#i'm proud of you for getting out and putting your mental and physical well-being first

[writingwisterias]

Okay, so what about eras of Leon reacting to his child being born??? I'm on a kick for dilf Leon and the sweet soft sappy moments

Ok ok! This is very similar to another one I have about waters breaking so I’ll combine the two! Thank you for the request my lovelies ily

Had to get this out for Father's day

Warnings: Pregnancy, vague description of birth but focuses on Leon’s reactions, nothing graphic!

RE2: He doesn't quiet believe you that it's starting at first, looking at you waiting for announcement that you were joking and you both still had more time. It's only when you get the first contraction shortly after he freaks out, like hes the one that has to deal with it. The drive to the hospital is chaotic, numerous speeding charges that he'll deal with at a later date. He constantly pesters you out of good will until eventually it's over. Star struck, doesn't really know what to do so he gets shown how to hold her properly by the nurses. The look of concern and concentration is so cute as he does it.

RE4R: Still freaks out but it's more silently, his eyes widen, mouth agape sort of thing. The hospital bag is rushed, he forgot to do it and filled with the wrong type of things. Holds your hand like he does with Ashley during the removal of las plagas, that being said...he would be silent and distant. His there physically doing what you need him to but until he gets the baby in his arms he's very spaced out. The sounds, the environment is all still a bit too much for him but he tries his best. Holding the baby naturally but like it's going to break if he holds her too hard.

Infinite Darkness: He is prepared for this! Went to all the classes and read all the books so he's the most reasonable when it finally happens. Reminds you of everything you have learnt together, doesn't leave your side unless he is forced to! However his calm demanor falters when he's given the baby and you see it all physically melt. Instantly tearing up and holding it close and being so gentle/careful. Glad he could actually make it as well with how busy he is, being sent everywhere.

Damnation: Sort of heads into the idea sort of blunt, like a "I won't freak out" kinda mood but then he does. Depending on his mindset during the day I don't know if he would consider himself a good birthing partner, I think he would try but if he's not up to it he will get angry with himself and maybe offer to leave so you don't get any more stress. He'll spend that time beating himself up until he reenters the room to you holding the baby and there's puddles of tears in his eyes. The whole process further solidifies the idea in his head of he cannot die. Not when he's holding a literal angel in his arms. He's sort of dumbfounded and proud of you and himself for reaching this point in life.

RE6: Immediately all over you and asking questions it's almost overwhelming, a lot calmer than the others but he will ask if you are okay every 5 seconds as if the answer has changed since the last time he asked. Very head strong in he room with you, tending to your needs quickly. Sort puts everything else that has happened in the past to really really focus on the moment, considers it as one good thing in a long time. When the baby is here, he's very gentle and keen on doing skin to skin for hours whilst you sleep. They have him wrapped around their finger almost instantly.

Vendetta: Distant in the room, I wouldn't say he's drunk maybe a little bit tipsy. The breaking of the waters/you being in pain would have sobered him up enough. His presence is supportive, hand holding, small touches/kisses etc but you can tell mentally he's not in the room. You won't hold it against him, not in his current state. You can see the happiness he has over the situation when you hand him the baby. He just sort of stares at it in a silent wonder and you leave him to work out whatever is going on in his head trusting that he will come to you if he needs help just like you do with him.

Death Island: The calmest out of all of them, it's like he's not even phased. Does a dad knee slap and some cringe joke before ushering you to the car with the bag already in it whilst saying he was just practicing his jokes. Actually does them so much the nurses asks him to stop. He's completely unphased by anything at this point and is the perfect birthing partner. If something was to go wrong then it falters, he'll panic and bother people until he knows you and the baby are safe. Instantly a great dad as well, baby talk is cringe but cute.

[anonymous-existences]

Chapter 3: New Faces, New Job, New Everything.

Continuation to the Prolouge, Chapter 1 and 2.

Danny stares at Dante in absolute shock, Red Hood? RED HOOD?? OF ALL PEOPLE. Dante had to meet the rumored and probably the most violent of the Vigilantes. And Red Hood being a literal Crime Lord makes this worse.

"He had a fat ass to be hone-" Dante Blurted with a smirk but Danny cuts him off, "No, No. Shut up. I don't wanna hear your- or my- wait no. YOU'RE gay shenanigans." Danny pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to process the whole story.

"Let me get this.. straight-... You ... Ugh.... Ancients save me. YOU. MET. RED HOOD. AFTER. Beating up... Someone in his HAUNT?? And what do you mean he's a revenant? I thought frostbite said those were the "rare cases" of semi-halfas" Danny tries to clear up all the information in his head through just yelling it out.

"Yep." Dante popping the "P" and does not elaborate on anything else but a simple 'yep'.

"Kill me fully- wait... No. Jazz wouldn't want that." Danny reminded himself and took a deep breathe.

"I am so telling Clockwork." Danny spoke out.

"Oh come on! I'm in physical probation! I defended someone from getting bad things happen to them—" Danny cut him off.

"You can say "Fucked up shit" you know stop physically censoring yourself." Danny just stared at Dante with a judgemental face. Dante gasped dramatically like he's offended by that statement.

"OH WOW. It's not like I'm trying to 'Censor' myself because you're a traumatized 13 year old kid and I'm an adult given the responsibility of YOU cuz I love you like my brother." Dante states emphasizing every word.

"You sound like a drag queen." Danny blurts out

"I look better in pink anyways." Dante smirked smugly and Danny just frowned and sighed as Dante Ruffled his hair Mischievously.

"Don't you have a job interview today?" Danny grabbed his hand and gently places it away from his poor hair.

"I already got hired. They said I fit the job." Dante sounded very proud of himself before Danny blurts out "I think they hired you on the spot because you're Eye Candy."

Dante was stunned and thought about it for a moment.

Hmm.

"Yeah I suppose but that doesn't matter now, I have a normal job and people doesn't seem to be bothered by me at all so it's very good." Danny imagined that if Dante had a tail he'd be wagging it and Danny didn't like that mental image of a fucking CATBOY DAN- "UUUUUGHH! I hate that." He drags his palm on his face dramatically.

"And you Danny. Is coming with me to work. I am not leaving you in the apartment because. I will list it.

1. Someone might break in and you're not safe.

2. You might kill that someone either through ghost or through your tendencies to grab that goddamn creep stick and hit without hesitation.

3. I am not letting you play DOOMED for 7 hours straight, But I will let you play Minecraft.

4. You or well, We. Tend to roam away from home when we are bored, in this case you do. And ding ding ding we're in Gotham.

5. If you ever got into any danger. I would not worry if you're okay. I would worry if you killed someone first.

That's your list."

Dante started Loud and Clear.

"Fine but I get to bring both my phone and headphones with my switch." Danny Complied with a deal making Dante smile triumphantly, "Fine with me Twerp, and you better behave at the cafe." He chuckles and Pats Danny's Head Gently but still mischievously.

Danny also giggled, Danny's chest felt warm. And his core buzzed in familiar happiness as Dante and Danny Pressed their foreheads into each other before Dante pats Danny's shoulder and stands back up with a groan.

"Let's go kid, get ready now." Dante stretched his body and cracks some of his "old bones" as Danny heads to his bedroom and takes his sling bag and puts his 'neccesities' inside with a smile.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Tim heard about a new Cafe opening nearby Gotham U, although at first he was suspicious of how so many people are already visiting it and even the lines reach outside. He soon found out why. One of their workers was rumored to be apparently "eye candy" or whatever they called people who are very attractive.

This worker was the main Barista and he apparently makes the drinks Infront of the people and he was good at it.

That got Tim even more curious, How attractive does someone have to be that people of all genders are lining up on a new store as if a celebrity is inside. And so he decided to wait in line like any other student as to not direct any attention to himself because that would be utterly humiliating for him.

He waited.....

And waited....

And kept Waiting and Waiting....

Until finally, what felt like an eternity he finally got to order His Coffee.

It seems the rumors are true, the bartender is indeed attractive. Tim got even more curious about how the big man seemed to have canine sharp teeth, oddly pale complexion that almost looks... Purple? And Lazarus Green Water with Red Rims.

"An Americano with two shots please.." He states to the Cashier, "And name please?" The Cashier asks again.

"Timothy." He calmly tells her as she writes it down to a receipt and hands it to the orders That the "Eye Candy" Man and Another Worker was Making.

Tim sat on a nearby table. It was the only table that happened to be empty. Except a 13 years old kid just sitting there playing... Minecraft? Okay-.

The kid stared at Tim, Tim stares back. 'He looks like adoption Bait.' Tim thinks to himself then suddenly he slowly feels weird, as if he's being judged intensely, Unfortunately and possibly even worse than how Damian judges him.

"You look like an overworked 9-5 office worker that has no paid vacations or time off for a student." the kid suddenly speaks out and it felt as though Tim had just been shot with a non-existent arrow of truth.

"Wha-" Tim tries to ask but the kid interrupts him before he could even start, "you should really get some sleep and maybe lessen your intake of Coffee... Ah right. Name's Danny by the way. Sorry. You just started staring at me so I couldn't help but state my opinion." The kid, or well... Danny said as he went back to playing Minecraft on his switch.

"I- it's... It's fine. I know I need sleep... All college students do- it's normal." Timothy just sighs and nods subtly, knowing full well this random kid is right.

Goddamit, the kid acts like Damian a bit too- and he has the typical black hair blue eyes appearance, possibly an orphan attitude. Tim continues to have a subtle Life Crisis in his head.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

'Such a weird person.' Danny thought to himself and chuckled softly.

He continues to play Minecraft with Tucker and Sam to Pass his time and so he doesn't go all deppreso mid-daylight. The amount of people entering the cafe was still... Concerning at the very least, now that the customers have heard Dante's voice... They started to call him the "Everything in one Package." Which was way worse than "Eye Candy" to be honest.

'Vlad would be confused and shocked.... I wonder how Ellie is doing.. hopefully not too bad....' Danny hums to himself as he made a gravesite ingame for Jazz to remember her by.

It has become tradition for these teens to make jazz a gravesite whenever they start a new world and they always made sure it's beautiful and colorful in a way Jazz would have liked it.

Danny smiled as he finished up the ingame Gravesite.

Although it hurts to see and do this every time, he still loves it because then he has something to remind him of her existence.

Her precious Existence as he likes to call it.

"I miss her so much..." He mutters to himself.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

"I'm so... Tired." Dante was plopped onto the couch lazily.

