#idk why im especially broke this month

[shatteredfears-arch]

tumb/lrs so broken that some posts it wont let me use legacy and others it wont let me use beta so i have to hop between them for random shiz and then legacy keeps getting glitched out to double replies for some reason and then it doesnt actually tell you what editor the mobile app has. like is it legacy? is it beta? is it its own thing bc for a company w less than 200 employees they put too much work on their backs that they cant finish and i hope they stop breathe take a minute and reflect on how maybe changing things suddenly without testing them w audiences first and LISTENING to their reactions is a bad idea? will their most recent only good idea be the double checkmarks bc thats a good way to earn money to keep this website alive bc they cant anymore if theyre not funded purely bc they saw the opportunity to diss a fuckhead and took it doubled it and made it hilarious and stalkable? will the employees ever have rest considering they clearly dont have an actual CS department anymore? we just dont know

[lewisvinga]

because i liked a boy , part ii. | carlos sainz x fem! reader

part one.

summary: carlos sees how y/n is thriving after their break up and he couldn’t help but feel regret, especially after seeing how she moved on.

fc; nicki nicole

warnings; cursing , reader is implied to be a spanish speaker, uhhh idk what else

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs

note; requested ! this is set over a span of a couple of months btw ! this is a long one for me icl

masterlist !

liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and others

yourusername: por las noches [at night] remix out now!

thank you pesopluma for giving me the chance to feature on this track, had so much fun collabing with you!

tagged; pesopluma

username: OMG MOTHER

username: this song is so….💔💔

username: her voice + peso’s voice 😫

username: yall think it’s abt carlos???

pesopluma: fue tan divertido trabajar contigo, hasta la próxima! 🖤😁 [it was so fun working with you, until next time!]

yourusername: gracias por darme la oportunidad 🥹🖤 [thank you for giving me the opportunity]

username: omg wasn’t she rumored to date him before carlos??

username: they just shared a mutual friend 😭

username: ‘solita me dejarás’ [you’ll leave me alone] was 100% aimed at carlos for not defending her 🙁

username: the emotions in her voice, i just know that break up hurt her

lilymhe: idk what you’re saying but your pretty voice makes up for it 😫🫶

yourusername: love uuuuuu

username: when she said ‘todo lo que yo te di y todo lo que me diste, fue pa' nada’ [everything i gave to you and everything you gave to me, was for nothing] i felt that shit in MY SOUL😖😖

username: omg omg omg carlos liked!!!

username: my roman empire is cary/n

username: carlos still liking her posts and following her 🥹🥹

username: “voy a preguntar por qué todos nuestros sentimientos se quedaron en ayer” [i’m going to ask why all of our feelings stayed in yesterday] has me in my FEELS, miss y/n you ate w that🤒

alexandrasaintmleux: amazing! always so talented 🩷💐

yourusername: thank u alex 🥹🫶

username: my ferrari wags💔💔

username: this song seems like the last goodbye to carlos tbh, like she’s letting alllll of her feelings out before moving on bc in her recents she looks so happy🥹🥹🥹🥹 liked by yourusername !

liked by carlossainz55, carmenmmundt, and others!

yourusername: “ALMA”, my first album, is finally out! and if that wasn’t enough, official dates for ALMA tour is also out! presale link in my bio. 🖤🖤🖤

username: HELLOOOO?????

username: IM SLDKSKDO

username: trust I WILL BE GOING TO MADRID TO SEE HER

carmenmmundt: i better get front row seats in madrid!!

yourusername: i’ll get them for you #trust

username: anybody notice how the opening show is in madrid ??? coincidentally before the start of the season??

username: i noticed too omg, i’m convinced the tour was planned before her and carlos broke up so he could see her🥹

username: carlos liked this post too!

lilymhe: OH EM GEEEEE IM SO EXCITEDDDDDD liked by yourusername!

username: working extra shifts rn

carlossainz55: felicitaciones! [congratulations] knew you could do it! liked by yourusername!

username: cary/n💔💔😭😭

username: IM SO HYPED FOR THIS

username: so you’re telling me we might hear ‘because i liked a boy’ and ‘por las noches’ LIVE???!!

yourusername: maybeeeeeee

alexandrasaintmleux: already ready for when they officially go on sale! making charles also use his phone and laptop😌😌

yourusername: alexxxxx🥹🥹🫶🫶

carlos congratulations on the album and the tour, i know how hard you’ve been working on both.

y/n thank you, carlos. yeah, i have been working hard despite certain bumps in the road 😊

carlos listen, i’m so sorry. i should’ve defended you more. it was my mistake and i was blind and stupid and i lost you. i lost an amazing girl.

y/n yeah! you were stupid

y/n i was getting death threats and i was told that it was ‘complicated’ to make a post!

y/n but it’s fine, i’m over it.

carlos well i’m not over you.

y/n deal with it, carlos sainz. you messed up. you lost me.

carlos just give me one more chance, por favor, mi amor. [please, my love] te lo juro, [i swear to you] i won’t fuck it up. please.

y/n no. i have a tour to prepare for. goodbye, carlos.

liked by carlossainz55, carmenmmundt, and others

yourusername: MADRIDDDDD❤️🇪🇸 thank you for creating happier memories for me in this beautiful city. you’re all so special to me🖤🖤

username: ‘happier memories’ rmbr when she’d always be seen in madrid w carlos 🥹

username: OOMF ON TWT SAID SHE SAW CARLOS THERE W CARMEN AND GEORGE AND A MYSTERY GIRL

carmenmmundt: i think i lost my voice from screaming so much🤣 george is even worse!! but amazing like always 💞💞

georgerussell63: broken spanish and don’t have a clue what you said, but i somehow lost my voice

yourusername: it means sm to me that you both enjoyed 🥹🖤

username: MOTHER HAS MOTHERED

username: buenos días y k vivan los mujeres😍 [good morning and long live women]

username: el mejor concierto de mi vida😫😫 [the best concert of my life]

username: streets are saying carlos was there w another girl????

username: the way you guys stopped hating on her the moment she ended things w carlos, you guys are sick!!

username: literally, she was always that girl but since she was dating their fave……

username: idc i never liked her

landonorris: womp womp!

landonorris: waiting for u to come to england

yourusername: soooooon😁

alexandrasaintmleux: so excited for the monaco concert 🩷🩷

yourusername: can’t wait to see you and charles!🫶

liked by carlossainz55, pesopluma, and others

yourusername: special guest in cdmx [mexico city] tonight 🙈 tqm [ilysm] 🖤🖤

tagged; pesopluma

pesopluma: MI REINAAAAAA😍😍😍 [my queen]

pesopluma: la vida es mejor contigoooooo, tqm❤️❤️ [life is better with you, ilysm]

yourusername: 🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶🖤🖤🖤

username: the way he looks at her, i am unwell

username: she looks so happy w him🙁🙁

username: friends to lovers is REALLL

username: mis faves

username: cdmx concert was the best one

username: POR LAS NOCHES LIVE>>

lilymhe: cuties🫶 2x date next time ur in town??

yourusername: of course 😖

username: not carlos liking 😭

username: wonder how carlos feels realizing he fumbled a bad bitch like y/n for not defending her online

username: the way peso pluma said ‘i’d defend her with my life, that’s how much i love her’ during his lil speech during the concert was so🥹🥹

username: i’m so happy that she looks so happy and relieved, AND THE COMMENT SECTION HAS NO TOXIC FANS!!

username: 😖😖😖😖😖😫😫😫💞

carlos so you’re dating your ‘friend’ now huh

y/n weird i don’t remember asking.🤣

y/n he was there for me when i was getting death threats and being called a slut for nothing. he was there to comfort me when i cried over the thousands of hate comments under every post.

y/n something you never did.

carlos wait until he finds another girl and will dump you. you know how it is when people get that famous that fast. he won’t treat you well.

y/n HA what a joke. very funny, sainz.

y/n weren’t you the one to bring a girl to MY concert?? but i’m the bad guy for moving on and dating someone else???

y/n you’re pathetic, sainz.

carlos admit it, you know i’m right

y/n fuck off, he treats me better than you ever did

carlos sure. sure he does.

y/n move on, sainz. move on.

liked by lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, and others!

