#i’m actually so embarrassed seeing the shit i used to read at 15

[dianaladrislovebot]

besties, it’s officially happened …. i’ve run out of fanfic. i’ve read literally every single one i can find that’s worth reading, most of which several times over. i’ve become desperate. i’ve had to do the unthinkable. i’ve had to redownload *shudder* wattpad 😭

[widowbitessting]

Sugar Mommies Pt.15

Right imma apologies for the LONG wait for this part! 😂 I’m still not overly happy with it buuuuut yeah, it’s finally here! The Sugar Mommies Trio! are back!❤️

I’m going to tag everyone like I did yesterday with the Drabble and if anyone’s username isn’t underlined - apparently it doesn’t tag you - I’m gonna remove you so if your username is taken off, let me know and I’ll retag you. Lol me trying to desperately make this tag list work!  

Please let this tag list work!

New upload time is every Sunday at 8pm GMT (London) time! 

18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️💋❤️

MJ(11:13): Y/N did you get milk when you went grocery shopping??🤔

MJ(11:13): Cuz I can’t find it…

MJ(11:13): I really need my hot chocolate fix too, Y/N.

MJ(11:14): Y/N????

MJ(11:14): You’re always on your phone, what are you doing???

MJ(11:14): Shit 

MJ(11:14):…you went out to your gals didn’t you…

MJ(11:14): 😳😳

MJ(11:14): God,you’re so horny I love it😋

MJ(11:14): Did you take protection?

MJ(11:15): I’m not ready to be an auntie!

Wanda stops reading when you cover your face with a pillow.

“Shall I continue?” 

God, you can hear her smirking even though you can’t see her. 

“Is murder still illegal here?” You ask, voice slightly muffled. 

Wanda drags the pillow from your face and sticks her bottom lip out in a small pout.

She squishes your face with her fingers and pecks your lips.

“Unfortunately, my sweet.”

“Shame.”

“Shall I continue?” Wanda asks again. 

“Is there more?” 

You don’t know why you’re so shocked. It’s MJ. She once spammed your phone with 50+ messages when you were in the shower at your parents’ house, and she was binge watching Stranger Things.

“There’s a lot more, baby.”

You exhale loudly through your nose.

“Please say yes, I kinda want to see how she ends these texts.”

“She’s actually so embarrassing.”

“Pleeeease?” Wanda shoots you with her best puppy dog eyes and you give in almost immediately.

“Go on then.”

“Yes!” Wanda looks back at your phone, “where was I?”

MJ(11:15): I’d be an amazing auntie wouldn’t I?

MJ(11:15): Yknow, if you actually reply to me, I’ll slap you.

MJ(11:15): After your women do of course…😏

MJ(11:15): you’d think I’d stop texting you by now…buuuut nope! 

MJ(11:16): What’re the chances your ladies will kill me if I interrupt you again?

“Quite high.” Wanda mutters. “Luckily you were too…occupied…this time.”

 Wanda winks at you and you blush.

MJ(11:17): Anyways, hope you have fun! If you’re hoarse when you come home then I know why!

MJ(11:17): last thing I promise, did you get that milk or not…?

Wanda looks at you, eyes dipping down to where you’re holding the bed sheet to your bare chest.

“Her last text says she’s locked herself out again. Does your friend do this often or just when you’re with us?” 

You can’t help but laugh when Wanda tells you this.

“She’s locked out again?” 

“She is.” Wanda hands you your phone. “See?”

There it is, encased in a dark grey bubble, MJ’s iMessage. 

MJ(11:18): Sooo I was rushing out and didn’t grab my keys…any chance you’re nearly done screaming over there?

“Not to be rude…but is your friend an idiot?” 

You shrug. 

“She’s just…MJ…very forgetful MJ…” 

“Hasn’t she got a boyfriend?” 

“Peter? Yeah.” 

“Does she have keys to his place?” Wanda asks. 

You nod with pursed lips. 

“They’re with the keys she locked in the apartment aren't they?” 

“They are. I actually think they’re on a hook by the door to be more specific.”

Wanda lets out a laugh and grabs your phone back. 

When you see her begin to type back to MJ, you dive forward with a startled noise.

“What are you doing?” 

Wanda moves effortlessly away from you, stepping off the bed in one swift move and you can do nothing but follow her. 

You hastily wrap the sheet tighter around your body, giggling after Wanda. 

“I’m just giving her some advice.” Wanda says, moving your phone out of reach. 

Once she finishes typing, Wanda shows you what she’s written and waits patiently for you to read it.

“Go get a hot chocolate and meet up with Peter for a while. Y/N will be back much later - Wanda.”

“Am I okay to send it?”

“I’ll do you one better…” 

You press send yourself and smile up at the other woman. She grins down at you, puts your phone on aeroplane mode so MJ can’t disturb you again and tosses it blindly onto the bed.

“Now…where were we?” 

Wanda’s hands grip your wrists firmly and she pulls slightly so that the sheet droops slightly. 

“Y’know, I’m really having a hard time sharing you with MJ. Especially when you’re wearing that.”

You’d swallow if you had any moisture left in your mouth. 

“Oh yeah?” 

She nods. 

The taller woman leans down and captures your lips with her own; kissing you possessively. 

She suddenly pulls you flush against her, tearing your hands from where they’re keeping what little modesty you have, so that the sheet falls freely away.

Leaving you standing in their bedroom naked. 

Whilst kissing a very clothed, and very turned on, Wanda. 

She moves to your neck quickly, teeth finding home in your skin, marking you up with little to no care. 

She nips a little too hard, causing you to hiss as you’re backed up blindly. 

And when you’re about to buckle down onto the mattress, Wanda’s hands lift you effortlessly before chucking you onto the bed. 

Watching wordlessly as you bounce a couple of times.

Before she practically jumps on the bed, towering over you with a smile. 

Wanda pecks you before moving to kiss down your chest - lavishing at your nipples until they become small peaks. 

When your hips buckle, Wanda drags herself lower, her spit glistening on your skin as she settles herself between your legs. 

“I was gutted I didn’t get a taste before.” Wanda mutters. She licks you greedily and moans as your taste fills her mouth. “Now you’re all mine.” 

And fuck, your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

She doesn’t relent once she has you, arms locking around your thighs to keep you where she wanted.

Her tongue moves at an almost inhuman speed against you, wet noises gushing from you.

When Wanda shifts her arms from you, you whine at the loss of contact. 

It’s only for a small moment however; as seconds later, with a devious grin and wink up at you, Wanda slips two fingers into your clenching hole, and when you feel her teeth graze your clit, a small scream escapes you. 

Your eyes flutter shut as you can feel the coil in your belly tightening again.

Your hands grip onto Wanda’s hair.

“Gonna cum already for me, kotenok?”

“Uh huh.” 

You shamelessly grind your hips up to meet her face. 

“That’s my girl.”

“Faster.” You all but plead. 

Wanda’s fingers curl inside you as she quickens her pace, switching from sucking on your clit to rubbing it with her free hand. 

“I wanted you to ride my face,” Wanda says as she moves herself closer to your face before kissing you soundly. “But I was just too eager to fuck you, baby girl. Maybe next time.”

“S-sure!” 

You continue to moan as Wanda’s fingers fuck you qucker, moving in such a rhythem that has you squelching around her. 

When she stops abruptly, your eyes are quick to look at her. 

She smiles smugly down at you as she removes her glistening fingers to suck them into her mouth. 

Wanda moans at your taste.

“Your turn.”

You open your mouth as Wanda slides her two fingers into your mouth. 

You’re quick to suck on them, tasting the small residue of yourself still on her. 

“That’s a good girl. Get them nice and wet for me, detka.” Wanda is hypnotised by the way you suck on her fingers. “Not that you need it, you’re so fucking wet for me.”

When she pushes back into you, two fingers automatically curl, she doesn’t stop, doesn’t let up until you’re shaking under her. 

She kisses you as you let out an incoherent steam of words, hands cupping her face as you close in on your high. 

“That’s it.” Wanda pecks your nose. “Cum for me.”

The coil in your belly snaps.

You let out a silent cry as your orgasm hits you, body shuddering under her. 

She lets you ride it out before withdrawing her fingers from you, kissing you soundly.

“You okay, detka?” she asks, settling beside you.

You can’t figure out how to form words anymore so you can only nod at her. 

“Good girl.” She sucks on your fingers again, enjoying your taste. “I’ve got one question to ask you though.” 

“Oh?” 

“Think you can cum again for me?” 

You stare at her, slightly dumbfounded. 

“I - I…maybe?” 

Wanda grins. 

She settles more comfortably on her back and brushes her hair out of her face. 

“Hop on, baby girl.” 

“What?” 

“You heard me. I want you to ride my face. C’mere.” 

When you don’t move, Wanda raises an eyebrow. 

“Do not make me ask again. Come here.” 

You rise on shaky legs and slowly mouth her face; where Wanda wastes no time. 

She pulls you down roughly against her face, lips enclosing around your pussy. 

In hindsight, you’re wondering if you should be ashamed of how quickly Wanda made you cum like that, her mouth and tongue working wonders against you. 

It takes you under 60 seconds until your release is leaking down Wanda’s chin and you’re being nudged back onto the bed, panting. 

“You taste amazing.” Wanda murmurs, gathering your excess juices on her finger before licking them clean. “I think I’m hooked.” 

“I think I’m hooked, Wanda.” You let out a shaky laugh. “Is it bad that I can't feel my legs?”

Wanda lets out a laugh, watching as you look around the bedroom. 

“Is it bad that I’ve just noticed Carol and Nat aren’t here…?” 

Wanda snorts and taps your nose. 

“I’m sure their gigantic egos will be able to cope.” 

“Where are they?” 

“Business called.” Wanda glances at your bare chest. “They’re on a Zoom in the office.” 

“Weren’t you needed?” You ask. 

“Trying to get rid of me?” 

You snort out a laugh. 

“Shut up.” 

Wanda hums and leans down to peck your lips. 

“I could have gone but I wouldn't have done much.” Wanda replies. “Besides, there’s a beautiful girl in our bed; what better excuse is there?” 

Your eyes widen.

“You didn’t tell your boss that, did you?” 

Her fingers trace down the length of your jaw.

“So what if I did?” She asks. “In fact, we all told the bosses the same thing…” 

“What?” 

“Relax, detka; we’re the bosses. It’s our company.” 

You’re shocked but then you can’t really say you’re surprised. Everything just makes sense. 

“Of course you are.” 

Wanda can’t stop smiling.

“They’ll be finished soon enough. Then we’ll all get ready and go out; as long as you’re able to walk that is.” 

“Oh! We’re still going out?” 

“Of course...we don’t intend to keep you trapped in our bed.” Wanda replies, “unless you want to be...” 

You playfully shove her with a laugh.

“Where are we going?” You ask.

Wanda shrugs.

“Don’t know.” 

“You’re lying.” 

“I’m actually not. Carol and Nat won’t tell me either. Apparently I’m a walking spoiler. Or whatever that means.”

This time it’s your turn to tap her nose. 

“That is hilariously cute.” You say. “Do you really not know where we’re going?” 

“Nope. They don’t tell me about gifts either because I can’t keep them a secret.” 

You stretch and let out a loud groan. 

“What time are we going again?” You ask. 

“1. You’ve got about an hour until we need to go.” 

You pause to think before saying,

“I have two requests…” 

“Go on,” Wanda replies, interested. 

“Am I okay to have a shower before we go? I smell of…sex…” 

“Of course, kotenok.” she grins. “What is your next request?” 

“Can you carry me? I think my legs have turned to jelly.” 

❤️💋❤️💋

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.6.5 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9 Pt.10 Pt.11 Pt.12 Pt.13 Pt.14

Tag List under the cut! 

@fishlikestuff @spartanghost118 @ironsnowstorm @romeo-the-cactus @brutashafan @midnightreme @your-my-mission @trikruismybitch @bitxhinthecomments @messuhp @severepeanutartisanhands @8plasma @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @khiaraaa-in-spacee @madamevirgo @selluequestrian @kaitlynroseb @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @coollemonsaresour @pianogirl2121 @loomontoia @wandas-lover @cybeleceto @tomy5girls @starmako26 @claudiamyan @emilyprentisslittlewhore @vynia @cordeliaswhore @angelicl-y @ashadash0904 @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all @stuckyforliife @ktstudies @your-my-mission @tomy5girls @coollemonsaresour @khiaraaa-in-spacee @emilyprentisslittlewhore @umsolikeblog @angelicblackwolf @pianogirl2121 @upsidedowndanvers @anastasiabeaverhousen87 @wrennieee-blog-blog @spiderling-18 @madamevirgo @beforeoursecrets @8plasma @imdreamingblo@wandas-love @mmmmokdok @greydinosauregg @crazylittlereader2474 @thatonehippiefriend @midgardianweasley @battleg03 @sav06nat @marvelwomen-simp @ineedafinghug @suki-is-a-queen @wandanatblogs @wandanatstan @im-in-demilesbians-with-you @crispychaospanda @raqelacevedo @harmoni0527 @starmako26 @osterfield23 @wandanatblogs @ophelias-heart @natashafamdreams @osterfield23 @sweeterlust @adyadalia  @jemilyssecretlover @aleynaishere @jayxxace @smileyromanoff @ashadash0904 @scxpingdrms @amcg0615 @insomniac-delusions @yorkthelocksmith @emilyprentisslittlewhore @wandavixen @gay-ant @iwantwatermelonrn @marvelxdickinsonmarvelxdickinson @marvelwomen-simp @alianovnasworld @whhyyynottt @wandaswigglywoos-ish @lexi-2003-love @smallestavenger @mcu-churrio @fastlikealambo @luflufsstuff @birdie0101 @fabgronsky @insomniac-delusions @theheeheeman @idontknownemore @scxpingdrms @depression-desu @ashadash0904 @demonslayer06 @spookymomfriendtm @smromanoff @raqelacevedo @wandanatfan @simpforflorencepugh1 @s1ut4nat @d14n4ol @alianovnasworld @academiagaymess @natblidaclexa @childofsapph0 @mellxa @messuhp @valiantmugcowboyscissors @luflufsstuff @lorsstar1st @alianovnasworld @wandaswigglywoos-ish @itwas-neverreal @pianogirl2121 @itwas-neverreal @forever-a-diamond-bitch @sayah13 @scxrlett-wid0w @alianovnasworld @froufrousnowman @scarletwidow21 @robnicole @likefirenrain @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @ejeiwbskqn @arin-swear-rose @aloaph @jjs-doll @mommysslutsworld @geico-insuranc @ashadash0904 @scxrlett-wid0w @sayah13 @froufrousnowman @anyilherrona @alianovnasworld @whhyyynottt @schuylersthelimit @tomy5girls @caylusromanoff @sadlesbitch @silver-lotus @milaackerman69 @onmykneesforwanda @imtrebleandsharp @alana-debnamcarey @comfy-mee @immathinkerg @simpforwandanat @alianovnasworld @luckypupsmama @sophiecala @shrekisloveshrekislifw @xoxolittledizzy @nattyswidow @mcu-romanoff @njavezan @laurenmaximoff @druggedduck @laylayb1106 @speedytimetravelgalaxy @snowdrop1026 @scarletts-future-wife @darling-dontforgetme @r4nd0mgir1 @heartsforlee @r4nd0mgir1 @heartsforlee @geico-insuranc @copper-boom @emmamaximoff11@sweetmissnothing @readings-stuff @villanelles-little-wh0r3 @bigfinsquidd @copper-boom @yelenatwanda @wizardofstories @beinggayanddoingcrime @ashw0lf @adnawidow @wandanats-ghost @mall6ry @violetromanova @navyblueobsessed @elle-romanoff@readings-stuff​ @practiceinpublic@yelenatwanda@simplysimping999@darling-dontforgetme@talia-alianovna@maiyaisdumb @inluvwithfictionalwomen@gay-ant@wannabe-fic-reader@10-19-17uswnt@rt--link@sluttyforfemaleavengers@im-just-a-gay-fanfic-reader@anastasiabeaverhousen87@olicity-boo@gryffindorkromanoff@ara-a-bird@lesbianfornatasha​@anchorjdm​@whoreforjimhopper​

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 26

welcome to the twenty-sixth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. suite on you by @adelfie

Lance feels a little jarred when he sees nothing friendly in the suitemate’s eyes, and then foolish. He scrambles to find something to say. “Do you have any rules?" Keith’s eyes darken. “Yeah. Don’t bother me this semester. Or ever.”

-- Accident-prone Lance McClain learns that his grumpy suitemate, Keith, has one rule: to leave him alone. Lance would really like to follow that rule. Really. But his clumsiness has other plans.

(Or, 5 times Lance bothers Keith and 1 time Keith lets him.)

any fic that uses the Lance is a Ray of Sunshine tag is a fave of mine bc he is. i loved how in this one keith called lance sweet, not like an adjective but as a petname?? anyways it killed me and it made lance melt as you might have guessed. i loved it

2. Shiro, You Ignorant Slut by notverystraight

“I like Keith,” Lance blurted suddenly.

Shiro blinked. “Oh.” Not exactly the revelation he’d been expected. “He likes you, too.”

- In which Shiro accidentally reveals Keith and Lance’s feelings for each other… without even knowing about them in the first place.

god bless fics that write shiro as the dorky dumbass he is. he WOULD be the one to spill the beans without knowing that there are even beans to be spilled. i love him

3. Escalate by demonsushi01 [EXPLICIT]

Day 15. Flustered

5 +1 Fives times in which Lance is flustered by Keith during their relationship, with it steadily shifting from more innocent things as it continues. And one time in which he gets back at Keith.

this mostly isnt explicit, its mostly just klance turning their relationship into a competition lol. they also spend a significant amount of time embarrassing their friends which is excellent

4. Part of Your World by @floranna

Keith sat at the dock, glaring at the water, wearing only his speedos. It was a bright, warm, and sunny day, with slight enough of a breeze to keep the worst of the heat away. Not like Keith cared or anything like that, of course, but…

Everything spelled that it should have been a beautiful, wonderful day, full of wonderful memories, if only that sharp-toothed half fish would actually show up!

happy belated mermay my loves <3 you want klance? teasing and soft and domestic? monstertron? lance with very sharp teeth? keith being very into lance with very sharp teeth? one stop shop babey

5. Hunk’s List of Grievances by @littlecinnamonbunny

Honestly, Hunk deserves better.

or

Five times that Hunk thought he walked in on Lance and Keith doin’ the hanky-panky, and one time he actually did.

this fic made me LAUGH. like literally out loud. let me introduce yall to my favourite part:

And that’s when it happens.

A familiar gloved hand comes into view, pale fingers pushing back Lance’s fringe with a soft groan, and Hunk realizes that Lance's mouth is currently preoccupied and will not be able to respond. But it’s too late because Hunk’s already opened his own mouth to speak.

“Hey Lance, Allura wants to– hoLY F- oh yup okay that’s definitely a dick, goodbye I’m gonna erect myself out of- eject! - eject myself out of the airlock now.”

He turns on his heel and speed walks the fuck out, and even Yellow is sending him questioning concern that tingles the corners of his mind (though it’s tinged with amusement, the filthy traitor) and he ignores Lance’s choking and coughing and swearing.

He also chooses to ignore Keith’s mortified cry of his name along with “wait-!” because no Keith, why the fuck would he wait?!

