bumblebeepixie · 9 months ago
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fennthetalkingdog · 5 months ago
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Y'all I just watched Jaiden Animations' video about learning she has ADHD and man... some of that stuff just hit me hard. The having to tie yourself down to work, the being relatively okay in school until college, the wondering if a doctor would just say, "It's a you problem, go away"—geez that resonated. I'm glad she finally got a diagnosis and Adderall and learned how to work best with herself though! I hope things start to turn out better for her as time goes on
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rorah · 2 months ago
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Byleth: 5% dragon, 5% goddess reincarnation/vessel, 20% homunculi, 30% human and 40% autistic (more or less).
The perfect creature 🫶 Anyone who says otherwise is jealous
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I read a book about autism because of her and, in the process, i found out i am autistic lol. Then went hard and deep into the research, only to solve the mysteries of my life ✨. Thank you Byleth. This chart could've been better but it's all i could do in my brain state :'D. Did this to commemorate I finally got my official diagnosis. And my self-diagnose was right (Except Maybe the Adhd Part bc They Think I'm Depressed, which it's a possibility but i am mostly in an autistic burnout :1). Wanna tank the ppl who helped me to get such diagnosis 🙏, I am still a lil bit dysfunctional and need more therapy to have significant improvement, but i am doing my part in the self-care department
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wered0gs · 1 year ago
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I haven't seen a lot of discussion about RSD when it comes to ADHD discussions, so I thought I would do the honors since it's been affecting me for many years and I'd like people to know more about it!
I have had a diagnosis for ADHD but was never told- instead learning I had autism through therapy but still having some behaviors that I could never explain that just Happened.
I learned I had ADHD over the summer, and with that, severe rejection sensitive dysphoria.
before reading, please keep in mind that this is mostly talking from personal experience and some skimmed research! not experiencing RSD doesn't mean you do/don't have ADHD, and it may not appear like how it appeared for me. I don't only have autism + adhd either, so those may also contribute to any differences! ^^
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RSD is the immense emotional pain after being criticized, rejected, or even teased (ignore my misspell in the panel). This rejection can be real or perceived, and we react like this because it hurts.
The pain can manifest as aggression, bringing on symptoms of depression (thoughts of s/h, isolation, demotivation, etc) and anxiety/panic attacks.
it can cause physical aliments like the above. For me, it causes my heartrate to skyrocket, heart palpitations, the feeling of being in a crisis, and extreme shaking to occur along with stomach pain.
(In fact, right now I'm going through it because making a post talking about this, despite having & dealing with it, makes me scared of other's opinions on it.)
RSD can also take the form of avoiding situations, people, or conversations where rejection or criticism is very possible.
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Like other types of dysphoria, it is out of our control and hard to manage. It can last from days to weeks to months, all depending on both the trigger* and the individual.
I had a RSD episode that was on-and-off for a little over a year or two; getting more tame and bearable as it slowly drifted and stopped haunting my mind with the incident.
Compared to the other times my RSD was set off, this moment was a rather big moment in my life and ended up permanently changing me moving forward - which can be the reason why it lasted so long.
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Despite how unbearable it can get, there are some ways to cope with it & lessen the effect it has.
Communicate - If you need time to process something that's told to you, you should say so (as difficult as it is). Tell the person(s) involved about your RSD, how you need time to digest information like this and take some time to relax. Trying to respond to the information while going through the head of the dysphoria will be very rough and might not be what you truly want to say.
Distract - This is really useful for me personally! Do something that grabs your attention or occupies your mind. One of RSD's main symptoms is rumination, thinking of something over and over again. I usually listen to music, draw, or play a game that won't frustrate me - like minecraft! (i'd say rain world but some of you would call me a maniac /lhj)
Perspective - This may require some communication, but it can really help and connect with others. See what the involved people thought / perceived, explain, talk. This doesn't always have the chance to end in rainbows and rekindling but at least you understand. Sometimes simply hearing the person explain their own side is enough to ease my RSD, being able to have someone explain themselves to me so i can understand them better.
I also wanna point out the "don't take it personally" thing that people try to use to deal with it isn't something i agree with since we're going to take it personally at first regardless. Later on, not really, but you're trying to cope with the symptoms... telling someone (or yourself) that they're too sensitive & over-reacting is the worse thing you could do.
With time, you can even begin to build up your 'armor' and be able to sustain yourself in situations you might get hurt in. Of course, some things may be able to sneak past and hurt you more than you expect, but at the end of the day, you're trying your best to go about it the best you can while taking so many blows. you're doing great.
