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#id love to know your thoughts
8aji · 1 year
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Do you any books recommendation??⁉️
OKAY SO !! i gotta start by saying that i havent read many books and thats one of the reasons i didnt respond to this ask aside from me taking a break i was a lil embarrassed ngl BUT my response is finally here and i hope you enjoy my rant/rec list !!
all quiet on the western front - erich maria remarque
when i tell you this book destroyed the view i had of life and then built it back again...im not exaggerating. its so beautifully written, and the characterization is wonderful. the narration felt very personal to me, like the story was a little secret between me and paul (the main character), and i don't think it was bc it was written in 1st person pov. ofc im sure it influenced my perception of the story, but the language that was used and constant contradictions and the way paul would go on long, eloquently put together, tangents about his thoughts and emotions and opinions to then disregard everything he said with a sudden wave of doubt and hopelessness — i think it made him very human. i felt very connected to his character, and i do think it was bc i had grown fond of the version i saw of him in the 2022 film (which has nothing on the book, can't even compare em really), the already preexisting feeling was only amplified by the narration and the intricate sentences AND AND i saw my own writing be reflected on the book — for instance, i noticed there were very long long sentences, which is something i rlly like doing. all in all, it showcases the ww1 soldier experience very crudely, in a very beautifully sad way; you can feel remarque's pain and anger in every sentence — his opinion about the war and its futility are very clear, and it honestly makes the book a 100 times better. though i do think my opinion is VERY biased when it comes to this book so please do take it with a grain or a spoonful really of salt
everything i never told you - celeste ng
i read this book a while ago, but even so it remains as one of my top 3 i dont read a lot bear with me TT the book has a very catchy opening line, which instantly had me hooked — it narrates the story of a mixed-race, chinese-american family in the 70s and how they navigate the disappearance of their daughter. i think the book does an amazing job at juggling multiple povs without neglecting any character. it develops each individual storyline very well and the way it delves into the internal conflicts and psyche of each character is just 10/10
little fires everywhere - celeste ng
i gotta be honest, this book didnt "hook" me as much as the other two did, but i still think it was very good and definitely worth a read. i think celeste ng has the tendency to start her books very actively? what i mean with this is that she opens up the story with a very shocking fact or occurrence (?) and then ties everything back to the beginning — almost as if she started writing the story backwards. i think that's really cool, bc even though we as the reader know the "climatic" event, we dont exactly know what happened and are left at the edge of our seats wondering what exactly went down for this to happen, ya know?
the metamorphosis - franz kafka
now, this is also me being biased bc i have the biggest and greatest, most softest spot for kafka and this book. in short, and i mean in very short, the story's about a man who suddenly turns into a bug — the beauty of simplicity in summaries. i read it when i was 16 in literature class and i was absolutely smitten with the story the main character...i really wanted to fix him, kay?? at the time i wasn't at my bestest in terms of mental stability, so im sure that influenced my love and understanding for the book, but analysing it in class and delving into the context behind the book and the author, and interpreting it from my own pov just sigh it was so good.
like water for chocolate - laura esquivel
FUCK i can't express how fun this book is. its a romance book, and also a perfect example of magical realism. AND IT DOES IT THROUGH FOOD !! tita (the main character) has a very deep bond with cooking, and because of this, the food she makes is a direct reflection of the emotional state she was in while she did so — cook the food that is. and, if im not mistaken bc i also read this book when i was 16, each chapter starts with the recipe that tita will prepare — i loved that detailed so much because i love cooking as well, tho i prefer baking. and though it is technically a tragic-romance novel, it is very lighthearted (and i mean this in the bestest way possible) and very funny imo. i would recommend it to anyone in the blink of an eye.
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druid-for-hire · 1 year
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[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled "immortality” after the poem by clare harner (more popularly known as “do not stand at my grave and weep”). the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]
a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”
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lucabyte · 8 months
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I don't know how everyone isn't also always constantly thinking about how burial rites seem to be potentially one of the few things Siffrin instinctively remembers about their culture. But rest assured. I am in fact always thinking about it.