yourusername: princess treatment only 💞🥹 muchas gracias, mi rey🖤 [thank you very much, my king]

tagged; pesopluma

pesopluma: lo mejor para usted, mi reina❤️ [the best for you, my queen]

yourusername: mi amor 🥹🫶

username: literal goals

username: mis padres

username: a relationship like them pls

username: the way she went from carlos to peso pluma>>>>

username: SHE SAID PRINCESS TREATMENT ONLY ‼️‼️ WE ONLY WANT MEN WHO DEFEND US‼️‼️ liked by yourusername !

username: she looks sooooo happy n free i love it

username: as much as i miss cary/n, peso pluma really does treat her like a queen

lilymhe: ITS WHAT YOU DESERVE BBY!!!!! liked by yourusername !

username: oh i just know lily knows the real shit abt carlos and y/n

lilymhe: i am neither confirming not denying…

landonorris: cool but can u tell him to get on his pc and join the game🙄🙄🙄🙄

pesopluma: on it 🫡

charles_leclerc: WAIT FOR ME

username: wait omg he’s friends w the drivers????

username: duh, she’s besties w the wags , ofc he’s gonna know their bfs

alexandrasaintmleux: gorgeous gorgeous girls date wonderful amazing guys who make them happy💐🩷🩷

yourusername: well that also makes you a gorgeous gorgeous girl! ilysm🫶🖤🥹

username: wonder how carlos feels knowing he lost y/n to a guy who treats her better AND is friends w his friends 😭😭

username: if i was him i’d be sooo pissed 😭

username: imagine if he was begging for her to take him back

yourusername: lol imagine

[lnfours]

idk if im late or not for the snow day req 🤧 can i req this with lando? tysm 🧡

all too well - bad breakup, you lost your self-esteem, why not you? "i can still remember it like it was yesterday"

IM BACK! my semester started the other day and i’ve been busy as fuck but don’t worry we’re cleaning out the inbox today!

anon, i hope you enjoy this! i’m so sorry it took so long 🥲 i had to include a fluff ending bc im too much of a hopeless romantic

cleaning out my inbox

the house was empty, quieter than normal as you sat on the couch. the ran pattered against the roof, droplets dripping down the glass that mirrored the tears on your cheeks.

it had been a few months since you broke up. his busy schedule and yours intermingling only causing more harm than good. you felt like you never got to see him, and when he was home you were always busy. obviously you knew what you were getting into with his profession, under the impression that you both could make it work.

but after six months of trial and error, you both decided that despite the overwhelming amount of love you had for each other. there was no one else who could compare to him. there was no better feeling then the love you had for each other.

your friends had all played the classic ‘boys suck’ and ‘find someone knew’ cards when in reality it took all of you not to book the first flight to whichever city he was in that week and get wrapped up in him all over again. to breathe in the smell of his cologne and laundry detergent, the smell that felt like home.

your thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the door. you wiped your tears quickly, glancing down at the time on your phone and wondering who was paying you a visit this late in the evening. especially unannounced.

you unlocked the door and opened it to reveal the man who had infiltrated your thoughts for the past three months. gorgeous green eyes meet yours, brown curls stuck to his forehead because of the rain. backpack resting on his shoulders as a small carry on luggage sat beside him. he wasn’t really sure what urged him to tell the uber driver to drop him off at your doorstep instead of his own place, but he was glad he did the moment your eyes met.

“sorry,” he mumbled softly, awkwardly shifting after taking in the silence between you, “i should’ve texted.”

you shook your head, opening the door for him to seek shelter from the rain, “it’s okay, come in.”

he did as you told him to, leaving his bags and shoes by the door as you made your way into the kitchen. he shrugged off his hood, running a hand through the wet curls as you reached up on your tippy toes for a mug, “want some tea? it’ll warm you up,”

“teas good,” he nodded, sending you a soft smile, “thanks.”

you turned the stove on, fire igniting under the kettle, turning to face him on the opposite side of the island.

“why’re you-?”

“were you-“

you both started at the same time, exchanging a slight chuckle before he shook his head, “you first, your questions probably more important than what i was gonna ask.”

you nodded, licking your lips, “i was just gonna ask why you’re here,” you said, immediately rambling after, “- not that i mind, i did say my door was always open if you needed something but…”

you trailed off and he nodded, swallowing thickly, “i don’t really know, to be honest,” he said, suddenly more interested in his fingers as he broke eye contact, “i’ve been thinking about you and what happened between us over the past few months and i,” he took a deep breath, “i missed you.”

you bit down on your lower lip, “lando-“

“i know, i know,” he said, finally looking up to meet your eyes again, “i should’ve probably texted, and i had this entire speech rehearsed in the car from the airport but when i saw you, it all kind of just went out the window. i can go if you want me to-“

“no,” you cut him off, “no, i don’t want you to go.”

he nodded, “i just felt like telling you i still loved you in person was a better idea rather than telling you over the phone.”

you heart stopped, jumping up to your throat. you didn’t know what to say, you hadn’t really thought about what you’d say if he ever came back. you just assumed he had moved on and forgot everything about you, just like every other man had.

but he wasn’t like those guys. that being the key reason you fell in love with him to begin with.

“and i’m sorry for being so shitty,” he said, “for not being the perfect boyfriend to you. i know it’s a slim chance, but if you’re willing to work it out, so am i. i want everything life has to offer with you.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat, “i’m sorry, too,” you breathed out, “i wasn’t totally understanding about your career and how hectic it was. if im being honest, i never stopped loving you. even when you were gone, i couldn’t keep my mind off of you.”

he approached you now, coming to stand in front of you. you smiled gently up at him as he spoke, “a complete redo, for the both of us, a clean slate - if that’s okay with you?”

you nodded, “very much so, yeah.”

he smiled down at you, his arms winding around your waist as yours wrapped around his neck. he hugged you tightly against his body, the smell of his cologne filling your senses. the smell of him; home.

the tea kettle whistling pulled you apart, you reaching to turn to the stove off as you grabbed the kettle. he watched you with love filled eyes as you made the tea, holding his mug out to him with a smile when you prepared it to his liking.

you remembered.

“so,” you said, smiling over the rim of the mug, “tell me everything i missed.”

[daddyhausen]

idk if you’re taking requests but if you are i’d love a mjf x fem reader smut fic!

of course ! i miss max so much !!

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

• “i hate everyone but you” — mjf •

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ masterlists } | { aew masterlist } | { mjf masterlist }

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ summary } —kind of enemies to lovers. max was never one to show his emotions, yet alone allow himself to be vulnerable, especially around you, the one he cares for the most

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ warnings } — 18+ { minors do not interact }, fem!reader, public sex, oral sex { male receiving }, throatpie, multiple orgasms, male + female orgasms, penetrative sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, squirting, creampie

{ word count } — 2.9k

{ genre } — enemies to lovers, smut

.•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•.

{ taglist } — @boutmachines @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @baysexuality @chrisdickinson @cuzimacomedian @wardlow @sammiejane22 @april-jeanette-wagner @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @damnnhausen

{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }

.•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•.

he stood from afar, simply watching with a brooding stare, a scowl permanently etched on his lips whenever he was even in the same vicinity as you. a stare of malice, jealousy even, it had been the same since your arrival in aew, for the past three months, not so much as a word spoken in your direction, no eye contact, a simple shove with his shoulder to drive you out of his way whenever in passing with each other. but that’s who max was, a cold-hearted bastard, it did not seem to phase you. 

to be truthful, max was indeed jealous of the attention you were receiving, you were the same age, mirrored in accomplishments within the business, worked around the world in various promotions and match types, all like him, but why? why was it you gaining all the praise, all the adoration, and not him? 

in the last month or so, his hatred only seemed to spiral, although he was unsure as to why. when he saw another male colleague interact with you, it only seemed to make his blood boil, but… it shouldn’t…he should not feel this way, let alone even care that he did…he hated you, or at least that's what he tried to convince himself. 

max paced down the hallway, back to his locker room after a particularly gruelling match against his former hired muscle, wardlow. he was in pain, from the copious amount of powerbombs, muscles sore and bones feeling like they were about to snap, even more so furious that he lost the entire match. he turned a particularly sharp corner, too enraged to even notice yourself and chuck taylor engaged in conversation in the middle of the corridor. he did not care, making a beeline past you and chuck, shoving you in particular with his shoulder, much harder than he would usually, as he broke up your conversation, an act which made the kentucky gentleman seethe with frustration.

“the fuck’s his problem?” chuck scowled, mentioning to max who slammed his locker room door shut, a sound that seemed to shake the very foundation of the arena. 

