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primroserising · 11 months

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Giving the Pretty Little Liars characters a Big Three... Pt. 1

"Friends share secrets. That's what keeps us close."

MATURITY RATING: 18+

SPOILER WARNING: If you haven't watched most of the show then this post may not be for you!

Hi all, this is my first post on Tumblr and I wanted to do something silly. I'm an astrology enthusiast but by no means a professional. Yes, some of my opinions or observations may be wrong or some people might not like them at all, but that won't stop me from making the fun posts I want to make.

Pretty Little Liars has always been my go-to comfort show when I want to watch a drama. I'm always happy to dive back into the PLL universe any time of the year, and I usually watch it during the fall/winter season when it's cold and I can bundle up and binge-watch many episodes at a time.

I will be including the less popular characters in part two as well, not just the main characters because I've rewatched the show over five times now and I've come to have an opinion on everyone. I'll also include some little tidbits in some character sections that don't pertain to astrology, so if you're here just for the big three, kindly disregard them!

WARNING: Really long post, with lots of gifs and pictures - read at your own risk!

Dividers by: cafekitsune

And now, without further ado, the first little Liar we will be analyzing is...

Aria Montgomery

“When you love someone, it's worth fighting for. No matter what the odds are.”

In my opinion, Aria is the quietest personality of the Liars and understandably also the most controversial of the bunch because of Ezra being a thing (oh brother…), and I have observed that many fans of the show generally don't like her for a multitude of reasons. That aside, I think every character on the show had their personal charm even if they were all problematic. The only time I really liked Aria was when she was with anyone but Ezra. And after the time jump, her character was less annoying (until she got with Ezra) and I thought it was neat that she had worked in publishing. I also liked her moments with Spencer (team Sparia!) and I always thought she was much better when she was with her friends.

I remember when I thought Aria was A at some point because she would do the "SHH" in the intro and it had sent me and my mom into a frenzy trying to come up with a believable theory that she was betraying the girls the whole time! Aria is my least favorite, but I still appreciate her because I can see a lot of myself in her, she and I share the same hobbies and some personality traits as well. I think Aria might either be a Venus or Neptune dominant because of the artistic and dreamy persona she has. Her appearance also reminds me of the moon.

Cancer Sun

Much like a Cancer, Aria cares a whole lot about her family and I think she's particularly close with her mother. Throughout the show, she displays lots of Cancerian traits and acts very maternal around her loved ones especially with Ezra (ugh), for example: bringing them food, making sure they're taken care of emotionally, giving them a safe space to talk about their feelings (I noticed she's usually the one that the rest of the Liars go to when they need to have an emotional conversation). She's also very bright and has many creative hobbies that act like a protective blanket for her when she's feeling emotional, e.g. reading, writing, drawing, and photography. I also noted that she's very protective of her friends and family and she acts like an angry mama bear when her loved ones are threatened.

Libra Moon

From what I've read, Libra moons thrive in partnerships, whether romantic or platonic, and they always try to keep everything balanced/harmonious. And for Aria, that sometimes means keeping secrets or telling little white lies (or even big ones) to keep the peace between her and her loved ones. There've been multiple times when Aria has lied for her friends and for herself to keep everything balanced between the group. She's also very intelligent and open-minded, made evident by her consistent interest in learning.

Libra moons also have trouble making decisions or making up their mind about things, and they often need a little nudge or push from their loved ones to make a decision and I think that matches up with attributes of Aria's personality as well. She's also very warm, friendly, and sociable and really just wants the best for her loved ones. And if I remember correctly Aria has had a looooot of relationships/flings throughout the show and I read somewhere that Libra moons are almost always in a partnership. And sometimes (this isn't every Libra moon, don't come for me) might start a new romance in the middle of their current one!

Okay, moving on to her Ascendant, I will go with...

Gemini Rising

I put Gemini rising for Aria because I read somewhere that mercurial risings or mercury contacting the ascendant can make someone look very youthful and bright. Also because she is a very mercurial coded person imo. She is very intellectual and has very quick wits about her. She's also very curious and excitable when speaking to others, and is actually very talkative when you get her going. Sometimes Gemini risings also get overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting or needing to do everything at once, and often have two personalities much like I observed with Aria. They also tend to like traveling and are usually very active and thrive on change, fast pace, and variety.

Okay, we're done with Aria, I hope the placements I gave her also make sense for you guys too - now the next little Liar we're moving on to is... *drumroll*

Spencer Hastings “Why enjoy today when you could be worrying about tomorrow?”

Spencer is one of my favorite characters on the show because every time I watch the show she constantly inspires me to be brave and more confident in my opinions. I also appreciate the actress, Troian Bellisario because she's so underrated, I think she and Ashley Benson (Hanna) carried the show with their comedic timing and great acting and should be more recognized. Spencer's character also really satisfies the wannabe detective in me and I looove that she's like a mini Sherlock Holmes. I like that she wasn't just a preppy rich girl and was actually very smart and investigative; she would've made a great detective if she went into the line of policework like Toby did. She's also very headstrong and sometimes a bit hardheaded.

Spencer is such a caffeine addict and I love it lmao but I don't see how some people drink just straight black coffee, I hate how bitter it is. I love Spoby (Spencer and Toby) with all my heart but I feel like she would've been a better match with Caleb or Alex (if they kept him on the show). She was also very cute with Wren (rip...) even though he was a little older than her. Toby is a great guy but I just never saw the chemistry with those two like I did with her other romances. Spencer being Mars and Mercury dominant makes a ton of sense to me. I think her having a fire grand trine in her fictional birth chart would explain how restless she is. From what I've read the keywords for fire grand trines are vital, bursting with energy, restless, enthusiastic, and prideful.

Aries Sun

Spencer being an Aries sun makes a lot of sense to me partially because of how hard she works to be the very best and is always charging headfirst into everything that she does whether it be schoolwork, playing detective, or protecting her friends. She's also very impulsive from what I've noticed and it often gets her into trouble or sometimes accidents. Aries placements are prone to accidents or injuries due to their impulsiveness. She never really thinks much before she does something and that's gotten her into some very embarrassing situations on the show (but we love her for it). She's very competitive and witty and also loves debating and is usually the one starting confrontations with people alongside Hanna. I also think it's cute that she is very energetic and an adrenaline junkie, I think she loves the thrill of dangerous situations, and that screams Aries to me. Overall a very chaotic and smart cookie, it's very easy to see why Toby fell in love with her.

For her moon sign, it was a tough decision to make but I'm going to have to go with...

Scorpio Moon

Scorpio Moons are so alluring, mysterious, and unbelievably smart. Spencer can be very intense. On multiple occasions, she's gotten called out for being a control freak by the other Liars in the group. As a fixed moon sign she can be very stubborn and assertive (I almost gave her Taurus for this one). She has an insatiable need to know everything at all times and often presses for more information any chance she can get. She also displayed exceptional intuition and was almost a little psychic at times which is why she was so good at being the detective of the group and also figured Mona out. She's a suspicious girlie and finds it hard to trust anyone that she doesn't already know. As a Scorpio moon and just a water moon in general, Spencer often experiences intense emotions and is prone to having breakdowns or self-destructing when things get hard. To people outside of her close circle of friends and family, she can seem very intimidating and hard to approach and even sometimes a bit snappy.

For her rising sign, we're giving her a...

Sagittarius Rising

I was going to give Spencer a Capricorn or Virgo Rising, but I decided that her being perceived as a Sagittarius would make more sense. She has a love for new adventures and exploration (prob why she snoops into places where she doesn't belong smh), and is quite curious. She also has a love for languages and I think it was pretty cute that she offered to tutor Toby in French, it reminded me of someone saying that Sagittarius loves learning different languages and teaching as well. Spencer is also very honest and direct in her communication though she has been known to be very humorous and sarcastic when it's called for. She speaks her mind freely and doesn't care what other people think about her opinions and she loves taking risks like they're a piece of candy or something. Also isn't afraid to call someone out on their bullshit or correct them if she feels the need to do so. She is skilled in verbal combat and isn't afraid to whip out some badass comebacks!

With Spencer out of the way, we have three more main characters to go, so let's get into...

Emily Fields

“Ruin one of us, ruin all of us.”

Emily is such a sweetheart omg. I loved how soft she was compared to the other girls even though she saw it as a weakness. I see a lot of myself in her character and she helped me become a little more confident in who I was. She was always in my top three for favorite characters for this show because I could see myself being really close friends with her. She didn't deserve all the trauma she got from Alison constantly toying around with her but I do think it made her somewhat stronger in the end. I am however still a little salty that despite all that, she and Alison still ended up being together but it looks like they might've been in a rocky situation if we go off with what The Perfectionists (what even was that show anyway) told us about the original couples of PLL.

