pixesemma · 1 year ago
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I dreamt of my former best friend today and woke up crying. She froze me out of her life 2 years ago and I still don't understand why. I can take emotional distance from anything else yet this creeps up on me once in a while to ruin my day.
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tyrannuspitch · 6 months ago
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sometimes it really does feel like i'm undergoing some kind of second-hand queerplatonic experience simply by trying to engage with fandom while centring and prioritising a platonic relationship. i mean, no-one's actually being hostile to me or anything, but there is honestly a kind of pervasive feeling that i just Don't Fit. in my fandom, there are communities for romantic relationships, and there are communities for individual characters, but how do i find *my* people? if there ever was a way, it's long since died out, but honestly i suspect there wasn't. i think we've always been scattered. most ppl who engage are just dabbling, or vastly prefer one character over the other. this relationship is at least peripheral to the entire fandom's experience but ppl for whom it's actually the centre are. somehow. few and far between
#but idk this is actually a gen-heavy fandom (relatively speaking 😒) so maybe i'm making it up#and what i'm actually experiencing is just a super advanced stage of my conviction that no-one gets thor like i do lmao#anyway this is not me complaining abt the few ppl i DO know in this fandom. you're all cool!!#it's just me bashing my head against a wall bc sometimes it seems like the only ppl who love both my favourite characters equally#are inc*st shippers#and shipping them is in my humble opinion just one more way to spectacularly miss the point#sigh. idk. i am trying to be more zen and ignore them without trying to bite anyone#but it also does just make me sad sometimes bc like#okay i know this is going to sound presumptuous and pretentious and so on blah blah blah#but like. i do think that amatonormativity is a huge force behind that phenomenon#which also means i think a lot of them are just ppl who like both characters and are doing it in a 'well why not' kind of way#because they don't feel like adjusting or interrogating their framework for fictional relationships they care about#and they DO feel like being a little bit edgy#which. on some level. makes me feel like. at least a few of them could've been My Community.#but they've shut the door on me.#which i know is self-centred#and also uninformed bc i do my best never to see them at all so i genuinely have NO idea what's going on in their heads it could be anythin#but still. eurghhh. it's just rlly fucking lonely okay#microdosing arophobia every day by being a genficcer in a slashfic world.#you can take the man out of the aro community* but you can't take the aro community out of the man!!!#(*turns out i'm gay)
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bejeweledmp3 · 1 year ago
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so. when do i stop being sad lol
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teacupchimera · 2 years ago
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feeling kinda melancholy tonight lads
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harufluff · 1 year ago
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asking them to marry you on over the phone (unironically)
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warnings - cursing, but that should be it.
genre - crack, fluff, bf!enhypen x fem!reader, established relationship au
wc - 1.1k
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inspired by ‘you’re here that’s the thing’ by beabadoobee
yang jungwon
was stunned
actually thought he was having a heart attack for a second
he was doing something as simple as eating his gummies when you suddenly blurted out
"oh god- marry me."
man nearly choked on his gummy
more under the cut :))
"EXCUSE ME??"
if you were joking that was a bad idea cause he is fully prepared to marry you right that second >:(
either way, he's flattered
he thinks its honoring that you feel comfortable enough to say that
eventually you convince him to stop freaking out (it took way too long)
but even then, it still makes the heat rush to his face
thankfully it was just on facetime, so you couldn't see the red at the tips of his ears too much
he knows he's down bad fr 😋😋
lee heeseung
on the other hand mr i'm so confident on stage was like a little puddle
genuinely thought he heard you wrong at first
he was just sitting there zoning out for like two minutes and finally snapped out of it when he heard you say
"just marry me, you dork."
you thought it was funny lol 😎😎
probably should have thought that through cause you just messed up his heart with two words
"w-wait did you just- what did you say?!"
poor hee was so confused
"idk what did i say..."
"YOU SAID MARRY ME IDIOT"
"oh yea lol"
"FUCK YOU YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT"
he was a tad bit mad
just a little
literally walked over to your place so he could give you hugs and kisses 😤
park jay
he's been ready for this moment his entire life
literally got mad cause he wanted to say it
it ended with you having to beg him to stop talking
jay was cooking for the boys with you on facetime cause he was bored and everyone else would get in his way
so he gave you a call and you ended up staying on a call with him for over two hours
but the second he started tasting his food like the gourmet chef he is👌👌
suddenly he heard some of the best words he'll ever hear in his life
"ughhh- when we get married will you cook for me?"
poor baby whipped his head around so fast he almost broke it
"WHAT?? NOW?? BUT WERE ON THE PHONE AND- HEY YOU TOOK MY JOB I WAS SUPPOSED TO ASK YOU!!"
at this point you were staring at your phone with a blank stare
"what."
"you said marriage. you're stuck with me you can't leave me haha sucks for you."
"its ok i didnt want to anyway." 😊
whoops you just killed him with a smushy heart
sim jaehyun
he screamed
long story short, he almost fainted and quite literally did that "mrs rabbit has fainted" thing
the two of you were folding your own laundry together on facetime because, well, he gets lonely
obviously you said yes, because why wouldn't you??
"you look so cute and domestic, i love it. i could marry you this second if i could."
took him a couple of seconds
but eventually your words processed through his head and he SCREAMED
"THIS SECOND??"
"mhm!! you look cute." 😚
another puddle guess what you're the mop. come wipe up your jake puddle babe
he laid on the floor for a solid five minutes just processing.
anyway now hes at your house still a little jake puddle and he's making you watch movies with him on the couch.
park sunghoon
he was ready 🫡🫡
hoon got the phone and everything. he was ready to make the call to all the family
but obviously before that he took it a TINI TINY bit seriously
a tini tiny bit
basically it was morning and he was on tour so he was sad and alone (besides sunoo who was just offended that he even said that)
babe started drinking water until he heard
"i miss you a lot. when we get married, you're not aloud to do this to me."
spit water out of his mouth
it was kinda gross but did he care? no.
"MARRIED?? WHO SAID I WAS GETTING MARRIED TO YOU??"
he's a little mean when he's flustered ok?
"PARK SUNGHOON I'LL-"
"wait, you wanna get married to me? really??"
if you could slap him in the face you would, but truth is he was flattered.
he would marry you any day 💘💘
kim sunoo
also went along with it
you were going through all the snacks you found at the market with sunoo over facetime
to say the least he was just excited you were excited
"i got this thingy, and im not really sure what it is but it looks good."
the call went on with you eating the snacks and reviewing
"WAIT THIS IS SO GOOD SUN YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS SOMETIME."
"ill try it sometime then."
"we have to get it together and maybeeee you can buy it??"
"ill buy you any snacks you want, my love." 😋
"ugh marry me already."
SELF DESTRUCTION
"ANYTIME"
next time you go over to his place he had a little toilet paper boquet for you 😊😊
STOP I LOVE HIM
nishimura riki
my babe fr
another one who was a little too confident
you were on a ft with him late at night just for funsies
honestly the two of you were just messing around while eating snacks and making little crafts
anyway he was like quite literally about to fall asleep and he looked SO DAMN CUTE
like his eyes about to close and his lip is getting all pouty and UGH-
"night, ki"
"nooo i'm not asleep don't leave meeeee"
"lol you're so cute just marry me"
EYES ARE SHOT WIDE OPEN MAN HAS NEVER BEEN MORE AWAKE IN HIS LIFE
"married huh?? you're really that obsessed with me"
huh- OH WAIT THAT WAS A JOKE THO"
"NOT ANYMORE BABE IT'S REAL NOW"
aaaaaaand again you're stuck 😋😊
i literally love him sm
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©harufluff 2023
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blublublujk · 1 year ago
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i just fucked your girl (and she loved it)
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oneshot
word count: 11k
genre: established relationship (reader x namjoon), dark/morally gray characters and decisions
pairings: ghost hoseok x y/n and y/n x fiancé namjoon
summary:
A very lonely, horny ghost comes to haunt your dreams (and fulfills your every sexual desire).
warnings: oh my god get ready this is gonna get long. swearing, cheating?? (is it really cheating if he's dead? i'll let you decide), explicit sexual content; sexual "nightmares", unprotected vaginal sex AND anal (ITS TIME :D), rough sex, sub/dom dynamics, no safe word, submission, dirty talk, hoseok refers to people he comes across as victims (he doesn't force anyone i promise, not unless they want to ofc), masturbation, fingering, petplay? (the reader likes being called kitten), slight hand kink, slut shaming (oopsies), use of spit (oops again), use of lube, hickeys, lots of begging, hoseok's a bit mean but the ending will make it up a bit ISTG, namjoon's an innocent sweetheart, reader feels a lot of guilt, ass play (YAY), rimming (YAY pt2), mentions to gay sex and clown kink (you'll see), hoseok's like a ghost sex worker and the reader sorta manifests him, sex toys, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, spanking, come shot, blowjob, hair pulling, daddy kink, breast play, creampie, a bit of a sad/angsty ending, so sorry if anything is missing I RLLY TRIED
btw there's sex scenes between namjoon and the reader AND hoseok and the reader so they both get their share.
a.n: happy fucking halloween. sorry this got a little sad towards the end, but i hope you guys love it as much as i do. i think i'll live in this world for a while. i'm so obsessed with this probably, my favorite work yet. i think this is my smuttiest work too? idk. i was gonna delete like half of it because i hate myself sometimes but i figured you guys would enjoy something a little longer so i typed and typed until my lil heart desired and this beast was created. btw i finished this at exactly 6:13pm. i thought i'd let yall know, if anyone's as crazy as me :D im so curious what you guys think about this one so feel free to comment (only if you want too ofc ^.^) idk when i'll be back with something new but please be patient with me. i promise im not leaving lol i just get busy. OKIE THIS IS SO LONG SORRY AND ENJOY. byeee <3
p.s. i do plan to write an epilogue cuz this got crazy at the end. so much left unsaid. my brain is sooo... lol
—> m.list
—> welcome me on ao3 & twt
--
It was the same damn nightmare. 
For the past three weeks you had been waking up in coldsweat, heart nearly beating out of your chest, breathing so out of control. You could barely hold yourself up.
And still somehow, you woke up drenching your panties of your own slick arousal.
It was the same nightmare from yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that. You would end up in a dark, ominous apartment. It was yours, but somehow different. The apartment was pitch black, flashing red lights from time-to-time, as if someone in the building had pulled the emergency alarm. You would crumble in your bed, closing your eyes and praying it would end soon. That’s when he would appear. 
A man in all black, long dark tousled hair. His teeth were bright, you could tell by the smile on his face while he watched you wither away in your sheets. The glow in his dull, sharp eyes would shine even in the dark. 
He watched as you squirmed in your bed, feeling heavy, unable to stand by your own strength.
“Don’t force it, darling. Take what you need.” The stranger would say with a strong raspy tone, smelling your arousal fall into the sheets below your bottom. You were always bare in your nightmares as if you were waiting and submitting for him.
You couldn’t resist the feeling. At his call, your fingers would come to relieve the ache between your thighs. Playing with yourself as if you were alone, but it was far from the truth. He would watch as you pumped yourself two fingers deep, sighing and whimpering, satisfied that you no longer felt empty. 
Sometimes, well no most times, he would join you in your nightmares. He would tear your hands from your leaking cunt sparing mercy and you would complain against your sheets. The stranger wasn’t that bad, not for long at least, because he would fill you with his own two fingers, his eyes would dilate watching you fall apart. He was smooth and precise, he would curve his fingers, hitting your g-spot right on target, loving the sinful sounds you made as you arched your back and yelled moans without holding back. 
Once he was satisfied and right as you were about to explode, he would pull away, whipping his hard, swollen cock out of his pants and tugs on himself, forcing you to watch as he pleased himself . Of course you wanted it, but this was so wrong, very wrong. 
The worst part is he wouldn’t just give it to you, he would make you beg for it. “Talk to me baby, you want it?”
You would shake your head, denying him and trying to pull yourself from under him, but realistically it is all you wanted. You wanted to taste the beads that fell from the slit of his hard cock. He was fucking big and that itself made you go fucking insane, his hands wrapped around his length nicely. You tried to stop your thoughts from going any further, but your imagination was a powerful thing, thinking about how his pretty hands would feel wrapped around your throat instead of his dick. 
“Oh, you don’t? Maybe I’ll just leave you like this then.” He would say and it fucked with your head. 
That was the last thing you wanted. “But– m’ so empty.”
“Then beg for it slut, you don’t have to be empty and lonely for long.” His tongue was smooth and wet against your skin as he licked down your throat, sucking little marks onto your skin. He had you wrapped around his fucking fingers and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it. You wanted to move but at the same time, you wanted him to have his way with you. God can forgive you for this later. 
“I c-can’t.” 
“What a shame. I’ll just take care of myself and leave you here to watch.” He would start pumping his cock faster, tugging at the crown of his length. 
You made an agonizing sound of complaint. “Please.”
“Please what little kitten?” 
He was mean. So mean. 
And you were fucking stupid. 
“Please, f-fuck me.” You begged so sweetly.
The man would smile sinisterly before shoving himself deep inside you, forcing a scream of pleasure. He was not gentle in any way and you fucking liked that. As sick as it was.
He fucked you like his only mission was to make you come and drive you insane, pushing your legs far apart and brutally fucking deep into your walls.
He would watch you fall into your sheets, murmuring noncoherent words, completely submitting to the stranger you fell apart in his complete mercy. 
What an honor. 
“That's it baby. Squirt all over my dick.” His voice was always deep and you swore you could hear a smirk between his words. 
Like magic his words would rip intense orgasms out of you and he would fuck you through them all until you eventually collapsed unconscious.
You wake up in a gasp, the wet feeling between your legs nearly makes you gag. 
This can’t be. Not again.
“Baby, wake up.” A voice calls gently, soft hands soothe your back, patting and rubbing gently. “It’s just a nightmare, love. I’m here.”
“Joonie?”
“Yes baby. I’m here, go back to bed. I’ve got you.” His calm voice manages to settle the beating drum of your heart and still, this is the exact problem with these recurring nightmares. 
Even as your fiancé rubs circles into your back, all you can think of is the hands of that strange man that would fuck you into a delrious state. You hated it. It felt too close to cheating. 
If only Namjoon saw what your nightmares truly consisted of, he would be horrified and disgusted. Every night was worse, the guilt slowly started building in the pit of your stomach as you would daydream about the nightmare over and over and over. 
