#if it has lmk and i'll delete it

[chameleani]

nico di angelo: wow, if I had a nickel for every time I watched annabeth chase fall to her supposed death i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but if she's the daughter of Athena--

[semiotomatics]

Fellow agender!! I know exactly 0 irl. How does it feel to be cool as hell?

feels heckin awesome my dude 🤘

but in all honesty, i also know zero others who are agender (who have come out to me/are generally out) irl and it is fascinating to meet others, cause, like being ace/aro (both of which i also am lol it's a theme), it's an orientation that i feel most people don't even know about. it's definitely one i didn't know about until adulthood, and even then, i didn't fully understand it for several years, and then didn't actually start tentatively considering myself agender until a couple years ago. i still question whether it ~technically applies bc i'll willingly identify/be perceived as my birth gender, so then i'll think "well if i'm fine with identifying as a cis woman then isn't that what i am?". but being agender is so cool and rad and there are things i've read and heard from other agender ppl that just vibe so severely with my experiences that i'd take it over being a plain jane cis woman any day 😅

[vocaloid-song-showdown]

the poll for how to arrange the brackets just finished with proceeding as originally planned winning!

so, without further ado, here are the lineups ^^

note :: songs with a * next to them may require a content warning. i'll provide specific warnings as soon as i have the time, but as of now please proceed with caution

main matchup bracket ::

alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa

magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko

world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka

triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p

meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree

fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project

daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p

rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi

madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama

senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin

doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p

jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p

the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt

heat haze days by jin / patchwork staccato by toa

six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru

aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p

setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna

a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco

my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p

chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27

blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu

law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu

sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27

monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki

cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost

hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga

meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m

the court jester by thquib / casino by azari

king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha

lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki

higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost

queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear

honorable mention bracket ::

electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m

po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p

black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p

i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem

(also a quick general note ! i don't have everything ready for a formal polished reveal at the time of posting this. i plan on updating this post with links to the songs and also a visual bracket when i have the time. they'll definitely be up soon, so make sure to check back in a bit for them ^^

i'll also make sure that reblogs are turned on for the final version!)

[a-passing-storm]

I don't think I've ever been the Long Period of Radio Silence type of depressed person, but now that my obligations are voluntary and ungraded, I am! It sucks!

[croucify]

✶ STARGIRL — hamzahthefantastic x reader

003 ✶ In Too Deep

stargirl masterfile – next – previous

SUMMARY: hamzah has a crush on a youtuber who's always out and about and slushies see their relationship progress on social media! (smau)

DISCLAIMER: reader is a brown haired girl and for some pics that aren't faceless, i'll be using olivia rodrigo cause i love her and she’s filipino like me hehehe

A/N: i added twitter in this au and if u guys have app recommendations for the fake texting stuff pls let me know!!

liked by slushyfan, aisharae, and others

ynln late night froyo (ps get urself a guy who would download ur fav album for u and put it in a cd)

view comments

user627 i thought of the sinjin song HELP

user109 is that hamzah...

user234 THE SOFT LAUNCH?!!?!

wes10 steven colbert

↳ ynln late night frozen yogurt

user935 that is literally hamzah omfg 😭😭😭

hamzahthefantastic Re eh eh ed

liked by scarvain, iloveyn, and others

ynlnupdates Y/N with Hamzah and Fans today!!! ❤️

view comments

user378 HOLY SHITTTT

user102 MY PEOPLE WTF

user446 does this make it official

user529 they look so gooddd

user817 OH MY GOD THATS ME!!!!

↳ user623 HOW WERE THEY

↳ user817 SOOOO NICE!!! and hamzah had his arm around her shoulders after we left 🥹

ynln posted on their story !

INSTAGRAM STORY WAS DELETED.

scarlet @iloveyn

DID U GUYS SEE YN'S STORY OH NY GOOODDDD

50 replies 35 retweets 103 likes

user555 I DID WHAT THE HELL

user018 she has to be talking about hamzah right

↳ user126 what did she post i didnt see :((

↳ iloveyn HERE she deleted this 3 minutes after thank god i had notifs on

↳ user126 OH MY GOD...

user927 did she think she was posting it on her burner LMAOOOOO

✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @kingvioleta @tumb1rgir1z LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!

[vanaglori-ah]

ao3 is run by zionists.

if you haven't heard, best check out this thread (the user also has a tumblr explaining everything too). it also went under my radar that apparently, the people at ao3 are sinophobic. so fuck them, honestly.

i've never donated to ao3. don't donate to ao3, one.

two, i will no longer be adding any fics on ao3. all of the ones up will stay (unless i should delete them. lmk asap). this also means i'll probably discontinue whatever series i was working on in them. it's honestly about time i abandon those projects because life has gotten a lot more serious.

three, i may move my fics to somewhere else. i will update to let you guys know.

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

[f4iry-bell]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 | 𝟏

pairing: popula!jameson hawthorne x nerd/goodgirl!reader

summary: who would have guessed taking an unwanted picture of her could lead to that tense moment? more than that, who would have thought it would get his attention to make a deal? and guys like him drain a person inside out when are interested in you.

warning: jamie being a slight jerk, very little. little over the top reader(?)

series taglist: @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @elysianwayy77 @lyra-kane @bewitchingkisses @zenikswaffleshop @off-to-the-r4ces @jamcarven (lmk if you want to be added!)

a/n: IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS WHOLE THING, YAY. a lot of jerk jamie in this fuc guys. sorry;(

word count: 1.5k

masterlist | series master list

“Did you just take a picture of me?” The tone and how sharp it was so surprising to the two boys to her side, one with the camera, and one with a stupid smile.

“Maybe.” The boy who was holding the camera didn't take her frowned brows, and dagger throwing eyes at him seriously. No one really takes her seriously, most of the time she is just invisible but definitely not today.

“Delete it.” She demanded, taking a step closer.

“Aw, don't want others to see your pretty face?” The boy holding the camera teased her, and then turned to his green eyes friend with a stupid smirk.

“I said, delete it.” she demanded again, this time more serious and firm than before.

“Or what?”

“I'll sue you. I'll take you to court, but before that I would like to formally inform the student body for violating my privacy, and I'm pretty sure you'd be dealt with by the faculty.” She didn't blink once, she adjusted her glasses after ending her threat.

“Woah, now let's not go there, princess” the green-eyed boy took a step forward with his hands in front in defense. “We don't want trouble.”

“She's bluffing.” The idiot with the camera said.

“She's not.” The other guy said without taking his gaze away from her face. And he is right. She's not bluffing.

The idiot was looking at her face, scanning to see what the other guy was seeing. “Alright, I'll delete it. I was just taking random pictures of the campus anyway.”

She was waiting for him to do it, but he didn't do it, yet. “Do it, right now.”

“I'll delete it later.” He said.

“Delete it now, Cory.” The green-eyed spoke, she almost thought he was a decent guy. Almost, until he spoke again. “We don't want our front row princess to tell on us to her teacher, now do we?” His lips curved up to a stupid, irritating smirk.

Her face could have sworn it was hot as hell from all the anger if it was possible. Cory finally deleted it, and showed her. “There, happy now?”

