#idk i know im feeling this way too because of how trapped i feel living here

[mewtwo24]

You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.

Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡

Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme

[neonpigeons]

maaaan I wasn't going to do anything for Halloween cuz I kinda forgot and had no motivation to try but now I'm seeing everyone online having fun and dressing up and I'm 😔😔😔

[heesdreamer]

YOUVE MADE ME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ sequel to YOU MAKE ME (could maybe be read as a stand alone but i don’t recommend it)

WARNINGS ➩ this is straight up full on porn.. i don’t often write full smut but! heeseung is very obsessed w reader in an unhealthy way and he has a pain kink, rough sex but it’s consensual and wanted from both parties

WC ➩ 6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ okay the point i made abt being anti part 2 comment still stands lol it just so happened im obsessed with this universe and these characters and i personally wanted smut for them so you guys get it as well lol! not proof read and i don’t rlly write smut much so idk if it’s any good lol but it’s 8am so i dont rlly care

“Are you sure she’s not going to care?” You were standing on a cracked cement porch, anxiously tugging on your bunny ears and hiding behind Heeseung’s tall frame as he messed with the lock on the door.

“Of course she won’t, she loves you.” He was shaking his head and trying to reassure you, swearing under his breath as he shook the handle with frustration.

He was referring to his grandmother that he lived with, a small frail woman who offered you kind smiles and slightly stale baked goods anytime her grandson brought you over for dinner or a sleepover.

She made the two of you sleep in the living room most the time, originally saying you had to sleep out there alone but eventually caving in when Heeseung really stressed the importance of sleeping beside you. You’d smiled softly when she had nudged you and called him clingy, knowing she didn’t even understand half of it.

You didn’t mind how clingy he was with you, always following close behind you throughout the school halls and draping himself onto your side in the library.

Heeseung had never been shy in his obsession with you, sometimes muttering things to you late in the night that caused a shiver to roll up your spine.

“Besides,” He was letting out a grunt as he finally managed to unstick the lock and shove forward into the old door with his shoulder. It flew open and he stumbled forward a bit before turning around to face you with a smile. “She won’t even know you were here.”

You frowned softly as you looked at his handsome face, adorned with two new piercings that weren’t there when you’d met him and a decorative black eye. He’d kissed you deeply when you first saw him with it, whispering into your mouth and requesting you didn’t ask him what happened.

You didn’t, because you rarely ever did, and simply kissed him back. The two of you carried a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ state of mind most of the time and it made things simple despite sometimes unnerving you with how little you still knew about him.

“Breaking in while she’s on vacation, you really are a delinquent.” You were retorting back to him and you took a few steps into the familiar house, not having been inside for a few weeks considering it was summer now and you and Heeseung spent most of your time together around different places, sleeping in his car or getting a cheap motel for the night.

You’d graduated not too long ago and Heeseung had attended the ceremony with a bright grin and a bouquet of flowers, not having gotten enough credits to actually walk himself.

It was easy for you to allow him to become your entire world, that feeling of familiarity and comfort never leaving despite how rocky your situations seemed sometimes. Throughout being low on money and having rough home lives, you never doubted what he felt about you and vice versa.

“You like me like this.” He was smirking down at you and leaning forward so he could close the front door, his arm going over your shoulder and trapping you against the wood for a few seconds. “Makes me interesting.”

“You’re interesting anyways.” You were frowning up at him, your hands coming up to hold his neck a few inches below his jaw and pull him down a bit so you could kiss him softly.

He was humming against your lips and immediately pushing himself forward so he could be pressed ontop of you, his hip coming up to your stomach due to the height difference. You could feel the bone and the thick metal of his belt pressing into your stomach uncomfortably and you shifted underneath him at the feeling.

“Does it hurt?” He was pulling back to whisper into your mouth when he noticed your movements and you nodded softly, wincing a bit at the feeling.

Heeseung was pausing for a few seconds before he was pressing himself harder against you, the studded spikes going deeper into your skin and you let out a small hiss into his open lips. He was kissing you again before pulling his hips back to avoid actually hurting you.

You’d realized pretty quickly that Heeseung had a particular taste when it came to pain, first noticing it in small things like the way he would bite down on your lip during heavy make out sessions. Then it transitioned to his breath hitching every time you’d pinch his arm for annoying you while you did homework, his habit of pushing you against the nearest surface and pinning you there.

The two of you had been taking it relatively slow, never surpassing long kissing sessions accompanied by rare heavy petting but he drove you crazy almost every time you were around him.

He’d get this certain look in his eye sometimes and your stomach would light up with want, taking in his large frame and the way he obsessed over you like you were the only thing he truly cared about. Sometimes you thought that you might be, as toxic as it sounds, Heeseung never applied any effort to anything or anybody outside of you.

“Tell me if it hurts.” He was whispering again and then kissing you before you could say anything, his hands going down to your hips to pull you tight against him at the same time he pressed his waist back into yours. You felt the sharp ends of the studs again and you gasped softly into his mouth.

“It hurts.” You whined and he let out a small hum, titling his head so the kiss kept getting deeper and messier every second. You could feel his tongue licking into your mouth and you stood on your tip toes so he could have better access.

“I bet it does.” He was retorting after a few seconds, his voice low and raspy now that he was out of breath and you felt your knees weaken when he was rolling his hips down into yours. The pleasure of feeling him against you was immediately followed by the pain of his belt. “You like it though, don’t you?”

He was asking but it wasn’t an actual question, already knowing the answer judging by the way you let out a small cry and wrapped your arms around his neck to keep yourself standing.

His big hands were leaving your hips, sliding down to hook under you thighs and you felt him lift one of your legs so it was wrapped around his waist. You whined again and he smiled darkly at the sound, glancing up at you before going back down to where your hips where fully meeting now.

After a few seconds of seeing if you were comfortable, he was rolling his lower half into yours again with more contact now that your legs were more spread. He was hard and pressing harshly against you, his cock tight in his ripped jeans and you let out a cry while gripping his neck tighter.

“Tell me you like it when it hurts.” He was demanding in a low voice, leaning forward to kiss your jaw softly and pet your hair back out of your face more. He gave you a look like he was waiting for permission for something and you nodded your head, melting at the smile he gave you when he slowly took off your favorite hat.

You didn’t say anything for a few beats, just letting out soft cries at the feeling of him practically dry humping into you against the door. You only managed to speak again when he was thrusting particularly hard and the spikes caught roughly on your skin.

“I like it.” You gasped out and ducked your face down into his neck, wrapping your leg tighter around his middle so he could have even more access to your aching core. “Fuck Hee, I like it.”

“I know baby.” He was quickly responding and you felt flushed at how calm he was managing to sound, meanwhile you don’t think you’d be able to stand on your own if he were to let you go. You tugged on his hair softly so he would move his head back to look at you and he paused for a second before doing so, watching you intensely.

You were leaning in to kiss him again, sloppy in your movements and you could feel spit running down your chin from the way you were trying to suck his tongue deep into your throat. He was groaning now finally and you felt a wave of pride at the fact you were affecting him too.

More than you realized, considering the squeal of surprise that was slipping from your mouth when he was reaching down to aggressively hoist your other leg up so you were completely being held up against him. You could feel how hard he was in his jeans, pressed into your middle as he stepped away from the door and swiftly carried you towards his bedroom.

You let out a small giggle when he was casually tossing you onto the mattress, bouncing slightly from the impact. It was immediately disappearing when you saw the look on his face, familiar and dark in a way that made your mouth part.

He was on top of you before you could say anything, kissing you deeply again and you tried to ignore the fact his knee was landing perfectly in between your legs. You were sure that if he moved up a few inches he would be able to feel you throbbing against him, feeling dizzy from how much you wanted him.

“My pretty bunny.” He was practically cooing at you now, resting on his elbows as he kissed down your jaw and neck. The difference between his sweet words and how roughly he handled you was making you head spin, your back arching off the bed so your chest could press against his. “Are you feeling needy baby?”

“Please.” You were whining out and reaching your shaky hands up to his hair, tugging at it and rolling your hips up to connect with his leg slightly. His eyes darkened and you felt one of his hands go back down to your legs, cupping under your knee and pulling you forward so your core was sat against his thigh. “Heeseung please.”

“Stop begging and fuck my leg.” He was cutting you off in your pathetic attempts to get him to touch you, slapping your hand away from where it was continuously pulling at the collar of his hoodie. You could feel your eyes watering from need but you tried to ignore it, rolling your hips like he told you too and letting out a long moan at the feeling of him.

He was watching you with amusement but his eyes kept darkening as you fucked yourself against his clothed thigh, arching your back and panting slightly. He was pressing it uncomfortably hard against you and you could feel him everywhere, so large in the way he was laying on top of you and moving your body around like a puppet.

“Look at my nasty girl.” His voice was low like he didn’t care if you heard him, mainly speaking to himself in an amazed tone at the way you were humping into him dumbly. “Using me to get off like this, my sweet bunny.”

“Hee.” You were crying out to try and get his attention back on you, the stimulation of his leg and voice driving you crazy with the lack of actual touching that was happening. He gave you a soft look like he was pitying you and your desperation, nodding softly and pushing your hair out of your face again before sitting up off your chest.

