#i wonder if i can wear my binder under it but idk

[altruistic-meme]

bought a spiderman suit for. reasons. and ik i was expecting it to be not Great quality bc its a spandex suit from amazon but im so just :(( about it bc i don't like the way it fits but i have no other options so it is what it is

[your-queer-dad]

Hi Finch!

I just tried on my new binder (the one I told you about a few days ago). I'm glad that I tried to manage my expectations, I think I'd be upset now if I hadn't done that... but let me tell you about the new binder.

The front is a lot less stiff than my other one. That's not what I expected, but it makes sense given the descriptions n stuff. It's also more flexible and comfortable than my other one. That's good, because I bought it primarily for the comfort. Now, the compression it gives is just a little more than a sports bra, which is fine, my other one doesn't do wonders either, that one just looks like more bc the front is more stiff and does a better job at concealing the under boob gap thingy (if you know what I mean). Overall I think I like this one but I might still look into buying another one of the first one, but in skin color. Idk, we'll see.

I wish binders would do more for me compression wise. For some reason my chest doesn't get compressed a lot even though it's on the small side. I feel like the tissue is just dense or something? Idk, I don't have a lot of knowledge regarding the density of tissue in that area lol. I just want a clearer picture in my head of what I might look/feel like with a flat chest, you know? And I need tools like the binder to get that picture as having aphantasia means I can't just imagine it, which is really annoying. I don't really have any notable dysphoria, I just want to know if I'd feel more comfortable with a flat chest. Idk, gender is weird...

Anyway! As for binder safety, I don't wear binders in my day-to-day life, I just sometimes put them on for pride events or dinners n stuff like that. I should be good to go on that front ^^ instead of binding I just do the slouching method lol, I know that's not great either but I think it's slightly better?

I think that's it from me for today though! I hope you and everyone else who reads this has/had a wonderful day ^^ go hydrate and take care of yourselves everyone!

- 🌌🌃

Hey kiddo! I completely understand your frustration with binders not compressing fully, I have a similar situation and it can be frustrating. But I'm really glad you have it as an option!!

- dad x

[pokeberry5]

hiii i love your art, you draw everyone so pretty!!! i was wondering, do you have any fem tim headcanons or thoughts? :)) also, and ignore me if you're not feeling it, but would you ever want to draw fem kon? thank you and i hope you have a great day!!!!!

thank you!! i hope you have a great day too!

i think my favorite interpretation of fem tim is @misspickman's by any other name would smell as sweet, i.e. not chill about it at all and has her gender wrapped up in all the other roles she feels she needs to fill, and i especially like this in contrast with an older femme tim who is very confident in who she is and how she wants to present (see also: hairline fracture).

this got kinda long so i’m gonna put the rest of it under the cut:

you didn't ask exactly this but my gender headcanons for tim are kinda all over the place so: i'm also fond of a transmasc tim who just kinda Is, and a tim who doesn't really care but is willing to be/present as whatever is most useful to him in any given situation, for better or for worse (this is sorta why i tend to exclusively use he/him pronouns for him).

so i guess my gender headcanons for him tend to tie in with the headcanon that the longer he stays as robin, the more he curates the way he presents to people. i like the dynamic of who does and doesn’t have access to the person behind all that curation, and the people who knew tim when he started as robin having to watch that bright eyed kid get tucked behind more and more pragmatism (not that the empathy that made him robin ever goes away). (this is partly where i was coming from with the imposter syndrome art) (as examples, i like tim’s fronting in Into the Brighter Night by shoalsea and more innocuous versions of that habit in @silverwhittlingknife’s Two of Six)

so like, to tie this back to fem tim: is he dressing femme bc he wants to or because he knows he can and it’s what’s most useful to him to achieve his goals? does he even know? do the people around him know to ask?

(tim: i can be whatever you need me to be :) his family and friends, shaking him: but what do you want to be??)

i do wanna say that most of the time when i draw a femme tim, i really like reading through the various gender interpretations in the tags so!! please feel free to do with that what you'd like. is my tim flat chested bc he's femme but didn't want to deal with his tits? bc she's transfemme but doesnt feel the need to have tits? bc he's wearing a binder? i don't know! it's up to you :)

also, fundamentally, a lot of it is just that i really like drawing femme styles and i really like tim 👍

(and thank you for the request! i do have thoughts now about fem kon but idk when i’ll be able to get to drawing her bc i’ve got a lot of other thoughts percolating rn)

[iwasforcedtomakethisbytum]

Help me ahhh i can't stop thinking about what I'd do if i were in charge of a reboot of 6teen

For starters it would be more serialized, the original already had some of that and i don't wanna it to be so serialized you can't watch episodes out of order but we have streaming now so why not just have more mentions of previous episodes or foreshadowing future episodes

I'm mainly just thinking about Jonesy and how i could to not be the most hateable character, but i still want him to be a bit of a jerk to be honest but dear Lord I'm gonna give him a little chill pill like maybe he shouldn't be a literal criminal in multiple episodes, i wanna keep him being a selfish dick but maybe instead of flirting with literally all the women it's mostly just with his friends i kinda like the idea of him being demisexual idk i just like it, i also gave him more necklaces, mostly they mean nothing and he'd be happy letting another wear them, but one of his necklaces is his cremation necklace and is just really uncomfortable with the idea of others wearing it

i made jude trans, again i don't remember why i hc it but it's fun, so my design for him shows his binder under his tank top, i feel it would be mentioned but not a lot outside of a joke or two, i give him the more girly hands the women are given as a way to hint it and maybe older photos could show him with long hair or a dress. I also gave him a scarf which one thing i did add was maybe he'd like crochet/knitting and made the scarf himself (i also like to think nikki carries an opossum around that Jude made) he rollerstates everywhere even when he bumps into everything! I don't know what to headcanon his family like, they almost seem neglectful in the series as they're usually mentioned leaving jude alone at the house i feel but does that mean they're bad

Jen i feel she'd roughly stay the same, but maybe she'd be complaining a bit more about shit, i imagine she puts up with her job and school and stuff she hates because she knows it'll help her get what she wants but she doesn't care for it in private. Her parents are divorced like the original but i feel her dad isn't really explained in the original because jen remembers him as a good dad and some lines may reference him having died (omg what if he died by suicide, no I'm sorry not today) but it's never said that he's dead explicitly so it would make me wonder why in the original jen only lives with her mom, did he flee the area, was jen an unreliable narrator and he truly did something awful that warranted him not having custody, did her parents both choose to let Jen's mom have full custody for some reason? I don't know but in my version i like the idea of it being mention that she has to move between the houses (wait would she even have too, i know 16 is a bigger deal in Canada so would that give her the right to decide to not live with one of them?) but in my version of the show jens parents would have split costody of her and that would be mentioned

Nikki is a bit more nerdy i feel i made her, i like the idea of Chinese being her home language, and maybe she can also speak other languages outside of English and Chinese, i feel she'd speak Quebec French, Spanish and ASL to varying degrees of proficiency i could see her maybe considering being an interpreter as a career, she'd still be into protesting the same stuff she has before, she now has a half shaven head, one thing i don't necessarily care for with redesigns is just making her really emo but she's not really that in the original i mean sure it's alt but i don't see it as really emo. I feel like her and Wyatt talk about anime a lot. I feel she'd be fairly distant from her friends at the beginning of the series, like she's there with them they've known her most of their lives but it's not like she opens up to them about things and might seem unemphatic to them but overtime she tries to care about them and open up more maybe starting with them saying they're bi, which one is just like "wait you hadn't told us this before?"

