#if you have a different one than me i am willing to listen and respect !!!

[batlovestomarry]

A portion of my thoughts on the tomarry t/b discussion going on since probably forever, as a bottom!tom lover

I want to start this off by saying I am asexual. I’ve certainly become more okay with reading smut over the past year, but because of my asexuality (and my slightly less resolute but still prevalent sex repulsion as well as my incomprehension of people’s shockingly stubborn preferences (that I have no issue with, but for obvious, previously stated reasons, I don’t fully understand)), my experience with seeing and interacting with all sides of the fandom, and my general lack of care for who is topping or who is bottoming in general, I can approach this topic with some semblance of rationality that isn’t affected by, you know, a staunch opinion on something that people are as passionate about as sex. This is an opinion that I haven’t always held, because prior to FULLY joining the tomarrymort fandom (to be more specific: being active on social media and meeting people who prefer either dynamic), I didn’t even have an opinion on it. I didn’t even know t/b discourse EXISTED. This is an opinion I have gained after seeing many many many people from both sides discussing it, so to anyone who disagrees with my opinion miss me with that “oh, well you’re just biased from only interacting with one side of the fandom and having always enjoyed bottom!tom” bullshit, lmfao.

That being said, it is abundantly clear that the issue for some people is more than just “untagged dynamics” as they insist. To this insistence I have two things to say: 1. If you are so bothered by one sex scene in the midst of a 200,000 word, novel length, beautifully written with a beautiful plot MASTERPIECE, perhaps don’t read untagged fics. Simple as that! Authors don’t owe you anything. 2. You know so damn well that your issue isn’t just untagged dynamics (which often only happen when authors are simply UNSURE about what they’re going to write in the future, rather than a desire to make fixed shippers angry and to fish for interactions and are NOT a personal attack or “protest” against tagging, contrary to what many believe).

Are you threatened by twink Tom riddle???? Are you disgusted by the concept of big strong masculine Tom being railed senseless ? Just asking the essential questions.

Furthermore, I see many fandom members persisting in the idea that non-fixed shippers call fixed shippers misogynists and that’s why “we” “start discourse” with fixed shippers (I am using the term “non-fixed shippers” to mean basically anyone who enjoys bottom!tom, because, regardless of whether you’re a fixed!bottom!tom shipper or not, it’s easier to do it this way. apologies for the generalization shdkdhdjdjd). There are many other posts that talk about this topic in much greater detail than I ever could, and I have to admit I’m not educated about the history and nuances of this to talk about it, so I’m just going to say that I genuinely do not give a fuck if you like bottom Harry or bottom Tom. I could not care less. I enjoy both. I’m not here to preach about whether it’s misogyny to prefer one thing another or not, because I simply don’t know. However, what I do know is that this whole thing about “bottom!tom enjoyers calling fixed bottom harries misogynistic” is a classic case of an echo chamber!! Non-fixed-shippers aren’t getting angry and upset at fixed shippers because you guys like bottom harry (which, according to them, is something we call a “misogynistic concept”!! who would have known!! i certainly didn’t know we were doing that!!). I haven’t honestly seen any instances of that. No, people are upset because you make “call-out” posts about authors and fics and blogs to say “oh, this fic/author is Bad Horrible Bad Bad because they didn’t tag t/b”, talk shit about people who mind their own business preferring bottom Tom (which can go both ways, but I see content from every side of the fandom and I have noticed that the non-fixed shippers side only really has an issue when the fixed shippers come in and start being senselessly rude. This irrational anger at those who have different preferences than you does tend to come from one side more than the other), and obtain a victim type mentality when an author of a long-form is either unsure about dynamics or just… doesn’t feel it’s necessary to tag. It’s as if certain people have a distorted view of what everyone is ACTUALLY upset about. No, we don’t care if you like Harry James Potter with a cock up his ass. As a matter of fact, I can say a lot of us do enjoy seeing that too!

I genuinely would like anyone to direct me to an instance of a non-fixed shipper calling out a fixed shipper over something that ISN’T retaliation for something ridiculous or simply mean a fixed shipper said about people just minding their business. Some people walk around here talking shit about anything that even dares to whisper the words “bottom Tom riddle” to their cultish circle of friends, calling them “freaks of nature”, “insane”, “detached from reality”, and “stupid bitches” (to name a few examples I’ve read). It is insanity. Some people just live in permanent delusion and insist that they are the poor victims here and that they can do no wrong and that they’re just “minding their business 🥺” enjoying their bottom!Harry yet FREAK OUT when they come across a bottom!tom fic/artwork/enjoyer who never even INTERACTED with them and act like they committed a grave sin of humanity.

In general, I feel it is just SILLY to get so fed up over seeing bottom Tom. the reaction that some people in this fandom have when they see anything that insinuates bottom Tom would make you think the person who created the art murdered 12 people and buried their bodies In a coal mine. It is ridiculous. Your inability to see past someone’s preferences and automatically labeling someone as “annoying” or “weird” over a fictional dynamic is bewildering.

I would like to say that this is not to resurrect any discourse!!! Nor is it meant with any disrespect to ANYONE in this entire fandom. I am appreictaive of every person here, whether I know you or not, because I love the tomarry fandom and I love how much effort artists and writers and everyone in between puts into keeping the ship alive! This isn’t intended as a target to ANYONE. I’m simply giving my opinion that I’ve held in for a long while now.

To sorta summarize:

Authors don’t owe you a certain dynamic or a certain tag in their own fic that they dedicated time, love, and care into.

Talking shit about people existing and enjoying different things than you is embarrassing behavior and makes you appear 14 years old to observers.

Public call-out posts for specific people doing absolutely nothing to you are weird as hell. Like why is this considered a normal thing to do.

Some people in this fandom have entitlement levels that are OFF THE CHAAARTTSSSS.

Telling people to “go outside and talk to actual gay people” over what is not “just t/b dynamics and/or preferences” but is actually normal, real life people being upset that you dragged their name through the dirt all because they posted once or twice about liking a certain character bottoming reeks of a lack of awareness. The moment a non-fixed shipper calls someone out for sending dozens of people to harass them over having a preference, millions of silly think pieces are created and non-fixed shippers are seen as “whiny”, but it’s somehow okay when the fixed shippers do it over much less?? 😭??? The hypocrisy!

How do I get it through people’s heads that NOBODY! OWES! YOU! ANYTHING!!! Everything that I’ve said has already been said time and time again and yet it still isn’t sinking in for many. You aren’t a god, you aren’t more important than anyone else here, you aren’t entitled to automatic perfect tagging on every fic you read. You don’t have to like it, but it’s the reality. There many tropes that people dislike in fics, but usually what they tend to do when it surprises them in an untagged fic is skip and move on with their lives rather than sending nasty anonymous messages, writing criticizing comments, tweeting about how much you hate this one untagged thing and everyone who enjoys this one untagged thing, etc etc

[zeltqz]

the ask was for a sanzu x fem reader nsfw and they’re both getting high together in the car and they do the thing where they bloke smoke in each other’s most and one things leads to another. But I thought it would be funny of on the middle of their sesh, ran calls and idk you could decide if he answers or not. Lol

— mile high club

ø contents: smoking, smut, possessiveness, fluff, takeomi slander ish bc i hate the mf, friends to lovers, mutual oblivious pining, akashi brothers' mentioned beefing

o word count : 7.1k.

ø notes: is it even a sanzu fic if i dont include some sort of tension and psychological explanation to do with the neglect he faced from Takeomi? no? ok anyway...

@wenumsmol 🫶🏾

The sun sets over the streets of Tokyo when you park the car in the garage of the Akashi household, having dropped Haru off at home since you’re now his designated driver because his license got suspended for reckless driving.

“We’re here.” The car shuts off when you turn the key, both hands resting on the wheel like the professional, respectable driver you are. “Now get out of my car.”

Sanzu groans from the backseat, laying flat on his back, hand splayed over his forehead, the cold heat from his hands doing wonders to soothe his burning headache. 

“Oi.” Over your shoulder, you peek at him, fighting the urge to poke him awake. “I said we’re here.”

“I know.”

“ So…get out?”

“I don’t wanna.”

“You don’t—” You bite your words, stopping yourself to give yourself time to take a deep breath, soothing your bubbling frustration before it erupts. “You don’t want to enter your own house?”

He raises a long, slender finger, pointing insistently out the window. You follow his gaze to the back corner of the garage, Takeomi’s bike perched on its stand. 

“Ohhh,” you realise, unbuckling your seatbelt to turn and face him fully. “Well..you can’t avoid him forever.”

He removes his hand from his forehead, eyebrows knitted, forehead creased as he glares at you. “Watch me.”

“I’m serious, Haru.”

“So am I.” He’s sitting up, face stern and serious, you swear his green eyes practically glow in the dark as they catch the edge of the yellow tint garage light. 

When it comes to Takeomi, Haruchiyo mainly plans on avoiding him at all costs, dodging him around the house, wearing headphones at full volume just to drown out the sound of his brother’s voice, not coming back home for days on end, rather spending the night at yours or Mikey’s house.

He’s developed different coping mechanisms : talking to Mikey is a big help, though Mikey isn’t one for therapeutic advice, he’s still willing to lend a helping ear and listen to Haruchiyo rant on and on. It’s not much help though, only hearing responses like ‘ hm ’ , ‘ oh ’, and ‘ah’,  maybe if Mikey has a little energy left in him, he’d nod occasionally, but that’s about as much help as you’d get. 

His second coping mechanism is you,  someone he’d befriended a couple months back and kept you by his side secretly ever since, using you as a personal chauffeur and a therapist, but more importantly a best friend. Someone who’d be there for him without judging him and his dirty secrets; someone who likes to be around him not because they’re scared or intimidated, but because they enjoy his presence. 

He cannot be in the right state of mind when talking to his brother, not wanting to remember their interactions in the morning, so he relies on getting stoned or drunk to wipe his memory. It’s a potentially dangerous mechanism, but Sanzu enjoys the adrealine rush of trying something new, enjoys the out of body experiences, the fuzzy feelings, the wild imaginations and visions that make his world look colourful rather than monochromatic. 

“Haru.” You call his name with that sweet voice of yours, one that makes his heart warm. “You can talk to me about anything, okay? I’m always gonna be here for you.” 

He’s looking down at his lap, mouth twisted in a way he always does when he’s deep in thought. You can’t help but wonder just what’s going through that brain of his, knowing fully that up there is a mess of unorganised feelings and emotions he’d never been able to fully process.

“Haru. Is everything oka—”

“You know what I want?” He cuts you off, changing topics with a bright smile. 

His decision to switch topics isn’t something that offends you, knowing that he takes time to fully open up and you’re willing to wait as long as he needs. “What do you want, Haru?”

“I want weed.”

“There’s no weed, wait. What are you doin—” He moves quickly, his lean body brushing past yours, balancing a hand on your lap for leverage as he reaches inside the glove compartment pulling out his stash. “What the hell! You stashed your crap in my car?!”

“Of course I did.” He cackles at the dumbfounded look on your face, moving to the backseat. “Where else would I put it?”

“Uh—I don’t know? Your room? Anywhere but my damn car! I got pulled over the other day. What if I had gotten caught and they searched my car?”

“Did you?” He shrugs half heartedly, opening the ziplock bag. Almost instantly the car smells of marijuana, your nose wrinkles as you try to process it. 

“Well, no…but that’s not the point!”

“Shhhh,” he shushes you, taking his time to roll his blunt, all the while you’re glaring at him. “Stop pouting. You should be thanking me.”

“For what?”

“This.” He licks the joint to seal it, lifting it towards you like it’s his artistic masterpiece. The smile on his face screams child proud of their school project, diamond scars stretching cutely as his smile only widens. “It’s strong. Try it.”

“It better be.” You snatch it from his hands, holding it between your teeth as you manouevr yourself to the backseat to seat beside him. 

His chin is heavy on your shoulder as he watches you light it, wanting to be as close to you as possible not only to get a whiff of that perfume he loves that you practically drown yourself in, but to see your initial reaction to the weed. 

The smoke burns your throat before you could fully inhale, coughing violently whilst pounding on your chest to ease it. Haruchiyo grabs water from the front, tossing it to your lap as you erupt in a series of coughs. “What is that?” 

“I dunno.” He eyes the joint between his two fingers, looking oddly fascinated by it. “I just heard it was strong.”

“No shit.” It hurts when you talk, still feeling the ghost of smoke searing your oesphagus. 

His spare hand hooks onto your legs, and you yelp as he swings them over on his lap, slender fingers rubbing up and down your thigh as he smokes. “You’ll get used to it.”

“I don’t wanna.” You shift upwards on the seats, sitting on his lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to rest your forehead against the side of his face and shoulder. The scent of his cologne is overpowered by the marjiuana, but it’s still visible, dipping your face between his neckline and sighing. “This one is too much.” 

“Are my eyes red?” His jaw moves when he speaks, and it tickles as his smooth skin brushes against your cheek.

It pains you to move from your current position, his warmth and scent are soothing to you, but you shift back, turning the car lights on to see better. The corners of his eyes are red, and he’s struggling to keep them fully open. 

“Yeah, they are.” The urge to brush his cheeks is tempting, and your fingers twitch and hesitate by your side.

“Hey hey, wanna see somethin’ cool?” When you nod, he shifts upwards, his hand grabbing to hold onto your waist to ground you before you slip off his lap. 

The sudden contact had you stiffening, blood roaring in your ears as his strong hand held your side. You watch him perform a trick, his diaphragm contracting as he inhales, lips pursed as he exhales, several rings of smoke following suit. Your brows raise in surprise, ready to praise him when he sucks it all back in with one huge breath, the rings dismantling in the air. 

He turns back to look at you, chin high in the air, eyes tinted red gleaming as he grins at you, cheerful and animated. You can’t help it, reaching out to cup his soft cheeks with one hand, tracing over the outline of his lips, the shape of his scars with your thumb. 

It’s like he’s frozen stiff as your fingers feel up his face, and he blinks at you as you look at him with those soft eyes of yours. “You’re so cute, Haru.”

His eyes dilate; from the light in the car, or the strong weed you don’t know, can’t tell. What you can tell is that from his silence, his mind is running wild, thoughts bouncing across his brain from left to right, mirroring the way his eyes dart over your face, your lips, and the curve of your nose.

“So are you.” The words spill out from his lips faster than the blush creeps onto his cheeks. He looks away, embarrassed, clearing his throat before smoking from the joint again. “I learnt it from Ran. That useless lazy fucker is sometimes helpful.”

“Ran, huh?” Your fingers find themselves latched to the front strands of his hair tucked into a ponytail, twirling it on your fingertips. “He’s the tall one, right?”

He chuckles, short and amused, voice muffled from the joint between his lips. “All my friends are tall, ya know?”

“Well maybe if you let me around your friends, I’d be able to identify them.”

“You’ll live without ‘em,” he says, blowing smoke in your face, snorting when you cough and swat the smoke away, then try to hit the side of his face, only for him to catch your hand in time. “Your reflexes suck ass.”

You struggle to shift your hand from his grip, frowning at him. “I’m not a ninja.”

“I can teach you to be one.” 

“You a sensei, now?”

“I’m anything and everything. Like Batman.” 

He smiles when you laugh softly, the sound making him feel lightheaded, paired along with the weed flowing through his veins. “Batman is rich, though. You’re not.”

