#ideally i'd be done writing it in a week

[airenyah]

i keep seeing gifs from our dining table on my dash bur unfortunately my brain refuses to let me watch anything at all that isn't a gmmtv series until i've finished writing my thesis

[tardis--dreams]

Shocking: student with steadily declining physical and mental health who swore that this semester would be different and they would keep on top of things, is currently behind on all their work and assignments and is considering dropping out of university just as it was the case in all previous semesters

[mimicteruyo]

Step 1: Re-establish writing routine — SUCCESS!

Step 2: Alter writing routine so that you don’t feel compelled to only start writing when you should be getting ready for bed — WIP!

[total-serene560]

O-kay time to get back to writing draft 3 of ch.4 now

[w2soneshots]

could you do something like the 24hr karting race and shes a driver for senor frogs, she finishes her stint and then like the new video they couldnt find the bed in the rv or whatever so they go into quadrants and theres only one bed and both her and harry need sleep si they have to share?? sorry im so bad at explaining

We’ll have to share -W2S

words: 1.5k+

warnings: unestablished relationship, spooning.

summary: while filming the annual señor frogs 24 hour go cart race you and Harry end up having to share a bed, but nether of you mind since your both majorly crushing on the other.

notes: hello love!🤗 I decided to write this asap even though I have so many requests but I wanted to get this out before everyone gets over the señor frogs high (If you get what I’m saying?). Anyways, enjoy!!💓🏎️

Today I'm driving for señor frogs in the annual twenty four hour go cart race. I woke up early this morning, took a quick shower, got ready, packed a small bag and then set off. It took almost two hours to get to Buckmoore Park and I arrived just after ten, ready for the practice that starts at ten thirty.

I've know the boys for years and are good friends with them all. After they dropped Callux from the team they asked if I would participate this year and after seeing how fun it looked last year I couldn't say no. I've done lots of practice in the last few weeks and I'm actually pretty good. I used to race with my friends for fun when I was younger but that's about all the experience I've had.

When I arrived I parked my car then signed in at the front desk. "Hey! You're here!" Chip's voice echoed through the reception. A smile spread across my face. We shared a quick hug then he walked me to our green room.

Harry, Chris, Will and Freezy stood talking. They turned to me as we entered. "Hi guys!" I set my bag down. I glanced at Harry, he smiled softly at me. They all said their "hello's" then we started talking about the plan for the twenty four hours.

Unfortunately the weather forecast wasn't ideal since it was supposed to rain for almost the entire time but that made it more interesting and fun to watch.

We sent Chip and Plum out for the practice and once that was done it was time for the race to begin. We were starting off with Chris. After getting into our suits all of us walked out onto the track. I pulled mine down so that it rested at my waist and I wore a comfortable black tank top underneath.

Once we'd finished doing some interviews the group headed back upstairs onto the balcony to watch as the race began. As soon as the flag was waved Chris raced over to the cart, accidentally kicking another racer on the way. Harry pushed the cart to give him a boost then he drove swiftly off, along with everyone else.

When twelve am hit it was finally my turn. I suited up and grabbed my helmet. I stepped outside onto the deck, Harry just behind me (who'd already done his first stint, just before Plum went out). "Jesus Christ it's hammering it down." I looked out at the soaked and slippery track. He placed his hands on my shoulder, squeezing. "You'll be fine," he reassured me.

I quickly walked down the stairs, taking a deep breath when I got to the bottom. I looked back up at Harry. He put his two thumbs up. I smiled softly, nodding. "I can do this. Let's hope I don't completely embarrass myself." I thought.

"Nervous?" The camera man asked as I waited. "To be honest I'm shitting myself," I replied with a shaky laugh. Plum pulled in and immediately jumped out, he gave me a quick wave as I passed him. I adjusted the seat insert, got in and then drove off.

As soon as I set off I heard Freezy in the earpiece. He was talking about what place I was and how carful I needed to be on the turns. I could barely concentrate since I was focusing on not spinning out and it didn't help that I couldn't really see out of my visor.

Around an hour in I'd gotten used to it and was now much calmer. I hadn't heard anything through the communications for a while then I suddenly heard Harry's voice. He told me that Freezy had gone for a snooze and that he was replacing him.

"That was really good, one minute nine seconds. Try and keep up that time," he said as I finished another lap. The rain was starting to pick up. "It's so fucking slippy!" I felt as though I wasn't in control, the wheels were spinning everywhere. I just desperately didn't want to spin out and let the boys down.

When I was finally told to come in I felt so relieved. I had no idea what place we were or how I'd done. I practically stumbled out, my legs and bum asleep from sitting in the same position for two hours. I pulled my helmet off as I passed Chip.

When I got to the boys I was met with what seemed to be happy faces. "We're fucking second place in class!" Freezy patted my back excitedly. Harry smiled wildly at me. "I told you you'd be fine." I smiled back at him, relieved that I hadn't fucked everything up.

I was completely soaked so I went to get changed into some comfy clothes that I could sleep in. Plum, Will and Chris had already gone to bed and me and Harry were going to do the same as it was now around two in the morning.

We walked together to quadrants bus, since there wasn't a proper bed in the one Chip had rented and they'd kindly said we could sleep in there's. When we got inside, out of the rain we quietly walked down the hall. I turned to look at him, my eyes slightly wider than a minute ago. "Is there only one bed left?"

"Shit. I think so," he replied before looking around to check again. "What are we gonna do?" I whispered. "Uh- you can have it." My brows knitted together. "No, don't be daft. They're pretty big... we could share?" I was really hoping I hadn't just embarrassed myself.

Harry's face turned red, though I couldn't really tell due to the dim lights. "Uh- uhm- yeah. Okay," he stuttered. I smiled slightly. "Come on then. I'm exhausted."

He got in first. It was slightly awkward since the last bed was at the bottom and practically on the floor. I slid in after, both now on our sides, my back facing his front. Turns out they were smaller than they looked.

Evidently Harry didn't know what to do with his hands, they were sort of hovering over my side. I smirked to myself then grabbed his hand, placing it around me my waist. I shuffled into him comfortably. I felt him physically relax. "You sure this is okay?" He asked quietly. "I'm sure."

I've had a massive crush on Harry since a few months ago when we spent the entire night together at a party nether of us wanted to be at. I laughed more than I had in a while that night and I really enjoyed spending time with him.

I was woken up a few hours later by Chip giggling. My eyes fluttered open and a small tired groan escaped from my lips. "You alright there love? Comfy?" He chuckled quietly, as people were still asleep. I was confused then I realised I was still pressed up against Harry.

Harry shuffled behind me, mumbling something and then shooting up. A loud bang was heard as he whacked his head on the roof of the bed. "Ow." He fell back onto the pillow and brought his hand up to rub his head. Chip laughed even more.

We got out and stood up. I sighed before glancing at Harry. His hand rubbed at the back of his neck, he looked slightly uncomfortable. Chip continued to tease us as we walked back to the green room and he immediately told Freezy and Chris that he'd found us asleep together.

"I knew it! You like each other!" Freezy exclaimed, standing up. My eyes widened. "Uh-" "you guessed it," Harry replied, interrupting me. My head snapped over to him. "You like me?" I blurted out. The room fell silent. "Uhm- yeah- yeah I think I do." My face softened. Freezy chuckled with a smirk.

It turns out they wanted Harry to get back in the cart once again, which he wasn't very happy about. But he ended up agreeing and he got back into his suit. I stood next to him on the balcony, both of us leaning our forearms on the barrier as we waited for the signal that it was his turn to go out.

"I like you too. Just so you know." I said, not taking my eyes off the track. "You do?" He turned to me, surprise evident on his face. I looked at him sincerely. "Mhm, ever since that party last month." A smile graced his lips. "So... did you wanna go for lunch or something after this?" He asked. "Are you asking me on a date Mr Lewis?" I teased. He chuckled. I gently nudged his side with my elbow. "I'd really like that."

"Harry! Time to go!" Chip shouted. I glanced at Chip then looked up at Harry, pushing onto my tiptoes and placing a quick kiss on his cheek. "Good luck!" I whispered. He smirked. "I'll see you in a bit." I nodded before patting his chest.

I watched as he quickly walked down the stairs then I turned to go back inside. I stopped as I noticed Freezy through the window. He raised his eyebrows with a mischievous look on his face. I groaned but I didn't really mind that he'd seen mine and Harry's encounter, all I could think about was the date I was going on in a few hours.

[dduane]

My very small high school - graduation class of 12 people - had an equally small library and a librarian with a love of books inversely proportional to everything else's size. By ninth grade I had long since exhausted the library's wealth of books, and the librarian had taken to going to the big city library every couple of weeks and checking books out for me that she thought I'd like.

One of those books was Wizard's Dilemma, newly out in hardcover.

I was immediately enraptured, and almost as immediately devastated, as I devoured that book in a day and then had to go have a long cry. I had lost my mom to an accidental drug overdose when I was ten. I knew how Nita and Dairine felt. I would have done anything to save my mom too.

I read every other book in the series that was out at the time. I remember how especially cathartic it was for me to read about happy and functional families. The line in Deep Wizardry, "Don't you understand? There are some things more important than doing what you tell me!" and that being RESPECTED by Nita's dad was especially powerful. The day I read that I started a list, hidden in the middle of an old social studies notebook, called Things I Will Not Do When I Have a Kid, and the first thing on that list was "I will not demand unquestioning obedience," as my abusive parents did.

As an adult, I created a personal Code of Conduct that was heavily patterned after the Wizard's Oath: Take responsibility. Do no harm (as much as possible.) Encourage growth in self and others.

