#if I wanted bland ass food I WOULD HAVE COOKED

[uglylittlegoblin]

My partner spent money on take out just to come home with fucking chicken, veggies, and rice.

I’m homicidal.

[janeyseymour]

At Arm's Length pt 2

A requested sequel, although this could *probably* be read on its own.

Part 1

WC: ~3k

Melissa Schemmenti was fond of exactly five people at her place of work- six if you counted the strange dynamic she had with the principal of the school. She cared about her beloved work wife Barbara, her three work children, and... and somehow you had wormed your way into her little group, all over a spilled cup of coffee (or two, but who’s counting?). But it wasn’t in the way that she cared for the kindergarten teacher, and it wasn’t in the way that you felt she had a protective maternal feeling for you. It was different. Not bad, but certainly different from the rest. 

Friday night was a nice night with the redheaded teacher. She had wined and dined you, and if you were being honest, it was the best meal of your life. Growing up in center city Philadelphia, you didn’t much have the luxury of decadent food- and you sure as hell know you were lucky to have feasted on her cooking for even just one night. It definitely beat the meals you grew up eating, and there was no contest to be had in the sorry excuses for meals you could ‘cook’ for yourself with the little ingredients you had laying around your half decorated apartment. You’re not sure you would ever be able to afford to cook the way she does. You would need... years of cooking lessons.

You leave her place on a high- full from the delicious food, a little warm from the bottle of wine you had shared, and on cloud nine at the knowledge that the Melissa Schemmenti didn’t hate you in the slightest.

“So, you think I still hate ya?” the second grade teacher playfully pokes at you as you reach for the door.

“I-” you turn red.

“I don’t,” Melissa rolls her eyes. “Now get home safe, and let me know when you get home, yeah?”

You nod with a smile and yet another thank you as you quietly raise the tupperware container filled with leftovers. You leave a moment later, not realizing that she watches you the entire way to your car, making sure you get there safely. She has a bat in hand, ready to pulverize anybody who thinks they can mess with you or try to rob you of her delicious cooking.

When you relay to her that you made it home, she texts back, You’re in your apartment?

I’m in my complex, you reply, not quite ready to go into your apartment that doesn’t quite feel like a home.

Not good enough. Let me know when you’re in- door locked and everything.

When you do, she types back, Good. Don’t miss me too much.

And god, you don’t even know what to make of that text. 

Monday morning comes just a bit too early for you. You wake up just a little too late to brew coffee at home, and you sigh. You were hoping to be at least somewhat caffeinated for the beginning of the week. Grabbing your ‘bland ass salad’ and the now empty and clean tupperware container gifted to you by a certain coworker, you get in your car and head to school.

For the first time upon entering the school, you don’t feel the need to peek into the break room before entering. You aren’t afraid to see that redheaded second grade teacher you used to nearly cower at. You just walk in, a smile on your face as you see the usual crew gathering around the television to watch the news. Everybody but Melissa turns to give you a silent wave before turning back around to the screen. You quietly place your lunch in the fridge, noting you won’t have to move anybody else’s food before making your way over to the coffee machine silently.

“Didn’t make any coffee this morning? Afraid you’d spill it all over ya again?” The redhead asks, eyes still glued to the screen. There’s a hint of mischief in her voice. You turn, not realizing that she even knew you were in the room. You shake your head silently, not wanting to interrupt the broadcast. You remembered what happened the last time you did that. You do not want a repeat of that event. “There’s some in the mug. I made it not five minutes ago. It’s yours if you want it.”

“Thanks,” you say shyly as you let the steam rise in your face. It just happens to be a coincidence that you both like your coffee the same way- no need to fix it at all. You go to leave the room, only to hear that low voice again.

“Come watch the news with us, smalls.” This was the second time the woman had spoken over Jim Gardner to talk to you. 

Not wanting to be back on Melissa’s bad side, you quietly make your way over and take a place next to her and Barb. Slyly, you hand her tupperware back to her. She takes it with a smile and a small nudge to your ribs. Barb glances over, her eyebrow raising just a fraction of an inch, before directing her attention back to the news anchor they all loved. 

When the news is over, Janine turns to you with a grin. “So... how was your weekend? Gregory and I missed you at Bone- the restaurant on Friday.”

“It was nice,” you say quietly. “Lowkey. I needed a quiet weekend after last week.” You unconsciously shift a bit closer to Melissa.

If Barbara notices the way your cheeks tint red or your subtle shift, she doesn’t mention it. She just looks at you with a smile. “I’m glad you had a nice weekend, Y/N. Are you ready for this week?”

“Now that I have some coffee,” you chuckle. “Alright, I have to reply to a few emails I got over the weekend, but I’ll see you all arou-”

“You better have lunch with us,” Melissa cuts you off. All eyes turn to her. “I mean... c’mon, hon. You’re one of us now.”

“I- I am?” you look around the group. Janine and Jacob are all grins and giving you thumbs up. Gregory is as unreadable as ever. Barbara has a knowing look on her face. And Melissa is looking at you like you’re an idiot. 

“You think I’d give my Eagles shirt to just anyone? Or let anyone touch my coffee?” she rolls her eyes. “Yeah. You’re with us now. Don’t be dumb.”

You just barely let yourself smile, afraid of overreacting with the grin you want to let wash over your face. “Y-yeah. Okay. Yeah. I’ll- I’ll see you at lunch.”

As you leave, you hear Janine ask, “Hey, Melissa, where’d that tupperware come from?”

“Who’s askin’?” You hear her gravelly voice ask, and you can practically hear her staring down the shorter teacher. “Why you gotta know?”

You smile into the mug as you continue on down the hall. 

Come lunch time, you’re almost excited to join the group again- even if it means Melissa will make fun of your lunch again. But then Zion didn’t have lunch again- just an empty lunch box-, and you have to go through the charade of making sure the lunch ladies made extra so he could have lunch without taking someone else’s. And by the time all of that is over, you only have twelve minutes left to try to enjoy your lunch before having to head outside for your dreaded recess duty. 

You hear their conversation before they know you’re outside the door.

“Oh come on, Melissa,” Jacob laughs nervously. “You and I both know that your attitude towards her didn’t just flip overnight.”

“Well, we did have the weekend,” she bites back, and you can practically see the smirk on her face. 

“You know what I mean!” he argues. “You hated her on Thursday, and now you’re inviting her to sit with you and Barb at lunch? You even have her salad ready for her?”

You silently pray the kindergarten teacher won’t let slip that you had gone over to Melissa’s for dinner on Friday. She doesn’t. Of course she doesn’t.

“Yeah, and if she doesn’t come down and eat it before lunch is over, I’m gonna go down to her room and shove it down her-”

You push the door open gently.

“There y’are,” the redhead says as she kicks out the seat next to her. “Where ya been?”

You sigh softly as you sit down next to her. “Making sure all my kids had a lunch to eat... Zion’s mom forgot to pack his lunch- again.” 

Barbara gives a sad shake of the head. “She’s been doing that since I had him in Kindergarten. Next time, tell the lunch ladies to put it on my account.”

“N-no, I just paid for it,” you say quietly as you glance at your salad on the table. You don’t make any moves to eat it. “I have been. He needs to eat.”

“And so do you,” Melissa says pointedly as she juts her chin out towards your container.

“I’m not that hungry, and I won’t have time to finish it,” you mumble. You won’t admit that you’re craving her pasta, and you know your salad just won’t do the trick. “I have recess duty in-” you glance at your watch. “Seven minutes.”

You see the gears turning in the second grade teacher’s head. “Gimme a minute.” She stands from her place and heads out the door. You all hear the way her boots hit the tile as she makes her way down the hall.

You fiddle with your thumbs, just trying to pass the last few minutes of your lunch, when you feel like you’re being stared at. You look up. You are being stared at. 

“What?” You ask, suddenly self-conscious of your appearance. You glance at Barb who has a knowing smile but again chooses to stay silent.

“You know Melissa is about to get you out of recess duty, right?” Janine asks.

Your brows knit in confusion, but before you can say anything, the woman in question struts in proudly.

“I got someone to cover your duty. Now eat,” she says pointedly as she heads for the coffee machine.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you say shyly. “But thank you.”

“You’ve never done that for me before,” Jacob pouts, clearly a little jealous of this strange soft spot Melissa has developed for you.

“Me either,” Janine pipes up. “Even after-”

“Or me,” Gregory speaks from next to Janine.

“Well, youse usually eat your lunch. We can’t have newbie going down like Janine did that day we had the power go out,” Melissa laughs it off. She looks in your direction again. “Dammit, Y/N. Eat your lunch, or I’ll have to make a ziti for naught.”

Sheepishly, you open your lunch and begin to eat slowly. “Thanks,” you say quietly as you cover your full mouth with your hand.

“Eh, don’t mention it.” She smiles proudly as she fixes two cups of coffee. She sets one down in front of you.

When you look at her curiously, she rolls her eyes. “Y’look like you need it. ‘N apparently, I know how you like it.” She winks at you jokingly.

You nearly choke on your lunch at her dirty innuendo.

“Finish up,” she sighs as she pushes her chair back into place. “I gotta go grab my little eagles and pray to God Aiden didn’t try to beat up on Omari again. I don't think I can handle another call home with that one.” 

Slowly, the rest of the crew trickles out of the lunch room to get back to their students, and you’re left in peace to finish your lunch and coffee. You can't help the dorky grin that washes over your face as you head down the hall to pick up your kids and can hear her praising her students’ reading stamina.

The rest of the day is better- it isn’t a total drag. The rest of the week pretty much follows the same routine- Melissa makes you a cup of coffee in the morning even though you walk in with one- it gets thrown out so you can enjoy hers, you make sure your students are all being adequately fed, and you head down for your lunch with the group you’ve suddenly found yourself a part of.

On Thursday, you can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness knowing Melissa will be outside at recess and not sitting next to you to make fun of your lunch and the fact that your hair is still perfectly in place.

“Hey,” you greet the group, sans Melissa, as you head for the fridge for your lunch.

“It’s already out,” Barb chuckles and points to your newly designated spot. Glancing over, you see that your salad, a fork, and a freshly made cup of steaming hot coffee are waiting for you.

“Oh,” you blush as you make your way over. “Thanks.”

“Wasn’t me, dear,” the kindergarten teacher says knowingly. She looks around to make sure everyone else is in their own conversation before she’s leaning in and whispering, “It was that redhead that you suddenly have wrapped around your finger.”

Your blush only gets deeper, and you attempt to hide it behind a quick bite of food.

“She said somethin’ about how you’ll ‘make it up to her later’?” Barb questions quietly. “Is there something you two aren’t telling me?”

Your eyes go wide, and you shake your head. “I told her this morning I would help her with her bulletin board after school today, that’s all.”

She gives a low, “Mhmm,” before going back to her own lunch. 

“I’m serious!” You laugh nervously. “I told her I would help her revamp her bulletin board!”

“Alright, sweetheart,” the veteran educator laughs. “I believe you.”

Lunch almost drags by without that loud laugh you love to hear when you accidentally mumble something under your breath and Melissa hears it. 

Come the end of the day, you walk down the hall to go assist Melissa with her decorating. She’s standing there, as if she’s already been waiting for an hour.

“C’mon, kid,” she laughs as you saunter down. “I’m not gettin’ any younger over here.”

You pick up the pace with a chuckle and look over her materials. It definitely has potential, and you can’t deny the projects she’s choosing to showcase from her class are adorable.

She lets you take almost full control over her board, noting how your tongue just barely pokes out of the side of your mouth as you mount the background.

“What?” You nearly let a giggle slip. “I don’t want your background to have any wrinkles!”

“And I appreciate it, hon,” she laughs as she takes you in. “Where’d y’learn to decorate like this?”

You shrug. “I’ve always liked doin’ it, and seeing the kids’ smiles when they see their work on a nice board- it feels good.”

When it’s finished, you take a step back with a grin. Your neat hair is now tied up in one of the messiest buns she’s seen, and your shirt actually has wrinkles in it from the odd positions you had put your body in to ensure that her board was perfect. But in that moment, Melissa realizes, she’s smitten for you. She has no idea why she ever thought she could hate you- she had her eyes on you from the very beginning. 

“I think that looks good enough,” you say humbly, but the dopey smile on your face tells her how proud you are of this.

“It looks perfect, hon,” she lays a gentle hand on your arm, giving it a squeeze.

Only then do you turn a deep shade of red.

“You blush a lot,” she notes as she takes the stapler out of your hand and sets it down. She doesn’t make any further moves away from you. You feel your ears starting to burn.

Nervously, you tuck a loose hair behind your ear. She’s close enough that you can really take in those sparkling green eyes of hers, and she’s yet to take her hand off your arm. You hope she can’t feel your heart practically beating out of your chest.

