#idk what i'll do w/them ever but i have em now

[girlkisserr]

more of them individuals below cut

[paramountpetrichor]

meows at you. whats ur fave celestialcest ship...... and feel free to ramble abt them as much as u want I'll happily listen ☕️👀

dear god this ask has been in my inbox for So long now i am So sorry- i promise i haven't been neglecting it/this blog i've just been busy isgwigogwogq

ANYWAYS. do you know how Hard it was for me to pick a fav celestialcest ship. it was so hard i actually Couldn't and ended up tieing btwn two lmao:

who could've POSSIBLY seen this coming. ts/ams sxm my BELOVED. theyre THE otp and fucking ADORABLE- literal soulmates and each others entire world. so whipped for each other its near comical.

like ik antis would call me crazy but yall have SEEN how much these two hit on each other, right?? esp moon to sun??? whenever i watch gameplay eps and they laugh like idiots together i just go 'oughh theyre kissing So hard whenever the cameras cut istggg'

the day moon confesses to being touched starved and sun starts being more touchy to him in canon in response is the day i lose my minddd. cause i already stim like an absolute codswallop whenever they're just on screen n playing together, but if they actually show intimacy??? ohhh im DONE for

and all of that is them w/o even mentioning the story and the drama from the bs that is their lives, as well as the slightly toxic power dynamic (esp when its old moon n sun) btwn them born from suns need for moons approval and moons need to protect his personal beam of light no matter the cost and I EAT THAT THE FUCK UPPP 🤌🤌🤌

they make me INSANE and if anyone ever wants to yell about them please please PLEASE know my inbox is always open cause they make me coocoo for cocoa puffs iagosgohaoya

anyways, the only ship that rivals That one:

ignore that the image isnt rendered i got lazy igsajgajash

okay so tbch this one started as a 'im shipping this bc the cold/cynical/analytical characters are always my favs to ship together, and moon n clipse fit that role Perfectly. not to mention enemies to lovers is my fav romance trope of all time' but then it spiraled so fast the more i thought about them

its about them going from being unable to stand in the same room to tolerating each others' presence to the mourning of what they couldve been to the mutual silent agreement to try again to gentle barbs/teasing to shared laughter over stupid things to suddenly wanting to be around each other more often to actively seeking out each others' presence to spending whole nights in the lab/p&s working on tech together to inching closer and closer together until fingertips can be touched to desperate chaste kisses being traded in the middle of the night to those kisses becoming Not So Chaste to them becoming more public to 'oh no, when did i fall in love with my own worst enemy?'

^ im normal about them i promise (FUCKING LYING)

one last thing w them- they have been walked in on while making out in p&s so many times that everyone is more shocked whenever they're Not doing that. what can i say i write them as handsy mfers sigoagoaa

honestly idk if i could choose btwn these two or moon n sun. best case scenario? shove all three of em together, and Any of em can be the monkey in the middle :3c

(...but again im a multishipper so my Real solution to what my fav ship is? ...looks at my ao3 page... family-wide polyamorus blob :D)

[sevicia]

alsooo list of things that have been making rounds inside my head for a while now:

1. ear ice pick

2. nostril spinning saw rod

3. the phrase "I'll stop stabbing when you stop screaming" bc it's kinda funny and I think I saw it on some Riddler fanart ??

4. the phrase "They'll keep finding your body for three months. You'll be alive for at least two of them." bc it's cool even if it sounds kinda edgy ykwim... it's from a post on here, I have it on my blag but I don't wanna look for it rn

5. the phrase "Mary pays in blood" which just sorta manifested into my brain one day & IDK if I saw it somewhere and then forgot WHERE I saw it but ya. And it's really kinda annoying me cause like who is Mary and what is she paying for and why does it have to be in blood.... Google is not telling me.

6. Off of that 👆 I had an idea of "Mary" (not 2 be confused w/ the Mary I just posted abt lol) being a girl who lives in a single very white room with a bed, a huge TV on the wall and the remote for said TV. The gist of it is that you start each "story" by flipping thru the channels and selecting one, but you are never the "true" protagonist in any of them. I was kinda stressing about having to forcefully come up w/ more than one short story for a single game cause my brain is Not That Big, but then I thought it'd be nice to just like. Take an existing side chara from an "existing" story (AKA one that I didn't force) and then do it from their POV if that makes senseeee.... just as a compilation/anthology thing maybe

7. the possum girl one that's a lot more about exploration and mystery-solving ETC but I think I already posted abt that one and the only thing I've added to it/expanded on is the girl's parents bc they are really funny n cute to me. & Also there's a guy with a flower shop now. & his sister owns a fashion boutique. And I wanna put a butcher shop in there as well cause when I go to the one near my house I rly like looking at the different signs they have around n stuff (those ones like "if you want a credit go to the bank‼️")

8. that one comic I made and then left half-finished (LOL) about my two loser guy OCs being literally physically incapable of getting bitches (gender neutral) and being absolutely COWARDLY about it was so so funny to me I keep thinking about them and about what other Situations I can toss em in

9. throat plumbing

10. one person getting stitched (like, physically and also in strange ways/places) to another except said other person is very much not into it. to say the least. kinda like human centipede but if it was two people and one of them was the one who made it happen.

11. open-wound stabbing which I think is pretty self explanatory but I started thinking about it more recently when I saw one of those videos where they've got like a bunch of balloons inside each other and then pop em by layers. which is not really similar to what I have in mind but it's what caused it.

12. kinda related to that 👆: the way blood pools inside wounds like I love splatter but there is something SO nice about seeing it come out slowly ykwim...

unlucky 13. kissing and being in love and hugging and kissing forever and ever AMEN🩷

[grimescum]

ok fine (i say to nobody because nobody asked me for this)

HEADS UP i speak about some of these as if im like. dissecting the actual meaning of the song... thats not true idk why i decided to phrase it like that. i meant that this is how the songs relate to him in my head but. i dont feel like fixing it

and ive got crazy brain fog here we fucking go

baba yaga - nilfruits is, in retrospect, a pretty loose fit considering its actual meaning, which i didn't figure out until AFTER i associated it with walter. so. :P blehh

the MV shows a young girl, easily impressionable and desperate for validation, being lured into a building with compliments and promises of being something great. she's then continually groomed (into dancing, presumably for free or next to nothing, as well as murder??) using that same validation

... or somehign idk POINT IS i know generally what its hinting at and it doesn't fit w how i see walter

brutus - the buttress reminds me of what walter might've thought about alucard right before his betrayal as well as everything that came afterwards. verse 1-3 is from the perspective of old walter,

And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing / For untimely death or demise / Or am I just wishing I could be like you?

envy is a feeling very familiar to me. even with the people i love most, if they're more liked or better off than me in any regard, i might have moments of extreme hatred towards them. it always passes, but in the past i've acted on those feelings impulsively or in a moment of lapsed judgment..

all of that was to explain how i see his betrayal, basically. him reacting in shock when seras tells him she enjoyed his presence was def the "oh i fucked everything up" moment, and him continuing on regardless could've been apathy that i also tend to feel after I've also fucked up; i think he's mentally protecting himself against the trauma of losing basically all he had in the moment. also just. yk. he probably thought since he went this far he might as well. but 1. he still could've just stopped 2. shhhh

verse 4 is from the perspective of dark! walter,

Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy / I too have a destiny / This death will be art / The people will speak of this day from near and afar

This event will be history / And I'll be great too / I don't want what you have / I wanna be you

and the outro would be during walter's defeat, though that's usually when my daydream stops since the lyrics don't match up well enough ell oh ell

scapegoat - ghost and pals mostly for the chorus.