Wyatt is also just nerdier, he draws, he sucks at it but he does draw, he obviously in a band, and so is jude, he just gets to do everything wyatt gets really obsessed with things he likes and will be upset if you don't like them, he also wears his headphones almost all the time, usually they're no music on though, i feel the music his band makes is just stuff that stimulates the ears it's just "hehe brain go brrrr" he's really into written art as well like fanfiction and poetry, i feel it would also be mentioned he takes care of younger siblings a lot as it's mentioned he's part of a big family in the series, i see him on the younger end of the family but still, idk maybe he could also have nieces and nephews

Caitlin also is into art, i feel she'd really be into the idea of fashion design but doesn't know how to make/modify clothing, she is the best drawer of the group, you can still very easily tell she's an only child, i liked the headcanon of her being homeschooled before joining the same school as the rest of the group, you could make an argument the first episode could imply it by saying "she didn't start until grade 10" but that also could mean she just went somewhere else, but i do think it would be fun if she didn't stop being friends with trisha despit being a bitch and the others keep trying to tell her to not hang with her but she "sees the good in her" i think it would be interesting to see it play out

I feel their parents would be mentioned more in the series, they might not show up but they are teenagers/young adults living under their parents roof so i feel it would make sense for it to be brought up more, like maybe the mention of a curfew or them complaining about something they're parents are doing or complain about rules they don't understand

It would be kinda cool to have a moment where both jen and jonesy bitch about their home lives and maybe complain that the marriage shouldn't even happen

Well that's it, i could probably say more but my brain has been satisfied

[merriclo]

hey clo? do you have any tips for high school? starting in a week n a half and oh god am i unprepared

-🪱

oh shit yeah absolutely!! i’m a senior currently so i’ve got a few tips n tricks n such. i wrote a lot lmao my bad. have a good year worm it’s not as scary as it seems, it’s just middle school in a new font

if you have a teacher you fucking despise, pretend like you’re watching a demented puppet show, or a nature documentary, or whatever else. if you switch your mindset and start seeing it as watching the court jester fool around, it all becomes fucking hilarious instead of infuriating.

if you’re struggling literally just ask the teacher. if you’re too nervous to do so in class, ask before or after. i’ve even asked in the morning just before school started. no, it won’t make you look dumb. if anything they’ll appreciate your dedication to understanding the material

smile at teachers in the hall, tell em to have a good day when you leave, etc. you’ll be shocked how far simple niceties go when it comes to teachers

don’t worry about eating alone at lunch. literally no one is gonna look at you and go “ew what a lonely loser” they literally do not care. so many people just chill by themselves and it’s fine. i’ve eaten alone for at least one of my lunch periods every single year and it’s kind of a blast. use it to read, watch something, do homework, play a game, study, draw, whatever tf you’d like. your school also might have a thing where you can sign up to eat in the library, which is wonderful.

ok idk if this is just where i live but don’t do drugs, there’s a chance it’s laced with something lethal. also just stay away from drugs in general.

also also if you’re gonna drink, do it responsibly. don’t drink if you’re not 100% sure you’re somewhere safe (aka not a party, especially for the first time)

you don’t need that many folders. honestly i’ve had the same two since freshman year and i’ve been fine, and the classes i take give a shit ton of notes

speaking of notes, if they’re not in a notebook keep them in chronological order!!!!! it’ll make it so much easier to reference later on (especially for math and history). i recommend getting a three ring binder for this

not to sound like a hoarder but don’t throw worksheets or notes away, even after the school year is done. the amount of times i’ve looked back on previous notes or given those notes to my underclassmen friends is insane

if you’re approached romantically by anyone who’s a junior or a senior while you’re a freshman run for the hills. there’s a reason no one in their grade wants to date them, and you don’t want to figure that reason out

wear both backpack straps please. it’s so much better for your back.

if you like to doodle get a pack of index cards. you won’t draw on your notes or worksheets (as much) and you can easily hide it by slipping it under the paper, plus then all of your drawings will be kept together !!

if you’re gonna get into a fight don’t do it on school property

compliment people. people started talking significantly less shit about me when i kept telling them that they were pretty

if you look engaged in the lesson teachers will LOVE you (and will be more likely to write a banging recommendation letter, if you need it)

when in the halls, KEEP WALKING. don’t stop in the middle of the hallways pls i beg of you. and, if you’re able to, walk sort of fast. there’s places to be, thing to do.

even if you don’t use them, keep a few pads or tampons in your bag

don’t skip or be intentionally late, it’s not fun or cool or whatever you’re just gonna end up tanking your own grade or getting in trouble

while you’re getting used to your schedule, get an index card or something and write out the classes in order of your first period to your last period (with the room number!!) and keep it in your pocket to quickly look at while switching classes

you remember the “hot cheeto girl” trend from a while ago?? yeah those girls are always the nicest motherfuckers on the planet. be nice to them, compliment them, give them a pencil when they need it or something, and they will defend you until they die. once i fixed a girl’s necklace and she ripped a guy a new one for insulting me

basically just be friendly and it’ll pay off lmao

saying this as someone who was bullied: some people are bullied for a reason!! this might just be bc my school has mostly black students, but if they’re outcasted from everyone (including other odd, alternative, or bullied kids) it’s because they’re a bigot or something

don’t go around ignoring every shy kid tho often times they’re very very sweet

if your school has vending machines bring some change. there’s no thirst like middle of the school day thirst, and i wouldn’t trust the water fountains

bring a snack !! teachers see me munching on granola bars before school starts all the time and don’t say shit

dress how ya want, it’ll attract the people you want to be friends with

you can ask for due date extensions. more often than not they’ll appreciate you caring enough to ask

popularity doesn’t exist lmao

you’re not gonna be able to avoid drama, it’s high school. just stick to your morals, don’t let bitches push you around, and remember it’s probably not gonna be that deep in a few years.

if you ever feel like life sucks: yeah. because you’re like 15 years old and in high school. you’re gonna have a weird fucking time and it’s gonna exhausting but you’ll make it out the other side still breathing. everyone around you is just as miserable and doesn’t want to be there, you’re not alone in feeling like shit. because, again, it’s high school.

JACKETS. WEAR THEM. ITS CHILLY.

bring deodorant. i don’t care if you put in on in the morning, you’re gonna be in a small classroom with 20-30 other kids for pretty much the entire day. sometimes you’re gonna need to reapply and it’ll be fine. no one’s gonna judge you for putting it on. make sure you smell fine.

dances ain’t that cool it’s not the end of the world if you don’t get asked out to one. if you want to go to one just go with friends.

clubs are cool!! they’re a way to get out there and actually meet people with common interests

lots of worksheets are online

it really ain’t that scary don’t worry hun

if you wear makeup, use it as a conversation starter i’m being fr. i met my best friend by complimenting their lipstick and saying i can never find one that doesn’t crease super badly, and we ended up talking abt makeup n shit for like fifteen minutes. if you don’t wear makeup, this can probably be applied for most other things

khan academy, organic chemistry teacher, cararra, flipping physics, the princeton review, crash course, and heimler’s history are good tools to use!!!

wifi is often dogshit, bring a book or something to do when you have free time so you’re not sitting there staring off into the distance. sometimes they have an internet block thing on the school wifi, so having a VPN could come in handy

if you have a free period or a study hall or whatever i find most teachers don’t give a flying fuck if you bring a DS or something. in fact several of mine have gotten excited when they see me playing old zelda games after class

overall it’s gonna be fine. high school is fucked but it’s also home to some of the funniest things you’ll ever witness. don’t be nervous you’ll do great

[nathank77]

6/23/24

4:20 p.m

I figured when I came downstairs I couldn't be any more dirty than I was so I wore medical gloves and a face mask and cleaned the mouse draw. I threw it outside.

