#i’ll return to my regularly scheduled programming later!

[ultravioletbrit]

“dead” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 357 words

Part 3/5 (part 1, part 2 / part 4, part 5)

“What are you doing?” James asks Regulus after he lets Sirius into the flat.

“Trying to escape.” Regulus says like it’s obvious as he’s trying—and failing—to open James’ window.

“Why?” James asks in a tone that clearly says, ‘what now?’

Regulus stops trying to open the window but doesn’t turn around.

“I still think that’s an imposter and you could be dead any second. Then he’ll try to frame my brother, and he’ll be falsely accused of your murder, all because you opened the damn door when you shouldn’t have.” Regulus squeezes his eyes shut. He knows he’s making this so much worse, but he can’t seem to stop the nonsense that’s spilling out of his mouth.

“This is your brother!?” James asks and Regulus takes a deep breath and turns around.

“Reggie!? What the fuck are you doing here?” Sirius asks Regulus—justifiably shocked—before turning to James. “Do you know each other?”

“Oh yeah, we go way back.” James’ voice is dripping with sarcasm and he rolls his eyes at Sirius then turns to Regulus. “Wait. This is the brother you’re hiding from?” James asks.

“Hiding?” Sirius asks James.

“He barged in here and said he needed to hide from someone.” James starts explaining to Sirius. “He looked kind of panicked, and I thought he might be in trouble or something.” Regulus realizes neither of them are paying attention to him, so he starts to slowly inch his way to the door. “So, I let him stay, but I realized pretty quickly he wasn’t in any real danger. But then I thought he was kind of snarky and he’s gorgeous so…errm… I still let him stay.” James finishes while rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact. This gives Regulus the opening he needs to slip behind Sirius.

“You let a crazy person stay in your flat because you thought he was pretty?” Sirius asks, like James is an idiot. Regulus made it to the door and slowly starts turning the knob. “I swear to God, James, you’re gonna get yourself killed one if these days.” The door clicks open and, “Freeze!”

So close. Regulus thinks.

[peppymintdreams]

pickle, who is scared of spiders, finds a spider in the house and starts flipping out (this is a silly one i fear)

Hmmm

Burn it

Isaac Rhoades x Pickle

The devil has entered the house

Pickle had just settled into the couch, ready for a cozy night of snacks and their favorite TV show, when they spotted it. It was sitting right there on the wall, tiny but menacing, its spindly legs moving ever so slightly as if it were contemplating its next terrifying move.

A spider.

Pickle’s heart skipped a beat. "Oh no. Nope. Absolutely not," they muttered, their eyes wide as saucers as they scooted as far away from the wall as possible, clutching a pillow to their chest like a shield. The spider, of course, seemed oblivious to the drama it had just caused, continuing to creep up the wall with terrifying calmness.

“Isaac!” Pickle shouted, their voice rising in pitch as they stumbled off the couch, nearly tripping over their own feet. “Isaac, there’s a spider!”

Isaac, who had been peacefully working in the next room, poked his head into the doorway, his brows knitting together at the sight of Pickle looking like they were about to stage a full-blown evacuation.

“What now?” he asked, mildly concerned but mostly confused.

Pickle pointed, their arm trembling. “There! On the wall! It’s... it’s HUGE!"

Isaac squinted at the spot Pickle was frantically indicating. He tilted his head. "That? That’s hardly the size of a dime."

“It’s not the size that matters, Isaac!" Pickle exclaimed, hopping from foot to foot as if the spider might leap across the room at any second. "It’s the... the legs! And it’s staring at me!”

Isaac glanced back at the spider, which, if anything, seemed more interested in finding a quiet corner to live its tiny, arachnid life than attacking anyone. Still, seeing the genuine distress on Pickle’s face, he sighed and moved toward the wall.

Pickle, meanwhile, had scrambled up onto the couch, pillow still clutched tightly in their arms. "Just... just get it outside," they pleaded. "And don’t squish it! I don’t want spider guts in the house!"

Isaac couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Pickle practically perched like a frightened cat on the furniture. "Alright, alright," he said, grabbing a nearby cup and a sheet of paper. "No spider guts. Just a peaceful relocation."

With expert precision, Isaac slid the cup over the spider, trapping it against the wall. Pickle watched in tense silence, gripping the pillow like a life preserver.

Once Isaac had the spider safely in the cup, he glanced over at Pickle with a raised eyebrow. "Crisis averted?"

Pickle exhaled loudly, as if they had just survived an epic ordeal. "You’re a hero," they declared, sinking back into the couch with dramatic relief.

Isaac chuckled, walking toward the door with the spider in tow. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll release it back into the wild,” he said, heading outside. “You can go back to your regularly scheduled programming.”

When Isaac returned a moment later, spider-free, Pickle was still sitting on the couch, clearly shaken but starting to calm down. "I don’t know how you do it," they mumbled. "They have, like, eight legs and can climb anything. They’re practically invincible."

Isaac sat down next to them, amused. "You’re making them sound like supervillains. It was just a little spider."

Pickle shuddered. "A little spider with big plans. But thanks for saving me."

Isaac grinned, patting their knee. "Anytime. Spider wrangling is just one of my many talents."

Pickle gave him a playful nudge, finally relaxing again. “Well, you’re hired for life.”

[meltwonu]

❤️‍🔥 𝔩𝔦𝔪𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 ❤️‍🔥

↳ pairing ; ceo!taehyung x fem!reader | mentions of ceo!jungkook x fem!reader

↳ genre&warnings; ceo!au, dom!taehyung, ‼️cheating‼️, dirty talk, blindfolds, angst(bc I'm fucked up ☠️), ‼️unexpected(unwanted) creampies‼️, mentions of impregnation!kink.

↳ notes; YALL!! My first fic back after almost getting unalived and not having internet for almost two weeks! ☠️ Sorry it had to be this way dkjfkdjfh HAHAH After this, I will post a bday mini-fic for Joshua as well! And then my regularly scheduled programming will start in January and yes, that means for all my current fics. I know it’s been a while so it’s gonna take a sec to get back into it and I haven’t been in the best of moods but I’ll do my best! 💕 For now enjoy limited love and I’ll see you tomorrow... Sorry I went crazy on the angst with this one too kdfhskfh 😗💕 I love you and thank you for your support and patience with me! 

♦ so i will follow the light;

that shines from the night

wiping tears from my eyes;

just forget it, forget it

now, you gotta let me go ♦ 

Jungkook packs his overnight bag at 11:03PM on a Friday night.

‘It’s just a weekend business thing,’ He says - eyes downcast at the leather duffle, ‘It’s business, sweetheart. I can’t miss it. It’s important. I’ll make it up to you when I get home.’

And with tired eyes, you nod gently; already mentally out the door before Jungkook can even finish zipping up his bag. 

‘Will you be gone all weekend?’ You ask. 

Jungkook purses his lips - he knows why you ask every single time.

‘No, it... Shouldn’t be that long. I’ll be back by tomorrow night, 6PM. Not a minute later.’ Muttering, he slings the bag over his shoulder as he takes you in, standing by the penthouse bathroom in your silk robe and nothing else.

‘Just... Don’t stay out too late. Bam still needs to be fed. In the morning too. Give him an extra snack for me? Since I can’t take him to the dog park tomorrow.’ He  whispers softly. 

You can only nod in return, eyes following the way Jungkook leaves his black card on the nightstand before he starts to make his way to the door.

‘Tell Taehyung I said hi.’

And you do - in between the feverish kisses and rough touch of Taehyung’s hands when he meets you at the familiar hotel room that you always booked when Jungkook would leave for business trips. 

Taehyung wasted no time before he’d pinned you against the bed sheets; cock sheathed inside your tight warmth as he rocked into you. 

Tonight, he'd brought his favorite silk tie too - dragging it against your skin before he’d tied it gently around your eyes.

“Do you pretend it’s Jungkook when I fuck you like this?” He asks; voice low and gravelly as your walls tighten around him with each skillful thrust of his hips.

“Ngh, n-no... Just... Just you...” You whisper back as your hands find purchase underneath the pillows tucked under your head. 

Jungkook’s cock was longer but Taehyung’s was thicker - both of them bringing you to mind-melting pleasure in different ways.

But it hadn’t always been like this.

“Oh? Not even a little bit?” Taehyung teases back.

It started out as a fluke. 

A one time thing you promised yourself you’d never do again when Jungkook had broken an anniversary date and you’d found comfort in Taehyung - one of his business partners and close friends.

He’d offered his time and you needed the comfort. 

It’d just been ongoing since.

“N-no... Just, T--Taehyung, please...”

Your back arches off of the bed when his cock curves right into your g-spot and he smirks at your lips that ease into a pleasure ‘o’ shape. 

He knew your body better than Jungkook by now, as much as you hated to admit.

‘Can I ask you something?’ Taehyung asks. 

‘Sure.’

‘Why do you stay with Jungkook if he leaves all the time? Doesn’t he know about this...? Us?’

Your tired eyes look past Taehyung to the city skyline illuminating the hotel room.

Jungkook would be back at 6AM and you promised to meet him at the airport before he whisked you away to LA for a holiday the day after.

‘Guess it’s not always about the sex... Love does weird things to me, Taehyung. I love him too much. And he loves me too. Even--even with all of this.’

“Fuck, baby, I’m so close to cumming... You’re so wet and tight around my cock, tonight~ Ah, I can’t hold back...”

Taehyung moans and throws his head back - hips snapping into you as you bite your bottom lip.

“Y’know, it’s officially my birthday now~ Don’t I get a present too?” 

You moan back in return as your brows furrow, “T--Taehyung, d-don’t cum, a-ah, inside m-me...”

“Mm? Why not? Don’t I usually? Or is it because Jungkook is coming back sooner, huh? Don’t want him to catch you with your cunt full of my cum?”

Your walls tighten around him at his filthy words - toes already starting to curl when he starts to double his pace.

And Taehyung doesn’t wait for you to respond before you hear him scoffing.

“Wouldn’t be the first time he caught you like that thought, would it? I should cum inside of you every time we fuck and then maybe you’ll get pregnant~ You know I’d take care of you too, baby. You’d look so good carrying my babies~”

You let out a choked sob as your body rocks against the sheets; mind melting at the way Taehyung’s cock fills you up to the brim.

“I’m, mmnh, f-fuck, s-serious Taehyung, d-don’t cum inside---ah!”

You feel his cock throbbing as he bottoms out completely - grinding against you as he unloads all of his cum inside your hot cunt.

And you feel yourself follow suit as you cum with him; toes curling and sharp cries of his name leaving your lips as your body trembles and quivers underneath his own.

Your body felt warm as he continued to cum inside of you and despite telling him not to, you can feel yourself only wanting more.

“F-fuck, fuck...” Muttering, your walls flutter around his cock as you milk him for all he’s worth - Taehyung already starting to resume his movements as he fucks his cum deeper into your pussy.

“Let’s play a little longer before I let you go home~ Please?” 

And with the blindfold, you can’t see the way Taehyung stares at you longingly - eyes filled with sadness and want as he holds onto you a little tighter. 

He knew it wouldn't last long. 

You cared too much about Jungkook. 

And Taehyung cared too much about you.

“O-okay... I--But I have to go before 8AM... I--I have to feed Bam...”

Taehyung reaches for the blindfold; wiping the dreary look from his face as your eyes adjust to the light. 

“I’ll make sure Jungkook doesn’t see a single hair out of place when you get home.”

[woahsehun]

♡ boyfriend mark ♡

just what I think mark might be like as a boyfriend

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.••*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´

warnings: light swearing, mentions of religion??? idk if that needs to be a warning but I don’t wanna see ANY clowning of mark in the comments I will literally send jaehyun to hit you with a broom

disclaimer: obviously I don’t know mark lmao this is just for fun and if you disagree feel free to politely disagree elsewhere ♡ but I mean comment if you want idc just pls don’t be mean to me I’ll cry

I also tried to keep it gender neutral but I am new to writing these types of scenarios and stuff so if you notice anything that I should change feel free to let me know :)

now back to our regularly scheduled programming

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.••*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´

okay I literally wrote this whole thing and then it disappeared in my drafts so •_•

sigh

anyways mark would be a really good boyfriend obviously (other than him being super busy)

the best friend type of boyfriend

this man would write songs about you and for you ALL.THE.TIME.

his notes app is basically reminders, bible quotes, poems, and unfinished lyrics about you

would also call you dude a lot

in a natural gender neutral kinda way (unless you expressed discomfort)

I shall provide an example scenario:

mark @ you: “dudeeeee look at this video I found”

johnny, later that day: “wait do you call your partner dude?”

mark: “…o_o yeah… why…?”

johnny: “haha, oh, no reason, just wondering”

mark would then proceed to try out different nicknames or pet names for you. it would probably feel weird at first, but if you both found you liked one then I think it would stick

would still call you dude sometimes tho

another thing - he would really love if you hung out with him and the boys. I think it would reassure him if you were comfortable around his friends and it would also show him that they like and trust you, which I think would be a big thing for him

on a more serious note - after hanging out with everyone, for example, when it’s later and more relaxing and y’all are alone would be a vital time to talk about deeper things

not necessarily anything super serious I mean the conversations would still be natural

idk why I’m nervous (maybe nctzens scare me, maybe not 👁👁) so I’m gonna say whatever I want - I think mark would really appreciate if he could talk to you about his faith and beliefs

I mean we kinda know how much his faith means to him and how it intertwines with his work so I think it’s safe to say this would affect his relationships as well

however, I also think he would love to hear about what your beliefs are whether you’re part of an organized religion or not because it’s a part of you, and that’s what he loves so

even if you disagreed he would still like listening to you and would respect your views (and would expect the same in return 😐 that’s right I’m watching you)

idk he seems like a good listener to me

back on a lighter note I wanna talk about a responsibility you have

you know those jokes he tells sometimes and the members (especially the dreamies) just go 👀? 👀? 👀?

MF YOU BETTER LAUGH

if you laugh at those idc if you’ve been dating for only one month he WILL fall in love with you end of story

next topic

mark plays guitar so expect that I’m sure it would be lovely

like if you’re together on a rainy day and can’t go out, aka bored, be ready for some guitar and lyrical freestyling

the type to play mad libs with you so you guys can turn it into a song and will probably try and convince you to perform it with him for the members

anyways y’all would best besties in love and that’s that :)

edit: SIKE, I’m back with more

I’ve been in my mark feels so I we might as well experience this together

he absolutely will not hesitate to rap battle you with no mercy

well, maybe he’d have a little mercy bc you’re just too cute, but he’d probably still win

idk what his love language is but I feel like he would appreciate words of affirmation in some way

he works so hard all the time so I think it would be special to him if you acknowledge that and praise him or tell him you’re proud of him

it’s just a clear and firm way to reassure him and for him to know that he’s doing something right

might be a little shy or cringe about outward affection in front of other people but hear me out with this scenario:

you wake up early/earlier than mark and just can’t help but get up to get some water/coffee/whatever you drink in the morning

so you’re in the kitchen maybe some other boys are meandering around doing their own things too

then, in all his sleepy glory, mark emerges from the warmth of his room. glasses on, his hair sticking out all different directions, and his hoody on slightly crooked

you get up out of your seat as he makes his way towards you

greeting him with a ‘good morning’ you run ur hands through his hair unintentionally smoothing it down in the process

now this man I’m betting is absolutely not paying attention, like he has just regained consciousness over here okay

so his response is kinda just a, “mmmhmhmmmm warmth”, as his body kinda just leans into yours

just remember to catch him bc if u don’t he’ll probably be on the floor lmaooo

I just think sometimes he gets too a point where he’s so tired that he almost forgets to care about being teased and stuff like that

like his hearing blocks out everyone else and in these moments all he sees, and all he wants to see, is you

…

I got real soft just then so I think I’m gonna go lay in a hole now thanks byeee ✌️

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.••*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´

♡ welp that’s all I have for now so thanks to anyone who read this, and I hope everyone has a great day/night! ♡

(✿◕ ‿◕ฺ)ノ``` bye bye ```

[binunus]

college bf!eunwoo

a/n I LOVE HIM !! I WOULD LITERALLY RISK IT ALL FOR HIM !! also rip to the disappointing hookup experience I had that made an appearance in this headcanon...yes I’m still angry about it.

→ pairing: eunwoo x f!reader

→ genre: smut, fluff, fwb to lovers

→ tw: hookup culture, mentions of drinking and drug use, implied almost SA, this is a bit heavy compared to the other ones like please be a cautious a little when you’re reading this

→ word count: 5.6k

_______________________________

here we go ladies and gents

i had something completely different planned for this

and it was super angsty and dramatic

but i had a monumental experience last night so I’m changing this up

and okay okay

i usually try to write all my stuff gender neutral but bc of the idea I have for some of this plot, it’s gonna be a female reader

im sorry to all my male identifying loves :(

and back to our regularly scheduled program

cha motherfuckin eunwoo

lee fuckin dongmin

he doesn’t go by dongmin, he prefers to go by eunwoo, only his family calls him dongmin

as soon as he stepped foot into the university, everyone knew him

and I mean everyone

he’s so attractive

but don’t get it twisted, eunwoo’s the humblest, sweetest bean

he gets very embarrassed when people compliment him for his looks

applied for random roommates his first year and got paired up with swimmer!bin

he and bin become besties and end up rooming together their entire college career

major: music performance, specialty in piano

most people (besides those in the music department or astro) would have never thought eunwoo was a music major, especially since he was incredibly smart and athletic too???

usually gets mistaken for a STEM major

often helps the boys (especially rocky and sanha) with their studies

and oof when he tries out for–and makes it into–the basketball team

everyone ???? floored

eunwoo has game on the court...now with dating??? eh not so much

(at least not sober shh)

he’s tried dating before, at least in the first year or so

the basketball team kept trying to set him up with people

but it never got anywhere substantial and eunwoo always trusted astro to really give the vibe check and no one ever passed

and so he settled for hookup culture every now and then

his emotions are guarded :’(

yes he’s very easy to talk to and always so nice and well mannered

but he’s only himself with astro

now, where do you come into this???

you’re a cheerleader

you and eunwoo know each other by association

you cheer for his home games, you’ve been in a couple of classes together, you’ve seen each other at parties

but would you call yourselves friends?? not really

now you know it’s highly unlikely for you to have a lasting boyfriend in college, especially with your affiliation as a cheerleader, so you also opt for hookup culture

less messy feelings, less drama, less commitment, all that fun

so the first time your paths really intertwine with eunwoo is at a party

the basketball team won a big game and they were out celebrating yuh

and ofc since it’s his team, eunwoo popped out

he only really attends parties hosted by the basketball team bc he feels a bit obligated to go LOL but he always brings swimmer!bin for support 

and it’s chill bc bin is also an athlete–yes it’s exclusive like that

but this time, bin couldn’t go so it’s just eunwoo hanging with his team

and yes, you can guess it, you and him get partnered up to play beer pong together!

that’s so cliche omg

but ah ha you hear your opponent, one of eunwoo’s teammates say to one of your fellow cheerleaders: don’t worry baby, I’ll carry you through this game

and you cringed a little ugh men

eunwoo turns to you like: ah sorry if we lose, it’s all luck with me. The guys usually pick to play me bc I’ll probably lose. I’ll drink the cups for you though if you want me to.

you get a little fired up, like aw why do they pick on him that’s not fair

you: well I’m not horrible at pong, so let’s try to crush em

he played pretty well ok! you both got balls back twice in a row right in the beginning

your team was on a roll

you and eunwoo won three games back to back

you were feeling a bit bloated and hazy from the beer that you and him had to drink, but you were still pretty self aware

and you and eunwoo were just chilling after playing the games, you two were on a pretty good wavelength and you wanted to continue it after joking around in between plays

alright now obviously you don’t go into these parties just strictly looking for a hookup, you go to have fun and let loose

but if the person and situation arises??? you wouldn’t necessarily turn it down, especially if that person was cha eunwoo

and yeah, eunwoo was entertaining the idea too, it’s been a while since he vibed with someone like he has with you

basically by the end of the night, you brought him back to your place–you’d rather eat shit than hook up at the basketball house, it was messy and musty and just nope

your place was closer than his

and ~yuh~

it was pretty damn good

he didn’t stay the night, bc well this was a hookup, so after you both had your fill it was a casual alright see you around!

oh lord the fuss your cheerleading team gave you at the next practice asking how your hookup with eunwoo was

the news spread like wildfire

eunwoo didn’t hook up very often so every time he did, it was like breaking news

which is honestly a bit fucked up, but seriously this is how college is

alright so your sex drive skyrocketed after fucking eunwoo 

you hook up with another guy at one of the following parties

but it didn’t compare to eunwoo rip so you were pretty disappointed

and you were sorta wondering like hm? should you hit him up? but decided against it 

and then! you saw him at the gym working out with literally all of astro

bin probably forced the other 4 to come with him and eunwoo sksksksk

and you were like shit why does he look so good

not gonna lie, just in case he was looking over, you tried to make your ass and tits pop out a bit more, you know squats and shit

unfortunately, it caught the attention of other guys at the gym and not eunwoo grrr

and you were literally just planning to stop being a coward and go up and talk to him, but a guy blocked your path

and he was lowkey being very creepy and way too close for your liking

but you weren’t having it, hell no you ain’t a damsel in distress

being a cheerleader taught you how to defend yourself against predatory men

so you were basically telling him to fuck off and leave you alone, but he was being really damn persistent about it

and just as the guy was about to put a hand on you, eunwoo steps in and he’s like: dude, she’s clearly not interested, fuck off.

