#ill post recommendations if i find a good one though!

[batty-pham]

Daily Fic Rec Master Post

DPxDC/BatFam

November

Nov 1 - Some Kind Of Miraculous Bind

Nov 2 - Who's Old Now

Nov 3 - A Ghost in the Family

Nov 4 - Wanted: Dead and Alive

Nov 5 - To Hear, To See, To Smile

Nov 6 - Danny the hungry, hungry ghost

Nov 7 - Death Echoes

Nov 8 - Leap Before You Think

Nov 9 - Say Uncle

Nov 10 - Dad from Mars

Nov 11 - Alien Boys

Nov 12 - Fever Dream

Nov 13 - I've Been Erased Yet My Shadow Remains

Nov 14 - Happy Families Kill People Too

Nov 15 - Ghost Kid in Gotham

Nov 16 - Run Ghost Run

Nov 17 - Grave Promises

Nov 18 - A Little accidental adoption never hurt anyone! Right?

Nov 19 - Royal Hot Potato

Nov 20 - persephone's in hell

Nov 21 - Bus to Nowhere

Nov 22 - I Just Wanna Talk

Nov 23 An (almost Foolproof Lie)

Nov 24 - Who Else Is Also Real

This month's master list is color-coded! DPxDC fics are green and just DC/BatFam fics are in yellow!

As you can probably also tell, I didn't finish this month. I sorta got burnt out this month so...for the sake of my mental health I'm stopping doing my daily recs

[beesorcery]

hello it's part 3 of 3 for my cool fun graphic design adventure!! part 1 and part 2 got too long. to recap i am recreating this t-shirt design but with the magic 8 ball songs instead of city names:

here is the current draft, updated through 3/27 (pittsburgh) (!!!!)

[itgirldraco]

do you have any fic recs?

yes!! so many!! please check the tags for each!

all time favorites:

way down we go: an absolute classic. werewolf harry, chronically ill utterly miserable draco, post-war in small town america. enemies to lovers slowburn with protective harry and hopelessly gay draco.

in hopes that you may drown: SO much of my art is based on this author's harry and draco. such a lovely fic. post-war, draco raising delphi and absolutely perfecting the stressed yoga mom vibe. harry is instantly smitten.

in our blood: about haunted houses, parenthood and growing to care for each other. I love this one.

you'll still find stone: arranged marriage. draco expects the worst and harry is an absolute sweetheart. angst but so heartwarming. (mind the tags!!)

ANYTHING by corvetteclaire! their blood link and in the mirror series are severely underrated and genuinely took my breath away. some of my favorite writing and plots.

inside grey eyes: so so beautiful. quite dark and yet exceptionally hopeful. all about draco's recovery from a nightmare situation and harry's unending support. (mind the tags!!)

anything by tessa crowley!! an absolute gem in the fandom with an impressive variety of works.

the mirror of ecidyrue series: perfection.

in your arms, rests my world: “You make me feel safe, Potter. You keep me safe.” yeah..yeah. (mind the tags!!)

anything by toxik_angel tbh..one of my favorites is infairitance even though it’s incomplete; fairy draco is a game changer

oxytocin: angst, angst, angst, and so much cuddling. slowburn in the best way possible.

Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm: i read this some time ago but i remember adoring it.

Diffraction Patterns (I Don't Know How to Forget You): another incredible old read .

everything by beloved @rockingrobin69 !! this is one my favorites ever i never stop thinking about it

fluff/humor:

manlet: PLEASE read this one! so so cute and adorable and hilarious ft sweet giant harry and tiny angry draco and wickedly funny narcissa. will definitely open your eyes to small draco.

screw you: extremely funny and extremely hot.

like a star across my sky: SUCH a good fic! feels like a romcom.

title of their sex tape: as funny as it sounds.

flirt: really sweet. disaster flirty draco and awkward yet charmed harry.

married to a brute (ongoing): genius and hilarious

smut:

it beats me black and blue: absolute perfection. no notes.

let me roll it: so delicious. clueless mess draco and grumpy harry who hates everyone except draco.

his little something: size difference excellence

scenes of surrender: a combination of smut, love, recovery and caretaking

a perfect fit: hung harry and size queen draco

come up for air: veela draco

fawning for you: harry is completely obsessed with draco's videos. very cute, muggle setting.

burning the ground: creature fic

ongoing/other faves:

one elephant at a time (ongoing): i recommend this fic to EVERYONE. genuinely incredible. think yellow wallpaper, jane eyre, crush by richard siken, and the author mentions being inspired by my dark vanessa as well. so essentially a modern romance with a dark gothic backstory. every single sentence in this fic stands out to me. every characterization, every conversation, is just so honest and genuine. also!! draco has a cat called lady di!! and he loves to wear earrings! (mind the tags!!)

within the hollow crown: more of pre-drarry tbh. such an interesting plot!! harry grudgingly cares for an increasingly spiraling draco who is except under close and constant watch by the dark lord-every second of his sixth year. currently has an ongoing sequel.

imperfection (ongoing): another fic by robin! and another of my all time favorites, so so lovingly written and so tragic and lovely and heartbreaking. really digs into draco's psych and his manic mindset and constant spiral BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel and so much love surrounding him even though it's hard for him to see it. (mind the tags!!)

saviour series (ongoing): wouldn't necessarily call this drarry? more of a stockholm syndrome gothic novel type of fic but i recommend it all the same. the writing is truly extraordinary and the pacing is incredible. will leave you breathless. part one is complete. (mind the tags!!)

perspective series (ongoing): the original books with alpha harry, omega draco in gryffindor, and an adorable friendship dynamic between the golden trio and draco. really sweet, and super interesting. no romance as of yet but there are little moments.

tales of the potters: very interesting take on the arranged marriage trope! i recommend all of this author's works; they have a gorgeous way with words and their work really brings harry and draco to life.

the veiled boy (ongoing): one of the most intriguing recent fics i've read. really delves into character dynamics in such a realistic and refreshing way and draco is so endearing in it. every chapter has gorgeous illustrations.

never in extremity: reread this one recently. equal parts heartbreaking and heartwarming. (mind the tags!!)

[kaciidubs]

Heyy babes justwonderingr if you'd let me be 🪼 anon if so? 😁

(DELULU WARNING!!)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Sooo i was just thinking what if Felix revealed that he has a girlfriendto stay, *Y/n*.Stays were really happy for him and stuff but *one* day Y/n and Felix decided if the 18+ fanart started happening,and *it did*.So they were looking at the poses and were wondering if they so *try* these sex postions. 🤭 ik ik its pretty delulu but you dont have to if not so its totally fine! ill find someone else to if so!😁 (Soft!Dom!Felix x sub!fem!short!reader plz 😚)

This turned out way cuter than I expected and honestly, it fits? Of course you can be jellyfish nonnie, thank you for your request!!

Life Imitates Art

❣ Summary: A spicy discovery turns into a point of inspiration for you and Felix. ❣  ❣ Word Count: 1.1k ❣ Warnings: Soft, Slight Dom! Felix, Sub! Reader, light humor, fluff, smut, Kama Sutra pose; Queen of Heaven, unprotected sex, creampie, slight degradation ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Felix is referred to as Lixie, Lix, Baby, and Love, Reader is referred to as Sunshine and Baby ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist

“Oh… my god.”

Your eyes widened at the picture sitting on your phone screen; a wonderful, digitally drawn picture of you and your idol boyfriend in a position you couldn’t even begin to name.

“Lixie, have you seen this?”

The brunet haired man hummed from his upside down position on your shared bed, craning his head to peek at you over his phone, “What? Is it another patch update? I swear, if they nerfed my champ again-”

“What? Lix, no, shut up - look.” Turning your hand, you stretched your arm enough for him to meet you halfway and take your phone, his eyes squinting before widening almost immediately.

“Is this-”

“Yeah!”

“And that’s-”

“Yeah!”

Ever since you and Felix decided to go public with your relationship, the reactions from Stays were mixed but overall good; and, from that reveal came an influx of support and even fanarts depicting dates you two have been on, redraws of instagram posts, and even solo portraits of you. Though, in addition to the… safer content, came a silent undercurrent of not-so-safe content that you couldn’t help but peek into time and time again - you know, curiosity and cats and whatnot.

He went quiet for a moment, but you could see his eyes searching the screen before he hoisted himself into a seated position, his thumb scrolling across the screen leisurely.

“Holy shit… There’s so many…” Felix didn’t spare you a glance while scrolling, pink tongue peeking out to subconsciously lick his lips, “Some of them don’t really get your tits right but we can’t really blame them- Oh! This one looks fun!”

“Felix, I wasn’t showing you them as recommendations!” Reaching to take your phone back, he evades you with a delighted giggle, pressing on an entirely new post with blushing cheeks.

“But- Wait! Look at this one - you can’t tell me this doesn’t look fun!”

Turning the device to you, your eyes land on an image that makes your mouth run dry.

You - or at least, their depiction of you - are laid on your back with a blond Felix on top of you, almost in a mating press but it’s different; your legs are more towards your chest than out, and Felix’s hands are by your shoulders, keeping up elevated yet close. There’s faint imagery of hickeys dotting your skin, and a mix of hickeys and scratches marking what’s shown of his neck and shoulders.

Eyes flicking down to the caption, you quickly read the title - The Sun and His Queen [of Heaven].

“Well?” his saccharine hum nearly startled you, your focus on the fanart distracting you from his subtle scooting toward where you sat, “You think we can recreate this one?”

There were times where you praised his eye for detail, and this was one of those exact moments; hickeys marking your chest and neck, your nails pressed into his back, angry red lines highlighting previous trails left behind, and similar love bites blossoming on his fair skin.

A faint sheen of sweat coated your skin as you laid folded beneath him; your knees as close to your chest as they could go while his arms kept them trapped against the sides of his torso, helping you hold the pose while his hips slotted into the space between your thighs.

It was almost like a mating pose, but you felt more open, more connected, and with the slow, deep strokes Felix was delivering, you felt like you were on cloud 9.

He wasn’t faring any better, either, not with the way moans vibrated past his lips, his forearms flexing as he supported himself above you, skin glistening and freckled cheeks dashed in a pretty blush.

“Fuck, you’re s-so wet, sunshine - fuckin’ dripping, b-bet you’re soaking the sheets.”

A wanton moan fell from your lips as you watched him with lidded eyes, pinned and pressed and stuck with no other option other than to watch and take it; the lewd squelching sound each time he rocked his hips forward - his cock pressing right into that soft spot at the front of your cunt - sending chills down your spine.

“L-Lix, faster, more-”

His hips shot forward with a harsh thrust, fucking a squeal straight form your throat as he picked up his pace at your pleading, teeth sinking into his lower lip as warm brown eyes studied your face.

“Like this? Need me just like this, huh? And here I thought you didn’t want the recommendation.”

Even if you had the energy to bite back at his subtle dig, you wouldn’t have had the brain power to do so from the way it was currently leaking out of your ears, the soft head of his dick nudging your g-spot with every delicious in, out motion - the slapping of his balls against the bottom of your ass adding to the filthy sounds filling the bedroom.

“A-Ah- baby, so- fuck- I can’t-” You weren’t even sure what you wanted to say, your mouth running solely for the fact of making sounds other than the high pitched ‘ah’s and ‘mmh’s that dominated your vocal chords.

Felix gritted out a moan, eyebrows pinching as your fluttering walls clenched around him, “S-Shit, tell me you’re close, baby - I don’t think I-”

“‘M so close, Felix, so fucking close, love-”

His hands fisted the sheets, knuckles turning white as he doubled his efforts into harder thrusts, sacrificing the speed he previously had in favor of making you reach your peak before he did - and, oh, did you reach it.

Within a few more targeted thrusts your body shook, pussy throbbing and mouth falling open to let out the most pornographic moan he had ever heard - enough for his pace to stutter before painting your walls white with his cum with a choked whine.

Blinking your eyes open - not even sure when you even closed them in the first place - you were welcomed to the sight of your flushed boyfriend, eyes dazed and sparkling as he lazily thrusted into you one last time before untangling your limbs from him with a soft sigh.

You both groaned as he pulled out of your fluttering hole, not even caring about the cum slowly making its way out of you as he flopped onto the bed beside you; giving you the space to stretch your sore legs before tucking himself into your side and peppering butterfly kisses along your shoulder and neck.

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ll be able to walk after that,” you laughed breathlessly, highly aware of the tingling sensation in your toes.

“Try being on top! It felt like I was doing the hardest plank in the world!” Felix giggled, nuzzling his sweaty face against the side of yours before placing a kiss to your hot cheek, “You did great, though - it was incredible.”

Humming in agreement, you turned your head to look at him with nothing but pure love and adoration, “It was, but I just have one little thing…”

He tilted his head slightly, silently urging you to go on.

“Next time, I pick the pose.”

[s-rosie]

JAVERY HCSSSSSSS #2

hiiii!!! i hope everyone is doing wonderful and taking care if themselves, with that said, i hope you like these!

jameson can rub avery’s stomach in just the right way, it gets rid of her period cramps

they make each other those aesthetic, cute, and meaningful gifts when the other is feeling shitty

they tried that “you need a hug” trend when the boyfriend jumps on the girlfriend’s back, and avery fell over and hit her nose (jameson then felt so bad, he gave her so many cuddles and kisses)

they have onesies that are stitch for jameson and angel for ave

they sing musicals together and assign each other characters to play

i hc that ave has hormone problems, so jamie will help her by holding her hair when she throws up, holding her when she gets dizzy, and giving her cuddles (not me projecting again 💀)

in their room, they have a whole corner filled with cute stuffier

they take long drives sometimes and just talk about life and scream sing their fav songs

jameson once pulled ave into a closet (😏) and oren was going crazy trying to find her because he thought she was kidnapped again (they then had to sit through a 20 minute lecture)

everyone online calls them “america’s favorite couple”

jamie loves going shopping with her and he has good fashion taste, so he will help her find outfits

one time nash told them to get a room, so jameson was like “fine maybe i will” and avery was like “fine by me” as a joke (not really) and nash was mortified

xander once dared them to play 7 minutes in heaven, and it got a bit heated

they went on a trip to nyc, and jameson taught avery how to ice skate at rockefeller rink because i hc he plays hockey

i hc ave is allergic to metal, so jamie covers all of his rings and jewelry with a clear coat so she can hold his hand, and he always makes sure to gets her hypoallergenic jewelry

they are both obsessed with combat boots, especially doc martens

they have spa dates before big events to make sure they look ✨fabulous✨

jamie and avery are the best at just dance, like if they team up against you you know its over for you

after “activities” (😏) jamie will carry her wherever she needs to go until she can walk

ave always takes the blankets and makes herself a burrito in the blankets (jamie acts annoyed but he obviously finds it adorable)

jameson loves olives, but ave hates them (the olive theory)

one time at the beginning of their relationship, she got overwhelmed by jameson touching her so she pulled away, and he felt like he did something wrong. she assured him it was ok and she just got overwhelmed so they made a secret tap that ave can do on jamie’s arm so he knoes to let go and give her space (though, she uses the tap less and less now)

at their wedding, jamie cried seeing avery walk down the isle, causing her to start crying and they met at the alter a bawling mess

they always hype each other up and stand up for each other no matter what

since i think it is pretty much cannon that jameson does nascar at this point, before his races, ave gets really scared that he will get hurt, so she will tell him things like “don’t die” and “if you die, ill kill you” and he just laughs and tells her he will be ok

at any event that either of them do, the other always brings them a gift pertaining to that event

ave is SUPER tickle ish, and jamie will tickle her sometimes until she cant breath (she pretends she hates it, but jamie kbows she loves it)

thank you so muchhhh! i hope you like these as much as i enjoyed making them. please give me some recommendations as to what yo make next. i will be busy for a while, so if i post few and far between, just know that i will be back (tho i will post more then that) so if i dont get to your request right away, just know i will eventually. thank you 😊

[i-can-read-to-him]

The Wesper Fic Club's Author Spotlight is a post series that aims to feature two to three fic authors a month, randomly selected from a pool of names put forth on our server. The authors are then asked to answer three interview questions, select up to five of their fics for us to feature, and finally, recommend three fics by others in the fandom.

