#idk i feel like hes constantly judging me or doesn't care about what I have to say so sometimes i dont even bother

[sugaroto]

Tiktok realized I was feeling off with my friend before I did

[bluee08]

Astro observations 《3》

Disclaimer : Not an astrologer, take it with a grain of salt, only for fun.

🫧 Asteroid Orma in 8th house might be the people to leave an impression of being hella reserved in a mysterious way. Like they might tell you a story and you will always feel like there is something more to it.

🪩 Mars in 3rd house people often say something offending without meaning to and regret the very next second. Trust me it's not their fault, they wanted to say something else and ended up saying something totally unexpected. They also feel guilty about it for days and feel sad that they might have come off rude for no reason.

🫧 Neptune conjuct ascendant, they are the real chameleons. They can mold themselves as per the situation demands. Ngl it comes handy sometimes. Like I remember when I was in 6th grade I was caught into a very serious matter but I pretended as if nothing happened and flew away. When the other guys rattled me out to the teacher, she said It's impossible that I was involved and that she doesn't believe them. She didn't hear a single word against me. Lol no, I wasn't her favorite student or something. It's just that I had maintained a certain reputation among different sect of people as per my own convenience. Call it manipulation if you want, if that doesn't explain the planet itself.

🪩 Pluto trine Lilith, it's not always sexuality that comes to the mind when we hear about these folk. Lilith here is aware that pluto is her benefactor. But it takes time for her to feel comfortable in her own domain. She is powerful here and knows what she wants. Definitely won't take anyone's bullshit. Her transformation can be scary and ruthless if someone tries to pin her down.

🫧 Jupiter sextile Pluto have a deep interest in forbidden things. Learning things that often people consider taboo is their thrill. They may or may not share the knowledge but they are always resourceful about topics relatated to dark themes of life. Feel free to discuss anything with them, they won't judge you infact they will help you inhance your own boundaries. You will be surprised how normal they'll sound while talking about things that might trigger other people even if they have gone through the same.

🪩 The one guy I had a Aphrodite-Eros synastry with made me feel like...idk strange. I was on a constant pedestal. I cared a lot about him. His Eros conjucted my Aphrodite and I looked out for him a lot. There was a thick sexual tension but also comfort. He also made me get a taste of jealousy. Which I don't usually feel. I used to constantly compare myself with the girls he used to interact with. We were not dating but I just couldn't help but feel insecure. Not because of him....idk why I was acting like that when I knew I was pretty enough.

🫧 Mars opposite Venus people get sudden mood swings from doing absolutely nothing to doing everything in next one hour. Oh and they'll do it again if it ain't asthetically pleasing to the eye.

🪩 Sun sextile Saturn, trust me they do know how to control themselves and take things with a grain of salt. Their ego is well maintained and not fragile unlike others. Very understanding and real mature people.

🫧 Sun sextile/trine Moon are the most compassionate and intuned with their selves. They know themselves better than anyone else. Also they always know exactly what they are feeling at any given time. Even if they are depressed at some point they won't give up easily.

🪩 Neptune negatively aspecting Saturn, dreaming big is easy, isn't it? But when you start implanting those dreams in real life your dreams remain dreams only. Don't worry though. It's a lesson. Don't give up, try harder. Dream as big as you want but at the end of the day remember to open your eyes and start afresh with new motivation. And please don't listen to those who tell you to quit it down. Your dreams are not weird or impossible or too much. Those people are just jealous because of how big your ambitions are and how far you are willing to go for it. Don't restrict your imagination for someone else. Believe yourself, you can do it!

🫧 Pluto in 10th house solar return chart can indicate a huge change in academic life or anywhere you are working at. For better or worse you better take precautions before hand. I am having it this year with mars in 3rd house and trust me from an above average student my grades are becoming poor. If I were to describe my graph I can see it coming downhill like a water slide which is creating quite an impression on my parents as well as my teachers. Note the sarcasm.

🪩 Saturn in 7th house could indicate having no interest in relationships at first or people being afraid to ask you out but when you grow up, settle well, you find yourself looking for your better half, resulting in either meeting them late or doing an arrange marriage.

🫧 Saturn opposite ascendant are the people who often get told that they look unapproachable on first glance. Kind of the 'out of league' vibe surrounds them. Which is not always true but I have noticed people do think twice before approaching them. These sweeties are also damn soft on the inside but for only those who do dare to talk to them. They rarely take the initiative themselves. But come ask help from them and they will risk their lives for you.

🪩 Mercury aspecting chiron could indicate healing your wounds by diving into the world of books. You might like to read or write journals when you are feeling down. There might be a small diary or pages that you have written when you were at your lowest. Its also possible that you start writing a novel or something to help you voice out your pain through written words.

🫧 Sun conjuct asteroid Medusa. Damn! You could have curly hair or hairs that are a lot wavy, thick and voluminated. Highly blessed in hair department. Many people might have praised you or complimented on your hair from a very young age. This could also indiacte a lot of body hair. From top to bottom you have body hair and trust me its not a bad thing. Its a blessing of being powerful, embrace it. It's just a hunch but some may have complimented you on that too.

🪩 Mars in 3rd house can't watch porn without audio or no communication during the deed. They always want to hear the sounds, no, they NeeD to hear the sounds raw! Only visuals is boring for them just as adding some weird music to the video. No, its not creating the mood, its ruining my experience, pls stop it.

🫧 You don't wanna hear someone moan who has their personal planets conjucting asteroid Sirene. Trust me you will get addicted. Its insane and I am not bluffing. Their voice may or may not be as addictive in general but in bed? Or when they want to take something from you? You will be trapped even before you blink. It's dangerous.

🪩 What's with Taurus Mars and Laziness? So much potential and still they study few hours before exam, complete assignments few minutes before submission and still have the audacity to say they will easily pass. Like bro if that's how you pass then I can't imagine how you will top....

🫧 Moon in 4th house people are highly invested in family matters. Family comes first to them and then the rest. The kind of people to tolerate an unhappy married life for the sake of their kids because they can't see their family being split apart.

🪩 Mars aspecting Pluto. It doesn't matter if it is positively aspected or negatively aspected, there is a lot of pent up frustration and anger issues underneath this placement. If provoked or underdeveloped could result in a very sudden and violent rage from this person. Better to leave them alone in such situations.