She didn't reply, just turned and walked away from them. She could feel as though her skin was being burnt because she knew that a pair of beautiful green eyes was staring at her as she walked away.

Two weeks have passed since this incident. Jameson has forgotten about it or so he thought, he did see her in class and think about how different she was that day from how she acts in class, she almost speaks to no one other than the professor to ask for doubts or questions. He wondered if she even has friends, with her introverted personality, and quick to try and sue anyone who would want to be friends with her? Or the real question is, does she want to be friends with anyone at all?

Yeah, she probably hates everyone. But why is it taking psychology? Maybe that's not her major, he wondered what her major would be. It's definitely not psychology, because he can't imagine her as a psychologist. Maybe she majors in business, but then again, why would she take psych?

Why are his thoughts filled with her and her life? She is no one. She is just some girl passing by, a girl who happened to be more than just what she shows. He knows that, Jameson knows how to read people. Even before his psychology classes, he was not as good as his brother but he is good, and he can read her, just a little more time with her, and he'll have a master degree on her.

The next couple days Jameson skipped psychology classes because he couldn't help but stare and observe her, it was getting ridiculous to the point that even Dean who sleeps in class noticed it. For two days Jameson spent psychology class hours on the rooftop, he has done this on Heights Country High, why not in Yale too? But today was different, the door’s latch was already open, and the door was about 4 inches open.

He pushes past the door and saw someone standing near the edge, at first he thought this was a suicide attempt, but the person was calm, quiet, looking everywhere with a notepad on one hand and a pen on the other. The person was a girl who wore her hair up in a ponytail, her skirt was moving in the direction of the wind, he knew who it was. He could never forget her back profile.

“Well, well, well. If it isn't my favourite front row princess.” He regretted speaking out of the blue because it scared her to the point she jerked up, she could have fallen.

“Fuck!” She yelped.

“You know how to curse?” He teased her.

“Yes, asshole. I’m not 2.” She rolled her eyes when she turned to see who it was.

He smiled. “Never thought I'd see the day where you'd skip classes. Or are you stalking me?”

“Last I checked, I was here first. So, are you stalking me?” she asked.

“I've been here for a couple days, princess. What are you doing here?” He answered and asked the question out of curiosity.

“What are you doing here?”

“You first.”

“No.”

“I'll figure it out on my own.” He said and started to observe, she was writing something down before he interrupted her. He can't figure it out, it's too vague, maybe if she gave her notepad he could get something.

She was quicker than him, she somehow figured that he was about to snatch her notepad from her, and was on her guard.

“Come on. How about we make a deal, yeah? You tell me why you are skipping class and hanging out with yourself on the rooftop, and I'll owe you one.” He tried.

“How do I know that you'd actually keep your word?” She raised an eyebrow, rolling her eyes.

“A Hawthorne never not keep his word.” He said it out proudly. Something to be proud of from that name.

“Right, you're a Hawthorne.” She added. “Why are you so determined to know why I'm here? You get nothing out of it, and yet you're saying you'll owe me one.” She was questioning whether or not to agree to this deal. Having Jameson Hawthorne owe you one is a vid deal.

“I'm a man of mysteries. I also tend to like mysteries. And you, princess? One hell of a mystery. I figured that much two weeks ago when you threatened to sue my friend.” He smiled, taking a step closer. “So? What do you say? Deal?” He asked.

She sighed. “For my journalism class, I have to write about something new…something that is ‘not in my bubble’ as my professor worded it, hence the rooftop.”

Jameson’s face was pulled together in confusion. “Still a bit vague. Are you going to try to fly?”

She rolled her eyes which made him smile. “No. Just looking at people from a different perspective. I don't think I can go out of my bubble but I can always observe people from different angles and be them for a while to write a different story. Sounds a bit stupid but it'll work. And I'll get an A.”

Jameson noticed how her eyes sparkled when she said ‘I'll get an A.” It made him smile even wider.

“That's still not doing what your professor asked.” He pointed it out.

“But it's not the same repetitive story as before. It's new, so.” She shrugged.

Jameson was quiet for a while. “You said you can't go out of your bubble. Is it can't or won't?”

She just glared at him as if he lied about something. Ironically he only told the truth.

“See? You don't even try, and say you can't.”

“It's not easy for me, okay? If I do new things out of the blue, people will stare at me, look at me weirdly or bully me too. I can't just step out of my bubble like that. Even if people are nice, it's me. I'm awkward, and just stupid when it comes to socialising or anything that's not just academics, and some extracurriculars that I do.” She let out a quick sigh before shaking her head.

“So stupid. I don't even know why I'm telling you this.” She murmured.

Jameson was quiet for a few seconds. “I'll tell you what. I said I owe you one, right? How about this; I help you get out of your bubble. I'll help you socialise and all that stuff, stuff that are not you. I'll help you with them.”

“When you owe someone it's up to them to decide what it is.” She said with a little sass.

“I know, princess. But think about it. It's a good one. I'm just suggesting, it's up to you.” He took another step, now only two feet away from her with his hands extended in front. “Deal?”

She bit her lips out of frustration.

Jameson chuckled. “Take it or leave it. Don't need to kill yourself over it.” But he wanted her to take it, so bad.

She let go of her bottom lips, and relaxed her shoulders. She passed the pen to the other hand, holding both the notepad and pen in one, she spoke “deal.”

Her soft palm met his and shook gently. The touch shouldn't have sent goosebumps to Jameson but it did.

[thevoidisback]

Let me be clear for ya'll out there real quick cuz ya'll need to know smh about me

will do

Asked questions

Rp so put /rp in your ask

QnA any time make sure to put *📝* in there

Smh funny to put a smile on you!

will NOT do

Nsfw 🔞

Proshipping bc that's just wrong

Not talk about my irl self do to insecurity so that will be a red flag

Don't force me to do things I don't like

I will delete your ask if I don't like it

I'll redesign your oc if you pay $10 on cash app so DM me for that because I ain't gonna do it for free!

Please do respect my opinions on what I tell you on my thoughts of your ask because if you don't like then leave

Don't ask for a face reveal it's uncomfortable...same for the age I don't feel comfortable with telling

Don't try any dumbass shit and I mean that literally

About Narrator!

She is literally my self prisona of me so of course she has adhd and autism and will probably procrastinate some times because that's how I am most likely....Womp womp I know it sounds lazy of me but bare with me here

I do love candy and chocolate! Personality I enjoy red velvet cupcakes because it's just chocolate dyed red lmao

I do some voice acting for Narrator w/ my irl friends and she honestly loves it because N.V aka Narrator void or just Narrator is actually a UK oc although in irl I was born in Louisiana then move to New Boston so Narrator has a British voice so remember that when she answers your questions

Narrator has control over Void and Silly void but she doesn't really bothers because she wants them to enjoy their void lives however they please

Do remember I have other oc's but I don't pay attention to them unless you ask who are they and I'll show you all of them!