“you good?” he quickly peered back at you, noticing you were now leaning against the wall, fists balled with anger at your sides, although he was more worried about your shoulder considering the force max slammed into you with. 

“i’m fine” you muttered, straightening out your shoulder “i don’t know what it is but frankly it’s starting to piss me off”

chuck huffed, one out of disappointment on max’s behalf, mimicking the way you leaned against the wall on your shoulder, arms folded across his chest. frankly, max had been a proverbial thorn in everyone’s side since the day he showed his face in the company. 

“you want me to beat his ass?” he quipped, the sudden statement caused a small chuckle to emit from your lips. 

“i’ll handle it” you remarked making your way towards max’s locker room 

“let me know if you change your mind” you gave a small salute in thanks in response before practically kicking max’s door in. you saw him all by his lonesome, back facing the door, slouched in the folding chair that was positioned in the middle of his locker room, not even acknowledging your presence or the fact that you almost ripped the door off its hinges upon entry. 

‘what the fuck is your problem?!” you bellowed, the sound virtually echoing around the small space, causing the walls to rattle. max turned to you, still in his ring gear, beads of sweat gathering in his hairline, glossing his skin. he was more stoic than you expected, he eyed you up and down for a moment, eyes scanning your figure, how pissed off you were at this very moment, months of rage built up within you all releasing on his sorry soul.

“what are you on about y/n-”

“don’t play dumb with me, max!” you interrupted, your tone rather harsh, words masked by venom “ever since i arrived here, you’ve been nothing but an asshole to me! why do you hate me?!-”

“i hate everyone!” max stood up, swiping at the chair that he had been previously sitting on, sending it halfway across the room, crashing into the wall with a sickening ring of metal against brick. it took you by surprise, the sudden rage that spilled from him, it almost made you press your back into the wall out of fear, but you held your ground, a furrow in your brow and a scowl across your lips. he took a second, peering down at the ground in an attempt to calm himself and catch his breath. “but …i don’t hate you” 

“your action’s speak otherwise-”

“well i don’t alright!” he cut you off once more, inhaling deeply, fingers tugging at his hair, dragging his palms down his face in frustration. “you don’t understand how frustrating it is to be madly in love with someone and not know how to express it! you think i like being mean to you?! it’s eating me up inside because i don’t know any better! so no, i don’t hate you…i hate the way you make me feel”

you stood there stunned for a moment, simply blinking in disbelief, the maxwell jacob friedman, the man who has been silently tormenting you for months, had just poured his heart out to you. you’d never seen such vulnerability from him, on the outside he was nothing but an overconfident prick, but behind those eyes, hidden deep beneath those dark mahogany irises, he just wanted praise, wanted to be loved and adored.

max was an intriguing figure, you must admit, he was handsome, confident, sometimes too much for his own good. dare you say you might be attracted to him more than you’d like to admit, especially after that sudden confession he just poured out. 

“you…you love me?” it was all you could muster through the film of disbelief still fogging your brain, as stupid as it sounded. butterflies seemed to erupt in your stomach, shivers burning under your skin. max stood there dumbfounded at your response, blinking absentmindedly for a few seconds like you had done moments prior.

“what , do you want me to spell it out for you?” max quipped, although with a bit of a sulk to his words. god would it kill him to not be an asshole for five minutes?! 

“you really have a way with words, don’t you?” max simply rolled his eyes at your comment, retrieving the chair that he had previously thrown across the room, resuming his seat, facing away from you. 

“now you can go back to hating me, or whatever…” he slumped back into the seat, sounding far more repressed than you’d ever heard him. for once, max was quiet, reclused, it was so unlike his normal brash, abrasive persona you’ve come to love to hate. you pursed your lips, a soft exhale escaping your nostrils, quietly and carefully making your way toward him, taking a seat on his lap, arms wrapping around his neck lightly, his eyebrows furrowed with genuine confusion at your sudden action.

“yes, you may be an self-absorbed, egotistical, asshole-” 

“tell me something i don’t know” he scoffed at your comment, inadvertently cutting you off. you shot him an unimpressed look, one of which made him quiet down really quick.

“and despite you being a massive pain in my ass, more than i’d willingly admit…i still don’t hate you, max. i never hated you. funny enough, it might be the reason i felt so drawn to you” 

max’s arms snaked around your waist, a protective grip tightened, pulling you close into the warmth of his bare chest, his breathing had subsided, just basking in the comfortable silence that slowly settled over the room.

“so what you’re saying is that you love me too?” mahogany browns peered up at you playfully, a gentle smile creeping across his lips. 

“of course i am, you idiot!” you playfully slapped his chest in response

“i don’t know, doll. looks like you’re gonna have to prove it to me”

“doll? you’re bringing out the pet names already?”

“just shut up and kiss me”

the kiss was very much obliged. you hands cupped his cheeks softly an act which he seemingly melted into, the subtle scratch of his facial hair against the soft palms of your hands, the way he moaned sweetly into the kiss, it seemingly only enhanced his grip on you, pulling you closer onto his lap, palms anchoring your hips to his, slowly rocking them back and forth against his evidently growing bulge. his finger tracing shapes though your shirt, teasing, toying as they snaked under the fabric, feather light touches against your soft skin. 

you clung to him, arms wrapped around his neck, nails digging into the tops of his shoulders. the sensation rousing in your belly wasn’t foreign in the slightest. to be truthful, this specific feeling never seemed to quell around max, it merely heightened no matter how much you tried to suppress it, bury it deep into the furthest recesses of your mind, evidently it would always expel within the confines of your hotel room hours later. with max, it felt right, despite your limited interaction, he’d barely laid a finger on you besides the tight grip on your waist yet it left you soaking wet. 

“doll, please…”  he muttered against your lips after a particularly rough swirl of your hips. he pulled away for a moment to breath, a small moan erupting from his lips at the lack of contact. he was not one to hesitate, initiating the first move, he pried you from his lap, fingers instantly toying with the buckle of your belt, removing it with haste, swiftly moving to your jeans, tugging them down halfway then residing back in his seat, palming his growing cock through his gear, all the while you removed the remainder of your clothing. 

he gazed upon your naked frame, taking his time to observe every curve and crevice of your perfect form. from the way your hips dipped inward slightly, the curve of your waist, leading up to your breasts, so full and round, so perfect. he kept his gaze fixated there for a moment, wetting his lips in anticipation, it was no secret that he was staring, mouth hung agape, jaw practically on the floor.

“are you just gonna keep staring or are you gonna fuck me?” your response caught max off guard temporarily, blinking in disbelief for a moment, a thick gulp rising in his throat. never in a million years did he think you’d have such a confident, flirtatious tongue on you. then again, he did not know what to expect from you, first you burst into his room with the right mind to murder him, the next you’re about to ride his cock. once subtly regaining his composure, he reached into his wrestling trunks, freeing his thick cock, merely mentioning for you to sit. 

“that depends…” he spoke up, hand firmly wrapped around his erect shaft, slowly beginning to pump himself in waiting “are you gonna be a good little slut for me?”

there he was, the asshole decided to front again. you simply rolled your eyes at his statement, instantly dropping to your knees between his thighs, peering up at him through a lens of faux innocence, batting your eyelashes, looking all angling despite the scenario. you took his size in your palm, licking a hot stripe against the underside of his shaft, an act which made him shiver in his seat, nails digging into his exposed thighs, a choked exhale leaving his lips as you lightly sucked at his tip. 

your cheeks hollowed, slowly lowering your lips down his shaft, watching his every movement, every gasp, every grunt, each time he’d throw his head back or mutter some obscenity out of pleasure. you kept up this façade of innocence as your lips settled at the base of his cock, his length sitting comfortably in the back of your throat. now would be the perfect time to thank god for not having a gag reflex. slowly, you began to bob your head, keeping your rhythm smooth to aid in his pleasure. though your eyesight obscured of him, the sounds leaving his lips were enough to let you know exactly how much he enjoyed the scenario.

