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uglypastels · 1 year

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Caught Me Slippin' | escort!eddie au

(a/n) yes, this fic is based on the Kiss Quotient, and, therefore also Pretty Woman. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll for me to work on this fic. I had a lot of fun with it! So, even though its a bit all over the place, haha, I hope you still like it.

If you want to see more of this fic, please send an ask and we can chat about it but Do Not Ask For Part 2. This is a One Shot.

Summary: [modern!au] feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories.

Word count: 13.2k

Warnings: SMUT. MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY. dual POV. rich!female!reader. shorter than Eddie. self-consciousness. slight miscommunication - quickly resolved. swearing. drinking. awkwardness. [mention of infidelity, side characters]. non-monogamous relationship. smut. male sex work (obviously). slight dom! Eddie. inexperienced!reader. mentions of bdsm- bondage, sadomasochism. nipple piercings. nipple play. fingering. oral (f receiving). light pussy slapping. Eddie has an innocence kink. I'm probably not representing sex work 100% accurately, but this is [fan]fiction. You should always take it with a grain of salt. + apparently, kind of angsty, idk i guess I'm dead inside.

if you think I'm missing any warnings, please let me know, and I'll add them. if you do not like the sound of any of these- then this is not for you. do not read.

All the errors left unlearned, oh

But I am the luckiest guy

Not the loneliest guy in the world

- David Bowie, The Loneliest Guy

What the hell were you doing?

Sitting at a bar, which was mistake number two. One of many, for that matter. The third was ordering a drink you knew you wouldn’t drink but had picked when panic swooped over you as the bartender walked up. The red liquid looked quite pretty, but you could smell the alcohol the second the girl put the glass in front of you. An attempt at a sip was made, and you brought it to your lips, but the bitterness overwhelmed you.

There was one thing you had gotten right, and that was at least picking a bar that wasn’t crowded. The music played at just the right volume, and people kept to themselves, to their booths and their tables. You tried to let your mind wander off, not to overthink– that would only cause more anxiety– but it always went back to what the people around you were talking about. You never meant to be nosy, and you never butted in… but it was entertaining what random strangers had to say to each other.

— You’re shitting me.

— No, I’m serious. Sarah told me herself. She walked in, and there he was, fucking their pool boy.

The table behind you erupted in a chorus of gasps.

— Poor Sarah, though.

— Yeah, well, she had been sleeping with her yoga instructor.

How were people so comfortable talking about such things in public? Where everyone could listen in? You almost felt bad for this Sarah that her complicated marriage was being shared with the entirety of this small bar, surely then retold all across the city.

You glanced around you, side to side. The bar counter was quite long, with enough space for eight barstools to stand next to each other. Besides yours, four more were occupied. Having opted for the last chair, you were worried about someone sitting on one of your neighbouring chairs, but luck had been in your favour.

That is, until he showed up.

Your first, and probably, the biggest mistake that you made that night.

♤

From the second that Eddie sat down beside her, he could tell something was wrong. He always could with such things. As well as assume what might have been the cause of the problem.

Her eyes widened, nearly doubled in size, as he sat down next to her. He couldn’t have made a mistake; she had sent what she would look like and be wearing, and the description was accurate. She should have known what Eddie would look like as well; that’s basically what the whole selection was based on, look, and yet… the way she stared at him… he had the urge to wave his hand in front of her to make sure she wasn’t going into shock.

‘Hey,’ instead, he opted for a kind smile as he leaned against the bar, asking for a quick confirmation of her name, and took a moment to take her in properly while she defrosted and returned to reality. She was cute, to his surprise, definitely not the type he would usually be coming across these nights. Pretty and young, but mostly, shy. The bar was definitely not in her comfort zone, and he had picked up on that the second he noticed het sitting there, back stiff in nerves, drink untouched except for the little straw she stirred around in circles mindlessly. At first, he thought, maybe it’s all an act. The shy and naive girl next door, he was into it, but no. Now he knew better; she was terrified.

A few seconds later, when his eyes moved back up to her face, she spoke her first words.

‘Who are you?’

♤

There had been a mistake. There must have been. Whoever the guy sitting next to you was, he was not the guy you had paid for.

Jesus that sounded so stupid. How could you have been so dumb thinking it was a good idea to hire a guy for the night. As if that would make you feel better, make all your problems disappear.

The man blinked in confusion. Your reaction had clearly been a surprise. As he stumbled over his words, you took him in quickly.

Long brown hair fell over his shoulders in messy waves. He had layered up, but not for practicality. You couldn’t see how the leather jacket or the denim vest over a thin t-shirt would help him against the evening cold, not to mention his ribbed jeans. Overall he looked like he had been directly cut out of an 80s rock magazine. Sure, some women must be into that kind of look; you couldn’t even deny he was pretty attractive, but it was not what you had wanted. Not for now. You needed something simple. Comfortable. Easy.

Those large rings and metal chains were most definitely not comfortable. Or simple. Or easy.

Oh god.

♤

‘I’m Eddie,’ he stated, hoping it would clear something up, but her confused stare didn’t falter. ‘Didn’t you book…’ Eddie knew all the people around him were poking their noses into everyone’s business, so he tried to pick his words wisely, ‘... the appointment?’ Fuck, did he walk up to the wrong girl? He knew it would have been too good to be true to get an actual girl his age. People always lied on these forms. He was ready to apologise and walk away, but she answered.

‘I did.’ Her eyes wavered again over him. ‘But not you. There must have been some kind of mistake, I–’

‘Is everything good here?’ The bartender walked up, towel across her shoulder, her piercing blue eyes digging right through Eddie. Her question had been directed at the girl, and she nodded quickly.

‘All good, just a little misunderstanding.’

‘Alright then,’ The bartender sent Eddie another suspicious look before heading to the other side of the counter to take another order. This was fucking fantastic. Yeah, just great.

♤

‘Ok, so who did you think you were meeting?’ Eddie asked when the woman behind the bar walked away, slightly backing away from you, letting his shoulders fall.

You tried to remember the name of the guy who caught your attention last evening. Would the name mean anything to Eddie? You didn’t expect all these guys to hang around together...

‘Shit, yeah, ok, that makes sense.’ You could see all the puzzle pieces coming together behind his eyes. ‘He’s out on a date tonight as well. They must have sent us each other’s… wait,’ he quickly grabbed his phone.

♤

Eddie searched through his emails. It didn’t take long to ignore the few spam messages he had gotten since this morning. And there it was. The booking confirmation he had received. Having gotten them so often, he had read it on autopilot, not even realising that his own name was missing. All he had needed, he thought, was his client’s information. But there it was, literally the first two words of the email: Dear Steve…

Oh, the office would have a field day with this.

But some of him also could not wait to ask Steve how his date went.

♤

‘Yeah, they fucked it up,’ after a few seconds, Eddie had turned his phone around to show you an email. Even though you only needed the first two words to understand the mistake that occurred, you took the time to read as much of it as possible to make sure it was real. From what you could tell, it seemed legit. Just what business operated solemnly through emails… and apparently, not even automated ones.

‘I’m really sorry for the inconvenience,’ Eddie apologised as he pulled his phone back and placed it into his pocket. ‘I can call the office and get you a refund. I promise you that this is usually nothing of the standard we usually operate at.’ You appreciated his professionalism. Despite never thinking you were that judgemental, perhaps you had actually judged him a bit too harshly at first glance. And he was quite attractive…

‘No, wait,’ you stopped him before he could dial the number of his boss, or whoever was in charge. ‘Uhm… did your… friend… send you something? About his date?’ Steve was now, of course, also on the wrong job. Eddie looked up at you for a second, before glancing down again at his phone to check his notifications.

‘No, haven’t heard anything from him. I guess the other person didn’t seem to care which one of us they got.’ he chuckled, which surprised you. Did other people not care about who they slept with? You get to pick a person for a reason, don’t you?

‘I don’t need a refund.’ You stated after a short moment. Eddie glanced up once more.

‘Are you sure? It’s a lot of money–’

‘No, I mean, I would like to continue the night… with you.’ This was, for sure, getting out of your comfort zone, right? Being adventurous, getting a life, all that shit your friends nagged you about for years. Eddie smiled with the corner of his mouth.

‘Alright then, would you like to get out of here?’

‘Yes, please,’ you let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, the volume in the space picked up quite a lot as more people entered, drowning out your conversation, but it was getting a bit too much for you. ‘Just… one minute.’ you stood up, heading to the bathroom, but Eddie called your attention for one more second.

‘You forgot your purse.’ he looked down at the ground where your bag was lying. You gave him an awkward smile and picked it up before making your way to the back of the bar.

Closing the stall door behind you, you wished for some decent internet; thankfully, it wasn’t the worst. You didn’t bother trying to be quick about it. There was no doubt in your mind that he knew you were looking him up online. With shaking hands, you typed in the name of the agency where you had found Steve. They had a list of all their “models”, as they nicely labelled them, and you scrolled through them. There was the guy you had planned on spending the night with. You had picked him because he looked sweet, and hot, obviously, but with enough cockiness thrown in the mix to tell you he knew what he was doing. And the little sales pitch the website had written up for him to sell the fantasy worked well. You didn’t bother rereading it now, but it was something to do with “the sweet jock that knows how to take care of his girl”. It was extremely cheesy, you were more than aware of that, but cheesy was good. It was safe.

Your friends would have probably laughed at you.

They probably would have picked out a guy like Eddie.

Speaking of the guy waiting for you at the bar, you found his profile. First thing first, the picture. That was definitely him; you recognised the unruly dark hair and brown eyes. He had several photos posted in his profile, like most of the men on the website, and they were of semi-professional quality: self-taken, but with a very nice camera and lighting. He had put effort into his presentation. First, there was the portrait, showing his handsome face, shirtless but cropped to the shoulder, revealing enough of the silver chain around his neck but not showing what was actually hanging off it.

The following picture was a full-body pose, with clothes on that were not significantly different from the ones he was wearing now. No denim vest, but a different leather jacket on top of a black shirt. Dark denim jeans with a belt, buckled by what looked like to be steel handcuffs… had he been wearing that tonight as well?

Your throat tightened up as you swiped to the next post, which was, of course, the obligatory nude. All the “models” had to have them, since that was basically what people paid for. If it wasn’t for the fact that the site saw itself as one of the “classier” agencies out there, the naked pictures would have been the only ones available. You, for one, appreciated the variety.

Eddie was posed on a bed, on his knees. With one hand in his hair, and the other over his thigh, he didn’t leave anything to the imagination. Despite not even looking at the camera, the smug smile on his face told you he knew exactly what he was doing. He got you looking, and he knew you liked it. Yet, what you couldn’t stop looking at were the tattoos that covered his pale skin. Dozens of them, at least, varying in size and style, covering most of his arms, upper legs, ribs…

You scrolled on, remembering he was still waiting for you outside, but the next picture didn’t make anything better.

It had been a session shot. You had stumbled across similar ones on your initial look at the website. The men posing out the act of some kind of intercourse. Different positions, different actions, whatever described their style in the profession. For Eddie, that included the shot of a naked woman in bed, the same bed in which he had taken the previous picture. Her limbs were spread apart, tied to the bed corners. Her eyes were covered with a black and white bandana, and the rest of the features tightened in bliss as Eddie was positioned between her legs. His mouth was right at her core. If that wasn’t enough, he had put some props up on display next to the woman; some extra handcuffs, a vibrator and what you assumed to be a flogger.

What the hell were you getting yourself into?

♤

She returned after a few minutes, and Eddie could immediately tell his assumption was right. The poor thing couldn’t look him in the face. She sat back down on the barstool, holding onto her purse, lip between her teeth and eyes on anything but him. Yeah, she had looked him up.

In all honesty, he thought it was a good thing. He didn’t care for people who didn’t do their research into things. Saying that, as quite a spontaneous person, you couldn’t jump into things head first all the time. Sometimes, it was important to test the waters. Make sure there were no sharks swimming around.

‘I paid for your drink,’ Eddie remembered. She looked at him, stunned.

‘Oh, you really didn’t have to.’ Did she seem apologetic?

‘Please, its the least I can do, for, you know, being the wrong guy and all.’ He smiled, hoping she would return the favour. The corner of her mouth curved up the smallest amount, still quite unsure of the situation.

‘Really, I–’ she was ready to get her wallet, most likely pay him back, but Eddie stopped her by placing his hand over hers. That made her freeze, look back up at him. Eddie felt two pairs of eyes on him. Hers, and the bartender behind him, most definitely reassessing the whole situation. Everything about this evening was going to shit. He could probably wave his perfect 5-star rating goodbye, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but he for sure as hell was not going to get put on any registers tonight. However, trying to seduce a stranger into bed with him when he is so clearly not the type for this girl… why was he even trying so hard?

He didn’t like using the term “vanilla”, it got too much of a bad rep, but that is what she seemed to be. Her clothes weren’t flashy, not even considering for “outgoing”. She wasn’t the type to go out and hook up, let alone get an escort. He wasn’t surprised she had decided to go for a guy like Steve. But Steve wasn’t here; Eddie was. He now had the job of taking care of this girl in any way she wanted him to.

‘Ok, shall we?’ She took a deep breath as she got up.

‘Are you–’ maybe they should talk about this? He didn’t want her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with.

‘C’mon,’ next thing he knew, she grabbed Eddie by the wrist and whisked him off the barstool, dragging him along outside. It was early in the year, but late in the evening. The air was crispy, and the wind blew harshly. Eddie had definitely not dressed warm enough for the night, but that would have been an understatement for her. She would freeze in a few minutes.

‘I got a room in the hotel just across the corner,’ she spoke, rather determined. Some people might have mistaken it for confidence, but Eddie saw the other signs. Her clenched jaw, her consistent avoidance of eye contact… she was putting on a brave face. And that’s how people get into situations they don’t want to be in.

If it had been warmer, he would have stopped them on the street, but he had to get her out of the cold, so he let the girl drag him across the sidewalk to the hotel's entrance. It was big. The warm lighting reflecting off of all the decor, giving it a golden glow.

She did not stop walking until they reached the elevator. She clicked the button, and the arrow above the doors pointed down. The numbers slowly descended from 14.

‘I know you looked me up.’ Eddie started, having no idea how to introduce the topic fluently.

‘Ok.’ She was biting her lip nervously.

‘So I know you know what my usual gig is.’ They both watched the numbers go down. 7… 6…

‘So we’re on the same page.’ She glanced up at him; he could see it in the reflection of the metal doors.

‘I don’t think we are.’ The elevator pinged open as Eddie said so. They walked inside.

‘What do you mean?’ She finally looked him in the eye, only momentarily, but he saw that some of her fear slowly faded as she pressed the button to her floor. 15.

‘That, yes, I usually am pretty rough with my clients,’ he couldn’t hide the smile on his face, but could anyone blame him? He enjoyed his work. ‘But that’s because they want me to be rough.’ He looked at her intensely. Not to intimidate her, but to show her the seriousness of his words. ‘I don’t do anything that you don’t want me to do. You paid for an evening with… well, not me, but it’s all the same. If you get your money’s worth from a good pounding, I’m more than happy to oblige. From cuddling and watching a movie? All fine by me.’

