#i'm self-quarantined so not much else to do

[russellsppttemplates]

Lando when reader gets Covid (self indulgent)

Note: I hope you feel better soon! 🫶

Cw: reader has Covid-19

"We had a deal, Lando!", you grumbled before coughing a bit more, "I would quarantine with you in my spare room if you kept the distance and always wore a mask!", you scolded.

You almost never got sick, and in the three years you have been dating, Lando could count one instance where you had been ill. It was during a race weekend when you ate something that didn't settle well with you. So, when you woke up in the middle of the night with a fever and a cough that wouldn't budge, you thought it would be best to test yourself since Lando would be coming to Monaco to spend some time back home before the Chinese GP and you didn't want to accidentally pass something to him.

Still, when your boyfriend heard that you got tested and it came back positive, he insisted he would help you when he got back. So far, he had cleaned your apartment, and you were now on day five after your positive test.

"I'm wearing a mask, baby - the "best boyfriend in the world" mask", he joked as he looked for one in the cabinet.

"Not the time to be funny, Lan", you argued softly, "I'm serious, I don't need you to catch this too!", you groaned.

"I have it, I have it!", he called as he stepped inside the room, "here's some soup, and some other foods too, they'll be good for you. I know you can't taste much, but they'll be good for you", he assured.

"I really want a cuddle right now but I can't do it", you pouted under your mask.

"Here, hold my hand, then", Lando said as he stretched his hand out, "I'll disinfect it as soon as I'm out of here and touching nothing else", he assured.

Feeling his fingers lace in yours, you sighed as for now that would have to do and satisfy your needs for now, "you're the best", you cooed.

"I know, my other mask said it but you insisted I put this one on - is it because you can't see my face?", he joked, making you laugh despite your illness.

"Shut up - you know I love your handsome face, almost as much as I love you, Lando", you looked into his eyes.

"I love you too, beautiful girl, even when you're coughing your lungs out every ten minutes", he cheekily smiled.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[writingseaslugs]

Pomefiore: When They're Sick

Did I have too much fun writing Rook, as per usual? The answer is yes. I think I finally get why I like him so much; we're the same dramatic hoe who will talk and hype our friends up. Also obsessive tendencies for the win. He stalks Neige like the fanboy he is, and I stalk several fictional men like the fanboy I am. We're not so different…oh look like I'm rambling again. Hahaha please enjoy the next part of the series!

Disclaimer: All characters in this series are aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please click the “Au Information” below!

Request Information | Masterlist | Au Information

Pomefiore: When They’re Sick

Vil has always been meticulous when it comes to self-care, and holds everyone in his dorm to the same standards. This means getting sick in the dorm wasn’t a very common experience, since everyone took care of their health and took proper vitamins to ensure they don’t get ill. Sadly this doesn’t stop the beautiful thing known as the common cold from spreading around and getting a few sick. Normally it was a quarantine situation, keep the sick student at the nurse’s office until they can get better and keep them away from the other students. Sadly during the flu season, every bed in the nurse's office is oftentimes taken, and no Pomefiore members wants to risk getting sick just to take care of someone.

Vil Schoenheit

Vil sees being sick as a major inconvenience on his end, and automatically goes into self care mode. If he even so much as sniffles he’s calling up a doctor. His health is very important, so he’s meticulous in taking care of things before it gets bad. Sadly some things can’t be prevented, and when flu season rolls around and it’s a new strain that his body isn’t used to, there’s only so much he can do. He’ll still be calling up a personal doctor though to help take care of him.

The moment you offer to help he’s turning you away. He already has a team on it in order to take care of him, so he doesn’t need a classmate to do anything for him. So why aren’t you leaving? You know you can get sick too, right? Not to mention he looks hideous like this! His poor skin is paler than normal and looks sickly, his nose and eyes are red and he has the sniffles. Honestly the only reason he doesn’t want you there is because he can’t stand you seeing him like this. Insist on staying though, because doctors are one thing but they aren’t there 24/7 to take care of him, and something domestic about taking care of someone while sick melts his heart.

Due to the doctor’s working with him, he has lots of prescribed medication and vitamins to take while recovering. The only thing he needs is for someone to bring them to him while he lays in bed and tries to feel better. This is where you come in, obviously, playing the role of nurse and making sure he takes all his medication. He’s anal about it being exactly on time, so have alarms set so he doesn’t have to even think about it.

Just like with medication, he has a team of nutritionists making him meal plans. Again, his health is closely connected with his career, so he needs to get better as soon as possible. If you make the meals you better follow the instructions perfectly, or get someone else to do it. He won’t admit it, but he’s happy if you make him the food yourself. He’ll comment that it tastes nice and that he appreciates the efforts you’re going through to take care of him.

Thanks to you, the doctors, and nutritionist, his flu lasts a solid three days. He’s going to be taking it easy for the next week or so just to make sure his body is fully recovered. He’ll of course be thanking you at that time, and letting you know how much your efforts mean to him. He even promises that if you ever fall ill, he’ll make sure to get you a team to help take care and nurse you back to health. Wait…you want him to assist? Oh honey, he can’t afford to get sick again.

Rook Hunt

Rook has always been a wild child, eating things off the ground when he was a small boy and hiding in the foliage while hunting. His immune system is legendary at this point, so it’s no surprise that he rarely ever catches anything more than a slight head cold. When the flu season washes over Pomefiore and he gets sick though, it’s game over. He’s getting the man flu to the max, high fever and delirious to the max. He probably should be taken to the hospital because you’d think he was dying with how crummy he feels.

He’s not even going to remember you offering help, but he is going to remember you taking care of him. That high fever makes most of him being sick on the first day very fuzzy. He does recall Vil checking in on him and then getting a doctor, and then later you came over and saw his state. By the second day when he’s no longer suffering from his fever, he’ll be a lot happier to have you around. He’ll be calling you all sorts of pet names and adoring every moment he gets to see you, calling you the perfect spouse even if you’re not romantically involved in the slightest.

He will happily take anything you give him, even the most foul tasting liquids. He’ll say it tastes heavenly just because you prepared it for him, and be thanking you as he takes it. He won’t even make a reaction to visibly show disgust, just a smile as he puts it down. He’ll then be asking if you’d like to sit and stay for a while so he won’t be so lonesome. He does worry about you getting sick, but as long as you’re not sitting on the bed and are a safe distance away, he’ll love to have your company. He’ll be babbling away about stories from his childhood to help pass the time until he falls asleep.

Oh? You made him something? Perhaps getting sick every so often is worth it if it means he gets to have a come cooked meal delivered directly to his bed. Of course he’s going to adore whatever you make him and not think twice about what’s actually in it. He’ll be singing your praises to the moon and back, even if it’s not super tasty. Really it’s the thought and effort that you put into it that has him singing praise; if it happens to taste good that’s just a bonus.

Once he’s better you’ll be bombarded with compliments and small presents. Sitting in class is always interesting when random arrows impale themselves into your desk with a small poem about how heroic you were to save a damsel in distress like him while he was sick and dying. He’s dramatic, of course, but he’s truthful. He really appreciated all the time and effort you spent to help nurse him back to help, and he swears one day he’ll return the favor ten fold.

Epel Felmier

Epel is the definition of “I’m fine” when he’s clearly not. As someone who grew up on a farm, he never sought medical treatment unless his grandma was dragging him in. Things were always too busy and he didn’t have time to take away from his chores. So unless he’s dying or someone he knows is dragging his ass to the nurse, he’ll just go about his day. Sadly for Epel, he lives in Pomefiore with Vil who notices every nuance. The moment he gets sick Vil is dragging him to the nurse and getting him on some medication and forcing him to rest in bed.

He doesn’t need help at all…or so he says. Really, it’s just a slight cough and a runny nose, nothing to worry about. He could still go to class like this actually, but sadly Vil won’t let him. If you insist enough he’ll allow it though, one thing he does remember growing up was how kind his grandma always was when taking care of him while sick. It’s going to warm his heart and he’ll be thanking you for taking care of him. He won’t be too fussy either, letting you do whatever you think he might need.

Okay now this is where he draws the line; he cannot stand medicine. Even at home he rarely ever took it since it was never serious, so having you telling him he has to is blasphemous. He’s going to try and negotiate so he doesn’t have to take it, but he knows it’s a losing battle. If he doesn’t take it from you, then Vil is going to be forcing it onto him one way or another. Better to just let you hand it to him so it’s more pleasant, right?

Now he can get behind this, nothing beats a good home cooked meal when you’re feeling sick. Hand him some chicken noodle soup and he’s a happy boy. Suddenly being sick and having you take care of him is all worth it. He won’t comment that it isn’t up to par with granny though, everyone knows that Grandma’s make the best soups when you’re sick. Something about it heals the mind and soul, but yours does come pretty close. If it’s from a can, just don’t say anything and ruin the illusion. Although honestly if Vil saw you bringing a canned soup to Epel while he’s sick, he'd grab it and force you to the kitchen for a cooking lesson.

Vil is making him go to your dorm with a handwritten thank you note; and his grandma probably sent him some apple juice to give to you as well. He’s a bit embarrassed when he comes in with all the things, but loosens up when you tell him all is good. He’ll insist that he’ll help you if you ever get sick though, and will probably stay over to enjoy a bottle of apple juice and maybe leave behind a perfectly carved apple. It’s the little things that make a difference. 

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

The Fixed Cup

He thought for sure things had settled down between him and Eddie after Vecna. He thought maybe he and Eddie could finally be friends, but how could he be friends with someone so annoying? Steve hoped that once their bat bites healed, they would stop bitching at each other. . . Boy, was he wrong. It's like everything about Eddie set him on edge, and it didn't help that they were stuck in this quarantine that the government had set up for them. Luckily, it was in their own houses, and Eddie was lucky enough to get stuck in his.

"I swear to God, Robin, I'm going to kill him," Steve complained into the receiver. "I mean it this time, and it will be self-defense too because I think he's also trying to kill me. If I trip over his shoes one more time. . ."

"Hmm, well, like I said before, I'm not helping you bury the body," Robin said casually.

"Aw, come on, big boy, it's so much fun watching you clean up after me," Eddie taunted from the other line.

"Get off the other line, Eddie! Goddamnit!" Steve cursed.

"Well, then, how else will I find out what you and Robbie say about me?" Eddie said.

"Well, I think you're a lovely person, Eddie," Robin said.

"Well, I'm glad someone thinks so," Eddie replied.

"Robin!" Steve whined.

"Just keeping you on your toes, Steve," Robin said. "Well, as much fun as this is. . .I'm going to call Vickie."

The line went dead, and Steve scowled before slamming the phone back on the hook. He ran down into the kitchen to find Eddie giggling at the island.

"Munson! You're such an asshole! You know I only have a certain amount of time to talk to her! Why the fuck do you have to do that?" Steve asked.

"The more you keep letting me know it bothers you. . .the more I'm going to do it," Eddie cackled. "It's fun riling you up."

Steve let out a holler and started chasing him around the kitchen. Eddie ran out laughing.

"Dick!"

Of course, it was mostly Eddie who enjoyed taunting him, but there were times that Eddie would get as annoyed with him as Steve did with Eddie himself.

"I told you I don't want to watch some dumb laundry basket game!" Eddie yelled as he grabbed for the remote.

"And I don't want to watch some stupid nerdy cartoon!" Steve yelled as he yanked back the remote.

"You're a douchebag!" He screamed.

"Oh, like you're one to talk!" Steve screamed back.

Eddie shrieked and dove on top of him. Of course, they would wrestle around with it for a while until their wounds gave them no choice but to collapse on the floor in exhaustion. They were mostly healed but still not healed enough. Steve’s not sure what it was. Maybe it was the fact that they were stuck here together with no one else. Maybe they missed their friends, Eddie missing his uncle, or maybe it was the fact that neither one of them could stop the nightmares that came every night. They were on edge all the time, whenever they were around each other. Sometimes, they just crossed the line.

"Eddie!" Steve exclaimed. "That's not a cup you drink out of! There's a sign!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, is the peasant living in King Steve’s house supposed to drink out of the poor cups?!" Eddie exclaimed as he slammed the cup down.

Of course, slamming it down on the table caused it to shatter.

"It's my grandmother's!" Steve said through gritted teeth.

"I'm sure your mommy and daddy can buy your granny another one," Eddie rolled his eyes.

"She hand-made that," Steve said, his eyes glittering with tears.

"And she can't make another one?" Eddie asked.

"It's kind of hard to do anything when you're dead," Steve snapped.

"Shit, man, I'm so - ," Eddie started to say but was startled when Steve slammed him against the wall like Eddie did that day in the boat house.

"I wish I never - " and Steve stopped himself.

"What? Saved my life?" Eddie asked, bristling.

Steve stared at him, gripping the collar of his shirt, and for once, he didn't know what to say. Eddie pushed him off of him and stormed upstairs. They didn't speak to each other for days after that. Steve thought it would be a blessing, but he found that he missed the sound of Eddie's voice. Steve had woken up in the middle of the night, after struggling to go to sleep, and walked into the kitchen to find Eddie gluing the cup back together.

"Almost as good as new," Eddie said, and Steve found himself smiling. "I mean, I wouldn't drink out of it. . ."

"Maybe I can use it as a pencil holder," Steve said and paused. "Thanks. . .and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. . ."

"I know. I'm sorry, too, man," Eddie said softly.

"I know that it doesn't seem like it, but I'm glad I'm stuck here with you," Steve said.

"Yeah?" Eddie asked and he nodded. "Back at ya."

And for a little bit, it seemed like they were almost getting along until. . .

"I didn't ask you to clean my room, Harrington. You're not my goddamn mommy," Eddie snapped.

"It was driving me crazy!" Steve exclaimed. "Just like you do! I'm sorry if I didn't want you to trip in the middle of the night!"

"You don't have to worry about me, Harrington! I can look after myself, thanks!" Eddie growled.

"It's hard to tell! You couldn't even follow simple instructions! All you had to do was follow the plan. Instead, I find you almost dying in Dustin's goddamn arms!" Steve yelled.

