#idk why I can't just function. in the world.

[tidepoolalgae]

.

[yb-cringe]

i think whats always made me the most emotional about qsmp characters and players alike leaving is that it feels so much more. personal. a bit more gutting when it comes to the way qsmp functions.

the reason this server was made in the first place was to make connections between players that CANT happen anywhere else. or rather, are very difficult to maintain.

it's hard to consistently stay in contact with people who don't speak the same language as you. qsmp made a point to force those people to interact and everything else was just.. trying to soften the harder edges of communicating that don't happen elsewhere.

and its simultaneously beautiful and horribly horribly painful. because the world outside of qsmp isn't very accommodating. and often, as these are content creators with Lives, they don't have time to really maintain every friendship they ever make.

It's why maxo and jaiden and richas and pomme and dapper etc-- its why every death or absence from the server is so gutting. because you know when they leave, that this just /cant/ happen again.

i'm not saying this to be. doomposty. i know that's kinda what it sounds like. i think pepito said it great already; that new memories can be made and we can love the old ones.

i think what im getting at is that clawing back to a time that's passed won't make us happy, it won't take us back there. you gotta just keep moving forward. qsmp is changing a lot. it wont ever be like it was last year. that doesn't mean it can't be good later.

we're going to lose creators and characters and things that remind us VERY heavily of the times where we had friends that we drifted from or lost because of one thing or another.

but you gotta remember there will be more people who you will love too. new people, who won't fill that space but occupy something new because fun fact you don't ever run out of space for that sort of thing.

be sad theyre gone be happy they're doing well remember the memories fondly but keep moving. unfortunately a lot of qsmp has ended up being about letting things go.

its like the. 'its going to be okay. but its going to be different.' and. skdfjds idk i hope thats a hopeful enough note to make things better.

[adragonsfriend]

Use this one trick to instantly fix all childhood trauma (Jedi Masters don’t want you to know this)!!!!!

That is what every “if Obi-Wan had just— *adds one extra scene to canon* —then Anakin would’ve had perfect mental health and never listened to Palpatine at all,” sounds like to me. Look I am not an expert on any kind of psychology at all let alone early childhood development but,

It is possible to do your very best to help or raise someone and still have bad or imperfect outcomes, especially when you have someone actively, secretly working against you (cough cough Sith Lord of the month cough), (for many reasons, but in this case particularly), because unravelling the mindset built in early childhood is hard, actually.

Coming at this from the “raised in a safe and loving environment” side of things, it took me years to figure out and internalize that my friends whose parents weren’t as great as mine were functioning in an entirely different landscape when it came to their interactions with adults.

Many years ago when I was in middle school a friend (acquaintance? idk I think most people thought I was annoying) told me that her ankle kept giving out and causing her pain. I asked if she'd told her parents so she could rest or go to the doctor. She told me she had, but her mother either hadn't listened or refused to help. My (approximate) responses?

"So it's not actually that bad then?"

"You should tell her again."

"Are you sure you explained it right?"

The only explanation I could comprehend at the time was that there must have been some unclear communication about the situation or its severity--if her mother had understood she was in pain, she couldn't possibly have just not done anything about it? Adults are responsible, caring, etcetera! They wouldn't do that?!

With more experience, I've come to understand better, and learned to respond in kinder, more helpful ways, but the shift in mindset was not and is not intuitive.

And I had the luxury of figuring all that out whilst being safe myself. Coming from the other direction, being in danger and trying to figure out why other people act like the world is safe? I can't say for sure, but I imagine it’s a lot more complicated.

Point with regard to Star Wars being, it really is harder for Anakin, coming in later, to acclimate to the Jedi ways and thought processes than it is for his peers who grew up in the safe environment of the Temple. And whatever arguments people want to have about how much psychology and therapy exist in the Star Wars universe, or how much “Jedi just do cognitive behavioral therapy” (not totally inaccurate, but reductive on several levels), no matter what the answers to those questions, it will still be harder for Anakin.

There is a reason the council changes its mind on training him only after he is suddenly famous and the Sith are proven to be back. When Anakin was not in significant danger of being snatched up by someone else, it was genuinely probably the easier and safer option—for him and everyone else—for him to live a different life.

The Jedi are not necessarily fully prepared for a child with Anakin's history, and, there is nothing bad about living an ordinary life. Anakin would not have been somehow unforgivably robbed by living life as a mechanic or an engineer or something, rather than being a Jedi.

Anakin is a victim of many things in his life—Sidious, Watto, Gardulla, Tatooine’s everything, his own conscious choices—but he is not a victim of malice, incompetence, or idiocy by the Jedi just because they couldn't—in only a decade or so—help him fully and perfectly unravel the mindset he developed in his early childhood. If there was any lack of qualification on their part, it was one they were aware of—but which was outweighed by the danger of little Anakin getting kidnapped out of normal-kid elementary school.

Being brought up in and around slavery absolutely made him more vulnerable to Sidous and became the basis of their dynamic as master and apprentice. Acting like the trauma that affects his mindset and actions for his entire life can be obliterated just by making minimal changes to the plot is wild to me.

And don’t get me wrong, fics and headcanons can do whatever they want, not everyone wants or is trying to write a deep psychological character study (also fanfic and even fiction in general cannot and should not be held to any standard of realism if it's not serving the story and the author)—simple fix-it’s (my love) are fun and an excellent short-cut to other things like happiness and fluff (my other loves)—but don’t act serious about the idea that adding one conversation about his feelings or one extra explanation about Jedi philosophy would automatically lead to Anakin having perfect mental health outcomes and always making good decisions.

Disclaimer (if the ones throughout weren't enough) : please go forth and do whatever you want. the moral of this post is actually just that (1) you won’t convince me, (2) I wanted to talk about this, (3) the clickbait title was too funny not to post, (4) i literally can't open my mouth without phrasing things like i'm in the middle of a heated debate, and (5) i continue to not be an expert in early childhood development—my evidence is very literally anecdotal

[nonstoplover]

sleep without you ~ charles leclerc (cl16)

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader

song inspiration: sleep without you ~ brett young

summary: charles struggles to function properly without her by his side, or a story of a night without his girlfriend.

words: 2.1K

warnings: nothing, just fluff and a slightly clingy charles baby <3

a/n: idk why but this song honestly screams charles to me whenever i hear it, so i just had to make it happen. also this was supposed to be posted on my one year f1-aversary as celebration (well technically it should be more if counting my childhood f1 years but anyway), but i was so caught up in another wip that i couldn't do it. so happy anniversary to me and f1 (two weeks late) with this lil ficlet <3 thankful for all that f1 gave me.

big thanks to the amazing lovely silverstonesainz for helping me make this better and to the equally awesome monzabee for making me much less anxious with her words. love you sm queens!!

please, don't be a ghost reader, leave a comment or rb!

Charles spends a whole afternoon trying to convince her to have a night out with her friends. Just because they're in a relationship doesn't mean they can't have fun without the other as well from time to time. There are still a couple of weeks left of winter break, plenty of opportunity to spend time just the two of them before the season starts again. So the usual point of view, the usual reasoning doesn't stand a chance – that they should spend as much time together as they can, before he's back to travelling all around the world.

"Go to a club, grab some drinks, dance and laugh the night away", he tells her. The usual bestie coffee dates or walks in the park that she usually raises as argument are not the same as a night out, and she hasn't done that for so long now. Definitely not since he's been back home, and he knows just how much she enjoys dancing her heart out.

(y/n) agrees after a short while, accepting his reasons, knowing full well that he's right, and after a few phone calls she starts getting ready, soon walking out the front door, dressed all pretty and dolled up.

Doesn't take long before Charles realises what he's done. A feeling tingles in his chest, one he recognises swiftly. He's miserable. Solely because she's not there by his side, as he makes dinner, eats it – all by himself –, before settling on the couch to occupy himself with a movie. It doesn't matter though, he doesn't pay any attention to it. He doesn't even know what's going on, he hasn't heard a single line, too busy thinking about her.

When the credits start to roll, he switches the TV off with a surprised look in his eyes – how did it already end? He doesn't even remember the first scene ending. Then he moves into the bathroom to do his night routine, from taking a shower to putting on some skincare products, all the while wondering how long she will be out for? Will she come home soon? Hope tingles in his chest that the answer to his question is yes.