♤

It’s all the same.

But it wasn’t, was it? They weren’t all the same.

‘What about you?’ you asked just as the elevator opened on your floor. Eddie let you walk through first. Now, you couldn’t look away from him, letting your head almost spin around a whole 360 to get your glance at him.

‘What about me?’ He had his hands in his pockets. Suddenly there didn’t seem to be anything scary about him. His hair was soft. His jacket, while not exactly winter-weather proof, looked cozy. The patches on his vest were hand sawn. With an image of him sitting at home, sewing them on, one by one, you got a sudden urge to ask about them, but who did that? Surely, in your situation, questions like that were out of bounds.

‘What do you like?’

‘That doesn’t matter,’ he chuckled, which confused you.

‘Doesn’t it? I might not be the most knowledgeable about the whole sex thing, but… shouldn’t both people involved be getting off? Doesn’t that make it better?’ You had reached your door. Weirdly, from having focused on the conversation as you walked, you didn’t feel any nerves unlocking the door. The room was dark, and you switched the light on. The nerves still didn’t bubble up. You could do it.

‘I suppose so– wait, you’re not a virgin, are you?’

You shook your head no.

‘Ok. not that there is anything wrong with that. Everyone’s living life at their own pace, I just don’t feel comfortable with that kind of responsibility. No one’s first time should be with….’

‘A professional?’ you raised your eyebrow, suggesting a possibly more classy term for what he wanted to say.

‘Nice.’ He smiled, and made his way over to the bed. You watched him get comfortable on the edge as you took off your light jacket. Your arms were freezing from the cold air outside, but the hotel room was cosy. Not to mention, the nerves were heating you up once more by the second. This was it. Eddie spread his legs wide, almost calling for your eyes to look at his thighs and how they stretched the material of the jeans.

When your eyes moved back up to his face, you were terrified to see that he was staring right back at you, devouring you with his gaze. He definitely saw you checking him out. But it was becoming harder to concentrate when you looked at how his large hand grazed over the faint stubble on his face.

‘C’mere,’ he said with a nod, and thoughtlessly, you followed his order. Eddie took you by both hands once you were close enough and placed them on his shoulders, then let his hands settle on your waist. His eyes found yours for a quick check. When you gave him the green light with a smile, he immediately mirrored it and asked: ‘what were your plans for this magical evening?’ He briefly tightened his grip on you and kept moving his hands up and down lightly as you tried to respond. As if that wasn’t hard enough with his eyes staring deep into you.

‘No, uhm, nothing special.’ You didn’t need special. Special meany complicated, and you just needed someone to help you out with the basics.

‘Making it special is kind of my one job, you know,’ he pulled you in for a hug so that his face was only a few inches away from your stomach. His arms now enveloped your frame, hands comfortably positioned over your ass. A complete stranger was hiking up the hem of your shirt, touching your bare skin underneath it. ‘So, what is it that you want?’ When he pulled up enough of your shirt to actually reveal the skin underneath, he placed a soft kiss on your side. That feeling alone felt electric. He kept on leaving fluttering kisses over your middle. It was a strange sensation as well as a pleasing one. So simple, and yet it had a great effect that you couldn’t quite explain.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you tried to concentrate on Eddie’s question as his kisses continued. What did you want from this night? But should you tell him the complete truth? Wasn’t there some way to avoid the embarrassing details? Then again… how could he ever help you with your needs if he didn’t know what they were?

‘I want…’ you gasped lightly when his teeth grazed your skin. For some reason, that pushed you over the edge to just put everything you worried about out there. You were already here, in this hotel room, with him. Fuck it.

♤

‘I want you to help me be good at sex.’

Eddie didn’t mean to stop. He saw in her reaction that that had been the wrong thing to do. She must have seen his widened eyes and taken it for judgement, while really, it had just been a small surprise. He wasn’t exactly used to people asking him to teach them how to have sex.

‘Sorry, uhm, nevermind. Just ignore me.’ She scratched at her neck while looking away. That won’t do. Eddie had to fix this before they would do anything else.

‘No, wait. Let’s… let’s talk this through for a moment.’ He led her by the hand and let her sit on the bed next to him. ‘Get comfortable. Is there anything in the minibar?’ he noticed the small fridge in the closet across the room and hoped she would understand his question to ask permission to use the service provided in the room.

‘Go ahead, take anything you want.’

‘Living large, are we?’ He cocked his brow before making his way over to the minibar. The selection of drinks was quite understated for a place like they were in. two cheap beers, a small bottle of champagne and two sodas. From what he had gathered at the bar, she didn’t seem to be a big drinker, so he grabbed a beer and a soda can. ‘Here.’

‘Oh, thanks.’ She didn’t look up at him as she took the can from him. Fuck, what was she embarrassed for? He doubted she would speak up in the conversation by herself, so just started out with a question. ‘Why do you think you need help with sex?’ She said she wasn’t a virgin, so she’s had experience. With a glance at her hands, he saw no ring or sign of regular wear of one. That, of course, didn’t exclude the option of a boyfriend or a partner. Maybe even a guy she just wanted to impress. The possibilities were endless, and for some strange reason, at the thought of her having sex with someone else, a strange feeling started gnawing at Eddie’s guts.

‘Because I’ve had sex a few times and so far it’s been awful.’ She sighed. ‘But I know that, to get better at it, I would have to go and endure endless dates to find a guy who would want to sleep with me, but then what if I do meet a great guy but just put him off because I’m shit in the sack?’

‘Don’t you believe that, if you did really find the right guy, he would help you? Or not even mind your alleged lack of skills “in the sack”?’ Eddie asked, taking a sip of beer. She just looked at him with a look that told him everything. Right. Men are egoistic scum. She had a point.

‘Sorry, you must think I’m insane.’ She tapped on the top of the can. The metal ticking sounded hollow in the quiet room.

‘I really don’t.’ If it wasn’t for the fact that he had a moral spine, he would have happily told her about some of his other clients.

‘Yeah, but I’m just wasting your time talking your ears off with absolute nonsense,’ she tried to laugh at it, lessen the tension.

Eddie leaned over the bed on his elbow. ‘Don’t you know that escorts are the new therapists?’

‘Wasn’t that bartenders?’

‘I brought you your drink, didn’t I? Call it a 2-for-1 combo deal.’ He put his beer in the air for a toast and took another sip. ‘And I was serious earlier. You already paid for the whole night, so I’m all yours, sweetheart’ He hoped that didn’t sound dismissive. The last thing he wanted to do (again) was to upset or offend this girl, who genuinely looked and seemed amazing. The idea of her not being able to find someone for herself, having to go down the process of finding someone like him to make her feel good…

‘Are all the guys at your agency this nice?’ she looked up from the lip of her can, bringing his mind back into the room.

‘No, Steve is a giant dick,’ Eddie laughed.

‘Right, while you have one,’ she teased.

‘Ha. Funny.’ He pointed at her in appreciation before taking a sip of the beer. ‘But I suppose you’re not wrong.’ She had seen his pictures; she knew what he had in stock. He wondered what she thought of it– sure, she might not have been ready for his regular repertoire, but that didn’t mean “never”. But what he wanted to know the most, which felt like the biggest surprise, was what did she think of him? For the first time since he started this gig, he wondered what she thought of his appearance. Did she like his tattoos? Was his hair too long, maybe? Were his clothes too shabby? Perhaps it was because she had not actually picked him. She had chosen Steve.

Oh, Stevie. They couldn’t be more different.

‘Are you sure you’re ok with me… being here?’

♤

‘I am.’ You didn’t know what else to reply to that question. Of course, the night was not going anything like you had expected. Until two hours ago, you were planning to have some alright sex with, what you could describe as a “regular hot guy”. Instead, you were on the bed, fully clothed, drinking a coke next to a Metallica reject. Was it too late to still do any of the things you had initially paid for, or was the mood entirely ruined? Did people recover from going into highly personal and dramatic tangents in front of the escort they had hired?

‘Ok, cool. Just… making sure. Fair warning, I might do that a few more times through the night.’ The idea of still having an entire night to spend with Eddie made you really happy. Even if you didn’t know what to do with him in this small room. With a large king-sized bed in the middle, and not much else but the essential hotel decor, the room was perfect for exactly the reason you had booked it and not much else.

Just as you thought it was getting a bit too quiet between the two of you and had wanted to speak up with a question, Eddie opened his mouth to say something as well. So you also simultaneously apologised and let the other person say their piece.

‘No, go ahead,’ you nudged him. Whatever he had to say would probably lead the conversation better.

‘I was just wondering, when you said “help be good with sex”, which aspect are we talking about here? Just regular? Oral? Foreplay? Like, what are we talking about here?’

‘Uhm, pretty much everything.’ You winced at yourself. So far, all your attempts at intercourse had been not great. It always felt awkward and uncomfortable. The guys would get what they were there for and didn’t feel the need to wait around for more. And if it kept on happening, then the math was simple, wasn’t it? Just look at what the overlapping factor was in all the situations. It was eventually your friends one night, after a few bottles of wine, who suggested the idea of just hiring a guy to teach you what to do. It would be so much easier. No feelings, and they know what they are doing. Foolproof plan.

And somehow, you still managed to make things complicated and weird.

♤

‘Now see, I don’t believe that,’ Eddie smiled. There was no way she didn’t know how to do anything. Especially since most of it was just pure instinct. There is a reason why people call it “messing around”, and it’s not because of any guide or formula that one should be working off of to get it right.

‘Well, then you should ask the other guys.’ Again with that little smile, trying to undermine her own feelings.

‘No, fuck them. I bet they didn’t even make you cum.’ He accused. Her lack of response was enough of an answer. Eddie could bet his entire wage that she thought it was her fault they didn’t get her to climax and that… that actually pissed him off. How often had he had his clients tell him how their husbands, the men supposed to take care of them, never bothered to fulfil their one simple and honestly fucking delicious duty? A thought sparked in his mind, and he couldn’t keep back the grin that sprouted up with it.

‘What?’ she asked at the sight of his smile.

‘Have you ever?’

‘Ever what?’

‘Had a climax?’

‘Oh,’ the way she got shy talking about it, to Eddie’s embarrassment, turned him on. The best thing was they didn’t even have to play pretend. ‘I mean, I think?’

‘You think?’ He raised an eyebrow.

‘Yeah, sorry,’ she cleared her throat, ‘Uhm… I’ll just be right back.’ And having said that, she ran to the bathroom.

As she closed the door, Eddie pondered on the idea of undressing. It would speed things up, possibly breaking the icy wall that closed her off. With one naked person in the room, it was hard to think about much else, which meant less to worry about. But he didn’t think she would actually appreciate it. No, she needed to take it slow. And he would happily guide her through it all.

♤

You splashed some cold water in your face. There had been no reason for you to run out of the room like that except for being a total chicken. The way Eddie was so open and comfortable, talking about all of that… brought out a new fear in you. One you didn’t know you had. One you couldn’t even identify. You just knew you had to get out from under his gaze. Those big brown honey-glazed eyes.

Why the hell did you leave the room? He was sitting so close to you. Your legs were nearly touching. He still sat with his legs spread, basically inviting you to get between them. And what do you do? Run away.

You splashed some more water onto your face.

There wasn’t much makeup on your face to begin the night, and whatever you had left of your mascara and blush was wiped off with the towel you grabbed. One more look in the mirror to ensure no grey ink streaks down your cheeks, and you were ready to get out again.

Just one big breath in. and out.

The bathroom door handle moved silently, and you pulled the door open to be met with Eddie’s chest. He was standing right in front of you.

‘Oh, hi.’

‘Hey, just wanted to make sure you were ok in there.’ He knocked on the door frame in a delayed manner for extra effect. Knock knock. You noticed he had taken off his vest and jacket. Just in his t-shirt now. The sleeves ended right at his biceps, revealing the sleeves of tattoos he hid underneath all those removed layers.

‘So are you alright?’ he asked when you didn’t respond to what he had said earlier. The question pulled your thoughts out of the clouds and your head up to look him in the eye.

‘Yeah, yeah, just…’ your mouth was extremely dry. One more second and no words would be leaving it ever again. It was just gonna have to come out now. Then, with a quick exhale, you admitted. ‘I’ve never had an orgasm.’ From Eddie’s reaction, it didn’t seem to have been any news to him. Like it was the most normal conversation, which, given his job, it probably was. You tried to ignore the thought of him and the many women he must have helped.

‘Well, I would be more than honoured to change that for you.’ He took a step forward, and the proximity forced you to look up at him to see his eyes.

‘Is that a rehearsed line?’ Apparently, your one outburst of truth led to the pandora’s box in your brain, and now you couldn’t shut up, saying the first thing that came to your mind. And unfortunately, it was still filled with the images of him with other people; him making all of them feel ecstatic.

Luckily, Eddie laughed at your presumption. His head tilted back, and when it came back down, and his eyes were once again locked in with yours, his lips pulled up into a smirk. One of his hands found its way up to your cheek before he leaned in. you were ready for him to kiss you, but instead, his breath lingered over your skin. So close that you should have been able to touch him, and maybe you did. Because there was something that made your mind a thick haze, impossible to navigate through. Everything spun around you except for Eddie.

‘So what if I did rehearse it?’ his words hit your jaw as he hovered over you, then whispering directly into your, he asked: ‘What if I’ve already planned 10 different ways in which I want to make you writhe underneath me? Would you mind that?’ Would you mind?

Whatever for?

In a shaky breath, you spoke the only thing you could think of at the moment.

‘Kiss me.’

♤

Eddie didn’t need to be told twice.

He must have been grinning like an idiot, and he could only hope it didn’t put her off as he brought their lips together and kissed her. Deeply. Passionately.

The hair around her face was slightly wet, as was her jaw, telling him she had just spent the last minute splashing water in her face. She tasted sweet, like the coke she had been drinking earlier.

Her hand crept up to his collar, shyly grabbing at it and pulling it down, revealing the slightest inch of the tattoo on his clavicle. Not that she would see it, having closed her eyes the second their lips connected.

Eddie let one of his hands find its way back to her waist. Holding on to each other, they stumbled back onto the bed. She let out a whimper as Eddie’s knees hit the edge of the bed, and he fell backwards, taking her right down with him.

It was a slow tear-away, leaving both in a haze. Eddie watched her sit up straight, straddling him and keeping him locked. If she moved, she would feel how hard he was getting.

‘I assume kissing was not on the agenda of the lesson?’ He brushed some of his hair out of his face.

‘Well, if you have any tips–’ she tugged at the bottom of her shirt. A nervous habit, probably, but all Eddie could think about was how he wanted that material as far away from her as possible.

‘You’re joking, right?’ She must have been. The kiss, though brief, had been… he felt alive after it. His chest was tight as he caught his breath. ‘Fuck, c’mere.’ He pulled her right back. It might have only been one kiss, but it had been more than enough for him. He was already hooked.

♤

His lips were slightly chapped, but not in any way to make you feel uncomfortable. Nothing that some chapstick before going out into the cold couldn’t solve. You could smell the bitter beer he had just drank, and despite the drink having been cooled, it brought a warmth out in you. This heat swam over your cheeks and the parts of you that he held close. His hands were now back to playing with your shirt. The material was creeping up over your stomach, up up up…

♤

‘Can you take your shirt off first, please?’ she asked nervously once the second kiss parted. Her small voice sent sparks flying down Eddie’s body, directly to his dick.

