#if you didn't live halfway around the world i would come over and give you the biggest and warmest hug

[gentlebeard]

If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again

For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube

[wileys-russo]

Mary Earps blurb where you sneak into the Lionesses hotel in Australia and surprise her? The girls all know but she doesn’t

surprise visitor II m.earps

"do you know how much trouble i could be in if someone finds out about this?" millie chuckled as she handed you a lionesses tracksuit to change into, the two of you huddled in a back alleyway behind their base camp hotel in terrigal, australia.

"mills it was your idea!" you tutted quietly with a laugh, the blonde turning away as you glanced around to make sure no one was watching and began to change. "yeah well mary's been nothing short of miserable for days now and its getting on everyones last nerve." millie groaned.

you having been uncontactable to your girlfriend for a couple of days now claiming you'd gone away on a camping trip with your students and had minimal reception, had meant mary was seemingly lost without any sort of interaction with or from you.

the reality was you'd spent the last couple of days inbetween flights on your way to australia, jetlag kicking you something terrible but motivated only by knowing each minute that ticked by meant you were closer to seeing your favourite smile once more.

you'd originally been unable to accompany mary's family overseas for the world cup due to work commitments, but your boss seeing how miserable you'd been had taken pity and allowed you to take time off for the last two weeks of the tournament granted you still did some marking on behalf of the substitute who would take your place remotely whilst over there.

so you'd spun this elaborate story of taking a group of your students camping, where you'd have practically no reception and would barely be able to speak to her in order to hide the fact you were making your way halfway round the world.

you were lucky the woman was so gullible.

"acting like you haven't missed me too mills, that's cute." you grinned, tapping her to let her know you were changed as the blonde turned and rolled her eyes, messing up your hair before tugging the hood over your head.

having been with mary for a few years now you were well known to all of her team mates for club and country, all of them seeing how disgustingly in love mary was with you and how well suited you were as a pair meant you were cared deeply for by most of them as well.

"come on, game face time." millie and you exchanged a nod, having already gone over the plan with her and rach a hundred times when millie had found out you were flying over to surprise mary and proposed she help you out.

so here you were about to be snuck into base camp which was very much so against the rules, to spend the night with mary before you'd go to your own hotel tomorrow where her family were expecting you, thinking your flight was landing...tomorrow.

the only people who knew you were actually already in australia right now, technically a whole day early, were millie and rachel.

"head down, don't look up till i say so." millie murmered, having dressed you in rach's tracksuit and praying no one would stop the two of you she slung an arm over your shoulder and guided you through the hotel.

you'd left your luggage with rachel who had already hid it in her room till you'd be leaving again tomorrow, the girl instructed to wait it out there until millie gave her the all clear.

you did your very best not to trip over your feet as the taller girl dragged you through room after room until finally you stepped into the elevator and breathed a sigh of relief, grinning up at millie who wiped at her forehead before giving you a wink.

though your relief was short lived as the elevator stopped at a floor you didn't click, millie flicking your hood over your head again as you turned to face the wall and looked down at your feet again.

your heart raced as you heard none other than alessia and ella get into the elevator, chatting away to themselves about plans for a movie night in maya's room.

"hi mills, hi rach!" ella beamed, millie smiling politely in response as you stayed quiet, eyes wide as they bore into the floor and you prayed the elevator would go faster. "ya alright rach?" ella asked with a frown and you noticed her shoes appear in your sights as she shuffled closer.

"tickle in her throat, isn't feeling well so she's headed off to bed early." millie quickly excused, stepping in front of you slightly. "hey aren't your rooms on level six?" alessia asked confused, noticing millie had clicked the eighth floor.

"hang on..." ella took another step forward and before you could even blink she'd yanked your hood down, her and alessia gasping and throwing themselves at you as millie sighed in defeat, dragging her hands down her face.

"okay yes hello hello!" you were wrapped up into a bear hug by the younger girls who chatted your ear off, not even letting you get a word in as they asked a hundred questions. "girls!" millie interrupted, both falling silent as they placed you back down on your feet.

"listen. you never saw us, you never saw her, and not a word of this to a single soul ever. right?" millie warned sternly as both younger girls nodded wordlessly, giving you one more hug before stepping off on the fifth floor and heading away toward maya's room.

"don't worry about them, i'll handle it. go get your girl!" millie grinned once she'd walked you to mary's room, knocking on the door and legging it away in the opposite direction after you'd thanked her profusely.

when your girlfriend didn't answer though, you knocked again, and again, and again.

"for fuck sakes this better be a bloody emergen-" the door flew open and mary's angry glare dropped the moment she saw you, jaw almost hitting the floor as her eyes remained wide as saucers and you grinned.

"hi baby. you gonna let me in or am i gonna just stand here in the cold?" you asked as mary stuttered, shaking her head a few times before launching at you, picking you up and dragging you inside as she kicked the door closed behind her.

"you're really here???" mary asked still in shock as you wrapped your legs around her waist and she looked at you incredulously. "surprise." you grinned, hands resting on the back of her neck and playing with the hairs which had fallen out of her messy bun.

"oh my god." mary exhaled, pulling you as tightly into her body as she could in a bone crushing hug, inhaling deeply at the familiar smell of your shampoo. "but i thought...camping?" mary frowned in confusion as she placed you on your feet, arms remaining wrapped tightly around you.

"for such a smart woman you are very gullible darling." you grinned teasingly, the taller girl shaking her head. "but how did you even..." mary trailed off, cogs clearly turning in her head as you let out a laugh.

"rach and mills snuck me in, i have to go to my own hotel tomorrow but for tonight i'm all yours. your family think i don't land till tomorrow." you admitted biting down on your lip sheepishly. "god i love you." mary breathed out, wasting no more time as she dipped her head and pressed her lips to yours.

"i love you more and i can't wait to watch you achieve everything you deserve and more." you whispered, pressing your forehead against hers as the two of you stood together in silence for a moment, just taking in one another's presence. "its about time the world saw you how i do, you're the most fiercely amazing woman i know baby." you promised as you pecked her lips sweetly a few times.

"oh love." you laughed quietly as her eyes welled up with tears, wiping them away with the pad of your thumb. "such a sap." you teased as mary wiped her face with her sleeve. "shut up!" the girl rolled her eyes, burying her face in your hair and exhaling deeply as you snuck your hands up her top and scratched lightly at her back.

"my most special, wonderful and favourite girl, always." mary mumbled before pulling away slightly and once again smashing her lips to yours, your tongues swirling against one another as the kiss became a little less sweet.

"i missed you so much love." the keeper breathed out inbetween kisses, still looking at you as if you were a mirage that could disappear at her fingertips any given second as she backed you into the wall, pressing her body against yours.

"i know, heard you've been miserably insufferable without me." you mumbled teasingly against her lips, arms looping around her neck as her hands gripped your hips so tightly you'd not be surprised if they were bruised tomorrow.

but you didn't care, when you were with her you were home.

"mary!" you laughed as she suddenly picked you up, tossing you easily over her shoulder as you smacked her bum and she gently dropped you onto her bed, wasting no time crawling on top of you with a grin.

"now...what was that about having you all to myself for tonight beautiful?"

[mrs-kodzuken]

K.K.T.K on my wrist ♡

Pairing: Kōtarō Bokuto x Keiji Akaashi x fem!reader x Tetsurō Kuroo x Kenma Kozume

WC: 1.9k

Genre: soulmate au, fluff, slice of life

CW: fem!reader, four soulmates, poly relationship, fluff, very soft and sweet

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

When I was a little girl, I thought about how a prince would show up outside my bedroom window. He'd take me away to his castle and marry me, treating me with kindness.

Then we'd live happily ever after, just like in the movies.

However, the hardships that came with being a princess made me think that I could handle them. As it turns out, that's not how life is at all.

Not at all.

Plenty of hardships are thrown at you left and right. and it's all about how well you deal with it.

As I got older, my fantasies became more realistic. I wanted to live a small, easy life with the person I so dearly loved.

A small child or kitten running around, giving us entertainment.

Living out our lives to the fullest and being content with simplicity. We didn't need anything more or anything less.

That's how I've always imagined it.

As it turns out, life does throw things at you, but this one was one of the best hardships I'll ever came to love.

And it all begins at the young age of sixteen. A fresh high school student, worried about what people thought about them.

Their hair, clothes, grades, and sometimes even a boyfriend or girlfriend.

However, most of those thoughts got quickly brushed away. On a person's sixteenth birthday, initials will appear on their dominant wrist.

The absolute heart racing feeling full of wonder of who your special significance other could be.

Maybe it was someone who lives halfway across the world. Maybe someone who goes to the same school as you. Maybe someone you grew up with.

Or maybe someone you just happen to know from the internet.

Whatever it may be, they will be bound to meet. Some people say it's fate. Some say even destiny.

However, I just thought it was a clear misconception for me.

I had my dreams significantly crushed by four initials on my wrist. Oh, how I used to despise them—the hate that fueled through me when I looked at my wrist.

Looking back, it was harsh and childish. Life is unexpected; things happen. However, this one was one that's stuck in my favorites, even if it was the opposite of everything I always wanted.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

The bedroom window was open a bit as the rain fell from the sky. Small devices lit up here and there around the room.

It was an easy night for all of us. Even Kōtarō was quiet, which sparked an interest in me. I was keeping myself busy by reading a book I had been wanting to catch up on.

While also laying on Keiji, who had been next to me reading some other kind of book.

Our beloved Kenma was in the next room over, streaming. The door was slightly ajar, leaving space for the blue rays of light to show on the wall.

I could hear small splashes of water coming from the bathroom. A small, unnoticeable smile gracing my strawberry-colored lips.

No matter how many times I knew water calmed that beautiful boy down, I couldn't get over it.

I had run the bath myself, even adding a few bathroom toys and bubbles, despite it being the late hours of the night. And despite that he was a grown man, we don't in this house.

If I had listened hard enough, I could hear Tetsu downstairs. The soft noise of most likely midnight snacks being made.

It seemed as if we were all content in the house we called home. A shiver ran down my back as I felt the soft breeze come from the window.

The skies were pitch black; if it were a normal night, I'd be on the roof with Tetsu and Keiji. We'd point out the constellations and watch the stars.

It was one of my favorite things to do with them.

If it were later in the afternoon and the sun was slightly straying from the clouds and the rain was soft, Kōtarō would be dancing in the rain with me.

We'd sing our hearts out, then get scolded by our lovely boyfriend, Keiji, who quite possibly seemed like the only sane one in the house.

Besides Kenma half of the time.

The days that it was sunny, and I wished silently that it would rain. Kenma would softly take my hand and lead me to the kitchen.

Even though we both shared the hatred of sunny days, we'd bake something.

Whether it be healthy or not, burnt or just right, muffins or cupcakes. So, our house constantly smells like a bakery. When we wouldn't feel up to baking, a movie was our next best thing.

On hard days when I felt like I really needed something to just get my mind off for a little while, Kuroo was my go-to person.

We'd run to the park and back, putting the stress into exercising. Sometimes, just sitting down with him on a park bench and watching everyone pass by was enough.

However, Keiji was by far the one who comforted me in a strange but loving way. He's the only one I'd talk to. I'd spill all my thoughts to, read a book with, cry to, and observe with.

Being very compatible with each and every one of them made life exciting and, oddly, calming.

"Are you cold? We can shut the window if you'd like." Keiji turned his head toward me, pausing his reading.

"I'll put on a hoodie," I said, shaking my head and loving the smell of rain. However, he knew that that would be my answer.

I'd always wrap up in multiple clothing layers instead of shutting the window.

It was a habit.

I crawled away from him as I watched Keiji place my bookmark in the place I was reading.

Slipping on my pink slippers, I walked out of the room, heading towards the clothing room.

Who knew that living with four other people would bless you with an enormously large house? However, the income we all made could quite possibly also be a reason.

As I walked past Kenma's gaming room, I peered in. My eyes were watching him a bit, I could tell even from when he was turned around that his eyes were glued to the screen.

Knowing Kenma, I knew he wasn't wearing his glasses that protected his eyes. He needed them now more than ever, since it's the late hours of the night.

Backing out, I quickly but quietly moved downstairs. His glasses were on the living room coffee table, if I remembered correctly.

When I was on the first floor, I moved to the living room, where his glasses were. Picking them up, I felt the coldness from how long they've been left alone.

The kitchen light on, curiosity peering through me. I peeked in at the sight of Tetsu sitting on the counter, scrolling on his phone.

He was most likely trying to figure out what we'd be feeling up for to eat after rummaging through our cabinets. God, he could be doing nothing and still look so handsome.

I smiled a little and headed back upstairs. Opening Kenma's door more, I could hear soft grunting from him.

Probably because of a level he was having trouble with.

Setting the glasses close to his keyboard, I leaned down and gave him a soft kiss on the temple. He nodded, his cheekbones glowing with a rouge pink shade.

That small peck meant, 'Please don't forget to wear them.' I could always express myself with small things without actually saying them to Kenma and Keiji.

Usually, I'd have to express my thoughts in a verbal way when it came down to Kō and Tetsu. However, I knew not everyone would be an introvert or just a mind reader.

When I left the room, leaving it cracked like before, I saw his game pause and him slip on the clear glasses.

I made my way back to the room, forgetting about the hoodie I needed to get. When I entered, I saw Kōtarō curled up against Keiji.

His hair was slightly dripping wet, making me cringe a bit.

I spotted his towel, which he had brought back with him instead of hanging up in the bathroom. I softly grabbed it and made my way to him.

He perked up; his yellow eyes seemed to shine a bit brighter in the dark.

"The water will make the bed wet, hon" I softly said, lightly ruffling his hair with the towel.

His arms wrapped around my waist as I continued to get the water out. Wetness and comfortable covers do not mix in my book or even on my book.

I could hear him sigh happily as I played with his hair, trying to get out all the water.

Glancing over to Keiji, his glasses were off, and our books had been set elsewhere. It's movie time.

Kenma would come from his gaming in around fifteen to twenty minutes from now. We'd all cuddle on the bed and watch a cartoon movie.

I walked to the bathroom, setting Kōtarō's towel on his hook. In a house of five people, organization was the best key.

After I cut the lights off, I walked back to see a movie picked up and Kuroo coming upstairs with our midnight snacks.

When I made sure everyone was comfortable in bed, I went to get Kenma. I could basically feel the exhaustion radiating off him. Knowing that he wouldn't get off the game unless someone actually got him.

As I got closer, I gently put my arms around his back. I did it every single time I wanted him to get off the game. I could tell he was fighting himself, wanting to go another round but agreeing.

Soon his system was off and his left hand locked in my right one, walking into our bedroom. We climbed into bed; the rotation was different this weekend.

Each day or week, we'd switch the rotation of who gets to spoon who. It wasn't my idea since I couldn't care less if I was spooning or getting spooned.

However, being the only girl it was kinda nice with everyone being bigger than me, it was kind of hot some nights too.

This time around, Tetsu was spooning me, and I happened to be spooning Kōtarō. After we finished the snacks, I couldn't resist the sleep, which called my name.

Since there were five of us, we couldn't possibly fit in a bed. So we decided to just get one of the biggest; even if we did spoon, I'm sure at least one of us would end up kicking another off the bed.

This has always been how our stay-up nights have been and I wouldn't change it for the world.

When I was a little girl, I thought about how a prince would show up outside my bedroom window. He'd take me away to his castle and marry me.

