#i will try to find the tiktok that said this

[alotofpockets]

The cat distribution system | Lucy Bronze x Reader

Where you find a stray kitten and try to convince your girlfriend to keep it.

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.1k

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You have seen plenty of “the cat distribution system” videos on your tiktok, people finding stray cats, or rather stray cats finding their people. Every time you saw one, you would show it to Lucy. Your wife was a dog person, while you were a cat person. So, where you thought the cute part was the cats, Lucy thought the cute part was your excitement.

Never had you thought that one day the cat distribution system would distribute a cat to you, but then on your morning run you saw something moving out of the corner of your eye. You slowed your run to check it out, and couldn't believe your eyes when it was a little orange tabby kitten.

Its meows were soft but high pitched as you knelt down beside it. “Hi little buddy, what are you doing out here all on your own?” Your heart melted at the way the kitten nudged its head into your hand. After a few careful pets, you lifted up the kitten and cuddled it close to your body. It instantly nestled into your warmth, and your heart melted even more.

“Let’s see if you have any friends around, little buddy.” You looked around the general area, but weren’t finding any sign of the kitten's parents or siblings. “Looks like you’re coming home with me for a bit.” 

You abandoned your morning run entirely, and went straight home. In your home office you set up some space for the little kitten. Some soft blankets, a bowl of water, and some cat food you got from your neighbours. 

On the other side of your office door Narla was busy sniffing around, trying to figure out what this new scent in your home was. “Oh hi sweetheart, I’ve brought a friend with me. I will introduce you two later.” You said while petting your dog. 

“Who did you bring with you?” Lucy’s curious voice sounded from the front door. You rush to hug your wife, as does Narla. “Hi baby, how was training?” She pecks your lips before she kneels down to pet Narla. “Training was good. Are you going to tell me who you brought with you or are we just completely ignoring that you just said that?” Your wife said with a smirk, fully knowing your tactics.

“You know how I always show you those videos of people finding stray cats?” Lucy’s eyes widened. “You did not.” 

“I did. It’s in my office.” Before Lucy could say something you continued. “It was out there all on its own, and it was cold. I took it with me to warm up, and was hoping you would come to the vet with me to check if it has a chip or something.” 

Lucy agreed and drove you to the vet right away. You sat in the passenger seat with the little kitten asleep in your arms, Lucy wouldn’t admit it to your face, but the moment warmed her heart. At the vet, they checked for a chip, and did not find one. Besides that they also did a full work up, it was a boy, and besides being a little underfed he was fine. The doctor gave the two of you a moment.

“Luce we can’t just leave it here and let him go to the animal shelter. Can we please take him home and find a proper placement for him ourselves? I want him to find a good home.” With your best puppy dog eyes you managed to convince her. When you told the vet, he sent you home with some supplies, after giving the kitten a vaccination.

It had been a couple of days since you had taken in the little kitten. Lucy had made you promise to not name the kitten, because you would get too attached. So of course you didn’t name it… outloud. In your head you had given the kitten a name the moment you decided to take it back home from the vet, little Toby Bronze.

Lucy had been kind of standoff-ish with Toby, but you didn’t expect anything else from your dog loving wife. That’s why you were surprised to find Toby cuddled up in your wife’s arms as they had both fallen asleep on the couch. You quickly snap a picture, mainly because the sight was adorable, but also for leverage. 

You had fully fallen for the tiny kitten, and it wasn’t until now that you had the slight hope that maybe Lucy had fallen for him too. There already wasn’t the argument that Narla wouldn’t get along with him, because they had been running around in your living room together from the moment you introduced the two of them together. 

At first you wanted to ask Lucy if you could keep Toby right away, but you thought it was best to give her some more time to bond with the kitten. You had been in charge of finding a new home for the kitten, but you had stopped responding to people who were interested in hopes of keeping Toby in your own home.

The one eventing you were laying cuddled into Lucy’s side on the couch, your head resting on her shoulder while a movie played on the TV. Narla was softly snoring with her head laying in Lucy’s lap. You heard the tiny taps of Toby’s feet coming closer, and smiled to yourself as you felt him jump onto the couch besides you. He found his place in your lap, walked in a couple of circles, and sat down. 

All of you sitting on the couch, was like your little family was complete for the time being. Both wanting kids in the future, but now your loved fluff balls were your family, and you loved it. Lucy reached out her hand and gave Toby a few pets over his head.

“You know, I’ve really enjoyed having him around.” Your focus on the movie was instantly shattered, was she saying what you thought she was saying. “What would you say we give him a forever home?” Tears welled in your eyes with excitement. “Really Luce?” 

She smiled and pecked your lips. “Really.” You hugged her tight, careful not to squish Narla and Toby. When you leaned back into her side to continue the movie Lucy said, “So what have you been calling him?” Of course she had known all along that you would get attached to the little orange tabby from the start. 

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[ktaerssoi]

blabber mouth

summary: the multiple times you were caught having an interaction a little more than friendly with paige.

paige bueckers x fem!reader

(582)

notes: not proof read sorryyyy. also sorry for disappearing for the past three days i was preoccupied. anyway i actually like this i hope im not wrong. i keep watching this one caitlin clark edit someone save me she is so fine. - kate

1.

you had been known to the fans of UConn women's basketball, usually hanging out with the girls. you had met them through azzi, the both of you majoring in communications, and eventually, you had been indoctrinated into the team. you had grown close to many of the girls, befriending everyone. and maybe even going on a few dates with a special girl you had the privilege of meeting.

that being said, it wasn't common for you to be seen in tiktoks or lives. that's why fans went borderline insane when they saw you leaning your head on paige's shoulder in the background of one of ice's lives.

rumors of you being in a relationship were swarming the internet, fans trying to find even more "proof" of you together. they had been right, you were dating, but no one else needed to know that.

that's why you posted a video on paige's tiktok making a disclaimer that you guys were "just friends." however, the fans had gotten a taste of you two together, and weren't about to stop the edits or comments.

2. 

being a secret girlfriend to UConn's star player wasn't easy, you needed to go to all of the games to make paige happy, but you also couldn't be too public about your relationship.

you had thought you were doing a pretty good job, you sat directly across from the home bench and cheered when acceptable. you had been recognized more and more often now as you had officially posted with the team and were with them almost all the time.

your phone was blowing up with follow requests and tagging notifications, and your newfound fans wanting to get to know you outside of the girls. checking through notifications one day, you saw you had been tagged an abundant amount of times on one post.

clicking on the video, it starts to play a lovey-dovey edit audio as you watch clips of you a paige at the games. her pointing to you in the stands, you cheering as she shoots a three, and her hugging you after a game were all clips included in the edit. 

needless to say, that was not the last of those edits.