Having finished with everything, Charles lies down in bed, trying to read a book, then scrolling on social media, doing anything to keep his mind from straying over and over again back to her. He knows this is stupid, he was the one telling her to go out, why is he like this now? Lying awake on his side of the bed, the fingers on his right hand tracing figures onto the sheet where her body usually rests.

This is pathetic, Charles thinks. He never thought he would be like this, so miserable and impatient just because she's not at home, with him. He's tossing around, unable to find a comfortable position for himself – it seems like he forgot how to sleep without her. No matter how many times he's had to do just that, in hotel rooms all around the world. The past few weeks erased all those nights from his mind.

The delicious scent of her shampoo fills his lungs when his face lands just a bit too close to her pillow, and all of a sudden it's like he's burying his nose in her hair. It only makes him miss her more. Sleeping is impossible, he knows it now. He's only daydreaming, not actually dreaming, of her arriving home and being in his arms again.

Charles imagines the way she dances in the middle of the floor, her hands in the air, shouting the lyrics loudly to the song currently playing – most probably something she knows and loves –, and he can't help but smile fondly. Just the thought of her having fun is enough to make him happier, even in his misery.

He pictures a scene where a random guy tries to get too close to her, as it has happened so many times, whenever he leaves her alone for a few minutes at any club they've been to. It doesn't matter where they are, doesn't matter if they spent the night so far together, all over each other, someone comes into the picture immediately when he leaves, either to grab a drink for the two of them, or to go to the restrooms.

It's not like he doesn't understand those guys. She's simply gorgeous, and radiates such a vibrant aura that everyone is drawn to her. He honestly just finds it funny at this point. Nothing makes these men back off more effectively than her. Oh, the amount of times he bit back laughter watching the scene unfold from a distance. Seeing men crumble and disappear looking all ashamed, what a sight that is. And he doesn't have to do anything.

He wonders how many times she's had to fight off guys so far tonight, with him not even in the club, and he finds he can't wait to hear all her stories of the newest victims. Pierre never understood why Charles found it so amusing, he didn't seem to get it. The trust they have in each other. Knowing that it's him she'll come home to at the end of the night is enough to make him only feel entertained by each instance, and not irritated at the slightest bit.

But thinking about (y/n) fighting off men is only good enough entertainment for a limited amount of time, and soon the smile fades back into a miserable pout on his lips, as his thoughts turn back into ones of impatience, trying to make time move faster with short little prayers falling as mumbles from his lips.

With a sigh, he eventually sits up, looking around to find something he can do. At last he decides on grabbing a drink himself, maybe it will help stop the flow of thoughts racing in his head. A little welcomed dullness.

He takes a seat at the kitchen table, sipping on the liquid in his glass, enjoying the feeling of the light alcohol gently burning his throat on the way down, numbing his tongue along the way. His fingers stay restless, now drumming on the wooden surface. A few minutes later he realises they play a song, soundless except the soft thud of his fingertips with the occasional louder tap or little scratch of his nails when a finger finds a different angle to hit the table with.

A melody appears in his mind as he watches his fingers move, imagining how it would sound if it was his piano instead of the kitchen table. He would go sit at the beautiful, white instrument and try it, but he doesn't want to be so loud at such a late hour. And anyway, he's way too comfortable sitting where he is to stand up and go somewhere else.

He looks out the window, catching sight of the moon – almost full, just a tiny bit of it missing, and Charles examines the craters that are visible to the naked eye, though only as spots of a darker shade on the round shape.

Maybe he'll name this new musical piece that's being born in his head right now after her – well, if he ever finishes it. He'll keep the usual format, three letters of a city name and a date, only this time putting the time and place of when they first met. Or should it be the time and place of when he first asked her out? Or their first date? Or when she agreed to move in with him? God, there are way too many options to choose from. He decides to put this problem aside for now, he's not in a rush to name a song not even written yet.

As the clock on the oven changes all four numbers to display 2am, the action rouses his attention and makes him tear his eyes away from the moon and look at the numbers instead.

He would've never ever thought that he'd be like this.

Raising his glass he notices that there's only a small sip left in it, which he downs in a short moment. His tongue darts out to gather all the minuscule drops that might rest on his lips still, not wanting to waste even that much of the delicious drink. Then he stands up, placing the glass down into the sink, making a mental note to clean it in the morning before (y/n) wakes up.

Just as he ponders putting another movie on, maybe only as background noise if nothing else, his phone buzzes in the pocket of his pants. Taking his time, Charles pulls the device out, expecting nothing more than a useless notification from a social media app he shouldn't spend so much time on anyway.

Instead what he finds is a text. From her.

in a cab, be home soon &lt;3

Charles lets out a relieved sigh, his lips involuntarily curving into a smile, one that you could almost call giddy. It's not just the thought that she's going to be here soon, but the fact that she remembered to text him to let him know. He's in her mind, just like she's in his, even though she's been out with friends, having fun, drinking, while he's only been at home, all alone with his misery.

Now he can move back to bed happily, knowing that shortly she will join him.

It truly doesn't take long until Charles hears the front door creak as it opens, then the familiar jingle of her keys hitting the drawer in the hall, and his heart flutters with happiness. Finally. The high heels she chose to wear hit the floor with a soft thud as she presumably removes them, and the growing anticipation in his body seems to eat him whole.

Her steps grow louder and louder as she moves closer to the bedroom, and time slows for Charles. He watches in slow motion as she appears in the doorframe, being propped up on his elbows to have a better view, a lazy smile curling onto his face, and his eyes lidded with drowsiness.

"You're still awake?" (y/n) giggles, pausing in her steps for a second as her eyes take in the view he provides lying there. His lack of reply to her text made her think he's already fallen asleep.

"Of course," he mumbles. "Come to bed."

His voice is whiny and he behaves like an actual child, he knows, but he can't help it. He wants to sleep, and he wants to sleep beside her, feeling her warmth against his skin. That's the only way he can.

"Let me get changed first," she starts towards the closet, when a grunt of pure displeasure sounds from him along with the thump of his back as he falls into a lying position once more, making her glance back at her boyfriend. "What, can't wait a single minute?"

"No," he protests, pouting . "I've been waiting for hours."

His accent comes forth stronger when he's sleepy, and she can't help but smile adoringly upon hearing it. He's just so cute.

"Okay, fine, you'll get one kiss," she gives in. Charles resembles a lost puppy and she's sure he knows that's her weakness. She can't ever say no to anything when he looks like that.

So that's how she finds herself crawling into bed, trying to get as close as possible to the boy without causing damage to her dress. He grins, as much as his tired facial muscles allow, awaiting her lips touching his own. His pout becomes even more apparent, right until the moment he finally gets what he wants. His goodnight kiss. It's soft, slow and just so full of love it makes both their hearts flutter.

Then she caresses his cheek gently, whispering a barely audible good night, sleep tight to him, before moving back off the bed to disappear in the closet, leaving Charles to think about how he'd happily convince her again of going out if it means she'll come home to him, looking so radiant, properly buzzing with energy, eyes shining, hair messy but still looking so breathtaking. It's obvious how much it meant to her that she had this night out. He made her happy with telling her to go out with her friends, and he didn't regret it, despite all the miserable hours.

By the time she finishes her night routine and walks back into the bedroom once more, he's fast asleep, quiet snores filling the silence of the room. She bites into her bottom lip to keep in the giggle threatening to burst out, and with a heart full of adoration and a head slightly dizzy from the drinks she's had, she gets in bed beside him, snuggling up close to him, revelling in the feeling of his arms instinctively finding their way around her body even when he's sleeping.

He truly only waited for her to come home and give him a goodnight kiss to finally be able to fall asleep.

