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emmyspov · 2 years ago

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Prioritise yourself (Thranduil x Reader)

author's note: happy easter to everyone who celebrates it and a happy weekend to all either way🪻this is honestly one of the most scary things i've posted because it's something so personal that i relate to a lot, but i thought maybe someone else might need it, too🥺 please always remember that nothing will ever be more important than your health and well-being 🩷

warnings: symptoms of burnout, lack of sleep, exhaustion, negative self-talk, skipping meals, mentions of food, nudity (for taking a bath together) - please please please let me know if I forgot something! 🩷

word count: 1.9k

edit is mine, all pics are from pinterest :)

It had seemed like a smart idea when you offered Thranduil to help him with all the paperwork.

His days were filled with meetings and more often than not he only returned to your chambers once it was dark already.

So, for the past few months, you had been - more or less secretly - helping him with whatever you could: sending out invitations to other royals, filing away documents, re-writing contracts so all that would be left to do was sign them.

You were the king's partner after all and you wanted to help him as much as possible. This was your kingdom, your home, as much as it was his, as he regularly reminded you.

Thranduil noticed, obviously. The hours in his study were reduced since most things were taken care of in a perfect way already - he could return to your private rooms right after dinner and spend time with you instead which the Elvenking appreciated immensely.

However, over the past few weeks, things have taken a turn. And Thranduil noticed that, too.

How, on some days, you would get up earlier than him, how you would skip lunch and dinner with him - although it was one of your favorite things since you got to spend it with one another during your otherwise busy schedules - and instead eat by yourself, hunched over some papers. He noticed your tired eyes and dull skin and- lack happiness, to cut it short.

Worry didn't even remotely describe what he was feeling. He felt sick to his stomach when he thought about you being unhappy.

Today was no different.

You had gotten up before sunrise, leaving your husband a little love letter, before entering your own study to take care of all official things.

There was a lot to do. Other elves as much as people from Laketown and even dwarves were sending letters, hoping to schedule a meeting with the king himself to talk over whatever was bothering them.

You made it your mission to answer every single one of them, noting down appointments and also sending out excuses if Thranduil wasn't the right one to talk to when it came to certain matters.

By the end of the day, your head was pounding. You let out a yawn and rubbed your eyes, hoping to relieve some of the pressure behind them, but to no use.

Closing them for only a minute wouldn't hurt. You could still look for your husband afterwards.

A line had been crossed for the Elvenking.

It was the second day in a row that you skipped your shared meals and from what he just learned, you weren't eating them at all.

He needed to talk to you. He wouldn’t - and couldn’t - let you destroy yourself over some work. Your happiness and well being came first and he would make you realise that, no matter the cost.

After reaching your study and receiving no answer to his knocks, he let himself in with determined steps, only to stop abruptly as soon as he saw your sleeping figure. His eyes softened immediately.

"Oh, meleth."

With two big steps, he was by your side, crouching down until he was on eye level with you. Even in your sleep, you looked stressed, your eyebrows scrunched up, reminding him of the times you woke up from a bad dream.

"What are you doing to yourself, hm?"

Gentle, as if you would break like glass if he touched you with too much force, he picked you up and carried you out of the room and into your shared bed chamber where he set you down on the soft mattress and covered you with a fluffy blanket.

Thranduil left the room again for only a few moments so he could blow out the candle in your study and put everything where it belonged. He himself hated to work at a messy desk and didn't want you to deal with the same thing once you would return to work, although he didn't want to think about that yet. For now, you needed rest and all the love and care you could get.

He returned to your bedroom after he spoke to some of his subordinates to let them know neither he nor you would be available in the next three days.

You were still fast asleep, curled up into the blanket. The king walked over to you and slowly began to remove all your uncomfortable clothing before he himself put on a night gown.

Only then did he lay down next to you, carefully maneuvering your body into his arms, your head on his chest. Even in your sleep you wrapped your arm around his waist and entangled your legs, letting out a small sigh.

"Sleep, meleth, you've been working too hard", your husband whispered and brought his delicate fingertips up to brush some hair out of your face before letting them trail down to your back, rubbing some calming circles into your shoulder. "I'll watch over you, I promise."

And Thranduil kept his word.

He stayed up to make sure you slept through the night, occasionally pressing a kiss to your temple or the top of your head while his fingers were always touching you in some way.

It was nearly lunch time when you woke up the next day.

After noticing you were still cuddled up with your husband although the sun was already shining into the room, you immediately sat up.

"I- I overslept, oh Varda, there is so much to do. Why didn’t you wake me, my love?"

With a gentle force, Thranduil pressed you back onto the mattress.

"You've been overworking yourself for weeks and your health and happiness are suffering in return. I told everyone we wouldn't be available for the next few days. For the foreseeable future, we'll only take care of you."

You didn't want to cry. And you tried really hard to keep the tears at bay, but when the Elvenking looked at you with so much love in his eyes, you couldn’t stop them.

"I'm sorry for failing you, my king."

The elf wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. "Oh meleth, no. No, you didn't fail me, you never have. And you never will."

"I can't even take care of myself", you hiccuped, burying your face in the crook of his neck. "It's like the work and the pressure never stop and I'll never be good enough and now I am sitting here, crying to you, a literal king who has way more responsibility than me. I am so sorry to burden you with this."

Thranduil's heart was breaking. He couldn't believe this was how you saw yourself when, to him, you were the most beautiful being in all of Middle Earth.

"You are never a burden to me. Do you hear me? Never. We can fix this. You have to learn how to prioritise yourself. I can teach you. I will teach you. And we will start right now. You must be hungry, what do you want to eat?"

You fumbled around with your hands before looking up at the Elvenking. "Could I have some pancakes?"

Thranduil leaned forward to press a kiss against your nose. "Whatever you want, meleth nîn."

With one swift motion, he got up, put on one of his majestic robes and made his way to the kitchen to order your beloved pancakes and some additional treats as well as some hot and cold beverages.

He returned to your chambers with a first tray of food, watching your face lit up with delight at the sweet smell.

"Here you go, my love. Eat as much as you want and take all the time you need. There are no other things that need to get done today or the next few days."

You nodded and grabbed a plate, happily munching on the food the servants were bringing in over time.

The king was watching you carefully while he himself ate something. It was more than obvious that all the food was good for your mind, body and soul.

You let yourself fall back against the sheets when you were done, letting out a satisfied sigh. "That was good."

"It is about to get better. What do you think of a bath?"

Your eyes lit up. "Right now?"

The elf couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. "Is that what you want?"

You sat up, enthusiastically bouncing on the mattress and nodding your head. "Yes, please!"

Thranduil stood up again and walked into the bathroom, filling the tub with hot water and your favourite bath salts and flower petals before coming back to you.

With ease, he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you off the bed, carrying you into the bathroom.

"Arms up", he ordered gently and removed your clothing, doing the same to himself afterwards.

"You're so handsome", you breathed out as you softly pressed your hand against his chest, right above his heart. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Thranduil's heart started to beat faster under your touch and praise and you smiled, feeling butterflies in your stomach at the fact that you still had this effect on him.

He lifted you into the tub, setting you down and lowering himself behind you, pulling your body flush against his chest.

"I'm the lucky one."

You shook your head before letting it fall back against his shoulder. "You take care of me when I can't do it myself."

The king's deft fingers brushed through your hair, letting them trail down your arm. "We take care of each other. You are the one who decreased my work load so I'd have more time."

You intertwined your hands. "Well, of course. I want you to be well."

A kiss was pressed against the top of your head. "Do you see my point?"

You nodded. "I think I do."

Thranduil let his thumb brush over the back of your hand. "Tomorrow, we can take a walk in the garden and look at all the blossoming flowers. Or we can do whatever else will make you happy."

A smile graced your lips. "Just being with you makes me happy."

Gently, the ellon grabbed your chin and turned your head around so he could kiss you. You melted into his embrace, smiling against his lips.

"Gi melin", he whispered after you two had parted for air and you replied with the same sentiment.

Once you two had soaked in the water for a while, the Elvenking grabbed your shampoo and lathered up his hands before bringing them up to your scalp to work in the product.

The more time you spend like this with your husband - in your little bubble of happiness and safety - the lighter your heart felt.

And it only got better when Thranduil's hands wandered down your head to your neck and shoulders, massaging your tense muscles to help you relax even further.

You shuddered and the king grinned to himself. He was just as pleased as you were earlier that his touch could, still, make you weak in the knees.

"Rest, meleth", he whispered as he continued to work on your upper back. "There will be time to talk about long-term adjustments and solutions, but for now, you can let yourself fall. I'll be there to catch you."

Everything-Taglist: @shadowhuntyi @asgardianhobbit98 @fizzyxcustard

-> if you want to be added or removed from my taglist, just shoot me a message or an ask 🩷

#thranduil #thranduil x reader #thranduil x you #thranduil x y/n #thranduil imagine #elvenking #king of the woodland realm #the hobbit #the hobbit imagine #tolkien #elves #mirkwood #reader insert #please don't hate me for writing him ooc #and for making grammar and spelling mistakes #god why am i so nervous to post this #i'll probably throw my phone away after clicking post now

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autisticlenaluthor · 5 months ago

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Hi, my name is Rory, I’m going to the Eras Tour in Amsterdam on July 5th and if you guys could somehow help me get this to @taylorswift / @taylornation - it would mean so much to me

Three years ago, I went from being perfectly healthy, to watching my body and my health rapidly deteriorate. My entire world got turned upside down— I lost the ability to eat, drink, and even stand for more than a few minutes.

I don't remember much from when I first got sick. But I know I listened to Mr Perfectly Fine on a loop almost every day because it was the only song that could capture how I felt. I've known and loved Taylor's music since I was six-years-old and first heard the album Fearless. i remember the first song I ever heard (love story) like it was yesterday; but somewhere during that time, her music became like therapy for me.

Since 2021, I've been diagnosed with three incurable diseases. two of these are rare, and one is predicted to only get worse with time. I've spent countless days inpatient on the peds floor receiving treatment, tests, and surgeries. And through all of it-- I've leaned heavily on Taylor's music.

My mom bought our Era's tour tickets last summer during the Europe pre-sale. I was in the hospital at the time and immediately told all of my nurses, doctors, dietitians and basically anyone who came into my room, that a year from then, i'd be seeing taylor swift. Whenever I could get out of bed, I was in the playroom with my child life specialists, making friendship bracelets to give out to other Swifties at the show. The thought of going to the Eras Tour singlehandedly kept me going through the hardest time of my life. And it's kept me going ever since.

Months later, I was hospitalized again, right before the release of 1989 TV. I'd been admitted the day after seeing The Eras Tour Movie in theaters (I was in theater 13, row 13!!) and I remember being so relieved that I hadn't had to miss it.

I had become known by most of the nurses as "the Taylor Swift girl” and the night before another procedure, I stayed up until midnight with everyone else so I could listen to 1989 TV. Hearing those songs-- I felt the happiest I'd been in so long. I felt normal again. I was sick and I was alone but I was connected to every other person who'd stayed up with me and that feeling was indescribable.

Taylor gave that to me, and so much more.

Over the course of my journey, I've listened to Sparks Fly to keep me calm while my doctors inserted feeding tubes down my nose. Whenever I have to be put under anesthesia, I have a nurse put her music on shuffle so I can listen to it as I fall asleep. When I had my big surgery in December, the last thing I remember was Bad Blood playing in the OR and saying "this is a funny song to have surgery to".

All of this is to say, Taylor has given me strength and hope during the worst part of my life, and she continues to do so. Her music is truly everything to me and getting to go the the Era's Tour is already a dream come true on it's own. And if it's possible - being able to receive the 22 hat and give Taylor a friendship bracelet would make all of that pain feel worth it. It would mean everything to me.

if you could reblog this and tag @taylorswift and @taylornation I'd appreciate that so much!! thank you to everyone whose read this far, and everyone whose shared this <3

EDIT: I’m going to be in section 119, row 20, seat 11

also if anyone is interested, I included some pics of the mentioned moments below the cut!

seeing the eras tour movie the day before having to be admitted, and then making friendship bracelets for tour in the hospital

the mirrorball is hung in my room for good luck

the bracelets i’d started making in the hospital, right after getting the tickets

and the day of the 1989 TV release - id stayed up until midnight to listen to the album, and then had my anesthesiologist play ‘Style’ for me to play while they put me out for my procedure

#taylor swift #taylornation #the eras tour #swiftie #chronic illness #the tortured poets department #ttpd #1989 taylor's version #speak now taylor’s version #fearless taylor’s version #red taylor’s version #taylor swift eras #boost #rare disease

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jamiebluewind · 5 months ago

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Eclipse the kitten update

(please don't glitch tumblr it's the tenth time I've tried!!!)