Well, now that I'm older, it's safe to say that I've got four princes who I was fated with. They agreed to live together with me, and the need to marry wasn't in our minds.

We all knew the reassurance of each other never leaving the other. But if one of us did happen to want to marry? I guess we could.

But this is the end of our weekend night and there was nothing out there that would make me give it up.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

a/n: this is from my book “Haikyuu x Reader One Shots” on Wattpad. I hope you enjoyed and let me know if you have any requests!

the header is made by me, please like/reblog if used <3

[messedupfan]

Chapter 17

Summary: Wanda looks over her plans for her future after standing up to Vision. You discover something shocking about your friend on a night out. And the kids join you for a special haircut as Wanda collects her prize.

A/n: Hello! I didn't plan on posting this so soon but eh what the hell. Hope y'all don't kill me. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

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Wanda stands in the middle of the large empty property that she now owns. She walks around the area as she visualizes a house. She sees the walls and the windows. She thinks about where the kitchen would be and the kitchen table for breakfasts and intimate family meals. Then she walks into a dining room where she’ll host holidays and birthdays. She pretends to climb a beautiful staircase as she envisions the separate rooms for her boys. A couple more rooms, maybe one of them is a guest room and the other is an office space. Then she sees a master bedroom. The image of climbing into bed after a long day has her heart racing as she pictures collapsing into your arms. 

Her phone ringing breaks her away from her fantasy world and back to the land with overgrown grass. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and sighs. “Hello Vision,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “What can I help you with?”

“Mom?” Tommy's voice has Wanda softening her tone almost instantly. 

“Tommy, hi, why are you calling me with your dad's phone? Is everything okay?” She asks as she starts to fill with worry. 

“Dad says he has to go out of town for something… for work! I mean um… I mean he has to go out of town for work. Can you come pick us up?” Wanda sighs when she can hear Vision correcting their son. She doesn't understand the man. He is constantly making a big racket about being in Tommy and Billy’s life but this is the third time in the last couple of months that he has had her pick up the boys halfway through the week. 

“I'll be there soon,” Wanda says in a soft tone. She does her best to not let her frustrations with his father affect her tone. Vision is being harsh enough as it is. “I love you, sweetheart. Let your brother know that I love him too, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Tommy says. “Bye, mom.”

Wanda hangs up the phone. She takes one last glance around the empty land and sighs. One day, she will be able to fulfill her dream. But that is years away. 

“Vision, you can't keep doing this to them,” she says quietly once the boys are in her car. 

“It's my work, Wanda. It's what pays the bills,” he says with a roll of his eyes. 

“Oh I'm very familiar with your work,” Wanda retorts. “Who is she this time? Another TA? No, that pairing has to bore you by now. Besides, you don't need a dating profile in order to date a student.” 

“You've been stalking me?” He asks, he's more intrigued than anything. 

Wanda makes a face, “Gross. No. That would mean I gave a shit about your personal life. I have friends that use dating apps. And you weren't exactly discrete about it on your profile.” 

Vision’s face starts to get red and Wanda knows that she has struck a nerve. Not only did she reveal that she knows he isn't being faithful in his current marriage, she revealed how she found out. She is almost certain that the mention of her friends being involved has painted a mental picture of her having a laugh about him with them. She’d put good money on Vision picturing you as the friend, causing him to grow even more upset. 

“Vis, I don't care what you do in your free time. I care that it affects my kids,” she states firmly. “Either end the affair or give me full custody. Because I will not allow you to keep hurting them with this deadbeat father act you have going on.” She starts to walk towards her car expecting him to slam the door shut but instead, he follows her. 

“Oh you'd love to have me out of the picture, wouldn't you? So that you can live happily ever after with, Y/n! That's it, isn't it?” He shouts behind her. Wanda stops and spins as she lets out a malicious laugh.

“What is with your obsession with Y/n? They have been nothing but kind to our boys when you fail them time and time again. They are always there for the twins when you've abandoned our boys. Y/n has covered for your ass over and over,” she takes steps towards Vision as she defends her friend to him. “They do nothing but try to make you look better to those boys. You should be thanking them instead of threatening them! You have no idea the kind of person they are. And it's not their fault that you are such a sorry excuse for a father. Gosh, your own family finds it difficult to be related to you.” 

Vision shakes his head, “You are a vindictive cunt.” 

“Call me all of the names you want. You can't hurt me anymore,” Wanda glares at her former husband defiantly. She scoffs. “You're a pitiful man. I hope karma gets you one day.” She walks away and doesn't turn back once as he continues to shout profanities at her. She does, however, raise her middle finger at him. 

“Mom, are you okay?” Billy asks from the backseat once Wanda has joined her boys in the car. She turns back and reaches out to hold his hand. She smiles at him and squeezes his hand. 

“Mommy is more than okay,” she says confidently. She doesn't recognize herself at this moment and it's a fantastic feeling. “Are you boys ready to go? You didn't leave behind any important homework or school books right?” 

“Right,” the boys say at the same time. 

“Okay, let's go home then,” she smiles at each of her kids before starting her car and driving away from Vision’s house. When she pulls into the driveway of her current home she can feel the ghost of the person she used to be. The woman that once believed living a life on eggshells was normal. That she was always meant to be careful around her husband. That her children were to be completely obedient and quiet. That woman and that life haunt every corner of the house. They start to hide when the boys laugh loudly at something that happens in the movie they’re watching. But when you stop by to return the tupperware, the ghosts seem to disappear instantly. As if they were never there.

“You know, Y/n,” Wanda starts as she closes the door behind you. “We are friends, you don't need an excuse to see me.”

“Okay, you caught me but we never really got a chance to ourselves last week and I thought since,” you are cut off when the boys come running towards you and wrap their arms around you as they crash into your body. “Oh! Hi guys! What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be with your dad this week?” You keep your tone light, you would hate to ever make them feel unwanted. You hug them back just as tight. 

“Dad had a work thing,” Billy answers with a smile. “What are you doing here? Rachel isn't here.” 

You look at Wanda, not sure how to answer. “That’s right, Rachel is not here. But Y/n had my container and I asked them to bring it back,” Wanda answers for you. “Come on boys, I'm sure Y/n has to get back home and you two need to get ready for bed.” 

“Can you stay and read us a bedtime story?” Tommy asks with wide eyes filled with excitement as he steps back.

“Yeah? Can you?” Billy asks as he jumps back, just as excited. 

You hesitate and that causes the two kids to start begging. “Please? You and mom tell the stories really well together!” You look at Wanda as you reminisce about the couple of times the two of you read bedtime stories for the three kids when you and Rachel were staying here. 

“I thought you said bedtime stories were for babies?” Wanda says as she messes with her son's hair. 

“They are but not when you and Y/n tell them,” Tommy defends. Wanda gives you a look that says ‘I tried,’ and it makes you laugh. 

“Okay boys, go finish getting ready for bed and I'll join your mom for story time,” you agree and the kids cheer as they run up the stairs. 

“Thank you for that. You know, you don't have to stay,” Wanda says as she tests the waters and puts her hand on your bicep. You shrug as your arm warms up from her touch. 

“They think we're good together,” you say with slight innuendo. “Besides, it won't be long before they despise my presence. I'm sure their dad will poison them against me as soon as puberty hits. I have to enjoy their praises while I still can.” You smile at her as you maintain eye contact and stand a little closer to her. 

Wanda bites her lower lip as her eyes travel to your lips. It's been a week and a half since the two of you kissed. You had been by every day since but neither of you have had a moment alone long enough to discuss anything. She had so much that she wanted to tell you that she couldn't. Not when the kids are so close. She would hate it if the kids got excited about something that may or may not happen. “I wish their father thought about the fact that we only have a few precious years left with them before they become moody teenagers. But,” Wanda shrugs. “I guess that's my fault for falling for a selfish man before my frontal lobe developed.” Wanda’s eyes meet yours again as she flashes you a sad smile. 

You reach out and hold her shoulder. You open your mouth to say something but you're interrupted by a loud screech of, “We're ready!” from Tommy and Billy. You laugh. 

“I guess that's our cue,” you say as you drop your hand from her shoulder. 

“You go first, I have to put this away,” she holds up the tupperware and you nod then you climb the stairs and warn the boys that you are on your way. Wanda takes a deep breath as her body craves your touch. It was an innocent touch but it made her mind wander to not so innocent thoughts and she needed a second. She serves herself a cold glass of water and chugs half of it. 

“Mom! Mom! Mom!” She hears you chanting with the boys and hearing you call her that almost makes her spit out her water from laughter. 

“Okay! I'm coming!” She shouts as she gets to the bottom of the staircase. The chants don't stop until she walks through the door. You and the boys clap and cheer as she comes in. Wanda stops for a moment and poses. You start whistling as the boys cheer louder. “Alright, settle down. Settle down. What story are we reading tonight?” 

The boys fall asleep halfway through the story. You were so engrossed in the storytelling that Wanda had to stop you in order for you to notice that they had fallen asleep. You shut the book and the two of you carefully snuck out of the room. You waited for her in the hallway as she shut off the lights and closed the door. 

When the door was shut she turned to face you. The two of you stand there, both wanting to embrace each other. Maybe even share another sober kiss that would intoxicate each of you. Wanda wants to thank you for helping her find her strength. You want to thank her for always being there for you and your daughter. You want to tell her the deep feelings you've developed for her over the months. You want to hold her in your arms and never let go. 

“Can I show you something before you go?” Wanda whispers. 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” you answer, feeling a little awkward. You clear your throat and gesture for her to lead the way. Wanda takes your hand and laces her finger through yours as she guides you to her office. You were a little surprised that she led you here but you were more surprised with yourself that part of you anticipated her taking you to any other room. Especially with her kids here. 

Wanda lets go of you and walks around her desk to shuffle through her files in the drawer. When she finds what she's looking for she looks up at you with a grin. “Close the door and come closer. It's a secret,” she says with a playfulness to her voice. You smile and shut the door to her office before joining her side. “So I have a plot of land,” she starts as she opens the folder. “And I want to build my dream house on it. These are some of the ideas that I have so far.” She shows you printed-out mood boards and detailed sketches along with images and measurements of the land. 

“Wow, I think this is great,” you say as you flip through the pages. You look at her with a curious glance. “What inspired this?” 

Wanda shrugs, “I'm tired of living under someone else's guidelines of what my house is supposed to have or not have. I'm a very overqualified architect, I know what I can and cannot do.” Her confidence makes you smile. “Besides, this is Vision-free land. He's never owned it. He's never lived on it. He's never traumatized me or the kids here. It's a land that is free to have an unlimited amount of good memories and none of them have to be tarnished by him.” Her grin widens and her shoulders relax at the thought. 

“That's wonderful,” you tell her softly. “So, why are you sharing this with me?” 

A blush appears on Wanda's cheeks and your heart picks up speed in anticipation for her answer. “I um, I could use your expertise in building it. Not anytime soon. I still have to get the money to fund the project but, there isn't anyone I'd rather have build it for me than you,” she smiles up at you. 

You lick your lips as you consider kissing her. But you think better of it. Billy or Tommy could walk in at any moment and catch the two of you. It's enough to make you stand up straighter instead of hovering close to her. “I'd be honored to build your dream house for you, Wanda.” 

Wanda rises from her chair and pulls you in for a warm embrace. “Thank you,” she says against your chest. 

“Of course,” you respond quietly as you wrap your arms around her. You close your eyes as you embrace the moment. “I should get going. It's pretty late,” you state without letting her go. Wanda hums in agreement as she also makes no motion to break away. 

Eventually, the two of you do break away and she offers to walk you to your car. You feel giddy as you remember the night of the kiss. Wanda’s mind is thinking about the same thing as she walks with you arm in arm. 

“I don't know if this is weird to mention but we did make a bet on it so I feel as though I kind of have to tell you about this,” you ramble nervously as the two of you get close to the car. “Uh, you win the bet. That volunteer texted me the other day.” Wanda's smile drops and her demeanor shifts a little. 

“Oh? And what did she have to say?” Wanda asks as she starts to feel her positive energy waiver. 

“Nothing worth mentioning,” you say in an attempt to let her know that you're not interested in Nebula as you reach your truck. “Anyway, I'm thinking about getting my haircut on Sunday after I pick up Rachel. Should I give you a call?” You lean against the door as you watch Wanda. She gives you a tight smile and you know that whatever you thought might happen isn't going to. 

“Yeah, I um, I think I have a few ideas ready. Just let me know where to be on Sunday,” she doesn't look at you as she speaks and you want to slap yourself for even mentioning another woman. 

“Okay, I'll make the appointment and text you the details,” you fiddle with your keys awkwardly. “I'll see you on Sunday,” you say as you climb into your truck. Disappointed in yourself. This was not at all how this was supposed to go. It was starting to feel like there are forces out there trying to keep the two of you apart. 

On Friday night, you stare at the message from Nebula as you consider responding while you sit at a booth with Darcy. It's becoming a common occurrence, hanging out with Darcy, Steve, and Bucky. Your coworker is typically the one inviting everyone out. You're surprised that he doesn't invite his girlfriend. In fact, you don't think you've seen Natasha since Wanda's New Years Eve party. And Steve hasn’t talked about Peggy in some time either. But you don't think about it too much. 

“I know that face,” Darcy says as she steals a couple of fries from your plate. 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” you put your phone in your pocket. 

“You have many faces, Y/n. That face is one of regret and frustration,” Darcy continues to steal your fries. You shake your head and look around the bar to avoid looking at your friend. “Come on, lay it on me. Is Wanda seeing someone finally? Did your former child-bride reach out to you?” 

“Daisy wasn't that much younger than me,” you defend as you take a sip from the beer bottle. “Besides, you never got to meet her. You don't get to judge.”

Darcy leans in closer with wide eyes, “She dumped you when your kid was in the hospital! What more do I need to know about her?” You shake your head. Then your eyes widen as they land on Steve and Bucky kissing. Your eyebrows knit together from the shock. “What?” Darcy spins around to search for what you could be seeing. Then she sees them. “Oh, yeah. That,” she turns back to you with a shrug. “I've known about that. Now back to you.” Darcy snaps her fingers in your face and waves until you look back to her. “Hello? What's going on with you?”

“What do you mean you knew about them?” You ask instead. “They both have girlfriends! They're cheaters! I didn't know I was friends with cheaters!”

Darcy sighs and rolls her eyes. “Calm down. The way I understand it, Steve and Peggy broke up sometime after that party at Wanda’s place. And Bucky and Natasha have an understanding. I don't know if it's an open relationship situation or a throuple or what. I don't ask them questions because I don't care. What I do care about is you. So, what's wrong?” 

You shake your head before running your fingers through your hair and sigh. “I fucked up,” you go on to explain the bet you made with Wanda about Nebula. “Then we kissed and before I could get a chance to talk to her about the kiss, I mentioned that she won the bet and she completely pulled away. I haven't been able to get a hold of her since. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just, she likes to win. I thought she'd like to know that she won and she gets to choose my next haircut.” You shrug then shake your head and then rub your face. 

Darcy reaches across the table and holds your wrist as a way to provide some sort of comfort. The two of you sit in silence for a moment. Darcy hasn't gotten to know Wanda enough to be able to explain her behavior. But she's known you for some time now and she knows that sometimes all you need is support. No encouraging words. No solutions to your problems. Just someone's presence. 

