#if you're not cishet white neurotypical you are very likely going to have a bad time in grad school!

[shig-a-shig-ah]

so um… ghul… I need advice (if you can give it)?

So you’re a college professor right? Well, for a while now I’ve really been thinking about going back to school (I’m 25, by the way) because I’d also like to become a college professor, ideally in creative writing/something in the writing field.

So I was wondering if there was any advice/warnings/general information you might be able to share that you think would be useful.

You don’t need to spend too much time answering. I don’t want to inconvenience you. But I could just really use any words of wisdom since this is something I really really want but am scared I’ll be blindsided by something (I did a little college back when I was 18 but ended up having to leave due to personal reasons, so I have some experience on what to expect, but not a ton).

Anyway, hope you’re having a good night.

Hi! Always happy to give advice and warnings about the dumpster fire that is academia, so I definitely don't mind the question or feel inconvenienced. I should clarify though that I'm a PhD candidate, not an actual professor--so basically, I'm a very advanced graduate student who teaches instead of taking classes. But, being a professor is the goal and I'm pretty well versed in the ups and downs of pursuing an academic job.

And I have warnings. So many warnings!

The first thing to consider is just the amount of time it takes to become a professor. While you can get some jobs with only a Master's degree, they're few and far between, and especially precarious. For anything secure, you basically have to have a PhD. That means 4-5 years of undergrad, assuming you're starting basically from scratch, and then at least another five years for the doctoral degree. Keep in my mind that most people take longer than that to finish a PhD, too--I'm in my eighth year of grad school (sixth year in my actual program because I did a master's beforehand), and the average time to degree for my department is seven years. I know people who took ten. I may take ten!

Second, the academic job market is terrible. In many, many ways. There are basically two options--tenure track and adjunct. Tenure track pays better, comes with stability, and is probably what most people think of when they think of being a professor. Adjunct positions are short-term teaching contracts that only last for a semester, and often pay worse. (Imagine cobbling together a full-time job by teaching multiple classes a couple universities to make $30k a year with few benefits, if you're lucky).

Tenure track jobs have more stability, benefits, etc., but are also really fucking competitive. It's not unusual to have hundreds of applicants for one position, and even then it likely still won't pay as much as most other jobs requiring that level of education. On top of that, you generally have to also hustle to public papers, present at conferences, etc., just to be competitive for these jobs. And, as a bonus, it's almost guaranteed that you'll have to relocate to find a position, so you could easily find yourself moving to Arkansas to make $45k a year after a decade of schooling. Things are especially competitive and underpaid in the humanities, like writing-related fields, too.

Now, it's not like it could hurt to pursue it as an option, but going back to undergrad just for that being the goal is maybe not the best idea; it's definitely better to go in with a few possible paths in mind. Because it's a big time commitment for very little guaranteed payoff, and that's without even considering that just getting through grad school is fucking hard, and pretty much guaranteed to leave you with a lot of debt unless you have a partner to financially support you. And there are things that are great about it--you get a lot of autonomy, and I really love teaching so I have a great time--but I also pretty much agree with the advice I was given before starting, which was: if you can picture yourself doing anything else, do that instead.

[demigoddreamer]

The Problem with Batfam Race Swap Headcanons

I think we're all familiar with this. The Latino Jason Todd and East Asian Tim Drake headcanons most commonly. By themselves there's nothing wrong with these headcanons(unless you're headcanoning a POC to be white) because it's always good to have more diversity and representation especially in the western world where able-bodied neurotypical cishet white men take priority

A problem is that a lot of these POC headcanons rely on stereotypes. I'm mostly going to be talking about East Asian Tim Drake because I'm East Asian. But I will talk a little bit about the others.

I do not like East Asian Tim Drake that much because although I would love to see more representation of people like me in media it relies on very tired tropes. Like seriously???? he must be asian because he's "smart antisocial slender short less masculine not as hot as the other robins" like it just contributes more to the desexualization and emasculation of Asian men. It also perpetuates the model minority which characterizes Asians as the "good minority" who are too meek to stand up to White supremacy and actively welcome it sometimes.