"I am scared to be an adult like you..." Danny just stared at Dante as he Begrudgingly sat back up from the couch to stretch his body and head to the kitchen to cook.

"I met a random older student today, we kinda talked. He called me adoption bait which was funny because technically I am considering V l a d." Danny laughed.

"Adoption Bait my ass, who would want to adopt a little messy homeless looking goblin." Dante just chuckled smugly and Danny Pouts. " I am not a homeless looking kid" he tries to defend himself "that's the thing you're most concerned about in my sentence?" Dante tucked his hair back into a tight Ponytail and let's it flow naturally like fire.

"I know I'm a goblin, it's just how I am." Danny proudly says and pats his chest and puffs it out with pride.

"Ofcourse you do... Ah right. Kiddo I have a surprise for you tomorrow. So make sure to get enough sleep today alright?" Dante kneels down to Danny's Height to speak to him properly.

Danny thinks for a second, "Sure! I like surprises!" Danny giggled nodded profusely in excitement.

"Good." Dante smiled softly, he loves it when Danny is happy. His core loves when Danny is also happy. A happy Danny is a happy Dante.

He wishes this could go on forever. Just Danny smiling and not screaming for his life in his nightmares.

My Arm is cold from writing this <33

Enjoy though.

[niamhthefae]

just reread season 2 up to 120 and i have so many thougts (that people have probably already had but oh well).

just warning you: this will be a long post

willtressor: i feel so sorry for Will, not the him that kissed Monty but the other him. because the Will that died finally got the answer to the question he was too afraid to ask. He died having finally had the realization about everything he'd felt his entire life and why he was the way he was, and just the "that's 3 times. I've never seen you stick your neck out for anyone else" this is the bravest, the most confident, the most WILL we've seen him. He wasn't groveling, he was challenging Monty, he took charge of the situation. For the duration of the kiss, he reversed their roles. I am so proud of him. But this other Will didn't get that. this other Will has to continue on, being scared and thinking he's so inferior to everyone else. in life he was just one of fourteen kids and in death he still doesn't see himself as any more noticeable or important. This Will never got the resolution he needed and now he's going to probably be so confused and continue to feel forgotten and useless for a while (unless Monty does something)

speaking of Monty- oh my fucking god. At first i didn’t like him, and i still won’t completely excuse some of the things he said and did, but from the flashbacks and the past few chapters it's very evident that this is a severely traumatized man. he's fucked up. and we see that he really cares about Will. he can’t admit it or show it in any way that would be recognizable to anyone else but again, i quote "that's 3 times now, I've never seen you stick your neck out for anyone else" i think what we have to remember about him is that he is a deeply fucked up individual and he has probably had to learn how to defend himself mentally, emotionally and physically. this whole thing he does, i think it's because if he makes everyone hate him on purpose then the rejection is easer and he doesn't have to deal with anybody trying to get close, which is maybe why ada and will piss him off so much: no matter how hard he tries to get rid of them they kept coming back and clinging onto him and acting like he hung the fucking moon and stars (or at least Will does). I think the events of episode 120 will make him do one of two things: become better and treat will properly while being a little haunted. or become worse,more scared and build more (metaphorical) walls and only become meaner. (and i'm starting to think it will be the latter. he'll be scared and haunted and all for a few chapters and then he'll start being crueler to cover up his sexuality panic.

prospero -

Prospero- i'm gonna put away my biases for this one (i think he's really fit). First of all, i called the whole plague thing + OCD tendancies (my best friend has really bad ocd and she suspects i have very very mild ocd ESPECIALLY around germs and mould and bacteria so i know what it looks like) anyway onto the serious talking. Seing prospero get slurred and the way he interracts with his family tells us so much. I'm pretty sure we're in the eighteen tens here and many italian and spanish immigrants were not treated the best, especially because of the mass sickness at the time, which i imagine only worsened Prospero's problems with germs and being unclean. People calling him names and treating him as inferior and some people blaming the plague on the immigrants would probably have made him spiral a little. I am so annoyed at his cousin because they've presumably known each other for a while. We know that because this guy knows exactly how to mess with Prospero, so surely he knows that this has been a thing for a long time? Feeling the way that prospero does about cleanliness doesn't happen overnight and while we don't know about anything before this, we can assume that people in the community would know about it, especially if they are family. I also feel so bad for him because people don't seem to understand. They think he's digusted by them or that he wants to distance himself from them or that he doesn't love them, when in actual fact he just has something going on with him that makes it difficult for him to get close to anyone. Weather he's aroace or just can't get close to anyone or express his love because of whatever is going on with him, we don't know. Red and Flynn could take it in very interesting directions either way, or if there's some secret third thing i'm sure it will be fantastic.

[also, in another universe, prospero could have worked with carlise cullen while he was alive. Someone write the fic.]

Quickfire round (don't have as much rambling or analysis for these)

Duke- duke is hiding behind who he is on stage, he's the fearless fortunato and that means that he will keep being reckless and disregarding the safety of himself and others until he exhausts himself and girlbosses to close to the sun. Only then will he learn. I love him, don't get me wrong. I love this silly little french man, but he needs to stop being so cocky and showing off when they are literally about to die for a second time.

Ada- i feel so sorry for ada. For the majority of this fic i didn't like her, but all she ever really wanted in life and in death was to be loved, and damn can i relate to that. She deserved better. She was annoying and bitchy and kind of a pick me but she deserved better. She was like that because she had to be. Do you think she saw the nurse's outfit and was hit with a strande deja vu? Because it was so similar to her maid's uniform. Ada clings onto anyone she can because all she wants is to be loved, but she'll never get the love she craves. She wants to be cinderella, but she won't marry a prince, she didn't even make it out of the cellar.

Pluto: this guy is really just the human embodiment of a cat isn't he? As a manchester girly i love the lancashire representation with this guy, i've been to blackpool like 10 times for various occasions throughout my life. I think it's a tie between him and Will for my favorite character. (also i can't decide if he is just really gender or really fit)

Unrelated but does anybody know the age range? Like are they adults or teenagers? Because with some of them like pluto and morella and maybe Will and eulalie it seems like they're at least 17 but no older than 19. but with some of the others they're very clearly in their early 20s, like Montressor,duke, prospero and Ada are all deffo above the age of 20, as are our main ladies. That's just my perspective though

Anyway's theres a whole recap of my current Nevermore thoughts. So far in order of obsession my ships are Willtressor Lenore and anabell (idk ship name) And i'm gonna be honest i don’t really ship plukalie but i can't remember any other ships.

Quick theory time: what if the reason Lenore hasn't manifested yet isn't the curse or something. The deans said they would manifest when they felt what they felt when they died. What if when she died, for that split second, lenore felt loved, or content. What if the reason why it hasn't happened is because in order for her to manifest she would need to be happy and feel safe. I don't think she's really properly felt any of those things for more than a short while durning her time at nevermore. Never long enough or completely enough anyway, because for either of those things to be fulfilled she would need annabel, and there is no other way for her to feel what she felt when she died.

(btw please bear in mind i started writing this whole post at 11:35 last night and i have exams so my brain is not braining i should be REVISING not thinking about GAY PEOPLE god damn it)

[cosmicspark24]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ Pick a card time! ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎

☁︎ Collective energies! ☁︎

Hi everyone! It's taken me a fair bit to get this done for you so any shares, likes and comments are appreciated. While reading I found some collective themes you can skip this bit or come back to it if you like it. Collectively there were lots of themes surrounding; new beginnings, new love (lots of romantic offers/new relationships), embracing creativity, investing in yourself, turning pain into power, going after your dreams, mental prisons due to perspective shift being needed, betrayals & travel. I hope you enjoy, I will be keeping these coming in 2025. Please check out my blog if you have a chance and there will be a Youtube channel coming next year. Love ya,

Thando

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Hello Pile 1:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of the first half of 2025 for you is new beginnings. What a wonderful start to a new year!! I see a few different themes for the people in this pile. We will begin with this theme of work. I feel that some of you have started new jobs, been promoted or are renewing your approach to work. There is an energy here of carefully balancing all the plates in your life, ensuring that you drop not a single one. I see this being something you achieve with relative easy. This does not mean it requires effort. I see some of you being very concerned with the idea of equal give and take. If the company refuses to pay me more, then I reserve the right to do the bare minimum and never agree to their attempts at giving me overtime - type energy. So if you have been thinking about a financial venture and have been feeling like you are not getting as much back as you are receiving, what can you change to facilitate you taking back your own power? I see especially for any masculines or women in their masculine energy/era that making money or juggling the important practical parts of your life is greatly important. I see you putting everything in your power in driving your new beginnings foreward. In that, I see that you are the wind beneath your wings. I am proud of you pile 1. For any masculines in this pile who have been confused about how to proceed with a relationship, I see you making moves towards that. For some of you this is physical travel to the one you love, for others you are taking a metaphorical journey back to your person. This reading is heavily talking about or directed at masculine energies. For women, I see this as you finally receiving clarity from a SP. This is someone you know to already have an interest but it is possible you were being given mixed messages.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme of the second half of 2025 has to do with either you or a specific person. The theme is showing affection and attention to the one you like. So just take what applies. I feel that any confusion you may have had about a SP were cleared the moment you made the mental decision to stop hiding your own feelings from yourself. I'm seeing the energy of someone writing a message, pressing send, throwing away the phone and hiding under the covers. Then overthinking...well it's all in your head. Remember who the fuck you are in the second half of the year. Remind yourself that anything meant for you will make its way to you with ease. I see also for anyone not in this headspace, that you are focused on yourself. You are focused on treating yourself to whatever you want. You suddenly feel you haven't been socialising enough, and suddenly you have parties booked a few times a month. For the sexual beings, I see you getting yours in the second half of 2025. I see one-night stands, friends with benefits or anything that you like engaging in sexually being done wantonly. I see this self-focus on filling your own cup with dreams pr creativity bringing you immense peace. For those pursuing a SP, your success with this individual will bring you greater peace. Isn't that delicious?

