#idk when I’ll FULLY be able to commit to this

[myokk]

fast sketch of ominis & fast intro to the ominis longfic I'm working on!! This is going to be the most self-indulgent pride and prejudice ripoff that ever existed, 100% based on the ominis of my oneshot💘

I am just OBSESSED with exploring the idea that he’s a natural legilimens & OBSESSED with the thought that he thinks too much for his own good🫶🫶🫶

Ominis Gaunt has always suspected he is cold-blooded.

It makes sense, really.

He always seems to be cold: frigid, long fingers that are often stiff and difficult to move; goosebumps raising the skin of his arms and the back of his neck any time he walks through the drafty halls of the dungeons; even his eyes, he has been told, are reminiscent of ice. They are apparently quite unsettling. The only time he feels comfortable in his body is when he basks in the heat of the sun.

His earliest memory is of the cold. It went like this: he was four years old: his older brother, Marvolo, had led him outside as a joke, he swore up and down that it was just a small joke, and how was he supposed to know that poor, blind Ominis would not be able to find his way back home? When his parents had finally found him, his frail mother sobbing and holding his tiny, blue, hypothermic body to her chest, Ominis remembers feeling quite perturbed at the disturbance. Couldn’t he just be left alone, in the silent soft snow?

He does not know if he has ever felt warm since.

As he strides through the dungeons, the copious amount of warming charms he casts on himself do not seem to be enough, but he keeps casting them anyways and also: wrapping his wool scarf more tightly around his neck, quickening his pace in the hopes that blood flows more easily through his limbs, wishing that he had remembered his gloves. Winter is always a terrible time of year (this winter more terrible than usual), and every breath of warm air leaves his lips reluctantly. How he wishes that he could just hold on to it a bit longer and yet the warmth leaves him precisely fifteen traitorous times a minute, the frigid air gleefully entering and burning its way down his throat in response. Maybe it’s a punishment of some sort.

His whole life has been defined by punishments and sometimes he preoccupies himself with the thought that it is the only way he can view the world. Most of the punishments are manifested in curses inherited from his family. (His parents and Marvolo insist that they are gifts, but Ominis begs to differ.)

First, his blindness: the only true punishment-curse that even his family rejects: caused by inbreeding, no doubt. He did not cry after his birth and his mother cradled his tiny body in silent arms, lovingly whispering nonsense-evil-Parseltongue to him but when he opened his eyes and she saw a brilliant celestine blue with no iris, she screamed in horror and shattered the frigid peace of the room. His parents tried everything to fix him, make him whole, throwing money at various possible solutions to no avail. Magically induced disabilities are not, apparently, curable by magic.

Ominis is not sure that he hates being blind, although he suspects everyone thinks that he should. It is as much a part of him as his fifteen-breaths-per-minute, and he thinks that vision is not all it’s cracked up to be. He is always terrified at the thought that his tenuous hold on sanity is only due to the fact that he cannot see, until he realizes he shouldn’t be terrified of hypothetical situations that cannot come to pass. He consoles himself with the thought that maybe, if he has had to give up his vision for his sanity, it is a small price to pay. Although, he also thinks sometimes that it would be nice to live a life without any morality holding him back.

He is entirely too introspective, after all.

It is precisely this introspection that is his downfall in this moment (and his cold blood). Ominis is so busy casting warming charms on himself and thinking in circles that he cannot use his wand to help him sense his environment and so he should not be surprised when he crashes into her.

And yet he is. Terribly surprised.

Maybe if he were not so caught up in his own thoughts he could have paid more attention to his surroundings. Instead, he spent too much time ruminating on his reptilian heritage and has now barreled head first into his arch-nemesis.

Rosalie Harris.

The girl who has stolen his oldest friend from him.

The girl who is currently making angry noises as she clambers to her feet and is picking up the things that he has crashed everywhere. Even if he could see, Ominis is not sure he would help her. Helping her would be akin to betraying himself, after all.

“Hey! Watch where you’re - oh, hello, Ominis.”

“Rosalie,” he says shortly, nodding his head where he thinks she might be standing and stepping to the side. He tightens his grip around his wand, feeling the texture of the wood change from rough to smooth as he runs his thumb down it. Smooth where he always seems to worry it, rough where the wood refuses to yield to the brushes of his thumb.

He surreptitiously casts the spell - he has at least done it so many times he no longer needs to say it out loud - and his surroundings light up. Or, he supposes that is the most apt description, considering he cannot actually differentiate between light and dark. He senses Rosalie’s silhouette to his left - she is standing with her arms crossed and her foot taps impatiently as she waits for him.

Waiting for what? he thinks, slightly irritated. She never seems to leave him alone and he wracks his brain trying to think of something, anything he can say to get rid of her.

Maybe if he speaks in Parseltongue, she would finally be scared away for good. He does not really want that second reminder of his family’s curse, though.

His family preferred speaking in Parseltongue with each other, believing the ability made them morally superior to everyone else and Ominis had not even realized until he had arrived at Hogwarts that no, it was not normal. When his name had been called at the Sorting, furious whispers had erupted amongst all the students, and his every step (terrified, confused, unsure - he had still been getting used to using his wand to navigate his surroundings) to the stool at the front of the Great Hall was plagued with a susurration reminiscent of snakes. Except these whispers, sneaking their way into his mind, had been unkind and overwhelming.

(He had not realized in that moment that he was also hearing their thoughts.)

Maybe now, with Rosalie standing in front of him and just annoyingly waiting for Merlin-knows-what, Ominis should use his Legilimency to find out what Rosalie wants. (He hates it, though.) It would not be difficult. (The thought makes him shiver in horror because he doesn’t want to abuse the ability.) He can feel the edges of her mind, her magic, and all he has to do is reach out - she is right there, and -

“Ominis?”

Her arms are crossed, he hears an impatient huff.

Why hasn’t she left him alone yet?

Hadn’t the Hogwarts Express already left the station, bringing all of the students home for the winter holiday? Ominis had thought he would be one of the only students left in the castle, and if he is being honest with himself, he had been looking quite forward to having the place to himself.

Ominis’s winter has just gotten infinitely worse.

Going to Gaunt Manor for the holidays is out of the question (he will not think about the nightmares that have been plaguing him ever since he received the owl demanding he go home), and Ominis does not want to be more of a burden to the Sallows. They already do enough for him over the summer, and Sebastian and Anne have convinced him to go to Hogsmeade with them at least twice over the next two weeks. Besides, with Anne’s curse progressing, Ominis does not want to be in the way.

“Why are you still here?” Ominis asks. He knows his voice comes across as cold as his blood, blunt, but he cannot help himself. Ever since Rosalie arrived - her entrance to Hogwarts also causing quite the stir - Ominis has been intensely annoyed by her presence. She is too happy. Too carefree. Too…well, everything he is not.

And, she does not seem to leave him alone.

Rosalie is always there, always hanging around Sebastian. (Taking Sebastian away.) He even showed her the Undercroft, which had almost caused a rift in their relationship. Ominis could not believe that Sebastian would be so careless, showing someone who for all intents and purposes is crashing her way into their lives, forcing them to pay attention to her. They barely even knew her, and yet Sebastian thought it was a good idea to show her such a sacred place?

(It does not help that she is intelligent, and Ominis has caught himself on more than one occasion about to ask her about her opinion on something before he catches himself.)

“I was looking for you.”

Ominis tilts his head at that and fiddles with his ring. He considers walking away, leaving -

“I mean…Sebastian said that you were also going to be here over the holidays and since everyone else just left I thought -”

“Thought what?” Internally, Ominis winces at the biting tone to his voice. It came out harsher than he intended, his voice loud and echoing through his mind, bouncing off the cold, stone walls surrounding them.

[ghqstwriter]

Hiiii! I just read your “hero drives the villain home because they felt guilty for injuring them” snippet and IM OBSESSED!! :D Idk if you have a second part planned but I would love to see some much needed comfort for the villain. 🥹 maybe some angst too? As in they run into who did all that to the villain~? Idk I’m just throwing out some ideas, and either way I know I’ll love whatever you end up doing with it 💗💗

Part 1 isn’t necessary to understand this but provides context

Villain stared absentmindedly at the sky, watching the sun set slowly and tauntingly. The seventh day was ending, and Hero was supposedly leaving, having been proven wrong about their wild estimations. That wasn’t exactly what happened, despite Villain’s best efforts.

In fact, they hadn’t even managed to formulate a plan by the time the first hurdle came along. The pair had arrived at Villain’s place relatively soon after their conversation, and the criminal had only just remembered the sheer state of their home by the time the lock clicked and the door swung wide open. Medicine bottles sprawled across the counter, dishes entirely unwashed, blankets messily thrown across the living room proof that Villain had been too weak to take themself to bed.

Hero was horrified.

The crimefighter had transformed into a complete mother hen for the first 48 hours, refusing to leave Villain’s side for more than a bathroom break. Hero’s utter commitment to staying by Villain’s side would have left the criminal more than flattered if not for the shame dwelling in their stomach. They didn’t want to be spoilt and pampered like a helpless weakling. They were Villain, not some frail child.

One morning soon after that, Villain had awoken with a plan fully prepared in their mind. They’d formulated a ‘pristine’ cover story; one lacking enough detail so that they were free from being caught out but not one too obviously fake. Their alibi, along with how cheery Villain appeared to be, left Hero thoroughly persuaded, and they seemed more than comforted by their nemesis’ state. Now, finally, they were convinced that everything was ok, and they’d leave Villain alone. The plan was perfect. Impeccable. A spectacular masterpiece.

Hero caught them throwing up vigorously that same evening.

Even Villain, who was desperate in their search for an excuse, knew they couldn’t pass this off as a common illness. It had lasted too long, and Hero had picked up on their ailment almost as soon as it began. But, they needed to think of something quickly, as the hero was minutes from rushing them to a hospital they were adamant was necessary for the villain. But, Villain knew the doctors would find out exactly what was wrong with them. They didn’t want that can of worms open.

In an act of pathetic distress, they’d begged. Villain never begged, they’d rather slowly chew off their own limbs than be at the mercy of someone else’s, well, mercy. Perhaps that’s why Hero hadn’t taken them to the hospital that day, a signifier of just how bad the prospect of going there was. But, they didn’t get off lightly, and Hero firmly told the criminal that if things didn’t improve within a few days, not even grovelling would be enough to keep them from a medic.

Villain only broke away from their recollection of events when they heard the seat in front of them scrape against the floor. As they looked up, eyes heavy and probably still puffy, they saw Hero, also in their sleepwear, sat across from them anxiously. They knew it was the final day too, evident from how thick the air seemed to be. While Villain still managed to maintain the illusion of feeling perfectly healthy, after that incident, Hero had started to see right through them. Both of them knew how badly the criminal was doing, how poorly their health had regressed. But both of them knew they wouldn’t just straight up admit what happened.

