#idc anymore at least i have my mom to talk to

[strangecryptid]

yay! i love health issues! first i break my ankle, then i have hormone issues, then relationship issues, and now more issues apparently!! i love my life!!!

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E8 "The Roast" thoughts:

Ok, I watched this episode three times and I'm still smiling. I love when you think and episode is gonna be about something because of its title and then surprise you when its all a misdirection (see also: Succession's "Connor's Wedding").

At first Laszlo's err… state intrigued me, love everyone projecting and imposing their own insecurities (Guillermo's secret, Nadja's hex) as a reason on why he is behaving like that. And of course it's a stupid reason 😭.

"And a flat pepsi for Guillermo". Oh Nandor, that's the worst thing you ever done to Guillermo, that's the worst thing you could do to anyone. And yes, I remember a certain S4 episode.

I screeched like a bird when Colin mentioned dreaming about being a baby under Laszlo's care, not only because I wanted this shit to happen since the past finale, but also I really thought the episode was going on that direction (and also bc its another W for my predictions).

Having said that, LOVED the nonchalance of Nadja and the others when they were like 'no, it wasn't a dream, that totally happened'.

I mentioned it in a separate post: they really had a Sweet Dee in IASIP moment when The Guide gave the roast idea, only to be ignored and then the same idea being stolen by a dude who is celebrated.

Seanie's poor brain it should be soup at this point, we don't know if he can hazily remember the event like it happened before.

What can I remember is his line after Nadja's roast because it was one of the biggest laughs for me: "Women CAN be funny!" I fucking loved it so much, it's the perfect condescending shit straight men say all the time, even when they're trying to be complementary to you they can't stop being garbage. It was a simple line but Anthony nailed the delivery and timing. Seriously, rewatch that part.

At first I was confused why all the jokes were so mid, but shortly I realized this episode wasn't about the roast at all, lol.

Just by watching screenshots of other users I noticed that in the scene of Nandor resting his head on Guillermo's shoulder there's a BIG flame between them. LMAO. There's no way that is unintentional.

Good for The Guide being the catalyst of Baron Afanas learning the truth. I was demanding more screen time for her lately, so having some incidence in the main plot goes on the plus column.

The other guests present at the roast being shocked at the knowledge of Guillermo killing vampires surprised me; I always assumed Guillermo being a familiar/slayer was a known fact in the vampire community after his very public massacre at the Théâtre des Vampires.

Fuck yeah when I realized this is a Doug Jones spotlight episode, I just fuckin ahgdjkaksdf, love him, perfect, no notes.

The Baron being terrifying!! Guillermo was seriously scared for the others and he barely tried to show off his Van Helsing abilities.

Nandor and Nadja begging the Baron to not hurt Guillermo!! 😭 Them being dragged while grabbing the cape!! 😭 They're spiritual siblings to me!! 😭😭

They really reminded me a little bro and sis begging their mom to not hit their beloved older brother with the chancla for talking back or something.

I fell for the two fake-outs with the sack lol I'm so gullible when it comes to vampires I guess.

NANDOR PAINFUL SOUNDS (MOANS???) WHEN HE BELIEVED HE WAS IN FRONT OF GUILLERMO'S INERT BODY. IT WAS SAD BUT ALSO A LITTLE HORNY!!!

"At least he died doing what he loved: beating off in the toolshed."

A wonderful small detail: After Laszlo opened fake Guillermo with the knife he cleaned his hands on The Guide's dress.

Idc if you think its dark, the whole 'Nandor will kill you and then kill himself' bit becoming a recurring joke it's peak writing.

I wish I can say something more serious about Baron Afanas' sadness over how boring his life is now. But I just keep thinking that the way he talks about his homelife with The Sire and the Hellhound sounds exactly when a dude has a middle life crisis and suddenly he doesn't enjoy his marriage anymore. They're husbands!! And I loved how cunty he looked at the end all half-charred (see posted gif) Queen!

Now, the Nandermo of it all: What more can I say than incoherent screaming and foaming from the mouth? Episodes 8 are all about them again!! Nandor on the window looking all cliched melancholic heroine of a romance novel?? How relieved he was when he found him in the coffin??? Him still remembering Guillermo's card word for word???!! Knowing that this toxic dark sided devotion goes both ways???!!! Borrowing the words of Fleabag: THIS IS A LOVE STORY.

Seriously, I know all these soft Nandor moments are here so the heartbreak when he learns about Guillermo being turned it's even bigger. But still denying that there is a romantic undertone between these two it's just being purposely adamant at this point (i'm looking at you wwdits reddit). Even if nothing explicitly romantic happens on screen, just by watching these moments, I know, we know.

Now, go listen to the ending song again. You will not regret it.

[jackhues]

new au idea (m.tkachuk!daughter) lmk ur thoughts!!

on december 17th, 2019, delilah/lilah was born. matthew has just turned 22 a few days ago, and he didn't want a kid. he told mom he'd pay for child support, but he didn't want to be a part of her life because he was too young, he was too into hockey.

he never bought any presents for her, simply sent a monthly stipend to mom bcz he didn't want any attachment. he gave a little more money than needed to mom, but it still wasn't much to him.

his parents weren't super happy, but they live with his decision. brady and taryn fought with him for a while, but then decided that she's their niece even if he doesn't want to be the dad. uncle brady and aunt taryn are a part of delilah's life and she loves them.

mom has a history of drug abuse, but she'd been clean for a few years when she met matthew. she'd collect the extra money he gave, promising it's for a bday present for lilah, but she ended up giving up and relapsing. she did this a few times, but no one found out and she always promised herself it'd be the "last time".

on april 5th, 2023, (lilah's 3) when brady went to visit mom and lilah in florida while he was versing his brother, he found mom high out of her mind. he basically ran in the house looking for lilah, and found her crying in a corner behind her bed, too scared to get out. brady took her and left.

he called matthew, who didn't pick up, so he ended up driving straight to his house. matthew opened the door and saw brady with a kid and was so confused until brady was like "it's your kid. this is delilah."

matthew's pissed like "why tf would you bring her here? i've already talked to her mom, we've got an agreement--"

"does that agreement still hold when she's high out of her mind?" brady asked. "when she's scared lilah so much she didn't want to come out from her corner behind the bed?"

and matthew's like ...shit. he looks at lilah, who's pretending to be asleep soundly in brady's arms and he doesn't know what to do anymore.