[13eyond13]

Something very... interesting? funny? fun to think about to me regarding L and Light is that L is the shamelessly NOSIEST most INVASIVE person on earth about Light, to an actually illegal point, and yet also like SO scornful of Light ever trying to get to know him personally a bit back, or Light ever misreading any of his nosiness as genuine personal interest on any level other than a professional investigator/suspect one ... I think if the tables were turned even in the slightest power dynamic-wise this way L would be extremely mad and uncomfortable about it, and even more dramatic about doing something like suggesting Light must have nefarious ulterior motives behind such an invasion of his privacy. I think L KNOWS that it's a bit uneven and that it's probably a bit hypocritical of him to be like that, but he doesn't particularly care because it gives him an advantage over Light. He has the upper hand in the situation most times and can get away with it or not be seen as too massively inappropriate for it only because he's actually right about his hunch about Light being guilty, and because Light always goes with the flow of it, and because the stakes of trying to go up against a mass-murderer like Kira are so high. And I wonder sometimes if he would ever think about things in a way where he might feel slightly guilty about it, like that Light's almost a bit too naive and too used to being judged/scrutinized constantly and too enjoying of their relationship to actually see it as unfair to him as it sometimes kind of really is? IDK exactly what I'm trying to say here but hopefully ya know kinda what I mean

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

may i request a post-dlc kieran x male punk reader? reader is seen as pretty intimidating due to their music taste and style, and they don’t back down about their beliefs, but they’re still a kind person. maybe when they battle they play on their guitar to hype their pokemon up, and rock out alongside them!

please take care, i really enjoy your writing :)

Post DLC!Kieran x Punk!M!Reader

A/N: Sorry this is late, but yeah, hope you enjoy it !!! Gave reader a shiny Toxtricity because I feel like it suits their aesthetic.

10/08 - I had this ready months ago, idk why I haven't posted it earlier....

Sure Kieran wasn't in his "Don't raise your voice at me. I WILL cry" phase anymore, and he was the seccond strongest trainer in the Academy

But that didn't stop him from being intimidated by others.

He heard rumours about you-

About how loud you were, how much of a troublemaker you were, how disobedient you were, constantly breaking the rules as you see fit.

Even Carmine strongly warned him to stay away from you.

You were seen as a delinquent by some teachers who were quick to judge, how could he not be intimidated?

You stood up for your beliefs, and sure, a small part of him admired that under all the fear and intimidation.

Rules are made to be broken.

Right?

He believed the rumors for so long, he tried to stay away from you as much as possible, fearing for whatever ruckus you may cause.

But in reality, you are a kind person, and Kieran only found that out becuase the two of you shared the same battle studies class and you two battled eachother.

As expected, Kieran won the battle, he was ex-champion after all.

But honestly? Kieran was blown away at your battling style,

You and your shiny Toxtricity were like partners in crime.

The two of you two complemented eachother well.

Kieran was always mesmerised at how you went full out in battles. You always used your guitar to hype up your party and it worked.

Their cries always got stronger alongside whatever you were playing inspired Kieran to give it his all.

That was the only time he ever interacted with you, and you were the complete opposite of what the rumours said you are.

He'd often see you in the music rooms, practising your guitar with some pokémon out, happily jamming along.

Over time, you befriend him, [he's still a bit introverted, so you took your time to make sure he's comfortable].

You began sitting next to him during your breaks - he invited you over after all,

If you asked him, he found it interesting to see how you were the complete opposite of what people say you are,

You just had strong opinions, and you'd never hide them in fear of standing out.

He admired that.

Over time, the two of you began to get closer, and then began dating.

He confessed to you by giving you an Applin.

Believe me, he tried to find a shiny one to match your shiny Toxtricity, and he came out empty handed.

Kieran was rather keen on keeping the relationship private, he didn't want Carmine to find out and yell at him for it.

So the two kept a low profile,

Whenever Kieran sees something related to punk, he'd always get it for you, even if he doesn't know what it means.

He probably got you a few things related to rebellion without knowing,

He loves hanging out at your dorm, he isn't worried or stressed about Carmine barging in and demanding something from him.

10/10 Kieran seems like the type of person who would love to have a blanket over the two of you and put on a movie, or have a walk in the park at night.

Kieran also seems like the type of person to ask about Punk history and anything related to the movement,

Searching everything up online is an option, but is it really the best option?

He wants to know more about you and what the movement means to you, not what some random person on the internet says.

Kieran probably got you or your Toxtricity a Punk themed jacket because he thought they looked cool and matched your aesthetic.

10/10 gets you random Punk stickers (He probably doesn't know what half of them mean, but they suit your aesthetic - hopefully.)

[yannaryartside]

Sydney has never antagonized Carmy

I keep coming back to that scene between Cicero and Sydney where he tells her basically how insufferable Carmy is, but she just says “I don't know what you want me to say to that. There is a layer to this about Carmy being her superior, but it is definitely more than that, the bear operates like a family joint and Syd is part of it, she is expected to take part in the drama.

There has always been a tendency between the people that surround Carmy to criticize him, both when he is doing good or doing bad.

Now, this season Carmy really continued the circle of violence he was once trapped in. He did it because he thought it was the only way he could be the best, because evil chef taught him so. The show made a point to show us Carmys kind nature until s2 so we could understand that the abuse he inflicts on others doesn't come from a place of actual malice.

But his family doesn't know about evil chef. Knowing it will not make Carmy’s behavior okay either. The way most violent people were abused as well.

Sydney has never acted like Carmys behavior is okay, even when his family ignored the other shitty things he has done because it didnt affect them directly until now.

All that being said, it was amazing to see Sydney never talking bad about Carmy behind him. The scene with her and Cicero was a stellar example of it.

Now, why doesn't she takes sides? Why not talk about Carmy behind his back?

Because that won't resolve anything, it would not be helpful to anybody. She doesn't take sides (this is not a you vs us thing) she doesn't judge. She even comforts Cicero about his regrets in his lack of involvement with the bear kids, when she grew up with a very present father herself, she could have judge, she didn't.

