#if I can spend 6 hours of my day making something you enjoyed I'm sure you can spend 1 second of urs to reblog it

[septimus-heap]

I appreciate that there r people who don't care about getting reblogs and that's fine that's whatever but could they stop being so snooty about it

[yan-lorkai]

may i please request Idia, Azul, Jamil, and Floyd with a s/o that has a really bad sleep schedule, like literally can’t take naps and falls asleep at like 2 am and wakes up at 6 am. So they’re always really clingy and tired because of it

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: This is a mood. I started playing Mystic messenger again and like, my sleep schedule is all over the place because I refuse to lose even a single chat 😭. Needlessly to say but I'm sleepy all day but at least I'm getting a good ending for sure lol. Hope you enjoy this, darling!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Idia himself has trouble sleeping. He keep turning around so many time that if you were to share a bed with him, you would woke suddenly. Nightmare, anxiety and fears plague his mind, thus he turns to the only coping mechanism he has: gaming. He plays the night away before meeting you. After that, his heart start to beat normally and he can finally breathe, he can finally rest for a second. And then he finds out you have a worse sleeping schedule than him. You sleep really late and wake up really early.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ For once he feels the need to be the responsible one, inviting you to sleepovers just so he can make sure that you will be sleeping at an acceptable time, reducing the time you spend in front of screens or any caffeine. You will be sleeping this night and the after, and the other after that. He'll made sure of it. Plus, having you around is so good and you're always touching him in some form whenever you have a bad night. He like it even though he still flinch and blush whenever this happens.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Though no matter how much he loves to have you cuddling his back or hugging him because you're sleepy and can't take a nap, Idia will have your sleep schedule fixed. There can only be one insomniac in this relationship and it's him.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ It's a bit difficult for Jamil, though not impossible, to know you're not getting enough sleep at night. He himself works till the late hours and rise together with the sun. Still there are noticeable signs: you clinging to him, irritability, impulsive thoughts, slurred speech, and then he starts to realize you don't sleep at all some nights, doing whatever you spent time doing. And Jamil scolds you like he would Kalim. He is listing every negative effect on your health, how not sleeping can impact you on the long run, how you should fix it.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He make you some teas to sleep better, he'll even help you meditate so you can clear your mind. Though nothing he try works, so he casually move you into his room so he can keep an eye on you. He takes regular breaks when night starts to fall to see if you're still awake. If you are and he is free, which is rare, Jamil will lay down beside you and hold you tight, hoping that the warmth of his body and his soft humming can make you sleepy. If even this fail, he use the Snake Whisper to make you sleep.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Floyd is something else. He likes to experiment with how long he can stay awake before he succumbs to exhaustion, he does this often, laughing at the side effects the day after - though he also gets pretty moody the days he doesn't sleep. But only he can do this, you are required to sleep and take naps. He'll squeeze you gently on his arms, humming a little song while he pinch and poke at you to make you squeal. It's his way of telling you that he is here for you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Despite his fickle and quick change of moods, Floyd can be soft sometimes. And when he wants something, he gets something; he'll read for you to sleep or tell all about his day and the things he did, the people he squeezed, the dishes he cooked, at some point, even more when he is holding you closely, rubbing your back and pressing kisses to your neck, Floyd knows you're bound to feel asleep soon.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Azul knows the importance of sleeping well. A well rested mind is capable of analyzing, of observation and various other things he needs to keep his business running. He can see how you struggle, often draping yourself all over him, mumbling slowly and yawning every few seconds. He knows you don't have been sleeping well. The motive he inquiry you about; and he create a sleep schedule for you when he learn it's because you have a bad sleep schedule, altering everything you do every day so you can have a practical schedule that fits your academic life and free time.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ While that's more easy said than done, Azul tries to coax you into sleeping in his room under the pretende of watching a movie or two. He is shy like this, don't mind him. He knows what's good for you and he can pamper you and take care of you when you are nearby, tangling you in his arms and blankets.

[lamppost-t]

Hey babes !!!! If you aren’t comfortable with this that’s okay but I had an idea for a Joel miller fic.

This is in a universe with no clicker virus…. But ANYWAYS imagine being close with Joel and being a mother figure to Sarah??? And Joel is getting really comfortable with you around and he’s just so happy to see his daughter with a mother figure again :((( I wanna take her shopping and go on family outings with them and see them get their happy ending.

- Yours truly …. Harmonica

UGH YES I LOVE THIS SM

Girls day out

Pairing: Joel x reader, Sarah x Motherfigure!reader

Warnings: None just fluff and barely any usage of y/n

Summary: You take Sarah out for a girls day out for her birthday

Authors note: I had so much fun writing this btw its Fem!reader but I'll write more Gn!reader soon I swear TRUST, Thanks harmonica your literally my home girl!!

not edited, tell me if theres anything wrong it the comments (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

The hot blaring sun hit your eyes as you held Sarahs hand navagating through the outdoor mall. you guys had been out for hours, you wanted to treat Sarah to something special since Joel was working till around 6 and thought it would be a great time for you guys to bond, so you took a day off of work. "where do you want to go next?" you asked

"Uhm can we mabye stop for a drink?" she replied flashing a smile

You guys madeo your way to a small local coffee shop, one of your personal favorite that you grew up going to. you bought Sarah and you drinks and you guys sat down looking over your mountains of shopping bags. "thank you for this, I had alot of fun" Sarah said softy

"no problem I love having exuses to spend time with you" you replied, to be honest you loved seeing Sarah happy, Sarahs mom had left both Joel and Sarah a bit after Sarah was born and Joel put his all into raising Sarah. still, growing up without a mother figure was hard on Sarah and Joel had noticed. Joel felt horrible for her but there was really nothing he could do. when you and joel started dating and as you got closer to Sarah, Joel noticed Sarah become happier. "I'm really grateful for you y'know" Sarah said taking a sip from her drink "I'm grateful for you too"

When you got home Sarah put on a fashion show for you and Joel of clothes you had bought her.

"Are you ready?" she asked from behind the door, her voice emanating excitment.

"come on out" you laughed glad to see her so happy.

she came out in a purple dress she had been the most excited when she saw it, even though it was very expensive, you didn't bat an eye, beeing able to give Sarah nice things was something you loved doing. Sarah did a small twirl before looking at the both of you

"do you love it or do you love it?" she squealed

"its absolutely gorgous!" Joel said, a smile plastered on his face

"thanks Y/n got it for me!" Sarah joked smiling at you

the rest of the night you, Joel and Sarah watched movies and ate cake until it got late. Sarah had fallen asleep on the couch and Joel picked her up and brought her to her room. you followed and you both put her to sleep. you placed a kiss on her forhead and as you pulled the covers up you stepped back to make sure she was comfortable. you felt Joels hands wrap around your waist as he placed a kiss on your shoulder

"thanks for taking her out today" he said "I don't think shes ever been that excited" "no problem" you smiled.

you enjoyed spoiling Sarah and had no plans to stop.

[macabr3-barbi3]

God, That's Good

Chapter 7: Wait

Alastor tries to ease Lucifer's impatience, and Vaggie comes by for a favor.

Tags: more brooding, banter, A PROPER KISS

Before I rant about my writing wife some more, I do want to advise that once we get past this chapter, things will be getting quite a bit darker and more explicit. There's murder; there's blood; there's cannibalism; there's a little sex (not dark, but still warranting a warning I think LOL). If you know the musical/movie I'm sure you have a vague idea of what's coming. Be mindful of these things from chapter 8 onwards- I'll make sure to put specifics in the tags for each chapter but PLEASE don't read if you think these things might be triggering or upsetting to you.

Back to our regularly scheduled vibes- as always, huge thanks to @fraugwinska for helping me stick to a normal schedule and being one of my absolute best friends and most enthusiastic supporters 😍 ALSO thank you to everyone that has liked/reblogged/commented- this AU has me in a chokehold and I'm stoked that others are enjoying reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it

PSSSST: Wednesdays have even more to look forward to! If you love Alastor being a questionable hottie as much as I do, check out @hazelfoureyes with A Doe in Fall that is ALSO updating on Wednesday evenings! I promise I'm very normal about this story and Hazel's writing in general (she said, lying, being very not normal about either thing)

Chapter 1 🥧 Chapter 2 🥧 Chapter 3 🥧 Chapter 4 🥧 Chapter 5 🥧 Chapter 6  🥧Chapter 7

Despite her promise to visit soon, it’s a fortnight later and the Beadle still has not come by Lucifer’s barbershop.

He would be the first to admit that he broods on it. Between customers of his now booming business, he spends hours sat in his chair staring at himself in the mirror, trying to find the remnants of the man he used to be. He watches the tendons in his hands move as he shaves the gentlemen of New Orleans, thinking that they surely were not the same hands of Damien Diggory though they remained on his body all the same. Families came and went through his door, constantly reminding him of what he had lost, what the Beadle and Adam had to pay for, making his unease at her absence grow more every day.

He sat now in his empty shop with one of his razors in hand, staring down at the blue of his eyes reflected on the blade. He felt empty, numbness creeping from the pit of his stomach to his limbs and making his whole body feel like a hollowed out shell of a person- he looked the same, sounded the same, but the substance inside him was either missing or in the process of rotting where it sat. Charlie was still out of his reach, his revenge on hiatus until the Beadle saw fit to grace his shop with her presence. Everything was at a standstill, and the lack of activity beyond shaving was making him a madman, always pacing around the upstairs, approaching the entrance to his family’s old apartment and retreating like a coward.

A creak of the floor alerts him to the door opening, three soft knocks letting him know that it’s Alastor. He can hardly look the man in the eyes these days after he had embarrassed himself that night two weeks ago, when he had tripped into Alastor’s lap and pulled him into a kiss. It was embarrassment more than anything; thinking that he had reciprocated had been nothing but a figment of Lucifer’s drunk imagination, as Alastor hadn’t mentioned it since. Sometimes his eyes will fall on the younger man while Alastor is busy doing something else, and he uses those stolen moments to learn the curves of his face, imagining the blade skimming over his cheeks if he ever gave him the chance to give him a shave. 

Alastor comes behind the chair, leaning his elbows on the back above Lucifer’s shoulders. “I thought you had no customers today,” he says softly, watching Lucifer in the mirror. “What are you doing up here, hm? Plotting?” He smiles slyly, the corners of his mouth turning up and giving him a mischievous look. “Or pouting?”

“It’s been a fortnight,” he laments, snapping the razor closed and placing it on the stand beside him. “Why has she not come?” He stands from the chair and starts to pace- surely he looks like a madman, stalking between the apartment door and the sizable chest that held his spare towels and aprons, hands taking through his hair. 

Alastor sighs, his smile still in place. “Oh dear, a tantrum. How unbecoming. And just when I’ve started to think you were respectable.”

Lucifer scoffs. “Come now, Alastor- you don’t think it strange that she’s not arrived yet? You’d think such an ‘esteemed member of society’ could keep to a date.” Perhaps his air quotes and exaggerated accent were a tad childish, but it still makes Alastor laugh through his admonishment. “I’m… antsy, sitting around and waiting for her. They have to pay for what they did to Lilith, to me-”

“And they will.” Alastor leaves the chair to approach him, the proximity when he finally stops making Lucifer’s heartbeat pound in his throat. “Patience is key, my good man.”

“I’ve waited for so long already,” he groans. “Was fifteen years not enough? Must I wait another ten before I’ve avenged the wrongs against us?”

“So she’s a few days past when she said she would come,” Alastor says flippantly. “Do you not think that your over-eager manner won’t scare her off? Cause her to alert the Judge?”

Lucifer says nothing, not wanting to concede that he’s correct. He keeps his eyes on his feet, that hollow feeling returning to his chest and muffling the sound of Alastor’s voice as he continues talking. What would he do if she never came? Then surely Adam would never have reason to set foot in his parlor; he would never have his vengeance, Charlie would be lost to him, Lilith would be dead with nothing to show for his avenging her-

“Lucifer.” His head jerks up, and Alastor is watching him with narrowed eyes. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

He’s sure his face flushes. “Of course I did,” he lies, “you were… shit-”

The smile returns to his face. “I was saying,” he says softly, “that perhaps you can use the time to update your bearings. Get some flowers, hang some decor on the wall- that will likely sway the Beadle’s mind as far as recommending your establishment to the Judge, if the walls are not bare as though you’ve just moved in.”