Remember if you have any sad or just feeling down DM because I am a very caring person who will listen but if you want I can do my best to comfort you in any way

I do not have discord no more because I've done a lot of unresponsible things and got in trouble twice bc I let somebody "rp" with me and I fell for two different people and now I'm very uncomfortable that I let it happen without realizing it so I will never again plan to reinstall discord very sorry but not really

I'm very mature so I can handle g0r3, d3∆th, b1o0d, s3lf h∆rm, all that weird or crazy shit but I don't really support any of this type of act in irl so don't do it for content just go to a therapist about it now if it's nsfw or something else I can handle it but I still don't support actually doing it because there are kids on some social platforms plus the nsfw thing is just apart of humanity we can't control the internet so remember that

I dislike Gen Alpha kids it's just I personally think they are annoying af and hard to talk to without having to hear them say/text "skipitbi Gaytt rizz" type shit so you will be blocked immediately by me without no hesitation and if you don't understand why is because I'm a Gen Z girl because I was born in the 2000's when growing up so I'm some what brain rotten but not completely so remember that please and thank you!

I have a lot of different types of music I like listening to as in some: silly, random edit audio TikTok songs, Phonk songs, songs that just hit different, meme related songs, jazz/lofi because it helps me sleep at nights, Fnf songs- just a lot to keep up with

What fandoms I like?

I'll gladly tell ya!!

Fundamental paper education school

Poppy play time!

Lmk!

Pressure (roblox)

Doors (roblox)

Block tales (roblox)

Gacha life/ Gacha club

Sky children of the light

Cult of the lamb (just because of that damn black ram they are just too cute don't blame me!!)

Hellva boss and Hazbin hotel

Dandy's world (cuz I keep seeing this shit everywhere and yes I've seen the game play but I didn't play it myself so stfu!)

Phighting (yes I'm very much aware of this game on roblox and yes I gave it a try with my friend it was fun and I like it wish my computer didn't crash on it womp womp!)

Cookie run kingdom

Regretevator

Friday night funky

Five nights at Freddy

More coming soon if I fine fandoms I like any time soon

Who I am close with?

@unknownartistsmf

-> @out-of-nowhere231 <-

((she doesn't post much but I suggest you look her up...she doesn't have any asked questions also the same do and don't do apply to her as well))

@sam-the-tomboy

That's who I fully trust online sorry @babyevenfromgovacation but idk 'bout you nothing personal just don't fully trust you is all...

Thank you for reading all this! I had to rethink about everything but I do still love ya'll even though I don't know ya'll but stay cool!

Side note: I don't give a fuck how old you are just be honest with me and if your uncomfortable with it then I understand but still just let me know thank you!

This User loves Halloween!

I don't have TikTok because of the dark truth about it so sorry if ya followed me there and yes I do still have roblox but I suggest you just follow my user that way if I'm online you can join faster with me and my friends

Roblox user: Moaldr1278

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

~*~

1. 1. Hii, if it isn't too much hassle and if you're still taking asks, i have a question about a fic i think has been deleted? I'm not sure.

A) It goes like this : Nie Huisang goes back in time, and he gets his brother to bring a young, severely malnourished Wei Ying and is trying to keep him from being sent to Yunmeng ( he kept intercepting his brother's letters to Yunmeng to let them know about Wei Ying). And he has this idea that if he gets Wei ying to believe he is an ugly child (malnourished ++) and that everybody will love him for him and not his skills.

I had it in my bookmarks but i think it was recently deleted? If you have any idea please lmk 🙏 i've lost too many fics this way.

B) There is another fic that's been deleted? a while ago. Wei ying had to wear a mask and was told to never reveal his face. He was married to Lan zhan in an arranged marriage but then Lan Zhan was supposedly forced to marry Wen Qing? Wei ying ended up adopting A-yuan and his twin brother.

Idk if i remember correctly (if it's the same fic) but the last chapter i read Wei Ying had to be forced through a sort of cleansing from demonic cultivation and he basically almost died bleeding ( he told lan zhan he was the one he trusted to do it). I think in the chapter count only one or two chapters were left till the end of the fic.

Pheeew that was A. LOT. I am soooo sorry for the bother, but if you could give me a clue however small i'll finally stop thinking about them. THANK YOUUUUUU 🙏 @yeesh97

1A)

FOUND?! You'll See Me Again by Anonymous (M, 12k, WIP, WangXian, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Adopted WWX, WWX is a Niè, Protective NHS, NHS time travels, NHS Is A Little Shit, NMJ Lives, Protective NMJ, Time Travel Fix-It, WWX is a Little Shit, Oblivious WWX)

NOT FOUND! Mulberry seeds by OurLadyoftheRain (G, wangxian, NHS & WWX, NMJ & WWX, Canon Divergence, nie WWX, WWX grows up in the nie sect, POV NMJ, Narration Heavy, Time Travel, from an outsider pov, Time Skips, every day all day is 'love wwx time', WWX & LWJ become friends early, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, POV WWX, POV Alternating)

1B)

FOUND! I think 1B is “A Price To Pay” by wangxianist. It had been at chapter 11/14 last time I checked in. The link was https://archiveofourown.org/works/34649677 and should be available on the Wayback Machine.

NOT FOUND! 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort) I think 1b might be describing 2 fics and the second part might be

~*~

2. Hi! I have been searching for a fic I read a while ago, but I only remember small details about it. Wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone: its wangxian time travel fic, Madam Yu is heavily implied to have had a past romantic relationship (or unrequited crush) on CSSR and JFM is implied to have been in a past relationship with WCZ. At one point, WWX & LWJ make a trip to Meishan Yu to meet an elder that helps forge a new spiritual weapon for WWX that will listen only to WWX & LWJ (during this process I think LWJ has to give up/break part of his guqin for some reason?) They fight the war, and then have to deal with WWX's reputation tanking post-war again - which is solved by a suggestion from JGY (something along the lines of "let the public see you as a dad (of a-yuan) and a husband instead of a demonic cultivating war hero"). @kilegriel

FOUND? And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together)

~*~

3. Firstly I have to say that I love this blog! It's keeping my To Be Read pile very well stocked! 😁

Secondly, there is a fic I found on AO3 around a year ago and no matter what tags I try I just can't find it!

What I remember is that it is modern with cultivation, married WangXian, and that it's the beginning of an apocalypse where loads of people have been turned into puppets. It was supposed to be blamed on WWX but, coincidentally, he falls ill just before the start and couldn't possibly have done it.

Iirc the apocalypse lasts for about a week and turns out to have been caused by something contaminating the water supply with JGS and/or JGY behind it.

It might start with something like "On the first day of the end of the world…"

Does this ring any bells? Thank you in advance! @greywake

NOT FOUND! when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations)

FOUND! When the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation takes a week off by galaxy_in_your_eyes (T, 20k, WangXian, Modern With Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, only those that deserve it, kind of fix-it, Zombie Apocalypse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, POV Alternating, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Brief Mentions of Cannibalism, I mean, Zombies, spoiler, We don't see the Zombie Apocalypse, It happens behind closed doors, WWX in quarantine, Wangxian being Wangxian, Mentions of Smut, Established Relationship)

~*~

4. hi! do you guys know the fic where cultivators can exchange hearts? iirc lwj had taken out his heart after the events at nightless city and switched it with wwx's without wwx's knowledge @betafibiiiiiivviiixiiixxixxxiv

~*~

5. Hi, could you guys help me find a fic :)? If I remember correctly, there was one part where Lwj gave a part of his golden core to Wwx and as a result there was a limit to how far they could be separated from one another.