Now i have two mouse boxes... I don't know what to do with all this brand new deodorant and body spray. Idk what to do with the wallets and the one pair of under armour socks. I don't wear long socks but they are too nice to throw them out. My mom got them for me and I just can't. I know she spent a lot of money on them if only they were cuffed at the ankle I could see myself wearing them at some point.

I suppose since the stuff is removed from the fucking nest with some time I can disinfect everything and wash the socks.... I mean I have to do it at my pace given my ocd. I know my bathing suits were in there and they have been washed and placed in the draw with my shorts so I mean I'll deal with it when my brain can cope with it.

I also found some binders and the binders I wore for my surgery-the one in my video post op. I found the top surgery box Cecile made me. It's still in perfect condition and in one of my storage bins which is exactly why I don't regret for a second that I bought those storage bins. I'd never throw that away as well as a lot of other things. I'm wondering why the binder I wore post op isn't in it.

Maybe I had two. I'm going to take it and put it in the top surgery box next time I go up there. She painted it and put all these stickers on it. I'm so thankful for her and for everything she did for me. I even found our old first Christmas ornament. I cannot throw that out. I just can't. Idc if we are exes and we never talk again. Some things just mean too much to me. I found this jar she made me with inspirational qoute to pull out every single day. I'll never throw that away either. It's with my tubs to be nicely wrapped and saved forever. It may be weird to keep things your ex got you but idc. She loved me the way I needed to be loved and I loved her with all my heart. I never loved someone as much as I loved Cecile. Fucking Geminis.

I even kept the crafts me and Katie made for the holidays. We would paint pumpkins and stuff. I packed it in my room in like bubble wrap in boxes I neatly put in my memory storage box. There are just some things I'd never throw out. Years from now I'll never regret saving all the things I listed above.

I even found the photo book Cecile made of us when we were together, you bet your ass that's in my photo albums storage bin.

I wish I could take photos of all of this stuff especially the top surgery box but when I go up there I'm a man on a mission and I just can't help but go. I don't want to touch my phone. I want to organize everything so one day very soon I can go up there and go through the storage bins neatly labeled and organized and just smile about everything that I saved from that attic. So I can read my old journals and look at old pictures.

I even found my first haircut lock of hair in the Jewlry box, box. I saved that too. It's girly but it's one of those things that aren't replaceable. In the jewlry box I found old studded bracelets and stuff. Def a boys Jewlry box the skull ring and shit lol

Speaking of those photo albums I saved, they are from my childhood I wanted to post some pictures of them bc like it was when I got my first BMX bike that I saved up for. I had the helmet lol I was such a boy from my earliest years..it's bewildering to me that my father couldn't see it like my mother did. How he was so shocked by it. One of these days I'm going up there and taking some of those photos. I even found some notes Cecile left me when she would leave the apartment when I got home. I saw an egg with Nate written on and I knew it was her hand writing and it's like imma keep the fucking egg cause she was the only person I dated who loved me exactly the way I needed to be loved and I never loved anyone as much as I loved Cecile. I just wish I didn't hurt her the way I did. I wish I could change it but I'll never throw away our memories. I hate throwing away the Christmas stuff and everything but I don't have room for it. Imma keep the things that are truly memories like the ornament she hand made me. And the photo album and the painting she actually painted for me.

Anyways here is the new mouse project:

The socks:

[sickcervine]

I dunno how to cope with the fact that my partner is significantly more attractive than me ( in the eyes of society, at least)

Like being thin and having like society deemed idealized body type. When I’m next to her in the summer I feel like I look so… ugly

I wonder what people think about me, fat and round and pale and off putting- next to gold skin dark eyes and a perfect body? I feel so small and worthless then, like I know they think I’m disgusting. As if being queer in public wasn’t bad enough I know they think I’m disgusting for how I look, too….

Idk I know it’s selfish,and she’s like the sun and is beautiful and it makes me happy when she feels good

I just, feel weird and fucked up when she’s in a beautiful strap bikini and I’m forced into layers of tight one piece swimsuit, swim trunks, a huge swim shirt

And a hoodie overtop for extra cover- sometimes I wear a t shirt over my swim shirt to further hide my disgustingness

If I’m extra dysphoric I put a binder on, under my swimsuit

And it’s not fun or nice or feels good… but it’s the only way I can go outside to swimm….

The summer isn’t fun for me- not as long as I’m trapped in this fucking body

[carlisles-girl]

hey! i saw that you've recently written some j.d. stuff and i was wondering if you'd want to do a fic or like drabble thing where the reader (gender neutral if you can) writes about their feelings for j.d. in a diary and one day he's teasing them and reads through it and then like fluff ensues?? idk i got this from that "you left your diary at my house" tiktok sound

a/n: I was listening to Ride by Lana Del Rey whilst I was writing this so there’s definitely some elements of that song in this. Anyways, this has been in my inbox for a long ass time lmfao sorry about that, but I hope you enjoy <3

Handwritten, Unsent Letters (Jason Dean x Reader)

-

“My, what is this?”

Jason bent down to the spot in between your bed and your bedside table, seeing a notebook tucked away in the shadows where the light from your lamp could not reach. You, in your shower and completely unaware of the fact that the new kid, J.D. as people called him, was in your room looking for things that could interest him before you came back out.

You’ve only had a few conversations with him, usually in your English class where he would ask you questions about the work that you were stunned that he was asking about since they were quite simple questions. Though the thought had crossed your mind more than once, you were right, he just wanted an excuse to talk to you.

He flipped open the front cover, seeing your slightly frantic, frustrated handwriting that covered the first page of your journal. As the pages went on, J.D.’s eyes scanning your words and smiling as he noticed your handwriting getting better and more neater with every page, as well as it getting slightly messier as it neared the bottoms of the pages, he noticed your shower turned off, as well as your bathroom door unlocking. Realizing he only has seconds to get out of your room, he tucks the notebook under his arm and makes his way towards the window before climbing out of it, and sprinting towards his motorcycle he had parked at the end of your street.

With a plain black towel wrapped around you, as well as a smaller, thinner towel you used to dry your hair, you made your way towards your dresser to put on a pair of baggy clothing to wear to bed. After putting on your clothes, and cleansing your face before you headed to bed, you planned to write in your journal about your day, and about a specific someone in your English class.

When your hand didn’t feel anything in the spot between your nightside and your bed, you assumed it must’ve fell over, and you got up out of bed, then crouched down on the floor, where you couldn’t see your notebook anywhere.

“Shit. Maybe it’s in my bag?” You thought aloud to yourself, then made your way to where you placed your bag for school, and opened the zipper of the bag, and took out your binders and textbooks before a sinking feeling overtook you.

What if someone took it?

The next day, you didn’t spend much time on any of your schoolwork, but rather you spent majority of the time scanning people for any weird behaviours, or even people turning around to look at you.

So far, nothing.

“What are you frantic about?”

You looked over to your left where your classmate, J.D. sat. Before responding to him, you thought of an excuse so you wouldn’t sound so childish for still having a diary in high school.

“Just an upcoming test, that’s all.”

He raised an eyebrow of uncertainty, before inching closer to you. “Yeah? What class?”

Without thinking, you stupidly responded, “This one?”

He shook his head with a small smirk on his face. “You know, lying gets you nowhere. Ms. Smith specifically said that she wasn’t doing any tests or an exam for this class.”