(Note: Our spotlighted fics are not limited to Wesper, though they tend to be a central pairing in most of our authors' featured works.)

This week, we are putting a spotlight on Elias's writing!

Socials: @starwritebrekker (Tumblr) | starlightwrite (AO3) | starwritecos (TikTok) | wellelwrites (Instagram)

❀

Part One: Author Interview

Q: What’s your favourite fic you’ve written for this fandom?

A: Do Us Part! It’s my first time writing a modern AU and I’m loving the challenge of finding modern day equivalents to the Crows world.

Q: When did you first start writing? What keeps you going today?

A: I’ve been writing stories since elementary school, earliest I can remember is second grade (seven years old). What keeps me writing is how much writing feels like a release. I’m not very good at speaking what’s going on in my head (see: neurodivergent), and writing it out helps me comprehend my own thoughts more and it helps me communicate my thoughts much better. It is my favorite form of expression.

Q: Who is your favourite character? What do you love about them?

A: Kaz Brekker. This boy is the embodiment of a person in survival mode for most of their life and not truly understanding what it is to come out of it. The world has hardened him but inside him, despite his best efforts, there is still that hope. That heart.

Q: Have you had a chance to interact with the SAB cast? Tell us about your experience(s).

A: Amita liked the photo of my Dregs tattoo on instagram! I love her so much and I’m so glad she interacts with the fandom so much as well.

Q: If you could be friends with any character in the Grishaverse, who would it be?

A: Matthias and I both grew up with organized religion being the backbone of our perspective of the world, so I feel like he and I could get along well. I want to give all the crows a hug (an air hug for Kaz).

Q: What are some headcanons you have that you consider your personal canon?

A: Kaz Rietveld-Brekker is transmasc. Argue with the wall XD. (I am nonbinary transmasc I hold this headcanon so close to my heart).

Q: Are there any songs you strongly associate with a favourite character or ship?

A: Francesca by Hozier is Kanej coded.

Q: How do you feel about your fics being translated into other languages?

A: Go forth and translate (just give me credit please and thank youuuuu)!

❀

Part Two: Selected Works

Do Us Part

Teen | 4.1K | Kanej, Wesper, Helnik Modern AU, Mentioned Character Death, The dog lives In Progress

Part of the Wesper Fic Club Big Bang 2024! The Crows run a funeral home in the suburbs of a modern day Ketterdam. There’s death. There’s a dog. There’s healing. There’s still a dog.

No Funerals

Teen | 10.1K | Kanej, mentioned Wesper, mentioned Helnik Vampire AU, slowburn, Wesper Child, Alby Rollins is there In Progress

There’s a figure that haunts the Barrel at night since time immemorial, he exists in the shadows and watery reflections of the canals of Ketterdam. He was once the undisputed king of the city, and now? He runs a gang of misfits and swindles the merchant council, not even death can escape his cheating. 

Forever Not to Disappear

Teen | 20.5K | Kanej, Wesper Sickfic, slowburn, healing from trauma In Progress

Kaz Brekker is stuck in bed (it’s a bad illness day) and is forced to reflect and process his emotions.

Clouded Judgement

Teen | 441 words | Kanej, Wesper Stream of Consciousness, Wishful thinking, Reflective Kaz Brekker Completed

Post-Season Two finale of Shadow and Bone, Kaz is hoveled up in his room, and his mind never stops moving. Nor does his pen.

❀

Part Three: Author's Recs

I’m The Perfect Stranger Who Knows You Too Well by @remadora-black / actressforever14 (my sister Cassie!)

Teen | 54.9K | Kanej, Wesper, Helnik Jordie Rietveld Lives, Childhood Trauma, Major Illness In Progress

Cassie’s description: What if Jordie did not die of Firepox? What if, instead, when Kaz returned from the Barge, his brother was waiting for him. Firepox would leave them both forever changed, but how will the course of the rest of their lives go? What will happen to Jordie when he realizes his little brother is no longer the boy he knew before, and that he has been left with a shell of a boy with only one thing on his mind: vengeance?

What the Water Gave Me by 19burstraat (astardanced)

Teen | 23.9K | Kanej, Crows friendship Post Canon, Canon Divergence, Angst With A Happy Ending Completed

Kaz as a Tidemaker. Get into it. Kaz as a grisha is extremely my sh*t. 

You’re A Dog And I’m Your Man by limelacroix

Not Rated | 27.8K | Kanej, Wesper Kaz Brekker gets a dog, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Kaz Brekker gets a dog. That’s the whole thing.Also extremely my sh*t

The Unexpected Visitor by insignificant457

Mature 90.9K | Kanej Post-canon, Implied/referenced SA, Implied/referenced sex In Progress

Inej brings one Bastard of the Barrel to the caravans for a family wedding. Hijinks ensue.

❀

Please support our authors by commenting and leaving kudos on any stories of theirs you read and enjoy! Don't forget to also reblog this post and check back soon for our next author spotlight to come.

Interested in joining our server and getting to know our community? Feel free to request an invite via the @i-can-read-to-him ask box.

[cursedpupperino]

Okay… I’m gonna start posting OOTS rants and analysises or whatever the word is. I’m gonna start talking about one of my favorite OOTS characters- but first, a spoiler warning to anyone still reading!!! I don’t recommend reading this post unless you’re all caught up. (Now’s probably a good time to mention I have all the book compilations, so I might reference those and/or the titles of those at one point.)

Okay… time to talk about Tsukiko. She’s a very… interesting person in a lot of ways. Still, she’s one of my favorite characters.

I’m gonna come out here and say, yeah… the stuff with Xykon was a little weird, but also fuckin hilarious imo. It is a comedy strip. That isn’t the focus of this post, though, just something I thought I’d throw out there. We’re also gonna completely ignore how goddamn hot she is and focus exclusively on her character here.

Anyways, I’m going to explain why I personally adore this loser. First and foremost, her introduction is really funny. “Hey Redcloak, check it out! I totally conducted a job interview in the middle of a battle!” will ALWAYS get at least a chuckle out of me. And the blade barrier scene? Fucking PRICELESS! I love the way she and Redcloak interact- it will never not be funny.

Okay, in terms of her actual character, the concept of a necromancer who views the undead as her children is really, really interesting. It’s fun to watch, and the way she reacts to people harming her wights is uncommon for a necromancer. Most give zero shits about their undead creatures, but she genuinely cares for them.

Erm, anyways… her death scene is so upsetting and so well done. It shows how truly delusional and ill she is, to genuinely believe that her wights wouldn’t kill her. Her dying words being “Why don’t you… love… me?” is sad, to be honest, and it gives us more insight into the way she thinks and why. She’s a traumatized person who wants to be loved, and resorts to whatever means she views as neccesary to feel that way. The undead can’t abandon her, and they can’t say anything she doesn’t want them to (while they’re under her control, at least.) Watching her whole world and belief system come crashing down in her final moments is so, so beautifully done. This is something we also see with Miko, but oh BOY do I have things to say about her (next post. trust.)

The line in which she claims “Xykon will kill you and all your hobgoblin friends when he finds out about this!” Is also really, really delulu of her. She doesn’t seem to quite grasp that evil doesn’t care, simply because Xykon bears some resemblance to her undead ‘children.’

The fact that not a soul gave a shit when she died is also really sad. She was a big part of the team, but nobody cares I guess. Unsurprising, but still upsetting.

[necrotic-nephilim]

thank you for the tag, @sasheneskywalker!!!

rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.

favorite color: it changes regularly, but currently, a dusty/greyish purple

last song: Maps by The Front Bottoms

currently reading:

Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver is my current fiction read and i *hate* it with my entire being. don't read it.

Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets through Capital, Labor, & Power by Alice Sparkly Kat is my current non-fiction read and so far, it's very good

i'm reading a lot of comics at the moment, but my main read is Manhunter (2004) which so far, is very good, i highly recommend. i'm also planning to read Midnighter (2007) and Black Widow (2014).

currently watching:

The Acolyte has been my most recent fixation so that's just on loop rewatching over and over in the background. a lot

i've been watching Pennyworth which is far better than i expected it to be, i'm really enjoying it

i also started Invincible, which i've been enjoying

idk if it counts but i've rewatched Madame Web a concerning number of times in the past few days.

currently craving: i'd kill for an Italian Cream Soda from tea2go rn

coffee or tea: tea. i used to be a big coffee person in my teens but my chronic illness doesn't like caffeine and it *really* doesn't like coffee so i just drink tea now, but i do love tea

hobby to try: the unrealistic hobby i'd like to get into a fanfiction binding, but that takes materials and resources i do *not* currently have. i think a more realistic answer is i've been meaning to get into marvel comics more.

current au: tbh the main AU i'm working on is a Lance Brunner-centric Post-Crisis fic where i'm completely rewriting his origins to make his death as Robin more significant but still something no one talks about, leading to the ressurection of Jason also reviving Lance and Jason going on his little spree, having no idea he's not the only dead Robin. i've figured out all of the backstory and how i want to characterize Lance, but the actual plot of the fic i'm still working out. i'm leaning toward Lance/Dick as a ship, but i haven't decided. i have so many notes and ideas though and i think it's funny to take a random one-off character from a random 60s comic and actually turn him into something substantial and how he'd shape the Batfamily. trust me i'm so close to infodumping about it here everyday.

i'm also working on a *really* messed up unhealthy Damian/Tim fic, where Damian purposefully breaks the timeline so Tim was never Robin and Damian was the third Robin instead. but when Bruce "dies" Damian realizes he has no idea where to start with finding Bruce so he has to go to a civilian!Tim for help, who has no idea the timeline was changed or that he was ever Robin in a different world. it's gonna be fun and fucked up and full of Damian's jealousy complex over Tim.

i don't know if i can come up with nine whole people to tag for this since i'm still new here but i can try: @searchforahero @divine-dominion @kevin-day-is-bi @kerakeriza @deepwithintheabyss

@maryshellyswife @alicemaem @justmyshittyspace @sandmanwhore and yeah that's all i got.just tagging some mutuals/ppl i see on my posts a lot!!!

[stagkingswife]

Energy Batteries

or

A Lazy Deer’s Guide to Ignoring Space and Time in Spell Work

I’ve been pretty frank about how I don’t really incorporate timing into my magical paradigm, that’s because this “battery” trick was one of the first methods that I figured out for myself after the death of my childhood teacher.  Because I’ve been doing it for so long I admit that I find it hard to detail the process in words, it’s like explaining in words how to walk or ride a bike, so I’m going to just explain my basic theory and leave it up to you guys to work out how the details work on an individual level.  I use this basic method for storing my own energies when I have excess (rare) for use when I feel depleted (more common, thanks to chronic illnesses and pain), storing important/interesting energies for later use, even for short term housing of spirits as part of the “catch and release” relocation aspect of the house “cleansings” I do.  We’re going to focus mostly on the first two for the purposes of this post.

Storing Your Own Energy:

This is the logical place to start if you ask me, it’s basically just an energy work exercise.  Before you start get an object that you want to be your battery, I have tried all sorts of objects and haven’t found much variation in quality or ease of operation based on what object I chose, so I recommend just picking something obvious, something that you won’t forget that you charged up with a bunch of energy, or better yet, something that you can label - or put in a container with a label.  

Making the battery itself is rather simple, building off of my other energy exercises:

Get comfortable holding the object that will serve as your battery.  Some people believe that their energies flow better through one hand than the other, if this is your paradigm, hold the object in that hand, if not I find both hands work well.  

Collect your personal energy into a tightly condensed core, and pull just a little bit away from the rest and send it down one arm or the other and into the object.  

Once the connection is established you can feed a little bit more at a time, though be careful not to feed too much at a time or you may find yourself feeling drained. 

Once the object is “full”, disconnect your thread of energy from it and tuck it back into your core.  You can now store your full energy battery away until you need it. 

*I don’t really have a good way to describe how to know when a battery is getting “full,” it’s just a sort of intuitive/instinctive feeling that I get.  Usually 15-20 minutes of unbroken concentration on charging is enough to fill a battery enough to power a standard spell for me.  This is something that everyone trying this is going to need to experiment with to get a feel for.

Storing Foreign Energies:

This is how I ignore timing and spatial limitations in my spell work.  Let’s say I want to use the energy of a certain natural occurrence, like a thunderstorm, or of a certain place like the Mississippi River, or my college campus, but I don’t want to wait for a storm or until I can physically get to such a place.  Instead I collect batteries of such energies whenever the opportunity presents itself.  Then whenever I want to work some storm energies, or Mississippi energies, or college energies, into a spell I can draw on that battery regardless of where I am or what the weather is.

The bulk of the process is the same, but first I draw the energy through myself, the same way I do when channeling an entity. 

Open your mind/awareness to the energies you want to put in a battery.

Pull the energy into yourself and through yourself and just like above into the object that is going to serve as the battery using the method above. 

*For this I like to use objects somehow tied to the energy I’m storing as the physical component of the battery - vials of rainwater for the thunderstorm, rocks found in the location that I want to store the energy of.  I find the sympathetic link keeps the energy fresher and more vibrant for longer. Using a battery in spell work for me is just like using my own personal energy, or any other energy source for that matter. It's just that when using a battery I happen to know in advance exactly what energy and how much of it is available to me. I will say that I don' like to use batteries for spells that I expect to need long term or in perpetuity, unless I have enough batteries of the same kind that I can cycle them through the spell to keep the energy level consistent. Instead I like them for quick burst spells or spells with a medium duration at best.

[littledigits]

Hello..

Not sure if this is going to makes sense..... but

How does one approach studying Timing and Spacing in animation ?

Like, how would you go about taking notes/

Or observing and studying Spacing and Timing of an animated scene mindfully, so you could apply it to your own work.

Do people just watch an scene they like on something like youtube, and go frame by frame, noting down how many frames have past between each keyframe as well as the spacing by thumbnailing them down ?

I'm honestly kinda overwhelmed, and frustrated cause I have a hard time nailing down the kind of timing I want (specificlly getting that 'snap' kinda feel)...