“Villain,” Hero began, voice almost hesitant. “My leave ended yesterday, I was only able to take the one week off. I have to go into work today, I’m sorry.”

“That’s fine. It’s been a week, right? We’re all done here?”

“Villain, you know I can’t leave you. Not when you’re like this. You’ll have some space when I’m on missions, now, but until you’re well again, I can’t be gone for good.”

The villain didn’t respond, so Hero began to talk about their mission, flicking through a thick folder to read some information that they’d hoped would at least distract Villain from whatever they were feeling. The hero pulled open the page they were clearly looking for, and Villain’s heart plummeted.

“Seven days is quite a long time to be off of a mission, so all the research has practically been done, it’s just up to me and the others to actually take down the guy. Long story short, couple sketchy guys turned up dead a little while back, the coroners said it was some highly poisonous serum that killed them. Sidekick managed to trace it back to Rival, so now all that’s left is— uh, Villain?” Hero trailed off at the end, likely noticing how pale the villain was. Were they pale? They felt it, trembling as though all the blood had left their body.

It took until Hero grasped at their arms firmly for the villain to even realise that the crimefighter had rushed over to them, fear evident in their expression. They felt sick. Horrifically nauseous to the degree that they were shocked they hadn't already keeled over. Yet, even in this state, a sliver of shame resting in the villain's limited coherence began to chew away at them This was pathetic, they were acting pathetic.

"Villain? Villain? Can you hear me? Just look at me a second, please," Hero plead, biting their lip. For a moment, their eyes glanced at the folder lain across the table, containing the files Villain wasn't even aware they were still fixated on, gaze unwavering. It was then that they realised, dread cheering for glee in their stomach, that Hero knew.

"It's not— I'm not—" Villain didn't know what to say, how to argue against the blatant truth. What else could they even say after this? On the third day, Villain hadn't slept. Instead, they'd stared at the blank ceiling of their room and pondered. They considered telling the hero everything. About their not-so-friendly meeting with Rival, about the way they'd been cornered and outsmarted, about all the symptoms that had come after that. But, for a plethora of reasons, they didn't want Hero involved.

Turns out they already were.

A week or so ago, Villain thought that the poison had hit it's worst point. Rock bottom, they called it. They'd take what they thought was the worst agony of their life over this any day of the week. Everything about them felt frail, as though their whole being was about to shatter like bloodstained glass. They didn't even have it in them to bite back anymore. The villain that did nothing but insult and taunt couldn't do anything but whimper like a sick dog.

All of a sudden, Villain felt a strong arm wrap itself around their waist, and in an instant, they were hoisted into the air, trembling legs supported by the hero's grip. They were taking them to the living room, Villain realised. Likely so that they could rest and recover easier, Hero had so far been more than insistent about proper relaxation after all. It was only when Villain had been gently placed on the plush sofa that Hero started talking again.

"When I asked Medic to look into the poison Rival is using, they told me that not even a superhuman immune system could properly fight it off," they stated, understanding crystal clear in their face. Villain could tell they were fighting to stay composed, but from the way their eyes flashed with a protective terror, the criminal knew they were everything but.

"The dosage, it shouldn't be a fatal amount," Villain gasped, unsure if the anxiety or the horrible, horrible sickness was more prominent here. "Rival didn't know I was superhuman, they wouldn't have accounted for that with the poison."

"Villain, the dosage doesn't matter. This stuff is dangerous, even in tiny amounts. I've seen what this stuff does to people, Vil. This is serious!" Hero sounded angry, almost enraged. If the pair hadn't known each other for as long as they did, if their history was any less intricate, Villain would have thought they were mad at them. However, this wasn't the first time that concern had painted Hero's face a deep shade of fury. They were hardly good at concealing their emotions.

From across the room, in perhaps the most inconvenient time it could, Hero's phone began to ring. Sidekick, almost definitely. Hero had to work today after all. At least, Villain thought to themself, already dreading the time they'd have to spend alone with the misery, this might give Hero some more motivation to find the bastard quicker. The sooner Villain didn't have to be in their lonesome, the better (although, they'd never say that to Hero's face).

However, the unease and apprehension was quick to fade. Instead of heading over to answer the phone, Hero took Villain's hand, thumb brushing over their knuckles with a touch gentler than Villain had ever experienced. The ringtone of the phone was loud, disturbing the tranquil morning silence, but Hero's focus never wavered, not even for a second.

"When I first noticed you struggling. I thought you were sick with the flu or something along those lines. Then, when it didn't seem to go away, I assumed you were going through something. Maybe a family member died, maybe you were burning out from work, I didn't want to press. I thought that whatever hardship you were going through, you just needed someone to keep you company whilst you regained your strength. A helping hand of sorts."

Both Hero and Villain seemed on the verge of tears, the two of them choking on a thousand words they wanted to say. Villain had suffered in silence for so long, even when they thought that this serum would have been the end of them. They didn't want anyone to care, didn't want anyone to waste their breath praying that Villain of all people would make it to the end of the week. Despite it all, despite the bitterness and the solitude, Hero cared.

"Vil, I'm not leaving you, ok? Not when things are this serious. I'll get Medic's files on the serum, I can call them over if you'd be fine with that. But I'm doing all of it here, with you."

"But," Villain rasped weakly. But what about work? If you're looking for Rival, you need to be with your team. This is an important mission; they need you. Villain knew they should counter what Hero was saying. Logically, it was ridiculous to drop this entire mission over Villain's wellbeing. Hell, eight days ago, Hero had never even shown a sign that they cared about Villain in the slightest. And here they were, fighting back sobs from sheer desperation. Maybe this was a long time coming.

"Please don't leave."

"I promise I won't."

[ceedak]

can we get a ceedak timeline 🤔 i feel like there’s a lot idk abt them fr 😭😭

yes u absolutely can i could talk about them forever and ever 🥳🥳

disclaimer: i do wanna say this is just from what i’ve gathered because i didn’t become super fixated on nfl rpf until last year </3 one day i’ll do a legit deep dive like an insane person and update with all my findings…

second disclaimer: im delusional yes and a part of me straight up thinks that they’ve had to have hooked up at least once bc i love to psychoanalyze people i'll never meet but i’ll make sure to say when i’m being fully delusional KSDJFHSKDS

putting it under a read more because i’m sure it’ll be much longer than necessary

also i will reblog this and add links to some videos!!

SO before i get into like when ceedee was drafted and such i wanna talk about how invisible string coded they are because i love shit like this sm

both were born in louisiana only about an hour and a half apart from each other until ceedee moved to texas as a child after hurricane katrina hit (he’s said he’s moved around a couple of times as kid in interviews before)

dak went to mississippi st. in college and ceedee’s dream school was LSU (rival colleges… 🚬) but he had committed to oklahoma (also they wouldn’t have met or anything in college anyway because dak was drafted in 2016 and ceedee started playing in college in 2017 but i digress it makes my brain light up anyway lol)

when dak was drafted he was projected to go like late second round/early third round of the draft but 🗿 he got into some trouble beforehand (driving under the influence) and ended up falling to the 4th round (after the front office kept trying to trade up to get a different backup QB)

dak also had to compete for his spot as a backup and was named starter after romo was injured in 2016. this was dak’s rookie year and he led them to the playoffs - almost to the nfc championship game. after this he basically took the job from romo

okay so FAST FORWARD to the 2020 draft. ceedee was projected to go top 10 and he fell all the way to SEVENTEEN so the cowboys were able to grab him then (drafted bpa instead of for need)

idk all of this is just very <333 to me that so many things managed to fall into place just right and they managed to find each other on the same team out of THIRTY TWO teams it makes me weeeep 🤧 also just something else that i think is very cute because i truly am a little insane: ceedee was born april 8th and dak’s jersey number is 4 and ceedee’s is 88 so 4/8 ALL THE DOTS CONNECT SOMEHOW…

so we’ll go through a teensy bit about dak i suppose and then ceedee this won’t be too long

dak: baby of his family and has two brothers. his parents divorced when he was little and he was very close with his mom before she passed away in 2013 (he’s started a foundation since then for cancer research and suicide prevention/mental health). went to mississippi st, cowboys starter his rookie year, etc etc. he also lost his brother to suicide in 2020 and he’s said before he feels a responsibility to live on and carry his and his mom’s legacy throughout his life. he’s like suuuuuper underrated in the league i feel and a lot of cowboys fans are complete assholes to him all the time it makes me so mad cos they could literally never ever make me hate him - he makes me so weepy 😭😭😭 umm but yeah he’s donated a ton to children cancer funds too and donated during BLM protests and things like that - he won the walter payton man of the year award. he just had a baby and got engaged in october (remember for the yaoi LOL) ok im gonna stop here cause i don’t wanna rant too much lol

btw i know what you are dak prescott:

ceedee: MY BELOVED… my favorite my absolute favorite. he has two brothers and two little sisters. idk if he’s the eldest or not tbh i see different things all the time that he’s the second eldest whatever not that important i guess. so blah blah college blah blah - he wears 88 on the team because that’s considered really special to the cowboys franchise and is reserved for elite receivers. idk he’s the most beautiful man ever and he does a lot of donating too - i know he participates in a lot of football youth camps a lot to help kids out and he likes to provide meals to families around thanksgiving and christmas time. a loooot of cowboys fans have criticized him for not being that much of a leader and pouting a lot on the sidelines (which he does sometimes… my mimir) but i think this last season he’s reaaaaallyyy taken a step into more of a leader type position especially with dak being out and he’s proven himself more than enough. he LOOOVES spending money on clothes it’s so cute… gonna be a sad day when the class war happens and i’m faced with cedarian lamb. ummm i also legit think he’s gay and closet is made of glass but whatever

see this is the problem i never stfu but okay CEEDAK what you actually asked about ksjdksjdks

PRE-2020 SEASON: this was before ceedee was drafted (some stuff i found last night) and this is what i mean when i say i haven’t done like a deep dive into these things bc i’m sure there’s soo much more but this kinda gives the general vibes

“I was like a little kid at the playground,” CeeDee tells us. (on the first time Dak texted him to invite him over to his house, says it was surreal.) august 21, 2020

and i actually hunted the exact clip down where he says this: (will reblog with link - skip to 4:25 he talks for like a minute or so - sorry the audio’s funky it’s because of covid so all the reporters weren’t in the room i’m pretty sure) DELUSIONS: you can’t tell me ceedee wasn’t nursing a crush here idgaf

2020 SEASON:

ceedee’s rookie year

personal stuff happened with dak before the season started - this is when he lost his brother to suicide and he’s been really outspoken about mental health since then. on top of that he broke his ankle during week 5 of the season (and tried to snap it back into place by himself on the field). dak was performing on like a sort of insane level before the injury happened so </3 what could’ve been and all that… the what-ifs of it all… so that year they weren’t able to play together as much

Oct 11, 2020: “CeeDee Lamb said he texted Dak as soon as he got out of the shower. Thanked him for everything he’s done for him and they were gonna hold it down for him until they see him on the field again.” (after the game dak got hurt in)

POST 2020 SEASON:

"He came back from his second surgery about two months ago so he’s walking around, rehabbing, doing everything right," Lamb said Wednesday. "It’s great to see, especially when you seen him go down. You saw the look in his eyes and you saw how sad he was and how much this game meant to him. Just to see him smiling again, happy again, being with his guys is a great deal."