“I have just moved in,” Lucifer points out petulantly. “I’ve only just started taking customers this last fortnight, I’ve not had time for bearings as you well know.”

Alastor claps his hands together, the sound making Lucifer jump. “I’ll send Husker for a floral arrangement for you- I think it will really cheer the place up.” He glances at Lucifer, a slow drag of his eyes up and down the barber’s body that almost makes him feel shy with the heat it contains. “I was also thinking that the unknown waiting period we find ourselves in is not a wholly bad thing. Perhaps I’m old fashioned, but I find that half of the fun in a plot is making the plan itself! Especially when one has a partner.”

And to Lucifer’s surprise he steps closer, bridging the already short gap between their bodies and taking Lucifer’s hands in his own. “I, for one, have also been enjoying this time simply getting to know you.”

He thinks his brain stops working, the way his mouth stammers to get out a response to that. “Oh! Well, I- I mean, I’ve also been, you know. Enjoying you.” Alastor’s head tilts in amusement, and Lucifer realizes what he’s said. “Enjoying your company, I mean! Fuck, I’m sorry-”

“There’s no need to apologize,” Alastor murmurs, and he releases one of Lucifer’s hands to slide around his back, pulling him fully into his chest. “We did say that we would revisit the intimate portion of that night when you were no longer intoxicated. Tell me, Lucifer, are you under any influence at this time?”

He doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he shakes his head. It shakes some logic loose- that kiss had been a mistake, the door wasn’t locked if a customer approached, he was less than ten feet from the apartment he had shared with his dead wife- but doesn’t stop him from allowing Alastor to lean in and press their lips together.

It’s so much better now that he’s not drunk. The kiss is soft and gentle for a bit, simply their lips touching as they learn the ways they fit against one another. It’s not until Alastor fists a hand in his shirt to keep him close that Lucifer even considers trying to deepen it. His hands tremble from nerves instead of liquor when he reaches up to hold the back of Alastor’s head, fingers threading through his hair while a broken noise tears itself from the back of his throat. Alastor responds in kind, making a soft sound that’s lost in Lucifer’s mouth as he parts his lips, his tongue shyly seeking entrance that Lucifer is all too eager to give him.

Lightning sparks behind his eyes, heat flooding his veins to pool low in his stomach, and he knows he needs to end the kiss before he does something that both of them may regret- though he hates to break the intimacy of the moment, ravishing Alastor in his parlor was not on his agenda for the day. He would need time to plan, to properly court the baker perhaps before inviting him to his bed- not to mention the extra time he would need to whisper pleading prayers to Lilith to forgive him.

Lucifer pulls back, his resolve nearly broken when he sees the way that Alastor’s lashes flutter, a noise of confusion escaping him. “We-” He clears his throat, embarrassed at the low rasp of it. “We should stop for now. Which is not to say that I don’t want to kiss you more! I do, very much,” he rambles, and Alastor merely blinks slowly and watches his mouth move as he had that first night. “Just, we should take this a bit more slowly. I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness-”

“Rest assured, Lucifer,” he purrs, “you are not.” And that makes him lose his train of thought for a moment, with how husky and low the words come from Alastor’s mouth.

“Haah, well, still. I would like to take this a bit slower and do it right. If you would allow me to, you know, properly court you, I would very much like to do so.” He sounds stupid, he realizes, like a child with a crush asking them to check ‘yes’ or ‘no’ on a piece of paper; he just hopes Alastor isn’t put off by the formal request. Perhaps he would prefer something unspoken, more blinding, unplanned kisses that steal both of their breath and leave them panting and wanting more.

But thank God, Alastor simply smiles at him and takes his hand again. “I would like that as well,” he says, and Lucifer thinks he could just collapse from the relief he feels. “We shall go at whatever pace best suits us- though I hope you’ll forgive me if I seem a bit impatient at times.” He watches Lucifer’s neck as he says this, and the barber knows he follows the movement of his throat as he swallows. “But by that logic, if I can wait for what I want, surely you can as well.”

Lucifer opens his mouth to respond- to admonish him, or perhaps pull him in for another kiss- when he hears the creaking of the stairs. He has just enough time to step back from Alastor before the door swings open, and he manages to hide his disappointment that it is not the Beadle, like he hoped, but Vaggie.

“Mister Morningstar!” She crosses the room to greet him with an enthusiastic handshake. “It’s been ages, I haven’t had much time to make it to this side of New Orleans but I’m happy to see you’re in business. And hello to you as well, sir,” she offers to Alastor, who gives her a small smile and turns to tidy something on the shelf behind him. “Mister Morningstar, I admit I have a favor to ask of you- there’s a woman, you see-”

Alastor scoffs behind them, and Vaggie’s eyes narrow into slits before she continues. “She is kind and beautiful, and stubborn beyond belief; she’s opened my eyes to so many new ideas and theories, and- her guardian poses a problem to any intentions I may have towards her, but late last night as we talked and the Judge called her away, Charlie slipped this into my hands.” She holds up a key, dark and dangling off a red ribbon. “It must be a sign, don’t you think?”

“Charlie?” He could hardly dare hope that it was her- that the Judge Vaggie spoke of was Adam, that such an opportunity to have her back was simply being dropped into his lap like this. “Charlie. And, the Judge, you say?”

“Charlie- Charlotte, I suppose, that is her name. And the Judge Cain and his lackey, the Beadle Sera Dempsey. They patrol the alley behind Cain’s home at random hours but despite this we’ve found days that we talk for hours before they can interrupt us. She is perfection, Mister Morningstar, and even if she doesn’t return my feelings I want to see her free from these jailers she’s in the care of. If I can convince her to leave with me tonight- perhaps later in the week, depending on when that horrid Judge is home- could I bring her here for shelter for an evening? Just until I can find a coach for hire to take her North with me, or wherever she wishes to go.”

She finally stops talking, taking a deep breath while she waits for Lucifer to answer her. He finds his words stuck in his throat- yes, bring her, please, bring her to me- and is dismayed to find a lump in his esophagus, halting his words behind the threat of tears. He clears his throat, blinking his eyes a couple times to rid himself of emotion. “You may bring her here,” he says, his heartbeat rapid in his veins, and Vaggie’s face lights up with joy. 

“You’re a blessing, sir, thank you! I hope to see you again tonight, but in any case, I’ll come with Charlie soon!” She shakes his hand again, the force of it making him stumble, before she releases him and is back out the door as quick as a flash.

He turns almost absently to Alastor, who gives him a smile. “Who could have guessed?” He says cheerfully. “You’ll have her back before the week is out- possibly even before the day is done!”

“Charlie will be coming here,” he says distantly, and then it hits him like a train. “Charlie is coming! Oh God, what will she think of me? I need to- shave, maybe, or- should I grow it out? My beard was grown out when she was young, maybe that’s why she no longer recognizes me-”

“Lucifer.” 

Alastor approached him slowly, like one might a feral animal- and that’s what he had felt like lately, some untamed beast stalking around his shop, so perhaps Alastor was right to take a cautious approach. “Perhaps we focus first on getting her here before you spiral about letting her know who you are, hm?”

“You’re right,” he says, and thank God for Alastor to help him keep a level head. “Of course, making sure she gets here safely is the most important part. But- we should clean the place up a bit! How soon do you think Husk can bring those flowers you mentioned? And I can dust the apartment, make sure that everything is tidy-”

He’s interrupted by the creaking of the stairs again, the bell at the bottom ringing loudly to signify someone coming. He expects Vaggie again, or even perhaps the Beadle at last. But to his confusion, it’s neither- Sir Edward Pentious stands in the doorway, his small assistant at his side and carrying a bag that was far too heavy for her slight frame and causing her to tilt to one side. 

“Sir Pentious,” he greets cordially, “and… young lady.”

“I’m Niffty, sir,” she giggles, reaching a hand out to vigorously shake Lucifer’s. “Nice to meet you when you aren’t beating my boss in a shaving contest- and his shop is way nicer than yours too,” she directs to her employer, and he flushes a dark shade of red. “Are you sure you want to be a barber?”

“Niffty,” he hisses, and gently shoves her behind him. “I was hoping to speak with Mister Morningstar alone,” he directs to Alastor, who shrugs with a soft hum and leaves Lucifer’s side.

He meets Niffty at the door. “Well, aren’t you just a little wisp of a thing!” He says when he sees the bag she carries. He takes it from her hands and gestures her down the stairs. “Come along, I’ll see if I have anything adequate for you to eat…”

His voice and Niffty’s enthusiastic reply fade as they descend, leaving only Lucifer and the growing grin of Sir Pentious.

Again, a secret little 'so sorry, gotta do it' for the next chapter. Pour one out for Pentious y'all

Chapter 1 🥧 Chapter 2 🥧 Chapter 3 🥧 Chapter 4 🥧 Chapter 5 🥧 Chapter 6  🥧Chapter 7

[darkbluekies]

Silas asks #6

Previous one Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3 Warnings: bruises, unhealthy relationships, mentions of marking silas up

What if I made silas a angry steak with vinegar 😡ok that sounded werid but here's the angry steak recipe 😂vinagear sauce, microwave that steak

He'll make sure all of your meals are cooked in dishwater.

What if after the "basement session" Silas find out that now the little thing has a really strong self harm tendencies? Like she start to bite herself, physical abuse herself and not only that! She start to call herself "dirty" (or smt) and her self esteem start to go down very fast. Is Silas will help s/o with it or he'll like it? Hope not the second option <;;:(

Of course he'll hate it :( he doesn't like when you're hurt, hence why he uses the basement as a punishment and not something physical. He hates to see painful marks on your body. He loves to see you painted in bruises, but not the ones that hurt. He'll make sure to tell you how beautiful and worthy you are so make sure that you know how much you mean to him. He'll dress you up in soft, fluffy clothes until you look like a marshmallow to make sure you won't hurt yourself.

"Come here, little thing, fuck, I love you so much. Please don't think like that. You know I don't want you to be hurt. I'll make sure you get well, I'll even call a doctor if you want ... I'll do anything to make sure you're happy, okay? Tell me what to do."

I was re reading your Valentine’s Day post with and I was wondering if he would be the type of yandere to buy his darling lots of clothes and made her spend hours trying them on in front of him? Ps you’re my favourite blog on this app, your writing is amazing and I’m always excited for your next post

[I did two valentines, but I'm guessing that you mean Silas? Thank you so much, btw that makes me so happy <3]

Of course he's the type to make you into his personal little runway model. He'll sit back in a chair and watch with dark eyes, loving everyhting you put on.

"And spin ... good job. I like that one. We'll get that one. What do you mean 'it's short'? It's supposed to be. I'm the only one who will see it anyway, so why does it matter? Try next one. I'm enjoying this."

Hey how are you? I just came back from school and was watching in the gym and saw some kids practicing taekwondo, so I was wondering how would Silas react to his darling knowing taekwondo and can be his ass? Would he be amused or frustrated I just wanted to know cuz I kept thinking about it for about an hour before saying it now. I hope you had a good day :) -new anon

[I'm doing good, thank you!!]

He'd be both frustrated and amused. He would be able to playfight with you and not have to worry about you hurting yourself, but he'd be worried that you would be able to escape him easier now. If you weren't showing any signs of running away, he'd not think much about it and would enjoy getting lessons from you. If you could teach him how to be as good as you, he'd be able to protect himself and you better.

"Like this? No? Y/N, seriously, teach me. Stop playing around."

How would Silas react to a reader with a bad light sensitivity disorder? Like irlen syndrome? I have it and it realy makes me feel isalated as no one elce i have met has had it in eny form (and i have move a LOT) if u dont want to do that what about an s/o who has dislexia? (As u can probarly gess i have that to. Life is so cruel 🥲)

Whatever problem you might be facing, whether it be physical or mental, he will be there for you. If you feel that it's hard to use your eyes, he will go to every doctor to try to find some kind of glasses to help you and if there are none, he'll be your eyes. The same with spelling and reading. He'll do everything for you. You don't have to lift a pretty finger :)

I would've spent all of babygirl silas money the first day tbh

my eye is twitching at that nicknAME

Hii I just read white bunny and I thought it was so good! It got me thinking about whether Silas would carry on treating the reader gently if they improved mentally or if he would go back to the way he was treating them before they ran away?

