#idk about anything else though...
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saiki kusuo accidentally making common sayings/expressions literal by subconsciously activating his powers..
happy/giddy = "feel like im floating/i feel floaty" = actually levitating
embarrassed/flustered = "my face is on fire" = hes actually on fire
shocked = "i froze up/i was frozen in place" = cryokinesis..
angry = "smoke blowing out your ears" = ACTUAL SMOKE
glaring at someone from behind = "burning holes in the back of their head" = actual fucking laser eyes ouch dude
ignoring someone = "giving the cold shoulder" = temperature lowers every time theyre near him
#not an original thought#i know people have written about him accidentally activating pyrokinesis when hes mad or embarrassed before#idk about anything else though...#giggles#sorry this is cringe. im in shackles saiki kusuo literally has me in a chokehold help#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day
It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..
..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what
#I got this compliment once and I was like :3 bc I like compliments. then 4 days later I recognise the name and pfp on#on a tumblr I rlly rlly like bc they're super cool make super cool art and has super cool ideas and I'm just like woah they complement me s#so I search my notifications to find which post they complimented me on and I find out. they're following me. ummm IJWEHFOIWJ#i just can't get over this bc they're literally so cool what#anyways#I got two whole documents of canon dust things and one ao3 of canon things about killer#so I'm learning a way to do justice to the creators image while still putting my own twist on it bc I love fanon and that's how I grew up#I'm literally so passionate about fanon. specifically Gacha fanon bc it's literally so fun and no one else know that#like. literally everyone just like had terrible experience apparently idk how I didn't experience that#am I the only one who knows these characters still had lore Ben though unrelated to anything canon at all#anyways I'm rambling too much whoops#sans au#utmv#undertale au#sanscest#if u want#killer sans#dust sans#kist#if u want...#LOVE affair#teaching myself to use this tag too but eh#did you know Horror is more likely to be a part of the bad Sanses than Dust#Jesus fuck I rambled these tags to hell
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Breaking my silence: I think Zuko’s “I’m angry at myself” explosion in The Beach episode was queer coded
*runs away before I can be booed off the stage*
#zuko#zukka#jetko#or literally anything else#I’m probably not the first person to say this but I haven’t seen anyone say it before#I mean he said himself that he was ‘confused’ and that he ‘didn’t know the difference between right and wrong anymore’#and of course he meant that morally with his realization that the fire nation was wrong#but also…it seems like he’s conflicted emotionally#he was overcompensating with Mai that whole episode#and was very insecure about their relationship even though they weren’ really displaying much chemistry to begin with#like he was trying to force something that was - for the most part - not there#that along with the odd chemistry with Jet and his awkward discomfort with Jin…#idk man#ok I’ll stop yapping now#my post#headcanons and stuff
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do you think it's weird or unfounded to not want to use chat gpt due to the environmental cost? i feel really strongly that i want to completely avoid it (and, like, recreational/work related ai in general) for that reason, but people seem to think this is really weird when i express that as a reason. but i feel like i should be able to make this call if i want to and that's a good reason to not use it. i don't know?!?!?! i don't get anything anymore?!?!?!
#my workplace is really leaning heavily ai#and people keep seeming to think that i too will use it#and i'm always just like 'NO!!!!!!!'#so far no one has pushed me on it and it's not required at all#but idk. is it going to stop being our call & become mandatory one day? D:#because (and i know this sounds so weird) morally i don't want to touch it!#this reminds me of one time when i was in acting class in college#and the prof was out so a TA was teaching#and we were playing a game where everyone had to repeat what everyone else had said and then add something on#and when it got to me i refused to do it because there were a bunch of swear words and i don't -- alas -- cannot -- swear#and i got in trouble with the TA and almost got kicked out of class lol#(but the other students stood up for me so i didn't!)#i get very rigid about things and i'm like 'sorry can't EVER do it!'#the swearing may be. ya know. completely morally neutral.#(though i still don't swear anything that can't be said on old timey network tv! because i'm weird!)#but i feel like i have way more of a case with this chat gpt stance#dollsome's deep thoughts#p.s. does this way of my brain operating suggest some profound neurodivergence?#i often wonder.#society told me swearing was bad when i was a kid and i've internalized it FOREVER.#i said 'shit' once when i was like 10 (in homage to a line delivery from mrs doubtfire!)#and then i cried inconsolably for like two hours and never swore again#(this was totally internally enforced btw. i don't have any memory of any adults ever caring whatsoever.)#even to this very day i wouldn't even swear alone.#does my brain work like that of merricat from we have always lived in the castle? maybe a little.#these tags have gone a lot of places#the point is. i think it's okay to be anti-chat gpt for moral reasons. and also coolness reasons.#and swearing = fine obviously. but not my style.#unless i'm writing and then there's no rules obvi
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Further ways to complicate the Bat family tree: Tim & Damian are close bio relatives but it has nothing to do with Bruce or Ra's. It's that Janet & Talia are half-sisters.
