#if i can only draw one thing this month i'd like it to be tim or kon but

[theduckboy]

hi happy pride 🏳️‍🌈 (dc fan pride month starts a day early because we are cool 👍). i look away for like a month and the miguel o'hara spider-man tag turns into 90% reader fanfiction posts. What is happening dude

[hailsatanacab]

I'll ask after that secret number 8!

I only remembered secret number 8 because I saw your wip here! I'd started this one based on the same prompt, then lost said prompt and stopped working on it 😅

Instead of a snippet, I'm just dropping it all here - maybe that way I'll feel inspired to finish it?

———

It’s a full house for dinner tonight and, really, that should have tipped him off.

Bruce sits at the head of the table, smiling softly as he watches over everyone’s antics. Damian is regaling Dick with everything they saw at the zoo that day (Danny had been so happy to see Delilah the purpleback gorilla again, and her new little additions to the troupe, too!) and how well they are implementing the grant the Wayne Foundation had gifted them. Tim, Steph, Cass, and Duke are all engaged in a thumb-war tournament which Danny has no interest in participating in. It just wouldn’t be fair on them.

Danny loves that look. The one where Bruce’s eyes crinkle when he thinks none of the kids can see him. It oozes love and it makes Danny’s heart, his core, ache. 

It’s been a little over a year since Alfred found him on the street and managed to wrangle him back to the manor to stay—even after the whole biting thing when he realised how rich they were. 

A little over a year here and Danny’s starting to feel like family.

Starting to feel like he might, just maybe, like to make it official.

“Danny,” Bruce says, drawing everyone’s attention. Danny starts at his name, but Bruce’s voice is warm and calm, and his shoulders lose their tension almost immediately. “Danny, I have something I would like to tell you.”

“Uhhh…” is all Danny can croak out, eyes flicking back and forth between Bruce and the rest of them. Smooth. Looking good, Danny.

Except… they’re all happy. All smiles, all relaxed body language, all radiating calm and love and acceptance. Well, not Damian—his face is as thunderous as it always is—which at least means it’s nothing too out of the ordinary.

“Danny, first of all, I just want to impress upon you that this is in no way something you have to do. You are under no obligation to join us and, no matter what, you shall always be welcome with us in the manor.”

Wait, what? Danny squints at Bruce, trying to parse exactly what he’s saying… Is he—is this them asking to adopt him? Do they want to make it official, too? 

It’s been a little over a year and of course Danny has imagined calling Bruce ‘Dad’. Of course he’s imagined being part of the family, of course he wants to make it official!

He can’t help the beaming grin or the bright and bubbling “Yes!” already waiting on his lips. All Bruce has to do is ask, all Danny needs to hear is—

“I’m Batman.”

The smile freezes on Danny’s face.

His lungs stop working, his heart stops working, he stops working, he just—

“And I’m Nightwing,” Dick smiles, breaking the awkward silence. 

Danny’s eyes snap to him, and then down to Tim when he admits to being Red Robin. Duke is Signal, Steph is Spoiler. Damian begrudgingly tells him he’s Robin, but Danny can barely hear it over the ringing in his ears.

“I’m Black Bat.” Cass cocks her head, almost looking concerned. It always felt like she understood him the most. Whenever he was feeling low, too in his memories, or stewing after a nightmare, she was always there, ready to card her fingers through his hair and never mention his tears. It makes his heart ache to think of it now. “It’s okay, Danny.”

It’s meant to be reassuring, but how—how can it be okay? How? 

Danny’s spent a little over a year with them. A little over a year with Batman. 

Batman, who works with the Justice League, who works with…

A little over a year. 

Just under 16 months since he escaped.

“Danny? Are you alright?” Bruce asks

Finally, his lungs kickstart and suck in a shuddering breath, only for everyone to drop their smiles.

Didn’t take them long, did it? Now that their ruse is up, there’s no kindness in their eyes, they’re just… cold, calculating. Evaluating. 

“Why?” Danny gasps, his fingers tingling, his heart in his throat.

Just under 16 months since he—has he escaped? Or was this just another one of their experiments?

"I... I trusted you, why—" Danny chokes back a sob, gritting his teeth as his shoulders shake. Why? Why would they do this? "I was happy here, with you. I thought... Weren't you happy?"

"Danny..." Bruce is looking at him, eyes narrow and eyebrows pinched, in some cruel facsimile of confused concern and all Danny can think is how much of an actor he is. How well he can play the part of a doting father. How much he made him want that.

"I don't understand, why..." 

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you before, I can imagine that it comes as a shock. We shouldn't have lied to you, Danny, but—"

"Stop it!" Danny slams his hands down on the table and pushes himself up on wobbly legs. Even standing, he feels so small. Smaller than Bruce, than all of his adopted siblings. They crowd above him when they all stand, too. "Just stop it! Why are you doing this, why are you still pretending? Stop it!"

It was easier, with Danny's biological parents. The knowledge that they'd do anything to get him on a lab table, to open him up and see what makes him tick, to rip him apart molecule by molecule, had always been there. He knew they hated ghosts. He knew they hated Phantom. He knew they hated him. It was easier because it was something he'd known all his life. When he died, when he became a ghost, he knew what to expect from them. It hurt, of course it did.

But it was easier than this.

"Danny, I'm going to need you to take a deep breath. You're having a panic attack and you need to breathe."

"Breathe?" Danny laughs, the sound harsh and choking, too high pitched in his hysteria. "You're joking, right? Or is this just more of the—the experiment?"

"Danny, please, we don't know what you're talking about, you—"

"You don't know? You're Batman! You work with the Justice League, you work with—" His words choke off as his stomach churns, bile rising in his throat. His whole body itches, screaming at him to leave, he can't go back, he can't, he can't, he can't!

Bruce takes a hesitant step forward and Danny scrambles back, his feet catching on the chair behind him and sending him careening to the floor. Where are the agents? Why aren't they swarming in, ready to apprehend him, strap him back on the table, carve him from the inside out.

"Please, Danny, calm down. We don't—"

Danny stops listening. His back hits the wall and he pulls his knees into his chest, his shoulders dipping down as he begins to sob. His heart throbs inside his throat, too painful to swallow around. Tears fall hot and heavy on his face.

Sure, he could run. He could phase out through the wall and he could be out of Gotham in a couple of hours. He's escaped the GIW once, he can do it again.

But that was before Batman knew who he was. Before he had the World's Greatest Detective on his tail.

Before he... 

He really thought this would be different, you know?

He wanted to make it official.

"Why did... Why were you so nice to me? Why did you make me like you? I really—I really liked you. I-I thought we could be a family."

"Danny, we are a—"

"Don't lie to me!" Danny snaps, but the force of his anger leeches all the fight from him, and suddenly all that's left is a bone-weary tiredness. There’s a lump in his throat that hurts. There’s a line down his chest that burns. "I don't care. I don't care anymore, I don't. Just... don't make me go back there. Please." 

Is it futile? He thought he knew how the GIW operated by now, the depths that they would go to achieve their results, but this... this was a whole new level of pain that Danny thought he had left behind him in Amity.

"We're not going to make you go anywhere, Danny, you're safe here, I promise."

"Safe? Safe? You must have—" he takes a deep breath, tries to stop the quivering of his voice. It’s all starting to make sense, now.  "The reason you're telling me who you are is because you must have told them everything already. I know the Justice League—I know you're working with them, which means the ex-experiment is over now, and they're coming to take me back. And I can't go back."