I don't like how 'floaty' or 'smooth(?)' things tend to turn out when i try to animate ;-;

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. My friend I give you big support vibes cuz I had such a hard time understanding timing and spacing. It comes easier for some but not others and thats ok. I had to learn how to be boring with it before I got comfortable enough to experiment and I can still easily get stuck in my box. I would say that reference is a HUGE PART of making animation work. Over time you can build up your mental library and you may not need as much and just go off of your own thought process but thats something you build up to. And most people when they start will find things either can be jittery or too even, and thats just part of training your eye! Snappy animation can be tough too ! but thats why learning from it is GREAT. Gosh theres so much you can learn from frame by framing things - especially classic hand drawn stuff. So i 100% would recommend finding some ref of the style you want to emulate and just try it out and 100% -figure out how many frames in between , seeing just how much they manipulate the pose, anything really! Its not about getting it all right, its just about breaking it down and learning a few things at a time and going 'OH maybe ill try that out next time' I think you going ' hey this feels too floaty and isint the vibe' is you exactly describing what the problem is. Your in-betweens are probably very evenly spaced out- but thats a really common problem when people first start. But the solution is just as you said - REF. And in animation that is more of a part of the job then anything honestly, same with storyboard. and learning a lot from eachother. I FEEL YOU THOUGH. I was there too, and it took me longer then others to be able to get what I want. But you're on the right track , just dive in to doing that good good frame by frame and then trying it out yourself ! here are some links that you may find useful as well ! https://gingercatsneeze.tumblr.com/post/145037677357/1-ah-fai-was-a-chief-animator-for

HOPE THAT HELPS ! <3

[licncourt]

Hey there! I've recently read your post on whether one should read the VC books, and I'm still unsure. I really really loved the AMC show and from what I read on your blog the books are a lot different. Even if I only read the first three books, which is what I would do anyway after what you said in your post lol, it would feel like two different stories with the same characters, right?

What I wanna ask really is what are the main differences between loustat, armand, and the plot from the show and from the books? Are they completely different things? or somewhat similar?

I've talked about this quite a bit in various ways if you look through my older answers, but my take is that the AMC show is more "inspired by" VC than anything. A lot of the plot beats are the same (just in a different historical context), but I feel like the character motivations and essences are quite different. Both are good stories, but I would say they're kind of a Venn diagram with an equal amount of similarities and differences. If you read the books, you'll definitely find yourself knowing what's coming a lot of the time, but even the characters themselves are very different.

My AMC hot takes tag (which I'll leave in these tags too) can probably answer your questions better, but in a nutshell:

Book Lestat is very young (21) and has been a vampire for less than ten years when he turned Louis in 1791. He's very impulsive, quick to anger, and deeply unstable, but none of that is ever concealed from Louis. He's much more openly unpleasant In IWTV but because of that much less capable of manipulation and scheming than AMC Lestat, who seems to be much smarter and more calculated. Book Louis is just. A worse person in general than AMC Louis. I say that even though he is my little baby, it's just true. I wrote this last year about that business if you're interested.

That difference in personality and history makes book Loustat a lot different since the two of them are openly hostile to each other from day one but running off of loneliness and desperation. They're very hot and cold but mostly cold, just intense, insane love with no understanding or empathy between them whatsoever, though obviously that changes throughout the books. They're both very close to the same age (in physical age and total years) as well, so it's very much the blind leading the blind plus so much trauma and mental illness and so many impulsive, terrible ideas.

IWTV isn't that long of a book, so I'd really recommend just giving it a go, and if you're interested in learning about what makes book Lestat tick, TVL isn't either!

As far as Armand, he's basically just younger and a redhead, equally crazy and unhelpful, we love to see it.

[puella-1n-somn10]

🕊️Puella Magi Madoka Magica x Team Fortress 2: Medic and his Witch Form🕊️

word count w/o intro text: 10,651

(Over...two...months...of writing; thank FUCK I've managed to get this all down right on time for Halloween!)

This has been a long time consideration, and, according to one of my last few polls, ya'll really wanted to see how I would interpret Medic's witch form! Well, after a long-time wait, here's the rundown of how Medic's witch would look like in my mind!

Before we start, I highly recommend that you look at the list of trigger warnings present in the tags; the Team Fortress 2 universe, both in-game and outside of it, is no stranger to gruesome elements, so I strongly urge you to take a long look at them before proceeding. If any of the mentioned makes you uncomfortable in whatever form, look away now for the sake of your own health.

As expected, spoilers for Madoka Magica, Kazumi Magica, Tart Magica, Magia Record (especially the anime), and the Team Fortress 2 comics ahead! We are going to talk about one of the many stingers of the Puella Magi universe, after all! On top of that, there will be mentions of Heavy x Medic x Engineer, so if the ship doesn't sit right with you, I must sincerely apologize in advance; it is recommended to click away from this post if said ship is not your cup of tea at all.

With all that being said, let us begin with this mess of an analysis/ficlet post!

-The Wish, Possible Powers, and Soul Gem-

"Oh ho hoh! I have been in zhe wrong profession. I must learn zhis magic!"

Let's be blunt here for a second- he's already laid waste to whatever concept of "morals" present within the human consciousness that would prevent him from furthering his medical and experimental endeavors, and he's done so much without the use of an incubator's powers; from granting his teammates invincibility to bringing them back from the clutches of death. Ludwig's immoral, sickened mind, coupled with his medical skills and treatment of the human body as an art canvas, has allowed him to play God.

On the other hand, though he did align himself with the opposing Classic team for some time within the comics, he explained to the newly-resurrected Sniper that it was purely for financial reasons, and that he never harbored any ill-will towards his teammates. In fact, it would be safe for us to assume that he, in his mind, genuinely cares for his team, and made it one of his missions to turn them into unstoppable killing machines- into gods. He cherishes his fellow mercenaries...albeit in his own twisted, inhumane, and silly way.

Building upon the above, it is also clear that Ludwig is a responsible pet owner and genuinely cares for his doves, especially Archimedes. Yes, he does resort to using animal organs - especially the exotic kind - when fit in order to further his experiments and enhance his teammates' performances, but the contrast between that and his care for the birds is kind of a testament to how he treat other humans - especially the classic team - vs. how he treats the mercs and others close to him. For goodness' sake, he's put Classic Heavy's demands on a back burner and allowed Sniper to escape while he was too busy reviving Archimedes! Ludwig does have a heart and the capacity to care, but not much in terms of morals, if at all.

Wow, he would definitely get along with Alina Gray, huh?

So, right off the bat, it wouldn't be farfetched for Medic to be curious over Kyubey's wish-granting skills; he did make a deal with the Devil himself on two separate occasions within the official Team Fortress 2 comics (though the initial deal's conditions is still unknown to us), after all. How he came to figuring out the existence of the incubators is anyone's guess at this point due to his unpredictable nature, but, in my opinion, it can range from old folklore surrounding the species or simply finding out that one of the mercs had already contracted (my personal bets are either Heavy or Solly). I recommend going off the walls with this one; for all we know, he could have managed to detect spikes in magical activity around the base/island and forced himself into the world of Magi, Witches, and wishes- all the while a certain little bipedal fiend began to showcase an equal amount of interest in him for reasons we are going to dive into soon.

On to the main topic of his wish, it's quite simple, really; it would be related to his hunger for power/knowledge and furthering his research/scientific endeavors; promptly dissipating whatever is limiting his experimental pursuits (maybe even financial, as presented to us in the comics).

Another possible wish that he could have made might be rooted to the bonds he had formed with the mercenaries and the surprisingly deep respect he had shown to each one them on numerous occasions. Such fascination towards his teammates is even presented to us within the beta version of Meet the Medic, where he made his goal of enhancing them and turning them into beings akin to the divine as clear as daylight. I won't deny the fact that this man just keep on finding out new ways to break both the Hypocratic Oath and Geneva Conventions with each passing minute - and it's usually for his own amusement -, but he also seeks to sculpt each mercenary into the best versions of themselves not just as a testament to his own prowess, but also because of his fascination towards them; he just likes those goobers around him and sees the mercs as his fellow pals.

With all that being said, I personally don't believe that whatever power he gained as a result of these wishes would be on a similar caliber as his canonical healing skills; after all, even without Kyubey's interference, he has shown to be exceptionally skilled in his craft to the extent that he had deemed himself to be a god on multiple occasions- and none of them were without reason. Instead, I believe that the core theme of his new magical powers relate to limits- whatever barriers that prevented him from unlocking his and the rest's full potential, and fully dissipating them. Perhaps he can manifest organs, transfer them at high speeds, all the while making his surgeries a little easier for himself. The option of him being able to create little animated "familiars" of his own from the remains of both ally and enemy alike is also there. If you guys have better ideas, please don't hesitate to share; I'll have to admit that this coming up with wish-related powers is a personal weak point of mine, and I will be accepting any and all criticisms coming my way.

Finally, to close this section and move on to the next, I would also like to discuss the matter surrounding his soul gem, and how I would personally interpret it. I am unsure if what I am going to say next has been backed up by canon or not, but a nice detail that I have noticed whilst looking into the soul gems present in canon is that they often correspond with the eye colors of their respective magi; which brings to mind the idea of eyes being the windows to a person's soul. Even if it's not a mandatory rule for when it comes to designing a Magi (especially when we take Nagisa Momoe into account), we can still see this metaphor being at play on numerous occasions throughout the Madoka canons, and where else is it more evident than within Kazumi Magica and the Magia Record anime?

Putting it briefly, aside from just looking at their soul gem, another indicator of a magi's slip into witchhood is by looking into their eyes during their final moments; Michiru Kazusa's sclera turned completely dark as her pupils began to shift into scribbles, and Kuroe - poor, sweet Kuroe - had the same corruption her soul gem was undergoing being displayed from within, you guessed it, her eyes.

So, while I do believe that red could be a nice color for Ludwig's soul gem, as it would also correspond with him being on the RED team - as presented to us on the cover of Fight Songs -, I can also see that a striking blue could also fit our crazy bastard.

As for the emblems present on his soul gem's egg form and its shape upon transformation, I'm gonna be honest; this is gonna be a little more complex than the color part - especially with the soul gems of Tart Magica and Magia Record in mind -, but I will do my best to summarize it to the best of my abilities-

To make this easier for my sanity's sake, the red cross he is already associated with in-game will be present as the emblem on top of his soul gem, though the the one on the middle would probably be based on either his bonesaw, the Ubercharge, a realistic heart (as a tie-in to how the Ubercharge works), or his doves instead. The actual shape his soul gem take on upon transformation, on the other hand, would resemble a large, anatomical heart placed on the center of his chest - connected to the rest of it and his shoulders through glass arteries and veins - due to its sheer size; usually, a magi's soul gem is only large enough to fit within the palm of their hands, while Medic's could be as huge as his curled-up fist or even an ostrich's egg.

The cause behind this peculiarity will be thoroughly explained soon enough, but, for now, let us close this chapter up and move on to the next...

-Descent Into Despair-

Before we kick off this angst fest and start hypothesizing, we're gonna need to take a good look at the nature of the soul and how this ties into the existing similarities shared between Kyubey and Ludwig- yes, this will get wild, especially if you're in only one of those fandoms from the outside looking in, so it's best for you to buckle up, hon, 'cause we in for a fucking joyride.

According to multiple religious and philosophical texts, the soul is a vital, non-physical part of a human being; it is an individual's very core of existence. The soul isn't exactly abstract, per se, as it's believed to actually exist between the lines of this plane of reality and that of the intangible world, and that each person has a unique soul that is distinctly theirs; it is, by definition, metaphysical- that person is the soul, as much as the soul is them.

Despite the limitations placed upon us by the very nature of the soul, it can be treated as a tangible and even physical object within both the TF2 and PMMM canons; in the latter case, Kyubey was able to turn them into magical gems for the sake of both efficiency and "incubation" - the goal of turning his victims into despair-riddled witches that spread the very misery they are drowning in -, all the while, in the Team Fortress universe, they are treated as nothing more than organs that can be removed and then reapplied at will by the very hands of, you guessed it, our very own Ludwig Humboldt for the dual purpose of conning the Devil out of the ownership of his soul and, in turn, extending his own life span.

This brings us back to the very moment where Ludwig made his wish with Kyubey; as presented to us via both Sayaka Miki and Homura Akemi, the process of making a wish and establishing a contract with Kyubey is proven to be quite the painful procedure, as they were able to feel their souls being pulled right out of their bodies by Kyubey in order to remold the very cores of their whole existence into these magical jewels known as Soul Gems; shining with the wishes that bind them to the life of a Magi until they inevitably reach their grisly ends.

Medic, of all people, would absolutely be the first to know exactly how painful it would be to have one's soul be forcefully ripped out of one's own body; he had already done so to 8 other people before grafting the extracted essences into himself. As result of this forced amalgamation, the size of his soul gem would be, as already stated, much larger than average. As for Medic himself and his reaction to his accumulated souls being turned into this grand artifact of magical potential, he would be in a state of shock, awe, and perhaps even a tinge of conflict - from the pain alone, he knew that his souls were tampered with; extracted and reforged -, but they were miniscule when compared to the wave of amazement that washed over him as he held the newly formed symbol of his status as a magi in his hands, shining a brilliant red with the wish he made with the white devil before him.

If Medic had to be honest, he would say, without a shadow of a doubt, that the incubators sure knew what they were doing; despite the tinge of bitterness regarding his souls being torn out of him, it was undeniable that having his life essences be turned into an all-powerful jewel was rather efficient, especially when stranded within the chaotic, unforgiving battlefield. Besides, this deal not only granted him what he desired most in life, but it unlocked a whole new world for him to explore; the realm of the witches.

After his first witch hunt went off without a hitch, he looked at his soul gem...yes, it had dimmed a little, and, according to his newly-formed, four-legged acquaintance, its brightness reflected what magic he had left; the very power he had gained from their infernal deal. This knowledge, combined with the grief seed taking in the impurities he had accumulated, had sparked inspiration within him, and, inevitably, that little glimmer turned into a raging, uncontrollable wildfire.

As his lips curled into that deranged smile of his, he arrived to the conclusion that he needed to research both his soul gem and these otherworldly monsters. Oh, was he was ever-so excited; a whole new world of possibilities had unveiled before him! He knew he had to learn more about these witches, for they were prime candidates for new observations and experiments...

Besides, if things were to go awry, he would have his backup plans as safeguards. He looked at the large jewel on his desk, its light reflecting on his glasses, with a look of complete confidence- after all, he was Ludwig Humboldt, the RED team's medic; he had already played the classic team like the money-hungry fools they were, defied all known laws of life, death, and nature on the regular, and bested the Devil in his own game! What bases of morality and human decency were little more than etches on the wall to him, and he was willing to go above and beyond to ensure his own and the rest's survival.

He cackled; oh, there was no need for any worries, my friend! Whatever that may come to pass, he shall find a workaround. So, with his lips curling into that toothy smile of his, he went to work-

Just like clockwork, it didn't take long for his signature obsession to dig its talons; day by day, he would salvage what parts of these unfathomable creatures and bring them back to his infirmary- even going as far as to capture their familiars and the smaller witches to bring back. After all, killing these wicked creatures outright would just cause them and their barriers to fade away, so he had to think of workarounds in order to harvest as much useful parts of them as he could.

All that, and that is without even getting into the details of the bargain he had made with the little pale ferret- why, that rascal Kyubey could be considered a new good friend of his in his eyes! He had even experimented on the bipedal fiend, and the Incubator held no grudge towards the quack doctor (hence how he came into the knowledge of his entire species and the fact that they were a hivemind). Back on topic- yes, the contract in itself was agonizing, there was no denying that, but at least he had gained a myriad of benefits from their mutual agreement.

Yet, as the saying goes, the higher they soar, the harder they fall.

Within every enforced law and in every deal made, loopholes were an inevitability- Ludwig and Kyubey knew that all too well as the roles of the recipient and contractor respectively. Time and curiosity have worked hand-in-hand in order to nurture their individual experiences and wisdom surrounding this unwritten rule of the universe. As several blazing days turned into howling nights, Ludwig's intrigue towards the limitations set before him as both a mercenary and a Puer Magi grew; his souls being turned into a singular, portable trinket was effective, yes, especially with the magic he had gained and his more than impressive healing abilities making both jobs a lot more easier, but, of course, so much could go wrong in the long run-

Ah, and these witches- at this stage, he had accomplished what many had deemed to be either impossible or far too risky; lining up the walls of his laboratory, amongst the butchered appendages and organs of their kin, were the captured forms of smaller witches and familiars- some were still struggling to be set free, while the others have resigned themselves to their fates. Whenever Ludwig wasn't on either battlefields or experimenting on his teammates, he would be slicing and chopping these poor souls away- trying to see how they functioned, or even analyzing their individual reactions to his little tests. Each of these curse-driven monstrosities' very existence brought forth a cluster of enigmas that only Ludwig could unravel, and the answer to these riddles must be tied to the very core of these beings- whether we're talking about how they would function as a living organism...or their grief seeds.