"First day he kind of caught me by surprise with his arm strength," Lamb said. "He knows the little nuances of the game to be better. He makes it easy to follow him, if you will."

2021 SEASON

ceedee’s second year, he was in a WR room with amari cooper (currently on the bills) and michael gallup (now retired) blah blah season happened whateverrrr but AFTER this season the front office (i’ll always be mad about this lol) traded amari to the browns for a 5th round pick 💀 hence THIS!!! which i consider the #Real beginning of ceedak:

“Dak Prescott asked for CeeDee Lamb’s locker to be moved next to his: ‘My two other locker mates left, so I was a little lonely. With him being young, hopefully he’s my WR until I’m done playing. Just bring him closer, more conversations, he’s right there to talk and communicate.’”

said he had no doubt ceedee could become his "main guy"

here’s some fun stuff i found from 2021 too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3hCmIZN-YI&ab_channel=DallasCowboys (7 min mark this was after a game winning td in overtime against new england)

“CeeDee Lamb on game-winning 35-yard TD: ‘It was the best feeling ever, honestly.’”

2022 SEASON:

https://youtu.be/T73xGDsFiVo?si=Qn_dwK1yfnHPiMya talks about dak here at 7:50 “all i need is him” 🤧

he’s actually said this a couple times lol he says shit like “we’re all we got” about each other - he’s said it this most recent season too so <3

dak injured his thumb this season though so he was out for like 7 weeks i think i can’t remember off the top of my head lol but again another season where they didn’t get to play much together

fun 2022 stuff:

“Last year, Cowboys caked Dak in the face on the field for his 28th birthday. On his 29th today, CeeDee told us they planned to do the same in the locker room. Hoped Dak would think he was safe after no cake on the field, and then locker room ambush.”

“Scene here: Dak was talking to us at his locker. CeeDee walks past wearing metallic red lens sunglasses indoors and eating chicken. Says the key to following up ass-kicking is ‘keep kicking ass.’”

“Dak on CeeDee’s vibe: Yeah, cool as hell - says ‘keep kicking ass’ while he’s eating.”

“Dak Prescott walked by during our interview with CeeDee Lamb - QB1: CeeDee’s that dude! / WR1: Happy birthday, Dak!”

link posted in reblog: skip to 2:30 he almost says he loves dak lol also very

2023: THE SEASON OF CEEDAK!!!

https://youtu.be/7_WRIzb5fPA?si=R0TETc2qtW0IOP5P the infamous "was gonna take him out for dinner tonight" clip is from this aka what got me hooked on ceedak lol (this interview is just so good in general i love ceedee sm - def recommend watching! such a nice look at his personality)

this is where my delusions take over i deadass think they hooked up at LEAST once around this time lol maybe end of 2022 season maybe early 2023 season IDK but anyway during this year the offense was soo wack for a couple of weeks until the bye week and then ceedee made some noise about it bc he felt like he wasn't being as utilized (which is true i'm so serious mccarthy was SUCH an annoying coach lol) but quotes:

“Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb said Dak Prescott approached him and said: ‘If you have a problem with anything, just come up to me and we’ll talk about it.’ Lamb said he and Dak worked on getting on the same page their first day back in the building after the 49ers loss.”

Dak: ‘I mean, a frustrated player that feels like we all could’ve done better and feels like he can change the game, I understand it. I really do. So it’s in the sense of just communicating with him… CeeDee is a guy that I’ll never lose confidence in and trust who he is and understand why he’s frustrated. But at the end of the day, he’s a leader. It’s about him leading other guys and picking other guys up and him just trying to make sure we’re all pushing our best. That’s where the frustration is, we have to remove that. And he will. He’s a young player that’s growing by the day and he’ll only get better. He’ll be better because of that.’

but after they switched the offense around dak and ceedee went craaaazyyy - ceedee was named all pro, dak was in mvp talks (should have won it to be honest i'm sorry lamar i still love you <3) but 2023 cowboys will seriously haunt me forever lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sudQu72KDXs&ab_channel=NFLonFOX

DELUSIONS: dak announced he was having a baby like two weeks after this game SO let’s just say…. maybe…. perhaps… they were hooking up… ceedee probably knew before the public did - not saying that’s why he seems a little upset at the beginning of this clip cause who knows 🤷‍♀️ like i said DELUSIONS but… i can’t help it when the timeline timelines don’t shoot the messenger

also i do wanna mention that dak’s fiance follows a loooot of cowboys players on ig but she does not follow ceedee and he doesn’t follow her AGAIN just delusions…. but… iykyk 👀

sooo they were poppin off in 2023, ceedee was breaking records and shit, won nfc east, went to the playoffs and then i DON'T wanna talk about it i have my theories about wtf happened during that playoffs packers game but 💀💀 anyway the offseason before the 2024 season was genuinely the worst of my life because BOTH ceedee and dak had to get extended and jerry jones (who is the worst) waited until after training camp to get them both signed lol so ceedee wasn't participating in training camp at all which affected them in the beginning of the 2024 season which was a complete mess A MESS but here's some fun stuff after ceedee signed his extension/during that offseason

“Remarkable. That’s who CeeDee Lamb is. … He’s special. He’s just getting going and as long as I’m here, he’s gonna keep stacking these records year after year.”

“CeeDee Lamb strongly defended Dak: No one deserves the criticism that he gets. The way he gets talked about is crazy.”

2023-2024 OFFSEASON:

worst months of my life lol ceedee was holding out for his new contract and didn’t get it signed until like… august i think? anddd dak was signed fucking three hours before kickoff the first week of the season lol i HATE this front office

but here’s some fun quotes after ceedee was signed:

CeeDee Lamb: “We were texting quite a bit. Obviously I missed being out there, competing with him… for is being so in tune together and all it takes is one text message or one conversation, one phone call… for us both… having the same passion for the game, same love for the game. I want what’s best for Dak and vice versa. Shout out to him too for getting that bag, too. We’ll be together for the next five years.”

Dak Prescott on CeeDee Lamb’s added muscle weight: “He’s wearing a lot more sleeveless shirts. As long as the speed is there, and it looks like it is (in practice), I’m fine with however big he is.” LMAO??

Dak Prescott: “I peeped the biceps. He’s wearing more sleeveless shirts now.”

Dak Prescott recently on CeeDee Lamb: “He’s talented. He works hard. He’s special. He’s the best receiver in the league for a reason. And I’ve seen Instagram videos. I know you’ve seen him. He’s working. And he works hard. So I have no angst, no worries about when he gets here that we’re not going to pick up where we left off. And when you're a stud like that and you’re smart like he is and you’re good at communicating, that makes that process that much easier. So it’s not like we’ve got to build something. We’ve got that. We just got to reignite it when he gets here.”

on how much ceedee worked with dak at the field at dak’s house even though he was staying away from the team: “Often. I would say quite often. Anytime that I’m back in town, and he’s obviously back here, I hit him and then… it’s very… good having a rich quarterback.”

Dak Prescott’s thoughts on the tandem of him and CeeDee Lamb being compared to legendary duos like Joe Montana and Jerry Rice: “I think that says a lot just cause we’ve only done it for four years and you just named some of those duos that did it for their whole careers. But then again, I feel like we can be better than all of them… so love the comparisons, they sound good and all, but hopefully one day people are saying these next duos and next tandems can be like me and CeeDee.” (i will kms over this quote one day)

i’m sure there’s things i’m missing but this is already sooooo long lol so

2024 SEASON:

WORST SEASON OF MY LIFEEEEEE / ceedak angst era

the front office set this team up to fail and let like a ton of players walk in the offseason, didn’t use free agency, injury riddled team, had a bunch of rookies starting but anyway just gonna go game by game really quick because this is when i was locked tf in and it’s more recent so ?? more detail seems alright when it's necessary also i wrote so many half-finished post-game fics this season to cope with how terrible it was i’m cryingggg it was insane

cowboys vs browns: i was at this game :) good game they won

cowboys vs saints: blocked this game out actually!!!

cowboys vs ravens: fake ass comeback also the game ceedee CRASHED OUT on the field lskdjslkdjsskjdsk which is so funny bc i literally love lamar sm and was so excited to watch but… my players wanted to make me MISERABLE

this was said a day or two after the game by ceedee (bc he fumbled during it and then wasn't there for post game media people andddd was yelling at dak on the sideline 🗿)

“Our relationship has, if anything, gotten stronger. Don’t let what, what’s out there fool you. We’re brothers to the end. We know that we all we got, and I tip my hat off to him. I got the utmost respect for him.”

“So with that being said, everything is gonna come out - the energy, the passion, the love, the fight - and then we’ll make up in the end. So no, no craziness now. Don’t.”

dak also said something about his rhythm with ceedee being a “rare feeling” which… okay internalized homophobia but i CANNOT for the life of me find the actual quote i’ve searched through my gallery but it’s not there </3 if i find i’ll add later (i’m pretty sure it was after the baltimore game but i can’t remember)

cowboys vs giants: this is a tremicah game no need to mention ceedak idt - nasty ugly win but whatever

cowboys vs steelers: dak prescott giving me a heart attack 12 fucking times during this game

cowboys vs lions: don’t wanna talk about it! i’m a hater! always will be sorry!!! ben johnson statpadding on my sorry ass terrible team i was SICKKKKK

BYE WEEK: my trials and tribulations…. my nfl rpf…

CeeDee Lamb on getting in some extra work with Dak Prescott during their bye week: “We love our bye weeks. We took advantage of it. We got right. We used every opportunity to get better and I feel like it’s going to show. We got on some routes, and obviously the timing is everything. We needed that.”

now ummm this is the week dak got engaged so. which is really funny because after the announcement post on ig ceedee went GHOST on instagramksjdjks like i went back to check because i’m crazy (these are delusions btw) and he had been posting like once a week… maybe once every two weeks PRETTY consistently like for at least a couple of months but after the engagement happened there was pretty much nothing for like… almost two months?? ummm which AGAIN i’m not saying anything i’m not insinuating anything buuuuut…… buuuuut….. also it’s really fucking funny because in this same interview ceedee dropped that he left the country during the bye week but didn’t post it on socials at all so i’m like ohhhh… you’re coping w the engagement… i see LMAO anyway

cowboys vs 49ers: sigghhhh….. lets get into it

SO this was a loss but two ceedee touchdowns.. i’m leaving with something!!!