“You okay baby?” Namjoon’s voice was gentle, aware that your mind was somewhere else during dinner.
“I- yes.” But you weren’t okay. Not one bit. Flashbacks of the man in your nightmares would haunt your thoughts. These nightmares would play in your head like old memories.
His hooded eyes watching as you fucked yourself open. He would whisper things like, ‘that’s it kitten, so fucking wet all for me’ and ‘good kitten, nice and tight for me’. 
“Imagine what your fiancé would do if he saw the way you squirm in my hands. He could never fuck you the way I could, kitten. Isn't that right? Only I fuck you exactly the way you like it. My little submissive kitten.” 
“Please.” Begging is all you could muster to do in your dreams. You felt pathetic. You never wanted someone so bad. The guilt only grew stronger when you realized you were fucking addicted to your own dreams. You started chasing these nightmares. 
What was wrong with you? 
“Baby?” Namjoon called your attention once again, smiling apologetically. “You feeling okay? Your face is quite flushed.”
Your hands fall onto your face feeling the slight burn against your palms. “Sorry. I’m okay, just a little hot in here is all.” 
“It’s the end of October baby. It’s been really cold out. I’m surprised you aren't begging me to warm you up by now.” He tries to carry the conversation into a lighter, more casual matter. 
A nervous smile breaks out onto your lips, as you brush a piece of hair out of your face. “Must just be experiencing hot flashes. It happens when I’m a bit more stressed than usual.”
“Anything you wanna talk about? You know you can talk to me.” He’s sweet and present for you as usual. You feel your heart drop thkining about how this is what you are missing out on by feeding into those stupid fucking nightmares. Something had to change. 
Wake up, Y/N. 
“Yeah, I know babe. It’s nothing to worry about. Just work stuff.” You make an excuse for yourself and it seems to work, for now. 
“Mm, okay. Don’t be afraid to come to me for anything. I don’t want you suffering alone.” Your fiancé places a hand on top of yours, squeezing it softly. 
“Thank you, Joonie.” This time you give him a real smile, but the guilt still stays hidden deep inside you watching as he reciprocates the smile back at you.
“There’s my beautiful bride-to-be. Stop worrying so much baby. Maybe you should take some time off from work. You know sleep usually makes you feel better. It always has. My sleepy girl.” 
And there it goes and hits you all at once again. 
Guilt. So much guilt. Sleep doesn’t even feel enough these days. The nightmares make you feel as if you never rest. You are clearly aware that dreams aren’t real life, but you even wake up sore from them. It’s scary how realistic it all feels. Maybe that’s why this makes it worse for you. Everything feels too real.
“Yeah… I’ll think about it.” But you won't because time off means resting and resting means more sleep and more time for these nightmares to keep haunting you. It’s like you will never win. 
“Eat your dinner baby, it's getting cold.” 
—-
The daydreams continue even at work. 
“Let me see that perfect ass, kitten. Turn around for me.” 
It’s like he completely owns you, hypnotized by his voice. You immediately present for him, face down and ass up sitting so nicely. 
“Fuck kitten, look at you. Tell me, does that lame fiancé of yours ever play with this ass?” 
You whimper a ‘no’ feeling a glob of spit drip into your unused, virgin hole. His thumb caressing the wet ring of muscle, watching you clench around nothing.
“I’ll change that soon, kitten. Just how you like it.” 
Namjoon wasn’t necessarily opposed to butt stuff, the one time you mentioned it he briefly dismissed it. Granted, he was busy at the time with some work, and you were too embarrassed to bring it up again. 
It seems you got lucky nonetheless. 
The man blows hot air into your wet hole, his lips felt soft against your ass. He would leave a kiss here and there before his tongue peaked out and circled around your rim. 
“Yes, yes, yes.” You weren’t the most vocal sexual partner yet somehow, under his touch, you were the loudest. 
Moans fell dangerously loud from your lips as he would continue to fuck his tongue deep inside your ass. Stopping every few seconds to stare at your puffy rim, gaping around nothing. Fuck, what a sight for sore eyes you were. 
“Please.” 
“What baby?” His palm was heavy against your ass, watching it bounce back. 
“More.” You would beg. 
“Anything.” He would purr back. 
A thumb circled around the velvety muscle before pushing right in, fucking his thumb alongside spit that dripped from his mouth. 
Yes. Just how you like it.
“Y/N?” Your coworker brushes a hand against your shoulder. “You doing okay?” 
“Shit– yeah, my bad Yoona. I’ve just been feeling a bit sick lately, I think I’m coming down with a cold.” Which is a complete lie, but how do you tell your coworker you’re having wet daydreams about another man (who by the way only exists in your imagination) that isn’t your fiancé and that it is taking over every part of your life and that the guilt of it all sits heavy on your chest as days pass by and there is nothing you can do about it, but indulge in these dreams and practically live in them because you’ve become an addict. 
Yoona breathes out a light hum. “You don’t seem sick.” 
Fuck.
“Yeah… well it’s just starting, my throat feels dry and sore these days.”
“Maybe you should take a day off?” She suggests. 
“Yeah, maybe.” You agree just so she gets off your back. 
“You’ve been working a lot these days anyways. I’m sure Mr. Gyun wouldn’t mind if you called off. You’re one of his favorites anyways.” She laughs and you fake a smile. 
“Yeah, right. I’ll think about it. Let's just focus on work. We need this revised and sent off by Monday.” 
“Sure sure. But I’m being serious, take a day off or two, you look like you need it. You seem… tired?” She says, worrying by the sound of her tone. 
Because you know she will never let this go, you reassure her. “Yoona, I love you to death, but don’t worry too much, okay? I’ll take some time off if it gets worse. Thank you, really.”
“Alright, just looking after you Y/N. Your soon-to-be husband would kill me if I didn't.”
“I’ll tell him you’re doing a great job, now back to the transcripts…”
—-
You knew the night would eventually come. 
There was only so much you could ignore and forget. 
A sudden rush of heat wakes you from one of your nightmares, the jolt in your body scaring Namjoon awake beside you. You knew that he meant no trouble, but he gave you the face of ‘this again?’ and you could no longer push it aside. 
“Baby?” Namjoon’s voice is tired and filled with sleep, but he asks anyways while patting your back gently, as he always does when this happens like the sweet fiancé he is. “What happens in these dreams anyways?”
How do you tell your husband-to-be and boyfriend of seven years that you get completely ruined by another man in your sleep? 
Namjoon was far too sweet and innocent to get mad at you for this and you knew that. Yet the guilt never stopped you from feeling terribly about the situation. 
“You won’t be upset with me?” Your voice comes out as a whisper. 
Namjoon stands to turn on the nightlight by the bed before he lays back and wraps his strong arms around your waist. “Baby, look at me.”
With heavy eyes, you look back at your fiancé. 
His palm cradles your soft cheek, pushing a loose hair behind your ear. “I could never be upset with you, my love. It might help to talk your nightmares through. I’ll be right here with you baby.”
With shaking hands, you take a deep breath. “Well, I don’t know where they come from, but there’s this man in my dreams.” 
Namjoon raises a brow, doing his absolute best to understand you even while the clock reads in bold 3:44am. 
“This man, he’s dressed in all black. He— he has these dark eyes.” 
“Dark eyes?” 
“Yeah, he— his eyes are dark, sharp all around, it’s sinister.” 
“Okay. What happens?” He whispers, pulling you even closer into him, your hand falls into his chest for comfort.
“He— he…” You struggle finding the right words. 
Namjoon’s eyes go wide. “Baby, d-does he hurt you?”
No. Of course not. In fact, he does the opposite. The man pleases you until you can’t give him anymore and he leaves you with sore limbs and the burning stretch between your legs as a reminder of what he’s done to you and what he’s capable of. 
You quickly shake your head. “No but he- he touches me and does things to me.”
“Oh honey, why would I be mad at you about that? That’s completely unacceptable. Nobody should be touching you or doing things to you if you don't want it. I see now why this bothers—” 
“Joonie, I feel,” you start and swallow the awful feeling in your throat, “ I feel like… if I've been cheating on you.”
“Baby, I know you would never. They’re just nightmares after all. It’s not like you enjoy it baby.” This is what you mean by Namjoon’s too innocent and kind-hearted to see past the lines between your words. 
“But- I.”
“Wait… do you? Do you enjoy them?” Namjoon almost looks hurt to ask the question, but he’s quick to reassure you. “It’s okay baby, if you do.” 
“I do.” You whisper like it’s some dirty secret.
There’s a pregnant pause before Namjoon pulls you completely flush against his body, rubbing circles behind your back. “It’s okay baby, it's okay. They’re just nightmares. They mean nothing.” 
He kisses your hair for comfort and you let out a sob because they are much more than that to you and you know it. They are all you can think about. Shit, you think if you were given the chance, you would actually let that man have his way with you in real life. And it makes you feel disgusting because you know you enjoy this dynamic way too much.
At first, it was terrifying, you didn’t know the man and he, well he just became a weakness and you wanted him so bad, as much as you hated to admit it. Your imagination was a powerful tool. Why you and why with him? Why couldn’t your dreams be with Namjoon, your high school sweetheart?
“I’m so sorry, Joonie. For all these long nights. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The nightmares don’t stop, in fact they only feel longer and they get worse.” You cry into his chest. 
“I know honey, it’s not your fault. Just think of me whenever you feel this way, okay?” He pulls back, wiping your tears off with his sleeves. Your fiancé was so fucking sweet and that’s why you fell in love with him in the first place. He was never angry at you or disappointed. Namjoon was always patient with you and a complete sweetheart. God, you’re so fucking stupid. 
“And I’m not mad at you, okay? I never will be. Those nightmares mean nothing to me. I love you Y/N.” Your fiancé whispers into your hair, kissing the side of your face. 
Namjoon has always been way better than you because had you been in his shoes, you couldn’t phantom hearing about him enjoying the presence of another woman. He knew only one part of this story. Namjoon doesn’t know that you spend evenings, the time you have the house alone while he’s off at work, fucking yourself to this strange man’s voice in your head. That you open yourself up just how you do in your nightmares and you swear you hear his voice telling you to keep going. You swear you hear him calling your name asking you about how Namjoon would feel about this. Like if his whole purpose is to make you feel worse about the situation. He’s ruining your life and you’re letting him. You think you’ve given up and it’s just started.
“I- I love you too.” You reply.
Namjoon smiles apologetically, hands gentle against your skin. “Let’s sleep?”
You nod and he pulls you against his hard chest, rubbing your back while he attempts to lull you back to sleep. It eventually comes, but not before you wake to those dark eyes again and the nightmare continues. This time you don't even fight it. He fucks you until you feel yourself collapse and you swear nothing has ever felt better. 
The next morning Namjoon gently shakes you awake. “Good morning my love, you slept through your alarm. I figured you could take a day off so I called your boss to let him know you couldn’t come in today. I hope you don't mind.” 
“Joonie?” Your voice is the cutest in the mornings (according to Namjoon), he smiles watching you struggle to wake up. 
“Yes, my baby. I’m just getting ready to leave for work, but I wanted to say goodbye before I leave.”
Well, it’s not like you have a choice so you accept your fate. “Oh, okay. Thank you.”
“No problem, honey. You slept quite well. You didn’t even wake up this time! Did it help? Talking through it?” Again, Namjoon could be so clueless. 
The only reason you slept this well is because you were fucked into oblivion in your dream. As unbelievable as it may sound, you even felt sore down there. But he doesn’t have to know that, so he’ll just go off to work thinking that cuddles and his sweet words drifting you back to sleep actually worked. 
“Yeah… yeah it did. Thank you again. Have a nice day at work.” You say, still warmly tucked in bed. 
“I will, baby. ” He drops a peck into your cheek, smelling the fresh scent of his aftershave. “Call me if anything. See you later, my love.”
And like that you are left alone once again. The only thing that remains is the fluffy feeling of his plump lips buzzing against your cheek, a faint reminder that you are loved and have been for years, while you think about another man, one that only exists in your deepest darkest of dreams. 
—-
Hoseok doesn’t remember how it happened. All he knew is he was standing in a place unknown, sensing there was another being in the room with him. 
It's not his first time around a mortal human. No, in fact he had so much experience with lustful humans with all kinds of desires and wishes, but it has been quite long since he was manifested this strongly into someone’s dreams. 
His favorite part was watching them act as if they didn’t ask for it. Call for him. They would lie and say that they could never fuck a dead being. A ghost at that. As if they didn’t manifest him themselves. 
It's not like it was Hoseok’s fault for dying young and handsome and that now he tends to people’s guiltiest pleasures. It's not like he has anything better to do in the after-life. In reality, he’s doing people a grand fucking favor. The best thing about fucking a dead ghost is there’s absolutely no consequences, at least that’s what he always tells his victims. Unless you get addicted to one, then that’s really a personal problem. They can’t stay on mortal land forever, but for the time being Hoseok has become attached to his time here. Especially with his new little mortal toy. 
When he first heard the calling, he almost missed it. He was fucking another mortal, a man in his mid-twenties to be exact. The man had called for him in his dreams and he attended to his duty with pleasure. 
This man had a thing for clowns and Hoseok wasn’t no fucking clown, but he did his best to please him. His outfit was in all black (of course, it was his favorite color) and fit him quite well though it was different from his usual style, even down to the clown hat and all.
The guy would scream under Hoseok as he would pound into him like some fuck-doll and would have him come undone within minutes. He was so fucking easy to please. They always are.
When Hoseok came to you the first night. That’s how you found him. He still had the same outfit on (he was ripped from the last dream) and his hat had nearly fallen off in the process, but he was pleased when he came across his next victim. You were beautiful. 
“Who— who are you?” You screeched, covering yourself up, cheeks flushed. You had been doing unspeakable things to yourself in the dream. “What are you doing in my room?!”
Hoseok smiles. God, they always are the same. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to and don’t mind me, keep doing what you were doing before I had rudely interrupted.”
The stranger goes to sit by the vanity in your room, making himself extremely comfortable as if it is a regular Tuesday night for him. 
You try to stand and it's like something washes over you. The strange force pushes you back down and you have no choice but to take it. 
The man chuckles, throwing his hat aside. “Don’t hurt yourself trying. Just let your instincts guide you. Tell me what it is you want, this will all go much smoother and much faster.” 
The stranger in black winks and you feel disgusted (though your pussy doesn’t seem to agree with you).
Still you manage to say, “I want you to get out of my fucking room. I’m about to get married, you know and he’ll fucking kill you.” 