You watched him as he pulled his hoodie over his head, wearing nothing underneath and you let out another whine as you kept rubbing yourself against him. You’d seen Heeseung shirtless plenty of times, between cuddling with him in the mornings and wrapping his bruised rib cages when he’d come to find you late at night.

It still always made you feel insane, made you feel like the luckiest person on the planet to get to see him like this. He always would say he didn’t deserve you, preaching about how beautiful and otherworldly you are to him but you felt the exact same each and every time you got to see him, especially like this.

He was leaning back down to kiss you again after throwing his hoodie across the room and your arms immediately came up to wrap around him, rubbing your hands up his sides and tightening your hold on his skin until you knew it would leave a mark. You were moaning softly into the kiss and he seemed unsatisfied with the fact you were calming down, dropping off his knees so his hard on was pressed against you instead.

You didn’t process his movement until he was rolling his hips into yours again, pulling out of the kiss to gasp and look down to see where your bodies connected. He was rocking into you slowly and you kept your arms tight around him, digging your nails deep into his skin and drinking in the way he let out choked breaths into your neck.

He sat up again, just slightly this time and you watched him as he aggressively tugged your shirt over your head, nearly tearing it in the process. You felt shy immediately at the sudden air hitting your bare skin but he was stopping in his movements to stare down at you, pushing your hair behind your ear slowly and watching as you took deep breaths that made your chest rise and fall.

“Fuck.” He was eventually breathing out and he sounded completely transfixed, eyes shooting up to yours for a second before immediately going back down. “You’re so perfect.”

“Stop.” You were mumbling under your breath, reaching up to try and pull him back down on to you so you could have a bit more cover. He was shaking his head and furrowing his eyebrows at your insecure tone, although fulfilling your request and laying back on top of you. You gasped slightly at the feeling of his warm skin pressed against yours and he half smiled down at you.

“I mean it. I’d do anything for you.” His tone was serious as he said it and you stared into his eyes. The first few times he’d spoken like this you didn’t take him completely serious, thinking he was just flattering you or saying exaggerated things to try and express how much he cared for you.

You quickly realized that he meant exactly what he said every single time, especially in scenarios where he felt like you needed protection or that somebody had disrespected you in some way. You’d had to pull him out of restaurants for trying to go after men who stared at your ass for too long, whispering calming words in his ear every time he caught sight of your dad from the front window when he dropped you off.

“Anything?” You were whispering up to him, your eyes wide and faking innocence. As quickly as you realized he was serious, you also learned that you liked how he treated you. You liked to see how far he would go if it meant keeping you safe and happy.

“Anything.” He was repeating it firmly and you felt him rock his hips into yours again, your legs instinctively spreading to let him fuck himself into your clothed core as he kept speaking in that low tone. “Nobody could take you away from me, you’re mine now.”

“W-what if they tried?” You were trying to keep yourself collected enough to speak but your head was spinning from the constant feeling of his hard cock pressing into you so harshly. You’d never went this far with him but you thought about it every single time you were with him, just as obsessed with him when it came to touching and being together like this.

“I’d kill them.” He was shaking his head and his eyebrows were furrowing like the ideas was genuinely upsetting him, his hand sliding down to hoist your thigh back up so every thrust was directly hitting your throbbing clit. You let out a loud moan at the feeling and his eyes were shooting back up to yours, more wild now that you were egging him on. “It’s me and you forever, I’ll do everything to keep you with me I don’t care. Nobody can make you feel like I can.”

You couldn’t find the energy to agree with him but you were letting out small gasps of his name and clawing into his back every time he moved forward, one of your hands shakily coming down to tug at his large belt roughly until it caught his attention. His eyes shot down to where you were pulling and that half smirk was back on his face when he looked up again.

“Is that what you want?” His voice was teasing and you felt a dry sob wrack through you at how slow he was taking it, aching to feel him closer. “My baby wants me inside her?”

“Heeseung, please.” You were nearly fully crying now and you continued to tug at his belt in an attempt to undo it, successfully getting it out of the first latch and then whining in frustration when it got stuck on the second peg. He was laughing softly but his hands were smacking yours away as he quickly tugged it off and unbuttoned the top of his jeans. “I need it please, I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He retorted back and his voice was mocking this time, clearly referring to the way you had antagonized him a few minutes earlier. Nonetheless he was sitting up off you slightly to tug down your own pants, getting them down under your thighs and watching as you shifted around to finish the rest.

Now that you were both fully undressed you felt a wave of nervousness again, avoiding looking at him but feeling the way his eyes were hungrily scanning up and down your body. The vulnerability of being laid out in front of him strangely made a chill run down your spine and you could feel yourself clenching around nothing, knowing he was only a few inches away from being able to push himself inside you.

He still wasn’t doing anything after a few second and you finally glanced over to him with a pout, impatience coursing through you and your hand came up to rest on his arm and try to tug him back down on top of you.

It didn’t surprise you that he was watching you with an amused look on his face, liking the way you struggled and squirmed around his bed as you body tried to find relief somewhere. His big hands where sliding up your legs to rest against your stomach, pressing down against your rib cage and you sucked in a tight breath at the feeling of him touching you.

“Would you let anybody else touch you like this?” He was asking in that same low tone and you let out another impatient cry, knowing he already knew the answer and just wanted to hear you say it. “Answer me or I’ll get myself off and make you watch.”

His words were making your eyes widen with shock and you met his gaze, seeing how dark and serious they were as he monitored you like he was hunting you. You frowned again and he bit his lip slightly, tugging the metal jewelry that was hugging the skin into his mouth for a few seconds.

“Only you.” You were gasping out and nodding so he understood how much you meant it, his hands instinctively flexing against your middle at your words. “I only want you Hee, I’m yours.”

“Yeah you’re mine.” He was repeating himself again and laying back on top of you so he could pull you in for another rough kiss, his hand cupping your chin to stop you from moving. You let out a moan when you felt him spitting against your tongue, immediately swiping over it with his own and he let out his own groan when you were twisting your head to try and suck it deeper into your throat.

When he shifted again, your entire body arched at the feeling of him pressed directly against your sensitive clit. He chuckled into the kiss before purposely directing his hips into the same position so you could feel it again, gasping into his mouth and slapping his side in warning.

“Be nice.” He was mumbling into your mouth and you frowned when he was kissing you again, ignoring your smack against his skin and rubbing against you more and more until your head was completely spinning. “That’s my good girl.”

“I need you.” You were crying out and he groaned softly at the desperation in your voice, rumbling against your chest as he laid his head into your neck again for a few seconds. You could feel him biting down on your collarbone and a shiver ran through you as you ran your hand through his hair to get his attention back on you.

“You need me?” He was whispering when he picked his head back up, watching you intensely with a slightly wild look in his eye and you knew your words were fueling that obsession he carried in his heart, on the borderline of unhealthy with how eager he was to hear you repeat the words to him. “Tell me you need me again Y/N, tell me you can’t live without me.”

“I can’t.” You were repeating the words multiple times in a dizzy mantra, not thinking clearly considering he was still rutting against you as he spoke calmly and slow. If you didn’t know any better, didn’t see his fucked out expression as he stared down at you, you would’ve thought he was completely unaffected by how steady his tone was compared to yours. “Please Heeseung, I can’t. I’m going to go crazy, I need you so bad.”

He was nodding his head finally, seemingly satisfied with your words and he watched you for a few more seconds before his hand was running back down towards your ribs, passing them and softly caressing over your stomach instead.

A shiver ran through you and you watched his lip curl up at your body’s reaction, stretching underneath his piercing and you looked away quickly, more and more overwhelmed the longer you watched him. His hand was stopping just below your hip and you felt him squeeze the bone tightly, studying your expression for a few breaths before he was dipping down to swiftly kiss you.

“I can prep you.” He was saying into your mouth but the way he trailed off led you to believe he had another idea and you nodded your head eagerly for him to continue, hanging onto his every word. “Or I can just fuck you.”

You breath caught at the direct words, something that would normally make you feel shy if you weren’t completely lust drunk and desperate for him to do whatever he wanted to you. You almost told him that, told him you didn’t care what he did and you allow him complete control over your body, but instead you paused and tried to collect yourself for a few seconds.

“It’ll hurt.” He was saying, noticing you hadn’t gathered your thoughts and he was kissing you deeply again for a few seconds after the statement.

You both knew that wasn’t a dealbreaker at all, if anything the thought excited you more and caused your heart rate to increase. He seemed to know this considering the way his lip curled back into a smirk, your expression at the statement giving you away completely. You were wrapping your hand around his bicep that was still supporting his weight above you, nodding your head swiftly.

“My perfect girl.” He was cooing at you but his tone was almost mean, mocking you as he kissed his teeth suddenly. You glanced down to find the reason for his noise, flushing at the fact he was using his hand to adjust himself so he was lined up with your entrance. “Look at you, clenching around nothing just from looking at my cock.”

You flushed bright red and your eyes were snapping back up to meet his, drinking in how dark they were as he glared down at you. They were softening suddenly and he was kissing you again slowly, his mood changes causing your head to spin as you happily accepted the contact.

You could feel him pressing against you as you kissed, heart racing so hard it almost hurt at the fact you were finally going to have him completely, in all the ways you’d been imagining since you’d met him. Despite how twisted you knew he could be, he was sweet in the way he was caressing your face as he started to push into you.

