#i’ve experienced the ending what… 7-8? times now?

[arthur-kilgore]

It is such a beautifully human experience to be able to watch the same story play out time and time again and be moved as if it was the first time every time

[copperbadge]

Every time, you guys. Every time I look into alternatives to Lulu.com for self-publishing I come up with “Wow Lulu really is the best of a bad set of options, huh?” 

Recently, Draft2Digital bought Smashwords in order to bring a print book company under their aegis; they’d formerly only done ebooks. I thought I might investigate them as an alternative to Lulu, which I’ve used for about twelve years now. For ebooks I would venture D2D is probably top of the line. For print books they are....not. 

I’m writing this out half so other folks can see it but half so that in the future I can look this up and remind myself of why I’m still with Lulu. 

TLDR: Not only does Draft2Digital want 60% of my print book royalties where Lulu takes 0%, and $30 for a proof that costs me $11 at Lulu, but I also appear to have solved the problem of why Lulu was making me price my books so goddamn artificially high. Which is like. Honestly the best anti-anxiety drug I’ve experienced this week. 

Basically there are a number of elements that go into self-publishing with a print-on-demand service. For some publishers, there’s a “setup fee” which doesn’t really set anything up, it’s just there to be a fee, everything is done by computer on the back end. Traditionally, Lulu has not charged a setup fee. Smashwords used to charge $50, but Draft2Digital currently waives it. I was heartened by that because the setup fee was keeping me from migrating, since I can afford $50 but I balk at knowing I’m paying them $50 for nothing. 

Next is the cost of printing -- what it costs the company in paper, ink, machinery, labor, etc, to just make a book with no profit. Lulu’s price calculus isn’t super clear and I’ve never bothered looking at what the breakdown is, because they’re pretty up-front -- they tell you in the process of setting the book up how much it’ll cost. In this case, a 140-page 6x9 trade paperback, no frills, which is how all my books are printed, is $5. Draft2Digital doesn’t tell you the flat price anywhere but they do offer the breakdown information; it costs $1.22 flat plus $0.0133 per page. So, for a 140 page book, the at-cost is $3.08. So far so good. 

Now, if you’re going to sell through Lulu, the “at cost” is the minimum price. You won’t make any money but you CAN charge just $5 for a $5 book. Any pricing above that is your cut. So -- let’s price this 140 page trade paperback at $13-$15. That’s a bit high to be honest but let’s just see. At Lulu, your take is roughly $6-$8 based on those prices, because you’re just dropping out the cost of printing from the retail price. 

At Draft2Digital, the same 140-page trade paperback, which remember is quoted as costing roughly $1.20 less to print than Lulu charges, gets you $2.75-$3.50 in royalties per book.

....wait, what? 

So now we need to sidetrack a little but I promise it’s for a reason. One of the motivations for looking into a change to Draft2Digital is that I didn’t like that Lulu was setting higher “minimum prices” than I was accustomed to -- they would tell me the book only cost $5 to print but require me to sell it for $12 or similar, and I couldn’t work out why. I’m an idiot but the penny did finally drop: it’s because when you distribute them outside of Lulu (say, on Amazon or Barnes & Noble or similar) your royalties drop like a stone. $7 in royalties purchased through Lulu comes out to like twenty-five cents purchased through Amazon. So Lulu forces you to price the book at a point where you even GET royalties and don’t end up weirdly owing Amazon money. The “global distribution” is what’s driving that minimum up. 

So in price-quoting a competitor I actually solved the problem with Lulu. 

Which is good, because the fun doesn’t stop there. If you want a proof copy of a book from Lulu, it’s the at-cost of the book, plus tax, plus postage. Buying a proof copy of this book from Lulu would cost me $11. Lulu makes you order a new proof copy every time you make a change, which is shady, but usually I only need to make 1-2 changes across the life of a book, so at most the cost will probably be $35 and for that I’ll get three copies of the book. Draft2Digital doesn’t give you an option. If you want a proof pre-publication, it’s $30 flat. If you want to publish and then buy a copy you can, but you can only make one change to the book every 90 days once it’s published. If you want to make more than one change, it’s $25 every time you upload a new version of the manuscript within that 90 day period.

So Draft2Digital’s books cost less to print but they take a massive cut of your royalties out of the retail cost of the book. If the book costs $3 to print, and I price it at $15, that’s $12 in profit on the book. Of that $12, however, I only receive $4. Draft2Digital literally wants 2/3 of my royalties per book. They want $20 more than Lulu to send me a proof copy. If I need to correct the proof, the correction is free, but I’m assuming the second proof will also cost me $30. Any changes after that, within 90 days, will cost $25 plus $30 for a new proof.

Which means my upfront costs at Lulu are about $35 per published book; to do the same thing at Draft2Digital is between $60 and $105 depending on whether I need to make changes after the second proof copy. And even after that, my royalties at Lulu are just about twice what they would be at Draft2Digital per purchase. 

So, well, Lulu it is. And the problem I was having with Lulu is solved if I decide to just retail through Lulu rather than selling globally. Which...selling globally has done two things that I’m aware of:

1. Fucked up my author page so badly on Amazon that one of my books is still attributed to Kathleen Starbuck, and one of her books is for sale on my author page. 

2. Raised the minimum price I’m allowed to set my books at by like, 40%. 

So I think probably what’s going to happen is going forward my books will be for sale only on Lulu. I can still assign them ISBNs and they still will ship worldwide, and the prices will fall significantly. My deepest apologies to those of you who have paid an artificially inflated price for the last few books; I’m going to fix that going forward, I’m going to go in and try to fix it retroactively in the books that are already on Lulu, and if it’s any consolation at least the cash came to me, and TWO THIRDS OF IT didn’t go to Lulu. 

It’s gonna take me a little time, untangling Lulu’s relationship to other retailers is tricky, but eventually the Shivadh Omnibus and Twelve Points should come down significantly in price, and there ought to be a dollar or two drop for the older books as well. 

This is why it always pays to do the math, even if like me you are dreadful at it. 

[dancermk]

HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

[chribby]

pluto in aquarius rambles

Pluto in Aquarius = Power to the People

Pluto = Power

Aquarius = Human, the Water Bearer, rules Groups of people, and demagogues.

I have several predictions based on Pluto in Aquarius. Pluto in Aquarius will be ruled by a Saturn in Pisces when it moves on Jan 20th, 2024... and as we can see, people are receiving reprecussions (Saturn) based on their Beliefs (Pisces)

Previously, I’ve predicted that it would be the Fall of Silicon Valley. In fact, while Pluto was briefly in Aquarius this year, Saturn stationed in Pisces on March 7th (One day before my birthday, lol) and Silicon Valley Bank ended up doing a bank run.

EDIT: 02/23. I just checked. Saturn did go into Pisces 03/07, but Pluto wasn’t in Aquarius until 03/23. I do consider Pluto to rule financial systems, and I do think the Saturn transit did spark the bank run, but I wanted to correct this! I am sorry! Pluto spiked the same bank run on Black Monday 2008, and led to the subprime mortgage crisis. So, Saturn-Pluto, but NOT Pluto in Aquarius. I apologize.

I think it’s fun to use astrology in tandem with what we’re experiencing because as above, so below. But, it’s more fun to be able to recognize the energy that you’re looking at.

So, here’s a little loose list of things that I think will happen during Pluto in Aquarius.

1. Power (Pluto) to the People (Aquarius) = Our reliance on these big corporate structures (Capricorn) will lower and lower, especially as we see ourselves getting punished for speaking about what we believe in. I feel like we will question sources of power, and then look into finding our power within ourselves. I feel like there will be more demagogues lol. But mostly, it will be people turning to their communities.

2. Political Revolutions - Last time Pluto was in Aqua was from 1778-1798 and I swear to god they got that bitch cracking like CRAB LEGS. They had

Irish Rebellion

Settler-Indigenous Wars

Indigenous rebellion against spanish colonization

Haitian Revolution

Northwest Indian War …

Like THEY WASN’T FUCKING PLAYING. So, you already know what time it is. I guess my question is how will the INTERNET play into this?

3. Ass play is about to be as common as kissing in my opinion.

4. Here’s more general predictions lol

cyber crimes, technological terrorism worse than data breaching, pen testing (Pluto = Terrorist activity)

online tombs

cyberpollution

Camgirling is about to change in a new way.

Digital sex work

Digital smut (erotica writers? You’re up)

Digital Decay will be addressed. We will see the first ruined images due to natural jpeg artifact build up

Digital Third Space/Metaverse will be expanded upon. Focusing on a decentralization of both this technology and the need for this “digital third space” will help this from being some terrorist rich kids fantasy.

4. OH AND LIKE I FUCKING SAID. SILICON VALLEY WILL FALL.

5. 3D is up, more focus on 3D. I saw a tweet about that, but I think that a lot of the kids will be more advanced at 3D vs how we as kids went towards digital art? Idk how to make that make sense but yea.

6. Cybertheft. Feels like there is about to be A GLARING VULNERABILITY LOL THAT JUST WENT UNCOVERED UNTIL NOW and it will get EXPLOITED AND TORE TF UP

7. Everybody thinks they’re fuckin Jon Stewart … one thing I haye about us Aquarii we don’t know how to shut the fuck up sometimes…

8. Streamers held the long con enough for people to forget responsible pirating, but this will turn on its head during this transit I think…

9. Looking at the internet….

Pluto rules generations. So pluto in Aquarius will be a new generation. And they will be weird as hell.

Pluto in Scorpio = When World Wide Web was created.

Pluto in Aquarius = WWW Square. And I feel like now, we’re looking at the damages and transformations the internet underwent since the web was created. It feels much more hollow.

I think Pluto Squares tell us how to fix things. Just saying.

This is all I have… for now….

[whateverisbeautiful]

🀄️reflecting on richonne

Seeing there’s a TOWL teaser next week has me real excited. And since it’s always missing-them hours, I just wanted to come on here right quick to revel in some Richonne.

I’ve often said you can’t have Rick without Michonne and vice versa because of how pivotal they are to each others’ journey - and I just had to break down how true this is. See to me, if you love the incredible protagonist of Rick Grimes you really can’t overlook or downplay “Richonne,” because Michonne is so influential to almost every major choice and character development of Rick from Season 3 forward.

Season 3: One of Rick’s big character turning points in season 3 is realizing it does in fact need to be a democracy again. And it’s nearly giving up Michonne and then instantly regretting it that really helps open his eyes and leads to this major character growth in him

Season 4: Rick’s monumental character development this season is transitioning from Farmer Rick to peak Savage Rick. And he officially says goodbye to Farmer Rick during the unforgettable jugular bite against Joe and the Claimers, a moment experienced only by Rick and three others from TF, his closest people Michonne, Carl, and Daryl. And of course, protecting Carl is Rick’s biggest motivation here but knowing those Claimers had horrible plans for Michonne too…None of that was happening on Rick’s watch. Farmer Rick had to go to save Michonne, Carl, and Daryl and thus the feral Savage Rick era was born

Season 5: As one of the seasons with the most fascinating character study of Rick Grimes, this season is all about Rick being on edge and unsure who to trust. But even amidst his mental spiral, he always finds himself trusting Michonne. Rick makes two huge decisions this season - to bring the group to Washington and then to bring the group to Alexandria which greatly impacts the plot going forward. And both times his willingness to take the leap is completely due to Michonne. When she’s vulnerable with him and expresses what she thinks is best, Rick is a real one who trusts her gut even over his own. The two operate as true partners and he lets her lead him and everyone toward what ends up being tf's home for the rest of the series.

Season 6: Rick has two impactful character shifts that occur in 6A & 6B. In the first half, Rick’s journey is about finally embracing the Alexandrians as his own people, and who most helps him see that? Michonne. Especially in that scene on the porch where he looks at her like she’s just pure mesmerizing. It shows Michonne is instrumental in helping Rick understand that they’re catching their breath in here and anything else is excuses. (And Rick's next scene is him helping Tobin, showing he’s listening to her) Then in Rick’s words to Carl at the end of No Way Out, impeccably acted by Andy, his 6A arc concludes with him turning a new leaf as a character and realizing the people of that town really can make it.

And now in 6B, we get a very confident Rick...And you can’t tell me that him finally having the Baddest Chick in the Game isn’t one of the reasons why he’s feeling himself. 😌 Like he is on top of the world once Richonne becomes official. But that confidence turns into a bit of hubris and devastating series-shifting consequences ensue in the finale.

Season 7/8: Andy said it perfectly himself when he referred to Michonne as key in season 7. At the group's lowest point, it’s Michonne, in a flawlessly acted monologue from Danai, who helps Rick fully accept that it’s finally time to fight back against the Saviors, a choice that impacts the whole next half of the season and season 8. And when Rick’s character undergoes a massive turning point as he and Michonne experience the worst pain of losing Carl in S8, Rick slowly but surely comes back to himself after diving off the deep end largely thanks to Michonne’s love and support.

Season 9: Rick’s whole state of mind in season 9 is genuinely hopeful and content as he seems to be in the process of learning to honor the memory of Carl while optimistically building for the future. He believes in the bridge, he believes all the people will come around (because he and Michonne did), and he believes the world can be stable enough for him to have a child with the love of his life. So much of this impactful character development from Rick is a testament to his relationship with Michonne and their ability to help each other heal.

So all that to say, Richonne is so much more than some side love story to the main plot, it’s unequivocally vital, foundational, and influential to the whole TWD series & Michonne is indispensable to Rick’s journey and character growth. Rick Grimes is of course a goated protagonist all on his own…but he didn’t want it to be just him being a boss on his own. He made it clear he wanted Michonne by his side through it all. Because Rick knew what we know - which is that Richonne is absolutely key. 💜

[honey-flustered]

Cruel Little Vixen 7

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Journalist!Reader

Summary: The universe continues to teach you and Eddie some important lessons. Tensions rise when the world becomes aware of the rockstar’s girl. And top it all off, you and Eddie are forced to make an important decision regarding your relationship.

NO READ MORE LINE BREAK ADDED DUE TO GLITCH

A/N: It’s been a tough ass road, but I’m back. I’ve experienced challenges with the last two parts of my story being deleted and having to start over, my mental health’s hung by a fucking thread, I’ve been anxious to post because I feel like my work’s not good enough but ya know what I love writing and it keeps me happy! The series is coming to an end. Just one more part (tried making this the last one but the ending’s too damn long). I cannot wait to finish this because I’ve had so many fic ideas I’ve been meaning to share. I wanna complete requests and ask for some of yall ideas or whatever. I just want to have some fun with this. Any this chapter’s filled with slight rom com elements and tropes. It’s definitely a healing experience for both reader and Eddie. Especially Eddie. It’s a wild ride so please enjoy! Also Happy New Years! 🥳

>>>>>Series Masterlist Part 7 of 8

Word Count: 10.8k

Warnings: overload of fluff and 🌽, heavy flirting, idiots in love, airplane jokes, some angst, brief blood and violence, talks of negligent parents and juvenile detention, hinted abuse of a minor character, smutty smut, kissing/making out, fingering, squirting, handjob, light dirty talk, nipple play, mile high club activities, graphic language, Eddie loves drinking his respect women juice

2 years ago…

“We’re Corroded Coffin and we’re the band your parents wished you never listened to! 2, 3, 4!” Eddie shouts into the mic, counting in time to Gareth’s drumstick taps. The drums to Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” are the first to make its noise before the familiar guitar riff picks up after it.

