#i would like to explore the fact he MUST be internalizing some things...

[micwrs]

thinking abt luka's self-sacrifice and the fact he gives up literally everything for his friends happiness & safety

[humdinky]

hey all! i just wanted to take a minute to stand on my little soap box and tell you about a manga i picked up last december. it has gotten much more attention since then, but i'd still like to throw my thoughts into the mix.

on the surface, the summer hikaru died explores a pretty common horror trope: what if a person you loved changed into something unrecognizable? do you reject them, or try to connect to the person that they have become? of course, this fear is twisted into something more threatening in a supernatural horror format. what if they literally died and came back as something else that could potentially harm you and your family?

we follow two teenage boys: yoshiki and his best friend (and one sided crush) hikaru, who goes missing in the mountains for a week and miraculously reappears unscathed. he looks the same as ever, but yoshiki can tell that what came back is no longer the hikaru that he once knew. now, yoshiki must come to grips with the fact that something sinister has taken over his friend’s body - and that it has a strong attachment to him.

that's the basic premise, but this manga is still ongoing and there are plenty of different directions it could take. if you haven't read it yet, it's worth experiencing firsthand. beyond the body horror are themes of grief and repressed homosexuality, as well as subtext to read into. i'm not going to be spoiling any explicit plot details, but i'd encourage you to stop reading this and go check it out if a bl manga with gorgeous art, toxic but engaging romance, and body horror sounds appealing to you.

the first thing you'll notice about this manga is that *chef's kiss* gorgeous art! it is uncanny, as you would expect, but it is drawn with so much care. the heavily detailed background art and visual horror create a rather oppressive atmosphere. the author also really excels at conveying character emotions through facial expressions, and there's a lot of very subtle bits of information that you can pick up from them.

being a body horror manga, this aspect is of course given extra care. when it gets supernatural, it takes on an oddly surreal quality. i'd even say that the transformations of hikaru take on an air of eroticism. that sounds out of place, but the author understands that the line between fear and attraction is thin. there is one scene in particular that would be very sexual if not for the absolute nightmare scenario unfolding before my eyes.

one of my favorite things about this manga is the confidence the author has in the reader. yoshiki having had feelings towards' the previous hikaru is never outright stated, it's just assumed that the reader will pick up on it. the village yoshiki lives in views homosexuality as some kind of curse, and the insecurity this creates in him is shown very subtly. the camera's gaze and the little things he says all convey this, like his apparent guilt over staring at hikaru shown through the shadow on his face. his fear of and attraction to hikaru's transformations also conveys this idea. he's also coping with grief in an unhealthy manner, and this is shown through the almost experimental way he's sometimes drawn. but yoshiki is not the only important character, and hikaru also has some depth. his character is harder to parse, but there's more to him lurking below the surface. he's more delicate than his outgoing demeanor would suggest. hell, it's understandable - being a literal monster means his position in yoshiki's life is extremely tenuous. our two main characters form a codependent relationship based on a fear of being alone, something very human and compelling in a messy sort of way.

something that i do not see being brought up quite as much is how tshd uses horror elements to discuss the fears around coming out and dealing with same-sex attraction. so much of hikaru’s internal struggle is such a wonderful metaphor. many of the moments between him and yoshiki serve as a dual narrative - the surface-level narrative but also this very delicate story about two boys from a rural village who realize they have feelings for one another. the whole story in fact is one giant metaphor for dealing with the anxiety losing who you thought you were and embracing concrete truths about sexuality and love.

overall it left me with some very strong first impressions. it is both an excellent horror manga and a nuanced exploration of loss and sexuality. i also find it very refreshing that their relationship isn’t built on any sort of deception or lies, and that yoshiki is aware that he’s an imposter, just not the extent of what exactly he is or what is happening in the town.

[avelera]

So I’ve gone back and I’ve been reading some Old Guard fic (as I try to get motivated to write the last damn chapter of my one damn TOG WIP finished so I can finally moved on), and I must admit, one silly and very minor pet peeve I have in some Nicky/Joe fics for the Old Guard that explore their Crusader days is the trope of having them go a really long time without being able to understand each other. Because based on Nicky’s path as a Crusader even getting to the Holy Land, and the various hints we have that Joe has a pretty worldly background, I would suggest they should have had a baseline to communicate already when they met and that bridging the gap would have gone very quickly for one or both of them once they committed to learning.

There’s a few reasons I find them going a really long time without speaking each other’s language (most likely Nicky picking up Arabic) somewhat implausible:

- First, just based on my own personal experience: I went through a full language immersion experience myself and yes it was painful and yes, having textbooks and classes certainly helped, but all told it was 3-4 months from almost zero before I could start doing normal things for my age group like read simple books and do homework. However, the most effective language learning program in the country, Middlebury, does a full immersion program that gets people to baseline functionality in 6 weeks. Yes, learning a language is hard and I will be the first to say that mastery takes years and mastery without immersion is nearly impossible, but if you’re completely immersed there, without options, it goes much faster. You won’t be fluent of course but you will be conversational. Also, by all accounts, being illiterate or otherwise not bothering to learn how to read and write at the same time and ONLY going for verbal communication actually makes things go even faster.

- People who pick up by speaking (rather than reading and writing) and people who speak multiple languages already tend to pick up other languages even more quickly. Once you learn one or two, a lot of polyglots don’t stop there. There is that old joke: the word for speaking three languages is trilingual, two languages is bilingual, and speaking only one language is American. Which is to say I think native English speaking writers might be the ones underestimating how quickly a language can be learned (at least to a conversational level).

- Now throw in the fact that both Nicky and Joe have been recently in multilingual societies or organizations as a requirement of their meeting during the First Crusade, no matter how you slice it. Either as both coming from a merchant trading backgrounds traveling across international (so to speak) lands, or Nicky being part of the pan-European Christian army where multiple languages would be spoken across the camp, to him possibly having a priest background which would mean Latin as well. Not to mention Greek if Nicky picked up anything while in Constantinople (if he came over land). Nicky also would have been on the road to the Holy Land, if he went overland, for as long as 3 years and in Antioch before Jerusalem.

- Now, as an admitted caveat to all of this, I’ve lived overseas and it is absolutely common for expats to live in a country for years without bothering to pick up the local language at all. There were cultural and societal reasons that European Crusaders and the Egyptian Fatimids who lost Jerusalem wouldn’t bother to learn each other’s languages or any of the common merchants tongue or other common languages like Greek to bother to talk to each other. That’s absolutely fair to invoke for why they wouldn’t have a single word of any language in common.

- However, I will say, once both or either of them decided to try, I think some writers don’t give enough credit for how quickly one or the other would pick a language up, especially if it’s the language of the country they’re in (basically, I think once he tried, Nicky would pick up Arabic very quickly if he’s still in the Holy Land by the time he and Joe start trying to communicate). Effort plus full immersion is probably the single fastest way to learn a language, you’d be able to have rudimentary conversations within a few months at most. Really from there it’s just a question of whose country are they in once they start talking and stop trying to kill each other.

TL;DR I will be the first to say an author should go with what makes their story work best BUT there’s plenty of historically backed reasons why Nicky and Joe should have been able to carry on a basic conversation with each other from when they first met, and not be completely stymied in communicating with each other because of a language barrier.

[fadedapparition]

things i really like about iron bull

bull evaluates the world through a framework that is easily-altered and based on very particular interpretations of reality. i’ve seen people criticize the character on the basis that his claims about his nation conflict with canon - that iron bull cheapens the qun as described by characters like sten or the arishok - but i think it’s more interesting if this is intentional. it's easy to read bull’s idiosyncratic, highly personalized understanding of the qun as a consequence of the fact that he is an extremely unreliable narrator.

the fact that ideas like “truth” or “reality” are mutable to bull makes it more interesting that his greatest fear is madness. his principles are built on sand, a cobbled-together collection of maxims either generated by the qun or invented by bull himself in an effort to limit internal inconsistencies in his worldview and keep himself sane. he is afraid of alterations to them because he recognizes how unsteady his foundational beliefs are and how easy it would be for him to collapse into a position where he is no longer able to evaluate what is real and what is not.

panoptic surveillance. there is a cop in bull’s head that cannot be killed because he has built his entire self around the cop. his interactions with vivienne touch on this idea, but don't follow it as far as i'd like. bull is traveling with a pseudo-tamassran, and this would have been a good opportunity to show how bull behaves when he believes he is being surveilled - her presence should provoke a clearer reversion to how he behaved in qun territory, when he’s not tailoring his behavior to be more palatable to southerners. all this is doubly good because of how heavily vivienne's story rests on the illusion of power as a potential basis for actual power.

his interactions with solas explore some really interesting ideas around capability. both bull and solas are proceeding from similar fundamental assumptions: both are sympathetic towards the global underclass and believe that the people who constitute it should live full, dignified, "happy" lives to whatever extent possible. bull's essentially using amartya sen's capability approach as applied to the idea of freedom: the practical achievability of freedom under feudalism is nil, so it is concretely less free than his own society, one with massive restrictions on speech and association that still guarantees the material well-being of its population. here, solas prioritizes the right to “think freely," partially because he believes mass political action is impossible if this right is not secure but also because he does actually believe that the freedom to strive, even in the face of inevitable failure, is more valuable than singlemindedly pursuing the universal freedom to live. this argument is the most interesting one they ever have with each other. “is essentialism… good?” obviously no. “should mages… rights?” yes duh. “can you construct a society that is equitable without protecting individual liberty? if the right to live/succeed/be "free" is not practically achievable, does it matter whether or not it is formally protected?" what da fuck keep talking

blackwall is so well written and, as is usually the case, his presence in a party with bull makes both characters better. if you make your living by violently enforcing the edicts of your state, is it necessary to learn to take joy in violence? if you are a man who takes joy in violence, must you outsource your moral decision-making to something else - a code, a commanding officer, a cause - in order to limit your range of potential action and avoid becoming a monster? is it too great a risk to make moral decisions independently if you like hurting people? both of these men chase causes that will grant a purpose to their violence, and they do so because they suspect exactly the same things about themselves.

the “real self” versus the “performance.” if you pretend to be someone convincingly enough that any external observer would believe you to be that person, have you become them? if you constantly speak and behave in a particular way, if your entire impact on the world is indistinguishable from the man you’re pretending to be, are you that man now? does the intentionality matter if the impacts are exactly the same? if you pretend to be a good person for long enough, are you good? bull tentatively tells us “yes,” but the path he takes to get there is circuitous and dependent on his quest decisions. what if the answer is “no?”

things i do not like about iron bull

the fact that weekes gets regularly sidetracked from these ideas and instead has bull make 97 consecutive dick jokes

[bombingqueen]

I might make a rec list of all my favorite wincest and j2 fics. I wouldn't mind receiving some recs if anyone is interested. I decided to just list my wincest recs because I read more sam/dean fics then J2. I have no idea how many parts I'm gonna have.