‘Oh sorry, let me just pause in my desperate attempt at fucking off for a moment so you can remove your genitals from the back of my best friend’s throat and try and convince me that your penis was checking for cavities’.

like holy shit 😭😭 words cannot express how out of pocket this whole fic is like i genuinely cannot read it without smiling

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[itslottiehere]

the one that could have been — (h.s)

hello beautiful people 🤍 welcome back! this is inspired by one on my favourite ‘friends’ episode — season 6 episodes 15 and 16 — named, as you can see from the title, “the one that could have been”. i had so much fun writing this, and i hope you all enjoy it. please, do let me know what you think! and if you have any requests, don’t be afraid of leaving them in my asks, i’ll look through them as soon as possible. if you wish to read something else from me, you can check the tag “my writing” on my blog (i still need to make a masterlist). thank you for reading! please like, reblog and let me know what you think! it really helps me a lot <3

tw: swearing, fluff, angst (?) a tiiiiny bit of smut (?)

word count: 5.1k

masterlist | let me know what you think here

—

he tried his best not to look so shocked, but the red on her cheeks told him he wasn’t doing a great job at hiding his surprise.

“stop looking at me like i’m some freak show! not everyone got to be the captain of the football team, someone had to be the loser in band.”

“you weren’t a loser, you were just quiet and-“

“harry, i was in band and i played the big ass drum in costume. it’s okay to say that i wasn’t the coolest person in school.”

“i thought you were cool.”

“you thought i was nice enough to let you copy my homework, which i was. but yeah, you must’ve found something in me if you stuck around even after high school.”

“hey! i talked to you because i thought you were nice, and cool and funny. and perhaps it had to do a little with the homework stuff, but mostly the other things!”

you threw him your napkin and laughed at how silly he was.

“but you can’t blame me for being a little surprised.”

and, here it was.

“i knew i shouldn’t have told you anything! now you think i’m weird and now everything between us is going to be weird and fuck, you’re a shit friend sometimes.”

“hey! i’m not! and i’m sorry for how i reacted, it’s just that i wasn’t expecting for this date to be your first... date. nothing wrong with that though! it’s perfectly fine!”

so, the thing is she was a virgin. she was 25 and hadn’t had a date yet, which isn’t something she was embarrassed about, she was waiting for the right person. but the look on harry’s face, who was staring at her with a “oh my god you have two heads” look, made her feel a little embarrassed. she knew who she was talking to, and having known him since high school meant that he told her all about his excapades, while she quietly listened to him and never said anything else. he was always so open about all his experiences, and he just figured she was more closed off, which was totally fine, and he wouldn’t pry informations about that part of her life: if she wanted to let him know, he would gladly listen, but whenever she is comfortable enough to do so.

though, if harry had to be totally honest, her not sharing that part of her life with him — until recently, that is — was maybe for the best: he doesn’t like it, but he can be of the jealous kind. and to think about anyone getting that close with his best friend, who was basically the best person walking on earth, made him feel something in his chest, something he couldn’t quite put a finger on.

“so, where’s this james guy taking you?”

“uhm, actually he’s coming over, i’m going to cook him dinner.”

“oh, that’s nice! your cooking is amazing, he’s going to love it.”

“yeah, i hope so.” she nibbled on her lip.

“hey, come here.” he held out his hands for her, waiting for her to take them. “if he’s not a total idiot, he will love it. and if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t deserve you. please, please don’t settle for someone who isn’t worthy of you. especially for something so important to you.”

she knew harry was a sweet person, who cared about her feelings, but it still shocked her a little bit, because he had such a serious look in his eyes.

“yeah, i know H, thank you for worrying.” she gave him a tight-lipped smile. “but now, leave.”

“excuse me? are you kicking me out?”

“yeah, i am.”

“but whyyy?” he whined like a grumpy child. all that was missing was him stomping his foot on the ground, to complete the picture.

“have you already forgotten that i have a date tonight for which i have to get ready?”

“yeah but i can still stay here a while, can’t i?” he was giving her those puppy eyes, that menace. she knew what he was doing.

“no! stop looking at me with those eyes.” she laughed. “i’m so sorry, i wish you could but i have to get dinner ready and get ready myself, and i feel like i’m already running behind.”

“alright, alright.. i’m leaving... all alone... by myself... kicked out by my own best friend... in the whole world...” he dragged every word, dragging his feet on the ground.

good god, he was such a man child at times.

“i promise i’ll text you if something weird happens and i feel uncomfortable. or else, you’ll be hearing from me tomorrow morning.” she really wished she was going to text him the following morning.

“alright angel, let me know if everything is okay. i’ll be over in a heartbeat if it isn’t. and remember: don’t overthink too much, try to enjoy your date.” he put his hands on her shoulder and looked into her eyes, because this was important and he wanted her to know she really had to enjoy tonight.

“i will, thanks H.” she ushered him towards the door, and opened it, basically shoving him out of her home.

“byeeeee. oh wait-“ he was almost out of the door. “please send me a pic of your outfit, i’m curious.” he said, raising his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

“yeah yeah, bye now.” she closed the door behind him, put her back against it, closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

now it was time to get everything ready.

she decided to prepare dinner and set the table first, before getting ready herself, so she went to the kitchen and started making her famous lasagna. harry went crazy for it, he always asked her to prepare it for his birthday dinner.

“it can count as my present! i won’t ask for anything else, i promise!”

she knew it was really good, it was her nonna’s recipe, so of course it was delicious. she grew up eating it, and whenever she cooked it, it was like she was brought back into that small kitchen, in the italian countryside, her nonna and nonno smiling at her because she had sauce all over her mouth. maybe it was stupid, but cooking this for someone held a level of intimacy that for now she only shared with harry. she told him the story about her grandparents and he listened to her, giving her his undivided attention. at the end, he just told her “i wish i could taste the one your nonna used to make.”

so, preparing this for james, already set the mood for tonight, how serious it was for her. she went out with him a couple times, just simple lunch dates — both cut short because he was called back to the hospital — but he was nice, albeit a bit boring at times, and she was kinda growing tired of not being intimate, so she thought he could be “the one”.

after putting the lasagna in the oven, she set up the table and went to take a shower, that kind of showers that consist on three different hair masks, face and body creams, serums and all that. after that, she went to check in on dinner, but it still wasn’t ready, so she went back to do her makeup and dress up. she put on a simple dress, her favourite one: it was of a dark red colour, with a bit of lace on the back, long enough to keep her comfortable but still not too long.

she snapped a picture for harry, just a simple mirror selfie with her hand up in a peace sign and sent it to him. it took him no more that 4 seconds to text her back.

“you look absolutely gorgeous. he’s going to love you. x”

she smiled, put her phone away and finally went to take the lasagna out of the oven, proceeded to put it on the counter to let it cool a little.

james should have been on his way now, so she decided to tidy up the last things. then, she heard the doorbell.

game time.

she was giddy, scared and over all a bit overwhelmed. this night meant so much to her, she just wanted it to be good.

she walked to the door and greeted him with a big smile.

“hello, you.” he said, smiling as well.

“hi!”

“this is for you.” he gave her a bottle of wine, one she liked a lot as well.

“oh my, that’s so nice of you, thank you. please, come in, make yourself at home.” she said, walking further into her flat, going to the kitchen to fetch a couple of glasses for the wine.

“this is a nice place, thank you for having me over.” he said from the living room, while taking a seat on her couch.

“oh thank you! and of course, it’s my pleasure.”

she walked back into the living area with two glasses, and set on the couch with james.

he was talking about some case he had at work, and she was half listening, half pretending to.

she could do this, couldn’t she? this was going well, they were drinking wine on her couch, making a bit of small talk, dinner was waiting for them in the kitchen... all was going to be fine.

her thoughts were interrupted when james took the glass from her hands and put it on the tiny table in front of her sofa.

what was he doing?

“you look beautiful tonight.”

oh, that was what he was doing.

“oh, uhm, thank you.” she smiled shyly. “you look handsome as well.”

“well, thank you.”

he inched closer, putting a hand on her thigh, the other stroking her cheek. she felt her breath hitch, how long has it been since she had been kissed? probably years. god.

his face came closer and closer, and when he closed his eyes, she did the same, preparing herself for what was going to happen next.

and when his lips touched hers, she felt... okay. nothing weird. no fireworks, no butterflies. it was a normal kiss.

she can’t say she wasn’t a bit disappointed. wasn’t this moment meant to have her feel like she was walking on air? head and body all floaty and tingly, stomach filled with butterflies? she always thought it was going to feel like this. she daydreamed every time she read about it in her books, how even the tiniest touch could bring up the biggest spark between two lovers.

but this wasn’t it.

this was okay, really, it was a good kiss. he was touching her not too roughly, and it wasn’t making her uncomfortable. it was just not what she thought it was going to be like.

“maybe those were all just fantasies, maybe the real thing is supposed to feel like this.” she thought. so she decided to suck it up, and just let herself enjoy this moment.

she had one of her hands on his chest, the other around his neck, playing with his hair.

and when she heard a small moan from him, she thought she was doing a good job. he was enjoying it!

but soon, it got her to overthink about how she didn’t make any noises: was she supposed to? was he expecting them? was she weird for not making any?

her interior freak out was cut short by a phone ringing.

“shit.” james said, disconnecting their lips.

oh no, not again. it’s the third time this has happened; although, the other times it happened she didn’t really care all that much, because their lunch was almost over, so it wasn’t really cut all that short.

he checked his phone and sighed.

“i’m sorry, i have to take this.”

“yeah, yeah, of course.”

he gave her a tight-lipped smile, apologised again, and got up to answer the call.

she sighed and slouched on the couch. maybe it was a friend just wanting to say hi? maybe they could still have dinner and a nice night.

“i’m sorry, i really am, but i have to go back to the hospital, they need me.”

of course not.

“oh.” she stood up, straightening her dress and looking down. she was disappointed of course, but it wasn’t his fault, wasn’t it? the hospital needed him so he had to go.

“i’m sorry, maybe i can get off early and-“

“oh no, don’t worry! do what you have to do, don’t worry about me.”

“we’ll do this another time, yeah?”

“yeah, of course. let me walk you to the door.”

after bidding goodbye, she closed the door.

“yeah, this night blows.”

—

she decided to put some more comfortable clothes on, and also took her makeup off, so she could enjoy her — now, solo — dinner.

there was going to be so much leftovers, she thought. so, why not ask someone if they wanted some?

—

harry was at home, fresh out of the shower, thinking about what to do for dinner. having cereal and milk again didn’t sound too appealing.

when he heard a ding from his phone, he thought it was from the guys, asking him to go out.

but when he heard a second and then a third ding, he actually went to check who the texts were from.

and when he saw his best friend’s name pop up, his heart skipped a beat. she said she would’ve texted him only if something bad was happening, so what happened?

“hey, date finished early. pretty bummed tbh.”

“did you already have dinner?”

“because i have leftovers. want to keep me company?”

as if he could ever say no, both to her and to her home cooked meals.

“yeah of course! i’m on my way. x”

he put on the first sweatshirt he found, and he was out the door.

—

when the doorbell rang, she just answered with a loud “it’s open”.

harry let himself in, took off his shoes and looked around to see where she was. when he saw her in the kitchen, his heart acted all weird.

he couldn’t understand if it was from seeing her in sweats and his old fleetwood mac shirt, feeling warm at the sight of her wearing his clothes, or if it was by seeing that she wasn’t in the dress she was wearing in the picture he received before, meaning that her date didn’t go as planned, which made him a bit sad. he doesn’t know much about this james, but from what she’d told him he seemed like a nice guy. so why didn’t the date go through?

“hi, angel.”

“hey.” she answered, with a somber tone.

“is everything okay?”

“are you ready to eat? i made lasagna.”

that struck harry. she made her date one of her (and his) favourite home cooked meals, he knew how much it meant to her.

“yeah, of course. but you still have to answer my question.”

“can we eat first? then we can talk about how miserable my love life is.”

he chucked a bit. “of course, let me help you with the plates.”

they ate almost in silence, the only sounds you could hear were harry’s praises about her cooking.

“angel, you should be a chef.”

“if i pay you, can you cook me meals for dinner everyday? i’m tired of having milk and cereal five days a week.”

“harry, you can’t have milk and cereal for dinner everyday!”

“i know! that’s why i’m asking you this!”

after they finished eating, she took the plates to the sink, and he followed her.

she started washing their plates, when harry cleared his throat.

“what?”

“what are you not telling me?”

she sighed. “the date was cut short. james was called by the hospital, and he had to leave, exactly like the two times before tonight.”

“oh.” he didn’t know what to say.

“yeah.”

“i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay, it wasn’t meant to be, i guess.”

“you really liked him, huh?” he said, and why was it so hard for him to get these words out of his mouth?

“i mean, i wasn’t in love with the guy, he was okay. i don’t know, we kissed for a bit, i didn’t feel anything, and now that i think about it i probably wouldn’t even have gone all the way.” she said all in one breath.

harry listened closely to what she said, and he had one single thought.

“can i just ask you something?”

“yeah, sure, go for it.”

“why haven’t you ever asked me?”

she dropped the plate she was drying in the sink. did she heard right?

“uh- uhm, what?”

“why haven’t you asked me to help you out with.. that?”

she couldn’t bear how weird the situation was. so, naturally, she laughed it off.

“you’re so funny H, always said you should be a comedian.” she dried off her hands and made her way to the living room.

Harry followed her, gently grabbing her wrist to stop her from running away, putting his chest to her back.

“i’m not kidding. i’m genuinely asking you why, in over 10 years of being best friends, you’ve never asked me.” his hands started travelling from her wrist to her waist.

“isn’t it obvious? you’ve just said it: we’re best friends. doing that would make everything weird and complicated, and i don’t want that.”

“are you sure that that’s it?”

“yeah, of course it is.”

“angel, i can’t even see your face right now and i know you’re lying: you’re a shit liar, you know that. and i’d like to think that i know my best friend a little too well to not know when they’re lying.”

she huffed, she hated that she couldn’t lie to him, ever. but she hated more that she had to come clean now, so she tried convincing him one last time that there was nothing more.

“i’m not lying. that’s the only reason.”

he sighed, and turned her around.

“now look me in the eyes, and say that.”

the fucker. he knew for a fact that she wasn’t able to lie, especially if she looked in the eyes of the person she was trying to lie to.

“alright, fuck, you win. it’s not the only reason.”

“and do you mind telling me what is it?”

she took a deep breath, she really doesn’t want to, because she knows for a fact it’s going to make her sound like an idiot.

“it’s just.. i know that you don’t like me that way, and that you never did, back in high school or college. i’m not your type and that’s fine! i don’t blame you for it, everyone can have a preference.”

he was stunned. she took his silence as a way to tell her to go on.

“and so, i’ve never asked you any “help” because of that. i didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position, of having to tell me the ‘no’ i already knew was coming, and ruining our friendship. never in a million years i would want that, so i never did.”

she released a breath, and looked up at him.

he was looking at her with wide eyes, that held a certain softness.

“and now i’ve made it weird all the same, fucking hell, i told you i wasn’t supposed to-“

“no angel, no, it’s okay. i just.. i don’t understand. have i made you feel ugly? is that it?”

“no H, no, it’s just that i saw the girls you went out with and we aren’t the same. they were gorgeous, like drop dead gorgeous, and so sweet and just incredible. some were even wayyyy out of your league, but you charmed them all the same.” she laughed, and it made him laugh as well.

“heyyy, that’s rude.” he whined, making her roll her eyes.

“but i am sorry, if i ever made you feel this way. i‘ve never wanted to. i think you’re beautiful, breathtakingly so.”

“oh stop it, that’s not true.” she tried to leave his grasp, but it only tightened on her waist.

“no, i’m serious. i think you are probably the most beautiful person i know, and not just on the outside. you’re a beautiful person all over, you look great and your soul is beautiful. you’re sweet and caring and just amazing, and i can’t believe you think i didn’t think this about you.”

she looked up at him and couldn’t believe how sweet he was being. was he saying all this out of pity?

“i can see the wheels turning in your head, what are you thinking about?”

“i was just thinking that maybe you’re being so sweet out of pity. because my night didn’t go the way it was supposed to.”

he scoffed. “you’re just so dense sometimes. i’m telling you this because i really do think those things. why can’t you just accept that?”

“uhm, okay then.. thank you H, for saying all of this.”

“you’re welcome, angel. now... would you want to?”

“what?”

“would you want me to kiss you?”

what the actual hell was happening. was he actually asking her this? her best friend of ten years was asking her if he could kiss her. harry. her harry. her best friend harry. no way.

“we don’t have to, angel. just... if you want, i could kiss you and we can see if it feels good for you, and if you feel comfortable with that. i just want to make you feel good, and i hope you know you’re safe with me. i don’t expect anything to happen, nothing more than a kiss, if you even want that.”

“uhm. i-“ she was afraid of what was going to happen to them, but she so wanted to be selfish. just this one time. one kiss, that’s it.

“i think i’d like that. i feel safe with you.”

“yeah? you do?” he looked down at her, and a sheepish smile spread across his face.

“yeah, i really do. but do you?”

he could swear his heart was about to jump out of his chest. how cute was she? he was the one who proposed the whole ordeal, but she still wanted to make sure he felt comfortable.

“of course angel, it’s you. i always feel safe with you.”

they couldn’t lie to themselves, they both thought about this moment from time to time. 

the first time harry wanted to kiss her was at their junior prom, when he saw her in that long, beautiful dress, but didn’t because she had a date — and so did he —, especially when he saw she was having so much fun with aaron (her date), dancing around the school gym and laughing, and he thought he wanted to be the one who made her laugh like this forever. but he was late, and aaron already filled that position. so he made his peace with it, and spent prom night with his date, a lovely girl of course, but she wasn’t her.

and the first time she really, really wanted to kiss him was during a football game. it was their first year of college, and she was busy with finals, but harry begged her to come because he was the quarterback and promised her his team would win if she was there. so, when his team scored the winning touchdown, before even celebrating with his teammates, he looked for her in the bleachers and when he found her he had the biggest smile on his face, running towards her shouting “it’s because of you! it’s you!”. she never wanted to kiss someone that badly ever in her life. thankfully, when she came down from the high of his victory, she just hugged him tight, while he picked her up and spun her around. no kiss.

but now, how could she turn him down? how can she not kiss those lips? they seems so soft, like soft pink pillows.

harry couldn’t wait for it anymore. ever since he was a teen, he asked himself what it’d feel like kissing her, tasting her lips. he got close to do that too many drunken nights, but never did because either both of them were intoxicated or because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

but now? they were both trembling with anticipation. so, he put his hands on her face, and slightly turned it upwards, looking deep into her eyes.

“are you sure?”

“yes, i am.”

“positive?”

“yes.”

“swear on your mum?”

“would you kiss me already?”

he didn’t have to be asked twice. he leaned in and softly touched her lips. the kiss started slow, like they wanted to test the water first, make sure nothing felt wrong.

‘wrong’ was the last word she would use to describe this kiss.

this is what a kiss should feel like: all the butterflies she didn’t feel before with james, here they were, batting their wings away in her stomach, making her feel like she could fly away.

harry’s hands travelled down her waist, one towards her bottom, and he broke the kiss for just a second.

“is this okay?” he asked.

she nodded, but clearly that wasn’t enough for harry.

“angel, i need words. is me touching you okay?”

“yes, harry, please.”

hearing her begging him made him groan in pleasure. he wanted to stay in this moment till the end of time.

he left his hands wandering on her waist, and a little lower, and brought his lips to hers once again, this time more purposefully. he licked her bottom lip, silently asking her to open up for him, and she happily obliged. her hands travelled up his shoulder, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck, tugging lightly on the curls, making harry moan a bit.

and fuck, was it hot to hear.

she kept playing with his hair when harry pulled his lips from hers, a small whimper leaving her mouth.

she fucking whimpered. he was going to heaven, that was the only explanation.

he brought his lips on her neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses and sucking here and there, making her unconsciously moan softly at his actions.

