#i've probably said this already but i feel so damn lucky to have landed an autist1c psychiatrist

[viksalos]

my psychiatrist has started (autistically) unmasking with me during the past 2-3 sessions we've had, and i also started neurodivergent-affirming therapy the past couple weeks, and HOLY SHIT is it freeing to finally have a mental healthcare team i can unmask around lol

[the-likesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

So I've never made one of these rec lists before so bear with me but I felt like the authors in this fandom deserved some loving so here's a few that I've read recently(ish) that I wanted to pass on. I’m going to try to do this semi-regularly maybe. 

Pleaseee please don’t get upset if your fic isn’t on the list, my intention is not to upset anyone that being said if you have a fic (yours or someone else's) that you wanna send me to read then please do! I am always looking for new recs for myself) ❤️

REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

drink the river dry by Rianne (@rianneeyre)

It wasn’t until they were discussing his discharge paperwork and painkiller schedules that it really sunk in for Eddie that Buck would be staying with him and Christopher. That he would be around 24/7 except for his shifts at work. That he’ll sleep on the couch, where he’s been sleeping for days now to look after Christopher. The worst part is that it’s necessary—Eddie isn’t going to be able to do a damn thing for himself for the next couple of weeks. He’s lucky if he can put a shirt on by himself a month from now. Yeah, that’s going to be a problem.

Or: Eddie gets shot, breaks up with his girlfriend, and pines like there’s no tomorrow.

as the lights go down by BekkaChaos (@bekkachaos)

Buck is trying to adjust the neighbourhood power supply to stop the newly hung Christmas lights from tripping out, but he is not as handy as he thinks. Eddie watches from the bottom of the ladder, knowing things can only end badly.

Under Kitchen Light by WheelsUpIn_Five (@two-cut-lines)

It’s 3am and the left-hand side of the bed is cold. Buck’s tired fingers grasp at the sheets, his brain lagging behind.

“Eddie?” It’s mumbled, barely audible, and receives no answer. He prises his eyes open and fumbles for his bedside lamp to push back the shadows of the pitch-black room. He’s alone, and Eddie’s place is cold.

from the ashes by casfallsinlove (@oliverstarked)

It makes the breath catch in Buck’s lungs. He doesn’t know how it’s possible when he’s just spoken to him but suddenly he misses Eddie with such a fierce intensity that it leaves him aching. He presses the phone to his chest so hard it hurts, but he wants the words inside of him, wants them bruised onto his skin and scratched into his ribs. You’re the love of my fucking life, he wants to say back. What he actually types is just as honest.

Sent 10:53pm I miss you.

In which Buck's father dies and Buck takes the long way home.

Sometime Around Midnight by Bob_loblaws_lawblog (@buddierights)

Every moment Buck feels as if he loves Eddie as much as possible, and every moment he’s proven wrong by falling even more in love. He’s proven wrong again as Eddie shifts so he’s facing Buck, lifting his leg onto the couch so that his shin is flush against Buck’s thigh, bringing them closer.

“Buck.” Eddie speaks his name quietly, like its something precious. And Buck falls even more as Eddie captures his gaze in those warm, brown eyes.

OR a series of miscommunication leads to confusion and mistakes, until everything finally becomes clear.

blue enough to bruise by renecdote (@renecdote)

Two things happen at once:

Buck overbalances, arm slipping from around the bridge.

The rope snaps.

They lock eyes for a second, half a second, Buck’s wide and afraid, Eddie’s probably a match with the way his heart is pounding hard enough to hurt, nothing either of them can do, knowing that there is nothing either of them can do, and then—Buck is falling.

love finds a way by alkaysani (@alkaysanii)

It was a quiet day after a long shift, and Buck landed in Eddie’s home instead of his own loft afterwards, dead on his feet. After a much-needed shower and takeout, he found himself wrapped in a throw blanket that Abuela made for Eddie that he keeps on the couch, Eddie pressed against him, their legs intertwined after the man just dropped beside him, eyes already on the TV.

For twenty days and twenty nights, the emperor penguin will march to a place so extreme it supports no other life. In the harshest places on earth, love finds a way.

“Love finds a way,” Eddie mutters, so softly that Buck’s not even sure if he realizes that he’s doing it, but he’s turning to look at him anyway. What he finds is beautiful: Eddie’s brown eyes illuminated by the light coming from the television, reflecting the white and blue of the snow on the screen.

OR the one where Buck finds love again while watching March of the Penguins with Eddie

out of ashes by ashavahishta (@ashavahishta)

“They found Buck.”

Hen’s hand goes to her chest. Chim stumbles like he’s been hit, hand curling around the back of a chair for balance.

And Eddie -

Eddie’s knees give out. He’s lucky there’s a chair right under him because he just buckles, head in hands, trying to remember how to breathe.

“Is he - did they - what…what did they find?”

“He’s alive.”

“What?” Eddie’s head snaps up.

If you do read any of these, please show the authors some love. Leave kudos, comments, stalk their tumblrs etc. maybe make a rec list of your own? Share the love around peeps and have a wonderful rest of your week xxxx

[thewertsearch]

Asks Compilation 20/11 - 1

Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy. The fairy girl then helps him walk again, and in return, he teaches her to fly, even though she probably already knows how to fly. Because she's a fairy. They fly out of her window together, and have magical adventures for many sweeps thereafter. To be honest, you hardly know a damn thing about Pupa Pan. But you do not care.

This is true. Even Vriska seems aware that she's misunderstanding the story - note that she herself points out the contradiction inherent in teaching a fairy to fly.

I guess it's possible that in Pupa Pan, the characters of Wendy and Tinkerbell have been combined - but it's much more likely that Vriska just doesn't give a shit about the lore, since she literally tells us that's the case.

I basically agree with your core point. I think Vriska really does believe that this training will make Tavros stronger. I also believe that she genuinely wants to help him grow.

...but I also think she's fully aware that it's cruel, and is enjoying tormenting him.

I'd need to see a lot more evidence before I'm willing to accept that Vriska actually likes Tavros in any sort of genuine or positive way. It feels much more like black romance to me.

[ This was all around page 2383 - C ]

Vriska loses a lot of points for what she considered doing to Tavros - but she didn't go through with it, and that doesn't mean nothing.

As I said at the time - there are some things even Vriska won't do. Why she considered it, and why she stopped, are complicated questions, and I think I'll be going back to this moment later in her arc.

Yeah, it really implies a lot about blue-bloods, and none of it is good. I know I'm a broken record at this point, but Alternia is absurdly fucked-up.

Jury's out. I think they're mostly human, since Nanna seems had a child with a non-Player - but then again, Dad could have been adopted. Who knows?

I think they'd start with toilets, and then move to progressively heavier and heavier objects, in order to test the limits of the Sburb cursor.

If it packs enough force to toss a bathtub around, what else can it do?

Haha, nice catch.

Let's say 'SS Tier' isn't a tier at all - it's a flag I apply to a single character, designating them as my current favorite. The hypothetical S+, however, would be an actual tier.

I've never seen it! That does explain what the fuck is going on here, though. I thought this might be an in-universe troll celebrity that Tavros idolized.

I'm lucky enough never to have known this type of person - although Vriska's personality does remind me of more than one middle manager I've encountered professionally.

To be honest, it's hard to tell which trolls canonically have disabilities, and which ones Karkat is just being a prick to.

I don't, to my knowledge, have any of the disabilities depicted in the comic, so I don't have much valuable insight to contribute. Hopefully we get an ADHD troll soon?

Hey, good point!

Although, I'm not sure if there's any hard evidence that the troll meteors didn't land in the brooding caverns. I guess the fact that the caverns are underground might present a problem, but the meteors could have fallen into crevices. Sgrub could totally make it happen.

Aradia, for sure - but her metal body would just make it explode.

This particular accidental reference has always been a pretty hard sell for me. Does anyone know for sure whether Hussie had heard about Lord British before the 'glitches' page?

Wait, why apples?

Oh, ok, that makes sense. It was his second ever message!

That's honestly such a cool title. - The WERT blogger.

I like it. I never considered that the positioning of the Kingdoms relative to the rest of the session would be a factor in the outcome of the war, but it makes perfect sense.

When you actually think about it, Derse could win the war on day one simply by annexing the Veil, preventing Prospit from cloning reinforcements. I guess that wouldn't be sporting, though.

This is true. We don't have the computational resources to solve chess - and there's a good chance we never will.

Interestingly, though, chess probably could be solved in the Homestuck universe, via the leveraging of computational resources from alternate timelines.

[fortheloveofdeaddove]

Mental health ramblings and a literal vomit rant

Thanks for the amazing messages of support recently. I read them all and take them to heart, and do a LOT of beating myself up for not always responding. Thanks for being understanding about that. In my support circle, there's is a secret 4th "person" that I have been saved by many times, but actively try not to rely on because that would be bad for many reasons. That secret 4th person is The Positive Interactions I Get On Tumblr.

Hm... Pounded By the Positive Interactions I Get On Tumblr sounds like a GREAT new title for @drchucktingle.

Anyway on to the title of the blog.

Am I sick, or am I depressed?

Like, vomiting feels near. Headache, check, full-body "medicated" feeling, check, hot and cold flashes, check, possible fever sweats or maybe just normal sweats cuz weather's bein' real frickin weird in the Land of Oz in March, check.

Circumstantial evidence suggests stomach flu is likely - it hit The Father, The Kiddo, and a huge percentage of my city's population *crosses self*.

Is it both? After several weeks of my version of pushing myself, this may be the natural low dip.

Is it my period? Probably that, too. The ol' endo pain has been tickling (that's not the right word but it's poetically speaking not the wrong word) at my sides, *checks* yup, boobs are sore. And last month's pimples are nearly healed indicating just about enough time has passed before I can expect new ones (I have a gyno appt on Friday next week - believe me, I am finally asking about getting The Scoop or whatever needs to be done to make this STOP).

Or, is it this weird 4th/5th thing where I'm a bad person and making this happen somehow with my attitude and tendency to "overstate things" (oooh, ouch, I'm still hung up on that). And codependency. Can't hurt to throw that in there (last sobriety meeting covered codependency And It Stirred Things).

Mainly I just wanna know if I'm gonna start projectile vomiting, and since I can't know until it's happening, I'm needlessly documenting this despite the increasing headache, AS WELL AS PREPARING UTTERLY.

Now for my very weird take on vomiting. Here's your chance to opt out of me non-graphically (imo) explaining my personal history with vomiting, vomiting technique, and vomiting etiquette. I do not have a purging eating disorder (no no, just the binge for me, I'm already near my disorder limit for my lifetime). You might be sensitive to/bothered by the following if you do deal with eating disorders.

For my kinksters, this is not about emotophilia. However, feel free to get off on this in the event that that is your thing. I don't love it, but I fully support YOU loving it. (Oh gawd I've turned into that Cringe Kink Parent... Hooray!)

The observant reader can very much tell I am an alcoholic( 172 or 3 days sober, 4 years into recovery journey).

I've long said of myself, even though it's a very weird thing to say facetiously though it's meant, "Self," I says, "if I'm ever being tortured for information (ha!), all they'd need to do is make me nauseous."

I can handle most anything else they could think of, but I'd break under nausea in an instant. I hate, I hate, I HATE nausea. No one loves it lets be real (wait, let me Google that... well, that's just gonna have to be for another day, and possibly a different search engine), but I do think I may have an irrational intolerance for it. I damn near panic. If I can't know for a fact that I can't hydrate, Pepto, or THC my way out of it, my finger is going DOWN DOWN DOWN my throat until enough momentum is going for a full sesh. And if I stop prematurely, that finger is going BACK down.

Additionally, vomiting is messy. Rarely is that the only "evacuating" you're doing at the same time (at least when you're me). And I hate nothing more than cleaning up puke or other fluids. So if I am lucky enough to have some forewarning, you will find me ON a toilet, with a nice, clean bucket or trashcan to puke into (just don't come looking for me, please, why would you do that).

There will be a cup/bottle of water there already, and I will have hydrated enough to make this a smooth operation. There will be a washcloth/towel. Once I even managed to have the space heater in the bathroom waiting for me, because I get really fucking cold AFTER puking. The fan will be on hand somewhere close by to point at me when I get hot before and DURING the vomiting.

I cannot parse the reasons why, but I'm still flattered by the compliment from my last ex - "Wow, you know how to puke like a professional." So many red flags lololol.

So anyway that's the end of my Puke Ted Talk. I'm gonna try and sleep and we'll see if I wake up at the witching hour to puke. Because it's always the witching hour. Have YOU ever woken up to puke at 2 am or 4 am? No. It's always 3.

[honeyoongiah]

Curtains

Pairings: Taehyung x reader 

Genre: Neighbour! Taehyung AU, fluff, angst, smut

Words: 6.3k

Warnings: mention of harassment, explicit sex 

Summary: You just moved out to study in another city when you met your new neighbour Taehyung. You instantly feel connected to him, but somehow life just doesn’t stop getting in your way.

A/N: This is an older piece but I love it. I had to translate it before I could post it because I wrote it in german originally. And since I had a chance now, I edited it a bit. Enjoy!

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" - "Your plane is departing soon, get in this damn taxi now!" I laughed and pushed my mother out the door. Her eyes were still glaring at me with concern while trying to get free. "I can always book a new flight." 

"Mom no, go now. I'm an adult, I can do this.", I said and gestured how tall I am already. "First of all you are only 22. And you live alone now! That's a big step. You were never very long or far away from me. In my eyes you'll always be my little one." 

I hugged my mother one last time and kissed her cheek. "Now go. Tell me when you land and greet my siblings. And thanks again for helping me out so much. Are you sure I shouldn't bring you to the airport?" - "Yes I'm sure darling and don't thank me, I'll always be there to help you. I'll call you from home then!" 

I watched my mother for a while until I closed the door of my new house and leaned against it from the inside. I really moved out now and my new home was not exactly around the corner. But I was lucky with this place, it's a beautiful estate and close to my university. 

I walked straight up to my refrigerator in the kitchen because my stomach grumbled. A glance at the clock told me that their war had been a while since my mom and I ate breakfast and I hoped she wasn't starving on her way right now.

My eyes looked right into a yawning void and I sighed in frustration as I didn't feel like going shopping now. In the end, I would have no other choice. It was Saturday and if I didn't have food for today, I'll definitely stay hungry tomorrow. 

I ran upstairs to my bedroom and grabbed my handbag that was placed on the bedside table and opened it. Phone, key, wallet. Everything inside. I took a quick look in the mirror and checked whether my pigtail was still sitting properly and pulled it again.

Then I ran back down the stairs and left my house, of course not without locking the door. I got in my car and started the engine. Less than 10 minutes later I stood in the parking lot of a grocery store and slammed my car door. With quick steps I entered the building and looked around. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, I could already hear my bed calling for me. 

After my bulk shopping was done and I paid an inhuman sum at the cash register, I had a hard time carrying it all to the car. Somehow I had made it and dropped the whole bags into my trunk. After I drove back and parked in my garage, I threw myself into my seat in frustration as I remembered how many heavy bags I would have to carry inside now. 

Come on, it doesn't take that long I tried to cheer myself up and forced myself to get out and go to my trunk again. I was able to carry the first 3 bags and just got the key out of my door when a small husky stared at me with an innocent look. "Um..." I got out of a urge to react as if the dog could answer me. I almost dropped the bags, but I was able to put them down in time and crouched down. 

"Well, who are you?" I asked and the dog cocked his head to the side. I held out my hand and waited for him to come closer to sniff it. Who knew if he had not experienced traumatic and maybe attacked when I act too harshly.

Slowly the husky puppy padded towards me and nestled his head on my hand. I started to stroke him properly and his tail back and forth happily. "Snowball?" I turned around, but at first I couldn't find who this dark voice belonged to. "Snowball? Snowball where are you?" 

Then the little one in front of me responded to these calls with even more wagging his tail. "I guess you're Snowball, right?" He barked loudly and I giggled. "Snowball?" Slowly he padded past me to his owner, I turned and looked up into two brown eyes that pierced mine. 

We just looked at each other for a few seconds until I finally woke up from my rigidity and got up. "Um, hi. I'm y/n, I just moved in here." - "I'm Kim Taehyung and I live in the house next door.", said the other person while pointing to his house and grinning shyly. I returned the grin and looked over. "It's nice to meet you." 

"Nice to meet you too. I'm sorry if Snowball scared or annoyed you. He just ran away when I wanted to get the mail in and I couldn't catch him straight away  and then he already was out of my sight.", He laughed and scratched his neck nervously. 