3. 

you and paige had been going on date nights frequently throughout your almost year-long relationship. along the way you guys had gained a bit of a following on social media, being spotted almost everywhere it was difficult to just be a couple in public.

you and paige had finally had a good amount of time where the both of you were open and could do anything, deciding you would go to a nice little restaurant near by your shared apartment.

you had been laughing about some funny story paige had been telling about her day when a fan came up to your table. "wait, oh my gosh, no way, ohmygosh, you're paige bueckers! and you're her girlfriend!" you had gotten flustered at the correct assumption, not wanting to deny it but knowing you would have to denounce it to protect paige's future.

"oh um," you were cut off by paige grabbing your hand, giving you a look before turning to the girl. "that's me, do you want a picture? i have some time."

you smile as you watch her pose for the photo, what you hadn't realized was that you were visible in the background admiring her like she was the sun.

the fans had a field day with that single photo.

[scarletwinterxx]

middle finger and promise rings - jaehyun scenario

helllooooo a fluff moment with jung jaehyun. I was scrolling through tiktok the other day and I found a compilation of him laughing and it was the cutest thing ever so now we're here😅

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(pics nad gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

Jaehyun enters the apartment and the first thing he hears is your laugh. He hangs his jacket on the hook, takes off his shoes before walking towards the living room where he sees you lying on the couch giggling to yourself.

You spot him over your phone, quickly turning it off when you spot your boyfriend "Hi, you're home early" you greet him, walking towards him.

He smiles at you, opening his arms to give you a very much needed hug. He does everyday, without a fail. Whenever he gets home from work or somewhere, he asks for a hug from you.

"What were you watching?" he asks

"You"

"Huh?" he peaks down at you, still caged in his arms

"I was looking through my phone then I saw a bunch of videos, like from when we started dating until recent. You looked cute, especially when you laugh" you answer him

"I thought my laugh was loud" he chuckles, letting you to sit on the couch. You follow him, taking the seat beside him.

"It is. But I love it so much, you know you have this kind of laugh when you find something really funny and your face scrunches up in a cute way" you try to mimic it while Jaehyun watches.

You might as well tell him you'll marry him with the way you're making his heart explode right now. Moments like these are what he looks forward to the most when he comes home. The simple conversations with you, no matter how random they are, he cherishes them so much.

"Oh by the way, can we order chicken and pasta for dinner? Or chinese food? I can't decide, how about you what do you want?"

"Chinese sounds good, do you want me to call our favorite place?" he asks, already getting his phone out

"Okay, and this came in today by the way" you say, passing the package that arrived today. "What is it?" you ask, while waiting for him to open it

"I forgot, must've ordered this a long time ago"

Without checking the label he opens it. When he flips the unsealed package upside down, a velvet box falls on his lap.

The two of you freeze.

He should've checked the label. Jaehyun internally panics.

Meanwhile you don't say anything, waiting for him to do or say something. But he doesn't so you clear your throat, getting your phone on the table "I'll order, tell me if you want anything else" you tell him.

"Uh yea sure" Jaehyun swallows the lump in his throat, finally coming to his senses. Taking the box before excusing himself. You hear the bedroom door open and close.

After that night you don't mention anything about it. You didn't ask questions. You acted like you didn't see it. Jaehyun wondered if he should ask but he doesn't know where to start.

What do you think it was, did you have your suspicions, were you upset with him? These are the questions running in his mind. But you never said anything to him, like everything was normal.

He was debating if he should've just showed you what was inside. If you were thinking it was a ring then you're right.

About a few months ago, he ordered a ring after finally getting your size. He's still worrying if you'll like it. It's not an engagement rring, not yet atleast. The ring inside was a promise ring for you. You told him a story about wearing a ring ever since your teen years, way back before the two of you met. You bought yourself a ring, a promise to exchange it to something else when you get yourself a boyfriend.

You showed him the ring before, it was a simple metal band you used to wear on your middle finger. You never took it off, not a day. That was until he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Of course he had to get you a new one, he was just waiting for the right time to give it to you.

He forgot to check the email about the shipping and didn't expect it to arrive when it did. It definitely wasn't part of the plan to open it infront of you.

It's been a few weeks since then. You honestly kind off forgot about it. You trust Jaehyun will tell you in the right time.

Tonight, he's running a bit late. He got caught up in a meeting so when he got home you were already sleeping. He enters the apartment carefully, walking through the hallway and cracking the bedroom door slowly.

The lights were all off, the only light coming from outside but he can see your silhouette from under the blanket. Quickly but quietly he gets ready for bed, sliding beside you.

He turns sideways to watch you, eyes closed, face peaceful, breathing slow and quite. You're giving off the most serene aura, he can't think of anything else but you.

Your hand was resting open beside your head, he reaches a finger out to trace random patterns while still watching you. He missed you so much today, he don't want to wake you up but he wishes he can give you a hug.

He does that for quite some time, tracing things on your palm while watching you waiting for sleep to come to him too.

From random patterns, to short words. He's now tracing random words on your palm, like you always do with his. You always do it randomly, in public or when it's just the two of you. Most times you spell out the word 'I love you' on his palm, that was actually how you said it to him for the first time. It took him some time to finally realize it, and when he did looked over at you with a surprised look. Saying the same three words back at you.

Right now he traces the word 'mine' in yours, while his mind wonders just how lucky he is to have you in his life.

He believes this isn't the only lifetime he'll love you, it isn't possible. Wishing hoping praying that in all alternate universes, however many there are, that version of him meets their version of you.

Suddenly feelings emotional, he sits up on the bed before reaching for something in the bedside drawer.

You're a light sleeper, especially when you're by yourself. The only time you really fall into deep sleep is when Jaehyun's with you. That's why when you hear some ruckus from Jaehyun's side, you wake up from your slumber

"Jae? You're home?" you mumble, your eyes still closed

"Did I wake you? Sorry, baby. Go back to sleep, I'm here" he whispers. He pulls you towards him, resting your head on his chest. You cuddle him more, making yourself comfortable again.

You listen to his heartbeat to lull yourself back to sleep when you feel him take your hand that was resting on him, he puts something on you before you feel his lips kiss your knuckles.

"What are you doing?" you mumble, opening one eye to peak at your hand only to see a ring that definitely wasn't there before you slept.