There's no reason Melisande couldn't have had a whole other life before getting involved in Ra's' cult bullshit. We don't know anything about Janet's family from before she married Jack, just that neither of Tim's parents seem to have any extended family. Make Janet into Talia's older half-sister who has no idea she exists, stick the reveal in a routine "And here's how to use the DNA analysis program" training moment, and watch the fireworks.
#Damian places so much emphasis on bloodline but with a heavy focus on the patriarchal side#does he know anything about his grandmother?#would he care about this?#I think Talia and Tim would both care but now know how to COPE with that care#unsure what they mean to each other just that there's SOMETHING#Tim canonically looks a lot like Janet#I'm not sure how much Talia looks like Melisande#but there's a lot of angst potential for Talia staring at Tim and at old pictures of Janet#searching for signs of the mother she lost so young and so traumatically#DC#Batfam#Janet Drake#Melisande al Ghul#Talia al Ghul#Tim Drake#everything is a soap opera around here#oh sidenote this would be specifically PostCrisis PreFlashpoint canon#since I'm pretty sure PostFlashpoint there's something else going on with Talia's age?#idk for sure though
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I love when a character who needs glasses refuses to wear them because they don't want to look like a family member
#or literally anything similar to this if you wanna be silly#this post is about miles edgeworth from the hit game series ace attorney#yeah they can just wear contacts but Iet me have fun with this specific type of angst okay#also about klavier gavin even though there's no examples of her having vision issues that won't stop me it's fun to think about#headcanon#character tropes#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#klavier gavin#idk what else to tag
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a quick isaac sketch today~ 💜 just letting my bestie chill in my lap haha this means nothing for either of us (<- lie)
used this pose from mellon_soup as a reference! <3
#he's so cute i want to hold him in the palm of my hand 😔💗#idk why i thought about him being an NSP fan the other day and it made me giggle bc it's so different from everything else he listens to#just imagining him on the bus and his playlist goes simon & garfunkle > the smiths > red house painters > ... and then cool patrol comes on#anyway im just thinking about him a lot lately 😭😭😭😭😭 i've never posted much about my oc f/o's in the past but i cant resist with him#also imagine if we both went to their concerts in the past but we never crossed paths... oughghh...#isaac would NOT like concerts though so if so he probably only went to One and then said. never again. tbh he probably left early 😭💚#wayyy too many people for him... made him anxious and he felt way too awkward to do anything other than stand there like this 🧍🏻♂️#selfship art#selfship#self ship community#self shipping community#self ship art#caitiearts#isaactag
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SET SIX - ROUND ONE - MATCH THREE

"Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate" (1997 - John Boskovich) / "Untitled" (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)" (1991 - Félix González-Torres)
ELECTRIC FAN (FEEL IT MOTHERFUCKERS): it makes me literally insane that’s all that’s left of him and he made sure it would stay remembered, something something the last trace of a breath immortalized the only way it could be. Feel it, motherfuckers. (courfeyracs-swordcane) (also submitted by callixton and weeweewhirlwind)
UNTITLED (PORTRAIT OF ROSS IN L.A.): It fucks me up SO MUCH. The artist's partner was named Ross, and died of AIDS in the same year this was created. The ideal weight is roughly the average of an adult man. The allegory there... people taking the candy, decreasing the weight, the same way people took away from Ross and every other victim of the AIDS crisis by refusing to help, to do anything at all. Except this has an "endless supply" of candy. People can take and take and it keeps coming back. They can't get rid of us forever. We will prevail and we will rebuild and I WILL be fucked up about this forever (ceaseless-rambler)
("Electric Fan (Feel It Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate" is an electric fan encased in plexiglass with vinyl faux etching and a plexiglass base with casters by gay American artist John Boskovich--Stephen Earanbino's partner. It was the last item left in Stephen Earabino's estate after his death by AIDS and measures 56 7/8 x 22 3/4 x 12 1/2 in. (144.5 x 57.8 x 31.8 cm). It is held by The Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles.
