#i will say our morals are quite funny

[dadrockconfessions]

I'm confused how you have a rules against slut-shaming, true crime and more, but apparently posting a confession about fantasies of violence and murder against a murder-victim is fine. Funny morals.

ur very right, I'll delete it, I wasn't sure about the post anyways as you could see.

[ardentteadrinker]

Sitting with a bunch of online friends going "I have rights?" is becoming a mood now ngl.

[eff-plays]

There's one convo with Astarion that's one of my favorites that I haven't seen mentioned or discussed yet happens (I assume) if you have high approval with him but play a good-aligned character. (This is at 60+ approval, start of Act 2.) It's probably because it's not a romantic cutscene so it doesn't get mentioned as much as the others (or because he's racist in it and some of y'all don't like to acknowledge that he has character flaws), but I think it's vital to his character and to explain his early relationship with a good-aligned Tav.

I would like to break it down a little, step by step. Because we are all cringe here.

First, he claims to feel a connection between Tav and himself, and the reason for this is because he believes he's identified "ambition" in Tav (and I'll explain why he's wrong later, but that's mostly headcanon territory, so we'll ignore it for now).

But, there's also clearly something holding Tav back from realizing their full potential, which is their naivete.

"Just that you ... have a big heart. You like doing what's right."

(The animations and voice acting here make him look and sound so fucking condescending, 10/10.)

However, Astarion doesn't tell them this is wrong, or that he disagrees. He implies it's a flaw, but doesn't state it outright. That's dangerous territory, see, and might predispose them to get defensive and reject what he has to say next.

No, he tries (and fails in my case, but it's cute that he tries, bless him) to manipulate Tav by appealing to that big heart of theirs.

"So I was thinking, what would be the right thing to do when we get to Moonrise Towers? When we come face-to-face with whoever is controlling the parasites in our heads."

"I'm just saying there's an opportunity here. If we can control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe and liberate the world from this evil."

See what he's doing? You like doing what's right, so what would be the right thing to do? We can keep ourselves safe. Liberate the world from evil.

It's very blatant, but he's trying to appeal to Tav's good nature by framing his questionable ideas as something that will benefit the greater good, something that's morally righteous that they would agree with.

And of course, it's incredibly funny when you ask how he thinks you'll do that, and he fumbles and admits he's not a "details person," but it's also revealing.

He thinks he's found in Tav ambition, when all he's actually found is ability. Tav exercises power proficiently, while Astarion does not. If he had the authority they have, he'd let ambition drive his actions, which is why he assumes that's what drives Tav when they exercise their power. A good-aligned Tav has very little ambition, I'd argue, but they have plenty of opportunity to exercise their power, which they do when their hand is forced.

So what Astarion is saying is, in effect, hey, you have power, I have ambition. Will you please use your authority/ability to do what I want? Here's how it'll totally be for the greater good, I prommy.

This is brilliant writing, and I really applaud Larian for managing to walk that fine line of making Astarion so sympathetic while he's literally trying to manipulate the player character. Because when I first got this convo, my thought was both "wow, I adore how blatant and terrible his manipulation attempts are, it's kind of endearing" and "he's so terrified, it's genuinely quite tragic."

If we control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe. This works only somewhat as an appeal to good-aligned Tav, because it could also potentially sound very selfish, especially if Tav is the self-sacrificing sort. So notice how, when he says "liberate the world from evil", it sounds kinda tacked-on, an afterthought designed to bury his main goal, which is keep "ourselves" (i.e. himself) safe. Like, yes, this will keep us/me safe, but if you're not into that, then it'll totally help the world, too! It doesn't quite work, because he still sounds ironic and like he doesn't believe they'd be liberating anything from any evil (work that 10 Charisma, boy), but that's the intent, I think.

Does he want power for power's sake? Yes. Is he gleefully powerhungry? Absolutely. But he's also fucking terrified, and that slips through just a little bit, even behind the smug and confident facade.

He's trying to get Tav, whom he's seen exercise their power over others, to lend some of it to him, so that he may never fear anything ever again.

All of this from a short, smug convo where he admits he's too stupid to figure out how to fulfill his dreams of world domination.

God tier characterization, 10/10.

[galene-gothic]

𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗀𝗈𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾'𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒'𝗋𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

Some people look at you while thinking that you're not using your full potential. People might also think that you're kind of lazy. There are two groups of people here, one group of you is really confident and people think it's overconfidence and the other group seems kinda under confident. I'm getting that for the majority of you, you might come off so confident that others feel insecure around you. Some people think that you're kind of cunning and witty too, people tend to be like "are they lying?" You might be one of those people who are so nice that you give off 'mean girls' energy. People think that you're mature and compassionate. You come off calm, caring and friendly, that's what your energy is like atleast. Especially if people haven't spoken to you yet. Sometimes you say things that make people pause and stare at you while wondering how and when you got so wise. People find it easy to be themselves around you. You might have men around you who seem to be devoted to you or atleast good emotional support. Jealous people especially might look at you while trying to figure out what's so special about you that you always manage to have such men be there for you. You guys are likely the people who don't tell anyone when a man is treating you bad. People try to humble you quite a lot too and I think it's because if you're still in school, people are likely jealous of you. Why? you may ask but you know the answer already.

It's because of the male attention you receive and even if you still aren't in school, people still don't grow up. If you're a man, people think that you're very loving and kind. It's funny how this pile is going to have different impressions for the two different sexes, men/boys who picked this pile have a good reputation while the women/girls who picked this pile are villainized. You're very observant, the type to compliment people on little things. You tend to say things like "your eyeshadow looks really good on you", "your voice is really sweet", "where did you get your bag? it's so cute", etc. People think that you must've atleast a few strong relationships in your life because of how you are. You are well-liked even if some insecure people will hate on you. You're responsible with your actions, some people take things really personally but you've learnt how to not do that anymore, "I'm sorry for saying that yesterday, it must've been hurtful." People think that you have strong morals. You are likely the kind of people who don't like talking about bad things that people have undergone behind their back or talk shit about someone who has not done anything to you. People look at you while thinking that you're really playful, you might be so childlike at times that people cannot even deny your requests. People feel safe and happy around you. People think that you accept their differences and find it easy to accept your differences too because of the same reason.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

People look at you while thinking that you lack direction and goals in life. They think that you lack self esteem but oddly you seem to be a thrill chaser. People look at you while thinking that you're kind of really ungrounded but since most people in our generation especially are the same, it doesn't bother them much. People also think that you enjoy relationships only at the beginning or you only like the crust part when everything is fun. For some of you, you might be trying your best to grow but it might not be working which leaves you frustrated so you might end up expressing it at times by being really hard on yourself and people look at you while thinking "oh, so they're aware of what's going on." Much like the last pile, you might also come off overconfident. You seem untameable and people look at you while wondering how you can lack self-control and discipline so bad but still manage to get things done. Some of you might be cheaters or atleast people think so. You tend to waste your energy and resources on the wrong things and people. You might be going through a rough patch but well, honestly, if you're actually acting like this, you should accept it and try to understand that true happiness will come when your actions and words match your desires and needs.

You're also seen as arrogant at times. Many people understand why you're this way though, you might've gone through a break-up or heartbreak of some sort. They still hope that you'd stop acting so selfish though. Most of you are guilty of leading people on. You're also hot-headed and when you lose your mind, you could say or do really mean things. You might behave really rash, you should really try to control your actions, words and thoughts so that you'd not regret things later. You somehow have good time management skills though. People are actually quite confused when it comes to what to think of you. You're not sure about who you are either or just in a transformational phase. Sometimes, you act really mature and try to be grounded. You're also a hardworker in certain ways. You might juggle between different things, images and also people. You're somehow still being able to stay organised and balanced despite your reckless actions and thrill chasing behaviours, people do not understand you. People do think that you're unstable and unpredictable though. This reading is not supposed to be an attack, please keep that in mind, it's supposed to help you move forward. I do think that you're trying to be and do the best that you can though, I hope you only continue to be and do better.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

Obviously, different people will look at you differently, certain people likely people you don't trust/people from the past look at you while wondering how you can be so uncaring. They think that you're very withdrawn from them and they're not welcome to come into your life. 'What do I call you?' by Taeyeon started playing. These are people who used to be really close to you but aren't anymore for whatever reason. The falling out must've been really bad. There are people from the past, likely lovers who think that you're overly emotional. You can be really moody though even if you're not overly emotional and some people from the past have seen that side of you and memorised it. People from the past are coming through very strongly here. They think that you're power hungry and individualistic, there's a chance that this person/group had people who were very similar and intolerant to people who were different from them. You might have been the type who refused to say or do certain things, hate on certain people for no reason, talk shit for no reason, etc. and they found it annoying, they thought that you were looking down on them and being hypocritical. Maybe, you had outgrown them, like maybe you had formed a bond based on talking shit about others, etc. and you were very similar at that time but once you had outgrown that and started having integrity, they thought that you were just acting like you were better than them. Not just them but everyone thinks that you have hidden secrets. Someone in your surroundings might be able to see that you have trauma and painful memories from the past.

They seem to have faith in you getting better though, they really do want the best for you. There's a chance that you don't talk much or aren't talking right now. Maybe, they were around you before but aren't anymore. Whenever they looked at you they thought that you manage to find the light even if it's just in a glimmer or they hoped that you would, likely because you taught them how to be more open to people and not use logic at all times. This person has likely seen your feelings rise, you might've cried or seemed overwhelmed and their own feelings also tend to resurface around you. I wonder if it's something romantic, they wonder if they're deluded at times. This person sees you in their dreams, you also show up in other people's dreams, not just theirs 💀. You make this person want to follow their heart though. People look at you while thinking that you're very attractive and charming. They might even be thinking "how are they even real?" You might be the kind of person, people don't believe you when you say "I'm not dating anyone" or something. People think that you always have someone who likes you or someone you like. People look at you while wondering how everything you do is so graceful, you might even walk slowly. You might have people come into your life as a 'knight in shining armour' or atleast that's what people think. People think that you must receive a lot of romantic proposals, etc. Thank you for reading, I think you're starting a new chapter in life and I hope you're able to have heartwarming experiences everywhere.

[femmespoiled]

I've been thinking quite a bit about this conversation I had with a butch I had a thing with, a few years back. To be honest, it crosses my mind a lot. In this conversation we were talking about butch/femme, aesthetics, stereotypes etc. The context to it is that I saw a video that showed, unfortunately stereotyped, femme as these 4 styles of clothing and whatever, you can think it was funny, it's not the end of the world certainly, but we got to talking about this notion that I think the community forgets, regardless of verbally recognising "we're not aesthetics".

He showed me a picture that he really liked of this butch/femme couple in a bar and they were both wearing the same outfit and yet we could recognise them as a butch/femme pairing. Reminds me also of this black and white picture of two butches with a femme in the middle, they were in similar clothes, only the shirts said "butch" or "fem" in the case of the one I now bring up. Both of these were taken before the 1980s, if I recall correctly. Of course these are pictures, so we don't get the full context of their identities, but the intention here is to illustrate the concept of, in a way, the silliness of separating us by clothes and aesthetics. What this expectation of femininity or masculinity means considering both of these can be presented in such a subjective way.

When I talk about this, and how I view femme through my own femme lenses, I want to once again, shed light to some parts I love of The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader by Joan Nestle:

"the femme is the lesbian who poses this problem of misinterpreted choice in the deepest way... Femmes are women who have made choices, but we need to be able to read between the cultural lines to appreciate their strength. Lesbians should be mistresses of discrepancies, knowing that resistance lies in the change of context." - the resistance and the strength of femme, along with its meaning, isn't quite obvious and a lot of people tend to miss it.

"Butches were known by their appearance, femmes by their choices."

