#i'll be regular about these characters one day [lie]

[pkmnpearlversion]

RED SUN | GOLD MOON

[zgvlt]

sending your crush a survey form hcs part 3 second years x reader (separate) -> jade, floyd

general tags: gn reader, fluff + attempt at humor, sfw, not beta read, mix of text and images (for images, alt text/image description available)

other parts in this series

character: JADE LEECH premise/trope: sending Jade the crush form... except he already knew you were planning to send him one weeks ago

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

You poor, poor unfortunate soul... Jade is always two (or even three, on occasion) steps ahead of you. It can't be helped, his perception skill is maxed out at this point, so attempting to hide things from him is quite the difficult endeavor.

The thing is, he's known for a few weeks now that you were planning to send him the form.

Yes, he could have let you know about it, or at least dropped a few hints if he was feeling a little merciful, but he chose to keep his mouth shut because, well, it seemed more fun that way.

You watched a few videos about it around him that one day, and a few days later you were typing up questions on your notes app. It was easy to put two and two together at that point.

"Hm? If there was something you were curious about, you could have just asked me," Jade laughs, "but I'll answer this form to the best of my abilities."

Just as he had his fun hiding his knowledge from you, Jade lets you have your fun too since he thinks it's cute—rather, he thinks you're being cute.

He pretends to be surprised when you send him the link, and he keeps up the act for a long, long time.

Jade mostly answers the questions in a teasing, joking manner, but you can tell that his answers aren't lies either. There's some genuineness hidden in there somewhere, though he leaves it up to you to detect it.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

He finally lets it slip that he's known all along that you were going to send him a form, that it was just a matter of "when" for him.

He lives to hear and see your reactions, they truly never fail to bring him joy.

It doesn't really matter whether you're completely flustered and aghast at the revelation, whether you admit you had a feeling he eventually figured it out, or whether you're getting embarrassed and mad at him for keeping it a secret.

It's endearing to him no matter what, so it was worth it to not spill the beans too early.

"So now that I've completed the form, aren't you going to do anything with the information I've provided?" Jade inquires. If you listen to him carefully, you'll be able to hear the anticipation in his voice. Is he poking fun at you? Partially, but he does want to see where this goes all the same. "Or would you like me to be the one to approach you this time?

character: FLOYD LEECH premise/trope: sending Jade the form so you could ask him for advice regarding your crush, Floyd. the form unfortunately falls into the hands of said crush

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

The thing is... You didn't plan on sending it to Floyd. At least, certainly not that form. It was meant for his brother, not him!

Jade said he'd give you the advice you needed and to just ask away, but finding the time (and having the privacy) to do so was difficult on both of your parts, so a form realistically seemed like a good idea at first.

After all, it's not like Floyd's going to have any interest in what looks like a regular survey for school of all things. Jade could just lie, too, if pressed about it, and Floyd would lose his interest eventually.

That was not what happened.

In Jade's defense, he really did mean to answer it, but he was smiling a little too much at the questions you chose to ask and Floyd got curious and asked about what was so interesting for him to smile like that.

Jade admits (well, he thinks about it for a second, not necessarily with reluctance but rather how to phrase it) that you sent him something funny.

Floyd is not happy, oops. That's the person he likes! What is Jade doing talking to you? What are you doing sending something funny to Jade without sending it to him, too?!

FLOYD: HEY!! What's this about? Why are you sending Jade things that you're not sending me? What gives??? FLOYD: hey FLOYD: 💢 FLOYD: 👿 FLOYD: 🤬 FLOYD: Answer my calls FLOYD: I'm going to get the reason behind this outta you

Floyd's complaining to you, spamming you through text and sending you missed calls, as if to catch you attention one way or another.

Floyd also gets Jade to send him the form. It's partially to satiate Floyd a little bit, for both Jade's sake and yours, but also because he thinks it would be fun to watch Floyd react to it in real time. He thinks it's especially fun when you eventually pick up one of his calls.

At first, he doesn't think there's a point in typing down his answers, he can just tell you everything he needs to? What's the point of answering something so lousy? But the more he thinks about it, especially with how you're repeatedly telling him that he really does not need to answer or even open it at all, the more he wants to answer.

Really, he just likes you that much that he's willing to answer something kind of weird!

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

If it's not obvious to you yet, Floyd definitely likes you back.

Actually, he tells you a few times in the call you're on with him, so much so that you may have to tell him that you get the point with how much he tells you (in various, unique ways)

He's also talking as if the two of you are already together (neither have you have actually asked, but the both of you have confessed already so...)

He's also excitedly talking about all the dates you can go on (and how he's very happy to go hangout with and go on fun and cute dates with you instead of boring stuff like... attending classes, or doing schoolwork, or chores)

It's difficult to not be affected as well. Floyd's joy is very infectious, after all!

Actually, he's so happy that he wants to celebrate your new relationship with you right this instant!

"Where are you right now, shrimpy?" Floyd asks. Even without straining your ears, you'll be able to hear the slamming of the door and the sound of his footsteps. "I'm in the mood to go on a date right now!"

masterlist | end notes

[ 1 ] Figuring out Floyd's typing style is so hard. I partially used his Valentines card for reference, very straight to the point and not particularly flowery, but added some emojis here and there and some playfulness to make it more fun. I wondered if he should have more spelling errors or type in lowercase, but I think he has auto caps on by default lol

[ 2 ] While it's not explicitly stated, there is the implication that Floyd's reader might be the prefect due to the shrimp nickname. Honestly just went with it since it's a good catch-all term for the reader, so feel free to imagine otherwise!

[ 3 ] Similarly, if you prefer a different nickname for your reader/prefect/sona/OC, I hope you're not too bothered! I know not everyone finds it cute. I'm not really fond of placeholder markings (e.g., y/n, e/c, etc.) so I used shimpy!

[lutawolf]

My Dear Gangster Oppa Commentary Ep 4

If you haven't seen my other commentary, you can find it here.

This makes me sad because what was special for Tew was the fact that Guy wasn't afraid of him. But here he is, afraid. Which clearly is upsetting to Tew.

As soon as Guy opens his eyes, they are drawn to the gun wound scar. The face that Tew gives him then...

And Guy's concern, then confusion. So much emotion in one frame.

Now they are sitting and communicating. Tew tells Guy that he didn't tell him that he was scared that it would put Guy in danger. Which confuses me because not knowing, knowing, is there really a difference in danger level?

Tew starts to explain his past and his joy of playing video game. Then his home life. While not rich, he had a loving father. Who clearly raised him right because he is so well-mannered. Oh no! Cough with blood.  

Damn... I was really hoping he would kick their asses, and get home to his dad.

I mean, we knew it was coming, but the fact that he didn't get to say goodbye. Oh damn, that really explains the previous episode where he came to meet Guy to say goodbye before his trip.

Ohhhh, Tew looks scary now.

OH! Who called it?!?!

And then he is shot!!! What!?!? I was not expecting that. Nor was I expecting the next part. I was kind of expecting him to have been forced into killing. Interesting. I wonder if Wish John Lennon was one of these kids???

So while bad boy is a rebel with a cause, he still a rebel. Then he just lays down to die.

I think it's safe to say that home dude was not thinking that day.

I think Guy gets it, but it will be interesting to see if he accepts it. He at least isn't scared of Tew anymore. Butt he more Tew explains, the more clearly you can see he is an anti-hero. Won't go so far as to call him a villain butttttt. He is no hero. Yay!!! This is my favorite type of character!

I am not sure what to think of the mob boss. He is putting a lot of trust into a kid, but he also appears to be giving him the keys to revenge. He is an interesting character to say the least.

The rules seem simple enough. No lying and no betrayal.

"Once you touch a gun. There is no going back to a normal life"

Then, Tew gives a little smirk and says that he doesn't plan on going back to a normal life anyway.

And Guy is seeing this. I think it's interesting because for some reason Tew really expected that Guy would absolutely understand. He is pretty spot on because Guy does understand.

Really Guy... You are going to be butt hurt over the restaurant lie??? I mean, I actually get where Guy is coming from. I'm just thinking it's funny to pick that after hearing Tew's story.

It apparently was not what Tew was expecting Guy to be upset about either. His face says he is completely dumbfounded. Honestly, in my opinion, Guy is latching onto something to use so he can run scared. I don't think he is scared of Tew, but of his own feelings that are happening too fast. I could be completely off base, but that's what I see from how he is acting and reacting.

Boy up in his feels getting sloppy drunk. Other boy is being emo in his bed. What a pair.

Oh, no! Boss man is not okay with the fake restaurant.

Home dude is not right in the head, is he?

I'll say it again. Mob boss daddy is interesting. He cares about Tew, but he isn't a push over.

I'm suspicious... How is a regular dude off the street not scared when goons show up???

Again, not a push over.

Now back to emo boy with his bed and his fish. Damn it Guy! That was a shit move to do to your guild!!! And his first thoughts when there is a knock at the door is Tew. That should tell you something, Guy! You're running from your feelings. Coward!

Nope. It's jackass Wahl, who I just know has something to do with stirring up shit. I know. He seems sweet, but how can he not tell that his bestie is upset??? Wahl is just too selfish for me to like him. I tried to like him, I really did, but I don't like selfish besties.

Discount Lennon out here trying to drown people.

See, I told you that Wahl was where this bullshit all started. He is being so condescending. Saying he is the most important person to him but then ditching him all the time. I really hope, at some point, Tew beats him up.

Did he drown him???

We're back to the guessing game of: Dead or Passed Out??? (If you said that in a game host voice, give yourself ten points.)

Oh! Not dead! Ohhhhh, another pissing contest in the wild!

I refuse to believe that Tew is that stupid... I hate Wahl because I feel like he is going to get a call from his gf and just leave Guy like he always does.

Ahhh... Nice. Tew planned ahead. Never mind, I take it back. Tew is stupid. Don't lie to the boss, especially not for Wish Lennon.

I don't like the fall troupe when it's Guy and Wahl.... Just saying.

Please, please, let Tew beat him up.

Yes, I agree. You need to put an end to your feelings. Oh, wow! Wahl didn't ditch Guy, but Guy ditched Wahl!!!

Sadly, though, Guy isn't answering Tew's phone calls either.

I really think that Tew should take this opportunity given to him and beat up Wahl.

The wrong person got punched! That did not go the way that I wanted.

Guy ran home. I can respect that. Except the fact that he is acting like a two-year-old. Awww, bless him. Well, at least now he is realizing that he is running away from everything.

Finally!!!

What does it say that Tew didn't stop till he found you Guy? LOVE, the communication going on. I love that Tew is calling out Guy, telling him that he feels this way and ran because he cares about him.

He called him little boy! And then gave him a real hug!!!

Ahhh, Tew confessing. Hot damn! They are making up for that shitty ending last episode!

OH SHIT.... He is going to quit the gangster life... I'm scared.

Never mind, we'll just shelve that concern for another day. Carry On. 💜💜💜

[artist-issues]

can i ask what you like about harry potter since it's your first time reading it? i was obsessed with those books as a kid, and i always like to hear what first time readers think of the series. do you have a favorite character? a favorite book so far? i'd love to hear your thoughts!

I only just finished the Prisoner of Azkaban and it was my favorite so far! I really like it so far. Dumbledore was my favorite character because I like how he knows what Harry and his friends are up to, and he orchestrates events so that they are able to set things right. Then it was Neville Longbottom, after the poor kid stood up to Harry and Ron and Hermione when they were breaking the rules.