"Untitled (Portrait of Ross in LA)" is a modern art installation consisting of wrapped candies (constantly removed and replaced) by gay Cuban-American artist Félix González-Torres after the death of his partner, Ross, by AIDS. The weight is equivalent to a healthy human male - approximately 175 lbs (79kg). It is located at the Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago.)
#art that fucks you up tournament#polls#atfyu polls#id in alt text#did you know wikipedia has an entire page on Art of the AIDS Crisis#i am SO sorry about this matchup. like genuinely. i am torn.#GOD i cannot express how these two make me feel#feel it motherfuckers. feel his breaths. take the candy and know that we are always coming back. that is him and he is here.#idk how to insert this information but john boskovich was not left anything by his lover's family. the refusal of his love by others...#he only got the fan because no one else wanted it. more in the rbs under my main though.#ross in LA has a lot more propaganda but we're going to cycle it. if it doesn't make it past this round we'll post it all.
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he's the hottest flower boy that popped up on the scene!!!
+ more jon slop(shocker) gave him a twin brother who doesn't look that much like him because I thought it'd be funny..Jon n Job
i could probably scrounge up moar doodles but darn!! img limit...saved by the bell brodites.... I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME
#jon tag...you know for...for jontent..jon..jon content..jontent...#jon enjoying brodites whenever i post him for the 50th time:😱😱🤤🤤🤤🥴🥴🥴😩😩😩#rip everyone else whose waiting on comic continuations or asks...i will get to them eventually...#im cwazy about him .......#ew jon#fucking... ill make a job tag too I GUESS i dont think ill draw him again but whatever lmfao#ewjob#it's short for jobediah yk#jons super secret twin brother whose actually MEAN!?!?!?!!#no one cares but idk if i like him cause his sisters who thing is shes abrasive.but tahts not nearly as interesting#when hes got an ANGRY ANGRY brother too#the angry gene somehow skipped Jon...#not everything else though hes genetically fried#i should be legally forbidden from tagging ew jon on any post ever again#my jon tag gets so much mileage...#eduardos here too but really you should EXPECT him to be in anything i draw
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I do sometimes sit and wonder how things would have turned out if the QSMP eggs had been removed after a month exactly as originally intended. So much would have been different . I wonder if the QSMP would have still been around?
#qsmp#genuinely just pondering#i know for one that there are a few people who would have played more consistently if they were gone#we probably would have got more rubius and mariana#its possible that hideduo might not have happened? even though ramon wasnt there for most of their arc he still had big impact on fits lore#so that might have been different#there probably would have been more collaborative events#the minimes would have had a chance to shine#cellbit and roier might never have married#the original federation lore would have almost certainly stayed on track and not got nearly as messy#idk if there's anything else you can think of that would have changed let me know#it's interesting to think about
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vv roleswap
Vanitas sits cross-legged on his bed, holding Terra’s old practice Keyblade and contemplating the exam’s results. You failed to keep the darkness inside of you in-check. Terra, hesitantly, as if despite himself, had looked at Vanitas, when their master said that.
Vanitas rubs his gloved hand over his mouth, relishing in the scratchy feeling of leather against his soft skin. His thumb brushes the wood grain of the Keyblade, idly.
Vanitas ponders the ways of the light and the dark. Terra and Vanitas have always been close; and what is Vanitas, if not ineffably tainted by the dark?
He chokes on the thought, attempting to swallow it and the emotions it conjures. He cannot allow himself to make an Unversed. Vanitas is being foolish; foolhardy, as his Master would say. He has to keep better control of his wandering thoughts; a focused mind leads to a focused heart, and only with focus can Vanitas overcome the darkness inside of him.
And then there’s a wooden knock on his doorway. Expecting Aqua, or maybe the Master, Vanitas tosses the practice Keyblade onto his bedspread with more force than it probably requires, raising his head somewhat miserably, to look at—
Vanitas goes very, very still.
