#if i like how this one eventually turns out i might do one for ling but thats it

[astranauticus]

its (gonna be) the year of the dragon bitches

[littlebigmouse]

List of Small Things™ I enjoy about Fullmetal Alchemist in no particular order

Everyone in FMAB/manga is just Some Guy™ and very human and I love that so here goes:

Falman getting stuck with a serial-killing suit of armor in his appartment for days and his reaction to it. It may have been weeks. He's been on sick leave the entire time. He's a guy in his early thirties with a flock of early-greying hair because being in a dead-end-role in the military is stressfull, ok. He gets stuck at home with a funny little serial killer (and eventually some foreign body guards, and a foreign prince?? lighting signal fires in his backyard?? like man what a week)

The whole military ambush against the Devil's Nest was yes, kind of kickstarted by the gang kidnapping Al for Greed, but it was mostly kickstarted because Ed was down south to do his yearly official report and Bradley and Armstrong just happened to be present when he was informed Al had gone missing. Greed's entire operation was done in by a teen doing his paperwork

on that note, Greed really decided to spend his immortality wisely by pursuing absolutely none of his supposed ambitions and just decided to settle down with a bunch of buddies. An offshot of the buddies he was initially made to guard, too. I don't think Greed is aware of this either

everyone on that radio building. The radio host 100% down to get some coup-shenanigans into his station to drive engagement. The guys sympathising with Mrs Bradley and taking care of her. Breda taking control of the narrative with a perpetual frown by the skin of his teeth.

I know the story of how the Bradleys met is technically not canon(?) but Mrs Bradley slapping her future husband upon their first meeting because he got his flirting tips from his siblings will never not be funny. Idiots. All of them.

EVERYTHING about Darius and Heinkel. They lost their jobs and became wanted criminals upon helping out some scrawny 15 year old. They have families they miss dearly. They haven't looked back since. "You guys don't HAVE to help me save the world" - "It's not like we have anything better to do"

i was going to say the Ice Cream Truck, because it's iconic, but actually, when told to disguise a vehicle, 15-year-old pinacle of edgelord fashion Edward Elric turned it into a colourful nightmare of spikes that barely resembled a car but might be closely related to the worlds deadliest parade float. None of this was necessary. Ed is just like that.

Hawkeye growing her hair out after meeting Winry, and Winry getting piercings after seeing Hawkeye's

Denny Brosh bursting into tears when he sees Maria Ross is still alive. Dude managed to not quit his job despite working in the same city (department?) where his best friend's killer was his supervisor. They were also very real for showing us that this is a guy who oversleeps and is older brother to at least three younger siblings. There was no need to give us more on Denny Brosh but every little detail hit so hard when they reunited.

okay so remember that time Ed and Ling ate Ed's shoe. Remember that Ed spend some time on a "deserted island" as a kid. Gluttony's stomach had nothing on him. Izumi raised some anime-ass boy-scouts. 100% Farm boy behaviour. These kids are so 15 it makes me want to bite things

immortal, soul-spliced dwarf in a flask got rid of his Sloth and still managed to procrastinate on his world domination plan until the last minute. Most Human disaster.

the entire half-episode they spend on Dr. Knox and his regrets and family. FMA is so good about humanising everyone.

everyone bullied Yoki because he was a small town fraud exploiting workers for his own benefit. Simply a jerk. He also hit Pride with a car in an epic rescue, and cried and screamed the whole way through

that one shot of a kid curiously poking a soldier they found bound on the ground with a stick

(I know it's technically not canon, but-) "I'm trying to save your life, asshole!"

Edward Elric

[least-carpet]

'replacing jc in someone's affection' I am crying! wwx doesn't do it once but twice! It's fascinating! Also, this makes me understand why some people, reading the novel, come to the conclusion that wwx doesn't care anymore about jc. Yeah, it's a valid interpretation!

Listen, I just rotated, and rotated, and rotated this scenario (—because, like, both child and adult Wei Wuxian are sincerely in need of support and affection, but I think receiving it as a child while it was withheld from someone he loved, what might have seemed like taking it away from someone who also needed it, also contributed to his boundary problems and self-sacrificial tendencies and eventual resentment—like he needs it but it hurts someone he loves deeply when he gets it but he still needs it, how can he reconcile these conflicting truths?? OK I will stop now—) and, uh, have a tiny little sketch of that zhanchengxian fic concept below, with which I will exorcise my sad past chengxian/past zhancheng/current wangxian thoughts.

It was going to be a perfect triple triple drabble but I needed 80 more words in the centre section to describe Jiang Cheng's tears. You know how it is.

Pursued by Lesser Ghosts

At first he was busy and grateful for it.

Then, Jin Ling settled, elders cowed, sect in order, Jiang Cheng was forced to returned to Lotus Pier. Empty, now.

His sect ran as it always did. He slept poorly. He dreamed often. He walked up and down the pier at night, pursued by lesser ghosts, echoes of people who were alive, just gone. His own life closed around him as tight as any noose, one long merciless sequence of work, sleep, work.

He had a minor qi deviation.

“Go back to dual cultivation,” said the doctor.

“That’s no longer possible,” he said.

The doctor looked up. When Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything else, she said, “Well. Come here for acupuncture once a week. Consider visiting Jin Ling.”

Relax, she didn’t bother to say.

Jiang Ping, his one surviving cousin, took tea with him, and said: “I know things have been stressful. Perhaps you would consider marriage now?”

“I didn’t think marriage was relaxing,” said Jiang Cheng, drily.

“It can be. After everything, well… it’s nice to have someone there.” Jiang Ping looked up, thinking. “Having someone there and working a lot. I don’t think it’s possible for Sect Leader to work harder, so you’ll have to try the other thing.”

Jiang Cheng let out a snort despite himself. Jiang Ping grinned at him.

He could get married, he supposed. What was there to prevent him?

He didn’t call for a matchmaker. He worked harder, kept himself so busy he could hardly think, but at night, laying in his bed, he ached with loneliness before sleep. And in sleep, he saw them, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian both, invariably walking away from him, hand in hand.

Sometimes he was silent; sometimes he called to them. It didn’t matter. They never turned around.

-

In Wei Wuxian’s dream, it was high summer, air as thick as syrup, and he was lying under the trees along the riverbank with his head in Jiang Cheng’s lap.

Above him, Jiang Cheng was eating tanghulu. Playfully, Wei Wuxian opened his mouth like a baby bird, and Jiang Cheng, rolling his eyes, took a piece of fruit and fed it to him, red and almost glowing. His index finger brushed against Wei Wuxian’s mouth.

Sometimes, he dreamed and he didn’t know whether it was just a dream or a fragment of a memory. He thought this might have happened—he faintly remembered begging Jiang Cheng to let him rest his head in his lap, across his narrow, muscled thighs.

Suddenly it was night, and Jiang Cheng was gone.

“Jiang Cheng?” called Wei Wuxian, and found his voice was a child’s voice, high-pitched and nervous. “Jiang Cheng?”

He rushed through Lotus Pier, now dark and empty, towards Jiang Cheng’s room. Then, in the way of dreams, Jiang Cheng was in front of him, a child again, too, face swollen with tears as he wept alone on the pier.

Wei Wuxian froze, panicked.

Someone picked him up; Uncle Jiang had appeared. But instead of saying anything, he turned and walked away. “Uncle Jiang,” Wei Wuxian whispered, but Jiang Fengmian didn’t respond.

All Wei Wuxian could do was look over Uncle Jiang’s shoulder at Jiang Cheng, at his crumpled, sobbing face. You don’t understand, he thought, suddenly, I love you but I need this, I need it, I need it.

That face changed again, blurred into Jiang Cheng's adult face, still weeping as he knelt on the pier. And then the strong arms around him weren’t Uncle Jiang’s but Lan Zhan’s, holding him tight in a bridal carry, taking him away as he squirmed to look back, to not look away from Jiang Cheng’s face, they had been so happy only a moment ago—

Wei Wuxian woke late, his face wet. Went to look for a handkerchief. Opened a drawer he hadn’t looked in before to find: two purple hair ribbons. An open jar of salve, carved with the insignia of a well-known Yunmeng herbalist. And a lavender handkerchief, embroidered with a little frog. Wei Wuxian traced it gently with his thumb.

-

The day was a little crisp, but bright and beautiful. Lan Wangji had risen at the appointed time, eaten breakfast serenely with the sect, and taught some advanced guqin lessons. Lan Sizhui was coming along beautifully, playing more delicate and precise every day, a delight to teach.

Everything was just as it should be in the Cloud Recesses, but Lan Wangji was still somehow uneasy.

He had gained everything he had dreamed of as a teenager, in one bewildering fell swoop. His life had been overturned, but for the better, the man he had wanted for so long delivered to him on a silver platter. He was unbelievably lucky.

Of course, he grieved what had happened to his brother. Lan Xichen deserved only good things. It was bitter to find out someone you had loved so deeply had deceived you—had failed you—had abandoned you.

But with the exception of that dark spot, the suffering and absence of his brother, his life was everything he had ever asked for, wasn’t it? A pristine life, on the surface.

If there was a dark shadow underneath, the ripple of something passing through a lake on a sunny day—something slipping out of an incautious hand, lost to the water—that too was life, wasn’t it?

He had never been so happy in his life. He had never before been so happy in his life, as he had once imagined it.

He averted his eyes from that shadow.

Until, one day, he returned home, and found Wei Ying, sitting at the room’s low table, holding a handkerchief in one hand. Remnants of a different life that had collected in his home. No—that he had kept. Gripped tightly.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, brightly, face stretched in a brittle smile. “What’s this?”

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

Another mixed concept and scene snippet post from twitter. This one I actually hammered out a quick ending to!

Nie Huaisang is the insecure one of the relationship for a change. 

Even though they’ve been together from the end of lectures all the way through the Sunshot Campaign, even though Jiang Cheng always turns them down, even though Jiang Cheng chased off the matchmakers, there's always someone drawn in by Jiang Cheng’s pretty face or the allure of the Jiang-furen. 

And, eventually, Jiang Cheng will have to find himself a wife. 

An actual wife. 

Nie Huaisang can handle dealing with merchants and accounts and stuff like that, he’d even force himself to do it for the rest of his life if he has to, but there's so much more that would be expected of a wife and even if he were to learn it all, the etiquette and everything, he's still not a woman. He can’t give Jiang Cheng heirs of his own bloodline, and he knows how important that is.

So even though he does his best to help out with rebuilding the Pier, Nie Huaisang makes himself scarce if there's even a hint of flirting because if this is going to be the one that Jiang Cheng reciprocates, he doesn't want to be there to see it.

He even stays through the fallout and the first siege, only for a new problem to pop up as the dust settles.

On top of everything else, Jin Ling can’t stand him. Even at that age where babies are upset about everything, it's clear Nie Huaisang is his least favorite adult, even though Nie Huaisang is doing his best, and is actually doing things correctly 95% of the time.

It's absolutely crushing. It's worse than the flirting, worse than the proposal letters, because he knows more than anything, Jiang Cheng needs a partner who can do right by his nephew.

As Jin Ling howls angrily in his arms, only to immediately quiet as soon as someone else takes him, Nie Huaisang finally starts contemplating throwing in the towel and letting Jiang Cheng find someone who actually deserves to be by his side. 

And eventually… he does give up and break things off. 

Not wanting to leave Jiang Cheng feeling like he's in the wrong, he explains everything before he quietly goes back to Qinghe.

Unbeknownst to him, Jiang Cheng takes this as a challenge. 

Nie Huaisang left because people wanted him to marry better? Fine! He finally accepts the matchmakers' attempts to set him up, and then purposely bombs the dates. When rumors start getting out, he pays the matchmakers to support them.

He can't do anything about the fact that Jin Ling doesn't like Nie Huaisang, and that guts him, because his nephew comes first. But Jin Ling's a baby, surely his opinion will change as he grows? 

Right?

He can make this work. He will make this work.

It's been a year and a half since he and Nie Huaisang have seen each other in person, but they've been tentatively exchanging letters. 

When Jiang Cheng arrives at the conference in Qinghe, he takes the first day to gather his nerves. On the second day, he thinks he's ready.

And then the screaming panic erupts in the courtyard.

---

From there, it goes as canon did. Nie Huaisang grows distant as he sinks into grief and revenge and Jiang Cheng throws himself into running the sect and raising Jin Ling. 

(Neither of them ever tells Jin Ling about their history together, so he grows up having never known they were even an item, just that Nie Huaisang is that weird annoying guy who's always pestering shushu. Ironic that he ends up remaining completely disdainful of Nie Huaisang his whole childhood, but for totally different reasons.)