“I can steal money, all is good.” His hand, warm and hot, slides under the hem of your shirt, leaving a searing trail behind his movements that burns into your skin. “I’ll buy you anything once I get rich. Promise.”

He’s been subtly leaning closer as he speaks the whole time, but you don’t notice until his forehead brushes yours and you’re both staring at each other, daring the other to move closer.  “ Anything? ”

Green eyes fall down to your lips, not even trying to look subtle. “Anything.”

Fuck, at this angle you look so pretty, staring down at him with those dreamy eyes of yours, looking at him like he’s the most precious thing in the world. He always feels like that around you, another reason why he loves getting high around you. It forces him to be vulnerable around you, letting the feelings he’s been shovelling down refsurface.

Though it’s risky, and there’s nothing more he fears than rejection, he’s always been a risk taker. You make him feel good with your words, your presence, your voice, the silly moments you two share alone in his car, your room, his room. 

Your lips are what he favours the most on your face, always glossy with whatever flavour lipbalm you wear that day, and he physically fights the urge to kiss them just to guess it. His eyes are drawn towards your lips like a magnet. The way you bite at them when you’re focused, chew on the skin when you’re nervous, lick them when they’re dry, he notices, and wonders how soft they truly are.

“Do…do you wanna kiss me?” Your question catches him off guard, brows knitting in confusion as he wonders if he’s been speaking his thoughts aloud this entire time, but in truth, he’s been making his intentions obvious as he’s been staring at nothing but your lips the entire time.

“Huh? Don’t be weird.” He instantly facepalms himself mentally, fighting the urge to turn back time to take back his words, but it’s too late when your brows rise, lips parting slightly in surprise before looking down at your lap with a slight frown.

“Oh, sorry. That was weird, wasn’t it?”

“It’s fine.” His heart stings in his chest, he can feel it clenching painfully leaving nothing but a hollow feeling in the depths of his stomach when he realises you’re upset. “Why’d you ask that anyway?”

Maybe he can shift the narrative, find out a way to spin the conversation back to kissing. He still has a chance. “Have you never kissed anyone before?”

“I have!” The pout is back on your face, but not from being sad; he can tell the difference, so he sighs in relief. But still…the way your lower lip juts out slightly has him fighting the urge to tug and bite at it. “I’m not a virgin, idiot.”

He doesn’t bother trying to hide the surprise on his face, and you notice. “What? It’s that hard to believe someone would fuck me? Am I that ugly or something?” 

The effects of the weed start kicking in,  now you feel yourself getting emotional over nothing.

“I never even said anything.” 

“You didn’t need to. I’m not stupid, Haru.”

He flexes his jaw as he glares at you, trying to shovel his anger down. The argument is pointless, so he stays silent, bringing the blunt back to his lips. He inhales it for longer this time, and it can’t possibly be healthy for his lungs, but he doesn’t care.

“What time is it?” you ask, and his hand squeezes your waist tighter, stopping you from squirming from his lap.

“Why do you need the time?”

“Because I gotta get going at seven.”

“...why ?”

“Because…” you chirp, shifting to face him with a huge smile on your face, “I’ve got a date.” 

When you bite down on your lip, he can’t even be bothered to look down at it, or notice it. It’s silent in the car as you wait for Haru to be your best friend/wingman that hypes you, ask you for his name, height, age, job, personality, whatever. But he’s silent, face unreadable, and the tension in the car rises thick when he continues to stay silent; your excitement fades along with your smile.

He knows he’s been silent for too long, now everything is awkward, but he can’t find the right words to say. Congratulations? It’s just a date, what do you expect him to do? Find you wedding rings? 

His brain isn’t co-operating either, not in the right state of mind to process his words like a filter, so he says nothing before he says something he’ll regret.

“...Anyway,” you have to choke your words out, refusing to show your slight embarrassment, “hurry up and get high, so I can leave and get laid.”

“I am high.”

“Then I can leave.”

“No, you can’t.” He glares back when you glare at him, but he can’t find it in himself to control himself any longer. Maybe it was a bad idea to get high in a confided space with you, on his lap, with your face so close to his. 

“Why can’t I?”

“...’cause he’s a loser, and you don’t wanna get laid by a loser.”

You snort. “He’s the only loser available, so maybe I do want to.”

“What if…there’s another loser available?” He goes stiff and still when your eyes flick up to his face, looking concentrated at him eye to eye as if you were trying to decipher his words. “Me. I’m the loser.”

“You?” He simply nods and you do the opposite and shake your head. “You’re not a loser.”

“Yeah, I am.” You shift on his lap when he shrugs, leaning his head back against the headrest, and you watch as smoke leaves his lips as he exhales. 

His senses are intensified with the drugs, your fingers tickling their way up his shoulders, along his neck, to behind his head, lacing them between his soft hair. Leaning down, you hold his face in your hands and kiss him.

The moment your lips touch his, he feels like the world paused, and he’s dying to find whoever has control over the remote of his life so they could press play and he could embrace you like he deserves. Or, maybe he’s dying, and whoever is up there allows him to imagine just one night with you before he fades into nothing.

It’s real, all real. The tender slide of your lips against his are real, the sensation of his teeth sinking into your soft plump lips, biting, and nibbling at it is real, the gentle moans he eagerly draws from your lips when his tongue swipes against yours, wet, messy and sloppy is real. 

“Fuck—” you whisper along the swell of his lips, pulling away to examine his face.

He looks gone, shallow half-lidded eyes looking up at you with blown wide pupils, mouth half open as if he’s forgotten how to close it. 

“Haru, you there?” Your knuckle traces along the side of his face, stopping under his chin, lifting it to look up at you.

“Yeah yeah, ‘m here.” 

Your giggle echoes in his ears, and he’s never been harder in his life, cock pressing uncomfortably tight against his pants. “Good, because you look wasted right now.”

“Just, fuck— stop talkin’. C’mere.” He pulls you down for a kiss with a hand at the back of your head, sloppily working his mouth against yours. He tastes like weed, the smell strong but it doesn’t stop you from licking into his mouth, desperate to drive the strong taste away and replace it. 

Big, strong hands wander the length of your back, slipping under your shirt, cold hands hugging you tight, tight to his body that you can’t help but arch into him.

A sound that comes from the inside of the house has you pulling away, turning to face the window, and he trails his lips down the length of your neck. His nose pokes into the flesh of your neck as he sucks deep, red hickeys onto the plane of your neck, breathing heavily as he savours the feeling of your soft feeling of your skin. 

He could get used to this; the weed makes him feel like your skin is ten times softer, or maybe that’s how it generally feels and you’re just perfect, so soft everywhere. 

“Tak—take this off.” The words are lost to your neck as he sucks along the column of your throat, rogue hands wandering along your chest, up your shirt, kneading your tits through your bra.

“Okay, okay, wait —” When you pull backwards, he follows, leaning up from the seat, lips attached to your neck by the hip. “Haru. If you want to see me naked, you’re gonna have to let me remove my clothes.”

“Just…wait a min’ longer…” He sucks harder, and you shudder as shivers race down your body at the feeling of his teeth nibbling at the sensitive part of your neck. When he’s satisfied, he pulls away, admiring his handiwork. “You look so sexy like this, fuck.” He’s tugging your shirt off, throwing it behind you, uncaring of where it lands. 

Warm hands roam your stomach, your sides, sliding up further to wrap around your throat. “So beautiful ‘n sexy, just for me.”

“You already said sexy.” He hums absentmindedly, obviously not paying attention if the way he’s squeezing the fat of your breasts were any indication. 

“You’re sexy times two.” He grins up at you before pulling your bra cup down, and you inhale sharply when it brushes down your nipple. “No, no actually. Times infinity.”

You flush hot at his words, especially when his lips brush against your ears, biting down against the shell. He’s sweating from the heat in the car plus the heat from both your panting bodies. 

“Don’t you think we should—ah fuck—” He tugs you upwards on his lap, your clothed cunt grinding against his hard cock, hands curling into fists behind his neck. 

“We should what?” His musical chuckle vibrates along your ear, sending cold shivers down your spine, forcing you to arch to chase the feeling away. You squeal when he bites down along your ear once more, smirkingpleasantly at the soft, squishy press of your tits against his chest.

“We should go to your room. I mean there’s not much room in here.” Your neck aches from the angle you’re sitting at, neck bent at an awkward angle to avoid hitting the roof of the car. 

There’s not enough space in this crammed car to fit yourself comfortably. Haru, on the other hand, is more than comfortable, seated on the seats like a king that’s blessed the majestic view of your half naked body atop of his. 

“I got an idea,” he says, not giving you a moment to wonder what he’s thinking before he’s lifting you from his lap, plopping you onto the seats. Your forearm darts quickly to cover your chest when he pops the car door open, lips pressed together tightly as he walks to the front seat, yanks the door open without a care and readjusts the seats back, pushing it till there’s enough room between the wheel. “This space big enough for ya?”

You tilt your head past the seat, surveying the space with a keen eye. There’s enough room for you to kneel down and take his cock in your mouth without a fuss or a struggle. A bed sounds nicer though, the thought of sinking into his soft mattress as he fucks you crosses your mind, but it’s overpowered when you remember his siblings are home and you’d rather die than let them hear you.

“Seems good,” you shrug, sliding quickly out the car; the cold air from the garage AC hits you smack in the chest, hardening your nipples momentarily. 

“Ah, ah wait.” Haru pulls you back before you could climb on top of him. The cute way your tilt your head at him, confused, makes his heart do a triple beat for a moment. “I wanna try somethin’.”

“Okay…” 

It’s stressful the way he’s manouevring you along the seat, pressing your back into the front seat as he shifts to kneel between your legs. “Hold your legs up for me.”

You swallow hard, unable to taste your saliva with how fast your nerves are racing. Doing as he said, you bring your hands under your thighs, holding them up as he tugs your pants down, struggling to get them past your bent knees, glaring at you when you choke on your laugh, muttering out a quick apology. 

“Don’t apologise now. You’ll be beggin’ for it later, trust me.”

His confidence is over the roof right now, evident in his strong posture, shoulders back as he leans forward, swiping a finger along your folds with ease. 

“You’re really wet.” Your slick catches on the tip of his finger, and you want to hide your face between your hands when his pink tongue darts out to lick at it. 

“Could you maybe not do that? It’s awkward…”

He hums when he looks at you; now it’s his turn to tilt his head at you. “How else am I supposed to eat you out then?” His hands press themselves between yours under your thighs, and your back aches from almost sliding down the seat in this awkward position. “You want me to skip the prep? Fuck you into the seat right now?”

“I mean—” It sounds like a good idea, but then you remember the length and thickness of his cock through his pants and swallow excessively. “Prep please.”

He smiles at you, the car light reflecting off the side of his face as he dips his face closer, digging his fingers into the swell of your thighs, nose pressed against your folds and sniffs so hard it’s like a vacuum, your clit tingles with the need to have his tongue in you. 

“This gonna sound so weird, but I really don’t give a fuck but…” he moans as he licks along your slit, a long, wet stripe from the bottom to the top, “you taste so good, fuck—”

“Haru stop…” He seals his lips around your clit, fingernails digging into your thighs as he sucks hard, numbing your clit with the continous flicks of his tongue moving at rapid speed. “Oh my go—”

Your hands fight the urge to fly to his hair, pull him closer to grind his nose against your stubborn clit, but you remember his instructions, to keep your hands on your thighs, keep you spread open for him. 

He’s devouring your pussy like a starved individual, flicking his tongue rapidly, slurping the wetness that drips from your puffy folds. You try to close your legs, try to squirm away from the ticklish feeling of his wet tongue trying to squeeze its way through your cunt, but it’s intoxicating, and overwhelming, especially when his finger tickles against your hole.

It’s fascinating watching it go in and out, and Haru dreads pulling his mouth away from your cunt but he needs to watch your face as his finger slides knuckle deep inside you. His bloodshot eyes twinkle as he watches your slick coat the length of his finger, translucent liquid dripping down his knuckles to the seat. 

“You always get this wet?”

“I don’t know…” It’s not often you finger yourself, so the experience is first hand. You’re also partially amazed that your body managed to produce this much slick from a single finger. “Wait, wait, right there. That feels so good—”

“Here?” His finger curls inside you, itching the side of that spongy spot. 

“No, no—not there, wait—” Your hips shift to the side a little, then it’s like something switches inside you, hands shaking against your thighs as he spreads you out with a second finger, applying pressure to that spot that has your moans increasing in pitch. 

His cock twitches with the need to replace his fingers, sink himself deep inside you, watch your eyes cross as you melt in pleasure. He leans forward, slurping, sucking along the sensitive hood of your clit.

Your body feels numb, voice coming out as breathy pants as you tilt your head back to hit the headrest, giving into the warm, fuzzy feeling deep inside your abdomdem as he fingers you to your climax. 

He knows that you're close when your walls cling and squeeze his fingers tight, barely giving him enough room to move them. His own tongue slithers through your folds, lapping up the leftover slick. The taste of you is better than he’d expected, and he thinks he could live between your legs for the rest of his life. 

There’s a swell of pride swirling through his chest when he feels you lose yourself on his fingers and tongue, your teeth pressing into your bottom lip painfully as you jolt and sit up from the effects of your orgasm. Your hands forget holding your thighs up, gripping onto his hair tied up loosely in a ponytail and tug him forward, craving the warmth of his mouth sealed around your clit as your world comes tumbling down.

It takes a couple moments for you to get yourself together, still holding painfully onto his hair before letting go. He presses ticklish kisses along your thighs, licking at the wetness spread along them. 

“That was—” You swallow, trying to find the words since your brain isn’t co-operating. “That was so good.”

You look all cute when flustered, face heated and flushed, your pretty lips left open as you pant heavily, desperately trying to catch your breath. 

“Think I found my new addiction.” He grins up at you, big hands squeezing the fat of your thighs as he kneels up between your legs, wrapping them around his waist and leans in for a kiss.

Your hands cup his cheeks, holding him close to you as he licks into your mouth, forcing you to taste yourself on his tongue, giving you a moment to gather your nerves because you’re going to need it. 

“I’m ready,” you mumble into his mouth, feeling the shiver that races down his spine.

“Bet, okay. Hold on.” He draws back, big hands spreading your thighs apart.

You look at him through your lashes as he sheds his shirt, tossing it behind you. His body is lean, capacious, abs faint but visible and your mouth waters, hand flying out to run down his stomach. Your touch is so light, his muscles flinching away from the ticklish feeling. Everything you do to him makes him feel so good. 

He grips both your hands, pinning them above the headrest. “Keep ‘em there,” he says, unbuckling his belt, sliding his pants down to his knees. He grabs a condom from his back pocket, ignoring your humourless stare.

“You planned this?” You gesture at the condoms with your head. 

“Better be safe than sorry.” He bites the end of the wrapper, pulling the condom out, rolling it slowly down his shaft. 

Your eyeroll is cut short when the tip of his cock angles itself at your entrance. He can see the way you’re dripping, the slick smeared along your thighs. 

Warmth engulfs the head of his cock as he slowly pushes it in you, and he hisses, biting his lip to stop himself from thinking how good you feel, how tight you’re going to squeeze his cock, how he’s going to cum inside you—

You’re panting, the tip of his cock stretching you out, almost screaming when it pushes past, the thick head making you dizzy it carves a path inside you. “Ah, Haru that—” He pushes deeper, and his eyes roll back when you clench around him.