Edit: idk if I was sucesfull on making a point here:

Sydney doesn't like to condemn or limit the potential of people to what she knows is the worst of them. Her whole relationship with Richie is a good example of it. Once he started to show up for her and she saw that he cares for the restaurant she started trusting him. She has endured Carmys antics in part because she knows how much he can encourage and support the ones surrounding him, her included. Even faith has its limits of course.

I just wanted to highlight that judging/condemning others is easy, especially behind their backs. She never assumed she knew the whole story. She never took any high ground. She just called it shitty behavior as she saw it, and even did it with patience and love for everyone involved.

There is a sad undertone to all this, wich is as a black woman she may feel she needs to put her own needs aside for the things she wants to achieve. I think she took a role of a protector this season. She may have felt she was responsible for helping the crew under her survive this, even when she constantly called on Carmys bullshit.

She was a good friend, she has been a good person all around even how much she has been push. I don't want to advocate for women to be limited to the moral compass for the tragic hero. Still, I am sure that if she were a male or white, you would see all corners of the Bear fandom treat this character like the equivalent of Captain America or Superman. She will be the hero and Carmen will be the villain. Because she is indeed the moral compass, she is an example to the viewer on how to react with maturity, holistic view, and compassion to all the messed up situations the story throws her in.

[kaycode1999]

Hi! I've never done this before, but I was wondering if I could ask for a lmk match up? Idk how much info you need so I'm just going by what some people put in your other asks.

My pronouns are she/her, I'm heterosexual and appearance-wise, I'm 5'4, my hair is pretty long and curly. Both my hair and eyes are black/dark brown

My hobbies are kind of all over the place, but I mostly love to create in a lot of ways. I'm no artist, but I love cedar weaving, beading, writing, crocheting, and I love to sing/act. I like relaxing things like puzzles and swimming, but I'm a also big fan of stuff like axe-throwing!

I'm a pretty outgoing person, and I love to socialize. I'm used to being in a house with lots of people, and taking care of younger kids. I always have/will be a theatre kid, and if a person asks me about any interests I have, I will feel bad for them. Because I will talk for hours. I also like being helpful, it makes me happy if I can make others happy :)

I don't really have much of a type. I mean, I do have a preference for the mystic monkeys (they're great), but in general there isn't really anything specific I look for in a person. All I'm looking for is someone caring and can match my energy lol

My love languages are quality time and physical touch. Whether it's family, or spending time with a significant other, my favourite way to spend an evening is to watch a movie or binge a show cuddled up with whoever is with me. It's even better if we're watching something like a comedy or thriller/horror. I will die laughing if there's some crazy death or a whole lot of slapstick-esque violence (don't judge me). Perfect example of this is like the Scream franchise, the way the killer is constantly getting beat up while chasing their victims is hilarious to me.

I hope this is good enough!

I match you with

Sun Wukong

He loves your height, and yes he will be teasing you about it and doing things like using you as an armrest constantly

He is so fascinated with your hair, he thinks it’s so gorgeous

Generally, if something you do makes you happy he's very supportive and enjoys it as well. Though, the axe-throwing was a surprise- any time he sees you participating you'll turn around and find him looking like this at you

He seems like he's more extroverted but he's actually not, if you guys have a group around he will never be more than a few steps away from you or touching you in some way ( I.E. Holding your hand, having his arm around you, etc.) because you make him feel calmer and more comfortable. It’s not that he doesn't like whoever is over he just tends to get anxious if there are a lot of people around.

He truly feels you are the sweetest and most adorable person ever, and even though he doesn't believe he deserves you he's so grateful to have you

He's very comfortable to snuggle with and he loves nothing more than cuddling with you on the couch and watching whatever you want

I get the feeling you two share the finding slapstick-esc violence hilarious so he's right there laughing with you

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[deathonthe]

ferrari parked outside | 1633

pairing: charles/max

rating: explicit

word count: ~5000

tags: established relationship, slightly non-linear narrative, under-negotiated kink, somnophilia, riding

summary:

Max is an embarrassing amount of gin and tonics into the night when Lando shouts very loudly into his ear. “Does Charles pay for everything for you?” “What?” Max shouts back. “I mean like– Seems like he’s always paying for you, mate,” Lando says. Holds both hands up in the air and dubiously glances to the side. “Not that I’m judging or anything.” “He doesn’t pay for everything,” Max lamely insists.

director's cut:

the following are my notes and thoughts during the writing of this fic. they should in no way influence the way you've interpreted it! but feel free to read it to gain some extra insight into my pea-sized brain

ok. one thing u should know about me is that i will constantly push the max verstappen babygirl agenda no matter what. sugar baby max is pretty adjacent to that

i spent an awful about of time deciding the opening scene, between first scene (B) and the following directly after (A), idk how many times i swapped the two. i was afraid if i started off with B, it would kinda give a tacky record scratch effect when u reach A. but starting with A made the progression into B seem unnatural and too abrupt so. in the end i went with B, then A because the fic gradually loses its seriousness and matches the kinda light humour it progresses into

the line "I want chocolates and those bread rolls they bake fresh." took me a god awful amount of time to write. at first i wanted max to specify a monte carlo cafe to make it seem more genuine but all the reviews for cafes in monaco were in french! which i suppose i should've expected. in the end i went with that even though i'm not completely happy with it

another thing u should know about it is that i care about character voice and characterisation above all else. i try my best to emulate how these people sound. i always sift through so much interview material while writing a fic to try and get the drivers' voice tones and linguistic quirks and body language as accurately and naturally as possible. and too be honest, i don't think i did that very well in this fic. i think i could have imitated it better

a little bit of french, of course. they live in monaco, charles speaks french. max doesn't speak enough, so not quite as much french as other fics (for example, for esteban and lance, i would generally write about half of their dialogue in french if they were only speaking to each other in a scene. it feels more authentic as esteban and lance communicate in french when they are talking to each other in real life)

i designated charles three terms of endearment: baby, cheri and mon cher

nothing made me happier than when it became canon that max calls charles 'charlie' in real life, because i was gonna scrap it from the fic because i thought it sounded ooc

to be clear, i never intended to give charles a daddy kink in this fic. you can assume he doesn't have one. neither does max