Your mouth was parting in a gasp, face pulling back in a wince of pain at the sudden intrusion and you could feel your breath catching in your throat at the feeling of him nearly tearing you open.

“Breathe baby, fuck.” He was cursing under his breath and for the first time today, he sounded just as fucked as you were. His words were tight and forced and you figured it was because how tightly you were squeezing against him to try and stop the pain. “Bunny, you’ve gotta loosen up.”

You were instinctively shaking your head at the suggestion, your body screaming in rejection from how thick he felt pushing into you. You figured he was barely even halfway in considering how big he looked when you glanced down and you suddenly felt worried you weren’t going to be able to take him.

He stayed still for a few moments, letting you take deep breaths as he guided them alongside his own and you could vaguely feel his big hands pushing your hair out of your sweaty face and rubbing up and down your sides until the wave of pain subsided.

Then it was quickly replaced with a burst of pleasure, a small whine slipping from your mouth and you heard him almost chuckle in relief at the realization you’d managed through it. The pain was still there but it felt euphoric now that it wasn’t unbearable, the perfect amount of uncomfortable that you learned you liked so much because of him.

Heeseung was kissing you again briefly before pushing further in without any warning, a loud cry ripping through you as your hands came around to grip tightly into his back. He was sweaty under your hands and your stomach pressed against his when your back instinctively arched off the bed to try and run away from the foreign feeling.

“Let me fuck you, let me take care of you.” You could hear him grunting the words in your ear and you were nodding swiftly, immediately breaking into a fit of moans when he bottomed out inside of you and rolled his hips slightly to get you used to the feeling of his entire length.

“Heeseung.” You were slurring out and he laughed softly into your skin, his hand scrunching tightly in your hair before sliding down to your hip to hold you in place as he started to pull out of you.

You didn’t have time to catch your breath before he was slamming back into you with his entire length, a sob of pleasure wracking through you at the feeling of him fucking into you so aggressively matched with his big head keeping you pinned against the mattress. He was sucking in tight breaths near your ear but your head was too dizzy to hear him completely, lost in the feeling of him repeatedly ramming himself inside of you.

“All mine.” His words were slowly filtering in and you gasped again at how fucked out he sounded, almost angry as he spat the words directly near your ear. “You’re all fucking mine, my perfect girl. Just made for me, only I get you like this.”

You were trying to nod at his words or show him form of agreement but you couldn’t bring yourself back to reality long enough, you didn’t think he was paying attention anyways considering the way he was relentlessly pushing himself into you at a pace that was nearly too painful.

Heeseung was slipping forward slightly off his elbow, losing his balance from how hard he was fucking into you and you could feel his chest slam against yours in a way that shoved the breath out of your lungs. You knew you probably looked completely wrecked, tears streaming down your face as you let out continuous cries of his name and slurred words that didn’t make any sense.

You could feel that slightly familiar intense feeling building in your stomach, scratching down his back to try and communicate that you were getting close and he luckily seemed to understand because you could feel him nodding his head against your shoulder, his hips sloppy in their assault now as he got closer too.

When you were coming undone, your vision went black for a second and you could feel his hand slipping off your hip and reaching up to cup under your chin roughly, pulling you in for a bruising kiss as he finished alongside you.

The kiss was messy and painful, teeth clashing together as he licked into your mouth and you could feel him slowly pushing into you a few more times, tingling in overstimulation at the feeling of him pressing against your sensitive clit before he was stopping and leaning against your chest more.

His room was silent outside of the sound of your heavy breathing, trying to gain the air back that had disappeared and not returned since he threw you onto his bed. That vulnerable feeling was creeping back up and you suddenly felt very exposed even though he was completely covering your body, even more so when he was slowly slipping himself out from inside of you and clearing his throat gently.

At first you thought he was feeling awkward too, sitting up slowly and shifting off the bed until he could cross the room into the connected bathroom. You laid there in silence, slightly hurt that he had walked away without saying anything before he was swiftly returning with something in his hand, bending down to grab his hoodie and a pair of sweatpants before he came back to the bed.

You watched him in silence, biting your lip anxiously, as he pulled the sweatpants over his legs and glanced down at you. His eyes had completely softened now, that dark edge missing as he gently helped you sit up against the pillows.

“My perfect girl.” He was pushing your hair back again and pressing a wet towel, what you now realized was what he had went to grab, against your forehead softly. He was wiping the sweat from your face and trailing it down your neck.

You still didn’t say anything when he helped you sit up more so he could slip his hoodie over your frame, flushing at the fact he was letting you wear his favorite one despite the fact you were still sweaty and gross.

He was climbing back up on the small bed, the two of you barely able to fit side by side on it but you leaned into his body when you felt his hip against yours and he tugged you closer so you were halfway in his lap and laying your head down on his shoulder.

“You okay? Did I hurt you?” His voice was gentle and you smiled softly although he couldn’t see it, liking the fact he could quickly go back to being so sweet despite how rough he just was with you.

“Not in any way I didn’t like.” You were telling him and you picked your head up so you could look at his face.

His hair was a lot longer now, completely covering his eyes when it was dry and fluffy and he didn’t style it. You’d memorized every mark or scar on his features, stared into his eyes for hours on end and watched how they changed and shifted with each emotion he felt or every story he told you.

He had a specific look that he only ever carried when he was looking in your direction or talking about you, something past love and adoration. Something so intense that you would be scared of it if you didn’t feel it too, that deep pull to him that didn’t go away no matter how many days you’d spent together trying to figure it out.

“Stay here tonight.” He was whispering to you and you heard a hint of that insecurity that he sometimes carried back when you’d first met him, not yet showing you all of him and his personality and unsure if you’d accept him for his faults.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You were shaking your head and reminding him, a deeper meaning behind your words other than just spending the night with him here in this house. You knew he worried about you leaving him eventually, telling you a few times late at night how insane it would make him if you ever did.

It was easier to reassure him that you wouldn’t go anywhere, tell him you didn’t have anywhere else you’d want to be and you loved to be with him. It was easier to say this and try to calm his wandering mind over having to admit that you felt the exact same way, your skin itching at the idea of going without him for an extended period of time. You knew it would be dangerous to admit that you were just as crazy as he was.

So instead you kissed him softly and pushed his bangs out of his sweaty face, letting him hold you tightly in his arms and check over your body for any bruises or marks he might’ve caused.

He didn’t need to know how much you craved his insanity.

So instead you kissed him softly and pushed his bangs out of his sweaty face, letting him hold you tightly in his arms and check over your body for any bruises or marks he might’ve caused.

He didn’t need to know how much you craved his insanity.

[melonsharks]

Tell us everything about the parent trap au immediately please please please

to give u an insanely quick rundown with a wip art i have:

aziraphale as elizabeth. wedding dress designer under his pen name A.Z. Fell. (hes an artist as confirmed in s2 and the whole "drawing on napkins" thing elizabeth would do appeals to me immensely)

crowley as nick. owns a vineyard. I NEED HIM TO OWN A VINEYARD SO BAD. shoutout to Old Vines on ao3 for changing me in a fundamental way. he makes wines and he tends to the vines and he is so passionate about it to an abusurdist degree. he yells at his vines when they arent growing right. you already knowwww.

when they meet for the first time, they don’t meet on a boat like in the movie, they actually meet at a wedding party :J crowley was a wine collector, just starting out. he loved offering aziraphale samplings of his most vintage collection out of impulse. (he likes seeing the way aziraphale savors them) (he’s besotted) Wants to own his own vineyard one day. aziraphale, on the other hand, has dreams of becoming a fashion designer of sorts, always drawing ideas on any scraps of paper he can find. his designs are very old fashioned, but thats like… part of the appeal. his work very much reflects who he is, and the people who flock to it understand that.

they enter this kind of… whirlwind relationship, they get married, and then eventually adopt two golden haired blue eyed baby boys. twins. :J warlock and adam.

they break things off because aziraphale leaves... alluding to their recent breakup in season two, the reason he left was because "we both clearly had very different ideas on where our lives were going. so. i packed up and left." (parallel s2 divorce 😋 they don’t know how to talk to each other) (aziraphale throws a book at his head after this argument, like the hairdryer in the movie LOL. it was pride and prejudice. crowley still has it.)

aziraphale leaves with adam. warlock is left with crowley. crowley eventually leaves London because he finds he cant stand being anywhere near Aziraphale (hes just irresistible in that way), and he goes to California where he finally fulfills his dream of owning a vineyard. a nice one on Napa, Northern California.