Updated:

Wincest Recs Part 1

Favorites (these are pretty much rated E):

the blood in your mouth (5306 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Dean wishes he could sink his hands right through Sam’s skin, his ribs, wishes he could touch straight down to Sam’s heart. He’d feel the strong muscle of it, the clench and release of every beat, the thick heat of blood. He could take a bite, all for himself. (In which Dean starts experiencing cannibalistic thoughts about Sam, and Sam just needs his brother. Season 11.)

take the things you love (4784 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: The thing is, Sam’s reinforcing every bad behavior Dean’s ever had with this kind of shit. Fucking Sam stupid over the hood of the Impala? Dean’s wet dream—unfortunately also Sam’s—but more importantly the implicit validation of every claim Dean thinks he has on Sam—unfortunately every claim Sam’s lizard brain wants Dean to have. (Sam knows his brother wants to possess him. It's a point of internal conflict.)

brother only wants (64098 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 11/11 Summary: Sam breathes like it takes effort, and then he says, "Wanting you was the very first thing I realized was wrong with me. It was how I knew there was something sick inside." (One of them had to fall first. A story about devotion.)

an act of faith against the night (5953 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Summary: When Dean kisses him again, he tastes like Sam's tears. "I hate you," Sam whispers into Dean's mouth, still trying to get Dean to fuck him faster. No one should ever love this much. "It's your fault, this is your fault." Dean gave him this, everything that Sam never wants to lose, and now Dean's just going to tear it all away. He's going to throw himself away, like he's nothing, if Sam can't save him. (Angsty porn set sometime in Season 3. In lieu of actually talking things out, Sam and Dean have a lot of sex. Sometimes, like now, Sam breaks down.)

Bullet for my Valentine (8840 words) by merle_p Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Summary: Stupid. He is so goddamn fucking stupid. Running his mouth like a fucking idiot, not knowing when to leave well enough alone. Bad enough that he just practically talked dirty to his little brother, which, Christ – he must be more stressed than he thought if his self-control mechanisms have started malfunctioning that badly. But no, no, he came up with a scenario straight out of a bad slasher film, as if that is something normal people talk dirty about, as if that is something Sam would seriously enjoy. As if – As if Dean hadn’t hunted his own brother through the maze of the bunker, eyes black and hammer raised to strike, not even a full year ago. As if Sam hadn’t, just a few weeks back, knelt at his feet, neck bared, waiting for Dean to deal a fatal blow with a fucking scythe

Sam has a serial killer kink and Dean indulges him. There is no explicit consent discussion prior to the kink exploration. But there is a safeword that Sam is fully able to use.

With Your Dreams Untold (10157 words) by waywardelle Chapters: 1/1 Summary: For the past ten years, Dean has been bookmarking porn on the laptop for Sam to watch. Sam figured it would never go further than that, until one night, not long after killing Hitler, Dean decides to be brave. One thing is for sure: Dean is never going to let Sam live down the fact that porn is what brought them together, in the end. Set between 12x06 & 12x07, but not necessarily a coda.

Walkin' the Tightrope (24702 words) by non_tiembo_mala Chapters: 1/1 Summary: It’s 2036, and twenty years since Sam and Dean called it quits on hunting to take up a secluded, quiet life. Maybe Jesse and Cesar gave them the idea, but after Amara, they realized they’d done enough. And they wanted a proper life together even more. Known as Sam Wesson and Dean Smith to the residents of the nearby town they call home, Sam and Dean keep mostly to themselves, their immaculately kept ‘67 Chevy Impala, and their cabin in the woods. That is, until someone from their past tracks them down, desperate for help. Sam and Dean can’t say no, not when it’s their dear friend Jody Mills in deep trouble – she’s missing – but the wedding bands they wear make going back to their old life just that little bit more complicated…

because you want to die for love (27299 words) by hathfrozen Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of Heaven verse Summary: He almost misses it. “Seventy-eight days.” A beat passes. “What?” That’s the face of twenty-four year old Sam staring at Dean with the eyes of the thirty-six year old Sam he left behind. Dean can’t get a read on him, on the expression there when Sam clarifies, “It was only seventy-eight days. I lived for seventy-eight days without you, and then I ended up here.”  (Sam and Dean settle into their Heaven—and into each other, too.)

Just about everything by hathfrozen is awesome. The author really knows Sam and Dean and hathfrozen explores their unhinged dynamics well.

Strange How the Night Moves (2282 words) by dollylux Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam and Dean talk about Sam's night with Piper.

Kings of Christmas (4987 words) by brokenlittleboy Chapters: 1/1 Summary: During the holidays at the bunker, Sam and Dean engage in a tense competition over who can decorate the bunker the best. Things get out of hand, but in a good way.

The Exodus (14189 words) by waywardelle Chapters: 1/1 Summary: So. Dean left with Cas over a week ago on some sort of recon mission, and yeah, Sam has been trying to bury himself in research, but he's just not coping all that well with the long-term separation. He wakes up early one morning, expecting the day to be like all the rest, except it's even worse than all the rest, because he's completely and totally alone on his (brother-less) thirty-fourth birthday. His bleak outlook quickly changes with an unexpected phone call, and he has to admit that maybe someone, somewhere answered his embarrassingly needy birthday wish, despite his lack of candles to blow out.

Promise Me (9281 words) by brokenlittleboy Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel Additional Tags: Soulmates, Fluff, Romance, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Men of Letters Bunker, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Winchesters, Canon Compliant, Top Dean, Bottom Sam, Frottage, Anal Sex, Sleepy Kisses, Minor Character(s) Series: Part 4 of Commissions Summary: Dean makes a promise to Sam. He'd already made a commitment to his brother in a church, but this time is more significant and meaningful. Their lives are already weird enough that one incestuous marriage proposal won't flip things upside down.

Sweet Sin, So Naked and Bare (16105 words) by HandsAcrossTheSea Chapters: 1/1 Summary: “Have you ever thought about us doing it bare?” Sam pauses with his coffee cup halfway to his mouth and brings his gaze up. “What do you mean?” “You know. Fucking bareback.” Dean’s not looking at him and Sam really, really wishes he would. Sam sets the cup down and exhales slowly. “Maybe.”

the need to choose (4542 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Castiel tells Dean something he never expected to hear.

This is an amazing fic. It does involve Mpreg and Non-traditional A/B/O dynamics. Dean is told he is pregnant. It also discusses the possibility of abortion due to the possibility of Sam and Dean being vessels and their war with Heaven and Hell. I think the concept is utterly brilliant. Sam and Dean having a child would really make it so that Heaven and Hell hunt them down or they give up their child.

reclamation (4152 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Once they're finally on the same page again, once things are okay, Sam realizes there's just one thing missing.

femme (4460 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Rummaging around the internet, Dean finds a kink he hadn't seen before; Sam explains, and demonstrates.

the beams of our house are cedar (7864 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: While they're still cementing the bunker as theirs, Dean remembers something he used to play with, when he was younger. He decides to give Sam a surprise, whenever he gets home.

there will be better days (9430 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam and Dean settle into their heaven.

ambiguity (4155 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam has a fantasy that he's long wanted to see realized. Dean misunderstands, at first, but Sam sets him straight.

a gift; win-win (967 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam wants to watch; Dean obliges.

oh so good, oh so fine (7580 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of it started with the kinks Summary: Zachariah gave them their memories back, but he didn't erase what had happened in the time they were other people. Dean Smith made a mistake, and Dean Winchester--well. He's still living with it.

kansas city (4231 words) by deadlybride Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam dies in a barn, and Dean tries to live, after.

deadlybride is one of my favorite wincest authors. everything they write is certified gold. Also, I'm a simple woman, I enjoy reading about Dean in panties.

Good Clean Fun (6050 words) by nigeltde Summary: Loose lips sink ships.

Fair warning, if Sam and Dean having sex when Sam may not be fully with reality squicks you then proceed with caution. It is not stated out right and it is left ambiguous.

Lips That Unlock Doors (2668 words) by AlulaSpeaks Chapters: 1/1 Dean may have the lips that unlock doors, but it’s Sam’s mouth that drives Dean crazy.

Dean just wanted a taste.

You Have Always Been a Fire, Burning Under My Skin (6037 words) by faequeentitania Chapters: 1/1 Series: Part 1 of Sharing is Caring Summary: The first time Sam woke up to the sound of Dean jerking off, he was twelve. Hearing your brother stroking himself in the middle of the night shouldn't be a turn on at twelve. And it definitely shouldn't be a turn on at twenty-two, either. But here he was.

The entire series is awesome. There is hetero sex but Sam/Dean has a pretty established thing going on throughout. Sam and Dean enjoy sharing their sexual experiences with women and they enjoy having threesomes.

Giving Thanks (23271 words) by chiquititasnewsong Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam forgets it’s Thanksgiving until he finds Dean in the kitchen at the bunker getting ready for a huge holiday spread. Whether it’s the day or the atmosphere or some kind of odd cosmic synchronicity, Sam takes a chance that turns out to change his life in ways he never dreamed possible.

I love this fic so fuckin much. The mutual pining and the increasing sexual tension is everything to me.

To Have and To Hold (3668 words) by fallingintodivinity Chapters: 1/1 Summary: It’s while standing in the middle of the vegetable aisle at a Wal-Mart, a slightly wilted head of lettuce in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other, that Dean Winchester realizes he’s married.

A Warm Respite from a Chilly Night (1854 words) by doilycoffin Chapters: 1/1 After spending a good chunk of their evening freezing their asses off, Dean decides to warm him and Sam up with some good old fashioned spiked hot cocoa. And if it results in him getting to have a little fun with a very tipsy and horny Sam, then who is he to complain?

It's all consensual.

In the Chair Next to Mine (14407 words) by chiquititasnewsong Chapters: 1/1 Summary: This was written for this prompt from the SPN Masquerade Round 10: WINCEST - CAMPBELL BROTHERS, MARRIAGE KINK from: (anonymous) they really do love their little life in lebanon; the cozy quaint togetherness, the domestic bliss of coupledom, and they definitely get off on fooling the townspeople—letting everyone think they're mr. and mr. for real. (matching rings, the occasional pet name slipped, no one around them realizing they're getting an eyeful of incest every time a kiss is shared in public.)

Sam has a serious and intense incest kink. Dean gets into it.

Cri de Cœur [The Heart's Cry] (37817 words) by kelleigh Chapters: 7/7 Summary:

Sam and Dean could use a break after banishing God’s sister to the far reaches of oblivion. However, a new case drops into their laps when they receive a message sent to the Men of Letters using a strange old code. The name Campbell makes it impossible for them to refuse. The hunt takes the Winchesters back to Charleston, South Carolina, a city they haven’t been through in almost twenty years. It plunges them into the obscure and bloody history of an old plantation where ghost sightings and a consuming madness mean the clock is ticking.

Using every resource they have, including the help of the last Campbell ancestor in the South, the testimony of a powerless ghost, and the expertise of a handsome young historian, Sam and Dean need to uncover the truth behind the haunting before it claims another innocent victim. Based on the short story, The Yellow Wallpaper.

This is the second part of a series but it can be read as a stand alone. I love reading case fics and love reading ones that read like it could be on the show. This is awesome. Takes a divergence after Amara reunites with Chuck.

Sticking With You (10522 words) by smalltrolven Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam’s soul has been stretched to the limit after being attached to Chuck via the damn bullet in his shoulder. But now he has something to decide: whether or not to fill Dean in about what had really happened to Sam while Dean was off hunting on his own and killing his old buddy. It takes him the whole drive to Alaska, and nearly the whole way back to work up the courage to spill the whole story.