"Oh, no problem. I love dogs and Snowball is really cute.", I replied honestly and looked down at him again. "Okay, then I'm relieved. Still sorry and thank you for taking care of him. I don't want to bother you any longer."

His eyes fell on the shopping bags by the door and he looked back at me. "Do you need help carrying it in?"- "Oh ah no, it's okay. I'll be fine," I said, waving my arms around in the air.

"Sure? It's not a problem for me to lend a hand."

His long brown-gray hair fell into his eyes and he ran his fingers elegantly through them while his eyes continued to look at me. „I am sure these aren‘t the only bags, if you just moved in here. Come on, let me help you.“

I gave up and nodded. Taehyung's smile widened immediately and he nodded back in confirmation. "The rest is in the trunk. I go and open the door already, so Snowball won't run away again."

Taehyung let Snowball into my house and carried the 3 bags from the front of my door to the kitchen, then he came to my garage and took as many bags as he could carry.

"I can take some too," I muttered, but he just shook his head and walked back inside my house.

I locked the car and the garage, then I followed him.

"Should I help you unpack, too?"

"No no, that would really be too much to ask for. Thanks for your help, would you like some coffee?", I walked over to my machine and looked at him questioningly. "Oh no, I don't want to bother you."

"It’s totally fine and besides you just helped me and I want to give you something back." - "Well if you insist then it would be my pleasure.", I nodded contentedly and let the coffee machine do its work while I leaned against the counter. "So why did you move here?"

"I am here for my studies, the university is just around the corner. I also always wanted to be independent as early as possible." Taehyung nodded and surveyed the facility. "Everything is already ready here."

"My mother was here and helped me with everything. She flew back this morning."

"Do you miss her already?" - "I didn’t get to that part yet, to be honest. Since she's gone, I've only been grocery shopping, nothing more." I laughed and Taehyung joined in. We talked about our life for a while and I found out that he studied at the university like me and that he had lived here alone for a few years. Unlike my family, his family lived near him, only that he still didn't see them too often. They didn't have a particularly close relationship. He had Snowball only for a few weeks and he made him really happy, even if it brought him into all kinds of problematic situations.

"I'll be gone then too, my girlfriend is probably wondering where I am," he explained to me with a smile and went to the door. A part of me was really sad that he was apparently in firm hands. "Thanks again for your help."

"Thanks for the coffee. If you need something, just come over."

I closed the door, started to put my groceries in the fridge and finally made myself something to eat. Later my mother called me and told me that she had arrived safely but would fly back at any time if I needed anything. With a laugh I declined her offer and we hung up. I spent most of the following evenings curled up on my sofa watching some trivial series on TV before my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep. One night I heard someone shouting and winced. I slowly opened my eyes and was startled because I was not used to the surroundings.

I switched on the light and turned the television off. Is someone arguing? So loud in the middle of the night? I decided to go to my bedroom after going to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Shortly after I entered my room and wanted to open the window when I noticed that I could look perfectly into the room across the street. Two people faced each other and seemed pretty angry. I could see that one of them is probably Taehyung and that the woman with him must have been his girlfriend.

She raised her hand and landed directly on his cheek. I flinched in surprise, but Taehyung kept a straight face. He said something else to her that I didn't understand and she left the room. Still staring in shock, I stared over until his eyes met mine and I felt caught.

You don't stalk people just like that, I thought and I blushed. Taehyung just smiled and shaped a sorry with his lips. I shook my head to signal that he didn't have to apologize for anything and he nodded.

I smiled goodbye to him again and then pulled my curtains shut. Apparently he was having a fight with his girlfriend. I hoped that would settle down soon and went to bed. A few weeks passed and I met Taehyung a few times at the university and in front of the house. I found out that he had broke up with his girlfriend and he apologized again for waking me up.

I also got to know the first people and made a few contacts. A boy named Jimin seemed to be particularly interested in me and he invited me to dinner. I thought why not? and agreed. He was really attractive and friendly, you could talk to him well, so I was looking forward to my date. On that day the doorbell rang and I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

Jimin wanted to be here in an hour? I wasn't done with getting ready yet. I trudged to the door and found Taehyung. "Hey, I wanted to ask, if you would like to see a movie or something today? I cooked and there would be something for you too." In fact, I would have liked this, but I was already appointed. "I'm sorry, I'm busy today. Next time?"

Taehyung was visibly disappointed but he smiled anyway. "No problem, what are you doing?" Somehow it was uncomfortable for me to tell Taehyung that I was on a date, but it couldn't be avoided. "I'm having dinner with Jimin, I think you know him." His eyes widened and he looked away in shame. "Oh oh yes, I know Jimin. He is really nice. I wish you a good time." We said goodbye and I got ready for my date. It was really nice, Jimin picked me up and opened all the doors for me, adjusted my chair and even paid. He was really courteous and gracious but also funny.

We stopped at my front door to say goodbye. "I enjoyed my evening with you, y/n." Jimin smiled shyly and scratched the back of his head. "I thought it was very nice too." I admitted honestly and he smiled brighter. But something was missing. Jimin slowly reached down to me, watching my reaction closely and resting his forehead on mine. When I didn't move away, he gently put his lips on mine and I returned the kiss. We quickly broke apart and Jimin said goodbye for today.

This was followed by some dates, some kisses and at some point we were a couple.

"Do you want to go out today, honey?" He asked as he hugged me from behind and rested his head on my shoulder as I made myself a tea. "I don't care, we can stay here as long as we are together." I replied and got a kiss on the head. "You are so adorable."

Jimin was really the perfect boyfriend and I enjoyed being close. Spending time with him was pure relaxation for me and yet I couldn't help feeling that I was missing something. But I didn't tell him, I didn't want to hear it myself and gave everything to be a good girlfriend to him. We sat on the sofa and I leaned against him. He immediately put an arm around me and put my cup on the table. "Hey, I wanted to drink it now!" I laughed.

Jimin leaned down to me and pressed his soft lips against mine. I sighed contentedly and he grinned into our kiss. "It makes me so happy to make you happy."

"You poet." I giggled and united our lips again. Just as he was about to lean over me, the doorbell rang. Jimin already had his lower lip out formed to a pout and I laughed. "I‘ll go."

Jimin got up and arrived at the front door in a few steps. "Oh, hey Tae. What's up?" Immediately I became clairaudient and got up to go to the door. I stood next to Jimin, who automatically put his hand around my waist. Tae's gaze immediately fell on it and I felt an uneasy feeling. "I-I just cooked too much again and wanted to bring something over. So you are together now?" 

Jimin and I nodded, he definitely more vigorously than me. Taehyung put on a false smile and nodded. "I'm happy for you. Then you can eat it together, it'll be enough for two people." If it was enough for two, half was definitely not for Jimin and I felt bad to have canceled again when Taehyung indirectly asked me to meet. We said goodbye and I watched Tae walk down the stairs until Jimin closed the door. "Delicious food." Jimin murmured as he greedily examined the baking pan and I had to laugh.

Time flew and two years passed by quickly. Taehyung and I saw each other every now and then, when I was jogging and he went for a walk with Snowball. Who, by the way, had already become huge. Sometimes we were even grocery shopping at the same time. I also saw him go to bed every night because our bedrooms were facing each other and we always went around the same time to close the curtains. It was like a ritual. Neither of us mentioned it and neither said it was intentional, but we both knew we were eagerly waiting for 10 p.m. to finally be able to walk to the curtains and smile at each other least a few seconds a day.

After two years of relationship, I broke up with Jimin. He was a perfect boyfriend but he wasn't... perfect for me. The feeling that I was missing something grew bigger and bigger and echoed loudly in my head. I couldn't go on like this. Jimin was hurt, but understanding as expected. Again I met Taehyung while jogging, but this time I wouldn't just keep walking with a smile. I stopped, to mine and to his amazement. "Hey, Taehyung. We haven't talked in a long time," I said kindly.

"That's right, how are you doing right now?"

"Oh, it's okay so far, there's a lot going on right now," I replied. Please ask about Jimin, it shot through my head and I was scared of myself. Why did I want that? "Yes, the university is troubling us all. How's Jimin?" Yes! "I don't know, we broke up," I said, and I could have sworn to see a quick smile on his lips. "I'm sorry, you were together a long time." I nodded. "It was my decision. Something was missing," I emphasized. "Sometimes there are things that aren‘t meant to be and sometimes you have it right in front of you and you don't recognize it." he said absently and avoided eye contact.

We said goodbye and I thought about his words. Was he thinking about us? What would have been if he had not been taken or if it wasn’t directly after his breakup? What if his invitation had come a tick earlier? Would I have been with Jimin at all? I soon decided to cook too and bring him something over there. In fact, I still had one of his baking tins and decided to make a potato casserole.

But the university tore at my nerves and I couldn't find any time. Taehyung always seemed tired and stressed when I saw him in the evening or met him at the post office. Finally, half a year later, when I still hadn't given him his shape back, maybe just to be able to do this, I found the time and cooked for us. All day I was happy that it finally worked and something inside of me tingled with excitement. The thought of eating and talking with Taehyung, maybe laughing, gave me goose bumps and a pleasant warmth ran through my stomach.

I never had that with Jimin.

Humming happily, I cooked my casserole and looked proud at my work when I took it out of the oven. I let it cool down a bit and ran upstairs to choose something to wear.

Simple or a little bit more prettied up? We would only eat, but I still wanted to look good.

I entered my bedroom and automatically looked over into his.

My smile immediately disappeared when I realized that he was standing there with a girl and kissed her soulfully as they moved towards the bed. My stomach tightened but I couldn't look away. He held her face with one hand and with the other he pulled her closer to his waist.

She had buried her fingers in his hair and was playing with them.

I seemed to have been too noticeable because a few seconds later he broke away from her and looked in my direction. Just in time I could pretend to get my cell phone off the bed and disappear.

Before I left the room I looked over again. He had turned back to her and probably hadn't noticed that I had seen her. I sadly went down the stairs and wondered what I wanted to do alone with so much casserole. Then I just had something to eat for two days, I thought to myself, but I couldn't just keep it. It was meant for him and he should get it.

I got out a pen and a small piece of paper and wrote a message.

"Sorry for bringing over your cake tray so late. The casserole is for you and your girlfriend. Sorry, I didn't want to stalk! ~ y/n" I packed the form in aluminum foil and stuck the note on it. I quickly put on my shoes and ran the few meters over to put it in front of his door. Then I went back inside and threw myself on the sofa in frustration. Some things shouldn't be. At 10pm I went to my curtains as usual, but for the first time in 3 years, his curtains were closed.

The next morning I walked to my mailbox, but this time I saw no Taehyung.

I glanced at his front door. The casserole was definitely no longer there. But between my letters I found a small piece of paper. "The casserole was great, but not necessary! Thank you (^ o ^)" He did not go into the matter with his girlfriend, which is not surprising.

With a sigh I packed the remaining letters and ran back into the house.

The weeks passed and tests were pending. I hardly left my house, tried to focus as best I could. But Taehyung always managed to sneak into my thoughts and I tugged my hair I should have noticed earlier that I wanted more. Already at the first meeting I noticed that there was something. But he had a girlfriend. Then I had a boyfriend. The university also consumed a lot of time and now he seemed to be taken again.

He lives next door and is still so far away.

Another few weeks passed and Taehyung didn't come to the window regularly at 10pm. Maybe once or twice a week I saw him grinning at me through the window.

I always smiled back in a friendly way, but I was sad inside. I should just get over it and be happy myself again. After all, I had separated from Jimin over half a year ago. The university had planned a big prom after the exams and I tried to be happy and not to think that Taehyung would probably bring his new girlfriend there.

I got some invitations for this evening, but I didn't really feel like any of them. Everyone was really nice, but that's just not enough. Nevertheless, I accepted Haesung's invitation and he picked me up at 8pm. He drove us to the location and even looked really good in a suit.

We talked casually and entered the room.

The large hall was dipped in a soft blue and the furnishings matched perfectly. My dress was also color-coordinated, because the motto had already been announced. "Would you like a drink?" my date for this eveing asked, but I didn't feel like alcohol today. "No thanks." He got some of the alcohol-free punch for both of us, because he still had to drive. We talked and drank until my eyes fell on the door that someone was opening.

His suit looked great and my face immediately turned a light red.

To my surprise he was alone, without any company. His eyes roamed the room as if he was looking for something and finally met mine. We just looked at each other until he started eyeing me and my dress and smiled shyly. I blushed but smiled back. His smile was really heartwarming and it made my stomach tingle again. He looked over at Haesung and his eyes changed from shy to worried. What was going through his mind?

"y/n? Are you listening at all?"

Haesung pulled me out of my thoughts and I looked at him. "I'm sorry, I just noticed my neighbor." Haesung nodded and we continued the conversation.

My eyes fell briefly on the door again, but Taehyung was no longer to be seen. Well understandable, who liked standing in the door frame all night. The evening was calm and relaxed, I was still looking for Tae but couldn't find him anywhere. Time passed and slowly I wanted to go back home. Nothing kept me here.

"Haesung, I'm pretty tired. Would you mind if we left now?" I asked with puppy eyes.

You could see the disappointment, but he nodded and we walked back to the car. I searched for Taehyung one last time, but I still couldn't find him. Maybe he was home already?

The journey was quiet, there was silence between us but that was fine with me. I didn't really feel like talking to him anymore.

He walked me to the door and I tried to say goodbye, but Haesung supported himself on my front door with his hand and narrowed me down. "Can't I get a good night kiss?" He said, and I got a bad feeling about it. "Haesung please go now," I tried to say in a strong voice. He frowned. "But babe, we haven't gotten to the fun part yet." - "Haesung it is enough, I don't want that." I said with tremor in my voice this time and clenched my hands into fists to calm down. "Oh come on, I can still convince you. You will have fun."

Haesung moved closer and I was getting ready for the worst, but just before his face was close enough to mine, he was pulled back by the shoulder and stumbled a few steps back. "Fuck off Tae, this has nothing to do with you." Haesung said, visibly pissed off and tried to get out of his grip, but Taehyung gripped harder and harder. "No means no haesung and if you don't leave now and stay away from y/n in the future, you and I will have a problem." Taehyung said coldly and pierced Haesung with a look of death.

"Alright alright, I'm leaving," he muttered and went to his car.

Relief spread through me and I leaned against the door with a sigh. "Thanks Tae, it would have turned out badly without you." - "Nothing to thank me for. I was worried when I saw him with you, he has always been a guy who knows no boundaries. That's why I kept an eye on you and that didn't seem to be a mistake. Besides, you didn't seem really interested in him?", the last one came out half as a question and he cocked his head slightly.

"I thought he was nice and I didn't want to go to prom alone." I answered honestly and shrugged. "I would have invited you.” Taehyung murmured, looking at everything but me, hoping I didn't hear it. I did however. "I thought you were going with your girlfriend." I said, and Taehyung raised an eyebrow. "Exactly, I wanted to talk to you about that too. I have no girlfriend, where does that idea come from?" I thought back to the day I cooked for us and then saw him in the room with this woman. How he kissed her and pushed her towards the bed. My stomach turned. "I saw you in your room with a woman, and judging by what you were about to do, it looked very intimate." I replied embarrassed, playing with my fingers.

Taehyung thought for a moment, but then widened his eyes and blushed.

"I-I ... that wasn't my girlfriend. I just got to know her back then and … ah doesn't matter, it was a huge mistake. So you thought she was my girlfriend ever since?" He threw his head back and sighed heavily. "Don’t worry about it! You are grown up and can do whatever you want." I tried to calm him down, but he just shook his head. "You're right about that, but that was never what I wanted. No matter it's late, you should go to sleep. By the way, you look really gorgeous in this dress. Good night." he said and disappeared.

I unlocked my front door and warm air flowed towards me. I ran upstairs and saw Tae lying on his bed and running his hand through his hair while looking frustrated. I ran to my closet and dug out a long top because I didn't like to sleep in pants, and went to the bathroom to change. I could have just closed my curtains, but I didn't want to lose the chance to see Tae's face again. Who knew when the next time would be. I took off my make-up and changed my clothes. When I ran back to my room Taehyung was still there, but now he was sitting and resting his head on his knees with his hands. He probably hadn't noticed that I could see him yet.