"Danny—"

"I can’t!” Danny glares at Bruce with all the rage he can, fingernails digging into his skin. “I’m not going back!"

"That's right, you're not going back, Danny. I won't let that happen." Bruce crouches down in front of Danny, his hands open and raised as if he's trying to say he's not a threat. "I don't know who you're talking about, and I'm sorry about that, but I can promise you that you’re not going back there. We will keep you safe."

Danny pulls himself closer, tucks himself further into the wall, eyes flickering all across the room waiting for that tell-tale flash of white as the agents start to swarm.

He should take his chances now and run, he should go, he needs to go!

The rest of them, his brothers and sisters of a little over a year, are spread out, giving him and Bruce some space. The same concern colours all of their faces. Why are they still pretending?

Steph is chewing on her thumb. 

Danny liked Steph and her brash confidence, her jokes. She's been promising to paint his nails for months now, they've just never found the time. He was going to go for green and black, or maybe a galaxy theme, depending on what she felt comfortable doing.

He likes them all.

"You were supposed to be my family." His mouth turns down at the corners and his voice shakes like a child. "You were supposed to—why? Why would you—I don't understand why you would make me like you..."

"This isn't an experiment, Danny," Bruce's voice is steady, soothing. "I promise."

"But you work with them and—"

"Who do I work with?"

"The Justice League."

"Yes, I do, but we—"

"And the Justice League works with them. The GIW." Danny trembles with the name, clutching tightly onto his hoodie. "I'm not going back there, Bruce."

Danny doesn't miss Bruce's look over his shoulder, nor Tim's nod in return. Tim turns slightly to the side to hide his movements, but Danny bets he has his phone in his hand, probably letting them know they can take him now. Guess this is it, then. They'll be here soon, and he'll be gone.

"Kill me."

"Danny? What do—"

"If you ever had any kindness for me, if you ever cared, kill me. Please, Bruce. I can't do it again."

"Danny..."

"End me now. Take my core out and break it, please, before they get here."

[camsthisky]

I am so excited for this! From the loyal/protective prompt list, I'd love "get your hands off my __brother__". Up to you which one :)

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I said no!”

A scoff from behind Dick. “And I said, yes, you imbecile.”

There’s a sound of inarticulate frustration, also from behind him. Dick waits two beats, three. A fourth. And then–

“Fine,” Tim mutters. “Fine, but I’m not paying for any of it.”

Dick can practically hear the triumphant smirk on Damian’s face, and as entertaining as the argument between his two brothers has been, Dick is also still trying to teach Damian that he can’t demand things, so–

“Tim isn’t going to set up your studio for you,” Dick says, turning away from the selection of tablets to face the two. He turns just in time to see Tim’s eyebrows go up in surprise and Damian’s sink down as he scowls. Dick raises one of his own eyebrows in challenge as he stares Damian down. “At least, not until you ask him politely.”

Damian’s scowl deepens, but he doesn’t immediately snap in anger, and Dick bites back a smile when Damian thinks it over a moment before sighing.

“Would you help me set up my art studio, Timothy?” Damian murmurs, not quite looking at Tim.

Dick takes it as a win. It’s progress. A thousand and twelve steps further than a few years ago when Damian’s pride was keeping him from any sort of kindness or politeness at all. And he’d even used Tim’s first name.

Now if only Dick could get Damian to treat the staff at Gotham Academy with the same sort of politeness. It’d probably mean a lot less frustrated calls from Bruce asking Dick to pick Damian up from school when he or Alfred are busy. And considering Dick gets a call at least once or twice a month, Dick thinks Damian’s probably been wreaking havoc on the place.

In front of Damian, Tim’s eyebrows have basically flown off his forehead. He opens and closes his mouth with wide eyes for a few moments, before he says, “Uh. Yeah. Sure. No problem.”

Damian nods, spinning on his heel and stalking towards a fancy drawing tablet that’s at least fifteen feet away from the awkward turn the conversation has taken.

Tim stares after Damian before turning towards Dick. “We’re not in a simulation, right?”

Dick snorts, curling an arm around Tim and bringing him to Dick’s side. “Nope. Damian’s been trying harder, lately.”

“Wow,” says Tim. “Yeah. He called me by my first name.”

Dick shrugs. “He calls me by my first name.”

Tim pulls a face and mutters, “Yeah, but he likes you. You and Cassandra are the only ones he ever calls by their first names. The rest of us are distanced to surname only.”

“He’s not as bad as you guys make him out to be,” Dick says quietly, smile falling to something more melancholy. “He’s just got a lot of the al Ghul brainwashing still in his head, and it takes time to unlearn that sort of stuff.”

Tim sighs. “I guess.”

“Well,” Dick says, pushing Tim towards Damian, “why don’t you see if you can help Damian pick out the best tablet for what he needs before we head over to the monitors. I’ll go grab the USB hub we were looking at earlier and meet you back here in a minute.”

“Dick,” Tim whines. “Seriously?”

Snickering, Dick shoos Tim towards where Damian had disappeared to. “Go bond with your little brother.”

Tim rolls his eyes. “Fine.”

Dick is still laughing to himself under his breath when he reaches the aisle he needs. Tim and Damian are both such teenagers that Dick sometimes can’t help but mess with them.

“Hi. Can you help me?”

Dick looks up from his perusing, meeting the dark-eyed gaze of a woman he has never seen before. He’d noticed she was there, of course. Bruce would have thrown him into training a hundred times over again if he’d let someone sneak up on him in an electronics store. He just hadn’t thought that she was going to start talking to him.

Still, Dick takes barely a second to recover from his surprise and throws her a small smile as he grabs the correct USB hub. “Hello. I know I look like I know what I’m doing, but I can promise you that I don’t work here.”

“No, I know,” the woman says. She tucks a lock of brunette hair behind her ear. “It’s just, you’re Richard Grayson, right?”

Dick is too good a performer to let his smile slip even an inch, but he instantly puts up his guard. He says, “Guilty as charged.”

The woman smiles, almost looking relieved. She reaches over to touch his shoulder, and Dick tries his best not to stiffen. He’s not sure he succeeds on that front.

Luckily for him–

“Get your hands off my brother, you vile wench!”

Well, Dick isn’t going to try to stop a train that’s already been derailed. Best to leave it and go over the social niceties with Damian later.

The woman’s eyebrows scrunch up in disdain as she turns her head to the beginning of the aisle. “Excuse me?!”

Dick coughs lightly, stepping back and away from the woman just as Tim and Damian both approach. Damian slides in between Dick and the woman, and Tim stays at Dick’s side. Damian looks furious, but Tim just looks sort of concerned.

“I said unhand him,” Damian sneers. “Or are you too incompetent to–”

“Damian,” Dick says, cutting off his little brother’s rant before he can really get going. He can still mitigate some of the damage, even if the train itself is a lost cause. “She’s not even touching me anymore. It’s fine.”

Damian’s green gaze whirls to meet Dick’s bright blue head on. There’s a fury there that Dick doesn’t quite understand. Luckily, after only a few seconds of silent cues, Damian backs off with a scoff.

Tim, on the other hand, completely ignores the woman. “Hey, Dick. We found the tablet that Damian needs. We came to get you so we can grab the monitors and go.”

Dick blinks. “Okay?”

