#idk what else to add just help a bro out

[walkingzombiegirl]

hiii can i request some fluff with toge inumaki and fem!reader? like headcannons on how it would be like to date him and how their relationship grew? i love your works you do such a great job! <3

━ 𝘿𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙄𝙣𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 - Toge Inumaki x Fem!Reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 - Headcanons for dating your favorite partial mute!

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 - Cursing? Maybe? Alludes to death

𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘀 - My brain ran out of ink I might add more

You guys met when you joined the school as a first year and the first thing you seen was a talking panda

A surprise fr

But then you met him, and it was bonito flakes at first sight

Okay no more jokes

But seriously he was really cute and you were extremely awkward around him for the longest because it's already hard wondering what your crush thinks about you

But you couldn't physically understand yours

Not at first I mean

Inumaki thought you were also also very pretty however he knew that there was definitely going to be a barrier until you began to understand him like his friends did

It's when the notes began

He first began them when he asked you for a pencil right before an exam and it carried over

Each time he needed to communicate with you, he'd write a note

You'd pass them back and forth in class as well, when you were supposed to be being quiet

Gojo pretended he didn't see that part

Until finally his words, though very few, began to click

Like Groot, you caught on, faster than anyone else had and even Maki was impressed with that

He still likes leaving you notes though

Especially in your desk or just around where he knows you and you only will find them

And one day, a note on your desk said, DATE? YES NO

Panda couldn't stop giggling, so you knew something was up

Obviously, as seen above you said yes

I could just imagine all the ways he'd show his love without speaking it for the most part

Like the notes

Also a firm believer that he's very much a hand holder as well, he likes playing with your fingers

Also stares a lot

Especially when you're talking and telling something bro gets extremely zoned in and stares you down like you've hung the sun and stars and are the best thing that's ever happened to him

Which you are

He's whipped

All his friends know this as well, they love it

You don't get to see much happiness often in their world, all you really have is each other and long live happy relationships as long as they last

He likes taking walks, the clear his head since y'know, saying certain things might murder everyone in a few mile radius

They're very personal to him

So he starts taking you, and sometimes it's silence, sometimes he likes just hearing you talk because it helps calm him

Sometimes you both share earbuds

Whatever it is they're some of his favorite things ever and he'll take secrets pics of you if you skip ahead

Great insta posts the man CAN take a photo

He's the type of boyfriend to get in the most awkward poses if you need a good selfie

YES GIRL GIVE US SALMON

*squats*

He truly loves you and worships the ground you walk on

DIY king also btw

Idk why that thought just popped in my head but I feel like he truly can do anything if you ask him

Build you a bookshelf? Five minutes, no sweat, zero mistakes and it's done and he just stares at you like :3

Great listener obviously

HIS BITCH POSE IS NASTY

if you say something even remotely untrue he gives you the biggest most diabolical silent side eye ever seen before

Shakes the ground

Eyebrow game is strong, very expressive man it's very attractive

My thoughts are running out but he's just a king of being a boyfriend

a/n: best friend break up!!!!!!!!!!! THEY STUICJK

[concretecultist]

Sunshine (muscle memory pt. 2)

summary: "true love never leaves, sometimes it just gets lost temporarily. lost in pride and ego, lost in confusion and misunderstanding. but love being lost is never the end; sometimes love needs to breathe before it finds home again."

word count: 17.6k

pairing: reader x noah sebastian

warnings: angst, talks of mental health, feelings of guilt, mentions of marijuana usage, crying, dad!noah, FLUFF

THIS IS PURE FICTION AND IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!!!

A/N: yeah so idk how to write short stories really 😭 so this is a long one!! Please make sure to comment and reblog as it helps us writers out immensely!! Much love!

~Berry🫐

“You’re so full of shit!,”

Matt had come back into town, rushing to tell Noah and the guys what had happened while he was out. Noah, Nicholas and Jolly were playing a video game on the big screen when Matt rushed in, Folio nodding in and out of sleep with a bag of chips in his hands after facing a whole blunt by himself.

“Bro, I know what I fucking saw,” Matt was seething, does Noah really think he would lie about something like this? “This wasn’t some Y/N doppelgänger, it was Y/N and she had a baby, a little girl.. who looks just like you might I add. It’s weird!,”

Noah felt like his stomach fell out of his ass. Matt has to be bullshitting. Maybe you were babysitting? There’s no way you had a baby. There’s no way he had a baby.

“It’s hard to tell who babies look like when they’re still that young. Maybe the guy who told you to go away was her new boyfriend,” Jolly tried to justify.

Matt frowned at Jolly’s disposition. Everyone in this room knew you like the palm of their hands. It took you a while to open up to Noah and become his girlfriend and even longer to open up to them to consider them playfully-annoying brothers.

“She’s not like that,” Nicholas clicked away at his controller, brows furrowing as he soaks in the conversation.

Matt clapped his hands and pointed to Nicholas as if to say that the point he made was based, and it was.

Nicholas continued speaking while keeping his eyes trained on the screen, absolutely obliterating the characters within the game, “I mean think about it. If what Matt is saying is true-,”

“And it is!,” Matt interjected but all Nicholas did was roll his eyes and continue speaking,

“-Then the time between Noah and Y/N breaking up versus now, would not be enough time for her to get pregnant by someone else,”

“One night stand after they broke up?,” Folio answered absentmindedly.

“You know damn well that’s not how Y/N is,” Matt just wanted to pull his hair out, “If you saw that baby then you guys would see I’m not lying,”

Noah felt like he might be sick. Even if you two broke up, you would tell him that you were pregnant… right?

But then again, the last few months of your relationship, he wasn’t there, emotionally nor physically so he can’t blame you if you didn’t. It doesn’t hurt any less though and he doesn’t know what to believe.

“Where the hell did you even see her? I figured she jumped ship,” Noah shrugged, “And even if this is the case, Matt. She blocked all of us on… o-on everything so how do you expect me to go about this?,”

The silence from the blond was enough of an answer for Noah but Matt’s silence didn’t mean he didn’t have one.

“Why are you so adamant on denying this?,”

“I’m not!,” Noah let his character go idle long enough for Nicholas to say fuck it and actually pause the entire game, “I just don’t know what to do! I mean, if she acted like she didn’t want to see you then what makes you think she’ll want to see me?,”

The guys knew Noah had a point, but he should still try.

“It’s Sunday. Every other Sunday she goes to the markets and you should know that because you would always be at the studio with Jolly so she would take me with her,” Matt stood there with his arms crossed, he watched the gears turn in Noah’s head but he knew the brunet still wasn’t getting it.

“Okay?,” Noah was stumped.

“Which means she still has her routines, dork!,” he tapped his fingers to his temple as if to tell Noah to ‘fucking think’

“Meaning on Wednesday, she’ll be at the actual grocery store getting what she couldn’t at the market,” Nicholas answered for Matt.

“Are we sure any of this is a good idea?,” Jolly probed, “If you guys ended mutually then one, why would she not tell you, two, why would she block all of us, and three, why would she act like that when seeing Matt?,”

Jolly, Matt and Nicholas had their suspicions about the breakup. Noah had told them it was pretty cut and dry but they could never get your side as you pretty much went off the grid.

“I don’t know!,” Noah held his hands up in frustration, “I don’t know why you guys are acting like I’m not blindsided here,”

“There’s only one grocery store within the town I saw her near. Don’t be on any stalker shit but I’ll bet you my fucking mixing equipment she’ll be there on a Wednesday at 4:45 before the after work rush comes,” Matt refuted.

It felt strange to Noah that all of his friends seemed to read you like a book, but when he thinks about you, you seem like a mystery. Maybe it’s because you had no choice but to become one after a while. It’s his fault you closed yourself off. You tried until you couldn’t yet Noah made your efforts seem pointless. Noah had neglected you, he became a stranger who wasn’t involved in your routines anymore and he’s had more than enough time to realize that after you left.

When you left it felt like his world had stopped. How did he fuck up so bad? Letting the voices in his head get to him, pushing you away with the idea that you’ll someday be with someone who deserves you. The demons in his head convinced him that he wasn’t that someone.

He let the weight of the world crush him. He let the brain fog cloud his vision, his judgment and now here he is, doing his best to get better. Now has the news that he may or may not be a father. He’s spooked by the idea. If he couldn’t be a good partner how does he expect you to let him in for a chance to be a good father… if he can find you that is? He’s petrified.

Except he knows damn well it doesn’t outweigh the panic you felt when he pushed you away, forcing you to go through it all alone.

It had been about two and a half weeks or so since your run in with Matt and it has done nothing but prompted you to stay inside more than you already have been. Reid agreed to drop off your needed items and even stuck around to help around the house. He’s even brought Ms. Ernie by as she’s missed you.

You wanted to get out though. You missed going on walks around the woods, missed stepping foot on the outskirts of the city. You couldn’t hide away forever and you really couldn’t do that to Noelle, she needed to see the outside world.

That’s how you found yourself in the supermarket in town with Ms. Ernie as she asked you what you wanted for dinner.

“I think some mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli will be good sides,” you suggested.

“Want gravy?,”

“No, I’m more of a butter and pepper kinda gal,” you lightly nudged her, patting Noelle’s bottom as she laid quietly in her baby wrap against your chest.

“You kids don’t appreciate good gravy anymore,” she playfully rolled her eyes.

This is something you really needed. Was this a friendship you expected to have? Absolutely not, still it helps you feel normal. You share your eggs from your chickens and she makes you milk and yogurt, she always invites you over for Wednesday dinner, you invite her over for a nice cool lunch while she’s on break from the truck.

“What do we want for dessert?,” you ask, looking at the array of fresh baked goods.

“Pick whatever you want, sweetie. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go look at the teas, I’m running low and I think they’re on sale!” she waved, taking the cart to go get her favorite brand of iced tea.

“What are we feeling, Sunshine?,” you lightly bounce, her hand reaching up to feel your cheek, “Do we want carrot cake, red velvet? Ouuu that caramel crumble apple pie sounds gooooood,”

You look at her, heart swelling while she just squeals and smiles at you. You never expected yourself to be a parent, a single parent at that- but smiling down at this face, with the cutest, chubbiest cheeks and big, animated eyes, you wouldn’t trade this for anything.

“I know, I think we should get all of them too,” you rub your nose against hers just to hear her babble again. You would never get tired of that sound, it became your favorite song.

“But!-” you open the cooler door and begin reaching, “-Mama is really craving the red velvet,”

Unfortunately for you though, it was on the top shelf and you just weren’t tall enough. You hear yourself grunt as you reach and honestly it’s rather embarrassing. You try again and see no one nearby to ask for help and you feel defeated. All you wanted was a nice piece of cake. Deciding to give up, you slap your hand down against your thigh and look to Noelle to pout at her, “I guess it wasn’t meant to be”

While you were looking at her, you were in your own world. Everything just seemed to stop when you peered into those eyes. Noelle nuzzled her cheek against the back of your finger as you caressed it. All you wanted was a nice dinner followed by eating cake while she slept on your chest, a nice night with you and Ms. Ernie competing against each other while watching a game show.

You were so caught up in adoring your daughter that you didn’t see the large hand that reached over your head to grab the cake you desired.

“Here you go,” a hopeful drone made its way into your ears.

You were so set on having a good night except when you looked up, your smile immediately fell and you were frozen. Your eyes seemed to deceive you because there was no way this was real. You had to be dreaming. There’s no way he’s standing in front of you.

Your body betrayed you. Everyone speaks of fight or flight and a part of you always believed that if you were in a situation where you had to choose, that you’d choose flight, not being the fighting type and opting to always run and hide. But… Now that you’re in a situation like this, there’s a third option many don’t acknowledge.

Freeze.

There’s fight.

There’s flight..

and then there’s freeze…

And you froze.

Your mind and body let you down. Your feet should be carrying your body as far away from his as possible but you just can’t move. You’re trying but they won’t budge.

That smile he shines isn’t helping either. It's an expression you want to wipe off his face but for some reason you can’t help but continue to stare because it’s a smile that you never expected to see again. It clicks that your mind is betraying you again because why are you finding comfort in it?

His eyes were tired but still so beautiful. You notice they hold hope as well as hesitation.

“You always did like red velvet,” he snickered but you didn’t find anything funny. What kind of sick joke is this?

“Get away from me,” you whisper. It sounded more confident in your head, you didn’t want to sound weak. Another bodily betrayal.

“I’m not here to scare you or hurt you. I just want to talk,” he caught a glimpse of the gorgeous baby in your wrap and his breath was taken away.

Matt was right and not just about the baby. But your routines. You never strayed far from your habits, so to see you walking in the store with your baby to your chest made this much more real than Noah could process at once. The poor guy doesn’t know if he’s relieved or scared shitless.

“There’s nothing to talk about. She’s not even yours,” your eyes flit as the tears fall down your cheeks. It felt like you were suffocating now. You know Matt spilled and really, you couldn’t blame him because if you were in Noah’s position, you’d want to be told as well. But then again.. you wouldn’t be in this position if you were him because you would’ve tried to save your relationship.

Being found so easily wasn’t something you planned and now you’re battling the feelings of wanting to slap him or run in his arms because while he hurt you- Noah was it for you. He was endgame. Seeing him stirred all these feelings inside that were now giving you vertigo, causing your stomach to swirl and a lump to form in your throat.

“Y/N, she looks just like me. There’s a lot to talk about,”

He tried to get another glimpse but you shielded her in the wrap. No, no way in hell. Taking a giant step back, you hold her closer, “I won’t let you take her away from me. She’s all I have, Noah. I won’t let you,”

Noah took a step forward and could only brandish defeat when you took yet another step back.

“I’m not trying to take her from you,” Noah knows he has no right to be offended. Like, let’s think- you two broke up and his best friend bumped into you, now Noah knows about his child and he found you in a random supermarket after you fought tooth and nail to stay away from him. It would make sense why you think he’d take her from you, but that’s far from what Noah wants. It’s a long shot but he wants to make this right.

Noah understands that he fucked up in the past but he wouldn’t do that to you, “That’s why I want to talk. I want a chance to be there,”

A scoff from you echoes in the empty aisle. How rich.

“You weren’t even there for me and you expect me to believe you’ll be there for her?,” You grit through your teeth, “She is too precious to be let down by you, Noah. Do it to me all you want but not when it comes to my daughter,”

A frown etched its way onto Noah’s face, waving his hands as if to say ‘wait, hold up’. He knows he hasn’t been there but he’s not about to be some deadbeat.

“Our… daughter,” he corrected, “You didn’t even give me a chance to know so I could be there,”

“You’ve got some fucking nerve!,” your voice had gone shrill and you were thankful that there was little to no people in the store. You wished he would have approached you outside, then you really wouldn’t have to worry about keeping your voice down.

“ ‘Our’ daughter, Noah? Really?! If you weren’t there before I was pregnant-,”

“I told you I just needed time,” he interjected, still holding onto that sentiment.

“I gave you four years!,” you spat, “Four years of me, Noah. I gave you four years to learn how to love me. To learn how to communicate even up until the end,”

Who knows how much time he would have needed. Who knows if he’d have even gotten his shit together by the time you found out you were with child and gave birth. Having Noelle now, you know for certain you couldn’t have just sat with idle hands.

“Y/N please,” he begged, still holding the cake in his hands, “I love you and I fucked up. It’s been killing me since the day you left and how I never had to chance to make it right, then Matt told me-”

“Matt is wrong. Matt doesn’t know what he’s talking about!,” you really weren’t trying to make a scene here and you were still trying to convince Noah that Noelle wasn’t his.

“She has my eyes, Y/N. She’s a perfect mix of you and me. Please, just, can we talk about this over coffee. I know you don’t owe me anything but can we meet for lunch or something?,”

Before you could answer with a fat ass denial, Ms. Ernie is coming up with her noisy cart, scooting along with a small frown on her face.

“They done moved my tea, I had to ask for help,” she frowned. She was never the type to like asking for help in stores, she liked it when things were easy to find.

She moves to stand beside you, waiting for your response but then she notices the look of shock you’re wearing and meets Noah’s eyes. It took her a second before she gawked, looking to Noelle and back to Noah.

“That’s that baby’s daddy!,” she looks over her glasses and you loudly sigh at her statement. She didn’t always read the room well.

“Ms. Ernie!,”

“Sorry, honey but it’s undeniable,” she shrugs, looking back to Noah, “You gonna put that cake in my cart or just stand there looking pretty,”

Noah stammered before rushing to set the cake down in the cart and turning to you. Words seem to catch in his throat, not exactly sure what to say.

“I know you blocked us all on everything so just… reach out when you’re ready. I really would like to talk about all of this,”

“I gotta go” Looking to Ms. Ernie so that she would get the hint to start walking. You knew you were in for a long night of her lectures, no matter how insightful they always were, you weren’t ready.

You had a feeling for how the night would go now. This feeling had your stomach queasy as if you’re on a boat, feeling the waves rock you to and fro. It was hard to face the music but she was going to make you. That’s just how Ms. Ernie was, you just weren’t ready for her to be right about it all.

“Give him a chance, sweetie,”

Noelle was fast asleep while you leaned on Ms. Ernie’s shoulder, eating your cake and watching Wheel of Fortune. You wanted your night to go just like this but it wasn’t enjoyable, not with all that was plaguing your mind.

“I can’t let him back in,” you think about it, recalling how bad it hurt you the first time around, “Now that Noey is involved, I can’t let my guard down. I’m a mom now, I have to protect her,”

“I’m not saying throw your whole hand in,” she sipped her tea, “Have a drink with him. I can call Reid to help me with our cute lil plum,”

It wasn’t a secret to how badly you were emotionally wounded when you and Noah parted ways, but it also wasn’t a secret to Ms. Ernie just how bad you love him. From the day you met her, she claimed you and Noah would find your way back to each other. You always told her it was a fat chance. Even now, your heart was playing tug of war.

Do you stay away? Leaving him to wallow in his bad decisions? or do you lean into the possibility of mending things?

“I never stopped loving him, that’s why I’m scared,” you sit up to look at her, she looked so noble when looking at you over her glasses like that, “I watched him love me less and less until our love just became an empty shell. I watched him pick his job over me and I can’t put her through that,”

Ms. Ernie reached over to wipe your tears when she caught sight of your trembling chin. It was comforting, like a grandma tending to her grandchild while they experienced a melancholic mood.

“Take it slow. Take time to get to know the new him and he can take the time to get to know the new you,”

“Does he deserve that though?,”

“Mmm,” she shrugged, “Sometimes a lot of good can come out of a second chance. What if you and him were meant to part ways, only so you two could find each other again?”

“Love shouldn’t come to that, no?,” a twinge of confusion worming its way into your tone

“Oh honey. You’ve got a lot to learn about love,” she lightly swatted your leg, “No amount of time and space can separate you from those that are meant to be in your life. This is a second chance to create a new story,”

You called it. You knew she was gonna get all philosophical on you and be right about all of this.

“Don’t rush into it but…” she sighed, “Give it a shot,”

You don’t even know if you were strong enough to lift the metaphorical gun to give it a shot. Pondering her words each bite at a time while you finish your treat, how do you go about this without immediately falling in love with him again? He was so easy to love even when you didn’t want to, even in his faults. One look at him and it felt like the first day you met him.

You were standing at the bus stop one day, sighing at having to take public transportation as your anxiety has been in overdrive since your car was in the shop. Public transportation meant a lot of people in close quarters and you just couldn’t handle that right now.

In the midst of your mind being in a flurry, a group of rowdy men are approaching. You’re too caught up in trying to reduce your apprehension to notice them getting closer until a nameless man bumps into you, knocking your token out of your hand.

Watching it fly from your hand, floating in mid air, all you can do is try to catch it but it just wasn’t your day. Your token falls down the street drain and your gasp causes the rowdy group to stop.

“No! No, no, no, no noooo!,” you fall to your knees and look down the drain to see the token shining up from the bottom. It was mocking you.

“Dang it!,” your head falls in your hands, wallowing in embarrassment. The token station was 9 blocks away, there was no way you’d make it there and back in time. Of course the transit app wasn’t working on your phone either, you’d been telling yourself to get a new phone carrier for months now, now look at you.

“I’m… so sorry!,”

Removing your head from your hands, your eyes move in the direction in which the voice came. Your breath is instantly taken away once again but for a whole other reason.

“I can pay for another token,” he offers, helping you up, his large hands grasping your biceps to get you up right.

“No it’s okay I can-,”

“Please. It’s the least I can do,” the tall brunet insisted. Your words are caught in your throat, eyes trying to drink in his beauty before he becomes only a memory.