Then, he sings and the crowd’s loving it.

The former nightclub bartender and now manager of Corroded Coffin, Eugene Neds, spotted great potential in the enigma that was Eddie Munson that night. In a band of 19-year-olds passing off as 21 to perform at a venue much too risqué for kids their age, the man only had eyes for the lead guitarist/singer. Eddie was going to be a star, he was sure of it. Eugene just needed to make sure that he would be the one to make it happen.

The music cuts abruptly. “Hey, asshole! Leave her the fuck alone, alright.” Eddie shouts on the mic, pointing over at the bar. The spotlight lands on the inebriated giant of a man towering over a visibly uncomfortable woman.

“Why don’t you mind your goddamn business?” The large man slurs.

“I’m not so sure it’s your business either, man. She wants absolutely nothing to do with you.” Eddie hops off stage, approaching the man as if he were David in Goliath’s presence.

At that moment, Eddie realized he was tired of running, tired of bullies, and tired of being picked on for being different. Those days have been laid to rest along with all his grievances of high school. The man had since gained the grit needed to face danger head on. It was the day he reclaimed the title, ‘The Freak’.

“You looking for a fight, little guy?” The large man attempts to intimidate, towering over him.

“Well, if you won’t leave her alone…then yes…I am looking for a fight.” Eddie stares daggers up at the man.

Not a second longer, the man’s fist connects with Eddie’s jaw, sending him back against a table with a few glasses being knocked over. Eddie’s wild hair covers over his face. He swipes a thumb over his lips. Blood. Blood that was now seeping from his mouth. The room is quiet, not a peep. But then the sound of laughter. It was manic. Wicked. And craziest of all, it wasn’t coming from the man who’d thrown the first punch.

It was the enigma himself.

So this was what it felt like to be punched? To taste blood? To stand up and fight instead of running? To laugh in the face of danger. And it felt so good.

The metalhead looks up at the giant man. His teeth, bloodied red. A terrifying smile of nightmares. He stands planted on his two feet again.

“You want some more, freak?” The large man says, swinging a fist in the air once again only this time Eddie swiftly ducks out the way. He surges forward at the large man, full speed, sliding from under him so that he is now right behind the man.

Eddie quickly climbs on top of the bar table. “You’re not so big from where I’m standing,” He quips then points at the liquor hose in the bartender’s hands. “Hey, could I borrow that?”

The bartender hands it over. Holding the nozzle over the giant man’s head, Eddie's famous smirk is the only warning. The man could barely register what was going on before the trigger’s pulled, beer spraying and trickling down his head.

The large man was now wet and red with anger. Eddie makes no haste with his next move, spatting blood in the bully’s face and uppercutting him with a kick to his chin. The large man goes down with a loud thud. The room is in an uproar of applause and thus the beer dumping incident became a fan favorite legend. To this day, fans of Corroded Coffin pay homage at concerts, dumping cans of beer on their heads.

The band was soon tossed out of the venue that night and although Eddie’s friends had sung their praises, he couldn’t help but to feel guilty having ruined their biggest gig.

Then, he was approached by that very bartender on his way back to his van. The one who’d soon change the trajectory of his life. The one that promised a life of glitters and gold. Eugene Neds had sold Eddie a dream. A dream that was disguised as a lending hand to the young man.

“I can make Corroded Coffin a household name.” He says, holding out a business card.

A former manager of countless failed bands, Eugene was convinced he’d finally found the kind of talent that would free him of the depressing bore of a penniless 9 to 5. Eddie Munson would be his project. His success story of taking a teenage dirtbag with the attitude and skills and molding him into a sex symbol. Thus creating ‘Francis The Freak’.

But then… YOU came along. The rockstar’s undoing. You were tearing down the walls that were so perfectly built.

Mr. Neds calls it: You’ll be the end of Eddie and his band. The only form of control Mr. Neds has now would be keeping your relationship with Eddie under wraps. He’ll be patient, though. He knows this couldn’t possibly last between you two. Certainly, you were just another pair of legs that captured his short attention span until he eventually got bored.

Mr. Neds snaps out of his thoughts at the sounds of your giggling, eyes looking at the rearview mirror from his seat on the tour bus. You and Eddie were cozied up in the back, him showing you some scars.

“So, that explains the NPC-like behavior of your fans dumping beers on their heads or asking you to spit on them,” You deduce. “I’m glad to be in the know. This’ll be great tying that into my last article.”

“Did you really say NPC? As in Non-Player Character? You little nerd, am I rubbing off on you?” Eddie teases, poking your tummy.

“Hey, I know things.” You laugh, poking him back. “But you shouldn’t solve everything with fists. I’ve never known you to be a fighter.”

“I’m a lover, but I’m no pacifist.”

“You, a lover?”

“Mhm, want me to demonstrate?” His mouth attacks your neck, you squeal in delight.

So lost in each other, you couldn’t have noticed the manager’s demands to the driver to halt the bus. He had grown more and more frustrated at the sight of you and Eddie being so close. He decidedly gets out of his seat, walking down the aisle past the bandmates who could immediately sense something about to go down but all they could do was follow with their eyes as the manager made his way over to you.

“Y/n, Eddie…I’ll need you to test a theory for me. Stand beside one another.” The manager demands, breaking your moment together.

“What’s your point?” Eddie asks, squinting his eyes.

“We need to make sure that you both won’t look so ‘friendly’ with one another,” The manager explains. “The media are bloodhounds. One whiff of the hormones circulating between you would send them into a frenzy and next thing ya know you’re on the cover of yet another magazine.”

“Are you suggesting that the chemistry between us is so intense that remotely standing beside each other would give us away?” You ask, incredulously.

“Precisely.”

“Are you familiar with the term ‘delusional’?” You question rhetorically, causing Eddie to chuckle.

“Not delusional. Perceptive.”

“You weren’t very ‘perceptive’ when Eddie and I got together.” You smirk.

“I’ve suspected. I just chose to ignore it. It only became too difficult to deny when the two of you became sloppy with it.” Mr. Neds scoffs.

“We can totally stand beside each other without being ‘friendly’.” Eddie defends.

“Oh, is that so?” Mr. Neds asks, mockingly. “Because right now, right before my eyes, I see you and Eddie sat extremely close on this loveseat with his hand caressing your thigh…and he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, looking down at the hand that graced your supple skin lovingly. The two of you jump apart as if burned by the other.

“See what I mean,” Mr. Neds lets out a dry laugh. “Now please stand. Both of you.”

“Fine.” You and Eddie mutter in unison.

Standing up at once, your arms knock against each other’s. Your eyes trained at the contact and how close in proximity you both were. You blush, eyes on him. He notices your flustered state, smirking down at you.

“Jesus Christ.” Mr. Neds rubs at his temple, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Oh, they’ve got it bad.” Mel says as he walks in biting nonchalantly into an apple.

“It’s worse than I thought,” The manager groans. “You’re like magnets! You’ll need to stand at least 7 feet apart.”

“7 feet?! How the hell am I supposed to interview and complete my article from 7 feet away?” You argue.

“Anything is possible.” Mr. Neds answers.

“You’re being a real pain in the ass, Eugene.” Eddie says to the 40-something man.

“Welcome to my world,” He retorts. “If 7 feet’s such a big deal then I’ll be reasonable. 5 feet. No more negotiations.”

“This is so stupid.” Eddie shakes his head.

“Don’t be so upset, brother. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder or some bullshit like that. It could actually be quite romantic.” Mel chimes in.

“Mel…get the hell outta here.” Eddie and Mr. Neds sneers together.

Mel exits, a middle finger up in the air while the other brings the apple to his lips.

“Now if we’re going to work together and keep the peace,” The manager begins. “We need to do this my way. No, ‘ands’, ‘ifs’, or ‘buts’ about it. We’ll be at the airport to catch a plane to New York soon so—.”

“Whoa,” Eddie interrupts. “I thought we were going back home?”

“Well, I’ve booked a performance for Corroded Coffin to attend. It was an offer that I couldn’t refuse. A Holiday Parade! And it won’t just be televised in Hawkins like you’re used to. It’ll be all over America. No worries about rehearsals either. Just do everything exactly how you did at Mantra•esque. Ever since that performance, word’s been traveling about the new hot band in town. You’ll have an interview with the hosts of the parade right after so please be on your best behavior.”

“Why am I just now hearing about this?” Eddie’s voice raises.

“Well, you would’ve heard about it along with the boys if you hadn’t snuck out last night.”

“I have even caught my breath yet, man.”

“You had countless nights to rest. You spent them sneaking around with your…girlfriend. Eddie, I only ever want what’s best for you. If I hadn’t discovered you, where do you think you would’ve been?” Mr. Neds rests a heavy hand on Eddie’s shoulder. A visual much akin to that of a demon resting on gullible shoulders, pleading for their victim to sign away his rights. “You would have still been living in that shitty trailer park while your uncle picked up 12 and 16 hour shifts just to keep a roof over your heads. Remember, you’re not doing this for yourself. This is survival. You understand I only mean well…do you?”

Eddie’s jaw clenches, a quick nod.

“I knew you would. It’s nothing personal, kid. It’s just what they call ‘business as usual’. It’ll only be for a few more days and then you could enjoy all the time you need in Hawkins before the next tour.” The manager pats his back before making his way back up front to inform the driver to get back on track.

Sitting back on the little loveseat, you climb into Eddie’s lap while your arms wrapped around his neck for a hug. “He shouldn’t be allowed to speak to you that way.”

“He’s right, though.” Eddie huffs, caressing your back.

You felt yourself becoming angry for him, pulling away to look him in the eye. “He’s wrong. With or without him, you could do anything. Anyone could’ve seen that light in you. I have. You’ve got something special and no fucking manager could take that away from you, okay.”

Eddie’s stoic expression softens into a warm smile. “Look at you being all protective. Making you my girlfriend’s made you all soft.” He chuckles.

“No one messes with my man,” You shrugged with a smile. “He talks to you like that again and I’ll knock him down a peg or two.”

“That’s very cute,” He kisses the space between your eyebrows. “But you don’t have to defend me, ya know. I’m a big boy.”

“What? You think I couldn’t do it or something?” You ball your fists into your sides.

“Oh, no. My hesitancy is more concerned with how badly you’ll hurt his ego. I still need the man to be able to stand on his two feet if he’s getting this band going.” Eddie jokes.

“But…i-is that what you want? To keep this going?” You asked, twiddling with your thumbs.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

“What about taking a break? You’re going to perform in New York then you’ve got Europe in a week or so. It just seems like a lot.”

“It does seem like a lot. But if I have you beside me, it wouldn’t be so bad,” He catches himself. “In New York, I mean.”

Eddie made sure to include that last part not wanting the inevitable conversation to be brought up. Eventually, it will. As you’ve mentioned, the tour for Europe is approaching. The next time you’ll see each other again wouldn’t probably be for another 6 months. Maybe more. But what really affected him was the idea that you wouldn't think to consider going on tour with him. Especially since a little before bed last night, Eddie had asked you a question that tested everything between you two and all you could do was ignore it and say your goodnight.

“You want me to go to New York with you?” You asked.

He shrugs, shyly. “Well, yeah. I thought it was obvious. You’re fine to say ‘no’.” That response was meant for both situations: New York and Europe.

You take a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go with you…” Eddie’s eyes lit up until you finished the last part of your sentence. “…to New York.”

“Y-yeah,” He clears his throat then echoes. “To New York.”

————

It was greatly in your favor that Eddie’s manager had decided to keep up with his “5 feet apart” rule, sitting you in separate seats across the aisle from one another. Why? Because you couldn’t bring yourself to talk about “the inevitable conversation”. Eventually…you’ll give your answer. Just not now. Not when things are going so well between you two.

You bury your head in your journal not exactly writing anything of importance, simply scribbling away to keep yourself from wondering if he was looking at you. But curiosity gets the best of you, so you peek up from your journal and catch Eddie’s eyes on you, too. You both look away at once, you resume your doodling nervously.

When you went to look over your shoulder this time, Eddie made a face silly enough to make you giggle and roll your eyes. He points at the journal in your hand, gesturing you to slide it over. You check your surroundings to make sure no one’s looking before doing so.

You waited as he proceeded to write something down. Then, he turned the journal to face you. In big letters: “Hi.”

You smile, waving and mouthing a “Hi” back.

He writes something down again and turns it over to face you. “Writing you here so Neds doesn’t try to listen in.”

You nod to confirm that you understand.

He writes. “What were you writing about?”

He could’ve turned the page to see exactly that but he didn’t wish to invade your privacy. You do the honors. Turning the page to which you scribbled different drawing variations of his name. You’re a little embarrassed to show him that he’s all you’ve been thinking about. But then he smiles eager to show you what he’d been reading.

He holds up his book, opening it to the page where his thumb held it open and reveals a polaroid photo of you looking up at him and him, down at you on the Manta•esque stage. This was his way of letting you know he’s thinking about you, too.

You smiled, writing him back. “How’d you get that?”

“Junie.”

“The camera guy?”

“Yep. Begged him to take at least one picture of you for me. It’s my favorite. I was going to share it with you but, selfishly, I want to keep it for myself.”

Is this really the same guy I met in that dressing room some weeks ago?

“Lovely view we have up here.” He writes.

You shoot him deadpan stare, not amused by the airplane joke. He tugs at the collar of his shirt in feigned nervousness before gesturing for the journal again. He writes. “Okay, I can see how that aviation joke went over your head.”

Still unamused. You wrote back. “I really appreciate corny jokes but these are just painfully bad.”

“Are you saying my jokes didn’t…land?”

“Please stop. If you’re going to tell airplane jokes, at least tell the Wright ones.”

Now he’s the one to look at you unamused and confused.

You scribbled quickly to explain yourself. “Get it? Wright. Like the Wright brothers. The first ones to fly an airplane?”

“Sorry, but your knowledge of world history is lost on me. I failed that class miserably.”

“I guess you can say it went over your head.”

“You can’t just repeat my joke. Joke stealing’s no laughing matter.”

Okay, that tickled you a bit. Smiling to yourself, you hadn’t realized Eddie passing you the notebook once again, until you felt the pages brush your arm.