brady puts lilah on matthew's bed and is like to him, "look, idc what your problem is with having a kid. but her mom's got some issues, and at least until she works them out, you gotta watch her. she's your kid." and when matthew looks unconvinced, he adds, "yk what? if you don't want her, fine. but you're still her dad, and legally, her guardian. i need you to watch her until taryn or i can get custody."

and matthew snaps out of it and he's like, "i don't need one of you guys to take custody. she's my kid. i've got her."

and brady's shocked bcz that's the first time matthew's acknowledged it, but he's feeling accomplished, so he heads out.

matthew looks at lilah sleeping in his much too big bed and is like, "brady's gone. are you still gonna pretend to be asleep?"

and lilah opens her eyes and sits up, looking matthew in the eyes. she doesn't ask him if he's her dad, she doesn't ask him where she is, she simply goes, "are you gonna keep me away from mommy?"

matthew sighs and lilah flinches (which breaks his heart) but he sits on the floor and is like, "your mommy is not feeling good right now. until the doctors can get her better, until she can get herself better, you'll be staying with me."

and lilah's like, "i don't wanna go back to mommy. she's scary. can i stay with you? you're uncle brady's brother, right? my dad?"

and matthew doesn't know how to answer the first question, so he just nods and goes, "yeah, i'm your dad. and i know you've got a hundred more questions, but right now, you need to sleep, okay? you had a long day."

"can i hold your hand?" lilah asks. "mommy ripped apart my bernie (a stuffy she has) and now i need to hold something."

so matthew scooches a little closer and let's lilah wrap her tiny fingers around his hand and she falls asleep for real this time.

and for the first time, matthew's feeling this connection with a kid he never even saw, and he's like "i'm not letting anyone hurt you like that again, i promise."

let me know what you guys think of this :))

EDIT: this is now an au, here's the navigation page!

[azulas-lightning-bolt]

uhhh guys I just realized I have a really big problem

I’ve officially oc-ified mako I repeat I have oc-ified mako. it’s happened. do you know how I know this? I drew him (I know, shocker) with grown out-ish hair and a lightning scar on his face. HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE CANON MAKO ANYMORE BESIDES HIS DUMB EYEBROWS HELP

I genuinely cannot escape this goofy ass orphan.

anyway here’s a list of mako hcs (under the cut)

gets called pretty boy four hundred thousand times a day and bolin makes fun of him for it because he’s a big scary police officer who gets flirted with by criminals he brought in. and I know I have it in the tags of some old post somewhere but bolin got called champ by a girl he was on a date with once and mako absolutely used that against him in retaliation

he’s shy but not in the nervous around people way. he’s shy in the awkward really intense eye contact because he doesn’t want to sound weird when he talks way. if he didn’t have extrovert guidance counselor bolin he would just never speak to anyone

i also firmly believe he is either mildly autistic or has severe anxiety (he’s me)

he cries once a year (exactly 365 days apart) at exactly four o’clock on the hour and has done this since he was ten.

remember that one episode where mako was like ‘where’s chief beifong’ ‘are you okay chief you’ve been asleep for sixteen hours’ and ‘chief is really good at her job the city’s lucky to have her’ on zaofu. pretty sure it was ‘old wounds’? that’s how he is all the time. he says chief at least 463 times an hour and a month into working at the station people just give mako an update on the chief as soon as he walks up to them. she’s his mom your honor. tenzin is always fighting demons when he sees mako look at lin like she’s his mom and she’s like. chill with it. he’s like ain’t NO way. basically mako gets one female figure of authority in his life and immediately latches onto her as a mother figure. lin is grudgingly accepting because he’s kind of pathetic and sad looking (he reminds her of herself)

he’s transmasc. I don’t make the rules (I do in fact make the rules)

as you know from that one post, mako is absolutely a great chef.

I think he’d either be a charcoal artist or a really good writer. only charcoal artist, but he would do all kinds of writing—short stories, novels, poetry, journalism, whatever. he’d occupy himself on late nights he couldn’t fall asleep on an empty stomach with made up stories and he just started to get really good. but he also hasn’t gone to school since he was eight so he’d get frustrated if he doesn’t know the word for something. if he drew it would be hyperrealistic portraits (he’s trying to remembers his parents’ faces)

kind of related to that but I think mako loves reading/writing but is a natural math genius.

I know I’m a little insane about, like, character parallels but I just KNOW katara sees herself in mako.

so azula is my all time fav girl right. so she and mako both generally maintain a good poker face or a facade that masks genuine constant rage right. (just agree with me) but at the end of atla. azula’s breakdown. now, now hear me out. mako->azula style breakdown when he finally loses his shit. he’s just so girl coded and azula’s rage seems so. fitting for him I guess. it’s also the inherent feminine anger of firebending I guess? I’ll explain that one later. probably. hopefully. I have so many posts I’m planning to write oh my god.

korrasami r still in love with him and they all get together post canon 😋���🏼

HETEROCHROMIA!!! idc if it’s central or in each eye but that man has one gold/brown and one green eye.

the mako in my head also looks a lot more like bolin—and bolin might have some of the more angular fn features as well to balance them out and make them look like, yk, actual mixed kids.

that’s probably it for now but by god if I don’t update this list

[vole-mon-amour]

3x11, part 1.

i was determined to wake up at my own pace but then I saw the pic that Phil posted and it woke me right up. good thing i didn't look at it at 6 am, lol. it's 9:22 am, here we go. (upd: and when i finished with this post, it was 10:23. this is a three hour watch at the very least.)

Colin really is reborn, huh? I'd expect this from Isaac, but I'm glad it's Colin who stops them.

What he should have said: "Well guys, you ask Ted first and if he's up to it, we're talking/I'm in."

Husbands. IDC anymore. They're besties either way.

"Letting my mom stay with me is the right thing to do, but damn it, it's a pain in the ass."

Sooo... Jamie really is a nail chewer, huh? Baby boy, that's such a bad habit. Works as a coping mechanism though (probably).

Jamie is THRILLED to be there.

The scar. He's such a pretty boy, for real. Leaving Brendan and Jason's name in on purpose bc yeah.

Might start wailing right here bc Jamie's constant feeling of self-worth aka not being enough in everything aka not deserving other's people love and admiration aka Roy and Keeley can get back together, I don't deserve to be happy with them/one of them. Yeah, this hurts.

I wonder what triggered (dad? :)))) bc Jamie is usually a sunshine, but to see a glimpse of what's actually going on inside Jamie's head is... yeah. Gosh, I love this kid so much.

What a woman, my goodness. A goddess for real.