For a few minutes I watched him go through his hair, check his cell phone briefly and throw himself back on the bed in frustration again. Then I decided to offer him his privacy and pulled my curtains shut. Another few weeks passed and our evening ritual was revived. We met and went jogging again often, sometimes we even ate together at the university. Finally it seemed to be going uphill. But fate was simply not on our side. I noticed that there has been an unusual amount of noise coming from his house lately and his bedroom looked emptier than usual. What was he up to? Renovation work? I didn't get to ask him, because the next day he was already at my door and handed me a small piece of paper. "I'm going to do a few semesters abroad. I can't be here anymore, but that's my number, if you need something or want to talk, just contact me.", He was still there until I finished saving his number but after that he wanted to turn back and go immediately.

No no no! I couldn't let something separate us again!

He was still walking along the path of my property when his cell phone rang.

He got it out of his pocket and took the call.

"Hello?"

"You said I should call when I need something. Don't go away, I need you." I spoke bravely into my cell phone, my hand trembled and I was ready to get the brush-off. A tear rolled down my cheek but I just ignored it. Taehyung continued to stand with his back in my direction for a few seconds, which felt like hours, but then finally turned to me and waöked towards me with huge steps. "I've been waiting for so long," he said before taking my face in his hands and meld our lips. I sighed contentedly and put my arms around his neck, pulling him further down towards me. He pushed me into the house and kicked the door shut. His hands moved from my face to my hip, where he pulled me closer and I moaned in surprise.

I buried my fingers in his long hair and scratched his neck. In response, he gave a low grumble and pushed me against the wall. "I've wanted to do this ever since I met you," he whispered against my lips as we briefly separated from each other due to lack of air. His eyes shone and I lost myself in them. He grabbed my butt and I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist. Again he pushed me against the wall and rubbed against me as he spread a thousand kisses on my neck. I cocked my head and took a deep breath when he touched a sensitive area with his soft lips.

"Found it.", He murmured contentedly and started sucking on it. I moaned softly and clawed into his back. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again, to memorize his taste. I grabbed his face and turned it back to me, didn't hesitate for a second and reunited our mouths. Taehyung pushed me a little more against the wall and grabbed my butt a bit harder.

He bit my lip lightly and I slightly opened my mouth when I moaned, which he immediately took advantage of and also united our tongues. It was a struggle for dominance that I would clearly lose. Slowly I felt something hard between my legs and gasped in surprise.

"Sorry, if that's too quick for you, we can stop too...", Taehyung said out of breath, still very close to my face. His breath tickled warmly on my swollen lips and I didn't even think about ending this. In response, I pulled him closer to me again and pulled his shirt up a bit on his back. Taehyung grinned and we pulled away from the wall so he could carry me upstairs.

In the meantime, I worked on his neck and left my love bites everywhere. 

When we arrived in my bedroom, he threw me on the bed and immediately leaned over me to focus on my neck again. "I’m so damn attracted to you. I crave you." he growled in his deep voice against my skin as his hands slowly moved under my top and explored my body. He quickly pulled it over my head and looked at me for a while. "Taehyung what are you doing?" - "I'm trying to catch every detail of you." he answered, leaning back down to me. His lips wandered down my neck to my cleavage and opened my bra with his hands. It felt like his hands and lips were everywhere at the same time, my skin burned hot in the places he touched. The comfortable tingle in my abdomen became stronger and I gasped when Tae had reached my pants. 

As he continued to spread gentle kisses on my stomach, he opened my pants and threw them carelessly across the room. I pulled his shirt over his head and threw it down to my pants. He took my panties off with his teeth and licked his lips while he examined my now completely exposed body. It was uncomfortable to show myself so naked, but his lustful gaze on me felt good. He climbed up to me again and we kissed passionately as he ran his fingertips over my body. I reached for his belt, which I had successfully opened after some fiddling, and tried to open the button. 

But unexpectedly, Taehyung let his fingers disappear between my legs and I groaned loudly. He grinned into our kiss and playfully bit my lip. "Taehyung-ah, I can't concentrate like this..." I tried to make no noise while still trying to open his button. He let go of me briefly to take off his pants himself and I stared at the bulge that could no longer be overlooked. Again he kissed my body until he got between my legs and gently sucked marks on my thighs. "You don't have to concentrate on anything, baby. Just let yourself fall." he said seductively, his lips touching my clit lightly and driving me crazy.

Shortly afterwards, a pleasant sensation ran through my whole body and I moaned loudly when I could feel Taehyungs tongue. "Tae-Taehyung..." was the only thing that could leave my mouth, my hips started moving by themselves and I closed my eyes. The fact that I moaned his name only made him move his tongue faster and harder while he began to use his fingers. He pushed two inside of me, no time to adjust but I didn’t need it anyway. I clawed my hand in the sheet and buried the other in his hair, which exerted slight pressure on his head. Just when I was almost at the limit to cum, he stopped and I looked down at him in surprise. I whined at the loss of contact when he removed his fingers.

"I want to come with you, baby." he gave me as an explanation and I quickly nodded. There was nothing I wanted more than to feel him inside of me. I’ve waited for this for so long that I was almost nervous.He stripped off his boxer shorts and leaned over me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and looked deep into his brown eyes, which I fell in love with at first sight. "Taehyung, I love you," I said, smiling, and Tae's look looked surprised.

"I love you too, (y/n). Finally you're mine.", he answered lovingly while entering me slowly.

I moaned deeply when I felt his length inside of me. This time I needed a few seconds to adjust, but Taehyung was patient and kissed my neck while he waited for my okay to move. I still felt like I could cum any minute, him stretching me out and his soft lips on my neck while his hands stroked my body drove me crazy. As he started to suck on my nipples I got impatient and whined. “Please move. I want to feel it.”

Taehyung groaned in response and moved his hips back and forth, his eyes not leaving mine. “I love how you look right now. God you’re so beautiful.”, he whispered to me and I blushed, not able to give him an answer, the pleasure too much for my brain to form words.

My fingers were buried in his hair as I moved my hips in sync with his. We both moaned louder when he started to thrust a bit harder, revealing how needy he really was. “T-Taehyung it feels so good I’m close.”, I whimpered, now scratching his neck and gaining a low groan in response. “I can feel it gorgeous, you’re clenching around me. It feels amazing.”, he answered and bit my neck softly. “Cum with me.”

His words sent me over the edge, the pleasure running through my veins as I moaned loudly. Shortly after I could feel that Taehyung was close as well, only a few thrusts away from filling me. I touched his body and marked his neck where I discovered he liked it the most and helped him cumming as well. “God you’re incredible.”, was the first thing he said after pulling me close into his arms. I chuckled and kissed his chest. “I’ve never felt like this.” 

“Me neither.”, I whispered and looked up to him. “Are you really going to stay here with me?” 

Taehyung nodded fastly and kissed my forehead. “I won’t let anything or anyone come between us. We wasted way too much time the past years and I think we need to catch up on that.” I nodded and sighed in relief. Taehyung wouldn’t leave me. We finally found each other and wouldn’t let go again. “I love you.”, he said lovingly and I smiled. “I love you too, from the very first moment I did and I’ll never stop.” 

[artsyxloner]

Not Just a Monster

Warning: blood,Voices, violence

4: Green Roof Apartments

It was dark by the time I had gotten to the green roof apartment building. I was coming up near the font where it looked like they were doing construction work? but Spotted something laying on the ground.

Its limbs were all Sprawled out getting closer making sure it was dead before I went in.  Half of its head was chopped Capitated it had looked-like its face was beaten in my something big?

Its teeth were all yellow and dirty as its skin was a sickly bluish-gray. But one of its ears stood out the most. It was enlarged, I was sure to remember this and put it in my field journal.

I was about to check the front out when I heard the monster utter some words. " I can't see?!" It spoke my eyes went wide as I turned to look at it.

My feet Accidentally hit some gravel making the smallest noise. Its enlarged ear started to twitch. " I can hear you!!" I mumbled its fingers moved when all of a sudden they shot out spikes. Until it hit the concrete building wall making a crashing sound.

I jumped out of the way before it could hit me. I rolled on to the payment as another shot of spikes came. Laying on my stomach it was either fight or flight since I didn't have a weapon I chose to leave knowing I could get killed.

The only reason I didn't before was because of the golden If you didn't know already. Getting up I ran away, not able to fight well I wasn't a good fighter as you have seen before but I was extremely lucky.

Going in behind the building there  I checked for a possible way in. As I moved stuff out of my way I found a door hidden behind a white tarp. Moving it out of the way there was a sound of a huge thud making the group shake.

I wobbled a little bit trying to steady back my balance. Knowing I shouldn't have looked back but my Curiosity got the best of me. I nearly fainted seeing a monster about the size of Wait no it was the size of the hulk.

It kept saying " Protein" that's when I knew that was one of the monsters that ate people. Grabbing ahold of the door handle I twisted it opened running in quickly I shut and locked the door behind me.

I signed out a heavy breath feeling sweat run down my forehead and back. If this place has these kinds of monsters there's no telling what is in this building.

I should have known, there can't be a place without some type of these things living in it some more than others. Inside the back building was dark and it gave me the creeps.

Lights flickered on and off creaking sounds coming from the old busted pipes and the floor was kinda wet with water they made have had a water leakage somewhere.

I made my way down the hallway as my footsteps splashed the little amount of water. It Echoed making the place give me goosebumps my arms my whole body shook.

I needed some sleep because I have been through a lot today my body was sore even though I healed. Checking every door it was locked until I came to the end of the last door.

Opening it Carefully as the Hinges made a squeaking sound I cringed hoping nothing heard that I was surprised to see a closet. It was those that had a little cot where the people slept on if they need to borrow one.

I smiled, it even had a pillow. Slipping off my duffel back after a while of carrying it I felt relieved hearing my bones and muscles stretch and pop. I flopped down my side hitting the comfy cot.

My breathing slowed as my eyes began to feel heavy they flutter for a few seconds before closing that's when I knew I was going to have some fucked dreams tonight from the things I saw.

...

There was nothing but loud screaming everywhere I went. Everybody was running away as they knocked each other over them jumping over seats and them hiding behind stuff.

I was confused at why they were doing this? What was wrong I didn't see anything out of the ordinary?

At the time I wasn't aware they were all running from me. I didn't have any control over my body just only inside my head, I could think.

I mean I could feel my body moving but and something wet was gushing from my nose. I was confused about what was happening? It was just a nosebleed wasn't it? that's normal.

That's when I looked in the window and was horrified at what I saw my reflection was smiling back at me with pitch-black eyes and blood was all over the bottom of my mouth dripping down to my neck.

That's when it began.

I sat up breathing hard, remembering the horrific image of myself. I quickly pick up my duffel bag and unzipped it bringing out my opened water bottle pouring some in my hands I splashed my face with some to cool me down.

I wiped my eyes rubbing them until I couldn't see it anymore until I saw stars. Signing I ran my fingers through my frizzy, red hair, I've had this dream since the night they were killed and it's like the inner monsters inside me want to keep reminding me.

I'm starting to hate it, next time I see it I'm going to tell it to fuck off! Getting up I drank my water and took out some Oreo pocky Munching on them Quietly.

I know all this junk wasn't good for me but it was the only thing I had. As I did I felt my nose dripping wet, making me Drop my pocky stick.

" shit!!" I grabbed the ends of my sleeve trying to soak up the blood that was constantly flowing. " Now! Now! that's what you get when you say you were going to tell me to what's the word... fuck off?"

I almost choked on my food hearing its damn voice. " it's too bad I didn't get to talk to you when you fell." I covered my ears not listening to the inner monster inside me wanting to come out.

I stayed silent not listening. " fine ignore me, but when the time comes you'll need me." I still stayed quiet " It wasn't my fault it was yours why would I need your help!?" I fussed getting down on my knees.

" When the time is right Soo-Nico." This made me scoffed no more like a laugh like a crazy person. If someone saw me from their point of view they would think I am.

Then the voice left like it was never there. My fist clenched as I started to bang on the floor. " I'll never need you!" I whispered as tears beamed my eyes.

I cried quietly for a few minutes leaning my back on the edge of the cot. Then I heard the sound of instrumental music coming from the speakers go off. Seconds later there was a young man's voice.

I nearly jumped out of my skin, " uh, uh," it went Static " Survivors, the first floor is safe now."

" come to the first floor. We'll be safer together." The guy paused then spoke up. " We survivors must stick together. Please come down. Come down here now."

" –I said please come down..." the man's voice went static again followed by a long Frequency that hurt my eardrums. I couldn't think for a moment there were people here? There were survivors.

I wasn't alone, I hurried I get up but stopped a thought coming to mind. What if he was trying to trick someone like me to get me to come and then take my stuff and keep it for himself? He just is saying it's safe and lies.

But for some reason I knew he wasn't lying, it sounded like he was calling for someone to come down that was being stubborn. If they were stuck up there? I only had two choices to go or not.

I decided to go I needed some social interaction if there were people there? but I would be wary and careful of them.

I wasn't going to trust them that was for sure just stick around long enough to see what type of people they are.

Getting up I grabbed my bag slinging over my shoulder carefully opening the door it was still the same as last night the same creepy eerie feeling I didn't notice before but there were cobwebs.

With dead bugs and flies in them ready to be eaten. My face crinkled up, feeling bad for them I knew how they felt now, Well in some way.

I moved down the hallway going to the entrance that's probably where they are at. I stopped every few seconds hearing strange Noise this was the first floor He said it was clear right?

Maybe he was saying one part of it was clear and blocked off. That means there could be monsters Roaming free around this section of the first floor.

I felt fear creep inside my chest and up my throat. Seeing the monsters I saw last night, there could be some-more like that or worse.

My arms got goosebumps, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand. It was like I was trying to freak myself out. I just wanted to turn back and hid in that closet and never come out.

It was promising but I knew being a wimp wouldn't solve anything. So I forced myself to go on my feet talking a right at the end of the blinking light that hung down from the Ceiling.

I passed a bathroom door that said out of order, Ignoring it I passed on seeing the walls that had wallpaper were all ripped up with mold spoiling over them.

Toys and clothes were all sprawled out all over the floor I bent down to pick up a shirt but dropped it when I heard screaming and crying.

My eyes turned to where the sound was coming from them landing on a pair of double doors. I ran towards them stepping on my tip-toes to look through the small glass window to see what was happening?

There was a group of people holding back a woman that was most likely in her late forties. With the front entrance open they all looked terrified.

[bigoltrashpile]

I've heard a bit about a sub Noir.. Could we have some?

Of course!!  I’m gonna do this with a gender neutral reader pegging him, because he needs to be put in his place! >:3c

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” you asked.  You know that you had asked this same question way too many times, but still, it couldn’t hurt.

Noir rolled his eyes.  “YES, OF COURSE.  I SAID THAT I WANTED THIS, AND I MEAN IT.”

“I know, I know,” you said quickly.  “It’s just that this is kind of out of your comfort zone, I wanted to check.”

“I APPRECIATE IT,” Noir sighed.  “TRULY, I DO.  BUT TWENTY SEVEN TIMES IN THE LAST HOUR IS A LITTLE EXCESSIVE.”

You flushed.  “You were keeping count?”

“OF COURSE!  THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE NOIR IS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!  WHICH IS WHY WE’RE DOING THIS,” he reminded you.

Right.  He wanted to prove that he could do anything you asked of him, and that included being submissive.  So the two of you had planned this night.  The night where you would take the reins for once.

The two of you were in your “dungeon” also known as the spare bedroom.  You were both sat on the bed, Noir in just his pants, but you were fully clothed.  “Okay, but you know we don’t have to do the whole bondage thing, right?  We can just...have normal, vanilla sex.”

“SHUSH.  I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE,” he said quickly.  “PLUS, IF I’M NOT TIED UP, I WILL EASILY OVERPOWER YOU.”  You laughed a little, but didn’t try to argue any more.  Instead, you just reached for his pants, tugging them down.

He allowed you to.  He just gave you a deep kiss, teeth nipping your lips.  You tilted your head, relishing in the familiar sensation.  Suddenly, you remembered you were supposed to be the dominant one, and abruptly shoved him backwards.

Noir landed on the bed with a shocked “NYEH?”  You giggled and loomed over him, like he always did to you.  “Aw, you’re so precious,” you cooed.  “Now, are you going to be a good boy and let me tie you up?”

He opened his mouth, probably to say something sassy, but quickly closed it.  He nodded stiffly and you smiled.  “Good boy~”  You gave him a quick kiss before pulling back, grabbing the soft ropes you had set aside.  They were red silk, and you knew they would look gorgeous against his bones.  

You held the rope up questioningly, and Noir held his wrists out for you.  You smiled and gave him a kiss as a reward, before gently tying his wrists together.  

“YOU KNOW YOU CAN MAKE THEM A LITTLE TIGHTER.  I DON’T EXACTLY HAVE ANY BLOOD TO CIRCULATE,” he pointed out.