Now do you hate me? / Are you afraid of me? / Are you able to feel culpability? / Come forth and kill me / Bow down and worship me / Take your time, all we have is eternity

Now with a new start / Broken and torn apart / Nothing in me resembles a human heart / My name is unknown / Something I've never told / On my own, I declare / "I don't wanna go home"

i see this from the perspective of dark! walter, with some lines being both literal and metaphorical. i see "all we have is eternity" and "now with a new start" to be literal in the sense of his turning. "my name is unknown, something i've never told" is metaphorical, representing him lying about his true thoughts and feelings, maybe not even having a good idea himself. also a nod to lack of identity issues in bpd. "Nothing in me resembles a human heart" is both literal and metaphorical since he's no longer human, but he's also lost the ability to care for those around him now that his plan is already in motion.

appetite of a people pleaser - ghost and pals is pretty self-explanatory but I'll point out some lyrics i think fit well anyway,

Give me your dire expectations, and I’ll consume perfection

Now that I’ve become a full-course identity / Take a bite of me / I hope that I’ve become a favorable delicacy / That I’m worth something

I’ll eat ‘em all, the thoughts of anyone I’ll ever meet / Just to make them happy / Wondering why I’m a burden, or so it seems / Aren’t I everything?

These flavors of personality are / Hindering my likeability / My impulsive desire, my appetite has / Spoiled my urge to satisfy / Everyone will like me more without it

copycat - circusP hardly even counts here but i'll add it anyway. listening to this song gave me the headcanon that whenever he realized he subconsciously picked up a behavior or habit from alucard, seras or integra, he'd feel an intense guilt for it. thats also bpd related btw i used to do that and still do to a lesser extent

ok im bored that's it

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

ok wait now i wanna talk abt weird/interesting things from my experience getting top surgery. ive seen other ppl talk abt some of these things b4 but not all of em

i thought my surgeon was gonna do the incision, like, underneath the curve of my tiddies?? he ended up kinda slicing thru the middle of them, so my scars run over the middle of my pecs, not underneath them

speaking of; ig my pecs are more developed than i thought since my chest isnt like perfectly flat but rather both my pecs have a layer of fat/flesh on them and i can feel the muscle underneath

also the dip/space inbetween from when i had tiddies looks p much exactly the same, my surgeon said sometimes it ends up buldging out and a revision is needed but thankfully that didnt happen to me

the discharge nurse let me know afterwards that my tits were 11 kilograms (right 6kg and left 5kg) like no fucking wonder i have back pain at the tender age of 19

so yknow how pain raises ur body temp and makes u sweat?? immediately upon waking up i was so warm and damp i told a nurse id soiled myself and needed a change of underwear, i hadnt! i was just really fucking sweaty lol

i also threw up twice after waking up (fortunately into containers both times), turns out anesthetic doesnt agree w/ me, also it was like a dark bottle green?? since id been fasting from the night b4 ig i was bringing up nothing but bile

pre-surgery they cldnt get the IV in my left hand and had to switch to my right and ig that made my heart rate pick up bc one of the asistants immediately came by my head and talked to me to calm me down, he was rlly nice :)

im p sure i conked out within seconds of them getting the IV in and starting up the anesthetic too, none of that 'count back from 10' shit, i took like 2 and a half deep breathes and was OUT

from a combination of the iodine and natural swelling/bruising my chest looked REALLY yellow for like 3 weeks after surgery

i got sent home the same day i got my surgery, they keep some ppl over night if theres complications but apparantly i was all good to go after resting in the post-op ward for few hours

speaking of, i woke up, puked, got some water, dicked around on tumblr, called my mum, took an 'i lived bitch' selfie, slept for a few hours, woke up, went on tumblr again, got dressed w/ some help from a nurse, pissed (by myself, woo!), and then got discharged

my scars are uneven! my left incision goes further under my armpit than my right one, and my scars vary in thickness, it actually looks kinda like ive got two scars on my left side bc it thins out so much in the middle for a few milimeters

my nipples are also a lil uneven and they ended up puckering up as they healed so i kinda looks like ive always got stiff nips oops, also theyre more brown than pink

apparantly that might be bc they took the nipple graft from my areaola bc they werent able to graft the actual nipple, idk ¯_(ツ)_/¯, obvi it doesnt look perfectly like a cis guy's nipples but i knew the chances of achieving that were relatively small + p dependent on how i healed so like im not too bothered by it

my surgeon used dissolvable stitches and one of em ended up poking out thru my scar a lil b4 it disolved, which was weird

showering w/ a plastic sandwich bag duct taped to ur chest so u dont get ur scars and nips wet is An Experience TM i'll tell u that

my scars stretched!! it happens!! esp if u raise ur arms, which u will inevitably have to do eventually, idk if they'll ever fade on their own or if i'll need scar revision treatment in the future but fortunately they didnt go keloid

my surgeon used what he called crosshatched stitching rather than drains so that saved me a lot of discomfort, i DID get a slight build up of like, i think around 40ish mls of fluid in my left side a few weeks after surgery, but my surgeon dealt w/ it by p much just poking it w/ a syringe and draining it out lol

which i didnt even feel him do at the time bc of the nerve damage lmao, which was weird asf since i could very much SEE him sticking the needle in but couldnt feel it at all

i regained my mobility like, straight away?? my surgeon said bc im young + relatively healthy it was likely that id bounce back from surgery quick but like,, i had none of the exhaustion, pain, or immobility ive seen ppl describe??

i couldnt lift my arms very high for a while obvi but like i was fine dressing myself and even washing my own hair if i just leaned over

having to sleep upright for a few weeks after surgery was v annoying since i usually rotate like a shawarma trying to find a comfy sleeping position

the post-op chest binder was sensory hell bc it was scratchy and it kept slipping down my back since it had no shoulder straps, also i accidentally bruised my ribs a lil bit by wearing it too tight oops, the fuckin relief i felt when they told me i cld stop wearing it

the post-op 'please wear these at all times so u dont get thrombosis' socks were p comfy tho, idk why they didnt cover my toes tho

regaining the sensation around ur scars is weird! my right side's been completely fine but ig bc my left scar is thicker + longer ive been getting some pain n tightness, its not a persistent issue or anything but its just kind weird bc ive never had any surgeries or major injuries to heal from before this one

u will have to get ur boobs felt up and examined probaby multiple times b4 surgery, this will feel very different from touching ur own boobs and, in my case, was ticklish??

my posture has improved somewhat since getting top surgey, what not having 11kg of weight hanging off ur chest and compressing it in towards ur ribs/spine for roughly 9 hours a day will do to a mf ig

[master-k0hga]

Idk Kohga face HC or something [ He/They/it ]

Black hair ver.

| Idk I never really had a set face reveal design for this fat fuckass, he'd always look NOT the way I picture him- Even this isn't really that close to how I'd want him to be... But guess close enough I s'pose....