But then I encountered a very kind Dark Arts teacher, after the previous two horrible Dark Arts teachers, and like the first thing he did was be kind to Neville Longbottom. And everyone who's kind to Neville Longbottom makes me instantly happy. And then the more I learned about him and compared how HE was behaving to other Professors who catch Harry in the act of doing something dangerous, the more I decided Professor Lupin is my favorite character. I also like the brotherly relationships that make characters have in the series. You don't see that too often anymore. Nowadays, close male characters are either gay or not that close.

We'll see if he remains my favorite!

The thing I don't like about the books is how, other than Dumbledore, there seems to be a pattern of adults being wrong, and unable to do the things that the kids do to save the day. And the kids keep having to break rules and endanger themselves and lie, and then the narrative rewards all of that. There's quite a lot of "we can't trust the adults, we know better than them" in the actions of the characters.

But that's why I like Neville, who wins the house cup for Gryffindor after the first book's events just by doing the right thing and obeying the rules with the information he had, even when it was hard and his only friends were telling him to shut up and leave them alone. And that's why I like Dumbledore, who so far kind of stands in as a "higher power" who knows everything and orchestrates events so that the kids work everything out (though he obviously still has a lot of humanizing moments too.)

So far I think the characters with the most depth are the ones she's not writing about that much. Like Lupin and Black and Pettigrew and James Potter. But I've heard the series "grows up with its readers," so maybe Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, all those main characters will have more depth as I keep reading.

I think the way she sets up her climaxes are really good. Like how a tiny detail, like a regular colorful description of how ragged Scavbers the rat looks includes the fact that he's missing a toe, just in passing, fits so perfectly in with the big reveal that Peter Pettigrew is also missing a finger later on. But in the moment, her foreshadowing doesn't look like foreshadowing; it just looks like color added to the story.

My least favorite thing, also, is that I'll keep expecting one of the main trio to have an emotional or character-revealing response to something, and then sometimes they just...don't. Like Hermione doesn't really react one way or another to the prejudice against mudbloods in Chamber of Secrets. Even if her character is one that doesn't mind what bullies say, or she's so logical that she doesn't give a silly thing like prejudice a second thought...the perspective of Harry could've noticed that. He could've made an observation about it, so that we would know that's definitely the kind of girl she is. Or, she could've freaked out about it, or gradually shown embarrassment or self consciousness about it. But she doesn't really do anything noticeable in response to this major plot point. So it feels more like there's no intentional depth to her character.

Which I know is probably not true, because she's out work into characters like Dumbledore and Snape, so I know Rowling can write characters with depth. I don't know.

Anyway, those are my thoughts! I've seen no movies and interacted with the "fandom" zip, zero, not at all.

[pochipop]

＃ MYSTIC MESSENGER !! ♡ — REACTING TO YOU GETTING HURT WHILE COOKING.

#. synopsis! — kitchenware can be dangerous .

#. characters! — jumin , saeran (ray) , yoosung .

#. warnings! — nongraphic depictions of small injuries .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

𖦹. ━ JUMIN !!

It's not that big of a deal, but the way Jumin quickly jumps to action could have fooled you into thinking you were in mortal danger if you didn't know better. The second he heard you hiss under your breath, knife falling onto the cutting board with a little clanking sound, he was at your side.

"Are you alright?" He questions, a worried edge permeating every syllable.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you assure him quickly, "—it's just a cut. I was being careless."

"It's bleeding," he notes, pulling you away from the counter and over to the sink.

He turns the faucet, pauses as he waits for the water to turn lukewarm, and examines your slit finger in the process. It's just as you'd said: a small cut resulting from a moment's carelessness. But, this is one of the ways Jumin shows love. Little things can turn into monumental things when they impact you, and he wants nothing more than to be your knight in shining armor. Even if you don't need one, he likes to think that maybe one day, he'll have the opportunity to save you the way you saved him. So, when it comes to tiny things like this, you don't complain when Jumin takes a strong initiative.

He tests the water himself first, making sure it's not hot enough to scald you before gently pulling your hand forward. The few droplets of blood rush off your finger as the water cascades over, cleaning the wound out.

"It's really not a big deal," you say softly, knowing that he's worried and has worked himself up, —even over something as miniscule as this.

And he knows you're right. Your cut is barely worse than the papercuts he gets on a semi-regular basis whilst handling paperwork at the office, and he's known to deal with those by working one handed while he sucks the cut until the blood stops. But when it comes to you, he fears even the smallest of things could harm you in unimaginable ways, and Jumin's biggest fear is letting you get hurt and being unable to do anything about it. You're the strongest person he knows, but he'd go to the ends of the Earth just to keep you from ever dealing with pain again. 

"We have a first aid kit in the bathroom," he mumbles as he turns the water off, acknowledging your comment with a pleading glance, —one that silently begs for your cooperation.

You comply.

He offers you his hand to squeeze when he applies some disinfectant spray. You apply a little pressure when he does, but it's more for Jumin than it is for you, and you suspect that he knows as much but chooses to say nothing of it.

The bandage he applies has little cat paw prints on it, and you stifle a giggle as he wraps it carefully around your finger. It's just so cute that you can't help yourself. 

"Is that comfortable enough?" He inquires, dark eyes meeting yours, breaking his intense concentration.

You bend your finger a bit and offer him a delicate smile.

"It's fine," you assure him, "—thank you."

Jumin sighs a little, relief lapping at the shores of his heart.

"Go sit for a while and I'll finish dinner. Then we can eat together," he requests.

As long as you get something to eat, you don't really care who cooks it, so you nod your head. Jumin smiles gently and brushes his lips past yours, soft and sweet.

𖦹. ━ SAERAN !!

When Saeran hears you curse, he looks your way; expression as blank as usual, but eyes swimming with worry.

"Hey," he says from behind you in order to get your attention, "what happened?"

"Nothing," you lie, pushing the grater away from you, "everything's fine."

He stands, knowing you well enough to understand that you were lying to avoid the embarrassment of admitting you'd gone and hurt yourself.

"Everything's not fine," he says, bluntly so, reaching around you to take your wrist into his grip.

For someone who can be so incredibly intimidating, Saeran is almost startlingly gentle. At least, he is when it comes to you. His lithe fingers wrap around your wrist, the warmth of his palm pressed flat to your skin. You could almost forget the pain of the small nick on your finger with his touch soothing you down like this.

"Let me see," he demands, —not aggressively, but as if asking for permission.

You comply, and he eyes the little cut along the tip of your finger.

"You cut yourself with the grater?" He asks, to which your eyes avert away from his face.

"It was an accident," you say, perhaps a bit defensively.

Saeran sighs.

"How many times have I told you to be careful when you use that thing?" He asks, but doesn't expect a genuine answer.

He doesn't get one.

"You need to pay better attention," Saeran continues, pulling your finger close to his lips. "I don't like it when you go and get yourself hurt."

With nothing more to say, he opens his mouth and presses the tip of your finger to his tongue. Your eyes widen, but you don't make any attempt to pull away from him. His tongue slides gently over the tiny wound, lapping at the blood. It's a rather crude method of solving the issue, but you can't bring yourself to mind. If it were anyone else, you'd likely think it was gross and pull your hand away at the speed of light, —but it's not anyone else. It's Saeran, and if anything, this is oddly attractive to you.

"There," he mumbles, tongue raking along his bottom lip swiftly, "better?"

It wasn't much of an issue in the first place, but you nod in reply, a little embarrassed by his antics.

"Yeah. Thanks," you answer in a voice just above a whisper.

He doesn't mind the taste of your blood, but even he knows it would be weird to say something like that, so he keeps the thought to himself.

"Go sit down and try not to get yourself cut again," he says, "I'll finish dinner."

His words might be a little harsh, but the soft touch that lingers on your wrist for a few moments longer is anything but. 

𖦹. ━ YOOSUNG !!

Yoosung's heart seizes in his chest when he hears you yelp from the kitchen in his small apartment. He doesn't even bother to pause his game before rushing your way. His chest caves a bit when he sees you holding your hand, eyes and nose scrunched up in pain.

"Y/n! What happened?" He asks, reaching out to clutch comfortingly at your shoulder, albeit a bit awkwardly.

"It's okay," you insist, still reeling a bit from the shock, "I burnt my hand a little, that's all."

In truth, it surprised you more than it actually hurt you. Still, you can't deny that the side of your hand is stinging, and though you haven't looked, you have a feeling that your skin might well be a bit discolored now.

Yoosung scrambles.

"Here, —put your hand under some cool water for a minute or two," he says, turning the faucet knobs for you.

He's sure to test the temperature of the water for you before allowing you to place your hand under the light stream. You flinch a little at the initial contact, still sensitive in the freshly burned area. Yoosung turns the burner of the stovetop off, hunger all but forgotten in the wake of your admittedly minor injury. Right now, he couldn't care less about his own needs. Even if everything is fine, —he can't help but be worried.

"How bad does it hurt?" He inquires.

"Not bad," you reply, hoping to reassure him. "It only stings a little now, and it should go away soon. Nothing to worry about."

Too late. When it comes to you, the smallest things can work Yoosung up. He can't help himself. If there's anyone in this life he hates to see in pain, no matter the severity of it, it's you.

"We should have some antibiotic cream somewhere," he notes, "just wait here for a minute, I'll be right back."

He fulfills that promise, returning quickly with a small, white tube of ointment and a fluffy bath towel.

"Let me know if anything hurts," he says, taking your hand softly into his grip.

Yoosung gently dabs the lingering water droplets away from the burnt area with the towel before taking a generous amount of the antibiotic cream onto one of his long, lithe fingers. He spreads it evenly with feather-like touches, keeping the agitation to a bare minimum. You can't help but smile at how incredibly gentle he is.

"Okay," he smiles over at you softly, "that should do it. Does it feel any better?"

"My hand feels fine," you answer, leaning over to press a kiss to the apple of his cheek. "Thank you."

He blushes, eyes lighting up in the wake of your lips.

"I'll make dinner," Yoosung tells you, "—I hope you don't mind ramen. . ."

[noodles-n-soba]

If you'd fall down in the deep darkness for eternity..

Scenario: You're an adeptus, around the same age as Xiao but just a little older. Based on the new archon Chasm quest (with Xiao, Yelan, Yanfei, Itto, Kuki, etc)

Warnings: Spoilers for the archon quest!!

Characters: Xiao, Adeptus!Reader

A/n: Hii! So the reader's actual Adeptus name is "Ficus", I just made that up with my Latin skills cuz it seemed somewhat nicer :) Please enjoy!

With knees against your chest, you looked at the crowd below you, all those people in such a small world. You couldn't believe that life seemed to circulate that easily without your help, well, without the help of the Adepti to be more specific.. It was your goal to still look put for the people, just in case.. But you weren't sure if that independent folk would appreciate you just randomly lending them a hand. '(Y/n). What are you doing.' You threw a glance over your shoulder, seeing Xiao standing behind you.

'Observing.' You replied as short as possible because that was literally the only thing you were currently doing.. Nothing more or less. 'Mind watching them a bit more in a couple days. I'll be gone to the Chasm.' This time you completely turned your upper body around, an element of surprise on your face. 'And why would that be, Xiao?' You asked him, he sighed and decided he'd sit next to you. Knowing that you'd possibly never turn on him, he figured that he could tell you his true motives.