“Well, I want this to be nice,” you explained.  “I’m going to be nice and gentle.”

He flushed, but let you continue to tie him up.  You tied his wrists to the headboard, before kissing your way down his body and doing the same to each ankle.  The whole time, Noir stayed surprisingly silent, letting you do what you wanted.

When he was tied up all nice and pretty, you pulled back and looked over your work.  “Stars, you look gorgeous,” you sighed.  “You’re so handsome~  I’m so lucky!”

A slight red blush appeared on his face, the same shade as the ropes.  You really wanted to take a picture, but he didn’t want any evidence, so sadly, you couldn’t.  “Remember the safeword?”

“HOW COULD I FORGET?  IT’S TROMBONE.”

“Good job,” you complimented.  “Now, can you make a nice pretty pussy for me?”

His face lit up even more, but he obeyed.  He summoned a vagina in place of his usual cock, already wet.  Stars, he was so handsome.

You knelt between his legs.  “You’re such a good boy,” you hummed, looking up at him with loving eyes.  “I love you so much.”  You stuck your tongue out and licked up his sex, spending extra time on the clit.  He grunted and jerked against his bonds, but they held firm.

You grinned and held his hips down before really going to town.  He tasted just like he did when he had a cock, but this time, you were in control.  And damn, did it feel good!

You kept going, finding where he was most sensitive just to tease those places.  When he was on the brink of orgasm, you pulled away, much to Noir’s disdain.

“WHAT THE HELL?” he snapped.  “I WAS SO CLOSE!”

“Consider it revenge for all the times you’ve edged me to tears,” you smirked.  “I’m being nice.”

With that, you grabbed what you considered the main event.  A strap on.  It was thick and purple, one that the two of you had picked out together.  You couldn’t wait to try it on him!

You quickly pulled the harness on, Noir watching you with rapt fascination.  It felt good to have him watching you with eagerness and slight fear in his eyes.  You could get used to this~

You knelt over him again, your strap poised at his entrance.  You moved it up and down a few times over his slit, driving him crazy.

Noir growled, obviously impatient.  “FOR FUCK’S SAKE, JUST PUT IT IN!” he shouted.

You raised an eyebrow and pulled away, stopping all stimulation.  “Do you make the orders around here?” you asked.

He looked away, clenching his teeth.  “NO...”

“That’s right.  I do.  I’ll fuck you when I’m good and ready, not a minute sooner.”  You returned to his entrance, and continued the up and down motion.  This time, he remained silent.

When you felt like he was desperate enough, you finally put the tip in.  Noir gasped at the feeling, and bucked his hips a little.  You let him, but raised your eyebrow so that he would know that he did something wrong.  When he finally held still, you began to push into him, nice and slow.

Noir whined and thrashed in his bonds, much to your amusement.  You had never heard these sounds come from him, he sounded amazing!  When you hilted inside, you paused to give him time to adjust.

Noir panted.  “FUCK...THIS IS...THIS IS REALLY SOMETHING,” he chuckled weakly.  “STARS, I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO FEEL THIS GOOD!”

You giggled.  “Why do you think I’m always so desperate for you?”

“TOUCHE.  NOW, ARE YOU GOING TO  MOVE, OR ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME BEG?”

You pretended to think.  “You know, making you beg is tempting...but I think I’d rather hear how you sound when I fuck you into the mattress~”

Before your loud-mouthed boyfriend could respond, you started up a fast pace, slamming in and out of him like your life depended on it.  Noir threw his head back, mouth opening in an “O” shape.  You were pretty sure his eyes had turned to hearts as well, but you couldn’t tell, since they had rolled into the back of his head.

You smirked.  Even though you weren’t getting any direct pleasure from this, seeing Noir like this was all you could have hoped for.  You laughed.  “Do you like that?  Huh?  Do you like when I wreck you with my cock?”

Noir shuddered and gasped.  “Y-YES!  FUCK, YOU FEEL SO GOOD, Y/N!  I N-NEVER THOUGHT-” he was cut off when you tilted his hips up to get at an even better angle.

You were so glad you decided to tie Noir’s hands to the bedpost, because if he covered his face, you would be so sad.  He was moaning like a whore, tongue lolling out of his mouth, an utterly blissed out expression on his face.  You really had to do this more often!

Apparently, you had hit a really good place inside him, because Noir’s moans became even louder, back arching like a bowstring.  “FUCK!  YES!  RIGHT THERE, PLEASE!” he begged.

You repeated the motion, and his moans increased in volume.  You decided to pull out all the stops, and moved one hand from his hip bone to his clit, and the other to his ribs.  You rubbed both in time with your thrusts, adding even more stimulation.

It only took a few strokes for Noir to come undone, screaming.  Just when you thought he couldn’t get any louder.  He bucked his hips desperately into yours, screaming your name.  You felt some liquid spurt onto your thighs, and you realized faintly that he had just squirted.

You gently fucked him through it, and although you really wanted to keep going and overstimulate him, you decided to be merciful.  For now anyway.  You pulled out of him and tossed the fake cock off.  “How was that, babe?” you asked, a little out of breath.

Noir’s tongue was still hanging out of his mouth in bliss.  “That Was...Amazing,” he whispered weakly.

You gave him a kiss.  “I’m glad!  Now, let’s get you out of these ropes.

To your surprise, Noir smirked at you and yanked his wrists away from the headboard, snapping the rope like it was little more than a small string.  He did the same with his ankles and rolled over in one motion, pinning you beneath him.

“Y-you, you could get out the whole time?” you asked, baffled.

“I MOST CERTAINLY COULD.  NOW, I BELIEVE IT’S YOUR TURN, LITTLE ONE~  I NEED TO PAY BACK EVERYTHING YOU GAVE ME, AFTER ALL~”

[gay-salt-amber]

The phone call

Here's some notices or warnings before reading!

A trans man giving birth, Seungchuchu, Trans Phichit, Haikyuu x Yuri on Ice.

Seung-gil pov-

I entered the rink, sat down my bag and took a sip out of my thermos of coffee, "Hi coach." I greeted, tired and already done with my coach for the day.

"Greetings Seung-gil, sit down we need to figure out your skating routine for the next competition."

I nodded at my coach and sat down. I sat there, listening to my coach's instructions.. Well I wasn't really listening, I couldn't bring myself to focus... Phichit, my husband, had been really sick recently. I knew that he knew why but he wouldn't tell me, while some secrets were fine, it just felt to serious to be kept a secret. But if he wants to keep that stuff to himself, then I have no wish to pry into his business.

My coach, Min-so Park, must have noticed. She gave me a light flick on the ear and raised her voice by a inch, "Pay attention." She said.

I had to restraint myself from saying something else other then sorry, "Sorry, stuff has been happening at home."

"Don't carry that onto the ice, Seung-gil."

"..Sorry.." I said, trying to sound like I was actually sorry which I wasn't.

"Alright, now how about we do this song?" She said pointing to a list of songs she had written down.

"Sure, when are we going to figure out outfits though?"

"Probably tomorrow, we need to make sure this song is good for you before we figure out costumes."

She put the list down and walked over to the music-playing setup, "Lets start practice, Seung-gil."

I nodded as I re-tied my skates and went onto the ice, ready for a tiring day of practice. I just hope Phichit is doing alright.. I'm worried, so fucking worried.

Phichit pov-

I flushed the toilet, washed the disgusting taste out of my mouth out and exited the bathroom, I took my time walking down the stairs, holding onto the handle for dear life even though my feet were fine. I still don't wanna fall. Eventually after what felt like a lifetime, I made it to the couch where I flopped and grabbed my phone. As I massaged my headache, I hit Yuuri's contact, his nickname in my phone being 'bestie' I let out a silent swear as a sting of pain came but I hit the 'call' button and sucked up the pain.

Thankfully he picked up, even though he is at practice

"Hey Phichit, did you need something?"

I let out a small fake sob, "I feel like shit.."

"Oh, is Seung-gil with you?"

"No, he wanted to stay home but his coach made him come in.."

I could tell the Japanese skater was rolling his eyes, "Have I told you how much I hate his coach?"

"Yep."

After snickering I went back to the original topic, "But I wanted to ask you what you think I've come down with. Its been a week! I have never been sick for more then 2 days and I am scared!"

Yuuri clicked his tongue, "Ok.. Tell me more, I think I have an idea.."

"Well, I have been puking a lot.."

"That happens when you're sick typically.." Now that I think about it, yeah I do puke a bunch when I rarely get sick.

"Yeah.. And you know how I hate pickles?"

"Yes?"

"I now wanna dip those in chocolate and have it for breakfast."

"Any body pain?"

"Well my stomach and hurt like a bitch and my back wants to break."

"...." Yuuri went silent.

"Uh, Yuuri? Bestie? What's wrong?"

"Don't think I'm weird for saying this alright?"

"We've been friends for like 19 years, nothing you say will make me weirded out."

"You never got a bottom surgery when you transitioned right?"

"No, I still wanted kids so I never got much done, you know, minus getting my breasts removed."

"So, I think you should go get a pregnancy test.."

My eyes went wide, "Wha?! Why?!"

"I just think that you have a lot of the symptoms that pregnant people have. I may be wrong but its better now then later, right?"

I went quiet before speaking again, "...What will Seung-gil think?"

Yuuri went out a little chuckle, "Well, if he's as good a husband as you say, he'll stay there and help you."

I chuckled along, "Yeah.. I'll talk to you later."

When I hit the end call button, I threw my phone to the other side of a coach. Upon hearing that, Seung-gil's Siberian Husky came running over and hopped on the couch to try and make me feel better by rubbing his head against my hand.

I smiled bright "Hi buddy.."

"You may be getting a human friend in a few months if Yuuri was right.." I chuckled.

This made the dogs head perk up, his tail started wagging and he went out a bork of excitement.

"I know! so exciting!" I gave him head scratches before walking to the door and grabbing my keys

I turned back to Snow, "Dads gonna go out for a bit, don't cause too much havoc while I'm gone, ok?"

After hearing another bark from the grey-white dog, I left the large apartment and started to walk down the hallway. Even when I was in the lobby and out the front door to my car, I couldn't stop opening and closing my husbands contact.. 'Save it until you actually know..' After taking a breath and by that I mean about 10 breathes, I put the keys in and drove to the store to get the test.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I unbuckled slowly and got my hat and my mask. I did everything slowly, I was just nervous.. I then thought of how lucky I would be to have a kid.. All the happy moments, seeing Seung-gil falling asleep with a baby atop his chest, and that babies adorable face.. With those ideas in my head I opened my car door and practically ran into the store.

Once I entered, I walked to the pharmacy section and after scanning the shelf like 4 times, my eyes finally landed on the pregnancy test, "Damn I must have been staring at it for like 2 minutes." I joked, I grabbed it and walked to the counter to pay, I walked back out to my car and went about 9 miles over the speed limit to get home.

Seung gil pov-

It was coming to be the middle of practice, which was when I was allowed a really quick water break before starting practice again.

"Ok Seung-gil! You can have a water break!" Coach shouted

I nodded and walked over to the bench, right when I was about to grab my water, I heard my phone ringing. When I checked the name.. It was my husband, Phichit.

"I told you to not have your phone out during practice!"

"My husbands really sick so I couldn't really NOT have it on or out." I retorted

"Just answer it."

I rolled my eyes and answered, "Hello?"

Phichit's voice on the other line was nervous, "Uh.. Hey Seung-gil.. Can you come home? Like right now?"

"Why? Are you ok?"

"We just need to talk."

"Now?" I repeated

"Yeah, sorry for interrupting your practice dear.." He sighed

"No, no! It's ok, I don't wanna be here anyway."

Phichit laughed which made my heart glow, "Alright, see you soon."

"See you soon." And with that I ended the call, grabbed my stuff and walked to the exit.

"SEUNG GIL LEE WHERE THE WORLD ARE YOU GOING?! YOU STILL HAVE PRACTICE!" My coach yelled from the rink,

My voice went back to being cold instead of sweet like when I was on the phone, "Home."

The brown haired woman started running in my direction, "Oh hell no!" But by the time she said that the door was open and I was walking to my car and quickly on the road.

--When he got home--

Once I opened the door I hear the muffled tv in the background, I kicked off my shoes at the door gave the dog some love and went to sit on the couch next to my husband.

"Welcome home.." The Thai's boy was quiet.

"So what did you wanna talk about dear? You never call me back from practice...."

"Uh.. You know how I said I was trans? How I was born a girl not a male?"

"Yes?"

Phichit stood up and walked in the direction of the bedroom, "Its best I show you, wait here.."

I nodded and waited. he came back a minute later, holding a something that looked familiar to me, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Once he sat down he handed the long stick to me,

"Guess what.. You're a dad.." His voice was nervous

I looked at the pregnancy test.

Then back to him.

"I get it if you are mad if I didn't tell you sooner that this could happen but, I have always wanted to start a family with you so, please, help me parent our child."

I couldn't even speak, I just wrapped my arms tightly around Phichit, "There is no universe where I would pass up to take care of a child with you." I breathed before continuing to speak, "I love you so much. We are going to have a happy family here, ok? I will do whatever I can to support our family."

When I finally looked up at my husband, tears were streaming down his face, I panicked, "Why are you crying?! Did I say something?!"

He laughed, wiping his small tears away, "No, you're just fine. I'm just.. happy."

I gave him a kiss on the forehead, "Are you hungry? I was thinking of ordering pizza."

"Can you get me pineapple pizza..?"

I let out a snort, "Sure."

--After ordering pizza--

Once we sat down, we happily ate, I smiled as I watched Phichit devour his pizza and his cute little face have pizza sauce get dotted on the cheeks and his chin. After he chewed he started to speak

"Hey I have a question about your coach."

I put down my pizza and looked at the cute boy, "What of her?"

"Well, I think you either need to talk to her, or get a new coach."

"I mean I would love to, but why?" I asked

"She never lets you have any holidays off or anything, no special days, no calling in before hand, no calling in sick, nothing! The only way you get out of practice is just walking out. I feel like when the kid is born, that wont be an option anymore."

I nodded my head, taking a bite from my pizza, "Yeah, you're right. I wanted to find a new coach anyway, I just needed a reason."

Phichit chuckled before gasping, "Hold on! I need to go call some people!"

I rubbed my forehead, giving a small smile, "Who are you calling?"

"Y'know, Guang-Hong, Leo and Yuuri! Imma tell them they're uncles now!"

"Alright! Don't take too long!"

A few minutes later I could hear excited gasps and congratulations coming from the kitchen

---A few months later--

Phichit pov-

I was on the phone panicking, Seung-gil couldn't be here, his coach wouldn't let him leave no matter how hard he tried so I was on the phone with Yuuri.

"Stay calm till I get there! I'll get you to the hospital Phichit."

"It fucking hurts!"

"I know just hold on!"

A few minutes later of trying to talk to keep the pain away, the door swung open with Yuuri behind it, he came over, helped me up and we got into the car.

"You're going to be a dad.. Mom? What do you wanna be called anyway?" Yuuri asked

"Whatever the child prefers."

"Do you know the gender yet?"

"No we decided to wait till he's born, which I guess is soon!" I was excited but also nervous.

"..Seung-gil will find a way to get to the hospital to see you, even if he has to jump out a window or something."

I snorted, "Victor did that didn't he?"

"I mean, yeah~"

We finally made it to the hospital and after circling the parking spot a few times, we got out and walked through the entrance.

"When I come out my life's gonna be so different.."

"Mhm! But that's a good thing!" Yuuri reminded me

"Yeah."

--About 15 minutes later--

Seung gil pov-

Once I finally got away from my coach by jumping out the window of the boys locker room and was able to maneuver my ass through the rush hour traffic, I arrived at the hospital. When I entered I instantly spotted Yuuri Katsuki, my husbands best friend and ran over to him.

"How is he?!"

"Thank god you're here."

I sat down and panted, "Yeah, my coach forced me to stay at practice, I had to crawl out through a window."

"Knew it."

"Anyway, is Phichit doing ok?"

Yuuri nodded, "Yes, they have him back there now."

"Can I not go in?"

"Ok."

I started tapping my foot from nervousness I didn't notice Yuuri get up but when I did he was holding coffee in his hand, "Here. They had a coffee cart over there, I figured you would want something to drink."

I took it from his hand, "Thanks."

"So what are you hoping for?"

"Heh, Phichit was hoping for a boy and I would be dead if I said a girl." I laughed

"Do you have a name in mind?"

"Not really, we know we want to change his last name so he can live a normal life though."

"Any ideas for that?"