the running joke is that this is actually a proposal fic and not a sugar baby one

in the lando scene, when max cuts him off before he can finish his sentence, lando is about to say: "and charles also paid for martjin to dj at this red bull party for u." i wasn't sure if the implication was very strong, though

in actuality, max cuts off lando with a "fuck off" and lando says later "why the fuck would i be, charles isn't my fucking boyfriend" but i thought that was too many fucks and ended up taking all but one of them out

i know charles doesn't drive a red laferrari

the other running joke in this fic is obviously charles is not ever watching the whale documentary seriously. he was instead always thinking or focused on something else in his head

the ice cream scene came to me in a fever dream

charles can't actually procure the cheesecake factory, he's about $125 million in net worth. the cheesecake factory is over $1 billion

i am not a fan (i.e., i am actually just a hater) of when max is depicted like an aggressive, overly possessive, hyper-masculine suave, dom caricature from an e l james erotica novel and when charles is just delegated the softer, more feminine counterpart automatically. so. u see me subverting that expectation a lot

i had a lot of fun writing victoria's part where she cooks both charles and max within 100 words

did you know this fic is exactly 14 pages on google docs? i thought that was pretty cool

if i had to sum up this fic in three words: chekov's schrodinger's proposal

thanks for staying 'til the end!

[batidochokolat]

The Outsiders // Pro Ice Skating AU ⛸️❄️

- Ponyboy and Curtis brothers centric (for now)

- If you have any idea how any more characters of The Outsiders would behave or react to this AU please let me know.

- So first, Ponyboy is all about ice skating, like how he's into sunsets, books, and movies. It's his thing, even though the gang doesn't really get it. His mom, though, she's his biggest support, staying up late sewing his outfits and taking him to practice and tournaments all the time.

- But then, when his parents pass away, he takes a break from skating. One day, Darry finds him and says like, "I was looking through some of mother's things and I found all your medals, accomplishments, all that, Pony. She loved you, more than she loved anyone. You can't keep dying in your own greave, sobbing all night. You have to get back out there and make them proud."

- So, Ponyboy throws himself into training like never before. But now, it's not just about having fun; it's serious pressure. Especially with Darry taking charge, pushing him harder. You have to remember Darry was this big football star back in high school, had a shot to leave Tulsa and all, but then their parents passed, and now he's dead set on turning Ponyboy into the best ice skater in the country.

- But Ponyboy feels like Darry doesn't get him. They clash a lot because Darry's always reminding him that skating's alway been for the rich kids, not greasers like them. And the judges and other skaters don't make it any easier, they don't understand his DIY outfits and background, giving him low scores in presentation and seeing him as a greaser who skates like a girl, basically he's making a mockery of the "elegant" art of ice skating.

- Ponyboy, he thinks (like in the book) Darry sees him as a total annoyance and burden, always saying he can do better. It's like he's constantly walking on thin ice, trying to live up to Darry's expectations while dealing with his own doubts and insecurities and all that.

- But even then he doesn't care what other people think, he knows he's talented and he won't be apologizing for being who he is. He will prove EVRYONE just how wrong they are about him.

Ponyboy

Pretty much like in the book he is a little angsty and has to deal with a little too much at a young age, but he's still that guy who loves reading books, watching movies and ice skating. His drive here stems from a desire to prove his worth, sometimes leading to a touch of obsession in seeking the perfect embodiment of his artistry and a score that silences all the people who think he can't make it.

Darry

I know Darry sounds like a total asshole but I belive he's giving everything he has for pony and tries to push him like how his coach used to do when he was in high school. Despite being barely older than a teenager, He's under so much pressure and stress all the time that he might be setting some into his younger siblings.

Sodapop

I personally think Sodapop might not be super into ice skating as a sport, but he's always been there to cheer on Ponyboy, especially after their parents passed. He decides to attend one of Pony's tournaments, but he's taken aback by how intense Darry is being. He's like, "Don't you think you're pushing him too hard?" But Darry's all like, "I know what I'm doing. I'm making him a star."

Sodapop also may try to be with Ponyboy more, inviting him to hang out and take breaks from all the practice, but Pony keeps turning him down. (Steve's obviously happy that Pony isn't always tagging along anymore lol)

As time goes on, Sodapop starts feeling a bit distant from his own family. With all this new attention on Ponyboy and the constant tension at home, he starts feeling really alone. He still cares deeply about Pony and is proud of his achievements, but he just wishes things could go back to how they were before, with their family all together.

Rest of the gang?

Idk, I thought this AU yesterday over discord. What would Johnny's reaction be to all of this?

(Gif is relevant because this AU came to my mind inspired by the Tonya Harding story and a bunch of Yuzuru and ice skating tiktok edits.)

Extras

I will probably be adding more to this AU later on the week 🫶

[tfp-is-my-lifeblood-lol]

How would the tfp cons and bots react to finding a bunch of sparkling in an escape pod

I headcannon that sparklings are tiny enough for humans to hold their entire bodies and look like loaf blobs and make beeping sounds

I hope this is good, because I'm gonna be totally honest: I know next to nothing about sparklings. I know they're pretty much baby Cybertronians, but that's about it. Are they canon? Idk but here goes nothing😂

TFP Autobots Reaction to Sparklings in an Escape Pod

Optimus Prime:

-Dad mode activated

"As Autobots, it is our duty to protect any life on this planet. Especially small fragile life, be it humans, or sparklings."

-He'd assign the other Bots tasks to look after them whenever he can't do it himself. In fact, he lets the humans care for them as well

Miko: "We have to take care of Cybertronian babies instead of going on missions? Laaame!"

Jack: "Well, Miko, maybe this is how the Bots always feel having to constantly look after YOU."

Miko: "Phht. Rude."

Ratchet:

-Oh boy, he's NOT happy

-He'd mutter to himself:

"Oh, joy. Another small, loud creature to distract me from work. How have I managed to get reduced to the team babysitter?"

-He'd have a harder time connecting with the sparklings than with the children, because at least the human kids can TALK.