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OK i dont have a lot more to add so if anyone else would like to talk about their experiences, please feel free! Character showcased here was my beloved fursona Shiki! i'm just a little neurodivergent + black artist from new york :]
hope you enjoyed it! sorry for the long post </3
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arthyritis · 4 months ago
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I have an intellectual disability. Mild bordering on moderate in most areas, according to my diagnosis.
What this means for me is that all sorts of communication gets lost in my brain. I process things slower, social interactions get jumbled, and tasks that I should know how to do sometimes require a little extra help, like eating, cooking, hygiene, etc, but especially things I'm unfamiliar with.
Setting and having non-stagnant reminders handy helps with my scheduling, as in not doing the same things at the same time but instead with a more specific cause, like telling my partner at bedtime that I need to brush my teeth, which is more likely to make me do it, or having food already prepared that I can just heat up instead of cooking a full meal.
With things I'm unfamiliar with (like cooking a new meal, or doing something at someone else's place) it means walking me through it step-by-step. My family friend is blind and has a more specific way of doing things that I'm unequipped for, but that my mom knows, so she tells me what I need to do/where to put things that he'll be able to find them again.
I'm also independent, so sometimes I will struggle to ask for the help I need and will have a freeze response. Comorbid with my AD(H)D and anxiety, this can lead to panic attacks and meltdowns, so it's oftentimes important to pay closer attention to things I'm doing that I am not aware of until after the panic has started.
All this to say, even a "milder" diagnosis requires a lot of help sometimes. MID is my diagnosis but this honestly works for autism and adhd peeps, too. For me, there's an overlap between how my symptoms of MID work with how autism works (something I'm also suspected of having), but with the added bonus of being learning disabled, which autism doesn't guarantee, because that's specifically a developmental disability, while intellectual disability is a learning disability and a developmental disability.
I'm two years diagnosed as of June 30th, I'm learning how to cope with this still. But it remains a disability! Happy disability pride month to my fellow intellectually disabled peeps :)
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So I decided back in September that it is Time. The time has come. I am going to try and get a formal diagnosis for my blatant and provable ADHD, because I am very interested in Doing Laundry
And in my defence it has only taken until this week (late January) to kick things off, which I am very aware should probably be part of the diagnostic criteria
Anyway
I have a plan! For the best chance of being taken seriously. If the university can do their in-house screening of me, I can go to my GP and make the following two points:
I am here because my boss felt I said "But everyone does that" one too many times while discussing the ND students, and she wants me to chase this in case it means she can support me better (I of course am charmingly bemused about it because I personally would never try and get diagnosed, no no, only those attention-seeking fakers do that)
An official educational institution i.e. my employer has in fact initially assessed me and deemed me Medically Distractible. I even have an ALN plan, look. So uhhhhh, maybe my boss is right? (I of course remain charmingly bemused about it because I obviously don't really believe it, no no, I could never be the expert on my own experience, but a Third Party is invested, so...)
Anyway yesterday the uni got in touch, and had me do the initial screening.
Now, they're doing it as part of a wider screening process of learning needs, so they also check you for dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, and autism, as well as ADHD. Plus how good your reading/writing/maths is. Plus they make you do these really fun tests - one was like a classic American spelling bee, one was a spelling test where they read out increasingly lengthy fake words and you had to spell them (we started with "blit", and by the end she was saying things like "unintarcation" and "iffrig-oggonery" and "self-regulating free market" trololol I JEST), and the other was that she'd read out a string of numbers and I had to type them backwards to test my working memory
Good fun, actually. Anyway, my results were mostly completely fine:
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Study skills are good! I mean, we're going orange at the end, look, time management is bad - but that's the ADHD, so expected.
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No problems with the tests! I mean I'm slightly grumpy about the social and communication score going blue, because I'm pretty sure it's because I explained how I was bullied in school, which I feel is more about them than me. But eh.
Dyspraxia was a little less solid- that's the time blindness, I think. Also attention and concentration, that's expected. Maths, lol - that's not medical, I'm just bad at maths.
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The autism testing. Again, mostly fine, but some overlap with ADHD symptoms, so blue instead of green. Makes sense.
And then
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Fucking rinsed.