“Ohhh.” He purrs, standing as he walks across the room. He stops a couple steps from your bed and leans down to match your height. “But you asked for me to come, baby. So guess what? Now I am your problem.”
He pinches your nose, wrinkling his own in the process and flashes a charming smile. 
You swat his hand off you almost immediately. “I— I didn’t ask for anything. I don’t even know you and I don’t want to know you.” 
“Mm, but soon we’ll know each other very well. Let’s not fight this.” The man’s voice is silky and you could practically see the sinful desire in his eyes while they take in your naked figure. 
You have no idea what he even means by that, but right now you could care less. This is just a nightmare and soon enough, he will disappear and you will get to go back to doing what you were doing before he ever existed. 
“Leave me alone please.” 
The guy puts his hands up clearly coming and going in peace, while retreating back a few steps. “Whatever you say princess. I’ll be back when you’re ready.” 
And just like that the man disappeared into a black distorted shadow. 
He shows up only three nights later. 
This time he catches you on your knees, riding a dildo on your bed. You don’t even hear him until he’s in front of you. Your hips stop mid roll. Whimpering as you feel the tug on your hair.
“Seems you’re ready.” He rasps, having a strong grip on your hair forcing you to look up at him. 
“I— who the fuck are you? Seriously? What do you want with me? I know I’m dreaming and I can wake up any secomd so what the fuck do you want with me.” This time you don’t even entertain him. It’s clear this man has his own vulgar intentions, you wanna skip the small talk. He doesn’t seem like the type to give up until he gets exactly what he wants. 
“The better question is what do you want with me. You manifested me after all, darling.” 
Your eye twitches at the pet name, but you ignore it, for now. “But— I don't know you. How is that fucking possible?”
Even though he knows you won't understand it completely, he still answers truthfully. “I’m dead baby. Anything is possible.” 
Great, so you’re just supposed to believe this man is some ghost haunting you in your dreams. Perfect!
This time you don’t ignore his stupid use of pet names. “S-Stop calling me that.” 
“Oh?” The man pouts, and to be honest that does something to you. If the situation was different maybe you would admit he looks fucking sexy, even if he’s a menace. 
His brows furrow, his jawline clenching as he speaks. “Is there another pet name you like? We’re already getting farther than last time, princess.” 
You don’t even attempt to hold back the scoff, your eyes roll back. “No. I don’t— I didn't ask for you and I don’t want you bothering me anymore. Just please leave me alone. Please.”
The man groans, looking down at you with hooded eyes, the fist in your hair grips harder reminding you that he still had you under his control. “God, but you sound perfect begging. Are you sure of that, kitten?”
The man's voice drops in a sultry tone, nearling purring while he speaks. And somehow, that manages to slip a whine from your throat, nearly drooling at the sight. 
Your eyes immediately widen. “I— I didn't mean that.”
“Oh, so that’s what you like.” The man smiles, petting your head affectionately. You were fucked. “Of course you didn't. You were so close weren't you, kitten?” 
You shake your head, you’re unable to look away, but at the same time you want to throw his hands off you. You felt completely powerless under his gaze and you were liking it a lot more than you would like to admit. 
“Don’t bother lying to me princess, I can smell it. You were so fucking close.” He whines the last part, biting his bottom lip, he seems to breathe in the scent. “So fucking close. I’m sorry. I always join at the worst times, you can continue.” 
He offers like a fucking weirdo, pervert and still you disgustingly want it. 
“I said, don't call me that!” Your hand flies to his and forces it off you. 
“Then talk to me.” He’s rough, but firm with his tone. 
“No. I don’t- can't and I won't. Go bother someone else.” 
“I can’t. You asked for me and you brought me here. Now you have to deal with this.” He doesn't attempt to put his hands back on you, but he does let his gaze wander seeing as you still haven’t moved from your dildo. 
“This is bullshit. It’s just in my head anyways. If I close my eyes it’s like you aren’t even here. Now let me fucking come in peace.” Your eyes closed in the middle of your rant and he seemed to listen. Hoseok backs off, watching you from your wall to be exact, but he lets you take care of yourself. That’s what he’s there for after all. 
After a few seconds of calming yourself down and regaining your arousal, you slowly lift yourself up feeling the dildo pull against your walls and you drop yourself back down. 
Hoseok was right, you weren’t too far away from coming, but he messed up your pace and now you have to work yourself back up. 
It doesn’t take too long before you set a quick pace, fucking yourself onto the silicone length. 
Truly it wasn’t that you and Namjoon’s sex life was bad, in fact he was the best fuck of your life (not that you had much experience given he was your high school sweetheart) but after years of being together, things had changed, a lot. 
You don’t even remember the last time you guys got creative in bed, besides a few vibrators from time-to-time. It was starting to get boring and you didn't want to admit this to him, but you wanted so much more. It's like your body was begging for it. And you didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying it, so instead you kept it to yourself and the sexual frustration built up overtime making it impossible not to think about constantly. 
You gasp when you finally open your eyes to find the man watching you with heavy lidded eyes from your wall, he’s not even touching himself, but you can see he’s hard in his pants. 
He licks his lips as he watches you jump down on the dildo ferociously. Your eyes make contact and that's when everything seems to explode.
Moans start slipping from your lips and you feel the knot in your stomach start to build quickly. The silicone molds around your walls perfectly, feeling the tip brush against your sweet spot repeatedly, fisting the sheets below you. 
Hoseok’s nose seems to flare and he can practically taste your arousal in the air. He watches as you bounce on that useless dildo, wishing it was his cock instead. Your mouth falls open, drool nearly spilling while you feel the knot coming undone.
It isn’t long before Hoseok finally decides to speak and it does wonders. “Come, you fucking slut.”
Fuck.
On call, you come and he’s forced to watch you moan and writhe against your sheets, feeling the dildo slowly push out of you. 
He pushes himself off the wall and comes towards you and you feel too exhausted to push him away. You are laying in the middle of your bed now, dildo still between your legs but it’s fallen out. 
You feel as he pushes the dildo back inside you overstimulating your used hole as he fucks it into you deeply. You really, really shouldn't let this happen. You are going to be a married woman soon for fuck’s sake, but it all feels so fucking good- risky yet new, so you can’t help but to feed into temptation. 
Sadly, your body denies it, for now at least. “N-No I can't. Not anymore.”
His action comes to a halt. “I know. Maybe next time, kitty.” 
And he disappears once again. 
Disappointment and guilt builds all too quickly. 
Disappointed that he didn’t stay and fuck you until you passed out. And guilt that you just came in the eyes of another man and on his call. 
—-
As expected, you spend your whole day off thinking about the stranger. The way he looks at you, the way he bites his bottom lip while taking you in. The way he grips your hair and clenches his sharp, symmetrical jawline when he has you falling apart in his hands. You could feel his touch, it’s impossible you know, but it all feels too real and it all happens so fast. 
He had a name now. He told you in one of your dreams while he was taking you from behind. 
“Say my name kitten. Who’s fucking you this good? Fuck, what a sight from behind. You’re just perfect all around, aren’t you?” Hoseok’s hands grip onto your ass cheeks, fucking into your pussy brutally. He hasn’t stopped pounding into you and it’s already been ten minutes. Maybe more? Maybe less? You stopped counting. Good dick leaves you feeling stupid. 
“H-Hoseok.” You whimper into your pillow, you think you have officially lost your fucking mind. 
“What?” You swear you can hear the smirk on his lips. 
“Hoseok.” You’re louder this time, but your voice is muffled, face falling into your pillow. 
“Louder slut!” There’s a sting on your ass and he has a fistful of your hair, lifting your face from up the pillow while he continues to ram into you from behind. You realize you are so fucking close and he knows it too, you try to meet his strong thrusts, but it’s no use because it knocks the air from under you. He manages to hold you up with a strong grip. “Fuck, fuck. You’re so tight around me, kitty. You gonna come on my dick now like a good slut? Huh?” 
“Yes!” This time your voice is loud and you scream without holding back. “Hoseok! Hoseok! Oh, nghh… fuck, Hoseok!” 
His name falls from your lips over and over while you come on his cock, just like he asked of you. That satisfies him enough and he squirts his own orgasm all over your plump ass, watching you come down from your own afterglow.
You had come to the fucked conclusion that the only way to possibly fucking fix something like this (as sick as it may sound) is to fuck it away. You had to tell Namjoon, maybe experiment a bit more just so you can finally get this man out of your head. Regain your peace of mind. Namjoon would do anything you’d ask of him, you could assure that. You just had to find a way to tell him so he wouldn’t feel it was his fault or as if he was lacking. Or you could just not tell him. 
Either way you think fucking this away would help for the time being at least.
Sex is a very special and intimate practice and that’s genuinely how it always felt with Namjoon. He always took his time with you and fucked you slow and deep. 
Before, you will admit that it was nice and that’s why he attracted you so much but now, you don’t want it to be nice or slow. You want someone to play rough, break your limits, and touch you in places you haven’t been touched before. You want to be tossed around, fucked until you can’t speak any coherent sentences. Was that just too much to ask for? 
(Hoseok sure didn't think so.)
Right as you had finished cooking dinner, Namjoon made his way through the front door, setting his work bag down by the coat rack.  
“You’re cooking?” Namjoon asks, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in for a quick kiss. “Smells good.” 
“Yeah, I figured you deserved a nice meal to come home to. I didn’t have much else to do.” You swiftly kiss him back.
Namjoon pulls you in closer, arms holding you tightly. He still smells as fresh as he did when he first left. “I told you to rest, my love. You didn’t have to do anything.” 
“I know, I know. I really wanted to though. Let’s just eat, we'll talk after.” He nods and kisses your cheek once more. 
“Let's eat then.”
Namjoon decides a movie night is needed on a night like tonight. 
You were more clingy than usual (and of course, he loves it). So he puts on a random movie and allows you to cuddle him up to the fullest of your extent. 
“You’re so cuddly today, my love.” Namjoon whispers into your hair, mid-movie. 
“I just missed you is all.” And you really did, it's been long since you and Namjoon had an intimate night (maybe since these dreams started), you think it's finally time. 
He smiles rubbing his hand down your arm. “I missed you too honey.” 
You lift your head from his chest and lean in slowly, he immediately picks up on the drift and leans down to meet your lips. 
His lips are soft against yours, kissing you with gentle movements. His palm comes to rest on your cheek while you escalate the kiss. 
Your tongue comes up slowly and he lets you in quite easily. You take a hand and rake it down his chest, pulling yourself on his lap carefully. 
You start to slowly whine your hips, making it all too obvious about what you need and want. Namjoon follows along without complaints. 
“Do you wanna?” Namjoon asks, a bit breathless, bringing his forehead against yours. 
“Yes.” You whisper. “Yes, please.”
Namjoon smiles and steals one last kiss before he attempts to stand, thinking it would be best to move this to the bed, but you hold him down with a shove to his abdomen. 
“No. I want it, right here.” You say, finding yourself a little breathless yourself, you needed this. 
His eyes seem to widen for the moment, but he seems to agree and pulls you back in for a kiss, this time he lets his tongue push into your mouth further exploring. He tastes the sweet tang of red wine on your tongue and he groans into the kiss. 
You pull back only for a second as you get rid of your shirt and he starts to unbutton his own. Once the shirts are off, you tug your bra off freeing your breast and bring your lips back together with great force. 
Though he doesn’t complain, Namjoon is in shock. He hasn’t seen you this needy and desperate in years, he thinks? Or at least he doesn’t remember it like that. He lets you rut against his already hard member and kisses you with equal passion.
The next time he pulls away, he tugs on your leggings and he helps you out of them. Typically your panties come down with it, but you decide you’ll just push them aside. You return the offer by pushing his jeans down, including his briefs, his dick slaps against his stomach weighing heavy. 
Your mouth instantly waters, but right now you want him inside the rest will just have to come another time. 
Namjoon looks at you with so much love and admiration and for a minute, the guilt comes crashing down. You want him, you know you do so why is the guilt still there? Is it because even as you have your lover right where you want him all you can think about is how the stranger (Hoseok) from your dreams would have had you flipped onto the couch and had his way with you hours ago. Maybe he would have fucked you against the kitchen counter, defile the damn marble. Maybe he would have taken you right against your front door, like the slut you wanted to be for him. All you know for sure is he wouldn’t have let this much time pass. 
You shake your stupid thoughts away and look back up at your fiancé. This is where you want to be. Where you fucking belong. Without letting your imagination run wild, you rub yourself against Namjoon’s hard length, spreading your arousal all over him. 
“Fuck, you’re so wet baby.” He bites a moan back, feeling your warm juices, slicken his cock. 
You moan against his mouth when you feel the tip latch on to your hole, slowly sinking down on him. You feel his cock stretch your warm walls and he feels he could come already. It's just been so long (can anyone really blame him). 
You bring your hips up a bit before crashing back down feeling the burn on your tight heat. 
“So warm and tight baby.” His hands land on your hips, toying with the band of your panties. “Come here.”
Namjoon brings you flush against his chest slowing your movement, his lips crash into yours. The kiss feels much different from before. He doesn’t hold back, as soon as your tongue clashes with his, he sucks and bites it playfully. You groan into his mouth, accidentally squeezing harder against his length. 
“Fuck baby, just like that.” His dick twitches deeply against your velvety walls, you can tell he’s holding back. “I think I’ll come soon if you continue like this.”
Like hell, you’ll let him come now, you’ve barely had your fill. Without no desire to, you slowly slide off his dick, dropping knees first onto the cold floor below you. 
“Baby–” Namjoon starts, but you push his hands away as he tries to pull you back up.
“Let me do this, you’ll last longer.” He hesitates, but eventually surrenders, laying his hands aside. “Don’t be scared to use your hands, use my mouth, Joonie.”
Fuck. How could his own perfect, sweet wife-to-be sound this seductive? He hasn’t heard you talk this way since college. And it’s been years since that. He thought the years of young, hot sex were over but he’s been wrong all along. His fiancée was the sexiest woman in the world, that he was sure of. 
Namjoon’s hands find your hair and push you towards his glistening length. It’s already drying, shame, you thought, let’s keep it warm and wet. 
Wrapping hands around it, you take his cock into your mouth, sliding your tongue across the slit, hearing a raspy moan come from Namjoon’s throat. “That’s it baby, God your mouth feels incredible.”