“Nice going, Noah!,” a tall blond wearing a hat pushes him.

“Watch where you’re going, asshole,” another chuckled, he was also decked out in tattoos, gorgeous black hair and glittering eyes.

But your eyes were on the inked man in front of you, the one who made your day even more of a rollercoaster than it already has been. While his friends make fun of him, your eyes are tracing over his tattoos, you’d never seen so many on one body in person before.

“Is… is that a Garden of Eden reference?,” you point to his neck.

He touches his throat and chuckles, a noise that you weren’t aware would change your life.

“Yeah, yeah it is,”

“It’s nice,” you mutter, afraid to speak above a certain octave. You don’t talk to people much, you were only a lonely librarian who went to work, staying in the basement all day to organize books and then go home.

“Thanks…?” he trails off but points to you ask if to ask you a question

“Y/N,” you spill out, “M-my name is Y/N,” you anxiously stick out your hand for him to take and shake, “I think he just called you Noah?,”

“Yeah that’s me,” his smile… my God his smile was hypnotizing. His smile could cure all sadness

“You owe me a bus pass,” you point out, “A-and… and I can pay you back over a cup of tea and some fresh scones at my favorite bakery downtown,”

Your confidence not only caught him off guard, but you as well. You’d never suggest something like that to someone and now you’re overthinking the fact that you’ve made such a fool of yourself.

“Sorry that was… that was abrasive and demanding. That was so rude. Y-you were just being nice and I just… you’re just so pretty and oh my God… Y/N shut up-,”

“Hey,” he softly talked over you, wanting to calm you down without scaring you.

“We’ll stick around until the bus comes so I can pay for your pass and we can trade numbers to set up a date for those scones,”

A date… a DATE?! You’ve only ever been on a handful of dates before and they all went terribly. Surely he didn’t mean like… a date-date, right? Like, you’re sure he just meant a little meetup so you could actually pay him back.

“O-okay!,” wide eyed, you nod your head and look around to his friends that are smiling and laughing and you don’t know if they’re laughing at you. It’s okay if they are, you’re used to it.

“Don’t mind them. They’re assholes,”

“We are not!,” a shorter man punches his arm, “I’m Nick by the way, but you can call me Folio. That’s Jolly, Nicholas, Matt, Davis and Bryan!,”

You nod to them all, making a note of their names.

“Y/N,” you sputter, “I’m Y/N,”

“We heard,” Jolly smiled.

“Right,” you give a bashful smile and turn from them to sit on the bench, “The buses are running 20 minutes late today so you really don’t have to wait,” you set your book in your lap.

“I insist. If these jerks are in a rush, they can go without me,” Noah throws a hand back at them. He’s not surprised that that’s exactly what they did.

They left Noah there, giving you two the chance to talk about the most random things, like your favorite book genres to read, things on your bucket list, aliens, paranormal shit. Just fun things. This is the most you’ve talked to any stranger you’ve ever met, you don’t even talk to your co workers like this.

Noah let you yap about your interests, he admired the way you animated your speech with your hands. He was absolutely enamored with the way you bounced in your seat when he brought up a topic that excited you and he made a mental bookmark so he could memorize the way your eyes close when you laugh.

Noah didn’t believe in love at first sight but this felt like it.

While discussing your favorite twilight characters, the noise of the approaching bus pulled you from your conversation, Noah can see how your face dropped. Your conversation went by too quickly.

“We can have more conversations like this,” Noah shows you his screen, displaying his number and you curse to yourself, knowing he can see you shaking while you hurry to type it into your phone. Your heart was beating out of your chest, he is so sweet and so fricken cute and his tattoos are so cool and he just sat here to talk to YOU?! No one ever just talks to you.

He’s even nice enough to help you onto the bus and get you seated before saying his saddened farewells to leave you. His demeanor gave off reluctance and you felt like you were in a rom-com when he stood outside the bus, waving as it began rolling away.

Your face was hotter than hell, there’s no way any of that just happened. Your phone felt heavy in your hands, demanding to be opened. Gnawing at your lip, your fingers dance on your screen, trying to figure out what to say.

You went with a simple text, something quirky. Something that you hope he’ll answer to and not ghost you after the way you opened up to him so easily.

“So… about those scones?”

All those memories flood back and you can feel the dampness of your face. Where did that Noah go?

How did your once grey world that become so colorful so quickly with his presence, fade into grey once more with his absence in the blink of an eye?

What happened to him that he became so detached? What was lying beneath the surface that he let fester until he let it impact your relationship?

You feel Ms. Ernie takes the plate away from you and rests her hand on your cheek, pulling you out of the pit you were digging with your overactive questioning.

“I got the spare bedroom ready for ya, go get some rest,”

Taking her advice, Noelle snuggled into you as you carried her to the spare room where Ms. Ernie had set up a spare bassinet. You had tucked her in, making sure she was safe and secure before plopping down on the bed with a large sigh, heels of your palms pressing into your eyes to subdue your flowing tears. Now that you were alone, the weight of everything came down.

Tired of feeling so scatterbrained, you grabbed your phone, tapping away at the screen to have your thumb hovering over his name. Was this a good idea? Do you give in this easily? Would this be healthy for your mental state right now? Maybe Matt was right, this wasn’t about you, this was about Noelle, she deserved her dad, right?

But what about protecting her? You didn’t want to introduce him into her life just for him to turn around and jump ship when things got too hard.

Here goes the vicious cycle of overthinking and all the possibilities that made themselves known with the heaviness, giving you no other choice but to feel it filling up your chest. How soon did you want to do this? Did you even want to do this at all?

You’ve been blaming yourself since that day at the market. Had you gone earlier like you always do, you wouldn’t have bumped into Matt, or if you had paid attention, you could have avoided him. There were so many outcomes the universe shuffled in its hand and yet the card you were dealt was the situation you were facing right now.

Finally having enough of your own inner dialogue, a deep breath escapes you when clicking on his contact, closing your eyes when hitting Unblock Caller

Just like the day you met him, you’re faced with the challenge of what to say, except this time there was nothing cute or quirky to say. It was simple and serious.

Tomorrow 12pm at the bakery downtown.

That’s all you could come up with before pressing send. It’s almost like he was waiting by his phone, waiting for you to reach out and it makes you kick yourself. What if this is a set up and you’re falling into his plan.

Wait, no.

Noah has messed up but, He wouldn’t do that… would he? He wouldn’t hurt you any further. You hope you’re right because now this is happening.

I’ll be there.

Sleep fought you all night. In and out of sleep to either tend to Noelle or simply because your mind wouldn’t power down for the night. When you were finally able to get some shut-eye, it was like it was already time for the sun to rise.

Ms. Ernie had breakfast ready for you after you fed Noelle, scooting around her quaint kitchen humming the tune of a classic she grew up listening to. Your nerves were bad as you thought of the day ahead.

“So, what are your plans today?,” she questions.

Slowly chewing your food, your eyes avert down to the table. Why do you feel so embarrassed to admit that you’re meeting him today despite her calling it?

“I uhm, I was going to ask if-,”

“Yes. Reid is already on his way,” the elderly woman delivered a smug expression, she’s been on Earth long enough to know how young love works.

You chuckle at her and shake your head, “You don’t even know what I was going to ask,”

“Baby, I can read you like a book. You’re gonna go see him. I could tell before you went to bed last night. We’ve spent enough time together for me to know you’re not over him,”

Knowing this fact made you feel an ounce of shame. You should be over him. He showed his ass last year yet you’re not sure if the alarm bells that are going off in your head are due to actual warning or if they’re sounding off because you can’t seem to do anything other than overthink. It’s a terrible habit and an even more terrible predicament to be in.

“Am I jumping into this?,” you rub Noelle’s back absentmindedly, enjoying the weight of her in your arms to ground you. Maybe you should have given it a couple days. Did it seem desperate to message him so soon? You were supposed to hate his guts

“It was going to have to happen at some point, dear,” she shrugs while cleaning the kitchen, “You’ve left some bricks of milk in the freezer, you’ve left some spare bottles, diapers, all that. With Reid here to help me she’s in good hands times 2,”

Almost as if she had summoned him, Reid knocks and enters through her front door, a bright smile on his face that you’ve come to learn really helps calm you down. You were thankful for the connections you’ve made since being on your own.

These people were your village and you were in good hands, meaning Noelle was too.

“Gooooooood morning!!,” he claps, hugging Ms. Ernie before moving to you to steal a piece of bacon off your plate. Reid hugs you as well, taking Noelle from your arms.

“I can’t forget you, sunshine!,” he holds her up in the air and she screams in excitement, dropping her head on his chest when he pulls her in.

Ms. Ernie could tell your nerves were getting the best of you, it’s happened enough times to know that spaced out look on your eyes.

“Finish eating and get ready. You can take my car,” she scoots around the kitchen to set her keys on the counter.

“I can call an Uber” not wanting to impose

“Nonsense!,” she waves her hand with a frown, “Your car is back at the cabin, my car doesn’t get much use cause I always take my truck. It’s not a problem,”

Reid sits beside you and rubs your back as a means of comfort, it’s written all over your face that you’re distraught, you never did master your poker face.

“Hey, you got this,”

You drop your head on the table and can feel the tears welling once more.

“Am I stupid for letting him in so easily?,” the familiar knot was forming in your throat, warning that tears would soon begin to fall if you didn’t pull yourself together, “He literally told me he didn’t love me like he used to, then last night says he never stopped. It’s hurting my head. I went about year without him and now I’m going to meet him and I’m terrified,”

“Y/N,” Reid began, “How do eat an elephant?,”

You turn to him and frown at his question. But this is Reid, you know he’s about to say something corny.

“How?,”

“One bite at a time,” he comforts, “It’s okay to feel nervous. It’s okay to overthink all of this and it’s okay to think about the cons. But what if this turns into something good?,”

“It was supposed to be something good the first time,” you hiccup. It’s just tearing you apart all over again to think about what could have been if he’d tried harder back then. You could have been a happy family instead of going through this.

“But then I guess I wouldn’t have met you guys,”

“Exactly. Everything happens for a reason,” Ms. Ernie interjects, “But if you get back with him, you better not forget us,”

Her words were jaw dropping, you know she was saying it as a joke but there was a twinge of truth in them. You all have gotten so close and it would crush her if you left and never looked back.

“I would never dream of it,”

You arrived at the bakery an hour early. Your thoughts wouldn’t slow down unless you did and your nerves were on fire the closer it got.

Maybe this was a bad idea. No… this definitely was a bad idea, right? This bakery brought so many memories. What kind of self torture is it to recommend meeting at the place you two had your first date?

It’s 12 now and he’s still not here. Your chest starts to ache and you don’t know if stress is the cause or if it’s because you knew this was too good to be true.

The reality of having a baby scared him off. He wasn’t ready to be a parent. He’s a big shot rock star, sitting here with the realization made it click that he’s not ready to give that up. He loved his job too much.

It was now 12:06 and there was still no sign of him. You weren’t going to text him, he shouldn’t need a reminder, especially because he never followed up today.

Exhaling mournfully, you gather your belongings, standing up to leave when you hear the bell to the front door and heavy, pattering feet-

“I’m here!!,” panting, hands on his knees as he gets to the table, “I’m here! Accident blocked off the highway- had to take a detour- sped here, no parking. Had to park 2 blocks away so I ran,” he slid into the booth, running a hand through his hair to calm down.

His face was cherry red, chest rising and falling quickly, he looked beat. You don’t say a word, you just slip him your water and he whispers his gratitude just as he chugs it, taking a napkin to wipe his mouth.

“I don’t have her here with me,” a monotonous tone leaves you.

He nods, taking a second to compose himself, trying to get his heart rate down so that he could have a calm conversation.

“I expected that,” leaning back in his seat, his eyes settle in on you and you start to feel self conscious, “You’re still as beautiful as the day I met you,”

“Noah,”

“No, I know I fucked up, Y/N. Trust me, no one knows more than me,” he leans his elbows on the table, dipping his head to catch your eyes that way you can see he was being honest, “I’ve kicked myself in the ass ever since then,”

“I can’t just let you back in, Noah,”

“And I don’t expect you to,” his hand comes to his lips, pressing on them as he thinks, “Everyday I thought about you and what I could have done better. I have therapy now, I learned better coping mechanisms. I know that’s something I should have done before I got that bad, but I didn’t just do it for you I did it for me because I wasn’t treating myself the nicest either,”

Maybe you should have taken a page out of his book and gotten help, but with being a single parent, you didn’t really have time for that.

“I loved you and I still do. You said that you probably weren’t the one for me but you’ve got it so wrong,”

His words reverberate off the walls of your ear canal. This is why all of this is confusing. If he was going through something mentally, why wasn’t he honest instead of shattering you to pieces?

“You’re just saying that because there’s a baby in the picture,” you accuse.

“Ask Matt… ask Nicholas even. This has been going on since the day you left. Finding out about our daughter only solidified it even more that I want a life with you,”

There’s no way this is genuine.

“Noah, I can’t just trust y-,”

“I know. You set the pace, I will respect that,”

There.

Those words started to chip away at the walls that you’d built up. They must not have been very thick, or very strong. Or maybe Noah just had that ability.

“Do you… can I see pictures of her at least?,” He asks as if he’s nervous almost, “I get it if you don’t want to I just-,”

A part of you wanted to tell him no. You didn’t want to reveal her to him just yet. He should work a little harder to prove that he’s legitimate in his stance. A few words shouldn’t grant him this opportunity. Nevertheless, your iced out attitude began melting at his expression, showing him a couple pictures wouldn’t hurt.

“No I can,” you open your phone to your camera roll, having a whole album of her. You’ve taken pictures of her since the day you had her. She’s a beautiful baby and you suppose he could see pictures of his own child, he’s missed out on enough, hasn’t he?

“This is when she was born. I did a water birth,” you show him a picture of you holding her, umbilical cord still attached, “My medical staff was great,”

Then you slid through the album showing him other pictures absolutely adoring your daughter and how cute she is

“This is the first time she smiled at me,” you look at him and you can see the sparkle in his eyes as he stares at the screen. There was a gentle smile on his lips, registering in his mind that this little human was a piece of him.

“She’s a sweet baby. Doesn’t really cry, she’s a squealer when she laughs,”

You play videos of her giggling and babbling and he is instantly in love, seeing this look on his face stirs a guilt inside of you that you never felt before. Maybe he should have known. Things could have been resolved by now had you not been selfish.

But there’s that nagging little voice telling you that you deserved to be selfish at least once in your life. It felt like your mind was in a blender.

“What’s her name?,” he looks to you hopefully. Were you ready to give him that information? It’s silly but the more he knows, the easier it will be for him to tear down the walls you built around yourself. It’ll make it easier for him to weasel his way into the picture again and you weren’t sure yet if you wanted to keep this a co-parenting arrangement or what.

“You don’t have to tell me right now,” he sees the hesitation on your face.

“Noelle,” you answer softly, “Her name is Noelle. I named her after you. But we also call her Sunshine, Plum or Noey, that one’s new,”

He broke out in the brightest smile you’d ever seen. You missed that smile, those beautiful lips framing his beautiful teeth. It was a smile that once brought you peace that is now bringing confusion.

“That’s…,” he gives a breathy chuckle, using his fingers to press into his eyes to keep the tears at bay, “That’s lovely,”

“Yeah, look at who her mom is,” you flip your hair as a joke and suddenly the tension isn’t as heavy. You’re supposed to be icy right now but the hopeless romantic within you is fighting the broken-hearted girl. One could only guess who is winning.

“Yeah, exactly,” Noah is seen getting nervous as the conversation progresses, he doesn’t know what questions are off limits, “So what are you up to these days? You’re not at the library anymore,”

“You looked for me at the library?,” you frown. You left that place a long time ago.

“I sat out on the bench everyday for at least three months before we had to leave for tour,”

Why couldn’t he give you that energy before? Where he used to meet you outside on the bench after you got off, sometimes with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and sometimes with your favorite take out and you’d have little date nights on the library bench. Why did that flame have to die?

Was life about to present you with new, better tools? Improved ways to bring it back? To make it a raging forest fire that can’t be put out? A lover like you can only hope.

“I work from home. With finding out about Noelle I needed something relaxed, I’m still in the field of library science. I work as an analyst,”

His eyebrows perked up, just like the first time you two ever met when you told him what you did for a living. His interest now was a big 180 from last year.

“Y/N that’s.. that’s amazing,” he leans forward, prompting you to talk about it more. You go on and on about your job, about how cool it is to you and he sat there and listened. Not once did he break eye contact, he interacted with the conversation and it felt like things were how they used to be.

“How’s the Bad Omens life?,” you ask, finally getting winded from talking about yourself.

Noah plasters a look of pride on his face. You wanted so badly to keep up with them but that would do you a disservice while trying to mend what was hurting you.

“It’s great! We’re blowing up, so many more places we can tour now, merch sales are off the hook. We have a new one dropping soon and I uh… I designed one for Noelle, I’ll just need her size,”

His words caught you off guard. How does he have something planned for her already?

“Noah,” he’s got you swooning so easily. This was your Noah.

Snap out of it, Y/N!

If he’s serious, make him work for it.

“I think it’s pretty cute! Nicholas and I brainstormed on it together, it’s a Bad Omens x Noelle exclusive,”

The laughter that escaped you was a melody Noah thought he’d never hear again. When it dies down, his mouth begins to itch with a question he’s been wondering for a long time now.

“Are you,” he clears his throat, “Are you seeing anyone?,”

Your eyes flicker at his question, adjusting in your seat. Snatching the cup of water that was on the table, looking him in his eyes when you set it down after a sip.

“I told you,” tongue in cheek, playing with your fingers to ease your mind, “I wouldn’t be able to fall in love with anyone else. You were it for me,”

You search his eyes, wanting to cry for the sole basis that you never thought you’d see them again. They were the eyes you looked to whenever you were desolate, excited, or livid. No matter what you were feeling you could simply look at him and he was always there, until he wasn’t.

“I meant it when I said I loved you and you fucking sat there and told me that you didn’t love me like you used to,”

“I don’t know why I said that-,”

“It gutted me,” anguish covers your face like a mask, trying to keep yourself from crying while that night replays in your mind like a movie, “You just sat there like it didn’t even hurt you,”

“It hurt me like you wouldn’t believe,” he persisted

“So why didn’t you try?,” your lip hurts from biting it so hard, if you don’t stop it’ll bleed soon enough, “I gave you so much of me, even up until I couldn’t, when I had nothing left and you just… sat there!,”

“I was an idiot,” he admitted, “I fucked up when I decided to love my career more than anything. I messed up when I let it weigh me down,”

“I don’t care that you loved your career, Noah. I cared whether you showed up for us or not. You did until you became complacent,”

“I know I didn’t,” he answers, “I know I didn’t try hard enough. I know I gave up too quickly and those decisions have been haunting me every fucking day. I know I made this bed but I don’t wanna lie in it anymore,”

Taking a napkin from the table to wipe your eyes, you look around to make sure no one is looking at you. You thought in your mind that you’d be stronger but deep down, you expected the tears even though it’s embarrassing to be this emotional in public.

“Were you even honest with everyone or did you make me the villain?,”

“I told them it was mutual,” he confesses in shame.

Choking on your sobs, you shake your head and just look out the window, “So you made them think I just skipped town? That’s so fucked up, Noah. I would have never done that to you,”

“I will tell them the truth,” He panicked, “I don’t know why I lied to them I just… I knew they’d make the guilt worse and I figured the damage was done. I knew if they knew the truth they’d make me reach out but after that I didn’t have the right to reach out to fix it,”

There’s a silence that floats between you two after his words. The culpability of hurting you ate at him while the heartache gnawed away at you.

Both were parasites feeding on their hosts. Ruining their lives, doing their best to reduce them to nothing.

The parasitism ends here though.

“If-” you hiccup, gathering your things, “If you want even a sliver of a chance of being in Noelle’s life… of us getting back together, of us being a family… then you’ll start with being honest with our friends,”

Noah was so anxious that he just might throw up. He wanted you back and he didn’t want to miss out on having a family. He’s missed out on enough due to his own transgressions.

It took Noah a few days to muster up the strength to tell everyone. Every time he tried, he stumbled over his words and gave up. He had to do this though, it wasn’t fair to lie on your name to save his face.

Noah found himself with the guys, all gathered for game night. Snacks spread out all over the table, Folio was high, laughing while throwing a squid at Matt on the course, fucking up Matt’s winning streak. All of them were having a good time but Noah couldn’t focus on having fun, what he was about to confess wasn’t fun by any means. After a few rounds of Mario Kart, he paused the game and sighed, many groans of dismay being heard around the living room.