I reread the series regularly for comfort. A Wizard Alone is my all time favorite. (NME, thank you for the revisions you did.) It's my little pillow fort in book form. And I'm eternally grateful to you and my high school librarian for bringing that to me.

In gratitude and appreciation, I recommend it and your other works every chance I get. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You're very, very welcome. (And I'm very glad the Abroad [ARGH, MISTYPE, SORRY...] Alone revisions worked for you. They plainly needed doing, so I did them.)

You probably wouldn't be surprised to find that the issue of family relationships is always on my mind in the YW series (and in the Middle Kingdoms books too, in different ways). My early family life wasn't truly awful, but it wasn't anything like ideal, either. There was routine emotional (and occasional physical) abuse on my father's part, starting from a very early age; and a mother who was experiencing the same kind of thing, and who was punished for pushing back against it or trying to defend me.

So good parenting in the series, and participation in a family where that's going on, is a constant concern. By the time I'd started writing about families, I'd already been looking around me for a good while at people I knew who'd seemed to be getting it right with their own families. And I always kept in mind, during these contemplations, the Tolstoyan concept that "all good families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

By and large I found Tolstoy to be right on this—which probably isn't much of a surprise. But I privately often thought that more could be said about the subject, so I spent some time trying to get a sense of what routinely seemed to underlie the goodness. And respect—especially toward children who don't yet have much power in the world—seemed to be a very common ingredient.

Therefore, if that's perceptible in what you've seen in the YW families, then my job is getting done. :) Thanks for letting me know.

[copperbadge]

Lately, it's felt like every time I've started to work on writing, I'll just be getting into the rhythm of it when I get interrupted, either by work or the cats or because the time I'd booked in the library study room is up (you can only do two hours at a time, and only four hours a week total). It was getting to the point where I kept re-reading the same chapter or so of previous work but never managing to add to it.

So I tried an experiment this past weekend -- I found a really cheap rate on a local hotel room, and on Friday I took an overnight bag and a very old laptop with limited processing power and checked into a room about a mile from home for a quasi "staycation". I unpacked and had a quiet night on Friday, as prelude to working Saturday-Sunday. The idea was to write uninterrupted by other people, pets, the presence of all my Stuff around me at home, et cetera.

I had snacks but I also bought meals out, which was nice; I don't often order in or buy out when I'm at home. The way I set up was that I would do fifty minutes of writing with do-not-disturb engaged on my phone and then ten minutes of checking email, texts, etc. since often what pulls me out of writing is a text or an email that needs answering, or the anxiety that I'm missing one that would. If I set it so that every hour I check, well, nobody's going to die if something doesn't get answered in an hour, so the anxiety isn't there, and neither is the distraction. (I found a nice app for this, review later depending on how functional it continues to be for me, but it's a like $4 app called Forest.)

It worked pretty well -- writing for an uninterrupted hour, as long as I know what I'm working on, is very functional for me. I average about two thousand words, that way, though there is a limit to the number of hours I can put in. I ended up doing two hours in the morning and one hour in the afternoon, then switched from fiction writing to clearing out my tumblr drafts and some correspondence for the fourth hour. So it went something like

Go out and get breakfast, bring back and eat in room

Change into lounging clothes and do two one-hour sessions

Go out and get lunch, eat lunch out

Bit of a rest break back in the room

Two one-hour sessions, one of writing; when tired, switch to something that requires less creativity

Go out and get dinner, bring back and eat in room

And then in the evening the plan was to watch movies or catch up on reading, but I ended up being mentally weary, so instead I did some simple tarot reading. It was less divination or even meditation than just messing around, keeping the creativity stimulated; I did a couple of Creative Writing spreads, some very brief divination spreads (I nicked a nice three-card spread here that I mentally call He To Hecuba, and just used it in general rather than for a specific question) and then invented a spread when I was starting to get irritated that the same like, five cards kept coming up, more on this in its own post.

Sunday I did one more writing session but it was less successful, I think partly because what I was writing required a lot of research and partly because the previous day I'd dumped eight thousand words into the file. (Research took longer because I brought the most garbage laptop known to man, and the browsers crash if you try to open Google Maps, but in other ways it was ideal since there wasn't much I could do on it other than write.) But I had a good breakfast, got some rest, packed up easily enough, and headed home just ahead of the rain storm.

I don't think it's something I'll be able to do in that format especially often, since the deal I got on the hotel was an anomaly and Chicago lodging, even just AirBNB stuff, is stupid expensive. But in addition to helping get some work done it was a nice break, so I'm going to look into ways I could swing it on a perhaps monthly basis, or some other way to cheaply spend an entire day alone with decent access to a bathroom/snacks and a way to come and go easily. I've looked into coworking spaces before but they tend to be prohibitively expensive and don't really have the setup I'd prefer; there's a hostel on the north side with private rooms that I might try out but it doesn't seem significantly cheaper than a hotel. I might just have to pick one weekend a month and watch last-minute hotel price cuts where they simply want to fill a room for a day or two.

Anyway, functionally I wrote almost a fifth of a novel this weekend, and one that I wasn't feeling super on fire about; I'm feeling much better about it now that I've got some established plot going and I feel like I "know" the newer characters a bit better. (Also I'm enjoying writing Simon as someone who is absolutely entranced by his love interest and clueless that what he's feeling isn't mild antipathy because they met while fighting over ricotta.) So it was a big help, although if I were to put a budget line item in the Extribulum Press ledger for "writing staycation" it would wipe out my royalties surplus very quickly.

[orphicrose]

The co-host (Alastor x FemReader) V

< >

Summary: You are Alastors Co host in life, perhaps more. But are separated by a sudden death. When you are finally reunited in the under world, it is up to Alastor to figure out why you don’t remember him.

@cannibalcoyote @kahlan170 @sugxryratz

_______________𖤐

It seemed like the broadcasts had ended their torment over the pentagram. Remaining completely silent for almost a week now. Y/n had noticed this too, thinking that maybe he was being genuine. They had kept their meetups public, for her safety and peace of mind. Mainly at coffee shops around her warehouse. They adventured a little further today, to cannibal town. Only agreeing because it was nearby to a place she had to meet her boss that day. 

"So, your boss is quite a well known sin?" He asked, lifting his dark coffee to his lips and bowing the steam off the surface. She nodded, sipping at hers. "How did that come about?" 

She shrugged in return "Guess I accidentally sold my soul" She said, sarcasm clawing at her tone. He hummed, unsatisfied with his answer. "Do you like your job?" He was grasping at straws now. The question tickled her, unable to contain her laughter. 

"Do i come across as a particularly content individual?" She chuckled. Wiping an invisible tear from her eye. "I work against my will. If it was up to me I'd... I don't know, write. Or broadcast the news." He saw a light in her, like the light he saw all those years ago. She is still in there. 

She looked down at her watch, gasping and standing abruptly. His ears twitched as the chair screeched backwards against the concrete., and looked at her waiting for an answer to the deviant behavior. "I was supposed to meet him at the abandoned office block in five minutes" She struggles to put her coat on, one of the arms of it being inside out. He watched her struggle, amused, leaning on his hands. "What you looking at?" she huffs. 

"Need a little assistance?" 

"I can put a coat on!" She bites back. He shrugs, clicking his fingers and dragging both of them into their shadows on the ground. Reappearing outside the abandoned building. "I could have done that" Y/n rolls her eyes, shoving the rest of her arm into the sleeve. 

"I'm aware, but I want to see this oh so powerful being" He adjusted the tie atop his ironed suit. "How do I look?"

She turns to look at him, stress showing in the veins on their forehead. "You're not coming to a meeting with me. If you want me to trust you, leave. Please" Her face softened to a more desperate pleading expression. Making him submissive to her, and agreeing. "I will wait out here for you, darling" He smiled, receiving a smile back as she begins moving towards the door with nothing more to say. 

Satan enjoyed quieter areas, giving him more space to think. Less people to deal with was an ideal world for him. He went to seat himself on an old chair, before it gave out. Nearly ending with him on the floor. Glad no one was there to see that, he dusted himself off and resorted to leaning on his staff instead. The door creaked open before him, dust circulating the room like air flow.

"You're on time. Interesting..." His voice rumbled through the room, stirring old dirt, making the ceiling drop old paint onto the floor. She shut the door behind her, not moving an inch towards him. "Your numbers dropped for a while. I see they are being picked back up. You may have just saved your soul"

"What soul" She mumbled under her breath "What?" "Nothing!"

He stood up straight, adjusting his posture, and striding towards the demon. "Don't let it happen again" His presence hovered above her, eyes scared to be taken off his. "I can't replace you as easily as every other soul, but that doesn't mean that i won't" A hand fell to her chin, his calloused fingers pulling at her face to move closer to him.

Just outside the room stood Alastor. Listening in, It might be important, he thought. 

"Don't let me down, or I'll remind you of all the reasons of why you wiped your own memory" His lips spoke next to her ear, finishing his sentence with a hollow laugh. "I will be back in a month" and with that, his body melted away to the bone until there was nothing left. He had left her in the discomfort of her own skin, alone, almost fragile. She felt as if she could follow him into the ground and flow away forever. But that wasn't the case. Whatever she had forgotten was obviously bad, since she erased her own memory. So the last thing she wanted was to be haunted by them all over again. 

Alastor, on the other side of the wall, struggled to maintain a smile. Wide eyes like he had been stabbed in the back multiple times. She erased her own memory? Of him? Perhaps she found out what he was and couldn't bare the thought of seeing him again. His heart ached. 

