#idk if i'll post this to ao3
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Culture Shock (3 times Italy shocks Will Graham, +1 he shocks Italy)
1. While Will has been to Florence in the past, his time there was brief and...rather traumatic. Between being thrown off of a train, shot, drugged, and kidnapped, he didn't remember the small details of Italian bathrooms. Anyways, that was years ago at this point. He is just excited to be in a beautiful country and able to enjoy it this time. After arriving at the apartment Hannibal had rented under a false name, Will is in desperate need to freshen up in the bathroom. Upon opening the door, he is greeted with what one would usually expect to find in a bathroom. A shower, sink, toilet, and ... a second, smaller toilet?
"Hannibal," Will calls out into the hallway. "Yes, Will?" Hannibal replies, now standing in the doorway. "What's that?" he asks, pointing to the strange porcelain bowl. "Have you never seen a bidet before?" "That's not a bidet," Will argues. "Bidets are those hose things attached to toilets, right?" "You are thinking of Japanese style bidets, much more common in America. I have always personally preferred the European style." "But what is it for?" Will says while looking sceptically at the bidet. "Washing genitals, feet, even small infants on occasion. I had one installed in my master bathroom, though I doubt you remember." Will comes to love the bidet, and wonders how he ever lived life without it.
2. Italian grocery stores are nothing like the ones in America. Freshly baked bread, meats and cheese prepared right in front of you. Fresh fruit. Will loves it. He and Hannibal are in line for the cheese counter, looking to pick up something for dinner. Will is abandoned, however, as Hannibal has sniffed out a fresh batch of ciabatta being put out. "Ottanta?" the man behind the counter yells. Will looks at the paper ticket in his hand. 80. Must be me, shit. Will tries to conjure up the merger Italian he knows to order the cheese Hannibal wants. "Uh, si. Posso...posso pecorina, per fevore." The man laughs. "Americano?" he scoffs. Will doesn't have time to respond before the man starts fiddling with a machine which grates the cheese. Will is so confused by the interaction that he doesn't even register how much it costs, he simply pays and walks away in search of Hannibal. Once back at home, Hannibal thanks Will for getting the cheese. "I apologise for leaving you, but I see you were able to fend for yourself." "It's no problem. I think it's best that you weren't there. When I ordered the guy laughed at me for being American. Can you believe it?" "What did you say when you ordered?" "I just asked for the pecorina, I guess my accent gave it away but— what is so funny?!" Will pauses his story because Hannibal, a man who never lets out more that a light hearted chortle, is laughing so hard that he is snorting. Once his laughter dies down, he asks, "This is very important, Will. Did you actually say 'pecorina'?" "Yes..?" "I suggest you find out what that means, darling." Will curses and vows to never step foot in that grocery store again.
3. "Geez, it's like a ghost town out there," Will exclaims. He has just come back from an early afternoon walk in order to digest his lunch. Whenever he goes on walks in the morning or evening, the streets are packed, shops are open, and the roads are busy. But today, he decided to set the most of the sun and take his walk just after one. And everything was empty. Windows were shuttered, and the only people Will saw were those on their balconies having a cigarette. Hannibal looks at him confused. "What did you expect? It isn't even two yet." "What do you mean? The sun's shining, why isn't everyone outside?" "I believe that your upbringing in the South has skewed your perception of heat," Hannibal remarks. "This time of day is far too hot to do anything productive, so many stay inside and have a short nap. You haven't noticed?" "No, I guess not." Over the course of the next few days, Will tries to get into the habit of napping in the afternoon, but as soon as he starts to relax, he gets the feeling that he's being unproductive. He should be up and about, not lying in bed when the sun's still up. Even Hannibal, whom Will has never even seen yawn, is fast asleep by three in the afternoon. "Couldn't sleep?" Hannibal asks as he emerges from the bedroom, his hair adorably mussed up. "No. It just doesn't feel right. Plus, I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I did go for a nap, so I think it's for the best." It isn't until a few nights later, when Will is too tired to sleep with Hannibal, that he decides a nap in the day is worth being more awake at night.
+1. The waitress had just placed a pot of parmesan on the table. Hannibal orders another glass of wine while Will immediately sprinkles some cheese on his clam linguine. The waitress and Hannibal pause their conversation and both stare directly at Will. "Oh, uhm, nothing for me, thanks." The waitress then glances at Hannibal, who mutters something in Italian that Will doesn't understand, but he hears the word Americano thrown in. The waitress nods knowingly then walks away. "What was that about?" Will asks. "Will, my beloved, you have just ruined a perfectly good plate of pasta." "Because I don't want wine with it?" "No, because," Hannibal leans in to whisper, "because you added cheese to it." His eyes dart around. "If you eat fast enough, perhaps no one will notices." "No." "No?" "No, Hannibal. I am tired of pretending that being an outsider is bad thing. I am going to out parmesan on my pasta and enjoy it." Will ignores the dirty looks and scoffs. He doesn't care. At least he didn't ask for a cappuccino with dinner.
#fanfic#3 + 1 fic#im lazy and couldn't think of 5 things#hannigram#crack fic#you guys i love bidets so much the uk not having bidets has made my life worse#biden and biden only have 1 letter difference so...#hannibal is such a food snob he would totally throw a fit over will putting cheese on a fish pasta#who would win: hannibal or pizza hut's mac'n'cheese pizza?#inspired by americans visiting “europe” and being shocked that a different country does things differently#idk if i'll post this to ao3
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dick Grayson V Gotham
Chapter 1 - AO3 - Constantine Jr. AU
There were a few minutes every morning, in the dark before dawn when his alarm hadn’t yet rung, where Dick Grayson felt most at peace. Despite the ache in his body the night out as Nightwing, he felt refreshed and content to just rest his eyes until his phone rang and it was time to get ready for the day.
Unfortunately, peace was never meant to last.
With a loud crash that definitely woke the neighbors, a little body kicked his door in. A switch was flipped and blinding light filled the room. Dick squinted in the general direction of the intruder. “Get up already!” Danny, his ward, snapped, rushing forward to rip the blankets off his bed. Dick let him. “There’s a case ready for us at the precinct!”
Dick checked his phone. No missed calls, and Danny didn’t have a phone yet. “Is this another psychic thing?” he asked.
Danny rolled his eyes. “If I say yes, will you get your ass out of bed already?”
“Language,” he chided absentmindedly, but still got out of bed. Danny glared up at him, still not satisfied, and dragged him to the bathroom with a surprising amount of strength for an 8-year-old. “Huh! You’re really in a hurry today.”
“No, you’re just super slow!”
Dick pulled back against Danny, slowing their progress considerably. “Oh, it’s the age!” Dick bemoaned, draping himself dramatically against the wall. “Now that I have a kid of my own to look after, the years have started to take their toll—Ow!”
Danny glared up at him like he hadn’t just kicked Dick in the shin. Brat. “Be dramatic in your own time! We have a case, Dick, we need to go!”
“Alright, alright, I’m going!” Dick complied and got in the bathroom, saying just before he closed the door, “Make sure you’re dressed in clothes you can afford to lose! I don’t want you to get blood on your favorite jeans again!” Danny shouted back his agreement and finally, Dick was alone.
As Dick washed his face and did his business, he contemplated how he got there. Honestly, he didn’t get what Bruce was always complaining about; this guardianship thing was going great! It was three weeks since he’d wrangled Danny home, but he’d been preparing for this for months, ever since he learned that the little brat trying to solve murders was homeless. It took months of classes, meetings with CPS, and interviews with friends and family, but Dick was now the proud foster parent of Danny Smith!
Fortunately, Dick had managed to convince Bruce that the foster license was precautionary, like if he needed to protect a minor. Which was what he was doing! So not technically a lie!
Although, Bruce had his hands full already. Some new crime lord had taken up the Joker’s old alias and it was driving the old man up the wall. Bruce had even asked Dick for help on the case last night! He’d said no, of course; he wasn’t just going to abandon Danny in Bludhaven for days while they hunted down Red Hood, and he wasn’t going to spring Danny on Bruce, nor Bruce on Danny. Danny was a flight risk and had expressed disdain for millionaires in the past, and Bruce was… worse than he used to be. Tim had managed to resurrect some of the dad Bruce used to be, but ever since Jason…
Well, it was good that they wouldn’t be seeing each other any time soon. Maybe by then Tim will have convinced Bruce to go to therapy!
Coming out of the bathroom, Dick started at Danny, dressed in jeans and a Digimon t-shirt, standing on the counter and getting Dick’s lunch bag off the shelf. He cocked an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”
“Packing breakfast to-go!” Danny said, jumping off the counter. Dick’s heart skipped a beat and he lunged forward, but Danny landed before Dick could reach him. He glared at Dick. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” He straightened up, playing it cool. He observed what Danny had laid out for breakfast as he started the coffee machine. A banana, two yogurts, and a handful of granola just poured out onto the table. “You know, you absorb more nutrients when you sit down and actually enjoy your food. And we don’t need lunch to-go. Remember, we talked about this? We have to wait for someone to report the crime first.”
“How do you know no one hasn’t yet?” Danny challenged.
“Have they?”
“...No. We could report the crime though,” Danny grumbled, but opened a yogurt cup.
They really couldn’t. If they reported the crime, they’d still have to wait for other officers and CSI before investigating, and that’s even if they were given the case! But more importantly… Dick was the only officer in the department who believed Danny could see ghosts.
Sure, Commissioner Gonzalez believed Danny, but that was just one woman. As much as he appreciated the Commissioner’s work helping get Danny off the streets and processing the paperwork to ensure the boy got recognition as an official BPD consultant… well, Dick knew she had ties to the gangs in town, he just couldn’t prove it. Just because she liked him and Danny doesn’t make her good.
The fact that she promoted him to detective was evidence enough. Dick was an amazing detective—like everyone trained by Batman—but normally you’d need a certain number of years and successful cases for that level of promotion, both of which Dick didn’t have. Hell, he’d only been working as a cop for two years! But Danny was only willing to work with Dick… so Dick became the youngest detective in the city.
The coffee machine sang a little robotic song and Dick placed a Nightwing mug under the spout just in time to catch the stream. As Danny finished his breakfast, Dick shooed him off to go brush his teeth and turned on the TV. He still had thirty minutes before they had to leave for work—
“—taking after his father!” Jack Rider’s voice rang through the apartment. Dick frowned; why was this trash on? “Although I have to say, I don’t think anyone ever expected Richard Grayson to adopt a child of his own!”
Dick froze. What? No, he’d worked so hard to ensure that no one would find out—
A picture flashed on screen of Dick and Danny. Dick recognized it immediately; he’d taken Danny out to eat to celebrate Danny officially becoming his foster child. But that was weeks ago! They’d been sitting on the story for that long?
They didn’t even bother to blur Danny’s face.
“Now, Jack,” the co-host chided, “Let’s not get too hasty. Our source at Bludhaven PD—who will be unnamed to protect their privacy—said it was only a foster, not an adoption.”
Jack waved her concern away. “Yes, a foster. For now. Don’t you remember how long Richard was Brucie’s ward? Sure, the kid might only be a foster for now, but with this family, adoption is always on the table!”
Turning away from the TV, Dick checked their security cameras on his phone. When he’d first moved in, Babs had hacked into all the cameras in the apartment, piggy-backing off their feeds. There, outside the building’s main entrance, were multiple reporters. Some had even gotten into the building, although their aimless wandering told him that their apartment number hadn’t been leaked yet.
“Still, another street kid in the family,” Jack continued to muse. “That’s two now for the Waynes, right? Are they going to take off with an entire orphanage next?”
“Dick?”
He locked eyes with Danny, who gave the TV a worried look. But Danny didn’t get worried; he was a cocky, grumpy brat who’d given Dick a heart attack when he dared a gang member to shoot him in the face. But a news story scared him?
Smart kid. Dick was feeling scared too. So, he made the executive decision.
Dick knelt down to Danny’s height, gently grasping his shoulders. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to call out of work—”
“But Mrs. Bennett’s murder!” came the immediate protest.
Dick took note of the name, but held up a hand to stop him. “I know, I know. But it’s not safe for us to go to the precinct right now.” Someone at BPD had told the reporters about them. One of his colleagues, pissed that he’d gotten his promotion unfairly? Someone who hated that a little kid solved murders better than them? Or anyone looking to make a quick buck? The possibilities were endless.
He continued, “Commissioner Gonzalez will understand and help us consult with the case from online, okay? We’ll get sent pictures of the crime scene and you can talk to Mrs. Bennett and we’ll consult from Gotham just to be safe.” He had some PTO he could use, right? If not… Gonzalez could just fire him. He’d already known his co-workers were corrupt assholes, but to willingly put a child in danger was a step too far. If Gonzalez wanted to keep Dick—and therefore, Danny—she’d better clean house.
Danny made a face. “Why Gotham?”
“That’s where my family lives! While we wait for the story to die down, I’ll introduce you to my grandfather, Alfred, and my brother Tim, and my friend, Barbra! I’ll show you around to all the fun spots, it’ll be fun! So go get packed, buddy.”
Hesitating in the doorway, Danny said, “They won’t listen to me. The other officers aren’t like you.”
“They will listen to you. I’ll make them,” Dick promised. He’d gathered enough blackmail on his fellow detectives to force the issue, if needs be. He ruffled Danny’s hair. “Don’t worry, Danny. It’ll just be for a week or two and then everything will be back to normal. I promise.”
Danny glared at him, batting his hand away. “I’ll keep you to that promise, old man.”
As Danny retreated to his room—Dick’s former workout room—to pack, Dick went to his own, closing and locking the door behind him. The call to Gonzalez went about as well as he was expecting: first her anger at him taking time off, then his anger about being sold out to the media, then Gonzalez swearing as she found the news online, until finally agreement.
As they talked, Dick methodically packed away his Nightwing gear. After last night, where a slime meta had unceremoniously caked his suit in gunk that would not come out, he had two functioning suits: his back-up and his original that he kept for sentimental value. He packed all three, along with his gear. Maybe Alfred would be able to get the gunk out? But he couldn’t leave his things here. Their location was already compromised. If reporters decided the risk was worth it, they could break into his apartment and turn the whole place upside down looking for a story.
So, Dick had to take the story with him.
With all his gear packed, there was little room for personal belongings, so he did the best he could and only took the important things. His room at the manor still had a few changes of clothes. Fortunately Danny wasn’t a nosy kid, otherwise he’d never be able to get away with carrying his Nightwing gear in a normal duffel bag like this.
Now, the hard part.
The phone rang three times before it was picked up. “Master Richard.” Alfred’s icy tone made him wince. Oh, he already knew. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Hey, Alfie…” Dick rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to say that I decided I can help Bruce on that Red Hood case after all?”
“I see.” No matter how angry Alfred was, he was frighteningly polite. “And shall I prepare a second bedroom for your ward?”
Dick winced. “That would be great, Alfred. Thank you.”
“Then I will see you soon. And please inform the young master that I look forward to meeting him when you both arrive.”
“I’ll tell him. He’s been looking forward to meeting you; I’ve been talking up your cooking for months now.”
“Months?” Oh no. “How kind of you, Master Grayson.” It got worse. Alfred was pissed now. Why did he have to say months? It wasn’t like Dick had intentionally hidden Danny from his family; he was just hiding him from Bruce! He wanted some privacy and to figure things out himself! But now Alfie was mad and suddenly that privacy didn’t seem so important anymore. “Shall I assume you’ll be arriving soon then?”
“In around an hour.” Leaving his room, he checked on Danny. He was trying to back everything he owned into the suitcase Dick had bought him. “Maybe a little longer? I’ll call when we’re ten minutes away.”
“Then I will see you soon, Master Grayson.”
@starlightcat04 @maeashryver @widderwise @darkstarsapocalypse @sisma @luminanightfall @storm-fire98 @amyheart19 @collectingthegoods @redhoneysugarorange @lordfirecat2004 @screechingnoises @meira-3919 @dannyphannypack @satisfactionbroughtmeback @rowanaway-fromthisbs @i-always-say-yea @avelnfear @some-rotten-nest @ark12 @heirxofxtime @akikkobara @blep-23 @skulld3mort-1fan @markus209 @stargirl1331 @onlyhereforthechaos @inth3world @awkwardmaiden @fantasticbluebirdfan @currant-owo @alice-hazelwood @screamingtofillthevoid @crystalqueertea @gaelicholiday @gmkelz11 @mattybook1987-blog @bytheoldwillowtree @apointlessbox @chemical-pepis @ghostface3100 @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @bathildaburp @boo-ghosties @bubblemixer @halfalix @lyra689 @dragon-dancer16 @lunadoll36 @mimilikey @hellomygay @frogs-are-pretty-awesom @overtherose @cyrwrites @your-emo-nightmare @lexdamo @roman4517 @a-slytherinish-gryffindor @raginblastocyst @thegatorsgoose @fisticuffsatapplebees @olivethetreebitch @vixen-uchiha @ae-vixrose @joseph557 @kisatamao @gin2212 @thewondersoflebanon @d4ydr34min9 @malice-of-the-sunrise @tiblii @that-awkward-fae-nerd @aph-mable @dolfay @ghostreblogging @wackyattack @writer-extraordinaire @boo-ghosties @coruscateselene @emergentpanda-blog
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#de aged danny#constantine jr au#c: danny fenton#c: dick grayson#this took FOREVER#I could not figure out where to start#because the very beginning felt wrong to me?#but i figured out why#because that part i cared about was the drama#the stuff before now is just backstory#backstory i will go into through talking and flashbacks and memories but still backstory#idk if i'll continue posting on tumblr but the ao3 link is right there so...
523 notes
·
View notes
Text
glitter, spice, everyone fight
Pairings: Adora/Catra (Catradora). Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018). Series: Outside of the War. For: SPOP 5th Anniversary Big Bang (@spopbigbang)
Rating: G. Chapters: 1/3. Words: ~10k.