Dean helps Sam's soul heal and it is a beautiful thing.

nothing's gonna hurt you, baby (17652 words) by orphan_account Chapters: 1/1 Summary: “You get to have this, Dean.” The brush of Sam’s mouth against his own is the sweetest ache. Lips catch and drag and Sam whispers into his mouth, “You get to have this. If you want this, I’m giving it to you. Let me give this to you.” Dean wants to say yes. He wants to say please and I love you and thank you. For the trust, the devotion, the care. It’s not something that has ever needed to be verbalised but god, in this moment Dean wants nothing more than to tell this boy just how much he loves him. “Yeah. Yeah, Sam — I want this.” The words taste like the sweetest freedom and a thousand more years of damnation but Sam’s tongue soothes the burn of them. Long fingers cradle the back of his head tenderly, so tenderly, like he’s something precious to be taken care of, and Dean’s chest feels fit to bursting with how much he loves this kid.

I adore this fic. I really really do. and its sexy hot. This has Daddy kink. Sam calls Dean Daddy and it has undertones of subdropping.

Every New Beginning (1881 words) by remy Chapters: 1/1 Summary: one night you realize you love him, you love him in a way you shouldn’t, in a way you can never tell anyone, least of all him because he is not here. he is miles and miles and miles below your feet, so far out of your reach that you can’t even imagine it, and your chest hurts so sharp and vindictive you can’t breathe. and here’s the thing – without him, you don’t want to.

This is written in second person but it is an honestly beautiful depiction of Dean's feelings for Sam.

they were each other's toxic cure called codependency (2172 words) by nowhere_blake Series: Part 8 of codas for the damned and the brokenhearted Summary: Mary’s back, Dean is gone and Sam stops sleeping. She thought she understood how deep her boys' relationship goes, but when Michael takes over and Dean disappears, she needs to reevaluate just exactly how scarily codependent the two of them are. Coda to 14x01 Stranger in a Strange Land.

There's No Normal After That (6274 words) by Fenix21 Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Dean discovers the truth behind the words of what it really means to love his brother.

Dean's turmoil after Sam's non-death is good stuff. This fic is set after Red Meat.

O Heavenly Christmas (8124 words) by SmackTheDevil Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Reunited on a bridge in Heaven, Sam and Dean have much to catch up on and slide back into their close relationship as if they had never been apart. Sam is reflective about a life long lived, while Dean is his usual self; cracking jokes and teasing his brother. But without the weight of the world on their shoulders, for the first time, in a long time they are both able to relax and talk about their time together on Earth, relive a few memories and enjoy their first Christmas together in Heaven.

amazing work and the progress of their re-joining is beautiful

ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves? (ain't you my baby?) (3367 words) by pilotflyingj Summary: Five times Dean calls Sam "baby," and one time he doesn't.

Monsters Are Always Hungry (27458 words) by untraceablegirl23 Chapters: 1/1 Summary: He peers down at him for just a second, a second that skips on like hours, because looking at Sam is like giving something up, like air, like space, and being replaced entirely with devotion. (Nonlinear depiction of the time Sam and Dean are found out and how it all comes to in the months beforehand which are Heaven and Hell at once. Or an acknowledgement of just how far they’d go for each other, even when it’s beyond wrong, because how can you hide when you’re entirely made for someone else?)

Midnight Ride (2749 words) by ani_coolgirl Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Sam really just means to get some sleep. But if he wants Dean’s good mood to last, he may as well indulge and enjoy the ride.

Sam indulging Dean's cowboy while Castiel and Jack are in the next room.

[safetycar-restart]

hiii!! i come to you with a logan and oscar idea, poly or separate, idc. so it’s established that what leads to oscar joining logan and his dom is logan finding him in subspace but alternatively going with the past d/s au, what if logan knew that oscar had this horrible dom and it shattered his heart everytime he thought about it like “i have a good dom, why can’t oscar? oscars good too, why can’t he have good things?”

so this leads to Logan talking to his dom about oscar and his dom saying yes because well all oscar and Logan really want is to be good, at their cores they are good boys. so logan finds oscar and that time and brings him with him back to his dom and at this point they are both sobbing, oscar from his bad drop with his (team assigned) dom and logan because once again he can’t really rationalize in this headspace that oscar can’t have as good a dom as he does. so you end up talking with both of them when they are out of subspace and coming to an agreement that oscar is now your sub. i think that with logan being collared it might cause some issues like internally for oscar, especially when he enters subspace like “am i not good enough to be collared too?” :(. which of course he is and you end up having to have a long conversation with oscar about how you love him just as much as you love logan. and thought number 2 which is far less developed: what do you think logan is like as a little? cause i personally see him as being more laidback, kind of like max but with less trauma. but he still has his moments unlike when he’s not little, little!logan is wayyyyyyyy more hurt by you (his mommy/daddy) talking to other littles. ESPECIALLY ones he feels like are better than him. he’s always afraid you’re going to leave him for a “better” little. feel free to add any of your thoughts (also sorry for any mistakes, english is my third language) -love 🎾anon

Firstly, please know that you guys can always send ideas that don't merge with the 'canon' of our verses! Nothing is set in stone and I love exploring different ideas. Anyway, I love this so much.

I love how pure Logan is about it? He's really just there like 'I good boy, I have good dom. But Oscar good boy? Why no good dom for Oscar? MUST FIX" and that's it. That's far as the plan goes.

He's long since decided that when it comes to anything to do with scening and dynamics, it is your problem. Ever since you collared him, he kinda just tells you his vague thoughts and lets you do the rest cause you're his dom and he trusts you.

So with this, he thought no further than the fact that Oscar deserves a better dom and you are a better dom therefore you must dom Oscar and him together.

Of course you say yes when Logan brought it up to you. Not only because you would do anything to make Logan never look so sad again, but also because you genuinely love Oscar and it breaks your heart to know he's not getting what he needs.

You except Oscar to be upset when he comes to you, but you don't Logan to also be in a breakdown. Logan is just crying and hugging Oscar, mumbling that it isnt fair! Oscar should be with you and him, not some terrible mclaren dom!

Of course hearing this makes Oscar cry even more, because he wants what you and Logan have so bad.

You don't actually scene with them properly, because you havent been able to talk to Oscar about his limits yet and because they're both far too upset. Maybe you let them kneel for you? They get to kneel right next to each other, their legs pressed against each other and they can even hold hands. Within ten minutes they've formed a cuddle pile at your feet and honestly it's just the cutest?

You've got two good boys cuddling at your feet, looking up at you for praise and reassurance.

Oscar spends the night, cuddles between you and Logan and has the best sleep he's had in a long time. You discuss everything in the morning and all of three you realise that Oscar needs to also be your sub.

So that's what happens.

But yeah Oscar definitely has a problem with Logan having a collar, and it's actually so difficult for him to workout what his problem even is? Because he's not upset that Logan is collared, he's happy! He loves watching you and Logan together, and his heart would break if you took Logan's collar away.

But at the same time, his heart just aches sometimes? Cause he... he wants a collar too. He wants to really feel like he belongs to you.

And I think Logan feels really guilty about that? He can see that it's upsetting Oscar and he doesn't know what to do. Oscar just joined, so he knows it's too early for Oscar to be collared, but he also knows that there's no way in hell he's going to take his collar off around Oscar. He hasn't been without a collar for over three years and he's not about to start now, it would break him.

Maybe you get Oscar a play collar? A collar that he only wears during scenes and that he can request to wear around the house too. He can't put his own play collar on, it has to be you that does it and if you aren't there, then it can be Logan but you must order Logan to do it.

Oscar ADORES his play collar, and pretty soon he's always wearing it around the house.

Within two months he's gotten his own day collar, because once he knows what it's like to wear your collar, he doesn't ever want to stop.

Maybe Oscar and Logan get each other bracelets? So it's like they've kinda collared each other too.

LITTLE!LOGAN:

I'm not gonna spend too much time on this because of how long the d/s au idea was, but I do want to say this: I love the idea that he's jealous?

He's actually a pretty independent little, happy to watch cartoons and drink from his sippy cup while you work or chat to another caregiver but the moment you even look at another little, he's pouting and whining and fussing. HE'S your baby boy, no one else!

(Except... except he doesn't mind when you look after Oscar.)

[beskarandkyber]

I must say that Bo Katan's conversion to Din's "cult" has got to be one of the worst things I've seen in tv recently. For many reasons. It was so terrible in fact that it has well and truly kicked my interest in the show down a terrifying hundred degrees.

I know a lot of people are up in arms about this season. And I'm devastated to be thinking so negatively of a show that has only ever brought me joy. Writing for The Mandalorian has never been amazing, but I was okay with that because I love Din and his weird little attitude and position towards the galaxy. The characters on the show were enough to keep it alive and fun and carry it without relying too heavily on a fantastically written script. And scenes that were meant to make you feel something did. Stakes were good, and the story progressed just fine. It was a fun, heartwarming show with some badassery tossed in. But holy moly and pie.

To start I can only guess at this point what the point behind Din being excommunicated was. He was obviously messed up over the fact that his family and clan let him go so easily but he understood and accepted the creed. I was excited after he had taken off his helmet and broken the Creed because it opened up this new way to explore the clan and the possible problematic aspects of how he was living and how the the clan worked. This in turn exploring Din's identity as a Mandalorian with the knowledge he's gained from Boba and the other Mandos from season 2. Maybe there is more than one way. Tie this to Bo Katan and her vehement dislike for the clan and the fact that they were together when he broke his own Creed we could have had a huge a fun and impactful conversation about mandalorians, his Creed, where Din stands when he's placed in the gray area of the Mandalorian identity. I'm not saying that the clan is inherently problematic or evil, none of that because subjectively, it's not, but there should have been some type of nuanced conversation that affected Din and his place in the galaxy and the fact that he had a foundling. Not only this but the fact that he had recently come into ownership of the dark saber which places him by Mandalorian tradition and culture at the head of Mandalore. Perhaps predictably I thought that season 3 would contain his battle and internal and external struggle as he's fitted into this place that he never thought he would be in. I was excited to see his relationship with his clan completely changed especially as he sees that he has a new place in the galaxy and starts to perhaps grow away from them which could have led to either an antagonist in Bo Katan or a reluctant ally, or both!

Din felt too listless over the entire situation. That was his family the people who raised him, the people he had sworn his allegiance to, were so quick to dismiss him without hearing him out. But nothing really came out of it, no emotion no internal battles, no anything. We were simply told that he needed to go and get baptized to be redeemed.

I struggle also with the concept of bathing in the living Waters and Bo Katan joining the clan. Baptism is just bathing if there is no intent behind the action. Din was baptized because of his intention and he has a little like prayer thing he said. Bo Katan on the other hand went into the waters to save him and nothing more. There was no intent behind her actions, in the ritualistic sense that there was for Din, which means she was not baptized. And technically, at least in my eyes, it should be null and void the fact that she went after him into the water. And if the show simply was implying that the water held special magical properties the whole thing feels cheap and fake and I hate it.

