#i'm posting it now so you have it as soon as possible

[tan1shere]

I HAVE A..A FUN LITTLE IDEA!

what if sugar mommy billie x sugarbaby reader and like billie loves buying things for reader and loves just buying stuff for her and reader is kinda a bimbo but the public thinks they are polar opposite best friends. not knowing that same night reader put lingerie on that billie bought for her and billie tear it off to eat her out then later fuck her (with strap)

crazy big brain moment when thinking about if i should be a sugar baby or not

A Little Secret

Sugar mommy Billie Eilish x sugar baby fem reader !

A/n: duhrrr omg I adore this, and GURL you're so very real for that last statement 😫 I really hope I did a good job !!!! And that you like it 😊

Summary: it was all top secret what you and billie truly were. Definitely not just friends.

Warnings: Slight age difference ? (B30,R21) fingerings, eating out, let me know if i missed anything !!

Masterlist

You could come out and just say that the two of you are dating. But people would soon realize there was something more going on. So. You both had to keep it as secret as possible. Not to mention how obvious the age gap was.

And you managed to, it was especially hard when you wanted to post and flaunt all the pretty gifts she'd get you. All you wanted to do was show how thankful you were of her. You wanted to show her off even if the situation wasn't as normal so you two see it. But you both didn't care, you were insanely happy.

One day you were getting ready to go out to the mall. You open your car door to be met with some roses and a prezzie. With a note from Billie saying.

"I wanna be the reason you slightly tilt your phone away from others when you read it" - Have a good day sweet angel ;)

That was a constant thing she'd do, leaving gifts for you, especially with a cheeky note.

"Hey Bub, look what I got." She says with the widest grin. "Whatcha get." You say sitting up from the couch. She had a black handbag in hand, it was beautiful. She turns it around, smirking as your eyes gleam at the designer symbol. You look at her, looking at that sexy smirk of hers, her eyes. You quite literally pounce at her, kissing her lips. "This is gorgeous Bill!" You beamed as you go to grab it, looking at it. The compartments.

"Exactly like you baby." You blush ever so slightly, as you keep looking at it. You were truly mesmerized. "You can use it for our date night tomorrow." She then says leaning on the couch. "Where are we going!?" You had so much enthusiasm she adored it. It made her feel truly happy. "It's a surprise my love." You sit there and think for a moment. "Alright, but I know wherever it is I'll love it." She smiles more. "I know you will."

Tonight was the night, you were currently in the bathroom lining your lips before you put the soft red lipstick on. She comes up behind you, kissing your neck. "You look so good. Smell great too." You giggle as her breath tickles your skin. "So do you!" She soon looks at you through the mirror. "Kinda don't even want to go for food now, I mean. You look pretty tasty." She bites your neck, causing another giggle to rumble from you. "Bill." - "You'll be calling me something completely different by the time I'm done with you."

A blush spreads widely across your cheeks, even more considering the slight blush you already wore. She then turns you around once your lipstick was applied. Grabbing your hand gently and kissing it. "Howd I get so lucky. Daym." You kiss her cheek. "I'm so grateful for you." You say sweetly. "Ready?" You nod as she takes your hand in hers again, taking you to the car.

The place she took you to was beautiful, the building was dimly lit. Only source of light was coming from a few on the ceiling, and the tall, skinny candles on the tables. You and Billie sit down, tucking your feet under the red velvet table cloth. Billie would always make sure the places she took you to were secluded. Just in case any eyes saw. Of course it could've been just two friends. But with the way you two were both dressed, a blind man would spot that from a mile away.

The evening was great, everything so still, calm and quiet. Soaking up the luxury of the building and the atmosphere. When you were both ready to go she grabs your hand leading you out to the car, like always she opens the door for you. Letting you get in before it closes, and she's making her way to the driver's side.

The ride is peaceful you had the window rolled down enjoy the slight breeze. You then get the idea to stick your head out, maneuvering your body out of the seat belt, having your back slightly out of the car. Having it rest there. Your hands grip the upper part of the car, leaning your head back as the wind blows through your hair. But as you got into the position you're in currently. You were unaware of the fact your dress had ridden up ever so slightly. Giving Billie the most perfect view of your black lace underwear.

Specifically the ones she bought you just recently. You hadn't worn them yet so it cones as a surprise to her eyes. She had to stay focused on driving but God how it hugged your pussy so delicately. She couldn't tear her eyes away. She eventually did, knowing you guys were almost home. The things this woman was about to do. She truly wasn't kidding earlier on.

That's exactly how you ended up here, sprawled on the black fuzzy sheets. The softness of the fabric against you skin only adding to Billies actions. Which currently was teasing. Your whine was heard for maybe the 5th time now. But she needed to savor this. Your taste your scent. Her face was right infront of your cunt, having her nose bump your clit purposefully. Sending you absolutely mental.

"Billie-" Your whiney voice echoed throughout her ears, her mind. Her soul. And all movement stops. Her eyes look straight up at you warningly. Your breath only gets caught in your throat, knowing where you fucked up. But too fucked out to correct. Her figure was still as anything, awaiting the propper words. Until you're whining again. Her head just shakes.

"That's no way to talk to me sweetheart." Her finger taps your thigh gently. "Do you not want this?" She knew damn well you did, but she needed you to say the word, needed you to address her properly.

"What do you call me baby. Go on, be good."

A small whimper is heard. Her finger slowly coming in line with your entrance making you snap out of your dazed state.

"Mommy."

"Louder." Her finger slides into you.

"Mommy!" You screech slightly, having your mouth hang open.

"Good. Girl."

She notices your reaction as she kisses around your pussy. "Don't forget to breathe." She whispers sexily, so slow with her words too. Her own breath fanning against the skin of your swollen cunt.

And that's all it took, for her fingers to move so insanely fast inside you. Her mouth coming to suck on your pussy lips, biting just a tiny bit. Your head flew back again, eventually feeling her soft hands move up your torso, so slowly, every action. Reaching a breast and squeezing. Your head starts to spin, her movements rapid.

Everything was happening in the speed of light as your orgasm approaches quick. Sending your head right back into the pillows as her tongue relentlessly moves against your clit. "Mommy, please let me cum.. please." Your breath was nothing but short finding any thought in your brain to be dead. She hums against you the vibrations not helping with the fact you had to hold on, until she grants you that permission you so helplessly need. "Mommy!" You scream out. "Cum." She growls against you.

Billie was so caught up in it she actually hadn't heard your voice asking. Her hands were gripped tightly around your thighs most definitely creating a mark. The way you smelt was like a drug, addictive. And the taste she could already feel on the tip of her tongue. "Need more." She then moans into you, desperate to taste you properly. You hadn't even overcome the last euphoric feeling.

When you feel her tongue stick deep inside you. Your eyes roll all the way back at this new feeling, her tongue was so warm and wet. Mixing with your previous orgasm. The way you tasted makes her own eyes roll back. If anything she was enjoying this more than you. Not to say you weren't, wriggling with pleasure underneath her. "T-too m-uhg!" A moan gets caught along your words as her finger move to spread your folds open, wide. Her tongue moving in and out of you faster. You were so loose currently and she was adoring it.