Eddie screamed and pushed Steve up against the wall, pressing his body up against his. They were so close that their noses were almost touching. Eddie pinned Steve’s hand above his head.

"Shut up!"

"Fucking make me."

Eddie growled again before slamming his lips to Steve’s. His eyes widened before he melted into the kiss, moaning into Eddie's mouth. He nibbled on Eddie's lip before swiping his tongue over it and slipping into his mouth. Steve felt his body move on his own and freed himself from Eddie's grasp. He pushed Eddie back onto the bed before ripping off his shirt in a quick single motion, dropping it onto the floor. Eddie was propped up on his elbows, waiting for him. The realization hit him in that moment. . .Holy shit, he just made out with a guy! It wasn't long before Eddie made that same realization, and he looked just as startled as Steve felt. Leaving his shirt behind, Steve quickly ran out of the room. They quickly avoided each other, and not talking seemed to last longer than the cup incident.

"Robin - ," Steve croaked on the phone when he picked up.

"Jesus. You sound like shit," Robin said. "Did you and Eddie get into it?"

"Something like that," Steve said. "I wish I could tell you, but it's not just my place to say."

"I swear to God, I'm willing to risk breaking quarantine. Do I need to come over there?" Robin asked. "Did Eddie do something that requires me to kick his ass? Because as much as I like him, I'll kick his ass if he actually hurt you."

"Eddie didn't do anything wrong. I think I just realized something is all," Steve said and paused. "I kind of wished we were on the floor of the bathroom for this. . .Do you think that it's possible to like girls and also like guys?"

"Oh, dingus," Robin said softly, her voice full of love. "Anything is possible. Especially that. So, you don't actually hate Eddie?"

"Turns out. . . Not so much. . .not at all, actually. I don't think I ever hated him," Steve admitted. "What do I do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do? Do you want to do something about it, or do you want to fill out the rest of your life full of regrets? You told me to go for Vickie, and you were right. Sometimes, things do work out for the best," Robin said.

"I want to do something about it," Steve said.

"Go get your man, Steve," Robin said with a grin.

Of course, actually doing something about it was harder than he thought. Steve had chickened out a couple of times. His house made it easy for them to avoid each other, and when they did come together, it was completely awkward silence. They didn't even fight over the remote anymore. Steve missed the sound of his voice even more now. What was it going to be like when the quarantine was over? Nothing happened until Steve woke up from a nightmare, went downstairs, and broke down crying in the kitchen. The kitchen light flickered on.

"Steve?" Eddie asked, and Steve jumped.

"I'm fine," Steve sniffled.

"You don't sound fine, man," Eddie said. "Nightmare?"

As soon as Eddie touched his shoulder, Steve burst into tears again and hugged Eddie around the waist.

"You were dead. You were dead and I was alone in this house again," Steve sobbed.

"Oh, sweetheart," Eddie said, running his hand through his hair. "You've got me no matter what. I'm here."

"Would you still be here if I told you that I'm starting to fall in love with you?" Steve asked and pulled back, his hands on Eddie's hips.

"Even more so, big boy," Eddie said, cupping his face.

He stepped in between Steve’s legs and leaned down to kiss him, falling into Steve’s lap. The kiss was short and sweet. . .getting its point across perfectly.

"I'm starting to fall for you too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You want to come to bed with me? Keep the nightmares away?" Steve asked.

"Absolutely."

Eddie took his hand, and together, they walked upstairs. When the quarantine finally ended, Robin was the first one through the door. Steve was at the stove, making breakfast.

"Please, tell me you settled things with Eddie," Robin said.

"Nope! Still hate the guy! Thought for a moment that there was something else, but I was wrong! The man is just so goddamn annoying - " Steve ranted.

"Steve! Are you fucking serious?" Robin asked.

Suddenly, Eddie pounced into the room wearing Steve’s yellow sweater and one sock.

"No, but he is fucking me. We worked things out, Robbie," Eddie said, kissing Steve.

Steve giggled against Eddie's lips as Robin yelled in frustration.

"Assholes!" Robin exclaimed and plopped down at the island. "So, tell me everything."

"Hm, everything? You want all the gory details of Steve railing me so hard into his mattress that he nearly breaks his back?" Eddie asked.

"Eddie, don't scar my best friend!"

"What can I tell her? Oooh! He likes holding hands during sex," Eddie said.

"Aww."

"Eddie!"

Steve rolled his before smiling fondly and kissing Eddie.

"Aww, what happened to your grandma's cup, Steve?" Robin asked.

"Don't worry about it, Robin, it's all fixed now. . ."

[lizardsfromspace]

Ben Chatham was too niche to ever become known outside one forum but it's the My Immortal of Doctor Who. It was a series starring the writer's self-insert companion, Ben Chatham, and I guess it started with his fanfic version of series 2 (not sure if it's still online anywhere, but there's a summary), where Jackie dies of cancer bc the author thought chavs shouldn't be allowed on Doctor Who & the Doctor murders a hamster. His stories are full of random grim moments, and no one is ever heroic, since everyone just dies until UNIT can save the day. Ben Chatham is gay and a military-loving Tory. He reintroduced Adam and Jack over the course of the season bc he didn't like writing women doing or saying things and bc he felt Rose was too lower class to be allowed on television

I think I first learned about him when he posted his pitch for Matt Smith's first story:

"Martha Jones is walking down the cobbled street of the Cornish village of Little Bampton towards the local Inn, pondering why UNIT had sent her to investigate the strange sightings nearby and disappearances. Since entering into full time investigative work for UNIT in the UK following the events of Journey’s End she had never been so bored by a case. Nothing has happened in the three weeks that she had been in the village and she found the locals distasteful and she suspected some of the older ones were rather prejudiced.

Suddenly there is a familiar sound and she sees the TARDIS materialise in front of her. She grins excitedly as the door is flung open: “DOCTOR……….OH” she shouts as instead of the Doctor, a slip youth with floppy hair emerges, dressed in jeans and a casual jacket. “Who are you? Wheres the Doctor” she exclaims. “Hey babe, I’m like the Doctor. I’ve regenerated like. Wow its great to see you again. Wicked!”Martha is perturbed:

“But you’re so….. So much younger.” “Yay its great to be a kid again. I’m like so gonna get a myspace page. You look great in that jacket babe, I’ve like SO got the hots for you. Hows about we get up close and personal on the TARDIS double bed.” The Doctor coyly lets his floppy hair descend over his eyes."

There's a lot going on here, but my fave parts are picturing Matt Smith saying "Hey babe, I'm like the Doctor" and the fact that Martha internally refers to the events of Journey's End as the events of Journey's End. I've accepted ever since that Martha Jones can sense episode titles; she was just out there living her life until she suddenly sees a vortex and the words "THE STOLEN EARTH" floating in the air and groans at having to do this again

Also, in the Chatham canon, Martha hates going on adventures and loves to whine and do nothing. Just like everyone else. Meanwhile the Eleventh Doctor is a horny freak who wants to fuck and post to MySpace. Both of them despise poor people

This story also features the Russian mob whose leader, named Ivan, has henchmen named Ivan, bc he could only think of one Russian name.

Was the writer of this serious or a troll? We will never know. Certainly he was surrounded by trolls. He got an entire subforum quarantining promoting his stories, and there were fanfics of his fanfic, made by trolls whose sincerity was also, for many years, in doubt (they were trolls)

What we do know is that the writer repeatedly insisted it was canon, and wrote a letter to Doctor Who Magazine demanding more coverage of his OC. They sent him a lengthier letter he posted on forum but in the magazine all they said was

"Er…who?"

Which just about sums it up

[discluded]

My Top 10 memorable 2022 MileApo moments 💚💛

In no particular order,

Mile defending Apo and telling him he's not weird. Mile Phakphum #1 apocolleague #1 Apo defender #1 Apo protector 😖

2. Whatever they put in the water that day at the XBlush shoot 🥴

3. The Moon Represents My Heart at KPWT Taipei (curse you one video per post Tumblr limit). The audible gasp and excitement from the audience when they realized what song it was!!!

4. MileApo at the Vogue Thailand Gala. Everything about them and how beautiful they were... Mile had just gotten out of COVID isolation #2 and now they had a Vogue spread and were mingling with the movers and shakers of the Thai ent industry. Also specifically these boyfriend soft launch selfies 😖

5. Paper Mile at the KPWT send off. This one was bittersweet and making the best of a bad situation... Apo was doing his best to have Mile be included but even Apo was not his usual sparkly self. The appearance of paper Mile per the request of quarantined Mile really put the smile back on his face.

6. Sharing dessert and water in the Red Sea Film Festival IGL

7. Apo taking this sexy photo of Mile in Phuket and immediately being exposed as the photographer. Thank you @ apovision for God's work and thank you @/may for exposing them.

8. Mile replying to this tweet. Yeah it's a tweet. Yeah he interacts with many fan tweets. But trust me, this is the one that made all of us deranged. It's the reason why I'm deranged now. I think about this all the time.

9. Mile and Apo kissing live at KPWT Bangkok. I'm just going to make peace with the fact that we're likely never gonna see another live kiss at a KPWT show again. But we got this one.

10. Holding up the pride flag together at KPWT Taipei. Wasn't Taipei beautiful!?! 😭 It was a beautiful moment for the entire cast and the audience, since it was Pride Week in Taipei 🌈

Bonus: 11. Meeting all of you 🥰💕 Yeah I'm sappy as heck, what are you gonna do about it.

If you've ever sent me an anon or liked or reblogged one of my posts or followed me or stalk my blog but don't have a Tumblr or written fic or drawn fanart or written meta or made gifs or made edits or trended for MileApo, thank you for making fandom a fun place. If you've learned anything new about yourself or the world or changed your perspective in life because of anything I reblogged, I'm glad something I said or did affected you 🥰

We often talk about about when being in fandom is annoying, but really, it's a community. If you've stayed, thanks for embracing respecting each other and loving KinnPorsche and loving Mile and Apo and the people in their lives (which includes all of us!)

Maybe the real MileApo was the friends we made along the way 🥹🥹🥹 (Mile would agree because he is equally sappy like me).

Many other beautiful memories I wanted to include... but I loved these so much. It was hard picking favorites, but I'm gonna 😤

Bonus runners up:

Looking like a royal couple at their first fan meet

KPWT Seoul date (are you going to give us the video or not BOC...)

Apo lifting Mile in the KPWT Taipei behind the scenes video

Mile discretely rubbing Apo's waist underneath his suit jacket at the D7 event 🤭🤭🤭

KPWT Taipei goodbye (x2)

(alright no more for real or else I'm gonna be here all day)

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 5

Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she knows for a fact that anything involving Harry gets messy.

Chapter Summary: Things are changing, for the entire world, so Harry and Cassidy navigate their friendship through the new situation that everyone now finds themselves in. Will things ever be the same as they were?

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, Covid-19, lockdowns & quarantines, mild injury, potential jealousy, wine consumption

[ present - March 2020 ]

With her phone held in front of her face, Cassidy quickly scans the vicinity of the room, through the door frame, making sure Cecelia is not within earshot.

"At least half of the country is on edge." She states quietly, eyes still glancing around to look out for her toddler. The little one doesn't need to hear or sense any concern that is present in their current conversation.

"It's the same here. The new travel ban isn't helping." Harry replies, sighing as he dips his head down. "It's the uncertainty of things. No one knows what's going to happen. It's as if the future is hazy."

"Hopefully it's nothing to be too concerned with." She responds, yet feeling a mild tightness in her chest. Just like Harry said, it's the uncertainty that worries her.

"On to a more positive subject, if things settle down, are you doing anything for Mother's Day? It's in a few weeks, yeah?"

Cassidy's shoulders raise in a shrug, an odd and solemn feeling rushing over her. She's never truly celebrated the holiday. When she was younger, her father obviously never did anything for her mum. Not anything good, anyway. Cassidy tried to do fun things with her, but it wasn't much. When she became a mum herself, there wasn't another person in the home besides her baby girl, so no one else was there to share in the traditional festivities of the day. Not that she wanted a big fuss anyway. Besides, this is the first year that Cecelia is even remotely aware that there is anything special about it. Needless to say, it has yet to be anything but another day of the week up until this point, so she hasn't thought to do anything specific.

"I don't know. It's like Valentine's Day, we'll probably just keep it simple."

"Nope." Harry states with a strong shake of his head. "I'm texting my mum."

"Don't you dare, Harry!" Cassidy exclaims, wishing she could reach through the screen to stop his plan from going any further, whatever it may be.

"You can't just do nothing for Mother's Day, Cass! You're a good mum! You should do something!"

"Harry, I swear to god-"

"Too late!" He proclaims triumphantly, that smug little smirk appearing immediately. Cassidy gives him the most intense glare she possibly can, hoping he can feel it somehow on the other end of the video chat.

"I hate you."

"That's not very nice…" He pouts, causing him to receive an eye roll of an unamused nature. "May I please talk to Cece? She's much more pleasant."

"Yeah, well, that's because she actually likes you." Cassidy quips, mimicking his mischievous smirk to add to her sarcastic insult.

"Hey…" Harry states. "Bloody hell. You're a grump today…"

Cassidy chews on the corner of her bottom lip. She knows she's being a bit too snappy. She isn't meaning to. All the talk, and worry, about this new virus that is spreading rapidly, it's getting to her a bit more than she expected. It doesn't help that she just started her menstrual cycle, and that Cecelia woke up multiple times during the night with a sudden onset of bad dreams.

"Sorry about that." She sighs, looking up to her phone, finding Harry's eyes attempting to flicker over her features through the video call. "It's just that things aren't really going very well today."

"Do you… you don't have to… but do you want to talk about it?"

Much to her annoyance, Cassidy cannot help the small flutter in her stomach at his concern and willingness to help. It hasn't even been that long but he really has become one of her closest friends.

"It's…" She chuckles, feeling just slightly awkward enough to stop herself before talking to him about her physical female issues. "Woman stuff."

"Ah. Okay." Harry responds, nodding as if he understands exactly what she means. Though, he might. He grew up with two women in the household, and has obviously dated a number of them too. Even still, it's not something she's willing to go into detail about.