Haru swears, gripping onto the base of his cock, squeezing it to stop himself from cumming too quickly, pushing through the urge to shove the rest of his length inside you. He stills halfway, needing to take a moment to compose himself, his mind fuzzy and warm, and he feels lightheaded. 

He has to close his eyes, knowing if he looks down, seeing his cock between your legs, halfway inside you, he’d cum in an instant. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to wait—I can take it,” you pant, hips desperately trying to rut forward. “Please…”

He takes a moment to swallow, groaning lowly, as he pushes the rest of his cock inside you, trying to ignore the tight suction of your walls. The moment he bottoms out, he’s falling forward, dipping his face between your neck and shoulder and moans, the sound desperate and needy, causing your pussy to clench and quiver around him.

You wrap your legs around his waist, arms wrapping around his head as you hold him closely, enjoying the feeling of his breath tickling your shoulders. “You okay?” 

It’s funny how you’re asking him this instead of the other way round, and a part of you feels pride in the fact you could make someone this desperate and needy without effort. 

“I’m good…it’s just…fuck , you’re so tight.” He forces himself to inhale deeply, eyes squeezing shut painfully to compose himself. He shivers at the feeling of your nails raking up and down his hair, scratching at his scalp addictvely. “You’re good though, right? It doesn’t hurt?”

You shake your head, smiling softly at him. “Nah. The seats a little uncomfortable but…that’s about it. You can move, Haru.”

“It’s uncomfy? Oh…” You almost want to cry when he pulls out, but he’s lifting you from the seat, switching your positions, slotting you back down on his lap. 

“You want me to ride you?”

He nods, biting his lip when you grab onto his cock, seating yourself down on his cock. 

“Oh my god—” You feel so full, his thick cock stretches your walls, whimpering beside his ear when he rolls his hips sensually, pressing his cock deeper inside you. 

“ Holy shit , you’re so tight.” Your pussy drives him into a frenzy, eyes threatening to roll back at the way your cunt squeezes him so tight, clinging to every inch of him. 

He swears, voice low, sounding wrecked as you begin riding him a little faster, slowly lifting your hips up and down. The obscene squelch of your pussy grasping pathetically around his thick shaft has him biting his lip so hard he might draw blood. 

“ Haru.” You wail his name, collapsing onto his chest, shuddering when his hands, rough and warm, grab onto your hips to slow your pace down. 

“Yeah?” His voice is quiet, like a whisper, so he clears his throat and tries again. “Yeah? What’s wrong?”

“Lemme move—” You trail your lips down his neck in an attempt to soften him, waiting for him to let go of you so you can move faster. There’s a nudging spot inside you, an itch that needs to be scratched. Your attempt to move is shut down again, frustration building up and up the longer you feel his cock twitch inside you. “Haru please…”

“If I let go, you gotta promise to take it slow.”

“But I wanna make you feel good.” You whisper along his lips, tugging at it with your teeth. He groans into your mouth, and shifts for a moment, his cock follows suit, twitching desperately for some friction. “Wait, do that again.”

“This?” He rolls his hips upwards, rolls your hips backwards and forwards, and you drip a little wetter down his leg, wetting his thighs. 

“Yes. Do it again.” 

He starts a steady pace, steady enough for you to feel the way he’s deliberately aiming at that spot in you that makes you squirm around. 

“I’m so close.” He says beside your ear, his voice lingering in your head, clouded by the feeling of his hands roaming your back, scratching at it with every bounce you give him. 

“Me…me too.” 

He’s tense, gritting his teeth when you clench around him. You shift backwards, unslinking your hands from around his neck to grab at his knees, using them as leverage to support yourself as you roll your hips in circles.

He can feel the energy buzzing between you both, can feel the tingling sensation on the edge of his fingertips, the drugs running through his veins has the regular feeling of sex intensifieid, and he swears he can feel every inch of you. 

Everything is so hot right now, the temperature in the car, the feel of your hands braced against his knees, the way your nails dig into the bone, the way your tits bounce in his face as you fuck yourself on his cock. 

You clench when you cum, and he leans forward suddenly, grabbing your hips to lift you up, slamming you back down with a loud moan, hips jerking as he cums inside you. 

You’re shaking, trembling at the feeling of his cum spurting inside you, the wet sensation is ticklish, cold shivers running down your spine. 

“You feel so fuckin’ good,” he mumbles again, holding you down to feel your greedy walls sucking him in further. “Holy fuck, I could stay here forever.”

“I need a shower.” You say once you come back to your senses, groaning softly when you lift yourself up and off his cock, the wet squelch following after echoes throughout the car. 

“That’s so hot.” He mutters, eyes wide with fascincation as he reaches out to thumb at your clit, enjoying the way you shiver and let out a soft moan as he rubs it in circles. “Holy shit that’s so hot. You’re so hot.”

“I kno—” It’s distracting when you can feel his cum dripping out from you slowly making you lose your train of thought , the drip of it is anticipating until it forms a small pool between both of your bodies. “I know.”

“You hesitated.” 

“I didn’t.”

He removes his thumb, wiping the wetness from it along his tongue, tasting you, and you feel your face flush at the action, burning hot when looks up at you, the corners of his mouth dragging up slowly. “You did.”

“Shut up.” 

Sanzu’s reaching towards the backseat for his stash, and you laugh at how his arm barely reaches it, flailing it uselessly around the air. 

“You’re not gonna reach it, Haru.”

“Watch me.”

He grunts and groans like he’s lifting heavy bricks, and you start to take pity on him. “Dude, just give up.”

“No.”

 If there’s one thing about Sanzu it’s that he’s determined, but not in the way you think. It’s more the stubborn version, always trying to do the impossible, ignoring you when you tell him it’s not possible, then sulks when he fails. 

He clicks his tongue, shifting you down on his lap so he has more room and this time successfully grabs at it. “Told you. Always hatin’ on me.”

You giggle, faint and shrill, leaning forward to rest your head against his shoulder, watching him dug through the contents of the bag, his slender, skilled fingers professionally rolling another blunt. 

It’s silent in the car again, you two both bask in each other’s presence. Both of you refusing to discuss what happened earlier, not sure if those sudden feelings you felt were because of the weed or if there’s something else deep inside, a false truth you’ve refused to make terms with, or shoved them aside for another unknown reason unbeknownst to you.

Your head is racing with thoughts, pictures of Haru wondering where you suddenly felt these emotions towards him came from. The thought of sharing him with anyone else angers you, but it shouldn’t because you’re both friends. The thought of him laying in a car with another girl on top of him angers you, makes you feel bitter and resentment towards this imaginary woman your brain fabricated inside your head.

It’s like your body is working against you. 

Stupid weed. 

Haru’s gone for the second time today, and for the first time in what felt like ten minutes—in actuality it was only three—you look up at him. He looks like he’s falling asleep, those chubby cheeks of his so promising, so soft, you can’t help but shift upwards, pressing soft kisses against them.

It should be weird to him  that he doesn’t question your sudden out of character movements, but then again you both did just have sex not longer than five minutes ago. 

His phone rings at the backseat, pulling you away from his neck where you were sucking fresh purple hickeys onto and he groans when your ass brushes aginst his cock. It’s been slightly hard the entire time, still not over his recent orgasm, but not strong enough to maintain itself to stand tall. 

“What’re you doin’?” You freeze as your hand hovers over his phone. 

“Your phone’s been ringing non-stop. It’s irritating.” The caller ID is Ran, and part of you wants to answer it so you can know what he looks like. It’s been nudging at your brain the entire time, trying to figure out which one of his friends is who, trying to put the pieces of the faceless group of boys together to solve the puzzle. 

“Just ignore it—okay then.” You answer the phone away, turning the camera away from your naked body onto Sanzu’s face. You squirm around, trying to find where Sanzu threw your bra and shirt as the two engage in small talk.

“What do you want?”

Ran snorts on the other end, his voice deep, familiar, and husky. “Don’t needa get all pissy, you big baby. Takeomi wants to know where you are.”

“What the fuck does that have to do wit’ me?”

“Call him, or somethin’. I don’t fuckin’ know?”

Haru sniffs, nose wrinkling when the smoke he blows out invades his nostrils. “Tell him I’m busy.”

“Being a fuckin’ junkie?” Ran snorts, petty and bitterly, voice now laced in sarcasm. “So productive.”

Haruchiyo rolls his eyes at the same time you put your shirt back on, reaching under your shirt to fix the straps of your bra. “I’m doing more than getting high, you slug. I’m with my friend.”

You had tuned out the conversation from the beginning, your main priority being your clothes, but at the mention of ‘friend’, he jostles his leg, catching your attention. “Say hello.”

“Uh…hello?”

“Oh? Who might you be?”

“I’m—” Haruchiyo ends the call before you could even get the first letter of your name out. “What the hell?”

He lazily shrugs, tossing his phone into the backseat without a care. It hits the edge of the seat, before hitting the floor with a mild smack. Two noble fingers grasp at your chin, redirecting your gaze from his probably broken phone to his face. 

The kiss is passionate, and long, his wet slide of his tongue laving itself inside your mouth. Your face grows hot when his lips wrap around the length of your tongue, sucking the moisture from it, replacing it with his own. It’s messy but you don’t care, happily drinking the mixed saliva from his mouth. 

His sharp teeth sink into your lips, stopping you from pulling away, kissing you with fervour as his heavy head spins, and bright flashes of colour appears behind his closed eyes.

“I’m so hungry,” he gasps out when he finally pulls away, wiping the saliva from his mouth with his forearm, giving you back the breath he stole from your lungs with that kiss.

“You want me to drive you to McDonalds?”

He grins up at you, that stupid adorable look on his face that has your heart warming in your chest. “Is this your way of asking me out on a date?”

“It’s my way of forcing some food down your throat before you die of starvation.”

“What if I was thirsty instead?”

“McDonalds sells drinks, dumbass.”

“ Or… ” He places his hands on your hips, pulling you forward on his lap. You yelp at the motion, hands flying to the headrest behind him to stabilise yourself. 

What he’s insinuating is lost to you for a moment, only becoming obvious when his hand snakes down to your pussy, thumb nudging insistently at your clit. His eyes dip down to your chest, your nipples still hard and poking through the thin fabric of your shirt, then drags them back up to your face and smiles.

“You’re so horny.” Your eyeroll is fabricated and fake, part of you deep down wants it too. 

“You like it though.” It’s true, and he knows it too. The defeated look on your face is all he needs to know when he moves to open the car door, nodding his head outside. “Let’s go to my room now.”

[venvellan]

da2's arishok is a good villain. if you have a fundamental understanding of the qun and listen to his thought process, the things he does makes sense. he uses the qun to justify slaughtering kirkwall's people, which is utterly inexcusable and what makes him a villain, but his character is complex enough to make dealing with him that much more thought provoking. he sends agents to kill petrice because she was killing his people, he doesn't give up the elves because they committed their lives to the qun, no matter how recently they converted, and he refuses to leave without the tome (and isabela) because his idea of justice hasn't been done. his logic makes sense, generally, though it is wrong on more than one occasion. he isn't moral, but he is methodical.

i feel this way about solas, too. i like da2's arishok for the same reasons that initially draw people to solas, i think. when we meet them, i find them interesting and educational to talk to, someone worthy of respect, and someone very honorable in their own way. similarly, many of my issues with solas compare with flaws in the qun/the arishok.

solas asserts that all of his beliefs are correct, and we're never allowed to challenge him on any of it. if he has high enough approval, he'll approach you to go, "yknow, i thought you were all [insert prejudice or stereotype] but YOU showed me that some of you guys are actually okay," which is NOT what it looks like for someone's beliefs to be challenged.

brief aside, i want to be fair in that we don't get this opportunity with many of the companions, and it's not even an inquisition specific issue. the dialogue format is agree, joke, be mean, and it's flawed, but it works in the majority of interactions. we don't really get to engage in nuanced discussions with characters, but there are positives and negatives to the system overall. it is possible to challenge and shape a character within this dialogue system (i.e., garrus vakarian) but in dragon age that really only comes in the form of harden/unharden. it was a little more doable with origins' system, but it really hasn't been a huge part of any dragon age game. most characters' beliefs remain largely unchanged by you regardless of how you play.

solas also possesses a strong sense of duty and purpose, though what duty he has, what his true goals are, he keeps hidden as long as he can. the most damning comparison though, to me, is how willing he is to destroy the world and bring back "his people," while the qunari fight to conquer the world and homogenize society into "their people."

in any case, with both him and the arishok, you can see the wheels turning in their heads. you can see why they do what they do, even if it's wholly immoral. it makes their threat a lot more personal, a lot scarier, psychologically, that a "normal" person, who doesn't want to cause suffering, can hold such specific beliefs and such strong conviction that knowing that they'll hurt people doesn't give them any pause. the root of their motivation is understandable. solas wants to right his wrongs, at his core. the arishok implicitly believes that the qun is safer, better for its people than life outside the qun. we can see that they're taking it too far, but they don't care. it makes them good villains.

"i am not corypheus, i take no joy in this." sure, which is a very similar sentiment, emotionally, to the qunari sense of duty. you can say you don't enjoy it all you want, you're still committing genocide. you can hate the qunari all you want, but you fight with their ferocity, their unshakeable faith in their own cause. their need to "do what's right," no matter who's caught in the wake.

i understand why people like solas, i go back and forth on it myself, but i don't think he's all that different from the arishok in method and motivation. they're each thrust into a world so different from what they believe is "right" that they demand it change around them. if we had to kill the old arishok, then if solas refuses to give up, he will have to die. he doesn't get to do genocide just because he's romanceable. he's a good character, he's a good villain, but he's not a good guy, and unless he stops before he does any real harm (which he will not do), he should share the arishok's fate.

[agendabymooner]

closure ! max v. x ofc (hearth sister!ofc)

“it wasn't right—the way it all went down. looks like you know that now.”

summary: sylvie just wanted to prove that she was good enough for the red bull racing team, but everything that had to do with her history with max seemed to get in the way of her determination— and she made sure that he knew that.

content warning: panic attack (and its triggers), use of explicit language, mentions of absent father figure, j*s verst*ppen 🤢, christian horner, frenemies to lovers (ish), confrontational text messages (max and sylvie), max being oblivious to her mental state, mentions of max’s childhood (not detailed)

note: as someone who struggled to find peace at certain situations, I know what it’s like to struggle in asking for help. please remember that there are people that are more than willing to give you the support that you need.

(i may not be able to update any of the smau works for the next two weeks as i am out of town and i only have my ipad with me. i normally do the layouts on my computer. i’ll try my best!)

enjoy xx

masterlist

2016 Spanish GP

If fate worked like this all the time, she might as well jump off the cliff if any of her peers asked for it.

She had been pulled out of her lectures for the week only for her to sit and watch how the racing teams operated. She could only roll her eyes when Christian Horner recommended she should have her presence be known in the paddock and the track as she prepared to work in an F1 team.

Sylvie already knew how everything worked; she was going to be a driver, for fuck’s sake. She had been trained for it. She grew up attending the race weekends because of her father and grandparents. She knew everything now. Hell, she even had Toto Wolff for an in-law (practically). He could just rerun everything to her if she needed to remember.

