#idfk like literally don't know anything this is so new to me

[spocksmalewife]

i'm experiencing a dilemma

[cesium-sheep]

I am literally too tired to enjoy anything and it fucking sucks. like literally every type of Little Treat people give themselves I can't fucking use right now because all I can do is lay on the couch and look pitiful. it is not that high on the list of Fucking Problems but it is definitely not helping because I'm literally unable to take steps to cheer myself up. (other people are also straight incapable of cheering me up. there is nothing that can be done. I just have to fucking Be Sad until I'm physically recovered enough to be less fucking sad.)

[cultofsappho]

In honor of AGCD 🤠, a list of my berserk findings in roughly chronological order RE: A RWRB Sequel:

1. When the movie come out, Casey did an AMA on Threads for both Alex, then Henry. In Henry's AMA, they posted this:

Meaning at the very least they'd be open to writing/sharing/creating more for Alex and Henry, if not a direct sequel [more from the AMA: X]

2. Casey also had an interview with Out Magazine in Nov '23 where they were asked if the want to write a sequel and they said "Of course I'd love to! 😉 I don't think i'm allowed to say anything more than that.😊" They're so fucking precious. We all know what 'not allowed to say' means. [twitter video: X]

3. Taylor has had a bunch of interviews recently, mostly as an ambassador to the SAG awards. He's been asked a dozen times about a RWRB sequel and everytime he says something along the lines of "Anything could happen! But I don't know, they don't tell me these things aha! 🤪 Give me a call!" And he's so unbelieveably obvious that his interview clips have already been compared to Andrew Garfield denying having any role in Spider-Man: No Way Home: [tiktok: X]

4. PrimeVideoUK has been bringing up RWRB & Firstprince more on social media recently. It could be for any number of reasons, it's their movie they can market however they feel like. Especially since Nick has a bunch of projects releasing rn (one of which, The Idea Of You is also releasing on Prime this summer), they may want to capitalize on the attention on him. Or, it could be to test RWRB's engagement #s... [tweet: X] [tweet: X] [twitter poll w/a rwrb sweep: X] [tiktok: X] And all the comments on these posts (and more) are begging for a sequel. So, if their social media manager is passing on the message... 👀

5. This is def a reach, so if you don't mind, i'm pulling out the red string for this conspiracy corkboard. But Casey was recently in London, it could have been a trip for literally anything. But, the first movie was filmed (and maybe produced idfk) in London. [insta post: X] they sold the movie rights for RWRB before the book was released, if I'm remembering that right, but maybe they retain rights to sign off on a sequel.

so anyway i was thinking about all those little things adding up in my head and thinking i was on to some kind of conspiracy then Nick goes and does press for Mary & George (which i just started, and is amazing btw) and says this shit:

6. Nick confirms in an interview with HitsRadio that they're talking about a RWRB sequel. Just flat out: "Yeah obv conversations are happening, duh! 😇" energy. God bless him. He says there have been conversations about a sequel. And, they're all on the same page that the script needs to be right and "all the components" need to be right. [X minute 15:50 they bring up the rwrb sequel, but the whole interview is great and you should watch it!]

ANYWAY i'm in a land of delusion, gnawing on the iron bars of my enclosure, etc, but also maybe not bc they're talking about a sequel and now we just need to wait for the greenlight

And (pseudo point #7), it would be a dumb business decision for Prime to not make a sequel. RWRB did way too well for an LGBT product, releasing during a dual actors and writer's strike, with little to no promo and zero press tour. From the RWRB Wikipedia page: "For the first three weeks after its release, it was the top watched film worldwide on the platform and provoked what Prime Video described as "a huge surge" of new subscribers." [X] And subscribers are all these streaming services care about.

I can't wait to reblog this with a screenshot when they inevitably post an offical confirmation for a sequel movie...

[dyke-pollinator]

(this ask is a get-out-of-jail-free card to infodump about osrs)

OSRS is by far the best mmo as far as I'm concerned. You can do literally anything in it. It's so simple. Its just a little medieval fantasy point and click RNG simulator. But that simplicity is what makes it so addicting.

You can literally just do whatever the fuck you want on it. The game doesnt hold your hand at all, and while I can see how that would be overwhelming for new folks getting into the game, its an aspect that keeps me coming back.

It's kind of a single player mmo. Like sure there's content to do with other folks, and it can be social at times, but like your account is yours. Everything takes such a long fucking time in that game, especially if you're playing as any type of Ironman account, that the game feels more personal.

Like I don't play nearly as much as some folks that I know and I still have nearly 5000 hours of in game time on a single account and its not even in the late game yet.

Like sure these stats are pretty decent for an iron, but I haven't even started going most of the end game content like Raids, CG, Nightmare, ect.

No only that but I legitimately that the osrs content creators are some of the absolute best gaming content on Youtube. By far. It is insane what some of these people do with the game, all because of how much of a sandbox it is.

Even if you know nothing about osrs or Runescape in general, I would HIGHLY recommend checking our SoupRS on Youtube and watch his Gielinor Games series. All of them. Start with the first season, and watch them all if you like it. Its like a survivor style game with challenges, voting, bannings, and testimonies, all through the lens of osrs.

Settled is one of the funniest motherfuckers on Youtube and has multiple videos about region locked accounts that are still easy to understand for folks who have never played the game.

Jeporite has a NorthernUIM series that leaves me in hysterics every video.

J1mmy is one of those content creators that turns everything he touches into something good. I cannot praise all of his videos enough, including the ones he makes that arent related to osrs. However, his osrs F2P series is one of my favorites.

Hannanie is a trans woman content creator that just makes some of the most off the wall insane videos I've ever seen. Seriously, she made a fucking 21 part series about cutting fucking trees in this game and managed to make every installment a banger. Hannanie is a treasure and everyone should know her content.

Imo the only gaming content on YT that comes even close to osrs is probably Minecraft, but that is mostly because you can do so much modding that the content stays fresh.

Also look at my silly little pets:

I promise you I spooned the shit out of every single one of them.

Rock Golem at 89 mining, Groot at 86 farming, TWO fucking rex pets before 140kc, 42kc thermy.

Plus with the RuneLite client, you can make your in game interaction as customizable as you want. My whole client is fucking Miku themed lmao. The community has made so many amazing plug ins for this game including a full HD client with dynamic lighting effects, increased GPU distance rendering, ect.

OSRS is a great fucking game and you should definitely be playing it. I will take full responsibility for the thousands of hours that you lose to it. I could go on but this post is already a lot longer than I was expecting it to be.

As an aside: Ironman does something to you. Why do I have 117k Light Orbs in my bank? Idfk might need em. 20k gold tiaras? Just in case. 10k snake skin? You never know when something might pop up. Hoard Everything.

[b4rbi3l4nd]

SOS — i might kill my ex

Alr y'all, third chapter is OFFICIALY OUTT, thank you all again for all the love shown on the previous chapters, I will make a masterlist after the fifth chapter so keep an eye out on that. I'm thinking of starting oneshots and imagines but i don't know if y'all want me to wait till i finish SOS or not 😭 cuz i can pop out a new chapter pretty much every 2-3 days. Tell me what y'all want and I'll provide but anyways, enjoy!

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋

GIF by mandalor-din

series summary: you broke up with shuri a few years ago and left wakanda for good until namor. now that he's killed the queen and multiple wakandan civilians, he's seen as a great threat and as former second in command at shuri's lab and wakanda's loyal warrior it is your duty to return and fight for your country. but a certain somebody makes the mission way too hard to deal with.

episode summary: you thought you died but unfortunately, you didn't and now you're being kept hostage in prison. another attack on Wakanda ensues which tests your loyalty to your country vs your sanity. eventually, you're put on trial for treason and in court, things take an unfortunate twist of events

genre: ANGST, slow, slow, slow burn

pairing: shuri x black fem reader

episode warnings: mature dialogue, cursing, trauma, shouting, mentions of death, suicide, missing people etc. this is a series. you are currently looking at the third chapter of the series, please go to my profile to read the previous chapters before continuing (if you haven't read the other chapters yet, if so, please continue)

taglist: @yvxmpire, @sweetalittleselfish-honey, @xxmilli, @queenofsimpsblog, @ziayamikaelson, @shuriislut, @atssukoo, @widowmakker, @cuddl3s4shur1, @n7cje, @ts1mp0ne

proofread?: no but if there are errors then it's grammarly's fault.

word count: girl idfk

inspirations: 'SOS' — SZA

song: 'Kill Bill' — SZA

send your thoughts and requests

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Your eyes dart open and you gasp for air.

