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#i'd love to read all of your theories
nerevarswritingstuff · 9 months
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For every chapter I get more and more excited about Wukong eventually finding out about Macaque. My mind is filled with theories about how it will go down and I just can't stop thinking about it! 💖💕💖💞 I'm losing my mind over here! 😆
Hope you're having as much fun writing as I am reading 🥰
//GROSS SOBBING
YEEEEEES I'm having a BLAST writing it and I'm glad you're enjoying reading it!!
I'd actually love to see what y'alls theories are on both HOW Wukong finds out Macaque's alive and WHAT you think will happen
I always find it fun seeing what everyone's theories are and seeing how close they are to what's actually gonna happen ;)
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frodolives · 6 months
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1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
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👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...
🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg Follow
the franklin expedition is dead as hell
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all
#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh
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🎨 asherbrowndurand
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Just painted this
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ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927
RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed
🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow
HERITAGE POST
📝 shakespearesforehead Follow
How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol
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🌄 loyalromantic Follow
poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/
#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect
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🎀 thefopdiaries Follow
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I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling
📜 bartlebi-thescrivener
i think i hauve consumption
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🐋 whaler4life
They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME
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🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow
I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense
#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo
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🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament Follow
🙈 butchbronte Follow
Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep
🙈 butchbronte Follow
I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon
#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
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LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH
#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....
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⭐️ newamerican
Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol
#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure
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harryisthelilspoon · 2 years
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withahappyrefrain · 5 months
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Somebody to Love
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Summary: Attending a cookout hosted by Penny seemed like the perfect way to kickstart summer. Meeting and falling in love there wasn't on yours or Bradley's bingo list.
Warnings: Language, Bradley being a loverboy, female reader
For @roosterforme's Rocktober event! I'm so sorry it took so long and hope you enjoy it!
The first time you saw Bradley was at the Hard Deck.  
He completely missed you, as much as it pains him to admit. 
In his defense, his eyes were on the ivory keys of the piano, only looking up briefly to revel in the cheers from guests of the Hard Deck as he played. 
You, in his defense, were just trying to get in and out. Considering it was barely seven, you thought you were coming in before things got rowdy.
You were mistaken. 
The show he was putting on was nice to watch while you waited for Penny to be free. But that's all it was, a show. And after a while, you couldn't help but scoff. Was being in the Navy not enough attention? 
The smile on Penny's face when her eyes met yours was worth the wait. You pulled out the coveted book from your bag, raising it in the air as if it were the golden ticket. 
"Amelia is going to be so excited," Penny beamed as she took the book from you, "She's been talking about it for weeks!"
The mention of your former student brought a smile to your face. 
Amelia was a student during your first year of teaching. You felt a kinship to the young girl, whose parents were going through a divorce at the time. You also saw that her love of reading was untapped, blocked by years of past teachers failing to help her learn how to read. 
So you worked with her the whole year, and the summer after that, helping the girl catch up. One summer, Penny offered a bartender job when she heard you were looking for extra money. Over time, the Benjamin women had become more like family than your own. 
It's why you stayed in touch. Why you took on extra shifts occasionally during the school year, when Penny truly needed help at the last minute. Why you made the trip out to the Hard Deck simply to give a book. 
"Stay for a drink? It's on the house," Penny held up an empty glass, hoping the way it gleamed in the light could entice you into staying. 
But you looked around, taking in how many people were there, how loud it was. How the man wearing aviators and a Hawaiian shirt was feeding the crowd with the piano rendition of a song that sounded familiar. 
And simply shook your head. 
"Should get going, it is a school night." The truth was, you'd rather be at home, in your bed reading than staying out late with a bunch of pilots. 
Before you could say goodbye, Penny placed a hand on yours.
"Before you go Birdie, I wanted to let you know that we're celebrating Amelia's middle school graduation two weeks from Saturday. We'd love to have you there." 
You smiled, sincerely flattered that they would want you present for such an event, "I'd love to. Will your man of the hour be there?" 
A giggle escaped from you when you saw Penny's cheeks begin to turn pink. 
Bradley swears if he had looked over at that moment, he wouldn't have let you leave the Hard Deck that night. 
—------------------------
Bradley Bradshaw was not anti-romance, despite what his friends claimed, despite the numerous times he's turned down someone wanting to set him up. 
The idea of romance did appeal to him. The idea of spending the rest of his life with one person, who loved him and wanted to grow a family with him, was very appealing in theory. 
He wasn't against it at all. Just cautious. 
Cautious as he witnessed first hand how dangerous his job was, how it tore families apart. Hesitant because he grew up with the aftermath- the support groups, the sympathetic looks, the empty dining chair that served as a loud, always present reminder of what he and his mother had lost. 
He had been on dates, had been in relationships. They never went anywhere and Bradley was fine with that. The possibility that he may not come back from his deployments lingered in his mind, as did the image of someone receiving a flag and maybe his dog tags. 
Why put someone through that? 
“It's hard, but I wouldn't change a thing about it. You'll understand when it happens to you.” 
His mother’s words rang in his ears. He knew she meant well. Bradley knew those words were true for her. 
But he couldn't see them being true for himself. 
So he came to Amelia’s graduation party with a vegetable tray and no date, despite Penny’s insistence that he could bring someone. 
It's why Bradley walked straight past the kitchen, ignoring the unfamiliar voices. It's why he kept to the people he knew, rather than mingle with strangers. 
And that was fine, enjoyable even. Things were going the way they always went, the way Bradley wanted it. 
Consistent. 
Bradley Bradshaw lived for consistency. Each morning, he'd get up and go to work. Work hard until his bones ache. Spend time with friends and the makeshift family he had found. Go to bed alone. Rinse and repeat. 
Consistent. 
Everything was just fine, until Bradley felt a hand grip his shoulder. When he turned around, he found Jake and his fiancé, Danica (or Venus, as everyone called her), looking at him. 
“Your future wife is in the kitchen. Get in there.” 
—-------------------------------
Bob saw her first. 
It was hard to miss the sound of classic rock blaring from her red Subaru. 
The sounds of eighties rock was a nice change from the Jerry Lewis and Sinatra music Bradley insisted on playing. 
Even nicer was her voice. Sweet, smooth, light. 
She was clearly in her own world, unaware she had an audience. 
Nor would she. Bob knew better than anyone the pains of people walking in on him. So he quietly got out of his car, leaving her to finish the song by herself. 
Reuben was the first one to speak to her. 
Or rather, his daughter was. 
Ava, always determined to explore, ran into the kitchen as soon as he set her on the ground. 
It was easy to find her. Despite being only two, Ava had quite the voice on her. 
Given her shouts about cookies, Reuben wasn’t surprised when he found his daughter in the kitchen, pointing excitedly to a plate of sugar cookies. 
He was a little surprised to see that the person kneeling down to talk to her wasn’t Penny, but rather a woman he had never seen before. 
“Is it okay if I give her a cookie?” She asked, motioning to the sugar cookie she was holding in her hand. 
“As long as you're able to cut her off after two,” Reuben chuckled, “I'm warning you now, she can be hard to convince.” 
You smiled, the corners of your eyes crinkling, the bridge of your nose scrunching up as you looked at Ava, “It'll be tough, but I think I can manage.” 
Javy was the first one to try to include her in the picnic festivities. 
“Hey, don't tell them this is what we’re calling them, but we’re playing beer pong against the old timers in the basement. You in?” He asked. 
“Oh I'm good, but don't worry, your secret is safe with me,” She said with a gentle smile and a wink. 
It was the fact that she sounded assured, content to stay in the kitchen and continue making small talk with some of the wives, away from the hubbub of the picnic, that made him not push. 
Natasha was the first one to have an actual conversation with her. 
In a sea full of testosterone, it was  hard not to notice another woman. Especially one who looked around her age. 
“So how do you know Penny?” You looked rather surprised by Nat’s question, surprised that another person had noticed you in the kitchen and decided to converse.
“Oh, I'm, well, I was Amelia’s third grade teacher. I tutored her for a couple of summers and have helped Penny bartend when she needs extra help,” you explained. 
Natasha recalls Penny mentioning you a few times, now able to put a face to the name. 
“So you're the teacher! Penny said we might see you at the Hard Deck this summer,” Nat grinned, hoping it would help her feel more at ease. 
“I am! I'm still figuring out how exactly I want to spend my summer. First time I won't be doing summer school or tutoring,” you explained, continuing to wash the dishes that had begun to pile up on the counter. 
“Any travel plans? Or family you plan to visit?” Nat asked. 
You shook your head, eyes appearing dismal for a brief moment, “I don't have much family to visit. But I have been meaning to explore the area more, so I might do that.” 
Natasha knew not to press. You didn't owe her any further explanation. 
But out of all people, Jake Seresin was the one to make the connection. 
“I’m sorry, but what did Penny just call you?” He asked, jamming a finger up his ear to clean it out, convinced he heard it wrong. 
“Oh, Birdie!” you explained, flustered, “It’s um….it’s always been a nickname that friends and family have called me, ever since I was a kid. When I told Penny, she started calling me that too.”
Jake recalls the other details he's learned; a love of classic rock, vintage clothes and children, how your face lit up when someone spoke to you, as though you had  been waiting an awfully long time to be noticed, to be acknowledged. 
Your nickname. 
It hits Jake like a fucking freight train. 
“Excuse me, I have to go uh, um, find my wife,” he said abruptly, practically running out of the kitchen. 
Jake quickly found his Venus, tapping her on the shoulder as he ignored the death glare Phoenix was giving him for interrupting. 
“What is-” 
“Birdie. Her nickname is Birdie.” 
Danica’s amber-glazed eyes widened as she shot Natasha a knowing look. 
“Where is she?” 
Which is how Bradley Bradshaw found himself being dragged away from the grill and into Penny's house. 
After all, Bradley didn't have too much common sense. He would insist he was alright, despite losing his beat as he watched his close friends fall in love and get married. 
So they were just helping, helping him find somebody to love. 
“Y'all are being ridiculous, just because she likes the same music-” 
“It's more than that. You just need to see for yourself,” Jake explained, pushing him towards the kitchen. Inside, a sweet voice was talking.
“Peekaboo! I see you!” He could hear a big smile through your voice, “Now it's Ava’s turn!” 
Bradley turned the corner to find you sitting cross legged on the kitchen floor, enabling you to be somewhat closer to eye level with Ava. You and the little toddler were both full of giggles as you continued your game. 
Ava’s small hands flew up to her face, covering her eyes. It was an adorable sight, how she was trying to say the words. A bright smile adorned your face, eyes shining as you played with her. 
“Where did Ava go?” You asked, pretending to look, “There she is!”
A warmth flooded Bradley’s heart as he watched this mysterious woman interact with Ava. It felt familiar,childhood memories of his mom flooding back. But this time, instead of feeling sorrow, a pleasantness surrounded him. 
Strange. 
Ava babbled, causing you to giggle once more. 
“My name is Birdie. Can you say Birdie?”
Oh. 
So that was why everyone thought this was his future wife. 
It was a cute coincidence, nothing more. Yes, it was beyond endearing to watch you interact with Ava, you were obviously great with kids. 
“Roo!” Ava’s coos of her special nickname for Bradley broke him out of his thoughts. 
“What's a Roo?” You asked, your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. The puzzled look on your face was adorable. 
“That would be me. Hey Ava girl,” Bradley kneeled down, his arms open wide, allowing Ava to run over and hug him. 
You instantly recognized him thanks to the memorable mustache. But his smile and eyes were much softer now. His whole demeanor is less cocky and more approachable in Penny’s kitchen. 
Bradley scooped the young toddler into his arms, grinning as Ava giggled. 
“You being good? Trying to persuade people to give you more cookies by being adorable?” Bradley asked the toddler. 
“I'm holding out strong. Don't want her dad to hate me for giving her a sugar rush,” You explained, a soft smile on your face as you watched him interact with Ava. 
“See, the key is to make sure the sugar rush happens when he takes her home,” Bradley grinned, “That way he can't do anything about it.” 
“I'm sure he can ask around regarding who gave her all that sugar though,” you retorted, facing the sink again to continue the dishes. 
“See, that's where you have the advantage; you're not in the group chat,” Bradley balanced Ava on a hip, walking over to the sink to join you. 
You were fun to talk to; able to hold your own with a soft, yet slightly mischievous smile adorning your face. 
“I'm Bradley,” he explained, the spirit of his mother probably screaming that it took him this long to introduce himself. 
“I take that's your actual name, considering that's way too normal to be your callsign,” normally you wouldn't tease a complete stranger like this. But he was easy to talk to and it helped that he was holding an adorable baby like a complete natural. 
“It is. My callsign is Rooster.” The information caused your hands to still. 
“Rooster?” It was too wild to be a coincidence. 
“Yeah, when I was part of my first squadron, I was always the first one to be up. But I also had a tendency to be well, louder than what they would have preferred, which is how I got my callsign Rooster.” Bradley smiled as he recalled the loud complaints of his squadron, which always seemed to die down once they learned he was making breakfast. 
“I, love that. Sorry, I, it's funny your callsign is that. Because it's like a nickname right? My nickname is Birdie,” your speech quickened as you realized you were rambling, “I know that nicknames aren't the same as callsigns. Well, in a way they are, they're both given to you for a reason, right? It's just funny how our nicknames are both-” 
“Excuse me?” You looked up to see your savior came in the form of a bespectacled man who was standing by the door. 
“I was threat-I mean, told by Danica and Phoenix that I needed to get Ava,” The man said, walking over to Bradley. 
“Bo!” Ava exclaimed, reaching for the man. 
“Sure thing Bob,” Bradley said, hanging over the toddler to his friend, unable to stop himself from rolling his eyes at his friends’ schemes. 
“C'mon Ava, let's leave the two soon to be lovebirds alone,” Bob whispered, out of the room before Bradley could say anything.
“Did he just… “
Bradley sighed, “Gotta watch out for that one. He's quiet but can be cheeky when he wants to be.” 
“As opposed to the others, who are just outright cheeky?” You asked. 
Bradley chuckled, “You're catching on. Here, I can dry while you wash?” 
He could be spending time with his squadron. Could be spending time joking with Mav’s old squad, making jokes and talking about the past that he was too young to remember. Could be anywhere but here in the kitchen, helping you do dishes. 
And yet, he didn't mind it at all. Bradley was finding himself enjoying his conversation with you, despite knowing it would earn him several eye rolls and shoulder shoves from Danica and Jake. 
You were surprised he was still here, that he hadn't found an excuse to leave. 
It was a nice change. 
“So you're the teacher Penny talks about?” 
You laughed, “Is that who I'm known as? You're like the third person to ask me that.” 
“Just shows how big of an impact you had.” Your cheeks warmed at the praise. 
“You know, you just try your best. Make sure to listen. Helps that I'm also a child of divorce, you know? Had a lot of pointers,”  you shrugged, but it was clear you were downplaying your efforts. 
“Have you always wanted to be a teacher?” Bradley asked, wanting to keep the conversation going, despite the dishes being done. 
You took your hands out of your pockets, fidgeting with the hem of your dress. Your shoulders shrug as a small smile spreads across your lips. 
“Yeah. I love helping folks, especially kids. I was a camp counselor all throughout high school and I just….felt at home when I was helping other people,” you explained. 
You leaned forward, the scent of jasmine flooding Bradley’s nostrils. 
“It makes sense that I became a teacher. But if you asked me as a kid what I wanted to do as a grown up, I wouldn't have said teaching.” 
Bradley leaned forward. With the sunlight hitting him, you could now see the lighter shades of brown that adorned his curls. 
“A mom. I’ve always wanted to be a mom.” 
“You'll understand when it happens to you.” 
Oh. Okay. 
That's when Bradley Bradley finally gets it. Because he's imagining life with you; moving in together, getting married, having kids. The risk is still there. But he'd rather live with that risk and you than not at all. 
“I know that's silly, but it's true. I mean, it's not even an occupation-” 
“I said I wanted to be a dad when I grew up.” 
Your eyes light up at his admission, feeling at ease and less like a rambling burden. 
“You must have had a really great Dad then.” There was a flash of sorrow in his eyes at the mention of his father. 
“From what I remember. I was only four when he died, but….from what I remember, he was great,” his voice was softer now, his eyes showing he was in another place. 
You inched closer to him, “I'm really sorry, I'm sure that was hard for you and your mom.” 
“It wasn't easy. But she always said she wouldn't change anything. Never really understood that until recently.” His shoulder is touching yours, his long fingers inches away from your thighs. You were hyper aware of the closeness, unsure if moving away would be proper or offensive. 
“Something helped you have that revelation?” 
“Moreso someone.” 
It's impossible to not notice the way his stare lingers on you, how his smile is warm and those whisky eyes are shining bright as he sends a wink your way. It makes your heart flutter; no one has ever looked at you that way before. 
Nerves begin to overtake your brain, causing you to look away from his intense gaze. 
“Should we um, get back to the picnic?” You all but mumbled. There's no desire to leave him, but you don't want to get your hopes up. 
“Can I at least get your number before we do that?” Bradley asks, eagerly getting out his phone. 
Bradley Bradshaw hates accidents, except for the one that led him to this kitchen, to you. 
His forwardness is uncharted territory. There's no wondering or second guessing; Bradley wants to stay in touch, wants to keep talking to you. 
It's nice. It's unfamiliar. It's exciting. It's sending your doubts and anxiety into a tailspin. 
Your fingers fumble for your phone, opening up a new contact for him to fill out. His fingers brush against yours when he hands you his phone, little sparks flying up your spine. 
Bradley simply smiles when your eyes look at the screen of his phone. Your brows knit together in confusion, the bridge of your nose scrunching up as you read over the words again and again, eyes surely playing tricks on you. 
“Um, I think you made a mistake Bradley?” you hold up his phone, “The name for this  contact is Mrs. Bradshaw?” It also has a heart emoji next to it, but that wasn't worth mentioning. 
“Oh, it's no mistake,” Bradley grins. 
The only sound you can let out is a confused huh. 
“You just gotta put your number right there, and then you're all set.” Bradley points to it, an assured smile remaining on his face. 
“Are you….are you going to change the name?” You asked, dumbfounded. 
Bradley shrugs, “Nah. I'll know it's you. But I can put the word ‘future’ in parentheses if you want it to be more accurate.” 
Your fingers have a mind of their own, typing in those desired ten numbers. Bradley takes his phone from your hands but not before placing a gentle kiss on your burning cheek. 
His lips feel soft, the hairs of his mustache gently tickling your skin. When you turn your head, your lips are now inches away from yours. 
You try to ground yourself, try to look away from his lips, try to ignore the warm, fuzzy feeling that's overtaking your body. 
“Sorry Birdie, but I'm old fashioned. First kiss shouldn't be until the first date,” He winks. 
What floors you more, his confidence or his bold desire for you? 
Raising an eyebrow, you ask, “And when will that be?” 
Bradley chuckles, “Whenever you want Birdie.” 
