#if ur gonna like u might as well reblog

[nightfallsystem]

ppl b like "artists arent owed reblogs / notes" but also

you arent owed art.

imagine tumblr without any art.

[b4kuch1n]

dip pen ink comm round 3! for one Bakugames, one Mouse, and one Sol

[cheolhub]

LOVE SCENE — LEE SEOKMIN ࿐

summary. you’re scared that seokmin might want to go separate ways after graduation, but he proves, in more ways than one, that he wants you. forever.

wc. 2.3k

warnings. college au. nerdy soft dom!seokmin, breeding kink xx, obscene amounts of dirty talk, pinch of angst, literal love making, unprotected sex, marriage kink, HEAVY praise, baby talk, v minimal plot im sorry — MINORS DNI 18+

note. DAMN ok i have a lot to say so i’ll keep it short. ONE this was a request but like i kinda didn’t do anything the request asked for and im so sorry, i hope u can forgive me anon. TWO i literally lost sight of the plot so dont ask me abt any missing details ehehb just enjoy seok being hot <3 THREE happy belated birthday to my minnie <3 FOUR thank u to my luvr @rkiv4d for beta-ing. yas ok enjoy

p.s. reblogs and feedback are extremely appreciated— i also love to hear ur thoughts <3

how seokmin pulled you, the most beautiful girl to ever walk the earth, he has no clue. he’s what people call a ‘nerd’ with his thick-rimmed glasses and his abnormally high IQ and you’re the pretty girl that didn’t understand the simplicity of covalent and ionic bonds who fell head over heels for him. 

you couldn’t help it, he was so smart and so fucking pretty. he was awkward and he giggled when he got nervous and he was so unbelievably goofy that it had you laughing till you cried. nevertheless, he was the most beautiful man ever. 

then you asked him out. he remembers it like it was yesterday. the last day of your chem class– the end of the first semester of your sophomore year– right after your final. you thanked him incessantly, giving him a hug for helping you get a B in the class. you told him you’d rather thank him another way— another way being a date. with you. at your place with a homemade dinner. 

he would’ve been stupid to decline. so he didn’t. and the rest was history. seokmin became your boyfriend, grew more confident in himself, and fell in love with you.

now you’re in your final year, the last few weeks approaching quickly, and you’ve been anxious. anxious about seokmin leaving you, anxious about going separate ways after graduation, anxious that this was all just fun and games till it was time to get serious about life.

seokmin has picked up on your behavioral patterns over the past 2 years. he knows you so well, probably better than anyone else in your life– probably better than he knows himself. 

so when seokmin sees you evading his eyes with his cock stretching you open, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“hey,” he whispers, stilling inside of you. when you don’t turn your head and your eyes are still closed, he calls for you. “baby?”

you feel your heart clench at the pet name. “hmm?” you hum.

“baby, do you not wanna do this anymore?” he questions worriedly, ready to pull away from you. “i can pull out.”

you mumble, “i-i do.” 

he cocks his head even more confused, “talk to me, pretty, what’s going on?”

he pushes into you some more, making you gasp and you can feel his expectant eyes burning holes into your face. you then realize he’s not gonna let this go, but it’s partially your fault for letting your mind wander while he was putting away the dinner you guys ate. you decide to just come out with it.

“‘m just… so scared of graduating…” you whimper between your words, eyes screwing tighter. 

he hums, “look at me, baby.” the demand comes out so soft, yet the sheer dominance of his voice makes you clench around him. you turn your head on the pillow, opening your eyes, and finally looking at him. “why?”

you shudder at the eye contact. he looks so pretty, so concerned over you, yet you’re still tense and oh-so nervous. the topic of post-grad has never come up, and now you’re mid-fuck about to tell him how you want to be with him forever. 

“i-i’m scared that… that you’re gonna go off without me,” you pant, hands wrapping around his biceps and holding him to keep you stable. 

“where am i gonna go, beautiful?” he whispers, bottoming out and fully sheathing himself inside of you. 

you whimper again, his massive cock filling you so well. “s-scared you’re gonna go do big things ‘n leave me…” 

he freezes at that, eyes widening, “leave you?” he asks incredulously as if he couldn’t believe that you’d ask that question. “baby, you think i’d leave you?” 

you nod slowly. “i dunno, ‘s just that i’ve been thinking ‘n you’re so smart– gonna go get a real job that’s across the country or something…” 

he’s honestly bewildered. why would you ever think something like that when he’s tried so hard to show you how much he loves you every single day?

“oh, baby, i would never fucking leave you.” he presses his forehead yours, nose rubbing against yours. “pretty fucking thing, i adore you— love you. more than anything.”

your eyes glisten with tears at the reassurance. you feel yourself relax under him, entirely fluttering at his words. “really?”

“yes, really. how can i prove it to you? want me to put a ring on your finger?” he whispers, breath fanning against your face. 

you gasp, clenching around him again, fingers digging into his muscles. he smiles, chuckling airly at your reaction. 

“my pretty baby wants that? you like that idea?” he asks, his sultry voice filling your ears. “you wanna be my wife?”

you nod your head, eyes fluttering shut as you moan, “yeah, w-wanna be your wife.” 

your response has seokmin reeling. he pulls his hips back and slams back into you making both of you moan again. 

“yeah? bet you want my kids, too.” he states boldly, mind cringing at his words and internally freaking out that you’ll get turned off at them. 

you choke, clamping tightly around his length. “f-fuck.” you cry. “d-don’t say things like that, seok.”

“why? ‘cuz i’m right?” he grunts, thrusts growing faster.

you nod your head and seokmin nearly cries, cock twitching at the idea of pumping you full of cum and getting you pregnant with his kids. you’d be such a great mom and he’d love having a mini-seok running around a nice, big house fit to take a family. 

admittedly, he’s been wanting to talk about his future with you. he’s been fantasizing about it since the first time he said he loved you. fantasizing about you being his wife and living together in a big house and having three kids and living happily ever after as if it were some fairytale. he’s imagined your kids and how they would be a constant reminder of his everlasting love for you. he hopes that they’ll look like both of you– kids with your eyes and his nose. he’d kill for that.

“wanna put a baby in you,” he mumbles, lips ghosting over yours. “swear to god, ‘m gonna give you everything you want– ‘ll get you a ring ‘n a house– everything. just say the word.”

you lift your head to press your lips to his, moaning into his mouth like a mad woman. your stomach drops in anticipation, suddenly craving the feeling of his warm cum filling you to the brim, sure to get you pregnant. your legs wrap around him, heels digging into his back and you can’t resist the cry that he ends up swallowing at the new angle. 

seokmin pulls back, panting, “gonna let me give it to you, baby?” 