"Calm down, calm down."

You hear a voice talking to you but it's muffled. It's like you're underwater. You're coughing and gasping, breathing heavy. It takes you almost a minute till the feeling washes away.

Slowing down you're breathing you look around, realizing you're sitting on the floor in a black room. You lift your hands up and the sounds of chains fill the room, same as your legs. You're in a cell but not just any cell, the cell.

You sigh. They only put the worst criminals in these cells and for some reason, you were put here. You know exactly why though. Shuri, or Malia. One of those bastards got you here.

You look to your left to see Nakia standing on the other side of the cell. It was like there was nothing in front of you, dividing you between you and her but you knew there was an invisible vibranium wall there that pushed anything back that approached it with maximum force.

And you know that because

you built it.

"So what's the trend now? Put me in my own creation? You guys know that I know how to get out of here right?" You say, tugging at the chains and Nakia sighed.

"This isn't the cell you created...Malia created it."

It takes you a minute before you laugh out loud. You're actually genuinely laughing but then you looked at Nakia and it ceased.

"Seriously? That dumb bimbo actually does stuff around here?" You say surprised as Nakia looks at you sternly.

"Don't call her that, she is going to be our queen one day."

"Why does everyone keep saying that-"

"Shuri confirmed it."

Your eyes widened at this and you looked at her like she was crazy.

"What?"

"Shuri...she wants to marry her." Nakia finished, leaving you speechless.

"No!" You stand up abruptly, lunging to get outside of the cell but reality pulls you back, literally. The chains tightened and you're sent flying until your back hits the wall you were just resting on. You slump down with a thud.

You weren't jealous that Malia and Shuri were going to get married. Okay, maybe a little bit. But you were more concerned that Wakanda was going to fall and you knew this because if Malia got her hands on that crown, so would Namor.

"Nakia, you can't let her do that, there's something I need to tell you, tell all of you-" You started but she cut you off.

"I'm not even supposed to be here..but Y/N...why would you do this to yourself" She looked at you sympathetically like she wanted to cry. Nakia was one of your closest friends, like a sister to you. She took a deep breath then paused, hearing some footsteps before putting her hand to her lips and walking in the opposite direction.

As soon as she disappeared out of sight, a new woman stepped in.

You scoffed at the sight and turned your head to the side.

"You can act coy all you want but you're at my mercy now."

Shuri.

You turned back to face her as she moved her kimoyo beads across the vibranium border. A small patch opened up and she dropped a tray of food through it before closing it once again.

You watched it clatter on the floor, some food pieces spilling out.

"Eat." She said as she sat down on a stool across from your room cell.

"I'd rather die, just kill me now. I don't want to be alive when you make a fool of yourself at that altar." You narrow your eyes at her and she scoffed.

"Why do hate my fiancee?" Shuri asked and you paused before sitting up straight.

"Fiancee? How long was I passed out?"

"2 weeks." She said, shrugging as your eyes widened. "You slipped off the window and fell from the 20th floor, once you hit the floor, everyone thought you were dead. You rolled off into the water and stayed below there for about 20 minutes till you were eventually found. You momentarily died."

You looked at her face, she had no sign of a sympathetic expression or even an expression at all.

"Why did you save me then.."

"I didn't." She almost looked offended that you assumed and you let out a shaky breath. "Riri did, she did everything in her power to save you, then you were put in a coma and now you're awake. Congrats."

You blinked back tears and looked down.

"So you really don't care?"

"The Crown" and "Euphoria" reference...more like dialogue coming in. Disclaimer, I took some dialogue from these shows and put it in the chapter. Some parts are mine, some are directly from the show, but I don't own the ones from the show so yea.

"You're no longer my priority Y/N. You haven't been for years." Shuri stood up, walking over to your cell, standing right in front of you. "I have way more important people to worry about."

"Who are you referring to?"

"Malia."

"Why would I care about her?!" You said, raising your voice slightly.

"BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT HER!" She screamed at you, causing you to look up at her with a frown on your face. "MORNING NOON AND NIGHT, I CARE ABOUT HER!" She paused, taking a deep sigh. "And you hurt her. And if you hurt her...you hurt me." She turned around and started walking away only to stop and then look at you. "Malia is who I want, that is where my loyalties lie. That is who my priority is."

"Not the woman who's suffered, bled, and sacrificed so much for you?"

"Don't bring the family into this."

"Alright. NOT THE WOMAN YOU PROPOSED TO?! THE WOMAN WHO STUCK IT OUT FOR YOU, THE WOMAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY?! THE WOMAN WHO WAS THERE WHEN YOUR FATHER DIED?! DO YOU REMEMBER HUH? REMEMBER YOUR THOUGHTS?! I LOST SLEEP FOR YOU, EVERY DAY I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE GOING TO COMMIT AND I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. THE WOMAN WHO CARRIED YOUR CHILD?! The woman who loves you..."

You whispered the last parts as Shuri just shook her head, looking off to side.

"No...you fucking left me..when I fucking needed you.." She turned over to you, pointing at you with tears in her eyes. "You fucking left me...when I was at my fucking low- ha..." She couldn't even finish her words because she was starting to tear up and cry. She turned around and took breaths in, sniffing.

Your tears started to fall as you took in what she said.

"You fucking left me...at my FUCKING lowest...and a real fucking girlfriend, someone who loves you wouldn't do some shit like that Y/N!"

"Really? What is this now, pin the blame on the donkey?!" You voiced out through your sobs. "Don't act all innocent now." You breathed in, your voice starting to crack, your breathing getting heavy.

"My dad.." you started. "He's gone." Those words were more a whisper. "He's gone and he's gone because of YOU!"

"Remember those weapons you gave him...huh?! Said it would help him better in combat? DO YOU FUCKING REMEMBER?!" You screamed at her, moving your hands up but the chains held you down.

"IT BLEW UP IN HIS FUCKING FACE SHURI!"

"It was still in testing..." she started.

"YOU GAVE HIM YOUR WORD! You promised..."

"And you wanna know how I found out that my father died Shuri? THROUGH A FUCKING EMAIL. WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT HUH?! TELL ME! WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT?!" You bit your lip hard as you tired to steady your breaths.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye...."

As you recalled your last encounter with your father, it was more of an angry one. He was angry that you were leaving Wakanda and you guys got into a huge fight.

"Y/N...you disappoint me, daughter."

Those words hit you like spears to the heart, and they still do now. You've always been a daddy's girl, he loved you so, so much and the fact that those were his last words to you, broke your heart.

"My little brother..." You started again as Shuri folded her lips, trying not to cry.

"He's gone. I don't know where he is Shuri. He was just 13, he was still a KID!" You were now coughing, the tears overtaking you, blurring your vision.

"They took him. And you swore. You swore to EVERYONE that you and T'Challa would bring him back. You swore to my mother...you swore to my father...you swore to me. You gave me your word. You promised me...and you broke it. That was 6 years ago. But hey, I still stuck beside you didn't I?" Your voice was breaking at that point. You were just 16 when he was taken from your family.

"And then our child, Bast bless their heart."

This one got you both, you both turned around, and you didn't even have the strength to continue. Your sobs filled the room. You were only 20 when you found out you were pregnant, Shuri was 21.

Shuri was still suffering from the death of her father and then getting engulfed with her lab work, it just wasn't working out between you guys.

When you broke the news to her, it was a celebration. Everyone was happy but 2 weeks and it blew over. The stress from all your problems at Wakanda and in your relationship caused a miscarriage.

Shuri didn't speak to you after that, she barely slept in the apartment and she was always working in the lab. There were days when she even had the Dora restrict you from entering the lab because you were a 'distraction.'

You couldn't take it anymore and left that year. It was the same year that you also discovered her. You swore to yourself you'd never be back here and now 4 years later, chained up like a prisoner.

"My queen, there has been an attack at the border."

These words pulled you away from your thoughts as you saw Shuri quickly wipe her tears and follow the warriors who had informed you guys of this news.

"What?!" You started breathing heavily. You're from the border tribe, your family is over there but most importantly, your father's grave that you still hadn't visited yet.

"HEY! NO!" You screamed at the top of your lungs, pulling your arms and legs away at the chains but they didn't resist.

You took deep breaths, your mind wandering over to your father once again, your eyes swelling up.