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daturanerium · 3 months ago
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two hundred pages (56%) into the raven boys. here are my thoughts
i love blue. she's very enjoyable and entertaining but also from a meta/technical standpoint i love how she's written as completely independent of the boys and actively thinks for herself. she's not a #girlboss, she's not love struck, she's not just along for the ride. she has her own thought processes and motivations and and genuine intelligence and she actually acts on it. she feels very real and just as much three dimensional as the boys
noah is 110% a ghost of some kind
ronan went to the church to kill himself while drunk but was saved by the Raven King and now has some sort of sick ass raven powers going on that he doesn't fully know about. or he's like (i'm so so sorry) vax of cr fame where he was saved/made a deal but now is a sort of knight/servant to the raven deity. i think he definitely knows something is different and supernatural about himself but he doesn't know any details
gansey your autism....
actually my diagnosis for all the boys are: gansey autism; ronan adhd; adam transgender; noah differently alive
this book handles rich privilege in a really direct & honest way that is super super refreshing. in an adult book it may come across as too on-the-nose but for YA i think it's perfect. it's so smart for gansey to constantly be trying to help with his money but never be able to understand the complex nuances that come along with money insecurity. the dynamic between the boys and their different relationships with money is soooo interesting to explore and this book is doing it in a way that is understandable for the YA reader (teen) while still treating the reader with respect. it's not dumbed down at all
i'm rooting for adam and blue currently.....they're cute......adam's flowers made me say "aww" out loud
every time theres a chapter with that washed up gay schoolteacher i get soooo bored noah fence. i do not care that u were Once Rich Kids Like Them <3 go touch grass or find a ley line elsewhere
i'm suspecting adam is going to do something drastic to gansey at the end in order to get the favor and secure his future/escape his home life. and you know what? if he does i'm on his side. eat the rich includes gansey unfortunately.
re: that ^^^ i will be crying when it happens
i looooove blue's mom and her aunts so dearly they're so fun and really good side characters
honestly truly this book is so well made and if i had come across it in middle/high school i wouldve been INSUFFERABLE about it
maybe blue has to kiss gansey in order for him to access the spirit plane.....hmm.........
those are some of my thoughts thus far i will keep my loyal followers updated as this journey continues
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orchideous-nox · 1 month ago
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You've been calling yourself autistic without a diagnosis?
Yes.
I feel like this ask implies that self-diagnosis is not valid but in order to identify that you need a diagnosis, you have to self-diagnose to an extent. There's still a lot of stigma around someone calling themselves autistic without a diagnosis, but I'm not doing any harm. I'm not getting any support even though I need it, I don't get any disability benefits. In the UK, it is so difficult to get a diagnosis and you can be on the waiting list for years depending on where you live. My niece tried to get a referral and was told they weren't accepting referrals in our area anymore, it's so shit here at the moment.
✨A little bit of Katie lore here✨
I have been on the general adult autism waitlist since February 2022 (and might not even get my diagnosis until 2025 at this point) so as you can imagine that is a long ass time to deal with life without a diagnosis that allows me to get the support I need. On my mum's side of the family, my brother and sister both have been diagnosed with ADHD as well as cousins who have been diagnosed with autism. There is also diagnosed autism on my dad's side of the family. Neurodivergence is widely accepted at this point as being genetic, or at least you can be genetically predisposed to it, so I don't think I'm reaching. I'm at the point in my life where I can identify my own neurodivergence, I'm 26 years old and I'm aware enough that I can identify symptoms going back into my childhood that I wasn't able to identify then due to lack of education and information at that time. To get a referral, I have to display signs of autism so I'm not just pulling this out of nowhere.
At the end of the day, I don't have to share any of this about myself. My autism is something I am still learning to be open about, it is not an excuse I use and I regularly have to push to advocate for myself as well as hold myself accountable. But if you are trying to suggest that I shouldn't say I'm autistic until I have it on a piece of paper then you are clearly not educated enough on me or the autism diagnosis process to call me out for it.
And if I have misunderstood or misinterpreted this ask then....idk kinda proves my point.
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thebibliosphere · 2 years ago
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I know you aren’t a doctor, but is there anything else that, to your knowledge, tends to get diagnosed by alt-doctors as CIRS?
So this is probably going to piss some people off, but I genuinely believe that CIRS (which as I've talked about before as being... questionable as a diagnosis) is more likely to be a mast cell disorder.
The science and reasoning around CIRS and the obsession with "toxins" and mold is just too vague, and I say that as someone who was at one point diagnosed as CIRS and went through the whole process only to be met with HEAVY resistance from my alt doctors when I wanted to know WHY something was "toxic" and why I wasn't improving despite doing what they recommended.
They couldn't explain it. Thing Just Bad. And if I wasn't improving, it was my fault for not removing enough "toxins" from my environment.
Well, turns out some of those things weren't universally "toxic," I just have an immune disorder (MCAS) that makes them toxic to me, where my body thinks harmless things are a threat-- including my own hormonal cycle!
There was mold killing me, though, that was indeed making my mast cells unstable and sending me into anaphylaxis on a regular basis and causing all kinds of neurological problems. Mast cell stabilizers and removing the mold from my home did more good for me than any of the CIRS treatments.