I was so sad when Wayne died. RIP. He was such a great father figure for her and I liked that he was accepting of her. Her mom on the other hand was a mess for a while but I think she became better as the seasons went on too.

Emily and Maya were the sweetest couple and I was so sad when we got the news that Maya died. I feel like they were truly soulmates and even though Emily found other girls, I don't think she ever loved anyone as much as she loved Maya. Except maybe Alison.

I wish we got more of Emily dancing or doing more activities besides just swimming. It didn't make sense to me that she was the "jock" character but the only thing she really did was swim and that was about it. I could see Emmy doing soccer or tennis imo.

Pisces Sun

Emily is shy and soft-spoken and she almost reminds me of a mermaid which is really funny since she's known for being the swimmer of the group. She's very romantic, compassionate, friendly, artistic, and intensely empathetic which is why her being a Pisces sun fits the bill perfectly. A kind and gentle soul, I think her soft disposition is very valuable to the Liars and she is often there to provide emotional or moral support when the girls need it. She's also the most likely of them to cry if she saw a cute animal or something that reminded her of her childhood. I know that's sort of specific but still it's true. She also loves to dance and is pretty good at it imo (even though no one knew until that fateful episode with Hanna's pageant training...).

Taurus Moon

Emily's emotions are honestly very stable and fixed; and when she is in partnerships she is able to stick to them (usually). She loves connections and is able to charm anyone she sets her eyes on. Em is very trustworthy and loyal to her loved ones and honestly has very good taste when it comes to style and decoration. She is very persistent and determined with anything she takes on and doesn't appear to have a lot of patience for flaky, or people who create a lot of drama in her life. She is almost always very patient with her friends, family, as well as herself and I think that's a very admirable quality to have. I think the Liars needed her because she can be very dependable and loyal. Taurus moons can also be more responsive than active and that's sometimes why they can come off as passive or immovable.

Emily's ascendant is...

Cancer Rising

I gave her a Cancer rising because Emily's aura is so soft and angelic and she gives the best hugs. If PLL was a supernatural drama, I think Emily would definitely have healing powers or be a literal angel with how sweet she is. Everyone always views Emily as the weakest link or the least likely to do any harm to anyone and I think that's because she has such a soft disposition to the point where people think she's a pushover. As a Cancer rising she sometimes takes things personal and does have a bit of a mean streak but I think her Taurus moon helps keep her grounded most of the time when it comes to her emotions. I see Emily as very supportive and tenacious, the girl's been through a lot and she still shines as brightly as she did in the first few episodes of PLL. Also her skin sometimes appears to be moon-kissed and she looks so good in silvers and blues so that's another reason why I gave her a Cancer ascendant.

Woo, that was a doozy. Stealing the show is...

Hanna Marin

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool my best friend, you're dead freakin' meat."

Hanna Banana is also another character that is very near and dear to my heart. I appreciated her character so much and I'm glad she wasn't just a "dumb blonde" like some characters thought she was. She was actually very smart and if Spencer wasn't the brainiac of the group I think Hanna would've at least been runner-up. I have so much in common with Hanna's character and I appreciate her so much - she's definitely one of the most memorable characters on the show and I also think she had some of the best lines. From saying, "Please, Jenna can't hear us, she's blind," to "Read her boobs, the girl loves Christmas." She's always cracked me up and I think she's so entertaining to watch. I also loved her character development throughout the seasons but got a little disappointed with the Caleb x Hanna x Spencer triangle that happened in the later season and it kind of annoyed me.

Hanna and Caleb are my favorite couple in the series although I really liked Spencer and Caleb too. I was torn apart with that whole love triangle storyline and it broke me. I like that Hanna decided to become a fashion designer. I guess her love for shoes, pretty dresses and fashion really paid off lmao. A part of me kind of wonders what kind of couple Hanna and Lucas would've been although I really loved their friendship, too.

Leo Sun

Hanna is definitely a fire sign through and through, and I almost gave her Sagittarius because her actress, Ashley Benson is one, but I think Hanna's personality and overall character fits a Leo more than anything. She definitely has a very bright and sunny disposition and radiates a confident aura to those she is around. Hanna loves shopping and she loves sparklies; good shoes, pretty dresses, eye-catching jewelry that reflects the bold, charismatic and fierce personality she has. It's no reason why she was known as the popular queen bee of the school after Alison's disappearance. Leo suns love to be admired and they bask in the compliments when they look and feel good. On the negative side they can be very self-absorbed or narcissistic and Hanna's definitely had her moments. While she is usually confident and well put together, Hanna is a soft and sensitive person deep down and can have some insecurity issues. I also believe that past Hanna (when Alison was still around) embodied a undeveloped Leo sun and after Alison she started gradually shifting into a more developed Leo sun and I think that's made more evident when Caleb rolled around.

Hanna's moon sign is...

Cancer Moon

This is so generalized and cliche but since Hanna has a beautiful, unbreakable bond with her mother and I wholeheartedly believe Hanna would do anything for her mother, just as Ashley (her mom) has shown that she'd do anything for her. Hanna cares a lot about her loved ones and seems to turn into this bright ball of sunshine whenever she is around them. I think she's an amazing friend to have and anyone that knows her is very lucky to have her. As a lunar Cancer she can be a little moody and sometimes snaps at people when she feels overwhelmed, but on the other side she can be very empathetic and has a reliable intuition or "gut feeling" which has helped her on multiple occasions. In relationships and friendships she can lean towards being maternal and sometimes unintentionally smothers the people she's closest to. I think Hanna is generally very sweet and her helping Caleb come into his own was a very beautiful story and really spoke to her character. She also has a strong lifeline to her past, like all Cancer placements, and her past often haunted her - but I think talking about it with Dr. Sullivan really helped her get over a lot of things that happened with Alison.

Aries Ascendant

Hanna has always given me Aries vibes. She sometimes acts before she thoroughly thinks things through and that's definitely gotten her into a lot of trouble. Like any other fire placement, her temper can go from zero to one hundred pretty quickly and it can be scary when she's mad. It's often hard for Hanna to sit still or contain her emotions; it's usually written all over her face. She's always moving around and if others get left in the dust, that's their problem. Part of the reason why she worked so well with Caleb was because they balanced each other out. He was more calm and a little more rational and always had to talk her out of being rash or talk her out of doing something completely stupid due to her emotions being high. I think she's also pretty clumsy and her bumping into people (and sometimes impulsively kissing them lmao) or things a lot is an Aries or Mars conjunct ascendant type motif for me. I think her and Spencer sometimes butt heads because of the sun - rising connection and them being a little too similar in that way.

And now for the OG queen bee herself. We'll be analyzing...

Alison DiLaurentis

"It's immortality, my darlings."

Alison, Alison, Alison. She was such a problematic character but I loved her in the flashbacks. I think when she came back her character and charm really started declining and it's kinda sad. But nonetheless, Alison was obviously the big talk of the show for a reason. She was the kind of person you loved to hate or hated that you loved her and I think Sasha Pieterse really slayed her role. Alison had everyone in the town wrapped around her little finger and it took the girls quite a while to get away from her grip. I think Alison would definitely destroy Regina George in a battle and probably some other popular mean girls too. I enjoyed watching PLL because I was so obsessed with finding out what happened to Alison, and when we finally found her and got to know what really happened that night I started sympathizing with her character. I think deep down, she was probably a very sweet person but over time became corrupted and tucked her soft side away where no one would ever find it because all of the trauma and terrible situations she went through. This is probably gonna be a longer analyzation, we'll see.

Alison and Emily were not my favorite couple at all but I appreciated how Emily was a very evident soft spot for her and it showed a bit of her emotional, human side. I think Mona and Alison would've made pretty good friends if they didn't get off to such a rocky start. They're honestly so much alike and I feel like if Alison wasn't such a bitch to Mona in the beginning she would've had no reason to run away from Rosewood in the beginning like girl.

I don't really think Alison had one decent romantic interest besides that one cop that everyone forgot about. And I guess Emily.

Scorpio Sun

Being a water sign, Scorpios can be very intense and have a magnetic aura around them as well. Everyone either wanted to be with Alison or be Alison herself. Despite Alison always being the center of attention and the apple of everyone's eye, no one really knew that much about her, not even her friends. Scorpios are known to be extremely private, or even secretive about what they truly think or feel. A developed Scorpio can be known to be creative, healing, transformational, loyal, determined, intimate, and overall very passionate in everything that they put their mind to. Alison spent most of her teenage years being an underdeveloped Scorpio; constantly manipulating and cruelly criticizing people, even her friends. She also had a very sharp tongue and wasn't afraid to bring out her claws.