Welp! Winter's boy has a respiratory infection. It was causing him to wheeze so to the vet we went! Luckily it wasn't a diaphram issue (which had us worried because of his umbilical hernia). His hernia also came up normal on his x-rays.

(X-rays left out because might bother people, but I can send them on request)

He's on meds several times a day and taking them like a champ, but had to be put in a pen with limited free playtime (because nothing will stop Mr Indestructible from running around the house with all the grace of a car with no breaks). We DID get a reply after just a week from a really nice person who was going to give us one (shocked us let me tell ya because it was BIG dog sized). Unfortunately, they left it outside for us to pick up and someone else just... took it. Right out of their yard. And since all we had was a small cat carrier to keep him in (which was kinda cruel for more than a day or two tops), we ordered a cat playpen that we got for a decent price. We kept looking until it got here, but no luck. Still! It's a nice playpen and we have it set up so he doesn't have to jump if he doesn't want to (plus more vertical to enjoy later on). Sarah's mom also let us borrow her water fountain!

We went to a new vet as ours was booked up (and he had already been wheezing a day). Everyone basically fell in love with him instantly. He left with a little toy from the tech, they gave Winter a jar of honey (one of the people in the office has bees and they wanted to give her something for caring about a kitten that most wouldn't have despite him having a treatable condition), and they've been checking in on how he is recovering (very well since I first typed this actually). He's basically got an entire vet office wrapped around his little paw.

Also, the non-profit we're taking him to for his surgery had a cancelation and his got moved up to the 12th! Counting down the days yall.

Because I gotta kinda mention it, this hit us where it hurts. Between the vet visit and testing, the pen, and the estimated cost for the surgery and followup, it's gonna cost us more than $2k (as long as nothing ELSE goes wrong). We're lucky that we're all super careful with our money, but there's only so much we can save up with three people below the poverty line. Still worth it though. I mean, look at this doofus

He is so stubborn that we can't leave scratch posts upright because he keeps doing THIS! XD

I'm linking Winter's paypal, but I 1000% understand if you can't help out. Still, a reblog and a word or three mean a LOT to all of us so if you got a minute, I'd love some new post additions to show Winter.

(Truth be told, the only reason all the updates are posted on my tumblr is because I'm the longest winded out of the three of us and I take like 5 billion pictures. XD )

Speaking of, there WOULD be a bonus pic of him and his sister (Melanite, aka Miel) playing under my chair as my cat (Danny) looks on from a safe place, but tumblr kept glitching when I added it.

Edit: surgery update

#cats #kitten #eclipse the kitten #umbilical hernia #respiratory infection #sick pets #pet illness #pet surgery mention #vet bill #finances #pet expenses #vet #tumblr glitch

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worthlesstrashgirl · 3 months ago

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How i developed a stalking kink

I was talking to an older man online for a few months, we mostly talked sexually, i enjoyed getting him off, it always made me feel good to know i made him happy. I'd send him pics occasionally, sometimes risky, sometimes just normal pics from my day cos he liked seeing what outfit i was wearing. We were never too personal, we just knew which state each of us lived in. He'd seen me but i'd only seen his cock.

This one Saturday, i woke up and he'd already messaged me and we continued to talk throughout the day. I sent him some pics of me in bed before i got up, i went to the mall and sent him one of my outfit in the mirror of a store. I picked up a new outfit, tried it on and sent him a pic of that too, he said he liked and asked what store it was from, i told him. He showed me him jerking himself off to the picture, which i loved. We talked online again that night and did the usual dirty talk until we came again.

A couple of weeks later, during the week he was bringing up the outfit i'd sent him that day from the store and that he wanted to see me in more of their clothes. He said he'd send me some money to buy some as long as he got to see them, i liked getting him off so i was happy to. He told me to go back there that Saturday.

On that Saturday morning we were talking early again, talking about the kinda stuff i was gonna buy and show him. He asked what i'd be wearing so i showed him, it was some tight jeans and a cute top, he said he wanted to see me in little gym shorts so i put some instead and showed him again, which he liked and told me to wear those for the day instead. I obeyed of course. We kept messaging throughout the day as i tried on outfits, sent him pictures, as i walked around the mall, on the way there and back. I helped him cum again that night.

The next morning i woke up to a message from him with a video, it said 'you looked hot yesterday', i opened the video and it was 6 and a half minutes long, edited down from a much longer period of time. It was video of me walking around the mall, this camera focused on my ass in my tight little shorts, watching my ass sway, inches away from me as i shopped for clothes, as i bent down, a few seconds peeking under the changing room door up at me. I couldn't believe someone could film my ass for so long and i had no idea he was even there, how did i not notice the same man behind me this whole time, was i really that unaware of my surroundings? Apparently so. There were a few minutes unedited of this camera just focused on my ass as i walked, seeing a pov shot of a man stalking me without me having any idea and part of it turned me on, knowing this man had stalked me, watched my ass, how many other men had just stared at my ass without filming it? Or without me knowing? I liked seeing their pov of objectifying me, how men see me, how men enjoy me as i walk around minding my own business.

The last minute of the video was following me onto a bus, standing right next to me, camera almost touching my ass as i see myself just focused on my phone, having no clue this man was even there. Watching me walk off the bus, down a busy street, a time i remember i was messaging this man and he was replying, apparently from right behind me. Then finally the video nears the end as i turn towards my house and walk to my front door, this man keeps walking, moves behind a fence, pans the camera down and takes out his cock, which he strokes a couple times and the video ends.

I've never felt so conflicted, i had so many feelings, one second i was scared, the next i was turned on, the next i thought of all the worst case scenarios that this man knows my address, then how he's pleasured himself to stalking me. Was he outside my house when i made him cum that night? Was he in a local hotel, was he home? He didnt live that far from me. He could obviously tell i'd read it, seen it and it had been like 10 minutes without replying, still trying to process it all, so i get another message 'you liked that didnt you', and i was honest. I said yes. It turned out he'd figured out what store i was in by a phone number on the window in the store from the pic i'd sent him in the mirror. He'd googled it, found it, and wanted me to go back there so he could video me. It just so turned out that he spotted me before either of us even got to the store, so he just starting following me from then.

We kept talking alot for nearly a year, occasionally i'd tell him if i was going somewhere, most of the time it didnt matter, but on a few occasions i'd get another video a day or two after of him spying on me. I was so much more aware, i kept trying to spot men filming me, but i still never noticed him. One of the hottest and most simple vids i got was of me just exiting my house and walking down the street, him zooming on my ass from his car, like he'd been waiting there for god knows how long, then panning down and showing him jerking off until he came.

He never actually did anything to me, never disturbed me, never groped me, never even said hello, just candidly filmed me and showed me it afterwards. I loved to see him pleasure himself to stalking me, he got off to that aspect of it. I got off to it too.

Now i check out stuff like candid tumblrs just wondering if i'll ever see myself on there, has another man ever filmed me? Has he ever posted it for other men to get off to? Is someone getting off to a pov of objectifying me? I hope so.

#cnc stalking #candidcreep #candidbutt #candid #candidbooty #candidteen #stalking fantasy #daddy's good girl #daddy’s wh0re #stupid wh0re #dumb wh0re #daddy k!nk #abuse k1nk #dumb slvt #molest k!nk #molest m3 #rap3 me

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daughterofprofit96 · 6 months ago

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It was ASOCAS this weekend! Danielle Galligan spoke of how Nina helped in how she views herself and in her self-confidence and, because she helped me too, I decided to do a post about it

Insta: rescatedelgrishaverse

Twitter: barrelboss96

Post:

A few weeks back, I went to my mum's to spend the weekend with my family. My little brother, at one moment, came up to me and told me that he was fat and that he hated it.

My youngest brother is 9. He's an adorable, beautiful, brilliant kid, the kind of kid that one moment will tease you and in the next will wrap his arms around you in a tight hug. One day, when he's mature enough, I'll sit down with him and we'll talk about this at length. For now, I tell him what I've always told him: that all that matters is whether he's healthy, that nobody has the right to talk about someone else's body, that I love him very much and that he's absolutely beautiful.

Being almost 30, I definitely feel more comfortable in my own skin. Still, this brought me back to when I was a teenager, of how I didn't want to be only in a bikini when I went to the beach, so I left my shirt and shorts on. It brought me to the comments I hear nowadays from the women around me in my office regarding their 'needs' to go on a esthetic diet or their guilt for eating a snack.

We start consuming entertainment from such a young age. With hype, comes popularity, trends, and so does our desire to look like someone else. Positive body representation in media is absolutely essential.

And there's been enough toxic representation (there shouldn't have been any in the first place!) Off the top of my head, Monica Geller from Friends is represented as someone ridiculed because of the way her body used to look like. Penelope Featherington from Bridgerton is someone we are all reminded constantly of how undesirable she's in the Ton (and do not get me started on that heavily, HEAVILY edited promo pic for season 3)

So, positive representation. Not exaggerating, Nina Zenik is one of the first I've seen. Nina is hilarious, downright gorgeous, sexy, a complete flirt, brilliant, knowledgeable and I'm only just getting started on the beauty of her character. Her body is never discussed. She loves food and that isn't wrong. She's gorgeous and desirable and that's it.

Today, @daniellegalligan_ said at ASOCAS that she learned a lot from Nina. I did as well, and so did many others. To Leigh, to Dani, thank you 🤍

#save shadow and bone #shadow and bone #six of crows #inej ghafa #sombra y hueso #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #amita suman #freddy carter #kaz brekker #nina zenik #danielle galligan #body positive #fantasy #netflix #netflixgeeked #netflixlat

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dmercer91 · 1 year ago

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ebug's sister, dm91

ok, first post where blake is blake!! also, excuse the absolute dumpster fire that is my life, and is the reason that this post is one post and not like 47

last season! (2022-23) part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten / part eleven / part twelve

(2023-24)! part one /

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, adamfantilli and 6,947 others

blakefriarr_: so many things have happened since i last popped up on all your timelines and made them immeasurably better!

this is episode one of season two of i-am-both-the sister-of-the-devils-home-emergency-backup-goaltender-and-also-happen-to-be dating-dawson-mercer-forward-for-the-devils series!

these pictures are in no particular order, because, i am moving into a new place with afore mentioned dawson mercer and have spent the last several weeks making it look like it's not the most depressing back alley murderous apartment any of you have ever laid your eyes on

and apparently, i have a ball ton of stuff!

regardless, here's what i've caught up on;

the entire nhl draft! though i have not acquired any new adoptees, it did come to my attention that the anaheim ducks as an organization did personally victimize me during the 2023 entry draft (they also took a BALLSY amount of time to re-sign bitch one and bitch two. what the literal fuck, dudes). also- if you are seeing this and you need help to flee, blink twice (not you adam) (you know who you are)

2, the entire preseason was also missed while i was one, curing myself from jetlag and the absolute dread of going back to uni and two, moving my egregious amount of shit with a spiteful level of independence. the devils won every preseason game! dawson scored that clusterfuck of a goal on slide two and we also got to see goalie bonks again! (i told you those pics weren't in order and i meant it)

three, (or four, i forgot what came first) quinneth played his first regular season game as captain of the canucks ad they kicked ass against the edmonton dudes. goncrats captain ;p

four (probably) rookie had both his first reg season nhl game AND his birth on the same day! he cried on camera for thousands of viewers and made me question kidnapping his brother and locking him in an abandoned building in ohio (who am i kidding i don't want to be in ohio). the blue jackets have since been doing blue jacket things (losing)

five (it's all blended together these days) the devs started their regular season and now i get to go to the arena and watch in peace as nico makes dumb faces, jack gets into petty scrums and goes to the box (apparently? that ones new.) and dawson does dawson things (be hot)

sixth and finally, assistant coach and captain quinn (he should probably drop a title for his mental health, me thinks) turned 24! i giggled profusely at an edit of him as tracksuit rob. good job on aging, kid 🎉

that's all, i think. (probably not, what do i know)

view 712 comments..

jj.friar31: remember when we were roomies??? siblings defying the odds?? i've been left out to dry. i'm MARINATING in my loneliness. you've basically shot me and left me out for dead, blakey.