“uh-huh!” you nod, eyes screwing shut and jaw going slack as his speed increases. “yes, yes, please give it to me.” your response is wavered as you nearly choke on a sob of pleasure. 

and you know the decision is haste– a baby even though you still have a month left of undergrad seems… absurd to say the very least, but you don’t need to think about anything. you know seokmin. you know he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. he's an amazing boyfriend and person in general. you already know he’d make an even more amazing husband and father. 

who would’ve thought the nerdy man with glasses who was insanely good at chemistry would be the one you ended up with?

he lets out a guttural moan, “such a good girl, always saying please.” he praises, slamming into your sweet spot repeatedly.

and jesus fucking christ, your moans and cries are like music to his fucking ears. 

his head falls into your neck, licking and sucking at your skin. “never gonna leave, i promise. gonna make you mine, gonna take care of you.” he mumbles into the skin as he continues to mark and ravage you. 

the stimulation and his words are sending you into orbit as your stomach churns and tightens at the feeling of his cock rearranging your insides. his strokes are impressive, never missing a beat and unrelentingly hitting the spot that makes you crumble. 

he feels you tighten around him, gummy walls squeezing him in and he curses, “shit, is my pretty girl gonna cum already?” his voice borders on condescending, but it only makes the tightrope in your stomach all the more closer to completely unraveling. 

“y-yeah, so close,” you moan breathily as your pants increase, chest rising and falling rapidly. “so fuckin’ close, min, ‘m gonna cum.”

his lips find your ear and he whispers hotly against the shell, “come on, baby, cum for me so i can fill you up.” he gently tugs at your earlobe with his teeth and you can’t resist, back arching with a shiver running down your spine.

your orgasm brings you immense pleasure, white spots filling your vision as you cum with a loud sob. you feel it in your entire body, from your curled toes to your thrown back head. your eyes roll back, calling out his name and raking your nails down the skin of his arms. 

he coos, holding back a groan at the way you get even tighter as you soak him in arousal. “thaaat’s it, baby, just like that. so, so good for me.” he coaxes you through your euphoric high, fucking you through it as he always does. 

“s-so good,” you slur, parroting his words as your mind numbs a bit. 

he moans, letting the sound of your whimpers and the lewd sounds of your bodies meeting fill the room. he buries his head in your neck again, desperately rutting into you so he can let go, too. your eyes flutter closed again and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. 

your overstimulated pussy pulses around him as you listen and whine along to your lover's muffled moans. you can tell he’s close. so close to giving you the life you’ve imagined for almost 2 years. so close to being yours forever. 

“seok, cum inside me,” you whisper and his hips stutter, yet they keep moving as if they have a mind of their own. he lifts his head and looks at you– his eyes are clouded over and teary, yet they’re filled with all the love in the world.

he looks so beautiful above you. his face is scrunched up in pleasure, brows knitted, eyes droopy, mouth hung open as pretty sounds exit his loose lips.

“i… fucking love you…so much.” he says in between pants, thrusts growing sloppy. the telltale signs of his fast approaching orgasm becoming heavily apparent. “god, so much, baby, love you so much.”

you nod your head, mirroring his pleasured face. “me too, seok, i love you.” your words are a bit scrambled, but seokmin makes sense of them– understands you so well. 

his eyes roll back a bit at your response, brain momentarily malfunctioning, but he comes back seconds later. “gonna take this load like a good girl, right, pretty? gonna get pregnant and let me marry you?” he moans out breathily, cock now twitching uncontrollably. 

“yes, yes, yes, please, wan’ it so bad!” you beg.

it’s all he needs to press his hips to yours, stilling there, and releasing inside of you while he moans out your name so prettily. it’s a newfound feeling for both of you– his cum coating your cunt, filling you up till it’s spilling on his freshly washed sheets. he’s grown accustomed to finishing on your skin or into a condom, but this? this is all very new. this is something he now can’t live without.

you think the same thing when you feel him spraying your walls with his thick ropes of cum. it feels so good– so euphoric– while it’s leaking out of you. you don’t know how you’ve gone your entire adult life without experiencing this at least once.  

“c-came so much, baby…” you whimper, feeling him pull his cock out of you. 

as soon as he sees his release dripping out of you, he groans softly, already feeling hard again, but he decides to ignore it for now, bringing his attention back to you.

“hey… love,” he says softly, noticing the way you perk up a bit from your tired state just at the sound of your name. “you should’ve told me you felt like that… i hate that you thought i’d just leave you ‘cause we won’t be in school anymore.”

you frown, “i’m sorry, i didn’t know how to bring it up without being awkward… it’s the real world and i dunno… things are different.”

he sighs, hands running up and down your naked sides. “i get it, but like i said, i wanna be with you forever.”

you blush, biting your lip to hide the wide grin that ends up on your face despite the fact. “yeah, i remember… was that a proposal by the way?” you ask meekly. 

he squeezes at your waist, “did you want it to be?” he beams.

“i mean, it was a bit untraditional, definitely not how i expected my wedding proposal to be.” 

“what? you mean you didn’t think you’d get proposed to while i had my dick inside you?” he asks with faux incredulity. “i, for one, thought this was the best proposal ever. i even put a lil baby in you.”

you giggle, wrapping your legs around his body again, “you don’t know that, i’m not pregnant… yet.”

his heart swells at the idea and he smiles brightly at your blushy face, “well, maybe another round can change that, hmm?”

you pull him closer to you by the strength of your legs and say, “make me yours then, seokmin.”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[icedemi]

ᡣ𐭩 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐗 !

FEATURING: dazai !

SYNOPSIS: dazai almost forgot his birthday?! might as well give him a night to remember forever . . .

CONTENT WARNING(S): NSFW content , MDNI , DOM! READER , SUB! DAZAI!! overstimulation , orgasm denial , kinky sex , gender neutral reader. NOT proofread..

ᡣ𐭩

" 'samu, guess what day ittttt issss! " you cheered, eagerly awaiting his response with your hands hidden behind your back.

— " i dunno, garbage day? shit! don't tell me we forgot to take out the bin again.. " he sighed as he retrieved his phone from his coat pocket.

" ill call atsushi, im sure he wouldn't mind emptying it for us " —

" ah.. not quite.. c'mon silly, take a look at the calendar! "

he turned his head to look at the calendar and noticed the 19th marked with "BIRTHDAY" in pink pen, underlined twice with a bunch of hearts around it.

— " ah so today we celebrate the unfortunate day i was involuntarily brought into this dreadful world..." he joked, his eyes lingering on the calendar before turning his gaze to you with his beautiful brown eyes... how could he look so good talking about depressing shit?? —

" oh, stop sulking and open your gift! " you huff, shoving the wrapped present in his face with a pout.

— he chuckled as he opened his gift, a smile spreading across his face. "awh darling, you shouldn't have..."

as he opened the gift his eyes widened at what he saw inside, he picked it up to reveal a vibrator.. —

" surpriseeee! I was thinking we could pass the time before your surprise party at the agency tonight. " you giggled, hugging his waist while teasingly rubbing your knee over his bulge.

