#i'll fight this dynamic with everything I got

[jmlascar]

any time i see gifs for the falcon/winter soldier show and am reminded that bucky will never see steve again. it makes me. so sad :( 

[soft4gguk]

"boyfriend of my dreams" pt. 3

Pairing: jungkook x reader

Genre: college au. pwp. smut. strangers to lovers (or are they?)

Word count: 8.6k

Warnings: . angst, angst, angst :(, oc mean agenda (pls dont give up on her yet!!!), jungkook truly best boy, oral (m. receiving), fingering, lil dry humping, protected sex!, multiple orgasms, aftercare *sobs* want him so bad y'all.

Author’s note: I loved writing this. I got so immersed in it and I couldn't stop. I love this jungkook and I love their dynamic, even if it literally pains me to write it sometimes. I listened to my ultimate sad Taylor swift songs playlist whilst writing this. and 'this love' played on loop more times than I'll admit - but you'd have to read to know just how much. thank u for being here, I appreciate it more than I'll ever be able to say. I love u guys sm. <3333 xx & loads of o's.

This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x

pt. 3

Jungkook’s head spins – he can quite literally feel the heaviness that comes with it, and it engulfs his entire body in that hazy feeling. His head hits the wall, eyes closing as his chest heaves, running a hand through his hair. You don’t waste any time, too desperate to feel his skin on yours, fingers skimming up his thighs. Your bottom lip gets caught between your teeth as they inch closer to the waistband of his grey sweatpants. You haven’t touched him yet, so it’s unclear to you if he’s hard, but the outline of his cock through the thin material makes your mouth water. It’s when you hook your fingers inside the elastic that Jungkook’s eyes snap open, looking down at you. You’re looking at him, a darkened gaze adorning your pretty eyes and even with the slight touch of your knuckles at his hipbone, you’re driving him crazy enough to almost not question this whole thing.

Almost. 

“Wait, wait…” his voice is gentle, soft.

“What?”

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why he stopped you, or what he wants to say. All he knows is that there’s a franticness about your actions that doesn’t feel quite right to him. Like you’re running from something that would be too uncomfortable to walk on. 

“Are you- is everything okay?” Is all he can muster instead.

“I was just about to give you head, and you stopped me to small talk. I think I should be asking you that.”

You get up from your kneeling position on the floor, ego clearly bruised as you cross your arms in front of your chest – an act that seems childish to Jungkook and it’s then he’s glad he stopped you. 

“I’m sorry. I- fuck. I want you to- do that. Very much so. It’s just… I don’t get you, ___.”

“What do you want to get? What is there to get?” You grow exasperated, eyes avoiding his. 

“I don’t know, that���s the thing. Do you want to come in?”

“No.”

“Okay,” he says, sounding apologetic. His voice holds a world of patience that you could never hold, or have received, in your life. “We can talk here.”

“I don’t want to talk, to be honest. So, in that case, I better get going.” You turn around, still fighting yourself so as not to look at him. So as not to meet his eyes. it’s a combination of embarrassment and that same lingering feeling that you can’t quite put words on. That feeling you don’t intend on putting words on.

“You’re gorgeous. And funny. Even if it makes you a little mean sometimes. I’ve wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you-”

You interrupt him, your piercing gaze landing on his tender one. “When? When I was trying to fuck your best buddy?”

“No. I, uh, first saw you at a party. At Yoongi’s I’m pretty sure.”

“So, what was it?”

“What do you mean?”

“What did they say to make you want me?”

“I- it wasn’t like that.”

You’re not getting anywhere with this conversation. At least nowhere that you find useful anyways. You didn’t come here to talk about feelings, much less the root of them. You sigh, rolling your eyes and feigning defeat. 

Your strategy changes.

“Listen, I came here because I owe you one.” There’s a hint of a smile playing at your lips.

“It doesn’t work like that,” he says.

“Okay, then. It’s just simple generosity. I want to fuck you. I can’t get it out of my head, so might as well get it out of my system.”

His eyes widen – it shocks him to hear you say it so bluntly like that. 

“I-”

You take a step closer to him. “Jungkook?”

“Yeah?”

“I changed my mind. I do want to come in,” your voice is sultry and he knows you’re playing. He knows you don’t want to ‘come in’ to talk, like he propositioned the first time. He’s also aware that he should do better, stand his ground. Be smarter than this. But, 

He nods. 

Your lips are on his and you kiss him exactly the way he wants you to. Slow and deep, coaxing him into it before your tongue is grazing his bottom lip as he parts his mouth, granting you entrance as your tongues meet. 

“This is all I could think about,” you say, lips never parting from his. Your tone is sensual and it buzzes electricity all through his body. “Ever since you left my car, all I could think about was kissing you.”

He doesn’t know if you’re being genuine. More so, he doesn’t know if it’s your heart or your body speaking. With the way your chest flushes to his, a little moan escaping your mouth at the feel of his taut muscles grazing your nipples, he figures it’s probably the latter. 

“Yeah?” he says, brain too foggy with lust.

“Yeah- I want you so bad.” It’s a whisper.

“Fuck.”

He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you to him. You give a little jump, wrapping your legs around his waist, holding tightly to him, wanting to feel him everywhere. He walks backwards, his free hand squeezing your ass from underneath your skirt. It’s so short, granting him easy access as he kneads the flesh. You’re soft and plump all over and now he’s the one moaning into your mouth. 

The back of his knees hit the couch and he lowers his body, sitting down with you still on top of him, straddling his lap. You let out a giggle, giddy and excited. Pleased from getting exactly what you wanted. You grind your hips tentatively against his, emitting a hiss that passes through his reddened lips. They’re so red and pretty from your kisses and bites; you let yourself stare at him, basking in the way his eyes fight to stay open. He lets you stare – he lets you look at him, cheeks flushing at your intense gaze but suddenly confident, so different like this. You circle your hips and a raspy moan leaves him, fingers digging into your hips, head hitting the back of the couch and eyes shutting close. It feels so good, even through the layers, and the mere idea of being inside you drives him wild. 

“Jungkookie,” you say, voice low. 

“Hm,” he says, eyes back to you. 

“I’m gonna blow you now.”

“Shit,” he hisses through gritted teeth. “Yeah- yes. Please.”

You palm the center of his chest, pushing him back with enough force to snap him into the moment. You make your way down, kneeling before him, sitting pretty between his legs, thighs thick and strong on your fingers and you feel your mouth water at the anticipation. Not wanting to waste any more time, your fingers hook inside the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling down. He’s not wearing anything under and you have to fight the urge not to roll your eyes – this time from pleasure, not annoyance. 

His palms push into the couch, fighting his pleasure to keep his eyes open so he can take you in – take you in through every step of the way. The moment his sweatpants come past his hips, your eyes zero in on his cock. He’s big and you don’t fight it when your eyes widen at the sight of him. But beyond that, he’s hard and pretty. Probably the prettiest in your book, a vein running from base to tip, leaking a bead of precum. He hisses the moment you wrap your hand around him, so overwhelmed from the feeling it almost feels like he’s running away from you, sinking into the couch further. He feels hot and heavy in your hold and you give a tentative stroke, gaze locked on his as you let out a little scoff. 

“You know, Jungkook…,” you start. “You don’t necessarily carry yourself in relation to your attributes.”

You’re using big words on him and he’d be lying if he said he was following. All he can think of is how warm and soft your hand feels wrapped around his cock, the way your lips move as you speak – red and plump, and he burns in anticipation thinking about how they’re going to look wrapped around him. 

“W-what do you mean?”

You don’t answer his question right away, taking him by surprise as you lower your head and wrap your pretty lips around his tip, tongue coming out to tease his slit before circling his head, eyes never leaving him. His eyes widen for a second before his lust wins the race, tightly shutting them close as he throws his head back in pleasure with a throaty moan. You take him all the way in, a quick motion that has him hitting the back of your throat and it feels so fucking good, Jungkook swears he’ll never feel this way again. His hand wraps around your neck, looking up at you with hazy eyes. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, his teeth releasing the plumpness of his bottom lip.  

You smile, pleased with yourself as you grant him pleasure, mouthful of him still as you say, “your cock is so big.”

It’s filthy. Your words, the fact that you still have him in your mouth, drool dripping down your chin and eyes watery. Your words vibrate against him and it makes his cock throb, a whine passing his lips. 

“Thanks,” is all he can manage.

“You’re welcome,” you say – another lusty smile his way. You’re so pretty like this. Scratch that, you’re so pretty always, but the image before him ticks all the boxes of the most epic wet dream he’d ever had. Fuck, it’s so good he doesn’t even think his imagination ever ran this wild. 

You resume, tongue traveling upwards as it follows that vein, it pulses for you, encouraging you to go lower, your throat closing around the head of his cock. His hand travels to your cheek as he moans, caressing softly – a little impatiently, like he’s trying to ground himself. Your name leaves his lips in a whisper as you continue your obliterating pace, the noises filling the space lewdly. 

His head draws back and his teeth sink into the pink flesh just as your tongue licks tentatively at his frenulum, the overpowering sensations making him hiss, balls feeling heavy at the wake of his pleasure. Your eyes never leave him, catching every single face he makes, every single noise you pull out of him with ease. It’s turning you on, how receptive he is – easy and malleable in your hands. Your mouth releases him with a pop, your fist tight around his shaft as you jerk him. Your lips travel to his balls, his big round eyes widening even further as you suck one into your mouth, carefully rolling it with your tongue. He groans, hips involuntarily fucking into your hand, seeking speed. You grant it, hand going faster, your thumb teasing his slit on the upstroke. 

Your tongue hits sweet spots he’d never imagine would illicit such reaction from him, let alone strip him of all inhibitions. You suck between his balls, your mouth gentle but firm as your tongue sneaks out to lick a thick stripe all the way up his shaft before you’re enclosing your lips around him once again. His balls feel tight, tummy sinking at the feeling as his legs begin to shake. You encourage this reaction by sinking your nails in his thighs, leaving a trail of red marks on his skin. 

“F-fuck. Slow- slow down,” he hisses, bottom lip trembling to the rhythm of his fingers on your cheek. 

“Why?” You tease, eyes feigning innocence. 

“I’m gonna cum if you keep going like that- fuck,” his words drag with the way your tongue circles his tip, his gaze locked on the sensuality of the action, the way you make sure he’s watching. You look a mess, so fucked out already and he catches a tear that falls from your eyes, his thumb gentle on your skin. 

“And what’s so wrong with that, Jungkookie? Hm?”

“I want to fuck you.” Not an ounce of hesitation in his voice as he keeps scanning your face, gaze dancing from your eyes to your lips, indecisive on where to look. 

It makes your pussy throb, to hear him talk like that. You smirk, holding onto his thighs as you push yourself off from your kneeling position on the floor, landing right back into his lap as you straddle him once again. 

“Yeah,” you sigh dreamily, searching for his lips, nails running down his scalp. “Yeah, I want you to fuck me.” Your words get lost in the kiss, but the way he touches you lets you know you’ve made yourself clear.  His hands snake under the thin fabric of your top, holding onto your waist; his touch is firm yet doesn’t lack that tenderness he often holds, almost timidly making its way up. Your skin is soft under his fingers and he feels the way you shiver, goosebumps forming on your skin. His kiss only deepens, big hands gripping your waist tight, bringing you closer to him before his big hands are cupping your tits. He moans as he feels the plump flesh and the sweet sound makes you buck your hips into his.

Jungkook sighs, feeling bold enough to discard of your top, mouth dropping to your nipple. His wet tongue circling around it once before he sucks, your back arching to give him better access as your grip tightens in his hair, pulling a little, letting him know he’s making you feel good. So good.

“Get me ready,” you pant, but he seems to be too lost in his ministrations. “Get me ready for your fat cock.”

He looks back up at you, kissing you fervently, groaning against your lips as his hand travels down and under that pleated skirt that’s been driving him wild for weeks now. Maybe even months. He feels how wet you are through your panties and he doesn’t hesitate when he sneaks two of his fingers in, coating them in your slick. He teases you a little, putting pressure on your clit before he’s fucking his fingers into you. You get even tighter as you clench around them, moaning into his mouth at the stretch. It feels electric already and he hasn’t even moved. He scissors his fingers inside of you, coaxing your snug walls, getting you ready as you requested. 

Your hand travels down, holding onto his wrist, stalling his move inside of you for a moment. He looks confused, gaze on yours waiting on your next move. You begin to circle your hips, small and sloppy movements over his fingers, fucking yourself on them. You sigh, closing your eyes when you feel the way he hooks his digits inside of you, immediately reaching your sweet spot. 

“Fuck, that’s so hot.” Jungkook’s cock jerks at the sight and you can feel it against your knuckles, hot and heavy – ready for you. 

“I’m so wet, I’m making a mess.” You look down at his hand, glossy and covered in your juices the more you move around. You’re crass with your words, but he can’t help sensing a little bit of suppleness in your tone, like you’re suddenly shy even though your actions scream far from. 

“Don’t care. Want you to make a mess, so fucking bad.” He groans, kissing you again – needier this time. Harsh, hungry. 

“I’m gonna cum.”

He hums against your lips, his free hand coming to hold your hip, stilling your movements as he takes over once more. Fingers pushing where he knows it makes you shudder and whine into his kiss, thumb circling your clit to finish throwing you over the edge. You shake in his hold, soft moans passing your lips, your grip on his wrist tightening, nails digging on his shoulder as you come down. 

“You’re so pretty.” And he wants to leave it at that, because it’s the simple truth. But he adds to the compliment, “when you cum. You’re so fucking pretty when you cum.”

You give him a little smile, it’s lazy and fucked out, your eyes glassy when you finally open them. You don’t answer, opting for kneeling over his lap, his fingers sliding out of you reluctantly, but he recovers quickly when he sees the way you take your panties off on wobbly legs, one after the other. 

“Want me to keep this on?” You ask, toying with the hem of your skirt.

He sighs dreamily, boyish smile on his face as he nods. “Yeah.”

You chuckle, rolling your eyes, feigning annoyance when in reality, you’re loving it. Not just this little filthy exchange, but everything. The noises he makes, his touch on your skin, the words that fall from his lips as he peaks pleasure. It’s doing more to you than just getting it out of your system, and before you can dwell on that thought long enough for it to scare you, you reach for his cock. 

He reaches for the brown bag he managed to throw next to him on the couch, grabbing the box of condoms you brought. It’s hard to focus on opening it with one shaky hand as you jerk him, biting your lip in anticipation. Once he finally manages, he retrieves one of the foil packages, bringing it between his teeth to rip it open. He looks down, mesmerized by the way your small hand barely wraps around him. He hisses when he feels the loss of it and you lean on his thighs to give him space, watching as he rolls the condom on. 

“Come here.”

You oblige, hands landing on his shoulders as you line yourself over him, the tip of his cock accidentally nudging your clit a little, making you whine. He smiles, nudging it again, purposely this time and teasing you with it until you’re squirming and pouting, clenching around nothing. You’re wet, more than ever, but he’s big and you should’ve probably bought lube, too. Then again, you had no idea he was hiding that in his pants, it would’ve been bold of you to assume. Almost like he’s reading your mind, he lets a string of saliva drop to his fingers, bringing it down to your entrance and then coating his cock with the same two fingers and both your juices combined. 

The first stretch burns, sharp and uncomfortably as his swollen tip passes through the tight ring of muscle. You both gasp, consumed in the feeling right away, almost as if the pain wasn’t there because you want more. And so, you brave it, sinking into his cock, inch by inch, mewling at the feeling, tears pricking your eyes. He can see you’re in discomfort, gently holding onto your waist so he can still you, biting his lip so hard when he feels the way you clench around him. Pushing his desire away for a second, he brings you closer to him. He cups your face with his hand, rubbing at your cheek, pecking your lips. He kisses the corner of your mouth, littering the affection all over until his lips are traveling from your jaw all the way to your neck. He kisses on that tender spot that makes you shiver; makes you feel so good and oddly comforted until all you can feel is his wet kisses on your skin. 

You start to move, slowly at first as you bounce on his cock, the whimpers that pass his lips encouraging you until the pain morphs into pleasure and your body instinctively ups the pace. It’s quick, the way your desperation grows. Hands reaching out for him, sinking into his hair, his jaw, the nape of his neck. Your teeth bite into his bottom lip, strong enough to illicit a sharp hiss from him. 

“Fuck, baby,” he pouts, eyes struggling to stay open. He keeps his gaze on you and it’s his dark eyes and a particular sway of your hips that has you whining in pleasure, eyes closing and mouth opening as the feeling takes over you. “Yeah, fuck. So pretty when I make you feel good.” 

“It feels so good, Jungkook.” You find your words, though your head feels foggy, dizzy with the way you can feel your tummy tighten when his hands grab at your ass, squeezing some before he begins to help you move on him. 

He can tell you’re close to tipping, reading your body – the way he’s literally fucking you speechless, which seems to be very contradictory to the way you usually carry yourself. Your cunt has a tight grip around his cock, and he can feel the way it pulses when you sink yourself on him to the brim. You stay there, feeling so full, head dropping to his shoulder as your hand palms your lower tummy and you swear you can feel him there. 

You’ve been riding him slowly, wanting to savour him like this, but your legs feel the burn nonetheless. Not to mention the fact that you’re so overwhelmed, body on high alert, his touch leaving a trail of static behind it. And he knows – he knows because quicker than you can register his movements, he’s flipping you onto your back on the couch. His cock slips out of you and your legs close at the loss of him, making him let out a cocky chuckle. You’d retaliate, but you lose focus when he starts to remove his white oversized shirt, ogling him unapologetically. Your legs fall to your sides, opening yourself for him once again, making him grin. You’d wipe it off his face, bring your hand to your heat and make him falter, muster up a cocky remark – but your own colors fail you, and you smile at him. It’s sweet and Jungkook doesn’t miss it and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart skip inside his heaving chest. You remove your skirt and he follows its path until it hits the floor, eyes then focused on what he wants the most – right in-between your thighs. 

His warm hands run over your thighs slowly and you plea, “don’t tease.”

 “Would never.”