“I…have to go,” the woman says, eyes darting between the three brothers. And before Dick can say anything else, the woman is gone.

Befuddled, Dick looks at his two brothers. “What the heck was that?”

“She’s been watching you from the moment we walked into the store,” Damian huffs, looking slightly more settled now that it’s just the three of them again. “And when Timothy informed me that you’d gone off by yourself, I staged a rescue before she could ensnare you in whatever nefarious plans she had for you.”

“I think she was just trying to hit on me, Dami,” Dick confesses.

“Probably,” Tim says mildly. “Still weird and better safe than sorry, right?”

Damian nods. “Timothy is correct.”

Dick sighs in exasperation. “Right. Sure, okay. If deflecting any sort of romance with strangers is what gets you two to agree, then by all means, continue to sabotage my dating life.”

“You didn’t even want to go out with her,” Tim snorts. “It was written all over your face.”

“Not the point.”

Tim rolls his eyes and starts walking towards the back of the store. “Whatever. Let’s just go get the monitors for the gremlin.”

“I am not a gremlin, Drake!”

Dick grins and shakes his head. Teenagers.

[tvfangirladdict]

So everyone else seems to be bolstered in their Buddie hope after this episode, but am I the only one that's getting a sinking feeling instead?

On one hand, yes, the repressed catholic guilt for Eddie makes me optimistic--and was I understanding Maddie's hint about Eddie correctly or was I crazy?--but everything else read to me as ABC beginning to--maybe not solidfy Buck and Eddie as only friends, but at least pump the breaks on Buddie.

I get letting them grow and learn more about themselves in separate relationships first, but Eddie's genuine, physical attraction to Marisol? Going back to the beginning of their relationship so ABC can undo how Fox just kind of through them together like usual right before the season finale and they can actually show the development of this relationship that's existed for months now but we weren't able to see? Paralleling this with Buck and Tommy who want to get to know each other better? Buck and Eddie's shorter, more bro-style interactions vs the softer more intimate interactions we were used to seeing in Buck's kitchen? The hug and "call Tommy," was all just so quick and platonic😭.

I'm not saying they'll never go there, I'm just saying I'm not so confident that if it does happen, we'll see it confirmed in the next few years.

Anyone else know the story of Benson and Stabler on SVU? They were always partners/ best friends/ride-or-dies/more-than-friends/soulmates, but Stabler was Catholic, married and had up to 5 kids. Everyone and their mother knew those two were meant to be, but their timing just never worked out. In their first 12 years before Chris(Stabler) left the show though, they hugged like a total of 3 times, never once said "I love you" or ever crossed the line physically. Okay? You with me? And yet, there was so much chemistry and love shown between them, that they were undeniable.

Cut forward 10 years, and Stabler gets his own spinoff and is brought back into Benson's life. 22 YEARS in the making. In his first season back, his wife was killed, he told her "I love you" and this giant, unspoken thing between them was actually fucking acknowledged by their characters in the show. In one season, they advanced these twos' personal relationship more than the previous 22 years put together.

But then.... nothing happened. I mean small things here and there between the two shows, an almost kiss, them admitting they want each other. But still, three years later and they still aren't together. And now we're at 25 years, for what has to be the slowest slow burn in the history of like, everything.

All this to say, I'm really afraid that ABC and Tim Minear are only coming out swinging so hard in an effort to hook existing fans and gain their loyalty. But then, it's going to go back to doing what any other major television company does, and it's going to fall back into drawing it out as long as possible. Because yeah, the show is on season 7, but if ABC wants it to go another 7 for themselves, they can't just rush and give us what we want in the first one or two seasons, that wouldn't be a good financial strategy for them. I really don't think they'll do it that way.

ABC gave us bi Buck and they can't ever take that away, but will they trap us with that bait, and be content with making everyone halfway happy to avoid taking too many more risks so soon or ever? Yeah, I really think they're not above that.

I feel like we're already falling back into the patented responses from cast and crew that "you never know" or "anything can happen" or "nothing is set in stone", so that's not making me feel great.

Don't get me wrong, I would be so happy to admit I'm wrong if it doesn't go the way I think it will, but I don't think I can live episode-to-episode for another 7 years living off scraps of Buddie interactions and subtext😭😭 I'd rather they just go the "brother" route so I can get closure and focus on fanfiction instead. The will they/won't they and overanalyslzing every single second looking for a hint of something sexual or romantic between them will be the death of me, because at the end of the day, it'll mean whatever ABC will want it to mean😭

Most of yall probably won't even read this, but I had to get my anxiety out, lmao😅

[panelshowsource]

sorry this is so long — i let my inbox back up a little but also some of these are so thoughtful and i hate not responding thoughtfully!

remember to block the tag 'long post' if you hate seeing long posts :')

first of all aww anon thank you so much and second of all you don't watch taskmaster? how can you stand following my blog if you don't? hahahahah especially during taskmaster season i feel so bad the blog ends up being like 70% tm even though if i could have it may way i'd never gif new content and just gif totally random old content like always hehehehehe but it's cute to me how many hog fans are in my inbox these days! i'll try and gif it more for you guys :)

and you should watch taskmaster!!! and come back and tell me what you think!! start with s1!!! it's on the masterpost linked in my bio!

idk anon you'd have to ask them that but generally they would consider themselves to be irish-american; i wasn't trying to make a statement about that when i said that i think new yorkers understand a person like ed, though i think it's far to say that even diasporic communities will retain (at least) a handful of characteristics and nuances from their homelands

yesssss we all love ed! i think a lot of us know him from mock the week and his bffship with dara (i have some of their travel buddy series on my non-panel show masterpost!), but of course he's also an accomplished standup!

actually, just last month in an exclusive with metro he said this:

It seems remarkable Ed hasn’t appeared yet in its 16 seasons. ‘They haven’t asked. If they had, I would,’ Ed said, with a dash of longing. ‘There’s really only one slot per series of someone answering my description,’ he mused. ‘We’re kind of the most overprescribed demographic in the industry. There’s no shortage of people who look and sound like me that are ahead of me in the queue for that slot.’ Even so, it would have been nice… Greg? Are you listening?

(ps. that article claiming 8 out of 10 cats is cancelled... 👀 don't get me wrong, i know it's been a couple years since it's been on, but afaik no cancellation was ever announced 👀)

i know a lot of people are very hung up on the fact david mitchell said he wouldn't do taskmaster — and i'm a sure there are a handful of others who either wouldn't or couldn't when they were asked (jack dee had a scheduling conflict back in the day, right? and alex still desperately wants him?) — but one thing that has been consistently reinforced for years, and especially since taskmaster moved to channel 4, is it is far and away the biggest, most in-demand opportunity amongst comedians and light entertainers (— on network television; of course, if you're standup, your own standup special on channel 4, netflix, whatever has gotta be number one, but i disgress). taskmaster is huge: everyone talks about how comedians play 100-seat rooms, go on taskmaster, and then BOOM sell out massive tours. the show can really change your life, so there is hardly a comedian who wouldn't go on if given the chance — especially someone like ed, who i had mentioned a couple months ago being of the jenny eclair variety (an opportunist; professional jealousy ain't no stranger). i know he's waiting for that damn phone to ring!