— " my mmfph– s.. surprise party huh..? god 'donna you're so bad at keeping secrets... " —

ᡣ𐭩 —————————————

you two had been at it for hours now, dazai is a complete whimpering, whiny teary-eyed mess! god how cute and pathetic he looks

he's practically shooting blanks at this point, however you don't plan on stopping one bit! infact you even brought in a blindfold and a ball-gag just for him! how sweet of you!!

ever so sweetly dragging the vibrator over his flushed pink tip, occasionally pumping his dick just to watch his gasp and beg for more, desperately thrusting into your hand for release..

... just for you to remove your hand and vibrator

— " fuck! mngh-ph.. 'd-..ah!..donna.. c-cmon don't be so mean... " —

... " y'know, naughty boys who aren't grateful, don't deserve to cum... it's a privilege, not a right.. understand me 'samu? you won't be cumming until i allow you to.. "

he desperately whined, nodding his head ever so slowly before shooting it back as you grab ahold of his cock.

— a-augh!~ nmph~ !

" yeah... you’re a dirty slut, aren’t you? but you’re my dirty slut, isn't that right 'samu..? "

... " im gonna have so much fun breaking you tonight! "

ᡣ𐭩 —————————————

AUTHORS NOTES

— yea ur getting edged !! totally not me just running out of ideas 💔

.. sigh, tysm for voting on this !! it was rlly fun to write and i hope you enjoy it 😓😓

stockholm syndrome w fyodor is coming out tomorrow or friday, just a teeny warning it contains like medical / drug kinks??? idfk he drugs you and youre supposed to like it 😭😭

also should i start writing for other fandoms like hsr?? idk about genshin since i haven't been active since fontaines release 😓. 100% inlove w lyney though.. and fremi omg he's so cute

THANK U FOR READING ILYSM

© icedemi please don't steal, re-upload or translate my work ill cry and sob my eyes out!! reblogs r appreciated and ill literally let you makeout w me /pos

[hockeymenarehot]

hey! i really like ur writing and i was wondering if you could write a bill kaulitz smut w a daddy kink or smth? please and thank youu<3

"Daddy". Feat. Bill Kaulitz

hi love! thanks for your kind words, of course I can do that for you! <3 I also hope u don't mind if I formatted this a bit differently, I might do a full fic of this another time.

summary: bill kaulitz w/ a daddy kink. that's it, that's the fic.

warnings: smut, p in v, daddy kink (obviously), mean bill, oral (fem. receiving), hints to public sex, sorta humiliation kink, degradation, name calling (slut, whore), praise, he worships you, no use of y/n, pet names (princess, good girl), lmk if I missed anything! :)

Bill Kaulitz with a daddy kink would... Tease you relentlessly when he first finds out, halting his motions to the words that had slipped out of your mouth. He would tease you nonstop, not moving another inch until you said it again. He claimed he didn't hear you, but the way he was twitching inside you told another story.

"C'mon, speak up. I'm not movin' again until you told me what you said, darling."

Bill Kaulitz with a daddy kink would... Refuse to respond to any other name during sex, even punishing you when you slipped. He could be so mean! Once you had accidentally moaned out his real name, and he ate you out for so long you nearly passed out. You couldn't complain, though. His tongue is heavenly.

"Hm? What was that? It's Daddy to you, slut. Since you have such a hard time remembering things, I'm gonna fuck you so hard with my tongue you won't be able to remember anything at all."

Bill Kaulitz with a daddy kink would... Use it to his advantage, obviously. When you've been especially bad he'll use it to humiliate you, insisting you call him daddy in public spaces where others might hear. If you don't, he'll give you the best backshots of your life in the nearest public restroom. So mean!

"Aw, does my princess not want everyone to know what a slut she is? That it? Well that's just too bad, because I'm gonna make sure everyone hears your sweet noises."

Bill Kaulitz with a daddy kink would... Always make sure to pleasure you in any way you want, making sure you never forget how much he needs you. How much he worships you. He'll always be there to take care of you, as long as you're his good girl.

"Yeah that's -fuck- it, just like that. You're such a good girl. Daddy's good girl."

Bill Kaulitz with a daddy kink would... Buy a mug that says "Best Dad Ever" even when he has no kids.

a/n: sorry if this was short! whipped it up really quick. if u enjoyed this it would rlly help to reblog! If you've sent a request, just know I'm working on it and I'll have it out soon. requests are also still open, so if u have a prompt or idea ill gladly make it happen! :)

[lariej]

Ghost’s Manc Accent Guide (ish)

listen i’ve seen a few guides written for this fandom regarding writing Soap’s Scottish accent and yeah fair BUT i have not seen one done for writing a manc accent for Ghost yet!!

this is very much gonna be half arsed because while I myself am not a manc, i have grown up in the north west of england and literally my entire family is (Bolton/Denton on my dads side, Sale on my mums) but it might help some people

if something is from Manchester it is Mancunian - just an extra word to use instead of ‘from Manchester’ in writing (also whenever i see it written in fics i go ‘oh damn this author knows what they’re on about’)

now my experience with manc accents as i said before is Bolton/Denton and Sale which have their differences from a Central Manchester accent. to my knowledge we don’t know what area Ghost is from so i could be wrong here

BUT!! generally, mancunian accents will drop Hs at the beginning of words

‘don’t be hanging about’ ends up sounding more like ‘don’t be ‘angin’ about’

one of the most common things I’ve seen is dropping the G at the end of -ing words as well (as seen about with hanging)

you get the classic northern “fuckin ‘ell!”through this which absolutely Ghost would say

this next one might not be a central manchester thing but it IS something i’ve heard my dad do so if you’re writing Ghost with a heavier accent from the outer regions of Manchester this could be of some use to you

‘you was’, ‘I were’, ‘we was’ - just fucking around with the grammar rules really, I’ve found it’s usually with the heavier accents and when ur getting a bit ‘lazier’ with speaking - definitely a very informal thing

also - we don’t say y’all. it is very much not a typical thing for someone to use y’all unless they have a lot of interaction with american content on social media which i doubt Ghost does

instead consider ‘yous’ - this might be more from where i’m from (Lancashire - further up north about a county over from Greater Manchester) but yous/yers are something u hear - again though, very informal and slang like, rarely hear adults say it

I’m not gonna go into much detail with specific mancunian slang simply bc i wasn’t raised there so my knowledge of it is spotty aside from what my family uses but:

arse not ass

can’t be arsed - can’t be bothered

piss off - self explanatory, fuck off

add ‘absolutely’ to damn near anything and u will have a phrase for drunk - go tos are ‘wankered’ ‘fucked’ ‘pissed/pissed up’

bollacks - balls but also can be used as and exclamation when stuff goes wrong

‘shits gone tits up’ - stuff has definitely gone wrong

‘fuck sake’ - usually said with great exasperation and annoyance, emphasis when speaking is on the ‘sake’

hope this helps someone!! and if anyone has any corrections or additions please do let me know!!

Edit: Lots more info and help in the reblogs!! I’ve been updating this post recently!!