You open both eyes this time, sitting up to look at it then at Jaehyun

"Explain" you tell him, gesturing at your hand

"It's a promise ring, remember you used to wear one before we started dating. It took sometime but I finally replaced that one, I didn't want to freak you out on our first anniversary so I waited until now" he explains

"Is this real or am I dreaming?" you ask him

Jaehyun chuckles before sitting up, now face to face with you. He takes your cheeks in his hands before pulling you towards him for a kiss

"This is very very real, my love"

"It's so pretty" you pout at the ring, a simple band with a diamond on it. Like a leveled up version of the one you used to wear

"I'm glad you like it even though I kinda ruined the surprise" he tells you

"I thought it was an engagement ring, not gonna lie"

He kisses you one more time before he pulls you down, settling you on his chest once again. "We'll get there one day. This time I'll make sure it's a surprise"

"But I am surprised, I love this surprise"

"And I love you, that ring is a promise to keep my promise of forever with you. One day we'll get there, one day I'll watch you walk down the aisle to me" he mumbles against your forehead, sealing it with a kiss after

"I'd love that, and I love you too"

"Let's go to sleep now, dream of me okay?"

[pennylanefics]

Skate Day Gone Wrong - Matthew Tkachuk

a/n: this was a cute little idea i had a while ago when i first started getting hockey content on tiktok :) it took me longer than i expected with everything going on, but i think it turned out cute!

warnings: mentions of hospitals, beginning of a panic attack (briefly mentioned, not too descriptive)

summary: matt begs you to go skating with him but it takes a turn for the worst when you end up falling down on the ice

word count: ~4.6k

“Come on, it’ll be so much fun!” Matthew begs you, grabbing your hands and squeezing them gently. A sigh passes your lips and your eyes fall to your entwined hands, a small grin stretching on your face as you realize he’s been rubbing his thumb back and forth against the back of your hand.

“You know I’m not as graceful, baby. It’ll be a disaster.” He pulls the puppy-dog eyes as soon as you finish your sentence. But it wasn’t going to get by you this time.

Matt was trying to get you to go skating with him at the local ice rink. He wanted, and he deserved, a break from hockey, but he couldn’t stay away from the ice and exercise in some capacity. But since the start of your relationship, you were very clear with him that you were like a newborn deer in ice skates.

“It’ll be a nice little date! I’ll hold onto you the entire time, you never have to let go of my hand, I won’t let you fall, I promise. You have my word,” he holds out his pinky to seal his words. You sigh once more, finally looking up into bright blue eyes, filled with hope and excitement. That alone was enough for you to change your mind.

“Okay,” you finally agree, and within a second, Matt celebrates by tackling you in a hug, your laughter mixing together to fill the otherwise silent bedroom of his.

“Yay!! This is going to be so much fun, I have been wanting to get you on the ice with me for the longest time,” he admits, pressing kisses all over your face, eliciting more giggles from you. 

“I know you have, but I went once when I was younger and couldn’t find my balance, I ended up falling pretty hard. My cousins made fun of me for it and everything, so it’s something I avoided.” Matt coos softly and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear so tenderly.

“Well, I won’t do that, and like I said, I won’t even let you fall. Not gonna happen on my watch, darling.” He kisses you a couple times, his hand remaining on your cheek, sending warmth through your body. 

“I fucking hope. Otherwise you’ll be taking care of me the entire time.” He chuckles quietly and crawls into bed with you, wraping his arms around you instantly, and you instinctively curl into his soft, warm chest.

“Not sure how I’ll be able to with the upcoming road trip we have,” he replies.

“Then you better keep that promise of yours, Chucky.”

The following day, Matthew was up bright and early, preparing breakfast for the both of you and getting everything he needed ready to head to the rink. He planned on just taking his skates and wearing a simple pair of jeans and a black sweatshirt, no gear or anything was needed, really; he wasn’t needing to do any drills or practice anything anyways.

“Morning, sweetheart,” he greets you with a kiss on your forehead and then your cheek. Groaning, you shield your eyes from the blinding sun slicing through the curtains. Matt always loved this time of day, being a morning person, he was able to admire your beauty as you slept, like an angel in his eyes, glowing in the golden, natural light.

“Too early,” you grumble, causing him to laugh softly. To add to the dramatics, you grab the comforter and pull it up over your head, not wanting to leave the comfort and warmth of his bed just yet. One of your favorite places was being in his bed, enveloped in the smell of him, from both his cologne and his body wash. 

“Hey, you agreed to this, we go early and then grab some lunch at your favorite restaurant,” he reminds you, removing the cover from your head. You squint your eyes and stare up at him, finding a sly grin on his face. “Come on, I made your favorite.”

After five more minutes of Matthew playing with your hair and trying to coax you out of bed, you finally get up and head downstairs, where he had everything plated and prepared for you. He made chocolate chip pancakes with turkey bacon, fresh fruit, and scrambled eggs with cheese. You were so glad that Matt loved to cook, otherwise you’d just be having a simple granola bar instead of a nice, cooked meal.

“Alright, I have everything packed and ready to go, so if you want to go get dressed while I put everything away and wash the dishes,” Matt says, taking your empty plate and setting it in the sink with his.

Once you were dressed in a sweater and jeans, all your usual jewelry on, and perfume sprayed a few times, you join your boyfriend in the living room, where he sat scrolling through his phone. Hearing your footsteps, his head pops up and a huge smile spreads across his lips as he jumps to stand.

“Ready?” His hand reaches for yours and you follow him out to his car. While you were getting dressed, he took time to put his duffle bag in the backseat, so you could just get up and go when you were done.

The drive consisted of soft music from your shared playlist, and Matt’s hand in yours, gently stroking the back of it like he did this morning, and like he always does when you two hold hands. It was a rather gloomy February day in Florida, and despite others hating it, you loved it; cloudy weather was so comforting, when it didn’t mean tornadoes and severe weather.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too crowded at the rink, considering it was a weekday at ten in the morning, it was the perfect slot to spend time with Matt and also not make a fool of yourself completely if you were to have an accident.

Once your skates were rented, Matt helped you lace them up, talking you through it all since he could tell your nerves were starting to kick in.

“They have to be laced pretty tight, and figure skating ones are different from mine, but they kinda work the same. So…” his voice tapers off as he finishes tying them, “that should be good. Do they feel alright? Not too tight to the point where you can’t feel your shin?”

His hands take ahold of yours as he helps you stand and walk along the padded area to get a feel for them. He already had such a wide smile on his face because he was so happy that you were finally going to share the space he loved being at the most, aside from being with you, of course.

“Yeah, I think they’re good,” you let him know, heading back over to the bench you were sat on. He finishes tying his own skates, something he has mastered to do quickly at this point in his life, and before you know it, he is walking you over to the entrance to the ice.