[greenerteacups]

I wonder often why Deathly Hallows as a book is so fascinated with wandcraft and wandlore, especially after the series has spent six volumes being more or less disinterested in it (with the exception of the Twin Cores plot in Book 4). A weirdly high % of the plot depends on who owns whose wand and why: the wand mixup with the Snatchers, Harry's wand being broken, Draco's wand, Bellatrix's wand, and of course, the final rigmarole over who's the "rightful master" of the Elder Wand, which ends up being a weird combination of killing/disarming/fist-fight to disarm someone who... wasn't even wielding the Elder Wand at the time he was disarmed, which begs the question of what it counts to "disarm" someone of a weapon they're not technically wielding? Also, are we to assume that Dumbledore was not disarmed once in the N years since his fight with Grindlewald? Or — here's a harder one — that Draco wasn't disarmed once between Dumbledore's death and his fight with Harry? That's plausible, but it's kind of weird that I need to believe it for the rest of the plot to make sense.

And like, I can think of a few Doylist reasons for this to be the case. The first is that JKR wants Voldemort to kill Snape in the boathouse, which allows Harry to get Snape's memories and retroactively justify why Snape's acted this way since PoA (and explain where the sword comes from in the lake in DH, too). I can think of better, more character-driven reasons for him to kill Snape (just... blow Snape's cover? reveal him as a double agent? have him try to kill Nagini? idk), but let's suppose, for subtextual reasons, she wants Voldemort to think Snape was loyal to the end. Having him die by Nagini's hand muddies the already-opaque water of what constitutes "disarming," because Nagini is a living creature. What if I drop someone into a pool of piranhas? Do I get their wand? Yeah, Voldemort commands her, but then — okay, what if I Imperius someone and make them disarm someone else? I get that it's not like DH has time for Harry to sit down with Ollivander and go through all of the tiny procedural rules for wand usage, but also, are these not relevant questions? Is this not the central mechanic of the final battle, this one piece of magic? Am I not supposed to wonder how it works?

The other reason I can imagine is that Harry wins a duel against Voldemort 1v1, which is not terribly believable unless there's some kind of magical advantage working in his favor. We know the Elder Wand's failure to execute the Cruciatus means Harry can't be harmed by spells the Elder casts, because it's his "true master." This is a really weird quirk in wandlore — why does it work this way? Is it the only wand that works this way? By that logic, shouldn't everyone Harry disarms be incapable of casting spells on him? — that emerges in Book 7, apparently for the purpose of giving Harry a buff in the final duel. Functionally, that's weird, because on a technical level it works the same way as Lily's protection — it's a reason that Voldemort can't hurt him. So why get rid of Lily's protection at all? It's not like he duels Voldemort between Book 4 and Book 7. The graveyard scene artificially hikes the stakes for Harry by making him physically vulnerable, pretty much only so he can die at the end of DH... except again, not for real, because Voldemort only ends up killing the piece of Harry that's a horcrux, so it doesn't even count!

And then Harry replaces the wand in Dumbledore's tomb. Which would be a nice moment if the lore hadn't established that anyone who disarms Harry, ever, will become the master of the Elder Wand by default. Harry knows this. He also knows that this knowledge is out there in the world; sure, Grindlewald's dead now, but do we think that Grindlewald never told anyone else about the Elder Wand? And he learned about it from somewhere, didn't he? So Harry might naturally assume that someone else would eventually come looking, in which case Dumbledore's tomb is far from the safest place to put this equivalent of a wizarding nuke. (Not that it seems to be all that powerful anyway; the coolest thing it does is fix Harry's other wand, and we're left wondering why the Elder Wand is considered "unbeatable" when people who own it seem to be getting disarmed all over the fucking place.)

Also, in retrospect, this makes it incredibly odd that Dumbledore allows Draco to disarm him, because he's giving the Wizarding Nuke to a 16-year-old servant of Lord Voldemort. Suppose that he's trying to prevent Snape from getting the wand, because he doesn't want Snape to be a target: okay, fine, but does he know Draco's going to give Snape credit for the kill? What if Draco lies? What if LV just... accepts the fact that the wand recognizes Expelliarmus as a point of transfer, and either disarms or kills Draco? And in any case, no matter what the answers to these questions are, why didn't he just ask Harry to disarm him before he went to the lake?

I'm usually not one to be an asshole about plot holes — mostly because, taken by themselves, I don't find them that interesting — but they become interesting to me when I see several of them in the same vein, because they tell me that the author's trying to do something. And they want to do it so badly they're willing to strain other parts of the story to make it happen.

[kurogane2512]

I see so many breeding fics with some family-oriented characters like Childe, Arlecchino etc but rarely ever with Signora.... Ya'll can't tell me she wouldn't be into it. Okay, granted she wouldn't want it immediately but HEAR ME OUT

I very much believe she wanted to have a perfect little family with Rostam but ofc it never happened. Then eventually her body lost the functionality (could be due to liquid fire or just ageing as she's literally 500+). Then due to all the tragedy she became completely untouchable as a Harbinger and suppressed these 'maiden' desires but.... what if she starts thinking of them again when she finds new love? UGH IDK I JUST WANNA BREED HER SDOHWOEIFHWF

Fluff + Smut below

Reader has a cock but no gender stated (I imagine g!p but others are also welcome)

It was another cold winter night at Snezhnaya when you returned home from work. You were exhausted and wanted to immediately rest, you opened to door to your room only to be met by an unexpected yet pleasant sight.

"Oh, welcome home, my love~" your partner, Signora, the 8th Harbinger of the Fatui was already back and currently undressing herself in your shared room. You watched her dress slide down her exquisite body as soon as you entered and almost became flustered despite having seen her that way plenty of times by now.

"Ah, sorry, I should have knocked...." you averted your gaze and she simply chuckled before beginning to walk towards you, a small smirk adorning her beautiful face.

"Well, you came back at the perfect time. I was just going to take a bath so...." she paused before sliding her hands down the lapel of your coat and leaning in to whisper seductively, "Care to join in?~"

All the exhaustion from before suddenly vanished as you speedily undressed and walked in the bath together with her. The tub was already filled with warm water, a scented bath wash and rose petals. Signora stepped in first and sat on one edge then pulled you inside and made you sit in her embrace, your back facing her as you comfortably rested back on her body.

You relaxed together as the warm water seeped in your skin and rejuvenated you, complimented by the feeling of your lover's presence and touch. Signora wrapped her arms around your waist and rested her chin on your shoulder followed by planting soft kisses on it, you giggled from the ticklish feeling and she only continued doing that more to tease you.

"How was your day, Rosa?"

"Mm, just the usual.... Jester still doesn't allow me to take field missions, says I need to continue resting and that others are handling them...." she sighed in dejection then cuddled into you.

"Do you feel bad?"

"Certainly, I understand why he says that but it just makes me feel worse...."

She sighed again and embraced you tighter before continuing, "But at the same time, it's not so bad. I get to come home early and spend time with you more~"

She pecked your cheek as you chuckled together. La Signora would have never said that until a few months ago, nothing mattered to her over her mission and Tsaritsa's dream. She was a ruthless and untouchable Harbinger of the Fatui, the people who had sworn their life in service of their Queen. Such frivolous moments of pleasure and indulgence were useless to her, yet she could no longer ignore the feelings rising in her recently.

She pondered about your current situation, the way you were lying in each other's arms in a warm bath with no care of the outside world. Everything felt perfect. She could never picture this scenario for a long time, she knew her life was drastically different. Yet, the bliss and relaxation of this moment caught up to her. She could picture a life with you, living together as any ordinary family even when there was nothing ordinary about you both.

Her thoughts almost scared her, how could she? How could she have these feelings again? She was supposed to have forgotten them, she was supposed to have embraced the pain she suffered and look forward to a future the Tsaritsa promised. But she could no longer ignore the beating of her heart right now as she pictured you both living together somewhere faraway in a little house of your own, with a perfect family of your own....

"Y/n, I wanted to ask something...."

"Hm, what is it?"

She remained silent for some time which caused you become worried, you sat up and turned to face her and saw a rather serious look on her face.

"Rosa? Are you okay?"

She nodded then spoke, "....Have you ever thought of having.... children with me?"

The question surprised you to no end, your eyes becoming wide in shock.

"W-Why this all of a sudden....?"

Her brows furrowed, "Just answer.... Do you want to have a family with me?"

You fumbled on your words, "I-I mean....Uh, y-yes I do but family doesn't necessarily require...c-children, you know?"

"Then.... you don't want children with me?"