after a bit of a stare off, the guy leaves and wow you’re face to face with eunwoo again hehehe

his eyes switch from a glare to a soft worried look and he’s like, hey are you okay?

and you’re like a little giddy, maybe also a little bit turned on bc he’s still like fresh from a workout, his hair was brushed back revealing his forehead, his arm muscles were really defined right now, and just he’s so hot? 

but you smile nonchalantly, you genuinely could have just slapped the shit out of the guy or kicked him right in the baby factory, but eunwoo stepping in was also a pleasant surprise, you weren’t complaining

you: yeah. I could have handled it, but thanks for helping

and he just grins, your confidence?? attractive

the two of you just like look at each other for a couple seconds and you’re yelling at yourself in your head like don’t cop out this is what you were waiting for !!

you: so...you’re here with your friends?

eunwoo: yeah, me and my roommate forced them to come work out with us haha. did you come by yourself?

you: yeah, I usually work out with my teammates, but I decided to come alone today

eunwoo nods and you see him like look at your neck and you immediately get a bit shy bc you knew there was a hickey there from your last (very disappointing) hookup: you’ve been having fun recently?

your face flushes: the last one was embarrassing really, so honest to god no

eunwoo: why was it embarrassing? if...you don’t mind me asking

you immediately facepalm: no, yeah I don’t mind telling you...ugh, eunwoo I was literally catfished. this guy really talked mad game about his dick and then when I agreed to hook up, he asked me to suck him off and it literally only took him less than ten minutes. and after he came, he just pulled up his pants and said “damn you give really good head” like the fuck? he didn’t even offer to return the favor or anything, and when I asked him “wait, are we gonna fuck?” he just said “maybe next time.” maYbE neXt tiMe?? I was played so hard, you have no idea how pissed I was, eunwoo. and now I have to wait for his dumb fucking hickey to heal so that I can literally just repress that hookup even happened.

his jaw literally dropped: he didn’t give you anything?

you shook your head, you were getting pissed again 

eunwoo couldn’t believe his ears, he glances back at astro for a second and then he clears his throat: well...what are you doing after the gym?

you: nothing, just going home and taking a shower. My roommate’s not gonna be home tonight so I’m probably gonna wallow in my sorrows about that hookup again

he laughs: well sounds like you have a fun night planned, but if you want some company?? I’d be more than happy to come over and help you forget about the sad disrespect of that hookup.

who said eunwoo couldn’t flirt ???

and he was thinking about hitting you up again too before but he didn’t wanna seem like a fuckboy or anything

but seeing you defend yourself against the guy?? lowkey was a bit of turn on for him

obviously you agreed hello

eunwoo going up to astro: so uh...imma head out first...I’ll see you guys later. :)

sanha: hyung so scandalous *O*

you and eunwoo fuck again

and after this time, the two of you have a little bit of pillow talk

basically you tell him that fucking him ruined all other guys for you bc he was just that good

and eunwoo usually gets shy from compliments, but his ego with this one??? he felt a bit proud ohohoho

and he’s like: honestly, you’re the only person I’ve fucked in six months, but I gotta agree that our sexual chemistry is pretty good

so where do you two go from there?

friends with benefits baby, full on fuck buddies

you both talk and agree that you two weren’t looking for relationships at the moment, but the sex was good

i’m gonna get into specifics later, but for now a little more plot

obviously, you and eunwoo talk a lot more now that you two were basically fucking each other at least once a week

the guys notice that he’s so much more?? carefree?? less stressed out?? ever since you and him started your little agreement

and they’re already scheming by themselves, like eunwoo would not get into a situation like this unless he trusted you as a person

and at first it was really just, call each other over, have sex, stay for a little bit longer, then leave

neither of you ever stayed the night bc that’s just an unspoken rule

until there was this one party, a group of people were in one of the rooms at the basketball house and they told you to come join them and ~do drugs~

don’t dabble kids, I’m serious

and you were chilling with eunwoo and bin for a bit until they called you over and you were like: wanna try too?

eunwoo and bin didn’t do it obviously, but you were curious so you went and told them you would be back in a bit

eunwoo was worried about you, bin could see it from a mile away

he kept glancing back at the room and one by one people started to come out, but none of them were you

bin nudging eunwoo: go check up on her

eunwoo opens the door to see you being like pinned down on the bed and he turns livid

he pulls the guy off you and punches him right in the face like: what the fuck do you think you’re doing? what did you give her?

you’re noticeably out of it, sobriety? not there

the guy basically laced something in the drug he gave you, omg you were roofied??

bin comes in and he literally has to hold eunwoo back from beating the shit out of the other guy

the two take you back to their apartment and were making sure that you didn’t die or something shit

literally cannot believe the first time you slept over at eunwoo’s place was when you were drugged up

you wake up the next morning, nauseous, body weak, and confused

eunwoo also wakes up because of your movement: hey y/n, are you okay?

you: eunwoo...what...what happened last night??

he sits up and gives you a recount of the party and you just like hug your body tightly when he brings up the drugs and start crying

he’s a bit shocked when he sees your tears, but he just pulls you in for a hug to try and comfort you, obviously that must have been a bit traumatic

eunwoo: hey...it’s okay...I’m just glad I checked up on you before something worse happened

you: I’m such a fucking idiot...I can’t believe I let myself get put in that situation again...no wonder people think I’m a just a dumb whore.

~trauma~

you and him spill your deepest darkest most traumatizing secrets that morning and you just feel more connected to him

you: I honestly never really told anyone...thanks eunwoo, you’re a good friend.

he feels more protective of you after that??

you start hanging around with him and astro more

and the guys really like having you around !!

you’re very easy to get along with, you also joke and tease eunwoo with them, they love you !

you even become really friendly with the other guys’ partners

about half a year into your fuck buddy relationship with eunwoo

everyone: why aren’t you dating y/n yet?

eunwoo: what do you mean?? we’re just friends...with benefits??

before you even know it, you’re spending literally all your time (when you’re not training or practicing or at class) with eunwoo and his friends

you sleep more at eunwoo’s than you do at your own apartment

honestly you two are already acting like a couple

except for the fact that you only kiss each other when you’re fucking, or you don’t hold hands in public, or you don’t say the L word to each other obviously

but the cuddles? the jokes? the hanging out? if you two are seen together there’s still a little form of physical touch––like a hand on the waist, or resting his elbow on your shoulder––something that tells other people that you two are a bit exclusive to each other

and maybe it’s because both of your emotional capacities when it comes to relationships are akin to a pubescent thirteen year old, but you and eunwoo?? don’t really realize that you’re both basically in love with each other

and it’s also the fact that catching feelings in a friends with benefits?? forbidden

but what if both people catch feelings?

you don’t realize you like eunwoo until a year of fucking each other

damn a year?? y’all really suppressed those romantic feelings hard

you and him were hanging out, per usual, but in the piano rooms of the music building

eunwoo had to practice his repertoire for an upcoming performance and you were free so you decided to come along and keep him company

you knew he was a music major and that he played piano, but you never actually heard him play

you were just chilling by the window, scrolling through your phone, and then he just starts playing and your jaw?? literally dropped

it was so intricate and fluid and elegant, you looked over to the keys and his hands just moved so expertly over them

you were put in a trance, it was so beautiful??

and then you look up and his concentration? seriousness? he has honestly never looked more attractive to you than in that moment

and then eunwoo meets your eyes and he smiles a little: is it bad?

you: no, you’re amazing actually...

and your stomach does a triple somersault and your cheeks start heating up, like why is your heart going haywire???

you start spacing out and obviously he notices

eunwoo calls your name and pats the space next to him on the piano bench

eunwoo: what are you thinking of, hm?

you: n-nothing. keep playing, I wanna hear more

and so he does and your heart just won’t chill out, especially now that you’re literally sitting mere centimeters apart from him

he’s still playing and you just can’t stop thinking about how much you want to kiss him–and not in a sexual way

and that honestly scared you, so you panicked and put your hand near his crotch

eunwoo jolts in surprise, but he doesn’t say anything, he just chuckles and continues playing

do you have sex in the piano room to try and distract yourself from whatever you were feeling? yeah

you hide your feelings for a little bit, but the more time you spent with him, the stronger they got, and you honestly didn’t know what to do

so you tried distancing yourself, you gave eunwoo the excuse that cheerleading competitions were coming up–which they were, so it wasn’t a complete lie–and you needed to focus and have time to yourself

it was so weird for you not seeing him and astro all the time, you barely responded to his text messages or calls, and when you saw him around campus, you would immediately try to avoid him, and it hurt but you were ~scared~

eunwoo’s a smart boy, he knew something was off with you

but after a week of trying to contact you, he didn’t wanna seem annoying or a bother, so he tried not to

even though all he wanted was to see you or talk to you, like it was beyond sex at this point

he missed you, he thought he was going to go insane

he didn’t realize his feelings for you until he saw you talking to a guy in the athletic building

he had basketball practice, and you just finished your cheerleading practice

you were talking to this one guy from your philosophy class, basically joking around and talking shit about your professor

and eunwoo saw you smile at something the guy said and he just felt jealous

his fists clenched, he hated seeing you smile and laugh with the guy like how you used to do with him

and it also didn’t help that you and him haven’t really talked in two or three weeks and he just missed you so much :(

he tried not to think about it during his practice, but it didn’t work, he was off his game for this one, even his teammates and coach noticed it

he went back to his place after practice and called over the boys and basically vented his frustrations

jin: eunwoo. you like y/n

eunwoo: I know...fuck what do I do

bin: tell her, obviously

eunwoo: and risk our?? friendship??

myungjun: you’re a fucking idiot if you don’t see that she likes you back

rocky: yeah...I mean why else do you think noona started distancing herself from you?

eunwoo: maybe I’m just feeling like this because we haven’t met up in a while and I saw her talking to that guy and I don’t know? I’m horny?

sanha: hyung...you sound indenial and jealous.

bin: you like her. we’re surprised you didn’t realize this earlier.

anyway, the day of the competition comes, and the guys and their partners decide to pop out and support you

and seeing them actually made you feel so warm, you wave at them brightly and you meet eyes with eunwoo and you smile at him even though the butterflies are back and at full force

the group is so proud watching you and your team compete, their cheers are debatably the loudest and you literally have to stop yourself from laughing in the middle of your routine

your school places first yuh

and after talking with your team and discussing celebration plans, you go to the group

you were having such an adrenaline rush, you immediately run up to eunwoo in a crushing hug and you kiss him

eunwoo doesn’t even hesitate to kiss you back

astro and them: ohohoho hey

you: I’m so happy you all came! I can’t believe we actually won!

you were going to celebrate with your team bc you knew they were throwing a party, but celebrating with eunwoo and astro/their partners seemed way more appealing to you

you all go out to dinner and drink a little bit casually and it’s all such good vibes

you missed hanging around with them all and it just felt so right

eunwoo rested his hand on your thigh the whole time throughout dinner, he missed you alright, and just seeing you so happy with all his friends? he was hooked

when the group parts ways, it’s just you and eunwoo heading back to his place bc bin is spending the night at his partner’s apartment

and honestly the tension is so thick between you two

you barely make it past the door before you’re both latched onto each other, making out and all that steamy stuff

after you have sex, the two of you are having that post-sex cuddle in his bed and your heart is pounding so loud

you: hey...I’m sorry if it was weird that I kissed you earlier at the venue, I don’t really know what came over me, I was just so glad to see you guys

eunwoo: you don’t have to apologize for that y/n...I missed you

you roll around so that your back is to him bc you do not have the strength to look at him in the eyes right now

eunwoo hugs your waist and pulls you in his chest, he’s spooning you and he has no plans on letting you go any time soon

you: uh...eunwoo, I-we-uh maybe we should stop this...thing from going any further

he literally freezes: ...did I do something wrong?

you: no! it’s...I...fuck I don’t know how to say this...I know we’ve been hooking up for a year but just recently I...think I have feelings for you...and it’s not fair for either of us to continue this if we’re not on the same page.

eunwoo: y/n, I–

you’re rambling now, you’re scared of what he has to say: and honestly you’ve become someone I really don’t wanna lose in my life. You’re an amazing person and friend, and I don’t wanna fuck that up by having feelings for you, especially since you probably don’t feel the same. I just...can’t have casual sex with you anymore...I’m sorry, it would break me.

you’re like trying to get up and you tell him that you’re going to go to the party your team’s hosting but he just tightens his grip

eunwoo: don’t go...please

you: eunwoo, I can’t stay here–

eunwoo: you don’t even know what I feel, y/n...why are you so sure that I don’t feel the same way as you?? because I do...honest to god, y/n, I like you so fucking much. the month that you didn’t talk to me was like hell and I don’t ever wanna experience that again. I missed you so much I thought I was going crazy...please don’t go.

you roll around and face him again

you: y-you like me? you’re not just saying that because you want to keep having sex?

eunwoo: I’m not just saying that because of the sex...I promise

you: so...what does that make us now?

eunwoo: well would you do me the honors and be my girlfriend?

god finally you two are dating

you realize that not much really changes after the two of you make it official

the pda does increase though, you actually hold hands and kiss each other in public now

and you two are more cutesy with each other

yes astro pretends to gag whenever they see you act all coupley

petnames!! you call each other baby, sometimes you call him minnie!! as in dongminnie !! im screaming!!

a poster couple, the basketball player and the cheerleader

literally when you’re both wearing your uniforms and you kiss each other, it’s like one of those teen movies

lots of forehead kisses especially right before bed

eunwoo’s a clingy cuddly boy, especially now that you two are together

lots of study dates?? he is a scholar after all

you’re each other’s biggest supporters !! you always go to all of his recitals and basketball games, he always goes to your competitions

he’s very soft okay, will never stop showing you off or telling you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you

the first I love you came shortly in the relationship, and that’s because you’ve known each other a year prior and the feelings were really just building up since then

you were in the piano room again and he was just playing for fun, but you always loved hearing him ~tickle those ivories~

he was playing a song and singing along and you swear you had heart eyes for him, his voice was so soft and gentle and just wow

you’re sitting next to him and you just hug his waist while he’s playing

eunwoo’s smiling so wide and then he’s singing to you 

he doesn’t even get to finish the song, because you’re grabbing his face and kissing him 

he’s laughing in between kisses and you can’t help but laugh with him

grrr he’s so cute!

and then you two are just looking at each other

eunwoo: hm? 

you: I love you, minnie

he doesn’t miss a beat: I love you too, y/n

you and him have a lot of deep talks together, especially right before bed

it’s the time when he can just let out all the frustrations of the day and just be with you

he actually holds a lot of pressure and worries, but knowing that you’re by his side, comforts him a lot

the two of you have so many pictures together it’s so cute

eunwoo’s a bit possessive alright, not in the toxic way, but will he tighten his grip on your waist if a guy seems to be getting a little too friendly with you? yeah

not gonna lie, you get possessive too, it’s hard especially if your boyfriend is cha eunwoo, he’s the fucking perfect package god dammit

you both tell each other that you don’t have to worry about other people bc y’all are just both so whipped for each other

but it’s still cute when either of you are jealous

he’s actually pretty into couple items, but it has to be like minimalistic-style

like matching plain color hoodies or matching pajama sets

will not wear a “he’s mine, she’s mine” shirt or something

but it’s okay bc neither would you sksksk

will he wink at you if he makes a three pointer during his game? yeah.

literally loves when you wear his clothes or fuck, his jersey?? a turn on

and here we go !! I’ve been talking about sex so much but let’s get into it !!

in the beginning, like before you two started dating, when it was just your fuck buddy friendship, it was sexy

and not saying that it’s not sexy now that you two were in a relationship, but before it was just lust

eunwoo’s a freak alright, you can’t convince me otherwise

he’s a little kinky

definitely into food play, you two use whipped cream during foreplay a little too much...

100% into anal

you know how much he loves ass, has a very nice ass himself

and we already been knew, but yes he’s an ass guy

s p a n k i n g

eunwoo seeing you in your cheerleading skirt? immediate turn on

will literally fuck you while you’re wearing your skirt...just your skirt.

alright alright, you have a hand kink...was it awoken by watching eunwoo play piano all the time? yes

does eunwoo use that to his advantage? yes

the amount of times he’s fingered you??? vaginal and anal??? lord have mercy

very much into overstimulation, will keep fingering you until you squirt

and yes im bringing back my the choking kink

literally if his hands make any contact with your neck area, even when he’s just kissing, you will drench

but ugh you and eunwoo making out and you know how he like cups the back of the neck?? i know y’all have seen it from the true beauty kiss scenes, and then it gets heated and his grip just moves to the front and squeezes and when your mouth opens in a gasp, he shoves his tongue down your throat

that’s so sexy

do you like choking on his cock? probably more than you should

does he make you deep throat until tears are literally streaming down your face? most definitely

he loves marking you?? it’s just a tell tale way to show everyone you’re his

he’s a bit feisty...will he manhandle you during sex?? yeah

eunwoo is a dom. I am 100% convinced that he is a dom, you won’t be domming him honey

daddy and babygirl kink...I said it...

okay he’s a bit of an exhibitionist...would probably be down to have sex anywhere as long as you don’t get caught

piano room sex? locker room sex? library sex? movie theater sex? restaurant bathroom sex? yes you’ve done it all

will he finger you while you guys are having a movie night with the guys? yeah

eunwoo’s a tease, he’s a little shit, will tease you until you’re literally in tears begging for him to just do something

favorite position is doggy, it’s the view of the ass for him

although you two both do like experimenting different positions, especially if it has to do with “training your flexibility”

will pull your hair while he’s fucking you from behind, and will plug your asshole with his thumb–don’t knock it until you try it...it’s...a pretty good feeling

sometimes wakes you up by eating you out

very much a giver ugh king

the type to grip your thighs tighter when you try to push him away from overstimulation just to force another orgasm out of you

believe it or not, he’s a gasper/grunter/groaner

nothing is hotter than hearing eunwoo groan right when he’s about to cum oooof grrrr bark bark

okay but soft gentle sex with eunwoo is so passionate

all you feel is the love and sincerity, especially when he’s just looking in your eyes

the love making happens a lot more obviously when you start dating

he’s just so in love with you alright

gives the best and sweetest after care ugh

cleans you up, gives you massages especially if it was a rough session, cuddles you, draws you a bath, brings you water, everything

always makes sure to tell you he loves you after sex

i would risk it all for eunwoo like please ruin my life

anyway

ugh I just wanna put the idea of protective eunwoo during a party in your head

his hand is always on you. waist, thigh, shoulder, anywhere casually

you don’t fight?? but you do argue

arguing is healthy, and you both would rather let it out and bicker with each other in the moment than let it bottle in and build up into something worse

but when you do have a disagreement, no matter how big or small, you two always make sure to never go to bed angry with each other

communication is very important for the both of you

you’re his better half :’) all the things eunwoo struggles with, you help him with it and vice versa

he figured out you were the one for him during one of your deep late night pillow talks

he was worried about what he’d do in the future after graduating, like he was genuinely having a crisis about it

but you just talked so calmly to him: baby, no matter where you end up after graduation or what you end up doing, you’re going to be fine. You’re such a hard worker and I know that you’ll succeed...no matter what, I’ll be here for you minnie. I believe in you, you’re future is going to be great.

and he just kisses you so sweetly: will you be in my future, baby?

you’re smiling and you just giggle at him: if you want me to be...I’d love to be a part of it.

ugh y’all are so whipped for each other !!

astro always teasing you two, even when you’re all older

you and eunwoo are equally ticklish so basically y’all are fucked when they wanna mess with you

both of your families love you and him instantly

they push marriage immediately after you both graduate college

even astro’s like: we know you two are probably gonna tie the knot first...when’s the wedding?

not gonna lie, you and eunwoo probably get married probably 2-3 years after college, pretty young age

sidenote: eunwoo 100% cries at your wedding, especially when he sees you walking down the isle in your dress

and he has huge baby fever so you bet y’all had kids fairly young too

the best dad !! ugh he loves kids !! ugh so domestic

im just gonna say, y’all have beautiful children

trusts bin and jinjin to babysit your kids the most...he’s scared of the rest of the boys watching over his children

anyway eunwoo literally deserves the world and I just?? love him so much?? happy ending yay hehe

_________________________________________

2-21-21

[let-them-read-fics]

Yours Truly (Pt. 1)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: ~ Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Pining, Angst, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! I finally have a few days off, so we're back to our (semi) regularly scheduled programming with this fic! I really hope you enjoy it; lmk what you think :)

PS ~ Once again, I had to split it into two parts to appease the Tumblr Overlords.

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 2 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

1.) A Day In Class

Where does true beauty come from?

Is it strictly based in someone's DNA, rooted entirely in the attractiveness of their features? Or is deeper than that; does it extend from their soul? The very essence of stardust and personality that makes them them? Is it in how they interact with others? How they carry themselves? 

You, being the wannabe philosopher that you are, love hearing people's answers to those questions. Every response is unique in its own way, altered depending on the person asked, and you find that to be one of humanity's most wonderful qualities. Like snowflakes, we're all different; as such is our definition of beauty. It lies in the eye of the beholder, subjective in its nature, and you find that comforting. Just think: if 99% of the world's population found you unattractive, 78,000,000 would beg to differ. 