He would continue to treat them like he is. He's terrified of hurting you again and since you seem so happy when he treats you like this ... then he'll continue. Whatever you want, he'll do for you, don't worry about it. He's here for you ... always.

Hear. me. out.What if darling (s/o? Still don't know difference) ENJOY being in a basement (I am talking about Silas by the way) I mean, they (sorry i forget if s/o (darling) has a gender) think it's something like a minute just for them. No talking, no these annoying "baby" or "little thing", no forced touching. Just you ...and cold floor.

He'll be so pissed and change his tactics. You're not supposed to like his punishments! So you like the dark and quiet? No more of that. He'll be cuffing you two together and talking to you nonstop about how perfect you are and how he's going to keep you for as long as he wants to, aka really getting into your head.

I kinda want to bite Silas, he seem so chewy and acidic, green sour patch kid, especially his cheek, let me bite Silas, I need to bite Silas-

I mean ... he'd 100% like it so go ahead, leave some marks while you're at it.

[sammysstolenbirks]

silver storm

chapter II

I'm really enjoying writing this so far so i might just speed run it atp 💀 also there might be some typos, I've been righting bits and peices at like 3am but I'm trying

WARNINGS

angst, swearing, mention and uses of drugs and alcohol, mentions of mental health issues, death, smut (eventually)

JOSH POV

i wake up to the sound of my alarm blasting in my ear. i quickly shut the annoying sound off and check the time. 6:30. perfect. i get up and stretch before heading to the bathroom. unsurprisingly sam is already in there, no doubt styling his hair. and they call me a diva. i bang on the door "Cmon sam other people live here too"

Sam yells through the door "i got here first, you can't wait 10 minutes?"

"We both know your gonna spend an hour in there. Hurry your ass up."

I hear Sam yell something else but its too late for me to hear as i walk back to my room to check my phone. I smile as I see a text from y/n.

𝐲/𝐧 ☀

𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐢 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐥. 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥?

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡

𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐧𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭. 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐤?

𝐲/𝐧 ☀

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 :)

i smile at my phone before hearing Sam finally getting out of the bathroom. I run to it before he has a chance to change his mind and take another 40 minutes. I finish up my morning routine which consists of showering, personal hygiene things, getting dressed and grabbing all of my stuff before walking downstairs. Im just about ready to leave when I hear Sam behind me.

"Hey Josh? Can I catch a ride to school? Jake took my car to see valerie again and he's not back yet, surprise surprise.

I consider telling him no, as I'm sure he doesn't want to see y/n this early, but that thought is quickly replaced with the possibility of them getting along.

"Yeah sure Sam let's go"

Y/n would never come if she knew Sam was invited, and Sam would try to find another ride if he knew where I was going. So I decided not to tell either of them. Maybe they could put their differences aside for one morning, and maybe that could turn into a couple mornings, and before I know it I'll be an uncle. Okay maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but it would be nice for them to be friends at least.

Sam and I get into the car and drive. I see his confusion through my peripheral vision as were not driving on the road we normally go to school on.

"Uh Josh? Where are we going?"

"Oh did I not tell you? Were getting coffee this morning... With y/n." I try to fight off the grin creeping onto my face, but just let it take over. Sam looks at me like I just shit in his Cheerios. He scoffs writhes in his seat like a toddler. Typical sammy

"Are you kidding Josh? Yeah I think you forgot to mention that. Asshole."

I chuckle "youll thank me one day"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean"

I simply shrug my shoulders and smile. as we pull into the parking lot I see y/n through the window of the tiny shop on her phone. i smile at the sight, while I'm sure Sam had a completely opposite expression. I park and have to bribe sam with a free coffee to get him to go inside with me. We make it inside and make our way to y/n, whos jaw clenches as she sees sam dragging his feet behind me. I say a silent prayer that this won't go nuclear, But knowing them, this will be world war three.

Y/N POV

As I see Josh come around the corner, i smile widely. but as he closes the gap between us, i see the raven haired boy strolling behind him. There goes my hope for a good morning. i get up to greet Josh, pulling him in a hug, also preparing to reprimand him for bringing Satan himself.

"Hey kid" Josh says, searching my face for a reaction.

"Hey" i lean up into his ear to whisper, "why is he here?"

"He needed a ride since jake still has his car, seeing you know who"

I nod and feel my eye twitch "can he stay in the car"

Josh chuckles "itll be fine y/n, who knows, maybe you'll enjoy it"

I roll my eyes and chuckle. We sit down and a waitress comes to take our order with a smile

"good morning guys, what can I get y'all?"

Josh answers first, reading the lady's name tag, "good morning to you too, 𝘚𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘢, Could I get a chai tea latte please?"

"Of course," she says smiling at him, clearly charmed by him already. Josh always had that affect on people. "And how about you guys?"

"Matcha latte" "Matcha latte, please" Sam and I say at nearly the same time. We look at each other, both of our muscles tensing, making a cloud of tension overcome the quiet little corner of the shop. we stay like this until he clears his throat, "actually just a coffee. Black" he says as he fixes his gaze onto his interlaced hands resting on the table. Sabrina nods, clearly confused. She smiles and says "yeah I'll be right back with those" Josh sends her an apologetic look which she smiles at and walks away to the counter.

Josh chooses to ignore what just happened, turning to me and starting up a conversation. Every so often I would catch myself looking at Sam from the corner of my eye, finding him in the same position as before. I think about why he decided to change his order. he was probably just being childish, not wanting to have anything in common with me. I laughed internally at it, but a part of me was slightly hurt, and I didn't understand why.

Sabrina eventually came by with our drinks, and from the corner of my eye, I swore I saw Josh pass her a napkin, but when I gave him a confused look, he only offered a shrug and a smile.

When it was time to go, we cleaned up the table the best we could and made our way to our cars.

"See you in a bit kid" Josh says as he smiles at me with a wave

"See you" you return his smile and we all drive to school.

The morning classes went pretty normally as most do, apart from the lingering thoughts of this morning swirling in your head. Why did it upset me? Sam is just an asshole, i should expect these types of things from him. Whatever.

Lunch finally rolls around as i sit at my table with my friends, well, acquaintances, making sure to keep an open seat for Josh like I promised. I finally see Josh roll in, about 10 minutes late (shocker) and he makes his way over to me. he reaches the table and smiles and sighs as he sits down.

"Who knew being an assistant could be so stressful?" He chuckles

"Well you know who our director is, shes crazy. shes going to drive you crazy too."

"Yeah.. I guess I shouldve known, Mrs. Vanderbilt is.... yeah"

"I bet you're doing great though. What are you doing for the play so far?"

"Well right now shes focused on making sure we have plans for the set, doesnt want to make the same mistake as last year"

Josh laughs as he refers to last year's play, where in the middle of the most heart wrenching scene, a wall fell down, making everyone break character and it was a mess.

I laugh and nod and I continue listening to him tall about his new duties. As he finishes up, he adds a comment that makes me jaw clench.

"So have you thought at all about your audition?"

"Not really.. Ive never really done plays before, well aside from little kid ones. But never ones like this. I don't even know what I should prepare, what I should wear.. " i feel my mind start to spiral, but Josh quickly puts a stop to it.

"Well consider yourself lucky, you have a man on the inside who knows exactly what she's looking for" Josh says as he smiles widely at me, "besides I can always bribe her too, she's weirdly obsessed with subway" Josh says with a wink.

I smile and try to listen to his advice. Maybe I really could get the lead. And maybe this would just be the beginning. The push I need to finally put myself out there. Maybe.

JOSH POV

After helping y/n with her audition, I finish up the rest of my assistant duties and head home for the day. I see jake sitting on the couch as I walk in the front door.

"Hey Jake, finally home I see"

He rolls his eyes at me and smiles "Valerie wanted to hang out longer, I couldn't say no"

I sigh and laugh "yeah I get that, but next time, get your car fixed and don't take Sam's. I had to take him to get coffee with me and y/n this morning."

"Oh man, how was that?"

"Wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be actually. Who knows, maybe they'll finally get along soon"

"We can only hope" Jake says with a laugh. I nod and laugh as well before heading upstairs to my room

The rest of my afternoon is filled with editing some lyrics to show to the boys later. This song has been in the making for many, many years, y/n being the muse. I wrote this so when we eventually have to leave each other to go to college, or in my case travel the world, hopefully, she can always come back to it and it would remind her she's never alone, no matter how it may seem. This song also helps remind me that home is where ever the people you love are, and I hope she interperates it the same.

as I'm finishing up, I hear the front door open. 3:13.

I hear shuffling up the stairs and I open my door to investigate. I see sam basically dragging himself up the stairs. He notices my presence and looks up at me. On his face I see a purple tinted bruise protruding around his eye. He looks pissed.

"Hey what's up, you look like hell"

"Dont fucking talk to me right now."

I stop him with my arm before he has a chance to walk by me

"Hey, im here for you, you know that right? Talk to me. What's going on?"

He sighs, accepting defeat, "I got in a fight."

"Yeah I gathered that" I laugh "why? What happened?"

"Just some kid I had to put in his place"

"Okay, did they call mom"

"Yeah, she said they made an arrangement so I wouldnt get suspended or something like that. I dont know. She said she was gonna call me tonight and let me know what they thought"

"Okay, that's good. It doesn't sound like it'll be too bad" I sigh with relief and put my hand on his shoulder, "if I can help you out with it, I will okay?"

He looks at me and offers me a small smile, "Yeah, thanks josh"

"No worries, little brother" I say as I ruffle his hair. He laughs a little before pushing me away softly and going to his room and shutting the door.

I continue on with writing before I see the time and decide I should make some food.

I go down stairs and start on my signature dish, chicken alfredo. As im draining my noodles, I see my phone light up, its y/n

𝐲/𝐧 ☀

𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡

𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐭.

I exit messages and google Romeo and Juliet. I scroll for a bit before finding the perfect one. Mrs. Vanderbilt's favourite scene.

𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝟒 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝟑. 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝. 𝐌𝐫𝐬. 𝐕 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 😉

𝐲/𝐧 ☀

𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐮

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐝

I smile as I shut my phone off and finish up my dinner. I yell at everyone in the house that its ready, and my twin and sister come barreling down the stairs.

Jake is the first to say anything "hey thanks, 𝘮𝘰𝘮"

"Yeah whatever asshole, you wouldn't be eating this good if I wasn't here so shut up and grab a plate" I laugh at Jake and see Ronnie comming up to me

"Thanks J, im starving"

"Yeah of course, wheres Sam?"

"He should be comming? Im sure he heard you, how could he not, you probably scared the whole neighborhood" she says as I lightly shove her head away on my way upstairs.

I reach Sam's door and lightly knock, "hey dude I made dinner, you hungry?"

"Hey no, but could you come in here for a minute"

I walk in to see Sam sitting at his desk with his head in his hands

"Hey what's up? Are you okay?"

He sighs before looking at me "mom called."

"Yeah? What, is it bad? Theyre not sending you to boarding school are they?" I laugh, trying to cheer him up

"No, worse."

"Tell me already Sam, what?"

"Theyre making me do the fucking play."

My jaw drops as I fight a smile from creeping onto my face

"Oh. Well, i mean that's definitely not the worse thing that could happen. Why are they having you do that though? That doesn't seem like a punishment"

"Well yeah to you it wouldn't."

"That's fair. What are they having you do? Stage crew or something?"

"No. I have to be fucking Romeo. This is all your fault. She said that no other guys fit the role and they thought since im your brother I 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 be as 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 as you. Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is? My friends will have a fucking field day with this."

"Sam it'll be okay, Ill help you out, im helping y/n too. Maybe you guys could work together?" I regret the words as soon as they come out of my mouth. That'll just make this worse right now. My thoughts are proven to be correct as he speaks again "just get out. I need to sleep or something"

"Okay, are you sure you dont want any good? Its alfredo."

"I said no, just get the fuck out dude okay?"

I sigh and nod as I walk out and shut the door behind me. I walk downstairs and give a look at Jake, who immediately understands to not say anything to me right now. He strikes up a conversation with Ronnie to get the attention off me as I take my plate and head up to my room. I eat and think about my interaction with Sam. This can't be that bad, hes just being dramatic. Who knows? He might end up enjoying it or getting something out of it. Same with y/n. I know they both can really benefit from this. I just have to show them.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone lighting up, I smile as soon as I see the notification.