"We'll figure it out. Phichit is a spur of the moment person, y'know?"

"Oh I know that too well." Yuuri took a sip of his drink before speaking again

"So, you remember when I was watching your dog at my house?"

"Yes?"

"Our dogs cuddled."

My mouth went wide, "Do you have photos?!"

"Yep!"

about 4 hours later-

"Family and friends of Phichit Lee may come in now." The doctor called

I looked at Yuuri, "You go by yourself first Seung-Gil he wants to see you more then me."

I got up and walked to the room and sat on a chair next to the hospital bed,

"Say hello to your son!" Phichit said, a smile from ear to ear on his face.

"He's adorable." I said, reaching out my pointer finger, which the little boy grabbed and held onto with his tiny hands.

"Mhm."

The child blinked a bit, "He has your eyes." I pointed out

"Just as cute too." Phichit added

"Mhm."

"So, what are we thinking for names?"

"Uhh.. I was actually thinking about it in the car."

"Oh? What did you come up with?

"I was thinking of naming him Sakusa Kiyoomi."

"That sounds good."

"Do you want to hold him?"

"Sure."

I reached my hands out and Phichit handed me my son, "I'm really a father.."

"Mhm. I love you so much."

"I love you too dear," He reached out and booped Sakusa nose

"And I love you too, Sakusa."

-16 years later-

Sakusa pov-

I was texting Atsumu, my boyfriend about practice and such.

----

'Tsumu: Hey sweet, adorable love of my life ♥♥! I have a question

Omi: Please use normal pet-names

'Tsumu: Nah

Omi: 😶😑Yes, dear?

'Tsumu: When am I gonna meet your parents? 🤔

Omi: You can come over after practice, if you want.

'Tsumu: Woah! 😲 Really?!

Omi: Sure, I don't care.

'Tsumu: Wait, aren't you at practice too?

Omi: Yeah we're taking a water break

'Tsumu: Well, I'll leave you alone! Love you! See you later tonight Omi-Omi! 😍😘💗💓

Omi: See you then, 'Tsumu <3

----

When I turned off my phone I didn't realize my cousin, Kimori, was standing right over me reading my texts.

"So, hows the married life?

"CHRIST!" I yelped

I regained my composure as the rest of the team looked over, "Great, how are you and that snake boy?" I was referring to Suguru Daishou, who was the captain of the Nohebi Academy volleyball team.

Kimori let out a gasp of betrayal, "Rude!"

"Right.."

The coach called us back onto the court, I stood up and ran back to the court with my team.

--After practice--

I sat there at the train stations coffee shop and sipped on a thing of tea while working on my laptop. I wanted to finish up school work before 'Tsumu got here, after all. While I was typing away on a writing assignment, my phone buzzed, it was one of my dads, Phichit Lee. I finished typing the paragraph, I placed a period, picked up my phone and went to answer the message.

---

Pops: Hey Kiddo👋, me and your dad will be late coming home from practice. Stop by the rink ⛸⛸ if you need anything! ♥♥

Kiyoomi: Will do. Also I will be having my boyfriend over.

Pops: Oh! 😲 Me and your dad can stay out later if you need us to😁

Kiyoomi: No, he wanted to meet you and dad.

Pops: We'll try to get home early in that case!

Kiyoomi: Alright good luck with that pair skate practice

Pops: We're gonna need it 😗

--

After about 15 minutes I looked out of the store and saw that Tsumu's train was pulling in, I got in and waited closer to the train for him. Once he got out I called out for him.

"'Tsumu!" I called

When I did that he ran full speed at me and wrapped his hands around my neck, with my hands wrapping around his waist.

He started placing kisses on my cheeks, "Its been so long!"

I laughed, "Its been a week."

"Same difference!"

I gave a final smile before I grabbed the fake blondes hand and led him to my car.

"So, I'm meeting your parents today?"

I nodded, "They may be late home, but yes."

We got into the car and kept talking about what was going to happen tonight,

"I'm so nervous, y'know?"

"Heh, you don't need to be, don't worry."

I then remembered something, "Also my uncle is dropping by so you'll get to meet them."

"Oo! Cool!"

I plugged my aux cord and handed the phone to 'Tsumu, "Its your turn for music this weekend dear, please don't play The Bee Movie sound track the whole way home."

"Awh! You're lucky I love you Omi!"

He put on Shinedowns new album Amaryllis, so I was happy.

"Nice song choice."

Tsumu rested my hand on top of mine which was already resting on his thigh.

"Do you want me to stop and get coffee or something? Or do you wanna head straight to my place?"

"Meh I had coffee earlier, we can head to your place."

"Oh you haven't been to my place before have you? It's always me visiting you."

"Yeah! That just makes me more excited!"

I smiled.

"Wait.. I NEED TO ASK FOR YOUR BABY PHOTOS!"

"NO!"

We finally pulled into the garage of the apartment complex and exited the car. When we entered the lobby Atsumu spoke up, "This is a really nice looking place."

"Yeah my folks make good money so we have a good sized apartment." I explained as we walked to the elevator

I hit the '8' button and waited till the doors re-opened, we exited as an elderly couple entered and walked to the apartment as the numbers went up across the doors, 801, 802, 803, 804... Finally we reached the apartment, with the silver plaque reading 810. I twisted the key and was instantly greeted by Snow and Makkachin. Makkachin was staying here just because Victor and Yuuri were in Russia and Makkachin was getting too old to travel, y'know, being 15 and all.

Atsumu instantly got down on his knees to give Snow head scratches, "Oh my god! You have dogs! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Snow is my parents and Makkachin," I said pointing to the dogs as I mentioned them, "Is just staying here till my uncle comes to get them today."

"They're so pretty!"

"Mhm."

Me and Atsumu took off our shoes, I went to the kitchen, filled up the dogs bowls, washed my hands and then crashed on the couch.

Once Atsumu noticed my presence he laid his head on my lap "Your place is nice, Omi-Omi."

"Thanks."

"..Can I change positions so we can both be comfy?" I asked

Atsumu nodded and sat up so I could lay down, Atsumu then laid onto my chest, listening to my breathing and heart beat.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

-10 minutes later-

After we laid there and watched tv for a bit, I heard a knock on the door, "That must be my uncle." Atsumu shot up, and followed me to the door.

When I opened it, I saw my uncle, Nikiforov-Katsuki Yuuri and his husband Victor standing to his left. Once they took a step in the door Makkachin came bolting towards them

"Makkachin! My baby!" Victor called out as he lifted Makkachin into his arms.

Atsumu stood in surprise for a minute while I talked to them. Does he know that they're famous figure skaters? No, I think his twin brother Osamu and his team captain Kita are into that stuff.

"So, before you go I want you to meet someone," I started, I gestured to my boyfriend as I spoke, "This is my boyfriend, Atsumu Miya."

Yuuri smiled and shook his hand, "Its a pleasure to meet you, Atsumu."

After Victor did the same they turned to leave before Atsumu spoke up, "Wait! Can I get your autographs? My captain and brother are big figure skating fans and they would kill me if I passed this up."

Victor and Yuuri laughed and nodded, "Sure! We'd love to!"

Victor and Yuuri signed the autograph to Osamu and wrote below it, "Your brothers cool!" and the one to Kita with "The best captain ever! Kita!"

"Thank you."

"Of course! Your family now after all!"

After we said our goodbyes, Yuuri and Victor left me and my boyfriend alone again. I looked at Atsumu, grabbed his hand and we walked back over to the couch to watch tv while Snow slept on her bed near us. Atsumu kept insisting that we watch Gilmore Girls until I finally gave in and we ended up binging to season 3.

"I'm telling you! Luke is the best!"

"Aand why do you think that?"

I shrugged, "Meh Lorelai is better."

"No!"

We kept bickering like children for a few minutes before I pulled my lover in for a kiss, that managed to shut him up. But his red face was too cute to not kiss over, and over, and over again. So that's exactly what I did.

"A kiss here." I said giving a kiss on his cheek, "And a kiss for the other side," "A kiss here," "And a kiss here,"

"Omiiiiiiii~"

I laughed, stopping my kissing spree after I kissed every spot on his face, "I love you."

"I love you more, baby dearest."

I smiled, "Just call me baby or dear. Baby dearest sounds weird."

"Awh but its cute!"

Snow barked as they awoke from their nap

"See? Even snow agrees that its cute!"

I looked over at Snow with a deadpan look, "Really? I know you like my boyfriend because he gave you belly rubs, but, really?"

--When Seung-gil and Phichit got home--

I was too focused on the snoring Atsumu on my chest to hear the clicking of the front door, the removal of shoes, or the hanging of keys. It was only when I was a flash off a camera did I know that my parents saw my boyfriend laying on my lap.

My dad started rapidly typing on his phone, "Seung-gil! Get in here! This is adorable!"

The black haired Korean walked into the room, "Phichit, lets let them relax and get dinner started ok?"

"OK!" After that, Seung-gil was walking to the kitchen and Phichit speed walking to keep up.

After a few more minutes Atsumu woke up from his nap with a yawn, "Hey Omi-kun."

"Good morning dear."

I started petting his head when spoke, "Did your parents come home?"

"Mhm."

"WAIT WHAT?!"

"Shh.. I just wanted you to sleep, its fine."

"..OK."

Then I heard a gasp from the kitchen

"SEUNG-GIL! SAKUSAS BOYFRIEND IS AWAKE!"

My dads had came peaking out from the corner 2 seconds later, "Atsumu, this is my dad."

The cheerful boy sat up and shook my dads hand, "Hi, I'm Atsumu Miya."

"Im Phichit Lee."

"Hold on im gonna go get your other dad." My dad said before leaving the room to go grab his husband.

"Wait... YOU HAVE TWO DADS AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME?!"

"You never asked."

"Humph." Atsumu huffed, turning his head.

"Oh come on.. Look at me dear."

"Nu!"

"I'll let you see baby pictures of me later." I offered.

"..."

I sighed and grabbed his hand, "We'll go get fatty tuna tomorrow with Kimori and his boyfriend."

Atsumu head perked up, "Yes! I love you!"

After that, my dad came in the room with my other dad, "My name is Seung-Gil Lee." He greeted before shaking Atsumu's hand.

After that we sat down at the dinner table, with me and Atsumu on one side and my parents on the other.

"So how long have you two been together?" Phichit asked

"Since our first year of Highschool." I answered

My dads smile grew, "Wait! Are we the first ones in the family to know?!"

"Nah, Uncle Leo and Guang-Hong know."

He gasped dramatically and put a hand on his chest, "My own squad betraying me like that, so tragic~"

"Also heres a question." Atsumu started

"Yes?"

"Whos your favorite character in Gilmore Girls?"

"Luke." Seung-Gil said

This caused my dad to look at him with bewilderment, "Am I just getting betrayed tonight?! Lorelai is SO much better!"

"Nope."

After we finished eating we went to the living room and chatted.

"So what happened at practice?"

"Oh I got a story," Seung-gil started, putting his cup down.

"So you know how me and your dad are skating on the same rink as the Russian team till our rink gets redone?"

"Yes?"

"So apparently Georgi is dating that one French skater."

"Which one?"

"Jean.. Douche? Y'know that Akaashi boys dad."

That comment made Atsumu nearly spit out his drink, Phichit's dark eyes went wide, "Are you ok?!"

"Yeah, my best friends just dating Akaashi so it was just surprising that he's part French."

"Wait, I thought Oikawa was your best friend?"

"I have multiple best friends, Omi."

"Anyway, so, I heard that Kimori got a boyfriend~"

"Phichit, dear, love of my life, please don't tell me your using your sisters kids life as blackmail."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Yeah he does." I answered

"Do you have photos?!"

"Dad, I wouldn't be your child if I didn't have blackmail."

I quickly pulled up a photo and showed it to my dads,

(Here's the photo, credit to the artist)

And with that my dad started gushing over the photo, "Awh! Thats so cute!"

"Speaking of cute, do you have Sakusa's baby photos?"

"Oh you bet I do!"

For the next half an hour they looked at baby photos.

Once Atsumu got ready to leave, he asked for a final thing, "Can I get your autographs? My captain and twin brother love figure skating and you two are some of their favorites."

They nodded and signed the papers, and with that, I gave Atsumu a kiss on the cheek and he left.

.

.

.

.

"Sooo whens the wedding?"

[thatnerdwolfnell]

I'm calling the apprentice here MJ which stands for Main Jcharacter. I wanted to give them something of a proper name and my autocorrect hates MC anyway. They aren't my apprentice they're just supposed to be a generic MC for people to insert their apprentice in for. They are entirely androgynous and completely non descript. I just got sick of typing MC and I refuse to put y/n into shit I write because it looks stupid and keeps fucking with my dyslexic ass.

**trigger warning: suicide**

Lies

For @wilddarkchocolate

Asra was different before he left. Nobody acts like themselves these days. Well, that's not really true. I just didn't know them well enough, I guess. Asra's a caring person, I know he is, he can just act so damn heartless sometimes. When the plague hit everything light and airy about just became streamlined and sharp, calculated. It triggered the part of him that was still living on the streets, that taught him to prioritize. to be kind and generous and give everything you have everytime you can but be ready to cut your losses, and grab what you can and get the hell out. When things go to shit he picks his battles, prioritizes his objectives, protects what he can and damn the rest if he can get his people out alive. I didn't think he'd leave me too though. There's nothing more important to him than the people he cares about. I thought there was nobody on earth more loyal than Asra, that there was no bridge he wouldn't cross and we'd fight everything together. Die together if we had to. Apparently I was wrong. I guess it was selfish to assume that of someone.

"This thing destroyed several villages in the south, we saw it leave Nopal in shambles, and now it's happening here!" He had said. "Remember when we saw them hauling cartfulls of bodies away in Nopal? People rotting away in the streets? In their homes? Remember when I said if that happens here we're getting out? It's been happening here for weeks now! We've done what we can but there's nothing we can do!"

I sighed. "Just stay a little longer, Julian's close to finding a cure and—"

"NO HE'S NOT!" he shouted. "HES COMPLETELY LOST! HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S DEALING WITH!"

He flung a jar of sage off the counter letting it shatter on the ground like he was brushing away a mosquito. Like he didn't care.

"ASRA!" He just shook his head and leaned against the wall. Resigned. His face was red. He was crying. "What the hell are you talking about? You've been working on this for months you know that's not true!"

"No. I haven't. Because I can't. All I know is that it's something of magical origin and that it's way out my league. It's more powerful than anything I've ever seen in my life –or even heard of, and Julian's barking up the completely wrong tree."

I had known it had some kind of dark magic attached to it, but so does death. So does lots of things. With the amount of tragedy this plague had caused it wasn't shocking that it had a dark energy around it. But what Asra had said...

"What is it like a curse or something?"

He shook his head again. "No. I don't know. When I was little my parents used to talk about God." He wouldn't look at me. "Then they disappeared. And on the docks... I don't know, I stopped taking it seriously." He shuddered "But this? If it's not the wrath of God I don't what else it could be. It's like somebody knocked a cosmic balance into shit and now its just... spilling."

My hands grew cold. "Is there any way we can balance it?"

He scoffed "Not unless you're a fucking arcana. Or ten."

"Why didn't you say any of this before?"

He slumped down against the wall and sighed. "Well what good would it have done, MJ? I can't just tell them 'hey nobody can do anything to save your children have fun dying!' now can I?"

"You could have at least told Julian! He's been killing himself trying to find a cure! He'll blame himself for-"

"He'd blame himself for the damn RAIN if he could, MJ. I already told him and he said all that meant was there no magical cure, but SCIENCE still had the answer."

I paused. "He's crazy."

Asra wiped his face on his sleeve. "I know." He stood up pulling his bag back over his shoulder. "That's why we need to leave. Now."

"Asra..."

That was all I said. Just his name. How could go with him when people were dying? For all he knew Julian could be right. And there was still something I wanted... I NEEDED to do. I just didn't have the heart to tell him.

That was almost a year ago. We fought more of course, but we didn't really say anything after that. If I'm honest I don't even remember. Just the anger and the magic sparking from the raw emotion in the room.

I am so fucking sick of this dungeon.

Julian's already here of course. I doubt he even left, I don't think he ever does. He's muttering, reading some paper he wrote.

"Samples?" I say as I pass his desk.

He shakes his head. Which means I need to collect them myself. That's not really an inconvenience, especially since I'm going down to the cells anyway.

I haven't felt anything in months, but when I see those people in cages like animals slamming their faces against the bars shrieking at their hallucinations I can at least remember one part of me that's still human. The part that knows that this is fundamentally wrong. And I thought maybe it could be worth it if we found a cure, but now... Now there's nothing left to justify this.