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Textless version where they're just hanging out. It's fine!
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lovesickeros · 4 months
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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babblingbonnabel · 17 days
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🪡 + 🔨 | more yapping!!
NOTE: because so many bigger members of the Avarice Battalion are from the Omega clan, a big portion go to The Garden to celebrate the Omega Tree every Spring (a large symbol of longevity and legacy for the clan...before they burned down lmaooo!!!).
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that1notetaker · 6 months
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Hi, I'm bad at talking to people, especially online, but I make comics and maybe it'd be nice to read what you people think, so I'm putting myself in the void? Will it echo or will it engulf me and regurgitate silence?
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kimeoshi · 8 months
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hey guys might i introduce you to rattore (wip)
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miabebe · 19 days
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Camp Seventeen ramble zone
I'm breaking down the plot of camp seventeen into chapters and so far it's going well :) In the meantime, I thought I'd interact with y'all a little
What are your assumptions of the series? Which member/members do you think OC is going to end up with? Do you think she will end up with anyone at all? Which character are you rooting for? What are you looking forward to the most? Do drop some comments/asks!
I'd love to know and compare notes with what I've already planned hehe it would definitely push me to write and post sooner!
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crescentmp3 · 25 days
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kill your feelings, eleanor
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[image desc: digital art of op's original character, eleanor lloyd. she has a grim look of hesitation on her face, a dagger in her hand as she holds in her hand a heart—her own heart, light growing inside it to paint it red and pink with love as the darkness in it melts off. she grips the dagger tightly, peering intently at her heart. the drawing has dramatic lighting for effect, and she seems to be in her own room. there is a barely visible corkboard at the back that has the face of the earl crossed out. // end id]
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kasper7489 · 4 months
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I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)
But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'
Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!
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parchmentknight · 5 months
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realizing that i am an outlier in fandoms because i do not ship anyone with anyone
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skunkes · 11 months
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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.
any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc
#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments#talkys#inspired by recent me and friend events#and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect#but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person#and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes#its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio#but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being#ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em#long post#delete later#sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late#but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different#people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people#this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the#time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling#part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info#like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life#but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em#some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things#and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^
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puppyeared · 4 months
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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camzverse · 3 months
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Nooo cam u dont want to analyze the psychology behind mikes actions in the bite of 83 even though scott didnt put anywhere near your amount of thought into it noo dont do that. freak
#(guy who loves psychoanalyzing people voice) Yeah idk i just think that theres a difference in severity of mikes bullying of cc#compared to when his friends were around and considering mikes age and the impulse in teenagers to impress others you want to like you#(ie your friends) its likely he decided to do the thing he knew would upset cc the most bc he was focused on making sure his brother is the#most afraid possible so he and his friends can get a laugh and enjoy themselves and Fuck Thinking About Consequences We're Like 15 Bro#compared to when youre alone and have no one to impress / to egg you on / indulge your negative behaviors so he may not go as far as#actively putting him in a dangerous situation because without anyone around you to influence you youre more likely to think before you act#(to some extent) which is why prior to shoving his head in fbs mouth he only ever just jumpscared him and locked him in a room which wasnt#actively dangerous iirc. i dont think i have any more to say Does that make sense#if this is incoherent just know its getting late dont question me i may or may not be eepy depending on if this makes sense or not#anyway !! this is also NOT to say that michael wasnt to blame OR that he was peer pressured into doing it#im just saying that i dont think it would have happened if he was alone. for these reasons. thank you gn this has been my tedtalk.#and if you read all the way to the end then id like to say: what are you doing with your life /lh#am i putting too much thought into it? Yeah this is fnaf. of course. i doubt it was thought out much. but thats what i doooooo#they call me the thinker guy the way i. think. ok thats enough talking for today cameron#cam.txt#oh and if this is like. obvious. i guess. then shhhh i said nothinggg. perdóname. no oísteis nada
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woodenfawn · 1 year
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He then proceeded to, among *many* other things, punch him in the face, literally bite his hand, and spit blood on his clothes
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