Steve and Bucky rejoin the two of you. Steve sits next to you and Bucky sits across the table next to Darcy. “What’d we miss?” Steve asks as he throws his arm around your shoulders. You shrug in response. 

“I'm an idiot,” you mutter. 

“Oh come on, I asked what I missed. Not what I already know,” he teases and with her free hand, Darcy throws some fries at him. “Ow, hey!” She snaps her fingers and points to you and you start to feel a little ridiculous. “Oh, I'm sorry Y/n,” he says once he is paying attention. You shake your head and stand up muttering something about leaving. “Hey, no, come on. It was a bad joke. Stay, Y/n,” he tries to call you back to the table. 

“You're so full of yourself, Steve!” Darcy says before she catches up with you. “Hey, lets-” 

“No, it’s fine. I'm fine. It wasn’t about Steve. He's always like that. I’m just…” you shake your head. “I need to go home.” You tell her calmly. “I won't do anything stupid, I promise.”

Darcy sighs then nods, “Yeah, okay. I'll see you soon. Oh! That reminds me, I will be moving to Germany to join a research team for a year. I leave in three months.” 

“Oh my goodness! Way to bury the lead!” You pull her into a quick hug. “Congratulations! That sounds like an amazing opportunity!” You pull away and admire her for a second. “You are possibly the coolest person I know.” 

Darcy closes her eyes, tilts her head, and smiles. “I know I am,” she says happily. She opens her eyes and pats your arm. “Get out of here. And tell Wanda I said hi.” 

You make a face, “Why would I tell Wanda-” 

“Oh please, you think I actually believe that you're going to your apartment? She is your home. And I better be receiving an invitation to the wedding by the time I come home from Germany.” 

You shake your head as you give her a final hug goodbye. You get in your car and consider driving to Wanda’s house. Her boys are with her so you try to not think about it. But as you're driving, you suddenly realize that you're close to her neighborhood. You sigh as you think about what Darcy said. Wanda is your home. You take the turn into her neighborhood and start to think about what you're going to tell her when you see her. 

As you pull up, you notice the time and frown as you see that the house is dark. You put the car in park and stare at her house. It was pretty late. You shouldn't have expected that she would be awake just because it was a Friday night. You don't even let Rachel stay up past eleven at night. But you know that sometimes Wanda likes to enjoy a glass of wine and catch up on her favorite reality show before going to bed. 

So you take your chances and call her. The phone rings a couple of times before you finally hear her voice. “Hey you,” she is speaking softly. You wonder if her boys are near her. Awake or asleep, there's a reason she is so quiet. 

“Hey, did I wake you?” You ask as you start to regret being here. 

“No, no,” Wanda says, her voice still low. “I’m catching up on my show. But um Billy had a nightmare. He’s sleeping next to me and I'm trying to not wake him.” Your eyes travel up to her window as you see the faint glow of the television through the blinds. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” 

You don’t respond right away. You just think about her. “No, I'm okay. I just,” you sigh. “I never responded to that volunteer. I want you to know that. I’m sorry if I-” 

“Y/n I don’t think now is a good time,” she interrupts. 

“I’m parked in the driveway. If you don't want Billy to hear,” you tell her quickly. You watch the shadows of the curtains move and the blinds open after a couple of minutes. Her silhouette stands in the middle of the window. “I think we have a lot to talk about.” 

Wanda is quiet as she stands still. You hope that she accepts your invitation. “Go home, Y/n. It's late and,” she trails off as she closes the blinds. “We don't have anything to talk about.” Your heart breaks at her words. 

“Wanda please,” you beg, “let's talk about this. Maybe not tonight but soon.” 

“Y/n, I,” her words seem to fail her as she goes quiet. You sit in your truck patiently waiting for her to continue. To say something. Anything. After a while you wonder if she hung up so you lift the phone off of your face and are slightly relieved to see that the call is still going. Then you watch the call end. Your eyes travel to the front door as it opens. 

Wanda walks out and you step out of the truck to meet her halfway but she holds her hands up to stop you. You stay close to the truck. “Wanda, can you explain to me what I did wrong? Because I don't feel like I-” 

Wanda waves her hand to cut you off, “Stop, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I'm… I wanted our friendship… I want us to…” she closes her eyes and shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I practiced this speech to myself since Wednesday but,” she sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. “When we kissed, I did want us to explore the possibility of more between us. Hell, I deleted all of the dating apps I was on and blocked every person I hooked up with that night. I thought I was ready. But I'm not. And it's not because of you. You are great. You're great to me, you're great to my kids, to my entire family actually.” She opens her eyes and you can see the tears building up. “I'm in a better place than I was when we first met but I’m not ready for anything more than your friendship. At least not right now.” 

You cast your eyes down to the ground for a moment to allow your heart to break. You bite your lips to keep from letting the emotions show on your face. Then, when you feel ready, you swallow your feelings and you nod. “Okay, yeah,” you look at her as you try to hide your sadness. “I can do that. I can be your friend. It’s okay, I understand that you still have a lot of healing or whatever to work through. It's okay, Wanda. I lo-” 

“Don't,” Wanda cuts you off and you nod with your mouth shut. “I know that you care about me. A lot. I care about you too. A lot. But I… I don't expect you to wait for me to be ready. No. Let me rephrase,” she steps closer and holds your hands. “Don't wait for me. Don’t put your life on hold for me.” 

You want to argue and fight for her but if this is what she wants then there isn't much else that you can do. You look her in the eye and ask, “Are you sure this is what you want?” Wanda nods. “Okay. I won't um I won't wait and I won't bring this up again. Not until you do. I understand.” 

“Thank you,” she says softly. 

“Will I still see you on Sunday?” You ask as you think about the bet again. “You still have a prize to collect,” you remind her playfully. 

“Yeah, I'll be there,” she flashes you a small smile that drops as fast as it appears. You drop her hand and shove your hand into your pockets. 

“Darcy wanted me to tell you that she said hi. I was hanging out with her before this,” you tell her. 

“That's nice, how is she doing?” Wanda crosses her arms over her chest to keep her body warm as a cool breeze comes by. 

“She's good, she'll be gone for a year. She got a big opportunity in Germany. But she's got three more months of being stuck here,” you inform her conversationally. Trying to move past the emotionally heightened moment. 

“Wow, that sounds fascinating. I'll have to reach out to her. I liked meeting her,” Wanda says. 

“I'm sure she'd love that,” you nod then you look at your watch. “I'll let you go back inside. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-”

“No, I'm glad you did. I'll see you on Sunday,” Wanda kisses your cheek before she walks away. “Goodnight, drive safe,” she shouts over her shoulder as she continues walking to her front door. You climb back into your car and drive to your apartment. 

You allow yourself to cry and feel the heartbreak. You don't drink alcohol to forget it or make it easier. You don't smoke from the pack of cigarettes that you purchased on the way home. You just lie on your bed and clutch a pillow to your chest. 

On Sunday you pick up Rachel from her mom's house and tell her that you lost a bet to Wanda and that she is going to pick out your new haircut. Rachel giggles with excitement. 

“A mullet? Really?” You look at Wanda like she is crazy. “Are you trying to sabotage my dating life?” 

Wanda laughs with a shrug, “It's not my fault your hair is long enough for it. Besides, I hear it's a very popular style for the They/Thems of the world.” You shake your head as she plays with your hair. The hairdresser laughs at the request as well before promising that the style is coming back. You tell him to just get it over with. 

In the end, you don't completely hate it but you still don't feel like it's your style. However, Wanda's boys love it. “Mom, I want my hair like Y/n's! Mom, can we get our haircut too?” 

“Oh, I'm sure that the schedule is busy and we didn't make an appointment for you two,” Wanda tried to tell them.

“Oh we have a couple hours free, I don't mind giving them a cut. The kids want to match their parent,” Clint says. 

“Oh I'm not,” you stutter. 

“We’re just friends,” Wanda corrects. 

Clint nods as he eyes the two of you with a knowing smirk. “So am I cutting the kids' hair or not?” he asks a little loud, drawing the attention of the boys. The twins begin to beg over and over until Wanda caves. They cheer as they each hop into a chair. Clint disappears into the back to collect his wife to cut Billy's hair while he works on Tommy. 

You sit next to your daughter and Wanda sits on the other side of her. “What about you? Do you want to get a haircut?” Wanda asks. 

Rachel shakes her head with a scrunched-up face. “No, I'm okay.” 

“Her hair doesn't grow back fast. It took a while for it to get this long,” you explain. “That's her mom's genetics,” you say lightly as you mess with Rachel's hair. She swats her hand away and goes back to playing games on your phone. 

When the boys are done with their haircuts the group of you decide to grab some ice cream together and enjoy the treats at a nearby park. 

Wanda is messing with your hair as you watch the kids play on the playground. “Why are you suddenly so obsessed with my hair?” You ask with a laugh.

“I don't know, I've never seen a mullet in person. It looks so… touchable. I don't know. I can't explain it,” Wanda replies as she continues to move her fingers through your hair. “Business in the front,” she touches the front of your hair and then moves her hand down to the back, “party in the back!”

You shake your head slightly, “You're insufferable, you know that right?”

“I know,” she says. As much as you are giving off the impression that you don't want her to touch your hair, you're happy that she is. 

“I'm starting to rethink this whole friendship thing,” you grouch with a playfulness to your tone. 

“Whatever, Uncle Jesse,” she pulls her hand out of your hair and holds her phone up. “Say cheese!” You roll your eyes as she takes candid pictures of you. Then she calls her boys over to pose with you. The three of you show off your new haircuts. 

After going to a fast food restaurant for dinner, you and Wanda decide it's best to split from each other so that the kids can get ready for school on Monday. Everyone hugs each other goodbye. 

“Baba?” Rachel asks for your attention as you're driving home. You hum to let her know that she has your attention. “When you do fall in love again. I hope it's with someone like Wanda.”  You don't say anything as you keep your eyes on the road.

Chapter 18

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[gyll-yee-haw]

Hi Maria!! I hope you’re doing well ❤️❤️

Do you mind writing Donnie and reader’s first time? He’d be so patient and careful with his girl the whole time, that if she ended up crying halfway through because of how good it felt, he’d be horrified that he hurt her somehow 😭 just something sweet for that poor man

Yes yes yes my poor sad boy deserves the world :(

Warnings: I was too horny writing this, so I went straight to the point, sorry. Loss of virginity, implied unprotected sex, p in v, Donnie being so subbie and cute and unable to not cum too soon :(, masturbation (f and mentions of m)

Like 1.3k words

---

It was a brand new feeling. And you couldn't believe how fucking incredible it was... with every movement of his cock scratching that special spot just right... sending waves of pleasure through your whole body... and then you'd look up and see the prettiest boy who's ever lived, right above you. Eyes so big, so blue, so curious, a little crinkle of worry on his forehead.

Oh my god, is she enjoying this? - was all he could think of.

He was so nervous. And it didn't help at all that your expression was so hard to read.

Still, he was just discovering what pussy drunk meant, cause he was getting the same waves of pleasure as you... and he couldn't stop.

He had been holding himself back, until he couldn't anymore. He left out a loud and pathetic moan. The hottest fucking thing you ever heard. Your pussy automatically clenched around his length.

"Oh my god" You whined, tears escaping your eyes.

Oh no. Oh shit. You were so fucking tight around him... but you were... crying?

"Baby... sorry... shit" He tried to pull out, but you held him in his place, wrapping arms and legs around him.

"Donnie, please..." You begged, tears falling on the pillow under your head.

"I'm hurting you!" He protested, stopping his thrusts immediately. His cock throbbed inside you in need, making him feel like crying.

"You're not hurting me!" You tried to buck your hips, but he was too close and you were holding him too tight to allow that.

"Then why are you crying?" The crinkle on his forehead grew.

"Cause it feels so fucking good..." You sighed. "Love your cock, Donnie..."

"Oh shit, doll, don't do this to me..." His cock throbbed uncontrollably inside you.

"Love it when it does that..." You smiled, biting your lip.

"Y/N, I'm serious..." He closed his eyes, trying to focus on anything but the look on your face on that moment, otherwise the fun would be over too soon...

"Donnie, can we continue?" You asked, nails running up and down his back.

"Give me a sec." His face turned red.

"You're not hurting me, Don, I swear..." You insisted.

"Can't move." He whispered.

"Why?" You asked frustratedly.

"Cause you're squeezing me way too good." He admitted, face visibly burning.

"Oh..." You couldn't help but chuckle.

"Not fucking funny." He sighed. "Just wanted to please you. Such a shitty boyfriend..."

"Donnie, baby..." You cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. "Need you to move... want you to cum so good for me..."

"But..."

"Come on, Donnie... I wanna see you cum... please?" You grabbed the hair on the back of his head, gently tugging on it. "Swear it's gonna make me feel so good..."

"You're supposed to do that first." He groaned, clearly mad at himself.

"Supposed to? There's no right and wrong. It's our first time." You assured him. "Do it for me, please? I'll let you do whatever you want to me afterwards, yeah? Promise it won't be over."

There was a new sparkle in his eyes after hearing that. He couldn't believe that he would get to play with your gorgeous body like he always dreamt of...

"Hmm... can I... hmm..." He got shy again, thinking of the possibilities. "Can I cum on your tits?"

"Fuck, Donnie..." You moaned. "Do it for me, baby, let me see you."

He removed himself from you and it was almost painful for both of you. But you didn't have much time to think. You got on your knees on the bed, watching Donnie stroke his cock. It was so hard... the tip as red as his cheeks, leaking something you couldn't wait to taste someday.

"Shit..." He moaned, desperation on his face. "I'm gonna cum..."

"Cum for me, Donnie..." You begged, just as desperate as him. "Cum all over my tits..."

He left out the hottest sounds you had ever heard as he painted your tits white. And your chin. And belly. He made an inexperienced mess... couldn't help it... he had never been this turned on his his life, his aim wouldn't be good.

"That was so fucking hot, Donnie..." you smiled, watching him fight for his life. You wondered if he would ever be able to stop blushing.

"Hm... everytime I... hmm..." He tried to talk, but was very distracted by the way your hand slided all the way to your pussy, starting to rub yourself.

"Keep talking." You said, eyes focused on his face.

"Everytime I... jerk off I... picture myself coming on your tits." He admitted. "Specially since you... uh... showed me them, the other day."

"Yeah?" You smirked, spreading your legs wider. "Was reality better than you imagined?"

He nodded eagerly. Your fingers started rubbing your clit faster and you left out a moan.

"I'm so sorry I didn't satisfy you..." He was still very disappointed. "I just... wanted our first time to be perfect."

"Shh... come here, baby boy." You chuckled. "Wanna touch me?"

It was stupid to be this excited about this, when he had literally just been inside you... but he didn't even care at this point. He kept his eyes glued to your face as he rubbed all the wrong spots. You had to direct his fingers to your clit. And when he got a reaction from you, indicating he was doing good... oh god.

"Ouch!" Your hips bucked. "Slower, Don... nice and slow..."

"M'sorry..." His eyes widened.

"It's okay, baby... just like that..." You praised. "It... it feels so good..."

"Yeah?" He asked proudly. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please, Don..." You smiled.

The way you looked at each other before the kiss... you both knew. That was the moment you threw all the worries out of the window. Fuck a perfect first time. You were having fun, discovering each other's bodies. When he kissed you, it was so romantic. So intimate. So good... so good.