and i think he makes an incredible point that not many series are gunning for more than one straight white middle-aged man (though it's happened before, of course). actually, i was just thinking about how that role — the white, middle-aged, experienced senior comedian — is chosen; in almost every single case, it's a very famous comedian who will draw viewers and reinforce legitimacy (frank skinner, al murray, hugh dennis, bob mortimer, rhod gilbert, david baddiel, richard herring, lee mack, alan davies, dara, you get the point) or it's a comedian who alex, whether he's friends with them or not, really really likes (tim key, dave gorman, mark watson, tim vine, mike wozniak, i know they're well-known but even ardal o'hanlon and julian clary who alex personally loves). does ed fall into either of those categories? super famous ratings draw or one of alex's friends/comedy heroes? frankly...i'm not sure...and i think that may be what's keeping him mid-way down the list...

still, very cute of the journalist from this article to be gunning so hard for him to be on the show! i have to admit, i know it might seem like i'm biased because i like him, but i really really think he would be really really good on the show. imo — and it's just imo, people will disagree — the most important aspect of the best series of taskmaster is the banter. it's people who speak up, who fight, who tease, who want to win, who want laughs, who play off the audience, who make quick friends, who talk to greg, who talk to alex. ed TALKS. ed wants screen time. ed wants to fuck around. ed wants to win. so i think he would really take advantage of the format and i'd love to see it!

you are allowed to say i told you so! it was amazing! thanks for reading my bullshit, i tried to take it really seriously so i could just link to it any time someone asks me if i've seen it hahahah who was your fave contestant?

i could write a really long response to this because it's something i have — or could find lmfao — a lot to say about, but knowing this post is already gonna be long (hahah i hate myself) lemme try to boil my brain down

1) i covered my personal opinion of what makes the strongest series of taskmaster in my (very long) recent taskmaster nz s2 post; 2) recency bias — it's in the name! people are biased because it's recent [shrug]; 3) A LOT of people have not seen every series of taskmaster (gasp! i know...) so they won't have the full taskmaster uk canon in mind when they're making such claims; 4) there is a strong divergence between the comedy nerds who watch taskmaster for comedy and the light entertainment viewers who watch taskmaster for general pleasantness, and you gotta consider who you're talking to when you're listening to someone's opinion; 5) i think there's a very long convo you could have about the reticence of a huge faction of taskmaster fans to criticise the show/tasks/contestants/alex — which is why a lot of people like it and its community, because it's often an echo chamber of positivity — but maybe we won't have that convo now haha

^ me being concise!! wow never thought we'd see that day

yes totally anon! i'll make massive gifsets of all of them when the season ends, if that works? :)

wow interesting question! i know a few people who watch taskmaster on and off, and i definitely know people like you who enjoy the odd clip (why is it always bob mortimer on wilty lmfaooo), but otherwise i wouldn't say i spend too much time convincing people to watch stuff. wilty and taskmaster are pretty accessible, but a lot of panel shows are about the uk news, uk current events, have uk c-list celeb guests, etc, and i don't think people would be interested. plus, i have you guys!!! (i don't really have internet friends besides posting here and interacting with you guys :'))

not that long ago, i was at a dinner party and someone said, "have you seen that show taskmaster?" and ... do you know what it's like for me!!! ... i had to take a deep breath and say inside my head 'sarah be cool' and i finally went, "i have! fun show haha" and not start TWITCHING ... they were telling the people around us a little bit about it and getting some of the details wrong and i just sat there nodding like :) and didn't correct them bc being a know-it-all isn't cool and i didn't want to risk it 💀

it's too bad we don't have more of a light entertainment culture here, especially a comedian-driven one :(

(so random but speaking of light entertainment has anyone else been seeing michael barrymore all over tiktok? those kids say the funniest things clips are my wholeeeee fyp)

hahaha yesss we do know suzi around here!! though she's not been on many panel shows recently-ish so i probably haven't posted her in a while. if your fave taskmaster contestants are wide-eyed, smiley people who radiate optimism and go-get-em attitudes then suzi would definitely be the one!

did i mention rick edwards or is this just your sly way of bringing up a sexy man? ...i see you anon😏 he has the face of someone who should have been working on that big wall in games of thrones you know the one where jon tory scum snow ended up? that's a specific compliment but just trust me it's complimentary

i'm sorry about your heartbreak :( it's like me with whites, we've all got that one show :(

yesss it so is! <3

is it weird to imagine joe and mike woz in the same room or is that just me...

—

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[ishipgenfics]

Across the Street Liveblog

I mean, avoiding alcoholism is generally good.

... yeah. He's writing. I do that. That's not that weird Statement Lady.

YEAH. He's writing his fantasy novel. Don't be so judgy.

Y-you're just going to stare at him, huh? I feel bad this Graham guy, he's just trying to stare out the window in peace and this creepy lady keeps staring at him and asking him for notes that he doesn't have.

Is he drawing on it? I'd do that sometimes when I was bored as a kid, just fog up my windows and draw patterns.

God, I love Jon's voice. Maybe not quite as much as Cecil's, but it's still very nice.

That one's fair, honestly.

Huh? Okay, this is starting to get creepy. I like this.

YOU THINK?

That's true. Head wounds bleed a LOT.

... what? That's kind of a bad idea. I mean, he seems nice, I don't think he's gonna hurt you, I just feel like going to his house is maaaaybe a bad idea with what's been going on and the fact that you are on a horror podcast.

MOOD. I like this Graham guy and his many notebooks.

MOOD.

You're rather rude, Statement Lady. Graham is trying to tell you about his passions, the least you could do is fake some interest.

DON'T GO TO SLEEP WITH A CONCUSSION. THAT IS LIKE RULE NUMBER 1. GOD!

... why are you just watching this guy read. Creepy, Statement Lady. Creepy.

Because it is.

Stop saying, "In my defense." You're a stalker. Get over it.

Okay yeah that is weird. I was on Graham's side for most of this, but that's weird.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUMPY OKAY. God, the eating notebooks thing is weird, but I really don't like Statement Lady.

You know this guy way too well for having only talked to him once. Y'know why? Because you're STALKING HIM.

God, this Graham guy is such a mood. He probably just doesn't know how to cook, Statement Lady.

Well that's something at least. I guess.

You're really obsessed with the not knowing where you live thing, huh.

Ooooh. Are you gonna tell us what it is? Of course you are, this is the important bit. Let's go on!

Graham's window is weird, huh? First window boxes, now pipes? What's gonna appear there next, a bird made out of all the notebooks he's ever eaten?

This is a kind of unclear description Statement Lady. You've been watching his flat for months, you should be better than this.

OH THE WINDOW CLOSED. OKAY THEN.

Who… who is is it then? Why is he in Graham’s house?

Oh no one else can tell. Jesus that’s a mindfuck.

MOVE. RUN AWAY.

Noooo the notebooks!

Yes. Good. Move.

Again? Tim whoever you are, I love you.

Interesting…

[itsoneofthemuses]

Something I'd like to see in season four, is Lucy tell Tim she still has a dance saved for him, even tho we likely won't get it 🤡

I put the answer after a cut because, well, spoilers and speculative fic ahead... Thanks for the ask!

It takes a lot of work. Like, a lot, it's frantic and scary and Lucy spares a moment to wonder if this is what it was like when she was abducted. She thinks it might be worse because she hadn't been around long enough, then, to be integral to so many lives. And she hadn't been about to start a new life, literally and figuratively, with the man she loved.