He can't be serious. But what would he gain from leading you on, other than Penny’s wrath? 
You straighten your shoulders, trying to hold your own against his large frame.
“Tomorrow at six,” You muster up all the confidence you can, preparing yourself for him to drop the act. 
“Done. Do you prefer Italian or French?” 
“Neither as I'm lactose intolerant.” This was it. Was he going to stop the act, once he knew it would require more effort. 
“How do you feel about Thai? I know a great spot. Never been but it's been praised by Jake and Danica and let me tell you, that woman does not give out praise easily.” 
You giggled, “I could tell. By the way, is there a reason he calls her Venus?” 
“Short version; he's obsessed with her. Been that way since they met in the parking lot of a coffee shop. You should ask them how they met; they give different answers and it's hilarious,” Bradley explains, a gleam in his eyes as he thinks about one of his favorite couples. 
“I'd like that. But if you go with me,” you asked, “Kinda random to just walk up to a couple you don't know and ask how they met.” 
Again, you expect Bradley to falter. He's clearly more outgoing than you, so why would he want someone whose first instinct wasn't to strike up a conversation with strangers? 
“I will, but only if you confirm we’re on for Thai tomorrow at six.” 
Surely, he couldn't be serious. But that sweet smile and shining brown eyes said otherwise. 
“You really gonna take me out?” you crossed your arms over your chest. 
“Of course! I mean, I'm more than happy to take you out tonight, but you said tomorrow, so I'm sticking to it. Plus, it gives me time to get you flowers. Speaking of which, what are your favorite? You seem like a sunflower gal,” his eyes reminded you of an eager puppy, absolutely endearingly adorable. 
“What makes you think that?” He was absolutely right, but you wouldn't let him know that yet. 
Bradley shrugged, “When you smile, it reminds me of sunshine. Also, if it want to get technical, birds also like sunflower seeds.” 
You couldn't help but throw your head back and laugh. Your laugh was sweet, bursting with joy. It calmed down Bradley’s racing heartbeat. 
 “And what should I get you, Rooster? Corn meal?”
His corniness almost made you forget that he literally compared you to the sun. 
Almost. 
His laugh was deep, bellowing deep from his stomach, making you feel warm all over. 
“You kill me Mrs. Bradshaw, now let's go get you that story,” He gently takes your hand into his, entwining his fingers with yours. 
The nickname makes you less confused and more certain Bradley would be sticking around.
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leoascendente · 6 months
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PAC/ Who is your FS and your relationship dynamic 💖
Hi my loves and welcome to this new pac!💕 Today we'll check details about your FS and how your relationship will be when you are finally together. My FS pacs and personal readings are focused in the love of your life, soulmates and twin flame connections, here you'll get glimpses of the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, this is part of what I do in private Fs readings.
Take a deep breath before choosing your pile, keep what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. You can choose more than one pile if you feel to.
Decks I used: green witch oracle, spirit animal oracle, romance angels oracle, astrodices and my homemade charms
For personal readings click here
All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners
Pile 1/ Pile 2
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Pile 3/ Pile 4
Pile 1:
~ Details about them:
(Cards: bobcat, swan, eagle, grasshoper/ chili, sweet corn, marjoram)
❤️‍🔥 This person has a magnetic aura, doberman type of beauty in males and siren type in females, they might look a little intimidating on the outside. They are extremely sexy and magnetic without trying, your Fs surely have a big amount of admirers because of their looks, they are also extremely charismatic what makes people feel naturally drawn to them.
❤️‍🔥 They have a deep emotional world, they can get lost in their own feelings and can be guarded with others, have a sharp intuition too. They keep a lot to themselves, I have to warn you that they have a tough shell to avoid pain, they have seen and experienced a lot of ugly things in their past and it takes time for them to open up in emotional terms.
❤️‍🔥 They are into the mysterious aspect of life, they are surely into conspiracy theories or occultism. Somehow they are connected to higher powers, even if they are not aware of this they are very spiritually guided and protected, I'd take it as a sign that your Fs has a good and pure heart regardless of their tough exterior.
❤️‍🔥 They are into adrenaline and risky or extreme activities, maybe they have hobbies that are usually seen as dangerous, I'm seeing motorbikes and martial arts especially. They are into high performance sports as an usual hobby, their physical structure is fit and strong due to all the physical activity they make on a daily basis.
❤️‍🔥 Your Fs is courageous, they don't mind getting in trouble to defend what they believe it's right, they are not scared of confrontation. I feel they have an strong sense of justice, they might get into trouble to defend people that are being treated badly. Surely your FS has an strong temper, very masculine energy for what I'm sensing.
❤️‍🔥 Powerful, confident and protective of their close ones, very dark sense of humor and love for extreme emotions. They have an strong sexual energy too, expect them to be very active and spontaneous in this aspect.
❤️‍🔥 The have a mix of fire and water energies, this is a very intense mix of energies for someone to have, definitely not for the weak. I'm getting Aries, Leo and Scorpio energy from your Fs.
❤️‍🔥 They remind me of Geralt de Rivia or Kaz Brekker from 6 of Crows, they have this natural charm mixed with the mysterious look on the outside. Your Fs might have tattoos too, I see an snake or dragon tattoo on the back or maybe on one arm.
❤️‍🔥 Your Fs feels happy and content with their life right now, their rutine and daily habits are aligned with their wellbeing and they feel satisfied with the direction of their current life. They are working into being more aligned with the thing that makes them feel good, they are releasing toxicity from their life, either it be people, habits, enviroments or patterns.
❤️‍🔥 They are an animal lover, a cat person I'm getting, they are a sweetheart on the inside but they prefer to keep this tender face very secretive. They are extremely loyal but their bad trait is being possesive, if that's not something negative to you just know that your Fs will he obsessed with only you.
~ Dynamic of the relationship:
(Cards: stay optimistic about your love life, let your friends help you, healing family issues/ Astrodices: aquarius, jupiter, 11th house/ Charms: diamond, swallow, star, trisquelion)
I'm getting that you won't like their attitude the first time you meet them, the card of pay attention to the red flags tried to drop a few times before getting the card of healing family issues, so it won't be love at first sight even though they will look very attractive, I'm hearing a phrase I heard to a friend, it says: they are not that handsome to compensate being that much of an asshole 😅. I get with this that you'll be mirroring eachother at first, you will reject them but you both will feel drawn to eachother like you have a magnet pulling you both, if your love story was a book, it would be booktok's favorite, it gives me enemies to lovers vibe lol. The relationship will be filled by passion and fun, they will be the new in your group of friends or you'll be the new in theirs, however it is there are more people involved here but in a good way, it could be that a common friend that introduce eachother too. Ngl, this person will trigger you and awake some emotional issues you haven't solved at the beginning but this will happen to them as well, it wil take patience and the release of control from both of you, let the people you trust give you a helping hand when you need it, you have good people around to rely on or at least you will have them by the moment you meet your Fs. You will feel very attracted to eachother but at the same time is like you two get both on your nerves, I see your FS will love to tease you and see how you respond them, if you are sharp and sassy when someone teases you, your FS will love your comebacks to their comments, it is like you challenge them and they love it, they'll love your charisma too. I honestly see here a lot of personal growth, you'll both will learn a lot about yourselves and the other and this will help you both overcome limitating beliefs or patterns that were holding you back in relationships but also in other areas of your lives.
This relationship might have something unconventional, maybe your dynamic or the way you approach it, it can be a lot of different options for different people but this feels like not following the traditional standards of a relationship, you both will agree in this. You both have a very supportive enviroment, friendships are very present here so I must congrat you not only for finding your divine counterpart but also for having such nice and loving friends too, I'm getting that you are destined to find your soul tribe. There's marriage here, or at least there is a serious commitment, maybe your wedding/commitment is more spiritual than religious but I see some kind of private celebration. For some I'm hearing that you can meet through social media, being very active on this to communicate or maybe your soul mission together involves social media to share something with others. I'm watching two people doing facetime at night to talk about how their day was, ngl maybe this starts as a long distance relationship, maybe your FS has a different cultural background or is from a foreign country, you both might need some time to adapt and understand eachother's perspective of life but after that everything will flow smoothly.
Your Fs is your soulmate, you have met in past lives and you have a divine purpose together in this one, this might be the reason why at first you'll trigger and challenge eachother, to grow in a soul level that align both of you with your soul mission. This relationship is fiery and passionate, you'll encourage eachother to become your best versions and manifest all your dreams, you will love to see the other shine and succeed. Your relationship will be very protected by both of your ancestors and spirit teams, your connection feels spiritual and ethereal like your souls recognize eachother before your mind is able to process it. This totally gives me power couple vibes, I also see some level of fame or public recognition in your relationship in the positive way, like you'll inspire others somehow. I'm seeing angel numbers 444, 1818, a trisquelion, a full moon and a bald eagle, take them as signs when they present to you in any way or form.
Pile 2:
~ Details about them:
(Cards: buffalo, dog, skunk, antelope/ rosemary, geranium, strawberry, lemon)
🍀 Your Fs doesn't have an inch of malice in their body, they are a sweetheart in all their essence, they are romantic, protective and caring. They have this golden light surrounding them that gives me such a warm feeling, like being in a safe and comfortable place around their energy. Btw, they are very attractive
🍀 If pile 1 was a doberman, your Fs is totally a golden retriever, they are lovely to extremes, they are very loved by the people that knows them, they are adorable, the perfect description of a sweetheart, nobody has nothing bad to say against yor Fs. They are highly compassionate with everyone, their beloved ones rely a lot on your Fs when they need advice or help with anything.
🍀 They are an extrovert, they surely love to spend time outside and have a good time with their friends, your FS really gives me fire sign energy. They are a natural lucky person, fortune makes their way into your Fs' life easily and it's mostly because of their optimistic view of life that they attract so much positivity. They believe in karma, destiny and soulmates.
🍀 They are goofy and funny, the one that makes everyone laugh without trying. It feels like is almost impossible to have bad feelings torward your FS because they gain everybody's hearts with their lighthearted personality, everyone has good words to describe your Fs, mostly their closest people that know them in deeper levels.
🍀 They can be a little naive when it comes to other people's intentions, they have this belief that if they treat everyone kindly everyone will be kind to them, they surely have been through some dissapointments due to this trait but they don't seem to mind it. I like their mindset of not letting the evilness of the world mess with their empathy and good heart, they have an strong sense of honor.
🍀 They are hopeful, optimistic and loyal, they are the first to offer a helping hand when anybody is in need. They value loyalty a lot, they might have an inner wound related to betrayals. They are very family oriented, like they want to settle down soon and find the person they want to build a life with, they might be more traditional in terms of relationships.
🍀 If Eddie Munson and Steve Rogers personalities could combine they would materialize as your FS, your FS is very reliable and trustworthy, they love to help others in everything they can and more. I would suggest you to ask them for help even when you don't really need it, it just feels great to them to be helpful and will feel very grateful if you feel you can count on them.
🍀 Damn your Fs is adorable, I think i'm gonna choose this pile too 😂. Their feelings are pure and filled with love, they are kinda of a secret romantic, they might not show it but they love to surprise with kind gestures to their beloved ones. They'll like to embody the gentlemen attitude with you, they'll pamper you with so much love and attention, like they go walking and sees a flower and pick it for you, or the kind that sends you songs or quotes that remind them of you.
🍀 They are learning to set healthy boundaries, I see they are currently in a process of healing where they are cleansing their energies, I feel they are going through an spiritual intervention but they probably are not aware of the divine precense. They might be through a period of purge and they are leaving behind people that were harming them, their bad trait is to be a little of a people pleaser but they are working on it, they just don't want to harm anybody.
🍀 Your Fs is very into physical touch but their main love language is acts of service, they enjoy making other people's lifes easier. They are into pda too, their body language may seem overprotective sometimes, they are the kind of people that would do anything for their person and somehow their thoughts reflect on their body language. Take as signs when you see sequences with number 2, shooting stars, owls or white cats.
~ Dynamic of the relationship:
(Cards: true love, religious factors, retreat, wedding/ Astrodices: libra, neptune, 6th house/ Charms: rose quartz, bouquet, spike, white heart)
I'm getting that you already know who your FS is regardless if you had anything romantic with them in the past or not, they have appeared in your life before but the circumstances weren't the right ones to begin something romantic. Whenever you have coincided, one of you had their energies really unbalanced and the other part was having a deep healing, it was the correct person on the wrong time. You have barely interacted with them, for some of you, I even doubt you have noticed them if you have crossed paths before and this might be some kind of spiritual protection for you, to not crave too much for them and to not distract you from the process you were in. For others on this pile I'm getting that you might be their crush and you don't know it, or maybe they are your crush but you have barely had contact with them and you take it as delulu, however it is the energy around you two feels familiar. You'll both will feel very comfortable with eachother from the first moment you start interacting, this will be your sign to know that you are meant to be together, everything will feel natural and cozy around them, like you can lay and rest after a long run. If there has been any kind of distance or separation, when they are back into your life they will enter it with all the intentions to offer you a serious commitment and telling you clearly that they want a relationship with you, you got the card of wedding so you both surely will get married at some point too that I feel it will be soon after you start dating, I'd say a time lapse of a year after you start your relationship
Your FS is your soulmate, your relationship was meant to happen so there will not be anybody else after you meet them, this is the person you are going to marry and live a happy life together. I'm getting that this will be a very healthy and balanced relationship, you'll be very respectful and compassionate about the other's feelings, this gives me the vibe of thelepatic communication for many of you, especially the ones on this pile who are already in tune with their spiritual nature. There's this energy of healing surrounding your relationship, for both of you your relationship will involve soul healing from past pain and closing karmic cicles, there's no fear here of being misunderstood or judged, it is all understanding and empathy.
Ngl, the charms talk about some opponents to your relationship and the feeling I'm getting is because someone is jealous of the harmony you and your FS share, there's someone who operates through a negative perspective that won't like to see you two happy, for some of you might be your ex or your Fs' ex, for some I see your Fs' ex is the toxic person they are dettaching from. The spike talks about interferences but not something to be worried about, it is just a warning to prevent any bad energy to mess with your relationship, I'd suggest you to keep it private until you decide to formalize, this will help keep bad energies away. Anyway, the rest of the charms are all about love, tbh I think you got all the love charms I got lol, so romance, passion and affection are surely present through all your relationship. This person will want long term commitment and they will make this very clear, I also see they won't have eyes for anybody else but you, you are the love of eachother's life. The overall dynamic of your relationship is give and receive, both of you have generous and kind hearts and your relationship will be a safe place for you two to share all the love you both have in your hearts, you'll take very good care of eachother and I'm very happy for you. If you are open to have children they will become a source of pure happiness and pride for your Fs and you.
Pile 3:
~ Details about them:
(Cards: dolphin, electric eel, nightingale, bear/ tomato, orange, onion, cucumber)
🪐 They give me very aquarius energy, they are a visionary who likes to think outside of the box and dream big, they have high expectations for their future too. This person likes to keep always learning and progressing in life, not the kind who gives up easilly, they give me the vibe of working smart and not that hard because they have this intellectual energy around them
🪐 Their mind is mesmerizing, they are the kind of person you could hear talking for hours and you'd never get tired of them. There's something about their voice or how they express themselves that is hypnotizing for others, they might be air dominant in their natal chart because they have a gift for communication.
🪐 This is my pile of friends to lovers dynamic and I feel it's mostly because your Fs wants to be friendly with you in your first interactions, they'll like you for a relationship from the very first moment but they'll want to make things right for you and give the proper steps without rushing the outcome.
🪐 Your FS is a social and outgoing person, they are very adaptable and versatile when it comes to people but at the same time they know how to keep loyal to themselves. They have a bright and vibrant personality, they are also very funny.
🪐 They are very skillful, I'm getting that they are a lot into technologies and for some, they are really a genius on sciences or maths. I'm also getting that they are into video games or something like that, I see a person with different types of screens in front of them so it gives me the vibe of videogames (but Idk shit about technology o take it as it resonates)
🪐 They are very open minded, they don't like to judge someone by their appearance, they are able to see further than the surface of people. They don't like to take things for granted so this makes them want to make efforts to keep getting better, some people see a beautiful flower and pick it up, your Fs is the kind that take care of the plant through the whole year and waits for more flowers to bloom on the spring
🪐 Your Fs is very funny, they maybe are not the conventional type of beauty but they really cute, like Stiles Stilinski. They have a natural charm that goes beyond physical attractiveness and I feel that growing up being the ugly duck made them cultivate other attractive skills that they have mastered.
🪐 They are straight forward with their opinions, they feel very confident on their values and morals so they don't mind to speak their truth out loud. They are very mental, an overthinker surely, they are not the most emotional person in the world and their love language is not words of affirmation but it is related to communication.
🪐They are very loving and protective with the people they really care for, they got cards that makes me feel that when they love, they do it with all their heart and at all cost, there's no middle terms for your Fs, it's all or nothing. Take as signs when you see 1212, 333, nightingales, angelic symbology and red roses.
~ Dynamic of the relationship:
(Cards: past life relationship, religious factors, trust, true love/ Astrodices: pisces, north node, 8th house/ Charms: aventurine, white heart, shell, bouquet, agate)
I suggest you to check pile 2 in case you felt called to that pile too, both groups got similar cards and charms.
Okay, for what I'm seeing here I 'm getting the vibe of partners in crime, your Fs is going to be your more trusted accomplice, I feel a lot of emotional intimacy shared here, like you know eachother darkest secrets and fully accep them with no judgements. The overall energy I'm picking from your relationship is peace and acceptance, you won't have to wear any mask to please your Fs or viceversa, your relationship is like a safe shelter in the middle of a chaotic world and you both will be highly grateful with the connection you two share. You'll feel like you are capable of anything with your FS by your side, they'll be extremely supportive of you and will help you to reach your personal goals, I'm hearing that they will got your back in your mischiefs too. This relationship gives me the feeling of two kids living their dreams at its fullest, there's this lighthearted and innocent energy surrounding your bond that really makes my heart warm. You might already know who your Fs is but there's separation at the moment, for some it can be that you already know them but you doubt if they trully are the person meant for you. You'll have to trust the process at the first stages of the relationship, this can be a twin flame connection and this type of soul bonds require spiritual growth. Both of you will have to supress the outside interferences and listen to your heart to recognize eachother, you got the true love card so it won't be difficult to find out.
The dices are confirming another level of soul connection, this feels sweet and ethereal. You two share a common soul mission in this lifetime and will be fullfiled greatly, if you have children your grandkids will brag and daydream about your love story, especially if you have a granddaughter (or will have it in the future) she will take your relationship as a role model for her life too. You'll build an empire or a dinasty, something significative that will last for a long time, deep inside you know you are meant for great things and this is your confirmation with the extra info that you'll reach the stars with the love of your life by your side. I''m also seeing with the 8th house that the sexual connection will be on a higher level too, maybe at some point of the relationship you start learning more about tantric practices or take your intimate moments to connect on a deeper level. I see too that you'll make time and space through all your relationship to dedicate to eachother and keep the spark shinning.