"Hm... Donnie..." You moaned against his lips. "You're gonna make me cum like this..."

"Please... please, I really want you to..." He crashed his lips against your again, rubbing you incredibly right.

It felt so new... having someone else's fingers making you cum. God, Donnie's fingers... that thought alone could drive you crazy.

More tears escaped your eyes as you reached your peak, but they didn't scare him anymore. They amazed him. He wouldn't get used to this any time soon...

"Stop, stop, stop!" You pushed his hand away, way too overstimulated when it all ended.

"Sorry!" He gasped.

"It's okay, Don." You smiled, feeling like you were floating. "Just felt too good."

"Did you, really?" He asked, with that beautiful smile of his.

"Hell yeah." You laid on your back, letting out a sigh of relief. "This was perfect."

"It... it was, wasn't it?" He smiled, laying beside you.

Donnie became such a clingy little boyfriend after that. And I don't mean only during that post orgasmic bliss... I mean, that boy won't leave you alone for days. Weeks. He's addicted to you. He wants to try everything he always dreamt of. He wants to try everything he's never heard of.

He wants to try everything with you.

[stxrvel]

i don't wanna live forever (5)

summary: the time had come to destroy HYDRA and collect for all that had been taken from them...

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: 6k

warnings: descriptions of: blood, wounds, fights and weapons. probably gonna wake a lot of sadness since the begining. mentiones of suicide thoughts. heartbreak. stubborn characters. mentions of character deaths (canon). remember i'm not that good at writing action scenes and that English is not my first language!

note: hi guys! i didn't rest today at work. instead, i wrote 6k words for my actual hyperfixation and i'm actually exhausted. sometimes i write first in spanish and then in english, when my head is not up for the double translate, and leave the conversion to future me. this is future me talking and i hate myself for that. but i'm kind of proud how this one came out, so i hope you guys like it the same! feedback and reactions are always appreciated! see u guys next time &lt;3

part 1

It was already getting dark when the small cellar you were in with your friends filled with applause and singing, a joy bouncing off the walls as you walked in Steve's direction with a grin from ear to ear. Your blond friend watched the small cake Peggy had gotten him that afternoon head towards him between your hands, setting it down on an upturned wooden barrel, a little damp, that they would use as a table.

Peggy and Bucky were off to the side, their faces matching your excitement as Steve reached down and shook his head.

“I don't even want to imagine how you got that cake in,” was the first thing Steve said when the happy birthday song ended, shooting you a grateful look. His eyes sparkled like you hadn't seen in many days and you felt Peggy's squeeze on your forearm as she came over to form a little circle just like Bucky.

“Trust me, you don't want to know,” Peggy shook her head, her smile matching the blond's.

You watched Steve split a piece of the cake with a spoon you had no idea where Peggy had gotten it from, your friend bursting out laughing when Steve raised his head and she smeared white cream all over his nose. At that moment you felt Bucky's body heat behind you, all your senses turning on at once.

“No candle, but you can make a wish before you take the first bite.”

Steve shared a look with his friend, still with that twinkle in his eye and the most relaxed expression he'd had in days. He was still wearing his uniform, having caught him by surprise to bring him into the warehouse after a long day of planning strategies for the next mission against HYDRA. You and Peggy had been thinking for several days about doing something, and being that it was rather difficult to throw a small party in the camp you were in, you decided to opt for something a little more ordinary and familiar. You couldn't say, however, that Steve didn't like it, not when you saw him smiling at everyone so openly, shoulders down and spreading laughter to everyone around him.

With the spoon halfway to his mouth, Steve closed his eyes and made a wish.

You smiled indulgently, watching two of your friends share a small moment as Steve took some more cake to give Peggy. With your hands behind your back, you suddenly felt Bucky's left hand make its way through your fingers, intertwining your hands very carefully.

“How's the taste?”

Steve shook his head nodding at your words, his brow furrowing in pleasure as he enjoyed the large bites he was taking of the cake. At that moment, all you could think about was how much you would sacrifice to stay in that bubble forever, even without knowing what was coming next.

-

“Are you okay?”

You heard his footsteps before you saw him, his body leaning against the second to last step where you had sat and turned away from the others. The routine you had had to get used to over the past few months, after believing you were going to change the world, had become a constant burden that was hard to shake off. Still, you took and cherished moments like those when you could go out and sit and just watch the vast sky stretching for miles. The stars shone so brightly there, in the middle of the forest, that they seemed like little beacons seeking to guide you to a better future; perhaps to a future that you did deserve. Steve also sometimes accompanied you in silence, having learned that he couldn't always argue with you about the meaning of life and the purpose for which you two had to carry out the unjust orders of superiors. You once saw one of his drawings, a woman sitting at the top of a flight of stairs and a starry night giving her a message of hope. Maybe he saw it the same way too after a while.

“Yeah,” you replied to Bucky with a tight-lipped little smile.

Bucky didn't know much about you now. As the weeks went by you realized it was true what he had once told you, when the America's couple shows and his platoon's stay coincided for the first time in months. You had changed a lot since the serum injection. And, well, who wouldn't, after all? That's why when you were together after so long he spent time very close to you, very aware of you, checking with his excellent senses that nothing was out of place. That you were okay.

You didn't know if he had believed you, by the way his face remained expressionless, barely a slight twitch of his eyebrows, but he didn't repeat the question.

“Do you think there's anything else for us, besides this?”

Bucky turned his gaze to look at the sky and you watched his profile, the curve of his eyelashes and his half-opened lips. Situations like that had become commonplace, too. Since you no longer spent so much time together and you had changed so much because somehow you had to adapt to the harsh reality against which you had crashed, Bucky constantly wondered many things about life that ended up being his own fears materialized in existential crises. For him his world was shaking. Since you told him that you had been invited to the Super Soldier project with Steve, everything had become uncertainty for him. Uncertainty about his life, about your life, about the life you wanted to have together, uncertainty about the future, uncertainty about life.

You had the conception that Bucky could never fully adapt to the abrupt change that meant his two best friends were involved in a private experiment that gave them heightened senses and more strength and speed than an average human. Now he seemed to looked at himself like the mere mortal who walked shoulder to shoulder with two gods. He seemed to feel that death would knock faster at his door and it drove him mad.

“Yeah, I don't think this is it,” you shook your head in assent, watching out of the corner of your eye as Bucky rested his forearms on his knees and leaned forward a bit. His hands interlocked and parted, his fingertips met and parted, his fists opened and closed.

“But you'll outlive me,” Bucky looked down, his blue eyes glittering focused on yours under the moonlight. You could barely hear movement in the back of the hold where Peggy and Steve were still talking. Your heart flipped at the vulnerability you saw through his eyes, lately more common than you'd like. You didn't like not being able to quell those thoughts that dominated his head; the insecurities and fears that made him doubt so many things in the middle of the night.

“We'd live the same amount of time,” you assured him shaking your head, your own mind refusing to accept that Bucky's fears could take more power over him. Whatever you could do to calm him, you would do, always.

“You have the serum. You and Steve will live for many more years. Hell, maybe you'll even be immortals,” Bucky tried to smile, but a grimace settled on his face and made his words bitter. He was subtly trying to untwist his shoulders, barely moving to your side trying not to show too much that he was kind of nervous.

“Why are you telling me that now?” you shifted on the wooden step, moving a little closer towards him. Bucky tensed visibly, not because of the closeness, but because he knew the moment was coming when you would stop following his lead and start asking him what was really plaguing his mind. For some reason, Bucky couldn't approach those topics of conversation naturally, letting his mind and words wander a bit before daring to take his fears by the horns.

“I don't know… I guess. It's a truth I have to accept,” he confessed, his voice so fragile and soft that had it not been for the extreme hearing the serum had granted you, you surely wouldn't have understood him. You felt your heart crumple and moved your hand from your lap to cradle his hands that he still could not let still.

“But it is a truth that is still a long way from being fulfilled.”

“And first we have to get through the war,” Bucky turned his hands to lace them with yours, his fingers intertwining with yours and giving them a squeeze.

“We will. I have no doubt about it. In fact, I have a plan to persuade Phillips,” you smiled at him trying to lighten the weight on his shoulders a bit.

Little surprised, Bucky let out a laugh, his free shoulders shaking in sync with his chest. A beautiful smile spread across his face, and you would've enjoyed it except you could still notice his tired eyes and the dark traces beneath them. It seemed that the moonlight intensified the reality of his emotions.

“You always have a plan for everything.”

“What can I say? I'm an optimist,” you lifted your shoulders, leaning against Bucky's side. His head dropped to rest on the crown of your head, his breathing synchronizing with yours for a moment.

“Between the two of us, you definitely are,” he murmured, taking a deep breath, enjoying the moment for several seconds. “Sorry for… coming to bring up those topics of conversation.”

“No, it's okay. I like to listen. And you tend to do that sometimes,” you shook your head over his shoulder trying to dispel the topic, Bucky's hands tightening around yours.

“What?”

“You suddenly talk about things you don't want to tell me too much about and then put a little light-hearted attitude on it so it doesn't sound so serious.”

Bucky lifted his head, causing you to move in time to meet his surprised expression as well. His lips were trying to twitch into a smile, but he didn't seem to know if he wanted to laugh or frown.

“Do I really do it that often?”

“A little, yes.”

“Ah, I'm pretty bad at dissembling I guess,” Bucky looked up, finally succumbing to the smile. The gesture satisfied you enough to delve into the emotion with him, taking a moment to further enjoy that scenario you could no longer be a part of lately; to enjoy those everyday moments where you could feel love materially spark around you, as if it was a novel written solely to satisfy human romantic desires and whims.

You shook your head, returning to the subject.

“But you don't have to worry about my supposed immortality. I know we'll live the same,” you assured him once more, your arms wrapping around his right arm and squeezing it securely, hugging him, trying to send him some of the confidence you felt inside.

“How are you so sure?”

The truth was, you weren't, but you couldn't let him know that, much less let him know that you didn't expect his life expectancy to be as extensive as yours was now either. But how were you going to tell him that? He must've been martyred enough by his own thoughts during every moment of the day when they drowned him, and it wasn't as if you expected too much of a life after him either. You could have immortality served on a silver platter, but what would be the point if you had to spend it on your own? Bucky was thinking about not wanting to leave you alone, and you were thinking about the impossibility of finding a reason to live after him.

“Because I know I don't want to live forever if I'm not with you.”

Bucky stopped his light, ghost-like caresses on your fingers. He turned his face to look at you, his nostalgic expression disappearing in a matter of seconds. His blue eyes looked contrite, as if there was a storm inside them. You had never hesitated in your answer, no matter when he had asked. And yet you seemed to have taken him by surprise; it seemed that such a thing would never have crossed his mind even by accident.

“Y/N…”

“I'd be living in vain. Stolen time,” you shook your head, averting your gaze from the depths of his, an unknown kind of longing or fear furrowing across his features that you couldn't bear to see a second longer. You were there at that moment and you would see each other again later, why did you have to think about it too much?

Bucky sighed. Only when you felt his body relax against your side did you know he understood that it would do no good for him to try to antagonize you.

“Still, you deserve a life like this. After all you've been through,” his voice was barely a whisper that tore through the silent chill that surrounded you, but the implication of his words furrowed against your chest like a dagger. You shook your head before the memories could reach you.

“We all deserve it, especially in this world consumed by the greed of power and hatred.”

You saw him nod out of the corner of your eye, his hands wrapping around one of your hands, the one closest to his side and bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. His eyes were fixed on your profile, you could feel it, but you were afraid to turn to look at him and allow your emotions to come out. You were too sweet to succumb to strong feelings when you were with Bucky.

“Hey!” was Steve's voice, like a beacon in the middle of the ocean, making you both turn at the same time. “Peggy's just leaving.”

“Want a ride, Barnes?”

“Ah, it would be my pleasure, Agent Carter.”

Peggy moved, after saying goodbye to Steve and you, and walked in the direction of the huge forest that stretched into the distance where she had parked her car. Or Howard's car, you couldn't quite make out through the darkness.

“See you later, Miss I-don't-want-to-live-forever,” Bucky approached you with a half smile, having said goodbye to Steve, meeting him halfway to melt you in his arms. The tension in your shoulders eased considerably, a sigh making its way into your chest.

“Take care, Bucky,” you squeezed his waist, because you weren't tall enough to reach his shoulders in a hug, and he squeezed you back in response.

“Sure thing. I got to see my girl again, after all.”

You laughed between the hollow of his neck and shoulder, feeling your cheeks burn. Bucky broke away just barely to look at you with his own huge grin.

“Don't overdo it, Barnes.”

“Come on!” Peggy insisted, glancing at the watch on her wrist.

You broke away from Bucky, trying to push him to get into the car with his affianced friend, but he had other plans. In the midst of your struggle to push him away, he grabbed one of your wrists, using very little force to pull you close to his chest, his lips crashing against yours in a fleeting action, but not at all rough, barely a brush. Before you knew what happened he had already pulled away from you.

“When I get back, we have a lot to talk about.”

He never came back. He left in the next couple of days for the mission on the train and all you got back was a shattered Steve, his face dirty and sticky from all the tears he'd shed, his pleading eyes crystallizing on you the moment he had to tell you that Bucky had died. You could still remember how his voice cracked as he begged your forgiveness, repeating it over and over as if it would ease the burden he felt on his shoulders, the guilt for not being able to get him in time. You never blamed Steve for what happened, but it seemed like he did for a long time.

Reliving those memories was always a constant martyrdom. After Bucky's funeral you didn't think you could move on, but carrying all his pain in a sack of rocks, Steve assured you that they would avenge the reason Bucky had died. HYDRA. So you did and were able to carry on for a while until Steve was also declared KIA.

Peggy and Howard were a great help when you realized that you couldn't die on your own, because you healed faster than normal and could spend more time than humanly possible underwater. To say that you didn't try to leave the earthly world would be a lie, but your friends tried to help you in every way they could until you had to leave the United States. When you thought you would have to spend years hiding in Europe, Howard told you that wasn't necessary. Just staying under the radar and out of the feds' jurisdiction would be fine and he would take care of it. And one day, after spending a week in the apartment you were renting without getting out of bed for almost any reason, a knock on the door startled you.

“Correspondence,” rang through the silence of the apartment.

You only got up because you knew the mailman was wrong. You had given your address to absolutely no one and there was no way any person knew of your existence in that country. You thought you took pity on the man, when he handed you the letter and it did indeed have your name on it.

It was an acceptance letter from some university. Apparently you had enrolled to study mathematics.

You had a suspicion of what was going on, but something in your chest asked you to ignore it. The letter asked for an interview before classes started in exactly three days, and after that interview you received a letter from Peggy.

When Howard died you knew you couldn't go back to Europe. Largely because you had to find out who his killer was, but also because you wanted to watch over Peggy's life as you couldn't do for your other three friends. You were often terrified for your friend's life, especially having the job she had and dealing with all those powerful people who wouldn't hesitate for the blink of an eye to order her death.

Steve was right. You stayed with Peggy to investigate Howard's death. But you also stayed because she was the only thing you had left and you had to take care of her; you had to preserve her, to do everything you could to prevent another tragic and unnecessary death. You would've sacrificed anything in life just to allow Peggy to have the life she deserved. And so you did. You cared for her for many years, you were so attentive to her that her children called you aunt and then her grandchildren called you grandma; you were at all her family gatherings, giving gifts to her children at Christmas and celebrating each new year as you watched time pass through her eyes. Every January 1st you saw it as a win, a whole year in which so much sacrifice had been worth it.