She knew everyone's secrets and had no problem using those secrets against them and boy did she do a hell of a lot of blackmailing. Alison was very vindictive and quite destructive as well, and I believe she had what could only be called the opposite of a Midas touch; everything she touched always became cold and she would often suck the life out of the people closest to her so she could feel better about herself. She only became more developed as the seasons went on, and I'm sure in a world where Marlene King didn't write that horrible storyline between Ali and Emi we would've seen more of that character development from Alison.

Capricorn Moon

I've put a lot of thought into this and I think Alison may or may not be a Capricorn moon. With all the trauma and obstacles she had to endure, she always found a way to get right back up and try, try again. She strove to be successful in everything that she tried to do with her life and actually acquired a mass amount of wisdom from all of her experiences which I think would've made her a great counselor if they had went that route with her instead of just making her a teacher. Having the moon in detriment, where Cancer is one of the most sensitive and responsive, Capricorn is usually more controlled, disciplined, and strategic. Sometimes they can even be unemotional, and it often looks like Alison turned her humanity off like the vampires do in The Vampire Diaries. Dry humor and sarcasm are often the go-to deflection mechanism for Capricorn moons when they are dealing with uncomfortable feelings from themselves or other people.

Alison was a bit of a pessimist and often slipped into moods where she was very hard on herself and felt like she was stuck or had to be the person everyone remembered her to be. But I think Emily (and her friends, but especially her) was the light at the end of the tunnel for Alison with how nurturing and patient she was. Emily might've gotten mad at Alison and there were times where she couldn't deal with her anymore but I don't think Emily ever gave up on Alison and that probably meant a lot to her as a Cap moon and I think their relationship was a good example of a Capricorn-Cancer connection. Also put Capricorn moon because of Alison's mother being very strict and not very nurturing at all - often a very karmic connection.

Aquarius Rising

Aquarius risings are known for being unique, intellectual, individualistic and having a "freaky" or weird personal quality about them that just makes them stand out. Ali definitely had a thing for books and seemed to be very knowledgeable even though it appeared she never cared that much for school. Aquarius placements are unapologetic for the way that they are and are confident in themselves. Cliché, but where the crowd goes left, Aquarius risings go right - they walk to the beat of their own drum and some of them might even have a god complex. As a fixed air sign ruled by Saturn, they can be aloof like Aquarius moons and self-righteous like some Aquarius suns. Alison had a very hard time admitting when she was wrong and having a predominantly fixed chart she was also very stubborn and controlling as well. On a lighter note, Alison did always constantly show up her friends and Aquarius risings are known for being committed to community and being humanitarians - but only to the people that they choose. Even while she had been on the run from Mona, she came back to Rosewood to see her friends and even save them on multiple occasions. It seemed to everyone that Alison didn't have a heart, but I think her friends eventually brought out the warm and caring person she actually was deep down.

I hope you guys liked this post! A lot of time and effort was put into this and I'm excited for people to read what I've written about these characters. If you guys want a part two with the other characters, let me know!

And if you have any special requests for other shows, my asks are open as well!

If you've made it this far, I hope you have a lovely day and thank you for reading all of this. It means a lot, and I hope you'll stick around for my other posts as well. Leave a like, reblog, and keep being you!

XOXO,

Zara

"We'll be friends forever."

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the-shy-artisan · 17 days

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seeing as it's pride month, i'd like to share with you all my coming out story c:

i knew, even at a very young age, that i was different.

i was around seven years old when i decided i wasn't interested in sex. of course the adults around me thought it was cute or saw it as a joke: what seven year old says something like that? "you don't know that for sure," they'd tell me, or, "you'll change your mind when you're older."

well, i grew a little older, but my decision still remained; buried at the back of my mind, out of sight and quiet. by middle school, i watched as my peers fawned over movie stars far older than them; they would point them out in teen magazines and ask me things like, "isn't he so hot?" "god, i want do him so bad," and, "what about you? who would you fuck if you had the chance?" i'd never answer, because i didn't have the heart to tell them i didn't feel the same way as them. it was yet another way i didn't fit in with the crowd.

then high school came around.

my views on sex aside, i did have relationships. but it wasn't until my third that i started to heavily question my sexuality. it came about one day during a visit to his house, we were on the couch watching a movie. he started touching me in places i never wanted to be touched. i moved his hands away multiple times, told him no, even moved to another piece of furniture away from him. i sat through the rest of the movie with my legs firmly crossed and my arms wrapped around myself. i felt sick to my stomach, and later i confided in my mother about what happened.

what she said still shocks me to my core to this very day:

"well, you've been in the relationship almost a year, and he's a man. you need to give him something. he has needs you know."

i was appalled. i reminded her of my long standing views about sex, only to have her respond with, "still? i would've hoped you'd outgrown this by now."

it broke my heart, but i broke hers the day i ended the relationship (she was certain we were going to get married and give her "beautiful" grandchildren).

i spent a very long time wondering if she was right. i started to think i was broken.

then came college… and the discovery of a magical word.

i found it on tumblr, hidden under the gif of a waving flag striped with purple, white, grey, and black. "asexuality." i was intrigued, i had never seen another flag besides the rainbow we all know. a quick google search brought up a definition on my computer screen… and tears in my eyes.

asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.

all those years spent thinking there was something wrong with me, that i was the odd piece to a puzzle that didn't fit in, that i was a broken thing never to be fixed; everything suddenly made sense. that seven year old little girl who was ridiculed and shamed for even having the idea of never having sex, the teenager who cried alone in the bathroom as she vomited after her boyfriend made unwanted advances towards her; there was finally a word that described her.

asexuality.

it's been some time since i've taken on that label, it almost felt like being wrapped in a warm blanket. i finally felt comfortable in my own skin.

of course that's not to say there hasn't been some negative outcomes: my mother screamed and cried the day i came out to her (she still denies my sexuality to this day), and i've had complete strangers tell me i should be raped to be "fixed."

but despite that, i am proud to be ace. and unlike what some may think, i do very much wish to be in a relationship; just a queer platonic one, another thing i see many have mixed feelings on, much like the identity i use to describe myself. but the love i experience and wish to share is deep and true, just minus the sex. i only wish others would understand.

i am not broken, i never was.

i was just different.

and that is okay.

#paige chatter #i don't really feel like tagging this for anywhere so here it shall stay

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oliviax727 · 7 months

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I finally gotten to it, I am finally going to start learning a language (Spanish)

Wait, why should I care?

You don't need to care at all. I just want to keep a public record of my progress and see if I can pull off the effort for long enough to achieve my goals.

If you're not interested, there's no shame in scrolling past this post once a month. And dw, these posts will be at most monthly. So if you're here for something else, this won't clog things up.

If you're concerned about the physics, reminder this is my personal account, and there's another one exclusively for those who just want the science without the shitposting/personal/political stuff.

Though if you're like a linguist or something - or are interested in language stuff in general, I'm sure you can find some value in this post perhaps.

What language will it be?

tl;dr Spanish

Also I love putting all this colour in my post. It satisfies my autism so much.

Now, I've come from a very multilingual background. I learned mandarin between age 5 - 13, and latin in grades 7 thru 8.

Mandarin was a language I could never get the hang of.

It probably had to do with some child-like racism combined with a lack of motivation.

Buuuuut it most likely was a consequence of when I moved from Hong Kong to Australia, my new school did not accomodate the fact I was already experienced.

Nevertheless, I feel as if my Mandarin skills have been overshot, and I don't think I'd be motivated to re-learn it unless I overwhelmingly succeed in this.

Latin was just a dud - I decided to do it because I thought it would be interesting, but dropped it after I realised I had too much on my plate heading into 9th grade.

But Spanish on the other hand, well, there are three better reasons why I choose to learn it:

I never really got an opportunity. I stopped wanting to learn from my abuela when I was 3-5 yo, and my Australian high school also didn't offer it either (my high school's curriculum was dogshit)

A big portion of my relatives are tied to Argentina, with my mum being born from Argentine immigrants. She spent her high school years doing ESL as Spanish was her second language

Aspiring to do Astrophysics is likely going to land me in Chile, as the Andes is home to telescopes-a-plenty

I could've also gone with other languages I'm interested in, like:

German (because my abuela was born from German immigrants - no they were not Nazis, they actually fled in 1936 to avoid conscription)

Croatian (my abuelo was born in Yugoslavia and fled in the 1950s)

Greek (I don't know why it was my "latin is cool" phase, so I guess I wanted to do ancient greek but I don't know how much drift there has been over the last 2000 years thanks to the romans)

And thus I go with Spanish.