Aziraphale’s wedding dresses become more and more well known, Adam grows well-adjusted. Same kid you know from the show and book, natural born leader, a good head on his shoulders. (Aziraphale has no idea why Adam is like that, but he is so proud)

Crowley’s vineyard (The Garden Of Eden) grows and grows… Warlock is spoiled rotten, but he does love actually working at the vineyard with Crowley to and he and Crowley have a really good relationship…

Eventually the kids go to a summer camp together in London (i dont know if they . do this in the UK, but suspend your disbelief if you will) Adam meets The Them there, then meets Warlock after a nutty fencing thing, they kind of hate each other at first and the rest is history :J

side characters UM. LOL. idk……. i mean i kind of know but not really? theres just so many possibilities that make the rounds in my head. chessy could be anathema OR nina (ive had people suggest eric too?) and martin could be newt OR maggie (ive also had people suggest muriel????) gestures vaguely.

as for meredith…….erm…………🤷‍♂️ ive had everything under the sun suggested to me and i still……have no idea. LOL. gabriel, lucifer, shaX, FURFUR, THE WIFE FROM THE NON-SPOILER SPOILERS. I DONT KNOW. IT ALL FEELS WRONG. its hard to come up with this role in particular when these gay bitches literally only have eyes for each other. always. forever. u know. i think lucy is like. the classic answer. but idfk.

ask me about . more things if u want. this is consuming my every thought.

anyways the cover im working on for. for something:

[yonpote]

as someone who wasnt here at the time (was a fan from about 2011-2013) what exactly defines the "softlaunch era" pre-coming out that i hear you and others refer to?

you've come to the right place cuz this is the era when i truly became a Phannie... "gay softlaunch" is generally considered 2017-18, but to be more specific it was october 31, 2016-june 13, 2019!

before they came out this was also referred to as "post-baking universe" referencing the halloween 2016 monster pops video that had an (at the time) abnormal amount of raunchy humor and just general derangedness. nothing like it is today, but that point felt very significant and dan even brought it up in liveshows like yeah idk what happened there and when phil called a peach an ass in a gaming video dan said "we live in a post-baking universe" (i believe fans coined the term tho).

people have also called it the "glass closet era" which is a divisive name for a lot of people cuz "glass closet" can be seen as kind of a mean term and it implies like, stereotyping or speculating or the "we been knew" behavior dan had talked about in BIG. which i understand that feeling, but i don't think that's what was happening, because the way i see it was queer flagging. ways they could show a little bit who they really were without saying it just yet. they weren't Out out, but they were just like. openly talking about attraction to men and finding men hot and not calling it a Man Crush or anything. dan would bring up queerness more often in liveshows, which hes mentioned queer artists and stuff before but now it was also making jokes about like.. being in a gas leak man porn fantasy in his first livestream of 2017 LMAO. phil would make a lot more innuendos, which hes always done, but now he wasnt pretending like he didnt know what he was saying. dan started wearing a single hoop earring on his right ear. this is an old school form of queer flagging, in The Olden Days (im too lazy to look up when but like my 70-something year old history teacher knew about this) if a man had an earring on his left ear, he's straight, and if he had one on his right, he's gay. that one's pretty subtle if you don't know much about queer history and there were Great Debates over whether or not we should take it to mean he is gay, but personally i saw it as like. he was letting us know without needing to say the G word out loud just yet!

i think a really important part of this era was even outside of directly discussing queerness, they were both trying to become more authentic online and figuring out how to do that without compromising their own privacy. dan stopped straightening his hair and rebranded and opened up about his mental health. phil's authenticity journey seemed a bit slower and wasn't as overt or seemingly drastic as dan's was, but it was happening! he changed up his hair!!! which yes its kinda silly to talk abt dnp's hair but the emo fringe was Their Brand. phil in particular said that, the emo fringe was a comfort place but he was feeling like he was trapped in having it forever because it was Who He Was, so it was a huge deal for him! he opened up a little bit about his physical health, both of them were a bit more honest about all the stress and anxiety they were dealing with (the mukbang is a pretty good video where they talk about that and an interesting one to watch in retrospect) and their whole 2018 tour was themed around whether they should Give The People What They Want or do what they wanted to do.

god i talk too much ANYWAY then dan disappeared in 2019 and phil was manning the helm for a good five and a half months and then the Big Gay hit! the Hard Launch Era if you will :) and now i would say 2023-present is the Unhinged Era so i have no clue what the hell their next move is gonna be...

[fictitious-fluff]

Okok hear me out...

You know tadc right? You know how they do activities right?

What if one of the activities included a tickle monster

JUST THINK ABOUT IT-

Them having to defeat a giant tickle monster and caine thinking its a good idea for everyone to laugh after being trapped there for so long and not being able to feel actual happiness.

LIKE. IT KINDA FITS THE GLOINKS TOO- maybe there could even be mini puffballs or smth that would like crawl onto em and jus start tickling the shit out of them SJHSKSHS

IM DEF GONNA EXPAND ON THIS SOMEDAY. DESIGNS, FICS. WHEN I HAVE THE TIME, I WILL DO IT JUST YOU WAIT. I'm claiming this idea as mine cause Im actually getting rly hype just thinking about this already and I wanna expand on it (provided no one has said it before ofc since idk if its been mentioned before-)

More rambling under the cut

-

Ok, yes I'm a little basic but...ngl my fav character is still jax so I'm gonna ramble a lil bit about how I'd think he'd react LOL

Judging from his interaction with the gloinks and stuff, I feel like jax would treat the whole thing as a joke. I mean, tickling? No way he'd treat that seriously

...untik he actually gets captured while trying to roast the monster.

He'd get tickled to BITS. The others would 100% never let him live it down

Bonus if he was actually trying to provoke the monster but still wanted to seem like its just him being him because he'd never admit he actually liked it. Even though I feel like he'd never rly give them a chance to tickle him out in the open cause of his pride, a part of me is jus giving the excuse of him being desperate enough to be like fk it I'm jus gonna do this HSJHSJSHS

[sing-singy]

Hi!!!!! I noticed your host!Amelia doodles and i thought it was SO cool and just wanted to know if you had any more info abt it?????? sorry to bothhher

Hi ♡ thank you for finding interest in it. I dont mind asks at all so dont even worry about that either... onto the actual question. Ill be real, most of my ideas for that au arent planned because the idea of it wasnt planned either. ...it came out of me playing tomadachi life. . . I can just recount everything so it makes more sense maybe

Scenty doesn't make them do challenges she keeps them on the plane to live life like theyre bugs and basically finds joy in being able to watch them and maintain control while also craving more interaction from other people. this ultimately means that no one gets eliminated and no one is in any real danger. however, Charlotte is literally dying from the mold and ends up . yknow, dying. Freaking Scenty out because one she didn't expect it and two since she had never killed anyone during their stay in the plane she never learns the respawn command making it even more of a disaster to her mental state lol

Ok so this is where things get fuzzy im not to sure how charlotte does it BUT SHES ABLE TO NAVIGATE THE RADIO (maybe another stone is there in the waiting room idk let me have this) and ultimately is able to arrive back at earth. Parker runs into her they have a whole back and forth, Charlotte is avoiding him with her mixed feelings while Parker wants them to have some sort of communication because hes equally as worried for her as he is frustrated. Im pretty sure i planned for them to investigate the whole plane and maybe even more about Scenty (without knowing its the unknown 'deity' who trapped her and the others.) Charlotte concluded she has to stop Scenty by going back which . means she has to kill herself. Which Parker is immediately against and they have their second big fight but it ends with Charlotte dying anyway.

anyway SOMEHOW Charlotte is able to go to Scentys world and wow she finds out shes a normal person who just decided to fuck around and find out i guess. Scenty is immediately overwhelmed with joy because wow Charlottes here and shes alive! And shes. not a murderer, hah. But Charlotte is pissed so they definitely have a very funny bonding moment where Charlotte has to suppress the urge to kill this naive and too overbearing candle. While trying to figure out how to stop what she's doing with everyone else.

..and yeah, the ending is basically undecided because i had planned for either one of them to die.. OR BOTH who knows really but i still dunno either way so there's that. I hope you enjoyed my long spiel cause this might be what you get for a while lol and if none of this makes sense, then sorry, but i literally can not construct anything comprehensible in my current state LOL

[jovenshires]

hi katie jovenshires im a big fan. if ur ok with sharing, what ships are in the botb au and what are the vibes for each 👀

thank you so much!! <3<3<3

hmm i've been thinking about this and i think i'm only deadset on spommy, ianthony, kolivia, and amangela as far as like. my canon goes. not sure what if any other ships im gonna include... ive gone back and forth with shaymien and shaynse too but not sure!!

but, i will say, for the most part the edits are mostly left up to interpretation so you can all decide whatever ships you want really!! (or if you don't want any ships at all that's cool too <3) like i've said to me the botbau is a little collaborative barbie world that we can all make whatever we want out of. like i told someone the other day - if you wanna write a fic or make an edit or something for this and it doesn't exactly line up with what i might write or think ab the au... PLEASE go for it. it is out there, public domain now, do with it what you will. and i will love and eat it up no matter what!!

as for the vibes in MY head, i will throw them under the cut so this post doesn't get too long KFNLKNKFNF

spommy: i've covered this a little before here so if you want the full version check that out but BASICALLY spommy is kind of rivals-to-friends-to-lovers except tommy has an Extremely one-sided beef and spencer just thinks he's cool and wants to be buds. eventually spencer wins him over and then... uh oh! love! once again skimmin some details that, if i ever Write A Fic for it, will be spoilers. but that’s the idea you know

ianthony: taking this directly from my dms to lilac but basically. ianthony botbau my beloveds....... to relearn how to co-pilot something with someone that should come so second-hand to you but you're both different people now but your feelings carry through anyway for who they were and are and will be........ yeah theyre everything to me. in a way it's a mirror to life/what actually happened to them with smosh (art imitates life) but the divorce era was even MORE famous because they're like a household name so it was a lot more pressure. idk yet if they were together beforehand and then broke up and now they're getting BACK together or if they had unresolved feelings they never dealt with and now they're struggling to reconcile them with their renewed friendship AND reunited band/the fame that comes from that... but either way they are Messy. im obsessed.