I think perhaps a lot of my discontentment with this season and Bo Katan's sudden acceptance into a clan that she had previously considered a cult, looked upon with disgust and disdain, came from the fact that we did not get to see this change resonate enough within Din, not even in the book of Boba Fett. Her being accepted so readily into the clan cheapened everything that we were supposed to care about when it came to Din and his redemption. It was humorous in the way that it felt like a slap in the face and salt on the wound, I can only imagine how frustrated I would be if I were in Din's position.

It also cheapens Bo Katan's character as well. What was the point in never showing us any kind of character development in her and then suddenly sticking her in this clan and making the audience think that that was natural and fine? If this was where her character was going since we introduced to her in season 2 I never saw it coming and I find it a strange diminishing of her character, when she could have been a wonderful foil to Din, an antagonist a roadblock, but also someone who he would eventually have to confide in in order to properly handle his new position with the dark saber and eventually maybe it would lead to them having a dual where Bo Katan could win back the dark saber and everything before worked up to put her back on the throne and she learned valuable life lessons made her more tolerable of more people in the galaxy.

Or maybe she would see how much of a failed leader she's been and would come to accept that Din is the Mand'alor. I don't know. And I never will get to know.

I would say more but I think I have too much to say truthfully. All I know is for the first time I've felt disappointment and disinterest in a show I absolutely adore and it's heartbreaking. But I'm tired of accepting poorly made choices in writing for shows this big though. I'm sick of being told to sit and enjoy it and stop complaining when it genuinely sucks. No matter how much I love it. I'm not happy with it and as a viewer I deserve more than half baked plot points and non existent character arcs.

[eskumii]

Part two of yandere big bro Eren let's say reader has a secret boyfriend and one day Eren sees them on a date.

soft yandere!older brother!eren yeagar hcs (part 2) + how he reacts to you having a secret boyfriend [platonic]

TITLE: " LEARN YOUR LESSON " — navi. part one.

A/N: this took me so freakin long, i am so sorryy ToT i just got back from visiting my grandma, who's not doing so good. life can be rlly unexpected but i'm back baby!! the ending is kind of rushed bc i totally word vomit all over these hcs and can never find a good ending point lolol :( so idk sorry if it's just not that great. i hope u enjoy it anyway!

PAIRING: soft yandere!older brother!eren yeager x little sister!reader (platonic)

CHARACTERS: eren yeager (19), reader (15), reader's boyfriend (16)

☆ it's not often you meet guys your age—or anyone at all, really—inside of the little section of wall maria you live in with eren. after your disaster of an experience at the corps boot camp, you find that the trauma of attempting to befriend people has yet to leave you.

☆ you can't really recall ever making friends with anyone when you were younger; in fact, the only people you could actually consider friends are armin and mikasa, but even they get stonewalled by eren if they hang around you too often. you still don't understand why he's like that, but his overprotectiveness seems to have bred your tendency to be incredibly sneaky. now that's something you can thank him for in the very near future.

☆ of course, though, eren is naturally your closest "guy friend." you tell him everything, he's been there for everything, and he probably knows you better than you know yourself at this point. however, there is one thing you'd rather not talk to him about: your love life. you pretty much had no female influence in your life except mikasa, who somehow had even less capability of showing affection than eren, and what little memories you had of your mother were now fading into obscurity.

☆ your near non-existent social experiences leaves you lonely. you're at the age where romance should be the peak of your explorative endeavors, yet you don't have a single romantic anything under your belt. the thought of being lonely forever makes you sulk, but the day you receive an unfamiliar knock on your front door is the day you meet the end of your demise. it's the new boy from down the street.

☆ eren had stepped out to get some groceries for dinner, so that left you up to your own devices for a little bit. usually he told you to never open the door for anyone who knocks because 1.) he has a key, and 2.) if it's not him, you shouldn't be talking to them, period. something about him being concerned you'd get taken advantage of or kidnapped or murdered—he rambled on about the possibilities for like thirty minutes, you recall. anyway, it would be rude to not answer the door while someone is home, so you did the unthinkable: you opened the door.

☆ and standing before you was quite possibly the cutest boy you had ever laid your eyes on. he's a head taller than you with dark eyes and ash blonde hair, his lean form clad in modest yet stylish apparel. you're both frozen in place, staring at each other with varying degrees of embarrassment. you're suddenly all too aware of your homely pajamas and unkept hair—frankly, you assume he must think you're the ugliest thing he's ever seen.

☆ "uh, um.." he stumbles over his words. "i'm lukas roth. i, uh, just moved into the house that's, like, over there." lukas points to the once vacant house that sits at the very end of your block. renovations for that house were put on hold for so long that it remained abandoned for years, so it was surprising to hear it was finally moved into. excitement wells up in your chest at the prospect of a potential new friend.

☆ "hi, i'm [y/n]!" you stick a hand out for him to shake. "welcome to shiganshina." lukas stares at your hand, face flushing red as he moves to grab it. his hand is large and warm and you're totally internally freaking out at the skinship. you're basically holding hands! though as quick as it happens, it's over, and lukas is back to looking frazzled. he honestly looks like he wants to run away.

☆ "my mom wanted me to give the neighbors these." he sheepishly pulls out a bag of brightly decorated sugar cookies from behind his back, "uh, i hope you like them..."

☆ you're literally ascending. graciously taking the bag of confectionary treats from him, you excitedly begin to engage in conversation, completely disregarding your former shame of your disheveled appearance. he seems to loosen up after a bit of back and forth, thankfully.

☆ your small talk ends abruptly when you hear a woman's voice calling for lukas down the street. he bids you goodbye with a charming smile and promises to visit you again sometime (he stresses the "only if you want, though..." very shyly). the grin on your face is telling and you, of course, welcome it with vigor.

☆ as if on cue, eren emerges from the opposite side of the street. there's no time to duck back inside as he's already spotted you, and he immediately looks like he's going to chew you out with the way a dark look passes over his features.

☆ "who was that?" eren asks, glaring holes into the back of lukas's head as he walks down the block to his own house. "don't talk to weirdos when i'm not home. didn't i tell you not to open the door if it's not me?" you roll your eyes at his annoying demands and step aside so he can come in. he's carrying a bag of vegetables judging by the stems of green onion that peek over the top.

☆ you wait until lukas disappears from your view before you shut the door completely. you gush through a brief recount of the short conversation you shared with him, clasping your hands together excitedly. you even tell eren about how he asked to hang out (which you regret almost immediately after he sends you a sharp, unforgiving look). it just that you've never heard someone say that to you like, ever, so it's only natural that you can hardly contain yourself.

☆ now wait a minute, he asked you to what? eren watches with an exasperated deadpan as you practically float around the room in bliss, the cutely ribboned bag of sugar cookies with pink frosting dangling from your hands. he knew this part of your adolescence would come at some point, just not now. as much as he hates being the bad guy, there's no one else around who'll "crack the whip," so the speak. especially when it comes to boys and dating.

☆ "you're not hanging out with that boy, [y/n]." eren sets the bag of groceries down on the kitchen counter then leans against it with his arms crossed. you open your mouth to argue but you can't even get a breath in before he cuts you off. "no. that's final. you hear me?"

☆ you sit through dinner mumbling under your breath, but eren pays you no mind. is he being irrational? well, he doesn't deny it. a lot of things he does may seem irrational, but there's always a method to his madness. eren knows how boys are at your age and if they're anything like he was, they can only pursue you romantically over his dead body.

☆ as he expected, you don't bring it up for the rest of the night or even the rest of the week. all is well in paradise it seems, and the earth is still spinning on its intended axis. you're acting normally, joking around with him normally, and just... being you normally. honestly, it's a cause to be cautious—eren would be lying if he said he didn't at least somewhat expect an outburst or pushback of some sort. you are his sister after all, the hard headedness and rebellion runs in the blood.

☆ eren begins to grow kind of suspicious of your behavior. you're going outside a lot more with the excuse of doing laundry down at the river (even though you'll be carrying a basket that clearly has like two socks that don't even match) or needing some fresh air. he's not necessarily opposed to you going outside, just as long as he knows exactly where you're going and if it's an area that's within walking distance. eren pretends to find it incredibly bothersome if you were to wander off somewhere unfamiliar, but really that kind of thing makes him panic.

☆ and it's not like you're really breaking any of the rules he's given you. you come back before your curfew and you make sure to tell him where you'll be and for how long. he's at a loss, really. there's a nagging feeling in his gut that tells him you're up to something. however, unless he can find some solid evidence that proves you've been breaking the rules, he can't punish you without looking like an idiot.

☆ on one unfortunate day, eren follows you. it was bound to happen, of course, especially when the excuses you give him get lamer and lamer. nothing can bypass his ultra instincts. so right after you bid him goodbye and the front door shuts behind you, he leaves through the back and skillfully tails behind you. and to his utter and complete surprise, you don't go to the river. no, you don't even leave the block.

☆ instead of going down the path that leads to the river, you stop in front of lupin or luca's house (he hasn't even bothered to remember the kid's name) and knock on the door. you're giddily rocking on the balls of your feet, laundry basket secured between your arm and waist. not even a few breaths later, the door swings open and the boy he saw a while back leans down and kisses you on the mouth.

☆ yeah, okay, now he's furious.

☆ let's just say that eren is not happy with you. he's more frustrated at the fact that you lied to him rather than you having a boyfriend. which is almost equally as bad but lying to him is still worse. he's sort of hurt that you didn't seem to feel comfortable enough to tell him about your little relationship (of course he would have opposed it but at least it's miles better than going behind his back). it looks like the only reasonable explanation for your behavior is that this boy has been influencing you to do these things and betray his trust.

☆ that night, eren is waiting for you in the living room. he's seated on the couch with his arms crossed and legs folded, looking very, very upset. you already know what it's about, but you're totally prepared this time. you won't let him interfere with your love life—you refuse.

☆ you and eren engage in yet another argument. you're screaming at the top of your lungs about how controlling he is and how you just want him to leave you alone for once. he's yelling about how boys are no good and that lukas will just break your heart once he gets bored of you. it hurts your feelings and ends with you locking yourself in your room while eren apologizes, somewhat disingenuously, through the door.

☆ despite your passionate efforts, your theatrics don't work. look, honestly, you were foolish to think you could win against eren. you're not aware, but he's already pulled some strings and now the roths' are conveniently needed somewhere in Wall Sina. that boy is no good for you; it's become evident in the way you're acting.

☆ within the next few days, you receive the sudden news that lukas is moving away again. he doesn't tell you why or where he's going, but he looks obviously distraught and annoyed. you try to visit him but whenever you do, no one answers the door anymore. one time you had seen him down by the river but when you called out to him, he ignored your existence entirely and walked away. you're completely heartbroken from his negligence and silence.

☆ once again, eren takes the upper hand. he'll bring you sweets and comfort foods to soothe the heart that he inadvertently broke. you cry over lukas for a while but eren is there to cheer you up. you don't even get a chance to say goodbye to him when he moves the next week, only allowed to watch through shades of the window as he disappears into the horizon. you feel as though he's taken a part of your heart with him.

☆ eren told you not to hang out with that boy, but you did it anyway. he was right. and he hopes that, this time, you've learned your lesson.

[strawhatyami]

Why you absolutely should bother with watching One Piece in 2022:

Alright I'm going to get straight to the point.