→ blakefriarr_: this is a touch dramatic, that's MY thing

→ jj.friar31: if i agree to never steal your dramatics again will you come back

→ blakefriarr_: have u seen how pretty my boyfriend is?? no dude

→ jj.friar31: blake pls

adamfantilli: of every picture you could've used you just decided to screenshot me crying

→ blakefriarr_: hi im blake have we met??

→ adamfantilli: also, do not kidnap luca.

→ blakefriarr_: oh so you just don't want my love?? is that what this is??

→ luca.fantilli: do not kidnap me

→ blakefriarr_: BOOORRRINNNGGGGG

nicohischier: every day i wonder what it would be like if we didn't let the ebug's come into the room

→ blakefriarr_: do you want dawson to be lonely and bitchless

→ nicohischer: yeah kinda??

→ blakefriarr_: oh

jackhughes: why.

→ blakefriarr_ ehehehe your bucket doing weird things

_quinnhughes: ??????? why am i tracksuit rob????

→ blakefriarr_: who else would be tracksuit rob

→ _quinnhughes: nobody needs to be tracksuit rob, friar.

→ _blakefriarr_: WRONG! you do :)

_connorbedard: am i who i are???

→ blakefriarr_: no apparently you are timbaland

→ _connorbedard: oh. okay?

→ adamfantilli: @/_connorbedard you get used to it

→ _connorbedard: do i want to??

→ adamfantilli: eh. 50/50

dawson1417: oh how i've missed the chaos

→ blakefriarr_: fbejdbsjshdghshsb

→ dawson1417: sometimes it's almost like you say words

→ blakefriarr_: :p i love you

→ dawson1417: i love you too, my girl <3

tannercharlotte: this is my reality tv

→ blakefriarr_: i'll leave him for u say the word

→ dawson1417: HEY??

→ blakefriarr_: shhhh baby go sleep

→ tannercharlotte: don't leave him b he doesn't have to know

ryangraves27: she back

→ blakefriarr_: i back!!

nhlblackhawks: ??

→ njdevils: don't '??' her she's right

→ blakefriarr_: thank you (trade for charlie)

→ nyrangers: i can excuse hawks slander but i draw the line at trying to take our char

→ nhlblackhawks: you can excuse hawks slander?

→ jj.friar31: why do teams keep doing this you have ENOUGH leverage over me

trevorzegras: am i bitch one or bitch two

→ trevorzegras: actually yk what don't answer that i don't wanna know

→ blakefriarr_: too bad you're actually both jamie is an angel

view more comments..

#dawson mercer #dawson mercer x reader #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #new jersey devils #young wild & free au !

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royallyprincesslilly · 1 year ago

Text

Title: Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You {One-Shot}**

Title: Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You {One Shot} **

Lewis Hamilton x GF Reader

Warning: Cursing, 18+ Mature Content, Fluff, NSFW, Smut

Words: 4.7

Synopsis: You are Lewis' date to the opening night of his LH44 Charity Gala. It is a night of performances and interviews, and you are in awe of your man. You find yourself mesmerized by him the entire night.

Note: This was inspired by the above picture and further sparked by a song, Lauryn Hill's version of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You”. It fit so well. I won't lie the above picture even had me stop and state for a few minutes. Lol.

As always, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy this.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

***Pic Not My Own, Found on Pinterest***

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。

You had the perfect view from where you stood. You were across the ballroom surrounded by at least a dozen people all talking to you about something of importance to them, how wonderful the evening was going, how amazing you looked, or how spectacular the man of the hour was. Your man.

Tonight was the first-ever charity gala event for LH44 charity, and it was also the first official outing for you and Lewis as a couple. You'd tried to talk him out of it but he deemed tonight fitting to be your official announcement because it was also the charity's official opening night. Tonight would be an endeavor of love with performances, speeches, and spoken word all done by the youth from underserved communities in hopes of spreading diversity and improving representation where it counts. Lewis thought there would be no better night than tonight, a labor of love from both ends.

The more you thought about how he'd proposed the idea, your heart fluttered. You loved this man more and more every day and you knew soon you would be an absolute goner.

"Did you know he is the most charitable athlete?"

A gorgeous woman in rose gold whispered to her friends who nodded looking equally as impressed as those around her who'd heard. It was true. Once he was ranked in the top 5 of generous athletes but now he'd surpassed even that. Your heart expanded with the pride you felt. He served the praise and admiration he got.

The clamor of voices begging for a moment of his time and attention got louder and drew your attention. There he was standing in front of rows of reporters who were holding out mics and cameras to catch every word he said.

The man always held everyone captivated when he was around. Always. You watched him talk with his hands fastened behind his back and you nearly went weak in the knees. The orange he wore only brightened his face and the perfect lighting made him look ethereal--angelic even. You gawked at him marveling at his gorgeousness. Sometimes you couldn't believe there existed a man as pretty as he was. It was unfair really.

The butterflies in your gut took flight again for the umpteenth time tonight. It seemed only seconds passed between moments he took your breath away. Heaven help you, you could possibly already be a goner.

Just then, Lewis' eyes trailed around the room as he spoke and landed right on you. You released a soft gasp as you pressed your palm to your stomach. A slow smile spread his lips before he winked at you and that was it. From this moment forward this man would have an unfair hold and advantage over you.

You tried to tear your eyes away but couldn't so like a stalker you stood there staring at him. You didn't know how long you remained that way but the next thing you knew he was standing before you. He leaned closer and brushed his lips against the shell of your ear.

"Mmm," he moaned, "Rose, Gardenia, vanilla, and brown sugar. Your scent has been following me all night, kitten. I've craved it," he whispered.

He'd craved your scent? You nearly scoffed. It was hovering on embarrassing how much you craved his. Lewis took your hand, laced his fingers with yours then smiled.

"Are you all right, kitten?"

You nodded, unable to think straight much less get words out. He smiled again then led you through the crowds toward the tables. Everyone you passed you both nodded your head and smiled. Once at the table, Lewis pulled out your chair and allowed you to sit before pushing it in. He then joined you, sidling a little closer than the predetermined location the chair had been.

You smelled his cologne, and it infiltrated your senses having an almost mind-numbing effect. Your thighs parted slightly just as your breathing picked up. In only half a second you felt like you'd run a 1000-meter sprint with the best of track and field.

"I can't get over how enthralling you look tonight. I thought we'd look like 2 Sesame Street characters in this orange, but you make me look good."

You snorted.

"Damn right I do. Orange just might be your new color, love," you flirted as you softly caressed his cheek.

Lewis's smile was adorable as he took in the compliment. When he turned to kiss your palm your belly flipped yet again making you take a sharp intake of breath.

"Are you all right?"

Swallowing back down your heart that had leaped into your throat, you nodded.

"I'm super proud of you is all."

Lewis leaned closer making a direct line for your lips, but a sweet tiny voice called for him.

"Mr. Hamilton?"

To his other side stood an adorable girl about 7 or 8 with a timid smile on her face. Lewis gave your hand an apologetic squeeze before he turned to her with the brightest smile.

"Well hello there pretty girl."

A small crowd gathered around to watch the interaction and every face looked even more enamored with him than before. You watched the girl give him a bouquet of flowers, yellow sunflowers surrounded by multi-colored wildflowers, and a photo album that was filled with pictures she'd drawn and painted, all of him.

Her mother let Lewis know that the girl was a huge fan of his and never missed a race no matter what and how inspiring he'd been to her. She went on to thank him for his charity work because he was the reason the girl, Azbeka, was able to study at a prestigious school.

Your eyes stung with unshed tears at how stinking cute all of this was. Lewis asked the girl if he could hug her then melted when she threw her arms around him. Collectively, the crowd let out an "aww" which made you melt. As you felt your ovaries painfully beg for the essence of him, you grabbed your glass of champagne and chugged it down hoping to douse the sudden onslaught of feels that made you crave a tiny replica of him to cradle in your arms.

There will be none of that, Y/N, you said to yourself in your head, determined not to let your body work against you. Not tonight. If you fell prey tonight of all nights you knew you'd end up the mother of Lewis Hamilton’s firstborn. Crossing your legs you held on tightly to what remained of your wits.

As the night progressed you listened to the heartfelt stories of those in attendance, watched musical performances, and even heard speeches from those who had been greatly benefited by Lewis' charity. The smile on Lewis' face never slipped. With every performance and every personalized account, he looked happier and happier, and the more he smiled the brighter he glowed.

You were so enraptured by him that no one else managed to get much of your attention. Several people joked about the way you stared at him which made you hide behind your hands from embarrassment. Every time someone brought it up, Lewis' large hand found its way to grip your thigh where the split of your dress fell open. Every time he did that your belly flipped.

Halfway through the night when you felt him squeeze you again, you knew that he knew his effect from the glint in his eyes. Lewis licked his lips then slyly bit his bottom lip.

"You're awfully quiet, kitten. Are you sure you're all right?"

You leaned to his ear then whispered, "You're just too good to be true. I can't take my eyes off of you. It feels like heaven when we touch. I can't wait to hold you. This thing that we found and that's finally ours--I just thank god I'm alive because I can't take my eyes off of you."

When your eyes met his you saw the thin veil of water welling in them, then he clenched his jaw right before his Adam's apple bobbed.

"Ehm."

He lifted your hand to his lips then peppered kisses across your knuckles. Across the way, someone called his name then beckoned him over. He raised a finger in the air indicating for the party to give him a moment then he leaned to you.

"I love you so much."

Your heart once again launched itself into your throat. You'd imagined when those words would come out of his mouth for the first time. You wondered if it would be when you were entangled in each other's arms, doing mundane things like cooking together or working out, or even when you were around friends and family. You hadn't imagined it would be when you were surrounded by hundreds of people with eyes and cameras on you for one of the most important nights for his foundation.

You pouted and fought the tears that wanted freedom. Lewis stared deeply into your eyes overcome with emotions that were plain to see on his face. As you were about to speak his name was called again. He cleared his throat then dabbed the corner of his eye.

"I have to go."

You nodded and watched him walk away. Every few steps he looked back at you as if he thought you'd slip out on him now that the words had been said. Did he think you didn't feel the same? The thought was almost unbelievable. He was Lewis Hamilton. Everyone loved him. Everyone. There was no shortage of people who tried to get in with him and get under him.

As he did yet another interview you watched as his eyes found yours every couple of sentences. Even from where you sat, you could see the love in his eyes, and you couldn't believe it. He loved you. He really loved you. This wasn't just sex, or companionship. This wasn't him trying to work you out of his system or no strings attached. It was something more, much more.

The longer you sat with his love confession the giddier you became. You wanted him to know how you felt too. However, at every opportunity he was called or whisked away by a cute kid or an eager interviewer making it impossible for you to tell him.

When the crowd of women that were around you broke apart you saw him laughing with a few of his friends that had come out to support him. That was when you slinked across the ballroom with your eyes on the prize--him. When you were right behind him you motioned for his friends to not tell him. Then you wrapped your arm around his midsection resting your palm on his abs. You resisted the urge to feel him up then grazed your lips against his ear. Lewis's body tensed but then relaxed after a few moments as if his body knew it was you.

"I love you,” you whispered.

Your voice came out breathy and low, it was easy to miss but when he spun around to look at you, you knew he'd heard you. He didn't speak, there was no need for words. He just stared into your eyes as if searching them for a lie, but you knew he wouldn't find one. You meant these words. You felt them with every fiber of your being.

Slowly Lewis smiled and then began to chuckle until it turned into an adorable giggle. Then the two of you stood there giggling together as if you were 3-year-olds who'd just shared the silliest secret.

After that, the rest of the event went by in a blur. You were officially on cloud 15, fuck 9. You felt like you'd drank all the champagne in the place. By the time you left and made it back to Lewis' your hand was tightly clasped within his making you giddy with feelings. There was something about when he held your hand that made you feel safe and taken care of.

When his lips found yours in the bathroom as you stepped into the path of one of the many shower heads, you moaned. Lewis wrapped his arms around you holding you against his body. The kiss was passionate and so damn sensual that you quickly got lost not caring that your hair was full-on wet. When he pressed your back to the expensive stone wall, he wasted no time lifting you against him.

"Do you know how many pictures there are of me just staring at you?"

Lewis snorted.

"Are there a lot?"

"Too many. It's so embarrassing."

Lewis peppered kisses down your neck as he rocked his hips rubbing himself against your already wet center.

