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whatsk-poppinhomies · 2 days

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Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x F!Reader TW : reader is pregnant ; Hyunjin is stressed ; small argument ; reader breaks up with Hyunjin ; Hyunjin regret ; it's mainly angst ; no happy ending ; Word Count : 7.4k A/N : I'm back! Gonna try to write as much as I can before my new job starts!! Request : Anonny : Can you do an angsty Hyunjin Drabble we’re Hyunjin snaps at her because he’s stressed and she’s pregnant but she thinks he snapped because he knows about her pregnancy so she leaves him and he regrets everything and grovels a lot

“Hey baby…” Hyunjin murmured as he walked through the front door, the dark circles under his eyes evident in the bright fluorescent light that hung above the landing. His schedule was grueling nowadays and the jet lag that he experienced had him in so many different time zones you didn’t know how his body was able to handle it. He didn’t even have time to adjust to different sleep schedules before he was being whisked away once again. “Gonna go wash up…” He trudged to the bathroom, the sound of water rushing through the pipes filled the otherwise empty house.

It was always like this, you barely even talked to him anymore other than the short greeting when he walked through the front door. You knew he loved you though, he just didn’t have the energy to really act on the feeling anymore like he used to. You still loved him too, and you’d be there for him no matter what. There was one small… well… Small right now problem… Well, not actually a problem, but it was something that had you slightly on edge.

You had found out you were pregnant, and it’s not like you didn’t want to tell Hyunjin, it just felt like there was never a right time to tell him. He was always gone, and when he came home you didn’t want to bother him with something this big when he already had so much to worry about. It had only been 2 weeks since you took the test, and while you weren’t a fan of hiding things like this, you were still in that timeframe where anything could happen… So it would be unnecessary to even tell him right now when anything could go wrong.

The more you thought about it, it became very evident to you that the trashcan in the bathroom hadn’t needed to be cleared since you took the test. He had been gone for so long, you hadn’t even thought to hide the evidence. It completely slipped your mind, and now you were thinking way too hard, you were panicking. You couldn’t just run in there and take the trash out, he’d question what you were doing. What if he had already seen it? What if he had seen the boxes? What if he looked in the trashcan and saw the positive tests?

Everything might have been quiet in the house, but your thoughts were so loud, and when the water finally shut off and the shower curtain slid open you had barely heard it. It wasn’t until his damp feet padded across the hardwood floors that you lifted your head and saw him coming closer, a towel hanging around his neck to catch the droplets of water that fell from the ends of his hair.

He moved right past the couch that you were sitting on and dropped down into the chair on the other side of the room. It’s not like there wasn’t any room right next to you though… It’s like he didn’t want to sit next to you. Did he find out? Was he mad? He seemed alright when he came through the front door, sure, maybe a bit tired, but that wouldn’t make him want to sit on the complete opposite side of the room… right?

“How was your-” You started, but he let out a loud groan, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Was he annoyed? Was it because you hadn’t told him? He had to have found out, that’s the only reason you could think of. Your top teeth came down into your bottom lip, a sharp breath shooting in between your teeth as you stared at him.

“I’m not ready.” He muttered, and while you didn’t let on outwardly, those three words had your stomach twisting into the tightest knots. Your mouth opened, not even to speak, just to breathe, but his eyes rolled and your lips quickly snapped shut. “Just, don’t talk please. I’m not ready. There’s just too much going on.”

Your head nodded slowly until you were looking straight down at your lap, your fingers twirling around themselves as nervousness and panic completely took over. He found out, he knew, and he didn’t want to know anything about it… He didn’t want anything to do with you or the life growing inside of you right now. He was too busy. “Sorry…” You mumbled, holding your breath to keep yourself from crying right then and there.

“Maybe I should just stay with the guys tonight…” He proposed, and it’s not like you were going to tell him not to. It’s not like you even had time to try to talk him out of it if you wanted to, he was getting up already, tossing his towel into the hamper next to the washer and then going back to the front door, grabbing his keys off the hook and walking out. Not a goodbye, not an “I love you”... nothing. He just… left.

///

“It’s just overwhelming being home after so long…” Hyunjin explained to Chan as he fell onto the couch, his hands running over his face as he let out a loud sigh. “And I know she misses me, and I miss her too… I just can’t sleep, I’m not hungry yet and my schedule is so messed up, I don’t want to bother her with all of that.”

Chans head nodded slowly in agreement, but then he stopped, his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows lowered to cast shadows over his already darkened eyes. “You… did tell her that… right? You told her all of that… Right?” He questioned, and Hyunjins head fell as he let out a dejected sigh. Of course he didn’t tell you that. If he did, you’d just give up more of your time to try to help him. “So you just left… For no reason? And you think that when you return home, everything will be fine?”

“I’m not stupid, hyung. I know that things won’t be fine.” Hyunjin muttered, letting out an even heavier sigh which turned to a yawn. “But I have another out of country promotion thing coming up, so I’m thinking that I’ll just stay here until I leave for that, and then I’ll have a break when I get back to talk to her. It’ll give me time to get back on a schedule that lines up with hers and I’ll be able to actually be with her.”

He could read on Chans face that he wasn’t on board with the plan at all, but he didn’t speak a word about it, instead just shaking his head as he pushed himself up off the couch. “If that’s what you think will work, fine. I won’t interfere with your relationship, you know her best. I’m just hoping that you make the right decision, for your sake, and for hers.” There wasn’t much else to say anyway, deep down Hyunjin knew that his decision making was flawed in some way or another, it’s just that he didn’t know what else to do.

Leaving the way he did left no room for error, the way he left was an error in itself. He might not let on that he knows it was a mistake, but it was, he knew it was. There would undoubtedly be an argument once he did come home, and the time that he was giving the both of you between then and now was mainly to prepare himself for that argument. He hated fighting with you, but being as busy as he always was had him constantly on edge. It’s not like he meant to take it out on you either, he really tried not to, that’s why he left as well. He was just so damn tired. He hoped that you’d understand.

///

“So you’re… pregnant… and you left? You just walked out?” Your friend asked as you sat in her living room, your eyes burning from the tears that you had cried earlier whilst explaining everything to her. “You’re sure that he knows? Like, 100% sure? This seems like… And I’m not disregarding your feelings at all… But, your hormones are most likely surging and, I don’t want you to make this kind of decision based on a whim… You know?”

You knew where she was coming from, she always thought more logically than most, and that’s why you had gone to her specifically to talk to her about what was going on. “Why else would he say that? Why else would he just walk out the way that he did? He didn’t even tell me that he loved me… It’s like… Like he realized he doesn’t love me now that he found out I’m having his kid.” And you crumbled once again, a blubbering mess curled up into yourself on her couch, and no amount of back rubs or consolations were going to make you feel any better. “I mean… I know that we never really talked about having children… And he’s been so busy lately… I just didn’t think he’d react like this…”

She let out a slow breath, she was clearly thinking, but she also knew that right now, you didn’t need realistic thoughts or “what ifs”, you just needed her to be there for you, and that’s what she’d be. “Everything will be okay… I’ll help you no matter what you decide to do.” You fell against her shoulder, letting yourself cry to the point of your eyes feeling so heavy that you could barely keep them open, and you eventually fell asleep. At least in your dreams, this hadn’t happened. Your subconscious mind hadn’t fully come to terms with the events of the day, and in your mind, you and Hyunjin were still happy, and your vivid imagination played out a reality where he and you raised your child together, in a loving home, one where he wasn’t so busy, one where he was actually excited to be a father.

Upon awakening, you immediately checked your phone. A thin sliver of hope that maybe he had messaged you, maybe he’d want to talk about what had happened and why he reacted the way he did. Maybe he’d apologize, maybe he’d explain things… but there was nothing. There were no calls or texts, hell, you even checked your email just in case… It’s like he walked out and completely forgot that you existed.

“Sleep well?” Your friend asked as she turned the corner from the kitchen, her head tilted as she watched you look through your phone, and the cheerful smile she had been wearing just a millisecond before faded to a frown as she walked to sit beside you. “Let’s not worry about that, yeah? We can order in tonight, watch some movies, really get your mind off of things?”

You nodded in agreement, mainly because she was trying so hard, you weren’t going to shoot down her attempts at trying to cheer you up. She was doing the best she could as your friend, and she couldn’t just bring Hyunjin to you or force him to explain… That was something he had to decide to do on his own.

There was nothing though, nothing that could be done to actually get your mind off of what was happening. You couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that you’d most likely be a single mother, that Hyunjin wanted nothing to do with you or his child. He wasn’t ready, he didn’t have the time to be around for things like that. He was responsible for so many other things, he had so much on his shoulders, how was he possibly supposed to juggle everything that he was already dealing with and being a father on top of that?

“You pick the movie and I’ll order the food, okay?” She patted your knee after passing you the remote, giving you a smile, but it felt more apologetic. She felt sorry for you. Everyone would pity you… Or maybe they’d pity him. They wouldn’t listen to your side of the story, especially the fans. They’d take his side regardless of what you say. He was perfect, and you had essentially stolen him from them in the first place. They hated you from the beginning, they would find any reason to break you down further.

Or, maybe they’d be happy that you made this decision. They could go back to their delusional thoughts, their dreams that they’d actually have a chance with him now that you were out of the picture. You didn’t want to deal with all of that though. You didn’t want any of this to be made public, you wanted to disappear. That’s exactly what you’d do… You didn’t need him to message you, you didn’t need an explanation…. It would be better for you and your child to be free of him. Maybe… Hopefully, he’d avoid you long enough and just forget about you, forget about the baby, forget about everything.

///

“She hasn’t texted you back yet?” Felix asked Hyunjin who was doubled over the kitchen counter, visibly shaking from crying, yet no sound was coming out, not anymore. “Look, I’m sure there’s a reason… What was the last thing you said to her?” Felix, who hadn’t been told of everything that had happened prior to Hyunjins return for his promotions, was just trying to help as much as he could.

“Nothing… I didn’t say anything to her…” Hyunjin gasped out, finally lifting his head to reveal his eyes that were puffy and red, but underneath the redness was a darker purple from lack of sleep. “She took… Everything. All of her stuff is gone. She left.” And with that reflection came another round of tears. “Chan hyung was right… I know he thought I was stupid… my plan was stupid…”

Felix was baffled to say the least, and on top of that, quite disappointed in his friend who had spent the last 3 years gushing over how much he loved you and how he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you. How could Hyunjin have fumbled so badly? “Let me get this straight… You haven’t talked to her at all? What happened?” Now, Felix was no expert on relationships, but he was sure that he could help in some way. There had to be something he could do to help Hyunjin get you back. Things couldn’t be so bad that there was no hope.

“I left… I walked out… And and… It wasn’t her fault… But I did it wrong. I didn’t say goodbye and I didn’t tell her I loved her…” There was still hope though, it’s not like Hyunjin would have ghosted you while he was gone… It was almost a whole month of traveling. He couldn’t go that long without talking to you. Hell, he couldn’t even go that long without talking about you. “I knew I messed up, and I thought… Maybe a little bit of time would make things better. I thought I’d be able to talk to her when I got back because now I have a break… But she’s gone.”

“So you just… Nothing? No communication at all…?” Felixs teeth gritted together, all thoughts of being able to help had been thrown out the window as Hyunjin shamefully nodded his head. “So this… this might be fixable still… you know… with a lot of work. A lot of communication and explanations… This could still work.” But even Hyunjin knew that Felix was just trying to take away some of the sting, give him just a bit of false hope so he could at least sleep easier tonight, but none of it would work. Hyunjin knew the mistakes he had made had cost him an entire 3 year relationship. He fucked up, and there was no coming back from it.

“I’m not stupid, Felix…” The words came out as an exasperated sigh, he didn’t need false hope, he needed you back, and that was the one thing he wasn’t going to get. “I’ve tried to call her, it goes straight to voicemail. My texts won’t even go through. She blocked me. She wants nothing to do with me. I can’t fix things, I don’t even know where she’s at.” He ran his hands rather roughly through his hair, strands getting stuck and yanked out between his fingers, only worrying Felix more. Hyunjin was beyond stressed at this point, he was stressed and depressed, and those two are a very bad combination.

“How about you just not think about it for a bit. Just… Focus on literally anything else.” At this point Felix was pleading. Seeing Hyunjin like this, although it was solely Hyunjins fault, was devastating and beyond worrisome. He didn’t know what Hyunjin would do, he didn’t know how bad Hyunjin could get, he didn’t even know if this was the worst of it. He didn’t like seeing his best friend like this.

Hyunjin scoffed, an unamused smirk stretching across his face. “Oh? Focus on something else, like I’ve been doing? That’s the reason I lost her in the first place. I’m tired of having to focus on so much other shit that I can’t even focus on my own girlfriend!” His voice continued to rise in volume and pitch, and now Felix was downright scared. “I lost the love of my life because I put everything else in front of her! I made everything else my priority! You see where that gets me!”

Felix stumbled back, scared to even attempt to make eye contact at this point. “Look, I get that you’re mad at yourself right now, and that’s fair… But you need to calm down…” Hyunjin wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, he was sure of that, but his hands instinctively moved out in front of him to keep some space between himself and Hyunjin, just in case his words upset Hyunjin even more. “Maybe she needs some time… Maybe she’ll come back to you. You can't just… You can’t be going off like this…”

A laugh, almost maniacal, escaped Hyunjins lips, his head falling back as the sound seemed to vibrate the whole room. “Calm down… Calm down?! How?! How am I supposed to calm down!? Would you stay calm during a situation like this?! If you ruined your entire relationship would you just be calm!?” He continued shouting, and Felix knew that at this point there was no use. He would either descend completely into madness, or he’d come to his senses and realize that he’s acting absolutely crazy right now. “I need to go out, I need a drink or something.” Hyunjin mumbled, and while Felix knew that a drink was the last thing that Hyunjin needed, there was no use trying to stop him, there was no use trying to talk to him, there was no use trying to do anything to help right now.

///

“You’re in a good mood today. What’s got you so happy?” Your friend asked, noticing that you were smiling at your phone for the last 15 minutes at least. “Did you get a new boyfriend or something?” You whipped your head up long enough to scowl at her, and she laughed lightly as she leaned back against the couch. “Okay, no boyfriend… So, what is it?”

You turned your phone in her direction and waved it back and forth as you exclaimed. “I got the apartment that I’ve been looking at. It’s affordable and big enough for myself and the baby.” You dropped your hand down to your lap, clicking off your phone and letting out a soft sigh. “I’ll miss staying with you though… You’ll have to visit me a lot.”

She snorted loudly, leaning forward and reaching over to grab your hand. “I know that you felt like you needed to do this, but I wouldn’t have minded you staying here. The company was nice…” The corners of your mouth pulled down into a frown at the sentiment, it was too late to go back now that you had already agreed and the landlord was in the process of getting the leasing papers. “Hey, no pouting. I’ll be over your place so much that it’ll be like I live there.”

Maybe it was the hormones that had tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, or maybe it was just the fact that you had become so comfortable staying at your friend's apartment that you know how you’d actually do this on your own. Now you wouldn’t have anyone, not Hyunjin, and not even her. “Promise?” You whimpered, and a sympathetic smile spread across her face as she dabbed at your tears with the sleeve of her hoodie.

“I promise. I’m gonna be like the second mom that the baby never asked for.” You laughed weakly at the joke before finally taking a deep breath and getting up, your friend moving right alongside you. “So when is the next appointment? I wanna know what our baby is gonna be, hmm!” You rolled your eyes, but it felt nice to hear someone, anyone, call the baby ours and not just yours…

“Next week…” You murmured as you walked into the kitchen to grab a drink and she followed right behind you. “Is it okay to be scared? I mean… Once I find out… that makes it more real. I still feel alone… And I know that you’re here and I’m so happy that you are… I don’t know what I would have done without you here… But he’s… I still have dreams about him… What it would be like to have him as a part of the baby’s life.”

“That’s normal…” She reassured you, stepping around the counter to rub your back in soothing circles. “Just because you got rid of him doesn’t mean that your heart or your mind can or will get rid of him. He’s the father of that baby, regardless of whether he wants to act the part or not, and you won’t forget that.” And once again you were sniffling, your head falling against her shoulder as she consoled you. She put up with a lot for you, and for that you felt awful, even if she said she didn’t mind. You truly didn’t know what you’d do without her.

///

Hyunjin had slowly begun to get back to his normal routine, although he still missed you, at least during the day he was able to act like he was okay. The same couldn’t be said about nighttime though, he’d lay in bed scrolling through his pictures of you and just cry. 6 months was a long time to be away from someone, and most people would think that it was enough time to get over someone… But it was hard to get over a person if that person was the one that you were in love with.

Daylight hours though, he was the Hyunjin that everyone knew and loved. The only thing that was different was that he didn’t talk about you anymore, and it’s not that he didn’t try to, it’s just that the guys would stop him before he could even get a word out.

It had been weeks now since he had last tried to even bring you up, and all of the guys really thought they were beginning to get somewhere. Sure, they’d still hear him crying at night, but they were really hoping that soon he’d be able to move on, maybe not to another girl, but move on from his mistakes, use them as a lesson in the future for what not to do.

“We should go to the cafe since we’ve got a break, yeah?” Felix suggested as he sat against the mirrored wall beside Hyunjin in the practice room. “I think we deserve to reward ourselves after all of our practice. Plus, I know your ass would never turn down an iced americano, so let’s go.” Hyunjin chuckled as he and Felix both got up off the floor, heading to the door.