It's painful and bewildering to see the way Nie Huaisang acts around Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao, because Nie Huaisang wasn't that clingy with him even when they were lovers.

(Once the final confrontation at the temple concludes, Jiang Cheng realizes that Nie Huaisang might have been shielding him from All Of That, but he's still kind of hurt and confused.)

Something forces them to talk: Jin Ling eventually does find out about their backstory.

Not the actual backstory, of course, but during a 'friendly' night hunt, Wei Wuxian offhandedly muses about the fact that Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang aren't together anymore.

Wait, when were they ever together???? 

"Oh, it ended before you were even old enough to remember?" Wei Wuxian asks. "Though I guess that's not surprising, since you were only three when Chifeng-zun died."

"It was probably because even they couldn't stand each other for long," Lan Jingyi says, earning a swat from Ouyang Zizhen.

But Wei Wuxian just grins and says "Yeah, that's probable, too," or something like that. Jin Ling doesn't really hear it clearly because he's already mad and stewing in his own thoughts.

His jiujiu-! With that guy-!

And he's going to get to the bottom of this. Since his jiujiu never said anything about Nie-zongzhu all those years, good or bad, he knows he won't get any information that way, and even though he grew up seeing Nie-zongzhu as a silly harmless annoyance, recent discussions mean he doesn't feel comfortable going to the Unclean Realms either.

Time to start asking the Jiang sect’s second-in-command some questions. 

---

Jin Ling doesn’t get much, but he gets enough that he knows he’s going to have to press Nie-zongzhu for the full story. 

So he sucks up his nerve and heads to the Unclean Realms.

He’s received with little fanfare, but when Nie Huaisang offers tea, he can tell by the smell that it’s his jiujiu’s favorite, and he can’t help but wonder which of them loved it first.

It throws him off guard enough that rather than the snippy confrontation he had been planning on the way over, the first question out of his mouth is “Do you regret any of it?”

Nie Huaisang tilts his head, expression uncomfortably probing. Jin Ling braces himself for the usual deflections and protestations of ignorance, but whatever Nie Huaisang sees makes him simply sigh instead. “Your shenshen. I never predicted she would react the way she did. I thought she would go home to her parents.”

“What about the cu- Mo Xuanyu? Did you make him do it?”

“No. It was his idea to begin with, actually. But there was a possibility, however small, that I could have stopped him, and I never tried.”

Jin Ling is… not sure exactly how he feels about the answers he’s been given. But he does believe them. So he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, lets it out… and without any of the irritation he’d been carrying with him on the way, asks the question that has really sparked this visit.

“Did you break up with jiujiu because of me?”

Nie Huaisang chokes on his tea. “Where did you hear that from?” he wheezes after getting the coughing under control.

“Not any one person in particular. I heard you’d been together from shijiu, and started putting the pieces together after talking to some others,” Jin Ling only partially lies, not wanting to put his jiujiu’s second in any possible line of fire. “Did you?”

Nie Huaisang rubs between his eyes, and it looks like he won’t answer at first. “It wasn’t your fault,” he finally says. “There were over a dozen different issues that probably would have sunk us eventually. We’d been keeping the relationship quiet during the rebuilding, so there were potential wives being tossed in his path constantly, none of which I could measure up to.”

“He would have picked you anyway,” Jin Ling says, eyes narrowed. “So tell me the real reason.”

“I did. Choosing me would have only put more stress on him, especially since-”

“Since what?”

“Since nothing.”

“So it did have something to do with me.”

“Jin-zongzhu-”

“Tell me,” Jin Ling insists, practically leaning over the table.

Nie Huaisang scrubs his face with his hands. “Fine. Fine. I hated seeing how miserable he was having to split time between us because you screamed yourself blue if someone tried to hand you to me. I wasn’t going to make him choose, and I wasn’t going to make him feel guilty when he inevitably chose you. It was better for both of you to just take myself out of the running.”

Jin Ling sits back down and processes this, remembering all the times he’d heard his jiujiu absolutely shut down a dinner date with anyone. How he always changed the subject when Jin Ling brought up the question of why he hadn't married yet.

He must have been missing Nie Huaisang the whole time, and it’s clear just from watching Nie Huaisang during this discussion that he’d been hurting too. And yet they’d never breathed a word about it around him because they didn’t want him thinking he’d ruined things for them.

“Okay,” he says finally. “I’m summoning jiujiu here and we’re discussing this in full.”

“What?”

—

Things finally seem to be going well. With Jin Ling's blessing, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang are tentatively mending the bond between them.

And then a night hunt goes horribly wrong, with Jiang Cheng taking a blow that would have killed his nephew and once-shixiong. Much to everyone's surprise, including his own, he ascends.

As a god of devotion.

He laughs until he realizes the other gods are serious, and then he's bewildered and angry because why him?

Worst of all, he can't leave the heavens without permission for literal years because he has to 'settle in' first, which just seems like a lot of bureaucratic bullshit to him.

—

Of course he goes to Jin Ling first, who's now fully-grown and well-established, but still greets him with tears and a fierce hug like a kid. After they've spent almost the whole day catching up, Jin Ling suddenly gets very quiet and serious. "You might want to go see Huaisang next. Before it's too late."

Jiang Cheng stiffens. "I was already planning on it, but what the hell do you mean 'too late'?"

"He's... really not been doing well since you ascended. I think the only things still keeping him alive at this point are his promise to his brother and the fact that the disciples insist on taking care of him even though he abdicated."

Jiang Cheng feels sick, because he knows.

He knows why.

He thanks Jin Ling and, in a blink, he's at the Unclean Realms. Ignoring the stunned reactions, he turns to the man he recognizes as having been the head disciple the last time he visited and is likely the sect leader now. "Where is he?"

He's guided to a set of rooms deep in the side of the mountain, where the only light is from torches and lanterns and candles. When he enters the door indicated for him, the sight inside makes his stomach drop.

Nie Huaisang is sleeping on a bed of furs and soft pillows, an array Jiang Cheng can't identify stitched over the chest of carefully arranged robes. Despite the fact that his face is still smooth and unlined, there are silver streaks among the braids in his hair. He's far too thin and just... looks ill. 

Kneeling beside the low bed, Jiang Cheng reaches out to touch his cheek, his hair, something, but his presence rouses his former lover before he can make contact.

Nie Huaisang blinks at him, then smiles, but his gaze isn't focusing right. "Ah, Cheng-er, look at you," he murmurs, barely audible. "Always knew you were too good for a monster like me."

—

Nie Huaisang only lives long enough to complete the purification ritual.

Jiang Cheng decides to remain on earth, waiting. He passes the time by occasionally checking in with the sect, or with Jin Ling, or even with Wei Wuxian, the shock of his ascension having forced them to have some very weighty conversations.

It takes another fifty years, but eventually he crosses paths with a young man who has familiar green eyes and an even more familiar infectious laugh. 

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hi again! For the next fic finder there have been two fics that I keep thinking about, but for the life of me can’t remember the name of nor find in my bookmarks.

A) The first one: i remember this scene where lxc and lwj had spent time away from each other i think due to wangxian’s marriage (most likely arranged or lwj was a war prize?), and when they see each other again they actually hug each other and cry. I remember wwx leaving them alone in the room and going to socialize at whatever event they were at. It was canon era btw if that helps.

FOUND! 💖 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriage, Mojo’s post)  

B) The second one is where the twin jades are kidnapped and wwx saves them. I think it’s told from lxc’s pov. During their captivity, they dont harm lxc but they take lwj everyday and torture him so much that lxc has to spend nearly all of his spiritual energy healing him up every night until wwx saves them. Thanks for helping me out! This blog is really heaven-sent!

1B)

FOUND! Whatever you do by apathyinreverie (T, 8k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, bamf WWX, bamf LWJ, bamf LXC, not Jiang friendly, not YZY friendly, slightly darker cultivation world, fluff, Fix-it)

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2. Hello for the next ficfinder I was looking for a fic where WRH is like a father figure to WWX. He gives him nice clothes and jewelry as well. When Madam Yu finds it she destroyed it saying that he didn't deserve all the nice things.

FOUND! All Things Belong by kuroi_atropos (M, 64k, WIP, WRH & WWX, WangXian, WWX is a Wēn, Abuse, Whipping, Manipulations, Warning: WRH, Smart WWX, Possessive Behavior, Warning: JGS, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Rape/Non-con)

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3. Hello loves! As always, this blog gives me life and you're wonderful people ❤️ I know you just posted a fic finder so my request might take a while, I but whenever my turn comes I have 2 asks of you:

A. There's a specific scene I remember from a Canon divergence fic and it's driving me crazy that I can't remember what fic it's from. Basically either Jin Zixun or Su She (I think. I'm pretty sure. Like 89% sure it wasn't jgy at least) is punished by being forced to hold a boulder above his head. He has to use spiritual energy to keep it from crushing him. Eventually he fails. It is implied that he gave up but maybe was just too weak.

FOUND! ❤️ a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 180k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, arranged marriage)

B. Ok this one is a series of modern au w/cultivaton sects that focuses on lx and nmj and their relationship despite being in different sects/nmj being a sect leader. One of the fics involves taking everyone on a trip? One is definitely them entering a relationship. They fly on swords to meet up. I think there's a swimming pool scene at one point? It's been a while so I know I'm missing some stuff. @iluvshikamaru

FOUND! Modern Cultivator AU series by Netrixie (T, 74k, NMJ/LXC, wangxian, modern w cultivation, everyone lives au)

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4. Hi! Thank you so much for all your hard work! I'm new here and don't really know how this all works 😅. But i'm looking for a fic where wei wuxian is a surviving member of a search party, who keeps coming back as a clone every time he's killed after questioning. And lan wangji who's the one who believes that "mo xuanyu" isn't who he really is.

FOUND? Contact; a Mirror by raisedbyhyenas (M, 10k, wangxian, modern, Southern Reach au, body horror, fungal horror, comes back wrong, conspiracy, no good choices)

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5. Hello! Fic finder request - WWX never died (though everyone thinks he did), and he's secretly being kept prisoner by JGY. Child Jin Ling accidentally finds him (after escaping his nannies, or whatever), and keeps sneaking back to visit him trying to figure out who he is and why he's locked up. Thank you!

FOUND! 5 sounds like this thread fic

not FOUND ❤️ whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 131k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Torture, WWX Lives, but basically no one else, Case Fic, Cultivation Sect Politics, Past Abuse, WWX Whump, YL WWX, JL Needs a Hug, JL Tries, Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation, Past Character Death, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Alternating, Flashbacks, Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Depression, Not A Fix-It, Mouth Sewn Shut)

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6. hi! im asking for someone who doesn't have a tumblr. Here's their request: Hello, English is not my first language so I apologize in advance. I'm looking for an ao3 fic where WY breaks free from the WQ needles and goes to the Koi Tower to give himself and his seal in exchange for releasing the Wen remnants. LZ promises to take care of them and the Nie sect gets the amulet. I don't remember anything else, does anyone know what the story is called? I would be very grateful. 🙏🙏🙏 @layzeal @laudh8

FOUND? To Mourn the Young Man by Iamnotawriter (T, 56k, WangXian, anon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, Most people live, but not the bad guys, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal)

FOUND? Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, NHS & WWX, JYL & WWX, wangxian, depression, anxiety, everyone lives au, except JZXun & JGS, self-worth issues, slow burn, oblivious WWX, golden core reveal, chronic pain & illness, pining) Not identical, since the amulet gets destroyed, but similar.

~*~

7. Hi! There's a fic i had in mind as an answer to an itmf but for the life of me i cant seem to find it again. Now it's bugging me tho so pls help me find it again🥺

It was a modern with magic au, wangxian, completed, not explicit, probably way over 5,000 words, maybe a oneshot and published more than a year ago, probably more.

Lan zhan had a (flower? Herbs and stuff? Antique? Anything to tinker with? Magic?) shop, and wei ying had started coming in every day to look for a different flower (maybe) because he (or she? may be a genderbender i dont remember) was trying to achieve something with magic (?) but kept on messing up the formula and botching the potion he was creating(?). In the end he finds the right combo of flowers and ingredients and brews a potion that did something "unorthodox", and wen ning was involved somehow.