But he does. Grabbing the base of his cock, giving a shallow thrust, wetting the head of his cock before he’s playing with your clit for a moment, making you squirm until he’s fucking into you once again. He repeats this a couple of times, eyes glued to where he teases you, traveling up to see your face break in pleasure. The angle is perfect and every time he sinks into you, he hits that spot, if only for a second before he has you mewling again by circling his tip on your clit. Your head sinks into the couch, fingers playing with your nipples lazily as you focus on what he does to you. 

“I could cum like this if you do it for long enough.” Your tone is airy and he can hear the smile in your voice. 

“Yeah?” His finger travels down, joining his cock as he pushes his digit inside the snug space of your walls for a second, collecting your slick before coating your bundle of nerves with it. You bite on your lip, nodding at him. “You wanna?”

You shake your head, holding onto his hips. “No. I want you to fuck my brains out now. Wanna feel you even after you’re done with me.”

And fuck if that isn’t enough encouragement for him to fall onto you, making you laugh a little as his forearms land on either side of your head, promptly finding his lips and kissing him deep. He moans into the kiss in sheer anticipation, your legs circling around his waist, heels sinking into his ass as you motion for him to move. 

He fucks you deep at first, testing the waters before he’s going faster – a bit harder, too, the more you moan into his ear, bury your nails down his back hard enough for him to wince in pain, pleasure, excitement even. He kisses you where he can, the crook of your neck as he breathes into it, your collarbones when desire wins and he redirects his gaze to where your bodies meet. You search for his lips and he gives them to you, sloppy and messy and wet when your tongues play with one another’s. 

“Fuck- right there, right there. Please don’t stop.”

His hips are angled just right and your legs close around his waist, feeling so close to the edge you sob a little. His face comes up, missing the warmth of your neck already but it’s all worth it when his eyes meet yours, your fucked out face twisted in pleasure. You look so naughty, not an ounce of shame in the way your face depicts a perfect picture in how good he’s fucking you. In how he’s about to make you cum so hard it’s already blinding you. He wants to kiss you but he doesn’t, too enthralled to look away. 

“Fuck, please cum for me. Cum all over my cock, baby. Hm?”

You can only nod, already so close and only pushed further by his words. Another sharp determined thrust and a whine hitches in your throat, tight coil exploding inside of you until your eyes are widening in pleasure, staring right into his as you come undone around him, under him, encased by him. He’s everywhere. Your body jerks in his hold, eyes finally closing as you sink deeper into the bliss, the way he moans with you as he feels you clench around him so tight sounds like music to your ears. 

His own release is not far from yours, mind and movements hazy with lust as he fucks you faster, focused on chasing his high as you whisper filthy praises in his ear. You tell him how good he just made you feel, how hard his cock feels inside of you, his name leaving your lips in the most paradoxical of ways. Sounding too sweet for what follows. 

“Nngh- shit, I’m cumming.” He groans, so close to your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine as you feel the way he throbs inside of you, releasing a second after. 

You let him come down, wait for his breathing to get back to normal, giving yourself a moment to steady yours as well. You don’t notice the way your nails are softly caressing his back, drawing lazy patters on his flushed skin, until he shudders, a soft laugh escaping him as he says, “it tickles.”

That’s when it hits you. Your plan to touch and go crumbling to pieces the moment you realize he’s too close – that he’s been too close this whole time. Not in a physical way, but in a you’re touching more than hands can reach type of way. The kind of sex that fucks with your brain too, not just your body. 

You grunt in discomfort, shoving your shoulders into his own a little. Luckily, he gets the hint. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, coming up to a stand, stretching his neck in the process. He shoots you a smile, asking you if you’re thirsty. You nod, still entranced in your own thoughts and he disappears from your line of vision.

You don’t know why, but you just lay there. You want nothing more than to pick yourself up from his couch, dress yourself and get going. You even had an exit line rehearsed that you came up with on the drive here. 

“You’re welcome for those, by the way. Put them to good use.” Referring to the condoms you’d brought along with you. Fortune. It was simple, cheeky and playful. And most importantly, got the point across – this was not going to happen again. A one-time thing, something you had to get out of your system before you could go back to having normal fuck buddies, flirty relationships with your friends that escalated only when need be. Friendly sex, if you will. Jungkook is not your friend. This thought makes you wince. 

When he comes back, he’s wearing sweatpants that hang too low on his hips and it takes you a while to acknowledge the fact that he’s offering you a glass of water. When you frown at the gesture, his face falls.

“I have juice if you want?”

“What? No. Water’s fine. Thank you.” 

He sits down next to you, watching the way you gulp down the water in a matter of seconds. He smiles, unable to stop himself when his fingers card through your hair that’s fallen victim to your activities. He’s gentle when he unknots the mess at the back of your head. You side eye him, and though his smile drops a little, his fingers don’t. 

You panic, and he can see it in your eyes, frantically searching for something around the room. You notice how tidy his place is, nicely and minimally decorated with neutral colors. It suits him in ways you can’t explain, realizing you don’t know him enough to. 

“Uh, have you seen my shirt?” You ask.

He looks around for a second, shaking his head before he offers, “here, wear mine.”

You only accept because your body’s falling back into its normal temperature, the heat of the moment starting to disappear. It’s big and cozy and it smells like him and very faintly of you. 

“Are you okay?”

His question throws you off, piercing eyes looking at him all of a sudden as you raise a brow. “Me? Why wouldn’t I be?” 

He shrugs. “I don’t know. You seem… distant. I mean, in comparison to-”

“Well, yeah. We were fucking. Now we’re not.”

He laughs softly, even though you didn’t mean for anything you said to sound funny. “Well, yeah. I know but- we can just… ease out of it, you know? It doesn’t have to be so abrupt…”

His hand rests on your thigh, squeezing the flesh a little as he moves closer to you. “Can I kiss you?”

You’re about to quite literally shove your hand in his face and wipe that hazy grin from his face to abruptly jank him out of that post-coital glow he seems to be sporting but you’re hesitant. And it’s in that hesitation that you decide to challenge yourself. If you can kiss Jungkook without this foreign feeling forming inside your chest then perhaps it’d go away permanently. Perhaps all you needed was to indulge in the casualty of the action – to feel pleasure as just that, nothing more. 

And so, you kiss him. A pleasant surprise to say the least, making him smile lazily into the kiss. He’s not quite expecting it when you do, so the little force you put into it sends him falling back into the couch, you following after him. You let your body mold into his, the same way your lips do. You both sigh as your mouths part, his tongue licking at your bottom lip. It’s pleasurable. It feels good – kissing Jungkook feels good and there’s no ulterior motive to it. He’s just a good kisser.  

But then his hand cups your face, traveling down your neck until he’s gently running his fingers through your hair, pushing it back so he can kiss down your shoulder. Soft, tender, relaxing you to the point of incoherency because you let him, smiling and giggling into it when his lips tickle your skin.

“Fuck, that was so good,” he says, throwing his head back into the soft cushion. “I don’t know if it made me sleepy or hungry, or both…” he ponders.

You smile, kissing his jaw, your tongue following your lips as they travel down his neck – mimicking his previous actions. He hums out in pleasure, looking down at you, “are you hungry?”

You look up at him, suddenly lost in his eyes, in your thoughts, in your own pleasure. A pleasure different from the way your body feels pleasure. A pleasure you can’t quite put your finger on. 

“Uh…- I’m kinda… sleepy,” you confess. 

He nods, huffing in agreement before he’s wrapping his arms around you, moving his body to the side a little until you’re entrapped between his embrace and the couch. Your body’s too tired to fight it, ignoring the way your brain short-circuits and it doesn’t take long for his breathing to lull you into a deep sleep. 

When Jungkook wakes up, it’s dark outside. His shirt rests on top of his coffee table, neatly folded. And you’re nowhere to be found. 

~

You’ve kept busy, inevitably so. 

School work suddenly picking up, the urge to start revising for finals swarming your thoughts enough until you’re pulling all-nighters in the private study rooms at the library – isolated and focused. Even more now that it’s become dangerously easy for your thoughts to stray away from your tasks at hand and any situation you find yourself in. They stray far enough to land on him, every single time. On what you did, on how it ended. 

And it’s the latter that swarms your thoughts the most, especially during the night – in bed, trying to shut your brain enough so that you’re able to fall asleep. You think of him, of the way his arms felt wrapped around yours, his chest on yours and how you counted each breath of his until they synced with yours. You think of the way your eyes fluttered open even though your body still felt tired, not quite done with sleep yet, looking up at him, a peaceful look to his face as he snored softly. You almost fought it then, too, but his snores lulled you back to sleep. An unconventional lullaby – one that often annoyed you when and if you ever found yourself sleeping next to someone. His didn’t, and on particular nights you’d confess that you wished it was that same sound that was putting you to sleep, not your fifth ASMR video. 

When you woke up and the heaviness of the night surrounded your bodies, it felt like it settled inside your chest, too. You panicked, staring at him even though you couldn’t make much of his face in the darkness. You attempted to go back to sleep, unsure of the time, giving up on putting up a fight – at least in that very moment. You nuzzled your face on his chest, relishing in his warmth and he sighed, unconsciously pulling you closer. It felt so innocent, so uncorrupted – he looked for you in the deepest of sleeps and it was that notion that did it for you. 

The boy was a heavy sleeper, that was for sure. He flinched at the loss of you, arms stretching around him for a brief second before falling back into deep sleep – uninterrupted. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand, making you wince and taking you out of your head – out of the memories that plague it. Sydney’s calling you and when you pick up the phone, she greets you with a cheery, 

“Hello, stranger of a best friend!” 

You roll your eyes, but give in a moment later, offering a playful laugh. You’ll admit that being so inside your head and focusing on your responsibilities and your responsibilities only has made you quite irritable lately, and distant. 

“Hey, Syd.” 

“Where are you? Come hang – I’ve got snacks, buy me coffee and we’ll watch The Great British Bake-off.”

You ponder on her offer for a minute, already so used to neglecting yourself of the simple pleasures of just… hanging out with your friends. It’s only been a week of this, but the consequences are rough. 

“Iced vanilla latte with caramel, extra sweet?” 

“Ugh, be mine.”

You smile. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she sing-songs. 

You decide to treat her real nice, passing by the packed Starbucks on campus (that’s overrated, in your opinion) and heading towards the cute little food trucks that your university brings out during the warmer months of the year. They’re slightly overpriced but worth every penny, if solely for the aesthetics. Though you will admit, the food is great. The little colourful trucks all align one next to the other – your favorite coffee place, a taco shop, ramen place and the ice cream truck last. Colorful tables scattered all across the green space, good music always playing, chill or upbeat depending on the time of day, making it all seem too good to be located in campus grounds. 

You head straight for the coffee truck, the usual barista shooting you a dazzling smile the moment he spots you. You return it.

“Hey, Kian.” 

“Hey, you. Long-time, no see…” He’s cute in that, ‘and he knows it’ type of way. A true charmer. He’s tried it a couple of times, with you, and Sydney… and Sumi. You respect his boldness if anything. 

“Ugh, I know. I’ve been living in the library, busy bee me.”

“Been cheating on me by getting your caffeine fix from Starbucks?” He cocks a brow playfully.

“Why do you ask if the truth will hurt?” 

He laughs, a little obnoxiously but he pulls it well. “The usual?”

“Yep. Iced Americano and an iced vanilla latte with a pump of caramel, make it extra-”

“Sweet, for sweet Sydney.” He winks and you nod, winking back. 

You watch him work his magic, brewing the coffee as the aroma fills the air, foaming the oat milk until it’s cloudy. He makes one hell of a good coffee; you’ll give him that much. You feel giddy all of a sudden, the fresh spring air doing wonders for you already, surprised over how something so mundane as a cup of coffee and a harmless conversation with the cute barista can switch your mood for the better. You smile and Kian catches it, smiling at you for a second before he’s back to excellent coffee making. 

“You’re making me nervous, ___.” He says, half playfully and half sincerely when he sees the way you eye him. 

You raise your hands in defeat, laughing and turning around. “Okay, okay. I’ll just… stare at the-”

Your gaze doesn’t linger, snapping your face back at Kian faster than you can register what you just saw. He just thinks you’re being funny, laughing at the abruptness of your actions. But that doesn’t last either, temptation too strong to beat it, that curiosity that keeps landing you in trouble.

Jungkook.

He sits in one of the tables in front of the ice cream truck, sweet treat in hand that very well goes with the sweet smile he holds, nodding and cocking his head sweetly at the girl that sits right in front of him in the same bench. Their legs are at either side of it and their knees touch. You can’t see her face, but she’s holding a cone, two scoops of pistachio ice cream in it. You know because it’s your favorite. And because you’re a cone person, too. He isn’t, from the looks of it. He also likes mint choco, adding insult to injury. 

The wind blows all of a sudden, in heavy contrast to the heat of the season that was in full bloom only a couple of seconds ago. His hair falls right in front of his eyes, mid ice cream bite, making him shake his head to attempt (and fail) to clear his vision. You see the way she shakes her shoulders, laughing, before her fingers gently push away the fallen strands on his forehead. He smiles through his spoon, big and toothy and sweet. It’s sweet. She’s sweet, and so is he. They’re sweet. 

Your gaze must be piercing because in a matter of seconds his eyes are on yours. You divert your eyes quickly, but you can see the way his eyes go back to her, following the conversation as he nods in acknowledgement. 

“Whatever,” you mumble to yourself, mostly. 

Curiosity wins yet again and when you turn his way, for a brief second, he’s telling her something before both their eyes are on you. She nods at him and right on cue, he’s standing up, making his way towards you. 

Kian places the two coffee cups in front of you, in perfect timing. Will you run? Absolutely. Is it childish? Absolutely. But you don’t owe him anything, really. Let alone explanations. Why even acknowledge your presence? In the middle of a date, too. How rude of him! You also know this is a lie – knowing him, he was even polite about that. 

“Thank you, Ki-”

“Hey, listen… I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while,” Kian begins, his words sluggish, making you anxious as you bounce in your step. “I’m in a band.”

“Oh?” You press.

“Yeah… we’re like, indie. Pretty chill. But one day… oh, man. One day we will be huge!”

“Don’t have a doubt! Godspeed, Kian.” 

You’re about to turn around and, well, run. But God, and Kian, has other plans. Laughing, he says, “I’ve been meaning to invite you girls to come watch us play and stuff. That’d be dope. We have a show this Saturday and I’d really like for you to come; I’ll even sing one for you and everything.” 

You’re perplexed for some reason, but agreeing is quicker than making up some lame excuse so you nod your head, “Sur-”

“Hey, ___.” 

~

Lola called; she didn’t text. She sounded nervous and a bit on edge, stuttering a little on her words, engaging him in small talk before she managed to gather enough courage to ask him out. For ice cream, as she’d promised. 

“I’m free today,” but she immediately regretted it, afraid she’d sounded too pushy. “But we can do it whenever! It doesn’t have to be today. It can be tomorrow-” pushy, again, she thought. “Or next wee-”

“Actually, today sounds nice. Been studying all day, could really use a break… you up for it?” He said, even though she’d clearly just stated she was. It made her relax and he could hear it in her voice. 

“I’d love that, Jungkook.”

He knew this was going to be good for him, fresh air and a potentially nice conversation with a nice girl. She was sweet, had been texting him random sweet messages ever since their conversation in the library weeks ago. Made sure to ask about his day and got excited when he asked about hers. 

They’d met outside of the library and she’d greeted him with a hug and already, it felt nice. He was glad with his decision. He’d hibernated and isolated himself, skipping Tuesday game night and only interacting with his friends during practice and in the hallways, always in a rush getting from one class to the other. He knew why, but he couldn’t quite explain it. He only knew it had a name – your name, to be more precise. But how could he explain that? How could he explain you? 

You hadn’t broken Jungkook’s heart, but you sure had it confused. Lost and quite stubborn, wanting answers and refusing to let go until he got them. It wasn’t in his shy nature to insist, to seek out answers that could very well hurt him, or even tempt discomfort… but nonetheless, he wanted to know. He wanted to know why you just… left. He wanted to know why you even came in the first place. You’d been quite adamant in the soccer field, owning the place and stepping on his spirits, telling him not only would your previous exchange had to be secret but also that it wouldn’t be repeated. Then, mere days later, it wasn’t only repeated but intensified. Just adding layers to the enigma he’d build around you. 

But was it him? Was it all in his head? Was he simply idealizing your actions, justifying them, even if they went strongly against your words? Was he in the wrong for second guessing when that’s all you’d left for him to do? 

So, he spent his days going to class, to practice, late nights at the gym before heading for even later nights at the library. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it so he just let it eat at him from the inside out, distracting himself with whatever he could. 

Lola wasn’t a distraction. She deserved better than that, so he made sure to let himself go of… the thought of you, even if for a brief ice cream run. And truth be told, it was presenting itself to be easier than he originally thought, to just enjoy and be in the moment. With her. Just her, in front of him and in his head. 

“Listen, I have nothing against mint choco…,” she says, words in-between giggles as he playfully narrowed his eyes at her.

“But…?” 

“But it’s more of a, ‘in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s whilst you cry your eyes out watching The Notebook even though you can’t quite relate because you’re not heartbroken enough but oh is it good to indulge’ type of way. You know?” 

This makes Jungkook smile, the two of them breaking out in laughter at her rather personal confession. “Oddly enough, I know what you mean… a little.”

“Only a little?”

“Yeah, can’t speak from experience but, it sounds like it makes sense.”

“Maybe that can be our next ice cream date…” she’s shy around her words, breaking eye contact, gaze traveling down to fixate elsewhere.

“Yeah,” he says, making her look up, a smile that reaches her green eyes. “I’ll put your theory to the test…”

A gust of wind flies directly at them, her hair blowing all over the place and his bangs landing on top of his face, making her giggle at his confused expression, looking a little dumbstruck with a spoonful of ice cream sitting between his teeth. Lola thinks he’s cute – everything about him. Her fingers are a little shaky but she manages, pushing his bangs away from his forehead, big eyes coming to view once again. The tip of her finger gently grazes against his forehead and he blinks slowly. Butterflies swarm her tummy, wanting him to kiss her so bad and hopeful he just might. 

His eyes seem a little lost for a second before he’s smiling at her once again. Her spirits deflate a little but she smiles back.

