#i'm reading the faerie smut

[thesylphroad]

Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 2 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Commence Chapter Two

Even though just a few minutes ago narrator gave us that whole concerning spiel about how her world has no color in it anymore, the moment something good finally happened her world is "a living painting" once again. This is textbook catastrophizing, and I will say it again: protagonist absolutely has BPD. I love this, because it makes her more relatable as a heroine. But also...seek therapy, please. There is a less compelling counter-argument to be made for the possibility that she's simply suffering hallucinations in color due to starvation and/or hypothermia, but overall I'm feeling confident about my prognosis.

In chapter one narrator foreshadowed her two sisters as these sort of...2D villains...but now she's walking into the house and catches their muffled talking from inside and she's like (paraphrasingly), "I don't actually need to hear what they're saying to know it's something stupid about like boys or ribbons" which is so cunty but I love it. Like, this sort of knee-jerk condescension where she minimizes them to silly, shallow, frivolous little idiots without even HEARING them...chef's kiss. It's this implication that our protagonist isn't such a black and white instrument of morality that makes her character more likable in my mind.

She extends this same flavor of contempt to their father in the very next paragraph, because it turns out he's also wildly incompetent, and gullible to boot. We learn that this is a combination of their family's unfortunate financial situation, a smattering of PTSD (courtesy of some kind of evil banker crony guys attacking and crippling him), and what reeks of depression-induced executive dysfunction. Dad has basically fucked off and given up, sisters are essentially useless.

Verdict: there's definitely some weaponized incompetence going on in this household, and everyone just assumes narrator is going to pick up the slack (she does). She also vaguely hints at the fact that she's only DOING it because she has to. Reader (me) is not surprised to hear this. Narrator takes promises very seriously, and is constantly burdened by this promise she made to their dying mother. Their dying mother knew to place this burden on narrator, because...well...quite frankly the rest of the household fucking sucks. Dad is fruitlessly chasing the "someday I'll be rich" dragon, courtesy of the book's real-world parallel of our capitalistic brainwashed poverty regime; he is doing little wood carvings no one fucking wants because he's a freelance whittler in a destitute village where nobody can AFFORD HIS SILLY CURIO CURIOSITIES. Sister Elain is pretty and brainless and probably just needs to marry a rich man with a big garden (she loves flowers). Obviously this one is Dad's favorite, which is just an extra sting to the narrator's piling list of injustices. Sister Nesta is...a cunt? There's a line about how she deliberately places Dad's cane out of his reach, which is funny but also, what the fuck? This could also be some manifestation of her just being really unsatisfied with his mediocre parenting, which is pretty understandable in retrospect.

This chapter is...better than the first. Thank the forgotten gods. Author struggles with the concept of nuance. This is less of an issue for the narrator, because the author overtells everything the narrator thinks and feels (to an extreme degree); but once we are introduced to characters whose perspectives we aren't given directly, it becomes a problem. For example, I know I'm not supposed to hate the narrator's sisters. The only reason I know this is because the narrator has explained to me in exact words that SHE doesn't hate them. But are they WRITTEN as irredeemable villains? Yes, absolutely. Can I forgive the fact that they don't notice the narrator is covered in blood, or offer to help with any of the meal prep, but immediately both jump to what she can buy for them with the money she gets from the wolf pelt? No. But I get the sense that I'm supposed to, in that EVENTUALLY the narrator will insist that I root for them.

If the author had chosen to make the sisters CHILDREN, I would feel a lot differently here, because, despite being the youngest child, the narrator is shouldering the brunt of the household's emotional and financial needs. She promised her dying mother she would play mother once she was gone, which...is not fair to her, obviously...and now I SEE why she took 3 years to leave the forest and has a branching inner monologue that rivals Homer's Odyssey and a very pronounced, undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. They do SEE her as the mother of the household. But considering the narrator is 19, and they are both OLDER than she is, their lack of empathy just makes them look like fucking monsters. Do I hate them? Yes, I've been urging narrator to burn her house down with her entire family inside since I started reading this chapter.

I'm thinking there is probably some significance to the faerie wards on the threshold, but I also just generally like the implication that even in this world of forgotten gods you still get a bit of good old-fashioned fundamentalist inspired fear-mongering. I also like that this is lore-accurate based on the way Celtic fairy faith was very much driven by a similar fear. Families were constantly seeking ways to defend themselves against the fae, be it with religious symbols or iron or salt or open scissors above a newborn's crib. This is why you don't keep welcome mats on the doorstep, this is why you need protection runes and throw your infant in the fireplace if you suspect it might be a faerie changeling. Some of it seems so silly, yes, but it does conjure up a sense of real fear, and how it is deeply-ingrained into the MORTAL side of this book's world, but we also see where the protagonist deliberately separates herself from the DELUSION of it. She's like, "Yeah these wards are obviously fake, everyone knows we don't have magic, we can't even hope to defend ourselves against the power of the High Fae." Protagonist is a realist; she is not indoctrinated by the false sense of security provided by these carvings on the threshold. It is very significant that narrator CHOOSES not to weaponize this secular understanding of the world around her, she CHOOSES to let her father live in this naive bubble he's created for himself. Just like she acknowledges the blind, shallow, selfish nature of her sisters but CHOOSES not to confront and unpack those issues. It's the most multi-faceted element we've gotten of this heroine thus far, because we know now that only part of this is out of kindness and empathy. The other part of her ENJOYS the advantage she has over her family members. They ARE absolutely inept, incompetent, naive, shallow, blind, shackled sheep in a pen, and narrator gets some small satisfaction from that. She is smarter than they are. She is more responsible than they are. She spares them the burden of being held to a higher standard because it keeps her on this pedestal, and the resulting sense of self-worth is literally ALL she has, that is her ONLY sense of self-worth, no matter how she may resent it. These two halves of her personality are held together by obligation and guilt. It's not that she ENJOYS playing mother to a grown man and two grown women; she feels like she has to, and at this point, it's all she knows HOW to do.

Narrator’s name is Feyre. I had a hunch because I am both clever and wise, but it’s nice to finally receive confirmation. Author makes certain to include pronunciation directly after, because author realizes most readers will not skip to the pronunciation guide at the end of the book.

In short, things I do like: The deepening of the story’s morally gray protagonist, the impending burden of responsibility versus guilt, the name “Feyre,” a deeply fearful human settlement built on the outskirts of faerie territory, whose only line of defense from their hostile neighbors is…ineffectual carvings in the windows (and probably like bits of iron or something), details like the brassy hair narrator shares with her sisters—juxtaposed by the disparity of things like eye color, and how her sisters and father all have a “clean” face—while she comes home, the contrarian, covered in blood,

Things I don’t like: lack of effectual character development for narrator’s sisters and father, the way two people in the same two-room house asked narrator the same dumb question about “where she got” the two animals she very obviously hunted and skinned herself, author’s hyperbolic over-use of adjectives, and this sentence: “My father’s deep rumble came from the fire.”

[atzfilm]

— 『 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋; 𝐨𝐭8 』 [4] (M)

— 𝚠𝚘𝚗 • 𝚍𝚎𝚛 • 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕, adjective. having someone who serves as a pillar in your life, who offers a sturdy place to lean in times of trouble. somebody you find yourself thinking about constantly and are completely infatuated with.

❝humans were such strange creatures. wretched in their mere existence. none of the eight were ever truly interested in them until they found you. they just find it strange that despite their status and rank, you'd rather spend time with your lover. that isn't much of a problem, though. one they can fix with ease.❞

〘ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ, ᴍʏᴛʜ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ꜰᴀᴇʀɪᴇꜱ〙(m.list)

— pairing: ot8 x reader, mxm; mingi x reader (this chapter); 9.6k

— note: this is a yandere fic. sensitive topics such as manipulation, gaslighting, murder, and other topics involved with the genre. please heed the warnings and read this work of fiction while keeping this in mind. also note: these chapters are very much introductory of each character & their roles, so smut is further down the line ♡.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: murder references, manipulation, blood, dark magic, kidnapping, emotional turmoil, injuries, smut referenced

Chapter 4:

"Do you think she's fairing well?" Wooyoung steps over a pile of debris, slipping closer to him. "The others are taking care of her?"

"What is with you and this woman?" Yeosang glances at him. Wooyoung's fingers are outstretched, his hand slipping into his with ease. The latter says nothing to deter his touch, knowing it's something that calms him. "Do you desire her?"

"Yes," Wooyoung shrugs. "But that's not the only reason. She's simple but different. She can't fall for my tricks because I can't manipulate her mind. Everything she says to me is genuine. I can't help but want her to want me. Is that wrong?"

"She is a human, nothing she says is genuine. Have you forgotten what we are?" Yeosang pulls Wooyoung closer as he steps over a fallen trunk. It's not too old – it may be no more than a few days since its demise. He places his palm against the trunk, whispering a spell before turning back to him. "Unseelie aren't kind to humans. And she will find out that you were the one who killed her lover, Woo. I doubt she'll take that well."

"I'm not going to tell her that," Wooyoung waves him off. "Besides, the male was so boring. She'll be much more entertained by our spark."

Yeosang holds up a hand, stopping him from speaking. Leaves crunch in the distance, Yeosang whispering a spell unto his free hand and pulling Wooyoung closer. He holds his breath, watching as the faeries appear in the small meadow. The spell he has cast only lasts for a few minutes or so. He can only hope that neither of them linger. The Seelie stay close to each other, rapid words exchanged.

"The human is resistant to faeries? How can that be?"

Neither of them speak, but Yeosang can feel how Wooyoung's shoulder tenses at the words.

"Yeonjun told us. He tried to penetrate her mind but she did not blink. Not one human on this Earth could stop him from entering their mind. She is the sole being."

"Then did he take her?"

"Not yet, not until he catches them off guard. Tonight he set the example, though. I doubt the Unseelie will be able to fight back after that mess. Bodies are everywhere."

Wooyoung’s eyes widen. He presses his hand against his mouth, closing his eyes to control his anger. His body trembles beneath the low light. Hongjoong instructed them that it was a brief mission, no bloodshed. But would he have guessed that the Seelie would cause their own to be deceased? Yeosang's hand grabs the side of Wooyoung's face, forcing him to look. Yeosang merely shakes his head, mouthing words.

Do not lose yourself.

Wooyoung nods slowly, taking slow breaths. They've missed a bit of the conversation.

"He will get her? That is his goal?"

"His goal is to hurt Hongjoong. Nothing else matters besides that. The human is just another body is his way."

They disappear from sight. Just as they do, the Unseelie bodies shimmer, appearing back in focus of onlookers. Wooyoung falls to the grass, fingers digging into the dirt. "They plan to kill my sunlight. My solaris. They will rid of her and we aren't there to see what they've done. We have to go back. We have to –"

"We aren't done, Wooyoung," Yeosang shakes his head. "Just a few more days. Hold on for a few more days."

"They've killed faeries, Yeosang. What if they killed one of our spark? What if Yunho–"

"You know they haven’t. Don't let yourself fall down that hole. We already have enough unstable mates, I don't need another one to fall apart right in front of me. Don't delude yourself like this," Yeosang ignores his words, sighing. "You would have felt it, Wooyoung. We are bonded. We would have felt the tear."

Wooyoung takes a long breath, "You're right. I need to calm down."

There's a pause as he stares. For a moment, he thinks that they should go back. For his peace of mind. Instead, he moves forward, hand reaching back. Without a moment's pause Wooyoung’s fingers slip into his, letting Yeosang guide him through.

—

Seonghwa wipes the floor. The stench is always overpowering. Each time a Seelie dies they leave behind such a putrid smell. A bit funny, considering how pure they are meant to be. He reaches for the knife you dropped, pausing. The look you gave them. It was like it was not you at all. He has grown used to the annoyance you've shown them, the fear when their words turned sharp. But not that kind of fear, terror. The glazed look. As if you didn't know who you are, what you were doing. It eerily reminded him of how Yunho loses himself sometimes. Seonghwa picks up the weapon, whispering. It cleanses itself at his words, harshly throwing itself back into its spot. Hopefully for good.

Jongho helped you off the floor, nearly carrying you to the room because you were so out of it. Hongjoong stared as you stepped out of the room, an unreadable expression on his face. There was nothing to be done then. Nothing they could speak about when you couldn't even think clearly. But Seonghwa just didn't like the look on his mate's face. Didn't like the slight gleam in his eye. In that moment, looking back now, he wonders if asking Hongjoong what he was thinking would change anything that’s soon to come.

He stands, flicking his hand to let the cleaning supplies pick up the rest. He sits at his table, eyeing the book he was reading once before. Seonghwa considered that you weren't a human. But he pushed those thoughts away. Assumed that he was thinking too far ahead. But now, seeing how you killed a Seelie? A human, killing a Seelie without any help? There's no possible way you're just a human.

He just has to figure out what you are exactly.

"You've been locked in here for hours."

Seonghwa barely gives Mingi a glance as he enters with hands tucked in his pockets, knowing the Unseelie would only try to calm him down. Or get angry with him, it depends on the day. "Hiding from us won't make our minds calm."

"I'm trying to figure out what's going on. Having you all speaking over each other in confusion and anger will only taint my thoughts."

"You used to find comfort in the chaos. It looks like you avoid it now. And continuously buy those toys of yours."

"You didn't have a problem with my figurines before," Seonghwa frowns.

"And I still don't now. I just can’t help but wonder why we can't be that safe place for you instead of plastic."

Seonghwa looks up from his book, finally meeting the eyes of his mate. Dried blood coats his face and clothing, white splatters burned into the fabric. He can see how his body trembles, bottom lip pulled back between his teeth. His chest tightens at the sight. Mingi lets their combined emotions affect him often. No matter how much they all insisted that he let them deal with it on their own.

Seonghwa closes his book. "You're upset."

"I want us, all of us, to be okay. But it seems like danger follows us no matter which path we take."

He sighs. "If you want us to get rid of her we will."

"I don't want that, hyung."

"Then what? What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to talk to us. Tell us how you're feeling. Stop hiding in the laboratory or library or the forest. At least try to let us in. Do you know how long it took me to calm Yunho down? I don't even think I have, he just stressed himself out to the point of exhaustion. I'm –" Mingi runs his bloodstained fingers through his hair. "I'm stuck. And I'm tired of pretending I'm okay with it all. I listen to Hongjoong's words even though I question them. I guard what you all want me to guard. I kill who you want me to kill. But I just can't stand around and accept it anymore. How long must I pretend to believe that everything is okay?"

Seonghwa watches Mingi's facade break, his rambling continuing on and on. He cannot believe he didn't notice how much it affected him. Sure, he was thoroughly involved with you, but that's no excuse to not see when one of his mates is falling into themselves. He covers his face with his hands, not bothering to wipe the blood off.

"Yunho is so lost, Seonghwa. I've seen him gone, but not like this. Not this much."

"I can talk to him," Seonghwa says softly. "You can be there too. And any of the others. Would you like that from me?"

“Yes,” Mingi murmurs. There seems to be something else in his voice. Mingi isn’t one to hide his feelings, so it comes as a shock that this is even a conversation at all. So Seonghwa continues to dig.

“And I’ll figure out how to persuade Hongjoong to take a more careful route. How about that?”

Relief seeps into Mingi’s face, nodding slowly. “I would like that.”

“Everything will be fine, Mingi. We just have to take it all one step at a time,” Seonghwa says softly. “If you’re ever bothered, I’m here. We all are.”

Mingi continues to nod, thinking. “And the human? What if we have to kill her?”

Seonghwa looks at him, unable to answer that question. Despite it being mere months since knowing of your existence, he can’t justify killing you now. Not when he is so involved with you, along with the others. Mingi seems to know the answer without Seonghwa saying anything at all. So he sits beside him, watching his mate continue to flip through the endless amount of research he has done.

After a couple of minutes, Seonghwa closes his research. Mingi watches him curiously, a box appearing on the table instead. A bit cheeky, Seonghwa places several smaller boxes of toys in front of him. Mingi picks up one, a photo of an assortment of plastic flowers branded to the side.

"I planned on gifting these to you all after I build them, but I think it'll be more fun to build together with you, don't you think?"

Mingi looks at him. He never really shares his hobby with anyone else in the spark, maybe San once in a while. Him opening up and allowing Mingi to intercept his time only makes his heart swell with glee. Mingi nods, sitting down at the table.

"It'll be fun," Seonghwa grins, slipping next to him.

—

The silence is draining.

You sit in the middle of the bed, knees tucked against your chest, head sitting on top. Mind utterly blank as you’re desperately trying to figure out why, how. What strength do you have to just murder a Seelie without help from one of the others?

You can remember the looks on their faces when they entered. Blood stinging your eyes, knife barely held between your fingers. The indiscernible face of the Seelie beneath the weapon. It didn’t look like one at all, not even a creature. Just a pile of parts. You try pushing those thoughts away, even if the image is burned in your mind each time you blink.

“Do you take us for fools?”

You barely give him any indication that you heard him at all.

“Now you pretend not to hear my words?”

“I’ve done nothing to you at all so I’m not sure why you’re even speaking to me,” you admit, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. His arms against his chest seem to cement themselves in place at your words. Him being furious with you is on the absolute bottom of your list. You haven’t even properly introduced yourself and he’s already pegged you for someone he can walk over. You’ve already been through it with Mingi. You’d rather not deal with it again.

“Your presence is threatening our position.”

“If you let me go none of this would have even happened. How is it my fault?” You frown.

San scoffs. “What a nuisance.”

“Look,” you finally turn your head, meeting the eyes of the angry Unseelie. “You can hate me all you want, but I didn’t choose to be here. Go and get pissed off with someone else for all I care, but not me. I’d rather be at home than dealing with all of you.”

“You would be home by now, but it is unsafe. I could care less, frankly. But the others do.”

“Better than dealing with a room full of strange people,” you murmur.

“It is crawling with faeries, human. If you even step near it, you will be killed. Leaving our premises might as well be a death sentence. But fine, go ahead. I doubt you won't last more than a minute outside of our borders," he turns around, giving you his back.

You don't dare test his harsh words. There's no way to prove that he's exaggerating or not, so you just settle it for yourself that it must be true. You can't help the thoughts that linger; Is Soobin okay? Would they attack him if he decided to show up at your house one day? Has he entered town at all? Have your parents tried to contact you? Why hasn't anyone noticed you're gone? There's no reason to ask San because he would just give half truths. Something you're very much used to.

You hold your fingers against your temple, humming softly. It's not enough that you're staying here. You'll only be ridiculed by one of them. Frankly, you miss Wooyoung being around. At least he was a comfort in between the angst. And what was his name… Jongho? Though your interaction was brief, he was kind to you. Calmed you down in the slightest bit. His words of comfort as he led you to this room helped.

"Do you know what you did to that thing? Why I'm standing here now? Do you even realize what it takes to take down a Seelie, human?"

"No, I don't. And my name is y/n, not human."

San stares at you. You weren't afraid of him since you've met him, but there is something in that look. Something that makes you tense. You truly doubt he would kill you at mere words. But he could kill you if he wanted to. That thought is enough for you to drop your attitude, at least for now.

"Taking down a Seelie requires strength unlike humans. Majik, unwavering strength. Mental fortitude. You have to know how to kill one, our flesh isn't as soft as a human's. We haven't been killed by one in centuries. So can you see why we're cautious of you?"

"I do," you sigh. "I do, but I don't even know how I did it? It's… there's nothing there. Nothing. When I try to think of it it's like it didn't even happen. I just remember entering the room, then Seonghwa came in and opened the door. And I had a knife in my hand. That's it."

"Why did you say what you said?" San asks.

"Say what?"

"You held the knife in your hand, you looked at Jongho. Then you said you didn't mean to. You looked terrified despite the situation. As if you didn't just kill one of the deadliest beings on this planet."

"I don't know."

"You have to know."

"San, I don't know."

Just as San steps forward your bedroom door opens. Expecting someone else, maybe Wooyoung, Mingi stands there. His eyes flick between yours and San, narrowing slightly. He nudges to the door as he looks at him. San's arms drop from his chest. He seems a bit hesitant. Mingi gestures toward the door again.

"I don't want you to be alone here with her," San murmurs.

"She won't hurt me."

It's as if you're not there at all. San continues to resist, until Mingi rests his hand on his arm. It's enough for San to nod slowly. He squeezes his arm, leaving the room. Mingi shuts the door behind him as he leaves, turning to you.

"Sleep."

"Sleep?" You repeat, and he nods.

"Sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. Yeosang and Wooyoung won't be back for days. But when they do come back, they'll have news. And we'll need to be prepared for that."

"I don't understand."

"Human," Mingi says sharply. "I get it, you're incompetent and unintelligent. But you do understand the language I'm speaking, no? You haven't the slightest idea what you have done? Did San not explain the danger to you? You killed Beomgyu, y/n."

Another name that continues to mean nothing to you. Mingi's frustration grows.

"He is a high Seelie. One of the most powerful faeries on this Earth. And you killed him. Now sleep. We must prepare you for what is to come."

He leaves.

—

You stare at your hands. A few cuts are slowly healing, scabs covering the wounds. None of them have mentioned the night. Not even San, as angry as he seems to be watching you roam around their home. Hongjoong hasn't been seen by you either. Very likely locked in that laboratory of his, experiments continuing. Mingi and perhaps Jongho, are the only two who've either greeted you or joined you in rooms. Yunho, despite how worried you are, hasn't showed up since that night. Mentioning it to Mingi wasn't the greatest idea – the painful look in his eyes made you switch the subject immediately – but you just want to know if he's okay. You saw that Seelie drag him away and there was little you could do. You ran, and he could have been killed. The least you can offer is an apology. Guilt ridden, you look up from your hands.

Mingi holds out the wooden sword to you for the nth time today. With great exhaustion, you take it from his hands. He scoffs. "You will be given a break if you knock it from my hands, human. It shouldn't be this difficult."

You hold back your frustration. "My leg is still messed up. You're taller and faster than me. How could I –"

"Use your size as an advantage. I've told you this endlessly."

"You haven't given me an opening!" Your voice rises, dropping when you see the quirk of his brow. "I just need an opening," you murmur.