FOUND! Something Wicked by theroyalsavage (G, 6k, wangxian, magic au, magical realism, strangers to lovers)

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8. I remember reading a story it was posted I think as a single chapter of 30000-40000 around about and in it WWX and LWJ meet in a store I think WWX was an employee and helped LWJ find a toy for A-Yuan, and there was something about gloves either LWJ left them behind or loaned them to WWX

FOUND? A forgotten pair of gloves by myhouseofstoneyourivygrows (M, 43k, WangXian, NieLan, Anxiety Attacks, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con (madam lan's backstory), Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse (past), Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Chronic Illness (madam lan), Adoption, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending (with jiang siblings) )

~*~

9. Hey, for the next fic finder, A) what’s the fic where Lan Wangji can read minds? The first time he walks by Wei Wuxian, he’s hit with the thought that “He’s so pretty, like a statue or a deity. I want to be his friend and get him to smile at me!” And Lan Wangji is pretty stunned, because Nobody wants to be friends. And so Lan Wangji has a front row seat to Wei Wuxian’s on-going Lan Wangji-sexuality crisis.

B) Another fic I’m looking for is a modern AU, Wei Wuxian is the single parent of 12 year old Wei Yuan (Yes, that Yuan) and the new favorite teacher turns out to be Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is the father, and he took a job because when WW got kicked out he said he was moving into this area. LW never received the letters sent to him because LX intercepted all of them and burned them. LX refused to admit that WY was LW’s at first because he didn’t realize WW had come over the night he was kicked out

@any-mouse

9A)

i dont have a specific fic link for 9A but it sounds like it could be one of the "cherry magic" aus out there if that helps.

FOUND! Too Beautiful For Words, Will My Thoughts Suffice? by Watermelonsmellinfellon (T, 8k, wangxian, fluff, crushes, flirting, telepathy, falling in love, LWJ pov, drama, golden core reveal)

9B)

FOUND! Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, wangxian, modern, ABO, implied mpreg, first time, getting together, angst & drama, happy ending, smut, whump)

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10. ahh helloo. i would be really grateful if you could help me. i remember reading this fic where in CR after wwx punched jzx he was upset and lwj went to talk to him but he said something really hurtful to lwj. ive been trying to find this fic for so long and havent had any luck :((

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11. I'm looking for a tumblr fic set when WWX first comes to Lotus Pier, and Madam Yu almost immediately sets about poisoning him so everyone believes he's sickly, so he won't be a threat to JC. Gradually WWX figures it out through reading books on herbs, but the Wens invade right as he confronts the doctor. Please help, I mostly want to find the author to see what else they've written but this piece really stuck in my head.

FOUND! 11 might be this tumblr post.

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12. hello! please, for the next fic finder i was trying to find a wangxian fic post canon where after they parted ways, lwj found a way for wwx to get a new core, but since it's dual cultivation he goes to tell him in person instead of via letter, and he offers to be the one to help. it's initially very awkward, and it's only cleared up that they have feelings for each other when wwx gets really jealous of the son of a politician or someone from the gentry. can you guys help me?

NOT FOUND in defense of lightning by fruitys (E, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Golden Core Reveal, Getting Together, First Time, Dual Cultivation)

FOUND! Always Light My Way  by cqlorphan (E, 27k, wangxian, post-canon, getting together, friends w/ benefits to lovers, jealous WWX, misunderstanding, pining while   fucking, switch wangxian, bottom LWJ, smut, dual cultivation, archer   WWX, smart WWX, oblivious LWJ, angst w/ happy ending)  

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13. Hello! This request is for the FicFinder. All I remember about the fic is :

- JYL and LXC fall in love with each other as they try to bring WangXian together.

- SZH is older than his peers.

- the children of JYL and LXC are friends with JL(who is the son of MianMian and JZX), Zizhen and JingYi.

- WangXian are quite famous (I think in a good way?)

- the last chapter is from JL's perspective as he visits CR with his mother. And he meets them in the back mountain where the three are playing WangXian I think?

Thanks so much!!✨ @purhplet09

FOUND! Echoes by snowberryrose (G, 41k, WangXian, ChengQing, ChenLi, Family, Canon Divergence, Protective Siblings) suggestion to the person with the request, if the main pairing of a fic you’re looking for is a rarepair, you can use that tag to search and get a much reduced list of fics to look through. like, i remembered the fic you described but not the name, so a search of the jyl/lxc tag + sort by kudos, and it was right neat the top of the list

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14. Hello I'm sorry if this is very vague but there was this fic i read that was along the lines of Genius WWX where he fought the Lan's swordmaster in a spar in Cloud Recesses Arc and ended up getting severely injured but when he woke up in the infirmary, he was told that he was the closest to ever actually beat the man because no one has ever fought against him for so long. Thank you very much and have a nice day!

~*~

15. Hi! Please help me find this fic.

It's premise is that the lan head ribbon can only be unknotted by their fated person. WY unties lz's ribbon accidentally and they are made to marry each other. Accidental marriage, i guess. I think xicheng was also said to be a pairing but I'm not too sure. That's all i can remember.

Hi, i'm the anon who requested #15 here. Sadly "the world passes by but for me there is only you" by beeswaxing is not the fic that i was looking for. Other details i could remember now is that they are made to marry by the lan sect itself and that it is canon divergence before core removal.

not FOUND the world passes by but for me there is only you by beeswaxing (E, 82k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it of sorts, golden core reveal, accidental marriage, love confessions, horny teenagers, pining, fluff, everybody lives, first time)

~*~

16. Hi by any chance do you find twitter thread fics? I'm trying to find this mpreg wangxian fic. Where I think Lan zhan is older. And he hasn't told Madame yu yet. And one day he comes home and he's sick. And not moving from bed. Essentially he need contact with Lan Zhan (can't remember if it was an abo or soulmates reasoning. ) Anyway it ends with Lan Zhan coming because he sense something was wrong and facing the jiangs. And Wei ying pregnant. If you can help me I'd really appreciate it @imgonnablogtheworldtodeath

FOUND! this Twitter threadfic

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17. Hi!! I need help finding a mdzs fic, from what I remember this is during sun shot campaign, where wwx loses his memories after the wen attack to him and he becomes a concubine? A concubine or consort, OR LIKE he works at a brothel? SOMETHING LIKE THAT! I just know for sure that he goes by A-Ying, or maybe not quite sure 😭. And LWJ finds him?? But he doesn’t remember him or anything if I’m not mistaken! @sophiesophs

FOUND! tangled by the night by edenwolfie (E, 54k, wangxian , canon divergence, post fall of the Lotus pier, courtesan WWX, crossdressing, angst w happy ending, first time, first kiss, getting together, humor, hurt/comfort, PTSD, sex work)

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18. Hi, I’ve been looking this one fic for forever and it’s where wei ying and lan zhan communicate with resentful or dead crows and one is injured by a lan deciple and lan zhan cares for it. Thanks @fanfic-discussions

FOUND? carried by the wind by saichan (T, 7k, wangxian, different first meetings, post-sunshot, feat. burial mounds crows, rogue cultivator WWX, Yi city warning)

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19. hi! for the next fic finder, im looking for a crossover between mdzs n tgcf i believe? the content is blurry but i do remember that mount tonglu was about to erupt and hualian and maybe other cast of tgcf + wei wuxian (called wu ming) and mdzs sect leaders + lwj were there to investigate. wwx gives his ashes to lwj and throws himself into mount tonglu as sacrifice to appease the mountain. thats all i remember though, and im like 50% sure it was completed. thank u <3

FOUND! Can we skip to the Good Part? by pink-lotus-pods (Waterlogged_fireflies) (T, 107k, hualian, wangxian, crossover, YLLZ WWX, slow build, canon temporary character death, Fix-It of sorts, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, genius WWX)

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20. Hello! I have been looking for a fic I read a while ago which at the time was incomplete but I'm trying to find again. I believe it was fox wwx and dragon lwj, modern au, wwx breaks into a place where somebody died to steal back a dangerous item that he made but lwj came in to sweep through the place and collect any dangerous times, wwx tries talking his way out and when that fails he tries activating one of the random items as a distraction and gets cursed. Sound familiar? Any help appreciated! @genius-dumbass​

I don’t have the link but I think I recognise the fic - I think the item WWX made was a collar, and he accidentally closed it around his neck. If I remember correctly, it was supposed to be a multi chapter fic but it was discontinued after the first chapter. I think the rating was E , and that the writer is someone that usually writes smutty fics. Maybe that will help someone find it?

#9 sounds like an apparently deleted wip 'a steel trap with no teeth' by martyrsdaughter  

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[baifengxis]

What are some of your fave cdramas that you would highly rec? I’m looking for something to watch and I would be grateful if you can share some. Thank you!!

Oh, thanks so much for this question, I love recommending cdramas haha!

LEGEND OF FEI [2020] Gotta start with the obvious, because I'll recommend this drama forever even to everyone who has started and can't get into it, I'll always be like, please try again lol It's feminist, fun, feel-good but with very nicely done heavy moments every few episodes, important messages about life and about becoming who you want to be, it has my, at this point, favorite cdrama ship ever, yunfei my beloved!! relationship goals! friendships, funny dynamics, siblings, AMAZING characters and...so much more, I won't continue because I'll never stop lmao

UNEXPECTED [2018] Such an underrated Drama! I don't know why it's so underrated, especially because it's made by the same writer as a very popular drama (The Romance of Tiger and Rose) and the stories are very similar, which I know can be boring but they also have differences that make each drama unique, there's just the same premise of a writer traveling into their own story.

I'VE FALLEN FOR YOU [2020] The perfect rom-com historical drama, with a very fun plot and with plot twists you don't expect, such good characters and two amazing ships! Comfort drama for sure!

THE LOVE BY HYPNOTIC [2019] If you love palace romance, arranged marriage turned true love, a few crazy (but very entertaining) villains and a love story for the ages! Even though it has some very heavy moments, it's one of my comfort dramas as well, because it also includes some VERY FUNNY moments, like I just love dramas that can somehow balance comedy, romance and serious moments so well!

THE QUEEN OF ATTACK [2021] There's so many short dramas nowadays and 80% of them have the same plot of someone traveling into a story lol and yes, this is one of them BUT it's such a good drama like it's insane, I'll wish forever it was a normal length one, but it's still so good, the episodes are 9-10 mins each but there are two seasons, and the episodes have been combined, so eventually it's like having a normal drama with 12 normal length episodes (6 for s1 and 6 for s2). It's so worth it and the two actors are so talented and have such good chemistry, plus the story is unique too, yes this premise has been done many times but I think they still made it so unique and different from others.

THE STARRY LOVE [2023] A recent drama and quite popular, but I'll still recommend it always. Other than the last episode that was a bit disappointing and rushed (still a happy-ish ending though), it's my favorite Xianxia and it was just so good, the story, the cinematography, THE OST, the actors, the ships, the friendships, the sisters, ALL THE WOMEN, youqin literally making all other MLs take notes from him on how to be the best ml out there, so many reasons to watch this drama, just ignore the last part and pretend we saw what they forgot to show us lol

LOVE LIKE THE GALAXY [2022] Where do I even begin??? (This is the first Zhao Lusi drama i recommend in this list, but I just wanna mention, I recommend almost all of them.) Anyway, LLTG is by far my favorite political drama, and non wuxia/xianxia historical cdrama. It's so different and unique, there's literally nothing like it. It's a slow paced drama, with very long scenes (you might only have 3-4 scenes in one episode for example) and it's the reason why It got me a while to get to it, but now I'M SO IN LOVE WITH IT!!! There is not an episode I don't enjoy, it's pure art. Cheng Shao Shang is one of my favorite girls ever and her and Ling Buyi???? I'D DIE FOR THEIR LOVE. Their chemistry is so so so good, now Zhao Lusi can have chemistry with a tree, it's true but still, one of the best cdrama ships out there. Even though I never truly watched classic cdramas like Nirvana on Fire and those "older" ones, I think LLTG somehow is the closest to those except it also loves its characters and focuses on romance more than any older political cdrama did but it works so so well.

LIGHTER AND PRINCESS [2022] Favorite modern drama! I gotta be honest I'm not verrrryyyy into modern cdramas, I like a few, even love some, but generally it's hard to find a modern cdrama I'll go crazy over...but L&P changed that. Or well, it's still hard, maybe even harder now, to find something that tops it, but L&P is just so so good. Again, a quite popular drama, maybe it doesn't need the recommendation, but I have to mention it anyway 'cause it's my baby and I just cannot make a favorite cdramas list without it! Some reasons to watch: One of the best love stories out there, with such good angst and just everything you need on a ship, two main characters so unique that you'll definitely relate to (at least in some aspects), one of the best OSTS ever, perfect cinematography, directing and writing and one of my favorite endings on any show ever!