But they save Angela, just like Lucy was saved, even if they had to go to some dark places to do it. Wesley makes some calls that she consciously chooses to walk away from so she doesn't overhear anything illegal. She spends more time than she expected trying to comfort Jackson and talk Tim from going off the deep end. Her and Harper basically hold it down for everyone, but she was glad to do it and she'd do it again in a heartbeat if she had to. Taking care of her people is something she could never regret.

The 48 hours it took to find her were terrifying and while she wasn't actually assaulted, being held hostage and kept in a cold concrete cell, taunted mercilessly by La Fiera, and treated like garbage hadn't exactly been easy on her. Despite her blood pressure and blood sugar and hormones being all fucked up, Lucy will hold that moment where they made eye contact as Lucy had her weapon trained on La Fiera as she held a gun on Angela close to her heart. She waits for the signal which, as it turns out, is Angela head butting La Fiera. She takes her shot. She doesn't miss. The rest of the team floods in and Lucy knows she should probably be secluding herself until she can be interviewed but nothing is going to stop her from hugging Angela first.

Angela, to the surprise of no one, ends up on bedrest after she comes home. Wesley and Angela sign a piece of paper at the courthouse with only immediate family present but they promise there'll be a proper wedding after the baby is born. Mrs. Evers won't stand for anything less.

And it happens, finally, 6 months later.

Lucy's dress is a plum colour this time. She has a nude lip and a smokey eye and she feels like she could take on the world. Tim, refusing to wear a tux this time around, is in a blue suit that looks like it was tailored to perfection. His tie matches her dress and Lucy is pleased beyond reason. Just like last time, she makes her excuses to Smitty and Nolan mid-conversation, as soon as she spots him and finds herself pulled toward him as if he's her true north.

"Lucy." He keeps his hands in his pockets and it's deja vu as he gives her a once over that makes her feel warm and sends the butterflies in her stomach tumbling. This time, however, she steps into his space without hesitation and lifts a hand to poke at his tie.

"Tim. Nice tie you've got there." His smile is more of a smirk but it does things to her such that she has no complaints. His hands are on her hips then, drawing her against him, and she clutches at his tie then, letting his body be her anchor.

"Found it lying at the back of the closet." His mouth shrugs all casual like but his eyes are sparkling and Lucy thinks if she doesn't kiss him right now, she might scream. She tugs on his tie and stretches up, too far to reach even in her heels, and he smiles as he presses his lips to hers. He draws back after a scant second, refusing to kiss her properly, and Lucy might be an adult, but she pouts anyway. "You're the one who told me I wasn't allowed to mess up your makeup. Not yet, anyway." She feels her cheeks heat and and wraps a hand around his jaw, uses his shoulder for leverage with the other, to push up and press a kiss to chin before she sighs and backs away. She hears noise near the entrance of the vineyard and cuts her eyes over to see an influx of people arriving. That's probably the cue for both of them, if she's being honest.

"You're right. I should go... You probably should too." He nods, his smile soft now, as he stares down at her. His hands trail up and down her waist before squeezing her hips one last time and he takes a step back, letting her go. She's glad he did because she thinks she might have abandoned he duties if he hadn't and stolen him away to do any number of things that could get them charged for public indecency on a good day, let alone at a wedding full of cops. At least they could probably find a halfway decent lawyer amongst the guests if needed. She reluctantly backs away and finally turns around but she can't quite stop herself from turning back to look at him one last time and she finds him still staring after her.

"Hey Bradford?" He raises his eyebrows in question and she keeps her face serious, but it's impossible not to let her smile shine through just a little, not when she's bubbling over with love and joy today. "I've been saving you a dance for six months. Make sure you keep some space on your dance card for me." His eyes crinkle in that way where he's amused but refuses to laugh and Lucy knows she's a lost cause. She's in love with this man whole heartedly and it's not even a little bit scary to her.

"For you, always."

[bearly-writing]

HI!

It's my turn now, I'd like to know what hiding behind 'Father' 😏 for the snippet game !

Hope you have a nice day :)

Thank you so much! 😊 I hope you have a lovely day too!

Father is another old WIP that was for a DC kinkmeme prompt where Bruce and Jason had to go undercover as father and son. Again I do still want to get this out, even though it’s so old lol. In the meantime, have this snippet:

He had debated simply attending the retreat as Brucie Wayne. The event isn’t actually in Gotham - although Tim’s reconnaissance had pointed it out as the next likely target for the new Gotham villain - but Bruce is aware that he’s still recognisable to a large number of people. Going as Bruce would allow him to be himself - or, at least the version of himself that he plays most often in public - and remove the risk that someone might see through a disguise.

Except, there’s very little reason for Bruce Wayne to be at a literature retreat in another part of the country for a week and, even if they could think of one, Brucie Wayne will draw attention. It might make gathering evidence harder, and if Batman does need to show up, the coincidence is going to be glaring. Both Bruce Wayne and Batman missing from Gotham at the same time, then turning up at the same random location together? It’s stretching most people’s suspension of disbelief a little thin. Not to mention that Jason hasn’t been legally revived yet, so there would be no reason for the two of them to be at the retreat together.

Not that they couldn’t work around that, necessarily, but a different cover makes everything easier. All it requires is a bit of creative disguising and careful adherence to their new backstories. If there’s anything that Bruce has learnt from Clark Kent, it’s that most people are happy to believe what they’re told, and no one is likely to be looking out for Bruce Wayne in disguise. It should be easy.

So, for the next week Bruce will be Alfie Brownstone, the loving - if slightly clueless - father of Jamie, a budding writer and literature enthusiast.

Okay, it might not be that easy.

“Besides,” Bruce says, “you should probably just call me dad.”

The look on Jason’s face tells Bruce exactly what he thinks about that. Maybe Bruce shouldn’t be pushing his luck - there’s only so far Jason will be willing to go for one of Bruce’s cases, and it’s enough of an ask just for him to pretend to get along with Bruce already.

Despite himself, the thought makes Bruce’s chest hurt. Once upon a time, Jason wouldn’t have had to pretend. As it so often does, the nostalgia washes over him suddenly - a tidal wave of grief and longing. It makes his lungs feel squeezed flat and his gut ache. Jason is right in front of him, but Bruce misses him. Misses the child he used to be, a sharp edge of grief that even Jason’s resurrection can’t blunt.

These moments happen far less often now. In the days, the weeks, the months, after…after. That feeling had been almost constant. Paralysing. Nowadays the moments are few and far between, but all Bruce can do during them is cling on and wait for them to pass.

Usually, he doesn’t have Jason watching him curiously as it happens. If Jason notices, though, he doesn’t say anything. He’s frowning to himself, but it’s a thoughtful expression rather than a concerned one.

“Dad, huh?” And Bruce can feel himself twitch at the word. Can see that Jason catches the involuntary movement by the wry smirk that curves his lips. “Just like old times?”

Not that Jason had really called him dad, even back then. He had, on occasion - if he wanted something from Bruce, usually, or if he was tired or hurt. It had always touched something soft in Bruce. It had been one of the hardest things to remember, afterwards.

The word doesn’t sound the same in the deep voice Jason now sports. Still, it twinges the same cord deep in his heart that it always has.

“Not really,” Bruce says. “You were much cuter then.”

I hope you liked it! 💕 It’s a bit fluffier than my usual stuff! 😂 Thank you again for the ask!