"Fighting a Seelie who's trained since birth to kill won't allow for an opening. You have to defend and attack. Each time I raise my sword you freeze. You will die if none of us are around."

"I survived before."

"And you have yet to understand why or how it happened. You're at a loss just like the rest of us. Don't be foolish. Fight, because your life will depend on it."

You step back from him, planting your feet into the grass. Mingi holds no weapons in his hands. Just as you still forward Mingi flicks his fingers. Your body hits the ground again, and this time you don't bother trying to get up, groaning. "You're an ass, by the way. Didn't you all say those powers don't work on me? How can you just throw me to the ground?"

"Our influence does not work on your mind, y/n. But we can still move you. You just have to learn how to resist just like your mind has. Once you master that, we can move to true combat."

"I don't know why you can't mess with my mind!"

"Another reason why you have to stop using your pity as an excuse and help yourself. Stand and try again," he holds out his hand.

"She will be dead from exhaustion before she has even learned it," the snarky tone is one you wish you'd never hear again. Mingi stands up straighter, hands moving behind his back. He bows only slightly at the newcomer. "We have to move quickly. It is only a matter of time until one of them decides to penetrate our majik. Do you not agree?"

"I do," Mingi says simply. "But I thought you were with Yunho today."

"Jongho is tending to his care now. I've come to watch you train. By the looks of it, it only seems like torture."

You slowly lift yourself from the ground, dusting off your clothing. Mingi does not bother helping you up and neither does Hongjoong. Your legs shake as you stand, turning to Hongjoong. He rests against a fallen tree. Arms crossed, same mischievous twinkle in his eye. His gaze roams over your body, stopping when he sees the disgusted look on your face.

"What a weak, little thing. Too bad we can't just get rid of you." His fingers pull back his hair. The exhaustion riddled on his face does not move past you. All of them seem tired and drained from what's been happening. Yourself as well, body aching and limbs throbbing from your brief encounter with the Seelie you've killed. Killed.

You'd never in your life peg yourself as a murderer. And yet here you are. Gathered around many of them, yourself included. At this point you have no right to judge.

"I've already said what I needed to to you," you murmur, turning back to Mingi. "Again." You step forward and he lifts his hand again. This time you fall forward, his arm stopping you from hitting the ground head first. You push it away, straightening yourself. "Fuck this."

"You have to train–"

"I can barely walk straight and all we're going now is creating more and more bruises. What are we achieving? How have I gained anything in the past few hours?"

Mingi's brow twitches. "You haven't tried."

"I don't know if you remember but, I am a human. I can't just learn to be as strong as you by being battered over and over. I won't suddenly be able to fight against you."

Your frustration grows as you look at Mingi, a blank gaze watching you back. It's like he can't even hear what you're saying, no matter how you phrase it. Hongjoong clears his throat, distracting you.

"She's right, you know. I want you to train her. Not mangle her up to the point of her being unrecognizable." He glances at you. "y/n, do you not remember the night at all? Not a sliver of memory? It would make this all easier if you did."

"No, I don't," you say firmly. "If I did, I wouldn't let myself be thrown to the ground over and over again."

Hongjoong shrugs, "Then that settles it all, no? Mingi, change. We will be dining together shortly. Human, you do the same. Seonghwa will see you after this."

"What for –"

Hongjoong disappears from existence entirely, leaving Mingi and you alone. He steps around you, grabbing the wooden swords scattered about on the ground and placing it back in its holder. Just as he goes to leave, he turns back. "You don't seem to understand the situation we are under because of you. I've advocated for your death but everyone wants to keep you around because of your resistance to us. I hope sometime soon you find yourself useful, or I'll be the one to end your life."

There is no chance for you to twist his words, nothing that would make you believe anything other than what he's said to you. He speaks firmly and straight to the point. Very unlikely the rest of the Unseelie you've met. There's no room for interpretation. You nod, and he leaves you alone in the training field.

Ignoring the throbbing in your legs, you make your way back to the house. Despite how open it is, it’s only a facade - you’re not sure if you’ll ever be able to leave. And now, knowing how much danger you’re in, you doubt you even want to.

Jongho appears through a doorway, holding a book in his hand. His gaze meets yours, flicking over you. “Are you okay?” He glances down at your leg. “Not much time has passed since you were all mangled.”

You snort, “As good as I can be.”

He joins you promptly, the two of you walking down the hall. It’s funny - his presence feels more welcoming than the others. Softer eyes, smaller smile. Nervous maybe, but still. You’d describe it as comforting.

“What are you reading?” You ask. He looks down at the book.

“San gave this to me. It’s about faeries from human tales. It’s quite interesting. Tinkling bells is my favorite,” he adds, “Ever heard of her? Apparently she’s really famous.”

“Tinker bell?” You correct, and he sighs.

“Right, Tinker bell.”

“Yes I have,” you grin, and he nods. “Why’d he give that to you? He seems like he hates humans, doesn’t seem like the type to want to learn about us. From what I’ve seen,” you add. “He avoids me every chance he gets.”

“San is…” Jongho pauses for a moment. “He protects us fiercely, yes. He hates you now because he thinks you’re a threat. But once Seonghwa figures out why you’re the way you are, things will change. It’s silly, you're slowly falling into our hearts, so he will protect you as he protects us sooner rather than later. And he enjoys human entertainment a lot. I'm sure once he gets over himself you two would get along well.” His words are easily said.

Falling into their hearts?

“You care for me? Some of you do?” you stop walking. Jongho freezes, grip on his book tightening.

“I’ve said too much,” he says quickly. “They will be angry with me,” he sighs, looking down the hall. Seemingly making the decision on his own, he turns back to you. “Yes we do care for you, y/n. Why do you think we fiercely protect you? It is not only because we’re curious about your nature. We’ve known you for a while now. Even if all of us haven’t really officially met you. We are bonded. Our care lives within us all. Mostly Wooyoung’s fault,” he scowls. “He’s stuck on you.”

“That is the spark thing Yunho mentioned to me, right? It's like a pack.”

Jongho nods, “Yes. Once we’ve chosen to be in our spark, we are glued to each other. If one of us is hurt we all know, if one of us feels strongly about something, we all feel it. So that’s why it’s so easy for us to find your presence in our lives… normal? Ordinary? I’m not really great at human words.”

“No no,” you wave off his last sentence. “You speaking to me like this is enough. And you’re very eloquent, Jongho. No need to doubt.”

His lip quirks slightly. “I can see why they’ve grown fond of you. But yes, that’s why. Ah, but more importantly,” he digs into his pocket. A rock appears in his hand, similar to one Yunho gave you at the masquerade. “Yunho asked me to place a spell on this. To monitor your health, nothing more.” He says quickly. “I cannot lie.”

“...Thanks,” you take it, staring down at the surface. “Is Yunho okay?”

He bites his lip, “He’s recovering. But it’s best if you stay away until he’s fully himself. That’s what he asked us to do. I’m sorry I can’t say anything more.”

“You’ve said what you’ve needed to, Jongho. Thank you. I’ll see you at dinner?”

He bows slightly, walking past you and out of sight. You hold the rock tightly, making your way back to your room.

—

Seonghwa doesn't come to lead you to his lab for a few weeks and that you're grateful for. Rarely have you gotten the chance to be alone. Dinner that night was uncomfortable to say the least. Silence mostly. Three seats empty. Jongho gave you small smiles and it was enough to help you get through it. But still - the future of you dealing with them watching you with caution is not one you’re yearning for.

The door to your room swings open, almost cracking against the wall. Before you can even turn to see who it is, your breath is knocked out of you. You hit the floor, well almost, he holds you up with his hand before you land. Wooyoung almost squeezes the life out of you as he holds you close, body trembling.

“You’re okay,” He whispers into your shoulder. You grip his sleeve to pull him off, and he leans back, eyes flicking over your face. “You’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. You can let me go,” you tug on him again and this time he does, helping you off the floor. Your body throbs at how he threw himself at you, bruises from whatever happened with that Seelie that night throbbing. “I see that you’re back.”

He grins, “Of course! I’ll always come back for you. I had to see Hongjoong first to report,” he rolls his eyes. “He told me to stay away from you since we don’t know what you are, but how could I leave my solaris alone?” he tilts his head, taking a small step toward you. Without thinking, you move back.

He frowns, “Solaris?”

“I’d rather be left alone, Wooyoung.”

He scoffs, brows furrowed. “What do you mean? Ah, is it because of what happened a few weeks ago? You don't need to worry, I know you won’t hurt me.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” you murmur.

“What are you saying? Don’t you know that I won’t hurt you?” It’s different from when you first met him. The snide grin, the teasing gaze. All replaced with seriousness, perhaps a bit of worry.

Are you sure of that? You know what they are, what they may or may not have done. None of them have even told you how they feed, how they hunt for their next meal. You could tell whenever they eat in front of you. The reluctance to take bites, the side glances they gave one another. You can fairly easily presume that it’s through horrid means. You’ve seen enough blood splattered around to be sure of that, at least. But will they hurt you?

Will he hurt you?

The silence must have been filling up the room too long, Wooyoung’s face dropping as he waits for your response. Would saying no be lying? It seems like each time you do lie he immediately knows. So, despite the hopeful look in his gaze, you tell him the truth.

“I don’t know that,” you whisper.

His body physically deflates, hands clenching and unclenching at your words. “You’re not lying.” It’s a statement, not a question. He closes his eyes for a moment, a breath escaping him. “I won’t hurt you, solaris. I won’t. Just as I trust that you won’t hurt me.”

His words ring as true as he means them to be, but yet… you can’t bring yourself to believe them. No matter how much you know that Unseelie cannot lie. “Okay,” you say.

“Why are you treating my words as if I’m lying?”

“Unseelie are sly.”

His eyes narrow. “I’m not lying about never hurting you, y/n. That’s not something I’d skirt around. I. Won’t. Hurt. You.”

“You say that,” you start, glancing at the open doorway. It would be silly of you to believe that you’re truly alone. All of these men you’ve met so far eavesdrop on every conversation in their home. “You say that, but if Hongjoong or Seonghwa told you to hurt me you would do it. Even if you don’t want to.”

“They wouldn’t ask–“

“But you don’t know that for sure, do you? You believe it now, but tomorrow, they could change their mind about me. What if San didn’t like my presence around here anymore? What if Yunho told you my time was up? Would you defy their words and save me? Would you?”

He stares at his hands, saying nothing.

"What if I hurt one of you like I did to that Seelie? Would you just stand by?"

"Don't say idiotic things."

"Then stop lying to yourself, Wooyoung. You do not care for me like them and you never will. Stop trying to force yourself to like me because I'm different. I don't like you, okay? I don't. So stop prying, and stop making yourself believe that there is something here when there's not."

Wooyoung stands up, shaking his head, "How could you lie?"

"For fucks sake–"

Wooyoung steps closer to you, your body sinking further into the seat. He places his hands on either side of your shoulders, eyes darkening. "You lie so easily. Why? Why do you do it?" His fingers slowly tighten. It's not enough to bruise you or hurt you, but it feels uncomfortable. If seconds continue to pass, he could just as easily break a bone.

"Let me go."

"You think we are mad? You think I am mad for caring about you? Do you have any sense yourself?"

"Let go, Wooyoung. You'll bruise her if you continue."

You look over, Mingi leaning against the doorframe. His expression is still as always, though now it rests on Wooyoung's grip. He seems to push through his thoughts, hands gone from your body. You stand up and move farther away. Closer to the entrance of the balcony. Wooyoung stares down at his hands, body trembling.

"Sorry," his tone is tight, looking up. "I got carried away."

“Hongjoong told you to stay away.”

He glances away, “I know.”

“And yet here you stand.”

Wooyoung looks at him, “Mingi –”

“Go. Before you make this worse for yourself. I won’t ask again.”

Wooyoung’s shoulders fall. He turns to see your expression but you’ve already given him your back, leaving to stand on the porch. Whatever commotion is happening behind you you’d rather avoid. Your heart hurts too much. He isn’t lying, you care for him. And you hate that you do. They’re Unseelie, beings that took you from your home because of curiosity. How could you care for them? How could you miss Wooyoung? The cool breeze hits your cheek as you slide open the door, sitting on the small stool resting against the wall. The night is clearer now that he’s back. You hate even more how the solid rock of worry in your chest is subdued since you’ve seen him. He was so close to hurting you, barely seconds away.

So why the Hell do you want to tell him it’s okay?

“He lets his emotions get the best of him,” the deep voice of Mingi fills the silence. He leans against the doorway, staring out into the night. “That’s why Hongjoong told him to stay away for a while. Though I doubt it would help that much, his excitement to see you would have only grown.”

“He cares too much about someone he doesn’t know,” you say.

“That I agree with,” Mingi nods, humming. “But you should be saying the same to yourself.”

“I don’t.”

“Human, we are Unseelie. We’ve witnessed your kind lying for centuries. I can read that expression of yours with ease,” he glances down at you. “I’m not hovering around you to pass the time. Since Yunho cannot do it right now, I’m here to watch you. Just say my name and I’ll be here. Though it is my fault right now that I didn’t come when I heard about Wooyoung and Yeosang walking around.” He rubs his face, “What a headache.”

“Thanks,” you say, looking back at the landscape. The moon is hiding tonight. “He didn’t want to listen to me.”

“Because he’s delusional,” he snickers. “Not wrong entirely, but trying to force the answer from you is very… silly. You’re welcome.”

He says nothing else and neither do you. The fear of him being around has subdued, whether it be from him getting used to your presence or not, you’re grateful. Walking on your toes is exhausting enough as it is. From the first training session to now, the two of you have grown closer. Laughs exchanged, quieter moments. None uncomfortable. Enough so that you would consider him a friend, along with Jongho. Despite this, you can't help but let your thoughts wander. It's been so long since you've seen people you actually know. One in particular that you hate you cannot get out of your head. You already have things to deal with on your own.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” he starts, closing the door behind him. He rests on the chair adjacent to yours, sitting down slowly. Ah, so he plans on staying around for a while. “Letting that weight continue will only break you in the end.”

You shrug, “It’s nothing.”

“If it was nothing you wouldn’t look so uncomfortable right now. It’s fine, I’d rather not push,” MIngi says. “But I know from experience that keeping it to yourself is not good. I may not be as comforting as Yunho or Jongho, but I’m a good listener.”

Is he? His kindness doesn’t feel fake. Still, you’re wary of his motives. After a couple more minutes of saying nothing, you push past your fear.

"I don't want to hurt anymore," you stare at your hands, watching as they tremble beneath your gaze. "I'm so tired of hurting so much, I'm tired of caring so much. He left me. He promised he wouldn't and he did. He left me, Mingi. He…" Your fists curled into themselves. "And the more I think about it the more pathetic I sound. I've been through that moment over and over again, trying to figure out what I've done, what I didn't see. But I was faithful to him, I did everything for us. I wasn't selfish. I loved him with everything that I have. And he still left me alone. Just like everyone else does. And I can't even ask him why he did it because he just left. He's gone."

A slow breath drags from between your lips. "And here I am, talking to an Unseelie about it. You probably think I'm pathetic or –"

"You keep using that word," Mingi narrows his eyes, thinking. "Pathetic. Like it's pathetic to feel emotions strongly. You know that you're allowed to feel, right?" He leans over, covering your outstretched hands with his. He’s warm. "I can't calm down your heart or tell you it will be okay, because I am just an Unseelie. We don't give empty promises. But what I can say is that you're not pathetic. His absence hurts. And you're allowed to be hurt. But you are not pathetic, y/n. Do you understand?"

There is some hesitance. Slowly, he reaches out, hand hovering over your cheek. He places it, flattening it against your skin. You warily lean into his palm. "You are not pathetic, okay?"

Eyes closed, you nod. "... Okay."

"You don't believe your words," Mingi frowns.

"Saying it and believing it are two different things."

“I told you to not lie when I can tell,” he says sharply. There’s no malice in it, frustration perhaps. But not anger. He pulls his hand away from you, standing. “Get some sleep. We’ll start again tomorrow.”

He leaves you alone on the porch. You tuck your knees close, the breeze chilly against your skin. You don’t realize it yourself, but that brief moment with him turned things for you. For some very strange reason, your thoughts no longer rested on your ex. Instead, they lingered on them. On everything that's happened since you've arrived.

They lingered on Mingi.

—

Seonghwa still hasn’t taken you back into his lab. You sit in the living room on a loveseat, eyes glued to the rest of the Unseelie. Most are here except Yunho and Seonghwa, speaking to each other about various things. San and Yeosang entwined on the seat across from you. His arm wrapped around the waist of Yeosang, words soft and quick. Almost too intimate for you to look at longer than a couple of seconds. Jongho flipping through pages of another book he has, likely given to him by San. Mingi beside him, eating an apple as he stares at nothing.

And then there’s the last two.

The feeling is subtle, at first. Hongjoong and Wooyoung laugh together. Hands roaming along each other's arms, legs entangled as they show each other the potions they have created. Annoyed glances filled with fondness. It is something that you've lost since Soobin left. Affection, especially around others, was never something he quite enjoyed. Sure, holding hands or embracing for a moment. But never this – effortless care. Whether it be from embarrassment of townsfolk noticing the two of you, or uncomfort. But watching them as an outsider just makes the feeling rise, chest throbbing. Ah, now you understand the feeling.

Envy.

"Hold this," You jump. Mingi touches your own hand with his fingers, dragging yours open to place a gray stone on your palm. "It will help that heart of yours."

Your hand closes around it, brows furrowed. "Is there something wrong?"

"You tell me. I could hear it from across the room. Thumping away."

“Thanks.”

He merely nods.

“y/n,” Jongho calls from the other side of the room. Pauses in conversation stop for a moment as he walks over, book held out to you. You take it from his hands, glancing over the words. You quickly recognize it as the Giving Tree, a novel read to you when you were a child. Jongho looked furious as he stood above you, frown only deepening. “It can’t just be a stump at the end.”

“Isn't it devastating?” San says from his spot. “I knew it'd bother you.”

Jongho turns to look at San, a scowl crossing his lips. “I wanted an entertaining tale. You gave me a book about a selfish human child.”

San shrugs, “Maybe it would finally let you let me borrow some of your things –”

“Absolutely not,” Jongho sighs. “You see what he does? He's just a nuisance.”

“Well it's one of my favorite stories,” you say, flipping through the pages. “Unconditional love with a price; hoping that it's returned but it never really is.”

“A silly story,” Mingi murmurs, but he takes the book from your hand, humming as he walks away, Jongho following close behind him. You could hear his low voice grumbling something about his book being taken away. Your eyes look over to Yeosang and San. This time, San stares at you. There isn't exactly any anger in it now, but an emotion you can't pin. It's unlike anything you've ever seen from him.

“They always bicker,” Wooyoung says, glancing back. “Don't worry too much about it solaris, a little fight won't hurt them.”

Well you aren't exactly worried about it. You don't bother responding to him, sinking yourself deeper into the couch.

“y/n.”

His smooth voice speaks through the air. Avoiding his gaze would only cause his irritation to grow, so you look at him. He holds a knife in his hand, peeling off the skin of an apple. He looks at you as he does so, taking a small bite.

“You're allowed to go.”

Everyone in the room looks at Hongjoong. The expressions range from shocked to confused. Hongjoong ignores them entirely, taking another bite. “After Yeosang and Wooyoung completed their assignment, the threat was subdued. Of course, you could have left weeks ago. All of us just needed to be sure it was safe. We put a spell around your home. No Seelie would be able to enter. No faerie can visit you aside from us. I thought you'd like to know that you can leave at any time. We would need you from time to time, but now, there's no immediate threat. And even if there were, you'd be able to take care of it better now.”

Yeosang leans up from his spot, “Hyung–”

Hongjoong holds up his hand. “Any further discussion can be done privately. y/n, leave when you'd like. None of us will stop you. And if they try,” he looks at Wooyoung as he says his next words. “They will be dealt with.”

“This isn't a joke?” You ask, slowly standing from your spot. The thought of finally being in your own home, your own place – you didn't realize how much you've missed it until this very moment. Hongjoong nods, and you would hug him if he weren't Hongjoong. Instead, you leave the room promptly. They all watch you go, presumably to your room to grab your things.

Wooyoung shakes his head, “Hongjoong, our mission wasn't successful. We did nothing to deter the Seelies. They'll come for her when they see we're not around.”

“You think I don't know that?” Hongjoong frowns, chewing slowly. “Seonghwa hasn't made any progress and Yunho cannot do experiments right now. We have no use for her other than entertainment. And wouldn't you rather our home be free of humans? Or has she hooked herself so deeply into your body you can't live without?”

“I want her,” Wooyoung whispers. “Why would you send her away?”

“She doesn't love you,” Hongjoong snorts. “It'll be a pity if you continue to delude yourself.”

“A bit harsh, hyung,” Yeosang says, moving out of Sans embrace. “If you spoke to us prior he might have been able to prepare and take the news well. Instead–”

“You know my thoughts. She was never going to stay forever. You all know this.” He passes his half eaten apple to Wooyoung, stepping around him. “I must inform Seonghwa. Discuss amongst yourselves, but it is done. She will be gone.” He waves, tucking his hand in his pockets.

Yeosang wastes no time in moving close to his partner. He can see his body begin to crumble, irises trembling at the news. His arms wrap about his mates, whispering quiet words to him.

“She's leaving, Yeo,” Wooyoung grips his shirt.

“She's leaving me again.”

—

You shove your clothing into your bag, quickly trying to pack up enough. Hoping that Hongjoong doesn't change hid mind about this. All you've known for a few months now is this mansion, this home that is and never will be yours. Being free, cord snapped, feels so … exhilarating. Never have you felt so much enjoyment to go back to that silly little down and the old bookstore. Resting on your hard mattress – ecstacy.

The bitter feeling burns your throat. Leaving them behind after knowing them for a while. Your heart hurts, to say the least. Though you kept your eyes on Hongjoong’s face as he told you the news, it wasn't only to digest it. It was to keep yourself steady, keep your thoughts solid. If your gaze ever wavered, looked over at one of the others – you would have thought twice. And if you let these thoughts stay for a while longer, you would have stayed. And that realization is enough for you to run out of here without looking back. No goodbyes. No greetings. Nothing that would make your feelings pause.