“Don’t worry,” she laughs quietly. “It’s cute.”

You don't quite know how to respond, but you can tell that she’s starting to lean in. Just a little more, and she would be-

“The hell are you two still doin’ here?” Mr. Johnson yells from the other side of the hallway, dragging the mop bucket behind him. Thankfully, you think, he’s too far away to realize the compromising position the two of you are in. “Get outta here so I can lock up!” 

Begrudgingly, you pull away from her close proximity to call out to him, “Sorry, Mr. J! We were just workin’ on the bulletin board outside of Melissa’s room! We’ll be out in a few minutes!”

He huffs loudly enough for you to hear it, and you turn back to the redhead. “I guess that’s our cue to head out. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Or... you could come over for dinner again?”

“You already made me dinner in exchange for the-”

“Not as a transaction, ya goof. As a-” she bites her lip and takes a deep breath. “As a date.”

“R-really?” You ask shyly.

“Yeah, hon. As a date.”

“I- I’d like that.” You grin. “I’ve been craving your pasta since last Sunday when I ran out.”

“Then that’s what I’ll make. Hell, I might even let you attempt to make it with me,” she teases you.

“I’ll grab the wine and be over,” you grin.

As you leave, you feel Melissa’s hand on your back to guide you out. Neither of you have a clue that Mr. Johnson is watching with a small smile on his face. He knew exactly what was going down. Those halls told many stories, and somehow, Mr. Johnson was always a part of those stories- even if no one knew it. 

Next

[pianocat939]

Well, since my stupid ass decided to sleep early at night, I’m now stuck awake for the first day of my finals.

Love that.

Anyway, shit posting idea that came to me while I watched the ANA mascot dance to Perfect Night-

Yandere plane companies.

Now we could take this in corporate form or like literal planes.

.

.

.

Like, let’s say MC is just poor ass bitch who wants to go somewhere (home/friend/idfk) and buys not just main cabin- but basic economy.

Oh but won’t you look at that! They got moved to First Class for some reason. The flight attendants tell them they can’t change it. So they end up just chilling in the very good spot.

Mealtime? Well of course first class has better options. They could always choose the side menu… oh but you’re in luck! They have your favourite food right on the additional menu along with the main meals.

Usually it’s kind of…bland or simply sad airplane food, but you get a ceramic plate and it looks freshly cooked? How odd.

When the plane lands and they get their luggage, when they’re let off the plane, the staff say goodbye with “Please fly with us again! We would be very delighted to have you back.”

.

.

.

If MC takes a flight from a different company next time, there’s a corporate argument. They’re flaming at each other, trying to reduce prices for MC so that they’ll flight with them instead.

It’s really a hellfire in the background.

They’re even pulling up the lounges card. And of course they specifically make sure the lounges stock up on their favourites beforehand.

.

.

.

Now if we go with planes, I could totally see planes flying as fast as possible to get to MC’s departure airport faster to be the one to get selected for takeoff.

Planes definitely try to keep their internal conditions and engines as well working as possible so nothing malfunctions before take off.

(I’ve had a plane malfunction for 5 hours before take off only to wait 2 days so that one of the engines could be replaced. Thankfully I was still in Haneda and not like some unfamiliar place aha-)

Of course I have finals, but you know, we can just build on this shitpost if you want tehe-

[idanceuntilidie]

I get so hugry when you say you love me.

yandere male x gn reader.

Tw: Yandere behaviours| Mentions of kidnapping| Cannibalism| Slightly suggestive at only one point.

Requests open

It took me longer to write than I thought it would honestly and it’s not even that long. Sorry for that.

Now if you excuse me Im gonna eat a bowl of cereal and yes that is my dinner.

Turns out there is not many things you can do without your limbs.

Your eyes wandered lazily around the bright pink ceiling, you were hungry and bored. You don’t remember how many days Gummy kept you in his house.

No internet, no tv, music was allowed only on CDs or cassettes but you would only be able to listen to it when he was in the room with you. The room itself was, heavily decorated.

Very scene, very cool, you would appreciate it more if you didn’t spend most of your time laying down and being held against your will. Surround by pillows and plushies, on a huge ass bed.

Gummy took care of you. He made sure you were dressed up so nicely. He liked to talk about how when he was younger he had so many dolls and he could dress them up.Then he would look into your eyes and smile, you saw the same crazed look every time, then he would say that you are like a doll now. So pretty and his. It was easy to guess that he would do little fashion shows with you. From dresses to suits. He bought them just for you. Right now you wore very loose clothing that you are sure was his, you could tell by the smile and how… excited he got.

He rarely went out of the house. He fears that somehow you would leave him.

How the fuck would you even do that? Your legs and arms were chopped off. The worst part is that sometimes you still can feel them, sometimes it’s quick, other time you feel the burning sensation which makes you cry out.

So Gummy made sure not to leave the house all that much, when he trusts you more maybe, just maybe he will.

Groceries were kind of hard to get.

Your diet mainly consisted of fruits, vegetables. After some time you might get sick of those. The taste would get bland and well it made you sometimes want to throw up.

Currently you were waiting for the dinner, by waiting you mean you were laying on your back because moving without limbs was actually really hard for you. He promised that today he would prepare something great.

You hoped that maybe today he would give you an actual dinner.

And he did, it looked too good to be true.

“Hi sunshine! Sorry for taking so long I wanted your first proper dinner to be perfect!”

You heard him giggle.

He helped you sit up and you looked over his shoulder to see such a beautiful food behind him. Finally no more fruits. He hummed as he went to bring up the plate.

It smelled so good, you were a bit taken back since you didn’t know he would be able to cook anything else than water.

He began to feed you, it still was in fact so embarrassing every single time.

You chewed slowly, looking away from him. He laughed happily when he saw you enjoyed his cooking. It didn’t take you long to finish, Gummy put the plate away and basically pounced on you. You shrieked when he playfully licked your lips saying how good you taste like.

“I just ate that means you are just tasting your own fucking cooking!”

“Yea I know”

You tried to bite him, it only made him chuckle and grab your face.

“You taste amazing, my point still stands, and your meat was so easy to prepare you would have never guessed.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘my meat’?”

He let go of your face. He smiled eerily while he tapped the nub of your arm.

“The rest is for me, I will have a part of you inside me! Isn’t that romantic?”

Your stomach squeezed painfully, eyes widening. Did he.. Oh God. You felt the vomit it your mouth, Gummy laughed as he pinched your nose and covered your mouth.

“You better swallow and not waste my cooking.”

You didn’t want to, eyes blurring due to lack of oxygen. You didn’t want to, but when your eyes locked with his, hot tears streaming down your face, he just smiled.

[surr3al1sm]

My Brezziana & Jack (best) friends headcanons

I've had these in my brain for a hot second now (aka ever since I saw them interact bc I was like 'yup besties') but it's time for the world (tumblr) to know.

Everythings below the cut bc there are a lot.

My headcanons about the type of duo they are:

🧡 A true ^^ (Brezz) & :| (Jack) character trope duo

🌹 Brezziana is an extrovert and Jack is an introvert (which automatically makes them even better friends)

🧡 Brezziana has a very high social battery while Jack has a very low social battery.

🌹 Brezziana is an optimist while Jack is a pessimist, but they always manage to find a middle ground.

🧡 Brezziana is a heavy yapper and Jack just sits there and listens.

My headcanons about what their (best) friendship looks like, they start silly but they get more funky at the end:

🌹 One of Brezziana's main love languages is physical affection, while Jack dislikes (I wouldn't say hates but he could live without it) it. Eventually they managed to find a compromise where Brezziana is allowed to offer him a high five daily and a hug once every two days (unless Jack instigates it first)

🧡 Brezziana will send Jack her entire feed, and he takes time out of his day to look at everything and respond to it/like it. Jack rarely sends her anything but when he does she responds within minutes.

🌹 Whenever they're ordering food Jack will say he's not hungry, so Brezziana orders him something anyways. So whenever the food comes out she's just like "Oh but what's this quarterpounder with cheese doing in my pocket?"

🧡 Brezziana encourages Jack to be more confident outside his preformances. (This one I got from @mimikyuu-x so thanks pooks)

🌹 Brezziana always cooks (more cultural) dishes she likes or has been wanting to try whenever Jack's around because she knows he'll at least try them since eveything is better than the bland food they serve at the Swan Tower.

🧡 The only language they have in common is English, but the second someone pisses them off they start roasting them to each other in their respective languages. They don't speak a lick of each others language but understand every word that's said.

🌹 Brezziana's apartment is very brightly decorated, so whenever Jack comes around she dims or turns off all overhead lights to make everything more bearable for him (he grew up as a sad black-and-pink baby, he isn't used to all that colour).

🧡 When they hang out they tend to partake in some sort of active activity (like dancing). Brezziana is just happy to have someone that can keep up with her, and Jack is relieved he doesn't spend time with her in ways his mother would consider useless (he doesn't see it as useless activities himself, but hearing the same opinion about stuff like that your entire life does something to a man).

🌹 Jack has a little voice in his head (specifically Night Swan's voice) thats constantly criticing his every move, and Brezziana is slowly trying to chip away at this by constantly giving him compliments and telling him he's doing a great job.

Jezus christ this is another long ass post. Honestly, if you came this far: I thank you for listening to me yap for so long. I hope you enjoyed my head canons and maybe you even agree with some.

[planerot]

Radiator Spring residents ranked on how trustworthy they are in the kitchen

(All these are intended to be humanized headcanons, but can be interpreted however you like. Also, quick content warning for food and a brief allusion to mold)

Flo - She literally owns a diner, (I did some googling and turns out, even though it's called Flo's V8 café, it's a diner. The disneyland website describes the IRL version in car's land as a 'Route 66-inspired diner' ) she makes the best food in town no questions asked. She's the one who makes everyone in Radiator Springs their birthday cakes and dinners each year, and has their favorite flavors and foods memorized by heart. If she catches wind that someone in town in feeling under the weather, that person will have a big pot of soup delivered to their doorstep before the end of the day. She is also very good about keeping her workspaces extremely clean due to the health and safety standards that come with running a diner. 10/10, she is the best by a very large margin.

Doc Hudson - During Doc's earlier years, back when he was still racing, he was a very mediocre cooking. He made stuff that was incredibly bland, boring, stupid easy, or a combination of all three. After his accident and moving to Radiator Spring, he was kind of forced to learn to make more interesting meals after eating nothing but mac and cheese, sandwiches, breakfast foods and other such things for a month straight and growing positively sick of it (because we all know his self isolating ass would NOT want to accept any invites to eat or, god forbid, risk accidentally socializing while at Flo's when he was fresh off a life changing crash). He, overtime, forced himself to learn how to actually cook and thus accidentally became one of the most talented cooks in Radiator Springs, second only to Flo.

Guido - He spent a lot of time in a tightknit, small Italian village, living with Mama Topolino, I feel it's very likely he picked up some tips, tricks and recipes during his time there. The vast majority of what he knows how to make is Italian food, but so long as he has a recipe, I think he could make anything.

Luigi - Basically the same as Guido. Only reason I put him below Guido is because he doesn't have the basically super human reflexes and motor control Guido has, thus making him more prone to spills and mess in the kitchen.

Red - The issue with writing any headcanons for Red is that he's more a gag then an actual character. I did a bunch of digging on his wiki page and all of it can be summed up to 'He likes flowers, is a firefigher and incredibly sensitive'...so I worked with that best I could. I think he'd be pretty decent at cooking since firefighters usually take turns cooking for their team, so anyone in that career usually has to learn to cook something actually edible. Red likely learnt how to cook during his very early days of firefighting before he moved to Radiator Springs. His dishes are definitely simpler, but that doesn't mean he can't make some very tasty, filling dishes. He takes enjoyment in serving his food to others and absolutely will burst into tears if someone insults his cooking.

Lizzie - Lizzie is the stereotypical baker grandma. A lot of the recipes she makes are pretty old, but that doesn't make them damn tasty. Her memory issues make baking a bit harder, but she still manages just fine. Baking helps keep her up and moving, even if it's only in her kitchen

Sally - She's never really had a knack for cooking and does her best from what people have taught her through the years. She can make a lot of really good pasta dishes, but other then that she doesn't really excel at anything.

Sheriff - Incredibly average. He's more the type to get food from Flo's or buy prepacked stuff then he is the type to actually make himself anything. When he does actually bother, all the stuff he makes is pretty good but absolutely nothing to write home about. He's more the type of person someone asks to pick up groceries for a meal then actually make the meal.

Fillmore - 100% more a baker then a cook. He first picked up baking to make weed brownies and ended up really enjoying the whole process. His recipes are very hit or miss though since he likes trying to make his desserts more healthy in some way. Sometimes this means they just taste a little off, and sometimes this means they taste like he just tossed sugar and cocoa powder in a bowl with some dried hay and baked it. He is also a hazard in a kitchen since he sometimes he gets munchies while high and will completely forget stuff in the oven, thus leading to multiple fire alarm scares.