"Also, Cece didn't sleep well last night." Her lips tense together in an awkward smile, and Harry presents a more sincere pout at the new information.

"That's no good." He replies, a slightly sad tone to his words.

"I'm sure she really would love to talk to you, actually." She admits, no longer with her comical demeanor.

"Alright. Send me over to her." He smiles, causing Cassidy to do the same.

She gets up from the edge of her bed, walking into the living room where she, of course, finds her daughter colouring across multiple pages of paper.

"Hey Bug, Harry wants to say hi."

Cecelia immediately drops her crayons and bounces in her place on the floor, waiting for her mum to bring over the phone. Cassidy giggles at her daughter's excitement and looks at her phone to switch the camera view for Harry to see the little girl's anticipation.

Suddenly, she is halted and instantly feels a shooting pain through her foot, originating from her pinky toe. Her hands fly up and she turns around to watch in agony as her phone lifts into the air and then falls onto the floor, smacking down against the tile in the kitchen.

"Oh for fu-... for crying out loud!" She shouts, holding back the true words she wants to release, for the sake of setting a good example for her daughter.

"Umm… hello? What happened? It's dark over here." She hears Harry say as she wobbles over and retrieves her device. "Are… are you alright?"

"I stubbed my damn toe." She growls, turning it over to find the back camera cracked all the way through. Shattered would be a better description. "And the camera is broken."

"Is it salvageable?"

"I doubt it. I can't do much about it anyway. I don't have the time right now to get a new one. Figures." She sighs, grinding her teeth down enough to feel pain in her jaw. She is usually better at handling or at least hiding her frustration, but her hormones and lack of sleep, as well as everything going on in the world, have just built up inside and this was the thing to tip her over. "Nothing is going my way today."

For some reason, she brushes off the phone, as if the dusting off would solve her problems, and then walks back over to Cecelia, whose eyes are wide open, clearly trying to use her three year old brain power to understand what just unfolded in front of her.

"Is Harry still on da phone?" Cecelia asks, her face changing to one ready for disappointment.

"Yes he is." Her mum replies, flipping the camera view back to face her, handing the device over to her daughter, and plopping down onto the sofa behind her.

"Harry!"

"Hello Cece!" He exclaims back, with just as much enthusiasm as he received. "What are you doing today?"

As Cecelia lifts up each of her drawings to proudly show them off, Cassidy examines her now throbbing toe, discovering the nail half snapped off, and she grimaces at the pain.

She leans forward and rests her elbows on her thighs, pinching her nose between her finger and thumb, squeezing her eyes shut. This isn't the worst thing to happen to her, and it isn't the worst day she's ever had. Not even close. Quite a few from her childhood could easily win that title. But, the sense of feeling overwhelmed still manages to hit her hard, and tears begin to sit on her lower lash line.

"Yeah, but Mummy helped-ed me when I had da bad d'eams."

"You have a very good mum." Harry states, causing Cassidy's head to snap up, seeing his gaze switch between her and Cecelia. His subtle smile pulls her out from the downward spiral of negativity, just enough to straighten her posture.

"She's da best mummy ever!" Her daughter exclaims, and Cassidy's eyes begin to water again, forming out of gratitude now instead of helplessness.

"Could you give the phone back to your mum, please?"

"Yeah, 'kay. Buh-bye Harry!" Cecelia waves to the forward facing camera, thankfully still working for this interaction, and hands the phone back to Cassidy. She quickly swipes a finger over each cheek, clears her throat, and lifts up the device to be in full view of the man on the other end.

"Cass, are you sure you're okay?" He asks, so much compassion in his voice that even the hardest of hearts would not be able to reject it. She's almost positive that statement would have changed her mind about him when they were younger. Possibly.

"I'll be alright." She replies, unsure of the honesty behind her answer, but certain that she does not want to burden him with any of these minimal problems.

"I'm here to help if you need me, okay? Well, I'm here, in Los Angeles, but the sentiment still remains." He chuckles, and Cassidy cannot hold back the small laugh she instinctively lets out.

"Thank you." She replies, knowing his generous heart, and not being one to hold back from doing what he can for a friend.

"No problem. But I should get going, and get a bit of sleep."

"Wait… what time is it there…?"

Harry pulls his lips inward, tightly, and closes his eyes, being accompanied by a subtle shake of his head.

"Harry…"

"It's 1 in the morning." He utters, scrunching up his face with the admission.

"Oh my god, Harry! We wouldn't have rung if we knew what time it was there! Why did you answer the phone in the middle of the night?"

"I couldn't ignore a call from one of my best friends, and her mum!"

"Piss off. You're horrible!"

"And you're still a grump. G'night!"

Cassidy rolls her eyes and watches Harry give a quick wink before reaching in front of him and ending the call. She locks the screen and reaches to place it in her pocket when she feels a notification cause her phone to buzz. She brings it back around and opens her messages to see a couple of texts from Anne.

🗨️ Anne: come over on mother's day

🗨️ Anne: and that's non-negotiable

"Oh for fucks sake." She whispers. "I'm going to kill him."

•••

Curled up on the couch in a blanket, fingers tapping away on the laptop sitting on her thighs, Cassidy groans at the sudden rapping at the front door. The thought crosses her mind to ignore the stranger on the other side, but the knocking continues, so she figures an answer to their persistence will shut it down sooner.

She angrily swings the door open, ready to scowl at the intrusion, when she is halted by the sight of her best friend.

"Bloody hell, CJ!" Gemma exclaims, her eyes wide. "Why weren't you answering the door?"

"I was trying to avoid the annoying person who was interrupting my day." Cassidy chuckles, feeling thankful it was simply her friend, and slightly guilty that she didn't respond to her sooner.

"Annoying?" Her friend drops her jaw in disbelief. "Bit rude considering I brought you some coffee!"

Cassidy's eyes travel down to the to-go cups in her friend's hands, and can already feel the warmth of the drink inside.

"Just let me in and then drink this immediately, for fucks sake." Gemma adds, bringing Cassidy's eyes back up as she opens the door.

Gemma makes her way in and directly over to the sofa, instantly settling herself in as Cassidy takes a seat to the side of her.

"So, what's up?" She asks, taking a sip of beverage she has just been handed.

"I can't just visit my best friend?" Gemma replies.

Cassidy immediately lets out a laugh. Despite loving to spend as much time together as they can, and do, she knows her friend too well to ignore the expression all over her features.

"Not when your face looks like that!" Cassidy points out. Gemma opens her mouth in dramatic fashion, attempting to portray offense at Cassidy's assumption of ulterior motives.

"Fine. I heard that you're spending Mother's Day with me and Mum…" Gemma states. Cassidy subtly grumbles at Harry's sneaky plan to get her to celebrate the holiday. She definitely plans to give him a few words about inconveniencing his own family, just to get her out of the house. "I was hoping you could help me figure out what I can get for her."

"Shit." She responds, thankful that her daughter is currently at daycare and not within earshot of the curse words that just have, and will most likely continue, to be uttered during their conversation.

"Right? Why is she so difficult to buy for?" Gemma whines, pouting as if she were a toddler herself, again.

"She's just always so fucking generous that she never wants or asks for anything for herself."

The pair laugh at the notion of complaining about how selfless Anne is, though they love her for it. Cassidy likes to think that Cecelia's contentment for anything and everything she receives has come from the influence of that wonderful woman. Neither Anne nor Cecelia care too much about what they have or are doing, as long as it's with the people closest to them, which sparks a small idea.

"Why don't we treat her to a fancy afternoon tea time somewhere?" Cassidy perks up with excitement, one she can actually get on board with if the celebration must include herself. "She's always wanted to go to Claridge's, right?"

"Yes! That's perfect!" Gemma exclaims, pulling her phone out swiftly and bringing it in front of her. "I'm going to tell Harry so he can pitch in."

"You're making him contribute? He's not even here." Cassidy chuckles.

"So? She is his mum too… and I'm pretty sure his bank account can handle it."

Her statement is true, and Cassidy is once again reminded of just how big a star her friend Harry is. It boggles her mind that she grew up with him, that she actually grew up with the now famous Harry Styles, because she still doesn't really think of him that way unless and until it's brought to her attention in certain situations. But, she realizes that as his career continues growing, his celebrity status is a fact that is becoming more and more prominent to her.

Cassidy takes another sip of her coffee and a sudden knock at the door causes both of them to immediately snap their attention towards that direction.

"I have no idea who that could be…" She states, turning back to her friend as if Gemma would have more of a clue.

"So then answer the bloody door, CJ." Gemma chuckles, rolling her eyes as her thumbs type out a message on her phone.

She gets up, hastily making her way over, and opens the door to find a man standing in front of her with a decent sized box in his hands.

"Miss James? Miss Cassidy James?" The man asks, and as she looks over his attire, she notices that he doesn't appear as someone who usually makes deliveries.

"Umm… yes, that's me…" She responds timidly, only leaving the door open enough to view the stranger on the other side.

"Excellent. I have a package here for you from Mr. Styles." He explains, lifting the box in full view with a pleased smile on his face.

"I'm sorry, what?"

The man looks down to the object in his hands, glancing over the information typed out on the printed label.

"Mr. Styles asked me to deliver this to you as soon as it arrived." The man clears his throat, which causes Cassidy to shift in place. "He said that he didn't want just anyone to bring it to you and to personally make sure you received it."

Her mouth opens slightly but her brain seems to be unable to form words. Without her ability to function normally, she gives the man a simple nod to thank him, retrieving the box through the doorway.

"Have a good day, miss." He states, responding with his own nod and a smile as he walks away, and Cassidy closes the door behind him.

As she makes her way back to the sofa, her expression immediately turns into confusion, and her curiosity begins to heighten. She is completely unsure as to what Harry could have sent her way, especially considering he is held up in an entirely different country.

"What in the-?"

"Just open it! I want to know what's inside!" Gemma squeals, bouncing in her spot much like something Cecelia does quite often when she is excited.

"You don't know?"

A simple head shake from her friend gives her the boost of interest to grab the mysterious package and pull it into her lap.

She looks to the small table to the side of the couch, quickly finding a pair of scissors that are just sharp enough to cut the tape. A few snips and the box is free to reveal what's inside. Cassidy gives a quick look to her friend, finding comedy in the giddiness they both suddenly begin to feel.

She pries open the top, reaching in and pulling out a box of chocolates. It's not something that needed to be sent to her or delivered by a man in a nice coat, but nonetheless, she won't complain.

The sweets are set next to her as she brings her attention to something else she seems to have been gifted. As her eyes meet the item inside, shock takes over the function of her body, as well as inhibiting any words to leave her lips, yet again.

"Well…?" Gemma asks impatiently, leaning forward and peering to get a view for herself. "A phone? Why did he send you a phone?"

Cassidy's focus shoots over to a paper flush against the side and pulls it out to find a note from the man in question.

CHOCOLATES TO FIX THE ATTITUDE PROBLEM AND A NEW PHONE TO FIX THE CAMERA ISSUE.

- H

"I'm seriously going to kill him." She whispers to herself, not knowing if Gemma was aware of the sentence she just spoke.

"I agree with the attitude problem. You've been quite moody. I suppose that's understandable though." Gemma jokes, pushing her shoulder against Cassidy. "But what's wrong with your phone?"

She lifts herself enough to pull the device out of her pocket, handing it over as she continues to glance over the new one now in her hands, removing the plastic from the outside container.

"Yeah, this camera is done for." Gemma states, placing the broken phone into the box in replace of the updated version. "How did Harry know that you needed a new one?"

Cassidy suddenly feels a miniscule version of something she experienced a long time ago. Something she felt after both times that she and Harry had sex. Nerves. And a dose of guilt. Yet, it's a ridiculous thing to be feeling. This is not the same situation in the slightest. She and Harry are friends, and that's all. And what's more, Gemma knows they are friends. Unlike her lack of awareness of the other incidents. It has to be residual effects from the past, because there is absolutely nothing for her to be worried about.

"We were on a video call when it happened." She replies, finally taking her eyes from her gift and landing them on her best friend, being met with a mildly inquisitive, raised brow.

"Oh, okay." Gemma plainly responds, her simple answer reassuring Cassidy.

"Yeah, me and Cece. I hurt my foot and dropped my phone." She shakes her head in remembrance of the event that felt so tragic when she was in the middle of it. "I told him I couldn't get a new one yet. Apparently he took it upon himself to do just that."

"He's that kind of guy." Her friend explains with a shrug, as if it's something Cassidy should automatically know. But then again, that's all she has been experiencing from him since their friendship started, so she truthfully shouldn't be surprised.

"He didn't need to do this." She utters, still having the instinct to turn down the kind gesture.

"He knows that. But it's not going to stop him. He takes care of his friends and family."

"I'm becoming very aware of that fact." Cassidy exhales with a single, subtle sound of a laugh.

"I'm just glad you two are finally getting along."

The surprise of the comment causes Cassidy's heart to stop along with her breath.

"What?"

Gemma turns her body towards her, rolling her eyes at the question she was just asked, as if the answer should be obvious.

"You two were insufferable around each other when we were kids."

"Well, I mean, he-"

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Harry was definitely a major pest, still is at times to be honest. But, come on, you were exactly the nicest to him either." Gemma explains, and Cassidy can all but keep from readjusting in her seat. "I guess I just thought you both would grow up and grow out of it, and end up… ummm, you know, being friends. Eventually. Or at least not hating each other!"

Flashbacks flood Cassidy's mind as she remembers back to their childhood. Not once did she think that her friend felt anything but the same annoyance that she herself felt.

"Shit. I'm sorry, Gem."

Her friend raises a hand to wave off the apology, as if it wasn't needed, though Cassidy feels otherwise.

"Yeah, well. It was only torture for me, for about twenty years…" She thankfully giggles, helping Cassidy's sudden guilt to lessen in intensity. "So just stay friends for an equal amount of time, at least, and we will call it even."

The thought of being Harry's friend for that long causes Cassidy's stomach to tighten and her lungs to inhale a deep breath. It's a reaction she wasn't prepared for, and one that's indiscernible at the moment. Although, she can acknowledge that it isn't of a negative nature.