☕️

𝐇𝐢, 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡?

A WEEK LATER

AUDITION DAY

Y/N POV

Ive been dreading this all day. What if im not good enough? What if all this staying up late, memorizing a huge monologue was all for nothing? No. Josh said it would be fine. It'll all work out. I step into the auditorium, immediately searching for josh, who I see on stage giving pointers to some helpless freshman who looks absolutely petrified. That's gonna be what I look like up there. I make my way down to the seats, taking an aisle one about 5 rows away from the stage. There's a good amount of people in the room, some doing vocal warmups, some doing last minute read throughs just to make sure they have everything memorized. Every one except one person. a boy, slumped into his chair, hood up, sitting on his phone. I studied him for a minute, wondering who it was before my curiosity was satisfied. The boy sits up in his seat, looking around the room to see everyone who showed up, before his eyes stopped on me. I see Sam in an auditorium. No, that can't be right, I do a double take before realizing that it is, in fact, Sam.

He notices my double take before smugly smiling at me and returning to his phone. I roll my eyes and revert my focus back to Josh, he sees me and basically jumps off the stage and runs to me

"Hey kid, are you excited?" He says with the biggest smile

"Trying to be" I say, forcing a smile which he notices

"Hey, it'll be great. I know how much you practiced and Mrs. V would be an idiot to not cast you. Maybe don't tell her I said that.. I don't want to end up dead by tomorrow." He laughs and hugs me "I have to go but I'll see you up there! Remember, you can do anything you set your mind to" he says with a wink

I smile back and repeat his advice over and over in my head. I can do this. Josh will be here and even if I don't get cast, I can say I tried. More than I could've said 5 years ago.

As the time grows closer for my audition, I feel my hands get sweaty and my breathing increasing. Why is this so hard? It's just reciting a paragraph and moving my arms as I speak. It shouldn't be this nerve wracking. My mind continues to spin and I barely notice the presence stepping up behind me

"Y'know I can hear you breathing from across the room right?"

I turn around to see Sam, once again

"Well sorry if my breathing annoys you sam. Not my fault I need to to live."

He rolls his eyes "your just being dramatic about this. It'll be fine."

"Shut up I didn't ask you for advice. What are you even doing here"

He starts to speak before he is interrupted by my name being shouted across the room. I turn around to see Josh and Mrs V waving me over. It's time. I take a deep breath and wipe my hands on the front of my jeans before making my way onto the stage. I am immediately blinded by the big lights, making this experience feel more real and terrifying.

"Whenever youre ready y/n" Mrs V says with a smile. I look over to josh, sitting next to her, for one final boost of confidence. He smiles at me and blows me a kiss. I smile and take one more breath before starting

"God knows when we shall meet again. I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins, That almost freezes up the heat of life.... "

I go through the motions of what I imagine Juliet to look like, giving looks of desperation, throwing my hands up in defeat, stumbling to my knees. I start to get a little emotional as I finish up my last line

"Romeo! I come! This do I drink to thee"

I bow my head, signifying her death, as I wait to be excused from the stage. Instead I am met with silence. I dare to look up and see Josh, his jaw slightly dropped, and Mrs. V with tears in her eyes.

"My stars, Y/n. Who is this new person? That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much dear." She says, smiling wide.

I blink in disbelief. I did it. And they seemed to like it. I sigh with content and make my way to the seats. I trip over my own feet coming down the stairs and try to protect my head from the impact of the floor. But to my surprise, it never comes. Instead, I am met with the feeling of something holding me up, maybe my guardian angel, probably Josh. I open my eyes to see Sam looking down at me, his face softened. I look back at him and blush a little bit before straightening myself back up and looking to the floor before my attention is drawn back to the front row, where Mrs V and Josh are sat. I hear her say "So you've met our Romeo I see". My head whips to Sam, who has a sour expression on his face, obviously not happy about it either. I chuckle involuntarily, and it only grows as he gives me a dirty look, rolling his eyes.

"Wow... Acting? I could never imagine you doing that"

"Yeah well I couldn't imagine me doing it either, but here we are. Actually, I could never imagine you doing this either. Thought for sure you'd choke up there and go running back into the arms of your precious little Josh. Oh well, it's not too late. Maybe it'll happen on opening night" he says with a fake smile, obviously trying to upset me. I glare at him, trying to speak, but nothing is comming out. "What's wrong? Nothing to say?"

I sigh with frustration and start, "listen, asshole. Unlike you, I actually tried to get a role instead of just sitting back and it falling into my lap."

"Yeah well this wasn't my first choice, believe me."

"Oh of course. Sam Kiszka always has more important things going on. Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence. Y'know I feel bad for whoever Juliet will be, they'll have to put up with you all the time"

He glares at me before leaning towards me, making me walk back and hit my back on the ledge of the stage, "Oh yeah? Luckily for both of us, you'll never be Juliet."

That stung a little. But it's Sam, he has no idea what he's talking about

"Fuck off"

I say as I storm past him, shedding off the burden of our conversation in my trail. I decide to just head home. I'll see Josh in the morning and we can talk about everything then

Right now I need a break.

SAM POV

I don't know why I'm forced to sit in this godforsaken auditorium watching all these girls audition for a part they're most likely never going to get, except for the 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘺 girl who does. She'll get so excited over something so miniscule as a couple lines in a mediocre high school production of a Shakespeare play.

They're all so desperate.

I think back to my conversation, well, argument, with Y/n. I don't know how Josh ever got her to do this. Her audition wasn't even that good, yet Josh and Mrs V seemed to be eating it up. I mean, sure, she spoke clearly... and slowly... beautifully- I shake my head before my thoughts go too far. Its only beautiful because Shakespeare is beautiful, Not a compliment to y/n. She probably won't even get the part anyway, so this was just a waste of time for her. She's lucky not to be given a part. This is going to be torture.

Hours and hours of rehearsals, my friends inevitably calling me names in the hallway, trying to create chemistry with whoever my love interest is..

This is my own personal hell

And it could've all been so easily avoided.

That fight was ridiculous. Why did I care so much what he said? It's not like it's anything I haven't said before. My mind starts re-enacting the scene in my head,

"𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦, 𝘺/𝘯'𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘑𝘰𝘴𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘥. 𝘞𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥. 𝘋𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤."

𝘔𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘺/𝘯'𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦. 𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦. 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥. 𝘞𝘦 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳.

I bring my mind back to reality and shake my head. It's all 𝘩𝘦𝘳 fault. Why does she constantly plague me and my thoughts even though I resent her?

Still,

Why do I care about her?

Taglist! (Idk if I'm doing this right)

@fleetingjake

[philosophiums]

hi sam!! 1, 2, 6, 8, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 42, 43, 44, 45, 47, 50, 51, 55, 57, 66 (lmhs), 71, 72, 76, 78, 79 😊 i just love picking another writer's brain hehe

KSJDBVJKDFBV MARIAM IM CRYING HELP 😂 *cracks knuckles* okay let's gooooo 💜 (there's gonna be a read more somewhere)

questions from here!

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Truly depends on the length of the wip! For short stuff that I'm confident will be under 10k, I just go in swinging. For longer stuff, I'm daydreaming constantly, even during the writing process. When I had a desk job, I would spend Work Time thinking and then write stuff out in my notes app, but now that I operate a moving vehicle for 7+ hours a day, I just spend the majority of that time Daydreaming, Thinking, and Planning for LMHS.

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

It's about a 60/40 split between original thoughts (as much as anyone can claim to truly have original creative thoughts that are 100% not inspired by anything else) and ideas that are based on or inspired by the premises of other fics or by fanart (sometimes not even from the same fandom).

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

From LMHS, last line of chapter 3: "Sun shining on their backs, sweet snacks in their stomachs, and laughter in the air, the three of them take off together, venturing once again deeper into Changyin’s busy streets."

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Not written out yet so I can't post a snippet, but in LMHS, water is so important to Megumi's character, way beyond just bending.

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Sometimes! I did outline LMHS, though that was mostly an attempt on my part at keeping track of all the thoughts @hinamie and I were throwing at each other. It's not very detailed at all, just a bullet point list of things like "they travel to [location] - remember that [this character] is with them" or stuff like that. It's a guide for the like... movement™ of the fic, but less so the nitty gritty details, which I kind of enjoy discovering as I go (be it while I'm writing or while Hina and I are talking). But the last long fic I wrote (250k) did not have an outline. I just followed my heart and the vision I had of the end of the fic <3 The back half of that fic did have a canon timeline to follow, though, which made it easier.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

SJKDBJKSDB I do about 95% of my writing in a big leather wingback armchair in my living room, usually with one leg hooked over an arm of the chair. The other 5% is bleary-eyed, 2am in bed, notes app, half-finished sentences with just the worst spelling you've ever seen.

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

It used to be between 1am and 3am, back when I was unemployed/working a job I didn't have to properly sleep for. Now, the only time I seem to be able to write is from about 8:30pm to 11pm. It takes me forever to unwind after coming home, so I can really only get myself to focus way at the end of the day. 100% if I went back to a desk job or stumbled into a pile of money that could let me stop working, I'd be right back to typing away well after midnight.

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Sit down > open word doc > reread last paragraph > dissociate > walk away > come back three hours later and write SKJDVBDKJBVJKDFBV

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

I don't necessarily enjoy it, mostly because when I'm researching, I tend to get pulled down a rabbit hole of stuff I don't need to know and will never use. However, I do find that I end up doing impromptu "shotgun" research a lot while writing. Literally while writing the first chapter of LMHS, I had to pull up some research on trees just to make absolutely sure I was describing something correctly. It's 100% an inconsequential detail, but at least I know I wasn't pulling it completely out of thin air KSJVDBDKJVB I don't think I could honestly say which fic required the most research. If we include the amount of time I spent on the respective fandom wikis for character/canon details, then Swallow the Stars for sure. But if it's only for Other Stuff™, then I think they're all about equal.

19. Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I love making OCs in general, but not really for fanfic. I'll make an OC for an inconsequential side character no problem (did this a couple times in Swallow the Stars), but, for the most part, I prefer to stick to canon characters. I've never written a fic from the POV of an OC, and I doubt I ever will. I would much rather explore the dynamics between canon characters than insert a new main character into a story that already has one.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Depends! I've done all three before SKJDVBDKJVBF Sometimes, a title comes to me right away, and I can sort of circle around it while I'm writing (this is more common for me with short fics). Sometimes, I get a few thousands words in, and have played with the themes long enough to have it just sort of come to me. Other times, I'm fully edited and just staring at the words begging a title to appear so I can post KSJDVBDKJFVBDFV LMHS had a title before I even started writing, because I wanted to have a title when I posted the fic announcement. As far as how I come up with them, I've pulled directly from words in the fic, I've gone on random quote generators and pulled from those, I've sat down and literally just strung words together based on a theme or a single specific word I wanted (LMHS, for instance, came from a desire to use the word "haunt"). It just kinda depends and is different for every fic!

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

The beginning is easiest because it's fun character introductions and scene setting, not a lot of plot yet. The middle is by far the hardest because that's where the plot is beefiest and where a lot of the transition spaces are, and at the same time you're starting to gather up the threads you want to tie off at the end.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

I choose based on whose thoughts I'm imagining most when I'm first thinking of the story! When I'm new to writing for a fandom, I will sometimes have to start a fic 2 or 3 times to find the voice that comes easiest to me, though. I have a tendency to lean towards the quieter characters, but that's not always true! For example, Andrew Minyard's POV is easier for me to write in, but I have more fun writing Neil, so I tend to gravitate towards Neil for AFTG fics.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

World building my beloved..... I love coming up with Reasons for things that I want to happen, tying things into the setting and the history and making sure it works for the characters as well. The moment when everything connects is so magical.

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Writing KJDBKJDFBVJKDBFV Words are just.... so hard 😭

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

Detailing! Descriptions! I am constantly fighting with myself over how much detail I actually need to include in my descriptions, because on some level, I want to describe it as much as I possibly can so that it can be envisioned easier, but on the flip side I know for a fact that no matter how much I describe something, no one will ever see it exactly the same way I do. And so then I pull back too far, I think, and keep my descriptions bare minimum, which I think is just as unhelpful. I need to work on finding a balance. Maybe metaphor can be my friend here.....