Latino Jason Todd is another popular one. I'm not Latine so I obviously do not have much authority on this. However a lot of the basis people use for Latino Jason Todd is "he grew up poor and is angry all the time and a criminal so he has to be Latino" like bro...that has very bad implications

Romani Dick Grayson is technically canon but in a very small part of canon. Also i'm not sure the stereotype of Romani people being in circuses translates well into Dick's background. He also didn't grow up with the culture which makes the small percentage look worse. Also I heard the writer who gave Dick the romani heritage just wanted him to be more "interesting" which is kinda gross. But I'm aware that a lot of POC characters have had problematic writing which has improved with the times and influence by POC writers. For this discussion Romani Dick Grayson should be deferred to actual Romani fans.

You wanted your favorite white boy to be a bit more spicy and exotic and you ignore the actual POC in the Batfam. Cassandra Cain who's East Asian. Duke Thomas who's Black. Damian Wayne who's half Arab. Even extended Batfamily members like Luke Fox who's also Black. Try lifting up their voices more and including them in your content.

[runthepockets]

Extremely bullshit personal ramble under the cut

I was reading this article on Chevy Chase yesterday, and it talked a little about his time on the tv show Community, and how he once left creator Dan Harmon an angry voicemail after the latter had embarrassed him very publicly at a party. And Harmon's response was to....play the voicemail at a small gathering, which just felt really unnecessarily cruel and exploitative for a guy in charge of a successful sitcom.

"This is a pattern people have with my father" Chase's daughter says, "whenever they get hurt by him, the run to tell their friends and call up TMZ and gossip about him, make him a laughing stock, put him on blast in front of the whole world". And look, I know the guy is an ass. He's a racist, xenophobic, sexist, and every other outdated ideal rich white guys are prone to under the sun, with a huge ego. But a lot of me is still like....why this? He's just a guy, he's still human at the end of the day. You're both adults, and Harmon was clearly the one in the wrong, why didn't he just call Chase and apologize for embarrassing him in front of his family and coworkers? That doesn't seem unreasonable. I believe in accountability, and all, but kicking a man when he's down and making a huge spectacle of it for a cheap laugh is just low hanging fruit, and wraps back around to being pretty devastating and pathetic, even if he sucks as a person.

I've been bitching a lot about queer spaces lately, and I feel pretty bad about it, even if I feel a lot of the criticism is warranted. In the midst of all my bitching, I should clarify that I'm not one to sell people up the river for cis approval, or to judge people unfairly for being different than me, or any of that stuff. I'm an adult, I grew up in the 2000s and 2010s. I remember all the stupid jokes at trans women's expense and a lot of "shock humor" revolving around making a mockery of gay men's sexualities. I remember how people hated Brokeback Mountain when it first came out. I remember Matthew Shephard. I remember how simply wearing pants that fit could get a guy jumped after dark. I think about all of that stuff all the time. I'm stealth and unwilling to compromise this, but even while navigating the world as a cishet dude, I still operate as an ally to the queer struggle and liberation. I'm not an idiot and I'm not heartless, I know it's rough out here, I can still afford people a lot of grace and empathy, I'm genuinely a pretty smart and patient guy.

But lately I feel my patience is running thin. I wish it wasn't, but it is. Every time I try to open myself up in queer spaces I just end up getting manipulated or abused or backstabbed or assigned some sort of mediator role that I never asked for. And look, I'm no saint, and I know I can be pretty polarizing at times. I often struggle to find the sweet spot between amusement and comedy and just being a douche, and at the end of the day not everyone in the world is going to like me, cis or trans, gay or straight, and goddamn if there aren't people I couldn't give less of a shit about. I honestly couldn't care less about being in everyone's good graces, that's just not how being an adult in this life works.

But I digress. I'm not a damn mass murderer, I've never raped or sexually harassed or killed anyone. I'm just kind of awkward at times. For all my jokes and how much I revel in being a bad boy and giving little to no fucks about any trivial bullshit, I do have morals. I do try very hard to make sure no one feels left out or alienated or uncomfortable by my actions, and if I do it's almost never intentional. It isn't fun. Being the only black & neurotypical dude in a lot of queer spaces isn't too dissimilar from Mr. Chase's experiences on Community; if you fuck up, you're pretty much fucked. Queer spaces are too small to avoid everyone you've ever fucked up with, and you can't throw a rock in a queer space without hitting like 12 people with trauma responses that lead them to blow a lot of things out of proportion. By no fault of their own, of course, but they are still in control of their actions and that more often than not leads to me being treated like some sort of pariah rather than just being told what I did wrong and deescalating conflict in a casual way.