Christian Horner clearly had a different intention towards her visit. He claimed that she needed to relive the experiences in the garage, the media pit and the hospitality. But she knew the truth.

She had a rapport, her history in the academy was obviously discussed to Christian at some point. How Christian never mentioned anything about her departure from the program to her sister, who now held parts of Red Bull and the other two teams, she never had an answer for. It wasn’t a secret to most. At least to those who were there the day she left.

Tilly was in the Mercedes area, leaving her little sister in the Red Bull hospitality as she listened to nothing. She felt so alone and isolated, her urge to go to Mercedes was overwhelming. But it wasn’t as if she could; Christian had already told her off about her role and position in the company.

It didn’t help that Max Verstappen, donning his number 33 shirt, was in the same building. He was quite adamant on keeping her company but she constantly avoided him, slipping out of his sight as soon as his eyes settled on her.

She found excuses, most of which had something to do with Daniel Ricciardo. The Australian hadn’t minded though, knowing that she felt uncomfortable being around other people especially around Max. Daniel never minded her excuses, instead making up a lie that’s believable to others. Just so she could escape.

Max’s family was there that weekend. Obviously, she knew his mother and Victoria, his sister. Max and Sylvie, the two 18 year olds, were practically soul twins. Born on the same day, grew up together, and had been attached to the hips since the day they could crawl— they were friends, no one just knew what had happened. His mother had always asked Sylvie’s mum about her and how she’d managed to let her friendship with Max dissipate like that. Victoria missed having Sylvie over for tea whenever she visited the Netherlands, asking Max about what he had done to let Sylvie go like that.

Jos Verstappen was a different story. He never liked Sylvie, only holding a certain amount of respect for Julius Hearth and Blanche Ford Hearth. He always wanted Max to be successful at motorsport and this meant that nobody could be as equally good as his son. Not especially when Max’s ability matched Sylvie’s. He always claimed that hanging out with “that girl” will simply distract Max.

Even if he nodded at his father’s direction, Max continued to be friends with Sylvie, spending more time together whenever she and her family would fly and meet with his family.

At the ripe age of 12, Max admitted to her that she’s the closest thing that he had to an imaginary friend. Like he was forced to grow up before he could even walk. She was the one who would pull up the PlayStation whenever he failed to please his father for the tournament of that time. Jos never liked her, but he didn’t know exactly what could’ve made him dislike her. Sylvie didn’t like him, either, because she couldn’t believe that she was the one who’d have to give Max the childhood that he deserved. There are times when she wished she could simply spew out the foulest words and lump him with her own father. Well… she had already considered him a shitty father, and there’s no changing of opinion now.

So for Sylvie to see Jos in the paddock, basically keeping his eye on his son like a pestering hawk? Yeah, she turned away from their direction.

Then another group of people came, the same arrogant smile all over their faces. They taunted her.

She could remember her last week at the academy, when she had enough. These boys questioned her abilities on the track as soon as she started, trying to get her to quit as soon as she could. She didn’t care about them, because whenever they’d race she remained on the top of their level. They hated her because of it. Then on her last day, she was left to be called a name that didn’t even fit her…

“Snake Sylvie!” Matt Bauer was what she called Max’s bitch. He never liked Sylvie and had always wanted to be in Max’s family’s good graces. Alongside him were Max’s two other friends. These three were the same incompetent fucks who never ended in Formula 2. Thus, ending their racing careers early. They were doing fuck knows what these days. Which was quite hilarious, if you were to ask Sylvie, because they were the ones who kept telling Max to “Keep working” or “toughen up and get the first place.”

She couldn’t remember their names when she met them again that weekend, her eyes were already blurry from the tears as she shoved her way through them. “Where are you going?! We’re just going to catch up, babe!”

She didn’t even stop, her feet speeding up as she attempted to wipe her tears away. Her lips let out a stutter of excuse me as she pushed her way into where the Mercedes garage was.

Second free practice didn’t start anytime soon and Sylvie was thankful for that. It, however, never stopped the camera by the engineering station from capturing the sounds of a sobbing girl and an image of her nearly soaked Red Bull shirt as she ran inside. Had she been stronger than this, she wouldn’t have ran to Toto.

As if he knew someone was coming his way, Toto Wolff immediately took his headphones off and turned. His face etched with worry as Sylvie wrapped her arms around his broad figure. She was hysterically sobbing and shaking, her tears almost soaking his white shirt as she kept her head tucked in his chest.

“Can we stop the camera? There’s an obvious situation going on in here and we need a moment,” Sylvie couldn’t hear his voice as it was something more of a rumbling noise. Meanwhile Toto’s stern expression made the cameraman do as he was told. “Hey, schwester, are you okay?”

She was relentless, sobbing as she kept her head down and her arms tightly wrapped around him. She couldn’t speak. Not breathe for that matter. It felt like the last day of the academy all over again. Having no voice felt like she was just as defenseless once more.

“Sylvie, do you want me to take you to your hospitality?” Her bloodshot red eyes, still tearing up, stared into his dark ones as her lips quivered and her head shook left and right. “Do you want your sister?”

Toto knew that the Mercedes hospitality was nearer to the Red Bull area than the Mercedes garage. So for her to go this far just for comfort… something told him that she didn’t want to stress out the pregnant woman and that she needed more than her sister.

He pursed his lips, feeling helpless as he kept an arm around her shoulder as they walked out of the garage. He nodded at his engineers as if he was letting them know about leaving for a moment.

He did his best at comforting her. Rubbed her back, shushing her quietly and gently leading her to the hospitality. People outdoors had gotten a glimpse of her situation and began to speculate, which forced her to hide her face once more as Toto glared at them.

“Come on, schatzi,” inside nobody had batted an eye on her. And instead of speculating, certain people merely looked at the two with concern. What the hell happened, they probably asked themselves.

She was too busy crying and hiding her face away that she hadn’t realized Tilly was already approaching the two. Sylvie didn’t look up until she heard, “What happened, bello?”

“She came to the garage,” Toto said quietly, looking down at his in-law with concern as he said, “she couldn’t say anything because she’s having a hard time breathing.”

“Oh, lovie,” Tilly whispered empathetically, her delicate figure reaching out to hug her little sister, “I’m sorry to hear that. Come, let’s sit down, yes?”

Sylvie could barely think throughout the process of moving from one place to another. They reached the Mercedes motorhome and found themselves in a private room, Sylvie’s lips were swollen and her tear-stained cheeks were red.

She wasn’t even aware that Toto left until his tall figure returned with two bottles of water in his hands. He simply placed it down on the empty table and exchanged looks with his girlfriend. They couldn’t even find a way to help her out of this.

“Listen, Sylvie,” the girl’s sobbing subsided for a moment as Toto said, “I will come back. Okay? I will check and make sure that you’re alright, but I have to go.”

“Yes, go,” Tilly nodded at him, “I’ll be here. Thank you for taking her to me, mon amour.”

“Alright, I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Toto murmured as he leaned down and pecked Tilly’s lips. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Tilly smiled ruefully, her eyes trained on her little sister as Toto moved to stand and hug Sylvie. Sylvie could only hug his waist, not wanting to let go but had done so anyway.

“Take some time to breathe, lovie,” Toto said for the last time before he left hesitantly.

Nobody but the two were inside the motorhome, thankfully. Sylvie would be so embarrassed to cry in front of other people— as she had done so ten minutes ago. The silence was interrupted by Sylvie’s sobbing. Tilly couldn’t help but wrap her arm around Sylvie’s shoulders, trying to occupy as much space as a pregnant woman could. God, this was the only thing that she didn’t like about her pregnancy. She wasn’t able to comfort her sisters or anyone as much as she’d like to do.

The model couldn’t even think or try to let out a single word, only crying in her sister’s arms as she listened to her shushing. It didn’t take long until the tears dried up. Her energy drained from crying too much over some fuckers who couldn’t even make it to the podium. Them, and that one person would be able to do that on Sunday.

With exhaustion washing over her, her sniffles turned into something more silent as she shut her eyes. It didn’t take long for Tilly to notice this as she stood up, giving more space to the girl on the couch. “Get some rest, lovie,” Tilly said quietly, brushing Sylvie’s hair away as the girl drifted off to sleep.

She really didn’t like being here in Spain.

—

Argument just outside the motorhome was what had woken her up. It was normal to have frustrated drivers or team principals throw a bitch fit, but hearing an argument was a different story.

Her eyes stung from opening after her post-crying nap, her feet meeting the floor as she popped the lid of the bottle open, her parched body taking in the water that she swallowed.

She liked eavesdropping, she really did. She liked to provide her own input even if it’s not needed— she was nosey and everyone knew that. But what she had gone through just about an hour or so ago made her lose the energy and motivation to be her usual self.

It didn’t stop her from walking closer to the door and listening in to whatever argument was going on.

“She’s here to observe and work, she’s not here to spectate,” that was Christian Horner.

“But she’s not feeling well, Christian, she has to rest,” now that’s her favourite in-law. Not really in-law.

“Look, I get that you’re looking out for her but you have to understand,” Christian hissed, “she’ll be signing with Red Bull as soon as she graduates. I cannot have her working with the team if you’re constantly mollycoddling her just because you’re the closest that she has to a father figure. This is a professional work setting, Toto, and she needs to be disciplined to be a part of it.”

“Disciplined, in what way?” The sternness on Toto’s voice could kill, unless you’re just as stupid as Christian as Sylvie heard a scoff coming out of the Red Bull team principal’s mouth.

“Everybody’s going through tough times,” Christian said, “so what? Most of us are moving along anyways. Don’t treat her like a child and make exemptions. She’s never going to learn how to toughen up from it.”

“Hey!” Another voice rung out as the door opened slightly, making her step back as she heard an exclamation of, “That girl was distressed after she left your area— the place where she’s supposed to feel comfortable working in. It’s not her responsibility to bear the problems that are clearly happening within the area of your control, so don’t you tell us how to accommodate if you can barely take care of it. Alright?”

“Fuckin’ prick,” the door slammed shut as Sylvie’s figure remained frozen, her eyes watching as they met Lewis’ dark ones. He smiled gently and asked, “Hey. Are you feeling better now, sweetheart?”

She didn’t respond for a moment after she heard Toto say, “Just give it a rest. She’ll work on what she has to do, just let it go for now. Speak to Tilly, if you would like.”

“Don’t worry about them,” Lewis pulled her back to the couch and sat with her. He leaned back as he joked, “Lovers’ quarrel is what’s going on between the two.”

She chuckled quietly, unable to keep her facade. The laughter fell eventually as she muttered, “I didn’t mean to create such a scene. I’m sorry.”

“What? Hey, girl, no,” Lewis felt his heart break at her words as he reached and rubbed her shoulder for comfort. “Don’t be sorry for snapping. It’s brave of you to keep it together in the first place.”

“I really didn’t mean to make a big deal out of it,” her voice cracked as she tried not to cry. Thinking about it was exhausting and saddening. “It’s just— there’s—“

“It’s okay, take a deep breath,” Lewis told her softly. She did as she was told. Many would say that it’s a rare thing to happen but Sylvie listened.

“There’s just people,” Sylvie explained quietly, not looking at Lewis as she murmured, “I haven’t seen them for a while and… I felt so uneasy. Like it’s the final nail in the coffin. I didn’t want to make a big deal because it was at Red Bull. Nobody’s in there. Toto, you and Tilly are in Mercedes.”

“Sorry we couldn’t be there,” Lewis told her sympathetically. “But it’s a good idea that you went to the garage as quickly as you did. Now look, even Christian’s facing Toto’s wrath.”

“I don’t want to think about it anymore,” Sylvie whispered shakily, shutting her eyes close as she sighed, “I just want some closure.”

The next few days were dreadful. She hadn’t wanted to go back to England as much as she did that weekend.

The people she never wanted to see were there. The sad part of it was the fact that Max would continue to be a part of her life and job, whether she liked it or not. She’d have to tolerate him, no matter how much shit she had gone through because of him and those people around him. This was the second time she had seen him and felt so angry. It was like her life was a race. It starts out very well, with her at the pole. But then she crashes the moment she tries to take advantage and overtake.

On Sunday, Max landed in P1. Sylvie watched him pop the cork of the Moet out and showered his fellow podium winners with it. The text that she then received and sent spilled everything that had nothing to do with champagne. But rather explained how she ended up leaving the academy after that damn open tournament four years ago.

Max complains a lot, he could admit, but he never felt so guilty as much as he did when he practically berated her through a series of text messages. He always demanded answers to things that he believed had explanations, and he wouldn’t stop until he got it. But sometimes he wished his relentless demands were silenced by his conscience.

He felt extremely guilty and upset. It wasn’t because Sylvie Hearth refused to give in to his demands, but rather because her answers explained her hatred and anger. It wasn’t just any anger. It was an ounce of hatred and a lot of anger directed towards him.

Because really, he was the reason why Sylvie never turned out to be the first woman to become a Formula One driver. She never got the seat in Red Bull Racing and Max had gotten it instead. Now he understood why she would refuse to speak to or look at him as if they were childhood best friends and act like they were strangers.

[peachymilkandcream]

Movie!William Afton x Evelyn -> Night Terrors

(A/N: No request was given for this one BUT the prompt is: What if WIlliam used the animatronics to keep her scared that they were coming for the family if she left so she lays awake at night terrified and seeing things and he helps comfort her? ;) This one spoke to me as someone who's afraid of the dark as an adult XD Hope y'all enjoy, after this one I'm going to bed I've been writing a lot today XD As always this is not canon to Break Me Slowly, Evelyn is just my go to OC and I like seeing her get railed what can I say.)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, power imbalance, age difference, etc.

===========================================

Evelyn stared at the ceiling, that was all she could do, stare and listen for the sounds in the halls, terror gripping her as her mind filled in the blanks and she could almost hear the haunting clank of metal. It was all in her head, she knew it, she knew it deep down, but the small part of her wondered just how much was her mind or reality. Sweet, sweet William was a brilliant man, but she couldn't deny how much his creations terrified her. Her life had become nothing but terror in the wake of the accidents that claimed the lives of her two children.

Of course he was sound asleep, in dreamland thinking of some other brilliant scheme to regain their previous financial standing. Her heart her because she wanted to tell him that she didn't care about that, she'd give it all up to have him and their children back. However she knew she could never say anything, he was her husband after all, she couldn't just question him. He had given her the future that she had, she couldn't just bother him with her stupid opinions.

Evelyn knew better than to wake him, but the shadows in the dark room started to look like they came alive. Pulsating and moving closer to her, horrifying amalgamations of those cute creatures that brought so many children joy back in the day. William was usually such a sound sleeper, he probably wouldn't even wake up as she slid closer and cuddled into his back.

She felt slightly better, the fear wasn't as prominent with the warmth that he radiated. He was all that she had in this world, William had told her this often, especially since her two living children has selfishly abandoned them because they couldn't give their father the respect he deserved.

A small smile crept onto her face as she cuddled in closer, her movements just a little too much which made him stir and wake up, rolling over to her. His smile matching hers as am arm snaked around her waist, feeling her curves and giving her ass a little squeeze that he made sure she didn't miss.

"Sleep troubles my love?" His hand squeezed harder, and at this close proximity she could feel his intentions through his pants. "I can help you with that." He starts to climb on top of her until he notices her discomfort. "What's the matter?"