-In fact, having the sparklings around might bring Ratchet closer to the humans, since he's on the same boat as them, not wanting the responsibility of caring for sparklings

-He isn't a MONSTER, though. Of COURSE he grows to love the sparklings eventually. He's a softy, deep down

Arcee:

-Where IS Arcee, anyway? Nobody's seen her much since Optimus assigned Team Prime tasks involving caring for the sparklings. She said: "I'm going for a drive" and peaced out.

-In short, Arcee is having NONE of this

-Babysitting? No thank you.

-She leaves the MOMENT anyone asks her to feed the sparklings some energon. And she takes Jack with her. Byeeeeeee.

Bulkhead:

"Uhhh...Are we gonna have to take care of them?"

-What a silly guy. He's doing his best.

-He has NO clue what he's doing, though. Like he said, on Cybertron, he was a laborer. He's never cared for a sparkling in his life

-Not to mention Miko's judging him harshly for even trying😂

Miko: "Bulk, we're supposed to be smashing Con tailpipes! When did YOU become some kind of nurse, looking after toddlers? Isn't that RATCHET'S job?"

Ratchet: "YEPYEPYEPYEP that is NOT my job!!!!!!!😤"

-Bulkhead's like:

"Uhh...how much do you feed sparklings again?"

-At least he's trying

Bumblebee:

-He's probably the best at caring for the sparklings, next to Optimus, and he has no problem doing it, once they find them in the escape pod

-If Optimus is the serious, responsible caretaker, Bumblebee is the more fun one

-He plays with the sparklings, and takes them for rides

-Raf helps out, as well

-It's adorable

Wheeljack:

-Bulkhead dragged him along to help care for the sparklings, but he's taking Miko's side. He isn't feeling it.

"If you want me to go soft, you've got another thing comin'."

-Once the sparklings are of age, he'll gladly teach them to be Wreckers

-But until then, he'll try to explain to them how grenades work whenever Bulkhead isn't looking. They don't understand what he's saying, of course, because they're only sparklings, but you've gotta start them young.

Ultra Magnus:

-He's kinda like a supervisor

-He knows exactly what the sparklings need, and when, but whatever the need is, he isn't going to attend to it himself

-He mainly dishes out orders and tells everyone else what to do.

-He doesn't mean to be rude. He's just used to being a commander. During the war, sparklings had to be protected from explosions and whatnot, so he saw to it that soldiers under his command took care of them.

-If anyone could convince Arcee to come back though, it's him, so at least there's that

Smokescreen:

-Chaotic fun uncle energy

-You'd have to keep an eye on Smokescreen at ALL TIMES, because, when the sparklings are under HIS watch, it's pure anarchy

-He'd probably let them drink engex (Cybertronian version of alcohol) and teach them how to conduct pranks on Ultra Magnus

-He's a "no rules" guardian

-Really, Team Prime has to babysit HIM more than the sparklings

[honeymouthedtales]

Not fic related, but what can you say about the issue surrounding hc? Some say its lost in translation but idk what to believe. I'm not fluent in Korean after all. I'm quite on the heavy side, so seeing haechan say such words, as his fan, is uncomfortable...

i tried to find an ask i was sent about a similar issue but it was jeno talking to haechan a few months ago, because my answer will be the same i gave that day. unfortunately it was on cc and cc doesn't allow to look for old tweets, nor is twitter helpful in any way so i'll try to answer again.

under the cut bc very long sry

first of all, it's completely normal to feel uncomfortable. those are your feelings and they're valid. your feelings are separate from the intentions of the person who said those words, so no matter what you're entitled to feeling hurt if you feel like your bias might be fatphobic and no one should be telling you otherwise. in any case, feeling disappointed is not wrong because as many people are saying he is a public figure and his words can reach (and hurt) many people.

this said, as someone who lives in korea, i do understand why some people who are korean are saying his words are being greatly exaggerated by ifans. korean people constantly comment on other people's weight. it's to the point that i think it's a way for them to make small talk. just like they ask people if they have eaten when they want to ask how they're doing, food is often used in connection to health. when people haven't seen you for a long time they usually tell you that you've gained or lost weight as well (happened many times with me) and people do tell others to eat well as a good health wish. that's why i think that telling people to get in shape and take care of your body does not necessarily mean that he thinks they are fat, it's just a way to say take care of your health. imo it would be wrong to read a deeper meaning in it.

back to my previous point. does that make your hurt unnecessary? no, because you can get hurt even he didn't mean to say something hurtful. if you get run over by a car it doesn't matter whether the driver meant to do it or not.

but i don't accept the narrative that hc is a terrible person who judges the members' bodies because he is fatphobic, and anyone believing this has clearly never lived in korea, where the kind of sentences he said are as common between friends (especially male friends) as using the weather to make small talk. if you want a real example, i dare you to look at the other nct dream members. all of them have, in other instances, made comments that according to our standards would be judged "fatphobic" while they were talking among each other. do we stan a group of assholes or are we going to acknowledge that there might be a certain degree of cultural difference at play between the way we consider acceptable to talk about other people's bodies and the way they do it?

i'd like to add something i said when this issue happened with jeno and haechan was called fat instead. i'm not haechan's babysitter. he doesn't need me to defend him when he's talking with his friends. if what is said among them is problematic, i'm sure they are all old enough to talk among themselves and solve the problems. what they don't need is some fans (often solo stans or akgae) inventing a narrative in their head, analyzing reactions to support their theories and then proudly saying "member x is an asshole" and deciding that they, as strangers, know their friendship better than dream, the actual group of friends. and this is just to get rt and likes, for the drama. it's meaningless to always praise dream for having a genuine relationship but then distort every single instance of genuine reaction we get from them just to make a hit tweet. if jn and jm were annoyed by that comment, i trust them to say something among each other without everyone butting in blindly.

finally, i'm sorry that as a haechan fan he disappointed you. i do think what he said is wrong. i think he should've minded his words better. i don't like when he says stuff like that. i don't believe he wants to be hurtful, but at the same time i don't think he saw a problem with what he was saying because most people around him don't. not only the other members, but also the staff, his family, other celebrities. it's alright being disappointed, but i hope we can all be realistic and stop pinning the weight of a behavior that is widely normalized on a single idol every time something like this happens.