‘Yeah, ‘course.’ All he could do was smile. She shuffled down his legs to give him space and remove the shirt. There was no way she didn’t feel how tight he was getting in his trousers, but she didn’t show any reaction to it, eyes focused on his chest. Eddie looked down at himself. He had almost forgotten about those.

‘You have piercings?’

He kept on forgetting to update his pictures on the website. It was such a hassle. Taking the time to plan it all in, preferably with someone else, so he could have some action shots. There was the editing, and then he would have to send them into the office so someone could actually upload them… he just couldn’t be bothered. As much as he was meant to keep his clients aware of what they were paying for, it was selfish of him to love their surprised reactions. Just now, the way her eyes immediately locked in on them in surprise. How her hand lightly fought against reaching for him.

‘You can touch them. It doesn’t hurt.’ He took her hand and placed it right over his chest. She immediately regained control over her body, and her finger lightly traced over the silver bar. Eddie’s body tightened for a second in bliss. ‘See? It feels fucking good, actually.’ He hadn’t meant to whisper the words out or for them to be so shaky. It was supposed to be a light joke to keep the tension away, yet it pulled the atmosphere down to something intense and sultry. Hopefully, it wouldn’t scare her away.

But she smiled and leaned in again for a featherlight kiss. Fuck, she could kiss. It was like a gift from the gods themselves. A little piece of heaven. If this was how she kissed every guy, Eddie couldn’t comprehend how they didn’t line up for more. And then her hand kept moving, slowly tracing the ink on his body. Her fingernails grazed over the drawings. Perhaps it was a placebo, but he had always considered the tattoos to be more sensitive than the rest of him. The soft touches made him shake in need of her.

‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked, nearly out of breath, mind spiralling with everything he wanted to do to her. He couldn’t keep it in a straight line anymore. Meanwhile, he was supposed to be the professional here. Meanwhile, she expected him to teach her… he was absolutely fucked.

And then her following words only made his situation worse.

‘Just tell me what to do, Eddie.’ Somehow, he missed the exact moment when her lips travelled down to his jaw. It must have been some kind of joke– there was no way this incredible woman did not know what she was doing.

‘Fuck, baby.’ He groaned. He actually groaned. Eddie never did that during his sessions. It just wasn’t something he thought he could do with his clients. It turns out he had never been this turned on by any of them.

It made sense. How often did he think up hour scenarios before meeting the ladies? How often did he imagine he was with someone else? He had thought that maybe, because of the rules of his job and the frequency of his sessions, that maybe sex just wasn’t really anything for him. Not that he didn’t enjoy his job or regretted ever going into the business… money was good, and he was good at what he did. Yet, it was still a job. And jobs could often tire a person out. Maybe he had become desensitised to it all.

But this proved all of his theories wrong. He was entirely in the moment. Aware of everything that was happening between him and her. Nothing between them was new, or necessarily exciting, and yet it felt like nothing he had felt before. Nothing but kissing sent him down a road he could never return from.

And now she wanted him to tell her what to do. Yes, in the teaching context, he understood. But was she even aware that this would not be that far from the ordinary things he did in his sessions if they had just removed that context? Just add in some leather and handcuffs.

‘Take your clothes off, baby.’ He spoke softly, not wanting to roll back into his regular role. This wasn’t that, he reminded himself. He didn’t want it to be that.

When she started to pull her shirt up, he quickly took over. ‘No, wait, go slower. Take your time.’ Fuck, please take your time, he internally cried out. He didn’t want this night to end. It all felt like a dream, and he didn’t want to get dressed and wake up. He didn’t want to leave because once he did, coming back was not an option for him.

♤

You followed his instruction, slowly pulling your shirt over your head. Focusing on him. Looking at him prevented you from getting too much into your head. After all, it was hard to think or worry about anything with someone like him, half-naked, under you. You traced his tattoos. They were all black and white, the ink scratchy and uneven on most as if done at home.

Not precisely stick and poke, but not from a studio either. A pull at your heartstrings made you think of how much money you had paid. How much he needed that money… See, hard to think of your own insecurities when looking at him.

Eddie moved up to lean on his elbow. You were sitting still for too long; he must have sensed something was off. With a gentle touch, he stroke your bare skin. You were both shirtless, though you still had your bra on; his hand was sneakily moving up to the strap over your back, ready to unclasp it.

‘What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart.’ It must be some kind of trick he was pulling, something he learned over his experience on the job because of the way your whole body fluttered at the sound of the little nickname… it must be a trick. But there was nothing you could complain about either.

Once again, your mouth worked faster than your brain, and before you could tell yourself to shut up, you answered with the first question that came to your mind. ‘Do you do anything else… besides this?’ a second later, before he even had the time to react, you butted in with your own response. ‘That is probably way out of bounds. Sorry–’

‘Only a little bit,’ he was taking it lightly with a chuckle. Clearly, with no intention of stopping what the two of you had been doing, he littered your jaw and neck with kisses between his answer. ‘I’m in a band. But garage gigs don’t exactly pay the bills.’ You felt him tremble with a laugh against your neck. Eddie had by then sat up and kept you in place on his lap with a tight hold. As he kept kissing you, you let your body speak for itself, closing your eyes and trusting your instincts. Somehow you knew what felt right and what didn’t. Your hips moved of their own accord, grinding against Eddie. You tried not to think about what you were doing, knowing you would just start to freak out and freeze. Instead, you thought of Eddie on stage with his band, imagining him in all the different positions, trying to figure out which instrument fit him best.

As if he could read your mind, he said, ‘I play guitar.’ His hand had now officially made its mark on your bra, grabbing the backstrap, and wringing it until it unclasped.

‘That’s hot.’

‘Yeah?’ The bra snapped open. Eddie took it upon himself to slide the straps off your arms. You threw the item off to the side of the room, and Eddie didn’t waste a second to bring his attention to your breast.

♤

Had no one ever touched her properly?

All that Eddie did was kiss her tits, and she was almost coming undone. He felt a pang of terrible guilt on behalf of his entire sex. How the fuck did no one make her feel good… not only that. How did men make her feel as if she was the problem? That she had to step her game up and learn. If he ever got his hands on one of those assholes– woah. Calm down.

♤

‘Yeah,’ you gasped out the small word. ‘So- so hot.’ It was hard to keep a sentence straight when he had his full attention on your nipples.

One preoccupying his lips, while the other was cupped by his large hand. He was rough in his touches, pulling and squeezing, but not in any way that felt too much. On the contrary, you needed more. More of him.

He switched from one breast to the other in his movements. Then when he pulled away, he kissed you again. Then, he looked you in the eyes, a false seriousness covering his features.

‘So, let that be lesson one: foreplay. Extremely important before any kind of sex.’

‘But… I didn’t do anything?’ You blinked. It was true, wasn’t it? He had been doing most of the work; meanwhile, you hadn’t done anything for him. But Eddie frowned.

‘Oh, baby, you did plenty.’ His hand reached down to his own trousers. ‘You feel this?’ When you hesitated, he took your hand to guide it over his crotch, where you could clearly feel the outline of his dick. ‘Yeah, that’s all you, sweetheart.’ He was so cocky, so confident.

He kept on talking. ‘And let me ask you one more question.’ For this, he leaned in to almost whisper the words against your hot skin. ‘Are you wet?’

‘I don’t know.’

Eddie clicked his tongue in disapproval. ‘I think you do know, but let me check then, hmm?’ You weren’t sure how he did it, but he brought you underneath his body in one fell swing. You were now lying on the bed, and he slid down to sit on his knees at the end of the bed. ‘Professional opinion and all, right?’

‘Right.’ You hid your face in your hands to laugh. What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

Eddie reached for your hands, making you look down at him.

‘I wanna see your pretty face.’ But, God, speaking of pretty faces, his smile might have been one of the most beautiful sights in the world. He could have been a model, probably… and yet…

You didn’t want to look at him, however, when he started unzipping your trousers. The button opened up, and you heard the zipper move down, releasing the tension of the material around your waist. Eddie tapped your hip, telling you to move them up. Once you did so, with one big tug, he pulled the pants down to the middle of your thighs with one big tug. It took him three more to get them off entirely. The next second, the trousers were in the corner of the room, along with your shirts.

‘Oh, baby,’ his syllables were long, dramatic, playful. ‘You are fucking soaking through these.’ You felt your back stiffen at the feeling of his fingers on you. Two, his pointer and middle fingers, slowly tracing down over the thin cotton. Then he’d roll them back up, letting his knuckles press the slit.

‘Fuck, can’t wait to taste you– can I taste you, baby?’ He asked, eyes pleading you for it.

‘You don’t have to,’ you responded. The air in the room seemed to be turning colder and sent shivers over your arms.

‘I know I don’t have to.’ Eddie scoffed, teasing. ‘Let that be lesson two then: if a guy doesn’t want his mouth near your pussy, then you shouldn’t come anywhere near his dick.’ He growled out the last words, and his hand had such a tight grip on your panties, that, with one quick move, he tore the material in two.

♤

‘Eddie!’ she shouted.

‘Shit, sorry.’ He got too carried away in everything. ‘I’ll pay you back.’ That’s when he glanced down; it was like his memory was instantly wiped. ‘Oh, fuck yes. Fuck you got the cutest pussy I’ve ever seen.’ He left a kiss a few inches above it and slowly made his way down. His fingers returned to the slow up-and-down motion he had done before, and each time, he let himself go deeper. Her body tensed up, and breathing hitched in her throat until it came out in a soft moan.

‘That’s right,’ Eddie said before one last kiss on the most crucial spot. And this kiss lasted. After a few seconds, he practically made out with her clit, as his fingers entered her.

That is when her hand reached for his hair. The touch was enough to make him moan against her.

‘Oh fuck,’ she moaned loud, eyes tightly shut in pleasure. Keeping his fingers deep within her, Eddie mused:

‘That’s right, baby. Does it feel good?’

‘So good.’ She dug her nails through his hair, nudging him on to continue whatever he was doing.

♤

Even though you had not meant to pull at his hair, it was all much more of an impulsive action, Eddie groaned out against. He pulled you in closer, sending the vibrations from his body right through yours.

You had expected, thinking up this plan of hiring someone to teach you sex, that it would be much more formal. That the guy would give you step-by-step instructions on how to do things, tell you everything directly, and you would follow. Maybe that is how it would be with anyone else, but with Eddie, he made you feel it. Without saying a word, you knew how to listen to him. Through his reactions, you knew what to do. His moans encouraged you to pull his hair, to close your thighs around him. Meanwhile, your response spurred him to go, let his fingers move harder, his tongue slick deeper through you.

‘Fuck, Eddie, fuck.’ You felt that feeling inside you, the build-up. It wasn’t familiar, for you had only experienced it very few times, mostly on your own. This tension deep within you. It grew, quickly reaching its tipping point.

Eddie’s free hand fastened itself onto your leg; he seemed to have lost himself in you. Then his eyes moved up, locking right with yourself. A part of you wanted to take a picture of what you saw in front of you and cherish the memory forever. His honey-brown eyes glazed in need of you. This spark of all-knowing deviltry.

Your whole body tightened as you felt it coming, tighter and tighter, like a rubber band ready to snap.

But instead, Eddie let go of the band as he pulled away from you to accompany your last moan of his name.

A whimper left your mouth, and pleads were ready to follow it, begging him to not stop. Not now. Just a few more seconds.

‘Lesson number three,’ he wiped his mouth– which was glistening in the room's warm light– with his thumb but never wiping the smug smile off his face. ‘Tease, tease and tease. The longer you keep them waiting, the sweeter their reward will be.’

At this point, you could not imagine it being so sweet, as all you felt was a horribly empty feeling, deflating your insides by the second.

‘Everyone likes that?’ You asked.

‘Hmm, good question.’ Eddie got up to remove his belt. He made a spectacle out of it, sliding the whole strap from between the loops, then throwing it down to the ground. ‘It does probably depend on a person, what their limits are. How much they can last and take.’ Like a showman, he made you watch. Made you wait. ‘I’m sure some people would rather just get on to the final act.’

‘Not me?’ you asked as he pulled his jeans down along with his boxers.

Just like the picture.

‘Hmm,’ with a pondering expression, he fell down onto the mattress beside you. ‘Not you.’

‘What makes you say that?’ It took all your willpower to keep looking into his eyes. He, however, wasn’t as courteous. His eyes roamed over your naked body as his hand found its way back between your legs. A quick snap. He slapped your clit lightly, but it was enough to immediately sent a spark through you, nearly bringing you back to the spot of tension.

‘Just a hunch.’ He slapped you again.

♤

She was so fucking sensitive. Like a little porcelain doll.

For good measure, and the fact he couldn’t get enough of how her body moved when encountering intense pleasure, he gave that pussy a third and final snap. Maybe he would have kept going, he certainly had not felt like stopping any time soon, but it was when her hand reached for his. Fingers around his wrist. Her eyes closed lightly, mouth parted just a tiny bit, enough for her to whisper his name.

‘Eddie.’

‘What’s up, sweetheart,’ he leaned in his lips almost on her cheek again. She didn’t respond. ‘Lesson four: always use words. I don’t know what you really want unless you tell me.’ He left sloppy kisses over her face as he dictated. ‘So? What. Do. You. Want?’ He punctuated each word with a touch

‘Fuck me.’

‘Of course.’ He had expected her to play around with the words, make him pull it out of him, but no. So, he got up and reached for the wallet in his jeans. He should have checked sooner. This had been too much of a risk, but luckily, the silver foil stuck out immediately.

She had sat up again to watch him rip the packaging open.

‘You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now,’ he chuckled to himself whilst pulling the condom out. ‘I have a whole box in my bag with the rest of my stuff.’ He had planned to get it out of his car after meeting her at the bar, but then everything had gone a bit to shit, hadn’t it?

‘I have a box… in my bag,’ she said, for some reason almost embarrassed.

‘Someone’s eager, huh?’ Perhaps he didn’t help, but really, he was talking about himself. Eddie could immediately imagine himself being with her for the rest of the night, the entire fucking week if he could, but something told him that after this— that would most likely be it. It was better not to stretch a good thing out. She paid for him to teach her the basics, not exhaust her to her limits, perhaps scare her off of sex forever.

‘No, I just–’ did she notice he was joking? Either way, she hid her face in her hands, laughing at herself. Eddie took the moment that she wasn’t eating him alive with her eyes to get a few pumps in. it wasn’t even needed; he was rock hard; it was just a routine at this point. He let his head roll back a little back as his hand moved up and down, then got on with putting the condom on.

♤

‘How should we uhm— how do you want—’ you looked for a good way to phrase it as Eddie got back into bed.

‘Anything particular in mind you wanted to get a hang of?’ he asked. You shook your head no. Stupid. You should have done your research. Come more prepared.

But could anything prepare you for Eddie? It didn’t seem likely. You could have come in with a four-volume guide, and he would have probably thrown it out the window and shown you a whole new world.