The tip of his cock weighs heavy against your tongue. He’s breathing heavy, while he watches you take him in further. You warm his cock with your mouth just as nicely as when you were on top of him. 
Hollowing your cheeks, you take him as far as you could go, hearing his desperate grunts. Namjoon takes a grip of your hair (he’s still very gentle with it and you try not to be disappointed) and pushes you just a bit further, feeling your throat stretch around him. “F-Fuck baby. I really won’t last.” 
You tap his thigh and he immediately lets go when he sees your eyes water. You pull off with a pop to catch your breath. “I know.”
Your voice is raspy and it’s the sexiest thing Namjoon has ever heard. And you know exactly how to make this whole situation better. Sometimes, a little whiny purr in your voice is all that’s needed to get exactly what you need. “I just want you to come down my throat. Please, fuck my throat daddy.”
Now if Namjoon wasn’t sure he could bust before, he could definitely nut in your fist right in that instant. Yes, he has a daddy kink, sue him. 
“Come here.” Namjoon demands, doesn’t hesitate this time to tug you up a little harder and place you in his lap, before he shoves your back against the couch.
“W-What are you doing?” You ask, but the answer is pretty obvious when you see him line his cock up to your hole.
“Fucking you. I’m gonna come inside you. Don’t worry baby, I won’t stop fucking you until you are statisfied.” It’s like music to your ears, his hard member slaps against your clit before he slowly eases back inside you. 
Both moaning at the feeling, he lets you adjust for a few seconds, but you waste no time to wrap your legs around his hips and pull him close. 
“Please daddy, just fuck me.” You whine into his ear. 
This time Namjoon pulls back and right before he slides out, he slams back in, balls smacking into your ass. He fucks you just like that for a while. He’s fast but skilled, finding your sweet spot quite easily. It reminds you both of older times, when things were much easier, when you were both young and easily influenced.
You moan loudly into his neck, toes curling as he fucks his dick deep inside you. “Right there daddy, please don’t stop.”
Sweat starts forming on his forehead and his hair that had once been held back by gel begins sticking to skin. It isn’t a surprise to feel him thrust harder and faster, his tongue poking at his cheek as he concentrates. “Fuck baby, I really missed fucking you just like this. You feel so tight around me, look so fucking sexy, just like this baby.” 
You eat up his praise, biting your bottom lip as you feel the tight grip he has on your hips, drilling into you like he used to. Fuck, maybe you were right. This was exactly what you needed. There’s no Hoseok in your head right now. No unwanted thoughts in your mind. It’s just you and Namjoon. How it always should have been. 
A whimper falls between your lips and you feel Namjoon leaving hickey’s around your tits, covering them beautifully with his own little marks. 
Your legs start to shake around him, and warmth starts spreading through you quickly. “Daddy— I- I think I’m gonna fucking come.” 
Namjoon grunts, mouth around your nipple while he pulls off to speak. “Yeah baby? You wanna come?”
Yes. 
No.
Not really.
Preferably you would like him to control your fucking orgasm, flip you around, start pounding into you until you can’t hold yourself together but this will have to do. 
“Y-Yeah. I wanna come.” 
“Come sweetheart.” It’s not long before you moan sweetly through an orgasm, Namjoon fucks you through it as promised and you feel like you are levitating, he maintains sinful eye contact. His thrust starts to become sloppy and you feel the instant he lets go. 
“Inside daddy, inside.” With one final strong stroke, Namjoon comes deep inside you, his breathy moans feel hot against your ear. 
There’s a few minutes of heavy breathing, settling into the couch below you. Namjoon’s breaths follow close behind yours, arm tucked below your breasts, he lays behind you. 
“You were so wonderful my love, I’m sorry we don’t do that enough.” Namjoon breaks the silence, kissing the side of your head.
For the twentieth time that week, guilt falls heavy onto your chest. You didn’t deserve him, he didn’t deserve this. 
“No, don’t apologize Joonie. It’s my fault, really. I’ve just been… out of it. But I feel much better. All thanks to you. Thank you, thank you for everything you do for me and our home.” You start getting emotional, but you don't let your tone waver. You didn’t want him to know. 
“You know I’d do it all for you, my love” He whispers into your hair, kissing along the soft skin behind your neck. “I can’t wait to marry you baby.” 
There it is again, guilt. 
“I know, I know. Me either.”
“I love you.” He doesn't hesitate to remind you sweetly. 
It hurts to say it with all that is going through your mind, but you force a reply anyway. “I love you too.” 
Sleep comes over you quickly that night. 
Finally, you had fucked your sweet and loving fiancé and for once, your dreams don’t start off with you fucking yourself into an orgasm. 
In fact, you don’t dream, at least you don't recall. 
Hoseok immediately knows something is different when he arrives. He doesn’t smell arousal in the air, no this time he can tell you’ve been fucked. He can smell the come leftover deep inside your walls. He’s impressed to say the least. 
He watches your chest rise and fall, a small pout framing on your lips. You sleep beautifully, he thinks you will look even better after he’s done with you for today.
With careful steps, he makes his way to the end of your bed, you jerk your arm so suddenly in your sleep and he holds back a laugh. He’s quiet when he sits besides your sleeping head, gentle fingers run through your hair. 
“Mm.” You hum sweetly in your sleep, molding against his touch, thinking it was your husband-to-be playing with your hair like he normally does. 
Before you hear him say, “someone had a good night. Isn’t that right kitten?”
Your eyes widen, nearly jumping out of bed, but Hoseok’s hands stop you from moving. “It’s just me baby.”
“H-How?” Your voice is raspy with sleep. “You were supposed to be gone.”
Hoseok smiles wide, hand still caressing the back of your head. “Did you really think that would happen, kitten?”
“Yes.” 
“You let him fuck you.” He says like he knows for sure it's a fact. He doesn’t look too happy about it and your deafening silence answers his unspoken question. He pats your cheek. “Naughty kitty.” 
You gulp, his pretty hand wrapping around your throat as he asks the next question. “Did you like it?”
“Yes.” It’s not a lie and he knows it too. 
“Yeah? He fuck you better than me?” You gulp again.
“Yes.” No.
“Why do you lie to me, kitten?” His eyes flash red (they don’t), but the look he gives you is enough to warn you. Things are about to get serious so fast. “I know everything.”
You know that saying people say about fucking around and finding out. You were about to fuck around and find out real fucking fast that Hoseok doesn’t play with his toy. 
“Then what the fuck are you going to do about it, huh?” The only warning you get is Hoseok’s smile and then he’s fisting your hair tightly. Jawline clenched, watching as his eyes hood and darken. 
“Fuck yourself open, you slut.” He drops the grip on your hair and stands, serious look on his face, he’s not fucking around at all tonight. His hands are quick, tugging his belt off. “Make it quick.”
When he sees you still haven’t moved, a warning comes to you by a strong fistful of hair, shoving you so closely against his face. His breath hits yours, but your lips don’t touch, even though they are so fucking close. You’re tempted to steal a kiss from those soft looking lips, but you’ve acted up enough. “I said, fuck yourself open.”
He drops his grip, letting your head fall into the mattress. Hoseok’s voice is strong and demanding so you stop fucking around and pull the sheets off your body. His eyes fall on your breasts, they are covered in hickey’s freshly made by Namjoon and he tries not to let that affect him. But damn him, he wishes it was him instead. He knows you would never sleep unsatisfied. He would always make sure you slept fucked and sated. Even if that meant, falling asleep on his cock. 
There’s a slight burn when your finger finds its way to your pussy. Namjoon did a number on you, but it makes it easier to fuck yourself open. His come still settling deep inside you.
Hoseok has his shirt off now and he tugs his briefs and pants down all at once, his cock springs out, looking delicious as ever. You hear a dark chuckle behind you. “Uh-uh, wrong hole kitty, I’m fucking that ass tonight.” 
You whimper when his hand comes to stop your movements. 
“I’m not fucking that dirty hole. Turn around. I wanna see you from behind.” He’s not putting it up for question. You push yourself up on your knees and fall back against the bed, lifting your ass towards his direction. 
He curses behind you and smacks your ass. Leaving a red hand mark behind, it almost is as pretty as your face. “Fuck kitten, you really are pretty all around. Fuck that hole open for me.” 
You feel spit hit your hole and your index finger rubs his saliva around your rim. Your chest is heavy, this time for different reasons, you are completely breathless. 
You can’t see Hoseok, but you hear as he opens the drawer beside your bed, it’s where you kept all your toys and lube. You are a finger-deep inside your ass when you hear the lube cap open, Hoseok is kind enough to warm the lube a bit between his fingers before he rubs against your rim and finger. He lets a bit of the lube dribble down your ass cheeks. Hoseok likes it a bit messy and wet. He clicks it close and tosses it besides you. 
“My perfect submissive slut.” He whispers, hands settling on your ass as you finger yourself open with two fingers now, the burn hurts but it feels so damn good. Namjoon has never fucked your ass, but it has always been one of your sexual desires. Nothing could ever compare to an orgasm through anal and Hoseok has taught you a lot about that. 
Another glob of spit hits your rim and you feel him squeeze a finger in. The burn of three fingers tear through you, moaning into the sheets.  “Mm, fuck.” 
He grins watching you hold back moans, biting your lips hard. 
“Maybe I should punish you tonight.” He suggests, still fucking his finger in your ass alongside your own. “If you come like this I’ll let you suck my dick if I’m still feeling nice.”
You complain, turning around to face him, back still arched. “No… please, please Hoseok. F-Fuck me. Fuck my ass.” 
“No.” He’s cold like usual and you know he won’t budge so it's no use. 
“But I-I’ve been waiting patiently. I thought all day about you.” It almost sounds like a purr and Hoseok loves it, spanking the fat in your hips this time with an unoccupied hand. His finger is still deep inside your ass and doesn’t let down. 
“Yeah? Tell me about that.” He starts to jerk himself off in the process, the leftover lube in his fingers makes the slide easier, his tongue wets his lips while he maintains eye contact. 
Your cheeks are burning but you continue, “I thought about your huge cock splitting me open. Forcing me to take you e-even when I can’t anymore. I thought about you spitting into my messy hole like you always do. I thought about you fucking me open against the door. Even the kitchen counter. All day, I’ve missed you all day.”
This seems to satisfy him enough so he plays nice. “Turn over. On your back. Show me those tits.”
He pulls his finger out slowly and you miss it immediately but you listen, your own fingers slide out as you turn around for him. His knees hit the bed pulling your thighs apart as he falls between them, his arm falling beside your head. He’s still fisting his hard length, watching your tits rise and fall as you breathe. 
His tongue comes out and licks around your breasts purposely avoiding your nipple. “You let him mark you.” 
“He’s my husband-to-be.” You answer, holding back a moan when he sucks on your skin, gentle enough not to make any marks. “Of course, I did.” 
“Mm.” He hums into your skin, it vibrates and your pussy responds to this, leaking arousal into the sheets. “What else did you let him do, kitten?” 
“He fucked me.” You whisper, practically vibrating below him. 
“Oh I know that. I smell it.” He looks like he wants to laugh, but instead continues sucking around your other breast, giving both tits the attention they deserve. 
“Squeeze them together.” He orders and you listen quickly. His tongue slides and sucks between them, still avoiding your nipples and it drives you insane. You want to feel him. 
“Please.” Your voice is weak.
“Please what?” He asks, looking up dumbfounded, but he knows exactly what you want. He’s making you work for it. “Tell me kitten. What do you want?” 
“Y-Your mouth.” You struggle. 
“Where?” He breathes out, right on top of your nipple, tongue nearly sliding against it. 
“R-Right there.” Your eyes never move. 
You watch as he sticks his long, pink tongue out and very slowly licks your already hardened nipple. 
“Here?” He asks between his own breaths and you moan softly, sounding sweet against his ears.
“Yes.” You whisper-moan. 
He drops his cock, letting it hit your cunt while he starts to suck on your nipples like they deserve. There’s nothing sweet and gentle about this. It’s like he wants to replace Namjoon’s love bites and leave you with his own. 
He switches off onto the previous breast and his hand comes to play with your other breast while he attends to the new one. He licks and sucks harshly, bruising your tender skin. You writhe against him, pussy brushing along his cock, but his hand comes to halt your actions quickly with a strong grip on your hip. 
“Be good, slut.” Is all he says before he continues marking your breasts and you can’t do a single thing, but moan and whine underneath him, feeling empty. The memory of Namjoon is long forgotten. 
Once Hoseok is satisfied with his work. He grins and pulls away. He grabs the bottle of lube beside you and lathers his cock in it. “Should I fuck you now?”
You are quick to nod and you feel bubbly. 
Finally. 
“Yeah? You think you deserve it?” He tempts and teases, his lubed fingers touch your chin and you open with ease, taking all three fingers he offers you inside your mouth. You suck hard and watch him bite his lip.  
You moan around his fingers, his other hand gripping his slicken cock and you feel it catch around your rim. 
“Beg for it, slut.” He slides his fingers out, saliva drips down your chin, you probably look a mess but you don't even care anymore. The sinful desire and lust is ten times worse than any other feeling. 
“Please, Hoseok. Please.” You beg. “I’d do anything. Anything.” 
He sees red for two seconds and then he says. “Then keep your legs open for me. Try to stay awake. Don’t disappoint me this time, kitten.” 
There’s no warning for when he plunges his hard length inside your slicked rim. You know he won’t be going anywhere near your pussy, keeping his promise. You didn’t deserve it. You let someone else use your hole and now he’s punishing you. 
“Oh. My. God.” You moan, it fucking burns, but soon his thrusts turn into pleasure and his cock brushes your sweet spot. It’s like he’s known you all your life, knowing the exact way to tear you apart, piece by piece. 
“Ghost actually, not God, but I’ve met him. He’s not the sweet and forgiving man everyone mentions he is.” Hoseok says this all while buried deep between your ass cheeks and you would actually laugh about this if the situation was different, but instead you moan and clench around him feeling his balls slap faster against your ass. “That’s it kitten, lose your fucking mind.”
And that is exactly what you do.
Hoseok continues ramming his hips into yours for a few minutes, you aren’t speaking clearly anymore so he doesn’t understand a word you tell him, all he knows is that you must be feeling fucking ecstasy by the way you roll your eyes and yell moans. 
His hands grip your hips and he comes to a stop. “Face down. Ass up. I wanna see that ass while I pound it from behind.”