Ramone - God bless his heart, but this man can barely cook. Flo has tried to teach him, but he just cannot seem to quite get it, often burning things, adding to much seasoning or accidentally forgetting ingredients. He loves spending time with Flo in the kitchen, so he gets relegated to vegetable peeling or pot stirring, which he very happily does because it means he gets to hang out with his amazing wife. The one thing he does excellent at is decorating. It took him a couple tries to get the technique down, but he is an amazing cake decorator, his years of painting cars meaning he has a scarily steady hand and very keen artistic eye. Flo always lets him decorate the cupcakes/cakes when she makes them for people's birthdays and they always turn out gorgeous.

Sarge - The issue with Sarge is that he refuses to toss anything out. He isn't good at cooking at all. That man does not give a shit how black his scrambled eggs are or how his chicken wings could probably be used as bricks, he will eat them. Whenever someone asks why he eats obviously terrible food, he just says something about how this is nothing compared to how terrible food was in the military. He's grown an iron stomach and hates wasting food even when it would probably be better for his health just to toss out the suspiciously fuzzy loaf of bread.

Lightning - He has mostly lived his adult life living off of fast food, microwave dinners, canned soup and whatever he can eat when people invite him over for dinner. He could probably be a very competent chef if he was taught how to, but he is a bit to embarrassed to admit it to someone else.

Mater - Do not let him near a kitchen he WILL burn it down. For the love of god he is clumsy as fuck and will somehow seriously injure himself or anyone if left to his own devices. He likes the idea of cooking for himself and his friends, but in practice it usually ends with either a fire, a hospital visit, or some horrid combination of both.

[shutit-haha]

WolfBakugo pt.3

"You know you never did tell me your name," you took a seat at the table. The stool was to high so your legs dangled over the floor, and the metal backing could use just a bit more support. Ok so it wasn't the comfiest chair. "Why not sit at the other table?" You suggested, wanting to move to the better wooden chairs. (Despite how hard those are going to be.)

"Shut up," he growls, "talk too much." The grumpy blonde shovels food into his mouth, chewing in the silence.

"Was just trying to be polite, and the seats are a little uncomfortable," you mumbled.

"You're wearing my clothes," he gestured to your outfit. Your hair was still damp so it left wet trails on the back of his shirt. "You're eating my food," he gestured to the dish in front of you- already half eaten. "You're staying in my house, in one of my rooms and now you want to decide where we eat."

Well gee mister not anymore, "I never asked to stay with you."

"You were freezing your fucking ass out there!"

"Ok and?"

"Don't be a dumbass," he shoveled more food into his mouth. More silence as the both of you ate.

"Your a good cook," you complimented. A water droplet fell from a strand of baby hair at the bottom of your skull, rolling beneath the color of the black shirt. You shivered.

He noticed.

"Are you done eating as well?" You were standing next to him, shorter due to the tall ass stool. Your hip was pressed up against the table, plate in hand to take to the sink.

"I'll do the dishes," he rose from his place.

"No it's fine, I've already taken a lot from you." You snatched the plate up from him, moving to the sink to clean them. Another shiver from you, just before the water turned on.

"You're cold."

"It's ok."

You placed the dishes in the rack to dry, just as you turned around something slammed into your face. "Hoodie, so you don't freeze your ass." Black and orange with a large graphic on the center of it. "Rooms down the hall and cross from the bathroom." He was already leaving to call it a night. "Go the fuck to sleep."

When morning came you had hoped to sneak out under his radar however he was already up. "Good morning," you smiled from were the hallway bled into the kitchen.

He grunted not even sparing a glance as you as he cooked the eggs. There was an open carton next to the stove, four of the eggs already missing. Freshly cut chives left on a cutting board, accompanied by diced bell peppers and onion. "What are you making," you glanced over at the seasoning he had open. The flavors would be considered bland in your household but you assumed the vegetables were to make up for that.

"Breakfast," he grunted.

"Wonderful conversationalist," you rolled your eyes at his back. "I'll be leaving so.."

"You're not gonna eat."

"You seem like I'm bothering you, leaving just made sense."

"It's to fucking early for talking, I woke up and my room was fucking cold, and now that you're up too the place fuckin' smells like you." He plates an omelet setting it aside and checking whatever is sizzling in the oven.

"I'm sorry, do I stink?" You lifted an arm to smell yourself, you seemed fine.

"Are you a fuckin' idoit? Dumbass," he kissed his teeth. "You have scent everyone does."

"I know that-"

He pointed to the dog tag dangling from his neck, "are the dots connecting?"

"Do I really smell that bad," your brows drooped to make a sad face.

He sighs taking the baking sheet out of the oven, and plating another omelet. "No," more smells mingle in the kitchen. Bacon and quartered potatoes, it's like some sort of Disney breakfast. "Eat and then I'll take you home."

"Thank you," you look down at your food. It's quite beautiful actually, everything is proportionate and none of the flavors are too overpowering. "Bakugo."

He looks up at you, head moving so quickly it startles you. Carmine eyes glare with such an intensity it makes fireworks in your brain.

You swallow, "your tag."

He glances down at the engraved name. Another grunt from the ash blonde, "and you?"

"Oh..."

[ophexis]

Today's food from the Neopets Cookbook was....

Space quesadilla!

Yknow at first I wasn't sure why this item was 11k neopoints but after making it I kind of understand lmao it's a little tedious. But it got me thinking back that 20 years ago I would not have been able to afford this food item in the game comfortably haha.

Started off with some onions and beans! You gotta cook the onions for a bit, then add the seasoning, then the beans.

Then you have to mash this whole thing in a "chunky purée"

I wouldn't exactly call this a purée, but I worked with it lmao. I'm not sure if it's meant to be softer than this or not but it worked out! Also to be fair I keep forgetting to buy a potato masher and had to make do.

Now it's time for assembly! A layer of the bean paste, and then a generous amount of cheese. In hindsight I shoulda put more cheese. But also at this point I'm very hungry and want to eat this thing.

The next step is to cut them into stars. This is a messy process and leaves you with a lot of extra cuttings. The cookbook suggest just cooking and eating them on the side, which yeah fair! But it does make a mess lol. The stars are very cute, but I probably wouldn't bother with it if I was gonna make this again haha. Would be fun for a party though!

All that's left is to garnish with pico de gallo! I omitted the cilantro in mine bc I hate cilantro and i know it likely changed the flavor but I don't care. Apologies for the messy presentation but I was hungry and also on the clock lmao. I may or may not have eaten one already. Also I suck ass at flipping stuff in pans sdfsg.

They tasted alright! There's a few things I would change from my first attempt (and I did do with the second batch): First I would put more seasoning in the bean paste. The two teaspoons of cumin kinda disappeared in all the beans. I think I could've used more lime juice too! Or just more salt.

Second I would use a mix of cheese. The cookbook suggest using cheddar or swiss (or a mix of both). I went with swiss for funsies but swiss alone was a little bland. In the second batch I added some cheddar and it was much better. And some green onions bc green onions are always good.

So this was neat! The taste was nothing to write home about but that's easily fixed I think, my second batch was much better. I think my pan got a bit too hot at the end too lol. Aside from the mess it was really easy to make though and cutting it into quarters was much faster and slightly less messy. But for a party or simply enclosure enrichment sometimes cutting your food into stars is just fun.

"See y'all next time!"

[sasukimimochi]

a little bedtime story I wrote for @mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess to help them get to sleep (I wrote it ...live? LMAO idk what word to use. essentially I wrote it a few sentences at a time while they read) & so while its not explicitly stated as wangxian, you can definitely tell where its origins lie. I hope you enjoy!

*Little detail i wanna add: the "fox" is a fox spirit like my oc rahul is a wolf spirit- so he can change back and forth between human and fox as he pleases so long as he has his pelt.

*the mc here is at the bare minimum a mortal of some kind like a human.

Word Count: 513

.✦ In The Mountains ✦.

Once upon a time, deep within the sharp mountains of a lonely winter glade, there was a man who stood before a great towering peak of snow.

The man was searching, searching for something. 

He'd been walking for days, so he decided to have a moment of respite and rest with a small fire.

he rubbed his hands together and held them near the flame, watching the colors dance around the edges of his palms as his mind ran circles, laughter echoing in his memories.

He ran along side a little fox, eyes like rubied crescents on his own of winter sky. He smiled, never having felt such elation that his companion brought.

But then the fox disappeared into the dangerous glade in the mountain.

It'd been 13 years since then.

He sighed deeply, bringing his hands back to himself in order to look at the calluses and flushed tones of his fingertips. He couldn't stay in the mountains forever, he had to go back home. He had family waiting…but…

He missed him.

The village didn't.

He decided he was too anxious to rest longer, and snuffed out the fire with a bucket of snow, pulling out strips of bland dried meat that he could eat on the way. He'd be scolded for this, if he was at home. But he didn't have the resources to cook up here, it was too cold.

It didn't matter though. As long as he treated them with respect. Like the little fox did.

He could remember that bright smile hiding behind his caramel fingers. Like he was the most playful mischievous fox in the world, but he thanked the earth for every meal he had.

He remembered how the villagers blamed him for animals going missing, for food stolen from their stores.

But he trusted him.

He bundled his cloak closer and breathed out clouds of ice, eyelashes lowering to shield from the cold.

soon, soon he would find him.

His head whipped upright as he heard laughter, eyes widening as he saw a wisp of black fur trail behind trees and disappear between them.

He ran after it.

He ran and ran and ran, until his legs burned from the rush.

Until he went tumbling, a mess of black and whites and reds and blues. He groaned and lifted his head, shaking the snow off his head as he listened to the quiet laughing beneath him.

He felt the ice and snow melt away in an instant.

Quietly, he brushed away the snow on that pinkened nose, familiar eyes of stormy nights gazing back into his own. And he cried.

He cried and hugged him tight, the frost banishing from his heart as those arms came to rest around him as well.

The feeling of being able to hold the one he loved once more, it felt as if he couldn't breathe- ah, perhaps not, it was simply a kiss so breathtaking he forgot how.

He never wanted to leave again.

The snow wasn't so bad, when you had the sun to melt it away.

The End✦.

[just-a-creep-babe]

Random request but would it be possible to do head-canons of various creeps of your choosing who have an s/o (female) that's super strong. Like she wields a giant 200 pound claymore (think cloud from FF7)

Pftbft Cloud is so 😳😳

Also I just LOVE swords n daggers n such, it was so much fun choosing the gifs, I hope ya enjoy! ^^

Masterlist: x

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Jeff the Killer

This dumb bitch is constantly trying to fight you

Not in a mean way or anything, he just loves sparring, and he loves a good challenge

If he can’t beat you, you should expect sneak attacks throughout the day because he is such a sore loser

And if he can beat you, expect him to brag about it all the damn time

This manses, I stg 🙄

That’s only, of course, if you’re willing to fight him

If he knows you don’t want to, he’ll always be down, but he won’t force you—your heart’s gotta be in it, or it’s just not the same

These combat sessions often lead to more physical action, if ya know what I mean 😉

He’ll often ask about your diet & workout routine because he’s (obviously) super into fitness as well

He doesn’t cook for other people since everyone complains his food is bland, but he’ll cook lots of protein-based meals for you to make sure you’re eating properly

It’s nice to have his expertise on fitness & nutrition, and vice versa

And as much as he likes smaller partners he can manhandle, he can’t deny the benefits of such a strong, fit partner~

BEN Drowned

Fanboy Moment™️

He is sUch a simp, it’s unreal 💀💀

He will, like, Constantly ask you to crush him between your thighs

Makes Mommy jokes all the time because he wants you to ✨wreck him✨

He also develops a habit of watching you work out because 👀💦

But other than how goddamn horny he is—when he pulls pranks at the mansion, he often goes running up to you so that he can hide behind you 😅

Surely, you’d protect him from the creeps that wanna beat his ass, right?

He‘d love to handle your sword if you let him

He’s semi-decent at fighting with them, but he might struggle just a tad with yours because it’s so heavy

If you’re patient with him and his horniness, he’d love to learn more about sword fighting

Especially if it means the two of you will spar & he’ll end up pinned beneath you 😌😉

What can I say? He’s a romantic at heart~

Eyeless Jack

Aww, does his little human mate really think she’s stronger than him? That’s cute

It’s very unlikely that you’re stronger than Jack—his supernatural strength is a force to be reckoned with

But! that doesn’t mean he won’t appreciate your strength!!