Immediately, you freeze, but Matt steps onto the ice like it’s no issue.

“Remember what I promised you, baby?” He raises his eyebrows in concern. Fear was very evident in your eyes, and as much as he wanted you to skate at least one time around with him, he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries or push you too far. “Hey…it’s gonna be okay. Why don’t you sit down for a little while more?” 

He guides you to a nearby bench and stands behind you, giving your shoulders a small, comforting massage. Leaning down, he kisses your cheek swiftly and then comes around to sit beside you.

“We can sit here for as long as you want until you are ready, if you are,” he reassures you. “We don’t even have to do this today. You coming with me has been enough.”

His sweet sounding voice calms your anxiety almost instantly, something you noticed over the months as your relationship progressed. He always knew the right thing to say, as well as the tone to use in moments where you needed it most.

After a few more minutes of sitting there staring at the ice, you inhale and exhale deeply, turning your head to Matt, who raises his eyebrows in curiosity, his bright eyes filled with concern and worry.

“I’m ready,” you grin, trying to convince him that you’ll be okay. “I just have to do it scared.”

He sighs and shakes his head, reaching for your hands to squeeze them comfortingly.

“Honey, don’t say that. We really don’t have to do this, I can see how scared it’s making you.”

“No, let’s go. I really am ready.” He pauses for a moment just to make sure you are serious, and when you try to stand, he follows you and brings you back over to the entrance of the rink.

He steps onto the ice and holds his hands out for you, his own heart racing with anxiety. He was a pro, but he didn’t know if he’d be the best at assisting, even though he made numerous promises.

“It’ll be okay, honey. Just grab my hand and I’ll keep you balanced.”

With a small step onto the ledge, you step with your other foot onto the ice, your heart pounding in your chest and your body cold from fear.

“It’s alright, darling. That’s it. Now, you want to kick off with one foot and lead with the other. Can you try that?”

Taking his advice, you move as if you’re trying to walk like normal, but obviously that doesn’t work out too well. But he was calm and patient with you.

“No, not quite. Here, hold onto the wall for a moment and I’ll show you.”

Clutching onto the wall like your life depended on it, he takes a moment to skate in front of you very effortlessly, not at all surprising considering skating is like second nature to him.

He comes back around and smiles widely, stopping just a few feet in front of you. You stare at him blankly, as if to say “are you fucking serious?”

“Come on, try it,” he pushes, reaching back out for your hands to coax you from the wall. Bracing yourself, you gently nudge yourself from the wall and follow him, attempting to copy his movements.

“There you go! You so got this,” he beams with pride.

Still, you stumble here and there but his strong grip keeps you standing. Before you know it, you realize that you made an entire lap around the rink. Just to be safe, Matt steps off the ice and wrap you up in a celebratory hug

“You did it! I’m so proud of you, baby!” He plants soft kisses all over your face, eliciting a giggle from you.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s because you were basically pulling me.”

“It was all you, believe me. I was there for guidance only. Wanna go around again?” This time, you nod eagerly and put one foot back on the ice, allowing him to get his footing first before you place your other down.

Just like before, although you were starting to get the hang of it, you stride along as gracefully as you can, following behind your lover, who easily skates backwards, keeping his eyes on you the entire time.

“And you said you were like a newborn deer. You are far from it,” he jokes, speeding up just a little bit. Laughing, you squeeze his hands to silently let him know to slow down some, which he understands and pauses for a moment, slowing you to crash into his chest.

He wraps his arms tightly around you to keep you upright, pressing a single, sweet kiss to your lips, keeping his forehead on yours after.

“I love you,” he whispers, his eyes filled with love and adoration. “And I’m very glad you decided to do this today. I’ve had so much fun and it’s been so nice being able to do this together.”

“I’ve had a lot of fun as well. It’s not as bad as I remember it.”

“Because you’re here with me,” he winks slyly, giggling when you hit him in the shoulder playfully

“You might be right, baby.”

There’s a pause as you both just stand there, holding each other and enjoying the other’s presence. A few people populated the ice, but they stayed near the middle, chatting and taking their time practicing some figure skating tricks. You and Matt were pretty much alone, it felt like in this moment.

“Wanna try skating on your own, hm?” He asks in a hushed voice. “I’ll still be right there with you, just not holding you.”

Thinking over it for a moment, he waits for your answer, and is very surprised when you nod in agreement, his eyes widening in shock and curiosity.

“Wait really??” He had to double check to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him.

Soon, you were standing in front of him, your legs even with your shoulders, hands still in Matt’s for now.

“Okay, remember, push off and keep your skates close to the ice. Let me know when to let go and I will.”

Taking a deep breath, you look down at the ice beneath your feet and focus hard. He starts staking backwards, building up some speed and momentum for you, whenever you were ready.

“Okay, I think I’m good,” you tell him, slowly releasing the tight grip you have on his hands.

“Nice job, baby! Move that left foot a little smoother!” You try to do as he says, but the farther he gets from you, the more worried you grow. He was still within reach, but only if he happened to slow down.

Suddenly, you feel your balance start to wobble, and your knees shake ever so slightly. You could feel yourself losing your balance as your momentum eases.

“Matt,” you call out, your voice shaking just like your legs.

“You’re doing good, don’t think about it too hard.” He was no help, seeming so far away, too far for your comfort.

But it was too late.

Your foot catches beneath you and slips, and within seconds, you were falling to the ground. Matt’s voice filled your ringing ears, but you couldn’t make out a word he said. All you felt was pain.

“Hey, hey! Look at me,” he cradles your cheek, moving you as gently as ever to sit up from where you fell on your arm.

Wincing, you attempt to scoot a little, but with your right hand cradling your arm against your chest, that proved to be difficult.

“I can’t move my arm,” you tell him, tears beginning to spill over your eyes and down your cheeks. Matt grew more and more concerned as time went by, not knowing how serious of a situation this was just yet.

“Did you land on it? Where does it hurt the most?” Bringing your wrist in front of you, you show him and lightly touch the area, but even that’s too much of a sensation.

“No, no, it hurts so bad,” you cry into his chest. His eyes were wide with fear and pain of his own, knowing that the person he loves the most is hurt, and because of him? That makes it so much worse.

While you continue to cry into his shoulder, Matt waves over the person watching over the rink, making sure that if someone did get hurt they’d be assisted to as soon as possible. And not even a few seconds after Matt signals this, a medic is rushing over, ready to help in any way he can.