And this part of Butch Is A Noun by S. Bear Bergman:

"(For the record, I believe that the same is true of femmes; the femmes who get the most admiration, the most approbation in the queer community in which I live seem to be the ones who cherry-pick exactly what of femininity they want, mix it with a hearty dash of traditionally masculine characteristics like sexual agency, stompy boots, assertiveness, fondness for power tools, and so on, and shake up a gendered cocktail that makes traditional unexamined cultural femininity look a little watery, a little pale. This is what I see, as a longtime admirer of femmes in all their variations, but I freely acknowledge that I only see what any femme cares to show me, and it's really not for me to say."

I think femme identity can become this pale misconstrued concept because we're not as obviously recognizable and people aren't as prepared to recognize us. People get used to, when thinking of lesbians, noticing and expecting butch signs, in such a way that femmes flew under the radar as an identity and definition and we still deal with that heavily today. And lately I've been seeing somewhat of a guessing game of what it all means that doesn't encompass our full range, truly it's hard to encompass that in any case.

But the moral of the story, I guess, is that femme needs more than a glance, more than one size fits all, more than what meets the eye, if we can recognize the multitude and holistic nature in the other side of our coin, we're capable of recognizing it within us.

[matrixbearer2024]

okay hear me out

vox accidentally slips and talks about angel dust like super indirectly he goes like:

Blah blah blah I had a super bad day blah blah blah fuck my life blah blah blah cause val is pissed cause one of his whores- angel I think tried to stand up to him and blah blah blah

and reader is like

wait wait wait ‘tried to stand up to him’? What do u mean? and vox is like trying to make the situation seem not as bad as it looks (he fails epically) and reader gets mad cause how could vox just let his coworker hit his employees??

Muddled Morality

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: Vox ranting and Reader nearly tearing him a new one- I love their dynamic and it's actually really funny for me to write our dear (Y/N)'s on-off confused attraction to the bipedal flatscreen. Like it's so evident that they love this man, but at the same time he does something so stupid it totally shatters the rose-tinted filter he'd got going on. They're already running around in circles at this point with Mr TV head's hesitation to act on his emotions and Reader's absolute obliviousness.

A/N: It gets a little angsty towards the end but they'll be okay soon- I feel like this was just another reality check Vox needed to hear from Reader who wasn't really gonna let his shit slide lmao- anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! As always, happy reading!

Providing the tech overlord with some much needed care was one thing-

But you didn't ever pin him to be a heavy sleeper.

Until now that is.

"Vox. Vox. Wake up. Vox."

You sighed when he made a noise similar to a whine and his arms tightened around you slightly.

You'd be lucky to get out of this now without prying him off you.

Your cuddling session was going extremely well and dandy compared to what you had expected.

It just so happened that after a while, your legs were predictably going numb for staying in the same position for too long.

Not to mention that you were hungry.

"Vooooox. Get uuuuup."

You started to poke at his screen repeatedly when he still didn't react, not caring if it left fingerprints or any marks on the glass.

He deserved it for being so difficult to wake up-

When his screen finally lit up once again to show his face, it kind of took a moment for the overlord to process what was happening.

Especially when he just stared at you wide-eyed and confused before all of a sudden tactlessly shoving you off his lap.

"HEY- WHAT THE HELL DUDE!"

So say he'd gone completely autopilot was probably the understatement of the century.

Vox could barely piece any coherent thoughts together when he noticed what position the both of you were in.

It was way too intimate to merely be friendly in his opinion.

And he didn't even know for how long you both were cuddled up like that.

God could his heart just calm the fuck down?!

You gave up yelling at the overlord when you realized he was kind of spacing out.

He refused to even look at you, just pointedly staring at the floor which for whatever reason seemed more interesting at the time.

What the hell was his problem?!

"A freakin 'thank you' would've been enough you know. Either way, I'm gonna go get something to eat. Do you want anything?"

You rolled your eyes when the overlord just shook his head, you'll bring up some food later for him anyway just in case.

When the door finally shut and you had left-

Vox quickly got up from where he was sitting and started pacing around the room.

He just fell asleep on you right?

It was that and nothing else.

You just comforted him after a stressful day-

That was it.

Just very close and very platonic and friendly cuddling-

"Why, I didn't think you would simply sneak in old chap! That's quite improper of you!"

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING-"

Alastor simply laughed when his rival nearly jumped a foot in the air from his arrival.

It was entertaining seeing the ridiculous picturebox struggle with emotions, all the more when it seemed you were involved in it!

He could easily manipulate you both for entertainment and none would be the wiser.

Besides, struggling with feelings?

They weren't children anymore.

How immature!

"What do you want?"

"Oh I was just checking around the hotel as per usual. By the way, (Y/N) didn't seem to be in the bestest of moods during dinner today. Did you perchance have any part to play in that?"

The radio demon only grinned wider when he saw Vox's expression falter slightly.

Was all that irritation towards him simply for bravado?

This was quite an entertaining exchange indeed!

"Oh fuck off, that's none of your business."

"But it is old friend! I try to ensure the happiness of everyone in the hotel, including your darling dear!"

The flatscreen overlord could see through the bullshit already, but his irritation was already bubbling over into rage.

Alastor just had to get on his nerves as always.

"Don't call them that!"

Vox didn't know why he yelled that retort of all things.

True, he called you a multitude of similar petnames anyway-

But to call you his?

That was just a flat out lie.

And he didn't dare to fool himself into believing it.

"Call them what? Don't tell me a simple nickname is winding you up."

"Quit it Al. I didn't leave Vox alone just so you could come in and antagonize him."

Both overlords suddenly looked to you leaning against the doorframe of your room.

They hadn't noticed your presence in their increasingly heated back and forth.

While you were still a little irritated with your techno companion for ignoring you earlier, you found bigger issues with Alastor just snooping in your room.

Who knows what he could've been doing.

"Charlie's looking for you. So could you kindly get the hell out of my room?"

Alastor merely laughed at your grumpiness, waving you off with his signature grin as he melted back into the shadows.

He had enough playing with you both today, maybe another time.

"Little princess Morningstar isn't really looking for him is she?"

"Nope. But he's definitely one creepy fucker and I wanted him out.

Vox would've laughed at your response if he still didn't feel so awkward.

He just couldn't stop thinking too deeply into the situation you were both in earlier.

"Wanna talk about what happened today? You just zonked out on me a while ago. I didn't think you'd be that tired."

You didn't seem to find any issue with anything though, sitting atop your bed and patting a spot next to you.

And people say he's dense-

"It's been an eventful day, in all the worst possible ways."

Your flatscreen companion eventually sat down next to you and sighed.

He was just overthinking everything.

Might as well try and stay distracted.

"Ah. Valentino again?"

"Hah, if only."

You simply listened to Vox as he went on and ranted about his day.

You were astounded to hear about so many things going wrong in quick succession.

It's like Murphy's law had somehow slapped your techno friend in the face.

'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.'

Yeah, that seemed pretty accurate.

"Then he stormed my earlier broadcast throwing a fit and bitching about Angel trying to stand up to him-"

Okay, wait.

Hold the fucking phone.

"What do you mean 'trying'?"

Vox's ranting immediately hit the brakes at your question.

He really shouldn't have mentioned that-

Or at least worded it a little differently.

How was he going to explain this to you???

"Doll, you know I mentioned Val doesn't like it when his employees dish out some attitude-"

"And you also mentioned he can be a huge piece of shit. Angel wouldn't lash out unless he was provoked."

You practically had the overlord cornered, your serious gaze was making him squirm.

It was totally different from the gentleness you'd graced him with earlier.

"Vox."

He'd never heard you mention his name that sternly before.

In fact, you were even starting to look a little angry.

Shit.

"(Y/N), what ever happens in the studio is none of my concern-"

"So Angel can't even save himself if Valentino decides to be an abhorrent bastard for the day?! Don't you have fucking cameras everywhere?!"

It was either your words or your pained tone struck a cord in the overlord.

You knew, it was in the way his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed.

He was attempting to do damage control, and you were just not having it.

"You know, he comes back covered in bruises after those shoots sometimes. As far as I'm concerned despite being a pornstar he's really not supposed to!"

Vox didn't know what was genuinely worse.

The fact he'd unintentionally upset you because of his actions-

Or the fact you cared so much about Angel Dust.

He'd never felt any remorse towards the spider back then, only growing annoyed with him for taking so much of Valentino's attention away.

Even now, despite visiting the hotel and getting to know the others better because of you-

He still didn't bother understanding or even sympathizing with anyone's situation aside from you or himself.

He didn't need to.

Then again, was there even a need to at the start with you?

"Why- just- FUCK! Why can't you fucking care Vox?! Why is it just me?!"

It's because I love you.

The overlord merely scowled at you lecturing him.

Those few words he couldn't bring himself to say.

The courage had quickly evaporated when you grew upset at his nonchalance.

Right.

He didn't care.

And still you were the exception.

His guilt only grew when seeing the pain in your eyes.

Vox knew you made friends with most of the hotel's residents.

Save a certain radio demon-

But he wasn't aware to what extent you cared.

You really were too good for him.

Too good to be down here in hell even.

You only grew more irritated at your companion's silence.

Returning his glare with your own as your hands were furiously balled at your sides.

It took all your focus not to start hitting and swinging at his flatscreen head.

Well, he deserved it-

And still you chose not to.

It wasn't like you hated the special treatment from Vox-

Hell, it was flattering and even outright cute sometimes.

But the fact he could so easily turn a blind eye to some issues he had the power to stop-

You wanted to beat some common sense and human decency into this idiot.

The two of you sat in silence for a while until Vox suddenly got up and headed to the window.

You were about to scoff at him running away from the situation until he spoke.

"I'll see what I can do. But I make no promises."

You didn't see his face but his voice was barely above a whisper.

The overlord's tone wavering and uncertain but masked with irritation.

Not that you had any time to reply when your friend was abruptly gone in a bolt of blue electricity.

Possibly already well on his way back to the tower to care for his hellish empire.

Neither of you ever had an argument this explosive since you were alive.

And even then it was because of something stupid you couldn't remember.

But it wasn't so different compared to now.

So why was your heart aching unbearably-?

You shook your head and stormed out of your room.

Fuck it.

You needed a drink.

[themadlu]

Do Not Open That Door

Astarion is sure his leader's unflinching morals will lead him to another unwanted grave. He is also sure she is putting on an act because people like her do not exist, clearly. He decides to test his assumptions.

TW: None I think

WC: ~3000 words

Tagging: @spacebarbarianweird for the encouragement!

Astarion is livid. Well, maybe livid was an overstatement—he is annoyed. Annoyed and confused. Such feelings are still a vast improvement over the fear and shame he's been accustomed to, but they make him restless nonetheless. 

Especially because their cause is walking steadily next to him without a care in the world for his inner turmoil. 

Zélie, their oh so great leader, has managed to spoil what could have been a perfectly enjoyable afternoon on multiple fronts. First, she decides to talk to the goblins ambushing them instead of treating them like the savages they are.

(“We don’t know how many of them are in this village Astarion. What if there’s a little army and we’re outnumbered?”)

After confirmation that there were, in fact, quite a few goblins (and a couple orcs to boot), she managed to get free passage through the village by leveraging their wriggly alien parasite. He isn’t happy about it. Not at all. 

He has to begrudgingly admit hers was a wise call after witnessing just how large and hungry those orcs were. And of course they even agree to help a fellow true soul in need. Just what he needs to undermine what little influence he has on her.

(Her blood is in his body after all.)

In the last tendays she had made it her mission to remind him how despicable murder is, under most circumstances, aside from self-defence. This beautifully idiotic mindset of hers almost got her killed twice in front of his very eyes.

(She doesn’t know he has taken to finish off the enemies she leaves unconscious while she isn’t watching.)

When he had pointed out the suicidal flaw in her morals, she had given him her signature scolding look, crossed her arms, and started breathing in that funny way of hers. 

In, hold, out. 

(She says she is not trained as a monk, but he’ll be even more damned than he already is if that is true. The way she fights and holds herself—and those sickening ideals she has—tell a different story.) 

“Honestly, darling,” he hisses at her as they walk through the village, squinty eyes trained on their every move. “I thought we agreed that benevolence and honour,” he spits the words out like a curse, “get you nowhere but to an early grave.”