Though, for one person, you're sure those rules don't apply. She's objectively beautiful, and no one even attempts to pretend otherwise. 

Who, you may ask? Kim Jisoo, of course -- head of your school's student council, resident girl next door, and keeper of your heart. She's poised in every way, and refined to the point that you question if you're even deserving of knowing her. Humor and kindness radiate from her no matter where she goes, so it's really no surprise that so many people love her. 

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to look at your best friend. "Yo, Y/N. What did you get for number 32?" Jeong asks from his seat in the row directly behind you, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Your history professor likely wouldn't take kindly to being interrupted during his lecture, so you choose to show him your answer instead of responding out loud. 

Jeong thanks you and continues to work on the activity you finished nearly 15 minutes ago, leaving you to half-heartedly listen to your professor. You're a good student, but even you have a limit to how much monotonous speaking you can handle in one sitting. As his words drone on, you roll your neck -- intending for the action to relieve some of the tension in your aching muscles; you're in for a surprise, however, when you lock eyes with none other than Jisoo herself. She offers a warm smile and wave, and the innocent actions send swarms of butterflies to take flight in your stomach. After sitting there for a moment, dumbstruck by her beauty, you snap to and return the gesture, making her giggle quietly. 

Huh. So that's what angels sound like, then.

She turns back to her work after a minute, flipping the page every so often as she follows along with the lesson. You take note of how her eyes dart across the materials laid out on her desk, how her fingers mindlessly flirt with the edge of her sleeve in contemplation when she gets to a question that stumps her.

Never have you ever found yourself in such inner turmoil before. The sight before you begs to be seen -- to be admired -- but class continues on. As much as you try to fight it, your resolve eventually crumbles; foreign concepts now falling on fully deaf ears, you allow yourself to be entranced. 

2.) Out In The Square

A Few Hours Later

Throngs of people stretch out before you, everyone making their way to various parts of campus as the blazingly hot sun beats down on them. Some run like their lives depend on it -- likely having overslept or missed campus transit -- while others take their time, catching up with friends and gossiping all the while. The soft pfft of sprinklers set up across the sections of lawn around you can be heard, going off every so often, and occasionally they're followed by the shouts of some unfortunate people getting soaked. 

"You're so lucky, Y/N," Jeong groans from behind you. A grimace sits on his face as he flips through the pages of his Trigonometry book, looking for the reference graphs again. "No more classes for the rest of the week and you don't have any more assignments to finish? Remind me again how to become a teacher's pet, please." You roll your eyes with an amused smile, leaning back on your elbows to talk to him. 

"I'm not a teacher's pet, Jeong. I just do my work on time instead of partying every night." He picks up a leftover piece of bread from the picnic basket that sits to his right and tosses it at you in retaliation to your little remark. 

"I don't care what you say, those parties are always epic. One of these days I'll convince you to come along." 

You shake your head, knowing there's no way you'd willingly attend one of them. From his stories, all those "epic" nights consist of is ridiculously drunken beer pong, sweaty people doing jello shots, and regrets.

"Not in a million years, loser." You say adamantly, not letting him trick himself into believing he's capable of swaying you. 

With one last muttered phrase of, "we'll see about that," he returns to his studies, and you turn your attention elsewhere.

Scattered light filters in through the leaves of the tree you're sitting under, wrapping you in a blanket of warmth as your eyes scan across the crowd again. The sight brings to mind an idea that always fascinates you: everyone you meet is busy creating their own stories, writing and rewriting new possibilities and endings for themselves with each new choice they make. You can hear snippets of their conversations -- see instances of some having their best days while others are living through their worst -- and it really puts things into perspective. Although we may appear as side characters in those books of life that others are writing for themselves, we have no idea what they're going through at any given moment. So, you believe, that makes it all the more important to leave a positive impact on them; whether it be a kind smile, holding the door, or even a simple compliment, you're determined to have your legacy be one rooted in kindness. 

Speaking of kindness in human form…

There she is, you think to yourself, feeling that all too familiar pitter patter of your heart pick up. Jisoo exits Building C, where her latest lecture just ended, and rushes down the stairs with her books in her arms. She's studying to become an actress, as far as you know, and you can't help but smile at the thought; she'll make an amazing star someday. 

You watch as she meets up with 3 other girls, whom you immediately recognize as Lisa, Rosé, and Jennie, and they eagerly bounce their way over to the refreshment truck that one of your school's clubs had been so considerate to hire. It's the perfect day for a cold treat, after all. 

Jisoo's dark hair flows in the gentle breeze that rolls in, looking like silk as it rides the currents. She's gorgeous in every way, and you can't help but be smitten; besides, it's not like you're not alone in your pining. She practically has the entire student body wrapped around her finger. 

"Y/N, don't forget to blink. You're staring pretty hard," Yuqi says, raising up onto her elbow beside Jeong. He laughs with her, but his eyes remain glued to the notebook paper he's scribbling his work onto.

Your eyes dart away following her statement, and you know you've been caught. "I thought you were asleep," you bite back, attempting to hide the blush of embarrassment that's quickly flooding to your cheeks. 

"I was, but I guess my intuition as your best friend woke me up. It's my mission in life to tease you." 

"So I've gathered," you sarcastically smile at each other, making stupid faces like always. 

"You love me," she flips her hair over her shoulder, appearing self-assured with the smirk that tugs at her lips. 

"Do I though? I don't know sometimes..." she socks you in the arm, making you chuckle. 

"All jokes, babe. Don't pout," you pinch her cheek until she grins, and then she begins telling you all about the dream she just had. 

----

Jisoo leads her gang over to one of the nearby tables, making sure to choose her seat strategically. A special someone caught her attention earlier, as they have from the moment she first laid eyes on them months ago, and she hasn't been able to fight the urge to admire them. She watches as they laugh along with something their friend said, tilting their head back as the cheerful noise rings out. She finds herself smiling along, imagining what it would be like to make them laugh like that; it's a uniquely wonderful sound, and she can't help but adore it. 

They lean across the blanket they're sitting on and dig through a picnic basket, retrieving what seems to be a sandwich packaged up in plastic wrap. One of their friends exaggeratedly thanks them, tackling them to the ground in a messy hug with a shout of gratitude that even Jisoo can hear from across the square. 

"Earth to Jisoo!" Jennie says, raising her voice slightly as she snaps her fingers in front of the unnie. The former jolts back to attention with a little jump, clearing her throat to gather her thoughts. 

"You know, you could always go talk to him. I've heard he's sweet." She tells the other girl, noticing the look of longing that's befallen her features. 

"Yeah, Joy has Art with him on Thursdays. I think his name's Jeong or something like that." Lisa butts in before taking another lick of her ice cream. 

Despite being so smart, the girls are really oblivious sometimes; Jisoo wasn't looking at him at all. She was looking at you. 

She doesn't know if now is the right time to tell them that, though. She hasn't officially come out to them, but she isn't afraid that they won't accept her -- she just wants that moment to be special, and sweating in the middle of the campus square doesn't seem like the golden opportunity that she's been hoping for.

"Just eat your treats, knuckleheads." She concludes, taking a spoonful of the shaved ice she opted for instead of ice cream. The truck had multiple types of treats, with all kinds of different toppings and flavorings lining the walls.

"Okay…" Rosé trails off before adding, "but don't say we didn't try to help when you start wishing you had said something later." Jisoo uses her spoon to lower the one that Rosie had raised accusingly at her, reassuring the girl that she'd be fine. 

She knows it's a lie, though; as the 4 of them later toss their trash in the bins and make their way to the student council room, Jisoo sneaks a last wistful glance at you, wishing she would've had the courage to start a conversation.

3.) One Step Closer

Friday, 1:34 PM -- A Few Days Later

"Hey, Minji. How many do we have today?" You wave at what kids have already been dropped off, your presence making their little faces light up with joy. 

Your coworker responds from across the room, tossing a couple stray toys into their labeled baskets to keep the space tidy. "10 or so, I think. The last ones should be arriving soon." You nod and take off your coat, setting your things in one of the small cubbies against the wall just beyond the entrance. 

"Y/N!" A small voice shouts from behind the counter, hidden from view. You smile deeply when you realize who it is, and you quickly dart around the corner to say hello. His chubby hands cover his mouth, but they do little in hiding his adorable grin. "Seungbum! How's my little munchkin?!" He squeals and runs into your arms, giggling loudly when you pick him up and spin him around. His dark hair sways from side to side with the movement, the slight waves sticking out in random places. A few seconds later, he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls back to look at you, settling into your secure hold. 

"Can we play when Jia gets here? I promised her I'd show her the new trick I learned, but I wanna show you, too." 

You smile at the sweet sentiment. "Of course, buddy. As long as you eat well at snack time, we can play however much you want." You raise an eyebrow at him, showing your authority, before saying, "I saw you put your veggies in your pocket last time and skip to dessert, so it'd better not happen again." He lowers his head after realizing he had been caught, and a hint of redness flushes his cheeks in embarrassment. 

"Okay Y/N-yah." 

You tickle him to make sure he knows you aren't mad at him, and soon he's laughing again. "Now, go wash your hands and get settled at the table, please." 

"Yes ma'am." His tiny sneakers squeak against the floor as he races off towards one of the lowered sinks that borders the kitchen wall, and you shake your head with a smile. 

Not even a second later, you feel a soft tug at your pant leg, and you turn around to find the source. 

A head of brilliantly auburn hair is the first thing you see, and its shade compliments the child's outfit perfectly. "Hi sweetheart. Are you new?" You squat down to the young girl's level, noting how she shyly toys with her fingers as they rest in front of her. She nods, the movement so subtle that you almost don't notice it. 

"My name's Y/N, and that awesome lady over there," you lean closer to her and point towards your coworker, "...is Minji. You can stay with us today, or you can play with the others, okay?" She nods again, her mannerisms letting you know just how shy she really is. Gently taking one of her hands, you hold it and look at her with a reassuring smile, asking, "Will you tell me your name?" 

"I'm Aera." She meekly says, only maintaining eye contact for a second or two. 

"That's a beautiful name," you compliment, seeing progress as she lightly smiles at your words. "And I love your bow," you add, touching the delicate material that rests near her ear, nestled into her straight locks. It has cherry blossoms and butterflies on it, all vibrant and neatly colored. 

"Thank you, I picked it out myself." She perks up a bit now, raising her head to look at you with a proud smile. "Wow, really?" You put on an impressed expression, wanting to boost her confidence even more. "You'll have to help me choose one the next time I go shopping, then. You're great at it." The praise makes her chuckle, and her eyes squint into soft crescents in the process. 

After stealing a glance at the table where everyone else has already gathered, you realize that they're waiting on you to start. "Alright, Aera, it's time to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to sit with me, or are you ready to be with the others?" You tilt your head to the side, asking the question softly so she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Having had this job for a while, you've gotten the hang of adjusting your behavior to put them at ease. 

"With you," she says, growing a little timid again at the idea of mingling with them yet. "That's perfectly fine." You reassure her, smiling one more time before standing and leading her to the room. Her hand remains clutched in yours, wiggling around slightly from the height difference as she looks around. 

"Who's ready for some snacks?" Minji asks the group, laughing when they all raise their hands and get excited. Their high pitched voices carry around the room as they discuss what foods they want to trade with each other, and soon everyone is happily munching away. You rub Aera's back sweetly as she eats some cucumber sticks, swinging her feet through the air beneath the short chair you retrieved from the table for her. She looks up into your eyes with a smile, melting your heart with the cuteness of her full cheeks. You squish them before turning away, feeling your 6th sense kick in as you scan your eyes across the rest of the group. 

"Seungbum…" you warn, catching the way he's mischievously eyeing the carrots laid out before him on the table. He pokes at one of them and sighs, eventually giving in as he takes a hesitant bite of it. With some more convincing, he finishes the rest of the pack and gets started on his dessert. 

----

Honestly, you feel sorry for the birds outside.

They must have had hundreds of mini heart attacks upon hearing the somehow earth-shattering roar of the 10 young kids, all blasting out the side door towards the playground. Some of them automatically race towards the swings or slides, while others approach the basket of toys and sports equipment. Aera, however, hangs back, her entire hand wrapped around just a few of your fingers. "What do you wanna do?" She shrugs, looking around at the different activities that the others are already starting. 

"I can push you on the swings, or we could race. There're some monkey bars and a merry-go-round, too, that nobody's using right now." You suggest, hoping to catch her interest with one of them. Her attention snaps up to you at that last option, and she dramatically drops her jaw. "Did you say merry-go-round?" You nod with an amused grin, laughing when she lets out a cute noise of joy. After pointing her in the direction of it, she dashes off ahead of you and makes her way to it, only stopping to make sure you're still coming with her once she gets there.

"Hold on tight, little one." You advise, cheering when she giggles in anticipation. Her chuckles fill the airwaves as you spin the bar around, making sure not to pull too hard and make her too dizzy. You were once a kid, too, though, so you make it a point to add some serious speed every now and then to keep her entertained and happy. You remember playing on these all day when you were her age.

---

"Auntie!" Aera shrieks, excitedly thundering towards the fence that borders the playground. You finish cheering Seungbum on after watching his trick, grinning as he tries to flirt with Jia; she looks impressed. You turn around at Aera's commotion, feeling your eyes practically pop out of your head at who you see standing on the other side. 

"How was your day, my love?" Jisoo asks sweetly, leaning over the metal divider to run a hand through her niece's hair lovingly. She still hasn't noticed your presence, and for that you don't know if you're relieved or saddened. Watching her interact with the young girl is quite adorable, though, and you're distracted from your personal gay panic for the time being. 

"I've had so much fun. And Y/N-yah said she likes my hair clip! I told you this one was prettier than the one with just trees on it!" Aera says smugly, happy to have her decision pay off and prove her aunt wrong. Jisoo tenses up, not expecting to hear your name right now. Seeing that this is her first time picking Aera up, she had no idea you work at the daycare; though she'd be lying to say that it comes as a surprise -- you're a very warm person, so it's no wonder that you're good with kids. 

As per Aera's request, you walk across the playground and join her in front of Jisoo. Now it's your turn to be shy; you sneak a glance at the student council president and immediately feel your cheeks heat up, so you busy yourself by patting Aera on the head. She hugs your leg and settles against your side, causing Jisoo to raise her eyebrows. "I'm impressed, Y/N. She usually doesn't open up to new people very easily." 

"Ah, I'm surprised that such a cool girl like her wanted to hang out with me." You tease, tickling her side lightly when she hides behind the material of your shirt. "Do you want to come in and see what she drew today? She's definitely skilled." You suggest, trying not to sound too hopeful as you muster up the courage to look at Jisoo again. She's already smiling at you, a soft sort of adoration shining in her eyes as they rake over your features. She accepts your offer, and you walk over to the gate to let her in. Aera demands that you carry her, so you scoop her up into your arms as you make your way back into the daycare center. Her head sits on your shoulder, and you can feel her playfully making faces at Jisoo the entire way; her tiny frame jolts with each loud giggle she lets out, and the sound makes you smile. 

---

"Yeah, she was my sidekick for the day." You respond to Jisoo, continuing your conversation as you watch Aera remove her drawing from the cork board that she taped it to earlier. Displaying the kids' artwork is something that you advocated for when you first began working here, and you're so glad you did; they always get excited to share their works. 

"She's a lucky girl, then." She says, doing her best to ignore the feeling of your eyes on her. Focusing on anything other than you is already hard enough for her, but she knows there'd be no hope left if she gives in now. 

"Y/N helped me draw this. She doodled Dalgom in the corner," Aera cheerily says, breaking the slight tension in the air as she approaches the table. Most of the other kids have already been picked up, and Minji's watching the handful that haven't. 

"It's not very good," you cringe, scratching the back of your neck. You've seen him a few times since the beginning of the year, whether it be on walks across campus with Jisoo, or perched on her desk during "bring your pet to class" day. 

"It's adorable; Dalgomie will be honored when I show it to him." Jisoo says with a nod, shutting down your insecurities within a second. You fail to contain the laugh that slips past your lips, disbelief present in your voice as you ask, "You're going to show him?" She looks at you like you have 3 heads. "It would be a disgrace not to."

With a breathy chuckle, you say, "You're so strange. I like it, though." 

Jisoo smiles at that, and the three of you discuss all of the fun things you did that day. Jisoo tells you about the classes she had to sit through, and even how she stepped in gum and had to borrow a pair of Rosé's shoes. 

---

All good things must come to an end, though, and after about half an hour of talking, it was time to say goodbye. 

You lead them out the door and down the sidewalk as per Aera's request, yet again (that child is basically a mini dictator at this point, but she's cute so she gets a free pass). As she rustles around her bag in search of her keys, Jisoo accidentally knocks her earbud case out, sending it tumbling to the ground. "Oh! Here, I'll grab it for you." You kindly offer, stepping past her to retrieve it from the grass. She takes it from you with a word of gratitude uttered in that angelic voice of hers, and you begin your goodbyes upon hearing Minji call your name. 

"I'll see you around, Jisoo. And Aera, I expect to see you next week." You wiggle a finger at the little girl, donning a shocked expression when she pretends to bite it. "Can't you tell we're related?" Jisoo asks with a smile, ruffling her niece's hair. "The resemblance is uncanny," you laugh, watching as both of them join in with you. 

"Y/N, come on!" Minji whines, sounding like a toddler herself. You initially go to brush off her request in order to spend a few more seconds with the two of them, but when she stands in the doorway, entering your line of sight, you see why she's so desperate for your help -- two of the children still waiting on their parents are climbing on her, about to knock her over at any second. Her face is beet red from the effort she's exerting, and her hair is mussed wildly. 

"Oh shhh---" you start, catching yourself when Jisoo widens her eyes at you and goes to cover Aera's ears, "--shiitake mushrooms!" You finish with a nervous smile, gaining a stunned laugh from your crush. "Bye girls; gotta go. I'm on my way, Minji!" You call out like a superhero, running to her aid as fast as your legs will carry you. 

Jisoo watches you wrangle one of the squirmy kids off of her and initiate a tickle fight to distract him and give Minji time to deal with the other one. She smiles like a dork at your actions, realizing she would be content with watching you all day. You're a natural with them, and seeing you in action is something she wishes she had the chance to do more often. With that, she turns around and picks Aera up; the youngster nuzzles into her embrace, lazily slumping onto her after having such a tiring day. As Jisoo goes to take a step forward, she notices something on the ground: a piece of paper. It's been folded neatly many times, and it reminds her of the notes she would always pass to her friends back in elementary school. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she can't resist the urge to pick it up. 

"To The Girl Who'll Never Know I Love Her"

Her eyes scan across the words and she unfolds the note, making sure to keep a steady grip on Aera with her other arm. An almost unnoticeable signature is scribbled in the bottom corner, and she nearly scares Aera by squealing in pleasant surprise. 

It's your name, curled into the letters that are so uniquely yours; the paper must've fallen out of your pocket when you bent down to get her case earlier. 

After buckling her niece into her car seat and climbing into the driver's seat, Jisoo unfolds the note again and begins reading. She's like a giddy kid all over again, and part of her feels bad for giving into temptation. She reasons with herself by promising to give it back to you the next time she sees you, and that manages to rid her conscience of some of the guilt she feels. For now, though, she's eager to see what it contains. 

The first thing to catch her eye is a poem written neatly underneath a doodle of a rabbit, likely serving as some sort of label. Everyone on campus knows of her nickname and resemblance to rabbits, and she can't help but hope that your drawing wasn't simply a coincidence. 

Poison, is what you are

A bittersweet mix, intoxicatingly beautiful 

For one glance from you

Steals every breath I had so foolishly believed was mine to take

For one smile from you

Sends me reeling, falling all over again

She nearly swoons at the words, rereading them multiple times over and imagining you saying them to her. She wonders how the syllables would fall from your lips, which ones you'd stress to alter the meaning into whatever you imagined when you wrote them. Whether or not they're written for her, she may never know; all she's aware of right now is how they make her feel, and how that feeling is one that she never wants to stop experiencing.

4.) Practice Makes Perfect

2 Weeks, 3 Exams, and 1 Mental Breakdown Later

"Coming!" You call out, using all of your strength to push your rolling chair away from your desk and across the room towards the door. 

"Y/N L/N, at your service," you say, doing a little bow in your seat. Upon looking up to see who's in front of you, your eyes lock with the same girl who's been living in your mind rent free ever since you met her. 

"Jisoo!" You announce a little louder than intended, scrambling up into a standing position before kicking the chair backwards. You wince when it collides with something behind you, filling the room with noise as a few of your knick knacks clatter to the floor. Jisoo has to fight to contain the smile on her lips, pursing them as she looks towards the ground so as to not embarrass you. 

It's too late though -- you've already made a fool of yourself, and right in front of your crush, no less. 

"What can I do for you?" You ask, finally relaxing your face from its previously scrunched up position. 

"Are you busy right now? I have a favor to ask and you might be the only person who can help me out." Her eyebrows raise inquisitively at you, quirking up in that special way they always do when she's focusing in class. 

She could ask you to do just about anything, and you'd be agreeing without hesitation; no questions asked. 

"N-no, just doing a little studying is all. How can I help?" You'd normally curse yourself for sounding so shy, but she looks especially gorgeous tonight and you can't even blame yourself for it. The fluorescent bulbs of the dorm's hallway fail to even put a dent in the glow she's radiating, and that's no small feat -- those horrible little things are usually capable of making anyone look bad, and yet, once again, Jisoo manages to break the mold. 