"Alastor" A startled voice came from the door frame "I thought you said you'd stay outside" Y/n sounded almost angry, too exhausted to portray any emotion other than fatigue. He stared at her blanky, still showing a face of hurt. His smile wanting to drop, but looking at if there was rope physically holding it up. 

"I'm... sorry" He mumbled, static dropping from his voice completely. "I will see you some other time."

He vanished. Leaving her, once again, alone. Truly alone this time. "Alastor?" Y/n questioned. Genuinely calling out for him. What did he hear that upset him that much. He looked hurt. She never thought she'd see that emotion in his eyes before. 

Days passed, no site of him. She had seen him everyday for weeks now. A few days, she even stayed out late in sketchy alley ways. Hoping he might show to scare her. She missed him, but she wouldn't admit it. She even thought she saw him in the corner of her eye on countless occasions. Some part of her was screaming to trust him, and the overlord in her was telling her to keep a look out. 

He will show up eventually, she thought, he's just busy with cannibal stuff. 

In a glaring radio tower on the other side of the pentagram, Alastor stared at the rotting city below him. Feet kicked up on the sound board in front of him, a coffee in his hands, pondering. He convinced himself that he should stay away, but he missed y/n oh so much. It was difficult. He had sent his shadow to watch over her, make sure no one was giving her any grief. 

"So, is this your murder chamber?" That familiar voice came from behind him, sounding very concerned. He almost spun off his chair, whipping his head to see her. 

"How did you find me?"

"I wish i could say it was my amazing detective skills, but i had help" She shrugged, looking at the moving shadow that was connected at his feet once more, giving his owner a sheepish grin. Alastor tutted, shaking his head. "I wanted to know why you ran away? I haven't seen you in days"

He bit his tongue, struggling to think of the right thing to say.

"My apologies, Miss l/n" He started off.  "I have very conflicted feelings, i suppose. I guess you could say that... I'm worried that who I was in life scared off someone very dear to me." He tried to laugh, but it turned into more of a whimper of distress. 

She stood awkwardly with hands behind their back for a second, but as he spoke, y/n found themselves moving closer to him. Looking at him with sad eyes. "Did something I say-"

"I just had a moment, darling, I'm fine." He cut her off, exaggerating his smile to sway her questions. He turned in his seat, facing the large window overlooking hell. 

"If they truly loved you..." Y/n moved closer, standing just behind his seat. "I'm sure they could get over it. No one is perfect" her hand creeped onto his shoulder, sharing the same view with him. 

"You think so?" His heart dropped for a second, as if she was confessing her love for him. He could only dream that was the case. 

"I do"

"Thank you, Y/n"

[taylor-titmouse]

2023 Book Retrospective

it's pretty much the end of the year, and i've never done this before, but i wanted to take a look at what i managed to do in 2023 and share some of my thoughts on it! i published five novellas this year (though i didn't actually write one of them) plus the public release of the demo and first huge update to You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain. that's a lot!

so let's dig into all that. this will contain some spoilers for the books, because it's hard to talk about them without talking about what's in 'em, so maybe check out my itchio first and grab anything you missed! (but also.... perhaps wait until this weekend before you buy anything. shh.)

You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain, released in March

TECHNICALLY, the demo was finished and available on patreon around the end of last year, and didn't become public until I'd finished the garden update, which i did finish this year. and what a massive fuckin THING that was. 60k words! 50 illustrations!! the biggest thing i ever put out and technically finished, and the beginning of a move to being less afraid of writing "weird" sex. there was so much bee sex in it. arguably too much bee sex in it. which i'd left entirely til last to do which meant i was writing nothing but bee sex for weeks.

this was the first time i let myself really indulge in writing dubcon for the bad endings, and it was a lot of fun. very often it was more interesting than the deliberately horny routes, because it meant writing a way to be put in the situation, and also making it hot every time. i'm very much of the philosophy with dubcon that even if the situation wasn't Ideal for the character, they're still going to get good sex out of it. i believe i put it at another point as, i'm here to write the pleasure of helplessness, not suffering. to that point, the dubcon endings for the armor, the dryad, and the queen bee were my favorite bits from this.

the fact i never got a second update out this year is a big regret. i finished a bunch of the routes for it, but ultimately i wanted to have things i could release! shortly after publishing the demo and update, i officially put my webcomic on hiatus so i could focus more on my graphic novel, and also spend more time on my writing. having that extra time is probably the only reason i was able to write as much as i did this year, and i didn't want to spend it toiling away on a serial project i couldn't release for months at a time.

which leads us to the release of my first novella of the year...

House of the Risen King, released in April

now this is when i truly said "i'm just going to write what i think is hot and interesting and not worry about how it's perceived!!" and went whole hog on exhibitionism and monster dubcon cult horror. house was mostly inspired by the ending of Hereditary, and was originally going to be more poltergiesty and played more straight, with vee being harangued by a bunch of horny ghost-demons and nothing more sinister than that. but i've had cult shit percolating at the back of my brain forever, and i wanted to play with ideas i'd first developed in shadow in the shelves with rituals and shadows, so here we are! the scene of hettie fingering vee in the bathtub while vee's god-fucked out of her mind is my favorite.

fun fact, the original seed for this book was actually going to feature max and mortis, my photographer/model couple (that link goes to cohost because i wasn't posting here yet when i was drawing them the most). the idea was they'd go do an urban exploration shoot and mortis would start getting fucked by a ghost while max filmed it, but the more time i spent with those characters the less i wanted to involve the supernatural. which meant i never wrote their book, and had to make a new character to do the idea. and then it wasn't even that idea anymore.

that's writing, folks

Roger Crenshaw: The Dogs at Duskfall, released in June

... which makes it ironic that the next book is one i didn't even write! r/l monroe @mortalityplays has been my friend for years, and was my editor for a long time (until he got a REAL JOB and didn't have TIME to edit anymore. sobs, cries, kicks a stone and walks into the distance). he's also always been an incredible writer, and for my birthday this year i asked him to write me something. i asked with the expectation of a little short story about our old tabletop RP characters, or a fanfic scene for one of my books he'd edited.

and then he wrote me 20,000+ words digging into the character of roger crenshaw and who he is that perfectly summed him up and tied all his stories together, such that i don't think i ever need to write another one. he did it, he wrote the perfect ending to roger. AND he did it using my favorite of his ocs from our tabletop campaign, AND there's some really hot and sweet smut in it. AND HE DID IT IN LIKE TWO WEEKS.

i loved it so much that i asked if i could illustrate and publish it as an official novella, and to my delight he agreed, and it was so so nice to collaborate with him on it. even if it meant beating our heads against the wall for 30 minutes about the placement of certain images on the page.

this was a great tragedy. i'd drawn the vagina one first, but an image earlier in the book had to be moved, which affected the placement of everything else. the vagina image had been perfectly at the start of a new page, and then suddenly it wasn't. so i had to do the penis one instead for better placement. tragic!!!

it's hard to pick a favorite scene in something written entirely, lovingly for you. how can i choose between the characters' pitch perfect semantic arguments on the nature of folk lore, the millenium princess-ass memory hopping, or the really really hot smut? i can't. i love it all. thank you r/l for being so good at what you do and writing this for me, i'll treasure it always.

The Dragon Double Feature, released in May

apparently this came out in may, and not july. i don't know why i've been convinced this came out in july. oh well i can't be bothered to insert it on top of the roger one.

anyway. THIS book. this book exists because i believe at the time i was a bit blocked, and wanted to just write SOMETHING. for a long time i've had the idea of a dragon wrecking a princess' wedding and fucking her in front of the congregation just sitting in my back pocket. it was the 'i know i could just slam this out if i wanted. i don't have to care about it it's just sex and then it's done' fallback idea, and i finally did it!

and then it was too short. i don't like the idea of publishing anything less than 10k words for full price, so i was like. okay. alright. i've always thought fucking an eastern dragon would be hot and have this other idea i was going to use for roger (back when i had an idea for every monster possible for roger), let's just write that. kenta is only kenta because i took a poll for what body type i should pair with a dragon (he was 'big boy', i think the other options were twink, older woman, and average woman). and i was also Really into the movie inu-oh at the time, which is probably obvious with kenta being a blind musician, lol.

the musician and the waterfall was tougher to write because i didn't have a clear vision of how it should end or even how they should fuck (the mechanics of fucking long noodle dragon have challenged me for years) but i'm ultimately pleased with it. it would have been a long time since i wrote something sincerely romantic, and it was nice to go back to it. i'm a HUGE romantic at heart.

both stories are pretty much one extended scene so it's hard to pick a favorite moment from them, but i will say i'm very pleased with how i approached writing the musician and the waterfall, specifically in the challenge i set myself to never use visual description kenta couldn't reasonably guess. writing from the POV of a blind man made me focus in on different senses and ways to describe them.

this book is also, as of right now, my best seller. which is great! i love that for me.

The Dragon Double Feature 2, released in July

okay i guess THIS one released in july.

anyway i got stricken with the curse with this one. a lot of people wanted me to write a sequel, but i wasn't going to. and every time i say i'm not going to do something, i end up doing it. it's so annoying. this one only happened because i wanted to write a SHORT! a SHORT extra for patreon describing kenta and wakatake's first time having sex as humans.

and then i wrote too much preamble describing their time on the beach. and then i got emotionally invested in unpacking their actual relationship, and also added a third character with mrs arakawa, and had to bring it all together into a story that was coherent and had something to say about the way they loved and ALSO ended in a THREESOME because WHATS THE POINT OF INTRODUCING A THIRD CHARACTER if they aren't all going to FUCK TOGETHER!!

it was tough. but i'm really, really happy with it in the end, and think it's one of the best things i've ever written. my favorite scene is definitely them playing with the hermit crab on the beach. metaphors babie.

the gundrid/eveline story is fine too. lmao. i NEVER PLANNED TO WRITE ANOTHER WITH THEM!! i only did it because the idea of publishing a sequel to a story from a double feature without writing a sequel to the other half of the feature was insane. and now eveline and gundrid are some of my most beloved characters, to the point of writing another book featuring them...