“Think you can meet me in the restroom in 5?”

You scoff out loud. “I hope you're not thinking about what I think you’re thinking about.”

“I wanna talk.” He simply writes.

How could three words be so frightening? So ominous? Your heart pounds hard, daring to jump out of your chest.

“Are we not talking now? What would you need to talk about that can’t be said here?”

You anticipated his reply. Leaning over your seat, trying to peek but more so averting your eyes. You mindlessly picked at the skin around your fingernails, nerves getting the best of you.

With a solemn face, he holds out the journal to you. You meet his eyes then down at his hands, hesitating to reach for the book. The regretful look on Eddie’s face gave away that he was second guessing what he’d written down. When your fingertips grazes it, it falls out of his hand with an audible slap to the ground.

The two of you scramble to reach for it, kneeling down. Your hands accidentally touch in the attempt to take the book for yourselves. Instead of pulling away, you both ceased your frantic movements. Eddie’s thumb caressing the palm of your hand. You focus on this action then look into his big brown eyes.

The bing of the attendant assistance button pulls you out of the trance. Taking the notebook, you stand on your two feet and hug it to your chest. With a stern nod of confirmation, you stride your way down the first class aisle towards the restroom.

You shut the door behind, back rested against it as you let out a breath you weren’t aware you were holding. Eyes closed, you peel the notebook away from you. Your hands are outstretched in front of you and when you were sure it was directly in your field of vision, you opened your eyes and read.

“Europe.”

So it began. The inevitable conversation. There’s rhythmic knock and you were sure it was him, stepping away from the door and facing it. He opens it enough to let him slide through before he closing it behind him quietly.

“Hi.” He breathes out.

“Hi.” You say in quick breath as if you were scared to breathe at all.

“I guess you read the note.”

You don’t say a word, nodding tentatively.

“Y/n, I—“

“Why’re you calling me that?” You interrupt.

“You mean…your first… name?” He says, eyes squinting in confusion.

“Yeah. You usually call me some stupid pet name. What are we on first name bases now?”

“I thought you didn’t like it?” His eyebrow raises.

“It’s grown on me.” Your face grows hot as you cross your arms defensively over your chest. “Besides, do you just call me those names simply because I don’t like it.”

“At first, yeah. But I do it now because I like you.”

Your face grows even hotter, hoping he doesn’t see the effect he has on you right now. You should be upset, girl! “So, what gives? Why aren’t you calling me a vixen or a babe or whatever the fuck?”

“I just figured it’d be more appropriate for what I’ve got to say,” He explains before taking a deep breath. “I’d like to---”

You couldn’t bring yourself to hear much more of it. Okay. So he wants to talk about the tour in Europe? What exactly does he want from you? You couldn’t possibly give him an answer he’d be happy to hear.

“I’m sorry,” You cut him off again. “I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to forget. To pretend that there was no tour so that I can enjoy being in the present, being with you. But now I know that sometimes…it’s okay to face the inevitable. So…I think I’m ready now.”

“You’re ready?” He says, eyes shimmering despite the dimly lit environment.

“Yes,” You confirmed, lowering your head to keep him from seeing your tears. “I know what you’re going to say. And you’re right. We should break up and—”

“What the hell are you talking about? I never mentioned breaking up. I hadn’t mentioned much at all since you kept interrupting.”

“You didn’t need to mention it. The signs are all there.”

“Really? Because I’m trying to see them for myself. They must be—I don’t know—invisible. Nonexistent.”

“You can’t possibly think I can just throw my career away to be some groupie for you.”

“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.” He jokes.

You roll your eyes. “I can’t go on that tour with you, Eddie. I have my dream and you have yours. I can’t put my work on the line when I’ve gotten this far.”

“So long distance not a thing?”

“I couldn’t do that to you. It wouldn’t be right. You’re gonna be a star. You’ll meet plenty of women who’d want you. I don’t want to hold you back. I just won’t do it. You deserve to be free to be with whoever you want.”

“You’re un-fucking-believable, Y/n,” He towers over you. “You have no right to make these decisions for me. That’s for me to decide. I’m tired of people telling me what to do, how to feel, what to think. I may not be the brightest but I’m not stupid. What about what I want?”

“What do you want?!”

“You, woman! I want you!”

“If you want me because you think I’ll be this doting girlfriend of your dreams who’s at your side at all times, who ‘sits down and shuts up’, constantly obeying your wishes; I am not that kind of girl.”

“Okay.” He shrugs, demeanor cool and collected.

“Okay? As in…”

“Okay, as in ‘I’m not asking you to be the girl of my dreams’. You already are, goddamn it. As stubborn, self-righteous and bitchy as you can be, I admire every part of you. Good or bad. I want you to have control over your own decisions and be unfiltered as you are. But sometimes, you do need to learn when to shut the hell up and listen to what I’m trying to tell you.”

You began to seethe at his words, opening your mouth to protest only for him to put his palm over it. He shushes you, his free hand putting a finger to his lips. “I’m gonna remove my hand now. You’ll be quiet, right?” He searches your glass-like eyes. You nod slowly, your stare holding sincerity.

“Good girl,” He praises, pulling his hand away. He straightens his composure as if to prepare himself for his own news. “I won’t be going on tour. I’ll follow you.”

Now you’re shaking your head at him. “No. You couldn’t. This is your chance!”

“There’ll be plenty of tours in the future. We can have time for each other until then. Get to know each other well enough so that you’ll start to believe me when I say there’s no one else I’d want besides you.”

Your eyes, the size of saucers. “Are you out of your fucking mind?! I would never ask you to do something like that.”

“That’s the thing. It’s my choice. I’m practicing this thing called ‘autonomy’. It’s quite refreshing actually.”

“It’s stupid!”

“That’s just your opinion.”

“It’s 100% fact,” You notice him approaching you slowly and closely. He’s got that devilish grin playing on his lips. “Stay away from me. 5 feet apart, remember?”

You place a hand on his chest, stopping any attempt for him to move further. He looks down at your shaky hand. He knows it’s futile, so he laughs. “We followin’ rules now?”

“I said, stay the fuck away, Munson.” You squeaked.

“That doesn’t sound very confident,” He chuckles darkly. “You sure you want me to stay away?”

You let out a shaky breath. He bites his lip. This shouldn’t excite him as much as it did, but he was HARD. And it didn’t help that the turbulence brought his attention to your full breasts bouncing temptingly in his gaze. Even covered by your scantily clad tank top, it was see-through enough to leave little to the imagination. He grasps your wrist, pulling your hand off his chest to hold.

He knew exactly how to push your buttons. You hate to admit it, but you were turned on, too. The wetness pooling in your underwear was undeniable.

“I think you like it when I’m this close,” He lets go of your wrist, testing the waters and taking another step. This time you don’t stop him. “I’m sure you remember the way I make you feel when my hand is between your legs.”

“Eddie…” You pleaded.

“You know what else I think, you wanted me to follow you the whole time. Is that why you ask if I wanted to keep the tour going? Why you’ve made me wait hand and foot for an answer? So, you can break me.”

“Not true.” You whimpered.

“Then, you manipulate me into thinking I’m breaking up with you,” He laughs incredulously. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, little vixen. I thought you were better than that,” His fingers coil around your neck tight, but not tight enough to cut off any air circulation. “But you couldn’t get rid of me that easily. Even if you were to leave me right now, you wouldn’t be able to forget me. You’d still feel me here.”

He cups your mound and your mouth drops, knowing that your cover was blown. You were sure that he’d feel you soaking your underwear. It was a blessing and a curse that you decided to wear a skirt today.

“We shouldn’t.” You gasped as he squeezed you down there enough to feel his rings digging into your cotton panties.

Oh yes, we should!

His lips ghosts over the shell of your ear. “You’ve broken me, kitten. Now’s my turn to break you.”

“Let me go.” You whispered weakly.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” He says, tone rich and deep. “There is no letting you go. You’d think I’d ever let another man touch you like this.”

He rolls a thumb over your nipple, perked up for him to tend to. A small moan escapes your lips, causing you to bite them in an attempt to cease any more sounds.

“I couldn’t even begin to imagine someone else hearing those pretty sounds eaving your lips,” With the hand still cupping your face, he swipes his thumb over your full lips and caresses the slightly-healed scar. “Couldn’t even bring myself to use your moans in my songs cause they’re meant for my ears only.”

“How do you think I feel? I get nauseous just imagining you with another girl,” You admit, eyes staring up in hopeless surrender to him. You grow as intensely possessive as him. Your bodies are so close, chests flushed together. Nails digging into his shoulders, you lay a desperate kiss on his lips that makes him feral. “I’m not usually the jealous type but I want you all to myself.”

“You have me.” He whispers, biting down on your soft bottom lip as he cups your butt and guides you to straddle his thigh. Slipping your panties to the side, he presses his thigh into your now exposed core. You knew exactly what he wanted, grinding against the fabric of his jeans. The rough material of the denim against your clit was a delicious surprise to you.

Eddie slips his tongue into your mouth and you immediately suck on the appendage. It felt like you were so in sync with the rhythm of your bodies. Your moans into the kiss competing with one another.

You loved when you got to hear the effect you had on him even without him being inside you. Your hands travel down to the dip in his back, pulling him closer (if it were even possible to be closer than you already were).

You ride his thigh, foreheads against one another and eyes locked. Noticing the erection straining against his jeans, you palm and squeeze it. He thrusts into your hand, pursuing further contact. The two of you work to unbutton his jeans, lowering the zipper until the pants loosened enough. Spitting into your hands, you dip it past the spandex of his boxers and free him of his restraints. You jerk him in your hands at the same tempo you moved your hips against him.

“I don’t want anyone else to touch you like this,” You pant. “Wanna be the only one.”

“I don’t want anyone else hearing how amazing you look you cum,” Removing his thigh away from between your legs, he shoves two thick fingers into you. You gasp which then melds into a moan at the feeling of being stretched so suddenly. Your eyes roll to the back of your head until Eddie snaps you out of it, gripping your chin and forcing you to face him again. “Eyes on me, little vixen.”

The feeling of his fingers, which were perfectly long enough to hit depths that even your own fingers couldn’t reach, drove you into a level of high you were scared to reach for. You tug his cock harder, faster in your hand and feel the precum coat your fingers with added lubrication.

Your stares grew intensely along with the sounds of your heavy breathing. You were getting lightheaded, knowing that the end was soon approaching.

“Want you inside me.” You begged, not caring enough that you were in an airplane restroom.

“Unh…fuck…not here,” He grunts. “Next time I fuck you will be at my place, in my bed so my sheets could smell like you.”

He wiggles a finger in you, teasing the sensitive trigger. His fingers are shot out of you and you’re squirting before you could even recognize that you’ve come.

“Holy shit, holy shit!” You squeal, vision going white. You convulse under him, hearing him groan and the familiar sticky feeling of his essence running in your hands.

You both cling onto each other moments after, his head to your chest feeling your heart beating erratically. When Eddie finally peels off of you, your body grows cold mourning the loss of his warmth. He cleans the two of you up, taking his time, cleaning between your legs and running a wet paper towel on the palms of your coated hands. He wordlessly watches your eyes tracking his hands, before placing a kiss to your now spotless fingers.

“You ready to go out there?” He asks.

“Could we walk out together?” You curl an arm around his, batting your lashes. You know it’s a risky thing to ask.

“Sure, babe.” A big warm smile plastered on his face.

When he feels as if you’re ready, he gives you a reassuring look before unlocking the door and stepping out. Undeniably, you were sure there would be eyes on you. So, releasing a breath, you walk down the aisle hand in hand with your heads high, ignoring the hushed whispers between passengers.

As the two of you approach the section where Corroded Coffin‘s seated, Mr. Neds looks back furiously in contrast to your blissed out states.

Instead of sitting in his “assigned” seat, Eddie sits beside you, putting an arm around you and smirking at the manager.

“Something wrong…Eugene?” Eddie mocks.

“Really? In the restroom? Are you forgetting we have 15 other passengers with us in a section small enough to hear someone’s heartbeat?” He replies through gritted teeth.

“She was quiet enough. As much as she could, anyway.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Very.”

“I’ll enjoy myself, too, someday. Currently, I’m thinking of how great that tour in Europe will be for you. It's a shame Y/n’s decided she won’t be joining us, though.” Mr.Neds says sarcastically.

“Don’t be surprised if that tour has no effect on me whatsoever. Almost like I’m not there.” Eddie retorts.

The two of them exchanged heated glares at one another. You sigh, sinking down in your seat.

————

It took longer than expected to arrive due to the weather conditions. A day and some hours and about 2 plane transfers to be concise. By the time you’d touchdown, it was practically evening but you couldn’t wait to get off the plane. You’ve never been to New York but you and Chrissy have talked about one day moving there together to make names for yourselves.

Despite Eddie clearly being exhausted from all the performances and trips, your joy rubbed off on him and soon he was just as determined to explore the big city as you.

Entering the terminal, you rush up to the big glass windows to stare out at the bustling streets. It’s really cold but no snowfall just yet.

You felt Eddie’s body pressed up against you, shivering enough to make you shake along with him.

“You okay, Eds?”

“Not really. I’m not dressed for this kind of weather. Guess fashionably torn shirts and tight jeans just aren't enough.My only saving grace is my leather jacket.”

You felt more bodies lean into you for warmth. The boys in the band huddling for warmth since you're the only one sporting a faux fleece coat.

“Hey! She’s off limits.” Eddie growls.

“Aw, come on, bruv. I’m practically naked in this top.” Judas says, pressing hard into your shoulder.

“Yeah, sharing’s caring.” Mel chimes in.

“If there’s anything you fuckers should know about me is that I don’t like sharing.” Eddie says pulling you into his body only for the men to follow after.

“Can’t we all just go shopping and get you all some decent clothing? Not rockstar-related?” You say, voice strained from being crushed between them.

“Being a star means sacrificing comfort for style.” Mr. Neds answers.

“That isn’t fair,” You protest. “You wouldn’t want them catching colds before their performances, would you? They need warm clothes.”

Mr. Neds stares you down then up at the boys who defensively reciprocated hostile stares at him.

“Fine. The new tour bus is awaiting us outside. We need to board it quickly or else—“

“Oh my god! It’s Corroded Coffin!” A voice rings through the terminal and soon all eyes around the terminal land on your group. There’s a beat of silence before screams and heavy thuds of feet fill the air. The fans sprint determinedly towards you.

Security immediately pushes you all outside of the terminal, blocking an entrance. The doors of another unmanned entrance burst open as floods of people come crashing through, running towards the tour bus.

You were paralyzed, shocked by the amount of people rushing over until you felt a hand take yours and tug you inside the bus. Another group of bodyguards standing between the doors to keep the crowd from hopping on top of the large vehicle. As best as they could the 4 bodyguards shoo away the crowd before hopping in and the driver quickly pulls off. Everyone on the bus, panting from the exertion of escaping.