You were silent, absorbing yourself in your own shame as you slouched back in your chair. J.D. chuckled, before making an offer.

“I was messing with you, but something is still obviously bothering you. Wanna hang out after school, I could drive?”

You looked at him, raising yourself in your chair with your arms crossed as you smirked back at him. “You drive?”

“Mhmm. Motorcycle.” He responded, before standing up an exact second before the bell rang. You stood up after him, and began gathering your books.

“How do I know you won’t crash?”

“Well, they wouldn’t of granted me a motorcycle licence if they did think I would crash.”

You smiled at him and his smart ass response before responding yourself. “Meet you at the front doors?”

“See you then.”

Laying back on your bed after walking through your bedroom door was one of the best feelings in the world for you that day, the feeling of relaxation took over you as you felt the bed dip beside you. You looked over to see J.D. laying beside you, looking at the ceiling.

“Would you like a drink, water or something?” You asked, as he looked over at you.

“Sure.”

You went down to your kitchen, getting two glasses, then filling them with water, and making your way back to your room. Opening the door with your foot, you stopped in your tracks as you saw J.D. with your journal in his hands, reading it with a smile on his face. He saw you in the corner of his eye, and followed with him looking at you.

“I just love this page!” He exclaimed, moving away from you after you had placed the glasses down on your bedside table.

“Give it back, please.” You pleaded, wanting this to all be over, thinking of every thought and emotion you had poured onto each individual line on those pages.

“Mmm…but it’s at my favourite part! Just a second, and I’ll give it back.” He said, now standing on your bed, looking down at you. “Here it is: ‘Some days, the only thing I want to do is to just feel like I’m speeding down the highway with my hair in the wind, with the feeling of thrill and excitement coursing through me. The truth is, I do feel like that sometimes, specifically about someone, because every time I talk to him, and especially every time I look at him in English class, the same feeling happens and honestly feels like I’m fucking crazy, but it’s the best feeling in the world. I’ve only talked to him a few times, and those few times meant the absolute world to me. I don’t know how to tell him I like him, because I do feel like this can evolve into something more, and I hope to tell him soon, because I don’t wanna be too late.’”

J.D. closed the notebook, and then looked at you to see that you were looking down, avoiding any sort of contact with him. He stepped down off of your bed, and handed the journal to you. You took it, hugging it to your chest, and still refused to look at him.

“Can I take a guess on who you wrote that about?” He whispered close to your ear, placing his left hand on the side of your face, forcing you to look at him. “Hmm?”

“It’s kinda obvious, is it not?” You responded, your voice slightly higher than a mumble.

“Look at me.” He slowly slid his hand to your jaw, then to your chin, angling your face so your eyes looked directly into his. “I like you too. I was just teasing you when it came to reading your thoughts. You surely write a lot about me, don’t you? You think about me then, too?”

[snzunii]

OMG YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN ASDFGHJK can I pls get a domesticity (?) with sanzu? I've just been wanting sanzu fluff tbh I love that man too much thank you <33

NIGHTS LIKE THIS.

+ pairings. sanzu haruchiyo x f!reader.

+ tags. fluff, fluff and fluff <333 + spanking (like once gajsgah)

+ word count. 1.1k

+ note. so hi anon! here's ur requeeest aaaaa im sorry if this took so long i swear im just busy af, idk if this is any good cos i feel like my writing's off today. anyways i still enjoyed writing this cos i've been craving some sanzu fluff too, ify i love that man sm too akshsdhaj anw, this is kinda self-indulgent— i'm sorry jskaglsdh 😭 u'll see, anyways i hope u enjoy!! feedbacks are always appreciated <3

It's three in the morning.

Your boyfriend expects that you're already tucked in on your comfortable sheets; in that soft mattress, that you’re already far off to dreamland but it was kind of a surprise to him that you’re still wide awake— no, scratch that.

Your eyes are hardly wide, they’re holding on as you take in all the information in the transes that your blockmates made. It shouldn’t be a surprise to Sanzu that you’re still awake, considering your program. He knows that there would be long nights with you like this.

He stared at you for a while and there’s a brief smile when he saw you wearing his shirt. There’s a loving look in his eyes as he examine you; your hair’s in all places, there’s heavy bags under your eyes, you look like you just finished breaking down cause he can see the dried up tears in your cheeks.

He sighed, it’s a good thing that he isn’t high tonight because he’ll take good care of you.

When you see yourself in the mirror, you’ll think that you probably look like shit but not to him, even though you look like what you are right now, you’re still the prettiest for him.

“Hey, angel.” he said softly, “You’re still awake.”

You pulled your head up, smiling to your boyfriend. “Hey, Haru. You’re home. I was waiting for you and you know, studying. How was your day?”

You know what amazes Sanzu? You’re tired yourself, he bet you’re studying for hours now but you still check on him. Sometimes he’s just wondering, how in the hell did he get someone as you to fall in love with him? He doesn’t even know. You’re a complete angel and him— he sure isn’t.

He pulled the chair beside you and sat there himself, “You know, nothing special. Just killing some guys. How about you, how’s your day?”

You snickered, putting the thick binder down. You moved to sit on your boyfriend’s lap in a sideways manner, you buried your face on his neck as you close your eyes. “I’m tired, Haru.”

Sanzu wrapped his arms around your waist, leaning his head on your temple, “Hm? Then let’s get you to bed, yeah?”

“But I need to study.”

“You don’t need to. I make lots of-“

You tutted him before he could even finish what he was saying, you rolled your eyes. He’s always suggesting this whenever he sees you like this, “Stop suggesting that, you know I don’t want to rely on you for everything. I need to have my own career. I don’t want to be just Bonten’s number two’s girlfriend- “

“Wife.” he corrected you. “You’re my wife.”

You bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling. Just the thought of marrying this man just makes your heart feel like it was about to explode. You don’t even know how you to ended up here, you, a graduating college student getting involved with someone like him.

You were always thankful for that one night that your friends dragged you out in a nightclub in Roppongi, if they didn't then you would have never met him. You would have never meet that high as fuck + wasted pink haired motherfucker who shamelessly flirted with you the moment you entered that club.

And now, you’re here— planning your future with him. Before, you were planning for yourself. It was always just for you but now, it never feels right without Sanzu. It’s really amazing how life plays out sometimes, one minute he’s just a stranger and the next he’s the love of your life.

“Not yet.” you said, fingers playing with his tie. “I need to graduate first then earn some money and then I’ll marry you, how’s that sound?”

“Sounds good. Now, let’s get you to bed.” you squealed a bit when he stood up, carrying you in his arms in bridal style. “But, take a bath with me first. You stink.”

“Uh—” you scoffed, you looked at him with disbelief. “Excuse me? Don’t you think that maybe it was you? Look at your suit, you still have dried up blood in it.”

“Eh. It’s you.” he said, leaning his face close to your hair to sniff it. “See? When was the last the time you washed your hair? You stink, baby.”

“Well, if I’m stinky then why are you with me? You hate stinky stuff.”

“You’re the only one I can tolerate.”

You rolled your eyes jokingly, he gave you his signature smile, the one that makes his eyes disappear and make your heart flutter inside your chest because of how cute and handsome he is at the same time. You just smiled as you lean your head on his shoulder while he carries you up to the bathroom. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Huh?”

“You cried.”

“Ah.” you sighed, “You’re at work. I don’t want to be a bother. Plus, it’s not a big deal. It’s just a good old breakdown, you know.”

Sanzu just clicked his tongue as he puts you down once you reach the bathroom. You slipped into the shower first and he followed you once he removed his clothes. You turned around and wrapped your arms around his nape.