On the contrary, he loves how strong you are

Knowing you can hold your own in a fight really helps ease his protective instincts

AND he likes knowing he doesn’t need to hold back as much as he normally would 😉

Similar to Jeff, sparring matches are a fairly common occurrence

He loves play fighting with you, and he sometimes shamelessly lets you win because he not-so-secretly likes it when you flaunt your power

His demonic side especially loves a mate that’ll prove their strength to court him~

He’ll gladly patch you up whenever/if ever you get wounded in a fight or during training

Even despite knowing how strong you are, he still can’t resist being a tad overprotective of you sometimes

It’s honestly very sweet uwu

Laughing Jack

For the most part, LJ doesn’t really know how strong the average human is

He doesn’t spend that much time around people, so it can be difficult to remember what they’re capable of

Usually, when he does experience a human’s strength, it ranges between children, unarmed adults and adults with weapons

So he sees a fairly wide range of human power

Having a strong s/o does not help with this confused perception

It results in him kind of just,, assuming everyone’s that strong

And he becomes weary of nearly every human he comes across—even little kids

You just can’t trust those little bastards

If he ends up finally understanding that you’re much, much stronger than the average person, he’ll feel a sense of pride swell in his rotten black heart :)

He likes having you as a mate because he thinks you’re special~

Still, human abilities are quite odd to him, so you can’t expect him to fully understand—poor bby :”)

He’ll love & cherish you despite not always knowing what you’re capable of <3

X-Virus

He is into it

Like BEN, he thinks it’s hot—and he’s absolutely shameless about it

He won’t even try to hide his attraction

On the contrary, he‘ll shower you with compliments & cheesy pick-up lines revolving around your strength all the damn time

He’s a brat, so he’ll no-so-subtly act like a cocky little shit so that you can remind him of your strength ;)

Other than that, he’s pretty curious, so if you’re alright with it, he’d love to test how strong you really are

He’ll ask for blood samples & fitness tests, he’ll hook you up to machines with wires—he’ll have a field day in his lil’ science lab if you let him :)

And he might even figure out why you’re this strong—genetics, training, maybe something supernatural of sorts?

He’ll absolutely fuse together some big weapons if you want

Like heavy, powerful tools that have a shit ton of gadgets attached to them & 1001 lethal features

He’s a science-y person, so he’s pretty versatile

Anything for his strong s/o uwu

[jollyinha]

50 (+3) Facts About My Rook Listener (aka Félix)!

Because I love him in a hiperfocus kind of way 😭💙 If you want to see how he looks like, go to my yuurivoice tag, and you will find all my listeners! Although I probably should make an updated version, he has gotten a 2.0 version ever since... Also, tagging @itsargyle since they suggested taking other YV fans! I'm... Too shy to tag anyone else tho lmao

Anyway, here goes my big infodump on my favorite sunshine boy:

1 - Hey, I'm Félix Torres... Or not, because that's my middle name, and my actual name is Victor. But I'm not that fond of Victor, so I go by Félix!

2 - Victor was my mom's grandpa's name, and Félix is a tribute to my dad, whose name was Feliciano.

3 - Thanks to the acute accent, the correct pronunciation of Félix would be "feh-liks", not "fee-liks". Oh, and the "c" in Victor is mute. It's Vitor. But sometimes even I forget that it isn't supposed to be spelled like the gringos do, haha!

4 - My mom is Brazilian and my dad was Colombian. I was born in Brazil (Aracaju in Sergipe, to be more specific), but have been living in the USA for most of my life now. I used to spend the holidays in Colombia as a kid, but haven't been there ever since dad passed away... I really should pay it a visit again soon, though. It's a real nice country.

5 - I speak native Portuguese, fluent English and intermediary Spanish. I've been studying ASL (as of right now I just know basic stuff like "hi", "how are you?", how to introduce myself... But hey, at least I know the whole alphabet off the top of my head!) and French too, but it has been hard to find some free time... And when I do have it, I always end up drawing, crafting, cooking... Duolingo's owl wants to eat my ass.

6 - Speaking of which, these are my favorite hobbies! Drawing and painting are main passions in life, though. I've been in love with art as far as I can remember. I was in a few-years-long hiatus when it came to painting, only came back to it recently, but have been drawing non-stop ever since I was a little boy!

7 - When it comes to crafting, I enjoy many aspects of it... I've been really into papercraft these days. Origami, paper dolls, collages... But I also really like jewelry making and fabric painting (even if I find it so damn hard, haha!). I just love personalizing things in general. Sometimes, I see a piece of furniture, have an idea and just have to put my personal touch.

8 - I also know how to sew, but I can't say that I'm a big fan. I've tried crochet once, per example, and almost fell asleep on the couch. It's just a bit boring to me... But I'll gladly sew back a button or fix a hole if you ask nicely!

9 - And, last but not least, I love cooking! Not as much as I love to eat, but anyway. I picked up cooking as a way to deal with my pyrophobia and to bond with my uncle (he owns a restaurant!), and really took a liking to it... And modesty aside, I'm damn good at it!

10 - Speaking of which... I'm a bit of a bottomless pit when it comes to food! I'll eat (mostly) anything, am willing to try (mostly) everything and am hungry 24/7. Please, feed me.

11 - My favorite food is kind of specific, but: I love Thanksgiving pies. And breakfast foods. But anything that's chicken or has corn is also very damn good.

12 - I don't really like fruits. Most of them feel either bland (apples taste like NOTHING!) or straight up gross. I hate, HATE peach. Mango, guaba and pineapple too. Disgusting. I'm team vegetables all the way. Lemon and watermelon are the only ones that get a pass.

13 - My favorite ice cream favorite is chocomint!

14 - When it comes to drinks... I like coffee, as long as it has milk and unholy amounts of sugar (hate bitter coffee, as contradictory as it is). And while I'm not too big on alcoholic drinks, I like champagne.

15 - I also like biking, but, much like studying ASL and French, I don't have enough free time nowadays to really get into it again... But I try to bike every weekend I can!

16 - As a kid, I was in singing classes! I really enjoyed it and was pretty decent at it, but nowadays I do it just for fun. Love singing and listening to music around the house while doing other things.

17 - I have eight tattoos on total: Flower sleeves on both arms (featuring a clock among the flowers on the left arm and a bird on the right), music player symbols on the left side of my chest, "keep going" on the right side, an anchor on my upper back, a sun and a crescent moon on my lower back, a sea monster's tentacles going through my right hip and a paper plane on my left ankle!

18 - I also have a bunch of moles. On my face, on my back and on my chest. I used to be embarrassed by them, but nowadays, not nearly as much.

19 - I have been dyeing my hair blonde ever since college. I'm actually a brunette! I like being a blondie, but I'm considering going back to my roots... My hair is screaming for help. [He goes back to being a brunette and lets his hair grow after the events of Escape]

20 - Oh yeah, speaking of college... I have a Law degree. And am working on this field. Ya-hoo... Unfortunately, I needed a more lucrative career to support my family. But my long-term life goal is to be able to quit and live from art! And I like to believe I'm almost there.

21 - I pierced my ears in college too! I usually only wear my lucky sun earrings, but if I'm feeling fancy, I can go with a larger one.

22 - I considered becoming an English major for a while, but didn't happen either.

23 - I have a weird love for plaid jackets (of any color, but especially blue ones) and grungy bracelets. If you wanna give me anything that's wearable, going with either of these is the safest bet! Can't ever have enough of these!

24 - My favorite animals are octopuses (I had an obsession with sea monsters as a kid and this love never really died) and peacocks (they're just awesome)!

25 - My lucky number is sixteen, because my birthday is on February 16th, and because if you put "Félix Victor" together, there's a sixteen in Roman numerals right in the middle: XVI!

26 - Also, I'm 30 as of 2024, and... It's terrifying, to be honest. Buuut I'll find comfort on the fact that I look like I'm 20, hehe.

27 - This one will be hard to explain, but... I really like the sun. From summer to sunflowers to sun imageries... I like the sun. And all because of my dad. It's a long history, but yeah.

28 - I have a younger sister, her name is Alice! She's in college right now, she's History major! And... She's my pride and joy.

29 - And I also have five younger cousins: Ariel, Rafael, Leon, Joyce and Mercedes! I love them all, they're like my siblings. [Joyce is actually my Sunflower listener!]

30 - I... Have a... Weird relationship with my mom. It has been getting worse these last few years... Ah, nevermind, I shouldn't have brought this up.

31 - I had three relationships in my life... Well, three and a half, if you count that high school fling, but I digress: My first boyfriend lasted, like, half a year of my freshman year in college. It was nice, we just realized quickly that neither of us were serious. And my second boyfriend... Ergh. Tristan. We began dating in my junior year, and had a pretty messy break-up right after my graduation...

32 - ...But, nearly a whole decade after that, he sent me a DM on Instagram asking me how I was, and I mistakenly thought he became a decent human being. Hell, he was the one who got me my current job. He works in the Marketing department and was kind enough to tell me that Legal was hiring. I thought that we could at least be friends again, but... He's still a pain in the ass, at the end of the day. And still wants me back. ERGH...

33 - ...But, actually, I should thank him for that. Ironically, by trying to get back with me, he got me my third and current boyfriend... And... I won't talk too much about our relationship, but... This is the happiest I've ever been with someone. I mean it.

34 - Ok, how do I say this? I... Have been told that I... Have a pretty high libido. Or, if you want to be meaner, I'm a horny bastard. I... Will not elaborate if that's true or not. [It Is Literally Canonical]

35 - But even if I WAS a horny bastard, I'm a romantic at heart, believe it or not! I like being swept off my feet! I like flowers! I like cheesy pick-up lines! I like cuddles, god, I really like cuddles... Anyway.

36 - I'm a petite lil' guy. I'm 1m69cm tall... Or 5'8ft.

37 - I have ADHD. I was diagnosed when I was 20. I've been taking meds to help with my lack of focus, and it really has been helping.

38 - I also have insomnia. It isn't as bad as it was a few years ago, but it still sucks.

39 - My favorite song of all time is "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)" by Foster The People!

40 - My favorite movie of all time... It's a tie between Footloose and Burlesque.

41 - My favorite animated movie of all time is Ponyo!

42 - My MBTI is ENFP, my Enneagram is 2w3, and I'm an Aquarius!

43 - In my opinion, my biggest strengths as a person are that I'm pretty charming, I can get along with nearly any kind of person (given enough time), and that I'm notoriously hard to piss off. As long as you're not messing with my loved ones, it takes A LOT to make me actually angry.

44 - And my weaknesses... Well, I let people get away with stepping all over me pretty frequently... And I'm very restless. And I don't mean only physically, I mean like... Mentally. I feel like I'm a shark: If I stop moving, I'll die, y’know? Oh, I've been told that I can be pretty shameless and a bit nosy... And, welp. I... Can't really deny that.

45 - I hate the cold. I hate winter. I hate snow. Fuck you, northern hemisphere.

46 - I really like sitting on the floor, ever since I was a little boy. It just... Grounds me. No pun intended.

47 - My favorite color is blue, but yellow and orange are also lovely... And I've been getting real fond of red these days. Hehe (Can't believe that it took me this long to say my favorite color, we're on fact 47th...).

48 - I'm a dog person! I never got to have one, though...

49 - I, not-so-secretly, really like cute things. I may or may not have a big octopus plushie on my bed. And may or may not love Pompompurin and Gudetama.

50 - I'm overall pretty confident on my looks... Except for my smile and my laugh. My ex-boyfriend (Tristan) once said that my smile is wide enough to be scary, and my mom said that my laugh is too loud, and I've been restraining myself from truly smiling and laughing out loud in public ever since. But I tend to let go when near people I trust.

51 (bonus!) - I have a very sensitive neck... Now, if I see it as a good thing or a bad thing... Depends on what your intentions are... If you know what I mean.

52 (bonus!)² - I'm also pretty great at typing. My words per minute game is insane, modesty aside.

53 (bonus!)³ - I... Can be a little bit jealous when I'm dating someone. I was never a pain in the ass about it, I mostly just sulk in silence, but... Yeah. It's my toxic trait.

[t3kandson]

Baby Mama

2 + 2

Word count; 6,771

Fandom; A.C.E.

Pairing; Reader X Kim Byeongkwan, Reader X Kim Sehyoon & Kim Sehyoon X Kim Byeongkwan

Characters; Kim Sehyoon, Kim Byeongkwan, Park Junhee, Lee Donghun & Kang Yuchan

Warnings; Angst, Arguing, Jealousy, Anxiety, Child Birth, Insecurity, Threesome, Sex Toys, Voyeurism, Anal, Oral, Fingering, Creampie, Protected & Unprotected Sex & Breeding Kink.

Notes; Final part of Baby Mama/Broken Mama/Bittersweet Mama.