No one is in the hallways as you walk through, bag tucked beneath your arm. You step outside, rain splattering against your cheeks. As if the forest is mourning your departure. You hold your jacket above your head as you walk down the path. The feelings are too much for you to try and decipher right now.

You were in a loving relationship that ended and Soobin disappeared, leaving just a note behind. Whatever feeling that's dwelling within you right now is not what you think. You're just heartbroken, and lonely. And they're here.

It's nothing more than that.

The rain spills over the sides of the jacket, splashing against your skin. You flinch as it enters your eyes, strands of your hair sticking to your face. Just a few more steps, a few more and you'll be out of here. You won't have to see them again. You'd be free of faeries. You'd finally let go of these strange feelings.

"Won't you let me take you home?" A shimmering cloud rises from the darkness. Wooyoung conjures up in front of you, arms crossed against his chest. You stop on the path, a sigh escaping your lips.

"The bus is fine."

"Waiting for it in the downpour? What if it's late?"

You maneuver around him, frowning, "Then I'll walk."

"You live ten kilometers from our home." His footsteps follow close behind you. "And it would be safer to be with us."

"I need to get in a workout, anyway."

“You can wait a while.”

“Wooyoung,” you step over a pile of rocks. “Hongjoong told me I can go. Stop trying to stop me from leaving. This is my choice.”

“I'm not trying to stop you, solaris. I know this is your decision. But I can't help but wonder. Is it because of that estranged boyfriend of yours?" He asks, appearing in front of you again. "Is that why you're hesitant to stay over longer? Worried you're committing adultery?"

"He left me," you say through your teeth. "He has no hold over me. And I wouldn't be committing adultery since we were never married."

"Then why are you afraid of your emotions?" He tilts his head, pouting. "You care and yet you run. Everyday you spend with us you pretend to not care for us. Is that just something humans do? Run from the emotions they feel?"

"I don't have time for this Wooyoung."

Wooyoung steps closer, your foot stumbling over the saturated grass. He catches you with ease, arm hooking around your torso, pulling you close to his chest. His face is barely a breath away from you. Just as you're about to tell him you're fine, his grip tightens.

"How long will we have to wait?" His tone is soft. "For your shame of loving Unseelies to fade away?"

"I don't –"

He hums, shaking his head, "Ah ah. Don't you remember? I can't lie." He leans forward, lips hovering just over yours. "I hope we can stop playing pretend one day, my pretty solaris. I hope you can see how easily we shine together. Because I am very much drowning in my affection for you and desperately clawing for a reprieve that only your confession can grant. It is a bit pathetic," He steadies you, face pulling away from yours. The warmth of your body consumes you from his touch. If he notices it he does not mention it. He bows.

"You better catch your bus or else I'll truly have to keep you to myself," his lip lifts, gesturing in front of you. He dissipates into the night, your hurried steps running out the forest and onto the bus. There are very few others on it as it drives off, your eyes flicking out the window. For a moment you think you see the shimmer of gold between the trees.

-

“I told her you would come for her. And now that she’s gone, we’re delayed on our experimentation.”

“I said I couldn’t do anything right now without Yunho,” Seonghwa explains simply, flipping through his pages. “I’ve told you this countlessly but you chose not to listen. And you decided to let her go, not I.”

“The humans were noticing her disappearance along with her old mate,” Hongjoong pauses. “It would have brought us great exhaustion if they continued questioning what happened. I had to let her go for now.”

“Then there’s that, are we done with this conversation?” Seonghwa glances up from his research, looking across to Hongjoong. He sits on the seat that you used to occupy whenever you entered the laboratory, fingers dragging along the armrest. Somehow the action annoyed him, brow furrowing. “Hongjoong?”

“We haven’t seen you join us for dinners.”

“I’ve been occupied.”

“Occupied enough to not show your face?” He tilts his head. “I’m sure she desired your presence as well, but you’ve hidden yourself in here. What could be the reason why?”

He’s prying. Seonghwa sees it, knows he’s itching for him to tell the truth. Having a back and forth with him is the last thing he wants right now, head throbbing at the thought. So he sighs, shaking his head. "My mind isn’t itself. I want her so desperately, it's making me unreasonable, makes me want to be by her side," Seonghwa grips the desk, thinking. "This is a new sensation for me."

"This is what happens when you've rejected every advance I've given you your whole life," Hongjoong sings, hanging on the edge of the seat. "And now all you want to do is feel her around your cock because you barely fuck anyone."

The familiar warmth coats his cheeks, looking away from Hongjoong. "How vulgar. No wonder the others don't speak to you about these things."

"Is it not true?" His brow raises. "I saw as you watched her hold the knife in her hand. Her soft, human fingers wrapped around it so tightly. The way she looked for help, her lips," Hongjoong sighs, falling back into the cushions. "If I were her partner, I'd never move close to faerie territory. Why risk someone so delectable? Because of a silly dream of yours? Quite stupid."

"You're too horny to think straight. And you're only enchanted with her because she does not fall for our usual ploys. And now even more since she isn't as human as we once thought."

“I am only interested in power, Seonghwa. And she is the epitome of that. And…” he scoffs, "Me? Horny?" In the typical Hongjoong fashion, he picks at only one portion of the conversation. "You're the one clenching the table in the middle of a woe is me moment. You can barely stand straight," Hongjoong's eyes flick to his slacks. "Better take care of that. And besides, she will enjoy us."

"Saying it does not make it true. Our hands are tainted. Hongjoong. Once she finds out that we have ruined her life with her partner, she will despise us. We are tainted. Do you not see it? All of your sweet nothings, soft words to her will not work. None of it will work. There not passes a day where she does not mention him."

"But she desires us, no?"

"She does," he admits. "But she yearns for him much more. I fear there will never come a day where she does not. It is like… it feels like she is one of us. Once we choose a mate, we will never move on from it."

"She's a human."

"As far as we know, yes. But Hongjoong–"

"That means there's a chance that we will change her mind," Hongjoong murmurs. "We can change her."

"Is it wise? Shouldn't we just… leave her?"

It's as if Hongjoong does not hear at all what Seonghwa is saying, brows scrunched in thought. He looks at his mate, swallowing. "We can change it Seonghwa. She will never move on from him unless he comes back and tells her he doesn’t want her,” Hongjoong murmurs, eyes flicking across the patterns in the rug. “And he was killed before we could force him to do it.”

“There’s no going back,” Seonghwa concures.

“I agree, there’s not. But we can do something so her mourning period ends quicker.”

“And that is?”

A strange look crosses his face. "I need Mingi."

His eyes widen slightly, “Hongjoong, we shouldn’t.” Just as Seonghwa raises his hand and begins to whisper, Hongjoong dissipates in an instant, leaving the eldest alone. Seonghwa lets go of the table, pacing back and forth. He can handle this. You're just a human, nothing more. He can handle this inane desire on his own. He can handle what Mingi is going to do. Even if his own thoughts seemingly cry out to run to you, to take you as his own. He can push past that. He grabs his research, flipping through.

Seonghwa stared at the book in his hands, his eyes wide with disbelief. He had read it over and over again, but he couldn't believe what he was seeing. There, in black and white, was the answer to the question that had been haunting him for months.

He had always known that you were different from other humans since the first moment he caught your eye. You had never been truly afraid of him, even when he had first revealed his true nature to you. You had never been seduced by his beauty or his power. You had always seen him for who he was, a faerie, and you had accepted him anyway.

But now he knew why you were different. You were immune because you were not a faerie nor human at all. He had never met another being like you before. He didn't know if there were others like you out there. He didn't know if you were the only one. He didn't even know that these creatures existed. He assumed it was just folklore.

He ripped out the page, pinning it to his board. The word stands out, bold and underlined.

[theostrophywife]

Could you please do a soft fluffy az/reader where they spend a rainy day in bed reading together? Maybe they're newly mated ?

Ty and I Love your work 🥹

rain clouds.

as strange as it seems, she's endless to me she's just like paperwork, but harder to read she knows me so well, she knows me like i know myself

author's note: as it happens, it's currently raining where i'm at which makes for perfect reading weather so this request is spot on. i'm honestly so soft for this concept and i also threw in a little bit of cheeky az in there.

song inspiration: she by ed sheeran.

Rainy days in Velaris were your absolute favorite.

As the storm rolled in, you watched as droplets of rain pelted the glass windowpane of your bedroom and covered the city of starlight in a soft, cloudy haze.

While High Fae and faeries alike took shelter from the torrential wind and weather, you and your mate took the opportunity to participate in one of your favorite past times—reading in bed.

It had been Azriel's idea to assemble a makeshift nest, gathering pillows and blankets to make your reading nook as cozy as possible. As the two of you cocooned yourselves in bed, the faelights that you'd twined through the headboard twinkled, creating the perfect ambience for a day of leisurely reading.

At present, Azriel was leaning against the cushions, his wings relaxed and draped over his back as he cracked open yet another mystery book. Your mate held the tome in one hand while stroking your hair in the other. You sprawled out across his lap with your nose buried in Sellyn Drake's latest release, which Nesta had kindly let you borrow from her impressive collection.

The steady pitter patter of the rain outside mixed with the shadowsinger's soft breathing filled the room, providing soothing background noise as you delved into the steamy romance novel. Every once in a while, Azriel would lean over to kiss your forehead, nose, or cheek just because he could. The fond gesture melted your heart.

It had only been a couple of months since you both accepted the mating bond, so you were still adjusting to the fact that this beautiful male was yours and yours alone. You smiled up at him, nestling further into his lap while cheekily slipping your fingers underneath his cream cable knit sweater. Azriel felt warm and solid beneath your touch as you traced patterns upon his golden brown skin. The pads of your fingers brushed over every mole, scar, and freckle with a sort of reverence as you committed the feel of your mate to memory.

The shadowsinger sighed in satisfaction. You grinned up at him as his fingers stilled against your scalp. He paused his reading and mirrored the gesture, ensnaring you with the warmth and joy radiating from him. The weather might be dark and gloomy outdoors, but in here, within the private walls of your bedchambers, you had your own little pocket of sunshine in the form of your mate’s smile.

You intertwined your hand in his and brought his scarred fingers up to your lips, kissing each knuckle as your mate blushed. He pressed a kiss to your temple as you returned to your reading. You spent the rest of the day like that, tangled up in one another, lost to your own stories but still anchored by each other’s presence.

The storm continued outside and the only conversation exchanged between you came in the form of Azriel’s occasional gasp which told you when he’d come across a twist in his novel. You chuckled softly until your own book beckoned your attention.

Thank the Cauldron for Nesta and her impeccable taste. The smut in the book had you blushing and curling your toes, but that was to be expected from your friend’s recommendations. A particularly steamy scene involving a headboard and a few creative positions sent a rush of heat to your cheeks. The shift did not go unnoticed by your mate.

Azriel’s voice was low and husky, it’s usual cool timbre scratchy from disuse. “Come across something interesting, my love?”

You nodded slowly. “The plot thickens.”

Your mate raised an amused brow. “I’m sure.”

The mischief in his tone didn’t register as your eyes stayed glued onto the page, eating up every filthy detail with fervor. You hadn’t even noticed Azriel setting his book down until he was gathering you up in his arms. He pulled you into his lap and nuzzled you from behind, his chin resting on the crook of your shoulder.

“Hi,” he breathed.

You chuckled, kissing his cheek. “Hi, baby.”

“What are you reading?”

Blushing fiercely and suddenly conscious of the absolute eroticism that you were devouring without blinking, you attempted to wriggle out of your mate’s lap. “Nothing.”

Azriel caught you by the waist. “I doubt that nothing would illicit such a response,” he teased. “You’re beet red, my love. What’s got my mate so riled up, hmm?”

“The romance is just really well written, that’s all.”

“Oh?” Your mate tossed your hair to the side as you inhaled sharply. His lips ghosted over the column of your throat. "I can't say I've had the pleasure of being aroused by literature as much as you are right now."

Azriel was being an absolute tease as he toyed with the straps of your silk nightgown. You hadn’t bothered changing into your normal clothes seeing as how you’d spent the entire day in bed. A choice you’d come to thank yourself for as your mate's hands wandered over the thin material, the brush of his rough, calloused fingers making every fiber of your being come alive. He eased the strap down over your shoulder and grazed your soft skin with wet, open mouthed kisses.

“Tell me about it, angel.”

Your eyes fluttered close as Azriel sucked gently on your collar bone. “I’m sure your book is much more interesting.”

“I beg to differ,” your mate said, smirking into your skin. “My novel doesn’t seem nearly as thrilling as you find yours to be. Naughty girl, am I correct in assuming that you’re reading smut?”

“Maybe,” you coyly replied. “What would you say if I was?”

You squealed as Azriel flipped you over, pinning you underneath him. With his body pressed flush against yours, arousal rippled through the bond from both ends. He pried the book from your hands and carefully set it on your bedside table.

“I’d say, why on earth are you reading smut when you could be acting it out with me instead?”

Gods. You were practically dripping. Reduced to nothing but a puddle of heat and arousal in Azriel’s hands.

The purely predatory look on your mate’s face sent a shiver down your spine. “I think you’ve got it all wrong, Az. You’re the naughty one, not me.”

Azriel pinned your wrists above your head and looked at you like you were a spread of his favorite dishes. His wings flared behind his back and you got the sense that you were really in for it now. “You have no idea, my love. But don’t worry, I’m about to show you.”

[rabid-reads]

My August Reads Ranked

1. One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig: This was by far my favorite read this month. I love this book. I love it more than I love The Folk of the Air. More than the Dark Rise series. More than Captive Prince. Because it has EVERYTHING. The plot, the magic system, the characters, the writing, all of it is as equally good as the rest. Even though at the ending there’s a twist that’s sad, I was still EXCITED to see what happens next (more hype than sad). I root for the Nightmare too. “Long live the King.” The writing is show don’t tell and I fucking LOVE IT. I FUCKING LOVE IT. I am so tired of seeing a lot of telling in story books, and all my favs serve show.

2. Bunny by Mona Awad: This wasn’t as dark as I thought it was going to be, but it won me over with the writing. It’s clever, dark and hilarious. Samantha’s dilemma with the bunnies was relatable for me, especially the first smut salon she attends. It was a fun ride, and I enjoyed this book for reasons I wasn’t expecting to. The way Awad describes feelings is spectacular.

3. The Prisoner’s Throne by Holly Black: It was good to be back in Elfhame. I liked Prisoner’s Throne more than Stolen Heir because, of course, Jude and Cardan. I thought Wren and Oak’s story was cute and I had a fun time reading it, but I’m not over Jude and Cardan yet and that’s all I want.

4. The Stolen Heir by Holly Black: At first, I was a bit put off by how Jude-like Wren was, and how Cardan-like Oak was, but I had a good time. If Black wants to go back and write scenes showcasing Jude and Cardan falling in love, I’m all for that. Would love to see the two of them snuggling by a fire.

5. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King: I knew I’d like this because every time I watch King speak, he’s fun. He’s fun to listen to, he’s fun to read. He’s at his best when he’s shooting the shit. This was a good time.

6. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde: I love the dialogue in this, it can be interpreted in different ways and it’s exciting to think about. I’ve never read anything as quotable as this book. I lived for every time Dorian threw himself on a couch in a fit of angst.

7. The Corsair’s Captive by Ruby Dixon: Dixon never lets me down. It’s another cozy, fun sci-fi romance with the big blue dudes. I have to read her shifter smut; it’s going to be everything.  

8. The Science of Storytelling by Will Storr: I appreciated how blunt this book was, and the information provided was interesting. If you’re looking for a book about why humans tell stories as well as scientific reasons why you should have an existential crisis. This is the one.

9. Victor by Brianna West: The most egregious offense to me was the smut. Because. How are you screwing an Angel, and it’s vanilla? No mention of where his wings are? Nothing special about his equipment? Only fucks in missionary? They could fuck in the air, but we’re going to sidestep that? Other than that the world-building wasn’t there for me, and the writing was a whole lot of telling. The adverb intense descriptions didn’t land for me, and I didn’t care about any of the characters. The fmc was annoying.

10. Haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton: Zade is so Neil Breen coded. Like, if I found out Breen wrote this character for Carlton, it would make a lot of sense. I hate this book. I don’t know why I do this to myself.  

The books I'm most stoked to read in September are: Monstrilio by Gerardo Samano Cordova, Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett and Two Twisted Crowns by Rachel Gillig.

[highlordofkrypton]

Wildflowers, a canon-adjacent ACOTAR prequel from Tamlin's point of view

Time to do a little self-promotion, GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM AND TOOT MY OWN HORN. I'm so proud of this fic, and I'm going to take this moment to just celebrate it. (It's the first story/fanfiction I ever wrote start to finish, and without the support of a writing partner!!! A big milestone for me!!)

You don't need to be pro Tamlin to enjoy this fic, but you will be pro Tamlin by the end of it 👌

I've got a handful of followers in the recent days from my meme-ing, but I'd also like to share some of my writing along with some of the silliness I post.

READ ON AO3

SUMMARY: Five hundred years before Feyre’s arrival in Prythian, the humans fought against Faeries, led by the King of Hybern, for their Freedom. Tamlin is only seven years old when the war begins, but his family’s involvement and a fated friendship with a handsome young Lord from the Night Court will change his life forever. This is the story of how he becomes the High Lord you know and love.

TL;DR - before they were enemies, they touched butts.

This fic is complete!

WHAT YOU WILL GET IN THIS FIC:

Filled in the blanks worldbuilding (A MAGICAL FAERIE WORLD)

BABY TAMLIN!!! HE'S A STAR!! A TEENY WEENY EEPY STAR!

Awesome side characters -- Tamlin's brothers, Rhysand's family, the LADIES OF PRYTHIAN! (Trust me, you will have a favourite by the end of it.)

Who is Andras? He's a sweet spring child, let me tell you

BUTT TOUCHING!! If you're here for smut, there are many positions (but you can also skip those chapters too!

ANGST

SIDE STORIES??? YES YES YES

LOOK HOW PRETTY! 😭😭😭

If you made it this far, I gotta share something with you. I'm so grateful to all my Wildflowers (thats u, readers) that I wanted to give something back to the community.

One of those copies will be up for giveaway within the coming weeks. So, check out the fic, see if you like it and for more information on the giveaway, you can follow this blog or my instagram where the giveaway will be held: @aliteratebrunch

Credits

Tamlin art by @snaxk

Wildflowers bind by needleandbind on Tiktok

[hellohannie]

Enchantress of the Forest (m) | ljh

“𝙅𝙞𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙣, 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚?”

after struggling to fall asleep one night, jihoon decides to try his luck at the campsite set up deeper in the forest, away from his drunk members filming content for "seventeen in the soop". what he didn't expect was to run into you. mysterious, enchanting, you. part of the enchantress of the forest series. read part two here!

♡ PLAYERS - lee jihoon x f.reader

♡ WORD COUNT - 7.0K

♡ TAGS - fantasy au, faerie!reader, fluff, minor angst, smut (MDNI): implied virgin!reader, unprotected sex

♡ NOTES - hi again :) so, this is not part of my taylor swift x seventeen collection, but i just couldn't get myself to sit and write for those stories. i was rewatching ITS season 1 and then inspiration struck so... i ended up writing this instead!

it's also my first time writing smut, so i apologize if it's not very good

also, i'm thinking about starting a permanent taglist, so if anyone wants to be on it, please drop a request in the ask box! thank you! I hope you enjoy!

It amazed Jihoon every time how loud his members could be, despite the size of the space they were in. It’s one thing to be able to hear Mingyu and Seungcheol bickering in the kitchen from his bedroom in their apartment, but how is it that he can hear Soonyoung screaming from the dining hall while he’s in the upper house? That’s a whole separate building. Not to mention they are in a literal forest, with so much vast space, yet that man’s voice still carries. Every door and window in the upper house was closed, for God’s sake. Jihoon even has on Hansol’s headphones with a pillow mashed to them, and he still can’t fall asleep. It’s just too loud. 

Listen, Jihoon understands, ok? Karaoke, drunk karaoke at that, is meant to be loud and obnoxious. But, he’s been working as an unofficial workout trainer all day to his members who were worried they’d let their diets go too much on this trip. They only had two more days in the soop, and Jihoon wanted nothing more than to add as much sleep to his reservoir as he could since he knew it would be time to grind out in his studio the minute they returned to Seoul.

Jihoon kicked the blankets off his body with a loud groan before swinging his legs to the ground. 

“Jihoonie,” Jeonghan cooed from the other side of the bed. “Can’t sleep?”

Jihoon shot his elder brother with a dry look. “What does it look like?”

“Oof, no need to be so snarky,” Jeonghan teased, turning his phone screen off and placing the device on his chest. “Where are you going?”

Jihoon roughly tugged on a hoodie, uncaring of how his hair was sticking up in clumps. “I’m gonna shove that microphone down Soonyoung’s throat,” he griped. 

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Jeonghan was sitting up by this point and digging around in the closet. “Here,” he chucked a duffel bag at Jihoon, who caught it with a grunt. “Take this and go down to the campsite by the stream. Joshua and I slept down there last night when the very intense foot volleyball match was happening. Very peaceful. No screaming K-idols. Highly recommend.”   

Jihoon shot him a grossed out look. “You really expect me to believe you two snuck away to a secluded tent for peace and quiet to sleep?” The blush creeping up the blonde’s ears was enough of an answer for Jihoon. “Yeah, thanks, but no thanks.” He dropped the duffel bag with a thud. 

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous Ji,” Jeonghan scolded, arms crossed over his chest, half in embarrassment and half in annoyance. “We brought the soiled sleeping bag home. The one left behind is clean. That duffel bag has all the essentials: water, snacks, extra clothes. Everything you need for a good night’s sleep. Go, light a fire, enjoy nature. Maybe you’ll find some inspiration for our next album.” The wink he sent Jihoon seemed a bit suspicious, as if he knew something more than he was letting on. 