The Tenebrous Tower, released November

yet another book i'm pretty sure i was like 'i don't need to write this. this character doesn't work for a story on his own, what am i ever gonna do with him' and then i dumped a bunch of fantasy characters into a jar with him and suddenly i had a story. I ONLY MADE ROMICK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DRAW FUCKED UP WIZARD PORN AND MY ONLY OTHER OPTION WAS A GRANDPA!!!

anyway i started writing it as something to do on vacation, and it was just gonna be a bunch of dungeon bdsm vignettes until i hit on a throughline and suddenly i had a story and an emotional arc and damn i did it again. i did it again. i have a book.

i was expecting this one not to do very well because it had multiple prerequisites, but because i am a master of my craft i made sure to write it so you didn't need to read those. and then people read it without reading those. so it worked out anyway and now it's done just about as well as dragons 2. the people love romick, but they especially love the idea of him being destroyed. maybe someday. maybe someday. (except on patreon, where it's already happened)

the final vignette with the doll is, of course my favorite. i think it was a lot of people's favorites.

............................................

and that's everything i published this year! honorable mention to my novel starbuster, which i'd written most of last year, then spent all of october this year revising with the intent of finishing it, only to run out of steam by the time i was done revising it. so it's exactly where i left it last year. just better written. god it would be nice to finish that fuckin thing next year.

my goals for 2024 are, of course: release more books!! i have a big project i've been working on illustrating for the past month that i'd like to release in january, and i've also been working on a spin-off one-shot with mrs arakawa and an oni. i think this coming year i want to Try to blast through some of the one-off ideas i developed this year so they'll quit banging cowbells in my brain. like the sleeping garden. it makes me insane i never actually wrote the sleeping garden.

anyway if you actually made it to the end of this, thank you!! if you've bought all of these books, double thank you!!! i've been able to pay my rent and expenses just with my adult work this year, and it's been amazing and fun and super fulfilling. thank you for supporting me in 2023, here's to a horny 2024!!

[dmercer91]

in your arms i feel at peace | look after you, tz11

in which trevor is your shoulder to cry on

don't let those super fluffy pictures of z fool you, this is sad as fuck (and dialogue heavy)

when i first started this account i figured i'd be doing mostly nsfw and look at me!!! every character i write has mommy issues :)

also send in for this au pls and thank you ill give you a vital organ

"someone's in a good mood," trevor mumbled behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as you made breakfast for the two of you. nobody else was awake yet, and it was nice to just have some quiet time with him.

in just a couple weeks you’d become great friends, and you found yourself glued to him or to a book all day every day

“my mom asked if i wanted to go shopping with her today, it’s been a while since we’ve done something like that,” you explained, not clocking the look of worry on trevor’s face

you were over the moon that your mom wanted to spend time with you, one on one. this was your chance to bond with her now that you were closer to being an adult

your chance to fix things and have her treat you as an individual

you figured your mom saw today the same, that she might change. maybe she wouldn’t undermine your issues, compare them to her own

maybe she’d offer you help rather than argue that she was worse off

maybe she’d buy you things you actually like rather than force you to dress like she wanted - professional and proper so that you would be taken more seriously

trevor could tell that you thought today would change some things, and he wasn’t quite sure what to think of it

he knew your relationship with your mom wasn’t great. he knew your relationship with your whole family was less than ideal, actually.

he was a little nervous to see where the day went, but for now? you were excited, and he loved that for you

that excitement didn’t last long

he had a feeling he’d be left picking up the broken pieces of your heart whenever you got back

the feeling was right

but, he didn’t think it’d be this bad.

you were yelling as you walked through the door, your mom poker faced and unimpressed, almost rolling her eyes as she told you to calm down

“would you quit being a brat? there are other people in this house!”

trevor watched from the bottom of the stairs as you paused, laughing to yourself

“right. other people. you know what, mom?” you left space for her to answer you despite the question being rhetorical, but she just crossed her arms

challenging you to say what it was that was on your mind

“i don’t want to be your daughter anymore. from here on out, i am a stranger to you, i am the other people you’re so worried about looking your best for” you smiled softly

your moms face fell from amused to confused, thinking you’d do what you normally did - cry, and then accept any offer to rekindle your relationship in hopes that this time, she’d be a mom to you.

“you’re a pathetic excuse for a mother and i was just a kid. i didn’t- i don’t deserve to be tangled in this stupid, one sided vendetta you have against me for just existing,” your tone was level, you weren’t yelling anymore

your mom scoffed, trying to hold up a cold exterior while facing the reality that she was losing the only person who’d do anything for her

the person who, at seven years old, helped her move out of your dads house after the divorce

the person who didn’t question that you were moving in with a man you’d never met before

the person who cleaned the whole house regularly so that she wouldn’t have to stress about it

the person who helped her with laundry because her boyfriend refused

the person who defended her when he was drunk

the person who let her cry on your shoulder when owen wanted to stay with your dad for some time

the person who didn’t do the same because you didn’t want to hurt her feelings

the person who offers to do anything and everything for her because you know she works a lot

the person who forgives quickly and tries to forget, cause that’s your mom and you believed she could be better

the person who shuts up when you’re feeling down because you don’t want to put more things on her

the person who drops anything you’re feeling cause when you bring it up, suddenly she feels worse than you about that same thing and she needs you to lean on

the person who after seventeen years, has finally given up

you’ve given up.

“don’t you think that’s a little dramatic, y/n?” you smiled with a shake of your head, a tear falling down your face

“that’s kinda the problem, isn’t it? if i was any less emotional you might have me checked for psychopathy.

my whole life you let owen walk all over me. demean me over and over, and of course i cried, i was eight years old.

every time i tried to say something you’d tell me i was too emotional, that he treated me like shit on the bottom of his shoe because it was easy and i reacted too much

that wasn’t the truth. you just didn’t want to deal with it. you were annoyed that i was crying.

regardless i believed you because you were meant to be my mother

the bullying never stopped but every single time i just walked away and suddenly i wasn’t emotional enough for you

i was uncomfortable in my own home and that meant i was rude and blunt and i needed to smile sometimes cause i seemed like a bitch

you made me into that and i think it’s time someone lets you know so you can get the fuck off your high horse, cause we all know you think you’re a great mother”

she clenched her jaw and opened her mouth to speak, but you cut her off

“i’m not done.

news flash, buying me things at the mall just to soften the blow of you being a massive cunt doesn’t make you a good mother

putting a roof over my head and feeding me doesn’t make you a good mother, it just allows you to keep your kids.

so, again. you’re gonna start treating me like a stranger

because it’s not hard to see how insecure you are about how random people see you on the outside

you put up this mask of perfection for people who don’t even know you and never will, but you don’t give a single fuck how your own child sees you on the inside

i’m done being an extension of you to torment and compare yourself to, and i’m staying here wether you like it or not.

i’m here as a friend of quinn’s, now. as a friend of the family’s. this is not my family,”

the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop

“don’t be disrespectful, y/n. i do a lot for you. i bought you summer clothes today!” you bit the inside of your cheek, filing through you head to look for any memory of her that wasn’t tainted by it’s true purpose, and you couldn’t.

“you didn’t listen to a word i said, huh? figures,”

when you turned and the first thing you saw was trevor, looking at you from the staircase, every bit of yourself willed to not let the dam break until you were alone, with him.

you walked right into him, clinging onto him and pressing your face tight into his neck

he reciprocated the second you were near, taking you into his arms and squeezing you tight, cupping your head and rubbing your back

he helped you up the stairs and towards the door to his room, holding your hand until you got to his bed and he could pull you back into his arms, on his lap.