You'll be very aware of what the other is feeling or thinking, it feels like you are one soul separated in two different bodies, you'll be very similar in some aspects and very opposite in others but you'll know how to adapt to the other effortlessly, it will feel like you have known eachtoher since birth. I also see that you'll know when something happens to the other even if you are in different places, the spiritual connection will be so strong and both of you so curious and intelligent that you'll start digging more in spiritual teachings, this will make you release mental patterns or expectations about how your lives should be, even in your aspirations in life you'll have a very similar point of view. I see a lot of gift giving and romantic surprises but it's because you'll be living in eachother's mind 24/7 rent free and everything reminds you to eachother but not in an anxious way, in fact this feels very peaceful and loving, like everytime you cross eachother's mind you can't help but smile.
Pile 4:
~ Details about them:
(Cards: ant, wombat, lion, wasp, bee/ tarragon, lime, rosemary, marygold)
🎀 Your FS is an introvert, they love their alone time and spending time at home. I see your Fs is very crafty and have many different hobbies they do by themselves, speially something that needs the hands to be done like puzzles or painting.
🎀They are a kind soul, more sensitive than they would like to admit, they can be an empath and doesn't even know about it. They are a little shy when it comes to interacting with people in love terms, they can be a little clumsy in the first approach due to their nerves
🎀 They deal with a rough past in general, not just in relationships. I'm hearing bullying so this might be something your Fs had to go through in their early years. This makes a lot of sense with their empathy, they have suffered so much that they know how to put themselves in the shoes of others and deeply understand them
🎀 They are the kind of person that likes to take the positive out of every situation, no matter if the circumstances are hurtful to them, they always know how to give an step back and take the lesson hidden behind the circumstances
🎀 They have a lucky magnet, like they are naturally blessed by life because their heart is pure and filled with good intentions. They also have a very nice balance between their mind and their heart so they surely ate very emotionally intelligent
🎀 They are a very generous person in every aspect so if you are into the provider type of partner your Fs is going to be above your expectations. They give me very earthy energy so their love language could majorly be acts of services or material gifts (it's 13:13 as I'm writting this, maybe it's a relevant number for you)
🎀 I'm getting that they are regenerating themselves at the moment, they got tarragon and rosemary cards that gives me the feeling that they are healing hard childhood memories. This energy is more mental than emotional so they might be trying some mental reprogramming like healing intrusive thoughts or a cruel inner voice.
🎀 They are very sweet but not with everyone, like pile one, your Fs has a tough shell but they are willing to open up with the right person. They fear being judged but they are not scared of rejection, your Fs isn't able to see how much bravery and courage they hold within themselves, they can have a very demanding or perfectionist inner voice, they give me very virgo energy.
🎀 I'm hearing that they regenerate pretty easilly in emotional and physical level too so they like to take care of their health, they barely get sick and when they do it doesn't last more than a few days, they are blessed in health terms
🎀 They got a prosperous and successful future, they are destined to make something significative and positive for everyone, they just need a little more confidence in themselves to fully believe it but their path is clear and it is meant to be great. Take as signs of your Fs numbers 1111 and 777, also bees, clovers and a bonfire.
~ Dynamic of the relationship:
( Cards: children, free yourself, passion, keep an open mind/ Astrodices: gemini, the sun, 4th house/ Charms: garnet, rose quartz, pink heart, boat)
Let's start saying that if your Fs doesn't have already a child they want children with you, if you have children your Fs will be very caring and attentive with them too. This person is very family oriented, they might have a more traditional perspective of relationships, they'll take their role in the relationship very seriously. You'll feel very connected from the very first moment, I see that from all the piles this relationship will be the fastest to formalize, it will be very clear for both of you that you want to be together. At first some doubts can appear because your Fs might not match your expectations but you'll have to check if your standards are being realistic so take this message as it resonates with you. Once the doubts are released the connection will feel like the sun is shinning only for the two of you, you'll feel like you can be fully yourself by your Fs' side, you won't have to worry if you look nice or how you manner, they'll love to see and praise every part of you, if you deal with physical insecurities your Fs will be very caring in this aspect too. You can behave like a little child and be goofy with your Fs, they'll make a safe space for you where you don't have to fullfil any expectation, you can relax and fully express yourself as you really want to, your Fs will also ignite your confidence a lot.
You'll have a great communication, you both will feel comfortable enough to express with eachother things you would never share with anybody else, I'm really amazed of how deep your conversations can turn, you can share your most silly thoughts with tour Fs and they would so the same with you because you will understand eachother so much. You both will feel seen and valued in your relationship, you recognize the worth of eachother and the connection you will share, your Fs will make you feel cared and protected and they will feel more brave and strong because of you, you will encourage eachother to follow your dreams. With the 4th house I see that the concept of home will be very important for you two, you both have the same expectations of what a family should be and will create it together.
You'll have a happy home life together, I see you'll have a very nice and cozy house you two will love to spend time in. You will value a lot your moments together and alone, you'll take a lot of care of your intimacy and privacy, I see you will be selective with the people you let in in your lives or the energies you allow in in general. You will achieve some of your goals that will lead you to have more responsabilities that will demand your time and energy, your Fs and you will compensate this by traveling together or make small retreats, I see that some of you will like to escape near nature on your free days. Your relationship will be filled with passion and romance, you will also gain power in some areas of your life by your Fs' side.
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httpsserene · 5 months
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𝖍𝖙𝖙𝖕𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖊'𝖘 1𝖐 𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑
welcome to the table of contents for my one-thousand followers special !
i'm baffled at the amount of love and support from all of you; in under the two-months i've been writing on this blog, i've managed to have good enough writing to convince you guys to save my blog. i started writing f1 ff's with the sole purpose to provide more black!reader based content, and i never imagined that i'd have a thousand eyes reading my delusional scenarios lol. thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart :)
as promised, the special event is a continuation of the first upload of my f1 kinktober series. those of you who were desperate for a part-two of the corruption kink with charles leclerc / max verstappen / black!reader--here it is, in abundance. a five-part series (including the f1-ktober upload). merry christmas, loves xxx
if you would like to be added to this series' taglist, send me an ask or leave a reply.
all episodes uploaded at 12 PM EST on their release date.
posts tagged as # httpss :// 1k special.
all works can be found in my table of contents (m.list).
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𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬
𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: max and charles don’t mind receiving a five-second penalty for slipping past your boundaries. seeing a black and white flag doesn’t scare them in the slightest; not when you're performing so well under their guidance. 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: charles leclerc / max verstappen x fem!black!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: multi-chaptered series.
view playlist? ↴
pilot: corruption kink w/ charles leclerc and max verstappen
innocent and virgin !reader has never touched herself before. she knows how to, in theory, but whenever she tries, she chickens out. her tried and true way of receiving pleasure is failing her. she thinks that maybe it's time to allow her relationship with her two respectful and experienced boyfriends, to reach the next step. and she'll find that they're very willing to teach her a few things.
episode two: 𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿 | handjobs | 12/9/23
slightly less innocent, virgin!reader has had her view of pleasure shifted. her libido has increased to insane levels after she finally allowed her boyfriends to fix her…dry spell. charles and max have no issues with helping her ride out her newfound sexual appetite, and figure that she may be ready to take the next step. or, more accurately, take the next hand.
soundtrack - gun • doja cat
episode three: 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗲 | fingering | 12/11/23
tainted, virgin!reader is growing tired of grinding against her boyfriends. she’s never touched herself before—no toys, no fingers, no fondling—the friction from a pillow used to be enough. but, maybe having something inside of her isn’t as terrifying as she believed. charles’ pretty pianist fingers don’t look too scary, and they way he raves about how talented max’s daunting thicker fingers are; well, she could be convinced to see what all the fuss is about.
soundtrack - pressure • ari lennox
episode four: 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 | oral sex | 12/15/23
soiled, virgin!reader is well aware of her boyfriends’ desire to eat her alive, sorry, to eat her out. from the way they can’t resist drinking her wetness off their (or her own) fingers, to the way they can’t stop running their mouths about getting their mouths on you: they’ve made how desperate they are, very clear. for some reason, she can’t get past her mental block to allow them to feast between her legs, or to taste what’s between theirs. max figures she just needs a demonstration to quell her fears; charles is a more than willing participant.
soundtrack - super freaky girl • nicki minaj
finale: 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 | vaginal sex | 12/17/23
tonight, innocent and virgin!reader will be defiled, deflowered, tarnished—whichever word you prefer. from the moment she told them she was ready to lose her virginity, they’ve been carefully planning out a special night, for her. and shockingly, there’s not an ounce of fear, anxiety, or doubt in her mind—max and charles have gained her complete trust. they haven’t given her a single reason to believe that they wouldn’t treat her right. she couldn’t have asked for better men to take her virginity—if this is corruption, she’s delighted to experience it.
soundtrack - wet dreamz • j.cole
current taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool@barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @dreamingofautopia @jayswifee @megatrilss1885 @nanamilkbread @sophia12345678 @benstormy @userlandonorris@xxniallxxsworld @starfusionsworld@hangmandruigandmav @spicybagel14 @ggaslyp1 @idontgotopartiesanymore @woozarts @yourlilitha @smartstupyd @itsmiamalfoy @ineedafictionalman @everythingabby101 @valent1na-ferrari @vetteltea @dark-night-sky-99 @svinzlec @angelfreckless
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© httpsserene2023
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weasleyreidstyles · 5 months
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chapter five
summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.
no use of y/n, but your general nickname is Meadow. All characters are aged up to be over 18.
pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader
warning(s): mentions of drugs/weed but only minor, its an angsty one folks!!
series masterlist; previous part; next part
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Madame Pomfrey had the house elves bring up food for you and the other occupants of the Hospital Wing when dinner time rolled around later that day. You enjoyed a plate full of roast chicken, potatoes and mash before the plate was magically vanished upon you finishing it before the matron came to check on you again.
Some time after that, the doors to the Hospital Wing are pushed open with an echoing creak but you didn't look up from your book to see who it was until your copy of Pride & Prejudice was plucked right out of your hands.
"Hey!" you protest, going to grab the book back from Mattheo Riddle's grasp. "Oh it's you."
"You sound so happy to see me." he teases as he sits on the edge of your bed. You stare from the fabric of the bed sheets to where he's sitting with raised brows.
"There's a perfectly good seat right next to you." you grumble as he enters your personal space.
"The seats are uncomfortable, I'd rather not sit on them again after I spent a good hour waiting for you to wake up earlier." he replied, forcing you to move over so that he could fit properly on the bed next to you.
"You stayed?" you asked incredulously. "Why?"
"You passed out the second we all saw Bell on the bed. I was worried. Sue me."
"Awh you care about me." you cooed, jokingly patting his knee before rolling your eyes.
He picked up the book that he had taken from you and flipped it around cover to cover, reading the blurb and scrunching his face up. "What's your book about? I don't understand it."
As you begin to explain Elizabeth Bennett's intricate and turbulent relationship with Mr. Darcy with fervour, Mattheo can't help but stare at you with eyes full of admiration and...something else.
Some time later, the dreaded conversation ended up coming around. You tell him how odd it felt when you saw the necklace; how your weird intuition seemed to carry over to the Hospital Wing when you saw Katie; to Dumbledore's cryptic visit.
"Dumbledore spoke to you?" he asked, curiously.
"Well at first he complimented my Occlimency abilities. Thank you by the way." you start. "But then he asked me about what happened when Katie was cursed."
Mattheo listened as you talked, nodding his head to show that he was paying attention.
"...and then he asked me to tell him what I felt when I touched a ring that he had in his possession."
"A ring?" A look crosses Mattheo's face, but it's gone in an instant.
"The magic was similar to the necklace, but different at the same time." you continue, picturing the Riddle insignia in your mind. "Dumbledore's hand is the way it is because of it."
You didn't know whether you should tell him about what Dumbledore said about Professor Slughorn, that seemed like something Dumbledore would want to be kept under wraps.
"He didn't really give me a solid answer, but he gave me sound career advice." you say with a huff.
"What happened when he gave you the ring?"
"Same thing that happened when I touched Katie. It burned me. But my magic was surrounding the ring this time. It felt...odd."
"Huh." He's quiet for a moment before he changes the subject once more.
"Your friends spoke to Professor Mcgonagall and Professor Snape earlier, after you fainted." he said. "Potter thinks it was Draco that cursed her. Accused him right in front of them."
"Did he do it? Malfoy?" you interject, Harry's theories had become more consistent over the last few weeks, and you weren't surprised to hear that he had suspected that Malfoy was behind this, despite ludicrous the allegations were.
"He had detention with Mcgonagall today. Didn't show up to transfiguration remember? He was pretty pissed off about missing the first Hogsmeade weekend." he says and you recall the detention being issued a few days ago when Malfoy appeared in the doorway of the Transfiguration classroom a quarter of an hour late.
"Right. Yeah." you say tiredly, somewhat unconvinced but you push the feeling aside when he begins to stand.
"Where are you going?" you say with a yawn, reaching for his left forearm. He winces but you don't catch it in your tired state.
"You're getting tired, and it's almost curfew. I need to get back to my common room so I don't risk getting a detention."
"Pansy's patrolling tonight. You'll be fine." you say, dragging him to sit down. "Stay a little longer. At least until I fall asleep. Please?"
The way you looked at him with your big, tired eyes caused him to falter.
"You don't really want me to stay, Princess." he murmured but he didn't move to stand again.
"I hate when you call me that." you say. "I wouldn't have asked otherwise, Mattheo. I don't want to fall asleep alone in here."
"Alright, move over then." his resolve crumbles and he moves to lie down behind you, using an arm around your waist to drag your body closer to his, his body heat warming you from the inside.
It takes you no time at all to fall asleep in his embrace, feeling the most comfortable you'd ever felt in your entire life. In your sleepy haze, you swore you felt him kiss the side of your temple, murmuring into your soft skin.
"Good night, sweetheart." he had whispered, before he fell asleep shortly after you.
~∞~
The week following his visit to the Hospital Wing, your interactions with Mattheo were few and far between.
Your lessons had dwindled after he had first started skipping out on you, but now he seemed hellbent on avoiding you altogether.
He had once again skipped your Ancient Runes lesson that week and Theo proved to be of little help when he refused to tell you where his best friend was. Pansy seemed to be growing increasingly agitated by her two friends over the course of the time Mattheo was ignoring you.
"For Salazar's sake, Teddy. Mattheo's just been a little busy this week." she said. "No need to worry. I think he's been doing extra Potions work."
"Do you know where he is now?" you ask your friend with pleading eyes.
Like Theo, she seemed reluctant to give you the boy's location, as if they knew something that you weren't supposed to know, but in the end they shared a look and relented.
"He's in the Room of Requirement." Teddy says, before his hands gently grip your shoulders. "But we never told you, okay. I don't want to die a premature death, tesoro."
"Thank you. I won't tell him you helped, don't worry Teddy." you reassured him before walking down the corridor and towards the system of staircases that would take you to the seventh floor.
Due to the interval between lessons ending and new ones beginning, it seemed to take you ages to get from point A to B, with everyone lingering in or rushing through the corridors but when you got to the familiar wall, you waited.
I need to see Mattheo.
I need to see Mattheo.
I need to see Mattheo.
I need to-
The door began materialising in front of your eyes, reminiscent of the late evenings that you'd come here with your friends for DA meetings before Umbridge and the Inquisitorial Squad had it disbanded. Your hand still had that prominent scar from the two weeks of detention you had each received: I must not disobey the Ministry.
When the door was fully formed, you twisted the handle and slipped through.
The room appeared to be huge and full to the brim with piles upon piles of junk. It was going to take you forever to find him, but you knew he was in there somewhere.
You started down a pathway that had appeared between some old arm chairs and bookshelves and followed where your gut was telling you to go.
It was quiet, too quiet and you were about to give up hope when you saw Mattheo lounging on a dark velvet chaise lounge, a blunt hanging in his lips, something shiny resting in his lap that looked an awful lot like a tiara, which he vanished away when he saw you.
"So this is what you do in your spare time?" you ask, hesitantly sitting at the edge of the chaise lounge, by his feet.
He only sighed as he took another hit of the blunt, leaving you to carry on speaking without a reply.
"How'd you even get that into the school? It's more illegal for wizards to get their hands on than muggles." you turn your head to face him only to find him staring straight ahead, avoiding your gaze altogether.
You huffed before you stood up and rounded the chaise to stand directly in front of him; he continued to stare in the opposite direction.
"For Rowena's sake, Riddle. Look at me." you snapped, using the pads of your fingers to firmly direct his face to yours.
His gaze was void of emotions when he stared at you. Like it had been all the times before when he'd antagonise Harry or Ron with his friends. His eyes were no longer soft like they had been with you these past months. They were cold and dark and angry.
If you hadn't have grown some sort of friendship with him, if you could even call it that, then you'd happily go on ignoring his existence again. But for some reason, you couldn't shake him, wouldn't shake this hold he had on you.
"What do you want, Meadow?" he asked, voice low and raspy, as if he'd not spoken in a while. "I thought you'd get the hint by now? Or are you seriously that stupid?"
"You confuse the absolute fuck out of me, Riddle." you say, beginning to grow annoyed at his apparent nonchalance. "What's your issue? You agree to help me out for Theo's sake and the second it gets complicated you what? You just....leave?"
"'S not like we're mates, Meadow." he grumbles, rolling his eyes as he takes another hit. "Actually I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be enemies."
"The whole point of the lessons is for me to help you and your friends get out, is it not?"
"To get them out. Not me. That wasn't the deal." he snaps.
"I agreed to help. That includes you, too."
"And how did you honestly expect that to go down? Huh!" he stood up so suddenly that you stumbled backwards, into the table that was behind you.
"How do you think the Order will react when you go to them, pleading for my case? The son of The Dark Lord on their side? They'd sooner call you a traitor for even associating with any of us." he had gotten closer to you, so much so that the toes of his shoes kissed your's.
"They would be understanding. If you told them how much you hate him-"
"And you think they'd actually believe that?" he snaps, stepping even closer to you. You had to press your hands against his firm chest to stop him trapping you further against the table. "They'd show mercy to Theo and the others. That's all I care about. I didn't want any of them to be involved. You need to get them out. Not me."
"But why?" you question harshly, looking at him through your lashes. His brown eyes were pure onyx now, no traces of the boy you'd gotten to know were present.
"I am my father's son, sweetheart. My fate has been sealed since the day I was born. There's no helping me." he says quietly, his eyes boring into your's.
"Let me help you. Please." you say resolutely. "We'll think of something. They have to hear you out."
"They won't."
"They have to." you insist. "What kind of people would they be if they refuse to help someone in need."
"They can't help someone who can't be saved, sweetheart."
"For fuck's sake Mattheo! Why are you being so stubborn?!" you snap, your voice raising in octaves that surprises both of you.