"What do you think?" Sehyoon asked as he spoon fed you his concoction of food he made. Swirling the bland sauce he prepared around your mouth, you smiled not to hurt his feelings. "Totally yummy," you said as Byeongkwan shot his eyes to you from the dining table. One eyebrow raised as his facial expressions called you out. "Yeah it really is yummy, but do you know what will make it even better," you said as his eyes looked to you for your suggestion. "What's that?" He asked as you walked to the spice rack. "Ordering a takeaway that's what," Byeongkwan hit out as you deadpanned his way. "Don't be an ass," you hissed at him as you looked to Sehyoon, whose face was slightly pouting. "Baby, I like it," you said in a last ditch attempt to reassure him. "However, these will help," you smiled shaking the Sumic and basil in your hand. Handing them to him he eagly took them from you. "I don't know what's worse. Sehni’s attempt to cook or your attempt to pretend your that much better then him at it," Byeongkwan chuckled as you both dead panned his way. "Well go hungry then," you bit back as Sehyoon attempted to shake what your sure was an overdose of spice into his homemade curry. Dipping a finger in minutes later you tasted it, it was almost even edible. Tipping your finger back in, you pressed your finger into Sehyoon’s mouth. His tongue twirling around your digits, eyes dazzling at you with another need in them. Pressing his lips to yours he engrossed himself in letting his tongue meet yours. Like your child was struggling with your loud beating heart from his fathers antics a large kick hit your belly. "Oww," you cried as your lips left Sehyoon, hands grabbing your large bump. "What's up?" Byeongkwan shot up never getting use to your groaning at the little fella needing to use you as a boxing lesson. "Your sons being mean," you shot out to Byeongkwan who chuckled as he relaxed. "Then you two stop trying to poison Our son," he chuckled sitting down to continue on his phone.

You had thought your relationship would change but it hadn't. Byeongkwan was still your best friend, Sehyoon was still your gentle well advising good friend. But at the same time you had easily slipped into lovers. Not a single shred of jealously or awkwardness followed. However, Byeongkwan's over bearing fussing heavily remained. He quizzed the Midwife at each appointment like a overbearing paranoid father. Though it was cute to see him so intently worrying about your child. You still remained with a slightly sense of suffocation. His controlling need to throw vitamins down your throat. You would often joke that you wanted a boyfriend not a mother to him. Which earns his deadpan look and a reminder of your anaemic condition. Even more suffocating was his need to push for you to use your maternity cover. He almost threw a fit when you told him you planned to work right up to the birth. Sehyoon having to calm him down to make you both compromise. 37 weeks pregnant was the hardline Byeongkwan. You agreed on the deal that Yuchan was allowed to throw you a maternity party. You were pleasantly glad he was Sehyoon's friend when Byeongkwan quizzed him on the event itself. Forcing the baby shower at your own apartment. --------------------🔺------------------

"You look perfect," Sehyoon said as he sat on the bed watching you have your self conscious moment. "Your not fat neither," he added knowing your thought process. "You're carrying our perfect son," he said standing up to back hug you. Relaxing into his hold you closed your eyes. The noise of the living room made him just as anxious as you. Both holding each other in this moment calmed both your nerves. "What's taking you so long, most the guests are here," Byeongkwan said breaking into the room and disturbing your peaceful moment. "Excuse me, you doing shit without me," Byeongkwan scoffed as Sehyoon grabbed hold of you tighter. "We're just having five more minutes," You said as Byeongkwan rolled his eyes making his way closer to you both. "Y/N all your friends are here, including that one that Yuchan bloody invited," he said a little disappointed. "Who?" You said turning to face him. "The guy you was all over in busan,” Byeongkwan said with disdain In his voice. "What Donghun?" You said your eyes lighting up as Sehyoon dropped his arms from around you. "No need to get all excited," Byeongkwan said with a bitter tone. "Baby he's just a friend, if I was going to jump him don't you think I would have done it when I was single," you said turning to wrap your arms around him. "He's just a cherished friend who helped me when I needed someone the most," you said rubbing your nose with his. "You mean when you was ignoring us," he grumbled. "Do we really need to go over it again. I'm with you," you paused to look at Sehyoon who looked painfully in deep thought. You could see the Jealousy that they had kept from you pour from them both. "And you. Your both who I want, that I need," you said before pressing a kiss to Byeongkwan. His hands fall to your back, the warmth of his palm on your skin making your heart beat. "So let's go meet everyone," you said as Byeongkwan looked as equally hesitant to leave the bedroom.

"Finally you left your pit," Yuchan said as you emerged into the living room. Your cheeks blushing red due to many faces in your view. However, one face took you by surprise. Not Donghun who was beaming at you but Park Junhee. "Mr Park," you said making your way towards him. "Who's that?" You heard Byeongkwan ask Yuchan too far to hear the response. "What are you doing here?" You asked as he pressed a kiss to your hand. "I arrived today for a meeting tomorrow, but I hear it was your last shift today before the baby was due. So I tagged along with some of the staff," he said as his hands went to hold your bump. "They're getting big," he said with his beautiful smile. "Yeah I think like if he gets any bigger I will burst," you said chuckling. "It's a boy?" He asked as you nodded. "Do the parents have a name yet?" He asked as your heart dropped. Of course he was still under the presumption you were just the surrogate. "Actually," you said as he pushed a strand of hair that fell behind your ear. "It's ok I know it's a hard topic to talk about. Sorry I shouldn't have mentioned it," he smiled. "I'm going to miss you not being on the next project," he said looking slightly disheartened. "I won't be out long. I'm sure I will be back in time for the next one. That's if your continue to work with us," you said as his smile got even more brighter. "Y/N I like working with you, it's one of my biggest perks getting to see you," he flirted with a wink that made you feel guilty. "Can I ask something maybe too intrusive?" He asked as you nodded fearing his words. "Is one of them the biological parent?" He asked looking over your shoulder. Turning to face them you saw Sehyoon and Byeongkwan death staring you both. "Yes they are," you said turning to face him not wanting to endure the angry steamy look on their faces. "How did you guess?" You asked as he smiled at you. "Well I'm sure the smaller of the two wanted me dead since the second I touched your bump," he laughed so deep that his pointy canine showed. "Why don't you introduce us?" He asked as you looked at him with slight confusion. "Why?" You questioned panicking as he waved their way. "By the way their more then the baby's fathers," you said in haste to tell them before the feet you knew was their’s arrived. "It's ok Y/N I'm only being polite and congratulating them,” he said in attempt to reassure you. You felt Sehyoon's hands heavy on your shoulder as Junhee beamed at them. "Hi I'm Park Junhee CEO of Choice Entertainment,” he said offering his hand as Sehyoon reluctantly shook them. "Your the reason the mother of our child forgot to have food or her nutrients," Byeongkwan growled as your eyes closed with panic. "Pardon?" He asked confused as you turned to face your clearly jealous and annoyed boyfriend. "Babes please don't," you said as his eyes hardly rested on you, too busy digging holes in to Junhee. "No, I think he’s entitled to get his misinformation confused thoughts out so I can address them," Junhee said with annoyance. Your eyes searching for Yuchan for support. "You didn't tell him that his intense large meeting stopped her eating," Byeongkwan said bitterly looking at you. "Kwannie it wasn't like that," you said resting your hand on his heart as you looked to Sehyoon for support. "I think your mistaken, I even offered for Y/N and Mr Kang to enjoy lunch with me. I know how important it is to nourish yourself especially a child," Junhee said more calmly. "He's right mate, it was our corporation not Junhee's that meant she had little time to take care of herself,” Yuchan said finally arriving to your aid. Silence hit the five of you listening to the crowds of your work friends more hushed whispered to nose into the conversation. "I apologise that you have taken such a misunderstanding. But the child that Y/N carrying I would never have risked," he said more softer. "I'm sure Y/N didn't mean to let your surrogacy arrangement down neither," he added as Byeongkwan head turned to you.

"Surrogacy," he snared your way as your eyes closed. "She's our girlfriend," Sehyoon hit out, his hands falling to your waist to bring you closer. "Oh sorry I apologise, this time it's my misunderstanding," he said as his eyes refused to look at you. "To be fair Hyung you did tell everyone she was the surrogate," Yuchan said as Sehyoon gave him a bitterly look. "I think I've possibly over stayed my welcome," Junhee said rubbing his neck. "No please stay," you said stepping out of Sehyoon's grip. "It's ok Y/N were meet when your back at the office," he said reassuring you. "Congratulations," he smiled at them both. "All of you," he added as his eyes wandered over yours. With a slight humbled smile your way he made his leave. Turning to face Byeongkwan you let anger course through you. "Thanks for ruining the night with your jealousy," you snapped as Byeongkwan's eyes widened. "Both of you?" You added as your eyes took Sehyoon's with disappointment as you stormed your way back to your room.

"Are you really having a meltdown over that snobby rich punk," Byeongkwan growled following you to your bedroom. "No I’m having a meltdown because you felt the need to interrogate a very important person whom my company have a deal with. You could have got me fired!" You snapped with anger. "He wouldn't have fired you, he literally wants to live in your pants," Byeongkwan said with sass. "What the hell Kim Byeongkwan, are you this paranoid with Sehyoon?" You growled as Sehyoon entered the room with Yuchan. "Guys please don't do this?" Yuchan pleaded with you both. "Stay out of this," you both snapped towards him as he defeatedly put his hands up. "Kwannie," Sehyoon said trying to calm him down. "No I want to know what turned my best friend into some super clingy control freak paranoid asshole," you shouted wagging your fingers in his direction. "If I'm such an asshole why you here?" He snapped back as the veins popped out his neck. "I honestly don't know, because you don't give me the same respect you give him," you said looking at Sehyoon who was rubbing his head looking in pain. "Because he don't flirt with every pulse in sight," Byeongkwan growled. "Kwannie please," Sehyoon said with anguish. "Well it's true, look she basically jumped on you before this thing even happened. But then she always liked the men's attention," Byeongkwan mocking laughed as tears started to cloud your vision. "Is that what you really think of me?" You said with uneven voice as Sehyoon reached to your shoulder. "Yes," Byeongkwan said as the room fell silent. "Then why have a relationship with me then? Why add me to your relationship?" You said almost choking on your words. "God knows, must have hit my head or something," Byeongkwan mocks as you feel the tears start to flow. "Fuck you Kim Byeongkwan, Fuck you," you shout so loud your sure your body hurts from it. "Kwannie," Sehyoon shouts as he walks to his younger to shake him. It's like you can't be here with them no more. Turning on your heel you make your way out the room, Yuchan calling your name behind. "Y/N," Donghun says as he makes his way towards you. "Sorry Donghun, I need to get out of here," you say almost choking on your words. "Let's go then," he says taking your hand in his as you make it towards the apartment door. The room eyes all on you and the emotional state your in. "That's right run away with another man," you hear the snarl of Byeongkwan behind you. "Please keep walking," you cry squeezing Donghun’s hand to stop him turning back to your now former best friend. "Ok Sweetheart," he reassures you as the tears start to fall fast.

Stepping into the lift he taps the button several times to indicate the door to shut. Through the last inch you see Sehyoon’s broken face. Falling to the floor your sobs grow loud as Donghun looks to you concerned. Before Donghun can reach down towards you, the lights flicker as the lift comes to a halt. "What the fuck," Donghun grumbles as he returns to the buttons harshly pressing them. "Fuck my life," you sob as you throw your head back not caring that it impacts with the metal of the lift. "Y/N don't hurt yourself," Donghun says as you find yourself struggling for breath. Your body feeling like it’s been hit by some imaginary car. Your back throbs as you shift uncomfortably on the floor. "Why did I have to make this whole thing confusing?" You said looking up at Donghun. "Having their baby, or being with them?" He asked as he sat by your side. "I don't regret this little one, but I shouldn't have crossed the line to have a relationship with them. I've ruined my friendship with Byeongkwan," you sobbed breaking your heart that you could have lost your best friend. The warm arms of the one person who you trusted your life with. Warm arms that would hold you through every bad relationship you ever had. Just being in his presence warmed your heart that you felt safe. Now he hated you, even worse he didn't trust you. He was gone and that hurt more then anything you had ever experienced. Sobbing loudly Donghun pulled you into him, his hands resting on your cheek. "Have faith sweetheart, have faith it will all work out in the end," he said as you sobbed even harder. "I don't even know where I'm going to go?" You said lifting your head from his shoulder. "Well i can take you back to mine for a couple of days," he said as you sniffled a thanks. Even though you knew you couldn't be their forever with the baby arrival looming. However, a couple of days away from all this was just what you needed. "For tonight we can go back to my hotel room, you can have my bed, I’ll sleep on the floor," he smiled your way. "I can't sleep," , "Y/N your pregnant no way am I letting you finish that comment," he said as you shifted uncomfortable with the floor. "But first let see if we can get out of this damn thing," he said standing up as you smiled his way. After slightly panic pressing the button he started screaming for help to no avail. "Well I suppose being in here means the world is shut out," you slightly chuckled. "True, saves your phone ringing like crazy," Donghun replied leaning back against the lift. "You look so uncomfortable," Donghun said as you smiled back, holding your back to stop the twinges falling upon you. "I'm 8 months pregnant nothing about this is about comfortable settings," you said sitting up on your legs to help with the pressure on your back.