Usually when you ask people “what’s so great about One Piece” the most popular answers will be about the loveable characters, good world building and great foreshadowing.

Which is all very true and I’m here to delve into why, starting with the main character :

Monkey D. Luffy:

I once saw someone describe Luffy as a "pretty simple character that is done right". And I must say that’s the best way to describe him.  His straightforward, curious, extroverted nature is the is the perfect window to explore such a vast interesting world.

Luffy does his own thing, he’s selfish in many ways, his main goal of becoming the king of pirates itself is rooted in selfishness and greed. But he’s still a chill and kind-hearted dude. It just so happens that the selfish things he wants in life are fairly tame things like eating lots of meat and punching those who hurt his friends or innocent people in the face.

And in truth, he’s quite the emotionally intelligent character which is such a charming quality that has landed him allies and friends all over the world.

In short: He’s just goofy and loveable and I like the fact that Oda ditched trying to force a "relatable" protagonist (him not having any internal monologues is a nice touch that fits his character well imo).

And before we move on, I’d like to give an honorable mention to Tanaka Mayumi who is such a wonderful voice actress<3

Next up : World Building and character design

This anime undoubtedly has some of the best world-building that I’ve ever seen.

Which is great because at its core, One Piece is an adventure manga not a battle manga. Sure fights and matchups are important and epic and Haki is one of the coolest power systems out there.

But also watching the heart wrenching relations and back stories of the characters and seeing everything connect and having characters from 400 episodes ago make a comeback and be relevant to the plot in ways you never expected is WHERE IT’S AT.

Oda plays a lot with foreshadowing and he’s very good with continuity and revisiting small details which makes the story a lot more cohesive as a whole.

Watching this show feels like an adventure which is what Oda was going for. It’s so immersive and really plunges you into this fictional world that is so well built and versatile that you will never find yourself bored because each island is a new story. A new adventure.

The character design is also top-notch.

Oda has opened many possibilities for himself with the art style as the cartoony style helps in creating a fantasy world, you get more design freedom when you're not limited to proper proportions and things like that.

And he uses that freedom to create memorable characters but also to integrate parts of their personalities into their designs. Some of my favorite character designs include Sir crocodile, Franky, Kuzan, Doflamingo, Boa Hancock and Baby 5 just to name a few.

Last but not least, The humor :

Okay so humor is subjective. However I can confidently say that no anime has ever made me laugh my guts out the way OP did, the humor is elite and the jokes (especially pre-time skip) hold up even 20+ years later which says a lot.

And I think what plays a big role in that isn’t so much the joke itself but the (often) deadpan and downright hilarious delivery from the talented voice actors.

SO TO RECAP:

Cool mc, watching him punch bad guys is satisfying af.

Great worldbuilding.

Lots of heartwarming moments.

Characters be silly and loveable.

Lots of tiddies. Male AND female.

It has Trafalgar Law in it.

But yeah real talk this show has been a source of comfort for me lately and I believe it has something for everyone (especially if you're a sucker for the found family trope, it does it really well.)

Plus with the manga drawing to an end now would be the perfect time to catch up~

[usergreenpixel]

MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 18: EL ENCARGO DEL MAESTRO GOYA (2021)

1. The Introduction

Hello, my dear Neighbors! I’m finally back with a freshly made review in tow!

So, this particular book (available on Amazon and ebook websites but only in Spanish) first came to my attention me due to my interest in Napoleonic era and, as of recently, Francisco Goya’s works. Naturally, this book caught my attention right off the bat because it’s a fucking jackpot!

Okay, Goya is actually a fairly minor character but he has an extremely important role in the story. More on that later!

(Also, tomorrow I will reblog this review to add my song because I’m having headaches today… Those bitches are bothering me again)

Anyway, I loved this book even more than I expected I would, so let’s analyze it to the best of my ability! This review is dedicated to @that-enragee . Enjoy!

2. The Summary

This novel tells a story of three siblings - Mercedes, Salvador and Marta. They are on the way to the city of Santander in order to receive their late aunt’s inheritance. However, another reason for the journey is a task given to Marta by her mentor, Goya. She must make a copy of a painting so that the French don’t loot the real thing.

3. The Story

Surprisingly, I enjoyed the romantic subplots! And that’s really rare for me. But here the subplots are written MASTERFULLY and progress naturally. Yes, there’s more than one romantic subplot. In fact, there’s two (both Mercedes and Marta find love).

I also appreciate the lack of a villain in the story. The take on events is very nuanced and awful people are shown to exist on all sides, so the take is more or less objective, not unlike Goya’s etchings with the theme of war. This nuance makes the story that much more enjoyable.

The pacing is also very good, but sometimes there are annoying flashbacks. Luckily, those are not extensive.

On a slightly darker note, props to the author for killing off some of the characters and making it stick. I know it’s a war story, but some writers don’t have the balls to include this degree of realism.

4. The Characters

Since the narrative takes place away from the frontlines, we don’t really have historical figures as major characters. Even Goya is a minor character in the book and he only appears properly in the end.

I actually liked his portrayal because he truly doesn’t want the French to loot precious artworks but also has an agenda. See, the painting Marta is to forge is a depiction of Santa Casilda by Zurbarán (a painting that actually WAS stolen during the war historically).

This is important because, according to rumors, praying to this particular depiction can cure ailments, including permanent deafness. Since Goya went deaf due to an illness at around 45 years of age, he believes that this painting is his last hope to get his hearing back.

Although I am aware of the ableist implications of the trope of a disabled person seeking a “cure”, it’s important to note that the world back then wasn’t accommodating to the disabled at all and views ranged from them being innocent at best to burdens at worst. Besides, Goya historically would always portray the disabled as helpless in his art, so it’s safe to assume that he internalized the views of the time period.

(Spoiler alert: No worries, dear disabled readers, the author doesn’t pull a magical cure out of her ass and disabled characters stay disabled.)

Goya is also supportive and proud of his pupil, Marta, which is the sweetest thing ever, so we get to see that he truly cares about her.

Speaking of disability, we also have another deaf character, Marta. As one of the main characters, she is naturally explored in more depth than Goya and we get to see her realistic struggle with her own deafness. Unlike Goya, she was born deaf and therefore doesn’t speak, instead communicating with some signs and writing.

She starts out seeking this alleged cure too, but mostly because she is done with being coddled and treated like a child by her siblings, especially Mercedes. She is naïve and somewhat innocent due to being very young (19ish), but she is also kind, brave, compassionate and a bit mischievous, using her painting skills to help pull a prank at one point.

She also embraces her deafness as the story progresses, finds a man who loves her the way she is and learns to respect her as her own person and not the innocent deaf girl she’s assumed to be. There’s a lot of depth and nuance to her character, and I truly appreciate it.

Mercedes, the other protagonist and the oldest sibling in her family is motherly and protective to the point of coddling Marta and being understandably angry that Goya got her involved in a dangerous mission for the sake of some fake “cure”. Mercedes is also a widow and and more cynical than her siblings, but mellows out over the course of her story.

As an older sister myself, I can definitely relate to her wanting to protect her siblings so I enjoyed her character too. I also think that making her a widow instead of an ingenue is a somewhat bold choice for a romantic subplot, but it definitely suits her and gives additional context to her character.

Claude Cornulier, a soldier sent to Santander to try and curb the atrocities, is sweet and a philosopher. He also understands that war is hell and expresses true empathy towards Spanish people. He also falls for Mercedes but never forces her into a relationship. Instead, he is a true gentleman and treats her with the utmost respect so their romance is healthy and entirely consensual.

Then there is Lieutenant Alfonso Bustamante, a fairly young but retired soldier from the Spanish Navy who feels insecure about having scars and only one eye. His health is in the shit as well, but we later learn that he helps local guerillas and has a ring of informants in the area, so he too fights for his country in whatever way he can.

Bustamante is also a gentleman and forms a friendship with Mercedes while also, eventually, falling for Marta. Although he does make the mistake of coddling her somewhat, he eventually realizes that it’s not the best approach and cuts it out, leading to a healthy relationship.

Salvador is a passionate young man who is also fiercely protective of his sisters, as the only living family member.

At one point the painter David is namedropped in the book and the French troops also joke about Soult looting too many paintings, but those two don’t appear in person.

5. The Setting

The descriptions are wonderful and not too long, thank goodness. I really liked them and they helped me become immersed into the story.

6. The Writing

Reading in Spanish was a challenge at times, but I like the style. It has a nice flow, doesn’t feel inappropriately modern and is fairly easy to read for those fluent in Spanish.

7. The Conclusion

Overall, an excellent book that really captured my imagination and attention! If you are fluent in Spanish, I can’t recommend it enough.

Either way, this concludes the 18th soirée at the Malmaison Media Salon.

Stay tuned for future reviews and tomorrow’s reblog with the song, everyone!

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel

[bisexualdinahlance]

I feel like fandom at large (like fandom spaces in general, no specific fandom) really needs to reevaluate the whole "everyone knows this person is queer/into this friend of the same gender but the person themselves" trend. Like, I get that some part of it is that fandom seems to love oblivious characters, but especially when it comes to gender and sexuality. The way it's handled in fandom is just... really uncomfortable.

I'm not sure if it's just my age (because the attitude and discussions surrounding queerness have obviously changed so incredibly much in the last decade alone) that makes this trope uncomfortable to me or what, but it reminds me so much of the stupid "gaydar" shit. And I don't mean like, the original gaydar as in queer people clocking other queer people, but like, when gaydar got taken up by straight people and they started "clocking" any vaguely effeminate man or masculine woman and claiming they knew they were gay.

I have such a clear memory of being the only (out, at least) queer person in a group of straight people, who during our semester abroad constantly speculated about the sexuality of another of our friends. Now, very likely, this friend is queer in some way (we fell out of contact so can't confirm), and he was definitely experiencing some internalized homophobia and some issues with toxic masculinity, but gods the way they talked about the fact that he must be gay and he just was too repressed to know it. Or that his culture's values was keeping him from exploring himself (the friend was a Chinese international student, so there was also a sprinkling of racism in there as well). They always seemed so smug and pitying that they knew him better than himself, and would be the same when I suggested that instead of gay maybe he was bisexual, because of course he must be just fooling himself.

And these are people who would claim they are excepting of gay people! That support gay marriage and have gay friends! But shit like this feels bad. Especially about something where so many of us struggle with it, struggle to come to terms with it, have to fight against what society taught us was and wasn't acceptable.

It often feels like this in fics, when a character comes out and every single friend is just like "yeah you didn't know you were gay why did you think you were so obsessed with this person?" or a person comes out and "it was supposed to be a secret?" like for some people being queer isn't still incredibly dangerous. And yeah there's something to be said for escapism, but there's ways to write accepting characters without basically implying a character is stupid for being worried and struggling with their sexuality. I don't want the family and friends of a ship to be homophobic even when it might be "period accurate", but yaknow, you can have escapism without invalidating real life fears.