“fuck…” he grunted through clench teeth, his jaw starting to spasm from how tight it was clenched. he kept his hands firmly on his thighs, still debating whether or not to touch you. you just looked too stunning beneath him, mouth full of his cock, he surely did not want his hands to obscure the sight. however, you pried your hands up from your sides, grabbing his left wrist, placing it behind your head, almost clasping the back of your neck, a silent plea for him to apply some pressure, to push your head down so that you would choke on his size. 

he obliged, adding some force, loving the new sound of you choking and sputtering around him, spit bubbling around the corners of your lips, dripping down your chin and onto his thighs. it was now when his his started to buck, groans ripping through his throat, so much so that he almost forgot that he was still in his locker room, effectively lowering his tone slightly. he could not hold on for much longer, he never knew a mouth could feel so heavenly, like he had ascended and was no longer on this place of living. he took hold of the back of your skull, hips thrusting up to meet the movements of your mouth, using your throat as his own personal fleshlight. 

he kept his noise to a minimum, simply enjoying the sounds that spilled from your throat, echoing and reverberating around the locker room. he wasn’t subtle in his words either, praising you with everything he had, how well your mouth felt, how deep you take his cock, it was just enough to send him over the edge, filling your cheeks, coating them in white.

he motioned you upward with a simple wave of his finger, beckoning you to stand. you did so, licking clean some of his seed that spilled onto your plump lips. your palms braced against his shoulders, in a sudden movement, he grabbed hold of your hips, tightly squeezing the supple flesh between his fingers, dragging you onto his lap. he was silent, not purposefully, still recovering from that wonderful orgasm he received moments prior and because he knew he would not be able to control himself once he entered your sweet cunt.

you lowered your hips down, pretty cunt stretching around his cock, an act which made him audibly exhale before you silenced him with a heated kiss. those arms once wrapped around your waist now resumed their position, squeezing you tightly against his chest, using the momentum of his hips to fuck you senseless, so much so your had to bury your face into the crook of his neck, muffled moans spilling out onto his skin. 

“be loud, doll. i want everyone to know how good i fuck you” he growled in-between jagged breaths, moans soft and sporadic against the skin of your collarbones. you were hesitant with your volume, after all you weren’t even a hundred percent sure that poor chuck was still not awaiting your return, you hoped he left to go find one of the other best friends. with a particularly rough thrust from max, you could not help but let a cacophony of moans spill from your lips, the breaths in between filled with a string of profanities

“fuck max-” you whined through choked moans, clinging to him, crying out in pleasure. he held a death grip on your waist, thrusts vicious, almost animalistic each time he pulled you down onto his cock. his grunts were low in your, intentionally to draw more attention to your pleasured screams, they resonated within the locker room, ringing in his ears like a choir of corrupted angels, he was determined to corrupt you further. 

still with quiet groans in comparison, he gave a final thrust, hips bucking upward with such delicious force as his warmth seeped deep inside your soaked cunt, his thighs shaking from such intense pleasure coursing through him. he relaxed for a moment, letting the remainder of his seed fill your void as you continued to fuck yourself on his cock, riding him like a bitch in heat, tits bouncing inches from his face. his cum seeping from your sweet pussy, down his shaft, all the while you rode him until release. 

the final moments before your release was pure bliss, your hips circling violently, feeling his cock slip in and out of you with ease, his name so lovingly spliced through a chorus of moans, orgasm rising in your belly, the outline of his thick cock in your skin, it was all far too much for you to handle any longer. with a final twitch of your hips, slamming down, burying his cock deep inside you, juices gushing down your thighs in sweet, heavenly release. your body shaking with such profound arousal, warm and content in your position on his lap. he let out a blissful sigh, completely enamoured with the situation, keeping you still, relaxing into the feeling. 

“still hate me now?” you giggled breathlessly.

“oh, fuck you!”

“you just did!”

.•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•.

[kazachi69]

hhey just coming from melo's blog here. im not jumping to conclusions. i mean i dont agree with what you said but like bruh i cant judge cuz like i dont know your side of the story so if ya comfortable.. share your side?? if you comfortable??

TLDR: In response to that post, I ain't about all that.

I'll continue to operate as normal because I'm not so childish as to let one thing weigh on my mind forever. If you think different of me based on someone else's account alone, especially after knowing me, yall are kinda fucked up for that not me.

If you actually want to know stuff it's down there V

Well, a few month ago, when I still was good friends with Melo, I was reading out some and watching some offensive memes with them and read something out that I didn't quite like (not using the word here as it still makes me uncomfy), and then later in dms kept questioning me.

I didn't exactly know how to respond, but it felt weird since I already apologized once in call and then multiple times the day after that and tried to explain it to them later as it didn't sink until they made it. Even though I felt really bad, even if I wasn't paying attention and just reading something out loud, I thought that they would be more chill with it considering that they said the f-word, (not fuck), earlier.

Something that they conveniently left out, which I asked them about right after the voice message they sent in the last screen shot

And yeah, we were done with it after that, I apologized for about an hour and a half and then they never mentioned it to me again. If they did have that big a problem with it, they could have come to me like they had with other problems that affected them more directly, but it's not like either of us wanted to hear me say it either.

I talked to them about teasing them about certain things and what not, but they didn't say yes, or no, or even whatever. And if they were really that upset I'd think that they'd tell me about it and be more definitive instead of saying they "need to be entertained" whenever they wanted to hang out, but I did limit myself in that regard as well.

Tbh, I don't know what's happening with Glitchy, but I know they don't tolerate that stuff, but have to deal with it even if they don't like it. Idk why or what Melo's problem with Glitchy is, but it doesn't make any sense to me, and it feels like they were just hoping to hurt us. It pisses me off more that they went out of their way to go after Glitchy than they did me tbh, because it looks like Glitchy only explained to them. There has been other drama that they indirectly started when I first got to know them, but I talked them through it and helped them calm down.

This is oddly convenient as well that it's happening after *I* broke the friendship off after how they were treating me, although I could have talked to them more about it, I was really pissed at the time, and by the time I wanted to apologies, (even though I was upset) I was blocked. It seems a little unrelated, but to me, it feels like they're just trying to get back at me in some way, but I honestly don't know.

It does suck, cause a lot of people Gltichy and I considered friends blocked us without any second thought. Then again, I guess they're not really friends if they don't want to hear our side of the story or anything, so no big loss I guess.

I'll continue to operate as normal because I'm not so childish as to let one thing weigh on my mind forever. If you think different of me based on someone else's account alone, especially after knowing me, yall are kinda fucked up for that not me.

TLDR: In response to that post, I ain't about all that.

[injwecti]

!! OP CHAP 1110 SPOILERS !! Little rant abt zoro & egghead.

this has been in my mind for a while hold on let me ramble to my audience of 0. Throughout the egghead arc, Zoro has been called a burden 3 times now. THREE. and his reactions are varying. the first I’m pretty sure was Sanji near the start with him & zoro bantering and being childish like they usually are. the 2nd time is when zoro is fighting Lucci. And you can see he’s VISUALLY taken aback. AND WITH THIRD TIME BY SANJI, HE LITERALLY STANDS THERE AND PAUSES. TO GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER.

(There’s 3 points I wanna put out throughout this)

The reaction to it.

the reason I’m so obsessed over this is because roronoa zoro, luffy’s first crewmate, I was always trying to get stronger pre-time skip. not once was he ‘useless’ or a ‘burden’ to the crew during a fight. After alabasta, he’s meditating with 2 huge ass boulders on top of his arms - and talking (or beating himself up) about getting stronger.

and post-time skip, he’s stoic and serious towards the crew to act serious when fighting. We can see this when he tells Luffy off in punk hazard to take his fight with Ceaser more seriously.

But not ONCE. has he ever been a burden to the crew. Sure, he’s gotten worked up after sanji calls him names or insults. But he’s never been a burden. (And idk if sanji’s ever called him a burden pre-egghead!)

His reaction to sanji & lucci calling him a burden is so off-putting.

With lucci, it’s just back talking him to piss him off more and lose his composure during the fight. And this is why zoro doesn’t think much about it. we see a little “!” Bubble on zoro as it pans to him after lucci calls him a burden, but the dialogue doesn’t continue on it.

however, with sanji, he psychically stops for 2 panels. you can see another “!” bubble to see he heard it. with no dialogue, but a sketchy shading over his face.

ESPECIALLY WITH THE “. . .” BUBBLE AROUND HIM.

and he takes a second to fix his composure and defeat (?) lucci.

From this, I’m pretty sure he thinks that he IS A burden, (which he isn’t.) and is letting the crew down.

but wait… that sounds familiar…

DING DING DING!!!