(Important note: not everyone with MCAS experiences anaphylaxis as a symptom, and it is not a requisite of diagnosis.)
MCAS is not the only form of mast cell dysfunction either. There's also mastocytosis and Hereditary Alpha tryptasemia. You can read more about them at The Mast Cell Disease Society. (There are also different types of MCAS for anyone interested.)
Other things I've seen alt-doctors misdiagnose as CIRS over the years include:
Dysautonimia (high rates of comorbidity with MCAS)
Fibromyalgia (some recent research suggests that mast cells play a role in the onset of fibromyalgia)
ME/CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome)
ADHD
Autism
Celiac Disease
Multiple Chemical Sensitivity Disorder (which I also think is mast cell related, tbh.)
Pernicious Anemia (the other thing that was killing, because my untreated MCAS was stopping me from absorbing nutrients from my food)
Chronic migraines.
SIBO (which can lead to secondary MCAS)
Various different mood disorders
Interstitial Cystitis (also a common symptom of various mast cell disorders)
And I'm sure a couple more I'm just forgetting right now.
Basically, there are a lot of things CIRS could actually turn out to be. But my money is on some form of mast cell fuckery.
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molsno · 5 days ago
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I just finished reading the manga "my brain is different: stories of adhd and other developmental disorders" by monzusu. it's a collection of 9 true stories about living with adhd and other developmental disorders submitted by readers and illustrated into short manga stories. overall, I enjoyed it! I was diagnosed with adhd and started taking medication for it as a young child, and although I haven't been diagnosed with autism (nor do I want to be), I'm certain I have it as well. that being said, I don't feel that I personally learned anything from this manga. however, I think it has the potential to be very useful to a certain audience: mostly, people who might have developmental disorders who haven't been diagnosed and haven't gotten the help they need.
let me be clear. I think that for its target audience, it will do a great job at making them feel understood, and I wouldn't be surprised if people have finally been able to find a word for the conditions they've been struggling with all their lives and seek help as a result because of this manga. there are nine stories, and they present a wide range of experiences with things like adhd, autism, and learning disorders like dyslexia. it demonstrates the ways that people suffer from these conditions and shows how through a diagnosis, a supportive environment, accommodations, and sometimes medication, many of these people are able to take control of their lives.
however, I have some issues with it. most notably, there's an emphasis on the benefits of diagnosis. I don't deny that for some people, a clinical diagnosis can genuinely significantly improve their lives. it's important to keep in mind, though, that the field of psychiatry is designed to gatekeep resources from people. I understand that this manga was written for a japanese audience, and I have no doubt that the process of getting prescribed adhd medication in japan is different from where I live, the usa. however, I can personally say that even as someone who has been diagnosed with adhd and prescribed medication for almost 20 years, it is still extremely difficult to receive medication for it not just due to my government's draconian restrictions on it, but also the psychiatric industry itself.
on top of that, it doesn't really delve into the downsides of getting a clinical diagnosis for many psychiatric disorders. for example, the reason I don't want to get an autism diagnosis, despite it potentially allowing me to receive accommodations for it, is because it would make it significantly easier to discriminate against me. many countries explicitly will not allow you to immigrate if you have an autism diagnosis on your record; not to mention, you can have legal rights taken away from you if you're determined to not be mentally sound. I think that it's irresponsible to recommend diagnosis without warning of the ways that it can actually be detrimental.
that brings me to another point. while a diagnosis can be helpful to some people in allowing them access to accommodations they need to participate in society, this manga doesn't really question why those accommodations are denied to people without them. nor does it really interrogate the causes that make living with these disorders so difficult to begin with. certainly, it shows the ways that the people in these stories are discriminated against, but the elephant in the room remains unaddressed: capitalism.
I'm not going to claim that capitalism is the only reason why people with developmental disorders struggle in life, because I don't believe that's true. even without capitalism, I would still have a hard time with remembering things, sticking with projects, regulating my attention, and connecting with others. however, capitalism exacerbates all of these problems and more because it demands everyone be a productive employee who focuses on their work, adheres to strict deadlines, completes tasks at a frantic pace, and obeys all rules without asking questions. it is debilitating to live under capitalism with developmental disorders, and it's no surprise that many of us can't do it. objectively, without capitalism, many of us would have a significantly easier time living, and our conditions would be a lot more manageable. unfortunately, "my brain is different" doesn't really acknowledge this fact.
this is problematic, because it also doesn't acknowledge class at all. while monzusu expresses optimism over the fact that developmental disorders are being discussed more publicly in recent times and more and more tools are being created to help those with adhd and other developmental disorders, she doesn't speak about how these accommodations don't actually matter for those who can't access them because they can't afford to. for example, it would be great if I never had to vacuum the floor again, but I don't have enough money to buy a roomba.
one of the commonalities I noticed between some of the stories is that the people within them never seriously faced even the threat of homelessness, despite many of them struggling to get or keep jobs, usually because they had financial support from their parents. I would have liked some acknowledgement that for many of us, this isn't an option, and that if we don't work, we'll become homeless and possibly starve to death. this is not an uncommon problem faced by people with developmental disorders, and it feels negligent not to portray it in this compilation of stories.