A boy stands in the open doorway, standing prim and tall. He’s dressed in… some kind of armor, Vanitas decides. It doesn’t look like metal, but it doesn’t look like cloth either. Not quite flesh, though something about it feels… organic. Bright, gleaming white, it hugs the boy’s torso, covering him from the tips of his fingers to the spiked, jagged helmet that covers his face.
He’s standing with one hand behind his back, and he raises the other in a jaunty wave. He bobs excitedly in place, leaning his weight on his heels.
It sort of reminds Vanitas of when he… no, that can’t be right. But there’s something about this boy, something that has him freezing still like a rabbit standing before a predator. An Unversed tugs itself from his chest, bubbling up from the pooling darkness at Vanitas’ feet.
A Hareraiser rises from the ground, formless purple turning into a rabbit, red eyes crying, holding onto its own ears. Vanitas feels his fear ebb, halfway to being calm. Swallowing the immediate rush of guilt and regret that tastes like bile, he fixes his gaze on the stranger.
He stands from his bed, falling into a combat position. The masked boy pays this no mind, though. Instead, he bends a little at the waist and coos. “Oh my,” he gasps, reaching out for the Unversed. “Aren’t you just the cutest little thing!” It flinches away from his outstretched fingers, skittering across the wooden floor. It hides behind Vanitas’ shins, making tiny noises.
“Who are you?” Vanitas snaps, making his voice as authoritative as he doesn’t feel.
The mask tilts, until it's faceless visage is looking at Vanitas, and not the Hareraiser. “So that’s seriously your Negativity? That’s so cool,” he sighs, forlorn and breathless, like he’s genuinely jealous of Vanitas’ Unversed. “Oh, sorry!” He chirps, straightening up suddenly. “Where’re my manners?” He hooks his hands underneath his helmet and pulls it off, revealing—
—something about his face is making Vanitas’ head spin. Spin and spin, like someone’s attached a rope to his heart and is tugging on it, incessantly. Something is making Vanitas’ chest feel hot and his fingers twitch. Viciously, he pushes it down. Shoves it back down and stomps on it, pulling on his memories of his Master’s advice for strength.
“You have to be in control, Vanitas,” Master Eraqus had said, three years ago now, eyes stony with seriousness. “You can never, ever let your heart run wild.”
It helps, a little. It makes him feel more grounded, present in his body. He is the master of his emotions, and one day, he will be free of his darkness. He just has to remember that.
Unbeknownst to Vanitas’ disparate emotions, the boy beams wide. His cheeks are ruddy with a youthful vigor that Vanitas lacks, and his green eyes sparkle like gems. There’s something bright, about his eyes, about his teeth. Like they’re backlit by the setting sun, just enough to make them gleam.
Blonde hair bounces as he sticks his hand out to shake. “I’m Ventus!”
He doesn’t want to touch this boy; something is telling him not to touch him. Something in the heart-pounding fear rattling his chest. Except for— something in him wants nothing more than to touch him. To feel— skin unlike Vanitas’ own. Unperturbed, Ventus drops his hand, grinning wide.
“I can’t believe myself! My master would have my head for being so rude!” He laughs, cheerful and bubbly, shaking his head. He thumps the heel of his hand to his forehead, expression sheepish. “That’s no way to introduce myself, is it? Especially not to someone who could become a friend.”
He drops his hand, and something about his entire cadence changes. His expression sharpens, though it doesn’t change; his smile goes from sheepish to wicked between one blink and the next. “Because we are going to become friends, aren’t we…” there’s something leading in his tone, halfway sweet and halfway… something else. “…Vanitas?”
Vanitas’ fingers go cold, and before he can swallow the feeling, another Hareraiser is rising from an inky puddle at his feet. Then two more, rising into existence as if formed from the shuddering in his chest, the pounding of his heartbeat.
“How do you know that?” Vanitas asks, sharply. Another Hareraiser, and only then does the fear fade. “Tell me how you know my name.”
Ventus’ eyebrows climb to his hairline, a smile frozen to his face. “I know a lot,” he says, shrugging like this is… like this is nothing, a casual discussion, a joke. He smiles like Vanitas is an idiot, fluttering a hand. “‘Cause, the thing is… I’m not from here.”