Loving how easily her tongue was slipping in. Your hole feeling stretched around her tongue. You begin to shake as the second one is coming, her nose bumping your clit as she moves. Making your brain fuzz over with pure pleasure. You gush into her mouth having her drink you like a thirsty dog, your body giving out in the process. She could care less that you didn't ask. Cuz like an addict she's not stopping tonight. Or ever.

She was going to drink you dry.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

all im saying is ✨Logan with a knot✨ and Wade overstimulating you bc you cant get away -🦐

shrimp anon more like shrimp COLORS bro your vision is INSANE!!!!!!

soooo idk conventional a/b/o rules and i kinda don't care so im picturing a heat cycle as once a month endeavour. and bc you're on T you're a HORNY motherfucker and you're angry and violent so it's basically whoever can get their hands on you or knot in you first will take care of you. then as long as you get bred at least once you're fine. then you calm down and it's big aftercare hours bc your post-heat clarity endorphins are going CRAZY

now since your heat only comes once a month, wade treats it as a special occasion. and it wouldn't be fair of him to do the honors EVERY month, now would it?

so even though he's home with you, and logan's not, and won't be for a while, wade wilson will refuse to fuck you. it's not his turn. he did it last month.

and your heat is MISERABLE. imagine the worst period cramp you ever had, combined with hot flashes, searing rage, and it gives your cunt the sensitivity of a fucking bear trap. you'll clamp down on anything that touches you.

so no matter how much you suffer. no matter if you scream, cry, beg, grovel, bite, or commit acts of gratuitous violence against him.

he will hold out.

he will hold out until logan gets home and finds you naked, cuffed to the bed by your hands and ankles, a chewy ball-gag in your mouth getting crushed by your gritting teeth, and wade's holding a wand vibrator to your cunt.

he waves gayly at logan, "hey pinkie pie, merry christmas! wanna come open your gift?"

"jesus christ, are you fucking torturing him?! the hell is wrong with you?!"

"with ME?! where's your holiday spirit?"

logan just stares at him blankly, puzzled by what this psychotic dipshit could possibly be talking about. in response, and in the spirit of the season, wade sings him a song.

"🎼it's the mooost wonderful tiiiiime, of the mooonth~!🎵"

now he gets it.

"oh... okay. so then why did you tie him down like that?"

"well, we had a little INCIDENT earlier..."

--

you had managed to grab one of wade's guns and shot him in the chest

"OW!!! you RESOURCEFUL little shit!!! GRRR, oh~ mysweetboybabydarling i'msoproudofyou, butnoi'mnot, BAD BOY!!!"

--

"no, i mean why didn't you take care of him your-fucking-self, wilson? you really gotta make this my problem as soon as i walk in the fuckin' door?"

"your PROBLEM?! i hand you some prime-time, limited-edition, hot and bothered, ripe for the breeding, tranny boy BUSSY on a silver platter, and that's somehow NOT where your dick wants to spend its evening? am i hearing that right? please tell me i'm not. please tell me you're not this stupid, pookie bear."

instead of arguing back, logan goes quiet. he's thinking. and then, he laughs. that low, husky laugh that you have when you're marveling at the nerve of whatever dumb motherfucker is talking to you. or maybe, when that dumb motherfucker is making a point.

"heh... y'know what? fine." logan angrily strips his clothes off, one by one. his tanktop, "you want me to be the one to knot him? huh?" his belt, his jeans "can't do anything yourself, can ya?" and lastly, his boxers. then he grabs his cock and shakes it at wade.

"so then get me hard, you faggot." he clicks his tongue twice. "c'mon."

wade throws himself at logan's knees and gives him that gawkgawk4000turbotyphoon treatment to get him up. logan sighs in relaxation, grateful that wade was putting his mouth to such better use. once his eyes flutter open, he nods at you, finally giving you even a modicum of attention while you're under intense distress, and he merely waves at you nonchalantly, like how a pedestrian does to a car that lets him cross.

"hang tight, bub. be with ya in a second."

wade works him over until his knot is just barely starting to swell. he then takes his fattened cock and slaps wade across the face with it.

"take his chains off."

"hm... are you sure you want me to do that, princess? he's feisty, y'know. might get yourself bit, if you're not careful."

logan slaps wade again, but this time it's a bitchslap, using the back of his hand. and his claws.

"take. his fucking. chains off."

"mmm, right AWAY, your majesty~!"

[jackie-mae]

with your outfit drawings for the mystreet character. im so curious about with vylad having outfits for s2-s6, if you want can you expand upon on that?

I WOULD LOVE TOO >:3c

Long and Short of it is I've always hated how Vylad was there in Mystreet S1, PDH S1 and then he just... dropped off the face of the earth after that. It always irked me a bit when it would show Garroth and Zane having brotherly bonding moments (and trauma) and always having the thought of (Man wasn't there a third brother in all this?) there in the back of my mind.

I'm now going to do some little bullet points of my Vylads role in S2-6 but this is a great time to mention I've never seen past S4 so I'm running on Wiki Lore and the gospel of AO3 and @catzgam3rz; who collaborates (Read: Infodump and Ramble) on a hypothetical rewrite with me so it gets vague and murky for the later seasons.

S1:

Basically the same as canon (as in S1 is kinda just slice of life) but instead of Vylad just travelling around the world he is an off the grid hunter that wanders the wilderness all the time (The freak)

This is based on my very fuzzy memories of MCD Vylad always kinda just being in trees as he watched Lady Aphmau in the early seasons so I just put Mystreet Vylad in trees for fun this time

Has a vaguely similar relationship to his brothers as in MCD. in the sense it's better with Garroth and more strained with Zane

S2:

Goes to LLP with the rest of the main cast (which consists of the 11 big designs I made) because season 2 is not when you should be writing out characters Jessica

He wears little rainboots and unlike Laurance (Who FYI wears cowboy boots a majority of the time) the rest of the cast did not get him into flip flops before he went trudging into the ocean (again a freak)

I like to imagine that if any drama is going on in the story you could always see him floating around on an inner tube off in the distance

S3:

Again back to slice of life so he does a lot of shenanigans with the cast here

This is the season where the shadow knights feature but for the life of me, I cannot remember if Vylad was officially a part of them or not (And his Wikia is not even a paragraph~) But if it turns out he was there'll probably be more shenanigans around that.

He ends up leaving mid-season (Fall ish?) to go on a hunting expedition

S4:

Oh hey look Vylad is back because we don't believe in writing characters off with little rhyme or reason Jessica

Vylads hunting expedition ends up being in the same area as the lodge. and we all know nothing bad happens there!

there's now a little ski village downhill from the lodge which is where Vylad is staying at seasons start. He's good friends with a lot of the people there.

He's a werewolf now... Don't worry about it!

Oh, what's this? Is that relationship building between him and Zane on the horizon? Well, that won't hurt at all, will it?

AY:

A not-alone buddy comforts his not-alone buddy (I do not know much about Aphmau's Year but know it's short so that's all I got)

S5:

As he is a part of the Lodge crew he gets to go to Starlight!

Possibly is involved in a certain shenanigan with his brothers I'll be posting a comic about that in a few days

Get's lost constantly. Figures Starlight being an island means he can't really get lost since he'll hit ocean eventually and refuses to acknowledge how big said island is.