"Be around Harry for that long?" She smirks, looking back down to the new phone just gifted to her by the man himself. "I can't make any promises. I already want to clobber him for this!"

•••

The bouncing of her leg does not help the impatience she feels as she waits for the call to be answered from the other end. She double checks the time, hoping that her calculations are correct, and that she can catch Harry as his morning begins.

Suddenly, the ringtone from the video call disappears and her gaze is met by a tousle-haired Harry.

"Oh my god. Did I wake you up?" She immediately questions, her heart racing with worry that she may have disrupted his sleep.

"No. Not at all." He chuckles, a coffee mug being brought up to his lips, covering up the small smile that has appeared at her exasperated question. "And good morning…"

"Good morning." She replies with a sigh of relief, and she notices the smile still stuck on his face when it is revealed to her again. "Umm… I wanted to give you a quick ring to thank you."

"No problem." He quickly states, with a raise of his eyebrow immediately following his words. "Wait, thank me for what?"

Cassidy can't tell if he truly doesn't understand what she is referring to, or if he is arrogantly playing dumb to get her to elaborate, but either way she feels a mild sense of embarrassment creep out onto her cheeks.

"For the chocolates, of course." She jokes, holding up the box that already has half of it's contents consumed. "But mostly for the phone. Harry, you-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." He interrupts, sternly but somehow also sweetly.

"Right. I know. You like doing things for your friends. But come on, Harry. This is not the same as just cooking dinner for us…"

"You needed a new phone, Cass." He states, with a sincere yet still stern tone. "How else was I going to talk to Cece?"

"It was only that back camera that was broken."

"Not just that. Your phone was like one thousand years old. You needed an upgrade." He exclaims with a smirk.

"Coming from the guy who doesn't even use emojis." She jokingly scoffs, drawing out a loud laugh from the man on the other side of her screen.

"Fair enough." He simply replies, being followed by a poking out of his tongue. "Does it work, though? Do you like it?"

Cassidy blinks her eyes as if in disbelief at herself, truly realizing that she has only questioned his generosity, despite ringing to express her gratitude. But also disbelief due to his apparent insecurity about the gesture. Not only does he want to do this for her, but he also wants to make sure she's happy with it, and it's fully taken care of.

"It's great, Harry. Truly. Thank you so much." She responds, a warmth traveling up her neck. "The camera on this one is really good! I've taken so many photos of Cece already!"

Harry's expression brightens at her answer and the heat creeps further up to her face. It's the fact that he helped her, and her thankfulness, that are creating this reaction. As much as she's working on accepting all of this, it's still all new to them.

"You'll have to send me some." He mutters.

"Sure."

A silence falls upon them for a moment, a bit of flickering of their gazes from each person.

"So… do you have anything planned for the day?" Cassidy asks.

She notices him play with his bottom lip, and a more serious expression rapidly displaying across his face.

"Harry…?"

"Umm… yeah, I've got a meeting." He quietly states, and Cassidy senses a sadness in his tone. "Bit worried that I won't be able to tour this year…"

"Oh shit." Cassidy instantly feels her heart hurt for him. She's always known how much he loves that part of his job, and to potentially not be able to do it must be painting him more than he is showing. "I'm so sorry. I know how much touring means to you."

"It's not-..." He sighs, his fingers combing through his hair more than once. "It's not even about me. It's all the people who buy tickets… and flights… and hotel rooms to come see me. It's not fair to them."

Cassidy stays silent as she watches his gaze drop down in a preemptive defeat. She knows there is nothing she can really say to ease his worries. But he's there for her, and she'll be there for him. And if that means sitting in silence on the other end of a video call, that's what she will do. She'll be there for her friend.

•••

She doesn't know if she's ever been more grateful to have a new phone. With the new nationwide, and seemingly worldwide, lockdowns now in place due to the coronavirus, Cassidy has never felt more alone. Besides Cecelia, but there's only so much she can talk about with a 3 year old.

Needless to say, she has already used her phone more than ever before, especially for video chats with her friends. Particularly Harry. Because it seems that not even miles of separation nor a pandemic can break the bond he and Cecelia share.

"I wan' say g'night to Harry…" Cecelia pouts, as she nuzzles into her bed and under her quilt. Her little hands lift up to rub her eyes, deceitfully reassuring Cassidy of her daughter's need for slumber.

"I know, Bug. But it's very late at night for him. He's sleeping."

"M'kay…" The little girl mumbles, the sadness so evident in her tone that it tugs at her mother's heart.

"How about we send him a message, yeah? So he can wake up to it in the morning."

Cecelia's eyes light up as much as possible with the heaviness of the day, and Cassidy props herself up against the headboard.

🗨️ Cassidy: sorry about this being so late… cece wanted to ring you before bed but i told her we would message you to say goodnight… so, goodnight from cece.

"Okay. I told him." Cassidy simply states, locking her screen as she looks down to her daughter, stroking the girl's long locks.

"I miss Harry."

Cassidy's eyes instantly widen at Cecelia's words. She knows the bond they have, but it still manages to catch her off guard at random moments. Not in a negative way, just in how tight that bond is.

"I know you do. He's your friend." Cassidy replies.

"He's my best friend!" She explains, even with her sweetly sleepy voice. "Well, you first. And Emily at school. Harry is after. But… don' say dat part!"

Cassidy can't help but chuckle.

"Okay." She smiles, giving Cecelia one final kiss on her forehead and moving towards the bedroom door. "I won't. Goodnight Bug."

"G'night Mummy. Love you." A little, relaxed sigh leaves her lips.

"I love you, too."

Cassidy closes the door and makes her way back to the living room. She plops down and grabs the remote, letting her body sink into the couch cushions. She smiles as a thought crosses her mind. Despite the horrible things happening in the world, and the chaos that quarantine creates, she still has things to be thankful for. Things that aren't seeming to be affected by any of that negativity. Those things bring her comfort, which is more than welcome these days.

•••

With the sound from a rerun of 'The Great British Bake-off' playing in the background, Cassidy scrolls mindlessly on her phone, attempting to wind down from the day. A sudden buzz causes the device to drop into her lap from surprise, and as she picks it up, she is even more shocked to see that the vibrations are due to a phone call from Harry.

"Good morning!" He states as soon as she answers, not even waiting for her to speak. "Oh. Wait… guess it should be more of a 'good evening' greeting for you…"

"Yes." She quickly pulls the phone back from her ear and checks the time. "It's 9pm here.

"Shit. I'm sorry. Were you asleep?" He asks, his voice going quiet, as if he isn't thousands of miles away in a different country.

"No, no. Just watching the telly." She replies, swearing she can hear his relieved exhale on the other end of the line. "What time is it there?"

"Umm… let me see… it's 5 in the morning."

"Since when do you get up that early?" Cassidy laughs, covering her mouth immediately in hopes that she didn't wake Cecelia. She skipped her nap and really needs her sleep.

There's a pause in the conversation, and Cassidy looks at her screen once again, checking if the call has disconnected, only to find that he is still on the line.

"I haven't been sleeping the best, to be honest. Lockdown has that all out of whack." He mumbles, and it squeezes her chest tight. Everyone has been out of sorts these days. Quarantine is hard on each person in their own way.

"Hey, it's your X-Factor audition anniversary today, isn't it?" She asks, hoping to take him out of the negativity she can tell that he is sitting in. Maybe a good memory will do the trick.

"Umm... yes, it is... how do you remember that?"

Cassidy unintentionally lets out another loud laugh, bending over at her waist at the amount of comedy behind Harry's question, and the certainty of her impending answer.

"Are you joking?" She asks, doing her best to regain control of her breathing, and stay quiet for the sleeping toddler in the other room. "I think that date is ingrained in my brain forever! You wouldn't shut up about it after Anne signed you up!"

[ flashback - March 2010 ]

For the past several years of her childhood, Cassidy has been subjected to Harry's increasing levels of annoyingness. However, today she feels as if he may have reached his peak.

If she hadn't already heard the news from Gemma herself, it wouldn't have taken long for the information of Harry's upcoming X-Factor audition to be brought to her attention. It felt as if the entire school knew within a matter of minutes.

"Hey, Cass!" Harry shouts out from behind her, causing her to internally cringe at the sound of her name coming from his mouth. It can't mean anything good, at least not for her. It never does.

She stops in her tracks and twists around to find the young lad jogging up to her with a wide grin stretching across his face.

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what?" She asks, playing dumb, though quickly realizing it just creates the opportunity for him to brag, and she internally scolds herself.

"I'm gonna be famous!" He exclaims, and the arrogant statement causes Cassidy to unintentionally scoff. "Hey…"

"You don't even know if you'll be on camera." She replies, knowing full well that the crew will inevitably be drawn to his irritating charm that everyone seems to fall for.

"So you did hear…" His grin widens. "I don't care. I get to sing!"

"You sing all the bloody time!" She reminds him.

"Right. Exactly. People seem to like it. So, I want to see if the judges do too."

"I don't like your singing." She blurts out, not meaning to let her annoyance with him get the best of her and her words. Especially considering the statement wasn't exactly true, though she'd never openly admit that to him.

"That's rubbish… you sing along any time White Eskimo plays..."

"That's because I like the actual songs."

"You can come along… if you want…"

"What?"

"To my audition. You can come along if you want. Robin, Mum, and Gemma will be there."

Cassidy opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. Is he really inviting her? There's absolutely no reason for her to go, and definitely no reason for him to want her there. Unless it's to feed his growing ego. Maybe even use it as a way to 'prove' to his schoolmates that she 'loves' him, like he continues to lie about. The realization hits and manifests into a strong furrow of her brow.

"March 27th? I think I'll be busy that day."

"Marked it on your calendar already, did you?" His arrogant smirk immediately pulls his left dimple inward. "Might be the last time you get to see me…"

Cassidy cannot help the rolling of her eyes, even if the idea is quite shocking to think about. As her gaze focuses back on him, and sees his smug face, her desire to sass him back quickly reappears.

"Don't get my hopes up Harry."

[ present - March 2020 ]

"Hey, I was excited!" Harry exclaims, almost as if to verbally pout, as Cassidy chuckles at the memory.

"But I'm pretty sure you weren't supposed to tell anyone at that point. At least not the whole town!" Cassidy pulls her lips inward to hold back another loud laugh threatening to push out.

"I didn't ring you to be teased." He responds, a clear lightness to his tone.

"You should know better by now…" She teases again. "Why did you ring then?"

"I was told someone wanted to talk to me. But… I didn't realize what time it was for you."

Cassidy feels a little smile form with her mouth at the fact that he is so thoughtful to call Cecelia back, yet missing the slightly important detail of what time it is on the other side of the world.

"She just wanted to say goodnight to you."

"I miss that little one." He confesses, and she feels a warmth build up inside her chest. "I miss both of you, I suppose. When you aren't being a bully."

"First off…" Cassidy begins, letting out an amused exhale. "No, that's fair… but you're not missing anything. It's only been a couple of days since we've all talked."

"I'm aware. But I enjoy our chats. They're keeping me sane." Harry replies, and she can practically feel the sincerity to his statement.

"You don't feel sane?" She asks with a small laugh, though genuinely understanding his meaning.

"I just miss everyone. I miss home. Feels a bit lonely over here."

"Aren't you living with a bunch of people right now?"

"That's… yes. But that's not what I mean." He sighs, and she can hear a mild pain in his exhale. "Los Angeles isn't home. Not truly."

"Right. It will be nice to have you around again." Cassidy admits, sensing the mild desire to have had this be a video call, for the sake of displaying a reassuring expression to ease him.

"Did I just hear that correctly? You actually like having me around?"

"Shut up, you twit." Cassidy scolds with a chuckle. "But, it's honestly not the same without you here."

There's a silence that falls between, and Cassidy feels that light comfortability she is becoming accustomed to feeling when she dwells on the good things she still has to keep her going. These talks, and this friendship with Harry, are definitely one of them.

Her attention turns back to him as she hears the clearing of his throat, and she reverts back to being grateful that this call is not a video, as she senses a pink hue rushing to her cheeks.

"I just think that, when I'm finally home in London again, it'll feel like things are getting back to normal."

•••

[ present - June 2020 ]

As nice as it's been to work completely from home for the past few months, and spend more quality time with Cecelia, there is only a certain amount of sanity that someone can maintain while quarantining in general, let alone with an energetic toddler. So, Cassidy jumped at the chance to accept Anne's invite to her home, especially giving her daughter some freedom to go off and play while she chats face to face with another adult.

However, as she sits across from the woman who basically helped raise her, she can sense an awkward nervousness coming from Anne as she strums her fingers on the tea cup.

"I'm still sorry about Mother's Day being canceled." Anne expresses, slightly throwing Cassidy off that her anxiousness seems to be based off of the uncontrollable situation.

"It's not your fault. We went into lockdown!" She giggles, hoping her easy going demeanor helps to ease the unnecessary guilt Anne seems to be feeling.

"I know. It just would've been nice to have one last outing before everything shut down." Anne smiles, small but sweet.

Cassidy stays silent, gazing down to her beverage, the two seemingly understanding the nonverbal agreement. It hasn't been easy, for anyone, despite the rules of lockdown beginning to ease up. She's never been more grateful for open coffee shops and food delivery services, even if masks are required.

"Have you been out much now that we can, you know, go out a bit?" Anne asks.

Cassidy shakes her head slightly and she swallows her sip of tea.

"Haven't had much of a reason to go anywhere, besides the shops, for groceries."

"Oh." Cassidy hears the short reply.

As her eyes gaze back up to Anne, she is met with an unexpected expression, though one she had just been witnessing. The anxiousness has returned, or is still there, she isn't sure which one.

"Is… is there something else bothering you?"

"No, no. Not bothering…"

"But there is something." Cassidy replies, her eyebrow raising immediately.

"Well… it's just that, if you did want a reason to go out… there's this very nice guy, the son of a friend I have, and I thought-"

"Oh, so this was an ambush!" Cassidy states with amusement, but also a little frustration. She knows Anne means well, but she isn't even sure if she's ready for anything like a set up, and certainly wasn't expecting it to come from Anne.

