#i’m a fuckin mess in this one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autoneurotic · 11 months

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wild magic sorcery is so fun so far i’ve turned myself into a sheep mid battle, ensnared AND dealt damage to me and my whole team, have summoned multiple mephits that are of course not on my side, blinded myself in fog

#i do love it. it’s funny.#i’m a fuckin mess in this one #i’m dark urge sorcerer #sided w the absolute but really didn’t want to lose like everyone just so i could #have minthara and also a chance at astarion romance as dark urge #so i reloaded and sided w the grove etc #so now im romancing gale and kind of astarion #im this little bloodthirsty freak with a sort-of-normal middle aged boyfriend.#but i don’t get any dark urge convo prompts w astarion which drives me insane #who else other than lae’zel could i walk up to and say I Fantasize About Murder. I Simply Love Gore and Death #and have them GET IT. i can’t even eat a fucking parasite without wyll being like ew….sickening babe

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crazymecjc · 11 months

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a modern prometheus.

#frankenstein #victor frankenstein #oof my art I guess #HELLO HI I COME BEARING CLASSIC LIT FANART #so fuckin proud of this one i can’t even lie #this took me like seven hours truly one of the most intensive pieces I’ve ever done #I love a silly lil mad scientist twink #victor my king please stop messing with forces beyond ur understanding ur gonna give them daddy issues ://#I’m so crazy about this book #truly rotating in my brain 24/7 #the art gods possessed me for this one I think idk if I could do that again #but I sure as hell will try #I wanna draw Henry clerval so bad so maybe expect that in the future???#what I post next is an enigma to everyone including me #anyways if anyone needs me I’ll be thinking abt the Themes

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merriclo · 1 year

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> from hcau <

spirit my beloved. click for better quality <3

[psst spirit uses she/her in this au!!]

#I STRUGGLED WITH THAT GODDAMN HAT FOR SO LONG #alsooo the ref on the left isn’t official it’s just what i doodled during class!!#it’s very close to the official one i just messed some details up bc i had no reference at the time oopsies #i’m working on a proper reference for her bc i’m. obsessed w drawing her. cutie pie #i love spirit tracks link. fuckin wonderful kid #THIS IS NOT GENDERBENT. SHE IS TRANS.#my art #hcau #hero’s call au #hcau spirit #linkverse au #links meet au

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why-the-heck-not · 1 year

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hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week

#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines #and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done #and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it #also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one #like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it #so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week #only made myself more confused #i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go #with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn #and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like #’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s #just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’#the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol #yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing #ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit #(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn)#april 2023 #2023

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cas---2y5 · 1 month

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feeling lonely tonight y’all

#i had an abundance of company last night #at least before bed #and then I was too tired to give a shit #but tonight I don’t even have my gf #idk I’m just feeling sad ig :(#I really want my Dom to pay more attention to me #and I figured out why #which is a whole tangled mess of daddy issues #y’know for not being involved in it at all that man sure fuckin wrecked my life #idk #I just feel like if i was better or more maybe I would be Special to my Dom and get more of his attention #which like not true #but my obsessive thoughts are making one hell of a case #I just wanna feel special and worth something and I wanna be spoiled with affection #and I want someone that’ll take care of me #and be the responsible and in control one for once #now I’m just rambling oops #personal

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raiiny-bay · 8 months

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thinking about the monster boyz AU & how kel never gets to be truly happy in it...

#& having the audacity to feel heartbroken about it as if i’m not the one who wrote it #like. ok. kel has a pretty shit life in every universe but #the silver lining is that he eventually gets to break free & be himself & have the life he wants #but in mbz he spends his entire childhood in survival mode #he gets like. 1 year maybe 2 where he gets out from under his dad’s thumb but #he spends that time unpacking his trauma & unlearning negative coping mechanisms & fear responses #& figuring out who he is & what he wants #& before he can make any real progress the fuckin apocalypse happens! & he’s right back to survival mode #then he DIES & becomes red which comes with a whole other set of problems #like he meets teeth who in theory is the love of his life #but they’re both too messed up to do it right & the relationship is so intense #& so unhealthy & not at all how love is supposed to be #& then eventually he dies again for real this time #like. man. i’m sorry kel lol #on the bright side. i do have the apocalypseAU which is the mbzAU but the boys do not become monsters #instead they meet as humans and survive the apocalypse together. it’s a much happier version of the story lol #rainyrambles