Also why does he deepthroat bananas so well in AoC Koei, how do you know thIS KOEI-

But potentially this may be the best design of him I'll do so... Yeah, genderfluid looking aa bish I still have a deep love for him that isn't going away and I am unhealthy with this obsession hhhhhh,,,, Since BotW ofc so he is definitely plaguing my life in a not good way..

... I love my wife- I miss my wife tails, I miss her a lot-

Anyways, not much has changed with him, he (imo Idc) is still a 20 something yr old (120-something in BotW/TotK) shortstack who gives major bitch vibes and is in fact a major bitch hh, is the most secretive lewd artist even to his clan, can't cook for shit and math isn't his strongsuit- But can do the math when it comes to his passion hhhh //cough Sheikah/Zonai neeeeeerd-

The way his pretty ugly ass looks is the only difference and that's it- hfhbf

.. He'll still forever be besties with Zelda after the events in AoC as they become nerds for Sheikah and eventually Zonai tech, and then go "harass" Purah and Robbie (mainly Robbie since Purah is def more chaotic than he is), also Koh loves getting on Impa's nerves since they both share a love interest who's also a grampa (//cough Sooga cuz at least before the DLC, I actually had a proper HC for the "Yiga hubs" that actually works BETTER for them. So I'm sticking to my guns and paying attention to how THEY met and got together,,, to which any 'o ya'll who are interested hmu or spam my inbox so I can get into detail, and no the AU I now scrapped no longer applies anymore so forget about shit ass childhood, scummy step family and killer sister... Well I'mean Koh still has a shit ass dad but this ain't about him so- Oh wait nvm, people never gave a shit before so why would they n o w )

DON'T FORGET TO MENTION ABOUT THE BINDER HE WEARS UNDER HIS UNIFORM SO HIS BIG NATURALS DON'T BOUNCE UP AND DOWN ALL IN HIS BABY FACE

-

Close ups:

White hair alt

Black hair alt

PERSONALLY. The Yiga still have their traditional Sheikah white hair, it's only ever a choice if they dye it black or not aaaaand- The floof on their uniform is just a head piece,,,,, otherwise Sooga has some stupid ass hair

...

I said what I said, you heard me... And I stand by that statement, the floofs on their heads is DECORATION!! It's just easier to call it hair for the "Creating a Champion" book! Also cuz duh, Eng translation!!

.... Anyways, as an avid lover of this loser, my self conscious, thicc ass scrunkly boy with the wide birthing hips since the BotW days,,, He is my wife, my girlfriend, my bestie, my husband, my boyfriend my enemy, my lover, my victim, my babygirl and my family.. All in one-

....

Shut the fuck u-

. Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

Also yeah changing my watermarks and @ 's again cuz my older one was kinda hard to see, so I kinda gave 'em more of a colourful design and ngl really liking it a lot!

I was gonna try getting Glaze and Nightshade to work for somewhat extra protection on my art but my laptop is too old and definitely on it's last legs for it to run the programs properly.. So the over watermarking and adding my overdoing my sig for my current OC refs and future art will be enough for now..

Anyways, I'll add OC refs to their bio posts at a later date til I got all of the current refs updated and touched up...

[bugdogg]

1 7 10 24 (For Mizuki and Blanch :3)

YEAHHH i get to think about them againnnn ^.^

1. are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

Mizuki is associated w indigo or purplish-blues and Blanch is associated w dark maroons or brownish reds. Mizuki likes blues and purples but sometimes just sticks w black when they can't handle making a fit, Blanch wears mostly red but only sticks to dark colors, she hates flashy shit or coming off that she wants attention (idk how to explain it cause im thinking "doesn't she and kara dress alike" NO THEY DONTTT but its funny to think about)

7. favorite animal? why?

Mizuki loves all animals a whole lot, mammals and bugs especially (i explain it better here). Blanch loves badgers and boars, she likes bears too but believes they're overated a bit. to summarize: she loves the animals w brute strength and claws, (also she likes dogs but isn't as crazy as Zuki is about em)

10. if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

Mizuki wears small ear rings but sometimes would wear silly, fun ones but i actually forgot about those kinds so for now they're just small ones😭. Blanch has 2 helix piercings (idk if you can do that but don't think about it too hard) a earlobe piecing on both ears, she also has piercings we can't see but idk if i'll ever get to drawing them (again) but yeahhh.

Zuki likes silver or rose-gold jewelry and Blanch sticks to titanium for everything, both don't care for what's "expensive" they just wear for aesthetic reasons.

Both of them know nothing about gems but Zuki likes any rainbow-y gems like opal and Blanch sorta just sticks w rubys because they're red.

24. do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

Mizuki draws and doodles thingss when they're bored, they occasionally play games while home but they're not very serious about most their hobbies (sometimes they get intense about art stuff when they go to galleries and stuff but their words get really garbled when they get excited so it gets confusing to everyone else). i've also thought of times when Zuki would experiment a bit w art and sometimes try diff medias, things wouldn't stick though but it's somewhat of a hobby, trying to find new hobbies

Blanch is in a band (which i never talk about btw "grins") but she isn't really a song writer or at least doesn't consider it like a hobby, sometimes she'll play guitar on her own and vibe but she's very busy, doesn't have much time for hobbies. She is sorta artsy though, and sometimes, after she got friendly w Zuki again, would try the things Zuki would be experimenting with. I think she'd enjoy doing collages a lot, she gets magazines often from her bandmates or would get some her band was featured in so she's got a bunch of material for it.

[ineedibuprofen]

1, 2, 11, 16, 19, 20, 49 it’s kinda a lot so u don’t have to do all of them if u don’t want <33

1. do u prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

one-shots bc i have commitment issues and not enough time on my hands 😭 i have so many mutli-chapter ideas that will never be written lbr. also like, idk i like exploring characters and such within a smaller time frame, it makes things more interesting imo.

2. do u plan each chapter ahead or write as u go?

oh def write as i go. which is probably why i dont do multi-chapter rip. the only time i've planned it out is with an unfinished work i'll never finish.

11. link ur three favorite fics right now.

okay! wasn't sure if this meant of mine or other people's so i did the latter (specifically in the pjo fandom). amicus certus in re incerta cernitur by aknosde, body gold by cruel highways, & unfinished pile by fuckin_rodent (specifically the chapter linked bc it's kind of like a one-shot collection.)

16. how many fics are u nurturing right now? share one of them?

okay so i have a whole bunch of plotbunnies/ideas/one or two paragraphs of fics, so ignoring all those and the fics i have unfinished and posted, i narrowed it down to all the individual docs i had (as opposed to the complete collection of random snippets i have) i have like 25. so yknow. somewhere between that and maybe 100.

19. what is ur most-used tag on ur ao3?

just looked thru them all it's either angst or hurt/comfort

20. have u noticed any patterns in ur fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc.?

i feel like commas and em dashes are like my besties fr. and parentheses, depending on the fic. common settings are kinda obv since i write for the same fandom. i feel like i kinda take one sentence and then write a paragraph following that isn't really connected but also kind of is? tbh it's usually a trauma dump lmao. i also use actually and really excessively, my grammar hates me for it.