You sat talking for what almost felt like an hour rocking as the pain started to hurt through your body. Braxton hicks deciding to appear to make your misfortune even more miserable. "Do you want a back rub?" Donghun chuckled as you nodded. "Actually that would be great," you said as you shuffled forward so he could sit behind you. His hands large and heavy falling to your shoulders as he presses some pressure down on them. Leaning your neck into the warmth of him you closed your eyes feeling at peace. His thumb helping to rub circles in your body as it lowered and the ache was almost taken away. As his hand fall to your waist your stomach tensed almost borderline painful. Your body clearly uncomfortable with his hands so close to you intimately. But when your body did it again 7 minutes later that the pain took your breath away Donghun paused. "You ok Y/N?" Donghun asked sounding worried. "I actually don't know if I'm honest," you said looking at him with slight concern. "How far gone are you?" He asked like he was in slight fear of your response. "37," you reply slightly shaky. "The ache has that been like lower back pain?" He asked as you nodded. Standing up in a panic he rushed to the lift pressing heavier on the buttons. His voice bellowing loud shrieks of help. "Donghun what's up?" You stood up panicking as you saw his face pale. "Y/N I don't mean to scare you but I think you could be in labour. That's how my sister Inlaw described her earlier contractions," he said with worry. "I'm not in labour it's just braxton hicks," you chuckled at his overacting behaviour. It was like the Gods wanted to punish your naivety. A pain much more intense hit you as your sure you pissed yourself. Warm fluid leaking from you. You looked up at Donghun’s open mouth expression as embarrassment hit you. "Your water just broke," He whispered in fear as your eyes widened. "No, no they can't be. We're in a lift," you said as you held on the rails on the lift tightly. "I know," he whimpered as he turned to the door banging and screaming anything that would get anything noticed. Waddling to the door you joined him hitting on the metal panel. Byeongkwan and Sehyoon's name falling out your lips. You shouted so much your sure your voice became worn as another searing pain hit. "Please Donghun I don't want to have a baby in a lift, not without them," you cried as you fell to the floor. "It's ok sweetheart I won't let that happen," he said kneeing down to stroke your hair. Returning to the door he hammered it with full force of anger. It almost felt like another hour had passed. Donghun switching from moments of reassuring you and helping you breath through your pain and screaming and hammering the door that his hand was starting to bleed. "Y/N I think we have to start prepping that you could have your baby in here," he said cupping your face when you recovered from the contraction. "No you promised I wouldn't have him here," you cried as he swiped his thumb reassuringly against your cheek. "I don't even think they know we're here," he said closing his eyes in despair. "But I promise you i won't let anything happen to you both," he said as he kissed your forehead. "I want Kwannie," you cried not in need of your boyfriend but your best friend. "Kwannie please, please," you whimpered so loud your sure it set off your next contraction. "They're getting very close now," Donghun said looking at you worried. "Y/N, Y/N," you heard the worried voice of Byeongkwan hit the lift. "Kwannie, Kwannie were here please please come, please help," you cried so loud feeling relieved that you had finally been found. "Y/N its ok we're here, your safe, is Donghun with you," His voice echoed down towards you. "Yeah I'm here, but you need to get help. The baby’s on its way," Donghun shouted which resulted in silence. "I'm not imagining I heard him am I, please tell me I heard him," you said panicky as Donghun chuckled your way. "You did I'm sure they're getting help, just hold in their," he said pressing his forehead to yours.

The pains your sure was almost back to back. You knew time was against you, but now help was on the way Donghun was focusing on you only. Helping you to breathe through them, helping you to relax between the couple minutes between. "Donghun I feel like I need to push," you whined after the contraction finished. "It's ok it's ok, just hold in can you do that," he asked as you shook your head. "I don't think I can, oh my god their going to miss their son being born," you sobbed grabbing Donghun's jacket. "They won't, their on it just give them some time if you can, don't push, what ever you do don't push," he said as you threw your head back. "Please Kwannie, don't let me do this without you," you whimpered almost a whisper.

Like your words magically made it happen the lift started moving. Pulling you upwards, up back to the floor you left. Back to Byeongkwan and Sehyoon. You sobbed really loudly when you took Byeongkwan’s face in. Both his and Sehyoon pale as they dashed to you. "Your here thank you thank you thank you," you whimpered as you yanked Byeongkwan towards you. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry what I said," Byeongkwan said tearfully as you sobbed into his T-shirt. "Don't leave me please don't leave us," you cried as he chuckled tearfully. "Never you're my best friend," he said pressing his lips to yours. "Can I push now," you whimpered at Donghun who smirked. "You can push now," he said as Sehyoon and Byeongkwan looked at him. "She’s been holding back for a while now," he said looking at them both. "We called for help their on their way too," Sehyoon said as he looked at you with fear. "Their here, their here," Yuchan said running to the lift and then turning his back at the sight he saw. With that you knew you was safe, your baby boy was going to be ok.

The pain of giving birth was nothing compared to the pain of losing your best friend. Both him and Sehyoon supporting you as you delivered their son. Holding the tiny bundle in your arms , the second your eyes took to him you knew you had given birth to your best friend’s child. He was a double of Byeongkwan, Sehyoon chuckled almost knowingly. "He has your eyes, Kwannie," he said shaking his head. "No DNA needed," he added pressing a kiss to Byeongkwan. "He's so perfect though I wouldn't want it any other way," he added cupping his cheek. "I love all three of you so much," Sehyoon added as he kissed you too. "Don't leave me," you cried to them both. "Never, even if for a second you make me angry," Byeongkwan added. "I won't let us break our baby boy's family," he smiled as his hands stroked your sleeping newborn. ------------------🔺--------------------

Life had settled much more perfectly. Byeongkwan was no longly over protective of you. However, as a father he projected that on to his son. Every whimper he gave, he would bring his child to you to be fed. Even when it was just comfort he wanted. Your sure your son had his diaper changed almost every hour. And he couldn't bare it when he cried it was like it was hurting him too. Sehyoon on the other hand had continued to worry about you, making sure you continued your vitamins, eating well. He had decorated the baby nursery with his beautiful paintings. Even customising cute white baby grows with his art. One of his favourite pass times was hugging onto his son while you and Byeongkwan was passed out, each sharing a thigh for a pillow. Sehyoon had named your son Kim So Hwan. After shining bright smile, Because that's what his presence did to him. --------------------🔺------------------

"I want another baby," Sehyoon said after settling Sohwan. "Pardon," you choked on you tea. "Well I have a mini Kwannie and I think we should have a mini Sehyoon," he said pouting. "Wait is our son not good enough," you choked slightly hurt. "Oh god no that's not it. I want to have two baby's close in age, so Sohwan can have someone he’s close with. And as he got to be the biological dad last time I want to be the one this time," Sehyoon said sitting at the dining table. "You know we didn't randomly make Byeongkwan the dad right," you said softly. "No my swimmers was just better then yours," Byeongkwan chuckled as Sehyoon dead panned his way. "Well this time yours is getting bagged up," Sehyoon bit out as Byeongkwan really did choke on his drink, liquid splashing over the table. "I think you mean a condom baby," you said patting Sehyoon’s thighs. "Still he needs to bag it up," he smirked teasingly. "Fine, so when did you have in mind," you questioned him as he bit his lip. "Erm now," he said looking bashful his time now to be bright red. "It's only been three months," you gasped feeling slightly queasy. You hadn't let them near you since you gave birth and you felt super self conscious. "Well you've still been taking the vitamins and the books say six weeks to wait for sex. I think it's rightfully overdue,” he teased as Byeongkwan laughed even louder. "Wait baby have you been researching this conversation while settling our son down," he said walking towards him. "Maybe," Sehyoon replied looking at his feet. "I've even run you a nice bath," he said as his cheeks burned red that looked so cute. "Really, that's so sweet," you said getting up to straddle him. "Only if your up for this, don't let my fantasy push you into something your not ready for," he said looking sheepish. "No I'm ready, I'm ready to be your baby mama again," you smiled as you pressed your lips to him locking them into a passionate kiss. "So were back on the baby mama project," Byeongkwan said with excitement as you nodded. Lifting you in to the air you yelped with shock as Sehyoon took you to the bath. Both them kissing you as they stripped you naked helping you sink into the warm water. Leaving you with their plans to fuck you up once more -------------------🔺-------------------

Sehyoon wrapped the towel around you when you got out the bath. His kisses so sweetly against your skin as he helped to dry you off. "Your body’s so perfect, I can't wait to get you pregnant again," he purrs as he trails his kisses down your neck. "Can't wait for my paranoid, over protective, over bearing best friend to return," you tease as he chuckles deep in your ear. "Baby I won't let that happen, we get to right all the wrongs from last time," he said reassuringly as he suckled on your ear earning a moan. Wrapping a towel around you, he twist you to face him. "I know I don't get to say this often but I do love you Y/N. Your just as important to me as Kwannie," he said with pure devotion as he kissed your nose. "I love you too," you said pressing your lips to his. Letting them get lost against the feel of his mouth opening to let you explore. "We better go before Kwannie gets jealous he's missing out on all the fun," Sehyoon said panting as he releases himself from you.

Dragging you to the room you raise your eyebrow at the toy on the bed. "Don't look so scared baby, that's for me and you to have fun with," Byeongkwan says with a wink as he picks the glass double ended dildo up into the air. "Wait for us two to," you whisper letting a sentence go unfinished as he chuckles making his way to you. "You didn't think I would let Sehni have all the fun did you," he winked as he pulled you into him. "He gets to fill you up so I get to have this kinda fun with you," he said as he helped remove the towel from your body. "Let's put another baby in here," he says with excitement wiggling his eyebrow. "On all fours," Sehyoon said snatching the atmosphere off you towards Byeongkwan. He responded as he got onto the bed his ass wiggling in the air. "Ready for a little show first," Sehyoon teased, looking at you with full lust as you hold back a chuckle.

Sweet kisses fall upon Byeongkwan's back as he kisses along his spine. His lower back arches as Sehyoon’s kiss reaches, telling you he was indeed sensitive tonight. As he nears Byeongkwan’s plump ass his kisses become suckles as he draws blemishes around them to his lovers hiss. You feel your thighs begin to slick with your arousal. Pulling his cheeks Sehyoon laps up his younger’s Rim. Eating him out like it's a five star meal. The sounds leaving Byeongkwan’s lips go straight to your core, burning as your clit burns with need. Lubing his finger Sehyoon plunges himself into his pluckers hole. Kisses fall to his lower back as his elder pumps him. Byeongkwan’s head throws backwards as you witness him bite his lip. Your own fingers slide between your own thighs, rubbing them along your folds collecting your juices. Sehyoon emerges a second lubed digit as your own follows suit. Plunging them in your core as you start to follow Sehyoon's pace. The sounds leaving you gaining his notice as he turns to you, his eyes lit with excitement. "Oh look at our baby girl," Sehyoon coos as Byeongkwan eyes meet you. "You getting all horny watching the show baby?” Byeongkwan mocks as you hum nodding. "I need the toy now," Byeongkwan growls with need as his eyes don't take from yours. Sehyoon wastes no time lubing the glass object in his hand. With one quick thrust, he plunges it into Byeongkwan's ass. His body arching in what your sure is a mixture of pleasure and pain. Hand gripping the sheet to Sehyoon’s slightly rough thrusting of the heavy toy, you feel your own coil start to burn inside. You could cum alone watching their own little performance. Sehyoon however, noticed the fast speed of your fingers pumping your dripping cunt. "Baby on all fours too, butt to Kwannies," he says softly as you don't waste time moving towards them.