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I usually go through for edits a minimum of two times and a maximum of 4 times. I always do an initial read-through for details that I missed or clarifications I need to make or continuity problems, stuff like that. Then I'll go through for grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc. If I end up rewriting a lot during that second edit, I'll go back through yet again just to double-check everything. And, more often than not, I do a last read-through right before I post. Though, inevitably, there's always something that I don't catch until it's already posted KJSBDVKDJBV

42. What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I'm really quite keen on Like the Moon Haunts the Sun !! It's longer than what I usually go for with titles, but it's sooooo thematically fitting and just really really pretty imo. But, This Is What Hollows holds a special place in my heart because it's a bit different and yet perfectly fitting for that fic. Plus, it was titled loooong before I came up with a way to include it in the actual writing of the fic, and I felt like an absolute genius when I managed to do that organically.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I have a world mostly built for a fantasy setting with dragon gods and stuff that I've planned out all the lore for and yet cannot for the life of me actually think up a plot that would be interesting to write SKJVBDJKVB I have characters, I have setting, I have themes, but a plot? Evading me. And it's been haunting me for like 7 years.

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

Urban fantasy 100%!! I love writing magic systems without having to do historical research SKJBDVKJDVB Also just the idea of magic in a place that we live in is so special to me like... there is magic everywhere in the world, but sometimes that magic really does come from a spell book like Yes Please.

45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

Found family trope my beloved,,,,,,,, don't look too closely at it; it doesn't say anything about me as a person I Promise.

47. Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

Not a trope, but when I was younger and Working Through Some Shit, I included a, I guess, circumstance™ that I will not actually say (bc it's like. triggering) in just about every fic I wrote, but I'm past the point now (thank god) of needing to vent through it, so I truly don't think I'll ever include it in anything ever again.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

HHHHHHH I have no idea. I think I am incapable of looking at my writing objectively enough to describe it.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Very much so! I love reading prose that is rich in metaphor and simile, but for the life of me I can't write like that. I don't have the gift of constantly being able to turn a phrase so beautifully, but god is it gorgeous to read.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I don't even want to think about the words and phrases I overuse because I'm sure there's plenty JSKDBVKJDFVB I do have a recurring theme of like... healing, though. This deep inner struggle of the characters to get to a better place is just... so important to me. I want them to heal, but more than that I want them to want to heal.

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

I'm certainly conscious of it, but less so on the first draft. I think foreshadowing has a way of sneaking into my writing naturally (especially because I write chronologically), and then I can really hammer it in during the edit. Symbolism is purely being brought in during the first edit unless it's something so important that it was underlined a lot during the drafting/planning stage.

66. What’s a fun fact about LMHS?

It started as me just randomly thinking about ATLA and sending a question to Hina about what she thought the main trio's bending elements would be, and it just tumbled out of control from there SKJDVBDJKVFB

71. Do you spend more time reading or writing?

Writing, which is... saying something because I really don't spend a lot of time writing on a day-to-day basis. But I haven't read a published book in.... 4 years? And I don't read fanfic very often either, despite my bookmarks tab being overflowing with fics that I would like to read at some point. I just feel like I never have the time or energy to sit down and read.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

I have gotten a similar comment from multiple people that is about my characterization of canon characters within AUs and how it still feels like the canon characters but with realistic changes based on a different setting, and in fic writing I can't think of higher praise. Like... that's exactly what I want. I don't want the characters to be exactly the same as canon because their circumstances have changed, but I still want them to be recognizable. That's always what I'm striving for, and it makes me happy that people notice and think it's executed well enough to comment on.

76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Poorly KDEJVBKJDEFVBJKDFVBJF Really though, I struggle managing pressure when I'm writing. And it's always internal, because external pressure on fics just makes me petty since it's Free Labor, and people who complain about a slow upload schedule or whatever just make me Mad. But internal pressure is HHHHHHHHHH I am Going Through It with LMHS. I want it to live up to expectations, but I also want to finish it quickly, but I also want it to be lush and complete, and there's always this voice in my head telling me I'm not writing fast enough or good enough. Mostly I work past it by reminding myself that the time will pass anyway and that it's a miracle that I can even write ~1k words a day with how tired my job makes me. And on the days when that doesn't work, I have loud music KSJDVBDKJVBJDKFV

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

Up to the point where I start posting (for my last long fic, I was >100k in before I uploaded the first chapter), the motivation comes from a simple desire to write that particular story. For me, it can't come from anywhere else. If I don't want to write on a fic anymore and I haven't uploaded yet, I'll just stop. However, once I start posting, comments and general interaction with the fic gives me a huge bump in motivation. Engagement and talking about the story and the characters and the plot just makes me so excited to keep going so that I can drop the next plot twist or cliffhanger and read everyone's reactions. This time, for LMHS, I am very very lucky to have my own personal cheer squad of one (Hina) motivating me daily through memes and character discussion and new pieces of art and other various things <3

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

The best actual constructive writing advice that I can give is: Do Not Edit Something Until You're Done. And yes, I mean the entire story - do not go back and reread/rewrite until you're done with it. Nothing will make your forward momentum disappear faster than going back to edit. If you're too hung up on details and perfection right away, you're never going to get done. You have to just write and accept that things will need to be reworked. Make notes for yourself on things to fix later or whatever, just do not scroll back up and start editing before you're done with something. It will only make you disappointed that where you pick up again isn't going to look as nice as what you just edited.

[mayajadewrites]

For Me (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

CHAPTER SEVEN: COLLEAGUES

Over the next 2 weeks you spend a lot of time with Levi. You learn his routine, what he likes to order at restaurants, all that good stuff. However, neither of you have spent the night at each others house. For you, you knew that it would be hard to control yourself if you were in bed with Levi. 

Levi enjoys the finer things in life, but not in a stuck-up way. He loves a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, but also doesn't mind staying in and having a movie night. He works a lot, which makes it so you only see him really at night and on the weekends. It gives you something to look forward to, but it doesn't feel like enough time. 

It's Wednesday - half way through the week. Since you and Levi have decided what you're relationship is (more like Levi decided) you haven't gone to the coffee shop much. He's been bringing you coffee before he heads to work, which is a sweet treat for you. 

This day is no different.

You hear a knock at your door and open it to see your stoic boyfriend holding your iced coffee and a bouquet of flowers. "You needed fresh ones." He walked into your apartment and took out the old flowers (from last week), cleaned the vase and set up the new bouquet. 

You sip your coffee as you watch Levi work the flowers. He meticulously places them and makes sure every flower is tended to. Your eyes wander down his body - he's wearing a navy suit that is perfectly tailored to him with chestnut shoes. "You look very handsome today."

"I have a big meeting today with some potential clients." Levi double checked the flowers. "These are good to go. I'm gonna head out now." 

"Have a great day." You smile as Levi takes a step towards you, his eyes swallowing your figure. You're wearing a tank top with no bra, and your comfy short shorts. Your ass basically falls out of them.

"Don't go outside like that." Levi presses his lips to yours, bringing his hand to your face. "This is for me only." 

"Okay dad." You roll your eyes, walking him to the door.

"Daddy is the only acceptable form of 'dad' that I'll answer to." His tone was flat, so you couldn't tell if he was kidding or not.

He had to be, right?

"I'll call you when I'm on my lunch." Levi kissed your cheek swiftly before turning around and heading towards the stairs. You lean against your doorframe, still feeling Levi's kiss on your lips. This is really your life. Levi Ackerman is your boyfriend.

You're about halfway through your new novel at this point. You got in touch with your editor to let her know that you'll be sending a draft her way soon. This excites you - it's been months since you had any motivation to write. 

As you finish typing a sentence, you feel your phone vibrate in your lap. 

"Hello?" You tap the 'speaker' button.

"Why do you always answer the phone like you don't have caller id?" Levi said.

"Because that's just what people do. Sorry we're not all special specimens like you."

"Anyway. Our clients loved us, and the office wants to go out to happy hour to celebrate after work."

"Okay! Have fun. Are you coming over after?"

"You're coming with me. And then we're going home together."

"I missed the part where you asked me if I wanted to go."

"I didn't ask. Be ready by 6." Levi hung up the phone. Sometimes he can be so sweet, but other times it's like he forgets that he has other people to communicate with and we all don't think the way he does.

You sigh, shutting your laptop and pushing it towards the back of your desk. You turn your head to your closet, knowing you'll be tearing it up to find an outfit. You look at the time on your phone: 1:30PM. It's time to start getting ready.

You take an everything shower, making sure there's no hair anywhere on your legs. You moisturize your skin, wash your hair, everything.

This is the first time you're meeting anyone in Levi's circle. Even though he says they're his "colleagues" you know that that's his way of saying friends. You blow dry and curl your hair, watching the curls bounce before you brush them out into loose waves. Your makeup is simply but glowy - your go to.

Your outfit consists of a beige square neck body suit with straight leg jeans that are slightly distressed. You pick out a pair of beige heels to match - they're not too high to where you're uncomfortable but you'll be at Levi's height now. 

By the time you're done with everything, it's 5:45. You decide to pick up a bit around your apartment and spray your favorite vanilla perfume. 

Right at 6, there's a knock at your door. 

"What did I do to deserve seeing Levi Ackerman at my front door twice in one day?" You tilt your head to the side, smiling. 

Levi's eyes wandered to your chest, which was accentuated by the neckline of the bodysuit. You have a bigger chest, which you typically hide. You watched Levi's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "You look beautiful, per usual. Do you have everything? A bag for stuff you'll need for tonight?"

"Wait, why would I need that?"

"Because you're staying at my house tonight."

"Staying as in..."

"Sleeping over. You're sleeping at my house tonight. With me."

"I didn't know." You bit down on your bottom lip. "Ok, give me a few minutes. Sit down." You turn to grab a tote bag out of your closet and grab your essentials. Toothbrush, makeup remover, a change of clothes, a pair of UGG slippers, pajamas, and body wash. "Done." You hold up the bag with a smile plastered on your face. 

Levi nods as he takes the bag from you, turning off the light in your foyer. You lock the door behind you and triple check that its actually locked before you both descend down the stairs.

"So where's happy hour?" You ask as you watch Levi's hands on the steering wheel. 

"It's at this bar downtown that everyone likes to go to. I don't go out much, so I've only been there once when I got my promotion." 

You nod as he explains, gazing out the window. You feel Levi's large hand land on your thigh, squeezing it gently. "They're going to love you." 

"I hope so." It's like he knew exactly what you were feeling. That you were anxious to meet the people that are around him every day because they could think you're not good enough for him. They could have seen ex girlfriends that were prettier than you. Levi rubbed his thumb across your thigh for reassurance.

Levi helped you out of his car before leading you into the building, which was half bar, half restaurant. 

"Levi! You made it!" You look up and see a group of people with drinks in your hand. The one that called for Levi was one of the guys that was with Jean when he asked for your number.

"I'm still Mr. Ackerman outside of work." Levi squeezes your hand gently. "This is my girlfriend." Levi introduces you.

"So you're the reason he smiles!" A brunette woman with glasses walks up to you. "My name is Hange. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Likewise!" You shake her hand, smiling. 

"This is Erwin, my best friend and President of Ackerman Inc." Levi points to a tall blonde man with piercing blue eyes.

"Nice to meet you. Levi has told me a lot about you." Erwin shakes your hand.

"Not a lot. Don't listen to him." Levi rolls his eyes, introducing you to the rest of his colleagues. "This is my cousin, Mikasa. The one I was telling you about that loves your books. And this is her boyfriend, Eren." 

Eren was the one that Levi said to call him Mr. Ackerman. You smile as you meet the couple, noticing the similarities between Levi and Mikasa. They're both very poised and serious at all times.

Levi leaves you for a few moments to mingle. Mikasa grabs your arm gently to get your attention.

"I know my cousin can be an ass." She smiles. "But he really cares about you. He's talked about you and has even cracked a smile while doing so." 

"Thanks, Mikasa. I appreciate that. He's not the easiest to deal with." You laugh, glancing over at Levi. He's standing with Erwin and Hange as he waits for drinks at the bar. He doesn't bother asking you what you want to order, since it's always a white wine. 

Your nerves calm down a bit when Levi's fingers graze yours to hand you your glass. "You okay? Are you having a good time?"

"Yes, Levi." You take a sip of your wine. "Your friends are nice. I like them."