[woobots]

SMALL APPRECIATION POST <3

hi...people...who...probably got this in their notifcations. LISTEN. i'm sorry for the unwanted tags BUT!! this is just a little thing noting my appreciation or WHATEVER else. please ignore if you want! and uh this is gonna be a part one?? i'll do another part in the future i think :)

okay so actually idk how to start this + order means nothing, just who came to mind first :)

@topazwrld hii <3 thank you for being a WONDERFUL moot just to start it off. i LOVE ur characters & ur groups and just everything, they're all so cool and the way u make ur lineups so pretty always has me so surprised. ur so nice, ty for letting me rant to u abt reyes and letting me make connections with ur ocs </3 - in short, really tysm for just being great and everything!!!

@pureun hi :D UR SO COOL. JUST LIKE FYI. UR SO COOL REALLY. the COOLEST. i'm so excited for all your ocs already, i just know all of them are amazing and just !!!!!!!!!! yeah !!!!!!!!!! thank you for being supportive with my ocs & even other peoples oc! it's very reassuring to get little comments & reblogs but i'm SURE yk that !! anyway, idk how to wrap this up but UR AMAZING !!! ty for the playlist too btw <3

@lcmonheads hi :D I LOVE UR OCS SM !!!! everyone in lemonheads are actually my kids, just so you know!! i love those boys </3 and ofc sweetner !!!!!!! and noah !!!!!!!! ur so nice </3 and just everything u do is so cool !!!! I LOVE IT !!!! STAY AMAZING !!! TY FOR BEING A MOOT !!

@cultkive ur ocs :(( are :(( so :(( cool :(( !!!!!!!!!!!! judy is my most beloved ever...i love her more than anything, just the way u write her and just EVERYTHING !!! not only that but ego too!! they're so cool, ik u just put them out but !!!!!!! yeah. and ur very kind too !!! ty for being kind and everything. ur amazing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@glasshcvse YOU'RE SO COOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean it. you're one of the coolest people in the whole community. ur ocs and everything are one of a KIND !!!! stupid cupid my beloveds btw...and veronika...i love them. actually, like i really like UHMMM admire you??? i'm not sure how to phrase it but you're a very big inspiration to me within the community!!!!

@enaeura HELLO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hi, i just wanted to say ur very amazing & cool and that. i love your ocs and the way you write everything so much. LIKE EVERYTIME I READ ONE OF NAISU'S LITTLE CHAPTERS MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR. and cleo too </3 i love her so much, she's so cool and amazing. the way u write her is just GREAT ... but !!!!!!! yeah, you're very cool <3 ur ocs are cool <3 everything abt u is cool <3 stay amazing. OH AND !!!! ateez cleo is my most favorite thing to ever exist. i needed to get that off my chest.

@chcrryade i wasn't sure whether to tag this blog or ur others so...i'll give this one a go, sorry!!!!!!! BUT. i loveeeeeee UR STUFF SOOOO MUCH. cherryade my most beloveds. i love the way you've done everything for them so far, the yt video deep dives??? those are so cool and well written. AND !!!!! kihyun too. he's gotta be one of my top additions. i love him so much. but anyway! ur stuff is so amazing </3 i'm in love with it all. ur so cool, stay cool, stay amazing.

i'm just gonna make a list now of other accounts or people i find so cool or amazing. please forgive me for the tags and i'm sorry i couldn't say anything else, my brain has frozen. BUT I DO LOVE ALL UR ACCS, U GUYS ARE SO COOL AND AMAZING AND I LOOK UP TO AND ADMIRE ALL OF U!!!!!!!

@venusvity ... @v1nylz ... @tab1oid ... @totallystars ... @vhsdolly ... @plasticflwrs ... @dulcebot ... @arcanids ... @99kitsch ... @attuncd ... @ppangs ... @midmourn ... @starbcrnes

I'M SO SORRY FOR ANYONE I DIDN'T MENTION!! + i think the tags cut out after so some of u might not've been tagged but that's tumblrs fault i promise...

[tetsuswaifu]

Hellooooo I’m in love with ur kuroo fics 😩 I want to request something but it’s okay if u feel uncomfortable bcs I’ve been going through a rough time with SH and the thought of relapsing always stuck in my head can u do Kuroo helping out his gf that struggles with self harm 🫶🫶🫶

Help Me, Please

word count: 781-f! reader

a/n: hii love! thank you so much i really hope that this helps you cope or find solace in someway. i'm so sorry you are having to deal with that, my heart goes out to you, please dont hesitate to dm me or someone you trust if you need someone to talk to, thank you again for the request, please take care of yourself love 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 have a wonderful day/night !

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated, thank you for taking the time to read my work :)

You sat outside on the balcony floor of your apartment, knees pulled up to your chest as you stared blankly at the city lights below. Tonight, the weight of your emotions pressed down on you like a heavy blanket. The cool night breeze did little to calm the intrusive thoughts you were having. You looked down at the raised scars on your wrists, running a finger over one of the bigger ones. The urge to add more was overwhelming, but you knew you needed to fight it. Taking a deep breath, you picked up your phone, hesitating a moment before dialing Kuroo's number. He picked up almost immediately.

"Hey, beautiful. "What's going on? Can't sleep?" Kuroo's voice was warm and comforting,

"Can you come over," you whispered, "I'm... uh... I'm not doing so well right now and I-uh, need you."

"I'm on my way. Stay where you are, okay? I'll be there in ten," he replied without hesitation, his tone now serious and concerned.

True to his word, your boyfriend arrived swiftly. He let himself in with the spare key you had given him in the past. He found you on the balcony, tears streaming down your face as you remained in the same position. Kuroo heart broke at the sight of you in so much pain. He didn't hesitate to scoop you up into his arms, holding you tightly.

"I'm here, baby," he murmured into your hair. "I'm here."

You clung to him, feeling the warmth of his embrace seep into your cold skin. "It's so hard, Tetsu. I don't know how to make these thoughts stop."

Kuroo pulled back slightly to look into your eyes. "We'll figure it out together, okay? I'm going to be here for you, no matter what." You buried your face into his chest, bawling your eyes out. He held you, whispering soothing words and stroking your hair.

He noticed the faint scars on your wrists, gently taking your hands in his. He pressed soft kisses on each one, "These don't define you, Y/N. You're so much more than this pain. You're so strong, and I'm so incredibly proud of you for reaching out before you did anything." He pushed back a strand of hair behind your ear. "Let's go inside and talk, okay? We'll come up with a plan."

Inside, the two of you sat on the couch, Kuroo never letting go of your hand. He listened to you as you began to pour out your feelings and struggles. He never once interrupted, allowing you to talk about everything you needed to until there was nothing left to say.

"Y/N," he said gently, looking into your eyes, still holding onto your hand, "have you thought about talking to a therapist? It might help to have someone to talk to who can give you tools to cope."

You nodded slowly, the idea of opening up to a stranger was terrifying to you, "I've thought about it, but I'm scared." You gave a small shrug, disappointed in your self.