Doesn't float around like in S2 but you can still find him wading on the shore in his boots

being a hyperattentive freak, he get's some bad vibes from the island sooner than most

S6

Gonna be honest, me and Catz have not watched all of When angels fall but are planning to soon so I'll just leave you with the fun fact that all of my season 6 designs are supposed echo my MCD's designs for the characters (Since S6 is when it was decided hey maybe Diaries is really important here now)

TLDR: Vylad was shafted in Mystreet so I'm fix it

[what-the-stories-have-foretold]

heyyy i Hope you have a good day <3

I really hope i dont make you feel um , uncomfortable with that or anything but uh you can totally ignore this but i recently got sick and i have a emetophobia which is why i got a Panic attack .Aswell i have way too much homework and exams to do so i had a really tough start in the Week . Also i had to call my School to Tell them that i won't able to make it there and then i needed to Go to The doctor but they Just sent me away :/

I hope i m Not wrong for calling this a emergency requests .

Please just some comfort with shuichi and/or rei furuya Just comforting The Reader mabye?Mabye they make an appointment for them at the doctor?Insted of the Reader after having a hard time doing so?

Thanks a Lot ,youre work really makes me Happy <3

Take youre time and it IS totally fine to ignore this !<3

Stay hydrated and have a good Week!

Oh no, I hope everything gets better soon 🥺

I'm keeping it slightly vague so I don't make any mistakes - if I still make some, let me know, I'll fix it right away 💕

Take care of yourself and remember to rest when you need to 💕💕💕

Akai x gn!reader, Furuya x gn!reader

Warnings: only slightly edited (i read it through once while already laying in bed 😅) exam/homework stressed and sick (relatively unspecified) reader, implied panic attack in the (not so long ago) past (also mention of hacking?)

"Baby, let me." Shuichi took the phone gently from your hands. "Just sit down and let me handle the call, okay?"

"But-"

He shook his head and led you to the couch, heavy hand resting comfortably on your lower back.

"You've been pacing the room for ages, sweetheart. I'd prefer it if you laid down so your body can get some well-needed rest and you get better soon."

You bit your lower lip, looking at him with uncertainty in your eyes.

"What about my exams."

He hummed, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

"Don't worry about it, yeah? It won't get better if you stress yourself. Just - relax for a while, and I'll take care of the rest."

You murmured an 'okay' as you nuzzled against his stomach. Maybe a small nap really wouldn't hurt.

He sighed when he saw you slumped over your homework.

"You need to take a break," he said while he lightly massaged your shoulders to relieve you off at least some of the tension.

"I can't, you know that."

He clicked his tongue, but stayed undeterred, simply turning your chair for you to face him. Your eyes widened in surprise.

"Don't be stupid," he murmured while his hands moved to cup your cheeks so that his thumbs could brush over your skin. "You need to rest, sweetheart." He hummed for a moment, as he thought. "How about this? I'll look over your stuff and choose the tasks that I think will appear in the exam. We can go through them together later. I'll do the rest of your homework after."

"You say that as if you didn't need rest yourself," you chuckled tiredly.

He smiled and kissed your nose.

"Nah. I've got a lot of energy still left in me. So just let me hold you while you take your power nap. I promise everything will look a lot less bleak when you wake up again."

(Btw both of them may hack your teachers' computers to either delete some documents so your workload lightens or to view your exams and thus be able to prepare you as efficiently and perfectly as possible - by giving you the solutions 👀)

[sisterdivinium]

I did some gushing over WN on Dreamwidth for the Snowflake Challenge if anyone is interested.

[skunkes]

hi im gonna sadpost for a bit

[appsa]

Text adapted from this post by palestinian writer and my dear friend Siraj Abudayeh ( @siraj2024 )

Since siraj's home was destroyed in november by the IOF, he and his family have been displaced seven times. Since then they have been at constant risk of starvation, violence and illness.

Since the latest attack by the IOF that displaced his parents, his siblings and their families, Siraj is the sole provider for 23 family members now. This is already when three young children are sick with serious infections during a time where children in gaza are not even able to to get basic vaccinations anymore. He is struggling badly to make ends meet, and it weighs on him greatly that he is not able to provide for his family at such a difficult time.

Currently, he is at $51,480 CAD / $82,000 

He needs to reach his goal as soon as possible to take care of his family.

Please donate anything you can spare, easing this burden off his shoulders even a little is the least we can do right now

Vetted and appears #219 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi’s list of vetted fundraisers, so please dont hesitate to share and donate.

Since the gfm organizer is based in canada, the gfm will not accept donations from paypal. Please DM @malcriada who is a trusted friend of siraj if you wish to donate using paypal, or are otherwise having any issue donating to the gfm with general cards.

[heritageposts]

I'm writing again to bring attention to the GFM campaign of @nourfamily1989, a mother of five in Gaza.

Since the last update, the situation for Nour and her family has gotten a lot worse. The area they've been seeking refuge in has been subject to intense bombing, and they've had to flee again in the middle of the night, with no idea where to go or what awaits them.

The despair Nour is describing is heartbreaking:

We see death every day, every minute, and every second??? We can no longer endure all this suffering, and my children are no longer children. Rather, they have become adults. After all this suffering, they have not taken any of their rights. Rather, they have lost their lowest rights. They have to bear what no grown-up person could bear. How long will all this torment and destruction that we live in?? Every day we move from place to place and we do not know where to go and where to go. There is no safe place for us. Every place is targeted and there is no safety. Please help my children from this bitter torment. Please save us from this destruction. There is no home. There is no future for my children. All their dreams are shattered.

Nour has repeatedly said on her blog that she hates having to ask for help, but that, for the sake of her children, she no longer has a choice.

Let's make sure her pleas now don't go unanswered.

You can make a big difference to the family even with a small donation. If you can't donate, then please help by sharing.

Donation link (GFM)

For vetting info, see this post by @/killy.

Over the course of a week, we've been able to raise a little over $5,000. Let's aim to reach the next $5,000 milestone as soon as possible, so that if the Rafah crossing reopens in the near future, the family will have the funds necessary to evacuate.

Currently: $14,240 / $20,000

Total GFM goal: $90,000

[photomatt]

You gonna do anything or make any statement about the rampant transmisogyny on this hellsite, especially in cases like predstrogen recently? Or yall gonna stay silent and keep letting/making us get pushed off of it.

I have a number of asks about this, so this is to address all of them, I won't do each individually.

We generally do not comment on individual cases, but because there seems to be mass misinformation around this, I will make an exception and comment on predstrogen.

First, Tumblr has a number of LGBT+ including trans people on staff, and they see things from the inside fully, and they're not protesting this case.

Why do we wrongly have a transphobe reputation? We did have an external contract moderator last year that was making transphobic moderation (and also selling moderation, criminally). As soon as we were aware that person was fired, and we later terminated the entire relationship with that contracting firm and have brought almost everything in-house (at great cost). I have previously commented on this publicly, several times.

I am not aware of any Automattician (people who work at Automattic and Tumblr) who has made any transphobic moderation actions. If it's reported it is investigated immediately, if anything were found that person would be terminated for cause immediately.

Predstrogen's account was suspended for:

Repeated mis-tagging of adult content against Tumblr's community guidelines. This has nothing to do with clothed transition photos, she had 20+ other blogs and multiple accounts with names so explicit I can't post them here without a mature tag.

