#i’m constantly terrified

[panic-on-panic-on-panic]

Okay I am a little bothered.

I play this multiplayer online game, Puzzle Pirates, which is like, basically a bunch of people combining their puzzling skills to do things like Make Ship Go Fast. I’ve been playing on and off since I was like, twelve, so it’s a familiar online Thing for me.

I want to be an artist and take commissions and blah blah blah but AvPD is a BITCH and I’m generally afraid to even leave a one-word comment on a single post on ANY social media site, so my therapist has suggested that I play more YPP in order to expose myself to people who AREN’T my dad (I live with him and talk to almost no one else) and gain confidence in my ability to communicate online.

This is all well and good but I told my mom and brother that my therapist said I should play more YPP and my brother was like “Wow, I wish I had your therapist! She’s telling you to play more video games!”

Like you don’t fucking get it. You literally do not fucking get it. A lot of this is not fun for me. I make one wrong social move and have to spend DAYS on my alternate character because I don’t want anyone to mention my fuckup to my face. I have an anxiety attack every time someone sends me a Tell. Today was Big because someone recognized me and it wasn’t because I suck and I didn’t have a panic attack about it. I posted a single thing in trade chat not that long ago and my therapist said she was proud of me for going outside my comfort zone, even more so because I responded and sold a thing for a reasonable price.

So this is not just “playing video games”. Sometimes it activates my stress induced nausea. Sometimes I have to take a gabapentin before I’m able to play. Sending a one-word message, not even a Tell, is agonizing. Underperforming even once sends me into a tizzy.

And you wish this on yourself??? You wanna have to take zofran and gabapentin before logging on? I bet you fucking don’t.

[lesbianleonardo]

sooo normal about this (lying)

[cinnamontoads]

i like cillian murphy he’s like if a beautiful pixie and an undead enchanted skeleton had a baby

[aimseytv]

guqqie just rolled over in her sleep and said ‘i want to squish you’ and then just went back to sleep ????

[ninety-two-bees]

i will forever be obsessed with how talented my friends are

[oysters-aint-for-me]

currently stoned and wondering if i actually prefer long-distance relationships or if i just didn’t like my most recent partner enough to care that we were in one

[mjfs-heat-seeker]

MJF going on that rant at the beginning of collision tonight was just—

As if I needed a reminder that MJF is PAINFULLY reminiscent of myself. Y’all can like him because he’s cute, because he’s funny, I can joke, but at my core I know that I love him because he’s just me.

He’s agonizingly relatable and I will always support him for that reason alone

(brb, still sobbing over that promo, don’t come for me)

(no one could make me hate you, my ADD riddled baby girl)

[ghostzzy]

did she see this post lol

[thanager]

i am not mentally stable at all right now

[thatgenderfluidiot]

When you’re constantly wearing the same clothes but then they wear out faster but you don’t want them to wear out because they’re you’re favorite so then you stress out/cry over it

[makotonaegiunderstander]

do you ever go do autism crazy for something you can feel it in ur chest. like it’s hard to breathe almost it’s making you gasp for breath and jump around physically. got an adrenaline rush thinking abt Kirigiri.

[unhealthily-obsessing]

I always see people argue about Star Wars cannon and what the “right” way to interpret the story is and like man I’m just here for the vibes.

Me: Cannon? What’s cannon? Never heard of her. I live in my own Star Wars world.

[redjukebox]

Me @ my brain: cmon man we gootta focus on this school shit and we gotta do all these things to ensure we’re good for the next quarter and we literally cannot be late or we’re so screwed and we reeeaally have to make an appointment like we’ve had to for the past 3 months pleeeaasee

My brain: ok but like what if Tick Tock constantly feels the need to move around, whether it’s moving his ears, tail, tapping his hoof, or even just talking to make sure that he still can?? Like bro was paralyzed and literally could not move AT ALL for at LEAST a year (at the very VERY least) like that must’ve done SOOOO MUCH DAMAGE OH MY GOD HE LITERALLY COULD NOOOT MOOVE BRO HE WAS 12

[nrd-answers]

MOTIVATION

EXPECT ASKS IN A BIT

[captain-lovelace]

Ngl sometimes I wish anxiety wasn’t so common so I would be able to talk about it and have people respond with like oh something is going seriously wrong with the crushing terror you feel on an everyday basis rather than like yeah yeah the crushing terror we’ve all felt it just suck it up and deal like everyone else does

[theamazingannie]

Gaylors really gonna come out in full force over Taylor having a song in a Heartstopper scene when not so long ago we had to deal with people forcefully outing Kit like can we fucking LEARN????