You smiled at him while you let the warm water fall onto your bodies. He leaned down on your face, his forehead resting onto yours while his arms snaked around your bare waist. He whispered, “You’re never a bother.”

“Hm. I know.”

“Okay, then. Next time call me.” he said, you chuckled. Sanzu combs your wet hair with his fingers and tucks some of it behind your ear.

“Alright, sir. I’ll call you next time.”

“Stop. Don’t call me that right now.”

“Oh. But why sir Haruchiyo-“ you shrieked when he smacked your ass and squeezed it a bit. “Okay, okay. I won’t.”

You laughed and leaned forward to give him a peck on the lips. After you bathe each other, and a very long session of him brushing your teeth because he insisted to— you know how that went, you two laughing and making stupid jokes that’s why it took so long.

You’re now laying on top of him, butt naked. The only thing that’s covering your bodies was the soft comforter. You both do this often, just lay on your bed naked, sometimes it’s because you’re too lazy to dress up but most of the time, you just want to feel each other.

You don’t know, moments like this with him always warms your heart. It’s just you two, enjoying each other’s company silently. You feel him and only him.

Sanzu was combing your hair with his fingers until you feel the familiar feeling taking over you, your eyes were getting heavier as time goes by.

“Getting sleepy, Haru.” you murmured.

“Sleep tight, angel.” he whispered, you smiled faintly until you drift off to a deep and comfortable slumber on top of your lover, “I love you.”

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[ash-writies]

Connor (dbh) with a transmasc s/o please?

A/n: when in doubt, transition it out ;) idk why (jk I do) but every time I get one of these without any clarification my first thought is binders! ANyways- in these hot times make sure you’re practicing proper binder safety! Don't wear longer than 8 hours, stay hydrated, and DONT wear your everyday kinda binder out swimming! Y’all probably know the rest of the rules and I don’t know all of them… Stay safe and healthy homies <3

Summary: you officially come out as trans to connor when you have to change your binder.

Warnings: cursing

~700 words

Your vision refused to focus. Frowning you rubbed your hand lazily over your eyes, hoping the gesture would cure you of this affliction. “Are you alright?” Connor chirped from beside you. Since the android was examining the case details, you thought he wasn’t paying attention to you.

“I’m fine, do you know what the temperature is?” you asked, twisting your water bottle open and taking a big drink out of it.

“It’s about 94 degrees Fahrenheit,” he paused and looked at you. You knew that look, he was reading you like a children’s book. “Are you sure you’re okay? Your body temperature is high and your heart rate is slowing drastically.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you said dismissively, waving a hand in front of you. “I just need to use the restroom! I’ll be right back!” As you stood up your vision went dark; you refused to let it show because you’d be damned if you pass out in the middle of the police station. You all but ran into the restroom and shut yourself in the wheelchair stall. 

When you thought you were all clear there was a knock at your stall, “It’s me, Connor. I’m just checking in to make sure you were okay.”

You cursed under your breath, “yeah I’m fine! Just need to cool down a bit!” A moment of silence after your words made you wonder what he was thinking.

“Is there anything I can do to help? Let me scan you to better understand your problem.”

“Will you go away if I say no?”

“...No,” he said confidently.

“Fine,” you muttered opening the door, why was it so damn hot in this stall? As soon as you pulled yourself off of the wall you felt the world spin and your stomach lurch. You closed your eyes feeling as if the world opened beneath your feet and swallowed you whole.

When your eyes opened again you were met with the (stunning dare I say) image of Connor, his LED was blinking yellow as he looked down at you with what could only be described as concern. 

“You passed out from overheating,” he began, “and whatever is restricting your chest probably contributed to it.” You felt your face heat up as you sat up and scrambled off of his lap.

“Okay, thanks for letting me know,” you blurt, rolling your eyes.

“I can help you if you’d like,” he offered with a small smile.

“Can you grab my bag from my desk? and my water bottle.” He nods and rushes out of the stall. You lock the stall behind him and wait for Connor to return.

“I’m back,” he says in an attempted whisper. You open the door and try to take the bag from him but he pulls it back, “I’m coming in to help you.” 

You sigh, letting him in, “turn around,” he looked at you with a confused expression, “c’mon, don’t be a pervert!” you laughed. He slowly turned away from you. You pulled off your shirt and binder and pulled on a normal sports bra. You checked your notes app and put in the details surrounding your binder (time, temp, other clothes, etc). That's when you realized you accidentally wore your binder for fourteen hours straight… and the high was 101 that day. You mentally face palmed and slid your shirt back on.

“You can turn around now,” you said, over your shoulder, grabbing your binder and folding it neatly. When you faced Connor he had the same look on his face and his LED was blinking yellow, “what’s up?”

“What was what you were wearing?” He asked, “no- I mean I know it’s a binder, but why were you wearing that?”

“Use your super big android brain,” you smirked, stepping out of the stall, “why do you think I wore it?”

“Well there are a bunch of reasons,” he began, adjusting his stance as he recited them, “one may identify as genderqueer and like the way it makes them look or feel. Another reason is they just don’t like the way their chest looks, to cosplay or drag, or to-”

“Con,” you laughed, cutting him off as you washed your hands, “I’m trans.”

“So the first one I said?” he asked, handing you paper towels.

“Yes,” you chuckled, drying your hands.

“Alright,” he said, following you out of the bathroom, “so I use the same pronouns as before right?”

[blxetsi]

Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

[smallblueandloud]

some leverage: redemption reactions

i finished leverage redemption today! and i don't have anyone to talk to about it so, here we have my reactions for all eight episodes, both positive and negative. please feel free to reblog/comment -- discussions are what i'm here for! (under a cut because spoilers and also this ended up being 2k. whoops!)

EPISODE 1: the too many rembrandts job

the "aww, this guy is trying to pull his first heist! how cute" job

what they chose to do with nate was... interesting. it might just be that i read too many of those cracky "here's how they should explain nate's absence" posts, but i was expecting something funny. the grief permeating this episode -- it makes SENSE, but it was still weird. leverage doesn't usually have sadness like this. pain, yes, rage, certainly, but sadness? not usually

the way sophie immediately spots the signs of a con and slips into a character? phenomenal. i'm here for EXPERTS BEING EXPERTS and this show does NOT disappoint

harry wilson is a really solid character! most impressively, he's not flynn, which is impressive enough that i'm making a whole bullet point about it. i was worried that noah wyle was kinda a one-trick pony, but it appears not! good for him tbh

i'm LIVING for the ot3 moments in this episode. "what happened?" "we happened" YESSSSS!!! i wish we'd had more domesticity, but i know they did what they could

"he gets it from his father" FUCK!!!!!

the discussion about redemption in this episode is FANTASTIC but personally i am still delirious with excitement about "my nana leads a multi-denominational household" so expect those thoughts in 3-5 business days

EPISODE 2: the panamanian monkey job

the "flash electropop concert" job

BREANNA INTRODUCTION! i love her so MUCH, y'all. we only got to see her dynamic with hardison in this one episode, but man, it manages to be one of her best dynamics anyway. i just! i love her! i love the way the team works with her!