But what about regional dialects?

I am very aware that there are various dialects of Spanish within Latin America, and generally, most online methods of learning will teach you Spanish Spanish.

But I think it's more important to first learn a bit of basic vocab, and the grammar, before worrying about my regional dialect. I'm still pretty sure that the most common and important grammar conventions are still shared between languages.

And I already know that people will tell I'm a foreigner, because I'll have an "English"-like accent to it. Learning a specific dialect will only make it harder to tell, not eliminate being "language clocked" entirely.

So what's this going to look like?

Every month or two I'm going to personally report, to myself, via tumblr, my progress in learning. I'll list what I learned, what I still need to work on, and what I wish I could do next.

Effectively this is going to be a public journal of sorts, to make sure I feel like I'm doing this productively.

What's the weather like now?

Given that I've already attempted to learn Spanish twice previously, and being exposed to cultural influences, I already know a bit of Spanish.

Most of it is just random bits of vocabulary, that sound a lot less impressive if you were to try and make me say a sentence:

Custom greetings "Hola", "Buenos Noches"

Expletives "¡Ay caramba!"

The basic conjunction "y"

"Niño, niña, hombre"

Agua (with the "con gas" or "sin gas" tacked on too)

Counting from "uno" to "treinta-nueve"

Some month names like "Mayo" or "Diciembre"

Some colours like "Rojo"

Some utensils and tools like "Boligrafo"

Other stuff that I won't be able to recaly suddenly

And I mostly only understand the pronunciation, most of the spellings I had to look up on google translate. Extra I's like in December or thirty, or that there's no "ph" in pen.

There are other simple grammatical rules that I know of:

Gender i.e. words that end with a you tack on a "La" and for o's you tack on "El". More generally you have to pay attention to grammatical gender

As an educated guess from knowing a bit of Latin, I'm sure there are noun and verb declensions that interact with gender as well

Word order, much like English, is SVO

Clearly, I have my work cut out for me. But I also have a head start over a lot of people primarily because I have experience in other languages related to Spanish, which can help inform me on grammar and common vocabulary. I also have some (minor) knowledge in linguistics.

Another one is that I don't just assume that Spanish is a 1:1 translation of English, where you can just swap words for others. This seems like a trivial fact. But you'd be surprised at how much "English-speaking privilege" can blind people who don't require learning second languages.

It can be much more effective to learn a language when you know your expectations.

What are my Goals?

Well, in the spirit of a SMART goal, I don't really know. Because I don't actually know how long it will take me to get to a desired level of fluency.

Sometimes a language can take years to learn, sometimes it can be picked up in just one. And there are so many different "levels" of acheivement.

Which is why my goals in the long term will be more vapid:

At some point, I want to have a semi-fluent conversation with my abuela in Spanish

I want to be able to speak and understand a proper, unbroken sentence within a few months or a year

Now, what I mean by "Sentence" is really finicky. I don't mean "Las mujers leen; ¡Soy una de las mujers!" (see I'm already learning ha ha). I mean a sentence you'd normally say like:

"Hey X, I'm gonna go to the store, what do you need me to buy? Ok see you in half an hour."

That will be a bit difficult. It requires a lot more vocab to get to that level. But of course, I know it's do-able because millions of people have done it already!

What are my short-term goals? And how will I learn?

For the short term, my goals are a little more simpler. Primarily because there will always be a course or an app that will help me learn.

And for the first few months, my goals are most likely going to align with whatever the app has designed for me to do.

The problem is that I feel like most apps will act as if they can take you from no-knowledge to fluent speaker in like 5 months tops, which for an adult sounds a little fishy if you ask me.

When reading through the recommended applications, I came across two that were appealing:

Duolingo, which is more fast-paced and short-form. It gamifies language but may not be great for formal education

Rosetta Stone, which is advertised as better for natural language learning. And requires more effort.

I decided to use both, mainly because I'm lucky enough to afford it ... for now. I don't have much other means to spend my money regardless.

The reason I choose to use both is simply because I want the best of both worlds, and that I can't tell which one is better until I try it. Duolingo makes it entertaining, Rosetta Stone makes it serious. Sort of the balance I'm looking for.

At some point I hope to stop using at least one or the other. But for now I have nothing better to do.

Anyways, that's all I gotta say on the matter for now. Wish me luck!

#language #spanish #learning languages #learning spanish #l

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my-castles-crumbling · 3 months

Note

i’m not very good with words… i’m an anon that’s been here before. More than once. I didn’t mention that I was coming back or anything, but the advice you gave me was… calming. What I needed. Multiple times.

Anyway, you must get a bunch of these, but thank you

I don’t like social media and half the time I regret getting it. I mean, if you even count tumblr as social media.

It drains my trust in human kindness and if I have to explain why saying something transphobic hurts trans people one more time I swear i’m going to send hate.

And I’ve never done that (i won’t actually send hate, unfortunately I have a conscience…)

So yeah, I dunno, just thank you. Really.

Every time someone feels safe enough to be honest on your blog it adds together. And together, with the anons and the readers, you’ve saved people.

Every person who asked your help only felt able because you made them feel safe, made your blog a community, a safe space.

And even just being able to say it, even if it’s the internet, is so important. And you’re giving people that.

I don’t know if you get hate, but I imagine everyone with bigger blogs do at least a little, but I hope you remember that you’ve helped so many people.

I assume you have bad days, like everyone else, and I hope you know that you’ve clearly built a community here. That you’ll still have even if you can’t go on tumblr as often or you write something “bad” (which I highly doubt, your advice is as amazing as your microfics… so absolutely incredible), because part of having peoples back means they have yours too.

And you know, one day, when my problems don’t hurt like they do now and i’m looking back on this time of my life with mixed feelings, i’ll remember you and your advice. People will remember you, and I think that’s cool.

Sorry this was so long, I just needed to give you a meaningful thank you, you made a difference for me. And a lot of others.

So thank you. I didn’t have anyone to go to when I sent a random anon ask. And simply writing and sending it helped. Saying it helped. Reading it helped. Knowing another person read it helped. Then getting advice, knowing someone cares enough to try and help me, it meant a lot.

So thank you (again) Cas 🤗 You must put a lot of effort into this, it must be hard sometimes. Thank you.

Can I just say, I've read this twice now, right? And you literally made me cry. Like I joke a lot about fandom content making me cry and stuff like that but I actually have a hard time crying sometimes, even when I'm feeling emotional. I bottle things up a lot and it becomes a problem. But this made me cry.

I got some bad news today and I literally have just been feeling so bad about myself for the past few hours. Like, this news just kind of pushed me back in a lot of my work to love myself.

But this note made me feel so much better.

I think one of the reasons that I LIKE doing this so much is like you said- people remember when someone does something nice, especially when they're feeling down. You don't have to do a lot to help someone, just enough to remind them that they're cared about.

So, yeah. Thank YOU for doing that for me today. I really needed it.

Also I took screenshots of this. I'm saving it for when I need something to cheer me up.

#ask #asks #ask cas

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dotster001 · 2 years

Note

Hi grats on 1k!!!<3 id like to participate in the event too if you don’t mind i choose twisted wonderland

My OG: Riddle has always been the favorite child lol i first learned of what twisted wonderland was through my first matchup result here on tumblr before i knew what twisted wonderland was. The headcanon was so cute and i fell in love with him and his design when i started researching and it led me to falling in love with the game itself too. Obviously I chose his hand first when the game finally came to global and he was on my first home-screen and is still there to this day although there have been times i considered switching with malleus or azul i couldn’t bring myself too lol. He reminds me of a little red angry cat who just needs love 🥺.

About me: huh what do i say lol. well I’m a cis female, pronouns she/her, my mbti is infj, my enneagram type is 2w1, my zodiac is a Capricorn, im african American 5’2 with black wavy/curly hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks and hour glass figure.

I would describe me as kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward and clumsy. My weaknesses would be low self esteem and lack of confidence.

I like animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime cartoons music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets bread and helping people.

I dislike spiders loud sounds people who harm others people i care about not caring for themselves people who don’t consider others not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests.

Random facts about me would be that i pace a lot i talk to myself i sing when im alone and im a picky eater i have a pet cat and two sisters.

What kind of tale do i want: i dont know get creative i suppose maybe something fluffy and romantic i dont mind a little angst tho if you want as long as there is a happy ending. Just go nuts and surprise me if you can.