[adragonhoardingstories]

Of Blood and Bonds - Chapter 1

@mystery-5-5

@abrx2002 @clumsy-owl-4178 @daminett4life @zalladane

@heaven428 @unmaskedagain

@dawnwave16 @virgil-is-a-cutie

@kris-pines04 @hypnosharkrebeldreamer

@weird-pale-blonde-person

@ravennightingaleandavatempus

@persephonebutkore

@be-happy-every-day-please @blue-peach14 @annabellabrookes

I hope I got everyone in the tag! I know I said this was gonna be fluff but it's also going to be angst. Sorry not sorry.

On that note, this book will contain swearing, mentions of rape and torture. I will try not be explicit but that's really relative. Read at your own risk. There will be warning before if I make a explicit scene so that you can skip it.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy and don't hunt me down for this.

___________________________________

Marinette had punched Bruce Wayne. 

Marinette had punched Bruce Wayne, Prince of Gotham, in Wayne Enterprises Tower in Gotham City and she was probably going to get kicked out because of this but it was so worth it. 

"Marinette honey," He said cautiously, "I'm sure I deserve it but why?"

She clenched her jaw and took a few deep breaths as she opened and closed her fists. She was trying really hard not to punch him again. 

You won't be able to get a second shot in without the boys intervening. She told herself, eying the way the boys - her brothers, she reminded herself stood, ready to pounce on her at any instant.

She had no doubt that the only reason she wasn't being restrained yet was because they were too shocked to react. 

"I don't think I asked for much Dad." She practically snarled the words out. "I just asked for a few phone calls and yet-" Her voice was shaking. "Yet, I haven't heard from you in over three years."

"Mari I can expl-"

"No, no, you don't fucking have that right to anymore. I did not come to Gotham to ask an explanation or beg for your attention. This was an unfortunate coincidence. I would have been perfectly happy to never see or hear from you again."

She turned to leave but Bruce grabbed her shoulder. She froze. This was Bruce Wayne, She had to remind herself, This was her father. He would not harm her. 

"I needed you Bruce. I needed you and you were not there." She shrugged off his hand from her shoulder and left in the direction of her class. 

Dick wordlessly moved out of her way and she tried not to think about the fact that she may have lost her chance to have a relationship with her siblings. 

~

Dick didn't know the whole story. Hell, before today Dick hadn't known that he had another sibling. He hadn't known that Bruce had another biological child. 

At least, he guessed that she was his biological child but he couldn't be sure because, once again, Bruce hadn't told them.

He watched the man. As always, he had an incredible poker face but he knew him better, he knew him enough to see the emotions waring among themselves behind his eyes. 

"You messed up big time B." He said quietly. "You know that, don't you?"

His father said nothing, instead he pushed past him and Damian to go after Marinette. He and his little brother had only to share a look before they took off after him, if only to stop him from doing something rash that he would regret and and that would probably damage their chance to know their sister better. 

Damian, Tim, Jason and he himself already had had the chance to talk to her. They could all collectively agree that they already loved her, even Damian, and they had no doubt the others would too.

Dick saw Marinette head towards the washroom. It was clear that she needed a moment alone, just like it was clear that that Bruce intended to wait for her to come out to be able to talk to her again. 

He disagreed. 

"B-"

"I need to talk to her."

"I know." He soothed despite wanting nothing more than to yell at the man. Sometimes, Bruce understood less than Damian. "But she won't like it and you've already pissed her off enough. Why don't we go to the cafeteria? The rest of her class is there. We can wait for her there, once she had some time to calm down."

Dick could see that he was about to protest. "Damian will wait for her and accompany her back." He said, sparing a glance at the youngest who gave him a nod back in return. "She'll be fine. Come on." 

He tugged Bruce along with him and the fact that he didn't argue and let himself be pulled along was a testament to how much he was upset by this whole thing. 

Dick was angry, he wanted nothing more than to scream at Bruce because didn't he know better than to keep secrets like this from them at this point?

~

Bruce knew he was a coward and definitely not the father one would wish for, but if Marinette really had given up on him, she wouldn't have been so angry. 

There was something he was missing.

"-your stupidity aside, she was found bound and gagged with clear signs of having been assaulted. She was tested positive for rape for God's sake. What more do you need to leave her alone?" 

There seemed to be an argument going on in the cafeteria. While that was alarming enough, the blond girl's words gave him a very bad feeling. 

"Oh, please." A sausage-haired girl rolled her eyes. "She was probably there willingly. No one would get through such  traumatic event and be back to normal so soon after. Not even her parents believed her. "

"Normal? Are you serious right now? I was there when they found her. I was there when she screamed at the sight of anyone with blonde hair or green eyes. And you've all seen how after that, she hates being touched."

"She's just over-reacti-" Sausage-hair stopped in the middle of her sentence, staring at something in his direction. 

"Oh no, please do continue to speak so openly about the worst month of my life." He couldn't help the flinch when he heard his daughter's voice as she walked past him... because that meant that Marinette, sweet precious Marinette - his sunshine had been kidnapped and assaulted for a month and if the other girl was to be believed neither Tom or Sabine believed in her. 

The sausage girl scoffed but backed down. Her reaction meant that she was at least a little guilty. He filed that information for later. She muttered a 'Whatever.' and walked away. 

"Marin-" the blonde haired girl who was defending his daughter spoke up but Marinette cut her off. 

"I do appreciate you trying to defend me Chloe but I'd appreciate it better if you didn't speak of it at all."

The girl - Chloe, gave a nod in acceptance. "Go on ahead," Marinette said, from beside him. "I'll catch up." 

The blonde eyed them for a moment before she walked away. 

Bruce looked down to his daughter who was still staring ahead.

He had so much to ask her, like What the hell happened? But she beat him to it, unclenching her fist. 

"I'm sorry for punching you, but I was. Angry." She was gritting her teeth. "But I did meant it, you don't need to bother trying to contact me or anything. I'm perfectly happy without you." 

She started walking away.

"Marinette-" he called out and she stopped. It reminded him of earlier and he had a sinking feeling that her words would be as heartbreaking as the first time. 

She shook her head. "Like I said B, I needed you." For the first time, since she arrived in the cafeteria, she turned to look at him and gave him a small sad smile that broke his heart all over again. "It would have been nice to know that at least one of my parents supported me."

He didn't say anything. What could he say to make this better? 

She walked away, and this time, he didn't stop her. 

~

Jason was a little more than pissed. 

His day had started out nicely enough, made better when he saw a tiny girl taking out two men probably twice her size. 

He was going to help her but she had already taken care of them. 

She still thanked him for trying to come to her aid and when he offered to walk her to wherever she was going, the girl took a few moments to assess him - to him it felt like she was looking through his soul.

There was something about her that screamed to him not to underestimate her.  She knew what she was doing, that much was clear and when she offered him a sunny smile and told him that she was heading to Wayne Enterprises, he felt something loosen inside of him. 

It was bizarre to say the least but he felt at peace near her. Safe. 

Later on, he would realise that the haze of the Lazarus pit that he had struggled with everyday since his ressurection had retreated when he was near her. 

Jason's mood started to worsen when he found out that she had been left alone by her class. Something like an ugly acidic green snake coiled up inside of him wanting to protect her and extract revenge. 

Jason's mood improved again as throughout the day she saw the girl interact with his brothers, clearly winning over them as well. 

Though, he was rarely - to the point of never seen at WE usually, he decided to make an exception that day and hang out with the tour group Tim was supposed to be leading. 