“Astarion,” she always says his name when she speaks to him—even in annoyance— and he hates his constant surprise at hearing it. His elven name had been replaced with other titles over time, more befitting of his status—boy, spawn, whore, slut, beautiful, toy, love…

Truly, it’s a small miracle he managed to hold on to his name. It’s one of the few things left that are truly his, yet hearing it spoken from that solemn woman's lips makes something in his chest preen. 

“I thought we agreed to disagree on that front. No, don’t give me that look. Killing someone is never justifiable. No matter what we tell ourselves, we are taking away something that wasn’t ours to begin with. Something irreplaceable. Even—” she held up her hand as he started to complain, “in self-defence, even then, I will make sure to exhaust all alternatives, and even then, it will be a failure on my part.”

You moron. 

“Too bad the rest of the world doesn’t think like you, darling,” he snapped. Hers was an act. There was no way in the hells anyone could survive to their…whatever age she was, he was never good with human lifespans, with that mindset. It was ridiculous, because if she actually was like that—if two–hundred years of shit didn’t teach him better—she should either be dead in a ditch or have ascended to godhood on her saintly behaviour alone. The only explanation he has for her standing close to him is that the mask she wears is as fake as his own. That, or she is a child of Ilmater. He bets on the former, given her complete ignorance of any deity on Toril.

“But you lied,” he counters, snapping his fingers. “You said we are here on Absolute business. Doesn’t that go against your precious code of honour?” he singsongs in her ear. 

“I didn’t lie. My tadpole reacted to theirs, and they drew their own conclusions. Technically, we are going to their camp on Absolute business too, if you count removing these,” she tapped her index to her temple. 

He smirks, victorious. “Circumstantial. One day, the tadpole won’t do the work for us and you’ll break your own code or doom us to death. For one, I’d rather not repeat the experience,” he says in a quiet voice, pointing at his chest. 

Their companions are still unaware of his condition—another occasion his holy leader conveniently withheld information. 

(“It’s your secret, it’s your decision.” Hypocrite.)

“Astarion, I know you take me for a fool, and I would normally pay more respect to a man—elf—my senior by centuries, but really. I can be practical and have a moral compass, and that means that when the choice is between lying and killing, I will pick lying any day, even if I don’t like it.” 

Enough. 

Her words incense him, annoyance suddenly turns into rage and something else—what’s that, envy?—he pivots on his left heel and closes the distance between them so fast she has no time to react. Zélie is left pinned to the wall, their bodies a breath away from touching, and he internally celebrates the surprised look on her face. 

He stares at her down his nose, ducking his head and planting a slender hand on the wall beside her head. 

Astarion has to make her stop before he tears her self-righteousness out of her throat. Before she realises how useless it all is—how useless and tainted he is—and either stakes him or banishes him. Because even her sickly, do-gooding self, fake or real it be, must have limits. If he pushes hard enough, they’ll crumble, and then he’ll be proven right. She is not what she says she is because creatures like that aren’t real.  

“Let’s make one thing clear, darling,” he growls, nostrils flaring, “you may be our great leader, but you should get off your high horse before someone shoots you off it. I don’t know what perfect little corner of the universe you grew up in, but you know nothing of this world and its dangers.” 

He flashes his fangs at her to drive his point across. The others are out of sight, looking for supplies in some ruin or cellar. Gods, he misses the city. 

Zélie is staring back at him, bristling, but lets him continue. She never interrupts any of them, not even him.

“I thought humans were all about developing and living fast, but you, my dear, are as ignorant as a babe. I am trying to make sure we keep our collective hides safe and do not get sidetracked by other pitiful creatures on our path.” 

He realises just how close he is to her when she straightens up again and their noses almost touch. 

Pale eyes go darker with a flash of anger. 

There. Come at me. Prove me right. 

“Spoken like a true man of the law, lord magistrate.” 

Why the hells is her tone so collected when she has a literal vampire at her throat?!

“You seem forgetful, so I’ll remind you that it was my ignorance that stopped Shadowheart from connecting her mace with your head. And it was my stupidity that convinced her you could join us, and that we should give you a chance at trust.” 

She makes no move to get closer, but he recoils as if scorched by fire. 

“And it is the same trust I placed in you yesterday when I let you bite me, even though it’s not how I envisioned a night of rest to go. I trusted you to stop, I trusted you to keep your word and not leave me a corpse.”

There it is. Reminding him of what he owes her. Of his debts. They say the quiet ones are the most depraved, and she is the strong and silent type. But he is nothing if not an expert in the art of subservience at this point, and if it gets her to keep giving him blood and protection—

“I trust you.” 

Then you’re doomed.

She says it as if it were a challenge. Her gaze is unwavering and he is left speechless yet again. Cazador would admire this quality of hers.

“I hope you can trust me in return.”

Impossible woman. 

“Well, I suppose you’re not wholly incompetent,” he manages to croak out. His nonchalant mask is harder to slip on this time. 

She huffs a breath of a laugh, a tiny thing, but it’s enough to transform her whole face. The weight she carries on her deceivingly flimsy shoulders seems to lift, leaving behind a young woman smiling softly at a…well, a monster. Talk about inexperience. 

Happiness suits you, little leader. 

The fact it’s his prattling that caused this marvel of a transformation stokes something in chest and in the pit of his stomach that he promptly pushes down. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Zélie says. She moves away and he is left staring at the crusty wall. Her body never touched his own during their exchange. 

Wait. That’s wrong. He was meant to make her see the reason in his ways, not the other way around. So why is he at her heels like a lost puppy the minute she walks away? 

(“You are nothing by yourself boy. You owe everything to me.”)

He is weak. So weak he has leashed himself to a human who can barely read common, fuck's sake. 

His temper rises again once he catches up with Zélie. He doesn’t need her condescension, nor her chiding (she doesn’t even know his full story yet, nor she ever will unless absolutely necessary, so pity isn’t there yet). He’ll show the wretched woman how wrong she is. 

Karlach and Lae’zel jog behind them as they reach a barn with a door locked shut. Zélie thinks nothing of it at first, but Astarion can smell what’s inside.

(His senses born anew from her blood.)

He smells the ogre and bugbear and their horrid affair before the rest of his companions hear the grunts and noises.

“Oh God, someone’s fighting!” exclaims Zélie.

Fighting, you say?

An idea strikes him. 

See what your misplaced goodness gets you when you try to help an ogre.

“I don’t know soldier, they don’t sound like fight noises to me,” says Karlach leaning towards the barn, but even she seems unsure. Astarion’s talents may be limited to a specific area, but in this case it works in his favour. He is very familiar with what those sounds mean. The half-ogres that fucked him into the bed so hard he bled were not so different.

(He still remembers how much it hurt, how he was left in a puddle of mixed releases, sweat, and what little blood he had).

“Well, even if they are fighting, it is clearly not our problem. I say we leave them to it and focus on what’s really important,” he says, using his annoyance as a hook. Zélie may be the most restrained person he’s come across, but he knows how to read people, and he knows she will do the opposite of whatever he says when it concerns morals. 

She falls for it. His smile is harder to suppress.

“Astarion! We’ve just talked about this!” 

Her voice raises a bit, but it’s almost eclipsed by another loud grunt from inside the barn. 

“So long as my blade can be sharpened on my enemies’ bones, I am ready.” Lae’zel is almost as ignorant as Zélie when it comes to their world, which is usually a hindrance, but now it’s the push their little leader needs to run to the rescue. 

Zélie tries to open the barn door (after cutting another withering look at the vampire lazily strolling at her back), finding it jammed.

The crescendo of grunts and bangs coming from inside is extremely loud now. 

Gods, they must be disgusting. 

“Hello?! Help is on the way, hang on!” the little human shouts as she frantically tries to get the door unstuck. 

“Oh hells, let me do it, darling, before we turn into tentacled freaks,” Astarion says in mock-annoyance. She eyes him suspiciously and he shoots her a winning smile. His nimble hands make quick work of the lock, and he pushes the door open. 

He needs just a peek to know his assumption about what was happening in the barn is correct, and turns to face his now horror-stricken companion. 

“Gods, they are disgusting,” he comments with his lips crooked in a satisfied smile. 

Zélie scrambles to compose herself and turns her back from the scene (the prudish) as she fails to find words to explain herself. “I—I am, I apologise, we thought—”

Oh, she’s in a state. Her cheeks flush redder than rubies (he can practically hear her delicious blood pooling there), whilst the rest of her is paler than after Astarion’s feeding. She opens and shuts her eyes as if trying to physically erase what she just witnessed.

The bugbear slides his now soft cock out of the ogre, and looks at them in rage.

“W–what the hells are you doing?!”

Oh, Astarion is thrilled. He doesn’t remember when last had such fun. He hears Lae’zel’s tsk’ and Karlach’s gags behind him, and he closely watches Zélie fumbling as he didn’t think was possible. 

“Apologies! I, you—you were making a lot of noise and I, we, thought you needed help,” she holds her hands in front of her in a peace offering. “I apologise for the intrusion! We’ll leave now—”

“Ruined! SMASH. I’ll smash you!” 

Oh. Astarion didn’t expect that. He just wanted to show Zélie how ungrateful the world is to idiots like her, not have her turn into orc food. 

Before he can think, he is tackling the woman to the ground, the orc’s club crashing a few spaces to his left. Karlach and Lae’zel’s throw themselves at the aggressor, and the fight starts in earnest. Astarion is more a stalker than a fighter, but he had his first fill of human blood only hours before, and his senses have never been that sharp, so he doesn’t miss the bugbear rushing towards their prone form. 

Daggers at hand, he braces to parry the onslaught (this may hurt) when his worldview shifts, his back in on the ground, and chilly afternoon air replaces the heat of his leader on his chest. 

What just happened?

He turns his head to see the bugbear crashing to the ground, Zélie crouched on one leg and tripping him with her other. “Go help the others! I’ve got this!” she shouts, as she wraps her limbs around the assailant in a tight bind. “Wait! It was an honest mistake—”

He doesn’t want to hear her voice now. Doesn’t want to think how the little moron literally threw him away from danger. Even worse, he will refute the idea he protected her from an angry orc till his last breath. He only got his body back recently. That’s it. He still is unsure of how to use it. 

And she's dinner.

He doesn’t want to dwell on what happened, so he nods and throws himself at the female orc while she is distracted by his companions. 

The fight doesn’t last too long after that, and something takes a hold of his insides when he looks at Zélie. She is silent, staring at the large corpse on the ground, bugbear knocked out at her feet. 

“Darling?” He moves towards her and the sadness in her eyes almost makes him apologise. Gods, what has he done? He didn’t think this was going to happen. And why does he care?! This was his intent, this and seeing the real her behind the strong, polite facade. 

“I just wanted to help.”

“I know, darling. I—”

See now, how impossible it is to keep your ideals in this world?

“You knew,” she says, and while he words his excuses (the only real one being he didn’t think they were going to be attacked) her shoulders drop and a defeated huff leaves her mouth. A far cry from her happy smile earlier. 

Astarion can’t wrap his head around how he caused both reactions in such a short span of time. But this look on her, this, he knows. He has seen far worse in the eyes and screams of those fools he lured back to his master, once they had his way with him and realised a bit too late they were as trapped as he was. 

He expects her to shout, to berate him, kick him, punch him, stab him, banish him—but none of that comes. Zélie studies him intently, and something in her demeanour lights up, an internal judgement made.

“I still trust you.” 

No. No no no, he’s not going to let her fool him into believing this—no!

Her face is suddenly level with Astarion’s knees, the now-awake bugbear readying a strike. 

Astarion doesn’t need to think—he falls forward and sinks his dagger into the wretch’s neck. Blood spurts out, but after tasting Zélie’s Astarion has no interest in it; mud compared to a clear sky.

“Soldier!” shouts Karlach, ever the helpful friend. Zélie pants as the dead attacker slides off of her, eye to eye with Astarion again. He can feel her light breath on his face. Karlach pulls her up; he is cleaning his dagger on the bugbear’s clothes when an outstretched hand enters his vision. Hers.