“Yeah, I found CeeDee,” Prescott said when reflecting back on Lamb’s breakout in the Bay Area. “He did a good job of getting open, running all of his routes hard no matter where he was, if he was the one or if he was backside on a concept. Loved his intentionality in the game. He kind of said something like that to me during the game, midway through the game, like ‘Yeah, we’re back.’ And that was before, I think, his two touchdown drives. So just him even playing with that confidence, communicating that, it gives me a lot of confidence.”

super hopeful right maybe they'll really connect again and things'll be fine LOL

cowboys vs falcons: worst game ever dak tore his hamstring off the bone like a fucking idiot and ceedee sprained his AC joint and would not stop going back out into the game i was ready to kms

cowboys vs eagles: not talking about it idc

cowboys vs texans: loss because ofc but whatever ceedak hugged before the game tho so i didn’t gaf about the loss - i can’t find the clip rn but if i do i’ll post it

cowboys vs commanders: this is when i accepted they were tanking and then they decided to just be elite for whatever reason lol made me so happy though ceedee was so happy <33

cowboys vs giants: whatever

cowboys vs bengals: worst fucking game of my life nothing to do with ceedak but one of my other fave player’s (i also ship him w ceedee idgaf) knee EXPLODED so that was so much fun to deal with

cowboys vs panthers: i still can’t believe bryce young decided to forget how to play football in this game im crying

cowboys vs tampa: again they just wanted to be elite for whatever reason

cowboys vs: eagles: don’t wanna talk about it idc

cowboys vs commanders: WHATEVER thanks for the 12th draft pick ashton jeanty you will be a cowboy

SO. that’s basically where everything's at lmfao worst season EVERRRRR with ceedak ANGST um but yeah hopefully 2025 will be better... i’m cautiously optimistic because their old coach is finally FINALLY gone because he was really limiting them and their ability you know? 2023 season was amazing and then 2024 started and it was like… mccarthy just reverted back to his old scheme that wasn’t working. it was really annoyingksdkskds. but the new coach (despite it seeming like a silly hire) had a decent press conference (that ceedee didn’t attend bc he was playing around in paris LOL) andddd he seems to be setting up a nice staff around him so hopefully hopefully hopefully 2025 is a lot better and ceedak will save me again… can’t wait for training camp omg

anyway if u read all this i’m SO sorry i hope it’s… expansive enough?? i wanted to include kind of how it’s been through the years and i had a lot more to add for 2023/2024 because that’s when my adhd was just like Yea let’s hyperfixate on this so. been stuck here for awhile and i’ll probably be stuck here for years and years and years <3

[midnightsslut]

the whole cardigan/Peter parallels are messing my head can u explain

okay so peter is actually one of my favorite songs on the album for this reason! I think it has parallels to a lot of other songs, not just cardigan. the first thing to get out of the way is the cardigan lyric about peter and wendy: ‘tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy.’ now, that line doesn’t make a ton of sense because peter losing wendy is the ending of peter pan (idk I’ve never seen it and never thought I’d spend this long thinking about them), but I think what she’s saying is that he tried to change the ending of *their* story to peter losing wendy. peter loses her because she outgrows him, while he remains a ‘lost boy’ forever. the cardigan demo has an alternate lyric where peter actually *leaves* wendy. this does not happen in the original story, and to me, it reads like betty (eh, I don’t think those characters existed when she wrote that song, but bear with me) is accusing him of trying to change their fate by leaving her. peter is meant to always come back to wendy. *she* is the one who eventually leaves him. either way, cardigan ends with them together. yay for betty and/or taylor.

now, peter was written 3-4 years later, and it is the conclusion of a story about outgrowing someone despite truly wanting them back. the ending was not, in fact, changed. she did outgrow him. very sad. I actually want to go lyric by lyric, but I’ll put a cut just in case.

Forgive me Peter

My lost fearless leader

In closets like cedar

Preserved from when we were just kids

Is it something I did

the song starts with taylor trying to figure out what went wrong. did she do something wrong to crush these dreams of theirs? she kept him in a closet of cedar (where unmarried women kept their belongings that they would want to take with them after getting married) in her mind, but things didn’t work out anyway. the first line being ‘forgive me, peter’ indicates that she is the one who pulled the plug, and she’s apologizing for it. again, she isn’t entirely sure what went wrong, which, to me, is a clear parallel to how did it end.

The goddess of timing

Once found us beguiling

She said she was trying

Peter was she lying

My ribs get the feeling she did

when they first met, the timing seemed to be perfect for their relationship (‘the goddess of timing *once* found us beguiling’), but that didn’t last. the goddess of timing claimed that she tried, but nothing could save them. taylor even wonders if she lied, which suggests a lack of faith in higher powers like fate or deities. this verse introduces timing as a major conflict in the story. ‘are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?’

Said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Words from the mouths of babes

Promises, oceans deep

But never to keep

peter went away, but he promised to come down once he was ready for a relationship. yes, this kind of applies to both of the main storylines on the album. you could take this to mean that they actually broke up a decade ago but promised to get back together, or you could assume there was some sort of break to their relationship, which she and joe did have. i kind of took it to mean that he wasn’t fully committed to the relationship, but he promised to be eventually. again, the renegade lyric, but also ‘i’m a fire, and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm if your cascade ocean wave blues come’ and ‘I’d hold you as the water rushes in,’ both of which are grand promises that neither party could keep.

Are you still a mind reader?

A natural scene stealer

I've heard great things Peter

But life was always easier on you

Than it was on me

he is charismatic. his magnetic field is a little too strong. he can read people. but he’s also fragile and inexperienced (‘he was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsman’). he may be able to read people, but things have been way too easy for him to ever understand a truly hurt person fully.

And sometimes it gets me

When crossing your jet stream

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon

In different galaxies

And I didn't want to hang around

We said it was just goodbye for now

this is the thesis statement of their relationship to me. obviously, there’s the call it what you want parallel, but more importantly, it shows that the two people really wanted this to work. they just came from completely different places in their lives and perhaps the entire universe. this verse seems to reference the epilogue (‘resentment rotting away galaxies we created’ / ‘some stars never align’). they learned the right steps to different dances, if you will. she knew he needed time, so she left temporarily.

And I won't confess that I waited

But I let the lamp burn

As the men masqueraded

I hoped you'd return

With your feet on the ground

Tell me all that you'd learned

Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

she does get with other men, but she keeps longing for him. she wishes that he would return with a grasp on reality and be the man she needs. if anything, the time away would give him the perspective he needs to ground himself. interesting parallel to ‘I said I don’t mind / it takes time’ in loml.

And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired

Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life

Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried

To hold onto the days when you were mine

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

this is just devastating to me. well, first of all, both matty and joe were 25 when they first met her, which, lol. the dreams they had together have expired now. it’s been too long. she cannot keep holding onto a love from almost a decade ago. he took too long to return. he lost his lifelong dreams to what was only supposed to be a chapter of his life. she tried to hold onto the days when he was hers, and everything was right, but she had to turn out the light at some point. this is the moment when she gives up on their relationship. she apologizes for abandoning the ship, but she must do it.

overall, I think peter is a story about two people who genuinely did everything they could to be together, but their needs and their growth no longer aligned. there’s a sense of acceptance and lingering fondness here. she did everything she could not to bolt, but the ending was the same.

[dani-ya-dig]

Ok now that I’m fully awake. It’s time try and organize my thoughts on that audio oh my god.

Also trigger warning for mentions of suicide under the cut

That’s actually the first thing I wanna talk about, and is the only gripe I have with the entire video. Why the fuck wasn’t mentions of suicide tagged in the description??

Like I understand the concept wasn’t dwelled on and Sam didn’t outright say “I’m gonna fucking kill myself” but he PRETTY EXPLICITLY talked about how he planned to commit suicide even if he didn’t say those words. idk “chosen morality” doesn’t seem like the right warning for that? I’m not gonna complain abt it like too much, I just was a little confused on why it wasn’t tagged.

But anyways onto my jumbled up thoughts about the actual audio! Because as a member of the Sam Collins fandom, I have thoughttsssssss!!

THIS AUDIO MADE ME SOB! I couldn’t sleep because of how sad I was over it. Sam and Darlin need to be happy just for fucking ONCE, god give them a BREAKKKKKK.

The idea of them just silently holding each other on their roof with the night sky above them, a few tears probably falling from both of them. IM DUHXSJDIJFDJFHFHJ

AND MOTHERFUCKER THE VIDEO ENDING ON “Brown. My eyes were brown” I FELL TO THE FLOOR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

On a happier note about that, I KNEW Sam’s eyes were brown. I feel like almost everyone did tbh. I’ll tell you what gave it away though, the gentle way he says “please” to Darlin in some of his audios. Automatically gave it away that he would have had the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you have ever seen in your life. I’m physically sick over it, it’s not even funny.

Now back to the thing I desperately don’t wanna think about. Sam telling Darlin that he wasn’t planning on living forever.

That’s where the dam broke for me, I started bawling. It totally makes sense, I get it and I can’t say that it’s not a choice that makes sense given that Sam never wanted to be a vampire in the first place.

Do y’all think that he was planning to watch the sunrise on his roof? Because that was my first thought and it hurt real bad. Sam finally getting to feel the sunlight after so many years of having been deprived of it, only to be ash when the sun was fully in the sky.

Also I know damn well he probably would have done it after Darlin died and that’s what hurts so bad. If Darlin chose to be a vampire I think he would happily spend however long their eternity would be by their side, but once they were gone he probably wouldn’t feel a reason to stay. Especially because if Darlin turned into a vampire the two of them probably would have completely pulled away from all mortals before that would happen.

On that note, I don’t think Darlin is gonna want to be turned. I never really thought they would, unless they were under very specific circumstances. Sam telling them to spend time in their wolf form and with their pack before deciding solidified that for me 100%. I don’t think they would be able to lose their wolf which we know is a pretty big part of shifters, talking from Milo’s audio where he breaks down worried he was never going to be able to shift again. I don’t think they would be okay with the idea of watching their friends, and their family all start to wither away and eventually die while they remain.

Now, do I think Darlin is going to want to be turned? No. Do I think the dynamic of Darlin choosing to remain mortal opens a lot of really good angst possibilities? Yes. Do I fully trust Erik to not turn them anyways? Not really no.

If I had to put a bet in for how it would happen if Darlin got turned, it would be by Quinn. Quinn would find out or catch wind of the fact that they chose not to be turned (if he didn’t already know they would chose that) and turn them anyways just to hurt them.

(I think Alexis turning them is an interesting idea to think about, from any angle but I highly doubt that’s gonna happen lmao)

All in all I genuinely think that was the only audio that has affected me that much (aside from maybe listening to the inversion for the first time??)

[reine-uls]

Good morning! Good morning!