“Come on, we’re gonna stand up, alright?” Matt whispers in your ear, trying to remain as calm as he can. He holds your right arm tightly, the medic helping by holding your skates to secure your balance.

It took a bit, but they finally get you standing up, but Matt being Matt, decided to carry you off the ice, even though it was a short length; he wasn’t taking any more risks.

He sits you down on the closest bench and the medic comes over to assess your injury. Matt held your right hand the entire time as a way to comfort you, kissing the back of it every now and then.

“Take deep breaths, baby girl. That’s it,” he whispers, taking some of his own to help ground you and soothe your anxiety.

“You should head to the hospital. It appears to be broken, but I can’t confirm that without an x-ray. You can’t move it, it’s tender to the touch, something is definitely wrong.”

Your heart sinks to your stomach and your eyes drift to Matt. He nods in agreement, lips tightly pressed together, seemingly attempting to keep himself from crying. He thanks the medic, who gathers his things before heading off.

“Let’s go,” he mumbles, beginning to take your skates off for you, and then following with removing his own. He doesn’t say much the entire time, mainly because he doesn’t know what to say. This was his fault, you got hurt on his watch, and he was beating himself up over it silently, but you had an idea of what was going through his mind.

Matt helps you to the car but before he gets into the driver’s seat after shutting your door, he crouches down and takes a few deep breaths, feeling his anxiety rising and the start of an attack; thankfully, it goes away and a minute later, he hops in the driver’s seat and drives off in the direction of the nearest hospital.

A few hours spent there, in the very quiet emergency room that smelled so strongly of cleaning products, it was confirmed that you broke a bone on the outer part of your wrist, as well as a small bone in your thumb joint.

Four hours later, the two of you are walking into Matthew’s home, a light blue cast on your wrist, exhausted and desperately wanting pain medication. Matt drops his duffle bag with his skates on the ground, no intention of putting it away anytime soon.

Not many words are spoken between the two of you, and Matt heads to the bathroom to get you some ibuprofen and water. He returns and finds you curled up on the couch, scrolling through to try and find a movie or show to watch. 

He kisses your forehead and also gets an ice pack for you from the freezer, and once he situates it on your cast, he heads upstairs to his bathroom, taking his time to shower and get dressed in comfy clothes. Realizing you had yet to eat anything but a small bag of chips, he quickly orders your favorite takeout from his phone to be delivered within the next twenty minutes.

Matt felt awful. He didn’t want to go downstairs and face you, this was his fault. He wasn’t able to keep you safe and unharmed, and he was terrified of what you were going to say to him now that you are in the comfort of his home.

But, he knew he had to face the issue and go down there to hold you in his arms, to care for you now that you’ve gotten hurt.

He takes a torn, old shirt of his and a pair of sweats before heading back downstairs. There, he finds you half asleep, watching an episode of Catfish, though he could tell you were barely paying attention.

“How are you feeling?” He finally speaks, coming to sit next to you. Your head lifts up and you smile at him.

“The medicine kicked in a little bit ago so it’s not terrible. I’m just tired.” A sigh passes his lips and he so desperately wants to reach for your hand, but he doesn’t.

“I know, baby. We’re gonna take the rest of the night slow. I ordered some food so you’ll be able to eat. I can help you shower if you want to, all we have to do is wrap a plastic bag around your hand. I’ll take care of everything.”

His voice held so much hurt and regret. Sighing yourself, you grab his hand with your right hand and squeeze it softly, letting him know you are fine.

“Matt, it’ll be okay. I know you’re beating yourself up over this, but I need you to understand that it’s not your fault.”

“It is. I forced you onto the ice when you didn’t want to go.”

“I distinctly remember agreeing to go because I wanted to do that with you, Matthew. I wanted to skate with you, I wanted to try it on my own, and it’s not like you shoved me to the ground or tripped me. I was my clumsy self and lost my footing.”

“But I should have listened to you when you told me you weren’t that good on the ice.”

“I was until I wasn’t. And that’s not your fault.” Matt’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, but you brush it off. “Overall, I’m not upset with you, I don’t regret going, and I sure as hell won’t hold this against you. Accidents happen, baby, and that’s okay.”

Matt listens to your words and finally nods. He brings your entwined hands up to his lips and presses a gentle kiss to your own.

“I love you,” he whispers, staring down into your eyes. “I love you so much, you have no idea.” Chuckling softly, you lean over and kiss him, finally feeling able to get up and move around a bit.

“I love you too, honey. Always will.”

After devouring the takeout food Matt ordered and icing your cast once more, Matt brings you upstairs, two plastic bags and a couple hair ties in his hands. With ease, he wraps your cast in the bags, securing it with the hair ties. He was tender and sweet as he helped you shower, planting kisses on your cheek or your bare shoulder every now and then, taking matters into his own hands and washing your hair and body for you.

Drying off and making sure you were comfortable in the clothes he picked out, you both head back to the couch and curl up, Matt getting another ice pack for you as the pain meds start to wear off a little. He kept them nearby on the coffee table just in case.

You had picked out a movie to watch just as rain had started falling on the house, a calming sound to ease your mind. Matt had you tucked into his left side, your cast-ridden hand laying on his stomach. The moment you took the ice pack off, Matt brings your hand up to his face and starts kissing your exposed fingers, one by one  on the knuckle.

He then gently rubs his thumb over the cast, his eyes filled with a somber look as he assesses the damage he still feels like he caused. You could tell that’s where his mind was going, so you pull your hand away and reach up to turn his face towards you.

“Hey, stop that,” you whisper, kissing his jaw.

“I feel terrible,” he whispers, his voice cracking as he tries to keep the tears in. You move to sit up and fully cradle his face in your hands.

“Listen to me, baby. I will be okay. A broken wrist will heal, I don’t need surgery to reconstruct anything, just this for six weeks and then a brace. I don’t need physical therapy to learn how to use it again, it will be alright. Things happen. I really don’t want you taking all the blame and the guilt for this when it’s not your fault. Yeah, you got me out on the ice, but it was me who slipped and it was me who tried to catch myself.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t let you go,” he mutters, and you realize that there’s no way of getting through to him. So, you roll your eyes and lay back against his chest.

“Okay, Matthew,” you grumble, not really in the mood to fight or argue if he wasn’t going to listen. This seemed to strike Matt in a way that filled him with regret, because then he was sighing and shaking his head. 

“You’re right,” he whispers. “I’m…I feel terrible about it, but you are right. It wasn’t all on me, I tried my best to help you, but accidents do happen, and I understand that. It was my idea and that’s why it’s affecting me so bad.”

