#i'm gonna get shit for this post aren't i

[iwasbored777]

I wanna know what's going on in the heads of everyone who watched Deadpool & Wolverine and think that the movie wasn't gay. Did you even watch the right movie?

[mikadll]

been having a lot of thoughts again and i acknowledge that my past behavior, my constant complaining esp about medic fans in general has wider consequences and hurts not only myself but other people and oppportunities to grow as an artist and a person. i genuinely apologize

i did talk about this before (on twitter) but after talking with a couple of pals, i have to come clean and acknowledge that the petty shit i complain about here on main did not need to ever be posted. it does suck that it took me a long while to understand this, but i do now

my anger issues and my impulses are not excuses to be an asshole over inane shit like complaining about behavior in fan spaces and for that, once again i genuinely apologize and i'm working on becoming a better person even though it does get rocky at times. that's all

[cartoonghosts]

genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

ok fine im a bit pissy

I did not spend HOURS of EVERY DAY this week, most often WELL AFTER MIDNIGHT

doing things for certain types of encampment that I CANT TALK ABT ON SOCIAL MEDIA ON RISK OF SELF-INCRIMINATION

to be palestine-guilted over MEMEING ABOUT MISHA COLLINS

I did not WORK MYSELF TO EXHAUSTION

face *REDACTED* and *REDACTED*

to be told that my HAPPY LITTLE FANDOM POSTING on a site with NO FINANICAL OR ALGORITHMIC SIGNIFICANCE TO CELEBRITIES somehow undoes alllll of that.

is this a good post? no. does it apply to a lot of ppl? prolly not. could I lose followers/moots for this? yeah.

but its what I'm feeling rn.

[hussyknee]

I do, in fact, hold the Jewish community collectively responsible for Zionists.

Individually? Of course not. Anti Zionist Jews exist as individuals. Many individuals are shut out of their own religious community, especially those of colour.

But as a community where Zionism is so socially and institutionally entrenched that the minority of dissenters are disowned and ostracized?

The global community of which only a handful of organisations openly advocate for Palestine, and even most of those paternalistic and co-opting Palestnian voices with liberal Zionist sympathies?

The western majority that institutionally benefits from white colonization and imperialism and silences its non-Jewish Black and brown critics?

The same majority that will never own their privilege or culpability or complicity in the colonial project before and after the Holocaust?

That helped the West exceptionalize it to cover up their exponentially larger and more enduring colonial crimes?

That distanced themselves from their white colonial privilege at the expense of BIPOC by insisting theirs was not a religious marginalization but a racial one, and continues to punish us for not treating them as racially oppressed?

Whose very demand to be automatically exonerated from the Palestinian genocide is reflective of their white and Western privilege?

That successfully broke the ties Jews of colour have to their own racial communities through Israeli ethnic cleansing and Zionist propaganda?

That uses JoC as shields, tokens and weapons against all the above charges?

The JoC that have purchased the privileges of Zionism and enfranchised themselves by betraying their own races?

The community that has used the charge of antisemitism to police Black and brown folks for decades, making it a knife against our necks?

I absolutely, 100% blame the global Jewish community.

The Global South will not forget. We will not forgive. All people with white skinned European descent are our oppressors. All people nourished on the teat of the imperial core are the foot soldiers of white supremacy, no matter what their race. We owe you no exoneration.

[stillcominback]

𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙻, 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙲𝚃'𝚂 𝙸𝙽: as a lot of you may know by know [ if you've caught any of my previous posts about it ], i'm moving with my parents back to california from texas -- where i've been for about 30 years -- because overall? it'll be good for me. i'm sick of texas for the most part, i literally can't afford to live on my own [ and honestly? i like being near my parents and would just have more security and better quality of life in CA ], and i just think sometimes a change is good!

i've been waiting to see if my job will let me keep my job [ and continue to pay me dirt, even! ] ... all i was asking is that i can live in california and work remote. well, the owner has decided he will not allow me to do that. is there a good reason? in my opinion: no. he's framing it [ in his conservative white man rich business owner brain ] that I'M the one making the choice to move because i could apparently just as easily stay in texas and get my own place etc etc etc. so it's on me! unfortunately, it's just not that simple, but i guess from a guy who runs a family business and has multiple homes, it's just hard to really grasp that concept.

i'm literally so furious and so heartbroken at the same time. i know it's not the best company, and yeah i guess, we can say this is for the best in the end? but that doesn't make it hurt less. i've been there for almost 11 fucking years. my ENTIRE career out of college. through ups and downs, i was always working my ass off and being a great employee ... shining reviews and reputation with literally everyone. it just hurts that that ultimately means nothing when i'm finally asking for something in return. i take the poverty wages, take the working in the office when i hate it for the most part, i've taken having to hear misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, every-phobic thing over the years ... then i ask for ONE thing in 11 years [ that's literally not even a big ask ] and it's a ✨no✨.

i feel so lost. like i don't even know how to be without this job, and as much as people tell me YOU'RE SO TALENTED! YOU'RE SO GREAT! YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING SOOOO MUCH BETTER! i wanna believe it, but my brain just ... doesn't. maybe it's imposter syndrome or just how fucking down on myself i feel right now. i still appreciate it because i literally don't know what i would do without my friends and family's support right now like ... even if i can't see it for myself, it means the literal world to me.

plus sides [ i guess ]: i should be able to keep my laptop [ but i'll lose adobe cc so ... i may need some recs or help on how to at least get photoshop cause idk how i'll carry on without it lmao ]; my manager who is a literal saint and one of the best people i know [ she actually pissed the owner off going to the mat for me lmao "he doesn't like to be questioned" ... insert the biggest eye-roll of my life ] ... but she said she would help me with literally everything from linkedin to my resume to a portfolio, and i know that'll be like everything to me while i just .... try to navigate all of this ON TOP OF trying to move.