Summary: The Horde has a surprising amount of glitter. It’s considered a necessary asset in training young cadets against the dangers of fighting princess magic. As a kid, Catra discovers it is only momentarily beautiful. The training is harder on Catra than it is on anyone else, and she takes the blame for faults that she can't control. She doesn't think she can ever find it pretty again, but like a lot of things, she eventually finds a world beyond the Fright Zone where she can be proven wrong. (Or, why Catra knows what glitter tastes like)
Note: This fic is archive-locked, which means you will have to be logged into an AO3 account to read and view it.
#engaging in my innovative strategy of post then edit in ao3 once again but it's done now#i THINK this is G but I may re-assess and mark it T later because i'll be honest: i dont remember what i wrote#in that idk if there's swearing and stuff in it later on etc#catradora#catra#adora#she ra#spop#writing tag#spop big bang#ao3 embeds are just permabroken i'm having to go back to my old formatting lol
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
You're the only person i follow who posts about thomas sanders
And i only watch him for sanders sides, i'm not really in the fsndom online, so i guess you are the best person to ask this
Why does thomas take so long to upload new sander sides?
ten questions scientists still can't answer, anon
#to expand beyond the cynicism#idk when you joined the fandom but i was there in like The Era. 2017. virgil's name reveal. i was 14 & Unwell#wrote a lot of fic (and i mean a Lot of fic) & was in the Wattpad Scene of it all#(not to do all the fandom hierarchy popularity bullshit but if anyone's wondering why i have 1500 followers on wattpad that's why)#anyways. 5 or so years go by. fans get older. content (or at least good canon content) is few & far between#i move on. move to ao3. move to tumblr & other fandoms#idk how i found the crit tag but it's a good place as an 'ex-fander' so to speak to vent frustrations#you'll find a lot of stuff in the tag on your question anon#basically my take is thomas wants all the money from the series & merch & patreon without actually putting in the work#as he's lost passion for the series but has hyped it up way way too long to back out now#idk he's kind of a shit person from what i've seen though again there's more elequent posts on it than this tag dump#i'll leave the appropriate tags below#ts crit#ts critical#ts criticism#asks
75 notes
·
View notes
Text

tiny, minuscule, little thing i'm working on.
#klance#i just need like 27% more to finish it#i was thinking of posting it to tumblr#but it's 9k currently so i think i'll post it on ao3 instead?#idk#i'm not gonna edit it or anything so it's basically a rough draft#and i usually put those on tumblr#excerpts
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
bftc jaytim fuck nasty in their batman suits🩷
CORRECT THEY DO. it's like you live in my brain, anon. and for that, you get a full fic bc i've wanted to write this anyway and you gave me an excuse to. have 6k words worth of dirtybadwrong JayTim. rough sex, blood play, pain play, degradation, consensual but not safe or sane, dead dove vibes so be warned. but also enjoy bc ily for this thought anon 🩷
“You look ridiculous in that get-up. Like a kid out for trick-or-treats.” The words were just as brutal as the fight was. Jason had the bodyweight and training to easily pin Tim, now that he was done toying around.
Of course, toying around for Jason Todd looked like bloody slashes across Tim’s back, base of his skull, and his forehead. Picking one of Bruce’s older suits may have been a bad idea on Tim’s part. The armor was thinner and easier for Jason to slash through with a batarang in a clenched fist.
Tim had managed to knock the batarang out of Jason’s hand, but that also seemed like a bad idea now, with Jason on top of Tim. His fists were even more brutal, blunt weapons and he’d reinforced the gloves to make his punches hit harder across Tim’s face.
There was blood pouring from Tim’s nose and mouth. With all the pain flaring across his body, it was hard for him to get a good read on if anything was broken or not.
All he knew was it hurt. His head spun from slamming against the concrete. It was hard for Tim to blink his eyes into focus. And when he did, he wished he hadn’t. Jason was leaning in so close, his mask was all Tim could see. Tim dizzily wondered how the glowing eyes didn’t impede Jason’s vision.
“Look at me,” Jason demanded. His voice was robotic behind the thick metal mouthpiece. One of his fists pulled back for another punch. “Do you see terror? Do you see fear? Or is it just your own reflection?”
By some miracle, Tim managed to catch the punch before it connected with his face. The muscles in his wrist and forearm screamed at the animalistic strength Jason pushed back with, inching his fist closer and closer to connecting. If it did manage to connect, Tim knew his own hand in the way wouldn’t do much to soften the blow. If anything, Jason would shatter Tim’s knuckles against his own nose.
Not a pretty thought.
“That mad I said no to being your Robin?” Tim wheezed. It was hard to get air in his lungs, with Jason perched on his chest, putting all his weight on Tim’s midsection.
Jason scoffed with cruel amusement. “You’re a second choice, Drake. It doesn’t matter to me if you say no, I can always ask the original. He’d at least put up a better fight than you’re managing.”
Tim couldn’t argue that. He thought he’d have some kind of chance in a fight against Jason, but it was a losing game to confront Jason on his turf, in a suit Tim wasn’t comfortable in. He was too stupid to even bring his bo staff.
A great Batman he was turning out to be.
With bloody teeth, Tim smiled. “You’re right. Is that why I’m your reflection, Jason? Two second rate Robins who will never be the original?” He managed a laugh against protesting ribs. “For what it’s worth, I still think I’m better than you. Least I didn’t die.”
He couldn’t see the look on Jason’s face, but he didn’t need to. The feral yell that came out of Jason spoke for itself at how well Tim got under his skin. Jason’s other fist came barreling toward Tim’s face, but he managed to move his head out of the way, making it only connect with the ground. Jason’s punch was hard enough to make the concrete crack.
Even with the reinforced gloves, that had to hurt. Maybe a couple cracked bones, if Tim was lucky. Jason couldn’t hit as hard if he injured himself.
That was a solid plan. If he’d actually planned it in the first place.
“Can’t believe I ever liked you, Drake,” Jason snarled, pulling his hand free from the concrete. He flexed his fingers just a bit too slow. He definitely hurt himself, even if he was trying to hide it. Jason went for his utility belt, grabbing another batarang.
“Flattering,” Tim deadpanned. He tried to elbow Jason in the neck, but Jason easily twisted away from the blow.
“I really did you know,” Jason said. Maybe it was the mask, but Tim could’ve sworn Jason’s tone changed slightly. “If Bruce hadn’t corrupted you, you really could’ve been something.”
Tim ignored the comment about Bruce. Bruce’s death was too raw for Tim to be able to look at his grief about it head-on. “Can’t say the feeling was mutual,” Tim grunted. He tried to slash his glove fins across Jason’s face. But Jason was smarter. He had a more durable suit that made the blow easily glance off.
Damn Tim for picking this suit. He idealized Bruce’s image too much and forwent practicality. He was paying for it now. A new suit would’ve had proper weapons worked into the wrists for Tim to easily flick out.
“I don’t know about that,” Jason mocked with a cold laugh. “Remind me again Drake, who broke me out of prison?”
He had a point.
“Real great job you’ve done repaying that kindness,” Tim muttered. He avoided addressing it directly. He didn’t owe Jason his reasons. Especially not with how they’d all blown up in his face.
“I never needed your kindness,” Jason growled. He wrapped a hand around Tim’s throat and pressed down just enough to make it uncomfortable for Tim to breathe. “That’s what all you Bats could never get through your skulls. I didn’t need to be Bruce’s pity project, and I definitely didn’t need to be yours.”
“Trust me,” Tim fought to get the words out, trying to worm his fingers under Jason’s grip. “You don’t have my pity.”
“What do I have, then?”
“My contempt.” The more Tim struggled, the tighter Jason’s grip got. The sharp points of his claws were starting to dig into Tim’s skin and draw blood. Blood flow was cut off from Tim’s brain and he fought to keep hold of his consciousness.
“Liar,” Jason hissed. “No one else is here, Tim. You don’t have to pretend and hide things from me I already know.”
Maybe passing out would be a good thing. Then, Tim would have a convenient reason for not answering Jason. A reason to not face the truth Jason wanted him to bare.
Tim knew that Jason probably knew. The way they’d looked at each other through the prison safety glass when Jason was locked up had a thousand unspoken words in just a shared smile. A promise, that maybe, if Jason cleaned himself up with this second chance, there could be something between them.
But Jason didn’t clean up. He flung himself in the opposite direction, if anything. A growing body count and an ugly reign of terror that was Tim’s job to stop.
He started this. He put misplaced faith in Jason. Tim’s bad judgment jeopardized Gotham.
And now Jason wanted the unspoken part said out loud. Something a part of Tim would rather die than admit after all this. They both already knew. Making Tim say it was just an obvious attempt to humiliate him and Tim refused to sink to Jason’s level.
All this over a stupid crush.
“Fine,” Jason continued when Tim didn’t say anything. “I’ll say it for you. You loved me.”
Tim made a face and twisted, finally forcing Jason’s hand free from his neck with a hard strike to his inner elbow. “It wasn’t love,” he insisted through grit teeth.
“What was it then?”
Tim didn’t say a word. He wasn’t going to give in to Jason’s cruelty.
“Tell you what,” Jason’s voice dropped low and almost sultry. “If you say it out loud, I’ll give you a free pass. No one will know.”
“A free pass?”
There was no way Jason was implying what Tim thought he was.
“Right here, right now.” Jason nodded. “Can’t say I’ll make it sweet, but something tells me you’re not the vanilla type anyway.”
Shit. He was implying that. Tim’s breath caught in his throat.
The answer should’ve been obvious.
The answer was obvious. Tim was laying in a growing pool of his own blood because of Jason. Countless people were dead because of Jason. Bruce’s legacy was being destroyed because of Jason. Whatever little crush Tim had once had was long gone and replaced with disgust and hatred.
Most of it was.
But some small piece of Tim clung to the way Jason grinned at him. And that small piece of him seemed to be steering the rest of him, making him hesitate on what should’ve been an easy answer. An easy chance to catch Jason off guard and get the upper hand in the fight.
Tim hoped the cowl hid enough of his face that his expression wasn’t readable.
“Over my dead body,” Tim forced the words out, pulling himself back into reality. Praying Jason wouldn’t read into the pause.
Jason’s body shifted. He was quiet for a moment, then he shrugged and brought the batarang clenched in his fist to Tim’s neck, easily finding the jugular. “So be it. I agree anyway. Killing you is the best way to cut this goddamn feeling out of me.”
“What feeling?” Tim frowned, fingers twitching as he stalled, trying to think of a real plan.
“No, no.” Jason shook his head and laughed. It was a hollow sound, this time. “You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. If you won’t say it, then I won’t either.”
Oh.
“You…” Tim sucked in a breath. He was on death’s edge, a blade to his neck, but somehow it was the furthest thing from his spinning mind. “You like me? Like that?” He said it like a stupid high schooler, too shy to even look their crush in the eye.
“What difference does it make now?” Jason shifted his weight on Tim, bearing down more. “This was always how it was going to end, between us.”
“It makes all the difference,” Tim said. He didn’t know why it did. But he knew it did. Tim reached a hand up, but instead of going for Jason’s batarang, he went further. His fingers reached under his own cowl and tugged it off, baring his face to Jason.
Vulnerability. A metaphorical white flag, surrendering to Jason.
Tim was dangerously close to getting himself killed. He could feel it, in his beating heart and overflowing adrenaline.
“I would’ve come at this from a different angle if I knew…” Tim started, before trailing off. They were still dancing around saying it directly.
Jason barked out another laugh. “Oh, would you? What, you would’ve come to talk instead of fight? You really think that would’ve worked?”
“Maybe-“
“I told you,” Jason’s grip on the batarang tightened, “I don’t need your fucking pity.”
“And you don’t have it,” Tim snapped back. Too angry. This angle was quickly slipping away from him. Shit. “You’re a psychopathic killer and I don’t know if you can ever been redeemed after what you’ve done. But I would’ve tried out of love, not pity, you sanctimonious asshole.”
Jason stuttered. He leaned back and breathed hard. Tim really wished he wasn’t wearing that stupid mask. “You said it wasn’t love.”
Tim took in a deep breath, and let himself fall over the ledge he’d been trying so hard to cling to since Jason pinned him. “I lied.”
For a moment, Tim was convinced he’d just sealed his own coffin. Whatever Jason’s feelings were, it didn’t seem like they were any particular deterrent to hurting Tim. He was inches away from killing Tim and leaving his body for someone else to find.
If they found Tim’s body at all.
But instead. Instead, Jason reached up and ripped the metal part of his mask off, tossing it aside to skitter off into the darkness.
And he kissed Tim.
Tim let out the breath he was holding against Jason’s mouth. And in turn, Jason breathed him in, greedy with his kiss. The batarang was kept firm against Tim’s throat, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
Jason was kissing him.
There was still the logical side of him screaming just how bad of an idea this was. All the reasons he could think of to not tangle with Jason were running circles across his mind.
Tim ignored them and kissed Jason back.
Jason tasted like metal and he smelled like gunpowder. Both of those things made sense and made Tim want more. He wanted every single part of Jason he could drink up, even from a single kiss. Jason’s tongue was in his mouth, licking and opening Tim up. They shared each other’s blood through the kiss, until Tim couldn’t tell whose was whose.
The kiss was broken by Jason just as suddenly as it was started. Jason pulled back and raised the batarang. Panic flashed through Tim and he instinctively threw his hands up to cover his face and neck.
The batarang slashed through Tim’s suit though, thankfully not giving him what might’ve been the stupidest death in the history of vigilantism. Jason didn’t seem to care about making sure the cut didn’t get Tim’s skin, though. Shallow wounds sprang across Tim’s skin and he hissed, watching Jason turn the suit to ribbons. The batarang was then tossed aside so Jason could rip off the suit as he leaned back.
The bat symbol on Tim’s chest stayed in tact, but everything below it was ripped away, exposing him from his abs down to his thighs. Jason knew exactly how to unclip the utility belt and throw that aside, with the shreds of fabric.
Cold air hit Tim’s most private areas. He wanted to cover himself, but he couldn’t get his hands to obey. His entire body was paralyzed under Jason’s gaze.
“Take off your mask,” Tim found his voice, rough and not sounding like himself.
Jason wore a cruel smirk. “No.” He did take off his gloves, though. Tim didn’t hide his sigh of relief. He didn’t want those claws on his skin. He was bleeding enough as it was.
The moment Jason’s hands were bare, he ran them over Tim’s skin. Tim hissed and flinched, but didn’t pull away. He let Jason’s warm hands claim his skin. Jason wasn’t kind or gentle. He smeared Tim’s blood around, exploring every bare inch. Tim’s stomach, his hips, his back, his legs.
Jason curled a hand around Tim’s dick and Tim’s back arched.
To be fair, this wasn’t exactly how he’d pictured sleeping with Jason. Still, he couldn’t find it in him to complain.
Jason jerked Tim off rough and fast. The blood on his hand was slick enough to make a smooth glide over the callouses of his palm. Tim groaned, eyes fluttering shut. He bucked into Jason’s hand. As much pain as his body was in, the pleasure was too distracting for him to care. Tim choked on every breath he managed to take in, unable to stop himself from crying out and whining.
His body was screaming at him because of what Jason had done to him. And now, he was letting himself fall apart to Jason’s hands in a different way.
“If Grayson found us, he’d think I was fucking torturing you from all the pathetic noises you’re making,” Jason growled. He barely sounded human. He slid his other hand up Tim’s chest and grabbed Tim’s face, stroking his cheek.
Tim groaned at the thought. He forced his eyes to open just so he could look at Jason. He really wished Jason would take the cowl off. Tim wanted to see Jason’s face more than anything.
“Don’t bring him up,” Tim gasped, practically humping Jason’s hand for more delirious pleasure. “I don’t want to think about him now.”
At least he could see Jason’s smirk. “Why? Because you know he’d disapprove?”
“Because I want to think about you.” Tim tried to grab at Jason’s suit to pull it off. His hands were clumsy and shaky though, probably from blood loss. All he could do was uselessly press them against Jason’s chest and feel the warmth through layers of armor.
“Fuck,” Jason groaned. His whole body shuddered, affected by Tim’s words alone. Jason stopped jerking Tim off so he could unclip his belt. He kept his other hand against Tim’s face though. Stroking it. “Least I know why you broke me out of prison, now.”
Tim made an aghast noise. “This is not why I broke you out of prison.”
Jason leaned in close, resting his face against Tim’s. “You still broke me out. So all my blood is on your hands too, Tim.” He pressed a kiss against Tim’s temple. “Bruce wouldn’t have been stupid enough to do that. Hell of a Batman you make.” It was like he had crawled into Tim’s brain just to voice all the awful little thoughts that Tim tried to bury.
“You-“ Tim tried to snap back, but he was distracted by the sound of Jason undoing a clasp, then a zipper. Tim looked down and watched, breath caught in his throat, as Jason pulled his cock out of his pants.
He was already hard.
Jason’s hand smeared blood across his member. Tim swallowed at the sight. Jason had pushed his pants down just enough to expose a sliver of pale skin. He had a sharp v-line and toned muscles just from the bit Tim could see. An embarrassing noise came out of Tim’s throat.
“Pathetic,” Jason said, but he groaned on the word, working his hand over himself. It was filthy. Both of them, covered in blood, and Jason jerking off on top of Tim.
Tim wrapped an arm around Jason. He wanted to sink his fingers into Jason’s hair, but he settled for wrapping them around the back of Jason’s cowl. Tim seriously considered trying to pull the cowl off himself, but he doubted Jason would take kindly to it.