49. do u ever get rude reviews and how do u deal with them?

i don't! the closest thing i've ever gotten close to one is a comment w a lot of helpful constructive criticism (im actually writing a second chapter for the fic they gave it to me on to hopefully resolve some of it).

[blood-bound]

(gehenna-calling) MARKSONGSMARKSONGSMARKSONGS. theme… one related to his clan or his relationship with his clan? ALSO do you have any songs for mark + sampson?

YES MARKSONGS i LOVE ty @gehenna-calling okay okay lets see most of them relate to his sire specifically but hm the most general one...

other than the aforementioned To Modern Science which is the more positive one... but 2 explain why i think it relates to his relationship w his clan i would say that its because he does have some pride in tremere being the ones that seem to be researching and improving rather than just being hedonists or money grabbers LMFAO even if he realizes most of em are selfish about it and that some of the older ones do seem to stagnate and only care about prestige, theres still something there and thats the part he likes.

Spellbound is a CLASSIC Tremere song but it fits how the elders in the tremere really throw their weight around to the poor younger apprencties (we play in 2000 so the pyramid is v intact)

-

as for the second question... it got long but i promise if u care its a v good song

Uh I Might have a whole playlist just for just mark and sampson (FEEL FREE 2 ASK ABOUT THAT...) :v the ones on mark's personal playlist are abt how he feels abt sampson and not like mutual relationship sooooo actually let me get one from the mark x sampson playlist:

these lyrics are just too good literally almost all of them are perfect. if you know abt mark and sampson read the lyrics first b4 u read mine and just see how perfect it is. anyway let me explain now. let me go insane for a bit. ready?

Every time you get a drink/ And every time you go to sleep/ Are those dreams inside your head?/ Is that sunlight on your bed?

ok FIRST OFF Theres a whole THING about how Mark can't remember his dreams anymore, and also with Sampson being SUPER CAGEY about if Kyle shows up in his dreams. And then obviously the dual meaning with drinking with sampson getting drunk and/or mark drinking blood. and then with the sunlight - idk theres something but i cant articulate it.

moving on

Every time you're driving home/ Way outside your safety zone/ Wherever you will ever be/ You're never getting rid of me.

Mark has gone sooo much out of his comfort zone into really dangerous spots but he always came home or let sampson know he was and one time he didnt and he got really nervous :( anyway now we are getting to the main crux of the song which is owning/being owned and being stuck. So with the blood bond and the ghoul, sampsons kinda stuck. you cant forget about kindred society once ya know it, and he isnt about to leave mark for another kindred domintor LOL. So. Never getting rid of him. But ALSO Mark isn't about to let him go either...

You own me/ There's nothing you can do/ You own me

Mark LITERALLY by Camarilla law owns sampson basically :( very fucked. and he has to to keep him safe. rogue ghouls get killed in detroit.

You could've made a safer bet/ But what you break is what you get/ You wake up in the bed you make/ I think you made a big mistake

few diff ways to interpret it, but Mark does worry he has made mistakes in the way he's handled everything. But he's stuck where he is now! And even if Mark isn't the one who broke sampson, sampson is a broken person.

Skipping the second chorus.. only new thing is "Lucky you"... THEN THE FUCKING BRIDGE.

You clean yourself to meet/ A man who isn't me/ You're putting on a shirt/ A shirt I'll never see/ The letter's in your coat/ And no one's in your head/ 'Cause you're too smart to remember/ You're too smart/

Lucky you/ Lucky you/ Lucky you

Besties the LAYERS here.

I interpret this is Mark cleaning himself up/putting on a persona for Julius who mark wants to make sure sampson never meets. but mark cares a lot about julius due to blood bond. anyway. Then the SECOND part starting with And No One's in your head is about SAMPSOn cause MARK has Julius in his head, but sampson doesnt have anyone afaik, AND Sampson has memory problems....

and they're both stuck w each other and. Mark would definitely be sarcastic and be like "well i guess you're stuck with me, lucky you" but really sampson IS lucky that mark is still trying to be a decent guy - sampson def deserves even better but just statistically many kindred become awful and ksadjflksajf this song is so perf thanks if u read sm

[salt-volk]

genuine question: why does dv hate it's "rich" users so much? is it just bc it's a smaller website so they're more visible? or, smaller, so the complaints are more visible?

i've been on plenty of other game sites w a mega rich minority that have access to any n all resources & can skate through the game with out ever having to grind or do much & can basically generate wealth forever just on their assets, but i've never seen as much hostility n outrage over it as I do on dv (tho maybe just lookin in the wrong places). 

before customs, i was already pissed off at ppl who spent hundreds of irl dollars to buy turnip shit n flip it for potatoes, & ppl who got fucking filthy rich offsite trading shit w fr, whatever, who get to just breeze through the game n sit on their trove of ks shit & what have you. but that's just a part of it. i think i already came to terms w the vast inequality.

after customs opened, i just didn't really care abt ppl profiting off customs, bc it's all just more of the same shit, just tune it out n move on w playing the game, just like on every other site where the same shit happens. 

like, a huge majority of the ppl profiting off of customs now, originally got the potatoes they used to spin the customs from offsite trading & selling turnip chests for potatoes. rich users were able to spin for more customs bc they were already rich. they didn't even need to sell their shitty items to make them that way.

i get the difference between ppl selling customs vs. other get rich quick shit is that at least w the other ways you have to spend rlc (whether on dv or fr), & w customs you don't technically have to (though you def spent rlc to have the potatoes to roll your custom in the first place lol, so its still the asshole who are rich irl moving it into the digital space, as always, like every other game) but.. idk....

i'm not even making a good point here i'm just venting lmao, like i really don't give a shit how the rich are getting richer, bc if it wasn't customs it'd just be another thing. every site has to have it's whales, that's what largely funds the shit. every game will give at least a slight (usually more) advantage to their paying players, since with out them the game would die.

if rich fucks want to spend their entire paycheck buying turnip shit to trade for other shit in hope of winning a custom & printing potatoes for themselves that are largely useless anyway bc none of the items on site even retain value then like.. sure.. i spend too much mental energy fighting for my basic equality irl, i can't also extend mental effort to get worked up over every instance of pixel inequality on dumbass websites where said inequality is just built in as a feature bc that's that nature of games (at least of this genre, ones that are funded by the players).

sometimes it just has to be like... yea i'm never going to own a single ks item or get these 5 custom pets which are ugly as shit anyway, n that's totally fine. i'm at peace w that. i also hate the "rich" folk, but if i'm going to play these types of games, that's just something i'll always have to put up w, & i'm mostly at a place where i can ignore it n enjoy the games anyway. 

as a f2p player of course i want things to be more equal for us, but when are they ever????? where is one game that ppl can't still spend irl cash to get a huge resource advantage???? why is DV considered so different? bc the shitty custom system adds like 10% more inequality than other sites?? the only true equality would be to ban ppl spending rlc on game sites in general so they can't just leap ahead w an unfair advantage (the dream tbh, fuck 'em), but then no game would ever get funding. favoring the whales is just how it works.

and, i thought everyone felt this way. like all ppl who play website games like this just understand this n are kinda at this place of peace w the whole thing. that's just how games like this are. so, it's strange after being in the dv community a while n seeing that its like some huge point of contention here... why is dv considered as some outlier to everyone????