2. The continuing pattern of self-blame & ‘leaving’ the crew.

as we’ve seen from east blue, water 7, and zou/wholecake island, each member that left had blamed theirselves for burdening to crew, or becoming victim to higher powers. (I expand on this later)

the representation of mental health and blame in one piece is so fucking spectacular. As someone who took 6 months off school because of my mental health, and more specifically guilt of being useless, Oda conveys this VERY WELL. each and every character in one piece that has left the crew has explored that feeling of guilt, and worry of essentially feeling an anchor to others.

that they weren’t enough.

or that they got in the way.

or they were going to bring pain and hurt to the crew because of something (or someone) else.

NOW, IM NOT SAYING THAT ZORO WOULD WILLINGLY LEAVE THE CREW. BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T.

not in his dizziest daydream, would he ever leave the crew. Leave luffy.

(Post-Long ring island, he said “now that I think about it, There’d be no point in me being a pirate if not on this ship.

thriller bark, he faced almost guaranteed death to save his crew.)

However, here’s a quick fact.

Almost every ‘human’, (nami, ussop, robin, sanji) in the crew has left/tried to go seperate ways after self blame of higher powers demanded it.

this is almost the full east blue crew, excluding zoro. and they had their reasons for it.

Nami - Arlong pirates and her hometown. (Higher powers)

Usopp - Merry and not being strong. (self-blame) Robin - Ohara and CP9. (Higher powers) Sanji - Vinsmoke Judge and Big Mom. (Higher powers & self-blame)

**they all experience self-blame and being a burden to the crew. These are just the main reasons.** (Nami when she broke down infront of luffy in arlong park, ussop when his suspicions of being useless to the crew were confirmed because he wasn’t strong enough, robin when she was on top of the tower in enies lobby saying that they’ll be hurt if they stay with her, sanji overall.)

which sounds familiar, right?

now let’s do a checklist with zoro.

other than wano and the shimotsuki bloodline, zoro isn’t blood related to any higher powers or organisations. So we can mark off higher powers.

zoro has been called a burden 3 times during this arc, and looks like he’s under a bit of pressure.

zoro currently, of chapter 1110, falls under the self-blame category.

Oda loves to have continuing patterns in one piece. We know this.

(the continuing pattern of liberation, found family, etc.)

what I’m saying here is basically-

leaving the crew is a pattern that has only happened to the ‘humans’ so far, because of higher powers and self blame. Zoro is feeling self blame right now. it wouldn’t be far fetched to assume it could happen to him too!(zoro would also complete the east blue gang all leaving the crew at one point!) and I can back this up with point 3 !

3. Chapter numbers & number coding

If you didn’t know, one piece characters usually have stuff (colours, food, etc.) that coordinates with their character!

for nami, it’s tangerines.

for robin, its books.

etc.

this is done via the SBS question corner, or collective thoughts via the community.

With numbers, it can either be their birthday or just a number that suits them!

Luffy’s number is 56, and his birthday is the 5th of may! (5/6)

see what I’m getting at?

it’s also the same with zoro!

his colour is green, usually based of his hair or haramaki, number is 11, and food is booze.

What I find interesting correlating with the events of egghead, is his number.

His birthday is the 11th of November. (11/11)

His bounty is 1,111,000 beri. (As of the egghead arc.)

and as we know, the chapter we are currently on is 1110. What’s the next chapter?

1111.

which is his number.

I think chapter 1111 is when something happens to zoro!!! (Gasp!!!)

Oda ALSO likes to correlate some chapter numbers when they come back around.

(E.g. for the 1000th chapter of one piece, Oda redid a colour spread that was in chapter 100.

Dorry and Broggy were introduced to us In chapter 116, and pulled up to egghead in chapter 1106.)

SO!!

To summarise this whole thing -

I think that chapter 1111 will feature something happening to zoro that might make him seperate from the crew/leave, that correlates with him being called a burden 3 times this arc.

that’s all from me, if u have some to add or correct please do so!!! 🫶🫶

[respectthepetty]

Hiiii

please read this after you've finished ep8 (also cw/ discussion of s*icide)

What do you think about ayan's hesitation when his mom asked, “are you leaving me too?” it broke my heart. his attempt to smile just to comfort his mom and then shifitng the focus on akk and not himself. idk, i always thought akk might have s*icidal tendencies and i felt like ayan knew that too, that's why ayan is so overprotective of him. ayan blames himself for what happened to his uncle and he fears that akk's fate will be the same.... especially that ayan sees uncle dika in akk (i think). based on the old trailer, i always felt like akk's jump is just a product of ayan's fears (nightmares). but now this hesitation changes things, right? do u think the series was intentional in emphasizing ayan's hesitation in this scene? is he really thinking about it? And do u think the creators might actually go there? Also, do you truly think uncle dika's depression was a factor in his s*icide? uncle dika's words in the journal, showing he was depressed and had attempted multiple times before solidifies the theory that chadok did push him to the edge but is that the only reason?

im sorry if my thoughts are all over the place and i hope wasnt offensive in any way. i just cant get that scene out of my mind. because ayan looked like he was contemplating it but then just smiled so as not to scare his mom and i felt like that in itself says so much but im not sure if the series will ever go back to discuss this or parallel it?

Note to self: I miss you terribly

 Do you want revenge, or do you want the truth? - Lee Woo-jin, Oldboy [2003]

Trigger Warning – Suicide, self-harm

TLDR: Several others have written about this here and here, but I think Ayan’s a boy lost in his mission for vengeance.

In Oldboy, a movie about revenge, the protagonist and antagonist are so focused on revenge that they allow nothing to get in their way, and when they complete their revenge and the truth is revealed, the antagonist has nothing left to live for, while the protagonist doesn’t even know what to do with his life (this is a really tame summary of the film).

Who was Ayan before he transferred to this school? Did he have friends? Did he enjoy school? Did he have a life outside of school? Who was he before Dika died by suicide (and yes, I do think he died by suicide)? Who was he before he decided to go on this quest for revenge?

We know he met his uncle occasionally at the café. We know he was at the rival high school his uncle taught at until he died by suicide, but previous to that, he had been at a different school for a long time (his mother mentioned this during their phone call in the first episode). Even those tidbits show that Ayan was on a self-discovery journey.

Now, within a span of a few months, Ayan has lost the only person he felt understood him (through the phone calls, we see he has conflicts with his mom), he has distanced himself from his journey of self-discovery, and he has completely thrown himself into a hostile environment with one single goal in mind – to find out how this school contributed to his uncle’s death, so he can destroy it.

Throughout his mission, he has helped The World Remembers find the confidence to keep fighting, he has helped Thua find his voice to speak to his mother, he has helped Kan realize his feelings for Thua, and he is helping Akk with his fear of judgment, perfectionist tendencies, and eating (read: Akk is so stressed he isn’t eating!).

Who is helping Ayan though? Akk comforts him when others aren’t around, but the second he believes someone could see, he rejects Ayan. Thua warns him to not cause a ruckus, but that’s advice, not help. Nun, Nong, and Nian have each other and their boyfriends. Kan has Wat and Akk. Ayan has no one.

Ayan blames himself for Dika’s death because he believes if he had been there for him, it wouldn’t have happened. Now, he is trying to be there for everyone. Ayan is experiencing high levels of anxiety (grabbing the necklace), anger (fists curled up), sadness (crying at home, at school, and at the beach), and he isn’t sleeping (regular nightmares that also surface during the day). Ayan didn’t sleep in that tent because he has nightmares that wake him up. He didn’t sleep in that tent because Akk already made fun of the way he cries out in his sleep. Ayan wants to be vulnerable, but where? With whom? When?

Now, his journal, which is one of the last connections to his uncle, is missing. He can’t trust the people he wants to trust that they didn’t take it. He seeks comfort in the only place he can think of – Dika’s journals. He has read them often, as pointed out by his mother, but now he finds this page that he hadn’t seen before that outlines how Dika survived two suicide attempts, something he doesn’t seem to have known. If translated, the page actually goes into detail about those non-fatal attempts, and it’s…rough (hanging and overdose).

Ayan knew his uncle was suffering from a depression disorder, but the mom stated they thought he was well. They thought he was doing well, yet Ayan read that Chadok did something to affect his uncle’s recovery, an uncle who had two previous non-fatal attempts.