"Why are you so determined to save me?" he shouts back, leaning down so that your faces are level. His hands sit on either side of your thighs, bracketing you to the table as his breathe huffs against your cheek, the scent of weed and smoke overtaking your senses. He's breathing heavily, eyes flicking between your's and your lips. Mattheo seems to be holding onto what little resolve he has left before the unthinkable happens.
He's staring at your lips now. Your breathe hitches as he seems to contemplate something but you can't see his thoughts very clearly.
It's only a split second decision but you can see it, the moment he decides to let go.
"Fuck it." he mumbles before his mouth decends on your's. In your shock you don't realise that you've practically frozen until he pulls away with wide eyes.
"Shit- Meadow I'm sorry I-" you snap out of your frozen state and don't let him finish his sentence as you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and kiss him like your life depended on it.
The feeling is euphoric. His lips are like a warm and gentle hug against your own; it feels right. Like the missing piece of a never ending puzzle was finally put back into place. You're so in your head that you don't even register the unceremonious moan you let out when Mattheo's tongue sensually brushes your own. It allows him to deepen the kiss and you think you might die happily right then and there, with his soft lips on your's.
Gods, sweetheart. he groans, his inhibitions down, so you feel everything he feels. Every thought and every desire. If I knew kissing you felt this good, I would've done that much sooner.
When you eventually pull away from eachother, only a hair of space was left between you, your breathing equally heavy.
His onyx eyes held that familiar softness that he seemed to only show around you, his lips quirked into a cheeky grin.
Merlin, he was the most attractive boy you'd ever layed eyes on. It was then that you realised that you were well and truely fucked.
~∞~
omg they kissed 🫢🫢
the one bed trope gets me every time 🤭🤭 i think we can all agree that mattheos a bit of an idiot but the guy's got his secrets...😁
and i love angst and slow burns so much but i couldn't help myself lol i love a '"fuck it" and they kiss' moment but im sorry this was short. i was contemplating carrying this on or splitting the chapter into two which is what im doing so really this is more of a filled chapter for whats to come ;)
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taglist:
(striked out users are ones that i couldn't tag)
@camille-1019 @lovelyygirl8 @xluansstuff @babeylover @thejadeazalea @undercover-smutlover @adhxmoony @dreamingofonceuponatime @thepassionatereader @urmomsgayforme5 @aphroditeisamilf @devotedlycrookeddonut @purplegirls-posts @nofacenonamelikekira @foxboyapologist @lafrone @lovely-maryj @nromanovaswife @leeknows-wife @dracygf @wildlyobserving @ravenclawprincess33 @melllinaa @vellicora
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queenofapeacefuldawn · 2 months
Text
SxF Crack Theory: The Identity Of [REDACTED]'s Father
Hear me out here.... but, maybe, Twilight's father could be Yuri's boss, aka, the SSS Lieutenant.
Now, this might be a crack/joke theory, but here is the evidence I have to back up my claim (yes, I'm presenting it because I'm just Like That):
(Warning: Manga spoilers ahead)
Exhibit A: Physical Characteristics
Here is a picture of Agent Twilight:
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Here is a picture of Yuri's boss (who, from now in, will be referred to as YB, for my own convenience):
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We can see that Twilight and YB have very similar facial characteristics: bluish-grey eyes, blond hair, and a similar face shape (nose, jaw).
We never see Twilight's father's full face: only the lower half, because he has presumably forgotten his face, along with his mother's (King of Emotional Repression™️), but we can see that his jawline and shape of his mouth are very similar to Adult Twilight.
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Oh, and look at that- rather pronounced cheekbones, if I do say so myself. Where else did I see those? Hmmm
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Exhibit B: Ambiguous Fate
During the War Arc, we're never told about [REDACTED]'s father's fate. We just know he never returns to his family: and the reason why he left for the very last time, was that, "Things have been heating up at the border. I need to take a little business trip." The fact that his, a (presumably) rather important man's, body was never recovered: nor were [REDACTED] or his mother informed of his death. Of course, his body could have been lost in the bombings, or the part of [REDACTED] finding out about his father's dead could have been omitted, but for most of the part, we're left to assume about his father's dead. And... this sounds familiar to another instance...
Like the instance of [REDACTED]'s friends. He (and we) assumed they'd died in the warehouse as children, but later we see that they're alive and in the army (only to die a second time, RIP), but this time, for their deaths to be confirmed: for [REDACTED] to only receive their dog tags after the failed campaign.
This may have been a setup: for Endo to reintroduce [REDACTED]'s father, later in the story, as YB.
Anyway, one thing I've learned after reading and watching so many books, comics, and TV shows: never assume a person's dead, not unless their body/proof of their death has been explicitly shown. This belief was only reinforced after [REDACTED]'s friends.
And, [REDACTED]'s father's last known place was around the Westalian-Ostanian border. He could have escaped in the crossfire, theoretically...
Exhibit C: Fatherly Nature (?)
We all love a good found-family dynamic in the workplace. It's there with WISE, it's there with Garden, and it's kinda there with the SSS.
My main argument about this stems from the chapter which focuses on Yuri's work.
We see YB continuously worry about Yuri's physical health, in panels like:
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Obviously, this doesn't happen only in this chapter. Whenever Yuri's there, YB is also there, yelling at him to a) go to sleep, or b) STOP GETTING HIT BY BUSSES OH MY FUCKING GOD IT CAN'T HAPPEN SO MANY TIMES TO ONE PERSON-
And, of course, there's the Yuri Sick Fic chapter:
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Not gonna lie, this point is extremely weak, if I brought this up in court I'd be laughed out of there-
Anyway, I just wanted to put this in.
If it does turn out that YB is [REDACTED]'s father then. Bestie. Buddy. How are you managing to be a better father-figure to some insolent kid who gets hit by busses than you were to your actual son, like 20 years ago. Maybe he learned along the way.
Exhibit D: Symbolism (???)
Oh, look, another point I'm pulling out of my ass! But whatever, you're reading it <3
During the War Arc, we see Twilight sustain two major injuries:
One, as a child, when his home is bombed:
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And two, as an adult, in the army:
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and these injuries are both to his left eye.
Of course, this has given rise to theories of him not being able to see his left eye, it being his blind spot, and Yor guarding his blind spot on missions, etc., etc., which I love bc ✨Twiyor✨
Getting back on point, if we look at YB, we see that he has injuries too... or rather, remnants of them, what with the scars he has...
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which, are also on his left eye. Huh! Interesting... this might just be me, but could this be parallels to how similar he and his father were? Are? His father also wanted peace between Ostania and Westalis: but he taught his child that in a very harsh manner (by slapping him), but Twilight wants to teach Anya that in a kind manner. Whenever we see him teaching her, he never loses his cool with her (of course, he loses a lot of hope, but this man's a pessimist, what can we do).
Also shows how much kinder Twilight is, compared to his father.
---
Of course, these points are very weak, and it might just be that Endo reused some character designs for efficiency, but let me be, ok!! This is a crack theory!!! Let me be a clown!!!! AKDFJSJF
If I'm being honest, this post was inspired by a convo I'd had with my friend, around the time Chapter 86 was released. She was theorizing that [REDACTED]'s dad is the Shopkeeper, and I was theorizing it was this dude. Of course, our theorizing was sidetracked by Chapter 86, and a certain panel within it, but... WHATEVER.
So, what are your thoughts? Obviously, my own theory is very weak (for example, why would the SSS accept a Westalian citizen into their ranks? Why would he even join the SSS? Could he have defected? Abandoned his wife and kid?), but this was fun to think about, lol. What are your theories? I think the Shopkeeper-is-the-dad theory and the YB-is-his-dad theory are both cool, so, what do you think?
(Also, yeah, I know, his dad could very well be dead. I just refuse to believe it, bc I'm just Like That <3)
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beybaldes · 10 months
Text
no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft
Roy Kent × Fem!Reader
word count: 9.8k
summary: jamie tartt once told you Roy needed someone to show him it was okay to be soft; Roy has found that person in you
content warning: spoilers for the plot of 'the couple next door' by Shari Lapena, tooth rotting fluff with the whole Kent bloodline and the Richmond boys, neither reader nor Roy has parents because I said so, allusions to smut but basically non written.
masterlist
a/n: this is technically a part 2 to my fic ‘it was simple, it was sweetness, it was good to know’ but can 100% be read as a standalone fic!! Thank you for all the love on the first part I acc can’t believe the amount of love and support it received 🥲🥲
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"Hey, hot stuff." Your hands came to rest against Roy's shoulders, squeezing, then moving slowly across his collar bones and down his chest, coming to rest connected just above his heart. A featherlight kiss was pressed to the shell of his ear, and then another behind his ear, followed by a trail of quick kisses down his neck until your face was buried in the crook of it. "How's your book?"
"Fucking great." Roy answered back, voice low and mellow, maintaining the peaceful atmosphere in your living room.
Ever since you'd moved in together a year and a half ago, your entire house had become a sanctuary for the two of you. Roy's new position as manager made it so that even though you worked together, you saw much less of each other during the workday - mainly because it wasn't at his leisure to go in and out of your office all day any more. Even if you did spend every minute of every day around each other, you knew you could never get sick of Roy; you'd become quite the experts at communicating how you were feeling and what you were thinking, especially since every time he tried to keep you out, you would figure it out anyway.
"I mean, I've had my theories throughout about who did it, but I'd never have guessed this." Roy missed your touch as soon as you let go of him, reaching out so that he could hold your hand in his tightly while you walked around the couch to take a seat by his side. "I thought surely, what, with the husband having the affair he did it - and I was half right, the husband staged the kidnapping."
"I knew something was up with him!" You gasped, wrapping your arms around Roy's waist as you curled into his side, the hand that had just been holding yours pulling his blanket to cover your lap then moving to rest across your shoulders. "How was the husband involved? He didn't hurt the baby did he?" He used the palm of his hand to press your head against his chest, tucking your hair back behind your ear and then moving his hand to rest against your bicep, scratching his fingers gently into the exposed flesh there. "Oh my god, he didn't, like, get rid of it so he could be with the neighbour did he?"
"Slow down, slow down," Roy shushed, folding the corner of the page he was on, something so close to the end of the book you could count the pages if you tried. He pressed a chaste, warm kiss to the crown of your head, placing the book down beside him on the couch. "Let me explain, Angel." Roy's other hand, now free from holding the book, cradled your chin gently, tilting your head up so he could press a tender kiss to your lips. "So Anne's dad-"
Another gasp slipped past your lips. More then anything, you wanted to let Roy explain the plot of what he'd been reading, but his nightly updates had kept you on the edge of your seat. Despite not having read a single page, apart from the 2 chapters you read aloud to Roy earlier in the week when he was feeling a little under the weather, you were completely and utterly enthralled; desperate to know how it ended. Besides, this daily discussion was the highlight of your days. No matter how good or bad your day had been, if you'd gone out of your way to ignore each other or talked nonstop: Roy still talked and you still listened. "What did Anne's dad have to do with it?"
"You'll see." He chastised, pressing a kiss to the tip-of your nose before continuing with his explanation. "Marco assists in kidnapping the baby, why? Because his business is going out of money and he plans on faking a ransom note for asking for the exact amount of money he needs to pay up to save his business." Roy slid his hand under the blanket, pulling your legs up and into his lap as you brought your head up from against his chest. Threading your fingers through his hair, you looked at him confused. "Anne's parents are rich, remember? But they won't give him the money so he stages this kidnapping to force them to pay the ransom."
"No." You gasped, you hand clapping against your mouth. "Why wouldn't they give their son in law the money? They do know it directly affects their daughter and grand-daughter, right?"
"They won't give him the money because they don't like him, so get this, the guy who convinced Marco to stage the kidnapping was hired by Anne's dad." Roy laughed at the gasp you let out, you completely enthralled with the story and him completely enthralled with you. He always was. "Anne's dad staged the whole thing because he wanted Anne and Marco to split up. And just when you think everything's okay because they got the baby back; Anne murders the neighbour because she had been having an affair - with Anne’s dad.”
You were practically jumping in your seat.
Sometimes you wish you had the same amount of patience as Roy so you could actually sit down and read with him. Most of the time, however, you were more then happy to listen to him passionately talk you through what he was reading, were happy to watch that wonderful smile you loved so much curl onto his lips.
"But!"
"But-" you repeated after Roy, pressing a kiss to his cheek, urging him to hurry up with his ending; you were waiting to hear it.
"But, Anne doesn't remember killing the neighbour, so there is this whole unreliable light cast on the whole story; it might not have even happened!" Roy expected to find you staring at him in shock, some commentary on what you think happened on the tip of your tongue, but it never came.
Instead, he found you staring at him with complete adoration, like you'd watched him mould the galaxies in his hands, hang the stars in the sky and spin the world on his fingernails. To you, he did, he really did. You leant forward a little, using the hand that you'd tangled in Roy's hair to pull him closer to you so that you could press your lips to his. The kiss was soft and tender, something that Roy, ever intense, had really come to enjoy through out your relationship; you brought out this entirely different side to him that he wasn't even sure existed until he met you.
"I love you." You murmured against his lips, going in for another quick peck before you pulled away, gracing him with the sight of a smile. "I love how passionate you get when talking about the stuff you love, and that smile - ugh that smile, Roy - you're killing me here."
Roy was certain he was doing the right thing. So certain, in fact, that he'd bought the ring the day you got together: Phoebe's accusation in your living room that you were getting married telling him everything he needed to know. The life Roy had dreamed of was right before him, all he had to do now was take it. "Marry me."
"What?" The hand that had began to caress his cheek as you kissed and the hand in his hair stilled; your entire body stilled in fact, and as quickly as he'd become confident enough to ask the question, he'd become nervous again.
"Fuck, what I meant was; will you marry me?" Roy shuffled underneath you, pulling out a ring box from somewhere behind him, though you weren't sure where considering you knew his pyjama bottoms didn't have pockets. "I'm not the kind of guy for a big speech thing, but I wish I was because you fucking deserve that kind of thing. You deserve a lot more then I can ever give you, actually, and yet you still love me day in and day fucking out. I'll admit, sometimes I don't get why you do."
"Roy..." You whimpered, tears brimming in your eyes as you moved both of your hands to cradle his face.
"But you do. And I'd truly, really, be the luckiest man in the world, if you would marry grumpy, old me." Tears had formed in Roy's own eyes, the pair of you totally overwhelmed by the intimate and tender moment. You'd never been more in love with Roy then right now. "Please fucking say yes, I'm an absolute mess without you"
"Yes, please." You whispered, hands still cradling Roy's face even though your eyes remained on the ring in front of you. It was as if he'd peeked inside your brain and made the perfect ring; it was simple yet elegant and entirely you, it was really perfect. This time, you answered louder. "Please, yes."
You pulled Roy's face to you, pressing a firm and hot kiss to his lips. You let your hands leave his face, sliding up and over his cheekbones until you reached his hair, twisting your fingers into it and pulling him even tighter against you, deepening the kiss as you did. "A million times yes, Roy, yes, yes, yes." Tears had begun to freely flow down your cheeks, though there was not an ounce of sadness to them. You were insurmountably happy - over the fucking moon. "I'd say yes in every fucking language in the world if I could. I love you Roy." You bit your lip back between your teeth, trying to contain your smile since your cheeks burned. "Mrs Kent." A giggle slipped past your lips. "That's me."
"Fuck yeah, that's you." Roy growled, pulling you into him and pressing a kiss to your lips. His grip in your hair allowed him to tilt your head back slightly, giving him the perfect angle to push his tongue past your lips with a tug of his hand on your hair. If he had already put the ring on your finger, he'd have picked you up and taken you to bed then and there with the moan you let out. "Now, Mrs Kent, you going to let me put this ring on your fucking finger or what?"
~*~
You were thankful Roy had proposed on a Friday night; not only because that meant you didn't have to worry about how late he kept you up or how quickly you needed to regain the ability to walk straight, but because it gave you the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday to figure out how to tell your friends. Phoebe and Molly were coming over for dinner later that night, but you had a slight feeling you weren't actually going to have to say anything to them - you had no doubt Roy had consulted Molly over it, and Phoebe, well, you just knew she'd pick up on it the second she saw you.
"C'mere." Roy groaned beside you, not giving you the chance to move yourself before he was wrapping one arm around your waist and the other under your thigh. He slid you across the bed with ease, years of training still paying off despite the fact he hadn't played on a pitch in nearly 4 years now. Placing the leg he'd grabbed over his own leg, he pulled you flush against him, chest pressed to chest. "Good morning, Angel, sleep good?"
Roy's voice had a deeper edge then usual to it in the morning. "Always do when I'm with you, Handsome." You purred, gently scratching your fingers against his chest. "Although I've got this awful kink in my neck, must’ve slept funny."
"I can think of a few other kinks you've got." Roy murmured against your shoulder, pressing open mouthed kissed along it and up your neck. When he nipped at the sensitive skin just under your ear, you pushed yourself away from him, not out of want, but out of necessity.
"We've got guests in a few hours, remember?"
"I can do a lot in an hour alone." Given how late the two of you had been up doing things, you'd slept in till lunch, but that didn't make the sound of sleepy and slow morning sex with Roy any less appealing. God, the thought of it alone had you wanting to cancel everything ever and stay here forever.
"Hmm, that you can do." Pulling his head out of the crook of your neck, you pressed a kiss to his lips, tangling your hands into Roy's hair and trying impossibly hard to get even closer to him. "Show me what you got, coach."
A growl rolled out of Roy's throat and he was quick to get started on his own assault of your lips, fully using the position he'd pulled you into to his advantage.
~*~
After everything the two of you spent your early afternoon doing, you only had 2 hours to make sure everything was ready for when Molly and Phoebe showed up, and since your cooking skills ended at turkey dinosaurs and pizza, you left most of the work down to Roy. He let you help prepare ingredients, standing behind you with an arm wrapped around your waist and a hand guiding your hand to cut things a specific way. But when the time came to actually cook the meal, he guided you out of the kitchen, encouraging you to go and get ready with a soft kiss; one to your cheek and another to your temple.
When you'd showered and gotten ready, you made it your turn to kick Roy out of the kitchen, promising not to touch anything unless he asked you to. You made sure to set the table all nice and proper for Phoebe and Molly's arrival, still slightly starstruck by the actual use of the dining table and not just eating dinner on your couch like you'd become so accustomed to before you and Roy moved in together. Sometimes though, especially when Phoebe stayed over, you'd all eat dinner together on the sofa, spy kids playing in the background, for old times sake. And before you knew it, you'd heard the knock at the door.
Swinging the door open, you knelt down immediately, sweeping Phoebe into your arms and hugging her tightly. With her head tucked in between your shoulder and neck, you stuck out your left hand at Molly, wriggling your ring finger enthusiastically. Phoebe squealed your name, wrapping her little arms tightly around your neck; even though you'd seen her two days ago when you picked her up from school, she still missed you as much as if she hadn't seen you for a million years.