I hope I explained myself properly. It's a delicate issue, and as a fan I have to juggle between dealing with my own feelings of disappointment and seeing many comments of people who are inventing things or being hurtful just because they finally have a good pretext to do it.

[count-doodoo]

dooku: jedi lost: part 3: liveblog part 1

ok. time for part 3!

god the snark is 10/10. a credit to her lineage.

side note the courage of star wars authors to describe weird gross slime aliens is beyond me.

IF I'M UNDERSTANDING THE SERIES OF EVENTS CORRECTLY YES KY. YES YOU DID FAIL HER. (you can just???? adopt a kid and take her into danger constantly without even notifying next of kin in case something happens to you????)

SERIOUSLY. WHAT HAPPENED KY. WHY. (especially since he keeps insisting that dooku is lying about the jedi abandoning him. which means, if this is really ky, that he abandoned the jedi. that he's the sole decision maker responsible for depriving asajj of a support system.) either way, 10/10 for asajj immediately picking up on making fun of yoda. she's gonna meet him for the first time and be like "do i need to uproot a tree for you??"

the icon we don't deserve honestly.

OLD FRIEND?????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN SIFO.

(although i suppose when i was seventeen i also felt quite ancient. but i wasn't going around calling people "old friend" lmao. then again i didn't have any friends quite like dooku.)

ALSO 17 YO DOOKU HAS A DISTINGUISHED REGAL BEARD

y'all i love sifo the seer but. i was enjoying their stupid childhood shenanigans WITHOUT visions! let them run around breaking into library vaults ugh. and they were being so cute before!!!! sifo brought back a cute souvenir from his mission for doo!!!! and then he BROKE IT BECAUSE VISION??? I RESENT THE ANGST!!!!

if i were dooku here i would probably once again draw my saber on lene and be like SINCE HE LEARNED TO OPEN HIS MIND??? WHAT DID YOU DRUG HIM WITH

(seriously i feel like i see a lot more love for lene in fandom than i'm feeling for her here. maybe she'll grow on me by the end of the book? but right now it really feels like she's just dragging two bright eyed boys into stupid dark side shenanigans without real care for the consequences. or maybe i'm just crying because hindsight is 20/20 and DOOKSY DESERVED BETTER 2KFOREVA.)

now that i've judged lene's take on sifo's visions, it's time to judge yoda for his.

a WARNING would not go amiss sir??? like this isn't "my vision said to commission a bunch of clones" or "my vision said to murder this guy" or something like that. this is just "hey what if we warn them of a potential natural disaster so they can prepare". what's misleading there??? no you don't want to create unjustified panic but making sure emergency systems are in place is always good especially if you have any reason to believe they may be necessary. this is like straight up due diligence??

i am kind of fascinated by this bit. i have somewhat mixed feelings about it, tbh; not sure that i'm a fan of the "he's always been obsessed with fire and damnation" take on dooku. i mean it doesn't not work, such a serious kid probably would have a relatively detached and academic take on armageddon, but... idk. reveling feels a step too far?

anyways, the other side of the mixed feelings is that i really love that end bit. "i knew the universe would endure, and if it didn't, it wouldn't be because of gods or powers beyond our understanding" is such a banger line. i'm just not sure it feels like a line that belongs /here/ exactly yk??

DOO DOVE IN TO RESCUE SI!! SI INJURED HIMSELF IN A SEA OF BACTA!!! i'm not happy he's hurt it's just these boys are so fucking precious. and stupid. doo doo doo dum dums

THE OLD FASHIONED WAY IS JUMPING OUT A WINDOW. DOOKU IS A CHAOS GREMLIN. don't let him trick you into believing otherwise. he'll act like he's the most sensible one of the disaster lineage while he's the one who became a sith and is leading a separatist movement.

[shantechni]

⚠️[Spoilers for Buddy Daddies EP10 and 11]⚠️

I Wasn't Sad When She Died, I Was Mad

Let me say right away that I do like Kyutaro as a character, he's the in-between of the organization's dark world and the main trio's world of light, the middle man who reminds the audience and characters that he's not a good guy, yet has shown that he's reliable and capable of keeping a secret.

Now then, in spite of all of that, I sort of loathe the guy.

I don't think I'll ever be sure if this is a major L on the writers' part due to time constraints and whatnot, or if they legitimately thought having someone with a moral compass as nomadic and contradictory as the air around you was a good idea.

I guess I should start by mentioning the elephant in the room (something I'd already mentioned in a random reblog last week): he thinks Kazuki and Rei don't have the right to raise Miri after having killed her father. That makes sense out of context, but in the actual context of the show, killing her dad literally has no impact on Miri nor the world around them. Kyutaro keeps nonverbally dubbing himself as the judge for whether or not they'd be willing to bear the sin of killing her dad like they haven't killed dozens of others before (if anything, as Kazuki stated, they have to bear that sin by raising Miri, it's only logical to take responsibility for your actions). Miri's dad doesn't even have a name worth recalling honestly. He's only known for being a human trafficker who cheats on his wife, and bore an illegitimate child with one of his mistresses (of whom he didn't show any recognition for, likely due to him never knowing she existed).

Kazuki and Rei will bear the weight of that sin as well as they've been carrying the weight of their other sins, and Miri will easily go about her life either knowing or not knowing her biological father because it is of no concern to her at this age. Likely wouldn't be of concern to her if she were older either because she doesn't seem like the type of person to dwell on the unknowns that don't need to be known. Children often value those who actually cared for them over someone they've hardly breathed in the same room as, so why would she ever assign any significant amount of emotion towards her real dad when these two grown men are doing so much for her already?

"How do you think she'd feel if she knew?" IDK MAYBE NOTHING

Now then, for the hippo in the room: we saw that he's the one who called Misaki to take Miri back into her custody once Ogino and the organization relentlessly told him to do something about Kazuki and Rei's new life with Miri. And it would make sense to do that, y'know? As I said before in hope, Misaki wouldn't have been on the organization's radar, and as another fan stated, their interest would've likely waned once Miri disappeared and the guys went back to work full-time, right??

Nope, EP11 literally opens up with Shigeki outright telling Rei that Miri and Misaki will be dealt with because he still appears to be attached. Chaos ensues, Misaki unfortunately gets shot and killed, and Kyutaro and Kazuki have to somberly drive Miri back to his safe house without her knowing what transpired.