Vanitas stares at him, blankly.
Grinning, Ventus extends a finger towards Vanitas’ window. Not just his window; at the sky. The stars. Other worlds. He’s from… he’s from away. He’s from outside.
Vanitas wasn’t born on the Land of Departure. Nobody is; the Master welcomes those with the aptitude to wield a Keyblade, or he gifts them with the aptitude. Aqua and Terra don’t ever talk much about their life before coming here, but he knows there’s nowhere for them to return to. Why would there be? Their home is here.
Except, Vanitas wasn’t born here. His memory is— infamously— spotty, but he remembers… not a desert so much as just dirt, dirt devoid of life. Scraping against his soft, bare palms; hard dusty rock that spat clouds that made him choke. Flashes of sheer brown cliffaces, and the taste of his own blood.
“You’re from outside…” Vanitas says.
Ventus laughs like that’s just so funny, shoulders shaking and chest shuddering. He laughs like nobody Vanitas has ever met, like his laughter buoys him, elevates him, makes him better. And something burns in Vanitas— something between this boy’s face, and his laugh, and his name.
Wait.
The only other Keyblade Master— the man Master Eraqus had called his good friend— who’d come to oversee Aqua and Terra’s exam… he was from outside, too. This boy had joked about a master, maybe even a Master.
Vanitas says, “Master Eraqus said Master Xehanort didn’t have an apprentice.”
Ventus’ expression snaps to Vanitas, and for the first time, something truly ugly flashes across his face. And then it’s smoothed out, turned into something gentle and soft and a little mocking. “Well… if you spend all your time locked up here,” he shrugs a shoulder, giving a gentle smile. “What’dyou know?”
Vanitas doesn’t look down to see whatever Unversed that statement spawns; he just stands there, almost stutters out of his combat stance, and then forces himself to summon his Keyblade. Void Gear is heavy in his hand, and he holds it in front of himself defensively.
Ventus’ eyes fall onto the Keyblade, and then flick back to Vanitas’ face. “Funny,” he says, a wry tilt to his mouth. “Can I give you some advice? Since we’re friends?”
“Since when have we been friends?” Vanitas snaps.
Ventus laughs again. “Since always, silly,” he mimes wiping a tear from his eye. “But, hey. Since you don’t believe me, I’ll tell you anyway! Call it a sign of good faith.” He beams, clasping his hands in front of himself. “You might…” He taps a hand to his cheek, looking up at nothing, theatrical, “…want to check on Terra.”
“What?” Whatever Vanitas was expecting, it wasn’t that.
“I don’t think he’s gonna be feeling like himself,” Ventus says, the sides of his smile curled up sharp. “Not for much longer, anyway.”
Vanitas’ mind is racing, even as more Unversed rise from his feet. The Master will be so disappointed in him… but he can’t think about that. Instead, he thinks about Ventus. About his words, and his mocking smile, and the fact that he knows Vanitas’ name.
“What’s gonna happen to Terra?” Vanitas’ voice is foreign to his ears, a cruel scrape against the otherwise quiet. “What are you going to do to Terra?”
He feels the Unversed looming around the dark corners of the room.
“Me?” Ventus says, pointing to himself. “Nothing.”
“What is your master going to do, then?”
His eyes glow. He seems to gleam. His face… looking at it, Vanitas feels hot. Like claws raking against his heart, rending open his chest from the inside out. Looking at his face makes him feel like Vanitas is oozing something.
“Who are you?”
“Who cares?" He says, easy as breathing. "Anyway, my master'll be expecting me back. Nice meeting you!” Ventus waves a hand, wiggling his fingers. And then there’s a pop, so loud Vanitas’ ears hurt. A bright, white light flashes, like lightning crashing against the cold ground. Vanitas flinches away, flinging Void Gear in front of his chest protectively.
When he blinks, Ventus is gone. Vanitas is alone.
Well, Vanitas and a horde of Unversed. He rubs at his nose, blowing out a frustrated breath. Another Unversed forms as he does; a Blue Sea Salt hovers in the air next to his head, and it gently headbutts him.
Vanitas shoves it away, still trying to calm the racing of his heart. A Bruiser noses underneath Vanitas’ arm, and he allows himself to lean against it, lightheaded. He doesn’t know what’s going on— not yet.