“Come on,” she says, tired but steady again. “Let’s get back to camp.”

Astarion flinches from the hand as if it were a trap (it is always a trap), but Zélie is new territory for him, that much he begrudgingly accepts. She is apparently above the rules of their miserable world because she chooses to trust him, a vampire, a lying one, again. 

He takes her hand, bracing for what may come his way, but she just helps him up. 

“Thank you, by the way. For saving my life before.”

It’s a trick. It’s a trick. Don’t fall for—

She wraps her hand around his so delicately he thinks he may break, and shakes it. His thoughts and words are silenced yet again. 

“Thank you.” 

Fuck. 

[vigilskeep]

did you watch all the personal quests and would you rank them for our entertainment?

1. blackwall. it’s a great plot, i love that the war table options for it are two thirds unhinged, and the way blackwall talks back to the inquisitor about it all is really refreshing. i like that they let blackwall say fuck and that the romance version is deeply insane. no notes. this man belongs in a better game

2. cole’s seemed kinda fun! i love a spirit companion. i would’ve killed that guy though

3. sera’s i have actually played. i like when she kills that guy. like a lot of these i don’t think it really addresses anything major about the character it’s just like hey remember how this character is this character. and then gives you the opportunity to throw her out (again)

4. varric’s was fun it didn’t seem very interesting to play but i quite liked bianca actually. are there any consequences about the entire red lyrium thing being because he told his ex or

5. solas is alright i guess. another one i have actually played. i guess it’s what you can do when you can’t reveal who the character is yet?

6. demands of the qun is fine and krem’s existence upgrades it a few levels. i like krem he’s nice. conceptually i like the idea of a quest silently setting up a betrayal later. but i just don’t care for how the qunari are written ever so it kind of does nothing for me

7. i didn’t rewatch last resort of good men because i watched some dorian videos a while back and i vaguely remember it being fine. i don’t think it really offers a moral dilemma? oh i just remembered he can be convinced to talk it out more with his father i think. why

8. vivienne’s is. well. it’s very short and relies on it being a surprise that she’s a human being with feelings. i also don’t get the weirdly judgemental misdirect abt it being a youth serum and why they wasted other character moments on it like in here lies the abyss. it was a bit funny when her guy just immediately died

9. cassandra. oh nooo the seekers are bad people. who could have predicted this. am i supposed to be gasping

[anulithots]

Noorie's JJK analysis's/ screaming

You cannot keep me contained. My overthinking brain is buzzing.

(all sfw! This asexual likes to find as much fluff as possible.... but stuff tends to go over my head so I might accidently reblog a thing or two. Sorry about that <3)

Analysis

Most of my essays are here

Gojo the analyst

SatoSugu and how they support each other

Ao No Sumika - "Will we meet again?"

Gojo and Geto being compliments in an ironic way

Yuji Itadori and his non-existent coping mechanisms

Satoru Gojo... is there anything you don't have?

Gojo and his teasing

Gojo and Geto teachers AU

Gojo, being alone, and loneliness

Itadori is also selfish... and Gojo is compassionate.

Gojo will take care of it. Don't worry

Chapter 236

Jujutsu Kaisen Meta analysis

Would SatoSugu ever get back together

Itadori the sacrifice

Why Gojo and Geto understand each other... and no one else.

If JJK had a happy ending

Fav Analysis (not by me)

If Geto loved Gojo, why didn't he try to recruit him? by @ellionwrites

How much Geto canonically loved Gojo by @ellionwrites

Who the hell is Gojo Satoru by @fushiglow

Kenjaku's purpose as a literary device by @justrustandstardust

It's only them by @justrustandstardust

SatoSugu as celestial bodies (red and blue) by @justrustandstardust

He knew when he left by @mylee-sketches

Yuji Itadori's... not so healthy tendencies. by @epickiya722 

everything by @glo7to3

Yuji's past by @glo7to3

To read

Chap 236

Fanart

Gojo's wallpaper (crack comic with my sibling @mylee-sketches)

Umbrella

Lousy Personalities

Karaoke (crack comic #2)

Neurodivergent Satoru Gojo

Slice of life ideas

Itadori gets a demon dog plushie for Fushiguro

'I'm Satoru Gojo because of you, Suguru'

KFC breakup

Edits

"You were a wonderful experience"

"You're holy to me"

if JJK had slice of life episodes

(cannon compliant)

Itadori's sense of style

Gojo and Geto insult teachers together

AUs

If Kenjaku possessed Gojo instead of Geto

Headcannons

Aspec Satosugu

Fav fics

Carry me home It's so ridiculously good. Timeline suguru-centric fix-it-fic that doubles as a character deep dive. It's absolutely amazing.

5 Times Gojo Satoru Tries to Rizz Up Geto Suguru and 1 Time He (Kind Of) Succeeds by @justrustandstardust. Really funny. It made the asexual try to hold in laughter. Need I say more. Also prose style and the pacing and character voices are all really really good.

April pink cute satosugu fluff

Urban Privilege Nobara and Gojo bonding. Need I say more.

Embers SatoSugu but post-shibyua and full of painful nostalgia.

like best friends do aromantic satosugu. Mind the tags, for it gets... close to being nsfw? But... aromantic satosugu. It was wonderous.

Two-headed Calf Post breakup but pre vol. 0. What could've been. Absolute pain.

here and where you are - cityboys - 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga) [Archive of Our Own] REALLY REALLY REALLY SAD Itafushi. Alternate Shibuya timeline but somehow even sadder than cannon, believe it or not. It's a 'everyone gets a happy ending' but in the worst way possible.

Fav JJK posts that make me ~feel things~

Suguruuuuu whyyy

___________________

also also, specific JJK things that give me happy sparkles (I like pain):

SatoSugu but they transcend labels and to me they have a queer platonic flavor to them. (Romantic, Queer platonic, best friends, soulmates, everything. They are everything. But I like Queer Platonic for them quite a lot! They feel like Queer platonic to me <3)

Itafushi but I flipflop between fluff ship and best dynamic in history, or both.

Itadori and Fusiguro's their differing morals and perspectives on a complex situation/circumstances.

Maki and Mai angst.

Found family Gojo and Tokyo trio.

Tokyo trio in general.

Itadori and his sensei's

Itadori in general

SHOKO MY ASTHETIC CRUSSHHHh

Geto's children

The Junpei arc

Cursed womb arc

Maki and Nobara

Inumaki

Nanami and Hibara

Megumi and his sister

Found family Gojo and the Fushiguro children

everything. Literally everything except for Mei mei and the dub.

Want to blabber about JJK with me? Feel free to ask! <3

[papayatori]

Don’t Blink!(P5)

LN4 x fem!reader

Warnings: none

Thanks again for keeping with me on this story 😁 I’ve fallen in love with it. Let me know if you have requests/questions! -Tori (i'm sorry this is out so much later than I anticipated, I got really caught up in a phone call, so I made it a little longer than it was initially was going to be...)

Life had a funny way of stringing me along recently, and after the longest week of my entire existence, Bahrain was finally here.

I had never been on a plane before, so that was quite the experience. I shook when the plane took off, to which Lando grabbed my hand for moral support. At least, that’s what I’m going to call it. It couldn’t have been anything more than that.

We eventually landed, much to my gratitude. If it weren’t for my new job, I would never fly again. I could’ve kissed the ground when we got off had it not been for my wobbly legs and self respect.

Now, we were in the hotel. All of our rooms were conveniently beside one another’s, if not directly near. Oscar and Lando had free practice today, regardless of being jetlagged more than likely. I suppose, however, they were used to this.

My room was breathtaking. It had a small balcony that I could lounge on if I desired. The room itself was a series of multiple rooms, a small main room that branched into the bedroom itself, with a mid sized bathroom to the left. Even with my freelance photography, I could’ve never afforded something like this, and I made a mental note not to think about it.

After getting myself situated, I decided to talk a walk around the hotel. I figured that if there was anything to do to pass the time, it was to get myself acquainted with my surroundings.

Opening the door, I saw Lando and Oscar walking past to their rooms beside me. I gained Lando’s attention rather quickly, taking Oscar a moment to take in what was happening.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Oscar joked. I giggled in response.

“I wonder why?” I heard Lando snort at my comment from beside Oscar, who gave me a deadpan before smiling again.

“Where are you headed?” Lando asked, head tilting to the side slightly. His gesture made my chest burn.

“Just to look around, I’ve already gotten unpacked.” I saw Oscar smile.

“Well, I’d show you around but I’ve got to unpack myself before practice, so I’ll catch up in a bit.” He reached to kiss my hand, a small gesture that had started to become more of a habit for him. I felt my cheeks redden, he’d never done it in front of anyone else, much less Oscar.

“I’ll show you around, mate. I'm sure Lando won’t mind.” He smiled after Lando was no longer in ear shot. I laughed, hoping to keep the air around us light.

I had never really spoken to Oscar outside of our conversations with Lan. He seemed wonderful, I had just never really gotten to know him. Though, he didn't exactly take long to open up to me.

“How long has that been happening?” He gave me a lopsided smile, reverting back to Lando kissing my hand. My gaze dropped to the floor, a small smile creeping upwards.

“I’m not really sure what you’re talking about, Oscar.” I tried to play it off, but the lack of eye contact told him exactly what he needed to know.

“I’m talking about you and Lando. He never stops talking about you, y/n.” His tone was playful, lighthearted; but my eyes lit up nonetheless.

“What is there to talk about?” I looked up to meet his gaze now, worried about what he was saying. I trusted Lan, I didn’t think he’d speak ill of me, but there was always a chance.

“Oh, you know, about how beautiful you are, how your smile is contagious, how you can’t stop looking at his eyes-“ I cut him off after that last bit.

“He said what?” Oscar laughed, almost toppling over. The people around us had started giving us strange looks. "Traitorous Bastard." I mumbled quietly, causing him to laugh a bit more.

“Don’t be too upset with him, I had to sit and listen to him ramble about yours at practice yesterday.” He had calmed his laughter, giving me a smirk as my face had started to give away my emotions again. “I think you should talk to him about it.”

“About my eyes?” He deadpanned.

“No, stupid. You two obviously have a thing for each other. You should probably say something before you don’t have a chance.” He was smiling, but I was not.

“You don’t genuinely think that, do you?” Oscar gave me a look that told me just about how slow he thought I was.

“I’ve had this conversation with both of you, and both of you act as if I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to love." This time, it was my turn to look at him like he was stupid. "What? I'm the one with a relationship here, and I'm willing to bet good money that I'm a better wingman than you think."

With a sigh, i gave in.

"Alright, so you're telling me that if I were to talk to Lan about my.. urm, feelings, that he would have those same sort of feelings."

Oscar's hand immediately went to his forehead with a loud groan.

"Yes! That's-" another groan followed by a small laugh, "listen, I'll help you out with it, just promise me you'll do it. I can only listen to Lando ramble for so long."

With much reluctance, I agreed, shaking Oscar's hand as if this was some business proposal rather than a simple agreement over whether or not he was going to help me with a boy.

After exchanging phone numbers and finding our way back up to our rooms, Oscar gave me a sideways hug.

"Don't worry about it too much. Just text me if you need help with the situation." At about that time, Lando had walked out of his room with a somewhat confused look on his face, which I'm assuming was directed towards the hug Oscar had just given me. He eyed Oscar warily as he walked past him, winking at me as he did so. I rolled my eyes. "I'm just going to unpack, then I'll be ready to leave."

Lando gave him a look, still untrusting, but nodded in his direction before letting him walk off and turning his attention to me.

"How was your walk?" He asked, eyeing me still. He wore an expression that I wasn't entirely sure how to read.

"It was interesting, nice hotel though." I smiled at him, hoping he would take the bait and smile back. Much to my satisfaction, he grinned back, though it didn't entirely meet his eyes.

"Well, seeing as we have nothing to do until Oscar is finished, care to join me for a few minutes?" He motioned for his hotel door with a more genuine look this time. I wasn't sure where he had been going previously, but he seemed to have forgotten all about it now.