Damian had also supposedly been bored and had decided to crash the party and Dick wasn't too far behind their youngest to keep him out of trouble. 

Everything was going smoothly and honestly, it was after a long time that they found someone the others didn't have a problem with. 

Then he had noticed Bruce, and not even a few seconds after, he noticed the bluenette slipping out after him.

Dick and Damian - who had been shadowing her all day, slipped away after her and he was stuck behind babysitting with his replacement.

That class had nothing of worth except Marinette. There was actually even a fool that was stupid enough to claim that she knew the Waynes in front of them, while not knowing that they were the Waynes and instead treating them like mere employees. 

He would enjoy putting her in her place. 

But before he could, his day started taking a turn for the worst, impossible to brighten again.

The girl, he didn't care enough to know her name, out of the blue stated that Marinette probably just slipped away again to draw attention to her. That escalated in a very…informative battle of words that made him want to take a plane to Paris and drench it's streets in blood.

As if that wasn't enough, he saw Bruce again, now looking like someone slapped him in the face with a fish...

On closer look, he could see that someone had actually punched him. He was so going to hack the Tower's camera. 

And then Marinette spoke up and...what? 

He was completely lost.

Did she say one of my parents? He hoped for Bruce sake that he misheard because otherwise that meant that this father figure fucked up again...which wasn't that suprising really.

So really, Jason was a little more than pissed and he felt like his choice of words was appropriate. 

"What the actual fuck Bruce?"

~

Tim was tired. 

His day had set out to be a tiring one, irrespective of the fact that he had stayed up all night to work on a case. 

He had to lead a tour group. 

Wayne Enterprises had a habit of keeping an eye on promising students for schools that they funded. For some reason, Bruce had started funding a College François Dupont in Paris. Why? He didn't know but knowing the man, he probably had some ulterior motive. 

That had intrigued him and he had taken a look at the students in their last year. There was indeed some very promising young talents - who by the looks of it, already knew which career they wanted to do and were clearly working toward them. Many of them had already been on T.V shows, had their names in newspapers or did small gigs and commissions. It was rather impressive. 

There was this one class however which at the beginning was one who seemed to have a lot of potential but he saw in their files that over the years their...efforts dropped collectively around the same time. It was extremely bizarre. 

One particular student in that class drew his attention though. It was one Miss Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Her academic records were stellar - always had been and while her grades had dropped a but at one point, she got them back up within the year which was more than impressive since she had skipped two years. She also seemed really talented, had won several awards and supposedly had a website for commissions - her file seemed...rushed and considerably lacking in details compared to her classmates even though Tim felt like she did way more than them. 

Call it his detective instincts but he knew that there was something going on in that class, his doubts were further re-inforced when he saw a report about Marinette, it was once again quite vague but what little was in it still chilled him to the core.

But...still...there was something else about her. Something striked him as soon as he saw her picture - she seemed really really familiar but he couldn't put his finger on where exactly had he seen her before. 

Well, as CEO he was supposed to be leading the tour groups anyways, so hopefully he'd get to find out then. 

The tour group consisted of all the senior class of the college and he prayed against all hope that it wasn't to be a disaster. 

Flashforward to the big day...it wasn't actually so bad. His brothers had crashed the party...which was unexpected but they weren't causing any trouble which was for more than he could usually hope for and while some students were absolutely aboherent ((mostly from that one class that had caught his attention)) the rest were genuinely nice. He had managed to talk to a few of them and was pleasantly surprised at their intellect. 

The most interesting student there though was, as he had predicted, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, she was able to keep up with him throughout all of his explanations, whatever department may it have been in even though it was clearly stated in her file that she wanted a career in fashion. But well, he knew better than most that appearances could be receiving. Simply put, she was a genius. 

She reminded him of Elle from Legally Blonde for some reason. 

There was however also one student who had certainly not impressed him, thoroughly disgusted him actually - Lila Rossi. 

See the thing was that no one knew that he was actually the CEO. That had been done intentionally. The aim of the tour after all was for him to be able to see if there was any potential employees for Wayne Enterprises among them. 

And boy, was he going to blacklist her. 

The girl was a lying machine and the lies weren't even good. She name-dropped at every other sentence and even did the mistake of lying about him and his brothers in a place where any employee who knew them personally could call her out on her bullshit. It was such an amateur mistake. 

His opinion of her only soured when she insulted Marinette, he had taken her a liking to her, however brief their conversation had been and even if he hadn't - the fact that Lila bought up her kidnapping and downplayed it would be more than enough. 

Thankfully not everyone from that College was total numbskulls. A few people immediately jumped to the defense of the absent girl. 

He cataloged them mentally - The Braindead, The Neutrals and The Defenders, while also taking notes of what they were saying. 

What he heard out was even more horrifying that what he had read. 

That it! He was going to be looking into this girl's case personally.

As of all of this wasn't bad enough, Bruce just had to make everything worse. 

Because he could finally out the pieces together and understand why Marinette looked so familiar. 

Marinette was his sister. 

Marinette was Bruce's daughter and he was going to have to answer to Tim - and but the looks of it, his brother too - about what had happened to their newfound sister. 

~

Damian…

Damian didn't know what to think. 

[bluboothalassophile]

Hello Blu!!! Blu, I'd like to ask you, what if exist a flashpoint like in Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (in your mind/your point of view), for ex: What if Jason had been saved by Bruce, what would have change in this flashpoint paradox? What other things/people would have changed? What do you think of this? Sorry just a random question that came to me ^^ and i'd like to know your opinion! ^^

Hello,

In a flashpoint where Jason lives instead of dying… Alright, well, I’ve thought a lot about this. I even have a story on the parameters of if Jason had lived rather than dying, but that’s a bit closer to the Arkham Knight AU for what happened to Jay.

Anyways, B would save Jason, he wasn’t late, but Jason’s still in critical. I HC that B managed to save Jason but couldn’t save Shelia so that bitch dies in the very explosion she was meant to die in (a moment of silence as we mourn the bitch… okay back to business).

Jason is rushed into a hospital, coma, rehab, years of work to come back; because he’s not magic. Dick is now growing the fuck up and pulling his head out of his ass and trying to be a big brother to Jason as Jason struggles through PT. Alfred forces the family to see a shrink (JL or other), traumas are addressed rather than manifesting unhealthily. Alfred finally just had enough of this shit and said they would see a shrink; all because Jason’s brush with death scared decades off him, and B, and they both see the value now in maybe growing up and addressing the traumas. Also, B doesn’t blame Jay, especially not after he finds out about Sheila. 

They address Jason’s trust issues, inferiority feelings, how he felt when they isolated him and were going to take Robin away from him. Dick gets to talk about his needs to grow up, spread his wings, be himself, and address his anger issues and maybe they’ll also talk about his relationship with and his feelings about Jason and how Jason IS NOT his replacement. B never develops his god complex, because God Knows That Man Is Merely A Man! It’s fucking annoying too, B feels that.

I think that Dick and Jay work on becoming brothers through Jay’s PT, movie nights, Titans actually properly meet Jay, books, books, more books, and Jay might even get to go to that school dance he wanted to go to. Even if he’s pushed into the dance in a wheelchair. Dick’s Titans, Garth, Roy, Donna, Lilith, and Wally completely support Jason’s role as Robin now. Yes, Jason still is crushing on Donna, but she’s out of his league and she finds it sweet.