Thank you

(Hi I hope you like this! I was inspired by the fact that you got a match up before even knowing the game 😂 the story practically wrote itself.)

A Tale Where Riddle is Set up on a Blind Date, and it works out Better than Expected

"Trust me, Riddle, she's lit! You're gonna love her!"

"Sure Cater, but I don't have time for your nonsense."

Three weeks now. Three weeks of Cater trying to set him up on a blind date with some girl. He tried to be polite. But Cater wasn't taking the hint. And now Riddle was pretty sure he was about to lose it.

"Look, one date with her. One date and I promise, you'll be head over heels for her!"

Riddle was about to snap, when Trey heaved a heavy sigh.

"Look, Riddle, you know normally I would never enable Cater. But in this case, I think he's right. I think you will genuinely enjoy a date with this girl."

If Trey was saying it, then there must be some truth to the matter.

"Okay, then you tell me, Trey. Who is she?"

Trey winced, "I can't say, you just have to trust me."

"Why can't you say?" Riddle asked with a pout.

"Because blind dates are more fun!"

"Because she didn't even agree until yesterday."

Two very different answers overlapped. Riddle folded his arms across his chest and frowned.

"Riddle, just trust me. If it goes badly you can collar Cater forever, and I won't say a word," Trey said with a smirk.

"Hey!" Cater cried, but Riddle was slowly nodding in agreement.

"Alright then. You said you got her to agree. When is this date?"

Cater winced, and muttered below his breath, "Tonight."

"Tonight!" Riddle shouted. "What if I had said no? How am I supposed to be ready in such a short time?"

"It's okay! I have an outfit picked out for you that I've been waiting to have you try!" Cater said, pushing Riddle in the direction of his room.

Needless to say, Riddle was less than excited to try out the new outfit.

….

Riddle was dressed casually for the first time in his entire life. Black jeans, white Tshirt, red unbuttoned flannel on top of the Tshirt. He had to admit, it was comfortable, but he still felt a little out of place…

He'd been informed that his date would know what he was wearing, and would have a red rose in her hair. So he waited patiently at his table, until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Riddle?"

The rose in your hair was lovely. You looked good in red.

Those were his first two thoughts before he realized you were his blind date.

"Prefect? You're…."

"Yeah," you laughed, "I guess so."

You took a seat across from him, and Riddle took a sip of water to hopefully hide his flushed cheeks.

"Can I tell you the truth?" You said sheepishly. "I only agreed to this because Cater accidentally hinted that the blind date was you."

Riddle's face went even redder and he tried to sputter out a good response, but it came out as….

"Beautiful! So pretty!"

You furrowed your brow. "I mean, yeah, you do look pretty in the casual clothes I guess."

"Sevens," he muttered, taking another sip of water and trying not to choke. "You look beautiful."

You stared for a moment. Then you giggled. "Heh, thanks."

There was a heavy silence for a moment, and Riddle decided that if you were honest, he should be too.

"I kept turning Cater down because I didn't think he'd be setting me up with you."

The back of your neck prickled and your gaze dropped to the floor.

"We seem to be in agreement then."

"Yes," he took your hand, and softly rubbed his thumb along your knuckles.

He grinned maliciously.

" Even if we weren't, rule 137 states that if you get set up on a blind date with the queen, you are required to date until the next blind date occurs."

"You made that up!"

"I would never!" He pressed a hand to his chest in mock indignation. "I take my position very seriously."

"Well, rule 76 in my rulebook says that if the queen makes up a rule, then she has to date me until I say otherwise."

You loved his genuine smiles. So when his face radiated like the sun, your heart skipped a beat.

"I guess we're stuck together."

"I guess so."

"Well, I'll make the most of it then," he confidently kissed the back of your hand, like a prince greeting his princess.

….

From the back of the restaurant Cater looks on in mild disappointment.

"I guess they don't need us to serenade them then."

Trey set the microphone down with a relieved laugh.

"Told you so."

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #1k followers #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #twisted wonderland riddle

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claudiajcregg · 4 months

Text

Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

#tell other people about your wips #wip memes #my writing #should I even tag this with the show or the pairing?????#long post

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issuesdolly · 13 days

Text

VERY sad recent personal experience- need to vent

hey folks.... I had to vent to the empty Tumblr space about a very upsetting/confusing recent experience. I have a TikTok where I make JD/Korn related content as well as vids of myself about my life and some comedy stuff of me.

Well, few months ago, a guy found my videos and followed me and seemed to care deeply about the health advocacy videos I put up regarding my terminal + chronic pain illness. He invited me to speak with him and after seeing him on vid + in person, he looked VERY VERY SIMILAR to Jonathan Davis in his 30s... as well as being a huge JD/Korn fan. So yeah him 36 me 33.... living nearby each other. He could even do some good JD vocal immitations when we'd be singing along to the songs together and stuff lol. So.... y'all can imagine how that made me feel lol.

He told me for months he thought I'm beautiful... that he likes me and wanted to get into a relationship. I was pretty much blown away. I was like "seriously????" cuz... it felt like a dream or something haha. I explain over and over again about my failing health and educated him on all that is wrong with me.. testing him....and he was still supportive saying he accepts that that's where it's at for me and still wants to be with me. When I'd had worse flairups he said lovely things like "I wish I could take your pain away," and I would say stuff like "you do... as much as anyone can." Which was true. I was falling for him for sure.

We started spending more time together and he started talking about wanting to hook up. Obviously, I wanted that more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD HAHA. But... I got scared saying "you are extremely attractive to me but I'm afraid to just hook up.... I'd like to get to know you better first??" because believe it or not... as pervy as I am in my writing, I'm VERY careful in my real life where my physical safety/men are concerned. And where my heart is concerned.

BECAUSE this guy was SO good looking I had to think "I wonder how many women/people he's trying this with????" Him being single and wanting to spend his life with a dying lady seemed too good to be true. He also spends a lot of time out with friends and going to concerts and clubs while I'm bedridden so I had to wonder what he's really up to when I'm not around. Basically I was being appropriately skeptical. And also didn't want to get heartbroken if he saw the vulnerability of my situation knowing I'm very sick/depressed and he reminds me of JD.

I admitted I'm VERY attracted to him and definitely want to fuck him lol.... but want to be careful and spend more time with him before getting into that.

Obviously after I wasn't moving "fast" enough... the JD- lookalike guy has kinda stopped responding to my messages or caring as much. He went from bombarding me with conversation to ghosting for days. Which obviously means he never cared about my health problems + life in the first place. I've been pretty devastated...Since obviously my fondest hope before death would be to meet someone awesome who REMINDS me of Jonathan or the things I like about Jonathan (or at least appreciates his music).. Feeling STUPID and pretty heartbroken. I was with one man for 10 years and that relationship ended this February but what has transpired now has actually cut me deeper than the end of my 10-year relationship.

Also this JD look alike guy has been the ODDEST experience of my life too BTW.

NOT even kidding that dude:

-came out of nowhere.. messaged me

-pursued ME not the other way around

- looked JUST like Jonathan besides dreads but he has long black hair, thick rim black glasses, same height/build/facial hair and how he had it cut. I even asked friends and family showing them pics like "AM I NUTS OR DOES HE LOOK LIKE JONATHAN????" and they were like "he could be a fucking impersonator of early 2000s JD . WTF no you're not nuts"

And yeah this dude spent months acting like he cared about me saying stuff like "I'm always here for you... you can always reach out to me...." "Anyone who loved you would never leave you due to poor health and I accept your health problems and still REALLY like you and want to be with you" or "I'm grateful you're in the world don't give up." FML.

#jd korn #jonathan davis #jon davis #jonathan davis korn

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penncilkid · 1 year

Text

Hello hello! My name is PK and I'm a fervent enjoyer of non-canon ships. I'm not a fic writer exactly but I've been told "Where's the fic OP" twice now by my friends. So I thought I'd format one of my fic-adjacent ramble sessions for Tumblr!

Pairing: Milo/David [No Sweetheart or Angel, wanted to go easy on myself] [MDNI*] [Let's call this "canon reminiscent /lh]

Word Count: 3.2 K

*(I wouldn't consider this smut by any means but there's a few lines that make me want to add this as a tag)

[As a reminder, I diverge from canon quite a bit with this. This is just one route I could see leading to Milo and David getting together]

My vision for this pair is that they start getting closer in a more than just friends way a little bit after Gabe dies. Not immediately because have some decorum, but it would start during that transition period for David as Alpha. Asher is trying his best to help but is also grappling with the whole Beta thing, so he feels like he's in a complex position. But him and Milo can see that David's not doing great so Milo's like "Fine, I'll bite the bullet" and tries to confront David about it.