"Lead the way, mate."

Shutting the door behind him, he gave me a look that I couldn't read, yet again. His eyes were swirling with emotion, which oddly, he was incredibly good at hiding. I sat on the little couch in his main room. His room was set up just like mine, only opposite mine. I tilted my head as he walked over to sit beside me.

"How do you think your practices are going to go?" I looked at him, not sure whether to be worried or not. He shrugged.

"It's either going to be really good, or really badly.. This really could be my season. Hell, McLaren's season for all we know. I'm just hoping it isn't completely dominant again, even if Max deserved it." I squeezed his hand this time, that must have been what he was thinking when I walked in. At least that's what I was telling myself. "I'm sure you're going to do great this season. Just don't beat yourself up over it. I have no idea what it's like to be in that position, but I do know that it is difficult to overcome hardship. I'm here for that if you need it." I smiled a small smile, looking deeply into his eyes. He chuckled lightly, breaking eye contact. "I wish it were that easy, mate; but I'll keep it in mind." I still held his hand tightly, not wanting to let it go. He had turned on the TV mindlessly watching while rubbing circles on the back of my hand idly.

The door opened, scaring both of us. Lando had stopped circling, but he hadn't let go of my hand. I looked up to see a smirking Oscar standing in the door. I made a mental note to explain what was happening later.

"I see you two are comfortable." Lando shot daggers across the room. Not only were his eyes beautiful, but they were deadly too it seemed. I wanted to smile at him, but I restrained myself. "Anyways, I'm here to collect Lando now. Zak says we're leaving." I felt Lando squeeze my hand one more time before letting go and standing up.

"Feel free to stay here if you want, we'll be gone most of the day." Oscar groaned at Lan's comment. "Free practices are boring." Oscar stated. "Maybe so, but they're useful." Lando said, walking over to the door.

As they walked out the door I couldn't help but miss the feeling of Lando's hand in mine. I missed the warmth, the safe feeling I had when he was around. I think Oscar had done something to me. I think he had implanted some sort of chemical in my brain that was causing me to feel all of this when I had met them the first time. There was no other viable explanation for my feelings. I let out an exasperated groan, falling dramatically back onto the couch in Lan's hotel room.

Without thinking about it, I let myself fall to sleep.

...

...

...

"Nah, she won't be home for a few hours.. She's watching some silly race at her parents house.. She left a few minutes ago." I heard faintly from the other room.

I was standing in the main room, I had left my phone in the house as I was leaving for my Dad's. We were going to watch the first race of the season together and I was absolutely stoked... At least until I heard what was happening in my bedroom. "Are you sure? I thought I just heard someone.." I heard a females voice ask. Was I losing my mind?

I picked up my phone off of the bar in the kitchen, realizing I must have left it there while I was getting ready and forgot about it.

"I'm sure, you're just paranoid, love."

I felt the blood rising into my face. My hands shook slightly. Without a second thought, I trudged into my bedroom to find my boyfriend with a blonde girl I had never even met before. I heard two collective gasps from the bed, one being my boyfriends. Well, I suppose now ex boyfriend. "I- y/n! I can explain I swear!" I heard him call to me, but I had already made up my mind.

"Out. Now." I murmured, deathly quiet. The two stood, gathering their clothes. "y/n-" "Go! And if I ever see your face again, I'll mess it up so badly that no female will be able to look at you long enough to fuck you again."

…

…

…

“Y/n..?” I felt a soft shake on my shoulder. “Are you okay..?” Why would anyone be asking me if I was okay? I opened my eyes, my eyes that had suddenly felt swollen shut and hard to open. I reached up to feel my face, it was puffy and wet.

Had I been crying?

I finally looked up to see Lando, who had concern written all over his face.

“y/n what the hell happened to you?” He was crouched in front of me, frantically searching my eyes for something I wasn’t even sure was there. Then I remembered the memory that I had repressed for so long, almost exactly a year now. I felt another tear roll down my face. Lando helped me sit up and sat beside me. I saw a look of remorse on his face and immediately started to worry about that too, causing more tears. As if not being able to take it any longer, he pulled me into his chest. His strong arms were wrapped gently around me, encasing me in his body. Lando was warm, he smelled like sweat, but he was warm. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner." He said, stroking my hair gently as I cried into his chest. "Please don't cry anymore, you have no idea how much it hurts me to see you cry, darling." I looked up at Lando, eyes watery and sad. He looked so hurt and confused. God, I couldn't even explain to him why I was crying.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled before falling back into his chest, too afraid to let him see me any longer. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, y/n. Please don't apologize to me." What he didn't realize is that I had everything to be sorry for. Not only did I fall asleep on his couch, but I had also made it inevitable that he would come back from practice, potentially upset and exhausted, finding me on his couch asleep. Somehow, it had managed to be worse than that. Without another word, he lifted my chin, not giving me another opportunity to look away. He caressed my cheek tenderly, wiping stray tears as he did so. "Who did this to you?" I saw the anger in his eyes as he asked me this, wondering who the hell had hurt someone he cared about. My heart skipped a beat as the warmth of his hand burned itself into my cheek. "It's been a year.." I managed to say softly. "..in my own bedroom." I choked, feeling the tears slide down a bit heavier now. His hand held firm, not letting me back away. My pulse radiated through my skull, beating so hard that I wasn't sure if it wouldn't explode. "Tell me everything.." He said softly, his eyes filled to the brim with anger. I nodded, doing my very best to choke out the words that I needed to. After some time, Lando had finally let go of my face. I explained everything to him, even what I had told him when I last saw him. "That's my girl." He had replied, making my heart skip probably ten beats. It was a miracle I was still living currently. We had lied there for God knows how long, just talking and crying everything out. Well, I was the only one doing the crying, but that's besides the point. I snuggled into his warmth. Despite having slept for so long, I wanted nothing more than to lay in his embrace. His touch was my comfort. I could feel every breath he took, every move he made, every beat his heart sounded. This felt better than anything I had ever felt before. Not to mention, this felt right. "Thank you, Lan. For everything." I gave him a sleepy smile, my eyes still watery and face still puffy from earlier. He gave me one in return. "Anything for you, darling." This time, I was fully awake and aware of what was happening as he bent down, kissing my forehead. Heat rose to my cheeks, and for once I was grateful for my swollen, red face. The last thing I remember was Lando's thumbs tracing circles on my arm and back, comforting me in any way possible. We lay there with each other, the only audible sound being our breaths. This bastard really knew what he was doing, didn't he?

For those of you who wanted to be tagged^^(please let me know if you would like to be tagged) @kapsylia

[transfemarmin]

1610! m. morales x black! masc! reader

a/n: happy birthday to my favorite spiderman :3 this is a letter fanfic too, where the reader is writing a letter to miles for his birthday, and for the song it’s nothing too important just I think this is the song that reader would listen too and think about miles

��� mijo!” came the call of miles’ mother, it was early, and miles wasn’t even up yet, the boy let out a grown before he got up on his own, and shuffled around as he yelled back out to his mom that he was coming

the boy rubbed the tiredness from his eyes and let out a soft sigh, before he made his way from his room to the kitchen where his parents were going through the mail, his mother had a letter in her hand, and her eyebrows were furrowed

miles walked over to stand by his mother, he knew by now that he had to wait until his mother was done reading something before he spoke to her, his eyes blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the light. he had left his phone in his room on the charger so the only thing he had to do was focus on the things around him, his eyes looking down at the open envelope that was on the counter.

his eyes saw the

MILES MORALES

in bold black ink, but he didn’t process it until he had looked someplace else, his neck snapping down to look at the open envelope once again, his eyes were wide, his brain overworking itself trying to figure out who would send him a letter, an obviously handwritten one at that.

his eyes shot back to his mother’s face, and she had the letter in one hand, the other hand was on her hip, and her face was scrunched up in an obvious negative way, but miles couldn’t quite read the emotion

his mami used that face for damn near every negative emotion at this point, how could he tell?

“ what’s this, miles ? you got some secret girlfriend your father and i don’t know about..?” her voice was a mixture of anger and hurt, she wasn’t angry at miles.. she just didn’t know how to carefully pick her tone. she was mostly confused, confused and hurt that her son hadn’t told her any of this

“ what?” his tone was just as confused as rio thought she was making hers.

that’s when rio’s eyebrows furrowed and her grip on the paper tightened as she held it in front of him, letting her son read the letter she had found mailed to him

DEAR MILES MORALES…

happy birthday to my favorite person on earth, im sad I can’t be with you in this time.. because i am traveling now, but i just want you to know I am deeply grateful that I get to see you everyday im in brooklyn. i am grateful you return the love I have for you in your own little way just like I do.

which brings me to your gift!!

TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOU!

1. i love how you draw those you care about, especially those who you no longer see. ( ex: gwen, uncle aaron, i think i saw that guy who was like our spiderman but not??) and you have drawn me more times than I have the memory space to remember, but I love that about you nonetheless.

2. the way I first saw you, when you were new to visions and you were talking to all those stupid stuck up kids, of course you didn’t know they were like that.. you were new and everything. but seeing you try to talk to them and make dumb jokes kinda showed how you were trying to make friends in a different environment & how outgoing you are and I love that

3. i adore your stupid jokes, your jokes are not only funny by themselves but they are so silly, mostly because you don’t mind yourself getting laughed at because of how awkward you come across, I love it.

4. i love when you speak, your voice is so natural and every time I see you I pray it’s never gonna something sad ( doesn’t mean I’m never here for you if it is!) but I absolutely do love your voice, everything you have to say makes my heart race

5. your smile, it makes my heart race whenever I see it. whether that he when we’re together, or pictures i see. miles I adore it to the moon and back.

6. i love how you don’t give into toxic masculinity like a lot of guys our age, i love seeing it because you don’t see it a lot in black guys, and it makes me feel like I can just be myself around you and around others you give me that confidence to be comfortable in my own masculinity

7. i love how you’re super sweet to be others, even strangers. you’re the nicest boy I have ever met in the entirety of my days on earth, mrs. morales & officer davis raised you marvelously, and I can only hope that if I have kids of my own they are as magical as you

8. I love the way your eyes light up when you look at me, I don’t know if this happens for everyone you care about. but I know you do this for me, and I love it everyday I notice it, how your cheeks get all hot and your pupils dilate and you start cheesin all hard n shit, makes me feel all bubbly n warm inside, I love it!

9. i love how you always have to finish a section of corn before you move on to the next, it reminds me of someone reading a book, you go chapter by chapter and not all over the place, you finish it like.. chomp by chomp in small sections. it’s cute and definitely different ^_^

10. the last thing I love about you is how you don’t repress yourself for anyone, when you are with me and ganke you are so unapologetically yourself and I love that about you. It encourages me to be me, it encourages ganke to be ganke as well. I love it, and I love you

- [name] [last name]

as miles read over the letter, to say he was shocked was the understatement of the century, he felt his face get hot and his head was spinning as he tried to wrap his head around this.. but he was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his dad speak.

“ miles, who is this young lady you’re running around with? some tomboy? son, she better not be one of those thugs you hung around at your old school!”

“ no! dad.. he-“ miles stopped himself right before he could finish his sentence, he looked like a deer in headlights as his parents stared at him, with a look of pure shock and confusion.

“ this was not how I wanted to come out.” miles thought to himself as he took hold of the letter, his parents were scrambling for answers, but miles just took a deep breath as he skimmed over the letter again

a letter his boyfriend wrote for his birthday

a/n: birthday is in the colors of jeff and rio’s dialogue because they’re his parents and miles wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t be able to celebrate his birthday without them :3

[lemonnsss]

Moral of the Story Chapter 4

Gif by: @celebritiesandmovies

A/N- I’m so sorry for the late update! I’ve had some issues with my health recently that have led to some related issues in school; but, I’ve been feeling a lot better and tried to edit this up quickly.