Some more dramas I recommend but I won't dig deeper (I talked a lot already):

Couple of Mirrors [2021]

Who Rules The World [2022]

Love Between Fairy and Devil [2022]

Young Blood [2019 - S2 starts tomorrow!]

Wait, My Youth [2019]

Zhaoyao/The Legends [2019]

Arsenal Military Academy [2019]

There's probably more but I think that's good for now, I hope I helped you find something to watch and I'm always here for more recs if you want :P <3

[maguro13-2]

Demons Unleashed ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Gaiden Pt.22 ~

Scientist A : Hey, get a load of this. Looks like the magic has finally worked this time.

Scientist B : A brilliant scientific fact I might add. It looks like this girl was supposed to be cannon in Shattered Hero : Episode Maka. But the part canon, she may have strong feet. But she's having some beefy context over those muscles of an automail. And this one chick over here is some fiesty lieutenant, the one with the alchemy tattoo on her back. See this?

Scientist A : This is truly a scientific genius, we are so bad of seeing these two Amestrians with all the beefy goodness, this is truly the power of a God! A God with all of that meaty goodness!

Scientist C : But her melons are quite the enthusiasts, they're so hot, I wanna get my d*ck rocked hard on those sweet abdomen. It's what they say, their abs are as strong like a shield of God itself, these are the true powers of God we have ever found, it's called a Kami.

Scientist D : So this what we've been finiding out these two powerful gods, a god to metal and Alchemy!

Scientist B : My Lord, the greatness of these God are too relying us, we have to take shelter for groin treatment!

Shou : Why great Gods of Fitness, why do you have such beautiful bodies to endure the greatness to our voice. Why do you refuse to let me transcend you into beasts!?

Nina : Father! Stop!

Shou : Nina! What are you doing here?

Scientist A : Dear Lord! It's awake!

Shou : !?

Scar : Amestrians. You'll pay for your transgressions!

Shou : Oh no!

[ELECTRICITY CRACKING]

" 6 years later..."

(Clock ringing+stops)

Winry : (yawning and stretching) Why am I so getting up this big? Did I grew up eventually or this is just the beginning of a new me, all of that fiber gave me the drinking of life time, I wonder if it's milk and honey. (turns on the bathroom light) Ehhh? That's funny I looked different. (looks at the mirror to show her muscular body) !? M-My bod! My perfectly Tomboyish bod! I look like a Mechanic on steroids! (screams in horror)

(scene slides)

Roy : Come on, Author. You know that the new adaptation of the Chinese martial-arts manga is going to be out. I know nothing about a Chinese. Does Curtis look like you that is about to speak Chinese? Don't get me started on this. (hangs up phone) Sheesh! When do they ever learn about bringing a Chinese shounen protag toJapan, that is the real reason Japanese mangakas know nothing about making a shounen protag chinese.

Riza : Colonel, I'm taking Hayate to the park, I'll be back as soon as possible.

Roy : That's great lieutenant. Have fun at the park. (SMASH+CRASH!) Hmm? What the heck was that? Did she just broke through the wall? That wasn't supposed to happen.

Ling Yao : Well, it's good thing that we finally brought us some chinese food if we wanted to heal ourselves with a little appetite.

Winry : Good morning, fellas. How are you doing with the chinese food?

Ling Yao : Ehh?

Lan Fan : What the...?

Mei Chang : It's a wonderful day to get the job done.

Winry : Oh hello there, Mei.

Mei Chang : Mother of Maine! It's a God! Or is this that you, Winry? You looked kinda different.

Winry : Do you know where Edward and Alphonse are at?

Mei Chang : They're at the park, playing some of kind game that will test their strength from their teacher with Arakawa's other boys, those guys are from Juushin Enbuu, also known as Hero Tales.

"At the Park..."

[Empire City (Day) - Fumie Kumatani, Tomoya Ohtani]

Izumi : Alright, boys. Put some muscle into it! Get the job done! I want you and those Arakawa exchange students from China to be a in a Tug-of-war, prove to you that who will be the greatest.

Edward : It's us vs them.

Alphonse : You bet! Let's star pulling!

Winry : Sorry that I'm late boys.

Edward : Huh? I beg your pardon to step out of the league, but we're playing tug-of-war with the--Winry!? What did you do to your self?

Winry : How do you like the new me? A muscular Winry that is now a Kami! (taps on her abdomen) Oi, oi, I feel like this is a new me!

Edward : Would you rather be a muscle woman to carry all of that buffness of yours?

Winry : Sure! Allow me to demonstrate for you when it comes to small body men. (strongly pulls the rope)

Taito : WOAAAAAH!!! *Samurai Jack SFX : Collapse*

Winry : Totally that strong!

Armstrong : Wow! I don't know how to put my finger on this, but you lovely Rockbell, is an absolute beast!

Winry : I'm no beast...I am a Kami!

*DBZ SFX : GONG BANG*

Edward : Hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina…[Alphonse joins in chanting "Homina", and then the Hero Tales group comes in and starts to chant "Homina" as well.]

Riza : Hey there, boys. Did somebody "Homina" for these guns?

Edward : Oh hey, Lieutenant. Nice to see you dropping by at the park. You see Winry has weird transformation of her body and became something like a "Kami", but what's a Kami?

Riza : It means "God" and we became one as well.

Edward : Well, I don't see your point tho, cause that's--HOLY TOLEDO!

Riza : Nice to see you playing tug of war.

Edward : How did you become one like that!?

Taito : This is a body of a real God!?

Alphonse : What the heck have you been eating!?

Winry : Well, if you don't mind! I've been working out lately, it's not like that anyone sees me as a Godly being with this kind of body! When we're packed with hotness, this rich will become liquid! You don't want these guns do ya?

Riza : I feel good in my system.

Izumi : Holy fishpaste. Those are some buff bods you got there, if only you hadn't been drinking your milk, you would've gotten a perfect body if you have a small like your automail, she has a perfect complex!

Edward : What's that supposed to mean?

Winry : Well, Edward. You don't know who's height that got the best.

Edward : What do you even mean about our heights?

Winry : It means, you have a small body and I have a big body.

Edward : Did you say...Sm...Small?

Alphonse : I'm feeling like you're getting the hang of this.

Winry : I agree!

Riza : Well, it's amazing that I do have complex of my own, but these small body men has no appetite for being this big, after all, I am a God with a muscular body.

Edward : If only calling me Small Body Men would be a great insult, I would go green if turn my tummy into abdomen machine, it's not that personal if only drink that crap instead of drinking vegetable juice!

Winry : Sure you would, and that's not at all! I have something else to show you! (removes clothes to reveal her muscular body) Dadadaaaaa! Behold, the bodies of a true Kami!

Riza : So what do you think of our godliness, Edward? Feeling jealous to our godly bodies?

Edward : You're in public at the park! Would you please put some clothes on!? You're gonna get yourselves in trouble!

Winry : No! It won't hurt a fly! But here's what I'm gonna do.

Taito : (a person taps on his shoulder) Not now, bro. Can't you see I'm looking at two Fullmetal Woman who became muscular Gods or--(gets knocked in the air) YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! *DBZ SFX : Wall Hit/Crash* (moans in pain)

Edwatd : Taito! Are you okay!? What happened!? Oh, look. It's Nintendo.

Count Bleck : Sorry for man's behavior, I beg your pardon, great Kami of Fullmetal.

Winry : Who are you, strange top hat fella?

Count Bleck : The name's count bleck and I am the leader of this here group.

"COUNT BLECK : CHAMPION OF DESTRUCTION".

[Senator - Akira Yamaoka]

Count Bleck : But you can call me the Champion of Destruction.

Riza : Could you at least bring an opportunity of why are you here?

Count Bleck : Because...we're here to find the ones they call their selves the Pure Heart hunters...I, Champion of Destruction, have a created object that has a counter part made out of pure evil and darkness, I call it the Chaos Heart, this heart will allow anyone to make anyone into a pure bred villain of destruction. And I heard that you would offer me a Pure Heart, I pressume?

Winry : Yeah, no way! I'm not here for you, don't judge me in offering of yours, I don't really need an offer. But you got the wrong one here.

O'Chunks : Listen, lady! I'm mean green machine with a full cases of a knuckle sandwiches that lays a pounding. Like it or not, you're gonna tell me on whether you get the eight pure hearts from the eight vessels, we won't harm this planet to dust when the planet gets swallowed or swallowed by the black hole.

Winry : Hold the phone, are you saying that you created a heart that will turn someone or anyone into a villain?

Mimi : Of course, now if you tag along we might get orders situated in preparations for the ultimate powers of chaos.

Winry : I think not.

O'Chunks : Eh? What you talking about, smarty pants? Is that the reason that you are going to throw some kind of punch at me?

Winry : I think so too, buddy! *DBZ SFX : STRONG PUNCH*

O'Chunks : WHY DID I EVER DESERVE THIS!? *DBZ SFX : Wall Hit/Crash* Alright, *Train whistling* NOW YOU'VE REALLY MADE ME FURIOUS!!! LET'S GO, YOU AND ME! *DBZ SFX : Melee Flash*

Riza : How about no, chunky.

Winry : I told you, I don't wanna deal with a bunch of hooligans like you all the time. You insure that you're gonna fix Arakawa's other protag to get him for health insurance!

O'Chunks : Imbeciles, have you no rights to Gender Equality!? You women have no idea whom you're dealing!

Count Bleck : Enough! *GUNSHOT* Let's call this a no-fighting zone.

Winry : Okay...I think that you got the wrong idea here. I may not be the collector of the White Pure Heart. But someone else had it.

Riza : It's not me either.

Count Bleck : Then where is the White Pure Heart collector, the eigth and final collector. Tell me where is the heart collector is...or else your so-called girlfriends are gonna get the last laugh by torturing their soles.

Winry : Not my soles! Anything but my Soles! I'm not into fetishes, you twit! I remember who is the eighth and final collector is...and I bet it's not the elric brothers either.

"Meanwhile..."

??? : So this is it. (the White Pure Heart is shown) The White Pure Heart, the one that is connected to the beloved Iris. So this is what Demon Vibe was hiding from all of this. I should've known that the evil forces were from Soul World cleverly a diversion set up to destroy Real World AU and would take over the galaxy for me. But not on my watch, don't worry, I know how to take care of the galaxy and the universe itself. This Dark Fantasy bullsh*t needs to end. I got better things to be improved.

~ Stage 26 : Search of the Missing Heart ~

[lollipencil]

SuperMoon: Part 5

This might be my favourite story I've thought of.

Enjoy and be gentle ---

Jake was staring down the barrel of a very big problem. One composed of various little problems.

The first had cuddled them inside their own head, and possibly changed them in whatever they were now. Second was that Steven was awake in Headspace, eyes wide with curiosity and confusion. Third, his neck itched like crazy.

"So, what's this place anyway?" Steven asked when the silence dragged on. "Headspace," Jake opted for honesty, given the situation. "Ok, and where's Headspace?" Steven frowned slightly. "Um, well, it's...it's like the inside of a wardrobe." "Ok?" "Yeah, you take something out when you want to wear it, and put it back when not, but it's ready for the next time you want to," Jake said frantically, hoping it made sence, "Everything has the 'owner' in common and-, and each piece of clothing is taken care of and is safe and real and I'm fucking this up, aren't I?" "No, no you're not," Steven soothed as Jake grit his teeth tightly, "It's ok. I don't really get what you're trying to say, do you think you can simplify it a bit?"

Oh, how Jake wished he could. He wished that a few simple words could smooth this whole thing out. But, he supposed, Steven was bound to eventually find out.

So Jake clenched everything he had and just said it: "We're inside the head of our shared body."

---

Dr Ilene Chen sighed internally, "So the deaths at the temple of Khonshu were caused by humans?" "Yes," the G-Team leader stated, "All have wounds consistant with bullet holes. Additionally, all members of the 'security detail' are absent. Although, we have yet to find a body for a Dr Abdallah El-Faouly, but we have found human-sized footprints leading to titan-sized ones." Ilene rolled this fact around her head. "Khonshu is associated with vengence and justice," her sister Ling replied, "It's possible that he saw these events or otherwise sensed them, and chose to save at least one member of the expedition."

Ilene nodded, "Maybe. Do we know where Khonshu is now?" "Drones have the titan on camera digging further out," G-Team Leader explained, "Looks almost like he's searching for something." Suddenly, a victorious cry split the night air. "Shit, the titan's on the move!" "Can you tell why their behaviour changed?" Ilene asked as Ling began to gather documents together. "Negative, sending in a spare drone to his previous location now." "Keep following Khonshu and see if you can get us the contact details of any living relatives of the doctor."