“Look at that! Just a small town band, now your name’s being heard in even more places. Told you I’d make Corroded Coffin a household name.” Mr. Neds says proudly.

You exchanged a look with Eddie, who groaned at the manager’s lack of awareness. With stardom came lack of privacy. You felt a foreboding feeling that somehow your privacy would be compromised as well.

—————

“What do you think of this?” Eddie steps out of the dressing room, a man disguised. His outfit consisted of some light gray sweatpants, white kicks, and a basic white long sleeve shirt under his leather jacket. To top it off, his signature wilf curls had been stuffed into his black skully hat for better effect.

“You look great but wouldn’t you want to dress in coordination with your band?” You inquire.

Eddie’s bandmates had done the opposite of dressing casually. Going for the flashiest, expensive clothing.

“Nah, they’ll just end up getting us chased again,” Eddie laughs before looking over his shoulders then whispering. “I’m thinking we ditch ‘em.”

“Eddie…” You began but then suddenly you felt like you were in the mood for an adventure. “Know what…I’m ready for anything. What’d you have in mind?”

He’s taken aback. “The good girl’s looking for trouble?”

“I don’t have to look far. You’re the embodiment of it.” You tease.

“Correct as always, my dear.” He says in a silly posh accent, taking your hand and guiding you to sneak past the guards.

Then, you hear the sound of Eddie’s manager yelling from behind you. “Stop those two!”

You turn to your boyfriend, eyes wide. “Run.”

Next thing you knew, you’re both gunning it out the shopping mall, the bodyguards close behind.

To anyone on the outside, you were simply a rowdy couple caught doing something bad enough to be chased by men in black. After a couple twists and turns around the corner and a few “watch where ya goings”, Eddie leads you down the stairs of a subway station. You were sure you’d lost them until you saw them treading down the stairs a few seconds after.

Eddie pulls out a subway card from his pocket.

“Where’d you get that?” You questioned, panting as you ran.

“I swiped it off one of the guards,” Eddie laughs, also panting. “My dad was a pro pickpocketer.”

“We’ll need to unpack that sometime.”

Swiping the card in the machine, Eddie pushes through the turnstiles but when he swipes the card for your entrance, an error message shows up explaining that you have to wait at least 3 minutes for the next swipe. After a couple tries of the turnstiles not budging, you look over your shoulder and notice the guards closing in.

“What do I do?” You panic.

“Jump over!” He holds out his arms.

Grabbing either side of the gate, you hop over the turnstiles and into his arms just as the men reached you. The two of you resume running, this time having some distance from the guards.

As if your prayers had been answered, a train makes its stop at your station. Rushing in, you and Eddie gloat at the approaching bodyguards as the doors shut and the train pulls away. Clinging to the hand rail above you, you both pant in exhaustion which quickly morphed into laughter.

“You’re a bad influence.” You tease, hitting his shoulder lightly.

“You love it.” He retorts.

The words “you” and “love” in the same sentence. It is so strange that you hung onto them at this moment like they had any meaning outside of its context. But what would it be like to hear those words in a different arrangement? One where it felt more of a confession rather than a dismissive play on words.

Your hand slips caused by the jutting train, sending you out of your thoughts and straight into Eddie’s free arm.

“Geez, kitten. If you wanted a hug, you could’ve just asked,” He jokes. “You don’t have to throw yourself at me.”

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you squeeze tight, cheeks squished against his chest. “I could use one.”

He melts into your embrace with an arm around you while the other keeps you both planted to the ground. It doesn’t matter to him that you were in a crowded train where anyone could spot you together because Eddie felt like he'd taken a trip in a time machine.

He’s like a teenager all over again. Sneaking around and running from the trouble he’s caused, but most of all, he felt this way being with you. Maybe he didn’t get that chance to impress you back then… but he has you now.

So lost in you, he hadn’t registered the light tap on his shoulder until accompanied by a said, “Munson?” From a familiar voice. Eddie turns around and his eyes widened in disbelief.

“Emerson?”

“Holy shit! It is you! Almost didn't recognize you with the hat,” A more mature Gareth stood in your presence. The two boys go in for a bear hug while talking over each other in their excitement. “You look great!”

“Can’t say the same for you, man. You look like shit.” Eddie laughs.

“Fuck off,” Gareth laughs. “I just got off my shift. What are you doing in New York?”

“I should be asking you the same. Hadn’t heard from you or Jeff in 2 years.”

“We moved to New York. They say it’s where everyone’s making a name for themselves.”

“You guys still make music?”

“Hell yeah, we do,” Gareth nods. “Ya know ever since, the band got separated. We knew we couldn’t stop rocking. You wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“Good to hear that, bro.”

“And what about you? What’s gotcha in the big city? Tour, maybe.”

“Not exactly a tour. Just a performance and an interview.”

“Aw shit, man. That’s wicked as hell. Rockstar life’s been treating you good it seems. I bet you get tons of chicks,” Gareth says excitedly, ignorant to Eddie’s panicking glare. “How many girls have you—“

He’s interrupted by you clearing your throat stepping out from behind Eddie. “Hello, Emerson.”

He gasps, pointing between the two of you. “Y/n…Eddie…you two are together?”

“Yep, she’s my girl.” Eddie curls an arm around your waist.

“Wow, I’m honestly surprised considering your first article on him. But Eddie did always have a little thing for you back in high school. I’m sure he made it his mission to win you over.”

“S-shut up, dickhead.” Eddie stutters, blushing.

“You read my article?” You ask, a smile creeping up on your lips.

“Oh, yeah. Everyone’s talking about it especially since Corroded Coffin’s performance at Mantra•esque. If ever I need exposure, I’m calling you for an article on mu band. Speaking of which,” Gareth searches through his jeans pocket, pulling out a flier. “You guys should stop by at this Battle of the Bands event tonight at 10. That’s in a couple hours from now so you won’t have to go back and forth until then. It’s at this cool ass venue they call a ‘speakeasy’ in Koreatown. You’ve gotta have a password and everything to get in that shit. Jeff and I will be performing along with our new guitarist, Brody. You’ll dig him. He’s chill.”

You look in the corner of your eye, feeling Eddie tense beside you at the mention of the new member.

“Our band’s called ‘TSNP’,” Gareth continues. “Thou Shall Not Pass. Will you be there, Eds?”

“I…could try. It’s just that I’ll be busy with rehearsals. So, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it, man.” Eddie lies.

“Oh…right. Well, that sucks,” A hint of disappointment in his tone. “Jeff would’ve been super stoked to see you. Sid, too. But I understand you're a big rockstar now.”

There’s silence between them. You shake your head at the men too prideful in expressing their true feelings despite supposedly being best friends.

The rest of the trip remained this way until the train halts to a stop at another station. When the doors open, Gareth makes his way over to them, stopping in his tracks and turning on his heel to look over at his friend one last time.

“When you left, we stopped making music for a while. Just didn’t feel the same. Then, I heard your song on the radio and it brought me back. It would’ve been really great if you had some time to see us play,” Gareth scans Eddie’s features and when he doesn’t get a reaction from him, he sighs. “Have a good night.” Sending you a small wave, he steps out and train’s moving forward again.

You turn to look at Eddie, arms crossed and disappointed. ”There are no rehearsals. It’s not fair to lie to him like that nor is it fair for you not to come and support. They’re your best friends. You have your band, why can’t they?”

“It’s not like I’m the one who chose to replace ‘em.”

“I know. But it’s okay to admit when something hurts,” You give him a small smile to lighten the mood. “I’m sure it hurt them having to make the decision to replace you just as much as it hurt you performing on a big stage without them. They’re chasing their dreams, too. It doesn’t mean they don’t want you to be a part of it. He did invite you, didn’t he? It’s like he said you’re the reason he was brought back.”

“You’re right.” He sighs.

“Of course, I am. I’m always right,” You tease then solemnly say. “No one’s gonna take that bond you all share. Not unless you continue to push them away.”

He nods, not saying a word. Thinking things over until the train makes another abrupt stop. The two of you exit hand in hand into the unexplored territory.

————

You were a lot more appreciative of the quiet moments you and Eddie sometimes had to yourselves. Where you got bask in the intimacy of normalcy. Lately, ever since Corroded Coffin's popularity, it’s constantly felt as if there were people lurking in the shadows, waiting on your next move.

Although, you must say it’s hard basking in the glory with your boyfriend’s face plastered on billboards around the city.

“Your manager’s not entirely wrong,” You say, pointing at the billboard. “Look at you guys up there. You'll probably be as big as Kiss someday.”

“You flatter me…but no,” He pats your head. “They’re untouchable.”

“I mean it, though. You shook the world. I can’t imagine you wanting to leave it behind now. I thought you wanted this tour.”

“I know what you’re trying to do here and I appreciate you considering my career but I’ve got my priorities straight. It took some thinking—not much—but I didn’t need a lot of time to realize I’d rather be with you.”

You try to contain the butterflies fluttering within you. “Now who’s become soft?”

“Shut it,” He laughs, pulling you against him and planting a kiss on your lips then neck until you suddenly pull away. “Did I do something wrong?”

You take him by the shoulders, guiding him to do a 180 degree turn. “There’s Coney Island in the distance. Wanna go?”

“I’m up for it. But just so you know, I like scary rides.”

“Aw, you don’t have to concoct a scheme to get me to cling to you, baby. I like scary rides, too,” Hands clasped behind your back, you teasingly walk circles around him then ahead towards the direction of the bright lights competing with the starry sky. You look over your shoulder and say, “I’ll still hold onto you, though… you’d like.”

He dramatically fakes offense, resting a hand over his heart. “I’m insulted that you would think I’d stoop so low. When would I ever deny the chance for you to hold onto me?”

“Then, what’re you standing all the way back there for? Come here and let me hold you.” You shout from behind you. Something about today made you feel extremely flirtatious. Maybe it was for the reason that Eddie was incognito, allowing you the chance to unabashedly enjoy each other’s company.

Eddie’s eyes now trained on the sway of your hips. “Just a second. I’m enjoying my view.”

You giggle. He rushes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, rocking you side to side. Your cute little game of cat and mouse comes to an abrupt end when you both enter the theme park and are met with scattered patrons all over the park with their heads buried in a magazine…with your faces on them.

“No.” You say, cupping your hands over your mouth in shock.

“Jesus H. Christ.” Eddie voices his frustration, eyes squeezed shut.

“That bastard,” You say through gritted teeth. You would have said that it was your fault for posting the article regarding Cole’s scandal. But you hadn’t gotten the chance to publish it, yet. “He was going to post it regardless of whether I’d accept his terms.”

You spot a nearby telephone pole. “I’m calling him and giving him a piece of my goddamn mind,” You say, strutting towards the payphone when Eddie grips your arm. You sneer a “what” at him.

“It’s not worth it. He’ll just try to provoke you which’ll then provoke me.”

You groan, running your hands over your face. “What do we do?”

“The only thing we can do: accept it.”

“Should we leave?”

“No. We’ll enjoy our time here while we can because as soon as we go back. We face reality.” Eddie holds out his hand.

You take it, exhaling and proceeding forward. “Okay but as a heads up, I’m definitely going to take down that man.”

“By all means, crush him,” Your boyfriend encourages. “Now let’s make you forget.”

“How do you suppose we do that?”

“Ferris Wheel, possibly. It’s the only ride without a giant line to wait in. We could talk…and other things.”

You snort. “What ‘things’ could you possibly do on a ferris wheel?”

He simply smirks, walking ahead of you this time. The boy is a menace.

You were considerably glad no one had recognized you from the magazine despite a good amount of park goers including the person operating the ferris wheel having the magazine in hand. After waiting in line patiently, it was your turn to board the ferris wheel car and take your seats.

“Some much needed alone time.” Eddie exhales his relief, both your heads thrown back against the wall of cart in exhaustion.

Not soon after exclaiming this, you both hear the sound of gum popping which causes you to raise your heads simultaneously. Seated in the chair across was a child, somewhere between the ages of 7-9, smacking away at her gum and kicking her feet.

“Hi!” She says, cheerfully.

“Hi, sweetie,” You return the greeting. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Beverly. Also Bev. I’m 8 years old! What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/n. That’s Eddie.” You point to Eddie who seemed uncomfortable.

“He looks scared. Are you scared of the ride, Eddie? It’s not scary. See?” Beverly gestures to herself seated.

“You okay, Eddie?” You asked, concerned.

He leans over, whispering to you as not for the little girl to hear. “It’s just…little kids freak me out, ya know. They always ask so many questions, forcing me to question my own existence.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take it from here,”You turned your attention back to the little girl. “Beverly, what are you doing here all alone? Where are your parents or guardians?”

“I wanted to ride the ferris wheel. Mommy said I couldn’t ride because it was bad. But I really wanted to.”

“Sweetie, it’s not okay to disobey your mother. Especially when she means well. She’s probably worried sick looking for you. I have an idea. Once this ride’s over, I’ll help you find her.”

“But she’ll be so angry.”

“Rightfully so, sweetie. But she’ll only be mad because she loves you.”

“So I can’t stay here?”

“You can’t run away from your problems. There’s a time where you’ve gotta face ‘em head on,” You were thinking maybe you should practice what you preach considering that running is exactly what you’ve been doing. “Tell ya what? I will have a talk with your mother to smoothen things over so she wouldn’t be too angry.”

“You promise?” She says, outstretching her arm and holding out her pinky.

“Promise.” You intertwine your pinky with hers.

“So when do you think we’ll get off this ride?” She asks.

“A few minutes or so.” You answered.

“Really? Even when it’s standing still.”

“Standing still?” Your eyes bugged out, looking over at Eddie who was just the same.

“Fuck! The Ferris Wheel’s stopped!” He exclaims.

“No swearing, Eds. Let’s not corrupt the kid.”

“Did you hear what I said?” He groans, standing up in the cart and walking back and forth.

“Yes! And could you please stop that? You’re wiggling the cart around.”

“I can’t help it. I hate confined spaces.”

“It’ll be okay,” You reassure him. “I’m sure it won’t be long before help.

The sound of a safety horn rings and then the click of a bullhorn. “Passengers, we’re experiencing some technical difficulties. Please allow 30 minutes for help to arrive and another 30 minutes to repair this issue. Please stay put and be safe. Thank you.”

“Well, that’s just fantastic.” Eddie throws his hands up before sinking down to the floor, head in his hands.

You sit beside him. “I didn’t know you were claustrophobic.”

“I’m not but sometimes confined spaces remind me of a certain point in my life…Juvie.”

“You’ve been to juvie?” You asked.

“It’s okay not to be surprised,” He laughs. “But yeah, I have.”