“Hey, uh… I see my friend,” he says, pointing at your direction. He doesn’t want to lie to her but he doesn’t let much of the truth to come out either. She turns around, eyes catching yours for a brief second before you turn around. You’re pretty and she has a feeling she’s seen you before. 

“Oh…”

“Haven’t been able to reach her and there’s something I have to tell her,” that’s a lie, Jungkook doesn’t even have your number. He sees the way Lola’s face falls a little. He lies, and he hates it. “It’s no biggie, just passing a message. We’ve got friends in common. It’ll be a minute, yeah?”

She smiles again, feeling a little relieved. “Yeah, sure. Don’t worry about it.” 

He smiles and she feels hopeful. 

~

“Hey.” It’s all you say, a tight-lipped smile his way before you’re turning back to Kian, with all the intention of fleeting the scene, coffees in hand. 

“So, you’ll come?” Kian asks, making Jungkook curious, even though he knows he shouldn’t be. He has no right, anyways.

“Sure. Text me the address!”

“But I don’t have your number,” he says, pouting a little obnoxiously.

“DM me on insta!” 

He thinks for a second. “I don’t have that either…”

“It’s just my name!” 

The second he nods, you turn around, casually walking away from the mess you found yourself in. 

Jungkook speed walks a little after you, and you can feel his presence behind you. 

“Hey,” he reaches for your arm, making you turn around, a scowl to your face that makes him wince a little. He takes a step back, not wanting to invade your personal space. “Uh… can we- can we talk? Please?”

You decide to play it cool. “Sure. Talk.” The smile on your face doesn’t quite meet your eyes.

And the truth is, Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to talk to you about. Since you left him that day, he’s thought about close to a million things he’d want to tell you, ask you, have you tell him, but now that you’re in front of him, kind of willing… he’s out of ideas. 

So, he just opts for the easiest one. “Why did you leave… that day we- yeah.”

“Why would I have stayed?” You ask him, like it’s obvious. A little rhetorical even.

“You didn’t- I mean, if you wanted to leave, of course. You just didn’t say goodbye or anything…” his voice is calm, and this makes you even more anxious. Something that feels awfully like guilt settling right in your chest.

“You were sleeping.”

He gives you a knowing look, like both you and him know that’s not really the reason why you left, let alone the answer to his question.

“Listen, that conversation we had in the soccer field that one time… it still stands, okay? Nothing has changed.” You say.

“Only it has? You came to me. And we had sex. So… yeah, something has changed. If only the facts, but… something.”

You roll your eyes at him, crude and exasperated at this point. “Fine. We fucked. I was curious, had to burn out that curiosity. That’s all. Factual. Nothing has changed, in theory.”

“You were curious?” He says, in slight disbelief. 

“Yeah.”

“I get that but,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, looking for the right words. “But I’m not just…- something that you can use to, appease your curiosity… I guess.” He’s unsure of his own words, knowing he sounds hurt and so very out of your left field because that’s what you’re used to. Bodies, not people. To appease instant gratification. And he wishes he could be just that if only to not have you look at him the way you are now, slightly regretful and shocked at his words. 

“I apologize, won’t happen again – trust me.”

“No,” he reaches out for you once again when you turn to leave. “That’s not what I meant.” 

“But that’s all I wanted. Considered it done on my part. I wanted to know and now I do. And I’ve closed chapter – you should, too. It meant nothing, Jungkook.”

He can only stare at you, trying to process your words – making mental fucking laps around it as if to keep it from reaching his heart. As if to try to pretend your words don’t hurt.

You sigh. “Listen, I’m sorry. I mistook the situation, you’re not… that type of guy, and I guess I am that type of girl. If I sent mixed signals then, I hope this makes it clear. It was a mistake, so… sorry, I guess.”

When he says nothing, just gives you a weak nod, you give him another one of your characteristic smiles. Those that he often gets when he finds himself in these situations with you, this one by the far the hardest. It’s so different from the smiles you’d given him the last time it was just the two of you, alone. Fulfilling your curiosities. 

But your curiosities have a name and explanation: lust. No last name, no need to elaborate.

He watches you leave, feeling like he’s just been punched in the gut. 

Or the heart.

What the hell does he know, really. 

~

I'd give jungkook one million hugs. pls :((((. im sorry kookie. I hope u guys enjoyed this!!! do let me know if u did, let's talk - I miss u a ton. love u. xxxxx <3333

★taglist★

@yoongimentita7 @lil-sracha @angelicalhoney @sfneyjsjgyjdyndhndyn @ppeachyttae @rockinpretty @mwitsmejk @bruisedscrewedandtattooed @rhaegaled @ruclements @mctete @oopsthi @ellesalazar @kpopssuregi @eonninja @cambo-backwards @jiimiinsii @jalexad @primadonnasdream @suzysuee @carolsummerlove @kokoandkookie @tbzhub @chimswae @bbtsficrecs @mschievous247

let me know if u wanna be added <3

[maloskiworld]

Believe in you - Pierre Gasly / Charles Leclerc

MASTERLIST (requests are open!)

Summary : Growing up surrounding by the F1 world, you wanted to be a part of it as a photographer. But doubts filled your mind.

Warnings : childhood best friend Charles, boyfriend Pierre. A bit of language, panic attack

Words count : +3.3K words

A/N : Thanks to the person that requested this, it was nice to write. Sorry for the delay. Hope you still wanna read this. Enjoy🌻

I'm taking care of all the requests I've receive, it will all be up, don't worry !!

PS : English isn’t my first language, so sorry if there’s any mistakes ! 💙

not my gif, credits to the owner (i love them together 🥺)

🌻🌻🌻

"What's up ?", Charles asked you, jumping on your couch.

You just got back from London, where you were taking your classes. As soon as you put a feet in your flat in Monaco, the Ferrari driver joined you.

You and Charles were best friends since the day you were born. Both of your families were really close. Charles took you everywhere he went. That's how you met Pierre. On the karting track, Charles presented you his 'other best friend'. Soon enough, you all became an inseparable trio. It didn't take you long to fall in love with the blond boy. But it took longer for the both of you to actually confess your feelings and start dating. It was only a few months back. Your new romantic dynamic was still a little weird, and the both of you were still getting used to it. Being Pierre's lover was a dream come true, and sometimes it felt unreal to you.

"I'm fine. You ?", you simply told him, fatigue taking the best out of you.

"Really chatty", he laughed. "The car is amazing this year, I'm finally fighting for the title. It's everything I've always wanted", Charles told you, stars in his eyes. He got podiums on podiums. Same for Pierre, still in his Alpha Tauri but he was doing miracles with it. The both of them were doing great. You were proud of them, but stil felt out of your place. You weren't going anywhere. They were living their best life, and you were struggling to do the bare minimum.

"How's uni ?", he kept asking, unaware of your stare into space. Tears managed to fall from eyes as soon as uni was mentioned.

"It's great", you didn't dare to look at him, a knot forming in your throat.

"Don't you have like an internship soon ?", Charles wondered, poking you with his fingers. You stayed silent.

"Can I have a little bit of attention ? I didn't saw you for a whole month, and Pierre will be there tomorrow and he's gonna take you away from me!", the young boy pleaded.

"Sorry, I'm really tired. The trip was rough", you explained. "I do have an internship. It's starting next week, for a few GPs. I'll be with the Ferrari photographer"

"What ?", Charles screamed happily. "You'll be there for the italian GP and more ? And in my fucking garage ?", he was now shouting.

You simply nodded. Charles crushed you with all his weight while giving you a hug. You returned the warm gesture shyly. You weren't in the mood to celebrate that.

"Are you staying here until then ?", he questioned you.

"Yeah, I'll stay in Monaco. I need a little break from London, too rainy", you tried to joke.

"That's freakin amazing. I can't wait to have you taking pictures of me for the next races", the monegasque said while laying back on the couch, a resting smile on his face.

"It is alright if I go to bed ? I know I just got home and we didn't see each other much but I'm going to pass out if I don't get my hours of sleep right now", you tried to explain.

"No prob, it's alright. I'm on my way out. Call me tomorrow, I wanna be part of your plans", he winked (well attempted to) and left your flat.

You sighed. You loved Charles, but you didn't want to be with anyone right now. You felt heavy, like a useless burden.

The next morning, you woke up feeling a dip in your bed. You frowned, still hazy from sleep.

"Hey there", you heard in your ear. You smiled lightly, recognizing the voice you'd die for.

"Hi, I wasn't excepting you until this afternoon", you curled up in his strong arms.

"I took the airplane earlier, I couldn't wait to see you. Charles spoiled the big news", Pierre said, leaving kisses on top of your head.

You sighed. You juste woke up and everything was bringing you back to the nightmare you were living and trying to avoid. You choose not to answer, pretending to close your eyes again. Pierre noticed your behavior but kept his mouth closed. You fell back asleep in the french boy arm's.

You woke up again a few minutes later, alone in the bed. You heard laughters in the living room, guessing Charles joined the party.

"Hey", you said entering the room.

"Well rested ? You okay ?", Charles asked you, referring to the awful mood you were yesterday.

"As long as no one mentions uni or my internship, I'll be happy", you told them, going to take a sip of the coffee Pierre made for you. It was their turn to frown. Both of them felt something was wrong, but they knew you. If they asked or forced you to talk, you would close up like an oyster. Talking to a wall would be easier.

Pierre just decided to hug you from behind.

"I've missed you so much, darling", he whispered.

"It's a nightmare to live without you", you replied, voice as low.

"Let's enjoy the next days, shall we ?"

"I am here, Charles is sitting on the couch. I repeat you two aren't alone", the monegasque said, looking disgusted.

You bursted out of laughter, and both boys were relieved to see you relax.

The trio of you enjoyed the few days off the drivers had. It went by so fast. The italian GP was just around the corner.

"Fly with me tonight", Pierre said while packing his small Alpha Tauri suitcase.

"Oh I wanted to stay in Monaco. They don't need me until saturday, I don't wanna be too early", you explained poorly to the french boy, avoiding his touch or his eyes.

"You don't have to be in the Ferrari garage, you'll stick with me", he answered.

"Yeah, no, I know. But for the hotel-"

"I live in Italy, love, remember ? You're not going in a hotel. I want you with me", Pierre cut you, with a stern voice.

You gulped loudly. You didn't want to start your internship. You didn't want to go to a GP for work. You didn't want to bother Pierre, or Charles.

"I'm taking a shower", you just said. You knew Pierre figured out that you were crying. To be honest, you couldn't care less. You were tired, mentally and physically. It was all too much for you.

You took a hot shower, cried for the most of it, and went to rest on your bed.

"I'm leaving", you heard Pierre say softly. You hummed, tears joining your eyes again. You didn't want him to leave, but you didn't want him to stay. You were a mess, and he was in peace, finally having a good season. He needed to stay away from you.

"You're not even going to kiss me ?", his voice was sad, maybe even disappointed.

"I think I'm sick. I don't want to infect you before the GP", you said, voice as low as a whisper.

"Bullshit", he murmured, loud enough for you to acknowledge. His footsteps were echoing in your flat, and suddenly the door closed brutally.

Pierre was mad at you. That wasn't your goal. Lately, you just felt like shit. You had struggle to keep up in uni, and feared you weren't good enough to be a F1 photographer. You were going to fail, and you knew it. It tore you appart to know that the two boys you loved the most would watch you on your fall out. They were going to be so disappointed of you. They were going to let you down. Who would want to hang out with a failure ? Especially when you're on top of the world ?

Your dark thoughts didn't gave you a minute of rest. You locked yourself inside your flat, staying in bed all day. Charles tried to call you, but you didn't answer. Pierre had probably already giving up on you.

During a night, around 3 am, you had a panic attack, it took you so long to calm yourself down. You couldn't managed to go back to sleep. You didn't know what to do so you texted Pierre.

Y/N : are you up ?

Surprisingly, Pierre replied to you almost immediately.

Pierre : yeah

Y/N : you were great at practice today

Pierre : i'm surprised you watched it

Pierre : it felt like you didn't gave a fuck

Pierre : not about the race, but about me

Pierre : i mean if you cared, you'd be there right ?

His words twisted a knife in your chest. That was the moment, he had enough of you.

Sadly, it was already saturday. You took a room in a hotel, you knew Pierre didn't want you around, especially after the texts. You managed to get ready for the morning.

You entered the paddock, your whole body tensed. Charles spotted you and ran to you.

"The fuck is going on with you ?", he went straight to the point, not wasting time with small talks. You shrugged your shoulders. Your internship supervisor called you, and you left without saying a word. Leaving the Ferrari driver standing like a dumbass.

"Y/N, it's so nice to meet. Your professor only told me good about you. We're going to be a great team together", he said. You smiled shyly, anxiety taking the control of you.

You stayed in his shadow for the following minutes. The drivers were getting ready for quali.

"Hey, Y/N, your turn to take some pictures", Marc, your supervisor, said, giving you the camera.

You took it, but your hands were shaking so bad. In this state, you wouldn't be able to take any great pictures. You gave him back the device, tears in your eyes. Air wasn't entering your body. You had to run away. You left the Ferrari garage under everbody's look - or judgement, you thought. Charles tried to call you, but you couldn't stay. You had to pass in front of the Alpha Tauri garage to find the exit.

Pierre was about to put his helmet on, when he saw you running, crying, struggling to hold yourself together.

"Pyry, cover for me !", he shouted and threw himself in your footsteps.

"Y/N ! Y/N, wait !", he shouted for you. "Love, c'mon !"

It didn't take him a lot of effort to be at your level. He grabbed you, and rushed you in his motorhome. He made you sit down in the little space. He breathed in and out with you, holding your fragile figure in his arms.

"You're okay, it's fine, I'm here", he whispered in your ear.

"That's the problem", you sobbed even more.

Pierre felt his heart break in his chest. Were you breaking up with him ? He just thought you needed a bit of time, some space. He got angry when you pushed him away, but he also knew what it felt like. You leaving him never crossed his mind, not even once.

"What...What do you mean, Y/N ?", he asked, his fingers trembling against your hair. "Talk to me... What the fuck have I done to put you in this state ?", he kept asking, pleading you for an answer.

"It's not you", you rested your head on his shoulder for a moment, before stepping away. You were about to open up, but someone called for Pierre. Pyry showed up at the door.

"I'm sorry, but it's quali time. If you don't take the start, you know what that means... Just go, I'll stay with her", Pyry assured the driver.

Pierre looked at you, broken to see you like that. He kissed the top of your head, and rushed outside.

Pyry stayed with you the whole time, in complete silence. When the door opened again, you hoped to see Pierre.

"Marc is sad you didn't come back. We were all worried, is everything okay ?", Charles asked you, voice less accusing than earlier.

"I'll never be an F1 photographer. I'm shit at this. I'm a fucking looser. You and Pierre should go away from me, because I am going to drag the both of you down with me", if your crying had stop, it just got worst.

"Don't you dare talk about yourself like that, Y/N. You are freakin talented, everyone else should blush. You're the best photographer I've ever met. And I'm never leaving your side, never ever ever. Same for Pierre", Charles tried to comfort you, kneeling next to you, knowing you only wanted his french friend by your side.

And he rushed to you as soon as he parked his car in the garage. He put all of his stuff back in his bag, and took your arm for you to get up.

"C'mon", he just said. You knew it was his way to tell you to follow him without complaining.

The ride to his flat was made without a sound, except for your sniffles from time to time.

Pierre helped you out of the car, and carry you to his bedroom. He put you down on the bed.

"Do you wanna change ?", he asked you softly. You nodded. He took you out of your clothes and replaced them by his comfy ones. He did the same.

He laid down, and pointed you to lay on his chest. You didn't obey right away.

"I shouldn't stay, the race is tomorrow. You need to rest", you tried to espace.

"No fucking way, Y/N", he strongly said while forcing you to lay down near him. "Look at me", he took your chin in his hands, forcing your eyes to meet his deep ocean ones.

A moment of silence floated between the two of you. You didn't know what to say, and he didn't want to pressure you.

"I'll never make it", you finally found the courage to talk. "In F1, I mean."

"Why are you saying that ?", he asked you.

"Because I'm terrible at it. Uni is a nightmare, and see how I panicked when it was my turn to take pictures today. I'll never be good at it", your voice started to croak a little.

"I know how this feels", he told you. "I felt the same way when RedBull dropped me, but look at me now. I'm finding my own place, and everything is turning great. Pressure is hard, but it will all turn alright", he tried to reassure you.

"That's also an issue. I'm a burden for you", but Pierre didn't let you finish your sentence. He put his lips on yours slowly.

"You're not. Y/N, you're the girl I've been waiting for my whole life. It has always been you. I love you, so so much. And you're an amazing photographer. All my instagram feed is made of your pictures, they're so good. You need to believe in yourself like I believe in you, love", he said, his mouth close to yours.

It was the first time he said the three little words to you. Butterflies erupted in your stomach, almost making you forget how bad you were feelings minutes prior.

"I love you too", you told him, eyes close, nose filled with his perfume.

All night Pierre comforted you by saying how proud he was of you, and everything you needed to hear. You fell asleep in his arms, feeling way more relax than before.

"Morning, sweetheart", you woke up with Pierre kissing your face. "It's time to get ready, and shine on the paddock today", he said.

You were stil terrified to show your face there. What would Marc say ? You left yesterday without saying anything. Charles texted you, letting you know it will be alright. No one was mad at you.

And thanks to Pierre, you grew a little more confident in yourself. Being an F1 photograph has always been your dream, and you worked so hard for it. You weren't going to back down now. You still had things to prove.

Pierre kept your hand in his all the way to the Ferrari garage. Marc greeted you with a huge smile.

"Hi Y/N, are you feeling better ?", he asked and you just nodded smiling, so he took this opportunity to reassure you. "My first day as an intern photographer in motosport was awful. I dropped the camera, it cost the company so much, worst day of my life. Pressure is real, especially when you're a rookie, but you'll see, it gets better".

"See, everybody knows what it feels like to be under pressure. You'll do amazing, I can't wait to see the picture of our stupid monesgasque you're going to take", Pierre murmured.

"Thank you, I don't know what I'll do without you", you said, throwing yourself in his arms.

"I'm here for you, love. I'm headed to Alpha Tauri, you know where to find me if you need", he kissed you goodbye.