And his hair? :D

this is a renaissance painting. Bumbercatch is on full adoration mode. Dottie wanting to meet Dani and immediately befriending him. Trent <3333

The fact that she keep using Oklahoma (and Ted is responding to it like a Pavlov's dog, heh) but that they're CLEARLY best PLATONIC friends. There's no romantic chemistry but a lot of trust and I LOVE seeing it. It would make all the sense in the world if they stay platonic till the end and eventually have their own partners and have double dates and all. Ted with Trent when? Rebecca maybe with her Dutch guy? Someone that would feel her striked by a fucking lightning.

Now tell me Ted is staying in England.

A throwback to the first season? Where Rebecca wanted to destroy Ted and knew the owner of the Sun?

I'm sorry, Rebecca is buying A HORSE?? While living in a house in London? It would make way more sense to me if she had a huge territory where she can keep the horse and take care of it and ride it when/if she wants to and spend time with it in general.

"I'm your future husband-in-law." HE'S SO POLITE. SO GENTLE. IDK about Rebecca's partner, but I know who I want Ted with.

Baby boy. Baby. Jamie, tell me who hurt you, I'll kill them.

Are you going to finally kiss Jamie?

IS HE GOING TO FINALLY KISS JAMIE? I know he won't but omg, everyone else in the room can see it. Everyone else but the main fucking audience.

"I love your son & I like you very much." HE. HIM. That soft expression, that smile.

[chromotps]

*immediately pounces on you to talk about CoraLaw bc no one else does anymore (at least, not on Tumblr and not English speakers)* I wanna know so bad how adult Law and Cora would interact bc that'd seem so interesting. Especially on a Cora Lives AU. Imagine coming back to life to find out the boy you saved turned out to be a pirate and a(n) (ex)warlord but also a doctor slash (advanced, bc of his devil-fruit lmao) surgeon. It was probably what most would expect what Law would occupy when he was given the devil-fruit (minus the whole pirate and warlord thing I guess) but at that time all Cora expected and hoped what law would be was free. And thinking of that, Cora would realise just how much Law had grown and how he's far from the kid he was then and how little he knows about the man (not that he knew much about Law even when he was a kid anyway, both their pasts were a touchy subject for them but they did get to know each other a little bit and got close, and at that time that was enough for both of them. They didn't need to know about each other's past or something to love and care for each other. I'm not saying your past defines you but sometimes it kinda does. Not fully, no, but it does help shape you into what you are now). And Cora realises that he missed out on so many things. They both wanted to live together, fully and freely. But Law spent 13(?? Or so) years without him but also, Law hadn't been exactly free, not when Doflamingo was alive and Cora-san's death was a wound that will never be healed. Yk what I'm spitting nonsense at this point and I'm probably projecting but yuh... I just badly wanna know how adult Law and Cora would interact when Cora steps into the light again (AKA brought back to life lmao).

Argh I wanna talk about them but I don't know what to say!!!! These idiots make me cry and sob and scream and smile and laugh and I cannot get them out of my head.

But oh! Regarding of their relationship dynamics, I do love the idea of Law being so openly devoted to Cora (and also possessive and obsessed but the latter is almost a fact that he doesn't even need to so anything or say anything for anybody to notice. I mean, look at this guy. He has tattoos dedicated to his lover. The Jolly Roger on his ship is dedicated to his lover. One of his techniques is dedicated to his lover. He steals hearts because his lover's name is Corazon which means heart in Spanish. Yes the last is a HC of mine but idc he'll still be obsessed even when my HC is removed lol). Idk if Cora would leave a kiss mark on anywhere on his skin he'd leave it there until it gets accidentally (and only accidentally, if anybody tries to wipe it off he'd replace their heads with a mop) wiped off. Cora would also be open about their relationship and would proudly gush about his lover who grins when he's kissed on the nose and could cuddle whenever Cora wants to (then he'd introduce said lover to the people and they're a bit shocked to see a 6 foot tall emo looking mf—). They'd fr be the Mom and Dad of the Heart Pirates. But that doesn't make them any less troublesome lmao.

...I had another thought pop up in my head and I— sigh... thinking about Strawhats meeting Cora and him and Sanji bonding over make-up (implied Zosan. Yes I did just imply Zosan without saying anything that could imply Zosan. I'm brilliant. Also implied Genderfluid Sanji. I love my HCs). And also— what. What does that have to do with– sorry, I was talking to my brain bc it suddenly brought Cross Guild Polycule (+ Shanks) in too. I remembered a fanart where Crocodile, Buggy and Cora were talking about jewellery and make-up while their significant others (Mihawk, Shanks and Law) are staring intensely at them xD not sure if that was a ship fanart tho! Also, I made it into Cross Guild (+ Shanks) polycule bc I can *blinks cutely*. So yeah. Just Bottoms bonding over treasure, jewellery, cosmetics and maybe their lovers (Pls we don't get enough Bottom Cora fics I am begging on my knees for them—).

I am making zero sense and I'm yapping at this point but *breathes heavily* I love talking about CoraLaw. I need more fanart. I need more fics. I need more content, posts about them. I– *dissolves into thin air*

hello!! wowza that's a lot of headcanons ahaha. I need to organize my answer lmaoooo

My brain caught on one of the points you made about adult Law and Cora—like, how surprised Cora would be at Law being a pirate. Maybe, after only really having Doflamingo as an idea of what pirates are like, Cora is a little... not disappointed, but like, worried when he finds out. Part of that worry goes away when he sees that Law isn't cruel. But he does slowly understand that, like you said, Law wasn't totally free after living with all that anger and guilt. I think I saw a post a while ago that talked about how Law never claims that he wants to be the King of the Pirates or anything—his "dream" was really just to avenge Cora, and might not have expected he'd survive after that. SOOOOOOO. I think once Cora totally catches up on who Law is as an adult (and realizes he still loves him :3c), he forces Law to sit down and have a conversation about what his new dream should be—it isn't about what he'd die for anymore, but what does he want to live for? Then, I guess the headcanons could be anything... maybe they decide they want to focus on bringing medical help to people who need it, and Law becomes some kind of renegade pirate doctor who goes into places the world government has quarantined... i don't know!! the world is their oyster!!