"Bast please..."

You muttered under your breath before standing up. Almost as if on cue, the chains broke and the vibranium wall gave way and you walked out of your cell.

Wasting no time, you ran up the stairs and up into a dark hallway. Fuck, you don't remember your way around here. You started racing down the hallway, feeling the walls and looking for exits. Eventually, you felt a body behind you.

"AH!" You turn around surprised to see a phone light point right at you.

"Hey, hey! It's okay, I'm here to help you.." A voice said reassuringly.

As the phone lowered, you squinted your eyes to see it was Riri.

"Come with me,"

She took your hand and rushed you out of the hallway and into a mini door. Once you shuffled through, you found yourself back in the lab.

"When did they build that.."

"Malia did." Riri said as she walked over to a table with some tools.

You clenched your teeth but you had no time to reminisce on her. You had people to protect. You looked over to the window to see a huge puff of smoke at the border and then water flooding in, people running around, cattle trampling some people down, some kids shouting for their parents.

I started walking over to the door but Riri stopped me.

"Hey! Where are you going? We have to stay inside, this is dangerous."

"Riri, I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown and honestly, I think I might assassinate a whole country if I don't get there fast enough to see what I need to see."

You exited the building, almost getting run over by some people frantically running around. You ignored everything and made your way over to the border, running, practically sprinting over there. It didn't even feel like your feet were touching the ground.

Once you made it over there, your eyes landed on the now flooded graves. You slowly walked over to them, your eyes widening as you noticed your father's name on one of the tombstones.

It was still standing but one more push and it would fall over. Your eyes filled with tears as you slowly dropped to your knees.

"Dad..?"

You got on all 4s, your hands frantically searching the ground for the part of the ground where he was buried. In Wakanda, there was normally indicators on the ground but none. This wasn't even where his grave originally was.

"No...No, No, NO! DAD! AGH!" You grabbed his tombstone and screamed out of agony. He was gone. You don't even know where his body was buried, you don't even know if it's washed up or not. All you know is that he's gone.

More screams followed as you hugged the tombstone.

"WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?!" You heard Shuri but you couldn't care.

Your sobs and screams of frustration blocked out any bit of dialogue. You felt a hand on your shoulder but that's when you lost it.

You fell over and screamed so loud, purple rays of energy just came bursting out of your body. Everywhere. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see people get thrown back, flying. Some nearby houses collapsed, even some of the water reversed in direction.

And then you collapsed and blacked out, water slowly filling up your lungs once more.

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You woke up to your entire body chained down to the floor. You cough out, some sputters of blood landing on your body bag.

"Take it easy.." You hear a voice say

"You cry in your sleep.." Another voice adds on.

You immediately realize who the voices belonged to. The first was Nakia, the second Riri.

Your lips were beyond dry and you felt drained and weak. That's right, you haven't eaten or drunk anything for weeks, how are you still alive? Because of her.

You turn around to see Nakia, Shuri, and Riri all sitting down, looking at you.

"Y/N you need to eat...please." Nakia begged. You looked at the ground in front of you, there was a fresh plate of jollof rice with plantains and chicken with 2 full bottles of water next to it.

Tempting, but no. You were going to wait it out.

"I don't plan on being here long." You sigh out, looking up, knowing damn well the minute they left you alone, you'd devour it. No matter how angry you are, they're crazy if they think you're going to pass up food, especially your favorite.

"But even if I wanted to eat it, I can't. I'm chained down. Why-"

"Because you're a threat." Shuri said, finally looking up and leaning on her stool. She had a furious look on her face. "What the hell was that out there huh?"

You looked at her like she was crazy, your breaths getting heavier as you tried to remember and collect yourself before sighing. "Oh..."

"Do you have powers? That was some intense shit." Riri said, leaning in slightly as you looked down.

You didn't say anything before Shuri finally spoke out.

"That's what you did to Malia too, wasn't it."

"I didn't touch her." You said annoyed, looking up. That was technically correct. You didn't touch her, she did. The one living in you. It was..complicated.

"Really? Because when you were examined, we found this in your pocket." Shuri said, taking out Malia's phone from her pocket.

"It's a good thing her phone is waterproof. You would've ruined everything on here. Like you always do." Shuri spoke the last part lowly.

You chose to ignore it, you were too tired to argue with her, but you had a point to get across.

"I'm sure she would've loved that.." You mutter under your breath.

"And why exactly is that?" Shuri asked, pretending to be interested in what you're going to say.

"Your girlfriend isn't who she says she is." You start but Shuri rolled her eyes. "She's-"

"I don't want to hear it Y/N, save it for court." She says but your eyes bulge.

"What..? Court?" Confused, you look around as Nakia's head falls.

"You've been charged for treason." Riri informs sadly as you look between the 3 women.

"What?! WHY?!" No one responded and you looked at Shuri, an impatient and demanding look on your face. "What did you do?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"ASK YOURSELF THAT Y/N!" Shuri shouts back at you. She sighed, disgusted as she tapped on her kimoyo beads and then dragged her finger from them, over to the vibranium border between you and the women.

A video played on screen. A video of you, whispering something and then your chains breaking. A video of you, searching in agony for your father's grave while screaming "NO". A video of you, screaming while holding onto the tombstone as purple radiations of energy burst through your body, sending EVERYTHING in your way, even water, flying back.

Shuri paused exactly at that moment as she fast-forwarded to when you passed out. Your mother ran over to you, picking you up and rushing you over to safety but in the background of the video, you could see all the damage you had caused.

"Jesus." Nakia whispered under her breath.

"How did you do that.." Shuri asked you as you whimpered.

You never liked to recall how this comes out of you. You don't like to remember how it happened. You normally keep it deep down and try to forget but it always comes out.

Shuri just exhaled sharply and started walking away before pausing. "Your court hearing is in a week, sharp. Don't be late. We'll decide whether to exile you or execute you." She then turned away and walked up the stairs until she was out of sight.

"Y/N..." Riri started but you looked up at her, your eyebrows furrowed and your face full of determination to be heard.

"No. I will speak and you will listen. Malia isn't who she says she is."

"We know you don't like her...but she's going to be the queen of Wakanda in a possibly few months." Nakia started but you cut her off.

"No, listen to me. Her father is Namor."

This caught the women's attention as they looked at each other and then at you.

"I swear to Bast, I'm not crazy. The day that she was attacked, her phone. I saw her phone on the ground, She was texting her dad and Shuri and Wakanda was in the conversation. They're planning to kill her, you, me, every last one of us. They had childhood pictures and everything. We have to get rid of her."

Nakia closed her eyes before nodding. She understood you. If someone asked her to describe you, she'd use multiple words but she'll never use crazy. You've always knew what you were talking about.

"Riri get your laptop, we're hacking into that motherfucker's phone. If I'm dying in court, she's dying with me"

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Mood.

You walked in the hallways, wearing all white. All white suit, all white nails, hair, makeup. In Wakanda, white is worn to funerals and that was the exact mood you were giving. It's a funeral bitch and everybody's getting buried.

Riri was on your right, Nakia on your left. The Dora Milaje noticed you and opened the doors to the throne room. It was divided like a court room, as always. The chairs, the podium, the desks and the seats for the jury. The judge was on both sides of the throne which Shuri sat upon.

M'Baku, Okoye and Malia were all in the jury as you stepped up to take your position behind the desk.

"Y/N Amadi. Daughter of late Chief Ndozhna Amadi of the Border Tribe." An elder began. "And former fiancee to the present queen of Wakanda, you have been charged with treason for the destruction of property and unexplainable occurrences, thus giving the enemy an upper hand in battle. How do you plea?"

You looked at the jury, M'Baku and Okoye looking with sympathetic looks towards you. Your eyes focus on Malia, she looks straight ahead, confident with a smirk on her face. You can't wait to wipe that stupid look off her dumb face. You look straight ahead, your eyes focusing on Shuri and her body language.

She was wearing all black, as opposed to you. She was sitting in a man spread, relaxing in her throne. Your eyes met and you guys held intense eye contact. She leaned away from you, looking at you like you were one of the low people. You turn back to the elder and judges, speaking on the mic.

"Guilty. On my own admission."

Everyone gasped but you chuckled to yourself, your eyes closing momentarily as you looked down, to the side and then back up.

"But I'm not the one who should be standing here tonight.

"I know all your secrets, Malia McKenzie..or should I say Tzultacaj, daughter of K'uk'ulkan also known as...Namor."