Besides...in his mind, there was nothing wrong with getting a few more benefits for yourself, was there? So long as such a possibility could help him continue on with both his life and work without any worries over the unknown, he was willing to take that chance. He was more than willing to rise up in the face of these hindrances- even if it took nearly pushing his soul to its breaking point, or unleashing what horrors mankind is not ready for once he manages to crack open a grief seed, he was certain he would find his way through this maze.

Unfortunately, his trickery of the devil himself had rendered him too confident. This unassuming little creature was no devil.

The further he descended down the inferno, the more barricades he had encountered on his way; wounding and injuring him to no end. Even with his soul gem on the edge of shattering, the grief seeds he had gathered were torn apart, watching as his own teammates neared their own limits as he caught up with them during their own witch hunts- the result was the same; he needed to research this even further. The fact that the two objects were apparently made of the same material had led Ludwig to several hypotheses - even coming close to the truth himself -, but, let us be real here for a second- if he did manage to figure out the truth behind the witches, which, logically speaking, he would, would it even come close to bothering him?

In fact...who was to say that, by learning the origins behind these creatures, that he wouldn't embrace the corruption of his soul gem? That he wouldn't lay his old vessel to waste, and treat his ascension to a higher plane of existence as a new experience for him? If that wasn't the case, then wouldn't he also inadvertently boost the process by going through meaningless hoops in the attempt to prevent his pre-written fate?

When looking at a man like Ludwig, a man already too far gone, only cold insanity and sadism irradiated from him- possessing an uncaring glee over the prospect of being able to experiment on the less fortunate souls who got in his way. His insistence on carrying on with his research came to the shock of almost nobody; such was his habit, and the mercenaries got used to his antics over time- yet, as time passed, his grip on his frustrations, desperation, and ever-growing drive continued to waver; everything about this new perspective on life filled him with a sense of wonder, even the countless roadblocks he had encountered still gave him a sense of awe...

His soul gem was as large as it was powerful, yes; it would take a larger accumulation of filth in order to actually affect him in any way or manner, and the reserves of magic he had- oh, how brightly must his gem shine when at its peak! Yet, one must consider at what point will the accumulated filth become...irreversible- how, at a certain threshold, the process of gathering up enough grief seeds to make sure it stays at its brightest at all times will yield more drawbacks than prospects of restoration? That the net value of the magic restored will inevitably hit zero if not the negatives?

How many times must this cycle repeat itself in order for the magi to inevitably give up on keeping their own soul completely pure at all times?

Ludwig still managed to keep his magic reserves somewhat afloat; though his cheerful and friendly mannerisms haven't wavered a bit, he couldn't keep his attention away from the developments that were unfolding before him. The experiments he had conducted on both his soul gem and the grief seeds he had gathered up did not help at all; further damaging and tainting his core only to satiate his own curiosity. He saw no issues as darkness slowly consumed his soul gem- it was simply another phenomenon to experience and document, no? It wasn't like it was hurting him or anything- if anything grim were to occur, he had his backup plans...if he could find one that actually worked...

No matter what Ludwig did, it appeared that his core was strictly bound to this jewel; he wasn't able to separate the souls within it, and, no matter how many times he would place another soul within him, it would just fade away as soon as he reached for it- purifying his soul gem in the process and leaving Ludwig as hollow as he was before the tests.

...He needed to study this further.

Ludwig's worries and starvation for answers gnawed at him. Within his glass heart, shades of ebony and crimson danced around one another, with only a small glimmer of light flickering through the veins existing to provide any form of luminescence, and his eyes-

Mikhail felt a lump on his throat as he gazed into the medic's soul through them- his once bright, fear-inducing blue eyes were beyond bloodshot, and, by his life, he could have sworn he saw the particles of his overheals float amidst the chaos. Still, Misha gulped down his worries as he placed the sandwich on Ludwig's desk and expressed his concerns over his health- to which the doctor thanked him - for both the meal and his considerations -, and assured the Heavy Weapons Guy before him that it was really nothing to flutter his feathers over, in his own words.

It was all going to be worth it soon. He knew it.

Tensions within the RED base grew with every passing day, and nobody sensed it more than Mikhail and Dell Conagher; though Ludwig would insist that he was alright - that it was all a part of the usual routine - and how close he was to a breakthrough, the two couldn't help but look out for the well-being of their medic. For the last few weeks to come, the two would keep a close eye on him- checking on the guy every now and then - as much as they could -, and making sure he hadn't completely lost himself.

His answers were becoming more cryptic as time passed; no matter how much Dell would ask and express his concerns, Ludwig would still act nonchalant, even as his eyes continued to darken with and his health evidently took a nosedive. This was no need for the concern, my friend; he continued to promise the engineer that it was all working out fine, and that he'll be okay once it's all over. Dell still kept his guards up; worried that, one day, Ludwig's gonna go completely off the rails- his and Mikhail's resolution to keep that man safe grew with each conversation they had with him. Something just ain't completely sound here, and he'll have to be there for him when that time comes.

What a hollow vow.

Days blurred with one another in Ludwig's mind. Each passing second held little to no significance to him anymore. No, he had to continue on with his hunts- he needed to. His doves looked at him with worried expressions; the lab was a mess, with papers and feathers scattered everywhere, the lights burnt out, and Ludwig himself slouched on the chair- illuminated by moonlight, and still carrying that damned gem.

And...he was never as satisfied as he was right at this very moment.

He looked down at his beaten-down, darkening soul gem- it was all worth it, no? He gazed into the flickering crimsons as though he was in a daze. He was exhausted, unable to get up on his feet, but he didn't mind that at all. His team will understand soon enough...

The light within his soul gem went into a frenzy- he smiled from ear to ear, for it was finally time; the hour of revelation had dawned upon him. Like a grand supernova, it collapsed into itself.

Ludwig tilted his head backwards, still fascinated by what was happening before him even as all life escaped his eyes. He embraced the corruption consuming him, and, with a crack and a flash of bright light, the entire RED base was sent into chaos.

-The Witch's Nature-

In short, this is tied to the personality/aspect of a magi that did them in; what drove them to slip into despair with their skulls cracking wide open upon impact. To provide a few set examples; Homulilly's was Self-Sufficiency (closing herself off from others as both Moemura and Cool Homu), Oktavia's was to Fall in Love (the infatuation with both Kyosuke and the ideal of a Magical Girl marked poor Sayaka's end), and Candeloro's was inviting (Mami's coping mechanism to deal with her loneliness- and the irony of her dragging innocents into the life of a magi). It can also reflect the intent behind their wish (Sayaka and Madoka) or how they would cope with the life of a magi and the responsibilities that come with it moving forwards prior to their demise (Mami, Kyoko and Homura).

Unfortunately, it is rather....difficult to describe the traits and convictions that cause such complex characters to do what they have done in a single sentence, much less a word or two. For all anyone would know, any of the mentioned above - cause of their wishes, how they cope, and what finally marked their ends - could have been driven by a multitude of a magi's traits and goals, and Ludwig was no exception.

To make this easier on everyone, myself included, I have divided most of the traits that have pushed Lud over the edge into separate segments. The suggested natures listed below are in no particular order; one can fit the bill more than the other. Though I have chosen only one of them for the witch card, ya'll are free to reinterpret it with any of the other suggested natures.

Desperate

Cunning

Wonder

Sadistic

To Experiment

Observant

Curious

-The Witch's Appearance-

"I have a bird head! You're dominated! We're both having a bad day."

This might either be the most fun or the most agonizing segment of the entire thing. As a matter of fact, aside from his descent to despair, this part took me the longest to conceptualize, and it's still not 100% complete in my eyes, oh dear oh me-

Right off the bat- the witch has to be gruesome. I am not placing heavy emphasis on this one just because this is Medic we're talking about and how we're all aware of his...peculiar views on his job and the human body, but it's also due to the aforementioned souls he's surgically implanted into himself prior to contracting. Let me state this again- before managing to find and ensure a contract with Kyubey, the man had already managed to turn the abstract concept of a soul into nothing more than an organ that can be grafted into himself; that ferret's nifty trick is no longer special.

To showcase exactly why the topic of Lud having multiple souls is so integral here, we have to recall that, throughout the Puella Magi canon, we have witnessed witches fusing with one another via various means; it has been stated that Walpurgisnacht was a singular witch who fused with others over time, and Kazumi Magica's Hyades Daybreak was an artificially-created witch born from the fusion of multiple soul gems. You could argue that Madokami is another such example thanks to Homura's resets and wish having her as the main focus; thus binding her to multiple iterations of herself across numerous timelines (as is it made clear to us with Madokami's transformation sequence in Magia Record).

The point being is that not only is Medic's witch's stupidly powerful, but I doubt it would be pretty to the eyes; unlike Madoka, those souls weren't originally his, and the way that he fused himself with said souls is thanks to his, let's say, bizarre surgical skills, and not due to whatever logic is behind the witches' ability to fuse with one another. Think of the core of his very being as an amalgam; whether he's retained his original soul from the Devil's ownership upon contracting or not is up to you, but the idea still stands nonetheless. It wouldn't just be some Frankenstein-esque monstrosity with stitches, additional appendages, and mismatched skin, either; the organs representing the souls he had stolen are there for all to see just beneath his unassuming, reliable, and even charming exterior.

Now that we've gotten some key details written down, we are going to have to examine his role, self-image, history, and the impact his actions had on the rest of the team in order to actually, well, design the bastard's personification of obsession and despair; these four elements are crucial for when it comes to designing a decent witch that would not only fit in the world of Madoka Magica, but also drive home the idea that these witches were once Magi themselves- with their own dreams and goals.

We'll kick this off by looking at Ludwig's role in the canon of Team Fortress 2; he is the de-facto healer, but he's less interested in actually helping the ill and is more into the idea of tinkering with the human form- going as far as to use animal organs for his whack scientific endeavors for the goal of satisfying his curiosity. His healing abilities are also stated to be side-effects of his knowledge regarding human anatomy- even the Medigun wasn't initially supposed to be healing the mercs, according to the lore provided for us.

While on topic, I should also bring Medic's gameplay onto the table; though he is one of the weaker classes when speaking in terms of strength, making sure your team's medic stays on the map for as long as you could is crucial. Think of him as the king piece on a chess board; once your doc out of the picture, not only will your team start to drop like flies, but you'll lose some of that sweet, sweet Uber time. There is a reason as to why Medics tend to stay around the more resilient classes rather than glass cannons like Scout; survival and defenses.

Next up, we'll talk about his self-image and how he is perceived by the rest. As we can tell, he takes much delight in his work and his experiments on other human beings- he doesn't see anything to worry about his interests and the peculiar way he goes about it, no matter how extreme it is. Obviously, the man's not in-tune with the concept of human morality- going as far as to see these unwritten rules of humanity as nothing more than roadblocks on the way of his life.

In spite of his...screws being more than loose, as I already stated above, it isn't like he sees his fellow mercenaries as lesser beings when compared to himself; he does like them, albeit in his own amoral, gory way - he wouldn't have granted them the power of invincibility otherwise, among the other feats in modern science he had accomplished in order to save his team's asses -. Yeah, he does experiment on them, but, at this point, that's just how he says "hello"- and, when compared to what he did to the Classics, the adjustments made were for the active benefit of his team (...most of the time).

From all this, we can tell that his witch is on the more dangerous side (AS IF THE EXTRA SOULS DIDN'T DO THE JOB?)- with a dash of grace, of course; a reflection of his friendly exterior hiding away his twisted interests and "job"- and, fellas, he adores his work. He holds no regards for the safety of his patients and how outlandish his experiments are; he already kept an enemy Spy's head alive in a fridge, for corn's sake. Nonetheless, he is still a competent doctor- more than competent, in fact; when given the right tools, organs, time, and budget- death is no more than a small hurdle to him. He also genuinely cares for his fellow mercs, even going as far as to call them his friends; maybe that's how the witch will see his own familiars? What if he also tries to smile, joke around, and sing lullabies as he cuts open his human victims?

By looking at this being, only unfathomable, suffocating dread surrounded you- for you were in the presence of he who holds the thread between life and death. This creature before you- no, that isn't right...this deity looked down upon his next patient; surrounded by the lifeless husks of his familiars and their victims, he was rather annoyed over the prospect of having his work be interrupted, but he was also more glad that a living being had wandered into the operating room. Yes, he knew it now; a sadistic sense of glee beamed from the monster as he knew that the next medical trial will be a lot more interesting than he had expected.

Finally, to wrap things up, we glance at his history. Now, I am going to give you guys the heads-up in advance, because not only will this segment be composed of speculations for the most part, but we will be discussing themes of ethn1c gen0c1de. If this topic is in any way triggering, scroll down to the part where we talk about either the latter part of his design, his barrier- or just skip right to the Witch's Card. Clicking away from this post altogether is also highly encouraged.

Much of Ludwig's history is currently kept wrapped under shadows- we were told of Mikhail's, Tavish's, Jeremy's, Dell's, Mundy's, and even Jane's lives before they joined RED/BLU and partook in the Gravel Wars, but, aside from the enigmatic Pyro, Medic was the only one whose backstory was never clearly given to us. All we have to go off of are the bits and pieces peppered across the official website(s) and several official cosmetics-

We all know that he was native to and lived in Germany "during an era where the Hippocratic Oath had been downgraded to an optional Hippocratic suggestion" until he had escaped it by hijacking a catering van during a prime minister's wedding for reasons currently unclear to us - it has been speculated it was due to him having stolen a man's whole skeleton, but he had stated that he lost his medical license soon after the incident -. In the Two Cities update, one of the signs present in Rottenburg, his hometown, was that of a pharmacy advertising a number of...odd products, one of which being Baboon Hearts (leading to the speculation that his name has to be Humboldt- as it was the name of said pharmacy and the confirmation that Medic descended from a line of mad scientists like himself). We also know that he had found and then adopted his doves, namely Archimedes, as he escaped via grand theft catering van.

These should be all he scraps we were given in regards to Ludwig as a character outside of his job and the mercenary business, right? Weeeeeeelll....not quite. There is still one more jigsaw puzzle we should piece together, and, when combined with the time period TF2 takes place in, it does not paint a pretty picture of his life prior to becoming a mercenary. Folks...

We have to talk about Ludwig's Jewish coding, and the implications it has in regards to his backstory when combined with the timeline of the Team Fortress universe.