'I've asked Rex Lapis for permission to go and find traces of the last Yaksha. There's been a rumor that they just disappeared back in the wartime, so it's not completely weird to think they're still alive.' He answered, you squinted and shook your head softly. 'And he agreed on this?' You sternly questioned, looking back to the lands of contracts harbor. 'He.. Did..' You looked up to the sun slowly heading to the horizon, the clouds forming weird shapes and birds flying over your heads. 'The moment the Chasm opened you've been absent for quite a bit. Have you already been there, Alatus?' You looked him dead in the eye, he didn't have the heart to lie to you.. And he somehow just couldn't whenever you stared holes into his damaged soul. 'I've walked past, nothing more. Never would I do something Rex Lapis wouldn't allow.' He said, more like an oath than your regular set of rules. 'I believe you, you shan't need to fret..' You replied with a kind smile, you still had those in your pocket. Your smiles, and Xiao.. He was just looking at your face with nothing more but a serious look on his face. 'So tell me, Ficus, aren't you going to hold me back?' He carefully tried, you shrugged your shoulders and grabbed your weapon firmly.

'There is no use in trying, for you are so hard-headed. I can try, and most of the time I win, but this is about one of your brothers or sisters.. You cannot be stopped.' You simply admitted, toying around with your dearest companion.. A (weapon of choice). Xiao growled and kept his silence, whatever he tried.. You wouldn't budge. His choices would have consequences, and you wouldn't be there to save him from those.. The one that would probably come in action was Rex Lapis himself... Thinking about it, he wouldn't let Xiao do something so dangerous if he didn't have a plan. 'The least I can tell you is to return safely. I.. We, need you.' You finally brought out and stood up, stretching out your body and fixing your clothes. 'You, you said?' He recited, you immediately furrowed your eyebrows and smiled irritated. '.. Don't start it, I'll throw you off this cliff immediately. Then you won't even take a damn step into the Chasm.' You brought out between gritted teeth, he shook his head slowly. 'You just told me you needed me. You're getting more and more confused these days, maybe it's time for you to retire.' You turned around to face him, crossing your arms and glared at him. 'I'm as old as you, don't bring up my age now would you?' You gave his forehead a soft flick, he closed his eyes firmly and backed off. 'Now, you better return back from that Chasm wouldya. And bring some good news with you..' You crouched down, moving his hair aside, kissing the spot that you had flicked before and walked away.

'Watch me, General Ficus...' You chuckled softly. 'I'll look forward to your message, General Alatus.'

'I-!' Being absolutely startled by the news you just heard half an hour ago, you headed towards the place where you guessed he would be. 'Hey! Xiao!' Almost tripping over a rock, you rushed towards him.. Wrapping your arms around the guy and gave him a tight hug before letting go and bonking his head. 'You.. Indecisive idiot! How could you even try to sacrifice yourself! If it wasn't for Morax.. You would've been dead meat!' There wasn't much time to lecture the guy, you were assigned to take care of him..

You found him at the temple of Pervases, which wasn't that surprising at all. Thinking about all he did, he was just standing there and watching the sunset. When he realized you were standing right behind him, he sighed and threw you a short glance. 'Ah, Rex Lapis.. So it was him. Not some unknown Adepti.. I should thank him, actually.' Xiao replied airily, you squinted and balled up your fists. 'Hey..?! Did you hear.. Ugh, never mind. What the hell did you think when you were sacrificing yourself. I know your head circulates all around doing heroic stuff, but it doesn't seem heroic to me that the people you know will be sad when they won't see you again!? Do you know how much those guys would blame themselves for your death!?' You pouted and crossed your arms, looking down at the floor.

'I heard you, but saving others is more important than saving my own life.' He answered, throwing you a glance over his shoulder. You blinked a few times, about to reply till he continued his sentence. 'But.. Indeed, it will somehow hurt me when I think about the fact that you, and everyone who sees me as a friend, family or something else, will suffer.' Being a little confused about his statement, you slowly but surely placed a hand on his shoulder while you thought. '... What did the traveler say to you..?' You asked with unbelievement, a bit unsettled by his sudden change of thoughts and motives. 'It was that bull, but.. Paimon and the Traveler told me a lot too.' He carefully wrapped a hand around your waist, pulling you close. 'Also, (y/n), I'm grateful to have you by my side. So, thank you for that.'

You couldn't help but be completely thrown off balance, this change of character was really not him.. This wasn't the regular Xiao that you were used to, but this change was something positive actually. You smiled, leaning your head against him and hugged him tightly. 'Now, you're being a little too.. Much. Tch.' He snarled quietly, looking off to the side to hide his starting blush. You chuckled, hugging him really tight for a second and letting go of him. He sighed deeply.

'Have you ever tried Almond Tofu, (Y/n)?'

[writing-blocked-me]

Daffodil

Daffodil - Unrequited love

Number 3 of my flowers drabble/one-shot series

Requests still open for the flowers series! So feel free to shoot me an ask!I

Masterlist - Flowers Masterlist

Pairing: Fyodor x reader

CW: Manipulation, unrequited love, toxic relationship, sadness, angst, Fyodor and his prophet complex, dependency, toxic dependency, I'm not sure what else to write here, Fyodor being OOC, bad writing lmao

A/N: Hiii, back after another few weeks with a thrid addition to my flowers series (requests still open). Uni has been rough these past few weeks, plus writer's block hit me hard, so sorry for the inconsistent uploads. I am trying to get a writing schedule together, so hopefully I'll have , more regular posting soon and I'm gonna try to put out at least on post (even if it's just a drabble) once every week if I can. This time I tried a Fyodor x reader, but I'm still trying to get the feel of his character, so I'm not sure it's quite there yet...

enjoy :)

You had always loved him, ever since the day that he came into your life.  It was as if you had been in love with him your whole life, as if he had always been there, an ever-present being, a constant voice in your mind.  Fyodor Dostoyevsky was like a parasite, eating away at all your thoughts until he was the only thing left in your mind.  Not that you minded; you'd happily only think of him.

He had swept you off your feet, initially.  He'd charmed you with sweet gifts and what he called ‘proper courting’.  It made you feel special, worth something. He had always been special, with his grand plans and his strong faith.  When you were with him, it was as if you were important too.  He was God's servant on earth.  He was so exceptional, brilliant and gifted, cunning and smart, always a step ahead of seemingly everyone.  Being with him made you feel special too, by extension.  Belonging to him meant being a part of something extraordinary.  You liked feeling extraordinary.

You liked being his.  Being with Fyodor was unlike any other relationship you had ever had.  He was attentive at first, sweet and cautious, as if he thought you would run away.  After some time of reassuring him, making certain he knew you were his forever, he had started to let you in more.  He told you about his vision, his plans, God's plan, about ridding the world of sin.  He educated you, taught you what the world should be like, what his world looked like, his perfect picture of what could be.  You liked feeling included, feeling part of that perfect picture.  You liked listening to him, to his dreams.  You liked everything about him.  You loved him.

You still loved him now.  Nothing had changed, not even when his controlling nature had made itself more… apparent.  Not even when he started keeping you locked up, forcing you to suit his needs, to fit into his schedule, leaving you alone for hours, until he felt like speaking with you.  You still loved him.  The affection you had never wavering, never straying from him, despite all the signs, all the red flags begging you to see them.  But aren't all flags red when you're wearing rose-tinted glasses? That's what you told yourself, the justification you gave, because you loved him.  It was all a part of his plan, his vision, it was something special.  You were something special.  Under his gaze, you were something. Without him, you were barely there, a shadow of a person.  

Fyodor preferred you like this.  Dependent on him and desperate to be with him.  It was convenient to have such a willing partner, someone who would bend and break to be what he wanted.  Someone he could control.  Someone who loved him.  Someone who would believe every pretty little lie that fell from his mouth, every “I love you”, every “That's what makes you so special”, every single flowery piece of praise.  So very convenient.   He didn't have to love you, nor did he want to.  He did not love anyone.  He had to be loved, though, had to be adored in the way he saw fit.  He needed to be desired by someone who could slot into his perfect little world.  

It could have been anyone.  It just happened to be you. There was no special person, despite the way Fyodor made you feel.  He whispered words of praise, of being special, of being needed, and you clung to him, desperate to hear it again and again.  He made you desperate for his words, desperate for him.  He kept you that way.  Fyodor was good at that, manipulating others to get what he needed from them, using them as pawns in his game of chess, discarding them after they were no longer of use.  You were no different.  He entranced you with kind affections and over the top appreciation, drawing you in, feeding you bit by bit.  

After drawing you in, he gave praise sparingly, just enough to trap you.  It made you hungry for it, as if you would starve without his attention.  You would die without it.  It felt as though the two of you were attached by an invisible string, or more like an invisible leash, keeping you bound to him.  Still, your devotion never changed, never strayed from him.  

Even now, as the Russian rat ignored you entirely, carrying on with his work, you could not change your heart.  It would forever belong to him.  Despite being strung along, controlled, manipulated, and subjected to all manner of other things, your love for Fyodor did not change.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky was a parasite. He had corrupted you, taken over your mind, body and soul.  He was a disease that left you helpless.  He was your maker and your undoing.  He was the reason you were alone most of the time.  And yet, you could never bring yourself to be any less infatuated with the man.  Never would you ever imagine leaving him.  It was impossible.  It was a thought that simply did not exist.  You could not leave the man you loved, though it was so painfully obvious he did not feel for you the same as you felt for him.  Leaving was not an option.  There was no escape.  There was nowhere to run.

“Content” could be the word to describe it.  You were content.  The love you felt was all you needed. He need not love you back.  You were content for it to be a one-sided affection.  As long as you were there at all, you could be happy.  Fyodor Dostoyevsky was special, a man who was going to change the world, remake it anew.  He was God's servant on earth.  He was the love of your life.  As long as he permitted you to, you would happily remain at his side, answering his beck and call, adoring him in a way that would never be requited.

[justhere4thevibez]

annual writing self-evaluation

thank you @pipergirl17 and @erythromanc3r for tagging me!

1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):

oh gosh, I've been busy-busy this year with fanfic, so here goes!

Complete works:

... And a Hellcheer New Year 

Galentines and Valentines

Hold Onto Me

Devil in the Woods

Every Time I Run, I Run to You

Eddie and Chrissy Go to a Wedding 

Knocking Me Out With Those American Thighs

Cooking Up Something Sweet

Please Don't Say You Love Me

Let Me Start Over Again

You Got Me Good

Be My Breath (Through the Deep, Deep Water)

This Old Man

Do You Wanna Touch Me

My Words Will Be Your Light

She'll See I'm Not So Tough 

She Knows What She Wants

Give Me a Taste

The Right Kind of Sinner

Release My Inner Fantasy

Hooked on a Feeling

Whiskey & Wine

The Graveyard Smash

Long Is the Road Out of Hell 

In a Sentimental Mood

Set My Soul On Fire

Burnin' Out of Control

WIPs:

Looking For Something Dumb To Do

I Can't Get Rid of You 

If You Fall, I Will Catch You 

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

hmmmmm, that's a tough one! I love them all for different reasons, but I will say I'm very proud of Long Is the Road Out of Hell because it's my longest fanfic to date (almost 60k!) and at one point I really wasn't sure if I'd be able to finish it. but I did!

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

tbh if I'm not proud of something, I won't publish it. but I think the work that frustrated me the most was Whiskey & Wine, my kinktober fic. I pushed myself too hard with too big of a goal and burnt myself out halfway through. but I did learn the importance of setting boundaries for myself (and why I need to be careful committing to challenges 😅)

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

not gonna lie, once I publish something, the words tend to leave my brain, so I don't always remember what I write lol. I should probably keep a doc of good lines from my fics so I have something to present when people ask me 😂 but here are two excerpts that I'm pretty proud of.