The noises Jason made as he pleasured himself were beautiful. Tim’s sounds were animalistic and, in Jason’s own words, pathetic. Barely human sounding. But Jason. Jason sounded practically divine, low and smooth as he moaned in Tim’s ear.
“Please,” Tim gasped. He wasn’t sure what he was asking for.
“That desperate?” Jason downright purred.
Tim didn’t hold himself back from nodding. He swallowed down his dignity.
If he had any dignity left.
“I’m not going to be gentle,” Jason warned. Like he was giving Tim one last chance to back out.
Tim just laughed. “If you think I want you to be gentle, you really don’t know a thing about me.”
A guttural groan came out of Jason. He pulled back and lifted one of Tim’s legs, bending it as far back as he could. Tim wasn’t quite as flexible as Dick was, but Jason got pretty far before Tim’s muscles protested and he winced.
“Of course you shave down there,” Jason commented. He slid a hand over Tim’s smooth skin around his cock and balls.
“I don’t like pubes getting caught in my suit,” Tim huffed, trying not to let his cheeks go red.
“Don’t worry,” Jason hummed, “I think it’s cute. Makes you look like a fucking virgin.”
“I’m not.” Like it mattered.
Jason paused, just staring at Tim. Was he disappointed? It was hard to tell. “I’m going to ruin you for anyone else, so it doesn’t matter either way.” Whether or not he was disappointed was masked with a rough, possessive anger that made Tim gasp.
Rough fingers ran over the shallow cuts on Tim’s stomach and he hissed at the sudden sharp pain. It wasn’t easy to ignore the dull throbbing when Jason was practically fingering the open wounds. Tim almost asked what the hell he was doing, before he realized Jason was smearing blood across his fingers, getting them slick and coated.
“Seriously? You’re going to use my own blood to fuck me?” Tim asked, like just the thought of it wasn’t making him spread his legs wider. Still, the idea of cleaning tacky blood out of himself did make Tim internally cringe.
“You got a better idea?” Jason shot back.
“I think there’s lube in-“
“No.” Jason cut him off, pressing harder into the cuts just to make Tim wince. “We’re doing it my way, or I just leave you in a pool of your own blood with a hard-on.”
“Okay.” Tim caved instantly with a hushed whisper at the rough dominance.
It was so easy, for Jason to take complete control of Tim. He was putty in Jason’s hands, content to be manipulated however Jason wanted, so long as Tim got his own pleasure out of it. If Jason wanted Tim to bleed, he would bleed. If he wanted Tim to be spread open and ready to be fucked, then Tim would give him that too.
Christ. He needed to be checked out mentally after this.
Jason gave Tim a pleased hum, probably the closest thing to praise Tim was going to get out of him. He’d take it. Blood slick fingers pressed against Tim’s hole. Two fingers were forced in at once, hard and fast.
Tim screamed.
He didn’t expect Jason to be gentle, but it seemed like Jason was going out of his way to be rough. Scrapping his nails against Tim’s insides and brutally twisting his fingers around. He didn’t try to hit Tim’s prostate to bring any kind of pleasure. The brushes of his fingers over that spot were more painful than pleasurably, if anything. Fast and rough, giving Tim no chance to soak up the sparks of sensation from the bundle of nerves.
“Oh god,” Tim groaned, throwing his head back. His hips twitched violently, like they weren’t sure to press into Jason’s fingers for more, or to try to pull away from the horrible assault.
It’d been a while since Tim had been in this much pain. So battered from a fight that every movement of his body was weak and shaky. He grabbed onto Jason’s arm, desperate for an anchor. He couldn’t have pulled Jason off of him, even if he wanted to.
He didn’t, though. Tim wanted this to last as long as it possibly could.
He never got to drown himself in the pain. Pain was something that had to be compartmentalized and ignored, for the sake of the mission. Getting back on his feet and ignoring the way his body screamed at him was one of the first things Bruce taught him.
Now, Tim didn’t have to fight it. He could just give in. The half-hearted instincts from his body trying to fight back were ignored by Jason. Like Jason knew that Tim wanted this.
Needed this.
At some point, Jason must’ve worked a third finger inside of Tim. He didn’t notice. The burning stretch swirled with every other point of pain on his body.
He did noticed when Jason finally decided to purposefully press against Tim’s prostate.
This pleasure was new. Foreign and overstimulating with how aggressively Jason pressed down on the spot, rubbing into it to pull all kinds of noises out of Tim he didn’t know he was capable of making.
“Jason!” Tim cried out. “Fuck, too much, I can’t-“ Tim’s stomach was cramping from how hard his muscles clenched. He was falling, losing his grip on sensible reality. His head was full of cotton, foggy and unable to get a solid grip on coherent thought.
There were only three things that existed to Tim: pain, pleasure, and Jason.
“You can’t what? Use your fucking words,” Jason mocked, vicious and uncaring. He rested Tim’s leg over his shoulder to free up his other hand. His fingers wrapped around Tim’s balls and tugged. Tim screamed and arched like a jack knife. He hadn’t noticed how close his orgasm was creeping up on him until Jason pulled it away with a brutal, carnal pain. When Tim lost control of his body, Jason found it and snatched it up, holding Tim’s pleasure in his palm. Tim wanted to curl in on himself, but he couldn’t force his limbs to obey.
“Hurts,” was all Tim could groan out. He might’ve been crying. It was hard to tell, with his face so wet with blood.
“Good.”
“Jason,” Tim tried to beg. He was lost to subspace, something he barely realized until now. “I can’t take anymore.” He wanted more. More than want, god, he needed more, but his body was wired so tight Tim was convinced he was going to snap if Jason kept going.
He wanted that too.
“That’s not for you to decide.” Jason’s rough voice was a light at the end of a tunnel Tim was struggling toward to ground himself. To focus on something besides the agony crashing over his body in brutal waves. “Do you really think you’re in the fucking state to know what you can take?”
Jason was right. Tim just whined, a noise that turned into a choked sob when Jason pulled his fingers out just enough to slam them into Tim’s sweet spot again, overwhelming him with more awful pleasure.
“Give yourself over to me,” Jason demanded. He leaned in close again. Tim’s vision was blurred, but he could smell the gunpowder and leather. “Say it. Say I own you.”
Tim wanted to. He tried, opening his mouth and struggling to get the words out. He could only make more pathetic noises.
“Say it, or I’ll stab you and leave you to fucking bleed out.”
He probably wasn’t lying.
“You-“ Tim choked on the word, shaking so hard his muscles were spasming. “You own me.” Three little words, and they were the hardest words Tim had ever tried to say. Each one fought against him, getting stuck in his throat.
But he said them. Because right now, they were the only religion Tim believed in.
“Look at that,” Jason cooed. So patronizing. “You’re not completely brainless and worthless. Yet, anyway.” He pulled his fingers out of Tim. One second those fingers had been driving Tim mad because they were inside of him, and now they were driving him mad because they left him empty and wanting.
His body needed more. More pain, more pleasure. Until he broke and Jason fucked the shattered pieces left of Tim.
Jason got a hand underneath Tim, using the blood from the gash on Tim’s back to slick his fingers this time. That gash was far deeper. Something that probably needed stitches. It had started trying to clot but Jason agitated it enough for fresh blood to pour out. He was able to actually work his fingers under Tim’s bloody skin, making Tim shriek and try to pull away.
There was nowhere for him to escape from the mind-numbing pain. When he pulled away, he just crashed into Jason’s chest, forehead bumping against the bat symbol of Jason’s suit.
“So fucking easy to push your buttons,” Jason laughed. He moved his fingers around a bit more just to make his point and pull more wounded noises out of Tim. Then he finally pulled them free and let Tim fall back to the hard ground. It knocked the wind out of Tim.
He didn’t have a chance to try to get air into his lungs. Because Jason slicked himself up with a disturbing speed and lined up. The warning of blunt pressure against Tim’s hole lasted a fraction of a second and then Jason snapped his hips. Buried to the hilt.
Tim almost passed out.
He didn’t know if it was from the pain, the blood loss, or his body’s inability to get oxygen into his lungs. Everything exploded inside of Tim. He was full, so full so fast. Jason’s fingers hadn’t been nearly kind enough to properly stretch Tim for Jason’s size. It almost felt like being stabbed.
Over and over, as Jason fucked into Tim with no kindness.
A hard slap across Tim’s face forced him off of the edge of unconsciousness. He gasped, eyes snapping open to find Jason’s face right above his, the glowing eyes of the mask taking over Tim’s field of vision.
Jason was smiling. Blood on his teeth, dripping out of his mouth. Was it his blood or Tim’s?
Tim hoped it was both.
“I don’t know which Bruce would find more pathetic,” Jason groaned as he fucked into Tim, pulling small screams out of Tim with each punch of his cock, “you putting on that suit, or you letting me fuck you in it.” He brought his lips to Tim’s ear. “Who’s ruining his legacy now?”
If the physical pain wasn’t bad enough, Jason knew exactly how to rip open the wounds of Tim’s emotional pain alongside it. Tim cried out at the thought.
What would Bruce think of him, like this? Pathetic and barely human underneath Jason Todd?
“And they call me the failed Robin,” Jason just kept talking, like he wasn’t destroying Tim from the inside out. “At least I know how to be something other than Robin. Are you really delusional enough to think you’re going to be the next Batman?” A long moan came out of him and he thrust even harder until Tim screamed loud enough to make himself dizzy. “Answer me.”
Tim just shook his head. “No.” His voice was broken. His throat was sore from screaming, but the word still came out. He’d never thought he really could be Batman. So what the hell was he thinking, putting this suit on?
“Good.” Jason slid his fingers under the bat symbol on Tim’s chest, one of the only parts of the suit in tact. He ripped it off, the fabric tearing loudly in Tim’s ears. “It’s good you know your fucking place.” Jason changed his angle, finding Tim’s battered prostate again. Tim didn’t have the air in his lungs to scream anymore. All he could do was weakly mewl and whimper.
He could die like this. He honestly might. Tim had no idea how his body was holding on, in this state. Maybe it was the pain and pleasure alone keeping him alive. Just so he could soak up every touch from Jason.
Tim was never going to allow himself to do this again. So he had to enjoy it while it lasted.
This time, Tim felt his orgasm creeping up on him. His fingers dug into Jason’s arm and he pressed up into Jason’s warmth. The material of Jason’s suit was rough and unforgiving. It didn’t feel particularly good for Tim to grind his cock against, but he didn’t care. He needed any kind of friction, whether it brought him pleasure or road rash.
“I won’t stop if you come,” Jason warned, still hammering into Tim at a pace that should’ve been impossible for a normal human to manage. “This isn’t to make you feel good. It’s to put you in your fucking place.”
Tim could only whine, managing a nod of understanding. This was his place. He knew that. He never wanted to leave it.
The threat of being fucked into overstimulation hung over Tim’s head, but he couldn’t stop himself from chasing the high of his orgasm. He almost wanted to feel the overstimulation. Like his orgasm was just something to get over with so Tim could completely give himself over to Jason. To be used just for Jason’s pleasure, even if it brought him nothing but more pain.
That thought made Tim’s balls tighten. The only warning he could give Jason was a high pitched keen that barely sounded like Tim’s own voice. His eyes rolled back.
The pleasure of his orgasm didn’t overtake the screaming pain in the rest of his body. It just mixed with the pain, swirling into one intense feeling Tim didn’t have a name for. He screamed until his throat gave out. His back arched and he clenched around Jason, who kept driving into him. Jason growled in Tim’s ear. He was holding Tim’s hip so tight there would be bruises that would end up indistinguishable from the rest of Tim’s injuries.
All injuries that Jason gave Tim. Tim’s body was a canvass, and Jason’s favorite color to paint with was the red that poured out of Tim.
It was the best orgasm Tim had ever felt. No feeling was ever going to match this intensity.
Tim came down from his high with an awful wheeze, shuddering. He clung to Jason, like a guard dog laying at the feet of his master.
“Fuck,” Jason moaned. A shudder ran down his spine and his pace faltered, just for a moment. “You’re really something else, Drake.” From Jason, that was practically a compliment for Tim to soak up and preen under.
Tim’s body tipped over the edge of overstimulation. His survival instincts kicked in, trying to fight Jason. There was no strength behind his kicks and hits. They just made Jason laugh as Tim made a fool of himself.
“I own you,” Jason reminded Tim. He caught Tim’s wrist and pinned it against the cold concrete, squeezing tight enough to cut off circulation to Tim’s fingers. “I can do whatever I want to your useless body. Don’t try to fight it now.” He leaned down and found an exposed part of Tim’s neck to sink his teeth into. It wasn’t a hickey, but a proper bite, breaking Tim’s skin.
Tim cried out, but still tilted his head to the side to give Jason better access to his neck. Even when his body wanted to fight, Tim managed to submit. Like the submission was natural to him.
The pain took over. Tim just floated in it, forcing himself to go limp. Submit. No more fighting. He gave in to Jason and stopping thinking. All Tim needed to do was feel. Feel every point of agony scattered across his body. Feel Jason fucking him. Using him, like Tim was nothing more than a toy. The sparks from Jason slamming into his sweet spot couldn’t be called pleasure anymore, with Tim’s cock spent and limp. It was more pain.
Better that way. Tim liked the pain more. Delicious and mind-numbing.
Jason was swearing against Tim’s skin. He mumbled something Tim didn’t catch. Three syllables. Short and rushed out. Tim was almost convinced the second word was love. Maybe he was making it up in his head though, finally lost in utter delirium.
Tim didn’t care.
More insults fell from Jason’s lips. Calling Tim nothing, worthless, pathetic. A cheap pretender who deserved this. Tim agreed with all of it, feverishly nodding. The words were practically sweet nothings in Tim’s ears.
Jason yelled Tim’s name when he came. His hips stuttered to a stop, buried deep inside of Tim. He knew Jason was coming inside of him, but his body was too battered to feel Jason’s cum filling his insides. Shame that was. Tim wanted to know how it felt, to be claimed by Jason in this carnal way.
They were both so perfectly still, for two people who had been shaking and clawing at each other just moments ago. The only noise was heavy breathing that echoed through the night.
Tim swallowed. He tried to find himself through the pain. He worked through the body checklist that Bruce gave him. Vision. Smell. Taste. Feel. Sound. All the sensations clashed against each other, out of focus and pounding against Tim’s skull.
It was so hard to think.
Tim groaned. Focus.
Like cold water thrown on his face, he clawed his way out of subspace. Tim got a good look at Jason’s face.
“Are you crying?” Tim voiced the thought as soon as it crossed his mind.
With the mask, it was hard to tell. Jason’s breathing was shuddered, hitching on every inhale. Tim wouldn’t call it sobbing, but it was close enough for Tim to study Jason’s face. The wetness coming out from under Jason’s mask wasn’t red. It streaked through the blood.
Tear tracks.
Jason’s completely rational response was to punch Tim in the face.
Tim swore and curled in on himself, cupping his nose. If it wasn’t broken before, it was now. Jason pulled out of Tim without any care and stood up, leaving him curled up on the ground, trying to set the broken bone and manage the bleeding.
Tim tried to sit up. His arms and legs gave out under him and he slammed back to the ground with a pained noise. He looked up at Jason, squinting. Watching as Jason tucked himself back into his pants, then snatched his gloves off the ground to put them back on.
Despite clearly losing the fight, Tim had done a number on Jason. Jason’s face was bloody and his suit was ripped and torn in some places. He looked like he had been mauled by a wild animal.
If that was how Jason looked, Tim couldn’t imagine what the sight of his own body was.
His second attempt to sit up worked. Now, he compartmentalized. Forced the pain deep into the corners of his mind and locked it up.
Tim had to be functional now. He couldn’t let the regret and shame get to him.
“I-“ Jason started to say something. It was only one word, but it sounded uncharacteristically soft, making Tim straighten his back and hold his breath. But Jason cleared his throat and folded his arms, stamping down whatever kindness had almost come out. “I’ll throw you a bone. If any of the Bats find you like this you can just tell them I raped you,” he said it like some kind of mean joke.
Tim didn’t say anything. That wasn’t true. They both knew it.
“Preserve your precious dignity you care so much about, huh?” Jason continued. He sounded unsure of himself and he turned away from Tim.
“Jason-“ Tim reached out for him. “We can still-“ he struggled for the words. “It doesn’t have to end like this. You can still change. I’ll-“
“Don’t,” Jason snapped. He kicked away Tim’s hand. “We both know it’s too late for that.” He started to walk away. “Never wear that suit again, Drake. I’d hate to see you die to someone that isn’t me.” He almost sounded… protective? Tim wouldn’t call it fondness, but maybe something close to that. Tim refused to allow himself to read into it. Whoever Jason Todd had become, he was someone that Tim couldn’t save. He was someone who didn’t want to be saved, no matter how Tim felt about him. Tim had to accept that, even with Jason’s cum deep inside him. Some truths were immutable.
Then, Jason was gone. Vanishing into the shadows and leaving Tim there.
Tim tilted his head back. He allowed himself thirty seconds. He counted them. Thirty seconds to sit in his own filth and feel the pain for just a little longer, before he had to move and figure out how he was going to get home in one piece without anyone finding out what happened here.
Just ten more seconds.
Five.
Three.
One.
With grit teeth and a deep breath, Tim stood up.
#necrotic writings#jaytim#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#timjay#dead dove do not eat#battle for the cowl#cross posted on ao3#batcest#sorry this sat in my inbox for a couple days anon#i was like 'hehe i'll write a lil pwp for this'#and it ended up over 6k words. god help me.#this is proof that if you send an idea to my inbox there is a good chance i will just write you a fic.#you might have to wait a couple days but i will come for you with food and chaos.#anyway this is a smidge dark as a fic fair warning#bc idk how else to write them fucking during bftc 2#masochist tim drake you will always be famous to me#once again wasn't gonna put this one on ao3 bc i felt it was gonna be too short for that effort#then it goes and ends up this long.#my partner always laughs at me when i do this. bc i keep doing it.#pls enjoy <3 i wrote most of this while in a lot of pain so#me and tim were twinning there.#while posting this my roommate's kitten used me as a jungle gym. she's my editor in chief.