Yesterday I fell asleep right after I read the chapter and I couldn’t write my thoughts down but anyway it was phenomenal like I expected it to be, finally little fox was able to go out and have fun with her friends, I thought some demon slayers are going to recognize her but that didn’t not happen😩 I did not expected Ai’s husband to be eaten by Douma ☹️💔 I thought he was dead before they joined the cult and now that Ai will soon join him makes me really worried about LF’s mental health, will she stop him from eating her friends by idk “trading” with him like “if you don’t kill them I’ll do this with you”? Or will she gave up and fully accept it cause IDK what will happen AFTER they all die because of him! Would she then commit suicide when she has nothing left? She made it clear she is living for them and not for herself.

I love Hinata & Ayumu they’re the best duo with how they are overprotective of LF 🥹 and seeing him grow and be vocal is making me feel like a proud mom, Sakura was really cute and it surprised me that she has pink hair and eyes!

Finally, I did not expect in a million years that Akaza would show up like this! I thought Douma followed them when the sun goes down cause he wanted to make sure LF is safe and he’d save her ! But now that it was Akaza and not him made me feel a bit relieved although I thought he’d be a gentleman☹️ but I’m glad he saved her, I don’t think he would bring it up to Douma and the demon’s attack might be kept secret between LF and Hinata cause if it came out that a demon attacked her he would never allow her to go outside without him and might punish Hinata for it and LF won’t allow him to. Sending you a virtual hug for your efforts to make this chapter happen🤗.

Hinata when he tried to talk sense into LF at the beginning of the chapter:

Dang you are committed into this comment 😏 I’m glad you enjoyed the chapter and point out everything that has happened. yeah it’s a good chapter for LF to spend time with others outside of the cult. Love that for them. Even though they almost died again thank for someone was there to help them. 😮‍💨

[vacantgodling]

Another ask!! 🌚🌚 For the white shirts and the Virgin of Mt. Heredosa?

i was HOPING someone would ask about the white shirts cuz that’s the story i really wanted to just talk about lmao because honestly idk when i’ll ever commit to writing it but i have so many thoughts about it (cuz ive had this wip since an abandoned roleplay in middle school LMAOOOO)

so tw for Heavy spoilers of 2 of my wips and death, ambiguous and or slightly dubious (perhaps) relationships, sex, aaannnnnd manipulation or.. is it? 👀

THE WHITE SHIRTS

so, to fully explain the white shirts—it takes place at the tail end of an apocalyptic mega event (removed by a few decades). prosper and jane morning (twins) were born during this time and live in a small town in what was once middle-america where fires are frequent and the HQ of their “village” is out of a gutted old fire department building from the before times. jane is more of an optimist while prosper is more of a pessimist but they care for each other fiercely; they’re attached at the hip. all of this changes when the titular White Shirts (dubbed this by jane) come to their town in sleek black lincoln town cars (from the old days), white button downs, shades, and slacks. they also have machine guns and uHHHHH unfortunately slaughter everyone in the town. prop and jane manage to escape this random violent act, however, they are pursued because no one was supposed to make it out alive and tbh they don’t even know why they’re being hunted. when they manage to make it to one of the abandoned “old days” cities, they run into someone else who’s alive: a boy named marin. and i want to specify ages now, prop & jane are 16 and marin is 19 — and that “slight” age gap is important tm. anyway prop doesn’t trust marin immediately but jane is softened by the fact that marin is injured AND he knows that they’re running from the white shirts because he is too. it turns out marin came from what was once california and has been running from the white shirts ever since because he Also wasn’t supposed to escape. he calls them something else but quickly adopts the name white shirts like jane. prop doesn’t want him traveling with them but they’re forced to worry about that later when the white shirts descend upon them and they have to flee again, marin’s smarts proving to be very useful (since prop and jane were p sheltered. well, sheltered for an apocalypse anyway). marin tells them that his goal is to head to the east coast to get on a ship that goes to the rest of the world to try and escape the white shirts and with no other plan, prop and jane decide to follow him. during this time, the three become close. ish. jane is definitely the glue that holds them together but prop and marin definitely have TENSION, which ends with them making out at one point while jane is off … idk somewhere. she volunteered to find supplies or something bc it’s possible prop is also injured by this point whatever. it’s fucked tho bc while they’re making out and jane is off, she’s captured by white shirts and long story short she ends up being killed which nearly breaks prop. but marin keeps pushing him and them to make it to the coast bc he’s like listen jane wouldn’t want you to stop she would want us to escape, and prop is all she would’ve wanted me to save her it’s a mess. marin uses the newly established physical nature of their relationship to distract prop and keep him from the deepest throes of grief and they keep pushing to make it to the coast, managing to hop on a still working train line heading there. the train is hijacked by white shirts and more pandemonium ensues, which ends up with prop deciding he’s going to blow up the train and he pushes marin into the main engine after kissing him a final time, saying he’s going to see jane. it’s clearly implied he dies in the explosion, and marin continues on, making it to the east coast. when there, he sees how much more advanced it is than the west coast and middle america and he’s able to gain passage to a ship to europe. the book would end with some line referencing prop’s name (prosper) and would end ambiguously cuz you dk what happens fully to marin.

so, there’s a lot of STUFF going on with this story, and a lot of things that i know will make people FEEL some type of way and part of that's the point. there's a reason that marin is purposefully older than prop and jane: i want him to feel ambiguous and i want the reader to be more on the side of prop who are somewhat suspicious of him. none of marin's actions FULLY make it so that he's a bad guy; like he still goes out of his way to help prop and jane and he genuinely grows to care about the two of them, but i want it to still be left ambiguous at the end if he decided to travel with prop and jane so that he could use them as meat shields to get to the coast? type energy yknow. the fact that he and prop have a physical relationship as well with somewhat dubcon vibes after jane's death is also a thing bc prop is consenting to the stuff that they do but he's also completely grief-stricken. and while 16 adn 19 is only three years i KNOW people are going to argue that its a problematic age gap and tbh i want that bc it adds credibility to marin being an enigma of a character. i want people to not know what to think of him because all we know about him (aside from his actions) are all based on what he tells us. we never get flashbacks to his backstory, and maybe some of the things he said are a bit contradictory and that's part of it. its also the fact that we end the story with marin. the guy we know nothing really about after watching the twins go through it and inadvertedly save his life time after time even since they first met, yet it seems like he almost dragged them into this.

but at the same time you remember that prop and jane were being hunted anyway. that marin in the beginning offers to go his own way, and refuses jane's help but she insists. that jane insists to go foraging on her own because she doesn't want to be a burden on the two of them that are already injured. that prop clings to marin, even if he pulls away because he's crying while their kissing because he wants to feel something. so imo you can argue that marin is also just a guy who is also stuck in a shitty situation just the same as them and unfortunately even though he tried to save them by bringing him with them, they weren't meant to live. obviously i am (as the author) a bit more sympathetic to marin BUT i really do like the ambiguity, just as i like the ambiguity of the white shirts in general. i'm never going to go into detail about what they want or why they're trying to hunt and kill them, that's not important. what's important is the relationship between these three characters, survivor's guilt, and how to power through grief, or let it consume you. yknow?

i also didn't realize it until now but its also definitely got some parallels to slavery and the black struggle bc all of the characters (prop, marin and jane) are black, meanwhile the white shirts along with wearing white shirts are also. well. yknow. its almost like a reverse underground railroad situation going from deep in america to the east coast to lands beyond on a boat. that was unintentional but it exists and sure you can look at it from that angle.

there's probably more i could ramble about because i have a lot of Thoughts about this wip i just unfortunately don't have the brain power to sit down and try to write it lol. maybe one day though!!

THE VIRGIN OF MOUNT HEREDOSA

this wip is a take on the "age old" question: if you were being sacrificed to a deity because you were a virgin, could you nullify your eligibility by no longer being a virgin?

nyoka is a xenabi, this universe's word for foreigner and came to this particular city (that is not named LMAO) when they were just a child because their parents were traveling merchants. unfortunately, their parents passed away during a plague at the time, and orphan nyoka was taken in by the sanctuary (or the religious body of the city). it seems like a kind gesture at first, but in actuality the caveat for them taking nyoka in is that they will be eventually sacrificed to the city's deities and so they have to adhere to a vegetarian diet and "keep pure" until its decided that its their time. unlike some of the other people who were "rescued" by the sanctuary, nyoka never adheres or converts to the religion in question and has been trying to find ways to escape being a sacrifice and they constantly get in trouble for sneaking out. one day in another attempt, they are stopped, caught, and then called before the council of elders where they learn that the next full moon, which is like a short amount of time (either 3-5 days or smthn) away, they're going to be thrown into the volcano as a sacrifice.

nyoka is freaking out. eating meat won't buy them time, they realize what they have to do is become not a virgin. after they learn this they are able to successfully sneak out the next day and during the daytime they meet a handsome spice merchant who is also a foreigner in this land. the two of them hit it off, though nyoka doesn't tell him of their predicament and the spice merchant offers them food. as the sun sets nyoka realizes they have to go to start their plan to become not a virgin and so they hurry off to the red light district. there, they manage to hide the fact that they're a sacrifice (all sacrifices are branded with magic so that people will know they are to be sacrificed) and sell themselves to a brothel for the night and they are quickly purchased when its discovered they're a virgin. when they're taken to a back room, the patron quickly discovers they're a sacrifice and flees, making a huge ruckus and nyoka is thrown out of the brothel (because people are terrified that if they taint a sacrifice that the gods will come for them). the sanctuary is called and nyoka is dragged back and locked in solitary confinement until they're supposed to die.

however, they manage to sneak out again despite the added restrictions but even still are late for their planned meeting with the spice merchant, the sun is nearly set. when they do meet, nyoka ends up breaking down and explaining everything that happened and how they're probably going to die tomorrow and the spice merchant offers to take nyoka back to his home since they "have nothing to live for". instead of going back into the city, the spice merchant leads them deep into the jungle until they are standing before a giant seemingly dilapidated mansion, however inside is warm and inviting. they talk and nyoka learns the spice merchant's name, verin. if they paid attention to the religion this would have perhaps tipped them off sooner because verin is the name of the god of destruction who was cast off of the volcano by the other gods in this city's religion. verin flirts openly with nyoka who doesn't seem to understand what he's hinting at, until finally, he laughs and asks them if they're too shy to ask for his help. nyoka doesn't understand and verin explains that if they no longer wish to be a virgin, he'd be happy to help them with that "problem" to save their life.

then they fuck PFFFF and while this happens, verin changes from a beautiful dark skinned man into a larger 4-armed, blue skinned deity and nyoka FINALLY puts together that he's not human LMAO. hashtag this is monster-fucker territory. but as they're yknow, nyoka's sacrifice mark disappears.

the next morning when they wake up, verin is still in his deity form and he does tell them that they're free the mark is gone, what will they do. nyoka isn't sure, but then decides that they want to travel with verin, and thus they head back into the city to get supplies for their trip. while there, they run into those from the sanctuary who have been looking for nyoka all night and when they try to grab them, nyoka informs them that they're no longer a virgin and thus can't be sacrificed. when its discovered their mark is gone, this enrages the head mother and she tries to kill nyoka, but verin steps in and stops her, burning the woman with acid. this is very reminiscent of stuff from their deity lore and the other nuns (or whatever) realize that he's verin the destroyer and thinks nyoka has been bewitched. nyoka shuts that shit down, says they love him, and throws their shoe at them until verin drags them away, laughing for how sweet it is for them to try and defend his honor. later that evening they've finished packing for their journey and then head off into the night to explore the rest of the world that nyoka has never seen.

this story is definitely a short story and technically i've started writing it. i may try to finish it soon cuz i get excited for it whenever i think about it BUT i dont wanna put too much pressure on myself to. its also supposed to feel folk-tale like! i love nyoka and verin they're so sweet and so good for each other <3

[cheshirecaine]

Ichigo! For the character Ask Game!