As you went to stand back up, phoebe kept her grip on your neck, a silent plea for you to pick her up. Even at 9 years old, she still loved being paraded around in your arms, taking full advantage of your love for her and her love of being close to you. You pulled Molly into the house by the hand, kicking the door shut with your foot and leading them to the kitchen, where Roy was finishing up dinner.
"Hi, Uncle Roy!" Phoebe opted to stay in your arms instead of wiggling out of them to give Roy a 'hello' hug, knowing he was busy cooking and shouldn't be interrupted.
"Hey Phoebe, dinner will be ready in 2 minutes, okay? Why don't you go and grab your phoebe mug from your room before we all sit down?" When you and Roy moved in together, it was a unanimous decision that Phoebe needed her own room in your house; and when you were moving her things from Roy and your separate houses into your new house you got her a 'phoebe mug' as a housewarming gift. It was a bright pink ceramic mug, her name written once by you on the front and once by Roy on the back - it was the only thing she would drink out of when she was at your house.
The second phoebe had slipped out of the room, you turned to Molly with a squeal, the two of you grabbing tightly onto each other and jumping around the kitchen. Roy watched fondly as the two of you gushed over the ring Molly had already seen a thousand times. She took your hand in hers, running her finger over the ring with a featherlight touch, tears filling her waterline. Molly grabbed your hand and pulled it over her shoulder, hugging you again, though this time more tenderly, more teary-eyed.
"I'd say welcome to the family, but I think you've been a part of it since the day you met Phoebe." Tears began to fill your own eyes at the words she whispered against the shell of your ear. "You make him so happy, so, so happy, and that's all I could ever want for Roy. It's all I ever way for you." Molly pulled away from the hug, wiping her thumb under your eye as your tears threatened to spill over. "He loves you. We all do. I love you."
"I love you too, Molly." Just as quickly as she'd pushed you away, you pulled her in for another hug, squeezing her tightly as though it would convey everything you were feeling. It did.
At the sound of feet running down your hallway, Molly jumped away from you, quickly wiping at her own eyes before turning to face her little girl. She gently took the mug from her hands and passed it to you, ushering her to the dining table while you and Roy plated up.
"What did she say to you?" Roy asked, knocking his hip against yours as he he started putting food into each plate.
You pulled Phoebe's favourite cordial off your shelf, pouring some in then moving past Roy to get to the sink to dilute it. "Nothing." He couldn't see the smile that formed on your face as you thought on what your future sister in law had said to you moments prior. "Just that she loves me, she loves you. That she's happy for us."
Roy wrapped an arm around you from behind as he came to join you at the sink, leaning past you to put his cooking tongs in. "I can't wait to see Phoebe's reaction." Roy murmured against the skin of your neck, pressing a kiss there then spinning you around to face him. "She absolutely adores you. She's gonna be over the fucking moon."
"Not more over the moon then me." You pressed another kiss to his lips, making sure to keep the cordial far away from you and Roy incase it spilled.
Roy turned his back on you, picking up two of the bigger plates. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."
"Oh really?" You asked, picking up the final big plate and Phoebe's smaller own. "I get to marry the love of my life and be officially related to some of the people I love the most. I think I win."
"We'll see." With one last kiss the two of you headed towards the dining table, all four of you tucking into dinner and telling each other about your weeks like clockwork; though you and Roy refrained from one pretty big event till after dinner.
When your food was all finished, you'd given Phoebe a bigger bowl of ice cream then usual, immediately prompting her to be suspicious. "Either I've been really good at school this week, or you guys have done something really bad."
"It's not like that Pheeb's, we're actually celebrating." Phoebe's head perked up at that as she mentally checked it wasn't anyone's birthday, or 'uncles day,' or Mother's Day, or 'future aunties day' (as she'd dubbed it) and she'd forgotten. When she ruled that she definitely hadn't forgotten anything, she turned to you in wait.
"What are we celebrating?"
"Me and your uncle Roy-"
"Holy shit." Smiles crept on all three of your faces as Phoebe pieced it together in her mind. "Are you getting married? Please tell me you're getting married?"
"Are getting married." As you brought your ring adorned hand up for her to see, Phoebe burst into tears, jumping off of her seat and running around to the other side of the table where you and Roy sat. She was quick to climb into Roy's lap, wrapping one arm around each of your knecks to pull you into a hug.
"This is the best day of my life." She whispered, her words coming out in a whine as she tried desperately hard to keep her tears in. "Do I get to be a flower girl?"
"Of course you get to be the flower girl, what kind of fucking question is that?" Roy scolded though a smile remained on his face, you wouldn't have anyone one else as your flower girl. Your niece was barely walking and besides, not that you'd ever admit it with them present, but you much preferred Phoebe to any blood relative you had.
Phoebe's face turned into a frown at Roy's words. "You owe me £1, uncle Roy."
"After the S-bomb you dropped before? I think we're even."
~*~
When Monday rolled around, you were extremely nervous. It wasn't that you thought any of the people at Nelson road would react badly to your engagement, you knew non of them would, you were nervous in the way you are at 8 years old on Christmas Eve - in a giddy way when you can't wait for what you feel to be shared.
You'd come up with a plan in bed the night before - announce it to Beard first, then to the boys, and then you'd make your way up to Rebecca's office to announce it to her, Higgins and Keeley (who'd you thankfully knew would be at the dog track this morning for a meeting).
To execute step 1 with no interruptions, you made sure to arrive an hour earlier to work then you usually would - knowing that Beard liked to show up early and the boys would show up as close to practice as they could get away with. Just as you expected, Beard was alone in the office, only a couple of other people in the building at all, making for an easy entrance.
"Well, to what do I owe the pleasure of you two showing up earlier then you ever have in the 5 years I've known you." Beard asked, his feet perched high up on his desk and an open book dropped against his chest.
"I needed to ask you something, actually." Roy wrapped an arm around your waist, rubbing soothing circles into your skin, silently encouraging you to ask what you wanted to ask.
"Fire away, Katniss."
"I actually wanted to ask, um, well, if you'd walk me down the aisle?"
Beard stilled, then took a shaky breath, then stilled again. He slowly picked up the book from his chest, dog-eared the page and swung his feet down from his desk, standing and crossing the room so that he could stand in front of you. "You, you-" Another shaky breath. "You want me? Me? To walk you down the aisle?"
"Yeah. You're the closest thing I've ever had to a father and-"
Beard pulled you into a hug, something he'd never done before, and tentatively wrapped his arms under yours, pinning you against him. He was warm and smelled like cinnamon, and though you'd never been a big fan of the scent, you found right now that you'd happily bask in it forever. "Yes, of course I will, it'd be an honour."
No further words were exchanged between the two of you until he pulled away, quickly wiping at his eyes before turning to Roy with a scowl. "I can fight, just so you know." He took a step closer to him, and you swore you'd never seen Roy so afraid as when Beard stuck a firm finger in his chest. "If you hurt her, I'll hurt you." Then he retreated to his chair, picking up his book and replacing it against his chest. "So when were you thinking? I always thing spring is the best time for a wedding."
The three of you discussed everything from what date you were thinking to ideal song choices while you waited for the changing room to fill up, wanting to make sure everyone had arrived before you shared the news. When Roy had done his 6th head count and found everyone had arrived, he nodded towards the door, asking if you were ready to go and tell everyone. You nodded, letting Roy lead the way and hanging in the doorway of the coaches office until Beard was at your side.
"You didn't have to threaten him, you know. He's never hurt me once, I don't think he's going to start now."
Beard folded his arms across his chest then nudged you gently in the side as the the two of you came to stand next to Roy, him shouting 'whistle,' silencing the changing room. "Hey, that's what dads are for."
"Before I start, someone grab Nate and Will from the boot room." Jamie, being closest to the boot room, dashed in and right back out, Will and Nate right behind him. "Right. Angel, the floor is yours."
You thanked Roy before turning back to the boys, all of them waiting anxiously as they waited to see what you had to say that was so important Roy had even called Will and Nate out. "I need to know if you're all available next June - we're talking the end of June, early July." Thankfully, your job at Richmond often required planning things far in advance, even if far in advance was a year away, so no one expected anything as you started to speak. "I know it's the off season but I need you all here, in Richmond. Especially Colin."
"Why especially me?" Colin asked, one hand nervously wringing the other.
"Because I absolutely refuse to get married if my man of honour won't be able to make it."
The whole changing room erupted into a chorus of gasps, quickly followed by cheers and players and kitmen alike swarming you and Roy with hugs and cries of congratulations - which, for once, he actually entertained.
Colin was the first to reach for you to pull you into a hug, his hands shaking as he did. "You really want me to be your man of honour? At your wedding?"
"Of course I do, Col." It didn't get any less tearful asking people to be apart of your wedding. "Your my best friend. I love you." No sooner then Colin had pulled you into another hug had you been torn out of it, by a very excited Jamie.
"I can't fucking believe it me. Well, I can actually, but I also can't." He pulled you in for an even tighter hug then Colin had, probably down to the fact he had more excitement then nerves coursing through his system. "Feels like yesterday me and Phoebe were sat on your couch convincing you Roy did love you, and now look at yous."
"Will Phoebe be at the wedding?" Isaac had spun you out of Jamie's hold and into his, keeping one arm around your shoulder as he spoke to you. "Cause I don't want to be the only person eating the turkey dinosaurs; there will be turkey dinosaurs right?"
"Of course there will be, Isaac." Will pulled you out from under Isaac's arm and into a sweet, although brief, hug. "Right? Otherwise I might have to RSVP no."
"Im sure it can be arranged, what, with all of Roy's footballer money." The two laughed at your words, though a certain footballer turned coach found them more amusing.
"All my footballer money, huh?"
"I hope the fact I'm only marrying you for your money doesn't make you want to call off the wedding." You teased, spinning around and wrapping your arms around Roy's neck.
He pressed a slow and sensual kiss to your lips, ignoring the teasing shouts and cheers from his team. "Hmm, you're lucky you're cute." Roy pressed another kiss to your lips, paying no mind to the curious stares of the team around him. Though when they began to linger for a minute too long, he pulled away from you with a sigh. "Right, 50 laps, all of you." When no one moved, he raised his voice. "Now!"
Roy intertwined his fingers with yours, waving a goodbye to Beard but promising to be back before the boys had finished their 50 laps.
Keeley had reacted just how you expected her to - with many screams and squeals and a tight hug that nearly knocked you off the ground. Rebecca and Higgins were much more reserved in their responses but each offered a hug and a congratulation's to the happy couple. Roy kept your fingers intertwined the whole time, squeezing your hand tight each time someone reached out for a hug but putting up with their love otherwise.
You couldn't wait to marry him.
~*~
Knowing that the off season would start around  the beginning of June, you'd decided early on the last week of June was the perfect time for the two of you to get married. And while the end of June was still a month and a half away, you were seriously considering calling the wedding off.
When you'd found out you were pregnant in February, you knew you had to keep it a close secret until you'd finished the first trimester, just incase anything happened to you or the baby, and each week since you'd found out you kept swearing to yourself you were going to tell Roy. You still hadn't. Which brought you to right now, where you were crying on the floor of your ensuite bathroom at the dead of night, at just over 12 weeks pregnant and a baby bump beginning to show.
Given the cold weather of early spring you'd kept it hidden pretty well so far, but with the progressively warmer weather, it was getting harder and harder to hide. Above that, you were now very much aware that since the baby bump had appeared, it was only going to get bigger - and you were in absolute tears over wether or not you were still going to fit into the outfit you'd picked. While your choice of outfit for your wedding wasn't anything extravagant, it made you feel extremely pretty, and hugged you in just the right way - it wouldn't if you were four months pregnant and with a baby bump that you felt was the size of Saturn.
One particularly loud sob had you clamping a hand over your mouth, hoping and praying to anything out there that Roy hadn't heard you. You didn't want him stressing, especially when you were crying over trivial things considering the life you'd always dreamed was within your grasp.
Roy's eyes blinked open though he wasn't entirely sure why, however, when he rolled over and attempted to wrap his arms around you, he was met with cold and empty sheets. The cool feel of the sheets beneath his fingers had him shooting awake; clearly you'd been out of bed a while, and considering it was pushing 2am, his first thought was that you were sick. Which wasn't too far from the truth.
Slowly, he made his way towards your en-suite bathroom, rubbing at his eyes to get him to wake up quicker. Pushing the door open, his entire being froze at the sight of you crying on the bathroom floor, him immediately falling to the ground next to you and pulling you into his lap. One hand brushed your hair out of your face while the other cupped the back of your head, pressing it into the crook of his neck. "It's okay Angel, I'm here, I'm here."
It took Roy roughly 15 minutes of rocking you gently in his arms and whispering soothing words into your hair before your sobs calmed down enough that you could talk without your words turning into a whimper. "C'mon Angel, talk to me." The way Roy oh so gently cradled your face had tears springing to your eyes again. "Or is it about me? Do you want me to call Molly? I'm sure she wouldn't mind-"
"No, it's about me." A fresh set of tears were rolling down your cheeks, but the heaving sobs that had been coming from your chest before ceased. "It's me, I've ruined everything."
"Angel..."
"I just wanted to wear a nice fucking outfit on my wedding day, and I can't, and its making me so sad it's stupid." Roy's thumb continuously wiped at the tears that were furiously running down your cheeks. "And it makes me even more sad because, because, I'm getting everything I've ever dreamed of and I'm sad over something stupid like what I can wear."
"It's not stupid, Angel face." Roy murmured against your temple, the scratch of his beard against your skin familiar and comforting. "Nothings stupid if it makes you so upset. Just talk me through it, yeah? Why can't you wear what you picked? Did it get damaged or something?"
"No, no, it's fine, it's just- it won't fit me anymore." Roy pressed a kiss to your temple, immediately spouting words of reassurance that it would still fit you and if it didn't he'd hire the best tailor in the world to make it fit and that regardless, you'd look incredibly beautiful no matter what you wore. You shook your head gently. "It's not that Roy, it's, I'm-"
You readjusted yourself in Roy's lap, turning so that your legs were either side of his, caging him in. You wrapped your arms around his neck, looking down at the bump you could just see through one of Roy's old jerseys you'd fallen asleep in, while you avoided his concerned gaze. "It's not going to fit me anymore, because I'm pregnant, Roy."
Silence filled the bathroom.
When you finally gained the courage to look up at Roy, tears were pooled in his eyes, that wonderful smile of his making the most tender appearance you'd ever seen. "You're pregnant?" He whispered, mumbling the two words over, and over, and over again. "You're pregnant."
Before you could ask Roy if he was okay, he was pressing his lips to yours, allowing the tears to fall from his eyes though without the noise of a sob. He simply kissed you over, and over, and over again, only pulling away when he could no longer contain the smile that what pulling at his lips. Your hands cradled his cheeks, wiping away each tear gently with the pad of your thumb. "I can't believe I'm crying." He scoffed, though didn't move away from to ur touch as you continued to wipe away his tears.
"If it makes you feel any better, I find the vulnerability of it incredibly hot."
One of Roy's hands moved from the side of your thighs to cup your cheek, pushing hair back behind your ear as a watery smile took over his face.
"You know," Roy paused, tenderly running his fingers up and down the side of your neck as his hand slipped down from your cheek to hold you there. "If you'd come to me 5 years ago, back when Ted and Beard first started, and told me in 5 years time I'd have everything I'd ever dreamed of? And, with the gorgeous woman from the office outside the changing rooms? I would've laughed in your face and told you to fuck off." After a moments thought, he added. "I probably wouldn't have let anyone get close enough to me to tell me that in the first place, to be honest."
"Look how far you've come." You mused, one hand slipping into the hair at the base of Roy's neck as his tears slowly stopped. "Some might say that I've made you go soft.”
Roy laughed, head tilted back against the bathroom wall as he was prevented from throwing it back further. The tilt of his head upwards granted you the perfect position to press a chaste kiss to his lips. He smiled at you softly, bringing his hand forward from the side of your neck so that he could cup your jaw. "To be loved, is to be changed." He hummed, his chest tightening as tears filled your eyes once more.
"I love you, Roy." You whispered, as though even saying it would break the sincerity of the words slipping from your lips. Although you'd said them a thousand times, it was like Roy was hearing it for the first time all over again. "Like I really, really love you Roy." Leaning forward, you rested your forehead against his. "So much... so much so that I feel like I'm never going to be able to express it enough, like if I don't get it out of me, I might die."
Roy pressed a searing kiss to your lips, sliding his hand back up your jaw and under your ear, tangling his fingers in the hair there. "I love you too, more then i ever thought I was capable of loving anyone.” Roy leaned in for another kiss then pulled away with a smirk as you ground yourself into him. "Want me to show you how much I love you, yeah?"
"Definitely."
Roy put his hands back to their original place under your thighs, slowly moving the two of you from your position on the bathroom floor to standing once more. When he was standing, you held in his arms with your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, you continued the clash of tongue and teeth you'd started moments again. However, before he could get started on showing you just how much he loved you, you leaned away from him, eyes running over his whole face. "You might have to hold off on doing that thing with your hips, y'know, because of the baby."
"I'll stop doing that when the doctor tells me to stop."
~*~
Fortunately for you, at your next check up the following Thursday, the doctor gave you the all clear - on the health of the baby and the fact Roy could continue working magic with his hips. Considering you were nearly 14 weeks along, the ultrasound technician had offered to let you know the gender of the baby, but both you and Roy had agreed that you didn't want to know. You so seriously didn't want anyone to know, in fact, that Roy made a show of ripping up the envelope that contained the baby's gender right in front of the ultrasound technician after she offered it out to you; her suggestion of a gender reveal dying on her tongue.
Roy had been nothing but attentive since he'd found out; moving at your beck and call even more then normal, so much so that people around Nelson road were beginning to notice.
"Alright, what's going on?" The second Roy left your office, Isaac, Colin and Will crowed into the room, locking the door behind them. If you weren’t such a veteran of their shenanigans, you'd be getting concerned. "Are you dying?"
"Why would I be dying?" You asked, clicking the email you'd been writing closed, giving the three lads your undivided attention.
"Roy's been following you, like, more then usual though." Isaac stated, folding his arms tightly across his chest. "Weird, innit."
Before you could question what they found weird about you talking to and hanging around your fiancé, Will stepped forward, his hands tucked sheepishly in his pockets. "You're pregnant, right? I'm like 80% sure you're pregnant."
Your hand came to rest against the small bump you'd concealed under your Richmond sweater.
"Holy fuck boyo." Colin gasped, smacking his hand into Will's chest. "She is. How did you know?"
"She's glowing." Isaac and Colin tilted their heads in sync while their gaze remained directly on you, as though they were trying to see what Will saw. When it appeared they couldn't, Will let out a sigh, scratching nervously at the back of his neck. "I don't know; maybe it's the lighting."
Silence took over your small office space, the four of you alternating between staring at each other and the hand that rested against your stomach.