“What’s your problem?,” Jolly questioned, “I was about to whoop your ass on the Bone-Dry Dunes!,”

Noah felt his breathing pick up. It was now or never.

“It wasn’t mutual,” he blurts out, heart racing in his chest, he can hear his blood rushing in his ears.

“The fuck are you talking about?,” Folio burps obnoxiously loud and Bryan kicks him for being gross about it.

“Y/N and I, the break up wasn’t mutual,” he finds his switch controller a lot more interesting than the feeling of their eyes burning holes into his skin.

“Again, that begs the question… what the fuck are you talking about?,” Matt’s voice sounds strained, like he knows and is getting irritated with the suspense.

“Before she left. I told her that I didn’t love her like I used to. I got overwhelmed with the band. I was… I got deep in my head and started to self sabotage. I neglected her and I fucked up,”

A stillness dresses the air, Noah can feel the tension. He can’t bring himself to look up and see their expressions, he’s ashamed, he should be. How did he go so long with this secret? How did he go about his life knowing he broke the trust of one of the sweetest souls that walked this Earth?

“Woah…,” Davis muttered in a daze. His single word response was enough to have all hell breaking loose.

“I’m going to kick your fucking ass!,” Nicholas threw his controller at Noah, heat from his frustration reddening his cheeks, “Are you fucking kidding me, Noah? Is that why she ran off?,”

“That’s exactly why,” he nodded, cursing at himself. He feels so embarrassed to say it out loud. This is the first he’s ever admitted this outside of therapy. These are people that mattered, people whose opinions mattered the most.

Matt sat up like he’d seen a ghost, a light bulb moment happening for him, “That’s why she didn’t tell you about the baby,”

“BABY?!,” Folio screeched, “where the fuck was I?!,” Hands stuck out as if to gesture “wtf” Folio was always ten steps behind everyone else, even when he was in the room at the time of conversations.

“You were super high, you passed out,” Jolly waved at him to shut up, turning to Noah, “You’re our brother which means I have to be honest. That is a dick ass move, Noah. She was nothing but patient with you. She loved you, supported you even when it was hard because you were gone all the time. What the fuck?,”

“She was always there no matter what you needed,” Bryan added, while it took a while for you to open up to everyone, when you did, they became your little family, “She was always there for you, always there for us,”

“I miss when she packed our lunches for the studio,” Folio sighed like he was daydreaming. Once again finding it hard to read the room.

“Not the time!,” Nicholas gritted through his teeth

“I’m just saying!,” Folio defended, “She took care of all of us,”

Nicholas stuck out his hand to shut Folio up. If there was anyone up in arms about this, it was him. They all became your family and it hurt them when you left without a word. Now that he knows the full story, it makes him livid to know it was Noah who pushed you away. This could have been avoided.

“We were worried sick about her, Noah!,” Nicholas was more upset than any of them, and that’s saying a lot, the others were quite upset, “That girl who stuttered over her words the first time she met you still stuttered after years of being with you because she loved you, because you still made her nervous! After years of being with you she was still smitten and because of the stress.. you… y-you say that shit to her?,”

Noah really had no rebuttal. He knew Nicholas was right. There were no words for him to defend himself with. It almost brought him to tears, unsettled by his own behavior and now that other people know… now that the people closest to him know- it changes everything and forces him to reflect even more.

“Instead of talking to her, talking to us to keep you from doing something so stupid- instead of doing.. anything! You pull a coward ass move!,”

Nicholas viewed you as if you were a younger sibling, taking you under his wing, understanding your reclusive personality. He was the first person you connected to outside of Noah. He had a feeling when he only ever got vague answers when asking about the break up.

“It was time I was honest. I want to make this right with her. I want a chance to see my daughter and be a dad but it starts with honesty.” Noah mumbled, “I just want her back and I want a second chance whether I deserve it or not. I want to be there for Y/N like I always should have been. I want to be there for Noelle. I’m sorry it took so long to come clean.”

“Yeah?,” Matt’s jaw clenches as he ponders what has been said. He has his own thoughts regarding the matter but Nicholas seemed to cover them all for the most part, “I hope she makes you work like hell for it!,”

All Noah can really do is agree, they’re right. He was a coward, he did take the easy way out instead of facing his own problems and insecurities, and you should make him work like hell to get you back, to earn his place in Noelle’s life.

“Noelle,” Folio trails off, giggling to himself as he says the name, “Noeeeellee,”

“Dude, shut the fuck up!,” Jolly shouted with a bit of laughter layered underneath, Folio is such an airhead, it’s hard to have serious conversations like this around him. At least it eases some tension.

“It’s a cute name!!,”

“She’s an adorable baby,” Matt confirmed, “I only got a glimpse of her but she looks just like Noah,”

“Nah,” Noah shook his head, “She has my eyes but she has the curl of Y/N’s lashes. She has my lips but she has her mama’s chin. She has my dimples but Y/N’s cheeks. She’s both Y/N and me. She’s beautiful,”

Davis scoffs, raising his eyes, “Well you better get your shit together,”

“Yeah! I’m ready to be one kick ass uncle!,”

“Shut up, Folio!,”

You had taken it upon yourself to unblock everyone, figuring that if Noah told them the truth that they’d want to reach out, which they did.

It was scary at first, Noah had been a coward but you had your cowardly moments as well. Running off and not saying a word to people who cared about you- it wasn’t the nicest thing to do. Going through this with Noah had you realizing there are some things you would have done differently. This is a time of self reflection for everyone.

Although you’d been talking with them over the last week or so, you didn’t let the conversation stray too far from how you were doing. You weren’t ready to introduce them to Noelle or the idea of her just yet, you’re sure Noah has talked about her a bunch but you didn’t want to get too close to everyone again as of right now.

Ms. Ernie and Reid have been watching Noelle while you and Noah rebuild yourselves.

Dates that you made sure to let him know weren’t ‘actual dates’, walks at the park that turned into introspective discussions. It was all a work in progress and it made Ms. Ernie’s words hit even harder, there’s a lot to learn about love and that sometimes second chances are worth it.

You made him work like hell, but he was doing pretty well. He had different plans each day you guys hung out. He was attentive. He was gentle, he even told you about what he and his therapist talked about after each session.

In reality, you could tell he was doing better. You still had some reservations and there was still a long way to go but ultimately he was making a true effort. You could see the change he was making. Granted, it was a change that should have happened a long time ago but things happen the way they’re supposed to and when they’re supposed to.

That sentiment itself was a hard pill to swallow.

Today he took you on a picnic in the park, packed your favorite foods and drinks. He was really laying it on thick, others might find it cringe but it was making your heart flutter.

“I never did thank you, for telling them the truth,” popping a grape in your mouth, “I know it wasn’t easy,”

“It needed to happen. I knew better and I shouldn’t have lied to them but most importantly, I shouldn’t have lied on you. I was a coward and that’s not who I want to be to you… or Noey,”

A pleasant hum emitted from your chest, brows raising at the nickname that left his mouth.

“That one seemed to stick, huh?,”

“Noey is different… and it’s super close to Noah,”

“Noelle is already close to Noah!,” you bicker, both of you in high spirits while you go back and forth

“Noah has four letters and so does Noey,”

“Oh you’re such a kiss ass!,” you push him and he falls over dramatically.

“Help! Someone help!,” he shouted, feigning like he was injured

“Oh my God, Noah, stop! Someone is gonna think you’re serious!,” you reach over him to cover his mouth but he licks it and you squeal

“EEUUUGHHH!! You’re so gross!!,” you yank your hand back, he’s laughing like a hyena. Eyes wrinkling, hand in his chest and head thrown back.

“You used to do that to me all the time!” Justifying his action, you stick your tongue out at him while wiping your wet palm on his cheek

“Which means you can’t steal my move!,”

It was tense the first couple of meet ups and each one gets you closer to bringing Noelle around. These past couple of times had broken the ice and it started to feel like time hadn’t passed.

“Hey uhm, are you?- do you still live at the house?”

Noah settles down, feeling the energy shift to something a little more serious.

“Yeah. Didn’t have the guts to move. Why?,”

You twist grapeless vine in your hands, afraid to say the words now that you’re feeling comfortable to bring it up. It’s about 2 months of this and Noelle is a little over 6 months now.

“I’d like to bring Noelle by,”

Noah struggled for air, coughing up his drink and you can’t help but snicker at the liquid dripping off his chin.

“What?,” his eyes are as big as saucers

“Unless you’re not ready. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed,”

“No! No, I.. Y/N you have no idea how much I would love that,”

If you weren’t mistaken, you swear you see tears welling in his eyes

“I’d love to meet my daughter,”

This was a big step for you and an even bigger one for Noah. Both of you were scared beyond your wits.

“I’d like for it to just be us and then we can work up to getting the guys to meet her? And then you can meet Ms. Ernie, Reid and his husband, Morgan,”

You had to make sure to set some ground rules, Noah responded without any issues knowing that at the end of the day- you call the shots and he has to abide by them if he wants this to work. Yet despite feeling good about all of this, there’s still a smidge of uncertainty.

“What’s on your mind?,” even after all the time spent apart, reading you was like muscle memory.

“I still feel resentful,” you look to him to see his shoulders sagging, “I know you’re tired of it,”

“I don’t expect you to get over any of this anytime soon. In a way, you’re grieving and I can’t police how long you mourn. I can only help ease it,”

You didn’t really think of what you were going through as mourning but you guess you can see the similarities. What you two had was long gone and even in the face of starting over, albeit with the same person, you were still allowed to miss how things were and feel a bit out of sorts about what happened.

“It’s just,” you watch his hands as he picks at his palms, a nervous tick he’s always had. You’re once again feeling a sort of guilt making him feel like this but it’s a price he has to pay, right? You didn’t ask to be hurt to begin with.

“Resentment is so weird. I want to forgive you, Noah. So fucking bad I want to forgive you because I can’t keep doing this with you, I wish I could forget so I could just… hug you, kiss you, hold your hand like we used to,”

“You set the pace, Y/N. I told you no matter what, I respect it. I wish I could take it all back. God, I wish there was a way for me to go back so I didn’t fuck up and hurt you,”

“And my mind is struggling to comprehend why the fuck you would do that to me,” anger bleeds into your tone.

Noah is seen blubbering like a fish out of water as he tries to find his words. You can see the cogs turning in his mind, recalling the very night he ruined what you two had.

“There’s no explanation,” he declared, there was nothing good enough to excuse why he did what he did.

“No excuse, no reasoning that will ever be good enough for what I said to you. For how I treated you. It was unacceptable and there are no words to describe how apologetic I am. All I can say is, is that I’m so thankful you’re here, even giving me this chance,”

“You were all I could think about,” turning your body to him, he needed to know the turmoil you endured, “You hadn’t touched me in almost 3 months by the night I left. I was so consumed with the stress I didn’t realize I missed my period. I went to the doctor and that’s when I heard our little girl’s heartbeat,”

It didn’t get past him that you finally said our daughter and not just “my”. At this point, he has turned to look at you, listening closely, making sure you knew he was paying attention.

“I moved to the countryside and that’s where I met Ms. Ernie and Reid. They were my people while I was managing heartbreak. Keeping myself physically and mentally healthy so I could bring Noelle into this world. You… you should have been there Noah, you could’ve been there,”

“I know,” he blinks, tears falling down his cheeks just like yours were, “I missed out on so much because I couldn’t get my own shit together,”

“I took that pain and restructured it to fuel me so I could be the best parent I could be. I never thought I’d be sitting here in front of you. I never expected to see you again. Ever. But despite all the alarm bells, I am so fucking glad I am because I missed you, Noah. But I hate you so much at the same time,”

His face fashioned that of anguish at your last few words. It was hurting him but he didn’t look away from you, he didn’t hide his eyes, he’s now feeling what you felt that night and then some.

The anxiety. The fear, the fucking aching that burned from his gut all the way up into his throat. The pounding in his head, the heat that blanketed his skin. He can’t believe he did this to you. He can’t believe he sat across from you at the table that night, watching you fall apart and still said what he said.

“I don’t know how you expect us to rebuild anything,” your voice flows into his ears and he can feel his chest tightening, finding it harder to keep his breathing at a normal pace.

“Hell, I don’t even know how I expect us to rebuild anything but I’m going to try because that’s what you should have done!,”

“I-I know. Fuck, I.. I’m aware,” taking a deep breath to try to swallow his cries.

“I’m going to do what you couldn’t do,” a wild fire burns behind your eyes and he realizes this is a new you. The soft spoken Y/N is still there but this version of you takes no shit. You have a daughter now, you had to build tough skin

“I’m going to prove to you that fighting for what you want isn’t a lost fucking cause. I’m going to show you that no matter what is going on in your head, no matter what the voices are telling you- that I am here and I will be here until we are dust returned to the universe, Noah,”

You hated to see the way he dug his fingernails into his palms and you wanted nothing more than to grab his hands to massage the tension and cramps away.

“I know this is eating at you,” you whisper, “For the longest time I wanted it to. But not anymore,”

A great tremor overtook him, flexing his jaw to ease the ache from clenching it so hard. He had to break eye contact just this once to look up at the sky to will the tears away.

“Just take a page out of my book and take what you’re feeling to change and be better. No more apologies. Don’t be sorry, be better,”

“You sure you got everything?,” Reid packed your diaper bag into the front while you buckled Noelle into her carseat.

“Yeah I got my cooler for the bricks. My pump, extra clothes, extra wipes-,” you continue to list other items and at this point you’re not listing them to Reid, you’re listing them because you’re scared. 

“You got this,” Ms. Ernie kisses your cheek and you look at her with worry, “Don’t look at me like that. You both are going to be okay. He’s been groveling for weeks on end, he’s been respectful, if you want to back out I’m sure he’d understand?,”

“No! No. I think I’m ready. She’s already 6 months old now, he deserves this much,” It’s crazy to think that you’ve been at this with Noah for about a few months now.

You’re wrapped in an embrace of them both, Reid whispering words of reassurance as he pulls away, helping you settle in the car.

“Let us know when you get there, okay?,” Ms. Ernie waves from her front step.

You assure her that you’ll do just that. A lively wave is sent their way as you pull out of the driveway to make it to a house that you once called home, a house that could have been a home for Noelle. 

You didn’t need a GPS, you’d never forget the way there even if you tried. You could drive there blindfolded. The drive really wasn’t that long and a part of you wishes it was because when you pull up your stomach is full of butterflies. 

He’s probably nervous too. Don’t stress about it. As if he was waiting by the door, he’s out on the porch, wiping his hands on a paper towel when you exit your vehicle.

“Need help with anything?,” a nervous smirk across his face, he looks like he’s going to throw up at any second.

“Wanna grab the diaper bag and cooler?,”

He didn’t give a verbal answer. He was already down the steps and to your car before you finished asking. You grabbed Noelle’s carrier and waited for him to get the other items. Seeing him with the lavender diaper bag on his shoulder stirred a feeling inside of you. He looked like a dad, he looked good. A yearn made itself present in your body, you just wanted to be a family.

“Follow me,” 

You could tell he was excited, excited but tense. He didn’t want to fuck this up. 

Once you’re settled in the house, he heads upstairs, mumbling that he’ll be right back. When taking your jacket off to hang it on the second hook on the back of the door, you realize the hook still has your name on it. He never took it off, this was your hook, everyone knew not to hang their things on it. And beside yours, you see one for Noelle. Noah, Y/N and Noelle. Your fingers brush against the names and a smile creeps on your face.

“I know she probably already has one but I figured it would be nice if she had one here. She’ll probably end up falling asleep depending on how long you stay,”

You turn around to see a lavender playpen with her name on the side.

“In a lot of the videos and pictures you showed me, she’s wearing lavender so..,”

“Noah,” you coo, stepping over to him, “That’s so sweet,” 

You turn to Noelle in her carrier and unbuckle her, “If you wanna go wash your hands, you can hold her,”

“Yeah?,” his eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas. He didn’t even wait for you to answer before he’s jogging into the kitchen to scrub his hands clean. About a good minute later he’s rushing back in but he seems hesitant. 

“Don’t worry,” you assure him, “I show her pictures just like I show you pictures. She knows you. She won’t really be fussy” 

You cradle her while handing her over to him.

“She likes to be held like this, just support her neck,” 

Noah takes her from you softly, his large hands make her seem so small, even at six months. He stares at her in awe and sits down gently. Noelle babbles at him, waving her hands and smiling. 

“Hiii, baby girl,” 

You can hear the tears as he speaks to her and you take a seat beside him, not bothered by how close you were.

“I’m your papa,” he chokes on his words, caressing her cheek with the back of his finger, “You’re so beautiful just like your mama,”

There weren’t many words said as Noah soaked in this moment with you watching. His breath is silently hitching from his tears but he only cries harder when Noelle reaches out and touches his cheek, seemingly wiping a tear away.

Noah sits back on the sofa, setting his feet flat on the cushion so he could lay Noelle on his thighs so that she was sitting up.

“You’re so sweet,” he kisses her hand, causing her to squeal and giggle. He looks to you with wide eyes and a bright smile

“You were right!,” 

“I told you!!,” you lean closer and watch the way Noelle is taking in the moment as well. She stares at Noah with a look of bewilderment, she’s never been around him physically yet relaxes into him like she’s known him since day one. She knows that’s her papa.

“Thank you,” he says simply, “I’m far from deserving but thank you so much, Y/N,”

“You deserve to be a dad, Noah. And she deserves one,”

“I won’t fuck this up,”

“You better not,” you poke his cheek, “Because she needs you… we both do,”

You let Noah record videos of him and her, letting him make up for lost time. He carefully danced around the living room with her while playing happy baby songs.

“I heard songs like this make them happy!,” he insisted. Each time she squealed he hugged her tighter, absolutely adoring the sound of his baby laughing with him. You couldn’t help but record some videos of your own, wanting to look back at this moment. 

The foundation still needed some work but what is life without the effort? What’s love without effort? He said he wouldn’t screw it up this time and you’re holding him to his word.

“She’s down for bed,” Noah comes down the stairs, heading to the kitchen to return with two mugs 

“She’s never fallen asleep that fast,” taking a mug from him, you smell your favorite tea in the way he used to make it. 

“Does she wake you up throughout the night? I can be on baby duty so you can rest. U-unless you planned on going home tonight. I can drive you home, I don’t want you driving while you’re tired,” he offered.

“Can we stay?,” circling the rim of your cup, finding the heat from your tea comforting. 

“You two always have a place here,” he sets the baby monitor on the table and takes a sip of his coffee. He was always a late night coffee drinker, at least it was decaf, he just liked the taste. 

There was a comfortable lull that fell over you two and sitting on this very couch in this living room felt like home, like you belonged here. You made a home out of the cabin in the countryside but *this… this is where you felt like you were meant to be. Drinking your warm beverages on the couch while your child slept, simply enjoying each other’s company.

Noah randomly stands up and turns the tv on. He’s getting a game console, plugging it up and connecting the remotes. You’re watching in confusion while he does this all as if he’s on a mission. 

Once he gets everything connected he pulls out a game case. 

Michael Jackson: The Experience

“Nooaaaaaah,” you say suspiciously, “What are you doing?,” setting your cup on the side table, you watch with a questioning frown when he moves the coffee table

“Stand up,” insisting with a wide grin, he takes your hand despite your wariness

“What are we doing, Sebastian?” 

“We’re putting all those nights practicing with the music videos to use. I scored these at a yard sale and figured we could dance to some good ole Michael like we used to,” 

He hands you a Wii remote and the butterflies erupt again, spotting the same broken lampshade that he still hasn’t gotten rid of. 

“You think you still got it?,” you tease, wrapping the band around your wrist. 

He scoffs loudly, rolling his eyes, “You wish I lost it,” 

“Put your money where your mouth is,” 

He side eyes you with a little smirk, choosing the song he wanted to dance to. You expected Thriller, hell maybe even Ghosts. But he surprised you when he chose Do You Remember the Time

“If I win. I get to take you out on a romantic date,” he sighs triumphantly, he knows since you two started to rebuild something new, you didn’t want to get too romantic just yet.

“Okay,” you nod confidently, much to his surprise, “But if I win… you’re on baby duty for a night. That means getting up to feed her, change her diaper, cuddle-,”

“All I’m seeing is a win-win situation here,” turning back to the screen he hits play, “Bring your A game. I’ve been practicing for this very moment,” 

He says it as if he’s joking but he was serious. This was a song you two spent many nights listening to, belting it at the top of your lungs during late night drives, to dancing in the kitchen to it after date night. 