“No, I really am surprised. I never considered it,” You assure. “If you don’t mind me asking…how’d it happen?”

“It’s because I wanted to be like my dad. Ya know, the pro pickpocketer. Well, that wasn’t all he taught me. I learned how to hotwire different vehicles, dismantle and rebuild cars, how to pickpocket, taught me the ins and outs of ‘get rich’ quick schemes, taught me how to deal drugs…the whole nine. I remember wanting to be just like him,” He says. “I never cared much when my mother wasn’t around because he was there. Maybe he wasn’t the best father figure or as present as a parent should be. But when he was there, life didn’t seem so bad. Then one day we’re having some beers on the porch—I was 12, by the way—talking shit and listening to greatest hits. The cops came to arrest me because witnesses saw me stealing parts from a car. Parts that my father begged me to steal because he was too high off his own shit to do it himself. In custody, my dad says, ‘Don’t you worry, buddy. I’ll get you outta there.’ I really wanted to believe he was telling the truth.” Eddie laughs dryly, shaking his head.

Then he continues. “That was the last I saw of him and he didn’t even have the decency to look me in the eyes and say he’s sorry. I was sentenced for 6 months. He never visited me and being in that cell, staring up at the ceiling, alone with my thoughts; I realized it was the first time in my life I knew what it meant to be alone. I found out later he’d been arrested not even a month after my sentencing for serious drug charges. Lock up practically for good. Uncle Wayne took me in even when he hadn’t spoken with my dad in years. Hell, he didn't even know I existed until the guards called him looking for an immediate family member who'd be willing to take me in.”

Your heart broke at the sound of that. To know that he had such a rough childhood but he still managed to be Eddie was remarkable.

“I owe Wayne for everything I am now. If it weren’t for him, I would’ve been a dirtbag just like my dad.”

“I’m so sorry.” You say, rubbing his back.

You weren’t sure the right words to say or if you should say anything at all. The little girl, Beverly, slides off her seat, sitting on the ground along with you. Her tiny backpack in front of her as she rummages through it, pulling out a tiny pink book then holds it out to Eddie.

You both look down at it. Eddie, hesitant but otherwise he takes it in his hands.

“My dad is in jail, too,” Beverly says. “Even though I miss him, I think he’s better there than when he’s with me and mommy. At home, he was mean and scary sometimes. Mommy says he’s better now. I think so, too. He calls me princess like he used to. Once he told me that if I'm ever sad or scared, do something I like. He likes to draw. Like me.” She points at the book.

“It’s not creepy drawings of people being buried, is it?” Eddie says, fear sprinkled in his tone.

You discreetly shove his back with your shoulder. “What he means to say is, ‘are you giving us permission to look at your drawings?’”

Beverly nods, a small smile on her face.

Eddie flips through the pages and he’s caught by surprise. They were quite beautifully drawn for something done by an 8 year old. Gothic drawings of birds, spiders, landscapes and such.

“These are actually really cool.” Eddie praises.

“You’ve done these all by yourself?” You ask, also charmed by the work.

“Mhmm,” The little girl hums proudly. “Well, not all of it. Sometimes, dad starts a drawing and I finish it at home. Then, I start a drawing and he finishes it. He says it’s how we can commemorate with each other.”

“I think you mean, ‘communicate’,” You giggle. “That’s a beautiful story, Bev.”

“He also draws on people’s skin,” She adds, pointing to the matching tattoo you and Eddie had gotten. “Like that.”

You smile at your boyfriend, him, back at you in quiet appreciation; reminiscent of your time together so far.

“Hey, kid, I’ve got a friend I’ll be seeing soon,” Eddie grins. “He’s in a new band and I’d like to give him a little gift. I could use some help with creating a new logo for his band. Think you could make one for me while we kill time?”

Beverly beams. “Yeah!”

The little girl immediately takes out art supplies from her bag, taking the book for him to start on a new blank page.

“Did you mean that? We’re going to Gareth’s show?”

He nods, squeezing your hand. “Yeah.”

“Don’t just sit there?” Beverly chastises. “Gimme some ideas.”

Eddie chuckles, leaning over the page and springing ideas with her while you watch in amusement.

————

After 50 minutes, Eddie and Beverly became a close pair. You’d barely spoken with how much the two had gotten along.

“And she’s all, ‘You’re not invited because you’re weird.’” Beverly says in a mocking tone.

“No.” Eddie says in disbelief.

“Yeah and everyone in class had an invitation. She’s always been a real bully. Sometimes she shoves me, pulls my hair…and it makes me angry. Like I want to hurt her.”

Eddie scoffs. “I’ve known asshats like that back in school, too. Wouldn’t even look in my direction because I didn’t have the latest shoes or clothes.”

“Language, Eddie.”

“Sorry, I meant ‘butthats’,” Eddie says, causing Beverly to giggle wildly and nearly color outside the lines. Eddie whispers. “Some advice: don’t stoop down to a bully’s level because then you’ll become a bully, too. It happened to me. I thought solving everything with fists would somehow get people to stop messing with me but it only made me feel worse. It’s okay to stand up for yourself but it’s also okay to tell someone what you're going through. Like an adult.”

You smile at his advice, realizing that he’d listened to you.

He’s becoming really mature.

“However, she did hit you first so it’s only fair game that you get to hit her back.” He adds.

Ooh, so close.

“All done!” Beverly holds up the drawing.

Eddie takes the page, scanning it. It was of a spider spinning a web in the shape of a guitar, a giant cross in the background. It looks badas—“ You shoot him a look. “It’s really cool, kid.”

A whirring sound picks up and the ride’s moving again, the three of you erupt in cheers. When you’d finally reached the bottom, a woman full of fear stood there waiting on the sidelines. Her eyes lit up the moment she saw Beverly.

“Bev! Baby.” Her mother sobs in relief, arms opened wide.

“Mommy!” The little girl jumps into the mother’s arms.

“What did I tell you about leaving my side?! I knew you’d be here. You just don’t quit, do you?” Her mother scolds.

“Ahem.” Beverly says, clearing her throat cuing you.

“Hello, Beverly’s mother,” You waved, introducing yourself. “It’s wonderful meeting you. I’m Y/n and this is Eddie. We found her riding alone and talked about searching for you when the ferris wheel stopped.”

“Hello. Please call me Martha,” She introduces herself. “I told her that ferris wheel’s always giving up. I’m so sorry. I hope she didn’t cause any trouble with you. She can be quite the handful.”

“No. She was an angel. Even drew us a picture.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Bev,” Her mother smiles down at her. “Thank you so much for keeping her happy. She’s usually scared to ride those things alone. If there’s any way I could thank you…”

“Oh no, that won’t be necessary.” You protest.

“No, no. I’ve got it! If ever you need help planning an event—maybe a party or… wedding,” She darts her eyes between the two of you, handing you a business card. “That's my number right there. I’m a wedding and event planner.”

You blush, profusely. “Umm, okay.”

“Let’s go, Beverly. Say goodbye to the nice people.”

She pouts. “Will I see you guys again?”

You let Eddie have this one. He crouches down to her level and says, “I think so. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be needing a wedding planned or whatever,” You were now blushing so hard that the heat from your face could warm you enough from the cold weather. “Or maybe I could get some cool tattoo ideas from the artist herself.” He finishes, winking at her.

The girl beams. Then, she and her mother were on their way. Eddie, waving at her until they couldn’t see each other anymore.

You smirk at him. “Well, would you look at that. You’ve overcome your fear of children.”

“She’s pretty cool. Reminds me a lot of myself.”

“She’s very special. Bright, too. I think she’s helped me work out a lot up there than any therapy session I’ve had in years.”

“Somehow the universe keeps sending people our way because you and I could use a little push. We’re very stubborn people, ya know. Although, I’m a Taurus. What’s your excuse?”

You laughed. “So are we going to this show or are we going to discuss signs now?”

“Don’t you wanna debate how un-Taurus like I am,” He jokes. “Alright. Let’s go so see TSNP. Dumb name by the way. Hope Gareth didn’t come up with it.”

“Do you think we’ll make it to their performance on time?”

“I think so. But if we don’t, I’d still like to go for the support,” He smiles and curls an arm around your shoulders. “Then you and I could go back and face reality.”

You rest your head on his, walking out of the park; ignorant to the magazines with your faces on them.

Taglist: @that-idiot125 @strangerthingsstories5255 @haylaansmi @tlclick73 @chcolateeyelver @apolixyan @micheledawn1975 @maystecc @gay-weirdo262772 @itswormtrain @httpmedxsa @3m0xbunn1 @bebe0701 @lokiofasgard616 @joeyfilth @secretdryrose @sammararaven @cherrytree69 @bimbobaggins69 @nicolaj1978 @idgafboutyou @eddiesgffff @briasnow-blog @sweetdreamer1010 @sleepyghostygirl @babeyglo @idkidknemore @e0509 @brittney69 @samunson83 @hellfire-puppet @moonisu @mopeymopeymouse @lluviamg06 @shinydixon @cherrysoda444 @lovelyvivii @therese01 @keiracottreau @mirrorsstuff @eddiemunson95 @e-munson666 @munson-fixation @paradoxicalconundrum @lulukings92 @sherrylyn628 @szalipcombo @elamity @munsonswhore86 @kellsck @die-irre-blog @creoleguurl @edsforehead @munsonswhore86 @websterss @screaming-blue-bagel @ick90

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of May. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Seven, Seven | Explicit | 1877 words

“Hello, baby girl,” Harry says as soon as the nurse places the bundle of joy into his arms. “We’ve been dying to meet you.”

2) A Sunny Afternoon | Explicit | 2002 words

Harry gets together with friends to celebrate life and uses the occasion to announce that he officially has an album finished.

or the celebration of Harry's House before it became what it is now.

3) Five Zero Five | Explicit | 2502 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

“So,” says Harry, and his fingers trail on Louis’ jaw, over his exposed neck. “I heard your cover tonight. Arctic Monkeys, really nice.” His fingers linger on Louis’ neck, stroke the Adam’s apple.

4) James Corden’s Lap Better Than Mine? | Mature | 3133 words

James takes Louis onto his lap, and Harry is furious. He cannot wait to get home and punish his kitten and show him Louis his.

5) Where The Water Touches The Sun | Explicit | 3400 words

Prompt #63: L&H in an established relationship where Louis is 5 months pregnant and the pheromones have made him horny as hell, it gets even worse when he wakes up and walks into his kitchen and sees his sexy husband fixing her sink with his shirt off. Maybe he has a fetish for men fixing things. Hot and kinky smut please. Harry calling lou a sexy milf while doing it and obviously the pregnancy kink stuff with h telling l about wanting to keep him full of his babies.

6) Student Teacher | Mature | 3901 words

Request: Louis is... 19 ish and Harry is 24 ish and umm So! Harry was like a student aid for one of Louis's classes in his Senior year of high school and Louis's friends always secretly teased him abt his crush on Harry. it wasn't that good of a secret bc Harry found out about it, he was 23 at the time and found it really funny. Anyways it's a couple of years later and Louis is a freshman in college and runs into Harry at a park while chasing his dog... coco, whos one of those white crusty alleyway dogs. (I love them.) Harry just hears a voice yelling and sees a dog running so he like catches the dog Louis catches up to Harry and he's all like. "omg." Harry looks Louis up and down and he's like "Oh you haven't grown." Louis pouts and then Harry ends up asking him out Louis gets scared and says no, but Harry gets his number anyways and they hang out at Harry's house (haha) as "friends" but they end up fucking on Harry's kitchen island instead of finishing decorating the cupcakes for Harry's goddaughter's bake sale fundraiser?

7) Ahora | Explicit | 4684 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Taylor Swift

Dom Taylor is tired and stressed after one of her shows at the Eras tour. Soft, sub Louis is waiting for her backstage. Rough sex ensues.

8) The Changing Season In A Messy World | Not Rated |8649 words

Prompt #35: H&L alpha son starting to get the teenage moody alpha hormones. One day he release all his anger on his sweet mother when he tried to talk to his son & harry don't really appreciate that. "He might be your mom, but he is my wife first & nobody talks to my wife like that"

9) Hide And Seek | Not Rated | 9808 words

Louis is 14 years old when his father dies and he's 19 when he meets General Styles.

10) Roommates | Mature| 13202 words

"I'm so happy I could kiss you! Thank you so much." Louis smiled up at Harry, who looked back with a daring smirk.

"Then why don't you?"

Louis blushed at that comment and leaned up pressing a gentle kiss to Harry's lips, it was soft and sweet. Something Harry hadn't experienced before.

"Happy?" Louis asked and giggled.

"Very." He answered.

11) Captain Cupid | Not Rated | 15331 words

“Right,” Niall started, finally getting the opportunity to unleash his horrible plan. “Well, as you both know, I’m an excellent matchmaker. A human Cupid.The best of the best at finding one's mate. And I’ve decided it’s time to make money doing it.”

“Oh, God no,” Louis groaned, picking up his empty plate and placing it in the sink. He needed to escape as quickly as possible.

Or the one where Niall enlists his friends to help start a speed dating side hustle. Things don't go as planned... or maybe they do?

12) After Hours | Explicit | 16707 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Pedro Pascal.

Louis Tomlinson is many things. A dancer, a barista, a one time con man. He's rarely experienced a good romantic relationship with a man but that's all about to change when he starts working at a nightclub in Texas.

13) The Mess We Created | Explicit | 21099 words

An innocent one night stand changed into something more than that.

14) Help Me, Help You Find Love | Explicit | 23781 words

“I help people hook up, not fall in love Styles”

“Think you can make an exception for me, Tomlinson?”

The one where they all attend a university for supernaturals and Werewolf Frat president and resident heartthrob Harry approaches on campus matchmaker Louis to help him find love.

15) Until The Pearls Get Lost | Explicit | 25519 words

London, 1933. Harry Styles, alpha, elusive bachelor and happy third wheel to his coupled friends, receives a visit from one Liam Payne, begging for his help.

Liam’s childhood friend Louis is about to become the talk of the city; left at the altar because the mating bond was rejected, Louis will spend the rest of his life in an institution unless Liam can find someone to take him in and care for him as he recovers. Most omegas with failed bonds are never the same again.

With rumours swirling around about the reason for the rejected bond, Harry gives in to Liam’s pleas. He hasn’t the slightest idea how that decision will shape the rest of his life.

16) Fetish For My Love | Explicit | 27388 words

Louis has too many worries to even think about a moment of peace in the days that now exhaust him and become a complete rush for him. Fortunately, Harry doesn't take long to take care of the matter as he knows that he has wanted it so much, finding the solution in a particular sheet full of colored stickers.

17) And When It Rains, You're Shining Down For Me | Explicit | 37081 words

“This is Harry, he’ll be your patient,” Liam gestured politely.