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rosesradio · 1 month

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i think my university fucking bit me wtf

#it started last semester or maybe even last year but they infected me with an anxiety that completely rewired my brain #i have general anxiety disorder & i’ve had the occasional ‘something bad is gonna happen’ day where im anxious the whole day for no reason #but then it changed to this like. academic anxiety that got so bad i was like. nauseous all the time throwing up i had to go to a counselor #and now i’m straight up paranoid. like idk maybe i’m not using the word right but i’m convinced every day all my worst fears are gonna—#just happen one after the other. my tumblr will be revealed to my family. my toxic ex will come back into my life—#my money for school is revoked things like that.#because adult life is just so confusing and convoluted and works against people #and my anxiety just goes through this loop of ‘everyone dislikes you/hates you/thinks you’re annoying’ so -> ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’#so -> ‘your life will be irreparably damaged and/or you will die’#the ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’ bit especially gets me because it’s like bitch how!! i follow laws!! i cheat a bit less than the average—#student! any time someone has a concern with like my work performance or something they politely tell me #why do i have the anxiety of a fucking hunted animal over these things!!#i wanna be numb actually i miss that time. it still sucks but at least i don’t make myself sick #things would be so much easier if i was a house spouse who cooked & cleaned (with no kids) & didn’t have a job or go to school #ofc managing a house has its own challenges and i don’t wanna undermine that but ykwim #i want this fuckin eye of sauron off my ass already 🧍#and don’t even get me started on the ‘you have to do this little task in this specific way or else everyone you love will die’ thoughts #that’s a whole other mess #tw vent #rose.txt

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take-ya-to-the-ghey-bar · 2 months

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I had plans to try and work on at least one draft here in a few minutes, but while taking one of my friend’s dogs out, she yanked me around on the leash— so now my hand hurts, hhh—

#{|ooc post|}#might still make a go at things sometime tonight if the sting goes away soon—#but rn this lowkey sucks—#bc like— I’m pretty sure I got a friction based cut on my finger???#something like that anyway— thanks to trying to grip the leash as she tried to run—#and that bish might be small— but it fuckin stings lmao #(probably doesn’t help that said dog weighs more than me— but I’m the only one up to take her out rn—)#(and didn’t wanna chance a mess on the floor— but in the end the dog didn’t even fully do her business = n =)#(this’ll probably be another post I delete soon lol— or at least come back and wipe some tags—)#(but atm I’m just annoyed and needed to yell somewhere— XP)

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dayz-ina-daze · 3 months

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I THOUGHT I HAD A CAVITY BUT IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE ITS FADING SINCE IVE BEEN BRUSHING LIKE FIVE TIMES A DAY NOW AAHHH

#i know this might seem like an overdramatic reaction #but literally I was fuckin sick to my stomach throwing up over the idea of having a cavity #cause a) money #b) parents will be pissed I know it #c) I’ve NEVER had a cavity before in my life #d) this was a result of my depression reaching an all time low and it kind of gave me a jolt of sorts which I don’t know how long it’ll last #so yayyyyyyyyyyYyY #anyway #anybody who knows me #or has talked with me one-on-one for any amount of time lol #knows what an anxious mess I am so I think I’m handling this pretty well-#spotty speaks

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unknownarmageddon · 5 months

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daily hozier!!!