A few stray tears fall down his cheeks but you are quick to wipe them away.

“I understand, honey. But you wanted to share something you love with me, and I wanted to share it with you as well. If it wasn’t you, and it was my friends trying to get me to go, I would have refused. But I know how important hockey is to you and being on the ice in general. I wanted to try this with you. Remember what I said earlier?”

He nods, recalling back to how you reassured him everything was okay between the two of you, and you had no hard feelings for him regarding this.

“I meant every word before, and I still do. I’ll survive, it’s just a little bump in the road.”

Your second talk of the day seemed to have calmed him down much more, and you were thankful for that. So, you settle back down in his arms, his left hand rubbing up and down your back.

“Can I be the first one to sign your cast?” He asks after a little while of comfortable silence, watching the movie. You giggle and look up at him, wondering if he was being serious or not.

“Go get a sharpie,” you move away from him. Within a minute, he returns from his office with a sharpie he uses to sign memorabilia that the team and other companies send him, plopping down beside you. He carefully holds your cast in his hand and searches around for the perfect spot. He ends up writing right below your knuckles, and horizontal on the section on your forearm.

The forearm spot read “i love you - matty” with a little heart beside it, and the spot underneath your knuckles read “i’m sorry :(”. You laugh at his enthusiastic mood before he hands you the sharpie. You draw some random shapes along it in random spots, just to fill it in a little.

“You know everyone on the team is gonna want to sign it,” Matt says, pulling you back into his chest.

“I’m not sure there’s enough room,” you say, examining the amount of space of the medium-sized cast; it covered your fingers all the way up to the second set of knuckles, and ended ¾ of the way to your elbow. Your thumb was separated to keep it structured as well, but it was quiet comfortable. And an easy way for Matt to hold your hand.

“You could always break another bone to give them more room,” he jokes. And this time, it wasn’t a self-deprecating joke about how he was responsible for the break, you could tell just by the tone of his voice, it was light and airy, hinting at the fact he was trying to lighten the mood.

“Maybe I’ll break my leg skiing, then they’ll have a field day.” Matt can’t contain his laughter, his head thrown back and eyes fluttering shut.

“Oh, please don’t let that happen. One cast is enough for now, baby girl.”

[ashfrommars4]

At least we’re together<3

CW: Wanderer x reader, slightly angsty, not proofread

Sitting by the shore in Sumeru, not far from Port Ormos, was Y/n and Wanderer. A bottle of cheap alcohol sat between their legs. Y/n rested their head on Wanderer’s shoulder, occasionally taking a sip of alcohol while they stared straight ahead.

Wanderer had lived many lives, lost a lot of people, ended many more. There was always an emptiness in his chest, one he was convinced would be filled if he had a gnosis to store, a country to lead. Throughout all his lives, all the different names he adopted, that void feeling grew. It grew when he went was given his friend’s heart, it grew when he set his home ablaze, it grew when he joined the Fatui.

That feeling decreased drastically when he finally got his hands on the gnosis, when he finally gained a follower, when he finally became a god. The euphoric feeling of having a heart quickly diminished as the gnosis was taken from him.

Now he lives life without a gnosis for a heart, but a vision instead. Sometimes he still subconsciously yearns for the gnosis. It’s a feeling he can only hope will go away with time.

Maybe he’ll get better.

Y/n was in no better state. Hopefully to one day completely fill that void. A feeling they’ve had for as long as they could remember. As they grew, so did that empty, gnawing feeling. Constantly in the back of their mind. At some point, though, that feeling started to become less relevant. As Y/n started to build their life, find their own happiness.

“Here,” Y/n said as they help the bottle to Wanderer’s pink lips. He took the bottle, taking a swig of it even though he knew it would have no effect on him. Y/n moved impossibly closer, watching Wanderer interlock their hands, a rare moment of affection from him. “It tastes like shit.” He says, placing the bottle down with his free hand and leaning his head on Y/n’s. “Yeah, it does.”

Both took in the view, each other’s presence. Wanderer closed his eyes for a moment, letting the entirety of Y/n’s presence consume him. A small pink hue dusted his cheeks as he felt her squeeze his hand softly. He knew, in that moment, that he’d rather be in this losing battle against himself with them than anyone else.

“We’re cooked,” Y/n said lightheartedly. “But, I’m glad we’re together.” He scoffed at their words, ignoring the fluttering feeling that spread all over his body. “Yeah, I guess so.”

This was inspired by this tiktok and I really like the idea of ‘doomed but we’re not alone’ ykwim. Also sorry if this was all over the place, I’m trying to get back into writing :3

[arthyghost]

You managed to escape.

reader x john price

angst, little comfort

Hell? You're sure you know this place very well.

Three years.

Three years that you don’t remember what the sun feels like on your skin;

Three years that everything you loved was taken away from you;

Three years that you no longer know what peace is;

Three fucking years, that looked more like thirty. That looked more like an eternity, that looked more like a vision of hell.

But there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, and your light was when a new recruit made the mistake of feeling mobilized by you; the mistake of letting you feel the sun on your skin, the mistake of looking away from you for five seconds.

You thought you knew what it felt like to have the air taken out of your lungs, but nothing would compare to the feeling you felt when you ran from that van. Nothing would compare to the pain you were feeling in your throat, feeling the cold air by the adrenaline of running with all the force that was still in your body.

When you heard that you were in the city where your base used to be, you knew that would be your only chance. You knew if you didn’t try to run away at that moment, you’d never get a chance to see your friends again. Your family. Him.

So when the rookie let you out just to feel the sun on your skin after you said you hadn’t felt it in years, you ran. You ran through the streets like there was no tomorrow, and you honestly don’t know how he didn’t catch you; maybe he let you get away. The rookie. You secretly hope he’s okay.

You ran through the streets known to you, in the bright sunlight, feeling the tears coming down your cheeks for finally feeling freedom. For finally feeling the warm sun on your skin. Your feet ache with the warm asphalt, without being protected by any kind of footwear.

You turned street by street, sneaking into alleys that you knew were shortcuts, and finally you were there. You didn’t go to base. No, no, no; it was the most likely place for them to look for you, the streets on the way to the base were the first streets they would look for, and you didn’t want to risk it. You didn’t want to feel all that torture for years again.

So, you stopped in front of his door. You dreamed of that day for all the three years that you stayed in hell, but now... Your mind is spinning.

"Will he recognize me?"

"Does he still remember me?"

"What if he’s already moved on?"

Your crying was stuck in your throat, and you were trying to breathe firmly so you wouldn’t start hyperventilating. You knew if you thought more you’d just surrender to them again, then you just knocked on the door. You hit one, two, three times until your beats start to be desperate. You were afraid they’d come back.