"Can't believe you have room to feel anything besides this right now. I must not be doing my job right," he said as he took your nipple between his teeth.

You threw your head back and groaned out.

"Oh, Lewis."

Before he claimed your lips, "That's what I thought," fell from his.

The time for talking was done. His lips claimed you with expertise like they'd been crafted for this particular purpose. Raking your fingers down his back you scraped his flesh making him moan against your lips which of course reverberated right between your legs.

"Mmm!"

When Lewis cupped your breasts he rolled your nipple between his thumb and forefinger using the slickness of the water to aid his glide.

"So fuckin' perfect," he mumbled.

Your eyes met and the fire you felt within was what you saw in his orbs. You couldn't wait anymore.

"Fuck me, Lewis."

He grinned then licked your nipple before he sucked in the peak. "You are definitely nowhere near needy enough for me to fuck you."

You tried to reach down between your bodies to fist his need, but he beat you by pressing the smooth hard mass right against your mound igniting a flame right in your clit.

"Fuck!”

"Good girls say please."

"Please," you panted as he circled his hips.

"How bad do you want my dick, kitten?"

You bit down on the spot where his neck and shoulder met making him grunt. His body jerked and for the briefest of moments, you felt the tip of his erection dip between your folds.

"Ha, yes!”

The pleasure was short-lived because Lewis pulled free then lowered you in the same breath. In seconds, you were face to face with the stone wall as Lewis pressed his hard cock against the swells of your ass sending your cheek pressing into the cool surface.

"Your ass is a thing of beauty."

To push him over the edge you wined your lower half then popped your hips sending each ass cheek shaking.

"Mm."

A heavy hand fell onto your ass spanking you once, twice then a third time. Lewis then gripped your hips as he rocked forward nudging his hard cock between your ass cheeks. It was a sight you had to see, so you glanced over your shoulder and watched him buck back and forth. Each thrust forward gave you a peek-a-book look at the swollen tip of his length and the mushroom tip held you captivated.

"Mm, you look so good between my ass baby."

In response, Lewis pushed down on his shaft allowing it to drop down onto your bottom with a heavy and wet-sounding "thwack".

"Whose ass was that?"

You smiled. "Yours baby. It's all yours."

With a sinister grin, he dropped down then spread your cheeks before burying his face between your legs.

"Oh fuck baby!”

His intention wasn't to tease you or to prepare you for him but to drive you absolutely bat shit crazy. As his tongue laved at your folds he sloppily slurped your flesh using the water that cascaded down your body to aid in producing the nastiest sounds that even a porno would be jealous of.

Your fingers scraped at the wall desperately trying to find something to hold on to as he ravished your pleasure trove. However, there was nothing to hold onto, nothing to keep you from exploding so that was what you did. Exploded.

You came all over his mouth shaking as the wetness gushing out of you competed with the spray from the showerheads. Lewis moaned and slurped up every drop then stood looking like the Cheshire cat who had time for a drink. He was soaked and from the way he licked his lips, he looked like he was ready for more.

When he pressed himself against you again he cupped your breasts.

"You taste like champagne and mangos. Fuck I can't wait to bury myself so deep inside of you that you can't breathe or think."

Holy shit you thought envisioning just that. Just when you were about to take matters into your own hands you smelled his body wash just before Lewis began giving you a very special bath. He used the excuse of getting you clean as a front to feel you up and tease every single part of your body. By the time he was directing you under the showerhead, you were more than ready to return the favor.

While wrapped in a cocoon of his scent you slowly rubbed his body making sure to get every nook, slope, and sliver of skin. The milky suds clung to him and as they evaporated slid down the toned muscles that he'd worked so hard for. When you whirled around to do his back, your inner thoughts slipped out.

"For fuck's sake you're beautiful."

Lewis chuckled then pulled your arms around him so you were pressed against his back.

"Me?"

You trapped his ear lobe between your teeth then nibbled down making him moan. Slowly your hands dipped down his abs until you found the treasure at the end of the pleasure trail. Taking your time, you fisted him then stroked along his length, up and down, up and down.

When he dropped his head back a long groan echoed in the shower. "Fuuuck, Y/N!”

"Mmm, you like that? Like the way my hand holds you just right? Like how I know just what you need?"

Your hand sped thanks to those milky suds that had made their way down his body. In a matter of seconds, he was moaning, grunting, and mumbling your name until suddenly he spun you into the water.

As it cascaded down your bodies washing the soap from your flesh, Lewis' lips found yours, and his fingers found your clit.

"Mmm."

From his actions, you could tell he wasn't trying to tease you. He was trying to make you cum, and you knew you were but seconds from doing just that.

Your breathing became ragged and uneven, and your hips bucked against his fingers needing more than he was giving. That was when Lewis pinched your clit and your body shot upward. If it weren't for Lewis' hand holding the back of your neck keeping your face in front of his you would have physically shot through the ceiling and roof and then into the night sky.

"Aaah!"

"Holy fuck, you're so fucking beautiful when you cum, kitten. That's it!"

The next thing you knew you were in his arms then on your back across the softest sheets ever. You moaned and writhed as you rode the wave of your orgasm, indulging in the way your skin tingled. It all felt so unreal. This man took you over the edge unlike any other before. In your aroused haze you stared at him and tailed his wet body pressing him to memory. You didn't want to forget not even an inch of him. You wanted to be in the middle of a meeting when a sudden flash of this moment attacks you turning you into a smirking mess until you had to excuse yourself to video him to knock one out.

Your eyes locked on his engorged length and your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. He was perfect. Long, thick, and completely intimidating. If you were faint of heart you would have flustered and looked away worrying how you'd ever take him. Luckily you weren't faint of heart. You knew how to take him now. You were a pro.

"See something you like?"

You grinned. "Nope. I see something I love on someone I love."

Those words were all it took for baby girl Lewis to appear. He smirked until he smiled then giggled. How adorable. As he laid on top of you, his knee nudged your thighs apart making room for himself to rest between them.

"Mmm."

A squeal left you as he nipped at your nipple, raking his teeth over the pebbled bud. You wrapped your arms around his neck and held him right there. Lewis took the hint and intensified the pain he delivered with your pleasure.

"Fuck," you panted out wrapping your legs around his waist.

It may not have been what he intended but the strength of your thighs never lied and with it you sent him plunging deeply into your heat.

"Aah,” the two of you exclaimed in unison.

As the pleasure he felt intensified so did his bite around your nipple. Just when you were about to shout out from the pain Lewis pulled his hips back and slammed into you for the second time. Any pain you felt evaporated and morphed into indescribable pleasure. Clenching around him, you came as you bucked against him using his body to heighten your climax. His cock within nudged that hidden bundle of nerves you clenched tighter and tighter around him. The friction against your clit from your writhing brought you closer and closer to another galaxy.

"Uuuugh shit!"

A second orgasm washed over you and Lewis quickly pulled from your body and flung himself onto his back.

"For the love of....fuck!"

He lay there gripping the base of his cock as his head angled back. He looked as if he were being tortured but deliciously rather than unscrupulously. You smiled, then flung a leg over him before sinking down, down, down until every inch of him was snugly fit between your tight walls.

"Mmm," Lewis released watching where your bodies were joined.

"Are you trying to kill me, kitten?"

You rocked your hips making your body roll like a wave coming into the coast on the evening tides. Lewis' eyes roamed over your body quickly falling under its spell. You knew what he liked and often used that knowledge to make him do the thing he hated...cum quick.

Sensing your intention, Lewis groaned and gripped your hips stopping them. You smirked.

"I see my kitten wants to play."

You watched him lick his lips in the sinful way he always did and just like that you lost your train of thought. You sat there atop him just staring at him and again you were mesmerized by his beauty. All movement ceased and the only desire you had was to just watch him. Underneath you, Lewis nudged his hips up giving you a reminder you didn't need that you were completely filled and in the middle of something.

"This dick won't ride itself, kitten."

You snorted then groaned. This was getting ridiculous now.

"This is getting ridiculous now."

He smiled. "What? Can't keep your eyes off ya' man?"

"Shut up it's not funny."

Lewis sat up, clipped your chin between his pointer and thumb, and looked deeply into your eyes. With a luscious peck, he claimed your lips making you moan.

"It's cute. I love when you stare at me. I love when I look across a room and see you looking at me or searching the room for me. I do the same thing it's just you only notice it sometimes the other times you're doing your own thing and I am just awestruck because I got the baddest one. I am as obsessed with you as you are with me. Sometimes I think a little more so."

He brought his lips to your jaw then down to your neck. A moan escaped you as you got lost in his lips on your skin.

"Mmm, Lewis."

"Yes, kitten."

"I love you."

He brought his face back to yours and stared into your eyes.

"I love you too kitten. Promise you'll stay."

You crushed your lips to his then rocked against him making him moan against your lips. With every flick of your hips your body was rewarded with a new wave of pleasure and with each wave of pleasure you used it to make him say your name.

"Fuck, Y/N," he whispered as he dropped his head back bracing himself on his elbows.

In this position, you decided to give him the show he so deserved. You rocked and rolled your hips against him in circles then swirls then a chaotic pattern that kept him on his toes. Within minutes he was groaning and biting down on his lips as he watched every move you made.

When you began bouncing on him his eyes locked on where your bodies joined. You knew you were beyond waterfall wet but you didn't care, you didn't give one fuck that the room was filled with the sound of your wetness squelching from every movement you made. You didn't care that you moaned wildly and panted his name every time he met you halfway sending himself deeper than you thought possible. You didn't give one fuck that you knew tomorrow you'd be sore from the pounding you were giving yourself. All that you cared about was this moment with him and the depth of your feelings for one another finally coming together in the most primal and basic way. The levels of your love for one another were the purest of all.

"God you're gonna make me cum," Lewis declared.

You grabbed his face ensuring he kept his eyes on yours as you raced to meet him at the point of no return. When he flicked his hips upward that was it, the entire solar system exploded and all you saw was the stardust left behind.

"Lewis!”

"Y/N!"

Names spoken in unison led to colliding bodies. With you on top of him, Lewis wrapped his arms around you enveloping you in his warmth and scent branding you in this intimate way. While you loved making love with him you also loved this part just as much. His post-coital cuddles were world class.

"I am so far gone for you and you don't even realize it. You don’t realize how in awe I am of you. You know I like control and always have tight control over myself and emotions but I am always in over my head when it comes to controlling just what it is that you do to me. I am a complete simp for you Y/N. Complete. I can barely hide it and it’s become the joke of the paddock whenever you come around or you're brought up. You're not alone in this. You have me, all of me and I'll never take my eyes off of you."

You lifted your head and gazed into the deep wells of amber that were his eyes and melted. You wanted to say so much more to that but what else was there to say? Lewis' thumb flicked away a lone tear then he pulled you back to his chest so you could hear the source and force of his love for you. And that was what lulled you to sleep. The sound of his love racing for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#can't take my eyes off of you one shot #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton blurb #lewis hamilton imagines #sir lewis hamilton

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pleasantlyinsincere · 2 years ago

Text

John and Julian (and Cyn) through the '70s

Last edited on 8 October 2023. All edits listed at the end. Text in between [ ] are my thoughts.

Since John and Yoko had moved into Tittenhurst in August '69 Julian often spend weekends with them there.

"And then I'd live for the weekends I spent with my dad and his new love Yoko at Ascot. My feeling toward their relationship was helped by the way I was treated. I was given incredibly expansive toys to play with and there was always something happening." Julian, 1982

Cynthia describes that she was relieved that Julian got on reasonably well with Yoko, but she was concerned by some of the more bizarre stories of what was going on at Tittenhurst park.

"One of the hardest aspects of letting Julian visit John was accepting that Yoko would presumably look after him when he was there. I didn't know what he would make of her cool manner. But in fact he seemed fine with it, and perhaps it was better for him to have a rather distant step-mother than one who was all over him. He never told me that she was unkind in any way, which was a relief. After that first weekend Peter rang regularly to arrange visits for Julian. Much to my amusement Julian had started to call Yoko Hokey-Cokey." Cynthia Lennon: John, p.314

Photos of Julian at Tittenhurst in 31 January 1970. [John and Yoko only returned from Denmark January 27th, so Julian came to see them the first weekend back.]

Rest of the timeline including pics, quotes and audio behind the cut because it got ridiculously long.

23 February 1970

An article is published in the Evening Post talking about Julian and Kyoko. It mentions that in 1969 there were four months that father and son didn't get to see each other and also spent Christmas apart.