On a more menial and petty level, it also sucks being ignored. Seeing people's eyes glaze over and watching them reach for their phones any time I talk about my interests and passions for improving malenes or how much I like being a straight guy, cus that doesn't blend very well with people's ideas of queer identity / conflicts with their priorities. It sucks. I'm chopped liver. I wish I could pin it to white queer spaces (and they are the most egregious offenders for most of this), but I think it's just the state of nonblack queers in general and the sad reality of queer spaces being molded as a "safe space" from masculinity since like, the 70s (many trans men and masc gay men will agree with and testify to this). That's a good 80% of time I just spend being an after thought, both interpersonally and in broader political conversations. It sucks ass. I get that being stealth isn't for everyone, but I really don't see how anyone can fault me for my decision. When I'm in the cishet world, as a black dude, things aren't perfect either, but people are more likely to understand where I'm coming from and the things I have to say, at the very least, because the majority of their experiences are the same and the lack of stigma and trauma around their identities makes it a lot easier to communicate. Again, this is not a personal failing of queer spaces, but the material reality is....yeah, it's just easier for me personally to deal with cishet people. Black trans people, too, but realistically black people as a whole only make up about 13% of the population and only like, 6% of that is trans, and I'm not gonna spend all day every day weeding out people to hang out with, I'm gonna chill with whoever is cool to be around.

Idk man. Lately I've just been feeling this strong sense of "if I weren't trans, I wouldn't matter to any of these people, pretty much everything between us is conditional." Like, if people react this poorly to me as a black dude who presumably doesn't have a dick or isn't struggling with a lot of the hang ups and traumas cis black dudes have (you know, the kind of shit that lands you in jail or addicted to meth, instead of just being kind of rude and dismissive sometimes), imagine how they'd react if I actually was a cis black dude. I'd probably be torn to shreds by now. And the fact that I'm feeling this way means it's probably time for a huge change. I try really hard-- to accommodate for people, to find new friends, to learn and keep learning and always try to do better, and it all always ends the same. It's gotten to the point where some of my friends think it's all online nonsense. It's not. Being a black man really just sucks that fucking bad, and it really is just this fucking hard all the time. I mean don't get me wrong, I fucking love being black and I love being a man, but there is no reprieve, and it's idiotic to act as if all men have the same privileges that white dudes do.

I don't think I can ever fully leave queer spaces behind; I mean, I love trans women so much, romantically platonically and sexually, and black trans people in particular give me so much joy and hope in a world that feels very stacked against me a lot of the time. But I do think it's time to be more selective with my time and energy and who I interact with, cus it's very apparent to me that a lot of people don't have my best interests at heart, nor do they really know how to deal with problems beyond very surface level and biased understandings of gender and being trans.

At the end of the day, I really really love people, which is maybe why it always hits so hard when they don't always love me back.

[theprideful]

I've been trying to ask this for some time actually, so here I go:

Is The Good Doctor good autistic representation? I'm afraid I might have used it when talking to my neurotypical parents about the different ''degrees'' of autism using dr. Shawn as an example when in reality he's a bad example. You're one of the only actually autistic people I can ask this to, even if it might seem a stupid question, but like... Is he good autistic representation?

Thanks for the attention anyways <3

(since this is about neurodivergence and a bit long, I'm going to bold and highlight some phrases here and there, because it makes it a little easier to read.)

so, is The Good Doctor good autism rep: in my opinion, no. are there autistic people like him in real life? absolutely. but is he a good, true reflection of what autism actually is? not really.

my problem with The Good Doctor is that it employs a lot of stereotypes, and whether or not they're "good" doesn't really change the fact that it enforces this really narrow idea of what autism is to allistics; white, cishet, nerdy male who is a genius savant and lacks social skills. autism is incredibly diverse and multifaceted, and anyone and everyone will experience it differently. so the fact that only stories like Shawn's are shown really limits our progress on combatting misinformation.

but it's not just that the show very heavily leans on stereotypes and lacks general creativity in portraying the neurotype, it's that it was really obvious how few- if any- actually autistic people were consulted. it feels like a production made for capitalizing on us without actually putting in the work to show us for who and what we really are. it honestly seems like they read a few articles online and watched "rain man" (which also has many of these same issues) and based their story off of that. it's hard to tell from a glance, but the more you look into it, the more you can see that it's just regurgitating the same narrative under a shinier lens and the guise of modernity and "wokeness." this specific story they decided to tell is quite unoriginal and reflects a very small percentage of us. that's not to say that none of us can relate or see ourselves in Shawn, but the most us can't - at least, not very often or consistently. (also, there is shown to be a strong link between autism and queerness, so it's strange that even in a time where psycho/neurological research and information is rising, the white cishet protagonist remains at the front and center of autism media.)