Ichigo! I got excited and started linking my fics like I had to prove my answers. Honestly, it’s just making me realise what things I like that I haven’t written(/finished ;-;;;).

How I feel about this character

Deserves the best—love him. I feel like by default, we or maybe just I, tend to pick a favourite character from the cast minus the main character (‘Who’s your favourite Bat? Batman doesn’t count’). So I’ve always considered it a funny little testament to Ichigo’s likability that a list of my fave Bleach characters will always include this guy.

Hot as shit, smarter than he’s given credit.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Grimmjow OTP. Rukia. Sometimes Shinji. But he’s the fandom bicycle, so I’m very open on this front—e.g. Aizen, several Gin fics, a hastily thrown-together Soifon fic (NSFW, 700w), Byakuya.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Isshin—I don’t care if I’m boring. I love this canon father-son relationship and no moment in Bleach ever breaks me as hard as the Fullbringer Arc scene where Ichigo thinks his dad has betrayed him too.

Honourable mentions: Kurosaki family wildness (1k, I do actually write fic sometimes okay). Ichigo/Renji brotp (or romantically). Ichigo/Kon—underrated brothers (gets a mention in the Kurosaki family fic). Chad. Actually, I love writing fics where Ichigo gets DMC’d by Shinji (exhibit: one of my fave parts of this 3k Ginjo/Ichigo fic is pretending it’s about pies when it’s actually Shinji therapising Ichigo and accidentally himself).

My unpopular opinion about this character

I can’t enjoy grimdark/Fuck you World and especially my Dad and Comrades But Mostly My Dad!Ichigo depictions. Which is fine, that just means I’m not the target audience. However, this is my post, and I’ll soapbox if I want to, so here’s: My Unpopular Opinion about Bleach Fanon.

Vengeful versions of him don’t make sense to me beyond an in-the-moment Hollowfied rage situation. Frankly, his struggle to commit in battle to killing Aizen really hammers in just how much he is not at all in it to hurt people. He beat Grimmjow in a fight and then saved his life while injured. He spent his entire final fight with Aizen sombre about having to kill a man whose heart he fully understood.

And yeah, I don’t really think it’s a failure of canon to not have him idk sit down with everyone he knows and say “You were mean to me”, cos I think fandom has a very selective memory and lens with which they approach a text/story.

Like, I don’t think Ichigo stumbles into relationships eyes shut, I think he is incredibly aware and able to be vulnerable. Kinda like that Doctor Who quote: “Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?” Except it’s him letting Ukitake not disclose what the badge does, not interrogating his dad on what he’s doing with Urahara, being determined to help Rukia and Orihime and frankly Renji and more in spite of their opinions on it.

Anyway, I love him.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More skilful fighting that isn’t just a big panel spread and power—sorry Kubo. More of the tactical close-combat fighting or the tricks Zangetsu taught him. Boy’s a genius, lemme see that shit.

Alternatively, would accept Grimmjow meeting DILF!Ichigo and having a conniption.

Thanks for the q, bud <3

[fem-the-artist]

Explaining AJ part 2 🦇

Ok this is mostly going to be explaining her relationships with the rest of the cast 

it all starts with Mimzy

Obviously, AJ knows the other overlords via the meetings and such but I don’t think she cared much for them and half the time she wouldn’t even show up to meetings but I’ll get into that and the second

With Mimzy being a flapper and AJ being a punk, they’re essentially both the mold breakers of their decades, which I feel like they’d be able to like bond over in a sense. Mimzy flair for stirring up trouble also gives AJ more excuses to act and violence, which is her favorite thing to do.  they’re an odd pair aesthetically, but I feel personality wise they bounce off of each other surprisingly well, what can I say AJ loves an instigator 

Speaking of instigators, a friendship with Mimzy opens the door to A.J. friendship with Alastor although friendship, feels like too strong of a word wouldn’t really call them acquaintances though idk

They already knew each other via overlord meetings. They just never interacted before it Mimzy got involved.  in pointing out they Surprising amount similarities.

Such as

• Hyperviolence

•Having a very specific unknown moral code 

•Despising, one of the vees (i’ll get into that in a second)

•Being aroace 

•Hating being told what to do 

And of course, Alastor becomes endeared to her because he’s a girls girl and AJ is a freak and those are his two favorite things 

Now about the Vees, starting off with vox 

I think it’s a really funny, running joke that Vox keeps obsessing over the aroace who want nothing to do with him (I found Alastor a little too relatable, i’m also aroace and I also have been put in the situation of ‘hey I don’t wanna date you please leave me alone’, so this is me venting a bit. because I feel like it’s way too often portrayed from the allosexual‘s perspective and how it’s sad and tragic but in reality, it’s just fucking annoying and inconvenient)

Anyway, vox is a pathetic bisexual disaster, but then again, what else is new I just think it’s really funny that his taste is the most sophisticated man you’ve ever seen and and a woman who looks like she fought her way out of a dumpster 

(also, you can tell that these sketches with Vox are older than the rest that I’ve shown because it was before I fully committed to curling Alastor’s hair just a fun little fact )

Now moving onto the V that AJ actually hates 

It’s velvet, but you of them are the youngest overlords if I had to roughly guess I’d assume velvet died around 2003 or so 

And most of their beef is really entangled in fundamentals of what they stand for

Velvet is a conformist. She participates and creates trends. She lives by the mold, and even when she’s breaking it, she’s breaking it to establish a new one valve it stands out, doesn’t stem from anything important or anything she believes, and she does it for the notoriety and the look she is fundamentally shallow and she likes it that way

AJ, of course being punk opposes all of that she breaks the mold because it is inherently flawed and believes there shouldn’t be one in the first place she’s alternative not to be cool or stand out from the crowd it’s because of what it represents for her her punk identity is deeply important to her Because when she was alive, she fought for change (she was really hyper violent about it and let her anger cloud her judgment a lot which is why she she is in hell) but that’s neither here nor there 

The point is, they are opposing forces on each other’s identities. They despise each other out of principle, and because they genuinely fucking hate each other. 

Speed round

I don’t have drawings to accompany those ones

Cherrie- has a deep respect for AJ and they also hang out and blow shit up. Sometimes they both got the punk aesthetic

The two of them, rile each other up like there’s no tomorrow  and when left alone together will do something crazy

Rosie- friend of a friend, AJ and Rosie get along fine. The only issue is they have nothing to talk about so they constantly need a third person as a buffer usually Alastor

She will take every opportunity she can get to try to dress AJ up though there’s no stopping that woman

Niffty- AJ loves getting messy Niffty has a need to clean. You can figure it out from there. 



[32flavorsotbbg]

4.6

I am really never going to be able to hold or hug or kiss izier ever again. It has been almost 3 years and I still picture us together and happy.

It’s never going to happen. I don’t want it. I don’t want him or his connection to Hannah or that baby. He’s fully ruined.

Plus he owes me 50k

I really hate that bitch and I hope he dies. That would make everything easier. I want to get to the point where he is a ghost and I am at peace with the memory.

I don’t want him, I suppose. Just whatever we had when things were good. When we were friends. Everything beautiful. We will never have that again.

I would love to spiral with someone. But in a good way. I would love to just fall into something lovely. But I have to make things happen for myself first. If I get fit and all of a sudden get attention I’m gonna lose my shit. I’m going to lose it.

I feel like love is right on the other side of those changes. Committing to taking walks in the morning and at lunch. Committing to eating cleaner, being more intentional, etc. I’ll have nothing but time when I start my media cleanse. But I can implement some changes now for sure.

Everything always feels like oh when I get here then I can start this but I can literally start whenever I just have to get up and do it. It’s so fucking annoying that even writing that, my brain starts panicking and looking for a way out.

Perhaps breaking the spell of social media is a niche. Idk.

I just want to disconnect and slough off this strange feeling. But I am high, on my period, and overate soooooo perhaps I’m just feeling icky

[charlies-palace]

I’m sending this cause you said you were here in case someone wanted to talk idk if you meant inbox or not but something’s been on my mind and I don’t really have people to talk to so

a lot of people are living out of spite and I’m glad it’s working for them but that’s never really been my thing my home life is really dangerous and school life plus medical stuff that parents and teachers are actively making worse etc and pretty much all of my life and it always has been I was never going to give up even though I’m always on the line with my situation

I thought I like warmth and softness like the feeling when someone’s pet sits in your lap or when you eat a warm meal or sit in a warm bed like the feeling of safety and also like the emotional-ness? The happy peaceful feeling and I can’t be the only person who wants it there’s so many people in the world so somebody else has got to be like looking for it in friendship and whatever and that’s why I keep going

because I just feel like it I want to survive I’ve been going because I want to be friends with those people I want friends that are all sweet like that that’s always why I’ve kept going and some new asshole president isn’t going to change that for me I was already in serious danger I was already barely hanging on and I was already fighitng to keep going this little guy isn’t going to stop me even if this is what ends up getting me in the end it’s not going to make me stop trying or anything

and now the coolest thing is every now and then I’ll meet someone or a group whose just so warm and sweet and I get so attached to the concept of just that kind of person being everywhere in my life and I think I’ve really fallen in love with like warmth and softness and that safe feeling and I was right I was right about this whole thing that like some people crave this warm safety and I’m proud and happy hell I was already proud but now I’m even happier and prouder

I just kind of wanted to say it because a see a lot of people encouraging like live out of spite because you have to and yeah! If that’s all you’ve got then do it! But I just wanted to talk about why I’m living I made a guess when I was maybe six and I’ve been going off of it ever since and I proved myself right and I’m just so proud of myself and I’m happy I’m still working on everything but I’m still proud of this anyway I figured this out so young with every adult who was supposed to help working against me and lying to me (and still doing all that garbage) but I figured it all out anyway and I thought it’s just a matter of time and it is I either go out trying or I make it and I took that and ran with it no matter what happens I did a damn good job I was a smart kid and I knew something was wrong with what people were telling me I figured this out and kept going and I promised myself if anything else ever feels off about what I think I’m never ignoring it I’m going to work through it and unlearn whatever I have to and I did I’m proud of that to of course at the time I didn’t have the words to fully like know what was happening but god I was so committed to waiting and learning and I’m so proud of myself and I’m so happy I love myself now it’s such a nice feeling I did so good

Of course I'm here. My inbox is open to anyone and everyone, always. In fact I haven't announced it yet, but I suppose now is a good time for @yourcooluncletom . It's basically an additional inbox like @your-queer-dad (sorry for the notification!).