[ibelieveinghost]

4/7/24

up-dates!!!

1st off!: got my visa!!! finally!!!!!! actually, i got it on Wednesday but never found the energy to write here haha. oh! i graduated on Friday too and somehow talked the school into refunding the rest of the tuition. so everything went great in the end.

but seriously. i haven't write in so long, and i'll try my best this morning(rainy Sunday vibes yay!) to cover as much as possible. ok moving on---

i've been drawing/sketching on and off, and it sorta feels like a habit. lighthearted efforts and ease, something i rarely experience w/ making art since...since high school.

i've been updating more consistently on my blogs/twitter now. i got some response. some. not as much as one'd wish haha. but honestly, i felt so grateful that people are liking my stuff.

on the other hand, the job hunting has been going... well it has been going! not a ton of jobs being posted out there since early March, and i'm starting to realize that i'm only pretending to be really wanting certain positions. i got so accustomed to idea of working as a researcher/scientist, but. man. wasn't that why i left school in the first place, that i fucking hate it despite pouring ~10 years of my life into it and seemed to be going somewhere. having bright prospects and all. now that i knew. well. i need a little more time to think and un-think, to not rush ahead, and be complete honest w/ myself. getting the visa means i got all the time i want. so again, all worked out in the best way possible.

oh yea! birthday coming up in couple weeks! woo hoo! been planning a little overnight trip somewhere! probably 軽井沢 or 伊豆高原. idk! haven't gone anywhere not Tokyo/Yokohama since early Jan, and traveling alone is totally my thing! actually, growing older is so much cooler than i'd thought when i was in my early 20s. but like. past me: imagining feeling more grounded, taking things less seriously, and being more in tune with urself.

ok! dumping some photos seem like a good way to continue:

(reverse chronological order)

(コメダ I literally come here everyday now lol)

(graduation cert came with a bear! + my lamys... i'm not collecting them! they're super easy to write to write with and i adore the bright neon colors that's it!)

( i went to the 4D special viewing of prisoner of Azkaban and man---it worked so well w/ the 4D format. i mean it is the rainy/icy snowy one of the 8, so a lot of spraying water on your face situations! i was wearing a wide grin the whole time i guess. it was so much fun. that being said, i def shed a few tears near the end when harry realized no one's coming to save the two of em, so he stepped out and did what he didn't even know he's capable of. a scene my younger self never managed to relate to. but it def resonates now.

i love this movie so much, probably my fav out of all of them. watched it at the theater w/ dad when i was probably in...middle school or younger?)

(awww)

(the day i got my visa)

(date w/ S!)

(dinner later that night, w/ the gang)

(us, acting a little stupidly ha + interesting cards i took from the bar)

(last Sunday)

(the komeda near ogikubo station, it went all orange that day + cute lil book i might come back and buy later)

(the night i last hang out w/ A)

damn we're reaching the 30 photo/post limit

so guess that's that! i'm coming back to wrap up this epic photo dump soon(later today)

it felt so nice to just recounting my life, sharing all the bits and pieces on one had ever asked for. to me, it's a cute and ultimately therapeutic thing to do. my future self must be thanking me for taking the time to record everything haha.

anyway! see ya soon!

[e2019]

anyone got any idea why i (USAmerican located in a major city) called 911 but no one ever came? is it possibly because i just dialed the number, pressed the call button, then didn't interact with my phone again in any way at all until after the call was over? no idea how/why the call end btw cuz i'm pretty sure i didn't do that, but also i was so out of it i almost thought i might have either dreamed/hallucinated calling 911 or perhaps dialed the wrong number, bc i also remember my vision was so fuckin blurry i had a really difficult time trying to unlock my phone, find the phonecall app, navigate to the number pad, and enter 911 (shaking so badly + couldnt hardly read so for all i knew it could just as easily have dialed like 877 or something like that).

also, fun fact is you can tell i must have been fucked all the way out of my mind because i would have called 999 instead if i had been at all able to think straight. like, to put into perspective just how dire these straits must have been, just know that in the past when people called 911 for me, the very first thing i did when i came back to (still unable to move or remember anything or think/speak clearly etc) was to berate them for not calling 999 instead.

anyways, that was my first time calling 911, so i'm not personally intimately familiar with the exact process. however other people have called 911 for me multiple times (always with an arrival time of like 5-10min give or take fwiw), and from what they recounted to me of the event(s), i know the first thing that happens after you dial/call 911 is you get an automated menu with… idr how many choices, but i know it's at least 2 (something like “press 1 for police” or “press 2 for ems” & now that i think of it, i'd bet there might also be something like “press 3 for fire department” too maybe, idk). anyways, the point i'm trying to make here is i wonder if maybe the call automatically gets dropped (almost as if it had never been placed to begin with) if you don't select any input(s) at that menu?

another possibility i just thought of rn is maybe 911 did come out to my general area, but they weren’t able to pinpoint my exact location? i notice that gps devices tend to struggle to pick up on any detailed data in this neighborhood that i recently moved to, like you often can't even see any houses or streets, nada. on top of that, i now live in a duplex which i can only imagine must be the world's most confusing construction of its kind because 9/10 delivery people are unable to find my side of the place. you'd think 911 would be equipped with more advanced technology, or at the very least that they'd put some real thorough effort into their search for an emergency, but idk maybe not.

man i even remember stumbling over to the front door, barely able to walk, to unlock the damn thing so that the police/ems wouldn't have to kick the door down or whatever in order to get in. i really did NOT wanna have to pay to fix or replace the door/locks/frame or whatever lol. literally this was incredibly urgent to me, even during what i genuinely believed may very well be my very last couple of seconds or minutes Alive here on this earth. uh huh, proud to say i am certifiably to remain a cheap bastard right up until my bitter end. that's 1 of maybe 2 total good qualities that i inherited from my father, so i'll take it!

Any ways, moving on to my next point of confusion, i'm sure we've all seen how in the movies sometimes if a character gets seriously injured or w/e, then uses up all of their remaining strength to call 911 before passing out without ever hanging up the phone or making any noise loud enough so as to be audible to the 911 operator, well it doesn't matter bc 911 is able to trace the location of the call, and they show up anyways just to check everything out at least. for ex: i recently watched the ep of sopranos (end of s5/start of s6, idr exactly?) where tony gets shot and then both he & 911 do exactly as i described above.

i asked my mom about all of this, and she just seemed to get a little mad at me and said "911 always comes no matter what. you must have been hallucinating. why didn't you call me instead. i would have been over there right away if you called me but didnt say anything." well my call log sure don't lie do it mother fucker!

well, to wrap this up, in hindsight i am actually really fuckin glad that nothing came of this. still now i'm gonna always wonder what if i really had been unable to recover without medical assistance that day? it just doesn't seem right to me that if you're so unwell that you're physically incapable of speaking or seeing or controlling your fine motor functions well enough & for long enough to get thru the 911 door boss, then it's too fuckin bad for you, your sorry ass is gonna get left to die like a dog convulsing & gasping on the floor in a pool of your own sweat, piss, shit, tears, mucosa, & whatever else i can't all remember. i mean come on, if you can tell 911 your location & describe your emergency, then it can't really be all THAT urgent, now can it?