You don’t reply to him, but you seem to understand. With weak movements, you move and nearly fall face first into the bed, weak limbs. You don’t even have the strength to hold yourself together anymore. Hoseok is kind enough to help though, he places a pillow below your hips, just high enough so he can slide right back inside your tight ass. 
He hears your muffled moans against your bedsheets, watching you weakly grip them. 
“Such a nice ass. It’s a shame really.” Your ass bounces while he mounts you from behind, it’s fast but precise, hitting your walls just right at every harsh thrust. 
“W-What is?” He barely hears you reply. 
“That this ass isn’t played with enough and soon I’ll just be a fidget of your imagination. You’ll forget I ever existed and you’ll never, ever receive the sexual satifisation you deserve. But maybe, one day, when it’s your turn to go, you’ll meet me in the after-life and I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed this sweet ass.” The ghost’s voice almost sounds sad and you freeze. You don’t want this to end. No.
“T-Then don’t stop fucking me. Keep me here forever.” You whisper frantically, breath hot and heavy. 
“Oh trust me baby, I would if I could. For now, I won’t stop. Stay awake, kitten.” You don’t even notice you are falling unconscious, the stretch and burn of his cock is exhausting and your ass takes him greedily, but his words wake you. 
He grips the side of your hips, pressing his thumbs into your back as he sets a faster pace. Slamming and ramming his dick deep within you. The moans and gasps that slip from your mouth sound so pretty, God he really wishes it would never fucking end, but he feels you slipping between his hands already. 
What the fuck can he do? 
Hoseok is close himself, how could he not be? He’s been practically edging himself for hours and now that he has such a juicy ass at hand, with the most perfect woman he has ever seen, he could practically come inside your velvet walls right now. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You curse and moan below him, you tremple and shake, the knot inside your stomach is barely holding up. “‘M so close.”
He nods, forgets you can’t see him. He harshly tugs you around, still quite limp and weak between his arms. “Wanna see that face when you come on my cock.”
He plunges back inside, lips close to yours, but he doesn’t kiss you. And then you realize, he hasn’t kissed you. This entire time. He’s fucked you religiuosly for weeks on end and you don’t even know what those heart-shaped lips taste like against yours. Would they be as sweet as they look? Would he kiss you gently or would he be harsh and rough like the way he fucks? You wonder about it all at once and it makes you sad for a moment. You want a kiss. Why wouldn’t he kiss you? 
“Kiss me.” You breathe out, he’s grunting above your mouth still fucking you nice and deep. You are beyond positive you won’t be able to move your ass tomorrow but it’s worth it, it’s always worth it. 
He looks up and then looks back down, concentrating on his thrust, you moan but hold your ground. 
“Please. Kiss me.” You whisper, gasping when you feel the knot start to come undone. He knows you’re about to let go and this only drives him to bottom out faster and quicker. Skin smacking quickly against skin. Your asshole has been shaped and molded just for him. You’re loving every second of it, but he still hasn’t kissed you. 
Why?
Your arms weakly wrap around his shoulders, he breathes heavy and hot against your ear now. It’s messy, sweaty and his touch is usually rough, but it feels awfully gentle now. He’s still rough inside your soft walls, but something’s changed. 
“Hoseok.” You breathe, you’re so sad. 
He hums against your neck, avoiding your eyes. 
“Kiss me.” You plead again, he kissed your neck so softly, balls smacking harder and faster against your ass. “No, my lips.”
“Goodnight, kitten.” He whispers sounding sad into your ear before he lifts his face from your neck and those heart-shaped lips touch your softly, it’s almost sweet. You come undone as soon as you feel the touch of his magical lips and you swear you feel him come deep inside you.
It all disappears though. 
“Honey?” This time it's Namjoon, hand already around your waist. “You okay? Was it another nightmare?”
A tear falls down your face and Namjoon awes, bringing you into his warm embrace. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” 
Why are you crying? 
And where is Hoseok?
“I am too.” You simply say, crying harshly into his shoulder.
Hoseok watches the scene unfold from afar. He wishes you could feel the ache you’ve left him behind too and there isn’t a damn thing he could do but wait. 
“See you in the after-life kitten. There I’ll spoil you with all the kisses you deserve.”
You don’t hear him, but he knows he means well. Hoseok walks away permanently this time, he’s lost the feeling of his heart long ago, but he feels heavy-hearted and continues on his way to his next victim.  
Until next time.
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leondickrider · 1 year ago
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relationship headcanons | leon s kennedy x gn!reader
💭 . . . hiii, so i moved to this account from my old account @movedoopsie so this an updated version of both of my old relationship headcanons posts and nsfw post (with some new bonus headcanons hehe) (‘. • ᵕ •. `)
before reading: fluff, suggestive, nsfw marked, some are sad bc i love making leon suffer ₍ᐡ。っ ̫-。ᐡ₎ not proofread | warnings: cursing, substance abuse mentioned | wc 2.1k
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love with him kinda gives me and your mama by childish gambino but very much guns and roses by lana del rey 🎀
ONE THING I FORGOT TO MENTION IN MY ORIGINAL POSTS: television heaven by lana del rey is so re2make leon coded !!!! and maybe perhaps starry eyed... just maybe...
it's canon that he listens to rock (refer to re2r opening) but I'm sure he would listen to alternative and hip hop
btw, to the spotify playlist makers, he would never listen to mother mother he is quite literally born in the 70s
also i doubt he would actually listen to lana del rey, but if he did he would listen to ultraviolence ₍ᐢ.”⚇.”ᐢ₎
when he's frustrated, he'll mutter curses under his breath like it's so sexy and hot and pussy soddening or dick hardening (I don't have a dick idk how it works)
he loves when you wear long, flowy dresses or shirts, especially if they are in white. if you get it you get it
he would like white clothes on you since white typically represents like purity and cleanliness. and with all the stuff he's been through and it's just comforting
his favorite colors are blue and green tho
he's a good kisser 10/10
leon definitely replies with the driest things ever over text. like you could say "hey baby I love you <3 be careful at work" and he'll say "Ok love you." and he uses the period too
also replies with 👍, 👎, 😀 and 😍
when you are both going to sleep at the same time, he will scratch your back out of habit, even if he falls asleep you will feel his hand making circular motions on your back
he's the lightest sleeper ever. he wakes up if you shift in bed too fast, if you make any unusual sound, literally wakes up so easily and this leads to him being very sleepy :(
he would want 2 kids so they aren't lonely. he wouldn't ever want his kids to feel the loneliness he felt as an orphan
he's a girl dad but if he had a son then you already know that kid is going to be a carbon copy of his dad
sometimes he comes home really drunk and he leans all over you, kissing you all over and saying how much he loves you and stuff and then he cries and then falls asleep
when he goes fishing or hunting or camping he always drags you along for it even if you complain
he looks like he goes camping like every season as the vacation he so desperately asks for 24/7
he doesn't understand text abbreviations. he's like a victorian child. he says "LOL" and doesn't even know what it means. "leon I'm feeling really sick, bring me some soup please" "Ok LOL."
he also replies really slowly to texts sometimes, it's not even on purpose he is just has no clue how to iphone
during missions, he has those cute lil kitten sneezes (like in re4r) but at home this man forces them to be obnoxiously loud because it always makes you giggle
and his hearts melts a little every time you giggle. your laughter is like his favorite sound in the whole wide world
he gets home at unholy hours of the night usually, so he usually just goes to the bedroom, gives you a kiss on your forehead or cheek while you're asleep and takes a quick shower before sleeping
however on nights where you wait for him to get home he is taken by surprise when you fling yourself into his arms when he enters
when be walks in he'll be like "sono a casa..." really quietly
yeah he learned a little italian bc he's like a mafioso son basically so he decided "why not just learn italian and make my girlfriend swoon over it?" il mio king
he's incredibly insecure in relationships. he thinks you deserve better than him, somebody who can be there for you without fail and isn't heavily traumatized
when you're sick he will literally do everything for you, he doesn't let you do anything until you're better
even when you aren't sick he does everything, he justa bit more lenient
hero complex ofc, he loves being there to 'save you' even if it's just helping you get something off the top shelf or helping you zip up a dress or a shirt
always puts his bed by you in minecraft even tho he has no idea how to play :3
also, loves bear hugging you. but he also does those hugs where he lifts you up completely and spins you around a little
if you where in raccoon city with him he would do the spinning hug the second you were finally safe
when he's feeling really affectionate (usually when he's a lil tipsy) he'll tell you things like "sei tutto il mio mondo" and "sei la metà della mia mela" (this is so cute if you also love apples)
he's a heavyweight this man can handle his alcohol, so if you get drunk easy like me, then yea he's def got you covered
doesn't let anybody he doesn't trust near you when you're drunk
also, even when he's drunk he's very protective. he's actually more protective
he is really good at comforting you when you need it but often pushes you away when you need it :(
sometime he will disappear for long periods of times. and he cuts off all contact. but eventually you will get a call from somebody like chris, claire, etc. that leon was drinking and they were bringing him home
he goes through cycles of highs where he stops drinking and lows where he drinks excessively (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`)
sometimes he'll send you random selfies when he gets service or random texts like "Hi." and tbh it scared the shit out of you to just get a random Hi when he's in the middle of like the desert a few times
he isn't really good with physical affection, he'll give you awkward hugs and hold your hands but he's just very awkward in general so...
but if we're talking cute re2make leon then omfg hugs 24/7 he will not keep his hands off you
he isn't really into pda bc he's shy about it, he will hold your hand and maybe give you an awkward side hug but that's really it unless it's one of those special occasions lmfao
this is kind of random but when he's alone he likes to look at old pictures of you both and just reminisce on the past ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა
re2make leon the typa guy to play just dance with you
maybe re4make if he's in love enough (he is)
his style is actually really good so he ALWAYS looks so good next to you (refer to casual leon model) 🐩
he sings in the shower sometimes
he likes to take showers with you since it's relaxing when you wash his hair since you have like soft hands and not his big thick meaty manly leather beefy hands
falls asleep with light piano music and rain audios in the background 😭
his instagram is basically a fanpage for you. always appreciating you!! "My s/o took this." "Date night night with s/o." "Imagine not having the prettiest bestest amazingest s/o ever."
he and ada are mutuals, this is his revenge for ghosting him lol
takes you on picnic dates a lot
for people with periods, he is like so good with helping you woth getting tampons/pads, getting medicine, etc etc
his ideal house with you would be one of those stereotypical white american family suburb houses (he's so american i'll never let him live down calling luis 'lewis' 😭)
he pledge allegiance to the flag he is a PATRIOT🇺🇸
he spoils the hell out of you !!!! you look at a dress twice? magically in your closet the next day. you look at a pretty necklace that costs more than a car? he already got it
government paycheck
when he was 21 he dreamed of having a really normal life with you. a normal house, normal cars, 2 kids, a dog, all these other totally normal things
he does not get the normal life lol
nsfw
he is very territorial, he definitely marks you up in spots that are very visible and harder to hide
he isn't really picky about what lingerie you wear but if you wear white sets with little blue or pink ribbons then you got your work cut out for you
he's very romantic during sex. on anniversaries he'll even get rose petals and candles in you're into that kinda stuff lol
had to buy a whole different phone just for videos/photos of you both because his phone has a ton of work things and he didn't want to risk accidentally sending the wrong picture to the wrong person
when he gets back from missions that were very stressful and got him pent up then sex is way rougher than usual
he is definitely into worshipping your body. he'll tell you how beautiful you are and kiss every inch if your skin that he can
sometime he'll also say some italian things to you while you do the deed like "sei molto bella"
when he's horny he'll tell you "mi ecciti così tanto"
although, italian bedroom talk is kinda cringe sometimes so he usually sticks to english
he is definitely very experienced, he's been with several women, usually one night stands. but we do also know he had a girlfriend before resi 2 so there's that
he would prefer sex stays in the bedroom, or the house at least
he probably gets pleasure from making you get pleasure. like just from eating you out he will... yea
as i said before, territorial 😊
one of his sexual fantasies is fucking you while he's on a mission but he probably wouldn't want to take that risk bc like zombies
it's not rare to have quickies in the mornings
he's big like maybe 6 or 7 inches? he may not have a könig bulge but he's absolutely packing
dirty talk. says things like "y'like that princess?" "that feel good?" "i know you like it baby" "you feel so girl pretty girl" "look at me lovie" when you close ur eyes
man is a freak (refer to THAT clip from death island)
however, sex with him is usually really vanilla simply because he is too tired from all these missions to be doing all that
when it's not vanilla he's a switch simply bc I know it. he'll let you take the reins from time to time, but he is always the one in control if we're being fr
also i'm pretty sure he's top leaning because like... the shit he's been through?? he'd want a little control over something and having control in bed makes him feel really powerful
he still likes to bottom tho lol
he also calls u mommy or daddy or master or mistress if u a freaky freak lol
loves brat taming!!!!!
he likes to hold your hand while having sex
enjoys morning sex lots, especially the morning after he returns from a mission. he's too exhausted the night of returning, so he wakes up early and fucks you
love love loves missionary bc he gets to look at your face and he can just look down to see him yk thrusting (goodbye i hate this word)
i will say tho sometimes he will say the most outlandish things like "i wanna pump so many babies into you that we repopulate raccoon city" but it's ok bc it's leon
loves white sets on you (refer to 8)
sooo good with after care!!! if you need something he will do it or get it. want a snack? he's grabbing it. want a nice warm bubble bath? he's running the water and grabbing the soap for bubbles
spoils you with aftercare tbh.... after him you really cannot ever get better aftercare
very vocal, lots of whimpers and whines coming from him
really good with his hands, I mean look at the way he handles guns. i'm sure his hands come in handy in more ways than just flipping a gun around
amazing with his tongue and mouth as well 🎀
he love love loves when u sit on his face !!!
when you give him head he likes to rub your scalp and he makes the most attractive noises ever
he owns a couple toys. he def owns a vibrator and a pair of handcuffs
he probably has no preference to if you're shaved or not when he's older
but when he's younger he prefers it shaved or trimmed cuz he lives between your legs and it gets a bit annoying getting hair in his mouth 😭
(i'm sorry if all the nsfw seems aimed towards afab people, I literally have no idea how to write for amab but i'm trying to spoil everybody...)