Multiple cases of harassment of other Tumblr users, not just me.

Multiple threats of violence, not just the one I share below.

These represent a breach of our Terms of Service, and we've exercised our right to refuse service.

Threats of violence are never okay. Threats of violence are not protected speech. We will work with police and FBI where appropriate, though to be clear prestrogen's case hasn't warranted that so far. I'm referring to what we may potentially do for other threats. I just got a death threat yesterday from someone mad about predstrogen, and that account was immediately terminated.

So regardless of whether you still think Tumblr staff is somehow a bunch of transphobes, know that threats of violence or death are still not acceptable and will result in immediate and serious action. Know that when you rile people up, they can do dumb things with possibly permanent consequences.

(2 hours later update: I have changed instances of the pronoun "they" or "their" to "the account" because I am unaware of pronoun preference in this instance and don't want to misgender anyone. Thank you for the people who reported this as an issue. Update 2: "She" is apparently better, the post now says that. Sorry for the mistake.)

Here's one (of many!) examples of the harassment violations, this one targets me but there are others targeting other users on the site.

The second part seems to indicate she wanted to be suspended, I'm unaware of why, perhaps to create this sort of uproar. I agree the hammers feel silly, but the start, "i hope photomatt dies forever a painful death" is a violation of Tumblr's community guidelines and terms of service.

The car part did hit close to home as I have almost died twice in car accidents.

Update 2: Added this text to the adult content part: This has nothing to do with clothed transition photos, she had 20+ other blogs and multiple accounts with names so explicit I can't post them here without a mature tag.

[will-o-wips]

Save the Villainess Thoughts by Willow Masterpost Part 1: Jane

So I've decided to be insane. Make a small (lies, it is long, that is why it is divided up into parts) post about the Halloween videos and the lore that they have given us. As well as maybe compile theories/thoughts about these characters. Idk if there is a community for this even, or if anybody's actually obsessed like I am, but I'm having fun thinking about it either way, so... I guess this is for like the 0.0000000000001% of the people (me and only me). Enjoy lmao.

You have been warned: the actual insanity starts under the cut lmao.

So I will start with... Jane. Mostly because her Halloween special video is not as lore-bomb-dropping as the rest. The video itself is mostly about certain aspects of the gameplay so far. It's a neat little thing! Honestly, these are more thoughts/rambles than actual, well, coherent notes, but from what I've noticed (from being insane and watching every single social media post on Tumblr Best Laid Plans Productions ever made about all of them, more or less, even though my memory is spotty and I didn't have time to rewatch them before making this), is that Jane is just unknowingly integrated in this world. I don't notice her having any thoughts about before she was transported into the romance novel she read; it's not like she's thinking about her family home, or that she has any plans of going back. She just knows she doesn't belong in this world as the villainess, which is super interesting to me. She's just... accepted her fate and that she must survive. She's BECOME the villainess, rather than just feeling like an imposter in another person's body. She only knows she's innocent, which is why she's fighting so hard to be freed from such a fate. Another thing that supports this is the fact Jane always says such weird phrases that I'm like 99% sure aren't actual English idioms, but rather phrases that this alternate romance novel universe uses. Such as "By the blood" in the Halloween special specifically, because, what does this mean Jane???? What are you referring to here!!! (Side note: Edmund also uses these odd phrases a lot, so I suppose it's something the nobility of Carcosa are familiar with; some kind of "noble language" to distinguish those of nobility from commoners or whatever. Some kind of pretentious thing that just happens because society is cruel lmao. Either that OR this is just the way Carcosians speak in general and Jane just kinda always knew this ever.)

Another thing, besides just the obvious announcements of how this guideline/tutorial thing works in the gameplay, is the fact that Jane explicitly states that daytime and nighttime are important. Most people would sign this off to, well, gameplay experience. That during the night you can talk to people more intimately and have like rendezvous or whatever with your favourite characters, while at daytime you're solving mysteries mostly. See the thing with that is, is that Servant also somewhat says very similar things in previous instances of videos. And we all know that Servant is like... that one person that gives everyone the creeps, the intrigue and also the insanity. They are, as of now, the most explicit in the fact they are somewhat of a mastermind behind this all. They know what is happening with the lore. They know, but they don't like explicitly telling us what is happening, so... yeah thanks ig Servant? In each case, Jane here is not joking when she says that nighttime and daytime are important; they're probably very much so magically (maybe?) linked to how this story is supposed to progress. Aka gameplay actually impacts lore, and lore impacts gameplay. As to what it is referring to... well, I have my theories about it. But what I'm most confident in is that it is related to some kind of magic about the story. It is relevant to the narrative; relevant to things both Ben and Servant know about this world. And I say Ben because he's also so sus in such a world-altering way but I'll talk about him later... yeah, later lmao.

Now, my notes that I took while watching the videos here are very vague (thank you for that Willow, you are so insane about this you cannot even write in proper English), but there's something about the jewelry and accessories of these characters. Most noticeably, the way they glow. Like Rhythmically Glowing and Shaking. In Jane's case, it's her earrings [her brooch is less important but it still has symbolism on it probably, with how it has a bee etched onto it. Maybe this is her family's like symbol? Like how Renaissance Pope families had different kinds of symbols etched into buildings they funded into existence and all. Who knows]. Maybe this is some kind of glint effect or whatever; but then why is it animated like THAT??? Idk if I'm onto something or not here, I have high suspicions that I am, but maybe I'm also just looking into it too deeply... but there's something wrong with this jewelry. There's something wrong with the way that Servant's Brooch also glows, whenever Edmunds (tie clips? cufflinks for your neck??? what are they I'm not good with fashion, though the game has such good fashion design guys okay) accessories start glowing and shaking, when Izel has his little gem earring (I love that design omg, also + the brooch he has on his tie but like it doesn't shake) shakes and glows as well and how Ben's POCKET WATCH CHAIN (+ the little uhh buttons on his coat but they don't shake the way the other things do) IS GLOWING OKAY (and yes I'm insane enough to pause these videos just to see whether it is true). Something is going on. It's happening (slightly) even during daytime, and I checked this, so there's something fishy with this. There has to be. I'm so convinced there is jfkldsjfks. A possible explanation for this is that because these characters are all main actors in the story, some kind of magic is there to maybe,,, force them to play their part? Maybe they cannot be exempted from the main storyline because of this? Maybe everybody is just here because they have no other choice? Honestly idk. More thoughts on this in the other parts because dude I'm gonna lose my mind if I try to put everything in here. AND MAYBE IT'S JUST AN ARTISTIC CHOICE AND I'M JUST INSANE ABOUT IT??? Who knows.

Anyway, to close off this post, because I know it is long and idk whether there's actually any substance here, I'll try to compile the thoughts about Jane into a few small sentences, without fangirling in between lmao.