Devil in the Woods: He had loved her since the first time he opened his eyes to find her snuggled up on his chest. He had loved her longer, since the moment he’d held her in his arms on that endlessly rainy night. And longer still, he’d loved the little girl who played jacks with him on May Day and laughed at his wild antics.

Hooked on a Feeling: He knew he could be… a lot, as kinder people said. A goddamn nuisance, according to everyone else. He didn’t mean to be, he just tended to… latch on to things. Kind of like a bulldog (but in a nice and lovable way, thank you, Jeff). And right now he had ChrissyChrissyChrissy clamped tight between his jaws, and he hoped to god she didn’t ask him to let go.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

I have a few regular commenters who give me the longest, loveliest comments where they literally analyze each chapter section by section 😭 it makes me feel so loved. but as for one individual comment, I distinctly remember a commenter from one of my early fics commenting on a really tough scene I did re: chrissy's eating disorder. they said that they also had an eating disorder, and that chapter was very healing for them. I don't think I'll ever get another comment as powerful as that.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I go in and out of mild anxious/depressive episodes, mostly due to outside stressors, and that makes it really hard to write. writing is the one constant joy in my life, and when I don't even feel like doing that, I know something is very, very wrong. but luckily, they don't usually last too long!

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

mike's redemption arc in Long Is the Road! that one was a total curveball to me, and it only came about because it was the closest place I could think of to have Chrissy walk to after her mom kicked her out. total accident, but it spawned on of my favorite sibling-ships for chrissy that I've ever written!

also writing wayne's pov! i never intended to do that, but once I started, his voice just kind of stuck in my head 😂

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I wrote a lot. like over 300k of fanfic. and i even got back into writing some original fiction, which I'm so excited about!

I also started writing smut for the first time in 2023, which was something I never anticipated doing, let alone enjoying! but it's been super fun

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I'd like to work more on my original fiction, maybe get a short story published. I'd also like to get better at world-building! I tend to get so focused on the characters that I forget they exist in a place I should spend some time creating lol

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction all the way! she's been such a wonderful beta reader, cheerleader, and overall positive influence on my writing. I Can't Get Rid of You wouldn't ever have happened without her support and feedback!

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

ooh, buddy! pieces of myself get sprinkled all over the damn place 😂 but as for specifics...

Galentines and Valentines opening scene was reminiscent of the girls' nights me and my college friends used to have (and still have sometimes)

Hooked on a Feeling had elements of my own past experiences of being laid up in a hospital (and being very annoyed about it)

This Old Man was absolutely inspired by my love of Columbo

You Got Me Good definitely included some of my own thoughts and feelings about when I get a little too high 😂

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

give your writing time.

it's so tempting when you have a new idea to jump on it and then get frustrated when it doesn't immediately turn out the way you want, but I've found that if I give myself time to think over a piece before I write it, and let it sit for a little while after I write it, I'm much happier with the end results!

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

finishing my three WIPs! and hopefully a little christmas fic 😂 I don't have anything else immediately in the works, thank god!

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

@1lostsoul0fishbowl @pearlypairings @rose-n-gunses and anybody else!!!

[aylacavebear]

Dimensional Shift - Chapter 5 S4E2 (pt. 1)

Story Summary: Maria was just a regular girl, worked at a gas station, wrote fanfic, and loved Supernatural. She even created her own supernatural creature for her writings. When the aurora borealis comes to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, one Halloween night, everything changes for her in ways she never expected. Will she be able to navigate this new world she's thrown into?

Word Count: 3851

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Warnings: Angst, some Fluff/Comfort, Alcoholism.

A/N: I broke S4E2 into a few chapters, so they weren't such a long read all at once with what was added to them.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 5 - S4E2 pt. 1

There was some arguing in the car, which continued even after getting back to Bobby’s. Bobby sat behind his desk, several books open before him while Dean and Sam were still arguing. Maria sat down on the couch, as she was the one who had gotten the particular books that Bobby was looking through at the moment. 

“I still don’t believe that this thing is a freaking Angel of the Lord because it says so!” Dean yelled, which made Maria flinch slightly.

“He’s not the only one who said that, Dean,” Sam retorted, annoyed as he looked over at Maria, remembering what she’d told them in the motel the day before.

“You two Chuckleheads want to keep arguing religion, or do you want to come take a look at this?” Bobby called out as they walked over to look at what he had, “I got stacks of lore, Biblical, pre-Biblical. Some of it’s in damn cuneiform. It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit.” 

“What else?” Dean asked.

“What else, what?” Bobby said, shrugging.

“What else could do it?” Dean asked.

“Airlift your ass out of that hot box? As far as I can tell, nothing,” Bobby said.

That was when the three of them looked at Maria, who was still sitting on the couch, drinking whiskey. She had warned them about Castiel and even changed the blinding of Pamela, the psychic. Even in Maria’s fanfics, her character always looked guilty when she knew something, which was exactly the look she had now.

“Maria, what do you know?” Dean asked, but it came out gruff, annoyed, and he was already on his third or fourth beer, but that was nothing for Dean.

“I’m not sure how much I should say,” she almost whispered.

Knowing the future, so to speak, was a blessing and a curse, and sharing too much, or too many details, could pose all new problems for all of them, and Maria knew this, but she also couldn’t lie either, not to the three of them. In her fanfic, they were her family, and even now, in their dimension, she was their family.

“You aren’t supposed to find out yet. I don’t… I don’t want to change things too much.” Maria replied, unable to look up at the three of them.

She knew that in three days, they’d go investigate why a friend of Bobby’s hadn’t returned his calls and that ghosts of their past had killed four other hunters due to the Mark of the Witness. It was called ‘the rising of the witnesses,’ an ancient prophecy from Revelations and the apocalypse. Her mind raced, attempting to figure out what she could say without giving too much away.

“It doesn’t matter. What the hell do you know?” Dean growled at that point, walking closer to her, his tone making her flinch again.

“Dean, please understand…” she began, glancing up at him, seeing the anger in his eyes and looked away, “Let me go get a book. It will tell you what you want to know, and in about two days, you’ll see what I mean.” she decided to say, avoiding changing more than she had to.

The three watched her as she walked out of the living room and down to Bobby’s panic room. She retrieved a particular book and rejoined them in the living room, setting the book on the desk in front of Bobby. The boys didn’t know about Bobby’s panic room. Maria knew more from the show than anything, but her character in her fanfic had known as well since he was like a father to her. 

“Look up the Rising of the Witnesses. I’m not saying anymore other than maybe you should warn Olivia Lowry, Carl Bate, R.C. Adams, and the other hunters in that area.” She told them before sitting back down on the couch, going back to drinking the whiskey, which Bobby always kept a steady supply of due to her tolerance from her healing ability.

Dean wasn’t happy that she wouldn’t give him a straight answer. Bobby and Sam were a little more understanding. Bobby opened the book to the section she had mentioned. She didn’t need to look at his expression to know what it looked like. His eyes widened as he read, then shared it with the boys. At this point, Maria had finished off that first bottle and started on her second.

“Time to make some phone calls,” Bobby stated, “as well as get this spell ready ahead of time.”

Dean just looked over at Maria, who hadn’t said anything since setting the book down in front of Bobby. He didn’t want to believe her when she’d told them about the angel, but it had turned out to be true, and now there was this, and none of it was good. He wanted to know more, to prepare for it, but he also knew how stubborn Maria could be, so for now, he didn’t press it, no matter how much he wanted to.

The room felt stuffy for Maria and she could feel Dean’s eyes on her, at least until Bobby snapped him out of his thoughts. Bobby sent Dean and Sam on the errand to retrieve the items for the spell while Bobby made phone calls. Maria headed outside with her bottle of whiskey.

She leaned her back against the passenger side door of her truck, her back to Bobby’s place, drinking, lost in her thoughts of the horrors that were ahead of them, wondering if there was any way she could lessen the pain that they were going to go through. She remembered how her heart had gone out to the brothers when she watched the show back in her world, wanting to take away their pain, comfort them, and tell them they would get through this. She felt a few tears slide down her cheek and quickly wiped them away as she heard footsteps approaching her, knowing it was Sam just with how he walked.

“Hey, you okay?” Sam asked her tenderly as he moved to stand in front of her.

“I will be Sam. This is just… hard, that’s all,” she replied as she looked up at him.

“Knowing things and not wanting to mess stuff up, huh?” he asked, understanding, mostly.

“Yeah,” she answered, fighting back tears, knowing what was coming, knowing he’d be trapped in that damned cage with Lucifer toying with his mind for a year but unable to say a word about it.

“I’m gonna guess it’s not pretty then, what’s in store.” there was some curiosity in his tone as well as worry, but he was also trying not to push her to say more than she was comfortable, unlike Dean, who would have been attempting to grill her for information.

“No, Sam… it’s not pretty… and it’s gonna be hard, on all of us. Probably you more than us,” she told him as she looked down at the ground, finishing off that second bottle, barely feeling anything.

Maria didn’t see the concern on Sam’s face. She didn’t want to, realizing she had probably said too much.

“You’re not going to die, so don’t think that. It’s just gonna be hard, that’s all,” she clarified, then looked at the empty bottle in her hand, scrunching her face a little, wanting another one.

“Well… umm… that’s good, at least,” Sam replied, not sounding very convinced, “Could you perhaps be a little less… vague?”

Maria sighed as she looked up at him, the look on his face almost breaking her heart, “I can’t, Sam. Not yet. I’ll tell everyone more in time, when it’s appropriate.” again, she fought back her tears, which Sam did notice. 

The “her” of this world only drank like this when her emotions got the better of her, like anger and pain, which Sam knew. It was clear she wasn’t angry. Sam moved closer and hugged her. As far as he was concerned, she was still his little sister, even if she was a little different than the Maria from this world.

“Let’s go get you another bottle,” Sam told her with a soft smile after the hug, putting his arm over her shoulder and walking her back into Bobby’s.

She could hear Dean talking to Bobby even before they went inside. It was clear that Dean wanted to push her for more information, and Bobby was about to yell at Dean about it, but Sam opened the door, making them both stop talking. Sam took her empty bottle, threw it away, then grabbed another one popping it open for her before handing it to her.

“Thanks, Sam,” she told him quietly before taking the bottle, taking another drink, then looking at the floor, choosing to sit down at the kitchen table with her back to the living room, just drinking, attempting to drown the pain she felt.

“She okay?” Bobby asked, somewhat concerned.

“She will be Bobby. This is really hard on her. She wants to tell us, but she’s afraid that if she says too much too quickly, it will change too much and could really mess stuff up, possibly making it worse for all of us,” Sam explained.

“Makes sense…” Bobby replied, glancing up at Dean, who was standing near the corner of his desk, arms crossed, his eyes on Maria as she sat in the kitchen, “Don’t go pushing her, Dean,” he warned him fairly sternly. 

Maria could feel Dean’s eyes on her, which only made her guilt worse, making her take larger drinks of the whiskey. The whiskey at least helped keep her tears away, though, so she was thankful for it. She had completely left out knowing that Sam was on demon blood. It was a topic she wasn’t ready to broach either. Maria honestly wanted to feel comfortable around them, like the character she’d written in her fanfic back in her world, but her nerves felt shot.

“I won’t, Bobby…” Dean finally said, his tone gruff and annoyed, before he clenched his jaw, watching her as she drank.