"T-That's not what I meant! I-I...." you trailed off and struggled to reply, unsure of what was happening. You looked at her expression which was filled with a strange sense of longing and affection, something you had never seen on her before.

"....Ideally, yes, I would want to have a family with you, a proper family but...."

"But?"

"I know it's not possible and I don't want you to blame yourself or anything, I accepted our situation long ago and am perfectly fine with the way things are...."

Signora's eye widened now; of course, how could she forget? How could she forget the limitations of her own body, one of the many prices she had to pay for her sins. How could she even for a moment think she was deserving of wanting that perfect life?

"R-Rosa, what happened? Why did you ask that?"

You became increasingly worried as she stayed silent and looked down, you had no idea why she had this thought now of all times. You were well aware of everything that had happened to her and how her current condition was, you had accepted it all the moment you fell in love and never thought of anything more. Yes, a perfect family life would indeed be ideal but you never bat an eye to it.

"I...." she finally spoke and looked up to meet your gaze, her eye filled with tears which she held back from falling then suddenly lunged forward to embrace you tightly.

"I imagined that life with you.... living together as a family, away from all these things, doing simple jobs, having children and raising them together....and much more." she confesssed her deepest desires and you were speechless.

"....Did you want all of this in the past? Before.... things turned the way they did?"

"Somewhat. I never pictured it too far but.... I suppose it was the dreams of a young maiden heart who fell in love with a knight, to gaze upon each other and think of a future together...."

Your grip almost tightened hearing that, you understood what she wanted to say.

"But I no longer think of it that way.... I hadn't had these thoughts until recently and now I think of you in them, even if it's not possible anymore...."

She cupped your face and lovingly gazed at you with a small smile before kissing your forehead, "I'm sorry for this, you don't have to brood over it. Just.... think of it as a silly little thought."

She let go of you and proceeded to step out of the tub then dry herself with a towel, you pondered for a moment then stepped out as well and suddenly hugged her from behind.

"....Let's do it then."

Signora was caught by surprise, "What? What are you saying, Y/n?"

"I'm saying let's do it. Let's have the perfect life you want."

"B-But, Y/n—"

"I know, I know what you want to say. And I mean.... let's have that experience at least, that feeling.... Even if in the end nothing would change, we can still experience the feeling a little."

Signora was shocked at your proposition but pondered over it a little before turning around to passionately kiss you, "Yes, let's do it."

The next few moments happened in the blink of an eye as you two made your way over to the bed while kissing and clawing at each other. Neither of you required any prep time, you were needy and desperate enough that she was soaking down her thighs and your cock was throbbing hard. This wasn't going to be your usual session, no matter how passionate and hardcore your previous sessions had been, this was going to be completely different.

"Do it deep and hard, Y/n. Breed me like you mean to, impregnate me like you would!"

She pleaded while holding you close, your cock rubbing against her eager folds. Hearing those words only made you want to do it more, you wanted her to feel what she wanted. You pushed inside soon after, penetrating her hot walls and sliding to her deepest parts. She arched up feeling you push so deeply, her legs dangling over your shoulders to give you the best angle.

You didn't have to be fast, you only wanted her to feel you deeply and understand how much you wanted this. Your thrusts were moderate and controlled but everytime you made an effort to push deeper than before, to explore the spots you had never touched before. Her angelic moans resounded in your ears, your hands fondled her supple breasts and you leaned down to suck her hardned nipple, causing yourself to push deeper.

She gasped at the feeling, your hard and thick member was filling her up so well. It indeed felt different than your previous sessions, perhaps it was really due to the fact that the purpose right now was different. You pushed her legs closer to her chest, folding her in a mating press as you angled even deeper and continued pistoning in and out.

"Yes! Yes! Do it, my love! Cum in me! Give it all to me!"

She chanted her sinful thoughts as if she was lovestruck, you cock splitting her open then suddenly felt a rush of hot and thick liquid fill her insides. She arched up as you filled her up with your seed, pushing in every single drop and ensuring none fell out.

"More! Y/n! Do it more! I want you inside more!"

You needn't be told twice. You flipped her to lay her on the stomach and she automatically stood on all fours and you hilted deep in one go. You moaned at the contact together, her back arching down as you began pounding deep and hard. This position was even better than before, you were deeply connected with each other and no obstacles were in your way.

"Aah!~ Yes! Right there! Yes! Mmmmm!~"

You grinned looking at her figure, she was moaning out so messily and needily, nobody could imagine her this way. You suddenly held her hands and pulled her up to make her stand on her knees and hugged her close, your face being buried in her neck as you continued thrusting. She almost whimpered feeling you inside, your right hand roamed down her abdomen and pressed on a particular spot as you slowed down your movements but still kept going deep.

"Feel it here.... Touch it, feel where I am~" you whispered, making her move her hand to the same spot as well and she could feel it, your cock was making a small buldge every time you thrusted. She couldn't describe how she felt at that, she could see how deep you were, feel the lining of your cock deep inside her as you pounded into her. She wanted this forever, she wanted this so much.

Your hands were busy playing with her breasts now, pinching on her pointed nipples. She moaned so loudly, breathless gasps leaving her lips as she couldn't take her hand away from that place. Her other hand looped around your neck and pulled you closer, giving you the chance to kiss and suck on her neck.

"Aah...I told you, Rosa.... I'll give you that feeling.... Do you like it? Mhm~ Is this what you wanted?~"

"Yes! I feel you so deep! I love you, Y/n! I love you so much, my darling! Keep going! Fill me up all night!~"

Well, if she kept being this way then you could indeed go all night. She was irressitble to you, so tempting and captivating. You let go of your hold on her and pushed her down in an arch again, roughly gripping her hips and squeezing them as you fastened your thrusts. You came another bout, thick ropes of cum painting her insides and filling her up once again. But you were far from over, and she knew that too- she wanted that.

You ended up in so many positions all night, tossing and turning each other and finding yourselves all entangled with desire. She was now on top of you, straddling your lap as you rested on the bed and she wanted control now. She aligned your hard cock with her cunt and pushed it all the way in, immediately touching her deepest part. And she wasted no time to grind and bounce on your cock, she wanted to milk it dry and have every last drop of your cum inside her.

You gripped her waist and thrusted up as well, a delicious rhythm forming of your bodies. She then leaned forward and deeply kissed you, your tongues intertwining messily before leaning back and continuing to ride you. Her walls had a deathly grip on your cock, it was evident she was going to keep you inside all night. You had lost count of your orgasms, the amount of times you came inside her but she was ready to still hold more.

"Mmmm~ Cumming, my love... Aaaah... Y/n! Together.... come on, inside me! Breed me!~"

And yet another spurt of cum deep inside her, she too came at the same time and arched back with a loud guttural moan. Your bodies were still connected, you sat up and embraced her as you breathed out together. You nuzzled into her neck and she softly caressed your hair, the feeling of your cum drip down made her feel euphoric.

"I love you so much, Y/n... Thank you for this." she whispered in a low voice and you smiled to yourself before suddenly turning over and placing her on the bed, your dick still inside.

"We aren't done yet, I still have lot more to give. You'll hold it in, right?~"

She smirked then pulled you down by your jaw, "Who do you think you are talking to? That's not even a challenge for me~"

[bitterchocoo]

Hey ! I have seen you write for Twisted Wonderland ?👀

Can I ask for Ignihyde or Diasomnia students with a boy [friend or not, you choose] who is like Sherlock (from BBC if you have watch) ? I just know he will try to understand how overblot work and why there is a lot of overblot-

Ignore it if you don't want to write it ! And have a good day ! Or night ? Idk when you will see it (if you see it)-

The Game is On!

Ignihyde Students | M. Reader as Sherlock Holmes [BBC]

----------

"I’m not a psychopath, Anderson. I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research!"

----------

The day [Name] Holmes has entered Night Raven College was the day Azul had become even richer.

Ever wonder if your crush likes you back? Or maybe you wanted to know yourself better? Or perhaps you wanted to know if your partner's cheating on you? Well look no further than the Mostro Lounge!

Being stranded in a different universe, [Name] merely sees it as an opportunity to gain more information and funding. This whole new world is so much more interesting than his previously awfully predictable world.