and now i'm always gonna have that in the back of my mind, wondering what if something bad ever happens to me in the future, but i don't get so lucky again? all i know is what happened to me the other day would have been such a horrible death to die, and that's not even to mention the equally horrible state in which my body would have been found (common paranoia of mine btw, y'all don't even wanna know how many times i've found myself trying to decide whether it'd be more humiliating to die in the shower or on the toilet like elvis. i typically seem to prefer the shower/bath tub personally. how about y'all? weigh in in the comments below, and let's settle this once & for all! please god, before it's too late for me).

however & whenever i die, this experience has left me hoping that i will, at The very least, not be aware enough of anything whatever might be happening to me for any such panicked & ashamed thoughts the likes of which ran thru my head so uncontrollably that scarcely any of them were fully comprehensible at the time. i tried to imagine just how wild of a case study some doctors might write about my death, the kind of thing you read & say to yourself, "i can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to try that in the first place," or perhaps something along those lines.

but looking back on it, let's just say one thing i learned is that if the events of the other day serve as any indication at all, then what i'll regret more than anything when (and if) i'm old & laying down to die in my death bed when my life suddenly flashes before my eyes will be neither some cliche like "missed opportunities" nor any of the plethora of poor life choices that i've made (not to mention all those that i likely have yet to make). my biggest regret is bigger than any of that. that i now must live with the memory for the rest of my days (however many or few i may have left is anyone's guess, apparently) is a fate worse than death, despite the fact that i was the sole witness (and hardly a true "witness" at that, considering that i was at least halfway blind and more than halfway out of my fucking mind thru it all) to the event.

i'm deeply ashamed to admit this, but i keep no secrets here on my tumblr blog, so here it is: my biggest regret is shitting my pants and then calling 911 without first taking a shower. thank fucking god no one came to check on my call. i think i genuinely may have died that day had that happened, of embarrassment that is. if not, certainly would have been suicide at my next available opportunity. there's some shit (pun intended, of course, haha) in this life you just can't ever come back from.

[seven-thewanderer]

Okay so since idk how much of today I'll be able to spend as a "final day before I'm gone for 2 whole months (and then return for just a week & disappear again" imma do some stuff I wanted to do later today

but instead early today

So firsty, since this is a very important part, I love all of you!!! Of course platonically, but I still love you all!! I feel like you guys have been there for me plenty while I was here, and all the friends I made I'm happy to have made them!! Sure, I lost some friends (kinda), and I'm sad about that, but I just hope those friends are having amazing times still!!! But still, to the friends I still have, and also to the followers (since I feel like I don't type it enough but it's still true:), I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

And then the second thing (which isn't as important but I still wanna list it):

Since I'll be gone, if there's peeps who still wanna see my stuff, but there won't be an update to my blog since I'll be gone, here are some main tags that I use:

Random Post This tag is for when I just say stuff that's random, like this for example. So kinda little rambles from me, but they don't often have art with it

My Art This tag's more main than the Random Post tag (idk why I didn't do this one first), but it has all of my art, even from my first(?) ever post!! Though you could go all the way back, you don't really have to, as it has things like when I drew Sun & Moon as pokemon, my first ever drawings of my Sun & Moon Bug AU (which to me it did not look that good back then), my FNAF(SB) Parts & Service ocs (Known as Pax & Simon) who I never drew again (I will at some point trust me-), some old Sun & Moon designs, and even my old intro!! So it's kinda like a memory lane if you think about it, buuut it's a long lane so you don't have to XD

Random Reblog + Random Art Reblog These are my reblog tags!! One is mainly just for random reblogs, and the other is just for art reblogs, which can include drawings, paintings, music, and I'm pretty sure photography (i don't remember exactly what I reblogged but I'm pretty sure I reblogged photography at least once w/ the random art reblog tag). Again, these would be long scrolls, so you wouldn't have to go through all of em

Important Reblog + Important These tags are for important things, and things that either I find as helpful for others to know, things that I believe are important, things that aren't important but I've listed as important (which I think I've done that at least 3 times and I'm sorry), and things that others say are important so I just list em as important. That last one's the most common. Most of the time I'll tag things with both tags, but sometimes I tag things just with the important tag, and less commonly I'll reblog it with just the important reblog tag.

Now not as main tags:

Tag Game This one i don't know if I tag tag games as that oftenly, so if I do, then this tag'll lead to those I did tag as such.

Asks (+ Ask Game) This is for when I get asks (that's the asks tag), and also for when I see an ask game & hope to get asks for that (both the asks tag & ask game tag). However, I don't always get asks, or at least I don't get them as often as I see/assume others do, but there's 4 invisible ones in my inbox that I'm still sorry about not being able to see... (also I know I can just change what I said, but imma leave the last part & add that I actually have more asks than I thought I did, I just never looked at them all collectively before, so thanks to all of you that sent asks!! <3)

Sun & Moon AUs (+ that one SAMS AU) This tag is mainly for the Sun & Moon related AUs I have (one of which being a Sun and Moon Show AU if I'm not mistaken), but it includes ones like my Bug! AU (which was once just tagged as Bug AU), Slime! AU, Pastry! AU, Celestial Bard! AU, Lost! AU, Witch! AU, Celestial Inn! AU, Toyshop! AU, Celestial Tasks! AU (also called RPG! AU), Fortune Teller! AU, Unisatyr! AU, and specifically for the SAMS AU tag, Different! AU (which we do not talk about Different! AU cus I honestly forgot I even made it until just now XD)

Treats! AU This tag, which sadly didn't get too much stuff made for it, is a tag for a QSMP Au I randomly was doing, where everyone was a form of treat/snack. I wish I got more time on it, but for now there is a little bit of ideas sitting there for it

Clowns This tag should be avoided if you have a fear of clowns, but this is the tag for my clown ocs from a little circus I made up known as Bunzy's circus!! Of course Bunzy's the ring master, but there's more characters (who do not have names yet), who are a Clown Rat, a Clown Dog, a Clown Cat, a Clown Bear (who is a teddy bear), and a Clown Spider

My Ocs This tag is for ocs of mine. There's not really much to it, it's just my ocs.

Sona/Sonas These tags are for my different Sonas, like Seven (the main Sona of this blog), Silly, Tabby (who currently has been listed as dead), Chromey, Swii, Phon, and that Pirahna Plant sona I never got the chance to draw again (they never got a tag specific to them but they're known as Berry). There's technically another Sona, but they never got a tag on this blog, as they're the sona for my side blog, which I'll bring up later

rant this is a tag I prefer to forget, but it is a tag, so I will not ignore it. This is for the chance that I rant about something, which I don't like to rant about stuff that happens for me. So this could be a tag to avoid if yall want (there's only like... 4 posts? But still)

💖/<3 These tags are hard to follow, but these are tags for when I heart something a lot. It's like a show of affection. The <3 tag was more of a backup when I couldn't put the sparkle heart emojis, but now they both coexist. There's mainly more than one, but sometimes there's just 1 (idk how to work this one, so I guess just try & slightly up the amount of hearts to find other tags? idk sorry...)