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Hello Pile 2:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme for the first half of 2025 is going to be money/business success. I feel that some of you have fully come into adulthood. I'm getting the feeling of 'my brain just fully developed'. The energy of this pile is that of someone who balances their maturity with their inner child needs. I see possibly a new job or a new business venture which came up as well for the previous pile. This new start can cause some confusion or introspection depending on the individual. I sense that you are scared of new beginnings or are used to doing things one sort of way but life has ushered you upon a new path. I see that the answers are within you, but you are too frightened to fully stand in your power and go, 'yes, I knew the last job was literally sucking my soul so it's okay that I have to pivot'. The key to happiness and business success for you is through following your passions. I know, how cliche. Yet you never know how a random talent or hyper-fixation can lead to something real and tangible. Pile 2, I see you moving on from previous heartbreak. You are burying and leaving behind painful memories of love and instead replacing it with passion, creativity and who knows...maybe new love.

2025, 2nd half:

The similarities in the actual cards I drew, is almost an exact replica with pile 1 so you may also relate to that pile. The main theme of the second half of your 2025 is all about renewal. Like a butterfly birthed from a cocoon I see you rise with fervour. You are focused and grinding. You are going so hard for yourself and achieving your dreams. You are being daring about things you've always wanted to try. I see you challenging yourself with hobbies, with thrill seeking activities. I see you achieving professional success and being in the spotlight for those achievements. Embrace it, soak it up. It is meant to be, let this be all the validation you need. There is a couple or two individuals who are aware of their spiritual connection to each other in this pile. You may have been on a break, or travelling or apart for some (necessary) reasons. You will get a sign sometime in this part of the year to connect with this person. So one of you will be reaching out via DM or however you both prefer your communications. I see a masculine in this pile in particular being very vocal about insecurities to do with work/business. I feel that this could be a masculine leaning on his mother through this time period. Just do whatever you need to to process your very valid fears then let it go. I recommend a burning ritual if this applies to you. This doesn't have to be a male person but whoever identifies with coming across at this stage of their lives in a masculine way. I see as a result of these conversations, you will make a decision on how to proceed and take appropriate action toward your new beginning.

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Hello Pile 3:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of the first half of you 2025 surrounds you being unsure how to proceed with a particular situation. I see a masculine energy or that of a person who is charming charismatic and self-assured,  being defensive and on guard with their heart after realising that they've the  love of their life. We always imagine that getting what we want we will immediately accept and embrace it. Instead Pile 3, you meet someone you like and you immediately acknowledge how unique and how distinct the feeling they give you is but you are so determined to ignore it or tell yourself there is something else at play here. Now that I am starting to interpret, I am seeing now that this lack of certainty from you pile 3 could be coming from how unbelievable it is to you to find someone you so strongly want to attach to and immediately want to drag down the isle, lovingly of course. You feel both lucky and scared that this little bit of luck might run away. For some of you I feel that you were already on a lucky streak and have now hit the motherload. I'll be honest and say though this person is the main focus mentally and emotionally, it will not be long between you realising that they mean that much to you and that your attraction for this SP is different, to you making an honest offer. For those already in union, your story looks a little bit different. For those in union, I am seeing an unmarried couple with the man in the planning phase of engagement. You will know if this is you because the masculine in the couple is strong, sexy and self-assured. He also may have been recently defensive about how much he is working. This is because he knows you want a surprise, he knows what you want in a proposal and he is gonna make it happen. The heavens are literally opening up to help you make this deeper commitment come together. Any couples with a wedding date in this half of the year in Pile 3, I see a great wedding and a true realisation that you have done the right thing by being with this person. Any couples already married, you could simply be deepening the bonds of your love. I see this through some sort of recitation of affections or something ceremonial (whatever that means to you)

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme of the second half of your 2025 is health. You may be having some secrets unearthed from your childhood that opens a can of worms for you to now digest. For some of you, you simple know that you have leaned too long into your naivete and have decided to finally do something to facilitate your growth and maturity. This pile is giving growth. With this new journey to explore the depths of yourself, comes gossip. There comes talks and speculation about how you are making so much money. How are you acquiring so many assets or how are you never seeming to struggle financially? Then the chatter goes into your sex life. There could be rumours you are sleeping around for money or you are being particularly sexually free at this time. This may or may not be an accurate representation of what you are doing, but that matters not. You are not defined by people who are not taking the time to know you but instead, speculating like you are spectator sport. If you are being at all promiscuous then please be aware that this can cause more burden or a different sort of trauma to unpack at a later date. By interacting with so many people, you are opening yourself up to microscopic tears to your psyche that will need to be repaired. I see you receiving messages from a SP. The feminine in question is coming through as a confident, sexy and ambitious woman. The man is coming through as ambitious, powerful and sexy. This is not necessarily gender specific so you could be the woman with the qualities of the man I see in this reading. It's not something to get hung up on. There is a sense that you are both defending what you have to the outside world while also drowning in the passion that you clearly have for each other. You're both drowning, willingly.

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Hello Pile 4:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme for the first half of your 2025 is gossip and or chatter. Yet despite that being the main theme, the clarifying cards also show me a different secondary main theme which is of material comfortability. The reading has more pentacle cards than anything signalling money and resources, tangible or physical. You are coming through Pile 4 as a confident, successful single. If you are not single, you are certainly someone who feels whole and complete within themselves. This is not at the expense of another, but just an expression of the work you have done on yourself up until now. I feel the need to say Pile 4, you should be so proud of yourself for everything that you've achieved. You. Did. That. I see you being generous with you resources, but also vigilant. I see you making your younger self proud by being able to facilitate your desires materially. You have worked your way into a lucrative job or if not, you have lived a lifestyle well beyond your means and gotten comfortable with watching your savings beef up. If you need a massage you just get it, kinda energy. You don't think well, is there enough in my account, because you are either so financially responsible you know the ins and outs of your funds, or you're not pedantic but you allocate enough funds for everything you need. You run like clockwork even if it's something that you didn't always do. You have gotten to a place where you know which buttons to trigger within to achieve anything you need for different aspects of your life. You are coming across as untouchable, Pile 4. Your aura is extremely attractive right now and you could not look more delectable. You may be giving or receiving an offer of affections. This could be platonic or romantic but I feel for more of you it is romantic than platonic. Though you may have to take a second to think about it, you will consider yourself lucky in this opportunity and take it. You and your new love are happy and materially comfortable, together.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme for the second half of your 2025 is grief/burdens. Some of the people in this pile, I see you travelling to pursue a new beginning. This could be anywhere to a new country/state. For some you are moving your whole life elsewhere while others you simply have not travelled enough and are off to make this dream a reality. There's something public about your trip. You could be documenting it or you may be very vocal about any struggles you may experience along the way. Struggles with money or logistics. Through the hardship though that you may experience along the way, you find yourself. For some you are finding yourself again, deeper aspects of your iceberg beneath the surface.  You find your own resilience and you are enchanted by it. You may at times punish yourself or self sabotage. You might spend too much on ubereats instead of saving or using sex as a distraction from your life. So long as you are being mindful and checking yourself when you feel those escapist tendencies coming through, you should be fine. A lot the changes you are going through at this time are fated. I see you going on a long journey of self-discovery, especially surrounding betrayals from others or from yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to go through this period in a messy way because it's through the chaos that greater clarity will come through. It's through the inner conflict that you find that flickering ember of light.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎

Hello Pile 5:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of your reading for the first half of 2025 is parents/authority figures. I feel that in this pile someone feels that they have been betrayed or duped by a parental or authority figure. Well I am here to tell you that the instant-karma they are about to receive will make you smile a little on the inside. I see you receiving a message likely through messages/online that this individual in question has been punished. Now this could look different for different people but for some of you I sense jail. Others more like a streak of bad luck or losing something important. I see a couple represented as masculine and feminine but these are energies not actual sexes. Both thinking, separately about their shared future. It's like people who are already seeing each other starting to daydream that they can really make it work. Or this could be friends who are starting to fall for each other. Well, aren't you lucky Pile 5 for the one you want not only wants you, but you are ordained to be together. You will receive the true happiness you have longed for. You forge forward you two lovebirds, leave the dust (parent/authority figure) behind as you hold each other shamelessly into the future.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme for the second half of your 2025 is that of sexual tension/sexual exploration and for some of you just mental self-flagellation. You take whichever sounds like it resonates. Pile 5, you are becoming more and more self actualised as time goes on. In the second half of the year, you are feeling even more so that you are understanding yourself more and therefore better able to reach your highest potential. You know you are a star, you know you are destined for greatness and you know you have the will to achieve it. You have the tenacity, the staying power and the patience. You may receive heartbreaking news of betrayal in the second half of the year. For some of you this is because the person you were with has been unfaithful in some way (could be cheating or lying or anyway which counts within your own value system). For some this news was so obscure because there was some deceptive energy from the source. Once you speak to your partner, you unearth and realise that it's not your partner that is the problem, but elements outside of your relationship that are trying to cause you confusion and evidently a breakup. Whichever group you belong, I see this being something you will conquer and overcome through your self confidence. Sometimes the best way out is through. I see you refocusing on your foals, creativity, sexuality and therefore returning yourself back to a state of true happiness. You realise that as long as you have yourself and your dreams, everything else is inconsequential.

@cosmicspark24

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hello. I know I've sent in messages before but very very rarely. But recent events have caused us to have a question. Just this week, we got officially diagnosed with D.I.D and recommended the idea of getting a psychologist for the first time in my life, besides a psychiatrist. Two of my alts say they can't be serious but the other three think they are bout the psychologist and we are nervous. I saw you talking about disorganized attachment in your latest posts and was wondering if you could tell me more bout what that is because it sounds like I may have experienced that and I'm trying to understand myself and us more from others with experience with D.I.D and similar disorders. We hope that makes sense! We are still very new to all of this. Thank you so much for your time. - Us

First, congrats!!! Try to come back and tell us what therapy and the interviews are like! I'm certain my followers would love to hear about it. It's scary, I'm so proud of you ❤️

Disorganized attachment is both very complicated, and quite easy to understand. I just reblogged a couple old posts about it, but this will be shorter :)

This is my favorite image to describe it!

Note that disorganized attachment (DA, from here on) is linked to low trust in self AND others. All of these types of attachment have shown strong links to different types of disorders, but DA is most associated with dissociative disorders.

The most important thing I've learned is

Even well-meaning, well-intentioned, loving parents can cause DA

DA can be hidden trauma, its relation to neglect is much stronger than originally thought, and neglect is a lot harder to spot and understand than straight up abuse.

A quick note here: DO NOT play trauma Olympics-- with yourselves, with others, on this post, nothing. Trauma is a personal reaction to events, abuse, or neglect and can occur in response to literally anything. When it comes to CDDs, we're looking at cumulative responses resulting in psychopathology, and you don't get to decide what was enough for other people.