Whispering filled the room before it ultimately fell silent, all eyes landing on Malia.

Immediately her face dropped, a panicked expression once replacing a confident one.

"I- I- I- I don't know what she's talking about.." She stuttered nervously, placing a smile on her face that constantly dropped.

"What you're looking at now." You say and on cue, Riri pulled up all the receipts, the pictures, messages everything. "Are conversations and evidence between Tzultacaj and her father, furthermore proving that she is the enemy and I was right, once again."

The texts talking about overthrowing and killing Shur all bold and highlighted.

"What do you plea?" You ask boldly, looking her dead in the fact. You had won. A few moments of silence filled the room as Malia looked down, tears escaping her eyes.

"Don't cry now bitch, own it. Own that shit. You played yourself, congratulations." You add onto your previous statement, a smile leaving your lips, showcasing some tooth gems you had put on that morning.

A phone call between Malia and Namor filled the silence of the room, replacing her sobs.

Namor: And what is the best way to get in daughter?

Malia: Out back, don't go for the water borders, if you really want to surprise them you're going to have to get on land. They give me a lot of crazy and information around here it's crazy.

They shared laughs as Namor continued.

Namor: And how is your girlfriend?

Malia: Fiancee now. We're getting married soon. Once I get that crown, you make your move. I got her exactly where I wanted.

Namor: You got it?

Malia: Yup.

You turned to Shuri who looked enraged at this information. Her chest heaving, moving up and down rapidly with each breath.

"Malia is this true?" She asked, looking at her girlfriend enraged who immediately broke.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry baby, I- I just didn't want to want to disappoint my daddy and my country and...I ended up falling in love with you, I love you so much baby please.." She sobbed and cried.

Immediately, Okoye stood up, along with a few other Dora Milaje warriors and they handcuffed her, holding her in place.

"Sedate her." Shuri said coldly.

"NO! NO! NO, NO, BABY PLEASE!" Malia screamed and thrashed around, more warriors joining in to hold her down.

Eventually, they had her head down on the table. Your mother was handed the syringe and as she was about to inject it in your neck, she paused.

Her hand slowly lowered as her eyes widened. She slowly reached her hand out, placing it on Malia.

"What are you waiting for?!" Shuri asked impatiently. "SEDATE HER."

Your mother shook her head. "I'm sorry your highness I cannot do that for the woman..."

"is with child."

She reached her hand out to touch Malia's stomach and your face immediately dropped.

"What?"

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

[magma-frog0]

Ponyboy Curtis X FemReader

I copied this from my Ao3.

word count:873

Warnings: Periods (if that scares you idfk), cursing, period comfort, Overprotective Sodapop.

You were sitting in your boyfriend's room on his bed reading a book he let you borrow. He came back with some drinks and set them on the table, "hey I'll be right back with the snacks," he said smiling before he left to go back to the kitchen. You got up to get your drink but when you looked back at where you were sitting you saw a huge red stain. Before you could comprehend what was happening your boyfriend came back. "Hey, I have the snacks- What the hell are you doing?" He asked. Before he came into the room you covered the stain with your hands.

"Oh, you know- I was just... umm?" You tried to make up an excuse, but he already caught on.

"You started your period, didn't you?" He cut you off.

"Nooooo-" you started again.

"Babe the blood is on your pants," he said, crossing his arms. You turned around and put your hands up like you just committed some horrendous crime.

"Fine, you caught me," you said in a semi-dramatic voice. "I didn't know it would start today, shit and I didn't think to bring any spare clothes or pads," you said, worry flooding over you. Ponyboy stood there for a second, his eyes wide.

"I don't have anything either," he said, pacing around the room.

"Ponyboy, it's okay. Don't freak out on me," you said walking up to him. He stopped and looked at you.

"Too late! I'm freaking out!" He yells. You heard someone running upstairs, Sodapop came into the room.

"Guys, what's all the ruckus about-"he stopped dead in his tracks. He saw the blood on the bed, Ponyboy pacing around the whole room, and you trying to calm him down. "What the fuck is going on?" He asked.

"Y/N started her period! She doesn't have any pads or tampons! We don't have anything for periods in the house!" Ponyboy starts rambling. Sodapop has general confusion plastered on his face. He walks up to Ponyboy and shakes him a bit.

"Ponyboy, calm down! I have a plan," Soda says, holding onto Pony's shoulders. Ponyboy looks at him as he goes on, "I'm going to leave to get some stuff for Y/N, and you are going to switch the sheets out," he explains. He then looks at you "and for you, I'm going to get you a towel you're going to have to sit on that till I get home. Do you have any spare clothes by any chance?" when you shook your head no, he let out a long sigh. "Okay, then you'll just have to wear Pony's," he said, leaving the room for a minute to grab you a towel. He handed it to you and went on. "I'm going to go to the store now, I'll be back in 10," he said leaving.

When he left Ponyboy got to work taking off the dirty sheets and replacing them with new ones. "Here, sit-down Y/N," he grabbed the towel from out of your hands and put it on the bed. You sat down and put your head on his shoulder, you guys passed the time by talking about the book you were reading. "I'm sorry for freaking out earlier," he said quietly.

You just laughed. "It's fine Ponyboy, you were just shocked that's all."

"Yeah, you're right, it's still embarrassing though," he chuckled.

"Who do you think is more embarrassed? Me who literally bled all over your bed, or you?" You smiled.

"Yeah, you're right," he said. You both heard the door slam and jumped up.

"Guys, I'm home!" Sodapop yells, running up the stairs with a bag of things. He started taking them out one by one, "okay, so I got pads, tampons, chocolate, and Tylenol."

"Awe thanks Sodapop," you said, giving him a hug.

"No problem," he said joyfully. "You might want to take a shower and get comfortable," he said smiling before he left.

Ponyboy was looking through his clothes to find you something to wear. He pulled out his tee-shirt, sweatpants, and his boxers. "Here baby, go take a shower. I'll be here waiting for you," he said, handing the clothes to you. You took the clothes, and the things Soda bought you in the bathroom. You took a warm shower and put on the clothes and popped a Tylenol pill. You went back to Pony's room; he was laying on his bed reading a book. You crawled on the bed and laid on his chest. "Why hello there," he chuckled, putting the book aside. "You tired baby?" he asked.

"Mhm," you moaned sleepily.

"Okay then," he said, rubbing your back and falling asleep.

"Soda, we have to wake them up, they have been asleep for 3 hours-" Darry says standing over the both of you.

"Darry, I swear to God if you even think about waking them up. You. Will. Never. See. The. Light. Of. Day. Again." Sodapop said in a threatening tone, glaring at Darry.

"Yep, you know what? I want to live so Imma just leave and finish up dinner-" he says in a worried tone leaving the room.

"Good choice," Sodapop smiles, leaving the both of you to rest.

[spacebeyonce]

Sorry for dumping in your inbox again haha, but anyways-- just rn I came across a post on my dash about how it's the reader's duty to check tags, and that you shouldn't attack fanfic authors for "writing stuff you don't like" (ie proship nonsense lol), and while I do agree that it's always important to check tags thoroughly; I kept thinking about how many times I came across disturbing content, that WASNT tagged, and it was making me think, "if this wasn't tagged, don't I have the right to be upset about it being included?"

For example, my special interest is specifically Kaeya, an Indian character from genshin impact. On the rare occasions that I read fanfic, it's usually one shots of them-- however SO many fanfics end up describing kaeya in the most racist or fetishy way imaginable, or have characters say or do racist things towards them! And look-- I can handle kaeya fics involving racism (hell, I even write some for my friends and I to discuss!!!), however those fics are usually exploring racism as a THEME, and how it impacts the character! Most fanfics though? Absolutely don't do that!! And the racism is literally NEVER tagged!! There's no warning of kaeya being called a fucking "caramel twink" or have their brother say racist shit to them! There's none of that! Idk...