"what happened, sunshine?" he murmured, letting you comb your fingers through his hair to try and keep yourself calm

it didn't work all that well, tears already streaming down your face now that you were in the comfort of his room, alone where you felt you wouldn't be judged.

your reply was muffled by his shoulder, where you'd pressed your jaw to try and keep your cries quiet

"she wanted me to go back home."

trevor furrowed his eyebrows and traced patterns on your leg with his fingers, knowing you'd open up when you were ready.

you took a minute to calm your breathing, explaining everyhting.

that originally you wanted to spend the summer at home with your dad because you knew you'd be isolated here, that quinn had other friends and you couldn't steal him away from everyone for the whole offseason.

that you got put in your place before the drive down to michigan and told that ellen needed you there to help around the house and that you could just be helpful 'this one time'

that ellen hadn't made you touch a thing all summer, the only time you did a chore was when you made yourself and him a snack, so you knew your mom just wanted you here to be a servant

that when you met him, you were finally happy in michigan and you were actually looking forward to the summer and getting to know him, spending some more time with jack and luke now that you had someone in common

that today, the shopping trip was just a cover up, your mom spoiling you before telling you - not asking - that you were going back home to house sit until the offseason was over

that you were naive at first, that you thought your mom grew a heart and that she was giving you an out due to you wanting to stay back home weeks ago

that you quickly saw through that

that your mom told you that owen had been excited to meet the team usa guys, trevor especially, and that you were getting in the way of your brother having the offseason experience he wanted

that you were going to be miserable the whole summer, but now that you've found a happy place in michigan, you were told to go home and be miserable there instead

that she wanted you isolated all summer. that was her plan.

and after you let it all out to him, you just started sobbing, and you couldn't stop

trevor did his best to soothe you, mumbling sweet nothings and reassuring you that ellen wanted you at the lake house and that he knew she'd let you stay

"i don't know what i could've done to make her hate me so much," you croaked, balling his shirt up into your fists and pulling him closer

“you didn’t do anything, sunshine. there’s nothing in the world you could’ve done to deserve that, you were just a kid. n’ you’re an angel, you know? like heaven on earth, it’s not your fault,” he whispered, cradling the back of your head

you looked up into his eyes from your spot on his shoulder, eyes uncertain and still overflowing with tears

“i know you don’t believe me, it’s okay,” he slid his thumb back and forth along your hair, kissing you on the temple.

you adjusted your head to get closer to him, still keeping your eyes on his

sniffling slightly, you took his other hand and toyed with his fingers, gaze eventually falling there as your tears slowed and nose cleared up

“thank you, trev, that-“ he cut you off with a kiss, catching you a little off guard

still, you pulled away with a smile, holding his jaw with the hand you’d had gripping his shirt

“that’s really sweet.” you finished, fresh tears falling from your face

he moved to wipe them, brushing his thumb against your nose gently

“of course, my sunshine,”

you hugged him, using both arms to wrap around him and squeeze tight, him returning the favour

“i’m all yours for the rest of the day, hm? maybe we can sneak off on the boat? bring some snacks, blankets n’ your laptop for movies and make a day out of it,”

you nodded happily, becoming pliant in his arms with a dumb smile

“that sounds perfect, z,”

he went to kiss you again, but the door cracked open mid lean-in and you jumped apart like it was an affair

it was ellen, now grinning to herself at the sight in front of her

“i figured you’d be in here. can we talk?”

you blushed, nodding.

“yeah, auntie el, just-“

“i’ll go,” trevor cut you off, ruffling your hair and placing a kiss on your cheek

[dragongodryss]

Based on this tweet

Sting was in trouble. He had thought it was funny when his friends, who had never met his cat, assumed Lector was his boyfriend. Now that he had been invited to Natsu's wedding, on the other side of the country, he felt otherwise.

He had, at first, considered coming clean, but that would be embarrassing. He couldn't decline the invitation either, since he hadn't seen Natsu in nearly two years. In short, he was fucked. Or rather, he wasn't. If he was, he might have someone he could try to convince to go with him.

He had been putting it off for a month, and now he only had a week left to find both a fake boyfriend who was willing to answer to the name Lector, and a cat sitter.

There was no putting it off any longer, so he called his friend, Yukino, to ask for advice. Maybe he could convince her to watch Lector for him.

"Hello Sting! I was just going to call you. You're coming to Lucy's wedding too, right?" Yukino said cheerfully. Damn it. He forgot that she was friends with Natsu's fiancée.

"Yeah, about that... You know Lector, my cat? Natsu assumed I was talking about a boyfriend, and he kinda wants to meet him at the wedding, to make sure he's not a jerk or whatever. So I need a cat sitter and someone who's willing to take a train ride across the country with a complete stranger and can be trained to answer to 'Lector' in a week." Sting decided to rip off the band-aid. Yukino wouldn't rat him out.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious! I'm writing a song about it. Natsu and Lucy can play it at the reception." Yukino's himbo boyfriend, Orga, mocked him. Sting had forgotten that Yukino usually had her phone on speaker, for some reason. Orga would absolutely rat him out, and as he would be attending as Yukino's +1, there would be no stopping him.

"No you won't, Orga. No. We'll negotiate later, I'm helping Sting avoid the consequences of his actions right now." She was his best friend for a reason, and that reason was that she was the best. "Now: Why exactly did you think any of this was a good idea?"

"Well, it was funny at first, and then I'd kept up the lie for three months and I realized I was in too deep." Sting admitted. Yukino sighed.

"And at no point in the three months after that did you think to ask for help?" Yukino chided him.

"Nope."

"Of course not. Do you have 20 thousand jewel?"

"Yeah? Why?"

"Alright. You'll be at the party for a day, plus two days for traveling. All expenses at the hotel will be paid, and I assume you're willing to pay for both of your train tickets?" Yukino asked.

"Yeah, sounds right." Sting confirmed.

"Okay. Sorano could use some more money, so she'd probably watch your cats and-"

"Wait, cats?"

"Yeah. One of my coworkers owes me a favor, and he needs a break from work anyway, so I could probably convince him if I told him I found a place for his cat to stay." His amazing friend told him.

"You're the best!"

*

Who would have known having Yukino cover his shift so he could take Frosch to the vet would have such devastating consquences?

Rogue wondered how his life had reached this point. He was sitting opposite someone he'd met only once, inside a train headed to the other side of the country, to a wedding for people he had never heard of.

Not an ideal situation, but aside from Frosch, Yukino was his only friend and she had made arrangements for Frosch, so he had agreed. It was a free vacation, anyway. Not to mention the guy was good looking.

"So, Lector, what do you do for a living?" His fake boyfriend, Sting, asked him. Rogue really could have done without the fake name, especially in private, but he wouldn't be able to answer to it without practice.

"The same as Yukino. We're both nurses." Rogue answered. It took him a moment to realize that he ought to ask Sting the same. "You?"

"I'm a graphic designer. Okay, more things we really need to know: Ages, have we ever been arrested, how did we meet? I'll start: I'm twenty six and I've been arrested twice." Sting told him.

"What for?"

"I'll tell you when you answer."

"Fine, I'm twenty six, and I haven't been arrested yet. Now should I regret agreeing to this?" Rogue asked.

"Trespassing and accessory to second degree arson. I promise it's not as bad as it sounds. It's been like, ten years. And the second one was Natsu's fault." Sting defended himself.

"The groom?"

"Yeah, that's the guy. He wants to meet you to make sure you're not a jerk." Sting explained.

"What have you told him about Lector?" Rogue steered the conversation back on track.

"Oh, usual cat things: He steals my food, he wants cuddles, he charges around the house at 3am, he's adorable, I keep losing staring contests to him, he bites me." Sting seemed to realize how badly awry things had gone before they had even reached the venue. "Well that's going to be awkward."

"You don't say."

*

"We should practice the whole couple thing." Sting suggested a few hours later over lunch. Rogue looked up from his sandwich, over to Sting and reached out, grabbing some of his fake boyfriend's M&Ms before focusing on his sandwich again.

"Well that's a start, but I was thinking more along the lines of PDA and establishing boundaries." Sting clarified. Honestly, staring at Sting wouldn't be too hard, and as demonstrated, stealing his food was entirely within the realms of Rogue's capabilities. The rest, however... Rogue nodded.

"Ideally, we'd hug a bunch and maybe kiss a couple of times to really sell it, but we can say you're shy around strangers if you really don't want to." Sting explained.

"No, that seems fine." Rogue accepted.

"Okay, now we need to practice." Sting said. Rogue froze for a moment. Once he realized what Sting meant, he nodded. He knew damn well he'd slip up in front of everyone if he didn't practice.

Sting leaned over the table and pecked him on the lips. It felt fine, almost like it was something he normally did, at first, but then he felt his face heat up suddenly. Sting pulled away.

"Sorry, I panicked." Rogue apologized swiftly.

"No, it's fine, I barely noticed. It went better than I expected." Sting reassured him. "They'll never notice."

*

It was mid afternoon when they arrived at their station in the middle of nowhere, and only a short walk to the hotel from there. Rogue offered to carry some of Stings luggage, as he had brought fewer things. Sting's face flushed when Rogue's hand touched his. He'd have to get that under control. Did he regret packing half his wardrobe, or was it a blessing? Who knew? Sting certainly didn't.

"It's a nice venue." Rogue noted, looking around as they cleared the gates. There were tons of different flowers in lots of colors, and what Sting was pretty sure was a hedge maze. Hopefully, Natsu would know better than to start a fire at his own wedding. The hotel was an old castle, with large glass windows. Another easily breakable thing. Either Natsu had really changed in the last two years, or Lucy wasn't as much of a genius as her loving fiancée insisted. It was nice nonetheless.

"It's really big." Sting realized, as he spoke, how many people would be present to witness it if things went wrong.

"Don't get lost." Rogue joked.

"Sting! There you are!" Natsu came running out the door towards them, high-fiving Sting when he reached them. "I thought you were going to bail on me."

"Never. I wouldn't miss this for the world." Sting promised.

"I'd kick your ass if you did. Speaking of which, is this the Lector you were talking about?" Natsu asked, turning to Rogue. Sting grinned awkwardly.

"Yeah, that's my boyfriend. R-Lector, this is my childhood friend Natsu, he's the groom. Natsu, this is my boyfriend Lector." Sweating, Sting made the introductions.

"Nice meeting ya! How'd you meet?" Natsu asked Rogue. Stings eyes widened. Fuck. They hadn't prepared this.

"Frosch, my cat, learned how to open doors, and I forgot to lock the front door. Sting helped me look for her for hours, so I invited him out for coffee once we found her." Rogue answered excitedly. "Do you want to see a picture of her? I have pictures of her."

"Sure. Let's see her." Natsu agreed. Rogue's face lit up as he pulled out his phone.

"She's sweet, yeah." Natsu admitted. "Do you want to see Happy? He's our ring-bearer."