"Angel, you got-" Roy paused at the sight before him, scanning the room with a pointed glare. While Isaac had had the sense to lock the main door to your office when he started his interrogation, it had seemed he had forgotten to lock the connecting door from your office into the changing rooms. You'd never been more thankful to be in an office with two doors.  After a few more seconds of assessment, he seethed out a "Fuck! Not a word of this to anyone, yeah?"
All three lads nodded in silence, scurrying from the room after a particularly harsh glare from Roy had told them they had overstayed their welcome in your office. As your head fell into your hands due to the stress of it all, Roy crossed the room, slipping his fingers into your hair and scratching gently at your scalp. "They're not going to tell anyone, Angel, don't stress."
"But, what-"
"No buts, or what if's, or anything." Roy chastised, pulling your head out of your hands and crouching down to meet you at eye level. He took your hands in his own, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. "We tell everyone when you're ready. And if that's after the wedding, then that's after the wedding." Roy pressed a kiss to your knuckles. "And that's that."
You let out a long sigh, weight lifted from your shoulders at Roy's gentle touch and soothing words. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
"You've mentioned it once or twice."
~*~
You were too scared to put your outfit on. After almost 10 months of planning every detail and waking up to see your engagement ring on your finger, you were finally getting to be Mrs Kent. And you were too scared to go out there and get dressed.
When Will, Colin and Isaac found out you were pregnant, it was on accident, but going out there, before your man of honour, bridesmaids, Phoebe and Beard to put on your outfit would be intentionally revealing your baby bump. It was so stupid, you thought, to be this worried about something that would make people happy - that would make you and Roy happy. But a small part of you just wanted things to work out how you'd planned then in your head; like being able to wear what you'd picked to marry the love of your life.
However, you wanted to get married to Roy more then you cared about keeping the baby a secret.
Everyone gasped as you walked into the main part of the hotel room. You'd forgone a dressing gown in favour of getting ready in the comfort of pyjama shorts and one of Roy's old jerseys, wanting to have a part of him with you even though you wouldn't see him the night before the wedding.
Roy had actually wanted to forgo the traditional 'no seeing the bride bullshit,' him in favour of spending every second he could get with you, but Keeley and Jamie had convinced him it would make that moment of you walking down the aisle all the more special. Though as you walked into the room, you'd wished more then anything you'd convinced Keeley to let him stay with you. All you wanted was his hand in yours as you did this.
All eyes fell to the shadow of a baby bump that could be seen through the loose material of Roy's jersey; it was the one he wore at his very first Richmond match, Kent printed and worn proudly on the back. No one moved or even dared to breath.
"Surprise?" You didn't mean for it to come out as a question, but the tense silence and feel of everyone's eyes on you had you shying away from your friends and family in a way you'd never done before. "I'm pregnant!"
Molly was the first to move, crossing the length of the room and pulling you into an embrace. "I love you." She whispered against your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "I'm going to be an auntie." Within seconds the remaining people in the room swarmed you into one big group hug. Each of Colin, Keeley, Rebecca and Beard whispered congratulations to you, telling you just how beautiful you looked and how excited they were to see you walk down the aisle. Phoebe, however, pulled the funniest face at you, her brow tense in the spitting image of Roy.
"You're not wearing that, are you?"
Phoebe had magically broke the tension of the room, smiles all around as Molly and Keeley ushered you back to the other side of the door, helping you into your outfit and making sure your hair stayed in the way you'd styled it when you got changed. Fully dressed and feeling yourself, you stepped back into the main room with newfound confidence.
You were going to marry Roy - Roy who updated you on his book every night and valued your opinion on it, who still brought you lunch everyday at work, who was willing to hold you on the bathroom floor at 3am when he should've been sleeping, who made you feel like you were the only person in a room that mattered - and you couldn't be more excited.
Colin held your hand the entire drive from the hotel and the whole way from the car to the church doors. Only two pieces of wood separated you from everything you'd ever wanted. He pressed a featherlight kiss to your cheek and wished you luck before heading inside, leaving just you and Beard outside the building.
"You nervous?" He asked, moving his hand so that it rested lovingly on the small of your back.
"It's Roy." Roy always made you nervous. From the smile that had you weak in the knees when he actually decided to show it, to the butterflies the simple movement of his fingers against your skin caused; Roy had you swooning every time he looked at you. "I can't wait to get in there."
"Can you wait a second?" Ted Lasso was stood behind you, hands bashfully tucked into suit pants pockets.
"Ted." You gasped, opening your arms but not leaving Beard's side. The American rushed towards you, scooping you into a tender hug. "What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't make it..."
"Well, you know how Roy is, stubborn, hard-headed," Ted had aged a little since you last saw him on English soil, but he still held that quintessential ted spirit to him; even though he looked a lot more tired then you ever remembered him being. "Will do anything for the people he loves. Even if that's calling someone everyday for 8 months straight and convincing them to clear their calendar."
Roy who called one of your favourite people daily until he convinced them to make time to come to your wedding despite the fact they'd have to fly halfway across the world to attend.
"Well, I'm glad you're here Ted." He pressed a kiss to your temple, unwrapping himself from you and flattening out the front of his suit.
"I'll see you in there." Ted walked to the doors Colin had entered through moments ago, stopping and turning back to you at the last second. "You look beautiful by the way, you're practically glowing." With a knowing wink, Ted slipped through the doors, finding the way to his seat to wait for the ceremony to begin.
"Well, I think we're really ready now." You mused, linking your arm though Beard's. When you turned to flash a smile at him, you saw eyes filled with fondness, tears threatening to cloud his vision if he thought about the scene before him for too long. "Aren't we Willis?"
"Lets go, sweetheart." The pet name struck you to your core, your hand squeezing his bicep in reassurance. There was no one else you'd want to walk you down the aisle. "You're getting married!"
The ceremony ran perfectly. Willis walked you down the aisle and handed you off to Roy after whispering what you were certain was a threat in his ear. Tears brimmed Roy's waterline the whole ceremony, but they didn't spill over under you were pronounced husband and wife. No one commented on the tears that ran down Roy's cheeks, and you didn't think anyone was ever going to bring it up; a mutual understanding settling over the room that the Roy Kent that stood at the alter wasn't Roy Kent football sensation, but that he was Roy Kent, loving husband.
All those years ago Jamie had been completely and utterly right, all Roy needed was someone to show him it was okay to be soft. Thankfully, he had found that in you.
~*~
"Nell, go back to sleep baby, daddy's here."
Roy had his back turned to you as he rocked Penelope in his arms, murmuring some song that you couldn't quite make out under his breath to help her get back to sleep. In the 4 weeks since Penelope - or 'Nell' as Roy had lovingly started calling her - had been born, Roy had more then proved himself to be the amazing dad you knew he would be. Though he'd voiced his worries about not being a good dad several times throughout your pregnancy, each time you'd soothed away the worry; scratching your fingers against his scalp and reminding him of everything he'd ever done for Phoebe.
Phoebe had been the most excited to meet the baby, begging her mum to let her come over every single day after school so that she could spend time with her newborn cousin (even though that time was mostly spent with Phoebe in your lap with Nell in hers).
The Boys at Nelson Road came in for a close second when it came to being excited to meet the baby. Will, Colin and Isaac had made it their duty to show up to you and Roy's house every day after training when you were 7 months along in order to paint the babies nursery and build all the furniture that you'd bought.
They were even worse when you went into labour.
Roy had called Beard to let him know the two of you wouldn't be able to make it to work that Tuesday, and Beard loaded up the coach for a group trip to Richmond's hospital. You had the whole of AFC Richmond crowded in the waiting room, arms filled with stuffed animals, balloons and flowers. Jamie had charmed up the nurse who you were charged to, convincing him to let all of the players into your room at once. While most of the team fawned over the baby, gave you their best wishes then made their way back to the coach, Colin, Isaac, and Will asked to hold her, tears filling their eyes as they took in the sight of the tiny baby.
"She's beautiful." Colin whispered, lightly running the tip of his finger up and down her button nose. "With your parents, you're going to be the coolest kid ever. And Uncle Colin is going to make sure of it."
"You know," Will whispered, stiff as a board as he held Penelope on his arms, scared to even breath less it hurt the baby. "I remember that day I saw you with Phoebe in Tesco, and I told you I didn't realise you were a mum." Roy shot you a confused glance, reminding you you'd never actually filled him in on your trip to the supermarket that day with Phoebe. "And now you are one. It almost doesn't feel real."
"I've never held a baby before." Isaac admitted, the most relaxed holding her despite his inexperience. "It's weird, innit. Like, this baby I'm holding right now started out nothing and now she's real and alive and in my arms…Spooky."
Jamie, however, you practically had to force to hold Nell; and even then he was scared shitless. When you managed to convince him to take a seat on your hospital bed, he seemed less tense about holding her, but the ever present crease in his brow told you otherwise. "She looks just like you."
"She's got Roy's nose, and I bet she'll have his eyebrows too."
Jamie's eyes never left the baby, even as the other boys slipped out of the room with one last goodbye and a promise to come and visit Nell again when you got sent home.
"Ask us what her full name is." Roy kicked Jamie's foot, finally snapping his attention away from the newborn.
"You what?”
Apparently, he hadn't been listening, the tender tone to Roy's voice leaving as soon as it had arrived. "I said ask us what her full name is, fuckhead."
Jamie didn't ask you, he wasn't sure he could get the words out without choking up, the suggestion of the question springing tears to his eyes.
"Her full name is Penelope Jamie Kent." You hadn't seen Jamie so upset since Roy dragged him into your office, sobs wracking his body, two years ago before the journey up north to play against Manchester City at the Etihad.
He pulled Nell closer to his chest, hugging her as best as you could hold a baby, then passed her to Beard, pulling Roy in for the tightest hug you'd ever seen the two share. When Jamie came to hug you, he pressed a kiss to your cheek, whispering in your ear; "You've made Grandad go all soft." And after a brief pause. "The rest of us too."
Beard didn't stay long after Jamie left, knowing the coach was only waiting on him to return to training. He muttered something under his breath, pressed a kiss to Nell's head and then handed her back to you, pressing a kiss to yours. "Jamie’s right. Spitting image of you. Though I do agree she has Roy's nose."
"I hope she gets his smile." You quietly confessed, not missing the way Roy's lips curled up into the wonderful  smile you loved so much. "We got something for you." Roy pulled out a gift bag from next to your 'we need to go to the hospital the baby is coming' bag and handed it to his fellow coach. Beard waisted no time opening the gift, a soft smile curling on his lips as he pulled out the mug, 'worlds best grandad' printed on the front and a Richmond crest printed on the back. "I love you...dad."
A tear silently ran down Beard' cheek but he didn't wipe it away, pulling you and the baby in for a group hug. After a tight squeeze, he opened up his arms, a silent invite for Roy to join. He did so without question, thanking Willis for everything.
Beard had used the mug at Nelson Road everyday since.
Nell had made a total of 3 visits so far to Nelson Road; every Thursday afternoon being the day you'd come to the dog track with her and disrupt afternoon training so that the boys could fawn over her as an end of the week treat. Tomorrow would be her 4th visit, and yet, Roy had been the one to wake up and tend to her when he'd have to be up in a few hours to coach Jamie and you could essentially sleep in until 12 and still be on time.
As he put Nell back inside her cot, you wrapped your arms around his waist and slid them up and under the front of his t-shirt. "You're such a good dad, Roy."
"Only cause you make me a good dad." He turned around in your hold, your hands now up the back of his shirt, his arms now over your shoulders/
"That doesn't even make sense." You countered, resting your chin against his chest so that you could look at him. Roy took the opportunity to press a slow and tender kiss to your lips.
"Fuck off, it totally does."
"Doesn't."
"Does."
"Doesn't."
"Does."
At a whine from Nell, the two of you fell silent, not wanting to wake her after Roy had just put her back to sleep.
"She know it makes sense." The two of your were looking down at Nell's tony from where she slept soundly in the crib.
"She's only agreeing cause it's you." You lowered your chin so that the side of your head rested against Roy's chest, giving you a better look at your beautiful baby girl. "She's a total daddy's girl already, you know."
"Gets that from her mother." Roy paused after he spoke, realising quickly that his words hadn't made much sense or come out in the way he intended. "I meant, she's a total me, girl. Like she loves me a lot because you love me a lot. Fuck."
"I knew what you meant, handsome."
Roy quirked his eyebrow at your response. "You did huh?" He swept you off your feet, literally, carrying you back to your bedroom with a slip in his step.
You hand slapped against his bicep, a gasp slipping from your lips as your pieced together Roy's words paired with his suggestive tone and that glint in his eye. "The doctor said no sex for 6 weeks, Roy."
"No penetrative sex for six weeks." Roy clarified, laying you down on the mused bedsheets and kissing his way down your form; starting with scrapes of teeth against the sensitive skin of your neck, all the way down to the thick skin of your thighs. "The guy said nothing about oral."
an : thanks for reading this far *mwah* I love you <33 I hope you enjoyed this!!! Please feel free to send in a request for Roy or Jamie I'd love to write it!!!
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lowkeyremi · 4 months
Note
Hey! Since your requests are open I'd thought I'd slip in here...
Pro Hero Bakugou x actress reader where reader got nominated for the Oscars, and got the Oscar for the Best Lead Actress?? I can imagine he'd be so proud and would be in tear when she thanks him with her entire soul during her acceptance speech.
And the Red Carpet- I swear that man would be so happy seeing her look so pretty. Imagine they wore matching outfits too I can't-
Not to mention all the pictures being posted of them on social media... everyone would have proof of him in 4k looking at reader with heart eyes 💀
Absolutely no obligation to write this, I just thought this was really cute loll
WAIT I MIGHT PROPERLY WRITE THIS ONE DAY IF YOU'D LIKE ME TOO.
he would literally brag to everyone be like "that's my girl." "they couldn't have chosen a better actress for that part. they wouldn't do it as well as she does"
and while they're getting those pics of him being smitten I mean ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH YOU one of the photographers are like, "miss? do you know dynamite? he looks like he's dying to get a picture with you."
and you know their reasons they want something that could be written about, something all over the news. little do they know they were in for a show.
you say yes and he literally ducks under the red rope barrier that keeps everyone off of the red carpet and he walks up to you sliding a hand around your waist and kissing you on the cheek.
you two hear shuttering like crazy and a giggle escapes your throat. and someone yells, "look! they're matching!! do you think they're together?"
oh how the two of you enjoy reading up on people's theories about you guys, "dynamite is always posting [name] on his social media, they must be more than just friends." one person claims on twitter.
"katsuki my manager was really pissed that you kissed me at the red carpet." you weren't mad, honestly you found it cute.
"i don't care that guy can suck my dick for what it's worth. I wanna freely be with my girl." he rolls his eyes.
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dragonrider9905 · 9 days
Text
Before TBB Ends...Regardless of HOW it Ends...I've Got to Say Something...
In 2021, TBB was released, and over the last few years, it's grown to mean a lot to me. Not just the stories, the storytelling, the characters whom we've fallen in love with and hope to see more of someday, whose stories we've learned important lessons from, but how it profoundly affected my life.
And it is something I am incredibly grateful for.
Regardless of how the show ends, if it's something I'm going to love or be totally heartbroken over and hate, I'm so glad it happened and went on this journey.
For one, it gave me the plug to start writing. Writing was always a dream of mine but it wasn't until I discovered fanfiction, because of TBB, that I actually realized it. I had this idea of writing and thought I'd never really be able to accomplish that. The show enabled me to move past that and I've been able to be enflamed by my love for writing. It brings me so much happiness. No other show pushed me to write like this one.
Secondly, my writing has allowed me to touch and interact with people. I can't tell you how much it means to me and how thrilled I am to hear and learn my work has touched you in some way. I'm humbled by your words and taking the time to actually read and appreciate what I've written.
Thirdly, I've gone on so many adventures, crazy amazing adventures because of what other brilliant minds I met through the show have written. There are SO many great stories that just hit me so.....I was touched by your stories that you wouldn't have written if you hadn't watched the show!
Lastly, but CERTAINLY not the least, I have made SO many friends and writing buddies because of this show. It has connected me to so many cool people that I otherwise may never have found. I've grown really close with some of you, while others, though we may not be friends per say, I hope we can someday. In the meantime, I will admire your work from here. You guys mean so much to me and I can't even begin to express how wonderful it's been getting to know you over the past few years. The fun experiences we've shared, the theories, the stories, all of it. I am not putting this as well as it was in my head so please forgive that.
This includes but isn't limited to: @eclec-tech @photogirl894 @apocalyp-tech-a @lizartgurl @jedipoodoo @arctrooper69 @carolinetano7567 @trapezequeen @ghostofskywalker @masterjedilenaaa @ladysongmaster @moonstrider9904 @klmwrites @techs-stitches @ovaa-bi-bia @frostycatblr-fandom-files @imabeautifulbutterfly @sverdgeir @oceansssblue @marvel-starwarsfangirl @jedi-hawkins
How about you? What are you guys grateful for? Reblog and share what TBB meant to you!
Copy and paste the red as your header and let's see how many people we can get so share their stories!
I will end with no other quote than this!
"With love comes loss; it's part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, it's all worth it. There's no greater gift than love."
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radiant-reid · 1 year
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any fic recommendations ?? love ur blog ❤️
after the events of yesterday, i'd love the chance to spread some CM love. i tried to do fics rather than masterlists but most of these writers have their masterlist linked or in their bio. i'm missing a hundred people so send me a message if there's fics you want me to add PLEASE READ EACH WRITER'S WARNINGS/RULES. *denotes smut fics
spencer reid
Milburn Seven Months by @aperrywilliams
Here + Velvet by @wtfevenismypage
all signs point to yes the break-up box two’s a crowd, three’s a party *by @wheelsup
what happens in California* by @spencersawkward
Stumbling Home…Alone ….to end up with you (all well that ends well happy ending version) Secret Life by @reidsbookclub
Babies and New Beginnings In The Middle Of The Night * by @samuel-de-champagne-problems
Mirror* by @sinfulspencer
THE BOY’S A SLAG* GODPARENTS* + GODPARENTS II by @eideticmemory
Oh Baby! by @fortheloveofwonderland
Not Your Backup by @imagining-in-the-margins
Clean + Clean, PT. 2 by @ofwilliamandwalter
spencer reid sfw alphabet by @candlesandsoftrain
Is a Home still a Home? * Only her * by @little-diable
A Real Father's Love Drunk on You Room 405 by @smurphyse
I Would Never Fall + Unless It’s You I Fall Into by @reidscanehand
“i want to love someone and be loved” / part 2 how to ask a girl out by @spacedikut
eros & thanatos by @reidamancy
Through the Smoke by @homoose
Goodbye Forever, Until Next Time by @mercy-burning
night shift by @behindyourbarrette
loving you was red collection by @writer-in-theory
36 Questions to Fall in Love by @boldlyvoid
flick, flick, burn this vast empty space, picture perfect by @literaila
aaron 'hotch' hotchner
Fluffy Feb event masterlist by @hotchs-bitch masterlist by @doctorstethoscope masterlist by @honeybrowne
Yes, Mr President * Wonderstruck by @doctorstethoscope
In the Suburbs * by @hoe4hotchner
Ivy * enemies to lovers blurb by @greg-montgomery
On the Road Again * The Stranger Next Door * Wish You Were Here + Back to You Meet The Hotchners by @ssahotchswife
Come Back Home by @hotched
As Long as You Want Me by @spacecowboyhotch
"Agent" by @kryptonitejelly
Wasteland, Baby by @heliotropehotch
Big Dick Energy * by @maybege
Good For Him Reckless (21.7k words, go read rn) by @ptersparkers
Never Do That Again * by @fatecantstopme
delicate by @bbq-chipz
hard-headed painfully professional another man's jeans * by @honeypiehotchner
When one door closes, try to take the girl home by @azenpal
like real people do + i'll crawl home to you (you'll cry your eyes out, be warned) by @ssahotchhner
New Mom by @marvelslut16
My Love I Can't Hide + I Wanna Hold Your Hand by @reidscanehead
Rossi's Neighbour by @capturedminds
The 30th * Truth or Dare * by @little-diable
Surprise Visit * by @wheelsupkels
I Love You More* by @ssamorganhotchner
Perfect for Me Marry Me? Baby Drunk by @hotch-stufff
Aaron, I’m Pregnant by @ssahotchsbitch
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forbidden-sunlight · 4 months
Text
yandere!carcel escalante with ines!reader scenario
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Warning: OOC, obsessive behavior, implied violence, language, mention of death, possible spoilers for latest chapters on the manhwa.