YEAHH lesgo dude

#answering asks #chair asks #chair!!#i couldn’t utter my love when it mattered…..#AUGH y’know what that first bit is so killer actually #faltering when it needed to matter but always declaring it and boasting it so so openly just not in the same way #augh god i like shrike so much more now the second time i’m hearing it for some reason #AS THE SHRIKE TO YOUR SHARP AND GLORIOUS THORN #something something sword and sheath or fuckin whatever #that is kross somehow some way #hung like the pelt of some pretty worn????? augh???????#but im flying like a bird to you now…..#BY YOUR GROUNDED AND GIVING AND DARKENING SCOURN #that is so killer to cross i think #god #banger really #it’s like. a deep forest to me #waa talk!!!#ouhh this is interesting #i like the like. steady snapping and?? pluckiness?? of it it slaps #so i try to talk refined for fear that you find out how i’m imagining you….#i remember you talking about this one now cackles #augh yeah!!! very killer i think it slaps dude #it makes me think of a guy sitting on a barstool with a messed up tie. glass of something in one hand #or whatever #i’d have to draw it cackles

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crowcryptid · 7 months

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Hire employee: do NOT tell them about the parking situation till their first day!

Charge employees to park in company owned parking garage

Force people with email jobs to sit in traffic 2-3 hours a day and take up a parking spot (to be fair this one is determined by your manager. company allows hybrid and wfh. if your manager sucks then you’re screwed)

There aren’t enough parking spots! Wow if only we could fix this..

Solution: put all new employees on a months long waiting list to get a parking spot

In the meantime they can pay over $50 a week to park

Employees quit??? No one wants to work anymore?!

Pay employees trash but it’s $2 more than 95% of other jobs so we keep attracting new employees

Rinse and repeat

#guys i’m going insane #I’ve been out of that office for over a year and a half now #and I’m still fuckin traumatized #of having to explain THAT whole mess to every new employee #and we hire over 100 people every week #imagine #just try to imagine explaining that over and over #and seeing the dread hit people in real time when they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into #especially the regular employees who aren’t being paid a living wage #the medical people would just get pissed off cause they thought they were too special to be put through that #sorry the thousands of office workers are actually the ones taking up all the parking #and making traffic so much fun 🥰#yay who doesn’t love boomer managers

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dahldahlbills · 11 months

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nano day 6

total count: 2756; 2212!!! towards main wip, 544 towards fic

finished scene 4!!! Wasn’t expecting that esp bc I was extremely reluctant to write it. It started off strong, then got away from me for a bit, but I think I wrapped it up okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m just happy I broke 2k today, it feels extremely rewarding B-)

was hoping to get more fic writing done today but alas… maybe tomorrow

#if I ever break 5k in a day I would be SO happy #maybe this weekend #but I’d def try to do it throughout the day and not just one sitting #I would lose focus so bad #currently drowning out the self doubt that accompanies this current fic with the adrenaline of completing a scene from cryptids wip 👍#man my mc is so fuckin dramatic he was straight up having a mental breakdown while eating chicken and waffles #will this stay will this get deleted??? who knows!!#what a mess lol #but we’re on to scene 5!!!!#if I’m remembering my outline right this scene is v cozy but also starts hinting at the horror aspects of the story #SUPER EXCITED #I have no idea how I’m gonna write it but that’s tomorrow’s problem #also I love just saying things abt this project without giving any context #no one knows what I’m working on i feel so silly and mysterious #giving everyone who reads this the Worst and most confusing impression of this story lol #but don’t ask me what it’s about bc like. I know what it’s abt but I couldn’t tell you #(I’m still workshopping the pitch)#anyway #dahl does nano 23

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freakylilnutjob · 2 years

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Jeffery Jordan of The Band CAMINO

#I’m so fuckin proud of this one #I gotta post this even tho I think I have one mutual who might know who he is 😅#it’s not perfect #I see some shading that’s missing that I should add before posting this #but i love it anyway #and I’m def gonna keep messing with it and trying different styles #like I want to make it to were I don’t need the black outline #and I also have a version of this that’s orange and I’m obsessed with it #because he’s the color orange (to me)#anyways that’s my art lol #the band camino #tbc #jeffery jordan #mine #procreate #my art