TL;DR ppl don't understand that you can't trust authors to tag everything/not to be pieces of shit, and that it shouldn't be reader's fault for stumbling across untagged shit that upset them + genshin fans suck ass lol

oh don't apologize! I enjoy talking to new people!

but yes most fic writers are fucking atrocious when it comes to tagging, and oh how they bristle when you ask them to tag something more appropriately. it's why the 'creator chose not to warn' tag is so....pointless to me??? that shit is my enemy. like warning readers about a topic or theme that might trigger them is common courtesy imo. and if your story can't stand without you making the triggering content be a surprise then like...that's a skill issue I fear. it's always 'fic writers don't owe you anything' and all this attitude but then that attitude is gone when our hard work isn't recognized the way we want.

like I can understand being like 'fic writers don't owe you anything' when it's someone that's telling you the direction your story should go, or constantly demanding updates and not like....idfk interacting with this thing you're making as it comes. I get that! but this is kinda supposed to be a community, and communities build each other up and call us in when needed...so maybe we should be open to more than just blind uncritical praise. but what do I know!

but yes, they are never, ever going to tag for racism like that. when it's how you write it, in EXPLORATION AS A THEME then hell yeah it'll be tagged. but when it's racial fetishization, or an irrational bashing fic towards a character of color...no, no. that'll never get tagged. you can certainly bring up why it's hurtful to the author, but chances are high that won't go suuuper well. 'cause I mean...the last few weeks have really reminded me that when it comes to racism fandom is just stupid as hell about it so what else can we expect lmao.

but yeah I feel your pain so hard. every time I hear about the genshin fandom it's when they're doing something racist so. I'm sending a prayer up for your strength lmao. I hope you've got a good community of color around you there because man it sure helps you feel less fucking insane.

[mothguy34]

Hi my frinends call me Chris

and this is where I dump everything I like with no real theme, you may find this pinned post perfectly reflects that. I'm czech and as such I speak Czech and English fluently. I am also learning Spanish and have a great interest in Latin and Italian, which I am also very casually learning.

BLOG WARNING: There's a good chance I will reblog insects without tagging, as well as suggestive art or non sexual artistic nudity and blood or injury. If you don't want to see these, it's best you do not follow me. I rarely think before I reblog and cannot guarantee anything, even if I was actively trying to tag.

About me: -I like to draw and research stuff that interests me.

-I am a bigender transsexual male, any gendered terms are fine for me. I dislike exclusionists and generalizing other people within the trans community, but I'm happy to explain anything - about myself only - to the occasional curious onlooker whether it's trans related or not :3.

-I use a lot of sexuality labels interchangeably for fun just because idfk what applies to me either, I probably fall under the asexual umbrella somewhere too, but I have a job so idrc about that rn (translation: I'm in a ldr and it's not relevant to my life) -I'm vegan-ish as in that's what I buy and cook for myself, but I still live with my parents so sometimes I scavenge their scraps or leftovers out of the fridge - it is primarily for environmental reasons, but I really enjoy the food I make so far and I like cooking, always happy to exchange recipes.

-I also like horses it is a recently rekindled (by rdr2) childhood interest.

-I consider myself to be religious, but I have a personal belief system that is not tied to any specific organized religion.

-If you'd like to talk I'm always open to DM.

Interests: -I love music of most genres and discussing it, but primarily I am a fan of various rock and metal subgenres and to a lesser extent rap but almost all I know about rap I learned from my girlfriend. I get real specific with what makes me tick and what bores me however. Lately I listen to a lot of old folk music, blues and americana.

-I am a massive vocaloid fan. My all time favorite producer is Kikuo, I have been a fan of his work for maybe 7 or 8 years now. I am also very fond of Pinocchio-p and various others. My favorite vocaloid overall is Meiko, but flower might be my favorite voicebank wise. -I'm a fan of many a videogame including but not limited to Fallout (I specifically like 1 2 and New Vegas but I can enjoy the others and talking about them) FFXIV and Elder Scrolls, those are probably the main ones I'm obsessed with. I'm currently REALLY big into pjmoon, Lobotomy Corporation rly hit the right spot for me gameplay wise and I keep up with Limbus Company story (except canto VI due to ruina spoilers), though I have not yet touched Ruina. I also like Neuro-sama. I don't really watch other vtubers, though I do like some of their non-stream content sometimes. If you ever want someone to raid with on FFXIV or do literally anything with especially if youre new to the game or high end content pleaseeee hmu it will be so fun but also hmu about your wol lore Im obsessed with it you could be a completely random ass stranger with 0 posts and no profile picture but I have to hear about your catboy especially if you want me to dump wol lore on you also. My favorite FFXIV character is probably Hermes as far as actual writing goes, but I have a folder for Asahi made up entirely of in game screenshots that contains let me check yeah 961 images so that's a fun fact about me, there really isn't a whole lot to his character but that never stopped me before. (I'm currently on a short break from FFXIV, but I am continuously working on character lore and working on making a WoL comic.) -Other than games other fandom stuff I like is a lot of animated shows. I love watching moe and anything cute and high energy, aside from that to list my favs I really like Gintama, MP100, Mushishi, Kino's journey, Mononoke, K-On, Bocchi, Eizouken I also like One Piece (watching the anime atm), but I have some polarizing opinions on the anime I think Im gonna switch to the manga frankly. And yea Jojo but Im mostly an anime only, part 4 is probably my favorite but Joseph is my favorite protag. I love Arcane, but Ive never touched League of Legends, I just watch the cinematics. I'm also a Futurama fan, it was my fav childhood show I've seen it maybe 5 times and I still like it now. Also I like hxh a lot and my all time favorite character in any visual medium ever is Illumi but I hate Hisoka and have all tags related to him blocked so life is hard for me sometimes.

-As for manga Im reading Witch Hat Atelier, Spy X Family, Ya Boy Kongming! part 7 of Jojo and Golden Kamuy rn mostly, I'm not much of a manga reader as reading anything online bothers me. I love Junji Ito's works. I haven't read very many other comics recently, only Watchmen and V for Vendetta, which I thought were good. My all time favorite manga is Shimanami Tasogare. -Been watching X Files, Twin Peaks and Columbo and I'm a fan of all of the above. I've already seen Twin Peaks once, but I was a child and didn't get it and don't remember anything and my girlfriend rarely wants to watch it with me but Im tryiung to force them. Many such cases. -I love reading, lately I really enjoy Camus, also I read Hesse's Demian the day before I had top surgery and it left a strong impression which I pondered over when waking up from anesthesia, so now that book is very dear to me as a result. I have been raised to have a positive relationship with literature, so just being around or discussing books can make me happy, though I tend to alternate between an infinite amount of them and struggle to finish them, which is the same thing I do with all media teehee. I've liked E. A. Poe basically my entire life. I also like reading plays and poetry, I'll read basically any form of writing so go ahead and send me recommendations! But keep in mind I have a lot of classics to catch up on, so I don't read much recent literature. I also will not read fanfiction unless it was written by somebody I care about. I'm open to reading VNs and have read a few of the popular ones, but I already have some on my backlog and am currently reading through Subarashiki and Slow Damage (Towa as a character rly resonates with me so its hard to hate the game despite the rough points but I wouldnt rly recommend it to anybody I dont know well...idk) -I like a lot of movies, but my main passion lies in horror. I am equally passionate about movies I hate however so watch out! I do not criticize the media I consume to bask in my hatred and be negative, I love analyzing things and what I like or dislike about them, but I understand completely if you do not like this as much as I do. I generally tend to be more critical of media that takes itself seriously or is propped up as a masterpiece or something very unique for its respective genre, when it doesn't live up to those expectations. Though I do not consider myself a snob and will often watch bad movies for fun or enjoy things I am critical of. I recently saw all of Little Nicky with my friends and it was a great experience. I think the movie is probably one of the worst I've ever seen in my entire life so do check that out. I'm way too into the SAW franchise, I also recently got into Star Wars (I also love kotor 1 and 2 and play swtor sometimes). My favorite slasher series and some of my favorite movies of all time are Child's Play I am also very passionate about John Carpenter's apocalypse trilogy - everyone knows The Thing but what many people don't know is that he has made 2 other movies which are also as you may have guessed about possible ways the world could end, I adore In The Mouth of Madness one of my favorite movies ever. I also like several czech films/films by czech directors they are very dear to me.

There is definitely a lot I forgot here, I have an interest in way too many things and am also glad to learn about ones that are new to me. So in summary I'm open to discuss basically anything, I enjoy texting new people and learning about people, I absorb it like a sponge, you want to give me your opinion on the industrial revolution? Ok! Yay ❤️ I'm a relatively open ''what you see is what you get'' kind of person, but sometimes I struggle to convey what I'm trying to say. I love my gf and friends - and the world and people in general, though I may slip up and imply otherwise if something makes me mad.