“does this feel nice, angel?”

“yeah.” she said in a breathy voice.

he could not get enough of her.

his lips reluctantly left her neck and he decided to sit on the couch, looking up at her.

he didn’t even have to say anything, because she gladly climbed on top of him, straddling him, and connecting their lips once again.

she wasn’t sure if a kiss ever felt like this. she didn’t know if it was because of how safe she felt with harry, or if he was just really good at kissing, but never in her life has she been kissed like this. it felt too good to be true.

his hands travelled to her hips, holding and squeezing her love handles, which made her a little uncomfortable, and she didn’t know if she made a sound or if harry could just read her mind, but he stopped kissing her.

“is everything okay?”

“yeah, yeah, everything’s good.” she went in to kiss him again, but he turned his head.

“you have to be honest with me. is it the position? does it weird you out?”

“no, no H, the position is great, it’s just... your hands squeezed my hips, and i don’t feel very comfortable with that, because i don’t like how squishy they are. it makes me a bit self conscious. i’m sorry.”

“hey, no need to apologise. if anything, i’m sorry. but angel, just know that there’s nothing wrong with them, i fucking love them. but i won’t squeeze them anymore now, alright? i want you to feel good and safe.”

“yes, thank you.”

he started kissing her again, softly at first but it soon became more heated, tongues touching and hands roaming over each other’s bodies; soft moans and the wet sounds of their lips connecting were all one could hear.

unconsciously, she started grinding her hips on him, making a deeper moan leave his mouth.

“angel, fuck.”

“i’m sorry, did i do something?”

“no no, fuck, it felt great. but are you sure?”

she didn’t answer him this time, she just kept kissing him and grinding on him, feeling him buck his hips to match her movements. she hoped this was enough of an answer for him.

“dear god, why didn’t we do this before?”

she let out a breathy laugh. “i was thinking the same thing.”

“what are you doing to me, angel?” she felt his hand on her hair, brushing them out of her face. she felt the coldness of his rings on her cheek, it all felt so real. almost, too real.

“mmh...“

“angel.” her pet name sounded a bit more distant, and she felt a stronger hand on her shoulder.

“angel.” the voice was getting closer, she thought. but how could it be closer if she was kissing the source of that voice right now?

“angel, wake up.” wake up?

she opened her eyes and the soft light from the tv burned her sleepy eyes. through her blurry vision, she could make out a figure, a curly headed man with green eyes was looking at her, smiling softly.

“hey angel, welcome back to planet earth.” he chuckled. “i woke you up because one of your favourite episodes of friends is coming up.”

“uh, what?” she was still a bit confused from her sleeping state. when did she fall asleep?

“yeah, season 6, episode 15? “the one that could have been”, i think that’s what it’s called, it’s one of your favourites. i would’ve let you sleep but i know you like it.”

oh.

oh.

“thank you, H. it’s one of my favourites, indeed.”

“no problem, angel. so, did you have a nice dream?”

boy, did she.

“yeah, it was good, i think, i can’t remember it right now.”

“mmh, i’ll try to believe that.” he looked at her as if he knew what she was just dreaming about. oh my god, she didn’t say anything out loud, did she? the embarrassment.

“so, where’s this james guy taking you?”

oh fuck.

–

so here it is!! i hope you all enjoyed it <3 love yaaaaaa

[creedx13]

Professor Priapism

I woke up this morning with an erection. Morning wood, as it's called, is not an uncommon occurrence for most men. Erik had voiced concern but he tends to fuss over me. As I can't feel pain or move much below my waist. He feels guilty too as if he could have saved me from becoming wheelchair bound. I prefer to see it as love rather than guilt. I love him very much, just as I know he loves me.  

 It's been 15 minutes and my little wood issue is starting to itch like pins and needles. Erik was correct. I should have listened to him. I can't spend the whole day with a clipboard in my lap and I'm starting to fear permanent damage. I've read about Priapism after my spinal cord injury; it hasn't been a problem up until now. 

I give my students a study hall period and trust them to study together quietly and peacefully. I quickly wheel myself down to Hank's lab. It's also the school medical bay. Hank is the most brilliant of my former students; he has several PhDs, a medical license and a political career. He is now a colleague and a trusted friend. 

A friend that now has to stick needles in my penis to ensure my genitals don't fall off. God this is embarrassing. We are both mature adults who can handle this with grace and professionalism. But I still clearly remember Henry as a teenager. This makes me feel old. Not to mention perverted. None of this is anyone's fault, but that fact doesn't make me feel better about it.

I sneak into one of the exam rooms and summon Hank telepathically. I am not going to make any more fuss or noise then I have to. I don't want this getting out, kids can be cruel but Logan can be a right ass.

I have no desire to become Professor Priapism. It has alliteration and that makes it catchy. The only people I ever want talking about my penis are either Hank(my doctor) or Erik(my partner and best friend).

Hank came in and quickly shut the door. "Hey ya professor, what seem to be the big emergency then?" I simply move my clipboard onto the exam table. "Oh my, is that a flashlight in your pocket or are you just happy to see me professor?" 

"I'm very happy to see you, I'm pretty sure this is Priapism, it's gone up and won't come down. I definitely need your help. I'm scared I'm going to lose it and I have kids to teach. This is so embarrassing I just want it back to normal before I start getting called professor Priapism because you know how Logan can be. I'm to busy for this shit. Fuck." 

"I hear you, just breathe, stressing will just Make this worse. Let's start by getting your pants off so I can take a look at the problem."

I lift myself up from my chair letting Hank do what he has to. 

"I doubt anyone but us know what Priapism is. If anything the kids would call you professor peepee."

"That is so much worse. Just fix it please."

Hank simply handed me a lollipop

"Try this. It will help calm your nerves."

"I'm not a child."

"Just trust me." 

"You'll want to look away for this part."

I trust him and look away, focusing on eating the lollipop. It actually does help calm me down.

" Let's put some ice on it while I analyse the sample."

Now I'm sitting in my chair with an ice pack in my lap sucking on a lollipop while Hank analyzes my blood under a microscope. I feel really rather silly right about now. At Least I’m feeling a bit better about it.

It didn't take too long for it to return to normal. Hank took my vitals and did a few nerve tests. I haven't got that done in years luckily everything was normal, At Least normal for me that is. The lesson here is that something can feel like a big disaster but turn out just fine with a little attention. That sounded wrong. What I mean is anxiety makes everything feel a lot worse than it actually is. Everything is just fine because that's how you make it. That's what losing the use of my legs taught me. Everything has a solution as long as you chill out about it. As Jubilee would say.

[timaeusterrored]

When you have the time, from the uncommon questions for college AU V: 15, 17, 18, 38, 40?

And for you, also regarding college AU V: A, B, C, H? :D

Hi love!! Thank you for the ask✨

College AU V:

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their minds?

Vincent rehearses it so hard, especially around Samurai and Rogue. He doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and is genuinely scared to embarrass himself in front of Kerry and Johnny.

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

Vincent is rather laidback for the most part, but does want people to think he’s cool (despite being very vocal about loving computers and dungeons and dragons.) but he tries to not let things get to him in that regard. He is who he is, he can’t change that and he’s loved for his quirks.

18. What does embarrass them?

Any mention that he ever dated a corpo, especially with his drastic change when he starts dating two rockerboys. And when he first met Kerry, and Kerry saw all his nerd shit, he loves his nerd shit but couldn’t help but notice that he was really taking things in. As well as actually showing off his drawings, he hates it. Mike and River have some of his stuff hung in their apartment and he begs them to take it down every time.

38. What Memory do they revisit often?

The first time he met Judy. He had just gotten suspended for fighting in middle school, and was walking around the city after sneaking out, and found an abandoned mall. When he got inside, a girl around his age was reading a comic book and they were instant friends. They found their first DnD books there, comic books. Their whole nerdy personality and friendship started there.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Vincent hates having his flaws pointed out. His ex boyfriend did it a lot, and maybe it comes with being an artist that he’s a perfectionist. It’s a reason he doesn’t like showing off his art outside of class or work, because he nitpicks at it so much he couldn’t stand if someone else saw it’s flaws. And maybe that’s a metaphor for his own life, nitpicking himself so much he can’t help but want to hide when he feels someone has found his own flaws.

Questions for me about Vincent✨

A. Why are you excited about this character?

I put a lot of me into Vincent, which could be a good or bad thing but I love him. Im beyond excited to share his story with you when it’s been beta-ed and finished, and I can’t wait for you all to meet him outside of the goofy stories I tell on here. I’m genuinely so proud of him and what I’ve put into his personality.

B. What inspired you to make them?

@mrssimply ‘Things You Can’t Learn In a Book’😭 I’ve read it so many times, and it’s stuck with me that I couldn’t stop thinking about it until next thing I knew, the green haired nerd we all know and love was born with a group of friends to play dnd with and falling in love with Kerry and Johnny. As well as @chaaistheanswer ‘s college AU. I actually used to not be into school type AUs until my brain wouldn’t stop thinking about it and now I read and look at both almost weekly now (so sorry for the tags, I just wanted to put credit where it was due😭❤️ love your works if you see this)

C. Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit into their own story?

Mmmmm yes and no, the whole college au was built around Vincent, but also couldn’t decide where I wanted him to be, what I wanted him to do or be like. As well as figuring out who his friends were, who he didn’t like, back story and such. Honestly I’m worried I put way too much detail into it and now it’s too complicated and everyone’s gonna be confused.

H. What trait do you admire the most?

I’m assuming this is about Vincent?? But probably his ability to forgive. He dates Johnny fucking Silverhand and Kerry fucking Eurodyne he’s gonna need to be able to forget, but also not letting it get to where he’s being pushed around. He and Kerry do have a very serious discussion about Johnny after something happens, and Vincent forgives him but also puts in some boundaries between the three, and nails it that he’s not leaving, and that he’s not mad, just that he’s gonna need a minute but he does forgive Kerry.

[billdecker]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

I got tagged by @mashbrainrot (at first I was like who is this?? and then I was like oh it’s you!!!) and I would tag other people but it’s too warm and I don’t know who would want to be tagged so consider yourself tagged

Were you named after anyone? My great-grandma, Sarah-Jane! Although I’m just a Sarah Ann.

When was the last time you cried? Earlier today. A couple of days ago my dad brought around some homegrown potatoes for me so I made an amazing potato salad, bit into it and one of my teeth just crumbled away. I have a big tooth/dental/dentist phobia and they aren’t taking emergencies unless really serious because of the covid backlog, so I’ve got half a jaggy tooth for the next month. So I’ve been pretty much crying every day because my teeth are like a medieval peasant’s anyway because of breakdowns meaning I neglected myself and I just feel very depressed and sad and embarrassed about it all.

Do you have kids? Nope. I have two nieces. Me and D have been together for 22 years and never even discussed it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? It depends on the person I’m with.

What's the first thing you notice about people? I don’t even know how to answer this one because I don’t meet any new people because I don’t leave my flat lol

Scary movies or happy endings? Seeing as I don’t like scary movies then it would have to be happy endings

What is your eye colour? Blue

Any special talents? Absolutely nothing

Where were you born? Stoke-on-Trent

What are your hobbies? Writing. I’ve been doing a lot of reading this year too, more than I usually do. Gardening! That’s my new favourite thing to do. The patch by my flat is probably only 2m by 1m but I’ve done a lot with it and I have loads of planters too. My instagram this year has basically just been photos of flowers

Have any pets? I have a cat named Cecil who we adopted in 2016. He’d been hit with a white van and suffered a smashed jaw and other broken bones. He was so anxious at the adoption charity that he remained up a corner and nobody wanted him. The charity were surprised we actually wanted him. He’s a gorgeous, neurotic little pain in the arse who threw up this morning because he insists on trying to eat his moulted hair. If I wasn’t living in a tiny housing association flat then I’d have a couple more cats.

What sports do you play/have you played? I used to play football but that’s it. I love watching sports but hate playing them. Absolutely loathed P.E and felt like I’d been blessed when my GP stopped me from doing it at school because I had a growth disease in my knees. Until then I’d literally purposely injure myself to get out of it

How tall are you? 5ft 5.5inches.

Favourite subject in school? History and art. I kinda enjoyed English but the books we read were shit (apart from Adrian Mole) and I really resented Ted Hughes’ poetry. Once I left school to finish my GCSEs at college, I loved English.

Dream job? I used to say to have my writing published but I’d find that far too anxiety inducing because of people reviewing it. Maybe a florist??

[keefwho]

September 11 - 2022

10:15 AM

AHHH I feel goofy. Sometimes I think I embarrass myself by oversharing or saying things at the wrong time. DOWN BOY

Today I’m a little afraid to do my mental work. The next chapter is about acceptance which has been hard in concept in the past. I expect I have to bring myself to a point where I’m okay with things I don’t want to happen at all. How do you do that? How can I just live with ‘trauma’ for lack of a better word. I guess I’ll figure it out when I get there. 

11:31 AM

Feeling kinda lonely today, even though I have people to talk to. I wish I could figure out why, or maybe it’s just normal. Im sure everyone feels lonely sometimes. Or maybe this isn’t loneliness. More like a desire to be needed/wanted. Maybe I’m still not truly okay being on my own sometimes, I want to work on that. I should be able to appreciate my own company in times like this or at least be able to distract myself with something. 

1:25 PM

God a I feel like an idiot. JUST STOP TALKING

3:32 PM

I’m trying to understand how all 6 psychological pivots fit with each other which I had trouble doing my first time around. I’m getting it this time around and just need to re-explain to myself the first 2 pivots before I read further.

We all have thoughts that are greatly automatic. They are driven by our experiences and beliefs. We can choose to listen to these thoughts or not, and many listen to them by default. This can be harmful and in my case it is. The most import first step for me is to acknowledge that the thoughts I have are automatic and I do not have to believe or act on them. 

Having a better sense of self ties into this. First of all, defusing from unhelpful thoughts frees up focus for me to use on other things like understanding who I actually am. I am not the culmination of my past experiences, I am a conscious person in the present. I don’t have to live by some kind of code I’ve subconsciously developed over time, I have the power of choice. Everyone does. There is a person behind every pair of eyes, including my own. That is “me”. 

4:07 PM

I just read the acceptance chapter again and I feel like crying (although I probably won’t.) Its made me realize how deep in the shit I am. I all feels so overwhelming, but I only have to do a little bit at a time. 

From what I was able to understand, acceptance refers to accepting how you feel in any given situation as opposed to events in the past or future. The opposite of acceptance is avoidance which only does us harm and has put me where I am today. As we continue to avoid our negative feelings, it expands to positive feelings as well. This is because positive experiences can become related to negative ones the form of opposites. To put it how the book said, cold can remind us of hot and love can remind us of rape. In my case, it might be something like feeling healthy can remind me of feeling sick. I’m not too confident that statement is entirely relevant but its the best I could think of right now. When the positives start reminding us of the negatives, we avoid them as well. The result is a sort of overall emotional limitation we put on ourselves. I can tell I’m guilty of this because I’ve been making small progress this whole journey in this area. The biggest piece of personal evidence is opening up to the idea of an elevated level of closeness, akin to romance. I’m not sure exactly why I was repressing that but I can explore that later. Right now I’m focusing on my anxiety. Acceptance will be hard but I’m positive it can lead to a future where I can accept that most days I am simply okay and thinking about potentially getting sick just shouldn’t happen. Most people operate like that. 

The first exercise is something I’ll try in VRchat later. 

In order to see the different between living with acceptance and avoidance, take a “no” and then a “yes” approach to your environment. For a few minutes, scan your surroundings and notice specific things. Say “no” to them. Dont accept them as they are, act like they need to change. They simply can’t stay that way. After that, do the same thing but think “Yes, thats fine how it is. No change needed here.” Try to notice how different the world seems between the two kinds of thinking. This could help lead to catching myself when I have a “no” mindset in my daily life. I can also do this exercise with specific thoughts, emotions, urges, and memories.

The next exercise I did was obscure. Basically taking a memory or feeling and imagining it in different metaphorical ways. Like “Look at your experience the way you would look at an incredible painting” or “Listen to it like you would a close friend.” In my case I tried using those days where my tummy is upset and I end up dealing with that with mild fear for about half the day or more. It was strange to try it but I see where it���s going.

4:45 PM

I’ve seen 2 instances/representations of people vomiting today out of nowhere and it usually triggers something in me. I usually am immediately reminded of how much I fear it and will be uncomfortable for a little bit afterwards, until I forget about it. This time I’m trying to treat this like an exposure exercise (that I didn’t ask for.) Trying to evaluate how I feel about it. I feel the urge to prepare myself mentally and physically for what I think would be a horribly ordeal. I don’t want to put up with this right now though. Today sucks, its so depressing outside and I’ve been kinda down on myself. Its that time of day where I usually feel the most anxious and today is no exception. I want to crawl in a hole and get away. 

I think if I got a hug right now I’d start crying.

8:07 PM

There are some things I need to get out, preferably through vent art because it’s like sharing my deepest feelings without anyone knowing what the picture actually means. But I can’t think of a way to portray how I feel that wouldn’t be so obvious. I don’t wanna fuck things up. I gotta find a way to express this. 

10:26 PM

I can’t do anything but suck it all up and keep chugging along. No matter how shit I am or how much I fail, there’s nothing to do on this Earth but live through it. I’ve got a lot of tough shit ahead of me and I simply don’t have the energy right now to be in despair about it anymore. Nothing matters, anything I decide to do will be equally pointless. Or equally meaningful if I want to be positive about it. I could spend the night staring at the ceiling in silence for all anyone cares.

My self worth is pretty low lately. I don’t feel like I deserve comfort or the friends I’ve come to love. I’m afraid I’m just a drain, I have negative value wherever I go. 