Too exhausted to question him any further, Jihoon picked the duffel bag up off the floor and headed out the door. 

The trek to the campsite was silent, and Jihoon was thankful. He couldn’t remember the last time he could hear himself just breathe. When he was in Seoul he was either rehearsing with the members or in his studio. When he was in his studio, he was always making music or listening to guides. Come to think of it, Jihoon rarely slept without noise. So what was he thinking wandering off into the forest in search of sleep? Maybe he should’ve put up with Sooonyoung’s drunk crooning. 

Suddenly, the smell of burning wood and the sound of crackling fire overtook his senses. Is someone else here? Jihoon thought. It couldn’t be any of the members. They were all drinking or asleep. He started walking quicker, the campsite more visible the closer he got to it. There was definitely a bonfire lit by the tent, and Jihoon was pretty sure he could see the silhouette of a person sitting on the log near it, their back facing him with waist length hair that shimmered like glitter. Definitely not a member. 

“Excuse me?” Jihoon called out, now merely feet from the campsite. The unknown woman turned to look over her shoulder and Jihoon felt his breath catch in his throat. Whoever this girl was, she was glowing, literally. Like a star, she had pure white light surrounding her body. 

Big, doe eyes blinked at him. “Hello.” You only said one word, but your silvery voice left Jihoon in awe. There was silence for a few minutes before you cocked your head questioningly. “You are?”

Jihoon snapped out of his reverie, clearing his throat as he looked away, willing his face not to flush with color. “I’m Ji-” he stopped, appalled. He almost gave his identity away to a total stranger. You could be a sasaeng for all he knows and here he was ready to spew out his social security number if you asked, all because he thought you were beautiful. “I’m the owner of this camp,” he said, firmly, “and you are?”

“Liar,” you stood up, the white, satin dress adorning your body swishing delicately around your calves as you walked towards Jihoon. “The owners are the two men who were here the night before. You,” you came to a still directly in front of Jihoon, “are not either of them.”

Jihoon sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Those were my friends, we share this area. That doesn’t matter though because you obviously don’t own this area-”

“False,” you cut in, and Jihoon would’ve been irritated if he didn’t find your melodious voice so soothing. “While I may not own these objects,” you gracefully extended an arm towards the camp set-up, “this land does in fact belong to me.”

Jihoon raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You own the forest?”

“This part of it, yes,” you said, candidly. 

“What? Do you work for the Korea Forest Service or something?” Jihoon laughed, disbelievingly. You simply gave him a confused look. Jihoon huffed, walking towards the tent so he could toss the duffel bag inside. “Listen, you can stop with the games now. I know you were probably hired by Jeonghan and Joshua to prank me or something so let’s just say you got me, ok? Ha ha, that was so funny, I totally fell for it, you can go home now.”

“I’m not quite sure who Jeonghan and Joshua are, but I can assure you this is not a joke. This part of the forest belongs to me,” you called out, eyes following Jihoon as he messed around at the entrance of the tent. 

“God, why do you have to be so stubborn? Are you seriously not gonna leave until you’re done playing the part? Fine,” Jihoon turned to face you again, faking a surprised look. “Oh, you’re a government official? Please don’t arrest me.” He held his hands up by his head to really sell it.

You did not understand the joke. Instead, you simply straightened your posture and clasped your hands in front of you. “I am not a government official. I am Y/N, a forest nymph.”

There was a pause before Jihoon burst into laughter. He bent forward, clutching his stomach as he laughed and laughed, all while you stood there, watching him blankly. 

“You do not believe me.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Wow,” Jihoon flicked a tear from his eye. “I don’t know if the hyungs told you to say that or if it was improv. Either way, bravo, you really got me there.” He started to walk towards you. “A forest nymph, now the all white outfit makes sense. How did they get this glow around you, do you have some sort of glow in the dark paint on?” Jihoon reached out as if to touch your forearm. 

You stepped back, your right arm shooting out to your side, two fingers flicking upwards as if directing something towards Jihoon. At that very moment, a dark green vine shot up from the ground and wrapped around his wrist, preventing Jihoon’s hand from touching you. 

“What the hell?” he exclaimed, eyes wide in incredulity as he stared at the vines coiling around his arms and legs. Then he moved his glare to you. “What is going on?”

You brought your hands together in front of your body once more. “As I said, I am a forest nymph. You have not only trespassed on my land, but have also tried to touch me without my consent. In the land of Faerie, this offense is punishable by dismemberment of your arms and legs.” Jihoon began to trash, trying to break free of his binds. “But,” you proclaimed, louder this time. “As you are human, and seem to be unaware of my kind, I shall let you free. However, if you commit another offense towards me, I will not let you go so easily.”

You willed the vines to loosen from Jihoon’s body as he apologized to you. “I’m sorry, I had no idea you were telling the truth. I thought this was all part of a prank my members orchestrated. I didn’t mean to offend you, I mean it,” he rambled, clearly still shaken by what had just transpired. 

“You are forgiven. I believe you, so do not fret Human,” you strode towards the logs arranged by the fire, dress fluttering around your ankles as you sat. You gestured to the log next to yours, “Please, sit.”

Jihoon sat, noticing the fire was starting to go down. He looked around for extra firewood, but couldn’t find any. He went to stand up, “Let me go find some more wood for the fire.”

“No need,” you held your hand out to the fire, palm facing up. Jihoon watched the fire grow as you curled your fingers into your hand, mesmerized. You noticed and giggled, your tinkling laughter drawing Jihoon’s attention to your eyes. “You behave as if you've never seen magic before.”

“I haven’t,” Jihoon responded. “I didn’t even know faeries were real. I live in Seoul, so unless there are city nymphs…”

You giggled again and shook your head. “There is no such thing as city nymphs. We faeries prefer to stay in our own land, which is in a dimension separate from the human world. Every once in a while, nymphs, such as myself, like to come to the human world to tend to your nature. Forest nymphs care for the trees, flora nymphs help flowers bloom in the spring, water nymphs keep the freshwater running. Of course, there are many other nymphs, but it would take me much too long to explain, and you would likely be bored after hearing me speak for so long.”

Jihoon, who had been entranced by your voice, shouted, “No!” You jumped, startled by the volume of his voice. “I mean, no, I could never get bored listening to you speak. Please, keep going.” A hand shot up to his mouth as Jihoon blushed. He couldn’t believe he’d said all of that. It was like the words just flowed out of his mouth before he could stop them. 

You smiled, adored by this man beside you. “It’s a symptom of being exposed to Faerie magic, the candor. Now that my magic has touched you, you’ll find it a bit difficult to lie to me. It will wear off by morning, so do not worry Sweet Human.”

“It’s Jihoon.” You tilted your head and raised your eyebrows in question. “My name. It’s Jihoon. You can call me Jihoon instead of human.”

“Ah,” you nodded in understanding. “Alright then, Sweet Jihoon.” You gave him a blinding smile. 

Jihoon was unsure whether you were flirting with him, or if it was simply faerie practice to use adjectives before people’s names, but either way, he was sure his cheeks were going to stay pink as long as he was around you. He wondered how Jeonghan and Joshua reacted to you. Suddenly, Jihoon felt his chest begin to tighten. The thought of you speaking, possibly flirting, with his brothers made Jihoon feel…jealous? The realization caught him off guard. He barely knew you, yet here he was, getting jealous at the thought of you interacting with someone that wasn’t him. 

Stop it, Ji, he thought to himself, stop thinking like an incel and get over yourself. 

Jihoon cleared his throat, catching your attention as you turned your face away from the night sky, from the stars you were gazing at. You had a pleasant smile on your face, and for the first time that night, Jihoon noticed you had dimples, as if you were kissed delicately on either cheek by an angel. He felt the sudden urge to do the same. 

“You mentioned the two guys from yesterday, Jeonghan and Joshua. Did you…did you speak to them?” 

Your eyes turned soft and your face filled with longing as you responded, “No. They were surrounded by an aura of love so strong I do not believe they would’ve noticed anyone else around them. I, too, did not have the heart to bother them, so I let them stay.” Jihoon nodded. That sounded like his hyungs, too wrapped up in each other to pay attention to much else. It left Jihoon and the others feeling a bit envious of them and their relationship. 

“Jihoon, have you ever been in love?” 

Jihoon choked on his saliva, surprised by your sudden question. “C-Come again?”

“Have you ever been in love?” 

Your eyes glittered as you looked at him, wide and curious. Jihoon stared back, thinking about your question. “I’ve dated a few girls, I guess, but I wouldn’t say any of it was love. But…” But I might be in love with you, he thought.

You leaned in a bit, “But?” 

You smelled clean, like the morning dew after a night of rain. Jihoon wanted it bottled into a perfume so he could smell it wherever he went. 

“But,” his eyes flicked down to your lips, plush and pink with a perfect cupid’s bow and a slight dent in the middle of your bottom lip. He gulped, and forced himself to pull away, turning his gaze towards the fire. “But maybe someday…” he trailed off.   

He could see you straighten as well from his periphery. A chance glance in your direction told him that you looked slightly disappointed, but he didn’t believe it. Why would you be disappointed by his answer? Why would you care if he was in love?

“What about you? Do faeries fall in love?” Jihoon asked, though he immediately regretted it when you left out a disappointed laugh. The light surrounding you dimmed as a physical indicator of your emotions.

“Faeries mate for life. We believe that Mother Nature has selected a partner for each of us, and we are destined to be together for as long as we live. I suppose humans would call them soulmates.” Your head was bent down, a curtain of shimmering hair hiding your face from Jihoon’s view. You picked at the flower bracelets around your wrists as you spoke. “Everyone in my cohort has met and bonded with their mates. I have not. They all believe the person fated for me does not exist, and I believe the same.” You sniffled, and the sound shattered Jihoon’s heart. 

“Y/N,” he said, in an effort to comfort you. 

“It’s alright, Jihoon,” you looked up at him with a smile despite the tears that brimmed your eyes. “I have nature, I have my forest. I have the trees and the birds and the insects and the deer. I do not need a faerie mate to be happy. I am alright, will be alright, without one.”

“Or maybe your fated mate isn’t a faerie,” Jihoon mumbled under his breath, hoping you hadn’t heard.  

The slight shock on your face said otherwise. “What did you say?”

Jihoon turned to face you completely, looking you in the eyes. “Maybe you aren’t meant to be with a faerie. Look, I don’t know how faerie rules work when it comes to interracial, or I guess inter-species, relationships, but I know this pull I feel towards you isn’t something to be taken lightly. Ever since I saw you, I’ve felt this thrumming in my heart that I’ve never felt before, like it’s calling out to you. I want to hold you and touch you and kiss you. I want to stay up all night and keep talking with you because I’m afraid. Afraid that you won’t be there in the morning. Or worse. That I’ll wake up in the room at the upper house and find out I dreamt the whole thing. I-” Jihoon broke off with a smile, a small laugh escaping his lips when he saw the astonished look on your face. He reached a hand out, as if to touch your face, before dropping it back down to his lap. “You asked me if I’d ever been in love. I think I might be right now. I think I might be in love with you.”

The air around you was charged and silent. Even the plants and fauna were still, as if awaiting your answer with a bated breath. After about ten seconds had passed, Jihoon was a bit anxious. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. Maybe this was all too much for you, finding out that a mere human was in love with you. What was he thinking, proclaiming his love to a faerie. You’re a whole otherworldly being, way out of his league! What if you were disgusted? Oh God, what if you decided to take him to Faerieland so he could be punished? What if-

Cool, soft hands cupped his cheeks, pulling him from his thoughts. All he got was a glimpse of glimmering eyes before he felt soft lips being pressed into his. He froze. You were kissing him. You were really kissing him. Your lips, soft as rose petals, were on his own. Until they weren’t.

You had pulled away, unsure of your actions considering Jihoon wasn’t kissing you back. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, hands still on his face. “Was I not supposed to do that?”

Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh, his right hand coming up to cup your cheek while the other tucked a lock of silky hair behind your ear. “It was perfect. Can we kiss again?”

You nodded, shyly, letting Jihoon pull you into another kiss. This time, he kissed back, the pressure giving you the courage to move your lips against his own. You gasped when Jihoon’s arms circled your waist, pulling you plush against his chest. You moved your hands to rest on his broad shoulders, your fingers playing with the tips of his hair that curled on the nape of his neck. Jihoon kissed you for what felt like hours before he pulled away, chest heaving as he took big breaths. 

“How are you not out of breath?” Jihoon asked in bewilderment. 

You simply shrugged, tracing his bottom lip with your thumb, awed by how those lips had made you feel more pleasure in a few minutes than you had in your entire lifetime. “I suppose it’s another faerie skill.”

You squealed in delight when Jihoon picked you up and twirled you around. “You are mind blowing, you know that?” He kissed your forehead after setting you down on your feet. “Amazing. Fuck, I think I really love you.” 

You took a hold of Jihoon’s wrist, bringing his palm to your chest, above your heart. Then, you placed your own hand on his. You closed your eyes, concentrating on the beat of his heart. Jihoon watched you silently, his eyes flitting over your face as he committed your features to memory. The brush of your eyelashes against your cheekbones, the gentle slope of your nose, the freckles that dotted your skin. After a few seconds, your eyes shot open, a big grin on your face. 

“Do you feel that?” you asked, in excitement.

“Your heartbeat?” 

You nodded quickly, “Yes! It matches your own.”

Jihoon focused on your hand on his chest, trying to feel his own pulse as it tapped a rhythm against your palm. Each heart beat of his was identical to yours. As your heart picked up speed the more excited you got, his did the same. 

“That’s so cool! What does that mean?” he was smiling widely, your elation contagious.

“It’s how we identify when two people belong to one another in Faerie. Their hearts beat as one. Jihoon,” you were bouncing on your feet now. “We are fated.”

Jihoon could do nothing but dive in to kiss you again. You were laughing as you kissed him, unable to hold back your glee. “I love you,” Jihoon mumbled against your lips. “I love you, I love you.”

“I love you,” you responded, with equal fervor. Faeries did not tell each other of their love. They found no use for words when their hearts proved it. Still, you told Jihoon you loved him in hopes that it would make him as happy to hear it as it did you. 

“Jihoon, my sweet Jihoon,” you looked dazed, as if drunk on the kisses you shared. “Will you show me how much you love me?”

Jihoon, enraptured by the sound of my Jihoon, responded, “Of course, my love, I’ve been showing you all this time.” He bent to rest his head in the crook of your neck, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on your back as he placed a kiss on your collarbone, exposed by the neckline of your dress. 

“No,” you whispered, breath tickling the shell of Jihoon’s ear as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. “I want you to show me the way the men from last night showed each other. Your friends. As the night went on, the aura around them grew stronger. I want to be loved like that, however they loved each other.”

Jihoon’s body stiffened, before he groaned into your neck. “Fuck, you can’t just say things like that Faerie.”

You pushed Jihoon’s body up so you could look at him. “Why not? What did I say wrong?” You held his hands in yours. 

“Nothing, it’s just- well they-” Jihoon stumbled over his words, a bit embarrassed now that he has to have the birds and the bees talk with you. Unsure of how to broach the topic he decided to go right for it. “Do you know what intercourse is?” Jihoon’s face was flushed bright red, his hands turning clammy in your grip.

“Of course,” you affirmed with a nod. 

“Well,” Jihoon gave you a look. 

You stared for a second before recognition lit in your eyes. You smiled. “Oh!” Your smile dropped. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jihoon said, dumbly. 

“But, I do not understand. Were your friends trying to have a child?” 

Jihoon spluttered. “What?? No! Of course not!”

“Then why be intimate?” You asked him, innocently. Jihoon sighed. The cultural differences surrounding intimacy must be far more different than he anticipated. 

“Here,” he tugged at your intertwined hands. The fire has almost completely died by now. “Let’s sit in the tent where it’s warmer and I’ll explain.”

Jihoon ushered you inside, zipping the tent closed before sitting down on the blankets opposite you. “What’s the traditional practice in Faerie, if you want to…procreate,” he cringed internally at his odd word choice.

You did not seem thrown off, however. “After faeries find their mates, they have a ceremony, similar to a human wedding ceremony. The faeries will combine their auras, which allows them to share their powers and essentially become one unified entity. Then, there will be a mating ritual, in which they are intimate. Their auras are most powerful immediately after the ceremony, so that one night is enough to create a child. Faeries do not have more than one.” You explained, methodically. 

Jihoon nodded. “Ok, so Faeries aren’t intimate for pleasure?”

You shook your head, “I suppose not. Humans are, I presume?”

“Yes. Many humans see intercourse as a means of seeking pleasure first, and reproduction second. There are medical advancements that can prevent pregnancy, so humans can be intimate without worrying about children. The guys from last night…They are intimate because they love each other. Make sense?” Jihoon searched your face for a hint of confusion.

“I understand!” you chirped. “Are you someone who correlates intimacy to love, Jihoon?”

At this point Jihoon has no choice but to assume that you say things to make him blush on purpose. “I mean, yeah, I- I guess so,” he stuttered, a complete opposite to your eloquent way of speech. 

“Then, I would like you to be intimate with me.”

His breath hitched. “My love,” Jihoon started, hesitantly. “Are you sure? There’s no rush, we can take things slowly-”

You moved closer to him, your knees pressed against his. “Sweet Jihoon,” you held his hands, stroking the backs of them with your thumbs. “I am unsure what will become of us tomorrow. I must return to Faerie in the morning, and you live in the city, so you will eventually leave as well. I do not want to wait in hopes of a day that may not come soon, if at all. I do not wish to dampen the mood, but it is the harsh truth. That is why I want to do this now. I want to love you completely. Tonight.”

Your eyes were blazing, the grip on his hands firm. You meant what you said. You would not let Jihoon go tonight, not like this. 

“You have to know, I’d do anything for you Y/N. I’d leave Seoul, hell, I’d leave this dimension for you. I’d go to Faerie, go wherever you want,” Jihoon rambled. 

You pressed a finger to his lips. “Hush. We can talk about it all later. Right now,” you leaned in, bumping the tip of his nose with your own, “I want you to…fuck me.”

Your yelp of surprise was swallowed by Jihoon when he surged forward to kiss you. The force pushed you back and you were laying flat on the blankets, Jihoon hovering over your body, his hands braced by your shoulders. You pushed him up with a press to his chest, unable to hold back giggles. 

“What was that for?”

“Where did you learn to say that, you little minx?” Jihoon moved to press butterfly soft kisses to the slope of your neck, moving up towards your ear. 

“I heard,” you gasped at a particularly biting kiss, “I heard the blonde man from yesterday tell his partner that. He seemed to like hearing it.” Your hands were now clasped against your chest as you were unsure what to do with them. 

Jihoon teasingly bit your earlobe. “Ah, didn’t know my innocent forest nymph was actually a voyeur.”

“Jihoon,” you slapped at his shoulder, scandalized. Jihoon pulled away, sitting back on his heels as he laughed. “It was not as if I meant to intrude! I did not know about human customs of love.” There was a slight pout on your lips, as you turned your head to the side, pointedly looking away from Jihoon in embarrassment. 

He couldn’t help but place a kiss on your reddening cheek. “Cute,” he mumbled. “I’m just teasing, Faerie.” He held your chin with two of his fingers and turned you back to face him. “I think you’re cute,” his voice dropped a few pitches, seductively. “Bet you sat up in those trees, listening, wishing it was you that they were touching, hm?” Jihoon ran his fingers up your right leg, tickling your calves. You whimpered. “My poor Faerie felt so lonely. Thought she’d never find someone. But I’m here now,” he pressed a kiss in the dip between your collarbones, “I’ll take care of you baby.”

By now, your dress was rucked up by your knees, Jihoon’s hand splayed out against your thigh. Your hands were tangled in his curls, the grip allowing you to tug him back to your lips. “Jihoon, please,” you whined. 

Jihoon held you by your shoulders as he pulled you up to sit on his lap, your legs wrapping around his hips. “Can I take your dress off?” he asked as he toyed with the straps of your dress. You nodded, demurely. Jihoon slipped the cloth off your right shoulder, pressing a kiss to your skin before doing the same on the other side. Like water, the dress slid down your chest, bunching at your waist when the straps caught on your forearms. You pointedly kept your eyes trained on the neckline of Jihoon’s shirt, feeling a bit too self-conscious to look him in the eyes. Jihoon must’ve understood this. 

“Breathtaking,” he said, trailing a finger along your face, down the side of your neck. “You’re absolutely breathtaking, my love.” His finger dipped into the valley of your breasts before twirling around your left nipple. You whimpered, the sound morphing into a moan when he took the other nipple into his mouth. Your body felt warm and the bottom of your feet were tingling. You’d never felt so good before. Had never imagined you could ever feel like this. 

Jihoon moved to kiss you again as he laid you back down on the ground, helping slip your dress off your body. Even though it had only been a few hours, you were sure you’d never tire of kissing Jihoon. 

You grew more and more impatient as Jihoon slipped his tongue into your mouths, pulling desperately at his clothes. “Why are you wearing so many layers?” Jihoon found your eagerness endearing, the way you wanted his clothes off his body but refused to let him part from your mouth. Somehow, after a few failed attempts and limbs getting awkwardly caught in fabric, you were both naked, bodies pressed tightly together. 

Your arms were gripped like a vice around Jihoon’s neck, loudly whining as you bucked your hips up, trying to find some sort of friction.

“Desperate little thing, aren’t you,” Jihoon chuckled, tauntingly. “Looked so innocent when I first saw you, but you’re really just aching for cock.” Your mewl was indication enough that you liked the way Jihoon was speaking to you.  

“Please, need it. Need you in me now!” you begged. It was too much for Jihoon. The way your hair was splayed around your head like a halo, the way your skin was glistening with a thin layer of sweat from the heat, the way your neck and chest were red from his ministrations. As his gaze slid down your body, he took note of your heaving chest, the smooth skin of your belly, the way your pussy was dripping wet. He couldn't take it anymore. 

“Already so ready for me baby. Don’t even need my fingers or my mouth on you, do you? Bet I could slip right in.”