"It's fine William I really just don't, want to-"

His smile vanishes, a look of warning coming into his eyes. "Excuse me?" He always gave her one chance to change her tune, and she knew what would happen if she refused.

"Nevermind, that sounds great."

His smile returns, leaning over her and kissing her neck. His beard was uncomfortable on her skin, but with the way his tongue soothed the spots his teeth bit it was worth it. William's happiness was all that was important, and having time like this was rare, she should be appreciative that he was even willing to sleep with her. Therefore she made sure to arch her back and moan extra loud, it was fake, it was all fake, but neither of them cared. The way he gripped her thighs with such desperation made her feel more alive and younger than she had in years, even if she still wasn't that old compared to him.

William took his time worshipping every inch of her, in the past he would have never done this, but with how well she had made things for him how could he not spoil her every once and a while? She put up with his narcissistic and erratic personality and at least claimed to love him in return, sucking on her breasts until she pulled his head down for more was the least he could do.

She was so wet as he pumped one finger and then two inside her, the slight winces of pain from the extra stitch he made her get with each of the pregnancies not slowing him down in the slightest. It wasn't like she had a choice anyway, she never had a choice. Even now she was still tight, fitting him perfectly as he slid in, he truly believed she was built for him, built to be used by him and to stay by his side through all of the horrors he subjected everyone he encountered to.

With each thrust the fear surrounding her seemed to fade a little more, the shadows moved less and less as the passion built more and more. She wasn't sure what it was about William, but the way he was set her on fire like never before, he was like a drug, if he wasn't giving her some kind of drug already.

It took no time for her to spasm and climax around him, holding onto his arms desperately and whimpering out his name as she rode out her high, his hot cum filling her not long after as they held each other in their arms. Whether it was his presence or the liquid dripping out from between her legs Evelyn wasn't sure, she just knew that for once the world was still. And as he held her firmly against his chest she could finally drift into a peaceful sleep.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

Listening to "If I Loved You" and holy shit it just hit me that Pete and Steph and Max and Grace are really good reflections of each other. There's the similarities, like-

Max and Steph are the two popular kids in the dynamic, both pursue the nerds rather than the reverse.

Pete and Grace are both hesitant in pursuing that relationship, one out of fear, one out of conviction.

Both Max and Steph use their social power to (attempt to) protect their nerd. Max knocks Kyle out for insulting Grace, and Steph being willing to stand up for Pete makes him a peer in the eyes of the other popular kids. (Max excluded)

Both couples having sexual feelings for each other plays a major role in their respective stories (Abstinence Camp for Steph/Pete, NPMD for Grace/Max)

But what I think is most interesting is the differences. For instance-

Pete spends a lot of time considering his potential friendship/relationship with Steph, analyzing his own self-perception ("am I cooler than I think I am?") And considering how Steph thinks about herself ("She's smarter than she thinks she is"). On the other hand, Grace doesn't think about Max in any real way beyond her own fantasy. Max does seem romantically interested in her, but Grace fantasizes about having a no-strings-attached physical relationship ("I won't care about you!") As a side note, it's very interesting to me that the line "a one-way ticket power trip" seems to be referring to Grace, not Max. She doesn't want a relationship, she wants to feel powerful, which is very different.

Grace and Max are... Caustic. A lot would have to change in order for their dynamic to be healthy. Their relationship is very new and immature and self-serving. Grace thinks of Max as a means to an end, and Max is pushy and disrespectful of her obvious boundaries.

Steph and Pete are the complete opposite. Even when they're trying to be mean to each other their words are still rooted in a deep care for the other's well-being. "If I loved you like you should be loved" is literally them trying to say "I don't like you!" but accidentally adding "At least not in the way you are deserving of because you are important to me and I only want the best for you! AAGGH!!!"

"Loved you like I'm capable of" can be directly translated to "if I liked you in that way you would KNOW because my heart would be SO FULL and I would show you EVERY DAY how MUCH you MEAN TO ME!! But I DON'T! So THERE!"

Even when Steph and Pete are actively trying to antagonize each other, their actions and words can all be drawn back to the fact that, romantic or not, they really, really care about each other, and that's the bedrock of their relationship. God I love these two

I'm just such a sucker for narrative parallels you guys

[nerdypatrolcollector-blog]

Human Connections in 23.5

This show has completely taken over my mind and I am incapable thinking of anything else. In this essay, I will… no but seriously it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a shown affect me this hard in a long time so I had to write about it. None of my friends watch this show so I’m relaying my thoughts to (hopefully) kind internet strangers. 

At its core, 23.5 is a show about the craving and wanting of human connection. It’s such a beautifully written story full of nuance and consequences but ultimately is about the choices the characters make for the hopes of making a connection and keeping it. Let’s take a look at it through the lenses of our 3 main characters, ongsa, aylin, and sun (sorry Luna we don't know enough about you).

The easiest one is ongsa, this is her story and her journey through finding family, friends, and love. It is very much implied that before she moved to Bangkok, ongsa was a very lonely kid, having trouble finding friends. The more she missed out on these connections the more desperate she got and the lower her self esteem was. Maybe starting to think that it was something about her that made people not want to be associated with her. Moving to Bangkok was her chance to start over. And in the first episode we are shown how those experiences informed her view of the world, constantly blaming herself for the problems that she faced that day. And sure the show plays it off for the shits and giggles but there’s an inherent sadness to it. That desperate need for connection to sun makes her do stupid things. Of course she regrets the things she’s doing, she’s human after all, but the alternative is so much more scary so she doubles down and digs the hole even deeper. However, there’s a light at the end: tinh, chaoren, real sun, aylin. It’s only through the extension of a helping hand from tinh, chaoren, aylin and sun (people who are also craving more connections, we’ll come back to them later) that pulls her back in. And guess what? She didn’t have to change one bit. They accepted her just the way she is. Love, respect and acceptance will come but they will come to a version that is authentically us. The whole show is a journey of ongsa figuring out that lesson. 

Aylin, my favorite little alien, how long have you been screaming for someone to listen? At face value it seems like she’s the only character in the show that doesn’t care if she makes a connection with a human. With her constant insistence of “I don’t associate with human” and air of indifference. But that’s not really true. She is perhaps the most human character in the show. She spends countless hours of her life trying and desperately hoping that there is something out there that understands her. She was betrayed by her own kind and in her own desperation to find a connection she looked outside to something that might or might not exist but it’s the possibility that keeps her going. What’s more inherently human than that? We as a society spend millions on exploring outer space for the hope that we are not alone in the universe. Aylin just wants someone who is willing to sit with her and wait.

Ironically, ongsa and Aylin’s situations are mirrors of each other. They are just two people desperate to make a connection with someone else. They just adopted different ways to deal with that desperation. We are all searching for the same thing. The need and want for human connection. All of us are screaming into the endless void of the universe hoping to find someone who understands and responds. But unfortunately for so long, ongsa and aylin found out that sound doesn’t travel in space. The worst part is not only sitting alone in our own darkness and loneliness, but feel like we’re the only ones doomed to see it. 

Sun's need for connection is pretty straightforward and is mostly focused on romantic love. Sun is so desperate for a romantic connection that she feels like she's been lacking for so long. We are still unsure if Sun has ever had a crush on someone before, but she seemed pretty confused as to why she was reacting to ongsa's presence (ma'am that's called lesbianism). She thought she found that connection with Earth and in a desperate ploy to keep that connection she makes reckless decisions that only end up hurting her more.

This ended up WAYYY longer that I expected, but I just needed to get it out there. Not sure if anyone cares about my thoughts but I am throwing my opinion out there anyways.

[candeathbereal]

Astro observations

Placements included are Aries Mercury, Aries Sun, Aries Mars, Taurus Mars, Taurus Moon, and Gemini Mercury.

Aries Mercury

Alright you greedy fucks! Let's get into this. Like many Aries placements there are the general themes of independence, impulsivity, and chaos. I know I come off rude sometimes but that is only because I have said words in the wrong tone. Other times I’m actually trying to be rude. Here is my fun advice for people as a whole: Take a risk and be okay with someone not liking you. If one person doesn’t like you remember there is a dog that will love you more than that person ever could. Now if there are multiple people that actively dislike you, I got nothing. And even then if you're a earth mercury...are you really listening to a fire mercury? I usually get along well with earth placements but earth mercuries are a whole different thing bruh. Taurus mercuries are okay...unless you disagree with them and act like I do in an argument (with passion) because then you better hope their mars isn't in another fixed sign. Idk take what you can from that. I would say something about Virgo and Capricorn mercuries but I haven't really met too many. Plus most Virgo mercuries I have met also have a Leo sun and Taurus moon so it would be wrong of me to really say much about Virgo mercuries since Taurus and Leo placements (together) will dominant your shit most times. Anyways let's move onto the actually rest of the post.

Aries Sun

The pain of being a bad bitch. Lol idk that pain tho. Most post I have seen has labeled us as wild and childish. In actuality tho that is more likely Aries mars than Aries sun. I do wonder if the degree your sun is in affects the expression. It’s actually a moment cause Aries is exalted in the sun placement. I have an Aries sun at the 17th degree which is a Leo degree. Plus I have a Leo rising so I do wonder if that affected me in any way.

Aries Mars

Damn. I don’t have much to say besides please make sure to check on people after you get mad at them. Like it’s okay to feel anger and express it but idk sometimes people get hurt deeply by that expression. I don’t have too much experience with Aries mars people and Scorpio mars people. I can only go off by the two people I have met with either mars sign. Which are my grandma and my mom respectively. I will get into that another post so yeah sorry for the lack of stuff rn.

Taurus Moon

Indulgence. Depending on the sun sign there could be a lot of emotional repression from my experience. I love you guys…unless there is a Leo sun with the Taurus moon. Idk why but I’ve had so many issues with that combo. It isn’t because of the fixed sun fixed moon. My sister is a double Taurus, and my boyfriend is a Scorpio sun Taurus moon. And I love them both very much. I get along great even with other fixed sign sun and moon combos. Leo sun and Taurus moon however…nah.

Honestly I haven't figured out why I'm so erked by Leo sun and Taurus moon. I mean I'm a Leo rising and my MC is in Taurus so I feel like I could be missing something. Anyways Taurus moons are great. I have a lot of respect for you guys and your ability to just defend yourselves when someone says something about you that you know isn't the right thing about you. Even if everyone else in the room agrees with that person your ass is still going "I am not like that and that is that". Even with a prominent libra placements this seems to be a common thing among the Taurus moons I have met. I know someone with a Libra sun, Venus, and Mars and they will stand their ground when it comes to things being placed onto them and their character when they know it isn't right. At first I thought "maybe their Scorpio mercury has something to help with this" but then I remember my dad.

He has a Pisces sun and mercury with a Taurus moon and mars and an Aries Venus I think. If you are just arguing with him on something he is willing to listen to your point and I enjoyed that the most while I was growing up. As an fire dominant person arguing is my way to be vulnerable with people. If I don't trust that you will listen to me or if I don't want to be close to you emotionally, I will just not talk to you. And when I disagree with something you said, I will not just continue on with my day because I don't want to listen to stuff that bores me aka you. Now back to what I was saying about my dad. He and I enjoyed arguing about anything and everything but if I felt overwhelmed by shit he would literally comfort me. So he is okay with stopping a disagreement. Now I bring that up because I have seen him argue with other people and when they try to place a character trait onto him or someone he cared about, he will stand his ground if you are wrong in his eyes. I don't know if that made any sense but honestly that is the only way I can think of describing the thing that I have noticed about Taurus moons.

Taurus Mars

Sometimes I wonder what you guys feel because I can’t really guess what you guys are feeling fully. Especially if you have a mutable moon. Now the two Taurus mars I can think of is my dad and my brother. They both have two Taurus placements each (my dad as said previously has a Taurus moon as well as a Taurus mars, and my brother has a Taurus sun with his Taurus mars). Personally I rarely saw my dad angry but I have seen my brother angry when we were younger. My brother would get red in the face from yelling especially when arguing with our sister. Two Taurus suns with fixed mars refusing to back down...surprising. Now he has calmed down a fuck ton since then. Luckily he doesn't have to be as angry as he used to be.

Gemini Mercury

My besties no matter what you say I will accept the foolishness. Oh and if you have a Gemini Venus as well bruh. I will be chaotic. It is a simple fact that Gemini placements tend to make me go feral, just pure chaos. I think sag mercuries have the same effect on me but I never know how to deal with them properly. Gemini Mercury tho…bitch I’m swinging off that one loose tile on the ceiling…that makes no sense but it doesn’t matter right now. Sometimes I worry about you guys’ mental state but idk maybe you have daddy issues I won’t judge.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

I do love your takes because they mirror mine in a way, I am curious about your take on François relationship with Ludwig and partly with Antonio too. Alasdair is a free soul like him, there's not much to say about it there I think. Baby brother stole everything even the french menace and it bothers him but won't stop him. I do wonder about your take on Alfred's own relationship with Ludwig and the italian brothers. I hc he and the south get along really well but he clashes with North Italy bc he doesn't understand why Italy hides behind his airheadness. I know I'm in anon, sorry but I have many things on my mind and don't want to develop my own op right now bc it will take time to write it down

Ohh yess

Ok just a heads up, this is an expansion on the previous François post:

Ludwig and François have an interesting dynamic. At first glance it might seem like they are polar opposites in almost every aspect. And who knows that might be true, but there is an appeal to me of the sad depressed and drinking-wine-in-bathtub-at-3-am François calling up Ludwig just to chat and get reassurance that it'll be fine. Ludwig is young. He feels like he needs to prove himself on this old world continent. He feels the need to work more just to get to where the rest are. And as an economic powerhouse, he feels somewhat responsible for keeping the peace. Though, despite that, he is kind. And in the recent years (cough cough after Brexit cough cough gurgle fall over die) he and François have gotten close. As close as the ghosts of the past will allow, at least. So, if there is anyone willing to talk to, and even come over and make sure the Frenchman is not drowning in the bathtub or the wine, it's the german lad. Even if he's just sitting on the toilet, laptop on lap, doing work and listening to François' rants. It's the kinda dynamic François can relax in. He doesn't enjoy Ludwigs quiet company always, but it's a nice break from bickering with Arthur and debating with Alfred.

Antonio is a different story. They are very similar in their worldviews and mindsets. Two past empires grown up under Rome (more or less) and getting dunked on by the rat man extraordinaire and his big fat rat baby. If François is going to do dumb shit and get plastered in the town center, he's doing it with Antonio. Gil is also included. They are not the type of friends to talk about their feelings and go emotional on each other. But, naturally there is mutual respect and understanding. "The world has changed and its pace is too fast for us now."

Alasdair is someone who has seen and stood next to François for a very long time. I think he understands the inner workings of François better than most. And, in a certain way, better than even Arthur. From the fall of Rome to the 7 years war, Alasdair kept frequent contact with the man, both physical and if unable to visit, by letters. Alasdair is the one trapped between worlds and emotions after the Treaty of Versailles in 1763. Matthew, whom he adores so much, was abandoned by the man he deeply feels for. And in times like these it's very human to take sides, despite actively trying to understand each party. Alasdair chose Matthew. A boy he almost saw as his own. And François felt the shift. Less frequent letters and visits, as well as somewhat reserved communication when in person. They are still important to each other and always will be. But nations, in my hc are very human. I understand the appeal of making them non human eldritch beings, but i think they are very very human in their emotional and mental capacities and understandings of the world. Wiser and more experienced sure, but human non the less.