Now… well, now everything was a bit more complicated.

Natasha had left the abandoned dam first after going over the plan one last time. You were supposed to go with Steve and Sam, even though Steve was reluctant to have you near the Winter Soldier again, as if you didn't have the same strength and agility as he did. Of course, his fear was rooted in something completely different than that, something he and Natasha had discovered with Zola.

“HYDRA spent years searching for you to recreate the super-soldier serum after the war. If not for the excellent work Peggy and Howard did, they probably would've found you more easily.”

Now, having such a palpable possibility of destroying HYDRA, you didn't think there was the slightest chance that they were still thinking about it, although Natasha stressed that it seemed to be that the soldier had two different missions when he found them in the middle of the city, one of them being that he was to keep you alive. Zhivoy, you recalled bitterly. Alive.

Steve didn't want to risk finding something else waiting for them when they reached the helicarriers, something that might lead you away from him. And yes, you understood his concern because it was the same one you'd felt for years and was more latent recently since Steve returned. But you weren't going to stand by like a fucking statue while they did all the work. You would take it upon yourself to destroy HYDRA completely and deprive them of any chance they might have to get close to Steve, you or Bucky again. Whatever you had to do, you'd do it.

“He's not the same,” you had told Steve, as you walked to the Triskelion in the company of Sam and Maria.

“But he'll remember us,” Steve assured, his hand tightly gripping the strap with which he held the shield. Steve had been repeating that to himself all day, even in front of Sam. You couldn't believe you were the one trying to maintain an objective demeanor in that situation.

“Yeah, maybe at some point. But right now it's not him, Steve,” you turned to look at him, his face fixed on the expanse of water surrounding the large building he used to work for. “He's not the Bucky we knew.”

Steve looked back at you, pausing for a moment. You knew he was mindful of it, you knew Steve was aware of how dangerous he was now; that there was a good chance he really didn't remember them and you wanted to make sure that wouldn't cloud his judgment; that he would still fight for his life.

But the resolve in his eyes didn't convince you. His lack of response fanned a hollow in your chest, your hands breaking out in a cold sweat as you stared at the empty space he left in front of you.

Steve was willing to bring him back and you were afraid of losing him.

For some reason, you felt it had to be different.

-

You heard Steve's voice over the speakers, running so you could find the helicarriers exit before they took off. Steve and Sam were supposed to meet you halfway, but you were already halfway there, fighting off a few agents, and you still didn't hear them nearby. Your breath caught in your throat as one of the STRIKE agents grabbed you by the throat while another plunged an electric baton into your side, the sensation of volts coursing through your entire nervous system sending you into a momentary state of shock.

You dropped your hands to stop struggling with the agent behind you and grabbed the wrist holding the baton with an overly strong grip, snapping the bone in place and jerking your head to strike the face of the man behind you as his grip wobbled for a second. Both agents fell to the ground, two bones broken in less than a minute. You grabbed the baton before departing, hitting them both in the head barely using half your strength, knocking them unconscious instantly.

As you exited the Triskelion facility to meet the gap you would have to jump over to intercept the first helicarrier, you heard Steve and Sam's voices closer. Oh, right, you forgot to use the communicator.

“Where were you?” Steve exclaimed, running alongside Sam closer to the chasm.

“You've got blood on your neck,” Sam pointed out, before spreading his metal wings and flying off into the sky.

“Put on your communicator,” Steve asked you just before you both jumped at the same time, a feeling of emptiness planting itself in the pit of your stomach.

You landed with your legs bent and leaned forward for a spin before getting up and continuing to run alongside Steve. You rummaged in one of your pants pockets, praying that the small devices hadn't been shattered during the fights you had inside the Triskelion.

Only one was spared.

Steve barely sent you a reproachful glance, shaking his head, as you approached a horde of HYDRA agents. You barely finished putting the small communicator to your ear when the hail of bullets came in their direction. Steve grabbed your arm to pull you behind his shield until he managed to hide behind two large containers. The fight was immediate.

The group of agents split up and you jumped right in front of two of them, sliding on the ground to use the baton from below to disarm them. You knocked one of them out with the high volts of the baton and the other tried to stab you from behind, but you stopped his hand midway and flipped his arm over, a shriek of pain escaping him as his shoulder dislocated. The man fell to his knees and, lifting one leg, you half-turned to strike his face with your full tibia.

“Cap, I found the bad guys you were talking about,” you heard Sam's voice, noting that, although that communicator was working, the voice you perceived sounded distant.

“Are you okay?” you heard Steve, as he came closer and you stepped on the handle of the staff, lifting it in a single stroke so that it landed in your hand.

“Not dead yet.”

Steve nodded, though he knew Sam couldn't see him and gave you a questioning look.

“Works?” he pointed to your ear, starting to pace.

“A little bruised, but does the job.”

Your friend shook his head, starting to run inside the helicarrier.

“Cap?” you smirked.

“Don't start,” the blond spoke through his teeth, moving toward his target. “Report location.”

You nodded in his direction, heading for the first agents who appeared to obstruct his path, clearing Steve's way in the direction of the helicarrier hub.

When you were done with the agents and Steve was finally able to enter the control center, you turned your attention to the voices ringing through the communicator.

“Ah, shit,” was Sam's voice, and the next thing you heard was gunfire around the helicarrier next to it.

“Fine, but you're going with me. I don't want to let you out of my sight,” Steve had said a few hours before they left the dam, leaving no room for argument in his haughty voice.

“That's unnecessary, Steve. We'd waste too much time,” you shook your head, trying to match his stoic, stern expression.

“She's right,” Maria nodded in your direction. “There are three helicarriers and three of you.”

“No,” Steve began to rise, your eyes following the movement of his body and his blue eyes fixed on yours. “Fury delegated orders to me, and that's an order.”

You indulged Steve until you lost sight of him, understanding he had said that out of pent-up fear. You grabbed one of the weapons that had been left on the ground and passed the strap over your head. The third helicarrier was a considerable distance away at a jump. You had to pick up too much speed to even make it to the tip, but you weren't going to stand there waiting for Steve when you could be doing something more; something necessary.

So that's what you did. Steve still hadn't reported state when you started running from tip to tip, your steps getting bigger with every second until you reached the gap and picked up momentum at the tip. That was insane. You felt the emptiness in your stomach again and out of the corner of your eye you could see a couple of explosions occurring in the harbor where the helicarriers had departed from. You stretched your arms out, counting on having propelled your body far enough, fearing a deadly fall as the other edge began to look higher and higher.

“Y/N, status,” you heard Hill, your heart in your mouth.

Your mind went blank for a second, when in the midst of the adrenaline you almost didn't even feel the moment when your left hand gripped the edge of the helicarrier tightly, the aircraft moving a little farther with each passing second. You had jumped at just the right moment.

Breathing hard, you propelled yourself upward until you could plant your feet back on the runway floor and replied to Maria, “Waiting.”

Steve must've thought you were still on the helicarrier with him.

As you ran, Sam reported that he had intercepted the second helicarrier after Steve, barely recognizing their voices amidst the tussle you were having with the agents who had appeared before you could reach the control room door.

“Y/N, where are you?” the voice of Steve came over the comm, a few minutes after you took down the last agent, moving in the direction of the metal door. You felt heavily for the programming card you had taken from Steve when he had pulled you close to get behind his shield, as you heard him ask Sam if he could see you.

You were about to reach the door when the scenery abruptly changed, a body appearing out of nowhere colliding into your left side sending you crashing to the ground hard.

“Shit.”

“Y/N?”

You ignored Steve's voice, moving to push off the heavy body on top of yours. Amidst the struggle you crawled away across the floor, a hand clutching at your ankle before you could move any further.

You recognized him by the coldness that ran through your body at the contact. You could almost be sure it had burned you.

This time he wasn't wearing the mask, those blue eyes boring deep into your head, the angry expression very different from how you had seen him last time. Although you would've liked to stay longer just watching, after spending so many years suffering his death, you pulled the leg he had held captive and tried to hit him in the face, his metal arm moving faster neutralizing the hit.

At that moment you stood up arching your back, planting your feet hard and running towards the soldier before he could catch you off guard.

You tried to strike his face, but he nimbly dodged every blow, just as you dodged his. He let out a grunt of frustration as you sent him to the ground with a kick to the chest, pulling a weapon from his side that he didn't hesitate a second to point in your direction. Feeling the air caught in your throat, you moved quickly on the ground, trying to escape his bullets while managing to find a place to hide.

You heard his footsteps approaching, as you hid behind a container, stopping just on the other side, and you moved to the right side of the container when you knew he was going to jump out and surprise you from above.

His body froze for a second, which you took advantage of to jump over the dumpster and grab him from behind, the baton you had on your belt wrapped around his neck, cutting off his breathing. You tried to hold him tight as he tried to push away your grip with his metal arm, almost as strong as your push to keep him in place.

The soldier began to slow his movements, but if you hadn't been so torn between he's the Winter Soldier and he's Bucky, you would've noticed one of his hands move over his vest, grabbing the handle of a knife and burying it in your right leg hard, all the way in, causing you to gasp.

Clearly your grip wobbled, the soldier taking possession of your staff and turning around as he pulled the blade out of your leg to direct his foot towards your chest, pushing you back to the ground where you fell with a loud thud.

The wound was deep. You could feel and hear the blood pouring out of it, but you didn't just stand there as you saw him leap down from the container, raising his arms to parry his attack as he directed the knife towards your face. His face contorted and scrunched up in concentration was all you could focus on, remembering that you couldn't let him win, but you also couldn't hurt him like he wanted to hurt you. You had to be objective, yes, but the thought of hurting him once more was heartbreaking.

You struggled with his hand until he let go of the knife, using your strength and trying to ignore the sharp pain in your leg from the effort to push him to the ground beside you with your hand on his neck and your leg around his waist, lying on top of him with one leg on each side.

At that moment, as you tried to keep your arm over his neck and he tried to weaken you by hitting your sides, you heard Steve and Sam's voices again. A small panic ran through your body which was enough for the soldier to push your arm away, grabbing you by the neck with his metal arm and bringing a gun close to your face as he rose up, taking you with him, until he slammed you into a wall with great force.

You raised your hand between your bodies to move the tip of the gun, the shot falling a short distance above your head, your exorbitant eyes watching his furious expression. His metal hand closed tighter and tighter around your neck, your breath hitching, but you didn't relinquish your grip on the hand still holding the gun.

In the midst of the struggle, you brought your knee up to strike his crotch. The soldier jerked away, a whimper dying in his mouth as you moved toward him again, pushing his arm away as he pointed the gun at you again and the shot landed somewhere behind you again.

You hit him in the face with your own head, one of your hands holding his right arm with the gun and the other trying to keep his metal arm that held the knife dripping with your blood at bay. You hit him full in the nose again, but even though the blood was starting to drip down, the soldier didn't budge one bit.

“Go!” you shouted to Steve and Sam, the soldier averting his attention for a tiny moment before struggling against your grip again.

You had to break free somehow to get the card to Steve. Your body began to give way with the soldier's thrust, your boots sliding on the floor like it was marble. The soldier began to close his arms and you tried to match his strength, but the blood leaking from the wound in your leg was slowly weakening you. And it was a vibranium knife again.

Suddenly you noticed Steve running towards you, the fleeting glance costing you restraint, as the soldier raised your arms and turned you roughly, his back crashing against your chest and his metal hand burying in your chest the knife hard, moving it from side to side as he did that cold night in Siberia.

In the midst of the pain and weakness from the blood loss, you laid your head on his shoulder, the adrenaline slowly draining from your body.

“Bucky,” you whispered like a prayer, your strangled voice barely making its way out of your mouth and the soldier tensing behind you. The struggling stopped for a second.

Then his body heat disappeared. Steve must've reached and tackled the soldier without missing a beat.

“Hey, hey,” you heard Sam approaching you, kneeling beside you and taking your hand that wanted to pull the knife out of your chest. Right through the center, near the heart. That pain was no match for the disappointment that was tearing you apart inside. Maybe that time you could actually die. “Don't touch that.”

“Give the card to Steve…” you barely muttered breathlessly, one of your hands moving to pull the card out of one of your lower pants pockets. “Run.”

Sam hesitated for a few seconds, looking between your knife and the fight that was still picking up steam in the background, until he clicked his tongue and stood up.

“Don't take that knife out!”

You saw him run in the direction of Steve and the soldier, his metal wings rising in the midst of the struggle. Steve and Sam began to get the upper hand, and at some point, Steve took off in the direction of the helicarrier control center.

You dropped to the ground, watching helplessly as the soldier overpowered Sam, dislodging his wings with the force of his metal arm. The pain was too much, but Sam was completely helpless. No matter how much training he might've had, fighting the Winter Soldier was disproportionate.

So in a matter of seconds you stood up, grasping between gasps the handle of the knife and pulling it out of your chest without a second thought.

The electric current of pain that coursed through your body was unbearable, feeling as if the hollowness you constantly felt in your chest from emotions had suddenly materialized, a constant pang that coursed through you from head to toe at every microsecond, with every movement. Sam didn't even have time to react when you grabbed the soldier by the throat, burying the knife in his leg and trying to wave him off.

You could consider yourself well served if at that moment that was your death.

The soldier grabbed the arm around your neck and leaned forward, lifting you up and flipping you over onto your back, falling hard and painfully to the ground. You looked at the knife in his leg before looking at his face again. He had a couple of cuts, his expression still angry, but he seemed to hesitate as he pulled the knife out like it was nothing and watched you lying on the ground, completely at his mercy.

His hesitation brought unease to your chest.

“Bucky,” you called again, tears welling in your eyes.

The soldier only frowned, his anger momentarily fading until he seemed to remember something.

He turned to look at the control center. Before running off, he sent you another disgruntled look, just like that time on the road.

Whatever had happened after that, death or not, was extremely painful.

-

tag: @samodivaa @rubyxx16

[mlmxreader]

Something That Used to be Unsaid | Kili x gn!reader

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ Kili

34 “I love you, I really do”

55 “You’ll always be my first choice” ( this sweetness is insecure asf and it show)

64 “You could’ve gotten yourself killed! You idiot!” ❞

: ̗̀➛ There's always been something between you and Kili, although neither of you ever really thought to talk about it.

: ̗̀➛ swearing, mild injury

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

Years ago, you and Kili had been sweethearts; so close together that you were practically joined at the hip, constantly together no matter the weather. Any storm, the two of you could toughen it out as long as he had your hand to hold and you had his head on your chest.

Nothing was ever really said, but it never needed to be; you were always together, you never fell apart, even when you got older. You were a natural choice for Thorin's company; strong and intelligent, steady and sturdy. He trusted you, and it helped that Kili insisted on you going as well, even Fili backed him up.

Thorin trusted you, as you had shown yourself to be nothing but reliable and capable - above all else, he needed loyalty and competency. You fit the bill perfectly for it.

Kili would give you his arrows when he wasn't using his bow, as he knew that you refused to fight with anything else; a hunter, you were used to the sprawling woodlands.

When you were younger, Kili always knew where to find you. Halfway up a tree, whistling away and eating wild berries. But those days were over. The trees you once loved were now dead, turned to ash and left to rot and decay with the years.