“We should go to my favorite place, they’ve got the best pastries and I’m so hungry.” Felix nodded along to the suggestion, anything to make Hyunjin happy and keep him happy. What both of the guys didn’t know though, was that Hyunjins favorite cafe had become your favorite cafe as well. It’s not like you could help the cravings that seemed to come almost overnight the further along you got in your pregnancy.

The walk was short, it was within a block of the building, and maybe that’s why Hyunjin had come to like it so much. It wasn’t just the taste of the beverages and the treats, it was the convenience of it as well. Not just that, but there were memories there, memories that he tried to keep at the back of his mind, but just the sight of the familiar storefront sign had the memories flooding in. He couldn’t help but think back on all the days that he’d meet you there during your lunch breaks, holding hands with you across the table as you both talked about your days. Where did it all go wrong?

“Oh look!” Felix announced, breaking the silence of the otherwise quiet walk. “It must be the anniversary of the cafe opening or something. They’ve got balloons all out front.” Hyunjins eyes were drawn to the pink and white orbs that floated in the front of the shop. Over the five years that he had been going there, he had never seen them do anything like that before for anniversaries, but maybe this one was important.

“That’s cute… Maybe they’ll have some specials or something.” Hyunjin joked, his pace picking up slightly at the thought of a discounted treat. Things were starting to get a little weird now though as he and Felix got closer. There had never been so many cars parked out front of the cafe at once, and as he glanced through the window, he could see pink and white streamers hanging from the ceiling. “Is someone having a party?” He questioned, and Felix peaked in as well, but ultimately shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m sure they’re not using the whole cafe, come on. We can probably still get a seat.” Felix pushed through the door, the chime above the door ringing out and letting the employees and everyone else in the cafe know they were there. “Looks like a baby shower… I’ve never known of people having baby showers at cafes… That’s new.” He mused, pointing to the banner that hung above the counter.

“Is it just me… or did it get like… really awkward in here…” Hyunjin whispered, noticing the way the entire cafe seemed to go silent upon their entrance. He couldn’t help but feel antsy under the gazes of so many people. “Maybe we should just go back after we order…”

“Or it could just be because we’re famous… Come on… Don’t make me walk back yet. My feet are tired.” Felix playfully whined, and Hyunjin relented. He was sure that Felix was right, sometimes it was easy to forget that he was an idol, especially when he was out doing normal things like getting coffee with his best friend. “Maybe if the parents know of us, they’ll ask us to take pictures. I wouldn’t mind doing that. That would be so cool actually.” Felix continued to think out loud after ordering the drinks and the pastries, Hyunjin following along as they walked to a table closer to the back.

By that time, it seemed like the people that had already been there for the baby shower were talking amongst themselves, quieter now, and Hyunjin was trying so hard not to be pessimistic, he was trying to truly believe what Felix had said, but there was just this feeling in his stomach that these people weren’t shocked or in awe at the fact that the two of them had shown up. They were angry. Then, the chime above the door rang out, and a unified chorus of “surprise” was cheered. That’s when Felix almost choked on his drink, his eyes widening as he set his eyes upon the new “customer”.

“There is no fucking way…” Felix muttered, and it’s not like he’d be able to keep Hyunjin from looking, it’s not like they wouldn’t pass by the party anyway on the way out. If something were to happen, it was bound to happen, regardless of how much Felix tried to keep it from happening, so he decided not to try at all. All he could do was hold his breath as he watched Hyunjin turn around in his seat and then completely freeze when his eyes landed on you.

It wasn’t just you though, there was someone else… Although they weren’t visible right now, they weren’t standing beside you… They were growing inside of you. You had to be 6… maybe 7 months pregnant by now… And it was all starting to make sense to Hyunjin now… At least in his head. That’s why you left. You had gotten pregnant by someone else while he was away, that had to be the reason. What other reason was there for you to just leave the way you did without saying a single word. This whole time he had thought that it had been his fault… But you had cheated on him. You cheated and you didn’t even have the common decency to tell him before you left.

“Wow! Congratulations!” Hyunjin cheered snarkily as he loudly pushed his chair back and got up, clapping his hands together so hard that it almost echoed off the walls. “Crazy that of all places I finally get to see you again, it’s at your baby shower! Is that why you left, huh? You just couldn’t stay faithful while I was away and you managed to get knocked up! Where’s the father? Where is he, hmm!? I just wanna talk to him!” His voice started rising in pitch and getting louder and louder, something that Felix had seen before, and even though he was upset as well, he didn’t want Hyunjin to do something that he might end up regretting.

“What are you talking about?” You managed to say through tears and sobs, your arms seeming to instinctively wrap around your stomach to protect it from Hyunjins anger. “Stop trying to act so innocent just because you’re out in public! Or did you not even tell Felix?! Or maybe you just conveniently forgot that you’re the one that walked out on me because you found out I was pregnant and you didn’t want to deal with it!”

“WHAT?!” Both Hyunjin and Felix said the word at the same time, both of their expressions mirrored right beside each other as they stared at you, their mouths agape and their eyes so wide it looked like they might fall out. “Wait… Just.. Hold on a second!” Hyunjin stammered, his arms going up in defense as everyone in the room started to get more angry. “You’re… You’re saying… The baby is mine?!”

You let out a sigh of disbelief, your hand running shakily through your hair, but Hyunjin couldn’t seem to take his eyes off your stomach that was rounded out, like a volleyball was placed under your shirt. It’s not like he had never seen a pregnant woman before, but to see the woman that he was head over heels in love with, pregnant… it was something that he couldn’t wrap his mind around, especially now that he knew the baby was his. “I just want to go… I want to go home…” You whimpered to your best friend who had her arm wrapped protectively around your waist.

“No! No wait!” Hyunjin practically screamed when you started to turn around, his hand reaching out to grab your upper arm and keep you from moving any further. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why would you just walk out? Were you just going to… hide it… from me?” His voice got softer, wavering a little as his eyes glassed over, finally looking at you, and the prominent frown on your face had his heart aching even more.

“Stop pretending… Stop… Hyunjin, you already knew.” The words came out as a single breath, exhausted already from the back and forth of it all. “You didn’t have to tell me… I knew why you left. You saw the test in the bin… You didn’t even want to talk about it. You left… You didn’t tell me you loved me, and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been… It still hurts…” You never turned around to face him, but he didn’t need to see your face to know that you were holding your breath, your cheeks slightly puffed out, something that he always found to be adorable, but now that it was because of him, he was devastated. You didn’t want him to see you cry, you didn’t want him to hear that you were choked up, but he knew…

It wasn’t making sense though. “Y/N…” He whispered your name, stepping closer, feeling the glares of everyone around him, but it didn’t stop him. He wouldn’t hesitate. Even if you didn’t want to get back with him, even if nothing was fixed by this conversation… “I would never leave… Not because of this. If I knew… I would have sat down and talked to you about it… I would have… I would have done things differently. I was stupid, but not because I found out you were pregnant. I was stupid because I was stressed, I was so tired from work and… I thought that I had made a mistake before… But now I can see how big that mistake was. I didn’t just lose you… I lost you and… and my baby…” He needed you to know that everything, every thought that had been filling your head about what you thought had happened, that it was wrong.

Even still, you didn’t turn around, but your shoulders slumped and he could see the deep breath that you took when they raised back up. “You didn’t even call me… I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. You don’t know the hell that I went through… To try to get over you… And I still haven’t. I don’t think I ever will because… I’ll always have her as a constant reminder of you… And I hate that, but I’d never hate her for being born by a father who couldn’t have cared less.”

Those words hurt, they hurt more than anything else you had said, because you truly thought that low of him. “You think I don’t care?” He questioned, and you finally turned around, your mascara running down your cheeks with every tear that spilled over, and you simply nodded. “You’re wrong… I care more than you know. I can’t sleep at night… Because I fucked up so bad… And now I have… I have a daughter…” His voice broke, his head falling back and his adams apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly, trying to remove the lump from his throat. “Now that I know… I don’t… What am I supposed to do? I’m not just going to… Move on and… And act like I don’t have a child… Like I’m not still in love with you…”

“Hyunjin stop…” You muttered, your head shaking as your eyes dropped to the ground. “What do you think saying all this is going to do, huh? If it wasn’t for Chae… I don’t know what I would have done. I would have had to do all this by myself… Because… Because fine, you didn’t know I was pregnant… But you still walked out on me. You put your job before me, above me… You always have…”

“I know…” Hyunjins head solemnly nodded, you were right, it had been one of the constant arguments that the two of you would have been he still had you, but he had been too blind to see that it would be his biggest downfall. “I know I did, and I regret it, and I’ll regret it even more now. I’ve changed though… And I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know what I want to happen. I want to be a part of her life… Whether what I want happens or not… Can I at least have that…?”

///

“So… You’re still single… I’m still single… I don’t know what you’re holding off for…” Hyunjin teased as he helped you hang the banner across the wall. “We’re great at coparenting… I mean, can you imagine what it would be like if we were one unit? We’d be unstoppable. We’d be the coolest parents ever! Not to mention, the hottest parents at school pickup when she’s older.”

You rolled your eyes. He always managed to find a way to have some sort of variation of the same conversation every single time he came over. He was relentless. “Mm… Don’t fix what’s not broken, haven’t you heard that saying before?” You chimed, stretching up on your toes to try to even out the banner that he seemed to put just high enough for you not to reach on purpose. He stepped behind you, his breath hitting your neck and sending shivers down your spine as he grabbed your end and hung it for you. “You’re such a dork…” You mumbled as you turned around, your breath catching in your throat when you realized just how close his face was to yours.

“And I’m once again asking if I could be your dork… again…” He smiled hopefully, his head tilted to the side, and although you had admitted to yourself multiple times already that you still loved him, that he was the only man that you’d ever be able to love, that you wanted nothing more than to get back with him… There was always going to be that part of you that worried about him going back to the way he used to be. Going through it once was enough, and you had come to terms that yeah, maybe part of it was your fault for jumping to conclusions and leaving the way you had, but he had been in the wrong as well, and you refused to go through that again, especially now that you had a child to protect as well.

“But you are my dork…” His eyes lit up momentarily, and you giggled lightly, taking the momentary lapse of attention as a way to slip away. “I still have to put up with your antics almost daily, and you’re over my apartment every day.” He was following you around now as you straightened the decorations that had already been resituated a million times today. “Did you get the cake?” You turned to look at him, his pursed lips and the already guilty look on his face had you groaning loudly.

“Calm down, baby.” He cooed, and you hated how much you missed hearing him call you that. “I already got it, it’s in the fridge. Have more faith in me… I’m not an absolute pabo.” Your lips pulled into a straight line as you stared at him, but when he remained silent you snorted loudly. “What? What?! Would a pabo make such a beautiful, intelligent, silly, baby girl? Hmm? Would he?”

“Yes, yes he would.” You retorted with a giggle. “Because the pabo is very handsome, and very silly. She got her smarts from me though.” His lips pulled down into an overly dramatic pout and you playfully pushed against his chest as you shook your head. “Let me take credit for her intelligence, she’s only pretty and silly because you’re her dad. Luckily she looks a lot like you. Although we’re gonna have our work cut out for ourselves when she gets to school.”

You went to step around him, but his hands landed on your hips, stopping you from any further as he looked you in your eyes, his gaze becoming more serious. “You’re beautiful…” Everything that came out of his mouth before this could have been taken as a joke, and maybe it was all meant to be taken as a joke, but the light tone that he had been carrying the whole afternoon was gone now. “You’re so beautiful, so smart, so perfect and… and every single day I wonder if it’s going to be the last chance I have to even try to get you back… but until that day comes, I’m going to keep trying because if I’m not with you, I don’t want to be with anyone.” He took a deep breath, his arms dropping to his sides as he took a step back. “But if you ever do find someone else… Can you give me a heads up, just so I can prepare myself for the heartbreak of seeing the love of my life with some other man… Please.”

“You’re so dramatic…” You muttered, taking a step to close the space that he made between the two of you. “You don’t have to worry about that ever happening… There’s no one that can ever make me feel the way you did…” Hesitantly, you reached out to grab his hands, your thumbs brushing along his knuckles. “I’ll never want anyone but you.” Was it really smart to be admitting these things to him? Probably not. Who knew what would happen now that he knew, and you still weren’t ready for anything with him, at least not anything where it felt like your entire life was on the line. “You’re everything to me… and-“

His hands pulled away from yours, and for the split second where you couldn’t feel his touch, you panicked. Was he mad at you? No… His hands moved to cup your cheeks as he placed the softest, sweetest, most bittersweet kiss to your lips. It was everything, the sparks once again unleashed in the pits of your stomach just like the first kiss all over again. “You don’t have to explain… I know that you’re not ready… I’m just happy to hear that there’s no one else. And I’ll wait, I’ll keep waiting until you think that I’m deserving enough to be with you again.” His thumbs brushed your cheek before his hand slipped to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as his forehead rested against yours. “I love you though, only you, it’ll only ever be you…”

“The birthday girl has arrived!” Changbin announced as him and the rest of the guys walked through the front door, your daughter waddling in infront of them all, her tiny feet carrying her fast over to where you and Hyunjin stood, her tiny hands grabbing at the air in front of her until she reached the both of you. “Are we… interrupting?” Changbin questioned, eyeing you and Hyunjin suspiciously, but you both shook your heads, and you quickly wiped the few tears that had fallen before giving the guys a smile.

“Nope, you’re just in time!” You clapped your hands together, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves and looking around. Everything was perfect. “Thanks for watching her while we decorated. Was she good?” The guys all nodded, but they still looked between you and Hyunjin, the assumptions and suspicions that they had were obvious. You were just glad that at the end of the day, Hyunjin would be the one faced with the questions, not you.

“Ah! Look at my big girl! Dada missed you bunches!” Hyunjin squealed as he scooped up his daughter, spinning around with her as he peppered kisses across her face, eliciting a chorus of giggles to pour out. “Do you like? Is it pretty?” He asked as he pointed at all the decorations, walking over to all the places she pointed to and letting her grab at the balloons and the streamers.

Your heart swelled whenever you watched him with your daughter. He was a great father, he was a wonderful boyfriend when he wanted to be, and you wished that you could get rid of all the doubt and fears and hesitations that you had about him. He truly was perfect, he’s everything that you wanted. He said that he’d wait, but was it fair to keep him waiting? You didn’t even know how long it would take… Maybe someday… Someday soon… You’d be able to give him the answer he wanted, the answer that you want… But for now… For now you both could be happy like this, and for today, you’d let yourselves forget about everything and focus on your daughter and celebrate her 2nd birthday together, as parents, as a family, surrounded by all the people she loves and all the people that love her.

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scoonsalicious · 1 day

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6.1 Bucky

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sex, nudity, Bucky's lies come back to bite his ass.

Please note: I'll be taking a break from posting starting on Thursday, May 16th to focus on writing, and will resume posting on Thursday, May 23rd.

Word Count: 1.1k

Previously On...: Porn. The last chapter was porn.

A/N: Sorry, besties; not sure what happened. I set this up to post at 445 per usual, and when I came back on, I saw it still hadn't gone up, so I'm doing it manually. I apologize for this screw up!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Bucky woke the next morning in a tangle of sheets and Major. He had to pee, but he didn’t want to get up. God, he never wanted to get up. If he could stay wrapped up with her like this, for the rest of his life, he thought, he would die happy. The very idea struck him like a brick– he’d given a lot of thought to his own death over the years, but never, not once, did he ever consider the possibility that he might actually die happy until this very moment.

If she was in his life when he went, he realized, he very well could.

Major shifted in her sleep and snuggled further into Bucky’s chest with a contented sigh, and he felt his heart swell. If he wasn’t careful, at the rate his feelings were going, he was at risk of proposing to her before lunch.

After about fifteen more minutes of blissfully watching Major sleep in his arms, Bucky couldn’t hold off his bladder any longer. Gently extricating himself from Major’s embrace so as not to disturb her, he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before heading to the bathroom.

After he’d finished and washed his hands, he made his way back toward Major’s bed. As he passed by the string of clothes he’d discarded the night before, he heard a buzzing coming from his pants. He reached down and pulled his phone from his pocket, checking the caller ID.

Lily. Again.

Bucky sighed and took himself back to the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him as he accepted the call.

“Hey, Lil, what’s up?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of Major’s whirlpool tub.

“Hey, Jamie,” she said, and Bucky could immediately tell something was wrong. She sounded… off, distressed. “Listen,” she continued, “I know you and Sam probably had a late night last night, and I hate bothering you…”

“What’s wrong, Lil?” Bucky asked, growing concerned now.

“Well, I drove out to Langston Park to run the trails,” Lily began, “and I don’t know if I ran over a nail or had a slow leak, or what, but when I got back to the car, my tire was flat. I was kind of hoping you could meet me up here and help me change it?”

Bucky ran a hand over his stubble. “Shit,” he said. “You know I would in a heartbeat, Lil, but–”

“No, yeah,” Lily interrupted him. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m sure someone will drive by and I can flag them down for help–”

“Lily Anne McIntyre, you are not going to wave down a stranger and just hope that they’re not a murderer or a rapist,” Bucky said into the phone, a little louder than he intended. “Listen, I’m on my way, but I’m in the city, so it’s going to take me a little while, okay? Just… just stay in your car with the doors locked until I get there.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much, Jamie!” Lily’s voice was full of relief. “You’re my hero! I owe you, big time!”

Bucky cracked a smile. “Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Give me about forty-five minutes to get to you, okay? And remember, lock. your. doors.”

“I promise,” Lily agreed before ending the call.

Bucky stood up from the edge of the tub and went back into the bedroom and quietly put his clothes back on. Sitting down at the edge of Major’s side of the bed, he leaned down and began pressing kisses to her shoulder and collarbone until she stirred and started to stretch.