Though it was never explicitly stated to us, several aspects of Medic do shine a light towards this specific direction; to make this easier for us all, I'll just be listing down the evidence present across the canons of both the game and the comics-

The theme song of his bird, Archimedes, that plays during his surgery on Heavy in Meet the Medic is Klezmer music- Yiddish folk music

His pronunciation of "Danke Schon" is the Yiddish way

In the Gargoyles and Gravel comic, he was dressed up as the openly Jewish Albert Einstein for Halloween

The most damning of all, Valve's insistence that Medic is NOT a N-zi; especially with how fanmade cosmetics that portray him in such a way are often taken down almost immediately

Now, I do understand the fact that Ludwig is far from a saint, but...you have to understand the sheer, vile evil the N-zis and their ideology embody- and, unfortunately, he was also another target for their venomous rampage. Add in the fact that it was at full swing back when Lud was a young adult and he probably witnessed the rise of the heinous ideology when he was a little sap, and...there is no way I can say this lightly-

Ludwig had lived through dark, heinous years. Maybe he's always been this crazy, maybe what was left of his sanity had shattered to brittle pieces thanks to what he and countless others were forced to experience- perhaps he was already insane, but the slaughters and oppression were a whole other degree of evil to him; of course, until the writers at Valve say otherwise, all this falls upon how you personally interpret Medic as a character and how he coped with his backstory.

Though this is all just simple speculation based on what bits and pieces of the man's background we were given officially, it does bring into question what Lud had experienced outside of his medical endeavors. Besides, topics surrounding the second world war have already been explored in the world of TF2- Heavy's backstory is one example, where he and his family were sent to a gulag following the imprisonment and execution of his father, a counter-revolutionist; they only managed to escape once it had burnt down. The trauma of the experience still lingers within Mikhail, as was shown to us in A Cold Day in Hell, so such a backstory for Ludwig is not out of the realm of possibility.

With all that in mind, one must wonder about the kinds of thoughts that were running through Ludwig's mind during that time, and place his escape from Germany under a different light. I must, once again, repeat the statement that Ludwig is not a good man, but did that justify whatever he possibly went through? He even went as far as to crash a political figure's wedding in order to flee; was it because of the hilarity factor TF2 and Medic as a character are well-known for - namely after he stole that dude's skeleton -? Or was there another aspect at play- one of utmost urgency? After all, leaving one's home country for good has got to be a difficult decision- he didn't even return to Rottenburg when Grey Mann took over, implying that, unlike the rest, he didn't have anything waiting for him back home...

Ah, it wasn't like it mattered to him nowadays, anyway; nay, he dared not to think about it any further- all that mattered to him now were his research...his experiments...

So, with all the complicated stuff set on the table, let's move on to the simpler bits of a witch's design- the glue that tie all these bits and pieces together!

Where do we start? With the Magi's own design, of course! After all, Oktavia's knightly theme didn't just come from Sayaka's desire to become a hero/Kyosuke's knight in shining armor, and don't get me started on Homulilly's final form. I am certain that there are other witches that would also help get the point across, like Charlotte, but let's not extend this segment too much.

Upon taking a closer look, we can see that Ludwig's design invokes the imagery of a dove - just like how the little nubs on Nagisa's hat are reminiscent of mouse ears (and we all know how her witch form looks like) -, especially with the ends of his coat resembling a dove's tail feathers. Several cosmetics of his that are present in the game also boost this specific theme of his, especially the Blighted Beak mask, the Wings of Purity, and, of course, the infamous Medimedes bird head.

Of course, this might be a reference to the doves in his lab - there we go, simple as that -, but I don't think that's all there is to it; remember, for an amoral, crazed man like Medic, he is still represented by holy themes, much like any other healer in most media. When you think of a healer, you think of a person who swore under the oath of not doing any harm, and have devoted themselves to the life of pacifism...everything that Medic is not. In fact, Medic himself invokes the fear of being before the almighty; how small and utterly insignificant we are in his eyes, and that, to a being with a mind like Ludwig's, our lives are in the palms of his hands to toy with.

Ah, sacricore and holy themes- don't we just love them? The idea of a savior is definitely written down; a brilliant being with evidence of the slaughter staining his hands. Doves are also gonna be heavily referenced- what kind of Medic-related design are we working on if we didn't give him a pair of wings or two?

As a matter of fact, who is to say that the witch isn't a mad, humanoid-ish dove? With his crooked, bright smile and unfeeling red eyes being hidden by his aura and brilliant, white feathers? You think you might be in the presence of a god of hospitals and medicine, and he even approaches you with such a cheerful demeanor; happy to see a patient stumbling into his lab! That is, until you see how red the ends of his feathers are, how wide that smile is under that plague mask of his, and his eyes...

Hang on- is this a plague mask to begin with? As your eyes finally focus...you can see that it is jutting out of his skin- it's not a mask, but a part of his skull.

Next, we are going to focus on the magi's weapon and what powers they had prior to witchification; now, I am aware that their weapons and their powers are not always reflected in their witch designs - coughs coughs, Kriemhild and Homulilly -, but it does appear to be an "either/both/neither" case for when it comes to analyzing and designing them - I mean, just look at Ophelia -. Besides, Team Fortress 2 is a combat-oriented game, so it would be of great disservice to the game if I did NOT incorporate the main vessel in which you would use to bludgeon your enemies to smithereens with.

Once more, the Medic's main shtick is healing and granting your team a wide number of buffs depending on the medigun equipped; the Kritzkrieg grants a 100% crit chance upon activation, the Vaccinator provides immunity/reduced damage against several damage types, and don't get me started on the number of buffs a Medic can grant their team alone in the Mann vs. Machine mode. For now, we'll just be focusing on the classical Medigun, and how it grants invincibility to both himself and the person he is healing upon activation.

As seen in Meet the Medic, this was possible due to the adjustments made on each of the mercs' hearts- or, what replacements they have received in place of said organs, considering that even HEAVY'S had burst from the pressure caused by his medigun's rays. It is shown to us that the heart begins to pump at an accelerated rate upon activation, likely to spread the influence of the medigun at full power through the subject's veins; turning them into a bulletproof behemoths ready to turn the enemy team into a pile of mush.

From this alone, we can pinpoint the idea that hearts are an important motif in his witch's design. I'd also wager that he'd also possess powers that aren't unlike the functionalities of his medigun; allowing him to heal himself, his familiars, and even other witches at close proximity- bloodthirsty, erratic mercenary or not, he is still the team's doctor. Once the witch starts glowing red, you only have a few seconds to either find a weak point as soon as you could or make a break for it.

To further build upon this theme, attached to his back, not looking too dissimilar to how his medigun backpack, are vials filled with fluid that each resemble the lights of a soul gem at its limit. Within them, he stores his victim's souls, blood, guts, and organs for future usage. How did they get here? Why, with his other appendage hidden inside his forearm; resembling a combination between a saw and a needle. It is easy to use a surgical knife, yes, but some patients are...less than cooperative.

Before we unveil the finalized-ish idea for the witch, I should also take a second to talk about his hypothetical barrier and possible witch's kiss/warlock's whisper. It is true that the most powerful witches in-canon don't exactly need to hide in their barriers - case in point, Walpurgisnacht, Kriemhild Gretchen, Hyades and Shitori Egumo -, but, if we go by the concept art pertaining to Kriemhild Gretchen, we can see that they do have labyrinths they call their own. Even Walpurgisnacht has a pocket space she calls her home; it's the none other than the monochrome hallway Madoka was running through during episode 1, as confirmed by the PSP Game. If neither Walpurgis nor Kriemhild were exempt from this rule, then it shouldn't be surprising to see that this also applies to Ludwig's witch.

As stated in the January 2012 issue of Dengeki Playstation, a witch's labyrinth represents "the magical girl's mental landscape before they became a witch"; Oktavia's was a concert hall- resembling the one where she would watch Kyousuke play the violin, Candeloro's a tea party for one- representing how she would cope with her loneliness and the fact that she arranged her meetings with Madoka and Sayaka as tea parties -, and, according to the aforementioned concept art, Kriemhild's barrier is an obsidian and magenta void full of floating furniture- specifically those of her and her mother's rooms.

From these examples, we can assume that the barrier represent core memories of the magi before they fell into despair, and are either tied to the reason behind their wishes or how they coped with their lives after contracting:

Madoka had a healthy family life in comparison to the other members of the holy quintet, and it is thanks to the environment she was raised in that she ended up becoming the merciful, selfless girl that we all know today

Everything about Homulilly's barrier just represent how much Madoka meant to Homura, even if she didn't exactly see her perspective 1:1; as such, the rundown state of Mitakihara City not only represents her time loops and how it is the setting for all her time loops, but also how she failed to protect Madoka in the end and to grieve the normal life they could have had- had it not been for the universe and everything it stood for standing against them (it might also foreshadow the choice she had made at the end of Rebellion; trapping her team and the rest of the city in a gilded cage so that the incubators will not have a chance at hurting Madoka ever again)

Nagisa didn't have much of a social life outside of school, her run-down home, and visiting the hospital where her mother was at- and it is within that hospital that she proclaimed that she was done with being the perfect daughter to someone who barely deserved it; that it was her turn to take control

We can even tell that Sayaka watching Kyousuke's concerts was such a pivotal moment in her life because of how this specific memory was shown to us at least twice during the series; when she explained what happened to him and the cause behind her wish, and as soon as her soul gem had reached the point of no return- albeit for a split second.

Of course, this is not necessarily a strict rule to follow for when it comes to designing and deciphering witch labyrinths; H.N Elly's barrier resembles a snow globe in composition - according to production notes -, Charlotte is having a tea party with a doll in which both of them are unable to respond, and...I am not 100% sure on what to make of Ophelia's barrier- though I will come back to it later. Barriers don't have to be based on actual locations that are significant to the magi's life; rather, they can be manifestations of their desires prior to witching out- Elly wished to preserve a happy memory that gave her a shred of respite in the midst of the stressful life of an idol; and the tea party symbolizes the relationship Nagisa craved from her mother, that she was the timid one of both parties- silent as a doll, and how ultimately hollow that wish is- in the end, it's just a toy; it cannot respond to her even if she could speak, nor could it comfort her.

Unsurprisingly, I can see that Ludwig's barrier could be an infirmary...no, that can't be right; after all, Ludwig does what he does not out of compassion for the sick, but because he could. He seeks to change and perfect the mercs; turning them into unstoppable killing machines forged by his own hands and mind. He usually does all this to satisfy that itch in his mind and the excitement whatever results he gets from these surgeries bring him. It looks like a place of respite for one's health, but it is a death trap, first and foremost.

As a reference to his escape from Germany, maybe Ludwig's doves are still flying around the barrier; blood and feathers staining the floors and hallways, and themes of uprooted trees are peppered in as paintings and ruined potted plants. This represents the panic setting in and high speeds of the van, on top of how he came to discover and adopt these feathery companions of his, while the uprooted tree symbol suggests that he has nothing waiting for him back home in Germany; the other mercenaries went back home after the events of Rings of Fired (sans Pyro and Engie) except for Medic, after all. Maybe he was just lucky(?) enough to immediately land a job amongst the classic mercs, or perhaps...he just couldn't go back "home", not after everything.

Going back to the canonical barriers for a sec, one part of when it comes to designing a proper labyrinth is that, sometimes, a person can sway your heart so much they could change the trajectory of your ideals and influence the way you look at both your actions and the world around you.

This is most evident in Ophelia's barrier, as seen to us in Madoka Magica Portable; though it's hard for me personally to decipher exactly what it is, there's a fuck-ton of symbolic elements literally swimming around there, including musical notes floating from the ground and into the air. I don't think I need to specify exactly what said notes represent here.

Since there are multiple rooms within a barrier that can serve different functions, perhaps there's an outdoors segment where the magi first end up in; a frigid winter wonderland threatening to turn this labyrinth's visitors' limbs into unfeeling, darkened blocks of frozen meat falling off their bones. The only salvation from this bitter cold is to enter the interior segments of the barrier, and, even then, you are still not at all safe; his familiars are still on high alert- whenever they aren't "looking after" the other patients present -, and the infirmary in of itself is nothing more than the lure of an anglerfish- fooling the humans who have stumbled into it and punishing them to a fate worse than death.

The conveyor belt stretches through the halls of the labyrinth and leads right to the center; the operating room. There, the doctor awaits either his next batch of organs - human or otherwise - or a new patient. Ah, how everything runs smoothly; the bloodshed, the violence, the screaming- such fine melodies, they nearly compelled him go and play a tune on his "bone" saw at this very moment.

Another small detail that I want to pepper in is that there are the sounds and vibrations of a heart beat that echo through the halls of the labyrinth's interior sections. Perhaps there are slices of lavish wedding cakes (the van), pretzels (Germany), and all manners of bread (the mercs and that bread monster) that are being served in the canteen- and, before you ask, no, I would not recommend eating them. I know I already said that hearts are a core theme of the witch's design itself, and maybe the canteen thing is a bit too farfetched, but, hey, a nice detail is a nice detail.

Finally, so we can wrap this whole segment up already, we'll discuss the details of his witch's kiss/warlock's whisper. Now, Witch Kisses in-canon are...weird; they hold less consistencies than the witches themselves and their barriers, so it is hard to draw out the necessary similarities needed to create a decent design. Some witch's kisses are tied to the witch's type (Uhrmann, Homulilly), designs (Oktavia, Elly), and their grief seeds (Kriemhild). Sometimes, I have no idea on what they represent at all! (CANDELORO) I'm just gonna go on a limb here and just...wing it.

-BADUM TSS-

Okay, okay, that was horrible, I'm sorry. Indeed, wings will be a key theme- specifically 6 of them; not only are they reflective of him being a dove, but also to boost the holiness theme he has going on and to symbolize his earlier deal with the devil. In the middle of it, a clawed, red hand grabs on to an anatomical heart; whether he is handing it out or taking it for himself is unknown. Upon closer inspection, one can see that it is affecting the victim's veins, causing the area around the whisper to turn into a deep, glowing red; remember how the ubercharge works, people.

Finally, finally, after two months of hard work - two months of AGONY -, we have it; the moment we have all been waiting for...

-Witch Card-

Asclepius, the Warlock of Reconfiguration. His nature is wonder. A revolting, mad avian who conceals his sickened mind with the appearance of a plague doctor, and a charming, silver tongue. Upon gathering up those who would become the volunteers and patients for his latest medical trials, his very own ward begins to choir and hum with every slice and stitch made on his victims' bodies; readjusting and mutilating their forms to fit what piqued his mind at the hour.

The leftover organs are then either stored for his future endeavors, swallowed whole by the warlock in order to improve upon his own self, or are kept alive - perhaps even conscious - within his barrier as a testament to his prowess; eternally trapped and wailing for the liberation of death.

-Familiars-

Galatea. Servants of the Warlock of Reconfiguration. Their duty is to worship. The warlock's beautiful creations- the culminations of his medical curiosities. Right out of the operating tables, they would test out the enhancements blessed to them, and continue to be of good use to the warlock by defending his infirmary and the operating room. Those who cross paths with the Galateas will not see a hint of hesitation- they are willing to keep the bloodshed around the labyrinth ongoing for the sake of their doctor, even at the cost of their own lives.

Though the warlock prefers the blank slates that are the humans who get admitted to his infirmary, he would still pick apart at and experiment on his Galateas, whether in order to fix them, enhance them using the organs of his victims, or to salvage as much of their parts as he could- perhaps in order to rebuild them in the future.

(Familiars are said to be "projections of a magi's heart before they became a witch"; as result, their duties can range from directly serving the witch - the Holgers representing Sayaka's desire to be in the center of Kyousuke's attention, and the Anthonies are tasked to care for the roses Gertrud cherishes from the bottom of her heart -, to becoming obstacles to all, sometimes even to the witches themselves - the Klarissas' only task is to dance around Oktavia, Anja's stated to have been separated from Albertine, and dare I talk about how the Clara Dolls represent Homura's self-loathing over her inability to save Madoka? -. It isn't uncommon to see that a familiar can be based on significant key figures in the magi's life, especially if they were either related to the wish they made or the cause(s) behind their despair.