"I'll root for you !", you screamed to him.

You stuck with Marc for a little while. He showed you every details of the camera, and revealed you some useful tips.

"Y/N ! I'm glad you're here", Charles ran to you, and hugged you tight. "How's everything ?", he asked, eyes scanning you to see any signs of discomfort.

"It's way better now", you smiled a little.

"You're amazing, never forget that. Please, only take pictures of my right side, it's my best profil", he winked and went to chat with his engineer.

You managed to take some pictures in the garage before the race and of the GP, Marc by your side. It felt nice. In the few last laps, Charles had to retire so you went back to the garage. You edited some pictures with him on your computer, applying every advices Marc gave you, chatting about nothing and everything with your best friend. He managed to take a sneak peak at some pictures.

"Oh my, Y/N they're fucking amazing. I knew you'd do well", he said, his eyes never leaving the screen where the pictures were.

"Thanks, Charles. It's all thanks to you and Pierre. You guys are my rocks, I'd be so lost if you weren't in my life", you said honestly.

"Good thing we don't plan on leaving it then", you heard a familiar voice at the entrance of the hospitality. There stood Pierre. He joined you and Charles, sitting down close to you. He put on his hands on your thigh. He took the 9th place, in the points but nothing to really celebrate.

"Are those the pictures you took ?", he asked, dumbfounded. You nodded and laid your head on his shoulder. "Damn, they're amazing. You almost made Charles look nice", he said, smirking.

"Fuck you !", the monegasque answered.

You sent the pictures to Marc, who almost replied immediately with how amazing they were. He told you he'd bring his backup camera for the next GP in order to let you fully take pictures of the whole GP. Meaning you could go in the Alpha Tauri if you wanted. You were so excited. All your fears were gone, you trusted yourself. You'd be an F1 photographer, and you'd travel with your two favorite boys for the rest of your life.

"I love you", Pierre whispered in your ear. "I'll show you tonight how much you mean to me."

Looks like you were in for a long night.

————————————————————-

🌻 Thanks for reading 🌻

[luwritesomething]

Hi! “I’m right here” anon again. Just had an idea. So I’m half white and half Latina. I had this scenario where Maria’s cousin walks in on Riff and Bernardo planning the rumble and just GOES OFF scolding them, especially Bernardo, for being short-sighted and pointing out how stupid the conflict is and how their different backgrounds actually have a lot of similarities. Bernardo believes she’s right and decides it isn’t worth his time. Then Riff being left feeling conflicted and… impressed? Before having that “come to Jesus” moment Mike talks about. Maybe he ends up respecting the reader and watching out for her (secretly) before realizing that he’s sweet on her because she stood up to him and Bernardo simultaneously.

Whew. That was really long and detailed. Anyway, I’m just a sucker for a decent redemption arch. Would you like to write something with that sort of dynamic between the characters? I totally get it if it’s too much. I just really like your writing! Thanks

Riff x Latina!Reader: She knows.

Words: 7665

Reader's pronouns: she/her

Warnings: period sexism and racism, light 2022 vision of the world, reader ahead of her time, riff, non-canon riff, elimination of the original plot, slurs, everything west side story had, really.

edited: no, unedited.

Author's note: HI SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG. thank you for requesting, this request was great and so fun to make. as you can see i really went off with it, but i think ut's worth it because i really tried make it as close as the real riff as the request allowed me. all the dialogues in spanish can be found translated on the comments, were i'll put the translation. also also this is divided in three chapter, under the cut!

( Chapter 1 - Fearless)

You twirled around the gym's floor, smiling wildly as you switched constantly from dancing with your date, that Alberto boy your cousin Bernardo had gotten you for that night, to spinning on your own surrounded by the girls you had either met that very morning or knew already from when you all were in the same neighborhood back in Puerto Rico. The lights, the colors, the music… Everything seemed brighter, jollier. If that was New York, if that was what America truly was, you wanted to stay forever and never leave.

Astonished didn't even bring justice to how you were after walking through your new neighborhood for the very first time. It was all so beautiful, even better than in your dreams! You got to live next to your two cousins, Maria and Bernardo, and you were meeting kind and fun people, surrounded by a pretty view if you ignored those buildings that were being demolished.

Anita had noticed how excited you truly were, the kind of excitement she had suffered back when she had come there for the first time. The kind of excitement she had lost because of the gangs, the violence, the hate, but still the one she, from time to time, had again so she could fight against Bernardo's cruel pessimism against America and americans.

That's why Anita had tried to warn you. Lightly, so it would scare you off because that would be the last thing she would want to do, but Anita had quickly told you about the Sharks and the Jets. She had told you to stay away from the americanos, because they only cause harm, mi niña, and so you did, because you were no one to disobey the friend who was just trying to keep you safe. You were still determined to make sure nothing would ruin New York for you, even though the little fight the Jets had against the Sharks right when you had entered the gym almost made you wonder if something was really going to ruin it. But as the fight evolved into an inoffensive dance off, you relaxed… until now. 

The sound of Bernardo's shouting didn't trigger any alarms in your senses, you knew your cousin well enough to know he was keen on raising his voice too often about the littlest things. But as the noise grew bigger and bigger, and some friends of yours stopped dancing, you did as well and approached Anita, who was watching carefully what was happening. 

"Ya, tranquilo," was saying Anita to Bernardo, resting her hand on his shoulder and making him step away from a boy you recognized as a gringo, one of those Jets. Bernardo looked mad ", que no pasó nada"

You grabbed Luz's arm next to you, leaning closely to her so you could whisper "¿Qué pasó?" 

"Maria," Luz said softly, her eyes glancing at your cousin ", Maria was behind the bleachers with that Jet…"

"And why is that a problem?" you asked as softly as you could, brows frowning, but Luz never got to answer.

A blond boy, tall and slim, another Jet boy, rushed to walk to the other Jet and pat him on the chest to keep him from making a mess. Another blond someone, this time this girl that looked really mad, followed the blond boy. 

You shot a glance at Maria, next to Chino but staring at the brunette Jet boy who Bernardo was killing with his glance. You felt Alberto behind you, his hand on your waist, and you shifted uncomfortably. He never took his hand off of you, though.

"I wanna dance, goddamit!" said the blonde girl, directly talking to the blond boy, who looked at her with a raised brow, somewhat between amused and thinking she was going feral for a little thing. You saw a police officer getting closer to where all of you were "Goddamit, Riff! You swore to me you wasn't startin' nothin', you promised we could dance first and then you was only gonna challenge 'em peaceable to a…"

"I'm here to dance, girly girl," interrupted that Riff boy, lazy smile on his lips, hands all over the girl to convince her to calm down ", ain't that what we been do—"

"Challenge who to what?" The police cut him off, hands on his own waist and brows raised suspiciously, staring at the girl, who noticed she had talked too much. 

The girl scoffed, rolling her eyes. You decided to keep your attention in the Jets rather than in Maria, Chino and the other boy "Like I know? Like he tells me anything? Like I give a…"

Your attention then switched to the boy and Maria. He was the one talking "Sure, I mean, thank you for the dance and for…"

From the corner of your eye, you saw Bernardo ready to jump onto the boy again. Using your good reflexes, you put an arm on his chest when he tried to go past you. You were surprised the blonde, handsome Jet boy had reacted as fast as you, standing in front of the other boy to protect him from Bernardo. The other girl was working wonders with the officer, distracting him from the boys. 

"Bernardo, Jesús, stop this" you asked, unable to keep your eyes off of Riff, who grinned at you, noticing. 

"Yeah, Bernardo, Jesús listen to the señorita" mocked Riff, making you narrow your eyes at him. Then he looked at Bernardo, forgetting you even existed "What say… what say we visit the head? A little pow-pow, friendly-like? You, me, and…" his eyes went up and down your body as he paused, his arm sliding behind the other boy's shoulders. Bernardo tensed at the look he gave you "... my trouble-making friend?"

Your arm fell from your cousin's chest, once you were sure he wouldn't bite them. Bernardo nodded to the Jets and then looked around for Quique and Braulio. As they all dissolved like nothing had happened, Anita forcing Maria to walk away from there, you decided to again approach Luz with the confusion written in your face, also taking advantage of the situation for escaping Alberto, who was nice but you did not like as much as he liked you. Last thing you needed right now, after coming to New York, was men.

Luz almost laughed at you when she saw your confused expression, and she took your hands as she twirled you around her, making your red dress's skirt make beautiful circles. You forced her to stop dancing, glancing at the door where Bernardo and Riff had left. Your heart pounded against your chest. 

"¿A dónde se fueron?" You asked, squeezing her hands. 

Luz shrugged "To the bathroom, creo. They'll be back soon, no te preocupes, boba"

"But," again glancing at the door, you licked your lips ", what are they going to do?"

"No te metas, Y/N" warned you Luz, catching where you were going with those questions, knowing you too well for you to act like you were just curious. 

"Luz, answer"

She sighed "I don't know for sure, but that rubia tonta implied they will plan a rumble" she muttered, giving in. Worry washed her face slowly. 

You frowned "A rumble?"

"A pelea, niña"

"That's dangerous"

"That's the point" Luz watched alarmed how you let go of her hands, a serious shadow on your face "Y/N, ¡ni se te ocurra!"

"I'll be right back, Luz, I promise" you said, too worried to look at her so she could make sure you were telling the truth "You just distract Alberto, okay?"

"Fine! But if Bernardo gets mad don't tell him I helped you"

Nodding, you headed to the doors. You knew how those rumbles were and overall, you knew how Bernardo was. Wild, angry, furious… Eager to find someone to blame, someone who he could use as a way of letting his anger against the world come out. You knew how that rumble was going to go. Probably, your kin will get harmed. And the Sharks were the closest thing to family you had now, you couldn't lose any of them, especially not Bernardo. Your bright future in New York wasn't going to be ruined, not if you could stop it. You had to stop that. It was almost an anxious obligation.

Without thinking it twice, you opened the boys' bathroom door and stepped inside, making the six boys—Riff and another two Jets more, Bernardo, Quique and Braulio—interrupt their conversation in a blunt way. 

All of them stared at you and you felt tiny under their glances, but you still straightened your back and moved slightly, to avoid the Jets and join the Sharks. 

"Get out, ahora mismo, Y/N" ordered Bernardo, rage through his body, as soon as he was able to react. None of them expected a girl, a Shark girl, to walk on them planning the rumble. 

"No, you all listen to me, pendejos," you snapped back, your chin going up in dignity, your index finger pointing first at the Sharks and then at the surprised Jets. The Jets raised their brows at how stupid you were for not being like the others and just stay out of it. Riff, though, did not think you were stupid. Reckless? Yeah, maybe. But stupid? Not at all ", ustedes son idiotas si piensan que van a arreglar algo con peleas estúpidas"

Riff scoffed contemptuously, directly at you, putting his hands on his hips "Hey, muchacha? I don't speak fucking cucaracha, so yer better—"

"Stupid fights won't solve things if you don't see the stupid problem" you cut him off, practically barking back at him, crossing your arms. In the end, you weren't as fearless as Riff thought you were, but he didn't have to know that. You did feel kind of intimidated by all of them, even the ones that were your friends. But what it mattered was how confident you looked "And none of you pendejos know the fucking problem, now, do you?"

"Y/N," Bernardo's fingers wrapped tightly against the skin of your arm. If it had been tighter, it would have led to a mark ", leave. No voy a repetírtelo, no tienes ni idea de lo que te estás metiendo…"

"No, Nardo! You're so short-sighted, por Dios, there are other ways of fixing this!" you moved away from him, to keep his fingers off of you, accidentally getting closer to the Jets, so close your shoulder brushed Riff. He smiled at you, dangerously, and you then got away from him, feeling like an idiot. You were losing confidence, and their attention "You listen now. Why can't you see you're fighting for something stupid? Streets aren't property of no one—"

"This street is ours!" exclaimed one of the Jet boys, almost jumping. 

Riff snapped his fingers, his smile growing bigger "Action's right, señorita"

"Let me finish, you gringo," you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him. Both Action and Ice were surprised he didn't slap you for talking back to him ", what I mean is that is pointless. This street is being sold to richer people. The problem isn't us— or you. It's the rich people. They are taking our homes away from us"

"Last time I checked your ugly island wasn't fucking here" bickered Ice, making you sigh. 

"Tu madre sí que es ugly" said Braulio, a shit-eating grin on his face.

You shook your head "You don't get it! You're all so dumb you don't see how they are trying to make us kill each other so they don't have to kill us"

"They?" muttered Bernardo, his attention to you talking growing bigger. Little did he know Riff was feeling the same way. He was even watching you with shiny eyes. 

"Sí, them, Nardo" you relaxed when you realized someone was actually listening to you "The rich people. The cops. That cop out there, the one who stopped me today on my way to work—"

"Lieutenant Schrank" spat Quique, and you nodded. 

You turned to face the other boys, the ones that weren't convinced by what you were saying "I don't know you, and I'm not sure I want to know any of you," you said sincerely, which made Ice straighten his back and take a step closer. Riff made him stop ", but it's obvious we are more similar than what we can see at first"

"How's that, girly?" asked Riff, his mocking voice still on. 

"Isn't this street the only home you have? Isn't it the place where you have all the people you love? Don't you want it to stop from being sold to richer people, from becoming a luxury complex for super rich people?" 

The silence allowed you to take a deep breath, trying to remain calm. You were doing good. They were thinking, they were all thinking about what you were saying. Bernardo was looking at you like he had never imagined you could talk like that, Riff was staring at you like he wanted to figure you out. 

"They are not our enemy," you continued after that short break, turning your head to look at your friends. You then turned to Riff ", and we are not your enemy"

"Oh, yeah?" said Riff, that smile sliding into his lips, one corner of his lips raising more than the other. Danger. He took a step closer to you, but you didn't move, even though you were intimidated by how tall he was compared to you "And who is our enemy then, bonita?"

Bernatdo tried to get closer to protect you, to make him back down, but you stopped him with a gesture of your hand. The weird thing is he obliged, and only then you realized the power you had over both men in that very moment. That's what made your head lift up, facing Riff like you weren't doubting about taking a step back or not, the tiniest smile sliding into your own lips. 

Riff was, to put it bluntly, impressed. Even though you didn't know him or what he had done, you weren't scared of him, and if you were you were hiding it pretty well. You were fearless, and that was worthy of his admiral. After all, you were just some girl, some girl who had had the balls to talk to all of them like that, to try to open their eyes. 

"The same ours is," you said, taking your time to reply. Bernardo was impressed as well ", them. The cops and the rich people. Those should be our objectives"

Action scoffed, taking a step closer to you. Riff didn't stop him "You're just some dumb broad! Why should we listen to you?" 

"You already are. And because you know I'm right, cariño" you glanced at Action and then at Riff "Am I right? You both know they are who fomented your hate against us, and they are who forced us into hard ways of living, and then hating y'all back for what you do to us"

Braulio grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to them, not liking the way Action was getting close to you "So what, you think we're all gonna be amigos just because you say so?"

"There's no need to fight" you insisted, a shot of hopelessness sliding in your tongue and your eyes. Nobody noticed, except for Bernardo a Riff "Nardo— don't fight. Piensa en mí y en Maria, y por Dios, en Anita. Fighting is unnecessary, the alliance, or at least peace, is necessary"

Bernardo crossed his arms. He glanced at Riff, finding he was already looking at him "Y/N…"

"If you were real men you will solve this the right way, Nardo. Not with stupid fights" 

Braulio let go of your arm and Quique shook his head, sighing. Quique would be lying if he said he didn't agree with you "I think you should leave, Y/N. Now we have to talk"

You desperately looked at Bernardo, asking him with your eyes to stop that. To make him think about everything you had said. You looked for the last time at Riff, longer than what you had expected. You couldn't quite figure out what was going through his head at that very moment, and his eyes were so cold it got hard to breathe for you. And then, in silence, you left the bathroom, praying in all the languages you knew for the rumble to not be a thing and for the gangs to stop doing all those awful things to each other so you could all live in peace.

"Some wildflower, uh?" chuckled Riff as soon as the door closed behind you "Maybe you should teach your girlfriends to mind their business. We americans don't like people messing with our things, our deals… you Sharks make like the rats and skedaddle, no wonder why—" 

"You wouldn't stop running your mouth even if they paid you, would you, pendejo?" snapped Bernardo, still with his arms crossed. His muscles's bulges were visible through his jacket "My cousin is right"

"What?" said Ice, breathlessly. 

"Don't you know English now, gringo?" laughed Braulio, a grin on his face.

"Well, I'm sorry, your mouth is just so full of shit that your stupid, ugly accent is practically little understandable" 

Quique stopped Braulio from trying to lunge into Ice, and so did Action with his friend. Meanwhile, Riff and Bernardo were holding a staring contest, or that's what it looked like. 

For Bernardo, it was evident Riff was conflicted. He understood it, what were they both supposed to do now? They had been so busy fighting and hating and throwing punches they had never tried to see beyond them, to see what Y/N had been able to see in her first day there. And now they had the solution, right there. 

"So no rumble?" insisted Bernardo, knowing Riff wouldn't say anything first, and deciding to take that matter into his own hands. 

Riff felt how Ice's and Action's eyes burned a hole to the back of his neck, waiting for an answer "Really?" 

"It's not worth my time chase stupid Jets around," Bernardo clicked his tongue, impatiently ", and my boys don't have the time either. We have jobs, you know. And a future. No rumble?" Bernardo held his hand out for Riff to shake. He stared at his hand, standing still "Yes alliance?" 

And then, Riff decided "Fine" 

( Chapter 2 - Sweet )

It had worked. You weren't completely sure if it had been your speech or God, but there was no rumble and things and attacks between the two gangs had stopped. For people unaware of what had happened at the bathroom, it was almost like a Bible miracle, a Christmas sign of magic, or just an strategy for them all to keep fightning after some calm time. Cops believed the last one, they were completely puzzled. 

Bernardo hadn't explicitly told you there was some sort of a peace treaty going on, he hadn't explicitly told that to anyone at all except for Anita, but it was more than evident. Jets' sabotages against Puerto Ricans and their properties had stopped and the reign of terror had stopped. 