kolivia: kolivia in this au fascinates me because in my head keith is kind of known for being a player and fucking around but i think he stopped that Ages ago because. these two are basically dating. like they don't put a label on it and it's not public and i don't even know if THEY know how in love they are. but they live together. they sleep together "just to blow off steam" (come on now). they don't date other people. everyone can see it but them type beat. olivia's like "he's not my boyfriend" and then picks up the phone and is like "hi baby do you want chinese for dinner" NDLFKNANKSFLN like they are exclusive and they have deep feelings for each other but they are both so deeply in denial that they swear they're not dating. they have realistically been in a relationship for like five years.

amangela: RIVALS TO LOVERS AGAINNNN i have talked about this one a Lot with baflegacy bc like. they are my roman empire. at least these two have met on multiple occasions and actually fought with each other - they keep meeting at gigs/in bars and bickering. angela "clearly abba is the best band ever" giarratana and amanda "WHAT about fleetwood mac you DUMB ASS" lehan-canto. like they meet a bunch and EVERY time they end up bickering. meanwhile angela keeps seeing thirst traps of amanda on tiktok and being like "why are all the lesbians obsessed with her she SUCKS" and chanse and arasha, who have heard this three million times, are like "yeah okay buddy whatever helps you sleep at night." meanwhile amanda is living her bliss <3 and then they realize they're both in battle of the bands and uh oh! things come to a head!

[wanderingcas]

I would LOVE to know how the ending changed!!!! 👀💞

OKAY PERFECT IT'S 1AM AND I CANT SLEEP SO I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE

spoilers under the cut if anyone hasn't read it yet and wants to remain surprised

so in the original ending i had gadreel as one of lucifer's hired men rather than a detective (there's a leftover detail of that in one of sam's pov chapters where jody holds up a mugshot of gadreel. gotta change that still oopsie daisy). i was going to have cas leave the lighthouse, then come back to the lighthouse upon the threat of gadreel being there and holding dean at gunpoint or something idk

and then basically cas and dean have a showdown with gadreel at the lighthouse, they do a cute murder, and dean washes gadreel's body away with the tide. the storm comes and they decide that they can't stay - they have to go on the run since lucifer/lucas knows where cas is. dean decides to go with cas.

SO THE REASON i didn't like this ending about 75% into writing the draft (💀) was because i really liked the theme of choice and freedom that was emerging through the fic - with dean feeling as if he's trapped in the lighthouse and has no other choice juxtaposed with cas feeling as if he has to be on the run and has no other choice. it felt much more meaningful for dean to choose to leave the lighthouse not under duress but because he chooses it for himself. annnd with cas returning to the lighthouse and deciding to face his fate not because of dean being in danger (i mean he thinks that at first because im a jerk and wanted to throw in one last red herring) but because he simply wants to be with dean and chooses to stop running and simply live his life the way HE wants to live it - that felt more significant to me.

so with cas choosing to stay with dean, and dean choosing to leave with cas, it just felt like the perfect symmetry for them 🫶

also the murder thing just kinda soured the plot to me, too - i wanted to give them some softness. although the idea of cas going COMPLETELY feral at dean being hurt and held at gunpoint was delicious to me. i will be sure to include this in the next fic i write 🫡

[thesillyvivi]

i made a post asking if u guys would like my oc being a failed eva/trish thingy (would it be eva or trish i still dont know) and i think yall did and i did say if enough people liked it i would make a post going a bit more into it. yeah. something like that. anyway this is thay post

be warned this is one of the few times ive decided to write out oc lore n stuaff so it migjt be a little sloppy. a bit bad. im not a professional at this sort of thing. we ball

ok yap time

so the whole idea was that Liniyal (the dmc oc in question) was like. a proto trish i guess u could say???? that eventually escapes mallet island and tries to live a normal life. or as normal as she can all things considered

how she escapes i havent really figured out yet. i think during the collapse would make tje most sene but thats as far as that goes. i heard that trish and dante got there by boat so maybe she made her own little makeshift boat and skedaddled??? who knows. but she Gets Out

the only reason why mundus even keeps her long enough that she manages to escape is that he wanted to punish her failure (even if technically he was the one that failed) by keeping her locked up and showing her what she couldve been and what she couldve done when he finally creates the perfect one aka trish. its like when a parent says "you should/could be more like (person)" but way worse if that makes sense

so then dmc1 happens and all the while liniyal is like somewhere just kinda trapped and then mundus is defeated and shes able to be set free since his magic stuff was beung used to keep her locked up and since hes like gone? probably? it would kinda just disappear. you know??.????

so yada yada she escapes and arrives to main land and the immediate first thing she wants to do is remove or cover anything that reminds her of what she is. basically starting a new life or at least trying to

its like a V situation where she has to go around stealing stuff and hunting demons 4 food (since i think he does that in vov) at first she probably has the mosy horrendous fashion taste but for like 95% of her life she WAS naked so u cant blame her too much. she does get better eventually i hopr

ive yet to decide whether or not i want to give her a buddy who like helps her w everythinf because while i do think it would be nice idk if id want to make it a canon character and if not that would mean id have to make up a whole new character and i just Dont Know how to go about that. maybe i can jusg say there was some guy and you can put your own interpetations on em if u wanted

also still thinkimg about when she would actually appear in "canon" either during dmc4 or dmc5. not sure when in dmc4 but for 5 i thought about maybe her firsy appearence would be in the far background when nero is fightinf (checks notes) artemis kinda like how in the one dmc4 cutscene you can see dante just chilling while neros kicking ass

and then her like meeting appearence if that also makes sense would be when V or nero come across a later boss (still on surface or when v is in the queen empusa area) and she gets like whacked so one of em decides they gotta like help??? and soon enough she'll be bavk on her feet and syart fighting alongside em and be like a companion. dont know where to go after that though

i 100% do think that if she were to ever meet trish it would be AWKWARD. even if trish wouldnt know her (another thing i havent decided on. that comes up a lot in here) she would know trish and just feel all weird aroun her because. You Know

and i think? thats all i can think off the top of my head????? it is fsirly late when im writing this so idk i might be too tired to remember anything else that would be important

i hope this isnt a let down like i said im not very good this sort of thing. at some point i think im gonna make a ref that has liniyal, trish, and eva to likr compare them and see how liniyal was considered a failure. and thrn also her weapon and yada yada

if anyone has any suggestions or questions or corrections u wanna make feel free to reblog or senf me an ask i am open to Everything

okauy. goodnight

[jackienautism]

edit : you know just ignore this entire thing im just stupdi 😭 keeping it up still but . yeah

my thought of the night:

idk idk. i just . it rly irks me when ppl characterize amanda as this ruthless killer? fnsjfnd like. that’s just. not it.? YES she is a killer and shit and she’s def no angel but. she wouldn’t stab me just because i asked for her pronouns?FNSJFNS LIKE

even UNDER john’s influence, that’s just not how she operates yk? she’s only like that whenever she believes lynn is attempting to get between her and john. she’s only like that bc of her unhealthy relationship. WITH JOHN. if john had NO influence in her life, had not taken her under his wing, she wouldn’t be willing to pull a gun on someone just bc they’re getting “between” her and him. she isn’t necessarily violent, unless i’m reading things COMPLETELY incorrectly. she’s only violent when her relationship w/ john is at stake LMAO

her kills (outside of her Attempts towards lynn) are typically an act of mercy. not to say that makes things any better, but. she doesn’t kill bc she wants to or bc she doesn’t have anything better to do. she kills adam and she STILL regrets it to the point of harming herself like😭 and the only reason why she’s there to witness kerry’s death, as another post mentioned and def explained much better than me, was bc of her inherent involvement w/ eric. it was probably almost like a . thing to bring her solace or whatever. and her rigged traps? it’s all to prevent them from undergoing the “rehabilitation” process. to prevent them from living the life, the trauma SHE had to live after surviving her trap. basically she’s saying that dying is soooo much better than whatever the fuck she had to go through lol

does that make her an angel? of course not. does that make her much more interesting and NOT ruthless? yeah. at least imo it does

like. she wouldn’t just beat me up for no reason. she’s not someone who would piss on me and also spit on my grave. like ? unless i’m just ?????? totallly mischaracterizing her? LIKE . even JOHN says that her emotion is her downfall. the reason WHY she is killed in the first place is BC she cares too much. she cares too much abt john and her relationship w/ him. THATS why she shoots lynn. and THATS why she couldn’t save gabriela. her loyalty to john means so much more to her than most things. she cares WAAAY too much, to the point that it kills her

and saying and implying that she’s a killer and is violent bc she wants to be just …. it rly disregards and takes away that aspect of her character

and i truly don’t think that her being added as a dead by daylight killer helps here either LOL LIKE. i wouldve looooved to see her as a survivor but i totally understand why she wouldn’t be one. but at the same time . she’s not LIKE most other killers there yk? she’s basically manipulated into being a killing machine. by fucking john. bc SHE was supposed to take over his legacy once he died. if john had NO involvement in amanda’s life, she wouldn’t be the way she is

and like….. yeah that’s what makes her character interesting blah blah blah BUT. and hear me out. amanda never killed before she was recruited LMAO she kills now bc she feels like she has to. to save ppl from whatever shitty fate awaits them

idk if this makes any sense at all but . idk it just irks me brother. bc she isn’t your typical slasher. she’s sooo much more than that. she isn’t inherently violent. she wouldn’t beat me up and call me names . unless she had a reason to yk😭