FOUND? when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool (T, 26k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Sharing a Bed, Sharing Clothes, Fix-It, the inherent eroticism of under robes, Golden Core Transfer )

FOUND? Of all the hands by typefortydeductions (E, 51k, Wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Emperor Lan Xichen, PTSD, Nightmares, Dual Cultivation, Mental Health Issues, Fluff and Angst, Dom/sub Undertones, Consensual Non-Con, Bonding, Mutual Pining, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Politics, Improper Use of the Lan Forehead Ribbon, the get wei ying some sleep agenda, yunmeng trio reconciliation) Has wangxian golden core sharing and the line "there is no separating their deaths now"

~*~

6. Hello! As always, thank y’all so much for everything you do. I was hoping for some help finding a fic. It was a modern AU and Wei Wuxian was having some Gender Feelings, I think is the best way to describe them, and was sort of…jealous? of their very nice cishet neighbor. I think they live in a suburb and WWX gets kind of restless when he notices their neighbor is pregnant and he kinda maybe wants to play around with something like that, and anyway he tells LWJ this and they end up acting out a scene by having ‘normie straight people’ sex (i.e. LWJ basically does what he wants without worrying what WWX might want). There’s also a sex scene in the kitchen involving an apron against the counter by the sink, I believe, but that’s pretty much everything I can remember. Does it sound familiar to anyone? Thanks again!

FOUND! in picture frames; in dirty dreams by el_em_en_oh_pee (E, 17k, WangXian, Semi-Public Sex, Light BDSM, Vanilla Kink, Domestic Kink, Curtain Fic, Kink Negotiation, intersects SLIGHTLY with pregnancy kink and (consensual) feminization, Kitchen Sex, Missionary Position, Slice of Life, Fluff and Smut, a soupçon of gender, Aprons)

~*~

7. Hye there i was wondering if you could help me find a fic where wei ying and the juniors were out on a night hunt and they stayed at an inn. Jin ling said something that hurt wei ying’s feelings, so he went to his room first. When he left, sizhui trapped him against the wall and revealed that the reason they have all the thousands of rules was because it was to make sure that their true strength wouldn’t be seen? He said something about how their eyes turn golden if they use their strength or power? And thats why lan zhans eyes are golden. thanks so much @nanasoo

FOUND! A Righteous Facade by RenaFair (T, 4k, WangXian, JL learns a lesson, protective Lans, mildly dark)

~*~

8. Hi😊. Please I'm looking for a Wangxian fanfic where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are in an arranged marriage and WY was being maltreated in the CR. LXC was the only one who was nice to him at first and LZ insinuated WY was cheating on him with LXC. I remember WY telling him he'll never let LZ touch him or something. I think it was ABO settings

FOUND? To Bring You Back Within My Reach by ablaiseofglory (M, 20k, WIP, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, No dubious consent, Adopted Children, Kid Fic, A/B/O Dynamics, omega wwx, Alpha LWJ, Misunderstandings)

~*~

9. hello! i am looking for fics and i am hoping that you or your followers have idea on what their titles are

A) fic where WWX got into an accident and it was really bad there was a scene where LWJ is talking about learning to love WWX and he doesn't want to unlearn

B) fic where WWX continued to be MXY and he became a disciple at the lan sect

thank you! ☺️

9A)

re:9a, can the requestor say if it's a modern au, secret relationship? I'll look for what I think it is in the meantime

FOUND? Almost Lover by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 37k, WangXian, Angst, But with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, a bad thing happens to wwx, lwj gets very sad, Hospital Scenes, Dubious Medical Science, please look away if that's important, pining for the person you're fucking, Friends With Benefits, Traumatic Injury, Modern AU, mention of past WWX/WQ)

9B)

FOUND? Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

~*~

10. Hi there! I’ve got this fic in my head that I can’t seem to find. I think it was part of a series where Wei Ying is adopted by different clans. One of them was a fic where an eccentric cousin of the Lan qiren had been friends with cangse sanren and ‘won her first born in a bet’ and when she died he went out and found him using a compass? I think it had stuff about Wei Ying growing up loving inventing and explosions happening a lot @preciouscommoditybears

FOUND? A Quiet Life of Leisure by nirejseki (G, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX raised in another sect, WWX among the Lan, Alchemy, Explosions, this feels extremely self-indulgent since it's mostly about an OC, but it was what someone asked for, different Jiang sect dynamics)

~*~

11. Can someone help me find these wangxian fics ?

A) Wei ying and the juniors were out on a night hunt and they stayed at an inn. Jin ling said something that hurt wei ying’s feelings, so he went to his room first. When he left, sizhui trapped him against the wall and revealed that the reason they have all the thousands of rules was because it was to make sure that their true strength wouldn’t be seen? He said something about how their eyes turn golden if they use their strength or power? And thats why lan zhans eyes are golden.

B) Its omegaverse and sizhui is jealous when wangxian have their biological baby bc they dont have time for him. He feeds his baby sister and makes her a meal but suddenly she dies. It turns out he replaced the berries with poisonous ones bc he wanted wangxian’s attention for himself as their only child.

C) Wei ying is trapped in CR, specifically in the jingshi. He and sizhui manage to escape from lan zhan, but it turns out sizhui told lan zhan before hand and he drugged him. Lan zhan had been drugging wei ying to make sure that he remains in the jingshi with him and sizhui wanted their family together forever.

D) Jiang cheng, huasang and wuxian go kn a camping/hiking trip? Anyways they take turns driving and the whole time jiang cheng is judging everyones ability to drive, including his. Huasang ran away from dage bc he didnt want to work out or something and jiang cheng has a crush on him (can’t remember) @minivminie

11A)

FOUND? A Righteous Facade by RenaFair (T, 4k, WangXian, JL learns a lesson, protective Lans, mildly dark)

11B)

FOUND? Sizhui's Smiles by RenaFair (T, 11k, WangXian, Possessive Behavior, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Alpha LSZ, Mpreg, Minor Child Character Death, Read the summary between the lines)

11C)

FOUND? Good Days by darkbrokenreaper (T, 9k, WangXian, Domestic Fluff, dark!LWJ, Manipulative Relationship, Dubious Consent, Drug Use)

11D)

riding shotgun by beesinspades (T, 6k, NHS/JC, wangxian, modern, Road Trip, Comedy, Fluff and Humor, First Kiss, Swearing, one braincell trio chaos, LWJ is there because isn't he wherever the chaos is?, JC is #tired, Asexual Character, this is a collab so: with links to art!, Russian Translation Available)

~*~

12. hi!! i’m looking for a fic where wwx has to marry a dead lwj. set in the victorian period (i think) the jiang family lost all of their money and the only way for them to survive was for him to marry lwj’s ghost. soon after he starts investigating lwj’s supposed death and tries to find his ( and lan qiren’s) killer. lwj’s ghost comes to talk to wwx and protects him! i can give more details if necessary i just really want to read it again and can’t find it !! <3 thank you!!