With a lazy moan that sent the blood straight to Bucky’s dick, Major sleepily blinked her eyes open. “Why are you wearing so many clothes?” she asked him, her voice seductively husky with sleep. “Come back to bed.”

Bucky wanted to. Oh god, he really, really wanted to. “I’m so sorry, sugar,” he told her, leaning down to give her a proper kiss.

“Bucky,” she laughed, pulling back from him, “I just woke up; I’m sure I have horrible morning breath.”

“Like I would ever care.” He cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers, gently running his tongue along her lips so she opened her mouth to him.

After a long moment, they broke apart, and Bucky rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t want to leave you,” he said softly. “But I’ve got to go.”

Major nuzzled her cheek against his. “So, don’t,” she murmured. “Stay.”

Bucky sighed. “I can’t. Lily’s got a flat tire; she’s waiting on me to come help her change it.”

Major let out a puff of air through her lips. “Well, give me five minutes to get dressed and I can come with you,” she offered hopefully.

“I’d love that, doll,” Bucky said, frowning, “but Lily’s still pissed off about the bar and…” he ran a hand behind his neck, suddenly realizing how stupid this was going to sound, “I haven’t told her I’ve been seeing you.”

The change that came over Major was nearly imperceptible, but Bucky clocked it, all the same. Her eyes narrowed, her shoulders tensed and she pulled back from him by a hair.

“So,” Major began slowly, “where did she think you were last night when she called you, then? You said you’d already told her what you were up to. If she didn’t know you were with me, what did she think you were doing?”

“I told her I was having a guys’ night out in the city with Sam,” Bucky admitted, hating himself now for even deeming the lie necessary in the first place.

“I see.” The words were clipped, Major’s voice void of any emotion, and Bucky knew he’d fucked up. Immensely. “Well, you better get going, then, if Lily’s waiting on you.”

“Major.” Bucky put a hand on her arm, but she got up out of the bed, dragging the topsheet with her to wrap around herself and keep her body covered from him, as if now, suddenly, after everything they’d already done together, she no longer wanted him to see her naked. “Can we just–”

“You should go, Bucky,” she said again, not meeting his eye, and Bucky felt like absolute shit.

“Can I call you later?” he asked, and he heard the note of desperation in his own voice, but Major just shrugged a shoulder. He tried to lean in to her to give her a kiss goodbye, but she stood there, still as a statue, so he simply pressed his lips to her forehead and sighed before showing himself to the door.

He’d fucked up. He’d fucked up, and he’d blown it. She’d probably never want to see him again, and honestly, could he blame her? He’d lied about being with her, like she was some kind of dirty secret. Sam had been right, though Bucky would never admit it to him. Why was he letting Lily’s opinion dictate how he lived his life?

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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dinogoofymutated · 1 day

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may i pretty please request a wolverine x reader where he gets super clingy when he’s tired and he’s just so soft with the reader following her around like a little puppy until she agrees to go to finally go to bed so they can cuddle and sleep and it’s just 🥹🥹🥹🥹

Wolverine/GN!Reader THIS!!! I absolutely love soft Logan and having this big, rageing machine of a man turn into an absolute puppy when he's sleepy and in love UGH. I need him to be real RN so we can go get married and live happily ever after in the mountains I stg Sorry that this one is kinda short. It's really fluffy and I hope yall enjoy! TWs: None! Reader is written pictuing fem but no pronouns mentioned.

You woke up a little while ago with the striking revelation that you had completely forgotten to finish grading exams. Sure, you could have waited till the morning, but you had become restless. At this point, the only thing that was gonna help you fall back asleep was to just get it over with.

You let out a sigh as you finish another exam, moving on to the next one in the stack. You remember when you had first joined the X-men, expecting it to all be adventures and saving people from immediate threats- you never would have expected to be where you are now. The thought makes you laugh a little bit. You, a teacher? Oh, how times have changed. For the better, but changed nonetheless. The door to your classroom creaks open slowly, and you look over to see Logan. His eyes are half closed as he shuffles over to you, leaning over the back of your chair to wrap his arms around your shoulders and set his chin atop your head.

“Come back to bed, baby.” Logan rumbles. You rub one of his arms back and forth with one of your hands as you continue to write with the other.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” You ask. Logan only hums from above you, adjusting his head to press his cheek against your hair. You know what he means, even if he won't admit it.

“Okay, well just give me a moment and I’ll get back in bed with you, okay?” You tell him, admittedly feeling a little guilty for disturbing his sleep. Logan doesn’t respond, and instead begins to move to the other side of your chair.

“Logan?” You call his name curiously as he begins to sit down on the floor next to you. He huffs as he leans his head against your thighs, practically using your lap as a pillow.

“I’ll stay here, thanks.” He says, and you can't help but laugh a little.

“Logan, There is no way that’s comfortable.” You protest, but he simply shrugs, closing his eyes as he nuzzles into your lap.

“ ‘ve been through worse.” Logan sighs, and you swear you’re smiling so hard your cheeks hurt. You can’t help but shake your head at him anyway, writing a graded letter on the latest exam before moving it over again.

“You’re actually ridiculous, you know that?” Logan only hums in response to you, his breathing beginning to slow as you run a hand through his hair. The two of you sit like that for a while, and although you do feel bad about how uncomfortable it must be for him to sit down there like that, Logan doesn’t complain. You rub your eyes when you’ve finally finished grading the last exam, setting it neatly on your desk with the others. You’re ready to finally get up from that god-forsaken seat, but the weight in your lap is keeping you from doing so. When you look down, it’s clear to see that Logan has fully fallen asleep in your lap. You try to keep yourself from smiling too hard as you brush your hand across his shoulders and try to wake him up.

“Logan.” You call for him gently, and all he does is grunt in a sleepy way. “Come on, I’m gonna get a glass of water and then I’ll meet you in bed.” You shake him just a tad bit rougher, and Logan grunts again, slowly blinking his eyes open as he sits up. You run your hand through his hair one more time before standing. You wait for him at the door of the classroom, giving him a kiss on his cheek before you turn in the opposite direction, headed towards the kitchen. At first, you think you’re hearing things, but after a few more heavy steps from behind you, you turn around and are face to face with a sleepy, grumpy, Logan. You look at him in disbelief.

“I’m not going far. I’m just getting a drink and I’ll meet you in bed?” You can’t believe that he’s still trailing behind you, looking like a lost puppy. He almost pouts at you. Logan Howlett, the one and only Wolverine, pouting at you over something so silly.

“Lo. You cannot be serious.” You say, once again trying your best not to laugh. Logan huffs at you, walking forward to take your hand before he’s leading you to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

“You’ll get over it.” He grumbles. The walk to the kitchen to get water is just as quick as you thought it would be, if not a little longer due to Logan being stuck to your side the whole time, being built wide like a fridge and being in the way no matter what with how close he was. He’s got his arm draped over you on the way back to bed, refusing to be less than three inches away from you at all times. You hardly have time to lock the door to your shared room before he’s grabbing you by the waist and tugging you under the covers. God, he was so ridiculous like this and you love him so much for it. It takes a moment for you to get settled under the covers, Logan’s hold on you being equivalent to being held in a steel cage and leaving very little room for movement.

When you turn to tell him goodnight, he’s already fast asleep. You lean in and kiss him goodnight anyway, and you swear that you see him smile unconsciously before you tuck yourself into his chest, finally resting in his comforting and secure arms.

#Pure fluff yall come and get your juice #x men 97 #x men #x men comics #x men headcannons #x men 97 x reader #wolverine #x men wolverine #x men x reader #wolverine headcannons #wolverine x reader #logan howlett headcannons #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett #wolverine and the x men

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blue-jisungs · 2 days

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hey, how are you doing ?? hope you’re doing well !! 🎀🩷

i just wanted to ask if you can write a comfort fic with Jiung from p1h 🥺 everything is up to you i’ve been having hard times for the last few months and i’m just keep reading your works so i wanna say thank you, you really helped me get through this time ❤️‍🩹

just sleeping

# author's note ... sorry for such a long wait but actually we were twinning and i was going through some stuff too 😭 i hope you enjoy this tho <3 i hope you’re doing better now and i’m happy my silly little writing could help you cheer up, even a bit 🫂❤️‍🩹

# summary ... jiung enjoys every moment with you, even if it’s just a nap

# warnings ... mention of throwing up (but in a joking way), might seem a little suggestive but only if u squint ++ whole p1h cameo because i love them so much:(

# word count ... 1085

entering the dorm with keeho and intak, jiung is surprised at how quiet the place is.

“now that’s suspicious…” keeho giggled and three boys took off their shoes and put away their jackets.

bags rustling in their hands, they walked up to the living room. the soft sound of mario kart music echoed in the room but… the game seemed far forgotten.

“is anyone there?” intak asked quietly and jiung stepped closer, heart swelling in his chest upon the sight in front of his eyes.

you were sitting in the middle of the couch, shota and jongseob resting their heads on your lap. taeyang was awkwardly resting his head against the youngests’, hands wrapped around your legs… and his bottom part of the body uncomfortably on the floor.

keeho cooed and whipped out his phone, capturing this cute moment.

“what is that supposed to mean!” jiung grunted dramatically, noticing three gaming controllers messily thrown on the ground and a book of yours.

“they fell asleep, you should be grateful” your sleepy murmur caught their attention.

your tired gaze met your boyfriend’s curious eyes and you sent him a lopsided smile.

“what even happened here?” keeho laughed softly and started to pick up the controllers from the ground.

“well shota and seob were playing games, suddenly seob leaned against me so i started scratching his head. and then shota wanted too… and then tae came and protested that he wants too but welp, he didn’t fit on the couch so…” you chuckled, careful not to wake them up.

“idiots” jiung crossed his arms and noticed the sleepiness lingering in your gaze.

he knew that for the past few weeks (if not longer!) you’ve been struggling with work and academic stuff. on top of that, you were exhausted mentally, struggling with socializing and finding happiness in even your favorite hobbies.

and yet… here you are, hanging out with his friends… scratching their heads and letting them asleep on you.

“okay, enough of this. y/nnie, i bought something for you” your boyfriend hummed and poked theo’s arm.

“yeah, you must be pretty cramped up” intak sighed and shook the youngest’s shoulders.

you gently tucked shota’s hair behind his ear and woke him up with a soft tap on his back.

“what is it?” he yawned, sitting up. his hair was sticking in every direction, causing you all to laugh. the vibrations of your body stirred jongseob awake completely.

“my body…” theo groaned, massaging his neck. his eyes widened upon seeing the rest of the members being back “hi there”

“oh she has you all in a chokehold” keeho grinned and nudged jiung.

“did you even sleep?” seob asked you quietly, smacking away intak’s hands. you nodded, even though it wasn’t fully true. you were sleepy, sure, but you didn’t nap like them.

“okay, let’s make some food” intak clapped his hands, the youngests’ ears perking up.

once they were off you, you stretched your arms with a pleasant hum.

“how was the shopping, baby?” you asked jiung, who walked up behind you. then, you felt his warm hands on your neck and arms. massaging your sore muscles gently, you let your hands drop (and your neck too) “that’s nice…”

“we bought some clothes, intak bought some lego. i saw a cute hoodie and thought you’d like it so…” he wanted to go and show it to you but he noticed the way your arms relaxed. his thumb pressing in the middle of your neck. a groan ripped out of your throat, causing the boys in the kitchen to laugh.

“ew, disgusting!”

“i’ll show you the hoodie later, okay? and how was your day?” jiung ignored them, fingers working their way to the side of your neck. the pressure was a bit tough but in a pleasant way.

“fine… boring… missed you. so, nothing new… oh, right here, please” you hummed, letting out a small sigh when he stumbled upon a certain spot. he smiled and continued on.

“i’m literally gonna throw up, can you take this somewhere private?” theo snickered.

“ugh, intak, we’ll have to stay out of the dorm for a while” keeho sighed dramatically and you shot your head up, glaring at him “joking! joking…”

“c’mere, ji. they are just haters…” you mumbled and turned around, kneeling on the couch. wrapping your hands around his neck, you pecked his lips in a playful manner.

“ew! okay, sorry! just go!” keeho laughed, amused by the situation. the truth was, he just wanted you two to have some privacy – especially considering that you haven’t seen each other for the whole day.

you leaned away from jiung and stood up, grabbing your long forgotten book. after leaving it on the coffee table, he grabbed your hand gently and the bag in other.

entering his shared room, you looked around. the window was open, a nice breeze sneaking in.

“here, try it on” jiung leaned down and handed you the cloth. the hoodie was really cute – exactly how you liked it. it fit perfectly too.

you spun dramatically and posed.

“and?” you asked. jiung was observing you, smitten. a cocky smile was blooming on his lips.

“it’s perfect. what do you think, though?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

“it doesn’t smell like you yet. other than that, i love it. thank you, baby” you hummed and placed a kiss on his cheek.

jiung melted upon the sweet gesture. everything you did caused his heart rate to speed up, even after almost two years of dating.

“how was your day?” jiung asked and you fought a yawn, nodding.

“as usual… do you wanna take a nap? those rascals didn’t really let me sleep… taeyang talks awfully a lot of things in his sleep, did you know that?” you giggled and before he answered, you already hopped into his bed, burying yourself in the blankets.

spotting the plushie you bought for him ages ago, you grabbed it and pressed to your chest.

“i’m no fun, am i? just sleeping all day” you giggled, a spark of guilt in your eyes. jiung shook his head and in a blink of an eye was next to you, arms wrapping around you securely.

“i was tired too. besides, i don’t mind if i sleep or go bungee jumping. as long as you’re with me, i’ll enjoy everything” he hummed and pressed a tender kiss on your cheek bone. melting into the gesture (and because of his words), your eyes began to close.

masterlist <3

taglist. @primoppang ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @mon2sunjinsuver ,, @litepowee

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tortillamastersblog · 3 days

Text

ⴵ My Best Friend’s Little Sister | Yelena Belova ⴵ

Pairing: Yelena Belova x reader

Warnings: steamy scene (no smut), blood, major injuries and ANGST

Summary: Telling your best friend Natasha about your relationship with her sister doesn’t go as planned.

________________________________________________

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and place one last kiss to the inside of Yelena’s thigh before moving up her twitching body.

She’s panting and flushed in the best way possible and when I come into view above her, her hand finds its way to the back of my neck and pulls me into a kiss.

Her other hand roams over my shoulder and chest, continuing down across my ribs until it settles on the small of my back.

“My God,” she mumbles against my lips, “You are amazing.”

I chuckle and pull back to look at her. “You always say that.”

Yelena’s smile mirrors my own, her eyes sparkling with adoration. “Because it’s true.”

I brush some hair off her sweaty forehead, enjoying the way she brushes her fingers over my lower back. “So are you,” I say quietly, vulnerability seeking into my voice. “You’re amazing.”

She’s not just amazing, she’s absolutely breathtaking. Since we started dating over a year ago she’s had this overwhelming grip on my heart. To say I didn’t love her would be a straight up lie, but we haven’t said that to each other yet and I’m waiting for her to say it first.

Her past has made her wary of anyone and everything, so I’m giving her the choice of whether or not she wants to take what we have to the next level.

So, for now, all I can do is repeat her sentiments back to her and hope that she somehow knows what I actually want to say.

Her green eyes dart between mine, tender and affectionate as always, but now there’s something new in them. For just a second her lips part and I think she might say something but then she just smiles again.

The tiniest bit of disappointment spreads in the pit of my stomach, but I ignore it when I remember why I snuck into her room in the first place.

I peck her lips, one, two, three times, making her giggle and settle down next to her. She turns and lays her head on my chest, her leg curling over my hips.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking and—“ I shift awkwardly as I run my fingers through her hair “— I know we talked about this before, but I really think Nat should know about us.”

Yelena stiffens but stays quiet, so I continue.

“She’s my best friend and I just— I hate keeping things from her, especially when they make me happy.“ I take the hand she’s rested on my stomach and press a kiss to her knuckles. “You make me happy, Yelena. So fucking much, and I’m tired of hiding that.”

How we’ve managed to keep our relationship a secret from Natasha all this time is still a mystery to me, but since the very start of it, the guilt of it has been eating away at me.

I wanted to tell her from day one, but Yelena insisted we keep it between the two of us. Why? I’m not entirely sure, but I respect her wishes. Since it’s been over a year since then though, I think it’s time to come clean.

“Yelena?” I nudge her, waiting nervously for a response.

Yelena sighs and sits up. She grabs the sheet and pulls it up to cover herself. “Y/N…”

I know she’s about to shut me down, but this is important to me, so I say, “Please, baby. She’s my best friend and your sister. Why don’t you want her to know?” I sit up as well and place my hand on her knee over the sheet.

“She’ll hate me for stealing you,” she whisperers after a moment of silence.

“Yelena…” I squeeze her hand and dip my head to catch her eye. “Nat could never hate you. Besides, I think she’d kick my ass long before ever thinking of kicking yours, I mean, I’m her best friend and I’m sleeping with her little sister. That’s like the biggest no-no in a friendship; Never go for the younger sibling.”

Yelena cracks the tiniest of smiles and takes my hand off her knee and interlaces her fingers with mine. “You’re not just sleeping with me though,” she argues lightly.

“No I’m not. We’re dating which is even more reason to tell her. Don’t you think she’d be happy for you? For us?” I counter argue, scooting closer so our legs are touching.

Shaking her head, Yelena sighs softly. “No, of course she’d be happy, but—It’s not just that.”

My eyebrows furrow and I tilt my head in question. “Then what is it?” I probe gently.