This little gesture may seem like just a night of dancing to a game to you but it was much more to him. So when the gold room appeared on the screen after picking your characters, he became timorous.

The beat begins and you feel a little silly following the movements at first. You hadn’t danced with Noah in ages but he probably feels just as goofy. You notice him missing a few beats and peak to see him adoring you, the way your nose crinkles when you smile, the way your eyes move across the screen, trying to focus.

“You’re not gonna win if you keep staring at me, Sebastian!,” 

“Fuck!,”

~Do you remember when we fell in love? We were young and innocent then~

You trip over your feet as the dance begins to incorporate footwork, glaring at Noah when you hear him laughing at you.

~Do you remember, back in the fall? We’d be together all day long~

You bend your knees and shimmy your feet along the carpet while Noah stands tall and moves in the opposite direction over you. Feeling him this close, despite just playing a game, had your heart palpitating. 

You never thought you’d have nights like this again. With anyone, let alone Noah. 

You hear Noah singing to himself while he follows the dance moves to a T, seeing his score get higher than yours had you ready to wreck his streak.

“Do you remember the time when weeee first met, girl?” He sang obnoxiously while looking at you, purposely singing off key. You snicker at his expressions, missing a move but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

Noah seemed so carefree and comfortable in this moment that it started to overshadow what had once hurt you, somewhat putting it on the back burner. 

~Those sweet memories, will always be dear to me~

You and Noah are now face to face, chest to chest, you two seemed to forget the game. Both of you breathing heavily from laughing and going all out on the dance moves.

“You’re gonna lose,” you pipe up, turning around to focus back on the game. You knew that if you stood there any longer you’d have kissed him. 

Noah seemed to snap out of his daze, immediately hopping back into where he was. You have to squat in front of him for the next move and it seems to last forever, feeling the burn like you’re in the gym.

“Oh my God!,” groaning in relief when you’re finally able to move from your position but the relief doesn’t last long when you’re made to go back, moving your arms up and feeling his hands touch yours. 

It sounds dramatic but you swear you feel a little tingle when he touches you. Maybe it was static or maybe it was the fact you missed his touch. A sensation that you felt so safe in, so comfortable and loved. 

You two slide away from each other, swinging your arms back and forth. You’re still following the screen but Noah decides to freestyle. Falling to his knees to sing the song to you, you’d worry about waking Noelle up but she was a deep sleeper. 

“Do you remember girl?,” he holds his fists up, singing passionately, “On the phone! You and me!! Till dawn, 2 or 3. What about us, GIRL!!,” 

You can’t help but throw your head back in entertainment at his dramatics. He was a performer for sure.

“Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya- in the park, on the beach! You and me, in Spain! What about, what about- rrrap tap tap, rrrap tap tap!,”

His ad libs bounce off the walls and you’re losing it.

“You look insane!,” you say over his off-key singing. 

He continues to sing despite your judgment, standing up and grabbing you by the shoulders, shaking you playfully

“Yeah! Yeah! Wooo!!,” 

The game is now complete and you fall back on the couch to catch your breath.

“I freestyled and I STILL won!,” he claps and points at you, “Pick out your prettiest dress, doll face because we’re going on a DATE!,” 

He stands in front of you, hands on his hips in victory and all you can do is cherish the view.

“Come here,” you stand before him, hearing your heart pound in your ears as he steps forward until his chest is level with your eyes, his famous chain glinting in the light on the room.

“What’s up?,” the confidence he just displayed was now replaced with diffidence. 

“You better not hurt me again,” it was strange being this close to him, “If you hurt me you’ll not only lose me but Sunshine as well and I don’t want that for her. So if this is going to happen- you talk to me when your insecurities set in. You talk to me before you self sabotage. You talk to me no matter what so that you continue to show up for our little girl. Do you understand me?,”

Noah nods his head so quickly that you think it just might fall off and roll away.

“I understand. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I love you and I love our baby. I was a fool to fuck up the first time. I won’t be that again,” 

“Good,” you nod, stepping away before patting his cheek with a sly grin.

“Because you’re on baby duty tonight,” 

His jaw drops at your antics, he doesn’t mind really. He’s starting to feel like an actual father now.

“But I won!!,”

You wake up abruptly to Noelle screeching, a type of cry you’ve never heard before and you turn to see Noah’s spot empty. Scrambling to get out of bed, you rush downstairs to see him panicking, tears in his eyes and red in the face

“I’m sorry,” he muttered to her, frantically trying to calm her 

“What happened??,” you kept your composure, not wanting to stress him out anymore than he already is. He hands you Noelle and he pulls at his roots, absolutely distraught and upset with himself.

“She was hungry and I… I heated up her milk for too long. Fuck, Y/N I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-,”

“Noah,” a soft hand on his chest, “It happens. She’s okay,” 

“I made her cry,” 

“She’s okay,” you reassure, “See,” you wipe her tears and she’s just left whimpering now.

You take his hand to sit him down at the table and give Noelle back to him despite his fear

“Don’t tense up. She’ll feel it and become fussy. Relax,” 

He took heed to your words, relaxing so that Noelle could follow suit.

“I should have put a brick in the fridge to thaw,” you mention, “I usually do if I know I’ll be too tired to breastfeed but I was exhausted so it slipped my mind. A brick will usually thaw in the fridge overnight and when it’s time, just set it in a cup of warm water for a few minutes and you’ll be good to go,” 

You take her bottle and run it under some cool water, testing it on your wrist, deeming it cool yet warm enough for her to drink. You sit beside Noah and hand him the bottle. 

“Here, you’re all set. 45 degree angle while she drinks,” you instruct. He follows your words and Noelle hums around the bottle, cuddling into Noah’s shirtless chest, “She likes skin to skin contact while feeding. Now she’ll really know you’re her papa,” 

You realize this is the same table he broke your heart at, tracing the pattern of the mahogany wood. You wouldn’t let that night haunt you anymore. Here’s to new memories. Now, this table will be remembered as the table that he fed your daughter for the first time, a learning experience for him. 

“I’m so sorry for hurting you, honey,” he whispered to her, kissing her forehead while her eyes fluttered sleepily, “I’m still learning but it won’t happen again,” 

You know his words were directed to you as well, finding solace in the reassurance. 

Once you teach him to burp her, the three of you make your way upstairs and back to bed.

“You can put her in the crib,” climbing into the bed that was once yours to claim. He took the time to build her crib and didn’t even wanna put her in it.

“I will once I’m ready to sleep, I just want to spend time with her is all,” 

Despite the infant sleeping, he wasn’t ready to put her down. His hair was thrown all over his head, his eyes here heavy but he was willing to fight sleep just to hold her in his arms for as long as he could. 

“I missed out on enough, I just wanna hold her,” 

“Okay,” you nod, sitting up and scooting closer to rest your head on his shoulder, “Sing, you are my sunshine, to her. It’s her favorite song and I think she would like to hear it from you,” 

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” he begins with ease, “You make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away,” 

“You are my star shine,” you add in, “My only star shine,” 

You reach over to hold her small hand, resting your hand on his chest,

“I love you so much, each night and day,” 

Noah leans his head on yours, finding comfort in the words you sing. 

“You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my star shine away,” 

You look up to Noah, refusing to move your head off his shoulder so he rears back to look at you, your face being illuminated by the little nightlight you had plugged in for Noelle.

“You are my love shine, my only love shine,” he sings lowly, surprising you that he even knows the third verse of the nursery rhyme, “I miss you so much when you’re away,” 

The smile that appeared on your face was one he’ll never forget, especially when you begin to harmonize with him quietly, watching the way Noelle snuggles into his chest as if she can’t get close enough to him. 

“You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you,” you two sing together, curling into him even more when he plants a kiss on the crown of your head.

“Please don’t take my love shine awaaaay,” 

Days had passed since that night. You and Noah alternate every couple of nights of whose place to stay at. He finally got the pleasure of meeting Ms. Ernie and Reid officially, offering his gratitude to the people who kept you and Noelle safe when he fell short. Despite his own shortcomings, they welcomed him with open arms. 

Reid currently had Noelle in the living room, both of them watching some cartoon movie while Ms. Ernie helped you with your hair, preparing for the night Noah had planned for you. 

“Do I look like I’m trying too hard?,” you turn to her, concern painted all over your face.

“You look like a beautiful youngin who is about to steal the heart of the love of their life,” 

“You flatter me,”

“Well it’s true,” she boops your nose and tucks your hair behind your ear, “You’re going to have fun!,” 

Noah wouldn’t exactly tell you what he had planned. He just said to dress in something comfortable and cute, so you stepped out of your comfort zone, going with a light floral dress, styling your hair to your comfort and a light face of makeup. 

When you heard the doorbell to your cabin go off, your stomach sank.

“Oh goodness!!,” turning to the smiling woman above you, “He’s here!! He’s 10 minutes early!,”

A light rumble comes from her, shaking her head and standing you up, “You would have still freaked out even if he showed up on time. Head up there!,”

You didn’t have time to respond due to the doorbell ringing again. A nervous Noah stood on the other side, worried that maybe you changed your mind. When the door swung open, both of you were speechless. 

You stood there, radiant as ever with Noelle in your arms. A nervous grin framed your teeth and Noah watched as you rubbed Noelle’s back, not for her comfort but for yours. You were antsy. Just as beautiful as the first day he met you when he knocked your bus token out of your hand.

Noah stood there in a plain, white shirt tucked into a pair of sleek black joggers. You noticed he cut his hair, cutting the sides short and keeping the top longer. He recreated the outfit he wore when you two first bumped into each other.

“Hi,” your throat tight around the simple word.

“H-hi,” he had a hand behind his back and stuck the other out, “Nice to meet you, my name is Noah,” 

You frown at his words until you realize this is a reintroduction.

“Hi, Noah. My name is Y/N and it’s wonderful to meet you,” 

Both of you are similar to giddy teenagers falling in love for the first time. He handed you a bouquet of your favorite flowers and you were quick to gasp. You loved flowers, you loved it even more when he gifted them to you.

Inviting him in, Noelle was quick to reach for him and he spun her around while you retrieved the glass milk bottle you received from Ms. Ernie to use as a vase.

“Looking gooooood!,” the elderly woman entered the room and pinched Noah’s cheek lightly.

“I can clean up nice!,” 

Reid entered the space and gave his compliments to the both of you and caught sight of the flowers, nudging Noah.

“Nice choice,” he whispered.

Once both of you give Noelle a ton of kisses, Noah takes your hand and guides you out to the car so you all could get your evening started.

“You gonna tell me what you have planned yet?,” hounding him as he begins to drive. 

“Dinner,” he answers, a smirk on his face to tell you that it wasn’t just dinner.

“Why so cryptic?” you poke him

“Relaaaaax,” he reaches over to grab your hand and squeeze. The two of you missing this simple gesture, feeling safe like this, like all will be okay, it will- but you’ll never get tired of the warm feeling of security. 

Noah took you out to your favorite restaurant, a nice night of expensive wine and taking bites of the other’s food. A bunch of blushing, a bunch of butterflies, laughter and unspoken I love yous. 

Now you find yourself with your hand in his, strolling downtown, him insisting that the night isn’t over. When you stop walking, you peer up to him and see an uncertain smirk on his face. Looking up to the sign on the building, you see what he had planned.

“Kiln of Sunshine,” you read aloud, “Couple’s pottery?”

All he does is laugh at your surprise and leads you inside. There aren’t many couples but it’s a nice intimate place. Dim lights strung up on the ceiling, custom printed aprons with your names on it, which he helps you put on and tie. 

When you’re directed to your designated spots, he sits behind you while you sit in front of the wheel.

“Welcome to the Kiln of Sunshine! We are a couple of potters who met through our love of art,” a young woman stands in front of the class, it’s hard to listen when Noah is so close like this. He still makes you so damn nervous.

“We created this abode to help other couples not only find a new hobby, but also grow together by means of communication and teamwork through making art!” The woman’s husband added with excitement. 

You look over your shoulder to see Noah already looking at you

“You look so beautiful,” he whispers. You have to tuck your chin into your shoulder to hide the fact your face was burning up at his compliment. 

The couple teaching gives you all step by step instructions to begin and then it’s just you and Noah left to your own devices. They gave you the guidelines but now it’s up to you and Noah to decide what you two create.

Much like a relationship. 

“Here, let’s try this,” Noah’s large, clay covered hands form to yours, his chin resting on your shoulder, “Pinch here,”

“Maybe we should coil instead,” suggesting lightly. 

“Okay, yeah,” he nods, taking in your point of view, “I think it’ll turn out better that way,”

Noah hands you the wet sponge, watching the way your tongue sticks out from your lips as you concentrate. 

“I brought us here because I came to a lot of conclusions during our time apart,” his body frames yours like a puzzle piece, after a while, instead of you taking the lead, you let his hands guide yours now.

“Yeah?,” 

“Pottery teaches us a lot about accepting faults- appreciating the imperfections and flaws that can turn into something beautiful,” he moves your hands to pinch the clay in certain spots and watch your piece come to life. 

“Furthermore, we have patience and persistence- pottery, like relationships, demands patience at every turn. To keep going in the face of difficulties, even if you don’t see the results right away. It takes time to mold something beautiful” 

Noah kept going and you’d be lying if his words weren’t tear jerking. While you two were rekindling, you had some introspective moments of your own. Realizing that there are some things you could have done differently yourself. Especially since finding out about the mental battles he was facing during the last few months of your relationship, which caused him to break it off.

You were so caught up in your own mind that you didn’t realize Noah’s actions were due to the fact that it wasn’t Noah- he pulled back from you because he was trying to figure his own labyrinthine mind out, that’s why he kept asking for time, he just felt ashamed to say it out loud. 

Both of you got time, even if it wasn’t in the most ideal form.

“I’m still learning and growing and I know I have a long way to go for you to fully trust me because of those faults, but I’m patient and I’m not going anywhere,” 

You felt him kiss your shoulder, causing goosebumps to flourish on your skin.

“Well… maybe we won’t need the water bowl to wet the sponge anymore since you’ve got me crying over here!,” 

The laughter that erupts from the two of you is boisterous, providing comedic relief in the midst of him expressing his emotions. 

“You two are doing great over here!!,” the instructor complimented the piece the two of you were crafting.

You felt the swell of pride in your chest because whether she was talking about your pottery piece or not, you and Noah are doing great.

The night progressed beautifully. You had to leave your piece at the place overnight so it could get fired and glazed before you took it home to decorate yourselves. So, Noah took you on a stroll, your hand in his, taking in the view of the pretty lights set up downtown. Finding yourselves in front of the big fountain in the center, you stick your hand out to him

“C’mon, big money. Hand over a quarter,” 

He quickly digs in his pocket and hands you a shiny coin in which you hold up to your mouth, whispering to it before throwing it in the fountain. The light plopping sound it made was satisfying to you.

“What did you wish for?,”

You notice him taking his shoes and socks off, rolling up his pant legs and you feel suspicion rising in your belly.

“That would beat the purpose of a wish!,” 

“Take your shoes off,” 

“No! I know what you’re about to do and I spent too much time on my hair and make up!,”

Noah sat you down on the edge of the fountain, removing your shoes for you

“You know that you don’t need your makeup and hair all done up for me to find you absolutely breathtaking… right?,” 

He gives you no time to reply before he’s standing you up and bringing you into the fountain, twirling you around under the raining streams. 

“Noah we’re gonna get in trouble!!,” squealing in his arms, trying to get out of them. He sets you down but before you can scold him, his wet hands are framing your face to pull you in for the long awaited kiss that he’s been wanting to give you since the day you left. 

You felt like you were in a movie. The hopeless romantic that lived within you was thriving. You were stuck in your spot for a second, realizing that since starting over, this is your first kiss and he made it so damn romantic. Pulling him in by his shirt, your lips follow his, flowing with the same desire and unspoken words.

I’m sorry.

I forgive you.

We’re going to be okay.

I don’t hate you

I love you.

I always will.

Damning your own instinctive need to breathe, you pull away from him, pressing your fingertips to your lips, still completely shocked by it all.

“I’m sorry I just… I couldn’t fight it anymore,” he looked so ethereal, wet hair sticking to his face, droplets on his cheeks and big, brown eyes staring back at you with blown pupils.

“Until the day we are returned to dust to the universe, I will love you and cherish you. I will be what I should have always been. And even then… even after we are just dust- I will find you in another timeline and continue to be that and more”

Life is a beautiful thing now. It was no longer grey and neither of you felt like you were just getting by, you were finally living. 

You didn’t want to give up your cabin, so despite all the memories the house back in the city had, you two decided to make more memories out here.

Your house was full now, filled with friends you missed dearly, all of them soaking up time with Noelle, getting used to being uncles. 

“Nuh uh!,” Noah shouts, “Folio, wash your hands before holding her,” 

“What the hell! I just did!!,” he defended, arms halfway out, ready to reach for his niece.

“Not long enough! Sing happy birthday twice if you have to- and don’t swear around my daughter!,” 

Noah fit the dad role real well. He was proud to be the father of your child. He doted on Noelle, always took pictures with her, sang to her (a lot better than you ever did) and though Noah had a love for the city, he loved being out here with you two, taking her on daily walks around the countryside while you tended to the chickens and garden. 

You thought he’d put up a bigger fight due to his career but- things were simple out here and being out here made him feel normal and domestic. This is what life was always supposed to feel like and it’s what the two of you had always envisioned. 

“Everyone get ready, dinner’s almost finished!,” Ms. Ernie hollered. She loved the guys, it didn't take long for her to warm up to people and just like she took you under her wing, she did the same for them. She even listens to their music now, she says Hedonist is her favorite. 

Folio doesn’t care to make his plate now that he has Noelle, making her squeal and laugh at his silly faces. 

Matt bumps you as he moves past you to get a drink out of your fridge, “I told you he wouldn’t take her from you,” 

“You only get one ‘I told you so’ in our friendship and you used it well. Thanks, Matty,” 

During the time you and Noah were reconnecting, you had to rebuild your friendships with the guys as well. You and Matt now have your farmer’s market dates back. You, Jolly, Davis and Folio have your bowling on Thursday nights while you and Bryan go to the movies every Tuesday because they’re half off. And Nicholas- the one who truly is like a brother, both of you had your chess game that you abandoned but he kept the board set in hopes that one day you’ll come back. 

He taught you how to play ages ago and when you finally got the hang of it, you two matched all the time, some matches going for days, this match being the longest ever due to a hiatus. 

He had the board with him, setting it up on the counter, both of you moving your pieces throughout the day.

“I know how to beat you,” staring at the board, he comes to stand beside you.

“Yeah?,” grinning as if he wasn’t about to lose.

“You have nowhere to go, Nicky,” you pick your Queen up, moving her to h5, threatening his f7. You watch him frown at your movements and you have to hide the smirk on your face. If you win, you’ll no longer be tied. 

You move your Queen to take his f7 and you check his king.

“No!,”

“Checkmate!,” clapping in victory, you jump up and down, “I still got it!!,”

“You got lucky!,” 

Despite him losing, he was always a good sport. He did teach you after all.

After dinner, Reid provided dessert, topped with a delicious honey glaze he made from his bees. Matt started a fire pit outside which left only you, Noah and Noelle in the kitchen as you two arranged to put her down for bed. He had her wrapped up against his chest while you prepared his coffee and your tea.

Noelle cooed against his chest, eyes fluttering and trying to fight sleep.

“I love you,” he searched your face, feeling blessed that he can say the words to you again. Your eyes sparkle in the warm light of the kitchen, feeling blessed to hear those words once again. You’ll never get tired of hearing it, especially because it’s all different now. It’s healthier, happier.

“And I love you,” of course you do- it was muscle memory. 

After lightly clinking your mugs together, your eyes catch sight of the fruit bowl you and Noah made in your pottery class. Your painted hand print on one side, his on the other and Noelle’s in the middle with 4 simple words written across it.

You are my Sunshine.

Stepping closer to him, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, the two of you stood in silence just enjoying each other’s presence. Finding joy in the laughter of your loved ones outside. 

All is well and always will be. Ms. Ernie was right. Sometimes second chances are worth it. 

“Thanks for adding to the sunshine instead of taking it away,”

Noah could hear the relief in your voice that things turned out for the better. He’d never give this up. Home isn’t a place, home is this moment right here and every moment after.

“Until we are dust returned to the universe.”

First and foremost i wanted to thank everyone for their patience while i worked on this!! this story means so much to me and i am grateful for the love i received on part one and hope you all enjoy this part even if it’s a little long!!!