She's lovely, and while she is very funny, I find her harder to pin down than the rest of the cast (that we know of as of writing this). She's dead set on surviving, and that's probably because she might have experienced death once already. Either as the Villainess Jane Neville herself, or as the person she (possibly) used to be, that we know absolutely nothing of. She does not show any other hints to her past: just constantly assuring us she desperately needs help. I love her, of course, not only for her character design or the fact that she's funny, but for the fact that she somehow manages to avoid telling us anything concrete about herself. I don't think that this is done because Jane is not a character and is supposed to be a player-insert (that may play a part in it but y'know, that's just the nature of these kinds of games to a degree); she very much so is a character. She knows these phrases and these small courtesy things that no normal person who WASN'T integrated into this fantasy world would know. Maybe she retained only some of the past memories that her villainess self had, but truly... how could she remember those, but not her fiancé? Not the novel she is in? How can she know she is the villainess with certainty, at all, given she does not remember the book, the plot of said book, nor any of the other characters that well? She only knows someone is out to kill her, and that we must save her. Her weird integration with the world as well as the dissonance she presents with it at the same time is suspicious; she's very mysterious in that regard.

Perhaps I'm biased. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough. It might be that I'm missing something entirely. Somehow my suspicion/theory, even to me, feels like it's somewhat misplaced. That something is up is clear, but whether there's evidence to support anything is a whole other thing.

But somehow I'm inclined to believe that... Jane is not as forgetful as she might think she is. And that whatever happens to her by the choice of the player (who you romance, what kind of ending you get, what kind of choices you make, how you survive based on your deductions in the mystery, etc.), it always will tie into something she wanted to be. That us controlling her to a certain kind of destiny, is something she wanted to be, but never got the chance to be.

That we might guide her towards a destiny she actually deserved, rather than the one she has gotten.

[ Lmao I have so many more thoughts about what exactly makes a villainess but like... if the LIs/ROs/MLs or whatever you call them are all deconstructions and reconstructions of their specific tropes... Then isn't Jane also one? Shouldn't she be, at least? If she never was a villainess, then what makes her be one? If she was a villainess, what changes should she undergo in order to become a hero? And if she is neither... Or cannot remember whether she is clearly... What truly discerns her as a villainess?

I have so many more thoughts and theories about these people that I have to cover later because otherwise I'd have been sitting here for 2 hours trying to write all of this down somewhat understandably. If I actually had a plan for like any type of structure I might've not lost so much time on it. Will try to do that when it comes to the rest and all. Might also opt for smaller paragraphs lmao I genuinely hope I'm not overstepping something by doing this??? If the developers see this and go like "okay maybe don't", I'll take it down fjkdsjfklds. It's not like I'm dead set on sharing this if it's for whatever reason not good for business or something. ANYWAY THIS IS GETTING ABSURDLY LONG. Hope you enjoyed my rambles; until next time for the rest of them! ]

[mangocheesecakes]

Oh god, I haven't been able to post and boost @yousefmoner's fundraiser lately because I was focused on promoting his brother's fundraiser and then I had to take a break from tumblr and other socmed sites.

I'm only just now seeing this update that Yousef had gotten sick and collapsed a few days ago and according to the latest posts on his insta, is still unwell and malnourished.

Please donate what you can to Yousef's fundraiser today. It's crucial that they are able to collect funds so that they have something to spend for their everyday needs especially now that Yousef is sick. But also, we need to help them reach their goal so that when the border crossing reopens, they will be able to have the needed amount ready to pay the crossing fees, and Yousef can get treated as soon as possible and work on restoring his health.

This is a vetted fundraiser that has never had a steady stream of donations ever since it started. They are still only at £6,539 / £50k with only 1 donation today and before that was 3 days ago.

Yousef is @mohamedmoner1994's brother and his gfm is #65, line 69 on the list of vetted fundraisers by Hussein and Nairuz, just above his brother Mohamed.

[kathaynesart]

It is done! *falls down*

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT (SOON) MASTER POST

I have... so much to say on so many different things but it is 2:30 in the morning so I will keep this as brief as possible. First off, thank you to all my mom friends and mutuals who helped me with accurately portraying and normalizing the experience of giving birth. It is wonderful, and painful, and gross, and beautiful. I apologize if it made any readers squeamish (and I know there were a few gross jokes in there) but considering how gross the tv show got, I think it remained true to the overall vibe!

Second, I wanted to talk about the concept of "hope" in this story. When I first watched the movie, I felt like the idea of hope being their greatest weapon seemed sort of heavy handed and cheesy. However, after watching the ending of the show again I realized that hope is actually a huge reoccurring element in the story and a big part of what it means to be of the Hamato clan. Doubly so, I wanted Casey Junior in a way to symbolize that hope for Leo specifically, so when Leo talks about hope in the beginning of the movie, he's not just talking about some vague concept, but Casey Junior himself. He is their greatest weapon and he doesn't even realize it.

Thirdly, so uh... Casey Junior. I apologize if it had seemed out of left field, but do know that the decision of his origins was not made lightly. The shear similarity in his facial structure to Lou Jitsu as well as several other factors that I will refrain from stating due to future spoilers was too numerous to ignore! It is an integral part of his story for reasons that will go unsaid for now, and no, he does not know he's distantly related to them. Also, Big Mama! Been holding onto her concept for some time now! I loved the idea of her mystic broach becoming damaged so she can only be cloaked to a certain degree, making for an interesting blend of both her forms. She was really fun to figure out!

Finally thank you everyone for your patience. This special turned into quite the endeavor with most of the updates exceeding 20 pages each, but I'm so happy I was able to finish it... even if it did take so much longer than my projected hope. I can't wait to get back to the main storyline, though I shall miss these silly, overpowered boys. We got a lot of ground to cover and I'll likely be posting a summarized reminder before continuing. ...and after I finish work on some Zines and the holiday special winning commission!

[witchywcmans]

PLEASE, EAT. | LAIOS TOUDEN

synopsis ━━ after you've been bitten by a sea serpent, you know the consequences are either death or the possibility of turning into one yourself. thankfully for you, laios touden is the devourer of all things monster and he is dedicated to getting that venom out of you. (laios x f!reader.)

content warnings ━━ sex pollen-adjacent, cunnilingus + fingering, praise, breath play (kinda, if you squint), semi-public sex, multiple orgasms. nsfw (minors + ageless blogs dni).

word count ━━ 3k

song inspiration ━━ too sweet, hozier / more than friends, isabel larosa

author's note ━━ this is the first time I've ever written and posted an x reader one-shot on here, so please be gentle with me lol. I usually only write x oc fics bc I'm a yapper and I love creating characters. but alas...I was perusing the laios x reader tag and wanted to read something with this plot, couldn't find it, so I figured I'd just do it myself 🫡

🪽 part i: PLEASE, EAT. / part ii: FORBIDDEN FRUIT. / part iii: TOO SWEET.

This was definitely one of the worst situations you’d been in.

You had joined Laios’ adventuring party just a few months prior. They had found you on floor 3 of the dungeon, shivering and mourning the loss of your father. His body, dead in your arms, and beside him lay the lifeless body of a ghoul you had killed. At first, the party’s leader, Laios Touden, had only been interested in taking the ghoul's body so they could use its bones for utensils after the flesh rotted off. But it was Marcille who noticed the tears in your eyes, how you trembled from the cold, and suggested they take you in. You almost declined, not wanting to leave your father’s body, but knowing he’d soon turned into a monster left you with only one option. Your father had been with you for the past twenty-five years of your life, and now, you were leaving his dead body in a dungeon to travel with a group of strangers.