Green eyes find mine and I’m surprised to find something akin to shame in them.

“Hey, what is it?” I whisper, scooting even closer so I can press a kiss to her forehead.

Yelena drops the sheet and snakes her free hand to the back of my neck where she plays with my baby hairs, here eyes dropping as she admits, “It’s silly, but…this is the first thing I’ve ever had that is truly my own. Something I haven’t had to share with her. I just— I don’t want to lose that.”

I pout at her words and squeeze her hand. “Baby, hey… Please, look at me.”

Hesitantly, she raises her eyes again and I try my best to look reassuring when I say, “I get that. Trust me, I do. But you aren’t going to lose this–” I gesture between us with my free hand–“if we tell her. You aren’t going to lose me.”

Yelena bites her bottom lip and blinks rapidly to get rid of the tears that have appeared in her eyes. “Okay,” she says finally, nodding. She opens her eyes and smiles weakly. “Okay, let’s tell her.”

I beam and surge forward to press a kiss to her lips. It’s so fast that Yelena yelps in surprise before kissing back. Our intertwined hands disconnect and her free hand joins her other hand at the back of my neck.

We kiss feverishly, her tongue running over my bottom lip until I grant her access, and I use my super soldier-strength (I have Hydra to thank for that) to pick her up and get out of bed.

On instinct, her legs wrap around my waist and her grip on my neck tightens.

“Let’s—“ Kiss. “Tell her—“ Kiss. “After the mission—“ Another kiss. “Tomorrow.”

Yelena hums and I take that as a yes, so I start carrying her to the bathroom. “Shower?” I ask against her lips and, again, she just nods.

I laugh lightly and resume the kiss, barely even making it to the shower as Yelena’s lips start traveling down my neck.

Ducking behind a wall, I reload my gun and catch my breath. The deafening sound of gunfire surrounding us is making my hands shake and it takes me three times to insert the new magazine into the gun.

My mind is on the mission: secure the warehouse, grab the hostages, and get out.

The same can’t be said for Natasha, who’s crouching beside me. She raises a hand to the collar of my suit and tugs it down, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “Well, well, well. Look what we’ve go here.”

My head snaps around and I slap her hand away. “What?”

Natasha laughs, obviously not phased by the ongoing fight. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Incredulous and confused as to what she’s referring to I raise an eyebrow. “Tell you what?”

Poking my neck with her finger, which I slap away once more, Natasha states, “You’re seeing someone!”

Judging by the blank look on my face, Natasha figures that I still don’t know what she’s talking about. She rolls her eyes and points at her own neck. “You’ve got a hickey and because I know you’re not one to hook up, you must be seeing someone.”

My cheeks heat up instantly and I choke in surprise. “I— What? No!”

Damn it, Yelena.

We agreed on no hickeys in visible places. Looks like she got a bit too carried away last night.

“Yes you do!” Natasha exclaims, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Who is it? Oh, don’t tell me it’s Bucky. I thought you said you didn’t like him?”

“What—No! It’s not Bucky!” I screech, bewildered. “Why would you even— You know what? Never mind, let’s just focus on the mission.”

Natasha whines. “Nooo, come on. Tell me!”

I look around the wall to make sure the coast is clear, before turning back and hissing, “Not now!”

“Fine,” Natasha shoots back. “But you have to tell me later.”

I sigh and roll my eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Now let’s go. You take the ground floor. I’ll take the stairwell.“

Natasha smirks and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. I fight the urge to shove her and get going, entering the warehouse with a deathly grip on the handle of my gun.

The warehouse is run down and the smell of damp concrete and moss is almost overwhelming. Every window has been busted and the bricks of the walls are beginning to chip.

I continue up the stairs with my gun raised, ready to shoot, until I make it to the top level. There’s no one in sight, so I press a finger to the comms piece in my ear and ask, “Any sign of the hostages, Steve?”

“Negative.”

I huff in frustration, trying to ignore the gunfire that is still going on outside and downstairs.

I make my way past some abandoned offices and turn a couple of corners before getting to the spider web of metal walkways that stretches over the largest, main storage room.

I set a tentative foot onto one of the metal grates and put pressure on it. It creaks ominously and I retract my foot, knowing it’s not safe to walk on.

I’m about to turn around when there’s a grunt and then a thud to my left.

I spin around just in time to see Yelena and one of the Hydra agents crash through a metal door and stumble onto the walkway.

The metal groans under the load and my eyes widen. It could give out any moment and I can’t imagine watching Yelena fall to her death.

I want to shout and tell her to get off the walkway, but that would distract her and give the Hydra agent a chance to beat her.

I raise my gun and aim at the dark figure who’s driving Yelena backward and further onto the walkway with the force of his blows. It’s of no use though because I can’t get a clear shot with all the movement and I can’t risk hitting Yelena.

It seems as though she’s got everything under control though because after taking a few more hits she recovers and retaliates with such a strong kick, it knocks the Hydra agent off his feet. But then a second one bursts through a door to my right, his eyes landing on Yelena’s back.

He doesn’t see me and raises his gun in a flash. I want to scream, but he’s already pulled the trigger. My eyes squeeze shut in horror, but nothing happens.

When I dare to look again, the agent is examining his gun. He tries to fire again, but it’s quickly apparent he doesn’t have any bullets left, so he tosses the gun aside.

I raise my own gun again and aim it at him. Before I can do anything though, he pulls a knife from one of his pockets and takes off in a sprint across the walkway.

My stomach drops and without thinking I leap onto the walkway myself. “Yelena!”

She’s too busy with the other agent who’s managed to get back on his feet, so I focus on the second agent.

He still hasn’t noticed me, so I push myself harder. I have to get to him before he gets to Yelena. My ears are ringing and my feet are pounding on the creaking metal, but I keep pushing.

“Yelena, look out!” I try one more time and this time she turns around, her eyes widening.

The second agent is only a couple of steps away from her and raises his arm, ready to bring the knife down on her.

He never gets the chance though because with a final push I leap forward and tackle him. We fall and hit the metal grate with an ear splitting crack.

Then, the falling doesn’t stop.

“Y/N!” The cry is heartbreaking and I close my eyes at the look of pure horror and disbelief on Yelena’s face.

My stomach swoops like it does on a rollercoaster, and for a moment it feels like I’m flying.

But what is it they say? L’important, ce n’est pas la chute; c’est l’atterrissage.

I hit the ground hard. For a moment, everything seems to be fine. Then, it hits me like a train. Everything hurts. I can’t move and every breath burns in my lungs.

No normal human could have survived a fall from such a height. Good thing I have the super-soldier serum in me.

I try to move and get up. I have to find Yelena. I have to make sure she’s safe. As soon as I even just try to move my leg though, a blinding pain shoots through my body.

I whimper, not being strong enough to do much more, and glance down.

My heart sinks at the sight of a broken metal pole sticking out of my thigh. It’s rusty and now covered in blood.

What makes matters even worse is that it’s not the only one. There’s another going right through my stomach, and another one through my chest, close to my shoulder.

The sight is dizzying and I close my eyes for a moment. I’m still fighting to get enough air into my lungs, but it’s getting harder with each breath.

This can’t be it. This can’t be how it ends.

I’ve been in similar situations. None of them were this bad though. I can feel my body trying to heal itself, but I know not even the serum will be able to get me out of this one.

A tear rolls down the side of my face and I cough again as blood begins to trickle out of the side of my mouth.

This was supposed to be an easy mission. I can’t believe everything went so wrong. I just know that I’d do all of it again if it meant Yelena was safe.

At the thought of Yelena, my eyes snap open again. Everything is blurry, but I can make out that she’s no longer on the walkways.

Panicking, I try one more time to get up, but the pain that shoots through me almost instantly is so intense, I scream and fall back down.

No… I can’t leave before telling her I love her. She has to know. I should have told her. I can’t believe I haven’t told her.

Movement to my left makes me panic even more because I figure it’s one of the Hydra agents who’s come to finish me.

I feel around for my gun, but all I can get a hand on is a loose pole. It’ll just have to do because I sure as hell won’t be going out without a fight.

When the person finally comes into sight though, I cry in relief and drop the pole.

She lowers her own weapon when she recognizes me and rushes over, her hands settling on my chest and stomach close to the poles. “Oh my God, Y/N.”

I choke back my tears and take one of her hands. “I’m sorry,” I whisper desperately. “I’m so sorry, Nat.”

Natasha’s watery eyes connect with mine and she shakes her head adamantly. “No, no, no. Hey! Don’t you dare give up on me.” She raises a hand to her ear and says, “Tony, we need an EVAC immediately. Y/N’s down in the main storage area.”

I don’t hear Tony’s response because my comms device broke when I landed. The look on Natasha’s face is all I need to know that he won’t be able to get here on time though.

She desperately clutches my hand to her chest and scoots closer, wiping the blood off my chin. “We’re going to get you out of here,” she says and I know she’s saying it to soothe herself, not me.

“Nat,” I wheeze. It’s almost impossible to breathe now and all I want to do is close my eyes, but she needs so know. “Please—“

A violent cough cuts me off and I wince when I settle back down and see tiny specks of blood on Natasha’s face.

“No, don’t talk. You have to save your strength. You have to—“

I shake my head frantically and ignore the tears that continue to spill from my eyes. “Please, Nat… Tell her—“

Another cough and this time when I settle back down, it’s as though my body finally stopped fighting. The pain has been reduced to a dull ache and my eyelids are growing heavier with each second that passes.

Natasha notices too and pushes down on my stomach next to the pipe to stop the bleeding. “No, no, no! You’re staying right here with me. Don’t you dare close your eyes. You hear me?!”

I honestly don’t care about making it out alive anymore because at this point I know it’s impossible. I do need Yelena to know how I truly feel about her though, so I resist the urge to close my eyes and tighten my weakening grip on Natasha’s hand. “Tell, Y-Yelena,” I stutter. “Promise m-me you’ll tell her…”

Natasha frowns in confusion and abandons her task of stopping the bleeding. “Tell Yelena what?” she asks desperately.

Her eyes meet mine and for a moment the confusion remains in them. Then, as if on cue, they widen and understanding dawns on her. “Yelena?” she asks with a sob and I nod with a weak smile.

“Please, Nat…” I whisper. It’s barely audible, but Nat hears.

New tears spring to her eyes and she bites her lip to suppress another sob. “What do you want me to tell her?”

My lips part, ready to spill the truth about my feelings, but in the end nothing comes out.

“What do you want me to tell her?” Natasha repeats, shaking me.

I want to reply, I just can’t do it.

There’s no more air left in my lungs and my eyelids are starting to droop. It’s peaceful and I barely register my hand going limp in Natasha’s.

“No, come on, Y/N!” she screams, but it’s muffled and in the end I no longer resist the urge to close my eyes. “No…” Nat sobs but it sounds like she’s miles away.

Then another voice calls my name and the familiarity of it makes me smile.

I love you…

________________________________________________

Found this in my drafts and decided to finish it.

Part 5 of No Matter What is in the works…

#x reader #angst #angst no happy ending #yelena belova x reader #yelena x reader #yelena belova #marvel #mcu

60 notes · View notes

ilyrafe · 5 hours

Text

𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 ✧ 𝒓. 𝒄.

pairing: rafe cameron x f!reader

warnings: brief sexual innuendo, rafe being a softie!!!!

word count: 2.6k (i *might* have gotten carried away i'm so sorry lol)

a/n: this is a sequel to late night and also based on this, so thanks @keziahcore ! your mind is literally everything!

it’s almost like a sixth sense.

rafe feels your absence from the bed, and immediately becomes agitated. he turns on the lamp next to his bed and looks for any sign that you’re still there, and finds your small handbag on the armchair, which makes him just slightly relieved.

when he looks at the clock, he sees that it is almost two in the morning. the bathroom door is ajar and the lights are off, which means you’re not there. before he can leave his room looking for you, you return, holding a glass of water, wearing only his shirt to cover yourself up.

“where were you? why did you leave me here?”

he can’t control this agony, this anguish that always catches him off guard when he finds himself alone. he can’t help feeling like a time bomb, ready to explode at any moment. the smallest things you do seem to trigger him massively, and he hates that. he hates that he ends up being rude and harsh to you, because you’re always so understanding and sweet.

even he knows he doesn’t deserve you.

“i was thirsty and went downstairs to drink some water.” your tone is sweet and calm, which makes him feel like shit.

his face changes, as he seems to calm down. you didn’t leave him, you just went to get some water. you’re there, your stuff is there, you’re not going anywhere.

“next time, leave a glass here. i don’t like it when you do that.” he says in a much softer tone, but he’s still upset that his sleep got interrupted.

“do what? get hydrated?” you joke, trying to lighten up his mood.

he rolls his eyes and huffs. don’t make him tell the truth.

“go back to bed. i’m tired, alright? i had a long day.”

“actually, i was going to read a book. i’m not sleepy and i don’t want to lie down right now.”

is it so hard to understand that he wants you to be close to him so that he feels safe enough to get a decent night’s sleep?

“you can read on the bed.”

“you won’t mind the lamp on?”

“no, just get the damn book and come back to bed.”

you laugh and nod, picking up the book from his desk and following him to his bed. rafe gets to his spot and as you sit down, he places one hand on your bare thigh and falls back to sleep almost immediately.

while he dives deep into his necessary rest, you start reading. it’s that book, in cold blood by truman capote. you don’t know if rafe is a reader, he never really talks about books with you.

every once in a while, you look down at your thighs to see his hand, firmly holding you, to make sure you won’t leave. this small gesture makes you feel stupid. stupid to believe he might feel something other than lust for you. rafe makes you question your beliefs and that itself makes you feel overwhelmed.

sometimes you want to leave, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. and you have tried countless times. he’s good for you in the same intensity he’s bad. to say you’re scared to ask him what you are would be an understatement, but you just would like some clarification, because you don’t beg the people you’re casually fucking to stay the night almost every night and throw a tantrum when they leave to get some water.

deep down, you know you’re more scared to hear you’re just an easy fuck. at this point, this would tear you apart.

being with rafe is a challenge. it’s like running a marathon you know you will not get to the finish line, and yet, you keep running.

when it’s almost four in the morning, you close the book and turn the lamp off. finally, sleep comes to you, and you settle into his bed, still holding rafe’s hand, which never left your thigh. with the touch, rafe wakes up, and this time he is no longer agitated.

“sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” you say, as you snuggle into the mattress.

“you- what time is it?” he asks, adorably confused and sleepy.

“it’s almost four.”

“and you’re going to sleep now?”

“yeah. go back to sleep, it’s early.” you say softly, placing a hand on his cheek, and he complies, pulling you close.

(...)

rafe’s alarm clock rings promptly at seven in the morning. he turns it off and goes back to his previous position: hugging you.

your hair smells like coconut and your skin is always soft. he never wants to not be touching you. it’s like your body was made to be next to his. for some reason, just your presence is enough to make him feel calm and at peace.

he places the softest kiss on your shoulder, enjoying the quietness that only early mornings can give him. the sweet sound of birds chirping outside makes him forget about everything else. rafe only has you in his mind (and in his arms).

you wake up and soon turn to face him. rafe has the most adorable sleepy face, and you might never stop melting over him. seeing him up close will never not be amazing. he’s the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. he probably has the most beautiful shade of blue in his eyes.

“go back to sleep.” he whispers.

“‘m not sleepy anymore.” you mumble as you rub your eyes, which rafe finds captivating. “hi.”

“hi,” he smiles. “you only slept for three hours, sleep some more.” he insists, and you feel a tone of concern in his voice, but maybe it’s just your sleep giving you that impression.

“i’m okay, rafey.”

rafey. he hates that stupid nickname, but when it comes out of your mouth, he wants to legally change his name to it.

“you’re gonna be tired.”

“no, i’m not. i don’t normally sleep a lot.”

rafe frowns not because he’s confused - he obviously isn’t. he’s just not liking what you’re saying. he doesn’t like the idea of you struggling with whatever that may be. rafe knows damn well how bad it is to be sleep deprived, he doesn’t want you going through that.

“you have insomnia?”

“i guess i do,” you shrug. “i don’t really know. i just don’t sleep a lot. i wish i did, though. i get so jealous when i see you sleeping for hours on end.” you smile sweetly at him. “you’re so relaxed. must be nice…”

you let go of rafe after leaving a timid kiss on his lips, and stretch before getting up and going to his bathroom to start your morning routine.

after a quiet breakfast, rafe gives you a ride home, and he can’t hide his concern about what you said.

“i’ll see you around, yeah?” you tell him, with the sweetest smile you always have.

“of course. uh, about that sleep thing… if you need help with that… i’m here.”

“rafe, i think you might be a sex addict.” you joke, really not understanding what he meant. he isn’t talking about sex. the one time he isn’t talking about sex, you don’t get it.

“well, i’m just one call away.”

you chuckle and intend to kiss his cheek, but rafe is quick enough to turn his face and make you kiss his lips. you laugh at his antics.

silly rafe is your favorite. if only other people got to see this side of him.

he watches you leave his car and get inside your home. the strange feeling of loneliness comes back almost immediately, but it gets him thinking. it has to be some sort of irony that the person that quite literally helps him sleep isn’t sleeping.

(...)

only two days have passed and rafe already needs you to spend the night at his house again. he is so tired and exhausted. he takes out his phone and quickly types a message.

rafe: are u busy right now? can i pick u up?

you don’t tend to take long to respond to his texts, but this time, an hour goes by and nothing, so rafe starts to feel that unbearable anguish again, and starts to think that you left him and that you found someone better to spend you time with.

impulsively, rafe facetimes you, and you answer. from your face alone, he can see the tiredness in your eyes. or rather, in your dark circles. you’re in your bedroom, which makes him feel calmer.