FOUND? lovers be lost (but love shall not) by la_muerta (T, 13k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, 1910s, Case Fic, Ghosts, Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Ghost Marriage)

FOUND? 囍 | a ghost wedding by sweetlolixo (E, 11k, Wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Ghost wedding, Pining LWJ, Ghost Groom LWJ, Corpsefucking in the most romantic way possible, Angst with a Happy Ending, Non-Explicit Sex, Love at First Sight)

~*~

13. Hey! I have been looking for a fanfic, but after almost three hours of looking through ao3, I thought I might have better luck here.

It was about wwx going through increasingly bad bdsm encounters and not receiving the proper aftercare, so he just started acting more withdrawn. lwj notices and offers to care for wwx.

I don't remember if it was complete, but to the point I read, it was just lwj taking care of wwx. Sorry if it is not much to go off 😅 anyways, thanks in advance!

FOUND? like it's the only thing i'll ever do by quothhh (M, 5k, WangXian, WWX/Other (offscreen), Modern AU, Pre-Relationship, Aftercare, Sub Drop, Pining)

FOUND? try a little tenderness by ilip13 (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, BDSM, Dom/sub, Aftercare, Subdrop, Reference to bad BDSM etiquette in wwx's past, Reference to wwx's self-worth issues, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Little bit of miscommunication in the beginning but they get better at it, Blow Jobs, Masturbation, Reference to BDSM scenes)

~*~

14. Hello! Looking for a fic that I think was some sort of sunshot fix it. The scene I recall the most is that wangxian were together and found a-yuan on the warfront and decided to take him in. They were totally going to tote him around with them while fighting in the war, but were more sensibly told to bring a-yuan back to lotus pier. I think yzy or cssr or lwj's mother may have been alive and at lotus pier, so they dropped a-yuan off to be with his grandmother and then went back to fight in the war. Thanks everyone!

FOUND? And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together)

~*~

15. Hey, just wanted to ask about a specific fic that I remember, but for the life of me, I can't find at all. It is basically an arranger marriage au of Wangxian, but here Lan Wangji is an immortal who had travelled worlds looking for Wei Ying's soul after his death. There are some shenanigans and canon Wangxian shameless flirting in the mix. At one point Wei Wuxian ends up dressing as a woman when he is first going to meet Lan Wangji to get out of the marriage, but Lan Zhan finds it cute

FOUND? 4018 by sweetlolixo (E, 28k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, ABO, Older LWJ, Immortal LWJ, Pregnant WWX, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Age Difference, Boypussy, Vaginal Fingering, Dry Humping, Knotting, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talking LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Size Difference, Feminization)

~*~

16. I'm looking for a fic that about time travelling. It's were JC wished that WWX did not exist, thinking that it would solve all the issues but in the end everything went to hell. The Wen won the war and JC still lost his core and all cultivators are in hiding or prisoner. Thank you in advanced!🙏

FOUND? The Way It Wasn’t by KouriArashi (T, 72k, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, (eventually haha), Slow Build, Family Feels, Moral Ambiguity, Eventual Happy Ending)

~*~

17. For the next fic finder, there was one where in the backstory, WWX once called JYL to come pick him up, but she got into a car accident on the way. I can't remember if she survived or was killed, but it led to WWX splitting with the Jiangs. The actual plot is equally as fuzzy I'm afraid, so I don't have a clue what to filter for.

FOUND? Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences)

FOUND? Against Entropy by Duochanfan (M, 40k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, of an underaged character, Amnesia, Drama, Romance, Family Feels, Hurt WWX, Older JC, Homelessness, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective LXC, Supportive LXC, Protective NMJ, Supportive LQR)

~*~

18. Hi I'm looking for a fan fiction where near the end while at Cloud Recess Jiang Cheng is hostile to Weiying and lan shizhui / lan yuan also suddenly remembers Jiang cheng being at burial mound during the 1st seige, he is kicked out but comes across jingshe & seeslan zahn and weiying having sex, possessive lan zahn sees him and looks directly at him almost to show weiying is his and will never be Jiang chengs. @amj33

FOUND? «The Fault In Jiāng Chéng» by Anonymous (M, 3k, wangxian, JC & WWX, not JC friendly, Zǐdiàn Spiritual Tool, Blood and Injury, Sick WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark LXC, Smut, Stabbing)

~*~

19. hello thank all the mods you for your hard work, you’re all amazing and i am so so grateful this blog exists!!

i’m looking for a fic where married wangxian somehow time travel and meet their past selves, who are both shocked that they end up getting married. i remember older wwx being annoyed at his younger self because he can see how he’s hurting younger lwj and older lwj mostly sitting in companionable silence with his younger self, because they mutually understand their love for wwx.

much appreciated 🫶

NOT FOUND! The Young, the Horny, the Jaded and the Jade: Partners in Time by Admiranda (T, 55k, wangxian, established couple, Crossover, road trip with your older selves, teasing your younger selves about their obvious crushes, yin iron does yin iron things, mdzs/cql crossover, adult wangxian, Teenage Wangxian, genius WWX, LWJ adores his husband, we're all in this disaster together, xue yang causes problems, WIP)

~*~

20. Hello again! I've been trying to find two fics for weeks and just can't seem to find them. A) One was an arranged marriage between lan zhan and wei ying that was set up by the jins; wei ying was never part of the jiang and he had some funky death stuff going on in the burial mounds, and took in the wens. The jin made both the wens and the Lans think the other was going to attack and that's why they did the marriage. B) The other fic has wei ying and lan zhan getting together but keeping it secret; I don't remember much, just that in trying to save the wens, jiang change tries to marry wen Qing and madam yu gets pissed off and says that since it was wei yings idea, he should marry her. Wei ying is later crying to lan zhan because both of them know it's the only option they have to save them, so he'll do it. Lan xichen comes across them and realizes they're in a relationship, and decides to marry wen qing himself to fix it - later lan zhan and wei ying reveal their relationship. Thank you so much! @forgottenwhispersinthedark

20A)

FOUND! Fated series by LtLJ (G, 31k, wangxian, canon divergence, arranged marriage, post-apocalypse, magical apocalypse, hurt/comfort, YLLZ WWX, badass LWJ, canon-typical violence, angst w happy ending, case fic)

20B)

FOUND! ❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, AU after cold spring, Political Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, LQR bashing (not really), POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Eventual Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, JC is actually a lot better than canon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, YZY bashing (again not completely))

~*~

[nihilara]

so some stuff has happened. and it is with careful consideration; that i am going to leave tumblr rp. forever? i don't know. i don't want to put a time limit on it. if i come back i do, if i don't then that's that. i am as i mentioned, pretty sick. but it's not just that, i realize i just don't find the public space comfortable or fun anymore. i love writing and i love writing with other people. but the platform is not for me, and i'm not sure it ever will be again. i don't need to explain myself, but i thought it better i make a post mentioning my leaving instead of just vanishing.

now i won't delete my blogs right away, and i'll actually just archive kuro. i'll give this time, so people can decide whether or not they might like to continue things in private ( discord ), or not. i know 1 on 1 rp isn't for everyone. but the fact of the matter stands, i will not be logging in to my rp blogs anymore.

for those who might still like to keep in touch:

i do have an art blog @seabunnieart and i have a couple of twitter accounts for my art & interests too. here ( nsfw & ocs ). and here ( fan art ).

and whether it's for rp or not, or if you'd like to just keep in touch.

my discord: bunbite ( just lmk who you are )

thanks sm guys, despite some of the negatives, i did have fun. and made some good lasting friendships here. which i hope to keep even if i'm not in this space anymore.

ciao~

[romanarose]

Tommy Time Fics!