Please be sure to reblog and comment as it helps us writers out a lot!!!

much love!

~Berry 🫐

tags: @dravenskye @babs-96 @tech-depression-inventory @magnificentstrawberryomen @mrscevans @tinyfairies @mxddymay @themorticians-world @rainy-darling @lma1986 @darknightstarryeyes @thisbicc @lilhobgobbler @lovethe-void @cind6547 @flowery-mess @widowsofchaos @abiomens @amelia-acero @collapsedglasshouses @poppy-in-the-woods @rostoken @dkxxm @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingintothegrey @blairboo

[lcriedlastnight]

Exes to lovers with Oscar: “what can i do? how can i fix this?”

idk how good i am at writing angsty stuff but here’s hoping i do you proud anon, lovely!

tw: fem!reader, not spell checked or proof read (cba bro it’s almost 4am), angsty (idk i tried), swears, lmk if you want to add anything else.

w/c: 2.3k

you hadn’t seen oscar in almost a month. the breakup was not the amicable, it was all oscar’s idea. not to play the name game or anything.

he was the one who ended things a month ago. your lives were just ‘too different’ right now and you were going in ‘different directions’. he was the one who had made sure he left no trace of himself in your apartment. he was the one you cried about when it got late and you felt lonely. most importantly, he was the one who acted like nothing had even happened.

people were commenting on your instagram posts and stories constantly asking where oscar was. it felt like getting kicked while you were already down. you stopped posting altogether after that.

it took you this whole month even be able to live your life again, before you were just existing. lando was the one to pull you up by your bootstraps and help you get your life back on track.

“i hate seeing you like this!” the brunette had begged you, a few weeks before, to go out clubbing with him and george.

“it’s just not my scene, lan. you know that. i’d rather just lay in bed all day and listen to the saddest songs on the tortured poets department.” you told him from somewhere between your messy bedsheets.

lando sighed and sat on the side of your bed. “c’mon! laying here crying about it will do nothing.” you knew he was right but it would do too much to his ego if you told him so, plus you also wanted to rot in this hurt for a little while longer.

“maybe next time.” you had offered. both of you knew you were lying.

the time came when lando finally made you face your problems head on, when he made you join him the monaco grand prix. with promises of not having to stay in a hotel and his company (you didn’t know if either of those things was something you wanted right now) the whole weekend, you eventually agreed. whether you agree just to shut him up or because you knew you would run into oscar… well it was a tie.

you lay tossing and turning in the guest room of lando’s, you couldn’t sleep for thinking about the man who has haunted your dreams for the past month and graced them for a year and a half before that. you decided to give up on getting sleep for now, turning onto your side you plan in your mind how you wanted the next day to play out. you were unsure if you should go for making him jealous of making him feel bad for you, eye bags and depression written all over your face or dolled up to the nines. in the end you decided on making him jealous. what good would looking gross at one of the most high profile races of the year - in front of your ex, no less - do you? you eventually fall asleep planning your outfits in your head.

the next morning you woke up with plenty of time to get ready, giving yourself plenty of time to get ready. lando, being your best friend, had the privilege of getting up at the arse crack of dawn, just as the light started to shine through his curtains, to ‘get ready with you’ as you had put it. he would put it as ‘you getting ready and him watching until you were almost done, then getting ready himself’. same thing basically.

“put that one taylor swift song on i know.” lando asks from his bed as you sit in front of his floor length mirror. you make eye contact from the floor.

“which one is that? she has like a million?” you question, you obviously being in charge of the music. lando groans as he turns onto his front, his groan becoming muffled by the bedsheets. you roll your eyes at his dramatics.

“i’m just gonna put folklore on then.” you tell him, picking up your phone from beside you where it was currently charging. lando near enough leaps from the bed at your words.

“no! that album is depressing! that’s not today’s vibe!” his hands reaching for your phone.

“what is the vibe for today then?” you ask, going back to blending out your light eyeshadow.

you can sense what lando is going to say before it even comes out of his mouth. “reputation.”

the start of ‘this is why we can’t have nice things’ plays through the speakers your phone is connected to in his room. you really try to hold off from telling him that reputation has more love songs on it than he thinks but you can’t help yourself. lando is surprised at the news and asks what album has the most repuatuation vibes.

you sigh. “i made a playlist. just play that.”

once you had finished your makeup, lando starts to get ready as you fish out the outfit you had planned out in your head last night out of your bag. you knew it had to be good, seeing as this was the first time in a month that oscar will see you.

a month wasn’t really that long, you both had been apart longer when you couldn’t make it to races and he had shit to do in training, but this separation was different. it was permanent and because of that it felt like years since you had seen oscar. double that, the last time you spoke to him.

“y’ready then?” lando asks, grabbing his car keys. you follow behind, your sundress swaying with the movements of your legs as you grab your clutch bag, filled with random items you knew you probably were never going to touch for the rest of the day. you nod, slipping on your heels and head to the car, right behind lando.

arriving at the paddock didn’t feel as weird as you thought it would. the flashes from the cameras almost blind you both as you walk in together. most reporters asking if you had cheated on oscar with the tanned brit.

as usual you ignore them and strut harbouring a false sense of confidence as you walk side by side with lando.

you stick to lando’s side of the garage during qualifying. some of oscar’s engineers notice you and give you a wave, not wanting to be rude you wave back. you watch q3 nervously, a part of you- way deep in the back of your brain - wishes for oscar to well and it’s looking like he could even get pole for the first ever time in a proper f1 race. his qualifying last grand prix weekend had really impressed you (not that you were watching him or anything. you were only watching to support lando) but had also made you think that oscar had made the right decision with your breakup.

as you watch on during the final few minutes of q3 you feel a camera pan on your face from the corner of you eye. you pretend not to notice, scared incase on the screen it still calls you oscar’s partner. not that you would know, but if you forget about the camera then you’ll most likely forget about it all as a whole.

lando qualifies fourth. oscar second. a great weekend for mclaren. a podium basically already in the bag for the, usually, papaya team. as both cars make their way back to the garage, you stand off to the side, waiting on lando.

the boy in the fluorescent helmet jumps out of the car and almost sprints to the opposite end of the garage, to oscar’s side, eager to congratulate him. you watch as the boy takes off his helmet and balaclava to wrap the australian up in a friendly hug. the latter not even getting the chance to take his own helmet or balaclava off before the arms of his friend wrap around him.

you just watch from afar, wanting so badly to be the one feeding oscar words of praise and excitement about the race tomorrow. you see them both converse as you try to act like your not staring, suddenly remembering the cameras lingering around. lando finally peels himself away and makes his way back to you. oscar’s eyes follow him to you. you don’t know if he’s surprised to see you or not. not like you even care anyways.

“well done lan!” you cheer, maybe a bit too loud than normal. your arms wrapping around his fireproofs in a tight hug, copying his own actions to his teammate minutes before. you hoped oscar was watching on.

“thanks bro!” lando laughs in your ear, happily as his results were improving every race. you also laugh at his choice of words.

“bro?” you ask through a giggle. the giggle drawing the attention of oscar again, who had tried to forget about your presence but felt like he was getting harshly reminded of the grave mistake he had made.

“you’re my bro” is all the explanation he gives. it’s not like he’s lying to be fair, you were his bro. he lets go of his hold on you then talks about his plans for tomorrow night.

“is it not a bit too early to be thinking about tomorrow after the race already?” you ask him, as if you’re not used to this at the end of every saturday.

“i should be at the club” he shrugs as he drags you to his race room. directly next to oscar’s. you know this hallway like the back of your hand.

you hear oscar’s footsteps behind you and lando as he tells you every thought he had during the flying laps. you trying so hard to listen but all you can think about it how much you want to turn around to oscar and bag him to take you back. but you’re not doing that. that would, well that would just be a new low for you.

“i just knew osc would be quick, didn’t think he would be quicker than me. he’ll probably be on the podium tomorrow.” lando comments, offhandedly. both your’s and oscar’s ears prick up at the mention of oscar’s name.

oscar strains his ears as you stop just in front of lando’s door. he tries to keep a safe distance, not wanting to alert you both of him.

“yeah?” is all you say. lando snorts.

“you could at least act like you care.” lando says as he opens the door to let you both in. that’s when you both hear the heavy, quick footsteps of oscar rushing to you before you enter lando’s driver room.

“hey-uh can i talk to you?” oscar directs to you, eyes not even trying to shift in lando’s direction. you hesitate. why was he acting like he hasn’t just broken up with you.

“please?” oscar practically begs. lando gives you an encouraging nudge before disappearing into his room, leaving you no choice but to stand in the hallway with oscar.

it’s quiet before you speak up, words a little uneasy and shaky. “what could you possibly have to say to me?” you question him.

“please don’t be like this. i can’t do it.” oscar’s voice is weak and almost pathetic. you scoff at his words.

“you’re being serious? where was this when you broke up with me?” you seethe, feeling your anger build. oscar looks hurt but you see a glint of something you can’t decipher in his eye and it makes you miss him even more, you can’t stand this.

“what can i do? how can i fix this? fix us?” oscar looks down at you with wide eyes. you swear they look glassy, like if he blinks too hard tears he’s so clearly fighting will slide down his cheeks.

“fix us?” you ask, confused. “you want to fix this?”.

oscar nods eagerly, gathering your hands in his and pressing them against his chest. “i can’t bare this without you. i’m so stupid for thinking that breaking up was the right thing to do. i miss you in everything i do. all i could think about out there was if you were still mines how i could go celebrate this with you. i don’t know if i remember how to live without you, baby.”

you only stare at him. your face betraying you by showing oscar every little feeling that flashes through your mind.

“it’s been like this since miami. you should’ve been there. i’m sorry. i’ve ruined this for you. and i know this is me being selfish but i need you to come back to me.” the grip oscar has on your hands get a little tighter as he begs you to forgive him.

you feel your bottom lip wobble a little before you pull your lips in a tight line to pull yourself together. “i miss you too. but you hurt me.” you say, cautious and wary.

oscar makes this pained noise like he’s been winded as your words hit him. “i know and i’m so fucking sorry. what can i do to make it up to you? i’ll do anything i swear.” oscar was clearly not above begging for you to his again.

you think for a second, eyes avoiding his and instead looking down at the floor. seeing as oscar can read you like a book he knows what’s coming next. you’re gonna reject him in a way he knows only you could and cry too, because you will feel bad, you’ll feel bad for the monster who broke your heart. how could he even think he would have a chance at getting you back?

you surprise him by speaking up softly. “maybe a trial date?” you suggest. oscar’s head nearly falls off from how quickly he nods. never agreeing to something so quickly before in his life. he’s going to make this the best date you’ve ever been on in your life.

[sl33paholics]

Passion's Palette

Akira Fudo x succubus!black!F!reader

Warning(s): smut, smut, smut, idk what else to add here, monster fucking, nipple play, bros about to explode

"Shitttt mannn...!!!"

You let out a slurty giggle as you watched your boyfriend dig his large nails into your hips, having you slide down his thighs as you released some weight from his pelvis by leaning back and supporting yourself on his thighs as well, you felt the muscles under his skin twitch in response to your movement.

Feeling the guy aggressively buck his hips up, drilling your soaked pussy open with his hard cock made you even more wetter than before, making the hot sticky sensation feel even better. Akira's sloppy and erratic movements made his cock spring out of your tight hole like it was on its own accord, now twitching between your ass cheeks. You had to bite your lip to hold back another round of giggles that threatened to escape from your mouth as Akira was salivating pretty hard.

Akira wasn't here. Well, he was, but he wasn't here mentally. Too pussy drunk and consumed by lust to give you any sort of thought or attention whatsoever. As if you used your poeers to finally give you some dick, which, of course you did. Akira's mind was focused solely on fucking you senseless for hours without stopping, which meant that his dick was fully engorged, making him push it back inside of your hot pussy while you rode him. It was pretty fucking hot, you couldn't lie.

You fluttered your (e/c) eyes shut at his movements and moaned as he pressed his thumb down harder on your swollen clit, the friction between your two bodies burning hotter than anything else could, you felt so damn good and you wanted nothing more then to cum just from the way he was fucking you.

"Come....ngh...here..." Your boyfriend slurred, you leaned in feeling your chests touch each other your lips touched his, kissing you roughly. You felt him lick at your tongue while sucking on yours, you moaned again when he sucked at your top lip, Akira moved the tip of his tongue out to taste you as your mouth separated from one another. "Ssshhh...so good," He whispered against your lips. "So fuckin good..!" You mumbled, your voice thick with lust. Akira's lips trailed kisses down your neck, leaving wet red love bites in their wake and leaving you breathless.

You continued to ride him like crazy , moaning and letting out whimpers of pleasure and excitement. You heard his groan of approval mixed with your own muffled gasps. The sound only spurred you on more. You grinded your pelvis against him in a steady rhythm, getting yourself closer to release. The feeling of his hands on your lower thighs, digging his fingers into you slowly, caused you to squirm, your hips jerking to get more friction. It was going to happen soon. You were already close to the edge, and you could feel it in the air.

"You ready for this big ass nut?" Akira asked huskily. You heard his tone of voice turn cocky almost immediately, your eyes shot open, looking at him with a heated gaze. You nodded vigorously. "Fuck yeah I am! Make me cum...!!" You screamed, Akira's face broke out into a wide grin and he gave your hips one last thrust.

Akira woke up in cold sweat. He breathed heavily through his mouth, his heart pounding wildly against his rib cage. He ran his hand through his hair, staring down at his naked form. His sheets were drenched in sweat, and a sticky substance fell onto his hand. Looking up, he was in disbelief. Akira painted his ceiling.

It didn't help that he heard the door knob rattle, and he froze, with you walking in the room. "Oh, you're awake now." You said, seeing your boyfriend sitting in bed with a flushed face, sweat dripping around his body, his tanned skin glistening under the bright morning light coming from your window. A confused look plastered your face before looking up and seeing the huge mess. "What the FUCK is that?!" You screeched.

Akira blinked. He honestly didn't know what to say. "Uh..uh..I..." He stammered.

You began going on and on and on, Akira couldn't be bothered to listen to your rants about what he just did to his ceiling. He plopped his head back on the pillow, letting out a huge sigh. "God damnit..." He was so fucked.

[discoveredreality]

intro post <3

don't mind me editing this like every single day lol

my dm's and askbox is always open if u want to talk <3

anons are welcome too <3

also if u want to make new friends i am right here pls say hi im fucking lonely😭

anyways

BELOVED MOOTS <33333 (everyone is tagging them and this is fun)

this in no particular order just whoever pops up on my dash or smth idk. not every moots just the ones i actually know lol. ok so

@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon THEY'RE AMAZING LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF BECAUSE OMG KJHLGJKFJHLKYFJHKJGL

@ma-lan13 HELP MY BESTIE IRL GOT TUMBLR OMG OMG. AND SHES ACTUALLY USING IT WTF?????? ANYWAYS SHES THE BEST <333

@bloophasarrived SHE'S THE SWEETEST AND SO WONDERFUL. HER PERSONALITY SPARKLES AND OMG SHE'S SO FUN AHHH

@marylily-my-beloved I LOVE HERRR WE HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS. SO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW ME SO WELL <3333

@im-just-here4853 my vent buddy omg we just vent to each other i love her so much idk what i would do without her <33

@im-on-crack-send-help TWINNING IN LITERALLY EVERYTHING. SAME MUSIC TASTE. SAME TASTE IN FOOD. IN DRINKS. IN THE WAY WE THINK. WTF. ANYWAYS SHE'S MY POOKIE I LOVE HER <333

@the-gay-skeleton-in-ur-closet THEY'RE THE BEST OMGGGGG and they're nice and cool and shit <333333 i'm quoting myself it's fine AND LIKE SO NICE AND GOOFY AND EVERYTHING OMG

@cubemagnet somene i met on a random post and now we occasionally team up to correct grammar lol 🤓🤓🤓 anyways she's amazing :D and everything she says is so iconic like isjflsrijglruhglsuglijrsg

@book-girl4eva SHE'S AMAZINGGGGG. IT'S SO EASY TO GOOF AROUND W HER I LOVE IT. SHE ALWAYS SLAYS SO HARD. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SLAYS. idk if you'll see this but this is for u pookie <3

@mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am ??? questioning why we're moots. but he's literally so nice. literally will be my therapist and help me w maths because that shit is impossible 😭

@dandelionflowery omg literally so kind and everything all the time. so fun fun reading their fics and doing shit together omg

@sweetwarmcookies16 OMG RIJGDJFGIJFGIF THE BEST I LOVE PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER AND TALKING AND EVERYTHING. ALSO AN AMAZING WRITER

idk brain isnt braining ill add ppl as i go along

moodboards made by my lovely lovely moots <3

so far i only have one here cause i forgot to link the previous ones whoops 😭😭😭

about me

i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. minor. literally the biggest procrastinator and so disorganised i dare u to find someone worse than me. i'm indian but i live in australia. bengali/north indian idk. band kid :D my pinterest is here. PLEASE DM ME IF U WANT TO. I NEED FRIENDS. IM AWKWARD AND BAD AT MAKING CONVERSATION BUT STILL PLS 😭😭😭

personality/star sign or whatever

according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(

time zone

Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think?? SUCK ON THAT AMERICANS AND WHOEVER ELSE EHHEHEHHEHE ;LSDJFSFJIJFDJF;LJ

my music taste

i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter and honestly a lot of other stuff lol. also love bollywood music.

favourite books and authors

i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the inheritance games, agggtm, literally all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, pjo and hoo, lorien legacies, the selection, powerless, soc, girl in pieces, dictionary of lost words and bookbinder of jericho, all the books by amish, and a bunch of other books.

dni

idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf

tag games and shit

yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol

tags

i don't post that much stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?

fandoms!

i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i love love love hermitcraft. i'm an ethogirl literally who doesn't love etho?? also really into trafficblr. i literally love six of crows so much like omg. desperately trying to get through the magnus archives im only 8 years late haha i also love kotlc sm. (team foster-keefe forever!) i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen cause omg. aaaand also a bunch of other shit but those are the main ones idk bro

i'm bored and this is too long already might as well add more so here are a bunch of userboxes :D

and that's all not because i have self control but because there is a limit to images per post 😭😭😭 i literally had to delete some of my aesthetic images for this soooo

all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.

my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here

the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good

IK THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND I KEEP ON ADDING SHIT MORE SHIT SO IF U ACTUALLY LIKE READ TO THE BOTTOM THIS HERE IS FOR U LMFAO ILYSM <333333

[herejusttosufferalong]

Hey, I am new to ur blog and totally love it!! Definitely my fav one on here & thank u for putting out ur perspective!

So, idk if this has been discussed here before (been here only for the past 2 days.. will deep dive into it🫡) but just wanted get some things off my chest as this blog seems to be a safe place to voice it out.

1. In one of their recent ivs with Kiss fm when asked about how to get out of the friendzone, he agrees to some extent with Nic, but when the interviewer said "just do a me & stay there", L was immediately jumped in to agree and looked visibly nervous, clearing his throat - this solidifies my opinion that he has feelings for her is and is afraid to confront them.

2. I may be reaching with this one, but I think the cast also knows what's up with them? Like Claudia keeps referring to herself as 3rd wheel, Johnny giving a teasing smile to LN when he talks about N and Luke T glancing at them while saying "fear of falling in love" & "oh, personal advice" when LN talked about insecurities.

3. Not to forget in the friendzone or love iv, she raises her brows & hits him with the paddle as of calling him out for sending "mixed message". Also, when she says "don't call me bro, pal or dude if u kiss me" seems to be directed at him. This is the only interview I couldn't get through cause the tension between them was seeping through the screen.

They definitely seem to have some kind of attraction towards each other but holding off for some reason (in some of the interviews they did prior to the promo tour, the ones they did indoors, he keeps giving her googly eyes & scanning her face with his eyes with a smirk & he wasn't like that with claudia. You can see N doing the same to him on some instances). My guess is that N has her guard up as she said she is cynical about love and probably decided to stay friends with him as it could affect their work life (but the maks slips off time and again). I believe that they caught feelings while filming s3 and it might've surprised both of them (remember, his break up with Jade also happened around the same time, she started dating someone else right after breakup so I cant help but notice how the timeline overlaps). He had just then got out of a LT relationship & probably they didn't want to act on his feelings. I am assuming all their bottled up emotions came out with full force once they reached the end of the promo.