“hi, rafey. sorry, i just got my phone.”

“what are you doing?”

“i’m studying for my exams.”

“i just wanted to know if i could pick you up.”

“i’dd love to,” you smile. “but it’s not a good idea, i need to study and i have a mountain of books to read until tomorrow if i want a good grade, which i do.”

“you’re tired, you should rest.” he advises, visibly worried.

“nothing a can of red bull can’t fix.” you say showing him the can.

“y/n, please go to sleep.”

something about his request makes you angry. maybe it’s the stress, or the fact that this time rafe is right.

“rafe, you’re not my boss. i need to hang up, i got shit to do.”

before he can protest, you hang up the call, and surprisingly, rafe doesn’t get angry. this is what it’s like when he’s sleep deprived.

as always, rafe wants to take control of the situation, so he puts on a hoodie, grabs his car keys and leaves his house to go to yours. it’s late at night, and rafe knows your parents are probably asleep.

the path is short, and soon he arrives in front of your house and the light is on in your bedroom, which tells him that you are still up. carefully, rafe gets out of his car and walks to the back of your residence, and climbs the wall, always making sure he doesn’t get caught by anyone. finally, rafe gets on the small balcony of your room and sees you surrounded by papers, books and notebooks. it’s a mess.

he knocks on the glass door, which startles you, but you soon calm down when you see it’s him. you almost run to open the door, but your face isn’t the happiest.

“what are you doing here, rafe?”

“nice to see you, too.” he ironizes as he steps inside your bedroom. “i have a proposition for you.”

“i’m so not in the mood, rafe…”

“listen to me.” he says. “i’ll… i’ll help you out with this stuff, as long as you let me help you sleep.”

“i don’t wanna have sex.”

“i’m not talking about sex.”

oh.

“you mean… sleep? like, really sleep?”

“yeah. i don’t like that you sleep so little. you’re becoming cranky.”

you chuckle at the last bit. you can’t stay mad at him, can you?

“that’s a nice offer, rafe, but what do you know about biology?”

“i’ll have you know i was a good student.” he pouts and you laugh. “even if i don’t know what you’re studying, i’ll help you out.”

it takes you a few seconds, but it’s decided. your body is about to give out, you really need to rest. you can’t absorb any more information. a good sleep might even help you learn whatever you need.

“okay.”

rafe smiles and it might be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

you begin to organize all your notes and books on your desk and rafe begins to undress down to his underwear, and gets comfortable on your bed. he realizes this is his first time sleeping on your bed, and he already likes the faint smell of rosemary that your bedroom exudes.

you have such a pretty bedroom. the walls are painted in the softest shade of blue, and you have books everywhere. no wonder you’re so smart, you read a lot.

the wooden furniture gives an earthy feel to your room, contrasting with the delicacy of the light blue walls. in the photos of the small mural on the wall, rafe realizes that he wanted to be there, present in the photos, and maybe, in a photo with you. you are always smiling and being hugged by someone, or hugging them. you are like that, you are magnetic.

you finish organizing your things and quickly change into a shirt of rafe’s that you hope he doesn’t recognize. it’s big and comfortable, and it makes you feel close to him when he’s far away.

the lamp next to your bed is on, so you turn off the main light in your room and go to your bed, meeting rafe, and he has the smallest smile on his lips. it’s ironic how having sex and being naked doesn’t feel as intimate as simply sleeping together does.

“are your parents home?” he asks.

“no, why?”

“so i could have come through the door, huh.”

“yeah.” you laugh.

a brief moment of silence sits between you two, as you’re staring at each other’s eyes. rafe is mesmerized and terrified at the same time. this - whatever this is - feels so nice and so foreign. he knows damn well he isn’t one to want to just sleep with someone, let alone climb up a wall to just sleep with someone.

rafe cameron is in love, and he is utterly terrified.

“what are you thinking?” you ask in a whisper.

your blinks are getting slower and slower. rafe begins to run his hand through your hair, combing them back, and touching the skin of your neck and shoulders ever so softly.

thinking about how much i want to be with you and how fucking scared i am.

“nothin’. close your eyes.”

you do, not because he told you to, but because you couldn’t keep them open any longer.

why do you feel the safest with someone as dangerous as rafe cameron? someone who deals with the shadiest people around, that has anger issues and violent behavior.

that tried to drown his own sister.

why none of that matters when you’re in his arms? are you actually insane?

probably.

(...)

as soon as you wake up, you see your bed empty, and rafe’s clothes are no longer on the floor, where he had left them last night. it was to be expected, but you still feel disappointed. he was so sweet last night.

when you look at the clock, it’s already past nine in the morning, which means you’ve slept, surprisingly, eight hours straight. damn, you really were sleep deprived.

the sound of your stomach begging for food makes you get out of bed.

when you leave your bedroom, you hear the sound of the tv on and get scared. slowly, without making any noise, you go down the stairs, trying to find out if your house has been invaded, but it would be strange, as it is daytime. soon you see rafe walking around your house.

he didn’t leave?

it’s like you’re not even there. you get to watch rafe make himself comfortable in your kitchen, looking for stuff to put on the table. there are two delivery bags on the counter, which means he bought food, but the gesture warms your heart, which was merely shattered.

“the cutlery is in the second drawer next to the sink.” you say, startling him a bit.

“jesus. can you, i don’t know, announce you’re in the room? i almost dropped your coffee.”

you laugh.

“sorry, rafey. what are you doing, i thought you had left.”

“uh, i bought breakfast for y- us.” he says. you look inside the bags and you can tell he ordered possibly everything you have eaten from that place. “c’mon, i ordered that vegan shit you like, your coffee and even a pretzel.”

you follow him to the table and you both begin helping yourselves. this isn’t your first time having breakfast with him, but it does feel like it’s a first.

for the first time, you don’t want to leave him.

i love feedback! let me know your thoughts! <3

#my writings #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks #drew starkey #drew starkey x you #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey oneshot #drew starkey imagine

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multiversediaries · 7 hours

Text

god of mischief indeed

loki laufeyson x reader

summary: you would’ve never thought this was what loki said about you when you weren’t around.

warnings: very small angst, wholesome, fluff

part count: 2/2

an: omg so sorry for the super late upload!!! hope you all enjoy!!

part one

it had been only a few days ever since you overheard loki speak with thor about you. you had moved into your new room and you were comfortable. but even then, you wouldn’t and couldn’t lie to yourself and say you didn’t miss him to death.

you sat up on your bed, unable to sleep yet again tonight. you found yourself reminiscing of all those things he did that you mistook for habits. your hand ran towards the empty pillow besides yours. you missed him like crazy, but those words of his wouldn’t leave your mind. you still couldn’t believe how he proudly admitted to playing with your feelings, and how cold he seemed. you have been distant ever since. completely ignoring his existence. you wanted nothing to do with him, and everyone could tell.

you decided something to drink could help. you stood up from your bed and left your room to find yourself something to help you relax. you walked into the kitchen and began looking for any sort of tea that could help you sleep at least a few hours tonight. you sighed in pure exhaustion as you continued to look in the dark. after a few minutes of endless searching, the lights of the kitchen suddenly switched on. you almost jumped, startled.

you turned around, ready to joke with whoever turned the light on. yet all you did was frown at the sight of loki. of the man who had just broken your heart into pieces only a few days back. you took in his appearance, his messy long hair, dressed in casual clothing, it was such a nice sight. a sight you used to adore but now only caused you pain. you sighed and turned around yet again, continuing to find yourself something soothing to drink.

loki let out a sigh behind you, walking closer. he stood by the end of the counter, as he watched your every move, confused as to why you were suddenly ignoring him.

“love?” loki called out, and goosebumps covered your skin. you hated the effect he easily had on you. you ignored his call entirely. “darling, what’s going on?” he asked, shamelessly. you almost chuckled, whilst you started to heat up water in a pot. loki sighed deeper, not understanding why you seemed so distant.

“y/n.” he said sternly, but ignored yet again. he walked closer to you, now grabbing your arm, to gain your attention. “y/n—“

“don’t touch me.” you spat at him, removing his hands off you, in both anger and sadness. he stared at you in disbelief.

“have i done something? why do you act this way towards me, love?” he asked, and you almost wanted to hit him. did he really not know? you shook your head, amazed by him.

“why do you care so much for someone you’re only having fun with, huh?” you asked, crossing your arms infront of your chest. you were tired of his lies. loki tilted his head, confused, furrowing his eyebrows.

“love, what are you—”

“anyone must be insane to believe you’d settle with me of all people.” you continued, until he seemed to have realized what you were talking about.

“you heard.”

“i heard.” you replied, drily. loki sighed deeply, before looking back into your pained eyes. you turned around yet again, to continue what you were doing.

“dear—“

“stop calling me that. stop talking to me as if i’m stupid.” you interrupted him. loki took a deep breath, trying to find the words to possibly calm you down.

“y/n.” he said, dropping all the nicknames all together. “you have it all wrong. believe me, i—”

“you what, loki? you love me? oh, please, you can’t think i’d actually believe that.” you laughed, turning to look at him, his expression further saddening but you couldn’t care less.

“y/n. listen to me, won’t you?” loki attempted to say, his hands trying to find their place in your waist, yet you pulled away from him again. “come back to our room. let’s talk this out.” he tried convincing you.

“i mean absolutely nothing to you, laufeyson. nothing.” you painfully admitted. “i am simply someone you can screw around with whenever you’re bored. i’m nothing more or nothing less to you.” you continued, loki shook his head, disagreeing with you.

“so i won’t burden you any longer— hell, you probably only came to look for me because you wanted someone to sleep with, didn’t you?” you finished, turning around again to continue what you came for. loki stood behind you, as if frozen in place, not knowing what to do or what to say. his hand started to reach out again, needing to feel you, to hug you and beg you to come back to him. but his pride got the best of him. he pulled his hands back and began walking away from you.

“very well.” was the last thing he said, before he walked back into his room, leaving you all alone in the kitchen.

“oh, my god.” you whispered, leaning against the counter, now trying to catch your breath. it took everything in you to not forgive him and hug him. you didn’t even realize your hands were shaking until you tried pouring the hot water into a pot, and failed. maybe it was best you didn’t drink anything that night.

=============

“you clean up nicely.” tony remarked, as you walked into the party. you let out a small giggle, shaking your head. the avengers had planned a party, to celebrate all their recent victories. you were excited for it. it had been so long since you last spoke to loki. it was painful to say the least.

it now seemed as if he didn’t care about you anymore. you’d catch him staring at you here and there, but his eyes were not full of love like before. you could only see anger and even confusion at times.

but loki. he was suffering as he watched you from a far, being so happy without him. god, it was eating him alive. he felt insane. he couldn’t understand why you seemed to be doing so well without him. how could you? when he’s helpless without you? but he would never admit his feelings for you. he wouldn’t dare speak to you.

but even then, loki couldn’t prevent his eyes from widening at the sight of you. the sight of his woman, looking as gorgeous as ever. your beauty was intense. his jaw clenched, as he leaned against the bar, watching your every move. and you knew of this. you could feel his eyes as if they were his beloved daggers. yet your thoughts were interrupted by pietro, laying his hand on your lower waist.

loki let out a breathless, bitter chuckle. who does this boy think he is? loki grabbed his cup of whiskey and drank the entirely of it, soon ordering yet another glass, his eyes still glued to you.

“you look beautiful.” pietro whispered in your ear, and you couldn’t help but blush. it has been so long since you were last complimented on your appearance. it wasn’t even close to how loki seemed to worship you back then, but those were probably lies, right?

“are you alone tonight, darling?” pietro asked yet again. you nodded gently, looking into his eyes. he smiled widely and shook his head, leaning once again to whisper in your ear.

“not anymore.”

you giggled, softly hitting his arm. he chuckled at your loveliness and looked at the others, trying to catch up on their conversation. you grinned softly, completely oblivious to the jealous loki watching you from afar.

“lovely couple.” thor broke loki’s silence, followed by a mocking chuckle, sitting next to him at the bar. “don’t you think?” he asked, whilst ordering his own glass.

loki stayed completely quiet, not daring to look away.

“he seems to compliment her quite well...” thor continued, looking at his brother besides him. he watched as loki’s expression changed all together.

“brother—“

“it wouldn’t surprise me if pietro’s currently pursuing her. it’s slightly obvious.” thor interrupted loki, who seemed to be getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

“i mean, she is a gorgeous woman—”

“stop it, will you?” loki finally spoke, his hands massaging his temples in frustration. thor chuckled softly, taking a small sip of his glass, amused by his brother’s stubbornness.

“what is it?” thor said after some minutes of silence, a bit worried for his brother. loki had never acted this way. loki let out a big sigh, meeting thor’s eyes for the first time.

“i simply—“

“you’re in love with her.” thor said, shrugging his shoulders, as if it was obvious. loki widen his eyes, almost shocked. was it truly that obvious? were his feelings that apparent? can’t be… because if they were, why didn’t you notice? if they were, why were you here with pietro tonight? loki looked back at you, his eyes pained as he watched you enjoying yourself at the presence of another person that wasn’t him.

“i don’t know what it is you’re talking about.”

“won’t you stop being dishonest with yourself?” thor said, somewhat annoyed by loki’s obliviousness. loki looked at thor once again, his eyes full of confusion and sadness.

“i can tell, brother. how smitten you are with her. we all can.” thor declared, finishing his drink. he let out an exhausted sigh before continuing. “you’re the only one who still hasn’t realized it.”

“i—” loki started, his eyes going back to your figure, dancing with pietro in the dance floor. his heart sinking whenever you’d smile, his hands sweating in nervousness. “i don’t know what to do.” loki confessed, dropping his head in defeat. thor listened closely.

“I don’t know how to alleviate— i just— don’t know how to fix this.” loki shook his head, as he remembered the things he said, and how hurt you were because of him. “i haven’t got a clue on what to do to get her back.”

“mhm…” thor hummed, as if thinking before speaking up soon after. “have you ever heard of apologizing?” thor joked, earning a deadly look from the god. thor raised his arms in defense, chuckling. “i’m just saying, brother. an apology can do so much… and your confession.” thor said, loki looked at his brother, nodding his head in agreement. thor offered him a small smile, before tapping his shoulder.

“you must hurry, before you genuinely lose her.” thor finished, before walking away, leaving loki all alone. loki let out a breath, he didn’t know he was holding and nodded his head. he needed to speak to you. he needed to get you back.

he kept watching you. waiting for the perfect moment to snatch you away. yet pietro was by your side all night. it was so angering and bothersome to loki. his moment soon came though, when you excused yourself. you needed some fresh air, your social battery was already running out.

you offered smiles as you walked through the party, there were more people than you expected. you let out a thankful sigh as soon as you officially walked out of the party, towards the foyer. the air was cold. causing you to softly hug yourself, seeking warmth. you closed your eyes, finally feeling peace and enjoying the quiet. you didn’t even feel the presence of loki, before he softly spoke up.

“hiding from your date?” loki gently said, breaking the silence. you almost jumped by the sudden sound of his voice. you offered him a small smile, before going back to looking upfront, shaking your head.

“just needed some fresh air.” you simply replied, licking your dry lips. loki nodded, still keeping his place close behind you. he could smell your sweet perfume, you were wearing his favorite.

“why are you with him tonight?” loki finally asked, somewhat terrified of your answer. you looked back him, confused.

“why do you care?” you asked.

“answer me, y/n.” loki pleaded. you furrowed your eyebrows, fully turning around and facing him. you tilted your head in confusion.

“because he seems to care for me, and—”

“and i don’t?”

“w—what?” you asked, baffled by his words. “no, loki. you don’t.” you confirmed, looking deeply into his eyes. loki scoffed a grin, bewildered by your stupid response. how could you ever think like that? when he loved you so?

“you must have lost your mind.” loki mumbled, shaking his head. that stupid grin of his still plastered on his face. you bit your lip, angrily. “you know i do, y/n.”

“do i?” you asked, tears beginning to well up in your eyes. “do i really? you never tell me anything, how am i supposed to be so sure of that?”

“y/n—” loki started, now walking closer to you, his hands reaching out to lay on their place on your soft cheeks, yet you pulled back from him. his eyes looked at you, shocked and hurt. “please. let me show you.” he almost begged. you sniffled, trying to decide on whether letting him touch you. after a while, you nodded.

loki placed his hands on your cheeks, his thumb softly caressing your shiny skin as he admired you. it had been so long since he had actually looked at you. so long since he had the privilege to touch you and even breathe the same air as you. he locked eyes with you once again and spoke up.

“of course i care for you. there’s absolutely no one else in this or in any universe that i care for and that matters to me more than you.” loki confessed, and you froze in place. you couldn’t believe this was happening. you couldn’t believe the words that were leaving his mouth.

“but then, why— why would you—”

“i don’t know why i’d say something like that. i truthfully— please believe me when i say that i didn’t mean any of that.” loki interrupted you, his hand softly removing a piece of hair from your face. you sighed shakily as you listened to him.

“i just don’t understand…” you whispered. “if you really care, then why would you say something like that? why wouldn’t you want to be with me?” you asked, your voice breaking mid sentence. loki felt his heart breaking into a million pieces as he watched the tears leave your eyes.

“oh, love.” loki said softly, almost in a whisper as he tried drying your endless tears. “i— i’m terrified.” loki confessed, his hands dropping gently to his sides, and stepping back from you, giving you your space. you looked at him through your watery eyes.

“of what?”

“i’m in love with you.” loki bluntly confessed. and you froze in place. he was… what? loki bit his bottom lip, his hands starting to sweat. he even looked shocked himself by his sudden confession. you could even see his chest sinking, trying to find his breath.