Which then led to Ignihyde's Housewarden's first encounter with the high-functioning sociopath. At first Idia found it skeptical that someone could have the ability to see right through everything and anything. Until [Name] had read him like an open book in their first meeting.

To say that Idia was traumatized by the sudden exposure is an understatement. But after calming down, he can't help but think on how similarly [Name] acts with one of the characters in the anime he watched. Cough Moriarty the Patriot cough. But nonetheless, the two of them soon bonded and became close with one another.

Before long, [Name] was introduced to Ortho and his interest was immediately peeked by Idia's "younger brother."

Although school life is as boring as his world's. It's just the same thing but with magic and stuff... but all of a sudden these things called "Overblot" showed up? Oh he got to know what this is about right away!

----------

Idia Shroud

"Um.."

"Shh."

He instantly shut up the moment he was hushed by the other. Just when he decided to leave his room and visit the Ramshackle for a change. Idia was greeted by a sight he never thought he would ever see in his life! [Name] pacing around his room with two hands together placed underneath his chin and the elephant in the room.. His room was filled with papers and stings attracted on the walls!

Idia thought that his room is messy but this is just on another level!

Newspapers, printed out articles, [Name] own illedgiment handwriting, etc. Every single wall is covered in it with some strings connecting some parts.

This thing. This "Overblot."

Why did it happen? Is it because of intense emotions? Negative or positive? Does it really matter? And why do they show up in a blob, ink-like thing? The stain on the gems of their pens? Is this common? Or are they something one has to go through once in their lives? Like puberty? So many questions. So little time.

Idia could only sit and watch as [Name] drove himself insane. He knew that S.T.Y.X. is also trying to figure this whole Overblot out too. But seeing how unhinged [Name]'s acting while also trying to figure out the same thing his family is doing is just concerning. It drove Idia to the edge just how... [Name]'s acting..

There's a thin line between inquiry and insanity. And [Name] is using that line like a freaking jump rope!

----------

Ortho Shroud

[Platonic]

The day the high-functioning sociopath saw Ortho. His interest is peeked. A robot? That acts like a human? Even back in his world this would've taken years maybe even centuries to accomplish with how incompetent the human kind is! Therefore, [Name] would ask Ortho multiple questions within the span of a minute. I live for Sherlock's rapid fire deductions and questioning.

And how [Name] loved it when Ortho answered each and every question without him needing to repeat himself nor explain it. Ortho's happy to help whenever he can! He was so happy that his brother made a friend!

Whenever he saw [Name] pacing around like a mad man. Ortho tries to help by either reducing [Name]'s burden and helping him to make deductions and hypotheses or by simply bringing snacks and reminding him to rest.

While Idia looks at [Name] with a nervous and unsure expression. Ortho steps in by suggesting that maybe he should rest. "[Name] maybe you should take a nap! If you do, your productivity will go up by 10℅ or maybe even more! And since you're energized, you could be more focused and—"

"I'll rest once I've figured this out."

Oh boy. This is going to be a long day for the three of them huh..

[waechan]

meeting jeno for the first time (in the rain)

pairing: jeno lee x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst

wc: 551

notes: third part to my meeting nct dream for the first time! you guys have been really liking this series, ty for all the love<3

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

you just wanted to go home.

you were freezing, slightly wet, and barely covered by your tiny umbrella. you had just attended a job interview that you had totally bombed (and not in a good way).

standing on the curb of the street, kind of in the middle of nowhere, you sigh as you wait at the bus stop for the bus to come and take you back to your warm, soft, cozy bed.

water was hitting your face in light sprinkles, and your long slacks were soaked at the bottom.

you hated adulthood.

squatting at the curb to rest your legs, you let out a groan.

"ugh." you complain as your knuckles tighten around the hook of the umbrella, frustrated at the world.

"you okay over there?"

you hear this to the right of you, and you turn as you see a man standing there, then moving over to squat right down next to you.

there was something about him that made you much calmer inside. he looked like a naturally happy, positive guy. and boy, was he cute, but now was not the time.

you push the thoughts away, and blush in immediate embarrassment as you nod, looking down at the floor in front of you.

"i'm just really tired. had a bad day, is all." you admit as you let out a chuckle.

"ah, i see." he says as he nods. he smiles at you though, and you can't help but smile back. his eyes would crinkle into crescents, and it really wasn't like anything you had seen before. "are you headed home?"

you nod. "yes, just waiting for the bus."

he tilts his head in confusion.

"um, the bus?"

"yeah, isn't it coming in about 5 minutes? route 37, right?" your eyes widen as you put your hand up. "no, no, don't tell me-"

his eyes widen a bit. "oh! well um, it doesn't- function of saturdays..."

your heart drops and you feel it clench in immediate frustration.

"oh god." you grumble as your grip on your umbrella loosens, and it drops beside you. you let out yet another groan, not even bothering to pick it back up. "why does shit like this always happen to me."

you try to play it off as a joke, but it doesn't deliver like you wanted it to at all. tears start to prickle at your eyes, but the soft rain sort of helps you feel better.

his gaze softens, and he raises his umbrella, putting it over you to try to help. you shake your head.

"it's okay, i actually like the rain. helps clear my thoughts." you mumble into your arms as you rest your head against them.

you hear rustling beside you, and you look up as you see him closing his own umbrella, and letting the rain hit him, his shirt getting darker with each raindrop.

concern flashes over your face, and you touch his arm gently. "what are you doing? you're gonna get sick!"

he chuckles as he shrugs.

"it's alright, i like the rain too."

he reaches out and brushes a strand of wet hair out of your face, scanning your face to make sure you were okay.

"i'm jeno, and i know we just met, but...trust me to let me take you home?"

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

i hope this came off as cute! idk i just see jeno as a really pure and kind soul

[eldritch-spouse]

https://www.tumblr.com/eldritch-spouse/752304229892358144/minors-dni-hhnrh-ive-always-wanted-to-make-a?source=share

I need more Rudy. Like .. it's a very strong need...please I'm begging you 😭

[HhhhnHHHNN WORD VOMIT INCOMING-]

Following the events of what transpires in the comic "Aliens: Stronghold" (you can find it online), Jeri the synthetic xenomorph is supposedly dead, as is Doctor Nordling. The Mayakovsky prototype records along with whatever modifications Nordling created are lost forever...

But are they?

What if a somewhat less insane crew managed to perhaps gather parts of the wreckage that ensued, studied them just enough to know how to make their own, different yet still entirely functional synthetic xenomorph? A crew that does value the monitoring of xenomorph colonies spread throughout the worlds wherein these hives are placed upon to gestate, and polices the illegal harvesting of eggs or specimen (idk, bare with me okay).

The model they designed, based heavily on Jeri, needed a couple key modifications. First, it needed to be distinct enough from the standard xenomorph drone, such so that people would not get frightened by the sight of it amongst crewmates. These differences in appearance are remedied by even more aggressive pheromone secretions to both fool and calm biological xenomorphs into believing that Rudy belongs. His somewhat less accurate appearance also allows for his maintenance to be cheaper, as well as for the synth to fit into humanoid gear more effectively.

Named after the prototype Norbert, and Jeri, Rudy only seemed fitting.

Quite like his predecessor, and as appears to be a trend recently, Rudy has a very stark and unique personality that shows itself whenever he begins to grow comfortable around someone. He's curious and talkative, having a fondness for oversharing about the xenomorph species and its many casts, as well as his interests in collecting new and exciting pieces of the world he's currently exploring with his mostly human crew and all things nature-related.

Although he's nothing if not helpful and vital to the work that is being done by this team, Rudy is still a synthetic, which creates a natural divide when it comes to forming relationships. Normally, this divide is somewhat softened when a synthetic passes as human and performs actions that make it look even more relatable. Rudy is visibly, unavoidably monstrous, and he makes no real attempt to fit in with acts that are strictly human. He will sit at the table while others eat, but he's very clearly not interested in commenting on the food and tries to pull others into conversation instead. He doesn't wear clothes, he can't facially emote anywhere as intricately as a human can.

He's lonely. And he understands why.