I've been told by multiple people I'm the reason they thirst for Tommy Miller so I figured I'd compile a list!

A place for all Tommy Miller related fics that'll I'll keep in my TLOU master list so everyone can see. I'll keep mine way at the end.

THIS IS AN ONGOING LIST! If you got recs, let me know and I'll add them!!!

These fics may contain varying degree's of dark, all the way to non-con. Media consumption is your responsibility and all fics are labeled properly.

It's pretty hard to find fics with JUST Tommy so a lot of these are Tommy/Joel

By @toxicanonymity

Toxi has helpfully made a whole list of all her Joel x reader x Tommy fics!!! some are stand alone, some are part of a series, all are fantastic. I don't think there's one I haven't read

See also: Bird of Prey: Tommy x reader. Raider Tommy, I need him so badly you don't get it.

By @aurorawritestoescape Bad Blood Series: Tommy Miller x reader x Joel. A rare fit where Tommy is the focus! darkish reader wants to fuck her step dad Tommy, and step-uncle Joel is along for the ride.

By @katiexpunk

Run the Table: Joel x reader x Tommy. Pool table sex <3 that's all you need to know

By @koshkamartell

Training Day: Joel x reader x Tommy: DDDNE. Joel doesn't like your attitude, Tommy helps keep you in check.

By @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin 3 amazing pieces!!!

Stay With Me- Tommy Miller (fluff)

Snowed In- Joel Miller, Tommy Miller (dark) DDDNE TW: NONCON

Blackout- Tommy Miller (dark) DDDNE TW: DUBCON

by @thetriumphantpanda

Two for the Price of One: Joel x reader x Tommy. BREEDING BREEDING BREEDING!!!

By @noxturnalpascal Plenty of Time: Tommy Miller x m!OC. Based on a now deleted series, but if you liked Maintenance Man Joel, you'll enjoy this!

By @justagalwhowrites Run Rabbit: Joel x reader Tommy. Our fav trope, RAIDERS!!!!! The sexual tension hnnnngggg

By @romana-after-dark / @romanarose The Wrong Way series: Joel x reader, Tommy x reader DDDNE. Tommy and Joel are raiders and you're sold to Joel, but Tommy takes a liking

Blessed be the Fruit Series: Joel x reader ft. Tommy. Handmaid's Tale AU. You're Joel's handmaid, but lucky for Tommy, Joel likes to watch. (Tommy chapters later)

Yes, Uncle Tommy?: Tommy x reader ft. Joel

PLEASE KNOW I DIDN'T INTENTIONALLY LEAVE ANYONE OUT, I JUST HAVE A VERY POOR MEMORY WITH WHO WROTE WHAT!

Please lmk if you have Tommy fics!!!

thank you all so much!! I'll be adding as time goes!

(also if you only write on ao3, that's cool too! send me the link and ill put it on!)

If you'd like to be removed for any reason, let me know!

[kaycode1999]

Hellooo! I'd like to request a matchup for LMK if that is alright! If your requests are closed, please just ignore or delete this! I understand you are probably busy so please take as long as you need for this!

Name and Pronouns: Nyx (They/She, but I don't mind being called by other pronouns)

Sexuality: Panromantic Demisexual with a preference for nerdy or himbo like men

Personality: Motherly, kinda shy, patient, nerdy, and quiet most of the time. I'm also an introvert with a slight stutter sometimes when overwhelmed, and can be easily tricked into trusting people or overworking myself to death

Looks: Short brunette hair with dark blue eyes and an abnormally large amount of freckles on my body and face. I'm also pretty short and chubby / plus sized.

Aesthetic: Either dark academia / dark librarian or gothic designs in pastel colors.

Hobbies: Writing, sorting things into categories, gaming, listening to music, and making slideshow games for my friends.

Extras: I'm a horror and romance writer as while as a mortician, I'm Autistic and have ADHD, I'm an insomniac, and I'm probably chronic ill to an extent.

Characters I'd like not to be chosen: Sandy, Tang or MK (I love all of them, but Sandy and Tang remind me of people I actually know and MK is like my son lol)

If you have any questions, please just message me and I'll answer as soon as I can! Hope you have a lovely day!

I'm going to match you with

Monkey King

*Not gonna lie your preference is so real😂 me too*

He's definitely a himbo, but make no mistake he's very astute and intelligent

He definitely seems like a dad-type friend so I think that matches well

As much as he puts on a front I think he is actually introverted himself. If he sees you're getting overwhelmed in a social situation he’ll try to at least hold your hand to comfort you

I'm not going to say he does everything the right way, but what he does he always does to protect the people he cares about so if nothing else you can trust that

I feel like he's a very good judge of character either naturally or just from having lived for a long time so he will always be on guard to make sure no one tricks you or takes advantage of you

He also will make sure to get you to take breaks sometimes so you don't overwork yourself

I think he'd absolutely love your eyes and your freckles

He loves to read whatever you write

He’ll help you with sorting things if you want him to, he actually finds it relaxing

He really enjoys playing video games with you

I think he'd really enjoy listening to music with you and hearing different types of music

He's not really bothered by the horror stuff or if you talk about stuff with your job. It doesn't really phase him at all

He likely has ADHD or Autism or some combination of both as well so I think you both uniquely understand each other

The good thing is he's in immortal being so he doesn't need that much sleep, so if you need someone to be there with you when you can't sleep to either just hang out, watch TV or whatever it's no problem

Though he might actually have some mystical celestial thing that can help with that

[lunar-wandering]

ASK AN LMK CHARACTER GAME

Ask Box is Open!!

That's right gang, I'm doing it again!! You guys send in questions, and I'll answer them in character, and create an ongoing narrative with it!!

This time, we're doing a mystery. Something very important has been stolen and it's up to YOU guys to figure out what it was, and who took it.

Important Notes/Rules:

all the characters are available to ask!! this includes people who should be dead.

if i get multiples of the same question, i will answer the one that arrived first. (so don't feel to bad if your version of the question doesn't get answered!!)

for the sake of everyone having fun, there will be no shipping related questions!! if you send one in, i'm just gonna delete it!

if there are multiple characters in an area, sometimes a character who doesn't speak in the answer might overhear it. In this case, there will be a tag, like; "Tang heard this answer". Pay attention to these, as they can sometimes give clues to the ongoing story!!

the overall tag i'm going to be using for every ask is 52624. if you don't want to see any of this nonsense, block #52624

have fun!!

[featherclan]

Hey just a quick question to see what yall think! I've got some updated refs but I'm not sure if I should just swap them out with the refs in the pinned post of when the comic started or make a whole new pinned post (not deleting the older post, so that people could go back and see the original references if they want to!).

Also I'm working on making an allegiances post, if anyone has any advice or specific things they'd like to see on it lmk and I'll see if I can incorporate it.