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
ghosts (part i of ????)
part two here
pairing: paddy x eoin; rating: M. slow burn.
this was the first time they'd had this conversation as eric and killian. but it was as if they'd had this conversation, many years ago, many times before.
(or, paddy mayne and eoin mcgonigal, reincarnated as eric love from 'starred up' and killian from 'angel'. they meet again, during the heights of the pandemic -- but they don't remember - until much, much, much later).
the next quack he saw after oliver was dr wilson, who was a no-nonsense scottish lady who struck fear more than deputy governor haynes ever did. she was young but wise for her years, with curly dark hair and spectacles and a soft dundonian accent. turned out she knew oliver baumer from some forensic psychiatry conference but it wasn't like eric to show that he's interested to know more. no, he didn't miss oliver, he said to her in their one-to-one session. he missed his dad, though.
--
seven years later, eric is allowed parole on the grounds of good behaviour. the world around him has changed, and so has he. is he fully rehabilitated? has that bloody posh quack oliver baumer cured him of his violence?
dr wilson told him she knew about haynes and cardew and the comings and goings of the previous corrupt prison regime. oliver blew the whistle and there had been a massive investigation and as a result, most of the inmates' cases were reviewed, including eric's.
'what would you do, then,' eric once asked, 'if you manage to rehabilitate me? then you'd be out of work, won't ya?' but now eric realized that there were worse evils out there in the world that subsumes the hearts of men.
subsumes.
ha.
there was once a time when eric would laugh in the faces of those who would use big words like that. but since he spent more time with tyrone, hassan, ashley, dr wilson, he'd started reading and expanding his vocabulary. he's even started reading poetry.
sublimation was a word he recently learnt. dr wilson was drawing a timeline of his life and a map of his thought processes and how he came to be the way he was. some things in his past can't be changed, she said, but the way he responds to things, can be altered.
neville died of stage four prostate cancer five months ago. dr wilson fought for eric to be allowed to attend his dad's funeral. he even has a social worker now, nate, who is about the same age as he is, but is a tall, strapping bloke from liverpool with a heavy scouse accent. they talk shite about football and how neither of their teams were doing well in the prem.
then oliver visited him in prison, only to tell him that he's moving to new brunswick. where the hell's new brunswick? nova scotia, oliver said. new scotland?
canada, oliver nodded. because he said they needed psychologists there and the nhs pay was shite and for all his pains oliver wasn't a saint.
jews don't have saints, eric said. oliver looked at him for a moment before they both broke into laughter. well, eric shrugged. you're a saint enough for me. you've performed a miracle. i don't punch people when they smile at me wrong now.
five months later his parole application was accepted and he was free.
except. two months later the whole country went into lockdown.
and this was how he met that irish waif, killian, with the dark curls and the dark eyes and the accent no one can understand, especially when he spoke, words swallowed underneath that blue mask that everyone's got to wear.
he never got to witness that wide, easy smile of killian's in real life, until six months later, but then, that's another story.
--
they met as hospital volunteers in south london, during the height of the pandemic. they both live two flats apart on the same floor, in the same council tenancy building, just ten minutes walk from st george's.
but they weren't friends, not straight away. there was nothing memorable about killian apart from that shocking mop of unruly curls on his head and that awful accent, though eric's learnt to keep quiet and let killian repeat himself several times to the staff and patients on the ward; 'it's killian with a k, not a c like cillian murphy,' he'd said, pulling at his ID badge and pointing at his name. 'this is how i look like under this mask, by the way,' he says, and the patients will laugh. it's a terrible photo, worse than eric's own prison mugshot.
they were wary of each other just as eric was often wary of strangers. he's sublimated enough by being kind to patients and their relatives on the wards -- he doesn't need to continue wearing the same mask with other people.
his new social worker, subodh, once chided him for this.
--
everyone seemed to struggle with lockdown, but eric thrived. he's so used to isolation that he never ran out of ways to entertain himself.
the internet is a beautiful thing.
--
he didn't realize who it was, not at first. eric has his allowances and benefits and saves them up -- he's got no need for new trainers or clothes; and even with food he's rationing them up like he did in prison, he's not a glutton for mickey d's or domino's or that chinese takeaway across the street.
but eric's got urges, sometimes -- an urge that started out as a curiosity, ever since he found out that neville and ashley were together.
the internet is a beautiful thing.
--
eric's watched too many of those videos, now, but to say that he has a favourite or a type would be a stretch too far. he's even tried jacking off to them, but he couldn't even get hard -- not when all he could think about when he heard the men on screen moan was to think of ashley and his dad, together.
no.
he slammed his laptop shut (yes, the same laptop that he got for free from that scheme subodh signed him up for). he learnt how to use vpn. just because he spent his formative years in and out of prison doesn't make him a technological heathen.
but the next night he decided to watch some solo videos instead of acted porn, and this was how he ended up clicking on the profile of user @/cuchulainn1995.
he never shows his face, and despite the irish handle he speaks with an english (sussex?) accent. the first thing eric noticed is he's got a low, deep, growling voice, and such big hands, long beautiful fingers. one of the videos started with cu chulainn (that's how eric calls him now) wearing a white button-up shirt and slacks, but slowly he unbuttoned it and palms at his slacks, deft fingers unbuckling his belt. the hand motion on screen was slow, steady, confident. eric was utterly mesmerised by the way those hands floated across, like butterflies, as cu chulainn stripped down oh-ever-so-slowly.
he's wearing a lacy bra underneath the shirt, flat against his chest, and a lacy thong that could barely hold in his entire length. he's well hung, slim, but he hasn't even grown into his full girth yet, as he begins to pump himself through the lacy fabric.
against eric's will, he got hard too, as he watches this stranger tweaking his nipple under the bra and whispering filthy things about wanting to fuck a bad boy and wishing to destroy something beautiful. this man who talked of not wanting to be fucked, but to fuck. all while wearing that lacy bra and lacy thong that eric wanted to rip up with his teeth.
eric's never come so hard in his life.
maybe that's why all of those losers raided the tescos for toilet paper. for wanking to videos this good.
--
killian's the one who approached him first, at the canteen, while eric was flicking through the copy of 'oxford book of war poetry' he found amidst the old magazine stacks of hello! and ok! in the nursing office.
the blt sandwich was a bit dry, and the coffee stale. this was eric's excuse for coughing up his food and spluttering them all over the table, when killian sat in the chair in front of him and asked, 'what passing-bells for these who die as cattle?'
'what the fuck?' was eric's only illustrious response.
'-only the monstrous anger of the guns,' killian replied, voice muffled under the mask. 'wilfred owen.'
'i prefer robert graves.'
'of course.'
this was the first time they'd had this conversation as eric and killian. but it was as if they'd had this conversation, many years ago, many times before.
killian tore up his roll and dipped it in his golden vegetable soup. he pulled down his mask and ate voraciously. like he hadn't eaten in months.
it was the first time eric saw killian's face, in full.
killian smiled, as he licked soup off his fingertips, inadvertently making kissy noises as his lips left each finger. 'i prefer yeats,' he said, oblivious.
eric tried not to stare, he really did. there was something about the movement that was so familiar to him.
but he couldn't place it.
he also thought, that birthmark on killian's left hand looked familiar too --
but surely not?
--
eric's throwing money he doesn't have to cu chulainn, subscribing to his live videos and in his head thinks that he's having a parasocial relationship with this faceless man with a beautiful body, like one of those marble statues the brits pilfered from ancient greece.
his colouring was dark, gingery, and eric wondered if they were as coarse as his own hair. eric wondered if he was as dark, or darker in real life.
in the busy chatbox filled with filthy comments from horny subscribers, eric once gathered the strength to type, 'if ur english why the name cu chulainn?'
eric watched the slight pause in the body language, face unseen from the neck above. and then, for a split second, the sussex accent switched to a soft irish lilt, 'who says i'm english?', and eric thought, 'i've heard this voice before.'
but eric forgot everything when cu chulainn started his show, and when he called his audience a 'good boy'.
eric thought it was a private message just for him.
--
they bumped into each other, at the aldi queue for the self-service checkouts, a metre apart. eric eyed the shite killian's got in his basket -- bananas, spinach, macaroni, yorkshire tea and a bar of dairy milk. eric eyed his own -- pot noodles, crisps, rich tea biscuits. then killian waited for him outside, humming mindlessly, a foldable umbrella in hand. it's started drizzling -- then raining, hard, unheard of for tooting, before walking up to their flat together.
eric pulled up his hoodie and made a point not to stand under killian's umbrella, although he's getting drenched like a wet soppy dog and killian called him out for it. 'stop being an eejit and get under the brolly,' he said, without raising his voice, and eric acquiesced.
--
it's only natural that when the government announced that 'members of a household could be part of another household' as a 'support bubble', that eric became killian's.
and killian eric's.
subodh told him that it's good that he's found a friend, though under no circumstances did eric admit that killian was 'a friend'. they had nothing in common, he said. apart from the poetry and the football (why does he support liverpool? he's irish, for fuck's sake).
eric's been in killian's flat, which was a mirror image of his own, except that they were filled with the most bizarre trinkets when eric's was more spartan. killian never let him inside his bedroom, though, and eric's never pressed further.
killian grew herbs in his flat. a pot of chilli, too. there was a time when he grew up on a farm, he'd said, and everything he ate was from the land around him, because he learnt how to grow them. he learnt how to forage in the wild, he learnt how to slaughter animals. he's good with a machete and an axe too, he'd said, before he realized he'd said too much and fell silent.
this was when eric knew that there was more beyond the softness of killian's visage - there were dark secrets there, hidden behind those eyes, underneath those long, dark lashes.
eric spent more time at killian's flat than at his, since the support bubble rule was introduced. killian can cook. and for some reason, despite saying that he's living on benefits too, he's got subscriptions to all the streaming services and has the latest games on his ps.
eric wondered where he got the money from.
--
it didn't take long for him to find out.
--
in eric's defense, it was killian who told him to fetch his phone charger from the bedroom.
killian's bedroom, which for the past three months had been off limits to eric, because the door was always shut and killian had never invited him in, not even for a casual 'this is my room' tour. boundaries. if there's one thing he's learnt from oliver and dr wilson and the likes of 'em, it's to learn how to respect people's boundaries.
it's the grey wall and the bedspread that caught eric's eyes first. his first thought was, surely not. his second thought was, surely not.
it wasn't as if there were toys splayed across the room for eric to see. the room was pristine, unlike the mess that was the living room, but eric had just seen one of cu chulainn's videos yesterday and this was where he had sat.
and the laundry basket was in the corner of the room. there was no weird smells, no bras, no lacy thongs - but he noticed the slacks and the white button down shirt. killian had never worn slacks and a white shirt to work, he was always in his casual stripey t-shirt before he changes into scrubs, and then, oh then, there's his belt.
the belt.
the images of killian's fingers, on the ps controller, or when he picks up a brown roll and dips it into soup during lunch hour, come rushing back. the birthmark on the back of killian's left hand, as he unbuckles his belt and unzips his slacks and touches himself. the way his knuckles disappear as he works his fingers up into himself.
and he hears killian's irish lilt, now, in cu chulainn's forced english voice. eric realizes now that he's one of the men who's paid for the way that killian's living.
eric doesn't feel anger. he doesn't feel panic. he's floating, in this room, because he's always seen it through the pixels of his laptop screen, but never like this. he doesn't even know whether he wants to hate killian or hate himself, because at the end of the day eric was the one who had been searching for it, again and again, like a man obsessed; addicted. killian was just there, doing his thing.
killian had been here, last night, doing his thing. and eric had fantasised of doing more, imagined that he could be touched the same way, on this very same bed. eric leans down and touches the ikea bedspread, clean - it's as if killian's washed all the stains off of it from last night, and the room itself smells woody, citrus-y. it smells like killian.
it smells nice.
killian barges in and asks what's taking so long, wooden spoon in hand, flour dust on his nose and cheeks. he's attempting to make sausage rolls from scratch, he says.
eric's eyes glaze over, like he's neither here nor there. he only ever had sausage rolls from greggs and his own mum was a terrible cook, so homemade pastries were out of the question.
the phone charger is still plugged in at killian's bedside, where he's dumped his camera and lighting equipment in a storage box. eric pretends not to see it, and hands the phone charger to killian, careful not to let their fingers touch.
'you ok?' killian asks, concerned.
'yeah,' eric lies. 'it's just that, i've never been in your room before. it's nice,' he says --
-- which isn't a lie.
killian softens, as he tilts his head to one side and squints at eric. 'aye, because you never asked, ya daftie.'
it's almost fond.
--
some nights eric will wake up, alone in his bed, grouching. he remembers the night he was about to be executed by the prison guards, to make it look like he's hung himself, before neville saved him.
he dreamt of walking out of prison, with no one to greet him but a dreary, empty council flat near tooting broadway.
some nights, eric will wake up, alone in his bed, grouching. but this time, he doesn't remember that night when he was about to be executed the prison guards, to make it look like he's hung himself, before he ended up walloping all of them, before walking out into the hot desert sun.
he dreamt of walking out of prison, but this time killian is there, saying, 'the dead arose and appeared to many,' -- except this isn't killian and he isn't eric, and eric struggles to remember the name of this man who looks so much like killian and yet just isn't.
his mannerisms are still the same, though, from the way he stretches and yawns and grins like a cheshire cat, and he is as generous with his touches as killian was. this man laughs at his unfunny jokes about sweating in hospitals and nightclubs and getting someone's goat, and serves him soup from the gazelle that eric-who-is-not-eric has allegedly shot.
killian-who-is-not-killian smiles, as he licks the soup off his fingertips, inadvertently making kissy noises as his lips leave each finger, and eric thinks, oh.
oh.
--
paddy, he says.
eric wakes.
--
at lunchtime, killian shows him an empty notebook that one of the elderly patients had gifted him, on late shift last night. it's worn and battered, faded ink on the yellowed pages.
'she stopped me in the corridor and told me i had to have it,' he says, 'and then she was gone.'
'which ward was this?' paddy asks. 'maybe she's just a bit off, ya know, with delirium.'
'aye, it was off rodney smith ward,' killian nods, before leafing through the pages again, carefully.
a note falls out.
'from paddy, to eoin,' killian reads out loud, squinting to make out the words.
'eoin,' eric says, weighing the word on his tongue, before deciding that he enjoys the way his lips have moved, the way his throat has closed, to form the lovely sound ringing between them.
'paddy,' killian agrees.
--
'so, the sand of the desert couldn't keep your soul buried, eh eoin?'
--
killian thinks, when he was growing up, his real da used to say: 'coincidence was god's way of being anonymous.'
but this isn't what he chooses to believe.
he believes it's more like poker: life won't always give him easy hands, but it'll be down to killian how he chooses to play it.
so he chooses to believe that it was out of his own free will that he chose to sit at that table and quoted wilfred owen at eric love.
he chooses to believe that it was out of his own free will that he chose to wait outside aldi in the pouring rain, umbrella in hand, to walk eric love home.
he chooses to believe that it was out of their own free will that they became friends, despite the dreams that he had been having lately: of quiet conversations in flimsy tents, of secret trysts under the desert moon.
'when it was the desert, and you, and me,' killian thinks --
only those words weren't his, nor were they eoin's, but from a fragment of eoin's soul that paddy's carried with him.
from egypt to sicily to normandy.
from dublin to ballymena to newtownards.
and now, to fucking tooting, of all places.
how poetic.
--
he couldn't find the woman again. she was, he thinks, not of white-european descent, and her accent was foreign, but killian had thought nothing of it when she handed him the notebook--
-- and disappeared.
the nurses had never seen her before, when killian attempted to describe her. and with everyone wearing masks, it became even harder to identify who killian was talking about, and the nurses looked at killian as if he was still hungover from whatever he'd smoked the night before.
killian will call her 'eve', he thinks,
and the notebook his forbidden fruit,
these phantom memories are akin to a serpent.
'take a bite,' they call out to killian;
-- and so he does.
this way, at least, he'll live.
--
tbc.
part two here
#paddy x eoin#paddy mayne#eoin mcgonigal#sas rogue heroes#eric love#i wrote this in the middle of a chest infection and not sleeping and i don't know if i'll ever finish it#i too am delirious and it probably shows in the prose#one day when i have regained my sanity i will reread this and clean this up and post it to ao3#i urge you to at least watch 'angel' to get some of the references about why killian is the way he is#and also 'starred' up to get the prison references because some events which happened to eric in the film was reminiscent#of what also happened to paddy in the show#before anyone asks i'm not a londoner and idk i just like writing to wax romantic lyrical about the stops on the northern line
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi! Here's a pre-"Representation" writing doodle, basically. I just wrote this really quickly last night on my phone and finished today
Just some self indulgent Felix and Kagami hurt/comfort ^^, no romance, I didn't really edit this it's just something easy for fun. If I made mistakes, no i didn't<3
(903 words)
———————
Felix sat curled up alongside Kagami, their shoulders pressed against each other as they both watched the sunset from the top of the London Bridge. They had been talking, but Kagami's revelation put a pause to their conversation to let Felix think.
His stomach churned, and his eyes fell off the bright line of the horizon ahead as he nervously bit his lip.
"And you're sure she won't...?" he asked, then sighed when he found himself unable to finish the question.
"Marinette is the kindest person I know," Kagami replied immediately, as if they hadn't been sitting in silence for a good ten minutes now. Her gaze, drifting along the line of the horizon until now, fell on Felix and his focused face. "Even though she can be... a lot..." Her face blushed. It wasn't like her friendship with Marinette had a spotless record. But ever since finding out that Marinette is Ladybug, Kagami had come to understand some things.