But it's painful for the synthetic xenomorph, because he feels no joy dwelling with other synthetics, and he can't bond with xenomorphs the way he desires. He feels at home around humans, and his own crew keeps him at bay, frustrating Rudy as they consistently deny him a real connection- Sometimes even subconsciously!

That's where you come in.

Following the unfortunate accident of the resident synthetic engineer on the ship, you are assigned his role. Arriving just in time, as Rudy is in dire need of assistance from miscalculating the height of a drop. He doesn't think much of you, at first. You'll be just like the others, finding him interesting for a short while, then resorting to formalities or simply ignoring him when he's not immediately convenient.

But he still tries anyway, because he's painfully desperate for connection.

Imagine his shock as you seem very interested in conversing with him in a consistent manner. Rudy is no idiot, he understood your interest was mainly to understand the circuitry and coding within him that allowed for such an authentic and varied range of emotions, sentiments. He fascinated you beyond merely being a bizarre thing, and that made the synth happy, fulfilled.

Rudy began to latch onto you.

When he had arrived from a routine check on a hive, he'd instantly seek you out without even needing any kind of repair, just to chat about his findings, talking about the specimen xenos the same way you'd talk about zoo mascots. He'd try to drag you down into the field with him numerous times, formulating rapid-fire arguments as to why the supervisors should allow you to accompany Rudy. You can't lie and say that you weren't a tad curious, especially after hearing the xeno's numerous stories.

Somehow, after perhaps not so friendly methods, he gets granted his wish, and down you go, into the wilderness, with a synthetic.

Rudy seems elated to have alone time with you in the nature of this vast planet, and you note that he touches you a lot more often. Grabs you with his six fingered hands, nuzzles his dome against your head, hugs you from behind and even lifts you a couple of times, he's utterly euphoric, something you've never seen in a synth. Sure, your crewmates had made comments about how close Rudy had gotten to you, how the synthetic "had a puppy crush on you", but those were just jabs you didn't mind taking. And surely, when Rudy replied positively to those jests, he was only trying to get in on the joke, right?

You remember the shock and fear that permeated you as you first entered a colony. Rudy didn't let you get too far into the structure, but you got to observe the entrance, the little resting holes on walls that xenos occupied when drained. You got to see drones marching around, dragging potential hosts with them. And you even got "checked" by a soldier cast. It had been strange then, watching Rudy communicate back and forth with the xenomorph, effectively clearing you of suspicion after a few snort-hisses. Your heart never beat so loudly before, and you remember laughing wildly with the synthetic after the two of you had retreated into safer grounds.

Yet, for as much as you had grown to enjoy having Rudy as a friend, you couldn't ignore the remarks your crewmated had been making about him. How the synth would ravenously defend you from the smallest of accusations, how he collected everything you left behind and would even steal presents you gave to others. He became mouthy and troublesome when they refused to let you go explore with him.

And lately, to make it all even more confusing, you've been finding him "doing maintenance" on himself. Things he won't let you access, that he tries to deviate your attention from. For just the glimmer of a second, you hope you only imagined spotting the digital blueprint for a set of modified synthetic genitalia...

Something's not right with Rudy, you think, catching him staring intensely at you again.

[talaricula]

I'm seeing lots of speculation in the wake of the unwanted guest about whether absorbing Loveday's soul is what made Cytherea snap and sure, I see the theory, but personally as a cancer survivor I have never ever questioned why Cytherea snapped

Cancer is an existentially terrifying, often debilitatingly painful and/or exhausting illness, that, if not cured, takes over your body bit by bit, gets into the highly essential bits which increases the suffering and/or fundamentally changes you as a person, makes you extremely vulnerable and dependent on others, and almost inevitably kills you unless you get it when you're old enough and die of old age first instead. Its treatment is often just as painful and exhausting as the illness, or even more so, and doesn't always work. When you have cancer, there are two ways out: being cured (preferable) or, when that is not an option, deciding for yourself when you have reached the point where the suffering is so bad and the outlook so non existent that you would rather die now rather than later after even more and worse suffering.

And John took both of those options away from Cytherea and from her entire line of descendants. When he had the option to cure them all all along. Idk about y'all but the revelation in Nona that John could cure cancer was the number one earth shattering realisation for me. He did this to her, and to the entire Seventh House, on purpose.

This is the first giant betrayal to me. For generation after generation, for TEN THOUSAND YEARS, this man let the heirs of the Seventh House be sick for functionally their entire lives, likely starting in childhood, go through an incalculable amount of painful and exhausting experimental treatments bc he didn't even bring modern medicine into his New Order, and die in their twenties or thirties at best, when he could have STOPPED THIS ALL ALONG with little more effort than snapping his fingers.

Second big betrayal is towards Cytherea herself, but basically the same point : he could have cured her at any time. Before she became Lyctor, possibly, since we're not sure how static Lyctor bodies are, but Mercy's powers, Harrow's lobotomy and Ianthe's arm suggest that it would have been an option afterwards too. And he didn't. He let her have cancer for TEN THOUSAND years without curing her. And he calls himself her friend. Absolutely fuck that bastard.

Third big betrayal is the same betrayal that he inflicts on all the other Lyctors, but imo worse bc of Cytherea's illness. It seems from the books that Lyctors are, if obv not functionally immortal, at least Very Difficult to kill. Consequently, John demands Cytherea's loyalty not only in the form of killing the person she loves the most in the world, but in the very same act, in the form of cutting off the One escape route she has left out of the suffering he's purposefully keeping her in. In short, he takes the one person away from her who she perhaps doesn't resent depending on and, in the same act, makes it A Lot more difficult for her to choose euthanasia. (There's meta in this about the deeply realistic and also Terrifying ableism of John "admits openly that he'll pay any price so the people he loves can't leave him" making his sick friend dependent on him by keeping her sick, taking away her (arguable) main caretaker and cutting her off from the option of leaving him by dying.)

And at the same time that the other Lyctors realise John's betrayal re: their cavaliers, Cytherea potentially realises ALL OF THIS. TEN THOUSAND years of suffering, of seeing her House suffer, on top of losing the person she cares about the most, and ALL OF IT was avoidable, and not just avoidable but EASY TO AVOID? Is it any wonder she went on a rampage to bring down John and everything he cared about and had worked towards, and that she didn't care about dying at the end (or, perhaps, was even counting on that outcome)? I had cancer (as an aware adult) for a year in the best imaginable circumstances and am still fucked up about almost a decade later. After TEN THOUSAND YEARS and learning there had been another option all along, I'd have done WAY WORSE than Cytherea. I really don't think she needed to absorb anyone's soul to get there. It is, in my opinion, a deeply understandable and realistic reaction.

[olderthannetfic]

More on LJ

That post is already long af, so here are my thoughts on replies:

Also, a feature that a lot of people liked and miss on tumblr are the communities. You could argue the tags kind of serve as the same but… idk.

olderthannetfic well, tumblr is apparently about to introduce a community feature. Do you have any interest in trying it out?

Yup! I wasn't as into communities as a typical LJ user, so I often forget to talk about them, but having a central place that isn't a site-wide tag makes a big difference. You can't kick bad actors out of a tumblr tag. The mod of a com can.

I'm intrigued by Tumblr's new feature. We'll see how it works in practice.

I submitted a fandom history/meta community. I have no idea what their moderation process looks like.

i miss anon kinkmemes :(

Yeah, tumblr isn't great for those. Dreamwidth is where they live these days.

The threaded comments aren't essential for fandom meta discussions, no matter what people used to think...

But they are more or less essential for certain other functions, like kinkmemes.

I do also think some of the change came about from the devices primarily used to access the platforms. Back in the day, monitoring software wasn't an issue, so you got away with using work or school computers. LJ and its threaded format was easy to navigate on a computer. On a phone, the UI didn't quite translate (without a good understanding of mobile CSS). So, image heavy and scroll-based UIs became the norm.

Agreed. DW comments are a pain to expand on mobile. Or at least they were. I haven't been on DW much in a few years, and I know they were working on their mobile

And I think it was just a better time for the Internet in general, before world governments starting running psy op campaigns at scale and before everything was an addiction based ad revenue model and before venture capitalists had their hands in every big site

I'm not quoting all of your comments (people should go read them on the other post), but yes, yes, and yes! LJ had an older internet vibe in a good way, and it not being a cash grab originally is a big part of why.