It's their reactions.

Mind your own business.

So, all that said, DA is about the child being both fearful and reliant on caregivers. They want to both flee to and flee from caregivers. When a caregiver is unpredictable, the child has a difficult time establishing a consistent view of the caregiver, and of themselves. In other words, the caregiver is both needed, and someone to be avoided, and the child may not understand what makes them a “good” or “bad” child, as the caregiver’s behavior is often confusing and unpredictable.

I'm going to throw out a couple examples here:

Parent A has yelled at you, and you're scared to go to parent B and talk about it - neither parent feels safe but they're your only source of comfort

You're hungry, but parents scold you for eating too much - you're both scared to ask for your needs and yet reliant on their abilities to meet them

Sometimes parent is attentive and kind, and sometimes very dismissive - you never know what you're going to get, but when they're dismissive, it kills your drive for things you thought you enjoyed - sometimes parent puts your art on the fridge and sometimes they throw it in the trash, and maybe that particular piece was important and you'd expected better reception

Parent gets physical when they drink but at school, parent is a model citizen and teachers and other students always tell you how lucky you are

Parents are openly homophobic and you think you might be a little gay - they're good people otherwise (you think), and maybe if you just keep that part of you down...

Parent struggles with their own mental illness and you never know what kind of reaction they'll have, but you treasure the good memories and hold out hope you'll see that side of them again, despite the many letdowns

Parent doesn't let you keep anything to yourself, it's to the point you want to avoid them as much possible, only seeing them for meals

Parent is... mean. Just flat out mean, and they'll tell you no one will listen to you. There's no point is trying to find help with other caregivers-- teachers, babysitters, friends. It's just you and them, against the world.

The start of DA is typically formed in infancy when a parent doesn't respond properly to their child. Missed feedings, not enough skin time, mixing "cry it out" with giving in, ignoring cries for food or changing. These first attachments in infancy set the tone for all your attachments going forward. Meeting needs and milestones help the brain develop in a healthy way. If some of these milestones are missed or slowed, you tend to see psychopathology of some kind as a result. Various future relationships are likely to be affected, and more often than not, you respond to your own children the same way-- a type of intergenerational trauma.

And this is only the grey areas. We haven't touched full and proper abuse and how that can affect someone.

The result of DA is that a child will try to push memories and feelings about their caregivers down so that they're not bothered-- they can interact with their caregiver, whatever mood they're in or whatever happened yesterday.

If you just kill your feelings, parent's outbursts don't hurt as much. If you just don't think about what they did to you, you can put on a smile and get through dinner.

This is, in and of itself, dissociation. A rejection of feelings or memories. DA on its own isn't very likely to cause a CDD, but with additional trauma, it's... oof.

Children with DA and suffering from abuse “are likely to generate two or more dissociated self states, with contradictory working models of attachment,” in order to handle their confusing relationship with the caregiver. This can go in several directions, not necessarily a CDD, but it becomes much more likely.

So, the child needs to maintain a relationship with the caregiver– they have no one else to turn to, so the child can develop dissociation as a way to make sense of themselves, and to maintain a child-caregiver relationship. They may “forget” the abuse, or deny it. “It is an adaptive and defensive strategy that enables the child to function within the relationship, but it often leads to the development of a fragmented sense of self.” This fragmented sense of self may or may not develop into something worse– namely, BPD and DID based on severity, frequency, and whether there was any sense of reprieve (i.e. a child can avoid the worst of dissociative symptoms if one of their parents was more supportive, because it helps them build some positive attachments).

I really hope this helps!

Good luck, come back soon!

[shadowsndaisies]

Your nightingale series is 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼

I literally read through every chapter you’ve posted in 2 days! I love love love it !!!! Can’t wait to see more <333

aaaah! thank you so much!!! as a treat, enjoy some Ollie and Birdy bonding!

......

"Okay, Kid, Dinah said you're almost street ready, which is great, but before we set you free on the city we need to make sure you're able to get around," Oliver stood tall beside you as he led you through the now abandoned (and slightly decrepit) Queen Manor.

"If this is about the maps, D said I aced her ‘I'm lost, Birdy, where are we?’ tests," you shoot back with narrowed eyes.

"Yes, we're very proud that you can mentally navigate, I meant physically traversing," he clarifies, waving his hand around.

"Are you gonna teach me how to drive?" your eyes had blown wide in excitement.

"Absolutely not," he negates, smiling at the way your expression dropped into a pout.

“We will be waiting at least until you’re 14 for that,” Oliver adds on.

“That’s not fair, how am I supposed to get around if I can’t drive,” you counter.

“A normal person waits til sixteen,” he shoots back, and you shut your mouth for the moment being. “now, as I was saying, traversing, as in grappling,” he clarifies.

“grappling?” you repeat.

“Yep!” and he leads you up the stairs.

He finally stops in the attic and stands next to a broken window, looking out you see a gymnastics net has been set up on the ground below you, the same used in trapeese acts.

"That's a long way down," you note cautiously.

"It is," he nods. "How far do you think?" he asks with a quirked brow.

"Well we're about four stories up, a story on average is about fourteen feet, so we're about, what? fifty-six feet up?" you estimate, taking a second as you go to do the math.

"sixty-five, but your math process is spot on," he nods.

"sixty-five feet," you repeat, looking out at the ground, which seems to spin a bit the longer you look down.

"And this is the short end, when you're out there, you're grappling from, around, and between sky scrapers," he adds on.

"oh," you say softly, rolling the tip of your shoe against the floor. It's a bit of a tick, Oliver's noticed, not directly obvious which works in your favor, but something he's going to have to talk with Dinah about for sure.

He sighs and takes a knee to be closer to your eye level. You're still so young, so small, barely nine years old, "look, kiddo, today... today and for this training I can't be your friend, Ollie, okay? I have to be a little harsher. Grappling is an important skill, but it's also dangerous and Dinah and I need to make sure you're ready to move through the city like this, that you're trained properly for it," he explains, a hand on your shoulder.

"okay," you nod, voice soft.

"Okay," he repeats back, standing back up and leading you a table, there's a bow, and a grapple gun. "Here's how the next few weeks are going to go. First we're going to learn with the gun, make sure you're able to hold it, that you understand how it works. we are going to take this thing apart and put it back together until you can do it in 30 seconds or less. then, we're going to work on shooting, on testing what's a solid grapple point, and once we're confident in our choices we're going to work on actually using it, swinging around and stuff."

"Is that why there's a gymnast's net outside?"

"uh, yeah, about that..."

your brows furrow down, and if he weren't so anxious about what he had to share with you, he'd probably be cooing at the expression of distrust, "what?"

"Dinah thinks it's important to learn how to... fall," he says slowly.

"fall?"

"fall," he repeats, nodding and looking out.

you pause for a second and he can see the gears turning and sees when you put it together.

"you want me to practice.. falling," you say again.

"yes."

"as in, i will be falling down onto that net, from up here?" you ask.

"yes."

"This was Dinah's plan?" you squeak; the look of betrayal on your face forces him to choke down a laugh; your eyes are so expressive, and sometimes he is just stuck in awe of you.

"yes," he nods again; he’s not going to tell you that they both did this; he rather likes being the good cop.

"I do not like this," you decide.

"yes, we didn't think you would," ollie admits. "I am however, incredibly proud of you for saying so," he smirks.

"you would be proud, stupid pysch based child rearing," you scoff.

"Have you been peaking though Dinah's books again?" he asks, lips quirked in a knowing smirk.

you roll your eyes, "maybe."

"our smart girl," he smiles.

"So... when does the falling come in the schedule?"

"With the shooting," he admits.

"Not today?"

"No, not today," he reassures you.

"What if.. what if I want to try today?" you ask, he notes that your shoe is rolling again.

"kiddo you don't have to-"

"I want to, I want to know what I'm getting myself into," you tell him, tone resolute, and that's a pretty fair request.

"Okay, after we work on assembly and disassembly, at the end, you can try take a dive," he nods, and he can see you nodding back at him, trying to hype yourself up. "I'll do it with you," he adds, and your shoulders seem to lose some of the tension they were holding as you nod back.

...

wc: 921

synopsis: ollie introduces birdy to grappling

main masterlist

codename: nightingale series masterpost

...

everything tags: @butterfly-skinnylegend

dc taglist: @grey-water-colors @batarella @loninctzencarat @escapenightmare

cnng taglist:

@babymango-writes @smile-more19 @bruiscdlikeviolets @truly-dionysus @farfromjustordinary

@sometimeseverythingsucks @dweeb-central @lucy-roo @casedoina @cipheress-to-k-pop

@anonomano @seninjakitey @whelmedparker @officiallydarkgeek @midnxghtblue

@unini @blackwhiteandshadesofgradient @dontmesswithbeebo @raggedyoldwitch @unicorn-mya

@bouqet-of-gay @duckmylife18 @kendallambrosio @notslaybabes @torchbearerkyle

@cynthiarose07 @lolsnacks @mono--moonchild @emo-space-tea @notsostraightweeb @cryingnotcrying 

@sassyspanishartist @ahyeonah @acceber1313 @onepieceformeplease @whatislifeandhowdoidoit

@luvelyxp @lovelyartemisa @evermoore580 @mischiefmanaged71 @aces-tattooartist

@we-flower-fan @awkward-youtube-trash @laurcad123 @sanovr @feverish-dove

@raginghellfire

[cowboyjen68]

Hi, I want to advise you, Miss Jen . I am a 19-year-old girl, and I am a lesbian, but unfortunately, my family does not accept this idea and do not like gay people, and I have not yet told them this. I don't know what to do. I want to tell them, but at the same time, I'm afraid of their reaction. The problem is that I don't have close friends to tell this to.

So can you please give me some advice?

Because I have been following you for a while, and you make me feel comfortable when you share your stories and advice here or on TikTok. I really love you and wish you all the best 💕💕

I had a few moments on Monday so i did a quick Tiktok addressing your question.

My advice it to not tell them. Your first priority is to stay safe and maintain stability (housing, healthcare, education, etc. You don't owe them that part of your life.

I completely understand the desire to share such an important things with our parents and family. We love them and we want them to know all about things that are important to us and that includes such a core part of us, our sexual orientation. You are not any less of a lesbian if you keep that part of yourself private from them.