"It's okay to be scared, baby," he reassured you. "But I'll be with you every step of the way. We can find someone together. You're not going through this alone, that is a promise." He kissed each of your wrists once more, followed by a soft kiss to your forehead.

His words gave you a sense of calm you hadn't felt in a long time. "Okay," you said softly. "I'll try."

"That's my girl," he said, smiling softly. "I'm gonna make sure you're taken care of. We'll take it one day at a time."

You both had spent the rest of the night talking about lighter things, Kuroo made sure to keep the mood positive. "Thank you, for everything you do for me," giving him a peck on the lips.

"Always, princess. I love you so much, Y/N. You have no idea how much I want only the best for you," he pressed another gentle kiss to your forehead.

Kuroo stayed with you until you fell asleep, your head resting on his shoulder. As he watched you sleep, he vowed to himself he would do everything in his power to help you through this. He knew the road to recovery would be difficult, but he loved you too much to let you do this alone. You're his whole world, he would do anything to make sure you were taken care of.

In the morning, you woke to find Kuroo still next to you. His presence was a comforting reminder that you weren't alone. For the first time in a long while, you felt a glimmer of hope. With your loving boyfriend's unwavering support, you knew you could face whatever challenges lay ahead.

[isatoru]

ok bro so i don't know how to make this post SDJFHSH and say hi hello i missed everyone without being awkward and facing cricket noises since it's been over a year since i’ve logged in LMFAO and ppl still following r gonna be like ??? but .... ASKDUSDL HELLO!!!!! 🙂‍↕️ to everyone that is still here ... <3

I MISSED YA'LL SM OMG ;---; i hope some of you still remember me so this won’t be too awkward 🙂‍↕️🙏

on that note!!!! i have returned because i have really bad gojo and isagi brainrot since rewatching/rereading jjk + getting into bllk fr this time LMAOO (also getou and rin... among others but currently mostly those!!) I AM ALSO CURRENTLY REWATCHING BNHA TOO AFTER SO SO LONG AND </3 getting back into that fs... shouto is currently hitting and i have not once thought abt him like that lmfaoo

+ i have so many fics i have completed that i want to post !!! i have been cooking in isolation and after much needed self growth and love in writing <3 ;v; (gojo, isagi, and nanami ones mostly lmaoo AND ALSO A SUKUNA SERIES I WANT TO POST) AND IDK WHAT TO POST FIRST LOL

also bro i want to yap about characters and arcs analysis sm lmao... i've gotten into just. writing analysis of stuff i read and get into -- i might even make a separate blog for that since i'm like heavily into berserk (like really bad bro, i willingly sat and wrote essays for fun during finals week just bc of berserk KJSDFH) and souls games too rn LMAOOO (bg3 as well perhaps if anyone is into that too!! i love shadowheart a lot... 500+ hours... and ow <3 1k+ yikes) i mostly just rlly wanna yap about blue lock and jjk and bnha somewhere even if it's to the void on here lmfaooo

also to the mutuals (that remain... <3) please do not be alarmed if u see me in ur notifs reblogging fics for my current faves and yapping in ur tags 🙂‍↔️ like in the next few days LMFAO i have been deprived of reading good fic for soooo long bruh and now im like. I NEED TO READ FOR GOJO AND ISAGI SO BAD…. i missed fic so bad...

would ya'll be chill if i posted writing out of the blue here lmao and changed my username ??... it wouldn't be too awkward ?? 🙂‍↔️ (for the username i will change it in a few days despite my impatience so i give everybody like a chance to get used to me being on their dash so it won't be too alarming LMAOO)

[enposter]

++ ENHYPEN's HYUNG LINE HAVING A CRUSH ON ANOTHER IDOL °.+*

pairing: idol!enhypen hyung line x idol!reader

warnings: none as i know of. maybe mention of getting stuck in an elevator, food mention

a/n: i didnt rlly know what to name this reaction this was the best i came up w 🥸 also im sorry hee and jays r much shorter i will make them longer next time

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <3

navigation.

lee heeseung — 이희승

i have a huge Huge feeling dude would Not know what to do 😭

esp if ur under hybe as well??? He would always see u in the hallways and would be so starstruck by ur beauty every single time so would you

poor baby would be too shy to start up a conversation with you and would end up longing from afar :(

BUT!!! you guys got stuck in an elevator together. while its not the most ideal situation to be in.

He!! Lee Heeseung!! had the chance to talk to you!!!!!

he was So gonna rub this in ni-ki's face bc little shit said he was never gonna balls up and start a convo 😒

and start a conversation he did

you guys ending up hitting it off and exchanged numbers <3

talking whenever and eating lunch together when you both can <3

imagine learning each others dances together :(( AFFGH

SINGING EACH OTHERS SONGS AAHHHH

the hybe family games together agshdjsjcj

after the hybe family games u guys are one of the cutest friendships in kpop and everyone loves you so much

sunghoon owes jake 10 bucks now since hee talked to you

park jongseong — 박종성

jay really just Screams friends to lovers to me it makes so much sense

you guys have been friends ever since you met at inkigayooo.

sunoo actually gave you a sandwich cause he was a huge fan of ur group wanting to be friends pleek TT

ANYWAYS,,, ur group and enha became close, seeing as you debuted around the same time and were all around the same age.

jay fell for you so easily, your humor and personality were charming, inviting. everything about you was perfect to him.

honestly you never really knew jay liked you because you thought he treated you like everybody else???

THAT IS !!!! until you heard the jakehoon talking abt it

you went complete 🚨🚨🚨 /pos maybe like 🚨😮🥰🚨

YOU NEEDED TO KNOW IF THIS WAS SERIOUS??? obviously who wouldnt need to know if jay liked them???

you never thought of him in that way. but it just felt so right when you did

you didnt wanna push so you just sat not so calmy with this newfound information until you couldnt hold it in anymore.

safe to say, you two are partners and so are happy <3

sim jaeyun — 심재윤

jakey jakey jakey jakeyyy

your group had debuted before enha and niki was a huge fan because WOW?? UR DANCING SKILLS?? out of this WORLD

niki soon introduced ur group to sunoo, sunoo introduced it to jake and jake introduced it so Everybody.

he was just so captivated by you. ur vibe everything about you was just so interesting to him.

he spent the first whole night he learnt abt ur group binging video and compilations of you.

jakey was a hardcore fanboy now

everything was fine and he was fanboying alone until you both were promoting at the same time

poor puppy was a Mess.

remember how he was looking at the wall instead of wony? yeah thats him but 2007382 worse because his ears are so red from looking at you One time.

but somehow !! someway !! he mustered up the courage to talk to you

cue kissin u by miranda cosgrove sparks fly its like electricity i might die when i forget how to breathe you get closer and theres nowhere in this world id rather be

you thought he was so cute because he was so sweet and shy talking to you. and you!! YOU!!! gave him!! your number🥰

jakey would send you dog videos any chance and if ur a cat person he'd send cute cat videos too but mostly dogs aka layla

itd be kinda hard to hangout since ur in different companies but you guys facetimed any chance you could get