Extra tags:

I'm not gonna link these ones, but these are tags that I've drawn stuff for, but aren't really special tags of mine, and this includes tags like:

FNAF (Five Night's at Freddy's)

AAF (Andy's Apple Farm)

Fandroid/Fandroid the Musical Robot

QSMP

TWOMP (The World of Mr Plant)

Gen Loss (Generation Loss)

Diep.Io

Rainworld

SAMS (Sun and Moon Show)

Deltarune

Undertale

Roblox T2D/Roblox T2D DCO (Roblox Try to Die/Roblox Try to Die DCO)

Cookie Run

Sussy Schoolgrounds

Pokemon (+ Fakemon)

Now some of these I only did once (TWOMP, Diep.Io, Rainworld, Undertale, Roblox T2D, and Fakemon), but some got at least 2 or more (Fandroid, Deltarune, Pokemon, and Sussy Schoolgrounds got just 2 I think)

But yeah, I think that gets the tags outta the way now

Now as an extra thing to bring up, I do have a side blog, which is specifically for a lil thing I made/am working on...

...and it's about a little furry(?) species I made called Floserds!!

however

Please don't just go & follow the blog because it's my side blog, I mainly just want that blog to be followed if it's because someone's actually interested in that species idea I made.

But as a summary, it's a species of flower (and herb) cows called Floserds (Flos is latin for Flower, if im not mistaken, and the -erds part is just the word herds without the h), and most of the info I've worked on/am working on is on that blog

That blog's also run by my fursona, Chamomile, who is a Floserd!!

But yeah that blog's known as @floserd-theflowercows, and you could technically follow it, but only if you're actually interested in the concept, not just due to association

But yeah I guess this might be it, and if I get the chance to say goodbye before I have to go, then I'll say goodbye, let you guys know that I love you (which I do) (platonically), and then either link back to this post, or just copy + paste the important stuff

But yeah in case this post is really my goodbye (for now), then I love you all, I'll miss you, and I'll (assumably) see you guys again in November!!!!!

💖

[tflaw]

ngl everything thoma related rlly just gets me blushing giggling n twirling my hair like .. HAJSSK i am soooo normal abt him ava i totally do not read thoma fics before i sleep i swear to god !! 🙏 if u say he sings YES HE DOES !! HE IS PERFECT

+ one thing that rlly amplified my curiosity abt dottore is what nahida said abt him ngl !! iirc she said "he never felt a sense of belonging" and "he never made peace w himself" which is probably why the segments he himself made dont get along despite all of them being him in different timelines :(( quite sad if u ask me but he did so many irredeemable stuff so ... 💀💀 im very curious abt him and how dottore became dottore fr !! i need more dottore lore hmrnhmr

+ pls i was scared of keqing too 💔 but i managed !! she is sooo worth getting she's amazing <33 now im kinda playing around w summons !! i used fischl, collei, and xiangling together and it was fun !! it's just the summons doing all the work for u 😭

+ oooh good luck !! the inside of that artifact domain is sooo pretty i dont mind camping in there HSJA i hope u get better rolls fr bc getting def over and over is just straight up disheartening :// literally happened to both of nahida and thoma's em circlets pls seeing it hurts me sm that i went back to the gilded domain LMAO but clearing it up has been waaay easier now that my burgeon team is coming together !! i once cleared it under 40 secs and im like huh ?? they're all underleveled ?? 😭 i still havent resolved thoma's energy issues though so i'll have to work on that aaa he better cooperate w me rn i am on my knees begging

+ nauurr i hope u get satisfactory results though !! may not be perfect but at least it's not bad !! get ur mind to rest and take a break for now ♥️ u deserve it

i don’t blame u thoma is so babygirl !! idk i just have this feeling that he somehow can belt these songs and it’s so attractive to me <33

+ he’s got a closet full of bones and a curiosity thats never been sated !! we know pierro got him to join the harbingers but i wanna know what his life was before??? i think we’re getting it in a few patches !! hopefully though bcos im so excited for his lore :,))

+ help diluc and ayaka have been saving my ass in tcg !! i played a bit last night and i managed to beat xingqui + diluc !! i need to work on my supports’ cards but i’m slowly building them up. it rly all depends on the summons 😭 like luckily i got wgs and crimson witch for diluc almost every time and he does so well w melt ugh 😩

+ it is!! but it takes me a while to finish it since i don’t bring kazuha anymore for cc <//3 and i wanna level up layla’s friendship lvl!! i manage to farm enough for her last night and she’s lvl 70 :,)) i wish there was an f2p option for her weapon w hp stats bcos im never gonna pull for the key of khaj-nisut <//3 i got crit dmg circlet from kuni’s set but… 3x it rolled in def so <//3 i just know that domain will be hell since i haven’t got a decent piece— not even a flower!! when i usually get decent flower every time i farm a domain for the first time !! also good luck on ur burgeon team!! 40 seconds is amazing :,)) thoma’s rly shining ever since sumeru !! i hope you better rng on ur artifacts farming <33

+ thank you!! i just wanna relax and worry about it tbh i know i did decent so i’m quite confident :,))

[madisonbeersource]

if you had to describe the astrological signs with madison's Life Support's songlist, which one you would say would describe the signs best ? i hope you understand what I mean ahh, happy new year !!!!!

I TOOK AGES (2 days to be exact....) but I HOPE you like how i represented your sign (TW: it's not because i gave a song to a sign that the song define YOU, it defines your signs overral ACCORDING TO ME, MY EXPERIENCES W THE SIGNS AND WHAT I SEE OF THEIR PERSONALITY)

Aries - Follow the white rabbit : To me, you aries are so bold and ready for any adventure, and you wouldn't hesitate much to follow the white rabbit and take us on a crazy but amazing journey. You're never lacking of new ideas. You're also very competitive from what i experienced, so this confidence is really giving off FTWR vibes!

Taurus - Good In Goodbye : you guys are represented by the bull ....do I need any explanation? lmaoo no fr if you guys have a bit of a tendency to burst into anything, you also never leave things unsaid and people alone if they do you wrong. If they break your promise? It's a good ol' good in goodbye and you let your anger out to give them the best middle finger thinking you don't have enough of em for this one person haha. You're also lil psychos but i love you so much so (the mv also speaks to me a lot for you guys ngl.)

Gemini - Blue : "I was always blue behind the red blood stain on my lip" Do i need to elaborate? you guys are PROS in blending in, which is a GOOD QUALITY TO HAVE, even if you have some tendencies to be a lil bit hypocrites it's most of the time out of "i don't wanna break them so i hold back" despite what other thinks...I see you all as people that just want the best for everyone, and you are always fighting the urge to say what u think and to hold back to not hurt, sooo sometimes you guys mix up and u're like...ops i wasn't completely honest and now i'm paying for it. so blue is really you guys, hiding yourself and what u truly feel.

Cancer - Selfish : CANCER MY EMOTIONAL LIL CRABS!! istg i haven't seen more emotional than you guys....it's crazy, you crying alone in your shower is really THE mood right? but that's what i love about you, your ability to just connect with your emotions, it makes me wanna connect to mine, you guys' ability to radiate whatever emotion is just so poetic, cancers are so poetic and so is selfish, a breaking song with a powerful message between the lines, that's who you are to me. you're too emotional for me to be continuously around you but honestly when i wanna have a strong emotional time, i know who to call.