These buggers here symbolize Ludwig's love for not just mutilation, but also reinventing the way his teammates' organs function- and, as I mentioned before, his deep trust in the mercenaries. He also compared himself to the divine on numerous occasions and is followed by multiple holy motifs in spite of his little deal with the devil going on; he was even followed by a choir and his doves flying behind him as soon as he stepped into the battlefield in Meet the Medic.)

-

Hubris. Servants of the Warlock of Reconfiguration. Their duty is donation. Bound by their hauteur and the broken bones of their bounties, these pathetic prisoners of the warlock have been chained and are treated as nothing more than livestock by both their master and his other servants. Watching their own organs and other body parts be pulled apart from one another before regenerating once more for the continuation of this cycle has drained all hope of ever escaping their punishments from their eyes- not with these atrophied limbs and sore boils.

Their stringy, rotting flesh provide little to no sustenance for neither the warlock nor his other familiars, and are too fragile to use for his medical trials - hence the need for human patients -. Nonetheless, they are bound to these spare operating tables, awake at all times, as the claws of the other servants pick apart and toy with each and every one of their fibers. The warlock finds humor in their agonized howls.

(They resemble misshapen versions of the TFC team - barring their own medic -, since we are going with the assumption that he took their souls rather than those his own teammates. Why I went with the idea of the classics themselves becoming his familiars is and are not just projections of how Medic saw them during his time working with them is due to how both Walpurgisnacht and Hyades Daybreak had their respective original forms re-manifesting as their own familiars.

Yes, Cheavy gets the worst of it.)

-

Archimedes. An old friend of the Warlock of Reconfiguration. His duty is attendance. As he glides through the bloodstained halls of the infirmary, this dove, whose pristine feathers have long since been soaked with a deep crimson throughout his master's countless trials, would not only take part in the warlock's surgeries as the role of a willing audience, but he would also stand by and even assist (Asclepius) - all the while satisfying his own morbid, sickened curiosity -. Of all familiars, the warlock treats this one with the most respect, understanding, and fatherly affection.

(Not a familiar that looks like the bird, not a familiar that is inspired by the bird- it's the fucking bird itself.)

-Inspirations-

In-game:

His doves, and the fact that Archimedes was a WEDDING DOVE before Medic found him

Him hijacking the chancellor's van during his wedding in order to escape Germany (and eventually finding then adopting Archimedes who was within it)

His silver tongue clashing with or weirdly complementing his deranged personality and actions; would it translate into his witch looking more humanoid, among other traits? Well...

His usage of animal organs to compensate for the fragility of human organs might make the humanoid aspect of his witch sort of moot

His bonesaw and how he plays it like a violin (non-conventional musicals?)

The Vita-saw

Ubercharge

Him playing cosmic systems like a damn skipping rope to his advantage (reviving Sniper and having multiple souls sewn into himself in order to scam the Devil out of their deal). This does not work with Kyubey, like, sir, your surname ain't Kaname, if memory serves me right

The Blighted Beak cosmetic; its Vibrio Cholerae style specifically, as it would better fit Inu Curry's art style

Medic's gameplay in both the vanilla game and the V-Script Zombie Infection mode

"And no wonder! For even the devil disguises himself as a being of light." - His association with themes that are considered "holy" and "good" in Meet the Medic and several of his own cosmetics...yeah, no need for me to go into detail as to how ironic this all is

Outside Influences:

The Greatest Living Show by Itoki Hana and Toby Fox (wow, I have an addiction to Itoki Hana's songs, don't I?)- evident especially with the heart beats in his barrier

Repo! The Genetic Opera

German fairytales- especially with how some of them revolve around mortals dealing with otherworldly beings

-Closing Statements-

To be completely honest, I wish I was able to actually draw this shit and not make ya'll read through this drag of a document and leave the gist of it up to your imaginations. I also have to apologize for how rushed it is near each segment's ending; I initially wanted to publish this around the start of October, but it was far, FAR from finished by the time it rolled around.

This has been a wild 2 or so months; constantly looking up references and refining the concept time and time again along the way, and it is still not perfect (especially with how the description of the warlock's appearance), but, overall, I am very happy to have managed to deliver it during spooky season.

I should also give a huge thanks to @bluethepearldiver! Not only did they support me incredibly so throughout the process of writing this in ways I cannot write down so easily, but they've also helped me with the names of his familiars and that RAW line ("Unfortunately, his trickery of the devil himself had rendered him too confident. This unassuming little creature was no devil.")! So, please, do give them the support they deserve ;0;

Once more, I am more than willing to listen to suggestions and criticisms; I'm aiming to not just improve upon Asclepius, but also the other mercs' witch forms when the time comes (I even have a concept for Scout's)! Do not be afraid to send an ask or even tag me regarding the matter- I'll do my best to reply (if Tumblr gets its head outta its ass and does its job notifying me for once)!

Thank you all so, so much for reading all this! I appreciate any and all engagements and feedback coming my way.

[haridraws]

sorry to bother you, i saw your 2022 hourly comic post today and i first want to say thank you because it’s really my exact situation in so many ways, right down to being apart from my partner (haven’t gotten to see her since the start of the pandemic since we’re both disabled and public transport is a covid nightmare but we’re on the council housing waitlist so hopefully eventually!) and it means a lot to not feel alone in that. i wanted to ask about the mobility chair that helps you sit up if that’s okay? i have a simple bed setup but being able to sit in the living room with the sun and a view is nice, but i can’t sit up unsupported for long and i can’t really like Do Anything and also sit upright bc the sitting up is all my energy, so a chair like that might be something to save for if you could maybe tell me about it! also does it have support for the neck/head? i think my spine is getting compressed from not being able to sit up for so long lol but i might be able to find cushions for that so that’s less essential!

anyway, sorry to ramble on! no pressure if you can’t manage a reply, the fact that i know about such chairs now is helpful so thank you either way!! and probably very belated but i was scrolling your blog and happy to see you have a place with your partner, so congrats! take care and all the best to you both!

thank you for this message, v sorry you're in the same boat as I was. Answering properly and publicly in case this is useful for anyone else:

Stuff I personally use to make being bedbound more comfortable

obligatory disclaimer I am not a doctor, stretching or moving your body a little (see 18) if or when you can is probably good, etc.

1. SPECIAL FURNITURE The chair I have NOW is a "riser recliner" and I usually add a small pillow for lower back (and sometimes head) support. Like adjustable beds, they're whole furniture with powerful (HEAVY) motors built in, so they're expensive. They're usually cheaper:

if you don't need to be tipped out (just power recliners, though they might recline less or provide less support)

from regular shops, not mobility ones.

If you're able, you can go into a store and try one out first (personally being taken in a wheelchair was worth the strain, because it was weirdly hard to predict what back shape would be comfy).

if you're in the UK and you're 'chronically sick or disabled' you can get them VAT-free to make them 20% cheaper - mobility stores will have a form, others you might have to ask / check the shop does it

(I got one I could lie flat in, that came with a free setup service in the 'room of my choice'.)

It still took me 8 years of illness mostly stuck in bed to get both chair and bed because of (a) the price (b) not being sure I was sick enough to "deserve" it, same with my wheelchair. THIS WAS A FOOLISH WAY OF THINKING. There's no threshold required to get devices that will make your life easier / less agonising. Mobility aids are for anyone who'll be helped by them.

2. ADJUST EXISTING FURNITURE WITH WEIRD PILLOWS Special furniture will obviously not be possible for everyone, and before I got the chair, I just used a combo of regular pillows and a triangle wedge pillow in bed (though it took trying 2 different wedges to find one that was a good shape for me.)

Last year someone ( @dont-break-hearts I think? THANK YOU) recommended me this shape cushion - some start at £15 on that site. That's now what I use to sit on a regular sofa, though I also always need my legs up at the same height (tall footstool now, but a sideways dining chair works ok) so it's closer to lying down.

These aren't 100% ideal - ymmv, I still need extra cushions and any position gets stiff after a while - but for me are WAY BETTER than just layering pillows or forcing myself to sit up.

[yukirayu]

Taku and Madarame: To Heal and To Hurt

Before we get to anything, please know that I am not reading anyone for filth here. Everything I wrote for this meta is based on what the visual novel showed us and what I have observed from the visual novel, but it’s still difficult to talk about anything involving a certain character without it sounding like I’m bashing them.

Now, to start, I want to show you all this fanart (source here), which I find fascinating.

(Note: I highly recommend that you check out the rest of this artist’s work. Plenty of great TakuTowa fanart for all lovers of the pairing.)

I am promoting the fanart above because it effectively shows how Taku and Madarame are effective foils of each other. I already made a similar post before about Taku also serving as a good foil to another character (Sakaki). This post is going to be like that one, but this one is explained in greater detail; though both posts have the same goal: to compare and contrast. 

Of course, be warned of the following: 

Before you read any further, there will be spoilers, and I mean plenty of them, so I advise you not to read this if you haven’t completed the visual novel and want to complete it whilst blind. 

What you will see under the “Read More” will be long, and I mean really long and possibly incomprehensible with all my rambling, so brace yourselves. 

Every narration from the game is rephrased so that it reads in third-person, which is how it’s supposed to read in the original version. This is done to help with maintaining objectivity as I explain and point out things.

If you want to read this in a different platform, the meta is also available for reading on Google docs. 

How Long They’ve Known Towa

To start with something simple: out of Towa’s four love interests, Taku and Madarame are the only ones who personally knew Towa for a long time. Sure, Rei may technically count as well since he knew Towa since middle school, but he and Towa never interacted until they were already full-fledged adults. Towa didn’t even realize that he and Rei attended the same school until Rei pointed it out in his route.  

Taku knew Towa since he was a child, since he was assigned as Towa’s physician. As such, he was the one who would patch up Towa’s wounds or check on him when he falls ill (both of which are thanks to Maya’s “loving” care). After Maya’s death, although Taku is not legally assigned as Towa’s guardian, he still helped look after Towa for the longest time, which they both acknowledge. 

Towa and Madarame were also joined at the hip when Towa was in his teenage years and was still an active member of the Takasato-gumi. The two were basically friends with benefits, though the ‘friends’ part in the term is questionable. They often slept together because they gave each other the violence and pleasure the other wanted, and they often hung out (with Kaga) but that’s about it.  

Relationship with Towa 

(as established by the beginning of the common route)

In the common route, in what seems like a simple scene where people are having lunch at Yanagawa Café, we are already given an idea of what kind of relationship Towa has with both Taku and Madarame at present.

Taku is the very first love interest to show up. How is he introduced? Fussing over Towa and getting exasperated with him, while also subtly showing concern for him. They also occasionally hang out together outside work hours, which establishes that they’re on friendly terms. Even then, there’s the kind of distance between them where while they get along, they’re not so close that they share all their secrets. 

Towa would never know the real Taku, nor would Taku ever know the real Towa. Even though they had known each other for years, it didn’t mean they understood everything about each other. 

As for Madarame, as far as Towa knows, the man died years ago. If Madarame’s route isn’t taken, Towa will keep thinking that, especially since he no longer has any positive feelings for Madarame and would prefer to forget about him entirely. We don’t know why yet, since until after his route is unlocked, Madarame remains shrouded in mystery. Nevertheless, Towa’s disdain for him is made clear. 

As it happened, Towa knew the person they were gossiping about. A lot about him, in fact. […] But Towa would rather not remember him, and thus avoided thinking about his name or his face.

Conflict with Toono 

Until Fujieda’s route proved otherwise, the fact that Toono actively plays the role of the villain in both Taku and Madarame’s routes baited us all into thinking that he’s the only one who’s really out to give the cast trouble, and it’s not hard to see why. 

Taku owes Toono a great debt because it’s only due to the latter’s financial assistance (even though it was provided to Taku with an ulterior motive) that Taku was able to become a doctor. Even though he despises Toono and hates doing the jobs assigned to him by the Takasato-gumi because it goes against his morals, the fact that Toono aided him is something he cannot deny. Of course, Toono takes advantage of this, and even deliberately adds fuel to the fire by getting Towa involved when he notices that Taku is getting increasingly reluctant to make the drugs that Toono wants to distribute around Shinkoumi. This is what sets up the conflict and the main plot for Taku’s route. 

This aside, Toono is also the reason why Kaga died and why Towa lost his right eye, even though in the latter case, the bullet was meant for Madarame. Even then, Madarame still got wounded, yet the entire night was chaotic enough for the Takasato-gumi to give up on looking for his corpse and just claim that Madarame was dead. Madarame may deny that he’s out for revenge, but this is contradicted by him saying that “[Kaga] didn’t have to die.” This means that Madarame is out to settle the score with the syndicate, especially with Toono, and the climax of Madarame’s route even covers his blood debt finally being repaid. 

Another obvious point of comparison is how they deal with Toono. Both are given the opportunity to point a gun right at Toono and end him then and there. Both wouldn’t have hesitated to pull the trigger. Except that while Madarame - dead-set in his revenge - aims straight for the heart, Taku changes his aim at the last minute. Not because he hesitated, but because he - in his words - refuses to play by the other’s games and stoop down to man’s level for another second. 

This alone shows how Taku and Madarame are fundamentally different people. 

Personality (Indetermination vs. Certainty)

How different Taku and Madarame are is reflected in both how they’re introduced and what the player learns about them in full by the end of their respective routes. And in both cases, they’re always like yin and yang.

At the start of the game, Taku is established as someone who looks out for Towa’s well-being. While he’s exasperated with some of Towa’s tendencies (like being late for work and preferring to ingest nicotine and alcohol over actual food and water), he never tries to outright interfere…. unless you play his route, where his protectiveness starts to really rear its head, which puts him and Towa at odds with each other. 

As you progress further into Taku’s story, both you and Towa realize that Taku is far more fractured than he appears, and this can be traced to his mother’s death, something Taku has been beating himself up for to this very day. What doesn’t help as of late is his debt to Toono, which starts to actively threaten his day-to-day life; and it even gets Towa endangered due to the latter’s association with Taku. 

It’s then that as Towa tries to figure out what’s going on in Taku’s mind, he starts to realize the man’s greatest flaw. What is that? Taku always wavers, no matter the kind of decision and no matter who it involves, be it something about himself or about someone else. Because he always fears the worst-case scenario and is never sure whether he’s truly doing the right thing. More often than not, he’s not even certain of his own intentions. This has something to do with the guilt he harbors towards his mother’s demise. He fears that even if he does everything, it won’t be enough, and that holds him back. Even after he finally makes his resolve about his situation with Toono, he hasn’t completely gotten rid of his flaw in the drama CD, and Towa has to force him to make up his mind once and for all after confronting him about how he’s at it again. 

From what is heard of Madarame, almost everyone just talks about how freakishly strong he is or how he’s supposed to be dead. While we can only guess what kind of person he may be (at the time), those conversations alone are enough to tell us that he carries a very imposing presence. 

Once we finally see him, you realize that - besides the part where he supposedly died - everything else the others say about him aren’t an exaggeration. The man really is imposing, and his strength may as well be inhuman. He possesses an indomitable will and is the kind of person who will do what he wants to do, wherever and whenever he wants, and however he wants.

And remember the title of his chapter: Immutable. Never yielding, never changing– which is Madarame’s character in a nutshell. How can he be like this? Because Madarame doesn’t have any mental or emotional burdens. There’s no deep-seated scar that Towa has to find, and this is reflected in the Interrogation since Madarame is the only one where the opposite approach has to be taken to get the good ending.  