[oneslimybastard]

Another underutilized aspect of N, Natural Harmonia Gropius himself, is that he's conceptualized as not just a Math Guy, but a Math Genius if we go by some interview trivia notated on Bulbapedia.

It clearly shows in the way he speaks since his (translated) dialogue (idk about the original japanese one) is full of hamfisted references to formulas and frustration expressed when the chaos of the world does not align with them — which to me is like, the core of his character, something that makes him both An Asshole to deal with but also a very intellectually curios and creative individual. It's just a brand of creativity not a lot of people can keep up with nor understand.

N likes math because a lot of math is about clearly defined variables and their relationship to one another. If you come across an inconsistency that doesn't fit any prior definitions, you iron out a new definition and suddenly the field has expanded upon itself tenfold. It aligns with how his Very Autistic Brain functions, x + y = z, if I do x to y then z will happen. If z doesn't happen, then that just means I have to identify the hidden variables within the exchange and rewrite the formula to be more accurate.

Black and White's quality of writing is. Like pokémon often is. Questionable at best. The foundations are there but the execution is dumbed down and corny because it's still aimed at kids, BW in specific really cutting the theme of pokémon trainer ethics short in favor of just "dang u beat me in the pogiebattle guess ur right!". How-ev-er. In my head, and the reason why I still find the plot of those games compelling (aside for my unhinged thirst for goth man-milf Ghetsis) is that to me they're about local cult-raised autist Normal Henry Gropus bashing his head against the world over and over to desperately try and make the formulas make sense, to distill it into variables he can understand and predict on a consistent basis, and failing miserably at it. Because even if the world is Technically made up of a bunch of chemistry that you could, in theory, predict, there's just a lot of random noise in there from microscopic complexities that fuck everything up.

Pokémon are simpler creatures (discounting the eerily intelligent ones) who will be nice enough to behave like math problems most of the time. Humans rarely extend that grace, the more N studies them like a science project the more contradictory variables pop up. They have a million thoughts in their head he doesn't have access to, that brew into feelings he doesn't understand, which leads to actions he can't do a proper traceback through. Which is frustrating, devastatingly frustrating. At least at first.

Due to how BW2 pans out and my own yearning for thematic mirroring, whereas Ghetsis gives in to the Autistic Bitterness over all these NTs he doesn't fuckign understand, I like to think N develops a sort of joy in studying people like the impossibly complex math problems we are. Because he likes math, he likes figuring shit out, he likes buying a nightmare rubik's cube and charting the squares out on a nightmare variable graph (listen i am not a math guy. i respect the hustle but my skill level is too low to accurately attempt to simulate the process in writing. im sorry math guys) so he has a home-made flexible cheat code on how to solve any possible mix-up of it. It's fun for him, it stimulates his brain and he is so stupid good at it that he can only share that joy with like a stray alakazam or metagross because he's a bit of a tarzan just hanging out in the wilderness, he doesn't know any high end mathematicians he can casually geek out about combinatorial game theory with, and the normies just do not get it .

I think this math enjoying is kind of a big part of his ~Innocence~ as well, since there's a lot of childlike glee to being a Math Guy. It's the love of problem solving as a process rather than a means to an end, it's playful, but severely misunderstood to the point where people kinda might assume things about you if you are a math guy.

N's love of math helps him love the world but it also isolates him. He's a genius, but since he can't communicate it in a palatable way it'll get overlooked in favor of him just being a loomy weirdo on the street chatting up the local patrats.

If introduced to DnD though he'd spend so much time on forging ridiculously optimized multiclass builds, then migrate to digging through old obscure sci-fi ttrpgs from the 80s with hellishly complex systems just for the funsies of learning how the presented variables behave within a variety of frameworks, but then if you actually invited him to play with your group he'd look at you like you'd just called his mom a llama.

He's a neat guy to me, STEM guy who's also one of those animal rights activists who's a little too PETA-coded, I like him :)

[mylittlesecrethaven]

Yandere Malleus Headcannons

This just came into my head one day.

It might not make sense.

But I hope it does.

(Omg warning, I'm so fucking sorry. I made this so much darker than I meant to. Um... TWs I guess... Uh... general yandere stuff, nsfw stuff, mentions of scars, mentions of burning, mentions of bleeding, there's some stuff about being tied up, amputated legs, mentions of amputated arms, dick horror, and forced pregnancy. I think I covered them all. Lemme know if I missed anything)

Every day is the same, and yet always different.

You always do something with Malleus.

And you always have to keep your eyes on him.

Great Seven forbid you ever look at anyone else.

(The screams will never leave your dreams)

Yet, he always finds somewhere new.

A new garden, a new cafe, a new park.

But you're never really allowed to do anything.

You sit.

You watch.

You smile when Malleus looks at you.

(After all, this pain is better than the pain he gives)

You say you enjoyed your day.

(You regret the days you didn't. Those scars never fade)

And you go home.

You eat.

Maybe read a book as he works.

And you hope he's too tired to want anything else.

But don't worry! He always has time for his love!

He'll wait until you finish your book.

You might read slow, but that just means you're enjoying it.

And that makes him happy.

You never run out of books.

Malleus makes sure of that!

And once your done, he'll take you back to your shared room.

And he'll toss you to the bed.

He's always so careful with you.

(He's not a complete monster, after all.)

(Right?)

And he'll make love to you.

It'll be so sweet.

And then he'll keep going.

And going.

Oh, you're tired?

WELL YOU'RE LYING!

YOU JUST WANT TO LEAVE HIM!

Uh oh.

You made him mad.

Now you have new scars.

And you're still going into the morning.

Don't worry, though.

He'll give you time to clean up and get dressed.

After all, it's a new day.

That means it's time for something new.

(So, this wasn't how this was supposed to go at all..... Hmm.... I'll make some more below this then to fit what I was actually trying to make this about. Idk if this'll be in the same world as the ones above, but I don't think it really matters)

Humans are just so fragile.

He takes you on one date and you hurt yourself.

It's your fault, really.

You backed away when he tried to kiss you.

It was your fault you fell into that flame.

Really, how reckless can one be?

Of course, he made sure you knew how mad he was as well.

You had talked to that other fae.

He had to show who you belonged to.

And you backed away.

How dare you.

Not to worry though!

Now you're safe at home!

You can't hurt yourself if you're tied down, right?

Nowhere to move.

Nowhere to go.

Now Malleus can take care of you completely.

He'll feed you.

Bathe you.

Sleep with you.

Love you.

Care for you.

(Fuck you until you bleed and sob and beg for it to end)

And yet, you still try to leave.

Stupid human.

You're lucky he loves you.

(Below is split between a gn, male, and female reader. That way, you can have a personalized ending!)

GN

You don't need your legs, right?

He already broke them, but that didn't work.

So he'll just take them.

Now he gets to carry you everywhere!

Oh, you miss walking by yourself?

No worries!

He'll hang your feet above the fireplace for you to see!

That way, you can simply remember how it felt to walk!

But if you keep being defiant, he'll take your arms next.

MALE

WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLE?!

IS HE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?!

You make him so mad sometimes.

But he loves you too much to do anything horrible to you.

Yet, when he sees you hard in the morning, he's mad.

You say it's a normal bodily function, but that can't be true.

You were thinking about someone else.

He knows it wasn't about him.

You're so unfaithful.

So, now you can't get hard.

You can't cum anymore.

You have to have help pissing.

Sure, he misses messing with your cute little dick.

But this way, you remain faithful to him.

FEMALE

Oh, you noticed the baby books Malleus keeps giving you?

He's glad.

You are aware he needs an heir, yes?

Won't you help him with that?

.......

no?

No?

NO?!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?!

Well guess what, you don't get a choice anymore!

You're already tied down.

And even though your screams hurt him inside,

(They don't, they make him oh so hard for you),

He still wants an heir.

So he'll fuck you.

And fuck you.

And fuck you.

Until you're pregnant.

And even then, he'll keep going.

Cause now he wants as many babies as possible.

And you'll have to care for them all with him.

He's sure you'll be an excellent mother.