Ah... the two of them being lovey-dovey around the Heart Pirates........;w; I do also like the idea of them being a little secretive about it, at least maybe at first—like, Law is such a private person, and he doesn't want to "share" Cora after just getting him back... even if it's his own crew just seeing Cora blush or something, haha. And I love cute, open-with-his-feelings Cora, but also liked that rough side of him that would curse out useless doctors and stand up to Doflamingo—I could see him actually being more flustered than Law telling others about their relationship... Like, Cora is talking to Sengoku over transponder snail, and saying stuff like "yeah... I'm... kind of getting dinner with Law tonight. Yes, that Law—don't laugh, damn it, Dad!" and struggling to get his words out. Then Law comes up and takes the receiver from Cora to say, "Then we're gonna make out afterward. Have a nice evening," and hangs up.

my brain is unfortunately too obsessed full with ace/lu and lawcora to come up with anything fun for those other characters, but I'm sure someone out in the world could add on! I'd also love more fics for themmm. I know sometimes you have to "make your own food", but I'm still too deep in my Ace Era to do anything about it yet haha

[maxverstepponme]

some of my opinions on recent matters summarized and other takes because fun!

- i was very neutral about alexa for a long time but i'm starting to like her alot! as another anon said, i think just her vibe and aura itself is very pretty. she seems like a really nice girl. also charles seems to have a type for the "shy and sweet" girl, charlotte only ever seemed „confident“ online but she came across as very shy but polite in videos with fans and often seemed unsure of herself. her modelling bts videos from a few weeks ago were also screaming insecurity tbh..

- i somehow have stopped caring for kelly completely. idc anymore. i don't keep up with her grooming and immature ass, idc for what her and max do, idcccc and it's the best feeling ever besties. if max is dumb enough to still be with her--well, shit. that's on him. ofc i would still be more than ecstatic if they'd break up but yk what if not...again, on him. also on talks with dilara,, i really miss that girl! what a stunning and sweet woman. max fuuuumbled. But also Dilara? You single honey?

- for some reason rebecca herself doesn't give me that much of an ick,, like at least it's known she's an escort and being with men for money and her fifteen seconds of fame. which is also the reason why i don't get why carlos picked her exactly for a PR relationship because it's obvious for anyone who is on social media. also carlos never has chemistry with any of his girlfriends. it's so fucking bland and dry and giving noooothing. he literally has more chemistry with lando and charles at that point lol

- isa hernaez posting shady tiktoks is just funny asf to me for some reason. also. why now. but it's funny to me and tbh she's been glowing since the breakup. maybe she's still sheming with charlotte s. who is also posting some questionable stuff here and there like the happier than ever when i'm away from you video

- at the talk of cha s. i feel like she only has two types of fans left. a) the ones who are still desperatedly clinging on to charles and "chacha" and making awkward edits of them and b) those who hate charles and are all like "omg cha you're the queen" and "mother's side of the divorce always" and are saying that her new guy is hotter than charles,,, girl. bffr. i'm cackling. who are you trying to fool baby? also funny that her new guy is apparently like shitty or sumn

- also i know absolutely nothing about that erling haaland guy and his weird isabel girlfriend other than that he's kinda hot and she has crazy eyes and is shitty too, but i find it entertaining as hell lol i'm eating that drama up like munch munch munch mhm delicious food. also good to know that not only f1 has weird wags lmao

1. Agree! So far I like Alex and her vibe, so I hope she doesn’t end up going to the dark side.

2. Same. At this point nothing she does surprises me, and even though we don’t care about her that much, I still hope Max opens his eyes. He deserves better than that. Also, Dilara has a boyfriend, and his name is Max 😭

3. They’re just so weird imo. This is either a bad PR relationship or they made it public because everyone found out he cheated on Isa with Rebecca.

4. Yes yes and yes!

5. The “I’m a child of divorce” narrative is so cringe to me. Like people need a lesson on relationships and that many can end 💀

6. I also agree with you on this. She has the crazy eyes and everything that has come out about her creeps me out. Her mom stalking other women had me shook. These men need to stop going for psycho and insecure women 😭

[highlifeboat]

Since you mentioned Raven, Dad, what's your general thoughts/headcanons on her?

Alright so, it's been a while since I watched Teen Titans or any of the movies (I do wanna watch them again. At least the show. That was my shit as a kid) BUT, if it isn't obvious, I fucking love Raven. She's just so cool, and I loved her aesthetic, and her powers are fucking AWESOME. (Plus Tara Strong? Absolute queen of Voice Acting she's the only Raven as far as I care [Taissa Farmiga is really good in Judas Contract and the other movies tho. Credit where Credit's due lol])

This is just as side note, too, but the TTG/2006 TT crossover movie? A goddamn mess. I never needed to Raven vore herself.

Okay, so, general headcanons:

This is just a small thing, but she's defiantly got pointy ears and fangs. I mean, girl is half demon. She deserves more visible demon-esqu features besides grey skin and purple eyes.

She likes men and women, but refuses to label herself as Bi or Pan because she just... doesn't want to.

On the Ace spectrum, but, again, refuses to label herself as such.

Doesn't care about pronouns. Like she isn't genderfluid or anything like that but she can vibe with any pronouns.

Autism™

The biggest Parental Issues known to man (pretty sure that's just canon anyway)

She was raised by monks so I have a feeling she never had a strong relationship with her mom.

Like, they loved each other but it never felt like a real paternal relationship.

She knows and understand the circumstances in which she was conceived. And there's always been this sense of self loathing that comes with it.

She also refuses to acknowledge Trigon as her father anymore.

Touch aversion. She hates being touched by 90% of people.

She's still incredibly guilty about, y'know, ending the whole world.

The order of her friends, from most to least favourite; Cyborg, Starfire, Robin, Beast Boy.

As far as she's concerned, her friends are her family. They are her brothers and sister. She loves them dearly.

She still likes to help Cyborg work on the T-Car and any of his other mechanical projects.

Social Anxiety

This girl does not drink water. Like... ever. Only tea. Her friends have to force her to drink water.

She's also just... inherently carnivorous. She eats way more meats than veg.

She actually misses Terra quite a bit. But there's always that lingering feeling of betrayal when Raven thinks about her. So she tries not to.

Fat crush on Rose Wilson, I do not take criticism. She refuses to acknowledge it, though, because that's Slade's daughter (Yes I am merging TTG lore into this. Rose should have been in the 2006 show idc.)

Speaking of Slade, she has many nightmares about that man.

Her and Starfire having "Girl's nights" and just hanging out together.