“Yes,” you wailed. “Please, put it in, please-” you broke off with a cry, hands shooting to grip at Jihoon’s biceps as he pushed into you with a single thrust. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry Faerie, did I hurt you, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no, felt good, don’t stop Jihoonie,” you babbled, desperate for more. 

Slowly, he pulled out, moving until just the head of his cock was still in you before pushing back in. The strokes were gentle and languid. Your heat was so warm and tight, he felt like he was on cloud nine. Jihoon dropped his head to your neck, licking and kissing at the skin there as you dug your nails into his shoulder blades. 

“Jihoon,” you moaned, feeling overstimulated by the feeling of his lips on your skin, his hands stroking your body, his cock inside you. “Don’t stop, don’t ever stop.”

“Never,” he said vehemently. He pressed his forehead to yours. “Wanna be with you forever. Wanna be inside you forever. Never letting you go after this.” 

You cant your hips up to his, the feeling of your clit grazing his skin adding an extra level of pleasure. 

“Jihoon, feel something, feel pressure,” you gasped. 

Jihoon slipped a hand between your bodies, pressing delicate circles against your clit. “That’s it Faerie, let go. Come for me,” his voice was breathy and strained, as if trying to hold himself together. 

You let out a loud, long-winded moan as you came, your orgasm washing over you in waves. Vivid colors splashed like fireworks against the back of your tightly shut eyes. You threw your head back, arching your body up as if chasing more, more, more. 

You vaguely felt Jihoon pull away, and whined pathetically, too enveloped in this newfound sense of pleasure to do much else. Your chest heaved as you slowly regained awareness, prying your eyes open. The world was blurry, and you realized your eyes were filled with tears. You saw Jihoon begin to stand, and whined as he walked away. 

“Not going anywhere, baby,” he chuckled. “Just gonna clean you up.” He grabbed a washcloth from his bag and wiped away the sweat and fluid on your body. He tossed the cloth to a corner of the tent, along with the blanket he was sitting on that seemed to be stained with something white. 

Jihoon laid down beside you, gathering you in his arms. You whimpered a bit, your skin sensitive everywhere, as if every nerve ending was exposed to Jihoon’s touch. Your head rested against his heart as you traced silly patterns on his abdomen.  

“I meant what I said earlier,” Jihoon said, the vibration of his chest tickling your cheek. “I want to stay with you. I don’t want to leave.” 

You sighed. “I know, my sweet, but we must part. It is inevitable. We are from different worlds. However,” you lifted your head, “I have a plan. I will request an audience with the Queen come morning, and request to give up my powers, so that I may become human.”

Jihoon began to argue, “No, Y/N, I can’t ask you to do that.”

You shook your head firmly. “You are not asking me for anything. This is my decision. There is nothing waiting for me in Faerie, Jihoon. I do not have family, and anyone who I would consider a friend has a mate of their own. Here, in the human world, I have you.” You placed a hand gently to his heart, letting the steady beat relax you. “I want to be with you. Eat with you, sleep with you. I want to meet your friends and your family. I want to build a life with you here. That is all I desire.” 

Jihoon still looked hesitant, worried that you may not completely understand the depth of what you were saying. “Y/N, to give up the only world, the only life, you’ve ever known…are you sure you want that? Are there no consequences?”

You cut him off with a kiss. “That is nothing for you to worry your beautiful head about. For now, let us sleep.” 

Jihoon watched curiously as you placed a hand to the bottom of the tent. Suddenly, the ground beneath him started to feel soft, as if he was laying on a cloud, not solid ground. Through the white cloth, he could faintly see the yellow and green shades of moss and grass growing to create a makeshift bed. You laid back down, pressing one last kiss to his lips. “Good night, Sweet Jihoon.”

You awoke at the first sign of daybreak the next morning. It was time to return to Faerie, but you were in high spirits. You have a purpose this time: to fight for your freedom and return to Jihoon. 

You gently brushed the strands of hair away from his forehead as you cooed his name to wake him. Jihoon’s eyes fluttered open, lips splitting into a wide grin when he caught sight of you. 

“Morning beautiful,” his voice was raspy and deep. You felt the sudden urge to repeat last night’s events. You clambered to your feet, dusting off the skirt of your dress you had thrown on when you woke up. No, there was no time to fall back into the sheets with your lover. You had a job to do. 

“It’s time for me to go,” you said, faintly, holding Jihoon’s hand as you led him out of the tent into the cool morning air. He then wrapped you up in his arms and kissed you, lips slightly chapped from the chilly night air. 

“When can I see you again?” He brushed his thumb over your cheekbone. 

“Give me one year. In exactly one year’s time, I will be here again, whether it be with good news or bad news. Should the Queen grant my wish, I shall return home with you. Should the Queen not grant my wish…” you looked away, “I will return for just an hour, to tell you goodbye.” 

Jihoon nodded, knowing there was nothing he could say to change your mind. “One year then. I’ll be here, waiting.” 

As you stared at the grass, something caught your eye. Quickly, you bent down to pluck a lone dandelion flower from the ground. After analyzing it for a while, you placed it in the palm of your hand, enveloping the flower with shimmering white light. Then, you twisted the stem into a ring, before taking Jihoon’s left hand, and sliding the flower ring onto his pinky finger, opposite the silver ring on his other hand. “This flower is enchanted, and will never wilt. I hope it will serve as a reminder of me, so you never forget this time we shared.”

Jihoon caught your hands, holding them tightly. “You know I will never forget you. But, thank you. I will treasure it forever.”

You nodded, eyes welling with tears as you leaned in to press one last kiss to Jihoon’s lips. “See you in one year, my Sweet Jihoon.” 

You stepped back, fingers slipping from his hold. 

“See you in a year.” 

With that you turned to walk into the forest. Jihoon watched until your silhouette disappeared into thin air.

“Hyung!” Seungkwan called, shaking Jihoon out of his stupor. Somehow, he had walked all the way from the camp back to the main houses. He didn’t remember a single moment of the trek. “You’re back! Come on, we have to wrap up shooting!”

Oh, that’s right, the broadcast, Jihoon thought, desolately. We are going back to Seoul tonight. 

Jihoon silently trudged into the upper house, all his members watching. 

“What happened to him?” Seungcheol demanded, glaring at Jeonghan accusingly. 

The blonde held his hands up defensively. “Me? Why do you assume I did something?”

“You’re the one who sent him to the tent last night! Now look, he came back more depressed than ever!” 

Jeonghan glanced at Joshua, the two sharing a silent look of confusion. “We’ll go check on him,” the latter said to placate Seungcheol. 

Together, the two boys went into the house, noticing Jihoon belly flopped onto the bed. 

“Oh, Jihoonie, what’s wrong?” Jeonghan sat on the edge of the bed, patting the younger reassuringly on the back. 

Jihoon mumbled something incoherent into the pillows. 

The two older boys exchanged another glance, as if urging the other to say something. Finally, Joshua sighed. “We thought you would’ve enjoyed the company waiting at the campsite. That’s why Jeonghan sent you there last night. We are really sorry if that was the wrong call.”

Jihoon shot up straight, turning to level his members with a glare. “What do you mean by company? You two knew? About Y/N?!”  

“Ah, so that’s her name,” Jeonghan said. “We noticed a girl sitting, well hiding, up in the trees when we first got there. She had this mystical air around her, we figured she was something nonhuman.” He turned to Joshua, who shrugged.

“Yeah and, I don’t know, she seemed so lonely. Reminded us of you, so we thought why not have you go the next night? If she returned, you’d meet. If not, then you’d get some good rest. So, win-win.” He then climbed onto the bed to take a seat by Jihoon, wrapping an arm around his shoulders in a side hug. “What happened last night Ji?”

Jihoon began to recount the story to the two men, starting from when he met you to when you left. All of it. By the end, Joshua was giving him a sympathetic hug, while Jeonghan had a determined look in his eyes. 

“Well,” the blonde clapped his hands together. “Looks like we have no choice but to return next year then!” He shot Jihoon a wink. “Let me go tell the other boys!” He ran from the room. 

Jihoon stared with his mouth wide open as Joshua sighed. “What he means to say is, we’ll set up a meeting with the producers. No matter what, we’ll get you back here in a year so you can see her Jihoon. It seems like Y/N is pretty optimistic that everything is going to work out, so you should be too.” With one final caring pat to the back of his head, Joshua too left the room. 

As Jihoon sat alone, thinking about what his brothers had said, he heard raucous laughter and cheering coming from outside. It seemed like Jeonghan had told everyone else the news about them returning. Jihoon let out an endeared laugh. He knew that he would have to tell the rest of the boys about you, and that they would be nothing but supportive. Jihoon stood from the bed, his confidence in seeing you again growing. 

In a year, he’d return here and bring you home with him. With a hopeful smile, he placed a kiss on his flower ring and headed out to meet his friends. 

[not-poignant]

Sorry this is so long I literally cannot help myself:

I’ve been a reader on ao3 for a long time. This year, for the sake of giving my brain something new and in order to be a mysterious hottie on the metro, I’ve challenged myself to read some published books. It has been a really fun and very interesting experience. I could write essays of personal and literary reflections.

But, favorite author mine, one difference I did not expect, and in hindsight it should have been obvious, was the vast, essentially ideological difference in what is called smut.

I started reading the Court of Thorns and Roses series and it’s good, I’m having a good time. But the thing is, everyone calls it faerie smut. And I guess it must be. When I heard faerie smut and decided to give the series a try, my faerie smut background came from ao3, namely fae tales and the ice plague.

“With each thrust I felt his love and saw the stars” really has nothing on “my entire family burnt and now my lover has his hands in my mouth and up my ass while he heats me up so thoroughly I’m basically delirious and then our sex mentor wine aunt was hungry and told me I was doing good while he drank my blood and his lover who is also the king casually reads nearby likely with bits of flesh stripped off him as an act of sacrificial love.”

The thing is, the sex scenes I’ve read in Sarah J. Maas’s series don’t really… do much. Regardless of crazy scenario, essentially every of the many erotic scenes in the fae tales verse either moves the plot forward, is essential to character development, or showcases emotional intimacy. (Which, tangent, is why you’re more recent works that generally showcase way less sexual content still feel so similar because the plot is still moving forward, characters are still developing, and the emotional intimacy is still so delectable.)

So anyway, reading book books has been really nice and a surprisingly reflective experience. I kinda forgot how little is considered scandalous by so many.

(And also, compared to ao3 which I usually read on my phone, it’s very difficult to read physical books while horizontal. Another plus for ebooks?)

Hi hi anon!

I'm glad you're enjoying the experience of reading 'book' books! :D I've heard many good things, and while I'm not likely to read it (I don't read cishet m/f if I'm not being forced to), I think it's awesome that it's going so viral and getting lots of folks into fantasy :D

As for the ACOTAR sex scenes, I haven't read them, but I feel like they fall into a certain kind of spicy sex scene being written right now that falls under 'explicit' for readers not used to seeing this stuff in fantasy, but absolutely kind of doesn't for people used to reading smut on AO3.

I find for myself, I can't handle these kinds of sex scenes because they're often over in like one or two pages and they feel very empty to me. They're not empty to many readers and I'm not trying to say they're empty overall, I just need a lot more emotionality, meatiness, and often character-based stakes.

Or I think about it this way: I've written sex scenes that are easily 6,000-9,000 words long. That's a tenth of a written standard-length novel. That's too long for novels. This is why you never see these kinds of sex scenes published anywhere except for erotica, and in erotica there's pressure to make the sex scenes shorter anyway. The only place where I know I can safely write sex to the length and breadth I want to is in serials, on AO3.

Authors in the mainstream book-writing world are kind of forced into a shape that fits the length of the book they're writing. If they write three very deep/lengthy sex scenes of the length that I write at, firstly they'd be thrown into the erotica dungeon (can no longer be searched for on most distribution websites), and secondly, that means they lose a lot of space for writing story, which for many of these writers does not happen during or because of sex scenes.

Authors can still sometimes write very hot sex scenes in a few hundred words, or one or two pages, don't get me wrong! But the vibe is different. I've never really liked sex scenes in anything published except for erotica, because it often feels... idk, like for example this line:

"“With each thrust I felt his love and saw the stars”"

Idk if this is canon to the book, but for me this means nothing. Why is the character feeling this way? What is it about the thrusts? What is it about the pose? Is it about eye contact? (And is this innately comfortable? How neurotypical is this character?) Undulation? Does he linger at the end? Is it because he circles his hips a certain way? Because that's not love, that's just talent.

I suppose for me, as a reader, I need explanations that let me understand why emotional shifts are happening in a sex scene. In the same way that I would need them in any other character change.

Other people I think can suspend their disbelief better and think 'wow that sounds amazing and hot.' I'm like 'I don't get it.'

And that's very much a me-problem! It's just a me-problem that I think I share with quite a lot of other readers, which is why we're all out here enjoying much longer sex scenes and then realise we can't really find them anywhere except for like... AO3, and some manhwa and manga and published erotica lmao. (I do think you're actually also more likely to find it in like f/f and m/m of any genre).

Anyway, on the flipside, some people find my sex scenes way too long and don't see the point. So all this stuff needs to exist for everyone! I just yeah, really like sex scenes where character stuff is happening. I can't write them otherwise, likely because I'm ace, and don't really find 'look at hot body = want to have sex' a thing that's relatable.

[dilfdarthvader]

The official 'OP has read 500 Merlin fics in a month' rec list

I am truly deep in Merthur hell and have recently hit around ~500 fics read for this fandom so far. As such, I wanted to compile my favorite Merthur fics so far.

(if y'all like rec lists, i might do an obikin rec list too!)

Secretary by Candymacaron

rating: E

Summary: Job-hunting has familiarized Merlin with rejection. Most of the listings in the paper require qualifications he lacks, or prior job experience no eighteen year old would have. One listing sticks out at Merlin—a simple advert, with the word ‘Secretary’ written in bold typeface. (A Secretary Movie/BBC Merlin AU in which a fragile Merlin learns to love his job, himself, getting spanked, and his boss. All in that order.)

one of the first fics i read in this fandom and!!!! it's such a good secretary au (which is always a classic for any kink readers)

The Wedding Night by s0mmerspr0ssen

rating: E

ship: Gwen/Merlin/Arthur

Summary: The consummation of a royal marriage must be witnessed by a third party. Naturally, for Arthur and Gwen, that witness is Merlin.

My bookmark note read: "did i start watching merlin for the show or for the smut fic? this fic makes me think it's the latter". This ship is just SO GOOD too.

Next to You (It's the Rule) by LunaMyLove

rating: T

summary: Arthur and Merlin have a special relationship. They always have, even when they were prince and servant. While many question it when first noticing, eventually it becomes an understanding in Camelot—and even among some other countries—that where there is Arthur, there is Merlin. And, where there is Merlin, there is Arthur. Or Arthur and Merlin's relationship as witnessed and explained by others. Also, or Five times someone realizes that Merlin is the Queen, one time Merlin realizes it himself, and one time he owns it.

such a fluffy read that had me giggling and kicking my feet in the air and twirling my hair. instant reread

all the scars at the start (I could’ve showed you) by AgapantoBlu

rating: T

ship: Gwen/Merlin/Arthur

Summary: [In which Gwaine accidentally brings Merlin's dead girlfriend back to life as a ghost. Leave it to Arthur and Gwen to overreact over every small thing, but being very chill about the very big thing.]

you'll need to be logged into AO3 to read this, but boy is it worth it. i was sobbing. full on sobbing. 10/10

Glow Gold by BelleCrow

rating: E

Summary: Merlin takes the final battle into his own hands after Mordred's blade finds Arthur's heart. Wielding power over life and death there on the battlefield, Merlin's magic is revealed. But the only surviving witness is Arthur, and he has carefully spun the tale to keep Merlin's magic a secret. The King is determined to keep it so until he can drag the truth from Merlin's lips and press his own revelations back into his sorcerer.

this fic gave me a magic kink. i had to keep pausing reading bc holy shit.

Fit for a King by Clea2011

rating: E

Summary: Merlin is a prize fit for a king. But the king he was intended for hasn't taken that prize. When the king of the faeries loses his big-eared, argumentative and troublesome bedmate, he orders his people to find a replacement. Nobody disobeys Oberon. Ever. But Merlin is Arthur's.

FAE! FICS! i love love love this fic and it was so fun and full of some fun familiar characters

so close and I'm halfway to it by ariadne_odair

rating: M

Summary: Merlin swears he doesn’t go looking for trouble, but it seems to follow him around regardless. After being ambushed by a group of bandits, it’s up to Arthur and Merlin to rescue the rest of the knights. Of course this involves journeying through a forest full of magical creatures- because nothing in Merlin’s life is ever easy. That would be more than enough for Merlin to deal with, but nights alone in the wilderness and escaping death every five minutes, have a funny way of bringing two people together. Merlin doesn’t want to reveal his true feelings to Arthur, but then he never wanted to reveal his magic to anyone, either. And look how that turned out. It's a lot easier to manage Merlin's secrets between them when they're surrounded by nothing but trees. But Arthur and Merlin will have to return to Camelot eventually. Merlin's destiny might just be closer than he thinks.

and finally, the first fic in a decade that kept me up until 2am to read. this fic made me fall in love with fics again.

[noxturnalpascal]

My Summer Plans: (in no particular order)

quit my job

read faerie smut

visit the beach

write a Tim Rockford x ofc fic

do my PT to fix my back

ok, if I'm being honest; the first thing on my list is the first thing on my list.... it makes the rest of the list that much more possible!

[daisychains111]

live "tweet" books with me (via the Goodreads progress bar) pt. 6 A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

SHAMELESS PLUG: The rest of the books are on my page as pt 4/4.5 and pt 5 hehe

Nesta laughing at the cauldron is so badass oml.....she was really pissing me off in frost and starlight so this book better redeem her"

you're reading my mind cassian...man up and knock

is he gonna call her nes the whole book YES PEASE

 Nesta "You're not my high lord" Archeron back in action

hahahaha rhys is scared of nesta (for good reason but it's still funny)

I still say that Nesta and Mor are gonna be besties.... it's just a matter of time

HAHAHA self insert smut book shaming

damn Cass brutal as hell

I am beyond excited to watch these two losers lust after each other for the next 700 pages...my favorite annoyances to lovers....plus Cass drooling over Nesta in pants is HILARIOUS

cassian comparing his reactions to things that happened to Nesta to Rhys' reaction to feyre and Tamlin cracks me up....just patiently waiting for their mating bond to kick in

Eris is right, they need him...but 1 he doesn't need to be a dick about it, and 2. I'm not excited for Mor to find out

Nesta making fun of her celibate bat boy "making fun of my smut books? I raise you making fun of you having to jerk off yourself" ICON

how Az isn't laughing his ass off rn I will never know...he's stronger than me that's for sure

hmmmmmm....Nesta dear, that sounds suspiciously like a mating bond

these mf have dirty ass minds....they're really just horny af

cassian don't be a creeper

yes Cassian be very bashful about what the sentient house can see...ya nasty

I would choose to read books with a romantic subplot over just a plain romance book literally every day but sometimes I'm really just like "fuck your war go kiss"

hehe Nesta and Gwen bestie prediction

I love the house so much...such an instigator

OMG JUST KISS ALREADY WTF

choosing to ignore the length of Cassian's hair bc long hair is an ick

AHHHH HIM TELLING HER TO KEEP REACHING OUT HER HAND JUST LIKE MOR TOLD HIM TO DO WITH HER IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL...IM SOBBING

I'm really ready for the Archeron sisters to be on one team...this 2 vs 1 bullshit is stupid...like clearly you love each other

YYAAAYYY KISSIINNGGG

YAYA RHYS AND FEYRE BABY!!! I saw that coming from a millleeeeee away

that is gonna be the most spoiled child known to man

reading this in the library at school is an interesting choice

"Just sex," my ass

azrial is the worst chaperone in all of existence... but he's also clearly the biggest Cassian/Nesta shipper in existence, so it's fine... Also, the way he just knowingly ate at the table after what they did is BOLD

awwww smutty book club

the older sister disapproval is real...also Nesta calling Rhys Rhysand is hilarious

I love Emerie and Gwyn so much omg

Emerie and Gwyn giggling at the sword inuendos is peak bestie vibe energy

every once in a while the Archeron sisters will say something very "human girl in her 20s" and it cracks me up to no end to watch their centuries-old faerie boyfriends look at them as if they're speaking tongues

just admit you're in love with each other..." just sex" is just hurting both of you

that is just about the hottest thing I've ever read

ewwww what does Tamlin want

Nesta needs a pin that says "bitch and proud" bc she really owns that shit like no other

"your my friend" my absolute ass

I love dancer!Nesta

bc I haven't read in like 5 days I can't remember what plan Cassian is ruining rn but I'm glad he's doing it...go dance with your girl pookie

HE HAD MOR GIVE HIM DANCE LESSONS??!!?!? YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW

Rhys is good at his job bc he can have feyre AND Cassian freaking out at him in his head and still hold a conversation....live laugh love feyre and Cassian as the Nesta Archeron protection squad

ha ha az...can't hide that you are in love with Elain from Nesta, she sees all

Az getting Nesta a gift is the cutest thing ever

FUCKING FINALLY JESUS CHRIST 🤦🏽‍♀️

Cassian has the confidence of an actual doormat...sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's annoying as hell

YAY THEY'RE MATES....BOOO THEY'RE STUPID

I love Gwen so much...that's all

THEY'RE GONNA WIN THE WHOLE THING I JUST KNOW

hehe her mate taught her 😊

there is a little too much plot happening right now for a book that only has 30 pages left

cracking jokes after you almost just died...Cassian I love you

OH GOOD GOD FEYRE

death pacts make me want to kill the people who made them

miracle magic objects are gonna miracle magic object now and bc Nesta's a badass everyone's gonna live...the end

YAY NESTA AND RHYS ARE GONNA BE BESTIESSS

awwwwww nyx

if I die never knowing what happened with Eris and Mor I'll kill Sarah myself (I never got to know)

(Afterthought in post-production: this could've been two books bc the way the plot was resolved in the last 30 pages of a 750-page book is WILD)

I'm also not gonna be reading fantasy for a while just bc that's not what's next on the tbr, so it might be a while before I do the next part cause these are harder to make for contemporary novels tehe

[thesylphroad]

Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 1 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Everyone on TikTok is going batshit crazy about this book series, so as a very late-to-the-program sheep, I must join the wave. My credentials are that I'm obsessed with faerie lore and I read a lot of AO3 fanfic so I'm pretty well qualified to review what I am assured is "faerie smut." There better be faeries and fucking or I will sue.