"Mrs. Choi assigned a rehearsal for me tonight, and I need a peer to score how well I do. I trust you to do it." She says, having no idea how much her words are affecting you. 

Review portions of the semester are crucial to every major's success, but arguably none so much as those studying to be actors. The peer and admin reviews that they receive account for a large chunk of their grade, so you can imagine how nerve-racking it would be to put that kind of power in someone else's hands. You're touched that she trusts you with it. 

"I'd love to help, Jisoo. Just curious, though: why don't you have one of the girls help? They probably know more about it than me, after all." Everyone knows how close JenChuLiChaeng are, so her decision to choose you is genuinely intriguing. 

Shit. For some reason, Jisoo hadn't anticipated that you'd ask that question. The thought had never crossed her mind earlier, when she was preoccupied with convincing herself to come in the first place, so she has to think something up on the fly. 

"They're all busy with work. Couldn't afford to lose any precious cramming time, you know?" She says, a hint of nervousness behind the small laugh she lets out. It's uncharacteristic for her, considering she's usually so confident all the time, but you think it's adorable.

"Ryujin's the same way," you tease, turning your head to look at your roommate. She's across the room on her bed, reading through her book as she holds her middle finger up to let you know she heard your comment. "What a sweetie," you coo, blowing a kiss at her that makes her roll her eyes and smile despite herself. She pretends to be hardcore, but after spending the past few months with her you've discovered that she's actually the human embodiment of a cinnamon roll. 

"Well," you say, turning back to Jisoo, "when do you have to start?" 

She pulls her sleeve back to glance at her watch before returning her gaze to you. "Gotta be back at the dorm in 10 minutes." 

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, the inner honor student in you already panicking. "10 minutes?! It's all the way across campus, Jisoo!" 

She laughs at you now, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. "I'm kidding; we still have a couple hours. You should've seen your face, though. Priceless." 

"That's no way to treat someone who practically has your grade resting in their hands." You say smugly, a little smirk playing on your lips when her jaw drops dramatically.

"You wouldn't dare," she narrows her eyes, referencing the notion that you might give her bad marks because of that little prank. 

"Maybe, or maybe not. Perhaps I'll be merciful if you take me to get something to eat first." 

"Food as a peace offering? Alright, I can do that."

You smile, doing a dorky little cheer at that. "Okay, I'll be right out; just give me a second to make myself look presentable." 

Jisoo accepts your words with a curt nod, but she wants to tell you that you already look more than presentable. When you first opened the door earlier and she saw you in your study glasses, she couldn't help but smile like a fool; you're adorable, especially to her, and she wishes you could see that. 

A couple minutes later you exit your dorm and find her leaned up against the hallway wall, her hands fidgeting in front of her. Is she nervous?

"So, where would you like to go?" You ask, pulling the thin material of your jacket over your shoulders. It's lightweight -- seeing as how the weather doesn't call for a large one -- and it feels soft against your skin. 

As the two of you fall into step with each other, she responds, "It's up to you, princess. Since I'm at your mercy and all." Her smirk is visible in your peripheral. 

The nickname causes your heart to flutter in your chest, thudding around even harder than it had before. "U-uh, how about the noodle place?" You suggest, trying not to cringe at the stutter in your voice. You've heard that she likes chicken and ramen, and that shop is known as the best restaurant on campus for it. 

"110%. You know me so well," she says dreamily, batting her eyelashes at you with a silly smile. 

"Called it," you retort, brushing your shoulder off nonchalantly. "Now come on, I'm hungry and ready to spend all of your money." Her hand slips into yours when you reach down for it, almost instinctively, feeling like it was meant to be there all along, and you tug her down the hallway towards the elevator. 

----

"I know! If Mr. Johnson assigns another project like that then I'll politely be jumping out a window." 

Jisoo laughs at how animated you are, even having to stop chewing her mouthful of food momentarily to make sure she doesn't choke. She really loves hanging out with you; you make everything fun, and all of the stress she feels on a daily basis seems to vanish into thin air. 

"I did pretty bad on that last one," Jisoo adds, grimacing as she remembers her score. 

"You literally got a 93 out of 100, shut up." You shake your head with an amused smile, reaching across the table to snatch a piece of gimbap from her plate. 

"Hey--" she goes to yell at you, but her phone vibrates against the table, successfully stopping her. 

"Hello?" She answers, silently starting a chopstick war with you when you reach for another piece. When the person on the other end begins talking, she stops playing in order to concentrate on what they're saying. 

"Did she cancel?" She asks, furrowing her brow as her lips form into a natural pout. She sighs, rubbing her temple gently as the conversation continues. "Okay, I'm out with a friend right now, but you can go ahead and head that way. We'll meet you there. Alright, love you, too. Bye." 

You raise an eyebrow, wordlessly requesting info about what new plan you're being involved in. "That was my brother; the babysitter cancelled on them last minute, so we have to watch Aera for a few hours." Jisoo loves her niece dearly, but she can't deny that she wanted to spend the evening alone with you. She's afraid the little girl will steal all of your attention away, as childish as that may seem. 

"You're such a good person," you compliment, only to frown when she brushes off your words. "I mean it, Jisoo. You always take care of everybody around you; it's admirable. Now take the compliment or I'll team up with Aera later and tease you." 

She rolls her eyes with a smile, saying, "You're gonna do that regardless." 

"That's not the point," you pout, stomping your foot on the ground lightly. 

"Fine; tis I, Jisoo, the greatest person in all of existence. Happy now?" 

"Ecstatic." You beam at her, returning back to your cheery self. "I'll go grab some boxes for us, okay?" She nods, and you scurry off on your mission. 

----

Back At Jisoo's Dorm

Images flash across the large, flatscreen TV mounted to the wall across from you, displaying scenes of whatever cartoon the network decided to air right now. Aera isn't being picky; she's content with sitting in your lap, mindlessly fidgeting with the necklace that loosely dangles from your neck as she remains entranced by the screen. Your arms are around her to make her feel secure, and her small frame racks against you with every sweet giggle she lets out anytime a new joke is told by one of her favorite characters. 

Jisoo observes from the kitchen, leaning back against the countertop to settle in while she waits for Aera's favorite snack to heat up. She watches as you point to various things on the TV, having her name the ones she knows and teaching her others that she doesn't. 

She loves seeing you like this. You're beaming in that special way that sets her heart on fire, and the flames are only fanned when you turn to look at her. Somehow, the sight reminds her of the first time she met you:

It was orientation week -- the beginning of the school year -- and you were taking a tour around campus with some of your friends. You were lucky to have them; you'd only kept in contact with a handful of people from high school, knowing full well that most of those relationships were only rooted in superficiality, never meant to last. But this motley crew was different; they saw you for you, and all of you genuinely enjoyed each other's company. It didn't have the same air of awkward tension as the fake friendships had -- this was real and honest, and you thanked your lucky stars for them on the daily. 

All of you had managed to get into your dream schools, and the reality was bittersweet; you'd all be moving away from each other and beginning your own lives, having less and less time for each other in the process. You were beyond proud of them, and yourself, for that matter, but it still hurt to think that they wouldn't be just a few blocks away anymore. That you couldn't just swing by their house to go on a late night drive through the city like you used to. As exciting as your new experiences were bound to be, part of you was terrified; your life up until now had been fairly safe, creating a little security blanket to protect you from all that life had in store, but now you were on your own and the idea was a bit daunting. The memories you made together comforted you, though, and kept the sadness at bay. 

"Dude, this place is sick. How did you manage to make it in again?"

"Because she's smart, dumbass. We should be asking you that question."

"Ouch, (Friend's Name), that hurt."

"Do you still have those chips from earlier? I'm starving over here."

"Yeah, here, they're in my bag."

Pockets of separate conversations can be heard from behind you, all of your friends chatting away while you walk ahead of them, map and schedule in hand. The campus is fairly large, and with so many buildings and classrooms it's easy to get confused. You continue walking, running a finger along the map to trace the path you intend to take towards the Help Center. 

In your preoccupied state, you don't even realize that you're headed straight for a trash can that sits on the sidewalk, mere seconds away from colliding with it. 

A passerby notices just in the nick of time, reaching an arm out in front of you to prevent the accident with a noise of warning. You tense up, not expecting the sudden interruption, and look up into the eyes of your savior. Her dark orbs peer back at you, an innocent gleam in them when she sees your lips slowly tug into a smile. 

She mirrors your actions, neither of you saying anything yet. You couldn't utter a word even if you wanted to; her beauty leaves you speechless. 

"That was close," she says quietly, only to you. Your friends have almost caught up with you now, still busy with their own conversations, though they'll tease you once they see a gorgeous stranger's arm wrapped around you. 

"Thank you," you breathe out, clearing your throat as you take a step away from her. 

"Ooh, who's this, Y/N?" One of your friends coos, garnering a chorus of childish "oohs" and kissy noises from the others. Why are they so obnoxious?

You apologetically glance at the girl one more time before turning around to respond to them, but she speaks up before you can. 

"Kim Jisoo." She introduces, facing them with a wide smile. It's easy to see that she's done this before; her tone is pleasant and light, not even a hint of hesitancy in it. She's used to being the center of attention; you can tell by the way she carries herself and commands the space. 

"I see you guys are taking a tour, right?" She looks between all of you, though her eyes linger on you for a second too long to be brushed off as 'just friendly'. 

You nod, saying, "I can't find my last class. It's a Gen Ed one; World History, room 435. The map says it's in Complex D, but the room was vacant when we went by."

She listens intently, paying attention to your every word. "They must've handed out the old maps by accident, then. Mr. Johnson had to move rooms to accommodate larger class sizes. When do you have him?" 

You unfold your schedule again, gazing down at the slightly crumpled sheet until your eyes find their target. "Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1PM." 

Upon registering what you said, Jisoo does her best to contain the grin that threatens to spread across her face. "Ah, same as me! I can take you to the room, if you'd like. That way you can find it next week." She offers, pleased by the fact that she'll be seeing you more often. Your cute mannerisms have already thrown her for a loop, and she wants to get to know you better. 

"That would be great." You let out a relieved laugh, releasing the worry you felt; tours are meant to end within 20 minutes or so, and before Jisoo came you were afraid you'd never find your last class. She's saving the day again, it seems. 

"Great, follow me," she smiles warmly, placing a gentle hand on the small of your back to turn you in the right direction. When you give your friends one last glance over your shoulder, you find them giving you thumbs up with smirks on their faces. One of them puckers their lips at you, and you stick your tongue out in return. 

You're not sure what they'll end up doing while you finish your tour, though it'll likely involve either skating or eating fast food. They have each other to keep themselves entertained, so you're not worried about them in the slightest. You make a mental note to text them when you're done to meet up again. 

Jisoo smiles like an idiot when she realizes what's happening behind her, failing miserably to hide it when you spin back around and give your full attention to her. 

"What?" You ask, leaning in closer to her to nudge her shoulder when she looks away, blushing. 

"Nothing," she shakes her head, only to be prompted by you again. "You're just cute, is all." 

You have to use all your power to hold back the squeal you want to let out at hearing that. Kim Jisoo, as you now know her to be, thinks you're cute? You must be dreaming. 

"That's funny, I don't remember turning into a mirror."

"Yah, babo!" She chuckles, not expecting that as she smacks the back of your head with no real force. The two of you share a laugh and continue talking while you make your way to the room.

Beeping sounds from the microwave bring Jisoo back down to Earth, causing the pleasant memory to fade more and more with every incessant signal that cuts through the air. She grabs a couple heat guards and approaches the machine, carefully opening the steaming package and pouring its contents into a big, shareable bowl. Though it may be Aera's favorite food, she'd be damned to not make enough for the two of you as well. After all, keeping her entertained will take plenty of energy. 

"Did this princess order one heaping bowl of popcorn or am I at the wrong castle?" Jisoo plays, padding into the room with a bright smile on her face as she looks over at her niece. The smell of her snack snaps Aera back to reality, making her eyes light up with pure joy as she leaps off of your lap and runs to Jisoo. She wraps her arms around her legs, thanking her in that sweet little voice of hers as she gazes up at her aunt with stars in her eyes. 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She chants, wiggling her body around in excitement. She lets go when Jisoo goes to walk to the couch, following close behind her like an eager puppy. 

She approaches you again, making grabby hands for you to lift her onto your lap even though she's more than capable of getting up there by herself. Nevertheless, you pull her up with a humored grin, watching as she puts her hands in her lap and patiently waits for the two of you to get a bite first. Her ability to follow manners is commendable, though the slight twitch of her lip when she gets a whiff of the food is pretty adorable. 

"Dig in," you say around your mouthful of food, locking eyes with Jisoo when Aera jumps at the opportunity to follow your instructions. You never have to tell her twice when it comes to food. 

"Yep, definitely related." 

Jisoo laughs at your comment, reaching over top of Aera to flick you in the forehead. She shrugs at your pained exclamation, uttering a nonchalant "Sorry, not sorry," as the two of you crack up together.

----

"Y/N, how the hell did you manage to do that?" Jisoo whispers, not bothering to censor herself when she sees Aera fast asleep in your arms. It's not like she could hear her anyway. 

"She was already kinda tired when she got here; I just made sure to get that last little bit of energy out with the games. Have you forgotten that I know a thing or two about kids?" You tease, turning to her with a smile when you finish walking up the short staircase. 

"You don't understand: usually it takes us hours to settle her down. She's just a totally different person around you." 

"Must be my awesomeness." 

"Hmm, must be," Jisoo hums, quietly opening her bedroom door for you and watching as you carefully lay Aera down. You tuck her under the blankets with care, making sure to brush the hair out of her face and adjust her pillow a bit. Jisoo leans against the doorframe, adding the scene before her to her list of reasons for loving you. Seeing you in such a domestic situation gives her baby fever, and she has to push the persistent feeling away. 

"Ready?" You whisper with one last look over your shoulder, giving Jisoo your undivided attention once you confirm that Aera's alright. 

"Let's do it," she says, pulling the door to but not latching it. The two of you will be in the living room, just down the hall, and you want to be able to hear her in case she needs something. So responsible.

You take in the dorm as Jisoo leads you towards your destination, amazed at how much bigger it is than yours and Ryujin's. This one has separate rooms equipped with their own personal bathrooms, a decent kitchen, and, of course, a living area. Clearly, having ties to the school and being president of the student council come with some major perks. Your socked feet pad against the hardwood floor, and you close what little distance is left between Jisoo and yourself to press your body against her back, wrapping your arms around her. She lets out a little noise of surprise, but doesn't protest; she tucks one of her hands into your clasped ones and uses the other to rub your forearm. 

A few moments later you plop down onto the couch and get comfortable on the cushions. Jisoo digs around in her bag that leans against the tv stand, searching for the script of her upcoming production. Her shirt rides up slightly, giving you a perfect view of her beautifully sculpted stomach, and her skin looks ethereal as it glows in the soft lamplight of the room. Embarrassed for admiring her in such a way, you avert your gaze, failing to notice how she subtly bites her lip as she approaches you; she planned that little show, and it worked. 

"Okay, so here's the scoring sheet," she hands you a semi-formal looking paper, along with a pencil and clipboard to use as a stabilizer. "I'll be reading from the first few pages on my own, but I was wondering if you'd fill in for the male lead for some of the other parts? It's a lot easier to get into character if I have someone's energy to feed off of." 

You smile at how cute she sounded with her little rambled request, and nod. "Of course, Jisoo. I doubt I'll be any good, though." She releases a sigh at that, happy to have you agree; her plan is coming along nicely, but there's always room for things to go wrong. 

"I'm sure you're better than you think." 

"Stop sucking up, Chu. Flattery won't make me raise your grade," you warn, pointing the pencil at her sternly. Your tone sends a shiver down her spine, though it goes unnoticed by you. 

"Let's just get started." She concludes, doing her best to keep from getting too flustered under your already watchful eye. 

----

Her show is well underway, caught somewhere towards the end of act two, and you're enthralled by the performance she's giving. The paper that once rested in your lap is marked up with comments of praise and proud annotations to accompany your high scoring, though now it lays forgotten about on the coffee table, serving no purpose any longer. You finished all of the required sections necessary for your peer review, and now you're just enjoying the journey that Jisoo is continuing to take you on. 

You look back up into her eyes after reading off the lines of the character you're filling in for, looking completely unskilled next to the pure talent that she's exuding. She stands from the couch, looking down at you with an exasperated expression as she remains in character. 

"You don't get it!" She raises her voice slightly, though not loud enough to wake Aera. Even while in the intense mindset she has to be in for her character, she keeps one foot in the reality of this world, making sure to behave appropriately. 

"Enlighten me, then." You stand and retort, shifting a bit closer to her after reciting your line. 

"Only when I'm with you do I feel true happiness. Your kind eyes bring me comfort like no other; I'm safe in your arms. For you, my love," she pauses, her eyes brimming with tears from the emotional words she's spent so much time rehearsing. "...there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do." Your breath is held tightly in your throat, and your hands subconsciously grip onto the material of your jeans. 

Only now do you realize how close the two of you have migrated to one another; she's merely a breath away, so close you can feel the warmth radiating from her. You swallow thickly, feeling your nerves come alive with every second that passes in heated silence, neither of you knowing what to do now. You've lost the desire to read your next line, and she doesn't seem too upset by that fact. Her eyes slowly scan over your features, and the lovesick look in them makes you question if she's still in character or slipping out of it. 

After her gaze darts down to your lips and she licks her own without even realizing it, you seriously begin hoping for the latter of the two options.

She searches your face for any sign of refusal as she leans in closer, now bringing her arms up to wrap around your waist and lightly ball the material of your shirt up into her fists. Your hands rest on her shoulders, and you glide your fingertips over her jawline. A singular nod is the last form of consent that you give her before she pulls you closer. 

Her lips ghost over yours, receiving some of the vanilla balm you applied earlier; her breath hitches when you tug at the collar of her university sweater, teasingly taking her bottom lip between your teeth. She wants to savor this moment, so she fights against her urge to dive right in and get lost in you. 

Within seconds, she's kicking herself for that decision. 

"Auntie? Y/N?" Aera calls sleepily from just around the corner, making the two of you spring away from each other. When she appears less than a second later, you realize how close you had been to getting caught. Jisoo refuses to meet your gaze when you look towards her, and that simple action disheartens you a bit.

"Hey, sweetheart. Bad dream?" You ask, using your inference skills after noticing the way that she's clutching her stuffed bunny close to her chest. Her lip trembles as she nods, and the sight breaks your heart. Quickly, you pick her up again, assuring her that she's safe and that you'd slay any monster that dared to hurt her, even in her dreams. A small smile tugs at her lips, and she brings a fist up to rub her eye. "How about this: I'll do a quadruple check of the room for you, and stay with you until you fall asleep. Sound good?" 

She utters a tired, "Yes, Y/N-yah", before laying her head on your shoulder and waving a goodbye towards Jisoo as you take her back to the room. 

Four sweeps of the room and one fight with a ghost later, you tuck her in again and lay a sweet kiss to her forehead. "Love you," she mumbles lazily, making your heart melt. Kids say that phrase quickly, without even realizing the weight that it has, but you're always glad to accept whatever they imagine it to be. Whether she loves you for playing with her, tucking her in, or defending her honor against imaginary monsters, you don't really care all that much -- she loves you in the ways that she knows how, and that's all that matters.

"I love you, too, Aera. Sleep well." You tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and settle against the wall, prepared to come through on your promise. 

----

"Hey," you start, albeit a bit awkwardly. 

"Hey," Jisoo returns, pushing her leftovers from the restaurant around her plate half-heartedly. You approach the marble countertop that she sits behind, silently begging for her to look up at you. 

"Should we talk about earlier?" You quietly ask, picking at imaginary imperfections on the surface of the countertop. 

"What about it?" 

"We practically kissed--"

"It was in the script to do so, Y/N." She says, finally looking up at you. She sounds a bit hostile now, like she's getting defensive for some unknown reason. 

"Oh," the simple utterance is all you can manage, seeing as how your brain is running a mile a minute. You want to ask if it meant anything else to her -- if she would've taken it farther, had Aera not walked in -- but you don't.  Her tone serves as enough of an answer, and you're not sure you could stand to hear her verbalize your fears anyway. 

"Well I guess I should go, then." You retract your hand and put it in your pocket, realizing how stupid you were for thinking she could like you back. She doesn't; she was just in need of a helping hand tonight, and you offered that. You shouldn't have tried to turn it into anything that it wasn't. 

Hearing the disappointment in your voice makes her want to confess right then and there, but something still holds her back -- some force is yelling at her to keep her feelings hidden for fear of rejection. "I can drive you." 

You shake your head. "Nah, it's okay. I'll have Ryujin come get me. You can't leave Aera here and I wouldn't want to have to wake her up just for you to drive me across campus." Jisoo agrees, realizing that she didn't even think about that at first. 

"Goodnight, Jisoo." You say, heading off towards the front door. She returns the gesture, reminding you to be safe as she locks it behind you and watches you dial up your roommate's number. Before long, she pulls into one of the parking spaces in front of the dorm, and the two of you drive away. 

Click Here For Part 2

[lauralifeleaf]

Another Problem: Chapter 10

Back to your regularly scheduled program. Featuring some cute fluff!