‘Then we’ll just see where the night takes us, why don’t we?’ He positioned himself on top of you. Arms on each side of your shoulders, stomach hovering over yours. As you both breathed in, you could feel his muscles. He put his weight on one of his forearms as the other hand reached back down between you, moving his fingers in a circular, steady motion.

Too occupied with how good his touch on you felt, there was no real thought going through your mind when you pulled his face closer to you, kissing him deeply. Your noses pushed against one another. Your fingers rooted down between his hair.

Eddie spread your legs wider apart, creating the perfect position for himself.

‘You ok?’ he asked, lips practically still on yours.

‘Mhm.’ You hummed, but Eddie clicked his tongue, pulling away a few inches to look at you a bit more focused.

‘Mm, remember rule four?’

You didn’t want to remember. You didn’t want to think. All you wanted, needed, was him inside you. But you answered: ‘use your words? Let them know what you want.’

‘Good girl,’ he kissed you softly. ‘It also goes for consent. Probably should have made that the first lesson, but what can you do? Make clear what and when you want something. If the guy doesn’t listen– I don’t know, kick him in the nuts.’

‘Got it.’ You nodded.

‘So, let’s try it out.’ He didn’t move, just waited for you to speak.

You took a deep breath. ‘I want you to fuck me, Eddie.’

‘There we go. Feels good, doesn’t it?’ His hand returned to rubbing your clit as he moved around above you, getting in the proper position. ‘Quick lesson five: it’s fucking hot when girls say shit like that. So don’t be afraid to get dirty.’ Slowly and carefully, he let himself sink into you. His length filled you up, spread your walls. It was a perfectly tight fit, making it impossible to hold anything in.

‘Dirty and loud.’ Eddie stayed still, letting you get used to the feeling of him. ‘Don’t hold it in, baby, ok?’

‘O-ok.’ Your breath was shaky. Once used to him, you placed your hand on his chest. His hot breath burned your skin.

Eddie kept a slow pace, letting both of you ease into the rhythm of being together, but eventually, you felt your body loosen up. Finally, it wasn’t enough anymore. Was he holding himself in? Could he tell you needed more but was waiting for you to tell him? Teach you your lesson.

‘More,’ the word was nearly just an exhale, but it was enough for Eddie. He kissed you passionately with a smile, and he plunged deeper inside you. From then on, his thrusts were harder, faster. He grabbed your leg and pulled it over himself. The new change brought in a whole new angle, letting you feel him through your entire body.

The pleasure was intense, and beautiful. Your mind was scattered, so you didn’t even feel your teeth graze over your lips, locking in your voice. But Eddie noticed.

♤

The second he caught it, something in Eddie’s mind switched on. As much as he tried to contain that part of himself, keep it away from her, he couldn’t. It was fucking primal.

He thrust harder than he did before. His hand found its way to her cheek, squeezing it– not too tight, he pulled himself back quickly, but strong enough to show her he meant it– and his words came out in a growl.

‘What did I tell you, baby? Don’t hold it in.’ A few more deep thrusts left both their bodies shaking with each move. ‘I want to hear every pretty sound that comes out of your mouth.’ His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, and, without another word exchanged, she parted those beautiful lips and granted him access.

She fucking moaned around it and sucked her own juices off it. Could she taste the sweetness? He hoped she could. He was jealous of every person that ever got to taste it, but he quickly let that thought sink away as he had more pressing questions.

‘Now, where did you learn that?’ He smiled when he pulled his thumb away, his hips only slightly rearranging the pace as he spoke calmly.

‘Sorry, was that wrong?’ She blinked. Genuine fucking naivete. Eddie could barely hold it in anymore.

‘Only in the sense that it got me this close to blowing my load before you got even close.’ He quickly regained his speed.

From that point on, she didn’t hold back. Her moans were beautiful. The sound of his name comes directly from the centre of her pleasure was like hitting the jackpot. If only he could live off those cute noises, he’d be the wealthiest man on earth. The luckiest. The happiest.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

But shit were her tits a sight for sore eyes. Looking at them, he couldn’t go a second without touching them. For a moment, he got scared he was too rough, but then the claws came out– almost literally. Her nails dug into his back. It would leave marks, and Eddie couldn’t wait to see them when he looked in the mirror the following day.

‘Eddieee,’ it came out so shaky, so desperate. He could tell she was getting close. It took much less than expected. He had a thousand things in his head that he still wanted to do with her, show her, but even he realised then it was wishful thinking. His own words from minutes ago reverberated in his mind.

You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now.

He was ready to burst, and it only took a few minutes in missionary. Usually, he could go for ages.

Then again, he hadn’t been this turned on in a long time.

‘You close, baby?’ He asked and almost hoped to hear yes; Eddie didn’t know how much longer he could last, and if he came before her– he could never live that down.

But she was lost in him, too far down to appropriately respond. That wasn’t good. Eddie slowed down a bit. ‘Hey, hey, you alright?’

♤

‘Yes,’ you took a deep breath, ‘please don’t stop. Not now.’ He was making you feel incredible. In a matter of a few minutes, you felt like you had reached the seventh heaven. Absolute bliss.

But perhaps you didn’t feel how much you actually felt. As good as it was, this overwhelming sensation pulled you away from everything around you. When Eddie brought you back, with the softness of his voice and the touch of his hands, only then you realised how far down you had been.

‘Are you sure? We can take a break.’ Eddie’s eyes searched your face for any signs of trouble, but before he could spiral, you halted him. A few deep breaths were all it took for you to be present.

‘I’m ok. Thank you.’ You kissed him. Whatever anyone would say if they heard about your plan, this was how you knew you had made the right choice. Or perhaps how you knew that the universe wasn’t always against you. Tonight, it brought you Eddie. Whether it was a freak accident or not, you would never regret the choices that led to it.

Eddie continued what he was doing, giving you all his attention. To all of you. You didn’t feel like an inch of your body went down forgotten. Meanwhile, he was all you could think about. It was like the world around you dissolved. A fire could have burned down the entire room, and you don’t think you would have even noticed. Not with Eddie’s cock deep inside you. He didn’t falter. Each thrust was full of him, hitting the perfect spot. Mind-numbing, toe-curling and…

Soon, you felt that feeling again. That tightness inside you. This time even tighter than previously. It was to be expected that Eddie knew what he was talking about. The longer the wait, the better the reward. And to think only a little time had passed since the two of you entered the hotel room. Not much time at all compared to how much you wished you could be with him. Was it insane? Probably, but you didn’t care.

You just wanted him, and you would take as much as he could give you.

♤

Eddie could feel how close she was.

It had definitely scared him when he saw how far down she had been, already blaming himself for taking it too far. He had been ready to pull the plug and return her all the money. It didn’t matter if her payment had actually gone to his account; he would make sure that his fuck ups were compensated.

But she was fine. Like a little firecracker that she was, she kissed him, wiping his whole mind clear of anything but her. Her and that sweet, sweet taste.

It didn’t take much longer for breathing to break up in quick succession. Moans got louder, likely uncontrolled, and her grip on his tighter. Her nails dug into his shoulder just as he loved it.

‘C’mon baby, come on.’ He encouraged her to lose all of her control. Lose herself to the pleasure. She needed to know how it was to be treated right. He needed her to know. And he didn’t know how much more he could keep it going. His last few thrusts still reached the deepest parts of her, and got everything out of her he wanted, but he felt himself lose his momentum. With each second, it was getting harder to concentrate.

‘Oh my god-’ she whimpered as she released underneath him with a high-pitched scream at that. As much as he wanted to hear all of it, he kissed her to mute it. There was no need for the neighbours to get concerned.

Though from all the other noises they made, from how the bed shook and banged against the wall, they would make the correct assumption.

Not much later, as she was still coming undone, Eddie let himself reel in the pleasure. Then, stilled within her, his lips on her neck now, he came. When he pulled away, he wished he could have left a mark on her, but he knew that would be a step too far.

‘Thank you’ were the first words to come out of her mouth when he discarded the full condom in the trash. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He didn’t like feeling naked post-sex, but he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. Maybe she expected more. If so, he could give it to her, but he just wasn’t sure–

‘It’s my pleasure,’ he sat on the edge of the bed, just in reach to place his hand on her leg. They were both covered in sweat, naturally, but the cold was taking over. ‘You should get under the covers.’ The last thing he wanted was for her to get sick.

‘Right.’ She pulled at the corner of the blanket– always a much more arduous task than necessary in hotel rooms when they’re tucked in deeper than the pits of hell. As soon as she pulled the white sheet over her body, Eddie regretted his choice of words. It was probably the last time he would have seen her naked, and he didn’t even take a moment to appreciate what he had in front of him.

He found his underwear, which was almost kicked under the bed. When he resurfaced, her face was full of worry. The furrow of her brows was enough to tell him that.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as he covered himself up.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘I didn’t do anything. I asked you to help me figure this out, and we just–’

‘No, hey, hey.’ Eddie practically jumped into bed next to her. Cupped her face in his hands and made sure she looked at him as he spoke. ‘First of all, if this is how you feel, I should be the one to be sorry since I clearly didn’t do my job. So I’m sorry. But you have no reason to think you didn’t do well. This was amazing.’ He could only hope she knew just how much he meant his words. That she could trust a complete stranger with words as much as she did with their bodies.

‘No, Eddie, it’s not that you didn’t teach me anything, but I– there’s still so much I don’t know. Fuck, I still have no idea how to suck a guy off.’

Eddie cursed under his breath. Just from those words, he could feel himself twitching against his boxers. This girl was going to be the death of me. She kept on talking.

‘Would it be ok if we do this again? Not as an accident this time, I will book you.’

He wanted to say yes so badly. But he had to keep his mind clear as he answered. ‘I don’t think that will be a good idea.’ fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He wanted to punch himself in the gut.

♤

‘I try to keep a strict one-time, no repeating clients policy. It makes the job much easier,’ Eddie explained.

‘No, I understand.’ Having to do this with the number of people he does… you couldn’t imagine how that was. How other people would be with him, and what could have happened for him to make such a rule in the first place.

‘I would say you should try Steve for real, but I don’t believe you need any “sex lessons”.

‘Right,’ you scoffed away the comment, but Eddie was persistent.

‘I mean it. I can tell that you have a whole talent in there for this shit. You just need to find the right guy to bring it out in you because whoever you’ve been in the past, clearly, they weren’t doing it right. Then you will learn everything else you want to learn by yourself. Basically like you did now.’ He gave you a kind smile, and you tried to replicate it.

‘I did need you.’ You couldn’t look at him as you said it.

‘Ehhh– not so sure about that. For a while, I thought you just wanted me for my body.’ He fell over to his back, hand on his chest as if he had just been shot. ‘That shit can hurt, you know.’ He was so dramatic and made you laugh so easily. You had never expected anything like that to happen that night.

♤

A body to adore was one thing, but he might miss her smile even more.

‘Are you feeling alright?’

‘Why do you keep asking me that?’ She blinked. Eddie pushed down the anger he felt at all those morons that had not treated her right before.

‘Let that be your final lesson then,’ he pushed down another instinct, this time to make a cheesy reference that she might not get. There was no need to make the mood weird or awkward now. Eddie cleared his throat. ‘Lesson… what number are we on, six?– Lesson six: aftercare. Just check up on yourself to see if you’re able to carry on afterwards. While always quite vital, the more intense the session, the more important the aftercare. It keeps you stable.’

She nodded in understanding. ‘So, how would that look?’

‘Well, let’s see…. Are you sore? Do you need anything?’ Once again, he was mad at himself for going into this without his usual stuff. While his bag was mostly filled with toys that might be a bit too much for her, he also had plenty of shit to make her feel better if needed.

‘No, I don’t think so.’

‘Ok, do you need something to drink? Eat?’ Before she even replied, Eddie lunged for the can of soda she had discarded on the desk opposite the bed. The bubbles would have mostly flattened by now, but it was still a liquid to drink.

‘Not really,’ she said as he handed her the can and took a small sip. ‘Ok, maybe a little bit.’ They both smiled as she emptied the can of its last chug.

‘More?’ Eddie asked as he tried to read it off of her.

‘No, I’m good.’ Just like before, she started tapping on the can. Now empty, it sounded even more hollow.

‘And was everything alright? I was scared I might have gone too far at one point.’

♤

The way you could see the genuine concern and worry in Eddie’s eyes made you want to wrap your arms around him, kiss him, and never let him go. To think that a few hours ago, neither of you was even aware of the other’s existence. That you weren’t supposed to be aware, that it was all a giant coincidence. And that after tonight… that would be all that it ever was.

Here was this fantastic man taking care of you better than any other guy had.

Sure, you paid him to do it, but something in you, call it a freaky instinct, told you that that was just who Eddie was. He wanted to take care of you.

Maybe that’s why he went into the business. Who could really tell?

‘It was perfect,’ you told him because it was.

‘Ok, good.’ He nodded, smiling shyly. It was the first time that night that you saw a crack in the confident front of the guy.

‘Really, thank you.’ You reached for his hand, and his eyes followed it. He looked as your fingers lazily intertwined while you watched him.

‘You, uhm, you should probably go to the bathroom. Make sure you wash all of me out. Make it a standard practice, really.’

‘Will do,’ your voice wasn’t hoarse, yet you whispered. It suddenly became hushed in the room. It could have been quiet all this time, but it was then that you grew aware of it.

You didn’t want to leave the bed, or Eddie, just yet, but you knew you should listen to his professional advice. Everything he had told you so far felt like the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe you also knew of them already, maybe did it too, but it only made sense when it came from Eddie. ‘Don’t leave yet, ok? I want to say goodbye.’ The idea of him being gone when you came back felt gut-wrenching for many reasons, but all unknown.

All Eddie did was nod.

When you returned, he had just put his shirt back on. His belt was in his jeans loops but not yet fastened. Was it weird to watch him get dressed? It felt more like a thing real couples did, which you were far from. It felt stranger doing so whilst you were still completely naked, so you grabbed the fluffy white bathrobe on the bathroom shelf and pulled it on, tying it tightly around your waist.

‘That’s me then.’ Eddie scratched the back of his neck, looking around, most likely checking if he didn’t forget something. A part of you hoped he did. He would realise it only hours later and rush back to find it. That this wasn’t the last time the two of you would meet.

A girl could wish.

‘Right.’ You put on a brave face as you made your way to the door. ‘Thank you again. For everything.’

All Eddie did in response was nod with a tight-lipped smile.

The door was open now. He was already on the threshold. Compared to the soft glow of your room, the corridor's light felt jarring to your eyes. Just like that, it was over.

You could not believe this was the end. It ended as quickly as it started. A whole whirlwind of… everything, really.

Before you could stop yourself, one last question burst through your lips.

‘Is Eddie your real name?’ You immediately regretted your entire life, couldn’t believe you had done that. ‘I’m so sorry, just ignore me. I don’t know why I said that–’

But Eddie beamed. He took your hand in his. ‘As real as anything tonight was.’ and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. He started walking before your wrist even hit your hip.

You couldn’t watch him walk away, so you closed the door and your eyes before he went too far. A minute later, you cursed to yourself.

The whole aftercare thing- You never got to ask if he was ok.