*

The first hurdle had been overcome minimal difficultly, so Sting was in high spirits when they reached the hotel room.

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but he was somehow surprised to find that there was only one bed, albeit a large one.

"I can take the couch if you want." He offered when Rogue entered.

"No, I think it's fine. The bed's pretty big." Rogue said casually. Well if he didn't mind, Sting sure as hell didn't. He dropped his stuff on the floor and flopped onto the bed. Rogue put his own stuff down more carefully before sitting down beside him.

"Didn't think it would go so well. I'm not sure what I was worried about." Sting admitted, letting out a sigh he hadn't known he was holding in.

"Don't jinx it. Honey." Rogue deadpanned, before letting his face break into a smile. It took Sting a moment to realize he was staring.

*

Despite his warning, Rogue was feeling pretty confident when he and Sting went downstairs for the rehearsal dinner. Gray, the best man, had let them know there was no need to dress up, so Rogue was wearing a red turtleneck sweater and black jeans. Sting, who seemed hellbent on making Natsu regret allowing the policy to be so vague, was wearing leather trousers and a rainbow crop-top.

"Aren't you worried you'll outshine the groom?" Rogue asked him.

"If Natsu was worried about that, he wouldn't have invited me." Sting boasted. Rogue decided to take his word for it.

They entered the dining hall when it almost full, Sting having insisted on being fashionably late. Perhaps that was a blessing, because that was the only reason Rogue had noticed Gajeel, his older cousin, before Gajeel noticed him.

"Sting, don't panic, but my cousin is here and he knows damn well my name isn't Lector." Rogue whispered hurriedly.

"Okay, okay. Don't panic. Maybe he won't notice you. We're not in the wedding party anyway, so show me who it is and we'll avoid them." Sting whispered back.

They took their assigned places, on the same side of the room as Gajeel, though a little further away from the main table, as Gajeel's wife, Levy, was sitting beside the bride. Oh. Yeah. Levy had mentioned at New Years that she would be maid of honor in her best friend's wedding. If Rogue had known it was this wedding, he would have refused Yukino's request. Speaking of Yukino, his coworker was making her way to their table with her boyfriend.

"So how is it going? Anyone suspect anything?" She asked.

"Shhh!" Sting looked around quickly.

"Don't worry. I asked Lucy to make sure we were the only ones at this table." She reassured him, though it didn't seem to work-

"She's going to know somethings up!" Sting insisted.

"Serves you right. Now how are things going with Lector." Yukino's boyfriend asked, winking at Rogue.

"Terribly, considering his cousin is married to the maid of honor." Sting hissed.

Rogue checked out of the conversation, watching Gajeel like a hawk. When desert rolled around, his cousin finally noticed him. Rogue shook his head faintly. Not now.

To his relief, Gajeel took the hint and dinner went off without a hitch.

Rogue waited just outside the door to the dining hall for him, to save him the trouble of looking and minimizing the risk of being exposed.

"Hey Rogue! Why didn't you say you were coming here? We could've driven you." Gajeel asked him when he came out, Levy in tow.

"It's complicated. Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Rogue looked around in a panic, worried Gajeel's loud voice would carry through the hallways.

In the garden, Gajeel resumed his line of questioning.

"So what's up, kid? Do I need to kick someone's ass?"

"No! Nothing like that. A friend of mine messed up and told his friend he had a boyfriend, so I'm helping him out. I didn't know this was your friend's wedding. Can you just call me Lector until this is over?" Rogue asked.

"Oh. You're the cat boy!" Levy exclaimed. Gajeel looked like he was about to explode with laughter.

"I'm sorry, what?" Rogue asked.

"Oh, Natsu wanted help figuring out what the deal with his friend's boyfriend was, so he asked us about it. We started calling you cat boy because it seemed like his friend was describing a cat." Levy explained.

"I wonder why."

*

The ceremony passed by quite normally, with only one accidental fire, which wasn't Natsu's fault.

Sting felt gorgeous in his light gray tuxedo and sky blue shirt, which was secretly a button-down crop-top, but he was having trouble keeping his eyes off his date, who looked dashing in a black suit and red shirt. Despite his prior warning to Sting not to outshine the groom, Rogue had decided to put his hair in a ponytail, which Sting forgave because he looked hot.

The reception promised to be a party to remember, being in the castle grounds, with every kind of food imaginable and ample space to dance.

Sting cheered when Natsu and Lucy finished their first dance, which prompted several others to cheer alongside him.

The music continued, and Sting offered his hand to Rogue. Rogue took it, smiling softly.

"Just so you know, honey, I can't dance for shit." Rogue warned him.

"Like we need to be good at it. It's pretty much just spinning anyway." Sting told him, taking the lead.

They might not have been the best dancers, but no one could beat them at spinning, Sting was sure of that. No one could match them with how majestic they were. He didn't know how many songs had passed when they stopped for a drink, just that they were out of breath.

As he unbuttoned the jacket to reveal his secret crop-top, Rogue leaned against him casually, and Sting realized that by this time tomorrow, it would be over, and the knowledge crashed over him like a tidal wave.

"Oh, I love this song! Do you want to go dance again?" Rogue exclaimed. Sting knew the song. It was 'All or Nothing' by Theory of a Deadman.

He took Rogue's hand again as they started to spin, looking into Rogue's eyes. He didn't want to let go. As the song ended, Sting made his choice.

"Hey, Rogue? I don't know if you're even into guys, but I enjoyed hanging out with you, and I wanted to know if you wanted to try going out for real sometime." He confessed. Rogue smiled that beautiful smile again.

"That depends entirely on if or not I'll have to go by Lector every time we visit your friends." He answered teasingly.

"No- nah, you don't. I'll come clean. I'll text Natsu on our way home." Sting promised.

"Then I'd love to." Rogue said.

"Alright, then would you like to go out for coffee on Wednesday? There's a coffee shop near the hospital that sells really good cinnamon rolls." Sting suggested.

"That sounds wonderful."

*

On the train ride home, Sting tried to work up the nerve to call Natsu, who would be leaving on his honeymoon tomorrow.

"Do it. Do it. You've got this." Rogue chanted in the seat beside him, in the most monotone voice he could muster.

Emboldened, Sting instead opted for text to the group chat, with basically everyone he knew from his hometown.

Lucy, Natsu, Levy, Gray, Wendy, Cana, Mira, Elfman, Lisanna, Laxus, Lyon and several others.

Sting: Hey guys. I just wanted to come clean. The Lector I kept telling you about was my cat. The guy I brought is actually called Rogue.

Cana: Hah! I knew you couldn't get a boyfriend.

Natsu: Yeah, Yukino told us as soon as you told her.

Sting looked at Rogue in horror. Rogue looked stunned for a moment, but started chuckling. He took Sting's phone.

"Sting": Levy, did you know?

Levy: Yeah. We just wanted to see how far Sting would go.

Sting took his phone back from Rogue.

Sting: You guys are the worst.

Sting: And joke's on you, Cana, I asked Rogue out and he said yes.

"Levy": You get Rogue on the phone right now. We need to talk.

Levy: Sorry, Gajeel took my phone.

Sting put his phone away.

"Should I be worried?" He asked Rogue.

"I'd say no, but that would be a lie." Rogue answered. "If worst comes to worst, we can blame Yukino."

[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

-----

Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this

[johnslittlespoon]

okay a bit (a lot, tldr in tags) of rambling to gather my thoughts, but for the dog coded bucky fic <3 enjoyers i have tentatively decided:

i will finish chapter two so ik it's # serious lol, plan out the rest of the chapters so i make sure i don't need to change anything in the first two (bc i'm still not even sure how many chapters it'll be), and then, i think i will force myself to stop being a Coward and post ch1 🫠

but i DO want to warn you that i am a slow writer, i've said this before ik, but i haven't written a chaptered fic in about five years so i'm really not sure how my pacing will be, so i feel like it's fair to lyk in advance!

my ideal aim would be to get a chapter out once a week, but i'm gonna be so real, a more realistic goal is once every two–ish weeks because me + freshly–medicated adhd + writing is not conducive to productivity lmaoo :')) tbh i'd be happy if i even got one done a month but i'm hoping to be faster than that, i just also don't want to rush bc this fic is so close to my heart already, i don't want to put smth out where i feel like i let myself/readers down. <3

anyway. that's my yapping for the afternoon, very excited bc i made a lovely fellow fruit loop friend recently while in queue for a concert and we both accidentally found out the other wrote fanfic LOL u get close real quick when ur holding out for barricade all day 😭

but we have a writing day planned tmrw!! bc body doubling is a lifesaver. so i'm rly hopeful i'll get ch2/all my plotting done tmrw and if all goes well, ch1 can be posted this week <33 half of the reason for posting this is to hold myself accountable too bc i'll feel more pressure to work away at it so i don't have to eat my words lmfaoo

to the angels who have been following the (very slow) formation of this fic, genuinely thank u sm for being so patient with me and also for always keeping my spirits and motivation up chatting to me ab it, i don't think i would've ever actually ended up writing it otherwise so!! i am v thankful <33 it's 'just fic' but it's also a return to something i adore but haven't had the inspo or energy for in years so i'm very :'))

[thedragonagebigbang]

Bang Creator Interview: Tumblr: @blarrghe  |  [AO3: blarghe

The Collaboration period has begun! In these quiet months before works are due, we want to foster a sense of excitement, camaraderie, and celebration among our participants. To that end, all participants were given the option of a formal interview by our mod, Dema, or an informal “ask-game” survey. We hope you enjoy getting to know our phenomenal creators as much as we have!