I don’t care if the golf scene is overused, I couldn’t think of anything else and I thought it would be cute.

Laura

Violet's POV

It had been almost four weeks since I was put on lockdown and isolated from everyone. As much as I enjoyed not working, I missed chatting with the others. Mike and Vanessa were the only beings besides some staff members I could talk to. They would inform me of what was happening with the others and bring me some things to entertain myself, but I politely refused as I wasn't in the right mindset. This left me to my thoughts which ended up me going into a depressed state for a bit. What made this punishment worse was that I was moved to a secluded room for two weeks with no explanation.

I was finally back in my room, but I started to get sick of being cooped up from inside. As much as I hated the vents, I decided the fresh air was more important than some fear. I sat up from my couch and opened the vent entrance as MM came around to check on me. "What are you doing?" he asked with a stern look. "I need fresh air, so I was going to sneak to the roof." He stayed quiet before he nodded. "You want me to guide you?" I nodded as I climbed inside the vent. Luckily, I had installed lights in MM while I was bored a while back, so he assisted with the darkness. As he led me through the vents, I felt my claustrophobia kicking in. I started to breathe heavily, which MM noticed. "You're almost there. Just go up, and you'll be on the roof." I thanked him as I quickly ascended the vent. I looked and listened to see if anyone was there, opened the vent, and crawled out. I took a deep breath as I looked up at the night sky. "I probably should've brought my sketchbook," I quietly told myself as I walked over to the ledge.

I sat on the ledge and looked out towards the quiet parking lot. I started to get annoyed that I had nothing to do. Finally, I decided to quietly hum one of the band's songs as I thought about what I should do later after returning to my room. Then a thought made me frown a bit as I looked at a car passing the megaplex. What was it like outside the megaplex? After all the time I had been online, I never once thought about leaving, but watching the car pass by with people in it made me long for it. I wanted to go outside the megaplex like the others, but I knew that won't ever happen now, not after what I did to Freddy.

I shook the depressing thought, looked at the stars, and sighed. I started to retreat into my thoughts as I recalled the night of the incident. 'I wondered why Mike reacted the way he did after I told him about my weird dream.' I did try and ask about it whenever he came to do checkups on me during his shift, but he always avoided or changed the subject. At this point, I decided to stop asking him about it and focused on what he had told me the night I went into lockdown.

Flashback

"So, you want me to grab a file from the archives?" I shakily asked Michael. "I know it sounds weird, but this is something essential." I felt myself look into the mirror as I stared at my eyes. They were back to normal, but my left eye, the one hidden behind my hair, would change back to those soulless hues every time I was upset or convened a strong emotion. "What happens if I get caught? What happens to me?" I asked, still staring into the mirror. Mike stayed silent, "Then you'll be deactivated."

I turned my head in dread as I stared at his sorrowful ones. "I'll die?" He looked away, "In a way, yes, but there is a good chance that won't happen." Vanessa walked over and sat next to me as I processed the information. "I know this isn't easy, Violet. You're just going have to trust us on this." "...Can I have time to think about it?" Mike nodded, "I'll give you two months." I stayed silent as Vanessa stood up, holding out an old phone. "Whenever you go through with this, call or text either one of us," Vanessa stated as she placed the old flip phone in my desk drawer before leaving the room.

End of Flashback

I jumped out of my thoughts as the staircase door opened behind me. I panicked and ran to hide behind the vent I came up in. As I hid, I saw Monty and Roxanne fighting. 'Again? How often do they fight?!' "All I'm fucking asking is you go and get her to talk to one of us!" "Why should I? She's yer girlfriend!" he snarled at her. I knew better than to anger Roxanne, but I could tell she was trying to stay calm with the gator. "You don't think I've already tried? I am worried about her, Monty! She has never been this distant with anyone, especially Freddy," she clarified. Monty stayed quiet as he avoided eye contact with Roxanne as she barked in frustration, heading towards the door. "You're such a fucking pain to deal with sometimes, Monty!"

As Roxy slammed the staircase door, Monty punched one of the other vents, leaving a huge dent. I stayed quiet as he kept beating the vent in anger. I was about to sneak back into the vent I hid behind when my watch went off, making me panic to turn it off. "Who's there?!" he roared, scanning the area. Again, I stayed quiet as I covered my mouth to prevent any sounds from escaping my mouth. 'Shit!' I went to peak around the vent to see he was no longer where he was standing. "Well, well, well. I never expected to see ya break a rule, Chere.~" I turned to see him towering above my hidden form. "I-" "Relax, I ain't a snitch... Though it will cost ya to keep my maw shut," he smirked, leaning closer to my face.

I was a stuttering mess as I struggled to form a single word, making me blush at how close his face was. He chuckled at me as he backed up and helped me to my feet. "How 'bout a round of golf? Ya promised me a game when ya got out." My eyes shot at the statement as I nodded idiotically. He smiled as he quickly seized my hand and bolted into the megaplex. Luckily, we avoided the others and staff bots entering the empty attraction. "Stay here," he stated, walking behind the counter with his tail swaying happily. I quietly giggled at him, blushing at how cute it was. As he entered the backroom, I quickly pulled out my new Fazwatch and saw a message from Michael.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

when ur done sneaking around, come 2 my office

don't worry. i'm not mad

just have some news about ur lockdown

also, try to avoid Van

she's in a bad mood tonight

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I replied to him with a thumbs-up emoji as I closed the message, just as Monty came out from the back room. "I assume ya know the rules?" I nodded as he ushered me to the first hole. "Ladies first." I smiled at his gesture and grabbed the club from his hands. He placed my ball down, and I began to line up my club. Though I played once, I was somewhat okay at the game, if I say so myself. I tapped the ball, sending it almost into the hole. "Hmm, not a bad shot." I blushed at his compliment, "Thanks." He grinned just as he walked past me and placed his ball. He hit his ball, sending it across the lane, dodging my ball, and sunk it into the hole. "Fuck yeah!" he calmly exclaimed as his tail wagged excitingly. As I walked to my ball, I giggled, " I shouldn't be surprised that you are good at this game." I tapped my ball, sinking it into the hole. "Well, ya are pretty good yerself, Chere," he stated as we walked to the next hole.

After a couple of holes, I started to forget about the last few weeks and focused on how much fun I was having with Monty. He occasionally did little victory dances when he got a hole in one he scored. That was until we reached Hole 40, which had just been added to the attraction and was next to the newly installed ponds and pools. I had heard that the company had closed the attraction for two weeks to add some new features. However, it still was on theme, with lights under the water shading it to look swampy like Louisiana. "Can I look at the scorecard, Monty?" I asked Monty as we walked over the bridge. He chuckled as he dug through his pocket, "'Course, Chere."

Monty handed me the scorecard as I thanked him. He decided to do some trick shots a few times while we played, resulting in the tie, according to the sheet. "How 'bout we call it here, Chere. It's getting close to openin' time," he suggested. I raised my eyebrow, "It's Saturday, though." He stayed quiet as he stared at the small waterfalls. "Montgomery Gator, are you scared I might beat you at your own game?" I asked him with a smirk. He looked at me in awe as I crossed my arms, emphasizing my confidence. "Where was that sass earlier, Chere? If I had known ya were this confident in winnin', I would've deliberately messed with yer pretty little noggin' back at Hole 1," he flirtatiously responded with a smirk.

Monty came walking forward as I backed myself against one of the trees. He smiled mischievously as he made eye contact while his tail wrapped around my scarred ankle. My heart thumped crazily in my chest as I looked at him with wide eyes. He chuckled as he watched a blush come across my face. Then, as he walked by to place his ball, letting go of my leg in the process. I watched as he hit his ball, sending it past the hole and over the edge into the water. "Shit," he mumbled to himself. As I walked to place my ball, I realized there was no way I would be able to get it in two shots. "Am I allowed to forfeit?" I sheepishly asked. "Nope." "There is no way I can get this in two shots! I would be lucky even to get it in a hole in one," I pleaded. "Should've kept yer mouth shut," he shrugged with a smirk, leaning on his club. I brushed off his smirk as I focused on lining up my shot.

3rd Person POV

Monty saw her struggle to line up the shot, making him smirk mischievously as this was a perfect opportunity to get a bit closer to her. As he walked toward the elf, he chuckled, "Here, let me help ya, Chere." Violet turned to face Montgomery as he drew closer, holding out her club. She assumed he would hit it for her. Instead, he shook his head with a chuckle, "That's not what I meant." He grabbed her hands and positioned her in a stance to help direct her. His muscular arms overlapped her minuscule ones, his broad chest was pressed against her back, while his tail helped modify her footing. He leaned his head down to her face to see she was as red as a tomato. This made the tip of his tail wag a little as he loved how adorable she was when she was flustered.

It was no secret to Monty that he had grown quite attached to the elf. Even after his horrible first meeting with her, she wasn't afraid of him. Even after he had gone and apologized to her a week after their first meeting, she reassured him that she was at fault and should have been paying attention. After that, she made it clear that if he ever needed anything, she would do what she could to help him.

Before long, he contacted her to see if she wanted to hang out with him during his break. She slowly snuck his way into his heart whenever he hung out with her. Every little thing she did to help him made it much harder not to fall for her. She was the only one who didn't get mad or frustrated at him whenever he broke something. Instead, she always tried to help him feel better after a rough day before she was dragged away. Unlike some of his friends, she made him feel like his opinions and feelings mattered. Hell, he just realized he was soft around her when the others weren't around.

"Ya payin' attention? I ain't one to repeat myself." Violet nodded her head as Monty continued to help her. After a few more adjustments, he slowly guided the club back. Then, finally, he tapped the ball hard enough to make it into the hole. He kept his arms around hers after the ball went in, but after a few moments, he let go. He wanted to do more but decided it was probably best he didn't go through with it. He could hear her fans going off and didn't want to make her overheat. His tail let go of her leg as he stepped back, also trying to cool himself off.

Violet's POV

"Well, ya beat me. Congrats," he whispered as he let go of me. I was too flustered to talk or celebrate. I remained standing there as my fans gradually increased speed, barely keeping me cool. 'Why did he do that?! I rather had accepted defeat if he was planning on doing that!' I heard a beep from my watch, snapping me back to reality. I glanced at the time and frowned, acknowledging I should get back before getting in trouble. "I should go before Vanessa finds out I'm-" "Who's there?" yelled someone over the sounds of the rushing water. I glanced at Montgomery as we both realized that it was Vanessa. I was panicking internally with a pale face when Monty snapped me back to reality. "Go hide while I distract 'er," he whispered as he slithered into the river. I heard a shriek a few moments later, alongside yelling, as I concentrated on finding a place to hide.

I hurried behind one of the small waterfalls and looked for someplace to hide. I looked up and saw a few thick pipes I could hide on. I looked around to see if I could use anything to get up there. I looked at the north wall, then back to the pipes, and ran towards the wall. I jumped, kicked off the wall, and grabbed one of the pipes. I swung myself up just as I heard Monty and Vanessa walking towards the waterfall. "I told ya, there ain't anyone here but me. So can ya fuck off?!" Monty looked very annoyed and pissed at her. She stayed quiet as she scanned the area with her flashlight. Finally, she looked up at where I was hiding and swore something under her breath. "I'm not in the mood for this shit," she mumbled as she stormed off. Monty flipped her off from behind, causing me to giggle quietly.

"She's gone, Chere." I peeked out, "I am surprised she didn't notice me up here." He looked up and raised his eyebrow, "How the fuck did ya get up there?" I pointed to the wall, "I used the wall as a stepstool." He smirked, "Clever as always. Now get down before ya get hurt." I smiled as I hopped down, dusting my pants afterward. "I should get back to my room before Vanessa goes down to see I am not there." His smirk was replaced with a bit of annoyance as I mentioned Vanessa, which wasn't surprising at this point. They did fight a lot, and I usually offered to come to deal with the aftermath. "Maybe we can do something like this again? I had a lot of fun," I bashfully said as I played with my hair. "Message me, an' I'll come grab ya," he winked with a small smile. I nodded as I turned to head to Mike's Office. Before I did, I quickly pecked Monty's cheek, making him blush at the sudden action. "See you later, Monty!" I waved while skipping toward the tunnels. He chuckled at me as his tail wagged crazily behind him, "Later, Chere."

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Lucien’s Radio Broadcast Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 电台之约, which has not been released in EN! 🍒

[ This date was released on 17 May 2021 ]

[ PROLOGUE ] 

Part One: A Weekend Arrangement

On the weekend morning, I wake up contentedly, doing a big stretch on the bed. 

Feeling for my phone beside the pillow, I tap on the unread text that was received five minutes ago.

Lucien: Are you awake? Little Lazy Bug.

A small smile involuntary surfaces on my lips. Nuzzling the soft pillow case, I get up at one go, washing my face and brushing my teeth.

After fifteen minutes, I knock on Lucien’s door.

MC: Lucien, it’s me!

Not a moment later, he opens the door, wearing light-coloured home wear that I rarely see, a pair of golden-framed glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

It’s been a while since Lucien and I last saw each other. He has been staying in the research centre recently, and I’ve been busy with filming a new show.

Since we both have a rare break, we made arrangements to meet today.

Lucien: I even thought I’d only get to see you at noon.

Upset, I look at his teasing smile.

MC: In Professor Lucien’s eyes, am I a person who doesn’t keep to her promises? I finally get to see you, so of course I’m seizing every moment.

The arcs at the corners of his lips grow deeper. He turns his body to the side, beckoning me to enter.

Following Lucien into the living room, I see several thick English books left open on the coffee table, and my shoulders droop subconsciously.

MC: Lucien, do you have work to handle today?

Lucien turns around, his eyes curving when he sees my appearance. He walks to me, then lifts my shoulders up gently.

Lucien: Of course not. I finally get to see you, so of course I have to be entirely focused.

-

Part Two: Pondering on the Play

After releasing a secret sigh of relief, I become curious regarding the books on the coffee table. Picking up one of the books, I see its name on the title page - 

MC: “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare”? Are you reading Shakespeare’s works?

Lucien: To be more accurate, I’m selecting a play.

MC: Selecting?

Lucien doesn’t respond to my question, turning around and walking into the kitchen.

Lucien: Are there any plays that you like?

MC: Hm... I can’t think of any that I especially like. All the plays I’ve watched with you seem pretty good. What about you?

Lucien: Do you still remember the play we watched called “André & Dorine”?

[Trivia] André & Dorine depicts the enduring love between an elderly couple as their lives are disrupted, but not overcome, by dementia

MC: I remember! Was it that mime theatre production? I still remember how you pondered over the guitar case on stage for a long time after the performance was over.

Lucien: I wasn’t pondering much. It’s just that after watching it, I felt that life is very short.

Lucien brings over a cup of steaming hot cocoa from the kitchen. He places the cup in my hand naturally, his eyes meeting mine.

Lucien: It has to be spent with the person one loves.

-

Part Three: A Typical Day in the Radio Broadcast Station

The temperature within the house seems to rise along with the the piping hot cocoa. I pat my slightly flushed cheeks, pulling the conversation topic back.

MC: Come to think of it, why do you have to select a play?

Lucien sits down unhurriedly, his tone steady as he gives me an answer which leaves one utterly confused.

Lucien: I need to confess something to Producer MC -

Lucien: I accepted the invitation of another radio broadcast station.

After waiting for Lucien to finish with his short “confession”, I finally understand why he has to select a play.

Two days ago, Lucien received an invitation from the Loveland Radio Broadcast Station to participate in a 520 Special Broadcast Program called “A Day in a Play”.

[Note] 520 stands for 20 May, a day celebrated by the Chinese as another Valentine’s Day. This is because 我爱你 (“wo ai ni” - “I love you”) sounds like the numbers 5, 2, and 0 (“wu er ling”) when said aloud

This program regularly invites theatre fans from various occupations to share their favourite plays, and Lucien is one of them.

Hearing such news bogs me down with mixed feelings. On one hand, I’m silently in awe at the good choice made by the radio station. On the other hand...

I sneak a peek at Lucien. His head is currently lowered as he blows on the steam of the hot cocoa, his expression levelled.

...if I were to get jealous about Lucien agreeing to participate in another show, it’d be an incredibly inconsiderate thing, right?

Just as I think about this, Lucien suddenly lifts his head towards me. He crinkles his eyes into a smile, as though he has completely seen through the little grumblings in my heart from earlier.

Lucien: Oh yes, this show requires me to invite a partner. The Great Producer MC would grace me with her presence, won’t she?

-

[ DATE ]

Lucien: “Come live with me and be my love,”

Lucien: “And we will all the pleasures prove,”

Lucien: “That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,”

Lucien: “Woods, or steepy mountains yields.”

Lucien: “And we will sit upon rocks,”

Lucien: “Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,”

Lucien: “By shallow rivers to whose falls,”

Lucien: “Melodious birds sing madrigals.”

Lucien: “...if these flights thy mind may move,”

Lucien: “Then live with me and be my love.”

Lucien: What do you think about this poem? Do you like it?

Lucien sets down the manuscript in his hand, lifting his eyes slowly.

He’s leaning next to the window of the guest lounge. The warm light of spring falls on his shoulders, creating a mild, brilliant white halo in the air.

A few days ago, Lucien invited me to participate in the 520 Special Broadcast Program called “A Day in a Play”.

The content of this show consists of idle talk related to plays, and it regularly invites theatre fans from various occupations to share about their favourite plays.

The stanza that Lucien just read aloud came from a poem written by a playwright called Christopher Marlowe. 

MC: I like it very much.

Returning to my senses, my expression is sincere as I look at him.

MC: Lucien, have you ever thought of changing occupations and becoming an actor?

When Lucien hears this, his eyes arch into a smile. He walks over, tapping the manuscript gently on the top of my head.

Lucien: An exaggerated compliment would make it lose its sincerity.

Just as I’m about to firmly express my sincerity, I notice from the corner of my eye that there are several markings on Lucien’s manuscript.

Leaning over to get a better look, I realise that those markings are notes taken down on the poem by Lucien with a pen.

I recall how he’s been incredibly busy in the previous period, and how there were many times when I had to remind him to eat...

Even so, he made notes on the manuscript regarding reciting techniques for this show. In my heart, I deeply respect his endless energy. At the same time, I can’t help but be envious.

MC: Does Professor Lucien need to do homework beforehand too?

Lucien: Techniques are required for specialised skills. I’m not a professional at reciting poetry, so of course I need to do my homework beforehand. 

I deliberately fold my arms, letting out quiet “hmph”s.

MC: But you don’t seem to do any preparations as a consultant for Miracle Finder.

Lucien: Since I’m a consultant, I can’t let the producer of the show see me do last minute work.

He draws slightly closer to me, lowering his voice.

Lucien: At a place you can’t see, I’ve always been working hard for you.

The evident slyness in his tone causes my breathing to turn slightly ragged. Clearing my throat, I put some distance between us.

MC: [blushing] That’s not what I meant...

Lucien: I understand.

Meaningful arcs hook the corners of his lips, as though he sees through the feelings in my heart. He tugs me over to sit on the sofa in the guest lounge.

Lucien: Or should I only participate in the shows you produce next time?

MC: ...I’m not asking you to go that far either!

He narrows his eyes and turns his head to the side, pretending to give it some thought. 

Lucien: In that case, I’ll always ask for Producer MC’s opinion before appearing on a show. Is that okay?

I nod, face red from his teasing. All of a sudden, my heart stirs.

MC: Verbal statements can’t be relied upon. Concrete evidence is needed.

I lift my hand, removing the small hair tie on my ponytail. Then, I indicate for Lucien to give me his hand.

He seems to guess what I plan to do. Supporting his chin casually with one hand, he stretches the other hand in front of me.

With a serious expression, I put on the hair tie on his wrist solemnly, as though I’m conducting a formal ceremony.

MC: It shall be the evidence. In future, the Professor Lucien on the big screen will be completely reserved by me!

-

After sitting in the lounge for a while, the director comes over and goes through today’s show schedule with Lucien and I briefly.

The show is segmented into reading letters from theatre fans, reciting monologues from plays, and monologue appreciation, among other things.

In every episode, this show will choose a particular theme of plays, which will then be used to expand on the contents of the show.

In order to be in line with the special day of 520, the theme for this episode has been set as the “possessiveness” between lovers.

As such, the plays and characters we selected are related to “possessiveness”.

The first segment consists of sharing letters from listeners. The show team had collected various reviews of plays from listeners, as well as their personal takeaways from the plays.

There’s only ten minutes before the show begins. Seizing this final free time, I sit in the studio, skimming through these letters briefly.

Some of the letters include analysis spanning over a thousand words on the extreme possessiveness of some classic characters in plays...

Some of the letters created a hearty one-act play based on the word “possessiveness”.

My line of sight roams over these letters, and I can sense someone leaning over from the side.

Lucien: What are you looking at?

MC: Letters from the listeners. Which letter would you like to read later?

Lucien glances at the open letters on the table for a while. Then, the corners of his lips suddenly curve upwards.

Just as I'm about to follow his line of sight, the director gives us a signal from outside, telling us that the countdown to the broadcast is about to begin.

Suppressing my curiosity, Lucien and I begin today’s radio broadcast with the guidance of the host.

-

The segment of reading letters arrives on schedule. I select a satisfactory review of a play to read. Very quickly, it’s almost time for Lucien to read a letter.

Host: Would Professor Lucien be reading an interesting review of a play as well?