When the communication channel was cut off, Ilene turned to her sister. "I'll get the equipment ready," Ling said as they both left the room.

---

Abdallah couldn't sleep. The only time he tried, he was greeted with the fear-frozen, bloody faces of his colleagues and Marc's shrill screams. So he didn't.

Thankfully, Layla had opted to sleep in the living room as well.

Walking back in after getting a drink, he stopped and looked at them both. At Layla's calm and peacefullness. How Marc radiated the air of a cat lying in a sunbeam, even as his brow furrowed slightly. It was amazing, how he could be so at pease about the whole thing.

Unless it was because of the situation. The creature was clearly affectionate towards Marc, it took Abdallah promising to take care of him for the creature to reluctantly leave. Looking at Marc's feathers, it suddenly hit him.

That creature had adopted Marc. And Abdallah was babysitting.

He had to choke down a giggle. Of cource, why not? Tears of supressed laughter and cresting grief poured down his cheeks as Abdallah sat next to Marc's nest. A shaking hand settled into Marc's curls. He made no sound, but his head tilted to push into the warmth of his hand. Marc's brow relaxed minutely.

A wobbly smile worked its way onto Abdallah's face. And there he stayed, until a dreamless sleep finally claimed him.

[ghcstchild-a]

Headcanon Game

NAME: Wei Ying / Wei Wuxian

MEANING: Wei (魏) — ghosts and spirits / grand, tall or mighty; Wuxian (无羡) — to be free of envy, Ying (婴) — an infant / to pester, to touch. (c)

AKA: the Yiling Laozu / Wei Qianbei (by the juniors)

PHOTO OF YOUR MUSE THAT YOU LIKE:

(he looks angelic in the outdoor scenes with this psd, but there are so many, he's so pretty)

THREE HEADCANONS

he prefers to tell people that Chenqing was something he found in the burial mounds, but in reality, he created his own spiritual weapon from a femoral bone of a corpse and pure resentful energy of the place. the dizi resembled a living being with a consciousness of its own from the start, so to Wei Wuxian, she's always been a 'she'. to call upon the dead, one must establish a connection first, that's how she came to be known as the ghost flute, and that's where she came from.

in his Yunmeng years, he'd spend a lot of time with the junior disciples, especially when Jiang Fengmian was away. most of it was playing with them to help them relax and enjoy the simple joys of childhood, some of it was making sure madam Yu wasn't too harsh with them, taking the blame for wrongdoings when they occurred. the children of Lotus Pier always loved their shixiong for the warmth and kindness he'd radiate in their presence, and Wei Wuxian simply always adored children.

speaking of Yunmeng days, I haven't posted this here (I think?) despite rambling about it on discord, but a huge part of his troublemaker persona stems from the hatred of madam Yu. she used to punish him a lot, for anything, for pretty much existing (while the harshness of it remains questionable, he'd still get whipped on occasion and sent to the ancestral hall to kneel on a daily basis). his psyche is flexible enough, it adapts and overcomes instead of falling into the pits of self-pity and anger, so to him, it quickly turned to the mindset of 'if I'm going to be punished anyway, I might as well do something to make it feel deserved; if I'll get punished for being myself, I might as well be myself at all times'. the other part of it is, of course, the legacy of his mother.

three things your muse likes doing in their free time    ⎯⎯

drawing at leisure, just to keep his hands busy and enjoy the process.

spending time with children, works for any verse, he genuinely enjoys it and in some ways, prefers their company to that of adults, as it feels more earnest.

Lan Wangji. working on new inventions to make the everyday lives of cultivators easier and feel the elation of achieving something or bringing something that felt like a far-fetched dream concept before into being.

a phobia your muse has    ⎯⎯

dogs, obviously, it's a well-known fact. even if they're tiny, even if they're the most adorable puppies in existence. he might warm up to the latter, or even be in their presence, but only until they show their teeth. it doesn't have to be a full-on bite, just a growl and the sight of teeth is enough.

one thing your muse regrets    ⎯⎯

there are too many things. but one thing he regrets the most is accepting that damn invitation from Jin Zixuan that resulted in the first massacre and the latter's death, ad ultimately, the deaths of Wen Qing and Jiang Yanli. he regrets being the one to make his shijie suffer, and eventually losing the people he loved, despite learning later on that it wasn't his fault, because in some ways, it still was, and it all spiralled down from there.

people your character likes  /  loves    ⎯⎯

Lan Wangji, Jiang Yanli, Jiang Cheng, Wen Qing and Wen Ning, every tiny cultivator out there, but especially little Lans and Jin Ling; he likes Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen, and, in later years, Lan Qiren too. to an extent, he even grows to like Jin Zixuan.

here's a thing about Wei Ying: he doesn't hate. hatred requires a less flexible mind than his, and while some past trauma resurfaces on occasion, he tends to adapt to change rather quickly, so he doesn't wallow in it. he pities Xue Yang, he abhors the actions of Jin Guangyao yet he still doesn't really hate him, he mocks Jin Zixun and is annoyed by the guy, and still there's no burning hatred there. he treats madam Yu with respect despite the not so secret hatred she had for him. it's just not part of who he is. he can only despise himself, he doesn't crave revenge when he's the one being wronged unless it happens in a spur of the moment when he's on the verge of a breakdown. but there's an exception to everything, and that exception is Wen Chao.

stolen from: @cuckoo-among-beasts

tagging: @xiielians, @youthslost & whoever wants to do this!

[oatmealzz]

Super long rant about Link click

I think one of the flaws of the show is how there weren’t enough episodes for the first season to show the audience that the trio are actually good friends and not just co workers who live together and only talk about work.

I’m 50/50 on filler or fluff but some shows do need it to build character development and interactions. The premise of Link Click or Shiguang Dailiren. Not necessarily just because of the travel aspect, but how the three main characters interact with one another. This is not anime where opposite attract magically works where two characters can be very different and the antithesis of each other and still get along, but a more realistic show of how two very different polar opposite’s who happen to somehow be friends, work together doing very serious work and how eventually it leads to a bad end for one of them - because of how their different work styles and values clash at the end.

After rewatching Victorious as an adult, I come to realize that the main cast totally hated each other and it was surprising that they bothered hanging out with each other, if most of the time none of the (female) cast had anything positive to say about each other.

Anyways. As an adult with similar circumstances to the main trio in terms of being recent uni grads, owning debt and having your best friends be your co workers (but not also my housemates), I see their situation as a lesson that I had to learn that - sometimes it’s not idea to owe your close friend a lot of money. Also like you can be good friends with someone who is the polar opposite of you (somehow) but that doesn’t mean you two would be great co workers by any means. I learned this when me and my friends thought it was a good idea to start a club in school and run guest speaker events and all. Turns out it’s really stressful and I don’t enjoy having disagreements with my friends on how to manage money. Becoming co workers with your friends can honestly hurt the friendship because sometimes when you see your friends, you might only talk to them about work if work is really taxing or stressful.

For example, CXS and LG are good friends who are polar opposites in every way possible. They have different values, life experiences and just generally work differently. More often than not, they disagree on many things. Link click shows that these two do not work well together. LG micromanages CXS and the latter still finds ways to mess up. I get the impression that LG has nothing positive to say about CXS because I rewatched this show countless times and noticed how LG has almost nothing positive to say about his friend. The promotional material shows them being close friends and what not, I just don’t buy it. CXS clearly annoys LG. CXS will talk about something non-work related to LG and LG will immediately change the subject back to work. Clearly he just isn’t interested. Also like the whole thing of keeping details hidden from CXS because LG doesn’t trust him is a red flag. He’s told him so many things to stick with the script and CXS doesn’t which messes things up. All this actions should not be happening. This is how you piss people off enough that they don’t want to talk/work with you. This kinda happens at the end when they take a pause and things get awkward between them.

If anything, Link Click is a great example of how polar opposites aren’t always so cool. Because in real life, if you weren’t obligated to work with them and share the same room together, you prob wouldn’t even be friends with them or even talk to them outside of work.

Another thing is that Cheng Xiaoshi owes Qiao Ling (family) a lot of money. That’s just not a good idea and those who disagree, you will eventually come to agree with me. It’s not like oh but they are really good friends and they must trust enough - no it’s just not a good idea anyone above 20 knows. It’s a rookie mistake that everyone eventually makes. Don’t involve your friends with money. Also Qiao Ling is their landlady soooo -

Guys - I’m Chinese, recently graduated and I worked with friends in work place settings (outside of retail) where you had to do very serious adult things. I see Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang clash when they work together and sometimes when you have an argument with your friend about something that happened at work, you want to have that type of separation when you are out of work. They both don’t have that divide since they both work and sleep in the same room. For those who know what’s it’s like to experience you and your best friend being great friends but not so great when you two room together, work together etc you know where I’m getting at.

The friend group was eventually going to fall apart. All of Qiao Ling’s lines are about money or work. Lu Guang had almost nothing positive to say to/about Cheng Xiaoshi during the entire show. Again I know there is the promotional materials but honestly, to the average viewer who doesn’t see that - this might be the impression that they might get. There are cultural differences but there is also just real life.

Anyway this is a lot. This show was dubbed in over 10 different languages but only like 10 people outside of China has seen it. Thanks for reading my autistic rant on a show no one has seen.

[veraverorum]

Post the following:

- top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular)

-your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year

-your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

-your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year

-and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this (last) year!

Not difficult to chose 5 out of uh... 7 but anyway

Song [xisang] [Lan Xichen enters seclusion and eventually comes out of it a different person]

Assigned boyfriend at new year's party [moshang] [Shang Qinghua goes to a new year's party at his parents house. He didn't mean for Mobei-jun to be his +1, but...]

For touching you I don't know what I'd give away [xisang] [It had not been love at first sight, probably, but surely it had been lust -and finally, for the first time in his life, Lan Xichen understood how his father had felt when he had met his beloved mother many years prior]

Oral fixation - fingers [xisang] [If he were to think about it - and be terribly honest with himself-, Lan Xichen might say that he had always had a penchant to… occupy his mouth with something]

Ω [lingzhui] [Somehow, Lan Sizhui's origins had become public knowledge. (or: Jin Ling has a plan. Nobody else said it was a good plan. Ever.)]

Not sure I'm actually excited about posting any fic but there are some xisang I would like to finish. And the second/last chapter of the lingzhui fic. And a LiuJiu fic i have started writing.

Didn't have any improvement. I got worse at writing actually since I had no time nor energy to spend on it TT___TT

Hope to write more this year. And to not let myself be scared of writing and posting (even the most dead dove stuff)

I have some really nice oneliners, but I'm quite fond of this one for smitten Jin Ling reasons XD

"From afar, Lan Sizhui smiled to him in that indulgent way of his, the smile he seemed to reserve only for Jin Ling that fell between a sweet turn up of the corner of his lips and a pleased grin. At least, Jin Ling liked to think that he was the only one at the receiving end of that specific smile."

I've been tagged by both @marsdiogenes and @ibijau

Not tagging anyone specifically, but feel free to do this please~

[dotthings]

Was happy to see the A18-49 demo went back up a bit on Kung Fu this week, probably due to all the markets knocked out by the Verizon-Nexstar mess being restored.

Been a while since I've talked about Kung Fu so I decided to take some notes on this week's ep. I used to tweet about Kung Fu a lot but since I'm not on twitter any more, I might start doing more episode reaction blogging here.

Season 3, episode 5 "The Harvest"

Pei-Ling and Xiao -- it's a common trope in heroic narratives like Kung Fu that the hero loses her mentor. It's not all that often she gets her mentor back. I'm really enjoying this arc about the resurrection of Pei-Ling, Nicky's mentor, and Pei-Ling's internal fight being possessed by Xaio.

There's quite a lot of symbolism about women being trapped in this ep. Xiao was locked in a mystically sealed cage and starved to death. Henry and Nicky research a way to free Pei-Ling that involves a candle from the Salem witch trials era, to expel Xiao from Pei-Ling, that involves a magical candle used to exorcise evil spirits from accused witches. Henry mentions the women were falsely accused, just to add another level to it. And Pei-Ling has a chain around her ankle in case Xiao takes over and becomes a danger.

Simon and Zhilan -- he gives her his sword, that was sweet. I know she killed him once but I kinda ship it. Zhilan having to watch Simon die again though, ouch. Even though the first time it was her fault.