Taku and Rei are able to grow and heal if the right choices are made, and while Fujieda never gets subjected to an Interrogation since he’s able to resolve his issues by himself, he undergoes a development nevertheless and still reflects on himself. But as Towa observes, Madarame has never changed since years ago, and even at the end of the route, he’s still the same person that we saw him as from the start. He had not changed, and he never will change; hence why immutability is rooted into his very being. 

Violence (Avoidance vs. Gratification) 

Taku is a doctor and he pursued such a profession because he wants to save lives, as compensation for the life he wanted to save most yet was ultimately unable to. Naturally, he regards both life and death with grave seriousness and never regards it in a flippant manner, which makes him worry often for Towa, who couldn’t care less what happens to him. 

On the other hand, Madarame may as well be violence incarnate—he lives and breathes to fight and carries a lust for blood. If he faces an obstacle, he’ll metaphorically and literally punch his way through said obstacle. And to him, life and death is nothing more than a game, a gamble, and he finds more fun in the challenge than in the outcome.  

Now as for how this affects their approach with Towa…

Taku never does much to protest Towa’s stints whenever the latter pursues his artistic hobbies, but it doesn’t mean he likes seeing Towa either hurting himself or getting himself hurt, and he does make his displeasure known every once in a while by commenting on Towa’s wounds. Towa even remembers one time from some years ago, when Taku was absolutely furious after seeing Towa at the brink of death when an encounter with a potential model went awry.

Not to mention, there’s the way Taku treats Towa during sex. No matter what, Taku refuses to give Towa the rough treatment. At most, he will kiss and caress Towa’s scars, but no more than that. He even tells Towa that he knows his masochism is no more than a means to castigate himself. As such, Taku refuses to indulge in that, because he wants Towa to know that he’s worthy of being loved and cherished in a healthy way and that he can still feel pleasure through gentle and affectionate touches.

On the other hand, Madarame wants Towa to embrace the violence inside him and to live for violence, whether Towa inflicts it or receives it. He doesn’t mind Towa’s masochism and even seeks to indulge in it and to even amplify it, if possible. Though one can only wonder if Madarame ever saw the connection between Towa’s penchant for self-harm and the trauma of his childhood, the latter of which he’s hinted to be aware of to some degree, especially since he noticed Towa’s disdain for complete silence.

It also goes without saying that Madarame is the love interest who engages in the roughest and most violent sex with Towa. When Towa was still kept in chains as the other’s captive, Madarame showed his special brand of affection by making Towa bruise and bleed, and even after they properly rekindle their relationship later on, they still enjoy roughing each other up as part of their foreplay.  

Unconditional Love vs. Conditional Love

Since he knows enough about what Towa’s childhood was really like, Taku also knows why Towa is the way he is. He knows why Towa indulges in self-destructive habits and why he’s almost completely apathetic to the motions of life. Taku doesn’t like it and the only reason he doesn’t protest too much is because he’s held back by the fear that he may end up accidentally giving away the truth, so he plays it safe by protesting on occasion but never actively trying to interfere (except when he’s certain that Towa may get himself killed).

Even then, in the event that he falls for Towa, all the negatives that he has observed from Towa doesn’t prevent him from having feelings for the other man. In spite of how flawed Towa is, Taku loves him all the same, especially since he understands why Towa is like that. Of course, he wants to help Towa heal (as much as he can at least) and grow out of his love for pain. But this aside, plus the fairly understandable request for Towa to stop sleeping with other men, Taku accepts Towa the way he is now and never asks Towa to conform to an image he has of him. This makes his love qualify more as an unconditional one. 

As unorthodox as it is, Madarame’s love for Towa is sincere nonetheless. After all, for the longest time, he thought Towa died the same night Kaga did, and it’s hinted that this did affect Madarame to a degree, especially when he took a close look at Towa’s missing eye. Part of the reason Madarame even came back to Shinkoumi was to reunite with Towa. Madarame may like to make sardonic statements, but it’s obvious when he’s being upfront about his thoughts and feelings without the usual barb. When he tells Towa that he’s all he needs and asks him to not leave again, he meant it. 

That being said, he’ll only reach out to Towa if he sees a chance that Towa can return to being the person Madarame last remembered him being. If Madarame thinks that Towa is, in his own words, “too far gone”, he won’t bother anymore and will leave Towa alone. This is why his love still counts as the conditional kind of love. He only loves the Towa that he once knew, but not the Towa that he sees now– which is ironic since Madarame is supposed to be a man who focuses only on the present, not the past.

Towa’s Visage

The only thing that really changes with Towa’s appearance in Rei and Fujieda’s good endings is his attire. On the other hand, in Taku and Madarame's good endings, Towa doesn’t undergo only a wardrobe switch; even the color of his hair changes as well.

Taku’s default appearance has his hair being mostly black in color, though the edges still have traces of the blonde dye that he would put on when he was still a teenager.

In Taku’s Euphoria ending, Towa grows out his hair such that it goes way past his shoulders. The blonde streaks are gone and his hair color is now a full raven black. This represents how his mental state has (even if not completely) gotten better, with his appearance being reminiscent of his younger and more innocent self. He even casts aside his black attire for a white shirt and a blue cardigan, which encapsulates how he’s become more at peace and put-together, and is now able to find contentment with the simple things. While he’s still the same person overall, he no longer seeks out violence nor does he want or need it just to feel something. 

Towa also grows out his hair in Madarame’s Euphoria ending, but here, his hair is now blonde once more. Besides that, he also wears a hoodie with a design that makes it obvious to anyone who sees him that he’s feisty and rebellious, there are also the bandages on his lower torso. This reflects how he has become his younger and hotblooded self once more, with his propensity for violence now more active than passive. But since he’s no longer bound to Shinkoumi and his memories in it, he has remodeled both his identity and his love for pain, and he has become someone who always seeks to feel excitement and the rush and thrill of a fight or a beating. 

Towa’s Past, and What They Know

Taku knows plenty of sordid details about Towa’s past, but just to be clear, he doesn’t know everything. He has no idea that Sakaki is complicit in Maya’s dastardly plans. Sure, he gets wary whenever Towa gets involved with the Takasato-gumi, but his suspicions are always focused on Toono, in particular. If he even had an inkling about Sakaki, a lot of things would have turned out differently.

If one pays attention to the dialogue in his route, Taku only found out the truth about what Maya was doing to Towa after the “accident” where Maya fell down the stairs. We don’t know how he found out, but it is important to remember that it’s only then that Taku discovered what Towa had actually gone through, and it’s exactly because Taku knows how horrifying Towa’s childhood was, that he does everything he can to keep it hidden from Towa. 

If he gets caught in the lie, the most he can do is keep Towa from finding out more. Where Fujieda holds the key that allows Towa to finally unlock the doors where his memories stay hidden and repressed, it’s Taku who tries to keep every other key away from notice and from reach. 

While he accuses Taku of being dishonest and secretive, Madarame is the pot calling the kettle black. As revealed in Fujieda’s route, Madarame also knows a lot about Towa’s past, and knows enough that he can even pinpoint to Towa where Euphoria was, so it’s safe to assume that he also knows what happened to Towa during his time in that wretched mansion. 

However, what’s interesting with Madarame is that in his own route, he doesn’t tell Towa what he knows; but in Fujieda’s route, he gives Towa a hint.

We already know why Taku opted to not tell Towa anything, On the other hand, we’re left to guess why Madarame changes his gears from saying nothing to dropping some clues. It’s at least obvious that he didn’t do it out of altruism, so that makes it highly likely that he either withdraws or reveals the truth only because he felt he had something to gain from it.

Now, this is just my speculation, but I think he did either with the same goal in mind: to distress Towa in such a way that it will drive a wedge between him and the others.  I’ll expound on this later on in another topic.

Taku and Madarame, Mei and Maya

Because I was apprehensive about saying or even analyzing any more about Madarame due to the thought that I might end up coming across as if I’m dragging him, it took until buzzin_buzzard’s tweet for me to fully acknowledge the similarities that could be found between Madarame and Maya, of all people. I summed it up in TV Tropes, but I’ll go into more detail for this meta. 

I made a meta from before where I briefly likened Taku to Mei, since they’re both the only figures from Towa’s childhood who showed him kindness and made him feel safe, even if only for a short while. The key difference between Taku and Mei was that Mei knew exactly what Towa was going through (since she was in a similar situation herself) whereas Taku had no idea what was happening at the time. Nevertheless, they were the only two people who were not out to harm Towa, because everyone else hurt him, whether it was intentional or whether it was because they were coerced into the act (i.e. Ikuina and Asakura). 

Both also helped throw a wrench in Maya’s plans. Mei told Towa that he had to get away from his mother. Their attempt to escape may have ultimately failed, but that event still left an impact on him because that small taste of freedom allowed him to realize what could be waiting for him beyond the opulent halls of the mansion, and especially because of what he would eventually find out with regards to what Maya did to Mei in retaliation. When Towa learned exactly why Mei died, he summoned the will to defy Maya for the very first (and only) time, and it led to what would eventually be Maya’s demise.

However, just because she died doesn’t mean she’s gone, not with her final order to Sakaki. Unfortunately for both the mastermind and the adjutant, the trauma of the incident stripped Towa of his memories, which waylays their plans. And Taku (unwittingly) makes sure it stays that way by never letting Towa remember his childhood and letting him live in ignorant bliss. Of course, it’s not all good; the damaging trauma of Towa’s childhood had already left his mark, resulting in his hedonistic and masochistic tendencies. Still, without the recollection of his childhood, Maya’s plan is left at an impasse, and it will stay that way in Taku, Rei and Madarame’s routes. 

Now, this is the part that I was afraid of talking about the most, but if you take a moment to think about it, Madarame and Maya mirror each other to some degree. Madarame is so physically strong that nothing and no one can beat him, but that’s why he gets bored so easily. Maya was a master manipulator and can control anyone she set her sights on, but deep down, she felt isolated and her psychopathy did nothing to sate her loneliness. 

This is where Towa/Haruto steps in.

As Madarame states outright in his route, he feels that only Towa can give him the exhilaration he wants yet can’t find with anything and anyone else, and that only Towa can understand his bloodlust and his love for pain. 

You are the only person in the world who I consider my match. You want what I want. You feel what I feel. With you, I'll never be bored. And you feel the same way, don’t you?

With Maya, there is the very fact that she wanted Towa to follow in her footsteps both literally and figuratively. One likely reason is that this is also her way of ensuring that her legacy will go on. Another possible explanation is that Maya believed if there was one other person who acts and thinks the way she did, life won’t be so forlorn anymore.  

In her last recorded message: I asked Sakaki to fulfill one last request for me. I asked him to help you find true happiness in my place, and to make sure that you’d become my successor.  

Madarame isn’t the most expressive kind of person, but it doesn’t automatically mean he’s as emotionally stunted as Maya was. He just has a very good rein on his emotions, and even if he’s very unconventional about it, his love for Towa (even if it’s only to a certain kind of Towa) is sincere. Maya - even if she could perfectly emulate both affection and tenderness - felt that she could never love, yet believed that she loved Towa as best (worst) as she could. Her brain is undoubtedly wired wrong (and really, really wrong), but her admission is also undoubtedly a genuine one. 

And they both express their love in the only way they knew how: violence. Madarame inflicts it directly by making Towa bruise and bleed whether it’s consensual, nonconsensual, or a bit of both, whereas Maya does it indirectly, letting her clients have their way with Towa, regardless of what they would do to her son. They both think that it’s because Towa/Haruto enjoys it and that it makes him look even more beautiful. Of course, we know that Towa finding arousal in the rough treatment that Madarame gives him reflects how he made himself love pain as a subconscious coping mechanism for all the torture he suffered at Maya’s hands.  In Fujieda’s words:

By accepting the trauma others would inflict on you, you desperately cling to the last shreds of your personal autonomy. Cutting yourself was a self-destructive impulse— a punishment for being worthless.

With this, there is the main reason why Taku and Madarame are bound to always be at odds with each other whenever Towa is involved. The reasons are, in essence, similar to the reasons which explain how Mei and Maya contrast each other, especially with regards to Towa. 

In Towa’s childhood, Mei was the light in Towa’s life, where Maya was the darkness. Mei was a symbol of purity, hope and innocence, and Maya was essentially corruption in human form, luring and poisoning everyone around her. Because of this, Maya saw Mei as a “toxic influence”  in Towa’s life and had her killed. This is hugely ironic since it’s obvious who the real toxic influence is, but anyhow…

Similarly, though it never escalates to murder (if only because Madarame is someone who prefers to beat up someone instead of killing them outright), Madarame still kidnapped Taku, held him hostage, and also threatened him. And if you remember, there is a brief moment in Madarame’s route where he questions why Towa feels the need to cover his eye with a patch, and one should keep in mind that it’s Taku who takes care of Towa’s injuries. This scene alone already sums up their opposing viewpoints to both Towa and to violence. In this case, it’s easy to put Taku in Mei’s position, and Madarame in Maya’s. 

This consequently shows the difference in how they’d react if - in a route where neither is the chosen love interest - Towa figures out his past with someone else’s assistance, and what kind of person he could become once he learned enough.

Reaction to Towa’s Growth (in Fujieda’s Route)

Madarame’s presence in Fujieda’s route is very brief, but a lot could be drawn from it nonetheless. Just like in his own route, he holds Taku hostage to draw out Towa. However, the circumstances and the venue are different from before. 

Instead of the back of the clinic, they now meet at the outskirts of the Deathmatch Area. Instead of being forced to meet with Madarame in private to ensure Taku’s safety, the entire gang has gathered, all wide awake and conscious with varying awareness of what’s going on. And instead of Madarame telling Towa that Taku is lying to him, Madarame points Towa to his mother’s mansion. 

This all culminates in Fujieda and Madarame exchanging blows, and right as the latter is about to land a crippling hit, Towa intervenes halfway to take a hit for Fujieda… which immediately ends the fight since Madarame loses interest then and there. 

Why? Let’s recall how the entire scene was narrated.

As Fujieda doubled over, Madarame began to launch another attack. 

“Madarame!” Towa rushed over and jumped in between them. 

Madarame’s fist grazed Towa’s head as the latter hit the ground, landing on his stomach.

Taku dashed over to Towa’s side. Meanwhile, Rei slowly pushed himself up while gritting his teeth in pain. Fujieda frowned at Towa, then turned his head and glared at Madarame. 

However, Madarame seemed to have lost all interest. His arms hung limply at his sides. His self-assured grin was gone, replaced by a pair of cold eyes that stared down at Towa.

“I never knew that you were such a drag.” (Note: Based on the context and the tone that was used, the original JP text of the line「･･････つまらないことをするな、お前」 could also translate to “I never thought you would do something so absurd,” since the word ‘tsumaranai’ can be used to describe something that’s either boring, trivial or foolish.)

Enduring the pain, Towa glared back up at Madarame as he continued kneeling on the ground.

Contrast this to Towa’s reaction in Madarame’s route after he gets confirmation that Taku is keeping secrets from him, just like Madarame warned. This lands the final nail in the coffin for Towa’s belief that he can never return to his old life, which leads him to do this:

Rei, “You’re heading towards the Deathmatch Area! You hate Deathmatches, right? So why are you going there? …To see Madarame?” 

Towa remained silent, causing Rei’s brow to furrow deeply. Towa glanced at them, then turned and started walking.

Rei, “Don’t do this, Towa! Why?! Why are you going to him? Don’t go!

Taku, “Towa!”

Towa could hear their anguished screams. But as he kept walking, their voices faded into the distance. Their desperation could no longer reach him.

Towa had realized who he truly was, and he was not the kind of person who belonged with them.