ALSO: i think i can work until i leave, if that's what i want to do ... i'm still trying to figure all of this out because honestly? even though it's not much? i need the money. but then i'm also like i don't wanna do the owner any favors by having me work while they maybe start putting out feelers to replace me, yknow? BUT THEN AGAIN, i'm hurting my boss more than him [ and that's the twisted, frustrated thing about all of this ... it hurts us way more than it does anything to him but he still gets to make the choice for us ]. SO! i dunno! i may just use all my PTO and see how far that gets me lmao but i feel like at the end of the day, i have to look out for myself and maybe just trying to pull in as many paychecks as i can [ since we also don't have a hard 'we're moving!' date at the moment ] is the best idea ... even if the idea of going into the office and acting normal like literally makes me so ... 😤 but i dunno! my brain is a mess! afjhksdfda

SO YEAH. i just wanted to update you guys because i do consider you friends. whether we talk a little or a lot, i appreciate all of you so much and just wanted to keep folks in the loop with where my life and my head's at right now. not the best but ... just trying to keep it moving. honestly nooooo clue when writing is gonna happen here again??? i do miss / enjoy the distraction of plotting and talking about all this stuff so don't be shy, i just don't know when i'll have the time or capacity to just write here [ maybe once we move and stuff settles a little bit? ] -- but yeah, in the meantime, please come chat with me, let's plot dynamics and all that shit because it still makes me so happy and lets me take my mind on a little vacation lmao love you all, truly! ❤️

[miharuhebinata]

it is beyond frustrating to see the loz series so dedicated to going in such a new & innovative direction in regards to gameplay, yet still so stagnant in regards to the story. like, sorry to be that person but the fact that it's 2023 & you STILL can't play as zelda in any of the main games is mind-boggling to me. even in totk, a major part of the story still revolves around rescuing- sorry, finding her. she has such a deep meaningful story (which is a step in the right direction, for sure!), but the player can only experience it secondhand as link. she is allowed to be a companion character, but only for the first 5 minutes of the 100+ hours you can spend in the game, as a little teaser for the OTHER companions you get much later (who pretty much all suck except tulin & sort of yunobo, but that's another post). we see her sacrifice, but we only get small snippets of the experiences that led up to that sacrifice. she is put through so much trauma & has to make this impossible choice, & we don't even get to grieve her properly or tell anyone what became of her. & by the end of the game, it doesn't matter because she's back to her regular old self, same as she was before she swallowed the stone, with no lasting physical or mental effects whatsoever, because why should her sacrifice actually have any meaning outside of how it served link? & before anyone argues with me for saying that, yes obviously it did have meaning outside of how it served link. but the way she is restored in the most ridiculous deus ex machina i've ever seen in a zelda game cheapens it severely. everything magically gets fixed by rauru & sonia, & just like link's arm, zelda is left no worse for wear, because of course we can't possibly have our main characters permanently changed by any of these horrific events they've lived through, oh no nothing like that.

link saves the day & gets rewarded with the beautiful princess.

this IS the basic story of almost every single zelda game & you can split hairs all you want, but it's the same with totk as well & i'm just so beyond sick of it. i think zelda (the character AND the series as a whole) deserves so much better than that.

[ghostoffuturespast]

Being a writer is weird.

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE

I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???

I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H

Okay so

I...

have been cooking

by which I mean illusions of grandeur and

schemes

And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.

I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.

The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home

“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.

Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and

Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.

OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).

Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).

There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol

WHICH REMINDS ME

The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.

And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS

I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa

I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing

I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)

and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)

I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH

anyway

OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think

[pa-pa-plasma]

and another thing, I'm sick of people acting like they/them pronouns are just the third gender instead of being gender neutral/outside of the gender binary. idk who decided that they/them pronouns when referring to a person of unknown gender is misgendering & transphobic but they need to go fuck themself i think

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

[soupacool]

I'm really sick of people writing off marginalized groups because they don't like the exact words that those groups use to describe their struggles.

[luvevee]

It's pretty annoying having to scan basically every artist for i/cest shit in any media that has siblings because most of them hide it on alt accounts/platforms/sly tags and that's a big reason why I'm too burnt out on reblogging art

[psy-ay-ay]

every time i look up any gynecological research i wanna start murdering people

[degrees-of-lili]

Y'know if PC wasn't an orphan; it'd make Bailey's story less weird. They could have been someone from another [country] who came to DoLland to go to university (to keep the school aspect), maybe you needed a visa and couldn't get one so you go to Bailey but now Bailey expects you to work for them or they'll ship you off (but not back home obvs.). Except Bailey's "work" is running around town fucking, stealing, and maybe working a semi-normal job. Like some aspects are questionable like Whitney, but Whitney is a parody of an actual bully. Like, the shit Whitney does (and to the level they do it) isn't something that'd anyone would reasonably get away with. Also, how the school works from a gameplay point of view because college you usually pick and choose your classes are.