And... I think that's all I have. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[cidnangarlond]

my stepmom's niece is getting married to her girlfriend next week and my stepmom was telling me earlier because they Just found out they were going to get married next week and hopefully saturday at least I can go up for a small little get together because the niece in question her parents (my stepmom's sister namely) won't be going (dad doesn't care either way if his daughter has a girlfriend it's a whatever makes you happy thing with him but the mom VERY much disapproves and won't talk to her anymore really and my dad and stepmom have been keeping in contact because my stepmom also is like whatever makes you happy and my dad has my sister and I so he's supportive ofc) and my stepmom is like we're GONNA go idc idc. so I'm trying to get work off for at least saturday to go up and be part of this little thing and I will be wearing my pants and button up combo... they need to know I'm one of them if it wasn't already obvious to the niece by the everything else about me

[globodamorte]

...is jeongdo planting memories in seongbin's head. hear me out.

ok first of all I literally almost threw up reading this episode. the music was a cool touch but the way jeongdo was pressing seongbin like "I need to humiliate him" "he's thinking he's better than us bc were being slandered by the media" (which btw way to make your personal feelings seep into the investigation asshole. the media is slandering y'all bc y'all are incompetent pigs. like. sometimes I thought I was going too far with jeongdo's obsession with seongbin but this confirms it for me. he's making it personal. he's making it about himself) "I need to come up with something doesn't matter if I'm wrong" "you were scared of being just like your mother" idk felt so icky to me. literally how dare you talk about his mother like that. how dare you bring up his abuse and purposefully trigger him.

"uuuhh but investigation tactics" if purposefully triggering trauma in people is investigation tactics then they're are abusive end of story lmao fuck off. there's ways to interrogate people without traumatizing them.

anyway.

we know seongbin said "I don't think I would do that". this highly indicates he doesn't remember killing anyone.

God fucking dammit I can't write properly I'm just so disappointed. I hate this lmao

anyway wtf was I saying. yeah he doesn't remember much and so the pressure of a policeman saying "we know what happened even though you don't" can fr just. make seongbin accept those "memories" as the truth. jeongdo may be literally gaslighting seongbin into believing that he did it.

like. idk how relatable this is. but yk that feeling when you don't know if something that seemed to have happened in your childhood actually happened or if it was a dream? also sometimes when I'm asked to recall something I don't remember, often I'll think "I can imagine/see myself doing this" but I'll still not know for certain. does that make sense? now imagine this feeling while being under severe mental distress

what I mean is seongbin is not in the right state of mind to be able to say for certain that he's remembering things. also jeongdo kept pressing and triggering him of course he'll not be stable enough to think properly. his mom just died too and the pigs that tased him are shit talking her.

I'm seriously so upset I might cry. bashi I'm gonna grab your foot when you're asleep.

I'm also so pissed at jeongdo fr IDC anymore. fucking pig I hope he chokes on mud

everyone in this webtoon is an unreliable narrator. so I can safely say that no, we can't be sure those "memories" are even real they could just be jeongdo's re-imagining of the murder

I hope maybe Dr. ju intervenes somehow. as the psychiatrist I hope she can do something. isn't this a thing like in trials? where you can object bc they're inducing the person to think/answer in a specific way? maybe she'll intervene bc his testimony won't be reliable idk whatever

I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel satisfying. the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place but I keep thinking "this can't be it... it's too easy"

I can only hold on to the hope that I'm right on my meta analysis of the series as a whole and boy if I am right... oh boy...

but on the other hand I literally can't help but think that something's wrong. and idk maybe it's because I keep thinking there's No Way they'll go through this cliched overused and most of all offensive and ableist route. but what if they do? what then lol I'm seriously so sad

I can't even joke about how if there's a twist and it's not seongbin then I'll suck bashi so silly and sloppy like i feel defeated. they're torturing me they don't deserve my tornado blowjob... not now at least. even if bashi defeats the ableist allegations they won't defeat the psychological torturer ones 😔

to the one person who reads these. I'm so sorry this is so messy

[swugflower]

Fuuuuuuck I can’t do this anymore.

I’m losing it completely. I’m doing so unwell mentally and physically and I feel so completely alone.

I had a normal damn flu like two weeks or three ago and now I’m just completely exhausted still. It’s probably post/long covid. Also I have gagging fits like constantly. I’m not feeling sick but I just have to cough and gag and it’s exhausting and makes me sweaty and weak every time.

And I was at my doc twice in two weeks and last time they checked my heart and did my blood and then straight up threw me out of the practice and didn’t contact me anymore.

Now I have decided that I’m too exhausted to work and need to be written sick and called again and the lady told me something that wasn’t true (lady I’ve been a patience of the doc for like 10 years and before that I was by her brother and father, you work there for like 4 months and idc if I sound like a Karen it’s true and I’m too exhausted) and then told me I’m not an emergency and I can come in like November which,,,, okay cool. Guess I’ll die. But at least I’ll stick get written sick.

All that of course gave a hit to my already bad mental health.

I managed to dive head first into a depressive episode with a frankly disgusting amount of nihilism mixed into (ignoring all youe feelings for months by constantly saying to myself that I don’t matter and no one cares about my feelings does that, apperently)

And I can’t stomach my families Problems atm and there are lots of them!

My mom would have needed therapy all her life and is straight up refusing to do it. Now after the death of her mum it has gotten worse and with her coming move and the selling of granny’s house it has gotten way way worse and now her step mum and dad are also not doing well and she’s completely losing it.

And I can’t take it. It’s grinding me down.

And then on Friday on top of all that my therapist decided that to talk about THE ONE topic I don’t like talking about. There is really just ONE and she made me talk about it the whole session.

And then on Saturday my alcoholic dad decided to get so drunk that he can’t open the front door anymore and needed me to let him into the house.

And while all that I’m shaking and exhausted and gagging and my chest hurts and I can’t breath

I don’t fucking know anymore where my mental problems end and my health problems staet. It’s a ducking mess

And I’m ANGRY. I’m LIVID

I can’t talk to anyone or I’ll explode

And I feel so completely alone and don’t know what to do and I know that I’ll get through it cause I’ve done it before but MANNNNN

[chrisbangs]

.

might withdraw from this semester at the present... my parents friend told my parents there's this government job and she offered it to me or my sister and i happened to be there at that time and both my parents were saying i should take it / it's a good opportunity and that like i'd regret not going for it bc it's such a good job and its remote so i'd be able to stay home and not have to go out and downtown and how that's good since my health has kinda gotten bad recently..

and i was like... talking to my mom abt the job and . the thing idk.. its so frustrating to me bc 😓 i've been begging to drop out and saying how it makes me so soup of slide all to be in this major and how unhappy i am and that i don't even feel happy anymore at all and i can't handle this anymore and she kept telling me i was being dramatic and that i could finish it and i should finish it and she kept saying like "are you just never going to finish anything you start" like lol ok... and so all this time she's been so... against me leaving school but then ..?? 😞 the moment this job came up and i said "i'd probably have to leave school for at least a year to properly establish myself and etc etc..." and she was so up for it bc of the job.. like she was like.... so fine with it and it's just so funny like .