Some quotes from John:

"Julian, last time I saw him, was a bit too protected, like all kids are. It took him two weeks to unwind, when he was last with us." "I'm not a daddy with a set of bricks to play with. When I'm with the kids, they just come along with me and be with me, whatever I'm doing." Link to article

March 1970

Over the New Year John and Yoko had spent some weeks in Denmark with Tony Cox, his new partner and Kyoko. That arrangement had worked quite well and it seems it motivated John and Yoko to try to get closer with Cynthia and Roberto also. It seems in the end not much came of these good intentions.

Up until now, when Julian came to spend the weekend at Tittenhurst Park, it was Les Anthony who shuttled him back and forth between his parents. However, shortly after their return from Denmark, John and Yoko made a conscious effort to spend time with Julian, Cynthia and her fiancé Roberto Bassanini. John later remarked: "All five of us ate together and we saw to it that the children see us all together. Maybe six of us will go on vacation with Kyoko. Julian, Cyn and Roberto, so that everyone feels secure. That's very important. In order to have peace, it's necessary to start inside the family." Lennonology, source L'Express [3/23/70]

Instead John and Yoko left for LA 23 April 1970 to undergo Primal Scream therapy with Janov. They stayed for almost five months in the US and returned to England 15 September 1970.

June 7th, 1970

While John and Yoko are in LA doing their therapy with Janov. One of the topics discussed was John's troubled relationship with his son.

The meeting, which Vivian Janov describes as 'a very strong emotional day for him,' had taken place in April, and John was making an effort to maintain communication with his son. From Los Angeles, John posted a card to Julian today: 'I'm sorry I haven't called or written much. I've been a little sick. We miss you a lot, and send you our love... won't be long till I see you'. Lennonology

After the return from the US in September Julian continued to regularly visit Tittenhurst. During those visits he usually played a lot with Les Anthonys four stepchildren, who at the time were also living on the estate.

"Once Dad had a little white shed built on an island in the middle of a lake on the grounds of the house. He had bought these little white amphi-cars that sped across the lake. The three of us all dressed in white to spend the day there. Crazy, but wonderful."Julian, 1982

In this interview Julian describes going over to Tittenhurst just to be an idiot with his dad but also how scary the big house and his bedroom situation could be to him at night.

[The floorplan of Tittenhurst (LINK) actually shows Julian's room just across the hallway from John and Yoko's room but half a stairway down. There's not really a closer bedroom and he may have been put there, so that he has his own bathroom. It being so far away, small (somewhere he or Cynthia call the room a closet) and scary are after all the memories from a child's point of view.]

For the most part the visitation arrangements seemed to have continued in 1971. In the summer, when John and Yoko were filming for the imagine documentary, Julian can be seen roaming the property with his friends.

Saturday, July 17th, 1971 With the cameras rolling, John and Yoko roamed the Tittenhurst Park grounds in a golf cart with Jill Johnston. As promised, Blue Pools delivered the new lake house, and the Lennons spotted location. More footage was taken of the house under construction, the Lennons and Johnston rowing on the lake, and Julian and the neighbor children reading excerpts from Grapefruit on camera and running amok in the fields. Lennonology

Lennonology

Julian Lennon: Tittenhurst was this enormous palace-like place with 99 acres, golf-cart buggies, a lake, a little island in the middle of the lake. It was like a house of fun. It was wonderful. I loved the place.

LINK to a longer version of the quote but in German. Not adding much just both John and Julian sharing a mutual love for Dr. Pepper at the time, playing the mellotron and the children daring each other to enter a 'haunted' building on the property.

It's also at Tittenhurst that Julian meets May Pang, who had started working for John and Yoko as an assistant through ABKCO in NY and had come to England as a messenger to bring film rolls.

"There were a lot of great moments at Tittenhurst that I do fondly remember, you know, giggling and laughing with Dad. And, as they say, shooting the shit. But it was difficult to know, you think, 'OK, well, is this going to stay? Is this what it's going to be, now? Can I count on this? Can I be here next weekend or the weekend after? Is that going to happen?' That was one of the, obviously, the hardest pill to swallow, was the constant change. You know, you thought things were going to settle down, but they just never quite did." Julian, 2018

"I lived an ideal life between then [Cyn and Roberto] and John and Yoko, but it all ended when Cynthia's marriage broke up and Dad and Yoko moved to the States." Julian, 1982

The big cut happens when on August 12th 1971 John and Yoko leave for NY and take up residence in the St. Regis Hotel.

At first their plan was to search for Kyoko, so that she too could come for visits at Tittenhurst like Julian. In September John and Yoko appeared on the Dick Cavett show and briefly talked about their wish that both their children could be with them.

youtube

Maybe a Christmas present:

Christie's auction

[In her Lost Weekend doc, May talks about Julian calling and Yoko not allowing her to put the call through to John. She says at that point they hadn't spoken for a couple of years. Then a few weeks later she is in the audience for George Harrison's appearance on Dick Cavett. The show is aired in November '71, so if there is anything to her anecdote she may mean they hadn't seen each other for two months instead of two years.]

26 May '72

"Lennon admits that he is scared to say too much publicly about the case, because it was the initial publicity that had spurred Cox to vanish. He talks about how hard it is for Ono to see pictures of her daughter: I have to hide them. Asked about his own son, Julian, he says: I don't have that 'where the hell is he?' bit. But he reveals that when they were in England, and Julian visited them every weekend, it was difficult for Ono to be with him when her own daughter wasn't there: It was killing her." source

28 May '72

Cynthia quoted in a Sunday paper: "John hasn't seen Julian since he went to America. It is rather a long time. He seems to be occupied with Yoko's daughter now. He does write to Julian, just normal letters, asking how he is getting on at school and things like that. And he sends him presents. He sent him a toy truck at Christmas. I don't keep in touch with John anymore. It's purely through Julian that we keep in contact. Julian loves his father. He follows his career in the newspapers. He goes to a private boys' school where people don't bother who he is. He went to a state school but he had problems there."

14 June '72

Cyn's complaints are repeated in the LA times, where it said that John hadn't seen Julian in eight months. "He seems to be occupied with Yoko's daughter now."

On 22 September '73 John and May leave for LA and only a few days later on 2 October '73 it is reported in the newspaper that Cyn separated from Roberto Bassanini.

Cynthia gave some interviews on her recent separation and the fact that she and Julian moved back to Hoylake, where Julian goes to private school.

"Unhappily Julian misses his father, which is only natural. We only hear from John at Christmas and when the birthdays come around." 7 October '73, Sunday Mirror

"Julian is always asking after him but of course John is in America now. It's been hard for him not seeing John for several years. This sort of thing is naturally upsetting for a child." 7 October '73, Sunday People

According to May's book, while John had broken up with her, she went to the Dakota to be with Yoko. Yoko there told her that she had decided it was time for Julian to come for a visit and May should at least reunite with John for that period to help him with it. May agreed to go back to John for two weeks, but it ends up being more like a year.

Christmas gift '73

To Julian from Daddy Christmas 1973

[Julian has sold an NFT of the black guitar. LINK ]

Shortly after Christmas '73 Julian and Cyn travel to LA to spend his school holidays with his father. They stay at least until the Happy Days taping they visit together on 5 February '74.

During the over a month long visit May writes, that they went to Disneyland three times and had brunch together the first morning. Meanwhile John is still having some wild times. Since Julian is staying with Cynthia, he goes out with May. The Kotex incident and nearly killing Jesse Ed Davis happen at the same time of this visit. May also places Cynthia asking John to have another child together during this trip.

As the visit ends May makes John promise to call Julian regularly.

"It is the right thing to do. I promise you, Fung Yee." He was silent for a while, then John said suddenly, "I really would like to keep in touch with me son." May Pang, Loving John p.168

Julian too, took a lot of positive out of the meetings around this time.

"Mum and I flew out to the States and stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel. At least Mum did, I spend every minute of every day with my Dad and Yoko. " Julian, 1982

In later recollections Julian correctly puts the first visit in the time-frame that John was with May.

“Dad and I got on a great deal better than,” recalls Julian. “We had a lot of fun, laughed a lot and had a great time in general when he was with May Pang.” Julian in The Times, June 13 2009

May Pang: Loving John. About this visit and how it was set up.

In April 74 Julian sends a Thank you tape to John and Yoko for his birthday gift. Even though John is with May at this time, the present it seems was sent from the married couple.

The present in question according to Julian was a guitar, decorated with a mirror, writing and other stuff:

John writes to Cyn 22 June '74 a typed letter asking about Julian's holiday plans. Interestingly as the return address he gives the Dakota. He wants to send May to bring Julian.

19/20-25 July 1974 Instead of being collected by May, Julian sails with Elton John, Tony King, and Cyn per boat from Southampton to New York.

[In her book Cynthia wrongly remembers this as her first visit with John in the US. She also claims this visit was completely her initiative, which as proven by the letter wasn't the case. The whole anecdote is interesting however because she says that it was never the plan to stay with Julian, John and May but stay in NY with Jenny Boyd. Jenny apparently wasn't told about that plan, because in the end she wasn't there to home Cynthia. (May on the other hand remembers that Cynthia was staying with friends but they left without her and she was lonely, so she ended up coming with them.) In the end (and to John probably rightly or wrongly suspiciously) what was planned as just a trip for Julian with his dad turned into Cynthia coming along most of the time.]

Cynthia'a account about how this meeting was set-up and why she was with them during the trip.

Tony King in The Tastemaker simply writes: “John Lennon wanted to see his son, so I took Julian and John’s ex-wife Cynthia along with me.”

August 6th '74

John, May, Cyn and Julian return to LA for John to record Goodnight Vienna with Ringo.

In the summer while working on Walls and Bridges Julian visits the studio. He records Ya Ya with his dad.

Little interview bit with Julian about being in the studio.

August 19th, 1974

John and May take a trip to Denver. Instead of coming with them Julian stays with Cyn in LA.

When the whole vacation is coming to a close, it is decided that Julian should come for another visit for Christmas. John is clear that he wants him to come alone.

Both May Pang and Cynthia wrote about this visit in their memoirs. [Cynthia is clearly mixing up and merging the first and second trip together in her recollection of it.]

Cynthia's account.

May's account.

December 19th, 1974

Julian, accompanied by Apple staffer Steve Brendell, arrived in NY on this day for Christmas with John and May. Mimi was also invited but declined to come.

While they were in NY Yoko also came by because she wanted to greet Julian.

John, May and Julian flew to Florida on December 22. Lennon said he accepted Levy's Florida invitation "because I was so worn out anyway" from back-to-back studio projects "that I didn't know what to do with my son Julian." John figured that at Disney World, "I could sort of sit in a room or something and Julian could play with Morris's kid." John's quotes are from his trial testimony Big Seven Music Corp, 75Civ, 1116; In Stan Soocher Baby You're a Rich Man, Suing the Beatles for Fun and Money

Until 29 December they spent time in Palm Beach and later returned to Orlando (Disney World).

During this visit, Julian was helpful in influencing John and George making up and the thus the dissolution agreement of the Beatles coming along.

Julian remembers his Christmas visit with John and May fondly: “My memories of that time with Dad and May are very clear - they were the happiest time I can remember with them.” Julian in The Times, June 13 2009

May Pang in Loving John on this visit.

Cynthia writes about this visit in her book.

youtube

Video from May Pang's Lost Weekend documentary. [She says Long Island but I guess it's Palm Beach.]

In early February 1975 John moves back into the Dakota and resumes his marriage with Yoko.

