jieun-didnt-deserve-that

[woahjo]

im about to say something a little emo but bear with me pls.

i genuinely am happy being single. im okay not having a partner and not doing the things. i love having me time and i love being able to devote my time entirely to myself and my friends and i KNOW that my worth isn't contingent on having a partner or not. but sometimes man, it just gets a little hard. because it's never happened for me yet and because there's a small part of me that doesn't think it ever will. it's not because i need someone else to make me feel fulfilled. i am plenty fulfilled by my own company and by my art and by my hobbies and by my friends. i just want to love, you know? i want to experience loving someone and being loved back. i want to be able to look at someone and love their eyelashes and their smile and their nose and their chin and their shape and be able to tell them that. i want to be able to imagine a future with someone. platonic love exists too and i don't think anything will be able to replace it, but i would like to experience romantic love. i want to know what it's like to care and be cared about that way. but the problem (and the nice thing i guess?) is that im not in any real rush. i'm looking, but im not devoting my time to it, nor do i feel the need to "settle" just to experience it. but it does get incredibly isolating, especially BECAUSE i don't care much about that stuff. idk how else to explain it other than isolating. it seems like everyone i meet has dated or is dating and that seems to be what people want to talk about, while i've never really done any of those things, nor do i know what its like to be cared about that way. and while im okay with the fact that it hasn't happened yet, the insecurity creeps up constantly that it never will.

im not wording properly but it's isolating. i feel very isolated in my experience with romance and dating. and while i have limited experience (strictly sexual, which i have mixed feelings about), i feel like i am too far behind for anyone to take me completely seriously. i need to move slow and it feels to me like everyone moves so fast. at least in my country/state, it feels like "sex first, talk later" and i don't want to do that. it's an isolating experience and the lack of... idk understanding (?) or maybe willingness to learn about me when dating can sometimes make me feel like maybe people think that there is nothing worth knowing or learning.

[keymintt]

more public art! these fellas were printed on vinyl for the sides of a traffic cabinet

[detectivehole]

this is what i sent

this is what i got

[hinamie]

10 years later

[nocek]

And we all should be jelly.

(at least Miguel is so maybe they are closer to that dumb triangle than Wade thought XD)

[cryptocism]

"just as I did, in 1983."

you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable

[noirandchocolate]

Several weeks ago one of my coworkers called me over into her cubicle and gave me a very unexpected gift. Her mother passed away recently, and she'd been packing stuff up at her condo to give to relatives and sell, so the home could be sold. The mother was an avid knitter and crocheter, and when my coworker came upon her stash of equipment, she told me, she "immediately thought of me as someone who might get some use out of it."

So, I have inherited a varied collection of knitting needles and crochet hooks, cable needles, sewing needles, and, best of all, now-out-of-print pattern books, mostly for blankets, because that was what this lady loved to make most. Plus, I also have a bunch of gauge swatches she made, pinned to little bits of card covered in perfect schoolteacher handwriting setting out the patterns they were made to test.

And also...

My coworker brought another bag, full of yarn and...knitted blanket squares. Her mother's last started project, before she got too sick to continue. And she asked if there was anything I could do with it.

It turned out, there are twelve completed squares, and I quickly located the pattern book they are from amid those given to me. It's a book of 60 patterns, meant to be put together however the maker wishes into blankets of 20 squares. I figured out which of the numbered patterns were already made, and selected eight more that I thought might go well with them.

So now! I am working on completing! My coworker's mother's last knitting project!

And I really am feeling very good about doing it.

[proxycrit]

LINKTOBER DAY 19! East Reservoir Lake

The Zora siblings gets that self sacrificing from somewhere, what can I say.

Anyways, the duo absconded with the crown prince. (Alchemist Yona, you’re going to stop them, right? RIGHT??)

This is a Totk au called Familiar Familiar, and it all started when Zelda didn’t get sent to the shadow realm (and everything fell apart from there). Here’s the masterlist!

Patreon here if you like my crimes and want to feed me a treat!

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

[somegurl8]

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

[fluentisonus]

He added, after a pause: “Remember this, my friends: there are no such things as bad plants or bad men. There are only bad cultivators.”

Les Misérables, Volume I / Book V / Chapter III, trans. Hapgood

[puppyeared]

renaissance dogys

characters belong to @canisalbus

[saradiation]

Hey it's that time of the year again :D

HAPPY 413! 🎂

[hinamie]

new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me

[tibli]

I love when arthropods have a pseudopupil. It's so whimsical and cute, and they come in so many varieties!!

little kitty cat eyes!!!

bombastic side eyes!!!!

cartoon character eyes!!!!

bigass anime eyes!!!!!

BE NOT AFRAID eyes!!!!!