I think also people don't understand that it's different to have a parent having a feeling/knowing that their kid isn't straight, picking up the signs and remembering things that were said when they were children, and working to make sure the kid knows it's okay to come out to them. It's different to have a best friend (especially a queer best friend) quietly sit you down and be like "is there anything you need to tell me" or "I know you've been struggling and I think I might know why". It's different when maybe you and your friends have known this person all your life, and while you think they might be gay, you don't know for sure and you don't know if they're sure, but you will wait until they are ready to tell you because it is their shit to figure out, and it's their right to choose when to do so, but by the gods you will support them however you can.

It's also incredibly uncomfortable to constantly have characters be "super obvious" and "everyone knows something is going on" between two queer characters when neither of them are out, and it be treated as some sort of "haha they're so silly/dumb (affectionate) thinking it's a secret" like that couldn't be life or death for some folks. Especially in fandoms where it's like, canonically there is homophobia or it takes place in like, the 80s during the fucking AIDs crisis. (On a more lighthearted note, fandoms also I think put too much faith in people's ability to overcome heteronormativity, especially by the straight characters lol.)

I'm incredibly happy that people feel more comfortable being out and proud. Escapism and canons without homophobia are great and I'm glad we're getting more canons that are following the trends of like, WTNV where they're just like "lol yeah homophobia doesn't exist", but like, I just could really do without this leading to having characters make assumptions about other characters and then pitying them/making fun of them/looking down upon them for struggling. Like obviously, everyone has their own experiences, but so many fics now start to feel like we queers are being laughed at for being worried or struggling with our identities, instead of laughing with us.

Because sometimes yes, your journey to self discovery can be funny! Not denying that! I could write a whole book full of stupid things I or my friends or my friends partners did or excuses we told ourselves while we were still in denial about who we were. But I want to be laughed with not at and that's what a lot of fandom has been feeling like lately.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

uh-oh she's gushing about shinon again and it's super long

So you guys know I love Shinaff. BUT!!! I would like to explain to you part of how that came to be, i.e. how Janaff's supports with Shinon were both different and important!!! In other words, a direct exploration of his development involving laguz and how he's turning out for the better post Janaff A support and RD (and how it makes the most sense to have their A support slotted between the beginning of PoR and the end of RD for a full progression of his development)!

First of all, Shinon only has three supports; so unlike most characters, every line counts and needs to hold more weight to his conversations.

Rolf and Gatrie's supports portray different sides of him: the mentor and the friend. What we see in these supports is stuff we essentially already knew about him, but we're given more depth. The thing to note here is, again, we already knew these things about him. This is the man we started with.

What we don't get in these supports is proper development. Janaff is the only support he has that gives him that. Janaff's supports with him are the only ones that gives him any self reflection and improvement. This isn't necessarily a bad thing for the other supports, but it's more that it props up these ones a little bit more.

Also, when you get to RD, Shinon comes off as though he's already gotten this development. He feels like he's grown as a person. While that makes sense, from a player's perspective, we didn't really see that development in him (like we would have with characters like Ike, Mist, Soren, etc)... unless you supported him with Janaff.

In RD, Shinon has Gatrie and Rolf as bonded by defaults. These are basically internal bonds in RD - ones that aren't needed by supports. You can carry over support data from PoR to RD, and characters will receive a bond with the character they A supported. For some, like Ranulf and Ike, these bonds will be there regardless of if they got an A support.

That means that even without supporting them in PoR, Shinon will bonded to these two by default. Janaff is his only other support, so if they reach an A support and that data is carried over to RD, he now has his full list of supports bonded to him. Mind you, that's a liiittle bit of a big deal (and kinda cool to me!) as nobody else can do that (or almost nobody, since I'm not totally positive what Stefan and Volke's situations are and would have to check on that in my game, as the only other characters with an extremely low amount of supports).

So why do I say that's important? Because the only character he won't have by default as a bond is Janaff. You have to go out of your way to get their support bond (and when I say out of your way, I mean it pretty literally if you don't normally use one or both of them, due to how PoR's support system works). Janaff is the only character Shinon has to build up a bond with from scratch, which is something the player has to decide to do.

Gatrie and Rolf are the base - the bare minimum. It's given to you, no questions asked. Shinon doesn't have to develop as a person to have those bonds. When Janaff arrives in 3-7, if they were A supported in PoR (and your data was carried over), he and Shinon automatically have their bond show up in the bond list on each of their profiles as of the turn Janaff is on the map. This also means they can get a double A support, which is, again, something Shinon has very few options for.

Without Janaff, Shinon doesn't get that extremely direct development. In RD it's assumed all the characters had development of some sort (example, Shinon is much more chilled out and takes a much more active role in watching out for the GMs and making sure they're properly funded). However, with the way Shinon's development toward laguz went, you'd think something must have happened for him to change his mind.

However, it's an uncontestable fact that Ike stated everyone in the GMs decided to stay knowing full well they'd be fighting for the Laguz Alliance:

"I told the others they could leave if they didn’t want to work with laguz, but everybody decided they’d rather stay. Don’t worry about it, Ranulf."

If they didn't want to work with laguz (Shinon and Soren would be the primary candidates he brought this up for), they didn't have to go. They didn't have to take part. They didn't have to be there. Shinon decided to stay despite fully aware they would be the only beorc there. That's development already... but if he supported Janaff, it starts to make more sense and feels like a proper linear path for his development.

"But DCB, he was racist toward Lyre!" Sure! He's not perfect and there's still room for growth. In fact, Shinon started out calling her a sub-human but referred to her as a laguz when Gatrie was the only one left to hear him, so he either:

is trying to keep up appearances in front of laguz he doesn't like, using sub-human to their face but not using that term in private anymore (or to laguz he doesn't hate, i.e. Janaff in their A support where he catches himself about to use that term. Though he wasn't quite ready to say "laguz" yet, he stopped himself from using "you sub-humans" and instead said "you guys").

slipped up in using sub-human (from habit*) and called her a laguz when speaking to Gatrie because he's becoming more used to using that term regularly. That is to say, it's becoming more natural for him to say.

If you got his A support with Janaff, it makes sense that he slips up sometimes still but is trying to speak more properly about laguz. Getting out of old habits is hard. Feeling differently about something you've had a steady mindset for (in his case for 27 years as per his support with Janaff) is hard. There will be slip ups.

*It's possible Shinon uses "sub-human" as an insult aimed at individuals he doesn't like while not meaning it toward others (i.e. he doesn't like Kyza and Lyre). Yes, this is a big flaw! He could very well be using a racist term to express distaste toward someone specific but not mean it toward the whole of laguz. It's still racist and shouldn't be done, but the fact that he turned around and said "laguz" only a couple sentences later (if that) means that something is kicking in and some gears are turning.

Again, if you look at his A support with Janaff, he wasn't even at the point of using "laguz" at all! If you consider their A support part of his linear development, he starts as he is in PoR, supports Janaff and goes through their conversations while seeing laguz differently now, and ultimately ends at respecting Janaff. Despite this, he's not ready to use "laguz" yet because he experiences with laguz to date, prior to Janaff, had all been presumably negative enough for him to develop this racist mindset.

Linearly, that brings us to RD. He's suddenly fine staying with the GMs and fighting a war on behalf of the Laguz Alliance, even when he was directly given an out. Next, we have him refer to a laguz as a laguz - something he wasn't able to do yet in PoR.

Does the linear progression stop there? Not if you supported Janaff! Following those things, again, when Janaff arrives in 3-7, their bond will show up in their profiles. These bonds are separate from RD support bonds in that they're basically saying these characters were bonded before the events of RD and thus have special bonuses near each other, regardless of if you support them in RD.

So where does this lead us? Well, like in PoR, we start to lose focus on the GMs as a whole and only end up with focus on a few of them. Our next line of progression can only come from supports again. These are notable and extremely important if he's supported with a laguz.

If it's Janaff you support him with in RD, he gets one of his standard support quotes in battle. Maybe you're thinking that sounds unimpressive and unimportant... but this means he's responding to Janaff as someone he's familiar with and not treating differently from the others (which is not the case when responding to several others, which I'll get to). Normally you'd expect him to treat a laguz differently, but he speaks with Janaff like he would to any beorc.

It gives off an air of familiarity - like they already know each other, are passed all that nonsense and aren't even thinking about it anymore. This is, of course, the case regardless of if you supported them in PoR (but again, I find their PoR supports to be important in terms of a proper, full linear progression of Shinon's development, which is something not every character actually even gets, i.e. they don't get a fully fleshed out and ongoing development story between both games if they're not a main character).

It's almost like it's considering that you may have gotten their PoR supports. It has to leave it up in the air as to whether or not you did, because it'd be odd if he was suddenly treating Janaff like they weren't as familiar with each other after getting their PoR supports. In other words, by default, their relationship in RD is not as bad as it starts in PoR in their C support. It feels like they've already supported and are closer now to be at this point.

So why is it important that he acts no different with Janaff than anyone else? Because he does act different near laguz kings. He's given special, personalized lines to the laguz kings and refers to them sincerely as laguz. Important to note is that the laguz kings only become playable in part four (Tibarn and Naesala) and Endgame (Caineghis).

These are characters he would have absolutely no chance at having any development with in either game prior (even if you consider time spent in PoR, Tibarn and Naesala are not playable until the final chapter and you can only pick one of them. Caineghis, plain and simple, is not even an option). That means his supports with them are the very beginning of their relationship.

This is by part four. There's been development since part three in his character that we don't see. He's now openly referring to them as only "laguz" (remember, he was back and forth earlier in RD). He treats them with respect.

"But DCB, of course he does! They're kings! They're powerful!" But the Shinon we started out with in PoR wouldn't have cared less. To him back then a sub-human was a sub-human. Even as allies, he wouldn't have respected them (re: his C support with Janaff). Instead, here, in RD with these supports, he can talk with laguz directly, refer to them as such, and give them respect.

He also doesn't start out being intentionally racist toward them. He's at the point, by the time he can support the laguz kings, where he skips right past the active "sub-human" bullshit.

What do I mean by that? Well... I mean with Tibarn, he almost says sub-human but catches himself and doesn't just say "you guys" like he did with Janaff in their A support (which came before his C support with Tibarn if you consider his development linear and including Janaff). He corrects himself, and instead uses "a king" - similar to his "you guys" pull back, but outright referring to him as a king is actually a step above that (and again, this is their C support).

King Tibarn. It seems like a sub-hu– I mean–a king such as yourself can hold your own.

He's learning! He's growing! He's maturing! He's realizing he can get out of that mindset! All his experiences prior to PoR, based on his supports with Janaff, would imply he's only ever known that he has to protect himself against them. He never got to actually meet one. When he did, it was hard to pull himself out of old habits for new experiences. He was trying for Janaff, but he wasn't quite there yet. Here, he does something very similar.

With the other kings, he just outright refers to them as kings with no stumbles.

Hey, Lion King! Of anybody here, it seems like you’d be just fine.

Raven King, you seem all right. No need to be babied, I hope.

Mind you, the latter is pretty standard Shinon in personality. It's unrelated to Naesala being a laguz. However, both are these are completely respectful as a person talking to another person.

For his B supports we have:

I thought you were the all-conquering King Caineghis! And yet, you mess up. Bizarre. You better stay by me.

Hawk King, whew, even you mess up sometimes. Kinda makes me nervous. You better stay by me.

Raven King–your fighting? Not good. Just…stay by me and let me handle this.