But he needs to find out. He needs to warn the Master, about this boy, and—
Maybe… Maybe he better check on Terra, first. That’s all. It’ll all make sense. Vanitas will make it make sense. With his bare hands and determination clutched in both fists, he’ll make it make sense.
And if he locks the Unversed in his bedroom, trapping them inside… well, nobody needs to know. He has to take precautions. He has to hide the evidence. He has to figure this out.
He needs to focus.
#my writing*#kingdom hearts#Yeah man i dont know#ventus#kh vanitas#ive thought a lot about the mechanics of this. the basic idea is that when xehanort split ven and van . van was the one catatonic#and ven was conscious#so nortie boy picked the apprentice that was obviously more immediately useful#and dumped van on eraqus' doorstep with a sob story about how his 'apprentice' almost fell to darkness and#can you help him heal and bring light back into his heart#fully expecting it to not work#plus i feel like strategy wise#utilizing the light against the light is exactly the type of weird twisted logic nortie boy would enjoy#though Dont get me wrong#he has plans for vanitas too#the only thing i need to figure out#Is the unversed#like . during the campaign. obviously ven cant make any#anyway idk. call this a proof of concept more than anything else#a&d
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Also, I refuse to entertain the discourse as to whether acespec people are “oppressed” or not, but I will say it’s really fucking lonely — especially if you fall somewhere on the spectrum that’s a little more unconventional.
I’ve discussed many times before how I feel absolutely no attraction whatsoever except towards my lovely partner. I went through the phases queer men tend to: exploring many types of pornography and cruising on Grindr. I really tried, and none of it has ever done anything for me. It wasn’t until I started having sex with my partner that I realised, ohhh, so that’s how most people feel. And even then, enjoying sex with him is far more of an intimacy thing than the actual physical sensations. I do not fantasise about other people or consume porn. There is only him.
And yet when I’ve spoken about this in acespec spaces, I’m still treated as some sort of weirdo who doesn’t belong. I’ve literally been told many times that I can’t be demisexual because demis will still fantasise and consume porn (although that doesn’t line up with my understanding that demis require a close bond to feel sexual attraction, but never mind), and I’ve even been accused of having some weird internalised Christian puritan shit going on because I genuinely cannot comprehend ever looking at or thinking about someone in that way who isn’t my man. As if anything about this is a choice for me and it is offensive to them somehow. As if only feeling attraction to one person is like… “worse” than never feeling any attraction at all. I’ve never once shamed others for how they experience sex and sexual attraction and never would, yet people act like that’s what I’m inherently doing just by speaking about my own experiences.
So no, I won’t say whether acespec people are “oppressed” or not because honestly, when is this shit ever going to come up in conversation and ever be that relevant? But the fact I don’t feel I can talk about it even amongst other queer people, even amongst others in the acespec community, kind of speaks for itself.
Being a queer man who can’t relate to all the stereotypes and anecdotes about enjoying casual sex is one type of loneliness. Being a queer acespec man who can’t even relate to most others in the acespec community is another. I can never win, and either way I do not fit in.
#I know I’ve not really mentioned being demi much here#But this is kind of why lol#Had to get it off my chest though#I know my experience is fairly unique#But idk it’s just hard finding absolutely no one to relate to#Even my own partner has fucked many many men casually and when he and other gay men I meet talk about it…#Their experiences are valid and very common but I just feel like idk. Left out almost? Because they experience and view sex so differently#To me sex is the absolute most intimate thing you can do with another person and it’s only ever felt right for me with my partner#Whereas to him and many others sex isn’t inherently intimate and it’s normal for them to have a quick fuck and forget their name forever#That’s mindboggling to me and it’s hard for me to discuss how left out I feel without seeming like I’m judging#Because I’m really not. I cannot comprehend feeling that way at all but I understand it’s common and normal#Idk I’m waffling and idk if I’ve explained myself well#But I hope even just one person out there relates#This experience is so specific and isolating I need someone else to not feel so alone#I love my partner more than anything in the world btw and he’s so so supportive#But we can’t relate on every level yk#personal#rant#vent#long post#text post#international asexuality day#asexuality#asexual#demisexuality#demisexual#acephobia#relationships#acespec#aspec
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💛 Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome!!! 💛
💛
💛
#ask#ooc Link for you !!!!#that's so nice of you thank you!!!;; <3#this is my heart message back to you !#there's like actually no end to people who would get this message from me but I think I might chicken out on continueing it this time#that is to say. I would think about this too much to ever get on with it Or anything else#it's nothing to be idk worried or shy about but I would be and I wanna catch up on other things But.#if you 🫵 see this yes you 🫵 I am mentally sending it to you 💛💛💛 and yes I mean you 🫵 yea you too 💛#oh I still love these things though it's cute and fun day I'll get better at joining too !