Whoever Ayan was before his uncle died has been lost in who he is now under the pressure of trying to save everyone including the memory of his uncle. And who is he now?! When his mom asks if Ayan is leaving her too, it’s ambiguous. Where is the Ayan who was happy? Where is the Ayan that was simply a high school kid? Where is the Ayan before all of this happened to him? Is that Ayan gone?

Ayan’s mental health is declining. However, that hesitation when answering seems to be one of reflection, something he hasn’t done. The music even stops. He has told no one that Dika is dead. Whenever he is asked, he changes the subject. Whenever he cries, he wipes away his tears and carries on. Whenever he gets upset, he smiles and flirts. He is training himself to be numb, so when his mother directly questions him, he has to evaluate his feelings.

But he doesn’t. He has a chance to really think about all that has happened to him and is happening to him, but that’s too real and he has learned that there isn’t space or time for that, so instead, he smiles and says all is well. And we see an image of the eclipse right after, which signifies his decision to continue on this path of vengeance. Then, he goes to Akk’s and demands that they search Chadok’s office.

We know all isn’t well at school, but much like Kan, Thua, and Akk, his defense mechanism kicks in – smile, nod, reassure. We know the school is getting to him, but he says it isn’t. He can’t tell his mom that because she’ll force him to leave the school, and Ayan can’t have that, not now that he KNOWS Chadok is linked to his uncle. His entire life is focused on that school. As with Akk, he is becoming more intertwined with the school each day, so who would he be without this school, without his mission, without his vengeance?

He’d be lost.

Ayan is having a Taylor Swift moment (yes, I wrote that). The Ayan his mom asks about is already gone. Whoever he was before he decided to seek vengeance can’t come to the phone right now because he’s buried him within himself, so he can focus on his mission for revenge.

Ayan believes finding out the truth will give him the revenge he is after but as the quote from Oldboy shows us, they are not one in the same. Ayan is already seeing that the truth (Akk being the curse) will not grant him the revenge he seeks. Reading Dika’s journal foreshadows that the truth of Dika’s death is much more complicated than Ayan initially believed. Ayan’s lost in his mission for revenge, but he is going to have to decide between wanting the truth and wanting revenge. If he continues on this path of revenge, it will be all-consuming and take Akk, the boy he wasn’t expecting, down with the school.

Ayan can have the truth or revenge, but he can’t have them both without losing something, and so far, he seems to be losing himself.

[skambane]

Hi! I love your blog! <3 Do you have any headcannons about rivusa as parents? Especially Riven? Idk why I always picture Riven as a girl dad to a little mind fairy! I’d love to hear your thoughts! :)

first of all, thank you very much, love!!! second, OMG you just opened a dangerous door because if there’s one thing that i have is for sure rivusa headcanons about everything. so lets go, headcanons for rivusa as parents:

- in my headcanon neither of them believed they would be good parents, so at first neither musa or riven would want to have kids therefore would be super careful for it not happen

- but you know… accidents happen so their first pregnancy would definitely be unplanned. musa would find out first and freak the absolute out about it, first for not believing she would be a good mom and second for being scared to tell riven, thinking he would hate it

- she decides to tell him anyway after not more than a few hours because she couldn’t bare to think about it on her own. she waits for him to get home, tell while freaking out and embraces herself for the caos of emotions she would feel from him (cause even though she can control her powers now, she’d be too nervous to focus on doing it) but for her surprise she felt nothing but calm. for the first time in their life together riven was calmer than ever. she’d say “fuck, riv im freaking out, why are you so calm? is freaking me even more…” and classic riven would chuckled an amused laugh because god she was cute.

“come here…” he would hug her and say “im calm because it’s us and we will figure it out together, muse, we always do…” in his mind, he could only think of how much he loves her and that maybe it would be nice to have a mini musa love too

- overprotective riven would be at it’s finest during pregnancy which musa thought it was cutest thing ever… for about month and then it started to drive her insane because he wouldn’t let her lift a pen. “riv, this is ridiculous, opening a can of beans won’t be the end of me” she says, he gets the thing out of her hands and say dead serious: “opening cans are dangerous, love. you are creating a whole person right now, go look pretty while sitting there and let me��

- riven would talk to their baby every night, no lullaby or cute stories ofc. he’d tell about their missions together, would explain all about mommy’s powers and about every single type of sword that exists because “kid, you have badass parents so you gotta get used to it”

- towards the end musa would prank him all the time “RIVEN MY WATER JUST BROKE” and he would fall for it and freak out every time, running around to get their bags 

- they wait until birth to know the gender but they were certain that it was going to be a boy… well, they were wrong. little sadie was born just as the sun was raising in the sky, healthy and perfect with a full head of dark hair and rosy cheeks just like her mom and beautiful green eyes like her dad.

- at first it was hard ‘cause sadie was the most stubborn baby ever but could you blame her? she’s her parents daughter after all… but eventually, after many sleepless nights and never ending days, they get the rang of things

- riven was such a girl’s dad, he would let her do absolutely everything to him from branding his hair, to painting his nails or reading his mind. “daddy, whats a wanker?” she would ask while he drives her to daycare after a car cuts them in traffic. “oh god, get out of my head kid.” he would answer fondly as always, looking through the review mirror to catch the green that matches his turn into purple. he absolutely loved that part, to see a piece of him turn into musa was simply magical.

- and sadie was a such a specialist’s daughter. she was fierce and fearless just like her dad, loving superhero movies and choosing every type of combat’s classes over ballet (and riven did mock musa so much for thing). she was for sure the bravest kid at any playground…

- but she was also a mindy fairy which could be confusing for a little kid. sadie cried the whole way home after the first time she felt that the other girls at school didn’t like her. neither riven nor the promise of icecream was able to make her feel better, only her mom’s hug.

“mommy, make it go away.” she pleaded in her mother’s arms. her green eyes drowning in tears while musa hugged her strongly, stroking the girl’s long black hair “it’s alright, baby, mommy is here, daddy is here… we are gonna figure it out together.”

- not taking away her daughter’s pain hurt musa more than anything in her entire life but she didn’t anyway, instead she promised herself to be a better parent than her parents ever were and she helped sadie to understand/control her powers

- they talked for years about another kid, mostly riven who was constantly in a state of baby-fever and he finally convinced musa when sadie was four but it took them two years to get pregnant again… but don’t get it wrong they were happily trying for those two years 😏

- and this time both of them were calmer from the start because they knew that no matter what happened… they’d figure it out together, as always.

come chat with me about rivusa

[crueclown22]

some benson and randy but mostly from benson. idk im thinking tonight so time to write 👍

this is just a lot of monologue and benson shit anything under a read more is going to be spicier, so keep that in mind

Benson couldn’t help himself but to dig his nails deeper into Randy’s hips, relishing in the mewl that comes from his lips. He scrapes them down, leaving slightly welted red marks down his thighs, joining in on the dark hickeys that covered the boys’ thigh. He’d always loved seeing him marked up, loving the process of it even more. The noises that Randy made had a hold on him, his source of encouragement throughout the entire sessions they had.

Benson rests his chin on Randy’s thigh, gripping his other thigh and pressing down hard on an especially dark bruise. He sees Randy almost sob, his legs shaking at the pain that ran through his body. It was one of his favorite things he’d ever done; throughout the few months they’d known each other, Benson was able to break him down in a way. Randy was already a pushover; however, with Benson….he finally began to enjoy it. And fuck, the boy did.

He’d tried to hide it at first, tried to hide the little noises he made and the twitches when Benson would bite just a bit too hard, smack him a bit harder than usual, but it backfired on him. It just encouraged Benson more, going harder and harder until he couldn’t hold back anything.

It was the most satisfying things to Benson; to watch how Randy broke down under him, just a small twitch of the fingers making him alert, sensitive. That was something else that Benson couldn’t get over, how sensitive Randy was. Due to their talk in the car, he knew that Randy was a virgin. Knew that he hadn’t changed that since they’d left, ran off and left the cops behind. Benson wouldn’t let it change unless he chose it. Was it controlling? Yeah. But he really didn’t give a shit about it.

He’d always hated how others had seemed so possessive over others, the phrase, ‘don’t even look at him!’, annoying the shit out of him. But as Randy entered his life, it all suddenly clicked. He was this….boy, this creature that could just be so easily told what to do. He could be manhandled so, so easily, and fuck, if he wasn’t pretty during the process.