Fuck.

the end.

thank you so much for reading!! if you want more of where this came from, check out my masterlist. - also made a lil playlist based on this fic, told through taylor swift songs

and please support your (not so) local creators by liking AND reblogging.

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you are also more than welcome to join the taglist. right here.

Eddie (smut, 18+) taglist part 1:

@spiderrrling @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsx @ssanjuniperoo @nxrdamp @meaganjm @mischiefmanagers @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreads @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @kbakery @lizzylynch1 @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-x @sweetpeapod @the-a-word-2214 @eddiemunsonbby @mydearzero @overthewhiteclouds @wroteclassicaly @groupies-do-it-better @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington @billyhargrovesprincess @annikin-im-panicin @kaitieskidmore1 @yesv01 @princess-aries

#eddie munson #eddie munson au #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #fanfiction #imagine #fanfic #fic #smut #escort!eddie munson #escort!eddie

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jensettermandu · 4 months

Text

la douleur exquise - kim minji

genre; smut, angst

pairing; g!p minji x female reader

conetent; fingering (reader receiving), some begging, praising, a bit of spanking, slightly rough sex, idk if i missed something

synopsis; minji finally finds the only moment left to tell the simply complicated words to the girl who already knows. she's already told her everything with her eyes, and somehow they are both aware of it all. the beauty of being too early, but also being too late, with no good moment actually existing.

wc; 10.9k+

masterlist

Minji has always had this one problem.

Love.

Not as cliché as it sounds even if it is because she had no problem with loving, it was just with who she fell in love with and how she fell.

She fell too easily or thought that she was in love only to realise it would all be an infatuation that then passed. It was always the same thing of jumping in with both feet without even checking if she truly liked the waters or just found them mesmerising for the moment and then scurried away after truly feeling them.

The more she thought about it, she may never really have been in love.

Probably not until now that these waters had left her looking at them for a while longer instead of jumping in right away. They had left her wanting to feel around them, learn them, to know exactly how to be in those waters to not cause any accidents. To not scurry away. To stay in them for long.

The more time passed the more mesmerised she felt and she was quite sure it was what it was. Minji was in love with the wrong waters, ones that had clear warning signs of not wanting anyone to intrude on them because the tide was high and the moment simply wasn’t right.

She just couldn’t help the way the corners of her lips raised as she listened to those calming waves, eyes stuck on the glimmering of them. It was more than just mesmerising. It was like a vacation that she never wanted to leave because she would never find waters as beautiful and as good to swim in again.

It was quite obvious and she knew that Y/n had probably figured it out because the girl didn’t let her say those three words. Every time she had tried tonight, Y/n diverted the conversation to something different right away. It was fine because she could wait and she would wait until she would have the chance to say them.

It was selfish.

Not only selfish but scary.

It had been three months since they started to see each other.

They’ve been going with this routine for three months now.

They would see each other on mostly Thursdays, and Saturdays, at times Tuesdays too. Those were usually days when Y/n was free and Minji always made sure to be free on those days just to see Y/n. Otherwise, she had no other way of seeing her.

They didn’t go to the same college.

They didn’t see each other just to hang out.

They were only attached for one reason.

So with that, she took every chance she had to meet the girl she was supposed to be in bed with with no strings attached.

It was fine. She was sure that it was fine that she was in love because whenever she looked at Y/n she was sure the girl was in love too. Minji could see her reflection always glimmer in Y/n’s eyes. The girl was just scared and Minji would wait until she no longer would be, but time was running out and she knew that she couldn’t wait any longer and had to say the truth to Y/n.

She knew where she had gone wrong.

It was the usual place as they sat at the diner to eat before they headed back to Minji’s apartment that she shared with her flatmate. Her place was closer. Or maybe Y/n just didn’t want to take Minji home. Either was fine as long as she spent the night with her.

They would sit and talk about everything and nothing, things that weren’t supposed to hold meaning to them because their relationship held no meaning to it. Yet Minji found meaning in the nothingness that was everything to her because she cared about Y/n’s day. She cared about what the girl had planned even if she wasn’t part of it. She cared about these things and always listened attentively even if Y/n maybe didn’t do the same or find the same meaning in meaningless conversations between them.

Y/n would always eat pancakes, those fluffy ones with fruit and it seemed like a perfect meal despite it not being breakfast. It was perfect because Minji liked the way Y/n enjoyed them or maybe she would only enjoy them since she would be picky with her food. Minji would take whatever, too busy with listening to the vixen so by the time they would order she’d take the first thing she would lay her eyes on in the menu.

Tonight she had tried a few times already, to start that conversation that was forbidden. A twitch in her eye every time Y/n managed to turn the conversation around so smoothly. A twitch of adoration at how amazing the girl in front of her was. Unable to get frustrated by it because she got lost in Y/n’s words before she could utter the one she wanted to say.

Each time Minji had insisted on paying and each time Y/n caved in at the end. Two broke students didn’t make one rich, but Minji didn’t mind spending a little more on these days. She’d pay and then they would leave the diner and make the walk through the busy city. Everyone would always be so caught up with themselves, but Minji was too caught up with the girl walking beside her.

She liked that Y/n let her hold her hand, maybe interlock their fingers at times.

She didn’t like that the girl would always be underdressed by not wearing a jacket because a hoodie was supposed to suffice in windy weather.

After the first few times, MInji had come up with a solution.

The older girl made sure to put on a t-shirt, a thick hoodie, and her current jacket which was a simple and slightly oversized dark jean jacket.

“You will get sick,” Y/n would try to argue when she offered her the jacket that she truly only brought for the girl since she had such thick layers on that she wasn’t even slightly prone to being cold. It was part of the routine now.

“I won’t, here.” She’d put it on her and Y/n would giggle.

“I swear, you’re doing it on purpose.” The vixen would point out while Minji would adjust her cap to try and hide the obviousness of her words that were true. She would try to shrug it off and tease Y/n right back.

“You’re not dressing warm enough purposely so you can borrow my jacket.”

She would look at how Y/n’s eyes would crinkle when she smiled that bashful smile, wordlessly admitting that she did do it on purpose. It warmed Minji and her warm hand would hold onto Y/n’s colder one, making sure to warm it for her, at times going as far as borrowing the pockets of her hoodie or zip-up. The tips of Y/n’s ears were always rosy with the tip of her nose and cheeks. Unless it wasn’t as cold. She would always make sure to warm her.

The vixen was the same height as her, but her figure was more petite and the jacket would fit her differently than Minji. It would be bigger on her, but she liked the way Y/n looked in her clothes. The younger still had one or two of Minji’s hoodies at her place and Minji never asked for them back. It created a sense of importance to know that Y/n maybe wore her clothes at times, that maybe she would think about her too when she would stumble upon Minji’s hoodie in her closet. The thought that Minji wasn’t the only one thinking about Y/n during her days away from her.

They would make it to the apartment complex, Minji still holding onto Y/n’s hand while leading the way up the stairs. Their routine never really changed. She wasn’t sure if she liked it or simply didn’t mind it. Well, as long as it was with Y/n. There were a few things that maybe were less enjoyable with the routine now that she knew what she felt for the girl.

“Is your flatmate home?” The girl would ask almost every time.

“Yeah, but it’s fine, Hanni is busy in her room.” Minji’s friend whom she shared the apartment had come to an agreement with her over what it would look like if they brought someone over. Usually, Hanni wouldn’t be at home or she would spend the evening in her room. Y/n and Minji would be in her room too either way, but it was mostly to avoid any awkward run-ins.

She wasn’t sure if Y/n would want to be introduced to her friends.

They knew her almost as well as Minji did though but Y/n didn’t know them all too well.

Minji had maybe talked about Y/n to her friends a little too much for someone who she was seeing with no strings attached. They didn’t know that because she was afraid they would understand what had happened. Scared that they would warn her and tell her to let go before she would get hurt. She didn’t need anyone’s pity, she only needed Y/n.

Love was scary.

Was one thing she realised.

The keys would always clatter and unlocking the door took a few seconds longer than when she got home alone. Y/n was a tease, her kisses on MInji’s neck made her forget how to use the keys, she loved them, they were always so soft and consoling whenever she thought of the consequences of finding comfort in Y/n.

“Minji…” Y/n dragged out, her hands slowly dragged over the soft and warm skin because her hands often found themselves under the older’s clothes. The vixen had always been more audacious than Minji and she liked that about her, it brought something different to her life that sometimes felt plain for a college student.

She tried to find her words but never did when Y/n grabbed hold of her hand and Minji’s face turned to the girl who was resting her chin on her shoulder. Y/n looked back at her with a teasing smile. “It’s not as hard as it looks, baby.” She was quite sure that these pet names were something Y/n called everyone, but they still made her flutter with more excitement than they maybe should make her feel. It just felt tender when it came from Y/n and she was more than just MInji, she was someone else with Y/n. She was someone who made her forget, she made Y/n feel better.

The vixen’s grey eyes flickered from the keyhole and to Minji, those brown eyes of the older one always holding that empty yet filled with emotions look. Those eyes were always on her whenever she looked at MInji. It didn’t matter if Y/n was looking somewhere else if they were watching a movie, or if they were walking along the sidewalks, whenever she looked up at Minji, the older one was already looking back at her.

It was still happening, Y/n broke the gaze for reasons Minji could read as if they were written on a paper right in front of her. She never really read people too well, but she never paid much attention to people as she had to Y/n. Y/n had become see-through glass and the girl was quite sure the younger wasn’t too fond of it.

There were many things Y/n wasn’t fond of.

Minji had listened to her troubled confessions and learnt that she was a difficult person yet she so easily fell for her.

They entered the apartment like they always did, it was silent, and the indication of her flatmate being at home was the shoes that stood by the door. However, her presence wasn’t acknowledged because Minji could only acknowledge Y/n by how blinded she was by her. It didn’t matter since Hanni was in her bedroom either way.

Like always they removed their shoes and found themselves in Minji’s bedroom which was always chilly before it would steam up and be hot. The girl would remove the jacket by then and discard it on the chair by the desk.

She watched Y/n who threw her phone on the bed. There had been a little break in their routine tonight. Aside from Minji trying to say those words to Y/n, the girl had been busy with her phone on certain occasions when it was suitable. The vixen saw Minji as a distraction so her phone rarely got taken out, but it did tonight and it had left Minji pulling on the sleeves of her hoodie while wondering if she wanted to know or not.

The look–

“Be back in a second?” Minji hummed at Y/n’s words, watching the girl quietly make it out of her bedroom.

Minji had learned Y/n's routine by now.

Routine.

That’s what she was, a part of Y/n’s routine.

The girl would quickly disappear into the bathroom for what was two to three minutes while Minji would get the movie ready that they never watched more than 15-20 minutes.

She knew why Y/n always wanted to settle on movies they never watched.

Otherwise, they would have to spend that time thinking and talking.

Talking to each other within the safe confines of a bedroom where things just spilled because there were no other eyes or ears. Minji knew Yn didn’t want that.

Silence without a movie to occupy the mind would leave them both thinking.

Minji would most likely be thinking about Y/n.

And Y/n?

She would be dwelling on what she was trying to escape by seeing Minji.

The vixen had spilled everything to her once already after they got drunk and went back to her place. Naked and within the confines Y/n broke down into a vulnerable mess that Minji did her best to hold together.

She broke the routine tonight as Y/n left for the bathroom and Minji’s curiosity got the best of her.

The girl removed her cap and hoodie and threw them onto the chair where her jacket was. Her feet led her to her bed and she slumped down on it, grabbing the remote that was lying on the white and fresh sheets she had changed today. The room was dimly lit by the bedside lamp she had forgotten to turn off.

However, she never found herself turning on the TV that was on the wall in front of her bed that stood in the corner of the room by the window. The blinds were down, and the moon and stars were not allowed to shine their lights on them. The faint buzz of the city was always heard, but with time she grew used to it and it worked as white noise, it let her fall asleep easier.

The girl glanced at Y/n’s phone screen which lit up again.

She knew that she shouldn’t but she did, Minji did so quickly too because she knew that it was wrong. The girl knew she would feel guilty, and she would feel even worse if Y/n had caught her. She did it quickly and managed to see the name and short text which was enough.

In the same way that waves washed over the shore and dragged everything back with them, the same feeling washed over Minji. It was as if the water filled her lungs, it was a warm feeling of distress and forlornness that dragged her to the bottom of a dark ocean after not being able to grab hold of anything to stop herself from drowning in the current that pulled her. The type that made her breathing heavier and her eyes sting with a warmth that didn’t come out because it stayed at bay. The type that left her to think that life was unfair, but at the same time she knew that she had no right to call something that was settled on unfair.

It made her exhale deeply through her nose to try and push those feelings of doom aside. To push the water out of her lungs. It was as if her life had come to an end and she had no clue she could love this way as she reclined and stared at her ceiling while letting the cold sheets under her turn warm.

She felt those waters drag her down further, the ones she was supposed to stay away from but never did because Y/n was so hard to stay away from despite all the warnings on her way there. The girl’s waves were too strong to run away from as they grabbed hold of Minji and pulled her right into her, it wasn’t even intentional. Each breath only turned heavier, filling her lungs more and more with that water that was getting coloured red because it cut through her skin the more she thought about it, the more her heart bled. Her body only grew heavier and let her sink further down in the blue.

Love hurt, didn’t it?

It was her last chance to say what she felt. There was no losing or winning anymore because whatever Y/n would say, if she was going back to her, Minji would lose either way. If she did, she would at least get it off her chest and know that she had told the girl how she felt.

“What’s this?” Minji asked, still slowly catching her breath as her fingers trailed along Y/n’s warm skin. The bed was hot, the steam still present in the air. She had seen the little tattoo right by her collarbone before; she could tell that it was a little Sakura tree branch which was the size of her forefinger which she traced it with.

Her eyes flickered away from the tattoo and to Y/n whose face looked unsure as it contorted into a frown and then relaxed before she frowned again and looked at Minji. Her eyes glazed from the alcohol after they had decided to drink over dinner and it got a bit out of hand while they had been talking. It was easy to lose track when they were with each other.

“Isn’t it obvious?” A chuckle followed, it wasn’t an amused one, it was one of condescending pain because it had taken over the girl’s life.

Minji had unfortunately fallen blind to it after drinking and gave her a nod of affirmation because it was obvious.

“Yeah, but does it mean anything?”

Well, maybe Y/n could have lied about what Minji asked, or maybe she shouldn’t have asked to begin with. Or she could have just brushed it off and said it meant nothing.

“Means Sakura–” Those tears were already welling up in the drunk girl's eyes and she would never let that happen. She would never be vulnerable around someone else aside from one person, but suddenly she got susceptible around Minji too because combined with the alcohol filling her veins it got stupidly and unwillingly easy. “Her name…while she got stars after saying they remind her of me.”

She pulled her into her comfort right away, but she wasn’t sure if she was as comforting to Y/n as the girl she got a tattoo for was to her.

Minji could tell Y/n was still hurting and she felt horrible after the girl slowly crumbled beside her. It had slipped her mind because she was so set on wanting Y/n that she forgot that the girl was still trying to escape something in the past. She had forgotten that she used to have someone else who was closer to her than Minji despite Minji being the one there for her now—even if it was to help her forget.