Tortured Man More Tortured by Having To Endure the Best Week of His Life

Blarghe and Dema talk art imitating life writing, romantic foils, and the Platonic Ideal Dorianmance 

Dema: I'd love to begin in OC land with you. As someone who is both an artist and a writer, do you find that making art of your OCs informs your process? Or are those pretty separate for you?

Blarghe: Hmm. That's a good question.

Dema: Why, thank you!

Blarghe: My feeling has always been that I'm a better writer than I am an artist, so maybe the writing informs the art, more. I am always getting very visual ideas, like maybe some comic-panel type storyboards in the brain, and I can't really illustrate that to the degree that I want, so it can be like it is in my head. But I can more easily make words do that.

I'd very much like to do some illustrations for my own stuff, and I love drawing my OC and some things have helped in the other way, like designing his vallaslin on paper did give me something better to describe from in writing. I'd really love to reach the point of being able to do a few comics. There are a few scenes I really see that way. I try to be quite visual in my writing in the meantime I guess, haha.

Dema: That makes sense! I have the same dream. Comics are very intimidating. So it sounds like you write your OCs before you draw them?

Blarghe: Yeah, generally. I think since we're going from a video game and I already have seen the characters that way, there's that. Though I have OCs I have not made in the character creator. I haven't invented a ton of non-canon side characters but there are a few. I think I can picture them pretty well. I wind up drawing them after falling in love with them through writing them, rather than like, designing a character visually/on paper/in the cc before putting them in a story. Honestly, I put down DA:I for a looong time while still writing da:i-inspired fic with my OC and other canon characters. So I guess I don't have to look at him that often.

Dema: I have asked several of our writers if they make all their OCs in the CC, and if that's step 1. I'm curious, too, at what point you knew you were going to make fan content of your OC and participate in fandom. Did you finish the game first? Did you come in with a foot already in the fandom?

Blarghe: Ok long answer: I was into the games first. I started playing in maybe 2015, shortly after Inquisition came out. My partner already liked the games and was excited to play it, so I wound up watching some of that and being intrigued. But I started with Origins, loved it, and wound up loving and playing all three, all of them with more than one OC, to varying degrees of completion. When it comes to writing fic, I had ideas, like, little comics and some additional fill-in-the-gaps scenes written into notebooks and stuff for all three games. Mostly expanding on the personal relationships and romances, as you do. I'd done that kind of thing for other media I liked, but never really been in "fandom" about it for anything. I've always done creative writing and original fiction as a hobby and it was just a way of getting back into that on a personal level. I wrote the most after finishing DA:I for the second time... I kind of did a playthrough I wasn't super happy with, then made a new character specifically for a romance (Dorian's) then... wasn't super happy with that character either, THEN made Taren who is my current OC obsession, and wrote like 30K words of canon-divergence fic with a whole other OC companion inserted and just had fun with it. I forgot about that until 2020, when I found it in my docs and re-read it and decided it was actually pretty good and that I could maybe try to post online, find community, etc. I've since completely scrapped and deleted that fic from AO3, but getting out there got me into doing writing prompts and writing other stories, and now here I am. (I still haven't actually finished my Taren playthrough. I will before Veilguard lol) I was definitely motivated by COVID, thought I might go insane without community, so I picked a couple things I was already into (writing and dragon age) and went looking.

Dema: I'm guessing most of the art and writing you've done for DA has been DA:I?

Blarghe: Most, yeah. If only because my long fic is a DA:I inspired modern-au. Honestly it's fairly divorced from canon lol. Most of my canon writing is for DA:O actually. And I'm obsessed with Taren, I've drawn him more than anyone ever. He is very pretty, you see.

Dema: He is very, very pretty. Is DA:O your favorite game in the franchise? Everyone hates this question but I GOTTA KNOW hahaha!

Blarghe: Yeah it is! I love them all for different aspects, but it's got that first-game start of the obsession nostalgia. I also love a finicky, strategy-heavy RPG so to me the usual combat complaints aren't really a thing. I like the pause-every-two-seconds combat hahaha. I do really love running around through the scenery in Inquisition though, and I like the characters, and the fun flashy rogue stabbing too. But I have a soft spot for Origins for really gripping you into that story and world. It's a great balance of silly and funny and dark and difficult choices.

Dema: I haven't asked anyone else this yet, but are you finding the Veilguard announcements and previews are refreshing the inspiration? Or are you avoiding all spoilers and pretending it does not exist until the release? Or some secret, third thing…

Blarghe: Somewhere in between. I've been here the whole time lol, I don't know that it hyped me up any more, but it's nice to finally have news. And I'm excited that it will mean new people in the fandom and a resurgence that way. I am not totally avoiding spoilers but still kinda keeping my distance for my own sanity. I'll definitely lock down the spoiler tags once it's actually out.

Dema: So valid. I am feeling very inspired, myself, but I think it may be more the energy of the fandom around me reaching such a fever pitch. We're like a flock of ducks getting a whole loaf of bread after years of crumbs. 

Blarghe: So true haha. I am really excited about how it looks. Can't wait to play it!

Dema: Same! Returning to Taren a bit because, well, he's pretty: you said you went through a few iterations of OCs for a Dorian romance before him, and then were hooked. What is it about Taren that makes him a favorite? Was there a particular inspiration for him?

Blarghe: Oh boy. Not a specific inspiration. I played DA:I three times, counting the Taren one that I'm not technically finished, and the first I completely missed any romance (thought I could get Harding until it was too late) but I loved Dorian's character and his personal arc hit so hard that I immediately made a new character just for him. He was like a sassy Trevelyan who didn't really wanna be there, trying to pull kind of a rogueish charming sarcastic irresponsible pretty boy to hang with Dorian but I really didn't like how that clicked. I know it's a pretty common character archetype esp in a Dorian romance to do sassy x sassy so no hate but I found the Inquisition storyline and dialogue options just wouldn't let me be that irresponsible and funny, which makes sense. I really liked the themes of how the game pushes you into this impossible role where the only thing you can do is become a big responsible hero figure. I'm sure there's a compelling story there for the kind of character I'm talking about, but since mine fell so flat to me I decided to lean the complete opposite way. And Dorian inspired it too. The more I played and considered it the more I felt like I wanted him to have kind of a counterweight romance, you know. Opposites attract kind of thing. So Taren started as this very responsible, serious character who has always been prepared for leadership, being a First, and takes all that really seriously. He's also very Dalish and has reason to distrust and argue with him, which is great for Drama, but very very sweet and genuine and wholesome, which is so fun to contrast with all Dorian's trust issues. Dorian's quite emotional and idealistic, really, so they match in that way and it's very romantic. Taren's also a bit aspirational. Part of why I like Dorian so much is that I relate to him a lot, and I was struggling with trying to become less arrogant and more genuine, so Taren embodies a lot of that for me. Part of what makes him my favourite is probably the blank-slate of it all, too. Not having the Origin and getting to make stuff up. The whole romance plot is really compelling. I stuck him in some AUs and got carried away by worldbuilding, too. And after so much time spent with him he's just the fave now. But yeah, he's not my usual archetype. I think I've made a lot more sarcastic rogues than genuine sweethearts. He has like, anxiety and trust issues and I keep throwing him in situations to give him Trauma, but that sort of, happy, sweet, genuine, and healer-class character was all new ground to me and I wound up just loving the different-ness and challenge of it.

Dema: I did want to tell you that your "This is a story about trauma and relationships and socioeconomics and questioning belief and searching for balance. It's also about finding your soulmate on grindr" summary absolutely sent me.

Blarghe: Thank you, I'm very proud of that.

Dema: Speaking of which, can you come up with a clickbait title for your bang fic?

Blarghe: Something like Tortured Man More Tortured by Having To Endure the Best Week of His Life [[REDACTED]] you can cut that last part because it does make it obvious.

Dema: A+. Thank you for the lovely interview, it's been a treat chatting!

Blarghe: Thanks! It was very fun.

[starlingflight]

Read chapter 9 here.

Read from chapter 1 here.

Instead of a preview im going to give a quick note about 'productivity' because I'm aware I'm posting this very quickly and I know if I was in any kind of writing slump and I saw me I'd feel very frustrated/bad. So, some things to note:

1. Nearly all of this fic was pre-written before I started posting. I only have to edit before I update, which is much quicker than writing from scratch.

2. I work from home 100% of the time, which means I can get a lot of life admin done during work hours. It also means I can sneak some writing in most days. (Also, I'm on annual leave this week).

3. Anyone who's been following me for a while will know I dropped off the face of the earth for almost 2 years. For most of that time, I didn't write anything because I had no words/motivation. That I'm in something of a creative well right now is great, but I don't doubt it will desert me again at some point. These things are cyclical, for me at least.

In conclusion, if you're wondering how I'm doing this, it's a combination of pre-planning and ideal circumstances that aren't comparable to most people's lives and not a reflection on anyone else's productivity.

[catherinekal]

I'm done! With the first chapter of a new story that I hope I actually can finish. It's fantasy and a practice in writing for me. Ideally I'd have a new chapter every week or two, but who really knows. This is my first real piece of writing I've posted so I hope people like it!

I don't fully know where it's going. This is practice and experimenting. I want to find my writing style and actually make a thing instead of imagining making a thing. I'll be uploading chapter by chapter. It's an original work about a school for learning magic...for now. Please be nice and read it and reblog it and leave feedback :3 Also shouts out to @fayeastria for editing it.