Of course, he’d done nothing to change the virgin subject. Why would he? Of course, he wanted to see Randy, to see his little pet shake beneath him and be the first one to ever make him shake like that….but fuck, it was just so much fun watching him shake as he’s denied everything he wanted in that moment, watching him try not to thrash around. He didn’t even let Randy do anything to himself, his body almost as if it was his property, like it was made for him. And by the look of all the pretty bruises, the pretty hickeys, and that goddamn pathetic needy look in Randy’s eyes….

“You’re mine.” Benson mumbles, giving a soft kiss to Randy’s hip and pulling back. The corner of his lips curl up slightly, watching as Randy bucks his hips out of routine. Instead of bending down, trying to take care of him, he instead grabs Randy’s face, forcing him to look up at him with those teary and desperate eyes.

“Say it.” Benson hisses, tugging his head back but his hair. A shiver gets sent down Randy’s spine at the tug, his eyes rolling back slightly.

“M’ yours.”

[aroaceconfessions]

so im quite young but I think I'm aroace. I know I'm romance favorable definitely and sex-averse. things I know:

-I'm cupioromantic even if I don't use microlabels and won't say I'm cupio the majority of the time, I am

-I'd always be like "augh were too young to be having sex/dating/whatever" and soon that's not going to apply as much but it's still going to be my thought

-I think I've had 1-2 long term crushes. this makes me hesitant to ID as aro because I'm p sure I've HAD romantic attraction, just ya know twice in my entire life (for one of them my feelings were extremely strong, for like 6 months, and I wanted a relationship but every time I pictured us doing something sensual it was extremely weird. for the second sensual stuff came easy, I even dreamed about kissing them once lmao. but it was only like 2 weeks. a potential third was like 3 days, and idk if I wanted to date them but I also dreamed about us kissing?? I have no idea what that was) but basically I feel like I'd be like not really aro because I've felt a sparing amount of romo attraction

-on this note, I have dreamed about being in a romantic relationship with a LOT of people and I've crushed on 1-2

-aesthetic attraction is strong strong for me, where I mistook it for crushes often.

-I'd do the thing where I'd make up crushes to fit in and make my life feel more exciting because what could be more exciting than romance?? (now I could say cuddling with my cat or perhaps strawberry syrup on pancakes but amatonormativity was a biotch to my little self)

-I thought I was mspec for the longest time, not based off experiences but just like "would i be okay doing xyz with this gender?" and the answer was almost always yes but I'm a physically affectionate person and now the idea of like "let's kiss but platonically" is so appealing

-I always have kind of craved being in love or having someone crush on me, choose me. I don't think this was romantic attraction though- especially since I've struggled with being left out and being "no one's favorite" in friendships a metric crap ton. I was attracted to the idea of being wanted.

-one time my bsf (we were YOUNG young dear god why was i even wise to all this stuff at the time) admitted she had a huge crush on me like 9/10 intensity and I was flattered as fork but I wasn't romantically attracted to her. I said me too, 6/10 on feelings. I never had a crush on her but I would've been a-okay being in a relationship with her. and we "dated" and when she "broke up" with me it hurt but not in the way that "I love you so how could you" just that I felt this meant I'm no longer someone's top person.

-I would LOVE a qpr where we do traditionally romantic stuff^^ + calling someone my bf/gf?? wow /pos

-I think I'm experiencing aro grief and it's not the vibe

-relating to that one^^ I was afraid to ID as aro rather than greyro because I was afraid it was permanently cutting myself off from romance. I think I still subconsciously have that fear.

-the fact that I'm ace was never important to me like "duh I'm ace" so I don't feel the need to mention it ig?? it's just not important to me, is what it is. aromanticism takes center stage for me so I think I wouldn't use the SAM and just say I'm aro... but I feel like IDKKK it's weird okay feelings ufffff but if I identified as greyro I'd want to say greyroace I guess. this could change with time because I'm not at the age yet where I'm expected to be having sex.

WOW this was long, thanks for reading. I just needed to let all my thoughts and feelings out about this. I am still confused and conflicted but it's cool

[brandogenius]

I’m glad you’re doing good :D I’m doing pretty good today which is nice thank you for asking.

I feel the exact same way like I long to be in a loving wlw relationship and just being happy with someone but I just don’t know if that’s ever going to be possible as I’ve never had feelings for anyone like even as a kid I never had crushes like all my friends, I think I had a boyfriend for a day as a dare when I was like 10 and that’s it lmao

It’s a constant battle in my head if am I aro or am I just still not accepting the fact I’m gay cuz I’m still closeted. But I feel like I would’ve had feelings for someone already, like I’ve always been able to be like omg she’s so beautiful and things like that but I’ve never felt what everyone says having feeling for someone is yknow

Sorry for that rant I just hate the fact this is so fucking complicated like I just want to know who I am

-🌷

well i’m glad you’re doing good too!!

you don’t need to be sorry at all! i totally get it :( the last one especially (about being able to be like say someone’s beautiful but not being able to experience what others talk about when having feelings for someone)

i can say someone is really pretty and cute absolutely but i don’t know what it’s like to actually be attracted to someone! when i write idk julien or reader confessing to someone it’s from what i’ve learnt from media / reading / hearing stories from other people! part of me is like ‘am i broken?’ 😭 to wonder what it’s like to feel attracted to someone / in love? so much you want to spend the rest of your life with them!

i once had a girlfriend for a couple of months and we broke up (on good terms tho 🫶) i didn’t understand but when i look back on it it felt more like two close best friends. i just put it down as my first relationship but it felt more like a qpr than a romantic relationship if you get me?

it’s just a very confusing situation you know? my little heads like ‘i don’t want to label myself as something im not / offend people’ which is why i’m just like floating around

like i said ^^ you’re free to ramble away any time !

[neowinestainedress]

First of, I'd like to commend you for making and finishing such a wonderful story!

Second, I'd like to commend YN for being so much more mature than me lol, I still think though that Zoya and Haechan should've never been endgame no matter how made for each other they are. I still think yn deserves better than that and that Haechan deserves a little bit more "worse" than that. While I HATE CHEATING with a passion and would rather not have to justify it if both yn and haechan emotionally cheated on each other i think yn emotionally cheating is literally a long time coming/expected AND deserved with how haechan treats her at that. And while i know real life is not all karmas and sorrows, i still think haechan should've had a bad consequence of his actions, i hope he lost yn and by extention jaemin cause i never saw a bad "karma" given to him all he got was him being paranoid of losing yn which again i think is deserved. and honestly it gave me a little ick with how zoya and haechan immediately fucked each other after yn and haechan called it quits literally a minute ago lmaooo. so all im hoping in my own extended version of the fic in my headis that they dont last forever no matter how "made for each other" they are :p REGARDLESS! i still enjoyed the fic!!! especially all the non haechan parts HAHAHA i love your work so much and i hope you keep on writing banger fics, im just sorry that in my mind i hope heachan in this fic never existed cause he makes my blood boil lmao

Thank you! Sorry if I reply only now but I wanted to avoid spoilers as much as possible so I waited for a while.

Idk I would agree if Haechan was a bad person (like if he purposefully hurt her) but in my mind it wasn't like this so I can't see your point of view. He didn't act well, and I will never justify him, but even if he was a better boyfriend they weren't meant to last and were forced by their friendship so I think Haechan's coldness was the last drop that they both needed to wake up. Same thing for Haechan and Zoya fucking. I get it, I really do, but Hyejin and Jaemin had sex before Haechan and Zoya did, and also two months had passed from their break-up so to me it was a pretty reasonable amount of time to don't count as 'as soon as we broke up you went to her'. I agree with the fact that Hyejin had more reasons to morally cheat.

Also can I ask what you mean by 'hyejin deserves better than that'? Because she's having the time of her life with Jaemin so I don't know if you are talking about her past with Haechan or something else

I agree that he probably should've 'lost her' a bit longer but personally, I don't think he deserves to lose her forever. In real life it probably would've ended like you said but I wanted to show that there's growth in pain and just because something is not meant to be it means it has to hurt, and that if you can is better to forgive rather than hold grudges, especially if there's nothing you can do and the person that caused you pain didn't mean it. Probably it would've been better if more time passed between 'the hurting' and 'the forgiving' to make it look more realistic? Idk. Honestly, I didn't want to drag it too long but I also wanted to show that their relationship had run its course even in Hyejin's mind. The moment she stopped holding to the old idea of Haechan her feelings vanished too and so did the pain, that's why they started to fear for their friendship and not their relationship.