Lucien picks up a pink coloured envelope in the middle directly, as though he has long since made a decision.

Lucien: Even though it isn’t a review, ever since I saw this letter before the show, I really wanted to share it with everyone. However, it looks like the owner of this letter is female. If I were to read it, I’m afraid it’d be slightly inappropriate.

Lucien turns over, handing the letter to me.

Lucien: Could I request Producer MC to read it for me?

I blink, taking the letter without knowing what’s going on.

Opening the letter, the childish handwriting brings with it a fragrance as it unfolds before my eyes.

MC: “Hello hosts, I’m a student from junior high.”

Slightly puzzled, I look at Lucien. He smiles slightly, indicating that I should continue reading.

MC: “Recently, I’ve been feeling troubled.”

MC: “Ever since coming to junior high school, my deskmate has been a very playful boy, and he always bullies me.”

MC: “He often tugs on my ponytail, or asks me to give him my seat in the canteen. Even though he gives me snacks, he says that it’s only because he doesn’t want to eat them.”

MC: “While eating his snacks one day, a classmate suddenly teased us and asked if we liked each other. At that time, I was in a fluster and shouted without realising, ‘How could I like him!’”

MC: “Ever since then... my deskmate hasn't spoken to me.”

MC: “I thought I’d be really happy since I’m freed from his bullying. But whenever I see him distributing snacks to other girls, I actually feel the impulse to cry.”

MC: “I even secretly placed his snacks on my own table, pretending that my deskmate gave them to me...”

MC: “ --so that I can attempt to stake my claim in front of other girls.”

MC: “Last week, I watched a stage play, and the experiences of the lead character were somewhat similar to mine.”

MC: “Afterwards, I read the reviews. Everyone was saying that the lead character was fiercely possessive, and a little abnormal...”

MC: “Am I also such a person? What counts as being possessive? Is being possessive truly an illness?”

After reading the last line, I lift my head to meet Lucien’s eyes, giving him a knowing smile.

Host: I didn’t expect Professor Lucien to select such an adorable letter. How would you respond to this young listener’s question?

Lucien: I’m very sorry, but I’m unable to respond. This question might require a consultation with a professional. But I once read a document on concepts in psychology related to “possessiveness”, and I could share it with everyone.

Lucien stretches his hand towards me, and I hand the letter to him in tacit understanding. 

He unfolds the letter, casually lifting his spectacles. Then, he lowers his hand, his fingertips tapping rhythmically on the table.

The sound of tapping stops abruptly. He lifts his hand to support his lips, then tilts his head slightly, as though recalling the contents of the document.

Lucien: The following information is for everyone’s reference. Possessiveness is typically expressed as an exceptional cherishing of the other party, and being concerned about the other party in various aspects of their life.

For some inexplicable reason, along with Lucien’s words, I suddenly recall scenes of myself heading to the research centre to bring him bentos.

Lucien: Only allowing oneself and the other party to have a connection, and not wishing for others to get close to the other party.

My heart once again inexplicably recalls the bitter taste when I heard of Lucien participating in this show. 

Lucien: If one finds that the other party no longer belongs to them, they’d use all sorts of methods to stake their claim.

Lucien appears to deliberately twist his wrist slightly, revealing the small hair tie on it.

...I have a feeling that Lucien is implicitly referring to me. I keep my eyes on Lucien, and can’t help but purse my lips.

He seems to sense my “complaint”, but his eyes remain on the letter in his hand, a smile on his lips tugging upwards.

Lucien: This is simply a definition, and isn’t enough to ascertain the intensity of a person’s possessiveness. However, satisfying one’s possessiveness in an appropriate manner isn’t a bad thing. If possessiveness is unable to obtain a suitable outlet, it’d end up violently engulfing the originally balanced love. Furthermore, possessiveness isn’t a disease.

Lucien sets down the letter. As though sensing my gaze, he turns his head and gives me a slight smile.

Lucien: It accompanies a strong love. It’s a human instinct. 

-

After the letter reading segment, Lucien, as the main guest, has to read a monologue from a certain play in the next segment.

This play narrates an account in mid-century Europe, involving the love story of a wealthy lady and a butler who grew up together since young.

This butler was naturally more intelligent than others, and had a composed temperament. If he were to craft a career for himself, he’d do far better than being a butler.

However, in order stay by the side of his beloved lady, he was willing to remain within the four walls.

The naive wealthy lady didn’t understand the genuine feelings of the butler. Like every other wealthy lady, she looked forward to marrying her own prince. 

But when she was arranged to get married to a wealthy duke, her heart started to waver.

Because the intensity of the butler’s possessiveness went to his head, he eventually poisoned the wealthy lady, then vanished into the night.

With his own hands, he buried the love of his life, and from then on became a fugitive, living a life that was neither dead nor alive.

The monologue that Lucien is about to read is taken from the part after the butler finds out that the lady is inclined to marrying the duke. It’s the first time he reveals the depth of his possessiveness. 

Lucien selected this monologue himself, and I can’t help but anticipate it.

Host: Listeners and friends, we’ll now lend our ears to Professor Lucien -

Lucien nods slightly, tilting his head towards me and blinking slowly. His lowered voice gradually seeps into the earpieces.

Lucien: “I thought she was just a canary which would only sit by the window...”

Lucien: “When the sun rises every morning, she’d be at the glass window, facing the blazing sunlight and preening its feathers to its heart’s content.”

Rich affection is in Lucien’s voice. It’s as though I can see a talented and handsome young man staring at the girl’s back in the room with deep feelings.

Lucien: “Her wings are vibrant and heart-stirring. She spends a lot of time on them, combing them gently with a bristle brush.”

Lucien: “Whenever this happens, I’d stand behind her, carrying a cup of hot tea, waiting for her quietly.”

Lucien: “I know that in this moment, she belongs only to me.”

Lucien’s voice suddenly turns soft and barely discernible. I can’t help but be immersed in it -

The modern studio around me suddenly shifts, as though turning into wooden furniture in Western Europe.

Ripples of colour reflect off the windows and onto the floor, glistening with light. An expensive fragrance of rogue diffuses in the room.

Lucien: “Only I know what she's thinking of, and only I understand everything about her.”

I turn my head to Lucien, who is behind me. He’s wearing a fitting suit, standing at a spot where shadows and light mingle.

Lucien: “We will be forgotten in this place by the world, but the strings of fate will tie us together.”

He suddenly pauses, the intermingling of shadows and light distorting his expression into shreds. He trembles slightly in the darkness.

Lucien: “...before meeting that duke, she was always in front of that glass window, being my bird.”

Lucien: “She should realise that if she were to fly out, she would have cuts and bruises all over from those impetuous dandies.”

Lucien: “She would discover that there is an entire sky of canaries which are just as beautiful and frail as her. Those dandies only have to reach out gently--”

Lucien: “And her beloved feathers would be easily plucked out.”

Lucien: “If this is the ending... if this is the only ending...”

Lucien: “Then her feathers should belong to me.”

When I see his calm and shadowed expression, I hold my breath momentarily.

Lucien: “Only belonging to me.”

The monologue ends.

-

Lucien: In the short span of one minute, you’ve already hesitated to say something to me five times.

Lucien sighs, setting down the cup of water in his hand.

After the monologue ended, the subsequent segments no longer involve the guests that much.

Lucien and I have left the studio earlier, and are sitting on the sofa in the lounge, waiting for the show to officially come to an end.

It’s just that... ever since we stepped out of the studio and I saw Lucien returning to his normal state, my heart has had difficulties making the adjustment.

MC: ...I was just so stunned.

Tickled by the exaggerated tone in my voice, Lucien chuckles softly.

Lucien: I’ll take that as a compliment. 

MC: Of course it’s a compliment! I didn’t expect you to perform so well. You were basically an entirely different person earlier!

Lucien: I was simply portraying the role as I understood it. But I accept Producer MC’s compliment.

He takes a shallow sip of tea calmly, returning to how Lucien typically is, and completely different from the butler he was acting as earlier.

Seeing him like this, a question suddenly surfaces in my heart -

I wonder what Lucien’s possessiveness looks like?

-

Director: Sorry for the wait! The two of you have worked hard today!

After the show ends, the director returns to the lounge, carrying a stack of manuscripts in his hand.

Director: The responses for today’s show are extremely good! Many thanks to Professor Lucien and Miss MC for the spectacular performance!

Lucien: We’re also grateful for your invitation to participate in this show.

Director: Professor Lucien is too polite. Both of you truly did very well. The comment board for the show is filled with positive remarks. To tell you the truth, there’s something I need to ask of the two of you.

The director unfolds the manuscript in his hand. Lucien and I lower our heads to look at it. It’s the script from that earlier play.

Director: We’d like to include a special 520 Easter egg for this episode’s theme. It would be the final scene between the butler and the wealthy lady. Earlier, Professor Lucien’s monologue left a deep impression on the listeners, and the responses were very enthusiastic. If possible, could you and Producer MC record this Easter egg today?

The director clasps his hands together, inviting Lucien sincerely. However, Lucien turns his line of sight to me.

Lucien: My rights to participate in a show belong to this lady. If she agrees, I’ll naturally have no issues with it.

The director looks over in confusion. Just as Lucien is about to showcase the hair tie with a dead serious expression, I hurriedly agree.

MC: Yes! We can!

The director unclasps his hands quickly, preparing for the recording of the Easter egg. Lucien and I remain in the studio to go over the lines.

After familiarising myself with my lines, I lift my head, realising that Lucien is leaning against the sofa, reading the script meticulously and silently.

Seeing him look so serious, I suddenly become curious again.

MC: Lucien, could I ask you a question?

Lucien: Does it have to do with why I agreed to participate in this show?

MC: ...as expected, I can’t hide anything from you.

He sets down the manuscript, grinning as he tidies the hair at my ear.

Lucien: I simply care about you exceptionally. I’m guessing that what you want to know even more is why I’d bring you along to participate in this show.

My eyes widen slightly, and I give him a thumbs up.

He chuckles after seeing this. Waves of gentleness ripple in those eyes that have always been difficult to read.

Lucien: I know that we differ from others in the way we’re always handling our own matters. It’s difficult to meet, much less have each others’ time. I also know that you’re always doing your best to give your free time to me -

Lucien: Bringing me bentos with plenty of dishes, attending conferences when I release new books, and taking me to see the spring day in your eyes.

Lucien: So, I want to tell you that whether or not you can see it, I’m also doing my best to own every moment of your free time.

Lucien: To me, participating in this show is akin to watching a movie together. I simply want it to be a special moment for us which belongs only to you and me. 

He leans down, drawing closer to me, encasing my surroundings with his unique scent.

Looking into his eyes, a wave of gentleness seems to ripple in my heart, and my cheeks flush slightly.

MC: I’ll also do my best to create special moments belonging only to the both of us. I’ll invite Professor Lucien to look forward to them.

Lucien: You being like this is already good enough.

The corners of his eyes turn upwards, and he puts some distance between us.

Lucien: Let’s go over the lines together. The director’s waiting for us to record the Easter egg.

I nod. Taking a deep breath, I return my focus to the script again.

In the final scene between the butler and the wealthy lady, the wealthy lady is holding a love letter she wrote to the duke, naively wanting the butler to polish her writing.

Even though she senses that she shouldn’t let the butler see this letter, he’s the person she trusts most.

In front of the butler, she’s like a young girl experiencing her first awakening of love as she reads the love letter aloud.

The butler, whose unbridled possessiveness and intense jealousy have rushed to his head, finally poisons his beloved in his arms after she reads the final line.

Using a letter from a listener as a prop, I place it in his hand and begin the monologue.

MC: “You must definitely listen to this letter...”

MC: “It contains my heartfelt sincerity. No matter what, I don’t want there to be any mistakes.”

Lucien: "If you read it to me, it will be your first mistake.”

MC: “Please! You’ve never refused anything I ask of you. I’ll just treat it as tacit consent, just like always!”

MC: “Dearest Great Duke...”

MC: “I’m writing this letter to you, and it contains my sincerity...”

Following the script, I read the letter written to the duke.

MC: “...and with this, I look forward to your reply.”

These are the final words on the letter. Following this, there are a series of stage directions.

“The wealthy lady grips her love letter, brimming with anticipation as she stares out of the window. The butler is silent, handing her a cup of hot tea as he usually does.”

“The lady drinks it without putting up any defences, but doesn’t know that he had poisoned this cup. The love letter floats to the ground, and she falls into the butler’s arms.”

“...he speaks into her ear: ‘You belong only to me.’ The canary in his arms twitches for a while, then never stirs again.”

Seeing the tragic ending of this love story, my heart can’t help but sigh.

The butler’s love made him lose his mind. In order to possess his beloved forever, he pushed both himself and her into hell with his own hands.

I recall the scene from before when Lucien was reading the monologue, and how he usually has eyes as calm as a deep pond.

That earlier thought once again surfaces in my mind -

I wonder what Lucien’s possessiveness looks like?

Just when I’m thinking about this, I feel a forceful tug on my arm.

I stumble, then fall into familiar arms. 

Puzzled, I turn my head towards Lucien. A sense of restraint is concealed in his eyes, and the unfathomable dark eyes hold within them intense emotions. 

Lucien: “This letter will never be sent, just as the bird will forever remain in her cage.”

Lucien takes a deep breath, leaning his weight against my body.

I feel scorching breaths on my exposed shoulders, and his hand brushes against my lips gently.

Lucien: “You can only belong to me.”

A familiar scent cages me in his embrace. For a moment, I’m unable to tell if the person before me is the butler who went mad because of love, or if he’s Lucien himself.

I abruptly return to my senses - the performance should already be over.

However, Lucien doesn’t let go of me, as though he hasn’t disengaged from the performance. 

Just as I prepare to remind him that it’s over, he suddenly leans near, leaving a soft kiss at the corner of my lips.

Lucien: Very sweet. I’m referring to the taste of the tea.

Stunned, I look at Lucien - he’s changing the ending of the script...

While he looks at me, the foreign emotions in his eyes suddenly vanish. Then, he crinkles his eyes into a smile, just like how he smiles at me every time.

I already knew that I couldn't hide anything from him.

This is his response to that question I’ve never asked -

Lucien: The person I want to possess will eventually possess me.

🎙 Texts and Moments: here

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[ultravioletbrit]

“betray” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 318 words

Part 2/5 (part 1 / part 3, part 4, part 5)

“Don’t.” Regulus tells James when he moves to open the door.

“What?” James stops mid stride.

“Do not open that door.” Regulus says more firmly and presses his back against the door.

“Err… Pretty sure this is my flat and that’s my best mate. I’m gonna open the door.” James takes another step, and Regulus puts his hand on his chest to stop him, which is a very bad idea because his hand lands on solid muscle and it takes Regulus a herculean effort not to whimper.

“How do you know it’s your best mate? Hmm?” Regulus asks and James looks at him like he’s crazy, which Regulus very well might be. “It could be an imposter pretending to be your best mate, so you’ll open the door and then they’ll kill you on the spot because you didn’t bring a weapon with you.” Regulus internally cringes—he probably even externally cringes—he knows he sounds insane, he’s desperate here.

“Do you bring a weapon with you every time you open the door?” James raises an eyebrow.   

“Yes.” Regulus says simply.

“Move.”

“No.” Regulus crosses his arms over his chest.

James stares at him for half a second then puts his hands on Regulus’ hips and picks him up like he weighs nothing. Regulus yelps and James turns them around and puts Regulus back down. Regulus doesn’t have time to think about how incredibly hot that was or how James’ hands felt on his hips before James is moving to the door again.

“I can’t believe you would betray me like this!” Regulus gasps dramatically, doing his best to sound horrified and heartbroken.

“I don’t even know you!” James says, sounding dumbfounded and aggravated by the entire situation, which… fair.

Regulus looks around for his new escape options and beelines it towards a window as James opens the door.        

“Hey Pads. Just so you know I have a crazy person in my flat right now.”

[morningfears]

Just Right

Rating: PG | Fluffy af!

Summary: “I found a ring today.” and “I’m not moving, your lap is too comfortable.” With tattoo artist!Ash request by Anon.

Word Count: 1.6k (kind of a drabble?)

The tattoo shop was finally closed, the door locked and the main room quiet, after a long day of clients. The shop’s staff had long disappeared, all eager to leave work behind for the night, leaving Ashton sat in his office alone. The hum of the overhead lights and the scratch of his pencil against paper filled the silence that had fallen over the shop and for the first time since unlocking the door at ten that morning, he felt like he could focus on the design he’d been working on.

It was a simple concept and should have been an even simpler design but he’d been stuck for days, unable to get it to turn out the way he’d imagined. It was as if his hands had a mind of their own and he’d grown frustrated. The trashcan beside his desk was filled with crumpled pieces of paper, each a discarded attempt at the design, and the cup full of pencils he kept on the corner of the desk was rapidly emptying but no matter how hard he worked, nothing seemed right.

It had to be perfect, he would accept no less for this particular piece, and he just couldn’t get there.

Ashton had planned on giving himself enough time to work for an hour after closing before leaving to meet you for dinner. It was written in bright green ink on his desk calendar and programmed into his phone, just so the shop assistant wouldn’t accidentally schedule a client for him, and he’d been looking forward to it all day. You’d both been exceptionally busy, new clients and projects piling up, so it was a relief that you’d finally be getting some time to yourselves. However, as the hour dwindled he lost himself in his work and seemed to be making greater progress than he had since starting nearly a week ago.

His eyes ached and his head pounded, the strain of the day settling in, but he didn’t dare slow down as he didn’t want to interrupt his progress. Instead, he focused on finally finishing. He was so wrapped up in his work that he didn’t hear the sound of his cellphone vibrating against his desk, nor did he hear the sound of the back door opening or your shoes hitting the tile floor.

You stood in the doorway of his office for a long moment, arms folded over your chest and a fond smile on your lips, to watch him work. His eyebrows furrowed and his tongue darted out to wet his lips as he shaded in the drawing. His hands were covered in graphite, stained from the work he’d done, and you smiled at the sight. Seeing him at work, watching as he drew or tattooed, was one of your favorite sights and you always considered yourself lucky to be able to witness it so regularly.

You remained unnoticed for far longer than you thought you would but the scent of Thai food finally overwhelmed Ashton enough that he lifted his head and blinked in surprise to see you standing in the doorway. He looked confused, but happy to see you, until realization hit him.

“Fuck, I missed dinner, didn’t I?” He frowned, dropping his pencil and reaching to rub his eyes before he caught sight of the mess on his hands and grimaced.

“Technically, no. I’ve got dinner right here.” You held up a plastic bag filled with your usual orders before you stepped into his office and crossed the room to place it onto his desk.

“I’m sorry, doll. I’ve been stuck on this drawing for so long and I finally got it to start looking the way I wanted.” He reached out for you and, despite the stains on his hands, you took his hand and let him pull you to stand between his legs. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you laughed, giggling as his hands found your hips. “Don’t worry about it. The restaurant was crowded, anyway. People were waiting for tables so I figured it’d be nicer to eat here where we don’t have to rush. Can I see what you’re working on?”

Ashton reached around you, quickly piling a few pieces of paper on top of the sheet he’d been drawing on, before he grinned at you. “Nope. Not yet. Don’t want you to see this one until it’s finished.” He did that, every now and then, and though you hated not being able to see the progress he made, you respected his desire to keep his work private until he was ready. So, with a pout, you nodded and reached behind you to grab the bag of food.

“Oh, alright. Well, if I can’t see your work, you can at least take a few minutes to have dinner with me.” 

Ashton laughed as he released you from his grasp and watched as you wandered around his office, grabbing the utensils you’d left stashed in a cabinet for nights like this. You often ended up here, having dinner with him at his desk after work, and though you appreciated the nights that saw you both dressed up and hitting the town, you treasured any moment you got him to yourself.

As you moved about the office, gathering utensils and two drinks from the mini fridge in the corner, Ashton watched you with a fond smile of his own. You were so good to him, even when he did something stupid like forget the dinner date you’d been planning all week, and he loved you more than he ever thought himself capable of.

Without thinking about it, he announced, “I found a ring today.”

It was no secret that Ashton was going to propose. You’d talked about marriage at length, confirmed that marriage was in the cards for you both, and knew that you were both ready. He’d been searching for a ring, one that was exactly what you wanted, and it seemed that he’d finally found one.

“I thought you spent the day at the shop,” you hummed as you returned to the desk and allowed Ashton to pull you down onto his lap.

“I left to get lunch for everyone. Found a shop I hadn’t tried before.” He took the box of noodles from you and pressed a kiss to your temple as a ‘thank you’ when he opened it to find his favorite dish inside.

“So, I should stay away from your sock drawer, then?”

“I’ll show it to you, if you want. That way I can make sure you like it before I propose,” he joked before he took a bite of noodles. 

“Mm, I think I’d prefer to be surprised. I’m sure it’s going to be perfect, you picked it out.”

“Hey, I’m the cheesy one.” He laughed, nudging your side with his elbow, before he nodded. “Thank you for the vote of confidence. I appreciate it. The boys approve.”

“I’m glad. You figure out who’s going to be the best man yet or are you just going to toss their names into a hat and leave it to chance?” You grinned at him, your question ending in a laugh as his own face fell and he released a groan.

“Can I just have three best men?”

“Your three best men are, like, most of our wedding guests, babe. Gotta make some decisions.” You reached out to pat his shoulder and he laughed as he nodded in agreement.