The Sharks weren't friends with the Jets, but when Officer Krupke and Lieutenant Schrank had tried to blame some innocent Jets for breaking a traffic sign, the Sharks had surprisingly stepped in and protected them like they were part of their crew, like they had been friends for forever. Everything was obviously getting better and you couldn't be more happy about it. Violence on your street had decreased, Anita wasn't that worried about you coming back late to home after work, and Maria was seeing that Tony boy she had met at the dance at the gym. You were finally achieving that dreamed life of yours, even though there was still a long path to walk. Because being a waitress at a bar, at a pub, was not certainly your dream job. 

The bell on the door that indicated someone had entered through the pub's door sounded while you were cleaning one of the tables at the back, all disgustingly sticky and stained by drunk men who couldn't drink a beer without spilling it. They had all left the pub just some minutes ago, so maybe that one wasn't exactly a customer but a man who had forgot something. 

You turned around to look at the customer, probably the last of the night because the closing time was approaching, and you kind of froze when your eyes met Riff's. Your brain instantly told you to get out of there, Riff was dangerous, he was the leader of the Jets and he only caused trouble. But, then you remembered you had no reason to fear him, because he had no reason to harm you. 

First, the peace treaty, as far as you knew, was still something. Which meant he couldn't—more like shouldn't—harm you. And second, you knew he had been watching you. Not in a creepy, scary way but more like a protective way. When you were crossing the road, your hands full of groceries bags, he watched you cross. One night you were walking home after work when you crossed paths with him. He crossed the road to not be on the sidewalk you were on, but he still walked towards wherever you were walking to, and when you found some creepy guys that weren't Jets nor Sharks, he entertained them and you got home safe. His actions weren't something you could easily ignore, especially because he hadn't tried to hide it either. So, whatever his reasons were to kind of look after you, he did have no reason to hurt you, right?

Riff at first couldn't comprehend those stupid things he was doing for you. He didn't like the way he had spent a whole noght thinking about how your name sounded, or the way he couldn't take his eyes off of you when he saw you, or how he was able to recognize you by the way you wore your hair or by your dresses. 

He didn't care for you, did he? No, that was nuts. Then why was he looking out for you? That was a mystery he was sure he wouldn't figure out in a million years. It actually took a bottle of tequila and one of those soft, heart-warming talks to Tony for him to figure it out—he was being nice to you because you had stopped the suffering. You, on your own way, had tried to protect both Bernardo and Riff from killing each other. After the way you had scolded them, trying to open their eyes, Riff felt like a scared child. And after all, he was a scared child who had done awfully wrong things out of a pure hatred he didn't feel anymore—he wasn't able to see the point of it now. Riff had entered the biggest crisis of his life after the peace treaty, realizing how many things he had done, so terribly wrong, so many he hadn't even tried to start making things up for it, because how could he? Riff had been a terrible person, he couldn't be forgiven and because of that he sometimes wanted the rage to come back, so he could know what to do. Now, he was just lost. 

"You're not gonna to take my order or what?" Riff forced himself to snap out of his own reality and his haunting thoughts, those who made him so anxious, by grinning and teasing you. 

Your brow raised, like you didn't believe his rough boy act "You're not old enough to drink, and in here there is only alcohol, Jet boy" still, you took your place behind the counter. 

"You're not old enough to serve drinks either, señorita" he shot back, mimicking your brow's position cruelly. 

"Well," you shrugged, "a job is a job. And men like a pretty girl, am I right?" you knew that was the reason why you had been admitted into the job. 

The pub owner was this Spaniard man in his late forties that liked practicing his Spanish with you and who had actually told you he was hiring you because every good man likes to see a pretty, young face while they drink. The customers came either for you or for the alcohol. You didn't like it, but it brought needed money to your pocket and nothing inappropriate had happened, and that was what it mattered. 

"Where's that pretty girl, uh?" chuckled Riff, his light laugh telling you he was just joking. 

You played with the pockets on your aprons, holding a smile back "Hum. American humor. Very funny"

"How's Puerto Rican humor?" he grinned at you. 

"In Spanish" you deadpanned, your brows twitching slightly when he pointed a beer bottle behind you with his sharp chin. You sighed, but still turned around to get it "You're going to have to pay for that, espero que lo tengas claro"

"I've already told you I don't understand… Spanish" Riff said, cautiously, his hand wrapping around the bottle as you took off the beer's cap. You hummed slightly, noticing how he had taken his time to say something other than cucaracha, or one of those insults they had reserved for your culture. 

"I didn't say anything important, really" you assured, leaning back against the cupboard behind you, as you watched how Riff took a long sip out of his beer "Can I ask you a question?"

He scoffed, like he was suddenly annoyed by your presence there, like he hadn't walk in there on his own feet on the first place. Riff eyed you out of the corner of his eyes "Aren't ye already?"

"What are you doing here?" you asked anyway, not caring about his permission, your arms slowly crossing above your chest.

Riff clicked his tongue "I didn't know I couldn't enter a fucking pu—"

"What are you doing around me?" you interrupted him, deciding to rephrase your question, because it really wasn't concrete enough, especially for someone who rambled as much as he did.

You noticed the way his eyes shone as he stared at you, a dangerous glimmer appearing for some short seconds on them. You didn't flicker, nor did you looked away when he took another sip, without looking away from you.

"What, you think I have some special interest in you, uh?" he bitterly asked back, now that making you look away. That was exactly what I thought. Riff almost laughed at himself when he realized he did had an special interest for you "I think you think I'm more sweet than what I really am"

"Oh, believe me, you have no idea about what I think about you," you bickered, as bitterly as he did first, again meeting his gaze ", and you don't want to know"

Riff raised his eyebrow at you "Talk dirty to me, señorita," he dared you to speak, showing you his teeth ", tell me all those pretty things you think I am"

"You're an asshole" you snapped, without realizing that was what he wanted. Riff wanted to push your buttons, and he was getting what he wanted, like he always did. But most of all, Riff wanted you to shut him out of your life, to not give him the opportunity to enter. Because he certainly, for some reasons that escaped him, didn't trust himself around you "You think you're so cool and witty, carajo, te piensas que eres el mejor y que nadie puede tocarte" 

"Love it, darlin', tell me more" he encouraged with a loving voice, without stopping from taking occasional sips from the beer. 

Riff was getting what he wanted. Oh, no, you couldn't allow that "But…" he watched surprisingly how you let your words linger, like you had fallen into a mixed feelings thought. It was certainly a thought you had about him, and mixed as well "... there needs to be something more to you, ¿sabes? You are sweet, especially if you want to, aren't you, Jet boy? You're a tragedy… you are good, you have to be"

An unsatisfied laugh came out of his mouth as his face slowly grew more serious, letting you know you had turned the tables and you were now the one in control again. Riff looked away to escape from your heated glance, and you ended up looking at your shoes, uncomfortable with the silence. Why did he always have to be an asshole? You hated talking to anyone like that, even if it was him. 

"You're wrong," he said when he was able to form his words. 

"Am I?"

"Yeah, especially with something you said the other day," slowly, his grin came back to his face. It made you raise your brow, his mood switch had been to fast for you to answer ", you see, you said some things that made sense, but there's this thing— I don't know, girly, I think you're wrong because…" 

"Jesus, you never shut up, do you?" you murmured, knowing he was still talking for you to interrupt him. Riff grinned at you "What thing are you talking about?"

Riff tilted his head, staring at you with hungry eyes "You see, you said you didn't want to get to know me"

You shook your head "Don't you have a girlfriend to bother instead of me?"

"Not anymore"

"Well. I'm still sure I didn't say that specifically about you—"

"There's nothing better you could do other than doing me," Riff continued, cutting you off ", I don't think you will ever regret it" 

"Oh, yeah?" it was easy for you to mimic the way he had talked to you back in the bathroom, when he was facing you. You even took a step closer, pressing yourself against the counter, leaning in "And why is that, Jet boy?"

"I mean, what's better than an Americano?" said Riff, smirking at you. You didn't flinch when his eyes stared at your lips "It's the best you could ever have, especially better than—"

You shook your head, stopped leaning in and took some steps back from the counter, rolling your eyes "You were doing so good, Riff, but you just screwed the whole thing up"

Riff didn't understand what you were talking about. Then he realized his choice of words hadn't been the best, in fact, they had been pretty unfortunate. He was referring to PRs. He was so used to talking like that, he hadn't even thought the whole thing twice.  

"No, wait, fuck—I didn't mean it that way" he said, like he could make you lean against the counter again. 

You shook your head again "Yeah, whatever. I'm tired and I'm closing this thing up. Leave, vale?" 

"C'mon, don't be like that, señorita," he whined, narrowing his eyes, a smile that tried to ease you on his lips. It didn't fully work. "We were doing so good, weren't we?"

"Out. Ahora"

Riff scoffed at you, like an angry child who couldn't get more cookies. He took the bottle with him, not leaving the money that it cost on the counter, slamming the door shut behind him and really not allowing you to go after him to confront him about the money, which made you sigh. 

"Pendejo" you muttered to yourself, trying to bury those conflicted, mixed feelings on the back of your head. Riff was plain evil, that was it. But it didn't mind how much you repeated that to yourself, you didn't believe it. 

( Chapter 3 - Trust )

Even though things had changed for all of you, Anita wasn't still allowing Maria to go alone to some specific places—she was too young—, and that's when she didn't even know about her and Tony and how they saw each other on the fire escape suits outside her bedroom. 

What was important was what Anita knew, and Anita knew Maria wanted to go to the dance organized at the gym—Glad Hand had been encouraged to organize another dance just a week later because of how the Jets and the Sharks had grown closer in the last week—, and that she wouldn't forgive her if she didn't allow her to go. Letting her go alone was a big no, and she herself didn't want to go because Bernardo and her had activities already organized for that specific night, and she was pretty quick convincing Luz and you to go with Maria to the dance.

Luz was, ironically, full of light and energy and the need to dance—and she also had a partner who she could dance with. You, on the other hand, were pretty tired, had no date because you had refused Alberto's offer to go with you, and if you were there it was because Luz had practically dragged you out of your flat so you could have some fun. You deserve it, mi niña, she has said, but now you were sweating on the bleacher, elbows on your thighs, head on your hands, dressed with that red dress you had already worn, because you didn't have as many dresses as the others had. 

You watched how the girls spinned in their skirts, how Maria laughed with Tony, in the center of the gym, dancing slower than what the music indicated, all the other couples dancing at the right rhythm. The girls smiled as they danced with their boys, and when you saw Luz's smile, you couldn't help but smile. 

Maybe you shouldn't have turned Alberto down—he was a good man, and he liked you. But you didn't like him one bit, yes, he was a friend and one of yours, but that didn't mean you were romantically attracted to him, and he certainly liked you too much for your dry liking of his. You didn't want him to think you were interested in him. 

Luz had laughed at you when you had answered with all that to her question about why you didn't accept the boy's company, and she had told you something about boys and girls that you hadn't quite understood.

Riff watched from one side of the gym how you got up from the bleachers, and the fear of you leaving appeared on his whole being like a tight pressure on his chest he wasn't able to get rid off, even if he wanted. His body reacted faster than his mind, and before he knew, he was reaching out for you in a fast pace. 

You were heading towards the tables that had those little water glasses when Rifd appeared from your left and stood in front of you. He looked as confused as you as he stared at you, not quite knowing what he was supposed to do now. You decided to help him start the conversation. 

"Jet boy" you greeted, softly smiling at him. 

Riff snapped out of his confusion "Hey, señorita," he smirked, tilting his head, taking a look at you from your head to your shoes, not missing one bit ", ya look kinda bored"

"And you're here to change that?" you teased, and eyebrow raised while you dodge him and continued your way to the drinks table.

"Maybe, if you wanted," he said, following you closely, and you had to turn your head a bit to look at him ", you know. You could teach me some of that mambo"

You shook your head, chuckling "This is salsa, chico"

"Isn't it the same?"

"You're being dumb again" you warned, taking one of the water glasses from the table. 

Riff was fast to take the glass out of your hand, drinking it all fast in a quick sip that had you between annoyed, surprised and amused "Thank yer for that, sweetheart, I was so thirsty"

"You're unbelievable, Riff"

"Oh, so you do know my name?" Riff's brow shot upwards, staring at you. 

"Why wouldn't I know your name?" you asked, taking another glass and this time drinking it yourself. 

"Dunno," he smiled. It was a smile, a sweet smile, not his teasing grin ", since you always call me Jet boy?" 

You shrugged "You always call me señorita"

"Not the same"

"Why wouldn't it—"

"So," Riff cut you off abruptly, looking around him like he was searching for someone ", did you come here with a date?"

You looked away when he stared back at you "Why do you care?" 

"I don't, really," he said, chuckling. You looked at him, every second understanding him less and less "Just wanna know if I'll get my ass beat if I ask you for a dance"

You definitely understood him less and less with every second passing. However, his words made you smile softly, forcing you to look down at your shoes to try and hide that dumb smile. 

When you looked up at him again he was still staring at you, smiling down at you with that sweet, new smile you had been able to discover. 

"I don't think someone beating your ass will ever stop you from doing things" you said, not answering his initial question, which he noticed.

He stared at you with an intensity that didn't exactly make you uncomfortable, but rather awkward. And then, he frowned "Wait, so you do have no date? I ain't believing that! No way!"

He wasn't insulting you but you felt like he was by the way he was saying it. Your smile dropped and disappeared from your face, getting all defensive "Fuck off, que te den" you started walking away from him. 

"Hey, hey— Wait, Y/N!" Riff rushed again to follow you, but you did not stop when he reached you. He had to grab your arm to get you to stop walking "I wasn't laughing at you, really. I just find it hard to believe you have no date, that's all"

You stared at him, now feeling dumb for misunderstanding his words, and eased by his new ones "So you do know my name" 

"What?" 

"You just said my name," you said, a corner of your lips rising in a sided smile ", I thought you didn't know it"

Riff smirked "So. Am I gettin' that dance or not?" 

He held out his hand for you to take, letting go of your arm. You stared at his white hand, waiting for yours, and then glanced back at his eyes. Riff was looking at you softly, like he didn't want to scare you off. He really didn't want to. 

You were starting to raise your hand so you could take his when Luz appeared by your right side, twirling, and grabbed that hand you were already raising, then shout ¡Baila, Y/N! before dragging you away from Riff, making you spin with her and leading you to the center of the gym with the other girls, so you could dance to the new, more energetic and familiar as in latin-like music. 

Even though at first he felt completely pissed off by that girl interrupting you two, Riff watched how you started dancing with your friends, forgetting about him and deciding to have a good time for once, and it almost made him smile. 

He watched how that girl made you dance with her like you were a couple, and how you later made Maria join you all, making all the other girls laugh as they danced. Maria made Tony dance with them, and slowly the girls started to force their dates to dance with them back again. Some brave Shark girls dared to invite Jet boys to dance with them—and thanks to the treaty, they accepted. Riff grinned when he saw you coming for him, a wide smile on your lips. 

"What are ya doin'?" he asked you, almost giggling, when you slide your hands into his, dragging him back to the center of the gym. 

"Baila, Jet boy!" 

And boy did he dance. He was better at it than what you would have imagined, his hands on your body felt like something that just belonged there, on your waist, on your hand, on your hip, sometimes maybe even on your leg when you two got too bold with the kiks and the turns, and the getting too close to each other. 

You found yourself unable to stop smiling during the whole dance, and Riff found himself enjoying the way your face lit up every time your smile covered your face. He made it his personal goal to make you smile through the whole dance, bonus points if he could get you to laugh. 

Neither of you had realized how passionately and energetically you had danced until, when the music slowed down, letting a romantic, slow piece for the couples in love, and you leaned against his chest, resting your head on his chest. Riff leaned you even closer, his hands resting on your waist as your head brushed his cheek. You two breathed against each other, trying to get your normal heart rates back. 

You felt Riff's heart pound against his chest, and only then you realized you were almost over him, like all the other romantic couples were dancing. That made you nervous. 

"I think I need some air," you muttered, taking a step back and leaving his shoulder naked without your forearms there. 

Riff nodded, realizing the image you two should be giving for the people looking at you "We can go outside, if you want?" 

"Sí" 

You didn't move when he took one of your hands on one of his, and you two went outside like that, you not quite figuring out why would he ever want to hold you hand. You couldn't already try to think a reason for why he would ever want to dance with you, you, a Puerto Rican, someone he had hated and chased. 

You two leaned against the brick walls outside the gym, letting the cold air hit against your faces, him on your left, silence between you, a silence that wasn't awkward but wasn't comfortable either. 

You shivered when Riff turned his face to you, his fingers catching your chin. His eyes shone softly, warmly. You didn't have time to react, his grip pulled you closer and way sooner than later, his lips were kissing yours, way softer than you would have imagined his lips to be. Wonderful, that's how his kisses were. It took you some seconds and all of your mental strength, but you were finally able to react, putting your hands on his chests and gently pushing him away. 

"No, Riff" you whispered, shaking your head. 

He grimaced, not liking your reaction, but keeping his distances "Right, fair enough" 

"I just don't understand you" You sighed, frustrated, avoiding his look "Not even a week ago you were willing to kill us and now—"

"Hey, I ain't killing nobody, not now not yesterday" he snapped, staring at you coldly, unlike how he had looked at you before.

You shook your head "Don't play indignant with me, chico, you knew what I meant" 

Riff shook his head, and then sighed. You hadn't realized how exhausted he looked until now. The wrinkles under his eyes were big, almost as big as Bernardo's were. How much pressure had a gang leader on his shoulders? You didn't exactly know, but it was probably too much…

You would never know either that Riff had spent days arguing with the most rebellious Jets, those who didn't understand his decision of stopping to chase the PRs. He was forced to shout, curse and slam his fists against tables and walls, to make them listen to him. Who would have told anyone peace was so complicated? 

"Look, ye already said it, girly," he said, rolling his eyes, making you look at him ", we've only known this street. Y'all started coming and coming…"

"You had no right to do anything you did," you interrupted, that fearless look in your eyes. He opened his mouth to talk back, but you didn't allow him to ", don't do the whole speech, Riff, 'cause I won't buy it. I know better. We've had it rough too, vale? It's no excuse" 

Riff clicked his tongue, not taking his eyes off of you "Then what the fuck do you want me to do? Uh? I ain't good, and I'm not being forgiven, and I can't go to the past"

"Tell me the truth, then" 

The way you faced him almost made him lose his breath. Your eyes shone in a softer bright, one different from your fearless look. It almost made him soft. 