Now, it's already bad enough that Misaki was clearly willing to put in the effort to change for Miri's sake and happiness, only to sadly meet a tragic end no sooner than when she made the decision.

But, Kyutaro's handling of this whole situation is the only reason Misaki is dead to begin with.

He constantly reminded Kazuki and Rei about what the organization is capable of when you step out of line, but actively put Misaki in danger by connecting her with Miri and the guys when he told her to take Miri. He was so adamant about choosing the best option for Miri's happiness, but he somehow thought separting her from Kazuki and Rei would be in her best interest. He hardly even mentioned her safety now that I think back, he just grilled the guys over keeping her for so long and said she's better off with her mom than the two men who killed her dad. He didn't keep in mind that Miri actually loves them, or that the guys actually love her, that or he stubbornly ignored it. He had the audacity to say, "She meant more to you than I thought," as though he didn't see them literally zoom across the city for her multiple times when she was left at the cafe.

If he really wanted to keep everyone's best interest in mind, he would've taken Miri to the BIG WOODEN SAFE HOUSE HE CONVENIENTLY HAD AT THE END OF EP11, NOT SEND HER OFF TO A PLACE WHERE NO ONE CAN PROTECT HER AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE-

This all just make it seem like bringing Misaki back into the equation was pointless and the worst possible thing to do, and it makes me mad. Yeah sure a little sad, but I'm more so frustrated from the absurdity oozing out of this 'intelligent' man who seems like he'd know what to do when things need to be done. Like, there were better decisions, and this woman lost her life because you thought you were doing the right thing, even though you also thought it wasn't quite the right thing to do.

Unless this is all leading up to some kind of wild twizzler twist near the end, he's an irreconcilable man who does nothing but create the conflict rather than solve it.

[queerfables]

911 season 5 part 1 liveblog

5x01

Okay, dramatic opening image!!

Love it

What's this walking dead shit

Omg emus??

Oh jeeze what else is loose here

A fucking GIRAFFE ok I'm obsessed

This is a GREAT fucking opening

LMFAO I appear to have accidentally downloaded the Spanish dub

Ok an hour later that mix up is not as funny as it was but we are back baby

Take two

Btw I don't think I've mentioned it yet but I love the show's score

Little baaaaaaaby

What the hell is wrong with the human brain that at the moments when you need it to be functioning the most, like when you have a new kid for example, there's a solid chance it just breaks

It's Mad About Depression hours I guess

The fact that Eddie is so stubbornly insisting that meeting his girlfriend's family isn't a big deal

Idk I guess Eddie's love interests so far just haven't grabbed me. His type is bland willowy ladies and I would like to see some sparks.

911 is being flooded with calls?

Oh shit this is bad

This really does not seem like a glitch to me

Haha oh it's kind of fun to see Taylor and Buck getting a little spicy. I've been thinking about how this show doesn't really do much sexiness and it's not like it needs it but I also sometimes think it doesn't have to be quite as sanitised as it is.

(I may or may not have been thinking this in the context of, it would be fun to see some hot and heavy Buck/Eddie makeouts. They're both very attractive people, sue me)

(But Taylor is also very attractive and I'm down with Buck/Taylor make-outs)

Ok the fact that she was seducing Buck to get access to his phone just makes it hotter. Hi Taylor just a heads up if things with Buck don't work out I am available.

(Also will someone write me Buck/Eddie/Taylor because for real I would be into that)

Yeah ransomware makes way more sense

What the fuck how does the rapist have a giggly female fanclub?? That does not seem plausible to me.

T____T Christopher is so cute trying on suits

Oh no Eddie did not like Ana being referred to as Christopher's mum

That looks like a panic attack to me

"I don't panic" shut up and take the damn pamphlet Eddie. I hate to break it to you but you are still a human being.

Oh Athena, honey

Harry taking care of his mum is so soft

I'm sorry but as a former legal transcriptionist, self-reps are never this calm and collected. they are constantly being pulled up by the judge on things they're not allowed to say and getting off track (it's a little bit funny). It's pretty implausible, under the circumstances, that he would be allowed to represent himself in the first place - and that is for his own protection.

Oh the idiot defendant decided to make a break for it in the chaos while maintaining his innocence? That sounds more like the self reps I'm familiar with

Crying with laughter over how a digital attack is somehow making an analogue clock go haywire

Oh Buck gets bitchy when Eddie hides things from him

On top of everything else, now there's a blackout?

This is officially beyond my ability to suspend disbelief.

Still, I am having a good time. I love when shows go big and get stupid with it.

No!! Not Athena's detective friend!!

5x02

Jesus Christ Bobby that was very heroic but you know that if you die Athena will KILL you right?

Oh fuck Athena's friend didn't die I'm so relieved

I really thought he was gone

Fire Marshall Buck, my delight!

Man Eddie is never gonna beat the gay allegations if he keeps having panic attacks every time someone thinks things are more serious with Ana than they are

(I'm being a little flippant of course I know there are other reasons for that to feel Fraught)

(I just can't help but think about how much of his relationship with Shannon felt like someone checking the boxes he's supposed to check. To me, at least.)

Ok but when do the animals come back

Oh my god Eddie is so FOND listening to Buck talk about the animals at the zoo and why they should be panicking

Buck on "animal control" is hilarious

LOL at Hen and Bobby being menaced by alpacas

"Clever girl" HEE

T_T oh I know this is deliberate weepy feelgood bait but the neighbourhood coming together to help the little boy on the ventilator still gets me

Aw Buck is so worried about Eddie's hypothetical heart attack

"Suddenly it became a ready-made family and I don't know if I'm ready for that"

LOL Eddie is going to "stick it out" with Ana because she is, and I quote, "the first woman I've wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon." My guy you spent most of your marriage to Shannon in Afghanistan.

Eddie taking a nap to avoid a big life conversation feels very relatable lol

I'm glad Chimney is talking to Hen about Maddie having post-partum. He needs support too.

Oh jeeze that's so scary, falling asleep with the baby in the bath. I fell asleep holding the baby once, just for a split second while sitting up in bed, and dropped him onto the floor. I don't think I have ever felt worse. But he was fine and Maddie's baby is also fine.