Your mind was confused, you would easily surrender to them again if he did not recognize you, but you were so afraid of them finding you.

As millions of thoughts pass through your mind, thoughts you didn’t know how to block, the door is opened.

The door is open and the only thing that predominates now is silence.

You stare at him, downcast. It seems he hasn’t slept in days, he had lost weight, and it looks like he was crying. The beard has grown, the hair is a mess.

Your situation is not much better and you know it. Your long hair that had not been properly washed for years, your loose clothes, which were clearly not your own, stained with blood; your blood. Your face was thin, dirty with dried blood and full of scars. Your dark circles were so deep that your face seemed deeper.

"Hey." you whisper, in an almost inaudible voice, looking at him.

Your voice is sore, and his eyes are full of tears. Yours too.

You finally made it. You made it back home, back to your home.

He is your home, and you have finally returned to him.

i already posted this on tiktok, but i wanted to keep it here too. so that's it: just pain and pain and maybe some comfort. ^^

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

Xander and Gigi head cannons pls?

of course<3. they will literally be the best duo imaginable. i can feel it. not proof read so i apologize if anything doesn't make sense. hope you like them <3. @catapparently helped a bit with this one.

they will literally prank everyone all the damn time. they have a white board filled with prank ideas. (they once replaced jamie's alcohol with disgusting juice mixes they made. jamie ended up barfing for an entire day)

gigi is into robotics and stuff but doesn't know much about it. xander will sit with her for hours a day trying to explain everything to her.

they love playing twister for some odd reason. they're always trying to beat each other's scores.

xander is one of the only people (if not the only person) who gives her coffee voluntarily.

gigi loves lemon flavored scones and xander loves the blueberry ones, so they're always debating and fighting over who is right. (their debates get so intense. once, xander ended up in the pool naked (don't ask me how))

they comment on each other's posts saying things like "omg slay girl boss you ate that up" and stuff like that

when they gossip, they literally hold nothing back. gigi will be talking about a hookup (if she has any), and she'll be like 'and then he pulled out and he said "*****" to me whilst touching my **** and i literally almost came'. xander just sits there half traumatized and half really invested.

gigi writes fanfic on ao3 and will dedicate her fics to xander

speaking of fanfics, xander is also her beta reader sometimes

they cause arguments wherever they go. they'll be having dinner with skye, zara, and the others, and they'll purposely say smth like "omg did you hear that skye hooked up with zara's husband". everyone starts screaming, and they just sit in the back eating popcorn

they listen to cupcakke (the girl with the really dirty songs) together and scream the lyrics.

gigi once walked in on xander getting dressed (he was completely naked). she was so shocked she couldn't move, and xander just stood there staring at her. gigi managed to walk away (disgusted bc she just saw one of her closest friends naked), and xander was blushing profusely cause he was embarrassed.

they have the weirdest nicknames for each other. they call each other things like 'my little sugar plum sprinkled with pickles' or stuff like that.

xander flirts with gigi around grayson just to piss him off and gigi does the same (grayson gets weirded out cause although xander and gigi aren't related, he's related to both of them)

when they facetime, they literally bring each other everywhere. xander will literally go to the toilet with her on the phone. they have no shame.

they have an insta account together where they post the craziest shit ever (they sort of post videos like the sturniolo triplets. i don't watch them, but from what i've seen they remind me of gigi and xander)

xander and gigi make edits of gigi's cats and post them on tiktok.

they both decided to get a helix piercing. (they have matching earrings).

xander and gigi go to sex shops and laugh at the toys. they'll see lingerie or smth and gigi will go 'it's so coquette it turns me off'

gigi and xander cannot spell properly when they text. they'll be trying to say 'yoo wanna come over for a sleepover' but it comes out as 'yu wsna cime ocer for a skeepkowr' or smth like that

they were once at the park pushing each other down slides, but gigi pushed xander too hard and he fell face first into the grass.

after this event, she changed his contact name to 'grass eating cow'

gigi is a little too comfortable around xander. she asks him things like 'do you think one of my boobs is bigger than the other' or 'do you think my ass is slapable'. xander usually just stays quiet unless gigi insists he responds, and then he panics and says something random.

they go to stores to just touch all of the blankets until they find the softest ones, and then they buy them. in their opinion, you will not get a good night's sleep if you don't have a good blanket.

they get really cold easily so they're always huddled up together in a corner.

gigi is the grumpiest person you could ever imagine when she's on her period. xander runs around getting her everything she asks for when she has cramps and stuff freaking out because he doesn't want her to kill him.

gigi and xander vent to each other a lot. they're really similar and so they get each other like no one else does. they cry in each others arms regularly but always end up laughing bc some of their problems are just so stupid.

gigi helps him draw his missing eyebrow back on for events with an eyebrow pencil. she's gotten quite good at it.

at the end of the year, they organize this event where they talk about their fav fanfics and crown one as their absolute fav (they have different categories like smut, romance, au, etc)

for halloween one year, gigi dressed up as a dildo and xander as a pocket p*ssy (gigi dared him to)...

(don't mind that last one, my sister dared me to add it)

[automnelog]

people who do not know how to process their own emotions and the emotions of others, will interpret you expressing your emotions as “drama”

[hella1975]

me and my (also bi) flatmate were talking about date guy last week and out of nowhere she goes 'if you get a boyfriend im gonna be so annoyed we haven't even done anything gay together yet' and like i laughed it off but i keep remembering it bc we dont have a flirty friendship AT ALL like even in the moment it came WAY out of left field and im just here like hold on was gay shit ON THE TABLE??? NO ONE TOLD ME

[damondays]

Damon in recent interviews really just like-

"BoD is a breakup album, sort of same as 13, it's very personal and reflects recent experiences such as moving into a basement flat before I moved out of London altogether - as well as spending Christmas alone. The lyrics just reflects a current period in my sad life"

"So have you recently gone through a breakup?"