Harry froze when Louis’ eyes met his own once more. He felt himself getting lost in those eyes, so much so that he didn’t notice Niall and Liam leaving the room quietly but the sound of the door shutting behind them brought him out of the trance.

“Hello, I’m Louis,” the omega said, extending his hand for Harry to shake. The alpha could still sense some nervousness in his stance but decided to ignore it.

“‘’m Harry.”

Or the one where Harry is a grumpy boxer who gets injured and Louis is the lovely physiotherapist hired to help him, but getting pregnant wasn’t exactly in his recovery plan.

18) Hold Me How the Deep Night Has | Explicit | 48018 words

Louis Tomlinson needs a change. Stuck in a cycle of going to the job he hates, spending time with his friends, and avoiding the one man he hates most in this world, Louis' in desperate need of something new. So when he discovers an abandoned notebook on the way to work, the decision is easy to take it for himself and begin a journal amidst the empty pages. What can't be expected are the words that appear overnight directly beside his own, written on the same day 400 years in the past. What are the consequences of a magical connection between two men of different centuries? And who, among it all, is the mysterious E who only exists on the other side of Louis' journal?

19) Letters | Explicit | 58346 words

Louis lost his Alpha and mate in a deadly accident a year ago. Since then he has been writing letters to better deal with the grief and loss. But suddenly he gets answers from Harry Styles, an Alpha who himself is looking for meaning in life besides his career.

20) Oh, To Be Vulnerable | Mature | 63429 words

Disgruntled nurse Harry is, what some would call, a bit of a loner. Aside from work, he spends most of his time alone, either taking trips to the Boston library or going for walks around Quincy Market, or wallowing in his own sadness. He doesn’t seem to mind too much though. He takes his job seriously, and he likes it enough that he shows up every day, so what could be worth threatening his peace that he has worked so hard to create?

Louis, an overly-chipper and easily excitable orthodontics resident, can’t help but instantly fall for the boy in the photo that Niall shows him. With his education soon coming to a close, he is ready to get back into the dating game, and what a wonderful sight to begin with. The relationship between Harry and Louis has all the highs and lows that typical relationships do, but will Harry learn to trust Louis enough to let him in? And will Louis be able to manage his life turning every which way while also figuring out Harry?

21) LOUIS. | Explicit | 72202 words

“Oh, by the way Harry Styles, my name is Louis, Louis Tomlinson!” And with one last bright smile towards Harry, Louis was gone and out of his sight.

You’re who I've been searching for my whole life.

It's You.

22) You're Umami Baby | Mature | 87427 words

Umami: The essence of deliciousness.

Harry is a chef who never experienced umami until he meets his new dishwasher, Louis.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[trulybetty]

2023 Tumblr Top 10 Posts

This was really interesting to go through as I really try to avoid anything related to stats - but also fun to revisit some posts/fics I’d forgotten about!

This year was such a transformative year in many different ways, that I’m still trying to process with 2024 quickly approaching. I’m looking forward to seeing what the New Year brings. But I hope it brings me more of the same I’ve experienced here - community building and some wonderful people that I get to call friends 💕

So if you’re interested, check out the following! If you do your own Top 10, please tag me in it! 🙌 you can do your own here!

1. 879 notes - Jun 26 2023 - Pre-Outbreak/Non-Outbreak Joel (photo set)

2. 413 notes - Sep 10 2023 - Sequins (Joel)

Still so thankful for @wildemaven posting that gif - because if she hadn’t Sequins!Joel would never have been created! It’s the gift that keeps on giving. This was also my first foray into anything non-TLOU themed for Joel and I’m still shocked it was received so well. 

3. 306 notes - Sep 26 2023 - Happy Birthday (Joel)

Written for Joel’s birthday - this was just straight up smut and birthday sex. But hey, it’s canon Joel likes it gentle, steady, nice and slow… so who was I to not give him nice and slow 🫠

4. 237 notes - Aug 16 2023 - Stood Up (Frankie)

To this day I don’t remember where this idea came from. I was really intimidated to write for Frankie, like I almost didn’t post this! But I’m so glad I did, it’s spurred several other one-shots involving Frankie x Mav and a current (neglected) WIP that I’m excited to get back to in the new year.

5. 227 notes - Aug 31 2023 - Marcus Pike coded Pedro, which inspired this (and number 7).

6. 225 notes - Jul 6 2023 - New (to me) Whiskey promo shoot (photo set)

7. 205 notes - Sep 2 2023 - Sick Day (Marcus)

When I first came back to fanfiction I was so confused by the reader insert format. The last time I wrote fanfic, it was canon characters or OC’s - which is what both Gold Rush and Chiffon (my first) are written in. So in order to try out the format I started with Marcus and what is now the Sweet Jane series. I have plans for those two, I have how they met mapped out in my head, that I hope to explore soon!

8. 175 notes - Aug 4 2023 - Strings (Joel)

This was another nerve wracking foray - reader insert Joel and because it was a challenge to write Joel with someone other than my OC. It started as a one-shot, that then was three parts, then four and finally finished at five. It’s also the only series I’ve managed to complete 😆. I’m so proud of this one, it has a special place in my heart - this is the ending Joel deserves, living on a little farmhouse being taken care of and a reluctant chicken dad.

9. 167 notes - Aug 14 2023 - A Sunday Night Ramble (text post)

This was a late night epiphany - where I realised that I was trying to force writing and make my two OG series’ fit into more palatable moulds for others consumption rather than writing the story I wanted. It’s also a good reminder that it’s okay to take a break from something that isn’t currently serving you. If you come back to it two day later, two weeks later or never - it’s okay. You’re not beholden to anyone. This is all supposed to be fun first and foremost, if you’re not having fun then it may be time to step back and re-evaluate.

10. 166 notes - Aug 24 2023 - Drip (Joel)

I still get sad when I think about this piece. Like real sad. I don’t know if I could write something like this again now - or ever. I was well and truly in my feels with this one. I made the decision to watch a walkthrough of all the cut scenes of TLOU2 and it broke me. I knew what was coming, but knowing and watching were two different things. I do like that I left this one open to interpretation - meaning I can revisit one day if I want, so who knows.

NPT’s: @wildemaven, @gnpwdrnwhiskey, @rhoorl, @morallyinept, @frenchiereading, @maggiemayhemnj, @magpiepills, @goodwithcheese, @secretelephanttattoo, @sin-djarin, @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin, @undercoverpena, @nerdieforpedro, @linzels-blog, @for-a-longlongtime, @avastrasposts​, @musings-of-a-rose, @mysterious-moonstruck-musings​ & anyone else who wants to play - consider this me tagging you in! Please tag me if you do it! I’d love to see! 🙌

[sweet-s0rr0w]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much to @citrusses, @danpuff-ao3, @tackytigerfic, @maesterchill and @squintclover for tagging me in this! I loved reading your answers, which is what made me finally decide to do this one. I'm really awful at these, and I'm stuck in that endless blank early period of motherhood where my focus is so inwards, so survivalist, that I've lost all sense of popular songs/films/sport, which is a big part of why I don't generally do other 'about you' type posts. So I'm also tagging @elskanellis, @epitomereally, @mallstars, @oknowkiss and @thecouchsofa who recently tagged me in other posts to say thank you <3 and I appreciate you, and here, do this one if you like <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25, good grief

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

332,461!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Harry Potter. Can’t see that changing any time soon, but never say never. Meanwhile F1 will remain the One That Got Away!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nor All That Glisters (111k, E, Drarry)

Kept in Cages (77k, E, Drarry)

Dreaming Skies (21k, E, Dron collab with @tackytigerfic)

When The Party's Over (5.4k, E, Drarry)

Among the Elements (8.3k, E, Drarry)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Embarrassingly enough, not usually. Basically, I got very overwhelmed last summer after writing Kept in Cages, because I pushed myself ridiculously hard to get it finished in time for Wireless (last fic in Wireless, but I made it!!) Combined with a lot of stress in my personal life, I then experienced massive burnout and had six months of complete writer’s block. Meanwhile, I got some really wonderful, brilliant, thoughtful comments on that fic, and I felt just awful and like a total fraud who couldn’t put a sentence together, and couldn’t bring myself to even respond. And now I don’t feel like I can reply to anything more recent until I’ve got through the old comments, etc etc. I guess I should just get over myself and crack on though, because I love getting comments and do really truly read and appreciate every single one.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to give them at the very least a hopeful ending, so I had to look through my account to work this out, and I think this has to go to my weird tiny little dark fic Not Waving (M, 3k, Drarry).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As above, I do like a happy ending, but rarely is it unqualified happiness. Kept in Cages, maybe, because I like that they’ve built a life away from everything, and that it’s something that they’ve each freely chosen. Or perhaps Silhouettes (E, 17k, Dronarry), which now I think about it does have a rare conveniently-packaged ending!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! The odd lightly offensive bookmark rating, but nothing that especially bothers me. I got caught up in the top/bottom trolling early in my time in fandom, but that stuff was so ridiculous I just deleted the lot of it and didn’t think of it again.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write what I want to read, really, which (naturally) involves smut. I can’t do PWPs though; there’s a Tumblr post that says, like, ‘I’m going to write a quick PWP, the starting premise is that character A has lost their faith in god’, and this is kind of me. Sex in fic for me is a big part of relationship development, and so I usually slot in whatever works best for the characters from that point of view. I’m actually writing something right now that’s fast sexual burn/slow relationship burn, and it’s a very new dynamic for me, to try and take the feelings away (a bit, obviously they’re going to catch them sooner or later).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t really enjoy reading them, so it doesn’t really enter my mind to try and write one. I suppose sports AUs are the exception to the rule – does that count? I haven’t written one, but I’ve read some I’ve adored (@sleepstxtic, @citrusses) and I could see myself having a go.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple, I think. Someone translated NATG to Brazilian Portuguese, all 111k of the thing (although looking now I think it might have been taken down!), and Nice I think got translated to Vietnamese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, Dreaming Skies with @tackytigerfic. Dream come true, etc etc. I have to say, I’d absolutely be up for another collab with someone in the future (time/life/etc allowing, which is a big if for me).

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Drarry. Twenty-one years and counting!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh, I’d never say never! Good to always have something on the backburner, I say.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I think. And I used to think pacing, but currently having a slight crisis about this in my latest fic, so get back to me! But yeah, dialogue; as I was saying to @fluxweeed the other day, sometimes I feel like I write my fics by just filling in the gaps between dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything that’s not dialogue! No, I’d say probably endings. I don’t think I’ve mastered the art of ending strong just yet. I’m too keen to satisfy readers, possibly, or maybe it’s the dialogue thing again, I want to end on a quip or something, and it never sits quite right. I should really start looking at what I think makes a good ending, I guess.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Fine? I mean, I wouldn’t personally do it using google translate or anything, because I’d have horrors that I’d accidentally end up insulting someone, but if I know the language a bit and/or have someone I can trust to help, that’s fine.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First and only, HP. I read HP back in the early 00s – a broad range of stuff, following the well-known authors (Cassie Clare, Maya, Rhysenn, Aja etc), but was always just a lurker, never part of fandom (was too nervous, and too busy with F1, which was a very niche fandom back then, consisting of about 30 of us and an unhealthy number of screenshots of Jarno Trulli’s backside after every race – I ran a fic archive and modded fests etc, but never wrote). Then when I got back into fandom, it was immediately HP, and immediately Drarry <3

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Don’t make me choose between my children!

Tagging: gosh, I think I've tagged enough people just in the course of my ramblings! Oh, maybe also @shealwaysreads, and @skeptiquewrites if you haven't done it, and the Aussie crew @moonflower-rose and @shiftylinguini, I'd love to know your answers if you have the inclination. Anyone who gets a tag for the post please feel free to do it and please do tag me with your responses <3

[kukuandkookie]

Random Link Click theory time but I was talking to friends about the twins’ powers and…

I suddenly thought up an idea that I’d love to be true 👁️

⚠️ SPOILERS BELOW ⚠️

Because what if Li Tianxi is actually constantly possessing Li Tianchen’s body as well as having her own in an attempt to save him?

So when what we think is Li Tianchen delivered the photo with the message to “save my good gege” to Lu Guang, it was actually still Li Tianxi and it was another attempt to save her brother…

I admit this theory is partly born out of my love for family—and sibling—drama/trauma in writing (which my best friend actually called me out on years back regarding my OCs asjakfl), but…

I keep feeling like Li Tianchen probably came close to death that night—after all, she wants to save him, based on the message on the photo. 🤔

Also we do know she can possess multiple people…!

As for everything else, yes we still don’t know a lot of things about them but!! I’d love it if this theory was true ahaha.

PS: I agree with everyone now that I’ve seen it; the ending to episode 7 was very gay. 😆

I couldn’t help joking it was Bilibili’s way of confirming that Lu Guang was the top SLFNSKDJKSSH.

Episode 8 trailer has been out on Bilibili’s YouTube for a while, and from it I get the impression Qian Jin and Li Tianxi want Cheng Xiaoshi’s powers to save their respective loved ones (their wife and brother respectively).

Although…the ep 8 trailer also has Cheng Xiaoshi say a “he” (implying Li Tianchen and not Li Tianxi) can definitely possess people, so…who knows how they’ll throw us for a loop again. 😂

I just like the idea of Li Tianxi going a little off-kilter to try and save her brother—a “you protected me; now it’s my turn to protect you” kind of story. 👀🙏

But if it was actually Li Tianchen giving Lu Guang the photo to save his sister or something else entirely (they share a body? Li Tianchen’s the one who’s off-kilter?), that could still be interesting!

Director Li Haolin has always been an unpredictable storyteller, so I’m not going to try and theorize too hard. Although I also do love the Lu Guang being from a different timeline and trying his damndest to save Cheng Xiaoshi—to the point of that’s why he’s so cynical about time travel and has these rules and seems experienced and also has an unknown age—theory… But that’s another topic for another day.

[brilapse]

Hi guys…..

So this is extremely embarrassing for me to admit but I really need help. I was recently diagnosed with hep c….. I would have had it for going on 7 years now…. Long story short, I am appalled with my doctor. When I first got clean in Jan 2017, I was tested, now it may have been to early then but sometime in 2020, I just started to feel generally unwell all of the time. Tired no matter what, low energy levels, achey, headaches, etc. Then my stomach issues started. There was a time period I was waking up sick af every day, throwing up pure stomach acid multiple times a day for months, then it kind of subsided and was probably three times a week, and it’s been like that since then. I still get “attacks” (I call them- pain and crazy nausea) every damn day. My energy levels the past year has all but plummeted. Like, I am nearly DONE for the day after showering, they are that bad.