Zhilan and Pei-Ling -- eventually the narrative of the two sisters intersect. Zhilan and Pei-Ling each fighting their enemy in a non-corporeal kind of place. The set design on this series is lovely. Both places are in black & white (Pei-Ling's mind battle with Xiao) or washed out gray (Zhilan's with the soul eater), with splashes of red. Turns out the soul taker and Xiao are linked and Xiao is feeding on the light of the souls, something both Henry and Pei-Ling see during the ritual. (Henry seems deeply shaken after, maybe because of his role as the compass, it affected him a certain way).

"My mind is like a cage...I thought the poison I felt was your anger. I know now it wasn't your anger. It was fear." Pei-Ling contains Xiao by shutting her in a mental cage. "My mind, my rules." (One of Kung Fu's EP's is Robert Berens who worked on SPN, and this put me in mind of Dean Winchester containing AU Michael in his mind--"I'm the cage.") It's not going to hold Xiao forever, but Pei-Ling (like Dean) has a strong will so it should hold for a while.

Jin -- Jin seems like he should be the politician and run for office since this guy he's working for seems a bit shady.

Althea and Evan solving crimes together for hire is fun. Althea Shen, PI.

Nicky and Henry -- so Nicky and Henry are very much broken up right now but when Nicky's worried about Pei-Ling, she turns to Henry. Only after Ryan suggests it. Nicky is trying to give Henry his space. But as soon as she's face to face with Henry, she shows her fear and vulnerability and it's clear she relies on him still. Just something about couples who break up and then at the first sign of trouble, draw together again and act protective and are there for each other. I realize this might not mean the romantic relationship is going to be restored or healed anytime soon necessarily, but the bond between Nicky and Henry is a strong tie regardless and I really enjoy them.

Zhilan and Pei-Ling --

Nicky and Bo -- there is nothing wrong with Bo except he's not Henry. I won't hold it against him. Bo was right to step back when Nicky seemed that distracted and every time he turns around, she seems to be running back to her ex, whose apartment she was living in while Henry was gone. But Nicky does seem to be into Bo and wants to make that work. We'll see where that winds up.

Mei-Li, Carrie, and Sebastian -- there's a rich small arc in this ep about privilege and culture told via the lens of food. I really like how this show gets written. Carrie (played by the wonderful Kim Rhodes), a white woman, giving lectures to Mei-Li and Sebastian about what can and can't count on the menu of a Chinese restaurant, for an "authenticity" that by Carrie's own words, is a corporate business consideration mandate. "For the brand." Carrie's corporate voice was insisting on a purity, but not an authentic one--it was a purity of brand based on marketing not the views of the two Asian people she works with. Carrie spoke over them. Sebastian rightfully calls Carrie out policing Sebastian's Filipino dish, although he cuts short of saying the blunt words we know were about to come out of his mouth. And I don't think he's wrong. Mei-Li works things out with Carrie more gently, and assures Sebastian's Filipino dish stays on the menu, then asks Sebastian to be more gentle with Carrie, who is a partner with them. There's a lot of layers there on different approaches, maybe different generational approaches too, in calling people on white privilege. I don't like that Carrie is snooping into Sebastian's background, although I think Carrie is a decent person. She is no doubt still concerned about "the brand" and the success of the restaurant and worried about Sebastian but I think she's going to have more of her assumptions disrupted. Should be interesting to see how Carrie and Mei-Li navigate each other, and how Mei-Li and Sebastian's friendship fits orbiting that.

[lafiametta]

I'm coping with the news with high drama 🙃 I was thinking about your 1899 NY au and.. what if one of the rare women who works at the same factory Olek does started to take an interest in him? Maybe she's Polish too? 🤔 Like Ling Yi said, he isn't like other men, and if he pretended not to be in a relationship or kept it vague, what would he do if someone made an advance on him? Would he tell Ling Yi? How would she react? I love everything you have to say about this couple and I hope you're doing well. Stay positive! We will stay strong as a fandom!

Just this morning I was wondering where all my 1899 anons had gone and then I got the notification for this very fun ask, so thank you, anonymous friend! I've loved getting all these asks about the show (both the ones specific to Olek and Ling Yi and the general ones), and so even with the very sad news about the show, please know that my inbox always remains open — I'm happy to try to answer any questions anyone has!

Anyway, to answer your question about the 1899 New York AU, it would be really interesting to imagine Olek's reaction to another woman's interest and how he would handle the situation. You're totally right that there likely wouldn't be very many women working in the same factory as him; there tended to be a fair amount of segregation by gender in factory work (women didn't work in heavy industry, for example), and even within a single factory, they would often be separated, with men working in one part of it and men in another.

In the story, I gave Olek a job in a shoe factory, and while it isn't likely he would be working side-by-side a woman, there might be one working on a different floor, doing less skilled labor. But maybe she might see him, learn that he's Polish, get to talking to him a little during a scheduled break or lunch? Maybe it turns out they're from villages not too far away from each other or they have mutual acquaintances? Maybe she starts sharing some of the food she brings from home, after seeing how nostalgic — and hungry — he looks at the sight her mother's pierogi ruskie? (And of course he doesn't mention that he lives with a woman, because he's trying to keep that fact under wraps.) Part of me would love to imagine Olek being so relatively clueless when it comes to women that he wouldn't realize when the interest has switched from friendly into something decidedly more direct. It would definitely be after the food sharing, maybe even after several "accidental" brushes of her hand against his arms and shoulders... perhaps after she invites him back to dinner at her family's apartment to enjoy more of her mother's cooking?

Once he realized, Olek would naturally be so red-faced and awkward. He wouldn't want to hurt her feelings — now that he understands that she has feelings — but he wouldn't want to lead her on. There might be some stammering or some mumbling as he tried to figure out what to say, eventually just telling here that she was a very nice girl, but that he was engaged to someone else. (I don't think he would go so far as to lie about being married; lying about being engaged might be the most he would do — and of course it would naturally lead him to think about being engaged, and what that might entail.) After that, Olek being the conflict-avoidant guy that he mostly is, I could see him just trying to mostly avoid her at break times.

I also suspect that Olek would tell Ling Yi nothing about this other girl. I mean, in a practical sense, it would be hard for him to convey the information, much less in the kind of nuanced way that the situation demands. I also think that he would never want to burden her with anything that he didn't have to; what would be the point of telling her about another girl? His heart belonged solely to her, so what would it accomplish to make her think anything else might be possible? (He knows that she wonders about his relationship to other girls — it's literally the first thing she asks him in their common language.) So I don't think he would tell her, allowing her to stay blissfully unaware of the entire situation.

An alternative scenario — and one that I think would be just as likely, if not more so, than the Olek-meets-a-Polish-girl-at-his-job scenario — is one where his brother and sister-in-law are secretly (or maybe not so secretly) trying to separate Olek from Ling Yi by getting him to start seeing a girl from their neighborhood. When Olek and Ling Yi first arrive in Brooklyn, it might not be immediately clear to Janusz and Agnieszka what the nature of Olek and Ling Yi's relationship is (as an unmarried couple, they definitely wouldn't be sleeping in the same bed under Janusz's roof) and I could totally see them going the whole, "Hey, my friend from church has a younger sister, so sweet and devoted to her family, maybe you should meet her?" route. Olek being Olek, he might agree to be introduced to the girl after church, just for politeness' sake, but after that, he puts a big halt on the matchmaking attempts. (Among a number of other things, it's part of what convinces him that he and Ling Yi need to leave Brooklyn and live on their own.)

So I clearly had a lot to say about this question, Anon — maybe some of this needs to show up in a prompt fill at some point! :)

[robininthelabyrinth]

Now that NHS revenge quest of the past decade is over, he wants friends again. He decides to start with an equally lonely person, Jiang Cheng, who does not have a say in the matter.

ao3

“We’re not friends,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Aren’t we?” Nie Huaisang asked. He didn’t show any shame at having unexpectedly come to visit or at being turned away; instead, he just tapped his fan against his lower lip. “Really? I hadn’t the slightest notion.”

Jiang Cheng felt a shiver go down his spine, which he hadn’t really expected. It was Nie Huaisang, after all, and even if he’d somehow turned out to be a lot more than anyone would’ve expected, well, how dangerous could he really be?

“And to think! For all these years, I’ve been giving you the friend discount.”

Jiang Cheng stiffened. “The…friend discount?”

“Yeah! On all of the trade between our sects, or which our sects enable. All those trade routes and merchants, the tariffs and taxes, the cultivation base materials, the food…”

Jiang Cheng felt cold. Qinghe under Nie Huaisang wasn’t the cultivation powerhouse it had been under Nie Mingjue, but it was still incredibly powerful, a full-on Great Sect, and moreover one of the most practically minded ones: they had their fingers in every merchant’s guild, every serious artisan’s house, every major farm…and loans, of course. Nie Mingjue had been very generous, and set very favorable terms for both trade and repayment all the way back when Jiang Cheng had been rebuilding his sect, and Nie Huaisang had never altered them.

Jiang Cheng’s yearly budget depended on those terms.

“Such a pity,” Nie Huaisang said, and sighed. “Well, it’s all right. If we call due the notes on your dyer’s guilds, we’ll have the money for an amazing New Year’s ceremony.”

The Jiang sect relied heavily on their dyers’ guild – Jiang Cheng had rebuilt the Lotus Pier in large part with their income and their help. In turn, the dyers had been a little extravagant recently, living a little beyond their means in order to take advantage of the current good times; if their debts were called in, they would turn to the Jiang sect and demand help, and he’d have no choice but to honor that.

His treasury would be emptied, and he might need to call in his own debts, and that would be catastrophic to the Jiang sect’s reputation as a Great Sect.

“Wait,” he said.

Nie Huaisang smiled at him. The smile had teeth.

“…I misspoke,” Jiang Cheng said, teeth gritted together. “Of course we’re friends.”

“Oh? That’s great! Jiang-xiong!”

Jiang Cheng found himself in the uncomfortable position of being hugged by his blackmailer.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re doing this?” he eventually asked.

“Mm,” Nie Huaisang said. He hadn’t let go yet. “I’m lonely.”

Jiang Cheng closed his eyes briefly. “…perhaps it was that decade-long revenge quest that made people wary of you?”

“Maybe? Seems like an overreaction. I’m not that clever, really.”

“You just blackmailed me into being your ‘friend’.”

“Well, yes. But you don’t actually mind because being forced into it is the only way you’d accept that you’re worthy of being someone’s friend.”

Jiang Cheng opened his mouth, affronted.

“Go on, name one person that you’re friends with. Jin Ling doesn’t count.”

Wei Wuxian probably didn’t count either.

“That doesn’t mean I like being blackmailed!”

“No? Wasn’t that the entire basis of your relationship with san-ge?”

It really had been.

“And you mostly liked him.”

…he kind of had.

“So why not me, too?”

Jiang Cheng rubbed his forehead. “First you pick up his scheming, next you pick up blackmail…Do you want to be Chief Cultivator, too?”

“Do you?”

Jiang Cheng scowled at him.

Nie Huaisang arched his eyebrows at him. “I’m serious. Do you want it? You could have it. Jin Ling would back you, and so would I if it was what you wanted. Er-ge is in seclusion, I’m untrustworthy, and Jin Ling is too young – you’re a reasonable choice. The best choice, even.”

Jiang Cheng thought about it.

Then he actually thought about it.

“I would hate it,” he said, suddenly horrified. “I already deal with enough people as it is!”

Nie Huaisang patted him on the shoulder. “There, there. If you don’t want the job, you can support me and I’ll take it. As a favor to a friend.”

Jiang Cheng was pretty sure he’d just been manipulated into supporting Nie Huaisang’s bid to be Chief Cultivator, but he didn’t actually care because Nie Huaisang was right. He really was the most logical option – it was traditional for Chief Cultivator to be the sect leader of one of the Great Sects, and all the others were in fact not appropriate for the reasons Nie Huaisang had listed. If he didn’t get someone else to take the job, he’d be well and truly stuck with it!

“Hey, jiujiu, are you in – hey!” Jin Ling glared at Nie Huaisang. “What are you doing here?”

“Jin Ling!” Jiang Cheng snapped. “Be polite!”

“What? But –”

“Be polite! Sect Leader Nie is a friend of mine, and your elder, even if your social rank is the same. Don’t forget your manners!”

Jin Ling mouthed the word ‘friend’.

“We’re very good friends,” Nie Huaisang said virtuously. “I’m doing Jiang-xiong all sorts of favors.”

Like keeping people away from him.

Jiang Cheng nodded.

Jin Ling looked between them and, for some reason, turned bright red. “Jiujiu!” he exclaimed. “Why him?”

“…who else?” Jiang Cheng asked, slightly bewildered. “He’s the most suitable.”