Now the silence fell again when Felix found himself emptily staring at the surface of water. Worry twisted his stomach. He absentmindedly touched his right hand, but his ring disappeared whenever he was transformed into Argos. Still, he desperately wanted to hold on to his ring right now, and so he released Duusu, the Kwami falling onto his shoulder with a sigh. His ring was right there, obviously, so there was nothing to be worried about.
"Ladybug and Chat Noir have killed numerous Sentimonsters before," he said finally, with palpable bitterness in his voice. He let out a breath he'd been holding in and wrapped his arms tighter around his knees. "How do I know I can trust them? Me. How do I trust them with knowledge that could hurt me or Adrien? How do I know they won't just try t-" He must've sounded particularly pathetic because Kagami quickly set a hand on his back.
"They never knew what we know. We just have to make her listen," said Kagami. Her other hand reached tentatively for Felix's. She didn't touch his right hand or his ring, thinking that maybe he'd be more comfortable if no one else was touching him. His grip was limp in hers, his hands cold and clammy, and she squeezed in assurance. "I would trust Marinette with my life."
Felix's lips pressed into a straight line. He bowed his head, closing his eyes. Loud inhale, then exhale. He'd watched Ladybug on TV. He'd imagined himself standing in place of those Sentimonsters countless times. Was the way they were treated truly all they were? Play toys for Monarch and a mindless obstacle for Ladybug? No, they were more. They were more than what their maker thought of them, the way he treated them. Just because everyone saw them as monsters didn't mean they really were them...
"It's okay to be scared," Kagami said and hesitantly wrapped her arm around his stiff shoulders. He didn't flinch away or push her away, so she took that as an invitation and hugged him. "It's a lot."
She was nervous too. Starting with revealing to Marinette that she knew about her secret. Ending with the worry that she wouldn't take any of this well.
"At times like this I wish my father had been right and I didn't feel anything," Felix said softly into his knees.
He squeezed his eyes shut. Despite everything he'd been told throughout his life, he had always known the truth. He had always felt every little thing just like any other person. Sometimes too much. Sometimes just the knowledge of what he was felt too heavy, and now he was putting himself out there, revealing his greatest secret, because he knew he needed help. From her.
Kagami stared at him.
"You can't let your father into your head like that," she said firmly. "It's not right."
Felix recoiled slightly.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Kagami shook her head. She sat back, realizing she'd sounded too harsh. "It's just easier to listen to these thoughts because we've heard them many times, but we mustn't."
"...Yeah."
Felix's thoughts drifted to the coming days again. Kagami's idea to ask Ladybug... Marinette, for help defeating Gabriel and by extension Monarch, gave him shivers. He briefly thought he should be the one fighting, but...
His fingers absentmindedly brushed against the surface of his brooch. He thought of Red Moon. The memory squeezed his heart within his chest. He had sworn to himself to never make a Sentimonster out of hatred. But that was all he would ever feel towards Adrien's father. He wouldn't create another person made only to feel those emotions and use them to destroy.
"...Fine," Felix said with a heavy chest. "I agree to your plan."
He finally lifted his head. The evening breeze coming from the river blew right in his face, and it worked like a cold compress against his heated, exhausted mind. Looking left and right, he realized the sun had long dipped beyond the horizon, and the sky was now a calming, dark shade of navy, turning to black.
"We missed the sunset," he said.
Kagami stood up and pulled him up to his feet. He grabbed her with his right hand.
"You'll have a thousand more to enjoy," she said, and he took it like a promise. They would find a way to ask Ladybug for help, and maybe it would all be okay.
———————
yayy thank you for reading. I completely forgot about Duusu here lmfao sowwy girl I will include you next time if it comes -.-
I also really struggle writing Kagami but whateverrr
#miraculous ladybug#felix fathom#kagami tsurugi#fanfiction#writing#idk mann i never post writing to Tumblr but i felt like sharing and this is not good enough for ao3 xd#maybe I'll endit it sometime idk#miraculous fanfic#fanfic#ml#mlb#hurt/comfort#sentimonster
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
The House That Built Me
“Figured you’d either still be at the tavern, or were already home wondering where I was.”
He smiles at you, soft, before looking away. “I was at the tavern most of the day, like I planned this morning. But… something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t really… giving it my all, and I think the patrons could tell.”
You frown. “What didn’t feel right? Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’m fine, Windblume. I’m just fine.”
You aren’t convinced. “Then, uh… do you feel like sharing what isn’t fine?”
His gaze drops to the dark sea below. “I think you know what it is, actually.”
Cryptic as ever, you take a moment to ponder what he might mean. He takes the silence as an opportunity to elaborate. “I never really wonder where you are, you know?"
~~~~~~~
Inazuma, all raging storms and war-torn, is calling your name. Shamefully, you find yourself running north instead, searching for something, anything to fill this home-shaped void in your heart.
Maybe, just maybe, you’ll come to find that home is a person, more than a place.
Pairing: Venti x Reader - Established Relationship, GN!Reader
Word Count: 11,033
Contains: [angst (with a happy ending)] [crying] [cuddling] [emotional hurt/comfort] [lack of communication] [loneliness] [memories] [not canon compliant] [pet death] [Reader & Venti are both adults] [Reader is not Traveler but they essentially take their place in the game's plot] [self-deprecating reader] [separation anxiety] [set prior to Version 2.0] [songfic]
A/Ns: This is a songfic! Title and verses written throughout the fic are from the song- "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert.
Lastly, some context- Reader is a Riftwolf-Human hybrid, can manipulate all seven elements but has an affinity for Geo.
I know they say you can't go home again.
Sand, warmed by the afternoon sun, swells between your spread fingers as you press your hands down into the ground at your sides. Summoning a modicum of Geo elemental energy, your hands meet no resistance as they sink into the compacted grains like a hot knife through butter. You drop your raised shoulders and let your hands bury several inches into the beach until the sand surrounding them is cool, untouched by the heat of the day.
Dismissing the energy you’d been using to repel it, you allow the ground to resist you again. You note the weight of the sand as it presses down on the backs of your hands, and the firm bed of grains packed beneath your palms. You shut your eyes and flex your fingers slightly, focusing on the soft grit of Falcon Coast as it surrounds your hands in its weighted embrace.
Breathing a heavy sigh, you reopen your eyes, dropping your head and cursing the earth beneath you. This attempt at grounding yourself is doing little to ease the knot in your stomach, nor the tightness in your chest. Looking up and out across the expanse of ocean before you, the sight of Musk Reef looming in the distance doesn’t help either. You refuse to allow your gaze to drift any further south.
You begin to ask yourself what you’re even doing here, and why you thought this was a good idea. You’re no stranger to fleeing to Mondstadt whenever the world overwhelms you, but this specific beach perhaps wasn’t the wisest choice. Certainly not when the very thing you’re running from is the sea.
You hadn’t put much thought into where to go, you just knew you wanted to go home. Materializing at the waypoint east of Windrise was simply instinctual. Though, when you arrived, you didn’t turn and head north like you had so many times before. No, you took a running jump off the cliff below, gliding south and landing on the coast.
Sitting here now though, hands buried in the same sand you first washed up on after clawing your way out of the abyss… it’s not as comforting of a spot as you thought it might be. You don’t feel grounded at all, caught up between memories of the past and fears of the future.
Tugging your hands out of the sand with a frustrated huff, you turn your head to glance behind you at the cliff to the north.
…Maybe you should’ve gone that way instead. Maybe you should go home.
I just had to come back one last time.
Materializing at the earlier waypoint once again, you pause to collect yourself for a moment. Making frequent use of the waypoints, especially in your current state, isn’t very wise. Then again, you aren’t in a very wise state. Taking a deep breath to dispel the dizziness, you let the warm breeze caress your cheeks. Looking around from your current vantage point, you find yourself grateful for the lack of people in the area. Even Chloris is currently nowhere to be found.
Well, at least you can think in peace. Jumping down from the crumbling ruin, you steady yourself against an archway, narrowly avoiding crushing a small patch of lamp grass. …Perhaps you should’ve taken another moment to collect yourself. Perhaps you shouldn’t be wandering through the wilds all on your own, in such a state.
You scoff at the latter thought. This is Mondstadt, and you’re… you. What’s the worst that could happen?
Pushing aside the thought that more alone time may not be what you need right now, you think yourself through your predicament once again as you set off on a walk.
-
You’d been reluctant to leave Mondstadt and set out for Liyue, despite knowing that you’d get no further answers to your myriad of questions here. Not to mention the nagging, relentless tug of fate, pulling you away from the nation you’d come to call home. You knew full and well that you’d have to leave. You’d find no peace in an attempt to ignore the call, and settle here indefinitely.
Still, that didn’t stop you from milking your time here as much as possible. You’d gotten to a first name basis with nearly every soul in the city by the time you ran out of tasks to busy yourself with. Gained quite the notable reputation for yourself in the process too, although that hadn’t been your goal. You truly just didn’t want to leave.
You’d trekked over every hill, passed through every valley, climbed to every peak and turned over every stone and leaf along your way. You explored the nation’s ruins, deciphered inscriptions half faded into their stone, and felled every field till- …ruin guard that stood in your way. You’d braved the frozen peaks of Dragonspine, and gained a newfound appreciation for the Pyro element in the process.
You stood atop the celestial nail, looking out through the blizzard and over the expanse of land to the southwest.
The vast, foreign land that laid before you scared you more than the journey to the top of the nail had.
After all, you didn’t fear falling. The wind at your back would surely catch you, you had no doubt.
Flecks of Cryo stung, colliding with the flushed, exposed skin of your face. You closed your eyes, balance wavering slightly as a result. A small arm was quick to wrap itself around your waist.
No, you didn’t fear falling. You feared leaving.
You leaned into the safety of your Archon’s hold, their concerned voice perfectly audible in spite of the blizzard winds surrounding you. “Are you alright? Do you need to get down?”
You feared leaving him.
-
Leaves from the end of a tree branch brush against your perked ears, pulling you back into the present. Shaking your head and drawing your ears down on instinct, you look around and realize your muscle memory has carried you the rest of the way home. Tucked away against a small cliff south of the Thousand Winds Temple, stands an even smaller cottage, forgotten to time. An Anemo Samachurl paces in circles in the yard, and its Geo counterpart sits on the old stone stairs leading into the home.
Ma'am, I know you don't know me from Adam.
The Geo Samachurl turns to look at you, and you give it a small wave in acknowledgement. Its attention lingers on you for only a moment longer, before turning back to continue watching its Anemo companion instead. A smile plays on your lips, tight and bittersweet.
You make no move to continue approaching, instead opting to back up a few paces and lean against a nearby tree, observing.
They can sense enough of your shared origins, or- maybe it’s the lingering abyssal energy on you… regardless, they can sense something on you that they recognize. Nothing specific, but something familiar enough that they feel no need to take up arms upon the mere sight of you. In all honesty, you feel the same. Their presence here doesn’t pose any genuine threat, so you’re content to leave them be.
In the many months that have passed since Venti and you moved out of this place, it’s become a haven for others. Whether it be traveling adventurers seeking shelter for a night, wildlife seeking refuge from a passing storm beneath the awning, or even your old Khaenri’ahn kin seeking a place to camp, the cottage has served many.
The both of you have kept a distant eye on the place since your departure. Though, Venti has found himself remaining more distant than you since these Samachurls have set up camp. While your presence doesn’t ring any alarm bells for them, the same cannot be said for Venti. While he holds no ill intent toward them either, something about the aura he emits sets them instinctively on edge.
You can hardly blame them. You’d raised your hackles and bared your teeth at the bard, defensive upon your first encounter as well. Looking back, he was hardly posing any threat then either, but at the time, you viewed everyone and everything as a potential enemy. After all, you’d just escaped the abyss and been tossed to the shore of Falcon Coast by the waves, your weaker control over Cryo failing you halfway across your attempt at an ice bridge. Waking up on hot sand to find a humanoid being with an unsettling gaze emanating a suspiciously divine aura above you was more than enough to kick your fight or flight into gear.
You attempted both, in that order. You immediately dug your hands into the sand and threw fistfuls of it at the stranger, successfully disorienting them and giving you an opening to flee. With nothing but ocean to the east, you bolted west, and then north, headed for higher ground intent on gaining an advantage.
Looking back now, you know nothing could’ve stopped Venti if he’d truly wanted to catch you. At the time, though, you felt pretty confident in having outrun him. By the time you felt like you’d lost him, you found yourself also lost amidst trees, the uneven terrain obscuring your sense of direction. So- tired, thirsty, hungry, scared, and confused- you dropped from a run to a walk. Pressing forward in the direction you’d run in, you kept your ears at attention to catch any threat before it could catch you.
-
The Anemo Samachurl breaks from its quiet chanting and pacing, its sudden cry pulling your focus from the past. From the way it points and takes off in a run, and the way its Geo counterpart rises to follow behind, you assume it must have seen something in the woods that caught its attention. You see nor sense nothing of note, and dismiss the likely false alarm. Probably just wildlife, or perhaps a Dendro slime looking to play. As the two little shamans run off into the trees, you take advantage of the vacancy they leave behind.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
You figure you’ve got enough time for a quick visit before they return. Besides, the worst that’ll happen if they do catch you in their “camp” will be a few disgruntled spells cast toward you as you hightail it out of there. It’ll be fine.
Approaching the trio of old stone steps that lead to the front door, your gaze catches on two handprints engraved into the highest stair. Memories begin to surface.
-
Sitting on the stairs with your back pressed to the door, you found yourself growing frustrated with the green-clad individual in your yard. Well, perched in one of the trees in your yard, to be precise.
You’d taken up residence in this old run-down cottage once it seemed that no one else had been occupying it. The first few days had been blessedly peaceful, it seemed the area was rather devoid of other life. Well, threatening life, at least. There were plenty of plants and animals, plus a little pond close by, providing far more sustenance than you’d grown used to surviving on. You figured it was as good of a place as any to try and sort out your next move. You hadn’t put much thought into what you’d do once you escaped, after all. You found yourself feeling… lost. After charging ahead with your focus locked on a single goal for so damn long… you didn’t know what to do with yourself now that you’d achieved it.
You weren’t lost for long though. The nosy stranger that found you on the beach proved to be the next target of your focus. Your peaceful existence in this cottage overlooking the sea didn’t last long before you found yourself in their unwanted company once again. They might’ve thought they were subtle, hiding amongst the treetops and watching you quietly.
They weren't. You could sense them. Hell, even if it weren’t for the strange aura they emanated, you could smell them. They carried a strong scent of fermentation with them, and you could easily pick up on the pungent smell in the wind.
On the third day of your silent standoff, you grew fed up with this stranger’s odd behavior. You only knew one way of settling things, and that was face-to-face, not through some weird game of observation. You cleared your throat, preparing your underused voice and searching for your words. Tilting your head back to look at the trespasser, you snarl at their relaxed stance, laid back across a branch like they’re asleep.
“Come down.” You bark the command up into the trees.
The stranger doesn’t comply, but they do acknowledge you, opening their eyes and turning their head to look down at you. “So you can speak!”
You’re in no mood to entertain their conversation, certainly not before making sense of their intentions. “Come. Down.” You repeat, voice flat and serious.
“Are you gonna throw sand in my eyes again?” Light and playful, they question you.
You huff. “No.” Not without good reason, at least, you think to yourself but fail to vocalize.
They hum in thought for a moment before going quiet again. You let the seconds pass, growing more irritable with each one. Just as you’re about to call them down once again, they roll to the side, willingly falling from the branch they’d been laying on. Your muscles twitch and lock for a moment as you stop yourself from… from… from what? What were you going to do, run and try to catch them? Why would you do that? They’ve done nothing for you.
Your lack of action proves itself inconsequential as the stranger falls at a remarkably slow speed. It’s less of a fall and more of a… decent, you suppose, seeming to effortlessly defy gravity. Righting themself midair to land on their feet, they pull their cape forward on their shoulders, beginning to approach you.
You plant your hands firmly on the stone at your sides, readying yourself for anything.
“While that wasn’t the most convincing answer, I suppose I can extend a bit of trust to you. I sure hope you don’t make me regret it though!” They come far closer to you than anyone with a sense of self-preservation ought to. They hold a hand out between you, and you stare at it, waiting for something to happen. “I’m Venti, a bard from the city.”
Finally getting your first proper look at them up close, you’re struck with the strangest sense of recognition. You couldn’t pinpoint it to save your life, but… something about this person feels… familiar. Distant, hazy, and inexplicable, but it’s there nonetheless.
You don’t like it.
When you make no move to do… whatever they seem to want you to do with their hand, they drop it, and you flinch at the sudden motion. Frowning, they question you. “Might I ask for your name in exchange, my dear trespasser? We can hardly get to know one another without exchanging some basic information.”
Your brows pinch in frustration at the stranger's many words. They say a lot, and they say it fast. It’s been… you can’t recall how long it’s been since you last held such conversation. One word stands out to you, though. “Trespasser? Me?”
He nods. “Well, technically, yes! I don’t know much about you yet but I do know that this isn’t your house.”
“How?” You question, eyes narrowing, watching as they stupidly step even closer.
“How do I know that this isn’t yours?” They question you in return.
You nod, claws sharpening, palms itching with pent-up Geo energy crackling beneath your skin.
“Because it’s mine, silly!” They laugh, reaching out toward you.
Your instincts take over as the stranger moves to grab you, and you force your hands into the stone beneath you. Releasing the Geo energy you’d been holding onto, you use the repelling force to launch yourself up off the stairs and at the fool standing before you.