Bizarre, he says, that one of the strongest people he knows is having trouble. He's actually surprised. No comment about how sub-humans suck or anything, not here!

Similarly, even Tibarn messes up sometimes. He's surprised. He expects basically perfectly from Tibarn (so this presumes he has positive expectations of him from what he knows of Tibarn).

Naesala's fighting isn't good? Well what does PoR Shinon care! Let him die! But that's not RD Shinon (and remember, these quotes could've been anything else considering he got specifically personalized quotes with these three, and personalized quotes for RD supports are somewhat few and tend to be for specific pairs).

Stay by me, he says! The same things he'll say to anyone! To any beorc and to any laguz. Again, personalized quotes did exist and they were there for certain pairs. Those pairs got special quotes specifically for their relationship). He didn't avoid saying "stay by me" just because they were laguz.

Mind you, his support quotes with these three are much more respectful than usual Shinon. He's very, uh, hilariously Shinon (there is a word for this, however at this time I cannot think of it 😔. I am not thinking of sarcastic, I am thinking of... something else. Granted, these lines are directed to Reyson and Rafiel, who technically can't fight... so I'll give him a break on that one) in most of his quotes, and some don't sound particularly respectful ("Prince ___, it’s really hard to watch you fight. Why don’t you stay by me and let me handle this?").

Now for the A supports (and BOY HOWDY I'M EATIN' GOOD HERE)...

You know, I’m not one for making friends and being nice. But, Caineghis, I gotta say, you are one bad laguz. In a good way! Hang in there.

I gotta admit… I didn’t like you when I first met you. But, Prince ___, I hope you make it through all this. I was wrong about you.

You know, I really don’t care who lives and who dies. But, Hawk King, for a laguz– hey, for anyone–you seem pretty decent. I hope you make it.

You know, I never thought I’d say this, but… King ___, I’m thinkin’ you should live. Don’t ask me why! Just a crazy notion. Maybe I like you?

Not one for making friends and being nice in general, with beorc, but he's befriending a laguz? Well now! What would PoR Shinon pre-Janaff say!

If you need me to explain the lines to Reyson and Rafiel to you, I have no hope for you at this point. If you can't read "I was wrong about you" and understand what that means, you might need to go back to school. In fact you definitely do.

For a laguz - no, scratch that because that doesn't fucking matter anymore - for anyone - you seem pretty decent (<-- this is the way Shinon talks to everyone).

Maybe he likes Naesala? Maybe they're friends? Maybe he just admitted he's fond of a laguz? Maybe he just said he likes a laguz??? Gosh jolly, early PoR Shinon is rolling in his grave!

So uhhh, what does this have to do with Janaff? Well, like I said, I feel like their supports slot perfectly into Shinon's development that's going to exist anyway. It's like the middle part of it that you get to see but also may miss out on. It's like jumping from PoR to RD and wondering what on earth happened in between to bring Shinon to that point... and if you consider his A support with Janaff, it makes sense that that's what happened. It fills that gap, and it also slots in perfectly with where he is in his development as a character between two games.

Timeline:

PoR start - Shinon hates laguz. He seems to hate them for reasons unknown. Greil dies; Shinon leaves. Chapter 18 is reached and Shinon is recruited back into the GMs. Despite that the GMs are now working with the Crimean army which has actively allied itself with the beast and bird tribes, Shinon whatevers his way through that fact and rejoins. He'll tolerate, he guesses. Fam is here.

Cue Janaff supports. New birb, who dis, except he's rude! Yes folks, it was Janaff who was rude first (his lines were also very Janaff... who is very like Shinon, so it makes sense that would get a negative reaction from Shinon even if he was a beorc). Shinon is set off and now thinks he was right to hate laguz. Look at this annoying birb face and his dumb lil hat!!! Better threaten to kill him just to be safe...

B support, they're having a conversation and learning from each other because Janaff came over to apologize. He knows he was in the wrong to nag at Shinon just for being an unfamiliar face. Shinon is still pissy though because it's a goddamn birb with a hat!!! Their conversation is a mix of ugh fuck this annoying guy to actually talking things out... and Shinon admitting why he hates laguz - because he's always needed to protect himself from "those half breeds". Sounds like his only experiences were very negative, so he ends up racist. Well, Janaff was also racist until very recently for similar reasons, and he used to think all beorc liked to kill. He, too, had misconceptions that bred a racist hatred. Now, though, with Shinon talking to him, he's realized he was wrong about beorc and is open to seeing things differently. Shinon backtracks, realizing he's having this conversation with the birb with a hat and wonders why.

A support, they talk more and it's getting better... and Janaff not only admits to relating to Shinon - which is a nice touch because they're two sides of the same coin who are both still very much learning about each other's races - and mind you Janaff was racist at 110 years old so he's been doing this shit for a while! It was because he talked with Shinon and learned more about beorc that, on top of what Ike did for Leanne, he's being more open minded now. Janaff, understanding where Shinon is coming from (ignorance and misconceptions), is much more polite and kind to him. Shinon, in response, backtracks when he almost uses the racist term "sub-human" so as not to offend Janaff, leaves off here respecting him and, when Janaff has to leave because the support is over, calls him back because he wants to hear more about the world from him because Janaff has lived for so much longer. Maybe the birb with the hat isn't so bad at all after all!!

From here the GMs fight with laguz allies until the end of PoR. Two or three years pass idk shit's inconsistent I guess, and we get to RD.

By this point Shinon has already been in an army that allied with and fought alongside laguz, and maybe that's tempered his feelings. When given an out from joining the other GMs in their aiding of the Laguz Alliance, and as the only beorc, he chooses to stay with the group.

At this point he's back and forth with "sub-human" and "laguz". There's definitely improvement, but old habits still get out sometimes. Still though, he's progressed from "you guys" to outright using "laguz".

The laguz kings join in the fight against Ashera. Shinon can support them, getting personalized quotes specifically for them (and for the herons). With Tibarn, he catches himself and corrects what he almost said - something he did once before with Janaff as per this linear timeline. That's the only instance left of a mistake in his wording. By now he's not using "sub-human" at all (B and A support with Tibarn or C-A with Caineghis or Naesala), or he's freely and without stumbling using "laguz" with no "you guys" esque backtrack.

This is obviously only one aspect of Shinon's development, i.e. the development of him growing out of racism similar to Janaff, and there are more aspects to him that did develop and grow throughout both games, but this post was specifically to highlight the importance of having Janaff there as part of his growth. Without it, it's like a blank, empty spot in his development where you don't know how it started happening and to such a degree (how did he go from outright using sub-human to using laguz at all? It feels like there had to be something in the middle of that growth, and without Janaff's supports it's just missing.

With them though, it's quite clear how he reasonably went from sub-human to "you guys" to laguz with some slip ups (ones that he corrects himself with if he actually respects the person, in this case Tibarn. He didn't bother correcting it with Lyre and Kyza because he didn't like them, which again, is still a flaw, but that was prior to his ability to support the laguz kings. It would be more reasonable to say he's starting to grow out of using "sub-human" just to specific people as an insult by this point.

Mans ain't perfect, but he's trying and he's working on it. Why is that without Janaff involved in his development? I 'unno, I guess he just had some random offscreen development between the games. With Janaff though? It actually works, fits and makes sense. It feels like that part of his development is meant to be there, as it compliments his development going forward.

that's it that's all i had to say bye now

[yjwhatif]

I would really like to see Bart interact more with the Reach, especially a person who is just a simple civilian. I realized that the members of the Reach people we see in the show always have specific roles or authority and were implied in the plan of conquering earth. [1/3] Sorry I had to cut this question in parts because I have a word limitation on the ask box on tumblr. I realised this part is already pretty self-contained, so sorry again for my wall of text.

That’s a really interesting concept which I’ve never actually thought about at all - but you’re right, surely there must be reach out there that are, or at least, are capable of being good - the same as any other character/sentient being… attitudes and opinions are heavily influenced by environment so if you took a reach who isn’t yet die-hard for the reach cause and taught them the ways of earth while showing them kindness and respect - would that open their mind to appreciating the life of others instead of immediately deeming them as lesser because that’s what they were taught to believe? That would be so fascinating to see explored - especially with this species we know is capable of enslaving humanity and causing the apocalypse of Bart’s timeline whilst also having been the focal antagonist of s2. With that, we’d have to evolve our own associations that the reach as a collective are straight-up villainous, as no one is everyone. Then it would be so compelling to watch how the heroes would adjust/interact with this reach individual and who would be for or against this situation. 

It would be so intriguing to see how Bart would deal with this - I can see him being the one most adamantly against it and while others may eventually warm to things after seeing the reach change for the positive - I can see Bart remaining firm in his beliefs… it would take A LOT to alter that in any way. Unlike anyone else Bart knows precisely what the reach are capable of - he has lived through it, and lost everything because of it - he has enough trauma stocked up related to the reach for him to understandably never be able to dissociate THE REACH from pain, suffering and evil… 

Bart and the Reach is something we have to see again in some way or another… right now I feel like they're the only way we will ever explicitly see Bart's darkness break through his typical chipperness/enthusiasm… I wanna see more of the bart who looked like he was having an internal freak out at the prospect of the reach having returned in s3… I just think it would be really cool to see explored.

Anyway… thank you for your message anon* - I had never considered how interesting a bart and the reach reunion could be but now I'm obsessed and wanna see it happen… also, I'm suddenly very curious and would actually love to learn more about the reach now… like could there, in fact, be good ones out there or are they genuinely just an evil race - surely not, but these are the questions…

LB

(*also, I am so sorry for how delayed this response is - I apparently forgot to post it because it has been finished in my drafts for AGES… so yeah… its a bit late, but my new year was good thanks and I hope you are well. Sorry again.)

[hwsforeignrelations]

I haven't seriously picked up writing in like two years and I'm missing it. Buttttt between classes there's hardly space to breath, so for now I'm gonna flesh out some fic ideas

--

Unconsciously, America expends serious energy into maintaining optimism. In terms of international relations (IR), America is a "liberal". That is, he "believes" IR's inherent anarchy (lack of central authority) encourages cooperation.

((Disclaimer: I'm a subscriber to Mearsheimer's "Offensive Realism". Realism just means IR's anarchy compels competition, and in fact discourages cooperation (whose system's constrain individual state units). Its a better lens through which to explain states' behavior.))

America's (the personification) idealism is one of his most interesting qualities. Unending energy motivated by the ideals he's so successful at convincing himself of (regardless of their validity). Alfred's amazing at convincing himself of things. This self-righteous attitude is the basis of his self worth, makes him incredibly convincing to others (who aren't familiar with his ideas' occasional base-lessness). If you need to motivate a group of troops, he's the man for the job. He believes in the cause, with mayhaps bogus and morally flawed evidence to back up that belief.

Combine that fervent belief with charisma and bottomless enthusiasm, and its makes for one heck of a sports coach.

Because this self-proclaimed liberalism isn't ... actually there, he doesn't act according to its code. He expends unconscious effort into contextualizing events through a liberal lens, and then his actions don't align with that observation.

This thoery is only being used as an example. Basically: America's idealized sense of self creates for an oxymoronic individual, whose never gonna be able to be honest with himself, or with others because his true self is buried beneath centuries of this idealistic persona.