It’s not my best work, but I had no idea what to do with this chapter, please forgive the nonsense.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Taglist: @vicmc624 , @mostlymarvelgirl , @yvonneeeee, @beetlejuicesupremacy , @moonlightreader649 , @whattheduckisupkyle , @chrisevans-realwife, @nekoannie-chan , @mrsbarnes32557038 , @imyourbratzdoll , @weallhaveadestiny

Word Count: 1.2k

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The thought that Scott would leave never so much as crossed my mind. How could it? Jean and Scott had been dating since the seventh grade.

I must have reread his email half a million times, each time hung on the words “I’m leaving the mansion too.”

I was pulled from my shock as I heard the door shut behind me. I put my phone away, internally prepared myself for the interview questions, and turned around, standing from the chair. I began to talk before I saw the figure, “Hello, again Ms. Potts. That was quite the situation-” I stopped. I had expected to see Ms. Potts. Instead, there stood Tony, who seemed equally shocked to see me there.

“Why hasn’t Pep sent you out yet?” He moved from the door to the desk, “The last person to make it this long had a mental breakdown a week later.” He passed my side, slipping onto her desk. He kicked his legs slightly before he appeared to remember I was still present.

“Regardless, where is Pepper? She usually never leaves interviewees unattended,” He leans back, bracing himself on one of his arms as he reaches to the top of the shortest stack with the other quickly lifting the top sheet and, while scanning it, says, “and most certainly never leaves them around confidential company information.”

“Technically, the interview hasn’t begun.” An uncomfortable pause fell in the room as he waited for me to elaborate, “Her regular assistant is on maternity leave. Her fill-in accidentally double-booked her- she’s in a meeting right now.”

He let his head fall back dramatically as he scoffed, “Shame, I had wanted to tell her something in private. Do you know who’s all in there with her?” A cocky smirk plastered on his face.

“No? Why, Tony?”

He slipped off the desk, similarly to when he hopped up, “Oh, nothing. Just have a bit of information to share with the class.” he was almost halfway across the room when he turned back to me. His smirk was now a shit-eating grin.

“Wait,” I ran to the man, grabbing his wrist, his expression turning amused, “if the information is so important, would it not be better to share it with her privately as you originally intended.”

I suppose I had a stern expression as I said that as Tony burst out laughing, “What am I? A schoolboy scolded by his teacher?”

“Not far off on the teacher part.” He stopped for a moment before a small smile came across his face.

“Really now? When was that?” He leaned against the table again, his interest shifting to the current topic more and more.

“It was my last job. I taught at a private academy outside Salem for almost three years.”

“Interesting. And what provoked the sudden career change?”

“I don’t believe I owe you that information, Mr. Stark, unless it pertains to a crime.”

A silence passed as he tilted his head one way and then the other. “Fair point. It doesn’t apply to California's laws, but sure, plead the fifth. I won’t judge you.”

“Oh no,” I said sarcastically, “how could I ever go on with the great Tony Stark judging me!”

“Ha-ha, very funny.” He moved his hands in an almost childish manner. Playing to exaggerate his point, “You don’t seem like the type to leave such a luxurious position for any old reason. And given that you didn’t have a job lined up, you left quickly. Why is that?”

“... My long-term partner and fellow teacher at the institution cheated on me with our co-worker.”

I looked up, his face seeming to wander between holding back a chuckle and ‘Oh shit’.

After quickly stiffening his laugh, a voice rang out behind, “Well, that’s quite the loss on their end.” Ms. Potts said from her place, leaning on the doorframe. Noticing her, I stood up, “You were a great help today, and from the small glimpse I’ve seen with you and Tony, well, I think he’ll be in good hands.” 

By the time she finished her sentence, she was standing in front of myself and Tony. He still placed his weight on the desk but now he stood with his back straightened. I couldn’t help but let out a light chuckle, watching how much his demeanor changed when trying to maintain a good image around her.

“Please, Ms.Potts-“

“-Call me, Pepper. Please.”

“Alright… Pepper. Thank you, but you’re too kind. I just did what I could to help. That’s nothing to be hired over.”

I watched as she placed a hand on her hip, looked at Tony, then looked back at me.

“Hun, I mean this in the nicest way I can,” she says as she placed her hand on my shoulder lightly pushing me to sit, “do you want this fucking job?”

"Yes?"

“Great! You’re hired. Tony is scheduled to attend an event in Milan later this week so, I’d recommend you get ready for it. You’ll be at the convention for four days, not including travel days, please keep that in mind while packing. Now, if you don’t mind,” she moved her arm in front of her covered desk, “I have a few rather large stacks of paperwork to get to. Tony will show you to your office, once you’re done you’re free to leave,” she moved around the desk to type something on the computer, “I’ll have the receptionist send the order out for your ID badge, we’ll most likely have it tomorrow, otherwise it will be the day after that.” She moved up to Tony and me pushing him off her desk and casually shooing us to the door, “Congrats on the new secretary, Tony, don’t fuck it up. And to you, good luck.”

And just like that, I was standing outside of Ms. Potts' office with Mr. Stark. He led me over to his office, the room was rather cluttered but, inside and to the left there was a door. He looked over his shoulder, I guess to check to see if I was still there. He then opened the door, which, led to the secretary’s office.

“There’s another door leading in from the hall, so, please, don’t feel required to come through this room every morning. If you have any other questions, you have my number. Otherwise, I have better things to do.”

“I’m good Mr. Stark.”

“Mr. Stark was my father, call me Tony.”

“Okay then, Tony.”

“Well, I’ll be seeing you then.” He gave a slight wave and walked out into his office. The sound of his door closing let me know he was either leaving or heading back to Pepper’s. 

I took another look around the room, it was well-furnished and fairly clean. There was nothing I could see that needed repair either. I wouldn't need to bring anything in.

We boarded the plane about sixteen hours ago and finally reached our destination. We were about five minutes from landing. I got up to wake up Tony, who had been asleep for the past four hours.

I walked over to his chair, slightly nudging his shoulder, “Mr. Stark, wake up. We’re about to land.”

“Fuck you”

“Apologies, sir.” I sat across from him and buckled my seatbelt.

After I had finished the pilot sent the message over the intercom. Tony begrudgingly followed the instructions. The landing was a bit bumpy, but far from the worst I’d felt.

Once we were given the all-clear to start unboarding we started walking down the airplane's staircase. I started walking towards the car that was waiting when I heard a loud bang. The unmistakable sound of a gunshot rang out. I turned around and saw Tony writhing on the ground.

[physalian]

What No One Tells You About Writing #7 —The Editing Edition

Today’s list is all about the post-draft process, as I slog through another round of it.

Part 6

Part 5

Part 4

1. No one cares about your book baby as much as you do

Trying to say this as objectively as possible, but it remains an ugly truth. Your WIP might very well be the most important project on your mind for months. Unless you have a significant other totally and completely invested in your writing journey, no one else will have the same priorities you do concerning your beta readers and editors. They all have their own lives and jobs to think about.

Whether it’s your editors not approaching your book with the same level of emotion as you do, or not working on your timetable as quickly as you’d want them to, your book’s biggest cheerleader will remain you, the author, and no one else. Doesn’t mean your book is bad, niche, or boring, it’s just not as special to anyone else as it is to you.

2. Your editors will have their arbitrary hills to die on

I have said this in other ways before, but editors aren’t robots (or at least they shouldn’t be), and we all have our own reasons for not liking books, and those reasons probably aren’t reflective of you as an author. You can have an editor with moral objections to some of your themes and characters, but who is still quite competent at critiquing pacing and flow.

Or one who just fundamentally dislikes a side character or a romantic subplot, while agreeing that it is well-written. Or one who does not agree with how a scene should be told, what elements it should include, what they deem offensive, etc. This is why it’s important to have as many eyes on it as you can for a full spectrum of opinions. One editor might hate a scene that five others love. You can’t please everyone.

3. This is where you will hate your own narrative the most

The amount of times you will read over the same lines of dialogue, the same jokes, the same introspective pining, the same gushy romantic scene, can be incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. You’ll second-guess yourself constantly. You’ll wonder if it really is that funny or that romantic or that compelling. You’ll convince yourself that it’s dumb or pedantic or pretentious and consider deleting entire scenes and characters.

When you’re neck-deep in cleaning up crutch words and fixing syntax and arguing with yourself over the placement of a period or a comma or whether or not to use “said” or a different verb, there’s not much fun to be had. Go slow, step away from the project when it gets too much, and come back with fresh eyes later. You do your book baby no favors editing with an attitude.

4. Your favorite elements will end up on the cutting room floor

This is why I think it's important to archive your deleted scenes. Some characters, important lines of dialogue, or themes and motifs get axed as a byproduct of deleting the scenes that contain them. You can either shuffle those beats around to other areas of your book, or save them for a later WIP, or a sequel.

Sometimes your book isn't what you thought it would be, and that doesn't make it any lesser for what it is.

5. However long you think it’s going to take, guess again

As mentioned above, no one works on your time table. Beta readers can be very hard to find as the definition of what beta reading looks like isn’t very set in stone. How I beta read is very different from the work delivered by some that I hire as we all have different elements that we focus on.

Some try to edit your book into a story they want to read, overriding your voice as an author. Some only give line-edit feedback where you’re looking for more big picture notes, or vice versa. Some give less feedback than you think the narrative warrants.

Some skip entire scenes and leave you unknowing if there was just nothing special to say about them. Some will miss important edits that later editors slap with valid criticisms. Some just quit, and you have to start over. Some will give you vague feedback, or contradictory feedback, or feedback that just isn’t helpful and you have to do your best with what’s been given to you.

Editing is a very long and tedious process and vetting editors can get mighty difficult when we all have our own stipulations for what we think a quality edit means. It costs a pretty penny, too, if you’re like me with WIPs that consistently top 100k words.

—

In the end, editing remains vital to any story, original or fanfic or otherwise, if you want it to be as successful as it can be. I don’t think there is a perfect, flawless narrative out there, even by the greats. You’ve already dedicated so much of your time and effort into your work, do it justice by giving it the TLC it deserves.

[ahonice]

it doesn't matter

jamie drysdale x fem reader (ft. trevor zegras)

word count: 4.3k

warnings: drinking, sexual themes and mentions of sex, cursing, jamie being a fake swiftie (dw that is taken care of), reader has a guilty conscious, fluff (some angst i think), happy ending (those are rare on this blog), not proofread because i accidentally queued this so it posted on its own oops

note: i rewrote this about three times over the past two months, hope you guys are pleased with the final outcome. any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. hope you guys enjoy. have a great day, love y’all babes <3 !!!

+++

“hey you’re single right?” your head shot up at the sound of trevor, one of your closest friends, voice. you had known trevor since you moved to anaheim for college, on your first day in town he accidentally took your coffee from the pickup area at starbuck and you chased him down because you would be damned if you spent ten dollars on an iced coffee that you wouldn’t of been able to drink. it would’ve been a lie if you said you didn’t have a crush on him, he was so funny and kind and not to mention the fact that he is genuinely gorgeous, but you never acted on anything because you were worried he wouldn’t reciprocate your feelings, and the fact that the two of you have had one too many drunken, and a couple sober, hookups didn’t help either.

“of course i am, or else what we did last night would’ve been morally wrong, why?” your heart rate picked up, thoughts running a mile a minute. was he about to ask you out? did he actually like you back the way you dreamed he did? was our relationship finally gonna be something more than friends who fuck at times?

“i wanna set you up with my roommate, jamie. i think you guys would like each other.”

+++

it was a crushing blow, not only did trevor just inadvertently just tell you your feelings are one sided, but that they are so one sided that he thinks his roommate would be a better match for you than himself. you felt sick to your stomach, this was in no way a heartbreak, but that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt.

“earth to y/n.” trevor’s voice shook you from your trance, you had completely forgotten he was there. “you good? you haven’t said a word in like five minutes.”

“yeah i’m fine, um who is this guy? i don’t think i’ve heard you talk about a jamie before.” you wanted this to be a joke, for trevor to say he was kidding, maybe jamie wasn’t real and he just wanted to see if i was open to a relationship right now. 