furthermore, some of the stereotypes and "traits" they used are not supported or even really experienced by the autistic community. for instance, his visualization of anatomical systems and functions in a hyper-realistic manner is not an autistic trait. sure, there are people on the spectrum with eidetic memories and incredibly vivid "inner-eyes", but again, only a small percentage of us have that, and it's not inherently an autistic trait. (Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds is another good example of this exact scenario.) this could, in theory, tie in with the trait of "detail-orientedness" that many of us experience. but it is likely a characteristic of an entirely different disorder or neurodivergency, which only furthers the idea that it was not researched in depth and the autism aspect was only meant to serve as a plot device to make him "interesting." i don't know about you, but i personally don't like the idea of only being allowed to exist as an autistic person if neurotypicals find me interesting or "plot-relevant."

as with the last statement, the same thing also applies to the "genius savant" stereotype. believe it or not, not many autistic people are actually savants in the quirky, brilliant way that hollywood likes to portray. we have our own skills, just like allistics. sometimes our autism "enhances" them or acts as an asset. but it's kind of a roll of the dice. the way i see it is, you can have red hair and be left-handed, but neither is an automatic, promised precursor for the other. you can be autistic and a good doctor or genius scientist, but one does not necessarily cause or even influence the other. again, in this story, it's not inherently an issue. but this narrative is pushed so much, all the time, that it's really starting to feel like it's the only way we'll be accepted. but also, it solidifies this concept of "two types of autistic people at 'opposite' ends of the spectrum," where Shawn is the "high-functioning genius" type. it's a really narrow definition and caricature of a really diverse group, and it limits the way we are perceived by allistics and neurotypicals.

sorry for the long response, but in conclusion, no, it's not really good representation because it only shows one very small fraction of autism and is not entirely accurate.

one good thing i will say, though, is that I do appreciate the writers revealing his traumatic past. many autistic people experience trauma and develop PTSD, depression, and anxiety (and possibly obsessive compulsions) because of lack of understanding, so it was refreshing to see some actual multidimensional backstory that is realistic to autistic people. anyway, overall it could've been better rendered and I think if the writers weren't afraid of losing the cherished white cis-het male protagonist trope and dramatization of neurodivergence in a way that they actually stopped describing that disorder*, it could've been a lot more realistic and actually relatable/applicable to real life.

*"disorder" does not apply to all autistic people. it is a label that individuals can use to describe themselves.

if any other autistic people have any thoughts, feel free to share! i'd love to hear your opinions as well

[mellometal]

Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.

I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.

Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.

I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.

ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:

This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)

LET'S FUCKING GET IT.

The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.

Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.

Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.

I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.

Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.

Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.

Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.

Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)

Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?

There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.

Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.

My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?

Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.

For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted

First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):

Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)

Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too. 

It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.

If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.

Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs): 

I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man. 

Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want. 

I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too. 

Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around. 

If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.

Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.

Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.

If you've read this far, thank you so much!

[nothorses]

"Men bad" feminism is SO frustrating to deal with! No, if you're white you don't get to say "men bad" to avoid examining how you treat men of color. If you're cishet you don't get to say "men bad" to avoid examining how you treat queer men. If you're able-bodied or neurotypical you don't get to say "men bad" to avoid examining how you treat disabled or neurodiverse men. You don't get off the hook just because you think you get to cry misogyny at anyone who tells you to check yourself.

Yeah, it’s a way of thinking that’s just... incredibly exhausting and reductive. And it’s very clear that a lot of otherwise very privileged women cling to this way of thinking as a way to avoid accountability, and reject any notion that they should put real time or effort into activism that benefits other people.

And it’s increasingly easy for women who are marginalized in other ways to latch on, because if you’re being offered support, acceptance, and solidarity for being like these people in some way... why fight that? Why reject it on the basis of the reasons you aren’t like them?

It’s really nice to be able to just go “you’re right, we are all women! and men bad!” and celebrate with them, even if it means your other problems go ignored and even perpetuated within those spaces- cause you’ve already been fighting so long, and isn’t it kind of lonely? Kind of exhausting?

Nevermind all the marginalized people who don’t have that option. They’re men, and men bad.

It just sucks, for everyone involved. And it limits our understanding of gender-based oppression so much.