Lifeless.

The fires had torn through them, even killing the smaller saplings that should have lived for hundreds of years; their bodies were left where they fell. Forgotten and neglected. Bits of limbs crumpled and left on the floor out of reach.

Bushes once full of berries and bursting with life were now left as piles of thick corpses; piled up on top of one another. Nothing was alive in the woodlands that you once loved. The woodlands you once called home.

No spiders sat on their webs between the leaves. No flies buzzed near the rotten and out of season berries. No deer stalked through the tall green grass, making the blades dance in their careful wake. No wolves prowled the nighttime forest floors, their howls a soothing lullaby.

No squirrels scurried up trees to store their winter forages. No bears scratched their large backs on the tree trunks. Nothing was alive anymore. Everything that once called those woodlands home had either perished in the fires, or had been forced to move. In a way, you were lucky.

Thorin and his company took you in immediately, you didn't have to burn with your home; even though there were some nights where you wished you did. At least you still had the company of Kili, though.

At least he was keen to keep you around. You stayed with them, even when everyone was split up.

You stayed with them, and when you arrived at Bilbo Baggins' hobbit hole, you stayed outside; confused, Kili told Fili to give you a moment, and he sat on the small seat outside, his hand on your thigh.

"What is it?" He asked.

You shrugged, clearing your throat as you pulled out your pipe and lit it. Puffing on the tobacco. "What happens when we claim your home?"

Kili hummed. "You'll come live with us."

He said it as if it was the single most obvious thing in the world. As if he was telling you that the sky was blue or that the most common berries in the woods were blackberries.

He said it as if you were almost foolish for asking in the first place, but you just sighed as you shook your head.

"I don't think I will," you told him. "You know as well as I do, the mountain isn't my home."

"But it's mine," he said. "And it's not my home if you're not there, too."

You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully as you scoffed. "Whatever."

But everything was fine after that. You and Kili seemed to go back to your usual way of being.

So close that you practically sat on top of one another when at tables and when stopping to make camp; when he tried to scare Bilbo with tales of orcs, you reminded him of what his uncle had been through a split second before Thorin also laid into him.

It all seemed to be going fine, until you and Kili were sent to scrounge and forage for some berries for the company; neither of you thought anything of it, really.

Sure, there were enough rations to go around, and between you and Kili and Fili, there were plenty of opportunities for hunting with success. But that's where the issue was.

Armed with his bow and arrow, Kili positioned himself at the top of a tree whilst you focused on the actual task. Easily picking the ripe berries and stuffing them into the small bag Thorin had given you.

You didn't even notice Kili had disappeared until you heard a twig snap, followed by the howls of a dozen curses; you didn't get to him in time, watching with a cringing wince as he crashed to the ground.

Landing right on his back. You were at his side immediately, patting his face until he grumbled and looked up at you.

"Are you hurt?"

"No," Kili sighed.

"Good," you huffed. "You could've gotten yourself killed! You idiot! What the fuck were you thinking?"

He grinned as he reached up to touch your face, his calloused fingertips so deft and gentle as he hummed. "My hero."

"Oh, fuck off," you scowled, checking his back for bruises and bumps when he managed to sit upright. You noticed him shiver at the cold feeling of your hands. "What?"

"You're cold," he whispered.

"Yeah, because the air's cold," you mumbled, not expecting him to quickly pin you beneath him. You laughed as you rolled your eyes. "Kili! Get off!"

He grinned as he pressed his bodyweight on top of you, his hands grabbing yours as he let you lace your fingers with his. "I love you, I really do."

You paused, gawking and glaring at him as you opened and closed your mouth for a moment; your stare was blank as you tried to process it.

He had never said something like that before, neither of you had. It never needed to be said before, but the way that he looked at you, the softness in his eyes as he gently took your hands in his, allowing his gaze to drop to your lips.

You knew that he meant it more than anything. You knew that he would always be there. You didn't even think about it, leaning up and kissing him so gently; he smiled, letting go of one of your hands so that he could cup your jaw.

"Y'know," you said softly upon pulling away. "You'll always be my first choice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," you nodded. "Always."

You looked over when you heard Fili's voice, taking Kili's hands in your own and pulling him up with you, your arm coming to rest around his waist as you hummed and smiled at him.

"Come on," you said softly. "We'll talk more later."

"Alright," he agreed, falling into step beside you as his arm rested across your shoulders. "But I'll hold you to it."

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

I absolutely love your writing and the way you write the Criminal Minds characters is just *chef's kiss*🤌

I was wondering if you could write something with Spencer x ftm Reader. Preferably something angsty but with a happy ending.

Maybe something like where the reader's dad/mom is in town and goes to his work to visit him and they keep misgendering him and when he tries to correct them they just dismiss him.

Maybe reader gives Spencer a look as to say "don't even bother". If the rest of the team notive maybe they come to his aid and basically kick out his family member. Lots of comfort from Spencer after.

Sorry if it's too long or confusing. You don't have to but I would love it if you did.

Thank you💕💕

warnings: deadnaming (D/N), transphobia, unaccepting parents, outing in the work place,

"(D/N)!" You freeze immediately. As does Spencer beside you.

"Who's (D/N)?" You hear Morgan whisper to Prentiss, followed by Prentiss whispering back that she didn't know. You look at Spencer, trying to gather the courage to turn around. And your dad is staring at you, you put on a fake smile.

"Dad, I've told you, it's (Y/N) now," You correct lightly, making sure to smile, the last thing you wanted was for him to get offended. You ignore the team (minus Spencer) sharing confused looks.

"You know I'm not going to remember that, I've got so much on my mind right how, what with your brother-"

"How is Danny?" You ask, hoping to change the subject.

"He misses his sister and he wants to know when you're coming back home,"

"Dad-" You sigh, dragging a hand over your face, "I told you, I'm his brother-"

"Don't be ridiculous, (D/N)." Your dad snaps, you sigh yet again, deciding not to bite back this time.

"Has Danny sorted out what college he wants to go to yet?"

"He doesn't want to go." The tone indicates that your father doesn't want to talk about it any more, so you drop it.

"How's work been?"

"Fine." He answers with a shrug. “Anyway, how’s my favourite daughter getting on?”

You try and hide the stress, but you know in a team of profilers it doesn’t exactly work. No. Instead, your team pick up on it immediately. Spencer meets your eyes and with the slight tilt of his head and the raise of an eyebrow, you know he’s offering to stand up for you, to correct your father. You shake your head, not wanting the unnecessary drama. 

 "When are you coming home?" He asks, unaware of the tension building in the bullpen - or he notices and just doesn’t give a crap, you aren’t too sure. 

"Dad, I told you, I'm staying here. I’ve got a good job," You hope he takes the hint of ‘I’ve got a good job don’t you dare ruin that for me or so help me God’. “I’m doing good here.”

He scoffs loudly, “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

“Remember that you’re the one that told me to leave.” You reminded and everyone (your father included) freezes. 

“How dare you-”

“I dare.” Your reply is instant. “Look, dad, I’ve got work to do. I finish at about six. You know where I live, the spare key is under the plant pot. Why don’t you just hang out there for a while and we can talk after I finish work?”

You hope he takes the suggestion, but he shakes his head. “No. We’re getting to the bottom of this now. I’m not having a freak as a daughter-”

“Lucky for you you’ve got a freak as a son, so you’re halfway there.” You snap. 

Morgan and Hotch both step forward and you flush, remembering that your team are here. “We’re going to have to ask you to leave.” Hotch states. 

Your dad laughs bitterly, looking past them at you, “We’ll see how long you last in the real world, (D/N).” And with that, he leaves. And your anxiety doubles. Because now you have to answer to your team. 

You look at Morgan and Hotch, “Thanks for that,” You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly.

“Don’t mention it,” Morgan shrugged.

Hotch furrowed his eyebrows, watching you shift nervously, “I think we should talk in private for a moment.”

Your hand shoots to Spencer’s instinctively. “With Spencer?” Hotch nods. 

You reach Hotch’s office, you all taking a seat, Spencer’s hand still clutched in yours - your mind running through all the possibilities, all ending badly. 

“Are you alright?” Is the first question that leaves Hotch’s mouth. You look at him, unsure but nod. “Alright, obviously you’re not obliged to go into detail about what that was, but we’re all here for you, should you want to.” He continued, “And I can talk to the team and tell them not to ask you about it if you’d like as well.”

“I don’t mind,” You answered honestly, “But it might have to be in about half an hour. I think I just need a minute.”

“Of course,” Hotch said, standing up, “Use my office, I was coming down for a coffee anyway.” He paused for a moment, “Take as much time as you need.”

“Thank you, sir.”

When Hotch left and the door was shut behind him, Reid turned to you, “Are you okay?” You nodded before taking a deep breath. Reid looked at you before reaching forward, bringing you into a warm embrace. “I’m so proud of you for how you handled that.”

“I was a shaking mess.”

“But you showed him how badass you are,” Spencer smiled as you nodded with a small laugh.

“Yeah. I showed him.”

[leclerced]

angst in the carhop AU ?

the pressure from race wins and WDC points gets to lando and oscar and they break up mid season , how does reader cope with this/ work around it esp with lando and oscar living in texas and her living with them ? is she responsible for them getting back tg or do their trainers and friends get in on it ? maybe lan is visiting one day and she misses calls from oscar and he shows up but lando is there and he gets jealous?

-🪼🪼🪼

omg breaking up with each other and not her... how do they do it? mclaren drivers fighting each other for the championship? multi 21 moment? where are they when they do it? how do they tell her? do they ask her to pick one or do they know they're just going to have to work out something so they can both keep seeing her? what does it mean for their future? so many thoughts...

lets talk living situation since you said they live together. they're rich enough to have multiple properties and it's good for investment reasons and shit. monaco is a tax shelter and because irl he lives there, i think lando would maintain residency there rather than legally move to america because of that. oscar would probably keep his place in the uk bc irl he hasn't moved anywhere that i know of. so post break-up, they'd both go back to their old places when the other is at the home in texas. they're not home very often anyways so it's not the biggest change. (does any of that make sense?) she does her best to spend equal time with each of them like switching who she talks to on the phone every night and who comes over on non race weekends.

i think at first, she wouldn't meddle. they're together constantly so they can talk and work things out on their own when they're ready. she believes they'll work it out on their own. she would want to, especially during nights where she's listening to one of them rant about the other. sometimes they're angry over a race result, that the other got an upgrade and they have to wait, etc. and she's pretty sure they're going to run each other off track the next time they race. other times, they're just sad and apologetic, and that's when she has hope they'll make up with each other.

she thinks about trying to trap them, make plans with both of them to come home so they have to sit and listen to her. but she's scared that'd piss one or both off, and that's the last thing she wants. there's just too much tension during the season for anything to be resolved. they'd interact when needed for work, interviews, and promo, but keep the interactions limited. they try to talk but they're both still angry about a lot of things, so they're just running in circles until they give up again.

then, winter break rolls around. lando has all these big plans to go skiing and mountaineering with his friends and invites reader but she can't suddenly take weeks off work without notice. she gets a couple of days off around the holidays and agrees to fly out then, but she's working on a big project and can't go jet-setting around the world with him. he understands and they'd make plans to talk every other night like usual and they're counting down the days until they see each other again. oscar's not that type though, got no plans other than to see her as much as possible. as soon as the last race is over and his media duties are done, he's flying back to her.

when lando calls her, oscar leaves the room to give them privacy and she doesn't tell lando he's there, a habit from the season when they always knew the other was there because they weren't. lando takes his absence from their calls as a sign that oscar isn't there and halfway through a ski trip decides to head back home, to her. his friends are understanding, wish him a safe flight and hours later he's unlocking the front door after getting dropped off. it truly doesn't occur to him that just because she didn't mention oscar, it doesn't mean he's not there. he hears them laughing as he kicks the door shut, he can tell they're in the den and it's close enough that they hear the door close and go quiet. he can hear murmured voices, did you hear that? was that a door? is someone here?

he wishes that he'd checked before flying all the way out. he’s not angry anymore, but he saw oscar leaving the track right after the race and heard he was flying home from someone in the garage and assumed that meant the uk, but now he knows it was here. he also assumed oscar didn’t want to talk to him and that’s why he rushed out, before lando even had the opportunity. he’d spent his break thus far fretting about texting him and seeing if they could meet up to talk, he hasn’t even had time to think about what he would say and now that he’s confronted with it, he doesn’t know what to do or say.

before he can figure out what to do, oscar's stepping into the hall with a baseball bat before freezing, "oh, you're not a burglar." he sounds more bored than relieved if anything, like he was excited to use it.

lando just laughs, "were you- did you plan to take down a burglar with a bat?"

reader comes scrambling from the other room as oscar is inspecting the bat, “lando’s here? did i hear him hating on my bat? i'll have him know my aunt gifted me that and she used it three times, so it definitely works."

the absurdity of it all sends oscar and lando reeling, the idea of an aunt of hers attacking three burglars with an old wooden bat. reader just standing there wondering what is so funny like, "i'm serious. there are dents in it, look!" they laugh even harder, oscar drops the bat to the ground in favor of clutching his stomach. reader picks it up with a huff and stashes it back in the closet. when they finish laughing, most of the tension is gone. it's a little awkward, but lando just says, "i didn't know you were here." and oscar replies, "i didn't know you were coming, we ate all the pizza already." the statement eases lando's worries a bit, like if he'd known he would have saved him some. he doesn't know what that means, but it means something to him.

they just avoid the topic for a bit. oscar and reader tell him there's leftover take out in the fridge and go back to the living room and cozy back up on the couch like they had been. lando eats left overs from the fridge from the arm chair and they catch him up on the show they just started before playing the next episode. lando tells them about the ski trip he was on and the mountain he summitted. eventually, reader falls asleep on oscar and when the episode finishes he gets up to carry her to bed. oscar asks if he's coming to bed before he leaves the room and lando knows things will be okay after they talk.

they're both up before she is the next morning, neither could sleep well with the impending conversation on their minds. lando gets up first when he can’t fall back asleep and deems it early enough to go for a run to clear his head. oscar wakes up sometime after that and sees lando's gone, but before he can worry that lando's left, he notices the open dresser and clothes tossed around and knows he's still around somewhere.

he's cooking breakfast when lando comes home, a full spread of bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, french toast. mostly to give himself something to occupy the time, and something to focus on while he waits for lando to return from wherever. lando wants to talk as soon as he gets home, still sweaty and panting from his run. oscar offers him a glass of water when he sees the state of him and lando gulps it down. before oscar can ask if he wants a refill, lando starts apologizing for everything on his part. every time oscar tries to interrupt, lando cuts him off with a, “wait, i’m almost done!” even though all oscar wants to do is say everything is forgiven and he’s sorry too, and also that he doesn’t need an itemized list of all the things lando is sorry for.

reader wakes up to them joking around while finishing up breakfast and she’s a little anxious going into the kitchen, unsure if they’re avoiding the topic and playing nice for her safe or if they talked finally. oscar sees her walk in and makes his way over to greet her, she gives him a good morning kiss and tries not to wonder if lando’s upset or jealous watching them. before she can think too hard about it, lando’s whining that he didn’t get a kiss. reader thinks he’s whining about her, so does oscar, so they pull apart and she makes grabby hands at lando and coos, “come give me a kiss then” and he mumbles, “meant oscar, but i’ll take what i can get.”