"Colleagues."

[kikokeya]

Horror Awaits Where Love Springs

((DAY 6 OF CHRISTMAS))

Lee Bodecker X Reader

Word Count: 1,399

Warnings: Thriller

Summary: You and Lee rent a cabin in the woods thinking it would be a good time for both of you to spend Christmas together. However, little do both of you know there's a dead body waiting in the living room.

A/N: haha hahaha... um well this is a follow-up to my apology fic so again, I'm really sorry for being gone for so long. I don't know what else to say other than the fact that my writing is rusty so enjoy whatever this is :))

"I can't wait to see how the cabin looks though," You giggled directing your speech to Lee while getting in the car as he gets in the car and starts it.

He lets the car warm up before driving away, "Well Doll, I couldn't not book a cabin for us this Christmas especially since your birthday's coming up too right?"

You nodded before placing your hand on Lee's thigh as he drove the car. You looked out of the window while admiring the view of the greenery and landscape as you listened to the radio playing in the car.

It was relaxing as Lee wanted it to be. He made the mood and atmosphere feel as though it was too good to be true - like everything was a dream.

"Lee, you checked the cabin to ensure it's safe right? Like no wild animals can get in, there's a backup generator, a working fireplace?"

"Of course, doll... I'd always do anything for you," Lee stroked her hand as he lied to her through his teeth.

Of course, Lee never actually checked out the cabin seeing as he recently got promoted to the position of Sheriff and was doing dirty corrupted political work all while trying to get elected. But he lied to assure you so that you wouldn't panic over something that seemed so small in his eyes.

Lee never really considered surveying the cabin to make sure that things would be safe for both of you, seeing as you would only be staying there for a couple of days or a week at most. Surely nothing could go wrong, right?

You continued to look out of the window while feeling Lee's hand caressing yours as he brought your hand to rest on the gear shift while he held it there. You fell asleep while feeling the breeze blow past you from the outside of the car as the window was winded down to get some fresh air to circulate in the car.

An hour had passed before you woke up and found yourself on a rather comfy mattress. You looked around to see that you were in the cabin that Lee spoke about. You got up from bed before walking downstairs to see Lee and a dead body on the floor in a pile of blood as you screamed your lungs out in horror.

"WHAT THE HELL, LEE!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" You looked back and forth between the dead body and Lee as you were deep-rooted to the floor not being able to even run away from what you assumed to be your boyfriend, a sheriff who just so happens to be a murderer.

"Y/N I promise it's not what it looks like. You were asleep in the car and I brought you into the cabin but I saw this and so I placed you in the room above and called backup okay? I didn't think you'd wake up so soon... I've been waiting for backup to arrive but they-" Lee gets cut off by a knocking on the door as he asks her to check who it is before opening it.

You check the peephole of the door before seeing police officers outside armed and holding flashlights as well as paramedics as it got dark outside already seeing as you and Lee set off for the cabin rather late.

You opened the door and see the officers and paramedics enter as Lee handled the communication with them and told them not to involve "his girl" since you didn't know anything about it.

An officer noticed you standing still, clearly in shock about the events of what just happened as well as what you saw. You couldn't see everything around you clearly as it was in a blur and the dispatch on the walkie-talkie comms was rather drowned out or sounding much like an echo.

You got startled having to come back to reality as the officer approached you. You realised the officer was none other than a lady.

You thought to yourself about how women don't usually get the chance to prove themselves worthy of being anything other than a housewife. You knew that Lee probably had something to do with her being an officer seeing as Lee was dating you and you convinced him to be more thoughtful of women in general.

"Ma'am, is everything okay with you? Are you alright? Are you hurt?" You heard the soft gentle voice of the woman police officer asking you cautiously as she looked at you with worry written all over her face.

You nodded in response as you tried to give her an assuring look on your face but it was overcome by the look of disgust on your face from the pool of blood you saw the body lying in.

The police officer brought you upstairs after taking a shock blanket with her as she got you to sit on the bed before wrapping the blanket around you cautiously.

"Everything's going to be okay. I'm confident that Lee didn't kill the poor guy okay?" The police officer rubbed your back while trying to comfort you as she talked softly in a soothing voice.

After what seemed like hours passing by, you heard the voice of your boyfriend getting closer to you before seeing him enter the room you were in as he kneels in front of you and rubs your knee.

"Dalton and the boys took care of the body, doll. You don't have to worry now okay?" Lee talks softly to you before removing the shock blanket around you and passing it to the woman officer as she takes it and leaves the room leaving you in the care of Lee now, "We need to leave, doll. They need to do more investigations on the place okay? I'm so sorry this happened, I should have checked the cabin beforehand because they ruled out his body to have been here for hours-"

Lee sighs seeing the state that you were still in, clearly zoning out and not paying attention to a word he said as he picks you up before bringing you to the car. He placed you in it and helped to buckle your seatbelt before getting in the car and driving away back to the home that you both share.

You thought about how this was supposed to be a fun and lighthearted holiday for the two of you to share. It ended out being a turn for the complete worse as it left you with PTSD for now not wanting to ever go on a holiday anywhere ever again as all you wanted to do was to stay home.

It all worked in Lee's favour now seeing as Lee never wanted to go on this trip in the first place but did it to see you happy. Lee had been trying to tell you that Christmas spent at home is the same as Christmas spent elsewhere because it didn't matter much about the location but the people that Christmas was spent with.

He did however have an underlying reason on top of the bullshit lies he told to cover up his intentions which was to knock you up so that you would marry him if you did get pregnant. Being his wife would allow you to be his alibi since he was a corrupted sheriff after all and doing illegal crimes while trying to get elected.

At least now Lee wouldn't have to worry much about bringing you out anywhere since after the PTSD you developed, you would be wanting to stay at home for even your birthday which occurred after Christmas.

There was still this undying question floating around in your head as you looked at him smiling slightly while driving you back home - 'Did he kill the guy?'

You told yourself that you sounded ridiculous since Lee told you that the body has been there since hours ago and Lee also came clean with the truth of how he didn't survey the area. But what if that's not what the detective said at all?

You knew sometimes that Lee could be a total bag of bullshit with his lies that you caught but pretended that nothing happened. What if he really did kill the guy and spun a whole web of lies to prove his innocence just because you were there?

[princesscolumbia]

Pride Month 2024 - Day 9

I have had 10 hours of sleep in the last 48...welcome to parenthood.

And now, get ready for a good egg cracking AU!

Return to Recipient

Summary:

Ranma hasn't been feeling right for as long as he can remember, and he just figured that's normal. But after Jusenkyo, and especially after Jusendo, the feeling of "wrongness" has been getting more and more noticeable... ...because he doesn't feel it in his cursed form. He continues to just cope, keeping his struggle to himself, until he finds a letter tucked into his old travel pack addressed to him, written by him, from a 48 hour period that he doesn't remember and nobody will talk to him about.

Notes:

During the writing of 🔞 And at This Point I'm Afraid to Ask 🔞, [NOTE - Yeah, these two are being posted in "most recently updated" order, so the fic that came first is being posted tomorrow for this little calendar event -Helen] I realized I was speed-running Ranma's egg-to-hatched trans journey and made an author's note of that. In the comments for that work, I got a note bemoaning the fact that I didn't spend more time on Ranma's realization, coming out, and social transition as a woman while understanding my reasoning. I replied stating that I needed a good hook, something that hadn't been hammered to death by other authors, and at the time I didn't have anything. I really got it in my head that I should do something, so I posted to Tumblr and started putting it out to the universe that I was Poly Transwoman Author Seeking Story Inspiration and Motivation, in Open Relationship with current WIPs. I was scrolling through the "Ranma 1/2" tag this morning trying to find something I hadn't read when I bumped into Dear Diary by JaquiK. I've read it, of course, and it's short and, for what it sets out to do, good. "Feels like it needs more," says I, "Wish the author would continue it, make something more of it than they did." The little author that lives in my head rent free and looks remarkably like Ranma-chan ran up behind me and socked me in the back of my head, "Dummy! There's your plot hook!" Then she backed a dump truck up and dropped about 3/4 of a story's worth of ideas on me. [*le-gasp* It me! -Christy] With the 2023 holidays in full swing (it's Cyber Monday as I type this) I'm not sure how quickly I'll get to outlining this or getting chapters 2-5 out (my personal metric for whether the author is serious about a work is if they have 5 chapters out. This has been a solid rule of thumb for long-form fiction and hasn't failed me regardless of fandom), but I wanted to get at least chapter 1 out as quickly as possible. Tags will be added as I add more chapters, mostly because my writing process means I'm not sure what tags will apply until I'm writing something that necessitates them. 😋 I hope you enjoy it.

Obviously, at 6 chapters and 35.5k words, I've met my own personal metric for being serious about a work. 😉

This one is a particular pride and joy, and I hope that people reading it are getting the 'gag' of the title and the chapter titles. While not all the chapter titles are home runs, I have put a lot of thought into making them meaningful to the story as a whole. For example, the title itself, "Return to Recipient" is a play on the postal service standard, "Return to Sender" (and, yes, made a cultural signpost by that one song by Elvis). In the case of the "sender" of the letter that kicks the whole fic off in chapter 1 no longer exists. And, yes, I could have gone with the now-standard practice of making "that girl" an alt in the system known as Ranma, but that wasn't what this fic was about. This is about Ranma's transition as prompted by her own self demanding she be true unto. And that version was a result of a dissociative episode caused by injury and never properly treated, requiring Ranma's rapid healing (likely qi assisted) to repair the damage...and part of that damage was the entire mental state triggered by the injury. (And, again, the bigger questions of whether that was a separate entity that deserved a life to live are outside the scope of this fic...or is it? 😉) So if Ranma, theoretically, wanted to return the letter to the sender, she'd be returning it to...herself, the recipient. Therefor, "Return to Recipient."

In the spirit of things being spoilertastic without revealing too much in these posts, I present to you the chapter title list:

Note to Self

Doctor's Note

Passing Notes

A Noteable Occation

Akane One Note

A Note on Shampoo's File

Notes, Beats, and Measures

Back of the Napkin Notes

Notes from Abroad

Navigational Notation

Autographs on Notebook Paper

Veterinary Notes

Bank Notes

A Noteworthy Event

Self-Analysis Notes

Ending on a High Note

Epilogue - [REDACTED]

The blue are already published, enjoyable speculation on the rest is welcome in the notes. 😁

[snake-and-mouse]

I'll be honest tho... I'm not upset to have one less reason to open youtube.

I am upset one more bit of joy is ending. I can't afford the subscription, not that I'd have gotten it if I could. Leaving because they don't "fit youtube", which is more hubris than truth, and with three shows made with fan submissions that I don't find appropriate to paywall and charge 6$ for...I'm not sayings it's good Watcher has decided they don't need or want their poor and international fans. But ignoring the debate of it all for a sec-

The very first time youtube tried to make me watch a forty five second unskippable ad, actually four ads in one, just the first ad roll of many for a twenty minute let's play, plus more ads slipped in after the video ends hoping I don't notice and exit fast enough, watched on a tv I can't put adblock on, forty five seconds and unskippable, as someone who remembered being pissed over a decade ago at the very first time I saw an ad on youtube, the only ad I saw the whole fucking day, which became multiple unskippable ads Every Fucking Video-

I knew my days of using youtube for entertainment were officially over. It was the last forty some straws on a camel that should have probably been dead years ago, but had stubbornly held on for convenience and habit until that moment.

Again, putting to side the various debates. The current business model is one that is very common, that I don't pretend to be above or immune to (or I wouldn't pay for spotify so I could stay sane in the face my day to day commutes) which is "Boil the frog; Over time the free version of your service becomes unpleasant enough to use that everyone eventually caves and pays to escape the constant torment of ads and locked features, because making a site as shitty as possibly is more effective than offering additional services."

And it works. Except for those of us who don't have the money. And for us? Youtube is just not a viable way to casually watch media anymore unless you have very thick skin and endless patience, the days of easy idle hours browsing long gone. Except people with adblock, youtube is dead to us, or at least dying. Which, I'm sure youtubers are aware of. The frog has noticed and is way too boiled. But you're not getting soup from us.