From what I understand, they seem to be having an on/off relationship in terms of their feelings, very much like the ross & rachel dynamic he so often keeps mentioning (he said that Polin never get the timing right which is kinda untrue considering once C realised his love he got P, he seems to be talking about Nic & himself). I think the lines were really blurred & at this moment both of them are confused as to what/how they feel.

Now coming to him dating A, I think for him he believes dating A is safer cause he isn't going to lose anything there but with N if it doesnt work out he is going lose their friendship (like it happened with J for him). He really is like Colin & in L's own words, I hope he "gets some vision" & sees "what is right infront of him". For me, it looks he is probably lost right now & acting out cause he doesnt how to deal with his feelings for N.

Apologies for making it so long, I hope u find time to read it, but i had to get it out of my system cause its getting really tiresome to see people calling them disingenuous & questioning their friendship/love they have for each other & labelling it as PR/fake when in reality their dynamic seems too complicated.

First off, thank you and I really appreciate it!

Secondly, thank you for sharing, I pretty much agree with everything you said.

The only point I will add is in Brazil N mentioned that she used to be more cynical about love but that it was changing. Which was apparently a conversation that her and L had.

Then in the KISS interview she said that she loves love.

This is quite the progression. I'm interested to know what caused this change and why now? I have my suspicions...

[ziminy]

Nightshift pt. 1

Having them as roommates was a problem

Tags: mdni, college au, f!reader , explicit language, a little bit of misunderstandings here and there for the plot, everyone is pretty dumb, inexperienced!reader, size difference, they toy with you the way they want, fingering, thigh fucking, both Geto and Gojo are playboys (cuz I want so) , idk I'll add it later if I missed something

Author's note: bro, I started writing this thinking it would be a small ff. I was giggling and kicking my feet and then I woke up 10k words in and I was like, nahh, gotta make this into a series. So enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it😘

Update: I re wrote this a little, just made some small changes here and there.

6k words(I thought there were more)

Masterlist part 2

Gojo Satoru had all kind of connections. He basically knew everyone in the campus at this point, the campus you shared and many others. And who could blame him? People liked him. It wouldn't be surprising if someone goes at him for anything. That's how he wakes up in someone else business most of the time, it all starts with a small favor, and then he finds out its not that small as he thought it would be. And yet he still does it again and again. He's an idiot, isn't he?

Who could blame him. No one was in their right minds anymore these days. But an idiot will always remain an idiot. And so, he woke up helping someone again. A friend you happen to have in common came to him, asking if he knows any place available to stay at. And the idiot went around asking about it, only to find up things about you. Like what kind of person you are, how people viewed you, how you got in the situation of moving out. You were a quiet person, or that's what some people said. Other said how it was so fun to have you around. You were non problematic, or hat's how he liked to see it. You were a peaceful person who just happened to be in an unfortunate situation.

He would usually say no, but he met you in person. You looked tired, and small compared to him, you looked like you bearly got any sleep these days. He lives in a big house, doesn't he? It's not like he needs new people in there, the quietness was enough for him. He also clearly don't need any money from you especially. If you can't afford sleep, would you be able to afford a place to stay in?

And somehow you woke up moving into his house. After a lot of talking about it with him, just making sure you heard what you heard right you finally made a decision. Sure, he doesn't seems bad, so why not accepting.

Everything was so peaceful at first. He said he won't be there most of the times. Him and the unexpected housemate you found there were out almost all day. And when they were back everyone seems to be so careful around each other. No one makes fast moves and it seems that you adapted to that life there rather quick. Everything was like a dream, or that what it seemed like. Until you heard a rather nasty rumor about your so called housemates. Animals in heat, that's how you can call them without saying a bad word.

You can't see it. You just can't see it. Your roommates were two regular guys. Sure, one was ridiculously rich, but he was fine. Maybe a little childish. And the other guy was just so down on earth. That guy was softer than your damn pillow. The way he talks was definitely telling you that the rumors are fake. Defamation. This got to be defamation. I mean, no matter how much you think about it you can't see these guys as some fuckers who are.. Well.. Doing what the name says. Fucks.

But you couldn't help but listen to those false allegations. The nights they weren't home they were supposed to be partying somewhere until they leave with a girl. You never saw anyone bringing anything home. So where were they? Do they like spending times in hotels instead of their own house? And that's when you find out they almost never brings girls home because they go to ladies houses.

Everything you heard was true. It's an unwritten rule that they don't like to see strangers on their beds. So that means they spend the night there? No, they always come back no matter what. Fooling in someone else bed was alright, but staying the night was a no no. All those rumors made you think. What was so special about them? And so, you started to observe them whenever you could. It was like an small experiment in your head, it meant literally nothing more. It made you think about the situation. Were they really not as you see it?

Without even realizing you got out the room at the same time they were at home. When they were in the kitchen, you happen to be there, nothing happened that just a few words exchanged , small talk. However, it was bothering them.

They really don't understand why you're looking like that at them. No, they're actually full aware of the look in your eyes. It's was something they saw so many times, yet it was more. It wasn't just horniness, it wasn't that lust they're so familiar with. It was curiosity. You don't even have to say a word because it was clearly written on your face. Yet they don't want to admit that it was just something innocent. Both of them agreed mentally that you want them. It wasn't sure which one but it was clearly you wanted something from one of them. They were the horny ones. Your eyes studying them so openly, no thoughts behind it, no shame. They were indeed animals in heat, because they just couldn't keep it to themselves. And just like always, they were willing to give you whatever you want. That if you finally say something, do a move yourself. Not just looking and that's it.

"Y/N." you moved your eyes on who ever was calling your name, none other than your landlord. "Did something happened?" to him it seemed like you had something to say but you were to shy to say it. He was more than happy to give you a little push, help you to finally say something.

"Mno..?" he gulped, you looked right into his eyes. The looks you kept giving earlier wasn't helping either. He only heard stuff about how you were shy and you didn't go much out. Your friends don't even remember the last time you went on a date, that if you ever went on a date. "Ohh." you're reaction made both of them move their eyes straight on you. You finally was going to say it? "I apologize." you laughed. "I heard something and I wanted to see it myself." you had a sweet smile on you face, it really didn't look like you were undressing them in your mind. You were curious. And if you have the answers right in front of you, wouldn't you want to know what is actually happening?

"Rumors?" the dark haired guy sat down at the table you were sitting with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Mhhmm." you nodded.

"Are you that interested in what other people say?" you shook your head.

"Not at all." you got up from your chair. "Sorry for making you concerned." and so, you went to your room. You can't figure out what's in their head, and they can't figure what's in yours. There were a lot of rumors about them, most of them being true, but you could never know. You haven't heard anything about your name yet, so maybe people don't even know you live there to begin with. Which is good. The last thing you want is someone disturbing your peace.

What you should have put in calculation was the two demons outside your door. Gojo only let you stay because he was interested in you, the other guy just started to feel a little curious. When they tried to show that they know you're watching, you did nothing more than continue to watch them further. You would look them right in the eyes like you did nothing shameless. And the answer you gave them was so vague that they're now asking for more. It's not like they disliked you there next to them, just looking at them and doing nothing more. It's that it made their imagination go wild.

You bearly went out if it wasn't for school. And up until not so long ago you wouldn't even get out the room when they were home. It was so quiet in there that they forgot about you. That until you got in that kitchen, you're steps were so carefully placed on the floor, the way you would walk around the table and sit at a spot they would have never guessed it was yours in the first place. It became like a routine to see you there in the morning, since that was the time of the day where they would be at home. Oh, but now you stopped. When they're awake you're sleeping safe and sound. Maybe they should have let you do your thing. Of course they would have answered whatever question you might had, but what they don't know is the thoughts you were thinking of. The way you would just smile like you didn't thought about what the hell they were doing when they were out.

You were just curious. And you're happy they finally said something, so that way you could stop looking for whatever you were looking. They're not happy tho. It's been a week since they didn't seen you even breathing around them. Everyone was tired. That's why they started coming home earlier. Which turned into an unfortunate event.

Stressed, everyone was stressed. And you became even stressed when you woke up in the middle of the night hearing noises. Was someone in pain? Did someone needed help? Then you woke up and realizing what is actually happening. The sounds you heard weren't from pain, they were moans, and bed moving. They weren't your moans, they didn't sounded like male moans. It was definitely a woman. You sighed as you went back to sleep, ready to complain about it tomorrow to your housemates.

You were so eager to complain about what happened. The moment you got in the kitchen you sat down next to the dark haired guy. "Suguru, have you heard that last night?" you sighed, yet you were thrilled to continue complaining. "Honestly, can't the neighbors chill?" you wanted to hear him agreeing with you, yet he didn't.

"It wasn't the neighbors." huh? Now you were confused.

"What do you mean?" you both looked at the person who just entered the kitchen. You looked at the guy next to you with big eyes when you realized what actually happened, you stood there bamboozled. He only nodded, like he could read you mind. He knew exactly what you were thinking of. "No way.." a hand was placed over your mouth to show how shocked you were. "I'm sorry! I didn't know!" you exclaimed as you ran from there to your room. So those rumors were true? But you could have never guessed. I mean, weren't they in some kind of mafia or something? Why else would they be out all the times if they weren't working? But didn't people said they don't get girls home? Then was that his girlfriend? What about all those shameful things you thought of? You have to apologize to his girl.

The next morning you got out your room and shyly went into the kitchen. Moving carefully and biting your lower lip, you sat down next to your landlord at the big table that was placed in the kitchen. You looked at him, then at your hands while you kept playing with your fingers. The other guy looked amused. He could only guess why you're acting like that, but he probably knows exactly what you wanted to say. The white haired guy keep moving his eyes from his phone to you. Was this a deja vu? Or perhaps not. This feels like it happened before yet so different at the same time. You looked only at him, you sat next to him, and the other guy seems to find it funny. Clearly, something happened that he's not aware of. He's a little angry now. How can he be left out? Especially when you don't even do much besides coming into the kitchen for a few minutes then run away from there. "Something happened?" this was definitely a deja vu. The same thing, same words, yet it felt so different.

"I'm sorry.." so something did happened? What could be so bad that you got to act like this? You weren't in this situation when you got caught for staring at them shamefully.

"Huh?"

"I know it wasn't my business.. I should have probably shut up.. But please listen to me first." the guy that was sitting not so far from you was laughing his ass off. This was pure gold, comedy in its purest form. He couldn't stop you even if he wanted to. After all, you had to find things out yourself, and he didn't plan to give you any information. "I really didn't know. I wouldn't had said anything if I knew she was your girlfriend." now that was a twist that made even the hyena stop laughing. Now everyone was interested in what happened.

"What do you mean by my girlfriend?" your landlord was mad that someone is out there pretending to be his girlfriend. He might change girlfriends frequently, but at the moment he was single. So who would dare to present themselves as his girl?

"I heard that you don't get girls home unless it's someone important." never in their life have they bought someone home since you moved in there.

"I didn't bring anyone in here?" everyone was confused. No one didn't know what to say.

"The other day you came back with someone, right? I just wanted to apologize because I didn't know it was you. I thought it was the neighbors." the dark haired guy started to laugh again, this time not even trying to hide it. You got up from you seat and went to the door as fast as you could. "Anyway, I'm sorry. I just want it to say it in case of anything." and so, you disappeared from their eyes once again. Whatever you heard about them it was clearly bullshit in their eyes. You need to stop listening to whatever people had to say, they could answer to whatever question you had. Yet you never ask for anything.

A game of cats and mouse started. It was clearly who were the evil minds that came with the plan and who was the clueless victim. One day when you were at school, they happen to be there to switch everything in the house. Whatever you thought you knew was, now was in a complete another place. It was pitiful to watch them work so eagerly on this. It was hard to watch them being idiots, yet not even a second they stopped to think about it. All they had to do now was for you to come back.

It took you two days to finally see that something is wrong. In these two days they almost died of impatience because of how slow you were. Yet look at you, refusing to give up. You searched everywhere in the kitchen cabinets for whatever you were looking for, only to see with the corner of your eye that it was placed somewhere were you clearly couldn't reach at. You took a chair and tried to get it yourself. You don't need help from those fuckers after all. Why would you need it when they made your life so complicated.

"Need help?" the knight in shining armor was too late unfortunately, yet that didn't stopped Gojo from doing something.

"Not at all." he came next to you, took whatever was in your hands and put it back up, just to take it and handle it to you.

"Here you go." you sighed. But your misfortune continue to grow when the other idiot came in.

"You're stuck there? Is it too high for you?" the dark haired guy tone was like it was making fun of you. He picked you up and put you down. "There there, no need to thank me." all you did was to sigh.

"I don't need this anymore. Can you put it back?" you handed whatever you had in your hands back to them.

"You got the wrong thing? This happens if you try to reach high places alone." the moment they turned their heads away from you was the way you disappeared from there. Oh, but it was hell the next few days. Nothing was in their right places and it turned you crazy. You gave up. If that's what they wanted to hear then they win. Just like always, you finally showed up in that kitchen. You sat at another chair, choosing a different one from your usual one. Head and hands on the table as you waited for them to appear there. You were about to call it defeat when you fell asleep. It was morning after all, at this time you would usually sleep. Heck, even the bed under you was sleeping. If you were pulling out the white flag, now they were the ones doing it. Seeing you there once again made them realize their mistake.

They apologized ,not to you physically but mentally. You did nothing more than just being curious. Who wouldn't be? Some rich guy let you stay in his house when you needed a place to stay. He didn't ask for anything, the rent was even lowered to half the price it was to the previous place you lived at. And even after all those rumors you heard, you didn't had to see any of their dates inside the house. It was nice living there, they tried to make an effort somehow to not disturb you. And so you did to them. But maybe they didn't thought about it in the end. Sure, it was childish, but wouldn't you do the same if you were in their shoes? Just like you, they have questions. They also want answers. Their methods might be a little out of pocket, but try to think the way they do. They're too proud, you'll never see them asking for anything. They'll make you ask for it and then act nonchalant about it. Can't you see they're just some big fucks? They're fuckers and they're proud. They're literally dickheads.

The strategy changed. They'll get you out that room in other ways. That's when you started to wake up with all kind of food and sweets. They'll get home and the first thing to do is to go to your room to announce what they got. It made you instantly get out the bed and follow them. They played dirty all the time. They did it in such a way that when you hear the front door you instantly get out the bed and sprint to who ever came back. Big smile on your face and knowing absolutely nothing about whatever scheme they might plan next.

"I didn't got anything today." Suguru's words made you lose your smile instantly. "Satoru might come with something tho." and that made your smile to come back.

"Can I stay with you until he comes back?" his smile seems so innocent. It made him look innocent. That old fox isn't playing according to the books. No, in fact he'll get off the main path just to get to what he wants faster. He knew exactly that your so called landlord wouldn't come back home tonight. Yet he's not going to say shit.

"Of course." and so, you ended up with him on the big couch that was in the living room, watching some movie that was playing on some random channel on tv. It would be such a big lie if he says whatever he was after was just friendship. Is he trying hard? Maybe. But he wants to look like you're the one worked up about it. He wants to look like he just happened to be there and that's it. And oh man he got what he want. By the end of that movie you two ended up in your room. His hands moved so fast to get your clothes off the moment that door was closed. The big windows gave so much light that he could see very clearly where your bed was at.

"Suguru.." you whined his name so sweet and softly. It took all the control he haves to not jump on you in that exact moment, not like he wasn't all over you. If he knew that he could have got to this point sooner from a movie and some takeaways he would have got through this a long time ago. You sat at the edge of the bed, looking at him taking his clothes off and then he jumped back on you.

"Have you done this before?" he was placed in between your legs ,one of his hands placed on your thigh as the other was on the bed right next to you keeping him from not putting all his weight on you. You nodded your head slowly.

"But it's been a while so be gentle with me." animal in heat describes him the best. It looked like a big bad wolf was on top of its prey. If you still can walk tomorrow then that means he did a bad job. But your sweet words made him realize that's too soon. How can he get in your bed again if he scares you now?

"Alright." the hand he had on your thigh moved in between your legs. You were so wet after that little make out session you had on the couch. It should be a crime to leave you alone when you clearly need his help. He's only playing the bigger person so he won't fuck everything right now, so let him believe in his delusions.

Two of his fingers were inside you, moving them in and out of you for a few moments just to see how far he can go. And then he started to curl them, making you instantly squirm. Did the other guy you fucked not do a good job? Maybe that's why you had almost non existent experience in this. Maybe you were left disappointed. Well, aren't you lucky? He likes to hear only good reviews about himself. Oh, but he hopes you heard about his services. If you're so interested in what other people says then you should definitely listen to the people that ended in the same bed as him. "I know you like it, but stop moving so much." he stopped his hand movement for a moment to let you breathe. He's lying. He likes the way you're squirming and trembling at everything he does.

"You're so mean." you whined. If that was mean then he doesn't know how to call whatever he's usually doing. He likes it rough. He likes to see tears in the eyes of who ever he's fucking. He likes to relieve his stress in questionable ways.

"Am I?" he had this diabolical smirk on his face. Evil was too little to say. He looked like he let his demons out of leash. His face got closer to yours, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as he started to move his hand again. He'd go as deep as he can, discovering all kind of places, touching you here and there just to see you melt. "Come on, look at me, don't close your eyes." he'll rub your clit for time to time, just to remind you about it. It was mostly to see your expressions, and to remind you how mean he can be. If you said he is then he is, no? This was him just being the fucker he is. Toying with you just to show you how he can make you feel. And to remind you that if he gives, then he also can take away all these new overwhelming feelings. Beg for him. That's what he wants to hear from you after all. Cries and begs.

And you were falling all for it. The way you would cry his name was like good news to his ears, a melody that's he's so happy to hear. His fingers are always making sure to touch all the good places. But at some point it was too much, you felt like you were going over the edge, your vision completely disappearing when you came all over his hand. And he still kept toying with you. "Please-" you gasped. "No more.." you were so dumb for him that he couldn't help but want to over stimulate you, play with you until you're begging for more.

"You can take it, can't you?" it was an obvious no from you. It was the first time you felt this overwhelming, you clearly needed a break to calm down.

"Kiss me." you wanted to feel more than just his evil scheme. A kiss would go so good after that torture. But he stopped the moment you said those words. He just wanted to show you whos in charge of this, because he clearly didn't liked how comfortable you got with him. You didn't seemed to look mad at him for not fulfill your request, no, in fact you only sighed relived. Finally you were free from his cursed hands. He pressed your legs together and put them on his shoulder. You weren't ready for the big thing. You bearly can take his thick fingers, just looking at his cock made you almost pass out. "I don't think I'm ready for that.." you gulped, you only hoped to hear something about how you could do it if you wanted to or any words of encouragement.

"I know you can't." he said as his hand traveled to your pussy, collecting some of your juices to rub it on his cock along with his precum. "The moment I'll get inside that pussy of yours I'll make sure you won't be able to walk for days." he said as he slips his cock in between your thighs. He expected to get more than this in return, because in his head he deserves more than he gives, at least in that situation. But he's not that horny yet to forget about his morals. So this is enough for the moment, because he knows that in the future you'll be able to give him so much more than now.

He hated those eyes of yours. The way you would look so innocent, curious. Ughh. It just made him want to ruin you. Just look at the way you look at him right now. Big eyes, just as curious as always, yet he can see it more playful. It made him think that you're not taking him seriously. "Does it feel good?" he kept moving his hips back and forth, rubbing his cock on your skin. It felt so soft and warm. Your whole body was warm no matter where he puts his hands on you. He couldn't give you an answer, not because he couldn't, it was more because he didn't want to. Why don't you figure it out yourself? All he can do was to grunt, hopping you'll get the message.

His grip on your thighs was so tight that it might leave a bruise. He felt like your going to run away the moment you get a chance to. So all he can do was to grab you as close as he can. Keeping your legs in place as he moves his hips.

What was first a slow pace now turned into fast and desperate thrusts. He couldn't keep his head straight, he couldn't think anymore the moment he felt like hes getting closer and closer to that sweet release he kept chasing after. He wanted to hear something from you, it was too quiet. Yet he can't ask for it, because his ego is just not letting him.

He'll eat you up. The moment he would get inside that pussy of yours he'll make sure the whole neighborhood would hear his name. "I'd fuck that mouth of yours right now if I could." he let his thoughts out. He couldn't think of a single peaceful or good word to say to you. And you didn't said anything about it and took whatever he had to say. You watched him the whole time. You can clearly see that something is wrong with him. His face, his actions are showing so. "Fuuuck." he was so so so close. He had so many things to say yet he didn't said shit because it just didn't felt like it was the right time. You weren't in the same situation as him, you weren't going through the same rollercoaster of emotions. He really wanted to flip you over, fuck you from behind as he'd just call you a slut, or any names to degradate you. You could take it, can't you? You could take this load right here right now and thanks him for it at the end, won't you? Lost in his thoughts, he finally came all over your belly. Still moving his hips just to get everything all out.