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౨ৎ translations "sono a casa" i'm home; "il mio [re]" my king; "sei tutto il mio mondo" you are my whole world; "sei la metà della mia mela" you are half of my apple; "sei molto bella" you're very beautiful; "mi eciti così tanto" you're turning me on | please correct me if any of this is wrong since i rarely speak to my italian friends and family and i don't say these things to them. i had to research :)
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reblogs and replies appreciated always <3
leon kennedy masterlist
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codenamesazanka · 3 months ago
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thoughts on the chapter
“these differences, both internal and external, allow us to run towards other people and search for a point of intersection” kid out of 8 chapters you spoke like 5 sentences to Shigaraki. What intersection. (I know, I know - the crying child. the only thing Deku can care about.)
Aizawa and Mic visiting Shirakumo's grave
Compress reading Spinner's book with a sad smile...
Did villains just magically stop appearing? because AFO is gone? Because everyone is a bit nicer to each other? Because the rankings got expanded and now everyone wants to get the Eiyuu title?
Shoji says "This award goes to those who rose up 8 years ago." GEE SHOJI. I WONDER WHO IT WAS THAT GOT THEM TO SHOW UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I know he's thinking of the heteromorphs that stopped that day. But i just. can't get over the fact that it was Spinner's call to action that inspired them first to even come out.
"peacefully resolving prejudice-based incidents in the rural areas" Peacefully telling a man to put down the rake they're about to hit a heteromorph child with.
I know the intention is de-escalation or something. And that's a good thing! Ideally I don't want the man holding the rake to be smashed into the ground. I don't want the dumbasses spray painting slurs on a wall to be punched around. But the word peaceful here feels like it implies that... it would be victim's fault if they use force to resist violent discrimination. Equal responsibility on all parties and it's up to Shoji, it depends on Shoji to resolve it nonviolently. The originator of the violence doesn't enter the equation.
idk. rubs me the wrong way.
Did Shoji resolve the heteromorph riot peacefully? Not really. He fought Spinner (ah, you might say - well, Spinner was using violence! Shoji has to react to that with punching as well! Yeah. That's what I mean.) Koda had birds shoved someone off a building. What actually stopped everything was one rioter feeling doubts. It's credited to Shoji's words, but Shoji also admits that it's good they showed up and in the chapter here, he calls it an "uprising".
And they showed up because of Spinner.
Well. Maybe Shoji turned to "peaceful resolves" afterwards.
Just to clarify so that no one misunderstands me. Peaceful resolutions are good. I'm glad that's how Shoji is stopping anti-heteromorph incidents. What I dislike is the shallow framing.
"Quirk Counseling Expansion Project" EXPANSION???
Toga became the way she was because she didn't go to Quirk Counseling enough. Needed Expansion. The counselor saying she'll make Toga "nice and normal" didn't go far enough. Needed Expansion.
Again, I get that probably reform is implied in that, or the intent is probably expanding the concept/ideas/tools/methods/scope to include better methods. But wow.
All Might + Crowd of Supporter Statues is the creepiest thing I've ever seen.
Story literally breaking the ending fourth wall to give a happy ending to Deku.
I expect the volume extras to have Shigaraki to come and decay the ending and rescue the league.
It's amazing how the answer to "can someone quirkless be a hero" is a NO. Because Deku's feeling sad and lonely being quirkless and just a teacher and saving a kid from tripping and encouraging a future student. It's not enough. It's not Heroism. So he gets a support item and gets to be a Hero again
And then Shigaraki's Star Wars ghost is just there, not tied into the theme happening on page because Deku failed to saved the fucking guy, but he remembers Shigaraki. for one panel.
Just to repeat this because it's hysterical: This ending is "Can a quirkless person be a hero (and be happy and feel worthy?)" We get a gentle bittersweet but resounding NO. Until All Might comes again to help him out with a 'gift'.
"Remember that day when I used support items to inject acid into an immortal child demon on global TV? The day that you killed a man? Well, data from that day made you this support item. Use it to be a Hero."
Also being a quirkless Hero after all depends on knowing people and having lots of money.
All Might is now about 64 years old.
Shigaraki ghost...........
Something about shigaraki in his original outfit has me all choked up.
That's the appearance he chose to present as in the vestige realm before he disappeared.
The appearance he had in that flashback of him and Spinner bonding over games.
I like how Deku looks back, sees the ghost, but then turns forward and smile. Not even a smile as he's looking at shigaraki. I know this is nitpicky. jfc tho.
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"You already destroyed it"/"That depends on what you guys do from now on." I see that there's barely any credit to Shigaraki forcing this amount of change in this chapter. As far as I can see, Deku barely thinks about Shigaraki or even Tenko this chapter. Shigaraki's just a ghost hidden vaguely in all this.
"I'll never forget" lol. The ghost is just like an afterthought from the story to make sure Deku keeps his 'promise'
I don't think a single villain's name is mentioned here. Not a single League member's. Uravity's work towards quirk counseling is not publicly or explicitly credited to her experience with Toga (the vaguest of implication). We don't know Dabi's fate and Shouto is only known as "Endeavor's son" - which might be good? because it's Endeavor's who was the main perpetrator, but still. Spinner lead the uprising but Shoji doesn't mention that. Spinner wrote his book but there's no impact, except for making Compress smile sadly and that's it. Twice has been long forgotten. Deku thinks of Shigaraki's words at the beginning of the chapter, then sees his ghost at the end, but otherwise, nothing.
Truly they've been swept under the rug. A lid put over everything.
Whatever!!!! Shigaraki and the League - the absolute best part of bnha.
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 5 months ago
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pt II sandman but i've never watched or read it
It's happening again I'm being kidnapped again there's no hope left for me god I'm so in love with Dream he's such a cutiepie uh right this post okay. I'm uh the Good Omens Mascot and I'm losing my mind here have part two based on whatever I have understood from y'all's replies to my first post.
It's Neil's baby and a lot of amazing artists are involved. One of whom made Dream look like a gooey pile of sad adorableness in volume 1.
Dream is a sad wet lonely repressed cat of a man. No I do not have one type.
There's this dude whom I think is named the Corinthian. He's a dream (but not Dream) and he can see things.
His eyes are mouths and his teeth are apparently Very White and any dental hygienist would orgasm at the sight.
Dream was kept prisoner for a century. Where? I don't fucking know. Why? I don't fucking know. How? Er there was some kind of. Glass (?) case.
There's a sleeping sickness while he's gone coz things got weird.
His raven is killed by someone and maybe he should have forgiven him but he could not.
Something happens at the end of Volume 7 that people need to recover from.
There's someone with glasses who keeps telling Dream stuff and they're Very Important and I have no fucking clue who they are.
There's someone named Freddie and people are feral for him and I don't know who he is.
Dream is just constantly on the verge of tears. Always. Just fucking always. Poor baby.
Sandman more like Sadman amirite.
He thinks everything ever is his fault. Mood.
EVERYONE KEEPS REASSURING ME THERE IS NO CANONICAL INCEST BUT APPARENTLY BOTH DREAM AND DESIRE HAVE SEXUAL TENSION WITH EVERYONE INCLUDING THEIR FAMILY AND EACH OTHER AND THEY ARE SIBLINGS AND AAAAAAAAA.
The family is Endless btw and I don't know what that means but they are.
Dream has a boyfriend (long distance? idk they keep meeting each other every 100 years) named after a cooking stove who calls Dream out for being lonely and Dream doesn't like that and they fight and then they go into the rain etc etc.
Hob is immortal because he does not want to die and he is convinced that humans only die because they uh think there's no other option. It's giving just think positive thoughts.
Dream almost stands him up but then doesn't some bar is moved.
There are keys to Hell and Dream doesn't know what to do with them.
There are tools and they make you weak.
Desire has all the genders.
I am apparently exactly like Delirium.
Dream is a sad wet cat at one point and then he turns into a shadowy being with cute bright eyes.
Dream is fucking pretty in every single fucking century like oh my fuckING GOD I AM SO GAY
Tom Sturridge (?) is Dream's actor and he has chemistry with everyone on screen apparently which leads to incest vibes
There's some kind of fucking Grape Incest scene
Despair is played by Mrs Sandwich
Death is kind and cuddles a dead baby at one point
It's gay but I do not know HOW it is gay but I am assured it is Gay
Er. Feel free to correct me.
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fuumiku · 7 months ago
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Selkie AU
Ok so on discord we went off. A lot of this is just paraphrasing or copy pasted from buddies hii guys. It’s honestly a fun concept to play with no matter how you turn it around~ I’ll start off with the version I drew these doodles for but it’s all under the cut because it got so long... There’s also always place for different flavors like if they realize the other’s a selkie immediately or over time, etc etc so this is all just food for thought. Marcille is always the instigator though lol, obsessed with him no matter the universe. As a selkie wants to learn more about this human and as a researcher is chasing after this secretive mysterious sea-guy while he very much tries to escape everyone’s attention.
Fisherman Chil & selkie Marcille
Old sad fisherman Chilchuck… He drinks out at sea even. Divorcee dad who’s got nothing waiting for him on land anymore. He’s on the sea every day to get fish to sell at the wet market or to the butcher, the sky and sea’s grey and everything’s dull and tedious. Seals are nothing special either. The only stuff he knows about selkies really could have some selkie storybooks he reads to his daughters. Meanwhile selkie Marcille… You could go a lot of different routes I feel. You know I feel like being a selkie fits with Marcille and her mom, with that interaction of "you’ll have to let others go and deal with that", like in this AU she’ll always be different and will have to leave people behind for the sea eventually here and there and whatnot…
Chilchuck and worksongs... Fisherman Chilchuck singing sea shanties while selkie Marcille sings her songs of the sea and then she hears him and gets curious and follows him back on land or something…… Tries to blend in with humans just so she’s like. What’s his deal. But them only meeting out at sea is very cute as well. Eventually she gets on his boat and they hang out. Melancholic psychological horror sea tragedy-romance would be fun idk. Maybe he starts hearing a woman sing out at sea randomly and thinks it’s the alcohol. But he’d be a goner already lmao. Like don’t get me wrong it’d take a while of actual interactions for him to actually fall in love, but also ~~he’s lonely~~ pretty blonde woman waaaa. Siren imagery hehe. "Hmmm I didn't know selkies had hypnotic voices as well" (they don't. he's down outrageous and he knows it.) Mr "in denial so bad maybe magic is the answer yep for sure". I want her to hear him singing something he used to for his daughters/wife etc and shes like 👁️👁️ who hurt this man........... (Could also work for selkie Chil) What’s his tragic backstory…..
I think marcille also deserves to go silly and catch a carp between her teeth, giving it to chilchuck batting her eyelashes like teehee... I'm such a good assistant right... He needs them undamaged if he wants to sell them but he still makes use of her gift anyway... Puts it in a stew and shares it with her... Something we made together..… Marcille being able to taste human food with actual spices and actual heat and actual cooked meat... His home is the warmest place on the surface. His hugs are more comforting than even the water’s. AGH and how long hasn’t he eaten a real homecooked meal you’d bet 😭 Marcille notices he’s underweight and is like "he’s always fishing though??? Does he just need like, a lot??" and takes it upon herself to bring him more fish to feed him. "He NEEDS to blubber up. I know it." Do you think when his wife was still there he'd come home to the smell of cooking.... but now there's nothing......... He’s on his own, he sleeps in the boat… It just smell like fish all day. The stench gets to him and even the burn of alcohol in his nostrils is a kinder hell. NOW he comes back to the stench of roting flesh and he's like :))) ahh.... my gi rl firned 💖 /j
Selkie Marcille getting onto his boat out of nowhere and slapping the beer bottle out of his hand. It’d go hard if he’s so drunk once that he’s leaning over the railing with his bottle hanging down from his grip and the beer goes into the sea and she tastes it and is like. Now what the fuck is this. Ew. He doesn’t look so good maybe I should splash him with water. She could save him from drowning... Girl who puts him on a rock somewhere until he wakes up and hides in the water as soon as he comes to… Peekinh at him from the surface of the water because, oh dear we're shy now because it's face to face… Drawing parallels between swaying (drunk) and swaying (motion of boat on the sea). She sways his world…… Makes him feel dizzy in a nice, light airy way…… He crashes into his bed in his home and still feels the rocking of the waves under him, and he falls asleep thinking of her…
Go out to the sea in a storm because you can’t stand feeling useless. The sea is your livelihood, it's where you're good and useful. On land you never know what to do with your hands. Maybe he should just let the sea pull him under. let it sweep him away.  Marcille does exactly that, but it's not something that erases him. It's not something that swallows him whole. It's something that shows him a whole other world- The coral reefs, the schools of fish that exist below, the lush seaweed forests that Marcille treasures so much. It's all been there for him to see, theres so much beneath his feet. And all he had to do was let her take his hand. This world full of fish and creatures he's caught and gutted... that he gets to see in a different light…… The idea of him trusting her enough to let her lead him underwater... I think the time that Marcille leads him into the water should be on one beautiful evening, with the water shimmering, and the sun casting rays onto the waters surface- enough that it's still scary at first, enough that Chilchuck still struggles against the salty grasp of the waves, but when marcille takes him under he can see just how the light of the sun casts its spotlight on the seafloor- and how even in the shallows therein lies a thousand wonders, ones he's stepped right over before. I'm just obsessed with chilchuck experiencing a whole nother world in there. Give me childlike wonder. Give me a Marcille who wants to show her grump fucking fisherman boyfriend the cute fishies and the minnows, the pretty hermit crabs. Something about the sea looking different from beneath the waves... The parallels of him on the beach stepping over shells and urchins in the shallows with his boots and just crush them right over, not even noticing he did from force of habit and routine having dulled everything… Him working on the sea all the time but never really seeing it because he’s so absorbed in his own shit and he always just uses the harbor so there’s never real contact with it anyways. When the sea water laps at his forearms when he reels the net in but they feel like lashes of frost against his skin. She'd look really pretty with her hair flowy in the waves............ Marcille’s hair should get used for creepy compositions more… In the water she takes him under and her hair tangles and latch onto him against his skin. Her hair is long, underwater it could engulf him probably, he likes blonde hair he'd be happy with that… Not the lowkey suicidal ideation of letting the sea take him and how he’d be happy suffocating in her hair when doing a dive wow ok
I keep thinking about the Dredge AU… The video game yes yes. It’d be a mess but ohhh ohh the sea and its wonderful world but also its dark secrets, Marcille researching the depths and finding dark powers and idk the tragedy of a man at sea who can’t forget what he’s lost and the mythical gf he made that was never meant to be and it’ll destroy them both idk idk. Bc of Marcille helping him fish from below as a selkie, Senshi like YOU ARE OVERFISHING YOU ARE DESTROYING THE ECOSYSTEMMM @ them lmao You are feeding the whole town and making big bucks but you’re fishing so much that some fish are starting to get stale without being bought, the sea is bleeding and the leviathan is hungry
Maybe one time, one of them gets upset at the other and holds the seal fur hostage, its sooo mean but it also feels very them. When I think selkie I think of the movie Song of the Sea and in that movie the father of the protags loved a selkie, the mother, but she had to leave at one point for the sea because that’s her nature etc etc, but he didn’t want her to leave so he hid her skin which like. Ruined everything and hurt her. And ohhh the parallels… Leaving him… Just food for thought.