Believe it or not, these are vesuvia's richest, the "lucky" ones if you will. The ones who's families could afford access to "experimental treatments" rather than simply dying surrounded by living corpses in the lazaret. I know I'm going to die here. It's only a matter of time before I catch it and maybe if I can do this, my life will have been worth something. Today's the day I get the plague. I should feel something about that. I don't. Like I said, I haven't felt anything in a long time. Still it took forever to get the guts to do this though.

I take the syringe and walk up to the first cell. I barely even hear the screaming.

"Hi, Miss Walker?" The woman in the cell freezes. Guilt twinges in my gut. It's been a while since anybody has used her name –or even addressed her directly. I actually had to look up her name in the file just now. "I have to take a blood sample, is that okay?" It doesn't actually matter if it's okay or not I have to take it anyway.

"NOOOO!" she wails. "ALEX YOUR FACE! YOUR FACE THEY'RE ON YOUR FACE!" Her cries fade into fitful muttering that I can't make out.

"Okay ma'am, I'm coming in now."

She's huddled in a ball in the back corner of her cell. I grab her arm in the standard method that keeps her from moving away, but she doesn't even react. Which means she'll probably be dead by tonight. I tuck the sample vial in my bag and take off my mask. This part is not standard procedure.

"Hey, you're okay." I try to use the most soothing voice I can. I'm definitely not the ideal choice for comforting people, but nobody else will do it, and I can't watch another person die like this. Scared and alone. I pull off my gloves and gently rub her back. She flinches. Maybe this was a bad idea but it's definitely too late to go back. I'm probably already infected. "You're okay. Where does it hurt?"

"My Alex!" Her hand swats weakly at my face. It was probably supposed to be a loving gesture if she still had her strength.

"Sure. Fine. It's me, Alex" I have no clue who Alex is, I'm just trying to make dying a little nicer.

"You're all grown up, why are you grown? They were eating your face..." She breaks down into sobs.

"Hey, hey don't cry it's okay. Alex is fine, I'm fine." She throws herself into my arms sobbing and blubbering. I pull her close into a hug and I feel her start to calm down. "Yeah I'm fine, we're all fine. it's okay."

"I-I love you –I miss you so much i-" she shudders.

I hesitate. This is what I came here for. There's not much left of her and she needs comfort. "Um...I love you too... Here." I do a quick spell that should take away her pain for a while. She sighs and closes her eyes. "Alright

You get some rest now okay?" She doesn't respond she's already asleep.

I continue down the row of cells in much the same way. Blood sample. Mask off. Lie. "You're okay", "See? No more pain.", "I love you."

I drop off the samples before heading over to the lazaret to do the same there. I'm probably just being selfish. Just trying to feel like a good person. Like this MEANS anything. Maybe staying here at all was selfish. Maybe Asra was right and this was all a naive ego trip to make me feel better about myself. Maybe this is the only way I can justify killing myself. Or the only way I have the courage to do It. I'm being selfish.

I feel nausea twist in my gut as I land at the lazaret.

Looks like I'm not leaving.

It's for the best.

"Hi, I'm MJ.", "Its alright, you're okay.", "You want to see something cool?" "Go to sleep now." "I love you." "Yes your mommy is right here." , "I won't leave you.", "You're not going to die.", "You're safe.", "I love you."

The last thing I remember is a toddler, or maybe a corpse curled up in my lap. Humming softly. I'm holding a tiny hand. I don't quite have the strength to do the spell that will make it hurt less. Not that I deserve it. God it hurts. Where's Asra? What happened to him? The small hand drops. And everything fades to red.

[blueberryrock]

Hey guys, umm here is the twelfth chapter. I had answered an ask today and it made me remember to put this up, I'll hopefully put the rest up this week, but enjoy!

(Blue's pov)

This is taking forever.

I impatiently drum my fingers on my thighs, I've been sitting here in this very uncomfortable chair in the waiting room of the medical wing.

For some reason, it's been unusually packed with a bunch of different cracked gems. This is of course very, very, concerning, but I can't do anything about it until after my stupid appointment.

Which I apparently can't miss for the damn world! I groan and lean my head against the back of the chair. I glance over at an empty chair where Yellow would be.

She is once again off planet, this time, she took White with her to investigate what's or who's been cracking and almost shattering all these gems.

I asked her if I could come with her, cause most of the gems that have been badly damaged are from one of my old colonies and court. But she very quickly shut that down.

I highly suspect that it is the work of a somewhat large rebellion that's been going on, but if I try to talk to any of the cracked gems, they either have no memory of what happened or they just poof themselves over and over again from the sheer memory of what happened to them.

So the only information we've gotten is that it's been happening on one of my colonies. I nervously run my hand through my brushed, soft, hair.

I let out a soft gasp as one of the little gemlings kick me, I look down at my baby bump, I smirk as I lightly make circles on it with my nail.

"You're impatient too, aren't you" I coo "hopefully just a few more minutes, then I get to see your colors" I look up at the clock behind the little receptions desk "and I should ask the medical pearl if we can take any pictures..." I mutter to myself.

Finally, a few more minutes go by and the medical pearl calls me to a different room.

The new room has dark blue walls, grey tiled floors, and one big metal table and no waiting chairs, it also has the scanner, waiting to be used.

I carefully push myself onto the cold table and lie down, I groan as soon as my stiff back hits the table. The small green medical pearl climbs onto the table, I effortlessly phase away part of my dress so my baby belly can be scanned.

The small pearl tucks away a strand of her green hair behind her ear as she climbs onto me. She empties an entire bottle of freezing cold gel and tosses the bottle on the ground.

The little gem hops off of me and runs to grab the scanner. "Hey, umm I have a question" I softly shift on the table.

"Hmm?" The medical pearl replies as she tries to untangle the wire.

"Don't you need to angle the screen or something? So you know, I can see the gemlings?" I ask.

"What? Oh yes" the pearl's soft voice floats through the almost empty room. She grabs the side of the scanner and turns it towards me "is that better?"

I simply nod. The medical pearl finally untangles the scanner wires and climbs back onto me. She spreads the gel around with her hand before she uses the scanner.

I shiver from the still very cold gel, the screen part starts to make a noise so my eyes instantly snap towards the screen.

To my amazement, both gemlimgs are surprisingly large, since the screen is almost black and white, I can barely see a hint of color on both of them. The larger of the two is a very light shade of blue with a hint of green, and the smaller one is a dark shade of green with splotches of very light green.

I slightly frown when I look at the second gemling. She...she shouldn't be two different colors. Puzzled, I stare at the small pearl, looking for answers.

She shakily meets my eyes, "I-I'm sorry Blue Diamond, I've never seen this happen before" she tucks a few strands of her mossy green hair behind her ear "I'm going a-assuming that, when your two gemlimgs combined, their colors merged?"

"I'm not too sure, but congratulations, you still have fairly healthy gemlings, and you know what colors they are so planning their room shouldn't be a problem," and with that done, the small medical pearl quickly leaves the room before I can even get a word out.

I scoff, what an unprofessional pearl. I push myself up and immediately phase the rest of my dress on. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about her.

I gently and slowly slide off the metal table, once-off I immediately head for the door. I wrap the veil that I brought with me tightly around me. I waste no time walking to my room, not even bothering to say hello to anyone.

As soon as those big doors behind me close, I unwrap the dark blue veil and throw it on the carpet. I quickly summon a floating blue screen and I hurriedly send Yellow and White a message about the gemlings and what little the pearl said.

I smack my head with my hand, I completely forgot to ask the pearl is it is possible to send some pictures to Yellow and White. Oh well...

As soon as that's done, I lightly toss myself onto my very soft bed. I bury myself under the velvety blue sheets, I sigh and close my eyes.

"Next week will be somewhat exciting, cause next week Yellow will finally let us go off-planet alone!" I exclaim to no one but myself and the gemlings.

I trace large circles on my baby belly, they become smaller and slower as I unexpectedly fall asleep.

(The next week)

I let out a bored sigh as I scroll through what seems like endless reports, more than half of them are bull-shit excuses for "reports", telling me that I'm "sooo" lucky that I'm having gemlings. Usually, Blue Pearl and a few other gems help manage the reports that come flooding in, but a lot of congratulations still manage to pass through...

But nevertheless, I must read most of them, and I suspect that Blue Pearl and the other gems allow so many of the stupid "reports" as a means to cheer me up.  But I don't need a constant reminder that I have a due date (or a death date as I once called it).

"Pearl, Pyrobes," they boredly glance at me "You all are dismissed. Feel free to take the rotation off" I dismiss them, they nod and quietly leave me alone with my thoughts.

I glumly look out the window to my left, and for miles upon miles all I see are beautiful blue trees with gold leaves with blooming purple flowers.

I look back at my screen and ignore all the reports, I decide to pull up a very old report about this planet.

Planetoid name: Planet 2064 (aka The Oasis)

Location: Around one thousand light-years away from homeworld

Abandoned: Yes

Reason for abandonment (skip over if it was successful): no more materials, to many organics, and large mountains will randomly produce a green liquid that can melt anything

Water coverage: 22% water 78% land

Organics (skip over if none have been found): a lot of organic plants, and a lot of unintelligent flying organics that can breathe water

Diamond ownership: Blue Diamond

How many moons: Three, one with organic plants, and two are mainly just water

Most materials: Silicon, iron, copper, and other minerals. Used to be good for making lapis lazulis and possibly sapphires

Notes: My diamond, the peridots have said that we are running low on materials and the huge mountains that are scattered across the land are filled to the brim with a slimy green liquid that can melt anything, even gems! (But somehow the organics that walk or fly this planet seem to be immune to the liquid so, I and a few others have managed to capture a few to study). So, we have left this planet and await your orders.

-Calcite cut 9l3

I get a random urge to quickly dismiss the screen and get up from my throne, I slam my hand on the panel that opens the doors in front of me. I am greeted by three flights of stairs. I shuffle carefully down the stairs, trying not to slip on my good dress or anything else.

Once i'm on the ground floor I spot Pearl sitting in a chair sketching. "Pearl" I call her name, she slowly looks up at me "I'm going out for a short walk, message me if there are any real emergencies" she silently nods as I open the blue doors in front of me.

I haven't even taken a step outside and I'm already drenched in sweat from how humid the dense jungle is. I let out a slight groan as I put my long light blue hair into a ponytail.

I shift my dress to make it looser then before and I end it just below my knees. I finally start my walk into the muggy jungle, I cautiously make sure that I don't step on any little organics that might be around and so I don't trip on any of the roots of the blue trees.

I could very easily walk around the entire moon in about a few cycles, the moon itself is rather small but with it's very dense (but pretty) jungles, it'd probably take me about a rotation to actually do it. I continue to go deeper and deeper into the jungle, I stop when I come across a small river.

I carefully maneuver my way onto the river bed. The water is an unusually dark shade of blue with very reflective rocks at the bottom.

I stay there for a few minutes until a twig snaps behind me, I whip my head around to where the noise came from. I quickly scramble I onto my feet, my hand hovers over my gem, itching to summon my weapon.

A few seconds go by as anxiety seeps into me, this time the noise of some foliage being moved makes me quickly summon my weapon and turn my entire body towards the second noise.

"Hello?" I nervously call out. I get into a defensive position with my long, blue, scythe. This time it only has one deadly sharp watery blade, but at the end of the long handle is a short little knife.

No one answers, so I lower my defensive position but not my guard. The jungle gets eerily quiet, but the running water seems to be drowning out any other noises.

I slowly turn to face the creek, my nerves are still going crazy, screaming at me that I should run away or do something that isn't just standing there.

And then it all happens very quickly, the second my eyes move down to the small stream a gem lunges at me, but I easily slice it in half.

As soon as it poofs more gems come out of the surrounding trees and bushes. Most I recognize as old quartzes and agates that used to serve me and the other diamonds, they quickly surround me but I slice through a line of them. But more seem to pour out of the forest.

I sigh, as I know that this isn't going to go well for any of us.

"What do you want from me?"  I cry. Many of them pull out their weapons, most have swords or whips, while the ones in the far back have bows.

"Isn't it obvious?" A fairly large four-armed gem steps out from the crowd. She has three eyes, one black and two blue. Her long curly, black and baby blue, hair stops right at her waist.

On her chest is a gem that resembles a sapphire, but the colors are all wrong. Instead of the gorgeous blue it would probably be, it has stripes of black in it. And on her left forearm is another gen, but it resembles a black jasper with stripes of blue in it. And her outfit is a mixture of the old quartz uniforms with a blue diamond on it and a mixture of the sapphire's dress, giving them a short striped skirt.

"N-no. Not really" I try to mask my ever-growing fear.

"Well, then, allow me to explain" the Jasper and Sapphire fusion draws her own weapon, which probably hasn't changed besides the color. Out of the jasper's gem, they pull out a long spikey whip.

"Me and my, heh, friends here" she gestures to the other gems that surrounds me "have decided to riot, or better yet! We've decided to start our own little rebellion!"

"Although it's not very small" she adds as she scratches her chin.

I can feel sweat beads roll down my face, also my gut feels like it's about to send up my breakfast. I take a deep breath in, trying to calm my nerves, but the fusion seemed to notice.

She laughs an evil, wicked, and empty laugh. "Are you, the great, all-powerful, lustrous, Blue Diamond scared?" The fusion smirks "I hope you understand that I'm not going to hurt you" she pauses, then smiles again "well, let me backtrack on that, I'm not going to poof you"

I grip my scythe even tighter then before, waiting for someone to move. "You know I can slice through all of you, like cake" I grit through my teeth

"I'm not sure what cake is, but I seriously doubt that. You see, while you may be bigger then us and faster, I do have numbers on my side, and future vision."

"I know for a fact that the future is never set in stone" I growl.

She laughs again, "you may be right my dear, buuut, I do see many, many, many, possibilities where you come with us" she gives me an unnerving smile "most of them you are unconscious."

And it is at that moment where I snap and swing my sharp blade at her, but she ducks and the deadly blade only grazes her head.

"Attack" she grins evilly.

Almost all of the archers that surround me release their arrows, most of them whistle past me while a few get stuck in my hair.

The first of many waves of gems come rushing towards me, I slice through them with ease. But it isn't until the second wave of small arrows are released that I realize I'm possibly fucked.

Once again, most of the arrows manage to miss me, which I smirk at, but a few have actually managed to dig into my arms, neck, and back.

I let out a slight whimper as the gemlimgs painfully move inside me. But I stupidly work through the pain, cutting down more and more of the small fusion's forces.

I take a split second break to look at their face. But I frown as I see her smiling smugly like she has won the battle. Which, I fear she has.

I spend at least five more minutes, barely poofing any more of the fusion's soldiers. I, unfortunately, can feel myself losing energy quickly, my muscles start to burn, the pain in my belly is starting to flare up more, and I can see myself get more sluggish by the second.

As soon as I cut through the last of the archers, I hear the fusion curse to herself. I smirk as I quickly get the upper hand, I've definitely cut through more than three-fourths of her troops.

"You—don't need to—do this," I say between breaths.

"Yes, I do, you don't understand. I have a very flawless plan" she runs a stripped hand through her hair.

"Would you care to tell?" I ask.

She laughs a very, very, empty laugh "Ah, my diamond, you're very funny. I unfortunately have to say no to that request."

Out of nowhere, pain wracks through my entire system. I fall hard onto my knees and I painfully clutch onto my baby belly.

"Ah-ha!" The fusion points at me "Didn't I tell you! I knew she would be beaten" the fusion happily talks to herself.

She shakes away her joy and walks up to my face, "aaand, didn't Yellow Diamond warn you about the dangers of stressing yourself out too much?" The gem taunts.

"F-fuck—y-you" I barely say through the pain. Exhaustion seeps quietly into me, over masked by all the pain I feel.

"Don't worry you're pretty little head, I told you I'm not going to poof you. Although I would've liked to do that, but you're much, much more valuable to me in this state" the fusion uses two of her four arms to summon something.

The sound of an engine turning on catches my attention. My tired eyes slide upwards, and something very big and shiny appears in my line of sight.

"I-is that a ship?" I weakly ask "where did you get that?" I whisper the last part to myself.

"Good job! Ten points to you" the gem summons a large black bubble around us.

"Where—where are you taking me?" I tiredly ask.

"Hmm, a cell" the fusion chirps "if you'd like a more specific answer, far away...away from this place...in space!"

I close my eyes for a second and when I open them I'm in a large room, with no windows, and the only exit large a large electric wall that will definitely hurt if I touch it.