Put your focus on a job, a driver's license, a bank account, collection documents like your social security card and birth certificate and finishing your education. Once you are on your own and are paying for housing, health insurance and other necessary things then you can make the decision to tell them. Even once you are on your own, you do not have to. If you fear loosing them there is no shame in not coming out to them, now or ever.

You will eventually meet friends at jobs or school who will understand you and love you for all your core values and you can be yourself. Or choose what to share and what not to share. You are allowed the boundaries of some things being private with some people.

Even back in my youth the line of "Silence equals Death" was used by some to force others to come out when they were not ready or not in a safe place to do so. To be clear, that is not what it meant.

To this day I see others encouraging younger people to be "out and proud " because "we" will support you. The fact is, strangers on the internet are not able to take on the truly hard stuff of parenting that goes well beyond emotional support. It entails being responsible for a young person's mental. physical and monetary well being and it does not end at early adulthood.

Stay in the closet at home, seek friendships at work or in school that are fulfilling and trustworthy. You are not being shameful to stay safe in your home.

I am glad you found me on social media. And remember, just because I am out and loud now does not mean I always was. Taking our time to get to a good and safe place to be out takes time and courage.

[come-away-with-me87]

The Art of Love Chapter 18

Chapter 17 here

******

Shouta arrived at your house promptly at 7:00pm, which made you smile.  Despite his busy schedule, you were happy that he always tried to make time for you.  You opened the door to Shouta holding a bouquet of flowers, which he held out as soon as you opened the door.  "Shouta, these are beautiful," you said to him while giving him a kiss on the cheek.  You invited him inside, and started looking for a vase to put your gorgeous new flower decor in.  "Please, have a seat. I know I have a vase here somewhere."  While you searched, Shouta took a seat on your couch, making himself at home.  You looked over at him and had nothing but pleasant thoughts, mostly thinking about how you could get used to him being around like this, hanging out on the couch after a long day of work.

You finally found a vase and put the flowers in it, then went over to the couch to sit next to him.  You took a deep breath, mentally and physically preparing yourself for this conversation.  While you had those pleasant thoughts just moments ago, you needed to face reality: this could end up being a tough conversation.  Still, you were willing to hear him out; he deserved that much, especially after the way you reacted the prior evening.  You looked into his eyes.  They were slightly less red and swollen than earlier, and that made you smile at him.  Finally, you took his big hand in yours and said, "go ahead, Shouta. I'm just going to listen, not react. I promise."

Shouta looked back at you, and started telling his story, looking down at his lap.  "Y/N, this isn't easy for me by any means.  But...when we were apart, I started seeing another woman...Anya...who you saw at my door last night."  You felt your heart skip a beat at this statement, but nevertheless, you squeezed his hand, nonverbally telling him to continue.  "I need you to understand, I...I tried my best to be strong and not wear my emotions on my face, but the fact of the matter is...I was devastated when you broke things off with me. You are one of the best things to ever happen to me, and the thought of not being with you, it just...it just broke me."  He paused for a moment, and you took the opportunity to reflect.  You had no idea that he felt as strongly for you as you did for him.  You had no idea that you had this effect on him.

As if he was reading your thoughts, Shouta's eyes quickly darted up to yours, then he looked down again.  He continued, "Yamada saw how miserable I was, and he wanted to set me up with a friend of his...to try and get over losing you.  So I said yes, desperate for any distraction.  He set us up on a blind date, and things went well enough that I continued to see her for a few weeks."  You felt your heart drop, but you remained silent, letting him continue.  "That is, at least, until you messaged me asking if we could talk."  You looked up at him when he said this, thinking about his words.  "When you messaged me, I had my first glimmer of hope that I had in weeks."  

He continued, "I am not proud of what I'm about to say. Not proud at all."  You still remained silent, but gently gave his hand a squeeze in encouragement, letting him know he could continue.  He gave you a small smile in response.  "Again, not proud. But I more or less stopped talking to her the moment you messaged me."  You looked at him in bewilderment, suddenly feeling slightly sorry for Anya.  However, you remained true to your words at the beginning of the conversation, and remained silent.  "I know that sounds awful, Y/N. Looking back, I was a complete ass for doing that to another person. I really hope you don't think less of me."  You could never think less of him, though.  Sure, he did not handle the situation with Anya well, but you knew that, inherently, he was not a bad person.

"Shouta, I could never think less of you. Although, I hope that you have spoken with Anya in the meantime, and have apologized to her. At the very least, she deserves that," you finally stated.  You decided to not tell him about your encounter with Anya last night in the parking lot.  There would be no point, and it wouldn't change anything.  He immediately replied, "I figured I owed her a face-to-face apology, so I met up with her today on my lunch break, and apologized profusely for the way I handled the situation."  You gave him a small smile at this in return, and looked down at your lap, and decided that this was your opportunity to not be silent.  "Shouta, if I may interrupt for a moment, this is important to me. I have to ask...did you sleep with her while we were apart?"  His eyes quickly darted up to yours, and he immediately replied with a stern no.  "I was never interested in...that with her. Even though you and I weren't together, I still felt like it would have been cheating. I just couldn't do it. She didn't want to accept my apology," he continued, "but I made my stance clear today. I told her I was in love with someone else."

This time, your eyes darted to his, asking him to repeat what he just said, not believing you heard him correctly.  He gave you a devilish grin, "I told her I was in love with someone else.  I'm in love with you, Y/N.  I have been for some time now, but I didn't want to say anything too soon, especially if you didn't return my feeli-"  You stopped him mid-sentence by jumping into his arms on the couch, feverishly kissing him.  You finally broke away from the kiss, voice thick with tears, "Shouta, you silly man, of course I feel the same way. I'm in love with you. My plan was to tell you last night, but then...well, you know..." you trailed off.  "Really?!"  You giggled at his response and playfully slapped him on the shoulder, "yes, I love you."  Shouta smiled the first real smile you have ever seen; it made your heart swell.

"Shouta, I'm so happy. I never thought I would love anyone again after Kento, but you made it so easy for me to trust you and fall for you. You've completely captured my heart," you said to him, returning his smile.  "You're the first woman I've ever loved, Y/N. It was effortless falling in love with you, especially after seeing the way you made Eri smile and come out of her shell more."  You clasped Shouta's hands in yours, "this may not be necessary for me to say, but I love Eri, too. If we're going to be in each other's lives, then that also includes Eri."  In response to what you said, Shouta looked at you with so much love in his eyes.  For the first time in years, your heart felt genuinely full and happy.

******

To be continued...

******

Tag list: @lili-pond ; @jaguarthecat ; @big-denki-energy ; @ivydoesit23 ; @salientseraph ; @dreamofkaty ; @simp-hub ; @bluebreadenthusiast ; @fuzzyfestcat

[fungisteri]

It's funny. A few weeks back I was doing fantastic. I had shed away suicidal thoughts. I felt like I finally had a sense of direction, a sense of purpose. That things were going to be just fine. Now it feels like I'm plunging into the abyss, and everyday is a fight. I haven't relapsed into suicidality, but it feels like it's going to happen any second now.

What changed?

I guess that realizing that I had been engaging in mental OCD compulsions my whole life did the trick. Realizing I had been thinking the Wrong Way is just making my thought process collapse in itself. I don't know where my compulsions end and my actual self awareness starts, but it doesn't matter. Engaging in compulsions is Wrong. I can't just make a decision that's Wrong when I know it's Wrong: If I do that, I'm being willfully obtuse. I'm worth less. I'm embarrassing. And god, I'm tired of being embarrassing. Shame is the worst feeling. I can handle sadness, I can handle anger. I can't handle shame. The only way I can handle shame is by avoiding it. Or, well, I could ask for reassurance, but that implies admitting what I'm doing that I'm ashamed for, and by that point physical pain would probably hurt less. Way less.

If you know what my home life is like, it's easy to see that this is all because of my parents. They're the ones that taught me to overcorrect, that anything less than perfect is not good enough. That keeping appearances is way more important than actually being what you're pretending to be. I'm never going to be able to actually please them, because before they ever acknowledge the right I do, they will seek out what I did wrong and shove it in my face and tell me that I should just do better.

And that's fine. Well, no, it obviously isn't. But like, it's been long enough that I can accept it. The actual problems here are that 1. I'm fucking awful at handling their disapproval (especially with how mean they can get) and 2. I've internalized all of this. Which makes perfect sense, but would you really be surprised if I told you I beat myself up for having an impossible time rejecting this Wrong Way of thinking? Yeah. This is what I'm putting up with.

So, now that I have established all of this, what do I do?

Well, the hell do I know? [Laughs]

I've become self reliant with problem solving to this extreme for a million reasons. But even then, I just don't know how to operate here. As much as I may have trained myself to have all the answers, to find the reason of everything that make up my emotional mechanisms, this goes in too deep.

It's embarrassing to say this, actually. I'm really proud of my problem solving; it feels like I'm dropping the ball by saying this. Therapy would probably help, but again, I can't just go for that knowing what happened every previous instance.

So, if you've actually read this far: First of all, thank you for your continued support. Second of all, what do you think? Do you have any suggestion? Don't feel bad if you don't! Not everyone's equipped to untangle this sort of thing. But I'm at a loss here, so everything helps.