At first it's subtle, asking David if he needs help with something, if he wants anyone from the pack to stay after for meetings, if he wants them to pick up a shift so he can have the day off, etc. But David is too stubborn to accept any of it so he keeps brushing them off. This ends up culminating in a "fight" one day where Milo again tries to make an offer that David shoots down. Milo sort of snaps and is like "Alright, what the fuck gives? Why are you acting like you're too good to get help anymore, David?" David says he doesn't know what he's talking about, Milo calls bullshit. It doesn't turn into a screaming match but it's enough of a heated argument that Milo storms out of the den.

In the days following, Milo either calls out sick, switches shifts with people, anything to avoid seeing David. David brushes it off, thinking he's got more important things to worry about if Milo's going to throw a fit. But of course, Ash being Ash means this stuff can't fly for long, so he tells both David and Milo that he needs help with something at an odd time of day and then "coincidentally" doesn't show up. When Milo gets to the den, he's real tempted to get back in his car and leave. It's a mix of still being a little frustrated with David and being embarrassed that this "fight" has gone on for as long as it has. He walks up to David (who was waiting outside for Asher) and is like "Lemme guess, you're waiting for Ash?" "How did you...?" "Fucker told me the same thing."

They do some lighthearted bitching about their friend, which eases the tension. There's a bit of silence and right as Milo gets ready to apologize for speaking out of turn, David apologizes first. He acknowledges that Milo was right in what he said and that he's been struggling with everything changing, but he hasn't wanted it to show on the outside. Milo makes a light jab at David, "Alright well did you really expect that to go over my head? C'mon, David, we've known each other since we were kids. Gimme some credit" To make up for it, the two of them go out to eat, all that's chill. Cut to when Milo gets home, maybe has a drink or two as he's winding down. David sends him a message, confirming he made it home alright (because I've always latched onto the idea that he's super attentive to that given what happened with Gabe). Milo sends David a quick reply and wonders why seeing that message made him feel some type of way (romantic? Who knows, not Milo that's for sure /lh)

Now if I remember correctly, the audio where Angel learns about Gabe, it's been around 3 years since his passing. Keeping this in mind and in the spirit of being canon reminiscent, I think around/after this point is when Milo's feelings for David start to really bubble up. They've been building for awhile, much to his dismay. He's trying to play it cool, but his heart's in his damn throat any time David touches him casually or whenever the two of them are assigned to a job together. And he knows it's getting bad enough where he might lose focus, so he swallows his pride and does what he's been avoiding for months, if not years: asking Asher for advice.

"Alright, look: You and me both know that you had a lil crush on David when we were in high school. How the fuck did you get over it? I'm drowning, Ash." If this conversation is happening on the phone or at Asher's place, cue him yelling to Babe that they owe him 20 bucks (because it's funny to me <3). Asher asks Milo why he wants to get over the feelings so bad and Milo's like "'Cause this is David we're talking about." "So what?" "We've got... history. That complicates shit all on its own." "And?" "....Alright fine, and I'm also terrified he's not gonna feel the same. Happy?" Asher is being the little shit that he is, putting his arm around Milo's shoulder. "Listen. If I know David— And believe me, I do— What ya gotta do is be direct. If he doesn't feel the same, that's one thing. But if you even want a chance, you gotta be straight up with him. If you tried to ask him out casually, he'll just assume you're being friendly because that's what you are right now. Friends." Milo takes all this in and is like, "Nope, just gonna shove these feelings down for eternity." "I'll tell Marie—" "I will beat your ass." He knows Asher has a point though. Any idea Milo might've had could be easily construed as them just chilling as friends. But he doesn't really act on anything for awhile.

Now, before we get into the next phase of this, some added backstory: David had a crush on Milo growing up. I'm thinking a little after high school (won't say college necessarily since I don't picture them in college but like, young adulthood phase). He'd always found Milo incredibly attractive and found his boldness admirable in general. David was constantly thinking about what he had to do for others and how to make the pack look good (since he was the Alpha's kid then the pack Beta). Milo always felt incredibly refreshing to be around. But he figured Milo would never be interested in because David's just himself so he eventually got over it. Cut to that argument him and Milo had a few years back. He remembers that night when they made up because dinner had been fine but all he could do was focus on Milo. It felt nice to just hang out with him without the pressures of being Alpha. And he enjoyed listening to him talk about anything because he always had a strong opinion. I think around then is when his past feelings awoke again but there was a new obstacle: He was the Alpha of the pack. It wasn't like before, things were different. He'd never have a chance to pursue Milo without feeling like he had pushed Milo into a corner somehow. So again, he tried his best to push his feelings down, appreciate and value the friendship he had with Milo and leave it at that. It was enough to just have Milo in his life, even if it wasn't going to go any further.

Back to how these two end up together: the Moonbound Solstice. They're all at David's place, everyone's having a good time together. Milo's chilling, talking to someone from the pack when Asher cuts in and is like "Sorry, just gonna steal him for a minute" "Ash, you can't just— AY okay okay I'm coming" They walk off, somewhere far from the kitchen to minimize the risk of David overhearing. In hushed voices: "Alright, so what's the plan?" "Ash, what the fuck are you talking about?" "Milo, it's the Solstice. This is the perfect time to make a move." "Are you out of your damn mind? This is the last place I should be hitting on— On you know who." "What are you talking about it, it's perfect! The whole pack's here, no one would even notice." "Look, he's already got his hands full hosting the Solstice at his own place for a change. I'm just gonna chill and enjoy the night for what it is." Asher is pouting as Milo walks off, immediately thinking of what he can do to help nudge David Milo's way. (Unhinged alt route: Ash giving Milo a flat so he has to stay the night)

Cut to the end of the night, people are heading out and whatnot. David is subtly trying to get people out because he loves his pack but his senses need a break. Asher (+ Babe, package deal) and Milo offer to stay and help clean, and David lets them since it's only a handful of people. Milo's keeping his cool, vibing to the much lower playing music when: "Babe, what do you mean you have a work call you need to take tonight? Can't it wait?" "Sorry, Ash, I need to be home in the next twenty minutes" "Alright. Guess we're heading early." Milo thinks nothing of it until he makes eye contact with Babe. They smile with a sickeningly sweet wave. Those bastards. Before Milo can try to rope Ash into staying somehow, the two of them are gone.

When Milo and David are alone, Milo tries his best to focus on the task at hand because feelings or not, he's not gonna do a shit job at cleaning so David has to clean up after him. Once the bulk of it is done, David mentions that he needs to grab something from upstairs or maybe says he's going to go change out of his clothes (I imagine he put on something better looking but not as comfortable for the solstice). Milo's chill with that, getting his keys, phone, other personal belongings together. He happens to slip into the kitchen though, stealing a bit more of the food David had made for the solstice. While he's stealing (said with love), he hears very close to his ear: "You can take some home if you want." He nearly punches David, gripping his arm as he tries to slow his heart rate. "You tryin' give a guy a heart attack, Shaw (/lh)" because he legit didn't hear David come back downstairs. "Maybe if you weren't busy trying to steal some food, you would've heard me— Greer (/lh)." Milo rolls his eyes with a grin and there's a moment of quiet when he realizes his hand is still on David's arm.

He lets go, clearing his throat, confirming that it's actually cool if he wants to take some of the food home with him. David says sure, giving him a container to fill (or Milo takes whatever the food came in, not sure what I'm picturing David's cooking set-up to be). David walks Milo to the door (as a good host does) and the two of them talk in the doorway for a few minutes about upcoming jobs, responsibilities, all that formal shit. There's another quiet moment as the two of them watch each other. Inside, Milo's like "Alright, no one else is here. This is as good a chance as any." The second he gets ready to ask David out on a more proper date, David instead says "Good night, Milo" and essentially closes the door in his face. Milo stares for a moment before cursing himself in Spanish (my HC), walking to his car and muttering about how "Of course he was just being polite, what the fuck were you thinking?" On the other side of the door, David is groaning into his hands, face warm as he tries to calm down because he came way too close to making a move on Milo.