Selkie Chil & marine researcher Marcille
The reverse of that where Chil’s the selkie, Marcille’s fascination for him has the reverse angle, almost like admiration too. Crying she’d be like "who’s this mysterious guy, why’s he look kinda ethereal(selkie fairy blablabla)?" and investigates meanwhile he doesn’t want anyone to see him transforming and such so he’s like "leave me aloneeeeeee!!" Selkie chil? secretive man who just wants to chill gets grabbed by the most enthusiastic fairytale-obsessed girl out there. She WILL almost drown trying to say hi. C’mon mister mythical let’s have a storybook romance <3 Jumping in da water and he has to rescue her and immediately gains 100 grey hairs. She gets her storybook ‘saved by the merman’ moment but at what cost. "WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGG" screaming, she gets scolded very much but it all goes in one ear out the other tbh. Selkie Chilchuck is even better with his secretiveness... How do you get around the fact you’re a seal? Iunno I’ve never been a seal Obsessed with the implications of his family in this. Except if his wife and daughters were humans and so his work travels are instead selkie shenanigans going out at sea for months on ends, I imagine they’d be selkies too… Did they get separated? Die? Is Chilchuck’s cowl in this one Flertom’s fur? :(   Once more mentioning sea shanties Chilchuck btw, Roll the Old Chariot comes to mind… Ooough Song of the Sea from the movie that he sung to his daughters <33 I’m fine
With the researcher angle actually being pushed there are interesting plots and scenes you could think of obvi, but uh we kind of went off on the fisherman Chil Marcille selkie AU instead haha. It’d be cute if she ends up teaching him how to live on land in the end. Dresses him up like a funky lil guy. I went with tallman Chil when drawing it and selkie Marcille’s more elf-like, and for selkie Chil I’d imagine it’s the reverse where she’s tallman-like and he still looks like a halfling… Sea-related AUs are my weak spot <33
No matter how you turn it, Marcille is the instigator lol. Selkie Marcille: this little man… I want to know more about this human! Selkie Chilchuck = tries to avoid everything but this Marcille keeps chasing him! It’s her job to, Chilchuck minds his business!! He sees a sliver of something weird out at night? Not his job nope keep your nose out of that it’ll only bring you trouble. It’d have to really itch him at him for him to crack I think… Honestly he’d make a great lovecraftian horror protagonist lol. We love a girl with no chill and her nose in everyone’s business
Shout to to @dayundying, @cabinette, @soappox and @lucky-fydraws!! These people were there for the brainstorming and the writing of the scripture…
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lokiisdaddyblog · 7 months ago
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𝐌𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏
𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 |
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐟𝐚𝐥���𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐥𝐟𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐦.
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*Probably will make this a multi part thing but idk I’ll see how it goes🙃*
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You finished plaiting the last braid in your hair before continuing your peaceful stroll along the rushing river in the queens gardens.
You had been welcomed most warmly that dawn by the king and queen of Asgard, but as the princes were on a mission fighting in another realm, you were still yet to meet them.
As a light elf, you had the most radiant spirit and connected deeply with nature. You were a princess, yes, but that wasn’t always what you prioritised. You generally never dressed like one and you never cared for the politics of it all. One of the main reasons you were here now, on Asgard.
After your mother's passing, your father believed that if you spent time around this royal family, that ‘perhaps you’ll learn the proper manners of a princess’, as he had said.
You scoff at the memory. It may have only be recent, but, life hasn't been the same since your mother died. Your father is cold and distant. Life is lonely and dull.
Hour pass as you remain in the gardens, surrounded by animals and natural beauty. So lost in your own train of thought, you don’t even notice that someone has entered your presence.
“I do not believe that maids are allowed unaccompanied in the queens gardens.” The smooth voice snaps your from your trance and you turn to look over your shoulder.
You recognise the man standing before you immediately. Maid...really? Prince Loki; tall, dark, and handsome as ever. Does he really not realise who you are?
You cock your head to the side. “Oh, right. My apologies…my prince.” You bow your head slightly and he raises a brow as you stifle a giggle and run off back to the palace entrance. You decide to reside in your room reading, until dinner time.
----
"My boys. You both look rather dashing." Frigga's soft voice floats throughout the currently empty dining hall.
"Why thank you, mother." Thor replies as Loki smiles silently in response.
"So where is this.. princess.. that is going to be staying with us?" Loki asks, trying his best to hide his intrigue. His current thoughts were solely that of the princess and mysterious 'maid' he had found in the garden earlier that day that he had never seen before.
"Coming right now, and be nice to her, please. She has just lost her mother. She is delicate." Her voice is soft and there's a sadness to it. Your mother was, after all, one of Frigga's closest friends.
The guards open the doors to the dining hall. Meekly, you walk in and bow in front of the royal family before you.
"Rise, child." Odin's voice booms and you flinch slightly.
Frigga smiles fondly and gestures for you to come over. You slowly approach, curls in your hair bouncing slightly as you hold your beautiful, long, flowing dress.
"How are you, my dear?" Frigga asks as she holds your hands in hers.
You hesitate. "I'm okay, your highness."
"Good. And please, call me Frigga." She chuckles. "Here, meet my sons. Thor, and Loki." She smiles proudly.
As you reach a hand out to shake, you realise you shouldn't. Your father would whip your hand if you did that. Not that he's there, but you won't risk it this time. You settle on a curtsy.
"Welcome to Asgard, princess. We are more than happy to have you." Thor shouts kindly. You smile in return, feeling an odd sense of comfort from the large man.
You look over, making eye contact with Loki. He stares back at you, stunned, eyeing you up and down with a curious smirk. You blush and try not to laugh.
"It would seem that Prince Loki and I have actually met already."
---
The room bustled with people, eating their various foods and chatting about nothing. Small talk this, small talk that. Empty conversations will be the death of you.
"So, princess Y/n. How is your father faring?" A rough voice from beside you asks.
You groan internally.
"Quite well. Thank you." You reply through gritted teeth. You smile and silently stand there in hopes that unfamiliar man will leave. But, he doesn't.
"And how is life on Asgard treating you?" Another question you can roll your eyes at.
"Well considering I've been here barely a day, how about I get back to you on that one another time." You throw him a sour smile, handing him your drink before walking away curtly.
You find yourself standing alone in the corner as the night pursues. It seems that gossip travels rather fast here on Asgard as people were already whispering and casting judging glances. Perhaps you were too unnecessarily rude to the man. Well, who cares, maybe it means you can go home quicker.
"You do not care for dancing?" A husky voice asks from behind you.
"You do not care for approaching people like a normal person?" You don't need to turn around to know who it is.
He shrugs, no standing beside you. "I am not a normal person. It is simply part of my charm."
"Well that I sure do not care for." You cross your arms. How much longer until this is over.
"Ouch. You itch so badly to get out of here." He says quietly as he looks out onto the sea of people, who are starting to stare even more so now that you're talking to their prince.
"Don't you?" You scoff. "Look. I've been here a day and already all these people hate me."
"They do not hate you. They simply...misunderstand you, I suppose. Take your honesty as hostility." He shrugs.
"I said one thing! Just the one!" You raise one finger to emphasise and he chuckles in amusement.
"You will get over it, and I assure you, they will too." He tells you, as if he has experienced this before too.
Your eyes widen as you come to a shocking realisation. "If this news gets back to my father he is going to kill me."
Loki scoffs. "Please, with something this tame? I doubt it, princess."
His use of the words princess makes your stomach flip but you ignore the feeling and mumble incoherently back to him.
"I need to shower and organise my room with all my stuff." You say, changing the subject as you anxiously bite your nails, counting down the seconds till you can leave already.
"You do know there is maids for that, right?" He replies smugly, hands tucked into his pockets.
"Yes.. but you do know I'm not one of them, right?"
----
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neoarchipelago · 1 year ago
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Hold on
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Trigger warning: ANGST AND COMFORT. SELF HARM, SUICIDE, BLOOD. PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
A/N: idk... not feeling particularly good today so... here. Suffer with me. I'm ok, I'm not alone for those who wonder, and I'm a safe place. Just one of those days. Fully written based on this song.
"Simon?" You called. 
As the door closed behind you, you frowned. The house was quiet, not so unusual with a roommate like Simon. But he'd always come to greet you when he was on leave and you'd be home from work. You'd often compare him to a cat. Nonchalant, pretending to not care when he can't live without his human. Yes. 
But this evening, there wasn't a Simon greeting you. 
Perhaps he was out? Meeting his team for dinner or a couple drinks. You stepped into the living room, the air felt uneasy. Dropping your bag and coat on the couch you stopped, watching the tv. The show running, sounds barely audible. The cup of bourbon and half empty bottle near it. 
The air felt thick. Yes. Uneasy. 
"Simon?" You tried again. 
You searched his room first. Hoping he was hibernating away there. Passed out from overdrinking. Wasn't the first time. He'd come home from a particularly harsh mission and you'd find him drunk or passed out on the couch. He'd apologize profusely when you'd try to bring him to bed, and won't look you in the eye in the morning until you push him enough for him to open up to you. 
But the house was silent. And he wasn't hibernating. 
Your pace has increased now, rushing to your own bedroom. He may have passed out on your bed. Mistaken your room for his own. Finding comfort in between the amount of plushie he'd often tease you about. Very unlikely… but plausible. 
But the bed was empty. And the plushies were lonely. 
Your heart was stammering. Ridiculous, no? He was a 6 foot something man, built like a mountain. He could take care of himself. 
But you knew he couldn't truly do it. 
Had he taken his bike? Drive out, after drinking? Letting himself ride out on the hazing booze? He wasn't that stupid. He was often sad. Often empty and scared. Often woken up in cold sweat and nightmares, and you'd join him for tea in the middle of the night. Perhaps if you called his phone he'd answer. So you dialed. 
But he didn't answer. And his phone rang in the house. 
Your head snapped towards the bathroom. The sound of his ringtone echoing there. You almost dropped your phone. Almost. And you knocked- pounded on the door. 
"Simon?!" 
But he didn't answer. And your heart was too loud in your ears. And the air felt uneasy. So you tried to turn the lock. Blessing the gods for the amount of times you complained it was broken and would open too easily but never called the landlord. 
But behind the door there were no blessings. And you found your Simon. 
You didn't exactly know if you screamed. But your mind did. As you rushed to the bloodied man on the floor. Pale face. Visible face. 
"Nononono… Simon, what did you do?!" 
But your voice was broken. And his eyes didn't open. 
You grabbed the closests towels, watched the large cuts in his wrists and you tried to stop the blood from gushing out. Your vision was blurry, hands shaking. And you were so glad you had the rule that he had to put his gun into a safe that you only knew the code of when he's off duty. And your heartbeat was loud in your ears and his own so low as your head laid against his chest. You called him again and again. Until his eyes fluttered open, barely alive. 
"Simon!" You hiccuped. 
"M'sorry…" 
But he wasn't truly. Was he? And you were angry. 
In pain and angry and sad and panicked. And God please God no. 
"If you're sorry, help me! Get up, I'm taking you to hospital, right now!" You screamed. 
But he didn't move. And you were crying. 
"Please don't leave me…" 
Was that your voice? You didn't recognize it. And his eyes filled with tears. 
"I swear, I'll love you all my life. Hold on for me…" you tried. 
You liked- no. You loved this man. How could you not? He was your everything. Nestled in this apartment and in your heart. Washed away pain and sadness together. 
"I'll make it right…I still need you" you tried. 
But was it enough? And was he strong enough?
He swallowed thickly. His throat was probably dry. But he tried to sit up and you felt hope rushing through you. You grabbed hair ties, anything to tie the towels tightly around his wrists and you stood up, hooking his arm around your shoulders. And he stumbled, almost falling with you, slipping on the blood on the tiles. You managed to walk slowly, dragging him to the living room, and you grabbed your keys. 
But time was ticking. And even sitting in the car with him next to you, you felt dreadful. 
He was silent. Too silent. You were rushing, too fast, dangerously. You could both die. He would die anyway, and a part of you would be ok with ending it all here if he didn't make it. So it didn't matter. 
But you came to a screeching stop in front of the emergency room entrance. And the nurses came running to see what was going on. 
You watched in horror, mixed with hope and somehow relief as they took him. His eyes locked on your frame you ran next to him as they put him down in one of those beds to drag him inside. Until they didn't allow you further. And in a last glimpse you spoke. 
"Come back I still need you…" 
But it took hours. And it felt like a nightmare you simply couldn't escape from. 
His team was called. Soon running to you. Holding you. When did you get blood on you? It was his- and you felt sick. Soap holding back your hair as you turned to the nearest trash can. Price growling at the prying eyes. And you were crying again. 
"I just want to take him home…" you sobbed. 
But it wouldn't happen right now. And you wanted to die too, the ache in your chest unbearable. 
Images and flashbacks keep you from sleeping during the night. You stood watch waiting for them to let him see him. Until you could. And you followed silently with the team to a room. He was sleeping. Bandages, blood transfusion and pale face. You stood next to the bed, arms crossed in a comforting move. And the boys talked to the doctor while you took his hand in yours. 
"Hold on. Please… I don't want to let go… I'm not that strong. I want to hear you say "baby let's go home"." 
But he wasn't listening was he? And you sat in the silent room, next to his bed. 
And you didn't sleep. You stared at him, tears blurring your vision once in a while. After so long, you knew he was a soldier. You knew he could die at any moment. You hoped and begged it wouldn't happen every time he left for months. And yet you were so close to losing him right now. So close, and you didn't see it. And now you feel guilty. The only comfort being the stable beep of the heart monitor. 
"You saved him. You were right on time." 
But what if you didn't? And you hadn't come home and found him? 
You closed your eyes, dropping your head close to his hand. You didn't want to move. Didn't want to talk or eat. You wanted to stay here. You didn't want to fall asleep. 