Now that that's established, here's what I wanna explore: What would an existential crisis look like?

America's not dumb, he idealistic. On occasion these unconscious, deeply-rooted illusions of optimism are brought to his attention and through their examination Alfred temporarily looses his sense of self. His actions suddenly aren't defendable, even to himself.

And here's the thing: when America believes something, he has to act on it. His infinite energy is sorely motivated by this self righteous, hero complex.

America does nothing diffident bounds. It's up or down, white or black, good or bad. Its on, or its off.

The might of America's everyday enthusiasm is matched in strength in its reverse. Image the worst depressive episode you've ever seen. The air feels black when you enter the room. There's rotting food, silence like the isolation of empty space. And America's just the biggest black hole of nothingness festering at its centre.

The thing I'm unsure about is how to narrate his thoughts. Alfred's sharp when he wants to be, but self-examination could only occur in these depressive contemplation periods. How would someone narrate this inner dialogue of self-loathing but also necessary examination to reach something approaching realism.

he's ideological, built on millions of oversimplified theories that MUST be blown open in this period to reach something resembling reconciliation.

the struggle would be, for me, describing this all-encompassing depressive void and this self-examination (which requires ALL expendable energy)

----

If you read this far, thanks for reading my brain vomit!! Please leave any and all though on this in the tags, comments, or asks; I'd really appriciate other's thoughts :))

[withlittletrust]

an ode to "Daily Dose of Sunshine"

trigger warning: mentions of suicide, depression, other mental health illnesses and spoilers to “Daily Dose of Sunshine”.

some time ago, i told myself that i wanted to finally share some highlights from last year. why now - almost a quarter of the way through the new year - you may ask. well, no reason in particular. i’ve wanted to do it for a while; i just haven’t gotten around to taking some time to sit down and organize my thoughts until recently. i figured, what better time than now?

the first highlight i’d like to share is probably something unexpected. it is not a place, it is not a moment in time, but it is a piece of art that i discovered sometime last year. shortly after my last birthday, i went on a trip with my beloved sister to strasbourg. she was feeling a bit unwell at that time, so instead of exploring the city until late, we decided it was best to return to the hotel and get some rest.

i turned on netflix because i had nothing else to do, and there it was: a new korean drama, titled “Daily Dose of Sunshine”.

having seen the trailers in passing before, this work was something that i had been looking forward to — albeit not in an overly excited kind of way. in my defense, how was i supposed to know it’s a heartwarming story, when the director made the trailer into some kind of m. night shyamalan situation?

well, i’ve never been more glad to be proven wrong.

this is something i would like to recommend to anyone interested in gaining insight into mental health issues and/or illnesses. it is suitable both as a first point of contact with these topics, and as a deeper, more insightful and eye-opening experience for those already somewhat familiar with them.

this story begins by introducing us to our main protagonist, nurse jung da-eun. she had just transferred from internal medicine, and we got to experience the station through her eyes. ones, that were somewhat unfamiliar with mental illnesses, that is.

now, as a medical student who did a 1,5-month internship in psychiatry, i already somewhat knew what to expect. nurse da-eun, however, understandably felt like she was thrown into cold water. from her first patient who slapped her before proceeding to (while running around naked) urinate in the corridor, causing nurse da-eun to fall and get soaked in (what i presume must have been still lukewarm) smelly kind of human secrete, all the way to being accused of theft and terrorized by a patient dealing with her own trauma, nurse da-eun was overwhelmed.

but all of that did not last too long, because the next moment we see her, she had already found her footing. it wasn’t all too difficult, because she was, at her core, a nurse who loved her job so much and cared deeply about her patients.

maybe, if i’d believed it were a thing, i would have said that she cared a bit too deeply. :-(

it all came crashing down when one of her patients committed suicide. it was a patient whom she had built a great rapport, who was discharged on her (through extensions) recommendations — adding to the guilt she felt. the cherry on top was the fact that this guy called her and asked her to meet up directly before he committed the act — a final request she was unable to fulfil.

depression hit hard.

at first, nurse da-eun tried to bury herself in her work. then, it was days of sleeping and nothing else. ultimately, she was forcefully committed to a psych ward after attempting to run into active traffic, because the pain she felt was so great, she couldn’t feel anything else.

in the psych ward, the first thing she felt was overwhelming anger. toward her mother, the doctor, other nurses, everyone. she was in complete denial - no, she was not depressed. no, other nurses shouldn’t treat her like a patient - she was also a nurse! a psychiatric nurse, goddamnit!

the resolution came slowly, not rushed. not in a, suddenly, everything’s good again, kind of way. not that now she’s happy again, problem solved, kind of way. she had to learn to slowly and painstakingly love herself, to see herself in a kinder way. she made the decision to choose happiness and was willing to put in the work every day, every step of the way.

—

now, WHO estimates that globally 1 out of every 4 people will be impacted by mental illness at some point in their lives. 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression. if you’re lucky enough to have made it through life unscathed so far — well good for you, but there is absolutely no guarantee that it will not happen to you or people closest to you in the future.

i think it’s important to recognize that being healthy is a privilege. while mental illnesses might not be as visible as physical illnesses, they are, as the name suggests, illnesses. just as you need to see a doctor when you get a cold, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often require treatment. the least we can do to help people that are affected is to destigmatize mental illness and promote access to mental healthcare. it is our responsibility as a society to recognize that everyone deserves the opportunity to attain and maintain good health, and it is our responsibility as fellow human beings to fight against the inequalities and disparities associated with having mental illnesses.

obviously, it can sound overwhelming at first. and no one person should bear these burdens alone. i guess what i hope you can takeaway from all of these are the simple things: educate, listen, validate, encourage treatment, and provide emotional support. be decent human beings. call me naïve, but i feel like the world could be a better place if we all followed these principles. <3.

alexa, play imagine by the beatles. :-)

—

bonus part: the juicy stuff

this work also features what is probably my favorite love story of all time. the other half of the pair is made up by one mr. dong go-yoon, a colorectal surgeon who fell for nurse da-eun. he was sweet to her while being a dependable, emotionally stable figure throughout the series. he always seemed to know exactly what to do and what to say, to support her just to be her.

now i have to admit, i initially thought he was somewhat of a weirdo. he received consultation for his ocd, because he couldn’t stop cracking his fingers so much, they became callous. he also seemed kind of like a stalker when regularly hid and waited for her at bus stops. but the later we got into the story, the more admirable and adorable i found him to be.

dr. dong go-yoon was the reason nurse da-eun got the help that she needed.

i mean, i’d like to believe that it probably would’ve happened nonetheless, sooner or later. but he was the actual reason she made a successful recovery. i feel he was a kind person, truly. he always seemed to know how to help, but not in an overbearing kind of way. he always gave her space. he let her figure things out at her own pace.

he also has a love rival in one song yu-chan, but instead of overstepping his boundaries with the childhood best friend of his crush, he deals with it like an (awesome!) adult. he even manages to be a big brother figure for the latter. he has such a kind heart and such wisdom, it leads his brain to be able to reach places i couldn’t even fathom existed.

to conclude, this guy really had the perfect response at all times. he could understand she was still hurting, he didn’t preach even though he probably knew better. he got a black eye getting into a fight with demonstrators who wanted nurse da-eun to be fired for having been admitted into a psych ward. he went out of his way and gets up early to take her on morning walks, because some days, she still stood on the border between depression and hope. but to her, he was someone who visits her before depression ever does (even though he might fall asleep during breakfast time).

it was so heartwarming to see nurse da-eun found someone like him to rely on.

—

tonight, i wish for everyone find love and companionship as solid as what they had. calm and unbothered, with roots so strong, the storms never stood a chance.

—

feel free to strike up a conversation with me regarding this topic! i’m always interested in broadening my knowledge and listening to stories from other people!

[utilitycaster]

Maybe this is too spicy a question, but what is the petty reason for why someone would want Laudna's potential new patron to be The Raven Queen/Vax? I personally don't want to see it because I'm tired of all the C1 connections, but the people who I've seen want it *seem* well intentioned. Why do you think it's so bad?

We'll start with the petty reason, and to be clear, I do not think this is anyone's motivation; I think people want it for reasons that I do not agree with, but are not ill-intentioned. Anyway: for some reason that I truly do not know, a small but loud group of people who are specifically huge fans of Marisha detest Liam. I don't know why, because first, like it or not, no one on Earth or in/en route to the International Space Station is a bigger fan of Keyleth than Liam; and second, I actually find Marisha and Liam to be some of the most similar in the cast in terms of acting/RP style and thematic preferences. So, were Marisha to choose to have Vax as a patron, it would make those people lose their damn minds and this would be funny for a day or so. However, there is nothing else to recommend it and "it would be mean to people I find annoying" isn't a good reason.

As for why I actually think it's bad: I do legitimately think the depth of C1 connections we have already is a problem for "overshadowing Marquet and cutting off more interesting avenues of the story that are in Marquet" reasons (and "many people who did not watch C1 do not have any reason to give a fuck about Vox Machina" reasons). So retreading the same territory, whether it is Vax or the Raven Queen - who was pretty extensively explored as a deity, and the interesting things about her are more in the Calamity-era realm of research rather than as a source of power - is in and of itself very uninteresting. Add that to the fact that I personally find Vax to be like, middle of the pack of Vox Machina as a character and the subsequent idealization of him post-mortem to be generally nauseating (and to be clear: I think he's a good character, I just am more interested by many other members of Vox Machina), and the fact that we've really only explored strong connections to a handful of Prime Deities, and I find myself asking "what if we like, chose to look into every part of the massive world that has been created instead of walking in increasingly tight little circles over ground we've already tread?"

But, more seriously, it belies a complete misunderstanding of The Raven Queen, who hates the undead and sees them as a perversion of life. She's not going to, you know, personally kill Laudna, since Delilah's the problem here; but I highly recommend looking up the Raven Queen's commandments, which boil down to "Death is natural and normal; Undeath is an atrocity to be punished; and those who defy fate must also be punished". Let's be real, Bells Hells are probably already on her watchlist for embarking on this specific resurrection. The Raven Queen is sitting in her domain eating goth popcorn with Vax and saying "you know, I knew I always liked your brother-in-law! He made some salient points back there!"

It is also a complete misunderstanding of Laudna, who is somewhat adrift and has no particular regard for fate nor issues with death. Basically: so long as Laudna is still a Hollow One, it's not happening. If she's returned to life in full it would objectively require a complete warlock subclass change (The Raven Queen is NOT granting powers to an undead, folks, and paladin is actually laughable as a suggestion - setting aside the 5 strength score, Laudna lacks the temperament, at least at this juncture) and significant penance. Honestly shadow sorcerer alone likely already pushes Laudna into "still probably not on the Raven Queen's Nice list", and Otohan Thull is, lest we forget, a Raven Queen worshiper which makes this suggestion even fucking weirder like, Laudna finally gets free of her first murderer to cozy up to the god of her second?

In general: there are quite literally dozens (well. like 2 dozen) more interesting potential warlock patron sources whom we've barely seen, should Laudna wish to make a new pact. Why choose someone we've seen so extensively and who fundamentally conflicts with the core premise of the character?