She forgot that she wasn’t the only one in love.

The tables had turned, hadn’t they?

Minji was the one hurting because of love now and not Y/n.

The difference was that she couldn’t blame anyone for this while Y/n could blame someone for her heartbreak.

Was it a heartbreak if it looked like they had started to text again?

Minji frowned, it was distress and discomfort at how heavy it made her feel.

It’s been six months though.

It had been two minutes.

“No movie?” Y/n questioned and Minji hummed, lifting her head from the duvet, slowly pushing herself up until she was propped up on her elbows. There was no movie and she got to see what happened when nothing was playing to distract her thoughts. She ended up drowning. A stupid movie was a buoy that kept her at bay and didn’t let her sink under the surface to drown in those thoughts.

The routine wasn’t the usual as she hadn’t managed to do it.

“Well…” She trailed off, the remote still in her hold and she glanced at the black screen of the TV on the wall.

“It’s whatever.”

The vixen was like a cat, the bed dipping lightly as she got on it and her agile body made it to Minji who pushed the remote aside. Her hand found its way to grab hold of Y/n’s hoodie who made it into her lap. It usually wasn’t whatever, they always filled the silence, but this time it was whatever. Maybe whatever was for the better at the moment.

Y/n’s lips tugged into a small smile as she gently pushed Minji to lay back down. Her hands grabbed hold of the ones that were on her hips and she intertwined their fingers before pinning them down beside the girl’s head. It always made Minji’s heart pick up in excitement because feeling Y/n’s lips wasn’t simply great, it always made her body tingle, it made her want more, but more than just Y/n’s body.

The girl leaned down, their eyes holding an electric field between them, zaps that pulled them to each other. Her hair fell down her shoulders, tickling the sides of Minji’s face, her sweet scent engulfed her in a comfort blanket and her breath gently tickled her lips.

She lifted her head just enough and it pulled Y/n fully into her. Her lips fell against her, it was like falling through clouds, the girl smiling into the kiss because of the eagerness behind each of Minji’s kisses. The way the older never really wanted to pull away. She could only kiss her behind closed doors so there was no reason to pull away when she finally got to kiss Y/n. It made her world crumble in the best ways possible as it went under and flipped her into a utopic world.

She gave Y/n’s hands a little squeeze, her eyes closed and her head tilting to get deeper, to swallow the drug that Y/n was whole. Her tongue slowly pushed between those plump lips. It always drew out small sighs, somewhere between moans out of Y/n whenever their tongues met. The vixen was hard to resist and made Minji squirm slightly under her at the growing tension.

Y/n pulled away with a breathless chuckle, escaping Minji who didn’t manage to catch her lips again. Her lips left wet and parted as she stared up at Y/n with panting breaths falling from her lips.

Their hands got untangled as Y/n leaned over. “Do you take Polaroids in bed?” She asked with a giggle after her eyes fell on the Polaroid camera on top of the bedside table. Minji tilted her head back and watched Y/n reach over for it.

“No–I was changing the film.” Y/n hummed and bit her lower lip, Minji’s fingers tangled in the loose jeans the girl had on.

“What’re you doing?” She questioned, about to reach up for the Polaroid that Y/n aimed at her. She giggled, pushing the hands away from the camera and looked up at Minji who lay under her. It left Minji smiling right back, getting lost in Y/n once again and it took her a second too long to realise it–the picture being taken.

“Hey–I wasn’t ready for that one,” Minji complained, grabbing hold of Y/n’s waist and pushing her over. The girl had no time to get away when the older one quickly grabbed hold of her- The giggles tended to echo in her mind for days after Y/n would leave. It was a laugh that was easy to remember, the type where she could hear it in a room full of people and know that Y/n was somewhere among them. It brought out laughter in Minji who quickly got on top of Y/n and stopped her with her weight.

“You don’t need to be ready, it still came out good.” Y/n moved the Polaroid away from her once again when she tried to reach for it and took out the picture that was slowly appearing on the film. With the picture in hand, Y/n finally gave up the camera and Minji took it from her.

She hummed at Y/n’s words, the girl looking at the picture that was slowly coming to life and Minji found herself staring like always. Her eyes were always on Y/n and she steadied the camera to capture what her eyes always captured. She had no pictures of the girl and wanted to see if they would even compare to what she saw in the girl.

It seemed perfect as Y/n glanced away from the photo that she flipped to Minji with a smile that was caught right by the camera. It was enough to make Y/n whine and try to squirm from beneath the girl on top of her, but to no avail, as she even held the camera away from her.

“Now I do take Polaroids in bed.” She took the picture out and put the camera back.

“Do I get to keep it?” Y/n asked and tried to reach for the Polaroid of herself again.

“No…” Minji trailed off and looked back down at Y/n who rolled her eyes before they settled right on the older one again. She looked between the photo and Y/n before she put it aside on the bedside table so it wouldn’t get ruined, slipping the photo out of Y/n’s hand too before she leaned down. It did her beauty no justice, it did not capture what Minji could see in Y/n, it didn’t capture what went beyond beauty and was under her skin.

“You see yourself every day, you don’t need it.” She mumbled, Y/n’s hands came up to her shoulders but she guided them down to the bed, pinning both hands above her head.

Minji tilted her head, taking that silent moment to always admire the girl for a bit. It was easy to get lost in Y/n’s words, her lips, and her body, but she always preferred to get lost in these simple moments. They weren’t supposed to be passionate but she still found them to be just that. She opened her mouth, but Y/n helped her muffle what she was trying to say when she kissed her.

The vixen closed her eyes, kissing Minji the way she always did, stealing her breath and so much more than just her breath. It wasn’t intentional, she hadn’t been aware at first, but it became obvious, Minji became obvious. On one side it was needy, their tongues starting to almost desperately push against each other, on the other side it was filled with a burning desire that was different for both of them.

Y/n slipped her hands out from beneath Minji’s gentle hold, her tongue pushing against the slickness of the older’s mouth as she tangled her fingers in her hair. The words were cut short at this point and all that spoke were their bodies. The girl on top slowly moved down and found herself between Y/n’s legs, still kissing her with her hand slowly running under the hoodie that Y/n had on.

The vixen was quicker as she moved her hands over to the hem of the other’s shirt and tugged it up. They pulled away, Minji removing her shirt before she helped Y/n remove the hoodie she had on as she had pushed herself up. The clothes fell onto the floor with deaf thuds. It quickly steamed up, it always left the chilly room hot as even at these moments Minji had a hard time containing herself. Everything would be tender, but it was a different tenderness in bed.

Her cock started to grow harder quicker than she could register Y/n’s body, her eyes knew what they saw, but her brain took longer to phantom the beauty of her. The girl’s black lacy bra didn’t leave much to cover and Minji loved her in black.

Y/n fell onto her back again, pulling the girl with her who immediately found her lips again. Their heavy breaths occupied the room, drowning out the city noise as Y/n’s gasps and Minji’s desperate breaths stirred them on. The younger’s colder hands found their way to the older’s back, trailing her fingers along the back that flexed with each movement and she pulled Minji closer to her.

It elicited a groan from the back of her throat when her cock was slowly starting to strain against her bottoms, Y/n’s covered heat pressing against hers causing friction for the both of them. It was always a moment of desperation as they wanted to wallow in it, but at the same time get right to it, somehow they managed to meet in the middle.

Minji kissed away from Y/n’s lips, kissing down her jaw, the younger’s chest heaved deeper with each kiss that pleated her skin in gold. Her hand trailed the slim waist, the touch created goosebumps that crawled over Y/n’s whole skin at how sweet it felt, the softness it created and warmed up her skin before it could get cold when she was starting to lose layers of clothes.

Her palm pressed against the girl's hipbone, holding herself up while her other hand was by Y/n’s head. Her lips kissed the prominent collarbones with Y/n’s nails gently scratching down her neck and scalp as she pulled Minji closer. That tattoo was still there, but it was as if it disappeared in these moments. It felt like it held less meaning to it. She kissed her neck again, the thin skin was always sensitive and each sound it elicited from Y/n only fueled Minji. It made her press her hard cock against Y/n’s heat through their bottoms.

A moan escaped her lips at how she grounded against her, slowly moving her hips, not much at all, but it was enough pressure against her clit. “Fuck, Min…” Minji gently sucked, tugging on the skin but not leaving anything behind except her warmth. Her nose trailed the skin, taking in the scent while her hips continued to move in those slow motions that made Y/n let out light moans in her ears.

“You’re so hot,” she could only mumble, kissing down to the girl’s supple chest as her breasts perfectly fit in her palm. The skin was soft as she kissed the top of Y/n’s breasts. The girl closed her eyes at the feeling that made it all tingle and it travelled right to her clit where Minji’s cock was pressing through their clothes. Her breath tickled Y/n’s skin, kissing down her breast and along her smooth stomach that was heaving in with each breath.

Fingers found their way to the hem of the loose jeans and she started to work on unzipping and unbuttoning them. Her gaze fell up on Y/n for a second whose eyes were closed, fingers tugging at her hair with each kiss that made her squirm for more.

She managed to undo the bottoms and sat back on her heels, and the vixen lifted her hips, bottom lip trapped between her teeth as Minji slid them off of her long legs that were slim and smooth, shining. All that was left on Y/n’s body was the black lingerie and the younger sat up.

“It’s almost too loud, Minji.” Y/n breathed out as she sat on her knees, the girl had been awfully quiet and stared at her with those eyes, but those eyes spoke too loudly. Y/n preferred words, not those looks she understood too well.

“You leave me speechless, I guess.”

“Too cheesy.” Minji chuckled and kissed Y/n who started undoing her bottoms, her fingers pushed back the hair that was getting in the way of Y/n’s face. She pushed it behind the girl’s ear while she felt her skin with her other hand, cupping Y/n’s cheek. Her left hand snuck behind her waist, smiling into the kiss that made her giddy like always, these moments always did. It almost stung from how good they were, it was all too sweet and bitter at the same time.

It was with some difficulty but she managed to undo the bra once her hand found its way to it. The gesture was enough to make Y/n chuckle against her lips, swallowing Minji's tongue back down as she sucked on it. The bra slid down her shoulders and Y/n let it fall to the side before she went back to the drawers. Her hand grabbed hold of Y/n’s ass, gripping the cheek and squeezing it as most of the material of the lace went up her ass. Just then Y/n tugged down the jeans while one of her breasts got cupped in Minji’s palm, fitting right in it as her breasts weren’t big, but perfectly plump and perky.

“Sit down.” Y/n at last managed to pull away from her lips, pushing Minji to sit down and it let her remove the drawers off her legs fully. The older girl sat leaning back against her palms.

Her eyes landed on the boxer briefs where the print of her cock was prominent, outlining every little detail from her leaking tip to the big vein that ran along it. It was a glance at each other and the two were removing the last pieces they had on until they were naked on the bed.

Y/n found her way into Minji’s lap, her hand grabbed hold of the cock that was throbbing for her touch. Hands grabbed hold of her ass and Minji’s mouth found its way to Y/n’s breasts. The kisses turned wet and sloppy, quietly whimpering against the skin as Y/n stroked her cock, gathering the precum and smearing it down her length all while letting small gasps out by her ear from the attention on her chest.

She grabbed hold of the back of the Minji’s head, twisting her hand with each stroke up which made the girl groan, squeezing her tip before going back down. It was waking up every nerve in Y/n’s body from the tongue that circled her nipple, sucking on it and tugging, teeth grazing over it while her other breast was kneaded with rough care. It coated her chest in the warm saliva, and her hard nipples were grazed by teeth before Minji tugged on them. The actions pushed whimpers out of Y/n, pushing her chest more into the girl.

Her cunt was throbbing with need, slick slowly starting to ooze down, Y/n’s clit pulsating at the thoughts, at the cock she was stroking in her hand. Minji’s thick length was scalding in her hold.

“Minji.” It left her lips so softly, it made her dick twitch in the younger’s hold. She hummed, loving those blissful sounds that would always leave Y/n. Her eyes looked up at the girl through her lashes, mouth still sucking on her chest with languid moves that always worked the vixen up the best.

“Condoms.” Y/n breathed out and she removed her hand from Y/n’s ass and blindly reached for the bedside drawer. Eyes closing at the way Y/n worked her length with just her hand, mouth still latched to the supple breast, gently playing with the nipple using her tongue and fingers. Her fingers stumbled upon the metallic wrap and she took it, only then removing her mouth from Y/n’s chest when the vixen in her lap pulled back.

It disappeared from her hold as Y/n took it from her and Minji bit her lower lip, running her hand down between them. A shuddering breath slipped past Y/n’s lips at the two fingers that ran through her wet folds, spreading them and running down to her sopping hole that was greedily clenching and waiting to get stuffed by the girl’s cock. She looked up at Y/n who held onto her shoulders, wrapper still unopened between her fingers while she slowly caressed her slick pussy.

She gathered the slickness on her fingers, kissing the girl’s clavicles whose hips subtly bucked into her hand. “You’re so pretty, the way you get needy and wet—loving how just my fingers touch you.” It was almost melodic the way she hummed those words against the warm skin of Y/n. What she got in return was a whimper when she dipped her middle finger inside the walls that immediately clasped around her only for Minji to pull out again. Her hand caressed Y/n’s slim waist, fingers feeling her ribs the higher she got before running her hand back down in a feather-like way. It tickled, it made her squirm, wanting more.

“Please, I want you.” Hearing that Y/n wanted her was almost enough to make her burst. She felt how fingers dug into her shoulders when she circled her clit before pressing down on it. It made Y/n’s hips buck into her before the girl huffed when she removed the pressure.

“What do you want me to do?” She questioned, tongue sticking out and licking over the tattoo and to the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Her teeth dug down into the skin, fingers still working the slick cunt, teasing through her lips, smearing her wetness up to her clit that she would caress before dipping down before it could become too good.

Minji had learned Y/n’s body, she knew it better than her own. She knew that even if the girl wanted her now, she loved when she would shower her with these teasing touches. When she drove her further up to the peak before letting her hit it and fall off. Her two fingers pushed into the hole this time, stretching the tight walls out in scissoring motions so the girl wouldn’t feel any discomfort once she would push her dick inside.

“Touch me–make me feel good like you always do.” Her words withered the further she pushed inside her, slowly getting knuckle deep in the confines of her warm and snug walls. The vixen felt the stretch of the two fingers that were slowly stretching her out, caressing her g-spot and putting pressure on it that made her buck into her.

She continued to slowly work inside her, watching how Y/n’s face contorted into pleasure and need. It was good, but it wasn’t enough yet she loved how it drove her crazy and wanting more. The kisses would ease into her skin, the world muffling around her. Moans seeped through at how deeply Minji worked her fingers inside her, making sure to stretch her. The only other sound was the squelching of fingers pushing in and out of her sopping mess.

“Fuck me, stretch me out with your cock until everything is a blur—I just want you deep inside me, baby.” Minji slowly pulled her fingers back out of Y/n before running them over to her swollen clit again which she had lubed up with the girl’s wetness.