I also find it lacking in its depictions of developmental disorders after people receive treatment. it does go into this a little bit, but generally, it portrays treatment and especially medication as almost universally positive, and as the end of the story. personally, I can say that being medicated for my adhd has made a huge impact on my life, and it's the only reason I have a college degree, but it is not a silver bullet that solves all of my problems. I still struggle with executive dysfunction, procrastination, attention regulation, rejection sensitivity, and more; my medication just makes these symptoms significantly more manageable. I also still face discrimination for having adhd and being autistic, because... my brain is different! and no medication is going to change that. people don't like that I'm neurodivergent, and it makes it hard to make friends and secure employment. I would have liked monzusu to emphasize that treatment, while sometimes helpful, can't solve every problem we face.
I know I'm criticizing this manga a lot for its faults, and they are quite significant, but overall, I did still enjoy it. I think that some people would benefit tremendously from reading it, and not just people with undiagnosed developmental disorders. I actually think parents and teachers would do well to read it, as there were a few stand-out moments of good role modeling in it.
for example, in the fourth story, hanako-san demonstrates a level of open communication with her autistic son, tarou, unlike most parents, such as when she sets up an agreed-upon time with him for him to stop watching tv so he can brush his teeth and take a bath. she recognizes that he'll learn better if he understands the rules he has to follow and agrees with them, so she does her best to communicate these things with him directly, and stands up to other family members when they criticize the way she raises him. similarly, the ninth story did an excellent job showing how yoshiko-san became a teacher for students with special needs while having multiple developmental disorders of her own, and how the elder teacher she worked with demonstrated how she can meet these kids where they're at with patience and understanding so she can best learn how to help them with their individual problems. I don't believe that the problems we face can truly be solved by individuals, but having supportive, understanding people in our lives can have a huge impact.
overall, while I do generally recommend "my brain is different", I have to do so cautiously. while I think it's good to give people a beginner's guide to understanding adhd and other developmental disorders, it cannot be anything more than a jumping-off point. if anyone sees themselves in this manga and wants to seek a diagnosis, I HEAVILY suggest doing more research to decide if that would genuinely be something worth pursuing, as this manga portrays it entirely as a good thing without mentioning any of the potential risks of doing so.
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self-dx-culture-is · 11 months ago
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Welcome Post
This blog is inclusive of everyone who has a self-dx! All submissions should start with "Self dx/diagnosed culture is" (or a more specific version, such as "self dx autistic culture is").
I will ignore any posts asking me to diagnose them (as I'm not qualified), and I request that no one ask for help in self-diagnosis either. If I can find reliable resources, I will link them below, under the cut.
Feel free to vent, but let me now so I can tag it appropriately. If you would like, you may also request that reblogs and/or comments be turned off for that post.
Anons are welcome!
EDIT:
Since we've been getting some lately, I wanted to state that while I have nothing against sending people financial aid, that is not the purpose of this blog and we personally are uncomfortable sending money over the internet due to paranoia. If we start getting too many, we probably will start deleting them as it's somewhat stressful to even post them for others to see the request. This is not directed at anyone and is just a general statement so everyone is aware.
---
Claimed Anons may be found here(link)!
My Extensive (/sarc) DNI
NSFW content and blog followers (this makes us very uncomfortable)
If you come here just to spread hate or fakeclaiming, including anyone who uses "narc/histrionic/antisocial/borderline abuse" or uses "[all Cluster B terms]", "delusional", "insane", etc. as insults or otherwise misuses them.
Anyone who encourages harm relating to any disorder (e.g. pro ana, pro contact)
Transid (Transabled, transage, transrace, etc.). People with BIID are not included in this and are welcomed to interact.
(More may be added if incidents arise.)
About the Blog Owner:
We are an endogenic system and may be collectively called (the) Werewolf Pack. Our collective pronouns are She/They.
We have professionally diagnosed Amblyopia, Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, and Avoidant Personality Disorder. We have self-diagnosed Synesthesia and Visual Snow Syndrome, and are questioning Schizotypal Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Autism, and ADHD.