Commence Chapter One.

We meet the book's narrator, Girl in Forest. She has wandered too far into the forest (which, like, never a good sign in fantasy). Her family is starving, so she is hunting for deer. We get some ominous foreshadowing about both giant wolves and the supernatural ilk that seems to freely wander out of Prythian, which is the name for the "faerie lands." Right away it sounds like this world will adhere to a physical barrier between realms (thank god, I hate that dimension jumping bullshit). Kudos to the author for spelling faerie with the "e' because that's obviously the superior way to spell it.

Anyway, moving on, this girl is cold, and she tells us as much, and then immediately launches into an existential follow up: "A shudder skittered down my spine at the thought, and I shoved it away, focusing on my surroundings, on the task ahead. That was all I could do, all I'd been able to do for years: focus on surviving the week, the day, the hour ahead." Immediately I'm like, okay so I think she has BPD. Anyway narrator is simply a girlboss, in what almost seems like a Hunger Games type backdrop. Girls just wanna survive their dystopian medieval-esque? era frozen hellscape. Please god don't let this be a YA series. Anyway, author maybe forgot the "show don't tell" rule, but I'm full of forgiveness so I won't hold it against her.

Narrator reminds us (me?) she is in a tree, which is good because I'd forgotten that detail. Never mind, in the next sentence she informs me she is getting off the tree. We already know she's like, survival-centric, which gives us a good idea as to her social status (and thus her likely financial class) but she adds in a detail about her fraying boots so we know for sure she's no uptown girl. Protagonist is probably like, humble and selfless and all that.

Okay, so she's got a few hours of daylight left and now she's really harping on the giant wolves rumor, and like, how they're traveling in groups (as wolves are wont to do). But more sinister still, she shares this little detail: "Not to mention whispers of strange folk spotted in the area, tall and eerie and deadly." I have bad news for the narrator after reading the follow-up sentence: "ANYTHING BUT FAERIES." I have a sneaking hunch it might be faeries, since like, this is the forest and the forest leads directly into the faerie lands as aforementioned.

We get some lore for the road, about "long-forgotten gods," whom the hunters are still praying to, for some reason. I guess when you need a crutch you need a crutch, right? She goes on to explain that she's actually a couple of days away from the "immortal border of Prythian," and this is why they've been "spared an attack." I will assume these are hostile invader faeries until otherwise advised.

Oh no, narrator's family finished their last loaf of bread yesterday, which means they are really banking on narrator to come through with a kill. Narrator is like, the breadwinner, except instead of bread it's deer. Which, like, not to be rude but this is fatherless behavior, where is the dad who's supposed to be crunching through the snow with her right now? Narrator is like (paraphrasingly), "But also I'd rather starve than be wolf food. Or faerie food." OK, DO THE FAERIES EAT HUMAN FLESH? More on that later, I trust she will not forget to expand on this detail, as author is very good at expanding on…every single detail. "Not that there was much of me to feast on," narrator adds (coyly).

Note to self: narrator is a skinny legend.

Okay, homegirl definitely has some self-worth issues to work through here, which furthers my BPD suspicion. I mean she's like, traveling deeper into the forest, and the whole time she's playing out this scenario where she comes back empty-handed and her family is like, disappointed or angry or something. She's in the winter of her life, and the wolves she meets along the way are her only…I can stop.

Moving on, narrator is waiting and hoping. Good to hear she still has hope, because she definitely just told us she didn't exactly have that. Interesting detail to note is this sentence where she's like "Too many families had already started begging for me to hope for handouts from the wealthier townsfolk." Book world is presumably also in a recession, and they're probably relying on the same age-old trickle down politics pyramid scheme.  I'm on page 19 and protagonist is getting deeply troubling in her existential inner monologue. Like, not only is her life kinda crappy, narrator actually feels like her world has no color. She is in her 2016 Tumblr era. She cannot stop listening to that Arctic Monkeys album. Like, not only is the landscape bleak (could be a little bit of seasonal depression rearing its ugly head here) but this also applies to like, the luxuries of jeweled brooches and expensive silk fabric. I think this is meant to imply that she maybe at one point enjoyed these luxuries, like maybe she is New Poor. You know how there's New Money and Old Money, and there's also New Poor and Old Poor. I think this lifestyle is newly acquired, if that makes sense. She cranks it up a notch by telling us she sometimes "would even indulge in envisioning a day when my sisters were married and it was only me and Father, with enough food to go around, enough money to buy some paint." Okay, okay, actually this makes sense: narrator is an artist. A real Barbara Ross with the paints, if you will; so it makes sense that she sees the world in terms of COLOR. It's interesting to consider that, in these sort of unspecified back-in-the olden days societies there was probably a good deal of like, inter-family resentment when parents just kept popping out kids they couldn't feed, and we see that evidenced here. Narrator resents her sisters, and since she mentioned they're both OLDER than she is and neither one of them are traipsing through the forest with her right now, I can kind of sympathize. I also just randomly remembered that part of this book is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and those old fairy tales love a good "shitty sibling" or "shitty step-parent" motif, so this tracks. 

Narrator admits that, while she hasn't admired any beauty in the world in like forever, she is currently admiring this beautiful winter light on the snow even though she is super miserable and cold (also starving). Narrator is a real contradiction. We get a cute little tidbit about some guy called Isaac Hale (they fuck). She's like, a cool girl, though, so it's more like romps in the decrepit barn, and not anything serious. "Hungry and empty and sometimes cruel, but never lovely" is a real as fuck way to describe a no-strings hook-up. I like that. 

"The howling wind calmed into a soft sighing." Okay, back to that "show don't tell" rule, because I'm bored of the snow at this point. I have some serious questions about the editor who let "the lethal, gentle beauty of the snow" slip through to publication, but carrying on. We get this recurring reminder that the protagonist is "peering through thorns" which seems relevant since it ties back into the title and all, or maybe it's just an allusion to the thorny lifestyle girlboss leads, I don't know yet. Will follow-up on this. 

FINALLY a wild plot device appears, and a deer spawns in the clearing ahead of narrator. Deer is eating tree bark, narrator is like "This deer is not too scrawny to kill." Narrator should remember the old adage "Beggars can't be choosers." She also adds that this deer could sustain her family for like a week, probably. I'm not a hunter myself, so no comment, but I believe her because why would she lie? Protagonist really puts off the whole ACTUALLY firing the arrow process, distracted by her maladaptive daydreaming about what she's going to do with all the meat and the deer hide if and when she ever shoots the damn thing. She's also like, "One of my sisters needs a cloak and the other sister is an if u got it I WONT it type of girl" which, like, stay focused girly, the deer is STILL ALIVE. 

Fuck, okay, now there's some golden eyes shining across the way. This is probably because you took so damn long to kill the deer, and now there's one of those tall faerie things in the bushes!!! 

Nobody panic it's just a wolf. Fun fact: more people get attacked by deer every year than wolves. Wolves are super non-aggressive towards humans, unless they're cornered or feel threatened. Just keep that in mind if you're going to develop a fantasy RPG and wolves are one of the hordes of monsters you include in the wilds.

OK never mind narrator is like, "He was enormous--the size of a pony." CUT THE TAPE. CUT THE FUCKING TAPE. Does…does the author know how big ponies are? Ponies are just small horses, okay, some ponies are like 14 hands high at the shoulder that's almost five feet tall. THAT'S ALMOST FIVE FEET TALL THAT IS TALLER THAN ME. Holy fuck pony-sized wolf is "unnaturally stealthy." Who buffed the wolves in this world? Okay, is it a werewolf? I thought this was a faerie book.

I actually hadn't considered that the wolf might be a faerie, but she suddenly foreshadows that this is a possibility, and I get the feeling author isn't super great with subtletly, so I'm thinking there's a good chance it's a faerie. A wolf faerie. Equine-sized. 

"If he was a faerie, I should already be running" okay how do we know it's a boy wolf? Note to self: wolf faerie is obviously packing. I'm sorry I still can't get over the size thing, like I'm just imagining a pony-sized wolf, and all I can think is that you should absolutely be running at that detail alone. Like, this is clearly some kind of fucked up, genetically maximized wolf. 

Narrator has just explained how she's kind of really alone in the world and her family sucks and the rich people won't help the begging poor folk, but now she's like "Should I help my village and kill this big wolf?" Um, how about no? How about you're the only bitch in this forest right now and are you forgetting that this thing is the size of a small horse?

Girlboss…proceeds to waste an ungodly amount of time wondering whether the wolf is a wolf or something more than a wolf, but the point here is that SHE THEN EXPLAINS SHE ONLY HAS THREE FUCKING ARROWS AGAINST A WOLF THE SIZE OF A SMALL HORSE. Okay, so, I took a deep breath. I am putting my trust in the assumption that narrator is wearing plot armor, but the odds are SOOOOO not in her favor right now.

We learn that the girl has 2 regular arrows and 1 ASH arrow. Ash is supposed to be a faerie killer, according to the narrator. Which is interesting because in Celtic faerie lore ash is actually one of the three sacred trees of the faerie folk, but carry on. Okay, so I'm learning that ash trees are rare in this world. I'm writing that down. This is gonna be the dragonglass of this book series, isn't it? I'm calling it now.

 So it's not that I'm not intrigued but the author is really telling way too much and showing way too little. Protagonist proceeds to like, wonder whether her ash arrow is even REAL. Because like, the counterfeit ash market is a real problem in the village. It could be fake, she's had it for three years, why the fuck has it taken you 3 years to use one of your 3 arrows? I just…never mind. She finally draws the arrow like 8 paragraphs later, but even as her chest starts to ache, she's like, I should get sidetracked again wondering whether this big ass giant ass horse-sized ass WOLF is alone. Girl, I am praying to the forgotten gods for your ass that it IS.

Oh my god, I can't believe I'm typing this but narrator goes on another side quest explaining how she's never faced a wolf before. She seriously needs an Adderall prescription this is insane. "I'd thought it made me lucky--even blessed" GIRL BLESSED BY WHO YALL DON'T REMEMBER YOUR OWN GODS. Jesus. Now she's like, lol idk where to HIT IT. Just hit it. For god's sake. Hit it already. She reminds us one more time she only has the one ash arrow. I think I have to kill the wolf myself at this point. 

Protagonist has already decided for herself it's an animal and not a faerie, but now she's suddenly like, "oh no what if there IS a faerie heart pounding in there?" It will die of old age before you shoot the fucking ash arrow, so I would not worry too much.The wolf is like, unnaturally stealthy but then two paragraphs later it snaps a twig but it's okay because the deer is stupid and just looks in the other direction. How fucking long has this deer been eating bark off this same tree? I feel aged. I feel evolved.

"If I judged wrongly, my life wasn't the only one that would be lost." What the fuck does that mean? Like, if you shoot the wolf and don't kill the wolf it will probably kill you, and if you sit here and wait for spring to come the wolf might kill the deer. What does this mean? I am so confused. I am so overstimulated. Help?

Finally, at long last, can we get a round of applause, narrator shoots the wolf. She waits for the wolf to kill the deer first. She did a lot of deliberating about where to hit the wolf only to hit it in the side, which…statistically speaking that's not one of the more lethal regions to puncture, but that's okay because this is her first wolf, remember? I would like some sort of compensation for having to read this sentence: "He barked in pain, releasing the doe's neck as his blood spewed on the snow--so ruby bright." So ruby bright?????? SO RUBY BRIGHT??????

Ugh.

I really do wanna like this book, okay, did I mention I spent $84 for the hardcover boxset of this series at Target? Okay, well I did, so I'm going to be really disappointed if they suck, because like, TikTok girlies put me on. But I have to be honest this chapter reads like a first draft.

Next up the wolf is just standing there, looking at the narrator. The ash arrow is "protruding so vulgarly" from his side. Gods help me. Okay she is definitely starting to think the wolf is like, sentient. But in a human way. Or like, does that mean a faerie way? Are we sure this isn't a werewolf? She fires a second arrow through his eye, which like, cheap shot considering but go off I guess. Now the wolf is finally laying down. He's still like twitching and whatnot, and the narrator is like "Impossible--he should be dead, not dying!" Well dying is a process, okay, and isn't this your first wolf? Don't get cocky. She describes the blood on the snow some more, and then wonders whether dying from an arrow through the eye is super painful, or maybe he's just trying to "shove death away." My guess is probably yes. Yes to both. The snow is continuing to fall. She decides once more that he is a wolf. Not a faerie. She's honestly just trying to convince herself at this point, I don't even care anymore.

She starts thinking about how another predator could smell the blood while she's cleaning her arrows off, and I'm praying to the forgotten gods that this doesn't happen because at this point I know it has to be dark because it's been several hours in the forest and PLEASE JUST GO HOME WITH YOUR WOLF AND YOUR DEER. I just remembered she has to carry these two carcasses back home and she's just a skinny legend as we learned earlier in the chapter. How is she gonna do that, I wonder? Okay, so the answer is she skins the wolf pelt and just carries the whole deer carcass. Girlboss moment. As she's leaving, she's like "wow really wish I could feel sorry for this wolf" even though she kind of already did wonder whether it was in pain or not that was a whole thing like 3 paragraphs back.

I actually really like the closing sentence, "But this was the forest, and it was winter." It hit me right in the "But winter is coming" feels.

Um, overall, I have to say, well I have to say what the fuck but I'm going to keep reading because I heard there was gonna be fucking. So um, yeah. Stay tuned I guess if anyone wants to read my chapter 2 review.

[koqabear]

Hmmm, I'm really into fantasy. As for groups, I stan a lot (probably too many), so you could recommend any 😭

Also, what do you mean?!😭 Your personality is just so 💜💜💜!! Like I have never admired a stranger so much in my entire life 😭😭😭

-Lvlee

hi loveee !! so as it turns out,,, making a rec list is very hard. very. i've read a lot less fics than i thought omg (which is why all the ones i listed are on the older side LMAO), so i am here with some txt and bts recs 😭 they're mostly supernatural/fantasy, but you can always check out my main blog (@/michipan) if you wanna see anything else!

also 🫠 please.... im sobbing rn u are the cutest ever </3 i am nothing but a silly little normal person i promise

to anyone who decides to check out these recs, pleeeeaaase support the authors!! please im genuinely begging you!!! leave a little review and a reblog and show them love bc they're amazing <3

BTS Recs

☆ Beastly Gods by @lemonjoonah

✧ hybrid!taehyung x fem!reader x ???

wc: 8K // genre: hybrid au, thirller, drama, smut, potentially dark and triggering content so read the warnings carefully!

Summary: ‘Don’t leave the forest,’ a rule that you’ve been forced to follow since birth, but you are tired of living in this wooden cage. Out of desperation you cut a deal with Taehyung, who claims to be the only one who can get you out safely, even though he might be just as dangerous as the god you’re trying to escape.

sol's personal notes:

oh. my. GOD. this was one of the first few fics i read when i joined this site, and it's literally stuck with me ever since. i can't say too much about it without spoiling it, but the worldbuilding and pacing was just. immaculate. the storyline is so well done and just. everything about it is perfection omg. there's another part that goes along with this story, but i can't link it bc ofc... spoilers 😖i wish i had more to say about this fic, but i read it years ago and forgot to write a review for it T_T

☆ Treasure by @sombreboy

✧ faerie dragon hybrid!jimin x fem!reader

wc: 4.7K // genre: pwp smut, hybrid, yandere, fairytale, again potentially dark and triggering content so read the warnings carefully!

Summary: Jimin loves to collect sparkly riches and playthings. You just happen to be the next treasure that ignited his obsessive desires.

sol's personal notes:

(fucking explodes into a million pieces) i can't. i had to reread this story real quick to get a refresher on it and just. jimin's character in this is literally so perfect and mischievous and evil!! and i love it... <3 he is characterized so well and the descriptions are just so well done... ouuu i just read over the smut again and i teared up a little. the dialogue is genuinely so insane im not normal abt this fic sorry.

TXT Recs

☆ the prince and the jackal by @gyuluster

✧ prince!beomgyu x woodcutter!metalbender!reader

wc: 11.8k // genre: fantasy au, fluff

Summary:  in the Kingdom of Terrae, you, a metalbender, believe in the deforestation to modernise the land. As a member of the Lumberjackals, you thrive on cutting down trees and stealing resources until you get caught by the Crown Prince, Choi Beomgyu, a lover and embodiment of the nature you wish to destroy. However, instead of imprisoning you for your crimes, Beomgyu decides to show you the beauty and wonders of nature, leaving you to doubt your beliefs, your identity, and your very feelings for the certain boy determined to change you for the better.

sol's personal notes:

unfortunately the author is no longer active on this account (💔💔💔💔) but like. this story literally changed my brain chemistry i dont think you guys understand. it's been so long since i read this but even so, it lives on in my mind... the world building and characters are so well done and from what i remember, beomgyu's character was literally so charming T_T such a pretty story, i might go reread this bc like... the fantasy was executed so well and i love me a good royalty au <3 not to mention the whole concept of the powers is so cool!

☆ Swimmin' in a Mirror by @bangchanswolfpelt

✧ soobin x2 x fem!reader (stay with me here)

wc: 2.5K // genre: magical school au (not a harry potter au) smut

Summary unavailable.

sol's personal notes:

this one's like a whole 180 from the last fic LMAO but GOOD GOD. this author isn't active anymore from what i know of but like. they were literally revolutionary and this fic is just. never seen anything like this before but )#%(&#%??? it's genuinely so impressive how they managed to pull this off alkghadg so hot so insane so creative

☆ that's the spirit! by @agustdiv1ne

✧ sixth sense/ ghost hunter! soobin x fem!reader

wc: 14.6K // genre: high school au, fluff, angst, some elements of horror

Summary: a couple weeks before halloween, you find the quiet boy from your high school staring up into your bedroom. you're a little creeped out, and miles more scared, but then he shows you something that changes how you see, well, everything.

sol's personal notes:

are we surprised. i don't think so. i literally never shut up about this fic ever like i'm such a sucker for unique stories and this is definitely one of them! the pacing, supernatural elements, and environment was written sooo well, and the worldbuilding and explanations that comes along with the plot is so perfectly executed and well thought out. such a cool story, with a banger playlist to go along with it :]

☆ Dirty Little Secret by @petrichor-han

✧ vampire! yeonjun x gn!witch!reader

wc: 4.0K // genre: angst, dark fantasy, vampire!au, witch!au, enemies to lovers

Summary: yeonjun is one of prince seungmin’s most trusted bodyguards. born as a low-class vampire, he worked his way to the top and is proud of his accomplishments, beginning to adapt his friends’ classist mindsets and forgetting where he came from. but when his brothers come to visit one day, exposing his poor ancestry, everyone turns against him except for one: a lowly servant whom he’d picked on in the past—you.

sol's personal notes:

are you kidding me. DARK FANTASY. yeah that's literally all it took for me to fall in love with this story; the imagery is beautiful and the storytelling is so heart wrenching and good and i am literally clawing at the bars of my enclosure rn btw. this fic is sososo good and i'd literally kill to get another morsel from this universe !

⭒⭒⭒

✧ again, make sure to show all these lovely authors some love!! if any of you manage to see this (unlikely. for the most part) i literally cherish these stories sm and would literally die for them idcidc u guys truly made some masterpieces over here ✧

[romanticatheartt]

I normally don't care and just move on because sometimes people don't seem to use their brain. (In this post you'll see me try to be as nice as possible and not out right rude and mean lol)

Sometimes people forget that Feyre was kidnapped. She hated faeries, she hated their guts and she didn't trust Tamlin and Lucien for the longest time. And they didn't give her a reason to!!!

I think people have read so many shallow romantacy that once a character -specially female- shows some personality and back-bone and hasn't been written for the male character's pleasure, for the author to create two character, just for them to write these two in a smut scene as soon as possible. They want two shallow character with no personality whatsoever and want to just read their smut!! They don't care about the plot and when they see a character with a little depth their brain short circuiting.

You can't stand her because she had the mind of her own? Because she didn't trust her kidnapper instantly because he's hot and "gave" her everything? You can't stand her because she was constantly worried for her family and wanted to make sure they're safe even tho her family came across as not caring and she kept her promise to the mother who neglected her all her life?

"Doesn't deserve a fine man like Tamlin" please don't piss me off!!! The fine man you're talking about never considered her as an individual person for the longest time. She was only there to break the Curse. He only tried to make her fall in love with him, to trigger a 49 years Curse and after he got what he wanted he stopped trying to gain her love altogether. He stopped considering her as her own person and act like she's his trophy. This behaviour is quite common that happens to most of the women irl. They get blinded by all the things that's thrown at them like money, most importantly safety and "adoration", and can barely see the red flags. Tamlin showed red flags even during the first book and not only the second. And I recently realised how people who have been dealing with someone like Tamlin would understand, otherwise we wouldn't have this many people defending him like their lives depend on it!!!

I think people often ignore these things because they see everything surface level. That's why most women can't say anything to anyone because no one would believe them. (specially if there's no physical abuse) They would find it strange because why would you have a problem with such "fine man"? They would find the women ungrateful.

And I hate tiktok for advertising acotar as a spicy book as if it doesn't deal with trauma and has dark themes instead of just the smut. I'm pretty sure this person was mad that they didn't get their smuts from this book after reading 50% of it...

[typingatlightspeed]

i'm curious: what all inspired you to make the mercs what supernatural beings they are in monsterous intent?