"in our field, you're one of the best. but there, you're the only one." god we have ELIOT/HARDISON rights and i am NOT OKAY. just!! them!!!!!! being supportive!!!!!! they have learned how to be sweet with each other! they work together so much better (in part because we're seeing them from harry's outsider pov instead of nate's insider pov, but STILL)

midway through this episode, i thought "huh, leverage always focuses on specific people, when really the problem is systematic, and pretending it's anything different is just an excuse to not fight for change". and then at the end harry talks about how the system itself is broken! i love knowing that john rogers and i were reading the same tweets last summer. it's a good feeling to trust the people making a piece of media

who let noah wyle speak spanish. whoever it was, they need to rescind their permission

god, the parker/hardison in this episode. THE PARKER/HARDISON IN THIS EPISODE! they KILL me friends they KILL ME!

also just like, hardison in this episode in general. he made a star trek reference! he made a doctor who reference! he decides there are other people who need him more! the way they wrote around gina bellman's maternity leave in s2 was good but this was phenomenal.

also i'm here for ot3 crumbs so "is this like the time when eliot wanted us to say no" is going on my ot3-is-canon conspiracy board

this is a tiny detail but eliot taking out the drone with a goddamn ORANGE was so good. he's so good at his job!! they're all so good at their jobs!! i know i literally just talked about this but AAA

EPISODE 3: the rollin' on the river job

the "sometimes you just want to rob a vault wearing a floofy dress, and that's valid" job

i did... not. like. how the villain in this one was an immigrant whose exploitable weakness was a "desperation" to be included in the upper crust. and the fact that they beat him with a literal southern belle who explicitly beats him BECAUSE her family has been in the area for "hundreds of years"? it just feels Iffy.

also iffy about this episode was breanna's characterization. it felt inconsistent. she feels inconsistent across the whole season, but this episode in particular... she tells harry she's only with the team because she's desperate, that she doesn't believe in hope, and then at the end of the episode she tells parker she wants to be there to change the world. and like, even in the first place, she's not here out of desperation! SHE asked to join the team! like, i can see how it all kinda fits together, but it just feels... inconsistent. idk. i think these scripts all could've benefited from an extra round or two of editing.

anyway! i loved the way they tied hardison into these episodes, even though aldis hodge couldn't be there. he has binders! breanna doesn't want to read them! parker did! he put in big letters, "when in doubt, trust the person in the van". i'm just so !!! about how much i love him and how much he loves his team and how much his team loves him. FOUND FAMILY, BABY!

all inconsistencies in breanna's characterization aside, i really liked her speech at the end. i know how she feels! it's really nice to have someone on the team who's from -- not my world, really, but a lot closer than any of the others. it's a nice feeling! i love her a lot. i hope her writing gets more consistent

lol, parker ate eliot's carrot cake. i love the parker/eliot rights we get in this show, they're so domestic and it's wonderful.

EPISODE 4: the tower job

the "hardison made his partners learn klingon" job

watching this episode was what made me go "they're not going to make us sit through a harry/sophie romance... right? right?"

i'm still not sure they're gonna let us avoid it but it COULD work so... i've decided to just not worry about it for now

i liked the number of ways the con goes wrong! it was fun to watch them work on the fly like that. i think them not having a dedicated Mastermind(tm) is a good watsonian explanation for their plans being pretty haphazard in general, but it's good, they think well on their feet

nate was a chessmaster. he had the whole situation in his mind from the beginning, accounting for every possible outcome. parker and sophie are much more adaptive, and it's cool to see. they can rely on their respective skillsets a lot more than nate could

a really solid episode! probably one of the strongest ones in the season. i liked it a lot.

(ALSO as mentioned above the klingon lines were fantastic and not just because they were a star trek reference -- every time eliot and parker both mentioned hardison, together, it added a year to my lifespan)

EPISODE 5: the paranormal hacktivity job

the "sophie was worryingly prepared to fake her death" job

i know why they characterized the client as a skeptic, i really do, and i loved the format of this episode, but also. But Also. she should've been a love interest for breanna and I'm Right.

having a girl's episode was the CORRECT choice. they do crimes in their free time! they fleece newbie, cruel criminals! it's so good!

it would've been cool to have eliot around for the assassin guy, but it was also cool to see the others take him out without having eliot to rely on. it's like getting to see how they'd take out eliot, if they were ever on opposing sides.

PARKER CANONICALLY USES SCRIPTS IT'S THE BEST THING EVER

breanna bristling about letting the criminal into the theater's electric system was so good god i love her so much. she knows hardware! i bet she likes to work with her hands. i bet she stims. i bet she has adhd

actually, sidenote, but i LOVE these headquarters. they look so nice! the stage is so nice! i loved having an episode set in and around it, it was such a good choice.

EPISODE 6: the card game job

the "FINALLY AN EXPLICITLY QUEER LEVERAGE CHARACTER" job

QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BR

UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR THE REST OF TIME

GOD, what a good way to reveal it. it's fully about her! i love queer romances, of course i do, but i don't think i've ever seen a character come out without a romance being their reason for doing so (however indirectly). i still think she should've gotten a date with the client from 1x05, but i really liked this too.

this episode just felt like a love letter to fandom, and i love that. i love how much it shone through. i'm used to writers specifically going out of their way to make fun of fans and laugh at them, so it was just. really nice to have someone stand up and go, no, this is important for a reason! people love this for a reason! it MEANS something!

very fun to watch eliot swordfight. very fun to watch sophie recite a sonnet in her classic fashion. very fun to watch parker work at being a good mentor. breanna was so excited about the card game! they're all so good!

oh, and i guess harry's here too.

EPISODE 7: the double-edged sword job

the "harry is addicted to mobile games, which is a mood" job

hot take alert! i think this is the weakest episode of the season by a LOT. it needed so much more editing. it felt so disjointed, so all over the place. the plot was haphazard but in a muffled way, where you had no idea why they were doing what they were doing. the climax was sudden and didn't make any sense. it was just weird.

i'm not the person to comment on this but it feels kind of lazy to cast an east asian guy to play a socially-awkward tech genius. just a thought.

oh, of course jonathan frakes directed this episode. sometimes his stuff is really good but other times (ahem, ds9 3x02) it's disjointed and all over the place. i'm not even surprised it was him.

idk if i have anything else to say about this. oh! some of the team moments were great -- mostly involving eliot. i loved the moment of him recognizing the headshot, i LOVED the ten seconds of everyone teasing him. he and parker talked about the wellbeing of their friend, the woman whose ex tracked her down!

separate bulletpoint to say how much i LOVED his conversation with breanna outside the house. he's so good at reassuring! he could go deeper there, talking about being better than your worst day, but he knew when not to push! it was so good.

"first off, this guy can't TOUCH hardison" deserves its own bulletpoint because like. y'all. Y'ALL.

EPISODE 8: the mastermind job

the "eliot is more than just a pretty face" job

oh man this post is so much longer than i thought it would be. okay just one more episode and then i'm done.

the callbacks to original leverage were SO well done and made me feel emotions without feeling overbearing.

i didn't like the central premise -- that nate would share so many details with a random insurance agent -- in the first place, but i did like how it allowed them to bring back nate without actually hiring timerty mcasshole.

i liked eliot's insistence that he's more than just the muscle! he is, and it's really good to know, textually, that the writers do too!

me, watching the resolution of the episode: ah, yeah, insurance fraud. a classic!

harry bonding with his guard had "they don't even have dental!" energy and i am SUCH a fan. i know it was all for the con but also give me harry, unable to stop advising people, even when they're actively holding him hostage

parker! on the phone with hardison!!!! ADORABLE

is it just me or was someone else expecting the accountant's name to be something significant? with the way they led up to it, i was waiting for a "sterling" or something else. my sensors were pinging for another tara reveal. i'm still convinced we're gonna get this guy dramatically revealed in the season finale.

a really nice episode! i had a lot of fun with it. and now i want to rewatch the rashamon job, but tbh i ALWAYS want to rewatch the rashamon job.

and that's a wrap! overall, a fun season, i enjoyed it a lot. not as solid as original leverage, but it's the very beginning, and it was put together during a global pandemic, so i'm cutting them some slack. also levar burton is gonna show up at some point. that's a big reason of why i'm cutting them so much slack.

my personal ranking of the episodes is 1x04, 1x06, 1x08, 1x01, 1x02, 1x03, and finally last (and least), 1x07.

what did you guys think of the new season? what was your favorite episode? do you agree with any of my opinions? disagree with any? let me know, please, i'd love to discuss!