Base Account: @kpopwerewolf(link)
Tagging System:
All posts will either be tagged as either "self dx culture is" or "not culture is"
All triggers are tagged as: "tw [trigger]"
Vents are tagged as both: "tw vent" & "vent"
Positivity posts are tagged as: "positivity"
Negative posts are tagged as both: "negative" & "negativity"
Discourse/Syscourse will be tagged as: "tw discourse / "tw syscourse"
Tagging for promo: @paranoia-culture-is, @abnormalcultureis, @ndcultureis, @adhd-culture-is, @adhd-culture--is, @autism-culture-is. @autistic-culture-is, @depression-culture-is, @disabled-culture-is, @dyslexia-culture-is, @dyscalculia-culture-is, @no-empathy-culture-is, @ocd-culture-is, @posic-culture, @tourettes-culture-is, @schizospec-culture-is, @schizotypalpd-culture-is, @schizoid-culture-is, @schizopositivity, @synesthete-culture-is, @cluster-a-pds, @cluster-c-pds-culture-is, @cluster-b-culture-is, @ppd-culture-is, @aspd-culture, @bpd-culture-is, @hpdcultureis, @narcissisticpdcultureis, @avpdcultureis, @dpdcultureis
(If you want your link removed let me know!)
Resources:
DSM-5.pdf - Google Drive(link)
(Plurality:)
https://morethanone.info/(link)
What Is Plurality? – Plurality Resource(link)
powertotheplurals.com | Resource & articles for everymany - Dissociative identity disorder and other forms of plurality.(link)
More will be added as found! Feel free to suggest resources you've found helpful yourself!
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yawpyawp · 29 days ago
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autism non-diagnosis venting
honestly i’m really devastated to hear this test guy say it’s JUST adhd + depression and not also autism because i’m ALREADY BEING TREATED FOR ADHD/DEPRESSION AND THE TREATMENT ISNT WORKING? LIKE I GET WORSE WITH TIME :(
(also it's like,,,statistically unusual to NOT have ASD in my family)
he was like "conclusively i think you don't have autism bc all of ur autistic traits show up as sub-clinical when it comes to A. attention span, B. social skills, and C. neuroplasticity"
(despite the fact that i am A. diagnosed ADHD, B. a formerly high-masking AFAB person who is captivated by the mysteries of socialization/communication, C. a designer who actively practices flexible thinking every day)
and the clinician basically was like “i literally don’t have anything else to suggest to you but to keep trying the same things u have already been doing”
i’ve literally been doing these treatments since i was 19 (i'm 32!!!) and i have gotten WORSE. i've done HUNDREDS of hours of the kind of therapy the clinician suggested i do as a next step, like HUNDREDS of hours of CBT
and then he was like 'this looks like u just have adhd + trauma' ('the car crash when u were 5 is why u have sensory problems and u can't have close relationships') BUT I HAVE DONE HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF THERAPY TRYING TO ASSESS THIS AND THE THERAPY SUGGESTED I DON'T HAVE ACCUTE TRAUMA!!! i literally did MONTHS of group therapy IN A TRAUMA GROUP!!!! and the conclusion was that THAT is not my experience!!!!!
(to be fair i have also experienced HEAD TRAUMA cuz i had two concussions as a kid lol so i guess early childhood TBI is another route to explore lol because my other next step is TMS and i don't wanna do the brain magnets)
but basically i feel like i'm just going in circles
i literally don't know where to go from here???? like i just have to keep feeling like this???
i feel like i learned NOTHING in this process other than i’m not trying hard enough to function and i want to literally unalive myself lololo i'm literally fucking DONE i am bringing back the diagrams
ANYWAY i asked this guy follow up questions for 1.5 hrs (we were scheduled for 45 mins) and based on his reaction to my questions i feel like i was LAWYERING him by asking critical questions about how he arrived at his conclusions. like after i literally googled "am i a psychopath?" and took one of those online quizzes because i was like 'wow dod i go too hard on trying to get this expert to bend to MY pov?'