[mjinzx]

[11:15 AM] akaashi keiji

take me out next time.

wc: 1,060 | genre: fluff | fem! reader x akaashi keiji | cw: mentions of allergies, profanity, lewd jokes, 1st pov

[11:15 AM] akaashi keiji | bonus!

~~~

I didn’t know when it started.

At first, it was creepy. A pack of lollipops suddenly appearing inside my locker? Come on, it’s a locker for a reason, only I could unlock it, more so put stuff inside. It annoyed me, so much that I was a breath away from reporting it to the school.

But fate had a different storyline for me, and Mr. lollipop supplier (as i like to call it). Days of finding different flavored lollipops turned into weeks, and as time flew by, I grew out of my irritation. You could say that I got used to it, but never would I get used to the different notes I receive with the said sweets.

Usually, it would be the casual “good mornings” and “have a nice days”. Unknowingly, I would smile. No, more like a grin or a smirk. But I would never admit that it made me feel all giddy inside. Nope. Not ever!

Or so I thought.

It’s been two weeks since the whole set-up. I go to school, attend my morning class, go to my locker and find another pack of lollipops that I can add to my collection. I always wondered why mr. lollipop supplier decided that it would be lollipops. It could’ve been gummy bears, right? Maybe he had a special connection to the little suckers. I remember yesterday it was bubblegum, last week was peach-mango flavored, my favorite so far.

But today, bright red welcomes my eyes.

Cherry, huh? That’s too bad.

Now, don’t get me wrong! I appreciate it, of course. I would never complain about food, like ever. But the thing is, I am allergic to cherries. Yes, I get a really bad allergic reaction whenever I eat cherries, including artificial flavoring.

I didn’t want all of this to just go to waste, I’m not much of a waster, if that’s a word. So, like any normal human being, I decided to just give it to my friends! I kind of feel bad for not eating it, even though I shouldn’t because they came from a complete stranger/potential stalker, but we’re ignoring that part for obvious reasons. I don’t feel like having an allergy attack right now, not ever actually.

My thoughts were interrupted when someone came barging in.

Oh?

That’s not Suzuki sensei, rather it’s the class president.

Akaashi Keiji.

“Good morning. I apologize for the short notice, unfortunately, Suzuki sensei cannot attend math class today. Although, she did say to do an advance reading for today’s lesson. That’s all, thank you.” He said.

Queue the cheers from the students, looks like everyone’s happy about having no class, including me.

“Hey, let’s suck lollipops.” My friend told me, mimicking a sucking gesture, which honestly had a lewd look to it. Slightly baffled, I just nodded at her and laughed. Thus began their lollipop sucking, I just looked at them like they’re from another planet.

Looking back to the front of the room, I find Akaashi-san with a straight face. He’s always like that, has a poker-face with a monotonous voice, and he’s always speaking as if someone did a grave mistake to him. Like he’s mad or something, but maybe that’s just his way of speaking since he is the class president, to invoke authority, maybe? Bottom line is, he’s a scary guy.

While i was oceans deep in my thoughts, I didn’t realize that O was already staring at him, a bit too much. Noticing my rude behavior, he looked back at me and raised an eyebrow.

With my eyes widened and parted lips, I looked away.

Shit. That’s so embarrassing!

Was all i could think of. I assume he can see how flustered I am, as he was still staring at me. It was starting to get hot, like really hot. I’m not sure if that’s just me feeling flushed, or the AC is just busted. (maybe because blood is rushing thru my cheeks?!)

Saved by the bell. Students started getting out of the classroom, and so did I. I failed to notice the cheeky grins my friends gave me as they gor out of the classroom. Fumbling with my stuff, I quickly took my bag and headed out (tried to), still avoiding his gaze.

Just as i was about to go out—

“Hey, Y/N-san.”

Uh-oh.

Shit. This was not how I expected my morning to go.

I faced him, with a not-so-genuine smile on my face. “Akaashi-san! Is something the matter?” I responded. Politely, of course, shaking off the feeling of nervousness in my body.

“Forgive me. I was just wondering why you are not eating your usual lollipop just like every day?” He asked. (more like demanded but moving on)

Interesting.

How did he know that I eat lollipops every morning?

“Oh, that. Well, long-story-short, someone has been giving me a pack of lollipops every morning, today’s flavour was just not my cup of tea.” I chuckled.

“Oh… You don’t like cherries?”

Interesting, again.

I looked at him weirdly. First, he knew my usual get-up every morning, and now he knew the flavour of the lollipops?

“I’m sorry, but how did you know it was cherries?” Imagine me having the most confused face, like right now.

“Wait, you don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“I’m the one who's been giving you packs of lollipops every morning. You didn’t know?”

I-

Blink. “I had no idea.” Blink.

“I thought you knew since your friends saw me putting the lollipops in your locker one time.”

Oh, screw them! “They never told me anything. but wait! Why are you doing it, though?” I asked. Hey, I didn’t want to assume, even though I kind of know the answer now.

“Isn’t it obvious? I like you, Y/N-san.” He said with such finality in his voice, his eyes lovingly gazing at me.

“And, I was hoping you’d want to go out with me. Do you?” He asked, watching me carefully.

Hell yeah, I do!!!

Yup, this was not how I expected my day to go. I like it, though.

“Of course! I’d love to go out with you.” I smiled, genuine this time.

“That’s… That’s great! Thank you, Y/N-san.” He smiled. No, he shyly smiled.

You can say that we just stared at each other’s eyes for a good 5 minutes. I don’t hate it, but I’m definitely not complaining.

a/n: no thoughts, just akaashi as class president (*_*)

© mjinzx

[musclesandhammering]

Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

[glilboy]

ATEEZ Reactions to finding you reading smut about them: Maknae Line

i tried so hard to finish this afterworo and before bed lol. the first part did, so well? im genuinely shocked ill be honest. hope this one is just as good.

requests are open btw!!

tws below the cut

Warning! This work of fiction contains mentions of quirofilia, strength kink, dom/sub dynamics implications and general explicit topics

San:

"Baby just let me play it I just want to get us to the same level," San whined at you about a game you both played. He practically coaxed you into playing but now you genuinely enjoyed it, being hesitent to let him get you farther.

"I want to experience it myself though Sannie," you pouted back at him leaning your head on his shoulder.

"I just want to do the things you've been avoiding! It'll give you enough experience to be the same level, please," his voice became higher pitched which was your call to just let him do it.

"Whatever," you said in a fake angry voice, instantly giggling, "you do that, I'm gonna go grab a snack." You hopped up and off the bed, leaving your phone for him to mess with.

Picking up your phone, happy he got his way, he went to open the app but one was already open.

Humming he read a bit and when he read his name he twitched a little. So this was what you liked. San made you extremely nervous which caused you to be a bit hesitant to share what you liked in bed. You planned to tell him one day but he hurried that process up.

Hearing you coming back he quickly opened the right app even though he now had no actual intention to progress you.

"I am back!" you smiled plopping down with some cut fruit.

"No shit," he mused causing you to roll your eyes with a smile. His brain itching to do something now, an idea popped in seeing you eat the fruit.

Taking a piece of strawberry he held it up to your lips, you unknowingly smiled and took the fruit into your mouth. His breathing accelerated. Waiting a few minutes before he took another piece, he at first popped a piece into his mouth then grabbing another to hold it up again. You took the piece but a muffled sound of surprise came out with it when san shoved his fingers inside a bit.

Looking at him wide eyed and confused you met his which looked at you intensely. You didn't even have a chance to stop yourself before you started to suck his fingers.

"Fuck," he mumbled his gaze going a bit hazy at seeing you like this.

After sucking on his fingers for a moment you let go with a pop.

"You should really let me read more of those stories Y/N," him saying that is what made it all hit.

"Wait- oh shit," you mumbled before he took your jaw in one of his hands squishing your mouth open. The other holding another piece and pressing it to your tongue.

"I would've known sooner just how pretty you think my hands are dear."

Mingi:

Mingi could feel his face turn red, not suspecting is seemingly soft tasted girlfriend to read stuff like this. He was just trying to help! You were busy cooking dinner and asked him to send a text back to your friend, forgetting what you were last doing.

He gulped and set down your phone once sending the message. He wanted to talk about it but he had no clue how to bring it up. Once seated eating dinner you could feel the energy was off since earlier he was in such a great mood. You chose to ask about it after the meal not wanting to have an awkward dinner.

Washing the dishes you didn't feel Mingi approach from behind until he wrapped his hands around your waist.

"Hm? What's up baby?" You hummed softly with a smile.

"Can you do the dishes later...I need to talk to you about something," He set his chin on your shoulder and you could just hear a slight pout in his voice.

Drying off your hands you turned around to look at him, "what's up Mingi?"

He leaned up and took a deep breathe making you a bit worried.

"I- um fuck- Y/N I saw whats on your phone," he hesitated before just ripping off the bandaid.

Your face instantly dropped mumbling a small "ah fuck"

You stayed silent with his hands sitting on your waist. You looked at him before speaking, "Gi, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Do you want to talk about how you feel about seeing it? I'm sure you're pissed."

He tilted his head questioningly at the end, "What no- I mean, like yeah it could be weird but you're reading about me so I don't see an issue, at least as of now."

You we're now pretty puzzled, a bit tongue tied. If you remembered right, the work you had been reading was well pretty aggressive so you were sure Mingi would be weirded out. He was a soft guy and you guys experimented occasionally but nothing that far.

Being able to tell you got in your head he spoke again, "I liked it. I...liked it Y/N."

Looking back at him, his hands tightened on your waist and he moved closer so your lips brushed each others.

"Please- Fuck, can we try it?"

wooyoung:

"Y/N! Can I use your phone for a second?" Wooyoung whined laying on the bed while you we're folding laundry. He wanted attention but you had chores to do.

"Why?" You looked at him weird, knowing he was up to something.

"You'll see," he smiled, just wanting to take selfies on your phone but opened it to a book of sorts.

Curiosity got the best of him as he skimmed the page, a faint blush creeping up his neck. You guys had done a lot but something in him was set off, a smile creeping up his lips.

"Pervert," He spoke deadpanned up at you making you frown before it clicked.

"Wooyoung."

"Y/N."

A moment passed before suddenly he popped up, grabbing your hair and forcing your face into the bed. A giggle sounded from behind you as he leaned down to talk into your ear, "You read stuff like that? You're that horny for just me that you read that kind of shit? Lord your fucking head over heels for me."

"Shut the fuck up-" Your voice got cut off as he lifted you up by your hair, a hand wrapping around your throat making your mind flutter.

"Say that one more time and I'll fuck your face until you pass out like that little book dear."

Jongho:

It was supposed to be a night filled with movies, snacks, giggles and cuddles but your bladder decided to change the trajectory of the night. Excusing yourself to the bathroom you left your phone on the table faced up, not remembering that you left your tumblr notifications on around someone. The phone pinged three times in a row, making Jongho curious to which he glanced over at it.

'c. j 10:15

strength kink'

"What," he said outloud.

Clicking on the notification he began to read the work, blushing at it and embarrassed that he..liked it. Licking his lips he looked around a bit flustered.

When he heard the bathroom door shut he quickly set your phone back down, trying to not awkwardly sit there. You came back like nothing was wrong, cuddling into his side continuing to watch the film.

This is where a few days passed, each day driving Jongho more and more up the wall. Hiding in the bathroom at the studio just to get off without the chance of being caught, at least by you. Scenarios spinning in his head constantly making him want to do anything and everything at once.

When he got home that day you weren't there, his need skyrocketing to the moon. He quickly made it to your bed room and moved to the bed taking off his shirt in the process. He searched around frantically for anything of yours, spotting a t-shirt a few feet away. He pulled down his sweats letting his member spring free, bringing the shirt up to his face to inhale your scent and began to jerk off.

You on the other hand just had your friend drop you off, you jumping up the stairs excited to bring home some pastries to your boyfriend. Coming inside you quickly slipped off your shoes and looked around for him. Seeing he wasn't in the living room you headed towards your bedroom asumming he was there. Opening the door to a sight to see, Jongho jerking himself off while smelling your shirt.

You stood there silent until he opened his eyes, him now being in such a deep mindspace he didn't even seem phased. Slipping his pants back up he waltzed over to you and stood there staring at you.

"I've been going fucking insane, Y/N," he spoke getting closer, shutting the door behind you.

"What do you mean baby?" You asked softly at him. He smiled a bit and lifted a hand to your shoulder making you inhale.

"Your little fucking stories Y/N."

You looked at him wide eyed, thinking you might know which one he saw. "Jo- Fuck I'm sorry, oh god," you began to frantically apologize.

That was when he picked you up and held you up against the wall with one arm, the other hand sitting lazily around your neck.

"No. No. You've been driving me crazy in a good way. Now let me fuck you against this wall unless you want me cumming in your t-shirt."

[h0neypjm]

Just for practice | kth

↳ Summary: “I think we should normalise giving head to your friends as practice.”

↳ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, slight Hoseok x reader

↳ Genre: Smut, pwp, some plot i guess, best friend! Taehyung

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 5.3k

↳ Warnings: swearing, lip biting, hickies, oral (both female and male receiving), rough blowjobs, spanking, fingering, squirting, big dick! Tae, possessiveness/jealousy, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap pls), dom/sub themes, Taehyung calls reader lots of pet names (sweetheart, darling, good girl), degradation, biting, slight cockwarming

↳ a/n: I’ve been having major writer’s block while writing confident :( however, i saw this tweet which prompted this lil oneshot hope you enjoy

Jung Hoseok [ 2:15 PM ]

Am I gonna see you at Seokjin’s tomorrow?

You [ 2:16 PM ]

I’ll be there :)

Jung Hoseok [ 2:18 PM ]

You’re not gonna run away from me this time, right?

You [ 2:20 PM ]

No of course not haha

Jung Hoseok [ 2:21 PM ]

Is that a promise princess?

A sigh flies out of your mouth like wind through a window and you’re shucking off your glasses in an instant. Hoseok’s texts bringing back a flurry of memories that you wish to forget.

“Do you need help with your essay again?”

Your eyes are strained when they try to focus on Taehyung, your shoulders shrug in defeat. “No, I’m fine. It’s just-”

Taehyung knows immediately, he is your best friend after all. “Let me guess, It’s Hoseok isn’t it?” 

You slump in your seat while a pout is cutely drawn onto your face, you nod with dismay. “I really like him Tae, and every time we see each other, It’s like the universe has it out for me and tries to make sure I embarrass myself in front of him.”

Taehyung shuts his laptop because he knows there's no use in trying to write an essay while you speak about your utterly tragic love life. He thinks about your situation for a minute before he speaks.

“Yes, you might’ve spilled your beer on him and accidentally punched him in the eye, more than once. But, if he’s still texting you he’s obviously still into you. It’s a good sign sweetheart.” Taehyung pats your hand across the coffee table, a comforting smile adorning his handsome face.

Taehyung doesn’t know the full extent of your problem and the more you think about it the more embarrassing it becomes. So you smile back at him uttering a small thank you before turning back to your laptop.

Taehyung raises a brow, “wait, wait, hang on, something is still bothering you.” 

You frown, “it’s embarrassing.”

Taehyung shuffles around the corner of the coffee table as if you’re about to tell him a secret, though it’s just the two of you in his small apartment. “Just tell me, it can’t be that bad.”

“Taehyung it is that bad.” You tilt your head at him, pulling up the sleeves of your sweater around your tiny fists. “You’re gonna laugh at me.”

Taehyung feigns shock at your words, his hands placed on his heart for dramatic effect. “I would never laugh, and frankly I’m offended you think that low of me.” 

You roll your eyes, turning your body more towards him, deciding it wouldn't hurt letting Taehyung know the thoughts plaguing your mind. “Well, you know how Hoseok and I have been kind of flirty lately, right?” He nods in understanding. 

“I can tell he wants more than that, you know? His touches are small but I know exactly what he’s suggesting, and don’t get me wrong, the feeling is completely mutual because trust me I want that too. Really bad.” 

Taehyung hums, interrupting your soon-to-be graphic rambling. “I totally get it Y/N. Now let’s stop beating around the bush so I can help you.”

If Taehyung were a girl, this would be so much easier. You curse your eight-year-old self who just had to become friends with a boy because God, how do you even start?

Taehyung is a patient man, always giving you space before helping you but, in this situation, you feel it’s best to just rip the band-aid off. Taehyung if you can read my mind, please don’t laugh at me.

“I’venevergivensomeoneablowjob.”

You speak so suddenly, Taehyung’s not so sure he heard you correctly. “Huh?”

“Goddammit Tae”, you rub and your temples and avoid his stare. “I’ve never given someone a blowjob!”

His eyes are wide. “Oh” 

You hide your face into the table while your body internally cringes. At least he didn’t laugh. “See! You do think it’s bad.”

“I’m just surprised to be honest”, he reassures, leaning back onto his palms, strong brows pulled together in thought. “Shit Y/N, have you really never sucked a dick before?”

Sure, you’ve had sex many times (most of which have been extremely disappointing) but, it seems that most of your hookups want to get straight into fucking. No foreplay, no nothing. Just unseasoned, pleasureless fucking.

A groan rumbles out of your throat, “It just never happened! They were all about that hump and dump lifestyle I guess.”

Taehyung is utterly baffled at your statement. In Taehyung’s books, It is compulsory to treat every women like a queen. Preparing and edging them the perfect amount of times to see them crumble so sensually by his very doing. To Taehyung, seeing a woman cry out his name from experiencing the most explosive, leg-shaking orgasm was always his favourite part.

This is why Taehyung is absolutely shattered for you. “So, you’re also telling me no one has ever eaten you out?” You miserably nod, “that’s actually fucking evil!”

His words do not ease you one bit as you throw your head onto the seat behind you. “The way you say it makes me feel even worse. This is the sole reason why I run away from Hoseok and make a fool out of myself.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything, the air floating around carrying an awkward silence. You don’t really care and you don’t expect Taehyung to think of a solution. Plus, you’re already embarrassed enough.

You might as well leave and ask one of your girlfriends for help, maybe finish your essay while you’re at it. You sigh, shutting your laptop and stacking your books together. 

However, the next sentence that flies out of Taehyung’s mouth makes you stop dead in your tracks.

“I think I’ve figured out how I can help you.”

Wiggling back into a comfortable seating position, you lean into Taehyung with interest. “And how might you help me, dear Taehyung?”

He eyes you nervously, his fingers fiddling with his chunky rings, “You trust me, right?”

You smile, “yeah, of course, you’re my best friend Tae.”

An exhale puffs out of his mouth. “Why not practice on me?”

You almost choke on your spit. You definitely did not expect him to say that. “Could you repeat that please?”

A new glint of mischief sparkles in his eye. “Why not let me teach you how to give Hoseok the blowjob of his life and in return, I’ll eat you out”

Your brain is having a meltdown. 

“You’re fucking crazy”, you wail. “You actually want me to suck your dick?”

He brings his hands up in defence, “I think we should normalize giving head to your friends as practice, I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. Think about it, you get to learn and cum at the same time.”

You won’t lie to yourself, the proposal is tempting and in all honesty, Taehyung is hot as fuck. You will forever thank the Gods above for blessing you with the delicious sight that is your best friend. However, the proposition puts you in an odd spot.

Apprehensive about your thoughts, you state your unease, “I-I don’t know Taehyung, don’t you think this might ruin our friendship?” An exhale, “have you seriously thought of me that way?”

Taehyung chuckles, it’s deep and totally unexpected to your question. “Sweetheart, there are many things that go on inside my head involving you. And to answer your question, they’re not completely innocent.”

A startled gasp is ripped from your throat and your stomach flutters with a dangerous mix of nervousness, thrill and dare you say arousal.

Never in your life would you have imagined Kim Taehyung, your best friend since grade school, seeing you in such an inviting way. To make matters worse, It was intimidating to think about his fair share of experience and the long line of women backing up the fact that Taehyung was indeed some sort of sex demon.

Of course, you felt the same way. How could you not! The man was practically an incarnation of a Greek God. Broad sturdy shoulders that sat atop thick muscular thighs, and how could you forget his gorgeous fingers.