You don’t make contact with them though, stumbling forward into what suddenly becomes thin air and tripping over nothing, sending yourself straight to the ground. Righting yourself before you can even register the impact, your claws tear through the dirt and grass as you turn back to face your opponent on all fours.
You freeze at the sight of them, casually propped against the railing of the stairs, clearly not poised to fight. With no weapon in their hands, and refusing to take on any sort of combative stance, you find yourself locked in a one-sided stand-off.
Not taking their eyes off you, the stranger pats the banister they’re leaning against. “I wasn’t reaching out for you, friend.” As you process their words and the seconds turn into a minute, they make no move to attack you, so you slowly let your guard down. Just slightly. Bending at the knees, you settle in a deep squat on the ground.
When the stranger seems confident enough that you aren’t about to throw yourself at them again, they allow their attention to leave you and fall to the step where you’d just sat. Following their gaze, you notice two handprints now carved into the stone, the very edge of the stair chipped away in places where your claws had caught on it.
You ready yourself for an attack, as this stranger surely won’t take kindly to destruction of, apparently, their property. But they make no move to do any such thing. They simply look back up at you with a knowing smile.
“You take after Morax, I see.”
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom, is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
Smiling and shaking your head at the memory, you make your way into the small home. It’s rather bare, even more so than it had been when you first found the place. The two of you had taken all of your personal possessions with you into the teapot, leaving nothing but the basic furniture behind. After all, you had far better options awaiting you through Tubby’s sub-space creation.
Seeing the cottage in its original state, it once again becomes clear to you just how little Venti had customized the place prior to you moving in. He didn’t, and still doesn’t have much to his name, truly living the life of the wandering bard he identifies as. Most of what he does have he keeps on his person, whether that be in the physical sense, or dematerialized and stored away.
The cottage turned into a bit less of a shelter and more of a home over the many months you spent there with him. You stocked the little kitchen with far more than just his assortment of fruits, and an array of objects you collected from your outings lined the shelves. Looking back now, with a bit more insight on your own mental and emotional states, you venture a guess as to your behavior. You were likely hoarding whatever you found as a means of making up for how long you spent having nothing.
Venti never shamed you for it, even though he likely understood the behavior from the beginning. He was incredibly empathetic, and kinder than you felt you deserved, even once parts of your past became known to him. It took some time, given your struggle to keep up with his words, and the bigger struggle of finding your own. You managed to get it across to him eventually though, and he’d been benevolent enough to take you in.
-
You come to a stop in the bedroom doorway, surveying the place through the lens of the past.
You remember countless hours spent at the small desk in the corner, hunched over paper with text on it that you couldn’t decipher. Venti stood beside you, one hand on your shoulder, patiently teaching you how to make sense of the symbols you saw.
You remember less stressful hours spent sitting on the floor, curiously plucking at the strings of the bard’s various instruments with your claws. He’d sit on the bed watching you, naming the notes and teaching you how to turn your discordant noise into beautiful music. You were never as good as he was though, and you really didn’t mind. You preferred to listen to him playing, anyway. The bard possessed a beautiful voice, and the soft songs he’d sing to you in the dark of night never failed to put your tormented mind at ease.
Staring at your designated spot on the floor, you laugh at the memory of countless nights spent refusing his invitations. He’d offered his bed to you from the beginning, insisting that you deserved it more than he did. Besides, he said, he was used to sleeping in trees and fields, on barstools and street corners. He claimed he wouldn’t miss the bed at all.
You wouldn’t hear of it. Vehemently denying any offers, you stubbornly slept- atop as many blankets and pillows as you’d allow him to give you- on the floor by his bed like the dog you were. He wasn’t the only one used to sleeping in uncomfortable places, and you weren’t about to lose your edge by getting too comfortable too soon.
You think of the way you woke up this morning, wrapped in soft, warm blankets on a wide, plush mattress, face nuzzled into his neck, arms around his waist.
You’ve both come a long way.
You hear the familiar sound of distant hilichurlian chanting, and make your move to leave, bidding your old bedroom a quiet farewell once again.
Slipping out of the cottage and rounding the side of the building in a few long strides, you narrowly manage to evade their notice. Peeking around the corner, you watch them return to their prior posts. The Anemo Samachurl diligently paces between the trees, its Geo companion keeping watch from the stairs.
You smile, and turn to make your silent departure.
-
Checking in on your old home had been a successful distraction from the thoughts you’re trying to avoid, but you couldn’t linger there forever. Still, feeling unprepared to return to the teapot and try to put on a brave face for Venti, you find yourself wandering. With no particular destination in mind, you let your feet take you where they may.
You try to think of nothing at all for a while, failing over and over again as your mind searches for something to latch onto. Apparently counting your steps wasn’t entertaining enough for it.
After a while of failing to meditate on your walk, you find yourself leaving grass and stepping onto a dirt path. Looking up and around, you realize you’ve made your way to the road leading to the Thousand Winds Temple.
Turning and looking south, you can see the massive tree at Windrise, off in the distance. Far, far, beyond that, bringing your eyes to the horizon, you can see the snowy peaks of Dragonspine beyond the tall cliff of Galesong Hill. You sigh.
And I bet you didn't know, under that live oak, my favorite dog is buried in the yard.
A few months after arriving in Mondstadt and settling in with Venti, you found yourself exploring the icy riverbank that borders Dragonspine. The stubborn bard, wrapped in the thickest cloak he owned, trudged along behind you.
You’d told him he didn’t have to join you that day, but the thought of you exploring unfamiliar territory without him apparently just didn’t sit right. So, in spite of his occasional grumbles over the increasing cold, he never left your side.
The area was predictably desolate, save for a few Cryo Hilichurl archers lounging on the icy banks like they were on summer vacation. You weren’t looking for a fight that day though, just to explore, so you avoided drawing their attention given the divine company you were in.
Later on, as you were focusing hard on what Pyro energy you could summon in an attempt to melt the ice encasing a chest, you found something far more valuable. Venti saw it first, having been eyeing the surroundings while you were focused on the task at hand. Calling your name, he summoned your attention with ease.
Turning to look at him, your gaze followed his pointed finger and landed on a dog, slowly making its way toward you.
The animal was fairly large, but certainly far from threatening given the state it was in. As it drew closer, Venti lowered himself to his knees in the cold wet grass, suddenly forgoing his prior reluctance to endure the elements. You smiled. It seemed like he’d learned a thing or two from you about dealing with fearful dogs.
You followed suit, crouching down beside him and getting on the dog's level. The shivering animal hesitated, coming to a stop about fifteen feet away. Materializing some fresh meat you’d caught on the journey there, you quietly held it out toward the dog.
It sniffed the air, but refused to move.
Tearing a chunk off, you gently tossed it in the dog’s direction, and it landed a few feet in front of it. Sniffing harder, the animal carefully approached the offering, sticking its head out as far as it could to reach the food and avoid coming closer.
The two of you spent the better part of an hour luring the dog toward you, slowly but surely winning it over with continued offerings of fresh meat.
Upon closer inspection, you were honestly shocked that it was still standing. Skin stretched tight across its ribcage, hip bones two sharp peaks, spine a long mountain range down its back… the thing was clearly starving. You weren’t sure if it was the stress of a difficult life, a sign of old age, or both, but what you assumed had once been black fur was almost white from graying, particularly in its face. It trembled incessantly, and as soon as it came close enough and didn’t seem apt to bolt, Venti untied his cape and wrapped it around the dog, who shockingly didn’t fight it.
Maybe Venti had been serious when he claimed he could talk to animals.
You fed it more bites of meat as the two of you quietly discussed the best way to get it home. Blessedly, once the dog realized that neither of you held malicious intentions, it switched gears surprisingly fast. More than just tolerating your presence, the dog actually began to cling to you, frantically whining when you both stood up, fearful that you’d be leaving it behind.
Abandoning your half-melted treasure, you knew it was time to leave. You were quite a ways from home and you weren’t about to try teleporting the dog in its current state. So instead, you carefully picked her up, frowning at how little she weighed. Venti took the remaining meat and distracted the nervous dog with more offerings of food as you began your long, slow journey home.
“Don’t- don’t feed her too fast. I know she’s hungry but I don’t want to make her sick.”
Venti nodded, tearing off smaller bites. “I remember.” He cryptically confirmed.
You adjusted the dog in your hold, pulling Venti’s cape up around her neck. “…Remember what?”
He suppressed a shiver, but you still noticed. “You ate yourself sick on fruit and raw meat the first night you spent here.”
Your head turned quickly, staring down at him. “You were watching? Even then?”
He nodded, expression solemn. “I followed you home, you know? It just took a few days for you to notice that I was there.”
You walked in thoughtful silence for a while after that, wondering if your scattered senses had failed you, or if he was actually better at hiding his aura than you thought.
-
The dog lived with the both of you in your little cottage for a few good months. She gradually put on weight, and some life returned to her alongside it. She still moved slowly, though, and you feared she was in pain.
By that point, you’d befriended a timid alchemist with mint-green hair, and sought her assistance. She’d kindly offered you a medicine of her own creation, advising that the dog seemed rather old, and likely suffered from joint pain. You offered her payment in Mora, which she politely refused. You eventually got her to accept a small assortment of bones you’d gathered in exchange, correctly surmising that the offer would be too tempting for her to refuse.
Sucrose’s medicine seemed to help, because the dog moved with noticeably more ease once you began giving it to her. She was far from spry, but she seemed comfortable, so you were content. She was also content, in the precious, innocent way that only a dog can be. Just happy to be alive, happy to be fed, happy to be safe. Happy to be near someone that loves them, and happy to be near someone they love.
“Adagio.” Venti had once said, gently raking his nails through her fur on a warm, sleepy afternoon.
“What’s that?’ It was far from the first time he’d said a word you didn’t know.
“In musical terms, it means played slowly… I think it would be a nice name for her.”
You considered it for a moment, and found it rather fitting, nodding in agreement with a smile. “I like that.”
Adagio spent her days laying in the shade near the cliff’s edge, watching the waves lap at the small shore below. Looking back, you can thank her for teaching Venti that you can survive a half a day on your own. She could hardly chase you all over Mondstadt, or weave her way after Venti through the busy city streets, so when one of you needed to go out for something, the other would stay home with her. One of the two of you were always there, and she never knew the pain of being alone again.
She spent her nights curled between the two of you. She couldn’t make the jump up onto the bed, and you were still stubbornly sleeping on the floor, so Venti made the executive decision to heave the mattress onto the floor as well. As silly of a sight as it may have been to an outsider, the three of you were comfortable, curled together amidst blankets and pillows on the too-small mattress, bed frame abandoned on the other side of the room.
Nothing lasts forever though, and it seemed to you that the best of things were always the quickest to go.
As months passed, her movements went from slow to slower, and she started struggling with more things. She could no longer steady herself to make it up and down the three stairs to your home, so one of you carried her every time. She slept more and moved less, and her love of food began to wane.
This wasn’t your first experience with something like this. Though it had been an awfully long time since you lived through it last, you still knew what was coming.
That didn’t make it hurt any less, though. Not at all.
Both of you sat awake with her through the final night, keeping her comfortable and telling her how much you loved her. You’d never hoped harder that Venti’s communicative abilities held true.
You kept it together until she released her final breath, and when you knew she was gone, you allowed yourself to fall apart.
Up until then, your walls had been an impenetrable fortress. No emotion escaped unless you allowed it. Venti had never seen you cry.
So when your pain escaped you this time, falling in heavy golden tears and landing in her gray fur, he could only stare. He knew this wasn’t his moment to intrude on, so he didn’t. He didn’t rush to wrap you in an embrace, nor did he try to offer any hollow words of comfort. This was pain. This was loss. He was intimately familiar with it, and he knew it had to be felt.
There isn’t a single detail of that night that you don’t recall, and the teal tears that fell next to your golden ones are no exception.
That was the first time you saw him cry, too.
-
The evening breeze cools the hot golden tracks running down your cheeks. You watch tears fall onto the dirt path beneath you, and then you close your eyes.
-
You both sat there with what remained of her until the morning sun slipped in through the window. You were surprised when Venti broke the silence, offering to bury Adagio beneath the Windrise tree.
You spoke through a voice thick and strained from your cries. “That’s… that’s a really special place.”
He nodded. “She was a really special dog.”
You wiped the fresh tears from your eyes before they could fall, turning to face him.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” He put his hand out, laying it next to Adagio on the mattress. “Unless you’d prefer elsewhere?”
You knew what to do this time. Reaching out and laying your hand in his, you shook your head slowly. “No. I think Windrise would be perfect.”
-
Opening your eyes, you raise your head to glance once more at the massive tree across the sprawling field. Bidding Adagio another quiet goodbye, you pull in a shaky breath, and turn, heading north.
Walking in silence for a while, you try to let your emotions settle. The tears you just shed seemed to help a little, but the knot in your stomach won’t leave you.
You follow the road a little while longer, but when you find yourself nearing the temple, you take a detour and head west, off the beaten path. You aren’t keen on running into whatever random explorers might be camping there this evening. Besides, the scent of cecilias is on the breeze, and you’d rather follow that instead.
Making your way up the uneven terrain that comprises the base of Starsnatch Cliff, your mind returns to its ruminations over what brought you here today in the first place.
You leave home, you move on, and you do the best you can.
The reason for your reluctance to leave Mondstadt became abundantly clear on the day you finally set out for the neighboring nation. As you left Dawn Winery behind and crossed the border, headed for Stone Gate, it sank in quickly.
Venti wasn’t beside you.
Up until that point, he’d been the literal wind at your back every step of the way. Every commission you completed, every request you fulfilled, every inch of land you explored, he was right behind you. Or beside you, or above you, or in front of you…
Regardless, he was there. Answering your questions, telling you stories, helping you make sense of the unfamiliar. Whether it be words you couldn’t yet read, customs you didn’t yet understand, or emotions you couldn’t yet identify, he was your guide through it all. The Stormterror crisis came and went, as did the… incident with Signora, and the two of you grew ever closer as a result of it all. You could fill a book with the stories of what you two went through in the mere year you spent in this nation. But, as you sat together beneath the Windrise tree one evening discussing it all, it slowly grew clear that it was coming time to move on. As if the notion alone wasn’t stressful enough already, there seemed to be an unspoken understanding that it was a journey you must undertake alone.
So, you did. You’d packed your things, said your temporary goodbyes, and set off on your own without so much as once giving in to the urge to ask him to come along. The goodbyes were, after all, only temporary. You hoped. If you made it through whatever awaited you in Liyue alive, you always planned on returning home.
And you did. Many times.
You, scared as you’d been, made it through the lively adventure that was your initial trip to Liyue, and you’d come out much stronger for it. You found a confidence that you’d forgotten you possessed, forced to show itself once there was no travel companion for you to rely on.
Quite early in your journey, you gathered that you weren’t completely alone anyhow. Sure, in your day-to-day there was no talkative bard trailing behind you, and the nights proved themselves awfully lonely indeed. But Venti’s parting words, “may the wind protect you”, proved themselves surprisingly literal as you took note of one particular Yaksha. After a few nights at Wangshu Inn, and a few bowls of almond tofu shared in relative silence, the man had made himself into your shadow shockingly fast. He never seemed to be around when your gaze searched for him in a crowd, but was always conveniently there the moment you ran into trouble.
Still, in spite of his protection, not to mention your growing, innate connection with the God of your favored element, you longed for home. You longed for your home. You longed for your God.
I got lost in this whole world, and forgot who I am.
So, once the dust, or, well, waves had settled and Rex Lapis had been “officially” laid to rest, you found yourself headed northeast.
In spite of how proud you’d been for making it on your own, all of that crumbled the evening you first crossed back into Mondstadt. You could've used any of the waypoints you’d resonated with, could’ve gone right back home to the cliff overlooking Falcon Coast. But something about that just didn’t feel right. Not for your first return.
Walking the path back toward Dawn Winery, you tried to keep your composure. You tried to not get irrationally emotional over the familiar sight of Anemo crystalflies fluttering over the grape vines. You ignored the warmth in your chest at the sight of soft yellow candlelight illuminating the cottage windows along your path.
Your weakening grip on your emotions completely failed though when you caught sight of a small, green-clad bard, legs dangling from the edge of a rooftop, plucking at his lyre.
You burst into tears on the spot, folding in on yourself and crumpling to the dirt beneath you.
He dropped the nonchalant act instantly, dematerializing from his perch on the rooftop and reappearing beside you in a small, warm burst of Anemo energy that you didn’t see through your tears, but definitely felt. He’d questioned you frantically, worried you were hurt, not understanding what was wrong. Eventually, largely thanks to his embrace, the sobs wracking your form eased enough to assure him that you were fine.
You’d just missed him, was all.
The array of conflicting emotions that flashed in his eyes at the admission would've intrigued you, had you not been so absorbed in your own at the time.
In spite of how badly you craved his company, you’d already proved to yourself that you could travel on your own. So, you continued to. After an extended stay in Mondstadt to recover from your first eventful excursion, you began traveling between the two nations more regularly. Having resonated with most of the waypoints and Statues of the Seven in Liyue as well, it was easy to hop over for the day and still come home to Venti at night.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Such was your routine until Madam Ping had introduced you to her Teapots. Adeptal magic was quite the wonder, capable of impressive feats, and the new home offered to you was no exception. When you learned that not only could you live in it, but you could invite others in as well, you were over the moon. You were, of course, reluctant to bid a more permanent farewell to the little house overlooking the sea that you’d grown so familiar with. But when faced with something as convenient and extravagant as the teapot, you could hardly turn it down.
Venti had been more than interested in your offer when you brought the thing home and showed it to him. After bestowing a permanent invitation upon him, he took a liking to the space quite quickly, happy to help make yourselves a new home. Having already been informed of your penchant for Mondstadt, Tubby had crafted a world for you that resembled the land of freedom’s sprawling hills, cliffs, and beaches to an impressive degree. Your new home was far grander than your old one, but with a little time and personalization with what you both brought from the cottage, it really did start to feel like home.