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

so i’m going into surgery soon (not transition related) and going to be asleep for it so i was wondering if it’s okay to wear my binder to that surgery? it wouldn’t get in the way of anything but idk if it would be safe to wear it.

Lee says:

It depends on what kind of surgery you’re getting, but generally you can wear it there but make sure you take it off before the surgery. 

If you were getting a surgery under local anesthesia I’d have a different answer, but my response in this post is about your situation, which requires general anesthesia.

Binding can make it harder to breathe, which is the first major issue. General anesthesia usually involves medications that paralyze the muscles of the body—including the muscles that make it possible to breathe. For this reason, patients who receive general anesthesia require a ventilator to do the work of the diaphragm and other muscles that help make it possible to inhale and exhale.

And binders can be hard to remove if you’re not expecting to have to remove one. I’m finishing my EMT training this week (and taking the NREMT exam later this month) and we carry trauma shears to quickly cut through tough clothing, so if you fell unconscious and we needed to put the defibrillator pads on your chest we’d cut off your shirt and binder.

Using myself as an example, I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed by an oral surgeon and I didn’t have to put on a surgical gown, I was just laying in the dentist’s chair in my street clothes, but I was still under general anesthesia. But many oral surgeons (depending on the setting) don’t seem like they’d be prepared to quickly and efficiently do a trauma strip and cut off your clothing and binder with shears they have on-hand, and it’s best to not take chances.

So even if you’re getting a surgery in an area where the binder wouldn’t get in the way of anything, like me getting my wisdom teeth removed, it’s still not safe to wear your binder during the actual surgery because it can impair your breathing and potentially cause issues accessing your chest in an emergency situation.

If you expect to be wearing the clothes you walked into the appointment wearing during your surgery under general anesthesia but you don’t want to go out in public without your binder when it’s not absolutely necessary, you should bring a bra in a bag so you can change into the bra in the bathroom before your surgery.

General anesthesia suppresses other parts of your body's normal automatic functions besides breathing, including heartbeat, circulation of the blood (such as blood pressure), movements of the digestive system, and throat reflexes such as swallowing, coughing, or gagging that prevent foreign material from being inhaled into your lungs. 

This means that the doctor should be monitoring all your vital signs like your heart rate, the amount of oxygen in your blood, the number of breaths you’re taking, and sometimes even your EKG, and that occasionally means having leads placed on your chest to see your heart. This is more common for high-risk patients and for long surgeries, but they may want EKG leads on your chest even if they’re operating somewhere completely different, like your leg, so that’s something to be aware of.

And most commonly, you won’t be choosing whether or not you want to wear your binder during surgery- if it’s a major procedure that’s lengthy or difficult and requires you to be under general anesthesia, often it’s done in a sterile operating room. Generally, you will have to change out of your day clothes into an embarrassing paper-plastic surgical gown thing, and you usually can’t even wear your own underwear underneath, they give you gauze-like mesh underwear because you’ll likely be catheterized for the surgery. 

So if you’re having your surgery at a hospital, or even most outpatient surgical facilities, you likely will not be allowed to wear your binder for the surgery and will be required to put on a little paper dress instead. They’ll take your clothes away in a plastic bag, then eventually give them back to you after you’ve woken up from surgery and request them. That’s what I had to do for both my top surgery and my hysterectomy.

But circling back to the point, as we all (hopefully) know, it isn’t safe to wear a binder while sleeping:

Many people sleep for more than 8 hours (recommended maximum time for binding)

Your body breathes differently during sleep and it is more important to have full lung capacity

You are less likely to recognize minor pain/discomfort/other early warning signs that you need to take your binder off while you are asleep

And if it isn’t safe to wear a binder while you’re asleep normally, it reeeally isn’t safe to wear a binder when you’re asleep under general anesthesia, which basically puts you in a short medical coma and paralyzes the muscles you use to breathe so you can’t expand your lungs and take in a breath. While they will intubate you and use a ventilator so you will continue to breathe during surgery, it’s really not something you want to take any risks with.

Binding can also reduce your lung capacity and how much your lungs expand when you take in a deep breath which is a bad combination with the effects of anesthesia, which hampers your normal breathing and stifles your urge to cough. Plus, after some surgeries, it could hurt to breathe in deeply or push air out. 

So those three factors means mucus may build up in your lungs and you could get pneumonia or even have part of your lung collapse, which is they often give you these things after surgery and tell you not to bind for a few days post-op if you’re able to safely go without it.

Anyway, circling back to the point- I would not bind during surgery that requires you to be under general anesthesia because it isn’t safe, and I would talk to your doctor about how long it’ll be before it’s safe for you to bind post-op.

TLDR; it isn’t safe to wear a binder while under general anesthesia because it can suppress your breathing

[social-buttface]

so uhhh......am i non-🅱️inary????

like, i’ve been wondering for a bit, like a year or more idk. it’s hard to explain bc calling myself nonbinary isn’t necessarily important to me; my gender identity isn’t that important to me* but every time i’m asked my gender on a school/medical survey i sorta cringe but always go with female bc it feels safer (or just “prefer not to say”). but a lil part of me still says “no!! not right!!!” but it doesn’t feel relevant enough to click the non-binary option? & also i don’t know what the consequences of choosing non-binary might be in certain contexts, bc as we all know transphobia is unfortunately Alive and Well in this world. female just feels like a comfortable safe default (and male is an obvious no for me)

(*actually a better way of looking at that would probably be that having others perceive me how i perceive myself isn’t that important to me, like i’m fine being labeled a girl/woman if the situation is such that i wouldn’t feel comfortable pointing anything out to the contrary & i’m cool w being called a daughter/granddaughter/niece/girlfriend/etc)

ig nonbinary is an umbrella term that just means “outside of the binary” which itself falls under the umbrella term transgender which is not identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth. but like what does that even mean, your assigned gender at birth? i’m afab and was raised female but was not shoved into any overbearingly “female” roles. i remember having two cars for my barbies/bratz dolls; one was a lavender colored 2008ish VW Beetle, and the other was a scarlet 2008ish Mustang, and i’d play with whichever one fit my mood better that day. My mom sometimes seemed to take issue with me expressing interest in overtly “feminine” things like disney princesses and frills and tiaras, which made me feel weird about liking that stuff, plus i was fat my entire life since the age of like 7, which stunted my ability to feel feminine in many ways, or to feel allowed to be feminine at all. i never felt desirable or elegant or mysterious or gentle like how i saw other girls (very sapphic of me in hindsight); instead i felt clunky and awkward and repulsive and aimless and hopeless. A part of me really feels like my gender identity and expression are tied strongly to my experience being overweight, and yet another part of me wants to dig past all of that and find the real, raw answer; what i’d be like if i either didn’t grow up overweight or just wasn’t bothered by it. like in Spirited Away and she’s trying to clear all the muck away from the river spirit...just wanna tie a rope to it and yank it out lol

i’ve dressed more femininely since i’ve weighed less in the past few years, but i also dress masc, especially for work. it’s more like i’m hiding my body less at this point (& a lot of that is just coming with age, not even the losing weight, i feel like. like i just care less about what others are thinking most of the time) And i’ve never been close friends with more overtly “feminine” girls - my best/close friends through the years have all been varying degrees of gnc (save for one but that friendship that was more out of proximity & ended,,,badly). i could never relate to the interests and thought processes of the “girly girls” but i don’t think i was even the “i’m not like most girls” type that much because i never let myself really consider myself a girl especially around girls like that. to them i was just the underdog

but i also think of like, what would i have been like, gender identity-wise, if i’d had siblings? or if i grew up in a nuclear family type traditional household? a household that valued and enforced gender roles? or in the 1970’s? how would i feel then? and why do i feel like i need that frame of reference to understand how i feel now, who i actually am, lmao. why does it matter?