This is not an attack, I'm just trying to show my point of view and explain why I wrote it like this but your point of view is valid! (if it happened to me i'm not sure i would be as wise as hyejin so trust me when i say i totally mean what you say)

i still enjoyed the fic!!! especially all the non haechan parts I SCREAMED PLEASE

Nah don't worry, I get it a lot on my Haechan's fic, I promise I will stop writing him like this (even though I think he was much worse in sour for example even if he got better by the end) If you want to have the perfect boyfriend experience after this, read hits different, you won't hate him there

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it!

[firelord-frowny]

tw for discussion of a news story involving infant death in a particularly gruesome manner/circumstance???

im reading about that HORRIFYING story from a few months ago where a doctor accidentally fucking decapitated a baby as they were trying to deliver it???? like, apparently there were ~complications~ and the baby was stuck and so the doc was trying to pull it out by the head and its fuckin neck broke??? and then somehow during the subsequent emergency c section, the head came OFF???

literallyyyy i feel like if i were that doctor i would have had to just immediately kill myself. like obviously the parents are the ones going through the absolute most grief and shock and horror, but i feel like the doctor can't be too far behind in that omg! like even if she was criminally negligent or even just morally negligent in some way, OBVIOUSLY she did not wake up that day planning to fucking rip a newborn baby's head off.

but anyway, the family is taking legal action, obviously, as they absolutely should do.

but what kinda makes me go ????? is that one of the things they're mad about is the manner in which the hospital seems to have tried to hide the fact that the baby's head came off?? like, they say the hospital staff tightly wrapped the baby in blankets and propped the head up on the body to make it look like it was all intact, and then they let the parents see the baby through a window or something, essentially ~defrauding~ the parents into thinking the baby wasn't decapitated???

and im like!

well damn, what did you EXPECT them to do??? like did you really want one nurse to come and bring you the head, and then another nurse to come and bring you the body??? were they supposed to be like "ok here you go ma'am, your dead baby, and your dead baby's head." what the fuck!!! like idk man, i feel like something needs to be said for the fact that literally everyone involved was probably horrifyingly traumatized. i mean obviouslyyyy i don't know nothin bout nothin (especially not about birthin no babies) but my gut reaction is that trying to make it look like the baby wasn't decapitated was the only rational thing to do!

like goshhhhhhh if i had a baby that died during labor and somehow became decapitated, the LAST thing i would want would be to actually SEE that it was decapitated oh my god! I 100% would want the doctor/nurses/etc to go out of their way to create the illusion that my child wasnt fucking fatally dismembered. no parent deserves to see their child in multiple pieces oh my god! oh my godddd!!!!

and idk if i would ever WANT to know the true manner of death omg. like. babies unfortunately die all the time during labor complications. just say the doctor was negligent and call it a day. like. the only thing that could possibly be worse than having your baby die in labor is to have your baby die in labor because the doctor pulled its fucking head off! :(

but anyway. i feel like there was literally no Right Way to handle that situation because no matter what you do, it's horrifying. like, whether the hospital let them see the detached head or not... its still detached D: I doubt there could have been anything more or less they could have done that would have made it less traumatizing. like, i'm sure it was distressing to not be allowed to hold your dead baby and not understand why you weren't being allowed to hold it. But like... holding your dead baby and having its head roll off onto the floor would have been traumatizing, too! or having a nurse carefully place your dead baby in your arms while cautioning you "careful, don't let the head fall off" would have been traumatizing!

there's no ending to this story that could ever be anything but the highest degree of horrifying.

[girlwithfish]

sorry idk if u literally wanted someone's opinion so if not u can ignore this:

imo he's mostly in the wrong but i can see where he's coming from to an extent? not that i condone his behavior or words at all, bc it seems pretty shitty and tone deaf of him from what you've revealed. rather i think it's bound to be messy to rush into a relationship directly after ending a previous one, especially an abusive one. from his perspective i can see that it's probably a lot of responsibility and pressure for a partner to take on so early in the relationship. like u guys are still just getting to know each other, u know what i mean?

but i think that kinda falls on him and he should've known better, bc it seems like he wanted to move things very quickly and rush into gf/bf territory knowing your recent past and vulnerability. and now he is getting annoyed bc it's not the cake walk he thought it would be. i believe u mentioned he's older too which makes it worse. i can't help but be confused by how he's acting... like i agree w/ u that he is unnecessarily making it about him and expecting you to magically get over your trauma after only a few weeks. what did he think would happen?

i wouldn't blame u if u broke up with him bc i think u deserve to be drama free and heal and live ur best life rn. wishing u the best and i hope u don't mind this message.

thanks for the input! yeah i was actually asking haha. just weird bc ive been pretty transparent and open about still dealing w stuff and not being "over" my trauma. i feel like hes underestimating the effects of abuse and thought id "get over it" even saying he thought id get over my ex the more i was with him which is weird. especially in the beginning when he seemed understanding and presented himself that way. and i think that hes conflating me not being over trauma w not being over a typical breakup which is strange to me and i felt he hasnt been very empathetic toward me. i get its a lot of responsibility but idg why he wanted to date me then or he thought itd just be easy.. just weird mixed signals from him and lack of understanding. like him suddenly being upset w me for sleeping when hes repeatedly told me he doesnt mind. and i feel im not asking him for much or i dont use him as emotional support much or really even talk about my trauma or ex this month (in the beginning we both talked abt our past relationships a lot but stopped) besides the one time a few days ago when my exs mother reached out to me and i was upset for maybe 30min to an hr when we talked abt it and he offered his input which i found unhelpful Idk. and this was triggered all by him asking how i am ystrdy and i said im not doing the best but im getting by and said i didnt need to talk abt it tho and then he said hes seeing me decline bc i still ruminate over trauma and said some weird stuff abt how he feels hes contributing and idek i said im just in a weird place rn and im working through it and then also brought up relationship stuff btwn us how i feel hes not putting as much effort to show he cares and he kind of blamed it on my sleep schedule then went on a whole thing abt me and my trauma and how hes realizing its serious trauma i "need to sit with" and idk i dont feel hes being very kind or understanding and just presumptuous about my own situation. if he didnt wanna be w someone in my situation he shouldn't have dated me and acted like he wants a relationship and "loves" me when he barely knows me. also hes the same age as me

[miulore]

post the full ranttttt all the ikonics on twitter are acting like he was looking out for hanbin which i get from some of his replies but the one where he’s like he abandoned us and i hated him like was that necessary?? lost all respect for him especially like why are u saying all this when YOU don’t know what a condom is

pointless rant under the cut!

Like YES in terms of hurting ikons reputation in kr hanbin does come no1 but bobby is a close 2nd so idk why he's running his mouth because when it comes to ikons success hanbin is also no1 and bobby no2 so...

I had such a chill California dude image of him on my mind and it was shattered turns out he has such traditional Korean values.... "bad example for future gen" over some weed like ok mr out of wedlock pregnancy.... like ive been defending him since the news broke out clearly idgaf but why are u acting like a puritarian now?!?!?

and to say he felt HATRED and follow it with "STOP THE WAR" now whta did he expect?!?! "i love him” but the way he was talking about him doesn’t sound like that at all

"he abandoned us" lets put our thinking caps on.... if hanbin hadnt been kicked out then what?? ikn 2 yr hiatus?? feel like their relationship wouldve gotten worse than now.... would he have been able to promote w them in kr?? also im still like 60% he was kicked out/ forced to leave

I think they’re still bitter about the whole situation and honestly I get it I feel that there were/is so many things against ikon and that they couldn’t reach their full potential like the fact that yg literally did the bare minimum for them and then as soon as they were getting the spotlight the drug scandal hit. I get it. But like he didn’t have to bring it up again at least for old times sake like they spent so much time together. Is true that this is all going to bring negative light on hanbin yet again like the drug scandal discourse comes up every 6 months

and like yes they also went through a lot when it all went down and honestly i understand why he just broke down or w.e cause apparently ikonics were fighting on his comment section and sending hate to hanbin and apparently there were team b banners at their latest concert for some damn reason and it hurt chanwoos feelings but then he just kept going like dude YOU CANT WRITE STFU he couldve just idk commented "hey dont spread hate were two separate entities now but still care for each other" or some bs like that like hes been a public figure for a decade now.....

also ids are being RABID on twt rn like wtf did he expect like he's never been good w words to begin with