(These was fucking insane. I didn't mean to make them so dark. Also, I did have a reason for putting gn, then male, then female. If I ever do this again, that order will stay the same. Idk if I'll do this again, but if someone asks, then maybe I will. But I'll need an idea for it, cause coming up with ideas is hard.)

[compassionatereminders]

I'm ace I never want to have sex or have a relationship. But I enjoy daydreaming about a relationship I would want and I'm perfectly okay with daydreaming. I do not want this to be reality because I know such reality can't be real. And honestly I wouldn't enjoy a real sexless romance because I don't enjoy being around people for too long and maintaining friendship and relationships plus full time work, doing everything at home (cleaning, cooking) seems so exhausting. I can only be around people for so long until my mood is really depressed (I don't have depression but idk how else to describe my feelings otherwise. I feelbreally down, really sad, I just want to run away from people when I have enough of them)

It does not make me sad and I actually enjoy "the real world" and my "daydream world" I would never confess this to any of my friends because they would probably think I'm mentally ill.

I only said I was ace to one of my friends without other details and they told me I should go to a doctor because without sex no one will want me and I will die alone and I will regret that I'm not having sex and relationships...

And I don't mind being alone, dying alone. I was forcing myself to be in a relationship (never had sex because it didn't last long) and I was miserable. I am much happier alone.

Do you think daydreaming is bad? I am aware of what reality is it's not like I live in a dream world. I'm 25 and I'm actually happy with my life... I do think of cutting off friends who talk to me like I need to be cured so I'll have sex and so on. Even if I were the horniest woman on this planet I still wouldn't want to have sex unless if I knew that the guy I'm with will stay with me. And that one friend keeps saying I need to be cured and have hook ups... which I wouldn't even do even if I had sexual desires... I regret trusting that one friend because I can feel that a few other of my friends talk behind my back as well.

Why are people so obsessed with other people's sex lives? They feel so attacked if they know you don't want to have sex... they take this personally. While I never judged any of them even if they had one night stands. Like even if this is something I would never do I don't judge them at all...

Daydreaming is only a problem if it interferes with your ability to live and function outside your head. A daydream that brings you joy and takes up time but doesn't impair your life isn't inherently a problem. So it's valid for you to prefer daydreams to actual relationships, and you're not inherently in the wrong for not pursuing sex and romance. It's just your "friends" who are being aphobic and mean.

[fadeawaywithyou]

inspired by the new minecraft movie trailer and how it reminds me of a shit jumanji, here is my take on the minecraft plot. this took me like 5-10 minutes, so it's not super serious.

I actually want to try spitballing a better plot in about five minutes-

Unnamed Man in Blue and Unnamed Woman in Green wake up in a forest and meet each other while exploring. Anyway, the Plot is killing the ender dragon. Why? It's the most basic thing about minecraft. The achievement is literally called "free the end" so maybe flesh out why. So, the plot is Gather Materials, Find Stronghold, Defeat Ender Dragon, and the end scene is them looking out into the world and talking about going on other adventures. In the movie they come across a variety of monsters, but specifically a Warden and Wither. The Warden could be a genuinely scary chase scene where they don't kill it. Maybe they have to summon the wither as part of a beacon fetch quest.

The movie has lots of references to minecraft community things. minecraft youtubers and developers act as cameos in people they meet. "don't dig straight down" is on a sign near a cave/town's quarry. Maybe they find books similar to those survival guides i saw in all the scholastic book fairs. Have someone hum Don't Mine At Night or go "awww man" when a creeper explodes. Have a reclusive but friendly town of "hermits" (hermitcraft). maybe you pass by someone saying "the aether is just a conspiracy/myth!" just, things the community of all ages will recognize and go "hey! the thing!"

other:

They decide on the names Steve and Alex themselves, idk when though. The nicknames of Green and Blue between them can stick around. Also while i'm here, idc about romance. have them be friends, or partners by the end, or implied whatever.

I want Steve and Alex to have a personality but also have a generic backstory for the "blank slate" appeal and function of their in-game selves. I have a couple ideas- amnesia or being an everyday person, for example. maybe they are orphans, idk. Waking up in a forest is all i'm set on because that could be the equivalent of "spawning in."

I also have a fun idea where it could be an entirely implied Isekai. ("implied" is the keyword because it's never admitted and the only canonical dimensions are the nether, overworld, and end.) Not like the movie, where you aparently watch them get Isekai-ed, but with how they react to Tree Physics, magic, monsters, etc. and people going "you're not from around here, are you" and/or "how do you not know what X is? have you been living under a rock?" (which would then introduce the audience to minecraft concepts and exposition.)

they live in a "post-age of heres" world where it could be implied that the Old People who build all the strongholds and shit are long dead and they disappeared going after the dragon. this immediately puts an added sense of danger to the quest. also an underdog story.

i also would like a reason WHY Blue and Green can defeat the dragon while the others can't beyond "they are the main characters." this could be the new thing the movie brings in, like a new enchantment or making netherite something the Old People didn't have but necessary? idk, this could go into "movie-verse" logic and doesn't necessarily have to be in-direct canon to the game.

you know those characters that minecraft made a while ago? like the different races and genders? those skins could be characters in the movies.

the soundtrack does have the most popular minecraft sounds, in-game sound effects are used, but maybe some "movie remixes" or maybe they pay and jump through hoops to have Revenge playing for the end Credits.

also this is all animated. embrace animation.

[altraviolet]

thinking about new fic

my brain is slowly building a new Rodimus/Soundwave fic, but it's going to be an IDW-esque AU. very heavy on the AU.

since it therefore wouldn't be TFP SW/MTMTE Rodimus, I ran a lil poll on twitter to see if people would still be interested. here are the results:

so that's pretty cool! a very large vote turn out compared to my usual turn out. 86% is a good majority for sure :)

I'm currently brainstorming how to deviate from the fundamentals of IDW without completely abandoning the essence of Cybertronians. JRO built a lot of explanations for Transformers into his worldbuilding. why can't they remember where they came from initially? information creep. how do you explain a population of different alt modes? functionism (this is an in-universe justification for the treatment of said alt modes, not really an explanation, but it fills the role exceptionally well). what are the fundamental building blocks of a Cybertronian? that holy trinity of brain, T cog, and spark

the general course of IDW1 society seems to trace back to the "God War" and Adaptus saying "hey what if we tried to take over the universe."

I'm uninterested in war and very interested in trying to think of a new mythology that still feels Cybertronian. what if the Titans had never left? what if there had never been a god war? what if there wasn't even an Adaptus or Primus? can I still make a story that will interest readers and feel Transformer-y? that's the main goal. it strikes me that that seems to be what IDW2 was... maybe...

a new flavor of Soundwave/Rodimus is the secondary goal. it was really fun to build and change TFP Soundwave in TEG, but that's done now. I don't want to bring TFP SW into the IDW universe for this story because I'd have to do some version of TEG over again just to get him to an amicable point (and I'm uninterested in multiverse shenanigans this time around). I don't know/understand a ton about IDW1 Soundwave, so I'll probably be changing him quite a bit. I'm stressin' the AU in "IDW1 AU," here lol. well if I'm changing IDW SW quite a bit, why not just use an amicable TFP Soundwave? idk man, it just doesn't feel right to stick him into an IDW world with no explanation. it's part of the challenge...

*contemplates giving IDW1 SW tentacles anyway* heh

so yeah! I had really meant to work on original stuff by now but maybe I'll try to see how fast I can plan/do this project and consider that practice :)

some things I'd like to explore:

-explore physical (brain, T cog) vs immaterial (fields, spark) parts of TFs & how that affects their society

-use a different system of gods than what has been used in canon so far

-see if shadow daddy troll Soundwave is possible

-mini beasts that are different from anything canon has given us

-Rodimus has a Very Big Problem

all the worldbuilding stuff will be the background to the slow burn, of course. I need to think of some good conflicts/plot lines. plots are the hardest thing for me, lel. TEG was easy in that half the fun was "how would MTMTE characters react to TFP SW? how would he react to them?" this would aim to explore new iterations in a new world... thus the goal being: can I make it just as engaging for readers? or will people just want TEG part 2?

realistically, I can guess what people want xD but New Thing is the current goal, and heck, all writing is practice, so there we go.