“Put it on, ride me, fuck yourself on me the way you want to be fucked. Love yourself on my cock, Y/n.” Minji encouraged fingers slowly dragging along the swollen and throbbing bud. The words made Y/n whimper and slowly pull back.

“I’m sorry, it’s kind of stupid–wait no, I don’t mean that you are stupid or meeting you–”

“No, don’t worry, it’s fine…I get what you mean by stupid because I’ve never agreed to anything like this before.” Minji cut Y/n off, easing whatever tension that would be created if she let her awkward rambling go on. The vixen gave her a bashful smile, giggling.

“You’re adorable though.” Minji felt a wave of warmth hit her face, ears running red as if someone had been pulling on them. It was close to making her look around the diner to see if anyone else was witnessing the mess she was becoming around the girl she had gone out with for the third time. “I get the thought behind why Yujin would set me up with you.” She nodded at those words as they had one mutual friend, well, more acquaintance to Minji and Y/n’s friend since Minji didn’t know Yujin too well.

Although, Minji felt like it was dangerous to be around Y/n. She was too good which meant that she would be bad for her heart. She was so good that the words that left her mouth next only meant more trouble for Minji. It would be impossible, wouldn’t it?

“I don’t think I am willing to put anything on the line, but I wouldn’t mind keeping it casual with you.”

“As in…” Minji trailed off to make sure, her eyes stuck on Y/n as she was mesmerised by the girl. She looked like she would only break Minji’s heart and she would allow her to do it because Y/n was just too good to let pass by without at least getting to hold her hand.

“No strings attached sex.”

She held onto Y/n’s waist, helping the girl who held her length that was wrapped in the condom. Her tip brushed through her folds and to her hole before Y/n slowly lowered herself onto her. The splitting feeling made her gasp and grip onto Minji’s shoulders who left pecks along her neck while slowly helping her ease down on her length. The tightness of Y/n’s walls was suffocating her cock, taking her into the snug and sopping cunt. As she looked down her dick was halfway there, her folds splitting around her dick.

Her breathing got deeper when her cock finally filled Y/n to the hilt, nails digging into her shoulders. “Fuck—You fill me so good.” Y/n sighed, pulling away slightly and looking down at their conjoined heat as she slowly started to move her hips. Each movement made them release breaths and moans, the younger whimpering at the cock that was caressing her insides, slowly starting to move up and down and letting it drag along her sopping heat.

“Show me how you want it,” she breathed out, hand coming up and pushing back Y/n’s hair to see the way her face contorted in pain and pleasure. That bittersweet feeling of fucking herself on Mínji while knowing very well what she felt whether Y/n was riding her cock or if they were just sitting in a blank space and not doing anything at all. Yet she would ride her dick like there was no better thing in the world.

Hands ran down to her ass, gripping it between her fingers and squeezing as she helped with moving up and down along her length. Her pace picked up, the stretch being less painful and turning into a burning desire for more as the whimpers flew out of her mouth. Minji always hit those spots that she hadn’t been able to hit herself unless it was that one other person. The way Minji had learned her body in these three months hurt because it was too good for someone who didn’t deserve their heart broken, but she was willing to get it broken just to be in the same room.

“You’re so good, you take me so well ‘my cock so well, I love how you squeeze it.” Her grip on Y/n tightened, the girl rolling her hips back and forth, moving up and down, the pace becoming a perfect trance of sweet honey running a trail down to hell for Minji. The words made Y/n’s walls flutter, cunt clasping around the pulsating cock that she was slowly adjusting better to the longer it stayed buried inside her.

The vixen bit her lower lip, eyes falling onto Minji who yet again was already looking at her with beautiful hearts in her eyes. It made Y/n close hers and tilt her head back while slowly moving deeper and harder. The bed let out pleading creaks as it was getting tired of watching the pain bloom between them. Minji’s lips parted, only able to watch Y/n ride her, her head thrown back, small chest bouncing with each stroke, her ass slapping against her thighs, pussy squelching from how wet she was, covering Minji’s pelvis in the mess.

“Fuck–I want more.” Y/n half begged through a moan, her hips still gyrating smoothly, crashing against Minji like waves that sent pleasure through them both. Her cock penetrated deep within her snug walls, making her breath hitch each time it hit that significant spot that edged her closer.

“How much do you want it?” Minji clenched her jaw, palm rising and falling against Y/n’s plump ass, the slap echoing sharply. It made the girl whine and slam back down on her cock, almost choking at the way she filled her. The heat grew, hand colliding against her ass again and gripping it roughly with a squeeze all while staring up at the girl whose lips parted and songs of pleasure spilled out of her lips, the notes only for Minji to listen to.

“So much, I want you to touch me everywhere, play with me, make me come–play with my pussy until it hurts.” Y/n’s moans went up in pitch, being light and whiny, her ass stinging slightly when Minji’s palm collided with her cheek again before she caressed it in her hold.

Their bodies were warm, a sheet of sweat covering them to show that the passion was burning with forbidden desires, unable to put it out. Minji ran her hand down to Y/n’s clit, finding the sensitive nub, the touch making the walls clasp around her cock tightly .Y/n bucked into her hand while still moving perfectly on her cock, fucking herself on it just how she liked it and Minji admired.

Minji tried to close her eyes and fall asleep. The girl in her arms was still trembling in her hold. The tear stains on her cheeks were cold and wiped away by Minji. Was there anything as fucking away the sadness, the pain and the agony? Was it right for her to tell Y/n to come over when the girl called her crying because she was worried her friends were done listening to her crying over someone who wasn’t there for her anymore?

Her fingers ran through Y/n’s silky hair, the girl’s breaths were calm and heavy, but she knew that her insides were rumbling as they lay in bed together. Minji’s eyes fell on the girl who was naked under the covers with her, her perfect face buried in her neck and Minji’s skin warm and foggy from the fanning breaths Y/n let out against it.

Was it right? Minji was hurting so Y/nwouldn’t.

It made her swallow and move in the bed, slowly pulling away the girl she thought was asleep. Y/n didn’t bother letting her know that she couldn’t sleep. She preferred to pretend that she was asleep so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge that she was hurting Minji.

The older one got out of bed after placing Y/n’s head on one of her pillows, the covers in her bedroom always lingered with her scent. She pulled the duvet over her naked body so she wouldn’t get cold without her by her side.

Minji slipped on her shorts and tee before grabbing a towel on her way out of the bedroom.

There was an awkward moment when she walked out of the room, her friend coming out of hers at the same time. It wasn’t hard to tell which one didn’t want to talk at all at the moment because no type of solace would change where her heart was and what would happen to it. The walk to the bathroom was watched by a look of pity before she stood under the pouring water that masked her tears.

It felt right but at the same time wrong. Her eyes would be so tender, but her tears would be so acidic that they stung when they touched Minji’s skin. It left her hurting just as much as Y/n was and she was taking it every time because she couldn’t help but to do so. It frustrated her as she tried to give her comfort to the condescending pain all while knowing that she wasn’t the person Y/n wanted comfort from. No matter how hard she would try, there would always be a gap she wouldn’t be able to fill simply because her name wasn’t significant to Y/n’s tattoo.

She had known from the start that she would let Y/n break her heart and now it was happening. Minji was willingly putting herself through this for Y/n even if her sobs left her swallowing the steaming water. Even if each sob filled her lungs and left her feeling like she was drowning in pity and pain. It was crashing right through her, ripping every part of her to shreds, rotors snatching her and tearing her limbs apart, but it was all fine as long as she managed to flash some light through the cracks in Y/n. It was fine if the water would get coloured with cherry wine as long as Y/n would be happy drinking it.

It was always a moment of build-up until it stopped only to resume again when Minji laid Y/n down. She pulled the duvet over them to keep the heat between them and not let it run away. Her eyes fell on Y/n while she held onto her still-hard cock and guided it back to her entrance, this time pushing in with more ease as the girl’s walls were accommodated to her thickness and length.

Y/n gasped, her back arching into Minji, her chest pressing against hers with her arms wrapping around her back while Minji clenched the sheets in her fist by the vixen’s head. It always made her veins fill with these forbidden things, chemicals Y/n made cruise through her body and they would bulge, barely containing themselves within her and not exploding. Her cock buried deep inside the girl right away and she leaned down, kissing Y/n as she started to move her hips.

The bed creaked more, the headboard thudding against the wall and it was hard to continue kissing Y/n when the girl always left her breathless, sucking her soul out. It was as if all blood drained from her heart because it squeezed so hard whenever she was with Y/n. Nails ran down her back, always being the only sign of Y/n ever even stopping by her place together with the scent she would leave lingering on her sheets.

Her hips met Y/n’s who only spread her legs further, balls slapping against her skin as Minji continued to drill into her cunt. Her fingers played with the bundle of nerves that deserved as much attention to bring Y/n to the edge with her tip stroking at her g-spot. Minji’s face fell into the crook of Y/n’s neck to muffle her sounds, biting down on her shoulder and letting out muffled groans and grunts that pushed out from the back of her throat every time she slammed her cock deep inside the girl.

The girl moaned, heaving under Minji at the way she was pistoning in and out of her, the tension quickly grew. Her hips pushed up into the hand, but barely as the force of each thrust was holding her down and nailing her into the bed. “Fuck, I’m so close, Min–you fuck me so good.” Y/n’s voice was almost a cry as the next moans weren’t ones she could hold back as her orgasm was approaching, making her back arch more and her hands grasped onto the back that flexed with each thrust, pulling the girl on top closer.

The covers rested by Minji’s hips, barely staying on from the rough trusts. Her cock dragged along Y/n’s tight walls that were sucking her in. Each thrust left her to pant for air to continue fucking her at the pace. Her hips sped up before slowing down, making sure that Y/n felt her everywhere and that she touched her insides the right way which made her bulge with each deep thrust. The headboard banged against her wall following the rhythm together with the squeaks it let out and leaving its marks on the wall.

She sloppily kissed along the vixen’s shoulder and up to her neck before pulling away to look at Y/n. “Show me how good you feel, Y/n, come around my cock.” Minji groaned, it was almost aching from how her skin was colliding with Y/n’s. The lewd sounds of their wet skin slapping echoed around her room which was filled with these emotions that would leave a mess after them. It would be a beautiful murder scene as someone would die by the end of the night unless something would turn around.

Her hips rolled into Y/n, fucking deep into her, each thrust hard but tender with care to make her feel good and not hurt her. It made Y/n’s thighs quiver as they locked around Minji, her walls tightening and throbbing as she reached the peak, falling right from it at such speed that her eyes rolled back, head thrown back into the pillow. Minji drowned in Y/n, watching how she managed to fuck her to forget everything and only slowing down when the girl was whimpering and panting for air.

The way Y/n spasmed at the touch made her remove her hand from the girl’s clit. Minji was close to collapsing at how she had been holding back to have Y/n finish. She huffed, hand falling beside Y/n’s head and bunching up the pillow case in her fists. Arms were still wrapped around her back, holding her close as her breathing grew heavier, her dick growing harder with her balls tightening.

“Fuck–” She groaned out, stuttering into Y/n with her head falling into the crook of the vixen’s neck. Her cum filling the condom as spurt after spurt shot out her tip that was engulfed by Y/n’s pulsating walls. “Fuck,” she breathed out, falling out of breath, losing her thoughts as it just spilled out of her mouth this time without Y/n being able to prevent the worst from happening.

“I love you.”

She could feel the way Y/n tensed up at the words she knew would come at some point. Her body slumped down against Y/n’s as she pulled out before her dick could go fully limp–quickly getting rid of the condom that landed in the bin by her bed. It removed one weight off of her chest, but put a new one on it, a much heavier one.

Y/n’s fingers ran through Minji’s hair, caressing her scalp as silence fell upon them while they tried to catch their breath in a room where all the oxygen had been stolen.

Minji let out a shaky breath at the way the heaviness had eased on her chest but became heavier right after. That fear grew in her, but she knew what it was. She was fine with her heart being broken by Y/n as she took in the scent that was comforting as it layered on the vixen’s skin. The comfort of something that was almost like a home, she had been homesick for so long, and there was Y/n. It made the tears well up in her eyes as she had found the home she had been so homesick for–

“I love you.” She repeated.

“I know Minji, I’m sorry.” The words were so tender, they left through a small rasp, they soothed yet they bruised as her heart fell into a rhythm that held the heaviness of a broken world. The words didn’t fill any cracks in Minji’s heart but only pushed through them and left them bigger, scarring it, leaving it much more difficult to mend than it should be.

–Only for it to not be a home.

“You won’t leave?” Minji asked, not daring to move as she was scared that she would crumble to pieces if she did and Y/n moved away to leave.

The vixen could feel Minji’s tears that brushed her skin, which fell along the skin they knew they didn’t belong on. Her eyes stared at the ceiling which became a blur unless she blinked her eyes and cleared them of the hotness that gathered in them. Her fingers scratched Minji’s damp scalp comfortingly despite not being able to be her comfort.

“No.” Her lips found their way to the top of her head, kissing it gently. Not being able to kiss the pain away.

“Promise.” Minji rasped. All she could do was hope and wait for Y/n to stop being hurt by the past. To let Minji in. It wasn’t even about being hurt anymore. It wasn’t about Minji. It never had been. The older one knew that. She knew that and still let Y/n hurt her because she let her do it when Y/n never wanted to hurt her in the first place. She knew that she would get hurt if she fell for someone who was already hurting, it was a disease.

Minji had taken the wrong turn when she decided to get involved with someone who looked like she would break her heart. When she fell for someone who would break her heart. When she fell for someone who still loved her past. When she found a home in a pair of arms that were still holding onto their old home.

“I promise.” She let out a shuddering breath, closing her eyes and forcing the tears through the cracks that were appearing in her heart. Something hurt, she couldn’t tell what it was anymore, but it was enough to make her realise that she had never truly been in love before until she met someone who would break her heart from the start. It didn’t allow her to be angry with Y/n, she knew that it was solely her fault that she was hurting and not the vixens.

She snivelled, the tears only falling harder as she tried to hold back on her cries that left her lower lip trembling. Her body rolled over to the side and her arms wrapped around Y/n’s shoulders who snaked her arms around Minji’s waist. Her tears fell onto the top of Y/n’s head, taking in her scent to try and calm down, but it only reminded her of all that she had possibly lost but would wait for her to find back to Minji if it was possible.

Y/n’s head nestled under her chin, making her close her eyes as she wished that she could provide the home that Y/n wanted but she would never be able to become.

She never thought that tears could sting so much, that something salty could turn bitter and sour yet carry a sweet undertone because she had been aware of the outcome all along. It was expected yet it hurt so much that it almost felt good to finally go through it and not have to dread it anymore. It wasn’t something she had to be worried about anymore as the pain finally came and she didn’t have to spend every day waiting for it to finally hit her.

Minji wanted to look at Y/n, to look into her eyes once more, to kiss her, look at her beautiful face and get lost in the girl to ease the pain that was spreading through her body like a burning fire, leaving nothing but burn marks from the damage it created. That burning passion got out of control when Y/n wasn’t able to keep it in her hold.

She couldn’t though, she was too scared to look at her and see her not even feel the slightest bit of what she felt for her. Scared to not see her eyes slightly glossy. Scared to not see the girl at least slightly hurting because she wants to love her but maybe is just too scared and not because she loves someone else.