"What truth?" he whispered, intensely tearing back into your eyes. 

You blinked "The truth. If you could go back, would you change what you did?"

Riff raised an eyebrow at you "And how do you know I ain't lying to ya?" 

"You want me to trust you or not, bobo?" 

Riff stared at you, not understanding you or the shine in your eyes, which encouraged him to trust you, encouraged him to open up like he never had, a shine that was absolutely driving him crazy. 

You were already thinking he wasn't going to answer, that you would have to go back into the gym realizing you were wrong about him, when he slightly smirked. 

"I would," Riff cleared his throat, his voice suddenly hoarse and lower than usual, looking away ", yeah. I would change things"

Your gaze softened at his words "For real?" 

"Yeah" he said, nodding "For real. I guess"

You searched for his hand, locking your fingers together, feeling how rough and calloused they were against you. Is not like yours were exactly velvet but still. 

His fingers brushed gently against yours and your head tilted back so you could look up to him, your lips pursing together as slowly as they could. 

"Te creo" you murmured, not taking your eyes off of his. 

"Does that mean kiss me in spanish?" he asked, slightly grinning, taking a step closer to you. 

You felt his hand going to your waist, and you grinned back "Try me"

-----------------

tagged;; @hellomikefaist

[omikazu]

— when he wants more | tr ♡

FEATURING koko and izana

category: fluff, jealousy, mentions of fwb dynamics in koko's part and light mentions of drugs in izana's (nothing too much) <3

• kokonoi hajime

when you and koko first started sleeping with each other, nothing about your relationship with him really changed. you met him at the bar that you managed, and soon enough, he became a regular customer, and you hit it off with him quite well. both in and out of bed. you were both still friends, got along great and he didn't make it awkward in any way. he came over whenever you were both free, made you feel good and left citing work obligations, and that's just the way you wanted it to be.

you knew that koko was an executive member of japan's most feared criminal organisation, and you honestly didn't want to know the gruesome details of his worklife. especially since you found yourself catching feelings for him. you kept reminding yourself that it would be dangerous to be with somebody like that, and besides, koko never implied that he was interested in you romantically. so it's not like you even stood a chance.

but you couldn't help but dream, it's hard not to when he's so close, so within your reach, at least physically.

"earth to, y/n," koko calls out, waving his hands over your face. "what are you lookin' so serious for? bad day?" you shake your head, giving him a half hearted smile. koko furrows his brows, obviously not buying it, but he doesn't press further, much to your relief.

you turn over in bed, both mind and heart racing from your thoughts. almost everyday koko enters through your door, sometimes serious and sometimes in a good mood, fucks you into oblivion, gets back up and leaves. it's just a part of both of your routines, and it's the kind of cycle that would surely break someday.

"y/n, what's wrong?" koko repeats, grabbing you by the shoulders and turning you around so you face him. his strikingly beautiful eyes were wide with concern, making him look less intimidating than usual. you wish you could drink in the sight of him caring about you everyday. you gulp, lowering your gaze. no, you won't tell him. you can't. that'd destroy everything you have with him right now.

"it's time for you to leave, isn't it?" you say, pushing his hand away. "you usually leave around this time, so why are you still here?" koko frowns, wondering what got you so mad all of a sudden. you seemed fine until a few minutes ago. "uh, i don't really know," he says, propping himself up onto his elbow.

even as he said it, kokonoi knew he was lying. he definitely knew what he wanted, and what he wanted was you. he just doesn't know how to voice it out aloud, not to mention that he's scared that he'd fail to protect you, and he'd never forgive himself if you were put in danger just because you were with him.

"then leave," your voice cuts sharply through his thoughts. "if you don't know why you're even here, maybe i'm not worth staying for." koko blinks, staring at you. your eyes fight back tears as you try and hold on to your last shred of dignity. you're already naked and heartbroken, crying would be the final straw.

"y/n, i know," koko says, cupping your face and gently coaxing you to look at him. "i know why i'm here, it's just that i'm too scared to say it." his voice was shaky, his thumb nervously tracing circles onto your jaw.

"the only reason i leave as soon as we're done is because i'm scared," he admits, and you notice how his pupils dilate at the sight of you, and it makes your heart race just a little bit more. "i'm so fucking scared that i'll lose you if i ever cross a line, and fuck, i want to. i badly want to, more than you know, but i just don't want to put you in danger, because if something happens to you and i'm the reason, i don't know what i'd fucking do, i don't even want to imagine it." for the first time since you've known him, koko looks so vulnerable, every word coming from his heart.

"then don't," you mumble, leaning into his touch. "don't think about all that, let's start off slow. right now, in this exact moment, what's on your mind?" koko parts his lips, thinking of the first thing that comes to mind. "i wanna kiss you, that's what i'm thinking," he admits, his nose nuzzling against yours. "can i do that?" you nod, giving him the green signal. "permission granted, go for it."

and so he does, kissing you so slow and so deep you feel the euphoria course into every single vein of your body, making you giddy. his hands busy themselves, one cupping your cheek hard like you'll leave if he ever lets go, and the other lost somewhere between the soft strands of your hair, caressing your scalp gently.

and when he finally pulls apart from you, you swear you could see stars. "i've got one more thing on my mind, y/n" he admits, and you can't help but look at him in awe, loving how he looks just as giddy as you feel. "and what is it?" you ask, your fingers moving to play with his loose locks of blond hair, making him sigh in relief.

"can i stay over? please?" he says, looking at you hopefully, like a lost little kitten. you can't help yourself from smiling at him as you press a small kiss onto his forehead.

"sure you can, because i want more too."

• izana kurokawa

you are the only person in the world that has been by izana's side through everything. the good and the bad and the crazy. you first met him at the orphanage when you were both kids, never leaving his side since, and to this day, he sometimes wonders why. he's a terrible person who rides with gangs, sells drugs, beats up people and has even been to jail before. so why haven't you abandoned him? why haven't you given up on him like everyone else has?

"you okay, 'zana?" you chirp, shoving a bag of chips into his arms. "here, have some." izana shakes his head, gazing at you in wonder. you look so beautiful with the wind ruffling your hair as your legs dangle loosely from the branch of the huge weeping willow that the pair of you were currently seated on.

"why did you pick this tree again?" he asks you, moving a few stray leaves out the way so he can see you more clearly. "because it's so pretty," you answer, smiling at him. "and we're both practically hidden from view, so we don't have to worry about anybody else bothering us. it just feels safe, i guess."

safe? why would you feel safe with somebody like him around? he feels a pang of guilt hit him as his heart races at your words. he knows that he shouldn't be harbouring feelings for you, just the fact that you're in his life as a friend is more than enough and yet he couldn't help himself from secretly and shamefully wishing for more.

"you're so distracted today, 'zana," you grumble, throwing a stray chip onto his head. "come on, tell me what's on your mind already."

"why did you stick with me?" izana asks you out of the blue, surprising himself. "you know all the terrible things i've done, you know how many people got hurt because of me, so why? just why do you never give up on me? i just.. need to know. it's been plaguing my mind."

"i honestly don't know," you admit casually, shrugging. "i see you do all these unacceptable things, and i just find myself making up stupid little reasons and excuses as to what made you act that way, i look for anything and everything but you to blame, because i can't ever imagine a life without you by my side."

izana feels his heart inflate more and more with each word you speak, the perpetual feeling of loneliness that's forever been haunting him fading little by little the longer he stares at you.

"you were the first person that began to matter to me after my parents die, you're like, the most important person in my life," you say, so very naturally, the words just flowing with ease, like you've rehearsed it all before. you never felt like there's something to be embarrassed about when you're with izana, so you always speak your mind, and this time, you speak your heart.

"why do you ask—"

"i want more."

your brows furrow in confusion, not quite catching onto what he means. "what do you mean you want more, izana? do you want me to give a long speech on why i always stick by–"

"i'm in love with you, y/n."

your eyes widen at izana's sudden confession, the packet of chips dropping onto the ground with a dull crinkle. you look for any signs of teasing behind his eyes and to your surprise, you find absolutely none.

"you actually mean that?" you ask carefully, "because i love you too and i swear to god, if you're playing with me only to say you're just kidding later, i will literally cry." izana shakes his head, drawing in a shaky breath. "shit, i'm serious, i've always loved you, y/n," he says sincerely, pulling you closer and covering your hands in his.

"i'm all in, i've always wanted more, it's just that.. i've always had this feeling that you're too good for me," he admits, kissing your knuckles lightly. "and god knows i still do, that there's still this big part of me that's screaming that you deserve someone so much better, but fuck, you still chose me. out of all the people you could've given your love to, you still chose me, and i can't tell you how ecstatic that makes me feel."

by now, the two of you were blinking back tears, and you try to find the right words to say. "see, picking this tree was a smart choice, now no one else can see us be a couple of crybabies," you say, making izana laugh.

"i can't believe i cried on the first date," izana tuts. "so uncool." you nod, fake frowning at him. "true, but i've seen worse so i'm immune," you say as he playfully tackles you.

"stop, izana! we'll fucking fall otherwise," you say, panicking. "don't worry, princess, i'll catch you before you do," he promptly responds, making heat rush into your cheeks. but you still relax, because you trust izana.

you trust him with your life. you always have.

[shellshockedgay]

Mikey Fluff w/ Shy M!S/O

A/N: I'm sticking with male reader since it wasn't specified and it works with Leo's. I used to be kinda quiet as a kid and I also have adhd, so please excuse the absolute bullshit this is, I'm sorry.

Leo's Outgoing S/O

Donnie's Sassy Crackhead S/O

-

Listen. Ya'll are ADORABLE EVEN AS JUST FRIENDS I-

Wanna talk about DYNAMICS.

Like, he loves to lay on you. He's so tiny, let him do it. He's only 4'10 I-

Like the others, when he has a crush, he can not stop talking about you, but it's literally constant.

"(Y/n) really likes this movie, we should wait to see it." "Jeez, Mikey." "Look, if you like him so much, just marry the guy." "..... I CAN DO THAT?!"

Immediately runs off to plan your wedding.

Literally eats the paper after to keep it safe and to make sure you don't see it.

The guys let out a collective sigh of relief when you two start dating, but the sigh turns into a scream because he somehow talks about you MORE.

Makes up words to describe you in nice ways.

Yes, he is loud and fast and amazing and your soft and quiet and just as amazing and you guys balance each other out.

You somehow manage to bring his volume down?? No one knows how you do it, but they absically beg you to stay at the lair.

Oh my gosh, but sometimes he brings you up a few notches and then the true choas begins.

Dudes got ADHD, ok?

Some days he's a ball of actual energy, next few days he's just kinda like "meh, I was born into this life, I didn't choose this shit"

During those days, he lounges around more, so expect him to really cling to your side. Also, his head can get mean, so just kinda hold him.

His emotions range on the extreme side sometimes, too, so he might cry in your lap, be careful, but shell scratches always calm him down.

He won't tell you, but you just being next to him helps calm him down.

He also won't tell you he has bad nightmares and most of them involve you getting hurt in some shape or form.

If he asks for coffee? He had an especially rough night with nightmares and got maybe 20 minutes of sleep.

Anyway, if his brothers try to pick a fight with you, he's always going to defend you, especially because of your quiet nature.

Mikey will deck Raph if he has too. No one hurts his boo-bear.

Unless your quiet but have a RAGING temper, then he just sits on the side lines with popcorn and watches you verbally obliterate his bros.

Kinda just goes "OOH, GET BURNED" from the side lines and laughs. I love him. I'd die for him.

Dr. Prankenstein and his lovely assistant are here to brighten up moods so get ready to be whisked away from an angry older brother covered in orange paint.

But you guys are always doing different stuff together.

For example: you come over to hang out, but you spend the time reading a book or coloring and he's listening to music right next to you and then like 3 hours later you're like "Ok, I gotta go" and he's like "Ok, I'll walk you home" and they're like "???"

But it's so nice.

He's also really good at reading emotions so he can tell the difference between your content quietness and your sad quietness.

You guys color together and it's so cute and it's his favorite thing to do with you.

He'll go your pace tho if he begins to over whelm you.

He keeps your coloring book safe as fuck in his room, by the way. He wraps it in plastic and sets it ontop of his comic books. That's if you like to color.

If you're more of a gamer, he never plays your shared game without you. If he does, he feels terrible and apologizes like 20 times before quickly getting over it.

Is the kind of dude to clean his room to impress you and it lowkey scared his bros because they walk in and expect to trip but nah, it's really clean. New bed sheets and everything.

Is always asking for you to sleep over so he can see you in your cute pjs.

ASKS FOR MATCHING PJS I-

If you text him saying you had a nightmare, expect him to not respond because he's already coming over, give him 3 minutes. *taptap* he's here. Open the window.

That's probably when he confesses to be honest. Like he's holding you really tight and he's like "No one's gonna hurt you, not while I'm here" and it kinda spills out while he's comforting you or he whispers it against your forehead and leaves a soft kiss when you fall asleep.

Also, he either gets 2 hours of sleep or 12, but either way he's still a ball of energy. Please expect insomniac face times at 3:42 am.

Calls you because he loves your voice, even if it's soft and quiet.

Dumps compliments on you because it makes you blush and it only makes you cuter.

OH MY GOSH IF YOU GET SICK, HE'S NOW NURSE MIKEY AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU.

You guys come up with hand signals for if your social battery does or if your uncomfy, it's the cutest.

Has a habit of just... Holding your hand sometimes.

First kiss with you happens on accident. Mikey was dropping you off at your house and held your hands and gave you a kiss on the cheek and left like he didn't just make your entire night.

Brags about his first kiss being with you.

-

This dude.

This absolute DUDE.

Oh my gosh.

Dude basically runs on solar power but it never stops.

He's always talking to you, even if you don't say alot back. He loves reading to you, talking to you- everything.

Flirty but in a cute, clumsy confident way.

Does not try to hide his crush but does get super embarrassed if he falls in front of you.

Like close to hiding in his shell kind of embarrassed.

So the guys take turns taking you home because if it was up to Mikey, he'd be gone for hours every time he went to drop you off. So when they get back, they're bombarded by Mikey asking if you mentioned him at all.

"Did he mention me?" "This garbage again?" "Raphie! It isn't garbage! I need to know!!" "*sigh*" "Did he mention my skin?? I worked extra hard to moisturize before he came over! My skin have never been this soft! Oh, what about my eyes??" "Mikey, baby bro, I love ya but please shuddup."

He's a chatter box, what can I say?

Anyway, he's good with reading people's emotions, he's just not focused on it very much.

Like he'll read the important ones: happy, sad, depressed, ect, ect. But he won't like notice if you have a crush on him.

He does, however, have a horribly written list of gifts you'd like for holidays/birthdays.

He's a huge gift giver.

Mikey'll hand you your gifts in private so you don't get all that unwanted attention on you.

He'd sweep you away from situations that end up making you uncomfortable. And I mean that. Like he'd literally sweep you away.

Like dudes got you over his shoulder and sprinting fast enough to bat Sonic the fuckin' Hedgehog.

But he sets you down gently enough to make your heart go budbudbudbudbud but quickly.

Oh my god, he's just always gentle with you.

Never, ever, ever raises his voice at you. Like he'd never yell at you. He goes struggle with volume control sometimes when he's excited, but if he's angry, he never yells at you.

And if he does want to scream he's like "excuse me, my dearest friend, for I am feeling strong amounts of rage. Let me go handle this, like a gentlemen, in the next room" and he leaves and you just hear him scream "fuCKINGFUCKWHOTHEFUCIAAAAAA"

And he comes back like nothing happened.

It's kinda scary, but ya know. Gotta get them feelings out somehow.

WATCH MOVIES WITH HIM WAIT.

Superhero movie marathons 24/7.

LOVES MARVEL AND DC EQUALLY.

You can tell his mood based on what he's watching!!

If he's having a slightly rough day, he watches marvel to brighten the mood (specifically Captain America or Thor Ragnorok because those are funny)

If he's having a great day, DC. Specifically the Dark Knight stuff. He loves the Joker in this and has definitely cosplayed him at least 2 times.

Mikey's the kind to keep spouting facts about what your walking all the time.

He cooks, obviously, (the others simply arne't allowed too) so he'd sit you down and make you a full fuckin' meal, right? And it's lowkey something he'd love to do. I can see him wanting to be a stay-at-home husband 🥺

His s/o works and he stays home and cleans, takes care of Klunk the sweet baby, waters the plants and makes them a hot meal and sets up their favorite things I-

I got off topic.

He's a great cook tho!!

Mikey's got so many talents: voice acting, cooking, hand-eye coordination. Dudes not the best at drawing tho. He can draw items better than people, so if he tries to draw you, please go easy on the criticism. He's trying.

He'd ask you out on a date, but it's like not that different than what you guys normally do, so he's in his apron and cooking but then he dims the lights and it's cute and he lite some candles.

SPEAKIN' OF DATES

He confesses to you when you guys are alone. And he's all awkward and cute and he's rubbing his hands together when they're not flailing as he talks.

And you're like "Ah yes. A cutie." because he is. Have you seen his face?

First kiss.

First kiss, oh my god.

Also on the first date. He's known you long enough at this point.

It's spontaneous as FUCK.

Like you're gushing about your favorite stuff and he's not even eating, just looking at you.

And you start apologizing for gushing but he's shaking his head and suddenly standing up, planting a hand firmly on the table.

And he just goes "Come'ere" and leans over, reaching out to cup the back if your neck and pulling you across the table and just kissing you. His hand moves down to your shoulder.

*ahem*

I got lost in thought, sorry.

Lowkey gets self-conscious of his green eyes sometimes. He feels like they blend in with his skin too much, but they're beautiful so.

[sasukerevolution]

How do you think Sasuke's personality would be if clan was never murdered? I always see so many AUs like this but all of them keep his personality from canon which makes it weird. Naruto fillers aren't much better in this, so I wanted to ask what do you think? (;

Good question!