Instead youtube is now merely a source of annoyance and bitterness I can only bear exposing myself to for the very very few creators I'm too loyal to abandon being a fan of. I loosely keep up with a handful of youtubers, and only watch new videos as they are posted with maybe three.

And now that handful is a little smaller. Sad but convenient. I'm sure, despite the fact youtube used to be my main source of entertainment that I'd spend hours a day watching, one way or another the next few years that will dwindle to zero.

Back to Watcher, part of the shame here is, I'm honestly desperate for an option to watch and support youtubers I enjoy away from that site, as are many people, but a sustainable and accesible option that is realistic about the fanbase's needs and wants. Not that. That wasn’t a way to enjoy Watcher's content away from the dumpster fire. It was saying "If you can't pay or don't get our Vision™ then stay in the dumpster fire, which we're leaving, because we're Better, and those with taste and money will follow us, and those are the only fans we need."

Okay. Fine. Was nice knowing you, I'll miss Are You Scared, but I'm sure I can spend that time on something else now that won't show me six Arbys ads in a row.

[hufflepuffronstan]

#6 - Dance, for @hinnymicrofic

Harry heard the doorbell ring and walked up to the front door to be met by his dad, Sirius and Remus.

Of course he should have known that asking help from his dad meant asking all the three of them.

"Heard Prongs Jr. had an emergency."

Sirius sauntered into the flat while Remus shrugged at his husband's antics. Harry looked at James, unimpressed and saw him grinning widely.

He closed the door and walked into the living area to be boxed in between James and Sirius.

They stood on either side of him, their hands on his shoulders. Sirius had a weird don't-mess-with me attitude while James looked like an overexcited crup.

Harry glanced heavenwards. It was going to be a long day.

"So, the first step to master dancing is to understand the art form. Dancing is about art, about finesse, about emotions. You should submerge yourself in it, let your body be free, rise and fly. Then and only then, can you become a great dancer."

"Well, you know, it's for our first couple's dance at our wedding. Just learn a few steps, make sure that I don't step on Ginny's feet or embarrass myself. Just the basics, nothing major." He felt the need to clarify after Sirius' long, dramatic speech.

"Oh, that's even more important. Your first dance as husband and wife. Goodness. It has to be perfect. James, I'm glad that you called me."

James nodded seriously, "Yeah, I had to. It's so sweet of him, isn't it? My boy all grown up and preparing for his Wedding Dance. Oh God, he's getting married. Oh, how the time flies, just feels like yester-"

"Okay, dad." Harry patted his dad on the back, comforting him as James' started getting emotional.

"Now, Harry, listen to me carefully. The way you dance with your partner will mean everything. There are a number of things I want you to know. The way you hold their hand, the way you look into their eyes, the way you lead them or be led, where you are putting your free hand -every action has deep meaning attached to it...."

Harry wiped his eyebrows hearing Sirius go on and on while Remus sat on the couch, watching in amusement. He signaled to him to rescue him and he just shrugged.

"I will give you a small demonstration with Remus. I want you to watch us carefuIy."

While Sirius and James started browsing through the phone for the "perfect practice song", Harry walked to Remus, "This was not how I imagined spending the day when Ginny went with Hermione and Luna to the spa."

"It's your fault that you decided to call James and not Lily." Remus smirked.

Harry glared at him, "Mom asked you to tell me that, didn't she? I knew I should have asked her but I thought dad would be more knowledgeable about leading."

Remus shrugged, "You'll have something to laugh about after a few years and besides it's fun to see them all hyped up."

"What about me?"

"Ahh, you will survive." Remus chuckled.

After four hours of painstaking practice, Harry managed to achieve "pass marks" according to Sirius.

He might have wanted to scream and cry in agony many times during the stretch but maybe a tiny part of him could begrudgingly admit that he enjoyed spending time with his dad and godfathers.

Harry-James and Sirius-Remus were dancing in celebration, spinning and laughing that nobody heard the sound of footsteps.

Lily and Ginny stood at the entry to the living room, watching in amusement as the boys danced without a care in the world.

Lily and Ginny clapped enthusiastically as the dance finished with James twirling and falling into Harry's arms with fervor.

Harry and James, hearing the claps turned around to see Lily and Ginny leaning on each other, grinning madly.

"Bravo! What a performance, boys. Truly a feast to watch." Lily said appreciatively.

"Thank you! Could be improved, but I tried my best." Sirius bowed deeply.

Lily and Ginny chuckled while James and Harry shuffled on their feet, their faces flushed.

Harry stared as Ginny walked to him and gave him a short peck on his lips.

"Not bad, Potter!"

Harry practically preened, hearing his fiancée, "Oh this." He tried to sound nonchalant. "This was nothing. Wait until you dance in my arms."

She whispered, "Oh is that so?."

Harry gulped.

"I can't wait!" Ginny winked at him and walked away.

[madsworld15]

New One-Shot: every day in every way (Brian/Justin)

I have written so much in the last few days, I'm proud of myself. This is my 5th prompt submission for the QaF Prompt Challenge 2024. This one is for the prompt: It seemed like a good idea at the time. (Prompt #6) [5/21 for me personally]

Brian groaned. He was already regretting the choice he and Justin had made. Telling Mel and Linds that they’d take an 8-year-old Gus for a whole week seemed helpful at the time. Now, in the harsh light of day – because Gus wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn – Brian was regretting his decision. Justin on the other hand seemed to be enjoying it. He was currently in the kitchen whipping up some blueberry pancakes for Gus as the child giggled at something Justin must’ve said. 

Brian stumbled into the kitchen and glared daggers at the back of Justin’s head as he listened in on their conversation.

“What do you want to do today, little adventurer?” Justin asked, flipping one of the pancakes. 

“Can we go to the Bronx Zoo?” Gus’ face lit up, “I wanna see the snakes!”

“We can if your Daddy can stop glaring at me and pour himself the coffee he needs.” Justin replied without turning to face Brian. Despite not seeing it, Brian knew his partner added a wink at Gus for good measure.

Brian poured himself a cup of coffee and stepped forward to be right up against Justin’s back. He placed his cup down on the counter, slipped his hands around Justin’s torso, and kissed the blond on his neck. He then looked at Gus with a smile and a wink of his own.

“Do you think we can leave Justin at the Zoo with his relatives?” Brian asked his son with a smirk as Justin discreetly smacked him in the side.

Gus looked between his Dad and Justin, confused. He shook his head, clearly trying to make sense of everything.

“Jus, does your mommy and daddy live at the zoo?” Gus asked.

“No. Your Daddy is making a rude joke. He’s saying that I’m related to one of the animals that lives there. Not sure which one.” Justin shrugged.

He placed a plate of pancakes in front of Brian. Brian looked down at the plate, then back to Gus.

“You want more pancakes, kiddo?” Brian lifted up his plate in offering.

Gus shook his head, “Those are yours, Daddy. Jus made them specially for you.”

Brian frowned down at the plate in front of him. He rarely ate carbs like this, but anytime Gus came for a visit, Justin insisted they eat similar to Gus for comfort reasons. Justin figured the boy was still young enough that spending time with his dad, away from his moms was nerve wracking enough.

An hour later, Brian was finishing up his skincare routine when Justin rounded the corner, into the bathroom with a pained look on his face. Brian paused what he was doing, turned to face Justin, and raised a questioning brow.

“Don’t be mad.” Justin quickly blurted out. “Gus wanted to hang up his drawing on the wall in the living room and so I decided to let him, supervised by me of course.” Justin’s voice was quick and nervous sounding.

Brian put down his cream and stepped into Justin’s space, wrapping his arms around him in a reassuring embrace.

“Okay. What happened?” Brian whispered, his chin leaning on the top of Justin’s head.

“He fell off the chair by accident. He landed on his elbow weird and now he’s crying. We might have to go to the ER.” Justin pulled back and made eye contact with Brian. He was biting his lip nervously. 

Brian wanted to yell and scream in frustration, but instead, he took a deep breath and squeezed Justin’s biceps in comfort.

“Accidents happen Justin.” Brian finally replied, he wanted to say more, but worried that if he tried the wrong words would come out.

With that, he moved past Justin toward the living room. Gus was sitting on the couch, an ice pack held against his elbow, and tears streaking down his face. Brian crossed to his son and crouched down in front of him. The tears in Gus’ eyes broke Brian’s heart. He was still learning how to be a good father, but no matter what he never wanted Gus to be upset.

“Looks like you got yourself into quite the pickle, Sonny Boy.” Brian placed his hand gently on Gus’ face. 

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Gus started crying in earnest once more.

“We thought it was a good idea at the time.” Justin looked just as aggrieved as Gus did. Brian smiled and shook his head at his two boys.

“I’m sure it would’ve looked great on the wall. Too bad you fell.” Brian shrugged, he was using his gentle tone to distract Gus as he assessed the injury for himself.

“Can we still put it up?” Gus looked at Brian with his biggest puppy dog eyes, and the older man knew he wasn’t immune to what his son was asking. 

“Of course. As soon as we get back from the doctor. It looks like you might’ve broken a bone in your arm.” Brian gave a tight smile and then added, “I’ll even let you eat a popsicle on the way to the hospital.”

“Really?!” Gus’ eyes lit up with excitement.

“Really.” Brian nodded, “Go grab one while Jus and I talk.”

Gus gingerly walked off to grab his favorite popsicle flavor from the stash in the freezer. Justin looked at Brian appraisingly. Brian knew Justin was trying to decipher how he really felt about the situation, but if he was being honest, Brian didn’t even know.

“Seriously, Justin, this isn’t your fault. Accidents happen.” Brian reassured his partner. 

Justin shook his head, still looking supremely guilty. “I could’ve been the one to hang it. I shouldn’t have let Gus do it.”

“Do you really think you would’ve stopped Gus? Stubborn, independent little fucker that he is?” Brian poked his tongue into his cheek before leaning over and placing a kiss on Justin’s lips.

“No, probably not.” Justin agreed with a reciprocal kiss. 

“So, who is calling Lindsay?” Brian gave Justin a pleading look, but based on how Justin laughed, patted his chest, and walked away Brian knew he was on his own.

“Okay, I’ll call her after we see the doctor.” Brian rounded up Justin and Gus to head out the door. “Let’s go.”

Brian smiled as he observed Justin walking up the block with Gus holding his hand. When Gus had been born eight years before, Brian had been terrified at the prospect of being responsible for another human being. Now, he couldn’t imagine not having Gus in his life. Brian was so grateful he’d been given the chance to be an active father in his son’s life. He was determined to be better than his father had been.

“This doesn’t make you Jack.” Justin’s voice whispered in his ear, suddenly next to him once more.

Brian smiled despite the insecurities rolling through his gut. “I know.” 

[dausy]

I have literally uploaded to almost every social media today, which has taken almost the entire day. My dog has been staring at me in disappointment for hanging out in this room for hours.

Happy 30th Anniversary to The Lion King. Which is crazy because I saw the original in theaters when I was 6 years old way back in 1994. I don't even know where the time went. I even took my little sister to the 20th anniversary rerelease in theaters.

I don't think it could be anymore obvious this might be my favorite movie of all time. The weird reactions I get to my merchandise collection or the tattoo I put on my body and probably shouldn't have. I don't think the affect this movie has had on my life could be anymore evident and what it means to me cant be described. I remember watching the movie as a kid and deciding I wanted to be an animator. That didn't happen (though I did take..some animation courses in college, believe it or not). But it did introduce me to a lovely community online which changed the trajectory of my art for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what my parents think of my weird quirk but I don't think my mother can judge my obsession considering her own! but I'm sure it'd be easier to brag on a child if they obsessed over something slightly less childish? Oddly enough my art is more Disney now than it was when I was in the community as a kid..so..I dont know what that means.

But the music still makes me cry, I still look at clouds and think to myself "oh those are lion king clouds" when its particularly cloudy with the sun rays shining through. I can't get over how pretty the character designs are. I still enjoy collecting the merch. I can still smell the toy aisle when I was a kid and that sensation of what it was like to walk through the store with "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" playing overhead on the radio back when the movie was brand new.

oddly enough though, it is the one disney movie that I will not rewatch because I have an internalized fear that I may hate it. My only regret is, is the timing for this anniversary couldn't be worse. I feel guilty spending money when I don't have a paycheck coming in and we are getting ready to move and I should stop collecting so much stuff. But look at all the new merch coming out! I do get messages from people all the time "did you see this new item? this new item?" and I have to keep talking myself out of buying them.