I was complaining to my doctor. In the past 3 years, I’ve had bloodwork done 4-5 times, and not ONCE did she include the test. When she said she was going to test me for “everything”, I’m fucking sorry but I assumed she meant EVERY disease, etc. apparently fucking not. The only reason we caught it now is because I got a new methadone dr and she actually took the time to go through my medical chart and history and brought it up. So yeah, we did the test and, unfortunately it was positive.

The fact that I have been feeling so god damn bad all of the time and it was not caught, and could have been and no one thought to bring it up with my history. That’s another thing, I’m so damn unlucky I guess. When I say that I was METICULOUS about being clean and using new stuff every time during my active addiction, it was borderline ocd… but there was ONE time. ONE time that I KNOW is when this happened. I have some trauma from the time I was in active addiction…. I ended up literally homeless and unfortunately I didn’t have anything or anyone, no support… and I ended up tangled up with this one guy I put my trust in… mostly because I had no choice. He was not a good guy. Without going into details, I literally had to escape essentially and I feared for my life. I was held at gun point a few times… he was psycho and had major anger issues. Anyways. There was one time, I was on day 3 of withdrawals, and anyone who had been through them when you’re an IV user of Fentanyl… you know it’s literal hell. I wouldn’t be able to begin to tell you what it feels like. You would not be able to fathom it. There is a reason people do crazy things to get their “fix” … you’re not thinking about anything other than feeling okay again. You’re in hell and every horrible symptom you could think of, you’re experiencing. Anyways, I finally got some stuff and I didn’t have any clean things. I could barely move or walk. Didn’t have a car or money to get there. Begged him to go for me. He would not leave me alone because again, he basically held me hostage and did not have any of his “guys” around to watch me. There was another girl that came by to pay him “his cut”…. (Yeah you can imagine what he did..) and she had some stuff but all used. She swore she didn’t have anything- which, she may of not known. Fine. And I was DESPERATE and also suicidal at the time. I thought ok, this ONCE. I boiled water and even cleaned it out… and even if you don’t do that, the transmission rate is approx 10-20%, it’s not 100% guaranteed. So I thought ok just one time, if I clean it out, I should be okay.

Evidently not.

So yeah… I don’t want to talk about any more of that time in my life… I’ve been clean seven years now. Doing well… well, I was, until about a year ago when I started to get really sick. I got laid off a job and was really struggling financially and then got a new one, and now my hours are cut and way lower than when I started, so I’ve been dealing with that. Barely surviving the past few weeks.

NOW… I started treatment this week. 8 weeks. 3 pills a day… but the thing is, the side effects can be hard on some people and because of my stomach issues, we already know it’s gonna be hard on me and it’s already been BAD the past two days….and it’s gonna be a ROUGH 8 weeks. Now, it’s obviously worth it, to have a 95% chance of curing myself and go back to a normal life and feel motivated and normal again. ACTUALLY HAVE ENERGY!!!!!!!!!

I can’t work though during these 8 weeks and I am going to have zero income. I don’t have EI sickness because I had to use it last year when I got really sick. Since my hours were cut, and went to part time status, I don’t have benefits.

I got a new full time position that is supposed to start March 4th but I have to start the April training class start date instead now… I literally will not be able to do it. I am going to be in bed for 8 weeks and resting essentially.

That brings me to this….. my bills are already high and up there because of my hours being cut and only being able to pay the bare minimum on them. I am literally going to get my heat cut off and internet and cell probably. I cannot afford food, but at least I’ll be given ensure or boost with my meds from the pharmacy.

That’s another thing. The treatment is 40k Luckily the compassionate care program with the government covered 90% of it- but the other 10%, my dad had to help. I can’t ask him for any thing or any money after that…. I’m just.

If any of you would be able to help me out during this time, it would be so much appreciated ❤️

ANYthing you can do and send my PayPal… I will be so grateful.

& when I’m up and running again after treatment, when I’m not sick af all the time and i actually have energy again… I will start my OF again and make it free for a couple months. I was debating doing that to help right now but when I tell you I have ZERO energy… I have ZERO. and that combined with the side effects and feeling just so shitty and migraines from the meds… I just, I can barely do anything.

I’m just… I’m at my wits end. I’ve never not seen even a SMALL light at the end of the tunnel but I’m not seeing any lately….

Thanks guys.

Love B ❤️

[wellexecuted]

So last year was the most seismic year of my life. I consider my ‘long 2023’ to have started in August 2022, during my first break up.

I had never experienced heartbreak like that. I threw myself into the gym and my new teaching job (and first full time position after uni). I discovered online dating for the first time, to my peril. I became extremely thin, and totally revelled in my sadness. I thought myself so profound, and this was compounded by numerous and terrible situationships. I went through what was probably my second genuine heartbreak.

Come about March- time, I started to ‘fix up’ emotionally. I met some of my best friends, and was partying every weekend (… and some weeknights). It was the busiest few months of my life. I then met my now- partner, who introduced me to another lovely circle of people.

March to December have been the happiest, silliest and busiest months of my life. I made some incredible memories with my friends and deepened my relationship with my partner. However, I’ve gotten pretty physically unhealthy, and… blew through what were already pretty meagre savings.

I regret nothing. The expense, ultimately, was worth it. As I progress through my twenties I’ve come to think of my life in terms of periods and seasons, as opposed to linear and unfaltering progress. I still worked hard this year, professionally. I had an article published in a blog, and successfully applied for my September apprenticeship. But this aspect of my life- my self- development and self- care- must come first now.

This year, I must calm down. This is certainly not punishment for my happiness. I have had a blast and I would not change a second of it. I just am acknowledging that I need to re- route (and re-root) myself.

I’m starting a new position tomorrow, as a cover teacher at a school closer to my home. Then, in September, I begin my official teacher training year. In the interim, my focus is on my health, my mind, and my existing relationships.

At my core, I thrive in my aloneness- I love to write and read, draw and paint. These things fell by the wayside in what I’ve been calling my ‘recovery’. I’m on day 7 of not smoking (a silly habit I picked up to make friends and ended up sticking), and I’m back in the gym. I’ve cleaned my room for the first time in months, and I’ve been hitting 8 hours of sleep most nights.

My socialising now consists of wine- free restaurant meals and chats over coffee. I have a few glasses of wine once a week, and have made my friends swear to only invite me ‘out- out’ once a month from this point onward. My partner and I take it in turns to dream up ‘weekend dates’, and spend our time traipsing museums and looking up life drawing classes.

I want this blog to reflect these things in the coming weeks and months. I am studying in my spare time in preparation for my training year, reading copiously, learning freely. As an aside, I’m, like, actually drinking water and eating vegetables again too. I’m going to try to stay consistent with an 100 days of productivity challenge. Please do join me! I love and miss my posting on this blog.

[memoirsofasim]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

I was tagged by @ashubii @cantseemtohide @90soldsoul @cowplant-snacks @silwermoon-sims @aleksa-sims @simsdada - thank you lovelies and I enjoyed learning a little bit about all of you. 🌻😊

1. Are you named after anyone? My middle name, Jean, is after my dad’s mother’s name. My initials & last name is also the same name as an Australian recycling company, JJ Richards. 😆

2. When’s the last time you cried? Last week. I’ve been feeling a bit flat since the cold weather arrived but I’m pretty sure I’m experiencing early menopause so my emotions are a bit all over the place lately. 🙂😭😠😆

3. Do you have kids? Nope. I decided long ago I didn’t want kids and was lucky enough to find a life partner who doesn’t want them either.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nope. Sarcasm is an odd humor and I get it, but I prefer to just be funny instead of sarcastically funny. 😜

5. What sports do you play/have you played? I’ve played netball and horse-riding. At the moment I only walk or go running and sometimes lift light weights, and sometimes swim once a week. Swimming is very therapeutic for me.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people? Eyes, hair, clothes 

7. Eye color? Green

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Both, but I’m not really into those soppy happy endings. I also love Sci-fi movies!

9. Any special talents? Horse-riding, I feel like that is a talent. I can also run in high heels.

10. Where were you born? Australia

11. What are your hobbies? Reading and learning about space and the universe. Stargazing, simming, tumblr, playing around in photoshop with my sim posts, organizing my sims pre-made gameplay spreadsheet, watching movies & TV series.

12. Do you have any pets? Yes. We have three chihuahua's, Sniffs (male), Squish & LouLou (females). Two sheep, Sherbet (f) and Sheldon (m), and 15 Belgian de’uccle chickens. The sheep & chickens are originally my partners pets and I like to keep it that way. 😄 I do look after them when he goes away on birding photography trips but I’ve just never bonded well with them.

13. How tall are you? 5.10 or 11 I think. People have always told me ‘Oh you’re so tall’ and I guess I was back then for a teenage girl but now a days being tall does not seem so out of the ordinary.

14. Fave subject in school? Hurts my brain to think back that far, but English, Pottery & Art. I once got a B+ on my Art exam which was the highlight of my entire schooling. 

15. Dream job? I stopped dreaming of my dream job years ago and have accepted my position in this life as an office zombie. 🧟‍♀️

Tagging: @simmer-rhi @whatawhim @pixelshary @pinkchocolatesims @babblingstacey @asimofmanyhats @dragonflydaydreamer @papiermaker @breakfastwithbeb @crusty-trait @gladlypants @payte and as always, no pressure to do this. 🤗

[ghost-tripitaka-au]

Hiiii

Welcome to the Blog!

When Mysterious circumstances arise, Tripitaka is somehow a ghost haunting Tang for reasons unknown.

Now Tang has to continue the journey with a ghost nagging at the side of his shoulder.

“Tang don’t write that.”

“What? It’s true!”

———————————————————————————

Rules:

No Toxicity

No NSFW

No Homophobia (Unless it’s story-wise)

No Bashing on Tripitaka please, I know some of ya’ll hate him but please don’t go too far.

Be nice!

Have fun!

Do not blame me if he’s inaccurate.

———————————————————————————-

Characters to ask in Arc 1

Tang

Tripitaka

———————————————————————————

This is inspired by @countinglegoclowns AU as well.

It just has its own plot-

Arc 1: The journey begins long before the pilots! Drama, adventure and excitement awaits in these new cast of characters.

Arc 2: The pilots start to form! But what’s this? a change in the timeline? Oh who knew?

Arc 3: DBK strikes again, this time his plan to overtake Megapolis is a success, without a Monkie Kid or his team of heroes, who shall tip the scales of balance now?

Arc 4: It’s the election for Megapolis’ mayor and the Monkie Kids have decided to strike! Will they succeed, will they fail? I dunno, something’s gonna happen.

Arc 5: While finding Rin, DBK heads for Flower Fruit Mountain to consult Wukong unaware of the horrors beyond.

Arc 6: You want a summary? Basically Season 3 Ep 1-2 but with SHIT ton of more lore.

Arc 7: The gang try to find a way to get the Samadhi Fire while Mathias is experiencing some HECTIC side effects from the mask.

Arc 8: The Amnesia episode to the Lantern,to the ritual, basically nearly half of Season 3, were close to Season 4 and nearing my favorite arc that I’ve been planning for a while. So buckle up people.

Arc 9: Looks like Season 3 has ended, what awaits us next folks? Also remember that the next arc is supposed to start with Tang, can’t call it ‘Ghost Tripitaka AU’ when Tang and Tripitaka ain’t there.

Arc 10: The gang get a side quest to save Mathias. Meanwhile Tang gets stuck somewhere…Deja Vu to the max.

Arc 11 part 1: Tang gets trapped in the multiverse…what’s this, *Gasp* a @mentality-of-wukong-au reference?!

Arc 11 part 2: Still trapped, but something happens that changes the course of history.

Arc 11 part 3: You know what this is getting old. (Be nice Tang)

Arc 11 part 4: At this point I might as well be Tripitaka waiting for my rescue. (At least I was quiet about it) Oh HAHAHAH, shut up.

Arc 11 part 5: The end of this universe. Wonder what awaits us in the next…what you thought it was like Mow and we’d only go through one universe? Yeah no fuck that.

Arc 12 part 1: In a new universe where the Traffic Light Trio have become the new dictators of society.

Arc 12 part 2: The past is shown about the circumstances of the Bull Family.

Arc 12 part 3: Wukong’s finally here and oop-! Looks like some drama going on here

Arc 12 part 4:Err looks like Director and Assistant got bored…welp! Unto the next world! Jesus, it’s hard to be the Head of Entertainment! Look at me Shiny! Inferior to the Clone known as Mow! Yet I’m over here making movies for the Old married Couple that could otherwise be our mothers…well technically they adopted the Blue one…I think…? Er, anyways, next arc I suppose.

Arc 13 part 1: Into the Fnafverse we go in a colorful cast of horror and fun!

Arc 13 part 2: Hey! More fnaf! And more fun!

Arc 13 part 3: <̷̼̫̝̙̯̻̟̲͈̬̜̈́̈́̀̑̔͆͑̅̌̈́̚͝͝͝͝Ă̵͙͚̎̓̐́̋̓n̷̪̈́͒͝ ̸̙̱͔̗̟̯͇̹̖̭̭̺̫͒ͅȄ̴̦̗͔̰̠̱͚̝͍̲̙͔̽̄̉̃̈́̉̅̂̐̊̕͝͠ͅr̸͇̙̔͂̃r̴̡̛̗̘͉͕̜̫͈͔̀̌͑̑̋̓͒̾̈́̉̊̾̚͝ͅo̵̜̱̳̦̮͚̥̳͉͚̠̬̎r̸̙͓̞̠̂͗̇̅͋̈́̄͐̂́̌̕͘͝ ̷̧͎̬̖̭͔̇̑̾̀̆̆ͅh̸̨̦̘̦͔͓̬̳̥̿̃̑̈́̔͂̌̕ͅa̶̮̠̎͜͝s̷̨̼̮͖̗̞͓̦̟̳̆̐̿̀̿͘̚ ̵̛̗̣̳̘͔͎̐̏̀̑́̍͐͊͝ͅȎ̴̡̮̱̗̺̣͉̏̽̽̄ĉ̷̨͓͍̘̤͓̪͚͚̦͎̟̒̑̀̃̿͊̄͛͜͜͠c̴̡̧̛͎̪͇̻͓̣͇̼͔̼͑͝ų̷̤̪̹̖̑̔r̸̡̡̩̲̺̺̪̼͉͈̺͐ͅŗ̴͉̼͈́̚ę̶̳̭̙͈̱͍̃̈́̏͆͊̀͗͑̈́͋̍̒͛̄͘d̶̛͖͕͗̍͊̎͂͊̃̽̾̾͒͗>̶̦̫͕̾̏͆͋̀͛͆̊̋̈̊̔̾͝

Arc 14: [Error: Program Overriden]

Arc 15: Welcome to season 4 folks.