"No, darling! No. I just… you're just a wonderful girl. And from what I know, he seems like a good guy. I just thought you two would have a nice time together…"

"I just don't know if I'm ready to date." Cassidy replies, the truth to her answer apparent to her in the way the thought of such a thing chaotically swirls around in her mind.

"Not ready? I can't even remember the last time you went on one! You definitely haven't since Cece was born!" Anne exclaims, snapping her mouth shut once the words come out, her features filled with regret. "I'm sorry. It's not my place."

"It's okay, Anne." Cassidy places her own hand over Anne's, waiting until their gazes meet.

"I just want you to be happy, CJ."

"I am happy." She reassures her.

"But you deserve to be loved. You deserve someone who absolutely adores you. Who, umm, who thinks the world of you, and never stops feeling that way. Who loves you through anything and everything life has and will put you through."

"Well, I have Cece…" Cassidy giggles, trying to divert the conversation to a more comfortable topic of discussion.

"You deserve someone who will love you both that way." Anne states, and Cassidy can see the emotion manifesting itself as tears form in the corners of her eyes. "I'm surprised you're still single, to be honest. But, if nobody… has tried… that's their loss. It's not as though you need it. A woman doesn't have to have a man to be happy. But, darling, you both deserve all the love in the world."

Anne's beautiful words and pure-hearted expression cause Cassidy's heart to melt. There isn't a sneaky or malicious bone in that woman's body, and she knows Anne is only doing it out of genuine love of her own.

"It doesn't have to be a commitment. Just a date. Or even just a… hang out of sorts." Anne adds, and Cassidy realizes she doesn't think she can reject Anne's offer. Or suggestion. Or whatever it is. She sighs, partially from gratitude but also defeat, and squeezes the hand she's holding.

"Alright." She agrees, watching as Anne tries to hide the way her face wants to light up.

"Alright?"

"I'll meet him." She concedes, every fiber of her body pricked with anxiety.

"Are you sure?" Anne asks, suddenly displaying more timidity than moments before.

Cassidy nods, mostly out of instinct. Anne has the best intentions, but bringing a guy into her life is not as simple as a casual 'hang out'. She has Cecelia. Not every man is open to being in a relationship with someone who already has a child. And Cassidy is more than a little cautious about who she brings into their dynamic. However, she knows that Anne is onto something. Even though she is perfectly content with it being her and Cecelia together, she can admit to herself that having someone else join their little unit wouldn't be the worst thing ever. As long as it's the right person. And she can't know if someone is the right person unless she gets to know them. So she might as well start somewhere, with someone. And if Anne knows this man, that's certainly not a bad place to begin.

•••

Derek is nice.

As planned by Anne, he and Cassidy first met up outside a small cafe, taking caution by social distancing from others, and enjoying the company together outdoors.

He is nice. Smart, successful, good looking, and seemingly uncomplicated.

The last part could be most important, considering that, as a single mother, her life can be the opposite at times.

Though, he seems to be very fond of her. He immediately made his intentions known that he won't see anyone else while they get to know each other. Again, uncomplicated. And any free moment she has, he wants to spend with her.

Which is why they are walking down the corridor to her flat, after he treated her to a very posh picnic in the park.

He guides her to the front door, a warm and strong palm placed on the small of her back, and stops behind her as they reach it.

She spins around, causing his hand to glide to her hip, and she swallows the lump in the throat that developed from the motion. It's been quite a long time since she's been touched like that, in that way.

"Thank you for today." She states quietly, some nerves seemingly getting the best of her.

"I'd like to do something with you tomorrow." He replies, a subtle squeeze of her hip accompanying his statement.

"Oh. I… I have some work to do, unfortunately." Her gaze drops out of unexpected shyness. It's not a lie, she does need to complete a few things, but she always finds herself in a daze after being with him. Dating feels new to her, all over again, and she always feels as if she needs to process their time together. Process the feelings.

His disappointed sigh is halted as the sound of the elevator rings out. They both turn their heads to see the doors open, and watch as Harry walks through them, his head down and his hands behind his back.

His pace slows as he gets halfway down, gazing up to meet the eyes of Cassidy, then shooting them over to the man beside her.

She looks over to Derek, whose expression matches that of her friend's.

"Harry? Harry Styles?"

"Yes…" Harry answers with hesitancy, and Cassidy concludes that he may be nervous about an awkward interaction with a fan.

"It's Derek. Derek Mills." He exclaims, raising his hand to his chest as if to provide visual proof of who he is. As if his identity should be obvious to the other man. "Holmes Chapel Comprehensive!"

Cassidy watches as Harry's eyes widen, flickering between her and the man he has now, apparently, been reintroduced to.

"Derek. Right. How's it going mate?" He asks, giving a blank stare and similarly neutral tone.

"It's going well. Yeah, I'm doing really, really well." Derek replies, giving a smile as his gaze moves to Cassidy before returning to her friend. Potentially his own old friend, though she can't quite be sure.

"Wonderful." Harry states, providing no emotion in his statement. He looks down to his hands after bringing them in front of him, showcasing a beautiful arrangement of flowers that she had somehow missed when the interaction began.

"I didn't realize you two knew each other. Especially considering, you know…" Derek points in Harry's direction. "He's famous."

"Oh, well-"

"We're good friends." Harry interjects. "We've known each other since we were kids."

An uncomfortable silence falls between the three of them, with only the jingling of Cassidy's keys sounding down the corridor.

"Those are nice." Derek states plainly, pointing to the bouquet, matching the tone he has been receiving thus far.

"Oh, right. I, umm, brought these over… for Cece." Harry replies, now keeping his gaze fixated on Cassidy. "Can I give them-"

"Oh." She responds quietly, suddenly feeling a tidal wave of tension filing the space around her. "She's having a little afternoon nap."

"Of course." Harry nods, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I should've remembered it was her nap time. I'm sorry."

"That's okay!" She instantly responds. She waves her finger between herself and the other man beside her. "We were just… saying goodbye. So I can take them inside."

She turns to Derek, being met with pure confusion. Not that it wasn't clear he wasn't being invited inside. That's something Cassidy put a boundary on as soon as he asked to see her again after that first date. So the confusion is most likely regarding this uncomfortable interaction between the three of them.

He gives Cassidy a nod and a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Message me tonight." He states, turning away from her and moving closer to Harry. "Nice to see you again, Harry."

"You too." He utters in reply, not giving the man much acknowledgement as he walks closer to Cassidy, and Derek walks further away.

Harry looks back at the now empty hall, and turns around to meet her stare.

"I didn't know you were… dating anyone…" He states softly, with a familiar timidity that she hasn't heard in a while.

"We've been on a few dates. Nothing too serious right now." She shrugs, rummaging through the bag she has hanging from her shoulder.

"Right. Well, that's… nice..."

"What's with the tone?" She asks, a sternness beginning to attach to her own tone. What reason can he have to be snarky with her?

"I'm a bit surprised that you didn't tell me about this."

As much as Cassidy was just questioning his current, negative demeanor, she didn't expect a real answer. Certainly not that answer.

"I didn't realize it's something you would even want to know…"

"I'm your friend! Of course I want-... I mean… we talked a lot while I was away. Seems like this would be something that came up in conversation…"

She studies his face, watching with uncertainty as he expresses the same sentiment.

"Your mum only introduced us a couple of weeks ago and-"

"My mum set this up?" Harry's eyes widen, just enough for Cassidy to pick up on the movement of his features.

"Yeah…" She replies, still sensing a sliver of the snarky tone he had used moments before. "She thinks I'm not happy. Or… wants me to be happier, at least. She wants me to have more love in my life."

"Love?" Harry immediately straightens his posture and his eyes widen with, what looks like, a curious shock.

"Well, god, one step at a time please…"

"So, do you like him?" He utters, a volume that almost caused Cassidy to miss his question.

"I suppose so." She shrugs. Her answer would truthfully be that she does, but that suddenly feels as if it would be a troublesome response to give at this moment.

"You suppose so?"

"He's a nice guy."

"Did you even know him in school?" He asks, passive aggressively at best.

"No… he was in the year ahead of mine. What's that got to do with-"

"I just don't remember him being a nice guy."

"In school? Harry, that was ages ago." She chuckles, trying to ignore the once familiar frustration making itself known. "I don't particularly remember you being at your best back then either."

"Yes, but that's-... it's just that, I-" He stutters, swallowing harshly and running his fingers through his hair as he clears his throat. "You're right. I wasn't."

"And look at you now. Bloody hell, look at us both now! I hang out with the biggest pop star in the world!" Cassidy exclaims, delighting in the comedic truth to the statement, even if it's not the real heart of their reconciliation. "But, moreso, I'm your friend. We are friends. People change, Harry."

"True." He utters in response. "I just… I'm looking out for you."

"I appreciate it. But you don't need to worry about me, I can handle myself." She smiles, standing up straighter to further display her confidence. "I'd like to think I have a good judge of character."

Harry opens his mouth, but quickly closes it, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"So… did you only come over to bring Cece some flowers?" Cassidy gives a small smile, still feeling an odd, mild tension in the air, but hoping the change of subject eases it away.

"Well, no. Since I just got back into town, I was going to invite you both over to my place." He returns her smile with one of his own, but the attempt still doesn't give her the reassurance she needs. "But since Cece's asleep, maybe another day then."

"Sure! Tomorrow?"

He hands over the bouquet and brings one hand up to fiddle with his lower lip, crossing the other around his waist, and furrowing his brow in thought.

"Yes. Tomorrow afternoon will work just fine."

Harry gives her a slight nod, along with a matching smile, and turns back to walk down the corridor. Cassidy watches as he gets back on the lift, his expression still seeming to be one of deep concentration on whatever his mind is dwelling on, and she begins to feel an uneasiness in her chest that she wasn't expecting to materialize between the two of them.

[ flashback - July 2014 ]

Dragged to yet another One Direction concert in London. That's where Cassidy finds herself with Gemma. It's annoying, at this point, that she so easily caves to her best friend's request of joining her, when she never wants to attend any of their shows. Not fully anyway.

And this time is worse, because Gemma managed to convince Cassidy to hang out backstage before the show, rather than after when she can use exhaustion as an excuse to get out of there quickly.

"So, what's new?" Niall asks her, scooting closer to her as they both lean against one of the dressing room walls.

"Not much really." She shrugs, considering the fact that her life is nowhere near as exciting as the one they lead.

"She's being modest." She hears coming from her right, feeling her friend nudge her with an elbow as Gemma walks up beside her. "She's finishing up at uni and then doing an internship for a place in Manchester!"

"That's amazing, Cassidy!" Niall exclaims, giving her a cheeky wink.

She simply shrugs, still highly aware of the company this news is being given to, knowing that this megastar's reaction is out of politeness.

"And she started seeing someone…" Gemma adds, causing Cassidy to shoot a strong, scolding glare in that direction.

"You're dating? Who are you dating?" A voice asks, and Cassidy turns her gaze to see Harry walking over from the other side of Niall, leaning one shoulder against the wall with his arms crossed over his body.

Who does he think he is to assume he has the right to even know the details of the new relationship she is in?

"You don't know him." She growls through her teeth.

"I might…"

"You don't."

She watches Harry look over to his sister, and out of the corner of her eye, sees the confirmation Gemma gives him. As if Cassidy's answer wasn't enough, or wasn't the truth. As if he knew better than to take her word for it. That arrogant prick.

"Does he know you know me?" His annoyingly famous smirk immediately appears after his words come out.

"Why would I tell him that?"

"Just don't want him to get jealous." He states, tapping Niall on the shoulder, obviously looking for someone to agree with his comedic statement, but only, and thankfully for Cassidy, receiving a shake of Niall's head.

"There's nothing to be jealous of."

[ present - June 2020 ]

The sound of chopping can instantly be heard as Cassidy and Cecelia enter through the front doors to Harry's house.

"In here!" They hear coming from the kitchen, and as they turn the corner, Cassidy is met with the view of Harry busying himself around the room.

"Can I go ou'side?" Cecelia asks, looking between her mother and their host.

"Of course!" Harry immediately exclaims, not bothering to check with Cassidy, even though her answer would be the same. She smiles at the comfort and normality of it all now, and realizes that it may never cease to cause her heart to fill up with so many good feelings. Happiness qand gratitude being the main emotions. "I could use your help picking some pretty flowers to put on the center of my dining table…"

The little girl's eyes light up, nodding at the suggestion and skipping her way outside.

"What have you got going on over here?" Cassidy asks as she turns back to Harry and moves into the kitchen, finding different foods sprawled out across the counter.

"Just… a small charcuterie selection…" He replies, laying cheese slices on the middle of the board.

"You didn't hav-... it looks delicious, Harry!" She states. Clearly she is still learning to accept his generous gestures, though that is one thing she may never get used to. She has spent so many years having to do anything and everything herself, that it is still doesn't feel entirely normal for her to have someone else do something for her.

"I have some wine over there if you'd like to pour yourself a glass." He gestures behind him, not taking his focus away from the food in front of him.

Cassidy walks over to the opposite counter of where he stands, picking up the one bottle he has pulled from his collection, and reading over the very intricate label.

"Are you sure you want to open this one? It looks pretty fancy."

"It's just a bottle of red wine, Cass."

"It's a 1982. That's older than me! And it says 'rouge'… I consider that pretty fancy. But then again, I'm not the famous Harry Styles. I usually just go for the cheap Zinfandel or a pink Moscato." Cassidy giggles, looking up from the bottle in her hand to find Harry lacking the amusement that she herself is finding in her statement.

"Oh I'm aware." He replies, rolling his eyes in a very sarcastic nature.

"But maybe this pinot will wash away your 'grumpy old man' mood…"

Harry's gaze shoots up from his task, displaying wide eyes, as if he hadn't been clueless of his previous, serious expression, or the sourness in his tone. Although, she is almost positive that he knows.

"What?"

Cassidy scoffs out a laugh and shakes her head, choosing to move past his clear pout over her beverage commentary.