John gives an interview to SPIN magazine in early spring 1975. In it he is asked about his private life, his recent return to Yoko, what his relationship with May is like now, and also about Julian:

How about you as a father? How old is your son [Julian] now? He is 11 now. All I know is that you took him to Disneyworld … right? Yeah, that was hell. Disneyland was better, the first time, in L.A., I took him there. Because I went with a gang, and there were a few of us who were flying a little. But Disneyworld — I was there on the most crowded day of the year, around Christmas or something. Seeing him is good. What we do is irrelevant. I went through a period of, “What are we gonna do?” and all that crap. It doesn’t really matter. As long as he’s around. Cause I don’t see him that often. How is it for an 11-year-old boy to have John Lennon as a father? It must be hell. Does he talk about that to you? No, because he is a Beatle fan. I mean, what do you expect?? I think he likes Paul better than me … I have the funny feeling he wishes Paul was his dad. But unfortunately he got me … It must be hard to be son of anybody. He is a bright kid and he’s into music. I didn’t encourage him, but he’s already got a band in school. But they sing rock’n’roll songs, ’cause their teacher is my age. So he teaches them “Long Tall Sally” and a couple of Beatles numbers. He likes Barry White and he likes Gilbert O’ Sullivan. He likes Queen, though I haven’t heard them yet. He turns me on to music. I call him and he says, “Have you heard Queen?” and I say “No, what is it?” I’ve heard of them. I’ve seen the guy … the one who looks like Hitler playing a piano … Sparks? I’ve seen Sparks on American TV. So I call him and say, “Have you seen Sparks? Hitler on the piano?” and he says, “No. They are alright. But have you seen Queen?” and I say “What’s Queen?” and then he tells me. His age group is hipper to music … at 11 I was aware of music, but not too much.

Link to the SPIN interview

March 11th 1975

John is interviewed by Bob Harris on The Old Grey Whistle Test. He sends greetings to Julian, Mimi and the rest of his family in England.

unknown

30 July 1975

About Julian ... I'm lucky if I see/hear from him myself. She allowed him over here twice last year ... but insisted on coming herself! You can imagine how thrilling that was ... she thought she could walk back in coz I wasn't with yoko!! Now we're back together again she stops him phoning me ... which he did a lot last year ... once a week. He's a bright little boy ... a bit 'sneaky' like his dad ... but he's gonna need that to survive his mother! Our relationship is pretty good --- he knows where I am and what my life is like ... he thinks of me a litlle too much in terms of 'money' etc ... which is what cyn and her mother (so called) have taught him (by example). He will run right to me when he's older ... we all run somewhere ... so I can wait. I got him well hooked on America ... which isan extraordinary place to say the least ... more on that in other letters perhaps. Oh yes the baby is due in November! Conceived feb 6. I tried to send Julia to see julian ... she was given the cold shoulder. When I get to England I'll show you them both. I would love to see yours. Letter to Leila, John Lennon Letters edited by Hunter Davies

After only five months being back with Yoko, communication with Julian has become more sporadic again. To his cousin Leila John complains that it's Cynthia keeping Julian from calling and about her tagging along the previous year. He also claims that he sent Julia to check in on Julian.

Julia Baird in a '83 interview confirms John's claim to Leila, that he hadn't heard from Julian and sent his little sister to check up on him.

"He kept asking in letters and on the phone, 'Please will you go and see Julian? Will you go and see Julian? Will you go see and see Julian? I haven't heard from Julian. His mother's got a cob on. Can you please go and see what's going on?' [...] Anyway eventually Aaron persuaded me that I should go. He was the one that when we got another letter asking, 'Have you been to see Julian yet?', he said, 'Look, he's never asked you to do anything. I think you should go.' [...] We went and John had given us the address, I didn't know where it was. And she seemed very embarrassed to see me. In fact so much so, that I backed off. I just said, 'Is Julian there, please? I'd like to see him.' And she said, 'No, he's gone out.' And I just said, 'Well goodbye, then.' It was very odd, very bizarre."

In her memoir Cyn doesn't mention John sending family to check on them but has an opposing recollection of who was unreachable:

"Initially he did: he phoned Julian as before, every few weeks. But the calls became less frequent, and all too often when Julian tried to phone John he couldn't get through. Yoko, or one of their employees, would tell him that John was sleeping or busy. Discouraged, Julian would wait weeks before trying again. " Cynthia Lennon, John p. 346

1 May '76

Cyn marries John Twist. John and Yoko send a telegram: "Congratulations, good luck, God bless the three of you, John and Yoko.”

According to Cynthia a few weeks later John calls her to invite Julian over for a visit during the school holidays to meet his brother. Yoko and John take the children for a holiday to Long Island. Cynthia also writes that Julian was mugged during his stay in NY, when John told him to go out by himself to buy a harmonica he wanted.

Photos of Julian with John and Yoko in summer 1976.

The only other person I have read mention the '76 visit is John Green in Dakota Days.

As the apartment at the Dakota grew more crowded, John retreated to the quieter and more spacious southern shore of Long Island. He took Sean with him and brought Julian over from Britain. Yoko kept him posted with a barrage of phone calls. "How goes the war, Charles?" he chimed into the receiver. "No casualties so far. How goes the peace?" "Great. It's absolutely beautiful. I've got a bit of sea and a bit of green and my sons, and even once in a while I even have my wife. You should come out here and get some of this. It's delightful." Dakota Days, p.97

[Aside from Cynthia's and Green's brief mentions of the trip, there is very little information on this NY visit. Even Robert Rosen, who supposedly read John's diaries multiple times, has nothing to say about this or the '77 visits. He even claims repeatedly that Julian and John first reunited in 1979 and hadn't seen each other for four years at that point.]

One of Julian's memories that most likely fits this visit:

Julian first played piano when he was thirteen, visiting his father and Yoko in Montauk, Long Island, after Sean, his half brother, was born. Their next-door neighbor had a piano, and Julian and his father went there one day. Lennon played a couple of tunes, then Julian asked, "Can I have a go?" Julian to Rolling Stone, 1985

Another one that Julian doesn't connect to a date but he remembers the new situation after his little brother was born:

[Yoko] was very loving towards me, even after their son Sean was born. Right at the beginning I felt a few pangs. They were there with their own son. Where did I fit in? But every time I went over Dad would lay on amazing treats, and Yoko was always loving towards me." Julian, 1982

In the same interview Julian also tells the story of his dad offering him a joint when he was about 12, so that might have also been the '76 visit, or the '74/'75 Christmas visit.

Cynthia claims she had trouble getting the money she was supposed to use for Julian's school. She asked John to split the trust fund, so that she can withdraw money from it easier. John agreed.

Cynthia publishes the letter in her book John and calls it "cautious, polite and to the point":

"I explained that, as he and Yoko were out of the country, it was impossibly difficult for me to get at Julian's money: 'Nothing can proceed without your signature - it means I'm forever overdrawn at the bank and have to wait on the convenience of your lawyers ... I want the best for Julian, and his standard of life shouldn't suffer because of lack of good management on your part, which has been happening since the fund was set up ... The money, instead of having doubled through good investment, is dwindling through lack of interest on your part ... It's just so important that this whole arrangement is sorted out without animosity or aggravation ... The way things are going Julian's financial prospects when he is 25 will be virtually nil and he is going to want to know why... It is one thing fighting for your rights but totally ridiculous fighting against your own son's interests, which is what seems to be happening.' "

[She says she ends the letter with thanking them for arranging the Concorde flight for Julian last summer. However according to wiki Concorde didn't fly to NYC until November 1977. (That years Christmas John and Yoko do indeed book a Concorde flight for Julian.) So I suspect that her supposed letter is specifically written for her book and not an actual document as the presentation suggests.]

In mid-October Cynthia gives an interview to Woman magazine that also got picked up in multiple newspapers. In it she talks about their relationship splitting after their first LSD trip, John getting upset with Julian when he couldn't eat with a knife, alleges that she was being followed by a private detective in Italy,...

A report on the article in the Burton Daily Mail from 19 October '76 also quotes Cynthia as saying:

"Since then their relationship has been beautiful," she says. "They talk a lot on the phone, there've been other visits and he's going again this year. I believe now that John is completely off all drugs, has been off them for years, otherwise I'd never let Julian go."

[He's going again this year indicates that there was another visit planned in 1976. If that happened or fell through, I haven't found anything about that.]

October 25th, 76

John sends Julian a postcard from Singapore. “What happened to ya?”

Even though the previous few months there was a visit and positive communication about the finances, Cynthia's decision to publicly complain in the papers angered John. He responded on November 26th 1976 with an open letter in the Daily Mail.

"Lennon tells first wife: Stop blaming Yoko," it read: "As you and I well know, our marriage was over long before the advent of LSD or Yoko Ono. Your memory is impaired to say the least. Your version of our first LSD trips is rather vague. You seem to have forgotten subsequent trips altogether. You also seem to have forgotten that only two years ago, while I was separated from Yoko Ono, you suddenly brought Julian to see me in Los Angeles after three years of silence. During that visit you didn't allow me to be alone with him for one moment. You even asked me to remarry you and give you another child 'for Julian's sake.' I politely told you no and that anyway I was still in love with Yoko. Finally, I don't blame you for wanting to get away from your Beatle past, but if you are serious about it you should try to avoid talking to and posing for magazines and newspapers. We did have some good years so dwell on them for a change."

Cynthia answers to the press after this, saying she doesn't want them to throw mud at each other and repeated "All I want to do is forget the Beatles and enjoy my present life". Still, only a few months later in 1977 she starts to write A Twist of Lennon (allegedly gleefully on a typewriter Yoko had gifted Julian). In her later memoir John she writes she was persuaded to do it by her husband John Twist who believed it would make their fortune.

Julian is sent to boarding school for that time. [In her book John Cynthia explicitly remembers that she moved to Ireland to write. However newspaper reports from the time suggest that the move happened later. So, probably Julian wasn't boarding at this time but those months in '78.]

At the same time communication between John and Julian was happening regularly and according to his diaries he got excited by the idea of buying Julian a keyboard.

July 14th, 1977

December 25th 1977

Julian comes by Concorde to stay at the Dakota during his school holidays.

[At the time of Julian's visit John and Yoko were still helped by the FBI to deal with the kidnapping threat and extortion attempt that had been going on for weeks and scared them badly. Also, Tony Cox had made contact by phone and agreed that Kyoko could visit for these holidays but then disappeared again and John would never hear again from Kyoko. I don't know if Julian was told any of this but I assume it probably was one of the more tense christmases.]

Going by Giuliano because neither Cynthia nor Robert Rosen mention this trip by Julian at all, John was very excited about Julian coming getting up early and baking bread for him. Julian gets close to Nishi and thereby brings forth John's competitive streak. John tries out the parental philosophy of wanting to spend time with Julian instead of giving him material goods, Julian goes 'oh, really' and John caves in. When he leaves John draws a portrait of Julian. Source

[Since Robert Rosen, who also read the diaries, doesn't even know about the '76 or '77 visits (and Giuliano too thinks they saw each other last at Disney World), they may not be the source for the above. I thought it might have been from Dakota Days but it's not. John Green mentions the '77 Christmas visit but says the family were going to Florida to meet Julian there because of the security threats. I think Green is confusing this and a later visit, so I will insert his account of what John told him on returning there.]

Julian stays most of January. Goes to see the musical The Magic Show with Yoko and the band Riff-Raff with John.

In February of 1978 Cynthia and her husband sell their house and move away from Ruthin to Eire to avoid a 'wealth tax'. They leave Julian to be a boarder at his school. Cynthia and John Twist return in December, probably because they missed Julian.

April 1978

[It's not actually dated aside from being from 1978, I just assume the guitar was Julian's birthday gift.]

GIBSON Les Paul 25/50 guitar

"Dad gave me this special order rare model - it was always exciting to receive something like this from my dad. When I visited Dad we would sit down together and he would teach me a few chords and help me improve my technique." Julian in Beatles Memorabilia. The Julian Lennon Collection.

May 19th 1978

A conversation with Cyn and excerpts from her memoir A Twist of Lennon are published in News of the World.

John, Yoko and Sean are in Japan for their summer vacation. Through his London lawyers John tries to stop the publication of Cynthia's book as a serial in the News Of The World.

Tuesday, June 13th, 1978 Having been telephoned in Japan with the details of Cynthia's memoir excerpt in News Of The World, John instructed his solicitors to issue a High Court injunction in an effort to prevent the publication of a planned second installment. Frere Cholmeley & Co., Lennon's attorney in London, described the piece as 'a salacious and gribby little article,' although it was qualified with the statement: 'He does not deny that he held parties or took drugs, but he deplores the publication of intimate details of his married life.' Friday, June 16th, 1978 In the case of Lennon v. News Group Newspapers Ltd and Twist, Lord Denning rejected John's application for an injunction in London's High Court today, permitting the publication of more excerpts from A Twist Of Lennon. For his par, Denning was not impresses with John's argument that the article's publication was a breach of confidence of the marriage: 'I cannot see that either of these two parties have had much regard for the sanctity of marriage ... It seems to me as plain as can be that the relationship of these parties has ceases to be their own private affair. They themselves have put it into the public domain.' Sunday, June 18th, 1978 Having successfully defended the right to publish excerpts from A Twist Of Lennon, today's edition of News Of The World featured part two of their series: 'How Yoko stole my husband.' " Lennonology

When the book actually was released feelings turned out to be much softer than expected. Cyn ends her first memoir with the words :

I still feel very proud of the Beatles and their accomplishments. My life during that period was an education, an education I wouldn't have missed. It has left me feeling enriched, not embittered, enlightened not blinded. All I can think to conclude my story is to say, 'Thanks for the memories, and in the words of the I CHING, no blame.'"