“i want you— i’ve wanted you for so long. i can rarely breath whenever you’re not besides me. i feel at ease by simply hearing you breathe.” loki rumbled, his hands running through his hair anxiously.

“i just— i wasn’t sure of how you felt, hell, i wasn’t sure of how i felt.” loki continued.

“loki…” you started, taking a cautious step closer to him.

“no one has ever loved me or has ever treated me the way you have and.. i am simply horrified of losing… this, by my greed. i— want more. i—”

“i love you. i— i do. there’s not a day i haven’t not loved you. i— i love you so much that it can’t even begin to be described. so much that i could and would die from it.” loki continued and yet, you couldn’t move. you just listened to his words, letting him let it all out.

“however… i don’t deserve it. i don’t deserve you. i’m aware of that.” loki said softly, so sadly it brought tears to yours eyes yet again. “how could you ever feel anything asides from hate for someone like me?” loki chuckled, and you were at the verge of tears. it hurt so bad, seeing the man you love be so insecure and overall love starved, to the point where he actually believes he’s unlovable.

“loki— listen to me, will you?” you almost whispered, closing the space between the two of you. your hands ran to his cheeks, cupping his handsome face. his pained expression pulling at your heart strings.

“i’m being selfish, y/n, i acknowledge that. but i realized i can’t live without you. my world has no meaning if you’re not in it, but i can’t— you don’t deserve this.” loki almost sobbed in your hands, closing his eyes, trying his hardest to remain strong. you couldn’t breathe by watching the man you loved so much be so vulnerable, and all for you.

“i love you.” you gently started, your thumbs stroking his soft skin. you heard as loki took a shaky breath, his hands hovering over your body, as if scared to touch you. his eyes starting to water as he looked back into your gorgeous eyes.

“i’ve loved you ever since i first laid my eyes on you.” you continued, and watched as loki closed his eyes again, a small tear leaving his eyes.

“i’m sorry.” loki apologized, already in tears and you couldn’t help but hug your gentle giant.

“i know. it’s alright.” you consoled him, your hand stroking his back lovingly as he cried in your shoulder.

“but never say or do anything that stupid ever again.” you joked, earning a small grin from loki, who only nodded desperately.

“y/n.” loki spoke, after pulling away from your hug and now looking directly into your eyes. “are—are you sure? of this? of us?” he asked insecurely, and it made you frown deeper.

“loki—”

“do you understand all the danger there is to being by my side? i’m not a hero, y/n, i will never be and i just— i don’t want to ruin any perception you could have of me.” loki said, his voice full of anxiety. you placed your hand in his cheek yet again, and leaned in to finally kiss your man.

you heard his breathe hitch as you placed your soft lips on top of his. you kissed loki sweetly, intending to communicate all of your feelings for him in one simple kiss. soon enough, loki finally placed his hands on your waist, comfortable and confident enough to touch you. his tongue soon entered your mouth, now fully tasting you. the kiss lasted a few minutes, and you didn’t want it to end. you didn’t know how much you loved kissing loki, until you were deprived of it for so long. you soon pulled away, resting your head on his.

“i love and want you, loki. not a perception. i want you because you’re you.” you said gently, as to comfort him. he sighed softly, only listening to what you had to say.

“i don’t know what you’ve been through, that has caused you to think like this, but you deserve all the love in this world, and i’m honored to finally give it to you.” you continued, placing a sweet kiss to his cheek, earning a shy smile from the god. “please let me continue loving you, loki laufeyson.”

loki didn’t even have to answer. he just wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you into a loving hug. you giggled softly, returning the hug. you caressed his back lovingly, as loki finally realized you were his. his woman, the love of his life. he found himself smiling knowing that his insecurities didn’t win, and here he was, hugging the love of his life. loki soon pulled away, looking into your sweet eyes.

“pietro.”

“pietro…?” you repeated, confused.

“if he ever dares to lay his dirty hands on you again, i swear—” loki was interrupted by your laughter. he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face as he heard you laugh, but this time because of him.

“i’m serious, darling. watching him shamelessly flirt with you has been torture these part few weeks. i will not stand it any longer.” loki said, shaking his head. you giggled, nodding your head.

“you deserved it.” you joked, loki smirking at your comment.

“i did.” loki said, softly pecking your lips lovingly.

“yes, i did.”

—

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guess-my-next-obsession · 3 hours

Text

Guilty as Sin? - Chapter Two

pairing: professor!javier peña x f!reader

rating: series is 18+ only, minors DNI, lots of yearning, derrick disappoints us, javier flirts...kinda, law school stuff that i'm researching as i go so bare with me actual lawyers and law students, mentions of a crime/DV (used as an example), reader wears skirts (for the sake of future smut)

word count: 3.8k

series masterlist

After a long night of imagining Dr. Peña’s stern eyes peering into yours from between your thighs, it was time to face him yet again. With his Criminal Law class Monday through Wednesday, and his Intro to Forensics lab Wednesday through Friday, it seemed you’d have to learn to get used to his dizzying effect on you or else you’d never get a full night of sleep. It didn’t help that both Nina and Alondra had guests over last night, their explicit noises forcing you into sleeping with headphones on.

Ears aching and eyes tired, you carried on with your day as usual. New lectures in Advanced Forensics and Criminal Profiling in the morning, and Dr. Peña’s class in the afternoon. Derrick followed you around in between classes, eager to prove himself to you by buying your latte and carrying your bag—even when you insisted you were fully capable of doing both on your own.

You weren’t sure what had gotten into him over the summer while he was away with his family in the Hamptons—a luxury you could only imagine as you spent your summer working as an underpaid secretary for a law firm. Perhaps it had to do with his older brother’s engagement and recent promotion to an attending physician that compelled him to be so pushy when it came to you. Unfortunately for him, you had no interest in getting married this young, not when you still had so much to prove.

“Hopefully there’s a seat in the back today,” he said, opening the door to the lecture hall for you. While he may have a good reason for not wanting to be the center of Dr. Peña’s attention again, there was a decent sized part of you that adored his attention—even if it meant a scolding. Maybe especially if it meant that.

“Yeah,” you lied, swallowing down your nerves as you stepped into a much more crowded room than yesterday. You scanned the room, now full of hopeful women and men who must have heard about Dr. Peña’s looks and transferred out of their old classes to get a glimpse of the man. Only five seats remained, four of them scattered around the auditorium and one in the front row.

“Shit,” Derrick swore, scanning the room. “Guess we have to split up.”

You fought away the smirk threatening to spread across your face and frowned. “Sucks. Well, I’m gonna be in the front.”

“So he can pick on you?” Derrick asked, raising a brow. “There’s a seat near the back, take that one.”

“I’m fine,” you assured, giving him a glare to admonish whatever control he thought he had over what you chose to do. He scoffed, watching you as you made your way down the steps of the hall to the front row where you found a seat beside a girl you were friendly with during undergrad, Mayte. “Is this seat open?”

“Yeah,” she chirped with a smile, moving her bag from the seat to let you sit down. “Crazy how full this class is. I don’t feel like it was this packed yesterday.”

“It wasn’t,” you chuckled, unpacking your notebook and pen.

Striding in in a red button down and almost skin tight black slacks that you couldn’t help but notice bulged out at the zipper, the reason for all the new transfers became clear. The hush that fell over the room was telling, a silence that filled you with so much jealousy you thought you might be sick.

“Afternoon,” he greeted, setting his back down in his chair. After pulling out a stack of papers, he gave the room a quick once over, his shock written in the lift of his brows. “Full house today.”

The room filled with flirty laughter, your eyes rolling in response. Heading over to Mayte who sat at the start of the row, Dr. Peña handed her the stack of papers, his eyes flickering towards yours as he spoke, “Take one, pass it down.”

You looked away, the window now seeming far more interesting than it had a second ago.

“Today’s lecture will be on the fundamental elements of crime,” he said, reaching his podium. Hearing your name called, you shrank a bit in your seat. Still, that thrill of earning his attention raced through your veins, daring you to meet his eyes. “Can you tell the class what these elements are?”

You nodded, flipping to the page in your notebook you’d filled out the night before while studying. “The fundamental elements of a crime are actus reus, mens rea, and causation.”

The corner of his mouth tilted upwards as he gave you a nod, his eyes hesitantly shifting from yours to the row behind you. “Mr. Velasquez, define actus reus for me.”

“Actus reus refers to the act of committing a crime, either knowingly or unknowingly,” he said.

“Very good,” Dr. Peña commended. “Simply put, actus reus—which is Latin for guilty act—refers to the ‘what’ in a crime. These criminal actions must be considered voluntary and done during a lucid state to constitute a crime. For example, a sober man comes home from a hard day at work and assaults his wife. This act was done both in a conscious state and by his own volition. Now, if the wife were to be in a state of survival and had no other choice than to respond to the assault with an extreme measure, this is an entirely different story and does not meet the qualifications for actus reus.”

“Murder is murder, isn’t it?” Derrick asked from somewhere in the middle row, causing you to roll your eyes. Did he really not understand the difference between murder and self defense this far into the law program?

“Murder is murder, and survival is survival, Mr. Crawley,” Dr. Peña explained, crossing his arms over his shoulders. “Do you disagree with this logic?”

“Sort of, yeah,” he said, matching Dr. Peña’s arrogance without possessing any of the charm. “There are ways to defend yourself without killing someone?”

“Do you think these victims have the time to strategize when they have a gun pressed to their temple? If there’s a blade to their throat?” he challenged. “They do what they have to do to survive. It’s not our place as lawyers to judge them, it’s our job to uphold the law.”

“Laws that are written with double standards,” Derrick scoffed, earning a shush that sounded an awful lot like Nina.

“Perhaps if you make it to the end of the program you can change things,” Dr. Peña smirked, glancing at you before turning back to your friend who was looking an awful lot like a stranger these days. “But I’m not so certain that’ll be the case for you, Mr. Crawley.”

After the scene that was class, you met up with Alondra at the library, both of you determined to avoid the noise that came along with Derrick having his male friends over at the apartment. Beyond the obnoxious volume they all spoke at, you hated the way they watched you, whispering amongst themselves about how jealous they were that Derrick got to live with three beautiful girls—nevermind the fact that none of you wanted anything to do with him in that sense.

“What are you doing your paper on for Arman’s class?” Alondra asked as she typed on her laptop.

“Not sure yet,” you said, taking a bite out of the banana you’d hoped would fuel you until dinner. “Maybe capital punishment.”

“That’s good,” she commended. “I was thinking of analyzing the process of trying someone with psychological disorders.”

“Still interested in criminal psych?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve done the psychology route instead, but there was no way I was going to convince my parents to fund that.”

“Why not?” you frowned.

“They don’t think mental illness is a real thing, which is funny considering they both exhibit traits of bipolar disorder and narcissism,” she laughed, hiding her trauma behind a thin veil of humor like she always did. Not that you minded it. The whole expressing your feelings thing never really came that easily to you. “Oh, shit. I forgot to tell you something.”

“Oh, no,” you winced.

“So rumor has it that you and Derrick have a little date on Friday?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, shaking your head. “I just want to get it over and done with so he’ll drop the whole thing. I mean, four years into being friends and I never felt a thing for him. Does he really think that changed overnight?”

“Knowing him, probably,” she chuckled. “Anyways, I heard from a very credible source—“

“Sabina,” you guessed.

“Maybe,” she blushed. “Anyways, she told me that on the first night back, Derrick hooked up with an undergrad and caught a case of the clap.”

“Shut up,” you gasped. “Chlamydia? At his grown age?”

“I know,” she laughed. “So, just be careful if you decide to—“

“Believe me, I had no intentions of fucking him before and I sure as hell have none now,” you assured, cringing at the thought.

“Interesting conversation for a library, isn’t it?” Dr. Peña’s warm timbre sent a chill up your spine as he stood behind your chair, Alondra’s eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

“We were just…gossiping,” she offered, shrugging the embarrassment off. “Women, am I right?”

“Two very bright women who’d be far better off studying,” he challenged.

You refused to turn around, his leather and vetiver scent combined with his proximity already too much for your system of self restraint to handle. Instead, you flipped the page of your textbook in strained silence.

“I actually was hoping to speak to you about tomorrow’s lab,” he continued, now speaking directly to you.

“8 p.m., got it,” you said, your tone clipped with frustration at your dirty mind.

“It was actually in reference to your…clothing,” he returned, causing Alondra to raise a brow as she pretended to resume her typing. Turning in your seat, you peered up at him with furrowed brows.

“What about my clothing?” you inquired.

“You seem to wear a lot of dresses and skirts,” he noted, though he looked as if it was torture to even have this conversation. “I just wanted to remind you that appropriate PPE is required for all labs, which means—“

“Pants. Understood,” you said, turning back to your book.

“Good,” he managed, almost sounding as if he’d lost his voice with how strained his tone was. “I’ll leave the two of you to your gossiping and studying, then.”

Alondra watched as he walked past your table, his hands tucked into his pocket as if he owned the place.

“Hot,” she whispered, biting her lip. “I’m pretty gay, but that tension…”

“There’s no tension, he’s just a dick,” you snapped, feeling your cheeks heat as you replayed the interaction over and over in your head.

He really paid that much attention to you? So much so that he felt compelled to remind you of lab etiquette you learned back in high school?

The delusional part of your mind swooned while the logical part recoiled.

“Please show up in a mini skirt,” she begged, her hands clasped together in front of her chest. Snorting at herself, she proceeded to mimic his deep voice, “I thought I told you no mini skirts.”

“I’m begging you to shut the fuck up,” you sighed, rubbing your temples.

“Yes, I’ve been such a naughty girl, Professor.”

“Would you look at that. Seems like it’s time for me to get the fuck out of here,” you said, closing your book and shoving it into your bag.

“Don’t be like that, I’m just trying to paint an image,” she teased, laughing as you hustled to get your things packed.

“Sorry, I’ve got a date with my bed,” you snarked, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“How convenient,” she smirked, tapping her pen against her chin. “I give you a brand new fantasy and now you’re off to bed.”

“Someone’s moans kept me up all night so I’m exhausted,” you retorted, laughing at the way she kept staring you with that knowing look of hers. “Fuck off.”

“Love you more,” she called as you turned and walked away.

After another night of restless sleep and inappropriate fantasies of Dr. Peña’s hands sliding up your skirt, it was time for yet another day of this back and forth. You’d expected Derrick to keep his distance after his humiliating interaction during CrimLaw, perhaps brood about like he usually did when things didn’t go his way, but it was business as usual today. He followed you around like a lost dog, talking your ear off about his upcoming project for his mock trial in his Criminal Procedures class as you wandered off in your mind to a reality where he hadn’t changed into this hyper masculine man you didn’t recognize.

“I’m excited,” he beamed, rubbing his hands together. “First time to prove myself in a courtroom.”

“An artificial court room,” you clarified, earning a scowl. “Hey, I have to get to Peña’s lab.”

“We’re, uh, still good for Friday, right?” he asked, catching your elbow as you moved to walk away.

“If you want,” you shrugged, looking down at where he still gripped your arm. “I should get going.”

He nodded, letting your arm go. “I’ll see you at home.”

After managing to ditch Derrick, you assumed your walk to Dr. Peña’s lecture hall would give you a moment of respite, but of course fate had different plans.

You didn’t even recognize him until he was already approaching with a cocky grin and his arms held out wide. Micah, the man who’d ruined your entire undergrad experience with all of his back and forth bullshit. You fought the urge to scrunch your nose in disgust over his new mullet and pitiful mustache he likely spent all summer growing.

“Hey,” he chimed your name, creating an absurd desire inside you to change it just so you’d never have to hear it on his lips again. You feigned confusion, as if you could ever forget those green eyes that still haunted every dream. “Shit, you don’t recognize me.” He laughed. “It’s Micah.”

“Oh. Hey.” Your greeting was as strained as your smile.

“You’re looking good,” he praised, admiring you from top to bottom. You cringed at his appraisal, at his ignorance over the entire situation. “How’s, uh, how’s law school?”

“Fine,” you replied, clipped and cold.

“Why’re you acting like that?” he asked, a smile tugging at his lips. Oh, the amount of money you’d pay for the chance to slap that arrogant smirk right off his face. “You still holding onto all that old shit?”

“Four years of emotional abuse will do that,” you replied. “Anyways, I have to be somewhere.”

“C’mon, all your friends forgave me for that shit. Why can’t you?”

Maybe today would be the day you finally lost your shit on him and ended up in jail. Though, that would mean missing Dr. Peña’s lab and you certainly couldn’t miss out on the chance to ogle him.

“They forgave you because they weren’t the ones you fucked over,” you explained, choosing to be mature even when it ached. “So I get to decide when I want to forgive you. Not the other way around. And just as a good rule of thumb, I don’t plan on forgiving you anytime soon.”

“So what, we just avoid each other?” he frowned, daring to act as though he was hurt.

“That’s the goal,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. “Besides, won’t be long now until you flunk out since I’m not around to write your essays anymore.”

“Fucking bitch,” he hissed, signaling your cue to walk the fuck away before you did something that would end up with you in a jail cell. “And you wonder why I cheated!”

Shaking your head to clear out all the memories of nights spent sobbing on the floor or in Nina’s bed because yours reminded you of him too much, you marched off towards the lecture hall with five minutes to spare. Thankfully unlike your Criminal Law lecture, you didn’t have to worry about finding a seat given the fact that you’d be sitting at the front of class in a desk designated to the TA.