"Nothing. I just think you should save this one for another time. A better occasion."

He shrugs. Simply shrugs, and arranges the final few strawberries with the other fruits, as Cassidy finds a less extravagant wine for the both of them to consume. One that is more relatable to her more normal lifestyle.

"Shall we?" He asks, nodding in the direction of beautiful back doors, leading out to an even more beautiful backyard.

Cassidy grabs the glasses and they exit, each finding a comfortable spot on his patio furniture, both close enough to the outside table and within reach of the lovely food spread he has created.

"So, catch me up. What's… what's new in your life?" Harry asks, taking his glass and then a sip of wine, seemingly hiding his expectant expression, though failing to keep it from Cassidy.

"Well, considering we saw each other yesterday…" She giggles mildy. "Nothing."

"Right." He scoffs within a chuckle of his own. "But it wasn't much of a conversation, and I have been away…"

"We also talked multiple times a week, you pest. Besides not actually being around, and considering we couldn't do much anyway, you didn't miss anything."

"Don't know, it feels like I did." He mumbles. "With… with everyone."

Her gaze flickers over to him, noticing the way he has begun to run his teeth along his bottom lip, staring out to the backyard view.

"I bet it feels good to finally be back home then, yeah?"

"It does. Yes." He utters in response, a quietness that feels a little surprising to Cassidy, considering how desperate he seemed to leave Los Angeles and return to London. "I won't be able to settle in too much though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm… I'm actually headed to Italy soon."

"That sounds amazing! How soon?"

"Umm…" He runs his fingers through his hair and his gaze drops as he swirls the beverage around in his glass. "I'm leaving next week."

"Next week?" She exclaims, turning to face him completely. "Wow. I feel like you just got back home."

"I know." He softly states, giving nothing more than that simple response.

"What are you going for?" She feels her brow furrow slightly, the expression caused by the confusion she feels throughout herself. However, she lightens her features, even if just to ease her own mind. "Finding even more pretentious wine?"

"Of course." He replies with a simple smile, very unlike his usual grin, or smirk. "And, umm, I guess to also figure out what I want to do next. Maybe write a song or two, if inspiration strikes."

"And you can't do that here? At home?"

"I need a clear head. Free from distractions."

The confusion grows and a worry begins to build alongside it, though she isn't quite sure why. He's a grown man. He can do whatever and go wherever he wants to, it doesn't affect or involve her in any way. Except that, to an extent, it does.

She looks over to Cecelia, who is completely comfortable at Harry's home, and completely content digging around in the garden outside.

Her gaze quickly shoots down to her fingers as they begin to fidget with the stem of her wine glass, then slowly moves back over to him.

A realization falls over her. She's a bit sad. For Cecelia, who just got her best friend back, but also for herself. She just got her friend back too. Her other best friend. Now he's headed off again, and another realization hits her. Their lives are so different. As much as she sees him as the Harry she knew as a kid, he is not just that. And for the first time since they became friends, she worries that it could change things. Change what they now have.

"Right." She utters, still caught up in her thoughts. "Free from distractions."

Series Masterlist

•••

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[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Hiie!

I can't find any posts about this yet. What are your pros/cons on bioactive enclosures? I've seen alot of opinions online but like, professionally what's the move? I'm a naturalist at a state park and we are getting new terrariums and I want to go bio to display native plants alongside the animals! Can live plants and reptiles do well without the "cleanup crew"?

Also, if moving in the bioactive direction, do you recommend buying an active soil like biodude? I've seen people online using soil, moss, plants, isopods, worms from outside in their tanks. How do you sanitize/quarantine? Are parasites an issue?

Askinf for corn snake, king snake, box turtles, if that makes a difference. I already sent our vet these same questions, I'm casting a wide net for all the info I can get :) Thank youuuu I love this blog sm 💗

Hello hello, very good questions!! I don't keep any of my personal snakes in bioactive enclosures (I don't enjoy trying to keep plants alive and I'm not the biggest fan of insects), but at my wildlife center we've been moving to keeping several of our display snakes in bioactive enclosures for the past few years and they're really nice in educational settings!

Like I said, I don't like bioactive enclosures for my own pets - aside from the additional hassle of bugs and plants, I keep a lot of snakes with special needs and more sterile enclosures make things easier on me. I wouldn't recommend bioactive enclosures for special-needs animals because they make it harder to spot problems like abnormal waste.

On the flip side, though, they're really great tools in educational settings because the naturalistic look sells the whole setup and (as you mention!) is perfect for highlighting native flora. They also never need deep-cleaned, which is a huge plus. They're time-consuming to set up but they can save you time in the long run.

If you're going bioactive, you really do need a cleanup crew. An ideal bioactive enclosure is a minature, self-sustaining ecosystem, and your cleanup crew is essential to getting the nitrogen cycle a-flowin'. Aside from doing the obvious and helping to clean up messes, insects also aerate the soil by burrowing through it, keeping everything healthier. You can totally try to set up plants without the clean up crew, but you might have a bit of a time with regular cleaning at maintenance without their help.

I asked our soil biology expert at my wildlife center, and she says that pre-packaged soils from the Biodude and the like can be super convenient and helpful, but there's also no harm in DIY-ing it if you'd like. You can buy the topsoil, moss, etc. you need at garden centers, and often much cheaper! She agrees with me that there is enough risk of parasites and other dangers such as fertilizers and pesticides with dirt/worms/etc. straight from outside that's it wise to buy it instead just to be safe. Be sure to look for organic topsoils without fertilizer or vermiculite - soils have ingredients written on the bags so be careful to look and make sure! Kellogg brand is my go-to soil for reptiles.

No matter where you get your soils, a good way to sterilize them is with heat. What we actually do at work is just pop it in the microwave! About five minutes per batch works well. This is really important because it kills any mold that may be sneaking in. You don't have to bother with this step if you buy a pre-made soil like the Biodude's, they come safe and ready to use.

Your cleanup crew (springtails and isopods are probably the easiest to work with, I prefer them to anything else honestly) shouldn't need quarantined, though. They should be good to go as soon as you bring them in.

Once you get everything set up, I recommend letting the enclosure cycle for at least a month. We learned from hard experience that your cleanup crew can easily be overwhelmed the presence of your reptile if they're not acclimated to their new home!

All the best!! If you all do decide to go bioactive, I'd love pictures - there are few things better than seeing happy snakes in beautiful enclosures!

[tiredfuxkingboy]

i never told anyone about this, i just want to vent, sorry for the spelling mistakes cuz english isn't my first language..

can someone tell me what they think about this please?? idk

when i turned 13, my older sister started to cut herself. We were on quarantine, 2021, so we were home all day everyday.

so, in 2021 she started to cut herself, and she made me know it. I always saw the cuts in her legs because her shorts were too short or things like that..

She used to put her razon inside her phone case, and sometimes i threw to the trash other razors she had, trying to make her stop or something, but then she would go to me and look at me badly and complain to me without saying what it was but telling me things like "you did it" or things like that.

That year i started cutting myself too, I really wanted to die. The second or third time I did it with a cutter that I found somewhere. When I came out of the bathroom after cutting myself, my older sister said "welcome" to me smiling, like making fun of me or i don't know.. it was so surreal. I guess she saw that the cutter wasn't where it always was, so she assumed i was cutting myself and she was right. But I don't understand why she would tell me that, I would never do something like that, especially if I had a younger sibling, , it just doesn't makes sense

One time she took a new cutter from a box somewhere in my house, she put it in his pocket and started telling me that she was going to swallow one of the razors of the cutter, that she was going to kill herself with the other, and I don't know what else, she said that to me jokingly as if it was funny. it was so horrible.. one time she called me to bring her a shampoo upstairs and when i opened the door she grabbed the shampoo from my hand with her uncovered arm full of cuts. Showing them to me.. then she closed the door and i went downstairs to cry and whatever. So much more things like that happened.

That whole year I tried to have the courage to tell my parents that my older sister was self-harming, but I never could, I never had the courage. All year I saw how she went into the bathroom for a long time, cutting herself, and then she came out looking depressed. I almost always knew when she cut herself and i couldn't do anything, i didn't know what to do, i literally couldn't do anything, i didn't know how to do it. How to help, nothing. I wanted to do something and i never could.

That year i tried to kill myself many times, and none of them worked. Other mental problems appeared that year, such as DID and others, and I had hallucinations almost every day. i used to cry every day, i cried when I woke up because I didn't want to live, i used to overdose with pills a lot, i felt anxious every day without stopping for a single second. Also in 2022, less than a year later, I couldn't remember when it had happened or how much time it happened, everything had been blocked due to the trauma and it was so horrible. To this day I still have those problems

My older sister stopped cutting herself at the end of 2021 because my mom found out she self-harmed, so she had to stop. When my mom found of she was doing that, she made everyone worry about her and told me that we had to help her, but she never cared about me in the same way, but whatever

I'm really happy that she stopped cutting herself, but I still can't stop self-harming and I'm covered with scars over both my arms and legs, scars way much worse than the only ones my older sister has. and no one cares to make me stop, everyone knows and it's like no one cares.

But whatever, I hate myself too much for this and I will never forgive myself for what i did. I hate myself so much and I hate my 13 year old self so much for being so fucking stupid and useless, i can't get this out of my head

[writtenjewels]

Cot

Salim was in a prickly mood when the people in hazmat suits finally let him be for some sleep. Though of course they weren't going to let a POW be anywhere by himself-- they warned he would have someone there to keep watch over him. He stepped into the room they would use for sleep and had to blink several times to register what he was seeing.

“Hey,” Jason nodded in greeting.

“Jason.” Salim staggered forward. Jason gave him a little smile and pushed the brim of his cap off his forehead.

“Honestly,” he drawled, “it's nice to see a human face.” Salim recognized the words and relaxed. “What'd they do to you?” Jason asked in a more serious tone.

“Nothing; they just asked me questions.” Salim rubbed at his wrists self-consciously. Jason's eyes fixed on them, his face hardening. “You tied me up not too long ago,” Salim reminded him.

“I know. Still pisses me off they did it.” Jason reached out a hand and Salim offered his wrist for inspection. He felt his pulse quicken a bit as Jason's fingers brushed against the skin. “Don't look too bad,” he judged, and when he let go his fingers glided briefly against Salim's palm. It was so quick it could have been unintentional.

“How did your 'interview' go?” Salim asked to change the subject.

“Fine,” Jason huffed. “It was fine.” Salim recognized the words for the lie they were, but didn't prod for the truth. Jason was in as prickly a mood as Salim, and digging any deeper wouldn't do any good.

“They assigned me someone to guard me while I slept,” Salim mentioned.

“I know.” Jason's eyes flicked to Salim's face. “I overheard them talkin' about assignin' you a guard,” Jason told him. “I had to make damn sure it was me. Couldn't stand not knowin' if you were okay, what they were doin' to ya.”

“You were being my shield,” Salim supplied.

“Bet you didn't know what you were in for when you used that metaphor,” Jason remarked with a quirk of his lips. “I take semper fi fuckin' seriously.” Salim smiled back before finally taking in the room. Not that there was much to see: the quarantine space had a lot of tables and crates that the hazmat people brought with them. There was just enough room for a cot.

Seeing it made Salim realize how tired he really felt. He gratefully sat on it and would have stretched out, except something clicked in his head.

“Where are you going to sleep?” he asked Jason.

“I'm standin' guard, remember?” Jason said with a humorless smile.

“We both know there's no need for that.” Salim gripped the edge of the cot, letting his eyes drop so he wouldn't see Jason's face. “We should both get some rest while we can.”

“Guess so.” Jason joined him on the cot. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Salim repeated, stretching out and rolling over so he faced away from Jason.

It'd been such a long day and he was so tired. So why couldn't he fall asleep? Why was he so highly aware of Jason's body next to his on the cot? Salim had to share sleeping space with other soldiers many times before; this should have been no different. But it was, because none of those other times had his nerves buzzing or his heart beating faster in his chest. He didn't know if he should try to be still or let himself relax and risk brushing up against Jason.

Salim closed his eyes and tried counting to fix his mind on something else. The cot shifted a bit as Jason moved to get more comfortable and Salim instantly lost his place. He opened his eyes again and glanced over his shoulder. He could see the back of Jason's head-- and more notably all of his hair. He'd never seen Jason without that hat before. Intrigued, Salim carefully moved so he wouldn't jostle the other too much.

He'd been expecting a buzz cut, but Jason's hair was a little longer than that. It was currently matted down from all the hours spent under his hat.

“You should keep it off,” Salim remarked. Jason made a questioning noise and glanced over his shoulder. “Your hat,” Salim clarified. His heart skipped a beat as their eyes met. He could see Jason's entire face, free of the shadow the hat brim cast and of the dirt and blood that had formed there the past few hours.

“Yeah,” Jason agreed. “I think I will.” He smiled and turned back to his position.

Which now had Salim facing his back, their bodies aligned so if Salim inched a little closer, Jason's ass would be pressing up against Salim's crotch. Salim was startled by the thought-- more so by the arousal that followed it. He couldn't think like that. However close the two of them had gotten in the past few hours, Salim doubted Jason would be interested in that.

Salim firmly shut his eyes and tried desperately to think about anything else. He pictured the vampires: their mouths gaping wide as they shrieked, their large bat-like wings, the way they crawled along before attacking... Jason coming in to save him, gun blazing. The smile he gave to Salim after Salim let out a hopeful “oorah?”

“Salim,” Jason grunted. Salim opened his eyes again.

“Yes, Jason?”

“Nothin'.” Jason shifted a little on the cot. “Just makin' sure you were still there.”

“I'm not going anywhere.” Salim carefully rested his hand on Jason's shoulder. “According to you, I'm a marine now, too. So I take semper fi seriously.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you can be a little too wordy?” Jason teased.

“Yes. A short, angry American said something like that.”

“Holy shit, Salim,” Jason snapped, rolling to face him so he could shoot a glare. “We're nearly the same fuckin' height!”

“Of course, of course,” Salim agreed, chuckling, his hand thoughtlessly going back to Jason's shoulder. He froze, suddenly aware of how the two of them were positioned and the proximity of their bodies. If he shifted just an inch or two closer...