I move onto my stiff back, I stare up at the metal ceiling....This is going to be a longer journey than expected..

Dammit...

[the-fangirl-way]

5: Stitches

It had been about a week since Tristan had decided to stay with Devlin and I. He hadn't been much trouble, he helped cook and clean, he did laundry, it was actually sort of..nice.

But even through all of it, by the following Sunday when he was due to go back to work, meaning he'd have to go back home; I was secretly glad and tremendously relieved that there had been no sign of Harry since the night at the skating rink.

I was helping Tristan load his car, he had a few overnight bags and some odd and end things, mostly I was just out there to see him off.

The temperature outside had dropped brutally, it was down to sixteen degrees outside, the weather channel had been calling for snow any day now and I had stocked up on the essentials for a snow day.

I had been back to work Monday morning, reporting to Callahan about Harry's bail out, he was disappointed to say the least, having to call the DA and tell them that the trial was off until further notice, he had hight hopes that Harry would screw up again and land himself back behind bars; I wasn't so sure that he wasn't right.

Tristan shut the hatch on his vehicle and turned to me, flashing me a grin that I couldn't help but return. "It's too bad really, I enjoyed living with you for the past week." He said pulling me into him, kissing me on the forehead, I wrapped my arms around him, leaning into his body to get warmth, I was freezing.

"I know, I'll miss having someone to sleep next to at night." I teased and he nodded in agreeance.

"It's a lot nicer than cuddling a pillow I will agree." He said chuckling and I giggled and then sighed.

"Well, I guess I should get going, I have to unpack and do some laundry at my own house." He said rolling his eyes and I laughed.

"How about lunch tomorrow?" He offered then and I agreed.

"Let me know when you get home." I said and kissed him goodbye before he got in the car, I waved as he drove off.

I headed inside and Devlin was sitting on the couch messing around on her phone.

"Damn this game!" She said exasperated and I laughed.

"What are you playing?"

"Some bejewled game, I got bored, Tristan gone?" She asked turning her attention to me and I nodded plopping down on the couch beside her.

"Will you miss him?"

"Yeah, I will, but I'm glad to have our apartment back to us, having to share my bathroom was torture." I joked and she rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Better hope it doesn't get too serious or you'll be permenantly sharing a bathroom."

"It's not that serious yet." I said smirking and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah I know, you just now got to the sex part of your relationship, by this time five years from now you'll be engaged."

I smacked her on the arm and she laughed harder.

"I like Tristan though." She said seriously and I smiled.

"He's a good guy."

"He's good for you. He's just what you need." She said matteroffactly.

"Oh yeah? And how's that?"

"Well, he's smart, he's nice, he's attractive, and he's crazy about you."

I felt my cheeks heat up and I averted my eyes to the floor.

"Plus, he must be good in the sack as many times as I've heard you two this week."

I blushed even harder and she laughed harder. Just then we heard a knock at the door.

"I bet that's Tristan, he probably forgot something." I said getting up and heading towards the door.

I opened the door and on the other side, clutching his side, his white tee shirt torn and blood seeping through his fingertips stood Harry.

His eyes were wild and frantic, his hair was tousled and I didn't notice right away but he had a bruise forming on his cheek and his lip was swollen.

"Harry!? What the hell-"

"I've been stabbed." He said, his voice a lot calmer than his expression.

"Oh my God, we've got to take you to a hospital!" I said frantically and he shook his head.

"No, I'll be fine."

"Fine!? You've been stabbed!"

Devlin by this point had emerged from the living room, her eyes were wide and she was staring open mouthed at Harry.

"Why the hell is he here?!" She asked and I looked over at her.

"He's been stabbed!"

Her face changed from annoyed to serious.

"We have to take him to a hospital-"

"I already tried he said he didn't want to go." I said and she threw her arms up in the air.

"Tough shit! You've been stabbed, you have to go to the hospital it'll probably need stitches."

"I don't need to go to a hospital, do you have thread and a needle? Some rubbing alcohol would be good too and maybe some towels." He said, his voice gravely.

I turned to Devlin, she started to argue but decided against it when Harry coughed and more blood splurted through his fingers.

She disappeared into the kitchen and I helped Harry on to the couch.

"How the hell did this happen?" I asked and he started to speak but Devlin was back with the supplies he'd requested, handing him the alcohol first.

He lifted his shirt and I sucked in a breath, I had never been particularly queasy around blood but the wound itsself looked really bad.

It was about six inches across and was pouring blood like a spicket.

Harry carefully poured the alcohol on to the wound, sucking in a breath as he did so, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Son of a bitch that hurts!" He said through gritted teeth.

He applied pressure to the wound and then held his hand out for the needle and thread.

"You've got to stop the bleeding first." Devlin said looking at the already soaking towel.

"Do you have any cotton balls?" He asked and Devlin was on her feet again in a flash returning with a bag of large cotton balls.

He removed the towel and carefully placed five cotton balls inside the wound, the bleeding slowed down a little.

"Okay, let it slow the bleeding down and then remove them and stitch-"

"I know what to do." Harry grumbled and Devlin rolled her eyes looking offended.

"Sorry, I was just trying to help."

Harry shot her a look but leaned his head back against the couch arm.

"Harry what happened?" I asked, his eyes were closed and for a split second I thought he'd fallen asleep due to the pause between my question and his answer.

"Some guys down at the pub jumped me."

"What do you mean they jumped you? How many were there? Two? Three?"

"Six." He said and I gasped, six men?

"You're lucky you're alive." I said and he opened his eyes to look at me, the all too familiar Harry smirk poking out on his lips.

"You should have seen them."

I gulped, the feeling was back in my stomach, the feeling that Harry was dangerous and I should stay far far away.

"Why did they jump you?" Devlin asked with a knowing tone, Harry looked at he for a minute before looking at me.

"You didn't tell her did you.."

"I did, but Harry she's my best friend and she won't tell anyone, will you Dev?" I asked and Devlin shook her head.

"No, I won't." She promised, her eyes sincere.

Harry relaxed a little, seemingly satisfied with her answer.

"Langston was involved, he wasn't actually there but they were friends of his." He said and instantly I knew that the gut suspicion that this involved Langston was confirmed.

"Harry you have to go to the police." I said and he shook his head.

"No, they'll probably find some way to turn this around and make it my fault because they're still pissed that I got bailed out." He said wincing as he began pulling the soaked cotton balls out of the wound, the bleeding had slowed down by this point.

Carefully he threaded the needle and penetrated his skin and I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched Harry stitch himself up but yet here he was doing just that.

I noticed then all the bruises on his body, he had really took a beaten. I noticed all the tatoos too, they covered his torso like inky artwork, there was a butterfly and swallows, some weed looking things, several other tattoos laced up his arms and his hands.

He caught me staring and he cleared his throat making me jump and look away.

"They all mean something." He said and I looked at him quizically.

"The tattoos I mean, they all have some sort of meaning."

I nodded and Devlin cleared her throat beside me, I looked at her and she was staring back at me with an odd look on her face.

"There. Finished." Harry said tying a knot in the end of the stitch and cutting the access off.

"Right, well, okay then." I said and he sat up carefully, the skin restricting but the stitch holding nicely.

"Can I just ask where the hell you learned to do sutures?" Devlin asked finally and Harry smirked.

"It's among my many talents."

She rolled her eyes but then stood up, looking at me.

"Avery, will you come with me to the kitchen?"

I shot a look at Harry but he shrugged and stood up himself.

"I'm going to go wash my hands."

Miraculously there was no blood on the carpet or the couch, considering.

I followed Devlin into the kitchen and she started pacing, something she rarely did except when she was really upset.

"Harry Styles is in our home, he just stitched himself up, and now he's in our bathroom freshening up." She said and I nodded.

"Yes, and.."

"AND!?" She said raising her voice and I flinched.

"Avery he's a criminal! For God's sake he got stabbed doing God knows what and he shows up here for help!"

"I know, I know, but I couldn't just turn him away." I said defensively and she sighed rubbing her face.

"I know that, I wouldn't have expected you to.. but he can't stay here." She said and I nodded in complete agreeance with her.

"Tristan would have a freaking cow if he knew Harry was here." She said and as if on cue I heard the door buzzer go off and I froze.

"Oh this can not be happening." Devlin said exchanging a panicked glance with me.

I walked over to the buzzer.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, I think I left my phone charger there, can I come up?"

I looked at Devlin who was as pale as a ghost.

"What do I do!?"

"I don't know!? Why are you asking me!? He's your boyfriend!"

I inhaled and pushed the button.

"Sure, come on up."

Devlin ran over to me grabbing me by the shoulders.

"What in the hell are we going to do!?"

"I don't know, this can't be happening oh God I think I'm going to be sick." I said feeling vomit rise into my windpipe.

"Okay, okay, I'll keep Harry distracted, you get Tristan's charger and give it to him and make him leave!" Devlin said sprinting off to the bathroom and I nodded, get the charger, get Tristan to leave, got it.

I heard a knock at the door and I sucked in a breath, be cool, I had to be cool.

I opened the door, Tristan smiled a dimpled smile at me.

"Hey there you." He said and I forced the best smile I could back.

"Hey, come on in, I'll get your charger." I said bounding up the stairs.

When I got to the top I found Harry and Devlin standing outside of the bathroom.

"What the hell is going on?" Harry asked and I held my finger up to my lips.

"Shhh, Tristan's here."

His expression changed to aggravated in a split second.

"Oh for the love of fuck, I'm so sick of hiding from your police officer boyfriend I'm going downstairs." He said heading for the stairs and I grabbed his arm.

"Harry no please." I begged and he looked down at my hand and then at Devlin and me.

"Fine, five fucking minutes and then I'm gone whether or not Officer Shit Head is or not." He threatened and I nodded bounding past him into my room where I ripped the phone charger from the wall and raced back out the door, down the hallway past the two and back down the stairs where Tristan had taken a seat on the couch.

"Here's your charger." I said handing it to him and he stood up taking it.

"Thanks. Hey have you had dinner?" He asked pulling me into him and I put my hands infront of me pushing back.

"Actually, Devlin and I were just going to order some takeout and call it a night, I've got work in the morning." I said and he nodded, I thanked the lucky stars he didn't look upset.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asked and I all but pushed him to the door.

"Tomorrow." I agreed and he pulled me into him giving me a sweet kiss that lingered longer than I expected it to and then he smirked.

"See you baby."

I watched him head down the hallway and board the elevator before I shut the door quickly, exhaling a breath that I had been holding in for the longest time.

"He's gone!" I shouted up the stairs and down came Harry with Devlin on his heels.

"You're quite the host." He said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

"This is the second time I've had to all but push him out the door because you were here!" I said and Harry rolled his eyes.

"Oh come off it."

"No Harry, you can't be here, you've got to leave and quit coming here, I mean it. I can't have you showing up here eventually someone's going to get hurt."

"If your fucking prick head boyfriend lays a finger on me I'll end him." Harry warned and I inhaled slowly trying to keep my cool.

"That's what I'm trying to avoid, now, leave."

Harry started to argue but was cut off by a coughing fit, he winced and placed a hand on his now bandaged up wound.

"Shit that hurts." He grumbled.

"You've probably broken a rib with all that bruising." Devlin observed and Harry shrugged.

"Wouldn't be the first time."

I wanted to question how many times he'd gotten into a fight before but I decided against it.

"Look," Harry said running a hand through his hair, "the reason I came here tonight wasn't just to piss you off or to get you to help me. I came here because I need a place to stay, I was staying with a friend but that didn't work out and I've got nowhere else to go as of right now." He said his eyes looking everywhere but my face, I could see how wounded his pride was by asking.

Devlin shot me a look and then Harry.

"Kitchen." She said and I trailed behind her leaving Harry in the living room.

"He's got to be fucking crazy if he thinks he can stay here!" Devlin said and I nodded.

"I know, I know.. it's just.." I started and she narrowed her eyes.

"Oh no, you're not actually thinking about letting him stay here are you!? Avery he's a criminal! He got fucking stabbed! He's nothing but trouble and eventually his trouble will catch up with him and he'll be here!"

I knew she was right, I knew that Harry was bad, he was a force to be reckoned with. Yet something inside nagged at me to let him stay just for one night, he had just gotten out of prison and the chances of finding somewhere to go right off the bat were slim.

I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose and screwing my eyes shut.

"Just for one night. After that he leaves." I said and Devlin's eyes bulged out of her head.

"You're kidding right?"

"Come on Dev, the guys been stabbed for Christ's sake. He's got nowhere to go."

"And that's his own fault." She said crossing her arms and I sighed.

"I know, and I know it's a horrible idea but I can't help but feel like we have to."

"We ain't gotta do nothing." She said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be like that.."

"No seriously Avery, I'm not taking any part in this."

"Dev.." I said putting on my best pouty face and she shook her head.

"Oh no, that shit doesn't work on me and you know it."

"I know, but it was worth a shot. Just for tonight. Tomorrow he leaves and doesn't come back, if he does, I'll call the police myself." I promised and Devlin looked at me with uncertainty for a moment before sighing.

"Fine, one night. But I swear to you Avery if shit hits the fan I willl not take the blame."

"Agreed." I said and she rolled her eyes and sighed again.

"Come on, let's go tell the inmate he can stay."

Harry didn't argue when we told him that he had one night and then he had to be gone, if anything he looked a little relieved that we didn't give him the boot; although I'm sure he'd never admit that.

Devlin went to bed not long after, saying an awkward goodnight to Harry and shooting me a warning glare.

I stayed up a little longer to make myself a sandwhich and make sure Harry was comfortable before going to bed.

I took a seat beside him on the couch, allowing enough space between the two of us and began watching tv munching on my sandwhich, he hadn't said much since we told him he could stay and the quiet was unnerving.

Finally he spoke and I jumped a little at his voice.

"Sorry." He mumbled and I shrugged.

"You just haven't spoken in a while."

"Right."

I turned my attention away from the tv and looked at him, he was now shirtless and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes above his shoulders, his body although battered and bruised was undoubtibly one of the best looking I'd seen in a long time. It was firm, you could tell he worked out a good bit by his physique which was nicer than Tristan's, the thought alone made me feel guilty.

But it was more than the etching of his skin, it was the black ink swirls that splotched his torso, arms, hands and even ankles I noticed when he brought his legs up to him on the couch, he was a giant canvas covered in intricate artwork.

"I wasn't looking for a fight." He said snapping me out of my thoughts and I cocked my head.

Harry shifted, wincing a little when the stitches pulled and rested in a comfortable position for himself before speaking again.

"I was going to see a friend, I hadn't seen him since I got arrested, but as it turns out he was killed a couple months ago." He said, I could hear the sorrow in his tone.

"Douglas." I said and his eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, how'd you know that?"

"I had to invistigate his father, Mr. Tracey, it was his gun you had that night after all."

Harry nodded, and for the first time I could see him zoning out, no doubt going back to that night.

"Doug had given me the gun, I told him I needed one, he didn't ask questions or try to talk me out of it.. he was always a good friend, hell maybe my best friend." He said and I swore I could see tears forming in the ducts of his eyes but he blinked them away quickly.

"I never wanted to get Mr. Tracey in trouble, he's not in trouble is he?" He asked eyes wide and I shook my head.

"No, he's not. He said he figured that was what happened and told me he didn't want the gun back."

Harry nodded and ran a hand over his face.

"Mr. Tracey had always been like a father to me, even when my own father wasn't. After I found out about Doug, I went to Brigg's Bar, the one right off the point."

I nodded, I had seen Brigg's Bar but I'd never been inside of it, it was more a roughend type place, a place not for someone like myself.

"I got a few drinks and caught up with a bunch of old friends, well, more like acquaintances that I knew. I guess I drank too much, I've always been a mean drunk." He said scratching the back of his neck.

"I was on my way out and two guys I'd never seen before came up to me asking all these questions about Wesley, and Gemma.." He stopped talking, recollecting the thoughts, the words said to him about his sister that I was sure weren't pretty.

"I just, lashed out. At first there were two and then four and by the time it was said and done there were six of them all together, I didn't even realize I'd been stabbed until I walked away. I didn't kill any of them, incase you're wondering." He said looking at me and the tightness in my stomach let up a little.

"But I did fuck them up pretty good. Anyway, I knew I would need stitches but I didn't want to go to the hospital because they'd of called the police and I'd probably get arrested again for fighting, so I came here."

He finished his spew and we sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Harry I'm sorry this happened to you, to your sister, to your family." I said and he shrugged.

He got quiet and I thought maybe he was getting tired so I went to get up but he spoke again.

"About the tattoos.."