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itsaspectrumcomic · 7 months ago
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hi im really sorry to bother you, and obvs you dont need to answer this at all im just some internet guy lol but do you think i could get some advice?
so ive been diagnosed with autism for like, 5 years (was diagnosed p late, in comparison to others) and im beginning to have some real goddamn big suspicions that i Also have adhd (because. yaknow. the gift that keeps on giving yk? lol). i have a lot of really major issues with executive dysfunction that is directly impacting schoolwork and also a lot of stuff in my life, generally. ive also got a lot of memory issues nd junk
and the thing is; ive got a therapist, but due to a whole slew of things im really scared to like, bring this up with her yk? and, like, im a minor so i cant exactly just seek it out myself yk? and i cant really talk to my parents about it because my mom is a very specific kind of vaguely ableist and my dad generally just isnt involved with that whole section of my being, yk? like, he doesnt manage any of my therapy, aside from bringing me to appointments when my mother isnt available.
and like, ive brought certain things UP to my therapist before and it went mostly ok, aside from one pretty distressing misunderstanding but it feels different for this one because i really do need medication for this, i feel. and thats a whole thing with my mother specifically, since at the start of the whole diagnosis process she outright refused the idea of medication and like. idk man, im so super sorry to write a whole bullshit essay when you're literally just vibing but yk. idk who else to ask lol, and you seem like you know what youre doing i guess?
real sorry. thanks in advance. insert other applicable signoff message here
I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Your therapist should be someone you can talk to about things like this but I understand being anxious about it. Are you afraid to bring it up because she's said ableist/anti-adhd stuff in the past or you have reason to suspect she won't help? If that's the case I really recommend trying to get a different therapist if you can. You deserve a therapist you feel safe sharing things like this with.
If it's impacting schoolwork it might be worth talking to your teachers to see if there's any additional support you can get from them. You don't have to tell them you suspect ADHD if you don't want to, you can just tell them you've been struggling with certain aspects of school and hopefully they can help. School is hard for lots of people so know you're not alone.
It might be different where you live, but in the UK you're able to make your own doctors appointments if you're over 16 so asking a doctor about getting a referral for a diagnosis/medication could be an option as well. Although waiting lists for that are incredibly long at the moment - I've personally been waiting nearly a year just to get an appointment 🙃
In the meantime, have you heard of How to ADHD on YouTube? Her channel has lots of videos with advice and various discussions about living with ADHD which you might find helpful.
Sorry I don't know if that helped much but I hope you're able to get support soon!
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my-autism-adhd-blog · 8 months ago
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I can’t figure out if I have inattentive adhd or not.
example, when I go to a store I get distracted and buy things I don't need
or I space out due to being bored
I can’t watch a 20 minute video in one sitting
my thoughts will be constantly going, sometimes nonsensical other times thinking of things in disorganized patterns, except I feel tired. I'm not hyperactive at all.
I can’t get myself to clean.
What resources can help me figure this out? I am a person with autism as well.
Hi there,
I’m not a medical professional, but my best advice would be to look at the DSM-5 and see what traits/characteristics.
You can write down what traits/characteristics you think are similar to ADHD traits.
If you want, you can seek a professional diagnosis. But there can be pros and cons to that. If you’re a student needing accommodations, then I would recommend getting evaluated.
Maybe my followers can chime in too and give their advice.
Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️
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kaonarvna · 18 days ago
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Going through so much right now. Barely have the capacity to do much of anything aside from work and take care of myself and my spouse.
Autistic burnout is truly a cruel mistress. As is having undiagnosed ADHD, knowing what your unmet needs are, and not having the means to access the support you require.
Big vent below. Workplace ableism. ADHD/AuDHD vent.
My spouse is quitting his job again. It happens every year. We've only just now realised "oh my god, it's the autism. It was always the autism" for why he keeps hopping.
He's leaving the current job because they're failing to give him what seems like the most basic accommodations (written instructions, scheduled meetings/literally any notice instead of impromptu "informal chats" in hallways with no record, basic empathy).
He's being told off for "speaking too loudly" and "speaking too enthusiastically" even though all he's talking about with his colleagues is work. They took away his office to turn it into a meeting room, forced him into the communal office space, and have now told him to stop talking to himself or his colleagues.
It's heartbreaking. It's been slowly creeping in for months and it's taken too long for us to realise "oh my god, you need a diagnosis, this is just fucking discrimination, you need formal accommodations and support".
So he's off on the sick now because his stress has become so severe that he just can't function. Before he got the sick note he'd come home and crash every day, and dreaded going to work. He role-played being a warhammer 40k servitor (lobotomised and obedient worker drone, basically) to help him get through the day of staying quiet and doing nothing but work. He'd come home and need so much sensory input and support. And he slept so much, and so poorly. He started to "fail the speech checks" (massively miss social cues and say the wrong thing) with colleagues at work, and came home embarrassed in ways he never was before. He's a very very social animal, and didn't think he had social difficulties, but now he's so worn down that he's realised he does.
He can't mask anymore. He's so tired.
And now that he got that sick note, and plans to leave, he's not dreading waking up each day nearly as much. He's still in the sensory sock every day, and he's still sad and overwhelmed, but he's feeling better.