It was… nice, having a safe place to return to every night, regardless of where you were or what you may be caught up in. It was even nicer that Venti seemed to quite enjoy spending time there as well. There’d scarcely been an evening where both of you hadn’t wound up in the teapot together, sharing stories of your respective days over dinner.
Things carried on like that for the remainder of your time in Liyue. You spent more and more time in the land of contracts, and less and less in Mondstadt as a result. Sometimes you’d have reason to return, and somehow you’d almost always run into Venti while you were there. Time spent with him in the teapot was no less real, but it always felt… special, when the two of you were together in Mondstadt again.
Out here, it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself.
Still, just as it had been with Mondstadt, you couldn’t linger in Liyue forever. You’d built a reputation for yourself there to match your standing in Mondstadt, making a slew of new connections, exploring, finding answers and more questions alike. It was time to move on. Inazuma loomed far, far off on the southern horizon, and it was up to you to make the first step to reach it.
You didn’t want to.
You stood on the docks, looking out at Guyun Stone Forest, and at Beidou’s ship anchored nearby.
You found yourself feeling something you hadn’t felt in a long while. You felt the same as you had when standing atop the celestial nail, only this time it was somehow worse. It scared you. Yes, the prospect of setting off effectively alone to yet another unfamiliar nation, but more than that. It scared you because you thought you’d grown past this. You thought you could handle this. You thought… you thought you’d outgrown this immature sense of homesickness.
You were wrong.
If I could walk around, I swear I'll leave.
That’s how you found yourself here, ambling through the wilds of Mondstadt. You really, really don’t want to leave. But you know that you have to.
You think of the stories you’ve heard in Liyue, of the terrible war raging in the island nation to the south.
You release a shaky breath into the cooling air.
You pray that you’ll make it back alive.
Won't take nothin' but a memory, from the house that built me.
Following the cecilias as their trail grows thicker, you weave your way up to the peak of the massive cliff.
You’re only slightly surprised to see a small figure, dressed in a very familiar shade of green, sitting with their back to you at the very edge.
Tension you didn’t notice you were holding melts from your shoulders at the sight of him.
You do your best to push aside the emotional storm you’ve been caught up in, and you call out to him, playful. “Fancy seeing you here!”
He twists at the waist to face you, following your movement as you approach. “I could say the same, love. What brings you here?”
You laugh softly as you come to a halt beside him. “Well, I could ask the same of you.” You carefully lower yourself to the ground, letting your legs dangle off the cliff beside his. “Figured you’d either still be at the tavern, or were already home wondering where I was.”
He smiles at you, soft, before looking away. “I was at the tavern most of the day, like I planned this morning. But… something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t really… giving it my all, and I think the patrons could tell.”
You frown. “What didn’t feel right? Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’m fine, Windblume. I’m just fine.”
You aren’t convinced. “Then, uh… do you feel like sharing what isn’t fine?”
His gaze drops to the dark sea below. “I think you know what it is, actually.”
Cryptic as ever, you take a moment to ponder what he might mean. He takes the silence as an opportunity to elaborate. “I never really wonder where you are, you know?”
You glance at him, bemused for a moment before growing serious. “Oh, what, were you- like- watching me today? How… Wait, how long have you been up here, actually?”
He doesn’t look at you, but he shakes his head. “I don’t have to be watching you to know where you are, dear.” The wind tousles your hair. “I’m already everywhere. All the time. If the wind can reach you, I’m there.”
“...Oh. Right.” You let your own gaze fall to the sea. “Maybe I let myself forget sometimes, just how… literal that is.”
You remember the warm sea breeze from this afternoon, the brief gust that cooled your tear-stained cheeks early this evening, and the wind that brought the scent of cecilias down toward you.
“...So you could tell that I was here today.”
“Yeah.” He confirms quietly. “There was something… discordant, blowing in from Falcon Coast this afternoon. It didn’t take long for me to identify you.”
Guilt blooms within you. “Is that when you left the tavern?”
“No, I didn’t head out immediately. I mean- I can hardly turn off my omniscience, but I do still try to give you privacy in spite of it. I figured if you needed me, or… wanted me, you would call out.”
The way he says “wanted” makes your frown deepen.
“But, when the tone of the air only continued to sour as time passed, I did eventually give in to my concern.”
You pluck at the grass beneath you to busy your hands. “I’m sorry for distracting you. I really didn’t mean to, I just…”
He turns to you, cutting you off. “Please don’t say that. I couldn’t care less about losing out on a few mora at the tavern. I care about the fact that you’re out here, crying to yourself, all alone.”
A familiar tension makes itself at home again in your throat. “I…”
You trail off, lost for words. Venti makes up for it though, seeming to suddenly have quite a bit to get off of his own chest. “I can sense the difference between someone who wants to cry on their own, and someone who’s crying because they’re on their own.” His pained voice nearly cracks. “I never thought I’d feel the latter coming from you. But I’ve felt it more than once now, and… I don’t know what to do.”
At his confession, honesty slips out of you, and you can’t hold back the tears that come with it. “I miss you.” You turn to face him, and then look past, gesturing weakly out to the sprawling land of freedom behind you. “I miss this! I miss home! I miss you!” Voice breaking, you choke on your tears and lean into him, crumpling pathetically down onto his lap and curling yourself around him like the needy animal that you are.
His hands settle on you, one on your back and another reaching for your legs, pulling you against him so you don’t slip off the edge. His winds would cradle you if you fell, but he’d rather prevent the problem before it can happen. His own voice is tight with emotion when he speaks. “You have me, love. You- you hold me every night, I bid you goodbye every morning, you can visit Mondstadt whenever you please!”
You shake your head vehemently in his lap, crying harder.
“I’m sorry, love- I- I really don’t understand. In what way do you not have me?”
You practically shout your answer into the fabric of your sleeves, turning your head just enough to pointlessly attempt to wipe your face. “When I leave! I have to leave! I have to leave, and leave you behind, and you aren’t with me, and I’m alone again every time I go!”
One of his hands comes up to carefully comb the damp hair from your face, the black tips now wet with shimmering gold. “When you leave Mondstadt? Like… like when you go to Liyue?”
You nod, almost hyperventilating as your fears spill from you. “I should've never gone there alone! I wanted to ask you, I wanted you to come with me so badly but something told me that I shouldn't ask, that I should go alone, and so I went and I was so fucking scared but- but- but I was fine- I was fine- I made it back alive and so what if I cried every night because I missed you? I had a fucking nation to save it’s not like I could come home crying to you about it! And- and I mean Xiao was there but I- I- I can fight I can hold my own I don’t need protection I need a friend! I need company! I need you! I- I knew I’d be fine but fuck I felt so alone and I missed you, I missed you, I missed Venti, I missed Barbatos, I missed you SO MUCH-” You suddenly heave for air in the middle of your spiel, breathing in too hard and choking on your own spit. Feeling about as vulnerable and pathetic as you’ve ever been, you give in to the misery, grasping for purchase at any part of him you can reach. Your claws dig into the thin fabric of his tights in a way you know you’ll be frantically apologizing for later, but in this moment you can’t bring yourself to stop. You can't bring yourself to do anything but cry, and cry, and cry.
He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, the only sound he makes instead being a quiet, gentle hush, over and over, focused on calming you down. The cool hand that finds its way beneath your hair and settles on the back of your hot neck feels like heaven, and for a moment you cry harder at the relief. His other hand pets across the broad expanse of your back in slow, rhythmic, sweeping motions.
When your cries have quieted enough for you to focus on his words, he says something that surprises you.
“I’d have gone, if you’d have asked me.”
You hiccup a question. “Wh-what?”
“To Liyue. I would have been more than happy to go with you, if you’d have only asked.” His lithe fingers gently massage at the tension in your neck.
You twist in his hold just enough to look up at him. “Seriously?”
He gives you a weak smile, but it’s more sad than anything. “Of course. The only reason I didn’t invite myself along was because I wanted you to have the freedom to choose. I figured… if I offered to go with you, you might feel obligated to bring me with you.”
You laugh, but there's no humor in it. “This whole time… this whole time I really thought that you didn’t want to go.”
He’s visibly pained by the thought. “Why in the world wouldn’t I?”
You shake your head. “I don’t know… I just figured you had your reasons. It is another nation after all, and I’m still… not too sure how Archons feel about crossing into one another’s territory.” You clear your throat and scrub at your eyes and cheeks with a fist. “Figured maybe you didn’t want to run into Morax or something…”
He laughs, and there’s a bit of life in it this time. “Even the prospect of running into that old block-head wouldn’t be enough to stop me from accompanying you.” He takes your hand in his, stopping your aggressive assault on your messy face. “And while certain Archons might be… less than enthralled to see me again, just because I’m with you doesn’t mean I have to be recognized.”
Your brow furrows. “Venti and Barbatos don’t look all that different…”
He smiles down at you good-naturedly. “True. But I could take another form if it came down to it. Something unrecognizable to even them. If there’s anything I know how to do, it’s how to hide in plain sight and not be found.”
In spite of the tears still staining your cheeks, you give a small smile to your absentee God. “You’d really go to such lengths? For me?”
He gives you a confident nod. “For you and you only, love.”
His hand continues its gentle ministrations across your back, and your muscles gradually relax. You run a hand along the fabric of his tights, waiting for your breaths to come steady. As your senses slowly return to you, your fingertips brush across a few small tears in the material, and you cringe. Venti notices as much, and reassures you. “Hey- It’s alright. Don’t worry about that.”
His words are too late to stop you from raising your head enough to observe the damage, your hand gently cupping his thigh. “I didn’t scratch you… did I?”
“Nope! Just caught the fabric is all.” You aren’t inclined to believe him, given that with his abilities he could’ve healed any minor wounds before you even knew they were there.
You huff, dropping your head to his lap once more. “I’m still very sorry. I’ll buy you-”
“That won’t be necessary-” He tries to cut you off, but your insistence overpowers his own.
“I am buying you a new pair.”
He sighs in reluctant acceptance, knowing better than to challenge you. “Alright, alright. If you insist.”
You lay there for a moment, idly kneading at his thigh and letting the soft sounds of the evening wildlife fill the silence. Still, you struggle to wrap your head around the recent revelation. “You’d really be willing to leave this place?”
He laughs beneath his breath at your disbelief. “I mean, not permanently. If you’ve hatched some plan to move to Snezhnaya that I don’t know about, then I might have to disappoint you…”
You relax further at the familiar, playful edge that returns to his voice. “Nah, nah, nothing like that… just- on my journey away and back. Not- not even every time! Just… sometimes. It… really would’ve been nice to have you by my side the first time, actually, but I know it’s too late for that now. I just… wouldn't have felt so lost.”
His smile fades a bit at the confirmation of a long-held suspicion. You had been missing him as badly as he’d missed you.
You catch the shift in his demeanor, no matter how slight. “...I’m making you sad…”
One of his hands finds yours. “Only at the realization of how oblivious I’ve been.” He laughs, humorless. “All those nights I couldn’t sense you in the wind, all the time I spent wondering if you were okay… you weren’t. You were holed up somewhere, crying, alone, afraid…”
His eyes pinch closed and you squeeze his hand. “It’s not on you. I should’ve been more honest with you before I left.”
He huffs, and then he’s quiet for a moment, thinking. It’s times like these in which you wish you could read him as well as he can read you. “...I could say the same.”
You stare up at him for a moment in confusion. “What do you mean?”
He holds your gaze for a moment and opens his mouth to speak, but seems to think better of whatever he had to say. His focus shifts from you and out to the sea. “...Like I said, I would’ve been happy to follow you. I never should’ve let you grow to believe otherwise.”
You pout just slightly at the less-than-complete sounding answer, but another question overrides your focus. “Is Liyue… the limit?”
The hesitation in your voice gives him pause. “What do you mean?”
“Is Liyue, like, as far as you’re willing to go.”
His eyes brighten in understanding, and you’d collapse from relief at the shake of his head if you weren’t already on the ground.
“Oh! No, not at all. I really meant it when I said I’d risk running into the other Archons for you.”
You release his hand and reach up to pinch the fat of your cheeks between your claws. He pouts, reaching down to stop you. “What’s that for?”
“I’m afraid I’m dreaming or something…”
He laughs properly, a beautiful sound. You crane your neck up to glance southward. The wall of storms barricading Inazuma are still there, an awful sight. You drop your head back to his lap with a heavy sigh.
He pats you gently on the cheek. “You’re wide awake, I assure you.”
Reaching up, you gently bat at the braids that hang at the sides of his face, chewing on your lower lip. He reads you like a book. “I think we’ve learned something this evening, dear.”
“What’s that?”
He catches your hand mid-air, splaying his fingers out and lacing them between yours. “It’s that when we have something to ask of one another, we should do it.”
The corner of your mouth turns up, and you meet his gaze. “Is that your fancy way of telling me to spit it out?”
He giggles. “Maybe.”
You sigh, letting your gaze drift away from him and up to the stars far, far above. “Would you be so kind… as to accompany this scared old dog all the way to Inazuma?”
You close your eyes, waiting for a “no.”
It never comes. Instead, he squeezes your hand in his, and you’re shocked to hear relief in his tone when he answers you. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Your eyes flicker open, unsure. “Is… is that a yes?”
He nods vehemently. “It is.”
The tears that spring to your eyes catch you by surprise. He wipes them away with his thumb as they fall. Sniffling, you question him again. “There’s- There’s a whole war going on over there right now, you know?”
The blue in his braids brightens, and in the dark of the early night, you notice the same turquoise light begin to shine from his chest, beneath the thin fabric of his white shirt. “I’m no stranger to war.”
You reach up, tracing a gentle finger across where you know one of his Archon marks to be. “...That you aren’t.”
His thumb swipes across the black star at the base of your neck, half hidden by your collar. “...Guess that makes two of us, huh.”
It’s a rhetorical question, but you hum in confirmation nonetheless. Rising from your spot on his lap, you wiggle your way around until you’re seated beside him properly again. Reaching an arm out, you wrap it around his shoulders, and he leans into you. Both of you stare out across the sea, watching the lightning flash in the storm to the south.
“I don’t even know what I’m gonna be able to do to help.” You sigh. “But I know I have to go.”
One of his hands finds yours again. “Whatever may come, I consider it an honor to fight alongside you.”
You bark a laugh, shaking your head at the notion. “Hey now, I just asked you to come with me, I never said anything about putting you in the line of fire.”
He smiles. “I know, I know, but still… if it comes down to it-”
“If it comes down to that, I’m hauling you over my shoulder and taking us both home.” You cut him off in a no-nonsense tone.
Your seriousness doesn’t cause his mirth to falter. “I fear I’m gonna be the one dragging you home if we run into Signora while we’re there.”
A low growl reverberates from your chest at the mere mention of her. “We’ve still got a score to settle.”
He pats you on the thigh placatingly, humor in his words. “Darling, how many times must I reassure you? I let her take it from me.”
“Still, she didn’t have to be so fucking rough about it. I’m not after the gnosis. She made this personal.” You snarl.
His soft laughter subsides as he shakes his head, but he doesn’t argue.
The two of you watch the lightning show for a short while, before you grow tired of the dreadful sight and opt to focus on something better. Unwrapping your arm from the God at your side, you stifle a laugh as he voices his sudden startled displeasure. You apologize as you reposition yourselves, moving away from the edge a bit and turning the both of you around. “Sorry about that, didn’t realize you’d almost fallen asleep on me.”
He pouts. “Can you blame me? You’re warm, and it’s been a stressful day… and speaking of-”
You nod. “I know. We should be getting home soon. But- look.” You point at the beautiful sight of Mondstadt City, lit up for the night, a beacon of hope and freedom standing strong in the distance. “Isn’t that a sight worth sticking around a little longer for?”
He sighs in content as you pull him against you once more. You can’t feel the swell of pride in his chest at the sight, but you can hear it in his voice. “It sure is.”
Lifting his hat from his head and placing it in his lap, you comb your fingers through his hair, finding your own satisfaction in the way he melts against you. The two of you admire the city for a long few minutes, and a thought occurs. “As much as I want you beside me… I feel bad taking you from your people.”
He shakes his head and the motion tickles as his hair brushes against your chin. “They don’t need me, love. At least, not in the day-to-day sense.” He huffs. “Honestly, I think the most prominent place that my presence will be missed is the tavern, and that’s of little consequence in the grand scheme.”
You know he’s right, but the guilt still nags at you. “I guess…”
He leans away just enough to turn and look you in the eye. “You are one of my people too, you know?”
You hold his gaze, considering it. Have you really been here long enough, or made a big enough impact on the region to be bestowed with such an honorary title? “...I suppose I do.”
He reaches up and cups your cheek, eyes pleading. “Then let me be there for you.”
You breathe a sigh of acceptance. “...Okay.” You turn your head and plant a quick kiss against his palm before he can pull away.
He lets his hand drop, but doesn’t turn away. “I’m really sorry that you’ve been carrying all of this pain with you for so long. I should have questioned you on it sooner.”
You pick his hand up from his lap, taking it in yours. “It’s not your fault. At least, certainly not anymore than it is mine. I should've just asked you to come, the worst thing you could’ve said was no.”
“I still hate that you even thought I might’ve said no. I… should have made my willingness clearer.”
“Nah, I mean, after a year of following me around Mondstadt I think you were quite clear. I’m just… dense.” You summon a few tiny Geo shards in your palm before allowing them to crumble into a shimmering pile of dust. “Comes with the territory, I suppose.”
Venti scoffs. “Well if you’re dense, then I’m diffuse.” A tiny gust of Anemo swoops in and lifts the dust from your outstretched palm, scattering it to the wind.