You passed rows of undergrads whispering and laughing amongst themselves, all of them blissfully unaware of the storm heading their way. As you reached the front of the class, Dr. Peña walked in with the same frown of disapproval he wore on the first day of your lecture.

“Evening,” he greeted, silencing the room with one simple word. He shot you a glance, doing a double take as he noticed you were still unpacking your bag and getting settled.

“You’re late,” he scolded in a whisper as he walked over to your desk, the cinnamon on his breath invading your senses.

“I’m five minutes early,” you challenged as you opened your notebook and jotted down the date, well aware of the sea of freshman and sophomore eyes trained on the two of you.

“I need you here at seven-thirty,” he ordered. “I had to prep by myself.”

“I apologize,” you sighed, half due to your run in with Micah and half due to the ever present exhaustion of trying to keep your fantasies of your demanding professor at bay. “I’ll be on time tomorrow.”

“That would be appreciated,” he snarked, shaking his head as he wandered back to the center podium with a clearing of his throat. “Welcome to Intro to Forensics. I’m Dr. Peña, you’ll refer to me as such this semester—not dude, not bro, and certainly no nicknames. I’m not your friend, I’m here to teach you. Understood?”

God, he was a dick. A beautiful, wound up dick that you couldn’t stop thinking about.

“This is your TA for the semester,” he introduced you by name, and something about the way it sounded on his lips caused your breath to hitch. “She’ll be here to help during labs as well as tutoring on her own time. If you have questions about the material or assignments, I suggest you speak with her first. You’ll find her tutoring hours on the syllabus.”

You frowned a bit as you thought about the whole tutoring part of being a professor’s assistant. Spending your weeknights at the library helping out undergrads sounded like pure torture at this point in your life, but at least the extra cash would go a long way towards covering your bills.

“Today we’ll be covering DNA fingerprinting,” he said, pulling up a slideshow presentation. “Can anyone tell me how exactly this process works?”

A pretty freshman shot her hand up before he’d even finished speaking, curdling your stomach with jealousy you knew you had no right to feel. “Yes, Miss…?”

“You can just call me Jess,” she smiled, tucking a piece of her caramel brown hair behind her ears.

“No. What’s your last name?” he sighed.

“Jacobs,” she sputtered, her cheeks turning a shade of red. “DNA fingerprinting uses nucleotide sequences in DNA to determine who the fingerprints belong to.”

“Very good,” he nodded. “And what are nucleotides?”

“I…um, I don’t know,” she admitted, that sparkling smile now long gone as she stared down at her book.

“Figured,” he chided, skipping to the next slide. “Your knowledge doesn’t mean a thing if you can’t explain it.”

Watching him talk down to a student shouldn’t have stirred you the way that it did. In fact, if he’d been any other man talking to a woman that way, you’d have detested him. But there was something about Dr. Peña that poisoned your mind in his favor, a very annoying thing you now had to add to your list of shit to sort out upstairs.

After a relatively silent lab where the students had to match DNA samples to their rightful owner, it was nearing ten o’clock, the pitch black sky outside beckoning you to hurry the fuck up and get to bed. Of course, nature was forgetting your very demanding professor who seemed dead set on wearing you out in all the wrong ways.

“You take half, I’ll take half,” he suggested, splitting the stack of worksheets in two and handing you your share as you sat in his private office that was adjoined to the lecture hall. “Should be finished quickly enough.”

“Is there any way I can just do these at home?” you asked, your eyelids growing heavier with each blink.

He studied you for a beat, those brown eyes traversing every single feature, every inch from head to toe as if he was searching for something. “If you’d prefer.”

“I’m just really tired,” you admitted, suddenly feeling small under his gaze. “Don’t want to accidentally fall asleep in your office.”

“That would be inconvenient,” he chuckled, and god, what a sound. “Grade them wherever you’d like, just make sure you drop them off tomorrow morning.”

Nodding, you grabbed your bag and carefully tucked the papers inside.

“Tomorrow morning,” you echoed.

“I look forward to it,” he smiled, a fleeting thing that disappeared the moment you turned to look at him. “Have a good night.”

You took in a slow inhale and offered him a more lasting smile. “You too, Professor.”

“And don’t worry about the PPE tomorrow,” he added, stopping you as you moved to leave the room. Raising your brow at him, he looked entirely unphased, his eyes once again combing you over before he seemed to realize himself. “No lab, just a lecture.”

“Right,” you said, biting your lip. “I’ll be sure to wear my shortest skirt.”

Did you really just say that? Out loud?

Dr. Peña cracked a smile and shook his head, turning back to his desktop. “I wouldn’t want you to cause a scene.”

“I’m not sure the sight of me in a skirt is scene worthy.”

He tilted his head to the side in consideration, his eyes still locked on his screen.

“I’d beg to differ,” he said, wearing that taunting fucking smirk as he typed. “Anyways, be safe getting home.”

“Yeah,” you chuckled—at him, at yourself, at everything. “Night, Dr. Peña.”

“Good night,” he smiled.

And just like that, you discovered a way to taunt him the way he taunted you by just existing.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #javier peña fic #javier peña x reader #javi peña #javier peña smut #javier pena smut #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena narcos #javier pena fic #javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier peña fluff #javier pena x you #javier pena fluff #guilty as sin?

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v--143 · 1 day

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Anon Request: Drunk tckls- Would love to see this with Lee Know and Han, Lee Know being the drunk ler and Han being the lee just tryna get Lee Know to settle down and "go to sleep already goddammit"

< Night Night >

[Ler! Lee Know]

[Lee! Han]

———————————————————————————

Han snored softly in his bed. He had fallen asleep immediately after getting home, tired from a long day of practice. He had asked Lee Know where he was off to, his reply being to “the club”, so Han just assumed he’d be fine and find his way back. He offered his home and bed over to his best friend for whenever he got back since his house was way closer. However.. that may have been a mistake…

*wobble*

The doorknob loudly shook as a groggy Lee Know stepped into Han’s room.

“What.. what the-“ Han whispered as he stretched a bit before turning to his beside clock. It read ‘4:07am’.

“Hi HanJiseeoongggg~” Lino said with a smirk. Through the darkness of his home, Han could see Lino’s hair was all ruffled up and his clothes halfway on. His navy pants and short-sleeved white shirt were slightly wrinkled and smelled of alcohol. He definitely had an amusing time.

“Ugghh..” Han moaned, “it’s 4am hyung...” he said as he placed a hand over his eyes. Han could barely keep them open as Lino giggled loudly and kicked off his shoes, then shuffled over to the bed.

“I had fun” Lino chuckled out.

“Did you?” Han was trying his best to sound like he was actually listening. He’s noticed over time that Lino tended to get offended easily when drunk. His form of payback? Being an annoying little shit.

*yawn*

“What..” Lee Know said sternly, “Am I boring you?!” He teased as he crawled onto the bed.

“Hyung. Read the room, it’s 4am…” Han yawned again as he turned over to lay on his stomach.

“Ooooooo” Lee Know cooed, crawling closer to Han and suddenly flinging his body atop the sleepy boy.

“ARGH- get ohoff me!” Han laughed in a deep voice at the sudden weight on his body now. He couldn’t love much considering Lino really spread his entire body out over Han’s, even putting his head into the crook of Han’s neck.

“Come onn let’s do something!” Lino insisted as he suddenly sprung up and began to grab at Han’s shoulders.

“Hyuhung no! Go to bed pleaseee” Han huffed as he unwillingly giggled at Lee Know’s predictable attitude.

“Am I funny?” Lee Know asked.

“Noho, go to bed!!” Han shoved at him. He had to keep swatting at his own neck too from the tingly sensations Lee Know’s whispering brought.

“I’m so funny” Lino squeezed both Han’s sides at the same time.

“Ahaha!” Han curled in on himself when Lino decided not to stop, “Stohop!!”

Lee Know laughed way too loudly at Han’s reactions, “You’re so sensitive!” He said as he began to tickle all over his sides.

“Wahahait waIT WAHAIT!” Han became frantic as he yelled out some loud “HA HAHA”’s as he turned his body over to face Lee Know. He began throwing his head back onto the sunken pillows every time Lino hit a sensitive spot or squeezed him harder than usual. Being as he was, crushed by his body weight… it wasn’t particularly easy for him to escape the situation.

“You’re sooo cute Hanjisungiee~ and loud!! Who knew your deep sleepy laugh could be so powerful~” Lee Know teased.

Han swung and slapped in every direction while trying to grapple at Lee Know’s hands, but the latter thought it was the funniest thing in the world to have Han laughing this hard. His frantic grabbing at Lino’s hands as he simultaneously clutched his quivering stomach was so entertaining to the boy that he didn’t want to stop.

“Plehehease PLEASE!!” Han began to kick at the bed hard, his legs going in all directions, making Lee Know laugh and tease him loudly.

“Please what?” Lee Know said with a way too calm voice.

“PLEAHAHA” Han arched his back.

Lino laughed, “Speak right idiot” he said as he began to tease all over Han’s torso with lighter and quick movements rather than such intense ones. This was even more entertaining to him than before since Han’s anticipation grew by miles every time Lino took a pause.

*heavy breathing* “Plehease wahait ahh~” Han breathed shakily as he giggled, “please please I cahan’t- STOHAP AHAHA” he would scream, and soon after he’d calm down until Lino dove into another spot near his hip, “NohAHA!! Please plehease no!”

Getting bored of only his torso, Lee Know decided to use both his hands to attack Han’s neck and chest. With his hands in a claw-like cat form, he scribbled them all over Han’s collarbones and wiggled them into his neck, causing lots of the most adorable twitches and grabbing at his hands.

“Plehehehe! Aaahahaheha!” Han was smiling so wide while Lino just took the advantage to wreck him to the fullest. So much so that he abandoned his sitting position to lay back down fully over Han.. only to grapple his teeth onto Han’s nape.

“Whahat are yo- NO- AHAH! AAAHAHA” Han screamed at Lino’s mischievous demeanor (and, of course, the awfully ticklish sensations at his neck) as he was clearly smiling into his neck as he bit down gently yet hard enough to make him scream. No matter how much Han shuffled from side to side, he couldn’t seem to get the older off of him.

“AHah.. ahh ahaha!! Plehehease I- hyuhung!” Han only got weaker as Lino began to shake his hair into the crook of his neck and gently traced his fingers over his torso.

“Cuteeee!” Lee Know teased loudly as Han’s little giggles filled the room. He still had an iron grip on both of Lee Know’s wrists with his own hands, but he was too weak to truly stop him now.

“I cahan’t I cahan’t!” Han pleaded to Lino, lazily swatting at his head. He decided to finally let up on the poor boy and he rolled off of him… only to trap him in a hug.

“Lehet me go I don’t trust you” Han giggled.

“Whaattt why!” Lee Know said. His arms were completely enveloping Han’s waist, and because of that comment, he dug the very tips of his fingers into his torso.

“Stohop!! Hyuhuhahng!!” Han slurred his words.

“I don’t know who that issss~”

Han was pushing at Lee Know’s bear hug grip but not really getting anywhere. The subtle poking of his fingers into his sides or ribs was all too overstimulating for it being 4:30am. Once he began to fall limp into Lino’s arms, the older knew he had tired him out enough.

“Your deep laugh is cute Hannie!” Lee Know whispered into the crook of Han’s neck as he squealed a high pitched “ee aah!”

Han had his face covered with both his hands as he began to fall into another deep sleep, a better one after how tired he was now. Lee Know remained holding him with his bear hug grip as they both fell asleep… but not without Lino asking Han if he was happy while he was asleep.

He said yes, very.

———————————————————————————

Meowmeowmeowmeiemeowmeoewmeowmeow I love Minsung

#tword community #tword post #tword blog #sfw twords #tword skz #skz tickle #kpop tickle #stray kids fluff #sfw tickling community #tickle scenarios #lee jisung #Lee Han #ler know #ler lee know #ler minho #tickle fluff #tickle fic #skz tickle fic #tickle skz

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lookingfts · 2 days

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Protective sugar daddy Anthony is it. Can we see anything of him being protective of Kate? *swoon*

She didn't want to call him. Genuinely, she didn't. It was embarrassing, and he would think she was young and stupid - or younger and stupider than he already did. But her phone was on three percent (not her fault, Eddie had thought it a wise idea to unplug it so she could charge her tablet) and would be long dead before an Uber came. Assuming, of course, that they would even come this far out.

Cursing Siena for the twelfth time for leaving with some random, she took a steeling breath and tapped on Anthony’s number.

“Hey,” he said, sounding a bit confused. It was nearly two in the morning, but from what she’d seen, Anthony didn’t sleep very much. “Are you okay?”

“Not really?” Recalling the low battery, Kate thought she might as well spit it all out. “I’m at this party with no way home and I’m honestly super drunk and tired and I was wondering if you would pick me up because my phone is really close to dying.”

There was a sharp inhale on the other line. “Text me the address, I’ll be right there. And wait inside, I don’t want you outside alone.”

“Okay.” She hung up and texted him the address, putting her phone back to sleep. Her heart fluttered a little at the now-familiar concern in his voice. Maybe it was the tequila talking, but Anthony had a way of making her feel…cared for. Safe. It was probably just a side effect of being the oldest of eight siblings, but Kate let herself be won over by it anyway. Just for tonight, just while she was drunk and not responsible for her silly and naive musings.

She watched from the window. Anthony’s Tesla pulled up thirty minutes later, and she stumbled a bit in her heels as she walked down the driveway. Anthony was already getting out, shrugging off his jacket and draping it over her bare shoulders. “Christ, you must be freezing.”

“I’m fine, but thank you.” The cold air was actually quite sobering, though she could hear her words slurring slightly. Placing a hand on his chest, right over his heart, she looked up at his worried expression. “Thank you. I know it’s late.”

Anthony shook his head. “I don’t care about that. I’m glad you called me, Kate. Always call me.”

She was having a bit of trouble processing that as he held the door open for her and she slid into the passenger seat. Kate had always been the person everyone else called in an emergency, but it didn’t usually go both ways. Would Anthony really be there anytime she needed him? Or was that just another hollow promise?

God, she was too drunk for this.

Kate laid back in the seat and let the warmth of the heater thaw her out. “Drink that,” Anthony said, pointing to the unopened bottle of water in the center console. “I’ll get you some paracetamol when we’re back at mine.”

Of course they were going back to his flat. It wasn’t even a discussion. Even if a part of her bristled at the demand, the rest of her was a little relieved that she wouldn’t have to find the correct key to her flat or find her phone charger or take off her dress or her makeup or her heels. Anthony would make sure she got into bed as functionally as possible.

She opened the water and took a long sip, feeling like a new person. Clearly she was dehydrated.

“Kate,” he sighed, placing a gentle hand on her knee. Surprisingly chaste, far below the hem that hit at her mid-thighs. “You scared me tonight. You shouldn’t be out alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. I was with my friend, but she left.”

Anthony swallowed, his face still obviously tense. “I know I don’t have any say in what you do when you’re not with me,” he said deliberately. “But I still worry about you.”

Sliding her hand over his, she squeezed his fingers. “I like that you worry about me,” she admitted in a small voice, letting the alcohol embolden her to speak what was in her heart. Just for tonight.

The only indication that he’d heard her was his thumb pressing into her skin, but Kate thought she knew what he meant, anyway.

#sugar daddy au #bridgerton #kanthony #asks and answers #kate x anthony #anthony x kate #bridgerton fic

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gemkun · 17 days

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“ sex ? more like solve for x ”

#* ✦ 𝐈. ❮ ooc ❯ ⸻ ❝#it’s still sunday #wait no it’s not but it is for some of you #tag your muse that this applies to #i’m so tired i’m actually going to sleep now #but i had to post this before i eeped #ratio says this #im kidding #or am i

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astolfofo · 1 year

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Notes: Slight lapse in judgement moment. (Please comment or reblog with something because I actually dedicated time for this one. I am humbly begging.)

Tw: non-con, gunplay, slight blood play, abusive behaviour, mentions of murder, yandere.

Tagging @yandere-romanticaa on this one, thank you for being the enabler to this (jokingly)

Also on a side note, if you want to listen to something when listening to this, it was inspired by sex with a ghost by teddy hyde, and bo en- pale machine (entire album)

Word count: 4.4K

Dazai had never quite sunken this low before.

He lays down onto the bed, with the gun clattering to the ground. He disregards it as he throws it to the floor, watching it slide across the room. It was useless now, anyways. There were no bullets inside, and it was quite the outdated model, that would be useless against anyone with even the slightest of strength.

All that’s left now is an overwhelming shame. An overwhelming shame that he touched himself, using that weapon for several previous hours, as a means to relieve himself. He feels so disgusted in himself again, as he looks at the rifle, which was now covered in a mixture of his own sweat and cum. It was so disgusting to look at, almost as evidence as to how much he had become a slave to his own desires. Almost as if he was succumbing to some kind of poision that plagued his mind on the daily.

And it didn’t even feel good, he thought to himself. I merely relieved myself enough to clear my mind, if even that.

Dazai looks around the room again. There’s nothing to see, and nothing to feel other than a sick sense of shame. A sense of shame that he decided to touch himself with a gun, while thinking of you. He wasn’t really thinking when he did that, he kind of just did it on impulse, without previous judgement. Yet as Dazai’s eyes dart back to the gun, and his mind drifts to other places. He pictures you cum, and sweat, with a mixture of yours and his cum dripping out of your hole. Your neck is covered with hickeys and bite marks and bruises running down your body. You’re panting, and slightly whimpering from pain, yet you also know he’s the only one who is able to fuck you this good.

He looks down at his cock, which is yet again, hard. He ignores it this time, not wanting to deal with his own arousal, instead choosing to lament over the fact that you were long gone from his life.