The pair of you had already started planning your wedding, including the guest list, and had settled on a small affair with close friends and family. You knew that he would end up choosing one of the boys sooner or later and you were in no hurry, you weren’t even officially engaged yet, so you let him remain undecided for the time being.

You moved on to a different topic, opting to catch up on what you’d missed in one another’s lives, as you finished eating. You sat comfortably on his lap, content to remain there until it was time to head home, and Ashton noticed as you both placed your empty containers onto the desk.

“I wanted to finish this up before we head home. Do you want to go ahead or wait here?”

“I’m not moving,” you mumbled, turning to place your head in the crook of his neck, “your lap is too comfortable. Can you draw with me here?”

It was, by no means, a comfortable position to draw in but it was possible. And you hadn’t had much time to just be together in recent days so Ashton nodded. “Sure, doll. Just promise you won’t look?”

He rarely made you promise not to look at his work so you nodded, content to keep your head buried against his neck where you could smell the cologne on his skin. “Promise. I’m just gonna close my eyes. If I fall asleep, just wake me up whenever you’re ready to go.”

He knew that you would be asleep in minutes, you hadn’t slept much lately, but that was alright. It’d keep you from looking and ruining the surprise. He was waiting for the right moment to propose, that much you knew, but what you didn’t know was that he was that he was working on a print for you. You were opposed to the idea of a tattoo for a significant other, you firmly believed it was bad luck, but you loved his art so he wanted to give you something special. It wouldn’t be inked onto your skin but it would be permanent enough, framed and hopefully displayed in your future home, and that was enough.

Everything finally felt just right and Ashton was proud to finally know what love really was.

____________________________________________________

Author’s Note: I love the idea that there’s complete communication about something as big as a proposal. Like, a surprise is nice, but knowing that it’s coming and being open about it is important, I think. I don’t know. Anyway, I’m. still working on drabbles, promise. I haven’t written Ash in so long, I missed my boy.

Tag List (like this post or message me if you want to be added!) : @toolazymyguy , @irwinkitten , @jamieebabiee , @glittersluke , @spicycal , @lusbaby , @everyscarisahealingplace, @brokenvirtualheartcollector , @if-it-rains-it-pours, @blisshemmings , @calumscalm , @lovemenowseemenever , @ijustreallylovezebras , @rhiannonmichelle, @p0laroidpictures , @tomscuddles , @loverofmineluke , @harrytreatspeoplewithkindnesss , @blueviiolence , @loveroflrh , @empathycth , @luckyduckydoo , @tobefalling , @bandsandbooksaremykink , @watch-how-she-burns , @megz1985, @wokeupinaustralia , @lucidlrh , @canterburyfiction , @cal-is-not-on-branding , @t-i-n-y-d-i-n-o , @jaacknaano , @findingliam-o , @mindkaleidoscope​ , @idk-who-i-am-anymore1 , @sammyrenae68 , @flowerthug , @calumsphile , @caitdaniels, @drummerboy794 , @writingfortoomanyfandoms , @x-lover-of-mine-x , @miliefayy , @sunaaii , @canterburyfiction , @sebrox40 , @nati-nn , @opheliaaurora23 , @bitterbethany , @sunnysidesblog​ , @333-xx​ , @thesubtweeter​, @zhangyixingxing1​

[enderkingdubs]

Day 8 is complete (albeit, a touch late), and I’ll be real, I think I’m gonna do two more of these and then I’m out. It’s been fun, but I just don’t have the time to draw for 2-3 hours every day.

I’m following @slylock-syl‘s Inktober template which can be found here.

Anyway, today’s theme was “Eyeball” and this is one the first ones in a while that I went in knowing a day in advance what I was gonna do. There have been several stories I’ve seen in which Undyne gets a replacement eye of some kind (usually through alphys), so I figured that Undyne would probably like to play with it around people, super proud of it, despite Alphys constantly saying that it’s unsanitary and could cause an infection. I actually got this idea when I recalled a story my Dad told me. He had an uncle who had a Glass Eye and he loved to mess with people using it. It was really cool story, and I thought it was totally something Undyne would do. I also wanted to take a step away from the darker interpretations, especially with Day 6 and 7 being so dark (we will be returning to our regularly scheduled programming on Day 9 and 10, however). And yes, I did get a little lazy with the background and just copy-pasted a high-res sprite grab of the Lab from the game, but I swear, Undyne’s hair took five million years to draw, but it was worth it.

-Zane

P.S will reblog later with a link to a speed paint I recorded.

[elmidol]

Error: Program Not Found - Three

Summary:  You are in charge of programming the droids that work most closely with both General Hux and Kylo Ren. Unbeknownst to you, each of these two men have it in their heads that your relationship extends beyond the workplace. This causes things to escalate quickly when your two apparently secret boyfriends compare notes on their respective partner who is far too similar for their liking.

Read on AO3

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.” -Charles Dickens

Three: Suspicion

Handwritten notes were not common anymore, which meant that those who wrote them with such fluid legibility earned your immediate respect. There was a precision to the individual letters on the note that you had in your possession that, no matter its age, stood out on the yellowing paper. It was a note that had been from one of your instructors in grade school to your parents, and within the text was a recommendation that your interest in droids and coding be nurtured. At that young age, you had wanted to know more about those subjects, however how you had envisioned your future had been on a farm or mortuary. The latter had been discouraged by those around you, although you to this day did not know why. Not that you weren’t grateful seeing as how you did love your job. This past interest in mortuary work allowed you to better appreciate grim humor such as what Kylo Ren possessed. The note, meanwhile, was one that you kept whenever you asked yourself why you were there. Bad days happened to everyone. Mistakes occurred. It did not mean you had to quit.

 One of the maintenance leads had done an exemplary job of chewing you a new one upon discovering the extra work that was required to fix TeeArr. He placed the blame on you that the droid had been damaged to begin with. Your droid’s programming was flawed according to him. His opinion was similar with General Hux’s in that a freethinking droid had limited use. The point was to have assistance, not some friend.

 A slave, you thought with a sigh. It was not that you disagreed that some of the more robotic droids were not to be considered sentient. The training droids, for one, did not spark any emotional attachment in you. As for others, like TeeArr, it was different. Artificial Intelligence was intelligence all the same. Allowing for personalities to develop was not a means of you replacing the human race or any alien species. They were companions. Happy to complete tasks for their Makers and those that owned them. You were able to tell a lot about a person based on how they treated droids. That idea was paraphrased in the handwritten note that you had kept all these years. Being referred to as intellectual and kind together, that had touched you.

 The note was tucked away in the quarters that you had been given. Still, you conjured it up in your mind’s eye and reread the words that you had long since memorized. While doing so, you lifted the bland ration bar to your mouth, took a bite, and then washed it down with some extra strong caf.

 One of the maintenance crew was seated to your right. This young man’s company was much preferable to that of his superior. He spoke to you with the same respect he showed his peers. Very professional. This was the third time that you had worked with him, and you hoped to do so again in the near future. It was a request that you could put in with several First Order officers aside from General Hux. Captain Phasma and Kylo Ren were equally in a position where they could approve such a request. In terms of who was more apt to quickly approve or deny the request, that was the redhead. His sleeping schedule was, to your knowledge, horrid. The man drank extra tarine tea and caf to keep up a workload that would have long ago mentally broken others.

 Whether the request was approved or denied would influence your own schedule, as you had to work around your teams’s strengths and weaknesses on the various projects that you were assigned to. As a way of remaining professional while also being courteous, you asked the man if working with you on other projects was something that he considered desirable. He admitted to enjoying working alongside you, however would want to know more about the projects first. You chewed this over. Ran through what you could and could not tell him before speaking.

 “One of the projects I still need to officially propose for acceptance. I think you would excel on this project, so if I do get the greenlight on it, I’ll give you the details at that time.” He nodded. You could see a spark of intrigue in his eyes that reaffirmed your desire to have him work with you more. The project in question was the one you had unofficially proposed to Kylo Ren. Familiarity with maintenance on the training droids would translate well for him to work in such a role on the physical therapy droids. “Another project that I think you would do well with is one that I will be working on later today. For Millicent.”

 His lips quirked towards the sides as he contained a laugh. The noise that escaped him instead was something akin to clearing one’s throat. Most in the First Order that knew of Millicent’s existence marveled over how someone so work-oriented and normally cold like General Hux could be swayed by a tiny creature. He did not allow his care of her to interfere with his job. That was one of the reasons that you had been assigned to design and program droids that could ensure she was kept in the best health. There were plenty of droids on the market that tended to a feline’s basic needs of food and water. As for playing, those were hit or miss. There was no ‘one design fits all’ droid to serve as a companion for a cat. Cats had personalities of their own. The man beside you, Eddard, commented on this.

 “Precisely,” you said, flashing a tooth-filled grin. “She has to be kept in his quarters to prevent her from harm…” You snorted directly before adding, “Or harming others by distracting them from work. Plus we know how cats enjoy climbing into engines.”

 “Tucking themselves into ships. She’d hide in a TIE, I imagine,” Eddard said. He quirked a single eyebrow then bobbed his head from side to side. “I don’t suppose you have incorporated TIEs into your project for her?”

 “In what way?” you asked, growing intrigued. Eddard gave a wave of his hand as he replied. A small TIE that functioned similar to a training droid. The cat would be able to chase it for exercise. If its cockpit opened, depending on the size of the droid, it could double as a cat bed. “I hadn’t considered the cat bed.” It was a great addition to a design that you had started earlier in the week. You pulled up part of the blueprints on your datapad to show to the man. He leaned in for a better view. “The training droids are going to take a few cycles to complete between maintenance and programming. I’ll also do test runs at some of the strages. If you have nothing else of priority level on your schedule, I would love to bring you aboard.”

 “If you can get the approval, count me in.”

 You finished eating the ration bar and drank the remainder of your caf as you opened up a blank request form and started to fill it in. Eddard offered his badge number as well as other projects that were assigned to him, none of which would have conflicts. You included the specific project with Millicent on the form while noting your interest to have him regularly assigned to your team. Some technicians and maintenance workers his age dissuaded themselves from offering input to their superiors as this man had done. He had the right attitude and tone when speaking to you, which prevented him from sounding arrogant. You imagined his temperament would benefit him should he work with Millicent due to the cat’s territory being in General Hux’s quarters. Others clammed up when in the presence of the redhead. You liked to think that Eddard would not be too starstruck or intimidated where it interfered with his work.

 Returning to work on the training droids offered you a distraction while you waited for the General’s response to your request. The maintenance lead’s attitude had not improved with a meal. If anything, he was grumpier and shot you looks of displeasure when he outlined more flaws in the droids’s design. As though you had designed them. He might have been blaming you for allowing them to pass initial inspection. Either he ignored the notations in your report regarding their shortcomings, or he hadn’t bothered to read the report at all. Whichever was the case, it spoke more to his character than it did yours. If your work had truly been so poor, General Hux or Kylo Ren would have let you know it. It would be no professional courtesy for them to not. On the contrary, it would be a disservice.

 The ability to tune out unwanted commotion was a skill you had obtained rather early in your career. This stemmed from the noises droids made alongside the light hum of functioning consoles. Not to mention fingers flying over virtual and physical keyboards during the programming phases of a project. Smaller bases had a tendency to cramp multiple programmers together regardless of whether or not they were working on the same project. Since beginning work for General Hux, you had not been forced to endure that unpleasantness.

 Just the occasional blisters on my foot.

 To say that you were looking forward to the lotion that he had ordered you was an understatement. On top of that, you had received a message from the man not too long before meal break stating that he had slippers provided for you in his quarters while you worked with Millicent. That, along with no longer being near the grumpy maintenance lead, had you counting down the minutes until you moved on to that project.

 As predicted, the response to your request arrived before long. You had heard the chime on your datapad signifying a message, however ignored it for a good twenty minutes so as to not disturb your rhythm while fully recoding one of the programs in the droids. The previous version had been more flawed than you had initially believed; a recording from the training area showed that the delay in the droids’s response time was erroneously logged as being quicker. It was no wonder these things were scrap. Cutting corners should not have resulted in these issues, or so you liked to believe. Granted, what remained was no less positive. That a programmer was poor at their job, or that they didn’t care if lives were lost. You thought back to the morbid joke that Kylo Ren had made in regards to the physical therapy droids praising a patient as they bled out. It was a realistic possibility with the wrong programming.

 The reply to the request had been favorable to you. Eddard would be given a probationary position with you for the project with Millicent. Any work he did would have to be approved by a senior member of maintenance. Just as with humans, a cat could easily be injured or even killed by a droid mishap. General Hux cared too much for Millicent to allow that to happen, and his terms were ones that you yourself would have made had the roles been reversed.

 Eddard walked along beside you from the training area to General Hux’s quarters. There was not much chance for proper dialogue, this mostly due to the two of you wishing to bring up visuals for the project. He did release a thoughtful hmm when you were immediately permitted entry. The clearance cylinder required would not have been given out to many. Thus Eddard was taking a second to appreciate the level of trust that was placed in you by those running the First Order. General Hux in particular was distrustful of others. He normally had a guard at his door no matter the ship or base he was located on.

 You kicked off your shoes after you were inside the door and before it had slid closed behind Eddard. The slippers that General Hux had mentioned were to the right of the doorway, and they were just as comfortable as you had imagined they would be. Their presence earned another noise of interest from Eddard. You snorted in response to him, shaking your head and smiling. You pointed down at one of the blisters that had started to form from your heels. The man gave an expression of sympathy then verbally pushed that it was still surprising. You shrugged off his words despite a voice nagging at you that the impression others had was important. An outsider could see more in a relationship sometimes than those involved, things the parties were blinded to. They also, you argued, read too much into things at times and spoiled what had once been good. The good working relationship that you had with General Hux was not something to be ruined.

 “Millicent, pssp, pssp, pssp,” you said, squatting down and snapping your fingers to coax the small tabby feline out from wherever she might be hiding. If she did not come immediately, there was a list of three locations that she frequented. Two of them she utilized for sleep. The third was a hiding spot when she could smell strangers. You repeated her name, this time a little more loudly. A tiny mew issued from her preferred hiding place.

 The tabby slipped out from underneath the couch. She stopped when she saw Eddard. Sat down with her tail curled around her body, ducked her shoulders as she readied herself to flee if he made a sudden move. You inched forward at a slow pace to prevent any movement that would put her more on edge. Millicent ducked her head, but she remained where she was and allowed you to scoop her up into your hands. You stood, turned around, and walked over to Eddard.

 The maintenance worker peered down at the cat that you were cradling. “He places a lot of trust in you, allowing you to come into his quarters unsupervised.” Eddard gave a nod towards the cat. “Letting you see what makes him, well, more human.”

 You drew Millicent closer to your body. Swiped a thumb back and forth, scratching her in a way that had her purring. “I’ve proven myself with the work that I do. Many of the projects place me in close proximity to General Hux, so he knows that I would never harm little Millicent here. Besides,” you started with an amused smirk, “he has surveillance.” Eddard startled at those words. The man twisted to look around the room for cameras. “Come on. General Hux’s orders stand: the blueprints must be completed before the cycle ends. He wants to review them before construction begins.”

[villainever]

Eve and the Performance of Morality

The "descent into darkness" as a format for a character arc is relatively common these days, especially in prestige television, and while it's more often played out with men than women, it's not unheard of as a trajectory for female characters. What's so interesting about Eve's development is how FAST it is happening. On a poorly-written show, this would be because the writers were rushing, too caught up in Point B to plot a satisfying journey there from Point A. But Killing Eve is basically a masterclass in good screenwriting, and it leaves us with the unshakeable feeling that this is the only way it COULD happen for Eve.

Other "descending" characters are so often ordinary, but transformed by their remarkable circumstances. They are pushed by the people around them and unfortunate events into compromising on their ideals and values, slowly shifting inch by inch until they've lost sight of who they were. And often, this is where they're killed off, or a redemption begins.

But even though she changes, Eve isn't transformed. She's REVEALED. And not just to us, but to herself. She isn't surrounded by people pushing her to darkness -- in fact, Elena, Hugo, Kenny, Jess and Niko are all trying to hold her back from it. Instead, she chases darkness. She follows Villanelle further and further, around a dozen corners in the gloom, and when the light's gone entirely, Eve realises that she can still SEE. Eve is made for the darkness, and Villanelle knows it from the beginning, but Eve is still working it out.

While I don't think Eve has the same compulsion towards violence that Villanelle does, I do believe they are an example of the nature/nurture conflict. Eve was raised by good people in a good place and got a good education, then married a good man and got a good job. "Nice and normal". At every turn, she was socialised and conditioned to mimic morality and empathy, and while Villanelle often acts this out as well, for Eve, the acting is still subconscious. She believes it comes from an innate impulse, rather than years of being told what to do and how to react. Neither Villanelle nor Eve really connect with people effortlessly on an emotional level, but Villanelle accepts that about herself, while Eve can almost pretend it's been bred out of her.

Eve's stable life and her moral framework are dependent on one another, so they implode at the same time. Staying in the realm of 'normal' with Niko necessitates a certain performance of conventional morality, but when Villanelle not only doesn't demand that performance but actually demonstrates an existence without it, Eve finds it harder and harder to maintain her home life.

Once the door has been opened, it can't be closed again. Eve is realising who she is, and more importantly, who she ISN'T. In 205, Martin says, "Don't add. Take away." And this is how we're experiencing Eve's arc. We take away outside pressure to be normal. We take away moral influences. We take away the expectation of goodness. And this leaves Eve looking a lot more similar to Villanelle than she's perhaps ready to admit yet to herself.

It's worth noting how Niko has identified Eve as self-obsessed, because she definitely is. But a lot of that self-obsession manifests in her fascination with Villanelle -- not only because Eve really likes Villanelle and stops caring about what distracts her from wholeheartedly pursuing her, but because Eve RECOGNISES some part of herself in Villanelle, and almost uses her as a mechanism for self-discovery. She watches what Villanelle does, and enjoys it, while being able to maintain the distance that comes from not having physically done it herself.

As I mentioned earlier, we've seen the "descent" arc before in modern television. One that springs to mind in Piper on OITNB. In S1, Piper commits increasingly selfish acts, but still considers herself a good person -- indeed, nothing she does can be really that bad, because she's a Good Person. Over S2 and S3, she continues downwards, until by S4, she's no longer able to reconcile the two versions of herself, so she decides she must be a Bad Person. Because of her pathological need to be liked, this doesn't work for her either, and ultimately, Piper ends up trying to do good things to become a genuinely Good Person.

Eve, I think, originally believed that she would hit some point like this, and bounce up from the bottom. But she won't. Why? Because at first, Eve thinks she needs people to like her, but she actually doesn't. She fires Kenny -- the last of their original team, the last person who knew Old Eve (not counting Carolyn, who has layers I won't get into here) -- and doesn't really miss him, or notice he's gone (eg. calling Hugo "Kenny"; they're interchangeable and missable). She wants Villanelle's attention, but Villanelle 'liking' her is different to the way other people might -- Villanelle wants her, is attracted to the best of the worst in her, is enjoying Eve's emergence from her crucible (or cocoon, depending on how you want to frame it). Eve's primary drive is Villanelle's interest in her, and that's certainly not holding her back in her journey.

Secondly, Eve doesn't actually care about being good. She's had numerous potential "wake-up call" moments -- stabbing Villanelle, facilitating the torture of the Ghost, nearly pushing the guy at the train station, Niko leaving, Villanelle killing someone right in front of her, etc. Yes, she had a minor breakdown over knifing Villanelle, but that was more the idea of Villanelle being gone than the stabbing itself, because the way Eve later says she thinks of it "all the time" doesn't sound as black and white as regretting it in its entirety; like Villanelle, she views it as a point of significsnt connection between them and I don't believe she'd let that go. Regardless, the point is that if she had a real gut connection to her moral compass, she would've bailed. Because really, her original mission is over. She caught Villanelle. She chased her and drew level and she's done.

But Eve's not done, because she's chasing not just Villanelle, but the Eve who can keep pace with her. She's chasing what Villanelle represents -- freedom from a system that doesn't fit Eve, not really.

What we have to remember, though, is that Eve has been socially and ideologically programmed for forty-five years. Most sociopaths lead typical lives and have long-term relationships and never really dig too deep into their psychology. It's doable. This is why Eve is slipping fast but not faster -- she's had a taste of liberation from her constraints, but her skin has long since grown over those shackles, so it's hard not to see them as a part of herself, and difficult to get them off.

But they'll come off, because Eve isn't a quiet woman with an average husband and a respectable government job. Eve is a chameleon, the way Villanelle is, only she's less deliberate and has been playing her character for far longer.

Which leads me to Villanelle's speech on life being boring and why it was so important for Eve to hear it. If we look at classic "chaotic" characters like Eve and Villanelle, they're often motivated by boredom, or rather, the desire to escape it. Villanelle and Eve are stuck in a world designed for other people.

The fact is, Eve has been bored forever. Eve was bored long before the pilot, when she was stuck in a holding pattern with Niko and imagining how she'd kill him, not because she wanted him gone but because it was INTERESTING. When she started keeping track of a female assassin but not even trying to report her, because she wasn't aiming for justice but ENTERTAINMENT.