Butt in the air inches from the younger of the two. Sehyoon plunges his fingers into your heat. "Oh baby your soaking," he coos as he removes himself. Your core tightens as you hear a pop as he suckles on his slick fingers. "You definitely don't need much prepping," he adds before pressing kisses to your lower back. Stinging hitting when he bites at your ass to match Byeongkwan's marks of his claiming kink. "Hurry up," Byeongkwan says with what your sure can hear is burning impatient. You feel the other side of the dildo enter you, the glass feeling rough as your walls squeeze around the cold surface. Byeongkwan in his desperate need to rut, throws himself down his end as you feel his cheeks bounce against yours. The impact pushing the toy deep against your cervix. Grabbing the bed sheet, you cry out to the wonderful drags his rut has on your end. It starts you on your own desperate need as you rushed against him. Learning that when you throw yourself back at the same time then him. The clash of your body's pushing the toy deeper. A slight shot of pain hits against your cervix, following a pleasant wave of ecstasy. The sounds leaving Byeongkwan tells you he feels the same. Sehyoon cups your face, looking down at you. His eyes glazed over and his cock bulging with excitement from the show. Opening your mouth you initiate him to feed you. He happily realises the hint, placing his cock into your awaiting mouth. Sucking him between throwing yourself down the toy becomes the pattern you relax into. At first sloppy against Sehyoon’s cock as it kept slipping. But soon Sehyoon slips under you. His hands helping you up as your own holds the base of his cock. Deep throating him with your after affects of moans from the toy hitting your cervix. The noise and speed of rutting from Byeongkwan tells you he's not far from his high. The sounds of his deep groaning has your thighs shake, pushing you close to the edge. "This is so hot, you both look so lost and fucked up," he says with his deep voice. Just the sound of that huskiness is what it takes to push you off the edge as you spasm hard round the toy. Not helped by Byeongkwan collapsing dragging the toy which pulls you down with him convulsing. "I want to cum in you Sehni," he pants his voice strained.

Placing Sehyoon on all fours you watch the similar events of just earlier unfold. Your core reburning with need as you watched Sehyoon arch into the toy thrusting even more harsher in him. Before your finger can tend to your ache between your thighs. Byeongkwan’s dominating expression takes you in having your breath hitch. “Lay on top of him, butt in the air too. I want your Pussy where I can delve between you both," he growls with desperation. Byeongkwan wraps himself up to avoid getting you pregnant. Standing with Sehyoon beneath you you arch your body. His hands reaching behind to loop your arms around his neck. Your fingers rest alongside his throat which has him moan. As your lips impact with his neck you feel a invading thrust dragging your attention back to your best friend. A couple of thrusts torture you before he leaves you empty. The cry's from beneath you tells you he's been attacked by Byeongkwan. He continues to torture between you both. His thrusts heavy as he pushes you close to the edge, still sensitive from earlier. Followed with the pain of the emptiness as you and Sehyoon both rut as the other gets their moment. However, you have the upper hand, dragging your wet soaking cunt along the curve of Sehyoon's ass. Him pushing back towards his younger’s cock rubbing sweetly against your throbbing clit. You can feel Byeongkwan lose his nerve as his thrusts become sloppy. When he hasn't returned back to you for almost a minute, you know that he's ready to fill Sehyoon with his seed. When his condom falls to your view it confirms his desire for his own release. The feeling of the friction of Sehyoon against your clit, his sounds and Byeongkwan’s grunts and heavy panting is enough to push you over your second high. Shaking and whining around nothing Byeongkwan grunts become heavy as you hear him reach his own. "Fuck," Byeongkwan crushes struggling for breath as his lips rest along your lower back.

Getting off the bed panting as your core buns from the loss of Byeongkwan's cock. Your eyes take Sehyoon's glazed over and desperate ones. Lifting you into his hold he walks you to the sofa opposite the bed. Placing you down he gets from behind you so your literally hanging off the edge. His warm arms underneath you keeping you balanced as his lips trail along your neck. His fingers rubbing your fold he hums against your skin. As you rutt yourself into his hardened member he chuckles at your desperate need for friction. "Your so greedy, but I can't complain I love it," Sehyoon compliments as his fingers rub eights into your clit. "I need you," you say almost breathless as your body falls sensitive to his touch. "What do you need baby," he whispers into your ear that has you shiver. "I need your cock, I need you to fill me," you plead like you was cock hungry. "you want me to get you pregnant again?" He asks as his hand underneath you wanders to your breast. "Please," you whimper as he chuckles tweaking your nipple earning a slight yelp. "Ok baby, going to get you so swollen with my baby," Sehyoon says almost dreamy that your wall squeeze around nothing. Placing his member to your entrance he slowly thrusts himself into you. His slow pace almost torture as you squeeze tightly around him. "Baby are you so desperate for my cum," he grunts as his hand sprays against your belly. He starts his pace more faster as his touch on your skin light you on fire. Byeongkwan sits up gathering his energy back. The view in his eyes has his cock reharden. Crawling towards you, his eyes enjoys the view of Sehyoon’s cock disappearing into your hot dripping cunt. His hand falling to his own stiffening member. He enjoys the show he's viewing and like he needs to indulge. His lips press against your thighs hooking your leg so it rests almost behind Sehyoon's. He rubs his free hand along your clit as your pitch of cry's hit higher. "You taking our man's cock so high," he coo’s as you hum not being able to use words. "Have our baby again, like our perfect baby mama you are," he whispers as his hands glide down to Sehyoon's bulls. "Come on babies, let's go and fuck up mummy’s belly," he chuckles as Sehyoon moans from his touch on him. "Put that sweet mouth to good use," you moan out taking him by surprise. "Oh we are getting a filthy mouth aren't we," he says sliding yours and Sehyoon mixture and precum into your mouth. Your mouth suckling hard as you get lost to Sehyoon's cock. "But as your doing us a good service I will do as you request," he says slipping his fingers out to press his mouth to your clit. "Fuck," you cry as the sensation drives right to your brain making you dizzy. Byeongkwan pumps his cock with desperate need as he enjoys swirling his tongue along your clit and Sehyoon's bulls as the latter fucks you from behind. The mixture of sensation reach Sehyoon's desire too as you feel his grip around you waist tighten. The sounds from all you three a mixture of desperation, desire and need. It's Sehyoon that first falls, the sound throwing Byeongkwan into his second orgasm. But the feeling of his hot seed impregnating you, his hand helping to imagine pushes you into yours. Panting Byeongkwan leans against your stomach. Sehyoon's heavy panting in your ear has your body tingling from the over glow. "Good baby girl," he says as he kisses your belly. "I meant our new daughter by the way," Byeongkwan chuckles as you laugh rolling your eyes. “A beautiful girl with all your perfect features but her mothers eyes," he smiled at Sehyoon. ------------------🔺--------------------

Indeed that was the case, unlike a birth in a lift. You gave birth in a hospital, them both not missing a second as your daughter with Byeongkwan’s full predicted description was placed in to your arms. Kim Jia your elegant princess was the perfect addition to your family. Two years ago Byeongkwan was your best friend and Sehyoon was his lover. Now they was your lovers too and the father’s of two of your most beautiful children. Your forever happy complete family

The End.

Hope you enjoyed this Fanfiction. Again sorry it took over a year from the original first part. If you haven't checked my other A.C.E. Fanfiction please check my A.C.E. Masterlist.

Main Masterlist

[twstthing]

Minecraft! Yuu

Has complete access to the crafting table and its sheer real world ridiculousness 

it literally does not matter the size of the materials, if yuu just has them they can make it into its typical blocky appearance and size

ruggie smells profit, leona smells inflation and a scolding from falena

everything that comes out of that damned crafting table is in the form of cubes and no one really knows what to about it except accept it. 

the idea of a sphere makes yuu pass out from their code being unable to process it

MC!yuu was originally one of them blocky guys, but being snatched over to nrc caused their coding to change accordingly so now they have a proper human body with its minecrafty quirks

this especially applies to how MC!yuu eats. minecraft food don't make you poop, but twisted wonderland food does. so how does this work? to avoid all that weird stuff, it boils down to how MC!yuu “digests” things.

MC!yuu can only get nourishment from their own food that they make, any other food they eat has no effect on their stamina and fullness. so they can use the materials they gather, but it has to be prepared specifically by them if they want proper nourishment. where does the food go? to the code that makes up MC!yuu. regular food that others will eat would get deleted by the code upon “digestion”, therefore having no effect on them.

“code” is the stuff that keeps MC!yuu unique to just being another human. they can harness it and channel it into the things they are capable of doing in their minecraft world, and also have to be fueled by its own creations to keep running. minecraft is the realm where this code automatically applies to its inhabitants, and cannot be given to a being that does not have code. it doesn’t kill them or anything, but it’ll assume the form of the being’s own “code” and change accordingly 

so when trey gets a bite of MC!yuu’s furnace steak it just becomes regular steak to him which is unfortunately just a well done and unseasoned steak.

trey is. completely befuddled that everything has to be made in the furnace. apparently that’s where the magic happens to negate every seasoning that trey has tried to apply 

is also very confused how the meats MC!yuu cooks is always well done, bland, and unseasoned, but when they CRAFT mushroom stew it actually has seasoning and stuff in it. 

Upon seeing Ramshackle, their building instincts kicked in. They did not even think this level of poor building was possible, and they’ve seen a miner’s home before! that’s saying something

crowley freaked out when they pulled out a whole ass enchanted axe, freaked out more when he saw yuu swinging at the dorm, and lost it when a chunk of the house came out as a solid cube of rotted wood.

they didn't have fingers or bendable legs in the minecraft world, so you can imagine the utter confusion

the ghosts very hurriedly stopped yuu from taking down the entire ramshackle dorm for renovations (much to crowley’s dismay) but gave them permission to revamp the furniture and do as they like with the lawn

they are very happy with a farm added 

they run fast despite their legs being as stiff as a pole. deuce is a mix of horrified and mostly really impressed. how do they do it?? is running with straight legs a better way to run??? (it isnt. please put your knees to good use)

can? jump? without? bending? legs??? it’s a hell of a sight to witness. rook, especially, knows it is one hell of a sight to witness.

alchemy class with crewel is far more interesting

“oh potions? I know those!” proceeds to pull out unnervingly large spider eyes, both raw and fermented

crewel actually gets very interested in the way yuu produces these otherworldly potions. while some are far weaker in terms of time duration and effectiveness in comparison to what they already have (potion of night vision, waterbreathing, invisibility), yuu also has these potions that could literally change the world had its production not been limited to yuu (i.e. potion of regeneration II, potion of harming II, etc)

there will definitely be more upon the sheer loneliness of minecraft single player and the unanswerable world minecraft!Yuu comes from

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Hello! :D

Can you share a few details on some writing and art you're very proud of? What makes these scenes and details so cool in your opinion?

Now that you've posted your story and are right at the beginning of your fiction writing journey, what advice would you give yourself from the art side of things? (Both creative pursuits are art! And both show some vulnerability to share.)

How does writing help your art? And vice versa?

Ooo fun! Let's see... Under a cut because it's long and stuff!

Art that I'm still proud of.

Everything just went right here, I got the glow effects and the ambience exactly how I wanted it. Plus his eyes move if you move your head. Also was my first time drawing/painting Nerevarine Teldryn and I kinda got hooked on this whole design. He lives in either Netch Leather or Chitin most of the time so... Plus obsessed with his hairstyle. Obsessed!

I came up with half his backstory doing this, right down to the scarring on Teldryn's arm being Dagoth Gares' handprint. The point of contact literally being Dagoth Gares grabbing Teldryn's arm and cursing him before dying. Plus the whole "ring doesn't fit" thing. I thought that would be fun after drawing Nerevar (who is physically small but huge personality-wise).

I still love this one to bits because I fully cemented how I want Sydari to look, her jewellery, clothing colour etc. She's very into finery, so everything she wears is highly embellished. Also, eyes move if you move your head. The portrait just worked! It just works. :D

As for writing, I'm still very proud of this scene from On Apocrypha.

Teldryn was pacing outside Sydari’s room, he could barely gleam what was going on in there and silently cursed the thickness of the adobe walls. He knew Aphia was badmouthing him again, he deserved it, sure but did she have to remind him of his failures every time they met? It was getting tiresome.

The door opened and Geldis emerged, holding a bowl of stew that he must have intended for him. Teldryn walked towards him, about to ask what had transpired when Geldis lifted his hand, motioning for Teldryn to follow him into the bar.

“What did she say?” Teldryn began as Geldis scrapped the now cold stew into the food bin.

“It’s not good Teldryn,” Geldis shook his head “It’s some sort of Daedric magic that’s keeping her like that, you’re definitely gonna need Neloth.”

Teldryn let out the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, “I guess… I was hoping to avoid having to interact with him directly”.

“I know, but Aphia thinks this is Hermaeus Mora’s doing,” Geldis threw the dirty bowl into a large, waterfilled basin, “You know Neloth is the only one who can help here”.

“I know, I just…” Teldryn began before Geldis cut him off.

“You feel bad leaving her, I know” Geldis pulled a clean bowl out from behind the counter and filled it with more stew before placing it in front of Teldryn. “Eat”.

“I’m not hungry,” Teldryn mumbled, that was a lie.

“Bullshit,” Geldis dropped a clean spoon next to the stew, “you’re starving, you’re tired and you stink like rotted fish.”

“Well, you don’t have to put it that bluntly,” Teldryn sighed, absent-mindedly taking the spoon.

“Just eat the damn food Teldryn, you’re no good to anyone in this state,” Geldis said, pulling a bottle of shein out from under the bar along with two earthenware mugs.