i also really crave validation and praise for the more feminine parts of me when it comes to others feeling romantic or sexual feelings for me, but i can’t tell if that’s wanting reassurance of my gender, or reassurance that i am attractive and desirable? i love being in a pretty flowy dress and in brightly colored makeup and 3” heeled boots but i also love my button downs tucked into wranglers and wearing my steel toed scratched up wolverine boots and i’ve strongly considered getting a binder jus to have it (titties too big to actually use it for extended periods of time) and i have a pretty masculine gait. and yes i’m very aware that presentation =/= gender always but they do feel very connected for me

i was drunker when i started writing this and it’s been like 2 hours. i have no idea what i even wanted to say here other than i’m just real confused , but i also wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a timeline in which 25 year old me who openly identifies as non binary is reading back on this and chuckling at what a naive fool i am. an absolute scoundrel, a fiend, a buffoonish rapscallion... tearing myself open like i’m trying to find my hearing aid in a large bush (i speak, unfortunately, from experience...gone but never forgotten R.I.P. left hearing aid 201?-2013) (if you’re in outer banks NC keep an eye out lmao. who am i kidding. it’s in the ocean now)

feel free to comment if ya want. i don’t expect many ppl will read this all the way through & it’s mostly just for me to put these thots down in words before they escape me or i twist it too much for myself, also so i can read back on it in the future. i have corrected so many spelling errors writing this. i must sleep. free the nipple yall.

[transfagisms]

Some outfits that I feel make me personally feel the Gender: having a low neck button up (either that’s made like that or just having low buttons) while visibly wearing a binder/sports bra (bonus on this one is it very clearly signals other trans people lol), wearing suits/a waistcoat/a tie with any button up, and wearing a sweater with a shirt and tie underneath. Also darkening your eyebrows with eyeshadow works wonders. Can you tell I have a shit ton and of button up shirts lol

i have a shit ton of buttonups too but they just make me look. like the straightest fuckin straight guy when i wear them on their own- 

jeremy (co host) really really likes wearing button ups/ties under sweaters so we do that a lot.

im thinking about getting us some eyebrow and eyeliner pencils soon. ive never touched actual makeup in my life ngl but i really want it.

showing our binder usually makes me really really dysphoric- but sometimes its euphoric? so. idk it just makes me freak out.

we recently bought a waistcoat. we tried it on at a thrift shop and tech freaked the fuck out and made us buy it- good purchase but its just an awkward thing to try and figure out when to wear it.

low or wide neck shirts make me freak out i genuinely cant handle them. but i also struggle a lot with turtlenecks and such. both are for sensory reasons :/

thank you for the tips tho fr fr

[cozywitcharts]

self ship day 2 (confessions)

(imagine this in the sponge bob narrator voice) 2 weeks later...

I was wondering around the castle with Horror who was showing me around for the tenth time this week, it was nice though, every time we found a new part of the castle that we missed last time, plus I was memorizing land points so I didn’t get lost as much. Horror stopped confused for a minute then screeched like a child, which wasn’t shocking, he was like the child of the castle which was refreshing. I tilted my head looking at him then he looked at me his hand scratching at the hole in his skull. “I forgot to show you the greenhouse! Its the prettiest part of the castle! C’mon Raven!” He started dragging me in the opposite direction we had been going and took a bunch of random turns so I didn’t get a chance to find landmarks. But I had a feeling I wouldn’t need them. We finally came to a glass door that was pure black so you couldn't see through it. Horror opened the door and inside it like a jungle. I looked around amazed. It was hot though so I had to take off my hoodie, luckily Cross had gotten me a breast binder so I could feel more comfortable. I put my hair in a small bmessy bun and looked around. Horror had gone chasing after a butterfly so I was on my own. I crouched down pulling my pencil from the pocket of my hoodie and my sketchbook from it as well (its a small sketchbook) and started drawing the scenes from what I could see. I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped up grabbing my knife and aiming it at the person who touched me. It was Cross. “S-sorry Cross....” I put the knife away and looked at him. I was honestly only wearing the binder and he noticed. “So its not to tight or anything? I wanted to make sure it fit fine.” He asked slipping his finger under the strap and pulling it a little bit. “Nope! It fits perfect! I really appreciate it Cross, you’v been so sweet.” I closed my sketchbook and held it.

-----------

*NM’s P.O.V.*

I watched Cross and Raven talking. They had gotten really close. Raven had befriended everyone honestly, it didn’t take them long either. Honestly I had fallen for the stupid human myself. I think it was when they stood up to me that first time. They showed bravery standing up to me even when they were terrified. They watched me basically kill their family and still stood up to me when I gendered them... I was... fascinated to say the least.  I felt a tugging on my sleeve and looked down to see the human themselves, Cross had walked away. “Hey Nightmare... uhm... can we like... talk???” they looked down putting their hand on their arm. I raised a bone brow but nodded. They smiled dragging me over to the small pond in the corner and pulling out their sketchbook then handing me a paper. “I-I know its kinda messy but I drew you, lots of you... that isn’t the only page I just really like drawing you and...”

I stopped listening examining the sketches of me, they were really detailed, and lots of movement, they were pretty decent. Not as good as Ink obviously but still.  “N-Nightmare?” They waved their hand in front of my face. I grabbed it. “Raven, I may or may not have feelings for you. So if you would be interested in dating me...” I stopped.

--------

*Raven’s P.O.V.*

I blushed a little bit as Nightmare grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes. “Raven, I may or may not have feelings for you. So if you would be interested in dating me...” He looked down blushing a little bit. My face heated up a bunch and I couldn’t find the words I wanted. The crush I thought would forever be fictional was right here, and wanted to date me! Me! I must have done something right! I couldn’t manage any words so just nodded vigorously taking a deep breath. “I uh, Im really clingy though, and annoying, and I make dumb jokes that aren’t even funny, I don’t know when to stop messing around, and I don’t ever really sleep so uh theres that.... and I also expect you or Cross to train me so I can go with you on missions. I already know general fighting moves but since here there are powers if I can access anything even as a human I want to fight! And you can’t stop-” I felt his hand cover my mouth as he rolled his eye-light. “I’ll train you and when I’m busy Cross will. I doubt you can access magic but we can always ask Sci. I don’t care if you hug or cuddle me as long as you don’t do it out of lust. And I don’t care how annoying your jokes are I can try to laugh. And that sums it up. Are you done?” He removed his hand from my mouth and I gave a slight smile nodding. I stood up. “I uh, have to go find Horror I promised to teach him how to cook french toast...” I started to walk away. “Don’t burn my kitchen down.” I heard him call after me.

--------

DAY 2 ALL DONE! I kinda like this one idk its decent lol uh 

@freshwerewolf-pizzaroll @selfshipperapproved

and uh I hope you like it, sorry I’m a crappy writer heh.... UwU

K bye