Bobby had called the hunters that Maria had spoken of earlier, and the boys had helped him prepare the spell needed to send the ghosts that would rise back to where they belonged. The other hunters agreed to call Bobby the moment they noticed anything but didn’t question how he knew something was coming. 

The hours passed slowly for Maria. She had finished that third bottle, which felt like several hours ago when, in truth, it had only been about forty-five minutes. She didn’t know how to face any of them. In her fanfic, the three of them learned sign language not long after they had met her so they could talk among themselves when they knew she was within her hearing range. She sighed as she sat at the table in the kitchen, hearing only silence from the living room, knowing that they were talking about her.

Dean: We need to know.

Sam: She’ll tell us in time, when we need to know, just like with the angel.

Dean: It’s not enough. I need to know why.

Bobby: Knock it off, both of you. She’s family and won’t let any of us get hurt if she can help it.

Dean: That’s not the point. She knows way more than she’s saying. She only drinks like that when she is pissed or sad. She ain’t pissed.

Bobby: I swear, boy, you push it, and we’re gonna have a problem.

Dean: I already said I won’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know what the hell we’re up against.

Sam: She’s telling us what’s important when it’s needed. Trust her already. She’s still our Maria.

Dean sighed and looked back over at her, noticing how she had laid her head on her arms, which were on the table now, her gaze out the window near the table. He cared for her, she was family, almost as much as Sam. She looked and even acted like “their” Maria. The only difference had been that she knew how things were going to play out, and it almost seemed as though she couldn’t hide her emotions as well as “their” Maria used to.

Bobby: Think about it, Dean, from her perspective. She’s from a world where we’re just a television show to her. She’s probably having a harder time than any of us right now.

Dean sighed again, knowing he was right. He took another drink of his whiskey. The poor girl was probably fairly emotional. He thought about if he ended up in some television show and how he’d end up feeling, although it’d be different for him as he’d probably try to have fun with the girls in the show, that thought making him smirk a bit. Dean kicked off a bit from Bobby’s desk and headed into the kitchen, setting his glass of whiskey down on the table before moving a chair so he was closer to Maria, setting a hand on her shoulder when he sat down.

“Hey, I’m not mad at you,” he told her softly.

“I know, Dean,” she replied quietly, “this just sucks, that’s all.”

“Well, you’re family, no matter where you’re from. We all trust you, and that isn’t gonna change,” he tried to reassure her, wishing she’d turn her head so he could attempt to read her better.

“Thanks, Dean, that means a lot to me,” she told him before turning her head on her arms, looking up at him, tears threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes.

Dean instantly moved even closer to her, hugging her with his arm over her shoulder and pulling her closer so that her closest shoulder was against his chest, “Hey, why are you crying?” he asked, concerned.

“I’m not,” she replied, then looked away from him, trying to hide her blush for him being so close. Her character in her fanfic was used to his scent. She, however, was not, and it was fairly intoxicating. It didn’t help that she really did love him, and now he was right next to her, holding her in a half hug.

“Not what it looked like to me,” he said softly, “You can talk to me, you know that.” he paused for a moment, “Why not tell me about your world, help take your mind off things.” he finally said, still holding her as he had been.

Maria’s mind raced again, although now she wasn’t sure what she should reveal and what she shouldn’t, like her love for him, thinking it was stupid to fall in love with a fictional character, even if he wasn’t so fictional anymore. She took a deep breath, thinking about how her character might act in this situation. Her character had more courage than she thought she ever could. Maria felt as though she wasn’t confident, didn’t have the courage she wanted, was too shy around guys, and was more of a mouse than anything.

She took a deep breath, unable to ignore his scent, but turned to look at him anyway, still laying her head on her arms on the table, “It’s pretty boring where I come from. There aren’t things there like there are here. No monsters or hunters, no angels or demons.”

Dean noticed the slight blush on her cheeks, which made him get that soft smirk, “Sounds kind of boring, you’re right, but doesn’t that mean you get a quiet life.” his tone was soft, almost curious.

She chuckled a little, even managing to smile slightly, “I went to work, came home, wrote fanfic, usually drank, slept, then did it all over again. I usually watched my favorite show while I wrote, inspiring me.” 

Dean sat there, his arm still around her, sipping his drink with his other hand, listening, “Might be kind of nice, having a boring life like that.” 

“You’d hate it, Dean. I know how much you love hunting,” Maria chuckled, then snagged a drink out of his glass of whiskey.

“Hey now, you’ve already had three bottles,” he laughed, holding onto his drink this time, “I’d give that life a shot at least,” he added, thinking about a life without having to hunt down monsters, but knew at the same time that she was probably right about him hating it.

Maria laughed a bit when he said what he did about how much she had already drunk, and she was slightly buzzed, finally, “Let’s just say that you did try it, at one point, here. You did like it, but…” she trailed off, watching his expression change and had to look away again, “you were only partially happy, always looking over your shoulder, wondering when that life would catch up with you, which put a couple of people danger. You end up heartbroken, Dean. I just… don’t want to see you go through that.” her tone had gotten quiet the more she spoke. She had been vague, or as vague as she could.

Dean almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing, knowing there would be only one reason he’d ever try that kind of life. He pulled away from Maria, then glanced into the living room at Sam and Bobby, more Sam than anything, wondering what Maria knew that he didn’t.

“Dean, Sam doesn’t die, so don’t think that, okay,” she told him quietly. She had already reassured Sam earlier that neither of them died, not really anyway. She knew what was in store for the two of them over the next twenty or so years and everything that was laid out for them by God, whom they hadn’t met yet.

He looked back over at her, somewhat surprised, wanting answers, but chose not to push things, remembering what Sam and Bobby had said earlier, “I trust you, so I’ll believe you, but I know the only reason I’d even attempt that kind of life.” he said, attempting to keep the annoyance out of his tone, even though his jaw clenched again before he finished off his drink.

“I’ll explain things as they come up, the best I can, so we can all be prepared, I promise,” she replied, finally looking over at him, and the sadness had returned, as well as those tears she had been fighting.

That look in her eyes hurt him, which made his expression soften again, “I’m not mad at you, just the situation, okay,” he said, trying to reassure her, again, “So, where were you working?”

She wanted to believe him, but still somewhat felt like he was mad at her for not telling him everything she knew, “I worked at a convenience store as a cashier.”

“What kind of fanfic did you write?” he asked, only slightly curious but also trying to take her mind off things.

That’s when she blushed again. It was light, though, and the kitchen light danced across her deep, dark blue eyes for a moment, “Lots of different kinds of things, really. Movies, video game characters, and TV shows,” she bit her bottom lip for a moment, nervous, “in the last year though, it’s just been about Supernatural.” she felt her heart pounding but tried to calm it. The alcohol had given her a little more courage than she normally would have had.

Dean raised an eyebrow when she mentioned Supernatural, “You wrote about us, for a year?” he asked, almost in disbelief.

Maria looked down at the table, managing not to blush further than she already was, “Yeah…” was all she could manage. She wasn’t about to tell him that in that year, she had binge-watched the show nearly five times between work and writing fanfic.

“What was your favorite part?” he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him as her blush intrigued him. His Maria never would have blushed like that, not over something so small. Hell, his Maria hardly blushed at all.

Maria took a deep breath, “The dynamic between you and Sam, and things I can’t tell you yet. Just the way you guys always came out on top of things, no matter what was thrown at you. Plus, no matter what problems happened between you and Sam, you two always found a way to work it out.” there was a slight dreaminess to her words and expression, as well as a softness in her eyes, even if Dean couldn’t completely see them with how she was facing. She wasn’t about to tell him that she had rewritten the complete 15 seasons, including her character in it, and in her world, it was online for others to enjoy reading, which they did.

Bobby and Sam were listening from the living room, having their own silent conversation through sign language. Dean had even noticed when he had glanced in there earlier. The two of them were fairly proud of Dean for at least trying to talk with Maria and not pushing for immediate answers.

“Sounds like you got pretty attached,” Dean was almost teasing her like he would have his Maria, as there was now a smirk to match his tone.

Maria turned towards him and was unable to keep that smile off her face, seeing that smirk of his up close, “I like the real thing better,” she told him matter-of-factly, which made him chuckle a bit.

“So this monster stuff, it doesn’t scare you at all?” he asked, amused with her now.

“No, but I know I’m weird too,” she answered.

“Weird isn’t a bad thing here,” he replied and was a bit surprised to be more interested in her than he had been his own Maria, whom he had treated more like a little sister than anything.

Maria and Dean eventually joined Bobby and Sam in the living room. There were moments when things got awkwardly quiet, but one of them managed to find a different topic for conversation. They spent a few hours getting to know this “new” Maria before she excused herself for the night, knowing where her room was since this world was almost out of her fanfic. She’d already changed things and knew she’d have to be careful with things in the future. The three of them stayed up a bit later, having their silent conversation. There was the occasional chuckle, sigh, groan, and even some laughter that would happen, but no words.

Her dreams were what they always were, but now they seemed to include other things, things from “her” past in the fanfic. These were almost like memories instead of dreams, and they felt real. Her father, William Winter, a legend among hunters and the Men of Letters who had erased all records of her existence once she had received the Touch of Bastet, making her a supernatural creature, no matter how human she looked. A memory of when he had returned from a hunt when she was five, opening the motel room door and scooping her up into his arms. She could even smell his scent, which made her smile in her sleep.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 6 - S4E2 pt. 2

Dimensional Shift Master List

Main Master List

Tag List: @nancymcl

[hellishradio]

▞ 🎙 EVENT !

[ 03.18.24 ] CLOSED.

long awaited event is finally here !! open below to see what's in store <3

all prompts will have an emoji, please put the emoji at the start of your ask! some asks will be selective if i choose not to respond, please understand that! don't put any emoji (except for anon symbols) if it's an ask unrelated to the event!

event will be all tagged #hellishradio!100event . it will last 3-4 days!

✦ ASK MOD !

🪷 - ask any questions about me! whether it be my headcanons, opinions about my muse, me personally (though i will not be answering questions i wish to not tell), any tutorials, etc! i also take art requests!

📚 - send me a plot/story idea you have for my muse and i will tell you how i would write it!

🎨 - send a "dress/draw alastor in ______" and i will draw it!

🎐 - send me any character from hazbin hotel and i will provide any opinion, vision, or headcanon about them!

✦ INTERACT WITH ALASTOR !

💭 - tell me about yourself anonymously and alastor will tell his inner thoughts about you! ( gender + personality + likes + dislikes + hobbies + etc, you don't have to answer all sections if you're uncomfortable! )

🖊- put alastor in a specific scenario! and he will react!

🤫 - alastor can't lie?! send any asks and my muse will tell his truth!

❗️ - ask a question! works like a regular ask but i will add an ooc comment of my headcanon so there's more info!

❤️‍🩹 - send in anything you're sad about, whether it be a vent, something you're stressed about, etc. alastor and mod will give you advice! ( send anonymously please, and warnings for any triggers! will be tagged #hellishradio!advice so if you don't want to see this, please mute/filter it! alastor will be less of a narcissistic heartless character in this symbol for obvious comforting reasons.)

✉️ - send any confessions and alastor will react!

🦴 - send a headcanon about alastor and both alastor and mod will react! (if i like it, i'll make a official headcanon hehe)

✦ SYMBOLS OF KINDNESS .