AGGH i love sim jake so much i might cry

and

"baby did you know that i was a huge fan of you and ur group! :D thats why i came and talked to you"

"i know jakey" "HOW????" "riki told me"

absolute betrayal noises he'd be so dramatic goodness

park sunghoon — 박성훈

i feel like he first saw you at music bank since he was an mc

your group was promoting ur new cute concept mini album and goodness

you were just. So. Cute.

absolutely melted but kept quite composed yk how it is professional things

hoon would talk abt u all the time but would Not make a move toward actually talking to you. smh

our wonyoung and enha were actually the ones who pushed him to Say Something

so one day on ur groups last day of promoting wony gave sunghoon a stern look and Bro Booked it trying to find you

he was looking around, out of breath from running and didnt even notice that he bumped into and knocked you over

was so extremely flustered

he did help you up tho like the gentleman he is <3

apologized profusely would not stop until he literally made you push him over also 😭

you just tapped him cause ??? why would you push him over pls

you guys did not exchange numbers cause hoon was too flustered to do anything and bowed and walked into a wall away

you guys will be pushed together again one day i promise you

You just have to ask for his number next time <:]

enposter @ tumblr | 2022

[kairiscorner]

AWOO AWOO ANON IS BACK WITH ANOTHER GWEN PROMPT 🚨🚨🚨 (but it’s abt like parent talk and annoyances so its okay if you don’t wanna do this <33)

HELLO P!! Hehehejhee I hope ur doing well!!! I just come up with a bit of a wholesome kinda angsty idea

Details: reader comes to Gwen’s apartment to rant abt parental issues (minor inconveniences, bickering with parents, details that are pretty minor but it’s so triggering)

LIKE

(Alam mo yung usual na pinapagsabihan ka like they’re scolding/annoyed kahit na minor lang yung topic 😅?)

Ex. “Ugh my mom rolled her eyes and honestly scoffed when i talked abt Barbie etc.”

(Tas pag tatay nakakatakot mag salita parang galit lagi)

Ex. Pag sinigaw pangalan to call you tas pagutos. BASICALLY ACTING LIKE HE’S BETTER GANON

(TAS LIKE YOU HAVE TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS W BOTH) ((ofc it’s different for everyone but idk why i feel like this is almost universal BKA AKO LANG HAHAHAHAH))

AHEM

So! Just a deep talk with Gwen about how she deals with bickering/fights with her dad would be a cool conversation!! Especially since it’s only them too

(Doesn’t hav to be specific! You can play around with it ofc!! Loaf u and hav a splendid week <3)

(AY CLARIFY LANG suggestions r different from fanfic reqs right..? I don’t wanna be makulit sa suggestions tas yun pala bawal ehe ^^”)

HI POOOO ooo i love the idea! esp bc i'm always one to rant about my parents when we fight 😭😭😭 loaf u too platonically boo 🫶🫶and also, yes! suggestions would be kind of like an idea, but not really asking for a fic to be made, just an idea you wanna share (at least that's how it's gonna be like on my blog!) PERO OK, I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS !!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

gwen plopped herself down on the edge of the bed next to you, her expression full of dismay and aggravation. you looked over at her with a semi-fretful gaze. "what happened, gwinny?" you asked her as she sighed and looked into your eyes. "it's my dad, again..." she muttered as she covered her face with her hands, falling back down on your bed as your eyes followed her. you lay down on your side next to her and gently asked her in a whisper if she wants to talk about it. gwen breathed in deeply removed her hands from her face and looked at you from the corner of her eye.

"oh, where to even begin?" she asked aloud to nobody in particular, smiling ever so slightly in an ironic manner as she looked up at your ceiling. she didn't speak for a few moments, until she finally found the strength to open up, even by a tiny bit. she opened up about how her father has been putting a curfew on her, after hearing her sneak back into her room after her nightly patrols. she got mad at him for enforcing that curfew, and he got mad at her for not realizing how all he wants is for her to be safe. "he just wants to feel at ease, like he's not... like he's not failing as a dad." she grumbled out as her eyebrows scrunched up a little as her gaze towards your ceiling morphed into a glare.

"i get how he wants me to be safe, bravo for you dad, but... at least i come home. you leave all the time, what difference does it make if i'm not there at home? what difference does it make when we're both on patrol, we're both concerned about the city and each other, i have your back, it's just... you don't know i'm the one doing the saving, which is good for you." gwen ranted as her voice became softer, as if her inner turmoil had simmered down and hearing her speak her thoughts out was less gratifying than she thought it'd be. gwen breathed in deeply as you moved closer to her, not tearing your eyes away from her one bit.

"i know how you feel, kinda. i sometimes feel like my parents never want me to have any fun, but at the end of the day... they do it for a reason. might not always seem like good reasons, but trust me when i say that among all those reasons," you placed a hand on her shoulder, which caused her to look at you with eyes shimmering with twinkles of shame in them, slight shame that she spoke about her father that way, but they were still gleaming with confusion and frustration, "his love for you as your dad is the biggest reason of all." you finished with a smile as gwen's expression went from agitated to remorseful.

gwen leaned over towards you and pressed her forehead against yours. she gently took your hand in hers and interlocked your fingers together. "thank you... well, i have a lot of explaining to do the minute i get home, then. can't really tell him i've been spider woman for the night again, but i can't really tell him any other made up reason. i just... i want him to stop worrying sometimes." she confessed as you squeezed her hand. you chuckled as you brushed away her hair from her forehead. "he's a dad, he's supposed to worry." you reminded her as you kissed her forehead. "and it's okay." you said as gwen wrapped her arm around your waist and hugged you.

"i guess... sorry i had to dump this all on you when you're supposed to be sleeping." "gwen, never be sorry for letting off some steam. you work so hard to save people you don't even know... and yet you're hesitant about saving yourself. let me save you, at least once for all the times you've saved me." you said as you hugged gwen back. gwen couldn't murmur a 'thank you' anymore as she felt like that wouldn't be enough to do you justice. she held on to you tighter, wishing this moment could last longer. she swore to herself, though, that by tomorrow morning, she'd say sorry to her dad. she'd say sorry and express how she doesn't want to worry him, how she wants nothing more than for him to be at ease, to trust her. and she hopes that one day, she'll be okay with him, they'll be okay with each other; and she has you to thank for helping her realize this.

tags !! @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy

[tommyssupercoolblog]

HI i'm a tommyinnit factive and this is where I go feral !!! I have a misce submission sideblog called @justomegathingss as well but it's mostly inactive because no one ever submits to it lol

I co-host with my in system husband @septiccoffeefreak so we're in front 90% of the time, we're v clingy so we're always co-con or co front lol. I also write septicinnit fanfic w him and I draw fanart so,,,, both posts w us specifically and the general septicinnit RPF ship will be here. u've been warned!!