Anyway.

I might not be able to read all of that, mostly because of the font size, but yeah. You don't have to live out of spite, but you have to live. That's all we can ask.

Much love 🫂🫂🫂

[whoblewboobear]

Tw: nsfw & SA Trauma rant 😔✌️

Sincerely trying to come to terms with being demisexual again bc I fully thought my sex fears had almost everything to do with my SA bc months before it happened I was hyping myself up to just get it over with and have sex with literally anyone.

In college I experimented a bit, dated one person and made it so clear that if we were going to have I wanted to be in a committed relationship with someone I trust. Then 🍓 cheated on me and texted the gc that it happened. We’re still friends but.. idk. That’s one thing that always floats back from time to time.

When we’d fool around it was mainly in service of her. Usually ending in me blowing her, just for her to tell me she doesn’t like eating pussy. So I never got to receive but I always gave. Even now in our friendship it’s the same. She’s with someone now, she’s happy, I’ve met her gf, she’s lovely. I’m happy for them.

I’m glad we never had sex, like very glad. Everything surrounding that relationship was fucked, it wouldn’t have been the right time. But now I’m almost 25 and what? When will it be the right time? I know sex isn’t everything but I’ve been putting in so much work to be okay with my body and people seeing it. I’ve been so fucking horny I feel like I’m coming out of my skin.

I’m tired of getting off alone and I’m tired of feeling like time is running out. I get offers through tinder and it blows always having to explain I’ve never been that intimate with someone.

It fucking blows that the only two were 🍓 and my abuser ☠️ and between the two, ☠️ was the first person to see me naked completely. 🍓 saw my tits. She made me like kissing. It was fun, exciting.

I couldn’t kiss ☠️ we were friends for years and I trusted him more than 🍓 but at the same time, it was a means to an end. I blew ☠️ more times than I can count. He ate me out and fingered me and it just sucked. He talked such a big game and I didn’t even finish. Then he came on me. Didn’t even ask either.

Afterwards he kept asking to do it again and when I finally told him I never wanted to do anything with him again he SA’d me a month later.

Like.. the fucking fear and sex repulsion after that just.. it took so long but I finally got over the sex repulsion. But the fear is still there.

I just fucking hate it especially the hornier and lonelier I get. I just want to be with someone I trust. I want to be excited for sec instead of scared. It blows bc I’ll never be able to do anything casual. I had to turn down a guy I clicked with on tinder bc he only wanted sex. Every time there’s an offer there’s a moment I’m like ‘I should do it.’

But I know it’s not what I want. I want to be in love and I want to trust them and I want them to not be upset if it takes a while. But fuck man I’m almost 25 and I feel like a child not having sex. While all my friends already have. Feels like the entire world already has. Fuck.

[poetsandmusic]

Ok so, I’m sitting on the kitchen table, just had dinner, watching tv. And i got to thinking. I’m so used to not having a romantic relationship, I’m used to pushing through alone. so, when the time comes, what the fuck will I do? When I find a person, will I be able to function without them? I’m afraid that because I’m used to pushing through alone when I find someone to hold me from time to time I’ll cling on like an addict. I’m afraid I’ll forget how to push through alone. And on the other hand. What the fuck will I do if I can’t cling on at all? What if I can never commit fully, or worse, what if it takes time and no one is patient enough? What then? Will I be always left on my own even when with someone? Will I always depend even when alone? Shit’s strange man idk

[cadaverousdecay]

yeah sure :3b

just off the top of my head;

-completely annihilates every character. i won’t be able to go through every injustice, but lucy, mina, and johnathan suffer most.

lucy, in the novel, is the heart of the crew of light. she is the one who brings them all together, and it’s their love for her and her goodness that drives them to fight against dracula. in this movie all her depth is taken away, she doesn’t seem to care much for anyone, she is promiscuous and punished for it.

there definitely is misogyny in the book, and the condemning of sexuality, but this movie takes that and turns it up aaaaall the way. in the novel, she gains her sexuality and “voluptuousness” after being turned, it’s a product of vampirism. but in the movie it paints her as fully wanting to be a victim of dracula and her getting what she deserves.

and that’s become a popular interpretation now! i have this gothic encyclopedia that talks about lucy being a narrative foil to mina in that she is the sexual, liberated woman who is punished for her sexuality. also once she is turned into a vampire, she becomes almost just an object, a beautiful spectacle to be killed off in the most entertaining way.

-mina is turned into a lovesick damsel who is now canonically draculas reincarnated wife.

in general, i’m not a fan of the reincarnated lover trope in vampirism. but applying it to dracula pisses me offffff. because 1 it’s dumb. it’s so dumb. and 2 it turns dracula into a tragic love story.

in the novel, dracula has a psychosexual infatuation with johnathan and mina. it is in no way romantic and in no way requited. a major plot point in the book is when dracula assaults mina and forces her to drink his blood and she is horrified.

if you’re going to take the horror of the book and twist it into a tragic love story where they both actually love each other but it’s…. forbidden…. because she is a repressed victorian woman and he’s… a vampire….. at this point make a new story. you’ve lost the heart of dracula. who cares.

-while we’re talking about the reincarnation love story, it’s soooo frustrating that coppola just gave dracula a random backstory where he was historical figure vlad the impaler and he committed suicide to become a vampire.

bram stoker did get the name dracula from vlad the impaler, son of dracul. that is correct. but that’s all he got. the name. he didn’t do any research past that, and becuz of that stupid movie there’s a huge misconception that dracula is vlad the impaler.

and. in trying to focus on this stupid love story between dracula and mina, they stripped johnathan of any character at all. he’s nothing in this movie. jonathan and mina, who in the book are so painfully in love, have no chemistry whatsoever in this movie. there’s disappointment in the end when she gets with him. they completely ruined him.

-also jack seward is heavily villainized for being a drug addict

-also the decision to have dracula become an ape thing instead of wolf was. stupid as hell.

-also it brings lucy and mina’s homoerotic friendship to light in the most fetishistic way ever the entire scene where they’re kissing in the rain was filmed solely thru the male gaze

-also they tried to make van helsing a badass instead of eccentric doctor

-also it’s one of the few films to include quincy morris and they don’t even bother to do anything with him

-also they ruined renfield and completely missed that he has moments of lucidity mixed in with his madness and at his heart he is weak willed and doesn’t want to hurt anyone. book renfield is such an interesting morally ambiguous complex character and they just stripped everything away for spectacle of “wow look at this crazy man in a crazy straight jacket this is craaazy”

-also the butt wig looked stupid as hell.

okay. that’s all i got from memory alone. maybe someday i’ll rewatch it and actually write down everything i hate about it but idk.. i’ve seen it twice and that’s two times too many already.

and here’s what i hate MOST about this film; coppola claims it is the most accurate version. he named it bram. stokers. dracula.

i don’t mind so much that adaptations take liberties. one of my fave versions of dracula is the 1931 movie, and that one changes sooooo much. it mixes the novel with the stage play and merges and cuts characters and scenes and all that. but it ended with a movie that, while different from the novel, is still familiar, and enjoyable.

the two times i’ve watched coppolas dracula i had to force myself through it. it’s not fun to watch. it doesnt carry any themes that interest me. the acting isn’t compelling. it’s wayyy style over substance but the style isn’t even that good. and it has the nerve to say it’s the most accurate adaptation.

fuck you francis. if i could erase one movie from existence it would be your shitty dracula movie.

i’m thinking again about francis ford coppolas dracula and getting pissed off. usually i say that from dusk till dawn is my least favorite movie cuz it sucks so bad, but to be so honest, i can just put that one out of my mind cuz it’s got nothing going for it. i’m upset that i wasted my time on it going into it knowing it was a vampire movie, but beyond that it’s whatever. but fucking coppolas bram stokers dracula pisses me offffffff. i could rant about how terrible that film is forever. and one of the WORST PARTS is that it was so influential on the dracula myth. like it ushered in an age of complete shit readings of dracula and fundamental misunderstanding of the text of the actual novel dracula while claiming to be so accurate. so yeah i think that’s actually my least favorite movie of all time

[theyarebothgunshot]

feel like I’ve sent this to u before but u know one of my favorite cockles things? sometimes when the cast/crew (even jensen himself) is pulling misha’s leg, jensen won’t fully commit to laughing at the bit until after he looks at misha and makes sure misha’s genuinely laughing or not taking it personally. misha laughs shit off a lot. he’s a really good sport about being the butt of the joke. but it obviously must wear at him at times (he’s even mentioned how he has to personally stop himself from making self deprecating jokes because it actually does affect him) and jensen’s mentioned being able to tell when something is getting under misha’s skin. so idk it’s endearing to see someone crack a joke or jensen toss one misha’s way but then see him be careful to watch misha’s reaction before deciding “okay, he’s fine with it. good, i’ll laugh.” or “nah, that was too far. pull back.” (i’m going through con panels and the 2017 one is so heavy on the jokes so jensen keeps just checking in on misha over and over. it’s really sweet).

i think ur right and i absolutely love that....

[formulawonu]

at last / daniel ricciardo

(not my gif! credits to the owner <3)

finale to these two pieces: one & two

warnings: just kinda sweet and soft all over. i cant

summary: from summer fling to maybe a forever thing. you will always find your way back to what's meant for you?!?!?!?!??! ft. daniel ricciardo

a/n: THIS MADE ME SO ,,HSUEHFIUHE TO WRITE!!! when will i ever. honestly. daniel ricciardo makes me so mushy gushy inside i honestly wish him all the best & happiness in this world. hope you all enjoy this last piece <3 i didn't get to proofread this and ive just realized IDK HOW TO REALLY WRITE HAPPY ENDINGS??? SO idk if this is how i really wanted it to end but i tried lol AND FOR EVERYONE WHO LEFT REQUESTS IM WORKING ON IT IM SO SORRY ITS TAKING FOREVER help hahaha enjoy!!!! <3 x

7:35AM

Please tell me you’re going to be at Spain next weekend. It’s a raaace weeeeekend!

You blink a couple of times at your phone, registering the content of the text message that has been sent two hours ago. Today, you are at London. Next weekend? You’d be willing to be anywhere he wanted you to be. You type out a quick reply.

9:48AM

Depends on who’s asking?

This is how you have been talking to Daniel (along with the occasional video call here and there) ever since you had bumped into each other in Italy. He had kept his side of his informal promise from the morning you had woken up to catch your flight to Norway — he had texted you right before you boarded your flight and since then you two had been talking whenever you could.