LIKE basiclalg what i’m saying is. yes amanda is a killer. but that doesn’t mean she’s heartless and mean and shit. in fact she’s the complete opposite?????

i could go on a whole thing abt her actions and whatnot in saw ii despite already being an apprentice by thag point, but i’ll spare y’all the details. but. how she held herself and others in that murder house? most of it was def NOT faked. she genuinely cared for these ppl and wanted to see them succeed. and look at how she sympathized w/ gabriela? she cares TOO much which prevents her from being the Great apprentice to jigsaw and his legacy

i forgot exactly what john said, but after hoffman told him that he didn’t expect to feel remorse after putting the guy in the barbed wire trap? he says smth along the lines of needing to be detached from your emotions… . and that’s something amanda CAN NOT do. she lets her emotions dictate her actions ALL the time

yeah ok i just checked and he said that theheart can never be involved... that it can never be personal... and you know what amanda does ALL the time? ESP w/ gabriela?

went all over the place here sorry. but saying that she’s the WORST person on the planet is just wrong. like. watch how she held herself in her interview w/ police and that rockstar deleted scene and then we can talk abt amanda .

idek what i’m trying to say here . uhhhmmm. amanda young isnt an inherently violent and shitty person, you all are just stupid

[hyperrealisticblood]

thoughts on banwally. i've never played any of garten of banban so you are my only reference for what happens in those games and consequently, what makes banwally a compelling crackship.

buddy..... you have opened a can of worms you could have never prepared for

when or if I started shipping it: i actually have an exact date, may 29th of last year. everyone in my friends server is really into crackshipping so we like to share random ideas with each other and i posted them as an idea on that date. i have never been the same since

my thoughts: crackships are kind of hard to talk about in this context because there isnt anything canon to go off but ill do my best. when welcome home first started gaining traction i saw a lot of people saying "this is what good mascot horror looks like" (whether or not wh even counts as mascot horror is. debatable.) so me associating banban and wally with each other was already a thing before i started shipping them. at some point i realized they both have a lot in common (monotone voices, often associated with devil imagery, passive most of the time but gets a little Silly with it sometimes) and i was like woah.... they should kiss. again a lot of my thoughts surrounding them are based in headcanon so im struggling to talk about them in a way that doesnt make me sound fucking insane BUT im a sucker for pessimist/optimist ships and they very much fit that to me. i think they balance each other out in a way, wally is a bright spot in the Endless Misery banban deals with on a daily basis, and banban is pretty logical and grounded which levels out wallys spacey-ness. theyre very much a jessica and roger rabbit "he makes me laugh" type of deal but with the fun addition of identity issues and whatever the fuck wallys deal is

what makes me happy about them: the fact that theyre both freaks of nature (banban is a weird clone manmade abomination thing, wally is either straight up an eldritch entity or a manmade puppet with eldritch qualities) is another thing they have in common to me, so i think theyd be accepting of each others weird traits because they know what its like. banban doesnt give a fuck that wally is up to some scp shit, he might as well live in the scp containment facility. theres a kingdom run by a giant kangaroo woman with a magic scepter who is in charge of keeping a bunch of baby demons and the father(?) of those baby demons trapped in her pouch or else the entire kingdom will be destroyed. he has seen weirder. banban wouldnt just love wally because hes handsome and hes nice to people, he loves all of his weird traits too because they arent even weird to him.

what makes me sad about them: they lend themselves pretty well to angst (i hate that word but idk a better one to describe this) because theyre both from horror media, and i like to pelt my favorite characters with hammers so >:) my friends and i (same friends who got me into crackshipping) have a group rp thing going on, and theres a mini arc going on right now based on the fact that banban got SUPER fucked up trying to fight sir dadadoo and his army. wally wants banban to leave the kindergarten because of how dangerous it is, he wants him to live in home where he doesnt need to fear for his life all the time. but despite all the horrors he has to put up with, banban doesnt want to leave everyone in the underground behind. theyre still his friends, and he wants to protect them. as much as wally wants him to be safe, he understands where hes coming from because he wouldnt want to leave his friends behind either. this leaves him feeling really conflicted and confused, and the homewarming update taught us that wally doesnt do well with those kinds of feelings. just some thoughts for yall <3

things done in fanfic that annoys me: nobody except me would wanna write fanfic about them and im too depressed slash lazy to actually write anything so. uh

things I look for in fanfic: see above

my kinks: size difference where the top is the smaller one i have no such things. i am a man of the lord.

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: wallaby (wally/barnaby) is pretty epic so if that ends up being canon i wouldnt be mad lmao. ive also been wondering if wally might end up whoever "w" is (the awayfrompryingeyes.net mod) because clown said theres another ship that will be canon but that he cant talk about because its inherently a spoiler somehow, id be fine with that too. not much to say about banban because gobb doesnt do romance aside from whatever the fuck nabnab and nabnaleena have going on

my happily ever after for them: things finally calm down at the kindergarten to a point where banban feels comfortable leaving to be with wally, and whatever the hell is going on with home also calms down. banban would still visit the others obviously (i think he would introduce some of them to wallys friends, barnaby and bittergiggle would get along super well i think) but he can finally be somewhere where he isnt constantly fearing for his life :]

uhh tldr dont say "what if i shipped this" as a joke. it will become no longer a joke and you will write like a million words about two characters from entirely different media who have never met and never will meet. worst mistake of my life

[meet-at-tycho]

sorryyy its late and i am filled with joy and whimsy. i love them so much, my sibling always gets annoyed with me cuz theyre all i talk about.. can you blame me? to have that vast boring nothingness shift into excitement and happiness and real true love? if you were me, youd talk about it too

its so funny cuz my life seems to move in cycles, familiar patterns that ive grown really sick of.. traumatizing and terrible, horrible bloody mess.... and then the most long drawn out boring slice of life youve ever witnessed. trauma! nothing! trauma! nothing! really tired of that.. i never thought that my nothing could be broken with joy, isnt that strange? for once, im not really hurting anymore. when i do hurt, i can handle it on my own and let go, and if its too much then i know im safe to express it

ive come such a long way, i dont tend to see myself positively, but.. its hard not to be proud. guys it turns out all you need to be happy is like. LOVE isnt that so corny isnt that so unbelievably predictable... APPARENTLY its true, i guess it feels different when yr actually experiencing it firsthand

im like on the verge of tears right now but. theres no sweeter joy than this, its so fucking BIZARRE. how did it happen this way? all the little bits and pieces that fell into place, delivered me angels and made me whole again.. cheesy, i know im being cheesy but i cant help it!! im sweet on them as often as i can be but theres still a lot of things i just.. dont have the strength to say directly. so i say them here, im sure only one of you will see this anyways. but i dont need either of you to see it, just speaking my feelings out into open air eases my mind a bit more

sometimes im like wow! theres no way this is healthy im . can i really experience true love? love that doesnt hurt? love thats REAL? as much as im tempted to deny it, im living it every day!!! i wake up and theyre both there to greet me, isnt that sweet? the first people i speak to when i wake up, the last people i say goodnight to when i go to sleep

i think i just need someone, i think im the kind of person that just.. ive been alone for a while, its OKAY its whatever, ive definitely grown used to it but. i thrive when im with them, its so? maybe all i need is someone else to keep me here.. ive got two!!!!!

maybe thats not clear enough

the way id get through that droning loneliness is escapism, nonstop daydreams and dissociation, i was barely here. only to eat and take care of my body a little bit, then its back to fantasy, because .. theres people who love me in my dreams! but.. im honestly finding it so hard to slip back into that habit now. its scary, because its whats kept me safe. hiding in fiction has kept me safe, kept me calm, happy.. but i cant shake it out of my head!!!! any time i try to fall back into those routines, the only thing i can think of is THEM.. like yeah this is great and all but.. i dont want to be trapped in my head anymore!!! theyre out there, i want to be out there..

if im honest? its terrifying. im forced to come to terms with ME as a person, who i am, something ive neglected to acknowledge for my entire life, but. im so completely wrapped up in my love for them that i hardly think about that!!!!! for once, it sorta almost feels like time is moving how it should be.. like every day that passes is different, every day that passes is SPECIAL. it hurts me to say this, but i think i love being alive? can you imagine that? how is it possible that two strangers could just.. fall into my life one day and before i even know it, im healing, im happy, im whole. MAKE ME SICKK its so foul. its almost pathetic!!! is that really all ive needed? this whole time, and i couldnt find ONE proper candidate throughout 20 years of life? its hard to really be upset about it, cuz.. ive got them now. thats all that matters

idk, i just. i think its really telling the kind of people they are, i know im only me, but.. for what its worth, theyve improved my life so drastically, i wouldve never thought id see myself happy like this. they do that for me, they do that and so much more. i love you 💞

[watashime-ciel]

explaining the reason why some songs were added to some of my RH playlists because i cant just drop that and not elaborate and i have nothing better to do

i believe the title cannot be clearer than that so. yeah

when i quote a lyrics from the song instead of explaining thats because its a piece of lore im not ready to share because its too personal, too explicit, too sad, or i simply dont want to. this can make you think whats going on with the goofy goobers and make your own headcanons or scenarios. maybe. idk. still, huge TW for lyrics touching mental health generally, su1cide, s/h, EDs and s3xual themes

and ocean o'connor rosenberg

STARTING WITH DJ YELLOW because i always follow the same pattern when i talk of rhythm heaven

RAT A TAT WRITER by FAKE TYPE.: one of his favourite electro swing songs, which he forced Red to make a cover of

Valentino by Olly Alexander: "i should've known not to trust Valentino."