Intermission (Wow, you're still reading? Damn /pos): I wanted to think of how to push them closer to a confession before they actually get together and eventually settled on "sickfic shenanigans". Insert deliriously sick Milo whose phone died and he can't find a charger for the life of him so David goes over to his place to check on him. Initially, he's trying to get David to leave because "I can handle myself fine". But that doesn't last long because admittedly, he feels like shit and has been for the past 12 hours. The dynamic quickly turns into Milo convincing David to stay then being so sick his filter is hanging on by a thread (/lh). "Why do you have to go rush off so fast?" "Milo, I have a pack to take care of—" "First off, I'm part of the pack— (cue Milo coughing) And second, they'll be fine without their Alpha for a few hours." Milo's playing it off as lighthearted but David can tell he doesn't want to be cooped up inside alone on top of feeling like shit physically. A little later, when Milo's on the verge of falling asleep (as many do while sick), he's like "Y'know, it's fucking wild you don't got a mate, David. Like look at you. Doesn't make sense" David laughs at first, thinking Milo's sick delirious (which he is, but that's affecting his filter, not the validity of his words). He's like "ay, why are you laughing, I'm serious. Look— if I were ya mate, I'd treat ya right. I'd cook, I'd work extra hours so I could see ya, I'd make sure we're the best dressed wherever we go— not to mention, I got a great dick." David writes this off as Milo being sick and spewing nonsense but never forgets the words. Meanwhile, Milo (after getting over the sickness) is convinced he dreamt saying any of that to David.

Back to the present, David's been a bit stressed with work as of late so Asher suggests the pack take a trip/weekend vacation. He says he'll handle figuring everything out, letting David take a backseat this time. They go somewhere, a resort, a hotel, something that involves people having rooms they're staying in. Everyone's having a good time, chilling all day, night rolls around. David's in his room when he realizes he forgot to pack something— can be anything. Toothpaste, a charger, something for his hair, the specifics aren't important. He texts Asher, asking if he has the thing he forgot and Ash is like yeah. David asks Ash which room he's staying in, Ash texts him the room number. David leaves his room, goes there, knocks and waits patiently. Door opens, and who's standing there? Milo, shirtless and in the middle of brushing his teeth or some shit.

David's checking his phone to see if he went to the wrong room but nope, numbers match. "Asher must've made a typo. I just needed to borrow something from him." "Well, what did you need? Maybe I have it." Before David can leave, Milo's busy ushering him in, closing the door so he can finish brushing his teeth before finding what David needs. They're making idle conversation, talking about what they spent their respective days doing. While Milo's talking, David's kind of staring at his back, not processing a word he's saying. Milo turns around and notices and is like "What? Don't tell me there's a bug on me and you didn't say shit? (/lh)" and David is trying to think of a good cover up. Milo tries to lighten the mood, says he's just messing with David before going to find whatever David's looking to borrow. He finds it, hands it over when for a split second, his eyes land on David's crotch. David leaves shortly there after but all night, Milo's like "...That was a boner... why the fuck did he have a boner?" But again, Milo's mind is like "Nah, I'm reading this wrong somehow."

Now, I'm painting a picture: it's the next day, Ash, Milo, David, few others from the pack plan on doing something together while on the trip. Asher gets there a bit late but is somehow on time compared to David, who shows up minutes after (that man was up all night pining). Ash notices Milo's not here yet and has a devious idea (as always). He asks David to go check on Milo so they can go. "Why me?" "You were the last one here, it's only fair. Now shoo." David rolls his eyes but goes, getting to Milo's room, knocking. He can hear Milo's definitely inside because he's cursing and complaining. He knocks again before the door swings open to reveal a mildly disgruntled Milo Greer (my vision is he's in pants and a white tank with his name chain. The in between outfits outfit).

He asks what David is doing there, David explains that Asher sent him to pick up Milo, Milo's like "What time is it— Jesus fucking Christ." The issue at hand is Milo can't find an article of clothing that he swears he put in his bag. He's been trying to get by with alternative options but none of them look the way he wants them to, which is making him quietly lose his shit. David stifles a laugh, to which Milo lasers in on. "And what do you think you're laughing at?" "You haven't changed since we were kids, that's all." Milo scoffs but admittedly, the sentiment puts a smile on his face. Almost immediately after that moment, he finally finds what he was looking for (tucked under something, irrelevant right now). He starts to get ready, pulling his shirt on, buttoning it up but let's say a button or two is fighting him for whatever reason. Without a second thought, David walks up, buttoning it for Milo. Milo's having an internal moment as a result, staring at David's hands then his face. David finishes and looks up to catch Milo staring. He clears his throat, saying something about waiting in the hall when Milo catches his wrist.

"Can I take you out on a date?" "What?" "I don't know what or where yet, but I just— I know this is probably stupid and I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but Asher's gonna kick my ass if I don't do something so— Can I take you out on a date, David?" David's taken aback. "Wait... so you were serious. That time you were sick. All that stuff you said about being a good mate for me." "THAT WASN'T A DREAM?" Cue Milo letting go of David's hand and nearly cursing himself out, running a hand through his hair because now he's mortified. "I can't believe I actually said all that shit to you—" "Did you mean it?" "Huh?" For the first time, David's not looking at Milo like a friend or pack Alpha. The look in his eyes screams pure, unfiltered attraction. "Yes or no, Milo." Milo's face is hot, "Course I meant it. I'd treat you great if you gave me the chance to show you." David steps closer, gripping Milo's face gently and tilting it up towards his. "Show me." Milo grins before pulling David down to him, the kiss they shared far better than the ones he remembered from spin the bottle games they'd played as teens. This kiss felt deeper and closer than that could ever compare. The moment they break away, gasping for air, Milo's busy unbuttoning his shirt. David asks what he's doing, to which Milo replies "I'm about to savor as much time with you as I can before I have to see Asher's smug face. Unless you'd like to explain how your hair became a mess between the time you left to find me and when you get back?" David laughs before pulling Milo to him again.

So yeah, that concludes this fic adjacent ramble (/lh)! I love rarepairs and rambling, so if people enjoy this, I may format some other rambles as they arise. I think I've got some Sam/David tucked away somewhere, so let me know. If you actually read all of this, wow, okay, thank you (/lh /pos)

#redacted david #redacted milo #redacted rambles #rarepair #mdni #PK Fic Adjacents #Making a tag now because who knows #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted rarepairs #Also yes I'm inconsistent in how I write Milo's style of speaking #I'm vibing so what /lh

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demon-of-the-ancient-world · 13 hours

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So hm. How do I say this without coming across as mean.

Obviously it is fine and acceptable and normal for ace people to still want to engage with romantic/sexual media. Of course it is possible and a lot of ace people can relate to it! You're not any less aspec if you enjoy smut or romance.

However. I do see a...hm. preference I guess for this 'type' of aspec person, especially on here. And while I'm grateful that positivity posts and acknowledgement for people who can relate to that experience exist, it kind of rubs me the wrong way to see almost nothing about or for people who just straight up don't want to engage with sexual media/content. I guess because there's been a resurgence in sex positivity socially (which, again, good thing), there's also this idea that if you aren't interested in that sort of content it's assumed that you're against it all together, that you're an uptight old fashioned person and a prude, that you're boring. People jump to that conclusion even if really, you don't care what others enjoy -- but it isn't for you.

And I guess this all comes back to like...how ace people are still perceived even within supposedly inclusive spaces. It feels like it's gone from "ace people can still enjoy sex" and "ace people can still enjoy reading romance/smut" (again, correct statements I agree with) to "it's okay if you're ace, as long as sex still kind of interests you. It's fine to be ace if you still read smut, because we can still relate to you on that level."

And this also reminds me of just how "weirdness" is treated by society --even on tumblr, which claims itself to be a haven for "weird". If you're into something unusual, that's weird - unless it's a fetish. Then it's still weird, but it's weird in an intriguing way, it's weird in an acceptable and at least somewhat relatable way, because it's about sex. If it's not about sex...it's just weird, even to the "weird" people.

I see writing posts all the time encouraging people to "write that dark fucked up story", and it's clear what they mean is "write that dark sexual story with a bunch of kinks you've been told are socially unacceptable". The second you write something "dark" that has nothing to do with sex, it's just labelled depressing, or overly bleak, or something only an "edgelord" would write.

And I do get it - people, especially people who have been raised to strongly associate sex with something that is forbidden and "bad", want to break those barriers and indulge in the sides of them that are considered taboo by their society and social circles, without shame. It makes sense. And I support you in creating art and expressing yourself in ways that show that off if that is what makes you feel liberated. I really do.

But idk, it's just not my experience as an ace person, and I can't be the only one. Sexual desires aren't things that I find "shameful" or something I need to "indulge in" if I'm going to be in any way rebellious, because I very rarely experience them and don't really understand them. Being "myself" in a way that lets out what I've been holding back and suppressing just looks different.

Yet there's this pressure now to "let your weird out" --only if that "weird" somehow relates to sex, though. It's this idea that sex makes things relatable and idk more palatable? Even the weirdest shit is "less" offputting if it relates to sex. If it doesn't though, then you're just weird in a way that's alienating and unforgivable.