( give mod an encouraging word maybe? <3 )

❤️ — i love how you portray your muse

🎁 — i love your aesthetic and graphics

🌸 — you're one of my favourite blogs

🫧 — your posts always make me happy

💕 — i'm grateful for your blog

🌷 — admiring from afar

✦ IDEAS FOR SENDS !

link | link | link | link | link

link | link

keep in mind i linked these just for ideas! please don't use the emojis in the linked posts <3

ㅤ

[not-too-many-eyes]

Digimon Survive, Mistakes and Moving On Part 3: Harmony

Day 5 of Survive Week: Relationships

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Takuma Addition] This part will focus on the Harmony Route, the characters it focuses on, and what that means for the story exploring how this route connects to the larger themes of the game. EDIT: Note for myself: Do not edit while your sleepy or else you'll do stuff like forget to finish whole paragraphs. Sorry for how incomplete this was it got finished really late this should be (mostly) fixed now! Spoilers for: All of Harmony and parts of Wrathful CWs: Death, Self-Hatred, Stalking.

Save the World Something that might trip a few people up when the routes first diverge is that Harmony's route choice is "Save the World" while Moral's is "Stay true to your friends", if Harmony focuses on cooperation and...well harmony and Moral focuses on doing the right thing then shouldn't they be switched? Well, no, the thing about a Harmony Takuma is that he isn't saving the world because it's right.

Takuma: I...want to help save the world, too. Takuma: (To be honest, I don't know if I'm up to it. Part of me doesn't want to deal with it.) Takuma: (But after all I've been through, I can't just pretend like it's not my problem!)

He's coming because he wants to help Miyuki save the world, because this isn't just her problem, or his friends' problem, it's also his.

So they jump into the portal, and Chapter 9 starts, and we are greeted with a flashback focusing on Miu Shininome. Miu Shininome

Miu Shininome is the one who lead you into the shrine in the first place, and at first glance, she seems like a bit of a brat. She doesn't exactly make the best first impression considering when you first meet her she leads Ryo and Saki to the shrine that sends you to this world and the second time you meet her she's acting like a "Queen" to a bunch of Kemonogami. Miu is actually really bad at expressing her emotions. She's always putting on show. Something she even admits this to Takuma in Chapter 5.

Miu: Um, well you know how me and Kaito moved here not too long ago, right? Takuma: Yeah, Kaito told me. Miu: Things got kinda, well, dicey in the last place we lived so we moved here. Takuma: Kinda dicey...? Miu: Yeah, dicey, Kaito's been a pain in my behind ever since. Miu: He always tries to stick close to me, and blows his top at the slightest thing... Miu: I hate him doing that, so I always try to act all happy and stuff. Takuma: I had no idea... Miu: Well, it sounds like the spirit power thing isn't helping, but that's fine. Miu: It feels way safer than acting like regular old me.

We'll get to Miu's Stalker later but I do want to talk about how even in this scene Miu isn't being entirety honest with Takuma.

While Miu does hate Kaito's overbearing and overprotective attitude, Miu also cares for him a lot. And what Miu also wants, other than Kaito to stop treating her like she can't do anything, is for Kaito to be able to rest. Because she knows that Kaito does not take care of himself nearly as much as he should.

Takuma: It just shows how much he cares for you, Miu. Miu: I know that! I Just wish he wouldn't be so focused on me all the time. Miu: I don't know what's going to become of him. Takuma: You're right, he is going to have to give you some more space at some point. Miu: Yeah, see? I'm grateful to him and all... Miu: ...but I don't want him using me as an excuse not to have a girlfriend. That'd be gross! Dracmon: Ha ha, I can see it spiraling into that if left unchecked. Takuma: Sounds like you worry about him in your own way, Miu. Miu: Well, of course. We're family. I'd hate to think what might happen if things went wrong.

I'll talk about the Shininiome Siblings in more detail in a bit, but my point is Miu finds it hard to be honest and finds it even harder to trust people to be honest.

Takuma: It's hard to believe, yeah. No telling what real intentions lie behind someone's words. Takuma: There's a possibility you can't accept their words at face value. Miu: Yeah, some people apologize after the fact, even though they're not sorry at all.

Miu, unfortunately, has a lot of experience with people who are dishonest, and even more experience with people who don't think she's telling the truth.

Miu: (I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't even do anything to lead him on or whatever) Miu: (That stalker jerk's the worst. He says we're dating, even after getting arrested.) Miu: (Dating? Talk about delusional...And yet, it seems like my parents kind of believed him.) Miu: (They look at me like I did something wrong, and even Kaito is clingier than usual.) Miu: (My parents, my brother...in the end, no one in my family believed me.) Miu: (This isn't just some jaunt to the countryside...This is exile.) Miu: (I hate it...I hate everyone...I can't take it anymore...)

Miu feels suffocated, she feels like she's being punished for something that isn't even her fault and it gets worse when she goes to school, where she's ostracized and bullied.

So Miu refuses to let anyone close. Not even her brother who's going through his own problems and Miu is, understandably, both angry at her brother for being so protective and patronizing, and scared that Kaito will get hurt because of Her Problems, and she doesn't want that. They already had to move because of her stalker, if Kaito got hurt because of her...

???: I'm a burden to my family...If it hadn't been for me... we wouldn't have moved... ???: My parents wouldn't treat me like some kind of disease...I wish I could just disappear! Miu: How? How can you know what I'm thinking?!

These feelings (and the failure to properly address them) are ultimately what lead to Miu's death. Miu doesn't want to abandon one child that might still be in the park even if the fog is getting thicker. Because she's the queen, she needs to take responsibility. Notably what Miu is doing is something Kaito does a lot, which is do something that puts them at danger if it means someone they care about doesn't get hurt. When Kaito tries to stop her Miu goes anyway and Kaito realizes that this must be how she feels. But it's still Really Dangerous for Miu to be off on her own so they go after her, but there too late. Miu was deceived by a Kenzoku that grabs her before anyone reach her.

Unlike Saki, whose death was caused by something everyone could see coming, who chose to die to save everyone. Miu dies suddenly, without anyone around to help her, because she wanted to save someone who was tricking her.

Her last words is her brother's name. Miu knew that if anyone could of saved her, it would be him. The Shinonome Siblings

So, the relationship of the Siblings is basically its own character so it's getting it's own section. The Shinonome siblings relationship is tense, there's always this undercurrent of uncertainty, where your not sure if either of them really care about each other. Does Kaito really care about Miu or is it just an excuse for his violent impulses? Does Miu really care about Kaito or does she really hate him like she says she does?

Miu's stalker and the subsequent fallout is always haunting them, Kaito is always scared that something like that will happen to Miu and that he will fail to protect her again so he focuses so much on Miu that his life isn't as important as compared to her. And while Miu wants to move on she's still heavily affected by it and it influences how Miu sees herself and how everyone else interacts with her.

They are alone together. It's Kaito and Miu against the world, except they can't properly understand each other either. Kaito is trying but can never do enough to help Miu because he doesn't understand what Miu really wants and Miu genuinely appreciates and cares about Kaito but Kaito is never sure that Miu really does like him. Leading to miscommunication and harm even though they really do care for each other.

There arcs are also intrinsically tied to each other. Miu's growth as a person is shown through her relationship with Kaito and vice versa. There relationship getting better also means that them as individuals are growing and recovering.

So...what happens to the other if one of them dies? Kaito Shinonome

Kaito Shinonome loves and cares about his sister. This is an undisputed fact. Kaito cares a lot about his sister and will hurt people if it means she gets to be happy and live a good life. It's obvious from when you first meet him that Kaito really really wants his sister to be safe and okay. To the point where he's overbearing, overprotective and patronizing to Miu, Kaito treats Miu like she can't do anything for herself, even describing her as "frail" and like "timid, needing protection" when you first meet him, with Takuma even saying that it doesn't seem like an accurate description.

Kaito isn't the greatest brother in the world and he knows this. He calls his shadow self out on treating Miu like she's defenseless in moral, he tells Aoi at the end of Wrathful that he constantly makes mistakes, he gets self-conscious whenever Takuma or the others compliment him, and his affinity goes up when you call him out on his bad behavior because he really wants to stop hurting Miu.

Takuma: You act like her dad. Kaito: ... Takuma: I think Miu finds it annoying. You're always in her business. Kaito: You're totally right about that.

Kaito doesn't like hurting Miu, and while he tries to improve for her sake it seems like he's never able to do enough. It feels like he's stuck falling back into his destructive impulses and his overprotective attitude no matter how hard he tries.

But, Kaito can't help but worry. What happens if something like the stalker incident happens again? What if Kaito isn't there to protect her this time? What if he is but he's too weak to do anything? It's an understandable fear, especially since it happened when the two of them were even younger than they are now. Kaito is terrified, of not being good enough to save Miu, terrified that if he takes his eyes off her something bad will happen again, terrified that when the time comes, he'll hesitate, and something bad will happen to her. Just like before. Right before Miu's death, Kaito and Miu were arguing in the gym about Miyuki, then the conversation changes topic to Kaito's over protectiveness, Miu's weak he says, that she needs him to protect her, and he always be there to protect him. Miu shouts back, saying that she is stronger now, that she can stand on her own two feet. That really Kaito is the one that's weak, that's he's really relying on her.

Overwhelmed by his emotions and Miu having hit a point of insecurity, Kaito slaps her. He's immediately horrified, why did he do that? Miu says that it's because he's using her as an excuse to vent his anger. Is that true? Is that what Kaito is really doing?

He's not, the other routes prove it. But in Harmony, Kaito's worst fear happens, Miu dies, and Kaito couldn't do anything but watch, or could he?

Kaito: I hesitated to jump into the fog...Why did I do that? Kaito: Takuma made it back, so Miu could've done the same. Kaito: But my legs froze for just a moment... Kaito: It's just like Miu said...I wasn't thinking about protecting her at all... Kaito: Did I just wanna swing my fists...? Vent my frustrations, high on my own strength?

This is Kaito's version of "I let go of Saki" except unlike Wrathful where Aoi distorts what really happened, Kaito builds off what did happen. Miu Did say Kaito was didn't actually want to protect her, Kaito's legs Did freeze during her death. Takuma was able to come back from the Fog. Meaning Miu could of been saved and Kaito failed.

Like how Aoi's identity is built on taking care of everyone and gets shattered when Saki dies, Kaito's self-worth, is built on protecting Miu. Any progress in his development he's made before this vanishes because Miu is dead. So much of his identity revolves around protecting Miu that Kaito puts himself in Danger to protect her. After he's able to move again he tries to run Into The Fog even though he knows that Miu is dead because he cannot accept it.

Kaito: Why did Miu, of all people, have to suffer for all this? Kaito: If none of us are to blame, and she's not to blame, then why's she the one that had to go? Kaito: You can't just brush this off with some empty words! I bet you don't even care!

Kaito, like Miu, is very used to not trusting anyone . Why would he? Kaito and Miu have been alone for so long with no one who cared enough to support them, he can't accept Takuma and the others really care because if they did then why are they trying to move on so quickly? Why are they treating her like a memory? Why are they leaving her behind so easily?

Like how Aoi will always find a way to lead it back to how it's her fault, Kaito will always lead it back to how everyone, including him, failed her.