It wasn’t like Lan Xichen could be Chief Cultivator from seclusion. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian weren’t qualified, not as anything more than a temporary role, and anyway they were too busy rolling around in their sheets to actually take the time to do the job properly. And it would be even more inappropriate for it to be someone from one of the smaller sects!

“But – but – but jiujiu…!”

Nie Huaisang started snickering.

“What is it now?” Jiang Cheng asked him, feeling long-suffering. “Some new way to get me over a barrel?”

“Jiujiu!”

Nie Huaisang was now laughing. “Jiang-xiong,” he said, wiping his eyes. “Jiang-xiong…would you like me to get my birth characters? To do it properly?”

“No!” Jin Ling exclaimed.

“What?” Jiang Cheng asked. “Why would you need –”

Belated understanding arrived.

“I’m not sleeping with him!” he howled. “A-Ling!”

“This will be a very good friendship,” Nie Huaisang said happily. “A very good one.”

[guzhuangheaven]

Guzhuang Appreciation Month: badass dialogues

(but in the novel)

legend of ruyi :: ep 5 // ep 78

This drama is so amazing, demonstrated by these two scenes. Here you have Ruyi and Hongli watching the same play at two different stages in their lives. In episode 5, they are still clearly in love and are happy watching the play together, leaning lovingly against each other and moving in unison as one. They are also being watched fondly by Aruo, who has yet to have ideas of betraying Ruyi. Many years later, in episode 78, we have Ruyi and Hongli watching the same play, but they are physically far apart and their emotional distance from each other is also clear on their faces. They are literally being divided by the presence of Ling Yunche standing between them.

I find the parallel between the closeups of Aruo and Ling Yunche the most heartbreaking, because Aruo, despite how happy she looks for them in ep 5, would eventually try to break Ruyi and Hongli apart. And yet for all her efforts, she never succeeds because Hongli never actually believes her. On the other hand, Ling Yunche never tries to get in between Ruyi and Hongli, but just the mere presence of him is enough for Hongli to drive a wedge between himself and Ruyi. The presence of Aruo and Ling Yunche in this scene drives home the stark contrast in how the relationship has deteriorated between Ruyi and Hongli, and how Hongli went from trusting Ruyi despite all evidence against her to believing the worst of her despite no real evidence. 

What is even more heartbreaking is the play they are watching. It’s not made very clear in the drama, but the plot of the play has great significance in the novel. The play they are watching is called 墙头马上 / Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. The play is based on the poem 井底引银瓶 Silver Vase at the Bottom of the Well by Bai Juyi.

The poem by Bai Juyi, writes of a broken relationship/friendship where two people once lived happily in harmony, then one person wronged the other, causing the other person to leave and never come back; the relationship is thus severed. 

When the poem was adapted into the play 墙头马上 / Over the Wall and Atop a Horse, the play tells the story of Pei Shaojun falling in love at first sight with Li Qianjin when she was standing by a wall and he was on a horse riding by her house. The two then eloped, and lived together for seven years, having two children together, before they were discovered by Pei Shaojun’s father. Upon the discovery, Li Qianjin was condemned for getting into a clandestine relationship and Pei Shaojun caved to parental pressure and divorced her. She went back to her hometown. Many years later, after having achieved political success, Pei Shaojun went looking for Li Qianjin again, and just happened to discover that the two of them were actually engaged as children. In the play, they then reunited, got remarried and lived happily ever after.

There is however a plot point in the Ruyi novel, where Qingying does not like the ending of the play, feeling that the happy ending was forced. In the novel, Hongli and Qingying only know each other in passing at first. Then on the day that Hongli chooses his wives, Qingying is made to attend by her aunt. Before the selection ceremony, everyone is invited to watch a play, and Hongli chooses Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. Qingying, because she dislikes the happy ending, asks the theatre troupe to change the ending of the play so that in the end, Li Qianjin does not actually get back together with Pei Shaojun but stays firm in her resolve to end the relationship between them. After the play ends, Qingying leaves before the selection, but Hongli becomes intrigued by her changed ending and chases after her. This conversation below ensues, in which you can see clearly how Qingying’s belief on the matter stayed constant with her through the years. In fact, she practically predicts her own fate later with her changed ending.

~*~

Qingying stepped lightly ahead, her gown fluttering in the breeze like a white butterfly in flight. Aruo’s face was robbed of all colour and she was crying in despair. “Gege, what is wrong with you? Everything was well, why did you change the ending of the play? If Huang Hou Niang Niang hears about it, what will you do?”

Qingying shrugged. “At most, Aunt will just scold me a little. I just don’t like that ending. Today, I finally got to see how it should be played out. I’m so happy!”

“Gege might be happy,” Aruo said miserably, “but today is the consort selection. If Gege you are not chosen, then what would we do?”

Qingying’s aunt had already intended her to be the Third Prince’s bride, and now that was not successful, she should be pushed to the Fourth Prince instead? If they needed this one forced marriage to prolong their family’s glory, would that mean all women of the Ulanara clan were little better than slaves? It would be better this way. Regardless of whether she succeeded at being chosen to be a prince’s consort or not, she got to see things done her way, for once.  

She only managed a few steps more when suddenly a voice called behind her. “Qingying Meimei!”

No one had ever called her that before. Everyone in the palace simply called her “Qingying Gege”. Curious, she turned her head to find that Hongli was chasing after her.

Thinking that he must wish to reprimand her, Qingying made herself as small as possible.

Hongli only laughed. “I chased after you to comfort you. Xiyue Gege was rude in speech, I feared that you would be offended.”

“Offended? About what?” Qingying asked in a low voice. “Fourth Prince, do you mean to mention the fact that I was rejected by the Third Prince?”

Hongli nodded, frowning. “I only fear such talk will destroy your reputation.”

Qingying laughed, all her teeth showing, against all rules of decorum, which seemed to astonish Hongli.

“I don’t care!” she declared. “There are many things that women can’t necessarily decide for themselves, such as marriage, or family. But at least, I can decide whether to mind those mocking talks, whether to care about them and let them hurt me.”

Hongli looked sad for a moment, whispering, “Your family…” But then he trailed off. Then, with a humourless smile, he said, “Over the Wall and Atop a Horse is the play I chose myself, why did you not like the ending and asked them to change it? I pick a plum blossom, lean against the wall. / You ride off among the bending poplars*. Is that not a lovely image?”

“Yes, it is very nice, it’s just…” Qingying thought a moment then said, “Over the wall and atop a horse we gaze at each other. / I know you, too, must be heartbroken*. From this beginning, the play is full of conflicts, ups and downs, all very compelling, yet in the end, there is a forced happy ending, everyone is forced to be happy, I really don’t like it at all.”

[* excerpts from the poem by Bai Juyi]

Hongli looked displeased, asking, “To be able to mend a broken mirror, husband and wife reunited and at peace again, is that not good?”

“When Li Qianjin was being insulted by Pei Shaojun’s parents, he did not protect her. He watched her leave in humiliation and did not stop her, as if all the love and years they shared did not matter. Such a heartless and weak man who dares not protect his woman, why would Li Qianjin want to get back together with him?”

Her voice was soft, but also full of conviction. Even though it went against Hongli’s beliefs, he wanted to keep her talking.

“To be reunited and together in harmony is the wishes of all families on earth. If Pei Shaojun is willing to start over, why would Li Qianjin not forgive him?”

“Why must a woman always forgive a man for his failings? Wouldn’t that teach the man that it doesn’t matter what hurt he causes? I don’t care, if he hurt her, she shouldn’t forgive him.”

“Women must be soft and gentle, and give into her husband. If she sacrifices a little, bears a little hurt feeling, they can be reunited, isn’t that happiness?”

“If she must be hurt, must sacrifice herself for this forced reunion, then it is already not a good marriage,” Qingying said stubbornly. “In my eyes, Li Qianjin is a woman who is willing to walk away, to severe the relationship, because all trust is gone.”

“If she walks away, wouldn’t that mean she spends the rest of her life alone? Everyone has their own difficult moments, if Li Qianjin is so stubborn, Pei Shaojun is put in a difficult position too.”

“Who isn’t in a difficult position?” Qingying asked. “If the woman can understand the man’s difficulties, can a man not understand a woman’s pain of being cast aside and humiliated?”

Hongli thought for a moment then laughed. “Qingying Meimei, you are much too unbending.”

Qingying merely nodded. “It’s better to live the rest of your life alone, rather than live to old age with someone who already betrayed you once. So it might be harmonious today, but if a conflict arises, what is to say Pei Shaojun will not just forsake Li Qianjin again? It is easy to change mountains**, that is the principle here.”

[** there is a Chinese saying that it is easier to change the course of rivers and shapes of mountains than to change the character of a person… aka old habits die hard but with more stakes.]

Hongli still did not agree with her logic. “Women should place obedience before all and be pliable. If she does not restrain herself and be more accepting for the greater good, then she would just suffer.”

“If one must accept being humiliated for a so-called happy ending, then I don’t want that kind of happy ending,” Qingying repeated.

“Then is Over the wall and atop a horse we gaze at each other so easily forgotten?” Hongli asked, astonished.

Qingyin turned and stared at Hongli. “If it is not easily forgotten, then why didn’t Pei Shaojun protect Li Qianjin? Hasn’t he too forgotten how they once loved each other when he cast her aside?”

Hongli could not argue against her, and finally admitted defeat. “Meimei, you really are something, I don’t know what else to say.”

Qingying laughed in delight.

“Meimei,” Hongli said, stepping closer to her, “you argued so animatedly, you must love Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. Why don’t we go back and hear the play again?”

Qingying hesitated, thinking that it would be a great loss of face if she were to return now. But Hongli was looking at her so earnestly, she found it hard to immediately refuse.

“I’ll go back first, and prepare good tea to wait for you.”

He said ‘wait’, as if he would not move the day along if she did not come. Her heart softened, and she suddenly stopped in her path.

…

[And then of course Qingying comes back to attend the selection. Hongli, who had originally intended to choose Langhua, changes his mind and chose Qingying to be his di fujin, but then Yongzheng interfered and put a stop to it… But the play is one massive foreshadowing plot device that doesn’t get explained much in the drama, but packs a punch when you read this scene.] -h

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Jin Guangyao isn't cruel because he is nice sometimes! No... no... just no. He pretends to be a nice, sweet person to get what he wants, it is exactly why he got away with the killings and plannings for the Yin Hu Fu, YEARS AFTER JIN GUANGSHAN IS OUT OF THE PICTURE. He's the only legitimate Jin left old enough to take over the Sect, who the hell was gonna argue that when all relevant Jins were dead and Nie Mingjue was killed by the happy smiling pretty boy?

First example, he was actively friends with Xue Yang, there is no saying he was coerced into that one since he recommended him as a guest disciple and made creepy little jokes with him.

Jin GuangYao sighed, “I only turned around for a second and you stirred up so much trouble for me. I only had to pay for a bowl of dumplings in the beginning, and now I have to pay for his table, chairs, pots and pans, and even bowls.”

Xue Yang, “You’ll miss the couple of coins?”

Jin GuangYao, “No.”

Xue Yang, “Then why are you sighing?”

Jin GuangYao, “I don’t think you’ll miss the couple of coins either. Why can’t you try being a normal customer once in a while?”

Xue Yang, “Back in Kuizhou I never paid for anything I wanted. Just like this.” As he spoke, he casually plucked off a stick of sugared haws off a vendor’s pole. It might be the first time the vendor saw such a shameless person. As he stared open-mouthed, Xue Yang took a bite, “Besides, you can deal with the trouble of me wrecking a tiny stall, can’t you?”

Jin GuangYao smiled, “You little delinquent. Wreck stalls however you want. I wouldn’t even care if you burned down the entire street. Just one thing—don’t wear the Stars Amidst Snow robes and cover up your face. Don’t let anyone know who did it, or it’d be trouble for me.”

He tossed the money to the vendor

A.K.A: haha you're funny and I don't care who you fuck over but be sly and

Next example:

And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources on these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. Among them, not many achieved anything, while the one who walked the furthest was the youngest Xue Yang, recommended by Jin GuangYao alone.

Jin GuangYao was overjoyed. He accepted him as a guest cultivator and gave him high rights and freedom. The corpse training ground was an area of land Jin GuangYao specially requested for Xue Yang for him to research in secrecy, which meant for him to fool around however he wanted to.

He gave a whole torture playground for Xue Yang to use, he specifically asked for this from his own mouth, for Xue Yang to use and he would check in on progress. As for his morals:

Jin GuangYao’s tone was somewhat reproachful, “He Su gongzi is a respected cultivator, after all. How could you refer to him in such a disrespectful way?”