She fell asleep with the promise in her heart, with the thoughts that she could wait for Y/n and she would stay until she would say it right back.

The problem was that she met Y/n too early, and said those words too late despite there not being any space in between to say them. It was wrong from the start and she had been aware of it.

It wasn’t long until she woke up because she always did when her arms felt empty, especially when she knew that Y/n was supposed to be sleeping in the same bed as her. Her bed was empty though when she tried to find the girl and pull her back into her arms. A knot tied around her heart with a brick tied to it as it dropped to the pits of hell while getting torn by everything on its way down.

It was a broken promise as she opened her eyes in the dark room and the only thing that hadn’t left was Y/n’s scent. There wasn’t a fight to put up when her eyes teared up and burned down her cheeks. Her fingers were trembling as she felt weak at the pain, the despair her body was put through, the agony of losing something she never even truly got to have.

Minji turned on the bedside lamp, a lump in her throat that was her heart, desperately trying to push out her body and escape through her mouth. The beating was heavy, sounding in her ears, muffling everything else as she wiped at her eyes while sniffling. Her blurred vision fell on the two polaroids as the one with Y/n was flipped over and she took it, clenching her trembling jaw as the tears rolled down the side of her face and were soaked up by her pillow that was the only offer of wiping them for her. Y/n wasn’t there to wipe them. Her other hand grabbed the pillow Y/n had been lying on, hugging it and burying her nose in it while she looked at what had been written on the photo.

I’m sorry

She still saved the picture, it was her only picture of Y/n in the end as she stared at it while slowly crumbling as her body started to shake from how she tried to contain her sobs. The picture of Y/n.

The girl who left her, Y/n left her for someone she had been longing for, leaving Minji to long for her now.

She hadn’t been wrong when she was sure that Y/n was in love too every time she looked her in the eye. It was just that she hadn’t been in love with Minji, that love in her eyes had been for someone else all along. It was so strong that it even stayed when she was with someone else, fooling Minji into believing that it could be her.

Was it because of a simple text that read;

I still love you

What if Minji had told Y/n how she felt sooner?

Would she maybe leave her past behind and consider a future with Minji instead?

It all created more lumps in her throat and more tears ran down her face until a sob finally fell through her lips and she buried her face in the pillow while clutching her only photo of the girl who broke her heart. The girl tried her best to ease the pain that pulsated on her chest, rubbing at it while crying for someone who wouldn't show up.

Because…What if?

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heliads · 5 months

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Hi! Hope I’m not too late, could I request a Derek Hale x reader where she (already knowing ab the supernatural) gets tired of Derek constantly disappearing from her life whenever he does that Derek thing until finally she’s fed up with it being the one to disappear this time idk how to end it or go from there but I was thinking of an angsty hurt/comfort with a happy ending🥺! Hope it’s enough, thank you!!

'the one who leaves ' - derek hale

masterlist

The hardest part of both being a werewolf and knowing a werewolf is, and will always be, the horrors. The attacks that never cease, the blood always shed. The second hardest part is the strain of being with someone whose life is always in jeopardy purely because of who they are. Although it doesn’t feel nearly as important as the constant threat of hunters, or the latest monster to decide that Beacon Hills should be its new domain, sometimes you swear the second part hangs even more heavily about your heart than the first. Then again, maybe that’s just because of Derek Hale.

Derek is one of the most complicated players on the supernatural chess board. You met him what feels like a lifetime ago, when one of seemingly dozens of supernatural attacks had threatened the lives of Beacon Hills citizens. Derek had saved your life. A month later, you’d saved him from some hunters. The back-and-forth of life saving went on and on until the two of you decided you were better as friends than people a little too important to each other to be acquaintances, and then the boundaries were shifted again when you started dating.

Sometimes, though, on rough nights after long fights and darker ones when you haven’t seen Derek in weeks and he doesn’t seem all that inclined to answer your texts or voicemails, you start to think that entering into a relationship with you is one of Derek’s biggest regrets. It’s not that he doesn’t care for you; Derek has assured you many times over that his feelings for you are stronger even than his loyalties to his pack, his commitment to killing the hunters responsible for the Hale House fire, yet the problem remains.

Derek is all too familiar with the struggle of having a weakness. When his ancestral home burned down with most of his family trapped inside, he learned for the first time that sometimes a mortal blow capable of destroying his life doesn’t have to threaten him specifically. When he loves someone so much that he prioritizes their safety above his own, Derek creates a weakness that hunters and other supernaturals can exploit. He would never forgive himself if you were hurt as a tool to get to him, so Derek has been doing his best to limit the fallout of any supernatural fight onto you.

However, this only seems to drive the two of you apart. Yes, by not being seen in public as often anymore, Derek lowers the possibility that a hunter would try to kidnap you as a hostage, but it also means that you see him less and less frequently. When you do finally manage to meet up, after thoroughly checking to make sure you haven’t been tailed, and only after dark in one of your houses, you’re both exhausted, wrung dry of the same life and spirit that had brought the two of you together in the first place.

It’s not the same anymore. You hate to admit it, but it’s true. Loving Derek is no longer the beautiful victory it had always been. Instead, you feel as if you’ve lost the war. Derek isn’t yours anymore. If he was, you wouldn’t have to hide what the two of you share, you wouldn’t have to constantly stare at the long list of missed calls on your phone and wonder when he’ll ever pick up, if he even wants to anymore. Derek is doing a great job at keeping you safe, but somewhere along the line, the two of you got your priorities mixed up. Now you’re alone and he’s alive, and you don’t know that you’re any happier about it than you would have been if one of you were lost to the hunters.

At this point, why try? Why even bother with the pretense of maintaining the ruse? The two of you might as well not even be together at all. It doesn’t feel like you are, certainly, when you go so long in between visits. Even when the two of you are finally face to face, Derek is harried and brief, hardly staying longer than a few hours before rushing off again, never to be seen for another few months.

It wears away at you like a river at a stone. Your sharp edges, the ones that pierced through his shell so easily at the beginning of it all, have been smoothed to nothingness. Each of your attempts to break through to Derek and coax him into staying even a little longer are brushed off with simple excuses. It’s like you don’t even exist to him anymore.

Fine. Fine. If you’re not a person to him anymore, he will not be a person to you. You pack up your things and leave Beacon Hills early one morning, only telling Scott McCall and Deaton over at the vet so they can contact you if need be. You don’t say a word about your absence to Derek. Why bother? He’s not even in town, hasn’t been for months. When he comes back– if he attempts to come back at all– he can ask one of his friends and hear the same answer that he would from you right now. There’s no point in wasting either of your time any longer.

You’re still engaged in fighting the good fight against the supernatural. Deaton is a longtime friend of yours, and he’d been hearing rumors of a peculiarity a couple of states over. He couldn’t afford to leave Beacon Hills for an extended period of time, being so important to the town as one of its last defenders, so you offered to go instead. It would be good for you, you said. The trip. Being able to clear your head.

Odds are, Deaton had been able to see through that excuse as he has many of your others all throughout your life, but he had just nodded and said that he was grateful for your help. With that, you left town. You’ve been in Beacon Hills for your entire life, excluding brief excursions in the name of school or work or family trips. Never before have you left like this, not entirely sure if you would ever come back, uncertain that the person you love most of all would be there to want you to return.

At first, the trip feels like a terror. Then you roll down the windows and let the early morning light touch your face with soft, bright fingers; then the breeze cools your face, running over your skin in loose circles; then you start to breathe at last, for the first time in what feels like years. Then you remember that you are still a person worth saving, and maybe even if Derek Hale cannot do that, you can save yourself by leaving.

The miles pass by in moments. You’re long gone by the time anyone starts waking up. Scott knew that you were leaving and told the other teenagers in his pack so they wouldn’t freak out, but he still texts you anyway. Hope you find what you’re looking for.

So do I, you message him back at a red light. Stay safe.

Thanks, he responds, then no more.

You end up in the state of your choice by the middle of the afternoon, booking a room at a hotel so you can have a home base while properly surveying the area. You don’t have a supernatural’s knack for telling when something is wrong, but the hairs on the back of your neck prickle anyway, letting you know that the currents of the wind around this city have a magical edge, a certain element that sets them aside from a normal town. Good. You could use something fantastical and uncommon.

You don’t know when you expect to hear back from Derek. Never, maybe. You had assumed that he wouldn’t try to reach out to you until he got back, which might be anywhere from a few months from now to never. Once he returned to Beacon Hills, Derek could hear from Scott as to why you weren’t there anymore. You and Derek hardly spoke at all anymore, except out of an obligation to make sure you were still alive. He probably wouldn’t care at all.

Yet not a week has gone by before you start getting frantic texts from Derek.

Y/N. You in town?

Why is your house empty?

Scott tells me you left town. Why didn’t you tell me?

Y/N. Please text back. I’m getting worried.

Three missed calls.

Please pick up, sweetheart. I’ll drive over there myself if I have to. Just tell me you’re alive.

You stare at the notifications for a long time, reveling in how they build in intensity, then tap out a message of your own at last: I’m alive and well.

Derek immediately responds. And you didn’t tell me you were going?

The bright glow of your phone dulls your senses. Nothing feels right, but nothing feels wrong anymore. Loving Derek used to make you feel invincible. Now, you’re just tired, and wishing this exchange would end.

Didn’t think I would have to. You’ve been away for months, and you never tell me when you’re going. Why should I?

Derek doesn’t like that at all. It’s different with me, sweetheart. You know that.

You don’t bother to grace that with a response. Setting your phone on ‘do not disturb,’ you shove the device back in your pocket. It’s good that Derek is unhappy with this turn of events, you decide. For once, he should be the one panicking when he wakes up alone, when he wants to be with the person he loves only for them to disappear without a trace. Why should it be you all the time?

You carry on with your task. As it turns out, the case at hand, the utter unraveling of the supernatural presence in this town, is due to an overactive ancient curse on the town. Deaton talks you through how to shut it down, and once the job is done, you return home, proud of yourself and your accomplishments.

You’re fully expecting Derek to have left town again by the time you got back. He’s been messaging you non stop, but you’ve been leaving most of those messages on ‘unread’ since they all say pretty much the same things: why wouldn’t you tell me you were going, are you alright, come back ASAP. You message back occasionally to assure him that you’re still alive, but mainly, you think a bit of silence would do the both of you some good.

After arriving back at Beacon Hills, you stop by your house to drop off your belongings before visiting Deaton to debrief. He’s glad to hear of your success, but once both of you have ensured that the town was handled accordingly, he breaks protocol to talk about your personal life instead.

“I think you should talk to Derek Hale,” he says uneasily.

You frown at him. “What?”

Deaton glances around to make sure no customers can overhear you, then continues on. “He’s been a wreck ever since you left. He keeps stopping by the shop to demand information from me. He insisted for a long time that I give him the name of the town you were visiting so he could check on you himself, but I kept it from him because I thought you would need to focus.”

“That was the right call,” you assure him. It would, after all, have been more difficult to juggle both an errant curse and a supremely ticked off boyfriend.

Deaton chuckles good-naturedly. “That was what I had assumed. I would still recommend talking to him, though. These sorts of conflicts are best handled sooner rather than later.”

You nod your agreement, and, after talking a few minutes longer, head out towards Derek’s apartment complex. Although you’ve felt bitterly triumphant in the fact that Derek now knows what it’s like to miss somebody like you’ve been missing him, you fell in love with him for a reason, and that reason was that you liked being around him more than you did with anyone else. You still love him, even if the two of you have been on the fringe of an argument for a while now.

That’s what drives you to his building, what carries you up the interminably long elevator ride, what brings you to knock twice on his door and wait until a quiet voice from inside announces that the door is unlocked.

That’s the first sign that something is wrong. Derek never leaves the door unlocked. Some could call it an overwhelming concern for safety, or just plain paranoia, but Derek’s experienced enough tragedy in his life to go overboard in making sure that he keeps all potential avenues of risk firmly blocked off. The fact that the door is unlocked disquiets you more than you like to admit.

Slowly, carefully, you push the door open. Immediately, you’re struck by the gloomy atmosphere of the place. Derek pulled the curtains over the wide windows of his apartment, making the whole place darker and more lifeless than usual. The lights are off. You can assume that Derek can see thanks to his werewolf senses without needing the fluorescents, but for your human eyes, the whole place just seems as dark and grave as a crypt.

“Derek?” You call out hesitantly.

Silence. Then, a husky voice from the back. “Y/N? Is that you?”

You still can’t see him in the gloom, so you cross the apartment to open the blinds on the large windows, hoping to toss some light on the situation. You know the layout of the place from memory, so many visits here help to solidify your knowledge of each piece of furniture in the apartment. Still, you’re not expecting to see Derek crumpled in a chair on the corner, looking significantly the worse for wear.

You’re at his side in an instant. “Derek? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he says listlessly. “Not like you knew a thing about that, though, disappearing like that.”

Your concern for him starts to fade away, replaced instead by a burning irritation. “So that’s what all of this is about? You’re so hurt that I was the one to leave that you’ve become comatose?”

Derek sits up a little, eyes flashing. “You vanished without a trace and didn’t tell me where you went. I thought you were dead, Y/N. I had to pry information out of Deaton so I even knew you were alive, and when I tried to contact you, you ignored my messages. What the hell was I supposed to think?”

You laugh, although it’s not a happy sound. “Finally, you understand. This is what I deal with every time you leave town, Derek. You never tell me where you’re going or what you’re doing. I sat here in Beacon Hills for months, wondering if you’ll ever come back. I was gone for half the time you usually are and yet it’s far too much for you to handle. How do you think I feel?”

Derek’s lips flatten. “I– I didn’t realize you took it like that. I was just trying to keep you safe. You know how the hunters watch me, and–”

You cut him off, feeling the anger coiling through your stomach. “I know that, Derek. I know that every supernatural in your life that isn’t a part of your pack wants you dead. I know that in your head, this is how you keep me safe, by constantly cutting me out of your life, but has it occurred to you that this isn’t what I want? You could have asked me if this was the way to handle it. If you had even talked to me at all, I would have told you that I don’t care about being safe. Not if it means we’re like this. Not if it means I don’t get to have you at all.”

Derek stands up slowly, until he’s hovering just a few breaths away from you. One of his hands reaches up to cradle your cheek. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he whispers. “I’ve lost so many people in my life. I can’t lose you, too.”

“I know,” you murmur back. “But if you keep going on like this, if you keep pushing me away, you’ll lose me anyway.”

He flinches. “I should have asked you,” he admits. “I can’t erase the past, Y/N, but I can apologize for the present. Will you forgive me?”

“Only if you stay with me,” you answer him.

A ghost of a smile plays upon his lips. “I’ve never had a problem with that. It hurts like hell, leaving you. Always.”

“Then don’t do it anymore,” you urge him. “Stay with me, Derek. Keep me safe by staying with me.”

“I will,” Derek promises.

People in love make a lot of promises. Some are kept, some are broken. Some are forgotten about entirely. Looking at Derek in this half-darkness, though, you have a feeling that this one will be cherished for quite a long time indeed.

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