#idk im feeling all kinds of feelings rn

[lyekisses]

sometimes i’m like “pete doesn’t remember me he never thinks about me” other times i’m like “he literally visits me in my dreams”

[n0bluev]

Another, zzz

[definitelynotshouting]

You know what's insane about the Hunger AU. the fact that Grian is trying to die because he does not want to inflict pain upon his friends, but that's exactly the thing that's tormenting them. he's become so determined to stop himself that he's hurting them anyway, and it only gets worse the harder he tries. he doesn't want to be cruel but leading the Hermits on like this about the potions is cruel. he doesn't want to hurt them but seeing him half dead is hurting them. i am shaking like a dog

hunger au really is all about how suicidal ideation and mental illness can just twist your entire perspective into a knot.... like the objective reality is that he IS hurting his friends with this and he IS going to hurt them 10x more when it comes to the potions!!! but grian is so caught up in his own head and his hurt and his guilt that he cant see that or accept the cognitive dissonance that comes with acknowledging it. Its a genuinely tragic set of circumstances and being able to showcase the rapid spiral down followed by the slow crawl back up through recovery is so so so rewarding for me as a writer-- not least bc of reactions like these >:]

[fruityumbrella]

can never really stop thinking about the core difference between zoro's sacrifice at thriller bark vs the other major crew sacrifices (robin and sanji) but i can never really articulate it either like. idk. despite all three coming from a place of 'you mean so much to me that im willing to die in exchange for your safety', robin and sanji are both clearly acting under the influence of decades of self-worth issues and being told the world would be better off without them in it, and wanting to be useful in their final act, whereas zoro is...something else entirely.

it's in the way zoro's is an act of defiance right until the end, vs robin and sanji's capitulation. and thats not to say that their sacrifices were lesser or that they just 'gave up' or whatever. robin and sanji were both in awful situations where they were undoubtedly boxed in and had to make snap decisions, but there is something to be said for how they both feel like they have no choice but to shoulder the burden alone and in silence, without giving the crew even a chance to have a say. conversely, zoro makes the offer to kuma when every other avenue has been exhausted and the crew is totally out of commission (though they all made it explicitly clear theyd rather die themselves than hand over luffy).

there's something about luffy (and the crew)'s life being as important to zoro as his ambition, vs luffy (and the crew) being more important than robin/sanji's own lives. as in, the most important thing in zoros life has always been his goal, and he raises the crew to that same level (and luffy even higher) of value, which speaks volumes given his character, as opposed to the others who have never really learnt how to value themselves, thinking of themselves as the outsider that can be easily cast off for the greater good. like...bringing someone up to stand where you are vs pushing someone up above yourself yknow...

[clarabowmp3]

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[clowningcrows]

it’s crazy how much having a safe place to be yourself and express your identity and personality and interests, both online and irl, can change your will to live. honestly.

[bluerasbunny]

what if i started posting my other fandoms and my ocs even more

[puppyeared]

i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

[bunnihearted]

🏹

[radiation]

i can't get rocky horror picture show. i feel like for it to have appeal to you, it needed to have been formative media and a sexual awakening of sorts. watched it a couple years ago coming from 1. already being out of the closet for years, 2, knowing the reputation rhps has both with the transmisogyny and theater nerds. i was gonna approach it for what it was, and i hoped to at least find some appreciation as a pulp sci fi enjoyer. but what made the most disappointed in the end is that for its reputation, it was not nearly as weird or transgressive or as queer as other 70s movies i know of or have seen. i had already seen phantom of the paradise by that point so my expectations for weird rock operas were set much higher, and i expected more of the pulpiness that it promised. i can appreciate the acting, art direction, some of the music, and i can understand what it meant to people, but there are way better and more entertaining and weirder 70s movies out there. i watched it in a double feature with shock treatment and i liked shock better. if you want a better pulp sci fi sex comedy with questionable elements, watch flesh gordon (1974)

.

[savetheghost]

wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years

[donnyclaws]

I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

[macroglossus]

being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

[perilegs]

ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion

[homostacis]

that single tweet from johnny yong bosch is about to ruin my life until april cause before they had my curiosity but now they have my attention

[bright-and-burning]

it's not even 1pm but i'm giving up on working. i can do it tomorrow. it'll be fine!