“well he’s on the ducks as well, seems like your type. brunette with blue eyes, he’s got nice eyebrows too, just a couple weeks older than you, i know you don’t like extremely tall guys so him being 5’11 is perfect.” the more trevor went on about jamie the more you realized that jamie was in fact a real person and did seem like my exact type. “he has freckles too, i know you love those on guys and he looks good in the color green, he checks off all your boxes y/n.” you hated that he did. 

“can i see a picture before i agree to anything?” you didn’t want trevor to get suspicious when you said no, so you wanted to seem like you were at least considering it.

“absolutely.” looking over at trevor’s phone you let out a small sound of surprise.

he was gorgeous

“trevor why have you never told me about him before?” you said, grabbing his phone to go through all of his instagram posts. “he is literally beautiful!” 

“i honestly didn’t even think about it, but jamie saw you at our party last week and asked about you and i knew i had to make you two happen.” trevor said, taking his phone back. “come over tonight. we’re having a party before the season starts, you’ll be able to meet jamie.”

+++

it didn’t take you very long to get ready, your hair and makeup having already been done from your errands earlier in the day, but you did struggle picking out an outfit as every twenty year old girl would. you didn’t quite know who it was that you were dressing up for, in previous months it was always trevor. you were always hoping that he would see you and you would end up staying with him until the morning. while that was usually the case, the second part of your fantasy never came true. the part where trevor realizes he has feelings for you that go further than seeing you as a good fuck. but now there was jamie, you hadn’t even met him yet and you were still wanting to impress him. maybe trevor would see you with jamie and it would make him realize his feelings for you. but jamie seemed nice, once trevor left you looked him up and watched a few too many tiktoks and interviews involving him, he seemed like the polar opposite of trevor and that might just be what you need, it also doesn’t hurt that he was just about one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen in your life, trevor was not lying when he said that jamie was your exact type. settling on a simple pink top and black jeans you made your way towards the uber trevor had ordered for you, palms sweaty and legs slightly shaking as you confirmed where you were headed before you saw your apartment complex disappear in the distance. 

+++

“y/n thank god you’re here, i was starting to think you were pussying out.” trevor loudly yelled as he approached you, great he was already at least three drinks in. “catch up” he said once he was standing in front of you, handing you a beer. 

“i don’t drink this crap, you know this.” you said, shaking your head as trevor silently continued to push the can in your face.

“fine, i bought you some caymans. they’re in the garage fridge, but don’t take too long, jamie is excited to meet you.” you ignored the way his eyebrows wiggled as you began walking towards the garage.

once you were in there you grabbed two drinks, just so you wouldn’t have to come back out for at least half an hour, as well as a shooter. you needed the liquid confidence that would come from the tiny bottle of pink whitney. 

once you made your way back into the party you walked around looking for trevor, stopping a couple of times to greet those you knew, before you found him sitting with the man of the hour.

“y/n! come here, meet jamie.” trevor waved you over, you took a generous sip of the alcohol in your hand before making your way over, sitting down on the couch. trevor in the middle of us, as he began rambling to no one in particular about something you didn’t quite know, your ears tuning him out as the sound of your heartbeat in your ears took over all your senses. 

“y/n, are you even listening to me?” trevor asked you, gently poking the exposed part of your waist.

“no.” the laugh you heard after that made a bush creep up your neck, jamie’s laugh was just as beautiful as he was.

“rude, anyways y/n this is jamie. jamie, this is y/n.” he motioned the two of you towards each other as he talked, jamie reached in front of him to offer you his hand. “now get to know one another, i’m gonna go play pong.” trevor stood up before you could protest him leaving you alone with jamie.

you expected it to be awkward, but it wasn’t. conversation was flowing between the two of you like you had known each other for years, you talked about the basics, what tv shows you enjoyed, favorite movies, taste in music, which then led to a thirty minute discussion about taylor swift and how jamie claimed he was a swiftie but couldn’t name any songs that weren’t played on the radio

“i have a lot to teach you i guess.” you were definitely making it obvious that you were interested in him, but you didn’t care. you’d usually be so shy around a guy so cute, but something about jamie made you calm, that was the simplest way to put it.

“i would love that.” the blush on his face matched yours. you smiled at him, contemplating whether or not you wanted to ask the question you had been wanting the answer to all night.

“so why have i never seen you around or met you before? i’ve known trevor for almost two years now, and i’m over here quite a lot.” 

“i usually just stay in my room all day, especially during parties, i’m not the biggest fan of them.”

“then why are you out here right now and not bunkered up in your room?”

“i wanted to meet you, to get to know you.” jamie answered, scratching the back of his head and giving you a sheepish smile. “i came downstairs last weekend to grab something from the kitchen and that's when i saw you, i really lucked out that you are friends with trevor or else i probably never would’ve been able to find out who you were.” 

you nodded at his response, informing him that you were glad you were friends with trevor too.

“speaking of him, i was hoping to see him again before i left.” you told jamie, standing up from your spot on the couch noticing his slightly upset expression. “let me give you my number, i would love to see you again, maybe begin my lessons on taylor swift to you.” 

“i would love that.”

+++

after exchanging contact information with jamie you made your way outside towards the pong tables, hoping that trevor would still be out there. 

“hey trevor, i was just about to leave, wanted to say goodbye.” you said approaching him in the dimly lit yard.

“you’re leaving already? i didn’t even get any time with you.” he pouted, resting his chin on your shoulder his arms loosely around your waist. 

“sorry trev, but i got to know jamie. don’t let this get to your head, but i think you might be a pretty good wingman.” you joked, your arms around his neck gently running your hands through the ends of his hair. it wasn’t abnormal for the two of you to be so affectionate, so this felt normal.

“good, i’m glad.” his tone didn’t sound like his statement, but you could easily chalk that up to the alcohol in his system finally wearing him down. 

“why don’t i help you get into bed? basically everyone has left already.” you suggested, forcing his head up to meet yours at your eye level.

he smirked before responding. “i like where this was going.” 

“nothing like that buddy, besides you just set me up with your best friend that wouldn’t be a good idea, don’t you think?”

“that's not fair, you can’t do that.” he mumbled, his head dropping back down into the crook of your neck. “you can’t say you're taking me to bed, and then not take me to bed the way i want you to take me to bed."

you rolled your eyes at his comment and began dragging him back inside and up towards his room. once you wrestled him out of his jeans, giving up on putting pants on him because of his multiple attempts to lure you into bed, you got him to lay down and made sure he was comfortable before you headed downstairs to get some water and pain killers for him to take once he woke up in the morning. 

“goodnight trevor.”

you made your way outside onto the front lawn while you waited for your uber to arrive. you usually would’ve taken trevor up on his offer to spend the night with him, but something about even just thinking about doing that was now making you feel guilty. it wasn’t like you and jamie were in a committed relationship or anything, but he seemed to genuinely like you and was actually interested in getting to know you and you didn’t want to do anything to sabotage that.

+++

from: unknown number

can we meet up today for coffee or lunch? i would love to start becoming a real swiftie.

to: unknown number

am i right in assuming this is jamie??

from: unknown number 

yes 🙃

to: jamie🤭

i would love to meet up.

to: jamie🤭

could we get lunch? i am literally starving because of my hangover.

from: jamie🤭

absolutely. send me your address, i’ll come pick you up. 

+++

you were in full panic mode, you had no idea what to wear and the fact that it was visibly obvious that you were hungover didn’t help at all. you told jamie to give you at least thirty minutes, after he told you that an hour was too long. 

you took the fastest shower you ever have in your life before tackling the biggest issue, your outfit. you went through every drawer, bin, and your closet before you decided on biker shorts and a crewneck. you could only hope that jamie wasn’t planning on taking you somewhere with a dress code. 

makeup was applied and your hair was pulled into a claw clip before jamie texted you that he was outside, you did some final touches before you made your way out of your apartment complex. you lucked out seeing that jamie was in a comfy outfit just like you were. once you were buckled up jamie handed you his phone and told you to pick the music before driving off.

+++

“so what is your all time favorite taylor swift song?” jamie asked once he joined you in the booth you found for the two of you, he had taken you to in and out claiming he was craving a burger, and you didn’t complain because you would never pass up the opportunity to fuck up some animal fries.

“i don’t have just one, i think it is humanly impossible to have just one.” you told him, taking a sip of your lemonade before continuing. “i do, however, have a list of my top sixteen songs by her in no particular order.”

“sixteen songs? that’s insane.” 

“she has over two hundred songs, you’ve got a lot of listening to do.”

“well why don’t you give me your list of songs, the only ones i really care about are the ones you like.” you blushed at his words, before stating all of your favorite songs by her. his only responses were “i don’t know that one, never heard of it, i know that one, wait no i don’t”

once you were done and jamie confirmed all the songs were now added to his spotify you two began eating as you gave him a run down of her career.

“so who is your favorite and least favorite ex of hers?”

“i hope you don’t have plans for the rest of the day because i have a lot to say on this.”

+++

“do you want to get dessert? there is a nice ice cream place a few minutes from here.” jamie asked while you two were walking around huntington beach. you didn’t even realize how long the two of you had been hanging out until he asked if you wanted to get dinner, and now three hours after that when he is now asking to get dessert. 

“yea i would love to.” he smiled down at you and you made the move to hold his hand. “sorry, i hope this is ok, i just wanted to hold your hand.” you blushed, turning your head away from him.

“it’s ok, i wanted to as well.” he blushed as well before he began leading the way towards the ice cream shop. 

+++

“i had a lot of fun today, i was honestly a little nervous that with both of us sober it would be a little awkward, but it wasn’t and i would like to see you again. soon. sorry if that is a bit forward.” you told jamie as he pulled up in front of your apartment.

“i’d like to see you soon too, like tomorrow soon. are you busy tomorrow? we could get dinner, a nice place this time, not that in and out and qdoba aren’t nice it’s just-”

“yea i would love to, just send me the restaurants info before so i can figure out what to wear.”

“you’ll look beautiful in whatever you wear y/n.” you blushed at jamie’s comment before leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. you were quick to get out of the car, yelling a goodbye as you ran into the front doors of your building.

+++

“finally you’re back. where the hell were you? i’ve been here for hours.” 

“how the hell did you get into my apartment trevor?” you asked the boy who was sprawled out across your couch eating your food. “stop eating my wheat thins asshole.”

“i found your spare key, i mean hiding it on the top of the door frame is just a horrible idea y/n.” trevor said as he went back into your kitchen, hopefully to put your snacks away.

“what are you doing her trev?” you asked, taking your shoes off before making your way into the living room.

“where were you? you’re never out late, and i got here at like two and it’s now eleven. did you pick up a shift?” trevor was quick to join you on the couch, grabbing a blanket and throwing it over the two of you.

“no, i was actually with jamie, he picked me up at noon to get lunch and then we spent the whole day together.” you blushed remembering how much fun you had today and how it was the first time in a while that you had enjoyed a date that much.

“oh, i didn’t realize that you two were getting along that well.” trevor said, reaching towards the table to grab the remote. “what the hell did you two talk about for nearly twelve hours? jamie cannot be that interesting of a guy.”

“we started off talking about taylor swift and how he is a fake swiftie, just like you are.” trevor cut you off with a gasp and hit you with the pillow he was using. “and then we talked about our childhoods, stories from school and growing up where we did.” you smiled at nothing, just reflecting on this one story jamie had told you about his worst halloween costume, which you then one upped with your own horrible halloween story. “thanks for pushing me to meet him trevor, i know it’s only been a day but i feel an actual connection with him and i can’t remember the last time i felt that with a guy.” 

+++

you and jamie had been going on dates multiple times a week for the past month now and tonight the team had the night off and jamie was taking you to his favorite restaurant for date night. you weren’t dating, yet, but both you and jamie have spoken about it as something you both want. it’s just up to when the timing is right.

“where is he taking you out tonight?” trevor asked you as he joined you in your bedroom. you called him over to help you pick out an outfit for tonight.