You soon came to appreciate your new party, though, and you felt your father’s spirit within each of them. Marcille had his kindness, Chilchuck had a comparable wit, Senshi was gifted with excellent cooking skills, and Laios … well, you were still figuring that out. And surprisingly, it was Laios who you began to connect with the most. His knowledge of monsters was unmatched, and he had a passion for learning how to prepare them while they traveled deeper into the dungeon. He was overtly blunt, much like you, and possessed similar advanced fighting skills due to both your fathers' teachings.

Sometimes … sometimes though, you found yourself staring at him more than you should have. His face was abnormally perfect, as if he’d been carved by an artist. His tousled ash-blonde hair reminded you of a lion, and his eyes … sometimes you could’ve sworn they were made out of gold, shimmering like molten lava. Each time you thought this way, you smacked yourself when no one else was looking. I mean, Laios was your friend, your party leader. Having a crush, especially in circumstances like these, was unethical. You had always been focused on one thing: helping your party and making it out of this dungeon alive, for your father. You wouldn’t let a little crush deter you.

Everything had been all well and good until today, when you and your party reached the end of floor 4. When Laios had struggled to fight off a sea serpent, you joined him in the lukewarm water, using your crossbow to shoot the creature in the head. Finally, Laios was able to step in to slice the serpent’s head off … but not before the creature could snap its jaw, tearing one fang down your hip. You jumped back, screaming as you felt the venom seep into you instantly. Some said sea serpent venom would kill you immediately, others said it turned you into one of them, cursing you to haunt the waters with them as penance. As soon as the head was cut, Laios carried you away from the water, and the last thing you heard was Marcille cursing him out before you were rendered unconscious. 

You were woken up – hours, maybe days later – by a drop of water hitting your face every few seconds. Lifting your head from the makeshift tunic pillow, you took in your surroundings. You were at the entrance of floor 5, in a damp corner of cobblestone, while water dripped down onto the floor every so often. There was a moist bandage covering your side where the serpent’s fang had cut into you, part of your tunic ripped to shreds. Hunger boiled in your stomach, making you groan and rub your head. Laios was sitting just a few feet away, a small fire in front of him to keep warm. Marcille had to have helped him with that; there was no way to craft a fire in an area this damp.

“Am I dead?” You asked softly. 

Laios immediately turned in your direction, his mouth lifting in a smile. “Of course not.”

Your stomach did flip flops as you took in his smile, hunger consuming you. You needed something to eat – bad. Your body felt hot and sweaty, and you wondered if it was just from the humidity, even though Laios didn’t look affected. Sitting up, you informed him, “Well, that was one of two options my father said would happen from a sea serpent bite. Which means …” You lifted the bandage up, noticing the gills that started to form on the healing wound. A turquoise hue surrounded the gills, almost like a bruise. “Oh, fuck,” you muttered.

Laios stood, looming over you while asking, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s the other option,” you replied, too hungry to cry. “The bite is –”

“– Turning you into a sea serpent,” Laios finished. “Honestly, I thought that was just a myth. But when the bite didn’t kill you …” His mouth twitched, tongue darting out to wet the corners of his lips. “We have to suck the venom out. That has to stop the mutation.”

Your head snapped up. “Huh?” 

But as soon as your eyes met his, you started to wondered if what you were experiencing was hunger after all. Perhaps … a different kind of hunger. Laios stared down at you, the sparkling gold replaced by a dark hazel. It was just you two in this little corner of the dungeon, but you suddenly felt exposed, so naked, under his gaze. Your body was hot all over, sweat sticking to uncomfortable places. And your thighs … a burning need emerged between them, soaking the thin linen of your undergarments. This had to be a symptom of the bite, but it suddenly didn’t matter anymore. Your worry had been replaced by an ache that only he could fix.

No – absolutely not. You couldn’t. You shouldn’t. You were turning into a sea serpent.

But the need between your legs still throbbed.

“It’s like when a snake bites you on the surface,” Laios said, crouching down to your eye level. His closeness made your heart rate pick up. You realized then that he had shed his armor, kneeling in front of you in just his gambeson, which clung to his muscles and wide frame. “A sea serpent is part snake. Sucking out the venom should stop the mutation. You’ll probably experience symptoms from the bite for a few more hours, but they’ll stop eventually.” 

He started to peel back the bandage, taking a look at the gills forming on your hip when you gripped his wrist. Immediately, his skin burned, making you even more hot. You ripped your hand away from him, and with sweat trickling down the side of your face, you said, “Don’t you think this is … weird? Maybe Marcille should do it.”

“Marcille and the others just went back to another part of the level to find dinner. They won’t return for an hour, at least. This can’t wait.” He inspected the turquoise gills with concern, before his eyes snapped back to yours, noticing the way your black pupils filled almost the entire iris. “Do you not trust me?”

“Of course, I trust you. It’s just …” What exactly was the reason again? Oh, yes, it was pulsating hunger dripping between your legs from the bite, and you were terrified how you’d react the second his lips wrapped around your wound. The symptoms would just get worse. But he was right – this was the only way. Fuck, this had to be the most embarrassing thing you’d ever experienced. 

“Fine,” you finally relented, lying back down on the cobblestone. You did your best to get comfortable, but the makeshift pillow hardly provided much cushion between you and the floor.  “What should I do?”

“Nothing, just lay back and let me take care of it.” Laios lifted your tunic a smidge, and just the tenor of his voice made your ache even worse. “We’re just gonna … get this out of the way. And then …” His fingers hooked on the waistband of your pants, and you immediately clutched his collar. If you touched his skin again, you were sure to moan.

Laios looked from where your hand was gripping him and back to your eyes. “Your pants need to be off so I can have better access to the mutation. It’s on your hip.” You swallowed hard, knowing he was right, and your hand started to slip off his collar. “We’re friends, right?” He asked.

You nodded weakly.

“Good,” he smiled again, and you struggled to hold back a plea for him to touch you. He pulled down your pants, tossing them to the side. For a moment, he paused, taking in your soaked underwear and running his fingers over the mutation on your hip. He licked his lips again, and then said in a rather blunt tone, “You’re so –”

“Don’t say it,” you cut in, snapping your eyes shut to prevent further embarrassment.  Though you had never minded Laois’ occasional lack of social cues, this was one of those moments you needed anything but. “Just get the venom out.”

Laios tugged your underwear down a little to see if the mutation had spread. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he informed you, lowering his head to your hip. “I’ve read that these bites can have a multitude of internal symptoms. Nightmares ... sweating … fever …” He ran his tongue over the gills, making your breath hitch instantly. “… And especially, arousal. Neat, huh?” He chuckled, and just his warm breath on the gills made you even more wet. “Don’t worry, I got you,” he assured before finally wrapping his mouth on the wound.

Your body burned even hotter than before as soon as his lips touched your skin. He sucked the venom out of you, spitting out blue globs every other second. His hands gripped your side, digging into your flesh and leaving crescent shapes from his nails. As you felt the gills start to close up, you couldn’t help but moan and arch into nothing. This felt better than any time you masturbated … any time you imagined your party leader above you … Fuck, who would’ve thought sucking sea serpent venom out of you would feel this good? Thank the gods the rest of their party was off catching dinner. You couldn’t deal with them possibly hearing this.