Wanna Be Someone by Telehope: a comfort song for his grey days

Toon Bangers by FAKE TYPE.: his first feminine cosplay was DEMONDICE in Toon Bangers, debuting with Connie and Red in a big convention. they performed that song so it has a special place in his heart

Born This Way by Lady Gaga: guess. just guess. because yellow is the straightest person i know /j

Happy Pills by Weathers: "the voices in my right brain are kinda funny. they tell me, take a deep breath. it's always sunny." piece of lore i'm not ready to share, but maybe dj yellow isn't that happy after all

Help! Oh, Well... by I'm Something Else YT: literally the song explains everything. and yes he needs help /hsrs

Poison by Blake Roman: "what's the worst part of this Hell? I can only blame myself", "wish I had something to live for tomorrow"

Empty by Jaiden Animations and BoyInABand: "but it's so overwhelming and i hope no one can tell, cuz the numbers keep decreasing, this ordeal is becoming routine. check; arms, back, neck, thighs. suck it in and pinch my sides. the scales are betraying me, the mirror is a lie! numbers. it all comes down to numbers. i know it's wrong, but just because you know you're colourblind it doesn't means you can't see the colours. fine! i admit i'm addicted! but the hunger feels good, how do i quit this?! i know i could die, i've seen the statistics! but the voices are with me through thick and thin..."

Noel's Lament from Ride The Cyclone: Yellow is like Noel fr and he quotes "GOD DAMMIT WOULD YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS FOR JUST A SECOND YOU HORRIBLE SUCCUBUS!?" everyday

MEGANE by UltraNoob: ...he's a completely different person when he uses his glasses. way different.

Trapped In A Dream by RudyWade: the amount of times he woke up from a dream INSIDE A DREAM is insane, feeling like alive is not something he is during those moments. and he always feels like hes going to be trapped forever, which he hates because "the feeling of not being alive is not like not being alive, that's terrifying..". quote, "the clock is ticking, time's running out. i need to wake up, i need to shout. i need to find my way back to life. [...] wake me up, set me free from this dreaming misery. i need to feel alive again!"

Lagtrain by 稲葉曇: the whole song is one he finds the most melancholic of all. he usually hears Mako sing it, and he just breaks down to tears because its so magestic yet so sad and entertaining and melodic and-

Girls by MARINA: "look like a girl, but i think like a guy. not lady like to behave like a slime.", "is there any possibility you'll quit gossiping about me to hide your insecurities? all you say is blah, blah. girls, they never befriend me cuz i fall asleep when they speak of all the calories they eat! all they say is nanananana."

Magical Doctor by MARETU: literally the heaviest song he uses to vent emotionally. like- he screams along

I/Me/Myself by Will Wood: "i wish i could be a girl! and, really, i'd prefer it if you used 'i/me/myself'. am i pretty enough? am i pretty enough to fucking die!?"

bonus: cardigan by Taylor Swift. "you drew stars around my scars". this is something Blue voluntarely offered Yellow to do as a way of comfort and help with urges, also adding the rainbow breathing technique

the end. probably as i add more i will add more to this explanation list in a separate post

BLUE🗣️🗣️

Descartable by Tronic: a song he animated fully of him and all his friends (and yellow). it was the first time he got out his comfort zone

Space Age Bachelor Man from Ride The Cyclone: his ocs and Ricky are very much the same in terms of... lore. but not Ricky's lore. i mean the space Jesus lore. if you watched the musical you know what i mean

Tiempo by Darkar Alatriz (Vete A La Versh): this song hits me way too personally, as i always dedicate it to my deceased pet dog. i really cant get into much detail without hearing the lyrics in my head and thinking of her, but i dont want to keep this song out and act like its not there. i can only say Blue also lost something important to him at an age he considers young. but it wasnt a pet, but two people that are important for a young person whos still growing up

At Atelier by FAKE TYPE.: he sticks to the idea of "imagination has no limits" really well like Miss Atelier, always working hard to improve and finding inspiration everywhere

Candy by Paolo Nutini: okay. i cant act like this story didnt happen. at some point, Blue proposes to Yellow, and he obviously accepts. Candy was playing during Yellow's entrance. but this story happens in the future. waaaaay into the future... but

Cendrillon 10th Anniversary by DiosP: this is the song that replaced the classic waltz music. this song was also Blue and Yellow's debut in a cosplay contest as Cendrillon Miku and Cendrillon KAITO, winning on best performance btw

Alguien Como Tú by Jósean Log: this song is in Spanish, but its about a man in love with a woman. the woman either doesnt knows or doesnt feels the same for him, so he sings asking if she knows someone else with certain qualities she has, saying that if he cant be with her he wants to be with someone like her. during the years where Blue wanted to confess to Yellow but he was scared, he felt very much like this

Keep This To Myself by Casper Caan: the calm and melancholic tune of the song plus the chorus makes him think of the times he repressed his own feelings to help Yellow, as he is the one thats in danger almost everytime, not Blue. "Cuz I have a plan you don't know; i'll keep this to myself"

No Llora by El Cuarteto De Nos: i invite you to translate the lyrics to understand better. this is another song that hits me way too personally so i cant drop the lore. but have this in mind: Blue represses his own feelings so much that he can be a bit emotionless from the outside. now its because he wants to focus on Yellow's health first, but back in the day, he used to do it to prove himself he is strong enough to not cry for everything. although he would go back home and cry on Ann Gler's shoulder (Ann Gler took take of him during his childhood). thats all i can say. i cant quote anything because it burns

J.J

although many of those songs are what he plays on the guitar or sings, there are a few that go beyond that

Get Out The Way by Mother Mother: "i'm not antisocial, i'm just tired of the people. and i'm fine while rolling solo, so get out."

I Can't Handle Change by ROAR: "nothing i do is ever good. nothing i do is ever good enough. nothing i do is ever good. [...] leave me alone, leave me alone..." "i can't help but redeem myself, i know it's not your fault. still, lately i begin to shake for no reason at all."

all Megamasso songs: part of his lore, where he played in the Rhythm Heaven equivalent of Megamasso (Leo [Watashime Slug]'s band before WataSlug) as the second guitar

Christmas Kids by ROAR: "you'll change your name and change your mind, and leave this fucked up place behind, but i'll know, i'll know..." "if you ever try to leave me, i'll find you, Ronnie."

Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: "you gotta see the artistry in tearing the place apart with me, baby. i am unruly in the stands. i am a rock on top of the sand. i am a fist amidst the hands, and i break it just because i can. let's break it just because we can! deface it just because we can! let's break it just because!... just because.... just because, just because..."

Do You Think About Me?: surprisingly, his mental health improved the instant he befriended Cecil, and got even better when they started dating. although, at some point, he got to a downfall. he becane a clingy person towards Cecil, always anxious if Cecil is being honest or not. in the end, they are the only shoulder he can cry on. "there's a fairytale in our song, it brought us together, gave us a new start. i was lost, falling apart. you gave me a spot somewhere in your heart... and act of God? a shooting star? you came from afar, with open arms... it was so dark, as cold as November almost over, i told ya..."