D: the attacker is at Athena's house. Oh that feels horrible. Even just knowing he'd been there. I would have to move.

Harry oh no!!!

This horrible worm of a person with Harry in his car boot. I will fight him.

Jesus Christ ANOTHER cliffhanger? But I really have to sleep this is terrible

Stay tuned I guess T_T

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas! I have a dilemma that I'd love advice on.

So, me and my best friend are varying levels of aroace, and we dated for a bit when we met but broke up. At the time, I thought it was because he was aroace, but recently he's started dating someone else and changed his reasoning with me to him not being ready, which is totally okay, but it does hurt a lot. I'm very much in love with him, and I'm alterous so i don't really care whether our relationship is platonic or romantic, but I just hate being caged in by society's expectation of what a platonic relationship is. He says that I'm more important to him than his boyfriend, but he's also said that I'm only one of his best friends, and when I've asked him about maybe labeling our relationship queerplatonic he said that he doesn't feel comfortable with it and it just really really hurts knowing that he doesn't want me to be special to him like that. I'm genuinely obsessed with him, he's perfect and lovely and the sweetest person ever. I would do anything for him, and that's why I haven't asked him about this stuff again, I don't want to hurt his feelings or put him on the spot. He says that he feels the same way about me, but I just can't believe it. I feel like all of the stuff he says he thinks and feels about me, he never actually shows with his actions. He says that I'm the most important person in his life and that he's never not thinking about me, but he's never shown his friends pictures of me and not even his boyfriend knows my name. I show everyone at my school pictures of him constantly and whenever I'm given a space in the conversation, I talk about him and how wonderful he is. He says he feels the same way I do, but I'm just as much of an introvert as he is. We've been like this for a year now and it's just painful at this point. I love him so much and he keeps saying that he loves me back but he doesn't do shit about it. He says that he'd be miserable if I died or vanished from his life, but recently we went four or five days without speaking to each other and he didn't even care that much. I just can't keep convincing myself that he loves me and cares about me. I'd really like advice, he's everything to me and idk what to do

Hi! I'm gonna be really honest, okay?

"I feel like all of the stuff he says he thinks and feels about me, he never actually shows with his actions."

THIS. a THOUSAND PERCENT this. You're putting so much into this relationship, and it's very clear that he can't give the same to you. SO now you have to decide, are you willing to be in a one-sided relationship or are you going to set some boundaries?

It sounds like you've already tried talking to him, so really I think these are the best two options. And I'm not judging you but what you choose, but it sounds like you already understand the situation and you are just nervous about saying anything because you don't want to lose him. But hon, it he really even giving you what you need in the first place?

It's a lot to think about, but remember that you're deserving, and whether its a friendship or more, you deserve someone who appreciates what they have when they have you.

Let me know what you think if you want!

I'm naming you worthy anon

[sevicia]

I 🩷 whining & bitching & moaning

yk how yesterday I was the one who ended up giving Mila the pill? well my sister's awake now and decided she was gonna do it (didn't even ask me) while I handed her treats and it took a bunch of tries too. & I don't think I would've gotten it 1st try either, but I know exactly how it goes when I wanna do something she doesn't think I'm capable of: she just doesn't let me do it. it's happened time & time again so I didn't even ask this time cause literally what's the point .....

everyone in my house constantly infantilizes me and genuinely seems to believe I can't do anything by myself. I'm going to a thing from uni about 1st year students (such as me) familiarizing themselves w/ the school campus & other introductory activities on Tuesday & my mom really anxiously told me we (her & I) should try to go to uni before that just so I'd know how to get there, when the route I have to take is literally just home -> bus stop -> metro -> get off -> walk 5 min in a straight line. I told her no, that I would be fine just getting there by myself on Tuesday and she reluctantly agreed.

+ a few days ago I overhead my dad talking about gifting me some money for some reason I'm not sure about, and my sister very seriously told him to just give it to our mom instead so she'd manage it for me, and he agreed. Her argument was that I'd just spend it too quickly which I understand cause I did that all the time when I was in highschool. Which was 3 years ago.

IDK like even when I try to do something I'm usually not capable of doing (mainly cooking), I'll ask a bunch of questions to make sure I'm doing it right to the point they get annoyed w/ me & just do it themselves like "you're too nervous just be more confident and do it already" meanwhile whenever I did things "confidently" in the past I always managed to fuck them up somehow and then get treated like I'm stupid and no one has made the connection that maybe when you constantly tell someone they're stupid while they're trying something new, they'll just stop trying .... ? because they don't want to be called stupid .... ?

It's also made me actually really adverse to try anything by myself cause I find I start thinking "someone else's gonna do it and even if I tried I'd just make it worse", but I don't feel that way when I'm home alone / away from home, it's literally just when I know I'm being judged by people who know me and are around me all the time

& when I manage to get something right I sometimes get praised but most of the time it's just "well you should've been able to do that a long time ago!" and like I know that it's true and that I'm not a dog that should get a treat for every new trick he learns but I just don't want it to be dismissed like that yk .... like just tell me "good job" or smth

I also think getting treated like a child all the time really makes my perception of myself as inherently unattractive / underisable a lot worse because I've just started to believe that everyone sees me as a kid so no one in their right mind would ever be attracted to me ykwim ? the fact that I'm relatively short doesn't help either

the way I get treated like a stupid child while also having adult expectations put on me is always so confusing, like I'm being pulled in 10 different directions and I enjoy none of them

+ I feel like even MORE of a brat for even complaining about this in the first place cause I've heard people say "man I WISH I had someone who did everything for me" and it just makes me feel horrible bc maybe I should be grateful that they care & worry about me so much and I'm just whining over nothing again

"how are you gonna survive when I'm gone ?!?!" from my mom and "you'll literally just die the second you move out" from my sister and "don't even try, it's too dangerous" from my dad and I just keep quiet because I can't even prove them wrong because they're not wrong. I CAN'T do anything by myself and I AM slow at everything (which is just me trying to avoid calling myself stupid) and I AM lazy and have no common sense.

maybe this is the reason most of my daydreams consist of me being like 30 and living on my own lol