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un-pearable · 2 years

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google search how to get people in your life to take your suspicions of inattentive adhd seriously when you’ve been an anxiety-ridden overachiever your entire life

#ITS THE THIRD TIME IVE BROUGHT IT UP. STILL WONT DO ANYTGING ABOUT IT #hate it here both adhd and my (i’m 99% sure actually diagnosed BUT NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING) anxiety cause executive dysfunction #but even just talking about that means they write me off as lazy. i am a fuckin mess and as always am screwing my self up at just the last #second (two weeks before finals) just in time to hate myself. this is why i always pick up a new interest around this time of year #i swear it’s like a fucking clock i cope with anxiety by fixating on reading a gratuitous amount of content on smthn new #every december may and august and it SUCKS bc it DOES NOT HELP ME and i still get by by the seat of pants bc i stay up until fuck o clock am #and get lucky. fuck.#sry for the swear laden vent i realized i have slightly screwed myself AGAIN and am AGAIN annoyed no one takes me seriously when i bring up #my actual inability to get a n y r h i n g done. basically ever #special shout-out at the one who has repeatedly made jokes throughout my life about my inability to follow two step instructions #like hi yeah literally a diagnostic. fucking hell.#yes diagnoses are just collections of observable traits that we group together and yes it’s not completely debilitating but i am near physic #ally incapable of doing anything without a looming deadline EVEN IF I WANT TO and the fact that i am good at last minute bullshiting means #i have no ducking clue how to get a handle on it or even get people to take me seriously about it #>:(((((((

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charlataninred · 2 years

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If I could stop crying every time I have any sort of emotion that’d be great 👍

#I’m an angry cryer which fuckin sucks #bc I’m not trying to make the ppl I’m interacting with feel bad I’m trying to have a conversation #and even if I AM legitimately seething I don’t want to make someone feel ‘oh shit I fucked up so bad I made them cry’#no!! we are (were) having a civil discussion/argument and now I’m crying and no one is happy with this turn of events!#and when I get nervous I cry #which. as someone w anxiety which has decided to start acting up even w the meds. is Not a fun time #and I’m trying to advocate for myself but then j turn into a sobbing mess and suddenly it feels like I’m trying to make the person I’m #talking to feel bad for me #which I KNOW I’m not it’s just a stupid reaction but it sure still feels like I am #I’m pretty sure I haven’t had one (1) one-on-one conversation with one of my teachers that hasn’t ended in me crying #which is. very embarrassing #and I feel very bad for her bc she should not have to deal w that #aegis talks to the void

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reinventboy · 2 years

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was tagged by @brokentoothkiss to answer some questions 🍽

last song

figure in the field by the brazen youth

three ships

hmmm. i have been thinking about richard and francis (the secret history), lee and maren (bones and all), & howl and sophie (howl’s moving castle) a lot recently

currently reading

nothing new, just rereading the secret history cuz i listened to the abridged version the other day, like the one robert sean leonard did, and… oh. it’s so good, i need more

last movie

howl’s moving castle (think i want my next tattoo to be about it cuz i’ve been rlly nostalgic for it recently lol)

craving

a loud concert and a normal sleeping schedule (and like love or wtvr)

tagging

not sure who to tag, but if you want to do this pls say i tagged you, i wanna hear about what you’re up to !!!

#obsessed with the 🍽 emoji rn #i wanna put it everywhere #kendall!!! hi!!!#thanks for tagging me in this i havent done one in so long it was rlly fun #i say this every. fuckin. time. but your new layout…..#your taste is immaculate #you get it #i rlly should post more on this account #i think i want to revamp the tags and things like that first tho #i rlly want that howl tattoo lol i’m thinking of getting the scene where he’s sat in the chair all sad cause he messed up his hair #like that on my leg would be so cool #i want somany more tattoos it’s unbelievable #did i ever show you my tattoo kendall? i only have one rn #anyway sending you a big hug #!!!#tag games #mine #oh #also hope it’s cool i posted from this account instead of onlymilkteeth i rlly need to updatethat one lol

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