Another fascinating element of their dynamic is that we as an audience are usually positioned to root for a redemption, but with Eve, we can't imagine anything more disappointing. We don't need her to turn it all around, we need her to dive in. Not only because it makes for a fresh storyline, but because great arcs are about characters finding who they are, and we have already grasped who Eve is. Along with Villanelle, we're waiting on her to realise it and act on it. Eve returning to her normal life would be a wolf among sheep, and I think Eve has gone too far. Not in that she's committed serious crimes she'd always be guilty of -- although she's getting close -- but because Eve is coming to understand she's not who she imagined she was, and any performance after this will be a conscious one. A decision to pretend. And guess what? That'll get boring, too. We root for a darkening Eve because we want her and Villanelle to escape that boredom, and escape it together, and forgetting this ever happened is not a way to do that.

I've smashed this out on my phone because I had a lot of thoughts and I'm not going to proofread because no one will actually read this. But essentially, I think we can expect Eve to continue using Villanelle as a proxy for a little while longer, until she's ready to cut loose her parachute. She hasn't committed to this yet because she doesn't want to forfeit the possibility of her old life to go back to (which is why she was upset over splitting from Niko even though she couldn't care less when he's actually around), but once she is reminded how horribly BORING it was, there'll be nothing to hold her back anymore. Because better to flame and implode than be smothered in a kitschy kitchen with a man you imagine blending up and pouring into a thermos. Better to be true and horrible than be nothing.

If you did read this thank you and I promise I'll stop writing mini essays and go back to regularly scheduled memes in a moment. I don't really do these because they don't interest anybody, but lmao, these two always get me thinking. hmu if you wanna trade theories lol.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Hello everyone! I have hopefully returned to your regularly scheduled programming.

Anon answers (and a question for you!) below! 👇

1-5. I was only a little surprised to say that Blush won by a goddamn landslide. Dom!Spencer just does something to people, I suppose, lol! Breathe got second, so Show Me The Ropes will just have to wait. I’ve still been writing a lot despite not posting, so whenever my Beta and I have time (please send her good vibes - there’s a lot going on for her!), you guys will be drowned in my content.

Sorry about that.

6. I do want to write more Lesley! Right now my only request for him is fluffy smut of Sub!Lesley making a sex tape. More goofy than sexy, IMO. I have an idea for Raymond and Wes I want to do first.

Actually, which appeals more to y’all?

Dom!Wes putting a leash on you, or Raymond fucking what he firmly believes is a ghost (you’re not, which he realizes later after he runs into you)?

7. I was SHOCKED to see Defining Family win by so much. Since it is so much longer than the other two fluff fics, we’ll see if we finish editing it first. I’m glad you guys are interested, though. I was worried (I’m always worried -  but my last three works weren’t well received, so I’m more worried than usual).

8. I unfortunately not only don’t read works, my memory is akin to a very specific type of chaotic 2008 Neopets fan page. I don’t even remember which of MY fics include that.

If you want suggestions for fics, I recommend asking @dreatine, who is extremely knowledgeable and would be more than happy to discuss fic recs with you. She’s a genius and she’s super nice.

9. Unfortunately that still doesn’t bring us any solace. I’m grateful that people have at least stopped sending multiple requests to me, but they still tend to send it to a bunch of “smaller” writers and then a couple “bigger” writers and that is just... the WORST feeling ever.

Because I’ll tell you what happens: people are scrolling through the tags and see a story summary line, and then go “I’ve already read this” and keep going. That writer loses the chance to share their work, and it makes them feel like garbage. It will always feel, to us, like you are just using us and don’t really care about the impact, even if you just don’t realize (which is why I talk about it all the time.

dontkissthewriter and I organized a fic swap, right? We had to create a posting schedule for everyone involved because we were scared that if we didn’t, the smaller writers would be buried and not get a chance to have their works read.

All I’m asking if that you respect writers. When they say something makes them feel used/like garbage, just try not to do it. It’s really easy to change up a request so that they aren’t the exact same. If you can’t, then only ask one person or at least tell us so we can coordinate. We just want to be respected for our time and work.

10. KEATON. Oh my god I love him. Also, I’m glad you liked It’s Not You, It’s Her. I absolutely hated writing that piece - lmao!  But I did get to write the rant that Spencer really needed to hear in the show, so.

I actually plan on incorporating a similar conversation in a fic eventually. Not sure which one, but I really hate how no one told Spencer in the show that he was idealizing the fuck out of a relationship that probably would have gone poorly, anyway, considering the little of their dynamic that we did see.

11. I’m so glad you enjoy it! I would give a preview of Part 19 but my writing is super chaotic right now. I am working on it! Promise! This chapter is going to be long.

12. Awwwe this is so sweet. I’m glad you enjoy my page. I really love you all and I love having the chance to entertain you and be part of your lives however I can.

Sending love back. I hope you have a wonderful day. Stay safe xoxo 💕

[pleasuringmyprincess]

Love Letter

I wrote the following In July, but decided not to share it at that time. it's now October.  Circumstances change.

________________________________________________________________

I know this isn’t going to be easy for me, so please bear with me.

I’m looking for a new dom for my sub.

I’ve know Ren for six months or so, in a long distance relationship through circumstance rather than design. Circumstance being that I live in California, while she lives in England. This is not a full time LDR, work and family (I’m also from England) bring me to the UK regularly. So in the time we’ve known each other, I’ve travelled to England every 10-12 weeks, staying for 4-5 weeks each time, and I have two more trips scheduled for between now and the end of the year.

When I met Ren it was supposed to be just for play, but we found we had so much in common, so many shared interests outside in the real world, so much chemistry that a serious relationship quickly developed. 

Ren isn’t just a delightful sub, she’s a wonderful mother to two lovely children, she’s fantastic company, intelligent, fun loving, really smart, caring, upbeat all the time, but... there’s always a but, and for Ren it’s a big one.

Let’s start by saying if there was ever someone who didn’t deserve the deck she was dealt it’s Ren. Over the last 6 years her self-esteem has been shattered by her prior partners, (I’ll say no more than that they have one way or another treated her badly) and as a consequence she has suffered from severe depression, has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, has self-harmed, and most recently has been diagnosed and is now being successfully treated for severe Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).

Pause a moment there - this is the same woman, the woman who has been shit on by the world is also the wonderful mother, the delightful, intelligent, fun loving, smart, caring woman. My unicorn.

Ren’s seen a few big changes recently, most significantly she finally was able to divorce her husband and move to a new home. Two big steps forward, but at a cost of greatly increased anxiety. Just after this she heard that she was losing her job - she’s highly skilled but works in a poorly paid profession and because of the need to care for her kids, can only work part time. And she’s just lost her dom. We’ll come back to that in a minute.

In a scene, Ren is delightful, absolutely exquisite. I couldn’t ask for more, it breaks my heart to think of letting her go. Outside of a scene though, she can be very hard work. It’s more a question of providing support and encouragement over discipline. I have lost count of the number of hours I’ve spent helping her through the pain she feels. When she’s particularly low, it can be 3-4 hours a day. That’s not a complaint, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat even now while I’m writing this. It’s just a sign of the level of commitment you need to make. And just so it’s clear, Ren knows she has these problems and spends a lot of time in self-care activities and while it helps, it’s not enough.

Ren’s a working single mum, on a budget, she’s already very disciplined, very ordered, but she still struggles with some things and I have not been as successful as I would have liked in helping her address these issues (although today she has just proved to me that she can do this unbidden when motivated). I’ve not got to the bottom of why this is, and frankly it’s not been a high priority for me. I’ve been focused on helping her improve her self-esteem, manage her anxiety and encourage her to seek treatment for her PMDD (yay me!). This has really been my primary goal. And while it’s too soon to be sure, it really looks like we have succeeded, her anxiety and PMDD are both under control now. She is far far stronger today than she was three months ago.

Unfortunately, helping her get treatment for PMDD may have been my downfall.

After six years in the wilderness Ren is becoming whole again, free from her past, independent, far stronger than she has been for many years. Strong enough to tell me that she wants to move on. Ren needs someone full time, I know this, we’ve discussed it at length, and I had already put plans in motion to return to live in England to be with her. Now Ren has told me that while I am returning to England, it's not soon enough for her - she doesn’t want to wait. She also has concerns about my marriage. I am divorcing, she knows this, but right now I am married, and my divorce is something that Ren does not want to feel responsible for - she’s not responsible, that ship sailed long ago, but she says she will still feel responsible, and that’s enough. And my age, I’m 14 years older than her, too old in her eyes for a long term commitment.

Now obviously I’m not too happy about this, we are/were amazingly good together and had I not worked so hard to help her through her problems I might not be in this position today. I do feel significantly responsible for Ren’s recent improvement. For giving her the support she needed; for helping her apply for jobs; for showing her that there was a man who would fight for her, accept her for who she is, respect her for it; for being the consistent and reliable dom she needed; and most significantly for getting her back to the doc and having her PMDD addressed. 

This is where I get a little twisted - one of the side effects of the medication Ren is taking for PMDD is possible impaired judgement. And there's part of me that thinks, dumping your dom like this wasn't the wisest thing to do right now. So the treatment for PMDD that I helped her get, might possibly be responsible for Ren taking what I think is an ill-judged decision in deciding that she’d rather seek out her perfect Dom than accept this one with all his flaws. I’m not blind to the fact that there’s part of me that thinks ‘Hey, I did the hard work in putting her back together and it would be nice to enjoy some of the benefits’, OK, I fully realize that’s selfish of me, but it’s understandable, I’m a dom, not a saint. To be clear though, it's not the decision I have a problem with, it's the hurried way she approached it.  But we serve at our sub’s pleasure, and so here we are.

As it is, and I’ve never shared this with anyone, not even Ren, until now. I made a promise to myself that I’d help her come what may. And if that means 'setting her free' and helping her find a dom who’s worthy of her, that’s what I’ll do.

And so I’m looking for a new dom for my sub.

If you think that you might possibly be able to be the dom Ren needs, I’d like to hear from you. Before you all shout, as you might have gathered, I hold Ren in very high regard, and I will not let her settle for anyone who isn’t good enough. And just to be clear, I’m not going away. Ren and I have every intention of remaining friends.

So can this be you?

Let’s see shall we.

You’ve got to accept that Ren is a rich multi-faceted human being. If you are looking for a fuck toy, stop here.

She’s looking for more than just a play partner. Listen to Lou Reid singing Perfect Day, if you can’t offer that, you can stop reading here. Married guys (like me), guys in poly, or any form of relationship with someone else, you can stop here, she wants exclusivity. Btw, if you’re separated, divorcing, or whatever, you’re still married, so you stop here too. You don’t drink sangria in the park with Ren, and then later when it gets dark go home to your wife (read the lyrics, it will make sense).

Age 40-50, no exceptions. You will be fit and healthy, height/weight proportional.

No diseases, you will provide current STI test results, and you will always use a condom.

It will help if you a pro-Remain, if not, you need to be able to offer a coherent argument against. Intelligence matters. 

As a submissive, Ren has specific needs, and specific limits. She needs pain, she needs to be spanked, mild to moderate use of a riding crop and paddle is OK, but not severe caning. She needs bondage both for the restraint and the art. Obviously there are other things as well, but she can share that if you meet, and I’m sure there are things that we’ve not tried that she will enjoy. She has limits and you will respect them. You will not humiliate her in any way, not even name calling. Not in play, not as punishment. There are other things you will not do, obviously, and again she can share them if you meet.

You must be an experienced Dom, having a fetlife account or a tumblr blog doesn’t count. You will meet me first. You will provide government photo ID, and references, and I will follow up on references in person.

Ren needs a Dom who is close by, someone who can see her 2-3 times a week without fail and who will remain in close contact when apart. Long distance relationships don’t work for her (ask me how I know), she needs to know you are close by, which means you must be within daily driving distance. No, she will not relocate. She has joint custody of her kids with her ex and that’s not going to change.

You’ve got to accept that she is not at your beck and call. She’s a mother, her kids come first and always will. You don’t even rate second place; like I said, she has a very demanding self-care program that takes a lot of her time, that comes next. She also has a cat. You might aspire to a position above the cat in her hierarchy, but I wouldn’t count on it.

________________________________________________________________

Don't take this as anything other than a mile marker down a road already travelled.

Applications are not currently being accepted. 

[collapsingintojupiter]

Sunshine and Storm Clouds: Chapter 4

Chapter 1  Chapter 1.5  Chapter 2  Chapter 3

Yes, this is the story that originally spawned from drabble prompts, and lemme tell y’all I have some fun stuff planned. Enjoy!

Warnings: Exactly one curse, alcohol mention. Let me know if I need to add anything.

Also before I begin this chapter I just want to send a huge shoutout to @just-perhaps for being such a freaking amazing friend! Like guys he was so patient with me, and just let me bounce chapter ideas off of him and helped me come up with a lot of this stuff that you’re reading now--because I have such a disastrous brain I have trouble with that kind of thing a lot, and thanks to him I’ve been able to sort a lot of these ideas out so that you can enjoy them. So if you like what you see--thank him too! He’s awesome!

That is all. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

___

Roman tried not to look tense as he followed Logan and Virgil into the kitchen; sure he was excited for a free meal but Virgil's presence especially put him on edge. He was pretty sure that the purple-and-black clad father hated him, and the almost robotic demeanor of the other one didn't help with that much.

"Can you take Patton and sit down with him while Virgil and I get dinner?" Mr. Sanders held the child out to him and Roman nodded, taking Patton into his arms.

"Ready to eat?" He asked the little boy with a grin. He felt better just holding Patton--the little boy's very presence seemed to make the world feel a little better; a little brighter. I guess I can understand why Virgil's so protective of him, he thought.

"He seems to like you," the other Mr. Sanders nodded to him with something that might have been approval.

"Thank you, Mr--"

"Virgil."

"Mr. Virgil?" The one in the patch jacket groaned, turning to his husband.

"I'm not professional enough for all that garbage," he shook his head and waved one hand vaguely in the air. "Just call me Virgil."

"Yes sir."

"Virgil."

"Right." Roman was blinking as he carried Patton into the dining room and away from that awkward conversation. He busied himself settling the little boy down to his chair; before he sat down next to him and turned to watch Mr. Sanders and Virgil as they worked together on the burgers.

"There's three of us, Logan," Virgil reminded his husband when the blue-tied father only got four hamburger buns from the pantry. Mr. Sanders nodded, quickly correcting his mistake and throwing the buns into the toaster while Virgil got out pans to cook the burgers. 

"What kind of stuff do you like on your burger?" Logan asked Roman, heading over to the fridge to get out condiments. 

"You guys have teriyaki sauce?"

"Yes." Logan pulled out a small bottle of it, following that with mayo, ketchup, relish, and cheese.

Plates and utensils were brought out and arranged, and Virgil helped Mr. Sanders arrange them on plates. Mr. Sanders sniffed at the air when they'd finished, then frowned.

"Virgil, your burgers are burning." Logan's husband spun around when he heard that, eyes wide.

"Shit!" Virgil dashed back into the kitchen and Logan watched him go, a half-smile on his face as he shook his head. 

"Maybe one day we'll make these correctly, eh Patton?" He looked down at his son, suddenly seemed to realize Roman was there, and his cheeks turned red as he looked away.

Roman didn't say anything, but he was more intrigued than anything by the two fathers' almost clumsy attempt to make dinner for him. He felt almost...honored. People rarely shared themselves with others so easily, especially when they weren't "perfect" at whatever it was. Seeing these two was almost...refreshing, in a way, a good break from too-perfect Hallmark families and idiocy painted over with smiling faces.

Virgil and Logan seemed to exist in their own dimensions, yet acted as anchors for each other in the real world. It was such an odd relationship Roman couldn't quite figure out how it worked, but he didn't doubt it either--the adoration in the teacher's usually stony expression when he looked at Virgil, the way Virgil's eyes softened whenever they saw Mr. Sanders. That's love, he thought to himself. That…that's real love.

Virgil came back into the room with a plate of steaming burger patties (which were hardly burned at all, Roman couldn't help but note), and the two arranged everything on the table before sitting down next to each other. 

"We have enough for each of us to get two, but we can make more if you'd like," Logan stated, and everyone dug in. Virgil tried to ignore his food and feed Patton instead, but one look from Logan and he begrudgingly began to eat while he fed the child instead.

Roman forced himself to eat slowly, taking small bites from his burger and ignoring the ravenous hunger that burned in his stomach. The burgers were delicious, and as they ate Mr. Sanders questioned him about...well, the list of things he didn't ask about might've been shorter. Roman kept his answers short, hoping he'd stop, but Logan just kept talking. He hadn't realized that the teacher could say so much.

"What school do you go to?"

"Rachedale Highschool."

"And you're in what grade?"

"I'm a junior."

"Do you have any siblings?"

"No, it's just me at home."

"Have you read any good books lately?"

"...I don't read much, sir. I don't have time."

"Do you have a favorite subject in school?"

"I like History, I guess."

Logan opened his mouth to ask another question, but before he could Virgil bumped him with his knee under the table. Roman could tell he was trying to be subtle, but he tended to notice things a lot of other people didn't, this included. Logan glanced at Virgil and shut his mouth, then looked back at Roman.

"I apologize, Roman. Am I talking to much?"

"No sir," Roman lied. "I don't mind." The teacher narrowed his eyes.

"Roman, I want you to be honest with me. If something is bothering you, or if I am making you uncomfortable, please say something. I don't want to distress you."

Roman blinked several times, surprised. Since when did adults care about what him, a teenager, had to say? But Logan looked so serious, and Virgil was nodding.

Maybe he doesn't hate me. Man, these two are weird...but cool. I like them.

"Um...I guess yeah, then? I don't really like being, um, questioned like that." He ducked his head after saying that. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize, Roman," Mr. Sanders answered quickly. "If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll avoid it. Alright? But you have to tell me."

"Y-Yes, sir."

Logan nodded. "Is there anything you wish to talk about instead?"

Roman actually grinned that time. He hadn't really expected to enjoy the meal, but this was actually turning out to be quite interesting.

"So, earlier Patton and I…"

The three talked about the little boy in blue for a while, sharing a few stories and laughing at Patton's antics over burgers and fries (Virgil claimed that they too had burned, but really they were fine). Roman finished his burger first, and while his stomach still roared with hunger, he didn't touch the second one once he'd fixed it. 

"Ah…Mr. Sanders?"

"Yes?" Logan looked up at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Can I get a plastic bag to put this in? I'm not hungry...I was wondering if I could take this home and eat it later?"

Logan looked at Roman, adjusted his glasses, and shook his head.

"Falsehood," he stated calmly. Then, before Roman could protest, Virgil spoke up.

"Eat at much as you need, kid. I'll make more and you can take that home with you. Deal?"

Roman looked at the purple-and-black father in surprise, and when their eyes met he almost wished he hadn't looked up at all. There was an understanding in Virgil's eyes that was a lot more knowing; a lot more unsettling than he would've liked. How does he...

"Deal," Roman answered, trying to keep his voice from trembling. Virgil nodded and disappeared into the kitchen, coming back sometime later with more hot burger patties. He also had a few bags of chips, an apple, and juice, which he'd arranged in a plastic bag.

"Take it all," he told Roman, setting it down in front of him. Roman didn't argue, finishing off his second burger and packing up the rest.

"Thank you so much," he told Mr. Sanders and Virgil earnestly. "I'd love to stay for longer, but I probably should get back. I don't want my mom to worry." Oh whatever, she probably wouldn't notice if you never came back, the voice at the back of his head snickered. Shut up, Roman thought back at it. He wished that the voice wasn't right, desperately trying to block it out with something here and now.

"Thank you for taking care of Patton," Mr. Sanders said with a nod. "Will you be willing to return should we need help with him again?"

"Yes sir!" Roman forced energy into his voice that he didn't know he had. "I'd be glad to help with Patton anytime!" Logan nodded.

"Until next time then, Roman." Roman waved to them and smiled at Patton as he opened the front door.

"I'll see you later!"

He shut the door behind him and started the walk home.

---

About a half hour later, Roman pulled an old key from his pocket and slid it into the doorknob that belonged to a small dilapidated house. 

"Mom?" He called as he stepped inside. "I'm back."

"Oh, hey honey." The lilting voice came from the living room and Roman followed it, clutching the plastic bag in his hands. In front of the TV his mother was sprawled out on the couch, her clothing battered and dirty. Had she looked so bad that morning?

"Mom… Please tell me you didn't buy more of that stuff."

"Oh honey...I promised you, remember?"

"Mom, you're drunk." Roman let out a quiet sigh. "How are we going to pay rent this month if you keep spending everything on booze?"

"Oh relax honey, it'll be alright." Mrs. Emerson smiled at Roman, and he shuddered.

"I brought you dinner," he said, taking the plastic bag over to his mother. She took it and frowned at its contents.

"But, darling...I'm not hungry."

"Mom, please eat?" 

"Maybe later." Roman sighed; dropped it. There was no use chasing subjects when his mother was like this. Maybe he could heat it up later for her, or eat it for breakfast tomorrow.

"Did you get the job?" He asked instead. Of course not, idiot. She wouldn't be drunk if she had.

"No, I didn't…" his mother sighed. "But don't worry about it, hun. I'll get something eventually."

"Yeah," Roman nodded. "You'll get it." He hated how hollow the words sounded, even to him.

"You'll get it, Mom."

___

Taglist.

@antisocialsilvermermaid @just-perhaps @ghostintimelostintime