There may be possible triggers in this story.
If you do not feel comfortable venturing any further, please hit the 'back' button on your device or computer and read something much more pleasant than a possible series of unfortunate events.
You are responsible for your own Internet consumption!
Hey guys, hope you have all been well! I'd like to thank @ceeesxy-blog for providing honest feedback on the earlier drafts on this story!
For those who are wondering, I am still revising/editing the other headcanons I had written for Carcel Escalante. When they are ready, they will be posted.
With that being said, sit back, relax, and let's dive into world of romance and second chances. Or maybe four :)
The Spirit was glaring heatedly at your back again. She seemed to be doing that a lot more lately than critiquing your posture or whispering the names of the nobility in your ear to make sure you did not mispronounce it when they approached you at teeth-grinding social functions. It made you wonder what you did to upset her for the nth time behind the polite smile you gave to the blonde-haired child sitting across from you. 
For the record, it had not been your intention to possess the body of Ines Valeztena de Perez  in the first place. You simply woke up and found her soul occupying the same space. Two souls in one meatsack, to put it so crudely; impossible in theory, yet here is the miracle. Note the sarcasm. 
Where this is her fourth reincarnation, it was your first, and you had retained the knowledge of this reality where it was the backdrop of a novel based on her life. The title? The Broken Ring, This Marriage Will Fail Anyway. Not only did include the details of her life in this timeline, but also her marriages to both the future Emperor and the painter Emiliano. One was a nightmare where she took her own life, and the second was to get away from her responsibilities and be happy for once. Her brother killed Emiliano and the child she had with him, dragging her back to the duchy she had tried to escape from. 
In this life, she has already secured an engagement with Carcel Escalante on the basis that he is the best-looking young man. Her father approved because he loved his only daughter. That worked in her favor because she did not want to get involved with the imperial family again, and already had a plan in the works. This plan involved treating Carcel coldly for seventeen years and he would have numerous affairs, before and after their marriage. Once she gives birth to a child, she will divorce him and attain true freedom. But now, Ines has become a lingering Spirit which only you could see. You are occupying the Body. You are the main driver behind it. And by God, her plan is utter bullshit. 
Make a child who has yet to understand communication and very much innocent in the way of how an adult’s mind works hate you by being a cold-hearted bitch? Absolutely not! That is not how you treat someone, even if you do remember that Carcel Escalante was a playboy in a previous lifetime. This is the present, do not put so much emphasis on the past. 
You have told the Spirit many times when the room was empty and you were visiting her in your mindscape; the backdrop of a library and seated in a plush chair with a table that held two steaming cups of coffee that you couldn’t taste. You did not know if she or you had created it, but this was where she had closed herself off most of the time and where you would see her as soon as you drifted off to sleep. Whether she actually listened to you during these therapy sessions or just put up with your company because you were in her body is another question entirely. 
“Ines?”
Jolting slightly, you looked up from the rim of  your teacup and nodded at the flustered Carcel Escalante. “Yes?” Cerulean orbs twinkled beneath the chandelier’s light as he stared at you, cradling his own cup and looking…frustrated? You furrowed your brow in concern, carefully placing it back down on the saucer that sat on the table. “Is everything all right, Carcel?”
“Why?” He answered your question with a question. You played along, asking him what he meant. 
“Do you really want to marry me because of my good looks?”
Oh, dear. Suppose this was a conversation bond to be brought up. You thought warily. Not even a minute has passed and already you could feel the Spirit’s menacing glare directed at the back of your head. Ines, for God’s sake, trust me. Let me handle this. You hissed in your mind. 
“You cannot ruin this chance.”
Ines, I am fully aware that this is crucial to your plan, thank you. Your very piss-poor plan, I might add. You promised you would give me one chance to prove there is another way to attain happiness. I will deliver. So let me speak or so help me, I will stuff your consciousness in the back of my brain and lock you in there until the day is over. You threatened. That wasn’t a threat either. It was a promise because you had done it before, unintentionally, when the world was spinning and her nagging was not helping. You couldn’t allow her access to the Body for nearly two days. 
She went silent, and the heat on the back of your head subsided slightly, but you could see her from the corner of your eye. Folding your hands neatly in your lap and straightening the curve of your spine, you spoke to Carcel with your eyes directly locked onto his own. 
“Yes. You are very handsome by the Empire’s standards, Carcel. But that isn’t the only reason.”
“It…isn’t?”
“Correct.”
“Then, why?”
“To avoid being married into the imperial family. Your cousin, the crown prince, Oscar is…a twit. Emotionally immature, rude, I could go on. You recall how he arrived at my home without any notice nor any requests to visit, and I told him that I did not like him, yes? You were there, dragged by him because he can do that.” 
Carcel’s face paled. “You could get punished for speaking like that about him. He is the future of our Empire.”
“And what a bleak future that will be.” You sniffed. 
“Ines!”
“The Empress wouldn’t risk angering one of the founding families of this country. Without our support, they would not be standing where they are right now, the pinnacle of high society and power, so I am not afraid to criticize how her son has no regard for the consequences of his actions because he believes his status gives him an excuse to do anything he wants to do.” You squeezed your hands together. “I also believe you are much more agreeable and level-headed than him. Your good looks are a bonus…but I would like to get to know you more. Your likes, your dislikes, anything, really, that you are comfortable with sharing. Believe it or not, Carcel Escalante, I do want us to get along. Not just for appearance's sake.”
You watched his eyes widen in disbelief, his face pinken with embarrassment before he stuttered. “R-Really?”
“Yes.”
“A-And you won’t…be mean? Or ignore me?”
You shook your head. “I will not.” You said. “If I am cruel in your eyes, I would rather you say it to my face then keep silent. I will not understand how you feel if you do not say anything. Though…if the imperial family is watching us, I might have to act out of character. Not just to protect myself and my family from their interference, but yours. Do you understand?”
“I-I suppose.” Carcel swallowed. “But…will you inform me…if you have to act like that?”
“I shall.” 
You answered Carcel’s questions as honestly as you could to a six-year-old child, even when you were roughly the same age as him. He seemed to believe you, as his stiffened posture loosened, and his smile was a little less forced. Eventually it was time for him to leave the estate and return to the Escalante duchy. You walked him to the door alongside the servants, and bade him farewell. When his carriage faded in the distance, growing smaller and smaller, the Spirit wasted no time in materializing, scolding you for making such promises right until it was time for bed. 
But this was a positive change, you emphasized, not a negative one. Would she rather hate the two of you for saying that you liked him and then say you don’t care if he has an affair because your feelings change? That made absolutely no sense. Yes, feelings change with time, this is true, but it is still cruel in your perspective and you will not subject Carcel to such treatment. 
When you received an invitation to attend the Empress’ annual tea party, a letter from the Escalante duchy was delivered to your desk the very next day. Carcel asked if he would have the honor to be your escort. You replied that you would be delighted; you were looking forward to seeing him there, and do not mind if you were acting coldly towards him if the Empress or the crowned prince were within feet of either of you. 
You kept your word to him. Now, and for the following seventeen years. 
If neither of your schedules were not booked with various lessons and social functions, Carcel would make an effort to visit you or invite you to spend an afternoon doing something together. He would offer flowers, and you thanked him. You idly chatted over lunch at a cafe after a shopping trip, all expenses paid by Carcel at his insistence, even when your monthly allowance was more than enough to purchase jewelry, dresses, or anything that piqued your interest during the outing. 
When he was invited to a friendly hunting trip at the Valeztena estate, Carcel had been stunned into silence as you handled the recoil of the hunting rifle in your hands without so much as a sound. 
The Spirit had drilled the basics of gun safety and aiming into your brain until she was confident that no one would think the wiser in the unlikely event that the two of you had to exchange control over the Body. Moreover, it put her at ease knowing she could protect herself from the crown prince. She will not allow Oscar to get the upper hand in this lifetime. Never again. 
You agreed wholeheartedly with her reasoning. Now if she actually lifted some damned weights between target practice and sipping tea with her peers, that would be great. You did not want the time and effort you have put into toning your arms from swinging a practice sword in the knight’s training arena to go to waste. 
Securing a competent tutor who would willingly teach a woman the fundamentals of swordsmanship, even if it’s a fucking rapier and not a broadsword like you initially wanted to learn how to use, had been difficult. If the Spirit was going to use a weapon to protect herself, then so are you. 
End of discussion. 
Carcel eventually became of age and was forced to enlist in the naval academy as his forefathers had done. It was the first step towards becoming the duke of the Escalante estate. Although you were a little sad to see him go, you promised to write him letters. If you were allowed to visit him at the base or a port that wasn’t too far from the Empire’s shores, you swore that you would try, weather permitting of course. 
However…if you or the Spirit had known the weight of these promises…would you have known just how madly in love Carcel Escalante de Esposa was with you? Would he? 
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Carcel hated his time at the naval academy. As invigorating and stressful it was to learn everything about a ship’s vessel to the areas where the enemies of the Empire have attacked in recent years and even swordsmanship or rifle training, there were days when he wanted to throw everything away and just run off from Meldoza. 
Never looking back,  becoming a free man who could do as he pleased without the obligations. 
The soldiers in his fleet understood his frustration and have offered more than once to take him to the ports and have a bit of fun with some lovely ladies, on their tap. Yet for all his ranting and grumbling, it took a single letter from his dear Ines to keep the young duke grounded. 
She informed him of the events occurring in the Empire’s polite society, highlighting gossip and any exploits pertaining to his cousin, aggravated that she still cannot swing her sword at the right angle just yet even after her tutor went over the lesson several times, amongst other topics of discussion including what she has been doing since he’s been at sea. She reminded him to stay strong, keep his wits sharp, and never forget that she is here, waiting for him to return. Before he ventured out to sea for his duties, he would always keep a letter folded against his breast pocket. A reminder of why he is here. 
Contrary to the rumors circulating around him, he did not elect to remain in the military for an additional five years because he was avoiding getting married at the tender age of eighteen. He wanted to prove to his future father-in-law that he is worthy to be the husband of his only daughter. 
Just because he may be lacking in some areas, that does not mean he should be switched out for someone higher up or of equal ranking in the hierarchy. Or with a gentleman whom Duke Valeztena would much prefer to have as a son-in-law than him. That will never happen so long as he, Carcel Escalante de Esposa, lives. 
He is a man who will get jealous if anyone would dare to approach his future wife with the intention of bedding her once he, her husband, had gotten tired of her. An absolutely foolish notion, because Carcel will remain faithful to Ines. 
It would take a lot of self-control to not gut those fools right on the spot, because Ines would hate getting blood on the floor. Furthermore, he would never have a mistress before or after he exchanged his vows. Women might line up outside his door because adultery is encouraged in the Ortega Empire. Flowers and love letters might decorate every square inch of his office. Temptation will lurk around every corner, and he will burn them in his fireplace. The ladies? Well, he’d tell them to politely sod off and never darken his doorstep again. 
If there were gifts from Ines, however, he would keep him. 
Ines is his sun. The light of his life. No one else would even compare to the woman who is waiting for him to return from these treacherous waters. Until it was his time to leave this world, he would show Ines just how much he loved her. He would buy her anything she wanted, make her life as comfortable as possible even if she told him a thousand times that she does not need anything. 
Just never leave his side. Never fall in love with another man who wasn’t him, because he cannot conceive a universe without you. 
Taglist
@lxdymoon0357
@nunezs-stuff
@yandere-swallowtailcherry
@yandere-dark-cupid
@that-one-pretty-bitch
@technikerin23
@abelheilonwife
@black-swan-blog27
@mooly-artistic
@sleep-all-day-everyday
@dxmoness
@yanderefangirl
@faux-ecrivain
@cassanderasblog
@kanroji-san
@xiaopleasecomehome
@faesdreaming
@young-adult-summer
@ladykitsunesworld
@justcressida
@solandis-does-stuff
@nunezs-stuff
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galesdevoteewife · 4 months
Text
Gale may not be so typical squishy wizard/scholar?
-My Galeology study note-
Looking at his character sheet in the Deluxe pack gets me thinking, maybe our wizard is not exactly designed to be the typical squishy one...?
[Act2 spoiler warning]
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2 things caught my eyes:
1) Great physical fitness, and good reflexes. (For your reference, Gale & Wyll are the two companions who have the highest Con: 15. I put everyone's sheets at the bottom of the post.)
His Con and Dex are... very high?? I mean, higher than Karlach and Lae'zel...????
Note 1: I suspect it could have something to do with his background as Mystra's chosen, as they are somewhat "transformed" when they agree to become the goddess's chosen. A topic for another day since I haven't quite figured it out yet, for anyone who is interested there's a chapter about it in The Seven Sisters. Also, I have little clues on how much chosen lore credit Larian was taking into account while designing him, or how Mystra's "taking back the given ability" works. Note 2: Again, Mystra's chosen are often sent on missions that involve a lot of traveling according to Elminster's series. Mystra also mentioned that Gale and she used to have adventures together, which leads to an assumption: despite his preference he might be traveling quite a lot until he was cast aside and quarantined himself in his tower. Might be the type of scholar who is very keen on field studies?
Note 3: Can someone undress Elminster to exam my theory please??xD Neh won't work I think all human might share same body model in game
Come to think of it, there was a party banter between Karlach & Gale that went like :
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Karlach: Whoa! Almost slipped there. Gale: You wouldn't be the first, I'd wager. It's been some time since these walkways felt the carpenter's hammer. Karlach: You gonna catch me if I eat a brick? Gale: With my reflexes? I'd catch you before you so much as stubbed a toe.
At first I thought that was a sarcastic joke but, seems like it wasn't? Also this:
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Karlach: Ready to enter the belly of the beast? Gale: It's the stairs I'm dreading. I shall close my eyes, and pretend I'm climbing my own, far superior tower in Waterdeep. Karlach: In that case, welcome home.
...So it seems when I pictured him as a homebody, I should reimagine the concept of home... His has...lots of stairs? Just walking around in the tower could be counted as a workout, sort of thing? Note: I don't think the place he shows in the Act 2 cutscene is his tower. Otherwise, aren't these neighbors pretty much doomed?
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2) Not THAT smart. Well, I love him, so I will speak in his defence: [1] He has a warm(s) digging holes in his brain. [2] Poisonous magical bile running in his blood. Maybe he's just not at his best, makes sense, eh? Wyll mentioned he is nerfed after tadpole too. After all, this man obviously memorized a DICTIONARY:
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Gale: You promised to stay in Waterdeep. 'Promise,' verb, meaning to swear something will or will not be done. Tara the Tressym: And I decided 'will not'. And a good thing, too. You look like you haven't had a good meal in days
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Player: When I said we could be more than friends, you answered 'perhaps'. What does that really mean? Gale: If I recall correctly, the Waterdhavian Dictionary of the Common Tongue of Faerûn defines it as an adverb that conveys the meaning of 'it may be that', or 'possibly'. Gale: Sorry, sometimes I just can't help being quite insufferable. In seriousness, I'm glad you asked that question.
Along with a bunch of you-may-never-need information:
Everything about ceremorphosis? Myconid? Why in the world have him read about Cazador??? And how can he not know the distance between Waterdeep & Baldur's Gate, even Karlach ―who spent a decade, which is likely half of her life in hell― knows better geography than him. Gale either totally ignored the subject or portaled everywhere; distance meant nothing to him?? Uh, but you can't take party banters too seriously; it's buggy. How could a bug bit Karlach in the swamp? It should've been burned into ashes before it even reached her, no?
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Anyway, just rambling some thoughts <3 I would have gone to Harvard if there was a major in Gale...
-DISCLAIMER- Brought to you by a brainrot wife, Galerian missionary. Be warned the article might has (strong) bias because the writer is braindead and she thinks Gale is the most awesome character in the world.
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ao3commentoftheday · 5 months
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What would you usually advise for an aspiring writer who just... Doesn't have a wide range of English vocabulary? :( I've never written anything yet but for many times in my life, I've been surrounded by literature and fanfiction that I feel at home with the topic. I have stories in mind for my fandoms that I wish that I can write. But the problem is-- English is not my first language. I worry that my dialogues or storylines may not sound appropriate if I ever write and it reaches audience outside my country. I also worry that my world knowledge and or social awareness may be so small that I may not make things... relatable. Do I need to read a lot before being able to start to write? Because I read somewhere that good writers are also wide readers.
I definitely agree that reading more (and reading broading across genres, cultures, and time periods) is a valuable way for a writer to spend their time. By reading, you become familiar with the components of writing and how to put them together. You get a feel for styles that really resonate with you and you also learn what kinds of writing you just don't really like much at all.
That said, I don't think you need to do all of your reading before you start writing. Watching a lot of youtube videos about swimming isn't going to do much for you until you actually get into a pool. Knowing the theory is only half of the battle. Being able to practice is important too.
Remember, you don't have to do it all in 1 story. You can start by writing things that are within your knowledge and when you're comfortable doing that, you can see if you enjoy researching too. If you do, then great! You've got more potential topics to write about. If you don't, that's great too! You get to dig in deeper on the themes and touchstones that you already know.
There's nothing shameful about getting really good at writing the same few things. No one ever asked Agatha Christie to stop writing about murder because she really should branch out.