You’d die before you admit it, but there have been many nights where you have found yourself thinking about what his pretty long fingers could do to you. Those nights always ended with a mess of your sheets and a wetness between your thighs. It was your dirty little secret, however, it seems Taehyung also had some of his own.

His sharp eyes storm with darkness when he speaks, “don’t lie Y/N, I know you’ve had some dirty thoughts about me up in that pretty little head of yours.”

Pink blossoms over your cheeks like wildfire because he’s so terrifyingly right. “I don’t even need to touch you sometimes, one look and you’re a goner.” You gulp. “Look at you right now.” His gaze drops down to your thighs. “All my talking making you so needy, you need to clench your thighs to keep it together.”

He smiles, though it’s not his usual boxy, boyish smile. It’s dangerous and seductive almost smirking and shit when did he get so close to you? Your breathing is erratic and you have no idea how you could be so anxious yet so amorous at the same time. 

Your heart beats rapidly in your ears. “This is just for practice, right?”

Taehyung curses under his breath, “just for practice sweetheart.”

You don’t get to respond.

His lips are hesitant at first when they meet yours, yet his hands say the opposite. They start at your waist and tickle their way down to your stiff hands. Ever so gently, he pries them open, intertwining his long fingers with yours, and God, did his hands feel so right.

Your nerves dissipate slowly but surely as you allow him to explore your mouth with his skilful tongue. 

Much to Taehyung’s dismay, he finds you releasing your fingers from his own. Your hands flying to the nape of his neck, ultimately bringing him closer to you, deepening the kiss. Taehyung moans in delight when you tug at his long curls, you bite his lip in reply while lust paints your vision and dampens your panties.

Taehyung never knew he would miss the feeling of your lips against his when he painfully pushes himself away to situate himself comfortably on the couch. It was time for the lesson to begin.

You pout at the distance, trying to wiggle close until he motions for you to get into a particular position. Your insides swell with eagerness.

His voice is sweet and his hands are delicate when he tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Get down on your knees for me sweetheart.” You obey immediately. He smirks at your sinking form. “Good girl.”

You swear right then and there your pussy had gained a working heartbeat at his words. The unfamiliar pulse thumping as if it were trying to break loose from the constraints of your sweatpants.

Your eyes are big and expectant, slowly drinking up the sight of Taehyung’s delicious figure seated above you. He sits on the couch like it’s his throne, legs spread to accompany your kneeling figure, and dominating stare pinning you down. A shiver runs down your spine.

“Wh-what do I do now?” You utter, making it known to Taehyung that he is in charge. He is in control.

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, using a decorated pointer finger to hither your hands towards him. Hesitantly, you raise both hands, lightly placing them down on his thighs.

A click of his tongue makes its way to your ears and you know you’ve already made your first mistake. Taehyung’s brows furrow, it’s obvious you need to make the next move but your brain is fuzzy and flustered. 

He sighs at your confused silence, bringing your small hands onto his belt. Oh, you know what you’re supposed to do now.  

“I thought you were smarter than this, how else are you meant to get my dick out, hmm?” The blush across your cheeks has definitely spread profusely from his teasing. Its once peachy pink tone deepening into an embarrassing cherry red.

The buckle of his belt jingles under your fingertips as you nervously undo them. You’re apparently too slow for his liking, Taehyung finishing the job by pulling his belt off his pants, leaving you to stare down at the large bulge covered by the fabric of his tight jeans. You thought you had your nerves under control but the way your hands start to shake is an indication that this is real. You’re really about to suck your best friend off.

Ever the observant friend, Taehyung is quick to notice the slight shake in your fingers. “Wait, stop.”

You do as he says, quickly settling your palms back on the thickness of his covered thighs. “Are you sure you want to do this? your hands are shaking sweetheart.” His voice is laced with concern, a total switch to his previous words.

Clearing your throat you reply, “oh, no, no I’m fine.” You lock eyes. “I just want to make sure I’m doing good so I can be good for him.”

Possessiveness flares within Taehyung’s chest and he has no idea why. Although he doesn’t let it show, he can’t help the swell of his ego at the knowledge that he’s the first to get you like this. Not Hoseok. Him.

So, he grins his wide boxy grin, dragging a finger down your warm cheek. “Don’t worry darling, you’re in great hands”

The commanding smirk etched onto his lips sparks a surge of confidence through your veins, begging you to finally touch him.

With a tug of your small hands, Taehyung’s constricting jeans are pried off the taut muscle of his thighs and are left to pool around his ankles. The excitement of finally being able to suck dick coursing through your body like lighting, and just like his jeans, Taehyung’s boxers are off in a second.

His cock springs, tall, hard and proud. Your jaw drops, Taehyung chuckles at your reaction. You feel an ooze of wetness pooling in your panties.

His size is nothing you’ve seen before, thick and girthy with an impressive length to match. You wince at the thought of fitting him down your throat.

The cold metal of his rings against your hands brings your attention to Taehyung’s handsome face. Without breaking any eye contact, he wordlessly wraps your hands around the thickness of his cock.

It’s warm and swells in your palm, your two dainty hands stacked on top of each other. Fingers trying so hard to wrap themselves around the sheer girth of his cock.

You’re not dumb, you know what comes next. With a sharp inhale you begin to stroke up his length, paying close attention to his facial expression to get an idea of how well you’re doing

Taehyung’s head tilts to get a better view at your hands, “grip it tighter for me… yeah fuck that’s it.”

His praise boasts you on, holding tighter onto his cock and gathering the slick of his pre-cum with a twist of your wrist. Your eyes remain focused on the way the skin moves with your hands and the way his tip glistens with arousal. You want to lick it.

“When you’re ready you can put your mouth- Ahh shit Y/N!”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence when you’re already so eager to have him in your mouth. You do what you think would feel best, sucking on the head of his cock like a sweet ice lolly on a hot summer's day. Your tongue tracing the thick circumference before dipping into his slit.

A light groan falls from his mouth as he watches you lap at the remaining pre-cum that glistens in the afternoon light. Taehyung almost forgets why he’s here, lost in your plump lips wet with saliva.

Right, he’s here to teach you how to give a blowjob. “Try and take my whole length in darling.” 

You nod, taking a deep breath, your mouth opening wider to take him in as far as you can. You try to keep your throat relaxed taking him inch by inch.

“That's a good girl”, he praises, “you’re doing so well for me.” 

Your knees squeeze together, acting to relieve some pressure on your aching heat. It had truly been a while since you got some serious action.

Surprisingly you’re able to make your way to the hilt of his cock, a choked gag sputtering from your lips.

A few strands of hair fall in your face, blocking your eyes in the process. Swiftly, Taehyung brushes the hair from your eyes while simultaneously lifting your head off of his cock. 

You release him with a satisfying pop, your eyes wide and makeup a little smudged. Taehyung coaches you through the next steps. “I want you to try and do that again, but when you come back up, lick the length of my cock and look at me while you do it.”

Humming in acknowledgment you grip the base of his cock before pausing. “Isn’t this what you like though? What if Hoseok likes to be touched in a different way?”

An unintentional growl bubbles out of his mouth. Oh how he wished he could take your mind off Hoseok and have you screaming his name, thinking about him instead.

He pushes down his discontentment with the other man on your mind, “men are simple creatures Y/N, just making out sometimes can get them going. And judging by the way you’re sucking my cock right now, I’m sure Hoseok will be crazy for you.”

As Taehyung explains the ins and outs of a man’s brain, you don’t make an effort to stop the teasing of his cock. His words sound slurred, they go in one ear and out the other, and besides the delicious length in front of you is much more fascinating.

For the time being you stare up at him, your eyes wide feigning interest in his words, all while you grip his cock in one hand and continuously lap at his tip with a kitten-like flick of your tongue. 

Taehyung finally realises that you’ve stopped listening when he feels the small yet downright sensual pleasure shooting through his cock. He grunts, pushing your hair back once again, “fuck, that’s hot. You’re so fucking good.”

His preoccupied hand squeezes the pillows beside him, the veins of his hands popping out. You do what he taught you, seductive eyes laser focused on him while your wicked tongue leaves a hot trail up the prominent vein on his dick.

“Shit Y/N you’re doing so well-”

You release him from your mouth disrupting his sentence, “can you fuck my throat?”

Taehyung swears his whole body just convulsed at your request. He looks away just so he can contain himself because holy shit.

Obviously Taehyung has thought about you being in this position, saying those words. Yet, no matter how many times he fantasizes this scenario, nothing would ever prepare him for those words to actually come out of your mouth with the most bewitching grin plastered on your pretty face.

He stutters, “I- no, I don’t know if you can take it darling.”

You grip his thighs, pout forming on those dangerous lips of yours, “please Tae, I want it. Want you to use me.”

Taehyung pushes the curls of his bangs away, a hiss steaming from his lips. “Alright, but if you feel any discomfort pinch my thigh, okay sweetheart?”

You’re impatient, “yeah, yeah, I can take your monster dick.” You place a small kiss on his thigh, “do your worst.”

His movements are all too fast, all too sudden. His fingers securing a death-grip on the mess of your hair before holding his cock up to your mouth. “You asked for it darling.”

Your mouth automatically widens, welcoming the rough intrusion of his cock as it slides all the way down your throat. A lewd gag fills the room.

A dark cloud of lust of dominance fogs Taehyung’s vision, his biceps flexing when he brings your head up and down his thick velvety length.

The room resounds with the filthy wet noises of your saliva covered lips pumping repeatedly. Taehyung breathes heavily through his nose, tilting his head against the cushions behind him. He keeps his hips still, yanking your hair at an obscene pace. A slew of curses and moans fly out into the air as he revels at the complete state of ecstasy you’ve put him under.

The heat of his member burns the back of your throat but you fucking love it. You open your teary eyes, gazing at his chiseled jaw and the way he shivers and groans above you. It only spurs you on when he glances back down, meeting your mascara ruined eyes.

It’s like a knee-jerk reaction. Taehyung harshly pushes your head all the way to the base of his cock. Your face is met with his abdomen, the hairs of his happy trail tickling your nose.

He leaves you there, and the burn in your throat rises, leaving you gagging, your throat tightening around him.

Taehyung believes after this he could never get the image of your messy docile eyes and tarnished lips out of his brain. He feels your throat constrict, “sh-shit, fuck Y/N, breathe through your nose.” You inhale. “That’s my good girl.”

He releases you from his member only to push your lips back onto him, going back to his beastly pace. “You look so fucking pathetic, you think Hoseok wants a messy girl like you?”

You gurgle around him, tears freely falling down your cheeks as you try to shake your head no. He only mumbles out a groan, his cock abruptly pulsing under your tongue like a steady heartbeat.

It's all too sudden when he releases your head off his length, a glob of drool dripping down your chin and onto your shirt. 

“Fuck sorry I was about to cum.”

Although your heart swells with pride you wonder, “why didn’t you?”

He runs a hand through his messy locks, “the purpose of this was to teach you, don’t you still want to practice?”

You’re smug with your answer, “I think I’ve got the hang of it now.”

He swipes a finger under your tear stained eyes, “getting cocky now are we.” 

You were cocky indeed, “well I did get you shaking under my touch didn’t I?”

He rolls his eyes, “get up you brat, I’m gonna show you what you’ve been missing out on.”

Fucking finally.

You won’t lie, you were probably most excited to finally know what it feels like to receive head. Your mind is still fuzzy from Taehyung’s rough ministrations as you slowly get up. You wobble slightly and Taehyung is quick to stabilize you with two strong arms holding the curve of your hips in place.

With his arms already around you he pushes you towards the couch, kicking his jeans off in the process.

Back flat against his plush couch you’re already stripping off your sweatpants and panties together in one. “My, my aren’t you eager”, he teases, a glint of shamelessness twinkling in his brown orbs when he drinks up the plushness of your thighs leading to your dripping cunt.

Holding your knees in the palm on his hands, he spreads them open to reveal the glossy folds on your heat. He kisses his teeth, satisfaction and hunger clear on his face. “Fuck, isn’t this a pretty sight.”

His words bring back a blush on your cheeks, you pull him forward, your lips inches away from his own. “Shut up please.”

And he shuts you up real good. Smashing your lips to his, he envelopes you into a feverish kiss, your tongues dancing the devil's tango.

His hands are adventurous, feeling the mounds of your breasts over your shirt. “Why the fuck isn’t your shirt off yet huh?” He tuts, pulling on the cotton fabric.

“I want yours off too.” You cutely mumble tugging at the hem of his shirt, to which he complies, tugging it off in one fluid motion. 

You peel your baggy shirt off just in time to see Taehyung's arm flex as he takes his very own shirt off. “Have you been working out? My God Tae, you're as big as Joon.”

He inwardly smirks because yeah he’s been working out and it's clearly paying off. He doesn’t want to show his glee however, “can we not talk about other men when I’m about to eat you out.”

You chuckle, eyes trailing down his buff arms to his v-line that leads to his dick like an arrow directing you to his treasure. You bite your lip, unclipping your lace bralette, “sure, sure, let’s get the show on the road.”

It’s Taehyung turn to drink up the sight of your body. “Fuck, always imagined what these tits looked like under all those tight clothes you wear.”

He’s really feeding into your praise kink. “Well, were they what you expected?”

He sucks on one immediately and you arch your back at the unexpected pleasure. “Even better”, he squeezes them in his palms, “they’re fucking gorgeous.”

He sucks a deep hickey under your left breast, leaving you whimpering with a hand tangled in his hair. “Always imagined what you sounded like moaning for me.”

You can’t reply, his touches burning through your skin. He kisses down your sternum to your stomach until he’s hovering above your aching clit, a tantalising grin on his face before he’s diving in.

“Fuck!” You wail at the unfamiliar yet mesmerising feelings. His tongue is stiff and pointed, flicking quickly up and down your bundle of nerves. 

The grip you have on his hair is deathly but it's the only thing in your reach that can ground you. He licks a long stripe down your sopping slit, keeping his sharp eyes on you the whole time.

“F-feels so fucking good Tae!” You almost scream. He cups his lips around your swollen nub sucking on it with a shit-eating grin on his face.

You’re too dazed to comment on it, reeling in the new pleasures you’re experiencing. You stare down at him, your eyes half opened and so close to rolling to the back of your head.

However, they almost completely open wide at the sight presented before you. With two long fingers, Taehyung is shoving them in his mouth, soaking them with his spit before rubbing them onto your sensitive folds.

You beg. “Put them inside.. Please.” Taehyung doesn’t make a sound only kissing your clit as he plunges his ring decorated fingers into you.

You’re so wet his fingers slide into you with ease. He groans at the sensation, his view focused on the way your cunt greedily sucks him in.

“Look at you, getting my rings all dirty you filthy girl”, he scolds watching the way your essence drips into the crevices of his intricate jewellery. 

Taehyung increases the pace of his long fingers, finger fucking you into euphoria. He doesn’t stop there, his lips returning to your desperate clit in a wet mess of your juices and his saliva.

You can feel your orgasm bubbling in your stomach. It's hot and feels so unlike any other upcoming orgasm you’ve experienced. His fingers curl inside of you, his palm slapping your folds with his rapid pace and his lips don’t give any sign of stopping.

“Taehyung- Tae, I’m cumming!” You really scream this time, your orgasm taking control over your body like a demon. 

You swear your eyes black out, your body shaking, a warmth gushing out of your cunt as it spazzes out.

Your chest heaves and you blink, feeling a damp pool around you. Oh God, Did you piss yourself?

“Holy fuck Y/N, I can’t believe you just did that.”

You sit up, embarrassed, an apology falling from your lips.

“You just squirted on me.”

You’re flushed, “I- what?”

Taehyung almost looks akin to a wolf hunting down his prey. “That was the hottest fucking experience of my life, holy shit I’m so hard.”

Well at least you didn’t pee on his couch. There’s a surge of overwhelming need for his cock to be inside of you. You’ve never felt this way before, it’s scary but so is this whole experience. It’s definitely one for the books.

Getting up on your knees you hold onto his shoulders, Taehyung raises a brow. “Fuck, I need to ride you, can I ride you?”

You think you just saw his dick twitch at your words. He grins, “just for practice?”

Your smile is sickly sweet, “of course, just for practice.”

His arms are strong when he shuffles into a seated position all while holding your hips above his awaiting cock.

He pauses, a flash of his normal self resurfacing. “You’re on the pill yeah?”

You peck his lips, “yes, now stuff me full.”

That’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s sinking you down onto his length. 

You both let out moans of pleasure at the feeling of being complete. The stretch hurts so bad but hurts so good. He fills you up so well it has you speechless, the air trapped inside your lungs refusing to be released until your walls are comfortable around his impressive girth.

Mumbling a soft curse, you swivel your hips in slow circles, getting used to his large size. Taehyung watches you, hunger written on his face as he licks his lips and examines the way you fit so perfectly on his lap.

You test the waters, holding onto his shoulders for support. You lift your hips and settle back onto his lap. He groans at the wet squelch it makes and slaps your ass, grabbing it in his hand to squeeze it.

You pick up the speed, pumping up and down, whimpering at how well he fills you up. You keep your gaze trained on the image of his dick disappearing in your heat and pulling out with a wet sheen.

Taehyung tucks a finger under your chin, bringing you close to his face to push his soft lips onto yours once again.

It’s weird to say, but you don’t think you can get tired of kissing your best friend. He knows exactly what you want and knows exactly how to make your head spin.

With his large hands of yours, you pick up the pace, slamming your ass onto his hips. You leave his lips, kissing the side of jaw and suckling a few lovebites behind his ear.

His voice is deep and sultry, “fuck yeah, that’s it.” You wail in his hold, pushing yourself to meet his thrusts below. Your thighs burn but the pleasure burns so much hotter.

You feel your second orgasm of the night rising within you and can tell Taehyung is close too. Taehyung assists you, using his thighs to push up into you. Your juices drip down onto his pelvis and both of your breaths get heavier.

His thrusts are fast and rough, creating loud slapping noises that echo around his empty apartment. He grunts, folding his head into the crook of your neck. He’s about to cum and so are you.

With one final gasp your release hits you like a truck. Your thigh shakes in his lap and Taehyung bites at the delicate skin of your neck. His warm seed shoots inside of you, eliciting a small sigh from your lips.

Taehyung releases his hold to lean back onto the couch. He keeps his softening cock inside of you, lazily staring at your fucked out expression.

You play with his rings, “well, how did I do?”

The shit-eating grin is back. “Hmmm, I think you may need more practice.”

[shititbe]

Anyway, Peter Parker is Bi, and I Won’t Be Convinced Otherwise.

Firstly, we have to get our bases covered. What exactly is Bi-sexuality? What is sexuality? 

Sexuality is defined as a persons identity in relation to gender(s) they are attracted to. Why is this important? Peter’s sexuality has never been specifically stated in the comics, nor in any other form of media. It’s assumed that he is straight because of his popular relationship with Mary Jane Watson in the comics, and the movies. 

Now that we have a bases for what exactly sexuality is and how it’s defined, let’s go over Peter’s partners. 

Obviously Peter and Mary Jane are a piece of comic book history. They eventually get married, though sadly, during the events of Civil War II (I think, don’t quote me) Peter and Mary Jane sell their marriage to Mephisto in order to save Aunt May

They later had their memories of their marriage restored, they have yet to get back together and it’s been a few issues if I remember correctly. Next we have Peter’s first, and most unfortunate love, Gwen Stacy. 

They dated in high school where she later died. Of course, Peter has dated other people (namely, Black Cat, Betty Brant, Carol Danvers, Anna Maria, Cindy Moon, Lian Tang, and so on). Since we have his known history of heterosexuality out there, we need to move onto another important part of Peter’s Bi-sexuality. An important implication in any media, especially queer media though, and that is the homoerotic subtext. 

Homoerotic subtext is important part of queer culture, a lot of the time it’s used to portray a characters queerness without saying it out (see: Dorian Gray by Oscar Wild or Great Gatsby By Fitz). In current decade, homoerotic subtext is often used for queer baiting or creating more realistic male friendships. 

So what’s the difference between someone creating a health male friendship (or a character comfortable in their heterosexuality) and implying a character is queer? 