Illusion Miu: You always said you'd protect me, Kaito. You promised to keep me safe. Illusion Miu: So why? Why did you turn your back on me? Kaito: I didn't! I swear! I'd never turn my back on you! I did everything I could to save you!!! Illusion Miu: That's a lie... Illusion Miu: A lie! And you're a liar! Liar, liar, LIAR!!! Illusion Miu: I saw you hesitate. You hesitated, instead of jumping into that fog after me! Kaito: What?! Illusion Miu: I was being devoured by that fog! And you hesitated! Illusion Miu: All you cared about is yourself! That's why you left me to die!

This is very far from the truth, Kaito for one Did try to jump into the fog before Takuma stopped him on the grounds that he would die. Kaito also showed such a concerning amount of lack of self-preservation that even Miu herself was worried that Kaito was going to get himself into trouble for her one day. But, Kaito doesn't just blame himself.

Kaito: (She was afraid of others. What happened with the stalker left her scarred.) Kaito: (She fought back against their teasing because she was scared. They wouldn't stop.) Kaito: (Was it her fault? She never asked to be stalked.) Kaito: (Why does everything bad get dumped on her?) Kaito: (I have to protect Miu) Kaito: (No one else will, they'll just hurt her)

Why would a fair world let Miu suffer as much as she did? Why would a good world hurt someone like her? Why would a world worth living let her die like that?

Kaito wants revenge, and he's willing to pay any price for it.

Dracmon is Survive's Best Big Brother. He's always a delight when he's on screen and his relationship with Kaito is one of the best in the game, with Dracmon really feeling like Kaito's big brother in a way.

However in Harmony Kaito is verbally abusive towards him. If Dracmon was better, more powerful, maybe Miu could of survived. Dracmon even agrees that he is somewhat at fault for not being strong enough. Kaito says sorry right before Piedmon appears, saying he was the one who was weak not Dracmon.

But working off Survive Partner Reflections, Dracmon represents a part of Kaito. A part that, after Miu's death, he considers weak. Dracmon is always pointing out the flaws in Kaito's logic, that this is a trap, that Miu wouldn't of wanted this, that Kaito isn't acting reasonably. He tries his best to reason with Kaito, to stop him from doing something he can't take back. But Kaito won't budge.

Kaito: You understand what I want better than anyone else in the world. Dracmon: I understand...that your heart is burning with pure darkness. Dracmon: But I can tell you're serious. Dracmon: All right, then. I'll abide by your decision. Piedmon: As it should be, Rrgh! Piedmon: Now go on, imagine it...Fill your mind with hatred towards the world, with revenge! Dracmon: Kaito... Kaito: What? Dracmon: You and me... Dracmon: We were like brothers, weren't we? Kaito: ... Kaito: Yeah, we were. Thank you.

Kaito, literally, sacrifices a part of himself for revenge. Dracmon fuses with Piedmon to create Boltboutamon After that, he beats up the group, badly, and goes down to fight the Master, eventually, after another fight, Kaito goes down, and Takuma offers him a chance to move on.

Takuma: You can't change what you've done. What's past is past. Takuma: But we're still alive. The world hasn't been destroyed yet. Takuma: It's okay, Kaito. I know you'll find a way to move foward again.

--------------------------------

Takuma: Kaito, you're our friend. So don't go and act like you're on your own. Kaito: But...I tried to destroy the entire world! Takuma: And if you every try it again, we'll be sure to knock some sense into you.

This is something that Kaito has not had before. People who are there to support him, people who are there to help him move on and become better. Harmony Kaito is noticeably easier to reason with than Wrathful Aoi, because Harmony Kaito's problem is that he doesn't believe that the people around Miu, including himself. Really cared, and that a world worth living wouldn't of hurt Miu so much.

So when Takuma and the others offer him a second chance, even though he Tried to Destroy The World. It's the ultimate argument against Kaito's logic, that no, there are people who really do care, that there are people who are worth trusting. It's nice, until Boltboutamon comes in, and kills Kaito, The Professor, Haru and Miyuki.

Kaito: You know...being friends...wasn't so bad...

Those are his last words, it's too late for him, like it was for Aoi. I'd talk more about the ending of Harmony but it's a bit disconnected from the siblings. The most they do is help hold back Boltboutamon so that everyone else can finish them off.

The world of Harmony is more peaceful than Wrathful's, but it's still in turmoil. So the gang is now part of the Institute that is trying to help and protect kids who have found there partners. Trying to help keep order in a new world.

Ending notes: I was going to add a part about how Wrathful and Harmony are parallels but this is long and I'm already posting this late so...maybe I'll add it to Moral's part This made me love Harmony more, I thought it was fine before but this really made me think about it more...still don't think its as good as moral or wrathful but it's pretty good.

I love the Shinonome Siblings so bad ough...there so great...love them so much....

Digimon Survive Week is created by @surviveweek

EDIT: DO NOT LET ME EDIT AT 1AM IN THE MORNING TERRIBLE IDEA

[necromxncerart]

Cringetober[but it's December] Day 6: Nekomimi

Won't lie, not the proudest of this one. I tried to do too much, I think I'll probably come back to this piece when I'm no longer on a time crunch. Learned my lesson about backgrounds during art challenges. Anyways, meet Takito, or just Tak[he/him]! Now-a-days, nekomimi characters(humans with animal characteristics) are more commonly called hybrids. Tak is a Maned Wolf hybrid. He's tall, loud, smug, and extremely smart. His day job is as a Forensic Scientist. He analyzes evidence, plays with fingerprints and DNA, and covers up crimes for his regular occupation. Cleanup crew for the mafia. He's well beloved for his intelligence and dedication to his jobs. He's ambitious, smart, and detail orientated. And not at all squeamish about blood. Tak spends a lot of time cleaning up mafia killings, rubber gloves and all, and uses his job as a Forensic Scientist to cover up and manipulate evidence from mafia crimes. He's mafia undercover. And so is his "boyfriend", Axel. A tiger hybrid who's mostly just muscle. Both corrupt cop and mafia bodyguard. They hate each other, but it's true love.

[breithenua]

It's my honest opinion that Danzo didn't actually do a lot of the things he did for the village, as he claimed. He liked to tell himself that, sure, but I believe that was just a lie he told himself to justify to himself his own actions. I think that ultimately, whether he was honest with himself about it or not, he did those things for the benefit of his own ambitions, or just to be petty. When viewed in that light, I think Danzo's decisions ultimately make more sense, though they make one hate him more too.

In essence, I see Danzo as a resentful, jealous, petty cockroach of a man that subconsciously acted on those emotions while convincing himself that his actions were for "the greater good of Konoha". And to further convince himself that it wasn't his own petty emotions ruling his actions, he created the Root with the creed of not allowing its members to engage with their own emotions.

That's sort of the irony of his character; Danzo preached distance and suppression of one's emotions in order to carry out the mission, but was ultimately ruled by them under the surface because of his refusal to grapple with them honestly. You can't truly act outside of your emotions if you aren't aware of what they even are, afterall.

Let's look at some of his actions. Hiruzen was chosen as the 3rd hokage over him, and what did Danzo do? He created an entire shadow organization that carried out sabotage missions, assasinations and such that even the regular anbu were not privy to.

Hiruzen didn't want to pursue damages from other villages after the 3rd Shinobi war ended, because he didn't want any further conflict to break out needlessly. It was Danzo that pushed for the pursuance of damages more than anyone else, and as a result Hiruzen had to step down and take the blame onto himself. It's probably not a coincidence that Danzo's insistence resulted in the hokage spot he had wanted for literally decades being open, giving him the opportunity to possibly take over.

When Minato was chosen as the 4th Hokage, he was furious. Danzo also happened to be the man that leaked the information a few years after that incident, that Naruto had the 9-tails sealed inside him, conveniently leaving out the fact that Minato was his father and that Minato had wished for the village to see Naruto as a hero for taking on the burden of the 9-tails. Uniting the village wasn't the reason, and I'll get into why it isn't, further down. I believe he did so because he was still resentful towards Minato for not only becoming the 4th hokage instead of him, much like Hiruzen did before, and with Minato and Kushina both being dead, Naruto was the next closest person he could lash out against.

In the immediate aftermath of the 9-tails attack, Danzo helped spread rumors that the Uchiha were behind it, despite knowing the fact that they wanted to join but were ordered not to, including by himself. Why? That certainly wasn't for unity. There's nothing unifying about driving a wedge between Konoha and one of it's oldest, and most powerful clans, especially when that clan runs the ninja police force that kept the day to day peace in the village. That's why I call bullshit on the reasoning for revealing the secret about Naruto being unifying everyone against Naruto in their hate and distrust. He wasn't concerned about unity in the immediate aftermath of the incident at all, in fact he did what he could to destroy said unity.

So what then was his reason for spreading those rumors that the Uchiha were behind the attacks? And I don't know for sure, but we do know he lusted after and was jealous of their power. It could've been sheer resentment of the power they had and he didn't have. Or maybe from the very beginning he wanted to plant the seeds for the Uchiha to attempt to rebel so that Konoha would have a reason to crush them, giving him the chance to steal all those Sharingan eyes. I don't know. But it certainly wasn't for "unity".

Several years later, when the Uchiha understandably got so tired and pissed at being treated like shit becquse of those suspicions, and started planning a coup d'etat, he sabotaged Itachi and Shisui's plans for stopping the coup in a bloodless manner (by way of using Shisui's Koto Amatsukami on Itachi's father and the clan head Fugaku during a clan meeting). Danzo had one of his root agents of Aburame descent fatally poison/paralyze Shisui with insect venom, and then stole one of Shisui's eyes right out of his skull, and would've taken the other if the pain and shock hadn't allowed Shisui to overcome the paralysis of the poison. He justified this by saying Shisui's power would be better off in his hands than used on such a gamble. But we don't know that Shisui's idea couldn't have worked. Fugaku was the clan head, and held a lot of respect. Which leads me to believe that while Danzo may have told himself it wouldn't have worked anyway, ultimately he just wanted an excuse to steal Shisui's eyes.

When it became clear that Shisui's death prevented that route from being taken, Hiruzen wanted to try to enter into dialogues with them directly. What did Danzo do? He wnet behind Hiruzen's back and basically convinced Itachi that either he kills the entire clan besides Sasuke so that Sasuke at least can live, or he lets the coup take place, and EVERY Uchiha including Sasuke would die. This resulted in the Uchiha massacre, and "coincidentally" allowed Danzo to obtain a ton more extra Sharingan for that Hashirama cell arm of his.

Lastly, there's the fact that he and his root members stood by and did nothing during the Pain assault. Afaik it's literally stated that he did this to make Tsunade look incompetent, so that he could take her place as 6th Hokage.

Point is to all of this, I believe Danzo was an incredibly selfish, jealous and petty man who did everything he could to convince himself it was for the good of his village. He was ultimately ruled by his base desires, because he didn't have the emotional awareness or honesty with himself to grapple with his own emotions.

[wandringaesthetic]

Okay, now that Castlevania Nocturne is out and now that Alucard is officially a part of it, we're eventually going to have to deal with something. At the very least as a background detail:

Dracula and Lisa are back from the dead as of the end of Castlevania season 4, because wow does that create a lot of problems. I almost have to believe that Warren Ellis got some sort of note that was like "give us a happy ending, please :-)" and responded to this with "okay, here you go, here's your happy ending. Deal with THIS, fuck-os"

I'm going to go over every way I can imagine this going:

1) You soft retcon it. That wasn't real. It was an alternate universe or the afterlife. This has the advantage of still being a happy ending for the characters. They are together and not in hell. It has the disadvantage that I am 99% certain that is not what was intended with that final scene and retcons are for cowards.