We've started the process of getting him a diagnosis, but it's going to take months and months and months. We don't really have months. We're going to start applying for new jobs for him, and hopefully get him out of labs. You'd think a chemical laboratory would be the perfect place for an autistic man who loves STEM, but management has always made it unworkable for him. He's always slowly forced out.
And I can barely take care of him, between working full time and having EDS. And I've finally realised I desperately need that ADHD diagnosis, and I need meds. I haven't felt like a person in so long. I haven't felt like myself in years. I feel like this abstract creature inside this horrible prison, and the controls don't work anymore.
Every mental health professional I've seen has asked me, "Have you ever been assessed for ADHD? You've already adopted all the coping mechanisms and lifestyle changes I could recommend. I can't diagnose you, but yknow, think about it."
I've always suspected it. I know I'm autistic. All signs point to ADHD too.
I looked back on every stimulant I've put in my body, and realised that all of them made my brain emptier. They all gave me more control. I was always more able to make choices and act upon them. But I used to associate that with the pain relief (think kratom, nefopam, etc) not the stimulant.
So when I got my pain mostly under control, and I manage it now, I couldn't figure out why I still had so little control over myself.
It's the fucking ADHD.
How much time have I lost to being undiagnosed and unmedicated? How much of my life has slipped down the drain while I paced back and forth, or laid in place "stuck", or ping ponged from incomplete task to incomplete task until I crashed? How much more pleasure could I have experienced if my brain wasn't full of constant noise and thirty different versions of the same thought?
How much have I hurt myself by going "you're fine, you don't need meds" for so many years?
I don't know how long it's going to take to get diagnosed. I've started the process and now we just...wait. But all the evidence points to "yes", and that "meds will probably work and make a massive difference for your quality of life". I might get to be a person someday, or at least a more fulfilled creature.
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foster-the-world · 27 days ago
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Ready
Ready for the weekend. I put in some overtime this week so I already felt like yesterday was Friday. Working hard to accumulate 40 hours so I can take the girls on a fun vacation next summer.
Wishing we had off work so we could be at home enjoying our children instead of paying a lot of money for a sitter. He's going to take them to see Wild Robot today. I wanted to see it but we can go again if they like it. All day alone with all three is tough so I'm glad they have something to do. We also left out the girls bike/baby boys scooter.
I'm getting my hair done tmrw. Alone time = wonderful. Sunday the girls and my husband are going to a cool museum. His cousin got them tickets for Bee's bday. I'm thinking I'll take baby boy somewhere fun outside. We are both scheduled to get the Covid/Flu shot on Sunday night. Bee has an annual physical on Tuesday. We called to see if she could get the Covid shot. They said they won't know until the day off. =Annoying.
We are checking in with the doctor about Bee still wearing a diaper at night. The internet and past visits tell me no one worries until 12yos. She just turned 8. We assumed eventually the problem would disappear but it has not. She has had constipation issues in the past. We have recently started having her stop drinking an hour before bedtime, go to the bathroom right before and then my husband has her go again around 11pm. Her diapers are still full. She doesn't seem bothered. I'd totally leave it alone if it wasn't for sleepaway camp. I didn't even think about it when we signed up. We may try the drug to see if it works. I think we would only do it for camp and a test run beforehand. The internet tells me some kids are able to put a diaper on right before bed without anyone noticing. Not sure we want her to do have to feel like she has to hide. But also don't want kids making fun of her. Let's see what the doctor says.
I've been listening to the ADHD Dude podcast. Personally, I think I am more into their philosophy then the idea of "kids do well when they can, don't force kids, plan C everything for as long as needed" philosophies. The two can come off as obnoxious know it all's but when I get past that I think their authoritative/loving parenting style fits more with my personal ideas. Maybe its a Midwestern thing - my parents were def a little tough but extremely loving with us. I believe it has served me well. I def find the balance really difficult - especially with baby boy who has some very real challenges. But for now I'd like to have high expectations for all three of them. They don't believe in PDA at all. They believe the social media PDA people are preying off parents who are seeking any answer. Baby boy doesn't present with those PDA symptoms so luckily I don't have to worry about it. At least not, yet. He will completely ignore our request but he's not very oppositional. They also brush off sensory processing disorder. Or rather it as a stand alone diagnosis. They say its just a part of autism or ADHD. Which I can agree with.
After a rough month with him he's now been doing really well. Although he has been fighting sleep at night. I assume getting back to the normal school schedule is good for him. We've been running the track most nights. He zooms past so many people. I started putting the cones out - so he can jump over them.
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