9:49AM

I’m asking!

9:49AM

Hm. I’ll have to think about it then.

You’re still trying to wake yourself up, having gotten used to waking up to messages from Daniel asking the silliest things to the more serious ones. The past race weekends you hadn’t been able to watch, despite Daniel asking you to, because you had always been busy with your job or other commitments. However, next weekend was free for you. Your phone ringing snaps you out of your slight morning daze.

“Playing hard to get so early in the morning?” The familiar Australian accent greets. He can’t see you, but your smile has made its way onto your face thanks to the voice on the other end of the line. “Just to keep you on your toes, Daniel.” You retort. “Good morning to you too.” He greets in reply.

It was the little things like this that made you appreciate Daniel’s newly established presence in your life, despite the distance that separated the two of you. He always made it a point to find his way into your otherwise normal days. Whether it be a quick picture of something that reminded you of him or a call at the end of a tiring day, he always tried to connect with you. You treasured each moment you had with him because you fully understood how busy his career made him.

“So Spain, huh? Back to where it all started. Kinda cliché, I like it.” You ask, thinking of where you had first met Daniel. “Yes! A hundred times, yes. I’d fly you out as early as possible since you seem to have a thing for early flights.” He teases. “Might just pick a later flight to rile you up.” You reply. Daniel laughs. “I think you would actually do that. Might have to pick you up myself.” “Desperate to see me?” You joke. “Desperate to have you beside me.” Daniel replies. You’re caught speechless for a few moments, not used to the seriousness that came with what Daniel had just last said. “You-“ “Oh, you’re blushing, aren’t you?” “I am not!” You say, knowing full well you’ve just lied and Daniel clearly knows this as well. “Okay, whatever you say. So, Spain? Yes? Yes? Yes? The only correct answer is yes.” You take a moment to answer, loving the feeling of knowing that he wants to see you just as much as you want to see him.

“Yes.” You finally reply.

“Well then, I’m counting the days until I see you again.”

“That is too cheesy.”

“You love it.”

Time moves so quickly you can barely register that it is Tuesday night of the next week already. Daniel had asked you to fly out Wednesday morning so you could both spend some time together before he got swallowed up by the demands of a race weekend. Thursday was media day for him then Friday until Sunday were obviously the more important parts of the hectic schedule he had. You worried a lot about how crazy it seemed to be traveling alone just to see a guy that admittedly meant more to you than you would like to admit, but everything about your story with Daniel felt insane and nearly impossible. More than the uncertainty that came with jumping into something you had no prior experience with, you were excited. Just like that last night on your little island almost a year ago, you would go anywhere with Daniel Ricciardo. Anything felt possible with him.

You couldn’t sleep at all during your flight to Spain. The reality of flying to see Daniel race suddenly felt so real to you and you couldn’t, for the life of you, think about how you were going to act when you finally saw him again. Would you hug him? Would you just wave and say ‘hello’? Daniel had told you he was going to arrange for someone to come pick you up at the airport so that calmed you down a bit, knowing that you would have more time to think about what you were going to do before you actually saw him. Baggage claim didn’t take too long since you had only brought a single suitcase and then you were off to look for whoever it was that Daniel had sent for you.

You burst out laughing the moment you see the sign. There, standing for all of the arriving passengers to see, was Michael at the exit of the airport. “For the girl who came out to watch Daniel Ricciardo race.” The sign reads.

Your cheeks are flushed and you almost want to pretend to not know who he is, but Michael says, “Y/N! Over here!” You groan and make your way towards him. “Really?” You ask, laughing. He pulls you into a hug. “Daniel said I would be fired if I didn’t hold it up.” He jokes. “Wouldn’t be surprised.” You both make your way across the road, presumably to the car you’re both taking to the hotel. You make easy conversation with Michael, asking him how he’s been and catching up on random bits of information on what he’s been doing when suddenly your breath catches in your throat.

There, leaning on a sports car, is the man you would have travelled to anywhere for. He is in a plain white t-shirt and black jeans, with his arms crossed by his chest. His curls are being moved about by the Spain wind and the crinkles by his eyes are at full force. He is smiling at no one else but you. He looks absolutely wonderful.

You don’t realize that you’ve stopped listening to what Michael has been saying because you’re smiling at no one else but Daniel too. There is barely anyone paying attention to the scene that is unfolding or maybe you just don’t notice them too, but in this moment, all you can really focus on is the man just a couple of feet away from you. “He wanted to come surprise you.” You hear Michael say. Daniel pushes himself off the car, opening his arms for you to jump into. Your steps quicken, dragging your suitcase with you. You end up letting go of your suitcase when you’re near enough to throw yourself into Daniel’s arms, wrapping your own around him. He smells just as good as he did from the last time you found yourself in his arms and he is just as snug as you remember him to be. Once again, it feels as though you both have been made to fit each other perfectly.

“Hi.” He whispers into your hair, breathing in your presence too.

“Hi.” You whisper back.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t come sooner.”

You pull away from the hug, just wanting to take in the man standing in front of you. You still don’t understand how life could turn out this way — that you could be so fortunate enough to have crossed paths with someone like Daniel. You can’t comprehend that you’ve waited so long to come back to him. You turn to Michael, who is standing behind you both. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me he was here!” You say, laughing. You take note of how one of Daniel’s arms remain wrapped around your waist, almost as if he is making sure you aren’t going anywhere. You wouldn’t. Not for anything. “Again, he would fire me if I did so.” The three of you burst out laughing. “But I’ve done my job. I’m off!” Michael adds. You cock your head to the side, confused. “What do you mean?” “Well, I’ve actually just played the part of a decoy. I have some business to attend to near this area so I came along to say hi.” “Fair enough. It was great seeing you, Michael. I’m happy to say I’ll probably be seeing you again later.” Michael laughs at what you’ve just said, probably realizing this time you aren’t leaving so quickly. “I’ll see you then.”

“You’re staring, doll.” Daniel teases as he drives through the streets of Spain. You shake your head, still taking him in. You take a mental note of the nickname he’s just called you, your heart fluttering at the sweetness of it. One hand is on the steering wheel, the other is holding your hand. He gives your hand a quick squeeze. “I still can’t believe we’ve made our way back here.” You offer, not quite knowing how to put your feelings into apt words. “Good thing?” He asks, quickly glancing at you then back at the road. “Great thing. I feel happy.” “I do too. You have no idea.”

Daniel drives you both into the less crowded entrance of the hotel you are both staying at to evade a lengthy trip into the lobby. You check in with the receptionist, who is eyeing Daniel most of the time. More than it bothering you, it pleases you even more that he doesn’t seem to notice because he is too busy discreetly drawing circles into your lower back. It seems that neither of the two of you would like to be separated any more than you need to be (quite literally). The tension building between the two of you is almost suffocating and if Daniel not being able to keep his hands off of you wasn’t enough of an indication of that, you can’t seem to get your mind off of the unforgettable nights you had with him back in Spain. The moment you are in the elevator, which you luckily have to just the two of you, he pulls you into his back, his arms wrapping around your waist. Your back is pressed flush against his body, feeling all of him.

“I’ve been wanting to do this ever since you left me on our island.” He whispers into your ear before his lips come in contact with your cheek. You smile against the feeling of his lips on you once again. This is different from your brief encounter in Italy, it feels more intense and urgent. If anything, the two of you meeting in Italy, paired with the conversations that ensued afterwards, were building up to what was happening now. “I’ve missed you so much,” Daniel continues, moving down from your cheek to your jaw. “I’ve missed you too.” You whisper, almost as if you don’t want anyone else to hear what you two are saying. This moment is between the two of you only. “I’m so happy you are here.” He finishes, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck. You are about to give in and you are just about to turn around to finally kiss him after all these months, but suddenly the elevator opens and you are on your floor. Instead, you plant a kiss on his cheek. “I am happy I am here too.”

You both enter your hotel room, your suitcase already placed near the complimentary closet by the bellhop before you had arrived. You survey your room, familiarizing yourself with where everything is and Daniel has immediately made himself at home on your bed. The sight of him, laying down in your bed as if it is second nature, makes your heart skip a beat because you so desperately wish this was something that you could have for a long time coming. “Excuse me, I don’t recall inviting you to my bed.” You tease, leaning on the wall to watch him. He looks at you then pats the space beside him. “Just wanted to make sure it was in tiptop condition. Feels great, if I do say so myself.” You make your way to the bed, throwing yourself onto the space beside him. Daniel wasn’t lying, the bed felt absolutely great. Your head sinks into the pillows and you close your eyes for a while, finally feeling like you can relax. Right now, in this moment, everything feels like it has fallen into place.

“What are you thinking?” Daniel asks, his voice finally coming from right beside you and not from over the phone. You both are lying down on your bed, simply enjoying each other’s presence in comfortable silence. You open your eyes and glance to your side, he is already looking at you. “Can’t seem to think with you staring at me, actually.” You tease. “It’s payback for the car ride. I could barely drive with you watching me.” “Once a stalker, always a stalker.” Daniel chuckles, his hand coming up to brush away hair that has fallen over your face.

“You came back.” He says, looking into your eyes. Suddenly, it feels like all of the air has been sucked out of the room and you are enveloped in a moment in time that consists of just you and Daniel. “I keep my promises. You came back too.” You reply, noticing how Daniel’s eyes are able to express much of his emotions without him needing to say anything. You wonder if he can read yours just as well. “It was difficult not to.” He confesses. “Even more so for me.” You say back.

“Then maybe we should both just stay and make life easier.” He says after a while, his smile making his way onto his face once more. You know he is not just talking about this weekend, he is talking about something more. Something more intimate — something you want just as much as he does. “I think that’s a great idea.” You reply, inching your face closer to his. No extra words necessary, you both understand what you are trying to say. “One of the best ones I’ve had in a while.” Daniel has moved his face closer to yours, the morning sunlight spilling in from the windows lighting up his features. He is stunning.

“You know what else is a great idea?” You whisper now, your lips way too close for big movements. “What?” He whispers back, your lips now brushing against each other. It is taking everything in you not to eliminate all of the unnecessary space between the two of you.

“Breakfast!” You say, planting a peck on his lips then getting up from the bed.

Daniel groans, burying his face into one of the pillows. “You are such a tease!” He says, getting up anyway. “We have plenty of time to do that later.” You reply, winking at his pouting face. Suddenly, his expression shifts. The realization that you both are not working with borrowed time anymore — that you have the promise of all weekend and maybe next weekend or even future weekdays to make up for lost time between the two of you because neither of you need to worry about when you’ll see each other next. “That we do, that we do.” He replies after a while.

And as you make your way to the hotel’s breakfast area, your hand secretly in his as you ride the elevator, you are smiling wider than you have in a while and you wouldn’t be surprised if he is too. Daniel squeezes your hand and you think you’re hearing things but you’re sure he’s just whispered it:

“At last.”