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i loooove when ocs unrealized development makes them feel like real people like no i dont know whether talon is genuinely attracted to women after years of both clinging to them for safety and years of putting them onto that untouchable idealized Perfect Protector Pedestal that must remain untainted by any bad experiences, so he doesn't even try to Be With any. He doesn't know either
#like i heart bisexual men so part of me is like no yeah he does like women. he literally loves women#>what if this is just love as general blind devotion solely on the basis of them not being men#we all know he likes men without much of what would be societal shame but he still grapples with it in that personal way#in the if i like men it means i like them despite what happened to me -> i secretly like what happened to me way#talon like i like men and women but i could never spend my eternal life with a man. as a way to just focus on one thing (finding said women#instead of letting himself think about anything else at all#oc text#ill let it float into my mind but idk because this would mess up his original plot before i kept him#though tbh i want to keep keeping him idk if ill ever let him go back home ykwim. long gone concept at dis point he's mine now. ours#talkys#also this makes things more interesting too in the way of#well it was previously thought that talon has a great interest in [smunker] because of smunkers Body#a sort of unintentional and subconscious rejecting of [smunker's] gender and seeing him#as not a man#now its like. what if its not that. it rly is just sole attraction to men because well al is also a pretty feminine guy#views challenged because no‚ men one way (bad) and women another way (good)#but theres TWO guys here who exhibit femininity so he's like wait hold onnnnnn waittttt#that subconscious conflict still exists though in the fearing al (at first) due to his body and both terrorizing and clinging to [smunker]#because of his#the terrorizing because talon sees his original self in smunker (weak and youthful‚ cherubic‚ naive)#theres so many layerssss#anyway yes. loving women as in of course i love women. beautiful and they keep me safe#but not in any way further than that... i love them i can and will kiss them and do much more but it doesnt feel The Same#i dont think i actually even have any fully gay guy characters [EXCEPT MAYBE THE SELF? LMAO IDK] bc i love bisexual men so much#groundbreaking...#wait sorry more oc rambling this actually would also make sense too because how i imagine talon with women is exaggerated#complete personality change to be pleasant and pliable and you can do whatever you want to me#when its also known that the reason he ''acts out'' with al and [smunker] is because he feels safe enough to drop any and all masks to do s#hmmmmmmmm i must keep thinking
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Anyone else not able to say 'bless you', either because it feels too personal, embarrassing, slightly erotic or a mixture of all of the above-
Buuuuuut also whenever an event interrupts the conversation, you feel so much more awkward not saying anything/commenting on it at all, and so you wish you could just... say that phrase, or have some other thing that makes sense to say to just- shrug it off???
#waterfalltalks#been thinking about this SO much lately like- thought about it before#but i grew up in a household where no one said it#and none of my friends ever say/said it so it was never really a problem#we all just pretty much ignore them THOUGH lately bc of one friend they've started#mocking... the noises/sounds.... which is a WHOLE ass experience both when it happens to me or when it happens to someone else#buuuuttt i digress- the point is more that lately its been a lot more on my mind bc#it keeps happening in the middle of a conversation/when we're watching videos#and it just.... feels so SILENT afterwards and i know no one else is thinking about it bc#no one else puts the pressure on it that i do (cept my one friend that knows but he doesnt usually mention it)#but like.... idk guys i just feel AWKWARD not SAYING ANYTHING but also i feel even WORSE saying something and is just so eguheugheuhjgshueg#idk just!!! thoughts!!! and seeing if im alone in this bc i know other people feel awkward blessing but#does anyone else feel that?? silence????? maybe im just crazy ToT#if you made it this far im sorry for the rambling and thank you for reading ittttt feel free to tell me what u think bc im out of my mind <#waterfallrambles
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as#he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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