What a night, huh. He felt into the bed right next to you, tired, and just wanting to get some sleep. Wasn't it surprising tho? He fucked differently for once and now he feels like he ran a marathon. And you had the audacity to look at him with those big eyes again. Looking so sweetly and ready to take him for real this time. "You'll sleep here tonight?"

"Who knows." he would do like always, he knew the answer yet he couldn't say that he was ready to leave in this instance your room to go back to his. He waited for you to fall asleep before he finally retreated to his bedroom.

He could only imagine how you'll react tomorrow when you can't see him. He thought you'll stay in your room just like always. But no, the next day you were in that kitchen, sitting next to him so shyly. It was like you were back to the beginning. You didn't want anything more from him than just ask if everything is alright between you too. Just to make sure everything stays the way it was before. But you can't really say anything since your landlord is also there. And this makes you feel so guilty.

"Ehh. You really done it, didn't you." the white haired guy said something. That scared you, your heart almost left your body. Does he knows? Were you in trouble? "Don't worry, Y/N. Whatever happened he probably doesn't even remembers about it." the dark haired guy only smiled like he didn't know why you were acting like that. Since his friend was so clueless maybe he could tease you about it a little.

"Hmm? What have I done?" you could see your soul leaving your body. All you wanted to do is to make sure that you're relationship stays the same. But this was too much. You were on the verge of crying.

"L- let's talk about it later!" you ran from there like always. How long would it last until you'll say something? He won't say a word until you do the first step. Why? Because he liked to see you cry. He didn't thought that he would bully you, but you clearly deserve it for playing with his head.

Imagine his surprise to see you the next day in the kitchen again. If he would be the first to come out his room, now he would make sure to come as late as possible. You could go to his room and say whatever you had to say, yet you didn't. You would go in that damn kitchen all the time to interact with them. Was that small talk enough for you? Didn't you wanted more? Because if you would come to his room he promise to reward you for your courage and give you a little bit of himself. You could even choose what you wanted from him. He would be glad to hear what you had to say. That if you stop going into that kitchen and just be straight forward. In his eyes you were a coward. Yet he loved toying you the way he wants.

You sat next to him again. This time more determined than before. You took out your phone and typed a simple question in your notepad.

'Can I ask you something?' you showed him your phone screen.

He acted like he didn't see it.

'I really want to ask you something.'

Still he acted like he didn't see anything.

This was pure madness. This was getting on your nerves. You stepped on his foot to get his attention. He gasped as he looked in shock at you. The nerves. The audacity. You point to your phone again yet he keeps acting like he doesn't see anything. He even turned his face away.

"Just talk already." Gojo only rolled his eyes. "What happened anyway?"

Geto looked at you. He didn't planned on saying anything unless you said it. He just wanted to fuck with your head after all. Nothing more besides getting on your nevers. You wanted to say it so bad. The words wouldn't come out your mouth when so many eyes were on you. It didn't matter if it were only them. You can't say it. So you did the only thing you had left. Retreat. At least for the moment. You got out of there and stormed in your room. Next time it's either a win or nothing at all. You swear to get an end to this and then you can live peacefully and go on with your life.

The next day you waited in the hallway for that stubborn man to come out his room. It was a long wait, yet you stayed by his door until he finally came out. "Are we good. Yes or no?" you went straight to the point. All these days of playing around made you sick of this.

"Why don't you come in so we could talk about it?" he wanted you in his room, he will get you there.

"I just want to know that nothing changed."

"What do you mean by that?" this damn wolf.

"Like. We're the same as before, right? I just want to make sure nothing changed between us. " he had that dumb smile on his face and he kept acting like he doesn't know shit.

"Come in and lets talk." this was making you so mad. He didn't wanted to talk when you tried before but now hes willing to talk about it? He grabbed your hand and dragged you in his room, pushing you against the door as soon as he closed it. Hands in your shirt going up as his lips touched yours. Here was your reward for taking such a big step.

"You said talk." you gasped for air.

"This is also a form of talking." his cold hands made you squirm. The way he's moving his hands up and down against your skin. He wanted to go all the way up to your breasts until you heard a someone knocking on the door.

"It's me. Just wanted to make sure you two are alright." this was clearly a way to get out of there before this situation gets worse.

"Ah yes. We're fine." a hand grabbed your arm, stopping you from going further away. That damn fox just can't let you go yet.

"Can I know what happened?" you tried to not panic, but you just couldn't. Your mind was still on whatever happened earlier.

"We watched a movie and we argued about it." it was far from the truth. But you'll just go with what Geto said. You can't think of a better excuse.

"Huh?" your landlord raised and eyebrow.

"It was a good movie. Right, Y/N?" the way this man haves to drag you through mud and hell before you could have a break.

You gulped. "Indeed." you can't even find your words.

"So we can go like how it was before then." this evil man said it like you weren't the one that kept trying to make sure everything is alright.

"I should put a parental lock on that tv." your landlord only sighed and turned around going back to the kitchen. You ran from there in your room. Only wanting a break from this madness.

[vrisrezis]

General waluigi relationship hcs because nobody will write for my man’s . Don’t judge me for this one

Also I haven’t done this formate for writing in so longggg

MY MANNNSSS waluigi !!

• He may seem like a jerk to others but to you he’s the absolute sweetest dork of all time☹️☹️☹️☹️❤️❤️ like I swear whenever your around he’s got nothing up his sleeve he is on his best behavior and wario is just like 😐 bro u are down so bad .

• also he’s a blushy dork whenever you’re around especially if he does a nice gesture and your like “omg ur so sweet! ^_^” he dies inside he just gives you a stupid toothy smile he cannot handle that shit his face is pure red

• SMOOCHIES!!! Listen he’s too shy to initiate believe it or not… so whenever you do.. OMGGGG he dies and he loves smooches on the cheek so much

• when it comes to sports he goes easy on you and wario wants him dead for being the reason they lost a tennis match

• silly goof of course he gives you flowers … ROSES . OF COURSE

• but if you give him roses he would die on the inside he’s just like “… nobody’s given me flowers b4 wtf” his heart explodes!!!

• don’t get that I can fix him mentality tho . He is who he is even if he tries to hide it from you, you’ll know eventually.

• he’s not that bad tho let’s be honest 🤷‍♀️

• he is a bit shy in your relationship but at the same time a big flirt, he’s all talk but no action, pretty much.

• he worries abt u a lot he’s such a dad ok . Don’t let him catch you without a scarf when it’s snowing outside

• fashion icon ok if you two are dating you guys are wearing matching outfits when it comes to tennis and any other sport you guys play with everyone else

• I hc that he’s Puerto Rican so he probably says romantic shit in Spanish to you LMFAO

• you may think he’s the one carrying you bridal style but really it’s the other way around and he may act like he hates it but he loves it so :)

• also might I add that he loves sleeping on your lap, anyway possible

• likes shorter s/o’s but wouldn’t mind it if you were taller

• not the hero type but lets just say if bowser were to ever mess with you… oh boy not good he’ll fuck up bowser so badly

• likes to share hoodies with you because he thinks you look cute in his and he looks adorable in hoodies so it’s a win win

• loves them innocent neck kisses :))

• one smooch will make him feel better when he’s angry or upset

• also a sap he’s the type to stare at you with love in his eyes with a stupid warm smile on his face and the type to just be in awe when the wind is blowing your hair just right and time slows down for him when you kiss and blah blah blah he’s a dork

• although he comes across as confident I see waluigi being insecure in a relationship as it’s not something he’s used to at all.

• he gets jealous of Luigi a lot I’m just gonna say it lmao

• but honestly just kiss him and make it better , maybe have a talk about it

• likes to slow dance with you AGRUSBXKNS he’s so cute

• also he’s on the trans hc list for me so he helps you out if youre trans lol

• body positivity for you both ayyy totally not because I get literally nightmares about my body no not at all no this is not me projecting cuz I love waluigi

• cosplaying eachothers outfits

• he hates playing Mario party now because you kick his ass LMFAO

• likes to spin you around, also likes to be spun around. Idk cute romantic shit what can I say

• big on stupid one liners he can use on you, he is such a loser

• loves to tease you but it’s all in good fun and jokes lol

• overall waluigi is a dorkkkk imo <3 love him

[gojocp]

love story

cw: fluff, i love wolf, sneaking out featuring: wolf keum

a/n: i've been obsessed with weak hero lately, i keep rereading it and wolf is SO FUNNY LMAO LIKE BRO DOES NOT GAF ABT ANYTHING also this song is SOO GOOD, and idk how phones ring. lmk how this is!! (he's prob so ooc, whateverr)

"romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. i'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run." ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

brrrring brrrrring.... brrrrring brrrring

'incoming call: wolf'

"hello?" you answer, tiredly. "are you asleep?" he asks. "i was, not anymore. why? what's up?" you respond, rubbing the sleep from your eye. "look out your window." he answers, flatly.

you do as he says, and lo and behold, he's standing outside, waving his arm. "come down, i'll catch you." he says into the phone. "wolf, it's twelve in the morning, what makes you think i'm gonna jump out of my window in my pajama's, just because you asked me to?" you question. "i'll buy icecream." he says. "give me two minutes, let me change." you respond. "i'll be waiting."

'call ended.' .・。.・゜✭・.

"can't i just go from the front door?" you ask, too scared to jump out the window. "what if you're parents wake up?" he asks. "oh yeah."

"i'm too scared! go get a ladder or something." you say. "(y/n), i promise i will catch you. just trust me." he says with his arms out. "...okay." you say hesitantly, slightly closing the window behind you.

you leap out the window and he wraps his arms around you, safely placing you on the ground. "you're fine, see?" "yeah, let's go."

wolf moves his motorcycle down the street, not wanting to wake your parents, and turns it on, helping you sit and placing a helmet on your head. "please drive slowly." you say, wrapping your arms around him and holding on tightly. "yeah, whatever." he responds, rolling his eyes and taking off.

after driving for about 20 minutes, you ask, "where are we even going?" "i don't know..? somewhere.." he responds. 'somewhere we can be alone.' "wow, thank's for really narrowing it down." you say, sarcasm evident in your voice. "and what about my icecream?" you question, remembering his promise. "there's a gas station nearby, we'll get it from there." he says. .・。.・゜✭・.

"which one do you want?" he asks. "i'm stuck between these two." you say, holding up two flavours of icecream. "pick a number, one or two." you continue. "one." he responds quickly. "no but i want the second one... yeah! i'm choosing this." you say, holding up the second option. "okay.." he says, with a breathy laugh. "which one are you getting?" you ask. "this." he responds, grabbing a random one and heading towards the check-out. .・。.・゜✭・.

wolf parks his motorcycle and takes a seat next to you on the bench, watching as you happily eat the icecream. "is yours any good?" you ask, noticing he barely ate any. "it's okay." he responds.

"can i try some?" you ask, staring him with the best puppy eyes you could muster. you place your own on the bench as he hands his over to you. "oo, it's good." you say, taking a spoonful. "i don't like it, you can finish it." he says, flatly. "really? then, have some of mine." you add, handing your own to him.

he eyes it for a second before taking small scoop. and he must like it, because you notice something light up in his eyes as he gives you a look, asking for more. "it's good." "you can finish the rest." you offer.

he nods and finishes the rest in two spoonfulls. tossing the container and spoon into a nearby garbage can. he watches you carefully, taking in your features in reactions, trying to figure out if you actually like the icecream or if you're just saying you do. when he concludes you're enjoying it, he smiles softly and looks away, observing something else.

this action, however, doesn't go unnoticed by you, as it makes your heart grow warm.

after you finish your icecream, wolf tosses it for you and you both sit in silence. "i'm so tired!!" you whine, yawning as you break the silence. "wanna head back?" he asks, glancing at you. "nah, let's stay for a few minutes." you respond, leaning your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around his. in return, he leans his head ontop of your own and crosses his arms. .・。.・゜✭・.

as you return home, you can't help but feel a little dissapointed that your date was coming to an end. when you reach your window, you wrap your arms around wolf's neck and place a kiss on the cheek. "thank you wolf, i had fun." you say, pulling away to look at him as he wraps his arms around your waist. "go inside." he says, but not before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on your lips. his own way of saying "i had fun too."

he boosts you up with his hands and watches as you safely climb into the window. "goodnight! get home safe!" you call out softly from the window, hoping he hears. he raises his hand as a wave and walks off after you close the window.

ding!!

you look at your phone as you recieve a text.

wolf: gn.

[ilikecutecat]

How I think the ARR boys would react if you throw a cake at them

before we start, i haven't read much about the lore/ i forget most of them now. So some characters might be off character sorry.

reader/mc is gender neutral

Koga Kitamikado

Uh pretty good 6/10 Definitely would say he enjoys the fun and challenge (?) 100% would laugh at it. -1000000 points if you throw a peach cake at him

Kuya

Ehh… 5/10 This could end in 2 ways Bro definitely fly up if you throw it or he not was enough ( idk if he have a fast reflex) The second outcome and the more likely. Wouldn't even care. He definitely would like the cream of his face then just fall asleep -1 point cuz koga won't like the floor/ bed dirty

Aoi

-10/10 Mad as hell, you might get the silent treatment Definitely made you clean up or help you clean up a bit. +1 if he like you he will try to be kindish more and won't yell at you that much Keyword: try

Ginnojo

4/10 Might be confused about what u doing I say depends on your relationship, if you 2 close he might laugh it off (?) if not uh yeah. Might blushes if you clean up his face ( if you a woman ) i say he would

( Idk how to write him)

Yura

100/10 Would very like it His brother don't so mins 10 points Yura would say something like: " this cake is yummy or thou art a teaseing woman or something" ( I'm not good with old language ) 100% would like the cream. All the cream of his face. Might ask for some more.

Toichiro Yuri

-1/10 not good. Mad definitely mad. But I think he might smile and laugh at it. Not sure if he think this might be childish but ehhh.. maybe. Gonna be a little shit about it. +5 point if you help him pranks koga with peach. 100% would get revenge on you. Watch your back.

Shizuki

0/10 yeh Might swap the tochiro point and shizuki point together idk.

Toichiro could like bring him booze and lock him and you togethers He either have a good reflex and freeze the cake before it gets to him. Or he fail. Would say he pretty disappointed and will told you that you are imatured (?)

-100000 points if you tell that he fail to kagemaru.

Kuro

10000000/10 I love him Would laugh at it like koga ( love his silly smile ) 100% would lick the cream and taste it. 99% put some creams on your face as revenge. 1% stand for he no wanna hurt your pretty face <3 Enjoy the fun and might make a cake war with everyone ( Good luck ) He could like make a cake theme circus like some of the event and invite you guys in. +100000000000 point cuz he is kuro and I love him part

Oji

7/10

"Young people/ youngster these days… " Or "I'm too old for this" He definitely said something related to that. You can't change my mind, I will take it down with my grave. +1 point if you help clean the mess and his mess. He would rewards you with the Rice Omelet. if not i will say poor Aoi...

he might escape the cake war if he ran out and smoke before it stared.

Gaku

2/10 no. Really don't. More no if you throw one at his brother. Even if yura like it. He doesn't tho. -2 point if the cake is sweet. Unless yura calm him down he will be hella mad. Don't tell toichiro about this.

(idk what else)

Nachi

8/10 meow I'm not sure if he like cake or not but it's you… Soo I suppose he doesn't mind much? You better apologize with sardines. Many many many many sardines Don't tell anyone tho. Who does not want to be the "butt of everyone's joke" Get it? :3

Kagemaru

Oh dear… You have guts 5/10 I say it's a 50/50 thing. In his profile he does like the strong.. idk if being bold like that is considered strong but.. you do you. Um would ask a fight about it. Idk if geisha allowed to make new ideas in the way to "seduce" customer but would add cake fight for the fun of it. Like tochiro+10 points if you do it to shizuki.

Well he have 2 persona before the event and after so… ( Spoiler)

Aki ( before the event)

6/10 Say something like "a-ah! Oh it's you! Haha.. I never knew.! Don't do it again pls.. I hate being scared (?" Uh yeah idk if he does say something like that I forgot but close to it. Would be shy about it tho

All now for the evi one.

Akiyasu Kurahashi

0/10 yeah I think it kinda self explain. But would ignore it. Or like uh used some onmyoij art to make it miss or something. But imagine if it does hit him. Wouldn't care. Would get annoyed tho.

Tatsuomi Oyama

6/10 if you are like futuba not so bad. But even if you are not. I say he still haddle it well. Not gonna yell or be mad he would be like normal. +1 point if you give him some apologize gift like nachi.

Yakumo Koizumi

8/10 "My doll you are so interesting…" Something like that. Not so sure if he hate cake or sweet or anything like that but yeah. I say he wouldn't mind cuz it's.. you after all. Maybe tiny bit minded that he have to change his clothes ( does he hate being dirty?? Idk) Make him high cuz he like you better then anyone. If it's something else? Oh they be dead.

Kyonosuke Aizen

?/10 idk tbh but -1 point cuz his name is long as hell and I have a difficult time writing it. I say he have good reflex and dodge it.

might called you childish Yeah. Sorry. Idk tbh. But would say he haddle it calm and collected. (maybe)

Mototaka Saotome 

8/10 would only work if you see the reader as futaba or you see him as your father yourself. Cuz he best dad. But would like some father and daughter/son( if you oc is a boy) moment I don't think he would be mad at you. If you look at how he gone to business so much he would think it nice to got some moment like mentioned above.

[dootznbootz]

Hi!! I love your blog and I’m enjoying your Odypen headcanons and theories very much! I recently started reading the Iliad so I’m new to all this and I just want to know your opinion on smth. In song 1, lines 135-140 Agamemnon mentions the bride prizes of several Achaean leaders, including Odysseus. Obviously nothing else is mentioned, no name, just that he has one, too. What’s your take on that? Any headcanons? I honestly hate the whole cheating discourse around him and I don’t want to add more fuel to the fire because in the Odyssey he was clearly a victim!! I would just love to know what you think about this particular thing in the Iliad. Considering the historical and cultural context, having a bride prize was normal in war (albeit awful from our modern standpoint). But Odysseus is a very interesting and complicated character so this could go in many different ways with him, and in any case it doesn’t really change my opinion on his love for Penelope. Thank you! :)

Thank you so much!!! That's so kind! And I'm so happy you're reading the Iliad! I hope you enjoy it! I'm so happy you're enjoying my silly and I DO have many thoughts about it! :D

And very good that either way, it doesn't change your opinion on his love for Penelope. My opinion/interpretation regardless of those lines, that should ALWAYS be the interpretation that people have of Odysseus.

So idk if you've seen my Aspec OdyPen silliness yet and/or my "Odysseus is a half-eunich from the boar". BUT those are my headcanons. (which I can delve into further later)

but I'll go over the canon evidence now. :P

(disclaimer: Slavery is a fucked up thing regardless of the circumstances. this is in no way excusing any of it)

So IDK which translation you're reading, but as someone who's read multiple versions...Some just say "Prize", and with the "it" and "something". I...didn't really see it as a woman and/or specifically a concubine.

Let Achaeans give me another prize, equal in value, something I’ll enjoy. If not, then I’ll take a prize myself by force,                                   something from you or Ajax or Odysseus.

(Book 1, Johnston)

Let the Achaeans find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your own, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming.

(Book 1, Butler)

But if they do not give me such a gift, then I will seize your own prize or Ajax’s or Odysseus’ and carry it away, angering whomever I visit.

(Book 1, Heumann)

So to ME, (I do not know what the actual words said mean) I take "Prize" of "something of equal value" and/or just a slave.

As yeah...My Odysseus is aspec (basically Pen-romantic/Pen-sexual), I kind of plan to WRITE it personally as a bit of a thing with "Grab one of Odysseus' slaves, he doesn't use them as concubines."

And with Odysseus being the one to transport Chryseis, I have it where it's a bit of "I'll go bring her to her father. Take any slave you wish from my tent if you must. I don't care."

Agamemnon dragged a swift ship down the shore, chose twenty sailors, loaded on the oxen, offerings for the god, and led on fair-cheeked Chryseis.          Shrewd Odysseus shipped on as leader. All aboard, they set off, carving a pathway through the sea.

(Book 1, Johnston)

(Also with Ajax and his girlfriend/bride prize, I think this kind of made him extremely worried. My Odysseus and Ajax have "special beef" even BEFORE the war but they are fine about it by the war. Odysseus not only doesn't have a concubine or slave woman he's attached to but he also was helping a bro out in a way lol.)