Besides, it's probably about damn time I actually reach out to someone else, right? [Laughs]

[ateez-himari]

SOCIAL MEDIA UPDATE 231024

NEW TWITTER UPDATE

[NEW UPLOAD FROM HIMARI]

ATEEZ(에이티즈) @ATEEZofficial

[#히마리] Five years ago we made our debut with hearts full of anxiety, wondering if anyone would even bother showing up, and now we've just ended a world tour. At first they were strangers to me, people I was too shy to approach but now whenever someone asks about them I simply say 'my second family'. They've scolded me, cared for me, held my hand, showered me with love, dried my tears, created my smiles and played a part in raising me. We're much more than friends, we're soulmates...because in every life I would choose them, no matter where or who we are. I know Chuseok has passed but I want to make a wish. I wish for the nine of us to keep standing by each other for a very long time...so that we can get old together. Let's continue our journey okay? ATEEZ HWAITING! ㅋㅋㅋ Happy 5 years to us, to my home.❤️9 MAKES 1 TEAM! (I can't ever get them in a picture together sorry ㅠㅠ...) #ATEEZ #애이티즈

Translated from Korean by Google

10:45am. · 23 Oct 23 · 2.5M Views 41K Reposts 1,267 Quotes 1.3M Likes

mikah @himaswife Replying to @ATEEZofficial We always joke about Joong and Hwa being the parents of the group but think about it...Hima was around 14 when she came to KQ and hadn't been with her family much for about a year cuz she was at JYPE. So they basically finished raising her🥹

koala koala @koalazia Replying to @himaswife omg yes she even has similar habits to each of the members😭idk who else knows this but in an interview Yeo said he saw her copy her older brothers' actions a lot and he noticed she was doing the same with them

cheongdam pepper @33khj Replying to @ATEEZofficial new pre-debut photos yes omg! i've been an atiny since the beginning and i can't believe they've already grown so much- hima went from hiding behind the members bc of all the hate and social anxiety to being a global ambassador for versace and 4th gen's little social butterfly

nabi @jigeumfly Replying to @ATEEZofficial happy 5 years our ateez 🥂we're so proud of you! you went from performing in small theaters to your first ever stadium, becoming the most successful 4th generation group not from a big company. you truly deserve all the happiness that comes your way (also the way she talks about them...my heart can't take this i'm crying)

TOQTOK UPDATE

CHECK OUT THIS NEW COMMENT FROM 히마리

🐯: I didn't think they'd remember either but my brothers all sent me congratulation messages this morning ㅋㅋㅋ My parents called me instead and my mom was really emotional so it made me cry a little bit but it's okay because it was tears of love. I'll go see my birth parents soon! I haven't brought them flowers in a while so they must miss me a lot. It's okay though I'm sure they've been watching over our shows and ATINY as well so they'll understand!

CHECK OUT THIS NEW COMMENT FROM 히마리

🐯: I guess it's true that sometimes I act like the members ㅋㅋㅋ I've always had a habit of copying people who taught me so since they raised me for a while I copy them a lot. Hongjoong oppa says I started biting people only after meeting Wooyoung oppa...so I guess some of them are bad influences ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

5TH YEAR INTERVIEW

'As we're filming this it's ATEEZ's 4th debut anniversary already which means we've pushed through a lot of bad times, a lot of physical and mental struggles. My hope for you is that when thinking of the past you're able to see the happy memories more than the negativity, that you can see everything you accomplished over the years. I also hope you've gotten strong enough to let go of the members' hands sometimes and that you can help them as much as they've cared for us. Learn to take a break sometimes so we can go back to painting okay? Hwaiting!'

Q: Do you feel you've become stronger since last year and that you've learned to rest?

When looking back it simply feels as though I've become more free in the past year, not putting as many harsh restrictions on myself which makes me a lot happier...and I guess it's a form of strength so yes. It's still a bit hard to get into the mindset of taking a moment to rest so the process is slow but I'm getting there at my own pace. I think past me would be proud to know that I've started to paint again...actually my room is filled with messy tools a lot nowadays.

Q: How would you describe your relationship with ATEEZ?

In very short terms...a group of eight chaotic big brothers who would be willing to steal the moon if I asked. They've shown me so much love that it feels as though I can't refer to them simply as friends anymore so...family.

Q: What modifier do you want ATEEZ to have in 2024?

Growth has always been very important to us so even if there's nothing I would wish to change within our team, I want us to keep growing. Whether it be as people, musicians, dancers, performers or even our career, I want us to have come a farther way next year than where we are now. Not only for us but also for ATINY to be able to grow with us without thinking that it is something much too intimidating or unachievable.

Q: A word for ATINY who's been with ATEEZ for 5th anniversary in 2023.

It might seem like something we say very often...but thank you. ATINY have been our biggest motivators from the moment we made our debut and they've always laughed with us, cheered us on, given us words of motivation and during hard times they continued to support us no matter what. They make ATEEZ whole. So ATINY make sure to stay healthy and know that we're behind you too no matter what. We'll make sure to work hard so you can always be proud of us. I love you!

Q: A letter to myself a year from now.

I'm sure that there are still a few mental struggles you need to face but remember that with the members behind you, you won't ever fall far so please don't be afraid of anything. Continue to give as much love as you can to our parents, our brothers, our members, our friends and ATINY so that they can also find the same hope we have. I know you'll be a lot stronger by the time you see this and I promise that I'll keep working hard okay? I can't wait to meet you next year!

[hisui555]

Hazbin Hotel thoughts : Foils 2

(Foils 1 here)

(Foils 3 here)

(Foils 4 here)

Masterpost here.

Crawling back out of my cave because my stupid brain won't let me rest. Synapses fired all night yesterday, I'm sure there's some structural damage in the front lobe from all the fireworks going off and bouncing around the walls of my skull, but mostly color me impressed that my asocial side actually got cowed into submission, by PRODUCTIVITY of all things, holy shit, why can't it happen for job interviews ?

...Anyway.

Aaaand without transition I would like to talk about Rosie VS Carmilla (I'm putting a "VS" so that it's clearer from a couple/team, see Foils 1), especially around Ep 7, which has just this magnificent parallel between them, respectively coaching Charlie and Vaggie (yes, TV Tropes already covered that one, shhhh, don't tell my spark of productivity, it might disappear and play dead for months again). For the A plot, we have Charlie, led by Alastor, who's going to Cannibal Town to meet Rosie and ask for reinforcements - basically getting an army of cannibals to lend a hand, even if it's not theirs and has some bite marks on it. For the B plot, on the other side, Vaggie goes to Carmilla to learn how angels can be killed, and from that on asking her for the appropriate weapons. On both sides, the two girls learn about confidence and fighting for the right thing - Charlie grows into the leader she's capable of being, Vaggie steels her resolve and grows her wings back.

What's interesting about those parallel scenes is how much Rosie and Carmilla contrast each other, and are similar to Charlie and Vaggie respectively yet have differences : again, a square of foils. But let's talk about the (seemingly) older women first.

When we stumble upon Cannibal Town, it has a very gentlemanly aesthetic, streets are clean, people are well-dressed and polite, and if you forget the minor detail of cough eating people cough, they are quite the amicable bunch - something Charlie herself comments on, how "surprisingly nice" it is. The second we meet Rosie, we understand why : she's a councelor, the unofficial mayor and of course the Overlord representing them all. She's a faultless host (again, if you don't care much about her specific ingredients), very accomodating, and doesn't rebut Charlie right away despite her enormous demand. In fact, once Alastor chimes in that her citizens would be not only well-armed but also well-fed, she's happy to give it a go and coach Charlie on how to convince them (well, for the most part. Susan.), showing she knows her community very well. Rosie is shown as more of a knowledge broker : she trades information to Alastor in exchange of favors, seems to know things about him that even our deer friend doesn't ("A what now ?" *Pats your shoulder in ace, buddy. You'll get the hang of it.*), and overall comes off as very well-informed.

In the meantime, we follow Vaggie to the industrial side of the Pentagram, where it seems to be more smoke, steel and craft than rural, pictoresque town. Carmilla doesn't let Vaggie enter until she threatens to spill the beans out in plain view of the street, and once she's inside, Carmilla is immediately verbally hostile and commandeering the whole speech ("Ninety seconds."), rebutting each of Vaggie's claims with clinical precision - rightfully countering that she doesn't want to bring the trouble to her doorstep, and put her loved ones (+ workers) in danger, to which Vaggie counters (also rightfully) that if the Hotel fails to defend itself, Carmilla might still kiss her pointy shoes goodbye. Once the time is up, Carmilla attacks, but it's quickly blatant that she's actually stealthily coaching Vaggie into fighting better, both physically and mentally. She's ruthless, brutal, and elegant, but not with the same elegance as Rosie : Rosie's charm and mannierisms are day-to-day, yet she's a proud cannibal, so her elegance hides a very carnal nature by the way of eating human flesh (even if she wraps it in pretty ribbons in a candy box), while Carmilla's cold and sharp demeanor hides her graceful but efficient fighting style - I mean, have you seen those twirls and acrobatics ? Hot dang, she's cool. Rosie is a knowledge broker that knows damn well how to use her information, Carmilla is a weapons dealer that knows damn well how to use her weapons : no wonder she arms herself (and her daughters) first. Carmilla, on the surface, rejects Vaggie's deal, but after a few moments, we see that she's turning it into her own way of helping.

Now we arrive to the two main songs, Out For Love and Ready For This, who are almost back-to-back. Charlie has had her moment with Rosie, who genuinely helped her through her personal problems and her moment of uncertainty concerning Vaggie's secret, and it's time for the big rallying song. And, Charlie, you're cute and all, but sightseeing and camaraderie aren't the things cannibals are interested in - they might have a child's heart (somewhere in a jar behind a desk), but EATING is where it's at ! Good thing Alastor chimed in, hm ? Which kinda rebounds on his private part of the song with Rosie ("Stick with her, you'll be on the winning side !") : their motivations are more selfish than we think. Rosie is genuinely kind and empathetic, but not altruist : doing the Princess of Hell a solid might be a real advantage in the long run, especially for someone like her who trades in favors. On the other side, Carmilla has it out for her own reasons right away, but does a selfless move by teaching Vaggie and lending the weapons : while she doesn't directly stick her neck out, she still helps from the shadows. Her main motive is to protect her loved ones and avoid bloodshed, while Rosie's and the cannibals are to get their belly full and gain political advantage.

It's really like an hourglass between the two : Rosie hears Charlie (and Alastor) out and accepts to help but actually for selfish reason, actively and directly helping Charlie to assert herself, talking her through therapy and words - a language Charlie is very receptive to - teaching her confidence and leadership (something Vaggie already has). Carmilla on her side rebukes Vaggie but actually for more selfless (even if personal) reasons, indirectly (but still actively) helps her to rekindle with her own emotions and be honest with herself (something Charlie already is), all that through physical training and fighting - a language Vaggie knows quite well. You'd think they have the names of the songs crossed and mixed up, yet they fit perfectly : Charlie needs to be Ready For This and finally face physical confrontation, while Vaggie needs to be Out For Love and honest with her feelings and past. They both complement each other.

The smiles Carmilla and Rosie also give at the news are contrasting : Carmilla hears the news and smiles a little smile, to herself, looking proud that it worked, and proud of her 'student'. Rosie on her side has a charming, calculated, wide smile that seems to spell out 'now there we go' and 'ooh, this was nothing, darling' more than 'good job', complete with a cup of tea. It's like she smiles more at the camera than out of genuine pride, unlike Carmilla who just smiles to herself. You'd think tough-as-nails Carmilla would be the last person to teach people to fight for love, yet here we are, while ladylike elegant Rosie, who does show genuine understanding and kindness, is also planning to use Charlie for her own gain.