[diaryujin]

𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃

summary: being part of a gang that murders isn't as badass and cool as those silly romance novels make it out to be. it involves questions, regrets and tough decisions, including ones related to your ex, jay.

genre: angst

includes: exes to (not so) lovers, inaccurate gang life pls bear with me i don't do illegal shit *sob*, murder, death, blood, curse words, guns, jay is mentioned as a nepo baby, mentions of (g)i-dle minnie and soyeon and le sserafim chaewon, quite some flashbacks, not that good ngl, not proofread, lmk if i missed anything

pairing: ex! gang member! jay x ex! gang member! fem! reader

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i apologize for 1. not updating 'diary entries filled with her' i've been busy writing this and i've been too drained to upload those :( i'll start with them again tomorrow and 2. if this isn't all that good idk why i wasted time writing this but oh well

“Y/N, your target is agent JJXNG. He’s an assassin like you who’s part of the team trying to track us down.” You focused on Minnie in front of you, the leader of the gang you were a part of. You were her most trusted assassin and the one she assigned the most difficult targets to. Sometimes, you didn’t understand what kept you in this job, but all your doubts would clear whenever you saw the stacks of cash as your monthly salary.

“JJXNG. How long has he been with the squad?”

“Two years. He’s a formidable force though — sneaky rat. He slips out from right under our noses.” “I see. Any specific date I should get him dead by?” “As soon as possible, honestly. I’ll tell Chaewon to set up a lead in one of our usual alleys.”

“What about alley 96?”

“Perfect. See, this is why I love you so much.”

She patted your shoulder, grinning a little. You chuckled, but it was weak. Seeing that, her face wore a look of concern.

“Are you okay with doing this though? I know you’re going through that break up…”

You shook your head.

“I’ll be fine. Can’t let emotions get in the way, right? Anyway, it’s not like this involves him.”

“I understand if not though. I’ll just ask Soyeon.”

“Seriously, I’ll do it.”

She tilted her head questioningly, and you nodded. She sighed before letting go of your shoulder.

“Alright then, I’ll call you once Chae is done. Take care of yourself until then, hm?”

“I will. Take care, Minnie.”

She smiled, and you reciprocated the gesture.

Upon reaching your apartment, you went into your room, looking for a change of clothes. Hands moving through your wardrobe, you froze as they landed on a certain hoodie.

Jay’s.

You must’ve mistaken it as one of your own when you were returning all his stuff. You ran your hands slowly over the fabric which was surprisingly still somewhat warm. He bought it in the USA, and it was rather expensive. You often stole it from him to the point where he just gave up and gifted it to you.

Unfolding it, you had an internal debate over whether you should wear it. In the end, you took off the clothes you were wearing and wore the hoodie and a pair of comfortable leggings. Why leave it to collect dust?

Soon, you were on your bed, lazing around as you scrolled on your Instagram feed. Your eyes were looking at posts, stories, and reels, but your brain processed nothing. 

Jay.

Homemade cooking.

As if on cue, your stomach grumbled.

You buried your face in your mattress, groaning. Hell, you missed the taste of his food, but worse — you missed him.

You were yet to reach the acceptance bit of the five stages of grief, and it was hindering all your thoughts. Looking back at your phone, you closed Instagram and opened your gallery.

A major part of getting over someone was deleting the more intimate pictures with and of them.

Fuck it, you didn’t.

How could you, when the man was way too fine to be real?

You were holding on to slivers of what you used to have, and you knew it was unhealthy, but who were you to care?

Scrolling through all the pictures, different memories played in your mind by a broken record. Smiley, hot, cute, straight from hell, meme-worthy, sculpted by Michelangelo, jawline sharp enough to cut through a watermelon, goofy, with a guitar — your photo album of him had all genres of Park Jongseong, even his darkest and deepest ones.

If everything was so perfect, what went wrong?

You reflected on your three-year relationship with him. Arguments were few and far between the two of you. You spent a lot of time with him, he spoiled you a lot (even though you told him not to), he treated you like a princess, and you reciprocated it as much as you could. Even with all your missions with the gang, everyone would call you both the perfect couple.

Your parents adored him — he was their ideal son-in-law — and you couldn’t help but smile as you remembered the shy look on his face as they explicitly told him that. His parents were friendly with you. Sure, they were a bit awkward and haughty, but you had seen worse.

All this got you wondering…

Where in the middle of this dreamy paradise did the devil find his home?

He wouldn’t have cheated. He was too good-hearted for that…or at least you hoped.

You did a little digging after you both ended things, but (un)fortunately you had no evidence to support your claim, and couldn’t have any justified hard feelings towards him.

You had the events of that day burned in your memory — the day when the safe little bubble you lived in burst.

He was at your place, and you both were watching a movie together. Usually, you’d be cuddling with him, but that day, it was like he was doing his best not to let even an inch of his skin come in contact with yours. It hurt your feelings, sure, but you just brushed it off as him being on his man period.

A scene appeared on the screen where the main character and her love interest were having a cheesy date, and you turned to look at Jay, expecting a comment about how your relationship with him was better or a lovesick smile, or his lips puckering out in an awkwardly endearing manner, or- or- anything other than a blank stare and a frown. He noticed your gaze and his jaw tensed.

“Y/N…this-this- you and I…”

He took a deep breath.

“I can’t do us anymore.”

Your eyes widened, and your mouth opened and closed like a fish. Your hand reached for his instinctively, but he drew it back, showing that he wasn’t joking. 

“But- why? What’s-What’s going wrong? It’s nothing we…we can’t fix, you know- I’m sorry if I did anything, I’ll-I’ll change my ways, just please don’t-”

“It’s not your fault, okay? I just- my work is getting more time-consuming nowadays, and I don’t want to end up neglecting you in the process, Y/N. You deserve someone better.”

“I don’t need anyone else, Jay! You’re more than enough, you’re my everything! I don’t care if you have to spend less time with me, I understand and I’ll manage-”

“No Y/N, trust me. Plus…”

He looked away nervously, eyes staring at the paused screen as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Plus…?” “My parents disapprove.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

You couldn’t say anything against that. You knew how much Jay loved his parents, and you would never want to come between them.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish it wasn’t like this.”

“That’s okay. I know- how they mean the world to you.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, but-”

“It’s fine, really.”

He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “I wish you all the best in your future endeavors, Y/N. I’ll never forget you. I just can’t.”

“You too, Jay. Good luck with your work.”

And just like that, he left.

A month ago.

You wanted to scream. This was like the millionth time that you thought about that day.

You seriously had to get something better to do in your life. 

Suddenly, a call came on your phone. You looked at the ID, and as you expected, it was Minnie.

“Y/N? Hello.”

“Hey, Minnie. Something up?”

“They took the bait literally an hour after Chaewon set it up.”

There was a snicker of amusement from her end, and you grinned a little to yourself as well over how stupid the squad was.

“Damn, they’re confident.”

“I know! They didn’t even wait!”

“It’s dumb.”

“Mhm. Anyway, those bitches set up the meeting date as fuckin’ tomorrow. Wild, no?”

“Seriously? So soon? Kinda feeling bad for JJXNG, the poor guy most likely isn’t even prepared.”

“Fools, really. Deserved. You’re up for it, right?”

“Of course. Time?”

“11 p.m.”

“Alright, I’ll see you at the base at 10:30 p.m. tomorrow. That good?”