"The album can really be about a lot of universal things"

[aaghht]

on one hand, western tankies on tiktok being so happy about waving around the communist is just something I can close down as an app, I don't look at it most times and I don't have to force myself to wade thru it all

but the fact that a community continues to exist who are misled to believe that USSR communism = somehow good... it's upsetting still as an estonian person. who use the hammer and sickle as if it's some icon of freedom against capitalism. who will believe any video telling them usa bad, therefore russia/communism good - is right, without delving into specifics.

you have got to look at sources outside of western or russian ones. stop using it as a glib aesthetic to build your internet persona on. there's a lot more nuance there in the collective histories of all the countries who suffered under USSR communist rule. read any of it, try to come to your own conclusions. don't just sweep eastern european people's pain under the rug for your own benefit.

you can call yourself a socialist even, it's okay. join your former eastern bloc socialists and fight against both capitalism, communism and the imperialist systems that created them.

and for the love of good, stop giving russia the benefit of doubt about ukraine. they have proven again and again that they only care about winning, getting pieces of ukraine and causing the war to get worse. it's only going to get worse the more it is stalled. disbelief of ukrainian survivors is not helping

[aemiron-main]

many thoughts today and i promise this is not a vague about anything recent at all its literally just me thinking about things today but hot take: things that make you personally uncomfortable or are a personal boundary or trigger for you are not the same as something that is inherently immoral or harmful or shouldn’t be spoken about. sometimes these things overlap. sometimes they don’t. if something being spoken about or the way it’s spoken about makes you uncomfortable, that doesn’t automatically mean that it’s inherently harmful to speak about those things, or speak about those things in that way. sometimes it does! again, sometimes that overlap is there, but not always, and often, it isn’t there.

for example: not all discussion of disordered eating that isn't  “doom and gloom this is a completely serious topic that must be approached in a serious way at all times,” is inherently harmful, nor is it inherently romanticization. for me, getting away from that doom and gloom inherently serious approach was integral for me to be able to overcome it. i’m not saying that these topics should never be approached in that serious way, but rather, that it shouldn’t be forced to solely be approached in that way. and there is a huge difference between approaching something in a more lighthearted way versus active romanticization (hell imo  the solely doom and gloom approach feeds genuine romanticization and fuels the disordered mindset more than anything else ever could but thats a topic for another post).

im gonna make a full huge post abt this topic specifically AND the ways in which mental health discussions in general are often stigmatized and framed as inherently, wholly immoral/inherently harmful/inherently romanticization due to PERSONAL discomfort but these are just some thoughts for rn. 

if everywhere you go smells like dog shit, check under your own shoe. if every post about disordered eating or mental health issues or suicidality that you encounter/makes you uncomfortable comes across as romanticization to you, then maybe you’re the one romanticizing it. maybe you’re not as past your issues as you think you are. or maybe you just don’t understand what romanticization is and thats fine!! and maybe it is romanticization sometimes and you’re right!! but if it’s every single time something doesn’t align with you/makes you uncomfortable? avoid what you need to avoid! but don’t project those things onto other people and try to dictate their behaviour/the way that they discuss topics unless actual harm can be demonstrated, and even then, if something is harming your mindset personally or triggering you personally, that’s still on YOU to avoid and address and deal with, and is different from tangible harm as a whole. you needing to avoid something is not the same as that thing needing to stop existing. the call is coming from inside the house, quit accusing other people of calling you. 

[lazarus---rising]

earlier on the bus the guy next to me had his phone on like almost fucking full volume on tiktok and like how does anyone tolerate that app . the iphone alarm sound is more pleasant i swear to god

[vimbry]

you ever see posts that are like, "hey this place doesn't function like many other socials. content will only get shared around by reblogging it, so if you like something, keep that in mind! consider leaving feedback more often too! don't forget to appreciate artists!" and you're like yeees.

but then either that post, or the comments after, descend into, "you should be grateful for fandom creators! reblog everything you see! don't like! they put so much hard work into everything they make for free! you're a consumer and you owe them your attention! it's free! they do it for free!" and you're like noooo oo o.

[acaiyatree]

yes i like [insert sonic ship here], yes i'm very picky about it so most of the time i don't see content that i don't like

[cruelsister-moved2]

something I want to thank you for is when some months ago you posted something like we don't need to analyze our lack of attraction towards men and this ask was prompted by your recent post as well. Last year emotionally was the worst for me, I was really depressed. All because I was so hang up on trying to figure out if I liked men, I had always this "what if" in my mind. So I had a coworker who asked me out and I said yes, we exchanged numbers and everything. But then the realization that the point of this was to have like frequent conversation going on and then maybe it could lead to being physical sent me into a spiral, literally lost my appetite trouble sleeping crying randomly etc kinda extreme reaction. I sent him a message saying we won't meet anymore. I always had this reaction starting in high school whenever a guy showed interest on me, hypothetical scenario of being in a relationship with a man made me feel sick. But I always excused those feelings with "maybe he's not the right person, I will meet a guy I'm comfortably with". But anyways, all of that has been dealt with. It was so eye opening that I don't need to understand my lack of attraction to men and just focus on what makes me happy and that is not being with men. The other side of this is feeling I wasn't a lesbian because I felt nothing seeing feminine women. But when I saw a butch or masc women I knew I was like instant "heart eyes"!!. So that's the feeling I'm going to hold on to now. <3<3<3

oh wow thank u anon this breaks my heart to know u went through smth like this but i'm also so happy you're in a better place now! it's so frustrating bc dating men is really just the default setting for women and ppl dont know how to question that... it's also so true when ur not really into fem women it becomes harder bc you feel like it has to be comparative & so even if ur aware that dating men isn't right for u, u feel like u Have to because you don't find anything else more attractive. literally like dating men is a PE class and u need a note from the lesbian council to get out of it....

That's one reason why im so keen to insist that regardless of sexuality, you think abt dating men in its own right & decide if you actually want that. There are so many people for whom discovering their attraction to women is a significant years-long process, and most of them spend that time in unnecessary confusion and distress bc they're also trying to hyper-analyse their discomfort towards men at the same time. But also honestly I think there are fully heterosexual women who are also just dating men.. for the sake of it and getting no joy from it & potentially getting a lot of pain too. I almost feel worst for those ppl, bc the way out for a lot of us is we start dating women and realise from how different it is that dating men wasn't right for us. but every time a straight woman is like "I wish I was a lesbian" they usually mean "I wish I was Allowed to not date men".

it also comes down to the essentialisation of labels, so we feel like you intrinsically Are something on the inside and that messes with how we look at attraction, esp as women. it's actually so much less complicated when you just think about what you want from life, and if your experiences end up fitting into a pattern you can apply a label to it. like i think there's also a lot of bi women, and a lot of women who constantly torture themselves and flip btwn the labels lesbian and bi, because they KNOW with certainty that they like women, but they can't figure out if their tangle of messy, traumatised, ingrained feelings towards men constitute Desire or not & it breaks my heart because................ it literally doesn't matter. you are literally free to do whatever you want. it does not matter what exactly u feel towards men, let alone WHY, it just matters what u want to do n who u want to be with.