You also mentioned Alfred and the Italy bros. I'll do a separate post on their dynamic. However ye i do agree, Alfred and Romano are closer than Alfred and Feli. But what i will add is that Alfred doesn't dislike or find Feli off-putting due to the mask of airheadness. It's the fact that Alfred does the same and knows what it's used for and how it works that doesn't sit right with him. He knows the mask is a front for a sharp mind and knows that there is intelligence behind it.

[yuki2sksksk]

Can we please see more of your KNY Roleswap AU?

What was his name again? That boy had a twin too, right? They were with the Kakushi, but right now, as Nezuko wiped away her sweats, she noticed that this twin was alone and wasn't in an attire like the kakushi. Instead of the brown uniform set with masks, the boy wore something resembling a slayer's. He was sitting by himself on the porch, and despite the cloudy eyes, his eyebrows were furrowing as if he was in a deep thought.

Nezuko decided to greet him.

" Excuse me. " She said with a bright smile. " Hello, I am Nezuko. "

The boy snapped out of his trance, turning to look at her. He blinked, not responding to her for a moment before nodding.

" I know you. You're the slayer that carries a demon around. "

The girl scratched her cheek, her smile turned nervous. " Guess I don't really have a good reputation now, do I? You're one of the twin right? I've seen you working with the Kakushi. "

" Yes. I am Tokitou Muichiro. " The boy introduced himself.

Nezuko took a seat next to him. " If I may ask, why are you wearing a different uniform than before? Did the fabric tear or something? I can fix it! I am very good with needles and sewing! " She patted her chest confidently.

Muichiro tilted his head, a ghostly smile on his face as he looked down to his uniform. " The Moon Hashira gave it to me. He's...a relative. " His expression dropped, a rather sad pout made with his lips. " When my twin and I were toddlers, our parents were attacked by a demon. The Moon Hashira saved us and took us in. He started to train us to become slayers but then we decided to stop halfway and instead became a kakushi instead. "

" I am not one to judge, but why stopping halfway? " Nezuko wondered.

Muichiro sighed. " My brother suddenly claimed that he didn't want to become a slayer -- he also forbid me to become one too. The Moon Hashira -- Kokushibou -- respected out decision and let us be. But I know Kokushibou was disappointed. He saw potential in me and my twin. This uniform was a handmade for me when I become a slayer. It didn't happen, but I am wearing this right now because my kakushi uniform got dirty and is currently being hung under the sun. This is the only one clothing I have for now. "

" I see. " The dark-haired girl hummed. " So...since you went along with your brother, I guess you didn't want to become a slayer? "

Muichiro flinched, a single sweat dropped. He bit his lips and looked away, earning a suspicious look from Nezuko. She leaned forward a little, trying to get a better look on the boy.

"...You want to become a slayer? "

With hesitance, and very slowly, Muichiro nodded, glancing at her from his shoulders.

Nezuko frowned. " Then why didn't you say anything to your brother? To Kokushibou-san? "

" It's...not that easy, Nezuko. My brother -- Yuichiro -- I know that he means well and he always takes care of me...but he has a rather violent reaction. I am sure he would be angry if he knows that I am still willing to become a slayer. "

" Have you try talking to him? "

" I shrunk at the high volume of his voice whenever he yells. "

" Well, this is unfair to you! " Nezuko huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. " If your brother can't even listen to you, then I am going to make him! "

Muichiro's eyes widened at the sight of the girl going to her feet, a stern expression on her face as she placed her hands on her hips. He unconsciously grabbed the sleeve of her shirt, tugging her back down.

" I don't think that would be wise. " He reasoned, still surprised at how she immediately decided to face Yuichiro to defend him.

Nezuko turned, slipped her hands around the boy's hands and held it firmly. " If it's not me who do the talking, then you will! You have a voice to defend your right! It's the heart that drives the people, Muichiro. If your heart tells you to follow the path of being a slayer, then follow your heart! "

She patted his shoulder encouragingly. " You can do this! I wish you good luck! All right, I need to go back to training or Douma-san will hunt me down. See you again, Muichiro! Oh, and if your brother still refuses to listen to you, then tell me and I'll go straight to him."

The girl turned and walked away. Muichiro stuttered a little and stumbled in his steps as he stood up. " Wait! W-What will you do if you have to go see my brother? "

Nezuko turned around. " I'll make sure to talk some sense into him! Everyone has the right to voice out their opinions. You have the right to decide what you want to be, Muichiro. You can be whatever you want to. No one else should tell you what you have to be. Just you. "

When she gave him a smile, it was as if the air was knocked out of his lungs. Is it the lighting? She looked as twice as beautiful than the first time he saw her. Muichiro felt his neck getting warmer, noticing there was an increasing beating of his heart in his chest.

" Take care! " Nezuko waved her arm, disappearing into a corner.

Muichiro looked down to his uniform, his hands twisting the fabric in his grips. He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. One last deep inhale and exhale, he opened back his eyes and a flash of determination were seen in his eyes.

Time to seek Yuichiro.

[lemmetreatya]

home for new years — husband!reiner x fem!reader

contents: fluff, sex, m!pen

happy new years to everyone!! last fic for the year but not the last from me! the last 4 months on here have been great and i cant wait to see what 2023 brings us! thank you to everyone whos supported me and my work so far i love u all MWAH! 🫶🏾🫶🏾

home for new years will have you declining invitations and calls from your friends who are asking both you and reiner to back the nye party sasha and niccolo are hosting.

“i’m sorry, sash! not this year. me and reiner already planned to just have a night in between the both of us.”

“but you can come and spend it together with us!” she’d whine into the receiver.

you could only chuckle at her. even though she may have come across as invasive or unregarding of the quality time you’ve decided to dedicate to spend with your spouse, you knew she came from a place of love.

sasha wasnt the only one. both of your respective messages were blowing up; relatives who lived in different countries already wishing you the new years well due to their forward timezones, friends asking about the motives and misc notifications.

none of them, however, were as adamant as reiner’s younger cousin.

“why cant i spend new years with you two?! if you’re only staying home then that means you’re not doing anything important.” gabi moaned.

“what we want to do is important enough that we dont need you around. we literally spent christmas eve, christmas day and even boxing day with you, isnt that enough?” your husband responded.

reiner was definitely tired of gabis back and forth notion that she practically needed to be in your hair on all seasonal events. even though he was too kind to say it to her face, he definitely made it known to you through the agitated expressions he occasionally made behind her back.

“no, it’s not enough! there’s no reason for you not to see me if you’re free.” she haggled.

reiner sighed loudly. you could tell that he was tapping out from the argument as from the way he rested his head against the sofa back.

seeing him no longer want to entertain his cousin, you decided to step in. with an easy smile, you replied to her instead.

“just because we’re staying home it doesn’t mean we’re free.”

she didn’t say anything but she definitely considered your argument a lot easier than she did reiner’s. reiner always said she listened to you better.

“if it makes for anything, we can spend new years day together?” you kindly offered.

gabi huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest and bounced herself onto the couch.

“that’s such a cheap excuse. no one does anything on new years. it’s a free holiday. you wouldn’t be sacrificing anything to be with me, you guys don’t even go nowhere. i am literally the only fun in your lives.”

even though you were surprised at her level of rebuttal, you couldn’t help but laugh aloud at the twelve year olds words. whilst you and reiner may not be the childless lavish-life living adults she wanted you to be, she still seemed to want to spend every waking moment with you both.

but alas, you and reiner were okay with that life for now because it meant you had room to spend new years at home.

you didn’t have to worry about childcare expenses or who was willing to have your kin on a holidays like this. you didn’t even have to worry about answering to anyone for anything. you both had the night to spend it within each other and that alone was the reason you were fine with how things were.

“i’m really happy we’re spending new years like this.”

reiner placed the last platter down onto the coffee, the look on his face giddy as sat down next to you.

“same. i feel like we don’t get to spend a lot of our holidays with it just being the two of us. it’s a nice change.” you replied, fingers already sneaking into one of the snacks.

reiner’s arms found solace over your shoulders, his warmth already seeping into you as you pressed play on the remote which started up the movie.

“we should deffo do it more often then.”

he said more quietly due to his awareness of the movie starting. still, looking down at you, reiner couldn’t help but plant a closed mouth kiss to your temple.

“deffo.” you agreed, your attention already captivated with the movie introduction.

there was no doubt; reiner would definitely treasure this new years.

throughout the year, the two of you were always so busy. if it wasn’t work then it was extra-curricular commitments and even in between those times, the both of you were deeply involved with the lives of your family and friends.

deciding to simply spend it with just the two of you was a well curated decision. really and truly, the both of you could have spared yourselves once again and indulged with the lives of others.

but deciding to chose each other just this once was the best decision you could have ever made.

“god, i love you so much.”

reiner endearingly muttered into your ears as he pumped himself in and out of you. the soft whimpers you poured out into his were just as sweet as your arms hooked around his neck.

“i-love you too, rei.” you breathed, the feeling of his dick stretching your insides so familiar yet estactic.

and oh how you did love this man because when he first offered for the both of you to ditch all new year plans just so he could spend it with you, in you, you couldn’t help but to allow him what he wished.

making love to reiner in the most enchanting low light and soft candle glow was such a way to go into the new years.

rough and lustful sex had its place and it was definitely one of your favourite past times with reiner. but there was none of that right now. there was no biting, rough handling, guttural or carnal intent, nothing.

just you and reiner underneath the blankets, vulnerable and opened for the other to indulge in.

and you loved that, because this, was how you wanted to spend new years. with reiner, and totally enamoured by him.

and just as the neighbouring fireworks bursted outside your bedroom window, and your phones simultaneously buzzed with texts, you couldn’t think of a better way to go into the next age but within his arms.

with the indication that you had been graced into a new year, the both of you wispily smiled into the others embrace.

reiner continued to chase his climax as he lightly kissed the top of your shoulder, his face then burying into the crook of your neck

“ha-happy new year, baby.” he said with a grin, his hands still working over your curves beneath the duvet.

“happy…new year to you too, rei.” you muttered back, your hands gently caressing the short bristled hairs on the back of his neck.

[the12thnightproject]

@echoes-in-the-forest asked

I hope I'm not too late in sending this letter to you both. But I have a problem and I desperately need your advice. There's this boorish man that keeps coming around my town. He makes me so mad and always calls me names, and no - they're not pet names either. I wish he would stay away, but I also can't stop thinking about him. Sometimes he does things that are a little cute and surprisingly nice? And deep down, I think he might actually be caring and considerate (although in a roundabout confusing way). I once saw him sampling different desserts in order to decide which one was the best to purchase for someone. Maybe his dad or older brother? And to top it off, I discovered that he's my bestie's bestie. So I don't think I'll really be able to get away from him, but I also don't know how to act around him either. What should I do? Hope all is well. It's been pretty stormy lately. Yours truly, Frustrated Female

Dear F.F.

Angel, I will have a talk with him.

[Lord Shingen, how do you know who to have a long talk with? Do you know the letter writer? - Yuki]

A… very long talk with him.

Perhaps I am revealing a state secret here, but some men are not skilled in verbal communication. Let me amend that… so people are less able to speak with others, be it because they are shy, or because they are not able to put their inner life into words, or… yes, in some cases, they are too rude to care how they come across.

I very much suspect that your boorish man is in the second category. But fear not. When you run across people like this, rather than listen to what they say, watch what they do. It’s clear that you have already been watching, because you’ve pointed out that this man’s actions are “cute” and “nice” and that you believe that deep down he is caring and considerate. Furthermore, he’s attracted the friendship of someone that you like and respect, and I imagine your friend would not be friends with them if they were not a worthwhile person.

[Wait a minute. “Bestie” “Boorish” …? This sounds rather familiar. - ModeratelyAwesomeNinja]

[Keep up, Sasuke - Yoshimoto]

[Apparently, more than one long talk is in my future - Tiger of Kai]

Since you appear to have given him a lot of thought, I suspect that you like this man more than you’re willing to admit. How to act around him? This man will need a lot of patience. First he might not understand what is going on inside of him, and when he does understand, he might not know what to do. Your verbal interactions could potentially get worse before they get better. Just keep in mind that actions very much speak louder than words. 

Your actions will speak to him louder than words too. If you behave in a kind and considerate manner to those around you, if you champion those who need help, if you are a generous friend… all of that will be valued by this man, far more than what you say to him. 

As for the storm? Well, a little bit of teasing and a friendly argument is generally rather harmless as long as you avoid being purposefully hurtful. And, Angel, the best part of fighting… is making up later, as emotion, even anger and teasing, can bring people closer together.

[Lord Shingen, I have a bad feeling about this. - Yuki]

Meanwhile, I’ll begin a lecture series for an audience of young men who very much need to hear it.

Best of Luck,

Tiger of Kai

This is not all that Art of Love has to offer. Check out @lorei-writes for the God GOOD of War’s answer to your question.

[lumenflowered]

Unown Mail: A paper butterfly. A message writ across its wings reads:

"Speak your message, whispered low Finish with name, then let me go I'll send to them your words spoke true Then they may send more back to you This gift I give just once per soul Let words bring closure, make you whole"

It seems you have been gifted an opportunity. You get the sense that your message will be received, even if the recipient may no longer be of this world. Best choose your words carefully.

...Hello, my old friend.

It has been a very long time. Longer, perhaps, for you than it has been for me... though I suppose that would depend on how the years and decades have been counted. I cannot be certain of how long it has been, trapped within the domain of an angered Great One as I was, but I suppose you would not be certain of how long it has been since you made a pact with one yourself.

I distinctly recall a great many discussions regarding that possibility. I also distinctly recall that every single person you voiced that possibility to, myself included, was quite certain that the whims of the Great Ones were too difficult to predict. That the risks would rather drastically outweigh the benefits.

Under different circumstances, I would wonder what could possibly drive you of all people to do such a thing. Given what else I have been informed of, however, I suppose I know.

...I am typically of the opinion that it is better to know than to live in ignorance. With that said, I could have done without the knowledge of what else you have done.

I know, old friend. I know.

I know that you may very well have met with a deadly fate in spite of your deal with that presence. I know that, long prior to that—prior, even, to making that deal—you crafted something in my image.

A doll.

Very nearly life-sized, startlingly true to life, clad in garb that I would never wear yet adorned with my voice and likeness. Alive, in a sense, in that dream of yours.

I see her in my nightmares, old friend. Alongside the curse Kos wrought on me, and perhaps upon others as well. Did you ever dream of the ocean? Of the tension in the air just prior to a thunderstorm? Of the crimes we visited upon that hamlet?

...One simply must wonder. Of everyone there on that terrible, terrible day, it was you who was most likely to attract her ire after me... yet you never mentioned such a thing. Nor did I, not until shortly before the end, and I was... less than mentally present by the time I was willing to admit it.

I suppose how little I wasted words may have been part of why you liked me. I respected you for a great many reasons, but I did always appreciate that about you as well. If you cared to say something at all, others listened, for they knew that you did not speak without due cause.

...I would rather like to think that I came to be thought of in something approaching the same way, before the end. I was not the First Hunter, of course, but I was his apprentice, and you taught me much indeed.

Still, I digress.