“That’s perfect. Alley 20, by the way.”

The alley was quiet, the streetlights providing just enough luminescence for you to notice the outline of a man slowly approaching you. You gripped the pistol in your hand tighter, setting your arm to the side so that the guy wouldn’t notice.

The soft but heavy sound of his footsteps was slightly muffled by the drizzle that left you a bit soaked. Drops of water trailed from your hair to your face, and you wiped them off with your free hand.

The man was now close enough to you. He wore a mask just like you did, but his was black with ‘JJXNG’ written on it in bold, red letters.

This guy was bloody stupid.

There was something familiar in his gaze, but you brushed it off as deja vu. He seemed to be sizing you up, so you did the same. You noticed that he had a gun too, so you moved yours further behind your back. Looking into his eyes, you saw that there was a bit of confusion swirling in them.

“Agent JJXNG? Hard to pronounce.”

You chuckled dryly, but his eyes widened.

“You’re…ENZ? Wait, but-”

Why…why was his voice so familiar? The guy had the same tone as…as someone who had been a vital part of your life until a month ago, and then became a permanent resident in your head.

“Y/N?”

You froze.

“How- How the fuck do you-”

The same surprise. The same shock. The same concern.

“Jongseong…?”

He lowered his mask at you saying his name, and you could see how his mouth was agape with shock. You did the same, although your lips were pursed together in a thin line. 

“I didn’t expect to be seeing you so soon.”

His hands fidgeted with his pistol, and you realized.

You were tasked to kill him.

He stood still for a moment, seemingly going through the same dilemma.

“So, Jongseong, this is the work that’s been so time-consuming, hm? Did your parents approve of this?”

He gritted his teeth, remembering how he said those things as a reason for breaking up with you.

“Look, Y/N-”

“I’m not about to get together with you right now.”

“I’m not that desperate.”

That hurt, and you had no idea why.

“Do you promise to never keep secrets from me, Jay?”

You held out your pinkie suddenly, catching him off guard. The poor boy was just trying to cook.

“All of a sudden?”

He chuckled, before instantly locking pinkies with you.

“I promise, only if you do the same, love.”

You smiled at him, before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

You shook your head, not wanting to remember unfulfilled promises right now. Suddenly, your eyes focused on the gun pointed directly at your forehead and you winced, mentally slapping yourself for losing focus.

“Didn’t think I’d be doing this ever in my life, but here we are.”

His tone was cold yet cocky, which was annoying as hell. You reciprocated the gesture calmly, and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Fuck. Should’ve seen that coming.”

He was in a pissy mood. You were in a pissy mood.

An irritated Jay plus an irritated you equaled disaster, which was why you usually avoided each other when both of you were emotionally heightened.

Unfortunately, circumstances didn’t allow that. You were at his house already mad, and you wanted to be with him to blow some steam off. He got some news from work that seriously angered him by the time you were there.

It started with you forgetting to wash the dishes once and ended up with the both of you having a screaming match in the living room. He complained that ‘you never cared about his feelings’ and you retorted by saying ‘he had extremely high standards’.

That was your first major argument, and it ended so badly that you didn’t contact each other for a week.

Why were you having all these flashbacks? You weren’t some anime protagonist. 

“Is this a race of who kills who first?”

“It’s always like that. I thought you had two years of experience under your Prada belt? Or are your targets handed to you on a silver platter as well?”

He scoffed at your remark. He never liked to be reminded that he was a nepo baby. He was always extremely humble and sweet, even if he occasionally didn’t understand seemingly normal things due to his upbringing.

But fuck it, to hell with him and his kindness.

“It just feels weird, since I’m killing you.”

Your grip on your pistol loosened.

“...yeah.”

His eyes were now filled with remorse as they softened.

“Frankly speaking, I don’t-don’t really know how I’ll go on- move on from this.”

He cared.

He still cared.

A week after that big fight, you had someone at your door — Jay.

When you saw him at your doorstep, all of your favorite snacks cooked by him in one hand and a necklace box in another, you didn’t know how to react.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.”

He genuinely looked like he was going to burst into tears. You hugged him tight, and he buried his head in your shoulder, sniffling a little.

“I forgive you. I’m sorry too.”

“I thought I lost you, love. Please- don’t leave me.”

“I won’t, Jay. I never will.”

The rest of the day was spent with you both cuddling, eating, and (re)watching your favorite movies amongst many kisses.

And that’s how you both made up after every fight.

You struggled to come to terms with the fact that the same guy you used to watch Lady and the Tramp with was now pointing a gun at your forehead.

In his defense, you were doing the same thing.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I’ll count to three, and we pull the trigger at the same time when I reach 0.”

You didn’t know how to feel about that suggestion — it made too many things real.

You were going to die.

He was going to die.

You’d be the reason he died.

He’d be the reason you died.

You didn’t want to continue living after this. You didn't want to live holding the huge guilt of having murdered the sweetest guy on the planet. At this point, you were struggling to hold back tears.

“Sure.”

You steadied your arm, and he copied your action.

“3…”

The first day you both met.

“2…”

The day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

“1…”

Life while dating him.

“0.”

The day you both broke up.

The loud bang of your gunshot echoed throughout the alley, the rain accentuating it. The sound overpowered the clang of his gun falling to the ground, and his soft words.

“Y/N…I can’t. I can’t kill you. I still love yo-”

You opened your eyes and froze.

How did you just do that?

He should’ve killed you, you were dea-

Your eyes fell upon Jay’s body in front of you.

There was a hole in his forehead, and blood was trickling out of it. His eyes were rolled to the back of his head, and you could only see the whites. There he lay, limp and lifeless.

And it was all your fault.

Then it hit you.

He didn’t shoot. 

He broke yet another promise.

You kneeled in front of him, letting yourself cry. You cradled him close just like how you used to whenever he had a bad day and you would comfort him.

“Jay…Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Why-Why didn’t you shoot?! Bastard, how do you want me to live now that you’re gone! You piece of- of absolute shit! I loved you, I love you and I will- simply continue to love you, and-and it’s going to hurt ‘cause you’re not here, damn it!”

You held him close, your salty tears mixing with his blood.

You couldn’t do it.

You couldn’t continue life knowing you were the reason he died.

You remained in that position, Jay’s body in your arms. Your warm hand gripped his cold one. It was weird how it still gave you comfort.

Your eyes darted around, before focusing on his gun in the pool of blood. You took it, deciding to finish his mission for him, not minding the red liquid staining your hand.

His gun was now on the side of your head.

“I love you, Park Jongseong.”

Another loud bang echoed in the alleyway.

[starshapedbandaid]

hey everyone!! my name is sannam and i'm a junior in hs; i mostly go by they/them online but she/her is also ok. i like reading and drawing and sugary drinks, and my main interests are pjsk, hsr, tbhk, milgram, and bsd! i also like vivinos, vnc, music (i have loser taste but shh), sig games, + other things i don't feel like listing because that would take time and no one has that in this economy. pls talk to me ... i'm bored this is a newish account since i deleted my old one. no dni or anything just lmk if you think you know me irl because i'd rather not be unaware of that. that's all for now - i'll probably redo this later but rn i'm too lazy to make it look pretty lol. bye!! ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)