But you did. And you only woke up hours later. 
Eyes red from crying. Silence enveloping you and you didn't want to open your eyes. Maybe for a few seconds more you could believe this was all a nightmare. 
But you had to open your eyes. And face reality. 
You choked on air when you saw the brown tired gaze on you. 
"Simon…" you whispered. 
Silence still. You didn't push it. You closed your eyes, nuzzling his hand, trying to hide the tears. 
"I'm so sorry…" 
But you shook your head. And kept your eyes shut. 
"Darling… please… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I put you through this." 
But you bit your lip, hard, to keep yourself from sobbing. And you failed. 
"Darling" his voice broke. 
"I can't imagine a world with you gone…" you sobbed. 
And he didn't answer. And you tried to muffle your sobs. His hand slowly and weakly tries to make you look up at him. You did, after a good mental slap of bravery. His eyes filled with tears. 
"I'm sorry. I'm here. I won't leave. I promise." 
But you were terrified. And you loved him. 
"I love you so much…" you sobbed. 
And his eyes closed, shut, as if the confession was too much to bear. A sin and a humiliating confession. You stood, nestling on the bed close to his eyes. And you sobbed against him. You didn't move anymore. Even as the team entered the room. Even as they talked, trying to defuse the situation with laughter. You didn't move. And you fell asleep. 
But you wanted to remain like that. And bask in the feeling of being next to him. 
He was let out a week later. With forceful military leave and psych evaluation, therapy. You had been adamant for him to do so. Remembering him that you would be here. You had a hard time walking inside the apartment with him. Flashbacks make you tremble. Everything left the way it was. Apart from the blood which had been cleaned by the boys when you stayed in hospital. 
But he noticed. And he hugged you. 
He comforted you. He was here. He was so sorry. And so were you. For not being here. Not being able to see he needed you. But how could it be anyone's fault? Now you were home. He was home. You felt on edge. You refused to let him sleep in his room. He had a fight until he saw the absolute despair in your eyes. Your bed. Next to you. No option. And now you wake up in the middle of the night to him. And you check his breathing. And you nestle closer and focus on his heartbeat. 
But there was a long road ahead. And you were more than determined to go through with this fight. Next to him. 
He had accepted the confession. Had accepted your feelings for him. Allowing himself to feel worthy. Therapy helped, and your stubbornness too. And he started to feel again. With time. And love. 
But time helps. And there is hope. 
Sometimes you still remember it. Sometimes you still wake up in sweat and you want to cry. But he wraps his arms around you. Kisses your lips and reminds you he's here. Forever. And you fall back asleep, cuddling up to him. And you're woken up in the morning by tiny footsteps running on the wood floor. The door swinging open and your sons jumping on the bed. Waking up their father. 
But you're so happy he held on. And you will forever thank him for it. 
In this new house. In this family. With that ring on your fingers. His eyes on you. His smile. And you were home. He was home. 
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5five5five5five5five5five · 1 month ago
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please old man/bookclub five headcanons, I loved ur last post about him!
hope you're feeling okay :]
Gasp!
I'm going to assume normal bookclub bc idk what s4 "bookclub" is. But I can totally ramble off about him in a casual club for books.
*he reads the books too fast and gets more peeved at the others who end up going very very slow. If someone doesn't finish a book, he admittly makes a comment "why are you in a book club if you can't finish a book is beyond me but-" old man shrug. It's not a fight worth having, he's just being a dick.
* brings the members strawberries and other fresh produce when he can. He likes showing off the stuff he grows and brings snacks.
*gets REALLY into the books. It's like he gets a micro fandom to be in every month. He reads it though like 3 times and then listens to the audio book once. Looks up if there's anything else. Maybe even discovers fanfiction...but he tries not to get that desperate.....he's read a few for particularly addictive books.
*has given a huge ramble about how the Great Gatsby would have been better and a lot of stuff settled if Gatsby and caraway kissed. He does it so casually too like he's not trying to make a progressive point or spark bigger queer discussion. He just genuinely thinks that's the answer to the book. More man kissing.
* speaking of, the more queer books they end up reading, the more he questions his everything. He probably has gone up to Viktor about stuff in these books and try to weasel out a "no it's not like that. Your totally a normal cishet man five." but neh it's ALWAYS "yeah that seems very realistic to the queer existence. Why so curious?" And he ends up not being able to admit he connects with said books. Viktor knows but he's not going to hound his brother any time soon. Five knows once he leaves the closet,there's people waiting to be supportive.
*the old ladies there can't stop babying him. He tries very hard to be as old man and as mature as he can but they don't listen and pinch his cheeks and pat his head. He is trying to do less sudden grandma wrist breaking to he takes it for the most part. They can be wrong. He will keep doing what he does. And he hates to admit the attention from women in his age range is nice. Sad he can't make any moves.
* for the holidays the bookclub goes caroling. Five isn't a fan but tags along. They most likely end up at one of his siblings houses and he gets cold feet. They can't see him in a dorky sweater and singing. Last Christmas he threw a fit about sweaters. But if he doesn't move, the club will leave him in the snow. Ruthless old farts.
Allison answers the door. Around 5 old people, 4 local parents and......five??? They stare daggers at eachother as five poorly sings oh holy night with the group. Then leaves. The other members noticed the tension but didn't want to say much.
*Lila tried to join once to get 'in' with the parents that are involved but was so booooored. "Five, no one should be having this much fun talking this much about a book. Period. Im almost concerned that you have finally gone senial."
*if five didn't like a book, he makes a PowerPoint on why and how. He is very detailed in his opinions. He wishes the others would do the same but no body can match his freak.
*he brings mr. Pennycrumb with him bc service dog and everyone there loves him.
* I think everyone assumes five is just a very lonely mentally or physically ill young man and try there best to be nice. He isn't fond of there borderline pity but he enjoys there company none the less.
* Diana from the PTA makes the best lemon cookies. Five eats more than he should.
*on top of book club, they like to take outings together to walk around and see the community. Do easy elderly friendly geocashes and eat at local cafes. Five likes when they go to the library because then they can snoop around for more books.
I hope you like these :3
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findafight · 1 year ago
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i don't get why robin and eddie clocking each other is so popular. firstly i find it kind of cheap esp since it's usually a set-up for robin and/or eddie being all-knowing arbiters of lgbt knowledge while steve is clueless and dumb and not lgbt enough (despite usually being bi) to partake in this exchange as well. then it's otherwise used to establish an immediate connection between robin and eddie since they are both gay which automatically makes them besties. secondly it doesn't make much sense w what we see of either robin or eddie. like we know robin struggles w social cues and we see that that extends to sexual orientation through her interactions w vickie. also i think she is just not paying that much attention to eddie i must be honest. then w eddie he spends his time campaigning for the stancy revival while steve blatantly stares at his mouth so. i don't think he'd be good at that either. like the irony in this being so common is that steve is the person that does clock someone else on top of being consistently socially and emotionally intelligent and perceptive. idk sometimes i feel like ppl take him not clocking robin as proof he's incapable of it despite him then clocking someone later and being right, and that s3 scene fitting into the broader context of steve being lonely, insecure, and off his game for most of s3 as well as between s2 and s3. tbh missed comedy potential w steve being the one person in that trio that actually knows what's happening.
oooohg yeah i feel you anon. Not to say that all the fics that have these tropes in them are bad! it just. sometimes gets annoying? I don't want people to feel too bad about it but yes agree.
I think it really is used as a way to fast track their friendship. Truly unfortunate that it's often used to make them all knowing queer guides instead of the disaster teenage gays they are.
Robin is a small town lesbian who is only out to one singular person, she does not know anything, let alone vague little queer codes that might be happening. She wouldn't know Eddie was queer for a variety of reasons. She says herself she's not good at reading people! She's also busy worrying about if she's doing something that might out her or make people suspicious of her, so she's not analyzing other people's actions. She does not care about men that aren't Steve enough to pay enough attention to figure out if Eddie is queer or not lol. She can't even figure out if the girl she likes who likes her back is queer when her best friend is telling her. Oblivious icon! open your eyes, queen!!
Eddie had a man he deliberately broke a moment of romantic tension between his love interest by throwing a vest at his face staring at his lips and still pushed him towards said love interest. Sir. what are you doing. and once it's clear stncy isn't happening you know eddie would be like okay. why aren't you dating Robin? hmm? she's cool! and causes Steve to Suffer. (Steve was flirting with Eddie .5 seconds before he started on this please get with the program Eddie!!)
Also think it's silly that people would stereotype Eddie as Queer from how he dresses as though that's not just how a lot of people dressed? long hair was In in the 80s. Metal fashion was there. It also likely had some/a lot of ingrained homophobia in the subculture (as many things did). Sorry Eddie, but I'm pretty sure our boy Brucie did more for the gays than metallica. (Kissing Clarence Clemens Right On The Mouth Many Times On Stage thank you mr. springsteen and mr. clemens sirs.)
Steve's the only one of these three that 1) knows how to flirt 2) knows when someone is flirting with him 3) has consistently demonstrated being emotionally and socially intelligent to observe people (more than arguably anyone else in the series) and 4) has any kind of functioning gaydar. Totally agree that Steve not clocking Robin despite his gaydar is that he was way off his game, insecure, in a funk, pathetic sad meow meow era, and in a weird state of squish-or-crush on Robin, that was pushed towards crush by Dustin but slam dunked into squish by Robin coming out (does that make any sense?)
I truly, truly believe Vickie returned Fast Times paused on 53 minutes and five seconds specifically when she knew Robin and/or Steve would be the ones to rewind it. Why else would she not rewind it? when clearly they knew who had rented it and could potentially out her if they read into it? She was getting vibes from robin and knew that Steve would at least report Back to Robin (I refuse to believe the championship game was the only time stobin gossiped like they did. Vickie knows their shenanigans.) so she decided to be indirect but kinda obvious about it!! And while Robin is denying this Steve has seen the truth, he knows exactly what Vickie is doing. (would be very funny if Steve and Vickie clock each other, and then make eye contact like I know what you are. They deserve to become funky little friends while Steve is trying to get her and Robin together.)
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gor3sigil · 3 months ago
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Watched a video where the dude talked about how he missed the "old internet" and how it's getting more and more difficult to form meaningful relationships online, that people mostly want to spread positivity or be seen as activists or advocates for x y z.
And I have to say, I agree. I'm 27, I didn't live the earliest days of the Internet, but something I vividly remember is how people would have blogs with long long posts about their lives like a public diary and man it was so great to read. I remember some of them like I read them yesterday just because it was THAT impactful.
When I started to get out of the nerdy forums and chat rooms I was in and hang out in "modern" social media, I HATED it. Like, every fucking bit, everything felt so fake and to me, it's even worse now, a decade later.
Idk man I just hate small talk IRL and online and all this shit where people are suddenly "trauma dumping" as soon as they go a bit deeper than surface level conversations, I just can't. It's like people are just scared to talk to one another even online when it used to be the only place I could be myself and make friends.
That's why I like it here, I love to see long ass posts about everything and anything and people just be their weird selves. Sometimes I'm sad I didn't get to experience the "golden age" of Tumblr because I'm french and couldn't read english at the time and this site wasn't that used by french people. But I'm glad this site is still going strong because that's one of the only place online where I still feel people are genuine and interesting lmao.
Maybe I'm just a dick but being an adult with very few friends in need of deeper connections is lonely.
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daryfromthefuture · 3 months ago
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i'm on the train and bored and still have an hour to go, so TIME TO RANT ✨️
and i'm choosing to make a list of bttf scenes i would have done differently/things i would have added because i like disagreeing with bob gale as if i owned this franchise
this is maybe an unnecessary change, but personally, i would have preferred if there were more instances of marty trying to warn doc about his death in part 1. we see it when doc demonstrates the model and then later twice on november 12 (before he writes the letter and then before marty has to leave), but i feel like it would have been more emotionally impactful if he had tried it more than that and only at the very end given up and written that letter.
SHOW DOC PLAY SAX. LIKE BRO. they could have had a concert 😭 imagine doc crashing the dance and playing sax with marty on stage (take this bullet point with a grain of salt, i'm only half serious. but still seeing doc play sax would have been badass)
the most obvious point of all obvious points, add the goddamn lone pine mall hug. the entire fandom agrees it's canon, and i remember a post going around speculating that they did indeed record a hug and keep the secret footage somewhere at universal lmao. but all jokes aside, this hug was SO necessary. every sane person would be waiting for it when watching the movie. marty is literally on the ground, bawling his eyes out, thinking his friend is gone, and us heartbroken audience members don't even get a hug to soothe our souls. i haven't paid much mind to doc and marty's relationship when i first watched bttf, but even past me was expecting a hug. good thing bobby fixed it in the musical
MORE JENNIFER. don't knock that girl out for 75% of the movie, please. she deserved better, and i wish bttf 2 would have put more emphasis on her as a character and how she's like and stuff. i hate to see it, but she's such a surface character that we barely know anything about (in my opinion), and that's just sad. she could very well have gone to the cafe 80s with marty and kept him grounded and stuff.
honestly, i maybe even would have kept that deleted 1985a scene with dave. we don't get to see marty's siblings at all in that timeline aside from a mention from biff, and it would have been interesting to see.
this is quite a jump in time, but i wish bob gale would have expanded on the scene in bttf 3 in which doc tells marty that he wants to stay behind in 1885 because of clara. this might be my fanfic brain speaking, but i see so much conflict potential. it would have been wild to see doc and marty argue, maybe even fight for the first time in the trilogy, and picture the emotional turmoil both of them were going through. if i had been marty, i would have snapped, not gonna lie. like, yeah, i get that doc found the love of his life but after all the lectures he'd given marty and after all those times marty was willing to rip apart the fabric of time just to keep doc alive, that man just goes "sorry marty, i met a woman i fell in love with, thanks for saving my life so i can live it out HERE. you go back home and idk clean my lab" >:(. this will forever be a pet peeve hahahaha
WHY does doc just FLY OFF on that DAMN TRAIN? i have to admit, it is an epic ending and feels sort of celebratory, but how can he say that he had to get his dog BEFORE even MENTIONING marty, giving him a photo, shake his hand as if they were work colleagues and nothing more, and then LEAVE? WHAT??? at least talk to him for a bit longer, tell your best friend where you've been, whether he will see you again and that you cherish him for god's sake. if you already had to give him false hopes by getting on the train only to fly off on the hoverboard later 🙄
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