Allah, why couldn't he stop thinking about that?

“We really should try to sleep,” Salim mentioned.

“Sure.” But Jason didn't roll back the other way. He stayed just as he was, facing Salim. He hadn't tried discouraging Salim's hand on his shoulder, either.

This was going to be an excruciatingly long night.

[jtl-fics]

Fusion Dance:

FF in the zombie apocalypse

Fluent Freshman AU | Unusual Fic Asks

I need you to understand what this has done to me. 1. I didn't think anyone was going to ask about FF for some reason and 2. The concept of FF in the apocalypse is so funny to me because I write a lot of him based off of me and I have ALWAYS told anyone who asks that if an apocalypse happens I am not the plucky young lass doing whatever it takes to survive type. (Like I get word that One Piece is cancelled because Oda got eaten it's like 'ok I gotta go ask that man some QUESTIONS in the after life' and I'm OUT. I just don't have that drive in me!)

BUT FF is that kind of guy.

---

FF had been ready for the end of the world for ages. He'd felt the world quake and tear itself apart plenty of times. The first time had been after the car accident. The second time had been when he realized his mother wasn't going to stand up for him. The third was when she said "I do" to a man who hadn't made it a secret what he thought about FF.

The end of the world kept happening for him, so it was almost bizarre when finally everyone else agreed that it had happened.

He didn't really pay attention to the news, only to the increasing anxiety around campus as more and more infections occurred and there were talks about locking down the campus. His anxiety ramped higher and higher until he found himself in a state that he hated. A state where it was all so much that he lost the ability to feel anything at all.

The numbers kept climbing, the infections growing closer, and FF couldn't calm down enough to feel anything.

Then a Palmetto student was bitten and weirder it was someone he had known if only because they played on the same team.

He dodged out of the way of Jack's open mouth as he heard Sheena scream. His senses for an unexpected back attack had been heightened from years of dealing with his step brothers and further from the mindless bloodlust of Black Friday shoppers.

Jack lunged for him again.

"No cure - 100% fatal at biting stage" flashed on the TV in the lounge yesterday. "Self-Defense Recommended" the news anchor said numerous times.

He couldn't bring himself to do it though.

Aaron walked into the hallway and Jack's attention turned. He lunged mouth open and-

FF found the courage to swing down his Racquet.

Sheena just kept screaming as she ran out of the hallway.

Aaron looked shocked looking between FF and Jack on the ground.

"The infection has hit Palmetto." FF says with a deep breath trying not to feel sick, "I'm not staying on campus." he says wondering how many more students had broken quarantine like Jack.

"Where are you planning to go?" Aaron asks giving Jack's body a wide berth as he stepped around it.

"My grandma lives in Washington State. It's pretty rural. I'll go there." He says because she's stood by him through every other end of the world. If this is the one that takes then he wants to be sitting next to her.

"Sounds better than sitting here." Aaron says with a shrug and FF could see that he was shaking from what he'd just seen.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." FF says because he knows what Aaron had done to protect his brother. Aaron looks at him with wide eyes, "He was past the point where he might have been saved. We can't hesitate." he says because that's what the news anchor had said.

Aaron takes a long and shaking breath and nods.

FF nods back to him before turning and heading in the opposite direction of the exit that Sheena had run towards. He heard Aaron's footsteps following him, well this is embarrassing that they're going the same way.

"Where are you going now?" Aaron asks.

"CVS." FF answers.

"Smart, medical supplies." Aaron agrees.

Oh, that is also a good plan. FF was just planning on taking a shopping basket and knocking every last bottle of Pepto Bismol into it. "Yes." he says.

"I'll text Andrew." Aaron says and for the love of god FF did not know what he would be texting him. "Hey, thanks...for uh...saving me." he says.

They haven't decided how to charge people quite yet for the Infection self-defense cases.

"Don't mention it." he says and honestly wishes he could tell Sheena the same.

[toxicanonymity]

When will you update the new chapter for Left in Lincoln? I love it so much!!!

[ref: Left in Lincoln (dark!dbf x virgin) ] Thank you so much! It's not ready yet and I can't answer that, unfortunately. This is of course my own doing by having a cuckfest for nearly two weeks and planning to finish the chapter this weekend which did not go as planned IRL-wise. I love you so much and thank you for reading this series! I always want to give it my best self so I don't write it haphazardly here and there like I do everything else (except planned series) and have to be in a certain headspace.

Cucking Digest

May 2 - 14

Everything I've cucked Lincoln with since the last chapter. I used to cuck Silence has never been bought, too. That's how Night Walks was born to begin with.

The Regulars

Stepdad!Joel 4x: All Recipes / Halloween drabble / Hypothetically baiting him / Hypothetically he fucks your mom

Night Walks!Joel in two different decades: (2018) Night Drives (sketch uber driver) / Night Walks 6: Morning After

Trouble!Joel who came out of cryo just to cuck Lincoln: Halloween one-shot drabble

Free Use!Joel: Bail run (asleep) - consensual somnophilia

Thighs Out!Joel: at the beach (300) - exhibitionism

Raider!Joel: Hypothetical about mounting him when you're both captive but only he's in restraints (800) Closure to old ones

Patrol: Follow-up with virginity loss.

Peeping tom!Joel: Follow-up where he fucks the reader next door

The breeding couple I claimed I wasn't going to write again but now they're pregnant (Mother's day special). One-offs or new ones

Lazaretto: You and Joel are in quarantine and the anti-fungal fog has a side effect of making him need to fuck you. (noncon via sex pollen)

Masseur!Joel: Joel is trying to act professional. Reader pressures him and things heat up, then she walks in on him jacking off right after their visit.

Vax Breeder!Joel: You're voluntarily inseminated for cordyceps vaccine research, the old fashioned way by Joel, to your delight.

slasher!Joel: You narrowly avoid being serial killed and fuck for your life, although you were already DTF before you realized he was bad.

How did I write so much in two weeks? Well, it looks like even more than it is because some of these were already WIPs and some are just drabbles, but still, answer Here.

Anyway, I'm the worst, but I love you and appreciate your patience!

[negrowhat]

Congratulations!!!

What are your top 10 favorite couples?

HEY FRIENDS CELEBRATE ME REACHING 2500 FOLLOWERS BY SENDING ME ASKS:

Nothing’s off the table for these asks. You can ask me anything. Top 3′s, Top 5′s, Top 10′s, even Top 22′s (lord). They can be BL related, KPOP related, food, movies, people. Or you can just drop in the ask box to show your love and congratulate ya sis on 2500. 

THANKS FOR THE LOVE! Top 10 fave couples? Let's see

FighterTutor from Why R U? Not the best with communication sure, but they had undeniable chemistry together. With Tutor, Fighter was able to be himself. With Fighter, Tutor was able to be more at ease and learn to lean on someone else. They were sweet and romantic and I love them.

Gene and Nubsib from Lovely Writer. I adore Gene. And even though Sib was manipulative and a bit of a sociopath, he took amazing care of Gene. I love that Gene stayed true to himself and held Sib accountable for his problematic behavior. I love how much Nubsib loved Gene and I liked watching him baby Gene even though Gene was older.

WinTeam from Until We Meet Again. It's no secret that I adore the depth of their relationship. We didn't see a ton of it in UWMA and I'm super excited for Between Us. But the security and comfort that Win brings Team is something very special and beautiful.

PayuRain from Love in the Air. Surprise, surprise. I love them. I love their dynamic. I love the clear D/s relationship they have. I love that Payu pushes Rain to be a better student. I love that Rain says what he's thinking. I love that they're protective over each other. I love that Payu would do anything for Rain. I just love them.

KinnPorsche from KinnPorsche the Series. Yea no surprise there either. KP's relationship is a hot mess a lot of the time. But Kinn allows himself to be at ease around Porsche. He's comfortable enough to show his true self to Porsche. I love that Porsche didn't really show signs of interest until he got to know the real Kinn. The trot singing, lame-joke-making, easily excitable Kinn. I love that it took Porsche some time to decide he wanted to be with Kinn. I love that it wasn't instant for him. They were very sweet together despite all the issues.

Yeon Woo and Yoo Han from Color Rush S1. I have so much love for these 2. Soulmates is one of my fave tropes and they were soulmates in everyway. The importance they held to each other. The undeniable attraction they felt. The obsession. They needed each other to feel completed. Toxic in some ways but endearing in others.

WinTops from Ingredients the Series. My comfort couple. Roommates + slow burn + friends to lovers = WinTops. They were everything to me. The softest and the sweetest.

SkyJao from Secret Crush On You. They are perfection. Sky is literally the sweetest guy and he went above and beyond to show Jao that he was perfect the way he was. Jao is the best boy and I related to him heavily. I loved everything about them.

KaengPuth from Y-Destiny. My boys were a hot mess, but I enjoyed watching 2 playboys fall in love and turn into cat dads. First and Toru had amazing chemistry and I loved them together. Also I love that they started off as fuck buddies.

CaiReel from Gameboys. These Quarantine boos hold a special place in my heart. I can't explain how much I adore them. They had good communication and openly supported and loved each other. They helped each other through hard times and built a beautiful and strong relationship.

HEY FRIENDS CELEBRATE ME REACHING 2500 FOLLOWERS BY SENDING ME ASKS:

Nothing’s off the table for these asks. You can ask me anything. Top 3′s, Top 5′s, Top 10′s, even Top 22′s (lord). They can be BL related, KPOP related, food, movies, people. Or you can just drop in the ask box to show your love and congratulate ya sis on 2500. 

[homerforsure]

WIP Wednesday

Okay I know it's been WIP Week for me, but I did want to prove that I'm still working on LWH in the midst of all the self-indulgent snippets.

Tagged by the ever lovely @rewritetheending, @renecdote, @mellaithwen, and @megsvstheworld

Between missing his turn three different times and the construction that appeared overnight on his usual route, it takes Buck a full twenty minutes longer than usual to get home from the firehouse. It’s time he can’t really afford to lose if he needs to be at Eddie’s by noon. To babysit. While Eddie goes on a date. 

The thought roils through him, churning up a bitter and mournful misery that threatens to suffuse deep into his bones. Anger flashes along with it, like lightning peeking through dark storm clouds, and it startles Buck so much as he recognizes it that he immediately flees from it, turning his back on the sharper emotion until all he can feel is the safer, heavier feeling of sadness. 

He has no right to be angry. He told Eddie to keep the date with Ana. He knew that Eddie had changed his mind about waiting for him after everything that had happened during quarantine. But part of Buck hadn’t wanted to know it. Part of him clung to those other moments that had come after. “Buck’s family” and “There’s no place else I wanna be” and “You don’t have anything to prove.” Part of his heart hadn’t wanted to give up hoping and while Buck has tried to keep at a reasonable distance until he was ready to ask for more, he’s obviously failed. 

Eddie’s voice had changed on the phone with Ana. He’d been flustered and unsure in a way that Buck had so rarely heard him. His cheeks flushed, but he’d smiled and laughed at whatever Ana had said in his ear and then he’d said yes. Buck had been trying to read, but all the words on the page blurred together from the moment Eddie had said her name. Ana Flores. Buck’s never heard Eddie say someone’s name like that before. Like it’s the start of something. It looks good on him. 

Buck misses his turn again.

Someday I'm going to start doing this in the morning so I know who's already done things and who hasn't, but for today, I'm going to tag: @princessfbi, @bigfootsmom, @nymika-arts, @littlespoonevan, @buckactuallys, and @fleurdebeton

[asherlockstudy]

sorry for the long ask coming up!

disclaimer i'm fairly new to rhett & link/GMM + adjacent and i definitely haven't caught up on all the past GMMs or everything else they've done, but i've noticed a lot of things about randl so...

i wanted to bring up link's weird contradictory mentions of his sexuality, honestly. i remember seeing the video where they talk about gay dating apps and link refuses to call himself a straight man ("as a... as me in this world") + the ear biscuits where they talk about how they've gotten more comfortable acting gay "for comedy" + link talking about not caring about labels BUT then i feel like link puts a weird emphasis on being straight and monogamous in some videos too. what i wanna know is if there is at least a vague timeline here you can put these attitudes on because i get the impression he goes back and forth but idk if he's holding these attitudes concurrently or if there's a pattern, maybe? again, i'm a relatively new fan so i feel like it's because i haven't really experienced the timeline of all this myself.

Hello, welcome to the fandom! Sorry for the late reply, I am sort of having very low energy these days.

What I have concluded is that they do back and forths all the time. Sometimes I get the impression they give out mixed signals on purpose but I cannot fully rationalise it.

I have a timeline but it is about my general observation of their interactions and behaviours, through which conclusions about Link’s exploration of sexuality topics could be drawn.

When they started back in 2012, Link was way more reserved. True, he has always been silly and doing impulsive things, but he made sure to not say inappropriate stuff. At the time, GMM was also resolutely a family friendly show. Things such as mentioning sexuality and labels were entirely out of the question. Link had impulsive moments of getting touchy, sensitive or saying something compromising about how intimate (not sexually but more than your guy friend typical) they get in private but those were quickly blocked by a very uptight Rhett.

Around 2014-15, there is a shift in the way they interact with each other. They are more cutesy, more flustered, make more heart eyes. Rhett has loosened up compared to the previous years, enough that he sometimes makes inappropriate jokes, such that Link often has to cut him off or control him.

2016, Link changes haircut. Rhett loosens up even more. 2016-2017, Rhett at times seems uncontainable. Link is more assured in himself, his silliness and his openness but nothing extremely different.

2018-2019, ups and downs in their dynamics but Link goes ballistic. He starts being way more daring in the way he talks and acts, at times bewildering even us. Rhett fluctuates between being flustered all the time or shutting down. At times Link becomes too obvious in his actions. He starts dressing differently, his posture changes a little, he starts provoking Rhett consciously. Other times he seems to be in a low, pensive mood. There are still no talks on sexuality except in a humorous context in LTAT.