In that time, I think Tim finds the Waynes, and I think Tim and Jay bond; tight and fast, Dick’s actually stepping up to be a big brother. Tim becomes Robin, Jason focuses on PT; resentments about that situation are addressed and Jason doesn’t have that festering wound of being replaced. 

Tim is now the baby brother, and Dick and Jay adore him. They like teasing Tim, and drawing Tim out of his shell, maybe even doing normal brother shit, like beating up Tim’s bullies, rough housing with him, and even possibly formally telling Jack Drake to fuck off, Tim’s their baby brother. I think with that in mind, B legally goes about adopting Tim, and Tim is shocked at this news. They have a huge family dinner to make the announcement, and Tim cries like a baby in joy (No one will ever say anything about that, because Tim’s family).

Stephanie comes barrelling into the family (Jay’s starting to go back into the field; possibly under a different name, Red Bird, or Bluejay or something). Dick and Jason torture Tim about his crush on Stephanie, and they adore Stephanie. B tolerates her still, and maybe tries hard. Stephanie never becomes Robin, staying Spoiler, and she practically lives at the mansion. She trains with the boys, plays with them, and is never adopted because of Tim’s feelings for her, also B might like her but she’s so not his kid. Babs takes a real liking to Stephanie, and takes Steph under her wing, even presenting Batgirl to Stephanie when she’s older.

Yes, we still find Cass, or better Cass finds them, and she’s adopted by them. Babs is still Oracle. The Batfamily; whilst dysfunctional in different ways, is functioning, and they are recovering. B adores her; obviously and she’s his favorite child; the boys all know this and they adore her. The boys are also painfully aware that Cass can do no wrong in B’s eyes, and could probably get away with murder, they can never get away with anything.

Jason never clashes with Joker; and Joker is a quadriplegic, blind and mute after B is done with him. [I Know There are ways to incapacitate Joker without killing the fucker, so B can stay on his ‘No Kill’ rule and Joker is fucking gone from the depths of nightmares and on a painful trip to Hell]. Joker dwindles into nothing more than a nightmarish memory on Gotham’s psyche. 

Jay and Roy become BFFs during his PT and Roy’s recovery, and get into a shit ton of antics still. Jason never makes that first kill, but is still reckless, he even acquires the All-Blades; though no one knows how he accomplished that. Alfred is the one who teaches Jay to shoot, it’s a coping mechanism to make Jay feel some form of control and safety. No, he does not use guns on his patrols, opting to stick to B’s methods and the swords.

Jason becomes a Titan, on a team with Raven, Eddie Bloomberg, Conner Hawk, Kyle Rayner and Koriand’r on his team. Jason torments Dick about this when Kori crashes here and Dick’s tripping over his tongue and feet around her. Tim just finds it hilarious too.

Dick and Babs never work out, but they stay friends, and Dick eventually marries Kori. Babs and Kori are great friends, and have a girls weekend once a month (Babs is Mar’i and Jake’s aunt, Raven’s still their godmother and Wally their godfather).

B and Talia never get back together, instead their fall out is of epic proportions when B finds out about Damian. The Bats take Dami in without questions.

Damian still clashes violently with Tim, Jason beats Damian up though and Dick comforts Damian. Damian still bonds closest to Dick, while Tim and Jay both leave the demon spawn to Dick. Tim will never admit this but he totally slept in Jason’s room for the first year after Damian moved in; after that first night and he was violently woken up by Damian’s attempt to murder him. Jason is Tim’s favorite brother at that point.

They adopt Duke a year after Damian, Dick and Jason actually insist on this; with Cass’ help, and Duke is dragged into the lunacy of the Bats.

Cass and Stephanie are BFFs, and they work closely with Oracle, they are Orphan and Batgirl, and together all of Gotham’s criminals fear purple glitter bombs, and ass-kickings. The girls are the ones who stumble over Harper Row and her brother, Cullen, and they quickly accumulate Harper and Cullen into their little group. B has no idea what to think about this, but everyone knows he’ll never say no to Cass.

Tim becomes a Titan, on a team with Kon, Bart, Cassandra Sandsmark, Zachary Zatara, Tanya Spears.

Kate joins their ranks, but is not permitted her firearms, in fact, she is the biggest clashing force in the Bats with B. But B, and the family are firm on their No Killing policy and their No Fire Arms. In fact, this is almost a fall out for Kate and B until the Bats have to save Kate, and they kind of make it clear that if she’s in she’s all in exactly how they want. If not, she’s no Bat.

Luke joins into the Bats too, though that’s completely accidental as he’s only interested in saving his father at the time. But he kind of falls hard for Babs, and sticks around. He’s also the buffer for Tim when it comes to keeping his secret as Red Robin from Tammy, though Luke vastly disapproves of tihs. But neither of them want Tammy in the Batfamily world; it’s dangerous. Luke and Tim also save Tammy from Bane’s venom, with the aid of Stephanie when that rolls around.

B marries Cat. No heartache or heart break there, they are married, almost a year after what happened to Jason because they realize: Life Is Too Fucking Short.

Jason gets into Princeton, he’s always at the top of his class and involved with athletics and vigilant life. He’s not a lady’s man like Dick was before Kori, but he’s good with the ladies, and has a lot of girls who are his friends. He’s not Mr. Popular but the world has finally stopped comparing him to Dick. Jason’s time in Princeton is huge! The family is extremely proud of Jay and they are vocal in their pride, even being the dorky family cheering at his graduation. Jason did punch Dick for that, and caught Tim in a headlock as Stephanie glitter bombed them both for having a banner there. Cass has the photographic evidence of this. Damian just clicked his tongue in disapproval before Dick glitter  bombed him too. Duke was Cass’s perch for the glitter bombing so, he was safe from all glitter bombs. Over all though, it’s good times.

Jason later goes to Harvard to study medicine, which he’s really excelling at. He wants to be an ER doc, to help people shortly after their trauma, knowing the importance of quick actions after extensive damage.

Tim and Tammy get engaged. Tammy is furious when she finds out she engaged a Bat, but she’s mostly upset he didn’t trust her enough to say something.

Cass does become a ballerina, and still takes acting classes from Clayface.

Babs and Luke eloped; a weekend in Atlantic City neither of them really remember.

Tim and Tammy break up though when Tim moves to San Francisco to be with the Titans more.

Duke goes to Princeton after Jay, and meets Claire, they start dating.

Damian becomes a Titan, he’s on a team with Kaldur’ahm, Garfield, Wallace West, Jon Kent (for whom he is falling for almost painfully), Djinn and Emiko Queen.

Helena was born at some point, she’s adored and the center of the family’s eyes, even Damian fell for her. He’s also a sucker for Mar’i and Jake (though he’d soon eat glass than say that). 

Jason finds Terry and Matt, by accident after they lost their parents in a wreck and were at the hospital Jay. The DNA testing showed Terry and Matt were B’s kids, so he kind of brings them home. B goes off on Waller for this violation, and the using of his DNA to create the boys. 

Babs and Luke adopt Carrie Kelley and Nell Little, bringing them into the Bats when they can’t keep Carrie out of it.

Life continues on though, and they keep going. They are a family. They aren’t perfect, the Bats are far from perfect, they still have epic blow outs, and fights, also huge feuds but they are a family. They banned together after Jay’s near brush with death and didn’t travel down that morbid rabbit hole of self destruction and god complexes of inadequacy.