Also, sadly the movie is not being rereleased in my area 8(

[foliosgirl]

Hey. I had loose thoughts in my mind about Folio as a drum teacher, so I don't know already where this will end (probably in smut, hehe). I'm writing this from Folio's and my perspective.

Let's start with Folio. Enjoy. If you want to be tagged let me know :)

Songs (as an inspiration):

Amber Mark - Mixer

Bad Omens - Malice

Drake feat. Jay-Z - Talk up

Majid Jordan, Naomi Sharon - Waiting for you

Phil Collins - Easy Lover

Zayn - Sweat

Lenny Kravitz - Again

Bad Omens - Just pretend (Live 2024)

Coldplay - Clocks

Thornhill - Nurture

Linkin' Park - Numb

Twenty One Pilots - At the risk of feeling dumb

TD_Nasty, Clara La San - Where u wanna be

Architects - Black lungs

I'll extend this. Maybe :)

Teach me

(Nick)

It's been a sucky time since Noah, the singer of my band suffered from a burn out and nobody knew when it would go on again. Our project Concrete Jungle OST, a soundtrack to our comics, had been released a few days ago.

My cell phone beeped:

"The fans are crazy about your OST album. Some of them like it a lot, but a lot of them don't like it at all. So it's the same as always."

I didn't even read through any comments like that anymore. The message was from our tour manager Matt.

I was exhausted too. It had just been too much lately. Nicholas, our bass player, was the only one who had somehow managed to get through this time reasonably well. Jolly, the guitarist, was already composing new songs after we had canceled our dates in Europe and the UK because he couldn't stand still and do nothing. It was hard for me too, but as a drummer I couldn't write my own songs if I didn't even have a melody. I needed something to do other than spend hours a day improving my drumming. I decided to give drum lessons for the first time in my life. In the garage at my parents' house a few streets away was my current kit and the old one I'd had since childhood. I couldn't part with the old kit. Even today, I sometimes only practiced on the small old kit so that I could play in a more reduced way. Besides, it didn't bother anyone in the garage.

In my own apartment, the neighbors were too close and would never have accepted it. I went to the music school where I was taking drum lessons myself at the time to ask Scott, the head of the school, if I could put up a notice. It said:

"Offering drum lessons for beginners and intermediates ages 6 and up. Nick: +1 323 xxxx xxxx".

It felt good to be back.

"Is Scott in?" I asked the obviously new receptionist.

"Just a moment. What's your name?"

"Nick" I replied a little nervously and looked at the posters on the walls.

"Hey Nick!" Scott said and greeted me with a handshake. "How's it going?"

"That's why I'm here. I need to do something. It's been very stressful over the last few years, but Noah's burnt out and we don't know when we'll continue. Certainly not in the next six months. He has 2 therapy sessions every week and the rest of the time he hardly leaves his bed. But I can't go on making music on my own. I have a big request for you. Can I put this up here? I can make good use of the time now and give lessons in my parents' garage. You probably still don't have enough teachers, do you?"

"I'm sorry about that. Sure, put the note up. No problem. Tracy, could you give Nick some tape so he can put the note up?"

The receptionist handed me the tape and grinned.

I tore off two small strips and read through my note again. Relieved, I exhaled and gave her the tape back.

"Oh Nick, I have a really talented boy who would probably be happy if he could take a few lessons with you. I'll let him know straight away, all right?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you soon, Scott. Take care, buddy!"

I closed the door, grabbed my skateboard and headed back home.

After all, I'd been out for about 15 minutes today.

I put on my headphones and played my playlist (Linkin' Park - Numb).

At the intersection, my cell phone vibrated. "How are you? I'm sorry. I can't say it enough. (Noah via iMessage).

I rolled my eyes. He had already apologized 100 times. It was for the best instead of us all breaking up at some point. The mood had been very tense over the last few weeks because we were all just exhausted from touring.

"I'm giving drum lessons soon. Scott already has a student for me. I've just put up a notice. Maybe a few more will join. Otherwise, I hope you get a little better every day. And stop apologizing!"

'Where u wanna be' TD_Nasty, Clara La San

I couldn't listen to it anymore. A favorite song of my ex-girlfriend. Our relationship didn't survive all the touring. I had hardly been home in the last two years, always on the road. I missed her, but it was better that way, even though we had been in a relationship for a very long time. Since high school, 10 years. I skipped the song, no, I even removed it from my playlist for good. Fuck it.

'Architects - Black Lungs'

I put my left leg back on the board and used my right one to continue riding home.

Exhausted, I flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Netflix and chill. Although it was sunny, I had no motivation to do anything else today.

---

(Stella)

I took my little cousin to music school for bass lessons. My aunt worked a lot and didn't have much time for him, but at least she picked him up from his lessons after work. I couldn't do much with him. He was 13, in the middle of puberty and exhausting. But not because he was loud, just the opposite. He couldn't get a sound out. Even with me, he only talked the bare minimum. Well, bass was probably the most suitable instrument for him. With anything else, he would be more the center of attention and I didn't see him there at all. "Have you got a new drum teacher by now? I'd still like to take lessons." I asked Tracy, the receptionist at the music school. "Unfortunately not, but look, someone put that note up last week. He gives lessons in his garage. He was a really nice guy who also studied with us."

'Offering drum lessons for beginners and intermediates ages 6 and up. Nick: +1 323 xxxx xxxx'.

I took a picture of the note with my mobile.

"Okay, Taylor, have fun."

Wordlessly and at a snail's pace, the teenager walked into the rehearsal room.

I rolled my eyes. "God forbid. I'm done with kids." I let Tracy know. "Until the right one comes along."

"The right one won't come along and I'm already too old."

"At 29?" she asked with a grin. "Thank you," I laughed.

I was already 34. Fucking 34. I was always estimated to be younger, which of course made me happy, but I just wasn't having any luck with men.

I didn't even want to fall in love anymore, my experiences were too bad, I preferred just to have sex without commitment.

It also suited my job as a nurse better. The constant shift work was anything but relationship-friendly.

'Hey Nick, do you still have a slot for a beginner? I'd be delighted. -Stella'

I sent the text message.

The next day I received a reply: 'Hi Stella, sure. When do you have time? Can you come tomorrow at 4pm?'

I looked at my duty roster.

'That fits. Can you send me the address?

I didn't hear back until my shift was over at 3pm the next day.

'Sorry, I hope you can still make it. I'm a bit stressed." This time, the message arrived on WhatsApp with the location stamp from Google Maps.

Now I was stressed too. I hurried home to get something to eat, packed up my dad's sticks and set off on my bike. I arrived in front of a beautiful house just in time. I couldn't miss Nick because he was already shmashing drums. I didn't see a doorbell on the garage, so I decided to call him.

"Stella here. I'm outside the garage."

A good-looking, dark-haired man opened the garage from the inside and invited me in.

"Nick. Nice to meet you. You want to start drumming?" I nodded. He was so damn attractive that it made me nervous and left me speechless at first. His hair was freshly cut and styled back. He was muscular and wore black trousers and a dark red T-shirt. I also noticed his countless tattoos. His left arm was completely full and he had one on his neck, that was all I could see.

I didn't want to come across as weird, so I tried to forget how handsome he looked and started talking.

"Yes, I have to. For my father." "For your father?" he asked, puzzled.

"My father passed away recently. I live in his house now and I'm sure he'd be happy to have his drums used." I smiled. "Oh, I'm sorry about that. Can you read music sheets?" "No. Does it matter?"

He shook his head before answering my question in the negative.

"Okay. What do you know about drums so far?" My eyes drifted to the smaller kit. "May I?"

"That's what you're here for."

I sat down and adjusted the chair. I played everything one by one and told him the names of the drums and cymbals.

-"That's right. Can you play anything yet?" I grinned and played the simplest things I could. I was amazed myself that I hadn't forgotten how to do them.

"Good, what do you want to achieve?"

What did I want to achieve? "I want to get better." "We can do better," he smiled and sat down at the other kit

---

(Nick)

In the meantime, I had just accepted my 5th student. Another beginner, or rather my first female student. I decided not to take on any more new students. It was incredibly stressful and the mother of the boy Scott had referred to me was incredibly annoying and always pushed him so hard that I had to control myself not to freak out.

Stella, my new student, didn't seem to be a teenager anymore. At least that's not how her message read. I liked the Italian name. It reminded me directly of my partly Italian-born family.

I listened to my band's song 'Malice'.

'No matter how long it takes. I'm going to practice 'Malice' again and destroy everything on the next tour. Anyone against us including Malice in the set again?

I wrote in the group chat of our band. Somehow I missed the guys. Hanging out together almost every day after such a long time and getting on each other's nerves, but also growing closer together and now not seeing each other for an indefinite period of time was extremely strange. In general, it was strange to be alone so much, to no longer have a relationship, even though we had all the time in the world to have this relationship now, but it was too late.

I still had our photo as a lock screen. I hardly noticed it anymore.

I played 'Malice' for the first time in many years. It sounded like shit.

I was too slow on the double bass pedal and it annoyed me. I had forgotten the time, because when I sat down at the drums, time flew by. I was very ambitious to get better at it. Stella, my new student, called to say she was outside my garage. I opened the garage door and in front of me stood a slim woman with dark hair and a plunging neckline. Her large breasts immediately caught my eye and I couldn't tell if they were real. They distracted me. I hoped she didn't notice my gaze and was covering up the fact that...fuck, she's your student!

She seemed to be a few years older than me. A strange feeling that I should be teaching someone grown up among the children and teenagers, but certainly exciting. She looked at me shyly through her green eyes as I introduced myself and I asked if she wanted to start drumming. Such a stupid question. Why else was she here?

I took the opportunity to look unobtrusively at her ass as she adjusted her chair in front of the kit.

Fuck, this was never going to go well. I liked her, but she was my fucking student.

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

July

hello friends!!! i am sorry (again) for the late post (again) this time i'm distracted by making sure i watch all of my favorite sport branches in the Olympics 😂 i swear i had like, a draft for July and had been thinking about it on the last ten days of July but then boom the Olympics took my attention away! literally writing this as i watch the men's sports climbing qualifying and wait for artistic gymnastics to start 😂😂😂

so... for a starter... July might be... a start of something new? :) not going to elaborate further but i'm glad i get to experience again something i haven't felt for so long, wherever this will end up as. i don't mean it to be cryptic but: life can hold its mysteries only to reveal it at the most specific time? 😂 it's all casual fun still, but what is life if it's not to enjoy every chance you seize to the fullest!? 😉

went to Bandung again at the first weekend of July, always a good time in one of my fav cities. i'd say Bandung can be my favorite city if only the local govt devised a proper integrated public transportation system, Jakarta still superior with MRT-Transjakarta-Jaklingko-KRL combo. attended a wedding, had a superb time, got to see my fav person too... :) had my routine that is trying new restaurants (Gormeteria, a good 85/100 from me and Lao Ban with 80/100) and of course a bit of refreshing morning walk! anyways i left my heart in Bandung and i will always be so excited to visit :)

also Penang story is due now! spent 6 days in Malaysia for the very first time and it was not even in Kuala Lumpur 😂 so there's this orthodontics seminar there, held by the Malaysian Association of Orthodontists at Georgetown, Penang and me along with five others were accompanying our profs. to save money, the six of us rented an apartment ten minutes away from the venue (which is a 5-star hotel we couldn't afford lol) actually had lots of fun, and i'm so glad all of us have the same personality that spending 24x6 hours together was just an experience full of laughter! tried some of local foods, visited and took pics at the Penang Street Art, the rest was just us exchanging stories at our apartment 😂

July is the first out of two months (summer-like) break and i love i get to do nothing most of the time... i can catch up on films, dramas, series, Olympics games, f1, motogp, and reading while just relaxing. IAO dance rehearsals also going smoothly, a nice weekly exercise for me who don't do workouts much (unless you count house chores???) i just love day-offs i can do whatever i want hehehe

next month on August it'll still be 2nd semester break and i'm kinda nervous now because i heard 3rd semester i'll start handling patients, excited but yeah, nervous!!! good news about August is that my Brisbane based cousin will move back to Indonesia next week! can't wait to be reunited with her 😁

i suppose that's all for July, praying for more good things to come. see you in August post!