Chapter 1: Silber

Shayla lurched forward, hand over her mouth, boots hitting the shifting wood floor. Her stomach tossed and turned, gurgling, surging upward. Her head felt even worse as the blues of the ocean and sky blurred together in a dizzying haze. Chunks of meat and bread shot out of her mouth and fell into the sea below. She heaved hard over the ship’s edge and felt the sick aftertaste on her breath at every cough. As the contents of her lunch sank below she turned around and slid down the railing, back firmly pressed against the wood, orange hair loosely draped over her freckled face.

Her excitement had slowly diminished during this trip. It started wonderfully when Pa told her how her eyes had turned gray. She was capable of using magic! It was sheer bliss to actually be given the opportunity to learn magic at a proper institute in the center of the world, a fantasy come true. Two weeks later and all that had vanished, squashed like a roach. The carriage ride had been pleasant at first, but the Arcanist who was escorting her was anything but. Dwai was his name and he shattered the magical view she had had of them. He may have the cyan eyes of a proper Arcanist, but they were wasted on this dull mess of a man. Arcanists were supposed to be wonders, green cloaked traveling bundles of magic and passion! All he did was tell them to keep up and gripe about how the Order had made him leave his wife for a whole month doing “this shit”. She had so many question, so many little curiosities. When she had mentioned the silver eyed Arcanist she had met as a child, he had just scoffed at the idea and given no answer! He hadn’t even used magic the whole trip, the lout. She vowed to never be as dull, boring, and rude as him when she got her own cloak. Getting on the ship she was on now had been simple enough, even for her. She’d never been on a proper ship before and the journey had made her question if any of this was worth it. The boat had been nothing but a nightmare. A cruel joke at her expense, the tossing and turning waves were evil. Solid ground! She needed solid ground! Before she could pout more, something reflected the harsh sunlight off in the distance and she squinted away. It soon passed and the biggest smile she had had in a long time was plastered across her face.

Before her in the distance was a mass of buildings, spires, and walls. The great city of Silber. She stood up, filled with newfound vigor, and rushed to the bow. Others had joined her to see the wonder of the city. The port was massive, ships of all shapes and sizes were moving to and from the docks. It was split down the middle by a large river that split into two smaller ones deeper into the city, as Shayla had told by a sailor earlier. She watched them approach it and was taken aback by just how large the river was. Nothing back home was on this scale!

Many buildings dotted the hill behind the port on either side of the river. Rising proudly towards the sky right in the middle was a giant, pure white bridge elevated above the wide river. White, smooth columns sunk into the water below and on each end were massive towers. Shayla didn’t even know what to think, nothing had prepared her for such a sight. A moment later her vision got clouded as a streak of light reflected into her eyes again. Once it stopped she saw the top of a silver tower far off in the distance. It was like a mirror reflecting the sky and stood above everything else. In front of it was a layer of tall white stone walls, a fortress at the heart of the city. Those walls towered even higher than the bridge that had enchanted her a mere moment ago.

This was truly the center of the world.

~~

The center of the world smelt like shit.

The docks were a flock of people, animals, food, cargo, and most importantly filled with the stench of sweat, piss, and shit. Shayla wasn’t unsettled by piss and shit, since a farmer who couldn’t handle that wouldn’t make much of a farmer at all. The overwhelming stench of fish and the sheer quantity of people clustered everywhere were something else entirely. It was a loud, chaotic, and foul soup of people lifting, pulling, carrying, shoving, yelling, and drinking. A mess Dwai had the pleasure of leading everyone through. Shayla wasn’t alone of course. A small group of around 20 other initiates had also made this journey. What had surprised Shayla was the variance in age between them all. About half were around her age of sixteen, most of the rest were adults with a couple younger kids as well. All of them had gray eyes.

As they made their way out of the port she heard a man shout, “Stop that thief!”

Heads turned toward the voice coming from a large man dressed in fancy robes pointing up at some crates. Two men ran out past him. Shayla’s eyes caught sight of a dirt covered teenage boy in raggedy clothes scrambling up them. His bare feet moved fast and he quickly vaulted off the crates, knocking them down in the process. Under him was a group of workers that further slowed his pursuers. The boy landed right next to their little group. Her gray eyes met his brown ones and he gave a cocky smirk. A instant later he pushed through them, knocking some down as he blitzed forward. This boy was a crafty fellow and well ahead of the men chasing him. This was the first time she had ever seen a proper thief, being from a small village where all you had to do was ask if you needed anything and the concept of stealing made no sense.

A blue circle of light suddenly wrapped around him out of thin air, stopping him immediately. His body pushed, legs kicked the ground, struggling, grunting, but nothing worked.

“Oi! Shit is this!?” The boy looked back to see Dwai with one hand out, eyes focused. “Let me go, Snakeskin!”

Dwai gave no visible reaction to the slur thrown his way. The blue circle lifted the boy off the ground and quickly pulled him back to the group with sudden force. The three men caught up and the one in robes snatched a pouch from the boys hand.

“Wonderful work, Arcanist! You have my utmost gratitude.” Three silver coins were given to Dwai and he took them without question, the first genuine smile Shayla had seen from him flashing across his face.

“Just doing my duty to the good people of this wonderful city.” Dwai politely responded.

Finally a proper use of magic from this otherwise improper fool. Shayla smiled and hoped the boy would learn his lesson. With the money returned he’d be let go and know to just ask for help next time like she had done before back home. Her smiled faded away in a instant, eyes wide. One of the men had punched the boy right as the circle of light disappeared and sent him careening to the ground. Blood dribbled down his nose and he started coughing. He scrambled to get up, but a kick to the gut caused his body to flinch. Another kick, then another, a third, and the boy was no longer struggling at all. One of the men lifted him up by his short hair while the other grabbed his arms and held them behind the boys back.

“Filthy child!” A sharp crack was heard as the mans ring-covered hand slapped across his face. The men grabbed his limp body and dragged him off somewhere.

Shayla was frozen in fear. She was no stranger to violence when needed for hunting and eating, but this wasn’t the work of no butcher. Was this really necessary for taking a bit of money? Before she could even process the events fully Dwai raised his hand up.

“Sorry for the minor delay. Come along, pupils!” He turned back towards the street leading out of the docks and pressed on.

She remembered some of the words her Pa had told her before her journey, “Life ain’t so simple for city folk as it is for us. Stay safe.” City life was harsher then she had imagined. Shayla felt very small and alone right now. All she could do was what she had been doing and follow Dwai. Looking around her fellow travelers, some were disturbed, others bored, and a few with smiles of their own. Everyone followed all the same.

~~

The discomfort from before lingered until they reached a wide open street, the widest street she had ever laid eyes on, with nice, even cobblestones in between buildings built as high as trees. A forest of alleyways, arches, and balconies, this wide road was the river cutting through it all. Instead of wild animals it was filled with people. All manner of folks were here doing all manner of things all over. She felt the oddest mix of emotions, disturbed by the events at the docks, overwhelmed by the people, nervous being so far from home, but nevertheless had a wide grin at the sheer size and variety surrounding her. Nothing could stop her from smiling, it was like a dream. Something a traveler would recount at the village tavern as they drank and gambled.

The sound of hooves echoed in her left ear as a carriage rode by the group. After it passed, she saw a group of dwarves sat at a round table, mugs in one hand and cards in the other. Actual dwarves! She could even smell the strong smoke coming from their pipes. Coins were piled in the center, reflecting their stoic face. One by one cards were laid on the table until a big red bearded dwarf shot up angrily and threw his drink at another dwarf’s head as a small brawl broke out. No one seemed to mind. Shayla had seen many a drunken brawl even back home, so this wasn’t so different.

Another familiar smell hit her, raw meat. Further ahead were massive spits of various meats set up over… nothing. Shayla cocked her head to the side, wondering what good raw meat with no fire would do anyone. She recognized some of them, such as pork, whole chickens, and sausages, but the rest was no animal she had ever butchered. A stream of fire shot out and the meats were set ablaze. A giant brown lizard on two legs wearing a pristine white chef’s hat and the most grease stained apron she had ever seen was spewing fire from his maw. A real dracha! They could really breathe fire! This wasn’t even magic, but felt like it to her as she watched the meat sizzling. The familiar smell of roasted meat filled the air and people gathered around with coins in hand. A uncomfortable gurgle and pain hit her, reminding her she had sent her last meal into the ocean depths.

She put her hand around the pouch on her waist. Her father had given her some coin for the trip, but Dwai had paid for everything so far. They were steadily passing the delicious food, but it seems he had no intention of stopping. In fact, she was pretty sure his pacing had increased, stupid married fool. Wife’s probably fucking another man, someone with joy. She needed food now! She quickly turned back to the crowd and tried to squeeze through. Bodies of all shapes and sizes pushed and pulled against her, but she forced her way forward. No time for waiting! She needed to quickly get something and head back. After some struggle she made it to the skewers of meat and reached for her pouch. Surprise hit first, then fear, her hands quickly grabbed at her waist all around as panic set in.

Her pouch was gone. She looked this way and that, but there was no way to tell who had taken it or when. She awkwardly stepped back into the crowd and forced her way back out. Her heart was racing, hoping to see the green cloak off in the distance. The wide street, however, was as busy as before. Another carriage rolled by which caused her to recoil and trip backwards. She quickly scrambled up, pushed her hair out of her face, and looked around. She didn’t see their group at all. Dwai may have been a boring bastard, but now she’d give anything to see his green cloak in the distance. She ran to the middle of the street, but no luck. Curse her horrible luck!

She ran her hands through her lengthy hair and stomped her boot hard on the ground.

“Dammit!”