Side note: I don't rly have a DNI but if I don't like your blog I'll just block you. This is generally not personal (although it could be ig) instant block reasons range from tangible reasons I might have to dislike someone (right wing or conservative views, smug person etc) to personal distaste and petty mild annoyances (profile says your AGAB in some form for 0 reason, hard to read typing quirks/grammar, talking about your distaste for bugs under every post that so much as mentions them and so on) or simply filtering out content I don't care to see when filtering tags fails me. If you don't know why I might have blocked you, it's very likely it's just a random small reason and says nothing about you. I like most people and I enjoy keeping it that way so when I get online I try to filter out even speech patterns I dislike, because someone I would roll my eyes at on here could otherwise be my friend in a nuanced setting and I don't want to think badly of them. Also. I don't think proship and anti are coherent enough descriptors so I will say personally I think more or less anything goes except for the sexualization of characters that explicitly look like children or animals. Also, a lot of "dark topics" are just an excuse to use shock value or fetishize certain scenarios but I think that is its own problem and boils down to that piece of media sucking. That said I dont like to/want to engage with people who label themselves as proship as a general pointer. If you actually read this far or like, any of this at all thanks smile. check this out

[certifiedbitch777]

New Year, New Me?

Entry Date: 2/2/2024

I am currently 23 years old. The age I always hear carries the most tribulations for our early 20s, which has pretty much been my pain point as I have no idea what I'm doing in life.

Shocking, I know, right?

Before I got my current corporate job, I had so much passion. I want to try out everything in life. I wanted to be a writer, dancer, singer, actor, psychologist - Shit, I even tried to do IT because why the fuck not? I had so much energy and drive I felt like I could conquer the world. And yet, here I am now, and I have no passion, interest, or drive. I'm literally just floating in life right now, not knowing what the fuck to do next.

I'm in survival mode, to be honest. The only thing that is hardwired into my brain is the goal of getting this shmoney.

Despite all this, I still feel lazy since I have no ambition for anything outside of money. My mind is plagued by what I should and shouldn't do and all I can land on is 'I don't fucking know :|'. 

Regardless of this unclarity and lack of ambition, I only want a clear sense of direction. I want to get going already, but I don't know what steps to take. Again, I understand I'm only 23 years old, but still. I need that clarity to take action on a path I know I will be satisfied with, but once again IDFK.

There's no way around this phase at this point; It's inevitable. The only thing I guess I can implement is going on a deep assessment of my life (once again) and reviewing what is and isn't working for me. I've just been avoiding doing this because it is tiring and tedious.

Fuck, maybe I'm just being lazy.

I mean, tbh, it isn't fun; It just sounds like a load of work.

Damn, I think I'm lazy...

I mean, they say it takes 30 to 60 days to break a habit. I'll start looking into my bad habits and see what I can get out of that. 

Here's a list of my current shitty habits that I'll be challenging:

Sleeping before or at midnight: My sleep schedule is terrible for a variety of reasons, but I want to start sleeping before midnight to practice better sleeping habits. For reference, I typically stay up until 3am despite working in the morning.

Waking up before 8am: Okay, so this is mainly to be able to study for my permit (Yes, I'm 23 and don't know how to drive. Who's gonna check me??) and work out. This will also allow me downtime after work (5pm).

Consistent Oral Hygiene: Okay, before y'all supposedly clean freaks call me gross, I'm not saying I don't brush my teeth. I do, and twice a day at that, along with using my Therabreath mouthwash. I just need to be consistent with flossing, specifically at night. I've been getting better at it, but I want to implement it into my daily routine.

Taking Daily Medications: I suck at consistently taking my mood stabilizers, as it just makes me feel dreary and sleepy throughout the day. Since I stopped taking it consistently, my mood hasn't been the best. Needless to say, I'm not gonna do that anymore.

Working Out: I've been athletic for as long as I can remember. However, in recent years, I've been on and off and want to get back to having a snatched waist with a phat dumpy. I'm already comfortable with my current size, but to be back in shape wouldn't hurt. I think I'll be sharing my journey with pictures every so often so that you guys can have a realistic peek into my journey.

Eating Habits: I need to eat healthier, PERIOD. I don't have the worst eating, but it's terrible for me because I'm very impulsive with food and suffer from an eating disorder. I have toggled between binging and starving myself many times in the past, so I want to try to find that sweet spot where I can eat healthily and not feel deprived to the point where I binge.

Prioritize Health: Both physical and mental. I suck at this and, at times, can let work take a toll on my everything. Last year almost broke me, and I don't want this year to be the same. I need to be happy and healthy. No comprising at all.

So yeah, that's my list. Once again, I'm just going to point out I am a lazy girl and I have terrible habits, however, I do want to make a change because I'm really tired of this loop.

I want to reach all of my financial, personal, and career goals this year so badly. The good thing is I have some steps to outline what I need to change. The challenge is pushing through to get the end result :\

Anyway, I will most likely post my initial progress for my journey for working out and do bi-weekly check-ins to track my progress.

This may sound corny, but New Year, New Me?

[starinthenightskyy]

Intro and rules

So uhh, i've had a blog before but I decided to make a fresh start because I felt like I needed something.. new? Idfk but here's my into + rules!!

My name is Oliver, but I also like to go by Star bc why not. I will not be stating my age, as I do not feel comfortable, but know that I am a minor. I would prefer that only other minors request smut because I am willing to write it, but I do not feel comfortable with adults asking me. If you don't realize I won't get mad. Also just scroll if you're not comfortable with reading a minor's smut, don't harrass me because I assure you, you will feel much better if you just talk to your therapist about it if it affects you so much. I am mentally ill myself, and cannot deal with harrassment. Just keep it between you and your therapist if you feel affected by it, please. (I don't even mean that to be rude, for the sake of both of our mental health, please just move on)

That was kind of a rant and I apologize so uhhh, I use any pronouns and I'm genderfluid, abrosexual (it means my sexuality is fluid and changes over time) demisexual/romantic, and polyamorous!

I have trouble with tone so please be patient with me, as I am autistic.

Alright, that was a lot to write, moving on!

RULES!!

First off, here are fandoms I will write for.

Genshin impact

Pokemon

Hunter x Hunter

Madoka Magica

Ride the Cyclone because yes

Thats all for now because thats the main stuff I'm interested in at the moment, but I guarrantee you it will change

FEEL FREE TO REQUEST ANY FANDOMS, I WILL TELL YOU IF I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT OR NOT!!

Alright heres what I know I will write

Fluff

Smut

Angst

literally any type of fanfic

Alright, now here's what I will not write under any circumstances

anything with rape or non-con. specifically explicit fics about it where it's romanticizing it in a sense. I will write it in a way that it simply mentions it, but does not focus on it

Most yandere stuff and anything like it. Just not really my thing

The majority of kinks are allowed, except for age and race play, as they both make me uncomfortable

I will write all angst even if it's extremely dark, although in the rare case im uncomfortable with whatever you're requesting I will let you know'

Yeah I think thats all! I may add more eventually but here's the start!

Thanks for reading and please request pls pls pls I love when I get requests

Have a great day!!

[nialltlynch]

Mid-Year Book Freakout

@flitwickslittlebrotha tagged me so i gotta, thank u bee 💖💖

Best Book You've Read So Far in 2022?

cheating and saying our wives under the sea for how indelibly kk it was and also the locked tomb series for being. oh my god how to say...... well, all of that (reverent)

Best Sequel You've Read So Far in 2022?

harrow! thee! ninth! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! that book!!!!!

New Release You Haven't Read Yet, But Want To?

i literally have no idea what was released this year but uhhhhh didn't ocean vuong release a new poetry collection? is the last book in the founders trilogy out yet ?? one of those probably.

Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2022?

off the top of my head: greywaren, the atlas paradox, and nona the ninth. actually.... those are the only ones im aware of being released.

Biggest Disappointment?

not really a dissapointment but i was very glad to be finished with speak easy not because it was like. bad per se. but it was a bit of an uphill trek to get through it.

Biggest Surprise?

negative space!! i went in knowing nothing at all and was enthralled.

Favourite New Author?

i don't know about favorite but i'm keeping an eye on julia armfield, catriona ward, and tamsyn muir

Newest Fictional Crush?

literally all the bitches in the locked tomb series...... i cannot choose just one. but ooooh the tridentarii. ooga booga

Newest Favourite Character?

if i had to play this by the rules and pick just one: harrowhark nonagesimus 🥰🥰

Book That Made You Cry?

negative space. i was in such a weird, overly emotional headspace when i read it so it really got to me okay?