“cortina’s” it wasn’t a black tie restaurant, but it wasn’t a jeans and a tshirt restaurant either. “i was thinking my black leather pants and then a nice top, maybe my pink top with the mesh sleeves?” you were met with silence from your best friend, “hello? earth to trevor.”

“sorry what?” you rolled your eyes before entering the bathroom, changing into the outfit you had in mind. “what do you think?”

“i think that jamie isn’t coming to pick you up for another two hours and that gives us plenty of time to have some fun.” trevor said, wrapping his arms around your waist and giving you open mouth kisses on the exposed skin of your neck down to your shoulder, you let yourself revel in the feeling before you snapped back into your senses.

“trevor stop.” you pushed his arms off of you as you distanced yourself from him. “trevor you can’t do that, we can’t do this anymore.”

“why not y/n? you and jamie aren’t dating, there is nothing wrong with it. it’s been a month and i’m getting frustrated.” he groaned, flopping down onto your bed.

“that is not my issue trev, don’t blame me. i can guarantee that there are at least one hundred girls in your dm’s right now who would be willing to hook up with you, go bother one of them.” you snapped back at him, not in the mood.

“i don’t want some random girl, i want you y/n. aren’t you in the mood even a little bit, it’s been a month for you too.” you avoided his eyes as you made your way to your vanity to begin your makeup. “wait have you been fucking jamie? what the fuck y/n?”

“trevor you have no right to be upset, we are nothing. you were the one who set us up. isn’t this what you wanted?”

“no this isn’t what i wanted, i should’ve just made jamie make a move on his own. if that was the case you would still have no idea who the hell he was because jamie is too much of a little-”

“get out.” you cut trevor off before he could say anything worse. “trevor get out and don’t talk to me until you manage to get your head out of your ass.”

+++

“is everything okay? you seem a bit off.” jamie asked, he was right. after your argument with trevor you had been a bit out of it, the guilt of what you had done with trevor in the past was eating away at you. “could we talk about it later? i don’t want to ruin dinner.” your voice was shaky as you spoke.

“yes of course, but i’m gonna be honest i’m a little worried now.” jamie said, playing with the napkin on his lap. 

“i am too, don't worry.” your attempt at a joke didn’t help, but thankfully the waiter came to take our orders. 

+++

dinner was terrible. 

you two tried your hardest to have everything be normal and how things had been in the past month, but both of you were worried about what you had to say. jamie was scared you were gonna break things off with him, he was already nervous for tonight because he was going to ask to make things official between you two, and now he was even more on edge. while you were worried that after you told him about you and trevor’s past that he would no longer want anything to do with you and would break things off before they even got fully started. 

“so can you tell me what is going on?” jamie asked once you two had exited the restaurant and were sitting in his car.

“i want you to know that this started before i even knew you existed and it stopped the moment i met you.” you took a couple of deep breaths before continuing. “trevor and i had been hooking up, for nearly the whole time we were friends, but i swear to you the second i met you i cut it off. i’m really sorry for not telling you sooner, it’s just that i really, really, like you and i didn’t want anything to jeopardize that, even though keeping it a secret probably wasn’t the best alternative.” you looked out the window, avoiding his gaze, afraid of how badly he was judging you right now. “i understand if you don’t want to continue this anymore, you can just drop me off right here and i’ll uber home.”

“y/n. i don’t care.” you finally peeled your eyes away from the reflection of the cars in the side view mirror to see jamie looking at you with a smile. “your previous relationships are none of my business, yes it is a bit uncomfortable that he is my roommate and one of my closest friends, as well as one of yours, but i really, really, like you too so that doesn’t matter to me.” you smiled back at him, a few tears building up in your waterline. “i was actually going to ask you if you wanted to be my girlfriend, and i still want to. so y/n would you make me the happiest man alive and officially become my girlfriend?”

“yes jamie, i would be honored.” you leaned over the center console and kissed his cheek, to not distract him from the road. “it sounds like you proposed jamie.” you laughed. “are things going to be weird around trevor for you?” you hated the idea of being the cause of their falling out, or to have any team problems sprout from this.

“yes.” jamie replied bluntly. “and i’m definitely not the biggest fan of you two hanging out without me there, at least for a little bit, but it’ll all work out. i won’t let it get to me or my game, but the second he makes a comment about you it’s over.”

you giggled before replying with a short “got it.” and placed your hand over his.

“and don’t worry, i never plan on going anywhere without you drysdale. you’re gonna have to start coming to girls' nights too.”

+++

note: i actually rewrote this three times and each time the plot was different, the last version was so much juicer and had so much drama (trevor realized he was in love with reader, but he was too late dun dun DUNNNN) but i cut that out because i couldn’t get the wording right. anyways i hope y’all enjoyed, leave feedback (any and all is appreciated), have a great day, i love y’all babes <3 !!!

[romanoffsbish]

The Stuff of Nightmares

WandaNat x PregnantFem!Reader

Warning: Misguided Mama’s, Traumatized children… Mostly though, it’s a lil funny. | 1,526 Words

Book Referenced: Sylvester & The Magic Pebble

It had been plaguing your mind for a month now, on as to why your perfectly good sleepers suddenly sought out your comfort every night. They’d stopped doing that well before grade school, but ever since your wives started taking over their nightly routine so that you could rest up during your third trimester they’d been moving into your shared bed a lot.

At first you suspected it was some premature jealousy for the incoming infant, but just last night your daughter was softly sniffling, and when you asked why she stiffened, her eyes flickered between the faces of your sleeping wives, and suddenly she was just fine again. Her reaction was unsettling to say the least, so tonight you’d settled on doing some quiet investigating, which is why you find yourself stood in the hallway with your mouth agape.

—————————————

"The bombs were raining down as Viviana and Oleg frolicked through the town.," Wanda reads enthusiastically to your terrified looking children as they lay in their beds., "They jumped from one pile of ashes to the next to avoid the ground as it was 'lava' on the way to the bakery they hoped was still standing."

You cleared your throat from the doorway, and made your way over to put a stop to this clear madness at once. Both of your kids looked to you with eyes full of hope, which truly left you feeling quite horrible. The loves of your lives, who hadn't realized they were even in trouble were both beaming at the sight of you, and you felt a bit bad having to be crushing their spirits.

Then you noticed the book in Natasha’s hand, “The Wolf and It’s Prey,” the cover an obvious depiction of children being mauled by massive hairy beasts, and the feelings quickly faded., “Absolutely not; Natasha, Wanda, please might I have a word with you both in the hallway?,” the book was promptly snatched from your pouting wife’s hand, but they quickly obliged. Before meeting them you moved to tuck the kids in, kissed their foreheads, then promised to return with a less abrasive set of storytelling.

“What the fuck is this?,” you asked in a harsh whisper as you gently closed the door behind you and stared at yours lover a bit bewildered., “It’s my favorite childhood book, we didn’t have much to read in the Red Room, but this story brought me immense comfort.,” your face fell at the creepy admission., “Nat, these kids are clearly screaming, and being murdered.”

“Yeah, but the point of the story is to always listen to those in charge, so that you don’t break rules like they did and get eaten.,” you were honestly shocked that she thought the moral of the dark story would change your tune, as if there weren’t many books about the exact same principles that didn’t leave kids in tears, and eventually leading them to your bed., “Nat—honey, this isn’t comforting, like at all.”

Wanda was standing very still, hoping that you would be so focused on berating Natasha for her terrifying story you’d overlook hers., “And you.,” she winced when your finger wagged in her face., “What was that you were reading?”

“I-it is one of the books from my childhood that I recently found at that old timey bookstore up the street.,” your features softened upon hearing the vulnerability in your far more sensitive wives voice, and it was as if it all clicked., “My loves, I think I understand the sentiment here.,” your tone was a lot less accusatory this time, your hands gently reached out for theirs, you tugged them closer, and settled your joined hands on your bump, not missing the way they smiled at the action.

“These stories are nostalgic I’m sure, they represent to you a piece of your harsh history that you actually remember fondly.,” they nodded at your words., “Which is great, but what comforts you, actually terrifies our kids.”

“Have neither of you been the slightest bit curious why they’ve taken to sleeping with us again?,” you asked, this time with humor in your voice to lighten the darkened mood., “Well we don’t mind, it was actually nice to have them snuggled up to us again.,” Natasha admits, to which you smile in understanding., “Yeah, but you want them to do it because they miss us, not because they’re scared shitless.”

They chuckled at your deadpanned expression, then they shared a soft set of smirks that you always knew meant trouble for you. Natasha used her hold on your hand to abruptly pull you into her for a kiss that quickly left you breathless. Then as soon as you gasped upon release Wanda was pulling you in next., “Oh dorogoy, now what would we do without you?,” you ducked your head at their words, then lightly shoved them away for flustering you., “Probably live on to traumatize an entire generation.”

They cackled, and you smirked back at them while walking back into your kids room to collect them, figuring you might as well get ahead of their sneaking in. Natasha scooped little Sarah up into her arms as soon as you exited the room, the sight of the tired little girl, with her bunny stuffy tucked under her arm snuggling into your wife settled your heart.

Wanda did the same with Zachary, who giggled wildly when she blew a raspberry onto his exposed tummy as she lifted him up higher than necessary, but then she settled him when you glared at her for riling him up., “Mommy’s no fun.,” she whispered in his ear, making sure it was loud enough for you to hear, and your son giggled again while looking at you as if he had a chamber of secrets to uphold.

“Alright, off to bed! All of you.,” you boomed, and the collective brood rushed off to your room. As soon as you walked in Natasha’s hand was splayed over your lower back, guiding you to the mattress where Wanda already was laying on her side with the gremlins at her side. Wanda took the book from your hand, and Nat patiently helped you into the center of the bed.

Once you were all settled you began to read: “Sylvester and the Magic Pebble.,” your wives, and children gave you all their attention.

“Mama, look!,” Sarah gasped, and Nat shuffled to get a better look at the page., “A lion!,” your wife subtly glared at you, as if your lion eating a donkey was better than her wolves tearing children apart., “Yeah baby! What a scary beast he is.,” she mused tauntingly, shuffling a bit to avoid your knowing elbow jab to come.

“After a month of searching the same places over and over again, and inquiring of the same animals over and over again, Mr. and Mrs. Duncan no longer knew what to do.,” you read, an air of sadness in your tone to convey the emotions to your children, not missing the way your wives were also hanging off of every word., “They tried their best to be happy, to go about their usual ways.”

“Mommy…,” your son sniffled, you dropped the open book on your chest to look to him., “Would you guys be okay if I was a rock?,” the wobble of his lip broke your heart, but you were able to muster up a loving smile., “Of course not honey, we’d miss you so much.,” Wanda’s arms tightened around the both of your kids for emphasis., “Our precious babies, don’t worry, I’m sure Sylvester will be okay.,” Natasha looked to you for needed reassurance, to which you winked, and went on reading.

Natasha’s hands clutched your shoulder as the climax of the story was building., “He was stone-dumb.,” the redhead then groaned., “Oh god, that’s so corny.,” you chuckled then continued on reading about the reunification.

"I have the strangest feeling that our dear Sylvester is still alive and not far away."

“He is! He is!,” the entire bed shouted in unison, and you smirked at their enthusiasm., “I am! I am!,” you read out right after, and all the bodies on the bed shifted closer to you. Cheers erupted as you flipped the page to show that Sylvester’s wish had finally come true, he was a donkey once again, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the bed as you flipped to them all cuddled up together on the couch.

“That was such a good story mommy.,” Sarah said over a yawn, her face falling into a tired smile as you helped her shift over you, and in between you and Natasha’s body., “Yeah, I loved it.,” Zach added over his own yawn, his tiny arm now thrown over your belly, and his snores soon followed his shifting.

“Moya lyubov’, I hate to admit it, but you’re right, that was a good story, and it didn’t even need the mauling.,” the redhead quietly teased as she leaned over your sleeping daughter to kiss Wanda, and you goodnight, “Or the bombs.,” Wanda added as she pecked your lips, and you playfully scoffed., “You are menaces.”

—————————————

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)