“Did Drovas make this?” Teldryn questioned, a disgusted look on his face, “You know everything he makes is bland as all hell,” he continued eating.

“No, you just don’t have any tastebuds anymore,” Geldis smirked sliding a full mug of shein across the counter. “Not everyone wants their ass burning after their meals, ya know,” he smirked before ducking under the counter.

“His cooking tastes like ash and salt, and you know it,” Teldryn drawled, “that better be some gods damn seasoning you’re fetching”.

“You can’t come storming in here in the small hours of the morning and expect a feast you know,” Geldis smiled before sliding over a small, dark bottle to Teldryn.

“No, but you could have this added to it prior,” Teldryn uncorked the bottle and began pouring the red, oily concoction into what remained of the stew before taking another bite, “Better”.

“I still don’t get your obsession with that, the amount you put in ruins literally everything that’s good about food,” Geldis quipped, taking a drink from his own mug, “Minor remaining side effects of Blight, hey?”

“No, no, it was that crap that Fyr fed me,” Teldryn remarked, scraping the last of his stew from the bowl, “can’t taste shit unless it’s on fire”. Teldryn stood and began moving back towards Sydari’s room.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re goin’?” Geldis called out, “Leave Aphia to do her damn job!”

Teldryn muttered something unsavoury under his breath before stamping back towards the bar, “I don’t want her alone in there,” he whispered, more to himself than anyone else.

“She’s not, Aphia is there trying to do her damned job, you’re not helping her by hovering,” Geldis poured another drink for the two of them, “You have somewhere to be anyways”.

“I’d really rather not- “Teldryn began, Geldis raised his hand “Shh, you hear that?”

Teldryn paused, he could hear murmuring coming from down the hall. He almost sprinted to the source of the noise, Geldis not far behind. He arrived at the still-closed door to Sydari’s room and listened. More murmuring, two voices, hers.

“Teldryn, don’t” Geldis grabbed Teldryn’s arm right as he threw open the door.

It was fun to explore the lack of taste quirk. I'll be playing with it a lot more but I came up with that idea when writing this scene. He needed 5 seconds to calm down here. I'll add this to either the end of part 1 or the start of part 2 of Serious Mistakes, but I will probably edit what's here so that I get Geldis' voice more consistent with what's written in the chapter I already have up. It was the first thing I ever released and I still feel good about it.

I have a few hang-ups confidence-wise when releasing any creative work. I'm learning/telling myself to not give as much of a crap about the things I see as failings because honestly, it's only stuff that I see. No one else sees that. I think I'm doing ok with writing deep down, the damn thing has been rolling around in my brain for almost a year now so it's not like I'm writing without some idea of what's going on later in the story.

My advice to myself is to engage with the people who engage with you. If someone likes what you create, take the time to thank them. I reread a lot of comments because it makes me smile. It also makes me happy that people are noticing the little character quirks that I work into my art and writing. Things aren't always said directly, mostly implied. I like that people are examining my pieces enough to notice. I highly encourage people to zoom in on these arts! There are a lot of details in there.

It's nice to have some positivity after decades of negative reactions to my specific interests. Not giving a crap about the negativity is a goal! The fic deals with a lot of hard topics and I intend on exploring them fully. If it's not comfortable then that's good, trauma is not comfortable. Mine certainly isn't. Writing about it has helped me distance myself from the issues and heal slightly. I chose to do this for myself specifically, I'm writing something I want to read. And I like dark but funny shit. XD

Currently, my writing and personal art are in a bit of a circular loop, one feeds into the other. So I'm producing scenes that should appear in the fic at some point or are referenced in it in some way. Specifically these:

All kinda revolve around scenes or concepts that happen later on. The first one is after a shipwreck, the second is an observation from Teldryn's POV and the third one is after Teldryn gives Sydari a gift prior to a very boring party that he can't attend...he'd like to attend. He proclaims a thing, and it goes well before imploding due to a few documents that appear in the Thalmor's possession.

I am having a lot of fun here. It's nice to have a hyperfixation to stuff my free time into again. And I'm on holidays until August so...a lot of free time (outside of that other thing I'm working on). XD

[scenicphoenix]

Having little to no motivation most of the time sucks ass. There is many foods i enjoy, that I would enjoy eating daily, foods that I would like to try even! But my brain has decided that I am not motivated enough to cook. The amount of motivation you have today is for bland steamed vegetables, if even that, good luck. It'll be a miracle if you ever enjoy your own cooking with how much motivation your brain gives you

Most of the meals I make for myself I would never cook for someone else because they are either extremely boring or covered in enough chili powder (or whatever spicy thing I have on hand) so I actually notice that I am eating something

One of my favorite things to cook when I have the motivation is baked chicken, covered in garlic powder, onion powder or minced onion, and whatever spicy spices I have on hand until it's bright red and looks like it could kill god. It's never really spicy enough because god is still alive, and I want to get it spicy enough that it could melt me into a puddle. Good in recipes tho

[brandstifter-sys]

Stuffed

@dukexietyweek Day 6 - Food

Word Count: 1582 (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety (all others mentioned)

Rating: T

Warnings: food, sex mention, gore mention, minor injury

Remus and Virgil make a late dinner together and become boyfriends

---

Remus had a secret that no one would believe if he told them—he was a great cook, the second best in the mindscape. Sure he liked to eat literal garbage and cleaning products, but he needed nutrients too! And he liked good food, including hygiene products—why else would he make his own deodorant snack?! Almost no one else could meet his standards!

Janus always made dinner for his little monsters, and it was good and edible, but it was always just a step above mediocre. Patton could only handle some baking, breakfast food, and grilling usually. The rest of his cooking was inedible. But no one complained. Logan prioritized nutrition and efficiency over flavor, which meant everything was bland. And Roman was about as good at food preparation as a noob on Pinterest. Decoration was his specialty.

There was only one side who could outdo him when it came to standard food—the one side who could pack away an entire roast chicken, ten potatoes, and a whole head of cabbage with room for more. And Remus wanted to eat him up.

It was about 1am and Remus was happily cleaning the lovely bunch of squid he caught in the Imagination. He made sure not to grab them with his teeth this time, mainly because he was sharing this catch with Virgil, who was the one who was really preparing their meal.

Remus tossed the unnecessary bits into a bowl for later and peeked at the side next to him.

Virgil was in tears.

"Do you want to take a break, Twilight Spookle?" Remus asked, noting all the chopped vegetables–chards, garlic, and fennel. He was still chopping away at one more thing.

"I'm almost done," Virgil huffed and paused to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment.

"Man, who is cutting onions in here?" Remus jeered and took off his disposable gloves—slimy boy on slimy made things difficult. He was careful when he conjured a cotton pad on his thumb and wiped away Virgil's tears.

"Thanks," Virgil said with a chuckle, "I think you know the answer to that one. Why aren't you crying?"

"It takes more than Shrek fuel to make me cry!" Remus jeered, "And I sold my tear ducts for a little bit extra in my pa—"

"I don't want to know," Virgil scoffed and got back to work. He was so quick with that knife, Remus had to know if he could carve up something wigglier with that kind of precision and speed.

"Don't even try to make this situation wholesome and funny," Virgil said as he pushed the diced onion into a neat pile.

"You know I have to now!" Remus whined and flopped on the floor dramatically.

"I know. That's why I said it," Virgil said with a smug air reserved for snakes. At least he could make food better than a snake could!

"That's so mean!" Remus huffed and slammed his fists on his thighs, "I just want to make you smile at my antics!"

"Mission accomplished," Virgil said as he turned on the stove and added some oil to a large saute pan. Remus watched him add the onion and fennel with a slight smile.

"Yes! My devious plan is working!" Remus giggled and got up.

"We both know you don't do plans."

"Au contraire, mon cher!" Remus giggled and went to the sink to wash his hands—because he wanted to make sure Virgil would eat.

"You actually have a plan? And you're following it?" Virgil jeered and added some salt and pepper to the pan.

"Of course! And it's brilliant!" Remus laughed.

"I'm listening, as long as you cut up the anchovies."

"You trust me with a knife?"

"More than a cheese grater," Virgil said with a smirk, "I remember last time."

Remus giggled and conjured another pair of gloves. He remembered it too. It was hilarious when he grated his ass to add some garnish to his paella. He was a little bummed that Virgil didn't kiss it better, but it got him to laugh.

"It was worth it!" Remus added and opened up the can of anchovies. He got to chopping them up while he recalled Virgil patching him up and fretting over him.

It was quiet for a moment, only cut by the sound of garlic and chards hitting the pan. And then Remus added the anchovies.

"So are you telling me about your devious plan?" Virgil asked as he started grating some cheese, keeping his eye on the veggies.

"It's simple, really," Remus hummed as he grabbed a big bowl, "I make you smile, you get charmed by my personality, we bone, and then you touch my butt all the time!"

"How is that devious?" Virgil questioned and turned off the stove.

"Because I'm doing it!" Remus laughed and handed him the bowl. Virgil snickered as he took it and poured the pan contents into it.

"Not everything you do is devious," Virgil quipped and set everything down.

"What else could it be? It's me we're talking about!" Remus laughed and rolled up his sleeves.

"Horny, twisted, ridiculous—I can go on," Virgil shrugged and added the nuts, cheese, and a bowl of bread crumbs to the veggies. He slid next to Remus with the bowl and leaned into him, pretending to be tired.

"Please do, Sleeping Cutie!" Remus jeered and jammed his hands into the bowl to mix everything.

"Goofy, sweet like lead, needy, cute," Virgil said and got up to turn on the oven and oil the baking dish they were using.

"'Cute?' I'm not exactly sunshine and rainbows like Daddykins!" Remus jeered and grabbed a squid head. He happily started stuffing the mixture into it, pushing it in deeper with two fingers. He giggled to himself about how this was reminiscent of other activities.

Virgil set the pan aside and came up behind him. He wrapped his arms around Remus and rested his chin on the duke's head. Remus tilted his head back and grinned.

"You know what I consider cute, and you have the audacity to suggest I'm comparing you to Patton, you little perv?" Virgil grumbled, fighting a grin.

"You really think I'm cute?" Remus giggled, "My devious plan is working!" He was sure it was.

He finished stuffing the squid and spun out of Virgil's hold. He skipped over to the baking dish and lovingly set the first stuffed head inside.

Virgil shrugged and got to work, filling another head with a smile on his face. That smile was so beautiful, so genuine. Remus melted on the inside and skipped back over to help him.

"It's working and soon you'll fall for me and you'll want to date me and you'll want to marry me!" Remus teased and bumped him with his hip. Virgil snorted and bumped him back.

"And then sacrifice your body to Cthulhu and devour your heart and make a shrine to you with the hope of reanimating you for more fun, right?" Virgil teased and grabbed another squid head.

"Keep it up and I will be completely seduced!" Remus jeered and wiggled his eyebrows. Virgil shook his head and focused on getting their food ready.

It was comfortably quiet as they finished stuffing the squid. Virgil was the one to arrange the tops in the dish while Remus curled the tentacles to look like flowers before lovingly placing them in between the tops. And he got to add the leftover filling to the dish!

"So," Virgil said as he closed the oven, "About your devious plan."

Remus grinned and shimmied, expecting some snarky banter. Instead he got pinned to the counter.

"It's not working nearly as well as mine."

"What plan is that?" Remus asked with a smirk. Virgil cupped his chin and leaned closer.

"Make you dinner, get you to admit that you actually want me, tease you, make you my boyfriend. And maybe make you squirm while I eat the tentacles."

"Now that is a devious plan!" Remus giggled, "It deserves a little smooch from your boyfriend!"

Virgil huffed through his nose and swooped in to kiss him. It wasn't exactly long or passionate since neither one could stop smiling, but it was sweet.

"Let's clean up the kitchen so we can cuddle while I spoon feed you!" Remus hummed, in the mood for more kisses.

"Did I break you?" Virgil questioned, "You hate cleaning."

"I don't hate it, I just can't focus for long enough and I like some mess," Remus shrugged, "And I know you don't want to get caught by Mamaceita. Maybe I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend!"

Virgil hummed and reached around to grab Remus' butt. It got a happy squeak out of the duke. He wiggled his hips back into those hands further and grinned darkly.

"Does this mean after food we can—" Remus started to ask, only for Virgil to press a finger to his lips.

"If there's room for dessert, I don't mind eating some cake," Virgil teased and gave that butt a squeeze, "But first, clean up and food."

"It already smells so good—I'm not about to argue with you on that!" Remus giggled and cleaned up the kitchen with a snap, "But look it's clean, we have time, and I need to cuddle my boyfriend with my tentacles!"

"You know I bite, right?"

"Get on the counter and snuggle your appetizer!" Remus jeered. Virgil was more than happy to do just that until it was time to eat.