I think some of the basics would stay the same:

Goal-orientation - Sasuke would always be the kind of person who works on a goal-to-goal basis, setting his sights on something he wants and going for it without thinking too much. This is something that's inherent to who he is as a person - he does this when he's a kid (most notable example being when he teaches himself the Fireball Jutsu), he does it at the start of the series (he wants to feed Naruto so he feeds Naruto), he does it all the way through the middle and end (he wants to free Orochimaru's prisoners so he frees Orochimaru's prisoners, he wants to destroy the Leaf so he tries to destroy the Leaf). The only complicated examples of this in canon are killing Itachi and leaving the Leaf because he didn't want to do those, so he spent more time thinking it over.

Sincerity - Sasuke doesn't bullshit or lie. He's very "innocent" that way and would have stayed like that. If extreme trauma didn't change this about him then the absence of trauma definitely wouldn't. It's just part of who he is.

Skepticism - Sasuke doesn't just believe everything he's told, which is why Itachi has to work so hard to trick him. Even without the trauma, he'd remain a thoughtful person who considers what others tell him carefully and weighs it against his own understanding of reality.

Creativity and individuality - Sasuke works hard to set himself apart from others, taking pleasure in crafting new jutsu, having "signature" aspects to his fighting style, and changing his outfits more than any other character in the series. Especially with Itachi still around, I think this part of Sasuke would stay the same. He's got a brand and he works hard on it.

Trusting in his feelings - Sasuke trusts his emotions a lot and lets them guide him. We see this mainly in Part II - in Part I, he does eventually swallow down a lot of his feelings to keep pursuing his goal of killing Itachi, but he does still trust them and uses them as a guide for making decisions like not to kill Naruto. In Part II, Sasuke literally just does whatever he feels like doing in the moment. It doesn't matter if Itachi would be upset with him for trying to destroy the Village because he centers his own grief and suffering, and doesn't need to tell himself lies about how what he's doing is actually best for people, etc. In the absence of the Massacre, I think we might actually see this become more pronounced, because he has less reasons to do things that contradict how he feels.

Autonomy-valuing - Sasuke hates when others try to manipulate him and pursues his own freedom relentlessly. In the absence of every party in the entire world trying to manipulate him literally all the time, this might be lower-key, but he would still care a lot about making his own decisions and choosing his own path.

As for things that might change...

Clan pride - Sasuke would be much better positioned to form an opinion on the Uchiha based on their actual values and goals. In canon he never really has the space for this; they're dead and he didn't know about anything they were up to while it was happening. I can't see Sasuke automatically accepting whatever roles they might try to push on him as he got older; he would think through it himself and decide what he wants to do.

Friendless - Sasuke does show interest in other kids and pays some attention to class dynamics. He makes friends with Sakura and Naruto despite his best efforts, and after he breaks free from Orochimaru he immediately assembles a team of his own. If the clan were still around, he also wouldn't have the pesky Mangekyo if-I-make-friends-I'll-have-to-kill-them thing hanging over his head. Since the Uchiha are so insular he might not have many friends outside the clan per se, but he would have friends.

Disrespect - Sasuke's straight up disrespectful during the events of Naruto. In all the flashbacks from when he's a kid, though, we do see that he's quite respectful, so in the absence of the Massacre he would probably be somewhat more respectful than what we see in canon.

Curiosity - in canon, Sasuke asks a lot of questions and seems curious to learn about the circumstances of others sometimes, but generally he's too focused on his goal to pursue this curiosity to any significant degree. I think without the heavy weight of the Massacre he might show more curiosity and interest in others.

At the heart of it, Sasuke is Sasuke is Sasuke. The fundamentals of his character would stay the same, but without all the trauma it would express itself differently. Thanks for the question! ♡

[ruthlesslistener]

for the “civil engineer” thing, he was also described as such in the Wanderer’s journal from fangamer (which yeah the devs were involved in) where Ellina describes PK as a particularly talented CE, because of the fact that the Queen’s station was made with minimal impact as possible to the surrounding environment. Tbh, the concept of very complex math existing in bug hollow knight freaks me out for no reason other than the fact that I hate math

FUCK YOU'RE RIGHT THAT'S WHERE IT WAS...which really is a massive oversight on my part because I actually have the Wanderer's Journal, but I never got to do much more than skim through it because of a mixture of college and me becoming overly fascinated with the implied dynamics between the civilians of Hallownest and the Mantis Tribe. So that was on me, because I remember lost-kin on tumblr saying that and then linking to the source and me just completely forgetting the fact that it was in the Wanderer's Journal vs some sort of dev interview.

The fact that Hallownest was canonically constructed with minimal impact on the surrounding environment is cool as fuck though, and I really love that little detail about how PK's constructive element intertwines with WL's affinity with nature. It's something that I noticed at the beginning of the White Palace, where everything is very open, spacious, and the architecture is designed to allow plants to coil around it and flourish, but yeah the fact that the rest of Hallownest (with the exception of Fog Canyon, which was terraformed for Monomon) has that sort of seamless blending in with the rest of its surroundings is def. something that I really enjoy about the overall design of Hollow Knight. Mostly because it just indicates how much the Pale King and the White Lady loved each other, where PK's construction aims to embellish the natural world rather than fight against it, as seen in the Queen's Station, White Palace, and the Queen's Gardens. That def. drops off with Crystal Peak, but also alas that kind of makes sense considering the fact that Crystal Peak was Radi's territory, and turning it into a mining complex for energy serves the duel purpose of destroying her legacy as well as getting the resources needed to power the trams.

(granted I'm also biased because my mom is an ecologist and I'm in conservation biology, so sustainable architecture is something I'm super super into, but sTILL. Excited to see how Pharloom compares to Hallownest, esp. since the tribes of Hallownest stuck clearly to their traditional means of building their homes, while Pharloom looks like a clusterfuck of different cultures tied together with industrialism)

Agreed on the very complex bug math thing, though. I hate mathematics and engineering. I mean, it makes sense given PK's...everything, but I'll leave bug physics and calculus to him and him alone methinks.

[smilexcaptainx]

Final Exam

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Could do an imagine with Peter Parker where the reader is overworking herself trying to study for an exam. Peter invites her to do things, but she always refuses because she feels like she needs to keep studying. Peter decides to get together with The Avengers and plan a little fun activity to trick her into doing so she can finally learn to have some fun. Thanks!

Warning(s): None

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 869

masterlist

When you first met Peter, you knew you two would be best friends. You two were the dynamic duo. You were so intimately close to him, he shared his biggest secret to you. You always thought Peter was heroic, but when you discovered that he was an actual superhero, it was awesome.

Peter always claimed that you were a great escape from his superhero schedule. Whenever you two were together, it was as if he was a normal teenage boy. What you weren't aware of though was that he had a major crush on you. He thought you didn't know, but knowing Peter, he's pretty bad at hiding things.

You knew that Peter liked you, and the feelings were mutual, but you just didn't know how to express it the correct way. Currently, it was finals week at Midtown High School and you were overwhelmed with the textbooks, papers and relearning everything from the very beginning of the year.

Peter claimed that you knew what to do. You've been studying for the final exam ever since the beginning of the year. Yet, you still felt like you couldn't do it. You didn't feel prepared. Peter has been your study partner for the past study dates, and even he believed that you were going to ace the exam.

It was difficult for you to convince yourself that you were going to do well. On the days that you didn't study with Peter, you would study alone in your bedroom. Peter was concerned because he didn't want you to overwork yourself. He has seen you when you overwork yourself before, and he hated seeing you so run down.

Peter decided to visit you in your bedroom this morning, and no surprise, Peter found you on your bed with papers scattered all around you.

"Y/N, I have two tickets to go see Volunteer Of Stardust tonight at the movie theaters," Peter announced, waving the tickets in the air. He sighed as he didn't see you look up. "Come on Y/N. We've been wanting to see this movie ever since it got released."

"I know Pete, but I have things to do," You commented, swinging your eyes up to see his disappointed face. "I'm sorry but maybe we can see it next week. You can get Ned to go with you. I'm sure he'll want to go."

"I don't want to go with Ned," Peter claimed. "I want to go see the movie with you Y/N."

"That's sweet but—"

"When will you take a break?"

"After I take the exam."

"Whatever," Peter sighed, opening your bedroom door back open. "I'll be at my place if you need me."

Peter slammed the door behind him, giving you the impression that he was mad. You stared at the door, wondering if you needed to catch him before he left. You looked back at your stuff. You had to admit, you have been studying for a long time. The movie was something that you wanted to go see with Peter for a long time.

You huffed in defeat as you closed your laptop and move the papers aside as you slid off of your bed. Luckily for you, Peter's place was in walking length from your home. You left your bedroom and went outside to see if his car was still present. As you turned the corner to the driveway, you were immediately pelted by a nerf dart.

"What the—"

"GET HER!!!"

You shrieked in fear as you felt what felt like a thousand nerf darts hit you. You soon felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned to see Peter holding two nerf guns.

"Here take one!" Peter shouted, tossing you a nerf gun. Surprisingly, you caught it. "Let's destroy them!"

You cocked the gun with a smile. You had forgotten how much you loved nerf gun fighting with Peter was. You ran to take cover from the darts. You kept peeking out of the bush and started shooting everyone else, except for Peter. The people that you hit dramatically fell to the ground and acted like they were out.

After a while, it was down to only you and Peter. You got out of your spot and saw him slowly walking up to you. His gun was facing you, so you pointed yours at him.

"There can only be one Y/N," Peter called out, gripping tighter onto his gun. "And it's going to be me."

You shot the first dart but Peter was quick and dodged it. He ended up shooting his shot and got you straight in the face. As the dart fell to the ground, you groaned in frustration. You dropped the gun and Peter just laughed. He put his gun down and walked up to you.

"I win."

"Yeah yeah I know," You replied with a smile. "That was fun though. Thanks Peter."

"You know what else would be fun?" Peter asked, slowly making his two tickets visible again. You rolled your eyes with a grin. "Volunteer of Stardust?"

"I'm down. Let's do it Peter."

"YES!" Peter screeched in joy, engulfing you in a tight hug. You laughed as he picked you up off the ground. "WOOHOO!!!"

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Feedback is always welcome!

I do not own this gif.

Credit goes to the owner!

my wattpad

Permanent Tag List:

@altriestowrite

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

If we need a tag for the dan-is-ghost-dad thing, perhaps “evil ghost dad(s)”, “phantom family drama”, or “toxic phantom family”? Also imagine the Amity Parkers notes on this thing:

Fire-Hair Ghost:

- Phantom very obviously hates, repeatedly tells Phantom it’s “inevitable” that Phantom will “become him” (Phantom tells him he won’t)

- Definitely the “biologically” related of the two dads (ghost biology???)

- Also hates Vampire Ghost alongside Phantom

Vampire Ghost:

- Keeps telling Fire-Hair and Phantom to “join him”

- Mentioned a “disappointed mother”, to which Phantom basically said “you aren’t allowed to talk about her” and tried to blast Vamps into the stratosphere

- Seems very possessive, Fire-Hair probably served divorce (?) papers and Vamps couldn’t take no for an answer

Phantom:

- Hates both Fire-Hair and Vampire with a passion

- Repeatedly tells both to shove it when they tell him (a) that he’ll become them, or (b) to join them

- Definitely example of child with toxic (abusive?) parents (parents keep attacking child and child attacks them right back… how do ghost family dynamics work?)

ooh I like Phantom Family Drama! or maybe I'll just squash it down to Phamily Drama, that could work ✨

yeah the end conclusion to everything always boils down to Phantom's parents being abusive as hell, but then you've probably got the devil's advocate types who are like

'maybe fighting is a ghost culture thing? since they all have powers and heal quickly and can't really die again, maybe hitting each other is more normalised?'

this is likely to be an unpopular opinion, but I could absolutely see people getting on the 'we shouldn't judge ghost culture just because we don't understand it' train and people railing against it like 'hitting kids isn't okay in ANY culture'

and it just becomes a total mess from there

[actualbird]

n/s//f///w text ahead and also so much stupid, get out while u can

context because god, all of this needs context or else you'll think im nuts (or, well, more nuts than you guys already surely think i am):

kay so on twitter i was talking with BecktheBeetle and ilong_musk about marius thirst and we somehow got to discussing subby marius. which! i am very much into and i replied with, and i quote "my problem is i want him subby for everybody but also i love luke subby for everybody as well. so i have to like...have a hierarchy. marius bottoms for all nxx except for luke, where suddenly his top vibes activate."

to which BecktheBeetle replied with "I’ll need this in a 1k word essay format complete with diagrams please" possibly in a facetious nature but i love writing 1k word things and making diagrams

which is why this post (probably the dumbest but also the funnest thing ive ever done) happened

my unholy nxx polycule sex hierarchy dynamics hc

wc: 1.5k (1.4k if not including flimsy context above to justify all this)

disclaimers: dont take this seriously. i didnt. definitely do not expect any character analysis rationale in this either, this is wholly just my own self indulgent preferences for the characters. also, this is mostly for the laughs and i feel the need to state the obvious that theres no hard and fast "rule" and definitely no "hierarchy" for how sex dynamics must work. switching is a thing, power isnt a requirement, and yadda yadda, pls dont take sex lessons from ppl online, especially not me, is what im tryna say

anyway, before i talk about bottoms or subs or sex in relation to the tot characters

i first have to explain to you a boardgame called Game Of The Generals

Game Of The Generals (GG) is a filipino board game and im so sorry i had to use it for this but it's the most fitting framework my brain could figure out and i Needed A Framework.

this boardgame is like chess in the sense that theres two sides and one side is tryna defeat a key piece (for GG, it's the flag) to win. unlike chess tho, the pieces have ranks, these ranks determine the pieces that piece can defeat, and the player can only see the ranks of their own pieces (thus necessitating a 3rd party called an adjutant (JUST REALIZED THATS BASICALLY AN ADJUDICATOR OMG, HI VYN) who is not on either side and whose purpose is just to check which piece wins when one piece goes into the box of another piece)

but the ranks r whats most important to this deranged ramble.

the picture above lists all 15 ranks (which i hope tumblr lets u see clearly). the ones at the top are the strongest and can eliminate everything under it EXCEPT when you get to the Private and Spy. the Spy is supposedly the strongest piece because it can defeat Literally Everything

except for the Private. which is the 2nd weakest piece on the board (1st weakest being the flag). it's horrendously weak but its wildcard power is that it is the ONLY PIECE OF ANOTHER RANK that can defeat the Spy.

i say "of another rank" because in GG, if two pieces of the same rank try to challenge each other, the one who attacks first is the one who wins. EDIT: WOKE UP IN A DAZE AND REALIZED I MISREMEMBERED THIS. IF TWO PIECES ATTACK, BOTH OF THEM ARE ELIMINATED. first strike wins only applies to flag vs flag. i can fix this still

got all that? cool. im now taking that list of GG ranks and pieces and condensing it and editing it for my terrible mission

LET ME BREAK THIS DOWN

"eliminate" in this sex ramble now becomes "im the one with the reins" which can either mean topping or being dominant cuz a person can totally have a dick in them and still be steering the show

the Private rank now has two special variants: "with rights" and "without" rights and this is in regards to how they can eliminate the Spy and i swear to god i'll explain that more in detail later, trust me. still, the original rule of "if two pieces of the same rank fight, the one who makes the first move eliminates the other" still applies even among these variants. so if Private Without Rights attacks first at Private With Rights, Private Without Rights eliminates the other

EDIT: so same rank actually means both ranks lose. so both Privates get eliminated. this can still work in my favor tho, trust me

note that for both Privates, i say that there is only the capability to eliminate the Spy. meaning that theres still a possibility they themselves can be eliminated by the Spy

i say this in the beginning of the post but i'll say it again: dont take this seriously. i certainly am not.

with these new pieces in place, i now put forth my hc via assigning a piece to each member of the nxx investigation team

from this alone, i think a good chunk of my thoughts are expressed, but lemme walk through them so you appreciate my hardship

mc is the most powerful. she can rail the hell outta everybody (including both privates but not always. but i'll get to that later) and they will say "thank you" with hearts in their eyes (and come just all over their body)

vyn and artem are in the middle of this insane sex sandwich with vyn just one star more powerful than artem. which means that vyn can bend artem over the desk in his dumbass minimalist study in his apartment but should mc want to give vyn the strap not even 5 minutes after that (or, hell, even during), hes happy to oblige.

marius and luke are at the bottom of the this horny power ladder and i realize, fuck, i rlly should have formatted the above image in a line but it's too late to turn back now. anyway, MARIUS AND LUKE ARE THE BOTTOMEST OF BOTTOMS, THE SUBBIEST OF SUBS. they are getting fucked and pushed around sexily so so much and are having a blast

to visualize, heres a chart. red arrows are the straightforward ones. the place where the red arrow originates from is The One Who Fucks and the place where the red arrow points to is The One Who Gets Fucked. orange lines are a bit more nuanced because i messed with the Private rank

but yea, thats it!

now that thats been said, i will explain wtf ive done with the Private rank

see, i wanted mc to be a Spy because while shes the most powerful, theres still one piece she can fall at the hands (or dick) of. and in my mind, the one she hands the reins over to easiest and happiest is Luke Pearce.

because i know in my heart that luke fucks like a one man demolition squad (linked is a meme visualizing this)

so i knew luke had to be a private. but then i go back to what i said that started this whole thing: i want luke to be the one getting fucked if hes with marius. but i also want marius to be a bottom, just not with luke where i want him to top. but i dont wanna rank marius higher because i think the brat doesnt deserve it (i say this affectionately) but i couldnt rank luke lower to be the flag cuz then thatd mean he loses the capability to top mc.

i was in a conundrum! i wanted all these things but the pieces of GG didnt allow me to do this!

so my solution is to deviate from GG a little bit

i split the Private rank into two variants to compensate how pathetic (affectionate, horny) i find marius von hagen to be while still keeping his dick advantage with luke.

see, when luke and marius (same rank) are going into the same square (//waggles eyebrows), i remind you about the rule concerning same ranked pieces facing off: the one who attacks first eliminates the other. and in my mind marius, more often than not, is the one pouncing on luke.

so by sheer virtue of speed caused impatient desperation and incessantly whorish vibes, marius wins.