I have no DNI but I block freely!! I also am pro RPF and proship ("ship and let ship") so like,, if u wanna block me about that u should do dat- I don't post dark content really or consume it because I don't like to personally?? so that won't be on my blog!!! But it's worth noting I support people's right to MAKE that content, and i don't think someone making or consuming dark content means they condone it IRL.

BLOG NAVIGATION (these links may not work on mobile- app users can use search instead):

#i made a textpost

#asks

#tommy's og art

OTHER (these links are fine on mobile lol):

Portfolio and Comissions

Printify Store

Pinterest

Youtube

Me and Seán's Ao3 account

Spotify

my old pinned (colourful!!! silly!!! beloved!!! but hard to read and even longer than this one) is under the cut for preservation

OK INTRO POST WHEE!!!!!!

Hewwo besties. hello girliepops. hello boys, hello gamers, hello homestuckers and evil little creatures it is me!!!! hi!!! HELLO hi hi hi!!!! a million hellos forever and ever and....

okay fine sorry, just one last hi: hi!! I'm a Tommyinnit factive in a system and I do art sometimes!! I also play a lot of animal crossing like way too much animal crossing like my autism has me in a chokehold i play it everyday. I use he/him pronouns :3. and I am MARRIED.

My husband, Seán, is a Jacksepticeye factive in the same system as me!! we cohost/cocon together and I love him SO MUCH and I infodump about him and his source sometimes so. BE WARNEDED!!!! his acc is @septiccoffeefreak if you want to go acknowledge how fucking cool and awesome he is which you SHOULD!!! We came up with the septicinnit shipname actually!!! And write the first fics for it!! So understandably I am absolutely FERAL about it like biting clawing going insane feral. my babygirl...

I don't hold myself to a blog theme but I tend to post a lot of decora and cutesy rainbow things on this blog, as well as memes and videos I found on my feed!!! and sometimes!!! if ur lucky!!! I post an omegaverse post!!! (check out @justomegathingss for more as well) or like an actual hot take on the universe!!! though again usually it is just reblogs of sanrio characters and decora fits lol. I also of course post a ton of my art and some original posts where I go feral about something or other and scream really really loud to my terrified (but intrigued and entranced) followers. expect the unexpected. be prepared for chaos

I have no DNI for my blog, but I will block u if I decide that having you unblocked makes my internet experience sucky in some way. this is my little corner of the internet an i will customize it in whatever silly way makes my brain go brrrr

The Magical Special Poggers Tags, with which you can Navigate my Blog:

#Tommy's OG ART wow - art i made!

#I made a textpost - a combo of original textposts, as well as reblogs I made with text on them!!

#asks - asks i received!!! (asks i sent to someone ELSE and am reblogging the response to would go under #I made a textpost)

If I reblog something without any art or text attached at all, that's gonna be untagged (usefully, anyway)- but I figure if you're hunting through my blog for a post it's probably not a blank reblog anyway.

For more information about me and links to my other socials, look at my Caard, Tommyfactive.carrd.co !!! it has a bunch or really poggers info and links to my pintrest and stuff so like u should totally look at it. U might get coolness poisioning from how cool I am though /j

Commission information Here!!

Printify Store here!!!!!

[ca-suffit]

As anyone ever talked about the showrunners decisions to choose biracial actors for season 1 to play black characters?

I have never seen people talk about it,but i don't really follow this fandom. I know in America they don't make the difference, a biracial, the one drop rule makes them all black,i'm black from Europe with African heritage, we do make the difference between black and biracial. So it was very interesting to me to always see the fandom,the press,the actors to characterize them as just black.

Don't take me wrong i know that we come in all shades,and phenotype but there probably a deliberate choice in casting light skinned biracial actors ?

The reason is clear and i can't blame them for that given the first response to their casting before the production

But i also want to read other people opinions about that,if anyone has interesting articles, threads and discussions about that please share?

Of course we can disagree,that the beauty of exchanging between adults.

I haven't finished reading it yet but I find this blog very interesting, thank you

Hello! and ohhhh boy this is gonna be a topic.

So...I'll say what I'm aware of and ofc anyone else can reblog and reply or inbox reply if u wanna be anon to respond to this.

First, and this is kind of an aside to ur main point but I just wanted to include this tho, biracial ppl in America are treated like shit. I remember Bailey Bass in...maybe one of the show podcasts? talking about how she never felt she was black until she was on the show set. On the surface, it might appear as if America is accepting and ppl are only seen as one identity, but the reality of navigating anything day to day as a biracial person is v complicated and shitty. I have gotten a lot of rly gross asks over time (which I didn't publish) about Jacob's friendship with Sam, along with his wife being white too, and it's all implied to judge him more bcuz he's biracial in the first place.

Second, Hollywood has a major colorism issue (bcuz America does). I don't know of any articles written about this for IWTV itself (I tried searching for general tumblr posts I remember seeing. I can't find the ones I wanted but I did find this about Ayo Edebiri) but I know it's been talked about in certain ways around here over time. The actor who played Jonah in S1, Thomas Antony Olajide, was considered for the role of Louis and fan reactions would have prbly been worse if he'd been cast. When Delainey replaced Bailey, a lot of negative reactions arose bcuz of colorism.

That's all I can remember rn. I don't think it's been talked about a lot tbh bcuz this fandom is so racist as it is that this would mostly...not go over well. But since this account exists now as it does, maybe ppl would be more willing to discuss it.

But generally the main reason is bcuz Hollywood barely wants to rly cast anyone but white ppl as it is, so we're still in v early days and yet the backlash that occurs every time is so extreme anyway.

[cassyapper]

HIIIIIII omg I haven't been active much on Tumblr at all aside from mindlessly reblogging stuff :wail: anyway oh my GAWD some (a lot) of the lyrics in this song fit wwm/ta 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 also I still haven't been able to do any digital art noooooo I'm going to shrivel up and wither away if I cant soon I NEED to do things like draw ur blog banner with kakyoin on it like I said I would 😭 but anyway,,,,

"Now I am stuck between my anger / and the blame that I can't face / And memories are somethin' even / smoking weed does not replace / And I am terrified of weather / 'cause I see you when it rains" "No, I am no longer funny / 'cause I miss the way you laugh" "And it's half my fault / but I just like to play the victim" "And I'll dream each night of / some version of you / That I might not have / but I did not lose / Now you're tire tracks / and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, / but that'll have to do"

"Oh, that'll have to do / My other half was you / I hope this pain's just passin' through / But I doubt it"

AAAAAUUUUGHHHH THEM. DO YOU GET MY. MY VISION.

wait I think this song is in that one Spotify list I put together for wwm/ta oughhh,, but I never like. explained it. anyway GAUGH howve you been!!!