[bropunzeling]

Ratthew and girl!Leon plus baby would be such a fucking nightmare for everyone who has to see/interact with them. They already are when it's just the two of them. But with baby it's sickening. And you know it would be a beautiful baby which just adds insult to injury.

"You don't have to come," Brady says as they wait for the Uber.

Tim rolls his eyes. "Leon invited me," he points out. "Because we're friends. We're like this." He twists his fingers together.

Well, Leon answers more than half of his texts. It got up to nine out of ten when they were at Worlds! Tim figures that counts for a lot.

"And I want to see the baby," Tim continues. "She looks so cute."

"The baby is very cute," Brady admits begrudgingly. "The baby is not the problem."

"What, you're not happy for them?"

"I am!" Brady exclaims, flinging his arms right as the car comes up. "Of course I am! I want Matthew to be happy! But like -- dude, you haven't seen them. You don't know what they're like."

"I was at your wedding," Tim points out as he gets in the Uber. More specifically, he was there when Matthew and Leon snuck out halfway through the dance party, and then fifteen minutes later when they came back in looking extremely rumpled. Leon's expression when Tim told her that her zipper was unhooked was one of the funniest things he'd seen in his life. "And when we went out for dinner last year." That time, he got to tell Matthew he missed a button in his shirt.

"Okay, but like, it's worse now," Brady says as he shuts the car door and the guy starts driving. "I'm just saying. I'm giving you an out."

Tim rolls his eyes again. Like Brady can talk. He's pulling out the kid pictures every practice, even the ones he texted to Tim in the moment. Frankly, Tim thinks it's good for him to get a taste of his own medicine.

When they get to the house, nothing seems out of the ordinary. Matthew lets them in, does the normal hug and backslap song and dance, offers to bring them some beers. "We're getting delivery," he says as he directs them towards the living room like an air traffic controller. "Hope you're in the mood for Thai."

"Thai sounds good," Brady says as they round the corner, and then--

Tim kind of didn't believe it was real, despite the pictorial evidence Brady gets on a daily basis and Tim sees through the power of being nosy. But there's Leon Draisaitl, standing by the fireplace holding an extremely small, extremely cute baby. The baby has a little hat, and a team themed onesie, and a small, cranky expression that’s very reminiscent of when the Sens blocked Leon's attempt at a game winning goal last spring. Even as Tim watches, she yawns hugely and then blinks at the room with enormous blue eyes.

Brady was right. The baby is very cute.

"Hi," Matthew says in a soft voice that Tim has not heard once in his life, Brady and Tim forgotten as he beelines over and wraps an arm around Leon’s waist. "How are my best girls doing?"

Leon looks back at him with a smile and a soppy expression that could cause cavities. It kind of makes Tim want to go get his head checked in case the hit he took in Tampa was worse than he thought.

"Told you," Brady hisses under his breath. "You could have saved yourself."

Then he crosses the living room and says, "So when do I get to hold my niece?"

[mattodore]

coming into who he is later in life than most, julian is no stranger to being asked, "don't you feel like you've already wasted too much time? aren't you worried you won't be able to get what you want?" it's a no-brainer for julian that he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to, but he always gives a measured response to these kinds of questions. he asks, "does the garden snail give up halfway to the leaves? does the giraffe retreat if the tree is too tall? i'm doin' this because it's the only way i can live. i'm doin' this to be me."

julian for @rainymoodlet's kiss me in komorebi bachelor challenge 💕

name: julian lee vance

age: 37 (adult, born may 30th)

traits: ambitious, goofball, neat (+ cheerful and worldly)

aspiration: master chef, julian wants to master and try all kinds of dishes from around the world

height: 5'9" but insists he's gonna grow more if he keeps eating right

background info:

julian went through most of his young adult life doing what he thought was expected from him, so coming into his 30s found him unhappy and lifeless. he needed a change bad. he started simple: every day he was gonna set aside some time from his grueling work as a lawyer to make himself a proper meal—after all, he really needed to lay off the take-out. from there, julian found himself with a real sense of passion for something and he knew it was a source of joy for him that he needed to pursue.

julian married his high school sweetheart, jeannie, straight out of school, but the relationship ended in divorce soon after he turned 21. the long distance between their out-of-state colleges was a natural stressor, but julian realizing he was gay after encountering another man like him at a party blew the whole thing wide open. jeannie freaked out on him and they didn't speak for over a decade. later, when they were both in their early 30s, jeannie messaged him on social bunny to tell him she'd recently come out as a lesbian, and said, "ain't that funny, jules? it's like we were searching for our community the whole time." they've been close ever since.

julian heard the news about daniel taylor coming out and starring in his own show from a friend of a friend. he'd never heard of a dating reality show for men like him before, so he found himself curious and started watching clips from your dad's garage online. six hours into a deep dive on daniel taylor later, he found himself flustered and feeling a little bit silly for crushing on a guy he'd never meet. a week went by and then—drunk on the same wine he was using to make beef bourguignon—he sent a messy, poorly formatted, rambling submission into kiss me in komorebi talking about how much he wants to meet daniel. a little hungover the next morning, he sent a little prayer out thanking every higher power out there that he hadn't sent any selfies or actual identifying information about himself in the application and no one would ever know it was him.

jeannie was the one who sent julian's new and improved application into kiss me in komorebi for him! after he told her about his new crush and the embarrassing application he sent in while wine drunk, she seriously started drafting an application for him then and there. "it'll be good for you," she told him. "And anyway, you're tryin' to be more adventurous, aren't you? isn't this an adventure?" she hit the submit button while sitting beside him, laughing and patting his back while he hid his face.

fun facts:

julian actually loves reality shows! he's just not one for dating shows because he always feels bad for the people who just wanted to find love but got sent packing. his favorite reality shows are the ones where he gets to see people working on their passion craft. cooking, special effects makeup, tattoos, fashion, drag, and recently woodworking... he loves all of it.

julian is big on adventure (a new trait of his!) and is always willing to try new things out at least twice, because everything and everyone deserves a second chance.

anthony bourdain was his biggest inspiration in throwing his law degree to the wind and changing his entire career in his 30s.

middle eastern cuisine is julian's favorite type of food.

his favorite thing to eat is shakshuka, one of the first meals he had at jeannie's house after they reconciled.

the scar on julian's jaw is from a cooking accident when he was just starting out. sometimes you just get a little too overzealous while trying to cut into an egg plant. julian's distaste for egg plants now is basically just a fear response.

julian loves how food brings people together. to him, food is a conversation between cultures, between languages. it's a connection to everyone who came before him and everyone after.

[shayyprasad]

game (headcanon) | clay jensen

a/n: something. i had to post something. (i'm halfway through season three, any requests can only be made in the timeline of season one + two + three! please, no spoilers! (i'll cry.) i wanted to write something, literally anything, to get the creative wheels turning. this is kind of just a starting point for me. italics - clay; normal - ...anyone that isn't clay.

summary: how you and clay became you and clay.

warnings: mostly fluff, some depressive/suic!d@l thoughts (nature of clay), it's 13rw... let's face it, the show tackles some dark stuff.

pairing: fem!reader x clay jensen

word count: 0.79k+ words

-after hannah, clay wasn't great at putting himself out there, especially when it came to girls.

-the biggest thing he'd be worried about was girls. once hannah passed, the main reason he was having trouble was because he was trying to find another hannah.

-clay couldn't help but compare everyone to her.

-it was funny though, because the second he saw you, it was like; who's hannah? the world of "before hannah" and "after hannah" was gone.

-in that moment, when you'd first locked eyes, anything revolving the mere thought of hannah disappeared. he didn't have to think about her, and as selfish as it feels to him, it was refreshing. relieving.

-and you know what? he loved that feeling. he loved the feeling of cloud nine.

-sure, plently of times he'd considered asked you out. and then the thought would hit him like a brick; he's never even said a word to you. how's he going to ask you anything at all, if he can't even utter yet a simple "hi" to you?

-trust me, he tries. clay tries a whole lot. but he'll be inches away, and freeze up.

-part of him is afraid to love again, because what if everything ends up like hannah? like one big repeat? he's not sure if he can live through that again. it was hard enough the first time around.

-eventually, he gives up, choosing to admire you from afar.

-it's luck for him, however, when you're the one to break the ice.

-he remembers it clearly, how you lean over during english lit.

-"clay? do you have any idea what we're doing. because... yeah, i wasn't listening." / "huh? what? oh, uh, yeah- yeah, it's chapters 12-15, questions 1-10."

-he's panicking. you're talking to him.

the second time, you're complaining about your math grade to a friend. he's not even thinking when he blurts out:

-"i can help you. like, tutor you or whatever. i'm pretty good at it." / "wait, really? like, for real?" / "sure."

-clay's non-chalant on the outside, not so much on the inside.

-you seem happy, and instantly, he is too.

-the first thing he does is head into his room, kicking justin out.

-"yeah, okay, well, the adoption papers strongly disagree." / "please? y/n's coming over! i need this to go well." / "y/n? no shit?" / "no shit."

-justin gives in, he's clay's number hypeman anyways. justin lingers in the main house, and then finally wanders to find jessica. that's not clay's concern right now, though.

-it's his room. or more specifically, his shared room. he's freaking out, he hasn't been this nervous since the trial, as he shoves all - i mean all - of justin's crap into the closet, then cleaning up his own.

-he hesisitates over his akr comics, before shoving them in a drawer.

-clay showers, it won't hurt, and spritzes on some of justin's more... masculine colongne.

-half an hour later, there's a knock at the door. he's giddy as he answers it, yet nervous as well.

-"nice house-shed." / "thanks."

-he hopes it a compliment. you're nodding in approval, taking in his room. (shared room.) the little trinkets and trophies.

-and the one akr comic he left out.

-"oh, you read these?" / "y-yeah. i mean, yes. i do. wait- do you?" / no, but my little brother does."

-it's incredible how the conversation flows so smoothly after that.

-after a while, you and him got close. suddenly, it wasn't just study/tutoring sessions, it was hangouts at your place and his.

-everyone thought the two of you were dating, starting with justin.

-he would just be talking to his brother, and it would slip in.

-"how's it going between you and y/n?" / "what's going?" / "dude, you still haven't said anything?" / "there's nothing to say."

-or between his parents:

-"clay, honey, how's your girlfriend? you should bring her over for dinner!" / "we aren't dating, mom." / "really?"

-and more frequently, at school. everyone just assumed you and him were together, and at some point, you stopped correcting them.

-"hey, man, your girlfriend left her jacket in class." / "i'll give it to her."

-somewhere along the line, the difference between dating and not-dating blurred, to the point where you weren't even sure what was going on.

-"hi, not-boyfriend." / "hey, not-girlfriend."

-^became a regular occurence.

-"should we just date? y-you know, because everyone thinks we are... so... it's like-" / "sure." / "okay. wait, really?" / "yeah, why not? i'm suprised it took you this long. i'm literally always flirting with you." / "oh."

-like i said, clay isn't always the best with girls. it doesn't matter though, because you have enough game for the both of them.

[the-therapist-needs-therapy]

Keeper Of The Heart (2)

Pairing : Wen Jun Hui x Reader

Genre : Fluff

Warnings : None

Always And Forever (1)

When you're always getting rejected by your crushes, your best friend decides to do the best thing he could think of; confessing his true feelings so you know that there's someone in the world who cares about you more than a friend.

"Woah, you look terrible," Soonyoung notes, pointing at your face, before scrunching his eyebrows, "Are those eyebags?"

When you had texted Soonyoung to come over at such an hour, his immediate reply was 'Whose body are we hiding?'. Typical Soonyoung.

"Thanks for letting me know something I didn't already know and yes, these are indeed eyebags," you reply. It wasn't every day that your best friend of 7 years confesses. The stress was killing you both internally and externally, causing your current state to be concerning to Soonyoung.

"Is it really that surprising though, Y/n. Jun literally had heart eyes whenever you were around. I still can't believe that you didn't figure it out sooner," Soonyoung was seated on the couch of your living room. Luckily, your roommate wasn't around, or else she would have been scared to death of why there was a hyper active guy and a depressed roommate of hers having a talk about love at 3.00 in the morning. Not a very appealing and appreciated sight to get when you're only trying to get some water.

"I don't understand either. All these years, I have never seen Jun anything more than a friend but his confession got me thinking. Was I just lying to myself about liking someone else? How heartbroken Jun must have felt everytime I told him that I liked someone? All these thoughts are hogging up my brain and I can't even think properly. What should I do Soonie?" Soonyoung didn't reply, seeming to be drowning in his own thoughts.

"He told me to take my time. How long do I need to make him wait? He's been waiting for so long for me. I'm a terrible person"

"Y/n, leave the past. There's nothing to be done about it. What's important now is how you feel about him?"

Silence. You could hear your own heartbeat, as you blink at Soonyoung, processing his question.

What did you truly feel about Wen Jun Hui?

He was crazy but so were you. He had a cute laugh which you had always admired. He had weird and quirky habits that made him stand out of the crowd. He had pretty eyes that almost always seemed to be sparkling.

He cared about you all the time. Your problems were his problems. That's what he told you everytime you went to him for a solution to your never-ending problems.

Why were you so dumb? He was the perfect guy you needed. The prince charming you had hoped for. Joshua, from high school didn't make you as happy as Jun. Minho, whom you confessed to and got rejected by didn't give you the same comfort Jun did. All the guys whom you've liked were nothing compared Jun. While no one loved you for who you were, Jun did.

Blushing and butterflies were something you thought was common in friendships. Truly not.

"I like him, Soonie. I don't know why I never realized it. I have no idea how Jun managed all these years. That's something, Soonyoung. You don't see guys like that these days, do you?"

"Finally, my ship is about to sail. I almost thought that I was going to drown," Soonyoung says and you playfully hit his shoulder, causing him to let out one of his very 'Soonyoung' giggles.

"So, how are you going to tell him? Any plans?"

"I'm going to text him tomorrow. Ask him to meet up. I don't want to waste anymore time. He deserves an answer. He waited for 6 years. Can you believe it? 6 YEARS! I would have given up halfway through the first year," you say.

Soonyoung smiles and pretends to wipe tears from his eyes.

"I've told you before. You guys are soulmates," those words from him make you blush.

Soonyoung continues, "You're love trope is kind of cliché, though. I mean one person pining for so many years and another one never realizing it, what is this? A k-drama?"

A sudden thought rushes through your mind and your face darkens.

"What if he thinks I'm using him?"

Soonyoung gives you an exaggerated look.

"You see, Y/n. You guys are best friends. Best friends don't think of each other like that"

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ- ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

'I'm nervous,' you text Soonyoung, as you wait for Jun at the newly opened cafe in your town. The smell of freshly baked cakes and bread wasn't really helping your churning stomach. Even your usual caramel latté wasn't digesting.

'I'll disown you if you run away from there, Y/n. I swear,' not the most endearing reply, but it made you stay at your seat.

The bells of the cafe jingle, making you look up from your phone.

Was Jun always that handsome?

His eyes were sparkly as usual and he had his movie-worthy smile on, which made butterflies explode in your stomach. A warm shade of red sets itself on your cheeks.

His eyes spot you and with pink dusting his cheeks, he takes a seat in front of you.