Wrapping this up, Charlie & Vaggie VS Carmilla & Rosie : Carmilla is kind of a more experienced version of Vaggie (a figther, determined, devoted to her loved ones), with Charlie's core ideas (love, compassion, avoiding fights) while Rosie is a more experienced version of Charlie (connections, empathy, people person) with Vaggie's way of thinking (strategic, knowledgeable, prepared).

Like Vaggie, Carmilla is a fierce fighter that you don't want to piss off, with people to protect, an expert in dealing with weapons (cherry on top : both about angelic steel), even physically they're quite alike : long white hair (especially when Carmilla lets hers go in response to Vaggie's grumbling), similar tone of skin, palette in dark grays and white mostly (Vaggie has more pink where Carmilla has black), both are also Hispanic. They already (unknowingly) share a duet in Whatever It Takes, with personal reasons very close to one another. Carmilla is the perfect combination of Charlie's ideals and Vaggie's realism, leaning more towards Vaggie's side as a fighter. They also look the less relatively demonic, past some features (like Carmilla's oversized arms).

Rosie on her side looks like an upper-class lady who is the leader of her town and an Overlord (mirroring Charlie being a princess and the founder of the Hotel), sharing some reds in their respective palettes (even if Charlie's is more solid red and Rosie's burgundy), pale hair and a very affable, accomodating demeanor. Rosie is the perfect mix of Vaggie's pragmatism and Charlie's kindness, leaning towards Charlie's side as an informator and councelor. They naturally stand in the spotlight, one way or another, and guide people through their problems. They're also both more "demonic" : Charlie is the literal Princess of Hell and hellborn demon, while Rosie has notable very sharp teeth, pitch black eyes (like the town citizens) and... what was it again...? oh right ! Eats people.

(Don't worry, I'm not always a smartass : sometimes I'm asleep.)

That went longer than expected (...as always), but, well, enjoy. Skyscrapers like those are useful when you have time to kill. I might need to consider doing a masterpost for those... might be more practical for those crazy enough to want to read all of my inane rambling (boredom is such a pain, right ?)

Hope you enjoyed.

Again, Masterpost here.

[tarnishedxknight]

Headcanons: Drace and Martial Arts

{out of dalmasca} I just wanted to share a headcanon I have for Drace that I'm... honestly not sure I put in her bio or not, haha, and I'm too lazy to read through it, so I'll just say it again. Below the cut for length.

Drace is very much into martial arts. She likes weapons training and for her, training is as much a hobby and a meditative release as it is necessary for her occupation, but she also likes training and meditating without weapons, or with ornamental weapons that aren't meant for real battle.

What I imagine is that she does something like this. Obviously it would probably be a bit different because China doesn't exist in Ivalice, heh, but in much the same vein. Something that involves a lot of strength, balance, and a decent amount of artistry too. She would do this without her armor on, and so I imagine that whatever her private quarters are aside from her office as a Judge Magister, they would have floor space enough for her to engage in these kinds of exercises, because this wouldn't be something she would want to do in a public training space and leave herself too exposed. Especially since the point, aside from maintaining her strength, balance, and control, would be to actually meditate, so her mind would be focused on what she's doing and not on anyone who might come upon her.

If your muse is someone with privileged access to her private quarters, they have probably seen her doing this on a frequent basis. She would continue this into her MCU verse, except she would probably feel comfortable doing it in the training gym rather than restricting it to her room all the time. Do with this information as you will, heh.

For her, it serves two purposes: 1) it keeps her very strong, flexible, and in shape, which is necessary for wearing that heavy suit of armor around each and every day but also for facing off in battle against men a lot larger and stronger than she is. And 2) it provides meditative benefits for her. She enjoys this and it makes her emotionally happier and calmer. Having to slow down both mentally and physically, be very controlled, and be very precise and steady in her movements, gets her mind to focus on that instead of the stresses of her day or anything else that's bothering her. It also makes her proud when she executes the movements properly, and it feels physically good to perform them.

Drace has a love of martial arts and weaponry both as art forms in addition to being important for her role as a Judge Magister. She was first exposed to martial arts through a tutor her father hired for her when she was a pre-teen. By that time, Drace had already expressed an interest in following in her father's footsteps as a Judge Magister someday, and although her father was fully supportive of her ambitions, he also recognized that she was viewing it in the sense of glory and adventure rather than the hard and often stressful work and fighting it would actually entail. He told her that being a Judge Magister was as much about her mind as it was about her skill, but a tiny Drace didn't understand. So to help her understand, he hired the tutor to help align her mind and body, as it were, and to teach her patience and control.

It stuck with her, and she found herself pursuing and expanding upon what she'd learned for years after that tutoring ended. She is now a master of several forms of martial arts native not only to Archadia but in other places of Ivalice as well.

[purpleandstarlight]

Dadbastian Week - Day One: Proud

For all the trouble that his Young Master put him trough, being in a contract with him could be entertaining, at times like this. This demon had made the right choice when he answered the call, even if he had started regretting it soon after.

When Sebastian first met this cursed child, he was weak. He was a mess of tears and both physical and mental wounds, looked completely shaken, and like the slightest blow of wind would be able to knock him down where he stood.

And yet now, just a little over a year later, Sebastian had to say: the Phantomhive Earl knew what he was doing. Lying like it was second nature, stabbing people in the back (sometimes literally), interrogating his enemies while coldly pointing a gun to their heads and following up with his threats if the target wasn't taking him seriously and he was feeling vicious enough, making grown men weep for mercy at his feet. It was satisfying, to see the length of how far this child would go for his own selfish goals, knowing it was partially thanks to his own intervention in the kid's already broken psyche. Sebastian never had kids of his own -nor did he ever plan to- but he had to guess, as he saw his Young Master rise from the ground after taking important documents out of the pockets of a target he had insisted on killing himself out of spite, this was what a human father would consider "pride".

"What are you smirking about, over there?"

The demon blinked, getting pulled out of his own thoughts by the same kid he was thinking about, who was now busy glaring at him.

"Nothing, my Lord. I guess I just got...sentimental."

The Phantomhive rolled his eye.

"As if you know anything about feelings..."

"Ah, but as a Demon, don't you think I must know about them? How would I tempt and twist humans otherwise?"

"I don't doubt that you can understand human emotions. What I'm saying is, it's very obvious to me that you can't feel them yourself."

"As ruthless as usual, i see."

"Like you're any better..."

The Earl finally turned, walking forwards and trying to decipher one of the documents in his hands for any chance at finding the culprit.

"Well, just so you know, I was reminiscing about the past."

"What, any especially exciting mass murder you were the cause of a few hundred years ago?"

"Not that far back. I was actually thinking about our first meeting."

"I see. How festive," Although his comment was as dry as a desert, it was obvious that a cautios kind of curiosity was biting at him when he asked, "What brought this on?"

"You've just grown a lot since then, haven't you? You cried a lot that day, but now, you pile up corpses left and right by your own hands with no hints of regret. It's quite the development, is it not?"

The young Lord's shoulders shot up, the sound of his footsteps stopping for a moment, before quickly going back to normal.

"That's right. Can't say I'm proud of it, but I can't really deny it, either."

"Well, if this can quell my Master's worries, I am proud of you."

They both knew it wouldn't. That it would do just the opposite. And they both knew that was exactly why the demon had admitted to it.

"Ah yes, a Demon straight from hell, intent on seasoning my soul with any messed up kind of spice my broken mental state provides, approves of my actions. What a reassuring thing this is." The young Earl rolled his one visible eye, before turning back to the document in his hands. "Shut up now, that's an order. We still have a job to do, and i want to get back to the mansion quickly."

"Yes, my Lord."

[libra-stellium]

Tracking Mars transits!

Notes from Planet in Transit - Robert Hand

Mars opposite Sun (Apr 30 - May 6)

This can be a time when some activity of yours is brought to a triumphal climax

This could be few things: my nails were so long and I was so proud of them (writing this on 6/3 and they're all broken now lmfao), i finally found a spray that worked to get rid of the mold on my bathroom walls, and I successfully made red thai curry chicken on my first try!

This activity may have started during the last transit of Mars conjunct your natal sun (Aug 26 - Sept 3 2023)

That was around the time when I started intentionally making food at home more and it was not going well lol i had chef block! And almost a year later I was making red thai curry chicken HEALED

The last transit of Mars square your natal sun (Jan 3 - Jan 10 2024) you had to face a challenge, if you survived successfully you will now enjoy the fruition of that effort

I don't remember if I faced a challenge lol during that time at work is when they asked me to sit in court with them to time the arguments for 20 days 9-5 and I thought I should quit lmao but nothing related to that happened in May....maybe it was a mental thing! I could stretch it and say that when they asked me that I panicked that I had nothing to wear (and hated my outfits the 3 days i went to court bc they ended up not needing me for 20 days lol) but in May I wore this really cute outfit out!

Mars trine Jupiter (May 9 - May 16)

One of the best transits for any kind of activity, high energy, feeling good, belief that you can do twice as much work

I did a lot! I cooked, I went to zumba, I went to get my friend a parking pass which ended up being like a two day ordeal lmao

Extremely favorable time for any physical activity, muscles have unusually good tone and vigor

Yep! Zumba was great! Also on 5/12 I got this body composition thing done at the gym and it was so funny bc as the guy is explaining to me that most people are not symmetrical he reads my results and was like "oh! I guess you are" lmaooo he doesn't know i'm a libra like of course I would be balanced on this thing lol

You are able to act with a complete picture in mind of what you are doing

I've been working on a 3000 piece puzzle and I got the bright idea to put the part of the puzzle away that I already finished bc looking at the size of it is overwhelming! I made so much progress in a couple days compared to a couple months

You can plan with greater foresight and thereby avoid pitfalls and be regarded as lucky

This! I felt so lucky getting my friend that parking pass bc we saved $55! I wen to go pick up a long term pass for 7 days and it was $150 and the guy in the office told me that if I came back the next day I could get the monthly pass for may instead half off for $95 and I was like BET and came back the next day to get it! It was also less work than the long term pass bc all they needed was my name not even a license plate

Particularly favorable time for any work that can advance your own interests

Spent time making the itinerary for my trip to Amsterdam!