And Odysseus is a king and a piece of shit. It's horrible but it feels in character for my lil asshole to basically use pretty slaves in trading. "Hey, you like lighthaired girls, yeah? Well, you have that really pretty silver-studded sword...I want it. Would you like to exchange?"

I want to make it clear that I'm not writing like this or interpreting this in the way of "UwU Odysseus is too of a good boy for that." as that feels icky to try and "make everyone else shitty to make him 'better'". It's literally because Odysseus is just simply LIKE this. He has basically no libido/sex drive if Penelope isn't around. (I'm keeping this as safe for wormlings as I can so I'll leave it at that.)

An old wip post explains it more but I'll also put the wip itself here to kind of explain lol

Like... Love and Lust only exist in Penelope for Odysseus and vice versa. But he's still an asshole.

Not only do they just give SUCH ace vibes to me but also like, ngl, this is really nice to write and "let out some frustrations" with vent writing. I relate to Odysseus in a lot of ways and the whole "People/goddesses won't leave you alone despite wishing to be left alone" and the "pretty asexual" is really nice to vent through him. :')

I can't bitch someone out for trying to "change my mind" but Odysseus can. It's another reason why my Odysseus is a "pretty boy" as he is in canon as well :P

BUT these are just MY headcanons and/or what I plan to write, while I just don't really vibe with Odysseus being with folks willingly other than Penelope I have big gay for her. I live vicariously through Odysseus I can't stop others and other people COULD find evidence of Odysseus being with others if they truly wanted.

[makipedia]

OKKK maki dating head-cannons🤗

A REQUEST?!?!#?G$^W OMG😍

love best girl maki smsmsmsmmmsmsmmsmsmsm <33

-this can be gender neutral (but im imagining the reader as a female for myself just cuz ima girl but otherwise it's gender neutral, except for when i'm mentioning afab/amab)

-always angry

-she's not angry at you,,, she's angry at the world. primarily because panda and toge WILL NOT stop teasing her about it

-but she's very nice to you, even when she doesn't think she is. it's like she hates everyone and loves you (why can't she be real </3)

-even after you two started going out, it took a LOOONG time for her to get used to the affection u give (if u do like giving affection. if u dont then ignore this and pretend ur the same as her/j)

-UGH she's so cute whenever you hug her, cuz she isn't used to all the affection since she never really received it as a child. that poor girl- i wanna give her all the love she deserves :( can u tell i love maki

-when she does get used to the affection, forehead kisses are vv common! and they're so cute gn. you two could be tired from training all day and you're sitting together while drinking water and she'll randomly give u a forehead kiss or maybe a cheek kiss idk. and when u turn to smile back at her she's always blushing, and you just can't help yourself so you lean in to kiss her cheek as well. her face turns even more red as she mumbles little strings of curses under her breath.

-live laugh maki. <3

-for afab readers, maki defo seeks advice on how to ask u out from either shoko (if u decide the relationship starts in the time jjk 0 takes place) or nobara if u haven't seen the movie yet. all those hours she spent talking with shoko/nobara just for u to be the one asking her out LMAOO

-yeah. toge and panda always joke about it and she'll threaten them with the least scary threats like "i'll kill you!1!1!! >:(" and they'll just die laughing along with u

-for amab readers she defo didn't expect to fall for a guy after being treated like shit from the zen'in clan which it mainly men😃 (i hope that's a valid reason to hc she's wlw but i dont want criticism so i'm adding amab readers <:)) tho she didn't go to any of the boys for help (not even yuta LMAO)

-she's more dominant hotter than you, no matter the gender. you could be the sexiest actress in the world or the most majestic bro on tiktok and she'd still be hotter LOL (accept it losers/j)

-being hot doesn't always come with confidence (but most of the time it does and it takes a while for her to embrace that) and once she actually does embrace it, she's a TERRIFIC flirter i want maki to flirt with me

-she loves seeing u blushing and embarrassed, again, no matter the gender. tho she did reluctantly pick up tips from gojo whenever she'd see him rizzing up some girl on the street LMAO

"hey there, hot stuff."

"are you trying to rizz me up again?"

"no, would you like me to?"

IT WORKS EVERY TIME??? if that sucked im sorry i have no rizz shamefully and it always ends up with u blushing (if y'all are aged up idk where u wanna take that...😓)

-and if y'all r making out expect things to go her way (you'll be busy for a while so put ur shit on do not disturb) with her shoving u against a wall not me projecting my daydreams

-lemme stop b4 i get out of hand.

-ANYWAYS dating her would be super fun if she wouldn't be TRAINING ALL THE TIME!!! that girl is always training and it takes 5 sacrifices to god and one spar to get her to stop </3. then u guys hang out in y'alls rooms, varying from hers or yours (mainly yours tho idk why just go with it)

yeah idk what else to add LOL

[0kandy0]

Why I like Manta so much

1.The reason I love this character so much isn’t jsut because of his deisgn which does help but the main reason why I love him so much is bc of his writing and story.First of all,Manta is established as a mean bully and a jerk in the first eps we see him in as he is often bullying others,however,despite that he still has one person he keeps close,which is Shino,his teammate and most probably only friend since who would wanna be friends with such a jerk,right?Here comes the catch,in the episode titles “The Polaris predicament” we get introduced to a shorescrubber from Polaris,Pavel,who we also find out was Manta’s superior at the Polaris academy,and that Manta was his lackey.Due to his interactions with Manta we can see that he wasn’t such a nice guy to him,in fact,he was a bully who constantly bullied Manta.We can even see in the same ep how Manga,who is usually stubborn and mean to everyone,going as far as to call Wyatt “bro” in an ep,and even disrespect him(most probably knowing Manta),BUT when Pavel is being mean to Manta,he doesn’t talk back,he just accepts it.That’s the first time we see more of Manta rather than him being just a mean bully to everyone.Knowing that he’s a victim of bullying,we can fairly say that the constant bullying he got from pavel didn’t do well to him,in fact,it made him become a bully himself.Despite that,he’s still not as mean to Shino as he is to everyone else,which,I could go on another rant just about them but I won’t do it(yet).We know that Shino also went to the academy,and that he also knows pavel,due to pavel asking him to be HIS mechanic and engineer(basically telling Shino to leave Manta,which tbh,kind of manipulating)We see Shino being hesitant to talk to pavel,which tells us despite most probably not enduring the same amount of bullying Manta got from Pavel,he still fears Pavel a little,saying yes,but being hesitant to do so.When Manta comes back,Pavel straight up tells Manta that he should pack his things bc he’s sending him back to Polaris,and he also says this exact thing “won’t you congratulate Shino?” Before he turns Shino’s chair so he could face Manta,we notice the way Shino looks down with full on fucking guilt on his face bc obv he didn’t wanna abandon Manta,but,he didn’t really have a choice.In the next scenes,we get to notice how Corto,tries to help Manta get rid of pavel(send him back to Polaris so Manta could keep being the pilot for the cold kings)however Manta tells Corto that he can’t “disobey academy rules”,we also see that in a scene where Corto asks Shino why didn’t anyone stop pavel from bullying Manta,Shino tells her that “everyone obeys the trainer,no mater how hard it is” Which…..EXCUSE ME???EVERYONE OBEYS THE TRAINER NO MATTER HIW HARD IT IS???SHINO JUST BASICALLY FUCKING TOLD US RHE ACADEMY IS FUCKING ABUSIVE

Anyway,we learn from the Polaris predicament ep that Manta’s bullying is all a TRAUMA RESPONSE SINCE HE WAS BULLIED(constantly may I add).All Manta knows is that since no one stopped Pavel,why would anyone stop him from being a bully?His mentality is fucked up bc of the trauma pavel gave him,he doesn’t know any better,he’s 15,he needs an adult to teach him what’s right and wrong,not to mention that Wyatt and Neptune,the only adults on the island do literally nothing to help Manta become a better person,all they do is criticize him,LIKE BRO IF U SEE THE GUY HAS ISSUES TRY AND HELP HIM OR SMT IDK DONT JUST CRITICIZE HIM ALL DAY TRY AND EXPLAIN TO HIM TRY AND TEACH HIM TRY AND MAKE HIM REALIZE HIS MISTAKES!!!

2.Silly gay Russian boy with anger issues:3

Anywya my rant is done even tho I could have said much more:3

[unknownarmageddon]

bro info dump, rn, also, what’s ur sketchin process? you got an art process bro? explain

Okay!! So!!! For my sketching process I start with just like. A stick figure. Basically

after I figured out that was something I could do it’s helped me IMMENSELY like it’s insane. It’s really good with helping me map out the scene I want, poses, and proportions and stuff. It’s a great starting point for me ig

and then after I get that down I just. Starting gettin to it I guess. Layin down shit y’know

I use a lot of different colors to help like. Differentiate different parts so it doesn’t just all bleed together when I look at it. Helps get stuff looking less wonky for me ig. Also the way I do sketching is a lot of going back and forth and like shifting around lines and smoothing stuff out via erasing. Generally really intentional and not quick or energetic or whatever. IDK it’s hard to explain

I also do a shit ton of moving bits around and resizing and rotating and all that. That’s like one of my favorite things about doing stuff digital is the fact that you can move stuff around basically effortlessly it’s great. That’s my crutch man

after I get my sketch how I want I usually do the background after, depending on if I’m doing a big background or not. I’ll either do the background between the stick figure phase or the entirety of the sketching phase. Doing the background then helps me from getting tired of the thing I’m working on A LOT like it’s like. A break I guess. Cause I don’t like sketching but I fucking love doing the backgrounds.

and for my backgrounds I have. Absolutely no idea how I do those it’s such a process. I black out when I do them I don’t notice the exact way I do them /silly /j But usually I’ll lay down the base shapes and colors and then do just. So much rendering. Like it’s really just me fucking around with colors and lighting and shading and stuff. That’s also usually when I establish the palette I wanna use for the piece. And I usually do the background in one go.

Then after the background I do lineart, which isn’t that exciting so I don’t got a lotta say about it. Same thing with the base colors, which I do after the lines.

THEN after that’s when it gets fun, which is when I do the rendering. For this it’s just a lot of me fucking around with shading and colors again I do like. Fifty (/j) passes of shading and lighting and just. Colors. I usually start with like a base of cell shading, which I’ll either leave as is or soften the edges with one of my brushes. Depends on the piece. THEN I’ll go in with my airbrush brush and slap on a bunch of the same shading color to like. Add interest I guess. usually I’ll keep my focus where my light source isn’t instead of just doing it all over it IS deliberate. Generally keeps stuff from being as flat as it would be if it was just the cell shading. And I do that for several layers and mess around with opacity and etc

these are kinda some good examples you might be able to see what I mean here

after I get the shading down’s when I fuck around with like. Overlays??? Sorta but not really but I dunno how else to describe it. Basically this is when I start layering on whatever my lighter value is. Usually it’s a bright red or a bright purple. In the spots I didn’t shade as much. This kinda like. Makes stuff more vibrant, cause I find that the shading can make stuff look less saturated in cases. Again idk how to describe it BAHA also that’s just how I like doing my colors 👍

the whole coloring process is hard to explain that’s when I really get Hyper Focused and get into this coloring frenzy so I’m not fully conscious of how I do it /silly

ANYWAY after the colors I’ll usually do the final touches of like, coloring my lines. I’ll airbrush on some bright red and/or purple in spots and then turn the opacity down so it’s not that in your face, but it is there, so my lines aren’t just pure black. Then I’ll lay on some low opacity layers of whatever my shading colors are, like a dark purple, to tie stuff together more. Then I slap on some random noise. Love that shit. And any final final shading rendering stuff and also usually I’ll add a border around the main focus (the character(s), usually) via copying the layer that is that character, putting up a color vector thing or whatever you call it, selecting it with my selector tool, expanding the selection a bit, and then coloring it again. Hard to explain but that’s the gist. And then I’m done!!!

So. Yeah. That’s the Armageddon Art Process I guess :] /silly

[itsays]

oversharing below

so i have yet to receive my official diagnosis but i've decided i dont care anymore. when i got my initial diagnosis at 16 i realized something. i already knew that so it made no difference to me to hear a doctor saying it. i was just like well duh. i know people are against self diagnosis or whatever (cough do you hate poor people be honest cough) but i feel like she's kinda been good to me idk what to tell you. anyways. we've been discussing lots of new things in therapy since the year started and the doctor says he thinks i might be in the spectrum! which is so funny because it's not something that ever occurred to me. but of course ive been reading about autism in women (not nearly as much as i would like, mostly because it has been so difficult for me for some reason, compared to other diagnoses i've received) but it's been six months since we've started this stage and honestly what else is there really? that's it i feel like we've finally figured it out bro. autistic woman, obviously another victim of medical misogyny of course, thanks for that btw let's add that to the list of traumas. AND GUESS WHAT. did you know a lot of autistic people struggle with food? i have been reading into this as well and i've been laughing reading these articles. i am the text book definition of this arfid thing that's CRAZY. i could've figured this out by myself by age 15 if someone had simply given me a book to read about but remember everyone, women cant be autistic and also anorexia and bulimia are the only eating disorders to ever exist btw. so thanks for that. medical neglect for the win SLAY. thanks for that really.

now do i feel like these revelations help? well im mostly just angry and not really sure how knowing finding this out 27 years too late is really going to fix me. but i am thankful i know understand what went wrong so thanks for that i suppose.

so yeah anyways. not officially diagnosed we're just investigating or whatever and my doctor can analyze all he wants but i feel this is the only logical conclusion at this point.

so where do we go from here? i dont know! but i felt the need to write this as i havent mentioned this to anyone and whenever my doctor speaks about the diagnosis thing i just nod instead of being like "well i think the answer's obvious lol"

very wild way to start off the year but we're here

[crazyf0rswayze]

Hi! I have a fic idea/request that I hope you'll like <3

Basically it's Curtis Sister!Reader x Dally where he goes to Darry for girl advice but Darry doesn't know that Dallas is asking for advice about his sister because Dally & the reader haven't told the gang yet. So Dallas has to be kinda vague and Darry doesn't really understand what he's asking but tries to be a solid guy and help anyway.

Idk I just love the idea that Dallas sees Darry as an older brother and Darry is the ultimate advice giver in the gang and its like love and fluff but also a solid bro moment??

Basically it's Curtis Sister!Reader x Dally where he goes to Darry for girl advice but Darry doesn't know that Dallas is asking for advice about his sister because Dally & the reader haven't told the gang yet. So Dallas has to be kinda vague and Darry doesn't really understand what he's asking but tries to be a solid guy and help anyway.

Idk I just love the idea that Dallas sees Darry as an older brother and Darry is the ultimate advice giver in the gang and its like love and fluff but also a solid bro moment?? 

Warning: this is a bit ooc for Dal

DALLAS'S POV

"Hey Darry....I've got a question" I say, walking over to the kitchen and leaning on the counter. Darry puts the newspaper down, and looks at me. 

"I need some girl advice" I say. I'm not sure how I was going to ask his about this because he didn't exactly know I was about to ask about his sister....with out...saying it's his sister

"Wow...gee I wish Soda was here right now. Now he's a ladies man" Darry says, placing his hands behind him, on the counter.

"Yea but he's at work right now and you're not. You're the only other person in the gang that can give solid advice" I reply.

"Ok so...what's she like" he asks. Oh how perfect...how do I describe his kid sister without describing his kid sister?

"And what exactly do you need help with?" Darry adds on

"I need help showing that I love her, because I feel like she doesn't know how much I do" I say, looking at the floor

"Does she like flowers? Chocolate? What do you think her love language is?" Darry asks

"Yea...she likes flowers. She likes chocolates too, so I think I could get her some. She likes daisies, and she likes roses too. I think....maybe physical touch, she likes sweet words" I say. I really hoped he didn't know Y/n's favorite flower because that made it obvious it was his kid sister. 

"That's good. So maybe just hug her lots. Hug her from behind, girls like that. Kiss her neck when you do that, some of them like that. Tell her she's pretty, but compliment her personality too, not just her looks. You dig?" Darry explains.

"Yea..." I say

"Who's the gal? If I knew I could help better." Darry asks. My face goes red

"N-nobody you'd know" I say

DARRY'S POV

I was growing a little suspicious because Y/n likes daisies and roses too, but I tried to not think about it. Because if it was her, he would tell me right?

DALLAS'S POV

"What did some of your girls like?" I ask Darry. 

"Don't worry about it. They were all bad people" Darry says.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"They used me for the popularity ok? Doesn't feel good. I don't wanna talk about it or remember it" 

"Ok...we don't gotta" I say

"What else does this girl like? Is she nice? Is this gonna end like it did with Sylvia "

"DON'T talk about Sylvia. Don't say her name when it comes to my relationship" I say. I hated hearing her God damn name 

"Sorry..." Darry says. 

"Whatever it's fine. And yes this girl is nice. She treats people good. She treats me good....she's the only girl who has and I can't lose her because my stupid self can't show I love her"

"You're not stupid for having a hard time showing love. You..." Darry cuts himself off with a sigh, and I could tell he was trying to find a way to word what he was planning on saying. 

"People who didn't really grow up with love have a hard time showing other people that they love them because you weren't shown it. It's normal, more than you think. Even with me, I grew up with the most loving people ever but have a hard time showing love because I don't have a parental figure to love me anymore. Working two jobs, raising my brothers and my sister and looking after you boys... Hardened me up a little. You know?" Darry rambled looking at his feet.

"Darry I'm real sorry, you shouldn't have to go through that" I say

"Ha! There it is! You can comfort people! You have sympathy! That's great, that's how you show love!" Darry says, snapping his fingers at me and pointing. 

"But just because I got you to show all that, doesn't mean what I said was a lie. But I don't want you worrying ok?" He adds

"Yea...I'll try not to worry" I say looking at him. He smiles back

"Do you have amy other questions?" Darry asks.

"How do I comfort a girl? It's different than comforting a guy" I ask

"Hug her, pull her head into your chest and tell it's gonna be ok. Give her advice, but if she seems really upset, just hold her. Ok? And then you can rub her back, grab her tissues if she needs 'em...kiss her. Little pecks, no tongue. Cheeks, lips, hands, arms, forehead, head. Ya know?" Darry explains

"Yea. I think that's it..." I say

"Alright, if anything comes up let me know ok?" Darry says. He smiles kindly at me, and grabs the newspaper and continues to read. 

"Yea, I'll tell ya." I say. Just then Y/n walks in the door waving at someone outside.

"Oh hi Dal. I didn't expect you to be over. How are ya?" She asks.

Y/N POV

"Good. You?" Dallas asks. 

"Good. I went out with Bella. We did a bit of shopping and grabbed some food" she says sitting on the counter

"Hey! Off the counter you know the rules" Darry says. 

"S-sorry" she says hopping down. 

"Hey, I didn't mean to be rude I'm sorry. Just....no sitting on the counter" Darry says. 

"Don't worry about it" I say. I don't know....I had this feeling that Darry and Dally just had a deep one on one. 

"Well, I'm gonna head out." Dallas says. But....then Johnny, Ponyboy, and Sodapop walk in. And then the rest of the gang.

"Then I guess I'm staying" Dallas says. He sits on the couch beside Johnny, and starts talking to him. I walk over to the living room, and sit down on the floor next to Soda.

"What did you boys do today?" I ask my twin brother

"Nothin' much. Work, and then Pony Johnny and I walked around town a little bit. And may or may not have almost gotten jumped. But surprisingly enough we didn't. " He says, looking at me

"Nice...but don't let Darry find out" I say

"Find out what?" Darry says, sitting off to the side of us in his recliner.

"Sodapop almost got jumped" I say

"Yea haha good thing I didn't" Sodapop says putting his elbow in my side.  

"Ow!" I say jokingly as I hit Soda's arm

"Ok ok...what did you do today" Sodapop asks, returning the question I asked him a few minutes ago

"I went out with Bella, and then grabbed some food. We did a bit of shopping too" I say

"Did you get anything?"

"Just a little necklace." I say

"Cool" Sodapop says. 

DALLAS'S POV

Sometimes I really wish someone knew about Y/n and I. It was getting hard to keep the secret and to be honest I don't even know why we wanted it to be a secret. Maybe because Darry wanted Y/n to have a nice boyfriend, not some JD and a hood. I see her having a good time laughing with her twin, laughing with the gang. But she never laughs with me when they're around. It doesn't make a guy feel too good. It makes it a little harder to show her love because we're always around them...