It surprised you when your orgasm flooded through you like a crashing wave. As Laios finished sucking out the last of the venom and the mutation closed, your arousal came to a definite peak and you let out a whine. You grabbed his arm, cumming from absolutely no stimulation.

Laios didn’t seem to mind though. In fact, he was mostly preoccupied with inspecting the area. You opened your eyes, your cheeks tinged pink, and saw the globs of venom to the left dissipate to nothing but water. You pinched the bridge of your nose, “I’m sorry, I –”

“The mutation closed. I was right!” Laios looked down at you, a big grin covering his face. “How do you feel?”

“Well, I definitely don’t feel a second set of lungs on my hip anymore.” You lifted your hand when you noticed a trickle of blue staining his lip, wiping it away with your thumb. “But I … my body is still …” The ache inside you had simmered slightly, but it was still there, lingering underneath the surface. 

This was genuinely humiliating. Maybe you should’ve just decided to turn into a sea serpent after all.

Laios grabbed your wrist before you could pull away from his face. He leaned into your palm, running his long nose down to your inner wrist. “Your skin is so warm. I can still smell how aroused you are from the serpent bite.” His eyes burned into yours, keeping your hand close to his face. “I can help. Do you need another release?”

Your cheeks got even more red when he acknowledged your orgasm. Shaking your head, you said, “I couldn’t ask you to do that. I can just –”

“I’d be honored to,” he replied, quite gruffly and persistent. His fingers tugged your underwear down with precision and ease, despite the damp fabric clinging to you. He spread your legs wide and placed them on his shoulders. Lowering himself down, he inhaled the scent of your climax and hooked his arms around your inner thighs. He smiled up at you – your pretty face red with embarrassment – all dopey-eyed and grateful. “You lot like to call me the devourer of monsters. Perhaps I should devour the last bit of monster out of you.”

He inhaled again, groaning like he typically did when he was hungry. His hot breath against your achingly wet pussy made you whimper with desperation. “You smell so good down here,” he whispered. “I’d wager you taste even better.”

You gasped as soon as he dove between your legs, licking a stripe through your folds, tasting your recent orgasm. He flicked his tongue over your clit before sucking on it with feverish excitement. Slick gathered on his tongue and he whined, needing more. So much more. You were the most delicious meal he’d ever tasted. Better than any monster, better than anything on the surface. 

“So good,” he muttered into your pussy, lapping against your clit, doing anything that would get him more of your arousal. “You taste so, so good.”

You whimpered out his name and attempted to close your legs, but he held them opened with all his strength. His arms wrapped around your thighs went tight, bruising the sensitive flesh. Your jaw went slack while your own hands scrambled for purchase, eventually landing in his cropped hair. You tugged, hips bucking against his face, making him groan even more. This allowed him to hold your hips a little higher, and his tongue finally dipped into your leaking entrance. You heard him grunt the second he plunged his tongue deeper, his nose nuzzling your clit. 

He devoured you like a starved man. He devoured you like you were a boiled scorpion, or roast basilisk, or – even better – like sweet, delicious homemade cheesecake. 

“Laios,” you whined, feeling your fever dissolve with each lap of his tongue. “Laios, it’s … fuck – it’s okay, I feel –”

“Need more,” he muttered, his voice low and laced with need. He was practically humping the stone floor as he buried his tongue as far as it could go inside you. Your hips couldn’t stop bucking forward, riding his face as you felt your orgasm building at the base of your stomach. Laios was completely transfixed. He wanted to be here, nestled between your thighs, for every meal. He’d take you away from the rest of the group before dinner, lapping away to the sounds of your pleas and whimpers, so help him gods. He’d do this every day, every night, whenever you wanted, for as long as he was alive. Fuck monsters. He could survive off the taste of you for the rest of his life.

Slipping his tongue out of your hole, he went back to sucking on your throbbing clit and feeling your legs start to tremble. You had to be close to another release, and he was desperate to taste it. He paid all his attention on your clit, snaking one hand up and sinking two fingers knuckle-deep into your entrance in tandem. “Fuck,” you moaned, tugging on his hair once again, “fuck – gods, Laios. I – I’m s-so close –”

“Please,” he begged, smearing your slick all over his mouth. “Please, you’re so good. Need to see how you taste when you release on my tongue.” His own hips continued to buck against the floor.

You choked on a cry when you finally came all over his tongue. He groaned, loud and drawn out, when he finally got a taste of your sweet climax, knowing that it was him that brought you to this point. The orgasm felt long, like the ocean bringing you in and out, and your whole body trembled. He continued lapping at your clit as it pulsed under his tongue, his fingers curling inside you through your orgasm. When you finally breathed out and started to come down from the high of it all, Laios stayed between your thighs, allowing his tongue to gently swirl your clit. Maybe if he continued, he could taste a little more of you …

You found your voice, hoarse from overstimulation. “Laios, please, you have to stop,” you begged, yanking his head up from between your legs. His mouth was covered in your slick, and then he was giving you that dopey expression again, making your heart clench. Your body was no longer hot and sweaty. Laios had completely cured you of the sea serpent bite with that expert mouth of his. He unwound his arms from your thighs, bringing his fingers that were still covered with your wetness to his mouth, tasting the last of your orgasm. You watched him, eyes wide and cheeks blushing, until he was looking at you again with those golden doe eyes.

“That was amazing,” he said, like he was in a haze. When your eyes flickered down, you realized he was hard in his pants, but it wasn’t like he even noticed himself with the way he was staring at you. “We should do that again sometime.”

He stood up, and you scrambled to pull your clothes back on before the group came back. You stammered, “It’s okay, uh – we don’t have to. Especially if you don’t want to. We could just –”

“I want to,” he cut in, a determined look in his eyes. “What are friends for, right?” 

[pomefioredove]

now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs

parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending

summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up

crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake

he acts so... casual about it?

swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"

"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"

okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you

"To what?"

Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."

(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)

Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices

"So you'll let me go once you get me?"

"Uhhh..."

Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him

Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him

(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)

Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess

even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast

you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!

of all the irresponsible things...

of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too

purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble

he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours

of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too

going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?

I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?

actually don't answer that

...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie

but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?

for one, you'd make a really good pillow

he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that

and malleus would hate it

...that's reason enough for him

plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?

either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie

news travels fast around school, after all

then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed

that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!

besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!

so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price

he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

now, Azul is annoyed

once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about

talk about good marketing...

why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!

of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary

it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one

Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof

though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion

a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around

and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says

"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"

hint: he is not

the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it

(AKA infinite sleepovers)

and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!

he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in

right next to his of course :)

and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you

after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him

You don't always get what you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable

he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner

with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...

when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs

oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?

of all the silly, immature things...

oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding

(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)

Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile

but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately

with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"

Idia understandably freaks out

"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"

(liar)

(...but this is still different)

the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus

"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."

Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"

"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"

"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"

Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege

Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made

he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident

though, of course, he goes to you first

seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week

and he's in a great mood!

"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"

you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"

"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"

you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"

"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"

certainly he's not this naive, you think

"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"

he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"

huh. that was a strange way of putting it

but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it

and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!