2) Dying and coming back to life miraculously gives one a peace that surpasses all understanding. Lisa forgives Dracula for trying to end the world and for trying to kill Alucard those two times. Dracula reacts in a reasonable and measured way when Lisa eventually dies (of natural causes at an advanced age) and either self terminates then (either by walking into the sunlight or by taking a dirt nap). OR Dracula is still out there somewhere. Hanging out. Basket weaving.

2b) Alucard thought Drac might have changed the world. He does. Or he tries to. Obviously he does not succeed as the 1400s thru 1700s occurred in a way that is at least somewhat familiar to us. [I think it's also likely that when Alucard said all that he was exaggerating his father's good qualities as part of the grieving process]. Someone eventually kills him OR he decides his work is done and takes a nap.

In either of these scenarios I do not think Alucard would be able to just forgive Drac. Nor do I think he would be entirely cool with Lisa just forgiving Dracula. I think this would result in, minimum level of discord: "go, live your life, be happy, but I do not want to so much as look at either of you." Maximum level of discord? Drac's idea of a vampire and human new world order is actually pretty terrible and Alucard just has to put him down again.

3) I really don't like the above scenarios because I have difficulty seeing Lisa just forgive Dracula for the omnicidal mania or for trying to kill Alucard. It feels emotionally wrong, to me. If she doesn't already know about all that, I think it's impossible that she doesn't eventually find out.

So 3a) She leaves him. I think it's pretty likely Drac has decided that he doesn't want to go through the whole ending the world charade again but I also don't think he would react to this WELL. He self terminates.

3b) she stays with him, but ONLY because she has definite confirmation that she is a load bearing support in his mental stability. In her heart of hearts, she hates him. They're occasionally happy but mostly miserable. Possibly Drac eventually figures this out and reacts poorly. Maybe another genocide situation but I think more likely he either lets her go and self terminates (Lisa lives a long and productive life without him) or we have a regular ass murder suicide.

3c) he puts some kind of spell on her so she doesn't remember or never finds out. I could see Alucard being complicit with this (may seem contradictory to some of what I said above, but he wants his mom to be happy, he doesn't want to have to kill his dad again, and I think he's just.... mentally and emotionally exhausted and can't deal with it). This is.... a nightmare of a magical domestic abuse situation. Maybe I'll write this fic one day if I ever feel like making myself throw up. But I think either Alucard gets tired of the lie or Lisa breaks the spell and one of them fucking stake him.

4) Combined with almost any of the above: Dracula prevents himself going bugshit over Lisa's death by preventing her from dying. I.e., he turns her, probably against her will. This would probably be the end of their relationship, but I think Dracula might be able to live with Lisa undead and hating him better than he could with her being dead (or at least dead by angry mob). In this scenario I think Dracula would still be kicking around, but doing what, I don't know.

So basically IMO your options are: retcon, emotional dishonesty (read: bad writing), or choose your own terrible nightmare adventure! Some of the terrible nightmare adventures could tie in thematically with Nocturne! (Olrox forcibly turning his lover, Dracula trying to create a "new world" and failing for one reason or another)

Happy hunting! There's no such thing as a happy ending because nothing ends!

[flameof]

I am going to be ranting about Oshi no Ko, a manga/anime series I have tried twice now to pick up, and dropped just as quickly each time, for a post now. I do not know when I will be done. If you love the series, that's all well and good, but I keep seeing it on facebook meme pages, and it has reached the point of annoying me more than Hazama angered me at the end of Blazblue Continuum Shift Extend. If you do not want to hear some nobody like me rag on one of your fav anime, then feel free to ignore me, I'm ranting for my own sake.

I'll start by opening with the fact that those facebook meme pages had basically spoiled everything before I so much as knew it was a show that was airing, so maybe that has something to do with my opinion, but whatever.

It also doesn't help that a lot of those memes boil down to 'Aquamarine has sex with character x', so that's certainly jaded my opinion.

My first real problem with it comes down to the premise. That is to say, the dark side of Japan's idol industry, and two reincarnators born as the children of their favourite idol. Starting with the first point, who in this day and age doesn't know that idol culture is a cesspool of scum and villainy? I know that idol fans are chaos incarnate; I've seen the shit that Vtuber fans get up to. So, already, I'm turn off by the fact that the show focuses on something I already know. Then there's the reincarnator thing... why do they need to be reincarnators? Like, really, why? Don't get me wrong, I like a good reincarnator. They make for some pretty decent isekai shows and manga (god knows I'm addicted to the villainess isekai sub-genre), but THIS is... just excessive. Why do Ruby and Aqua have to be reincarnators? Why can't they just be regular kids? From what I've seen, the only times when the reincarnator plotpoint is a thing is when it's just the two of them. And WHY, for the love of the Gods, are they trying to get into the industry that got their mother killed?

Which brings me to point two: the characters. Now, I'll admit, I only know the basic three characters from how far I got into the series, those being Ai, Aquamarine, and Ruby. The rest of the cast, I only know exist through those aforementioned facebook pages. I get that Ai's suppose to be the cliche 'dead anime mum', but how in the Gods' names does she manage to mix up her children's names? They look nothing alike. And like I mentioned in the previous paragraph, why are her kids trying to get into the industry? The same industry that, might I remind, KILLED THEIR SINGLE MOTHER?! It just makes no damn sense to me (but then again, here I am, bitching about an anime I've only grazed the surface of).

And finally, the last point I want to bring up: the artstyle. There's something... uncanny about it. I'm honestly not sure what it is, or whether it's deliberate on the artist's part, but I just... can't with it. Maybe that's the point, since one of the early lines is about how being an idol is 'living a lie', but when I look at any character, even Aqua in his previous life, I just cannot connect with them. I know the argument to that would be 'they're drawings, dude', but even in shows with such stylised styles (Madoka Magica, for instance), they use their artstyle well, and for shows like, say, the Fate/Stay Night movies by UFOtable, sure it looks 'realish' but there's enough fantasy and exaggerated style to offset that. Oshi no Ko, however, somehow feels like it exists in an anime equivalent to the uncanny valley, where the characters manage to look flat, while the eyes pop the most. Somehow, the characters just don't feel engaging.

Okay. Rant over. Only problem is that there's going to be a second season, and I'll have to deal with all this all over again.

[milf-harrington]

SO WHAT HAPPENED WAS AT DINNER, MY MOM AND DAD WERE TALKING ABOUT A BOOK SERIES THEY'D BEEN READING, THEY EVENTUALLY ASK ME (WELL KNOWN AVID READER) WHAT I'VE BEEN READING RECENTLY. HERE'S THE THING. I HAVE NOT READ A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF PUBLISHED BOOKS IN YEARS. WE'RE LUCKY IF I GET TWO BOOKS IN SIX MONTHS, I STILL READ A LOT (ALTHOUGH STILL NOT AS MUCH) IT'S JUST FANFIC, SO I SAY, OH I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T REALLY READ MUCH LATELY", BC MOST OF THE BOOKS I READ THEY RECOMMEND TO ME SO I CAN'T LIE AND SAY ONE OF THOSE BC THEY'LL ASK ME ABOUT IT, AND I CAN'T EVEN SAY SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T READ BC THEY'LL ALSO ASK ME ABOUT IT, SO YEAH, I SAY I HAVEN'T READ MUCH LATELY, AND THEY KNOW AND HAVE KNOWN THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN AS BIG A READER AS I USED TO BE AND THEY'RE KINDA CONCERNED, SO MY DAD'S LIKE, "WELL WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHEN YOU'RE IN YOUR ROOM ALL DAY? BC I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SPENDING HOURS SCROLLING TO THE ENDS OF THE INTERNET ON YOUR PHONE" (SAID IN A TONE THAT SAYS "THAT BETTER NOT BE WHAT YOU'RE DOING") BUT SEE. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING. I SPEND HOURS STRAIGHT ON TUMBLR. BUT TECHNICALLY, I SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT, AND ALSO, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA, SO I CANNOT ADMIT TO BEING ON TUMBLR AND EVEN IF I DON'T MENTION TUMBLR I CAN'T ADMIT THAT I'VE BEEN ON THE INTERNET FOR HOURS BC A. STILL NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. AND B. I KNOW I'LL GET ASKED WHAT I'M EVEN DOING ON THE INTERNET FOR HOURS BC WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE OCCUPYING MY ATTENTION THAT LONG. SO I KNOW THEY KNOW I READ FANFICTION. BC I FOUND FANFICTION BACK WHEN I WAS 11 AND STILL ACTUALLY LISTENED TO THE RULES THEY SET FOR ME, SO WHEN I WANTED A FF.NET ACCOUNT I DID AS THEY'D TOLD ME AND ASKED THEM BEFORE SIGNING UP FOR ANYTHING. SO I KNOW THEY KNOW AND IT'S A LAST RESORT. SOMETHING THEY'RE OK WITH THAT JUSTIFIES HOURS IN MY ROOM BUT NOT READING A NORMAL BOOK. SO EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T READ AS MUCH FANFIC LATELY EITHER AND THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT WHAT I SPENT FOUR HOURS DOING, THAT'S WHAT I SAY. I QUIETLY ADMIT: "I'M STILL READING A LOT, IT'S JUST NOT REGULAR BOOKS" AND MY DAD IS A DICK SO HE'S LIKE "OH? WHAT ARE YOU READING" (HE KNOWS. THAT MOTHERFUCKER KNOWS. BC HE'S TEASED ME ABOUT READING FANFIC BEFORE I KNOW HE STILL REMEMBERS I DO THAT EVEN THOUGH I WISH THEY'D FORGET) THERE'S NO WAY TO ESCAPE THIS BC I TRY NOT TO ANSWER BUT THEY WON'T LET ME CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON ANYTHING AND BEING QUIET ONLY DELAYS THE INEVITABLE SO I SAY "FANFICTION" AND THEN. MY DAD'S LIKE "OH WHAT IS IT FANFICTION FOR?" MOTHERFUCKER. SHITHEAD. YOU KNOW I ALREADY HATE TALKING ABOUT MY INTERESTS. YOU KNOW THAT HATRED INCREASES THE MORE "NERDY" OR NICHE THE INTEREST GETS. WE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED WELL BEFORE THIS POINT. AGAIN. NO WAY OUT OF THIS, EVEN THOUGH I'M STARING AT THE TABLE SILENTLY BEGGING HIM TO JUST PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER HIMSELF BC JUST LAST WEEKEND HE TOOK ME TO A CONVENTION WHERE I GOT THREE ST COMICS SO I KNOW HE KNOWS I'M STILL FIXATED ON IT. BUT NOPE. NO WAY OUT. SO I SAY. "STRANGER THINGS" THIS SHOULD BE THE END OF IT, HE WON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYMORE DETAILS, AT THIS POINT I HAVE LIKE 7 BITES LEFT OF MY DINNER, I CAN SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! ONE MORE QUESTION. "IS THE STRANGER THINGS FANFICTION PROLIFIC" IDK WHY HE ASKED THIS, BUT EASY QUESTION. "YEAH, YEAH IT IS" THEN MY BABY SISTER NEEDS HELP IN THE BATHROOM SO HE GETS UP AND I'M TRYING TO HURRY AND FINISH MY BAKED POTATO, HE COMES AND SITS BACK DOWN, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA DROP IT AND I HAVE A BITE LEFT, SO I FINISH IT. I GET UP, I'M IN THE DOORWAY, ALMOST HOME FREE!! BUT THEN. (1/2 I hit character limit)

I am on the edge of my fucking seat