my mental health means nothing to them and my happiness fr means absolutely nothing . like my state of being . they just don't give a shit unless it makes them look bad / good idk... like ??? i get why they want me to take the job sure i want it too but... idk it just feels so unfair that now she's fine with me withdrawing from the semester / year simply bc . idk . it's a job . oh you work now so it's fine . it's not even smth i'd be good at lol and idk if they'll even want me for this stupid ass job man idk .!!! idk !!!! idc 😭 it's so frustrating... i just want to be taken seriously for my mental health and no one will and im just called lazy when i say no i literally am too anxious or i have adhd and i just fucking can't handle this much shit like ???? idk .

im just so miserable all the time and im so fucking unhappy in life . and nothing never . changes that.??? im always sad . im always tired . im always fucking fed up with life and people and i just don't fucking care abt anything ????? 😭 like im so fucking tired of living like this what's the fucking point in being alive when nothing matters to me ??? 😕 i literally get up every day for no fucking reason... why should i bother??? no one fucking takes me seriously and i have to beg to have anyone hear what i have to say..??? not to mention people just continue to .! make me feel like . im just . such a terrible awful person idk! whatever omg ... everything sucks and i wish i were dead blah blah blah . committing soup of slide

[fudgetunblr]

I’m rewatching Make it or break it because I feel like it. I took some notes rewatching the first episode, and although I probably won’t do this for the rest of them, here, have my list:

- Aaa remember when it was abc family and not freeform :’) yeah me too

- The music is so damn dramatic sjsjsjs, I love it.

- It’s my girl Payson Keeler !!!

- Ew Carter my enemy

- Not someone wanting Payson’s autograph sjsjsjs and she was like ????

- Everyone be training their whole life, except for Emily?? Genuinely wondering if this is a thing that could actually happen. Or like, has she actually trained her whole life? But not professionally?? Unclear, anyways.

- That intro coming back to me apparently.

- Emily: *is a child*

Lauren’s dad: ewww, she’s poor

- Lauren already hates everyone.

- “Drill it Payson”

- Ok wait, why do they establish Lauren having bulimia in the first episode and then not doing shit with it??? Messed up considering Kaylie’s future ED storyline.

- Kaylieee naurrr

- Lauren’s dad makes my skin crawl. The Tanners both suck uwu

- Summer, run.

- “My boyfriend gave it to me”

- Payson’s mom >

- Carter was one of Kaylie’s worst mistakes, like queen, you can do so much better than that guy, I promise queen.

- “Different dog, same poop.” We love Brain, idc

- “Man to man” Carter, sir, kindly, never speak again.

- Lauren’s outfit is so early 2010s.

- “Daddy got it for me.” We get it, you’re rich.

- Lauren Sizes ???

- Are they,,, high???

- Can’t pretend like Razor is cool, he just isn’t. Like he’s fine, but like,, yeah.

- “You rock, the shack” the laughter that left me was not me, it was some other being overtaking me. Very nervous laugh for that one.

- “Emo, do you like emo” not anymore sir, god. Don’t ruin emo culture for me.

- Lmao, not this Becca slander.

- Emily not having friends :’’(

- The gasps when Lauren fell I- ,,, tepid applause

- “Drill it Emily.”

- Lauren literally attempting murder. No seriously, what is Emily had died Lauren you dick.

- Mr. Tanner is literally my enemy.

- “I don’t want to go to the hospital. I wanna go to nationals.”

- Fucked up to think that Emily did in fact not become an olympian.

- Not Marty just letting her do it. “I can’t endorse this.” Then at least pretend to try and stop her.

- Everyone standing in sync, crying-

- Payson supporting Emily <3

- Lauren dropping secrets left and right, stop that shit. And Emily having her back <3

- “I guess it’s us three.”

- Hold me back before I punch Carter

- EVIL EVIL EVIL - me talking about Mr. Tanner. He hired a PI to as Marty put it, “Trail a little girl” like yikes, you creep.

- “Marty would never leave us” a clown.

- Not Becca going to nationals now jsjsj

- Steve Tanner, Steve, don’t ruin that name

- Payson snapping, as she should.

- Fuck off Lauren. Not her turning this on Emily.

- Patiently waiting for Sahsa though.

And that’s it for the first episode.

[mushroom-ooooooooooooooo]

Random life shit below the cut?? Yujhhhh a vent, ig?? Idk. Im just heated and on my period. I don't think anyones gonna see this 🧍‍♂️

Okay. So. Uhm. Hi.

Izzy here. I'm always here. I'm the only one running this account 🧍‍♂️.

So. School. Friendship drama. Health issues?? Damn. The holy grail.

Anyways. I have this one friend named Jackson (fake name). Jackson is basically kind of the definition of an only child except his mom is like,,,kinda crazy. And in February he had a birthday party at the mall. He invited EIGHT-TEEN PEOPLE?!#,@?#, and only ten of us (including him) show up. I had to give him a ride because he lives across the street from me and his mom "didn't feel like driving". I hate that woman.

I didn't want to go to the damn thing in the first place. I had UIL literally 2 days before the birthday thing and I had to stay home that friday. And I only had $7 left for money.

He wanted to see a movie, buy stuff at the mall, buy food at the mall, ect.ect. i have no problem with that, but my ass did not want to be there, and having no money didn't help either.

We were all sitting in the loud foodcourt of the mall. It was loud. People were chattering loudly without a care in the damn world. The sun was in my eyes. It was hot in the food court. I was already irritated that day, and being at the mall did not help. And having to be there because my parents and I took Jackson didn't help either.

So everyone gets their food and whatnot. Blah blah blah. Everyone has stuff but me. That's normal. Im used to that. Idc.

And then after they eat, people pair off. Without letting me know?? Just assuming I'm going to watch their stuff?? At least one of the others there asked, and I was like yeah sure wtv. Jackson doesn't ask, just assumes, and leaves his gifts n shit with me?? Like dude...ask first.

Jackson and two other people go off for a while, and then he comes back and he was going to leave again before I told him to take his gift bags. And then other people leave.

And then the last 3 people leave me alone at the table and I have a minor panic attack. Wasn't too bad. I was mostly just crying. (I have issues about being forgotten dw) yeah.