#asexual #acespec #rant #idk #please don't take this the wrong way

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blazingstaro · 7 months

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Hey gang! DotS:MMM update!

I will preface: the comic is still live and shall continue at an irregular schedule until I can pull myself together and get back into the flow

Frankly I have not felt up to drawing and forcing myself into a grind. I need to pace myself and not feel like this is an obligation. I started feeling like I had to make pages to keep up the pace and not disappoint, but that started to really ebb at my enjoyment of making this comic

This is my hobby, and not my job. Nobody pays me to make these. I make this because I like it and want to tell a story. Something I have to constantly remind myself, despite the pressure of disappointing my readers with my inconsistency. These days I draw in bursts and end up losing my stamina because I become emotionally overwhelmed

My energy is still fickle. I'm bombarded with overwhelming negativity at home from various sources, including personal stress and depression caused by my current life situation. What I make to decompress shouldn't be a stresser either

I'll continue to chip away at finishing these pages for DotS:MMM Part One, but it will be at my own pace. I'll post again once I feel ready and satisfied enough with how many pages I have in hand. Deadlines stress me out and kill my motivation to draw. Again it makes me feel obligated to do this stuff, to make it instead of just being something I enjoy and have fun with

Also Orpheus decided to worm his way in, so now I have to rewrite some scripts to as well fix a tremendous continuity error that Orpheus has come in to correct. This man makes me rewrite everything, I swear omg

You'll see what I mean in later parts of DotS:MMM

Thank you guys as always for your patience! 💖

Additionally for you all, my Tumblr lovelies, I'll continue to answer asks! Might be able to squeeze in a sketch or two as I go, but goodness I have to constantly train myself to draw for fun and not treat it like work. Tumblr has been helping with that a lot

My previous following several years ago on dA used to pressure me into keeping up with my own content and would punish me with hateful comments if I didn't post art of their fave OC of mine often enough (yes my OWN oc, not a fan character), and UGHGHGH MAN. HEAVEN FORBID I posted a new design without some sort of specific ritual first, just up and dropped a new character like "hi hello this is bleebo blorbie my new baby blorbo kthx bye". They'd throw a fit over that too. Not everyone of course, but it was a lot of people

I was bullied by fans of my own original content 😭 you see why I do fan stuff these days

It wasn't even remotely done, didn't even have a comic or story; people lusted over my own designs. I felt like I had to finish a story that never wanted to be told just to make ends meet, to appease the unappeasable, and burnt myself out entirely on the series to where I had to scrap the whole thing.

Thankfully that's not the case anymore, with my current following being great and sweet, but on rare occasions a rare impatient reader will show themselves on dA specifically

I appreciate you guys being so chill and kind to me throughout this year 😭 Tumblr gang I've always loved y'all. I haven't felt at home on a site in so long

#blazin beeps #dots news #dots comic #dots:mmm #I've been in a creative rut for months #it's been pretty rough on my productivity #I've been slowly getting better and getting out of it in the past couple of weeks #getting back onto fixing up mainline DotS too #things are slowly coming back together #just need to stitch it back into place

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tunedtostatic · 2 months

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Life update (not good)

And asking for help though I don't think anyone I know on Tumblr will be able to help with this, but I am trying to cast a wide net.

After my "there's a good chance things might actually be okay-adjacent soon but I'm scared it won't and hope it will" post I was really hoping I would have a "Things worked out!" update, but unfortunately this. Right now my life is not close to worst it's been (this year and last are still the best years in a long while!) but things have been fucked up.

I don't know how to say "i don't scare easy" without it sounding like country-western braggadocio but but the last few years have included living with creeps, living out of my car, various varyingly obnoxious brushes with death, and this is a more five-alarm fire level than average, even though still hopeful and still better than things are for many people for sure.

My internal project this past month and a half has been working on getting myself to 100% believe that it is 100% possible for me to die, which is not something I /didn't/ before - I wrote a will in 2019, and I had a long conversation with a friend in 2022 about the possibility of dying, obviously it's been on my mind - but i think it's just really hard for human beings (or at least me) to /really/ feel like it's possible to die in whatever dangerous situations we're in because we're just kind of neurologically wired for a certain amount of optimism in the face of death. At least the last few years it's not like there is one specific monster with big teeth chasing me, so it's easy to be like, well, statistically I /probably/ won't die from that or this or the other - like, if [medical stuff, living on the road, violence, hospital-acquired covid if I end up in hospital now that most hospitals aren't taking covid precautions here, &c] together means I have a 3x or 4x or 20x higher risk of dying than the average person in their late 20s, then people in our late twenties still don't die very often so mathematically that's still just multiplying three or four or twenty times /a really low number/ in the first place.

Statistically I will probably live...and neurologically I'm wired to say "I'm gonna make it :)"…but that means that this month and a half (have to do a double take because it's only been a month and a half! somehow!) I've had to make it a little internal project to continuously remind myself that it is 100% possible for me to die and I need to take everything that seriously, accordingly.

So many people, victim services nonprofits, &c over the years have come down so much more on the side of "Look into my eyes. You WILL get through this." than be worried about me, so I'm the one who has to take this on and remind myself it is 100% possible for me to die, so that I can take everything exactly as seriously as it needs to be taken, and also try to kick my own ass into hiding in shitty coping mechanisms less.

I have things SO much better than many people (!!) (which i know is a Thing Everyone Says out of free-floating guilt when they're struggling, but also, it's definitely true in this instance, and i don't want y'all to worry about me disproportionately). Things are bad but I also do know what I'm doing somewhat, after handling crises for so many years, and I also have alotalot of luck, which I am incredibly and unspeakably grateful for.

(Speaking of the positive, a lot of the current situation was kicked off by an especially scary medical scare last month that wrecked a lot of shit, and very luckily, most of the scariest medical stuff has been ruled out! That's one reason to be optimistic! Though I need to then bring it back to "Do /not/ let this let you take your eye off the ball, dude, everything else is still fucked up and it is still possible for you to die so Take This Seriously.")

The thing is, most of the pieces that made me hopeful at the beginning of last month when I was posting here are /still here/ ready to be put together. I had to drop out of my class this semester but I'm still in good standing in the certificate program I started and if I can fix the rest of my life enough I can start another class this summer. I /have/ a not super lucrative but decent and interesting paid side hustle, I have volunteering and helping others I can do, I have writing I can do, as long as I can get things a decent amount of unfucked. I am still jonesing to get on here and give y'all the Good Update.

I've avoided nonprofits and hotlines for the last year and a half, since my last go-round ended up doing more harm than good, but I sucked it up and told myself maybe it would be better this time and it was not, so this week I need to call another, unrelated victim services nonprofit to tell them the nonprofit I contacted last month did [deeply awful stuff] so that I can have a paper trail for /that/ so /that/ doesn't make the original problem worse, which is kind of the opposite of what one is looking for when one calls a nonprofit "for help."

(I don't want to dissuade people from seeking help from support services - I'm having mental images of someone reading this and not getting the help they need because I talked shit about nonprofits - but I guess I /would/ say, I /do/ want people to go in knowing that there are people who will help, and there are people who can't help (which depending on the context might be fair and there is nothing they can do), and there are also people who will demean you or not believe you or promise things they don't deliver. And I could write a post on how to try to stay safe when interfacing with nonprofits that supposedly represent "help" and "safety" and often do not, but sometimes absolutely do, but I am evidently still learning myself, so I will just say come in with backup plans, and if they hurt you it was not your fault.)

I spent my childhood in what I call "the casserole world" - culturally it was normal for friends or family to bring each other a casserole or help with errands when something hard happened and my specific context was functional enough that people would do that kind of thing. So!! Asking for help on here, if anyone has a spouse or friend or uncle who likes helping with logistical things like reading hundreds of dentist office reviews to find dentists who both accept Medicaid and are not evil incarnate or online discount clothing shopping - I don't really expect to find that kind of help here (back at it with the statistics), so in a way it's more that I don't want to cut myself off from the possibility. If 9 out of 10 times "just ask for help :)" isn't actually a thing, that means that you still need to, at least sometimes, cautiously ask the metaphorical tenth time when you find a place where that's not going to hurt someone else and it seems plausible. Like I said, I'm trying to cast a wide net!

(Editing for typoes and to add a Medicaid explanation for those not in the U.S.: Medicaid is free insurance e.g. free healthcare for people who make very little money, and it is free to the patient, but many doctors don't accept Medicaid, and the ones that do tend to be, uh. Bad. Or booked out for months, if they are not bad.)

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