The cultivator laughed coldly, “I’ve already fallen in your hands. What are you keeping up the pretense for?”

Jin GuangYao responded with a kind expression, “You don’t have to look at me like that. I also had no choice. To elect a chief cultivator is an irresistible trend. What was the use of stirring up trouble and seeking arguments everywhere? I’ve already warned you again and again, yet you were determined not to listen to me. Under these circumstances, things are already beyond redemption. From the bottom of my heart, I, too, feel utmost pain and regret.”

He Su, “What was the irresistible trend? What was stirring up trouble? Jin GuangShan wanted to establish the position of chief cultivator only to imitate the QishanWen Sect in being the only one at the top. Do you think all the world is ignorant? You frame me like this only because I spoke the truth!”

Jin GuangYao smiled, saying nothing. He Su continued, “When you really succeed, all of the world of cultivation would see the true face of the LanlingJin Sect. Do you think killing me alone would put you eternally at ease? How wrong you are! We, the TingshanHe Sect, teem with talent. From now on, we’ll unite and never surrender to you Wen-dogs of another skin!”

Hearing this, Jin GuangYao squinted slightly, the corners of his lips curving up. It was the usual kind, gentle expression. Seeing this, He Su felt his heart skip a beat. At the same time, commotion sounded outside the corpse training ground, among it the cries of women and children.

He Su spun around, only to see a group of LanlingJin Sect cultivators drag inside sixty or seventy people all wearing the same uniform. There were men and women, old and young. Every one of them was a cross between shock and fear, while some were already crying. Both tied up, a girl and a boy kneeled on the ground as they wailed at He Su, “Ge!”

He Su was shocked speechless, his face instantly as white as paper, “Jin GuangYao! What are you doing?! It’s enough if you kill me—why drag my entire sect along?!”

Jin GuangYao looked down and fixed his sleeves, still grinning, “Weren’t you yourself the one who reminded me just now? Even if I killed you, I wouldn’t be put eternally at ease. The TingshanHe Sect teems with talent, and from now on, you’d unite and never surrender—I was quite frightened. After much thought, this was the only thing I could come up with.”

Among the group are children. That he did see and stare at gleefully as he lets Xue Yang decide to use all of them for corpse experiments. What does that mean??? Maybe that Jin Guangyao is also not in fact best uncle as he similarly was willing to kill Jin Ling who he "loved" as bait to try running away and is more than willing to use his "friends" for his own rise to power or to run away.

Examples of him enjoying emotionally torturing others as much as Xue Yang as a tactic:

Example 1:

“That’s not the way to go about things, is it? The TingshanHe Sect rebelled and schemed to assassinate Sect Leader Jin with all its forces before it was caught red-handed. How could that be called without a reason?”

The ones overhead cried, “Ge! He’s lying! We didn’t, we didn’t!”

He Su, “Utter nonsense! Open your eyes and fucking look! There are nine-year-old children here! Old men who can’t even walk! How could they rebel against anything?! Why would they assassinate your dad out of nowhere?!”

Jin GuangYao, “Because you made a mistake and committed murder, Young Master He Su, while they refused to accept Koi Tower’s conviction of you, of course.”

He Su finally remembered the accusation for which he was transferred to such a creepy place, “It’s all made up! I never killed a cultivator of the LanlingJin Sect! I’ve never even seen the person who died! I don’t even know if he was really a cultivator from your sect! I… I…”

He stammered for a while before eventually caving in, “I… I don’t even know what happened, I don’t even know!”

Yet, at such a place, nobody would listen to his protests.

Example 2:

Just as he was about to move, Jin GuangYao smiled, “HanGuang-Jun, it’s best if you take five steps back.”

Wei WuXian suddenly felt a small, sharp sting come from his neck. Lan XiChen lowered his voice, “Be careful. Do not move!”

Lan WangJi’s gaze landed on Wei WuXian’s neck. His face paled slightly.

An almost invisible guqin string, light and golden, was tied around Wei WuXian’s neck.

The guqin string was extremely thin. It was covered in special paint as well, making it almost invisible to the eye. Along with how disoriented Wei WuXian was, unable to pay attention to anything else, he didn’t notice it when it wrapped around his throat.

“Lan Zhan, don’t! Don’t back away!”

But Lan WangJi immediately walked five steps back without any hesitation.

Jin GuangYao, “Wonderful. Now, please sheathe Bichen.”

With a clank, Lan WangJi obeyed again. Wei WuXian raged, “Don’t ask for too much!”

Jin GuangYao quipped, “This is already asking for too much? Next, I’m even going to ask HanGuang-Jun to seal away his spiritual powers. What would that be called?”

Wei WuXian seethed, “You…”

Before he could finish, the sharp pain of flesh being lacerated came from his throat. Something dripped down his neck. Lan WangJi’s face was pale. Jin GuangYao said, “How could he not listen to me? Just think about it, Wei gongzi, his life is in my hands.”

Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Do. Not. Touch. Him.”

“Then you know what to do, HanGuang-Jun.”

A moment later, Lan WangJi responded, “Yes.”

Lan XiChen sighed. Lan WangJi raised his hands. With two strong taps, he locked his own spiritual powers.

Jin GuangYao smiled, his voice soft, “This really is…”

Lan WangJi’s eyes were locked on them, “Let him go.”

Example 3:

Wei WuXian wouldn’t have had to be responsible for a life as heavy as Jin ZiXuan’s, and the things that happened later wouldn’t have had to happen.

Yet now, he finally realized even the reason behind culprit’s curse wasn’t to frame him. Even the cause didn’t have anything to do with him!

Such a fact was truly difficult to accept.

As he laughed, Wei WuXian’s eyes reddened. He mocked, whether at himself or otherwise, “I can’t believe it’s because of someone like you… because of such a ridiculous reason!”

But Jin GuangYao seemed like he knew what he thought, “Wei gongzi, you really shouldn’t think like this.”

Wei WuXian, “Oh? You know what I think?”

Jin GuangYao, “Of course. It’s quite easy. You’re definitely thinking about how unfortunate you are. In reality, you’re not. Even if Su She didn’t curse Jin ZiXun, Mr. Wei, you’d receive a siege sooner or later, because of some other reason.” He smiled, “Because that’s what kind of a person you are. At best, you’re the untamed hero; at worst, you offend people wherever you go. Unless all those whom you’ve offended lived their lives safely, as soon as something happened to them or someone did something to them, the first person they suspect would be you and the first person they seek revenge on would also you. And this is something you have no control over.”

Somehow, Wei WuXian smiled, “What should I do? For some reason, I think you make a lot of sense.”

Jin GuangYao, “And even if you didn’t lose control at the Qiongqi Path, could you guarantee you didn’t lose control sometime in the rest of your life? Thus, someone like you is destined to have a short life. You see? Doesn’t it feel a lot better if you think about it this way?”

He takes little time in using others hurt or their protective instincts against them, and is just as gleeful to see others in powerless situations in comparison to him as it still gives him a form of control to worm his way out of everything that has caught up to him.

Jin GuangYao, “Ge, every word of what I say is true.”

His tone was more than earnest. Ever since he captured Lan XiChen, he’d indeed been treating him with respect. At this point, Lan XiChen wasn’t able to turn against him yet. He could only sigh, “Sect Leader Jin, I have already said, when you went your own way to scheme such havoc at Burial Mound, that there was no longer any need to call me ‘Brother.’”

Jin GuangYao, “What happened at Burial Mound was an accident, a mistake. But, I can’t go back anymore.”

Lan XiChen, “What do you mean you cannot go back?”

Lan WangJi frowned slightly, his voice cold, “Xiongzhang, do not engage in excessive conversation with him.”

Wei WuXian reminded him as well, “Sect Leader Lan, do you remember what you said to Sect Leader Jiang? Don’t spend too long talking to him.”

Jin GuangYao, “Ge, listen to me. I don’t deny that I did those things…”

Lan XiChen, “How could you deny them? There are both witnesses and proof!”

Jin GuangYao, “And so I said I don’t deny them! But to have killed my father, my wife, my son, ge—if not because I had no other choice, why would I have done those things? Could it be that I’m really so out of my mind in your eyes?!”

"Your… wife…” As though he couldn’t say it, he immediately changed his phrasing, "Your sister, Qin Su, did you really marry her while knowing what blood relationship you had with her?”

Jin GuangYao stared blankly at him. Suddenly, tears rolled down his eyes. He answered with pain, “… Yes.” Lan XiChen took in a deep breath. His face was almost ashen. Jin GuangYao whispered, "But I really had no choice.”

With a sigh, Lan XiChen continued, “Third, do not try to avoid it and answer me—did you plan the death of Jin ZiXuan on purpose?!”

Hearing his father’s name, Jin Ling, who’d been holding Jiang Cheng, widened his eyes.

Lan WangJi raised his voice somewhat, “Xiongzhang, you believe him?”

Lan XiChen’s expression was complicated, “Of course I do not believe that Jin ZiXuan ran into the attack at Qiongqi Path by accident, but… let him speak first.”

Jin GuangYao knew he wouldn’t be believed if he denied it no matter what. He clenched his teeth, “… I indeed didn’t run into Jin ZiXuan by accident.”

Jin Ling immediately clenched his fists.

Jin GuangYao continued, “But I’ve never thought of planning everything that happened afterward either. You don’t have to think of me as so clever and faultless. Many things can’t be controlled at all. How could I have known that he’d definitely die by Wei WuXian’s hands together with Jin ZiXun? How could I have predicted that Wei WuXian would definitely lose control and the Ghost General would definitely run a riot?”

Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “And you said you didn’t run into him by accident? Isn’t that self-contradiction?!”

Jin GuangYao, “I don’t deny that I told him about the attack at Qiongqi Path on purpose, but I only thought that he’d encounter some difficulties if he ran into you when you were being troubled by his cousin since he’d never been on good terms with you. How could I have known that you would simply kill everyone present, Wei gongzi?”

“Why was a sect leader who spent money like water unwilling to do the smallest favor and buy my mother’s freedom? Simple—it was too much trouble. My mother waited for so many years, weaving together so many difficult circumstances when she talked to me, imagining for his sake so many hardships. And the real reason was only a single word: trouble.

“This is what he said, ‘It’s especially women who’ve read some books who think they’re a level higher than other women. They’re the most troublesome, with so many demands and unrealistic thoughts. If I bought her freedom and took her back to Lanling, who knows how much fuss she’d make. It was best that I let her stay where she was just like that. With her conditions, she’d probably be popular for a few more years. She wouldn’t have to worry about her spendings for the rest of her life.’

“‘Son? Oh, forget it.’”

Jin GuangYao’s memory was extraordinary. With such a word-by-word repetition, one could even imagine that drunk expression of Jin GuangShan’s when he said these words, “Ge, look, those three words were all that I was worth to my father, ‘Oh, forget it.’ Hahahaha…”

Pain flashed before Lan XiChen’s face, “Even if your father… you…” He still couldn’t find an appropriate comment and gave up, sighing instead, “What is the use of saying all this now?”

Jin GuangYao shrugged as he smiled, “I can’t help it. To seek pity even after doing all these terrible things—that’s the kind of person I am.”

At the word ‘pity’, he suddenly flipped his wrist. A red guqin string wrapped around Jin Ling’s neck.

Tears still hung at the corners of Jin GuangYao’s eyes as he spoke, voice low, “Don’t move!”

"I had no choice", "I couldn't predict anyone would be killed" "He mocked and forgot my mother and I". He uses all of this as a try to convince a kind Lan Xichen to let him go. However,he contradicts his own defenses as he had said Wei Wuxian was always fated to die for his actions and lack of being to keep things under control. This empathy is faked on his end while he makes excuses all while he never extended the same courtesy to those he killed, innocent or not, and underhandedly still tries to get those sympathetic under his manipulations. When they are not working he resorts again to threatening lives. He uses his mother also as a reason for revenge, however his grab for power alone after Jin Guangshan and Nie Mingjue are killed was solely based on his own obsession of status at that point. His mother was no longer a goal to accomplish anything and his continued lies dragged in more than one innocent party to get what he wanted.

He never saw Jin Ling, Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji, or Wei Wuxian as anything but pawns despite his soft words to them that are really just a mockery within Guanyin Temple at that point. He has placed none of them before himself in terms of what he cares for and never had.

TL:DR: Jin Guangyao's "kindness" was always a mask and Nie Mingjue was right that he was irredeemable, genuinely unkind and cruel as a person.

(Edit: Jin Guangyao stans don't even try, I will block you if you dare to reply to this)