NO ONE TOLD ME WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

Literally no one. So I was just sitting in the middle of a food court by myself crying and then I get a call from my dad asking if I wanna sit with them (my parents) and I sit with them and apparently they saw the whole thing.

And then a few minutes later, Jackson asks if we can put his stuff in the car, but my mom (one of few based moments) tells him that I'm (me, Izzy) wasn't feeling well and that I needed to go home. Which was true. I wasn't feeling well at all. I was literally still recovering from doing Set Crew for one-act play that thursday. Uil is intensive.

So then he's like yea i understand i hope you feel better blah blah blah.

So then we start to leave and my mom was like do you wanna see any shops (bc i wasn't able to go into any shops or buy anything) so we look for hot topic but we couldn't find it so we leave. End of story, right? Nope.

Apparently, after that, Jackson was MIA for a while?? And he wanted to see a movie that was later, and he wanted our other friends to wait for him for TWO HOURS in a shop. And according to him everyone had been calling the wrong number for him?? But like,,,they'd also been calling him on Instagram and it was a whole ass trainwreck.

He did get home, by the way!! One of his other friends took him home.

I go to school that next monday and our friend Tyler (close, but fake name) wasn't talking to jackson anymore. And neither were most of the rest of the group. Jackson and Tyler basically bring ME into this whole thing, even though Drama literally stresses me out so badly, and I had UIL that next Wednesday 🧍‍♂️. So im like yall are fucking up my energy (because they were. They were fucking my peaceful, chill energy) and Jackson is like sorey if im bringing you into this 🥺.

AND THEN THE NEXT DAY HE TELLS ME TO REMIND HIM TO EITHER NOT HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARRY OR NOT INVITE PEOPLE WHO HOLD GRUDGES??? like??? Dude??? Thats what you're doing right now?? And bringing me into this before competiton?? When we literally have so much to do???

Might I add, that I was staying after school until almost 7pm during this?? I would get to school at 6:40am, school gets out at 2:30, and rehearsals were supposed to be until 6. I was consistently spending more time at school than Jackson, not complaining about it, not complaining about my personal life, being sleep deprived and absolutely dead, just for his ass to bring me into petty drama that has almost nothing to do with me.

And Jackson complains so fucking much. Like dudeee shut the fuuuuck uppp.

I'm sorry if i sound so rude rn, but im done with people. I would be homeschooled again if I didn't love theater so much.

Hes just so irritating. And he doesn't respect peoples boundaries and for me thats a big ass problem. I can't be around people who won't respect boundaries.

When we were doing our winter show, I was painting some props and Jackson not only fucks with me while im painting with wet paint on something that needs to look at least a little nice, but he does FOUR MORE TIMES.

It took me brandishing a wet paintbrush at him to get him to stop. And he's constantly touching me!!! And he was doing that there too!!!

And if there is one thing ANYONE knows about me, it is that I do not like being touched AT ALL unless your name is Jamie/willowhirl. Not even my mom randomly touches me because she knows how much it bothers it. And I've barely known Jackson. I've only known him since the very last day of our freshman year. Which was last year.

And I was already irritated with him because the boy could not do anything neatly to save his life. Our tech director told us to paint up and down and his dumbass was painting left to right, so I had to go back and fix his mistakes while he just goofs off playing cookie run or genshin or whatever.

Im sorry, but my 7 year old cousin even understands boundaries and rules. And Jackson just doesnt. And it drives me insane.

I know he's okay with touch, so on his birthday at school I told him happy birthday and shook his shoulders a little. I wasn't rough with him.

He did that to me on my birthday and I could feel my brain rattle a little. I think he gave me a shaken syndrome or something. Idfk. But I feel like I shoulf also mention that jackson is 6'8. Im 5'10. He's almost a whole foot taller than me. And he was shaking me like a damn bag of popcorn. When he knows I dont like being touched. When he knows I especially don't like being shaken. And when he knows my boundaries.

I respect his boundaries, but he doesn't respect mine, and that irritates me so much.

I even blocked him on here because he was complaining about seeing all of my Ghost reblogs. (It's almost as if im in a fandom. Crazy concept, ik) but he wasn't following anyone else but me and like...one other person. And he wasn't following tags either??

Like...don't complain about me using my tumblr the way I like to use it if you aren't using it how its supposed to be used at all.

Idk im just upset and im not in therapy anymore but oversharing to strangers on the internet is the best therapy, right???

[loudinmyhead]

Hi. I’ve had a horrible day and I needed to share what was bothering me, well what has been bothering me for 12 years. You don’t have to respond but idk, you can post this idc anymore

I don’t know how to get away, my whole family treats me like dirt and it’s been this way for 12 years, (im 16), and they just won’t stop. My mom and dad hate that I’m lesbian, they constantly make comments saying “oh but we’re not sure on the liking girls stuff” and I tell them that it’s not ok but they don’t care, they yell at me for wanting anything rainbow colored when I don’t even get rainbow colored things cause im gay, they won’t let my brother know about anything and he’s being taught that being homo isnt ok because we never talk about it. My mom likes to point out every single thing wrong with my appearance and threaten to take away things and in the case of the topic being my hair, she threatens to shave it all off while im sleeping (she isn’t joking) I just started school back up last week and everything I had last year broke over the summer, im under constant pressure from my parents to make them proud, my dad tells me it’s irrational to fear men when no it’s not, im terrified of men, and women, people in general, I don’t belong in society at all, Im touch starved and I want a hug so damn bad but I can’t cause my body jerks away from people, my head constantly tells me im good enough and im doing good and then everyone else tells me the exact opposite. My mom and dad leave my sister (12) and my brother (8) for me to take care of every day and they don’t give a damn about me, they don’t listen to me at all. And when I start to yell IM the one who gets in trouble. I can’t eat, I’ve lost my ability to hold food, I’m not hungry ever, good makes me sick. I can’t sleep or have an hour at peace, my thoughts either run fast or empty. i deeply want to be gone but i can’t leave my siblings, no matter how horrible they treat me they are still my kids, my sister even calls me her second mom. I had no childhood, i had to grow up fast in order to not be left behind, i never got to have Barbie dolls and watch Disney channel, i was always alone and i fake a smile everywhere i go, i want to drown and just not exist. No one will ever love me as much as I love them and i know that, but it’s hard knowing no one cares about me at all. I want a hug. I really really really just want to lay down and cry, I only want a hug. All I ask is that my parents some some love at least. Maybe just a little attention. I need a hug, please.