IT'S OKAY DUDE YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE AN ONLINE PRESENCE I JSUT HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN WELL!!!! IT'S GOOD TO SEE U BACK!!! <333 i've also been busy as hell so i get it chief

AND PLEASE IT'S OKAY IF U NEVER DRAW IT MAN I DONT WANT U TO FEEL PRESSURED AT ALL IT IS ALL GOOD IT'S ONLY IF U EVER GET AROUND TO IT <3 I WANT U TO HAVE FUN PRIORITIZE UR JOY...

as for the song oh my FUCKING GOD. IT'S SO FUCKING REAL. THIS IS SO KAKYOIN WWM/TA CORE IM GONNA BE FUCKING SICK oh im actually shivering as i type im giving into grief FUUUUCK. OH MY GOD. kakyoin.............im actually sick. im adding this to my own wwm/ta playlist like FUCK

AND IVE BEEN OKAY JSUT BUSYYYY U KNOW HOW IT IS <3 I HOPE U HAVE BEEN WELL THANK U FOR THIS SONG IM ROTATING IT IN MY HEAD

[lilacs-world]

I feel like I’m chronically not okay but idk if I’m valid enough to label myself as chronically ill. I am able to work 40h a week but with the cost of laying in bed the rest of the day when I’m back home. In the weekends I sleep mostly. My room is a disaster because I never have the energy to tackle the chaos. I wished I was able to walk to work and back but standing for more than 15 min is already exhausting me and I get dizzy and lightheaded. I am constantly in pain, my normal pain level is on good days at a 2 on bad days it’s at a 4 or 5 but maybe I’m too modest about my pain due to fear of admitting I’m not okay. I am always tired even if I sleep usually enough. At times I feel more refreshed with only 4 hours of sleep hell knows why. I am waking up daily at 5:45am to get myself ready for 8am work. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be a functioning adult. I am scared of the moment I will unmask bcs im masking daily due to Audhd. Plus daily I’m confused because we are often switching and my quality at work at times fluctuating and my TLs wondering wtf bcs we know u know all the processes so wtf. Daily I feel like I know only a specific part of the processes and I have days where I ask so many questions that one of the TLs told me they are growing gray hairs bcs of me asking so much. The doctors in my country are shit when I mentioned suspecting we are a system they said nah it’s just ur anxiety. When I questioned if I have adhd my former psych said nah only kids can have it. My former therapist said yeah after unofficially diagnosing me with it. Autism I suspect that too and I got my confirmation more or less from my bf who’s on the spectrum as well. He got his confirmation he has adhd as well by me noticing lots of adhd things in him and he has now meds whilst me is in this godforsaken country that isn’t taking me seriously. I got my confirmation I have adhd when I took speed and realised for the first time "so this is how neurotypicals experience their life?" I for once had a train of thoughts in order and not a carambolage of luggage’s getting stuck in the baggage claim belt. I sobbed so hard. On good days I am able to remember and memorise lots of shit. But on bad days I barely anything. My body is out of control. I have pcos and it’s ravaging my body. I grow hair on my chin and arms and it’s making me uncomfortable and I developed anxiety about having hair in my face to the point over pluck and over shave it. My period is out of control. I either bleed for 2 months consecutive or I don’t have my period for 6 months. I am anemic due to it. I am such a pale human that I’m constantly being asked if I am okay. Oh yeah not to forget having an autoimmune disease since I am 2 years old. Having to deal with psoriasis break outs each winter where I end up being covered on my legs, arms , ass with skin patches of psoriasis. At times it’s even in my eyebrows and on my scalp. Each winter is a torture for me. I am battling with depression as well. Luckily this last year it wasn’t so overbearing and I felt more human than I used to in the past. Nonetheless my anxiety is ravaging and leaving me crippled daily. I sound ridiculous talking about myself rn bcs in my brain I feel like you aren’t this sick or unwell you are faking this you are a horrible human for saying all this things but I know it’s probably my internal ableism and the internal critical subconsciously developed voices of my surroundings telling me I’m not actually sick and I need to go to work even if sick etc. Sigh. Idk where I wanted to go with this whole post. I know you guys don’t see often a personal post from me or posts from me and more reblogs of stuff I enjoy seeing and stuff I wanna boost and stuff I find important or relatable or stuff that I think might make someone feel better and less anxious or feel seen. I hope this is fine. I hope being more real is helpful. Maybe I should do this rambling on my other blog @unfilteredrealities where I tried to talk about life in a real way , unfiltered. You can even send in your own submissions if u want to.

Anyway thanks for reading my ted talk.

TLDR: I don’t know if I’m actually chronically ill and if I’m valid enough to label myself as that and then I rambled about my life experiences with audhd, did, anxiety, depression, pcos, psoriasis and there are more but I’m exhausted.

[matchamabs]

look if im gonna have autism i might as well go balls to the wall with my fixations yeah? tho this time i was planning this for a while so,,, im not that unhinged

hello its black raven week time,,,, in like a month

i would push it further into the year but wow looks like mabs got saddled with some rlly shit legal duties!!! so :(( here we are. its time. im done makin the art and fics, this time i wanna see U GUYS do it!! i know there’s been a lot of weeks recently so this is just lax. u can make art in advance or just do one day idc just have fun with it

and as muuuch as i thought abt making a whole new blog for this i decided bleh not worth it + i already have a follower count so instead of doin THAT im just gonna b reblogging LOTS of ur stuff and also with the tag blackravenweek2023 so like shove that info into ur brain as hard as u can

if u cannot read the picture it isssss february 21st to 28th i just noticed i wrote,,,, 21th,,,,, twenty firth,,,

i have day details below the read more!!! look at them. its my gift of clarification 2 u. also obvs if anyone has annnny questions u can summon me in any manner n ill b there. 

no real rules to this one other than dont be a perv. and also don’t be a coward and draw tweeds thin cmon now. also alllll this content DOES include arianna and tony so like. no need to leave them out! let them join the party! 

Day 1 - Black Raven

The creature himself. The frontman n costume of the group! What a good design he is. Go hamwild with him!

Day 2 - Sweets 

or candy if u live over the water. its basically child jet fuel. the one thing that glues them all together!! they all love sweets so ur tasked with drawing them in whichever capacity u like (personally i love chewing nuts but. google doesnt agree with that as a search term apparently......)

Day 3 - Girls

lets be honest. wren and marilyn are the biggest backbone holdin that group together so show em some love! 

Day 4 - Family

do they have families? or are they each others families? maybe its just a dog. whatever u reckon is what we wanna see. (did u know shackwell is louis’ dad. mental.)

Day 5 - Work

they’re kids but they work hard as balls! do u ever wonder just what they get up to behind the scenes to keep the market running? ill bet its super mundane. 

Day 6 - The Spectre

its where we got to see them the most! the events during the spectre, what they got up to before the spectre, maybe just lying in bed bein scared as shit! i mean did u know marilyns house got destroyed by that thing? :(( rip house

Day 7 - Favourite

who is ur favourite member??? i wanna know! i wanna knowww!! 

Day 8 - have fun :) love mabs