To perish in one realm may not be so very enduring, so long as one's soul is tethered to another. I know that it was Kos that tethered me to the Hunter's Nightmare for so long, and a new student of yours who finally freed me from it. She fought well; under better circumstances I would be proud.

I can only truly speculate as to what tethered me to this one, but I do wonder if perhaps death is not so final as we all thought. Perhaps it is less of an end, and more of a beginning, for I have found myself in a strange yet kind new world.

...Or perhaps it is something to do with me in specific, but I would rather not consider that possibility unless needs must.

Perhaps, when you yourself pass on—or if you already have, for I cannot be certain of this—you too will find yourself in a strange new world. It may be selfish of me to hope for such a thing, but hope I nevertheless do that you are in a different world than I. Or, if you find yourself in this one, that you are at least far away from me.

I did respect you greatly—as a mentor, as a fellow Hunter, as a friend and colleague. Some semblance of that respect yet remains, but I will confess that it has... drastically lessened with the knowledge of that doll.

To business, then.

I do not believe that the strange ability allowing me to send you this, to tell you this, will allow me to contact you in this manner again. It will, however, allow you to respond.

So I do have a question.

Regarding that doll: why? What in the name of the Great Ones themselves gave you the impression that such an act would do anything but further your grief and my own? Why would you make such a creation?

...I do have a sneaking suspicion, now, one that I would not have entertained for even an instant prior to my death. I would rather hear it from you, if that truly is the case.

Do not expect to hear from me again, in any manner.

Still. I do hope you are well, wherever you might be.

I merely hope, all the same, that you may be well as far away from me as possible.

There was no opportunity for me to say goodbye before my original death. Say it now I will, for then and for today.

Farewell for the final time... Gehrman.

[evakuality]

4 years of Druck s3 - week 7

Things of note in this episode:

1.  This is probably my favourite episode and so this is likely to be lengthy!

2.  I really love how this conversation with Hans differs from the og.  In a lot of ways I prefer this one, unlike the one in episode 5.  In this, first, Matteo says ‘if it makes you happy’ he’ll call him his guru and I love that change in the dynamic.  Plus, I really do love that Hans is attuned enough to religion that he takes Matteo into church to have this conversation (and so Matteo’s mother does in a way see him in church that day).  I think it’s very important that a lot of Matteo’s issues about all this stem from religion and so taking him into a place of religion to demystify it is so important.  Also, Hans’s advice about David isn’t that he’s probably playing Matteo (as Eskild suggests to Isak), but that he’s probably not out and needs time and respect for that or to be left alone.  It resonates in a different way, and the fact that this religious breakthrough happens at Easter is a really lovely touch.  Plus we get the whole bit about Matteo’s mother, and he’s able to come to terms with her and her issues in a way that leaves him much calmer and more at peace.  Compare the above picture to this one from the start of the episode:

This earlier Matteo was so sad and he was at seas and all confused.  But at least he knew that going to Hans would help - and was able to do it even when Hans had been so upset with him before.  And kudos to Hans for seeing past all that and recognising that Matteo genuinely does need a gay guru and being that person for him.  This conversation has done exactly what Matteo needed it to and he’s so much happier and more at ease both with the David thing and with his mother.  

3.  Speaking of religion, this whole bit with Amira is a) so lovely and b) so important.  After their previous discussion, this has needed to be addressed and she does it in such a gracious way - which he returns.  I do think that without the chat with Hans he may have been less keen to hear what Islam thinks about homosexuality but together these two conversations have really helped him unpack some of his prejudices about religion, and he is far more willing and able to open up to hi9s mother with the hope that she won’t reject him.  I absolutely love that ‘for Easter’ Amira’s family has made some food to share, thus showing Matteo that religion can be open and accepting of other faiths, cultures and lifestyles.  Amira doesn’t just tell him she and her religion accept him, she shows him and it’s very powerful.  Even if her bringing outside food into a cafe worries me, since you’re absolutely not allowed to do it here.

4.  I really love the colours in this episode - they’re so much warmer and more cheerful than the previous ones.  Partly that’s because this was Easter and the colours work really well for that time of year.  But also because Matteo is starting to warm up and open up into his new self.  I am, once again, so impressed by the way light and colour is used in this show.  It’s just soooo goooooood.

I also love how much Carlos has grown - Kiki has such strong views and she wants everyone to agree with them.  In a lot of her life, people just don’t (I imagine Zoe must be such a stress for her, for example), but Carlos, who has been shown as a bit of a lad and quite ignorant and occasionally offensive, has taken it all on board and you can see it in the way he acts and the things he says now.  He enjoys his new knowledge and certainly has a lot of sensitivity to people and their relationships.  He’s the one who knew things were off with Matteo and Sara, and he’s the one who moves to listen actively to Matteo here and who says things he hopes are supportive and encouraging.

5.  Sara.  This poor kid.  We see here the culmination of everything that’s been going wrong in her life and it must have been so hard seeing Matteo in the midst of all this.  But I like to think that she feels lighter and happier after this is done.  We do know what she reaches out to Leonie after Matteo suggests that talking to people helps.  If we compare this picture of her to the way she was shown in s1 and even 2, she’s so diminished, shot from above and looks so weak and vulnerable.  Even compared to the social media post she made wearing this exact outfit, she looks different.  But it’s maybe like a wound being lanced - like Matteo she was trying to put up a facade, live a fake life in that earlier post.  But now she’s able to be real and yeah that hurts but it’s better and they will both be able to move on and be happier more authentic people in the aftermath.

6.  Speaking of hurting - Matteo makes so much great progress this episode and he’s able to become a happier and more settled person.  But at the core is this boy who misses the boy he thought he was creating something nice with.  He told Hans he ‘can’t believe’ that David doesn’t want him and I think that makes this even harder.  The pictures and videos David sends are sending him mixed messages.  On one hand, he’s keeping up the contact and trying to maintain something with Matteo - on the other, this stuff is all ‘it’s not you it’s me’ ‘in a different life we’d be in Detroit’ etc etc.  There’s no hint that things can be ‘real’ between them in this life and so Matteo keeps having these small moments of sadness throughout the episode.

7.  And so that’s why this whole part is tinged with a melancholy.  Unlike in other versions, there’s no passion here, no ‘throwing caution to the wind’ or anything.  Instead it’s so gentle and cautious, so fragile.  There’s a sigh of relief that David is here, but neither of them is at ease.  Of course, we start to understand David’s thing the next day.  But even here it’s so clear why Matteo feels the way he does - everything since David told him he’s not into him has been such a rollercoaster that it’s not possible for him to throw caution to the wind.  He’s felt so much sadness and heartbreak about David even this week that he can’t allow himself to fully dive into this moment.  And of course we’re left with this shot of David’s face and we get to see that he’s not happy either.  It’s a long long few hours til the next morning and David’s secret!

[hot-take-tournament]

hi, I'm the original Barbie movie hot take submitter. now that the poll's over and with about 80 people agreeing with me in total (which is honestly way more than i was expecting...) i guess... yeah i should probably address some of these comments, because i don't know which are in good faith and which aren't, but like i said at the beginning of my justification, it's something that's really important to me on a personal level and i saw at least a few people expressing sympathy or wanting to understand better where i was coming from. (again I'm autistic and i can't be sure it wasn't just sarcastic remarks, but it looked like at least a few people were willing to listen.)

this sentence here is your warning that I'm going to continue to talk about my experience. if you hated my take and/or were disturbed by it and would be upset to empathize with my point of view any further, this is your reminder to just stop reading here.

...

so first of all, i did hold myself back, writing that submission. i mentioned upfront that i kept it short, but i guess it only looks shortened if you know how much i have to say about it. i didn't even know if it would make it in so i did gloss over a couple things that may have led to misinterpretation (though a lot of those notes felt like a "how dare you say we piss on the poor" sort of moment (reference to a response on a different post, which accused Tumblr users of having "piss-poor reading comprehension")).

....anyway, this is a more comprehensive and thorough version of my viewpoint. it is long.

the first thing i would like to address is that i noticed a lot of people saying i was pulling it out of nowhere and "projecting (derogatory??)". and.... like.... yes. i know that. i basically said so explicitly when i said "I disliked this movie for heavily personal reasons". that's the point of submitting it to a hot takes blog; this is something that i think most people will disagree with me on, because it's nowhere near the "objective" interpretation of the movie, but it's something that a select few might resonate very strongly with. this movie didn't actually say any of the things that I said it did, on an explicit level. but there were undertones of it the whole way through that triggered multiple breakdowns since its release, because of my particular media sensitivities that i didn't know would be in this movie. you can think of it like I'm accusing this movie of having "traces of peanuts" rather than being a peanut dish. if I'm allergic to peanuts it still sucks, and is unsafe for people with my triggers. (still my fault for going to see the movie, it's not like it's immoral for it to have triggering topics in it. I just regret it and am bitter that everyone seems to unanimously agree that it has no problems, that's all.) I also see that a lot of people were not bothered by these same things that I was, and I respect that. And I'm glad that people were able to enjoy it— my intention was mostly "it seems like no one hated this movie but me. did anyone else share this interpretation?".

...honestly, the movie itself, on an objective level, wasn't actually too horrible. it was kind of sad and depressing, but i would've left it feeling kind of mediocre if it weren't for its online boom. everyone seems to be praising this movie for being incredible and groundbreaking and progressive, but like this other anon said (https://www.tumblr.com/hot-take-tournament/724649240320671744/while-everyone-is-already-arguing-over-the-barbie?source=share), it really... just feels like politically regressing, to me. speaking as someone who is various flavors of non-binary (multigender), and who is transgender and intersex, i am extremely passionate about gender rights. and this movie felt the same as really old radfem ideals of feminism that boiled down to "what if we kept the gender essentialism but we made it so (cis) women were good and sacred (but still perceived as weak, helpless, useless, etc.)". I saw many similar sentiments in the notes of the original poll that I agreed with, saying the movie barely was feminist if at all. I especially agreed with someone (don't remember who) who mentioned that it was kind of misogynistic and backwards for all the women to get brainwashed instantly the moment someone suggests a patriarchy. this movie really said "women are just helpless little children that deserve the world, and the men need to carefully watch what they do and be kept in check, because if they get too confident they're naturally inclined to establish dictatorships and be cruel and evil to the women! and of course the women would roll over and accept it if that happened because they're just helpless little lambs that can't think for themselves" like how is that feminist? i thought everyone was on the same page here that women are people. like people with agency that can do things. and the movie just felt extremely.... belittling of women's actual capability to do things, and demonizing of men's emotions. like i thought these were points that we've already been through, societally. but no. "best feminist movie", "so progressive", "groundbreaking".... like... what?? it's groundbreaking because... there was a patriarchy and no one's ever done that before??? like what is this, the feminism version of "Disney's first gay character"??? is it progressive because Barbie had One Conversation with an old lady who was (sarcastic gasp) happy??? (Admittedly that scene was pretty sweet, I'm not actually upset about that one. but like why is that the highlight i keep seeing everyone come away with. like is it groundbreaking for one (1) old person to be happy?? i would've preferred if there were like. you know. just reasonable casual representation for diverse bodies (but that's ok I wasn't expecting something like that from a mainstream movie anyway.))

...and since a lot of people were upset that I didn't address Barbie herself: yeah, ok, I think the existential crisis stuff was pretty neat, I think she genuinely did a decent amount of growing over the course of the movie, I think her character arc wasn't too bad if you look at it from her point of view. but i think, like ken, she needs to be held accountable for the things she did BEFORE that character growth. a lot of people in the notes mentioned her "forgiveness" at the end, and... yeah, I guess I will admit that's "groundbreaking" for a movie this mainstream, but that is not a compliment. it felt so hollow to me, and again that's just "projection" because when I say "it felt hollow", I mean that it sounds exactly like things I was told by toxic friends as a kid. but I think a certain amount of projection is necessary to empathize with a movie, at least the way I watch them. I don't think that relating stories to your own experience is a bad thing.

.... right, back to barbie's whole thing with "forgiveness". to forgive someone is to put yourself in a social position "above" their own. it's unequal by nature— it creates a social unbalance where one party "forgives" (gracious, generous, implied power of judgement over the other) and the other party "has sinned" (in the wrong, by default should be punished, deserves to suffer unless they properly repent). this sort of punitive structure was used against me and some people close to me and so I have extremely personal triggers around disingenuous apologies and forgiveness. (no, I'm not saying that forgiving people is evil, and I'm not saying that Ken did nothing wrong. this is about Barbie now.)

i don't think Barbie should have forgiven Ken. and i don't think Ken should have forgiven Barbie, either (though he was never given the option, because that would be admitting that she treated him like garbage). i think if Barbie was going to "forgive" Ken, if she really wanted to have a real platonic relationship with Ken at the end of the movie, she should have first acknowledged that she had never been a good friend to him, that he was never treated well on a base human relationship level. and i think she should have apologized for it. a real apology where she empathizes and understands how she hurt him and tries to do better, and acknowledges that she was just as lost as he was. and then lets him forgive her, too. but instead she just cuts straight to her own "forgiveness", skipping past any potential accusations of her own treatment of him, to assert her own dominance and center his own wrongdoings. I think they should have either BOTH admitted they didn't know what they were doing and were shitty to each other, or they should have both gone their separate ways bitterly and with their self confidence intact.

like I've seen some people saying, both on my dash and in the notes of this post, this is a tragic movie about two sad lost people trying to figure out how to break social conventions for the first time, trying to understand how to be more than just a Doll with a Role. and naturally, a movie like that has both of them acting shitty to each other within those roles; Barbie from the start of the movie, because she doesn't WANT a relationship with Ken and she seems to hold this against him, and Ken throughout the movie as he tries to understand why he never seems to be enough. Barbie repeatedly condescends upon and belittles him and is constantly aggravated with him and makes him feel small and burdensome and whiny and exaggerative. she makes fun of his fun names and treats him like a stupid and annoying child. and while some of you in the notes are out here laughing and saying "welcome to the real world for women", "that's just misogyny"— and?? is the moral here that misogyny is funny when it happens to men?? because it does happen to men. i know closeted trans men that are subjected to it every day and it just. seems so low to say "misogyny is good" ever. no matter what the end of that sentence is. to imply that some people can deserve misogyny and mistreatment "if they're men" or "if they're annoying" or "if they're clingy" like... this is part of why i submitted this take. i thought we were socially on the page that misogyny is wrong and sucks. and just because this worldbuilding sets it up so that only Kens experience misogyny doesn't make it suddenly just? either it's a human right to be treated with dignity, or you are supporting misogyny. there's no way to say "but it's funny if i can be vindictive about it" without accidentally validating that defense.

...I went on a tangent again. but what I mean is that Barbie herself was an ASSHOLE to Ken. she didn't want him around but felt obligated to support him, and the solution to that should be to make it so he can support himself. but instead she just feels burdened by him and takes it out on him by belittling his suffering and treating him like his every complaint and need were meaningless or annoying. should it have been her obligation to deal with all of his needs? fuck no! but to act like she could, and wanted to, like she was his friend, when she really just wanted to be free of him... that sucks. and it actively kept him shackled to her. and like, she didn't know better, but neither did Ken. they were both lost souls hurting one another by participating in the only thing they knew: an abusive power structure. the only thing Ken did wrong was.... also wanting to participate in that power structure from the "wrong end". it wasn't okay when Ken did it, but it's notable that Barbie did it first. and that they BOTH needed to apologize for treating each other like shit. and they BOTH needed to empathize with and forgive each other, knowing that they're in a better place now and that neither of them knew what they wanted before. they BOTH fucked up and they BOTH suffered for it. if both, or neither, of them had forgiven each other, then this would've just been an interesting and pretty sad movie with at least some resolution.