Cecil💥

What The World Needs from Ride The Cyclone: Ocean reminds them of their mother. she, in reality, was a very close minded, mean, homophobic and egocentric. if you didn't do something as she wanted, then the world doesn't needs you. thankfully she changed, but she was a pain in the ass. like Ocean. nobody likes Ocean.

the majority of songs that sound childish, are from kids shows, etc etc, stick to their desire of never growing up and enjoy a happy childhood they really didn't have. i don't know if it's age regression, at least in Cecil's case (but it is for another goofy goober i'm not specifying), but they find the most comfort in a childish environment, ambiented with music

Body by Mother Mother: us genderqueer people have been in that existential crisis where we even question ourselves if we even exist. well, it got to Cecil really fast the moment they let their hair grow enough to look at themself in the mirror and scream in confussion. and somedays it got really bad that they just- well- read the lyrics-

Towards The Sun by Rihanna: no their favourite movie is not Home. its more of the melancholic tune that they like. it also helps them release more tears when crying becomes a hard task, and even need help with that

we fell in love in october by girl in red: J.J AND CECIL STARTED DATING IN OCTOBER. I REPEAT, J.J AND CECIL STARTED DA-

i wanna be your girlfriend: the day before Cecil confessed felt like that for them

Empty by Jaiden Animations and BoyInABand: they struggle to eat. simple as that. maybe it's the colour, the shape, the smell, the taste... they just struggle and need time to finish a few bites. they're in their way tho, trying new foods everyday with J.J's help. the song is not directly on their playlist, it's just like a character soundtrack, as much of the lyrics can be connected to Cez

Last Effect by last note.: berore playing the guitar, they played the violin, and this song is one they played last before switching completely to the guitar. coincidently, both violin and guitar are essential on that song

with this we conclude the goofy goobers songs that have a reason to be in the playlists i made. yes i know their stories are sad. no i dont regret anything. yes much of those headcanons were made for my own comfort. no i dont give a shit whatchu think🫂

im cold guys its like 7° outside thats too cold

anyways GOOD NEWS i got a job (yippee) so i will finally get money to buy that one compilation visual kei album with watashime slug's kyo x batsu japanese version omfg im- guys. guys its a dream come true

bye guys drink wotah plz dont get dehidrated

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

I know you talked about Sandy and Debbie before; but I avoided it because I didn't want to be spoiled too much; but I finally got to that and!! I don't really like Sandy?? I have abandonment issues too so I totally get Debbie and am on her side so maybe I'm biased but like Sandy's lack of communication really frustrated me + then her response to Debbie's emotions and insecurities being "you're a psycho" also frustrated me and overall I feel like Debbie deserves someone better than Sandy; fuck what Frank said

but I know you like Sandy and Debbie together so do you mind explaining why? maybe im missing something; and if youve talked about this before, you can just link me to that!

wow i love this ask so much

so i like them together, but once 11x05-11x08 hit i don’t really. i’m surprised i havent talked about this more, and if anyone wants me to i will, but sebbie and gallavich have so many parallels so i think that a part of why i liked them was because they’re very similar to gallavich.

^ and much like gallavich, they SERIOUSLY struggle with miscommunication. this is what ruins them, and this is what nearly ruined gallavich. one thing about them is that the way they were raised fucks with a lot of it. i think this applies to every single relationship every gallagher has been in (especially gallagher x milkovich ships, like gallavich and whatever lip x mandy was called) struggles with miscommunication because the way milkoviches are vs how gallagher’s are is very different. debbie was raised by frank, monica, and fiona. her perspective on what love was was seriously warped because she saw frank and monica’s love which was… well, you know, and then fiona and her many boyfriends who treated her like shit. on top of this, she has serious abandonment issues and is still yet to learn how to cope with them. in sandy’s case, we don’t know much about her childhood other than the fact that she was basically raised as mickey’s sister and got into a serious relationship with an adult at fifteen, so i don’t think it’s too absurd to assume that she didn’t have a great childhood.

sandy is more comfortable with leaving and has a hard time expressing her emotions. debbie doesn’t want anyone to leave her, ever, and can express her emotions but probably not in the most “healthy” way.

i think that i’m biased too because i also have abandonment issues so i get it. but idk.

they had potential, for sure, i think that the mere possibility that debbie could have a girlfriend who validated her emotions and stayed with her was great but unfortunately, it didn’t work out. that devestates me because i’ve talked about this many times, but i’ll say it again, debbie’s trapped in this endless cycle of attaching herself then being left, over and over again. it is literally her entire storyline.

i think that debbie’s feelings about not knowing a lot about sandy’s life were valid, i don’t know if i’d fully defend tracking her but hey, gallagher’s have done much worse- i don’t really blame her for wanting to know if her girlfriend was cheating on her or living a double life or what (*cough* jimmy-steve *cough*). but also, if i were sandy, i would be pretty pissed about that! regardless, why didn’t she tell debbie (her girlfriend of like, nine months at that point) where she worked or where she lived? i get that she was embarrassed but that’s your girlfriend, man. invalidating her feelings on that and calling her a pyscho wasn’t cool, but again, i’m biased and if i were her i wouldn’t be very happy. we have to remember the severity of debbie’s abandonment/attachment issues and how she thinks that’s okay and normal. she reached this point of feeling dependent on sandy and it makes sense that she freaked out the way she did.

but god, i hated 11x07. i mean, i loved it, but i hated it. i think it was a really realistic depiction of abandonment issues, and it was amazing for it’s awknolegment of debbie’s trauma (i wish we got more of that and i wish that people fucking listened to that part). overall, that was a very debbie-centric episode so i loved that, but god, the fight they had.

i have more to say but idk how to say it here, but i really liked sebbie in the sense that i thought they had potential, more potential than anyone else debbie had been with, but their ending was bullshit and i really don’t like the things that went down.

[skybristle]

im just gonna dump a ton of starlight thoughts i had from my dms with mac moonsofmachinery because ast is Really fucking hard for me to write and. Idk. What do you think? my brains kinda mush rn but.... shakes her around... a lot of this is disorganized sorry it was very train of thought when i was writing it. @arsonstick come get your thangggg. i cut out what mac said where it wasn't relevant but some of it was important for flow of conversation

I think its very like. Interesting??? How ast went from being so hardworking towards the problem and nobody bothered her [partially because of adversion after maw, partially because of the group being generally a disorganized clusterfuck] but she was basically the only bh iterator who like

Actually. Did their job.Besides sparks but sparks is doing it for fucked up reasons

So im like. Very intrigued by whatever sent it spiraling and its motivations and feelings through it

Especially being rather asocial

If i hadddddd to guess [idk why im talking like this with my own characters it makes sense in my rambling work with me here mac] it Probably has something to do with the triple affirmative and iterator soceity basically descending into chaos

and factions

probably aligned with some fucked up form of sliverism for a time in regards to seeking personal ascension??? Maybe the only way she saw would be to take the old path. A blend of her very traditional and devoted beliefs and all of this new stuff it was introduced to via aurora

And that begins to stir in asts mind and makes a very. Very deadly combination

i think it would be fun too if like the culture of her city really rejected the streamlining of ascension and void fluid these days. Probably believed you had to actually make the pilgrimmage- otherwise you're not REALLY going to the void sea are you?

So maybe i won't move the rift. It would be really cool if there was all of these religious tunnels and stuff baked into the walls of it as you descend down, down, down. Like two pathways of religious ruins damaged by rain in a v shape sort of region if it was in the game

i think the sliver fiasco would have really enlightened her to like. The futility of it all and what she was doing. Inherently seeking a solution kind of went against the very traditional and grounded principles of her ancients- and she DID genuinely believe in her ancients. in some fucked up twisted way by breaking taboo and doing what ast does to whispers and etc etc etc it believes its following what they would have wanted. What silk truly would have wanted for their daughter

Because i think starlight at least in the beginning was seeking the solution, well, for her parents. And believed in their cause of freeing the world after they left. But after sliver left them with no answers whats the fucking point? Which i feel like is the mindset of a LOT of iterators. But. You know. She has weird and strange diseases

Got to imagine talking to basically no-one and being left in asts own echo chamber was. Uhm. Not good for it being sane and normal about it. Like yeah a lot of unstable iterators were effected badly and are also isolated but you know most of them like. Chat to people regularly and have friends and shit. starlight DIDN'T

which is why despite her apathy she gets SO ATTACHED to people who indulge her. Its why she answers to maws beck and call. Especially when maw frames herself as a 'higher power' and starlight is still kind of in a way scrambling after its beliefs in ascension were so shaken

I genuinely like. Believe that starlight did that to whispers with the intention of freeing them. She knew better. They were scared and didn't know themself and were trapped in a body that didn't let them live. Ast had to free them. Ast had to

Maybe the price to pay is some proding, some experimentation, some data points for next time

To it its completely fucking reasonable!! which just goes to show how FUCKED she's gotten

MAC: "honestly the fact starlight thinks ast is doing the right thing 'freeing' whispers makes it so much worse to me than if. it'd just been out of pure maw-like malice

ITS SO FUCKED UP..."

YEAH. AND I THINK ITS EXTRA FUCKED BECAUSE MAW IS MALICIOUS. SHE WANTS TO HURT PEOPLE AND HAS STARLIGHT WRAPPED ALL AROUND HER FUCKING FINGER

MAC: "Dude starlight could've been a fine person given different circumstances, she's not. actively malicious. but god do her actions tend to end in the worst things possi.... ohhhhhh heyyyy wait, sounds like THE ENTIRE PLOT OF BENDING HORIZONS!!!!"

I think starlight seeking aurora originally is like... so interesting too. Ast probably heard MANY of her citizens bitch and whine about albedo but you know. When the gears start turning and she starts diverging. Maybe. Maybe aurora knows something. Maybe aurora can put this all to bed- can make her feel normal and go back to work and be fine and content again. But aurora just opens the fucking floodgates and basically gives it all the sliverist and taboo chats and etc

TO him its like. He doessnt see consequences but also not much direct responsibility in things because 'well anyone can find anything eventually' which. Uhm. Aurora honey starlight would NOT have gone on global had you not gone 'welllll I don't know but all of these people seem to be talking about it :3"

i think starlight genuinely saw aurora as someone with such interesting and open perspective and ast was SO goddamn desprate to be affirmed. and. i mean. Aurora blew it off but Boy Did It Get Affirmed