I turned and looked at him, he was leaned back against the arm of the couch.

"I take back what I said, they don't all have a meaning, but some do."

"Oh yeah?" I said cocking an eyebrow.

"Which ones?"

He went on to explain all about his tattoos, what they meant.

"And this one, this one is special." He said pointing to the butterfly on his stomach.

"And why's that?" I asked and a smile played on his lips.

"I like butterflies."

I laughed.

"You'd be surprised, it's location really."

"I know, I've got two." I said and he lifted an eyebrow and his signature smirk appeared.

"Really? Where?"

"Well I've got this one." I said holding up my foot to show him the small anchor tattoo on my foot.

"Okay, explain." He said and I giggled.

"Devlin and I got matching tattoos in college." I said and he nodded.

"Simple enough."

"And then I've got this one." I said moving my hair out of the way and struggling to move my shirt out of the way so I could show him the tattoo on my left shoulder blade.

My breath hitched a little when I felt his hand replace mine in holding my shirt down so he could see.

"What is it?" He asked, his breath tickling the nape of my neck he was so close.

"It's uh.. it's a deer." I said, finding it harder to concentrate with him breathing down my neck, literally.

"A deer?" He asked, his voice husky, huskier than it usually was.

"Yes.. I- I'm a bit of a Harry Potter nerd, it's my patronous." I said knowing how lame it sounded but he didn't mock or make fun, he didn't say anything for a few seconds, we sat in silence my shoulder still bared, holding my hair I could feel his hand still on my back.

"I like it." He said finally, his breath tickling my neck and ear sending shivers down my spine.

This is dangerous, abort mission now. I warned myself but I continued to sit there, frozen in place.

"You've got goregous skin." He said and I felt his finger tips tracing the tatoo, my heart began beating wildly in my chest, my breath becoming more erratic. I couldn't breathe.

I turned my head just a tiny bit and he was right there his face inches from mine, eyes staring into my soul.

His breath tickled my nostrils, it smelled of alcohol and faintly of mint.

"Harry.." I said slowly and his hand snaked around under my chin bringing my face closer to his, any second and our lips would connect, that's when it hit me.

I jerked back looking at him wildly, my chest heaving up and down, his expression never faltered.

"I- I have to go bed." I said scrambling to my feet.

I saw a small smirk play on his lips but he detained it.

"Goodnight Avery." He said as I walked past him towards the stairs.

"Goodnight Harry." I responded scurrying up to my room where I closed the door and flung myself on the bed.

I almost kissed him. And I wasn't going to stop myself either.

I kicked myself in the ass mentally and settled between the sheets, he was messing with my mind and I was so incredibly thankful he'd be leaving tomorrow.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against my pillow, his smell still clouding my senses.

I couldn't ignore the warmth that had spread throughout my entire body but I sure as hell wasn't going to act on it.

Or so I hoped. 

A/N: so if you've gone over to Wattpad and read this story on there you have probably noticed there are some things that are different that I deleted/added in on here because the story was written a few years ago and I am changing it as I go along if I feel like it needs to be changed. Eventually I will change it up on Wattpad as well, but for now these are gonna be the revised chapters. I hope you've enjoyed reading them as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Love to you all!

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Indie

Rio: Have you seen the paper yet? Indie: ive heard Indie: word be around Rio: 4 years, really weren't fucking around this time Rio: you alright? Indie: it aint 14 least 🍀 him Indie: im good ✌✌ Rio: True, still Rio: Longest he's ever been away, isn't it Indie: yeah Indie: most chief he been tho Rio: Also true Rio: They even gonna trust him to deal on the inside at this point, like Indie: nah hes proper owned himself w this Indie: 💔💔💔💔 like Rio: Shame, could easy get up to the lucky 14 when he was caught, they hate that shit Rio: Well, least we know now Rio: Ma's already talking to the relevant people, making sure they know you're officially staying with us like so no one need come sniffing 'round now your 'caregiver' is away Rio: Laughable Indie: it aint no thing 4's nuff to be all grown Indie: safe Rio: Yeah but you ain't yet babe, you know how it is Indie: to the feds but how you said imma be covered its chill Rio: It will be Rio: You know we've got you Rio: D'ya want some time off School, 'cos I can so ask Rio: they don't need to know we'll just be chilling and not 💔 Indie: i aint tryna dash that idea bitch Indie: what kinda tourist is i Rio: Yeah, I didn't reckon so 😏 Rio: I'm out shopping rn so I'll get your faves in Indie: 💖💖💖💖 Rio: I love you bitch Indie: innit tho Indie: cant swerve me now youre wifed fr Rio: Never Rio: Anyway he's busy 'til end of June so party at ours fr Indie: wen daddys away 😏😏😏😂😂😂 Indie: u gon b 💔💔💔💔 over thats how you need me off school mama i 👀 you Rio: Exactly 😉 Rio: Cheek! Rio: I'm so concerned, how dare Indie: i aint kno how you b letting him back in dem posho ends looking that 🔥🔥🔥👑👑 is what im chattin Indie: he be even more peng since you 💍 that Rio: It's the tan Rio: Don't reckon he'll have much time to be cheating, babe, we good Rio: Daddy not going nowhere Indie: & the ink 😍😍😍😍😍 Indie: only on his exams 🤞🤞 boy gotta hit dem high grades Rio: 😂 Cool it bitch Rio: where's the love for my ink? Indie: ive seen yours long Indie: blind to it bitch 😂😂😂 Indie: nah but he virgin so u kno Indie: poppin his 🍒😏😏 Rio: Okay I'll give you that 😋 Rio: I make good choices Indie: he gon bring me a daddy downgrade posh boy back from london or nah? Indie: cos bout it Rio: Probably breaks some kind of trafficking law, babe Rio: and the monkey was cuter Indie: that 🐒 aint gonna 💸💸💸 me no ferrari tho Rio: Maybe Rio: take it down beach and charge people for pics Indie: you savage 😂😂👑 boss moves Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Rio: Gotta think big picture always baby 💖 Indie: tru 💎💎💎 Rio: I'll let you drive it 'round farm later Rio: but I'll be putting mattresses on every tree like Indie: serious? Rio: Yeah Rio: Don't be telling Buster and don't be tryna break the land speed record Indie: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Indie: OMF Indie: the lads are gon 💀💀💀💀 wen they been knew Rio: can take some pics for the flex on them, naturally Indie: this is so sick Rio: I know Rio: It's crazy Indie: wed never have believed this madness wen we was rollin in the 24 a few back Indie: dis how you livin girl Indie: 👑👑👑👑 Rio: I could never park that in the 24 Rio: Thank God these flats have got a garage Indie: innit tho Indie: your mans tryna get you merked w you just wed Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: is it? Rio: get some insurance on me first, damn Rio: hardly worth it Indie: you worth more livin 💖💖💖😍😍 u kno Indie: he all bout dat brag too Rio: Aww Rio: So sweet 😂💘 Indie: fr Indie: gotta let me do my maid of honor tricks fore he dashes you or imma be vexed Indie: & gimme 👶👶👶👶s cos im hyped for all the youngers Indie: best big sister vibe innit Rio: 'Course Rio: I'll get to work asap, like Indie: ✌✌✌✌ Indie: u gon visit him or fr be here amp af til his schoolin done? Rio: Dunno, depends Rio: maybe for a weekend like but tryna let him concentrate and be here, like Indie: he not gonna concentrate if you aint there to ride him Indie: boys extra Rio: 😂 Rio: Oh babe, you saying the fate of his results lay in my 😻? Indie: 😏😏😏 u married him you aint need me to tell you how he do Rio: You funny Rio: I gotta be here though Indie: ?? Rio: For all y'all Indie: nah man Indie: days gone aint no drama Rio: Even if you good, Edie still ain't Rio: I should be about to help the 'rents out yeah Indie: if thats how you want it Indie: she been told? kno she aint reading no paper Rio: I think Dad messaged her but she never replies to them Indie: she get it from them least Indie: shit to hear it from the wasteman around Indie: heads @ school are loving chattin to me rn 🙄🙄🙄🙄🖕🖕 Rio: I know Rio: People are dicks Indie: so is drew Indie: gonna get chatted Rio: yeah, like you ain't been knew Indie: they aint care what i kno or say they just wanna talk what they wanna Indie: its bait Rio: yeah well you ain't gotta be 'round it now Rio: i got you a week off Indie: hectic Indie: you a real one like Rio: Literally the least I can do Indie: o that mean i can get more? 😂😂 Rio: I'm all about the hustle you know this Rio: depends on what you want tho Indie: imma think on Indie: make it good Rio: ✌ That's the attitude Indie: u kno Rio: Right, Imma get home and get cooking Rio: still wifey even if not in title Indie: 😍😍😍you soooooooo wifey 😍😍 Indie: mckenna best kno what he missin on Rio: No doubt Rio: who wouldn't miss all this? Indie: & he aint no tourist to it Indie: got this down u two Rio: Like to think so Rio: 😊 Indie: trust Rio: It is weird when he goes back to School Rio: how can you get married, legally, and still be in school, mad Indie: innit tho! i forget you aint proper 👵 &👴 Rio: 😂 Rio: imma have to start getting botox, like Rio: give me a complex Indie: naaaaah that aint how i mean Indie: u look 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but Indie: he got you domestic af Rio: Nuuh Rio: Ruuuuuude Indie: it cute Indie: jam ma Indie: 💘💘💘 feel the love 💘💘💘 Rio: Always be out here telling me I ain't a cool Ma 😜 Indie: roll w me now your mans away & we'll 👀 Rio: I'm 👏 letting 👏 you 👏 drive 👏 my 👏 new 👏 car Indie: aint mean you can hang in a party mood Indie: gotta keep up baby Rio: Bitch I taught you how to party Rio: The disrespect Indie: but when bitch Indie: it been long Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Rio: You gotta lay low-ish if I've jailbroke you but alright Rio: where we going Indie: cos im keepin on the dl ill put feelers out Indie: go further Rio: I can't drink though 😕 Rio: I'm on antibiotics rn 😒 Indie: is it? you can have drinks tho they just hit quicker Rio: Yeah, true Indie: ill keep you straight its all good Indie: trust Rio: 👍

[existentialstatesofmind]

Opening Up

Clare: raised an eyebrow at the mention of dark manga. “Thank you. I’ll have to download it to my tablet and check it out. But I will be careful. Especially when I read late at night.” She probably wouldn’t be able to sleep at all if she stumbled across the wrong manga. Clare laughed at Kota’s story. “One group of boys ruined it for everyone, huh. I guess the sewing and child development units would be worse especially if they didn’t choose to be there. I do want to learn how to cook. I can’t complain about getting my wish.” She shrugged. “She locked herself in a locker? If Nakashimi is so shy she was hiding from people not that long ago, I’ll just have to remember to be patient with her. Sounds like she’s trying to change.” At the mention of girls not wearing pants, Clare thought she was already experiencing culture shock. “I can’t win.” She grumbled. She smiled at Kota and playfully smacked his arm soon as he laughingly mentioned picturing her in Visual Kei style. “I already got the memo that I can’t pull off the Goth look from Eli! Okay, does this mean I have to freeze every time we go outside until Spring? I really can’t bring any pants with me?” She said in dismay. The leggings would be fine for school, they had to wear uniforms in the first place. The rest of the time was what concerned Clare. “Glad I found this out now. What if I pack all the wrong things? This is going to be a disaster. Are there other social norms to keep in mind while shopping?” Clare bristled at being called a Yankee. She’d mostly heard it in reference to New Yorkers usually with the word ‘damn’ preceding it and she was Canadian. “I was hoping you would. Dakota, if they think you slept with other girls before we started dating I won’t tell them differently. Not even Alli because it’s none of her business if my boyfriend’s a virgin or not. Sleeping in my room might make everyone at our new temporary school think we’re having sex. I don’t care. I can stop wearing my purity ring if we need to make it more believable.” She nervously twisted said ring around on her finger. Clare would do almost anything to keep from losing Kota the way she’d lost K.C especially since she was a lot more attached to her current boyfriend. However, she drew the line at having sex because you ‘were supposed to’. Wanting to because they loved each other was another story. “Japanese girls are lucky they’re not held to different impossible standards. However, I can’t just start having sex. Are you still okay with waiting? Whenever we are both ready, we’d have to take things really slow. There’s a lot to consider besides how I’m going to feel if I go against my beliefs. Birth control is out of the question for one thing.” Clare ignored Kota when he turned away. She had never spoken to a real celebrity before and she didn’t get to rehearse what to say. Who knew what would come out of her mouth if she wasn’t being guarded right now? Of course, it would’ve been far worse if he’d took her to meet Melanie Martinez backstage at a concert where she thought it was appropriate to jump up and down screaming in his ear and to ask for pictures and autographs. She shook Melanie’s hand. “I am so I know you’re not on tour right now. Are you here to shoot a music video or record a new album?” Clare asked still suspecting there must be another reason Melanie was in town. She listened the story about Johnny Depp with wide eyes. “You really did all of that, Kota? How old were you?” It was unbelievable, he knew all of these famous people and MB was blowing up. She smiled when Melanie mentioned bowling. It was very cool she did normal things though Clare wondered how she could without being mobbed. A disguise? Renting out a private bowling alley? “Yes of course you can!” She told Melanie. “Did Kota tell you about the exchange program we’re going on to Japan? I have to figure out what I need for about six months, and I had no idea what Kota was up to.” Clare said apologetically. She laughed glancing at her boyfriend. “He told me he’d give me a tour.”

Kota: looked at Clare. "You can choose what category you read. If you have drama selected and find a story it'll also show what other categories it's in such as fantasy, sci-fi, horror, and more that way you have a warning. Plus you need to judge the manga by the cover, if the picture looks scary the book will be scary." he explained not wanting her to read horror before bed. "If you want I can teach you the basics. I'm not sure if they'll require you to use a wok or not, but I can teach you how to use that too." he offered. "Well, the locker was unlocked so she mainly hid, but yes please be patient and know when she yells it's not out of anger." he smiled at her and listened to what she had to say. "No you don't have to freeze, you can wear pants when we're out together. I've heard by guys they're really warm and I may have to wear them. They are allowing us to have a Cultural Festival a little later so we'd be able to experience it first hand. Right now girls are asking my kendo club do a Host Cafe, but it probably won't be allowed. Our class will be doing a reverse maid cafe and you don't need to ask for pictures, you'll already get them. It's required that the entire class take a picture in their costumes which means I get to see you dressed as a guy since you'll be in charge of the register and the host. It'll be easy since you'll mainly take the customers to their seat and sit them down and that also means you get to wear pants." he assured and listened to her mention her purity ring and kids at school, he automatically put his hand on hers. "Clare, remember we're staying with Yohio. He's one of my best friends and probably already thinks we sleep in the same bed, but knows I'm a virgin and he hasn't told anyone. No one in school is going to know about us sharing a bed even if they sleep over. Emi and I can stay in my room and you can stay in yours with whomever sleeps over. You don't need to even take your ring off. A lot of girls will probably just look at it as a regular ring. I don't care if it takes me a while to lose my virginity. I'm not ready to lose it either. I have Emi and like you said birth control is out of the question and condoms break so even if I were ready, I wouldn't have sex. The only thing one hundred percent effective against pregnancy is abstinence and I don't want to risk having an Emi of my own running around. I wouldn't be able to deal with a crying baby and one that's hyperactive during the day. We can talk more when one of us is ready to take that step, but right now we're on the same page." he assured and kissed her head. When Clare asked Melanie her question, he looked at Melanie too. "Well, I came here to get away. This is my home away from home and Kota and I don't end up in another American scandal when we're here." Mel shrugged honestly. "I was 13 and yes. We really did run away to the UK." he confirmed. "Besides it's not like I can runaway to another country anymore." he sighed. "You could always run to America and we can hang out for about a day until videos of you get uploaded to youtube or something. 'This just in Kota Anderson just landed in LAX. Paparazzi are already on scene." Mel said mimicking a fake reporter as she and Kota laughed. "Not to mention the mobs." he stated. "Yes, like when we went out to eat. 'Can we get pictures and autographs?' 'Are you two dating?' and then the scandals began." Mel laughed. "But we squashed them in about a week." he reminded. "He did tell me about going to Japan, but not as an exchange program. I told him not to tell you he's meeting me. I'm glad to see he kept my promise." she smiled. "I want a tour too. We can go have some fun." she smiled and Kota lead them out of his office leaving Melanie's dresses in there. "What do you want to see first? I can't take you into the place where everything is made though, it's too dangerous. I can take you to other offices and to Yohio's lab." he explained.