Originally it was just gonna be Demo the werewolf and that's it, but eventually the idea to make it into a whole-ass AU happened, and it kinda got silly from there. For Scout I'll be honest it was largely because I freakin' love fauns and satyrs. Always have. And modern deer-style fauns are absolutely adorable, and I really like the combination of cute, horny, and impulse-driven, which is very Scout. Plus a monster form that messes with his legs seemed Right for the guy whose job is Runs Fast. I also project onto him a little bit let us be honest with ourselves here. (I also cannot shut up clearly have adhd and am the littlest sibling who constantly feels inadequate and like I gotta prove myself.)

With Soldier, it's the whole yelling at severed heads on a fence thing from Meet the Soldier. What if the reason he had those severed heads wasn't just to fake an audience, but because he collects them? Dullahans and headless, what if he uses those heads to disguise himself? I read up on the actual folklore and then played with it A Lot, plus Cephalophores (depictions of beheaded saints carrying their own heads in their hands) are really cool imagery, so I went with it. Plus while in actual Irish folklore Dullahans are Faeries, they're also very death-focused, and you'll see them depicted as undead in media a lot, and with Merasmus being the guy he is, the connection just Worked. Basically canon gave me a really easy lay-up of a monster type for Soldier, lol. And Silas Mann jokes as a bonus. Gods help us if Soldier ever gets a horse. (I totally wanna give him a whip made of a human spine eventually.)

Pyro took a while to figure out. I knew I wanted him to be something that couldn't disguise himself easily, hence always being in the gasmask, but I hemmed and hawwed a lot. Someone (I wish I remembered who) pointed me to djinn and how they're made of "smokeless flame" in myth, so I did a bunch of reading and, again, kind of made my version for this AU. I try to make sure to put a lot of the actual real-world folklore and myth in, but also give stuff its own fun little spin, too. :3

Demo being a werewolf was the whole point, tbh. When I first wrote Predation, it was because there was a little bit of werewolf smut in the fandom, but all of it made Sniper the werewolf. I get the vibes, but Demo actually had a wolfman cosmetic set for Halloween! It only made sense he'd get to be the werewolf! Since Sniper had the monster (vampire) hunter costume, he got to be the guy "hunting" werewolf!Demo, and that was how it all got started.

For Engie I couldn't think of a monstrous transformation that would feel right, and since he was the skeptic in Predation, it only made sense that he'd be very unknowledgable and uninvested in the supernatural (at least until he had to be involved with it lol) so instead I just leaned into the transhumanist vibe that Engie sometimes has and went hard on him slowly fashioning himself into a cyborg. Pyro's apprehensions vs. Engie's views mirror the way I in real life am of two minds about properly advanced cybernetics vs. removing healthy body parts.

Heavy was the first after Demo, with Sniper pointing out he was half-jotun in The Good Folk. I knew I wanted him to be a giant of some sort, and with his Siberian background and cold and ice vibes, being part frost giant just seemed right, yanno? Plus the eventual opportunity for big size difference play was something I couldn't resist. Giant man, giant everything. owo

Medic was a tough one for a while, too. Him taking up magic was directly because of his line from the Merasmus boss fight event, where he goes "I must learn this black magic!" and generally being hype about all the magic bullshit lol. Him being a garuda was harder. I knew I wanted to give him wings; that was never a doubt lbr I am a SUCKER for winged humanoids and doubly so winged Medic. Finding the right monster was the hard part. I didn't wanna go harpy simply because Scout was already a Roman monster and got turned by a Greek one, and I didn't wanna double-dip in those mythological waters. And in Buddhist traditions, Garuda are a type of inhuman creature that appear either as giant birds or anthropomorphic birds. My first exposure to the name was as random bird monsters in Final Fantasy games, lol. So I figured Medic going for that and still kinda fucking it up (being a dove rather than a brahminy kite) would be a fun way to make him a bird man off the beaten path.

Sniper being a monsterfucking human, as mentioned above, was inspired by his vampire hunter halloween costume, lol. Also because lbr out of all of them he seems most like the kind of guy who would do a stakeout to get railed by a werewolf.

Spy needed to be a trickster. That was imperative. Ideally a shapeshifter. Nothing from French folklore jumped out at me enough that I wanted to use it, and finally I gave in and went with one of my favourite monsters: kitsune. Plus it gave me an excuse to be a weeb and my god I look for any excuse there. (I'm not a huge anime/manga weeb I'm a huge language/culture/food weeb lol) It ended up working in my favour too since him not even actually being a human French dude but a Japanese fox who cannot create human children means that the Spy Is Scout's Dad reveal in 2017 didn't hit MI nearly as hard as it could have, lol. Thank fuck, really. Also instead it lead to a hilariously squicky misunderstanding on RED Demo's part lol.

Spy's a monster but he's not a monster, Tav, jeez.

Also: Miss P as a human diviner just makes sense. In addition to her being a mage fitting in the world and giving Medic another, better role model than just Merasmus, it makes sense what with half of her job being surveillance of and managing the teams!

[highlordofkrypton]

writing tips // beta readers

The topic of beta readers has come up pretty often ever since I joined Tumblr and is very prominent on AO3, especially in the notes. I wanted to add my two cents on the topic of beta readers and how I work with them to get the best I can out of my work.

My beta reader(s) are the only reason my work ever saw the light of day and I will say it again and again. Without them dragging my ass through some chapters and smothering me with hype and affection, I don't think I would have ever finished a project or gained confidence to share.

What is a beta reader?

A beta reader is someone who looks over your work before you publish it. Commonly, the beta reader is used to check for consistency along with grammar, proofreading, etc.

The important thing is to determine what do you want out of your beta reader?

For me, I use a beta reader for:

Vibe check

Consistency / Lore check

Flow - the rises and falls in the story

Smut check

Grammar, punctuation & spelling

Clarity

Keep in mind, at the end of the day this is your fic, so any feedback given is up to you to implement or ignore.

Where do you find a beta reader?

Anyone can be a beta reader, be it friends or family (depending on your comfort level). It can be other writers in the community, or a reader who has been a longtime fan of your work. Again, it depends on your needs. You'll see that I emphasize this a lot throughout this post.

A good beta reader can work miracles, as long as you know your expectations and set them.

Make sure that:

Your beta reader is someone you feel comfortable with, especially if you're a writer who feels especially vulnerable when sharing early stage writing

You trust the person to be timely (if you have a timeline) and communicate well their thoughts, especially if you want to learn from the feedback

Most important of all, your beta is someone you have fun with.

Does a beta reader need to in the same fandom as your writing?

Not necessarily, no.

Personally, I prefer beta readers who are not as familiar with the fandom because I take responsibility for the 'canon lore' and decision for the changes, but what I do want is to see if the chemistry of the characters (towards each other and the reader) is strong. That's more important to me than lore accuracy. I also prefer to beta fics that aren't in my fandom or my pairings because I feel like I can do a better job in giving feedback! Probably because I'm not great with canon.

Alternatively, if there is a good writer in your fandom who's writing you enjoy and would like to learn from, definitely reach out to see if they'd be willing to beta! You never know.

Who can I ask if I don't know anyone to beta read for me?

I found this really cool ressource the other day: @needabeta! They have a whole masterlist with people who are willing to beta read along with their fandoms, so check them out.

How does beta reading and beta feedback work?

There is no wrong answer; it works the way you and your beta reader want it to! I'll outline the way I do it, but what works for me, may not work for you!

I'll be using the same steps as my drafting process.

DRAFT 0: OUTLINE

I usually finish my outline before mentioning anything to my beta. If i outline a full story, and it looks like I'm actually going to write it, I'll give her a heads up that she'll have a fic coming. I don't let her see the outline, but I will:

Ask her questions about hyper specific elements (i.e. I was struggling with reconciling the problematic age gap between Faeries and Humans in my fic and wanted her opinion) -- this didn't really need characters to discuss the topic.

Give her an outline of where I want to go or what vibes I'm aiming for so she can keep it in mind: this is where you set your expectations.

For example, I'm writing a prequel for the parents of a character in my fandom -- the relationship needs to have love, but it also needs to be cold and broken. It needs to break, but not so much that it can't be repaired (multiple times). I need this to be a balancing act, more than a full fledged story because it's a side story to give background.

DRAFT 1: SKELETON / JUST WRITE

I'm gonna out myself here, but I'm a writer that needs my hand held 😂 Even through I'm just writing, I'll call my beta in multiple times to:

Do an interest check. "Is this story interesting? Do you want to know more?"

HYPE ME UP (and by GOD my beta is so good at this)

I get bogged down a lot in my impostor syndrome and will often re-write the first chapter of a fic 5-7 times. Having her be my conscience and my sanity really helps. She's so good at hyping me up, but she communicates so well that even when I'm not hitting the right notes, she'll know how to ask without making me feel that I need to restart.

A good example would be, "This section is good, will you be adding more for x and x?" I'll know that's my cue to gauge if I'm doing enough or not enough.

But honestly, at this point, she just drags me to the finish line.

DRAFT 2: FLESH OUT THE STORY

Now that the first draft is done, I will ask my beta reader to go back to the beginning and we will both read and take notes. She likes to comment directly in the doc while I take my notes by hand.

@ellipsus-writes also has a cool feature where you can have multiple drafts of your doc IN THE SAME DOC AND THEN MERGE THEM!! HOW COOL IS THAT!! Anyways, that's a software I've recently transitioned to and I'll eventually make a post about that... eventually.

At this point, these are the questions I ask:

Are there any scenes missing?

How does the story flow? Too fast or too slow?

Do the characters have enough depth? What about their relationships?

Do you have any unanswered questions about the story?

Is there anything that is unclear or inconsisent?

Once I have her feedback, time to write all the additional scenes. Notice how all the questions are focused on content and not polishing.

DRAFT 3: SELECTIVE READ

Once the additional scenes have been inserted, I bring in my beta reader again. If it's my main beta reader, I know she'll re-read the story entirely, but I have additional beta readers to whom I'll provide the 'new' chapters and they'll just read that.

If you remember in my drafting process, this step is where I'll want to do a selective read of specific elements. So, I'll make sure to do that first and send her my questions for each element.

Here are some examples:

Character descriptions (i.e. Are there any details that jump out to you as inconsistent? Am I too repetitive with eye colour, hair colour, etc.? Can you check for x's hair colour, I struggled to keep that in check so I might have forgotten things.)

Lore elements (i.e Is the world magical enough? In x and x part, I feel like the magic has died, but does it make sense to reflect what's happening in the story? Are there too many magical bargains?)

Dialogue (i.e. Is x sassy enough throughout the story? I feel like y doesn't talk enough.)

Smut (i.e. Does this need lube? More foreplay? Does the scene need to be longer? Do they finish too fast?)

Show vs. Tell (Do you feel the magic? The pain? The love?)

Tense (past vs. present)

Relationship depth (especially for side characters) (i.e. does it make sense that they fell in love? or that they became enemies? Do his brothers feel like family??)

This also requires self-awareness about your own writing and the points where you struggled in the process. I know writing smut is really difficult for me, which is why I always ask if it's enough.

The best way to get the information you need is to guide your beta as well. Of course, I welcome any additional feedback she might have.

DRAFT 4: FINAL EDIT

GIRL, IF YOU SEE THIS BC I KNOW YOU CHECK MY BLOG ONCE EVERY FULL MOON 🙏 THANK 🛐 YOU 🫵 fOR 🌈 EVERYTHING 💃 YOU 🥳 DO 💗

The reason I'm giving her a shout out at this stage is because I never ask her to proofread more than she feels like because I think it's very boring and tedious, esp if your fic ends up being long AND YET, HER ASS PROVIDES ME WITH AN IN-DEPTH FULLY REVIEWED DRAFT FOR 100+ PAGES. I am blessed, i am bLESSED.

I don't even proofread that diligently.

Anyway, for anyone else, I would normally just ask them to read over a final time to see if the vibe is right. You could even combine steps 3 and 4, and just have your beta read when you're done editing completely. It's up to you and your beta reader!

That's it!

When I post, I always make sure to thank my beta reader even if it was a partial read.

I realized that I didn't say where I found my beta reader, but she's my longtime friend, soul-sister, owner of the main shared braincell most of the time. We used to work in marketing & content writing together, which is why we have a formalized process just from years of being on the same team. A lot of the reviewing process is second nature, but I really do hope it helps someone out there!

We also overlap on almost all our fandoms, but enjoy them in different ways, so I love that she understands the vision and at the same time, brings her own perspective. She also gets my inside jokes in the fic, which is why I say have fun with your beta. You're building worlds together! Make the best of it because if it's not fun, what's the point?

[hellohannie]

Return of the Enchantress (m) | ljh

“𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙚.”

a year ago, jihoon had come across a forest nymph who had inadvertently stolen his heart. after a passionate night together, they agreed to meet again exactly a year later. here jihoon was now, exactly a year, down to the second, later. will you come to him? will he finally be able to take you home? part of the enchantress of the forest series. read part one here!

♡ PLAYERS - lee jihoon x reader

♡ WORD COUNT - 6.3K

♡ TAGS - fantasy au, faerie!reader, fluff, minor angst, smut (MDNI): fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), dirty talk, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it friends)

♡ NOTES - hi everyone! thank you so much for waiting patiently for me. things have been hectic for me and i haven't had the time to really sit and write. i also found myself just hating everything i wrote so i didn't want to upload anything

unfortunately, i don't see my update schedule being any quicker or more consistent in the near future, so i apologize for that. still, thank you to everyone who likes, comments and reblogs, it lets me know that there are people who enjoy my content, and it motivates me to write more!

THERE WILL BE A PART 3 and i promise it'll be updated sooner. i'm actually already a third of the way done with it right now. i just figured it would be better to split this part into two, so that's why there's another part. so please look forward to some conflicts and jihoon in faerieland? *wink wink*

i hope you all enjoy, and please be sure to interact! i love the feedback!

Jihoon’s breaths were loud and heavy as he sprinted through the forest, leaves and branches crunching under his footsteps. He glanced at the watch on his wrist. 5:58am. He pushed himself to run faster. He had two more minutes before the sun broke the horizon. Two more minutes until it was exactly a year since he last saw you. He thought about this moment every day for the past year and by God, did he hope you’d be waiting for him like he imagined in his dreams. 

The campsite loomed into view as Jihoon came to a stop and took in his surroundings. The tent was gone, but the ring of bricks surrounding the bonfire was still there, only now covered in moss from lack of use. Jihoon’s chest felt tight as he remembered the way you were perched in front of it that fateful night, the first time he saw you. 

Jihoon then walked up to the large oak tree you disappeared behind that next morning, staring in hopes that you’d materialize in front of it. He felt a buzz on his wrist. It was his watch telling him a new hour had started. It was six. The sky around him was a blend of pinks and blues and oranges as the sun arose, waking up the world. 

Suddenly, Jihoon felt an itch on his pinky. “No, no no no.” He whispered, holding his left hand up to his face. It was his flower ring. The once perfectly bloomed dandelion was now dried and scratching his skin. The enchantment was gone. 

Jihoon slid to his knees as he began to imagine the worst. It had been exactly a year since you left. You promised to meet him here, but you were nowhere to be found. Not only that, the enchantment on his ring was gone. That could only mean one thing. You must’ve lost your magic. The Queen must’ve denied your request to live on Earth and punished you. 

Jihoon began to cry, wracked with guilt at the thought that it was his fault that you were met with such a fate. “Y/N,” he whimpered. “I’m so sorry-”

“Jihoon?” 

The blond snapped his head up, brushing tears out of his eyes to clear his sight. There you stood, silhouetted by the backlight of the sun, like a vision from the dreams that plagued his every second. Jihoon shook his head as if clearing cobwebs from his mind, making sure that what he was seeing was reality and not a delusion. 

“Jihoon Darling,” you took a step forward, concerned. “You are crying.”

Jihoon stayed frozen on the forest floor, staring at you. He was spellbound, reminded again of how beautiful you truly were. Like the first time he saw you, you were wearing a white dress that flowed like water around your calves as it caught the wind. However, the dress was far more intricate this time, with the sleeves coming to capped hems just below your elbow, causing the fabric to bubble around your arm like a balloon. The neckline was trimmed with eyelet lace, as was the skirt hem. The fabric was cinched in at your waist, held tight with a glimmering fabric tied into a bow. 

Your hair had been loose and curled in ringlets a year ago, but now, it was weaved into a long, thick braid hanging over your shoulder. Millions of little flowers adorned the silky strands from the crown of your head to the very tip of the braid. 

Jihoon’s eyes flitted across your face as you moved closer, taking in the details that had faded in his memory through the year. He re-memorized everything, from the slant of your eyes to the arch of your brows, the high bridge of your nose, the glimmer in your eyes as you looked at him so lovingly. The movement of your plush lips caught his attention first before your tinkling voice registered in his ears.

“Jihoon,” you giggled as he flinched, snapping himself out of your reverie. By now, you had crouched in front of him, hands placed gently at his elbows.  “Come, let’s get you to your feet.”

As soon as you were both standing, Jihoon lunged to wrap his arms around your waist and lift you into a tight embrace. He felt all the tension leave his body as he heard your laughter in his ears and felt your arms glide around his neck. You were here. Finally.

“I missed you,” he murmured into the crook of your neck, breathing in the familiar petrichor scent that bled from your skin. “I missed you Faerie-”

“Ah,” you interrupted. “That, I am no longer.” You pulled back with a serene expression as Jihoon set you on your feet.

“What?”

“I am no longer a Faerie.” 

That was when Jihoon realized that while there were so many parts of you that remained unchanged from the last time he saw you, there were also parts that were different. Your pointed ears were now rounded at the tips, and while you felt warm in his grasp, you did not feel nearly as fragile as before. Perhaps the biggest difference of all, you did not have the glow around your body that had first caught Jihoon’s attention all those days ago. Your skin didn’t shimmer as if you were otherworldly. Nothing about you screamed otherworldly. You look like him. You looked…

“Human,” Jihoon gasped. “You’re human? Meeting with the Queen, it worked?”

You nodded, a hand hesitantly reaching up to cup his cheek. “Are you disappointed? That I am ordinary.”

“No,” he responded fiercely, pulling you in closer by your waist. “You are not ordinary and you could never disappoint me. If you’re human, that means you left your world for me. A woman who is so brave as to leave behind all she’s ever known and loved for me is…is anything but ordinary.” He pressed his forehead to yours, the tips of your noses brushing against each other. “I was worried this day would never come, that I would never get to hold you, kiss you, tell you that I love you.”

“You do not have to worry any longer, sweet Jihoon, I’m yours. Eternally.” 

Jihoon is unsure who leaned in first, all he is aware of is the feeling of your pillowy lips against his own, and the feeling of finally being at home. His hands trailed up your sides up to your jaw, tipping your head back to deepen the kiss. You parted your lips in a soft sigh, and Jihoon took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. With a quiet moan, you pushed your body closer to his, your kisses picking up speed. 

“Jihoon,” you murmured, but he quickly silenced you with another kiss. 

“Missed you so much, Y/N,” he groaned, lips brushing against yours with every word. “Missed you so much, don’t wanna let go, wish we could just teleport home.” 

You slid your fingers into his hair, using the grip to tug him back. “Jihoon,” you said, a bit more sternly, with a sheepish grin. His eyes slid open lazily. “I’m afraid we have company.” Your eyes glanced to your right. His followed and widened as he took in the forest animals that encircled the two of you. All around him, perched in the grass were golden deer and silver bunnies, russet foxes and red squirrels. There were hummingbirds and butterflies littering the trees, while fireflies and honey bees buzzed around in the air. 

You slipped out from his arms and glided over to a shimmering deer, gently petting its head. “There are my friends,” you turned to give Jihoon a blinding smile. “They kept me company as I looked after my part of the forest, long before I met you.” 

Jihoon stared in awe as the animals moved to be near you, reveling in your laughter as you let the wildlife jump into your lap or sit on your shoulders. However, despite your laughter, Jihoon thought he could hear crying and whining. You must’ve heard the same because you said, “They are confused why I can no longer understand them and why they can no longer understand me.”

That’s right, Jihoon thought, when she was a faerie, she could communicate with them, but now that she’s given up her powers…

“Do you mind if I sing to them one last time before we go? They used to fall asleep to the sound of my voice, and I do not want them to see me leave. I would rather their last memory of me be something blissful.”

Jihoon nodded, taking a seat in the grass. Goosebumps arose on his skin as you began to sing, your voice both captivating and soothing. He watched as the animals around you began to lay down, eyes falling closed as your song sent them into dreamland. Jihoon, too, closed his eyes, not because he was falling asleep, but to give you even a semblance of privacy. Your song was not only a goodbye to your friends, but a goodbye to the only life you’d ever known, a life Jihoon was never a part of. It didn’t feel right to intrude on this last moment of yours. 

By the time the two of you made your trek back to the houses the boys stayed at last time, the sun was already high in the sky. You did all of the talking, rambling on about the land of Faerie, and what you’d been doing this past year.

“I’ll admit,” you said, swinging yours and Jihoon’s arms as you walked, “The Queen was rather shocked when I made my request. I’d never expressed discontent with my position as a forest nymph before, so asking to have my powers stripped was unexpected. However, when I told her it was because I had fallen in love…” You looked up at him with an affectionate smile. “Well, she said it was the first time she was delighted to strip a Faerie of their powers.”

Jihoon sighed in relief. “I’m not going to lie, I was worried she might not have taken it so well.” He lifted your interlocked hands up and wiggled his pinky, the dried flower ring still wrapped around it. “When this happened, I was afraid you’d been punished.”

“Ah,” you soothed, “That must’ve been because my powers could no longer uphold the enchantment. There’s no need to worry, see?” You hopped in front and turned to face him, arms spread wide. “I’m just fine and here with you. We don’t need enchanted rings anymore. I can make you a new one every morning.”

Jihoon could feel his heart swell with adoration, your optimism endearing and contagious. Just as he stepped forward to swing you into his arms again, a soccer ball came rolling on the ground, bumping against your bare feet. 

You made a questioning sound, bending to pick up the ball. “What is this?” You held it up to your face, brows furrowed in scrutiny. 

“I’m so sor-woah,” a boy with brown and blond streaked hair jogged towards you, eyes wide, arms frozen from where they had been reaching to take the ball from you. “Who are you?”