Mars opposite Moon ( May 20 - May 27)

When I read about this transit I was so scared of it lmfao I was like omgggg this is literally my trip what if my bestie and I have a falling out? LMFAO absolutely ridiculous i've known her since 2007 there's no turning back now lol

Emotionally based relationships may be somewhat difficult, women may be especially hard to deal with, this transit creates emotional confrontations forcing you to master aspects of yourself you're not usually aware of, confrontations will be most powerful in your closest emotional relations

When I came back from my trip on 5/26, on my aunt's bday, after she opened the gifts I got her she told me how she shared my pics with my mom i'm NC with..... and I was like wtf??? why would you do that?? I felt so violated!! My moon is in the 8H so honestly it wouldn't be normal if I didn't get hit with some random act of betrayal from family frfr

If you are not self aware your actions will be dictated by irrational desires

I AM self aware! I was so angry at her for doing it but I didn't snap! I took 5 days to think it over before bringing it up again

Period of testing and confrontation which points to relationship tensions

yeah this was really showing how on my mom's side my aunt is bc it was so easy for her to disregard my boundaries just bc she "felt bad" my mom was sad and I honestly think it's bc I'm doing well in life so it looks like I'm the "bad person" to her bc i'm not suffering from going NC *rolls eyes*

Conflicts at this time all serve to creatively release tensions that have been buried within you and to increase your self knowledge

True! Bc what a random way to confront the whole "whose side are you on??" with my aunt willingly telling me that she share my trip pictures with the one person i intentionally removed from my life lol

Mars opposite Mercury (May 22 - May 29)

This overlapped with the Mars opposite moon above! And I avoided bringing it up again until 5/30 bc I knew i had this transit lol the boundary I set with my aunt was that she would no longer be getting pictures of what i'm doing and getting details about them bc I can't trust that she's not going to randomly "feel bad" and share with my mom and she responded "I respect your decision"

Today may be full of disputes and arguments

Not a good day for trying to settle arguments because neither you nor your opponent will budge

Your ego is thoroughly bound up with your opinions

Make sure that there’s a real issue at stake and only if you have a real position then defend it

Excellent day for any kind of mental work as long as you don’t have to work with others

Hasty because energy is high but self discipline should help

Be careful for any situation that has potential for accidents especially while traveling

Mars square Neptune (May 26 - June 2)

Deal with feelings of doubt, discouragement and inadequacy

I was feeling bad at work bc I've been so mentally exhausted I haven't been able to complete my work and I feel so bad about it like they're going to message me and tell me they know I haven't been doing shit lol

Taking the easy way will have you face even more discouraging consequences as a result

This may be a stretch but I was EXTREMELY bloated during this time because I was opting for snacking instead of full meals or just eating at weird hours instead of sticking to a schedule lol that was me taking the easy way and I couldn't sleep some nights

Your physical energies are low at this time, try to relax, body is more subject than usual to minor infections, chills, fever, and excessive physical strain should be avoided

Forgot about this transit and I went to bodypump on 5/29 and I can still feel the soreness in my armpits omg and I could barely walk on 5/30 lol I think the weights I picked were too heavy for this day

You'll have a successful transit if you conserve energies and confront your fears

I was exhausted lol mission failed! But i had fun so lol

[viciousbite]

Darkfang Drabble

Where is the strength when you need it most?

tw. Mental/physical abuse (?), Charoite being a verbal bastard

Why didn't he fight? Why was he hanging there? Holding onto his attackers arm plating, doing nothing. Not struggling for his life, nor clawing his optics out. His worst enemy, the one he hated most, each piece of him. He deserved to die, to be torn to pieces. But his frame, it didn't move, frozen, with his spark stuttering in his chest.

The Mech before him, calm, servo squeezing Darkfang's neck cables. Holding him, observing, each part of his frame. Each flicker of those golden finials, his golden optics, wide, and terrified. The taller Mech knew the Snake hated him, to his very spark, he saw it upon him. But oh, still too weak to fight him. Poor thing.

"Expected me to be dead? Well, technically yes, and also no." Charoite began, his deep smooth voice brushed over Darkfang's audials, causing another violent shudder to course through the Snake's frame. No, that voice, real, alive. His vocals stuck within his intake, glitching, servos trembling and squeezing Charoite's arm plating.

Move, frame, move, get out, no, tear him to shreds, claw him, bite him. His finials dropped to their lowest point, denta parting, gasping, for air, when he didn't need any in the first place.

"Hmm? I see, the shock must be quite overwhelming." Charoite mused, placing his free servo over the side of the Snake's helm, petting those finials. Making Darkfang whine, as the stream of coolant broke down, hating every moment of it. The vulnerability, the weakness, not like him, like all that time of fighting, of surviving, had been for nothing. Where was the violence, the strength, the bravery?

"You have grown into quite the beautiful snake, who has put his skills to many interesting uses. I'm proud my efforts have not been wasted. Although, it seems that personality of yours still needs adjusting. No matter, it shall suffice." Charoite noted down verbally, his gaze like a burn, that felt like it tore apart each plate from the Snake's frame. Clawing inside, and twisting each wire.

A crash, the pressure upon his neck cables vanished, his frame clanked against the ground. Servos and pedes scrambled for hold, and pushed his frame against the nearest wall. Whole frame shaking, and tail between his legs. While servos clawed at his own chassis, the hisses and growls finally came out of his vocals. Optics burning with rage, beneath all the fear, and helplessness.

Meanwhile Charoite returned to chatter away with his companions, and to prepare to leave after having a look at his old science project. "Ah, and, Darkfang, I'm glad you never gave up on your performing career. Your shows never fails to impress me, and I hope our unfortunate meeting won't put your new ones on hold."

The words alone, silenced the vocals within his voice box, staring at the tall seeker in disbelief. Right, a scientist never forgets, never stops keeping track of their projects. Not until they die, oh, no. No, No, not free, had he never been free? How many times he'd been there? Watching?

By the time Charoite left with his mechs, Darkfang's claws scratched and clawed at his own frame. Frantically searching, for anything, a tracker, anything. A sign, of how did he know, how had he seen him. But there was nothing to find, only paranoia, of fear, and weakness.

He'd ruined his chance again, like he always did. Like his frame never listened to him, not even after all this time. He thought he'd changed, gotten stronger. But no, he remained that small snake, trapped in a lonely room, unable to escape.

Hah, had it all been for nothing?

[coinflict]

15 people 15 questions!!!!

Tagged by @suzufield thank you yay ^^

This is a long one so it's under the cut and also idgaf I love hearing myself talk I love the sound of my own voice!!!!

Not really, my given name is that of a saint like most names from here tbh, but my mom picked it because it's short and she wanted people from everywhere around the world to be able to say it which is kind of cute. I don't have chosen name I have like 3 nicknames people alternate between, one of them is Ani or AniGC which I use on the internet and I don't plan on picking one I think not having a name is cool!

1. Are you named after anyone?

2. When was the last time you cried?

Nope, too young, and also having my own kids or parenting/fostering is not something I am fit to ever do I don't think I would be a good parent. I'm a lesbian so biological kids are kind of out the window (not really but don't want them regardless, better safe than sorry on this matter I think). I would love to work with kids though at least once in my lifetime.

Genuinely yesterday I love crying I cry all the damn time it helps me fall asleep. What the libs don't want you to know is that depression is actually awesome because you can cry all the fucking time and you don't need sleeping medication! Yay for mental illness!

3. Do you have kids?

4. What sports have you played/do you play?

I did karate for 8 or 9 years from ages of like 6-14, loved it, then I fell down the stairs and fucked up my spine and had to quit. Then I did swimming for a bit but nothing too serious and I quit that because I got bored now I do fuck all.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes a lot but I try to not get too irony poisoned lol, I mostly just say outlandish shit but I do use sarcasm.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I couldn't tell you if you put a gun to my head. I don't fucking know 😭

7. Eye colour?

Brown! ^^

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

This is a strange one I'm not really big on either of these things. When it comes to horror I'm not really a fan of movies I feel like a thing inherently becomes a little less scary when you show it to me or when it's moving you know? Idk I like some of them but I really do enjoy horror books those are awesome. And for the other thing I don't know is it a happy ending for me or the characters? Like I enjoy all plot threads being tied together well but if that doesn't make my fav happy GOOD. Let that bitch suffer. To actually answer the question I think scary movies lmao.

9. Any talents?

Why yes I'm very awesome. Idk I'm a fast learner genuinely that's the biggest thing I've got going on I think almost everything I know I learned on my own accord, it was never given to me, and idk I'm kind of proud of that idgaf if it sounds corny. I can also dislocate my thumb that's kind of cool.

10. Where were you born?

In the hospital (Serbia but I don't like saying where I'm from too much I want to remain a Mysterious Figure On The Computer and now you have to ignore the fact that I frequently post about this)

11. What are your hobbies?

Running the risk of sounding like a loser nerd I love studying I love learning things if I could stay in school for the rest of my life I genuinely would. I love learning how shit works and I'm gonna be honest organic chemistry has been among my favourite things to study ever it's so perfectly logical and awesome one of the best sciences ever for sure. Besides that I like doing fuck all and taking the piss on the internet.

12. Do you have any pets?

Nope! Small apartment and not enough money or time to take care of them. One day I will get a cat though trust.

13. How tall are you?

184cm that's like 6'0" I think?

14. Favourite subject in school?

Idk probably physics. High school level chem was incredibly fucking boring I didn't even have to fart to get good grades. Math and programming were my original beloveds but I fell out of love with them very soon after starting high school due to bad experiences with teachers. So yeah probably physics idk the only subjects I think about at this point are the ones I'll have next year in college I can't fucking wait for atomistics.

15. Dream job?

I feel like a fucking idiot being at my age and telling people I want to be a scientist but like!!!!!! I do I genuinely do!!!! I want to be a researcher and do cool things I want to be entranced by the work I do maybe this sounds so incredibly optimistic because it's likely that if I become a researcher I'll be eating packet noodles for the rest of my life but!! That's my dream!!!

I cannot be assed to tag 15 people I'm sorry also I think everyone and their mom has done this at this point so I'll tag. 3 take it or leave it! Sorry if any of you have done this already 😭. Also if you haven't but don't want to that's fine lmao no pressure

@k-ru-h @viegoinahoodie @schrodingers-catgirl