#i wish you only the best things in life

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Hey JJ,

All ur followers ❤️ U. Are you doing well ? Nevermind the fanfic fantasy land. Are u happy ?

Okay, wait, no, this is the sweetest thing in the entire universe. Give me a second to compose myself b/c you got me hysterically sobbing and feeling things.

That is SO sweet of you to say, and SO sweet of you to ask. [and i love all of you as well so]

I am doing my best! I am trying to be well and trying to take the time for myself. Currently, I am experiencing some really bad burn out in my career which has made life tough to say the least. However, this last week I got to spend time with some friends and relax. Today, I'll spend all day out by the hotel pool soaking up vitamin D and just reading for pleasure for the first time in ages. So, maybe not happy yet, but working to it. I've made decent(ish) progress on my original work which has always been my life goal. SO OVERALL, I can't complain. I've always been of the mindset that people have it ay worse than me and I should just toughen up, but I have done better at taking time for myself this last week😌

And I love all of you for checking in with me and wishing me well and being so patient and loving. Seeing words of encouragement when I'm not writing and words of affirmation when I am just give me so much serotonin, y'all have no idea.

[jkvjimin]

TAEHYUNG + 🌈 colors (cr. namuspromised, jung-kook)

happy birthday, kelli! @heybaetae 💕

[kavehater]

I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”

[pocketgalaxies]

C3E37: marisha + nonverbals

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

[isfjmel-phleg]

🤨

[shalom-iamcominghome]

... We must realize how the behavior that we are attempting to throw away once helped to sustain us, and how it might help to sustain others somewhere down the line. In moving beyond what we recognize as a harmful behavior, we need to ask: "What did I learn? How did this behavior serve me?"

Each quality, even those that seem bad, contributed somehow to our self-preservation. It had good life-affirming purpose at one point, even if that is no longer true. In order to let go of such a habit, I need to give it a "testimonial," to send it away with my thanks. "I needed you, and there you were, and I thank you for it. And now, with full appreciation, I know that I no longer need you and I can send you away." This is different from trying to stamp it out. We no longer say, "I'm sorry I did this. I'm throwing this behavior away." We say, "Thank you, God, for this gift. I needed it then; I no longer need it now. I am returning it to the universe in the hope that it can help generate life elsewhere as it did for me."

-Jewish with Feeling, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. 2005, p. 173-174

[inamindfarfaraway]

How Hermes talks about Luke to others: (the most adoring, protective, forgiving father you've ever met, full of praise and admiration, refuses to give up on him no matter what crimes he commits, defends him to the heroes and begs them to show him mercy, utterly crushed by regret for his own failures)

How Hermes talks to Luke:

[stuffyflowers]

*massaging my temples with an irritated expression* I am soooooooo tired of people misunderstanding starlos character

[bloominginsilence]

Life is too short and unpredictable to hold yourself back.

[binders-and-beanies]

How do I say this in a way that won’t get me death threats,,, disabled and/or neurodivergent people often still experience some sort of ability related privilege. Pointing this out isn’t a comparison of disability level, but rather an acknowledgment that you do not understand the specific obstacle being discussed if it doesn’t apply to you. Especially if you make it abundantly clear that you don’t understand it, or even believe people about it.

You can be disabled and struggle immensely about it and still speak from places of privilege regarding other people’s disabilities. Unless you are disabled in every possible way, you are likely to have some sort of ability related privilege that you are unaware of and that intersects with your disability related oppression. You are not immune to ableism

[novadreii]

rewatched arrival for the hundredth time. this movie never fails to gut punch me with its approach to determinism. louise embracing her future that she knows every moment of, despite the tremendous loss and pain it contains, with open arms. she doesn't hesitate, or ruminate on how she can try and change it. she accepts it all, the good and the bad, because what she gains is worth it, so many times over for her. she steels herself against a certain future and runs forward to meet it all, to love, learn, and lose, and trusts and leans on herself to live through it all. because that's what life is; it's the joy and the suffering. to try and isolate the joy alone is madness, futility in its purest definition.

comparing her line of thinking to a palindrome (how she named her daughter, hannah), the movie kept emphasizing, "it's the same backwards as it is forwards." it doesn't matter if you can see the end; life is the same whether you live it "forwards" (without knowledge of the future) or "backwards" (with foresight). it doesn't change the significance of your life experiences; to try and avoid certain future pain just because you have the knowledge of it is a zero sum game. you think you win because you avoided pain, but you also avoided the joy that preceded it. the metamorphosis. so you still lose if you try to win, and vice-versa.

all you can do is rush forward and take it all head-on. see this whole beautiful mess as your one most precious gift; this one life, this one chance, a laughably miniature blip on the colossus that is linear time, to experience all there is to feel before you return back to an eternity without perception. it's all worth it, because only in living a full-fledged life open to everything it has to offer does the experience of living turn out to be greater than the sum of its parts; it's in trying to beat the system (avoid pain) that we actually lose.