Here are some examples of a healthy male character, both with himself and his friendships.  

Clearly he’s just taking the shit, and messing around with Reed. He’s comfortable enough (or as I like to see it, so traumatized because good god this guy has been Spider-Man since he was 15 good god that’s awful. He probably doesn’t care anymore). Here are some examples of Peter a little more than just a straight man shooting the shit. 

This has three meanings. Two of which I will take, one of which is just deeply embarrassing. Despite Peter’s history with humiliating events, I don’t think he would get his own spunk in his eyes. Leaving the other two options, he has experience getting spunk of - some kind - in his eyes, and/or he’s taking the shit again. Which is very likely. 

Kissing a cop? For....no reason? A little not so hetero of you Peter. 

You can practically hear his disappointment in his voice. Also could be read as taking the shit, but why would you. 

Making out with The Thing? Gay. 

This one is the most important. Peter is clearly tired, annoyed by his teammates (see wolverine being wolverine in the corner). Shits on fire, its mid battle, and Peter has the audacity to mutter “I hate men” to himself. The only people I have every heard say this in that was are lgbt and straight women, and lgbt men. This kind of expression only comes from people who date, or deal with men in a completely different world than straight men. Straight men use this phrase as an endearment, “Oh have you seen Bill today, I hate that guy.” “Man Jerry can do so many push-ups, I hate that guy.” Very different language, and implications (I also, obviously don’t know how straight men speak). 

 Now that we’ve gone over our bases, and homoerotic subtext. How else could we gather that Peter Parker is Bi? There are many tropes in media - queer media - that allure to a characters queerness. Like homoerotic subtext, there are ways to tell an audience something without specifically saying it. 

This is a gay wedding Peter went to in the recent comics. I don’t know if any of you have been to a gay wedding recently, but Peters face (the first panel above the wedding) is the same exact face I made at my first gay wedding. It’s the face of excitement for not only the couple, but for yourself. The hope that maybe, you too can actually be in a same-sex relationship. 

I’m also going to allure to queer tropes as stated previously. Such as the real, and fictional trope of lgbt people sticking together. Thousands of years of belittlement and oppression will make groups of people not want to wonder out, and subconsciously look for others like them. 

Johnny Storm (and Wade Wilson since he comes in later but I couldn’t find a picture of the confirmation) is cannon Bi-sexual (Pan-sexual). 

Their friendship is deeply homoerotic as most queer friendships in media and real life are. Johnny flirts with Peter on many occasions (saying his ideal women is a female version of Peter, inviting him over to watch is sex tape, and so on) and of course oh my god they were roommates. 

Some other popular queer tropes are: Found Family, Soulmates, and Enemies to lovers. Because it’s superhero related, this includes the Identity Porn tag as well.  

Peter Parker and Wade Wilson have a famous Love/Hate relationship. I mean, how could you expect anything less when your first meeting with this known mercenary is him throwing your civilian persona out the window of a car. Now, Wade still doesn’t know Peter is Spider-Man in the current run of comics, but that doesn’t make anything about them any less gay. 

For the Found Family Trope: 

Because it’s Peter and Wade, their whole development can be read as Enemies to Friends to Lovers, so I wont bother backing that up because, uh, it speaks for itself. One panel really does to add that cause though 

I’m not going to explain what a free-pass list is.

The Soulmates part I know I have to back up. 

For SoulMates:  

Now this panel requires a little explanation. Wade kills Peter, not knowing he’s Spider-Man. Weasel takes over for Peter (they don’t know its him) so no one suspects he’s dead. Deadpool begins to feel guilty he killed his best buds best bud, so he tries to bring Peter back to life. Losing his stunning good looks (switching back to how he looked before Weapon X making his wife Shiklah estranged (then she married Dracula but thats beside the point)). Spider-Man is Peter’s “true self” or patronus for Harry Potter fans. Wade is stupid and hasn’t connected the dots yet, effectively making him the biggest simp in history. Seriously, who destroys their marriage for the c h a n c e for getting some with their idol? A Simp, that’s who.

Peter forgives Wade for killing him (and for saving him from killing their genetic daughter itsy-bitsy). If someone killed me they better be hot as fuck before I even thing about forgiving them. Ignoring Peter’s super sexy forgiving nature, uh, he’s kinda simping. 

Died in each others arms. Nothing else is needed. 

They’re heartmates. From what I read, the feeling has to be mutual in order for it to work. The witches (long story, comics are hard to explain) that captured deadpool were expecting his wife so they could get the headmistress back. Instead, they got Peter. Basically Heartmates = soulmates but chosen for you instead of chosen by you. 

To conclude my point: 

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. 

[saintshigaraki]

won’t you give me your cruelest smile

↳ DARK ACADEMIA TSUKISHIMA KEI 

pairing: tsukishima kei x gn!reader

word count: 1.4k

excerpt: 

He makes no move to get up as he watches you pack. “You really don’t like me, do you?” He sounds far too pleased for your liking.

“No one likes you,” you snap back, stuffing the last heavy tome in your bag and shouldering it. “You’re an ass.”

a/n: @yamagucji​​ said dark academia tsukki and my brain quite literally short circuited 

tags: enemies-ish to lovers (more like academic rivals to lovers), tsukki being an annoyingly smart condescending history major, reader goes through the five stages of grief when they realize they might actually li- 🤢 like him, a reference to the classic ‘ooooh you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid’ 

If there is a single, minuscule, barely visible silver lining in having Tsukishima as a partner for your quarter project it is that, without a doubt, he is smart. 

You have to admit, begrudgingly, that his intellect borders on genius-level which is something you use as silent proof to attest to your working theory that there is in fact, no god, or at the very least not a kind one, because if there was they wouldn’t be blessing gremlins like the one sitting across from you with a gift like that. 

He’s quiet now (after about an hour of telling you all the ways your interpretation was oh so very wrong) and content to stare at you lazily, his eyes half-lidded and filled with his specific brand of cruel amusement that leaves you wanting to do nothing more than smack his black-rimmed glasses right off his smug face. 

You take a deep breath and try desperately to quell the utterly unique type of rage he elicits in you, although as always, nothing you do ever quite manages to bring your boiling blood to a simmer. 

He’s twirling his expensive black pen between his stupidly long fingers. Every once in a while the light catches on the onyx stone of his pinky ring which somehow manages to flash directly in your eyes every time. He notices, of course. He notices everything. Which makes you think he’s doing it on purpose just to be an ass.

Which, admittedly, is perfectly in line with everything else he does so, you come to the frustrating conclusion that he most definitely is doing it on purpose. 

“You’re embarrassingly easy to rile up,” he says, interrupting your silent seething, his voice deep and smooth and absolutely dripping with condescending satisfaction. 

Your eyes flash up from the book you’d been only barely processing just to be met with his own golden-brown ones. He’s smirking down at you, of course. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him wear any other sort of expression. 

You want nothing more than to glare at him but that would just be proving his point so instead, you snap your book shut. It rings out loudly in the empty library. 

“It’s late. Let’s start this backup tomorrow.”

He makes no move to get up as he watches you pack. “You really don’t like me, do you?” he sounds far too pleased for your liking. 

“No one likes you,” you snap back, stuffing the last heavy tome in your bag and shouldering it. “You’re an ass.” 

He tilts his head back, exposing his long neck, and laughs. It’s so deep you feel it in your own chest. You just barely manage to suppress a shiver, which thank fuck, because he would’ve most definitely noticed it and you don’t think you’d be able to live that down. 

You make your way towards the front doors but not before he manages to slip on his wool coat and catch up to you, with ease of course, his long legs have become your number one enemy over the quarter because he always, always, catches up with you when you try to speed walk away from him. 

The autumn chill immediately settles into your bones, your skin prickles unpleasantly. You can see your breath in the night air. A shitty end to a shit day. 

You both head down the cobbled street in strangely comfortable silence. He’s close enough that you can feel the heat he radiates and you’re silently thankful for it. 

You get to the fork in the path where he takes his way back to his dorm and you take yours but instead of peeling off left like he usually does he sticks to your side. 

You stop immediately and eye him up warily. “What are you doing?”

He rolls his eyes. “Asking idiotic questions doesn’t really suit you, you know.” 

You say nothing, content to narrow your eyes. 

He rolls his eyes again and lets out a long-suffering sigh. “I’m walking you home, try not to be a brat about it.” 

“You never walk me home,” you point out, suspiciously. 

“You are rather good at pointing out the very obvious, aren’t you?” and before you can respond he already had turned on his heels and started walking. You have to half jog to catch up. 

You watch him out of the corner of your eye with the intent of trying to read his motive but you get stuck on the fact that his cheeks are flushed rather prettily from the cold. 

“You sure do love to stare, don’t you?” he asks rather conversationally. 

You’ve never wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole more in your entire life. Your cheeks burn hot even in the frigid cold. 

He notices. Of course he does. What does Tsukishima Kei not notice?

“No need to be embarrassed,” he needles cruelly. “Denial can be a brutal beast.”

You only barely manage to stop yourself from asking what exactly he means by that, what exactly he thinks you’re in denial about. 

But you know he wants nothing more than for you to ask so you take a sweet sort of satisfaction in not questioning him further, at least on that front. 

The rest of the walk back to your dorm is spent in less comfortable silence than before. There’s an odd sort of tension in the air, like a rope pulled so tight you can physically feel it starting to fray, getting ready to snap.

It comes to a head when, after getting to your building, instead of immediately going inside you find yourself looking down and shuffling your feet.

You know you should thank him, even if you didn’t ask him to walk you home. You guys never worked this late, you’d lost track of time (it’s scarily easy to lose track of time when arguing with Tsukishima) and you know it was nice of him to walk you home when he’d have to double back another 15 minutes in the freezing cold to get to his place. 

You know you should thank him. It’s the reasonable, polite thing to do. But it’s just so fucking hard to be reasonable and polite when Tsukishima Kei and his galaxy-sized ego are involved. No one in your entire life has been able to get under your skin as he has. It’s like he was perfectly crafted to be your own personal headache. 

You brave a glance up at him and find that he’s standing very, very close and staring, rather intensely, at you. A curiously amused gleam in his eye. 

Your mind stutters and then stops completely, going painfully blank. 

He’s so stupidly pretty. 

His skin is flawless, you’ve never once seen him with even a single pimple, his hair is the nicest pale-blond you’ve ever seen and it falls in perfect tufts against his forehead, but it’s his eyes that always make you shift from foot to foot. They’re such a unique shade of golden-brown, and now, shrouded in the dark and mere inches away from your own face, you’d swear on your life they were practically glowing.

“You’ve got something on your mind?” he asks, his tone anything but sweet. He’s so close you can smell the warm spice of his cologne and the ever-clinging scent of ancient books that seems to follow him wherever he goes. 

“I-” but you can’t seem to put together a coherent sentence. You don’t think you’ve ever hated someone so much in your life. 

Somehow, he’s managed to push in even closer. “You know what I think?”

No, you want to say, and I don’t want to know. Your heart is beating far too fast and you can’t explain why. 

(You know exactly why)

“I think you want to kiss me.”

And just like that the rope snaps and you’re viciously tugging him down by the collar of his too-nice coat so you can smash your lips against his. 

The kiss is brutal. Far too mean with too much teeth. At one point you taste the sting of iron and you can’t tell if the blood is his or yours. 

He backs you up against a wall without breaking the kiss. When he bites at your lip, no doubt cutting it open, you grab a fist full of his hair and tug cruelly and his responding groan tastes so sweet on your tongue. 

He doesn’t pull away until your lungs are screaming for air. 

He’s inches away from you, pupils blown wide, lips swollen (and a little bloody), and his hair is a mess. It’s the most out of sorts you’ve ever seen him. 

If you thought he was pretty before, he’s absolutely beautiful now. 

His smirk widens into a full blown smile and you understand now why he doesn’t show it often. It shows too many teeth, it’s downright wolfish. Predatory, even. 

You don’t really have time to think on it though before he pulls you into another bruising kiss. 

have some dark academia tsukishima headcanons while you’re here

he is without a doubt the most pretentious asshole you will ever meet and and you will HATE yourself for eventually finding him weirdly charming in any capacity

he is, of course, a history major which. if you have ever met pretentious male history majors you will know that this means he is a literal walking, talking, annoyingly tall headache

interrupts professors constantly. does it like he’s getting paid. will argue and argue and argue with them without that dumb condescending smirk ever, ever managing to slip off his face

(the worst part is, he’s honestly probably making a good point most of the time. but you’d quite literally rather die than admit that to him)

he is always walking around campus lazily flipping through leather bound books so old they’re cracked precariously at their spines, all on different ancient civilizations. you’d think that’d mean he’d be running into people but the student body collectively parts like the red sea for him which sets your teeth on edge.

he’s unbelievably arrogant and the worst part is its not baseless like you find yourself so desperately wishing it was

he IS smart, wickedly so. disgustingly, cruelly intelligent and he will use it to pick you apart piece by piece while that stupid fucking smirk stays glued on his face.

(you start to seriously question whether or not he’s even human because how can anyone keep the same, perfectly calculated expression for that long?)

always looks like he stepped straight out of some dark alternate universe vogue photoshoot with his constant rotation of black turtlenecks, long coats, and oxford loafers all tied together by the same 5 rings he’s never seen without, two of which are set with hefty onyx stones

you will be unlucky enough to be paired up with him for a project that will take all quarter long and multiple meet ups a week. when your professor announced your partner, you genuinely consider dropping the class and when you find out you wouldn’t be able to drop the class without switching majors, you genuinely consider switching majors

you don’t. and by the end of the quarter you’re really starting to question whether that was a good thing or not

[beca-mitchell]

little taste of heaven (i'm caught up in you) (1/1)

Summary: now i see daylight AU - Beca and Chloe’s first date, finally. 

Word count: 3.9k

For @anna-kendrick​: We've worked on this universe for the past year and holy, it means the world to both of us that you guys love Beca and Chloe as much as we do. Thank you so much for the encouragement and love, always.And of course, again, thank you to Josi who is an incredibly talented artist. Look at this art.

title from "untouchable (taylor's version)" though I did heavily consider using "our song"...i just liked the energy of untouchable a bit more.

Read below or on AO3!

* * * * *

AGE: 15/16 LOCATION: Brookline, MA MONTH: June

 * * * * *

 It is finally June. The warm air is only a hint of better things to come. Like the last day of school before total freedom.

Beca smiles at Chloe as she nears Beca’s locker. “Hey,” she greets. “Good practice?”

Around them, students mill about excitedly, cleaning out their lockers and making plans for the summer to come. Chloe shrugs, hair clearly still damp from her shower. “I don’t know why we keep running through practices when we have no more games for the season.”

“Got to keep the regional champions in top shape,” Beca teases. “Keep the other teams on their toes.”

“But I’m tired,” Chloe complains. She leans heavily on a neighboring locker. “Since it's the last day of school, will you come over tonight for dinner? My parents are whining about how they haven’t seen you in a while.”

Beca clears her throat, thinking about how the last time she had gone over to Chloe’s house had been when Chloe and Tom broke up...at the end of April. Over a month ago. She had gone because Chloe had been crying and upset. She had gone because even if her body ached with the anxiety of not knowing where she and Chloe stood, she and Chloe were always going to be friends first. Best friends.

Best friends who felt something more than friendship for each other. Confirmed, real feelings. Feelings that made them want to kiss each other.

Feelings that they hadn’t yet talked about. Or acted on despite both of them being extremely single at the moment.

Hell, Chloe's birthday came and went a couple weeks ago without much fanfare. Beca had been too shy to do anything remotely romantic and they ended up going to a movie with a few friends before going to an arcade.

“Bec?”

Beca nods stiltedly, pretending to contemplate her now-empty locker a bit more before turning to face Chloe. She steadies herself with a quick breath. “I’d love nothing more.”

 * * * * *

 Beca stares at her reflection with some trepidation.

“It’s just Chloe,” she mutters to herself, eyes tracking over every crease in the skirt she has picked out. Maybe I should go with jeans, she thinks. But it’s gross and hot out today.

She isn’t even sure why she’s nervous. It just feels like a return to normalcy of sorts, but Beca’s pretty sure that now that she knows what it feels like to kiss Chloe and what it feels like, a little bit at least, to know that Chloe feels somewhat similarly to her. It’s different. In a good way. Maybe it’s different in a scary way.

She isn’t even sure she can bring up the topic with her mother, so that’s an added layer of uncertainty: it’s additionally anxiety-inducing not knowing how her mother will react.

It’s well past the time that Beca should have already walked out the door to head next door by the time she actually forces herself out of her bedroom and down the stairs, but she figures Chloe will understand. And dinner is rarely ever prepared at the exact time stated in the Beale household anyway. Beca’s not too worried. Just nervous.

She finally reaches out to press the doorbell.

Chloe opens the door almost immediately. “Thought you got lost,” she teases.

“Were you just waiting behind the door?” Beca asks quickly, allowing Chloe to grab her wrist and pull her over the threshold.

“And if I was?” Chloe shoots back, offering Beca a lazy smile, playful in nature. With an underlying hint of something else.

Beca blinks the surprise away. “I wouldn’t be complaining if you were waiting for me. Just sorry I kept you waiting,” she offers.

“Dinner’s not ready anyway,” Chloe says, as Beca expected. They breeze past the living room area, taking a mild detour past the kitchen and towards the back porch. “I might have told you a slightly earlier time because I wanted to talk to you about something,” Chloe says lightly.

“Should I say hi to your parents?” Beca asks worriedly before it registers what Chloe just said. “Wait, what? Talk to me about what?”

“Come sit with me,” Chloe says instead. Patiently. She gestures towards the tree - the tree they used to play under all the time as children - nestled in the corner of the backyard.

It’s one of Beca’s favorite spots.

She follows Chloe, wondering if it’s too late to run home and change into her jeans because she’s sure the grass and sticks will prick at her skin, but she’s surprised, as they near, that there is a small blanket laid out underneath.

Chloe had planned for this.

“Please sit,” Chloe offers. She sits comfortably, patting the spot next to her. “I had a feeling you’d dress up a little. Didn’t want you to get a dress dirty.” Her eyes drift down to Beca’s skirt briefly before she lifts her eyes, smiling at Beca. Beca doesn’t feel self-conscious, shockingly. She feels content. Safe.

Maybe a little warm if anything, but she knows that’s probably the proximity to the girl she’s been crushing on for the longest time.

“I...wanted to talk to you because we haven’t...really talked. About...y’know.” A hint of nervousness creeps into Chloe’s voice. “When we kissed and then Tom…” she hesitates. “We just didn’t get to talk about anything. And now the school year’s pretty much over, so I thought…”

“Right,” Beca agrees quickly. Her palms begin to sweat. She sure as hell hopes Chloe doesn’t expect her to lead this conversation. It was mortifying enough the first time around when she had basically laid everything on the line while Chloe was still dating somebody else. When Chloe had left her with nothing more than a heartfelt, vulnerable don’t give up on me. Then she had broken up with Tom and that was all their school could talk about for weeks.

And now this. Somehow Beca survived all of that while slowly making sure her friendship with Chloe survived as well. They both made sure of that.

“I like you,” Chloe declares. “I mean...I think I always did. Like you, I mean. As more than a friend. But the feelings were really confusing.”

“I get it,” Beca says a little too quickly. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs, laughing a little when Chloe smiles at her. “I feel like I haven’t stopped thinking about this for a while. But I never wanted you to feel pressured to talk about this with me even though we kissed.” She ignores the way her voice totally cracks over that last word.