He belonged somewhere else. 

So back to our original question: why did Madarame suddenly lose interest in the fight? Why did he suddenly decide to not bother with Towa anymore? Because to him, seeing Towa rush in and defend someone else is a sign that Towa had changed too much for his own liking. Sure, Towa showed some spunk in that act, but it was not the kind of spunk he wanted.

Not only that, but the act also indicated that by that point, even the threat of learning more about his past won’t sever any bonds that Towa shares with the other three (Taku, Rei and Fujieda). In other words, Towa will continue to have attachments to his home, or at least some of the people in it. No chance of burning bridges for good and leaving with him. And so, Madarame exits the scene.

Madarame – much like a ghost – completely fades away from Towa’s life. After he’s informed by Kotarou about what the man is up to next after ambushing the Takasato-gumi, Towa doesn’t bother thinking about him for another second.

And now, let’s talk about Taku. For almost the entire first half of Fujieda’s route, Taku was obstructive and unhelpful because he also feared that Towa would change. But in his case, “change” means the possibility that Towa could never recover from learning the truth—which does happen and nearly ends in the worst-case scenario. Taku had nothing to gain from keeping anything, yet he was willing to risk earning Towa’s anger and resentment by staying silent even as Towa attacked him, chewed him out, and pressed him for answers.  And Towa has a very good reason to be pissed at Taku, even if you can see things from the older man’s point of view. 

However, it should be made clear that while Taku’s actions were questionable, they were never once done out of malice or selfishness, which is saying something compared to say, Sakaki. Towa even comes to understand this, which is shown in two instances. One is in this dialogue from when Taku and Rei got patched up after their scuffle with Madarame.

“....Towa?” Taku mumbled. “Are you mad at me?”

Towa looked at him in silence. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“For hiding [the truth] from you.”

“But you only did it because you thought it was for the best, right?” 

The other instance is the update in Taku’s entry (from the codex): 

I’m sure Taku had his reasons 

When Towa manages to conquer his trauma in the good ending, Taku expresses relief and is even proud of Towa for it, acknowledging that Towa has truly matured and changed for the better with a smile on his face. In turn, Towa expresses his appreciation towards Taku, and it’s clear by then that their relationship has completely mended. 

Taku: All this time, I was scared of you getting hurt. So instead, I figured you were better off not knowing anything at all. But you were stronger than that. You remembered your past, overcame it, and then you came back. It's clear to me now... You just aren't the same little kid you used to be. 

Towa: Well, obviously. But I couldn't have done it alone... Turns out, there is value in connecting with people. I just could never see it. 

Taku: What do you mean? 

Towa: What I mean is... I wouldn't be standing here today without every single person in my life.

Taku: … I’m amazed you just said that. Now I can see for myself– you’ve actually overcome it. I can’t describe how relieved I am. 

With this, in contrast to Madarame, Taku remains an important figure in Towa’s life. In Volume 4 of the AfterStory drama CD, Towa takes the initiative to thank Fujieda for getting Taku exonerated and released early. In another scene, Taku confides to Fujieda about everything that happened before capping off by saying that he trusts Fujieda to look after Towa. Even when the story takes another path such that their relationship remains platonic, it nevertheless is a deep and important one for them both.  

Closing Remarks

Now that I think about it, the only reason the Taku vs. Sakaki meta is a bit shorter than I expected is because I had to make it fit into Twitter’s format. Had it occurred to me back then to just upload it all on Google Docs, I would have gone all out with comparing those two (note to revamp that meta later on, R.I.P. me). 

I admit that I’m biased towards Taku because he’s just one fascinating character all around, combined with the fact that he can serve as a foil or a mirror character two at least three other people who are connected to Towa’s past for a multitude of reasons– which fortifies my opinion that Taku would also make for an excellent “true” love interest besides Fujieda. 

At the same time, it’s also fun to try and analyze Madarame even if, at the end of the day, many things about him remain an enigma despite the fact that everything about him is supposed to be already on the surface. And without a translation of his AfterStory drama CD, a lot of things about him will remain a myth for me. 

Once again, if it sounds like I was insulting Madarame in this meta, I was not. Either way, sorry in advance and please don’t kill me. ^^; 

[lemongirl5910]

Rodrick headcanons

(note: this is my first fanfic I'm posting. ever. I hope yall like it. I am gonna have to hit yall with the 'English isn't my first language' just in case I made some mistakes, I have proof read it though. enjoy:) - lemon)

- when this guy first saw you. I swore he was left speechless. he just stared at you for a full minute before snapping out of it when you walked put from his sight

- he tries *very* hard to impress you. but fails miserably, a lot. you just think its cute though.

"Hey y/n, look at this!" he said as he tried, and failed to throw a peace of candy in his own mouth. you giggled and he felt a bit better about himself after that because he made you laugh. sorta...

- he remembers the most random things about you. like you mentioned you like a certain flavour of chips and he randomly bought it for you.

he knew you'd in the library reading. "Hey babe, I got you this," He said a little too loud, and they could hear an even louder "Shhh" from somewhere in the room. "aw thanks Rod" You smiled as you took the bag of chips.

"wanna get out of here?" you asked, and he grinned at you as he set down. "Nah, I'd rather stay here and let you read." omg he's so corny sometimes. you giggled "Rodrick you can't eat in the library..." he looked at you as he was about to open the bag of chips. "Okay, let's go." You giggled and packed your bag.

- sometimes you just catch him looking at you. he's not saying anything but you can feel his eyes staring at the side of you skull...

"Baby what are you doing?" I asked as you turned to him "Nothing love. you look so beautiful." you look down at that feeling your face heat up. "Oh shut up" He was still looking at you "No I mean it your so fucking beautiful I could look at you forever" He put his head on your lap and smiled up at you "Oh my gosh rodrick your so corny." you looked down. "you love it though." He grinned

- he makes you mixtapes. a lot of them. he mixes your and his favourite songs together to send you all these cute messages through the songs.

- he gives you a lot of recommendations on artists that he likes and gets so happy when you like them aswell. you can expect a new mixtape soon btw

- bro is 6'0 foot if your anything shorter then that he will make fun of you. he loves that he can put his head on top of yours, if you are not thy much shorter then him he wil find a way. idc he will find a way.

- he tells you about his band, maybe a bit too much. he's always talking about this new song they are writing, and you better believe that he's writing songs for/about you.

- he talks about you to his bandmates a lot too. they call him a simp and he glares at them for it. but deep down he knows..

- he showers because of you. before, he only showered when his mom forced him. Now he showers at least once a day because he wants to look and smell good for you.

- bro always has to be touching you one way or another. whether it's holding your hand our having an arm around your shoulder. he loves physical touch. a lot. sometimes he just comes up behind you and hugs you he will just stand there hugging you from behind.

- we know this guy sleeps... a lot. when you stay over you always wake up with him either laying on top of you or holding you tight with his face in your neck softly and or loudly snoring.

"Rodrick you're crushing me" you whine as you struggle to get away from under him. "hmm" He just hums and doesn't let go of you and just continues sleeping. you try to get out of his grasp. when you succeed he groans and wakes up with a pout. "Why are you leaving me" He whines as you get up. "I have to go to the bathroom ill be right back babe." He just stared at you as you left the room "ugh" He groans as he falls back on his pillow.

Hehe he loves youuu

thank you for reading more is definitely on the way!!

[freakrenaissance]

FANFIC REC MASTERLIST!!!!!!!

It's gonna be quite the undertaking....it'll probably take me a few weeks...but I thought I'd use the remainder of Valentine's Day for a true labor of love.

Still plugging away!!! Thanks so much to all who have liked & reblogged this monster of a list! I won't stop til all my faves are saved here...these masterpieces deserve it! (Check the bottom of the post for the date/time of latest update)

I'm gonna start categorizing alllll the juicy fanfic I'm collecting, so it's easier for me & my tribe to finds what we needs.

The artistry. My goodness. The hellsite we're all addicted to doesn't always show us the goods (tags, searches...you're still left wanting), so, it's high time i created my own card catalogue

I'm going to tag all my lovelies, my faves, & try to categorize them accordingly. Bear in mind, I'm NOT Tumblr savvy, even though i've been on this site for YEARS, so if you take issue with anything, please, POLITELY let me know. Also, if you don't wanna be a part of my lists, feel free to shoot me a message, & I'll remove ya, np ;)

Enjoy!!! & Please, like, share & REBLOG!!!!!!!! & remember: HEED ALL WARNINGS! ALL FICS ARE RATED E, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

THERE BE BOTH SMUT & FLUFF AHEAD....IF YOU'RE HERE, YOU SHOULD BE OVER 18!!!!!!

Pedro Pascal Characters

Pedro is my love. Has been since before that dark day In King's Landing ...These are the fics that I can't live without:

The Mandalorian/Din Djarin

Fic Rec Lists:

Din - @amorevolousfaith

First Class to Tatooine - @mandosmistress

multi part fic that has made the wait for season 3 an absolute JOY! Fills in every gap in the most delicious ways

Look - @omgreally

one shot - Touch-starved din, making me weak

Dosed - @absurdthirst

one of my all time favorite sex pollen fics!!! sooo delish

Hard Candy - @ezrasbirdie

possessive, bodyguard Din. Need i say more?

You became all the things I wished for, all the things I hoped - @charnelhouse

This entire series! Domestic din at his FINEST

Shared (ft. Paz Vizsla) - @javier-pena

delicously depraved, & exactly where i wanna be. lil dark...mind your warnings. but, omg, what a fave,,,,i've read this so many times! lol

Tattoo My Heart - @mandosmistress

I loooove this fic! our favorite bounty hunter, getting all tatted up & being sexy...I've read this countless times...definitely a fave

i’ve flown too close to the sun - @charnelhouse

One of my all time favorite Din series! That's it. That's the rec. Go check it out immediately!!!

Tie Me Up, Hold Me Down - @mandosmistress

younger din, showing off his knot-tying skills. Dominant & delish

Ner Yaim (My Home) - @dindjarindiaries (G)

A rare bit of fluff. Domestic DIn is my jam...this is adorbs

Carry Me To Safety - @221bshrlocked

More of Din & a lil lactation. this is a series, & I highly recommend going back & reading the whole thing (I'm about to start it all over again) this gem has it ALL

Lord Mandalore - @babybugwrites

Teasing the king in public...ill advised :) Smut ensues. Sign me up!!!

Chemical Feelings - @absurdthirst

One of my all time favorite sex pollen fics! (I should probably just make a whole sex pollen list lol)

Bred - @absurdthirst

One of the best Alpha Din fics in the galaxy. Including shenanigans from our favorite lil baby green bean.

Stuck - @omgreally

Trapped in a small space with our bounty hunter. What's the opposite of claustrophobia? This is one of my faves to reread right here

Marcus Moreno

Frankie "Catfish" Morales

Take Care of You - @whiskeynwriting

Edging Frankie. Sooo perfect

View - @say-al0e

Long distance lovin with Frankie

Ezra (Prospect)

A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop (T) - @oonajaeadira

Bookshop owner Ezra. I think thats nuff said <3

Jack "Whiskey" Daniels

Oberyn Martell

Marcus Pike

Pizza Comes Third - @whataperfectwasteoftime

Marcus finds your nipple clamps at work...then dreams come true lol,,,i love everything about this gem

Good to Know - @221bshrlocked

New Boyfriend Marcus. Size & age difference kink...sooo sweet!

Javier Pena

Dieter Bravo

A Little Like Strip Poker - @mandosmistress

DIrty, & delicious Dieter at his FINEST! The first Dieter fic I ever read, & still one of my faves

Hubris - @javier-pena

A lil hate sex with asshole Dieter. I adore this (every) version of him

In The Script - @the-fic-baker

Running lines with cocky, asshole Dieter. Love this! lol

Measurements - @boliv-jenta

Working on set with asshole Dieter...Gotta go reread every part of this!

Mr. Ben / SNL Pedro

Maxwell Lord

Joel Miller

"The Thief"

Pero Tovar

David York

'Aw, why are you shy now?' - @danidrabbles

I think this was the first time I ever read a Dave fic, & Omg, i was instantly hooked. So intense & delish

Javier Gutierrez

Chris Evans Characters

Oh, Chris. Yes, captain, my captain. It truly is America's ass :) These fics vary in their intensity...be forewarned. There's something very saucy about seeing the golden boy all tarnished ;)

Steve Rogers (AU)

Silent Whispers (i) - @bonky-n-steeb

Lumberjack Alpha!Steve. I need him to be real :P Completed trilogy!

Captain America

Curtis Everett

Ransom Drysdale

Ari Levinson

Lloyd Hansen

Andy Barber

Chris Evans RPF

Sebastian Stan Characters

The winter soldier is the part of a lifetime...but i'm still salty that the mcu stole him from once upon a time. He was a sexy ass mad hatter. gotta find all the jefferson fics!!!

Bucky Barnes / The Winter Soldier

honey, there is no right way (i) - @bonky-n-steeb

Sugar daddy, mob AU Bucky. This has so many layers of awesomeness, I can't even begin. Just go read it :)

nothing holding me back - @bonky-n-steeb

Alpha Bucky being sooo sweet & sexy! Roomies in Love!!!

A Proper Welcome - @navybrat817

More Alpha Bucky, with a special guest...this is one of my faves!

no sweeter innocence - @bonky-n-steeb

Another fave! Dom Bucky corrupting Tony's daughter....sooo yum!

Dinner and Diatribes - @darkficsyouneveraskedfor

A dark, regency AU for your pleasure..this is a stunning series!

Whiteout - @dilemmaontwolegs

Oh, to get stuck in a storm with Bucky Barnes...Let it snow, baby!!!

Make You Mine - @bonky-n-steeb

Alpha Bucky, all emotionally wounded...until he takes what he deserves. omg, I love this fic!

None Like You - @bonky-n-steeb

Football (soccer) player bucky, being all dominant in the locker room. this baby is delish. & i love his character in this!! It's a series...settle in :)

I'm a Fiend & You're All I Need - @bonky-n-steeb

Getting hubby Bucky to go harder...an embarrassment of riches lol Dominant Bucky deliciousness

Nick Fowler

Trust Me - @navybrat817

A lil Dominant Nick, with a sprinkle of feels. SO delish

Jefferson / The Mad Hatter

Oscar Isaac Characters

Mercy. I fell in love with this marvelous actor before i even knew what he looked like! I still can't believe he was apocalypse in x-men. & then you get a look at him?! Good gravy. Him & my hubby pedro together. My dreams have come true.

Poe Dameron

Santiago Garcia

Tom Hiddleston Characters

This one was a sleeper lol...out of nowhere he attacked me with those cheekbones & that accent....very friggin Loki

Loki

Jurassic Park Characters

One of my first fandoms EVER! I cut my teeth on dinosaurs, just like a normal kid....then things got nastay! lol Sometimes i'm in the mood for the OG, sometimes i want Owen & Claire. Here's a collection of my faves.

Owen Grady & Claire Dearing

Maisie Lockwood

Alan Grant & Ellie Satler

Ian Malcolm

Bridgerton

Doctor Who (These will mostly involve my river)

Right Person, Wrong Time - 11 x River Song - @mnemosyne-musing

Sugar Baby with Your Champagne Eyes - 12 x River Song @mygalfriday

Miscellaneous Characters:

My Love is Vengeance - Bruce Wayne- @charnelhouse

(more coming sooooooon. gtg back to orders, & i'm very tired. stay tuned for more updates!!!)

4:59am est 02/15/23 - started

10:00am est 04/06/23 - last updated