Leo - Baby : my little divas, ya'll just so confident and funny, you're literally such drama queens & yet i've never seen anyone being more down to earth. my mom is leo (...at least that's what we think...since we don't know her real birthdate) BUT she's my lil hyper queen and ya'll should be treated like the queens/kings ya'll are & baby is honestly you're anthem i don't wanna hear anything else about it.

Virgo - Sour time : I LOVE TALKING W/ VIRGOS cause they've this logical and quick way of thinking, like they are SO SMART, so i picture them singing sour time, which is a song that is smartly written and u need a double listen to understand what it means. LIKE they literally can see right through someone's intention which is also a quality that I recognize in Aquariuses.

Libra - Everything Happens For A Reason : I feel like libras have this sweet nostalgy to yourself which makes u the most romantic beings ever. You're like the most sweet song at the end of a good movie idk you guys makes me feel so good about myself if that make sense and this song has the same vibe.

Scorpio - BOYSHIT : do u need more info about how scorpio could just kill somebody for the sake of it? hahaha jk i love u scorpios but you guys are kinda scary..which speaks to my inner self ngl lmao but i mean you guys give off the same energy as BOYSHIT, which means don't test me cause i'll end u w/o moving from my throne

Sagittarius: stay numb and carry on : Once you betray a sagittarius? THEY MOVE THE HECK ON and GOOD for them honestly no one has time to handle people's bs bc society is telling us to do, you don't live in YOUR world, you live in a sagittariuse's one! and i love that for them. they just stay numb to the bs and move on to greater people & even more greater things

Capricorn - Stained Glass : Capricorn are literally born to win anything they involve themselves into, they will do anything to obtain the top 1 and no matter if they lose some feathers along the way, you'll never see through their scars cause they're strong enough to go on with the deepest scars and smile in the end. I see them as some of the toughest people!

Aquarius - Homesick : they're the most underrated, rarest and most complicated minds to ever exist, they're misunderstood and yet they don't really care? cause in the end, they're the smartest people and they're mostly right most of the time even if it's annoying cuz they're aware of it too much. Once they believe in something nothing can break that. They're also SO open minded which makes them the companion of a lifetime since they'll NEVER judge you. but they're also some emotionless mf and i love it that way.

Pisces - Effortlessly : "Sadness isn't real, then why's it feel so physical?" ....do we need to elaborate? emotions flows in them like a river and i think they're emotionally geniuses, they have the widest spectrum of emotion and sometimes they drown in it and they don't really know how to feel and what to feel, which ends up in absorbs emotions of others and their own like sponges and explodes, but i envy your magic, and effortlessly has magic in the way they portray emotion in a powerful yet quiet ballad!

[mymarifae]

you likely suspected i would be coming in here w opinions on ur deltamess au. so. here i am bc i do be thinking the brain is moving a hundred miles a minute. for one, fucking f’s in the chat for asgore. got handed two MAJOR L’s this round. we’ll get em next time, boys! but also oh my god poor kris. NOT ONLY are they dealing w the divorce, but now their big brother is just GONE. AND ASGORES SICK TOO???? LIKE. GODDAMN. SOMEONE GIVE THAT KID A CHOCOLATE BAR AND A NAP. getting hit left and right with some serious mental scarring that would just cause them to probably fold in on themselves even more (going from the quiet weird kid to just the weird kid bc they like. don’t talk. ever.)

also i like how you phrased berdly as being “widely disliked” bc i think him being swapped w susie would kind of turn his arrogance into a more palpable aggression. like berdly isn’t concerned with competition. he KNOWS he’s the best (he isn’t—but he’ll force himself to believe it) and he will DEFINITELY remind you. the kind of arrogance that just reeks of insecurity but in a way that most would not sympathize with. and i like the specific phrasing of susie being “banned from all spelling bees” bc i personally think the reason is her and berdly got into a fight. bc susie in this universe is Actively trying to keep her grades afloat (borrowing some of normal berdlys tenacity and perseverance with her own aggressive nature) but she just struggles. so her and berdly bump heads a lot and i think the spelling bee is just where shit got messy.

(the reason berdly didn’t get banned as well is bc he still looks like. well. berdly. and so they just Assumed susie started it. even tho she didn’t)

but i just like. ohhh my goddd i love this i love aus. usually deltaswap aus make me -__- bc i lived through the underswap era and Know how unoriginal people can be. but there’s just so much HERE so much care put into who is getting put where and why that i oghhhhh love it. this was probably too long anyways HGNBD

HI MICHELLE!!!!!!

KRIS IS GOING THROUGH A LOT YEAH. i'm balancing it out with the fact that susie has pretty much always been their best friend :) they're not as withdrawn as you might think! still quiet, still weird, still private about a lot of things, still a little menace and they've got susie being a menace right along with them <3

your idea for the spelling bee is good... works perfectly and i was considering something similar when i was thinking about going for something not so silly. i still might double back on it But. she's actually banned from spelling bees because she signs up, gets up on stage, and proudly spells FUCK and instantly disqualifies herself. she did this for three years in a row before they got sick of her shit and banned her permanently

...maybe that's just what she tells people but the real reason is closer to what you described? idk! i'll get to kris and susie's Stuff once i have a feel for "chapter 1" and can start planning chapter 2 in earnest. we'll see what i settle on >:)

she does put a little more effort into school but she's more of the class clown type. she gets undyne off topic and wastes class time and everyone loves her for it. she and kris may not be top of the class in terms of grades but they're definitely kind of the most popular? hard 2 explain.

for berdly it was interesting because like. we still don't know what susie's situation is 🤔 so that made the whole "characters personalities stay the same while their circumstances swap" idea a little hard. but we're just going to go with the assumption that susie recently moved to hometown and it's hard adjusting to life in an itty bitty town where everyone has known each other all their lives...

it's kinda like. ok so berdly, if he had never found school and grades as something to base his personality around and pull a sort of False confidence from. he never got the courage to put himself out there. no praise to go to his head. that whole "forgettable bluebird" thing remains his norm, and he just withdraws more and more and grows more sullen

eventually, like susie, he does turn towards acting out in a more aggressive way. that mindset of "ok if people are going to avoid me for no reason i'm going to give them a reason at least." it's one way to gain back a little control of their lives... like susie, it's not like he's actually a bully but any attempts to talk to him do not go well LOL. there's a few rumors floating around about him being involved in some fights... but it's not like anyone can get a confirmation or denial out of him

he also doesn't put any effort into school. or like. anything. he ditches most of the time. like, "no one notices so WHO CARES. i mean i care actually i care a lot. but i'm going to pretend i do not." he's still weirdly arrogant about it though..?? or he tries to be. at some point noelle asks him why he's never in class and he spouts some nonsense about how smart he is and how great his grades would be and that if he worked to his full potential it would "make the rest of the class feel hopelessly inferior." and noelle's like ? what

berdly: i believe i was quite clear?

noelle: if you're so good why don't you like. ever prove it...?

berdly:

berdly:

berdly: shut the fuck- i'm going back to clover's team

he's <3 a jerk. but much like meeting lancer is a turning point for susie, meeting clover sparks a neat little change inside him...