I’m so sorry, anon. You’re safe here <3 remember that family isn’t always blood, and one day you will have the freedom to find your own - one that will never make you feel shame for being LGBTQ+ I’m truly sorry you’ve had to deal with so much already. You’re still a kid tho, it’s not too late to enjoy the rest of your teenage years. I know that probably feels impossible given the current circumstances, but promise you’ll stick around, ok? Not to be cliché, but things WILL get better in so many ways you can’t imagine. Life is full of surprises and you’ll find joy again. You are valid and safe!

#anon #vent #inboxopen #trauma

[lenabenaacena]

ykw i think i feel better tbh like. i had to take my time to really feel it out and i saw her car again today. it reminded me i had a choice to not go in again and fuck up whag i worked up so much to go. i’ve been studying so hard now and playing guitar for fun. it’s not everything but it feels like something for now. also went to the gym today. keeping myself busy is nice but until it comes to nught in the weekends then idk. it’s different i’m different.

i feel like i have to keep up w others and do this like they want me to. someone reminded me i shouldn’t have to. they’re so right really. i realllg told someone my reasons for moving back to my parents house. to be completely sober. to be closer to my family i miss them so much and to get away from this. i feel like i’ve really grown out of it. i don’t wanna feel like my brother and attach to old friends and old life to feel something. i see him and i feel so bad cause i know he can do better if he allows himself to. maybe i’ll talk to him on this trip soon about this if i can. maybe i can convince him to do better hopefully. if i can’t idk who will. my family needs me most now tho. so much happening but i can’t help anymore for almost two years now. i feel so bad when my grandma told me she was 70 this year i was like fuck bro like goes so fast cause i’m thinking she’s still 50 at least. i was 3 when she was 50 like fuck bro. i wanna spend so much time w her as much as i can in the lifetime i have with her idc about anything else here now. i wanna spend time w my mom and let her know i care about her. i wanna spend time w my siblings and let them know i’ll hear them for anything. i prolly won’t be good but i’ll try so hard for them and eventually maybe for friends that i should really keep in touch with like M and S. i care so much and i don’t know how to express it at all. i wanna express it and i feel like this way i can express it. i wish i had my family here or i should’ve moved w them this year but i had some thing to really take care of.

like a binge rn. i’m so drunk and high now writing this and it feels so crazy now. i’m literally outside my apegsmft now just writing this. idk i’m sorry for that last work if u can’t figure it out it’s apartment i think. 1:51 am i’m still thinking about what was last weekend a few hours before this. i had the offer to go in and have the chance to see her again after that night but i couldn’t. i respected her wishes to never contact her again. she wanted that closure and she got it.

although that wasn’t really closure. i’m saying we really never talked about anything other than how much her old friend wasn’t a good friend. nothing i could’ve done at this point it had nothing to do with me now. she said why i didn’t tell her i told her i did tell her but she didn’t care. she started crying and she asked why and i realized that’s when she just wanted to hear when she wanted to hear. i told her she would’nt have listened anyways. it didn’t matter. what information would’ve changed that. she knew at the begginging of our relationship i didn’t like her friend after what she did. she still kept being friends what was i gonna say 5 years later after gonna change fr. she said she wanted me to say nothing i said nothing. she yelled why i didn’t say nothing then she said she’s talking to a brick wall. whatever i said wasn’t gonna heal her hurt. i tried to leave so bad. i had my fiend in the car thinking it was gonna be quick. no 2 hours later i’m with her still.

anyways she kept saying shit i wanted to hear 3 year ago when she broke up with me. honestly she broke up w me and tried to so long after her dad died. after she met the girl she cheated on me w emotionally it was just downhill after. she connected w someone else and it’s cool you know i couldn’t be there for her i didn’t know her pain. she found someone else she could understand her pain. but at the same time why would she cheat on the person she’s left me for ?

she said she wanted closure and that we never talked about what really happened after we ended it but at the same time why did we did we need to? she moved on obviously in that time and i had to as wellll. but for her to cheat on the person she left me for is crazy realllu.

i know she’s not happy at all i do feel bad for her. like she said she doesn’t have any friends but just work friends and it’s like fuck. i do wanna reach out to her and let her know i’ll always be here for her as a friend if she needs to talk but my last email i sent listed that. well said if she needed closure then i’ll be here. i was drunk when i sent it tbh or recovering drunk. idk i had my friend that was w my the whole time and it felt right bc she salad it was. said. whatever. then i couldn’t sleep that night cause i felt somebbtinf wasn’t right. i checked mg emails and i saw she she replied. i was like wow after all of that you said you said to never contact you again. but you never said anything was a mistake or anything so you wanted to do what you did don’t blame anytning kn you being drunk yk. cause after a while i knew you weren’t drunk anymore. you saw my friend that helped us w our problems and officially was sobered up. telling me that you would believe me if the sky was falling bc you loved me so much was insane. telling me you loved me the whole night as insane. telling me i was the best thing in your life was insane. telling me everything i wanted to hear 3 year ago is insane.

i didn’t feel anything anymore. all the things i felt in the moment was just list and nostalgia. wanted to give her my number and telling her i’ll email hee or something. what’s crazy is that she mentioned a girl i was sleeping w. i kept it so low key but she had mentioned the name A. i was like what the fuck how did you know but she changed the subject realt quick. she kept trying to fuck me thst whole night. i kept trying to stop i didn’t feel right doing it rwhen she was going home to a whole different person. even then i didn’t feel like a good person doing that. even i’m my soul i knew i shouldn’t have but i did anyways because she kept saying i was playing her by doing this and she eventually got so aggressive with trying to fuck me. idk man if was a good reminder of why we should not be together or why i should not see her after that anymore even though how much i want to. life is hard bro. you just gotta move on. from everything. i know life is so hard for her and for her whole family. idk how hard it is now but i’m it’s hard. i wish i could help her fr in any way possible. i loved her so much before and i always will. maybe not in the same way but in a way that’s comfortable with both of us.

everything we used to be is nothing more. until she realizes what had really happened. until she sits down and just cries so hard to realize why it didn’t really work out. she thinks why we didn’t work out was bc i stopped trying. i agree with her that’s one reason why i stopped trying. but there was so many other reasons like why she always wanted to fight me everything she got drunk. or when she always accuses me of cheating after that one accusation that i proves to be wrong. it was constant every time and there was nothing to do anymore until she realizes what she did wrong. i realized what is did wrong in that relationship. i told her i thought about it a lot. obviously i had to in order to be better.

i’m drunk i’m tiedd good night