Book That Made You Happy?

wowwwwww i am looking through the few book i've read this year and none of them are all that lighthearted or fun reads that make you feel good. whoops! closest is probably smoke gets in your eyes which was fun and kind of brainless (pun not intended..... punintended)

Favourite Book Adaption You Saw This Year?

i don't know that i've watched any (new) book adaptions this year but hey listen did you know that the movie drive (2011) featuring ryan gosling (you know with the scorpion jacket and the stunt moves) was based on a book?? i was unaware. i got the book and flipped through it and unless the author, who appears to be a well known pulp writer to begin with, was doing a tongue in cheek satire-esque thing then it was bad and i have no interest in reading it :))

Favourite Review You've Written This Year?

i don't usually write review but look at this lol

Most Beautiful Book You Bought So Far This Year?

hehe..... :^)

What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year?

idfk bro give me some recommendations. i haven't read anything all month. blahh.

[camillewasthere]

february 18

I made it back to my tumblr. I've been writing sporadically in different journals. But somehow I always find myself back here lol. I'm officially a single gal. Big wowzers. Honestly. I'm proud of myself for going through with it. I want to say that I regret not doing it earlier but I'm trying to be better about not regretting things. We were together almost 7 years but it honestly felt like 4. The pandemic really prolonged things. It's easy to go over all the things that could have been different if I did so and so earlier or took the other direction in the fork but none of that matters because this is now. All I can worry about is now. Not even worry, really. But think. Now is all I have.

My mental space has cleared a lot. But now it's consumed by other issues. I got a pap at my recent appointment with my new pcp and I officially need to get a leep procedure in April lol. Is it weird that i'm not even stressing. As much as it sucks, I'm glad that I caught it this early. Hopefully it's something that just goes away after that but who knows. What's the point in stressing about outcomes I have no control over currently. That's only semi-true. Technically I can boost my immune system to make myself less susceptible. I'll get there eventually. Right now, my head is one big jumble of things I need to do. Different roads I can take and which one sounds best. I'm so so so so torn right now. I love my dogs. I would never be able to just give them up. So I'm stuck. I'm trying to reframe my mindset though. Why do I feel stuck? Is it because I feel held down by them? What is my alternative? Being lonely but with more money. Is that better? It's hard to say. But I know they love me. They rely on me. Just like kids rely on their parents. I'm not fucking evil lol. So I need to be responsible and just figure it out. I know I will but the thought makes me anxious. The only way it would work and I would feel comfortable is if

1) I pick up one extra shift a week

2) I move to the bay area and make almost double what i'm making

3) Move to Hawaii

4) Find someone reliable to help me (aka a family member)

5) Find my dogs a step dad LOL

It's only been about three months since the breakup but it feels like it's been longer to be honest. 2023 literally felt like a year squeezed into a few months. Who the fuck was I even. I'm trying to find the person I used to be, but now with added wisdom lol. I don't feel old at all. But sometimes I see people a few years younger than me and think shit. I'm getting to the point where I'd be dating full ass adults. Like 35+ year olds. Fucking barf lol.

I just want to be youthful forever. This brings back the conversation about kids lol. Fuck kids honestly. I used to be so scared of the time constraint. But deciding in my head that it's okay if I don't have kids is liberating. Why have them. I have family. I have my sister and my brothers. And possibly a future husband/partner idfk.

I've been feeling very apathetic about it all, which is fine. I really enjoy focusing on myself. As uncomfortable as this has all been, it's also been beautiful. I'm learning a lot about myself and what I expect out of my life. I enjoy my own company, truly. We'll see where i'll be in my next update. As much as I love the idea of dating someone new, I also mentally can't imagine it lol. Lori and her boyfriend are trying to set me up with a close friend. Unfortunately for me, i'm the biggest fuckin creeper known to man and I stalked his profile pretty heavily LOL. As embarrassing as that is. Old Camille would act on impulse probably. Do things to force an outcome. New Camille is realizing that I'm worth more than that. I'm not going to be the person who obsesses first anymore. I want someone who wants me the way that I used to want other people. I deserve that for myself. Anything less than is just not worth my time anymore. I'm so tired of wasted time.

xx me

[reilleclan-blog]

They just don't make hyper-fixations like they used to

I'd say I should "hyperfixate" on my craft but my craft is just video gaming these days no motivation for anything else. Photo mode just so happens to be a joint thing with my new hyperfixation, Cyberpunk 2077 but cyberpunk is a very taxing hyperfixation the mods, already have my startup screen lagging and I felt I only downloaded like 3gb of mods?

Anyways um yeah I'm still breathing ig maybe I should actually do something on the weekend. A "purpose". I do a job I find "helpful" (helping older ppl) but once I clean up I'd rather just go home, I go home and then I'm sitting at home listening to my mom yell about shit or yell at me then I game to focus on anything else, or sleep and then I sleep and dream about stupid shit like nightmares or what I wish for? I don't really know.

Also I have like 20 cavities but haven't done shit about it *old cringe white guy smiling* like wtf ??

Cowboy bebop, Naruto, Rick and Morty, cyberpunk, samurai champloo, amvs, (idfk) Tokyo ghoul, I just don't fucking know anything

Idk maybe I'm just pressuring myself to have a "purpose" but maybe I should just be happy I'm alive and can even breathe a little longer. Especially the way the world has been looking. Everytime I think about having to get up to work I always have these "existential thoughts" ok bye

Edit: and my phone is glued to my hand or something. I LITERALLY PLAYED "MASS EFFECT" SO I COULD FEEL POSSIBLY WHAT PPL APART OF THE FANDOM FEELS SND I FELT LIKE A "PANG" OF INTEREST AND THAT WAS IT. Is there a correlation to me self diagnosing myself as adhdautistic? So many questions. I just watch tv shows just to pass the time mostly, most movies are just so formaliac, I have a hard time fully enjoying something. Ig if I watch with friends but still. I find myself mostly watching comedies on my alone time, Bob's burgers is just classic, and Rick and Morty still funny but I've watched it so many times. I have been making yt videos lately but then I have to remotivate myself to make yt videos again and I feel I only be having energy just for the gaming part so I stream stuff. (And i enjoy it) but then the depression sets in(or the other shit) and then I get upset that streaming isn't going to do anything for me (I'm never making it out the hood) not like I hate the hood but I don't exactly love it either,

Maybe this is just the disease of the impostered black "creatives" I don't fucking know

[knowlessman]

bonko no honko I ran out of good jokes a long time agodemia (bnha)(if I ever had any) s3e1-3

(I forgot about the prequel minisodes but I'm already here, maybe I'll watch them later idk)

ooh this OP's got a pi-aner in it. I dig it. some of the opening bits sort of reminded me of homest - why is bakugo swole wtaf

(void teleport business slenderfrend watching all might on tv) patrick star: I hate this channel -- why IS slendervoid so fucking dapper tho

"worst character? worst-character-in-training?"

…"Vlad" has orc fangs instead of vamp fangs : \ huh

there's that "be a fuck[bleep]ng superstar" thing again. it's so jarring every time -- (going down the list of all of Class A's quirks) …like, yes, we do know all these things already, and it is recycled footage, but I'm not finding that I mind it -- I knew they weren't gonna do the same for Class B's but. I mean. idk

"you said you were gonna use the pool for endurance training, right?" already hovering finger over the right arrow key -- breaking news: anime school has girl's swimsuits that are actual clothes. granted, figures it'd only be for a joke

guy with literal jet engines in his legs: hey, who wants to do a race? -- oh come on, none of you are even touching the water -- iida you fuck 'XD I thought you were the rules guy

(flashback) the bit where deku says "you haven't put a single scratch on me yet" when all of his fingers are broken and todoroki is at full health is still fucking hilarious tbh -- (still flashbacks) "I am the younger brother of a hero you attacked" also still reminds me of that "do you have ANY IDEA how little that narrows it down" meme -- yes, yes, you're all protagonists, this is a recap episode huh

"don't hold back on me, half n half!" "okay" freezes bakugo and deku and wins easily -- (eraserhead butts in) hehehehehehehe -- ("pool's closed, go home") aw dammit, I wanted him to make them do the last race legit 'XD

…has this show been doing these Marvel-ass after-credits scenes this whole time? …well, hopefully it doesn't mean I've been missing any needed context when I didn't watch the credits all the way through

"what, Class A is taking extra classes? did you fail? did you fail?" oh shut up Ditto, I gave up liking you ages ago

who is this Charlie-Brown-side-character looking mfer, what's their deal 'XD

uh…… huh. well, the Jellicles have arrived.

who's the grumpy kid who looks like he wandered in from Bleach. …or Digimon. idfk. he their manager? is he hiding cat ears under that hat?