.... but INSTEAD what happened was that only Ken was shamed and felt like shit, because he crossed the line that Barbie was supposed to have total dominion over. and Barbie was never held accountable for her treatment of Ken, even though it came from the same misguided and hurtful place that Ken's actions did. I'm not claiming that what Ken did was good, or that he's a pathetic little meow meow and everyone hates him for no reason. but Barbie repeatedly condescends and bullies him at the start of the movie to take out her frustration with her situation, and while it's understandable why she's frustrated, that's not okay to do to him, just as much as it wasn't okay for Ken to "turn the tables" on her so to speak. this is kind of an eye for an eye situation. he only did to her what he had already been experiencing himself. and then for her to be the only one to "forgive", implies that it was okay to do to him, and therefore that it's only wrong if he does it.

misogyny is not okay just because you put it in a specific setting or applied it to specific people. and the same thing for pretending to be friends with someone you hate and then bullying them???. it's not "funny" when a woman attacks a man, and if you think it is, that's rooted in misogyny itself. because why else would you not see women as "real" threats or abusers? abuse could only possibly be twisted around into something funny if you think it can't cause real harm, and that's steeped in the sentiments that women are useless, powerless, and helpless, and that men are inherently powerful and able to control their situation. im sick of it. i feel like this movie genuinely pushed back gender equality by like 20 years. not everything is Men Versus Women and if you're centering the gender binary that much like it fucking means that much, you're erasing non-binary people too?? I'm just. I'm just sick of it, I'm sick of gender essentialism and stereotypes and hollow friendships. sighs. ok sorry this paragraph was just a vent.

anyway. this movie would not have impacted me this negatively if it weren't for the way I hear people talking about it. as if it's amazing and the next step in gender rights even though it basically devolved the understanding of gender back into "maybe............. do you think girls could do things? without dating a man..? or is that a little silly.... no wow!! actually yes! women can sometimes... not date!!". (making a spectacle out of obtaining basic relationship agency???) ...and this is mostly, again, just my own triggers, which over the course of this poll I am realizing are real triggers for me, but... yeah. reminds me of my tirf friend group that shamed anyone who was too forward or too masculine. that would nitpick at people's social mistakes to keep them in check and on their toes.

tldr; I'm so fucking tired of gender essentialism and I went to see this movie thinking it was progressive hot shit just to discover it was Social Shaming But It's Funny Because We're Subjecting Men To It This Time. not very funny when I know so many transmascs who are punished for being women when they aren't. and Ken fucked up, but Barbie fucked up too. neither of them were good for each other and they were hurting each other the whole time, but Barbie never owned up to it and then on top of that "forgave" Ken in a way that was just personally triggering for me. (Not evil, not necessarily malicious. but upsetting for me on a personal level because of my sensitivities).

anyway. thanks for reading if you did. I'm probably not gonna check the notes on this one but just know that it does mean a lot, the few people who did agree with me. I wasn't even expecting 80 people, maybe more like 20. I was fully expecting to get 98% ratioed, considering how positively everyone talks about this movie.

(i hope you have a great day too, mod! my apologies for how long and impassioned this got. I hope this take was entertaining for you at least??)

.

[the-ravenclaw-werewolf]

I would love see that! Tho I imagine some of the more dangerous ones are more far away. Tho like is villain organization also a part of this? Because I think it be interesting to see how some of them will reaction to how the other run. For example Shigaraki actually give the League of Villains more freedom and does treat them with respect. But someone like Muzan who is a control freak over Twelve Kizuki and willing to kill them off.

It would be interesting to see different teams of antagonists interact with each other. From arguing over their ideologies to trying to defend themselves (if they do at all) with their motives/backstory(s). Not the mentions the fights, like the Twelve Kizuki vs the League of Villains. (i.e. Toga vs Daiki or Dabi vs Doma)

Disclaimer:

However I, at first, tried to bring more than one villain from the same show since not all of these here are real antagonists, but then it would make watching these other shows pointless. And there will end up being more characters to keep track of. So I, and Entity, apologize in advance to all the normal people in this list.

(But whoever picks this up, it's up to them to do just 40 antagonists or pick just a few or more.)

(And remember, ALL of this is also subject to change since this just a bunch of ideas FUNINTHEEYEOFMADNESS and I came up together on the spot.)

🚨 THIS IS ALSO ANYONE'S MINOR SPOILER WARNING JUST IN CASE! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! 🚨

Title:

The Antagonist’s Role (Some Conventional)

or something else (In the title I’m trying to convey that these people are the antagonist to the protagonist, but some only fill in that role because of convention).

Synopsis:

Spin-off fic, (non-canon), where the Entity is feeling vindictive against the antagonists of the 40's stories, so it makes another dimension kidnaps the antagonists of the 40. It doesn’t want to take those who are innocent, but there will be an imbalance to the universes if it tries to take more than one from the same dimension, (excluding the 40).

Just like MCS (WE), it will be a reaction fic to their respective stories. However, since Entity wants to rub salt into the wound, the antagonist will also be reacting to what is happening with the 40 cast, showing that they are growing, healing, and all around just doing better than they are.

Characters:

Now some characters are obvious, but others are just antagonists by convention:

Cowboy Bebop: Vicious

Avatar: The Last Airbender: Ozai

Legend of Korra: Amon OR Unalaq OR Zaheer OR Kuvira

Ouran Highschool Host Club: Benio "Benibara" Amakusa (Everything about this woman wants to make me pull out my own hair!)

Death Note: Light Yagami

Black Butler: The Undertaker

Hetalia: Belarus (Listen… if RUSSIA is scared of her, then you need to run for the hills!)

Fullmetal Alchemist: Father

Blue Exorcist: Satan

Hunter x Hunter: Hisoka Morrow OR Chrollo Lucilfer OR Meruem

Kuroko’s Basketball: Daiki Aomine OR Seijūrō Akashi OR Makoto Hanamiya

Attack on Titan: Zeke Yeager

Danganronpa: Junko Enoshima

Free!: Rin Matsuoka (I know I shouldn’t do this to him, but he was an antagonist during the beginning.) OR Hiyori Tono (I still hate him for what he said to Haru!)

Kill la Kill: Ragyō Kiryūin

Haikyuu: Oikawa Tooru (I am not dissing him, I love his character! But he was the antagonist to beat.)

Assassination Classroom: The Reaper

Food Wars!: Azami Nakiri

One Punch Man: Garou

Erased: Gaku Yashiro

My Hero Academia: All for One OR Shigaraki

Mob Psycho 100: Toichiro Suzuki

Yuri on Ice: Jean-Jacques Leroy (I don’t hate him, but like some of the others, he is pretty much antagonistic to the cast of YOI.)

Kiss Him, Not Me: Takeru Mitsuboshi

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Kusuke Saiki

Miss Kobayashi Dragon Maid: Jida/Jii

The Royal Tutor: Ernst Rosenberg

Kakegurui: Kirari Momobami

Cells at Work: Cancer Cell

The Promised Neverland: Isabella OR Peter Ratri

Love is War: Oko Shinomiya

Fruits Basket: Akito Sohma

Demon Slayer: Muzan

Dr. Stone: The Whyman

Given: Ayano Kasai (I know she is not an antagonist, but she was a little antagonistic.)

Beastars: Melon

Welcome to Demon School Iruma Kun: Ami Kirio OR Baal

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: Yugi Tsukasa

Jujutsu Kaisen: Sukuna OR Geto

SK8 the Infinity: Ainosuke Shindo/ADAM

Setting:

Instead of a mansion, the Entity makes a prison for them to stay in. There are three levels of the prison:

Level 1: Misplaced

These are characters where they go up against one of the 40/interact with them, but it doesn’t mean they are evil or mean, they just happened to be the antagonists of one of the 40’s stories. They are given actual rooms, their own bathrooms, good meals plus desserts, good clothes, and misc. items to entertain themselves. (Plus their own kitchen, gym, craft room, etc.)

(This will house:

Oikawa Tooru

Jean-Jacques Leroy

Ayano Kasai)

Level 2: Disciplined

It’s almost the same as Level 1 except they are the bad guys of their stories but they actually have shot at redemption. They will have their own room, but only with the bare necessities. They are still served food, but any desserts, misc. items, or any kind of reward will only be given if they actually work to redeem themselves.

(This will house:

Benio "Benibara" Amakusa

Belarus

Daiki Aomine OR Seijūrō Akashi OR Makoto Hanamiya

Rin Matsuoka OR Hiyori Tono

Garou

Takeru Mitsuboshi

Kusuke Saiki

Ernst Rosenberg

Kirari Momobami

Cancer Cell

Isabella (If you choose her)

Oko Shinomiya

The Whyman)

Level 3: DETAIN

There are the worst of the worse, monsters, villains, you name it. They will basically be treated like prisoners for their stay. All of them wear collars that not only block their powers but will shock them if they attempt to do anything remotely evil, violent, etc.

(This will house:

Vicious

Ozai

Amon OR Unalaq OR Zaheer OR Kuvira

Light Yagami

The Undertaker

Father

Satan

Hisoka Morrow OR Chrollo Lucilfer OR Meruem

Zeke Yeager

Junko Enoshima

Ragyō Kiryūin

The Reaper

Azami Nakiri

Gaku Yashiro

All for One OR Shigaraki

Toichiro Suzuki

Jida/Jii

Peter Ratri (If you choose him)

Akito Sohma

Muzan

Melon

Ami Kirio OR Baal

Yugi Tsukasa

Sukuna OR Geto

Ainosuke Shindo/ADAM)

All levels are separated by another floor, with Level 3 in the basement to Level 1 at the top. There is around the clock monitoring thanks to Indigo and they are allowed outside, but Level 3 are the only ones who are scheduled with times and such.

The ground level is where they’ll be viewing what is going on with the 40. And the Entity is much more involved. FUNINTHEEYEOFMADNESS came up with the idea that to the people in Level 1 it would talk to the occupants like an empathic therapist. Level 2 is a no nonsense tough love overseer with the same empathy. And Level 3 is where the Entity will be the jail guard/jester/tormenter, pointing out their flaws, the pyrrhic victories and just rubbing it in. And, for the more arrogant of the prisoners, it will showcase their reality warping abilities to prove a point.

To quote FUNINTHEEYEOFMADNESS, "I would also imagine that for level's 2 and three the entity would make the prisoners do prison chores, but only to prove a point and make them build character. As any real chore can be solved by their reality warping effects."

The prison island would even be surrounded by an Eldritch Abomination to replace the ocean and act as a deterrent to kept them from trying to escape, (not that they could).

Something like this:

The Eldritch surrounding the island is obviously alive, but it reacts differently to the people coming outside. For Level 1, it will act similar to a puppy and all round just be playful and helpful to them. With Level 2 it will act indifferent, not choosing to intervene but will do so if necessary. But if someone from Level 3 steps outside without permission, it will go into berserk mode.

Ending:

Since this non-canon, it's kind of opened ended, but this what FUNINTHEEYEOFMADNESS and I came up with:

They will all have their memories erased OR only Level 3 will have their memories erased, (to which they will get back when they 💀) while Level 1 and those who redeemed themselves from Level 2 will keep their memories.

As to their connection to the 40, there are two scenarios:

1. Those who kept their memories while contact them when they get the chance and apologizes/helps the MCS (WE) cast with their adventures.

2. Somehow, someway, the 40 finds out what the Cloaked Figure is doing, those who have the unredeemable villains would see this a fitting punishment while those who have antagonists who are still redeemable or who are just antagonists by convention would ask if the Entity is insane. (And might even ask Entity to allow those of Level 1 to come back with them to the mansion and Level 2 once they’ve redeemed themselves.)

Reaction/Interaction Excerpts:

And of course, how can a can this be a reaction fic with some reactions?

To their stories/the 40:

To quote FUNINTHEEYEOFMADNESS again, "I would imagine they would either be downtrodden, guilty or seething in jealously. Another good point, since the 40 story is about hurt and comfort, the characters learning from each other and making themselves feel better, the villainous 40 would be judged by their peers and criticized. This can range from insults, being appalled by each other's actions or just rubbing it in each other in a sense of hypocritical moral superiority."

To each other:

Level 3 would have those arguing who had the better plan, motive, who had the harder protagonist to deal with etc. Basically an ego measuring contest. And the other levels would want to stay far away from them.

Level 2 would have them defending their case on why they did such actions, even though most of them won’t buy it, and some would actually engage in nice conversations. Level 3 would just call them pathetic while Level 1 would attempt to be friendly, as long as Level 2 cooperates.

Level 1 are just confused about why they are there and want to go home. Reactions to each other may vary, but they would be nice and comfort each other while allowing themselves to relax slightly since they are living much more luxuriously then they had been before. Level 3 and the stubborn half of Level 2 would be glaring at them while the redeemable half of Level 2 would be glad that they are in good living conditions.

How they would interact:

Level 3:

Ozai, Satan, Ragyō Kiryūin, Azami Nakiri, Toichiro Suzuki, and Akito Sohma would all be complaining to each other of how their bloodline/family members are such failures and how they would want to exact their revenge for going against them. They still don't get along, but they bond over that.

Light Yagami would keep trying to argue that he is not a villain, that he is a god, and all that nonsense, and it's usually Sukuna OR Geto, who yells at him to shut up and threatens to strangle him, shock collars be damn.

Yugi Tsukasa and Junko, somehow, bond over how much joy it bring them to see others in despair.

ADAM and Hisoka (if you chose him) would share in how they are looking for the most skilled/strongest, but when ADAM learn that Hisoka is a... ADAM would request a restraining order against him.

Amon OR Unalaq OR Zaheer OR Kuvira and Zeke Yeager would indulge in their own ideas of equality and freedom along with their radical methods of how to achieve such goals, (Light wouldn't be in this since he sees them as criminals and not himself, talk about hypocrite.)

With every interaction and banter Undertaker would just be shaking and crying with laughter as he finds all of this to be hilarious.

Level 2:

Benibara, Seijūrō Akashi (if you chose him), Kusuke Saiki, Kirari Momobami, and Oko Shinomiya would all be fighting for the leadership role in the group, and some of them are willing to draw blood to get it. (But it's Isabella, again if you chose her, who assumes the leadership role.)

Kusuke would actually try to study Cancer Cell while Garou would also be demanding to fight him to determine who is the strongest. This resulted in the two being threaten by Cancer Cell on a weekly, to daily, basis to stop.

The Whyman would just watch the humans being stupid.

Level 1:

All three of them get along, even though both Oikawa and JJ has egos the size of a house, (though these two would share in their woes of how they are the best and yet always fall short to someone else), and the three would comfort each other if need be. And JJ, who is the oldest in the group, would unconsciously take up the parental role.

Conclusion:

It the same premise as MCS (WE) except that this centered around the antagonists of the stories and most of them are either getting treated like the scumbags they are or are getting redeemed.

I'm not sure if FUNINTHEEYEOFMADNESS or if anyone else is going to actually write this, but if anyone does, or if they just what to keep bouncing around ideas, I'll happily lend a hand and or ear!