"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"

he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"

"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"

[chaostudee]

my woman, lando norris.

summary : y/n norris, married to lando norris, is one of the most popular wags and when she isn't seen in the paddock for a while rumours start to spread. faceclaim : madeline argy a/n : i'm acc obsessed with making smau posts now 🙈 also might do a part 2 lmk what you think??

landonorris the loml

liked by y/nusername, charlesleclerc, oscarpiastri and 2,829,610 others.

y/nusername u rly had to use the worst pics possible ugh i hate youuuu

landonorris no u don't y/nusername shush

oscarpiastri cute

y/nusername how polite cat of you

user7292 my goal in life is to have a relationship like theirs

carmenmundt why are you guys acc the cutesttt

f1fannn fav wag

fangirl1919 nahhh kika solos y/n

danielriccardo i swear yesterday he was literally 18

charlesleclerc they grow up so fast 😭

y/nusername acai bowls are like my current obsession rn

liked by landonorris, carmenmundt, maxverstappen and 1,292,919 others.

landonorris i thought i was your current obsession 🥲

y/nusername you're my forever obsession ;)

user8191 she's so naturally beautiful omggg

mclaren our fav wag

charlesleclerc biased

f1fannn we need y/n back in the paddockkk

alexsaintmleux literally glowing <3

carmenmundt no cause why is an acai bowl like the best thing ever like i need that shit injected in my veins.

y/nusername 🙌

y/nusername

landonorris YOU KEPT INTERRUPTING ME

y/nusername BECAUSE I WAS ASKING YOU MADE IT SO CONFUSING

carmenmundt me

y/nusername the girlies that get it get it

y/nusername monaco dumpp

liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, lewishamilton and 2,929,941 others.

landonorris my wife ladies and gentlemen

mclaren hope you had the best time !

alexsaintmleux loved catching up with you <3

y/nusername mwah

f1fannn her outfit as as usual omggg

kikagomez actually jelly of lando

oscarpiastri lovely seeing you (lily made me type this)

y/nusername 💀

landonorris f1 + wife = perfection

liked by y/nusername, mclaren, aussiegrit and 2,190,789 others.

y/nusername next canada !!

f1fangirl his curlssss omgggg

danielriccardio cute ig

f1wags y/n plsss never let lando cut his hair

y/nusername i promise 🫶

georgerussell the livery ate

carmenmundt help 😭😭

f1wagupdates alex and rebecca in the paddock today in canada. no sign of y/n..???

liked by f1updates, f1fan_891 and justaninchident and 10,429 others.

user929 ferrari girls 🏎

user_leclerc no y/n im acc sobbing wtfff she hasn't missed a gp....like everrrr

f1fan829 maybe y/n and lando broke up???

user310 girl stfu acc

carmenmundt missing you @y/nusername

liked by georgerussell, landonorris and y/nusername and 159,910 others.

y/nusername omg stop ill cry i miss you too, we have to meet up soon

georgerussell i acc think she loves y/n more than me sometimes 🙄

*comments on this post have been limited*

y/nusername there has been alot of speculation online about me and rumours and it would be stupid of me to lie and say that they are false. i'm pregnant and i will not be attending any more races this season but will support lando from home. please respect our privacy and baby norris <3

liked by landonorris, carmenmundt, georgerussell and 4,829,920 others.

georgerussell congrats you two !!

carmenmundt can officially call you mother now :)

landonorris love u and baby sm ❤️

y/nusername we love you more

charlesleclerc I CALL GODFATHER

danielriccardio NOPE IT WILL BE ME carlossainz guys be so fr it will be me, me are lando are like this 🤞 landonorris i was acc thinking about choosing oscar oscarpiastri 😢

taglist ⭑.ᐟ

@lottalove4evelyn

@sweetestgirlintown111

[unitedhamilton]

Five and One

Summary: five times you were Lewis' comments and the one time he was in yours.

A/N: this is my first time doing a smau! I had so much fun making this. Enjoy lovelies 💜

Liked by ynusername, trentarnold66, and 808,211 others

lewishamilton Next stop, Imola 🚀

View all 4,595 comments

user1 nice pic 🔥

user2 nice 😍😍😍

user3 champion

user4 8 time user5 SAY IT LOUDER

ynusername put me in the trunk and drive away with me PLEASE 🙏🤤

ynbestfriend this is your public account girlfriend ynusername and? I hope Lewis sees my comment user6 he doesn't want you ynusername he always wants me

masonmount shoe game goes hard

user9 give me a pair of your boots 🤲🏻

Liked by pierregasly, ynusername, and 815,441 others

lewishamilton Our time here on this planet is so short.

View all 6,133 comments

ynusername our time is so short so spend it with me please

user10 you beautiful man! 💜

ynusername SHOW THE FULL PIC

ynusername 💦💦🌊🌊

ynbestfriend what are these supposed to represent? ynusername water...obviously

user15 Ur literal job is burning fuel and rubber. Hy. po. crite

user16 shut up

roscoelovescoco go dads! you rocks!

Like by ynusername, marcusrashford, and 922,836 others

lewishamilton Thankful for this time I've had off but now it's go time!

View all 6,367 comments

user1 this this this 🙌

ynusername i could climb you

ynbestfriend GIRL GET OUT OF HIS COMMENTS. TALK TO HIM user17 what do you mean by this? 🤨🎤

ynusername let me sit in your lap 🧎‍♀️

ynusername begging to be that soda can 🙏

user18 aren't we all 🙄 user19 get in line

user3 Ginger Ale...? ....RIGHT 😎

wroetoshaw common Lewis W

user39 bro came out of retirement to comment on a Lewis post

Liked by mercedesamgf1, ynusername, and 1,278,754 others

lewishamilton It's a dream.

View all 12,569 comments

ynusername DON'T BUTTON THE SHIRT

ynusername UNBUTTON IT user5 did you just reply to yourself? ynusername maybe? don't judge me

user7 I totally dig your style!! Hawt! ❤️‍🔥

ynbestfriend i don't think @ ynusername is alive. it was nice knowing you

ynusername i've died but come back but i'm dying again user25 literally me

user17 are you grey?

fencer my bestie

Liked by ynusername, pierregasly, and 466,308 others

lewishamilton New week, new possibilities 🙌🏾

View all 3,280 comments

ynusername i'm literally speechless

user16 wow

user8 nice 👌👌👌

ynusername i have no words

ynbestfriend for once?!?!?!? he's killed you

ynusername I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO SAY AND I CAN'T 😭

user4 daddy

ynusername simple, but effective

user15 i need that shirt

Liked by lewishamilton, serenawilliams, and 2,387,102 others

ynusername i may be in his comments but he's forever in my heart 💜

tagged lewishamilton

View all 102,409 comments

lewishamilton my love ❤️

ynbestfriend YAY BESTIE THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A HARD SECRET TO KEEP ❤️

serenawilliams congrats 🎉

user29 THIS WHOLE TIME??

user13 we need the timeline asap 🤲🏻 user2 her besties comment had me 🤨 one day

kingjames my brother! congrats!

marcusrashford champ on and off the track @ lewishamilton

user4 why can't it have been me 🫠

user1 grow up user4 IT WAS A JOKE

mercedesamgf1 much love to Roscoe's new mom! 🐶💜

ynbestfriend so... when is project hamilton happening with a baby?

ynusername RELAX lewishamilton soon ynusername BRO????