Having simpler vocabulary is also nothing to be ashamed of - although based on your ask, I think you don't have anything to be worried about. For this, and for the other worries you've expressed, I recommend asking a friend (either in person or in fandom) to read over your work with you. A beta can be there to help with grammar and spelling, but they can also assist in developing ideas or identifying opportunities you have in your story. They can be a cheer reader or a sensitivity reader too.
When it comes to being relatable, just remember we're all human. We all live. We'll all die. We all feel happy and sad and angry and bored and hungry. A lot of us fall in love. A lot of us have caring families. Some of us are heartbroken for almost all of our lives. The city that we do it in or the workplace or the type of school doesn't matter. It's the experience part that's universal.
I'd love to hear from other authors who write in second (or third, etc) languages about your thoughts on this one. And for everyone else, please feel free to share your thoughts as well.
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lover-of-mine · 8 months
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I'm here to argue my case about how Eddie fell first and has in fact been semi-aware of his feelings since season 3 and it's currently dealing with the way he thinks he'll have to be the best man on Buck's wedding. So sit down, buckle up, grab your delusional drink of choice (today I'm drinking my delusional tea lol), and let's go.
Okay, given season 6 information, we know Buck and Eddie are roughly the same age and we know Eddie was pursued by Bobby and Bobby wanted a partner for Buck (unrelated but Bobby so hoped the military guy would balance out Buck and for a while there he ended up with two very impulsive firefighters and he definitely had a few what the hell have I done moments lol) so it's kinda safe to assume that Buck was one of the selling points of the 118 because Buck is a very competent firefighter and they would be on the same shift. So Eddie went in with the expectation of someone his age he could befriend. I'm making some assumptions but the internet tells me the academy takes a year, we know Eddie still doesn't have a permanent childcare plan, so this man is interacting outside of the academy exclusively with his 7 yo, his abuela, and tia for a year, so I think that the idea of having a friend his own age was appealing to him. Especially after the army and Shannon leaving him. So much so that with his sharp edges, you can actually read things like "I'd go lower" or "you're in the wrong light, man" as attempts to create a bond, very awkward I haven't tried to make friends in forever attempts but attempts nonetheless because he's trying to be helpful. Buck is being Buck, but even Eddie says I hear you're a good guy, so dude is trying to understand what's happening, what's setting Buck off, and while he matches Buck's energy after the gym conversation, he actually continues to try and bond with Buck with the thing that actually works and the "you're badass under pressure" that is still another attempt to get through to Buck. I have various theories about the way Eddie keeps trying to start something, the one I like the most and the most painful one is about how Eddie has had the weight of the world on his shoulders forever. And he had to grow up really fast, and then there is Buck annoying him about nicknames and discussing his body fat percentage, and with all that really carefree energy season 1 and beginning of season 2 Buck had that he probably wanted to know what it felt like. But Buck is Buck and Buck also wanted a friend so dude imprinted on Eddie like a baby duck. But Eddie doesn't mind, like before Bobby comes in to say who got the spot on the calendar, Eddie looks amused by Buck not annoyed. But up until now, that's casual. They're coworkers.
Then we have the earthquake. We know Christopher is Eddie's whole world and he's very careful about the people he lets into their life, considering the earthquake happened on Maddie's first day on the floor and she must've had some sort of training before that, it's safe to assume that Eddie didn't mention Chris at the firehouse for at least a few weeks and he is very hesitant to tell Buck about him, but again Buck is Buck and he switches into reassurance mode and that's when Eddie actually lets him in. I actually would love it if we had an explanation as to why Buck drove Eddie to Chris' school after the shift, but it's something that he went from being hesitant to even mention he existed to introducing Buck to him. But then we have the moment Buck becomes his ride-or-die, you imprinted on me but now I'm hanging on to you, with the whole going to the hospital with him because of abuela and also the way that Buck clears Chris staying at the firehouse before Eddie thinks to do it.
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This moment right here it's what gets Eddie. He's ready to apologize and justify and he doesn't have to because Buck stepped up to do something simply because he realized Eddie needed help and he could do something about it. Eddie is doing everything alone and he needs help but he doesn't know how or who to ask for it and Buck just steps in and does it before he needs to ask. And then there's Carla. Buck tricks him into showing up and literally hands him the solution to his problems because Buck knows Eddie wouldn't accept it if Buck had said what that was about beforehand, but at no point does Buck make it seem like Eddie is a bad parent for needing help. And I think with the whole thing with his parents trying to take Chris from him, that really does something.
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I really like to use the second gif here as a major example of Eddie's heart eyes for Buck, but the first one, when he realizes who Carla is and what she can give him completely changes his demeanor. He was ready to be polite, was probably trying to figure out a way out without saying he was still married, but instead, Buck does something that not only makes Eddie's life easier but makes Christopher's exponentially better. And right then, Eddie is done for. I'm not saying he fell in love with Buck here, I'm just saying right here is when Eddie goes you're stuck with me now dude, and let his guard down with Buck, as much as this Eddie can at least. That's when something starts for him. You can't change my mind on this one. But for now, there's the Shannon of it all, because Eddie does love Shannon but their relationship is beyond complicated. 
But Buck is still constant through Shannon and I think that's important, actually, because Eddie is having trouble trusting Shannon and I feel like having Buck around helps him not go straight to the worst-case scenario all the time. I don't have a point in mentioning this, it's just a clear show of how much Eddie already trusts Buck, but to have Buck go with him to take Chris to see Santa is so wild. Who takes their best friend to see Santa with their kid? Like, what?? But Isn't it interesting that Eddie decides to propose again after Buck asks when is the wedding? I find that fascinating really. Then Shannon dies, Buck almost dies, dude goes into move past it mode but the seed is there. Forever thinking about the wistful shot of Eddie saying almost after Hen says things are back to the way they should be. Something else about the finale it's that it's the first in the list of irrationality moments from Eddie regarding Buck. Eddie is a firefighter, he's objectively stronger than Chimney, so the logical thing to be done is to have Eddie helping lift the truck and Chim treating Buck. But no, at that moment he's a medic who's there to hold Buck's hand. He's just holding Buck's hand. He could've left Buck with Hen and go help lift the truck. But no, he's staying by Buck's side.
But season 3 is when things HAPPEN. We start out strong with the sheer excitement on Eddie's face that Buck is going back to work. Then the way Eddie just hands Christopher over to Buck without a single worry. "Oh, you're falling apart? Here's a kid, he will help" and just goes. We focus a lot on Buck's reaction to them finding Chris because it is what the show wants us to focus, this is the moment Buck looks at Chris and goes "shit I really love that kid" but Eddie looking back at Buck as he holds Chris is interesting. Eddie just went through 30 seconds (actually it's 1 minute 4 seconds from the moment Eddie notices Buck to Eddie having Chris in his arms not that it matters) of the worst possible moments in a parent's life and I guess, since Buck didn't have Chris, and Buck was too shaken to explain what had happened, he assumed Buck lost Chris during the first wave and he's looking back because he's shocked he saved not only himself but Chris from the wave, but from his focus to shift to Buck like that it's interesting. Even more, considering the way he barges into the loft to hand Chris over again. "There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you" I'm sorry, there's no platonic explanation for the wording of this, okay? This is a man who looked at his honest to god wife, the mother of his child, and said "I can forgive you, I'm just not sure I can trust you" and trust is always the thing Eddie struggles with. To trust someone with Christopher is Eddie's ultimate show of love because it's what makes sense with his character, he is loyal until it kills him but nothing goes above Christopher. Also, Mr. Kids are signs hands over his own child to someone and I'm not supposed to look at that and go "huh wonder what he's feeling"? And there's the lawsuit of it all. Eddie gets that mad because he misses Buck and has no idea what to do with it. Because he got used to being a priority to Buck and he cannot handle the idea that maybe he's not. He's struggling, Chris is struggling and he needs Buck to do the thing he does where he fixes the problem without Eddie having to ask. But Buck has no real responsibility to Eddie or Chris, you can't really expect your best friend to base his life decisions on what's best for you. But it is the expectation Eddie has. He needs Buck to consider him. He needs Buck to be there for him no matter what. And at this point, when he's screaming at Buck as if they are a divorced couple, he's aware of something. He's definitely aware of something he doesn't want to look too closely at. 
Because being left by Buck leaves him completely off balance. And since Eddie is famous for not dealing with the shit he's feeling, things keep escalating because anger it's easier. Anger he can deal with. But in the end, he just wants Buck back so he forgives him the second he lets Buck speak. Because he wants the Buck that looks right through him, he wants what they have back. And he doesn't hesitate once he does. There are definitely some lingering feelings about how he kept pushing Shannon away and then she died and he "lost" time he could've had if he had let her in after he sought her out, so when Buck apologizes he just goes let's go team and moves on because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. 
But I think there's something important to take into consideration, that it's Eddie's therapy session. He talks about not feeling anything, good or bad, and the his feelings are boxed thing and how he doesn't know what to do with them and yes, that comes back into play later, but it is important that Eddie doesn't name his feelings and he consistently tries to box them and move past them instead of feeling them, and it gets to a point where he's doing this even to positive things. So he is not looking too closely as to why missing Buck throws him off balance. He's all let's go back to the way things were and they do. Forever seeking for a heterosexual explanation to the kitchen scene in 3x09 but I also do think there are different types of tension between them there. Because while Buck is teasingly trying to get Eddie to admit on what had happened and how Buck's absence was a trigger for Eddie's fight club era in his flirty way of his, Eddie is trying to make him stop talking in a real "man don't make me look at what happened too closely" because he doesn't know what he'll find. Or if he's ready to find it. Considering the whole widower who never processed a big emotion in a healthy way he has going on there. But Buck is a really steady presence in Eddie's life, and Buck does his best to not put them in the lawsuit situation again, he's around, he's helping Eddie with parenting issues and then we have the well.
The well is a pivotal moment. Not just because of the sheer amount of Buck in Eddie's I need to keep fighting montage and the way Buck is acting above the ground, but because of the way Eddie changes his will after that and chooses to hide the fact that he did. Eddie has parents who are more than willing to raise Christopher, he has sisters, he has a lot of blood relatives that he could assign as Chris' guardians if something happens, but he chooses Buck. He chooses a firefighter, who is not only a firefighter, it's also his partner so if Eddie ends up in a life-threatening situation, Buck will probably be there too, so it's not the biggest safeguard. Buck is also single and without kids of his own. He also has known Buck for what? 2 years at that point? Eddie's lawyer probably stared at Eddie in disbelief when Eddie explained the situation. But the real thing about the will is that Eddie doesn't talk about it. Dude had some revelations while under all that mud because the only reason he wouldn't tell Buck is if he couldn't tell Buck without talking about himself. That's the only explanation for why he would hide it. Because Buck would ask why him, why now, like he did when Eddie did finally tell him, but right then Eddie can't shift the focus back to Buck. But there's a very subtle change in the way Eddie acts around Buck after the well. And again, sure, you can play off Eddie's reaction to when Buck wants to do something dangerous as he needs Buck to stay alive, but you can't really apply that logic to the way Eddie acts about Abby. Like, Eddie is petty to girls who want Buck, that's a fact. And Eddie is petty about Abby, but he also gets unsure about his place in Buck's life when he sees Buck's reaction to seeing Abby. And they focus on Eddie there. We get Eddie's reaction to that interaction. That means something.
We get Eddie legit feeling insecure about his place in Buck's life over the fact that Abby is there. And Eddie knows Abby as this entity, the one that got away, the person responsible for Buck being the way he is, because that's the way Abby is talked about, and sure, if I was in Eddie's shoes, only seeing the damage someone did to my best friend and then have them risking their life because of whatever lingering feelings are still there, I would also reserve myself the right to hate them, but it's more than that. Like, the way he backs away from the both of them once Buck goes into protector mode.
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"Abby, His fiancée's Abby." *stomps away*. Absolutely insane interactions happen there that paint Buck as still hung up on Abby, even more after the whole thing with Red, but if you look at it with the right lenses, it paints Eddie as jealous of the way Buck is willing to put himself in danger to keep someone who broke him happy.
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Every reaction from Eddie in the train wreck feels so calculated to give this idea that he's unsure of his place in Buck's life. His face when he realizes who he's talking to, his hand hovering over Buck's shoulder like he wants to comfort him but doesn't know if he can, the way he looks at Buck after Abby and Sam are in the ambulance. He's completely off balance at the sight of the ghost of Buck's great lost love and I'm supposed to believe that man is just experiencing platonic friendship feelings about his best friend? Come on. 
Season 4 is complicated. Because of the Ana and Taylor of it all. They do have the easy banter, Eddie being someone Buck can rely on during the whole mess with his parents, a few scenes of Buck completely comfortable in Eddie's space and Eddie just moving around him like he's meant to be there, but we know the Ana of it all happens because of external pressure. Eddie thinks he needs to date, so he grabs onto the first woman he can. The way his whole body relaxes when he realizes Christopher is with Buck is actually insane. But even though he's dating, he's holding on to Buck in a way. Absolutely obsessed with how much he hates Taylor. Dude legit looks like he's fantasizing about running her over with the fire engine while watching Buck and Taylor interact making Buck ignore him. 
But then Eddie gets shot. Say whatever the fuck you want Eddie reached for Buck. He thought he was dying. And he reached for Buck.
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Eddie's been aware of something he doesn't want to look at too closely since the lawsuit that became harder to ignore after the well that he became fully aware of when he got shot. I know that what we have now says Eddie doesn't remember the shooting but wouldn't it be beautiful if he lied because he can't say what he remembers because everything he remembers is about Buck? The dramatic effect of I'm lying to you because I realized I loved you then but I can't tell you that now? Ugh. Anyway, Eddie got shot, things fell into place when he hit the ground, terrible place to have an oh! moment though. Dude just got shot, he's bleeding out, and the thing he gathers the rest of his energy is to ask if Buck is hurt. Sure, you can look at that as I think I'm dying so one of us has to make it home to Chris, but the possibility of it being an I love you I need to know you're okay before this kills me it's there. But he doesn't die. And when he wakes up Buck tells him it would've been better if he had been shot. You can see it on Eddie's face that he kept rehearsing what he was going to say about the will. Something else is the way that Ali takes Buck home after the truck so it would honestly make sense if Ana took Eddie home but he probably asked Buck to do it. That scene feels like an aborted love confession. "You act like you're expendable but you're wrong" the way he's saying you're not spare parts, you're not less important, you matter so much to me. Eddie knows Buck, he knows Buck associates love with pain. He wouldn't actually say something after he almost died, but it feels like he's working up to something. Sure he needs to break up with Ana, but there's time before he heals and can just, do something about it. But then Taylor fucking Kelly is in his welcome home party. He knew Buck and Taylor were working up to something. He knows Taylor being there means it happened. A violent reminder that Buck is straight (debatable) and doesn't feel the same (also debatable). So back to safety, he goes. 
I need to know who decided that having this particular look when they are literally talking about how Eddie is about to meet Ana's whole family was the way to go.
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Also, can you believe Eddie needed Buck's approval to break up with the girlfriend he didn't even want to date anyway?
Season 5 is complicated because of Eddie's PTSD, 5A has a lot of Eddie pulling away because of the way he knew when the dam broke it wouldn't be pretty and he didn't want to take down anyone with him. But even when we see Eddie out of the job, we see him making an effort to include Buck and Taylor so Buck would know that he really did mean the whole "you're stuck with us" thing. I can talk about 5x11 to 5x14 and the implications of it to buddie for days, really, (you can read this for some of those thoughts), but the thing here I guess, it's a lot about how when the box exploded, the feelings are all over the place, Eddie sits back and lets Buck in. He talks about the way he's feeling in a way we don't really see Eddie do all that often and he leans on Buck through his recovery and the process of finding out how to not feel like there's no hope for himself and how to feel comfortable in his own skin again. And it's a lot about Buck and the way Buck is constant. Eddie feels like Buck is this steady presence in his life that can and does help Eddie move forward.
But the thing is, the shooting happened, Eddie realized things, Taylor Kelly (derogatory) happened, Taylor Kelly (derogatory) took herself out of the running, Eddie now has the tools to deal with his own emotions, he's single, Buck's single, they're having dinner with Chris at Buck's loft and Eddie is asking Buck about things Chris kept from him, but Eddie is in a fantasy bubble where he can pretend he has the things he wants without actually asking for anything to change. I mean, post therapy Eddie is better with his feelings, but he's still Eddie. He was in his little I have time bubble. That was violently popped. Because Buck died. And he had to save him. "Do more" is such a desperate thing for a first responder and former combat medic to scream at a team of doctors. He knows they always do the best they can. He did the best he could, but there's only so far he can go. The way he follows the gurney hurts me in so many ways. Some real don't go where I can't follow bullshit.
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This is a man who watched Buck almost die multiple times. But this is also a man who never contemplated the possibility of Buck actually dying. The thing that drives me crazy about Eddie and everything surrounding Buck's death is that he can't look at it. He can't take his eyes off him, but once he's out of his sight he can't look at him again. He spends the whole time not looking at Buck. He looks away every time someone mentions it. Even when he's in the room with Chris he's not looking. 3 minutes 17 seconds. Look, this number bothers me. Bobby said they were 3 minutes out from the hospital and that it took 3 minutes to start compressions. So Buck was dead for 6 minutes. The rescue took 3 minutes. And Eddie counted. That's the only explanation for this particular number. He counted how long it took to get Buck to Chim and Hen and in the ambulance ready to go.
But Eddie was living comfortably in his bubble, I don't think he was at peace with it, but I do think he accepted it. But Buck wakes up, Buck seeks him out to help deal with the trauma. They look like a family, they act like a family, maybe it's not hopeless after all. Maybe Buck can feel the same and they can talk about it once Buck is not feeling so raw over his own death. Buck is just there all the time, something like that can't be one-sided, can it? But then Buck pulls the rug from under him. I made a very long post about the cemetery, you can read that one if you want, but the thing about that conversation is that it is a reminder that they are not on the same page. Because Buck throws him off balance again, considering the way Eddie was trying his hardest to be there for Buck just for Buck to say he's getting what he wants from a random woman he met a few days before. And it makes Eddie back away so he won't end up hurting his own feelings more. I think at this point Eddie has accepted the fact that he's going to have to be Buck's best man and is trying to find a way to be okay with it. So he's retreating to familiarity again. It explains why he's trying to recreate what he had with Shannon because he loved Shannon, so maybe if he found that again he wouldn't have to cut Buck off to move on. Because he needs Buck on some level but there is a limit on how much he can take while Buck goes around looking for something he already has.
And yes I talked and talked and talked but why does this mean Eddie fell first? Well, Buck will never figure it out on his own. The thing about Buck is that Buck doesn’t know what healthy love is. He thinks love is work, but in a it’s bleeding himself dry for someone way. He thinks love is pain. Eddie is safety. Eddie is home. He never knew home as a place where he can find love.
This is all for today. If you read this I love you. Also the doc I typed it out says it has over 4.3k words so this is long as fuck congratulations for sticking through it 🩷
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