After finishing reading his ex-wife's book, according to Robert Rosen, John was relieved and enjoyed the nostalgia. He said a prayer for Cyn: "Dear God, please show her The Way. Thank You. Thank You."

Postcard to Julian:

[I can't make out the date on the card. Julian's Beatles memorabilia book says it's from '71 but that's obviously wrong with Sean being included and Julian's Ruthin address on it. John makes the reference to being a farmer. They bought their farm in February 1978, so I put it that year. May be wrong though.]

March 21st 1979

Julian is supposed to join John, Sean and Yoko's visiting nieces in Palm Beach.

[John taking a photo of Julian in '79]

There are multiple, very different accounts for this visit, that includes Julian's 16th birthday celebration.

John bought Julian a motorcycle for his birthday.

At one point they went to Disney World, (which none of the accounts of the trip even mention), where this photo of Julian and Yoko's nieces was taken:

Accounts from:

Robert Rosen [Rosen writes that Dan Richter's children came for a visit. Correction: I said before that that because Dan wrote in his book that he never saw John again after 1974, it seemes unlikely to me that his kids would be sent out to John and Yoko five years later. However Dan Richter does confirm that in his interview on the Podcast Glass Onion: On John Lennon episode 16:

"My kids would go down, they had a place down in Palm Beach or whatever it was down in Florida. And they were there at Christmas and bring Julian and they would fly my kids down to play with Julian. And everybody, the sense we got was they were happy!"

This visit doesn't happen over Christmas but it sounds like he is talking about more than one occasion that happened and probably Christmas is one example. Could also mean that Rosen is mixing up the occasion for that anecdote.]

Cynthia Lennon

Fred Seaman

Geoffrey Giuliano

John Green [Green puts this actually to the '77 holiday visit, where he wrongly writes they went to Florida. I think (if his stories are to be believed at all) he confuses John's anger and disappointment upon return with this visit of Julian's. It also fits with being in Florida.]

[I recommend to read all of them. Lots of drama. I may one day make a comparison post between all the account because they are fascinatingly different.]

April 9th 1979

John writes to Mimi saying Julian would be welcome to live with them if he so chose but there had been no arrangements made.

Q: Did you ever plan to go and live with him [John] in New York? Julian: "When I was in my early teens we'd spoken on the phone about the possibility of me going to college over there. I think it was wishful thinking on both our parts because I felt uncomfortable about the situation and I believe he did, too." Hello! Magazine, 1995

April 25th 1979, Postcard to Julian from NY:

Julian declines to join his dad, Yoko and Sean for their family's yearly vacation in Japan.

[July 1979 In the context of getting one of his guitars Julian said that John bought him a Sony Walkman as a gift when they were brand-new. He puts around '73-'74. However according to wikipedia the Sony Walkman was first sold in July '79, so that present would have been sent to Julian around this time, maybe directly from Japan.]

December 1979

On 3rd-4th December there is a two part feature in the Daily Mail called "The Sons of the Beatles" on Julian and Zak.

"When I'm in New York, we go out quite a lot together round some of the art galleries, or to his house at Long Island. When we stay in we have musical jam sessions together singing out latest songs to each other. I still listen to Beatles music. Although I quite like some of my father's solo albums, I much prefer what he did with the Beatles." (quoted from Lennonology p. 508)

Also that month:

"More disturbing to John were the ongoing trials with Julian. The sullen teen continued to vex his father with his on-again, off-again plans to visit over Christmas. At first Julian said maybe, as long as they didn't go to Florida. Then it was a flat no, using school exams and a new girlfriend as an excuse. At the last minute he called saying he would come to New York only if he could bring a friend, but Yoko turned him down. As usual John didn't challenge her. Julian retaliated by sending his father a tabloid article about rock stars' sons, which focused on both him and Ringo's son Zak Starkey, and went into detail about the trials of being the offspring of a Beatle." Lennon in America by Giuliano p. 218

On the other hand John Green does write that Julian spent Christmas '79 with John, Yoko and Sean. He even says that Julian stayed until February. ("John stayed in the Palm Beach house until February, luxuriating in the sun and sea, forging new ties with Julian and delighting in rediscoveries of himself." p.229) [This can't be true however because John was definitely in NY for Christmas and New Years. John and Yoko did buy a house in Palm Beach late January however and were spotted there a few times in February. I can't find a mention of Julian being spotted with them, so it may or may not have happened. I do think between the two of them Giuliano's account is probably more accurate. The Daily Mail article he mentions of Zak and Julian had come out on 3 or 4 December, so that is also believable that it had come up in pre-christmas discussions. But of course it's possible that a visit happened anyway.]

1980

Julian called in February 1980 to set up another meeting with his dad. This time John denied him, surprisingly because he was worried about Julian's schooling. Through Cynthia he had learned that Julian was failing his O-levels, had started smoking, staying out at night drinking, had gotten in trouble with the police for setting up fires and racing through town on a dirt bike. "John just prayed that Julian didn't hurt himself." There is also continued conflict over money. John felt that Julian every time they spoke asked him for more money. "And though John continued to feel guilty about having abandoned Julian and Cynthia, he'd be damned if he was going to be like every other rich asshole father who'd abandoned his family and then used money as a poor substitute for love and companionship." source

In March 'A Twist of Lennon' gets its paperback release and new reviews are printed in the press.

Summer 1980

When John sat for a portrait painting with Sean for the artist Nancy Gosnell, he wondered if she could also do one of him and Julian from a photograph. He wanted to give him a father and son portrait for his birthday, according to Fred Seaman.

September 1980

PLAYBOY: "Your son, Julian, from your first marriage must be in his teens. Have you seen him over the years?" LENNON: "Well, Cyn got possession, or whatever you call it. I got rights to see him on his holidays and all that business, and at least there's an open line still going. It's not the best relationship between father and son, but it is there. He's 17 now. Julian and I will have a relationship in the future. Over the years, he's been able to see through the Beatle image and to see through the image that his mother will have given him, subconsciously or consciously. He's interested in girls and autobikes now. I'm just sort of a figure in the sky, but he's obliged to communicate with me, even when he probably doesn't want to." PLAYBOY: "You're being very honest about your feelings toward him to the point of saying that Sean is your first child. Are you concerned about hurting him?" LENNON: "I'm not going to lie to Julian. Ninety percent of the people on this planet, especially in the West, were born out of a bottle of whiskey on a Saturday night, and there was no intent to have children. So 90 percent of us... that includes everybody... were accidents. I don't know anybody who was a planned child. All of us were Saturday-night specials. Julian is in the majority, along with me and everybody else. Sean is a planned child, and therein lies the difference. I don't love Julian any less as a child. He's still my son, whether he came from a bottle of whiskey or because they didn't have pills in those days. He's here, he belongs to me and he always will."

Playboy: I was under the impression that you still weren't seeing Julian much. Lennon: Well, no, he's comin' here over shortly now. I see him whenever he get's off school. Playboy: Has it been hard for him to be John Lennon's kid? Lennon: Yeah, he has his own... Everybody has a cross to bear, and Julian has that cross, and he'll deal with it. He's a clever boy, and as he gets older we can communicate and he'll understand.

[I wasn't sure what upcoming visit John is referring to since I couldn't find one mentioned anywhere. However there is an article in the Daily Mirror from 8 October 1980 including interview passages with Cynthia that mentions Julian currently being in New York. So without any photographic evidence, he isn't in any of the birthday photos, or anecdotes about it, there still might be the possibility that there was a (pre-)birthday visit from Julian to John and Sean in 1980. Julian himself hasn't been completely consistent on when he last saw his Dad. He has said that his '79 birthday visit was their last meeting (which I think is most likely correct), but he also claimed that he was flying out regularly.]

"According to Cynthia, Julian, now 18, plays guitar better than his father. He has left school and is off to New York to stay with his famous dad." Link to the article

In an interview with Jonathan Cott on 5 December John reflects more on the troubles of being a Beatle's son and on how mistakes in his decision for Julian's schooling changed his outlook on his plans for Sean. [Julian had been going to private school since at least 1973.]

"[...] because he can't possibly be an average child, being the son of famous parents. I tried that game with my son Julian, sending him to a comprehensive working-class school, mixing with the people, but the people spat and shit on him, because he was famous, as people are wont to do. So his mother had to finally turn around and tell me to piss off: 'I'm sending him to a private school, the kid is suffering here.' "

Cynthia writes that by the end of 1980 Julian felt a breakthrough in his and his father's relationship. John played Julian songs from his new album over the phone, asking his opinions. source

Julian himself reflects on his and his dad's relationship by the time of his death like this:

"I know that dad's presence will be around for a long time. He was always joking, always sounded happy, which made me think more of him as a friend than a dad. My earliest memory of my father was when I was about three and he sang happy birthday to me. We were living at Weybridge, Surrey, and dad threw a birthday party for me and brought in a long cake shaped like a train and festooned with candles." Sunday Mirror, 5 April 1981

As early as 1982 negative feelings would influence Julian's memory, saying he didn't get to see his father for five years, that he only heard on Birthdays and Christmas from him or that after the first US visit it was again years before he got to go another time, when it was merely months.

"The Beatles sang 'All You Need Is Love' - and that is all I wanted from Dad. It is difficult to explain why I should feel so strongly, when we shared so little. Never once in all the years he lived in America did he even think about coming to see me. Apart from rare visits, I lived from birthdays to Christmas just to hear from him." Julian, 1982

[Those false memories/presentations may have been the result of his beginning break from Yoko around that time and the conflicts about money, or maybe his memories just adapted to the way it was talked about in his family.]

"It was more of one man to another than the usual father and son relationship, because he had been away from me a lot, and he said he realized that. I was just getting through to him and growing up myself and growing out of the silly giggling I did as a young teenager that really annoyed him, when Dad was killed." Julian quoted in Ray Coleman's John bio, pp.620

"Dad was such an influence in my life, it must have been hard on Mum. She'd do her best with presents at birthdays and Christmas, but I always waited for that special present that was bigger than anything else - from him. Yet he never sent anything spontaneously. He'd phone up and ask what I wanted, and it would arrive. I don't think he was trying to buy me in any way. It was just a chance for him to do something for me. He knew I wanted to be a musician and kept telling me to take a long time to get it right. He removed a lot of the stress I suppose other kids might feel. I didn't do very well at school. I don't think I'm dense, but I suppose I'm a bit lazy. There's only one thing I want - to know for sure that Dad loved me as much as I loved him. Or maybe to have him back." Julian, 1982

Edits: 29 April - December 1974 John trial quote added; September 1980 Playboy interview quote added 6 May - added Julian quote about relationship to his father by the time of his death 7 May - added Old Grey Whistle Test clip March 11th 1975 18 May - added info about 3-4 December '79 Daily Mail feature on Julian and Zak, added all the info I could find on any visits in John Green's Dakota Days and multiple notes on to those mentions. 20 May - added Cyn's quote for 28 May 1972. 23 June - added the Tittenhurst floorplan and the link to an extended quote from Julian about being there in German 8 July - added quote from 5 Dec 1980 to Jonathan Cott 20 July - added Julia Baird audio on trying to see Julian for John 1975 22 July - added info on a possible 1980 visit, 1973 interviews, 1976 info, 1980's quote 30 July - Spin interview '75 added, Cynthia quote from Burton Daily Mail '76 added 1 August - added bits from Julian's 1982 article throughout, transcribed some of the jpg quotes, so that I may add more photos, some photos added 4 August - correction in my comments about the likelihood of Dan Richter's children being with them in 1979 19 August - Box of Smile 8 October - Added some postcards, the guitars, reset some photographs because of the picture limit 12 November - Added the video clip from May Pang's doc

#i was suddenly getting nervous that this will just disappear from my drafts. that would annoy me so much. so it get's posted NOW.#i will add stuff to it as i find it but that's how i always do timelines. fill them up over time. and this is already massive.#i just wanted to date one damn thing and this is what happened...#thoughts in progress #john lennon #julian lennon #Youtube

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sweetmariihs2 · 5 months ago

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Since I got a Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney movie mostly) hyperfocus I've been wondering about some stuff:

Quasimodo poured molten bronze from the top of the cathedral onto the people below, especially Frollo.