But still, he longs for your presence. A person long gone from his life. He longs for you to come back, but you never will.

Dazai shakes his head out of those thoughts, hoping to temporarily think about something else, anything at all that will make prison even slightly more bearable. He looks at the ceiling observing the fluorescent lights, and the solid white ceiling, which reminds him of the situation he’s currently in. Once again, he’s painfully reminded of why he was here. A detainment for ability users, built so they could stay here until they would eventually rot and die. There wasn’t any more to it than that.

He turns on the side again. He doesn’t want to think about that right now, either.

As he lays there, he’s painfully reminded how it’s been two years since you had broken up with him. Not that he was able to keep track of time in prision, but if he were to logically deduce the amount of times he had waken up and fallen asleep, it was about two years since you had broken up with him.

Yet the ghost of your presence haunts him constantly. Even after two years, Dazai had still not gotten over the breakup. No matter how badly he wanted to, he would always come back thinking of you. That you were still there, with him, and not somewhere else. That you still lived with him, that you never ran away from Yokohama, and that he never kidnapped and held you captive. He wanted to imagine that you’d be sitting at home, waiting, wondering where he was, instead of hopping on the nearest train, running away from him.

That you were the same person as who he met you first as, that somewhere at the back of your mind, you still thought of him, at least just a little.

However, he knew all of that was false. You were probably living a normal life again, back in your hometown, maybe with someone else you thought was better for you. Maybe by now, you had recovered from all the injuries he had gaven you over the years, maybe had gone back to the initial person you were, an individual he found so intriguing and rare, that he unwillingly fell for.

He was happy for you, if you were. As happy as he could be, if not exceptionally bitter.

He closes his eyes and imagines you again, how you would look right now, smiling and with some… other guy. It’s not a pleasant feeling imagining you with someone else. Jealousy, envy, and a eerie sort of anger arise in him. No… it’s not anger, he’s not sure what it was. It was closer to an urge to take you away from him, for whatever unknown reason.

Still, you had long ago let go of him, but he’d never let go of you. You had never loved him, but he’d needed you more than man needs air to live. He pictures the scene again, and that possessive feeling comes back again. It felt almost as if the air was being knocked out of his lungs the longer he looked at you and the man together.

You plagued his mind constantly, to the point where Dazai was willing to relieve the pain by almost killing himself with the rifle earlier. Still however, Dazai recognized he needed you as man needs air to live.

Yet he felt rooted in the ground, as his mind went blank again. He felt as if he was fighting a primal urge. He felt as if he was struggling in a room devoid of air, as the helplessness begins to settle down. But he won’t give up, he’ll fight until the very last second to stay alive. All he needs is for that man to be gone. Witnessing so… happy with another man made it feel like every breath he took was poision, and every step he took feel like stabbing his foot. He doesn’t want to see this again.

His vision goes blurry, and then black.

Dazai’s now walking down a dark alleyway. He’s not sure where it is, or how he got there, but he feels as if he’s stuck here now. There’s no sense of urgency, rather, a small, creeping sense of paranoia of why or how he’s here. The alleyway feels endless as if he was trying to escape a large maze. He can’t see to the other end of the alleyway, instead, constantly running into dead ends.

He wonders where he is. Was this another dream of some type? He can’t say for sure, it feels too surreal to be reality. But whatever it was, he felt like he was supposed to find something. There was something else in the maze… that was more important than a way out.

You.

At that exact moment, he hears footsteps. He turns around to see you walking in a different direction, at the entrance of the dead end he currently stands in. You’re calm, you look the same as you always did. And he’ll chase after you this time.

Dazai walks as quietly as he could, following you, to wherever you plan on going. You make several turns; one right and three lefts, before you stop at a door. A door that would likely lead you elsewhere, away from him. To somewhere you wanted to go, or needed to go. But that wasn’t the concern. If he let you go through the door, you’d be gone again. Gone forever.

And he’d lose you again. He can’t lose you again.

“Leaving so soon (Y/N)?”

You look at him. You finally turn around and look at him. He can’t tell the exact emotion of your facial expression, but he takes it with relish either way. Your eyes are wide, contorted with fear, yet anger, with some kind of underlying urgency. A urgency to run. Escape the situation.

But Dazai’s faster than you are. As you try to push open the door, Dazai manages to grab onto your arm and push you back first. You gasp for a quick second, and then regain your composure again, glaring daggers into his eyes.

“Let… Let me go you fucking bastard.”

Dazai smirks, “No.”

As on instinct, your breathing becomes shallow and rapid, as your face fills with dread and anxiety. You’re fighting against his grip, trying to break free from the position Dazai has you in, with your arms pinned against the wall, and his knee in between your thighs, keeping you in place. Dazai, on instinct, grips you by the arms tighter, until you feel like there’s no blood going into your hands.

“You were going to leave, weren’t you?” He mutters. “You were going to leave me alone here, and escape. You know I was going to find you either way, right?”

You open your mouth to protest at him, to tell him to fuck off, but nothing comes out of your mouth. Your jaw feels glued shut, it feels paralyzed.

“You can never truly escape from me, no matter how hard you try to forget the days I held you captive. No matter what, you’ll meet me again in some way, some shape, or some form,” he continues. “You should just accept that.”

Your heart is racing. You want to speak, you want to scream, but your brain doesn’t seem to be able to command your body to do these things. You’re struggling. Your hands are still shaking, trying to break free of his grip. You’re doing everything you can just to not give out on the spot, because you know, that Dazai will take you away if you do that. But you can’t win against him either. Not like this.

Your jaw trembles, as you attempt to call for help, scream, see if anyone is there. But Dazai is faster than you. He covers your mouth and you make out a muffled sound instead. “Shh.. don’t scream. There’s no one here to help you anyways.”

His voice sounds so gentle, so soft, it sounds loving, and genuine, if only you didn’t know what he had done to you at all. Dazai was always good at this, you could never say no to him, he always knew how to make your irrational heart win against your logical brain. Even though you could deny it to yourself all you wanted… if Dazai wasn’t so… cruel to you, you would have fallen for him several times over. But he wasn’t.

He was a monster. A monster with a luring personality, and a luring face, waiting for you to fall. Waiting for you to fall so he can posses you wholly. And you would have never known otherwise, until truly understood who and what he was.

“Just let me have my way with you, just this once, yeah?”

He doesn’t wait for your answer. It wasn’t like he was going to listen whether you said yes or no, anyways. No matter what your answer was, he was going to continue with his actions.

And so, he kissed you. As always, they start off so gentle, so tender, that you could believe it was true. That he wasn’t going to be rough with you later on. His sweet demeanor could only last so long before he lost control of himself.

So you were right. Within moments of your lips touching, his kissing instantly became more desprate, as if his life depended on it. Soon, you begin trying to pull back to breathe, but Dazai won’t let you. He’s waited two years, he’s not going to wait any longer.

So you try to breathe through your nose with as much oxygen as you can get. Dazai doesn’t stop, he’s trying to engrain the taste of your mouth inside his brain, he’s trying to make this last forever. It’s what he truly wants.

And so the gentleness that masks him as human is gone now. He’s doesn’t care if you’re struggling to breathe, or if this is all wrong, that he should let you have your own free will. He’s acting as a man who has not seen oxygen in years. A man that has been rejuvenated back into life by your presence.

And so his actions, initially kissing, have now turned into an action so rough, that it was making your mouth bleed slightly. And he doesn’t stop. The blood gets smeared over both your mouths, the taste of the iron stinging your tongue, and the back of your throat. It gets into his mouth too, and smears over both your lips, almost like a lipstick.

And only when it’s like that, does he stop. But you know this is far from done. You know what happens next and you don’t want it to happen. You inhale through your mouth, trying the best to ignore that your mouth is bleeding. You chest heaves up and down, while Dazai watches, wiping the blood off your blood off his mouth, and tasting it.

It’s addictive. It tastes so sweet to him.

Dazai then grips your chin with his index finger and thumb, while running his thumb over your lips. It’s supposed to be an intimate gesture, maybe a slightly romantic one, but you flinched either way.

You had always reacted this way to Dazai’s touch. No matter how many times he touched you, it always felt foreign to you. None of his actions felt they were done purely as of itself. They always led onto to something, often meant to confuse you. You hated it. You couldn’t what he wanted to do when he did certain actions and you always got the feeling he was playing with you for the fun of it, and that was most likely the case, most of the time.

Dazai smears the blood on your face and admires you.

Your face is visibily red, from the aggressive makeout session,, and your hair is discheveled, covering fractions of your face. Dazai brushes those strands away, as he looks at you. In return, you glare at him, feeling slightly grossed out, but in no position to protest. He then lets go of your arms, letting you fall slack against the wall for a second, and the realization hits again. Your heartbeat quickens at that, and you feel the urge to run, again.

Before you can make a move, you’re held in place again, by Dazai’s knee, which held you securely to the wall. You watch in terror as he takes off his coat and tosses it aside, discarded on the floor. No words are exchanged between the two of you, as you stare at him. Dazai moves his hands towards your chest, and starts unbuttoning your shirt as well.

“D-dazai… please stop…” you mutter.

Dazai puts a finger over your lips. “Just relax, and try to enjoy it, okay? I’ll make sure you feel good, and that you’ll never forget this time.”

“N-no that’s not what I mean. I don’t… I don’t want to do this…please…”

“It’s okay, darling. You know you want this, either way.”

The very air around you and Dazai seemed to be suffocating in a way you couldn’t quite say. It was tense, almost like an elastic band pulled to the very limit of what it could do, awaiting to snap at any moment.

And you were angry. Angry at Dazai that he wanted to do this. Angry at yourself for being caught by him. You felt an indescribable rage inside of you for what he had done to you over the years. Yet everytime, he still says he loves you.

Dazai would never let you go.

No matter where you went, he’d always find a way to get you back. You’re the only thing that he has left. The only thing that he truly wants to live for.

But you didn’t want to accept that for yourself. In fact, you couldn’t care less why the stupid bastard was so obsessed with you, to the point where you got sucked into this dream. You use the free hand, and slap Dazai in the face. It catches him off-guard enough for you to run back towards the door and open it. It creaks open, only for his hand to cover your mouth again, pushing you back against the wall, and keeping you in place.

“You’re not leaving.” Dazai snarls into your ear. “Try all you want, but I’m not letting you go.”

You claw at his hand, trying to pry it off.

“Maybe I should fuck you stupid enough, so you never think of doing that again, hm?”

You gaze at him in horror this time, while his hands travel back to your shirt and unbutton it completely this time, letting it fall to the floor. You wince slightly, due to how cold it is in the alleyway. Dazai then moves to your pants and begins unzipping them, and pulling them down to your ankles.

You once again, slightly recoil in disgust of his actions, but in no position to protest or escape. Now, you’re almost naked, left to the mercy of Dazai to do what he likes with you.

Tears sting your eyes. The, what felt like, slow torture of this entire situation felt painful.

Finally, Dazai takes off his pants. He’s painfully hard, and you cringe in disgust about how your fighting, struggling, and even crying aroused him so much.

Dazai moves his hands behind your back, unhooking your bra, and then he moves to your underwear. The last barrier separating you and him. He takes it off, noticing how wet it really is, and then tossing it aside too.

“My, my, (Y/N). You were that wet from just kissing? I thought you didn’t want this at all.”

“I-I don’t.”

“But your body does. You may deny it all you want, but your body yearns for me. You’ve been leaning into my touch ever since we met. Sure, you’re disgusted in what I’m doing, but do you want to know what your body thinks?”

A pure look of anger which slowly changes into fear fills your face. Dazai leans into the crook of your neck.

“It’s nice to be held be Dazai, isn’t it? You can’t change biological desire. And I think… you know I understand that better than anyone.”

And so, Dazai turns you onto your back, and pushes his entire cock inside of you. You hiss from the sudden intrusion that felt all to familiar and foreign at the same time.

And it reminds you of how painfully well he knows you, yet how little you know him.

And you feel his hands grab onto your hips, and he begins bouncing you up and down on his length, never failing to hit that place inside of you that sent sparks of pleasure up your body.

And he wasn’t being gentle this time, too. If he had been going any faster than he already was, you were sure it would have hurt more than brought pleasure to you.

And he repeats these actions, over, and over. It’s always been that way. Yet your mind felt like it was still melting from the actions. You can’t help it. You can’t help yourself. It feels so good, and you know only Dazai can do this to you.

You almost have to bite back on moaning as he constantly hits that spot. You refused to give him that satisfaction.

Dazai seems to notice this as well. “Don’t hold back. You know I’ll get what I want in the end, anyways.”

Your breath hitches. You knew that. But you didn’t want to give Dazai the satisfaction of having all power over you. But that was all slowly becoming impossible as you came to the realization that physically, you had always wanted Dazai carnally, your mind just believed otherwise.

And as Dazai pushes you down particularly hard that time on his cock, you can’t help but loudly squeal at how good it really felt. It felt mind-numbing lay good. You enjoyed the pain, all too well.

Dazai smirks against your neck again, knowing that he had gotten you in a state where he has all the power. He leans into your neck. He bites down on the flesh, hard enough to draw blood. He licks at the blood enjoying the taste.

And at this exact moment, your hole clench around him too, signalling that you were close to your high.

Dazai groans slightly, taking in the pleasure of the feeling. But he was never kind enough to let you reach your high on the first round.

And he wasn’t going to be kind this time, either.

He bounces you on his cock at a more rapid pace, as your moans get higher and higher, until your cunt is clenching around him tight enough that he almost felt like you could snap his cock off.

And to think you didn’t like it? It made him scoff.

Dazai feels himself chasing his high too. It had been so long… since he had last done this. He felt fulfilled. He felt like he, himself, were on cloud nine, all his previous emotions relieved, instead a dark sort of pleasure replacing any previous emotions.

You’re no different yourself. Despite your anger and hatred towards him, even from one look at your eyes, he could tell you were craves this in a carnal way as well. And for miles around, only the slapping of skin, combined with wet noises, and moaning could be heard. There was no need for anymore than that.

But then it all stops. You look at him in confusion, whining slightly, as he pulls out. Dazai never let you come the first time. He would reduce you to a whining, brainless, mess before allowing you to cum. Only to let you cum so many times, that you wouldn’t even be able to walk the next day.

Yet as for himself, he would cum countless times, until your holes were filled with him, and until your body was covered in it. His cum.

You wince at the gross sticky sensation between your legs again. You feel Dazai’s cum running down your thigh, and it feels disgusting. Normally, you’d yell at him for him to pull out, but right now, your mind was too hazed with other things to care.

“You think you get to cum on the first round after acting like that?”

You don’t respond, trying to get rid of the feeling of being so empty.

“You’re really that desperate, aren’t you?”

You still don’t respond, breathing heavily. Your mind is numbed again, still trying to recover from the myriad of sensations hitting you. Your mind is still hazy with lustful desire.

Dazai sighs, “I suppose I’ll just have to make you cum over, and over, and over, until you can’t anymore.

Your eyes slowly widen again, as you stare at him. “No…. No… please anything but tha-“

“Shh… shh… it’s okay belladonna. You’ll feel so good at the end of it. Promise.”

“No please… Dazai, I didn’t mean it like that. Please, please… it’ll hurt….”

Dazai caresses your face. It’s a gentle, tender action that you want to lean into. But you know it feels more like a nurse preparing you for a needle. A very painful needle that would scar you your arm, that would make you look in shame for the rest of your life.

He kisses you, again, and you have no choice to accept what he gives you.

Dazai looks at you. You’ve came more times than he could actually count, to the point where you weren’t even conscious anymore. You’re covered in cum, sweat, and scratch and bruise marks. A mixture of yours and his cum drips out of your hole, and he takes the sight in with a sick sort of satisfaction.

He’ll a,ways love you. In his own sick, twisted way. Every step he takes, every breath he takes. He’ll do it all for you. You don’t belong to anyone else. You’re his, only his.

No matter how far you go, you’ll always be pulled back to him.

He picks you up, and kisses you on the forehead. You look so peaceful.. sleeping. He drapes his jacket over you, and puts his clothes back on.

“Let’s go home now, shall we Belladonna?”

He walks out of the alleyway, his footsteps echoing throughout the walls.

—-

One light flickers.

Static fills Dazai’s ears. He opens his eyes. He sits up disoriented, looking around at his surroundings.

That’s right.

He’s still in prison, he’s still detained in this room, and he forever will be. Until he tries to escape. Until there’s a way out of this, he‘ll just have to stay here, and hope for the best. At this moment, he remembers why he was here in the first place.

He turns on his on his back again. The desolate ceiling mocks him.

But his mind doesn’t want to think about that now. That dream he just had…. It felt so surreal yet real at the same time. He wonders if you were actually there, or if it was just a figment of his imagination.

There’s an obvious answer to that question, though. It’s not even worth asking.

You’re gone. Forever. He doesn’t even know where you are. You don’t know where he is either.

He thought of that dream just to relive his own desires. There’s nothing more to it. Everything is still the same. Yet, he couldn’t help but feel some delusional hope that something was different today.

But he should crush that hope before disappointment gets to him again.

Just then, there is a knock in the door. He wonders who it is. As he walks towards the door, he wonders why the prison guards are bothering him. Yet again. It wasn’t like he had done anything over the previous days.

He twists the doorknob, thinking about what he’s going to say this time. Maybe he’ll even punch them in the face.

However, as he pulls the door back, it’s not what he expected at all.

No… maybe being hopeful worked, for once. Maybe the dream was to tell him something.

It’s you.

You’re here.

And if looks could kill, he would just be about dead now.

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