2020, spiritual deconstruction (Link’s is brave and heavily insinuating stuff) + creative house. Then COVID quarantine stops them in their tracks. According to what they said, they both were genuinely very cautious during the peak of the pandemic and stayed at home without meeting for quite some time. Link seemed to become more reserved at the time, somewhat going back to his previous self, he is pensive, melancholic and too concerned with Christy’s health problems to bother much with not seeing Rhett enough. On the contrary, Rhett climbs the walls in his house. He becomes uncharacteristically needy and open.

2021-2022, Mythical becomes more verbal and open about its support to LGBT people and Rhett and Link follow along. However, after the pandemic Link has not reached his 2018-2019 levels of boldness. Rhett is a hard mix to define, he is mostly contained and more reserved than the previous years but he has his outbursts too. GME helps Link let loose whereas it takes years off from Rhett’s life. In every Sextember that follows they describe their very straight sexual lives. From the second half of 2022, Link starts to make vague implications.

2023, Link starts the year with big statements such as that he is now living his best life. He starts talking a lot about the exploration of oneself and identity and is more clear in his conversations regarding labels and sexuality. Rhett is not having a good time, he becomes more closed off and appears frequently to be anxious or irritated, which he also addresses in some podcasts. Link’s outbursts sometimes involve provoking Rhett, but unlike in 2018-2019, they now mostly involve speaking more openly about himself. While this is an ongoing situation there are frequent breaks of stated straightness in between. Especially after the summer Link’s intentions have become a rollercoaster, with constant risks and immediate overcorrection. Their scripted videos are steadily bolder than they are.

That’s my recollection, there may be some inaccuracies regarding the precise years mentioned but I think it is mostly correct. Link’s attempts to open up about himself and his journey of exploration is a fairly new situation. The official start is his spiritual deconstruction but it did not become a regular effort on his part before 2022.

[dnf-fic-recs]

What are your best florida fics in wake of this weekend?

hi anonie hope these help build up your hype!! 💪💪

follow what i'm feeling by brokenlikeastitch

The elevator takes too long, and after at least a minute waiting on the bottom floor, George gives up and drags his suitcase to the stairs. It’s hot and stuffy in the garage, Florida summer still in full swing, and George lugs the suitcase up all three flights of stairs with a strength he didn’t know he possesses. When he gets to the third floor he’s dripping sweat, but he’s so close.

The stairwell door sticks, and George practically has to kick it. It flies open, slamming into the wall with a loud bang that echoes through the mostly empty floor. No one else is there except for a figure in a maroon hoodie leaning against a still running car. It has to be Dream. George is frozen in place, several hundred feet away still, staring, and that’s when Dream seems to notice him.

“George!” Dream yells out, waving with one hand, the other still tucked in his hoodie pocket, and it kicks George into action. He lets go of the suitcase handle and takes off, backpack banging into his back over and over.

call me an amenity (even if it's in my dreams) by acatalepsy - Mature

“Act normal!” He glares, leaning in close and jabbing his finger at his reflection. “Be normal, Clay.”

He runs the faucet as cold as it can go, splashes freezing water on his face over and over again. Thinks of his grandma and his dead childhood dog. Fucking thinks of Sapnap in a maid costume. Anything.

“Don’t make it weird. Do not make this weird.”

—

Or: Recently Dream has been having some very interesting, well, dreams about his best friend. Go figure. And then, to make matters worse, Twitter just has to get involved.

14 Days in Quarantine by soyfu

George’s eyes scanned the last few lines of the email again, and again, and again.

His eyes were sore from the bright light emitting from his monitor, and he probably hasn’t blinked in a couple of minutes.

Again, and again, and again.

He reread the email frantically, repeatedly clicking open the attachment to ensure that he was seeing things correctly. The dark letters spelling ‘approved’ didn’t change.

It was 4 in the morning and he’d been awake for just over 22 hours, so he was half expecting this to all just be some fatigue-induced hallucination.

So far, things seemed to be real.

--------------------

As George spends his 14 days of government mandated self-isolation alone in a hotel room, long-suppressed feelings start to bubble up, giving him much to think about before finally seeing his best friend's face in person.

the person that sent you this by luckylikeyou

George finally gets the chance to come to Orlando to meet Dream in person. Once he lands, he notices an unassuming TikTok from Dream in his inbox.

"The person that sent you this thinks you're really cute, and if you don't respond to this in the next minute, you have to kiss them."

the spaces between words by effervescentwolf - Explicit

“You should’ve seen him after we finally talked about you moving here.” Sapnap smiles at the memory. “He kissed Patches and he kissed me, on the cheek,” Sapnap adds with a glance in his direction, “and then he immediately called his mom and told her while pacing around the living room, and she knew, you know? Mom instinct.”

“Knew what?” George whispers. Sapnap looks at him for a second.

“He gets touchy,” Sapnap says, but George understands it’s his way of answering his question.

“I once asked him if he had feelings for you.”

-

or George ever so slowly allows himself to be completely and utterly in love with Dream.

suck a dick fallacy by literaphobe - Explicit

Dream has so much he wants to explore about his sexuality, but no one he trusts enough to do it with. Lucky for him, George is finally in Florida. Surely things will be easy enough to figure out between best friends like them.

It ends up spiraling far beyond what either of them could anticipate.

falling into you by effervescentwolf

Dream’s brain is a place full of many wonders and many more excuses, so he opens his mouth and simply says the first thing that comes to his mind, completely seriously.

“I’m in love with you.”

What.

WHAT.

-

or Dream accidentally confesses he's in love with George. The only issue is he isn't. Right?

and alternatively, Dream radiates himbo energy while George takes pity on his massive obliviousness

[clementine-writes-things]

Personal Narrative

Hey guys, I just finished my personal narrative for my English class. It's only the first draft and I will be revising it in the future, but I thought I would share it with you guys <3 I'm very proud of it. The topic I chose was about my autism, how my life was like being undiagnosed, and then after being diagnosed. Word count maximum was 2000 so you know I had to make it 1996 haha. I wish the word count was higher though because it caused me to keep things short and to the point :( Anyways, read if you want to! <3

Autism: Ineffable

            If you were to describe your life in a few words, what would you say? More than likely, you would find this difficult. How can one person fit their entire journey in life so far into mere words? Days, months, years, decades of self-exploration, all shrunk down to miniscule letters. However, I’ve known the answer for quite some time. Lachrymose melancholic euphoria. What may sound like a jumble of fancy words to you, sounds like every day to me. There is a vast difference between each of those words, contradicting the one before it. It's absurd, really, using those words to define your entire life up to this point. But, what else can you say when there is nothing better to use? When I was 15 years old, I loved those three words. Each one of them invoked a feeling within me, indescribable and foreign. I felt attached to the trio, almost as if they were truly apart of me. Undoubtedly, I was correct. Those words become inescapable when you live with autism.

            When I reflect on my life, I find myself remembering small things. Things that seem unimportant and dismissible. Perhaps I try to cherish the nostalgic feeling of naïve innocence. But, below the bandage of nostalgia is a festering and rotting wound that reopens every time I go looking. A childhood that should have been full of pure joy and love was instead overflowing with confusion, dread, and a sense of unbelonging. Why should a child at the gentle age of 7 have to worry about being a ‘normal’ kid? It’s unfair and disappointing to expect a child to try to fit into the standards of society. I felt like something was wrong with me and I didn’t know what. My parents must have thought this too because they had me go to ‘Occupational Therapy’. I cannot recall how old I was exactly, but I was still in elementary school. There were multiple exercises that we did, but I only remember two of them. A large swing with a seat made of colorful rope hung from the ceiling in the middle of the playroom. The child was to sit on the swing and get pushed by the therapist. Its purpose was simple: to help with depth perception. Another exercise was to grab a small toy from inside a mason jar full of beads and marbles. This was to help children get used to different textures. I had no idea what these exercises were supposed to do at the time, all I knew was that I was in a bright colorful room with other kids. Well, eventually I stopped going to that place. After that, it was back to being a ‘normal’ kid. Though, I didn’t behave any differently.

            I wasn’t the ‘easiest’ kid to raise for my parents. Not only was I born with heightened hearing, but I later got diagnosed with ADHD as well. When I got older, I was put on Adderall, and it helped a lot. Things began to calm down, I was able to focus more and play with other kids. Elementary school went by fast, middle school came and went, and then I was in high school. As a child, I saw movies about high school and thought it looked like so much fun. I was eager to make friends, go to dances, join clubs, and have an amazing journey. Of course, that is not what happened. Freshman year was stressful for me, I couldn’t get adjusted to this new experience that I was put into. Everything was foreign and I barely had any classes with my friends. And just when I started to get even remotely comfortable, quarantine happened. Everything went back downhill, spiraling and landing in a fiery crash right before my eyes. By some miracle, I passed my classes, but only barely. Summer rescued me from the pit of sadness that I was slipping into, giving me a few months of happiness. No matter how happy I was though, the unwavering feeling of dread always hung over me. A dark cloud that grew bigger and bigger the more I tried to swat it away. Sophomore year came and I chose to do a different online school. As much as I wanted to do a good job that year, the cloud never left me alone. I procrastinated assignments, never doing any homework. My eyes were constantly glazed with tears and my heart was aching for reasons that I still cannot explain to this day. Eventually, the last month of school came around, and I still had nothing done. Every day for the rest of that month I spent working on school, nose to the grindstone. I was burnt out but was unable to stop, as I would surely fail my classes. It was during this time that I found something that gave me happiness again. And, as silly as it sounds, it was a tv show called ‘Gotham’. I would watch the show while I worked, smiling the entire time as I did so. This show provided an escape from my dire situation, while also giving me motivation. Because of this, I passed all my classes before the deadline. And even though my grades weren’t fantastic, I was still immensely proud of myself for what I had accomplished. The rest of my high school journey was smooth sailing after that. That is, until my senior year.

I paced my room, choked sobs echoing in my ears. Screams wanted to leave my throat, but I found myself incapable of even speaking. I have no real reason as to why I did this, but I ran away. Without telling my parents I went towards the river near my house and started to walk. The sky was starting to get dark, the river blowing up a cool breeze onto my skin. I had no idea what I was doing, but at the same time I did. My parents eventually found out, and I was sent to a behavioral hospital. In all honesty, I still feel like I should be there. I was only there for a week, and they didn’t help me with anything. The only thing they did was give me pills and have me take them. Once I was discharged, my mother told me later that the workers talked to her about me. They had asked if I had autism. Deep down in my heart, I already knew the answer. But it wasn’t until December of that same year, 2022, that I got tested. A few weeks later I got the results back.

            The diagnosis wasn’t the thing that hit me hard. There was absolutely nothing wrong with having autism. It was looking back on my younger self and seeing all the telltale signs that were either ignored or overlooked. It was the fact that I tortured and hated myself over something I had no control over. Something that I didn’t even know I had. That is what broke me. Everyone looks back on their younger self and wishes they did something differently, but I just want to hug myself. All of the times that I would cry myself to sleep because I had a melancholy feeling that was unprecedented, it finally had an explanation. All of the times I would get hyper fixated on a certain show or character so much that it would make me physically ill, finally had an explanation. It was gut-wrenching to know I treated myself because of how I was born.  Desperately trying to change myself to be like everyone else when all I needed to do was be happy with who I was. When I think about that, I can’t help but break down in tears.

            After the diagnosis, I felt like a different person. The diagnosis didn’t change me itself, I decided to change myself. Everything I was embarrassed to indulge in before, scared of getting criticized or made fun of, I was going to finally explore. I even wanted to change my name, hoping to leave behind the old me who deserved so much better. Clementine. A vibrant and cheerful name, reminding me to never think badly of myself again, but to always love myself. I had finally found confidence in myself, even if other people didn’t agree with my choices. My parents, maybe because they didn’t understand the importance of it, didn’t support my name change. I felt uncomfortable to even mention it around them. It is a shame that the people who you expect to love and support you no matter what would turn their back on something so important to you. However, I didn’t let that get me down. I focused on the things that made me happy, not afraid to show my true interest in them anymore.

            Stereotypes followed me wherever I went, whether it was school, with my friends, even my own family. I was constantly being told why I acted the way I did. My mother would send me links to websites, send me inspirational quotes, and would go so far as to tell me how to help myself improve. Now, I knew she meant well, but deep down in my heart I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders, shake her around, and cry out ‘Why don’t you ever ask me?’. All those researchers and doctors, the majority of them didn’t even have autism, and yet everyone collectively agreed that they knew best. Autism is more than being a super genius. It’s more than being a non-verbal ‘idiot’. I was so sick and tired of people telling me why I was the way I was. Because they didn’t know anything about me, and they never would. They will never know why I pace around my room, sobbing violently, making up scenarios in my head to let me escape my life. They will never know why I have the motivation to draw a detailed picture but don’t have the motivation to do a simple chore. They will never know why I obsess and grow emotionally attached to a fictional character so much that it feels like a drug addiction. No one will ever know the reason behind these things, no one besides me. I can guarantee you, reader, that even you will not understand what I am trying to say. It’s impossible. I am fed up with people making autism seem simple and comprehensible.

            The purpose behind my personal narrative is to shed light on how autism is a spectrum. Not one person on it is the same. For me, I find that nothing makes sense, yet everything is clear. Simple tasks are difficult for me, but I can feel emotions that are ineffable. I am 19 years old and do not truly know how to pay taxes, I still need help. I am 19 years old, and I cannot listen to music without tears welling up in my eyes. No, I don’t have my drivers license, but I can tell you everything about the Riddler from DC Universe. I’m not the same as you, I still need help with laundry. But you will never be like me, nor will you know what is on my mind. I’m non-binary, I’m queer, I don’t conform to gender roles, I’m autistic, I’m in love with myself, I cry myself to sleep, and I have emotions that are indescribable. No one defines me except for myself. In a world where I am ostracized, villainized, and called slurs, I smile and show you a picture of my current hyper-fixation. I don’t want to be like you. I am an enigma in your eyes. My body is comprised of colors, music, and nature, swaddled in my flesh. I am ineffable to all; you will never truly understand me. Forever in a state of euphoria, always melancholic, and eternally lachrymose.