“I never felt pressured,” Chloe assures her gently. “I am so...grateful that you’re in my life. I didn’t want to mess this up. But I think we should...try.”

“Try?” Beca echoes.

Chloe blushes. Like a full-on blush that spreads across her cheeks, visible to Beca even in the dying daylight. It makes her cheeks rosy and Chloe even flinches at her own reaction. “Dating,” she says simply once she seems to regain control of her emotions. “I want to go on dates with you. And hold your hand. And more kissing! If that’s what you want.”

Beca’s sure that her heart explodes somewhere in her chest because she suddenly finds it very difficult to control various parts of her body. She can’t control the smile that spreads across her face and the following, matching blush in her cheeks. It heats through her face with ease. And even worse, she can’t control the way her hand comes up to her mouth as if to instinctively cover her smile because somehow being thrilled that her crush is basically asking her out making her body react in embarrassing ways.

Chloe laughs at her, not a hint of malice in her laugh. Just joy. “I take that as a yes. Thank God, I wasn’t sure how I was going to convince my parents to move away.”

Beca rolls her eyes. Finally. Teasing. She can do that. “You wouldn’t be able to leave me. You like me too much.”

Chloe’s smile grows soft. “Well...yeah. I do. A lot.”

Beca’s breath catches. She’s sure she could kiss Chloe right now and the crazy part is, it wouldn’t even be totally weird. Or out there. Because they’re going to start dating. But maybe kissing Chloe again before their first date is frowned upon? Beca has no idea. She’s still only ever kissed one person and that person is sitting in front of her.

“Girls! Dinner!”

As if Chloe had been reading her mind and her intentions, Chloe shakes her head and stands, offering a hand to pull Beca up. When Beca stands, they’re somehow even closer - almost nose to nose - than they had been when they were sitting. “Saved by the bell,” Chloe whispers, breath close enough to be felt on Beca’s mouth.

 * * * * *

 The most interesting part is that Beca hadn’t really thought about any of this - dating Chloe - beyond just vague daydreams and fantasies about just some kind of happy utopia with Chloe by her side. It’s honestly not much different from their usual day-to-day considering how close they already are, but dating? Actual dating?

Her Google search history stares back at her accusingly.

dating tips dating best friend first date first date movies dating girl what to do

She supposes she could ask her mother, but even that brief thought makes her shrink away from her desk. Beca stands and begins pacing. She’s sure that she’s overthinking this all. That Chloe could probably care less about what they do on their first date. That Chloe’s probably just expecting them to spend time together, just the two of them. With more handholding. And maybe a kiss at the end of the night.

“Shit,” Beca mutters suddenly. She rushes back to her computer, adding another search to her list.

kiss on first date ok???

She frowns. Not quite.

kissing before first date acceptable

In the end, she is saved from her descent into a hole of online searching by a text from Chloe herself.

Chloe dinner tomorrow at south street? haven’t been downtown in a while

Beca i’m down!

The ease at which Beca replies does not at all reflect the somersaults in her stomach.

 * * * * *

 “Hey,” Chloe calls, putting her menu down. “Where’d you go just now?”

Beca blinks, realizing that she had glazed over the menu entirely, too wrapped up in her own thoughts. “Oh, just...contemplating…” her eyes land on the first item she sees. “Salad.” She can’t help the way her own nose wrinkles instinctively at the thought of eating salad.

Chloe is as intuitive as ever, smiling as she reaches across the table to touch Beca’s hand. “You hate salad. Especially here.”

Beca swallows, struck by both the normalcy and intimacy of Chloe’s touch. They’ve been friends for years—there is nothing extremely off-putting about them holding hands or even just randomly touching each other on the arm, shoulder, knee.

And yet—

Chloe draws her hand away, seemingly not at all aware of Beca’s inner turmoil this time. She refocuses on her menu. “Want me to order something for you?” she asks instead.

Beca nods, though she is surprised. “Sure.” Now she’s curious as to what Chloe will order for her. And if she’s being honest, it kind of makes her feel giddy, the thought of Chloe knowing her well-enough to order something. Not that Beca would even bother with telling Chloe that she’s wrong. She’d eat anything at this point, just to spend more time with Chloe.

It’s not even like they’re at a fancy restaurant. It’s a diner downtown. The bright retro designs all around plus the comfortable, plush booth seats are all appealing to Beca and she likes the general atmosphere.

But she kind of wants to just…

“Can I sit next to you?” she blurts out. Immediately, she clamps her mouth shut, resisting the urge to avoid Chloe’s curious gaze, which lifts to meet hers immediately.

Chloe grins. “I would want nothing more. Get over here.”

Beca nearly sags in relief, but focuses instead on moving around the booth so she and Chloe are sitting closer, now on side of the booth.

Beca focuses on the frequent piece of advice she had found through a few somewhat reliable Google results.

Hold her hand.

Beca does. She inches her pinky across the cool vinyl seats until she can feel Chloe’s against her finger. Then, she slips her hand over Chloe’s, gently hooking her fingers on Chloe’s palm until Chloe gets the idea.

Chloe’s hand flips slowly, their palms touching. Beca exhales, sliding her fingers between Chloe’s, already liking the easy, comfortable fit of their hands.

Chloe says nothing, content to enjoy the silence and familiarity just as Beca is content to allow her feelings to take over. For a moment, Chloe appears to be perusing the menu in silence, but there is a steadiness to the set of Chloe’s shoulders. Beca can tell, having been so attuned to Chloe’s characteristics for longer than she’d like to admit. For longer than even Chloe herself knows at this moment. She glances at her date—her date!—selfishly taking the moment to appreciate Chloe’s profile.

It’s something she has done so many times before, but this time...this time, in a diner outside of town with the soft clatter of dishes around them and Chloe’s soft, warm palm against her own, Beca knows this is different.

“You know,” Chloe starts awkwardly. “I...obviously don’t mind if you ordered on your own.”

Beca laughs. “Why’d you offer to then?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe says, exasperation in her voice. She groans and hangs her head slightly. “I asked Max and-”

“You asked your brother what to do on a date with me?”

“No!” Chloe explains before she snorts. “I just...told him I was worried about impressing a girl. And I don’t know why, but I somehow thought he’d have some idea.” She grins a little, glancing at Beca out of the corner of her eye. “Did it work?”

“Maybe a little,” Beca says distractedly. She’s more fixated on the fact that Chloe must have been truly desperate to have turned to her older brother for help.

“Oh and he totally guessed I was going out with you, by the way.”

That’s not something that thrills Beca too much. Her imagination immediately conjures up a comically exaggerated vision of Chloe’s brother threatening her with a knife. “How?” she asks. “What did he say?”

“Nothing, really. He just kind of guessed and then said ‘finally’ or something like that.”

“Well, thank you for offering to order for me. It was very...chivalrous of you.”

“Please stop.”

“Quite charming.”

“Beca.”

“I can’t wait to see what other moves you try on me. Are we going to share one milkshake?”

“...no?”

 * * * * *

 They end up ordering two separate milkshakes because Beca sticks to her vanilla and Chloe orders chocolate.

“Try,” Chloe commands. “You always get vanilla. Chocolate is so good.”

Beca sighs, but obediently sticks her straw into Chloe’s cup despite Chloe’s protests of “contamination” and quickly takes a sip just to shut Chloe up for the time being. It’s not horrible - Beca just isn’t the fan of how chocolate tastes in milkshake form, though she’s sure Chloe will claim there’s no difference if the milkshake were in a solid chocolate bar form instead.

However, she’s mildly distracted by the sudden proximity she and Chloe have between them. Chloe’s arm rests loosely over her shoulder, where she had put her arm when Beca leaned in to drink from Chloe’s cup. She can practically feel Chloe’s breath on her neck and her cheek.

It would be so easy to just turn and -

Beca shakes her head slightly and shifts back. Chloe takes a moment longer to slowly move her arm from around Beca’s shoulders.

“What?” Beca asks quietly, poking at her fries a little. She catches Chloe smiling at her affectionately.

“Nothing,” Chloe replies quickly. “Just...you smell nice. That’s all.”

 * * * * *

 “I guess it’s kind of convenient that we live together,” Beca remarks, trying not to think too hard about the way Chloe’s hand feels in her own. She winces. “Well. Not live together. But…you know. Live next to each other.”

Chloe tilts her head, smiling as they walk up the path towards their houses. “And why is that convenient?” she asks lightly.

Beca blushes. She hadn’t thought this far. “I’m…I don’t know. I was just…commenting. On the convenience.”

Chloe giggles, pulling Beca closer ever so slightly. Beca likes the way their arms press together. She likes holding Chloe’s hand. She likes lifting her other hand to curl against the bend of Chloe’s elbow.

She likes knowing that Chloe likes her—really likes her—and Chloe enjoyed their date and—and—

“This is you,” Chloe murmurs, stopping in front of Beca’s door.

Beca kind of doesn’t want the night to end. She wants to sit on the porch and talk to Chloe for a few more minutes. Maybe one more hour. Just to hear the sound of her voice and have her attention for a few moments longer.

“This is me,” Beca parrots, feeling a lot more nervous than she thinks she’s letting on. That was what people said in those movies adorning Chloe’s shelves, right? It was what the internet said. Normal first date cliches. She steps backwards, under the light of her front porch, still holding Chloe’s hand as she does so. Chloe hesitates for a moment like she wants to follow, but ultimately she simply squeezes Beca’s hand in understanding and drops her own hand away.

Beca is immediately disappointed. She hadn’t wanted that at all. She bites her lip, watching as Chloe awkwardly shuffles her feet before she glances back up at Beca. A soft, slow smile spreads across Chloe’s lips, gentle and affectionate all at once. It makes Beca’s heart pound ridiculously hard.

“I had fun,” Chloe whispers, like she’s afraid somebody else will hear her. But not because she's afraid of other people. Just afraid that their bubble will burst, like Beca is. Another step closer. Beca swallows. “Can we do that again?”

“You’d want to go on more dates?” Beca asks, just to clarify, even though she knows exactly what Chloe’s asking.

“I would love to go on more dates with you.”

“Me too,” Beca squeaks out. “I—um—”

Chloe’s smile stretches, somehow happier than before. “Goodnight Beca.”

Something in Beca snaps. She steps forward, just two small steps and calls out Chloe’s name. “Wait,” she adds hastily.

Chloe stops and turns, surprised.

“Can I—” Beca swallows, licking her suddenly dry lips. “Can I kis—”

She doesn’t get to finish her question before Chloe is covering the ground between them in two short strides, wrapping her hand around the back of Beca’s head, letting the other come up to Beca’s arm, and kissing her for all her worth.

Beca gasps in surprise into the kiss, hands coming up to Chloe’s shoulders, squeezing tightly. Gently and slowly, Chloe presses further into the kiss, her lips moving ever so lightly against Beca’s. It is so much more than their first kiss—a do-over, if anything—and Beca realizes, with a jolt, that this is something she can do now. She can kiss Chloe because Chloe likes her and Chloe went on a date with her. Chloe held her hand all night.

Chloe wants to kiss her too.

Beca hums happily at the thought, looping her hands behind Chloe’s neck. It feels instinctual even as Beca blushes at the sudden intensity of the kiss. She knows Chloe has kissed more people than she has; she knows Chloe will forever have more experience in this regard. But God, Beca thinks that she has never felt more wonderful or powerful than she does in this moment, tightening her grip on the fabric of Chloe’s light jacket.

Pulling back ever so slightly, Beca heaves a breath and rests her forehead against Chloe’s forehead. Chloe’s breathing is the tiniest bit labored as well. For a moment, neither of them dares to move, too afraid to break the spell between them.

Chloe is the first to smile—the first to press forward ever so slightly so their noses brush delicately. “What were you going to ask?” Chloe murmurs.

Beca swats her shoulder lightly. “You’re so weird,” she mumbles back, leaning in to steal just one more kiss from her beautiful, wonderful date.

 * * * * *

 When Beca reaches the solitude of her bedroom, she finally gets what all those high school romcoms were about. Showing their protagonist thrilled to finally finish a date so they can squeal and giggle and simply dream about their crush or date. It’s probably the first time that Beca has felt her energy rebound around her room with such happiness and positivity. The sensation is addicting—she honestly just wants to text Chloe all night.

Which, honestly, she could.

Chloe kissed her. Chloe kissed her because she likes her and they just went on a date. A freaking date.

A text from Chloe jolts her back to reality.

Chloe i miss you, is that weird?

Beca no because i miss you too. weirdo.

Chloe i have something else to tell you. that might be weird. Idk

Beca go for it.

Beca watches the text bubbles float in and out on her screen, like Chloe is typing a paragraph. Despite Chloe just saying that she missed her, Beca can’t help but feel nervous.

Chloe I just wanted you to know why i picked south street. it’s because. well. Remember when we first went there by ourselves without our parents. Sometime last year. With a few friends. And we all squeezed into that booth and sat there and shared fries and milkshakes and felt like we were at the top of the world because we were finally in high school or something stupid like that. I don’t even remember much about that night or who we were with but i do remember seeing the way you laughed at something and how your entire face lit up. and i remember thinking that i really liked you and how scary it was that i felt these things for you so suddenly and so much. Like a lot. but i’m so glad that we both got to this point - that we both feel the same way. I just really loved the way you looked when you laughed and i am so happy you’re in my life.

Chloe also i really like kissing you

Beca doesn’t even bother replying.

She shoves on her shoes again and rushes out the front door. She is only surprised to see Chloe sitting on her own front porch, staring worriedly at her phone.

“You really are so weird, y'know that?” She calls out, careful not to startle Chloe too much.

Chloe does jump anyway, but she sets her phone down quickly. “What are you doing?”

“Finishing this date off again that you confessed your big scary feelings. Through a text message.” Beca pretends to be annoyed as she stomps over to Chloe. “You couldn’t have said all that?”

“You make me nervous!” Chloe exclaims.

Beca shakes her head, mustering up all the courage she has in the world, pulling Chloe in for a kiss like she wanted to earlier before Chloe beat her to it.

“So much better,” Beca whispers, smiling when Chloe huffs quietly against her mouth.

It's the perfect end to the beginning Beca has been dreaming of all this time.

fin.

[the-scandalorian]

Tempered Glass: Chapter 7

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Reader Rating: M (will become explicit) Word Count: 5.5k Warnings: slow burn, canon-typical violence, cursing, pining, Din in suspenders, fluff Summary: Din takes a job with his old crew, and you and the kid wait for him on Arvala-7. Notes: Sorry this took me forever!

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Image from The Art of Star Wars: The Mandalorian

After you left the atmosphere of Tatooine and jumped into hyperspace, Din swiveled his chair around to face you in the copilot’s seat.

“I should take a job. Everything we made went to Peli, and I don’t like being low on credits. There’s a crew I used to run with...I can reach out to them...” he hesitated then added, “but you and the kid can’t come with me.”

“What do you mean I can’t come with you?”

He sighed, shoulders dropping. “I mean, I don’t trust them enough for you and the kid to come.”

“If you don’t trust them, wouldn’t it be better to have backup?”

“I just—,” he looked away, “I don’t want them to know either of you exist.”

“If you don’t trust them, should you be taking a job with them?”

“We don’t have a lot of options.”

“I could get work somewhere. We could go somewhere safe enough for a few weeks. There are some places where I have contacts, and non-bounty hunting work is usually less conspicuous.”

“I don’t think we should stay anywhere that long right now.”

“But—”

“I’ll feel better if you and the kid are safe together.”

“I—”

When he bowed his head in a silent appeal, your determination crumbled.

“Ugh, fine.”

He sighed in relief, reaching out to rest his hand on your knee briefly. His touch was reassuring.

“But, just so you know, this is only going to work once, so don’t think that my staying back with the kid is going to be a regular thing.”

He removed his hand and turned back around to face the viewport.

“I am taking your silence as tacit agreement,” you said to the back of his helmet.

He chose to ignore that, fiddling with the controls instead.

***

Now that you’d both admitted you wanted to stay together, abandoning the pretense of strategy and convenience all together, things were a little off between you and Din. Neither of you were used to being vulnerable, so conversations were slightly stunted again. You found yourself being overly polite, and Din was doing the same.

That first night back on the Crest, he offered you his bunk.

“I’m not taking your bed. You need it to take off your helmet.”

Besides the unshakable lingering chill of the hull, sleeping there wasn’t that bad. You usually slept with every sweater you owned on and that kept you warm enough.

“Use it when I’m not. You shouldn't have to sleep on the floor.”

“Sure, thanks,” you agreed, knowing you’d never take him up on that. You didn’t want to be on a different sleep schedule than he and the kid.

You did try to nap with the kid in Din’s bunk the next day because there wasn’t all that much to do in hyperspace. As soon as you lay down, though, you knew it was a mistake. First of all, it was crazy uncomfortable (somehow not better than the literal floor and the close walls made it slightly claustrophobic), and second—and far more importantly—it smelled overwhelmingly like Din. It smelled like his pine-y soap and beskar and blaster residue and leather and whatever else made up his infuriatingly good scent. It conjured images of crackling fires and golden skin and warm embraces and taut muscles.

Shit.

There was no chance you were going to be able to fall sleep when all you could think about was him.

The kid, on the other hand, was snoozing contentedly beside you. When you’d fully given up on napping, you edged your way out the bunk carefully, doing your best not to wake him.

Din was sitting in the hull on a long crate against the wall, cleaning his blaster, the pieces spread out next to him. Usually, when you were in the hull at the same time, you’d find a place across from him. Instead, you purposefully sat next to him, drawing your knees up to your chest and leaning against the wall.

You decided you were going to push through this awkward phase and make things not weird right there, right then. And you were going to do that the best way you knew how.

He tilted his helmet toward you momentarily then refocused on the blaster in his hand.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes,” he said, running a rag along the barrel.

“How does one develop a catchphrase? Does it happen organically or is there an iterative brainstorming process?”

Din paused, sighing dramatically, set his blaster and the rag down next to him, and pushed himself back until he was also leaning against the metal wall. His helmet clunked slightly as he relaxed it back. “This is the way is not a catchphrase. It’s a tenet of the Creed.”

“And ‘I can bring you in warm or I can bring you in cold’ is also a tenet of the Creed?”

He lolled his helmet to the side, looking down at you. “Okay, fine, that one isn’t,” he conceded.

“So you admit it—you have at least one catchphrase that you regularly use on bounties.” You smirked up at him.

Without missing a beat, Din fixed you with that unreadable visor and quipped: “I’ve been told I have a sexy voice. I’m just giving the people what they want.”

Your jaw dropped, a shocked laugh echoing through the hull. You had planned on teasing him and had not expected him to turn it around on you so smoothly.

“Uh... I was sort of hoping we’d stick to our unspoken agreement to not bring up the stupid things I said when I was drunk.” You looked down at your hands, suddenly unable to meet his gaze.

“Oh, definitely not.”

You looked back up. “Alright, well then in the name of fairness, we’re going to have to get you really drunk the next time the opportunity presents itself, so we can see what embarrassing things you say.”

He paused for a moment, considering, then said, “Does that mean you’ll carry me home?”

You cracked a smile, nodding vigorously. “Of course. That would only be fair.”

A warm laugh rasped through the modulator. You crossed your ankles in front of you, letting your knee rest against the cold beskar on this thigh.

“I feel skeptical of that promise.” He dropped a gloved hand to your knee.

“Okay, okay I can’t promise to carry you home, but I can promise to tie your shoe if needed.”

“My boots don’t have laces.” He lifted a foot off the ground to show you.

You shrugged playfully: “Well, that’s not my fault.”

“This doesn’t sound like a very good deal for me. I tied your shoe and carried you home.”

“To be fair, both were against my will.”

“But necessary.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Okay, okay, I can’t carry you, and I can’t tie your shoe... so I’ll...,” you bit your lip as you fished around for something else to offer, “...hold your hand? And not let anyone tickle you.”

He huffed and rubbed his thumb over your knee: “I’m not ticklish.”

You pursed your lips. “Right, sure, of course not. My mistake.”

He harrumphed. “Can I ask you something now?”

“I’ll allow it,” you intoned seriously.

“Where are you actually from?”

“Naboo. Most of my back story was true—I just left out the one major detail.”

“Your favorite color?” he deadpanned.

You laughed. “Yes, exactly. What about you? Where are you from?”

“Aq Vetina.”

You waited, hoping he’d elaborate.

“When my parents died there, I was rescued by the Mandalorians and raised in the Fighting Corps.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, placing your hand over his and squeezing gently. “That sounds like a tough life for a child.”