(wonders something, checks the dub) aw, I can't even comment on what they translated God Explosion Murder (you know, that guy who got kidnapped by the slime monster)'s catchphrase to in English because if I type it here FB will ban me : [ (also I'm too lazy to change these much before posting em to tumblr regardless of what order I do em in)

am here for action banjo I guess

kaminari that thing is literally made of dirt, it couldn't be any more obviously Ground-type wtf

…o-kay. mineta gets a new friend in superhell tier I guess

wheeeeeze 'XD what the fuck, I can't - what - why? fuckin' brat just punched mr nice guy in the balls -- guy whose sole defining trait is bullying deku: "heh, he reminds me of me"

"hey kota, can you bring those vegetables? they have a sticker on them that says Vegetables in English, but don't look at it too closely, you'll get a headache" what did the artist(s?) think we were gonna think was in that box anyway?

ugh, not hot springs, we just did this gag

deku looks pretty darn normal when his head isn't on an anatomy figure : |

yooo, class b's here too, hellyeah

(going through how everybody is trying to level up their powers) all choji and hagukure have to do is hide and seek, huh. all this support tech and all and they still haven't invented anything hagukure can, idk, wear or use that's as invisible as she is or that can become invisible?

swolecat might be okay

secret hideout? isn't that just the cave where they had tokoyami doing his crona-ragnarok training? -- (camera pans to show a hole in the cliff) is kota a cognate for kyle? also is that meme still funny? idk

literally a cenobite. who let clive barker into the writing room, this is a family show. …that occasionally says "fuck" in the background.

dancing boy is waiting for a full party

why does it not surprise me that bakugo's apparently good at cutlery. he probably says "die" in his head as he chops

("bravery test" game thingy) …yeah no I'd better not even try to understand this one, I still haven't gotten around to googling what a cavalry battle is -- "revelry in the dark" kthx sasuke allen poe or wever

'XD they passed up the opportunity to pair bakugo with deku and decided to stick him with half n half instead

is it zombies again. or midnight. -- oh, it's dancing boy making a move. hm.

no after-credits scene this time, only spoilers. maybe it's only for first and last episodes of a season, who knows.

got stuff tomorrow. …I think. stoppin here for now.

[wheresmulder]

Life updates that are depressing af

My best friend's mom died they took her off life support this morning and I wasn't able to be there bc I have the fucking flu.

I'm not gonna be ok for a long time

We all low-key expected it bc she's been in the hospital for 19 days and the last 5 she was in critical condition. They didn't know until yesterday that it was actually the breast cancer metastasized and that was what was causing everything. She had already had the double mastectomy and chemo and she just finished radiation in October. Anyway she was like a second mom to me and I

I just don't know how to lose people anymore like. I think that part of my brain is broken. I can't

I just go into fix it mode. Like if I lose myself in taking care of everyone else I don't have to sit with it

But I'm stuck in my fucking bed with the worst flu (only flu?) I've ever had and all I can do is think like I can't sleep I can't???? I'm useless and I hate it. This is the part where I feel like what is the point of my continuing existence like my life is literally meaningless there is no reason for me to be here I add no value to the world

I know that's just my fucked up brain begging me to euthanize him but he makes good points sometimes like I literally cannot do anything to help the person I love most in the world I can't take her pain away I know I just have to be there to support her but it's so pathetic how little it really means at the end of the day and especially when I'm stuck in my fucking room sick as a dog

Idfk it just really fucking sucks cancer has taken two of the most wonderful people in my life way too fucking soon like. She was only 53. I lost the other person when we were 26. It's the most helpless feeling in the world I think bc literally the best doctors in the world did nothing for her. Prolonged her suffering basically. I'm glad we got more time together but

I just don't know anymore I've been throwing up all morning but I haven't cried yet which makes me feel even worse even tho I know thats rly fucking stupid like obviously grief is weird and nonlinear and it doesn't mean i didn't love her but it still makes me feel like something is wrong with me but that's dumb bc we all already know there is plenty wrong with me like this is not news and anyway what can I do about it I can't make myself grieve differently that's. Fucking weird to even think about. Idk idk im pretty out of it lemme just stop

[delcakoo]

ems.. so I did something embarrassing today and I can't stop thinking abt it. earlier our adviser was speaking and he cracked his voice and I accidentally like, laughed it was a laugh more like a snort and it was so quiet everyone heard it including him, IDK WHY I KEEP EMBARRASSING MYSELF ISTG. I KEEP DOING THINGS THAT'LL STICK WITH ME UNTIL I DIE. but besides that I'm okay, I JUST CANT BELIEVE I COULDN'T HOLD THAT IN, AND BESIDE ME WAS A MALE. HES SOOO ANNOYING. IDK HE PROLLY MADE FUN OF ME IN HIS HEAD CAUSE I LAUGHED. I FUCKINsbfausbfo. sometimes I wish I just disappear. ISTG I HATE ATTENTION THIS IS WHY I HATE ATTENTION. ALSO WHY I DON'T LIKE SPOTLIGHT CAUSE IM AFRAID, OF JUDGEMENT. I'm scared of letting A LOT of people know me cause then they'll know everything and if I embarrass myself or do something wrong they will know they'll see. I WAS RETHINKING THIS WHETHER I SHOULD TELL U OR NOT BUT ISTG I CANT STOP THINKING ABT IT. Idk maybe the ppl in my class prolly forgot abt it but the problem is I can't cause I'm the one who embarrassed myself, I hate embarrassing myself cause it'll stick with me. I'll prolly think about it randomly when going to bed and mentally slap myself. I FEEL BAD FOR DOING THAT TO MY ADVISER. ITS NOT HIS PROBLEM. REALLY, ITS ME IDFK ANYMORE.

I don't know how I'll calm myself, I mean I am calm rn I just can't process anything right now. I'll read your content, watch movies/k-drama, prolly take a nap to distract myself from today😔updating you is actually making me feel better. everyday when I have time to update you and I do, I feel stress relieved. oh and the k-drama I'm currently watching is cheer up, its quite interesting. I saw it on tiktok and wanted to watch it because of the drama😭

anyway, besides that congratulations on 1k!! (forgot to congratulate you earlier) f2f is over for me (for now) how's school? I hope you're okay! 💙

-m💙

LMFKJSNCKJNS MOONIE PLEASE, I TOTALLY GET HOW YOU FEEL BUT I RPOMSIE YOU ONE DAY YOU WILL LITERALLY FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED PLEASE DONT WORRY TOO MUCH. IM TELLING U RN EVERYONE COMPLETELY FORGOT YOU DID THAT LIKE FIVE MONUTES AFTER IT HAPPENED OKAY??? NAHHSHHUSNAH ITS HONESTLY A BIT FUNNY CMON YOI HAVE TO ADMIT. BUT ALSO YES I GET WHAT YOU MEAN, BUT FR THIS IS A UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE 😭 EVERYONE HAS EMBARRASSING MOMENTS THAT RANDOMLY COME BACK T US LATER, ITS OKAY LOVE HSKUSNSN

AWW, im glad updating me calms you down shdjdh yes go watch a new show or smthn!! UGH NGL I HAVENT WATCHED ANY KOREAN SHOWS BESIDES UHH ALL OF US ARE DEAD, SQUID GAME AND SWEET HOME :( I ALSO WATCHED A FEW EPISODES OF SKYCASTLE BUT IT WAS LOWKEY ASS 💀💀💀

AAHH THANK YOU DEAR I APPRECIATE IT!! mmm, schools okay ig 😭 i’m just very bad at studying 😭 i keep procrastinating i’m like “i’ll do my hw later” THEN IT JUST KEEPS GETTING LATER UNTIL I GO TO SLEEP AND THEN I END UP NOT DOING IT 💀💀💀 but uhhh IM SURVIVING (besides gym and math 💀) !!! ✊✊ ON A BRIGHTER NOTE I FINISHED SOME BRAINSTORMING AND BEGAN WRITING MY NEXT LONGFIC WHICH IS GONNA BE FOR JUNGWON !! i’m vv excited, i dunno if it’s gonna surpass behind the net’s word count tho 😔😔😔