You tilted your chin up slightly, face blank as you held yourself with an air of regality, similar to when you first encountered Jihoon. “I am Y/N, a forest n- I am Y/N. You are?”

The boy, still awe-struck, responded, “I’m wondering where you’ve been all my life.”

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon snapped from his spot slightly behind you. He took the ball gently from your fingers before chucking it at his friend’s shoulder. This shocked Soonyoung out of his trace and he glared at Jihoon while clutching his arm. 

“Ow!”

“Soonyoung?” you whispered, unminding of the squabble happening next to you. “Soonyoung!” You explained louder, this time catching the boys’ attention. “You’re Jihoon’s best friend!”

Jihoon flushed bright red and Soonyoung began to coo, “Awhhh Jiiiii~ You’ve been telling strangers I’m your best friendddd~ Wait!” Soonyoung’s head snapped towards you. “Oh my God you’re the girl from the forest! The nymph!” He snatched up your hand and gave you a vigorous handshake. “Does this mean you’re coming home with us? Jihoon refused to tell us anything about you, wanted to keep you a secret.”

Your eyes darted between the hyper boy in front of you and the stoic one to the right, the latter rolling his eyes. “Yeah yeah, this is her, now let go,” Jihoon jerked Soonyoung back with a grip on his shoulder. 

You laughed, a bit endeared by the energy vibrating in Soonyoung. He reminded you of the little pixies from home that zipped around from place to place in the blink of an eye. “It is nice to meet you Soonyoung. I hope you don’t mind that I’ll be joining you on your journey home.”

He shook his head frantically, “Of course not! C’mon,” he grabbed your elbow, albeit gently, “Everyone else has been dying to meet you!”

Soonyoung directed you towards the smattering of houses, Jihoon following closely behind. As the three of you approached, you could hear a cacophony of voices and laughter. Soonyoung brought you to an open space covered by a canopy, where eleven other boys were bent over something. The smell of food and smoke engulfed you as the boy holding your arm yelled, “Guys she’s here!”

In unison, all the heads snapped towards you. You took a step back into Jihoon’s chest, his hands coming to rest reassuringly on your shoulders. It was silent for just a moment before all hell broke loose. 

“Oh my God!”

“You made it!”

“Oh she’s so precious!”

“I told you she’d come back!”

“Ugh fine you were right, here’s the $20 bucks.”

“Wait,” Jihoon moved you to the side and stepped towards two of the boys. “You bet on us?”

As the boys struggled to defend themselves, a familiar blond with long hair stepped towards you, a kind smile on his face. You recognized him from a year ago. He was at the tent with his partner the night before you met Jihoon. The one you thought might have Faerie blood running through his veins. 

“Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Jeonghan. This is Joshua,” he gestured to the man standing beside him, “We were at the forest last year too.”

“I remember,” you ducked your head, wishing your hair was loose so it would hide your flushed cheeks. You remembered coming across their intimate moment, trying not to intrude, but unable to block out the noise due to your enhanced senses. Although, even now, without your powers, it was obvious these men were fated mates. They were truly in love. 

Jeonghan and Joshua held back their laughter, not wanting to embarrass you any further.  

Joshua leaned down a bit, lowering his voice. “I hope you don’t mind that we sent Jihoon to your forest the next day. He was feeling a bit stressed, and we hoped a night away would bring him some peace.”

You flushed even more at this, your collarbones starting to turn red. “It’s alright. I’m…thankful. Actually,” you picked your head up, looking them both in the eyes before clasping your hands in front of you and dipping into a slight curtsey, “I’m indebted to you both, for bringing my soulmate to me. I’m not sure we would ever have met if not for you.”

Jeonghan stepped forward, bringing you back to standing with a hold on your upper arms. “There is no need for that. You are one of us now Y/N, you’re family. Family does not hold debts.” Joshua nodded, giving you a soft pet on the back of your head. 

Your chest felt warm. Family. You did not have a family in Faerieland. Yes you had friends of all different species, but no one that called you family. “I never had anyone to call family at home.”

The boys shared a pitying glance before bringing you into an embrace. “Well then,” said Joshua, “We are honored to be the first to call you sister.”

You sniffled, and it was loud enough to catch Jihoon’s attention. “She’s been here all of five minutes and the evil twins are already making her cry,” he grumbled, pulling you into his side. “C’mon let’s go inside before the rest of them harass you even more.”

You and Jihoon walked into the warm dining hall together, his brothers’ (and now your brothers’) laughter echoing behind you. 

“Lunch is served!” the tallest boy, who you now know as Mingyu, announced as he took the lids off the twenty something dishes lining the lengthy table. You were sitting in the middle of one of the benches, as per Jihoon’s insistence, something about it being easy to reach all the food. Jeonghan, who was sitting on the other side of you, nudged your waist with his elbow. You moved your gaze from the food to Jeonghan who motioned with his chin to the table. “Ladies first.”

It was only then that you noticed no one was filling their plates. Rather, they were all looking at you expectantly, but excitedly, especially Mingyu. You felt shy under their gazes. “I’m…I’m not familiar with human food,” you glanced at Jihoon before turning towards Mingyu. “Would you be able to describe your dishes to me?”

Mingyu was bouncing on his feet. “Of course! No one has ever asked me before! So this…” As Mingyu began to explain each dish to you, you felt your mouth start to water more and more. That is until he got to the center dish. “And this is the main course for today, galbi. It’s grilled beef short ribs-”

You shrieked in horror, hands covering your mouth as you shot to your feet. Everyone, including Jihoon, stared at you in concern. “Faerie, what’s wrong?”

“You all eat cows?” You were appalled, and even felt a bit sick. In Faerieland, cows were sacred. They provided the people of your land with milk which allowed you to create butter, cheese and other products, like in the human world. In addition however, cow’s milk in Faerieland had healing properties, and could be used in potions or with pixie dust to create potent magic. Cows were cared for, they were your friends. You couldn’t imagine taking their life and eating them. 

“I’m, I’m sorry, I-” you scrambled over the bench, giving them all a quick bow in apology. “I must step away.” You ran out the door.

The rest of the boys, in a stupor, turned to Jihoon for an explanation. The latter groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “I didn’t even realize, she probably doesn’t eat meat.” He quickly explained how the forest animals were your friends, so the same must be for all animals in Faerieland. “It’s my fault. I should’ve known better than to think the customs in our world would be the same as the ones in her world.”

“It’s ok Jihoon,” Seungcheol soothed. “You didn’t know. She’s not going to hold that against you. Now you know that there’s going to be a lot of things she needs to learn, but you won't be alone, we’ll all help, right?” He looked around the table. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

“Here Hyung,” Seungkwan handed Jihoon a plate full of vegetarian dishes. “Take this to her so she doesn’t starve. I think that’s a good place to start.”

Jihoon took the plate from the younger with a grateful look. “Thanks Kwan, thanks everyone.”

With that, he walked towards the guest house next to the mess hall calling out your name. “Y/N! Are you in here?” As he stepped into the house, he saw you curled into a ball, sitting on the couch. “Faerie, I’m so sorry. I should’ve remembered that our customs, including diets, are probably completely different. You even told me that animals are considered friends in Faerieland, I should’ve been more careful.”

“No,” you turned to face Jihoon who was sitting next to you on the couch, crossing your legs to sit criss-cross. “It is not your fault. I also should’ve been more composed. I hope you know I do not judge the food you eat. We all have different practices. There’s a lot I must learn about the human world, as expected. Mistakes will be made, but it is never the fault of you or I.” Your gaze shifted to the plate, and as if on cue, your stomach grumbled loudly. 

You shot Jihoon a sheepish look as he laughed endearingly. “Here, Seungkwan piled the plate with vegetables. Do you want to try?” You nodded excitedly. “Ok, here, this is kimchi,” he held the chopsticks up to your mouth, watching expectantly as you chewed. “Good?” Your eyes were wide. “Guess so,” he laughed, picking up something else with the chopsticks. “This is tofu, it is made from crushed beans...” Jihoon watched fondly as you ate everything on the plate, glad that he was able to at least provide some food that you liked. He would make sure to be more diligent in the future as you continued to navigate life in the human world.

That night, you and Jihoon came across another slight issue. After dinner (at which time you apologized to everyone for making a spectacle and for potentially offending them and thanked Mingyu for making extra vegetarian food for you this time), Jihoon asked you to get ready for bed in his room as the members discussed their plans to return to Seoul the next day. He was exhausted as he walked back to his room, stressed from how he was going to explain to the company that he returned from vacation with a girl. 

The shock he received when he opened the door however was enough to re-energize him. “Oh my God!” he shouted, quickly shutting the door behind him and turning to face it. “Why are you in your underwear?”

You answered innocently, “I always sleep like this. The cottages in our land get warm at night as we must close all the doors and windows. Though it is a bit cold in this room.”

Jihoon turned to catch a glimpse of your face, and saw goosebumps littering your skin. He quickly turned back around, moving to the closet near the door. He grabbed a soft shirt of his and tossed it over his shoulder towards where he hoped the bed was. “Put this on.”

The noise of clothes rustling filled the silence before you muttered, “Ok, done.”

Jihoon turned around, relieved that you were somewhat clothed now. “Faerie,” he knelt onto the bed beside you, but you refused to look at him, choosing to pick at a loose thread on the duvet. He placed a finger under your chin, turning your head towards him. Your lips were slightly pouted, eyes a bit teary. “I’m sorry for shouting, I was just surprised and also didn’t want anyone else to see you like that.” You nodded, understandingly. “But darling, you can’t just be in your underwear in the human world ok?”

You quirked your head in confusion. “Why not? It’s nothing you haven’t seen.”

Jihoon choked on his saliva. “I-yes that’s true, but it’s not so much that as it’s just common practice to wear clothes to bed. Sometimes, the room is really cold, so you’ll want to bundle up, understand?”

“Yeah…” you hesitated. “Ok. It’s just…This material is kind of scratchy.”

“That’s my fault,” Jihoon sighed. He never really cared too much about the condition of his home clothes, so usually, he’d just throw them in the washer and dryer without using softening agents. It was safe to say that quite a few of his clothes were not in the most pristine condition due to his lack of care. “I promise, as soon as we get back to Seoul tomorrow, we’ll go out and get you some comfortable clothes to sleep in.”

You conceded with a nod, leaning into his chest. “Are you excited to go home tomorrow?”

Jihoon shrugged. “I guess. I don’t necessarily want to get back to my usual life, but it’ll be nice to have you with me. Are you excited?”

You were silent for a while. “Would you be upset if I said no?”

Jihoon pulled you away from his chest by your shoulders. “No, but I’d be concerned. What’s the matter?”

You turned your gaze down to your lap. “It’s not that I’m not excited to live in your home, with you. It’s just that…I still feel a bit connected to Faerieland here, amongst the trees and nature. I suppose I’m just going to feel homesick for a while.”

“I understand that, Y/N, and it’s normal. Moving away from home is not easy, and the transition is hard. It might be even harder for you since this is a completely different world, I won’t lie, but I promise to be with you every step of the way. If you tell me whatever you're feeling, whenever you feel down, I’ll do everything I can to make it better, ok?” Jihoon cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs grazing your cheekbones. His eyes were so full of love, you couldn’t help but surge forward to kiss him. A gasp of surprise caught in his throat as he quickly reciprocated. 

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips. “Thank you for finding me, for loving me, for giving me hope that I belong somewhere, with someone, with you.” You brought your right hand up to his chest, placing it over his heart. He did the same, leaning in to kiss you in time with the synchronized beating of your hearts. 

“Wait,” Jihoon tried to speak, but you kept kissing him anyway. He chuckled, “Faerie, wait. We have to talk about the plan tomorrow.”

You shook your head vehemently, “Not right now.” You nipped at his bottom lip, smirking as he hissed. “Wanna keep doing this.” 

With a firm hand and the shock factor on your side, you pushed Jihoon down onto the bed, crawling to sit on his thighs. You traced a lone finger along his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, across his cheeks. Your lips followed behind your finger, peppering kisses to every inch of his face. Jihoon’s hands came to grip your waist tightly as you moved to his neck, kisses becoming more firm, teeth nipping at the skin. You slipped your hands under the hem of his shirt, your touch tickling his abdomen. 

Jihoon moved your face back to his, taking the lead to deepen the kiss this time. He moved a hand to your hair, fingers getting caught on the flowers thread into the ridges of the braids. Slowly, he sat up, still holding your body to his. Then he pulled away, pulling at the ribbon at the end of your braid, placing it gently on the bedside table. 

“Turn around,” he murmured. You did so, wondering what he was doing as you felt the bed dip behind you. Jihoon was kneeling now, delicately undoing your hair, taking care not to crush any of the petals he pulled out. “Your hair looked so pretty, didn't want to ruin it.”

You tilted your head into his hands, humming as he massaged your scalp. “The younglings of the court did it for me. The Queen held a farewell ceremony for me, where I could hand over my powers to my successor and say goodbye to everyone. It’s also why I was wearing a much more intricate dress.” Jihoon took note of the dress you had draped onto the chaise lounge in the corner of his room, making a mental note to find a garment bag to place it in while packing tomorrow. “The flowers are handpicked from the Queen’s court. Nymphs rarely get to see those blooms, let alone hold them. I wish I had asked a flora nymph to enchant them so they would never wilt.”

Jihoon placed a kiss behind your ear, hoping to distract you from the regret seeping into your voice. “They are beautiful,” he whispered in your ear, causing you to giggle from the way his breath tickled, “but not nearly as beautiful as you.”

You snorted, and in that moment, you sounded more human than ever. “Cheesy.”

You squealed as Jihoon pulled you back onto the pillows, pinning your hands by your head as he hovered over you. “But it’s true, and I’ll tell you that over and over until I can’t speak a word anymore. I want it to be the first thing you hear in the morning and the last thing you hear before you go to bed. You’re beautiful. And I love you.”

You blushed, the color in your cheeks highlighted against the white pillows cushioning your head. Jihoon had a way with words that left you winded every time. “I love you too. Will you kiss me again?”

“Gladly.” Jihoon kissed you until you were breathless, and it filled him with pride. The last time you two were together, you were an otherworldly creature. You didn’t lose your breath when he kissed you. Your skin didn’t sweat or flush as much. You didn’t look affected by his ministrations at all. This time though, you were human, so your chest heaved as you caught your breath, your skin was pink and your bangs clung to your forehead, wet with perspiration. 

And Jihoon loved it. 

He walked the fingers of his left hand from your forearm to your own, entangling them. At the same time, he brought his right hand down to trace the top of your thigh, just below where the hem of his t-shirt lay. You shivered, his gentle touch causing a fire to ignite in your belly. 

With one hand still holding your own, Jihoon slipped the other one under your shirt and up your body, placing it on your bra, over your breast. He used the tip of his index finger to trace down your cleavage.

You whined, “Don’t tease.” 

Jihoon relented, pulling the cup of your bra down and squeezing your breast. Your nipple pebbled instantly against his palm and you groaned into his mouth when he pinched it with his fingers. Now desperate for more, Jihoon moved his hand to your back, effortlessly undoing the clasp with one hand. Then, he pulled away, ripping your shirt, bra and panties off your body until you laid bare beneath him. 

He stared, bewitched by your beauty. Last time, it was night and the moonlight was blocked by the tent, preventing Jihoon from truly seeing you. Now, with the illumination from the bedside lamps, Jihoon could truly admire you. He let his eyes roam every expanse of skin on your body. He took note of the moles and scars he couldn’t see before, each one adding to your beauty.

“You’re a vision, Y/N,” he whispered, not wanting to shatter the atmosphere enveloping you both. “Want to cherish every piece of you.” He placed a dainty kiss on your sternum. “Will you let me, my love?”

You answered with an impatient whimper, thrusting your chest towards his face. Jihoon let out a huff of laughter and took your nipple into his mouth. You tangled your fingers into his hair, forcing his mouth to your other breast after he spent a few minutes sucking and biting the first one raw. 

Jihoon took his time with you, placing kisses and sucking bruises into the swell of your breasts, the plush of your belly, down to the tops of your thighs. Then he wrapped his hands around your knees, making them bend until your feet were pressed into the mattress before spreading them apart. He nearly groaned out loud at the way your pussy glistened with wetness. Sliding his arms down to wrap around your thighs, Jihoon used the grip to lurch your body down the bed, bringing your cunt to his mouth.

You squealed, back arching when you felt the suction of his lips on your clit. He hadn’t done this the last time, and the slippery sensation of Jihoon’s tongue was only feeding the flames in your belly. You wanted-

“More,” you moaned. “Need more Ji.”

“Yeah?” Jihoon traced your opening with his finger, dipping just his nail inside. “Little Faerie isn’t satisfied? Always greedy for more.”

You whined his name again, wriggling against the iron grip he had on your thighs that kept you from sliding down on his finger. 

“Don’t worry, you know I’ll always take care of you.” With that, Jihoon slipped two fingers inside of you, curling them up until they brushed just right against your g-spot. Your hands shot down to his head, pressing him deeper into your pussy as you tried to push your knees together. Jihoon loosened his grip, allowing you to bring your thighs against his face, keeping him locked. Jihoon thought he’d be content to die like this, with a tombstone that read: Here lies Lee Jihoon, death by suffocation in pussy.

Your fingers curled tighter into his hair as you cried, “I’m so close. Jihoon.” One last suck of your clit was all it took, and with a strangled sob, you gushed around his fingers, the silken walls pulsating. Your hands flung from his hair to the sheets, where you gripped them like a lifeline. Jihoon held your ankles as your thighs quivered, hips nearly coming off the bed as you bent up like a bowstring. Your mouth was open as you let out a loud moan, eyes rolled back so far you could see white. After a few seconds, your legs fell limply to the bed as you came down from your high. 

Jihoon laughed as he pressed a wet kiss to your lips. “You have to be more quiet, Faerie. Don’t want the other guys to hear what a deviant you really are.”

You muttered a sheepish apology as you wrapped your legs around Jihoon's waist, pitching your middle up to grind against the bulge in his pants. You pawed at his shirt, pulling at the collar to send him a message that you wanted it off. As Jihoon tore his shirt over his head, you pushed up onto your elbows, placing feather light kisses to his pecs. Your fingers slipped into the waistband of his pants, shoving it down, along with his boxers. Jihoon hissed at the way your hand encircled his hard cock, thumb grazing the tip to collect his precum and spread it down the shaft. 

You waited until he managed to kick the fabric away from his ankles before gently tugging him forward with the hand on his dick, angling it towards your entrance. 

“Already?” he asked, astounded. “You’re not sensitive?”

“Don’t care,” you mumbled, reaching up to place your lips against his ear. “I’m so desperate for you, Jihoon.”

Jihoon tipped his head towards the ceiling and groaned, “Fuuuuck.” When he looked down at you again, now splayed out onto the sheets like a doll, his pupils were blown, eyes alight with desire. “I’m gonna ruin you, Faerie.” 

He flipped you over, hauling you onto your knees. He pressed his chest to your back, guiding the corner of the duvet into your mouth. “Bite down on this. You’ll need it to stay quiet.” You did as he asked, earning a kiss to your temple before he leaned back up. 

Then, he brought his cock to you, tracing the tip of it along your pussylips to gather the slickness. “Ready?” 

One nod was all it took for Jihoon to thrust the entirety of his length into you. Your eyes screwed shut, scream muffled by the cloth in your mouth. Jihoon set off at an incredible speed, the force moving your body up towards the headboard. A veiny forearm wrapped around your chest, just under your tits, yanking you up onto all fours. Your teeth dug into the duvet, refusing to let it go despite it being wet with your saliva and tears. 

“You’re so tight baby,” Jihoon’s voice was strained, as if it was taking everything he had not to come at the sensation of your cunt gripping him. He bit down onto your shoulder, sucking a constellation of bruises onto your shoulder blade. 

A particularly sharp thrust caused your mouth to drop open in a strangled gasp. “Feels so good, oh my God, oh,” you babbled. “Thought about this every day since I left. Needed it so badly. Ached for you, Jihoon.”

“Naughty nymph,” Jihoon mock scolded. “Bet you touched yourself thinking about me, huh? All alone in the dark, trying so hard to stay quiet, with your little fingers stuffed in your pussy. It wasn’t enough though was it? Needed me there with you, to feel you, touch you, make you cum. Isn’t that right.”

“Yes, wasn't enough without you,” you moaned. “Fuck, don’t stop!”

“Never,” Jihoon growled, the hand not holding you up moving to draw messy circles on your clit. “You’re mine, Faerie. Gonna fuck you like this every hour of every day. Never letting you off my cock.”

You cried his name like a prayer, letting his words send you crashing into your second orgasm. It felt wet and slippery. You could feel the inside of your things get soaked, but you didn’t have the energy to care. All you had left in you was one last clench of your walls, and it was just enough to send Jihoon to his release as well. He groaned loudly, fingers digging into your sides so hard you were sure the skin would bruise. His hips were pressed tightly against your ass, breath warm against your spine where his head was resting. Together, you both flopped forward onto the bed. 

You laid there, wrapped up in each other, until your breathing returned to normal. Jihoon shivered as he pulled out of you, placing an apologetic kiss to your shoulder when you whined. “Have to clean you up, love. One minute.”

After using a wet cloth to wipe you both down, he sent you to the bathroom. In the meantime, he replaced the sheets on the bed, shocked at the amount of wetness soaking them. That’s something we’ll have to explore again, he thought. 

When you returned from the bathroom, he slipped his shirt onto your body again, joining you under the duvet after slipping on a fresh pair of boxers himself. He smiled as you snuggled up to his side, placing your ear against his heart. 

“I love you, my Fate. I’m so thankful that it’s you I get to be with for the rest of my days,” you whispered, eyelids getting heavy.

“Me too, my love. Me too,” Jihoon said, placing a kiss on your head as you fell asleep. He was still unsure how to bring you up to the agency, and how to assimilate you into his life in the human world, but that was a worry for tomorrow. For right now, he chose to revel in how perfectly you fit in his arms, and how his heartbeat matched your own. He chose to trust the universe, because it brought him to you.