“It was all I knew,” he explained, shifting slightly.

“Still, that can’t have been easy. It makes sense that you couldn’t leave the kid.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, solemnly. There was a tension in his shoulders that hadn’t been there moments ago.

“Less serious question,” you replied, changing the subject to something lighter.

“Okay.” He relaxed a little.

“Why don’t you ever use a straw to drink with your helmet on?”

“These are the things you think about?” he laughed. His laugh was usually a quiet, muffled sound through the modulator, but it was getting easier to pick up on it. “There’s a seal on the helmet, otherwise the filters wouldn’t work,” he tapped the release on the side of his head. “So a straw isn’t a possibility, unfortunately.”

“Mmm,” you responded, “that is disappointing.”

He gripped your thigh lightly, turning toward you. “I, uh, heard back about the job... while you were asleep. It’s a go.”

“Ah... great. I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t hear back.”

“I know. It will be fine.”

“Okay... So, any ideas for where the kid and I should stay?”

To your surprise, Din explained that he had a trusted friend on Arvala-7. When you agreed to the plan, he disappeared to the cockpit to set the nav—a two-day trip.

***

That same evening, you discovered a new favorite activity on the Crest. Before bed, the kid was being particularly fussy, so you pulled out your data pad and downloaded the first children’s book you could find. It worked liked a charm.

From then on, it became a daily routine: you’d read to him until his eyelids drooped before his nap and before bedtime. Regardless of his mood, listening to you read seemed to soothe him. You’d pull him into your lap and settle onto your stack of blankets against the wall. He’d watch your face, enraptured, as you relayed story after story to him. His favorite—the story that elicited the most chirps and grabby motions and ear wiggles—centered on a family of frogs. You revisited that one at least once a day, sometimes more if he was grouchy.

You weren’t sure how to feel about his hyperfixation on that particular story given his appetite for frogs.

At this rate, your digital library was going to be largely children’s books. You didn’t mind.

You noticed that Din would find something to do in the hull while you read. The first couple times, he sat and cleaned one of his many weapons or sewed a hole in his flight suit. Very quickly, he stopped bothering with an ostensible task and would just sit and listen.

When you were still 15 hours out from Arvala-7, Din was seated on his usual crate in the hull, the one next to the weapons cabinet, as you finished the final page of a particularly thrilling story about a snail. The kid was snoring softly in your arms, so you clicked off your datapad, and got up to settle him in his hammock for his mid-day nap.

“You’re good with him.” Din was leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.

“I guess,” you shrugged, snapping the door to Din’s bunk shut and turning back to him. “I just think about what I liked as a kid. I loved when my parents would read to me.”

He nodded, helmet trained on the floor between his boots.

“I’m sorry—” you started, realizing how that must have sounded to Din.

He looked up and cut you off. “Don’t be. It’s nice for him to have some normal kid experiences.”

“You know what he’d really love?”

“What?”

“If you read to him.”

He dipped his helmet slightly in acknowledgement, rolling his shoulders back at the same time like he was uncomfortable agreeing with that.

Several hours later, you pulled Din down next to you in your normal pre-bedtime story time spot. He had the kid in his arms. You switched on your datapad and toggled through the catalog of books you’d downloaded, all of which had colorful covers and silly, whimsical titles, until you found the frog book.

“Here,” you offered, passing it over to him.

You leaned your head back against the wall and closed your eyes, listening to Din’s serious, even voice narrate the heartwarming hijinks of a family of frogs. The kid cooed and babbled along.

To your (and the kid’s) utter delight, Din’s rendition slowly evolved into a full-on dramatic reading, complete with sound effects and slightly different voices for each character, as he leaned into whatever prompted the most enthusiastic responses from the kid. You kept your eyes closed and said nothing, worried that if you drew attention to this new development, he’d get self-conscious and stop. You couldn’t help from smiling a little though.

When the story came to its conclusion, you opened your eyes. Din was scrolling through the library of options, browsing for the next book. “What do you think? Which one next?” You looked at him, but he wasn’t asking you. The kid let out a string of gibberish, pointing with a teeny finger. Din read out the titles of several options, selecting the one that triggered the most animated trill.

As Din began the story, he shifted until his body was flush with yours. The places where his beskar made contact with you were cold, even through the fabric of your clothes, but you didn’t mind.

By the time Din finished the second book, the kid was displaying the telltale signs—drooping ears and unfocused eyes—that bedtime had arrived.

Din handed you the datapad and stood to tuck the kid into bed.

As he shut the door to his bunk, you said, “I think you just put me out of a job.”

He scoffed, but you could tell he was pleased.

***

As you got more comfortable around each other, Din took to walking around without his armor—beside his helmet—on. Most of the time, he’d even leave his gloves off. He wore either a flight suit that zipped up the middle or a black shirt and pants...with suspenders. The first few times, it was jarring to see him like that, without his armor. He looked wrong. It was like seeing a turtle without its shell... but if turtles were sexy.

The first time he emerged from his bunk with the suspenders hanging loosely by his sides, you stopped dead, mouth hanging open. He tilted his helmet sharply at you: “What?”

“You sometimes wear suspenders under your armor?”

“...Yes?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you and the goofy grin that spread across your face.

“What?” he prompted again, shoulders pulling up toward his neck.

“I just really wasn’t expecting that,” you laughed.

“What were you expecting?” The playful note in his voice left you flustered. He took a step closer, much more relaxed now that he was the one doing the teasing. He was getting too good at flipping things on you.

Instead of answering—because you were not about to address the fact that you had absolutely thought about what he wore under his armor—you strode up to him and pulled the suspenders over his shoulders. He stood uncomfortably still, arms hanging awkwardly by his sides.

“What are you doing?” He looked down at his shirt then back up at you.

“I just want to get the full picture.” You looked him up and down.

“Thought about this a lot, have you?” He quirked his helmet down at you suggestively. It was only the second time you’d gotten that particular flavor of head tilt, and you...didn’t hate it. It made your neck feel hot. You disregarded the intense desire to grab him by the suspenders and jerk him toward you.

Instead, you narrowed your eyes at him, enjoying this new bold flirtation. Without looking away from his visor, you hooked a finger through one of the suspenders and pulled it out a couple inches, letting it snap back against him.

“Ow.” He stated it so matter-of-factly that it obviously hadn’t hurt, but for dramatic effect, he rubbed the spot on his chest where it hit him.

“You’ll survive,” you assured him, patting his shoulder and brushing past him to climb the ladder to the cockpit. When you sat down in the pilot’s seat and kicked your feet up to rest on the console, you still had a smile on your face.

***

A few hours later, you were seated in the copilot seat with the child held tightly in your lap as the Razor Crest descended through the atmosphere of Arvala-7. On the way, Din shared how he’d met this friend—he had helped Din when he was originally tracking down the child months ago.

However, when you asked what his friend’s name was, Din said he didn’t know. Honestly, you weren’t even that surprised. Just exasperated.

Din told you the details of when he tracked down the child, including the assassin droid he'd crossed paths with. He explained how he’d teamed up with IG-11, but in the end, he had to destroy the droid to protect the kid. The anger in his voice was raw when he described watching IG-11 point his blaster at the child.

As the dusty, cracked surface of the planet came into view, you asked, “Is that what caused your thing with droids?”

“What thing?”

“Din.”

He was silent for a long moment.

“Droids destroyed my home planet, killed my parents. They’re the reason I was a foundling as a child.”

His words washed over you, and your heart dropped. You leaned forward in your seat to put a hand on his shoulder. He stayed perfectly still, helmet trained on the controls in front of him.

“I’m sorry.”

He nodded stiffly and reached up to squeeze your hand briefly.

“We’re about to land.”

You took that as a cue to drop the subject for now.

***

You and Din, the kid in his arms, approached a small collection of low structures. You swept your eyes across the uniform landscape—all was dry and sienna and flat. The Ugnaught’s homestead was the only sign of habitation in sight. The buildings were brown and domed, and windmills creaked slowly in the warm breeze. Three blurrgs in a large corral watched you balefully.

“Mandalorian!” the Ugnaught greeted, emerging from the door of his low home.

“Ugnaught,” Din replied with a nod.

“I did not think I would see you here again. What business brings you back to Arvala-7?”

“I was hoping that my friends could stay with you for a couple nights—I’ll pay you for the lodging.”

Of course he'd refer to me and a literal infant as his "friends."

You introduced yourself, offering your hand.

The Ugnaught bowed his head slightly as he clasped your hand: “It is nice to make your acquaintance. I am Kuill.”

At least Din knows his name now.

Kuill turned back to Din. “The child remains in your care,” he observed.

“Yes,” said Din, offering no explanation. He set the child down on the ground, and he toddled his way slowly over to Kuill.

Kuill scooped up the baby, and he chirruped happily, reaching toward his whiskery mustache.

“It hasn’t grown much.”

“I think it might be a Strand-Cast.”

You shot Din a skeptical look. He’d never shared this particular theory of his with you.

“I don’t think it was engineered. I’ve worked in the gene farms. This one looks evolved. Too ugly,” mused Kuill.

You raised your eyebrows at the frankness of his statement. He is not ugly.

“Your friends are welcome to stay with me. No payment will be necessary. I have spoken.” Kuill turned and headed back inside without so much as a backward glance.

“I insist,” Din said to his back.

Kuill disappeared into his home.

Din turned to you: “He does that. Just ends a conversation like that.”

“I understand why the two of you get along so well. Men of few words.” You raised an eyebrow at him.

Din nodded, reinforcing your point inadvertently.

You and Din stepped closer to each other at the same time. For the first time, you let the concern you were feeling color your features.

“I’ll be back in three days, if not sooner.”

He was padding his timeline in response to the worry that was etched across your face. You knew Din could defend himself—that wasn’t your fear. It was that, whether he liked to admit it or not, he occasionally let trust blind him. The irony of that wasn’t lost on you, considering how long it had taken for him to trust you. This was the trademark paradox of Din. He was loath to fully let people in, but he had a tendency to take people at face value and assume they would keep their word—because he always kept his word. He had a surprisingly generous worldview for someone with such a violent profession and brutal past.

Din reached down to grab something small that was tucked in his belt—the metal ball from one of the controls in the cockpit that the kid loved to play with. He occasionally pretended to be irritated whenever he wanted to play with it, but you knew he found it endearing.

He handed it to you. “He’ll want that.”

You smiled and nodded, looking at the sphere in your palm. Din raised a hand to your chin and tilted your face back up to his.

Do we... hug? He doesn’t seem like a hugger.

So instead, you offered, “Be careful, okay?”

“I will,” he promised. He stayed there for a moment longer, looking at you and rubbing his thumb along your cheek. Before you could decide if you should also try to hug him, he turned abruptly to walk back to the Crest.

You stayed and watched him as he walked the distance back to the ship and disappeared up the ramp. You stayed and watched as the Razor Crest rumbled to life and took off. You stayed and watched as it ascended through the atmosphere and vanished from view.

***

It was a relief to be off the ship for a few days—even if Arvala-7 wasn’t exactly your ideal planet. It would be a treat to eat real food, instead of shelf-stable ration packs, and to have more than the limited space of the ship to move around in... not to mention an actual bed.

Kuill was a kind and welcoming host. He offered you his spare room, where you placed your things, and you sat down for tea together in his small kitchen.

“How did you come to be in the company of the Mandalorian and the child?”

“I guess he has a soft spot for people who are wanted by the Empire?” you chuckled, and Kuill nodded somberly. “Now, we’re just helping each other out.” You weren’t really sure how else to explain it.

Kuill didn’t press you anymore than that, nodding sagely. Instead, while you sipped your tea with the kid on your lap, he told you about his background—decades of indentured servitude to the Empire before he worked off his debt and bought his freedom—in the solemn, frugal way that was clearly characteristic of the Ugnaught. You understood why Din trusted him: he was forthright, calm, wise.

“What can I help you with while I’m here?” you asked, already anxious to find something to occupy your time.

“You are my guest. You do not need to do any work.”

“I would be happy to,” you insisted. “I would rather be busy. I can help with cleaning or repairs—whatever you need. My formal training was in programming, but I’ve picked up general skills along the way.”

Kuill nodded and said, “Come.”

He turned and walked out of his house. You set down your tea on the table and followed him, the child tucked in the crook of your elbow, happily clutching the silver ball. Kuill stopped in front of the workstation that was a short distance from his doorway. Tools and wiring and various speeder parts were arranged on and around a long workbench and a collection of smaller tables and shelves. The circular backdrop of the workbench was the repurposed window of a TIE fighter.

An assassin droid was laid across the tabletop.

“Is this the droid that Mando shot?”

“I believe so, yes. It was left behind, in the Mandalorian’s wake of destruction. I found it lying where it fell—devoid of all life. I recovered the flotsam and staked it as my own in accordance with the Charter of the New Republic. Little remains of its neural harness. Reconstruction will be quite difficult.”

“What are your plans for it?”

“To convert it from an assassin droid to something more useful: a protocol and nurse droid.”

You nodded. “Handy.”

“I will have to reconstruct the neural harness, and then it will have to relearn every function from scratch. It will be a blank slate on which to program something nurturing instead of destructive. You may help me restore him if you would like.”

“Of course.”

The two of you got to work.

***

That night, when you lay down to sleep, you tossed and turned. The child was snuggled in a makeshift crib next to your bed. You found yourself sitting up periodically to check on him. Every time you checked on him, he was sleeping soundly.

Eventually, you slipped out of your bed, tiptoed quietly through the house, and walked out into the cold, clear night. You walked aimlessly for a while, circling the corral of blurrgs. They were asleep, eyes shut tight, standing in a close clump. Then you turned to head out across the open plain and watch the stars through the thin veil of clouds that dusted the sky.

You were starting to regret that you hadn’t pushed harder to go with Din. He was with a whole team of people who sounded untrustworthy at best, malicious at worst. You couldn’t help but think of all the things you should have said to him before he left. You hadn’t even hugged him.

It was freaking you out a little just how attached you were to a man who you’d known for a couple months.

You walked until the chill of the night air became too much, then turned back.

In the morning, you sat at Kuill’s kitchen table again, feeding the child. Kuill moved around the small food prep area, pulling together breakfast and making tea.

You followed Kuill as he went about his daily jobs, caring for the blurrgs, doing routine maintenance, and continuing the work on IG-11.

You were sweating in the sun, hands covered in grease, concentrating on refitting a damaged arm joint when Kuill’s calm voice brought you out of your train of thought.

“It is curious that the Mandalorian elected to keep the child.”

You looked up at him. “He secretly has a soft heart,” you said, smiling to yourself.

“Yes, that much is clear, but he is also set in his beliefs, and this choice went against the Guild Code. What is curious is that such a small being could inspire a change of heart in such a rigid person.”

You considered his words.

“I... think he was just waiting to find a greater purpose than hunting, to find someone to love, you know? It comes naturally to him, but I don’t think he’d ever had the chance.”

Kuill hummed thoughtfully. “Is that not what we are all doing—looking for a greater purpose?”

“I guess?” You shrugged.

“And have you?”

“Have I what?” you asked, wiping a bead of sweat off your forehead.

“Have you found the greater purpose you were looking for?”

You considered for a moment then said, “Well... I found a purpose a long time ago, when I joined the Alliance, and since then, I’ve been too busy trying to escape the wrath of the Empire to really think about what’s next in the larger sense... Staying alive has been the main priority.”

Kuill hummed again, glancing over at the kid. “You weren’t looking for something greater, but it appears to have found you.”

“I...,” you started. You watched the child, who was siting on the hard ground admiring the silver ball clutched in his hand. “I’m not sure.”

“I have spoken,” said Kuill, bowing his head, and he lapsed back into silence.

You watched the kid as he dropped the ball and staggered to his feet, squealing excitedly as he chased a lizard that darted past him. You wondered where Din was at this exact moment, and your heart squeezed in a familiar way.

***

The second night was much like the first. You walked outside for some time, thinking of all the awful things that could be happening to Din.

What if they turn on him?

What if another hunter finds him?

What if he doesn’t come back?

It wasn't a crazy thought. You were used to people not coming back.

Until that moment, you hadn't considered that you'd be the sole guardian of the kid if Din didn't return. For a split second, you felt the crushing weight of responsibility for the life and safety and happiness of the tiny green child that Din must feel at all times.

Eventually you fell into a fitful sleep, waking early, and the day dawned bright and cold. As the sun climbed, the chill rapidly dissipated, making way for a dry heat that seemed to be the only weather condition on Arvala-7.

You spent the morning helping Kuill continue the repairs on IG-11. You did your best to not count the hours that slipped by. He’d said it could take three days, so there was no reason to be concerned yet.

But... did he mean he would return ON the third day? Or the fourth day?

And for that matter... did the day he left count as day one? Or was yesterday day one?

Did he mean seventy-two hours from the time he left? Or that he’d be back at the start of the third day?

How did I not clarify this before he left??

That evening, you were in deep in discussion about artificial intelligence when Kuill said, “I believe your Mandalorian has returned to you.” He pointed behind you, and you whipped around to see the Crest touching down in a cloud of dust in the distance.

“Will you—?” you asked, turning back to Kuill.

“I will watch the child.” He seemed vaguely amused by your enthusiasm.

You sprang to your feet and walked as fast as you could toward the Crest. You briefly considered running, but that felt dramatic. He’d only been gone a couple days.

Why did he land so fucking far away?

You’d made it about half the distance when the ramp of the Crest finally began to lower with a hiss. Your resolve snapped, and you started to jog. Din descended the ramp, and you were so relieved to see him that you weren’t even embarrassed anymore that you were literally running to him.

Din cocked his head—a curious head tilt—when he saw you sprinting at him across the dusty ground. He paused at the bottom of the ramp.

“Are you—?” he started to say as you crashed into his chest and wrapped your arms around him. He barely budged upon impact.

His shoulders relaxed immediately, and he pulled you tight against him.

Well, if he wasn’t a hugger before, he is now.

“I’m okay,” he reassured you.

“Good,” you said into the fabric bunched around his neck.

After a moment, you released him and stepped back, the steadying weight of his hands remaining on your arms. He looked like he was in one piece, but the slight heaviness in his shoulders told you that the job had taken a toll on him.

“I, uh, missed you too,” he said, a little awkwardly.

You smiled at him and took his gloved hand in yours to walk back towards Kuill’s home. You felt slightly giddy that you were casually holding the Mandalorian’s hand. He seemed taken by it too, his helmet tilted down to where your fingers were intertwined.

“The kid?” he asked, looking up to your face.

“He’s good. Misses you, I think. Ate several frogs. And one lizard. The usual. He is disgusting,” you laughed.

Din made a sound that you would almost swear was a snort. “Yeah, he is,” he agreed fondly.

Kuill was waiting outside his home, the child in his arms. When you and Din were close, Kuill set him down, and the baby tottered over to wrap his tiny arms around Din’s calf.

You watched as Din bent stiffly, slowly to pick up the kid.

“You’re hurt,” you realized.

“I'm fine,” he said.

You felt sure that wasn’t true, but you let it be for the moment.

“Thank you,” Din addressed Kuill. He reached into the pouch of his belt for credits.

“I will not accept payment,” Kuill insisted, shaking his head. “In fact, your friend here helped me make great progress on my current project.” Kuill raised his eyebrows at you.

“Very well,” Din acquiesced.

You gathered your things and said your thank yous and goodbyes, returning to the Crest, which—with a jolt—you realized was already starting to feel like home.

***

Chapter 8

***

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