EDIT: due to my oversight on same ranked pieces, the edited rationale is now that luke is bottoming physically but because of luke's inherent genuine tenderness present at all times, marius, even when topping, is still bottoming emotionally. at the end of the day tho after the Feels, marius still feels smug superior cuz at least He Made The Move First. which luke thinks is super dumb but he got great cummies out of it so fine. he'll let it pass. told ya i could make it work

OK LASTLY....LASTLY....THE LAST THING I HAVE TO EXPLAIN: the whole "capability" thing i invented for the Private variants

luke, a Private With Rights, gets to top mc basically whenever she wants him to. which is probably more of a service top situation but from time to time she Does wanna have a go with Agent Raven and maybe play a very coy target he has to sexy threaten honeypot. when mc is not in the mood for luke going that route, luke always surrenders because for him, it is an absolute joy

marius, a Private Without Rights, is submitting because he wants to and enjoys it but also he makes it such an Ordeal. if luke is obedient even if he really really wants to come and always says "please" like a good boy, marius is Not That.

marius is whining, marius is on purpose riling people up cuz it's gonna get him one hard fucking, marius is misbehaving so that somebody will set him straight (ha! as if!)

so mc is kjsdfkJBKJ NOT GIVING HIM THE SATISFACTION SO EASILY!! hes such a brat!!! so he has a much more difficult time winning in the whole rank business because shes being rightfully stubborn against him being Like That

however, she will give him a reward if he earns it

and the process of earning it is just a long grocery list of being everybody else's boytoy for a Long While.

im suddenly now angry because i designed all this to put marius at a disadvantage but......if hes getting fucked on the reg by the team, hes winning anyway. i was tricked. fooled. BAMBOOZLED!

curse you, marius von hagen!!!!!!!!!!

[hyaesia]

lately i just can’t get the idea of neil and eva at their high school prom (they left early and went to get greasy fast food tbh but this was like, before then) dancing the cupid shuffle in their embarrassing prom outfits. neil probably used his summer job money to buy a cravat because he wanted to feel fancy. eva is wearing a too-frilly hand me down dress from her sister and she can’t do her eyeliner for shit.

you have any random teenage neil and eva headcanons?

BWAHH THAT'S SO CUTE,,, eva w/ a super elaborately poofy dress she got from traci is so cute. AND NEIL PUTTING HIS ENTIRE SAVINGS INTO A CRAVAT...SOBS

gosh in terms of my headcanons... the easiest way to do this would probably be a bullet list

after IF, everything i really thought about their dynamic was totally flipped on its head. especially for their teenage years.

before i thought neil was the effortlessly smart one while eva studied 24/7, but now i see it the other way around (tho that's basically canon)

eva was a whole lot more bubbly growing up! maybe not extroverted, but i think she only started closing herself off after joining sigcorp (can you blame her?)

i think neil's always had lynri's cold wit, but he only adopted the more loud and snarky personality in adulthood. perhaps it had something to do with cheering up eva...

in terms of prom i feel like...neither of them would care all too much? i think they'd go together just to be able to say they went lmao.

i also think they'd go as friends and genuinely mean that, something tells me the whole feelings tango didn't start until they had jobs lmao (as much as i love the idea of neil just. pining for 20 years)

quincy would probably annoy neil about it. not a lot, he respects their friendship ofc, and appreciates eva for sticking with neil more than anything, but still. it's easy teasing territory

i read a fic one time where neil went to prom in a tuxedo tshirt. no matter what i can't shake that image from my mind so it's real to me

as you said, eva'd wear a super elaborate hand-me-down. i think traci would also do her hair all fancy. basically she's all dolled up and doesn't care to fight against it

they'd go and then sneak out the second the slow dance starts. maybe they'd get frozen yogurt afterwards or something

this one seems random but i need it to add context: during the wedding in IF there's a couple of sillhouetted figures. these could be eva's family but...why wouldn't neil remember them? ofc the simple answer is that freebird didn't want to sprite characters who appear once like that but...idk it strikes me as odd

that leads me to believe that neil's never really been around eva's family growing up, or even her house. they always wordlessly go to his place to hang out. idk but i'll throw that thought out to u guys

so anyways all that's just a really long way to say that i think they'd go back to neil's. maybe quincy left them some premade food knowing they'd probably ditch early

beyond prom uhh... despite what a lot of the fandom thinks, i feel like they went to different colleges/universities after graduating

i have some thoughts on how they met again but i'm planning on illustrating those some day, so mayhaps i will stay quiet for now

anyways whoosh ^^; enjoy the thought dump!! and thank u for the ask!! i always love endlessly rambling about these two, and i love hearing other people do that even more! i rlly do think there's something so fun abt the fact that everyone in this fandom has totally different readings on their lives

[bobbimorses]

whats ur ranking of all of clints solos

oh this is tough. i think i’d just place them in like...tiers instead?

at the bottom i'll place hawkeye v2 bc the 90s-ness of it all is just too much. it gets flare points for the widower angst and effort of developing clint's relationship with trick shot. remembering clint had a supporting cast? good job.

idk if this counts as a clint solo since it’s a clint and kate joint, but next i'll put all-new hawkeye. the watercolor flashbacks are beautiful and they really went for the emotional beats in those but it was just. mm. like the kate retcon, forgetting simone's name was simone and then trying to cover that up, even little things like "bobbie"--it all just felt off, like there was a last-minute hawkeye assignment that got caught in the rain and everything got smudged. and the akira kids decision??

avengers: solo: pretty art, “you’re my brothers” moment, but i kinda forget the plot until i reread it every time. do your thing, detective clint

hawkeye v3: the clint character moments are just so enjoyable, and his lip scar is on full display and counteracts his curtain haircut. riding around on a motorcycle helping whoever? initially for chili??? metaphorical onion obsession? librarian romance? that alone would be excellent. BUT the series is bogged down by casual misogyny and racism so i must knock it down. what was even going on in those laos scenes. basically it’s like individual moments and character motivations as a whole shine over the plot, which was, uh. on a side-note, the cover of issue 1 is excellent and currently my wallpaper

hawkeye & mockingbird: not a “clint solo” per se but i just need to say i wanna know what jim mccann's outline of a clintbobbi wedding issue looked like. please

hawkeye v4: an excellent comic obvs but misreadings since hurt me a little. also i still wonder if fraction remembered clint was dating jess when writing issue 3 and then had to retread or if he panned that out from the beginning bc. well. but as a whole--the art, the coloring, c’est magnifique

hawkeye: freefall: clint’s excellent combat skills whooping his teammates’ asses and an entire underground fighting ring? check. inner turmoil with his changing view on his work and methods after a tumultuous few years of traumatic events? check. putting on the hawkeyed duds as he finally recognizes how everything clashing is just him? thunderbolts come through with the followup im begging

hawkeye: blindspot: short, sweet whump, family/team dynamics, retrospection. i love it and it’s very re-readable and a great rec for new readers if they don’t get confused by the blonde clones

hawkeye v1: i must simply respect the og and clintbobbi beginnings

these are not ranked in a definitive order just a general “clumping together” ok. didn’t put in the one-shot, vs., and things like solo avengers but solo avengers is obvs my bronze age goofy baby whom i love

[fancifulscrawl]

What do u think of tsc

I almost feel as though I'm still processing everything. Honestly I started reading the book probably a few months ago and I've been reading it off and on, so I'm positive there's things I don't remember. Just like the captive kingdom I should probably reread at some point.

Though I'll always favor the original trilogy, it was absolutely an enjoyable read. It's nice to see all the ascendance kids back together again.

*absolute shattered castle spoilers ahead*

Of course we're all here for the absolute killer sass Jaron delivers, he absolutely wreCked a few people and it was iconic. "If you thought that was exciting, you should have seen me climb out of the river." Also can't stop thinking about when Wilta asked Jaron to choose who to free and he chose his gardener and Wilta barely even questioned it, she was probably so done with his bs at this point. Seriously Wilta had to be mentally exhausted after every interaction with Jaron, this girl needs a nap.

Imogen finally having a leading role, concocting and going through with her own plan without much intervention from Jaron, was phenomenal. I appreciated that Wilta acknowledged that Imogen was just as strong and intelligent as Jaron and comprised every bit of the royalty in her veins. It was fantastic for Imogen to finally get that recognition, and it really brought home how so much of Jaron's successes were backed and strengthened through Imogen and her own decisions.

Amarinda and Roden weren't seen that much throughout the book which was somewhat disappointing, but it paved the way for some other characters to shine which I really appreciated, namely Tobias {don't worry I'll rant about my son soon enough}, Imogen, and Fink. Oh and can't forget Rosewater "Lump" Coyle, an icon.

It was thoroughly entertaining seeing Wilta work with Jaron, their dynamic was hilarious. I can imagine Wilta sitting down, massaging her temples, while Jaron is in the background scaling the castle wall like a spider and everything is on fire. She was like "listen I know that son of a baconator is still alive, we all know it *Jaron with a lampshade on his head* *wilta staring into the camera like she's on the office*

Anyway seeing Wilta gradually change her stance was interesting to watch unfold. I'd like to think she began to genuinely respect both Jaron and Imogen, and respect the unified loyal kingdom they had created. The treason within her own ranks might have made the unity of Carthya seem very foreign and astonishing.

This is all over the place but when Roden had gone to retrieve the pirates I was cheering {how come whenever the pirates make their grand entrance I hear the avengers theme playing}. This might be a controversial opinion, but I feel that Roden should be the one and only pirate king, to me he rightfully earned that position.

Darius and Jaron joining together, and specifically riding together on the same horse, was very moving to me. Both brothers thought the other to be dead and forever gone from their life, yet here they are back together once again, brothers again, getting to fight by the other's side. They may have had to say goodbye to their parents, yet they didn't have to say goodbye to their brother just yet.

Levitimas simply vibing in some dungeon the entire time y'all go right ahead imma just stay right here good luck let me know when you have my book an icon. You can't help but wonder what he'll decide to pen within that book next, the tale of the ascendant king perhaps??? Would it be written as truth or as something told in stories??? Would Jaron’s rule eventually dissolve into nothing more than legend? Like a ghost, did he really live? 

A headcanon of mine that didn't come to fruition, this will likely be a bit controversial as well, but my first impression of Castor was not immediate hatred. At the very beginning, I got it in my head that Castor wasn't actually a bad person, rather he was wearing a disguise, he was successfully fooling Jaron into believing that the Veldergrath line continues as usual, when in reality he was always on the side of Carthya and had secretly aligned with Imogen to take Wilta and the prozarians down. Of cOurse this didn't come about, the arrow intended for Jaron attests to that, though I was hoping. I just thought it would be interesting not only for Castor to truly fool Jaron as Jaron already holds a prejudice against Castor's family and might couldn't see through that, and at the last moment Castor reveals that he is truly on Jaron's side, and most importantly the Veldergrath line is not one set in stone as cruel or selfish. Castor gets to prove that one shouldn't judge a book by its cover or assume the same malicious poison taints the blood within his veins. It just would've been neat thanks for coming to my ted talk

AND NOW

MY SON

THE MOST PRECIOUS LOYAL BABE

Tobias *sobs*

To merely recount all of the instances he verbally demonstrated and acted in such a way that revealed his undying loyalty to Jaron and to Carthya just ahfhdjjsbsj Tobias is constantly the butt of some joke, he's used to being belittled and treated like he's useless in almost all scenarios, so much so that any possible confidence has been visibly stripped away in this book, yet despite that he remained steadfast, did things that frightened him, stood with Jaron even knowing that it could be a death sentence. In stories such as these, it's the ones who wield sword and join in battle and spill blood that are praised as heroes; the ones behind the scenes don't get the recognition they deserve, the ones who's hands shake when they're forced to grip a sword's handle, the ones that are brave in their words and in their choices rather than in combat, the ones that choose to heal, to tend to wounds rather than cause them, those people deserve to be seen and respected so much too.

And of course. We cannot forget.

The moment.

The moment when Mercy raised his blade to Jaron.

And Tobias.

So unsure of himself.

Trembling

But without hesitation

Saving Jaron's life.

I was over here like

Tobias finally had his moment I can't, the amount of mental strength it must've taken Tobias to do that, he's a healer and yet when he saw one of his dearest friend's life being threatened he bravely made that choice, I just love him so much thanks for coming to my other ted talk

This has... become very lengthy, sorry about that, but there's some of my incoherent thoughts.

Almost forgot!! Thanks for the ask @spaghetti-flyingsquirrel-bin !

[sluttymickey]

re ur prev tags yes I did work in medicine me and lem have a nursing home au because of it Okokokokok last one before bed I SWEAR I'll stop harassing you for the day after this sjaksnsksns

Something I am constantly emosh about is Mickey and his siblings!!! It's such an underrated andnynderexplored dynamic like;!! While the Gallagher's we're all allies in a battle against society, the milkovichss grew up in individual battles against society AND Terry and we're less allies as people in trenches near eachother. They all would care about eachother so hard!!! I've mentioned to Mel that they 100% have a sibling group chat but other than that if someone needs something the others show up in full force!!! The only reason Sandy was the only one available to walk Mickey down the isle is because her brother Jamie was redirecting guests, Mandy had a cold, Colin's car was busted and Iggy and Joey were currently doing jail stints (Iggy tried to escape to get there, Mickey found out later and laughed so hard he falls out of a chair)

Mandy loves her brothers, okay?? Those are her dumbasses, she misses them more than anything else about Chicago -- even Ian!!

Iggy held Mickey after he was born (I may send you a seperate ask about my Mickey's the Oldest Au I like to harass people with it in the hopes it makes me write more of it) and like. He missed all the other births, but he was THERE for Mickey's and his dad was too drunk and his brothers too small, but his mom placed a screaming Mickey in his arms and Iggy swore that hed make sure his brother kept that fighting spirit alive.

The way Mickey's first soultion to literally anything in canon is "Im gonna get my brothers" im so fragile drish want more Milkovich siblings

NURSING HOME AU!? TELL ME MORE!! 👀

ALSO NOOO PLEASE DON'T STOP I LOVE ALL YOUR ASKS

YES!! SO TRUE!! Them immediately going with Mickey to kill Frank!! Them helping Mandy get rid of Blake (the pedophile)!!

They totally have a gc and the name's something like BADASS 💪👊 MILKOVICHES 🚬💣. All it takes is one of them sending “Need help fuckers” and they show up!! Because that's what you do for family!!

(Iggy texting “Sry cnt make it. Got caut while hidin in the bin to escape” on the gc from his hidden phone in prison 😭)

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR MICKEY'S THE OLDEST AU 👀

Ohmygod baby iggy holding baby mickey 🥺 him doing everything he can to protect mickey 🥺 him shoving people when they made fun of mickey being smaller than them 🥺 him definitely sending ian misspelt hreats from prison when he found out about the courthouse incident 🥺 HIM CALLING IAN FROM PRISON TO GIVE HIM THE SHOVEL TALK

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[1111jenx]

Hii, love I hope you are doing extremely fine and sorry for the bother ✨✨

Would you mind providing insight on what happens when someone's North node is in your 8 house and yours in their 12 house.

His Pluto, chiron and lilith also falls in my 12 house.

One of the most scary synastry of my life honestly 😂😂😂

I really love your blog and the way you go deep into the subject. Waiting very eagerly for the reply💕💕

Helloooooo

First of all thank you so so soooo much for your kind words this is so sweet and wholesome!!!

And yes ofcourse, I'd be more than happy to answer this question:)

Its funny how I was just talking abt how scary 8H and 12H synastry actually is just now anddddd today as i go through my asks i saw this😂

I'll focus on y'all North Node today for some changes hehe

NN 8th house synastry:

Obsessive tendencies from both sides, but more apparent on the 8H's side.

Soul-deep relationship, can linger in one another's life for quite some time.

NN acknowledge and take pride in how much power they have over the 8H person but they dont realize that as they go deeper into the relationships, they are getting more and more invested.

NN person see the 8H person for what they can become. They see potentials and hidden power within 8H grasp.

NN changed 8H life significantly in some way. (romantically, sexually, financially). If well aspected (venus aspects, harmonious 8H) i'd even say that NN got involve w 8H finance and help them a lot, 8H=other people's money.

A lot of time for romantic context, NN often end up introducing the 8H person to deeper themes of intimacy and sexual experiences. Think that girl from 50 shades of gray entering the red room

Will be extremely hard to forget one another. Will always have some kind of entanglement or cross path later on in life.

Both parties consider the other person as one of their "soul family".

Twin flame placement in my opinion. Astrologers believe this can even go as far as a marriage placement.

8H person subconsciously can rely on the NN person a lot.

In a nonromantic context, this indicates a supportive friendship but also a transformative one with loads of ups and downs. Fights often but are very loyal to one another.

NN 12th house synastry:

NN person will see the 12H at their worst, literally. Will see through their facade most of the time and understand that there are a deeper and more spiritual side to the 12H person.

12H person sometimes can seem a lil spacey, but this should be encouraged as it is healthy for the relationship.

NN will support 12H's needs for depth while helping them slowly build their self esteem. Can seem like NN really knows 12H's struggles and pain despite not knowing them beforehand.

12H may rebel though. As in sometimes they might lash out at NN person for some petty reasons and have a harder time effectively communicate if they're in a bad mood. They refuse to listen to the NN person since they feel extremely exposed. NN may feel very left out sometimes.

A need to keep their relationship as private as possible.

12H may feel that in a way, NN "saved" them from some kind of addictive or toxic patterns that kept reoccurring in the past.

Painful attachment. There will be a lot of tears involved.

In romantic context I observe that couples with this are very involved in one another's lives and tend to know almost everything about each other, even the hidden secrets. I think that depends on the 2 people's charts, if there are too much chaotic energy like Pluto and Mars or a lot of squares in prominent placement can cause them to go crazy on each other and will hurt the other person for fun. will try to "get back" at the other person for wronging them if things go wrong.

An entanglement. Both parties can be clueless as to what they are. Hard to put a label on things.

This is a very very shallow summary as to what the NN synastry dynamic will play out between you and your partner😋 As per usual, pls be careful love and trust me, 12H synastry and 8H synastry going to literally shift how you see things in life. This indicate that you both are extremely significant in one anothers lives in some way.

love,

saint jenx🕊