1 - He didn't cared about the innocent citizens down there which is weird for his character - maybe it was the stress idk. Or he just knew that the closest ones from the cathedral were the guards, which is where the bronze would fall. But it could have spilled on anyone. Weird.

2 - In the following morning there was no molten bronze (or smoke, or even the stage where Frollo tried to burn Esmeralda) on the square anymore. And everyone was fine?

3 - Why was there molten bronze in Notre Dame, specially in that place? I don't know much about the Middle Ages but it doesn't seem normal for that fire to be lit all the time, it would be a waste of time and firewood. Logically, it would only be melted when a bell needed to be repaired, and Quasimodo was stuck in those chains since they got out of the Court Of Miracles, probably. So it makes no sense.

4 - Poor boy was probably starving there. It was the next day. (Edit: or maybe the Court Of Miracles scene just happened at the previous day 11:00 PM and the fire scene happened at the next day 03:00 AM, who knows?)

5 - I only heard it was molten bronze. First time I watched I got so confused, I'm pretty sure that they didn't said that on the movie. Also, I never heard about churches having that kind of dangerous material inside them. People fixed the bells there? People made them there? Help I'm so confused. Can someone answer me? With real pics please? I tried to make a research but couldn't find anything.

I would also point out that Frollo standed on a gargoyle he HIMSELF had cut in the middle. He dug his own grave. lmao. you can see the cut mark of the sword on the gargoyle next to his feet. I think that's not really obvious and someone out there didn't got it. I only did after like my fourth watch.

Something I also wonder is if the archdeacon told Quasimodo the full story of what Frollo did to his mother. And yes, you may think "of course, I would love to see it that way, Quasimodo deserves to know", and while I agree with you... imagine how he would feel when knowing that the archdeacon knew the truth for years and kept it from him. Let Frollo lie to him, let Frollo abuse him and tell him that his mother abandoned him because he looked like a monster, for years, years and years. He wouldn't be fine. I can only think about his rage when Frollo tried to stab him at the end of the movie or when Phoebus appeared right after Esmeralda escaped from Notre Dame. Poor boy would never be able to look at that archdeacon's face again.

Why did the archdeacon let Frollo just take care of Quasimodo after what Frollo did?! He clearly didn't wanted to take care of the baby, the archdeacon just pushed little Quasi onto his hands for Quasi to suffer! When someone is denying something, they may do it but they'll do it grudgingly. If it was something stupid than it would be fine, but that's a whole life in his hands. The archdeacon just forced abuse on Quasi for years. What did he thought? That because Frollo felt guilty he would be a good father? He knows Frollo's character and saw how reckless he acted with that child's life. And even worse, he could have stopped it. But no, he saw Quasimodo suffering for 20 years and just let it happen.

Just found this on pinterest:

THE GARGOYLES ARE ALIVE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS. I also love them. Idc.

We see them interact with the environment around them all the time, mostly during the rebellion in front of Notre Dame by the end of the movie. I know that the sequel is not really good and maybe not even canon but Madeline sees them too. "They can be both schizophrenic" at the same time and seeing/hearing the same stuff? No way. Shut up I won't hear anyone out.

Quasimodo's pure heart and sweet - insecure behavior doesn't come from Frollo's childrearing. It comes from the Gargoyles and the insecurity Frollo buried into Quasi's head.

If Quasimodo was only raised by Frollo, he would be a thrash bag. He would have prejudice against the romani people, instead of just repeating in doubt what Frollo says during the scene where he shows the cathedral's terrace to Esmeralda. He also wouldn't be that sweet kind of guy who covers his view when suddently bumps into a girl changing her clothes. Basically he would be cruel and stupid, just like how Esmeralda said "How could such a cruel man have raised someone like you?"

And the answer is that: He didn't! Frollo taught him everything he needed to know, brought him food, and then left him alone for the rest of the day like we see him doing in the movie. You know who raised Quasimodo? The gargoyles. It's them who turned him into someone sweet and nice to have around. They're his adoptive parents in a way, you know?

And I also think that idea of them never showing themselves to humans but seeing that poor boy being left alone in that belltower made them want to do something about it. Make him some company, and teach him the right stuff - which is what Frollo wasn't doing right, just like everything else he does.

And I'M SURE, I JUST KNOW THAT IT WAS LAVERNE WHO DECIDED TO DO IT FIRST. She tried to convince Hugo and Victor about starting to help little Quasi, but they were afraid of doing it so. Laverne just said "you know what? I can't keep watching this in silence. Fuck it" and they just went along.

Also, something I learned in practice was that when you make someone insecure, convinces that person to believe they're less than anyone else and that they're stupid, dumb and ugly, this person tends to be extra nice to get approval of others. They don't even do it on purpose, the're just trying to make up for their appearence and stupidness through acts of kindess and service. And if that's done to them since a young age like it was done to Quasimodo, they do it unintentionally, and it turns into a personality trait. In a "I'm sorry for being like this. Let me make up for you" way. Like Quasimodo said "I know that I'm ugly", and in my opinion that's one of the worse ilnesses someone can have. It's not even a real ilness, and yet it's so damn hard to cure. Lmao that's totally not based on something I experienced, of course not. That's exactly why I absolutely don't kin Quasimodo. Of course not.

Children come into the world with a natural desire to discover and explore. To make Quasimodo so quiet and submissive, Frollo must have given the worst kinds of punishments to "discipline" him. He probably hit him more than once. Locked him somewhere? Maybe worse, Frollo tends to be quite creative when punishing innocent people. He broke all of Quasi's stuff he made for weeks, maybe years, just to scare him, and because he was angry.

It makes me even more worried to see how Quasi reacts to Frollo everytime they're together. He just reacts with fear and respect every time. Fear, mostly fear. What kinds of things hasn't this boy endured by disobeying or responding in a way that didn't pleased Frollo? To have to pick up the plates correctly and immediately sit down to study, and call him his "master" instead of just "Frollo".

I would also like to point out how Frollo stopped calling Quasimodo "Quasimodo" and started calling him "hunchback" closer to the end of the movie. That's how he sees him after all these years. A dumb, ugly and miserable guy who obeys him and is not even seen as a human. Have you ever watched The Goonies? You know that guy? Yes, that guy? I think that Frollo sees Quasi like this. The novel version reinforces this even more, with Quasimodo not being able to hear and barely talking.

I also headcanon that Disney's Quasimodo is still a bit deaf because of the bells. He can still hear, but lower. Sometimes his friends need to call his name twice.

And now these thoughts deserve a whole part of the post to discuss (Frollo and Esmeralda centered):

Frollo was probably considered ANCIENT because the life expectancy during medieval times was around 25-30 years. The guy was at his 66 years old.

1 - I know that in the book he's described as being afraid of woman, and a priest, so it made sense that he wasn't married. But that didn't happened in the movie. And as a (pervert) 66 yo old man, christian, white, powerful (judge and I still headcanon him as a fiefdom owner in the movie idc it makes sense in my head), traditional, who claims he's the only right person in the world and who does all kinds of atrocities, and who literally threatens (and tries) to kill Esmeralda if she refuses to "be his". Why didn't he had a wife? I mean, he could manipulate a woman or anyone for that matter if he wanted someone to... yk. I want to discuss more about this in the following topic.

What did Frollo meant when he said "Choose me or the fire"? I mean, there were three meanings for that quote in that context: "be in love with me", "hook up with me" or "be my wife (both, except that she would be stuck with him forever, and that's probably what he meant)"

Since he's a traditional christian guy and probably a sexist too based off his character, it would only made sense that he's the kind of guy to say "the man provides, the housewifes do the house chores and take care of the children".

As we see in 'Hellfire', he seems to support the purity culture, celibacy. And he's blaming himself for feeling attraction towards Esmeralda.

But this also can be for two reasons: because he choose celibacy, OR because she's a romani girl, which are people you know he despises. Or it can be both. That's also a doubt of mine.

Continuing my train of thought and taking this into consideration, Frollo feels extremely guilty for feeling attracted to her, and he claims "Destroy Esmeralda and let her taste the fires of hell; Or else let her be mine and mine alone" (I know you sang it).

Based off this, and knowing that Frollo is a radical (and hypocrite, but somehow he refuses to accept his lust for a long time) conservative christian, it would only made sense he would consummate after wedding. And by his word choices "let her be mine and mine alone", "choose me or the fire" sounds like he would like to MAKE HER HIS, PERMANENTLY. Maybe these words don't have this meaning? Maybe they're just about having her once? Maybe. But who knows. He's that kind of religious guy.

On the other way, he despises romani people and is disgusted of Esmeralda at the same time he's crazy about her. He calls her a witch, says it's her fault he was having those thoughts, "look at that disgusting display" (that classic kind of guy who says short skirts are innapropriate and too provocative but it's trying to look under them, iykyk). Basically he hates Esmeralda, who she is, despises her dance and calls it "disgusting display" and yet he's lusting over her. Considering this, it would only make sense he would do what he wants and leave her aside somehow, Frollo wouldn't want people to know that he married a romani girl, or a "vulgar girl" like her, maybe Frollo doesn't sees "the potential in her to be in a christian marriage", you know that that's extremely in character for him.

If Esmeralda had accepted his offer and did what he wanted, what would have happened? He would marry her and would exhibit her as a recanted woman? In a "I fixed her" kind of way, "and now she's my wife"? He would wipe all of her originality, personality and being out of her and turn her into his puppet like Elvis did to Priscilla in the movie "Priscilla", but worse? She would live an unhappy life with him and probably have his children too because this kind of guy believes in "only indulging in carnal acts when the purpose it's to reproduce"? Or maybe not, maybe he doesn't want children, but it doesn't matter because guys like him usually leaves all that on their wife's backs.

Also during the song "Hellfire" we see how fire Esmeralda "burns at the stake" and turns into smoke, flying into his direction with open arms. That's kinda metaphoric about him torturing her in that stake, stripping her of who she is and turning her into a ghost of herself. One that doesn't burn like flames, is softer, quieter, and willing for him and his twisted love - the kind of wife this kind of guy want.

While it also makes sense of him only having her once and considering Esmeralda "too promiscuous and part of the 'the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd', not good enough to be his wife", it's also possible that he's hinting about turning Esmeralda into a quiet, submissive and sad wife. "I can save you in this world and the other" maybe also hints at that, changing her so she's not "sinning" anymore by being who she is.

YOU KNOW WHAT? MADONNA AND THE PROSTITUTE THEORY ALL THE WAY UP. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

There's a great channel on Youtube called "Final Girl Studios" and the owner of the channel makes video essays, she LOVES to mention this subject. It fits perfectly what we're talking about.

And ALSO I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO MENTION HER ESSAY ABOUT THE MOVIE "VALERIE AND HER WEEK OF WONDERS". She talks about the Madonna and the prostitute theory and how the movie surrounds around this. And it's relevant to mention here that this movie has everything to do with the dynamic and topics discussed between Frollo and Esmeralda, not only in the Disney movie but also in the other adaptations and in the original novel.

youtube

I mean, it's a movie that's about a young girl called Valerie who just got into her puberty and spent a week finding out about how harsh the world is towards woman in general. So many things happen in this movie, but you can get what I mean when knowing that there's a scene when the priest tries to take advantage of her but fails because he remembered he should be celibate, and later then on the movie he tries to burn her at the stake, saying that she's a witch and seduced him to sin. Valerie then shows him her tongue.

Gosh that was so fun to take out of my chest and share. Someone needs to make a full post or video about how the Madonna x Whore subject is related to Esmeralda and Frollo. It's too much work for me, but maybe you guys would like to.

Also my friend mentioned about Esmeralda wearing different clothes during the stake scene. And yeah, okay, but if she was wearing different clothes, someone made her dress them, or dressed her themselves. She (my friend) was afraid that Esmeralda may have been assaulted or abused in any way during that period of time. I don't think Frollo did anything drastic like she does, or else he wouldn't be asking Esmeralda to "recant" and accept his offer.

#the hunchback of notre dame #hond #thond #hunchback of notre dame #headcanon #headcanons #quasimodo #judge claude frollo #claude frollo #frollo #captain phoebus #esmeralda #Youtube

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