You watch your two energies mix and dissolve into the night air. “I guess they do say that opposites attract.”
He hums. “That they do, love.”
You expect him to turn back toward the city, and he almost does, but then he hesitates, and calls you by name. “I want you to remember something.”
Your interest piques, brows raising above tired, lidded eyes. “And what’s that?”
His tone is serious. “You are not alone. Ever. Not if you don’t want to be. I don’t want you hesitating to call on me ever again. If you need me, if you want me, I’m there. No exceptions.” Maybe it’s the day’s exhaustion catching up with you, but the light in his eyes feels like a beacon, guiding you home. “You don’t ever have to be alone again. Remember this, please.”
Something warm blooms in your chest, and it’s in this moment that you realize the knot in your stomach has loosened. It isn’t gone, but it’s hardly noticeable anymore, and you finally breathe easy. You hold his gaze for a moment before nodding, serious. “I will.”
He brings his hand up, holding his pinky out toward you. “Promise?”
You smile, reaching out and wrapping yours around his. “Promise.”
He exhales, satisfied. “You wanna stay out here a bit longer?”
You open your arms in invitation. “I’d love to.”
Shuffling around once more, you help situate him between your legs, pulling him back against your chest.
“Alright, but don’t hold it against me if I fall asleep out here. You make for quite the comfortable bed, you know.”
You smile, nuzzling into his hair and breathing him in. The heavy scent of fermentation he once carried is now nothing but a faint whisper. “I won’t mind.” Lifting your gaze from the distant city lights, you quietly admire the stars above. “Not at all.”
A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! You can find my commentary on this fic in the notes right here on Ao3. For more info on my OC Saoirse (aka this fic's "Reader"), along with links to various relevant playlists and moodboards, you can find it all here, in the notes of my fic series "This Is Unconditional." This is fic 4 of 16 that I'm doing based on combining prompts from this list! [Day 6 (Singing) & Day 21 (Memory)] Header Image Source: Me, for once! It's an in-game screenshot that I took myself.
#venti#venti x reader#genshin impact#genshin#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact venti#genshin venti#barbatos#genshin fanfic#attempt number 2 at posting this.. now with fewer tags incase that was the problem last time#i did Not spend the last 6 nights editing it and meticulously preparing the drafts on here and Ao3 for it to not be seen#i have no clue what made it not show up in the tags but i'm gonna try this and if it wasn't that (or just a random incident)#then i'll split it in half and post in in two parts. maybe 11k is overwhelming for Tumblr's system or smthn idk man#i feel like the 'Venti is an adult' mention is unnecessary but i slapped it up there anyways for all of you Short = Minor buffoons 🙄#i. actually can’t think of much else to ramble abt in the tags bc like. i already did that on Ao3 😭 and linked all the playlists and stuff#i’m not just trying to push my Ao3 acct on ppl when i always link to it in the end notes it’s just that i draft my fics up over there first#so by the time i’m drafting them here on Tumblr i’ve simply run out of yap
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
A few LADS-focused scenarios/hc I don't know whether to put it in a fic or to draw them but I need to get this out regardless
In no particular order! (putting a page break because this gets long and i don't want to clog the tags)
While they get along well, there were a few very rare times Luke and Kieran squabbled with each other, which then resulted in a series of borderline worrying instances where MC genuinely believed that the twins really want to end the other.
.
One of the instances involves Kieran asking for MC's help to get the smallest and spiciest chili/pepper she can get her hands on in Linkon (because he doesn't want to alert a single soul in the N109 zone). Even though confused by the request, MC did so, which is how she finds herself trying to stop Kieran from gobbling the entire bag of ghost chili peppers in one go in her kitchen later that day. Him explaining that its to get even with Luke did not help lessen the confusion.
.
Whenever MC wants to get something for Sylus online (regardless whether its meant to a gift or her trying to prank him), she tells him to 'look away' for a certain period of time. It did nothing to hide the surprise from him, but he did uphold his promise.
.
On one occasion, Xavier and MC spent the night at Philo for 'reason'. To kill some time, these two along with Jeremiah decided to have a movie night and let MC choose what to watch.
.
Long story short, any films, books, documentaries etc related to the story of Hachiko the dog are now banned within Xavier's and Jeremiah's vicinity. Their reaction towards the film was so strong that MC felt guilty for ever bringing that up as a suggestion, but the guys reassured her that it wasn't her fault. They just didn't expect it to hit them hard.
.
MC secretly challenges herself to see how many items she can stack on Xavier's sleeping figure before he wakes up. Without him knowing, this challenge becomes a collaborative effort between her and the staffs at Destiny cafe since his sleeping posture there is the most optimal.
.
The record so far is; three coffee table books/magazines, on top of that are two stacks of plastic cups, a tray, a great wall made out of paper cups, another tray, 6-tiered paper cups tower, and a small empty pot.
.
All of that toppled down when Xavier sneezed and jolted up straight.
.
(this is based of an idea for an animatic i wanted to make in the future hehe) Jeremiah and Tara helped Xavier to set up the scene for him to propose to MC. Tara got confused as to why she and Jeremiah had to hide so far from the place the proposal was supposed to happen, and why she was given a pair of sunglasses.
.
That night residents in Linkon City are graced with a news report that states: No, the light beam that blasted the whole city that night did not come from a new type of Wanderer. Yes, the Hunter's Association has confirmed it won't attract Luminivores. Yes, there were three people who got hurt during that incident but they keep telling the reporter on site that it was nothing serious.
.
Ever since they were young, Caleb and MC have this tendency to say the exact same thing multiple times. It extends to the point of them syncing up their movements with one another (etc using the same hand to scratch an itch, having the same facial reaction, choosing the same option without the other knowing). It became a game between them and their childhood friends to see how far it can be tested. (yes, this is based of FuwaMoco's being in sync with each other and how kpop band tend to mimic their members' mannerisms)
.
Of course, post-Caleb's return, MC notices that they both kinda lost that thing. However, it is coming back, though, but gradually.
.
(this is my silly headcanon lmao) The reason why Simone reacted that way when she saw Caleb in MC's house is not fully because she didn't expect to see him there, but partially because she sensed his bionic arm due to her Evol. When she saw that there was no weapon around in MC's living room, Simone became wary of Caleb because she suspected that he is hiding a lethal weapon on him that MC doesn't know about.
.
because of the way his office is designed, Zayne's glasses does that anime glass thing. This did not escaped MC and she giggles to herself whenever it happened. Still unsure if Zayne realised this, tho.
.
(also my headcanon) When MC asked why Zayne likes to wear that black button up t-shirt so much, he said that it's because that was one of the first gifts she ever got for him
.
(no, seriously, I'm on my knees begging people to watch the official release PV of the game where we get snippets of the OG Trio, because MC and Zayne went shopping and she choose a black t-shirt and that might be why he likes that damn shirt so much)
.
(this is based of my own MC and myself) Thanks to Rafayel, MC picked up drawing again as a hobby, although she went for digital art and sometimes learn how to do certain stuff like color theory or anatomy or theme etc from observing him (or just Rafayel giving his own advice).
.
However, this comes with the side effect of both of them getting way too engrossed in their creative ventures. This dawned on Rafayel later on, who appointed himself as Miss Bodyguard's very own caretaker. Multiple nights, the seagulls witnessed the artist pulling a grumpy MC sitting on a wheeled office chair towards the bedroom whenever he realised that they will not sleep if they keep drawing.
.
Rafayel, probably: "Look, one of us has to be the responsible one every now and then, and my shift starts now."
.
(ngl Rafayel have my gratitude for pulling me out of my one year art block, hence why my very first LADS-related fan art is of him :3)
.
Speaking of seagulls, Rafayel once made MC and Thomas sat through a practice presentation a la Animal Planet documentary in preparation to give a speech in one of the upcoming art exhibition.
.
Thomas finds himself nursing a severe migraine while MC is trying her best to not fucking die of laughter when Rafayel is done.
anyway this is all that i have :D
#love and deepspace#monthly speaking privileges#long post#love and deepspace headcanon#i guess i'll put that tag? idk what to categorize this lmao#this goes under 'crack treated seriously' on ao3 tho#lnds#l&ds#sylus love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#caleb love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
just remembered i possess the power of free will 🎰🐇
#most of these r so old...those probably date all the way back to late 2023 to end of 2024 =x=)b#when it comes to faking rarepair content i begin working overtime. this should be a full time job#-_-)o idk which ones ive archived here already?oh well...#everything more is on my pinterest ... just thought the tag here could use some loving <-speaking as if im not the only who posts for it#the ao3 tag is so dry too....ouugh.... 7 fics n 4 of them r all mine....i'll make it 10 soon. i promise.#🍰.txt#my post#my edits#ensemble stars#enstars#rinnazu#nazurinne#rinne amagi#nazuna nito
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
"There's something else here, I just know it!"
Charlie clutches at her hair, frustration dripping as she stares down the two men before her. The others stand by the bar behind her, waiting to see how this interaction goes down. Vaggie stands by her side, her rock amidst the chaos, because she's just about had it with the two. They've met for barely a week, and yet they acted like they hated each other for decades. Each interaction conveyed a message laced with a bitter venom she could not understand, and she's just SO TIRED of all the secrets, especially ones that threatened to wreck the hotel every few hours!
"So what is it?! Why do you two hate each other so much??? You act like you've known each other for centuries and Im DONE with being kept in the dark!"
Her horns protrude, flames flaring from her hair as she levels the two with a glare. The demonic form has her girlfriend clutching tighter at her arm, and her friends backing up behind the bar.
The objects of her current irritation deflated a bit at her anger, though not without sneaking hate filled gazes at the other.
"Its nothing, Charl-"
"NO.", her voice reverberated across the walls. "Dad, I would normally not interfere with anyone's past, but not if that past hurts the hotel, hurts my people. Angel could have gotten so much more than a broken leg if I didn't step in."
Said spider flinches imperceptibly at the mention of his name. Even when he wasn't the one being scolded, Charlie could be terrifying when she wanted to be.
"You two have a past. What. Is. It."
Lucifer, for the first time since this started, visibly lost his composure, seeming at a lost for words.
"I- we.. W-we were-"
"Lovers..."
Silence, as everyone turned their gazes to the Radio Demon.
They...had to have misheard? Right?
But Alastor continued, turning his head away, smile and eyes unreadable.
"We were lovers."
Lucifer winces ever so slightly at the past tense, hurt(and guilt?) filling his eyes, before an irritated huff breaks out of his lips.
"I already told you, I-"
"It doesn't matter."
"It DOES! If you would just let me-!"
"It was all in the past, it matters not anymore, nor will it ever matter again. Apologies for the undesirable behavior, dear Charlotte, i'll try to keep damages to a minimum for the foreseeable future."
"Wait, Alastor-!"
But Alastor had already melted to the shadows, the King's black tipped claws clutching at thin air where he'd stood. His hands shook, closing into a fist as he tried to even his breathing. A frustrated sigh escaped his lips, dragging a hand down his face. Without another word, he too vanished in a swirl of red, leaving the residents of the hotel gaping at their absence.
Charlie- whose demon form long receded- stood processing what just happened. A hand made it way to her mouth, as she leaned into her girlfriend for support.
This...wasn't what she expected.
Its like she could start to see now; all the hurt buried behind each venomous gaze, all the regret laced with each bitter word. Something was broken, and they kept cutting themselves as they wielded each shard as its deadly weapon.
Oh hells, how was she supposed to fix this??
".......this is so worth getting my leg broken."
Husk turned a baleful, yet fond glare at the spider demon who chose to 'very subtly' break the silence that enveloped the room.
"What???? I live for the drama, sue me!"
#bloopnik writing#radioapple#appleradio#duckiedeer#when pride meets pride#idk if im gonna continue this#would be a nice character practice for when i write out my Angelic Alastor AU in the summer#brain had a sudden thought so i wrote it out as quickly as possible before it vanished#maybe I'll start posting on ao3 too but not so big on confidence lmaoo#idk just random inspiration#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin lucifer#lucifer morningstar#alastor hazbin#lucifer x alastor#alastor the radio demon#lucifer#charlie morningstar#angel dust#husker#husk#hazbin hotel fanfiction#fanfic#writing#writers on tumblr#fic#Spawn of the Sun AU
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's uncanny how much the FNAF lore actually makes sense if you look at it through the eyes of TMA
#i finally finished the outline for my crossovee au btw#the magnus archives#tma#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#maybe i'll share the document later#though i know people used to get really weird if theories clashed so maybe not#i'm already working on writing it though#i hope i can share it soon#maybe i'll just post little tidbits on here while I work on it#because it takes me soooo long now to write a complete story#i have a story i started working on in 2020 that i just now finished revising and posted it to ao3#but anyways enough rambling in the tags#im so excited about this au#fnaf x tma crossover#that'll be the tag for it whenever i post about it#or maybe just#fnaf x tma#idk#william afton#michael afton#jonathan sims#the stranger#the stranger tma#the slaughter#the slaughter tma
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
WIP wednesdaying again!!! this time xia fei is going through it <3 also pls ignore that it's technically thurs ok time got away from me

as always, excerpt also under the cut!
Proper goodbyes were too sentimental, he once thought: to linger was to give what they had too much focus and too much weight, so earnest he might trip up over the formalities, the see you later, or tomorrow, the I'll be going now, you rest well, I'll make sure to rest, I'll message when I'm home. The good night — good bye. I'll miss you, I love you, I'll see you soon. He mouths the words in his not-sleep, holding fistfuls of his linen sheets, trying not to tremble as his vision blurs, rendering the darkened silhouettes into misshapen creatures of the night, tears wetting his pillow case and trailing down his cheeks and salting his lips. He would give up just about anything to be sentimental now, so that must be part of why he turns the key in the lock of the door and slips in, as the sun sets and it's like he's tumbled into a picture from the past. Nothing much has changed -- Xia Fei's invaded Vein's place plenty of times and then been left to his own devices -- the silence is the same. But knowing it's not, not truthfully, is a carving in his heart, slow, steady and painful.
He hadn't actually taken the key, that day. Stubborn in his conviction that such a thing crossed a line of unprofessionalism he couldn't stomach for the moment, he placed them down on one of the low, glass coffee tables. But, it remained there, winking at Xia Fei when the light hit it, almost like a challenge. Finally, he gave in and swiped them after Vein had gone away on a business trip for three weeks, which had meant Xia Fei couldn't be let in to watch movies on his flatscreen TV, couldn't use Vein's bath and body wash, enveloped in his clean scent hidden under the smoky overtone, on his soft L-shaped sofa in his silk robe, indulging in these little luxuries. That was the only reason he swiped the keys, of course. Not because he missed Vein, wanted to crawl into his bed even if he wasn't in it -- wanted to be there, laid out for him in his clothes, his scent, his possession, for when Vein got back. A welcome home.
#link click#veifei#veinfei#xia fei#vein#wip wednesday#corner.txt#one day I'll have a coherent and consistent tagging system but not today#ive been so sporadic in my veifei posting recently rip#plus i keep forgetting to crosspost my ao3 fics on here.... might start an ao3 sideblog to keep track of my fics....idk#anyway enjoy whatever this is <3 ignore my semi related rambling#my writing
17 notes
·
View notes
Text

I'm really excited to finally share an ongoing project I've been writing for a couple months now! Good Genes has always been my favorite arc in 2003, and I wanted to find a way to work it into 2012's canon through an AU! It takes place during the arc where Karai is infected with a brain worm, and focuses on the conflicts around Donatello's (failed) attempts at finding a cure.
This fic is basically the 2012 version of "Adventures in Turtle Sitting"
Donatello ref
Monster ref
ALT covers
#randy art#Metamorphose AU#I also made a bunch of art for this that I'll post separately and prob link back to in a masterpost idk#never done this before#I did post a whole thread for this on twitter so if you recognize it from there hiii#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#donatello#ao3 fanfic#fan fiction#fanart
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
Swansuke and Jimsuke (or whatever it's called my bad) are hmm~ in a positive way for me. I've read some great fics on the first ship but for the second one... alas the content I would enjoy with them is sparse. Like, any relationship with Jim would be toxic it's just people either make Jimmy cartoonishly evil or Daisuke as stupid as a rock.
Actually yk I'll ramble here about Jimsuke. I would love to see their dynamic being like this: Daisuke would try to befriend Jim because he finds his standoffish and crude demeanor "kinda cool". Jimmy would be annoyed, maybe try to fend off this pesky intern until some situation happens and Daisuke shows same admiration he shows to Swansea towards Jim and it flips the switch in Jimmy's mind. The guy loves receiving control and validation, and Daisuke provides. On the other side Daisuke will absorb all the praise from Jimmy too and think it's awesome that he got to befriend him. Jimmy will quickly grow irritated when Daisuke mentions either Swansea or Curly and will isolate Daisuke from the both.
And since Daisuke is YOUNG, IMPRESSIONABLE and NAIVE (those traits don't equal to him being a child, man. He acts like a teen from the 80-00, the devs took inspiration from the older films), together with admiring Jimmy he would listen to him, to the point where Jimmy would coerce Daisuke for some sexy stuff.
I imagine it would be the same how Swansea taught Daisuke to "drink like a man" kind of situation. Of course with "no homo" from both sides, Daisuke would be nervous and blurt out some stupid comments or will try to "set the [romantic] mood" and Jim would be confused like "Wtf are you doing...?". Also Daisuke's hand and mouth game would be horrendous, it's cannon trust 🤞🤞
#gonna stop here because I high-key wanna write this as a fic#i need to check ao3 or i'll post it here#idk if anyone interested i'll still do it provided i won't lose that spark of inspiration#wait how do i tag jim and dai uhhhh#mouthwashing#jimsuke
28 notes
·
View notes