"if you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?"

"maybe i'd say what i feel more often. i...i don't know."

[crescentfool]

beaming everyone on the dashh with good brain day vibes!!! i hope that you all can remember to extend self-compassion to yourself whenever you're feeling down about something 💙

[sylvies-kablooie]

unrelated to my usual loki blogging or history posting but i finished reading dune yesterday and watched the first part of the film trilogy and i'm so torn

because on one hand, i loved the worldbuilding, i thought the plot and themes were interesting if convoluted and often unpleasant, but i cannot stop myself from thinking about the themes and wanting to know where the story goes next even though i'm scared to learn (and i often didn't enjoy certain plot choices, like the 3 year timeskip or what felt like to me was chani being entirely sidelined)

on the other hand, i read the plots of some of the other novels, of which there is over 20, and frankly i think they sound unenjoyable and also there are so many of them- i know that guy turns into a worm- and how on earth could i ever read them all, what if they stop being good, but by that point i'm too invested in canon as has been known to happen- gestures to still keeping up with the mcu for sylvie alone- do i just. trudge along? through the 20 books?

my current course of action: gonna watch part 2 and maybe read dune messiah to understand part 3 when it rolls around but other than that. i shall try and resist any temptation to be called into the void. (can they cover all of dune messiah in one movie? will it be like 4 hours? so many variables)

and also i'm gonna be hard on the jessica and leto ship. peace n love.

[pardonmydelays]

no offence but you can just talk & i'll stare at your mouth you could be bad but i wanna find out & i wake up in the middle of the night with the light on & i feel like i could die cause you're not here & it don't feel right & god i'm actually invested haven't even met him watch this be the wrong thing classic & isn't it fun thinking i'm right when i'm probably wrong holding my breath like i met someone knowing damn well that i haven't been touched by you & i wish you could hold me here shaking you're the risk i'm gonna take it & why aren't you here in my bedroom hopelessly boring without you too soon to tell you i love you too soon to tell you i love you & god i'm actually invested think i really want this i'm not even kidding no i'm actually invested haven't even met yet wish that i was kidding i'm not & i hate it!!!

[ottiliere]

I love crawling out of the depths, opening up tumblr, and seeing your art. I love it.

it is quite interesting how social media can fall to the wayside, and people on the internet can just disappear forever if they really wanted to! I admit I struggle to keep up with "public accounts", they are uniquely stressful and I solute your hibernating tenacity. always lovely to see you resurface regardless, thank you very much for the lovely compliment...

I will say in case any of my dear followers were wondering where i've gone for the past month and a half, for weeks i've been pondering how to even broach the enormity of the topic that is: I made the mistake of thinking about my most favorite character for more than 2 minutes in one sitting. I intentionally go out of my way to avoid this and have many strategies to evade this occurring because every time I do enter a sort of hermetically sealed mental chamber where it's just me and him and his life and I begin to ignore all points of previously established social contact and also my health indefinitely. It's difficult to convey the emotional experience of this or its psychic magnitude. and it's hard to say "guys i really love this character!" because that's just words. you can't see it. the 10 years of obsessively thinking about some guy so intensely on&off cyclically until you've made 20 different worlds he's living in... how does one convey the depth of these without artistically depicting them as you see them to be...? i am trying to figure it out. currently planning a longform comic for my favorite and several smaller comics for others, but logically an individual can understand this takes a while... he and I have had multiple rendezvous over the past decade and I wish I had more "historical" art to show but for many of these years I have been a bit too physically disabled to draw, the past several weeks have been spent attempting to recreate his ideal form as he exists in my head. he is starting to come around!

I typed up three separate disquisitions last month to try and explain my feelings on him and none of them felt like the proper vessel to communicate this concept. which is likely for the best. the obvious answer is "just draw him". fine with this being the case, difficult when I have so many drawing ideas I'm now sitting on 100+ works in progress and they just keep accumulating since my brain generates these like an old laptop you leave in the corner of your room to mine bitcoin. in a way I'm content with this being a very "personal" experience thus far, shared with me and those in my inner social circle (really cannot emphasize to my readers enough how fandom can poison your constitution without self-checked moderation). however... I yearn to meet others who are as passionately involved with him as I am, because I think we could coalesce our ideas, and passion, into something beautiful...

^dio brando