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

Sapphire Heartverse! The fanfic

Part 1: Liminal Reality

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Here’s some background as to why this alternate universe is the way it is:

A very powerful stand user, one that can cause catastrophic effects on the universe, ended up altering and splicing the timelines together. This all takes place in 2022! Most of the people, villains included, have been resurrected by this power. Others are still deceased. Plenty of them have lost their memories as well, but others got to keep theirs.

Vanilla Ice wakes up in his bed with a jump. He tries to catch his breath. What the hell happened? I gave my life to Lord Dio… did I not? The last thing he remembers is decapitating himself so his sire could drink. Was that all really a dream? Vanilla feels his cheek, his face drenched in sweat and hot to the touch. The brunette is in his room, inside the mansion… everything looks the same, smells the same, but something is eerily off. Ice trembles as he stumbles to the bathroom to wash his face and look in the mirror.

I feel like I’ve been sleeping for years. Vanilla feels there is nothing he can do about this and proceeds to fall back to sleep.

The next day, while Vanilla is preparing something for Dio to enjoy, his heart skips a beat. The brunette’s spine tingles for seemingly no reason. His eyelids twitch and his hands quake to the silent beat of anxiety. There’s no way Ice is going to let this little hiccup cut into his time serving Lord Dio. Vanilla swallows hard and brings the tray of snacks to his sire.

On one knee, holding the tray of goodies for his master, Vanilla presents to him the variety of food. Dio lazily takes one and munches it. Unbeknownst to Vanilla, Dio is experiencing a plethora of emotions similar to him.

“Ice,” Dio’s low smooth voice pierces the silence, “What ails you?”

“It’s nothing, sire. Pardon my ill energy.” Vanilla apologizes.

“Hm,” Dio takes a sip of wine and contemplates, “You’re dismissed.”

“Wait, sire,” Vanilla speaks quickly. Dio turns his head, a bit startled by the urgency of Vanilla’s voice, “I must ask you… do you feel something is afoot? There’s a… fog of an invisible threat. Pardon my franticity.”

The blonde man remains silent for a while. It’s true. When I woke up this morning, I had forgotten who I was. I felt like I had been dormant for ages. He thinks of something to ease Vanilla’s tension,

“Well, as you know, the Joestars are planning an attack. They want to be rid of me. Perhaps that is what you are feeling… Mr Ice.” Dio takes another sip, “It is rather unlike you to be so anxious. You’ve got me worried. I do not want this to be a repeat offense from you.”

“Absolutely not, my lord.”

“Good. Now you are dismissed.” Dio waves his servant away. “Oh and one more thing… always remember this, Ice… you are my favorite. Hmhmhmhm…”

“Yes, sire. Very good, sire.” Vanilla feels his cheeks heat up a bit from being complimented.

Another day at the mansion. Another day… another day.

It’s time again for Vanilla Ice to go out shopping to get more supplies and food for the mansion. He gets dressed, does his hair and makeup, then grabs his purse and car keys.

“Aht aht! Cream!” Vanilla wags his finger at his stand, who is chewing a hole in one of the ottomans in the living room. Ice claps his hands and pulls the unruly stand back into his soul, “*20 years and he still doesn’t behave.” *I headcanon Vanilla to have gotten his stand at 5 years old because of the game HFTF*

Vanilla strolls outside and steps into his vehicle, cranks it, and smoothly pulls out of the driveway. It’s a beautiful day, the sky is a perfect shade of blue gently sprinkled with clouds, the temperature is nice and hot, there’s tourists looking at little square devices. Wait what? There’s a few more. And another. And another. And two more. Ice is perplexed and almost swerves into oncoming traffic out of the peculiarity.

“OH SHIT!” Vanilla spins the steering wheel out of the way just in time. The brunette’s heart races. His shoulders are up to his ears with tension and confusion. Vanilla slows down and gives some tourists a bewildered look as he squints. He sees those devices they’re all holding have little screens… like a gameboy but…

Ice drives up to his usual store, however something is off.

“What the hell?” Vanilla steps out of the vehicle and looks up at the sign. It’s different. Way different. As in, this is not the same place he went to the other day… what was the other day anyway? And yesterday? And the day before that? Ice realizes that he had been staring at the sign for far too long when people start to look at him like he’s crazy.

“U-uh… huh.” Vanilla stammers and staggers inside. It is not the same store. Everything looks horrifyingly different.

Vanilla gazes in awe at the technology and sharp yet smoothness of everything in the store.

“Whoa, dude, the 80s called. They want their hair back.” The cashier teases him. Ice gives them a bemused expression,

“What… did you just say?”

“Hey, hey, don’t take it personally. I was just messing with you, it looks good. My parents used to listen to that stuff when they were like, teenagers.” They stretch lazily.

“Listen to what? What are you talking about?” Vanilla presses the cashier for answers.

“Dude, relax! I’m sorry! They like 80s music, it’s cool.” They look at some items on the shelf.

“80s music?” Ice is frozen in place with befuddlement.

“It’s whatever, like I mean… yeah, it’s okay. I like what I like and other people like what they like it’s ok-” Vanilla slams his hands on the shelf,

“No! What the hell is going on?! Why does everything look so-” He does a double take at one of the magazines.

“Hey, hey! Calm down, sir! Do you need me to call somebody?” The cashier asks, “Sir?”

Vanilla hesitantly reaches for the magazine, his manicured fingers trembling.

“Sir? A-are you alright?” The cashier asks but to no avail.

Ice takes the magazine and gives the date a deep gaze. His heart skips a beat. The current year is not 1989. It’s 2022. Vanilla feels reality around him shift and twirl like he was on a rollercoaster.

“Mister?” The cashier tries to speak to him, “Are you alright?”

Vanilla doesn’t look at them,

“Is it really… 2022? Right now?”

“What? Uh… yeah, man. Why? You okay?” They try to calm him a bit.

“That’s impossible. There’s no way. That doesn’t make any sense. That would make me… No. How? How?” Vanilla stumbles out of the shop with the magazine.

“HEY! THOSE AREN’T FREE, YOU KNOW!” The cashier yells to him, “Ugh… That’s literally the 4th guy this week pulling that shit.”

Vanilla hurriedly makes his way back to the mansion and skids the vehicle to a grinding halt. The brunette rushes inside and barrels down the hallway and up the stairs with haste. He knocks on Dio’s bedroom door and kneels, panting, clutching the magazine in one hand as he waits for his master to allow him inside.

“Vanilla Ice… do come in.” Dio’s rich mellow voice fills Vanilla’s eardrums to much of his delight. Vanilla stands back up, takes a deep breath and opens the door with eagerness,

“Sire. We have a situation.”

To be continued…

[dark-visitors]

Fic Tag Game

Tagged by @therulerofallpotatos 💕

1) How many works do you have on Ao3?

New/Current Account: 1 (though I have 3 more long fics in the works (wyler, wyclair and a hotd fic) that I'm hoping to start posting chapters for by the end of the year)

Old Account: I think I had 8 works on Ao3 before I threw my toys out of the cot, logged out, made a new account and never logging back in but this was 5-ish years ago now so idak lol.

2) What's your Ao3 word count?

22,107

(don't know my old account count)

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Wednesday and House of the Dragon but I’ve previously written for Game of Thrones/ASOIAF, MCU and Victorious (I've started writing for other fandoms though I don't think I ever posted anything)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I’m taking my old account to the grave but my Wenclair fic Blood and Shadows is currently at 704

(also my Victoriuous fics (don't judge me I was a child) were all posted on fanfiction.net)

5) Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I always respond to my comments. I want my readers to feel open to engaging with me on my works and I find that answering questions, matching their energy and dropping a quick thank you for their compliments makes me more approachable (hopefully). Also I have had some bad experiences in the past and so getting a influx of positive comments after posting a chapter means more to me than my readers can know so I like to do something to acknowledge that.

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Tbh, I don't really like unhappy endings. Like I love angst fics, the angstier the better and I find writing/reading fics that aren't at least a little despairing to be pretty boring. But at my core I’m a slut for a happy ending and I don't think I've ever gone into writing a fic that I planned to end on an egregiously unhappy note.

However, I did write a Game of Thrones fic focusing on Sansa’s relationship with Cersei that I ended up abandoning at a point where Sansa was still in Kings Landing being groomed, tormented and plagued by the grief of her entire family dying… so that’s not great.

I also have a House of the Dragon WIP set in the unseen years during the time jump where Alicent and Rhaenyra start to reconcile after Jace and Daeron are born within months of each other. It’s an Alicent POV where Jace’s obvious status as a bastard and Rhaenyra’s fear surrounding the ridicule that follows initially has her feeling sympathetic. Alicent puts out an olive branch and Rhaenyra feeling vulnerable accepts. They start to repair their relationship and old repressed feeling resurface only then Rhaenyra has Luke (another obvious bastard), Alicent feels betrayed, resents Rhaenyra’s recklessness, everything goes to shit and it ends with the implications that their canon relationship will continue as is (which for them is of course very tragic). I based it on Alicent’s line after Joffrey's birth where she says something along the lines of “to have one son like that is a mistake, three is an insult”. It’s a one-shot but it got really long and I lost interest before I finished it lol.

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Idk. A happy endings, a happy ending I don't think any of them stand out as being the happiest.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

I have.

Not on my new account (thankfully) the Wednesday fandom overall is very positive (at least in my experience) and the response to blood and shadows has been overwhelmingly positive so far.

I did receive some criticism on my earlier fics. I was very young and still in the process of learning to deal with my dyslexia so they weren't very good and though they hurt at the time, I put little effort into those fics and I got over it pretty quickly.

Then when I was in my late teens I experienced a very consistent string of hate comments on fics that I was pretty proud of at the time. Some of it was valid, some of it was just mean. I also wasn't in the best head space and it all imploded into me giving up on writing and posting for a few years.

I still wrote fanfic, as creative writing is something I've always strived to get better at, I just wasn't taking it seriously or posting anything. But I started posting again earlier this year and I plan to stick with it, even if everything doesn't stay perfect as I know I'm more equipt to embrace the hate now.

9) Do you write smut? What kind?

Fuck yes. And… the kinkier the better? 😏

I’m not opposed to writing more vanilla smut if it's part of a longer romance-focused fic. As super kinky smut coming out of nowhere can give readers whiplash. But I always try to spice things up where I can and I love writing more complicated emotional and power-related dynamics over focusing on the physical actions of a sex scene. Because when you grow up reading smut (not recommend but it's too late for me now) the physical act of sex alone does little in the way of… invoking a reaction, and therefore can be pretty boring overall.

Like yay, cool, she's sucking a dick. Now tell me about the sexual consequences of those mommy issues.

Also dialogue. I don't care if people don't actually talk that much during sex. That fuckers not shutting up and you can't stop me.

10) Do you write cross-overs?

No. I'm not opposed to it. Just never felt the need.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No. I'm a bit of a control freak and I’ve loved all my mutuals over the years too much to ever make them deal with that.

13) What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have been casually working on a long (LONG) House of the Dragon fic on and off for like a year now that I will most likely never post simply because of the scale of it. I just don't think I’ll ever finish it in a way that I'm happy with and I don't want to start only to lose steam and either abandon it or feel obligated to finish it when my hearts not in it anymore.

It's a canon divergence fic where upon Rhaenyra’s bloody return to camp after running away and killing the boar during Aegon ii’s second name day hunt, Viserys revaluates Otto’s proposal to betroth her to Aegon and a season 1 retelling thereafter focusing on Rhaenyra, Alicent and Aegon because they're my problematic favs and the interpersonal relationships between these characters are just endlessly fun to explore (also the show fumbled on Rhaenyra and Aegon's relationship and I need to fix that or ill be forced to scream everytime I think about it which is often).

Basically, slow burn Rhaenicent (Alicent x Rhaenyra) and all the longing, hatred and repression that comes with it interspersed with their relationships with a growing Aegon (and eventually the other green kids) and the weird and complicated family unit that grows between them, as Aegon and Rhaenyra get married while Aegon is fully aware that his sister-wife is fucking his mother (it’s been that way most of his life so he's fine with it). And that's only THE FIRST ACT!

Alicent then dies birthing Daeron (a few years before the end of s1 timeline wise) and Aegon and Rhaenyra fall deep into very a self-destructive grieving process (during which Viserys dies and they inherit the throne) and end up growing closer as they try to heal, move on and run a kingdom together. Eventually progressing into an actual Rhaegon (Rhaenyra x Aegon) fic despite the fact that they have already been married for years and she was low-key a better dad to him than Viserys (derogatory) ever was. (Dont @ me about the incest they're Targaryen’s it doesn't count and this fic would be problematic af for so many more valid reasons)

I have no idea how it would end, only that I'm looking at 300k words minimum and I don't think I'm ready to commit to that.

14) What's your all-time favourite ship?

It depends, I’ve had a lot over the years but some current favourites are:

Wednesday - Wyclair, Wyler, Wenclair, Tynid

HotD - Rhaenicent, Lucemond, Rhaegon, Daemicent

15) What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I have a unique way of writing emotion and I find dialogue comes quiet easily to me.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

A complete inability to keep it short and simple, I must make everything I write as long and complex as physically possible, which isn't always necessary and tbh can sometimes be too much and therefore worse.

I've tried to be a one-shot girlie and I just can't do it. I get sucked into the lore and the nuances of every tiny detail I come across. I can't write a fic any shorter than 30k (an extreme minimum tbh) and It's exhausting. I need to learn to chill.

17) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've written a few lines in the many fictional languages of ASOIAF where necessary for certain characters but I try to avoid using languages I'm not super confident in without first knowing EXACTLY what I'm saying/trying to say.

I have no issues with it overall but I definitely encourage research beyond Google translate if you don't speak the language. Especially with gendered words as its something that's very easy to spot even for people who are mediocre at speaking the language.

18) First fandom you wrote for?

Victorious. Jori (Jade x Tori) specifically. I can't remember how old I was but I was pretty young at the time and definitely wrote some truly cringe-worthy shit but overall I remember it quite fondly.

19) Favourite fic you've ever written?

Not my best work but I wrote a Bucky x Natasha MCU fic when I was 16-ish. It was the first fic I remember taking seriously (too seriously probably) and I got in trouble for writing on my phone in class several times. It was nothing too serious, fun to write and overall it really cemented my love for writing I think.

Also I'm really vibing with my Wyler historical AU atm. I've got some kinks to work out before I start posting chapters but it's looking to be some of my best work.

20) What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

I don't think I want to rewrite any of them.

Though I think I've improved enough over the years to make them drastically better in theory, if I've learnt anything it's that somethings are best left imperfectly perfect and trying to mold the past into something better will only ever sour the good that had come with the bad.

Tagging (I've seen a bunch of these so ignore me if you've already done it 💕): @kybee1497 @badmoodbatflowers @onlyangelxo @penelopwgarcia @cosmic-lullaby @gardenoblues