"Hello, Y/n. You wanted to talk?" he seemed normal. There wasn't even a hint if shyness in his tone. Was it because he was used to covering it up? Or because he had moved on? You silently prayed it wasn't because of the latter possiblity.

"Yeah. I don't know how to say this bu-" you get cut off by Jun.

"It's okay, Y/n. If you don't like me, that's totally fine. Let's just be friends like how we used to be," he says and you almost want to giggle at his slightly sad face but that's just cruel.

"No, Jun. It's not that. I had a hard time thinking so I talked to Soonyoung about it. It made me realize- realize how much you really mean to me," you see his eyebrows raise up in curiosity. Cute.

"What I mean is, I really like you. Heck, I might be in love with you. I really want to thank you for not giving up on your feelings for me"

A grin immediately appears on Jun's face and you couldn't help but smile as well.

"So that means-"

"That means I'll be your girlfriend, silly"

Those words just came out so easily from your mouth.

"I'm glad, Y/n. I'm so glad"

"But, you have to be careful," Jun's face scrunches up in confusion.

You take his hand in yours and place it on your chest.

"As you know, this is my heart and it's currently beating very fast because of the presence of a very cute person. But, it's very fragile. It had been broken a few times before. It's your job to keep it safe. You understand?"

Jun's grin reappears but even wider. The warmth on his cheeks become more visible.

"In that case, you have to take care of mine too. It's been painfully single for too long"

"I have a question"

"Yes?"

"Will you break up with me if I tell you that you currently look like a Cheshire cat?"

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ- ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

[sere-rine]

F.T.a.J.K.M

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem Reader.

A/N: This story is originally written from my wattpad account. This is from my Middle-aged actresses oneshot imagines. (I added the link if you wanna check it out)

Warnings: Angst but with Fluff ending. {GIFS NOT MINE}

Y/n's POV

"Y/n! You'll do great." My PA says to me before I go up on stage. I thanked her and proceed to face the thousand crowds who is here to listen to my music live and support me.

I've been dreaming for this concert since i was 14. Now that i'm 26, it's happening.

With a big smile i started my first song and the second and the third until halfway through my fourth song I started to walk around the stage. I can somewhat see the people on the front row. I'm trying to hold their hands and making them sing some parts.

One person caught my eye. There are a lot of people i'm expecting but not her. She is watching me intently and luckily I didn't mess up my song. I finished it and gone back to the center of stage.

I talked to the crowd and thank god their not yet sick of me.

"This next song is very special to me. This was not supposed to be a part of the album but then 'things' happened and this song was born. This is for the person that I loved the most, until now!"

I breathlessly said to the crowd while fixing my guitar. I found her again and now I don't know if she gets it but yes, this song is for her.

'Line Without A Hook'

By: Ricky Montgomery

(Changed some of the lyrics, i copied it from tiktok so credits to the one who changed it)

~I don't really give a damn about the way you touch me

When we're alone

You can hold my hand

If no one's home~

"Liz are you still afraid?"

"Y/n what you're asking is easier said than done!"

"Why? Why is it so hard for you to tell the people that you love me? It's been two years Liz."

"Y/n I want privacy, I want our relationship to be private."

~Do you like it when I'm away?

If I went and hurt my body, baby

Would you love me the same?

I can feel all my bones coming back

And I'm craving motion~

"The relationship we have right now is a Secret Relationship, not a private one. You are hiding me from the world! You are hiding your love to me from the eyes of everyone!"

"Is what I'm doing is not enough?"

"You are enough! You will never be not enough, but I want to hold your hand when we're outside, kiss you whenever I want! And I want the world to know that I am Elizabeth Olsen's."

~Mama never really learns how to live by herself

It's a curse

And it's growing

You're a pond and I'm an ocean~

"Liz, just tell me the truth please. Do you even love me?"

"What are you saying? Ofcourse I love you! I love you more than anything?"

"Then tell me why? Just tell me your fucking reason, damn this!"

~Oh, all my emotions

Feel like explosions when you are around

And I've found a way to kill the sounds, oh~

"I'm afraid! Alright I Am Scared! Y/n I'm afraid of what would my parents will think of me! Of what would the world will think of me!"

"There it is! Is that it? Is that your only reason?"

"..."

"You love me Lizzie, and I don't doubt that. But you don't love me more than your fear."

"Y/n..."

"Liz, tell me. When are you going to be not afraid of the world? Do you want me to wait for you until you're ready? If you want me to wait... Then tell me until when am I going to wait?"

~Darling, when I'm fast asleep

I've seen this person watching me

Saying, "Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Tell me, is it worth it?"~

"Y/n I LOVE YOU with all my heart and soul but please, don't hurt yourself for someone just like me. My parents arranged me a marriage, I'll be marrying him next month."

"Him?"

"Yes, a Him. Go, I'm letting you go, find someone who can love you openly and is not afraid of the world!"

~Guess there is something, and there is nothing

There is nothing in between

And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer

Watching over me~

"I Love You Liz! And just so you know? I'm still willing to wait for you! I hope that he loves you more than I love you."

~I'm singing

"She's a, she's a lady, and I am not a boy"

I'm singing, "She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a line without a hook~

I didn't notice the tears in my eyes while I'm reminiscing and singing now. The pain, disappointment, and the wish that i have. Oh, how I wish to be a man for her to love me freely. I didn't once doubt her love for me, but I know from the start, that her fear? Her fear is the one that will break us. Am i wrong?

I am so so jealous on the privileges that a straight couple have. Sometimes I think i'm on a wrong body. But no, I love being a female! I love that i can wear dresses and suits, i love being a feminine. Besides that is the reason she fell inlove with me in the first place.

Come to think of it, will she notice me if I am a male?

...

I was about to finish the song when she climbed up on the stage. The guards are running after her while she's running into my direction.

I'm shocked, what is she doing? My song was interrupted when she just hugged me out of nowhere. The guards are about to pull her away from me but I hugged her tight and I shoved the guards away.

The warm that her hugs can give me is so out of this world. I missed her presence, her smell, the feeling of her body on mine. The familiarity that she brings me is so divine!

She pulled away and faced me. Her green orbs is still as hypnotising as ever. Though it's full of tears, she still has the most beautiful eyes in the universe.

"Y/n I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you and I love you more than anything, please can you forgive me? Give me one last chance to make it up to you!"

Our hands are on each other's cheeks and we're both looking intently on each other's eyes. I wiped her tears with my thumb and nod!

"Ofcourse, I told you, I'll wait for you."

She smiled and crashed her lips into mine but I pulled away remembering something.

"But Lizzie, the crowd? And we are live world wide!"

Her eyebrows cocked and if she is an animation, her eyes right now will be on fire.

"Fuck . Them . and . Just . Kiss . Me!"

[evanpeterscoffeemachine]

Calum x reader where they’re either having a nice time with their friends or the reader is taking care him somehow and he accidentally says he loves her but then gets all awkward

SAY YOU LOVE ME

Pairings : f!reader x Calum hood Warnings : I haven't mentioned age gap anywhere so there's only pure fluff

Y/n had some friends over at her house for a small gathering, party kind of a thing. Calum's friends had also come over to her house.

The pair had been dating for 4 months and thought to introduce each other's friends to them at a nice party. They liked each other so much it was amlost unreal. They hadn't met each other's parents because they weren't dating for that long.

There was light music in the background of her house. Her couch was occupied, kitchen had the booze and food was on its way. He room was upstairs so no one went there but the house wasn't so crowded because there were around 12 people there. Y/n was standing in her living room and acting host asking if everyone was having a nice time when they told her to relax and they all liked each other enough to talk. She started talking to Luke and Sierra when one of her friends joined in a chatter.

"I don't know when was the last time I saw her this glowing. I mean there is a definitely a glow on her face. She looks happy with Calum."

Turning to her friend she said, "Y/n, I approve."

All four of them laughed lightly when Luke chimed in and said, "Yes I agree with you y/f/n. I mean Cal is the guy in the band who is the anti love dude but this lady right here has him in some spell." He said while raising his drink in his hand, giving a soft smirk. "Cal is happy Y/n", said Sierra. They all started talking about their work and how that made her happy too.

She noticed a soft touch on her arm and looked back to find brown eyes.

"Hey Cal, where were you?

"Oh well, mum had called so I was just talking to her"

He joined in the circle of friends and started talking when the bell rang to her house. She walked to the front door to see what interrupted the party. She saw a food delivery guy at the door and thanked him because she was getting a little impatient because the food took so much time arriving. She took the food, paid the person and walked towards the kitchen annoucing the food was there. The kitchen was getting flooded slowly when Calum came in and snatched the stack of plates from her.

"No no. Leave it. They'll take food on their own love"

"Cal, they're my guests. What a host would I be if I'm not atleast putting down the cutlery on the table?" she gave him a knowing look.

He moved a little away from her. Luke was standing at the kitchen table when he said, "Yeah Yeah y/n it's okay. We'll be fine".

She looked at the two of them and laughed and told them to shut up and muttered what Calum heard you're both idiots. He started helping her and Luke aimed at the food which made the three laugh.

She bended a little over at the table and her hair followed. Calum pushed her bangs behind her ears and felt so deep in love. He was sure he was going to say it.

He thought he was alone when he said, "I love you y/n."

Luke's food was halfway in her mouth. Y/n stopped in her tracks and looked at him. "What?"

Poor Calum got so flustered at her simple question that he felt his entire world crumble at his feet and saw himself going back to the statement of love being a scam.

"Huh? What?" he looked at her all puzzled like a small boy who attended his first day at school.

"No wait. Go back. What did you say?"

"What did I say?"

"Calum"

"Y/n..?"

"Wait. For real? You love me?"

"Uh. What when did I say that? No. I mean what? No wait Y/n"

She lost all her patience with him when he said that. She was so shocked to hear him but it was such a cute moment. It didn't matter if Luke was present. To them, it was so intimate a moment.

"So you don't love me?" she felt a part of her being torn away as if a child's first attempt of colouring goes awry.

"No I do. I do love love. What am I saying? ugh" He ran his hand and massaged lightly onto his face. He turned towards her, when he saw Luke who was by the way, still in shock.

"Dude, what?" He asked him when he left the couple alone.

"I love you Y/n. I'm soi am in love in love with you sorry. I got flustered and I didn't know how would you react. But i know that. I love you."

He confessed.

"Oh Cal" she cupped his face lightly and he leaned in her touch. "I love you too. But i gotta say, you almost gave me a heart attack when you said no." She tapped his arm and he chuckled.

"Well, i'm glad we're finally on the same page baby. I love you lady."

They couldn't stop making heart eyes at each other the entire night. They went to bed wine drunk, half naked and all loved up. He stayed the night and dreamt of staying there for a longer time.

But wait, one step at a time.

[qzwrites]

I was thinking about RPG protagonists and their families, and also war widows, and I thought...damn, I sure set Taryn's mom up for a depressing couple of decades. Her husband goes off to fight the Demon Lord and just never returns. Their child follows in his footsteps as soon as she's old enough.

Like, I'm sure you don't marry an adventurer without knowing this is a possibility, but...damn.

Taryn's family situation owes a lot to Dragon Quest III, and honestly, thinking about that poor woman who married Ortega and then raised Loto and then was cut off from her child by the worlds separating again...it's rough!

This is in second person because I didn't want to think of a name but also it works well imo.

*

You were pregnant but not far enough along to know it when the ground shook. Over the next week, magic storms washed over the castle town where you lived. No one was too surprised when the news finally arrived from the north that the Hell Gate had been forced open.

You had married an adventurer, knowing he would spend a great deal of time traveling. But you had married an adventurer in ordinary times, when he would still come home between quests. You didn't expect your husband to go haring off halfway around the world shortly after your child was born.

But you'd known who he was when you married him. He was not only an adventurer, he was a hero who had made a name for himself always going where he was needed. Helping people, fighting monsters, breaking curses. He would have been a different person entirely if he could have heard the news of the man who broke open the Hell Gate calling himself the Demon Lord and not set off to stop him.

Your daughter favors you physically, but there can be no doubt she is your husband's child. She takes an interest in swordsmanship and playing adventurer early, and she's so proud when she talks about her father.

You get letters, infrequently. Packages even more rarely. He sends anniversary gifts and birthday presents at first, but those taper off as he goes further afield. You don't even recognize the village the last note comes from. Your daughter asks everyone in the town, and eventually finds it in an old atlas in the castle library; it's on a continent you barely knew existed. Not the one the Hell Gate is on. Your daughter wonders why he would be there, but you know how your husband is, even if it's been years since you've seen him, and you don't wonder at all.

There is a long gap between that last note and the next you hear of your husband. In old stories, people can tell the moment their loved ones die, no matter how far apart they are, but the reality is much worse. The certainty creeps up on you as the silence drags out. There is no day where you know he is still alive followed by a day you know he is dead; there is only the gnawing sense that no news is not good news when it comes to quests of this magnitude.

You stare up at the sky instead of watching your daughter drill with the castle guards, and think about how the earth shook and those magic storms swept across the sky when the Hell Gate was opened. Even on the other side of the world, you knew something important had happened. Would killing the Demon Lord and closing the Hell Gate not have equal effects? Would your husband give up and return home when it became apparent this challenge was too much for even him?

When you receive the royal summons, you pull your mourning clothes out of storage. You don't put them on for the visit to the king, but you lay them out for your return. You hope, pointlessly, that you are wrong about this meeting with the king, but you cannot make yourself believe it.

Your daughter is old enough now that she is angry at her father for doing this to you. You try not to be comforted by the pre-pubescent indignation of your child, but being a quest widow was never as nice as being a hero's wife. Your own parents died, victims of the increased monster activity in outlying areas, and your husband's father forgot who you were, the way some old people forgot everything. You have been effectively alone for so long, having your child upset on your behalf feels like the only kind thought anyone has had for you in years.

The king tells you solemnly that the Eastern Outpost sent word west, asking if your husband was still on his way, months after he left the nearest city. Somewhere between Domla and the Eastern Outpost, your husband disappeared, like so many other travelers. The king tries to tell you your husband might still be alive, and you shake your head.

Your daughter never tells you she is going to finish what her father started, but you know it. You manage to convince her to wait until she's old enough to join the Adventurer's Guild properly, for what support that will offer on her journey. You successfully guilt the king into giving her an allowance for equipment.

Then you watch your baby girl set aside the rest of her childhood in favor of training to follow in her doomed father's footsteps.

The king feels guilty enough for suggesting your husband track down the Demon Lord to grant you an income. A widow's pension, really. It means you are comfortable, and don't have to take as many tapestry commissions anymore. It means you will have a place to live when your daughter also leaves you on the mad quest to repair the hole in the world.

When your daughter turns nineteen and sets out on her journey, you pull your mourning clothes out of storage once again. You are not going to wait until the letters stop coming this time. Even if she survives--even if she succeeds--you need to mourn the childhood she didn't get to have, because you know she will not, and she would not understand why she should.

She didn't go alone, at least. You managed to impress upon her how stupid an idea that was. Even before the Demon Lord wrenched open the Hell Gate, solo adventurers were the exception. Smart adventurers traveled in at least pairs. Your daughter left with two companions, neither of whom were local, but the Adventurer's Guild representative assured you they were in good standing with the Guild, and you have to hope these two strangers will protect your baby. Protect your baby, or at least ensure she doesn't die alone.

You open up the windows of your workroom to let in the light, and watch the sky instead of weaving your tapestries.